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{
"description": "repeatedly calling out a coworker for gross personal habits",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for repeatedly calling out a coworker for gross personal habits?
|
We work in an office setting in a small building. Our job duties require us to share some of the computers/workstations - not ideal, but necessary given the specialized software/hardware we use. I occasionally share a workspace with a coworker we'll call Dave. Dave is a nice enough guy. Dave, however, has some serious personal hygiene issues. He smokes like a chimney (and smells like it) and constantly has a "smoker's cough" and sneezes 2-3x per hour. Whenever he sneezes, he sneezes INTO HIS HANDS and will not wash them before then touching shared equipment (keyboard, mouse, etc.) If we have food catered, he will eat over the equipment and then LICK HIS FINGERS before then touching the equipment. There are other examples but I think you get the idea. Again, this is on a daily basis.
​
I have to share a workstation with this guy and I find this behavior disgusting. I am the only one who has to use this workstation with him. Other coworkers will witness him doing this and make faces or laugh, but because it's not "their workstation", no one cares enough to say something. Management doesn't care unless he were to actually break something, which he hasn't done. I have said something to him to please clean up/stop EVERY SINGLE TIME I see him do this, as I am often seated just feet away and I can watch him working. Despite my revulsion, I began by asking politely. He responded politely at first, as well. However, this behavior has continued for months, and I have become less and less polite each successive time. It has gotten to the point that the issue is starting to affect our working relationship. He now responds sarcastically and acts like I am being an asshole for asking him not to lick his fingers and then touch our shared keyboard. I have taken to carrying Purell wipes over to the workstation and wiping everything down before using it and avoiding contact with him. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not getting my housemate's mail",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for not getting my housemate's mail?
|
I share a mailbox with my housemate and check it once a day when I get home from work. Whenever I receive mail not addressed to me or the house, I leave it in the box. This includes all mail and packages addressed to my housemate. They check the mail very infrequently, less than once a week, so their mail piles up in our box. I also don't tell him when there is mail addressed to him because I rarely see him and because I don't feel like it's my responsibility to do so.
|
HISTORICAL
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{
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AUTHOR
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{
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WRONG
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|
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|
{
"description": "not scheduling my fiancé's nail appointments",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not scheduling my fiancé's nail appointments
|
So I had to create a throw away account because I was recently banned from this subreddit for "baiting" despite telling a completely true story. Anyway.
Am I the asshole for not scheduling my fiancé's nail and toe appointments.
So about 5 minutes ago my fiancé kicked me out of the bedroom because despite paying for her nail and toe appointments I don't schedule them. Heres the conversation word for word.
Her. My feet are getting tore up "hint hint"
Me. Ok schedule an appointment.
Her. Why should I have to schedule and appointment "her friends" fiancé schedules her appointments for her and pays for them every two weeks.
Me. I don't mind paying for your appointments but I don't think its to much for me to ask for you to remind me when you need them.
Her. You should know this and do this as my fiancé ugg whatever just leave "goes to sleep".
Seriously am I the asshole here? Cuz I don't see it.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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aedr8c
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{
"description": "locking my mother out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for locking my mother out?
|
Basically me and my mother have a dysfunctional relationship to say the least but its 'ok' because she works a lot and I'm ready to go to bed by the time she comes home so our interactions are at a minimum most of them time. Anyways, she doesn't have consistent hours and ends up coming home anytime from 6pm up until 1 am and so I never really know when she comes home but for the past two days she's been coming home at midnight. Now there are a few things i should mention before i carry on: A) We live in a flat which has a buzzer system, B) I'm in my final year of sixth form and for the past week or two I've been working exclusively in my room as it's the only place in the flat where i can actually get some work done, C) when I'm not listening for it I can't hear the buzzer from my room but if I'm in the living room i can hear it as clear as day and D) we only have one key for the building door (that i usually take because i come home a lot earlier than she does) but have separate keys for our flat door. So today I'm working in my room like any other weekday and i get a call from my mother asking me to let her in, so i go to buzz her in and then I get more than an earful (to put it lightly) about how she's been outside buzzing for ages. I then suggest to her that if she doesn't let me know when she finishes work she could always send me a message so i can listen out for the buzzer and well... she didn't like that. Apparently I'm being very pretentious, entitled, stupid and lacking of any common sense and I honestly can't see why. Her arguments were: E) After an entire day her battery is on a low percentage so she cant call me or else she risks her phone dying, F) I should move to the living room when shes about to come home and G) I'm being very selfish for asking that of her when I could simply come to the living room when shes about to come home. My rebuttal? E)Surely if she can conserve her battery over the hour and a half journey it takes to come home from work, surely she has enough battery to send me a simple message saying "im coming home" and/or she could tell me her work schedule before hand so i know when to expect her. F) I can't do this unless 1, she tells me her work schedule or 2, I stop working at home (previously when i spent my time working elsewhere she accused me of lying and then proceeded to prohibit me from going to Pret). G) I'm striving for the most efficient method that works for the two of us, how is this selfish? She then went onto ask me an array of rhetorical questions about who pays the bills, what the power dynamic of the household is, why I'm being so disobedient in the eyes of God and why she should be made to suffer in the cold while i enjoy the comfort of a warm house but I don't see why my suggestion is so offensive. Anyways, the first parents evening of the year is happening next week and she promises me that my evil nature behind closed doors will be exposed. She has also taken the key for the building door despite the fact that I get home earlier than her because I "deserve to be stuck in the cold" to know how it feels and I'm stuck thinking there's no way I'm thinking straight, i must be missing something. I've probably forgotten something so just ask if you need more info.
​
TL;DR I didn't hear my mum ring the buzzer for the building door, i suggest she may want to message me before hand so that i can listen out for the buzzer. I'm essentially told that I'm an asshole for even thinking this because I'm shifting the blame on her and not doing anything to fix the issue on my part. Am i actually the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to help me out with rent and bills because she lives with me now",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my girlfriend to help me out with rent and bills because she lives with me now?
|
I will try and keep this story very mutual as i understand you are only hearing it from my side of the view. Some history about me, I have had some very poor relationships and I know I am not the perfect guy, however I am 'too nice' sometimes which makes people walk all over me. I had a job where I didnt require a place to live due to excessive travel. It was a wonderful job and I unfortunately got let go. This amazing woman let me move in with her and her family and she has really been there for me when times are tough. I had enough money to get my life back on track and within one month of living at her parents with her I got a car, job and an apartment. I got the apartment in my name because i have been through a relationship before where things ended up not working out and I was screwed. I guess you learn from your previous relationships. She helped me move into my new apartment along with helping me buy new furniture and she came with me to purchase my new car. She has really been there for me. She immediately moved in with me and I could tell after a month she wasnt that comfortable. Maybe it was because of the drastic change from her parents? or maybe it was because we moved towards the big city? I still will never know but I could tell she was very uncomfortable.
My wake up costs are nearly $3000 dollars. Yes i know this sounds like a lot but my new job was paying well. Rent $1650, Car $400 with insurance, Phone bill, other bills, student loan. Yes it comes close to about $3000 dollars. Insane right?
Well fast forward 5 months later, I asked her to help me out with rent even if she could pay me $500 and possibly groceries. anything as this point because it is very expensive for me to be paying for both of us. She works full time 40 hour weeks. She makes about $3000-$4000 per month before taxes. She would never help me out!
Its getting to a point where I am coming off as a dick now because she is not helping me pay the bills at all, and i keep confronting her. Her excuses make me even more upset like how she said she pays her sisters gym pass and she doesnt even go. how does this effect me or even us? One of my friends asked if she splits the rent (idk why he asked but i was standing right there) She blatantly lied and said yes she helps a lot. I confronted her about this, she still just plays completely dumb about it and tells me she has no money and comes up with excuses where her money goes.
I cant keep doing this. I told her 'love' isnt enough to keep this together if she wants to be in a relationship it needs to be made together it feels very one sided right now.... It just sucks because im not that kind of guy that would just end it based off something like this but enough is a enough.
So everyone... AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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b0nmfu
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{
"description": "wanting to hang out with my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I want to hang out with my best friend?
|
Several years ago, in a drunken sort of way, I hooked up with a girl I had been flirting with for a bit. We didn't end up having a romantic relationship, and it never got sexual again after that night. We did, however, manage to build a long-lasting friendship and now I consider her to be my ride-or-die best friend.
​
For the record, I identify as sort of bisexual, but I'm much more interested in dating men nowadays. Random hookups are out of character for me, now, as well.
​
My current boyfriend found out about the encounter through the grapevine, but didn't tell me that he knew about it until I mentioned having gone to karaoke night with said friend recently. He got really quiet and terse with me, and when I inquired about his sudden change in demeanor, he said that he didn't like it when I spend time with someone I've slept with in the past. I protested (she's my best friend, that was years ago, not interested in women, not a cheater, etc) and he was unmoved. He doesn't say outright that I shouldn't see her or talk to her, but every time I so much as mention her or if he finds out I talked to her, he closes up and gets angsty in a similar manner.
​
Am I the asshole if I want to hang out with my best friend anyway, in spite of his feelings?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
azthmb
|
{
"description": "cancelling a friend's invite to a birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for cancelling a friend's invite to a birthday party?
|
Bit of context.
Everyone mentioned is either 20-21 male
This is an alt because the guy that's getting the birthday party knows my main.
Ok so me and 3 of my friends decided to surprise our best friend with a birthday surprise party. It's not much of a party we're just inviting him for dinner , getting him cake and just celebrating a friend's birthday in a less-crazy way.
Our families are all middle-class. but 2 are a bit high up there.
M (Me) , BF (Birthday friend) F1 ( Friend one) F2 (Friend 2) , F3 (Friend 3)
We tried asking BF where'd like to eat just like always but he asked us to agree on something and tell him.
I asked F1 , F2 & F3 and they said the same thing.
I started naming random restaurants for everyone privately , like I would send them private DMS and gather responses. Everyone would agree on except for F3 because it's a bit expensive for him.
(Keep in mind F1,F2 & I) knew that he'd have a little trouble with money so we told him that he doesn't have to pay 1/4 out of BF meal nor buy him a gift or anything. He'd just have to spend money on UBER & food he'll eat at the restaurant.
We named like 10-20 restaurants and he'd always say no either because they're too far or expensive.
We named the cheapest good restaurants (even burger places that are a bit more expensive than fast food restaurants) just for him to come with us and celebrate. He said that none will work.
The next day I told him to name restaurants that he'd go to and he literally said "I don't care,you guys pick and tell me". I told him that we agreed on like 15 restaurants and he rejected all of them. He shouted at me "I already told you I don't know and I don't fucking care dude" then he said "Let's just cancel this and make it next Friday".
I was really pissed. We gave him the option to choose and he rejected then he'd ask us to cancel our friend's BIRTHDAY celebration. I told him "hey If you don't want to hang out it's fine just tell us from the beginning instead of wasting our time We have a lot of planning in a short amount of time" I then stopped asking him where'd he like to go and just excluded him from the plans.
I feel bad that hey he doesn't have a lot of money ATM and I should respect that but he should also respect that it's a friend's birthday and it's only ONCE a year. Not something that we can cancel or delay. We tried cutting as much as possible for him without us extra paying. We only have a certain amount of money to spend on ourselves+ the fact that everyone of us is paying 1/3 for our friend's meal, 1/3 friends cake & 1/3 of friend's gift.
so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b080nl
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{
"description": "looking at my (now ex) girlfriend's facebook whem I suspected she cheated",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for looking at my (now ex) girlfriend's facebook whem i suspected she cheated?
|
She was 21 I was 22. The girl was going to break up with me anyway. She left her Facebook logged on to my computer and I never closed the browser so it stayed open. She was being incredibly distant over summer, not really wanting to talk or meet up whilst we were away from university.
I looked through the messages to find she had been meeting up with several people from Tinder (which she stated she used to make "friends"). Anyway, we ended up breaking up and I accused her of cheating on me with tinder guys, she stated she never met anybody from Tinder so I explained that I knew she was lying because I saw the messages on her FB account. Next thing she accuses me of being the asshole and threatens to get a restraining order against me.
I was loyal for the entire relationship (2 years long) and although I acknowledge that reading her messages wasn't the most trusting or honest thing to do, it at least helped me to see her for what she was.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
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|
b4203b
|
{
"description": "asking my friend to stop talking about her kids",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA For Asking My Friend to Stop Talking About Her Kids?
|
So this girl and I have been friends since high school, we bonded over 1D and Little Mix, and we lost touch for a little while after she graduated. When we started talking again she had a toddler and now she got lucky with twins. She's in a stable relationship that has a stable income and she always wanted kids, so I'm super happy for her! The problem is that she won't stop talking about her children. Yes, I get it, they're your kids and you love them, but stfu about them for half a second. I'll be telling her that I'm not feeling good and I don't want to talk right now and she'll tell me to go babysit her kids (for free!) cause that'll make me feel better. I know it's a joke, but she knows I don't like kids most of the time, and as I don't know hers and I don't agree with the way her and her SO are raising them, there's no way in hell that would ever be funny. And she knows that.
Last week I kind of snapped. It was a build up of her ignoring my requests to stop talking about her kids when I'm in a bad mood (whether that means mad or sad or anything that means I can't just send her supporting messages while she discusses how tired she is). I was in a certain amount of pain and she kept repeating "oh I get it, with the 3 demons around I'm constantly aching" or versions of that and I just snapped. Idk what happened, but I told her something along the lines of "You know we used to be friends because we had things in common, now we're friends because you have no other old friend left because you keep talking about your kids all the time. Having kids doesn't make you special and it definitely does not allow you to compare your pain - which is caused by your choices - and mine - which is due to a chronic pain disorder that has been ruining/controlling my life for the better part of 3 years." She told me that was harsh and unfair but I just told her that I had repeatedly told her to stop with her kids and her comparing her kid-related problems to my health problems. She told me I had been rude about her kids for a while now and that I should just tell her if I didn't love them. So I told her that I had never met them and that I don't like kids, "do the math." She called me an asshole, I didn't respond, and we haven't talked since.
So Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
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|
{
"description": "not saying I love you to my MIL",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not saying I love you to my MIL?
|
My husband and I have been together for 17 years or so, married 12-both 41. His family is in another state so I only spend time with my MIL for maybe two weeks out of a year. She is an amazing person, so warm and caring and considerate-I’m very lucky. He comes from a religious very family oriented situation, while I grew up in a very fractured dysfunctional family, never talk about your feelings or anything real. My MIL has always tried to connect with me via emails and phone calls, and always says ‘love you’ at the end of our interactions.
I appreciate this and it means a lot to me, but I can’t say it back and I feel shitty about it. I don’t say that easily, because I need to really mean it in my bones if I do. I’ve had some fairly traumatic situations with two different stepfathers and though I know an in law isn’t the same, it does still feel a bit like having family foisted on me again that I didn’t choose. I logically understand that by choosing to get married, I’m now part of his family, but due to my crazy past that just doesn’t mean as much to me as I wish it did. I’m kind to my MIL, I thank her for kindnesses and do my best to connect with her, but I just can’t bring myself to say ‘love you’.
I’m not even sure I don’t, I just don’t feel comfortable saying it. But-i know it would make her so happy and it’s just a few words that aren’t completely untrue. Should I just say it back? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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RIGHT
|
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|
b1bont
|
{
"description": "refusing to talk to my former high school bullies",
"pronormative_score": 90,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to talk to my former high school bullies?
|
I was bullied by a group of mean girls in high school and they only stopped because I complained on them to the counselor. Those girls literally ruined my high school experience.
I’m 24 now and it’s been many years since that happened. It’s not that I still feel resentment or I let that experience ruin my life but I just don’t want to see their faces ever again in my life.
I had a great college experience, made plenty of friends and dated. I was quite popular so it’s not like I’m still caught up with what happened to me as a 16 years old girl.
So, recently, I caught up with an old high school friend who also happens to be friends with those mean girls. She invited me to get together at her house. She said those girls are also invited. I refused and told my friend that I never want to see those girls.
My friend called me childish and petty. She said that happened so many years ago. Everyone has grown and matured. That I haven’t moved on.
I explained to her that I have moved on but people who wronged me at such a tender age don’t deserve my company.
She said those girls have changed and I’m immature.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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ae4eyo
|
{
"description": "confessing my feelings to another girl while in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I confessed my feelings to another girl while in a relationship.
|
I have been with my girlfriend for a year. I think her and I compatible for each other, yet my family does not believe we are fit for each other. Before I was with my girlfriend, I showed interest in a girl I used to work with (🍑.) Today I drunkenly decided to confess my emotions to my coworker. My coworker basically forced me to chose between my girlfriend or her. I chose my coworker. AITA ( Let it be known I truly believe that my coworker could be the one for me and I’m having doubts with my current girlfriend.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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WRONG
|
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|
aty18a
|
{
"description": "asking my gf to buy her own food",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my gf to buy her own food?
|
This is kinda petty, but money is tight enough that it does make a difference.
Gf and I live together. Except for rent we split everything 50/50. We both work retail so we don’t make a lot of money. We have been splitting groceries 50/50 as well.
My problem with it is two fold. 1st. When I work I don’t pack my lunch/dinner. I tried for a while, but having that break/s with my work friends at a fast food place is nice. I enjoy the time. Also Nothing I or the gf made tasted anywhere near as good as fast food. I think I have a trashy palette or something. So 1-2 meals a day I am eating out instead of groceries.
2nd is that my gf refuses to shop at Save A Lot or Aldis. She buys a lot of Whole Foods and Wegmans. She says it’s just much better quality. She’s not wrong, but for me the quality is not worth the mark up in price.
She’s pretty sensitive about her weight. I have no idea how to bring this up without it sounding like I’m saying something else. I’m really not though. I just want that extra money I would save if we bought our own groceries.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
|
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RIGHT
|
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|
ass7eb
|
{
"description": "buying a car my sister in law was interested in",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for buying a car my sister in law was interested in
|
Okay my wife and I currently own 1 vehicle but both need one in order to get to work. For a while we only needed one as I was working from home but that changed late last year. We have been borrowing a truck from my father in law for the past few months but that is only a temporary solution and he told us in January that we needed to start saving for a vehicle. He gave us 6 months of use of his truck and then he is going to need it back.
About a month ago, my father in law approached us and told us that he had found a car that he felt we should purchase. Its a 2004 Cadillac DTS with 88,000 miles on it. Its not currently running as it has a blown head gasket, that we know of, but my father in law can fix that. He's worked on cars his whole life and is not worried about the repairs, but there will be additional cost to get the vehicle in working order. At the time my wife and I didn't really have the money to purchase a car, especially when there were potential unknown costs to fix it. We both were also imagining an old boat with a bench seat in the front and the ability to fit a smart car in the trunk. Not something either of us wanted. So we said no, but he went ahead and purchased the car for $600.
My sister in law and her boyfriend have been living with my wife and I for the past few months because they were unable to afford moving into a new apartment when their lease ended at the end of last year. They have two cars, her Prius which is newer but has quite a few miles on it, and a POS Honda Accord coupe that he purchased a while back. When I say POS, I mean it. The entire roof is falling apart on the car. It leaks when it rains, etc. There are definitely issues. Last month when she heard that my wife and I didn't want to buy the car, she decided that she wanted it to replace the accord that she drives. She called her dad and told him she wanted the car.
My wife and I recently found out that I am going to be getting an extra paycheck next month which is significant as I get paid monthly and this would allow us to go buy a $2000-3000 car without much issue. This past weekend my wife and I went out to visit my in-laws and my father in law told us to take a look at the car. Turns out it is much nicer than we originally thought and something that we probably should take advantage of.
When we told my sister in law, she lost it. Balling hysterically, stormed off, and hasn't spoken to us since. That was on Sunday. Admittedly, my wife and I do feel guilty for originally saying that we didn't want to purchase it, but I also feel that we need a second car and they do not. We can afford to purchase a car, they can not. They cant even afford to get an apartment on their own and my sister in law has no means of paying for the vehicle.
​
Are we the assholes?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "snapping at someone for sending me snapchats of their turds around mealtimes",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for snapping at someone for sending me snapchats of their turds around mealtimes?
|
A person I went to school with semi frequently sent me snaps of their turds which I found annoying at not nearly as amusing. I told that person to not do that anymore as a few times they were right before a meal. They did it again today and I was much more harsh about it, telling them to fuck off with that. Am I the asshole? Am I wrong for not finding it that funny?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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bt6HwdCQDAja40VsLcy1z1rN6LbXsWy0
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agqt32
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{
"description": "cussing out my Gym staff over the phone",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cussing out my Gym staff over the phone?
|
So for context I applied for a janitorial position at an LA fitness in my city and I got the job and went in for training yesterday and everything went well and they said they would send me an email and I would have to watch it on my computer at home and then come in today at 3pm to sign my w2 and other papers. I get the Number of the janitor who trained me and I text him “hey BROTHER, this is D I just wanted to let you know this is my number if you need anything you can contact me here. So today I received a call from the Janitor who trained me and I pick up and he is all like “hello?, who is this? “ and I am like this is D” and he is like “d who ?” And I am like D the new Janitor and also I did not get the email to watch the video to become an employee so if you can relay that to the lady that would be great” and he tells her and she gives him attitude and starts saying shit which is false like “ I just called D yesterday and he told me he received the email and saw the video what is he talking about how do I have his number if he did not get the email to become an employee” and then the Janitor says “ yeah D how does she have your number if you didn’t do the email to become an employee?” And I say “I have no idea but I am positive I did not call her as I did not have my phone at the time so she probably got my phone from somewhere else” and the Janitor says “okay bye” and hangs up.... then I text him “can you tell her to send me the email again at •insert my email• thank you L appreciate it . That is when I get a call from the LA fitness from my city and I pick up and it is the lady and she says this shit “ Hey D this is blah blah I just wanted to say that first off you must apply to the gym online (note which I already fucking did and told her to check on indeed) and then after you apply which I told you to do on the phone with L idk why you didn’t you will receive an email and then complete it then come in at 3 like we had said yesterday , oh and another thing, don’t disrespect L like that ever again by calling him bro or dude or mate or whatever it was you called him as that is very disrespectful, from now on you as a person will refer to him as sir or Mr. L got that? I said Do you understand (yelling at me I said yes) ok great and anyone you ever communicate with over here you will talk to as sir or miss and since you’re Hispanic you probably speak Spanish so whatever it is in your language senira or senir (note this is her completely fucking butchering my fucking language trying to pronounce sir and mam) and then she hangs up. I call back the number pissed off and say I do not want the Janitor job and that I was talking to the lady and she was being rude as hell and she can go fuck herself and that L can go fuck himself too. So askreddit... I know this was long, I appreciate you for staying with me this long and reading this, but was I wrong in any of this? Did I over react?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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a7jqao
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{
"description": "calling the cops on a homeless man",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling the cops on a homeless man?
|
First post here...and before I begin the full story let me begin by saying that I only had the best intentions by calling the police on this guy.
It was around 10:30 PM two nights ago and I was leaving my girlfriend's apartment that is right by a trolley station. The apartment complex she lives in is actually quite nice, with many nice residents and a pretty decent staff that keeps the place in order. However, there is one side exit right by the trolley station that is hidden from street view so it naturally attracts some seedier attention late at night. There have been multiple occasions when I am on my phone and am not paying attention and start walking up the steps to someone passed out in their own vomit or shooting up. If that happens I usually just walk around to the front of the building and have her let me in there, which is a lot farther from her apartment and the guest parking lot but the safer thing to do. However this situation was a little bit different.
As I was leaving her apartment instead of arriving, I had to exit through this doorway which opens out into the alleyway. I pushed it pretty hard, and immediately was met with a strange amount of resistance and heard a large bang. I tried opening it again but it was being pushed closed from the outside, and that was when I realized that there was a man on the ground holding his head with one hand and trying to grab at me with the other. I just stared at him for a second and then slammed the door shut. He appeared to be visibly intoxicated and was yelling and cursing which I could hear from my girlfriend's apartment that I retreated to.
​
I felt really bad about the whole situation because I could have really hurt that dude by slamming a door into his head. However, I also kind of think it was his fault for passing out on whatever he was on in front of a doorway that is actually frequented by a lot of the residents. Its not unreasonable to think that if I didn't open the door into him someone else would have eventually.
Before I left through the front I decided to call the police non-emergency line. I didn't really have an issue with the guy being there but I was legitimately concerned for this guy's well being after having a heavy metal door slammed into his skull. I didn't stick around to see what anyone did for this guy, but my girlfriend said he was still there laying down muttering 15 minutes after I left when she went to bed. So guys... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a9192n
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{
"description": "asking my brother not to be mean to my dog",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my brother not to be mean to my dog?
|
I'm home for the holidays and I brought my two 7yo Pointer mixes home with me, my boy and my girl. Now like any decent dog owner, I love my dogs and treat them like my children. My brother loves dogs too, but has none of his own. He dotes all over my female dog, giving her treats and pets and all kinds of love. But my male dog is treated much worse. He will push him off the couch and call him "dumbass", makes constant remarks about him being "mentally disabled" and just be straight up mean to him. He never yells at him or actually hits him or kicks him, but it makes me so upset when he plays favorites with my dogs, especially since my sweet boy is such a lovebug and wouldn't hurt a fly.
I asked my brother to stop and he just argues that my boy can't understand English and isn't bothered by his bullying. Am I being over sensitive?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
Xm1qvOtaSlMM5lqIhElvAuH53IRgmUGd
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b7g41w
|
{
"description": "suggesting my sister needn't share explicit sexual stories with me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for suggesting my sister needn't share explicit sexual stories with me?
|
My sister, who lives across the country, is great and awesome and we have a great relationship. However, sometimes when she's venting over email about relationships to me she shares some sexual details that are just a little more than I really want to imagine about my sister's sex life. I'm here for her no matter what, so if she needs my advice about something serious I'm always here for her, but I don't necessarily need explicit sexual details about current relationships. So I told her that, essentially: "feel free to leave out the gory details if you want".
She seemed to get embarrassed, which I guess I can understand. She hasn't said much about it since then but also hasn't really written much either and I'm wondering if I broke a trust with her, in some sense? Maybe she felt comfortable enough telling me these things and now doesn't. I'm not sure how many other people she's on such frank terms with; maybe she doesn't have many people she feels comfortable talking to. Am I The Asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
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|
ac9arx
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to figure it out",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling my girlfriend to figure it out
|
Ill try to keep it short. My girlfriend has qanted a Cricut crafting machone for awhile so I surprised her with one for Christmas. Ive helped her figure out a lot with the machine simply by reading and following the directions. She just handed me materials and instructions and asked me to do it for her because shes messed it up twice already because as she said "im not following the directions". She wants to start a business selling these crafts and I feel like ahe keepa wanting to get me do the work. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
M60N5yeDsZFAixxbicsozITNY7Zj8pYU
|
a3xtrp
|
{
"description": "being happy that she had to cancel our dinner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being happy that she had to cancel our dinner?
|
So this girl that I've been flirting with and I were supposed to go to dinner yesterday. Last minute she had to cancel because she was sick. Anyway, she was really, really upset that she couldn't make it and apologized several times and tried to get me to go eat with her sunday, but I just gave her one-word replies. I did throw it out there that I'm home alone the next 2 weeks, but I'm not really gonna follow up on that to be honest. Anyway, I was actually pretty happy that she had to cancel, which meant I could go drinking with my friends.
I'm not gonna do anything with her, at least in the near future, since I'm not interested in a relationship, and she seems like the jealous type, and honestly, I kind of stopped being attracted to her last month. Anyway is it a dick move to be happy that she cancelled, and then kind of ignore her attempts to set up another date so I can drink with my buddies?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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os7vaw8j1k5t5SborerXTteBYVPDGpTC
|
ax0eou
|
{
"description": "pushing a mentally disabled child in self defense",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for pushing a mentally disabled child in self defense?
|
So I wasn’t defending myself, it was my dog. I was walking my young cavachon and we had stopped in a park to rest. He was still attached to the lead, and there was no signs forbidding dogs coming into the park. A severely mentally disabled child approaches me and reaches towards my dog. My dog is not good with strangers (only men for some reason, god knows why) and he jumps back. I start looking around for the kids mom but there’s about 50 different white women and I have no idea who to look for, so I take my dog and sit at another bench. The child follows, and I’m beginning to get annoyed so I decide to leave. He then suddenly pets my dog from behind which spooked both me and my dog. Eventually, he started squeezing him and my dog started yelping. In fear for my dogs safety and the kids (in case he tried to bite) I pushed him, unsure of what else to do. He fell back (not my intention) and bursts into a fit of tears. His mother appears out of nowhere and starts inspecting him and holding him. I get dirty looks from all angles. I know the kid had no idea what he was doing, but I still feel I had to stop him before the situation escalated. Am I the asshole?
TL;DR I pushed a disabled kid who was hurting my dog (unintentionally) and he fell and cried.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
e7lbxIcX0fXOpj6fX8rHNaIxaAeLzP5o
|
9y7ecu
|
{
"description": "accidentally leading someone on and then telling them I'm not really available",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for accidentally leading someone on and then telling them I’m not really available?
|
For context, I went on one date with this person, had a great time, and said I’d love to see them again (which is true). But life got in the way and it’s now a week and a half later and I texted them just saying I’m not really in a place where I can be emotionally available to date. Im dealing with some things from a sexual assault (forms for criminal justice tribunal stuff) that’s bringing stuff, that I had thought was dealt and done with, up. I told him all of this, but I feel pretty horrible. I never meant to lead him on or anything, and said as much, I just wasn’t really aware of how much this was fucking me up until now.
He said it kind of felt like I had lead him on, even though he knows I didn’t do it on purpose. I mean, from the beginning, I told him I have a lot going on, and I just. I’m so mad at myself. I just can’t really be there for someone else in a romantic sense right now. Am I an asshole? How do I make it up, if so?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
au173u
|
{
"description": "getting pissed at my so watching porn",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 28
}
|
AITA: For getting pissed at my SO watching porn?
|
First, sorry for the wall of text there’s a TL;DR at the end
(FYI: I personally DON’T like porn for ME, I can’t get off from it.)
So me and my SO just got into an argument where I absolutely lost my shit.
For starters, we have had multiple fights in the past about his lack of communication / lying habits.
This fight in particular started because my SO was watching porn and masturbating, in the bed with me while I slept... I initially thought he was looking at my nudes and got turned on and we ended up having sex. Afterwards, he asks to shower. I showered last night so declined and just went back in bed after cleaning up. I was curious as to what nudes in particular he was looking at, so I opened his phone and found the porn. I was a bit sad, ngl I felt like I wasn’t good enough because I was RIGHT there and he has so many of my nudes... I was just shocked.
When he gets back into bed I simply ask him what he was looking at.
(a little while back, I bought a dildo and wanted to start using it - his response was “what’s the difference between that dildo and another dudes dick” / “you have me, you don’t need the dildo” so I was curious to see what the fuck his excuse was for watching porn if I’m “right here” )
He ignores the question and just says “reddit”, then I ask “why were you touching yourself then?” And he lies to my face and says “no, I was just touching my balls I wasn’t masturbating” (I KNOW he was masturbating, I’ve been with this dude for 3ish years..)
After a while I keep asking and he finally admits to watching porn. I ask, “why didn’t you tell me in the first place? Why’d you lie?”and his response is “I was embarrassed.” I get it, I do, but he still lied...
I then ask him what the difference between me using a dildo and him watching porn and fantasying TO the porn: “the dildo is a physical object, porn is not.”
I’m honestly pretty pissed he’s able to go ahead and say “no I don’t like the dildo, it’s basically cheating” and further discourage me from using it, to him just watching porn and masturbating? He also said that it was a “substitute” for having sex with me?! But, I can’t have one?!
I brought that up and he said “Nono I never said you COULDN’T use it, I said I didn’t like it” (oh yeah, so telling me it’s basically cheating is really going to make me feel great about using the dildo).
I generally wouldn’t care if he watched porn IF he wouldn’t put me down for using a dildo?? Is it just me, or is he a hypocrite?
Sorry for the long post, wanted to get as much info in here, but finally I just want to ask: Am I The Asshole here?
TD;LR : my SO hated the idea of me using a dildo, told me it was “basically cheating” because he’s “right here”, then goes on to watch porn in our bed right next to me and expects me to be a-okay with it.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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AGh6IbdGOnYu4S35SYZPssQG4ndZMttw
|
b5yp77
|
{
"description": "being annoyed after not picking sides and losing a friend over it",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being annoyed after not picking sides and losing a friend over it.
|
So basically, I have a group of 6 friends (well now 5 really, 2F and 3M). Anyway, one of them (call them A) was seeing this girl very casually, this girl has a boyfriend. This girl, is pretty crazy, they would fall out, start talking again, meet up, etc. every few weeks. This went on for about 3 months. Personally, I felt bad for her boyfriend. A would tell us about how mad she would get at him over tiny things, she seemed bipolar or just really confused with what she wanted.
Now my other friend, (let's call him B), is somebody who was included in our group, we all find him cool, however he wasn't as involved in terms of clubbing, going to the beach with us, etc. I was the one who introduced him. Anyway, so from experience, B is pretty bad at keeping stuff private, not secrets, but he will ask really personal or weird questions when we're out, not to me, but to any of his friends, or with us or whatever. Or he'll tell private stories about other people. However, over the past few months, B has become less and less involved with us, we always invite him, but he either wouldn't be around, or wouldn't respond.
But anyway, B ends up meeting the girl in a bar. B is his friend, who really doesn't like A (let's call her C). So anyway, they end up all having a few drinks, and going their separate ways that night. B tells us he met her with C.
The next day, the girl starts texting A, that she's "gladly she knows what A thinks of her", that he calls her a psycho to us and stuff, and that he's ready to break it off at any moment, etc. Now, he had called her crazy in our group chat, and that he was so confused what to do with her, but didn't say he'd break up with her, because to him, they weren't dating.
So A texts B and asks what was B saying to her. B says that they never said anything to her, and that it was only C who was telling her all of this. C is not in our friends circle, so wouldn't really ever hear this if it weren't for B telling her. So A is annoyed with B and C for this. A tells B that he's sick of him not bothering to hang out with us and tells him pretty much to fuck off. B is adamant, that he never said a word, and it was all his friend C.
Now, I didn't want to pick a side. IMO, it was B and C both saying telling the girl these things. C because they don't like A, and B because he some times just is a big gossiper. A, and the rest of the group, are done with B, they were getting distant with him before, and this is the straw that broke the camels back. B was kinda upset and frustrated A wouldn't believe him. I told B, I didn't want to pick sides and I would stay friends with him.
However since then, he never texts me anymore asking to hangout. We would usually talk every day or two, and he would constantly ask me to go drinking with him and his friends, but now nothing. The last time we met (after this) we were fine. I'm kinda resenting him now.
AITA for being annoyed that he's basically stop talking to me?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
aZ6lZNaVzxHXSyIMvs5byrrit2gykN8e
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9w65wn
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my sister for (somewhat directly) causing my puppy to pee on the floor",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my sister for (somewhat directly) causing my puppy to pee on the floor?
|
We have two very young puppies who are not yet potty trained. We are reaching them to go outside by picking up every morning and immediately bringing them outside. They always go to the bathroom as soon as they are let out of the room where we keep them at night, so this is pretty effective. I told her that she couldn’t put the dog down for a second because he will pee on the floor. I brought my dog outside and he went to the bathroom as expected, but I turned around and she had put the dog down (inside) and he peed on the floor. She said that she had to put the dog down because she wanted to “put on her coat” instead of simply admitting that she made a mistake. She kept coming up with excuses instead of just a little “my bad”.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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WRONG
|
v6Pn52GnynVlYCC31gM8SKAwm6Dcp8IP
|
atji1o
|
{
"description": "confronting my SO's friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for confronting my SO's friend?
|
Context for later: my SO's friend got into a car accident 2 weeks ago, in which she collided head-on with a tree because she was on her phone. This is important for later.
​
My SO goes to college, and carpools with a friend. Their school is quite far (45 min. on a good day) so they carpool. I sometimes go and pick up my SO if need be, or if we have plans later. The days I go pick her up ends up being me out of the house from around 2 in the afternoon to 7 or 8,
Here's the issue. My SO's friend is usually good when it comes to driving her back home, but the times she doesn't are always due to rather petty things and very short notice. Sometimes she'll leave early and tell my SO at the last second, forcing me to ditch the time I had for schoolwork and fucking up my schedule as well as my SO's.
Then there's today. I've been working on an important project for one of my classes, and my SO texts me that her friend can't take her home because she's doing her mother's hair at noon, when both their classes end around 4. This pissed me off because they had agreed to carpooling way before that, as well as to take my SO to a nail appointment after school, and they wouldn't reasonably be home until about 9.
I don't get mad at things like this. I try to use reason and see everything from both sides. I told her friend that while I know it's hard to say "no" to a parent, it seems to be inconsiderate to change plans with my SO at the last second, making me abandon my schoolwork while jeopardizing my SO's plans in the afternoon. She then told me that I have no right to get mad (which I wasn't), I occasionally pick her up from school anyways, and that her mom comes first. Then I told her that I agree family does come first in many cases, but doing her mom's hair isn't as pressing as going through with taking someone home, especially when that agreement came first." This caused her to tell me that "things come up" which causes plans to change. I told her that her argument would be valid for an actual emergency, but that I thought leaving my SO without a ride and forcing me to put my schoolwork on hold for the entire day was a bit rude (especially when this is far from the first time), and that I felt her mom's hair wasn't the highest priority compared to a deal she made first.
Then, she told me she wasn't gonna waste her time arguing with me, and that she wasn't gonna sit there and argue when "I know that to me, I'm right". I felt I hadn't said anything to warrant that, which pissed me off. I told her "Logic and reasoning don't matter when your feelings keep you sure in yourself" and then "remember next time you're driving that your main priority is not hitting trees and staying on the road, maybe that'll help you keep your priorities straight." Then she called me a dick, and the conversation ended. She's been doing this to my SO many times, and I felt like today was when I had to speak up. Was ITA, guys?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
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|
b0r1wc
|
{
"description": "reporting someone at the gym ? me him",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting someone at the gym ? Me (21F) him (26M)
|
Just for clarification I am completely new to reddit and just lurk scrolling through posts, so bare with me while I explain. But this recently happened and I need to know if I am the one in the wrong!
I recently started going to a new gym that is super close to my house and started making some friends - keeps me motivated! Less then a week ago a random guy came up to me and was sparking up a conversation, I didn't think anything of it and tossed him my number. (Important to note I am a 6pm gym goer and pretty much eat / go straight to bed after) Once I was done, I went home - ate and passed out, when I woke up I had 7 missed messages from this guy!
Lets call him T, they consisted of him (M26) explaining he's a nerd, was bullied in school and never approaches girls then how I must be "one of those" that just ghost people and got his hopes up. I didn't respond since it was kind of creepy and weird, also rude!
NEXT DAY
Im at the gym doing my thing and notice he sat at the leg press next to me, I smile & nod and just keep doing my workout. He then PULLS MY HEADPHONE OUT and told me I could have the decency to acknowledge him. I told him that it was weird and uncalled for with all the messages, however I picked up my pride and apologized for not letting him know I went to bed. FLASH FORWARD to that night, he spams me - again. This time with sexual messages about my body. Now Im creeped out, because its not just compliments - its lengthy detailed fantasies, I never respond and block him.
NEXT DAY
He follows me around the gym, not saying anything but always standing a good couple feet behind me. I waved and acknowledged him but he never said anything. Weird.
THIS IS WHEN SHIT GETS CREEPY - Two girls come up behind me and let me know hes been taking snapchat videos of me, and they saw him doing it. They explain he was creeping on them not more than a month ago and told the front desk.
We all decided to go report him to the gym and they take action to ban him for harassment.... where we in the wrong? took it too far? I feel odly bad because he was bullied but THIS IS CREEPY, right?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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au292i
|
{
"description": "not understanding why my friend group is suddenly cold-shouldering me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not understanding why my friend group is suddenly cold-shouldering me?
|
I've been close friends with the same group since freshman year of high school. That was almost 8 years ago, and we've all remained fairly tight, and maintain a group chat.
I'm widely-known for being politically passionate (the details of which I will not mention, as I don't want this thread to devolve into a political debate), and my friends have known this of me for years. They don't exactly agree with my politics, but it's never been a problem. Up until now.
I was doing one of my rants in the group chat, when one of the members (we'll call him K) suggested that what we [as a society] need is more dialogue. I said that I am clearly open to dialogue, as I am responding to their points and listening to their views. K responded by saying I "barely have a dialogue with them as is," and that I'm "always on my phone around them and not participating" (a charge that I've verified with other friends is not true of me). Another group member (lets call him J) seconded this, and said that he and K had spoken about this separately and saw it as a problem. I took their words into consideration but brushed it off, as I thought it was just a way to shut me up.
J and I are best friends, and he is also my manager at work. We've always gotten along incredibly well, but recently at work he's made underhanded comments towards me like "lol you're broke as fuck" and "for someone who proclaims to be open-minded, you sure are closed-minded. [Another friend, we'll call him L] told me so the other day."
After he left work, I texted him (J) and asked why everyone seems to be taking jabs at me and excluding me from functions. His response read "Its not like something snapped. We dont hate you or anything. Nothing like that. But i think its one of those, look at your friends, and ill tell you who you are sort of deals. Im not saying i dont want to associate with you any more, but some tendencies youve displayed in the past months, or years, are adding up for me personally as someone i may not want to surround myself with."
When asked to elaborate on these "tendencies," he focused on my political views and mentioned a few events in the past year (kicking bad roommates out, breaking up with past girlfriends) that didn't sit well with him or the group.
AITA for not understanding why this all happened within a week and why I'm the punching bag all of a sudden?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
sdzVJVnGiOnBNK1gX2r0J74lrePNLVMP
|
b7fb7t
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help someone out of a situation he put us in",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to help someone out of a situation he put us in?
|
My “friend” works at target (he came to my house twice now, drank, didn’t put in any money, and left early without saying anything to me so we weren’t on the best terms) and he texted me saying,
“hey, i’m sorry about leaving early, that was a dick move on my part i was just tired and didn’t realize how rude it was in the moment”
he’s not one to apologize so i appreciated it and told him it was okay. He then texted me saying,
“I’ll make it up to you, come up to target and buy the neon Switch Controllers and i can get you them for $20, all i ask is i buy 1 off of you when i’m off”
I thought, a $10 switch controller when they usually cost almost $80 for 2? hell yeah. I didn’t really want the controller that bad but $10 is a deal i couldn’t pass up.
I went up there, grabbed the controllers and came back to his register, he put in some special code and it said “manager approval code needed” and he goes “oh shit” and only took $40 off of the total so it wouldn’t ask it. Honestly if i knew in advance that it would be $20 for 1 controller i probably would’ve stayed home but i was already there so i just bought the one and he said he’d be by around 10:30 to get the controller for $20.
He comes by, drops off the money gets the controller and goes to hang out with his girlfriend who also works at Target.
I do not know what was said between them, but he texts me and says “hey man, i feel really bad. but i’m gonna need the other controller back and also the $20. Apparently target is definitely going to find out, fire me, and possibly get the police involved so i just want to return the controller, pay off the difference and quit so i can get off easy as possible.”
I understand his logic, we did technically steal $40 if you think about it, he wanted his $20 back and to pay another $20 to make up for the amount, but he also wants to take the controllers back? if that’s the case then i have no controllers and am out $40.
I’m usually the type to get walked all over but after the shit he pulled before with the whole drinking situation, only apologizing so i could help get him a cheap controller, and now expecting me to just be okay with losing $40, i was upset.
I told him if he gives back the controllers, i expect my money back (annoyed bc he was very obviously avoiding the topic of paying me back).
OR
he goes in, explains what happens, pays the difference, quits and we at least keep the controllers.
He was about to sleep but sent me one last message,
“I’m gonna go in, explain what happened and pay the difference and WE (as in him and I) will go from there” I said alright and he went to sleep.
If he expects me to help him pay this off, give him his $20 back, or the 1 controller, I’m not doing it unless i know for a fact i will get my money back. (he did mention at 1 point he gets paid in 2 weeks but he’s about to get fired and i’m not sure i can trust him to give me the money). AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
g2R4KsToFNSlMsIrpC0394nuDT3UHg1L
|
a3kz9g
|
{
"description": "being cynical about a former co-worker getting on Ellen",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For being cynical about a former co-worker getting on Ellen?
|
My former co-worker, Ben, got his life goal of getting on Ellen and I'm happy for him. We used to work together at Olive Garden and he always brought a smile to everyone's face, if anyone deserves some recognition it's him. My problem doesn't arise with his success, but with how Ellen uses him. You see, Ben has autism and, of course, that's fine. What i'm not fine with is how it seems Ellen is just using him to make herself look better. She seems kinda impatient with him and like she doesn't want to really be their the whole video. Am I just a cynical asshole or is their some merit to what I'm thinking?
The video: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08pVQ5JeDDA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08pVQ5JeDDA)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Eftnvo7ZzfIUa46qez2lcuk65wc3kNUJ
|
aqcx8w
|
{
"description": "wanting my boyfriend to choose me instead of his job",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting my boyfriend to choose me instead of his job?
|
First, you need to understand the basics. In my country, you have 2 days available for looking and collecting information about the future colleges you are planning to go to. This year those 2 days fall to this Friday and Saturday. I already know I want to study biology, but am deciding on which college to choose from. On Friday I planned visiting a nearby college and on Saturday I will visit the one which is pretty far. Because nobody in my circle of friends don't like biology and my family doesn't have time because they are working, I decided to invite my boyfriend to go with me. He agreed and that was it. Perfect.
But then it wasn't anymore. You see, when he agreed to go with me, he started to look for a job. And on Sunday, he found it. He worked there yesterday and will work tomorrow too, but it's just like a trial run and they will discuss if he will still work there when this week is over. So for now it's still not a very serious job.
The problem starts with today, when he told me he won't be coming with me on Friday because he has to work and his boss probably won't give him a day off. I told him to just ask his boss, that way we will know for sure. He told me that he doesn't want to ask him because he is afraid how the boss will react to that.
Another thing to note, I'm a very anxious person and hate going to crowded places, especially alone. My boyfriend knows that, because we've been together for almost 4 years now.
So, AITA for wanting him to go with me or at least wanting him to ask his boss for a day off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
tNbHgR2jfexUqgevIYNjq51YzdyMRoNe
|
ay4v1t
|
{
"description": "telling my friend her favourite artist was homophobic and now she may be really upset",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA? I told my friend her favourite artist was homophobic and now she may be really upset.
|
I won’t mention the musicians name because I don’t want the fans to focus on the music not on the actual subject. So, my friend has liked this artist for about 6 months now. I’ll admit, they have some good songs. But recently a song came out, and had some pretty homophobic lyrics.
I knew that she really liked this artist, but as I have recently came out to said friend, I was very uncomfortable with these lyrics.
We discussed this lightly, but eventually moved on. We both agreed that the artist was out of line, but overall could probably just say sorry and it’ll all be okay. It didn’t seem like much, until I saw the interview. This particular artist said some VERY problematic statements.
So I went on to my group’s chat and showed them the interview. My friend agreed that it was horrible, and said that they were really upset. Specifically “why does this shit always happen to the artist’s I like, I’m so upset rn.”
I feel like shit, I didn’t mean to upset her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
MdgYYTYBrMGa0OS6mNedHl7qWJDcgK61
|
aiqoti
|
{
"description": "triggering a game of telephone about a friend's film being illegally downloaded",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for triggering a game of telephone about a friend's film being illegally downloaded?
|
A little bit of a game of telephone… so a friend of mine (let’s call him Friend A) recently wrote and directed a feature film. The film is starting to gain momentum. Yay for him!
A mutual friend (let’s call him Friend B) happens to casually browse torrent sites. Over the weekend, he notices Friend A’s film is popular a site he frequents. Friend B tells me this while debating whether or not to tell this information to Friend A himself. I remark that this information is actually kind of flattering, considering it means even more people are watching it… even if they are watching it illegally. Ultimately no hard conclusion is drawn.
I have ANOTHER conversation with ANOTHER mutual friend (this would be Friend C) and I mention what I’d heard from Friend B. Friend C then texts Friend A about his movie being pirated on torrent sites. He mentions that he's heard this information from Friend B. Friend A's response was simply "wow - no way"... So I'm not quite sure how to read that. But Friend B is now upset with me for telling this this Friend C in the first place... and because he didn’t relay the information to Friend A himself.
I guess I didn’t understand how secretive Friend B felt the information was... it seemed pretty trivial to me. Still, Friend B is upset with me because he claims he told me this information in confidence. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
hLxS5upmNUTL56q5hDPoMrIX7Ds7Pn7g
|
azp60z
|
{
"description": "drinking if my bf gets anxious",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For drinking if my bf gets anxious
|
Basically, me and tihs new boy started dating, and I have gotten more into drinking recently then I have in the past. Not addicted in any sense, maybe ill drink one every two weeks at very most, but its still a fun activity for me and my girls to do for fun. My newer boyfriend, around almost a month, has a really rough history in that his father (Who has passed) drank a lot. In response, he gets really stressed or upset whenever I drink. Am I an asshole if I continue doing it NOT A LOT but the same schedule I was? I dont want him to be upset but I want to enjoy the experiences that my friends all are and I enjoy doing. Help!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
iTDl3dlGbhdKjfbZ5xzWcK08jf9WiMTF
|
aqzhiz
|
{
"description": "being butthurt over my Valentine's day gift",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being butthurt over my Valentine's day gift?
|
I'm posting this for my coworker cus she doesn't reddit but she's conflicted as to whether she's right or wrong to be butthurt. I'll tell it from her POV.
For V day my bf of 10 months and I decided to not do anything too big cus money is tight. I made him a big collage of pictures of us and I got him a gift that was personal to him, something I knew he would like and use.
In return he gave me roses (he knows I don't like roses), a teddy bear (he knows I don't care for teddy bears and would've rather have any other stuffed animal), a heart shaped pepperoni pizza (he knows I don't like pepperoni and he ended up eating the pizza).
He asked if I liked the gift and I said yes but I'm sure he could tell I wasn't really into the gifts. He started arguing with me saying that I was being ungrateful and that I knew he didn't have a lot of money to spend on me. The thing is, I wasn't upset about the monetary value. What bothered me was that we've been together for several months and he couldn't at least try to get something that was at least personal to me.
He ended up leaving to hang out with his friends and I left to hang out with my friends. He called me later and I said I was hanging out with my friends and he argued some more with me and said "well where do we stand?" and stuff like that. He said that me being ungrateful for the gift shows that I don't want to be with him. And he hung up on me.
Am I the asshole for not being fake grateful for my V day gift?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
R1FfDUWgKpleRJnUvG8zt0AvWlmxMod4
|
a2v1rp
|
{
"description": "not speaking with my father",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not speaking with my father?
|
He called my girlfriend a terrorist right to her fucking face because half of her family is of eastern descent.
I told him to have a good life and my whole family is mad at ME for being selfish and not "mentioning it sooner"
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
A05GxIxBxZYHm0w4uC6WzbMiM1r8EO7H
|
amiwh2
|
{
"description": "not telling my roommate that me & our third roommate were moving out until the day we were moving",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not telling my roommate that me & our third roommate were moving out until the day we were moving?
|
So obviously it sounds really bad just from the title, but there’s a bit more that goes into it. This is also a throwaway, although the names aren’t the same, they’re significant.
I know that what we did was shitty, but i’m going to explain some of the bs that went into this before we finally caved.
TL;DR at bottom
I met “the other roommate”, we’ll call her Cori, last year, she started dating my best friend, we’ll call him Mitchell, in college, and he introduced me to her. For a while everything was cool, & then one day she asked me if i wanted to live with her next year. At the time, i was still 17 because i’d graduated high school early & she was 20, so i thought it was a little strange, but i figured why not? Ya know? Mitchell would be there & id have someone there to kinda help me out.
Flash forward to summer, Cori lives 2 hours away from where Mitchell & i live. He starts making trips out there and then being basically forced “or so he said” by her to stay. I don’t care, i have other friends. Every time he does manage to come home, we get together & he talks mad shit about the kinda person she is etc. says he wants to break up, you get it.
He breaks up with her for about a day, they immediately get back together. Flash forward to school starting, i meet our third roommate, call her Haley, Cori’s best friend, & i’m kinda shy so we didn’t become friend for awhile.
During this beginning period of school, Mitchell gets pissed, breaks up with Cori, and then they get back together in about a week. This goes on for a couple weeks, & he tells me that they’re broken up, but it’s cordial so he can still come hang out with me, he does, & almost every time Cori would say some cryptic bull about “needing to talk to him” in her room, & they do that for 30 min- to an hour & he tells me it’s nothing, but i’m not stupid, i know they’re having sex.
Finally they come back out as dating. Now here’s where the main conflict starts, i found out later on that Cori used to go over to his house when they were “broken up” & tell him that she was going to kill herself, that he’s the reason she’s not eating, & all this other stuff. She gets even more manipulative & controlling, & Mitchell starts staying & basically living at this house that the 3 of us are splitting evenly in rent & utilities.
During this kinda in between period, like september to october, she’s picking fights with me over him, saying rude comments, and generally just making me afraid to leave my room, (i actually stayed in my room for a full 36 hours at one point) and just forcing him to kinda put me out of his life. This was when Haley & i became friends, along with her finding out from tons of mutual friends that Cori had been telling everyone that Haley was a slut etc., i got so angry one day that i threw all of Cori’s chairs into our backyard, put them back, then went to my room & punched a hole in my door. I thought I’d broken my hand, Haley took me to the hospital, bam friendship was born.
Things were iffy for awhile, just general bs. Haley would say she didn’t want Mitchell at our house, Mitchell is literally living at our house. We’d have a fight, they’d stay at his place for a week or so, but they were always back. Plus, Haley & i keep the house clean when it’s just us, but Mitchell & Cori are slobs, shit everywhere. Then Mitchell & i started fighting, around Thanksgiving it gets really bad, i say i don’t want him in my home, Haley doesn’t want him in our home, & i want his shit gone.
They leave to his house for a week. Mitchell & i are no longer friends. Next week they’re back, living at our home, Mitchell, at our home. Haley & i decide to move out. Mitchell’s & my mutual friend, decided to move in with us.
Next two months until yesterday we’re busy getting our things in order for our new apartment. We find it & start moving our things a few days ago & yesterday when she saw us draining my waterbed our my window, she came out & started screaming at us.
We took that load of stuff, dropped it off & went back to get more, & they had unplugged the garage door opener, put a handle on the front door (Mitchell had broken it & taken it off with the intention of fixing it a few days ago & then had just left it open) , had locked my bedroom window, & locked the back door. Haley had to crawl in through the doggy door & push the wood cover out of its slides.
While Haley & our mutual friend, let’s call him Dawson, were moving out her wooden headboard, Cori & Mitchell came to the garage door & got into a fight with her where she said it was hers because it was made from materials on her ranch, & Haley said fine, & slammed the thing down on the floor of our garage, stepped on it, then tried to walk back into the house.
Haley is not a huge fighter, but when she gets pissed she sees red, & while she tried to walk in, Cori shouldered her hard, Haley automatically turned & pushed her into my washing machine, and yelled at her. Mitchell has to keep them apart. About 15 minutes after that, there were two cops there, just “making sure it went smoothly.” We weren’t there for that much longer, but the whole time Mitchell and Cori were out sucking up to the policemen.
Found out later that they had already figured out where our new house was, we didn’t want them to know, & had toured it apparently. They’re psychos. Just want to know if AITA or not. Sorry for long text.
TL;DR: have a shitty roommate, her shitty boyfriend lived with us despite us not wanting him there, psychological/emotional abuse, didn’t tell her we were moving until the day we were leaving.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
5xWtAjELcqz1wRHugpQoG6wQ0msHxxXf
|
b192qn
|
{
"description": "not helping my friend with PTSD",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping my friend with PTSD?
|
Some context, I’m an 18 year old high school student and the friend in this post is a 17 year old student.
My friend, we’ll call her Thanos, has had a really fucked up life. She dated this guy last year who was abusive, manipulative, and just overall the worst person. Because of him, she got many complications concerning her mental health. Thanos’ depression got worse because of him, she has trust issues, she can’t keep relationships, and on top of that, she has PTSD because of it. It’s really saddening and gets me so angry because that bastard put her through all that.
A few days ago we went to the mall to hang out and she said she hadn’t been to that specific mall since she went on a date with her ex. No problem, it’ll get tough for her but I’ll get her through anything if she feels uncomfortable.
Around the time we start to leave to catch the bus to leave the mall, she tells me she might have a panic attack because she’s remembering the memories with her ex at various places in the mall. I tell her what I’d like to hear myself if I was in that situation. I tell her “breathe Thanos, it’s all in the past. He can’t hurt you anymore.” or something along those lines, I can’t remember completely.
She gets really mad and upset and stops talking to me and she leaves because her mom came to pick her up. She texted me today how I never support her or help her get through her PTSD, and what I do tell her is the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to tell someone going through it. She then goes on saying how her feelings don’t matter anyway and how whenever I’m dealing with stuff she helps me, but I don’t help her (which is extremely false, I drop whatever I’m doing whenever she needs comfort or anything).
I’m just a high school senior, not a therapist. I’ve never dealt with any PTSD or helped anyone who has had it. I don’t know what to say to help someone calm down from it.
Am I the asshole for telling Thanos the wrong things and, allegedly, making the situation worse?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
M7TVWWivMEXqL4qzkMFLV5jgoCL5HA0r
|
ao83c9
|
{
"description": "dropping my friend of over 10 years because she wasn't there for me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For dropping my friend of over 10 years because she wasn’t there for me?
|
So I don’t even know if I titled it right. 1st post ever. I know it’s annoying but scrolling through reddit found this sub and felt triggered and wanted to share and find out if I was really the asshole. I’ll try my best. (Sorry if it’s really long).
Background info. On our friend ship: I have known my (ex) Friend (let’s call her, N) for over 10 years. I would do anything for her. Everyone who knew us, knew that if I had a choice between 20min hanging out with N, over a whole day with someone else, I’d pick N. Hands down. she was my sister (basically).
Background info. On N: she was always the girl that guys wanted (she developed early) I didn’t mind, I was happy for her and found it fun to hear about her guy friends and dates. She was never single for more than 2 weeks, from 8th(13) grade til now (23). I liked being by myself m, so I was never fixated on things like that, I just wanted to be happy with what I have. This meaning I rarely went to her to complain about guys and emotional drama outside of family issues.
Fast forward: I am about 22
I had one pretty bad relationship but got out of it. when I realized how bad it really was, We were already 1.5 years into it and I felt that people would judge me for now having feelings for this guy who wasn’t shit (me 21 at the time, him 26 and he needed my help to pay rent and I nearly went broke and lost my own place in the process, also he was on drugs, I know -_-) so I didn’t tell anyone and it took me 6mo to get out of the relationship I was broken and a shell of who I used to be. I tried to vent to N but she was always talking about her family issues and complaining about things (that she could have easily fixed) so I didn’t want to bother her and I just listened and supported her when she needed it. (Thinking my dumb relationship wasn’t as important as her sister getting remarried)
About a year later, N ends things with the guy she was dating/sleeping with (guy in a relationship and living with the mother of his 3 kids, she was a side piece) A month later, she “falls in love” she is now 21 and he is 28. I begin to feel triggered but say nothing and just provide support.
The BS starts early. He has no car, she does. After a month she has to *ask him* to use her car some days. He never fills the gas. All the while she is still living away from home, and when she leaves to visit he gives her shit about having a good time with her family and not him. Plus a whole array of other BS that no 21 year old (or any woman) should have to deal with. But I support and try to help her, she calls crying at LEAST every 3 weeks crying her eyes out, all hours of the night, to complain about him. I pick up an listen, trying to help problem-solve, every time. While also sprinkling in “you know you don’t have to put up with this, right” “ you’re awesome and he should see that, if he loves you” “ you sure you guys aren’t moving too fast?” This goes on for about a year.
Then I Went to visit to check up on her because she visits home less and less. That’s when out he is now living with her and doesn’t pay rent. Continues to use her car. Forgets to pick her up from work at 5am (she worked the night shift) leaving her waiting for hours until he wakes up or she decides to call another friend). and blocks her on his social media.
I take her aside and express my concerns, she denies it “it’s not that bad” “there are so many good times though” “ but he’s really sweet” etc. I don’t want to push because I know how it feels to love someone who is literal garbage. And feeling ashamed of your love so you isolate yourself from family and friends( been there done that, didn’t want her to feel the same way I did) I can tell she truly loves this guy and will do anything for him, So I continue my support.
Until.. I find out her neighbors called the police on them because an argument “got out of hand”. This is when I begin telling her she has got to start thinking what’s best for her. At this point the stress of being with him had made her fail 2 semesters of undergrad and extend her stay (and how much debt she has). She also got diagnosed clinically depressed during the 2nd failed semester. It broke my heart.
So around Jan. 2018, 1.5 years into their relationship l, I say “as a friend and as someone who loves you, I think you need to get away from this guy he does nothing for you and stresses you out, just try to go 3-6 months without needing to cry in your car because of this guy.” (because he will refuse to leave HER house after an argument because that’s where his ps3 is) she says okay, no problem, their love is getting better and stronger they can do this.
I don’t hear from her until April. She is finally graduating and has a job and isn’t worrying about anything except him.
(Around that time I am starting grad school and super stressed, don’t feel like I am smart enough *insecurities blah blah*. My debt is getting ridiculous and gives me anxiety. My family life is crazy, one of my grand parents is developing dementia, find out I have a bunch of half siblings. I am further away from home than I have ever been and more shit that has me crying all the time)
In April she complains about him wasting his time trying to be a rapper -_- and I’m fed up. No energy to deal with this almost 2 year problem. I tell her straight up this is ridiculous and she doesn’t deserve all this at such a young age. He is in no way shape or form worth it.
In the same breathe I tell her how I had been feeling and worrying and what not and how I just wanted her to talk to me more to get some sort of feel of home and support from the only person I can call a sister.
She ignores me for months. While posting on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat every week. I text/call her, Dm, and Snapchat her but get left on read. I am once again broken, I feel abandoned. I get angry thinking about all the years I was there for her with out asking for anything in return.
She then sends me this obligatory birthday message (on snap chat, not even a text or a call) as if I haven’t been sending her messages for months. In anger and not wanting to ruin my birthday with an argument I write “K”
A couple days later she asks “are we still friends”
I basically say yes but I feel like we aren’t best friends anymore and tell her why I feel that way. She gets PISSED. Says I shamed her relationship and never supported her for like our whole friendship and that she was there for me in my “depressed stage” in April. And a whole lot of other stuff trying to make me feel bad and bashing me as a friend.
And ends with “if we can’t be best friends then we can’t be friends at all”
I am completely over it and refuse to bash her the way she did me and just say “ok” and never spoke to her again (not like she has ever messaged me).
One mutual friend says she doesn’t even care and I’m better off. And another says I should have given her a chance. And I would have had she not bashed me like I was a horrible friend from the beginning.
Sometimes I feel guilty when my new friends talk about maids of honors and I think about how she was always going to be mine but now I have no one that close. And I wonder should I have just been there for her despite everything? I feel like I was right but every now and then I feel bad for the lost friend ship.
AITA for dropping her like that? (Btw thanks if you read the whole thing I appreciate any and all comments if I get any lol)
Idk what TD: LR is but I dropped my friend when I realized It was a one sided friend ship.
(Also she is no longer with him as of Jan. 2019)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
kFX59J8Dx6onZbhjbZ9N1kyYbWBSA16X
|
aheff2
|
{
"description": "getting mad at a women for walking in on me in the bathroom",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for getting mad at a women for walking in on me in the bathroom.
|
Please excuse bad grammar and spelling.
Let me explain: I was at a restaurant last week with my sister. After eating I went to the bathroom (I actually announced that I was going to my bathroom to my sister before I went this will may be important later). Now there appeared to be a young man next to us and I thought nothing on it.
So I went to the bathroom and locked the door. Someone texted me so I pulled out my phone and looked at it. I heard someone come inside and thought nothing of it. Then without any indication my stall door opened. I reached out and placed my hand out and said, "occupied!"
Nothing.
Whoever opened my door left and went to another stall at first I thought it might have been a mistake and went back to my sister but then I noticed that the young man was gone.
I felt enraged and went and told my sister that the young man followed me into the bathroom. A few seconds later the man came out of the bathroom and I sneered at him and he looked shocked.
My sister looked at him and said, "I think that's a girl." I looked back at him and he had boobs.
I was shocked and sat down embarrassed. My sister kept asking me "what happened?" and I told her to drop it.
I told her the story when we left and she said she might have said something if she was a guy. I not trying to discriminate how people dress and she has every right to use the bathroom I do. But part of me was wondering if she just might have been a pervert and stopped when she saw that I had a phone in my hand.
I mean wouldn't she have seen my feet? Did she follow me in and open the door on purpose? I've done stuff like this before on accident and always apologized. I don't even remember her knocking she just opened the door. (Also the lock was broken and I didn't know that. There weren't a lot of people in the restaurant either). Am I overreacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
NqJrqHZ14iuq39rUxRjIahqYgaJNWoTG
|
axe8p1
|
{
"description": "keeping my child",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for keeping my child
|
I'm 15 and me and this one guy had a fling and mistakes were made anyway he ghosted me and now I'm pregnant 6 months I decide to keep my daughter he and his mom think differently I went over to his house to discuss things (he wants no part in her life )witch is fine but his mom said that by keeping the child and not giving it up for adoption I'm ruining her sons life and that he was going places before I showed up and ruined his life mind you that this guy was a mediocre athlete at best with a 2.0 I however do have 4.2 I think and now I have to drop out and get my gedanken so I can be there for my daughter his mom says that I'm a whore who just want to ruin any chance at life he has and when we were talking u did tell him if I got pregnant I would give it up but the minute I saw the first ultra sound I fell in love I really need to know AITA
TLDR: baby daddy's mom said I am ruining her sons life for not giving up my daughter
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
tHbx0fLzl5R7EwXZod3ChjpryyxSpzyO
|
b1t68a
|
{
"description": "not helping a vomiting classmate",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping a vomiting classmate?
|
Last time my class had PE, we were jogging around the school area. A girl and I were running next to each other, with two of my classmates (siblings) slowly walking in front of us. The guy was feeling nauseous from running and ended up throwing up in the bushes.
​
Well, me and this other girl ran past the two of them. My reasoning was that
1. A couple years ago, when I threw up in PE after swimming, I was pretty embarassed and would have preferred if people didn't make a big fuss about it.
2. His sister was already helping him, and our teacher was not far behind us, so it wasn't like he was completely on his own.
3. I didn't feel like I could have done anything to help, even if I had stopped.
But afterwards my best friend (who was also behind me and stopped when she saw the guy throwing up) came up to me and said she couldn't believe that I had just ran past. Her reasoning is that they didn't have tissues or water or anything, and since I speak the local language (which the siblings and the teacher do not), I could have asked someone for stuff like that (this honestly didn't cross my mind at all).
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7u5c926k404uXXS4CnyIcQe8UiYb25Hi
|
a6x2nt
|
{
"description": "spilling my friend's secret",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for spilling my friend's secret?
|
This is currently happening as I type..
I was having a nice night in with a couple of friends that have been off and on dating for awhile now. We were just sitting around and talking and I causally bring up the fact that a guy friend kissed my roommate while, let's call him W, is over. As it turns out, the guy that kissed my roommate has been close friends with W since they were kids. My roommate and W are now fighting and I feel very very bad. I was not aware that this was a secret. I feel like an ass for causing a fight, but at the same time I was not aware that it was meant to be a secret.
I am in desperate need of other ideas, am I the asshole here? I didn't bring it up to cause drama, but I very easily could have not said anything. Very unsure how to feel here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fTz8ED4vdG0aPdM4rXHUbgsZQnvwH0VJ
|
b0esib
|
{
"description": "not wanting to wear sexy outfits in bed",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to wear sexy outfits in bed
|
My bf (37) and I (29) have been dating for 10 years now. We have had our ups and downs, especially in the bedroom, but I've always been up for new things (sex positions, filming, anal and others). We have sex about 2-3 times a week which I think seems reasonable for our conflicting work schedules. Recently he has been bugging me about bringing in a stranger to spice things up and I out right refuse so he rebutes with me buying and wearing sexy outfits. We have done this before where I will buy an outfit and it gets worn once and forgotten because he goes for the heat of the moment sex. So the past few weeks he has been bugging me to buy a new outfit and I won't because I know it will be a waste. So now he calls me a prude or a grandma for not doing this for him. Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Xjqz5NJDFrAc8TurwcxXcyRWel4YxNyq
|
b15iuf
|
{
"description": "not letting my sister wear MY hockey jersey to a game",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't let my sister wear MY hockey jersey to a game?
|
Backstory, 15 years old (had another story posted on here that got voted asshole so thanks for making me see which one I was) sister is planning on watching maple leafs vs Ottawa in Ottawa sometime this weekend with her friends. My favourite player (who I have a jersey for) is Mitch Marner or number 16.
My sisters and her friend are going to see this game and my sisters friend is also a fan of Mitch Marner like me. Now my sister is more of a fan of Austin Matthews (one of our star players) but when she goes to this game, she wants to be matching her friend in supporting Mitch when she doesn't like him (she's neutral on him) so they'll both be wearing Mitch Marner jerseys. I've time and time again said no and keep saying that she's not a fan of him and that taking HER own jersey (that's right she has a Austin Matthews jersey) to Ottawa is an option but she doesn't want to. WIBTA if I didn't let her take it?
I'm not trying to hog it from her, but she has her own jersey for HER favourite player. She wants to wear MY jersey for a player she doesn't even like. WIBTA if I didn't let her take it?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
GfDLc3vo64moL5j6VFASz50YjPWkqhQw
|
an2x5j
|
{
"description": "saying no to helping my so with something that I don't want to do",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for saying no to helping my SO with something that i don't want to do?
|
Me and my SO have been together for almost 3 years and we are very happy together. We usually help eachother with boring everyday things that needs to get done and i am happy with that, but today was a little different.
I feel like she hates doing errands on her own, so for example when she has to pick up a package in the post office, i go with her, even though i have no business in town. I am ok with that (usually its just nice to spend time with her) as long as i get a heads up about it some time in advance. I dont like getting home from university and then she suddently asks me if i can go with her to do something. That happened today and for the first time, i said no.
We both came home from a long day at uni and went straight to the grocery store to buy all the food and everything we need for the week. When we get home i want to sit down by the computer for a while to check my email and then play some videogames. Then she says "oh no, i forgot i have to hand in a book at the library today". She then doesnt even ask but just assumes that i'm willing to take her to the town center so she can hand in the book. I realise its way easier that way, because there are few parking spots in town and it would be easier if i just held the car running while she went in. Its a pretty small favor, but i was looking forward to relaxing a bit. I said that i didnt feel like it and i guess i sounded a bit annoyed to her. She got pretty upset and left by herself. When she left she sarcastically said "thanks for the help".
I feel kinda bad, but i also think that she shouldnt think that i will always go with her in those situations. It's her book, and she knew for months that she had to hand it in. She could have brought it one of all the other times we've been to town, so why do i have to step away from my computer and spend the next hour doing something i dont feel like doing?
I feel like i want us to continue helping eachother with daily errands as it makes it more fun and less boring, but i also want us to be able to say no to helping in some situations without the other getting upset.
This is my first ever post on reddit, so i am kinda terrified, but i hope you can give me good, neutral feedback on this. Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
U4Z5rgQblmAfpqvdWqknRWxi3L5rT2Ji
|
acoe2r
|
{
"description": "trying to inform a girl her boyfriend was messaging me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for trying to inform a girl her boyfriend was messaging me?
|
I’ve been talking to a guy on & off since about March of last year. We were messaging each other on facebook catching up and he was trying to hang out. I asked him if he was still in a relationship (he’d been dating someone for about two months), he said no because he found out she had sex with someone else. I didn’t really believe him so I asked him to prove it. I ended up getting a message from her facebook account stating they weren’t together but she’s gonna ‘stay out of our thing’ and block both of us. I got suspicious because what girl would willingly message another girl to let them know that? Long story short, I figured out I was blocked from her account but he wasn’t. I also found out he was texting me from I assume the burner app, but originally told me he got a new number because he wanted the Galaxy phone. He got caught up when he sent me a screenshot and it was iMessage (our messages were text message but I have an iPhone). So I confronted him about everything because nothing was adding up, then I told him I was going to ask his ‘ex’ myself if she was the one that actually messaged me from her facebook. He immediately blocked me everywhere. I tried to message her on snapchat but got blocked so I assumed it was him that blocked me there too. So I messaged her brother (I didn’t know it was her brother at the time), and he asked for proof. He informed her, then she unblocked me on snapchat. Basically she didn’t believe me when I told her everything, even after I sent her screenshots of the proof because she’s with him ‘every moment of the day and has her fingerprint in his phone, so she’s not getting played.’ What’s wild is I EVEN sent her a screenshot of the message from HER facebook saying they weren’t together, and she still didn’t believe me. All she did was get smart, and stated, “you want to be me so bad.” Then blocked me. Btw they’re still together. I just tried to do what was right since most people wouldn’t, but apparently I’m the bad guy. I have to admit that dude was a pretty good liar. So ima just mind my business next time something like that happens. AITA for even bringing it up and messaging her brother so I could get ahold of her to inform her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
uT9iR4Mcc6zRvhDd3hEIt4ZPl9PyjVf1
|
ah3zhn
| null |
AITA for how I broke up with my boyfriend?
|
I don't want to go into much detail but basically I caught my boyfriend talking to his friends about how much of a whore and freak I was. I confronted him, he apologized but I found him saying the same shit via text the very next week.
So out of anger I redownloaded tinder got a guy to come over, had him take a pic as I was sucking him off. So I sent that picture to him and his friends in a group text with the message, "I'd hate to make a liar out of you, I guess I am a whore. P.S. he is way bigger"
I have spent most of the last couple days in the shower crying but I don't regret it. But am I the asshole for humiliating the guy who humiliated me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 11,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
xqF37Z4gwqIAtu5kNjvwvNK9wcs1CXTs
|
axg2z5
|
{
"description": "putting a bully on the spot to tarnish his reputation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for putting a bully on the spot to tarnish his reputation?
|
To give some background on myself, I am a mid-twenties elementary school teacher and have been at my current school for almost one school year. I moved to this new location for a boyfriend, but that didn’t work out unfortunately. Because of this, my students have become my kids. Might be a bit of an unhealthy attachment, but I feel like they give me purpose.
Had the kids all lined up before going to the cafeteria in the hallway. We were doing our typical name call outs and small games to keep them entertained before leaving. As they were sitting there, the janitor walks by with his cleaning bucket and mop. He is a kind soul. One of the brighter but challenging children, let’s call him Fuck, said that he was retarded or something to that effect and his clique started laughing.
For those of you that are outside of the education environment, bullying is taken very seriously and is dealt with quickly to nip it in the bud. In these types of situations, we are supposed to report the behavior to the school’s principal immediately. However, Fuck is a different breed, as he is constantly making sexist and homophobic comments. Clearly not the best home life. But this level of assholery merited a much greater punishment than a visit to the principle and another useless conversation with parents.
So, I got the kid that has learning differences from our class and set them up as partners, expected destruction to ensue. Of course, Fuck was going to take the bait. As the class activity, I had each of the kids draw pictures of one another. My plan was to have him get in front of the class and publicly humiliate him. As a result, Fuck ended up drawing the learning differences kid as a penis, nothing special here. I have him get in front of the class, question him and he ends up stuttering and gets noticeably nervous. I can't help but feel slightly guilty for this, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
Kumyqe7J06dlxsMwRTUY6RrJW5fAqkT6
|
aqsdn7
|
{
"description": "overreacting and lashing out when my parents are trying to restrict my screen time, even after what has been going on, or is she just using my depression to take away all of",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for overreacting and lashing out when my parents are trying to restrict my screen time, even after what has been going on, or is she just using my depression to take away all of?
|
First of all: Happy valentines day, y'all.
​
Second: I would appreciate the fuck out of you if you took your time to read this, as im so lost and confused. I know it's a long post, but right now reddit is all I have to tell me if im crazy or not.
Before we start, I want to make it clear that I have ADHD and severe anxiety, both of which I take meds for. I also have depression (and i'm not faking it), and I have just started seeing a therapist. I am not having suicidal thoughts, but it is really hard for me to function. If it helps I am 14, very soon to be 15.
​
I went to see a therapist to change up my medication for ADHD So I can focus more during the day and get work done. I also was told that I am showing signs of depression, and a couple days later I really realized this. I was always tired, off task/ had a VERY tough time concentrating (more than how my ADHD usually affects me), I spent most of my time laying down in bed, I stay up late whenever I get the chance and usually don'get enough sleep, And to top it all off i'm veryyyy pessimistic and I have very little self confidence. I'm also insanely introverted, as I would rather play videogames, watch youtube, and be by myself than with other people. I usually socialise a lot at school by cracking shitty jokes that 1% of the time will get a couple laughs, but apart from that or having some conversations with classmates thats about it.
​
About a week or two ago I opened up to my mother that I was feeling really depressed and that I felt that it was affecting my schoolwork, as I had a giant research paper that I couldn't finish, even with an extension, and my grades which were normally in the high b's to mid A's had dropped to c's and B's. I was having fights with my mother who is always saying that I never do enough to help around the house, even though I do many chores when I get home because she tells me to do a fuck ton of stuff when I walk into the door. Then she calls me lazy when she asks me to do something else while i'm playing on my PS4.
Before I opened up to her about my depression, My mother (IMO) gotten irrationally angry one night. I believe it was a half day because we had midterms, so school let out early. The only other midterm I had was Math, which I'm really good at and have studied for. I played for around 3 hours after doing chores, eating, taking care of our dogs, etc. Afterwards, I went and did some more chores, played with our dogs, took a long shower, came back down, had a snack, did more chores, all while my brother was having his turn on the PS4. He finally got off, and my mom said while I was going down to the basement that I haven't doen my homework, which I did. I explained this to her, and she said I hadn't taken a "2 hour break from electronics", Which I also did. She says that I didn't do any of my chores, Which I said that I did the chores she told me to. Now, my mother threatens to turn off the PS4 (she has this bullshit wifi blocker on her phone, such bullshit) because I didn't do enough, so I explain to her that I did, and I was going downstairs to play now. Around 7 minutes later, she turns it off after I was in the middle of a game, and I lost all my progress. I go up to her and ask why she turns it off, and she says "you didn't unload the dishwasher" (which she never explicitly told me to, and it may have not even been my turn to do it but she always tells me to anyway.). I tell her that's unfair because she never told me to, and she says i should've done it even when I wasn't told to, even though she knows I need things told to me because of my short ass attention span. I get really upset, go back downstairs, cool off a tiny bit, and write her a really long text message about how she's abusing her power, I shouldn't have to assume what job I need to do, and how turning it off was a bitch move (didn't say that though) because I did everything she told me to do. We have another conversation, and she says we're goign to try a week without the PS4. If I don't agree, then I lose my phone, PS4, i would be grounded, and proabbly won't see the ps4 ever again, so I have to unfortunately comply. Now, the PS4 is a fucking godsend to me. Its probably the only thing in life that I enjoy. After a long day of bullshit at school, I get to sit my fat ass down and release all my stress, anxiety, and whatever. Its one of the only things that really makes me happy ATM.
​
So, Up to today, things have been hell. My relationship with my parents has been deteriorating, I'm wildly unhappy, And my Mom is on my ass. Throughout the week she has been placing multiple restrictions on my phone, the only other thing I have other than the 1000 year old PC im on typing this. She wants me to do a crushing amount of chores and to not have the phone for 2 hours (basically I get it at 5). Throughout the events of this entire story, my mother has been saying how I'm being useless and lazy, she has been comparing me to my younger brother and how he's so helpful, nice, Not lazy, doesn't argue, etc... and he always takes her side about how im a jerk. I don't think its my fault im not that helpful as I usually spend my afternoons in my bed with a dog, doing as much homework I can concentrate on, and watching youtube on my phone. Sometimes, she really cuts deep and screams at me.
​
Especially fucking today
​
So, last night, I went downstairs at around 9:50 for some lays chips because I was hungry. I stayed up kind of late on my phone, like an average teen. I usually fall asleep with my headphones and my mom berates me for doing that, so i make sure not to tonight. I go to sleep at around 10:45.
​
I wake up at 6:30 to my mom yelling at me to get the hell up, so I get the hell up. She made a list of things I had to do the night before, such as get clothes out for tomorrow, brush teeth, etc. Im not four, these wont be a problem, except for the clothes. I have grown out of my clothes, so for an early birthday present, I asked my mother to take me clothes shopping. Instead she shoves a ton of shitty ass clothes I dont want, walks off, then very soon while im changing asks me to hurry up. Im done with her shit so I just get out and shove some random shorts im not gonna wear towards her. I tell her Im not wearing them, she gets upset, blah blha blah
​
I wake up late at 6:30 because of my mom (which she claims Im ALWAYS late to wake up adn to get to the bus, which is untrue for the most part) and Im having trouble finding clothes. She explodes and goes fucking nuts screaming at the top of her lungs, saying its because of my phone and that its going away for fucking forever. She even tries to grab it but i snatch it back from her and leave after finding some shorts that barely fit. After a shit day, she screams at me first thing when she gets home to bring in groceries and to do a ton of chores. She also demands I put my phone down again. I do chores, I wait until I get to use my phone, I get screamed at some more, and she says she's going to talk about the phone again with my dad (which means mroe restrictions). Side note: My mother usually just tells my dad somethign and he agrees with it, then attacks me constantly for using my phone, he yells at me for "not paying attention", etc. Think rude ass customer but personal so he can be way meaner and poke fun at everything you do. I decide not to have dinner with my family because my mom has made me wick with what she is doing, and I cant stand her. I stay up in my room, just sitting in bed because I lack the motivation to do anything else.
​
she later calls me into her room, and says that my grandmother has bladder cancer. Im fucking crushed. My grandmother is the sweetest person ever, and I would take a bullet for her. I love her and my grandfather to death, and they are some of the best people in my lives. I'm crushed, so to take my mind off it I ask how dinner was. MY mom explains that she was upset I wasn't there and that im always being obstinate, So i explain to her that it's because she's making my life hell by taking away all of my electronics. She then says "I dont want to hear it, im upset enough about my mother" WELL BITCH ME TOO, SHE MEANS MORE TO ME THAN YOU ATM. And especially after sharing this fucking heartbreaking news with me, my mother explains that "because I didnt set my clothes out and didn't wake up on time, I dont get my phone past 8;30", which is 2 hours before I usually go to bed. Im livid, and try to follow her aroudn to talk to her, But she does this thing where she goes "I dont want to talk, if you talk to me you lose your phone." I say to her that im wildly upset at hearing about how my sweet grandmother now has cancer and now she's taking away the last thing I have to make me feel at least a little happy. I try to talk to my mom, and even though she knows im having a really tough time wit hdepression and I explain this to her multiple times, she says" i dont care about how you feel or not, youre lazy and don't deserve this, stop talking to me or you will never get it again". I trusted her with my feelings and she basically threw them on the ground. Im less upset about the phone and more upset becasue I believe shes using my depression as a way to completely restrict all of my electronics, which would make me extremely unhappy
​
after crying, idk what the fuck is hapening anymore, and im ready to give up at this point. So, reddit, AITA and being an overdramatic bitch, or are my parents in the wrong and are making things worse for me?
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HISTORICAL
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b18hod
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{
"description": "wanting a haircut",
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|
AITA for wanting a haircut?
|
Background: I’m an african american girl who is currently in highschool and has social anxiety.
Basically, recently I have been trying to build more confidence and do things I wouldn’t normally do, which included changing my style. My mom, who I would describe as greedy when it comes to money, decided to take me out and allow me to buy clothes, which I was grateful for. Usually she doesn’t allow me to pick out what I like but this time she did without a fuss.
After going shopping and getting home, I began to ask for a haircut, and she instantly got upset . She began to get upset and ask why, say that it was disrespectful, and even brought my dad in to make it into a big debate.
My dad and I agreed that since I am doing good in school and am a good kid, I should be allowed to control what I did to my hair and face (as in makeup) and that she can’t dictate or decide for me, and this seemed to make her really mad. She continues to say I’ll regret it and that I needed to stop talking about it. I asked mg dad what he thought and he said he would take me if I wanted, but she began to get angry at him and they started arguing, so I dropped it and didn’t bring it up for a while.
Fast-forwarding to a couple days ago, she seemed to be in a good mood so I decided to ask her again and she instantly got mad. She began to call me disrespectful and said “You look good with long hair, I wish my hair was as long as yours.” and snapping at me whenever I brought it up. At this point I was over it, and began pointing out reasons I wanted them.
I told her that getting this haircut will make me more confident and happy, and that I wouldn’t be as anxious about how I looked or presented myself with a new hairstyle, but she still wouldn’t let me, saying “You have anxiety and getting a haircut will only draw more attention to you.”
After this I didn’t think I’d get any further, so I dropped it. But later on when I was messing with my hair she began to tell me over and over that I needed to wear my hair natural (my hair is straightened but it’s naturally very curly) and that I was trying to be “white” and hide my culture and heritage. I told her that I’d refuse to do anything else with my hair unless she took me to get it cut, and I kept pointing out and sending her links to every hair salon around us, including the prices, even going as far as telling her I’ll shave it all off if she didn’t take me. I don’t really know if I was just trying to make her mad because she wouldn’t do it or hoping I’d convince her, but she then said as long as I’m under her roof I cannot cut it.
AITA for wanting to cut my hair? I understand she doesn’t want me to regret it or hate it, but I want to try it. Should I drop it?
Sorry if this is a mess, I’m not good at explaining things.
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HISTORICAL
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a73128
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{
"description": "getting mad at my gf for cancelling a vacation",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my gf for cancelling a vacation?
|
My gf started a new job a few months ago. She and I had a bunch of trips planned and booked before this so I told her to tell her new boss about the trips prior to accepting the offer and she said she would. When I asked her if we were all good, she said she had only told them about half the trips because "it was too much." I got mad and said that she needs to tell them about all of the trips and if they can't make it work, then we can talk about cancelling something. She agreed to tell them and said it was all good.
Fast forward to a week ago and I was asking her about what she wanted to do while we're on our Panama trip. She then tells me she can't go. I get really mad because she told me she had told them about the trips prior to starting and evidently it wasn't an issue since she didn't bring it up again. Then she confesses that she didn't tell them about any of the weekend trips because she was embarrassed about how many days she was already taking off and didn't think weekends would be a problem.
As I dig deeper, it turns out they had a meeting to plan the shifts for the week of our Panama trip and since 2 other people said they were gonna be out, she didn't mention anything about our own trip and decided unilaterally that she would just cancel on me.
I am furious right now because she had 3 different chances to tell her boss about the trip(s) and didn't. It's not so much that she "can't" go. It's that she didn't even try/ask her boss, especially after she already told me she did. If she really couldn't go because her boss said so, I would be less mad (still mad because the trips were supposed to be cleared by her boss already). But her boss doesn't even know about this trip she just cancelled on me because she "has to work."
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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0ALrsLlEuorum81fieHhsilU3OtQ7ex8
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aub6s5
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{
"description": "not wanting my my aunt and her husband at my graduation",
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|
WIBTA for not wanting my my aunt and her husband at my graduation?
|
I’m on mobile so, blah, blah...
A bit of background. My aunt, who is like 70ish maybe lives in a different country than all of my family, so because of that, we’re not exactly close. Her husband, who’ve they’ve been married about ~35 years is an asshole and no one in my extended family likes him and the chooses to ignore this fact. She’s not a bad person, but she’s really annoying. Her family is super religious, really judgy and can’t stand when people (my whole family for ex) don’t go to church or have different beliefs than her. She and her husband are the literal definition of a conservative family... at my graduation party, my close friends and family are gonna be drinking and having an overall good time and they’re probably gonna be judging everyone for this... She has been asking me for months the date of my graduation, but i don’t answer her back. Just recently, my mom told me that she started asking her this also, but my mom knows that I don’t want her here, so she just tells her she doesn’t know. My aunt has a habit of unexpectedly coming over so I can’t tell her a date because she might come...
Also, she always lectures me about god and how he’s the one that saves lives, not me or my colleagues (medical school graduation), so we would i want someone like that on such a special day?
I’m sorry for grammar mistakes, english is not my native language.
Tl/dr: annoying aunt and husband want to invite themselves to my graduation and I don’t know how to tell them off.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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gBBbSzrXLxDcOAxXrpcTWUt4AaJwRcN2
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a4o2p4
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{
"description": "wanting to leave to get off",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For wanting to leave to get off
|
I \[21M\] wanted to get off, but my girlfriend \[20F\] didn't want to, which is entirely fair enough and her decision. I left it at that for half an hour, until I decided that I wanted to leave and get off myself. She then got offended by this, saying that it was selfish because I could have waited a couple hours and she might have been up for it then. The thing is we're both fairly tired - we went out last night as an early birthday celebration with her friends, and ate plenty of food today. We had an hour nap together after a large Sunday roast lunch. So far when she has been too tired to want to do anything it doesn't change later on that evening.
My question is am I the asshole for wanting to leave and get off myself in this scenario?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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aifh66
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{
"description": "telling my friend not to come on vacation with me to visit my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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}
|
AITA for telling my friend not to come on vacation with me to visit my best friend?
|
My best friend (Friend #1) moved to another country three years ago and I haven't seen him in person since. I booked a trip to visit him and another friend (Friend #2) found out about it. These two know each other, but are nothing more than acquaintances.
Yesterday Friend #2 tells me he wants to come on the trip, without really asking what I thought. I was hoping to use this trip as a time to reconnect with Friend #1, and I just feel like it wouldn't have the same connection with Friend #2 there. I told Friend #2 that since I hadn't seen Friend #1 in so long, we thought it would be good as a just us two trip, and Friend #2 could feel free to visit whenever other time worked best.
Am I the asshole for telling him not to come? I feel like it will negatively affect the original purpose of me taking the trip.
Thanks, Reddit!
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HISTORICAL
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avzalu
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{
"description": "telling someone to not be so bitter on Valentine's day",
"pronormative_score": 4,
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|
AITA for telling someone to not be so bitter on Valentine's Day
|
So I have a friend who's always single and HATES Valentine's Day. I've been in a relationship for over a year and obviously I love it. So my boyfriend brought me a bouquet of flowers to school (my favorites roses and sunflowers) and friend says "that bouquet is hideous". All the rest of the day at school she was rude and snappy towards me and it was starting to affect my good mood. So later that day we had to do an unpleasant assignment in a class together and this friend is talking about how much she hates Valentine's Day and how this assignment is only going to make her hate it more. Just saying how it's a "made up holiday to sell things" and how it shouldn't exist. She's starting to piss me off now and she asks me what's wrong so I tell her " I know you don't like Valentine's Day but you don't have to make it shitty for people that do". Does telling her that make me an asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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aUMALpL1uhxWiVDLWw1ZwUUp4CXx9Sml
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9zgmwl
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{
"description": "icing out my brother on Thanksgiving Day",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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|
AITA for icing out my brother on Thanksgiving Day?
|
Our mother has dementia. I'm the youngest of 5 (one is deceased). My brother is the next youngest and we were close for a very long time until a lie showed me how he was no different than the others.
I've been trying to take care of our mother at home, rather than put her in a home like so many people would. I hired a sitter to help when I am required to go into the office. This has all been out of my own savings. Last year, almost this same time of year to be exact, I was really in a dark place reviewing my finances and deciding to go into my retirement funds to make sure I keep enough money to take care of things. I texted my 3 siblings saying I needed to talk to them about getting them to help me with our mom. My sister called me directly and asked what was going on and I told her. She acted so surprised and that she was more than happy to help and that I should text all 3 of them telling them the cost because we should all help. I felt immediately better. I texted them the cost. My oldest brother came by the house and proceeded to tell me he couldn't give more than $50 per week because he recently retired. I told him anything would help. My youngest brother called and said he had some bills to take care of but would give me something "when my tax return comes". I guess I was so lonely and hopeful, I accepted all of their "offers". In the back of my mind, I knew I would get nothing because the oldest brother and sister were notorious liars (my Christian sister let my deceased brother die owing him thousands of dollars and she let our aunt die owing her thousands of dollars; my oldest brother was a womanizer who has cheated on his wife for their entire marriage). But I was really hurt more by my youngest brother, because, while dealing with our mom's dementia, he has been the only one that actually would call and ask me how I was doing and call to make me laugh and keep me going. So, when he gave me the "when I get my tax return" reply, I was crushed. He'd used that same line on our lying sister years ago when she paid his rent and never paid her back. He went for 6 months avoiding me because he knew I was hurt from the lie. He called me, crying about it, and I forgave him. But then he hasn't called again since. That was 3 months ago.
I guess I thought they all would do this for their mother, not for me.
So here it is Thanksgiving day. I've fixed a nice dinner for my mom and me and she was happy and so was I. My youngest brother dropped by. I took him to the den and went to get her, then I just left the room. If he thought he could just drop by and have me smiling and laughing like nothing has happened, he learned better. I left him in the den with our mom and went to do laundry.
I'm thankful I'm somehow still able to take care of my mom and see her though her happy days and confused days.
So, AITA because I couldn't let him take my joy today?
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HISTORICAL
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afqluc
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{
"description": "making fun of a transgender girl who's been harassing me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
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}
|
AITA for making fun of a transgender girl who’s been harassing me?
|
So in my school there was this girl that asked me out and I refused she went on to be rude to me and became trans. They now harass me very frequently. So I decided to retaliate once. They said “why do you never wash your hair?” (Which doesn’t seem like much but it has been adding up so I replied “why are you pretending to be a boy?” AITA or was it justified
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HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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WgP2Q1NCmuGh7O7zkJZi5l4cS7qoQvw4
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ao6gb7
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{
"description": "making my girlfriend pay half the rent even though I make more than her",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for making my girlfriend pay half the rent even though I make more than her?
|
This is a throwaway account because she follows my account. I'll give you a little background.
I bought a two bedroom house about a year ago. I got a super good deal on it because the previous owners put an addition on but did not finish it. The addition would add another master bedroom and bonus room on a 2nd floor.
I had two roommates moving in with me. I gave them the two existing bedrooms while I lived in the attached garage. I didnt mind because I was going to have the rest of the house done pretty soon.
I took out a credit card with a special offer for the first 12 months at a suoer low APR. Finished the addition in about 5 weeks. Planned on making the bonus room a game room and living in the new master. By then my sister went on summer break and needed a place to stay and my girlfriend wanted to move in. So I shared the master with my girlfriend and split the game room in half for my sister. After my sister went back to College I turned the game room back into a full game room and stayed in the master with my girlfriend and her daughter.
But shortly before my sister left my girlfriend lost her job. The company went under, she was not fired. The company that took over wanted her to go to a training facility over an hour away. She tried for a bit but it was too much because it caused her to work 13 hour days and barely see her kid. She quit and I let her stay with me essentially rent free for a couple months while she was in between jobs.
With her daughter going on 7 we decided she needed her own room and we needed the privacy. So we let the daughter have the master while we took the game room. (If I wanted to use the game room at night I wouldnt disturb her daughter. Thats why we decided this.).
Now that she has a stable job with decent pay I asked her to start paying rent two months ago. She has been at her job for 6 months now. I wasnt exactly having trouble but I was basically living paycheck to paycheck with $20-$50 extra a month. We agreed that she should pay half of all house bills that I am responsible for. Plus we go halves in on food.
I am one payment away from paying the card off. I have been paying as much as I can each month to get it done with as quick as possible. While she isnt struggling herself, she doesnt have that much wiggle room every pay period. We got into a huge argument last night because I refuse to go down on her rent after my last credit card payment. She feels that because I make more than her that I should be paying more. I don't see it that way at all. I think that would be really unfair to me. Especially because I don't even get to live in the bedroom I built so her daughter can have her own room.
Its not my fault you make less than I do. This isnt section 8 housing. So why should I have to pay for more than "my share" when I dont even technically have half the space. I think its udder bullshit. We arent engaged. We aren't married. Grow up and pay your way. Does this make me an asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aoohf9
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{
"description": "not seeing my girlfriend before she worked",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
AITA For not seeing my girlfriend before she worked?
|
So I got home from work at 4:10. I had previously asked her plans and was told she would go home and clean her room until work. She’s been sleeping over at my house for just under two weeks and I assumed she needed the time so I just went home and proceeded to call her anyway just because I like to. After a few minutes she proceeds to tell me that she is mad that I didn’t ask her to come over before her shift. The reason why I didn’t even think to is because she knew I had plans to see a friend at any time between 5-6pm. She lives 20 minutes away round trip and has to pay for gas with little money she has. AMITA for not asking to see her despite knowing what could potentially occur?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b0t2jh
|
{
"description": "calling this girl a gold digger",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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}
|
AITA for calling this girl a gold digger?
|
We started chatting on bumble and she invited me to come to a sporting event with her because she didn't want to go alone. Tickets were expensive so she offered to subsidize mine and told me she didn't want to drive. My car has some issues so I told her we'd have to take hers, which she said was fine. Then when I was supposed to buy my ticket, my paycheck didn't come through so I asked her to spot me the money and she straight up ghosted me. I sent her a few more messages and the only thing she sent was a snap from the game, which I guess she went to with another guy. I got pissed and called her a gold digger because she only wants money from guys and she replied, "what money lol" AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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AITA: Waitress tells me my food costs more than what was advertised. After me proving this she offers to give a bit of our money, but I get mad and say I want to pay the amount that the menu states.
|
Okay, the title makes me sounds really NTA, but there's more to it. Actually, it's a wall of text. But I felt like it was necessary to show my thoughts about the situation.
I go to this relatively upscale restaurant with my friend, who I'm paying for, I'm not very wealthy but I decided to splurge a bit for once.
Until I'm supposed to pay, we had a very good experience, the food is fast, very tasty, the waiter is quick, friendly, refills our drinks and even asks if we want her to get a bag so we could take the leftovers home... I was actually so impressed that I was going to give her a relatively big tip. (tipping in my country is not necessary, it's something you give if you are really happy with the service)
and this makes me feel a bit bad for getting pissed off at her.
Anyways we had a coupon that gave us 2 desserts for the price of 1 so we ordered desserts. I order a slice of cake and my friend a small ice cream. No problem here either. But then when we are done I noticed the bill was unusually high (I had made a price estimate in my head, and this was much higher than that) and I ask to see the receipt before I paid and I noticed I had been charged for both desserts. I point this out to the waitress and she said the small ice cream was excluded from that coupon, and for it to be valid we'd have to buy a big ice cream. I ask her to show me where it said that it was excluded, well, she has nothing to prove that. The coupon had a small text that stated desserts with alcohol was excluded from that deal, but nothing about small ice creams.
Then she just standed there for some 30 seconds thinking or something, and told me we could compromise. She said she could be ''nice'' (said without sarcasm) and reduce our dessert bill from 11,90€ to 8,90€, but if we had the 2 for 1 deal as advertised it would cost us 7,10€. I told her this and that I was not going to pay a cent more than that, because I felt like I had been scammed. Then she answered ''you will just pay 1 euro and 10 cents more than you'd have to do with said deal'' in an annoyed voice. I replied, ''I'm bad at math, but even I know that it is actually 1,80 euro, but I don't want to pay extra for something I was never informed about'' .
Not because I can't afford the small difference, but I wanted to stand my ground against what I felt was bullshit. We had some back and forth, but I was never rude to her (except speaking in an annoyed voice towards the end) or called her names. Finally she agreed to let me pay the original 2 for 1 price and even brought me a calculator to show me that 89-71 is 18(???).
When I was there I felt like I was right the whole time, but on my way home I started to doubt, because before the scene she seemed genuinely friendly with good service.
|
HISTORICAL
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|
AITA for changing my little brothers account password?
|
Okay, basically I bought a game for my brother that cost 60 euro and he paid 50 Euro of the price, promising he would pay the rest next month when his student money comes in.
So it goes a month and he has been playing the game somewhat, he refuses to pay me the remaining 10 euros as he said he would.
I decided to change the password of the account as I knew the password and he did not activate 2FA, note that the account only has the game I bought him.
He tells my mother that I took his account and she tells me to give it back, I refuse. I told her it's not about the money, it's about the principle.
I am 21, he is 18.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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AITA for wanting my roommate’s boyfriend to leave?
|
My roommate and I were best friends at one point and I was super excited to be moving in with her. Until I learned - the day before we moved in, mind you - that her boyfriend was going to be staying with us. Without pitching in for rent or utilities. They told me he’d be there two months max. After month three, I tell him he’s gotta go. They resented me for that right away. They think I’m a bad person for not wanting to help out a friend in need. I can’t help but agree with them and feel like I’m selfish for wanting him out, because the three of us were close and besides being messy he wasn’t hurting anything by being there. It’s just the fact that I was so excited and it ended up not being what I thought it would be at all or what I agreed to.
It all came to a head one night and we had a falling out over the situation. I left and went to my boyfriends and have been staying here since, which has been a few months at this point. Since I’m gone, my roommate’s boyfriend has moved back in. Again, without pitching in money-wise. AITA for asking that he takes over my portion of utilities or gtfo? I realize that they didn’t ask me to leave so it’s still on me to pay rent, but I think it’s bullshit to have to pay for her boyfriend to be living there. But at this point I can’t tell if I’m in the right or if I’m just being petty and really am a selfish person and shitty friend.
|
HISTORICAL
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"pronormative_score": 4,
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|
AITA for (potentially) calling out a 17 year old for being kinda obsessed with a 13 year old?
|
Hey Howdy Folks.
Am I the asshole for calling out my 17 year old friend for being kinda obsessed with a 13 year old girl?
Here's le context:
I run a talking train series on youtube (yes it is how it sounds) and my friend decided to make some short episodes for it. In one of said episodes he asked one of his Deviantart to voice a character. I met her a few days later and the 17 year old friend commented on how cute her voice and laugh is. I thought no big deal, she's probably 15 or 16 or something. And then I found out she's 13. As the title says, I'm worried I'd be the asshole if I point this out to her or him. Would I be the asshole if I did that?
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HISTORICAL
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{
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|
AITA for going to my grandmas house and not lunch with a friend
|
So my friend and I have been trying to hang out for the past couple weeks but due to busy schedules it always falls through, last night on the phone with her she told me she might get to leave work early and get lunch with me. She told me she would let me know the next day before lunch, 2pm rolls around and I haven’t heard from her I decided to visit my grandma. On my way there i get a text from my friend asking what I’m doing so i tell her she says “ I thought we were getting lunch, but ok” and hasn’t been responding to my texts or calls.
This is a really good friend of mine and I don’t want to be in the wrong, so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "needing frequent validation",
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|
AITA For Needing Frequent Validation
|
So, a little context; I have severe BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and one of the symptoms that comes with that is a lack of emotional and relationship permanence.
Because of this, I constantly ask my girlfriend (bless her soul for putting up with my shit tbh) if she still likes and is attracted to me. She doesn't say it outright and it very well could be my anxiety and paranoia fucking with me, but I feel like she's exhausted by this, and I keep wondering if I should just suck it up and if I'm being an asshole for putting that on her and potentially stressing her out. The last thing I want to do is stress her out or upset her and I do my best to communicate, but I know she wouldn't have the heart to tell me if I'm being an asshole or not.
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HISTORICAL
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"pronormative_score": 5,
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}
|
WIBTA If I requested a driving instructor that ONLY speaks english?
|
So I've done all my hours and am doing my test in april, I've set aside money so I can have a driving instructor do a lesson for me every day for a week leading up to the test so I'm as prepared as I possibly can be.
I've had one lesson from an instructor and he had a really thick indian accent, and I'm sh*t at understanding accents. The whole lesson I was focusing more on trying to figure out what he was saying rather than actually focusing on the road and driving, which made me feel really unsafe. I didn't learn anything from the lesson (a waste of $60 too, which for a broke student is a hell of a lot of money) and am anxious about driving with another stranger, especially if they have an accent.
Anyway, I was going to call a bunch of driving schools today and ask if I can specifically have an instructor that only speaks english, as I don't want a repeat of the last lesson and I don't want to waste my money. Is that an asshole move?
TLDR; WIBTA if I asked to have a driving instructor that only speaks english?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling someone I dont want to be their friend, even tho I don't have fun hanging out with her",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling someone I dont wanna be their friend, even tho I don't have fun hanging out with her?
|
**First time posting**
Alright this is a pretty long story so be prepared. I was friends with a girl (who we'll name Kara) and a guy (who we'll call Ben). I've known Kara for about 7 months and Ben for 4 years.
Kara was a super annoying girl near the end of me and her friendship. She would always obsess over Ben, who at the time she was crushing over, and she would almost never really pay much attention to me. She was super needy about having me bike with her, begging her to tell her if there's anything horrible with her, and heck, she tried to get me to 'unfriend' Ben at one point, for lack of a better word.
So one day, me and Ben were on the bus going home, and I forget how we brought it up but we ended up talking about how she was super obsessive and needy and was talking about dating even though we were only in grade eight and stuff.
And it almost out of nowhere occured to me that, wow, I don't have fun hanging out with her. There wasn't one exact reason why, but just a bunch of small reasons, like she would call me slow, or she always crushed on my best friend, or how she would always call me at like 11:00 on a school night and get mad when I don't pick up.
So I called Ben about this, and it turns out that he also realized the same kinda thing. So we stayed on the phone for around a half an hour, just venting about her and talking about wether we should tell her or not, and we come to the agreement that I should text her and tell her that i don't wanna be her best friend anymore because she was a being a pest.
I texted her for about 2 or 3 hours, and the whole time she was being super guilty trippy and super mean, telling me that I'm (a bunch of swears and slurs and stuff), while telling me that she thinks I'm 'genuinely perfect', while being super self deprecating, saying she sucks and stuff. And from there, she blocked me. I felt incredibly relieved that I was officially not her friend anymore, yet that was about to change at school.
The next day, rumors went around that I bullied her, made fun of her, insulted her, and said that I had feelings for her. Not. True. My friends instantly realize this, and tell everyone about what was going on. Later that day, me and Ben went to our lockers while our other friend, let's call him Dave, was behind tying his shoe. As we're walking to our locker, we can hear Kara faintly whisper to Dave "see!? They left you!!" Which could only mean that Kara was trying to get my friends to turn on me. We go over and ask her what was going on, and she started buzzing on and on about us and how much of an asshole we were
This went on for about a month, she would occasionally kick me and Ben, or throw apple seeds at us, and other dumb stuff. and no, my friends luckily didn't turn on me. Thankfully the water has settled, and nothing really happens anymore.
but ever since then, I've always kept the question. Am I The Asshole here?? She treated me like garbage and all, but I still don't know if im the Jerkwad here or what.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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"description": "eating without waiting for my brother at the restaurant",
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"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for eating without waiting for my brother at the restaurant?
|
So, we (parents, brother A and brother M and his girlfriend, and my girlfriend) are staying at a hotel, and after getting back from skiing all day, my brother A, girlfriend and i wanted to go eat because we havent eaten anything all day (the rest did) so we did, my mother joined, then my dad as well... However my brother M and his girlfriend stayed, as they thought all the pizza places here would be closed, and didnt wanna come with us to search, instead they asked us to let them know if we find an open place.
We did find a place (3 mins from the hotel), and sent the location to my brother M and ordered... After 30 mins the pizza came, and my brother didnt yet. He did by the time my dad and i finished eating while the rest still had food on their plates.
Of course, he got angry, and stormed out immediately stating that if we wanted him to eat with us, we wouldve waited for him to arrive. So reddit, am i (or we) the asshole/s for not waiting for him?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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"description": "hooking up with my roommate",
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}
|
AITA for hooking up with my roommate?
|
Submitting here because this is just a baffling situation to me, and I could use some help figuring out what, if anything, I did to earn the asshole title.
Right. Rooming with a very good female friend for four months now. It's a pretty ideal living situation, both in terms of the place itself and how we get along as roomies. Both considerate and good at sharing space. We've known each other for two years now and are very comfortable together. I'd suspected that maybe right at the start of our friendship that she had some feelings for me, but we've been platonic buddies since then. I do still think she is quite physically attractive, although the idea of romance has long been closed off in my brain.
Well: it's wicked cold last night, so we decide to stay in. Snuggled up on the couch with drinks and such. The movie ends and we're chatting, and, it happens - we start kissing. To the best of my knowledge it was a mutual-initiation thing; I don't know whose idea it was but I was very into her in that moment, and obviously she was into me. We ended up having sex.
"Awkward" doesn't begin to describe the state of things at the moment - in truth, she's really very angry with me. Apparently I've ruined absolutely everything. She thinks we can't live together anymore - that not only has the friendship been tainted, but we can't possibly share a living space now that we've had a sexual relationship.
I mean... I'm just incredibly confused, and can't really see why she's framing me as such a douche right now. Sure I could have stopped it from happening, but we were both into it, and I don't see why things have changed so drastically from 24 hours ago. If we feel like pursuing a relationship, we can; if not, that's fine, we can keep living together normally. It feels strange to say because I don't bear her any ill will in general, but right now I think she's being a bit of an asshole about it. At any rate I don't think I am. Granted if she's intent on kicking me out, obviously I'll go. And I certainly don't want to pick this hill to die on if I'm in fact a giant asshole whose too blind to see it.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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"description": "giving my girlfriend a toothbrush",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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|
AITA for giving my girlfriend a toothbrush?
|
So I used my girlfriends toothbrush on accident a few times but quickly realized and put it down. Never told her. The other day I confessed and today I said I’d get her a new toothbrush. So I went and I got her one and toothpaste. I texted her and said “swing by [after work] for a gift 😎”. Which I thought was obvious it was the toothbrush because earlier I said I was getting one. She said “anniversary?” I said “that’s April dummy” (in all honestly I just realized our anniversary is coming up). Anyways she shows up in her car and I went out and said I want her to come in to show her this photo album I found and I gave her the toothbrush. Then she was pissed. I said sorry I didn’t realize she thought it was a really nice gift etc. Then she really seemed like she didn’t wanna come in and I said “do you really not wanna come in?” And she said no and she’s annoyed by me. And I said ok well I’ll see you later I guess.
I get why she’s disappointed but idk why she’s mad at me. I feel like it’s just kinda to be pissed at me for that.
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "never wanting to meet my real grandpa after not knowing of his existence for 19 years",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For never wanting to meet my real grandpa after not knowing of his existence for 19 years?
|
Hey guys, I’m 20 now and last year I found out that my Grandpa that I grew up with was not my real grandpa and he was my Nana’s second husband.
So growing up, I’ve always been around my grandpa, let’s call him Poppie, because that’s what I always called him. Poppie was always there for me when I was sick, hurt, upset, and seeking advice, and he always told me the best stories and we watched Popeye the Sailor together all the time, even Naruto from time to time. Eventually as time went by, he got pretty ill and eventually passed when I was in middle school. I was devastated and I still miss him today, nothing was ever going to make me forget him.
Last year, I was told by my mom that he was not my real grandpa and shockingly, my biological grandpa was still alive and out of no where he suddenly wants to meet me. I told my mom why he left and she said that my nana and him just didn’t work out. So I told her I need some time. I sat down with my dad and asked him about my biological grandpa and these were his words, “When he found out your mother was pregnant with you, he was disgusted and ashamed of your mom and didn’t want to do anything with her or even you, even after you were born, he didn’t want to be around.”
So this really pulled some heart strings in me and made me realize that this man probably didn’t want to be around at all. So it’s 2019 now and I’m still fighting with my mom and telling her that I don’t want to meet someone who never wanted to be around me in the first place, including his new family, I don’t want to meet any of them because they have never contacted me or ever wanted to be around me. I don’t want to see this man and not think of him as my grandpa, because my Poppie was someone who wasn’t even blood, and he still took care of me and loved me as if I was his family and that only made me love him even more.
So now I’m constantly going against my angry mom because I don’t want to see someone who vanished from my life because I was born. Am I the asshole for not wanting to meet him?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "letting my boyfriend be hungry and not feeding him enough",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for letting my boyfriend be hungry and not feeding him enough?
|
My boyfriend and I have lived together for a couple years now and for the most part things have gone well. His job pays more so he pays for most of the bills (I still pay for some) and I also do all of the cooking which I don’t have a problem with since I enjoy cooking, and the last time my boyfriend really cooked he burnt a pan with olive oil so bad we had to throw the whole pan away... so he tends to stay out of the kitchen.
He is also a big guy, he’s rather tall and sometimes says he’s fat - I’ve never described him that way, those are strictly his words. He does like to eat a lot, but I don’t mind it at all for appearance. My only concern is I want him to be healthy, so whenever I make food I try to make normal portions and sometimes healthier options. I’m not trying to change his diet completely, just so that we’re both not eating super unhealthy stuff all the time. But he’ll complain about how he doesn’t like something I’ve made or it’s not enough, and once he’s done eating he sometimes wants me to make something else,
I’ve told him that I’ve already made dinner and if he wants more food he can get it himself, but then he says since I’m in charge of food that I should be making enough for him because I know he has a big appetite. This can sometimes result in an argument and I start thinking maybe I should just cook extra food to make him happy. I don’t know. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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annemn
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{
"description": "worrying about my gfs future physical safety",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For worrying about my gfs future physical safety?(please do read because I am really questioning this)
|
Ok so at first glance of course I wouldn't be but just read on, please.
1) the topic of rape came up in my mind an I asked her if she has done martial arts before, she said no
2) I tell her that I want to teach her how to defend herself (i am a martial arts instructor) and she says no.
3) I continue to push that idea and then suggest she at least let me teach her some break always just in case (a way to break a persons grip, even one much stronger than you) she tells me no again. Once again I push
So yea. A few things to note about her is that she does not like to be protected, has had an extreamly rough childhood (horrible parenting on her moms part), she doesn't like to plan for the future or to worry about things she doesn't feel are worth it.
Please fully consider the possibility that I am an asshole, i want brutality honest answers here. Ik that this is the internet and you rarely get what you want from it but in this case i want part of what the internet is known for.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b7s1nn
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{
"description": "being upset with my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Being Upset with My Best Friend?
|
My best friend (17f), who I'll call Marie, is a bit of a drama queen. She's also incapable of getting over her ex (who dumped her in December) and thus she seems to have a new boyfriend who she's 'in love' with every other day. It's really starting to get on my nerves, hearing endlessly about this new guy or that new guy, each one of them a lower standard than the rest. She's been with coke dealers, ninth graders, total mansluts, and guys who have girlfriends. She just keeps sinking lower and lower and it's really starting to get on my nerves, because every time she breaks up with a guy, she cries and cries and talks about how shitty her life is and promises that she's going to 'take two months to get it together' and focus on herself, but two days later she's got a new man that she's absolutely obsessed with. She stalks my instagram followers, my friends, even our friends' siblings looking for someone to date. She once drove through town (with myself and two of our other friends in the car), asking random guys on the street to be her prom date. She doesn't realize how much desperation is a turn off for guys.
Everytime I bring this up to her, she either gets all sad and gives me the same 'pity me' kind of sob story, or she gets mad at me right back. It's driving me crazy, here!
On one hand, I know she's just trying to get over her ex and that she gets lonely. She's also a lovely person when she's not being absolutely insanely boy crazy, which is why I feel like TA. She takes me out on daytrips, buys me energy drinks when I've had a rough night, and generally she has been a very good friend to me outside of this insanity.
But on the other hand, this push-pull is really getting on my nerves. I don't know how to handle it, nor does anyone else. I'm thinking about just telling her that she's getting on my nerves with all of this, but I don't want her to be mad at me.
So, reddit. Am I The Asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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axmhiu
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{
"description": "being able to not cheat",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being able to not cheat?
|
So some background. At work there were these group of girls that I got a long with great. One of them being single was interested in me but I turned down her advances and kept our relationship platonic. After a while her friends tried to hook me up with her and I told them that I didn’t want to be in a relationship because I don’t think I could remain faithful. This was back in my first year in college and I was going out a lot and just trying to enjoy the moment of it. I’m different now and am in a faithful relationship but was wondering if I was the asshole for being honest about why I didn’t want a relationship. They got really pissed at me when I said this and said I was a total pos for it. I thought it was better for me to not be in a relationship when I thought I couldn’t be faithful.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ax1rzg
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{
"description": "trying too hard to love someone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for trying too hard to love someone?
|
I had liked someone in 4th grade (i consider myself pretty mature ok) who I confessed to and later got friendzoned, which was a reasonable reaction. This relationship lasted 3 years. In 6th grade, she got type 2 diabetes, which I accepted and still loved her. In the same year, she said that she liked another boy (who coincidentally shared the same name as me) and I was shattered. I got pretty pissed but didn't show it to her. Later on, she so called "discovered" that she was LGBT. That was the last straw for me. I got super pissed because she would not ever say "thank you" or anything that was positive for me. I still had loved her for three years, and she decided that she was LGBT. She eventually broke ties with me and we occasionally have the obligatory "fuck you" every other month or so. AITA for trying so hard to get her?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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anh1so
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{
"description": "asking my boyfriend to stop casually mentioning his dating history",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend to stop casually mentioning his dating history?
|
Looking to hear if I' was just being an overly sensitive asshole -
My boyfriend has had a fairly active dating life growing up I think as your average, attractive guy.
Certain exes leaves you with stories, and he shares them every now and then, if theres an reason for him to want to clue me in to this - and I want to hear why these stories are important for him to share with me. Maybe for therapeutic purposes, and putting it all out there for me to see. We in general have open and honest communication.
He's talked about exes from his past, mainly drawing parallels to our current situation, probably for therapeutic reason. Some of them were very painful breakups - and I appreciate us sharing our processes that brought us to where we are now, I don't mind him wanting to reflect on these parts of his life with me at all.
However, a few times, apropos of nothing, he'll just point out some thing's randomly, like 'I hooked up with her' 'I dated that girl' and then move on from that point. Or when we're watching some of his old holiday footage from Bali and he randomly points out a girl he had sex with.
And it gets to me a little bit; these timeswhere he'll just blurt out these things from his past, without really having there be a bigger context or story to it.
So, at one point we're watching the telly and a travel ad comes on about going to South East Asia and having a Bali romance.
He turns to me, squeezes my thigh and says with a cheeky grin 'I've had a Bali romance', and then turns back.
Like, what am I supposed to do, high five you and say good job, buddy?
I tried to explain to him, that I don't necessarily need to hear about all of his past conquests just because he's had them and they pop up in his memory. It just makes me feel uneasy if that's literally all there is to the story.
He looked pretty down after I said it and we went to bed shortly after..
He's in general very thoughtful person, and we're very open about our feelings. He's helped me get better at speaking up about what I feel instead of burying things deep down.
Normally thing bothering me will eat away at me for a while, before he'll force out of me what's on my mind and I finally share. Now I can bring these things up more organically as they occur.
But maybe I'm just being sensitive, since I'm ok with him talking about his exes in a more reflective way, but not just casually mentioning it - am I making mountains out of mole hills here?
So Reddit - AITA for asking to be spared the casual sprinkling of information of my BF's dating history?
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HISTORICAL
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afa0r8
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{
"description": "not being able to forget what happened",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being able to forget what happened?
|
2 months ago, I was in a 7 month relationship. She is a great girl! But she had horrible moments growing up (her mom died of cancer when she was 16). On a Friday, we had a huge fight because I lied about a job interview I attended (I didn't let her know about the interview, when she confronted me I lied and told her that the company called me a few hours prior to the interview. I felt bad and told the truth). We continued fighting and both went to bed mad at each other.
On the next day, we had to attend her friend's birthday party on a boat. We were still mad, but I had to pretend everything was OK so she wouldn't be uncomfortable among her friends.
Eventually we talk and things get better! She is suddenly smiling and upbeat, which made me more comfortable, but I noticed that she was constantly texting. I asked her if it was our principal (we're both teachers at a company) but she said it was her family group chat.
I started getting really paranoid and decide to peek at her phone when she texted close to me (not proud of it, believe me).
She was texting the president of our company (she had a crush on him years before we started going out, and he started hitting on her after we started dating. But she always showed me whenever he was talking to her) the message she wrote was: "whenever I see you, I just feel like holding your hand and smiling"
I grab a drink and confront her. We fought in the middle of the party. When I drove her home, she cried and apologized. Said that she only did it because she wanted attention from him and that she loved me, but I was feeling like shit and didn't want to see her anymore.
Weeks go by and she texted me constantly, saying that I shouldn't hold that against her, that if I don't forgive her it's because I've never loved her, and how she always gets abandoned in her life (her mom left her when she died, and she claims I'm doing the same)
This is already too long, AITA for not being able to move past this? I just can't stop feeling like shit, and don't see a possibility of us getting back together. Even if there was such possibility, I feel like I can't trust her anymore.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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7Bd8DfYLZ4qMrfZGCzekUfpIP1t0Esfu
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ayzmty
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{
"description": "saying no to my picture being posted on social media, even if I was okay with the picture being taken",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying no to my picture being posted on social media, even if i was okay with the picture being taken?
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https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/aytqvd/office_mate_that_takes_pictures_without/?utm_source=reddit-android
Above is what happened earlier.
This post is about the same woman. She had taken a picture of us earlier. Today during breakfast, she asked if it's okay to post it on Instagram. I said no, im not comfortable with it. She got mad. Asked me why I came on an office trip if im being like this.
She told me I'm violating her rights by not letting her post it. I told her I was very reluctantly okay with the picture being taken. I'm not okay with it being posted. She still insists I'm violating her rights. She believes it's her right to post it now that she has the picture.
So my question is: just coz I said yes to photo being taken, does it make me the asshole to say she can't post it? Does she have a point in saying that picture being taken= her property?
Ps: she posted it after I walked off as she was getting loud
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b5z1hv
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{
"description": "wanting to my MIL to schedule her visit to avoid my own parents' visit",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to my MIL to schedule her visit to avoid my own parents’ visit?
|
Some background: my (44F) mother-in-law (80F) is a very kind, dynamic woman who advocates for others and is active in her community. I look up to her in many ways. However, something that has always bothered me is that when she comes for extended visits—sometimes for 2 weeks, more often for 4-8 weeks—she never really checks with us to see if the dates/duration of visit work. She just tells us when she’s coming.
I’m a teacher, and her visits tend to coincide with my school holidays. Also, they overlap with our visitation with my stepchildren, who are tweens and whose lives I have been in since they were toddlers. We have always lived a few states away from her and for the past two years have lived several states away from the children.
I do want her to visit and to have time with the children, but the visits tend to occupy most of my school holidays and most of the children’s visits. I would like to set some boundaries so that we have a week or two in the summer and two days on shorter holidays with the children so that we can take day trips (she drives, but we don’t want to leave her stranded without a vehicle).
Also, whereas she is retired, my own parents are in their late 50s/early 60s and still active in demanding careers. It’s difficult for them to get time off, and when they do visit, it’s for 3-4 days. I often am unable to have them visit during my time off because MIL is with us for an extended visit and there’s no room.
Last year we moved farther away from my parents (an 18-hour drive instead of 6).. They have not been able to visit yet due to career obligations and cancer treatments (very treatable), but have given us a two-week block of time during which they would like to plan a 4-5 day visit this summer.
AITA for wanting to tell MIL that any summer visits will need to be scheduled to avoid this block of time? She’s been here six weeks over the last nine months (she came less than a week after we moved in and stayed for a month), and while we now have the space to accommodate everyone, I don’t want to. I would like to be able to focus on my parents during their brief, rare visit. It’s early in the summer, so she can still visit for a month or more after their visit takes place:
Usually when I ask my husband to talk to MIL about visits, he shrugs and says, “That’s just mom” or gets huffy and says she’s 80 and maybe I’ll be glad when she’s gone because then I won’t have to worry about it. I don’t want her to be gone. She’s a wonderful lady-a really considerate guest. I would just like to set some boundaries.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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f7Z6ZRz7PPtMAMSWsbRPLPqe64Kj7LRr
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afurnp
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{
"description": "wanting to repossess my Blendtec/tv from my room mates",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to repossess my Blendtec/tv from my room mates?
|
I am moving out of my house this week. I lived here two years ago, left for a year and came back. I forgot a few things in the house including a tv my mom gave me and my Blendtec blender. By Washington state law, the property became their because I technically abandoned it the first time I left.
This time, I want to take these things with me but legally it’s their property. On the other hand, I have receipts for the blender ($425) and pictures of the tv in my old home from years ago. They told me I could take them at departure when I moved back in, but the climate has changed in the house. I’m nervous to ask them because they are on hard drugs and don’t remember what happened 20 minutes ago, so I wouldn’t expect them to remember something they said 2 months ago.
AITA for wanting my things back? I plan to leave them my juicer which they love (also have $200 receipt) and my grow equipment which totals around $500- I left those here a while ago also. They’ve also stolen things from me since being here, so I have a hard time feeling guilty about taking things my mom and I originally paid for.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6jt8x
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{
"description": "telling my ex that I won't get back with with them unless they cut ties with mutual friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for telling my ex that I won't get back with with them unless they cut ties with mutual friend
|
My ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago, out of the blue. We basically stopped talking completely during those 2 weeks, and I took comfort in one of our mutual friends (we'll call her SF), who was there for me the whole time.
This past weekend the ex and I decided to talk about everything and he admitted to kissing SF a couple days after we broke up. They were both going through some rough emotional times, and he said they both took comfort in knowing that the other cared about them. He's the one who initiated the kiss, but SF didn't have to kiss him back (she had a bf at the time). They have both apologized to me and said it was a mistake and shouldn't have happened, but I feel betrayed, especially since SF never mentioned the kiss to me, I had to find out through my ex. SF acted like my friend the whole time, without me knowing that she kissed him.
Ex said he's been enjoys spending time with me since we've been seeing each other more after the break, likes being around me and is considering getting back together with me but I told him I wouldn't take him back unless he cut SF out of his life.
I feel really conflicted asking this of him, because I feel like it's too controlling, but he's the one who broke my trust and kissed our friend. He said he doesn't have any feelings for her, but I think SF might have feelings for him. I get friends can care deeply about each other, but not to the point of kissing right after he broke up with me.
Am I the asshole for making him do this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
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HfjBVeqyqfu1OSELVwkAFPLmsN5Tlmhd
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amouq1
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{
"description": "forcing my mother to cancel her own plans for my surprise day out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for forcing my mother to cancel her own plans for my surprise day out?
|
(Very weird title I’m sorry). And I’m on mobile.
Backstory: I (14F) love the theatre, and so does my mum, so I figured “let’s get her surprise tickets to see her favourite musical- Les mis”
I book the tickets (£60) and picked a date that she wasn’t doing anything. I subtlety hinted ‘hey we should do something for your birthday on X day’ but I didn’t say the time (as I didn’t want to make it obvious). The original plan was to go out from 3PM or so, take her out to dinner/lunch, have a walk around London (you know, normal mother/daughter bonding stuff) and then “surprise! Theatre tickets” at 7PM.
Now here’s the issue: (THIS IS PURELY HYPOTHETICAL, and not exactly what happened)
Let’s say I hear her talking about stuff on that day that I booked out, and it’s in the morning, running into the afternoon (she plays sports) and then possibly the evening (5PM) or so. Because I didn’t specify the time of the event, she assumed ‘oh it’s the evening how nice!’ But it’s not just the evening, it’s all day.
WIBTA if I asked her to cancel all her plans from 3PM onwards that day? Or if she planned an event thinking our little day out would last only a couple hours? Then what happens if it’s semi-important work stuff and she simply can’t miss it. What happens then? WIBTA still if I asked her/made her cancel the plans? This hasn’t happened of course, but I’m kinda worried it might, as its happened occasionally, but for other events.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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wgCqz0VFNNErEZzpwEoRDNQEZnhsgUER
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b83dt9
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{
"description": "being extremely pissed at my dad",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being extremely pissed at my dad?
|
For some background, my favorite band for years Has been a deathcore act called Infant Annihilator. They released a hat some years back that had their logo on the front and said "Cuntcrusher" (one of their songs) on the back. I didn't walk around with it on too much, and it's not like I rubbed it in his face that I had "edgy band merch", I was just happy to own something so rare. Needless to say, I come home one day and can't find it. I confront him about it and he just says he threw it out. Literally threw it away. Mind you, I paid for this with my money. It's been about 4 years, and I'm still extremely pissed at him. I can't find the hat anywhere online, and trust me I've looked for a long time. I guess what I'm asking is am I the asshole for being really upset he threw away my hat even though it was pretty shocking for the sake of being shocking?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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7d93QX3VQjwcDKdhDwTzR3tjFZQT28S4
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atbpxp
|
{
"description": "letting my roommate pay the extra $100 for the master bedroom",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For letting my roommate pay the extra $100 for the master bedroom
|
Before we moved out, that’s what we agreed on. Whoever got the master bedroom had to pay the extra $100. He was persistent about wanting the master bedroom, so he got it. But now he buys furniture from an auction that we didn’t know about until he bought it.
After he buys the furniture he just assumed that we could bust out paying the first months rent for him. And we did. We didn’t know if it was okay or not but it’s our first time moving out and it seemed somewhat fair.
But the on the first day on us being officially moved out, he asked if we could split the rent evenly. I didn’t say anything because that put me in a really bad mood. My other roommate didn’t say anything along the lines of “yes that’s okay”.
2 weeks in I had to remind him to calculate the extra $100 for himself because when he did the math it was wrong (he evened out the price) and he didn’t argue. He payed his extra $100 for the next 2 months.
3 months in, he said the water bill increased. All the sudden our bills skyrocket, except his went down $100...
I texted him today about how he was splitting everything, telling him that he needs to pay the extra $100, then he snapped at me over text message, telling me that our other roommate said he was okay with it and that he assumed I thought it was okay since I said nothing (regarding the first day we moved out). 3 months in, and he’s bringing up something from the first day we moved out, and he’s lying about our roommate agreeing.
tl;dr
My roommate doesn’t wanna pay the extra $100 because he bought furniture 3 months ago, even though we payed his first month rent because of it.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aymbkt
|
{
"description": "taking two days to consider a employment offer",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking two days to consider a employment offer?
|
AITA? I was head hunted by a recruiter three weeks ago about an opportunity high up in the sales team at a small but reputable company in my industry. It would be the next step up for me in job level and a bump in pay but come with a lot of travel. I went through many calls with the recruiter who was excellent and covered the travel portion of the job extremely thoroughly. The VP who would be my boss flew out to meet me and took my wife and I out to dinner to make sure we were ok with the travel as a family. They flew me out to their HQ the next week (this week) and went through another round of interviews before they made me an offer yesterday.
They had a great idea as to what I make now and made a offer about 10-12% above that. Not exactly what I was hoping for but I was prepared to negotiate a low ball. I spoke to the recruiter (who was negotiating the offer with me) thanked him for the consideration, informed him I wanted a little time to consider the offer against all options and it would be helpful to know if there was any flexibility in the offer and when they needed an answer back by as the offer letter did not have a expiration date. No date was given but he said there was flexibility and we agreed to talk again in the morning.
We spoke this morning around 10. I told him given the amount of travel and home life impacts my wife and I agree we were both looking for more money to make the time away worth it. I was prepared to accept a good offer but the +10% offer was at the extreme low end of my expectations. I felt there was an extra 5-10% on the table. Keep in mind this is for a high level sales position, speaking with the VP of sales through the recruiter. We end the call with the recruiter going back to the VP. At 12:30 I get an email from the HR rep who emailed the offer letter the day before closing the offer because it appears the travel is too much for me.
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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K6KRRCHhGAuU3hJRyDRIIfLMEUGLlpZG
|
arxpqg
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{
"description": "making a joke diss track calling my friend gay",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for making a joke diss track calling my friend gay
|
here's a little backstory, I was in an art class with my friend, lets call him J, J threatened to make a diss track on me (I make ironic rap music as a stupid joke and it's kinda well known at my school) so I threatened to make one on him. A while later in a science class J was in, J brought up the diss track again, My friend, lets call her A, usually helped me write my music, she didn't know about the diss track, I hadn't even started because I thought J was joking. So me and A agreed to actually make the diss track.
J gets really triggered if anyone even mentions anything relating to gay around him, so me and A had planned to make the diss track mostly us calling J gay. Keep in mind J clearly knew all of this was a joke. Me and A came up with the name "J couldn't be gayer" (it was his name instead of J) and J knew of this. He was fine with it.
Me and A were planing out merch (idk we didn't want to do work) and we decided to put the title of the diss track down. J than proceeds to snatch the paper from us, get upset at us for calling him gay, and give it to our teacher. Skip forword a few days, our teacher gets a call from guidance "You and A are going to guidance" (not actually what was said). The guidance asks us our side of the story, we explain what happened to her. The guidance made me and A apologize to J, so we did.
What bothers me is how J was fine with the name, but all the sudden he's triggered. Keep in mind that me and J had been friends for a pretty long time and he clearly knew I was joking. I'm now banned from J's discord server and also blocked.
So am I the asshole?
​
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
F79D4PjJBR9wEbQFsmzaylMX37HU6u9t
|
aavmat
|
{
"description": "keying my coworkers car",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for keying my coworkers car?
|
I used to work at a camping facility back around 2015. The property was on grounds leased from the local state park, there were cabins and a theater etc and it was rented out to different groups every week. Usually schools on weekdays and church groups or other kinds of groups during the weekends and summer. I was there for weekend and summer groups, I was basically a slave for the group leaders and did whatever they needed such as setting up bonfires on the beach, moving the heaviest fucking mattresses in the world, unlock doors, or random stupid shit that you would never believe somebody would request. We had two different shifts, one from morning until mid-day, the other was mid-day to around midnight.
We worked in shifts, generally two or three hosts working at a time and we would often split up easy tasks to get work done faster, or if it involved heavy lifting we would always work together since it was hard work. I was 18 at the time and summer had started meaning I was there full time. During this time a few girls who worked with the school groups transferred into my department for the summer. Now this particular girl, let's call her Brittney. Brittney was rude, she was lazy, and she was sexist. I hated working with Brittney because she would always sit in the golf cart (we rode around the property on golf carts to move stuff quickly) and not do anything. If I called her out on it she would always say something like "you call yourself a man? You should be able to do it yourself", or "you need to man up". Nevermind the fact that this was always during heavy lifting. I don't care so much doing the small stuff by myself, but I'm not a big fan of doing a two person job alone.
Now the thing about Brittney is that she had a nice car, and it was her baby. She put her entire pay from this job into payments for that car. It was brand new to that current year, it was far more than she could afford at that stage of her life, especially with that job, but it was her treasure and she always talked about it. The rest of us drove older cars because we were pretty young, and she would always try to flex about her poor financial decision.
Another thing I should mention is we had two parking lots at the camp. One was very close to the facilities and there were some spots along the side of the road next to that parking lot, the the other was at the top of a steep hill and quite the walk. We were supposed to park at the top of the hill and let the guests have the better parking spots. This wasn't a hard written rule but was something we did in the summer and the bosses were kind of strict about it so I was supposed make sure staff didn't park in the parking lot at the bottom of the hill, or especially along the road next to it.
Now one particular day when I was working Brittney was the only other host on staff that day. That means she's sitting in the golf cart while I'm moving mattresses and water jugs, I'm setting shit up while she's telling me to man up and I had enough. I wanted to tell the boss about how she'd been acting, but the boss *loved* Brittney, and the boss didn't like me so much (I had gotten in trouble previously for reporting something a coworker did, boss blamed it on me because the coworker I reported was the son of a higher staff member) so that wasn't an option. I'd had it at that point. It was fucking hot, I had been working hard all day and I was tired of Brittany's shit. I was ready to snap but I controlled my anger. It was the end of my shift so I put away my radio and badge and headed out, ready to walk up that steep hill in a heat wave during July to get in my car and go home. And then, guess who parked at the bottom of the hill... Brittney. The timing was just too perfect. I didn't even think about it. I reached into my pocket, grabbed my keys, and as I passed her car I left a nice, deep scratch all down the side from front to back and just kept on walking. I thought for sure I'd get caught somehow. Then that same night somebody egged her. The next day she comes in complaining that somebody egged and keyed her car, she said her neighbor did it which meant I was off the hook. I eventually quit that job a few weeks later.
Am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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LUhGYj4hI4klFB0eNIVL90dbJmNU7t9N
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b4n3hy
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{
"description": "not wanting to help my younger brother with his school project",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for not wanting to help my younger brother with his school project ?
|
Let me explain. I’m 16 and I have a 12 year old brother. He has a project due on Monday, it was assigned last Monday but he didn’t do it because he “””didn’t know when it was due”” on Wednesday he asked me to help start his project, he asked because I like to draw and paint and do creative projects. I said I would help and then he told me it was due on Friday. I got frustrated and said “ why are you telling me this now ???? “ this is a pretty big project that’s worth a lot of points btw my mom got mad and went on about all the things she does for me and stuff and that I should help him. Then I said “ I would have helped him and not complained about it if he told me on the day it was assigned” my brother has a reputation for expecting other people to do his work for him. So when she asked me to help today I said that I would help as long as I’m not the one doing a majority of the project. Then she got mad and acted as if the request I have was crazy. So, am I the asshole ?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aeIO5FIcYJVqkMSY2J09KDW8vzlvd6jB
|
apay01
|
{
"description": "not starting conversations",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not starting conversations?
|
I know this sounds pretty stupid/childish but my friend (I guess ex-friend now) said that we aren't friends and blocked me because he found it annoying that he always had to start our conversations. I don't really think it would be that annoying texting "hi" or "hey" to me once a day but I don't know, maybe I am completely wrong about all this.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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W7CsUYFflQT2HAlorbzrAE1bywYRLPJI
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asvzmm
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{
"description": "telling my friend to leave me alone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Telling My Friend To Leave Me Alone
|
Backstory- My friends for some reason "ship" me with a boy we have class with. I dont really care but my friend takes it farther than the others. The classroom floor is slick and she reguraly tries forcing us to kiss. My friend had a crush 2 years ago during our schools production of the Lion King causing people to hum can you feel the love tonight when they were near each other. She hates the song and she gets annoued by it.
On to the story, my friend had been annoying me in many ways that day. On top of that we had a high stress project and that boy was making it harder then necessary. She then shoved me into the boy trying to get us to kiss. She did this multiple times even after telling her to stop. I said "How would you like it if I did something like that to you." She said "I wouldn't care." To prove a point I hummed the song (I know this is ridiculous but this is how much she overreacts) and she dumped water on me. It was during late fall so I had to spend about 20-30 minutes in cold wet clothes and with soaked hair. I told her to fuck off and what she did was a complete overreaction. This is such a dumb story because I litteraly hummed a song she disliked and she dumped water on me. This is one of the more tame things she did.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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qF0ohExvQ8zMI4Hqw9LLZIlACmC7JIc4
|
ao1rxg
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{
"description": "not wanting to be with my (now EX) girlfriend all the time",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be with my (now EX) girlfriend all the time?
|
Hiya, Reddit. I'm pretty much new here. I've heard of the many stories that this site has to offer, and it's gotten to the point where I want to try posting something. I figured I would start here.
Anyways. This happened about a year or two ago, so I'll be fuzzy on some details, most likely.
Also sorry in advance if I make some sort of error in my post.
In my Junior year, one of my friends who I known since Elementary, had one day came up to me and asked if I would go out with her. I known her pretty well, we used to play and hang out at the local park quite a bit. We actually dated earlier in those days too, but my mom had us break up after she found us doing naughty stuff over the phone (you can probably guess what that was.) She had been going to my high school for awhile, but we would from time to time talk to each other in the hallways.
I had agreed on her offer. We would of course talk over Facebook, occasionally go out and browse stores, hang out at her house, etc.. She of course was kind, and a sweetheart. From the last time we had dated, it did seem like she was more clingy than usual. Probably just misses me, I guess. For the first 6 months or so, I was alright with it. But I did have moments where I just didn't want to really be around anyone. I probably should also mention that I don't really like having lots of friends or interacting with people very much. I usually kept to myself in classes, and more often than not, would do group projects alone, that kind of thing.
I would occasionally find myself being slightly irritated to be suddenly hugged or to have her run up alongside me in the halls on those days, but I kept quiet about it as I really don't like upsetting people if I have to. She would also try to find out every class that I went to, and any classes she did find, she would often dash her way to them when the bell rings just to catch me. Other times, she might wait at the class I go to next. Often, she will hug and kiss on me, staying with me as long as possible. Up to the bell, in the most extreme cases.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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WxIEqtKo8hSw0YsI2U0zsD7eKEDsG2Nz
|
ax0pv2
|
{
"description": "crying when my mom made pork",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for crying when my mom made pork
|
TL;DR: Pork is basically people and I cried when mom made pork after I asked her not to.
Ok, this requires a little backstory. I(29F) live with my parents while I go to school full time to be an X-ray Technologist. Long story really short, my dad was diagnosed with cancer last year and my parents offered to pay for me to go back to school if I moved back home and kept an extra eye on dad. (I own a house in the midwest.)
I'm about a year into my RADT program and I've seen all sorts of really nasty stuff at clinical. Part of our program requires us to spend X amount of hours in the OR(operating room) working the C-arm. Now, to the pork thing. Ever since I started in OR I developed a severe aversion to the smell of unseasoned pork as it cooked. It might have something to do with the smell that comes from cauterizing.
I'm happy to cook meals for my parents, and I am a pretty good cook. But I've asked respectfully that if they plan on making pork meals, that they heavily season it(Garlic, herbs, bbq). Mom seemed a little taken aback and asked me why. I explained that it had to do with my experience in the OR and the smells. She seemed to understand and agreed she wouldn't make pork.
So 5:30 rolls around and no one has asked me to make dinner, and it doesn't seem dinner is in the works so I figured it was a 'fend for yourself' night. I come downstairs and am assaulted by the smell of boiling pork.
Me: "So what are you making."
Mom: "a ham"
OK I'm panicking. She opens the lid of the \*slow cooker\* and I see something that vaguely resembles a pale ass cheek swimming in some tan liquid. I'm sweating from nausea. 5 minutes go by and dad comes up the stairs and says, "Can you check to see if the veggies are done?" (I get asked to do this a lot because my parents don't know what a cooked carrot is supposed to look like, I guess.)
I open the lid and I shit you not there is a pot full of pork stock filled with potatoes, carrots and greenbeans. Literally no seasoning. Just Pork Flavored Boiled Vegetables.
Is there no pork-free option? The finished "ham" literally looks like the inside of someone's ass cheek while they do a posterior hip replacement.
Voice shaking I say to dad(mom is downstairs) "I can't eat this"
Dad, "Why not?"
Me, "I've explained that I can't do pork..."
Dad, "When did you say that?
Me, "Around the time I started OR -" I'm starting to cry.
Dad, "Well are you going to eat it?"
Me, voice cracking "no..."
Dad, Loudly, "What?"
Mom comes back up stairs, "Whats wrong?"
Me, actually crying now, "I'm sorry I can't eat this!"
Mom makes an indignant sound and I run upstairs. And now I'm typing this story. So reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
DQzhFNvs4Q30csHvwAvOJ5OlLqvcCPkZ
|
b4ox9a
|
{
"description": "expecting a serious response",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting a serious response?
|
Hey, using a throwaway since he uses Reddit. I know it probably seems like such a small thing that it'd be SHP or ESH for being so petty and wasting everyone's time, but this is honestly the last straw for me and I feel really hopeless and unable to distinguish which one of us is right anymore.
​
We're sitting in a voice channel in Discord bored just regurgitating stupid shit for around an hour or so, and I decide to ask "hey do you have any suggestions for what to do?" All I get is "bruh" as a joke answer, which I laugh off and say "okay but really what should I do?" I ask this 2 more times until I finally get fed up and say "I'm looking for a serious answer, just please give me suggestions or just a simple no" to which he lashes out and says "You got pissy immediately and mood switched in a millisecond because I didn't conform to your mood swing at all." and proceeds to say "Sorry I can't read your mind about what you want mlady because your emotions are never in check" and leaves, proceeding to say maybe he'll talk to me later. It seems really petty and small, but I just need to give background context to say why I'm so fed up with it.
​
I've known this guy for a year and I consider him to be my best friend, but there's times that he's purposely made me feel like shit and made it indistinguishable whether he was right or wrong. If he ever does get caught up in it and admit he's wrong about something, he'll apologize and say he'll change, but will promptly go back to his old ways. He takes medication for anger issues which can get out of hand if he isn't on them, which he isn't this week due to personal reasons he won't disclose (I'm fine with that and I won't prod). Some of these outbursts have led to him telling me he wishes I was dead (only once) and saying that I'm making no progress towards mental health recovery (in therapy and on medication currently for depression and mood regulative issues).
​
I'm really sorry if this post seems small and petty. I'm 15, he's 19, and even if it's petty teen bullshit, I don't know what to do. This is my best friend, but he always makes me feel like shit when he's off his medication and tries to pin it off like it's my fault. We've been in an on again off again relationship (legal here) and there's nobody I'd rather be around, but I'm starting to wonder if my perception is really altered to the point where I feel like only I can do anything wrong in this. This is just a small instance in a series of things that have happened, not just this one petty stupid incident.
​
Let me know if there's not enough info, I'm just really shaken up over his reaction and it's bringing up past memories, so my recollection may not be as clear as necessary.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Q1v8JzXSWHNbvhw5wUWoOqiTbryfqezC
|
b61und
|
{
"description": "telling my mum she wasn't a great parent when she criticised gay people having kids",
"pronormative_score": 122,
"contranormative_score": 94
}
|
AITA for telling my mum she wasn’t a great parent when she criticised gay people having kids...
|
Ok so we were having a discussion the other day about gay people having children. My mum said kids should have a mother and father 🙄. I said there’s plenty of people who split up, a parent dies etc and the kid is fine. She said but having a mother and father is still better...I said not necessarily. If those parents were abusive, poor and couldn’t care properly for their kids then they’re not gonna be better than two parents of the same sex who aren’t abusive and can financially and emotionally support their kids. She then said that money had nothing to do with it and a poor heterosexual would be much better parents than a financially stable gay couple 🤦🏻♀️
I said that’s bullshit. I said us not having a lot of money growing up did badly affect me. It made everything a lot harder, my mental and physical health suffered because of it. I also said that my parents constant arguing and fighting with one another, plus my mothers constant screaming at me affected me badly and it would have been better for me to be bought up by gay people who could finically support me and who didn’t give me severe anxiety from the constant fighting.
She’s now not talking to me. Calling me disrespectful, saying she gave up a lot for me and I’m ungrateful.
So AITA for saying this, or is she the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
B4nWdSM8wxUXyzxHrAYGSatuWBjlSbvQ
|
a21pmj
|
{
"description": "getting a mate laid",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if i got a mate laid?
|
Sorry this is a bit late.
My mate was doing no nut November and and 2 days ago on the 28th we had a party. And we could either get him to lose his virginity(thus losing NNN) or continue no nut November. He continued. WIBTA if I got him laid?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
pIPdpe7U76bTUpDE9EhKsiqEV8us1TJM
|
aztdu2
|
{
"description": "not giving a flying fuck about my ex",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving a flying fuck about my ex
|
So im gonna start with a little bit of background information: Be me, 22 y/o male in the middle of his in-firm training (takes 3 years), who has been in a relationship with his first gf for almost 6 years. Fly to the USA for 4 weeks as a part of your training. Get your ass dumped via whatsapp after you´ve been there for 1 week because of another guy that she met (he gave her a ride from our hometown to the city where she studies for the last 1 1/2 years). Get messages like "Cant i be a little bit happy?" or "You havent cared about me in our relationship". Be sad as fuck, eat like once a day, no sleep because of jetlag + fucked up mentality. Cant enjoy the time you have there because you cant get a clear minute. Come back home after 4 weeks.
Thats where im gonna start. Of course she wanted to talk to me about everything and at the time i was abroad i also wanted to know why, but as i returned back home after 4 weeks full of shit i was so done with her. I didnt want to speak to her or ever see her again, even if the time we had together was beautiful and i loved her more than anything else. I can understand if you break up if you have the feeling that it just doesnt work anymore, but not like this, not after almost 6 years. Was that what i deserved? To be dumped like someone she barely knew and didnt care about? I felt so worthless for about 2-3 months. Without my friends and my parents i probably wouldnt be where i am right now and i spent the first few weeks talking with them about what happend so i could process it.
Almost everybody told me that i should not answer her messages or calls anymore, and that was just what i did. Of course she kept writing me, but i just ignored her. After a few months it started getting better and i didnt have to think about her all the time.
Now, after almost 1 year (all this took place in June 2018), she is blaming me that her conscience is bothering her and that she has to think about me alot, that she cant concentrate on her studies and that the relationship with her new bf suffers from her having to think about me. So basically she states that all this happened because i didnt want to settle things with her, but i really dont give a damn about what she thinks or how she feels now. AITA for this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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