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68FXogcQRqWuLHCSwViqR8tkpDN9JAmq
|
b6h5bc
|
{
"description": "being Rachel in this Ross and Rachel dilemma",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for being Rachel in this Ross and Rachel dilemma
|
I’m basically Rachel, and my boyfriend is Ross.
One Saturday morning I told him “Hey, I don’t think this is working out. Me and you have tried tones of times to make it work and it isn’t working.” ‘Ross’ said it is working we can make it better. I said “it’s not though come on, we said we would give it one last chance and we have and it hasn’t worked” I also said “I might get with someone tonight... joking but seriously it isn’t working is it”
Ross leaves my house.
Later on Ross texts me with general chit chat and I’m pretty blunt with just one word answers. Then he said “I didn’t get that job I went for” and I text back saying “awww best of luck next time, love ya x”
Later on I call him again in anger saying “this is why I can’t be with you” and I told him a few reasons why, I also told him not to come to my birthday.
Later that night he sleeps with someone.... the next day I call him telling him to come over and we sort stuff out.
I don’t see it as a PROPER break up just like Rachel didn’t, but he saw it as the end and wanted attention when he was dumped just like Ross did.
Sometimes in my head I see it as “we argued and he slept with someone” and it gives me quite bad anxiety worrying about it ever happening again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
9hHi2P9r7dA3HufburOJCWeJekU1CeUQ
|
azq2ar
|
{
"description": "not just listening",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not just listening?
|
So my girlfriend and I were just got off the phone two minutes ago. We were talking about how her and her friend were getting into a falling out situation and it was stressing her out and she was talking to me about it and I tried to talk to her and give her some of my own perspective about it. I gave her my opinions on it and how I felt like she was doing the right thing for herself but at the same time I felt like her and her friend should maybe have a heart-to-heart because they've been friends for a really really long time (it's also her cousin) and it was very important to her that they stayed friends.
The way things were going they were just going to not be friends eventually and she plans on moving in a little while and she considered just having that be a reset button and I was saying how eventually she's going to have friendships like that no matter where she lives and she's not always going to be able to do a full reset like that. I said it wouldn't maybe be a bad thing to try to work this friendship out before she leaves and at least try to figure something out because she's not always going to be able to just move away. This is a very TL;DR version of the conversation, we talked for over an hour.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vYSeltsAS99JiwS9F6toQ9W8dVvxgfnc
|
awtd44
| null |
AITA because I don’t this I am
|
Over the past two years I have been dating a very nice man, he has three kids from his previous marriage and I have one. She has since found a boyfriend as well.
So last night there was a birthday party for my boyfriends niece and his ex was going to be there. He asked me to drop him off and come back a bit later to go out for drinks and such. On the way there, he got a phone call saying that I could go because the ex and the sister in law chatted. I already said that I’ll just go to a bar and have lunch and some drinks because I didn’t want to show up to a house not invited before this phone call came to him. After a bit I went there had a drink with the family and then we left because I didn’t have any beers( piss poor planning on my part). So while at the store I said I’m not going to compete with your ex, worrying about her feelings isn’t what should of happen. I get along with the sister In Law as well as his brother. Me and his ex chat small talk and have never had an issue.
This isn’t that first time that he has choose his ex’s feelings over mine. To make sure she is comfortable and such.
Couple of weekends ago I drove and hour both ways to go see his kid play a basketball game. When leaving she ran over to him because her roof is leaking. While in the jumble of people leaving he left me in the dust, when they got outside he realized I wasn’t with him and waited. They got into their respective vehicles and he left me there to go deal with her house.
I’m very hurt by this feeling and he is telling me I have no grounds to feel this way and it’s not like that. I also told him that I just wanted to feel love not be pushed to the side. He is telling me I’m jealous which I really am not I just wanted respect for my feelings since he is dating me........sooo am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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|
WRONG
|
Dizy5TaFtnrk6M3Las31NgKKqYQK4Mae
|
arn30z
|
{
"description": "getting mad at someone who complained about a recent amber alert",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For getting mad at someone who complained about a recent amber alert?
|
So here in Ontario there was recently an amber alert regarding an abducted little girl. It was sent to most people in the area in an attempt to find and save her and the guy was luckily caught and will be facing punishment. The alert went off near midnight, I was awake so I didn’t really mind, but not everyone was okay with it. This guy I saw the next day was full on upset and telling everyone how he lost his “precious sleep” over a “stupid girl” with no shame. I yelled at him, told him that the poor child died, etc. A couple people had his back and told me I shouldn’t be so butt-hurt and mind my own business, and he went on telling his friends about it. Was I in the wrong to yell at him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
5n1VLJyDpWvpDknnkKXRwznkENuIjt6t
|
b346wy
| null |
AITA- dyed my hair at boyfriends request, I hate it and blame him
|
I have long brown hair that I love and my bf for months has asked me to dye it red. I finally went and got it done and I hate it. It looks nothing like the pictures I showed the lady and I now have bright red highlights all throughout my hair. I hate this look so much. It looks like a cheap wig. I told my boyfriend I hate it, I’ve been crying all day. I’m partially blaming him for this because he asked me so many times and I would have never done it unless he asked me so many times. I came to him today crying and he says, oh it looks better than it did. I loved my hair before, I don’t want to hear that it looks better than my beautiful hair before. Tell me it looks good or nice, not better.
I feel very uncomfortable now I’m my own skin, and now something that use to bring my joy is making me so sad. I’ve never colored my hair before.
Am I the asshole for telling him “you asked me enough times to do it” when he asked if I’m blaming him for this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
wvUCI9UipTm4tFOvM6ywb2hUb6tf6S1Z
|
b1bilr
|
{
"description": "explaining my mother that the idol my sister idolize haas been found in a scandal",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for explaining my mother that the idol my sister idolize haas been found in a scandal?
|
SHORT RESUME: This is going to be more easy to understand if you have seen the last news that had been spreed about the kpop band Big Bang, more specifically one of their members) My sister is a big fan of kpop for like 5 years now, she has like a lot of bands and one of them pass to be Big Bang.
Last night,after watching some soup operas with my mother I was going out of the room when my mother interogate me about some KPOP thing going on in the news (my mom doesnt get involve a lot in the things we're into and we appreciate that because we're very private people but once in a while she get to understand one term and use it numerous times without knowing what they're)
In the news, they're were talking about the recent scandal involving a kpop artist who is **now a suspect for Sexual Escort Ring.**
**Weird enough, the soap opera my mom and I were watching was also about a sex escort agency of models so I simply explain it "He was found doing the same that happens in the telenovela".**
My mom didn't respond and I just continue my way to the bathroom just to find my sister in her way out of the bathroom, looking really angry with me.
She tend proceed to yell at me for "talking to much" and "being an awful person who can't explain anything right" (granted, i suck when I had to explain but is just becuase I tend to simplyfy things)
Today she told that she was very sad and feel betrayed becuase this idol (and many others that had been involve) had been quick out/ had leave the bands they form and that obviously is a debastating issue for a fan.
I laugh about and say what's the problem and then show her lot of jokes or memes people were already doing in Facebook and she got really annoyed because she doesn't like when people laugh of other poeple tragedies.
I also like Kpop but mostly songs and K dramas, I can't remember a single name and then to just listen what my sister is into at the moment so I feel like I dont understand her sadness becuase I'm not a "real" fan?
The good of all this is that she totally DONT defend her idol actions and I totally convice her to reproduce all her anger not in the media but to the idol who "betray" his fans.( I wish all the fnas were like that...)
TL;DR: Kpop idols get involve in prostitution scandal, sister, a kpop fa, get angry with me because I don't understand her sadness.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
pT0zz5TB1AhUdH8LbfmVMGWsn4dMVdOC
|
auir1r
|
{
"description": "calling out my english teacher for trying to push her views on us through essay questions, and saying Im \"off topic\" for disagreeing with her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for calling out my english teacher for trying to push her views on us through essay questions, and saying im "off topic" for disagreeing with her.
|
So some backstory, in my English class we are studying a text by a Nigerian women, it's basically a collection of short stories with there own characters focused around the lives on women in Africa during certain events.
We where given the essay topic
"Jumping monkey hill highlights the pressures women are placed under at the hands of men".
I chose to do the thing that every other teacher at my school recommends and agree/disagree not completely either. So I said that yes it does show that but it also shows how men can be placed under that same pressure. (As it does, it's about a group of people at a writing conference (men and women) and the old man running it is a pedophile who harras some of the women, the story rather clearly shows the men feel pressure not to say any thing as the man can provide them with opportunity. (Very clear).
I got my essay back and the teacher *corrected* my intention to be that women as supposed to what I originally said "jumping monkey hill explores how women are pressured by those around them, however it also highlights that men can face the same pressure"
She "corrected" it to not include the bit about men.
When she came over and asked me (and the rest of the table) if we had any questions about our feedback. I in no uncertain way said that I think she's wrong, and that the point of a contention is to state your interpretation, my interpretation was that and she has no right to edit that contention if it's completely related to the essay topic as it was.
Everyone at my table seemed to think I was being rude and sexist for pointing that out....
This was a practise essay but I just got the three options for our assessed essay and all three focus exclusively on women (although the story does explore things like religion, race, war, politics, immigrants and so much else) even things that could super easily be multi gender she's chosen to say only happen to women.
Am I the asshole for choosing to disagree with these topics all going along how women are the victims ect ect.
*I'm not sexism I believe in just testing everyone the same, if gender isn't needed to make a point (and imo the only time it is is when talking about physical differences) I just don't think you should make things about gender, if she was doing the same thing about men my response would be the same.*
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
vXcBMR6Jm8x0nPEALJlqR5HBp1ywGeWo
|
a3vf7l
|
{
"description": "not letting my daughter get a new coat",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting my daughter get a new coat?
|
My 6 year old daughter recently confided to her grandma (my mother-in-law) that she doesn’t like the coat that she currently has because it’s black and she wants a pink one. The coat that she has is a very nice, very warm, very expensive Columbia coat that is in perfect condition. It’s a hand-me-down from a family member which is why she didn’t get to choose the color in the first place and we can’t afford coats in that price range so I jumped at the opportunity to get her this one. This coat will easily fit her for the next 1-2 years.
Well now my mother-in-law wants to buy her a new pink coat for Christmas and I said absolutely not. While I understand she just wants her granddaughter to be happy, I’m trying to raise my children to appreciate what they have and to not have to mindset that you can just toss a perfectly good coat because it’s not your favorite color and that she should be happy that she even has a coat in the first place.
Everyone seems to think I’m being mean and I should just let her get a new coat. Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9txYL2Mi6LYr0HMpdAzaQ6ueX2GDsFwu
|
a3no4s
|
{
"description": "never giving to charity",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for never giving to charity?
|
So when I was a youngster I did an internship in a charity. During that time I learned several things about the charity business in general. Nothing secret, things that many people already know, but they were things that made me uncomfortable nonetheless and so I decided that day that I would never give money to charities ever. For reference the things that many of you already know or can guess are that:
- Only a small portion of what you give is actually used to help people.
- A big portion of what you use is used to advertise for the charity instead of directly helping people
- The advertisement is showing you more misery and poverty than the situation warrant to guilt you into giving more money. For instance I was in a charity that was helping orphans. They were pictured in the ads with dirty clothes in shabby rooms but in fact they were well taken care of with good clothes, good food, spacious individual rooms and entertainment.
- The advertisement is sometime kinda racist. For instance a charity helping children in poor neighborhood will picture cute little helpless white kids instead of kids of colors despite the fact that they represent the majority of children in this situation.
- The CEO and top managers of the most famous charities are rich AF with their huge salary paid with the donation of poor people (most people who give are poor).
- Most people working in charities see it just as another business and our donation is used as a resource to extract the most efficient way possible.
- Many of those charities have hidden political or ideological agendas I disagree with (some are against LGBT, some will help only a portion of the population by targeting an ethnicity, some will have unsavory links with a shady government, etc).
- If I give money to one of them, I wonder if my money would not be more helpful another way. What’s more important, feeding poor people or cure cancer?
- Sometime it feels like whatever the amount of money you give, it doesn’t have any impact. The world is still a shitty place and it doesn’t seems to change
- When you give money, you enter a database and you can expect to receive mails designed to guilt you for the rest of your life.
I know all about the rational and perfectly sensible answers for each of those point. Yes, charities are helpful and people should give to them. I’m not trying to convince anyone and I think that people who give are praiseworthy. But I just don’t want to be a part of it.
I have given some of my time to another charity later in my life and I’m not against giving money directly to homeless people (not everyone I cross on my road or else I would join them).
Except that I discovered that most people I know have one or two charities they give to and budget for it. When I told them I didn’t want to give money to charities they acted shocked, start arguing with me and made me feel like an asshole.
So am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
0eZbKa0EAGsz18WeVU2aKIpLAG3AbnEB
|
af2j2x
|
{
"description": "getting upset that my so other decided to start smoking",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset that my SO other decided to start smoking?
|
To set the scene a bit, I'm 27 and my girlfriend is 24. Me moved in together a few months ago, been together about a year and a half. I've always made it clear since the start of the relationship that I don't want to date smokers. She had told me she had smoked when she dated an ex years ago but she ended up not liking what it did to her. She had told me she never wants to do it again.
Lately she's been very stressed between work and financial problems. Today she told me she had bought a hooka pen. I was perplexed but said ok. Then she tells me that she also contacted someone about getting weed. Since I didn't make it clear before, weed is the one I had a problem with. Hooka I wouldn't have minded as much. Weed however is something that I don't want to do, or be in a relationship with someone that does. I didn't come right out and say that I was upset but she could tell I was annoyed and left the conversation.
Turns out she went ahead and met up with the person and bought some. She came home and could tell I was upset. I told her how I felt, stating that I told her from the start that I don't like it. She said I can't be mad at her about it, it's her decision.
Am I the asshole for getting upset here? Is it her choice and I'm overreacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
1WZKMyQNyAHcHdU8Gbpaymj4atcd6xFn
|
aonue5
|
{
"description": "telling my mom to stop helping homless people",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mom to stop helping homless people?
|
Naturally more context.
My mother has bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, I'm not sure which but something is obviously wrong.
She keeps bring sketchy homeless people to live with her and she's currently got a restraining order from the last one. He stole her stuff all the time. Threatened her, punched holes in the wall. Had her by the hair in a police stand off.
Weeks after that one is in jail she hired 2 painters working in the neighborhood paint of repairs to the house to from the last homeless guy.
She meets them that day, they paint the house, she smokes weed with them and tells her life story. Both of them hit on her, one" GETS HANDSY" with her but apparently " that's all worked out now" and she wants to start buying them hotel rooms because it'll be 16 degree F tonight.
I say that's a bad idea and that she has a history of not being able to have boundaries with these people and she's now insisted that I should support her because what she's doing is " the right thing to do".
I understand that helping the homeless is a good thing and especially when the weather is cold but come on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9oE3aY5BO93vjeM2Q2WV40ozWph5m9tr
|
aj6h8w
|
{
"description": "potentially ruining my friendship group because of dating one of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for potentially ruining my friendship group because of dating one of my friends?
|
Some context:
In December, a bunch of us went on a night out for my coursemate's 21st birthday. After a great night, I ask if two of the three friends in this group want to go back to theirs or mine (they both live together) and play Mariokart. One girl (A) invites me back and the other girl (B) is fine with it, but puts herself to bed as soon as we get back.
After talking on the couch for hours with A, and me lowkey confessing to having a crush, I then say that I'm ready to settle and sleep. She joins me on the couch, we make out, it's great. B kind of guessed what happened after seeing us on the couch together in the morning.
We both go home for Christmas and I spend most of my time talking to A, and the feelings don't go away. However, I tell A that if B is uncomfortable with this, I will stop trying to make it work. A tells me it will all be okay and to not worry.
A comes back to our uni town a day before B, so I stay over after watching movies and catching up, and eventually we fully hook up. B knows I was there the night before, but we haven't told her I stayed over in fear of her getting mad. She started being rude to A after this night, because A wasn't messaging her on command.
A has been spending more time with me, as there is a cycle of B getting angry, A getting stressed and leaving the house, meeting me and often sleeping over. B has spent the past two weeks trying to shift the blame onto A for this, saying that she feels lonely because we hang out as a duo more. I've tried my best to organise things to do as a group (with our other friend (C) too) but she has cancelled all plans suggested as she feels awkward hanging around with us.
I invited B to my house last Wednesday and essentially told some stuff that reflects on my actions for being secretive after she told me that she feels like she's being treated like an idiot for A and I not being explicit in what we are doing. I think things will return back to normal.
They won't.
B won't talk to me or even look at me. If A mentions my name, she gets defensive and acts rude to A or myself. She only talks when I'm not a part of the conversation. She barely let's A leave the house to hang out with me, and sends cruel messages to A if she's not home by a certain time. Myself, A and C have all tried to talk to B about this, and B has admitted that it's a conscious decision to be rude, telling A that she doesn't like seeing us together because it makes her feel lonely, and that she wants A to spend more time with her again. I told her multiple times if she wasn't comfortable I would stop coming onto A, but B hasn't said anything until last night, to which neither myself nor A want to stop seeing each other. But it's hurting our whole friendship group, we can't walk around as a group and I'm either silent in conversation or B refuses to hang out with us.
AITA for wanting to continue to see the person I like, knowing that it is hurting our other best friend and there is a real possibility it'll tear our friendship group apart?
TL;DR: Me and a friend started seeing each other, our other friend is really unhappy about it and won't talk to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZcCJ1RwoMaLsq3miAxmZc0mrO2C5KnVE
|
b9kl8k
|
{
"description": "not letting my friend sleep with his ex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my friend sleep with his ex
|
Ok so I’ll start with some backstory, Me and my best friend got invited to a party recently and we both decided to go and try to have some fun but he was kind of sketched out because his recent ex gf (they had a very messy break up) was also going to the same party, but I told him that we probably wouldn’t even see her. When we get there we have a good time and we both drink a fair amount, but he definitely drank more than I did. He ended up drunk while I was pretty buzzed. Next thing I know he is talking to his ex, and when I tried to stop him he told me they were just making conversation and that nothing would happen, so I let him be and talk to some other friends. I decide to go check up on him and I saw him and her entering a bedroom while holding hands. Thinking that he would definitely regret it later, I went into the bedroom and said that cops were coming to the party and we had to leave, which was the only reasonable excuse I could think of to get him out of there, and he was so drunk that I basically had to carry him to my car where we slept. The next morning he insisted that I was an asshole for not letting him get laid, even if it was his ex gf, while I insisted that he would regret it later. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
b2I5MgtY7tP24clRAOQVEHlScY6bhw4t
|
ap8pno
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for my son's lessons, while our other children get theirs paid for",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay for my son's lessons, while our other children get theirs paid for?
|
Background: My husband and I have three kids together: one from his previous marriage (17) and two from our marriage (14, 16). We obviously love them all equally, and treat them all the same. The two kids from our marriage are in out of school sports, with one getting private swimming lessons and the other being involved in drums corps, which is basically professional marching band which you pay to participate in. The one from our previous marriage had not involved in any extracurricular activities outside of school so far.
That said, my husband works at a gym that teaches all sorts of martial arts, so you can imagine how excited he was when our oldest said he wanted to start practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu! The same day our kid told us, he got it cleared with his boss and told us at dinner that his boss was perfectly okay with him training at their gym for free.
We thought he would be excited, but he was seemingly disappointed. He said he did not want to train at the same gym at my husband, because it would be weird to get lessons from him. (My husband teaches Brazilian Jiu Jitsu every other day) I think my husband was hurt by this, but told him it would be fine if he went only on the days he was teaching the cardio classes so that they wouldn't train together, but our son wasn't having it. He said it's not fair that the other kids were getting their activities paid for, and that we couldn't pay for his. I sort of see where he's coming from, I'm sure at his age it seems unfair, but my husband was not having it. He told him he should be grateful for the free lessons, and that he would be learning the same things at a gym we pay for anyways. They had an argument, and now our son is accusing us of playing favorites, as we pay for the other kids' stuff.
I'm honestly torn about the situation. Like I said, I'm sure as a teenager it may seem like getting the hand me down clothes while everyone else gets brand new stuff. At the same time, my husband insists that it would be wasteful to pay for something that is being offered for free, and I see that point. The lessons he would be getting at another gym cost around $120 a month in a class setting, and $200 plus a month for the hour and a half long private and semi private lessons he would be getting for free at my husband's gym. To play devil's advocate though, I think my husband was very hurt at our son not wanting to train with him after he got so excited about it all, and at this point is just trying to win the argument.
So Reddit, what do you think? Is it fair to stand our ground and tell him to attend my husband's gym, or is it fair to pay for lessons elsewhere? I honestly want to be fair to everyone, and make sure nobody gets their feelings hurt!
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "refusing to do what my boss asked me and not oush my product live on a friday",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to do what my boss asked me and not oush my product live on a friday?
|
I work in a type of web agency and I am the lead developer on a short list of people working in IT. As such I am just about the only person able to push our code to a production server and make it public to the world.
Yesterday (the last day I work for this company of the week) my boss comes to my desk and asks me to push the code live to the server 1 hour before my shift is done. In the IT world it is a big NoNo to push anything on a Friday since it usually means you will spend the weekend trying to get the product working if you missed any bugs in quality control tests. So I told him no and tried to explain my case.
Needless to say , it did not go well.
So Reddit, AITA for not wanting to risk having to work extra unpaid hours because my non tech savvy boss demanded me to do a risky move?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b0lt0d
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{
"description": "choosing to buy a cheaper pair of vans through a different retailer after receiving help in-store at vans",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for choosing to buy a cheaper pair of Vans through a different retailer after receiving help in-store at Vans?
|
My wife and I recently booked a 3 week trip to go to Europe this summer and have been getting new stuff in preparation. This past weekend we went to the mall to find new shoes that would be ergonomic, low profile, yet fashionable to match the few articles of clothing we’ll be bringing. Keep in mind, we’re trying to save as much as possible at this point.
We first stopped by a sports shop, saw some Nikes that almost fit the bill. I should mention upfront that when I buy stuff in-store, I occasionally check online reviews to see what the general consensus is. These first pairs we looked at apparently wear out pretty easily. So we passed on them.
After a few different other stores and no luck, we stumbled across Vans. Right away I found a pretty awesome pair of kicks that looked great. We were greeted by a super personable associate that had the exact same pair of shoes on. He told us they were comfortable and would hold up to the kind of trekking we would be doing. He grabbed me a pair and my wife a pair of the female version. He was right. They fit great and wouldn’t look awkward if I was wearing either jeans or shorts. He continued to help us out, showed me socks that would look good with the shoes, gave us more info on the shoes.
I checked out the price for both our shoes, $115 CAD each. Not bad. Could be worse, could be better.
Me, being my inquisitive self, checked out the reviews on Google to see what they said. The overall average score for the shoe was 92%. But as I was scrolling through the search results, I stumbled upon a listing of the exact same shoe for $79.99 CAD through a different retailer. This wasn’t intentional, it just happened and it struck me odd the prices would be so jarringly different.
I showed my wife, didn’t make a big deal of it. The associate asked me if I had any questions. This is pretty much where I should’ve stopped and thanked him for his help and left, but I made the mistake of asking if they price-matched other retailers. The guy was confused. Why would the Vans store have to price-match their own product? So I showed him. He said no, and seem pissed. Told me that this specific retailer wasn’t allowed to be selling the same product at that price.
I started to feel bad. We either try to save $40 or buy the pair from the sales associate. I asked if they made commission, but he didn’t outright say. By this point, my wife and I had decided on these shoes. So we decided to get her shoes at here and buy mine online.
As we walked away, I asked my wife if IWTA in that situation. She didn’t say anything and just shrugged. Still feel like I should’ve tipped the guy for helping my wife and I, but we never carry cash on us.
This post is probably a non-issue. But wanted to get your guys’ take on this. Would you guys have done the same thing? AITA? I’ve also been in retail positions were I did and didn’t make commission. I’ve even sold shoes at one point too. Definitely felt bad about this though.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a5x1nt
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{
"description": "still having resentment over this person who reported me in school for being a creepy stalker",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for still having resentment over this person who reported me in school for being a creepy stalker
|
I used to fancy this girl a year below me, and at one point I decided to step up my game a bit and tried to flirt and hang out with her. Later on, as it was around time for my exams, I decided to like and comment on her *recent* posts, such as any pictures that she uploaded and all. Not all of them are pictures of her, but sometimes its animals and just photography, you get the point. Anyways, so I decided to like her pictures and leave witty comments to show off and all. She didn't respond, but her friends did and they were shipping us together, all's good right?
Then shit hits the fan when a few days later, the chemistry teacher who I'm close with (I don't do chemistry myself) approached me and told me to stop pursuing my then crush because she and her two best friends told the chemistry teacher about my actions and dubbed it "stalking" and "creepy".
I don't know about you all, but me almost getting in trouble during a critical time of my life, which is exams, could be devastating to my future, since I don't want to be expelled from school for having an attraction to someone else and showing it.
Afterwards, I just stopped talking to her and to this day I still feel resentful towards what happened, I don't interact with her but I do tell people who ask "why don't I hang out or talk to her" this story.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b512pz
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{
"description": "leaving a game 'early' to go to bed",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving a game 'early' to go to bed
|
So, last night my family and I and a family of 6 who are family friends were playing a game (11 of us in total) which isnt very serious and no scoring involved, just a but of fun. Bare in mind here i had already lost out for being forced into a pair with the youngest person in the group as they thought it would be 'funny' (she is also a different gender to me).
Side note: 8 player game with 11 people, why do we have to be in pairs!
So around 30 mins after the game i decided i was tired and would like to go to bed, i had rugby early in the morning and it was near midnight.(Also we all had been on a 4 hour walk earlier and i had washed 2 cars). But everyone then started attacking me calling me a 'bad host' and 'its rude to leave early, before the game has finished'! I was pretty pissed off at this point so i just left and said goodnight.
Confronted my parents about it just now and they started saying i was the asshole and shouldn't have done that. Totally disagree. Asking here, just for other peoples' opinions.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b10lu1
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{
"description": "uninviting my friend from my house over spring break",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for uninviting my friend from my house over spring break?
|
Firstly, I'm very new to this sub, so please let me know if I'm breaking any rules or leaving anything important out.
Kinda long backstory that I apologize for, but I think is all relevant:
It's my first semester ever at college, and I meet this really awesome guy named Tyler. We end up spending nearly all of our free time together but, unlike me Tyler is an out of state student. Eventually, I learn he wouldn't be able to go home nearly all year because of how expensive airfare was. Naturally, as we become closer friends, I get the idea to invite him to my house for spring break because 1) that sounded awesome 2) why the hell not?
Fast forward, and my relationship with my high school friends that also go to this college is kind of collapsing. I always knew all of us were going to try and make our own lives in college, but they were also the people I had such deep relationships with for four years. And now they were now blowing off plans and and just getting so distant so fast. This set me off on the horrible idea of uninviting Tyler, because I desperately needed my home to feel like home, and as great as Tyler was, that just wouldn't be completely authentic with him there.
Unfortunately, I've been going back and forth on this for so long, by now it's like three days before everybody leaves for break. I go knock on his door and muster my courage to tell him. Unfortunately, its not until it's too late that I remember him saying a few days ago that he's also been missing his home a lot more than he expected, but he can't even talk to his parents about it because he doesn't want them to know how hard it's hitting him.
But again, the deed is done, and he even gives me an out. He says he gets what I'm feeling and while he obviously would prefer to go with me, he's not going to force the decision if I obviously feel uncomfortable with it.
To come to the present, this is where it gets kind of brutal. The first time we meet up after break, I can tell the energy just isn't there. He then tells me that his break was really, really horrible. There were definitely more awful experiences, but in summary, for the first week or so, he stopped regularly eating and sleeping, and pretty much didn't leave his bed all day. He also had a panic attack and kind of an overall depressive episode over being so homesick and very much alone for two weeks.
Obviously in hindsight, I would've never uninvited him or taken his out, had I known how awful his break would've been, but I had to prioritize myself at the time.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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vbA72e0YhiFxUx5V0sMYSpv5ZMqTWZtT
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afy72n
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{
"description": "breaking up with my gf about blood donation",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For breaking up with my gf about blood donation?
|
I'm a blood donator and this discussion is dating about half a year back and is going on from when my gf found out that I donate blood.
She has her own opinion about donating based on anegdotal stories she heard from her family - and is strongly against it.
According to her, some members of her family did not recive blood units that they needed and she didn't try explaining me properly why (my understanding is that they "weren't high priority" or some sort of that) altrough they are all alive, very well being and I saw them myself.
She also believes that colected blood is beeing sold thorugh gov. agencies and that it doesn't reach people that need it.
Ever since she found out about me donating, she's been pressuring me to stop my donations. I say "alright I understand that you don't trust donations help people, but can you please collect some evidence about it and I will gladly discuss it with you and if you have the stronger point I will stop". She says "fine". Time passes and she haven't done any research, didn't talk to mentioned damaged family members and haven't gone to any local colector institution to inform herself about donation.
Don't get me wrong, there is lot of foul things going on in our society and I understand that. It just sounds a little bit ridiculous to me that there is conspiracy aimed at us for milking our blood. Yes I know that system is not working perfect and bad things tend to happen for time to time, but seriously, this?
I believe that percentage of donors is small and that it's the main problem with availability. It makes me happy when I help people, it makes me feel good, it's healthy for me and I want to be the part of the solution not the problem.
The climax happend today when I wanted to go to donation appointment and she says "If you go there today I'm afraid that this will not work out and I have to part ways with you". Which means that she set me an ultimatum, don't donate - or i will brake up with you. "It makes me sad that my grandma and aunt are suffering and they won't give them blood" (which I still don't understand exact cause for, since she didn't bother to explain me, they are well and don't have any health problems as far as I know). I said that I gave her the opportunity to convince me and offered my full cooperation. She tortures me with this for months without giving me any evidence and it really tires me to have arguments based on personal feelings and not facts although I really sympathisize with her relatives situation, but I cannot stop helping people just bc someone's story. She says "forget the facts and evidence, if you loved me you will do it for me". And it bugs me that again she plays on emotional card and condition me emotionally.
I decided to stand my ground. My thought process went like this: my political and moral opinions are mine, nobody has the right to blackmail into changing them and I don't do either, you offered me no space to change my mind and didn't bring any evidence into argument - just feelings, you ask for me to make a change yet you are not open for compromise, you are ready to put our relationship on the line bc you only consider your feels, ok I will let you have it.
I say "If you are ready to break up over something like this, then it's a measure of how much you appreciate our relationship. If you are ready to extort me emotionally for anything let alone this simple situation then I won't stand this. I am going out now and you have time to calm down and think".
I later returned and asked her if she changed her mind, she continued to try and make me feel guilty bc "I don't respect her feelings". At this point I am broken and can't handle situation calmly anymore so I say it's over and that I'm sorry it had to come to this..
So am I really TAH for respecting my self enough not to let someone emotionally extort me and ignore red flags or am I trippin?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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apom5d
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate's friend to shut up",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA for telling my roommate’s friend to shut up ?
|
Ok so I live in a small apartment and have one other person I live with, we will call him Billy. He has a friend that I would say Im acquainted with at this point, we will call him Jake.
Jake comes over at around 7 p.m. last night to record music with Billy. Billy is on his PlayStation playing a video game so Jake starts talking to me when I already say I have to do stuff around the apartment. I’m ok with it at first because I’m in the laundry room doing laundry, but then I’m in my room. Jake decides to follow me to my room and continue to talk to me while I’m cleaning up and this is where I start to get slightly annoyed. I’m only slightly reciprocating within the conversation and hoping he will take the hint. Another hour goes by and Jake has still not taken the hint that I don’t want to talk anymore already saying I’m going out to get food, which he then invites himself to. We get back and he’s still talking my ear off while I’m eating. At this point it’s been almost two hours and I’m sitting on the couch because I know if I go to my room he will follow me unless I say I’m going to bed , which I had no intention to. I am giving him almost no responses with a head nod every once in a while to not be completely rude. Eventually he finally leaves because my roommate grabs his attention , but this is not the first time this has happened.
WIBTA for telling him to shut up so he knows it’s not ok to talk my ear off for hours ?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
9yux8c
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{
"description": "telling my group to work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my group to work
|
Freshman in college. I'm in a group with nice people but end up doing most of the work (used to it from high school too). First presentation only one other person made their slides, I did everything else. Well I think the others did some things like 10 minutes before that preso. For the first one though the others somehow researched their parts and what to say well. So, second project is here. Before I got to it only 3 slides done, including title. So knowing what happened last time I added like 7-8 slides. But it's a big project, worth a lot. I realized I had nothing more I could add but we still wouldn't meet the time requirements. I was still pretty upset at them for doing the same thing the time before so I message the group chat like this:
(Also right before someone said they made a reference slide- they literally left an empty slide saying reference and I then went and filled it in. That was kinda what did it)
"Please try to add some stuff guys. I added the references to the empty reference slide, and I've done most of the slides we have now. [Girl] is fine, did a couple good slides, but I haven't seen you others do anything, same thing happened with the previous one."
Message pt 2:
"I do understand that with the last one though you did do some research for your speaking part, but I still expect you to add things"
So now I feel kinda bad, and also that i should have started earlier too. But luckily that worked and they all (well, almost) got to it and we're going to meet all requirements now. I still wish I was less harsh and I'm not surprised if they're all a little upset with me. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ROSsUQ5zrw2ayfoUF8jTEeQ9JO0ZPhl3
|
a1gj74
|
{
"description": "reporting drug addicts to my police friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for reporting drug addicts to my police friend?
|
At our school we have a police officer assigned who makes sure everyone is ok. I overheard some kids in the playground speaking about drugs and using them. I took a stand and let my police friend know. He had the drugs taken away and will be speaking to the kids parents. He told me I did a great job.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
ytoBxGaCYI8lbwvRIYCEEFb6FanaDdbC
|
amwwtv
|
{
"description": "cutting my mom, and siblings out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting my mom, and siblings out of my life?
|
My mother and father were never married and never intended to have to, when I was around 2 my mom went to prison and my dad one custody of me, never heard from her till I was around 13 years old and met her for the first time around 15. I’d go visit her and my siblings on holidays and a few other times thru out the year everytime I was there the conversations felt very forced and uncomfortable to have so I decided to just stop seeing them I never gave them a reason for it or anything just stopped and have felt extremely guilty for it ever since
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b09w3d
|
{
"description": "making jokes about my wife with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 72
}
|
AITA for making jokes about my wife with my friends?
|
Longtime lurker here. Anyway, I've been married a year and a half, and when I'm with friends I like to make wife jokes, like you'd see on Married with Children, the ball and chained, no sex kinds of jokes, you know what i mean. It's been no issue between me and my friends, they make the same jokes about their GFs, its just banter and venting mild annoyances about our partners.
Anyway, I tend to keep my time with her and that with my buddies separate, just like it that way. Cause of that she isn't up to speed with our inside jokes and when we started making wife jokes she sort of sunk into her chair. I made one about her, looked over at her and she was sort of crying.
I took her outside and asked her what the problem was and she went on about how "it's not cool for me to shittalk her, and that I seem to hate her or something" when I make "slightly offensive" jokes about her to my buds. I told her it's all jokes but she said "it's disrespectful to make fun of her like that" and that we were sexist for all joining in joking about our GFs.
I sort of got annoyed and told her this is why I don't bring her out with my friends, she got pissed, called a cab and went home. I went back to my friends, but when I got home she wouldn't let me touch her. This was yesterday, since me and my friends had a few days off at the same time, and she's been kind of off ever since.
I personally think it's no big deal that i make simple jokes, but she thinks they are really hurtful apparently, and she seems upset with me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
ElmN0N9R2Nwe28ve3LNzN5J9Lxw3cbsl
|
akg34q
|
{
"description": "wanting to set conditions for the house that is under my name for my girlfriend and her family",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to set conditions for the house that is under my name for my girlfriend and her family.
|
My girlfriend and her mom have been wanting to get out of this shitty house they have lived in for the past 10 or so years. I am up for that, I want them out of a house that is falling apart. My girlfriend started looking at house a few months ago and this is where the fights started. Her family is not financially well and our looking at $100,000 and above houses. She asked if I could put the house under my name, i told her i'm not sure. There where some small fight about it as we dealt it out. She applied for a house herself, and got rejected due to being a DACA, she applied to a program for DACA and got rejected for not having credit. Her mom can not apply due to her credit and status, her sisters credit is shot, and her dad is not going to help. I was the last choice for them to get a decent house. I said yes that i would do it and started the process. She said we will sign a contract to make sure that they will be liable for the house payment ans that it would only be under my name. Today i came to her and told her i would like to add a condition to if it was going to be under my name, that they only put what money was necessary in the house to live in and focus more on the payments then redoing the whole house as she wanted to do. She got upset and told me that it was there house, that i don't trust her family, and im covering my self as that's all i care about. She said forget it and are now looking a breaking up. I want them to get the house, but i have let her family borrow around $5,000 and have not seen but a little of it back. Im not worried about getting the money back as i known they don't have it. I just don't want my credit to go down and them to lose another house.
There is more it then this, but this was the best way i could sum it up. Thank you.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
33p2etIDdnv9GetLx9NsoiBSVAXPYAFe
|
9zr6y4
|
{
"description": "buying gifts that I can use too",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For Buying Gifts That I Can Use Too?
|
For clarity, I still live at home currently and I am involved in the household and the farm that I live on. Every year I go out with the meager amount of money I make during the year to buy gifts for the holiday season, just like any other poor college kid. However, when I look for gifts for my father, or my grandfather, etc., I look for something that they AND I can use. For example, last year I got my dad a big socket set and some various other tools knowing damn well that I was going to use them later on the tractors and cars and what not. For my dear old gramps I got a few woodworking chisels and stuff because he loves to do a lot of wood turning, but I also needed new chisels for some of my personal projects. And for my siblings I bought some used Xbox games that I knew both of us really wanted. Am I an asshole for shopping like this?
|
HISTORICAL
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
0zfo1khw5suC6rZJD85fwHMq63OjJuEG
|
ap7ftw
|
{
"description": "asking my mother to leave me alone",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my mother to leave me alone?
|
So about an hour ago my mom came out of her bedroom and walked up to me crying. We have been going through a cervical cancer scare so I was prepared for the worst, but then she says that she is an alcoholic and needs help.
This was pretty apparent to me since she was almost always consistently drunk. She cried for an hour on my shoulder, and I kept on repeating the typical shit, you're not a bad mother, it's ok, there's help you can get, etc. As I said before, this went on for over an hour. Before she came out, though, I ordered food through door dash since there was nothing in the house and I had to go pick it up.
I don't know whether or not you've guys have been through this but trying to support your mother for over an hour while she cries is pretty fucking emotionally taxing. By the time she went back into her bedroom the food was here, and I got it and went into the kitchen to have some time to myself. I just needed some time alone to just eat my lunch. She stumbles out of her bedroom and into the kitchen, looks at me, and starts crying again. This is the part where I really wonder if I was the asshole. She starts asking me if she was a bad mother, like over and over again, telling me to say yes, and I just got sick of it. I told her I didn't have the headspace for this shit and that I'd like to eat my lunch by myself. She just mumbled "ok" and went back into her bedroom. AITA?
Also, this just happened and I'm eating my lunch right now, so feel free to ask questions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
9eHCEhd1LyTSbG3CH7Qic5HY0vojlOec
|
anvjjo
|
{
"description": "holding my friend's stuff until he paid me back",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I held my friend's stuff until he paid me back (READ BEFORE YOUR DOWNVOTE)
|
TL;DR at the bottom
So, I live in close proximity to a comic shop and I and my friends love comics, they live far away so they tell their order, give me the money sometimes before or after, I have a friend who owes me about 39.75$, which is a decent amount at our age.
He's been paying recently, but he still knows as I've brought it up SO many times and he hasn't paid me, so WIBTA if I kept his order of 49$ and the money he already paid me, until he pays me back, I've considered it so many times, just don't know if that be a dick move.
My other two friends think it's a good idea because he owes them as well.
TL;DR Friend owes me money, so I consider holding is 50$ and 50$ order until he pays me back. WIBTA?
SO, WIBTA for keeping the books and the money until he pays me back the 40$?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TTwiOlZbtASP58llqaSLpvrErow4PzSm
|
9wrjca
|
{
"description": "not wanting to work after my two weeks",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to work after my two weeks?
|
I work at a small local restaurant who desperately needs workers. I’ve been there for about a month but I ultimately decided to quit because I have another job that pays better and I’m exhausted all the time. Also the kitchen smells like cigarettes and there’s a language barrier. I put in my two weeks notice a week ago and my boss just told me that I have to work indefinitely until they find my replacement to which I said no. I work with my friend and he thinks I should have to help them out because they’re so understaffed. AITA for saying no?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Y8JHMksBJcg5MUE3oyBmGZUwFn5up7kz
|
a0yp28
|
{
"description": "picking sides in arguments on a Discord Server I own",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for picking sides in arguments on a Discord Server I own?
|
So, I own a Discord server and there is a lot of arguing on the server. So there are three main people in these arguments, Me and two other guys. Let’s call them Bob and Joe. So Bob is involved in every single argument on the server. Usually when there is an argument between Bob, Joe, and I I tend to side with Joe. It’s not necessarily because I don’t like Bob but I genuinely agree with Joe. Bob has recently been getting upset because me (the owner) has been siding with Joe. He says I always take his side and I abuse my power during arguments. What he’s talking about is when he starts spamming the chat and I turn on slowmode. Joe is a mod and Bob isn’t so Joe isn’t affected, and Bob thinks that I’m doing that to allow Joe to get his arguments in without Bob being able to say his.
Am I the asshole for picking sides on the server that I own or not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
E7SxnNkhgrvE6m4KepDeJTEJqL64jnKV
|
a1ecb6
|
{
"description": "spending most of my time with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for spending most of my time with my boyfriend
|
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little while now and it’s very serious and we have made a lot of future plans together. Before we started dating I only had a few friends and my “best friend” lived in another town about an hour away from me so it wasn’t too far but it wasn’t like I could just go to her house at anytime and stay for a couple hours and go home. All my other friends either lived in that same town or I wasn’t close enough with them to really invite them over or go to their houses. Since I met my boyfriend and we started actually getting super attached to each other we’ve been spending ever day together when he isn’t working and even when he is he usually comes over to my house when he’s done (I’ve pretty much stopped seeing that specific friend all together for distance reasons and for other personal reasons). The thing I’m most worried about is that I’m also not spending enough time with my family. I don’t live with my parents (long story) so my grandparents took me in and they’re very supportive of mine and his relationship but at the same time I feel like I’m taking them for granted a little bit by not coming home after school and getting home pretty late at night. Again they’re very supportive and really like my bf however the only time I spend time with them is when he is working. AITA for not seeing them very much?
TL;DR- I only really spend time with my bf and feel like I might be taking my grandparents for granted
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XpOeP1TwKiLTvsTn35hhXKEGEMmiBXFU
|
atzlzs
| null |
AITA - Is it me or my boss and should I find a new job?
|
I really like what I do, in theory. I don't want to go into much detail, and I made a throw-away account for this. That's how much I like my job, I guess.
My boss, though, lately, has put a lot on me. He likes to over-promise things to new clients, so there's a lot on me there with trying my best to meet unrealistic client expectations. I read all the resumes and do all the testing and on-boarding. And he just asked for the resignation of the director of the other two divisions, so I'm doing workflow (and work itself) for all four, and doing payroll and helping with billing, answering phones, etc.
All for $16.75/hour and no benefits.
So I've screwed up twice, this being my first week running all four divisions. I honestly didn't mean to, it's just a lot, and my boss literally accused me of conspiring against him earlier. It feels like too much. Feedback is very welcome.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2PaG2AsBk0dXCEq6PvBxkco9NMI3TXKE
|
9v1wco
|
{
"description": "cutting contact my friend after getting turned down when I brought up a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cutting contact my friend after getting turned down when I brought up a relationship?
|
A couple of my friends and I had a bit of a get together over the weekend, and my friend was going to be there. We'd been spending more time together, flirting, etc and hinting at each other, so I thought this would be the obvious time to ask her out. Full disclosure, we'd already slept together multiple times at this point. When I brought it up, she said no, that she's not ready for a relationship, and would like to keep things casual. I told her that I'm not interested in casual, that obvious feelings have developed, but that's okay, because we're both adults and can make decisions. I haven't really spoken to her since, and it's starting to make me wonder if I'm being an asshole for avoiding her, as she has been my closest friend for the greater part of a decade. One of our mutual friends also went behind my back and told her that I've slept with an old FWB since the weekend, further poisoning the well.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
pAbXTRDNFsVzJAQP40ZGCjSR0uabZOvt
|
aqpb3l
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for a ticket for a concert I wasn't planning on going to",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay for a ticket for a concert I wasn’t planning on going to?
|
Long story short: my friend’s older sister reaches out to me and asks if I’d be interested in going to a concert with friend for friend’s birthday. The sister says “I want her to enjoy the concert with one of her friends which is why I’m reaching out to you can you help me plan”. I say yes, I’d be happy to go and I can also host friend since I live in a major city where artist will be performing. Friend’s sister then asks if I’d be willing to pay for my own ticket. AITA for saying no? I haven’t responded yet but I felt like the sister’s first message made it sound like she was covering both my friend and I’s ticket. Also some background: I’m a current student working to cover living expenses and it’s not in my budget currently to drop $200+ on a concert I wouldn’t have gone to if the scenario wasn’t what it is. Friend’s sister is much older and established so to her this probably doesn’t seem like an issue. Friend has no idea yet, this is a surprise. I want her to have a good time, but I don’t want her to think (if she finds out this was an option and I said no) that I don’t value her friendship. She’s also a student so she understands the struggle but I’d appreciate some objective feedback, thanks!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
44dFYtN4plyUc0hvQQlDGxwAL5jfZVXz
|
avz7pr
|
{
"description": "publicly leaking a story about a 'mean girl'/bully who just became slightly famous",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA if I publicly leak a story about a 'mean girl'/bully who just became slightly famous?
|
The 'award' story reminded me of this incident. Somewhat similar. And I imagine I'll probably be met with more backlash compared to that. Disregard the username though it's a throwaway from a while back when I didn't really know what the word meant.
The full story definitely won't fit, but the watered down version - I was one of those unpopular kids back in middle/high school, invisible to girls. People used to make jokes about 'why don't you hook up with FNI', as well.
Around senior year, four girls from middle school randomly 'reconnected' with me, one of which feigned interest - it didn't go as far as a fake relationship, but they were particularly seductive and flirty and one of them actually did feign interest, which I ended up falling for and pursuing. Long story short I found out they did it all 'for kicks', due to an informant showing stuff being said.
Sorry to do this, but anyone who asks INFO - full detailed story [here](https://np.reddit.com/r/IncelTears/comments/8rryrc/i_had_an_incel_mentality_all_through_highschool/e0wu90b/?context=3), since I know it won't fit.
So, without giving too much detail, 'Natalie' from my story just became somewhat famous. Well I don't know if that's the word, but she does have a slight following and is looked up to, in certain circles, mostly local but some not. She presents herself as a 'virtuous' type giving the image of someone with compassion for others.
That kind of is unsettling for me and while I know it's not the same, I imagine it's the same kind of 'unsettling' when women from the MeToo movement see someone who wronged them having a following. After all, actions should have consequences, especially cruel ones. I know it's a silly story that few will care about, but there's always those outlets that will look for a story out of anything. I know I will probably get backlash as well and it probably won't be effective, but at least it will be satisfying to have some people know that and to have that story come up on the second page when googling her name, even if few will care.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
lHC8xIbkVWoel7WgLXXkiZv3fe3NP7t8
|
aiu452
|
{
"description": "disliking friend after family member passed",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for disliking friend after family member passed?
|
Back in October, my great aunt unfortunately passed away due to complications with bone cancer. She was in her seventies though, and she had accepted her death. Before her passing was actually really sweet, but we're not here to talk about that. Obviously I'm heartbroken, but I still need to go to school. Now keep in mind, this is my first year in high school. I was never a very popular kid, and only one of my close friends came to the school I went to, so I was kinda buddy-buddy with everyone, but there was this particular girl I was close with. We'll call her Rose (not her real name). Rose was strange and not the brightest bulb in the bunch. She is still childish and once threw a full on temper tantrum in gym, flailing limbs and everything. But I liked her. I told her about what happened, and she offered condolences, etc.
Cut to gym. We're warming up and I'm messing with her, maybe annoying her, idk. Then she turns to me and says
"Why can't you just be sad about your dead aunt?"
which I interpreted as
"I'm glad your aunt died."
I was PISSED and told her so. She was already integrated in my small clique with a few other people I connected with, so I couldn't just ignore her. We were close-really close-and we totally lost the connection after that. But while recounting the story to a friend, I realized something. Maybe she didn't mean that with any ill-intent. Like I said, Rose is weird. I don't think she's autistic, but if she said she had some sort of high-functioning autism, I would only be mildly surprised. I'm wondering if I was being over-emotional and misinterpreted it. Rose isn't the most well-liked at our school, so I wanted someone with no bias. So reddit, AITH?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qAQJTiJTdP5Ra2dnnqL4f9gnG5OduqkW
|
am9xi7
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do volunteering for a competition with my class",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to do volunteering for a competition with my class?
|
What's going all everyone, long time lurker, first time poster in this subreddit.
Ya'll always end up making the front page, so it's not to actually have a reason to jump into the mess. That being said, let's get to it.
I'm in paramedic school at a private college, this is my second time attending. My first attempt through I had been out of school for years (I'm late twenties), and was a garbage student when I was attending high school, so I was figuring out a lot of kinks on how to study, what was even my preferred method of studying, and so on. Plus the passing mark is an
80%, so the shit is no joke.
Anyways, this is my second time in. I'm busting my ass, feeling good, and doing well on my tests. Because it's a private college it's kind of run like a high school class, with a class representative to bring things to the facility vice everyone going at once (there's usually some test questions debated and I think this is their way of narrowing the amount of people who harass them about it). That being said, there's two classes in the school right now, each with their own respected class representative. Unfortunately, the class rep in the other class likes to get his ego stroked. So he challenged our class to a bet that "whoever gets media coverage through volunteering in the community wins.. something", they didn't actually decide what up for grabs, but it's not important.
So our class representative comes back to us, all gung-ho about the idea. People are rallying behind it, thinking it's a good idea - except me. Volunteering isn't apart of the course load. This course has an insanely high passing mark and we only have 6 months of class time to learn everything about the role, and then we're onto ride-a-longs with career medics being assessed. It's insanely stressful. I don't want to volunteer the little time that I do have for mental sanity to try and combat some asshole who has an ego issue. Not to mention we don't even have our uniforms yet, so it makes our options very limited. At this point, I was debating posting on our Facebook group (dead platform, I know, but it's the easiest form of communication), basically saying I'm against the idea and I'll donate money just not my time, for reasons stated above.
TL;DR: Am I the asshole if I don't want to volunteer for media coverage + a bet, and use my time to study or enjoy my own free time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XK7YQofn8JBym4x6sONLd7lcE1eEsBW2
|
ajewrs
|
{
"description": "not liking some of the relationship my Gf has with her gay bf",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not liking some of the relationship my Gf has with her gay bf.
|
Ok so ive being going out with my gf for like a month and a half and shes not exactly the nudes sending kinda person even to me and im okay with that i understand her not being comfortable with that kinda stuff but shes is perfectly ok doing sexual things in person. Anyway she was telling me how her gbf(Gay Best Friend) was showing her the right way to put on a condom but he was using his own penis as the object he put the condom on, now straight away i found this a little weird but i wasnt goin to argue but then while we were still talking about it shes said that she send him nudes too sometimes and that its just what they do like not sexuallly and i just get annoyed at this. I understand he is gay but still i feel like if shes goin to send anyone nudes shouldnt it be me, and i say this and argue that if i had a lesbian bf i woukdnt send her nudes but this fall on deaf ears and she becomes annoyed at me for not liking her relationship with her gbf. I dont see why she would want to send him nudes and if im the asshole for not liking her relationship with her gbf.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
49IoR0rHqjnfOGnAzltq8GRfV6Q8ePAF
|
arzbpu
|
{
"description": "refusing to drive my mom to the hospital",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For refusing to drive my mom to the hospital?
|
So I turned 18 almost a year ago, got my licence and bought a car with the money I saved up from working while studying high school.
I started college and decided to quit my job as the hours were too much and I wasn't able to focus on my studies. I found a different job that pays a lot less but I can choose when I want to work and for how long (as long as I meet the minimum hours required each month). Now this job pays just enough for me to be able to afford gas and food and occasional buy something for myself.
In the first few months, my mom would ask me to drive her to the city as we live in a village 17KM (10 miles) away. It was usually only once or twice a month and I didn't mind doing it, so I never complained.
Three months ago, my mom went to the doctors and they discovered she has something wrong with her kidneys and needs dialysis 3 times a week. She feels fine and everything, she doesn't really talk about it with me so I don't know much, but she seems to be doing just fine.
In the first month, my mom made me drive her to every single appointment. Now dialysis can take up to 4 hours, so I had to drive her there, drive back home, drive back to get her and drive her home. Already in the first month, I felt the strain on my finances. I had a bit saved up so I was fine and didn't tell her, after all, she was sick.
At the end of the 2nd month, I ran out of money, couldn't afford food and had to take the bus to get to school, which takes about 90 minutes (almost an hour longer than when I drive there). I told my mom that if she wants me to keep driving her, she has to give me money for gas, else I won't be able to do it anymore. She told me that she's my mother and she keeps a roof over my head (even though she told me she doesn't want me moving out until I'm done with school) so I can't ask her to pay for the gas as well. So I kept giving her rides.
Last week, I got held up at school working on a project and got home a lot later than I usually do. My mom freaked out and spent 30 minutes screaming at me about how irresponsible I am and that she missed the appointment because of me. I told her that she could've taken the bus, which she doesn't have to pay for because she qualifies as a retiree (anyone over 65 in my country). I told her that if she wants me to keep giving her rides, she has to pay or she should take the bus.
She hasn't spoken to me since, my sister sent me very angry messages about how selfish and spoiled I am, how this behavior is unacceptable and how I should try and be a better son.
So, AITA for not driving my mom?
​
tl;dr my mom wants me to drive her to the hospital 3 times a week, refuses to pay for gas and I can't financially handle it so I told her to use the bus instead.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
EvStTOBkF7ESqRqb5bBmneNrZ6ULMhza
|
b19fh2
|
{
"description": "asking my roleplay partner to do some of my ideas instead of only theirs",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my roleplay partner to do some of my ideas instead of only theirs?
|
Mobile poster here, sorry for any issues! Tldr at bottom, would like to hear HONEST feedback!
Im an avid roleplayer who enjoys lengthy roleplays and multi fandom roleplays!
I have a current roleplay partner who has a lot of common interest with me, and we have a lot of universes we've made over the past year and a half maybe?
The only issue im finding is that they like to suddenly drop roleplays, ignore my characters if they dont feel like interacting with that specific character, or turn down my ideas.
On the other hand, if they want to roleplay xyz, and i suggest something else, they essentially respond with
"But im really feeling like rping xyz ;3;"
I ussually cave and settle, but it gets frustrating when im the one saying "im really feeling xyz" and they kinda just ignore it and say "im not feeling it"
Its frustrating and i havent brought it up yet, because i feel like an asshole for even thinking that.
On a diffrent kinda situation, they really like to ship their characters with their own characters... and roleplay those scenes when we are interacting.
Multiple character relationships have been destroyed because they decided that "my other character is dating my character soandso!"
I dont want to bring anything up if im the asshole, but its getting REALLY frustrating and i dont feel like im asking a whole lot from them...
Tldr: roleplay friend likes stuff done their way, brushes stuff off when i ask to do stuff my way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
s2hLS3raKVkznsX9hWatZhyhtHur7TNL
|
b4q8mu
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with someone that only wants to be friends on their terms",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with someone that only wants to be friends on their terms
|
Terms may not be the correct word but in my mind it fits the situation. Slight backstory in that we became friends 5 years ago but stopped talking, then for just over the last year we began talking again.
When I say terms on the friendship it’s because it seems very one-sided, any time I ask if they want to go see a movie, get food, or hangout in general it’s always met with different excuses.
We talk on snapchat and WhatsApp but at times they seem to just disappear for a day, maybe 2 and sometimes as much as a week before either replying or starting a new conversation.
Anyway, onto the asshole part, around Christmas I decided ‘if they want to be friends they’ll make the effort’ and it worked because I got a message about a month after I stopped putting in my effort asking ‘did you die?’
For a while it changed and now it’s back to the same but this time I think it’s about to be at the stage where I metaphorically die and just stop trying to be friends with someone who only wants to meet up when it suits them, they don’t want to be alone, or have nobody else to talk to
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pYqUZpvzge0TO2KcwjhwKK3HpnaFqTFk
|
b3gupe
|
{
"description": "kicking all of my roommates out",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for kicking all of my roommates out?
|
I’m in college and I moved in a house with my girlfriend and 2 of her friends this this past year. The house is very close to campus and it’s cheap. It’s a great setup.
Anyways, my girlfriend and I broke up around December. There’s no fucking way I want to live with her let alone her friends again next year.
I’m assuming they’re all gonna say “why don’t you just move out?”
My reason for the authority to kick them out goes like this. I actually already signed the pre-lease that begins in June and only included my name and my fathers name (needed a parent on the lease)
My plan is to kick them all out and move my friends in. They have until August to find another place to live.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
zrSucZS9t9pWSvkH9rWYBYsPIuitHpVh
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aphyml
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{
"description": "leaving a potential threesome after yelling at both of them",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving a potential threesome after yelling at both of them
|
It's fucking long so skip to the end for a tldr.
Okay okay this just happened. Met this girl on tinder, we both had rainbow flags on our bio. We matched and had a great conversation! She invited me over to have a smoke (Mary Jo) and I told her I'm looking for people my age to hang out with and chill cause I'm in a new town and I got no friends. She was like omg yeah I would love to hang out with you etc etc! We met up after work and I felt her good vibes! I was happy, she was happy!
We kept talking all the way to her place and she tells me she has a distant cousin who lives with her who's a guy and whether I'm okay with that! Hell yeah I'm okay with that, more friends the merrier.
So, we get to her place, the guys isinteresting enough. He asked me for my birthday and coincidencently it was the same birthday as his. I called him a liar jokingly but he said he can prove it and if he proved it I'll have to kiss him. I was like er but I was stupid and I agreed. He showed his birth certificate from him phone and it was the same birthday so he kissed me and said I can't go back on my word. So we kissed and then the girl who went to take a shower came out and I excused myself to talk to her.
Anyways it wasn't a smoking session that was planned apparently but instead a drinking session. Okay fine, we had a shot of tequila and then he told her to make some more drinks like being the ice, pour that much, cut the limes, wash the cups etc etc. Of course she did everything without a word. It's not my place to judge their relationship so whatever.
So things get heated, he tells her to kiss me but she said she needs to get tipsier and I told her it's fine I'm not gonna force her, then he goes "don't be pussy and just kiss her" so she does. Okay fine, I don't mind kissing a beautiful girl. Then his hands are on my boobs and he squeezes them so hard it really fucking hurts! I broke away from them and asked them to chill out.
Doesn't last long, he's back on me and so is she. I get that it's their kink or whatever but I just don't feel good about it. He bites my nipple really hard and she moaning on top of me and I feel his hand edging down my pants. So I pull his hand away and tell them both that sex is off the table and nothing below the belt is gonna happen.
They agree and more kissing takes place. He suggests we go to the bedroom. I say no no no no bedroom,.lets just chill on the couch. There's a good roast chicken waiting for us so I just wanted to eat and hang out like normal fucking people. But he carries me to the bed and at this point they're both kissing me all over and he hurt me again so I pushed him away. At that point he started taking my pants off.
That's when I lost it. I told them that was enough! I got out of the bed and told him he was a fucking weirdo and yelled at both of them. Told her to get out of such a toxic relationship and told him that his doctor title doesn't give him any right to do whatever the fuck his wants. She was clearly embarrassed (for me I guess since I was just yelling) and he started yelling at me like "what the fuck is wrong with you you bitch stop being such a loser etc etc" and told me to gtfo. I said I would gladly. Told her that all I wanted was a friend not a threesome two hours after I met her. And then I left.
Before I left, he told me that he had connections where I worked and that I shouldn't yell. I asked him if he was threatning me he said "no. I'm just saying". Told him to have a good life. As I got into the cab he tells me "I'm not on social media because I'm on Google".
Okay wow this was long sorry. Anyway, I feel terrible. For me, for this girl. For the way I acted. For the way they acted. I know I walked into this situation but.. I just didn't want to do anything. She texted me and called me an asshole. I feel some form of guilt but at the same time, I don't.
So? Am the asshole for yelling at a couple (who didn't identify as a couple, they said they were distant relatives) who wanted to have a threesome but I didn't?
Tldr: was invited over to hang out by girl, ended up in bed with her and her "distant cousin" who wanted to have sex but I said no, leading to a heated aruhemt and me leaving
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "stopping all kind of communications with my best friend (male) because he got engaged",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 40
}
|
AITA for stopping all kind of communications with my best friend (male) because he got engaged?
|
I have been friends with this guy for almost 2 years. I am 24F and he is 27M. We have been friends platonically, but we once tried to be in a relationship, but it did not work out. He moved to NY while I moved to TN. I have always been in love with him while we both started dating other people. We remained best friends. We shared jokes, long phone calls, we shared our deepest, darkest secrets. For him, it was on a friendship level. For me, I was still in love with him while approving all of his relationships.
He finally met this new girl and they dated for only six months. He proposed to her after 6 months. Now I can tell you that I became bitter. After the engagement, I immediately blocked him everywhere and removed his cell phones. After a month, he called me on a different phone— I was shocked because I did not expect him to call. I honestly told him that I did not want to be around and I sent him a text to watch “my best friend's wedding”. I think I nurtured the friendship hoping he would choose me at the end. I did not make any drama about it, I just simply stopped reaching out and communicating.
Where I am coming from is that I still feel guilty about this. Did I make the right choice? That day I felt so envious and so bitter that he did not choose me. I told him not to invite me to the wedding. I am being selfish— I know. I don’t know what I am looking for precisely, but what do you think? Do you think I should have handled it better? Am I the asshole for not talking to him anymore? Be as honest as possible.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
chOvtEf2kgZlgYRbBUwJsnd4QWEYzVoA
|
azxb6k
|
{
"description": "getting my friend, who has severe learning difficulties to pay for all my drinks and not paying him back",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting my friend, who has severe learning difficulties to pay for all my drinks and not paying him back?
|
So basically one of my closest friends since I was a young child was another child a few doors down from me. He has quite severe learning difficulties, but not that bad. For example he can hold a conversation easily but has no hope of ever reading or writing that well (he can text as long as you keep it very simple) and can't really understand concepts.
My family looked after him and I spent a lot of time with him growing up along with my other friends. However he has few hobbies, he can't read and doesn't understand television. One thing he loves however is going out drinking and going to nightclubs now that we are adults .He is extremely social. He has a full time menial job with no outgoing expenses, he lives at home with his mother who doesn't make him pay rent and he doesn't get taxed. So he has lots of disposable income and likes to dispose of it drinking with me.
I however simply can't afford to go out with him as much as he wants. I can pay for it but I want to save money and don't want to spend all my money drinking and going out that much. But when I tell him this he invariably responds with 'don't worry about money'. Due to his condition I'm never sure what he means by this so he will tell me that he will 'buy me a pint'
I tell him my money concerns are not limited to one drink and wouldn't be willing to spend money on all my other drinks, plus the cost of taxis/cover charges etc so I can't go out, to which he will then respond again 'don't worry about money mate'.
By this point I'm getting a little infuriated so just straight up tell him he will need to pay for all my drinks and costs and that I consider it too much so again, I can't go out, to which he will respond 'that's sweet mate' and will proceed to beg me to come out.
I am now left in the situation when I am doing him a favour by going out to a bar/nightclub, something I enjoy, and having him pay for all my costs. This makes me look like an asshole but I don't think I am. He really wants this.
The first time we did this, after buying me the first drink he said 'don't worry about money, you can pay me back next week'. Due to the misunderstanding, I did pay him back but since have explained to him that it's not a matter of not having the money, it's a matter of saving money week to week, and going out this much isnt a luxury I can afford. Therefore I told him I couldn't do it again.
He wasnt having it, and continues to beg and implore me to come out with him and not to worry about money. Even after I stress to him that I couldn't afford to pay him back he will still do it.
This has been going on for a while. Anytime I actually want to go out I of course pay my way, I would never pretend to not want to go out to get him to pay for me. But when I decide I can't afford to go out, if what he wants is to pay for me as long as I go out with him, I accept. Which means I am getting a very vulnerable guy to pay for all my drinks on a regular basis without every paying back a penny. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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aj6t5c
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{
"description": "going behind my SO's back about her roommate/landlord's negligent dog fostering",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going behind my SO’s back about her roommate/landlord’s negligent dog fostering?
|
I feel like shit for doing this, but I couldn’t get it out of my mind.
My SO has been living with a girl (known now as L) who is the owner of the house. L has a dog who is a high energy mixed breed. He’s notorious for destroying things around the house (doors, socks, etc.). On average, she walks him less than once per day. Maybe 3 times a week. He is a mess imo. Has no manners, the lot.
L got into dog fostering in the last 6 months and that’s been okay. She’s only had one dog aggressive foster so it’s been fine with my dog (cattle dog mix— obedient, decently well mannered, and walked 2-6 daily).
L got a new foster that’s a hound mix (call it S) a few weeks ago. As you would expect, S is very vocal and follows it’s nose like nothing else matters. L has claimed this dog is anxious and has started giving the dog anxiety medication. However, L has only walked this dog once. S is taken outside twice per day for 10 minute periods in the backyard on leash. She spends the majority of the time in the kennel and is out for short periods of time when L is home. S and L’s dog have gotten into many scuffles and S is sent back into her kennel (not usually caused by S).
Imagine my surprise when L claims she wants to adopt S. L has been wanting to adopt a black dog that’s been in the adoption system for a long time. That does depict S, but L is so sedentary that I think another high energy dog is a mistake.
My SO wanted to stay completely out of it and let L adopt S. I wasn’t able to accept that and emailed the adoption agency my concerns anyway. I know it shouldn’t have been any of my business, but I feel like that dog deserves a home where she will get to use her energy and live life to the fullest.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ENXHTQ4xNgHa4nKXa1LQOyywWJnRA2gI
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ahxrjo
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{
"description": "just wanting to live my life and support my politically-minded friends the best way I know how, which is not wanting to go full-on socio-political about everything myself",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for just wanting to live my life and support my politically-minded friends the best way I know how, which is not wanting to go full-on socio-political about everything myself?
|
I was always brought up to look at both sides of issues before coming to my own conclusions. And while I agree that there is quite a bit wrong with the US political system, I also don’t feel the need or compulsion to voice or express or proselytize my personal beliefs about political or social issues. If someone asks me directly about an issue, I’ll tell them, but otherwise I keep myself to myself.
All that being said, I went to a ***VERY*** politically active and socially-conscious college which skewed ***VERY***. My experience there in terms of social/political issues was that it was more or less an echo chamber, or at least that’s how it felt to me. Anyone who expressed an alternative point of view was either berated or shot down with links and articles and sites and citations about why they were wrong to think that way. But my personal practice was whenever someone would get going on a political rant, I would just let them finish, nod, and then move on. To me it wasn’t worth it to try to go into detail about anything.
I’m posting this today because my facebook “memories” page showed me something that reminded me why I grew to hate that environment. Two years ago, Trump was sworn in, and I posted something along the lines of “I’ve never been an overly political person, and I’ve never been a crusader for any particular causes, but I want you all to know that I care about you and I will support you as best I can, even if it’s just a laugh or a joke here and there.” I’m paraphrasing here, but the core message was that I was acknowledging how angry and upset and frustrated people would be in that moment, and that the best way I knew to provide support or relief was to be a clown. I feel I can best help and support my friends and people I care about by giving them a laugh or a smile. Even if it’s just for a little bit, if I can make someone laugh, they aren’t thinking about their problems. That’s always been a keystone of what I believe. I’ve never been vocal about my political beliefs, and I do my best to keep it that way.
The only other comment (apart from my grandmother, who knows my personality and tendencies pretty well) was from someone from my college who said that what I was saying “wasn’t enough”. Being comic relief, or just a neutral party apparently “wasn’t enough.” She prefaced it with “As much as I like you and respect you, veggieleezy, what you’re saying here isn’t good enough.” She said I was “giving myself an out” for not doing anything to fight against what was happening. She then listed what I should apparently have been doing all along, voicing my disgust and anger and frustration and campaigning and actively rallying against what was happening, rather than just “being there to support”.
But the thing is, I’ve never felt strongly enough about *ANYTHING* to feel the need to actively campaign or protest or rally or fight or recruit or what have you. I don’t feel that way about any issue. While I hold my own beliefs fairly firmly, I just don’t feel compelled to debate or argue or try to convince people of my views, or show them why their views might be wrong. If someone brings it up to me directly or personally, I’ll probably discuss it and see what we can figure out between each other, but I have never felt the need to, for lack of a better term at the moment, “campaign” for any particular beliefs or ideals.
So I want to know for sure, or at least get a general consensus. Am I the asshole for just wanting to live my life, keep my opinions to myself, and be a clown to help people get through their days? Because that‘s all I’ve ever tried to be, and all I’ve ever presented myself to be. Am I wrong for not raising my opinions and actively fighting back? Was I really “giving myself an out” rather than stepping up like I apparently should have been?
Am I a bad person? I really hope I’m not... I just want to help people the best way I know how, and while that may not be actively campaigning for a particular cause or belief, I just want to make people laugh.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Czdx2EJkMq7D73mzOsvEfEQPTLiEA0FU
|
a9x60b
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{
"description": "cutting ties with my sister that has aspergers",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I cut ties with my sister that has Aspergers?
|
I know it sounds horrible, but I just can’t convince myself that her being my sister is a good enough reason to keep being in her life. I know her Aspergers is partially to blame for some of the issues I have with her, but just because there’s a reason for the behavior doesn’t mean I should just have to be ok with it. She is legitimately one of the meanest people I have ever met. She takes genuine pride in saying the most hurtful things she can to others. She is completely narcissistic to the point where she has ruined our younger brother’s relationship with our family by interrupting him so often that he’s completely given up on trying to have conversation with anyone. She is violent and has caused my father to need stitches several times from biting him. She’s hit us with dining room chairs, stabbed people with pencils, and over Christmas threatened to maim my boyfriend.
Our parents have never done anything to stop or correct her behavior, simply saying that she’s special needs and can’t help herself. She once punched me in the face so hard that she broke my glasses, and instead of disciplining her my mother told me that if I ever hit her back or tried to defend myself against her she would call the police on me and disown me.
I know my parents are a big part of why she’s like this, but she does know better. She’s not stupid by any means. She doesn’t do it when she’s around her life skills instructor, because he would (and has) chewed her ass out for bullying another student.
So for the past few years I’ve been distancing myself from her and this holiday season has really cemented it in my mind that I no longer want anything to do with her. I’ve decided to have a conversation with my mother and let her know that I have no interest in seeing my sibling anymore and to please not ask me to attend events that she will be at. I’ve tried for the past 15 years to look past all that and get along with her, but I don’t think I care enough anymore. I used to ignore it and think I was being the bigger person, but at this point I’m not willing to let these things go and I’m tired of fighting every time I see her.
I hoped so badly that as she got older she’d become a nicer person, but she’s just gotten meaner. We’re both adults now, and I’m at the point where I am really starting my own life and my own family. I am not willing to deal with the stress and anxiety of hoping she doesn’t decide to insult or assault me or my loved ones every holiday.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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b216mq
|
{
"description": "making a bad joke",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for making a bad joke?
|
My math class has all-or-nothing quizzes that you have to retake until you get everything perfectly correct. On the most recent one (which was relatively long), one person in my class turned in their quiz, which the teacher promptly looked over and returned, asking the student to re-examine for mistakes (to save them from having to completely redo the assignment).
The student had a little trouble finding the mistake, and kept on asking for help until the teacher pointed out the exact place the mistake was made. It seemed pretty unfair to me, as this kind of defeats the entire purpose of an all or nothing quiz, and most of the class was not afforded the luxury of getting a second try on the spot with help from the teacher. Being a relatively blunt guy, I asked the teacher out loud if I was allowed to cheat on the next major assignment as soon as the student in question turned in their revised quiz. I was half-joking, but I got a dirty look from the student and the teacher confronted me about it a little later.
So, Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
Z5m1SavhYZchYd7fJ2shKdSbH00wV0xq
|
b81gqt
|
{
"description": "not going to bed when he wants me to",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for not going to bed when he wants me to.
|
So my (22f) partner (24m) has to get up early because he starts work early. He aims to be in bed by 9.
2 months ago I spent a month going to bed at 8 so we could have a bit of a snuggle before bed. For that whole month I would make sure I was in bed early and he would just continue to do his own thing (video games, phone games etc) until he was ready and this started stretching past his 9pm bedtime. Sometimes I would even fall asleep before he had got into bed.
I told him this makes me feel neglected, I come up to spend time with him and go to bed early just for him and he wasn't even coming to bed or acknowledging my efforts. (I would cut activities short to go up to bed early for him. Even if I had work to do I would push it to the next day because previously he expressed getting a good night's sleep was important to him.)
This continues for a few weeks of me telling him it was hurting my feelings and him doing his own thing.
Eventually I decide enough is enough and tell him to come down and spend time with me if that's what he wants. I'm not going to wait upstairs being ignored when I could be doing something I enjoy.
I carry this on for a month. I will admit he told me he wished I would go back to being in bed earlier but I told him that I had put effort it and got nothing in return so now it was his turn. I made sure I was going to bed the same time as him so I wouldn't disturb him but I wouldn't go up early to wait anymore. This continues for a week and yes I did feel like we weren't spending enough time together but I was tired of wasting my time for someone who really didn't seem to care.
Today he says that he feels like I don't give him any love anymore because we don't talk or cuddle before bed like we used to. I explained to him why I stopped coming in early and reminded him that I had said if he wants to spend time with me he just needed to say and I would have come to spend time with him. He said he would have tried if I started coming to bed earlier but I didn't so he felt like I didn't care and that it's my fault we haven't been spending time together.
I feel like he's ignoring what I'm saying and trying to blame it on me because he was too lazy to make the effort. But a part of me wonders if straight up refusing to go to bed early for a month was just petty and I've just justified it to myself.
So I brought the issue here to some nonbias judges (because I know my friends might just side with me out of bias) and ask if I was the asshole here??
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
lSeLLVKhOXVAVWvUvVw0zwlPxmjAOVro
|
afdxqy
|
{
"description": "not giving my sister a slice of my pizza",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for not giving my sister a slice of my pizza?
|
So basically tonight my parents where going out to do something and me and my twin sister were like okay let’s order food since this doesn’t happen very often. My parents didn’t want to pay for our food because there where leftovers in the fridge ( which is understandable) so we had to pay for it ourselves.
Now My sister usually pays for food when we go out to eat because she has several different baby sitting jobs and makes a lot of money off of it, i never ask her to pay or anything and i appreciate her paying for it because i don’t have a job and usually can’t afford those things especially with college coming soon.
Tonight my sister didn’t want to pay for my food(which i was totally okay with) and so she gave me 10 dollars to pay for her 14 dollar pasta dish while i bought a 19 dollar pizza ( ridiculous prices for a pizza btw) along with a tip, i had absolutely no problem with this although giving the delivery man the key hurt my soul just a little bit.
We got the food and ate it and then she asks me for a slice and i say “ No because i payed for it and it was expensive and i don’t have that much money to begin with” I wasn’t going to ask to eat the pasta she (kinda) paid for and i don’t really see anything wrong with not wanting her to eat my food especially when she knows i don’t have that much money to begin with. But she starts getting mad at me because she always pays for me and calls me crazy and that i would never say no to anybody else asking ( which isn’t true) so am i the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
mASmgScKwnIOusEQ7kX92Fn2sdUKX6WP
|
awig5q
|
{
"description": "not getting my license while my wife does the driving",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not getting my license while my wife does the driving?
|
AITA for not getting my license while my wife drives.
This is a topic on my mind a lot, and I get judged quite a bit for it by my(29M) wife's (28F) family, as well as my own family.
When I was in high school, like most teenagers, I was looking forward to getting my license and driving. At 15 I started in drivers ED, and ended up passing the written test just fine. After that I began doing the driving practice, and I really struggled. Practicing was hard, specifically driving with my parents. My mom would freak out really easily, and I felt really nervous around my dad and definitely made a lot of mistakes. I eventually took a road test and failed, and that discouraged me for a few months, but then I got really dedicated to practicing, and tried again. I failed a second time due to the parallel parking.
I got really dedicated on the third time. My parents hired a private instructor, and I really tried my best. At this point though, I still did not feel like I was a good driver. I knew my weaknesses, and in certain high risk situations, my instincts were often incorrect, leading to a couple close calls.
On my third road test, things were going fine for the most part, but near the end, I ended up getting into a collision. On my road test. It was awful. It was entirely my fault, and I was extremely ashamed. Since then, I have not reattempted to take a road test.
The rest of my life has been largely unaffected. I lived on campus in university, so I had no need for a car (and no access to one to practice again for a road test) after that, I moved downtown and was within walking distance of my job. Currently I take public transit and it's not really an issue for me, and I'm pretty self sufficient without a car and can take Uber if I need too. I am a successful well adjusted adult.
I don't want to get a car, or my license, because I am concerned that I will get into an accident, harming myself, someone else, or potentially members of my family. The issue is that my wife has a car, and does all of the driving. Now, a part of me feels bad, that I should be sharing that responsibility, but I am legitimately concerned for our safety if I was driving. I don't want to deal with the judgement of our families, but I also don't want to put our future kids at risk while driving with me.
On the other hand, that will be a lot more responsibility for my wife if she has to drive the kids everywhere. I'm hoping that either I can find other ways to help out in the future.
TLDR; I'm a bad driver, and probably a risk to be on the road. I don't think I should get my license for my own safety, and the safety of others. I feel bad though, like I am not contributing enough by not getting it, and face judgement from extended family.
AITA for not wanting to drive?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 14,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
WCeowYtWUhgnBl9E276O9pN79PK1p7r0
|
arqhuc
|
{
"description": "distancing myself from a friendship on the rocks",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for distancing myself from a friendship on the rocks?
|
Me (17M) and my friend, who I'll call T (18M), have been friends since freshman year, and are seniors now. We've both been through some traumatic shit through the years and bonded through that, as well as music and memes. Junior year, T moved out of his grandparent's house with his mom, switching to independent studies in the process. Instead of helping his mental health, he told me it's been worse.
At the end of junior year, we started hanging more often, usually with other friends and a guy who I'll dub R (important). At the start of senior year, me and R have a falling out and the next day I cut ties with him. T texts me saying that I'm immature for not wanting to be friends with R after we almost fought in class the previous day. I respond with telling him to not call me immature for just steering clear of R.
A few weeks later (on Halloween) T comes back to school and we "make up" despite there being a very apparent awkwardness and tension whenever we talk. T's mental health has since started to act up again, and has since missed 3 weeks of school on end with no updates. Whether or not comes back, I'd just call it quits on this. Friends always drift apart throughout school anyways. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rheYAUlO8Xez9YWGT6hwByIDnNIqzSyI
|
9u8313
|
{
"description": "hating my boyfriend's video game habits",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hating my boyfriend’s video game habits
|
I (19F) drove two hours to see my long distance boyfriend (21M) and he has pretty much spent the whole afternoon playing video games and hanging out with his roommates. I have just kind of silently hung out because I’m very shy and don’t know them very well and all they have been talking about is the video games they play. I have no video game interest or knowledge at all, but try and be supportive because I know he really enjoys them.
As of right now, I have been awkwardly laying in his bed for two hours while he plays a game on his computer at his desk, only being able to talk to him when he turns around to give me a kiss or tell me he loves me. He plays video games every day after school and I only get to see him once every couple of weeks. I’ve tried to emphasize that I miss him very much and I’m even leaving at an inconvenient time for me tomorrow because I just want to be able to spend a little more time with him, but he seems to think me sitting a couple feet away on my phone for hours is spending time together.
I know if I told him I didn’t want him to play then he wouldn’t, but am I the asshole for wanting him to WANT to not play, and to spend time with my instead.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ADWLYIC187f9h1JAdVT1WRdpuqfkvebS
|
a0crz6
|
{
"description": "yelling back at my mom/older sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for yelling back at my mom/older sister?
|
They doesn't know what they're talking about half of the time, and even if I make a valid argument in a calm way, they don't listen and they still get mad. I could be minding my own business and they would have something to say about me. If my mom gets mad at me and I say something, my sister has to be a smartass and say something bad about me even though she doesn't even know what we were talking about. They're full of drama and I could never please them- I think my parents like my sister more. They did this again today, so I got upset and shouted at them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9r9rN5BIFwjyuRBqGZro2UmtOjFbt4ta
|
9trjh8
|
{
"description": "introducing my Ex to my Current Sexual Partner",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Introducing My Ex to My Current Sexual Partner
|
OKAY so about a month ago I reconnected with an ex from a few years back after we bumped into each other on Tinder. Since then I have invited him out on three different occasions to hang out with some of my friends as we all got along very well back in the day. Everyone had a great time and it was entirely platonic as far as I knew.
On the first night of hanging out we both discussed our deep lack of interest in each other sexually, as well as our recent sexual endeavors with others. I also mentioned that I was in an exclusive sexual situation with another one of my friends and was very much enjoying it. He seemed supportive and I figured that meant we were just friends in his eyes and all was well.
This past weekend I invited my ex to come hang out at a bar with my usual group, as well as the guy I am boning. Everything went on fine as usual and my ex offered to drive my roommate, my dick appointment, and myself back to the apartment. He has always offered to drive us home in the past and never comes in to hang out afterwards. While we were waiting for the other two to use the bathroom and close their tabs, I mentioned offhand that the other guy was my fuck buddy because he’s real cute and I like telling people (i’m annoying). Upon mentioning this, things took a turn. He got very offended and said that he wouldn’t have offered to drive us home if he had known it wasn’t going to end with him and I “doing stuff”. First he said some very unkind things about my friend but then ended the night by saying “It’s ok that you’re doing that stuff, I just didn’t expect to be so sad about it”.
Now I feel like a giant asshole but my roommate says I’m not. I’m just trying to decide if it’s worth reaching out and apologizing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5HGhzFn1xbaFtIQTlicSXxKlqkDlCeup
|
b4eiex
|
{
"description": "selling my husbands motorcycle",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for selling my husbands motorcycle?
|
My son bought me a car because my husband wouldn't. The car was the only valuable personal belonging I had that belonged to me. I was in a car accident and the car was totaled but still drivable. My husband made a deal to sell my car to buy a camper for us to live in. He kept the money from the car sale, didn't buy a camper and kicked me out of our home. His motorcycle was at a friend's house and I had the title. AITA for selling his motorcycle and keeping the money?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
RdqpmH88bXlL3BmnDZyCqET7D7dr528o
|
a2g163
|
{
"description": "asking my moms friend to drop me off at college",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my moms friend to drop me off at college?
|
I'm an only child (18M) and my mom has gone to another country to visit her father, while my dad is disabled and unable to drive. I come home on fridays (my roommate is able to drive me back home) and leave sunday. While I can drive, I'm unable to drive myself back because it's our only car, I do not have a parking permit to park near the college, and my mom comes back on tuesday, so she'll need the car when she goes back to work.
Before my mom left, her friend said to tell me that I can ask her for anything if needed (food, a ride, etc) however it may just be a kind gesture. Today, I have no friends available to drive me back (nor have I ever asked any to drive me back) and so I asked my friends mother if her son is there, who also goes to the same college, if she'll be able to drive me back along side him. She said that she would be able to drive me and what time would be okay for me. After saying 6ish and constantly denying food from her politely, the call ended.
I then found out her son did not come back for the weekend, and she would be driving me 25-30 minutes to the college, and then 25-30 minutes back, meaning I will be using up an hour of her sunday. My dad then said that I should've declined her offer to drive me as her son wasn't there, and that I should spend $20 on an uber rather than use up her time.
Tl;dr: I asked my moms friend to drive me 30 minutes to and then 30 minutes from the college, while my dad said its wasting her time and that I should uber. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NhV3tvzdZeE7u3KiX7FhpLfu82xratNm
|
acj0y9
| null |
AITA mom offers to take kids overnight but wants me to pick them up first thing this morning.
|
I am feeling quite furious. I don't ask my mom to take my children overnight for the simple fact I would have to pick them up first thing in the morning. For me I would rather have them home then to rush out first thing in the AM to get them from across town. I don't drive, I take a bus or taxi.
My mom offered to take the children so I could go out for my birthday. So yesterday I went to her house around 11 so she could go shopping before I left and I watched the dogs. She came back I spent some time with her, left about 3pm. At 9:30am she starts texting me asking when I'm picking the kids up. When she starts this she wants me there within the hour.
I just don't understand why she offers to take my children but hassles me to pick them up....i didn't even get to sleep in. Honestly, I regret even bringing my kids there because my kids would have let me just relax this morning.
Idk I feel like I shouldn't complain....BUT SHE OFFERED TO TAKE THEM!!!!!!! The majority of the time my kids have been there they slept. They go to bed at 7pm!!!!!!!! Plus the 45 mins each way on the bus there and back....twice. Geeze.
AITA????? Should I say something to her about why I'm upset....or should I just let it go.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 30,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 32
}
|
WRONG
|
qj7wELHQPgTjsPCvZWsJ9UHFADgM63s5
|
9toan3
|
{
"description": "not crying when my brother died",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not crying when my brother died?
|
When I was ten my brother whom I'd met three times OD'd and while I did feel depressed about it, my dad claimed I was sociopath and said something along the lines of "You cry when I hit you, but not even when your fucking brother died." I legitimately cried when David Bowie (whom I've obviously never met) died, but no my own brother. Am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
rptbs34FRQBxY1heMv8iIzZbxBAG41wh
|
b1wb9b
|
{
"description": "trying to get someone in trouble at work",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I tried to get someone in trouble at work?
|
Tl;dr: Guy called in with a problem and was hostile and made me cry at work. Should I tell his boss he handled the situation this way or just try to work it out the best I can on my own?
I'll start off saying I do not work with this person. We do not work for the same company and this was so far the only interaction I've had with them since being at my company for nearly a year.
This person works for a company that for all works in the same industry but in a different department that is run by a separate company from my own. He had to call me yesterday to discuss a job that we had done for a customer he is attempting to work with.
After asking him for some additional details he started to get hostile with me over the phone. Yelling, being demanding and demeaning to me, arguing, etc. It had me in tears by the time the 20 minutes of me dealing with him had ended.
He did eventually give me the information I needed, but not before more arguing, yelling, and demanding.
My question is: would I be the asshole to attempt to get in touch with someone higher up from the company he works for and complain?
Part of me feels it's better to just let it go, attempt to keep it civil when working with him, and possibly going as far to just let him know if he starts to get hostile again that I would not be helping him until he could act more professional.
However, I feel as though he is a professional, for all intents and purposes representing the company he works for. I kept a calm and level tone, asking multiple times for the information I needed and trying my best to explain, and I feel as though he should have equally tried to handle the situation in a more professional manner. To tell someone higher up I feel would be warning them that he is prone to this behavior in case of a more serious situation when it may come up for future clients of theirs.
Thanks in advance guys 👍
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3JSghcQdsyuvmSGgNzWBjbrdNCWCjM8V
|
au29d5
|
{
"description": "joking about a kid's soccer coach at a game",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITAH? I joked about a kid's soccer coach at a game
|
The game? Soccer.
Kid's ages? 7 & 8 year olds.
The guy in question is one of the coaches for the team my son's team played against.
Plot twist: It's the team my son played for last season.
Last season, the coach on my son's team yelled at lot, and not in a "I yell when I'm excited" way. That's the reason my son no longer plays for that coach.
That exact coach found himself an assistant coach who yells just as much. Like, the WHOLE game. He was on the field when he shouldn't be, he was yelling crazy stuff at the kids ("No! Don't you dare cry!" and "I don't EVER want to see that again!" among the highlights), so I and a couple other people started joking about it. Things like "He's gonna stroke out!" and "Holy crap, who talks to 8 year olds like that?!" Turned into a thing when his wife turned out to be sitting next to us. I wasn't involved in the actual confrontation, but she asked us to stop talking about her husband and one of the mom's I was talking to told her that her husband is embarrassing. There were some more words said, we all got called snowflakes, and that was it.
Now for the Lifetime TV Movie level plot twist:
Coach McYellerson has an older son who turns out to be on MY older son's team this year. So... I'm definitely going to see this guy and his wife again.
So, I don't feel bad about what I said. Not at all. None of it was that bad, and for crying out loud, he sounds like the "Winning is everything" coach in a kid's movie about teamwork and compassion.
However, I did ridicule the guy's behavior in front of his wife.
AITAH?
Second question: Should I apologise anyway, or let it drop unless it becomes a thing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
O022EtCTIbmWsfA4kNmTaylcSSKT93o5
|
b35l0s
|
{
"description": "not tipping the dog trainer",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Am I the Asshole for not tipping the dog trainer?
|
My husband and I rescued a puppy earlier this year and hired a local company to train him, signing up for a trainer to come to our place for an hour once a week for six weeks.
We started off extremely impressed. We live in a busy, highly trafficked area where people are known for being late, and the rep who did our initial assessment was bang on time and super professional. The next week, our trainer started. She was about five minutes late, but no big deal. We saw immediate results and started recommending her and the service to friends and co-workers. The second week, she was ten minutes late. Whatever. We get it. Third week, about 20 minutes late. Lateness aside, she's doing a great job, our dog is responding incredibly well, and we're happy. We looked up what we should tip a dog trainer, but there isn't much out there online, and we decided upon $100. (Training cost was $600).
Week 4, she's closer to 30 minutes late. A little annoying, because we try to go to bed early and this is starting to cut into our evening, but it's all good. Week 5, past 30 minutes late. We find it frustrating, but whatever, we only have one session left.
She reschedules week 6 at the very last minute to the next day. The next day she cancels. The company calls me and asks if we can do a different day the following week, as that would be more conducive geographically, and this would allow all of her clients for the day to be in the same area. Fine. Good. No problem. We've now lowered the tip to $60.
The next week rolls around and the time comes that she should be there. Ten minutes pass. Fifteen. At 30 minutes we text, only to be told she's across town and still at least 25 minutes away (we assume more). We reschedule to this week. At this point we're contemplating not tipping at all, but we are most likely planning to give her something.
Today it rained all day. Fifteen minutes after we're scheduled to start tonight, she texts to cancel due to rain, but says she's close. We ask if we can train indoors. She relents and shows up 20 minutes later. She stayed less than the full hour, then kind of hung around at the end and said something like, 'remember the tips' on the way out. We didn't tip.
Am I the asshole for not tipping?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bDbF6AKAMWInuR8ArKL7ieEeBC3MfPk3
|
afsc82
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend to work at the same place as me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to work at the same place as me?
|
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months and we decided to live together for some time until he finds his own place. I’m afraid that living together and then also working at the same place is not going to work out
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fFSvwijyYFEuHJWvMmyTPsm7HZsLZn2A
|
aamnjv
|
{
"description": "not wanting my brother to propose with my mother's ring",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting my brother to propose with my mother's ring?
|
So my parents are divorced, and my mother has 2 rings from the marriage: her engagement ring and the ring she got for her 25th anniversary. She told my sister and I years ago that she wanted us to have them when she's gone one day, just like her mother had given her her engagement ring.
Then there's my brother. He met a girl last year that he wants to put a ring on ASAP. He's also currently getting his doctorate so he's living off student loans. Just as an aside: there is no logical reason he needs to propose to her immediately, he just "has the urge".
He sat down with my mom last month telling her he didn't know what to do because he can't afford an engagement ring, but he's sooo in love and wants to propose super soon. Mom said she would help him a bit financially. She told him to take her rings to get appraised so she had some sort of benchmark for the price of an engagement ring.
So he gets them appraised and then asks my mom if he could disassemble the 25th anniversary ring and use the center stone instead of getting cash for a new ring. My mom doesn't like the idea, but told my sister and I she doesn't know what to do because he's making her feel guilty that he "won't have a family heirloom to give her," whatever that means. My mom said she was very willing to help him by giving him money, but she didn't want to disassemble the rings that she promised to my sister and I unless we were ok with it. According to my mom, he responded with something along the lines of, "don't you realize I can't accept cash from my mom... It would make me feel like less of a man." 🙄 Give. Me. A. Break.
My mom has also expressed to me privately that the whole proposal feels strange and rushed and she doesn't really feel comfortable with giving this girl her diamond when she isn't entirely convinced they're right for each other, but she obviously won't tell my brother that because it's his life.
Here's the thing: this girl comes from a very wealthy, traditional southern family, and he told my sister he REALLY wants to impress them so he feels he deserves my mom's big ring because he claims my sister and I "can have the rest of mom's jewelry." I KNOW the reason he wants to use that diamond is because it's bigger and more $$ than my mom is willing to give him.
The other thing: at the end of next year he's getting a HUGE chunk of money from our grandparents for his 28th birthday (enough to buy her a big ass rock if he wants to). I also received this money for my birthday last year and I offered to lend him money for a ring until he gets his next year and can pay me back, since for some reason he can't wait until then when he can actually afford a ring to propose to her. He won't accept this either because he says I "don't get it," and keeps saying, "why do you need that ring so bad? I need it more than you do," which feels so manipulative to me.
It's getting in my head though... Are my sister and I being entitled for wanting my mother's rings that she told us (and still agrees) were meant for us?
Tl;dr: AITA for not wanting my brother to have and disassemble my mom's diamond ring that is sentimental to my mom, my sister, and I when he has the means to buy a perfectly good engagement ring?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
y56sAu35ohZOww1NxcUTy1IExjO3dssy
|
axsmq0
|
{
"description": "being annoyed and potentially planning on ditching my friend at a music festival",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being annoyed and potentially planning on ditching my friend at a music festival?
|
Me (26F) and my best friend (27F) are going to Tomorrowland winter in France for a music festival. Initially she added two guys onto our party group so the price would be cheaper, so we payed 1K each for 4 days of raving in the Alps. She has a history with one of them (they are two brothers) - they have a sort of sugar daddy relationship where he’ll pay the plane ticket and accommodations and the two of them will go to Ibiza, Santorini etc.
Anyways we each payed 1K for the experience with him paying only for himself and his brother. When she mentioned he would be coming I let her know that I wanted her and I to do our own thing. I love meeting people at music festivals and I feel like when we go with guys, people just assume we are together and I don’t have as much fun or get as approached. Also they ALWAYS bring unwanted drama and problems. It also doesn’t help that the two of them are Pakistani, and when they party they go overboard and get possessive, sloppy, and loud (her words not mine, I haven’t met either of them).
We are leaving next weekend, so when talking to her today she mentions how she won’t be ditching him because he’s still paying for some of her food and other things. I immediately get irritated. We’ve raved together and I always have a good time - with her. When she brings other people along they ruin it with possessiveness, bad vibes, sloppiness etc. Also with her being with one of the guys, it creates a couple vibe which I am not interested in nor did I sign up for.
Am I the asshole for being annoyed? And low key planning to ditch them all? I payed 1K and no ones have paying for my shit, so this arrangement isn’t beneficial to me at all. Also I’m well aware that this is THE MOST superficial & inconsequential post....😅. I promise I have a real career, this is just how I blow off steam. Anyways thanks for any advice and for a change in perspective.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
VDZj6RnacWfl5pVZp63vxVrOpPaM38NL
|
aqreko
|
{
"description": "cooking my hamburger after it had already been \"cooked\"",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cooking my hamburger after it had already been "cooked"?
|
tl;dr at bottom
So I'm visiting my family because my mom had surgery the other week and one of my parents' friends was there, who I had never met before. He's a pretty nice guy, and pretty funny. Anyways he somehow ended up cooking for us (I think he offered), which I thought was nice, and he was saying how he's cooked a lot supposedly and he's learned a few cooking tips and tricks from his "travels" that he might be able to show me.
So when it's all done we're all eating in the living room and there's a bunch of common food like corn, mashed potatoes and whatnot, all tastes the same as any other that I'd had, but the thing is is he cooked big hamburgers for everyone. The one I got was thicker than most but not as wide. Just from the habit of other people not cooking my food thoroughly before I cut into mine to make sure it was done, and obviously it wasn't, like at all, in the middle. It wasn't really a big deal to me, I've undercooked things for my family before, other family member have, but we all know to check and we generally just laugh about it because it doesn't happen too often.
So since mine was undercooked I just ate everything else and then I went back into the kitchen and started cooking my hamburger. I could hear over the sizzling hamburger for 5 minutes, the friend asking what I was doing and my dad said that I like them burnt, which he knows I don't. They then talked for a couple minutes while I was cooking it about how weird it was I like them burnt. Then my brother came up and told me it was disrespectful to do that, but he like to give me a lot of shit though. Anyways this ended up in a small-scale argument between my dad brother and I about it.
So, AITA? If I undercooked something I wouldn't feel disrespected at all if someone did that, especially if it was as pink as mine was.
tl;dr my parents friend cooked for us and didn't cook my hamburger thoroughly so I cooked it more on the stove and it apparently insulted him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1UIZdTmSUk27DzrvAbAQq3KxWp06oTQs
|
almg6n
|
{
"description": "calling a girl fat when she was roasting me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for calling a girl fat when she was roasting me
|
She started trying to roast me and call me gay and some other things, I called her fat and some other things. I found out later she cried in the locker room
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
eD94YK64eNdPfv2C0N2crZuYJ7qeTXgZ
|
9uvgx3
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed at a friend who asked me for even more money than originally agreed upon",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed at a friend who asked me for even more money than originally agreed upon?
|
It was my friends birthday. She asked me to come along to the movies with her and her family. I agreed. She asked me for $25 for the ticket. I'm super strapped for cash at the moment, so I asked if I could pay half this week half next. She agreed to this. I just sent my final payment off to her and she said to me that she made a mistake- the ticket was actually $50! She asked me for more money than what I said I would pay. Obviously, I'll get the extra money to her, but am I the asshole for getting annoyed at this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
U5KMstlNzCovZJkjZ783uvGJGcahboUX
|
aeyp3p
|
{
"description": "making my friend homeless",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I made my friend homeless?
|
TL;DR at the bottom
Me and my friend of 15 years moved in to a rented house back in 2017, he was a bit flaky with money for rent and bills so I covered it, then he caught me up as promised back in July. Since then I've had precisely nothing from him and had to try to pay it all myself, getting behind on some bills (for the house and myself) in the process. He's "self employed" in a job under contract to a single company that in reality doesn't pay a lot but always has money for beer, cigarettes and online gambling. The problems with pay were evident a few months in to the job but he insisted it would start paying soon.
Then coming up to December 1st (bill day) he said he would pay enough to cover all that month's bills plus a bit to pay me back. Great! So I merrily went and did all my Christmas shopping free from the burden of paying any bills this month. Then comes the 1st. Nothing in the account. First he said he had transfered it. Then he said he accidentally paid it all to one of his numerous creditors (note: he said he'd done a bank transfer but you can only pay this particular creditor with a debit card). I had enough to pay my half of the rent but that was it.
I told our letting agents the situation and they agreed to me paying my half and they'd chase him for his half. He still hasn't paid it. I covered the bills again on January 1st but come February 1st I just don't want to. I could cover it but only with financial problems for myself. If I don't pay the full rent then our landlord is likely to demand he moves out and offer a new tenancy to me and another person (my step brother is after a place to live). He would have literally nowhere to go and to make matters worse he's just quit his job (which he should have quit a year ago) with nothing on the horizon.
TL;DR: Friend of 15 years hasn't paid for rent or bills for 6 months because no money. Owes me thousands. Don't want to cover him anymore but if I stop he's on the streets.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 15,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
L8wHEBPBXm3BnyKXjajQ6xWKkrEnYV2X
|
at4gva
|
{
"description": "quitting my gym because they converted some classes to women's only",
"pronormative_score": 89,
"contranormative_score": 38
}
|
AITA for quitting my gym because they converted some classes to women's only?
|
My boxing gym recently changed its friday mitts class to womens only. Am I an asshole for halting my membership over it? I can't stand having blackout dates on my membership because I am male. I don't 'feel' left out. I am literally excluded for a nonsense reason. A male only class wouldn't be tolerated, so why is a women's only class ok?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 38,
"OTHER": 55,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 34,
"INFO": 9
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 89,
"WRONG": 38
}
|
RIGHT
|
65BkwwK3l66mHi91LrZtT0IsQ81LDrPp
|
b8q0c4
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my friend for spending more time with his long distance gf",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I got angry at my friend for spending more time with his long distance gf?
|
I'm friends with 2 guys, we'll call them Andy and Marco. We're all currently 18. Us 3 have been friends with each other since we were very young, and we've always thought of each other as our best friends. This has been changing recently. Andy met a girl online who lives in another country, and they fell in love. She lives very far from where we are, and I'm doubtful that they'll ever get to meet in real life. I'm very glad he's found someone that makes him happy, except he basically puts all of his time into her and spends much less time with us.
He would pretty much ditch me and Marco. As an example, we'd ask him if he wants to get in a call and play a game, and he would decline saying he's not in the mood because "he wants to relax." Minutes later he would start a game with his girlfriend "because she asked." This kind of behaviour has gotten on our nerves a lot, and we feel both very hurt and like he's being a bad friend. We even sat down with him and talked about this before and he acknowledged everything and apologized. Well, that apology meant nothing apparently because he hasn't really changed at all. On one hand I can understand that he has very strong feelings and is infatuated with this girl, and I can understand wanting to spend as much time as possible with someone who lives so far away, but I don't think having strong feelings serves as an excuse for disregarding your friends.
It pretty much feels like a giant slap in the face and a big "fuck you" to me and Marco that he rather ignore us and spend this much time with someone he's never met before over his lifelong friends, even after previously apologizing and saying he'll change. But on the other hand I want to stay understanding and sympathetic to him as he clearly has strong feelings. WIBTA if I get pissed off at him for this (as I think he's being inconsiderate), or do I stay understanding of his feelings?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
9fFFUpERdWSFMmhMkJmbdxt3cwXantFG
|
al6l2n
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my friend?
|
Sorry for the long post, TL;DR at bottom.
I'm currently a senior in high school, and I made my friend "T" in 6th grade when he was in 8th. Over my 7th-8th grade summer, I lost touch with him, before having him call me when I was at my Grandmother's for that summer. We started hanging out again over my 8th grade year, and we had fun hanging out.
FF to my 9th grade year during summer, where he tickled me until I was kicking and accidentally broke his laptop. Or when he pinched my cheeks as I was 4 foot nothing and adorable according to him. Or when he asked to borrow my grandma's birthday present to me, and stepped on it by accident. Or when I stop texting or calling him, waiting for him to talk to me in anyway, letting weeks go by without any meaningful conversation.
Now, let's talk about T. He's extremely prideful, assertive, confident, he's 6'7 or 6'8, he's muscular, and he's honestly a pretty good guy as far as being friends goes. But that pride causes major strain on basically everyone around him, more on that later. The one real relationship he was in was awful for him, with a girl we'll call "S" for now. T gets what he wants, and does what he wants, and he doesn't like it when other people do that same thing.
So, T sees S on the bus during his Senior year. He's 17 and she's 14. S is in a rather abusive relationship with someone, T intervenes. They only make out for the first 8 months to the first year. T and S don't even know what French Kissing is and call me to ask. Then when S's family is extremely happy with T, treating him like a son-in-law already, the now 17 T and 14 year old S bone. Mind you, Romeo and Juliet laws are a thing, and I do joke to him that he's a pedo whenever I'm slightly annoyed at him as it annoys him. And T describes it in detail against my wishes. Over and over. Literally two days after Christmas, his pride got him kicked out of his house, so he spends until Valentine's Day, roughly, with me and my family, S breaks up with him for this amount of time. One of his brothers offers a place to stay. S and T start dating again. About a month later, I go over to his house during his 18th birthday, he and S go to his room. He fingers S, and forces his fishy, not even joking, fingers in everyones face, other than mine, as I prepare for it by outright stopping him. He nearly gets in a fight, and I'm forced to deescalate the situation since T doesn't back down ever. Cops are called after the fact, but nothing happens there. FF to summer, and he and S break up, since S was boning other guys. I considered her dead to me, as per my ethical and moral code, but he had loved her, so when she came crawling back T said yes. They lasted two more months before T had to move again, about a half hour away by car. Then S cheated on T with T's other best friend at the time. During this time, I had gotten out of a relationship of my own, and that's about it. He and his friends were the only people I hung around, at the time. He eventually got over the break up, and she's back saying "Oh, but you're like a brother to me, we should be roomates and stuff."
I always get him a joke gift and a real gift for his birthday, so one birthday I got him some My Little Pony Binoculars, Nail Polish, Lip Gloss, Shampoo, etc. and a Rebellion sword replica from Devil May Cry. I've spent nearly $800 or more (a 3DS, a 2DS, a literal box of DBS Cards, the rebellion sword, multiple DB Figures) on things I've gotten him, or let him have. He's spent around $400-$500, and that's including things he's taken back, like a laptop.
Recently, we've only been hanging out when he has time, even if I have to skip school, so he can tear apart my DBS deck for a specific card, or bring my PS4 so he can play games. That's literally it. Over the past two months.
TL;DR Friend for at least 5 years might take advantage of my friendship, so I want others opinions.
So, AITA for not wanting to hang around him anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
4IdJFmPYN4k945eKAHgeuIiTOMjw4dEI
|
b524ct
|
{
"description": "trying to cancel my vacation when friends invited a stranger",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for trying to cancel my vacation when friends invited a stranger?
|
Diving right into it
I and a group of my friends (6 people total) have gone on summer Vacation together a couple of times. We are a very tight Friend group as we have known each other for 15 years since we were around 5 (this will be important later).
Important Background: the main organizer of our previous trips suggested a trip to East Asia this year. Nonetheless, due to the fact that that only one other person wanted to join him, the idea fell through and defeatedly he said that someone else should plan another vacation. I decided to plan the next vacation. The rest of the guys agreed with me and we booked an Apartment for 6 people with an additional ability for someone to sleep on the couch (again important later).
This brings me to yesterday when I get a text in the group chat from the original Organizer of all the previous trips that he's bringing two additional people on the trip with us and that it is final. Because he's the one whose account we paid from and bears responsibility and thus it's his choice. He then followed up by saying that one of the friends is our old time friend (someone I had no problem with) and the other is his uni pal, who we have never met and doesn't even speak our native language. This didn't sit well with me and A. because I didn't want 8 people in a six bedroom apartment and B. I didn't want some random guy who I never met on holiday with me. I then attempted to call the main organizer who didn't pick up his phone and had his roommate text me that he's busy and can't deal with this situation. Then this morning, I finally got in touch with the trip Organizer who said that his decision is final and that I get no say in this and that since the payments are in his name. This prompted me to send an angry text to him saying that we had a verbal contract and that he should remove the stranger or I'm not going to go on the trip and that I want my money back (3 people in the group disagreed and 1 agreed with me). He ignored my text saying I have to deal with it, so I threatened to write an email to the AIRBNB host saying that there will be too many people and that his apartment will be a mess if he allows it. Then I texted the stranger (found on FB) and said hes welcome to come on holiday with us but he cannot gonna live with us and will have to find other accommodation with the Organizer elsewhere while we will stay as a core group in the main apartment.
This evening I got a text saying I won (sure don't feel that way) and that it's down to the original 6 of us as well as that I am a toxic person.
TL;DR My friend invited a stranger on holiday with us, I threatened to ruin said holiday if he isn't removed
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
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EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
XzWzp7paN2aLzPdw7xhdmL9HLdCF7Xeg
|
abuz8b
|
{
"description": "being annoyed with my neighbor parking in front of my home",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being annoyed with my neighbor parking in front of my home
|
AITA for being upset that my neighbor parks one of his 6 cars in front of my home on the street parking. Although I know it is not illegal for him to park in front of my property it is a bit annoying to come home everyday seeing his vehicle parked in front of my house. They have 4 spots in their driveway that are constantly being utilized with those cars rarely moving. Along with that they have a 2 car garage which from what I can see is probably just being used for storage and not parking vehicles. Their other vehicle is parked in front of their home. The last vehicle they own is usually parked in front of my home or around the corner on other street parking. I am tempted to try and have a civil discussion with him about this issue but am not sure if I would come across as the asshole for asking him not to park in front of my home. As a common courtesy I was brought up to not park in front of other peoples homes as this was rude. I would extend this same courtesy to him by not parking in front of his home.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
eXKjWdZjhFNpr9cEzVnlMBZZnVhW7IEq
|
ae5iut
|
{
"description": "messaging a friend who I thought was being emotionally abused",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for messaging a friend who I thought was being emotionally abused?
|
Back story; his wife hasn't worked in years, he's always been the sole income. A year ago, she complained she didn't have any input in he budget, so he let her take over.
They moved away from the big city, because "the public schools are better out here for when the kids (6,4,2) start school" In the space of 3 months, their $5k savings had disappeared, they'd financed a new $36k car for her and he had to sell his motorbike.
Fast forward 6 months. He's working extra hours to offset these extra costs, she's seeing more money coming in and proceeds to put the kids through private primary school (huge luxury and expense, also note above) and take out private health cover (there are no private hospitals where they moved to)
So he gets depressed. Working ridiculous hours (60-70 wk, 6+mths) will do that to someone
She tells me "I told him to stop being depressed or I'll leave with the kids". Things mellow out, he deletes Facebook and messenger, where he would chat with me and his brothers.
His brother makes the effort to drive out there yesterday afternoon, not more than 10 minutes after he arrives, they're out back having a vape and she comes out "hell no, you're not leaving me alone with the kids"
Brother asks "why not?". "Because no, that's why" and walks off. Mate instantly clams up and doesn't talk for the rest of the evening. Brother goes home.
I send mate a message;
>Hi. I'm gonna say some things you're probably not going to like; the situation you're in is domestic violence. Specifically emotional and financial abuse. If you ever feel like this is true, give me a call. I've got friends who have contacts in both family law and family mediation, whichever route you wish to take. >You're in a better position than you probably realise.
>I miss the old you, the positive comments and the outlook you had.
>You've got my number, I'll be disappearing off her Facebook shortly. Peace out.
She instantly replies from her mobile (because he's never allowed to buy credit). I presume at this point that he's forwarded the message to her
So she's chewing me out, I'm replying sensibly "I don't hate you or your marriage. I just miss seeing my mate happy".
He gets home (maybe? I dunno, I presume it's him)
>I'm way busy. She's not abusive. I'm the cunt and the abusive one. It's no wonder she hasn't left me. I'm unhappy with work. I have no people with my interest on my area to hang out with. I'm depressed that I work 70hrs a week. I don't see anyone. I'm too tired to drive 3hrs to spend an afternoon with people. I've got friends I've known for 20 years, I haven't seen them in years. I've got kids that are tired that I need to take care of after we do stuff is the city, without making them sit at a friends place for a few hours. She's the only one who stuck around to help me through. Who's pushing us to move to the city so I'm closer to friends. Everyone else said go to therapy or fucking pills that I won't take. I appreciate your concern, but it's unfounded. What I'm like at home isn't what I'm like to friends. I admit that. I'd have already left if it was her being abusive.
So. Turns out I can't read a situation, lost a mate I cared about and have been blocked on social media.
Tldr; I thought my mate was being controlled, but turns out he likes being under the thumb..?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
MY8iKzKHmvpkuolIY2vQEuWP97Q7LYVb
|
a5z25t
|
{
"description": "telling my friend how I felt about something that happened a few days ago",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend how I felt about something that happened a few days ago?
|
I basically got mad through text and said I didn’t like the way he treated me when we were hanging out a couple of days ago.
I texted it to him and he said I was annoying and he said he didn’t want to bring up the fight that I had with my friends. However, he was being rude in other ways when we were hanging out like saying are you really stupid and other stuff like that. He said I was annoying and it was the second time I’ve done this.
He even said those people being mean to me weren’t toxic and didn’t support me at all.
I tried to message him and talk to him for the past few days, but he’s ignoring me.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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|
INFO
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Dc8mZdmM8EJ2rhyBP4IrSrI45WkXURwj
|
b182cp
|
{
"description": "telling someone I don't know that their spouse may be involved in an emotional affair",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 28
}
|
AITA if I tell someone I don't know that their spouse may be involved in an emotional affair?
|
Grad student here. Our class size is small, so we get to know our classmates well compared to other grad programs. Since we started seven months ago, I've noticed one of our married students (Sally) hanging out a lot with another guy in our class (Jake). Sally's husband (Terry) is back home working, and they've been married for over a year.
​
Sally and Jake always sit next to each other in class, walk between classes together, and even hang out just talking when class is over. When they hang out, they talk for about an hour, sometimes more. Their body language when talking is usually flirtatious. For example, Sally will sometimes punch Jake in the arm when laughing, or they'll get super close when showing each other something on their phone. Other times, their conversations appear more serious. I first noticed them hanging out five months ago, and they do this 4-5 times a week. I also saw them on a walk together late at night, and they often go to the lab together outside of class.
​
A couple of my close classmates have also noticed their behavior. It became super obvious when Sally and Jake recently practiced one of our clinical skills on each other for two hours during class; everyone else was able to get it done and swap partners after half an hour. We started making inside jokes about them and will take pictures of them together as a way to confirm our theory.
​
It's bad enough that I wonder if I should send Terry a message (anonymously) saying that Sally may be emotionally involved with her classmate. It takes a lot of trust to spend months at a time apart from a spouse, and from what I've seen, I believe Sally is violating that trust by spending a lot of time with Jake. If I were Terry, I'd want to know if my spouse may be emotionally involved with someone else. Also, If I were Sally, I wouldn't spend one-on-one time with someone of the opposite sex nearly as much as Sally is.
​
AITA if I send Terry an anonymous message with a couple of pictures telling him Sally may be involved in an emotional affair?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 27,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 28
}
|
WRONG
|
nmuQ2G3xFvolryTsLlIQvBewgT5t8mOs
|
as4ih4
|
{
"description": "charging interest on the money my parents borrowed",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for charging interest on the money my parents borrowed?
|
Alright so story time. First time posting so excuse any fallacies within my post. I’m 19 and I live with my parents and two younger siblings. My parents and siblings bank accounts were placed on a hold due to some bills that my parents had been neglecting to pay. My account is in my own name, so it wasn’t affected, and unlike the rest of my family I’ve had access to my money. The whole issue should be cleared up for them by the end of the week, but lately they’ve asked to borrow lots of money. Earlier it wasn’t a big deal, I understood things were a little rough and the payments were for necessities. But lately they’ve been asking for money to use on things that could wait or weren’t really required purchases. They’ve also been somewhat last minute and too abrupt to be considered comfortable (Im sort of meticulous with finances, so I like having at least a few hours in advance to either get cash or plan my own transactions around that kinda stuff) And tonight, we went out to a not so cheap restaurant to eat. Prior to tonight I had assumed that things had been cleared up, but when their card declined I had to yet again borrow out money to cover the check. Now, I love my family and all, but I also have my own expenses (transportation, student loans, phone bills, etc) to pay, and working 35 hours a week on 12 bucks an hour doesn’t leave room for huge expenses. I’ve had to dip into savings and have loaned out almost $1100 to them. They intend to pay me back in full, but because of the last minute and one sided expectation that I cover certain expenses, I’ve thought about charging a 10% interest fee on some of the more unnecessary purchases they’ve asked me to make. I love my family and all, but they haven’t really considered my own financial needs or capabilities in some of their borrowing, nor have they bothered to be frugal (why eat out at a nicer place when you don’t know that you can cover it??) or considerate given my budget and financial needs. In the real world you can’t borrow money without some sort of interest or strings attached, but I don’t want to come off as an asshole.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Zsf9FUtMSqIs0b9FAqq99hKTwKd7tZmh
|
aady5t
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend about his brother's shit talking and ruining their relationship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my best friend about his brother's shit talking and ruining their relationship?
|
So a few years back I was hanging out with my best friend's brother (we'll call him Adam) who was just going on and on about how much of an asshole my friend (We'll call him Billy) was. I asked him if he really believed that stuff and if he wanted to reconsider his words given the severity of the accusations and the fact that he was talking to somebody who is definitely not amused by this. He said that he really believed that his brother Billy was an asshole, a stupid, arrogant douche and other insults like that. After we got done talking, I told Billy what had been said and he decided to cut off all contact with Adam.
So now, five years down the line, Adam has had a few kids, and has tried to patch things up with Billy, in order for the family to be cohesive and get to see each other. This year, Adam and Billy's parents, who are divorced, put aside their differences to have a family Christmas dinner for the first time in over a decade just to be with Adam's kids. Billy was invited but opted not to go because he's still mad about what Adam said all those years ago.
Given the situation, Billy is now blaming me for cursing him with knowledge and ruining his chance to see his niece and nephews grow up, because it's my fault that I told him what Adam said. He's threatening to end our twelve year friendship over this and I am wondering if I'm really at fault.
So tell me, reddit, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not cleaning up after my younger sister's pet Macaw",
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|
AITA for not cleaning up after my younger sister's pet Macaw?
|
Context: I'm 24m, my younger sister, whom we'll call "K", is a few years younger.
We've had this Macaw in our family for about ten years. She was originally purchased by our mom, but has always been closest to K, as well as an older sibling whom is no longer living at home. This Macaw lives outside in a large cage during the summer, and inside on a perch in a closed room during the winter. She doesn't see any interaction most days aside from feeding and changing her water, fixing the perch and replacing toys that she's broken out of boredom, and cleaning up the enormous piles of bird droppings she creates. For years my mom and I have wanted to sell this Macaw because she's messy, temperamental, and honestly living a neglected life right now. We are aware we aren't paying attention to her, and we want to find a home that will take her off our hands - but K ardently refuses to go along with this. K would like us to keep the Macaw forever, but K barely interacts with the Macaw, just like we don't.
Now today, as has happened countless times before, the Macaw flew off her perch and pooped in another part of the room which does not have floor pads laid out as under her perch. At one point I had to access this room to retrieve something, and chose not to clean up the mess at that time - she isn't my pet, and I'm taking care of our other animals as well as feeding the Macaw. I left the door open on accident, and K saw the mess. An hour later she's comes to criticize me for not cleaning up after the "family pet," at which point I tried to explain myself to her concluding in a shouting match where both our tempers rose.
Long story short, K feels that even though I'm not the bird's owner it is EVERYONE in the house's responsibility to clean up after her, no matter what. I, on the other hand, feel that since I am not the bird's owner (and neither its owner or myself WANT the bird) it is not MY responsibility to snap on rubber gloves and scrub bird poop off the floors. Am I being an asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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au8ede
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{
"description": "saying PETA needs to change back to its original ways on r/animalrights",
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|
AITA for saying PETA needs to change back to its original ways on r/animalrights?
|
I am all for animal rights, but I believe PETA takes it to the extreme. My post is on my profile, and that's the one that got me banned. I will post the image in a few minutes so check my profile for that too.
For those of you who somehow don't know, PETA claims to be for animal rights. However, they have done things such as illegally stealing and killing family pets, buying animals and killing them, including a case where they put saltwater lobsters into freshwater (not sure if that's true).
They kill alot of the dogs they are in possession of, 95% of adoptable dogs in their care were killed last year by them. They have killed over 38,000 animals since 1998.
Am I the asshole for asking r/animalrights to make a change?
|
HISTORICAL
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"description": "posting this caption on FB of pic of my son ? \"idk sometimes I wonder if he could be jakes lol crazy we thought they'd turn brown or green by now\"",
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|
WIBTA for posting this caption on FB of pic of my son ? "Idk sometimes I wonder if he could be jakes lol crazy we thought they'd turn brown or green by now"
|
Picture of my 8m son who has awesome bright blue eyes like my little brother. Mom is Hispanic and I'm white with green eyes so its really cool to us.
It's 100% a joke and I'm sure everyone will know I'm kidding, my gf and brother know I play around alot too. Iv said it in front of them so they wouldn't care.. Gf could actually get mad but doubt it. I'll ask her first.
I'm worried I could sound like I'm being bitter and calling out my brother/hinting like I believe it or something weird like that. Am I over thinking it ? We're kinda notorious for being a dicks to each other sometimes but always stupid stuff everyone knows that would never happen and I'm not worried at all about my son not being mine he's my twin lol.
I actually say it alot but I just want to stir up my Facebook make people laugh. iv been mia for a while so I want my first post to be noticed but sometimes I post stupid shit and regret it later lol 😅
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "telling my boyfriend not to refill his wine glass at my house",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
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|
WIBTA if I told my boyfriend not to refill his wine glass at my house?
|
I’m in college and living at my parents place at the moment and every know and then my boyfriend comes over for dinner. While I want him to feel at home I’m also bothered by the fact that he fills up his wine glass maybe 2-3 times.
If it was my wine and my money I wouldn’t care, but it’s my parents and I feel like it’s a bit rude. Whenever I’m at his place he is really generous wit everything which makes us even harder to bring up. So wibta if I tell him not to fill up his glass unless asked?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "telling my brother I was depressed",
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"contranormative_score": 0
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|
WIBTA If I told my brother I was depressed?
|
Obligatory sorry for the format.
I'm a 17 y/o in a bit of a situation. Life has been pretty shit for the whole of my family really. Mums got cancer, and if the treatment doesn't work for her, she has six months to live. Dad... doesn't like me and wants me out of the house the second I turn 18. I'm trying to join the army (UK) and have been medically deferred for 2 1/2 years, maybe soon to get in.
My brother had just come out of an abusive relationship and is still healing, but is the only one I can really trust right now. He's been pushing me to get in the army from day 1. If you are depressed or have too many symptoms, you're given an automatic permanent deferral, and will only be allowed to join after a few years, after you've passed a very rigorous psychological exam.
I have a backup plan to save my ass if things go south and I'm kicked out.
Would I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "pushing my girlfriend to workout when she doesn't want to",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA For pushing my girlfriend to workout when she doesn’t want to?
|
We’ve both wanted to get in shape for a long time, winter has passed and summer is fast approaching, and we haven’t done anything workout related. Each time she leaves the house, and I build up the energy, i go for brisk walks or do push ups, and begin to motivate myself to do it every day, and do better.
So when my girlfriend comes around, I try telling her “hey we should start doing this because we could really benefit and feel better.”
So when I wake up in the morning, i try my best to wake her up and go on a walk with me, because otherwise she just sits around, and when she sits around, i sit around.
But every time i wake her up, she always jumps to 10 and gets extremely mad saying things like “fine lets fucking go.” and i know it’s not an insecurity deal, so I don’t know what has her so peeved other than waking up at 7:30-8am,
She’ll make the excuse that she would rather do it on her own time, but then she won’t ever do it, and then when I confront her she’ll say she needs a gym membership or the setting is less than desirable so she doesn’t feel the need to,
And every time she yells at me, i just want to separate from her, because I want us to do this together, bond over getting healthy, but i feel like I am alone in this. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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aazws6
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{
"description": "breaking a promise to my boyfriend that he's already broke",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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}
|
WIBTA if I broke a promise to my boyfriend that he's already broke?
|
Me(17F) and my boyfriend(18) have been together on/off for 2 and a half years. Both times we've "broken-up" it's been because of a female friend of his convincing him to leave me. I know we weren't perfect but he never tried talking to me but whatever, we were both 16 so who cares right? He text me on my birthday asking to hang out and we got back together and that was about 10 months ago and we've been great since.
But now all of a sudden he's been sneaking off to see the friend that broke us up, and trying to play it off to me by just saying he's meeting "someone" but I know it's her. I'm not jealous, and I don't think he's cheating but when we got back together I stopped contact with one of my ex's (who was one of my closest friends for our whole relationship and was telling me the same things his friend told him) because I knew it bothered him and we had an agreement that we weren't going to let other people interfere with our relationship again.
WIBTA if I went to see my ex again since he's sneaking off to see his friend without telling me? I'm not going to cheat or anything I just miss one of my closest friends.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "wanting no military uniforms at my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 420,
"contranormative_score": 106
}
|
AITA For Wanting No Military Uniforms At My Wedding?
|
My SO and I are ready to make our 5 year relationship official.
A bit of background, we met online and were long distance for 3 years before spending 2 years together travelling back and forth. We are planning a K1 visa and are ready to start the 90 days this year for a September wedding.
His BIL was in the Marines 8 years ago and always wears his uniform to special occasions. I straight up said I would not allow this as this Wedding is a celebration of love and committment and not a "oh you fought for the country." I would prefer if we kept any type of war, fighting, negativity away from our day.
His BIL is causing a fuss, and as you can tell im not from the US but my husband to be has my back on this. This day of ours, we want it to be about love and us. Even his wife is rolling her eyes.
AITA for not understanding his BIL's uniform?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "hooking up with a few girls within 3 months and pissing off my now love interest",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for hooking up with a few girls within 3 months and pissing off my now love interest?
|
Ok. Back story. I work at a climbing gym. I met a girl there in September who is also my coworker. We started hanging out/hooking up for about three weeks. After a night of climbing with her and another female coworker, she ghosted me. I now know it’s because she thought I was flirting with my other coworker but in reality I was just being nice because she was new. She also posted a photo on Instagram with another dude a few days later so I thought she had moved on. So three weeks, I was ghosted and she had a pic on Instagram with another dude.
When she ghosted me I tried to reach out to her but she wouldn’t respond or communicate with me at all. If she did respond, it was just vague answers. So, I moved on. A few weeks rolled by and she wasn’t talking to me, but guess who was talking to me? The OTHER girl from the night of climbing. So, she and I had a one week fling after that girl ghosted me.
We stopped our fling just because. But things are chill between us. We are friendly to eachother and actually are decent friends now.
So from September -End of October I hooked up with two of my coworkers. Then I met another girl and we had a little fling from November - December. But that ended because of distance.
Middle of December, the first girl (who ghosted me) just randomly starts talking to me again. Like completely out of the blue. So we start chatting again. In January we started hooking up again and have been until last night.
Last night, everything I have just typed, she found out. I told her everything because I want to date this girl. So I told her. And she was so mad. She couldn’t believe I would hook up with our other coworker and another girl within our 3 months of not talking at all. She said she was pissed. She said she always thought I was a guy who could just “move on from one girl to the next” and that my story had “proven” her theory. But if she already thought that,why would she come back to me? AITA for hooking up with other girls? I honestly am pretty distraught about this and want to know if my point of view is insane. I just don’t know.
DISCLAIMER: Me and the girl who ghosted me were never dating. Just hooking up. I want to date her now, but I highly doubt it happens because of everything I just typed. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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azjw7a
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{
"description": "telling her not to bring her kid to my house anymore",
"pronormative_score": 164,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
WIBTA if I tell her not to bring her kid to my house anymore?
|
Been dating a woman for about three months now. Everything’s been going great. She has a son who is 14. I met him and thought he was a good kid.
He stole money from me last night though. I have a jar that I keep spare cash in. Just change and like extra $1s and $5s. I noticed after they left it was almost empty of the bills.
I immediately texted her to tell her. At first she got mad at the accusation. Eventually later I got another text from her saying she found the money and offered to bring it over.
I don’t want to have to worry about him stealing in my house. I have a lot of expensive things I’ve collected over the year. I’m not saying that I want to ban him from my house forever, but for the time being I’d rather not have him here.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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afmrm8
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{
"description": "subtweeting my friend/boss and calling him racist",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for subtweeting my friend/boss and calling him racist?
|
So I (F, 24 y. o. then) worked in this company where I was introduced by my friend when they were looking for a copywriter. My friend Ann was already working there and she was friends with Dan, the guy who ended up being my boss (not the CEO, just a manager). Normally I wouldn't befriend a boss, but because of Ann we hang out in the same group and naturally became friendly towards each other.
One day I, Dan and some other coworkers were coming home from work and had a discussion about POC/LGBT representation. Dan said that seeing obligatory black people in every movie annoys him and feels unnatural. (I must clarify: this happens in Russia with little to no black people in real life, opinions like this are default among most people here). I tried to explain how representation works, we kept the discussion civil and said goodbye on good terms.
On my way home I kept thinking about it and was upset by this convo. So I did what felt natural to me - I vented on twitter, saying "dude, if you have to say "I'm not racist, but...", you are racist". I did not say his name, he'd never read my twitter, I have less than 300 followers and none of them know this guy, so to me it felt impersonal.
Next day Dan added me on other social network and I tweeted that it felt weird considering I had some gay art on my wall. Some things he said earlier made it clear Dan wasn't a fan of gay stuff either.
I came to work after the weekend. Dan seemed gloomy, he asked me to see him in a conference room. There he pulled out printed screenshots of my twitter, of tweets I wrote about him. He miraculously found my twitter by googling my art page URL exactly the day I wrote about him. He acted very offended by the fact that I called him a racist based on his opinions. He did not try to ask me why I thought of him like this. Instead he asked me to quit, otherwise threatened to fire me for "loss of trust" (later I found out you can be fired for loss of trust only if you work with money and you steal something). He also threatened to sue me, but not for slender, rather for extremism because extremism clause in Russian law has something about derogatory comments and Dan said that my tweets were just that (once again, later I realized it was tremendous BS). It felt very surreal, but it got even more surreal as I tried to explain myself and confessed to him that race/sexuality stuff has so much meaning to me because I am bisexual myself. This is where he suddenly confessed he was also bi, that's why he was upset by in your face representation - because it made straight people annoyed and didn't help the cause. I was disarmed and confused.
This conversation ended up in me begging for forgiveness, promising to be on my best behavior. He agreed but promised to keep an eye on me.
He never got to fire me, couple month after that the whole company fell apart, everyone was let go. Last time I saw him was in the said friend group, he acted like we were friends. To this day I can't feel anything towards him but repulsion.
I told this story to some of my friends, everyone predictably was on my side. But lately I had told it in a more neutral group and surprisingly one girl said that Dan was absolutely right and I got what I deserved for calling people racist without proof and talking shit behind their back. This made me wonder if I'm really the asshole in this story so here we are.
I personally think I was probably in the wrong when I tweeted this stuff instead of talking to him directly. But he was in the wrong when he decided to make it a work matter instead of a personal relationship matter and blew it out of proportion.
TL;DR boss said there were too many black people in movies, I vented on twitter and called him racist, he found those tweets and wanted to fire me for offending him.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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a9ejfy
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{
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|
AITA for Almost Causing My Soon to be BILs to Lose Their Inheritance
|
My fiance has a very close relationship with his 3 overprotective older brothers. They have made their distaste for me very clear. A few times they've tried to get fiance to break up with me. Once fiance told them about our engagement they stopped talking to him for about a month. Things seems to have settled down. They had stopped insulting me to my face. A few days ago fiance was out with his brothers and I guess the subject of sex came up. He ended up sharing that we haven't had sex, and now they're bothering me again. While we were all over their parents house for dinner, I was told for all that I "put him through" I could have at least "given it up." They thought sex was the only reason why he "put up" with me. I found to bullying to be burdensome and ended crying in the bathroom. Fiance's grandmother walked in on me. She expressed that she was shocked because she has never seen me cry before (I would have rather been caught on the toilet) and demanded to know why. I told her, and after that she threatened to remove fiance's brothers from her will. Unfortunately, fiance's brothers used this to claim that I have manipulated their grandmother and now fiance is having his doubts about me. He found that it was highly suspect that I just happened to "show emotion" while his sensitive grandma was around. I don't think I've anything wrong. It's not like I have sought her out, she just found me.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a7wawd
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{
"description": "reporting my Girlfriends roommate for Obsessive shoplifting",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I Reported My Girlfriends Roommate For Obsessive Shoplifting
|
My girlfriend "Amy" lives with a girl she knows ("Kate") family. The family is nice enough, but their daughter Kate is horrendous, she and Amy used to be friends, but lots of things that have happened between them, has caused a rift (it is not worth going into detail).
Amy just told me that Kate is a kleptomaniac, and she has stolen at least $2000+ worth of clothes, books, games, toys, and makeup. We live in a fairly small town, and we know people who work at the stores she has stolen from, and Kate would (without my girlfriends knowledge) use her a distraction letting her talk to her friends for minutes while she would go and shoplift. She will also go and scout out stores for security cameras and guards. What I'm saying is this girl is not just doing it in the spur of the moment, she is purposely making plans and using people as distractions so she can do it. She has admitted that it gives a rush.
I am disgusted by what she is doing, but not only cause she is stealing from people we know and are friends with, but she is also using my girlfriend to do it, Amy only just found out the other night about what has been going on for months. She is not poor or by any means struggling, she has a full time job and lives with her parents rent, food, and gas money free. So she does it for the thrill, which I don't even know what to think.
Would I be the asshole if I reported Kate to the police or stores she has stolen from?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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b7u9xz
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{
"description": "going to a party when my mother didn't tell me yes or no",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for going to a party when my mother didn't tell me yes or no?
|
AITA? This friday I (F16) went to a party at a friends house, I was grounded after I invited my friends the week before to my house for lunch and they spilled some oil on the floor and the wall, my mom grounded me for a month. But a friend was planning her birthday party so I really wanted to go (besides we were going to drink alcohol and play some kissing games and stuff, so I was pretty stoked to go) I asked my mom and she told me that we would see later, the day after she told me that I sent her a message while I was in school (around 10AM) asking her if I could go or not, she never responded me but I know she had seen the message because it was whatsapp and the marks were blue.. so at 7PM when I got home I saw she hadn't responded.
So I got mad and went to hangout with my friends before the party, they told me I had big balls but that I should still text my mom where I was and what i was going to do, I didn't have internet or credit to text her so I asked a friend if she could lend me some, she did and I told my mom that I was with the guys and we were going to the party in a bit, since that moment I didn't have internet all night long..
So I went to the party and after I came back she was waiting for me in the kitchen and she yelled at me telling me I was disrespectfull and that I was stupid and an idiot.. she grounded me for 2 months, one part of me thinks she was in the right but the other one is angry at her because she didn't reply to me and I was hurt by that..
TL;DR: I went to a friends party without my moms explicit permission and she grounded me for 2 months on top of the 1 month I already had.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b3s181
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}
|
AITA for not wanting my MIL to get my daughter involved with horses/horse riding?
|
I love my MIL (and SIL who is also super into horses) to death, but this issue is really starting to bug me and my fiancé.
We live in an area where a lot of people (mostly women) are OBSESSED with horses and riding horses and owning horses just to say they have horses and just.... horses.
I have never been interested in that kind of thing. I can recognize that horses are a beautiful, elegant creature but I just have never gotten into it. Neither has my fiancé. He has dated girls who had horses and he just couldn’t deal with it.
We have a 13 month old daughter and my MIL is constantly talking about how she is going to get her crazy about horses and riding them and all of that. We don’t want her to. We want our daughter to be involved in more extra curricular activities like karate and baseball and soccer and the like.
I understand that it’s a hobby. I understand that it’s loved by a lot of people, and that it isn’t hurting anybody. But what this mostly comes down to is that my MIL expects us to pay for it, and I know that is an expensive hobby because she can barely afford for her daughter to do it. I don’t want to pay for something she is insisting our daughter gets into, especially when our daughter isn’t even old enough to tell us what she wants to do. We don’t have a lot of money, just like MIL, so I would rather put this on the back burner and wait until our daughter is way older to even consider her doing it. When I told MIL this, she said we were being unfair and inconsiderate of our daughter.
AITA for telling my MIL we don’t want our daughter to get into horse riding and for expecting her to pay for it if she wants it so bad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 14,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 44,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
RIGHT
|
VSLcZ8lQAdHTNgym3UCawC856jmhKDw0
|
aniqul
| null |
AITA- left bar as friends were arriving to meet
|
Last weekend i was out with my SO for date night and we were trying to meet up w friends. They said we are taking an Uber to Bar X in 15 minutes. We took an Uber there to meet them. And waited. And waited. I texted hey has anyone accepted your fare yet? No response. 45 minutes passed. I then texted sorry we are tired and heading home. I then got a reply that that was bs that we were leaving bc they were arriving right now. I then recounted the waiting game and no response from them until I was leaving. No reply since. I texted something unrelated to the group text and no reply.
So... AITA?
Also why do some people think it’s ok to just not reply when you’re uncomfortable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
U4TjfEDzBwDEZGXdy6Um0geQMd3xfVw1
|
b0g9aa
|
{
"description": "getting a lot of beads on Bourbon Street last week for Mardi Gras? (i.e. I flashed my boobs a lot). fiance is very upset with me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for getting a lot of beads on Bourbon Street last week for Mardi Gras? (I.e. I flashed my boobs a lot). Fiance is very upset with me.
|
The story really is that simple, a few friends and I drove to NOLA for Mardi Gras last week. I promised myself I'd behave but a few hurricanes and I was bra less and boobs out in a competition to collect as many beads as I can.
Fiance is pretty upset (not like breakup upset) but he still thinks that at 26 I should have matured past this kind of stuff.
Part of me feels like an asshole, part of me feels like they are my boobs and I might as well enjoy them while they look good
Please help me figure out if I'm the asshole or not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
Ht3lUAQnSvz7iNSLR4sQXXBHu3SB9PEF
|
aq2i3h
|
{
"description": "flipping out when my ex and my housemate snogged at my birthday celebrations",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for flipping out when my ex and my housemate snogged at my birthday celebrations?
|
There's going to be a lot of context here so feel free to skip to the TL;DR. It's one of those memories that keeps me up in the evening and I want to make peace with it.
I had an ex-boyfriend (call him Dave) who I dated for 2 years. We had been friends in the same close-knit group since high school and ended up dating during university. It all fell apart and we split "mutually", only for Dave to ghost me for a long time. It was pretty tough and made the getting-over-it process quite difficult. I did manage to make peace with those feelings for the most part, although it was always painful and awkward for me to speak to him - whilst he got to have a relatively "pain-free" friendship with me. He got a new gf (Ella) and got to not really suffer much emotional fall out. I know this from the one or two times I managed to actually speak to him after we broke up.
Fast-forward a year and Dave and Ella have split it up. It turns out Ella was really paranoid and toxic, she had essentially banned him from hanging out with me after the first few months of them dating. The ghosting from Dave is partially explained away. In the same year, actually moved to a new city and got a really cool new job and ended up living with a different high school friend, from the same close-knit group, call her Lily. It is the summer time and I choose to take a small vacation away to USA for 2 weeks to meet up with old time friends and enjoy my birthday. On the day I return to the UK, I plan a big birthday party and invite all my friends from high school to come over and stay in the city. I tentatively invite Dave, as we reconnected once he and Ella split, and let him know that I am glad we are friends.
The party day arrives and my friends all arrive through the afternoon and evening, we drink in our flat and it's great to have the gang back together. We head out to the club and party a little more, drink a little more. Once we get home, I make the front room into like a giant pillow-y nest for all my friends with sofas and mattresses for everyone; I cook a big batch of pasta for everyone to have as their drunk bedtime food. I fucking love trying to be the hostess with most-ess, can you tell, lol? Lily (housemate) offers to put Dave up in her room (as well as one other friend of ours, who declines). This itched my anxious brain a bit because she \*always\* flat out refuses to have people stay in her room when we've hosted people in the past. But, whatever, we are all friends and have been for years - if Dave wants a comfy bed instead of a sofa, who am I to stop him, eh?
The next night I couldn't sleep. I had that \*feeling\*, y'know, that Lily and Dave had got up to something. I actually had a panic attack about it and feel like such an idiot - they're both single adults who can do what they like. Over-reacting x2000. I went for an early morning walk to clear my head and messaged another friend from the close-knit group once it hit an appropriate time; asking if she knew whether Dave and Lily had done anything. She said yes, she knew Dave and Lily had kissed once they had gone to bed together. Dave and Lily had both just come out of difficult relationships and were surely in need of just some good old human affection.
Here's where I want to know if I am the asshole; I flew off the handle. As everyone had left the city already, I made a group chat of me, Lily, and Dave and demanded to know why they thought it was ok and told them they'd really, really hurt me. They responded, as anyone would, that they're lonely and single and it was just a drunk kiss but also with a classic "sorry your feelings are hurt". I rebutted with that doesn't stop my feelings from being hurt and I would like an apology for their actions, not because my feelings hurt, trying to force them into confronting what they'd done as if it was an OH-SO-TERRIBLE-EVIL thing. I mull this over a lot, because Dave actually refused to talk to me because my response made him so anxious and upset that he'd done something wrong. Lily apologised after a bit of prodding and poking, but it took a long time for Dave to understand why I was upset and for him to apologise.
They were both single. It was just a drunken kiss. I made them both very upset for calling them out, and I could've done it more tactfully. But also, it was my birthday, I was trusting Dave for the first time in 2 years, and they snuck off to bed to kiss. AITA?
TL;DR: Ex and housemate kissed in bed at my birthday party, after I was welcoming the ex back into my life after 2 years of hurt. It was a drunk kiss and we were all single adults at the time. When i found out, i got really mad at them, flew off the handle and then demanded an apology in tactless and hurtful way. AITA for being mean to them after they shared a kiss?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
3uy9OCyLAzfsT1pFCn86xcyIXGK75efB
|
a8bf1f
|
{
"description": "texting my roommate that I'm moving out",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I texted my roommate that I’m moving out?
|
My roommate and I used to be close friends. Then she overstepped some boundaries and tried to get overly involved in my personal life. We ended up having a big argument, and then she ended our friendship. I would have been fine remaining friends (even though I was starting to realize she’s a bit wacko), because I was planning on moving out in about 6 months anyways for grad school.
But now I see no reason to stay. She ended the friendship and I feel uncomfortable in the house. My home is my sanctuary. It’s incredibly important to my mental health that it’s a place I don’t have to feel stressed. So I’m leaving.
Would I be an asshole if I just texted her that I’m moving out, instead of telling her in person? I need to tell her ASAP in able to give months notice, as well as give her some time to think about if she is going to move out as well. If we were still friends, I would have been courteous and talked about it in person. But now I feel no obligation, especially since she is the one that told me I’m not someone she wants in her life.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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