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B4zXfFQkg9Axp67HycTD3VEgQ7umO8W8
|
afb97a
|
{
"description": "causing a long term online friend to dissapear from the platform",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for causing a long term online friend to dissapear from the platform.
|
This was last year. I was in a friendship with a girl who I'll call 'H'. We had a lot of mutual online friends (of which I lost contact with most of them) and we had been friends with up until the 22nd of January last year.
At first things were going well but things seemed to be quite off. She'd make me worry constantly by making it sound like she was going to commit suicide, she'd interrogate me if I didn't message her first (we are in different countries and it seemed like she didn't notice the time differences), she'd constantly cry that no-one cared about her and she'd test me and one other mutual friend who I spoke with often and I still do. Despite all of this I stayed friends with her, even though at some points I genuinely felt threatened as she would always want to voice chat or see a picture of me to 'know I was real' and stuff.
I was talking with my mutual friend about this worrying behaviour and they told me about how 'H' told them that they would grope them so I got mad.
Next conversation with H, she was complaining that everyone around her seemed to be in a bad mood today and she was blaming herself, as always. I exploded in anger, I told her that she brang me down constantly and that she has no room to complain and then I told her off for her saying she would grope our mutual friend, I made them cry.
Our argument happened on the 5th of January, she messaged me everyday apologising up until the 10th. I didn't respond. She tried once more on the 22nd and she left the chat on the 20th March.
She now has no profile picture and her name is now just a full stop.
TL;DR A long term online friend made me feel uncomfortable so I yelled at them then ignored them, they are no longer on the social media platform.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
SBE9PH8g2ezfqSr0KSX3j0sWGKVgLo7U
|
b0bq83
|
{
"description": "refusing my bro and mom to live with me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing my bro and mom to live with me?
|
Mom is financially irresponsible, has an eviction on her record and has difficulty getting a place because of that ( she’s got a bit of a disability due to a medical issue about 3 years ago ). My brother had his own place, as of Friday they must vacate the apartment ( my mom has been staying with him, and I just found out a few days ago, she wasn’t helping my brother financially) and is now facing an eviction also due to losing his job and a few other silly mistakes. I’ve always been there for them when things go south, but now I’m tired of being the one they run to. I understand I may have set that standard but I really need time to get my life in order and personally I’d like to do that with out them in my home. They can’t offer to pay any money until about a month from now, and I have a problem saying no as I know it’s cold outside etc and i dont know how I can sleep with the guilt knowing they are out there with no place to stay. How can I come out on top of this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
0o3jRM38mclEs5VPzLi0L1EJ1XPCGAoJ
|
alfuku
| null |
AITA? Situation with me (F19) and boyfriend (M38)
|
So, some background information. I started this age gap relationship about a year ago, and within that year I have moved in with him, being only 18 at the time I did not have many opportunities to have a full time career and make as much money as a 38 year old man with multiple degrees. Despite this, I worked my best and got a job I am good at and I give up every cent I have to go towards us. He also has 2 children, who I have fully taken in as my own. As a 19 year old, I have decided to become a stepmom, full on packing lunches, helping with homework, giving baths.
We used to have a pretty great sex life, but I, unfortunately, suffer from depression/borderline personality disorder. Antidepressants are known to kill libido, and I also experienced some weight gain that lowered my self-esteem.
He started to resent me for not making enough money, despite being just out of high school. He resented my lack of drive and when I refused sex, he would guilt me and give me the silent treatment for hours. Tell me that I don't love him anymore. It made me feel like I should say yes even if I didn't want to.
We have argued about this over time, but always fought through it. Recently, I looked at his phone (I know it was wrong to do that) and I saw he was using dating apps, trying to get with other girls. Naturally, I was hurt, and I left to stay with my parents to take some time to forgive him and adjust to a new medication to help with my BPD and sex drive. He has not tried to make up for this in any way, he insists he didn't want to get anyone else (why get a dating app then?). He has just guilted me saying that I left him and the children for "cop-out reasons". I just said I needed some time, and he is now moving all of my things out.
TL;DR - my sex drive was low, boyfriend got a dating app to find someone else, insists he did no wrong, and is saying it is my fault he did it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 51,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 51,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
MpAWOJNhXVo9yh2EBZCtFVReSoArOeGg
|
afmgw9
|
{
"description": "cleaning the House to go hang out with friends",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Cleaning the House to Go Hang Out With Friends?
|
Am I the Asshole for cleaning the house to go watch a movie with my friend? (Sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile)
Earlier today my friend desperately needed to get out of the house because of family issues, and I offered to take her to go see a movie. We decided to watch a movie at 12:20 PM, and as it was only a couple of hours away, I had to do my chores first, or my Mom wouldn't let me go out anywhere. I hurried and did them, and did a few extra chores while I was at it to incentivize my mom to let me go. After I finished, I asked my Mom if I could go, and she said no. I didn't talk back or argue, and I accepted the answer. I texted my friend and told her that I couldn't go. As the day goes on, my mom starts to notice that I cleaned the house. She then asks me "Did you just clean the house just so you could go watch that movie with your friend?" And me, not trying to lie, replied with a "Yes." I would've cleaned the house either way, but not as thoroughly and not as early in day. And now, throughout the day, my Mom is acting incredibly passive aggressive, and is being honestly kinda rude in general. She keeps saying things like "Oh, let's see the next time O do something for you," and "Let's see my what my answer is gonna be next time when you ask me to do something." I didn't want to lie to her, and I genuinely don't know if I did something wrong.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
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|
RIGHT
|
T1G4PTWiBU4jFDHLQa1534PdUOnD7R7m
|
b3q88g
|
{
"description": "asking my neighbor to clean up their yard before we put our house on the market",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my neighbor to clean up their yard before we put our house on the market?
|
Hey Reddit, the thought of even doing this gives me so much cringe and embarrassment I'm starting to think it must be the wrong thing to do.
We're about to sell our home (townhouse with backyard separated by wooden fence) and over the span of winter, my neighbor's have let their large dog destroy their yard with dog poop. You can see into your neighbor's yard when you're looking out the second floor deck. The entire community has green grass and then looking into their backyard, all you see is completely yellow dead grass with loads of dog poop on top. It's a minefield. Now that it's getting warmer, if you're outside playing, you can smell the poop.
We've lived here for over ten years and have always been friendly. We're not close friends, just smiles and waves if we see each other outside but not a friendship. My husband even mows their front grass in the summer because our front yards are connected and they are very thankful, as the owner is older (but has grown sons in and out of the house).
Anyway, I'm afraid potential buyers will see the minefield and be turned off from making an offer. WIBTA if I asked them to clean up? I'll even offer to do it myself but I feel like I'd be insulting them and they'll be defensive and angry. I like my neighbor's and don't want to cause any potential drama before we move...
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
cZGOW3YE8HO0layXZ7ke548uWrezw8nw
|
b744tq
|
{
"description": "calling a rude girl fat after wasting my time",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 50
}
|
AITA For calling a rude girl fat after wasting my time?
|
Hey reddit, so this took place today after my last class (im in college) of the day, I was about to be heading home after a long day of difficult classes.
I pop my headphones in and head down the main staircase to get to the exit. After the first flight down I hear what sounds like a group of girls talking, which in itself is not unusual at all.
I round the corner and 'lo-and-behold' there are 3 girls, standing in the complete middle of the stairway. I was in no type of mood (nor did I have a Pokeflute) for this bullshit so instead of asking them to move, I say fuck it and instead make the mistake of trying to squeeze in between the little amount of space between the rightmost one and the railing
"Umm, excuse me!?" the Girl closest to where I was trying to pass thorough says to me before allowing me to get to close.
"Yeah?" I replied, taking out one of my headphones "What?".
"What do you think you're doing?" Same girl says, this time I notice her friends are giggling.
"I mean.. trying to go down the stairs? What does it look like?" I admit, saying 'what does it look like' may have been a bit unwarranted...
"Look, can you move? It doesn't make much sense to talk in the middle of stairs why not go to the cafeteria or something?" I say before giving her a chance to respond
Snorlax is now silent and her friends aren't laughing anymore, instead all three turn to each other with a 'get a load of this guy' look on their faces until 1st girl says.
"Whats your issue? Go down a different set of stairs" says the girl.
I was shocked, flabbergasted. How the fuck don't they see how selfish and inconvient standing in the MIDDLE of a fucking staircase is? Now im usually a pretty stubborn person, so maybe a different day I would've waited until they let me through, but at this point in the week, I was just tired and wanted to go home.
"Stupid bitch..." I mumble under my breath semi-defeated, turning around to exit on the floor nearest to us
"What??" The girl says to her friends "Did you just call me a bitch?"
I begrudgingly respond "Yeah, you're kind of being unreasonable, and rude so..."
"Haha says the "guy" (she actually did air quotes with her fingers) that was to nervous to ask a group of girls to move." *her and friends proceed to explode with laughter*
Now im furious. She somehow had spun this on me, Not gonna lie I shouldve held back from saying what I am about to say, but try to put yourself in my shoes, I was too fed up and her insult got me 10x more angry.
"Whatever you say, fat bitch. You know theres a gym a few blocks down right? Maybe I would've been able to get down the stairs if you weren't so fucking fat."
The 3 girls are all now standing mouth agape, with the one I had just insulted getting very visibly angry/upset or something yo. I turned around and started to leave for good this time. She or one of her friends yelled "Fucking douchebag!!" as I exited the staircase but idgaf that feel good.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 22,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 50
}
|
WRONG
|
t4QLvvSMgeR8A4VIQFl9BSZ1pI2m0sld
|
a8sj9m
|
{
"description": "wanting to smoke out my little brother",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to smoke out my little brother?
|
Is there a sub for “would I be the asshole?” If so, this might belong there.
My little bro is 16. He just confessed to me that he smokes weed occasionally. He buys his weed from a stranger behind a 7/11 within walking distance from his school.
I’m approaching 25. I consider myself a good role model. I have a degree, a career, and just bought a house with my girlfriend. I confessed to him that I’ve smoked plenty of weed and that I can easily get my hands on it when I want it. I told him that I’d much rather he let me get bud for him (safely) then go through a stranger.
I want him to smoke with me so he knows that I won’t “narc” on him to my parents. My parents tried the whole “abstinence” thing on me and it did not work. I’ve been a recreational user of all kinds since I was younger than he is. When I was his age, I put myself in plenty of dangerous situations so I could get stoned and avoid getting grounded. I want to be able to be honest with him and help him avoid the same mistakes I made.
TLDNR;
Am I the asshole/would I be the asshole for wanting to get stoned with my little bro so he doesn’t but drugs from the rando behind 7/11?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9fZAWiSPDae5azk7p4avUCFLUA5lG4yw
|
afoti5
|
{
"description": "refusing to speak to my sil",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to speak to my SIL?
|
I’ve made some mistakes in life. Primarily, I was an active and self-destructive alcoholic for about 10 years and I’ve gotten things a bit more on track now. 2 years sober :) These details are important.
So the sister in law... basically it went down like this: I met a woman on a dating app, we’ll call her Erin. That’s actually her name and no one I know will read this. We hit it off and in the process discover that she used to work with my brother and his wife and the three are good friends. Erin and I hang out a few times, get along really well and eventually start dating. My SIL decides she’s not having this for whatever reason. And so begins the campaign. She tells Erin all sorts of sordid details from my past (failed relationships, addiction, jail time, etc). Mind you I’m very upfront about the things I’ve done. It’s not who I am, but I refuse to hide who I was.
Many of these details would’ve only been gained second hand (via my brother) because I don’t share much with those who I’m close with, let alone someone I rarely see. This goes on and on pretty much anytime my SIL hangs out with this Erin. She even goes so far as to tell Erin’s mother things about me in a hope it will stop us from dating.
Now, she never said anything to me save for telling me Erin was “crazy”. She wasn’t the most grounded person, but she was fine and I legit enjoyed her company. Finally, I get it out of my brother that his wife simply doesn’t want Erin as her in law. Because obviously two months of dating automatically leads to marriage...
Eventually, Erin and I split up. It wasn’t directly because of my SIL, but shit really poisoned the well.
Here the AITA question: My family is well aware I have an issue with my SIL. We were never the closest people but I always made and effort. But after that, I shut her out completely. She’s never made any effort to apologize, or even address what she did. At family events I ignore her, and pretty do the bare minimum when I have to. The likelihood of her apologizing is pretty slim. I know this as much as everyone else in my family. AITA for continuing to hold a grudge?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zJtPU4Skc7sGtnS8RQJtTqMu7NioyxD0
|
au3nfo
|
{
"description": "annoying the people at my art table",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for annoying the people at my art table?
|
Hello! My name is Riley and this is my story of my middle school art class. So there is a couple of people in this story that I will address with fake names. Marissa, Elena, Abby, and lets say Audree. I am still in this art class so if you guys have any advice that would be great.
It was a new semester, I was so excited for art. I’m not very good at art but it was still very enjoyable. The art teacher gives us are assigned seats and tells us we can move after she takes attendance. Now this is fine with me. After she takes attendance I go find my friends and we all laugh and play around.
Two weeks later Elena takes my seat. She knows that I have sat there for a while but she still sits there. I ask her if she could move because I have sat there for a while. I realize my tone of voice was a little more bitchy then I wanted it to be so I kind of just awkwardly laugh it off. She says no. I get really mad and just go sit somewhere else.
The next day I apologize and ask if I can sit back where I used to. She says yes and I sit there. Once I sit there she takes one good look at my art work and kinda roasts it. Now I want revenge, badly. So I start being a little annoying. Now I will admit what I am doing is childish but I am only 13. I annoy Elena, Audree, Abby, and Marissa a little bit my singing and by copying what they are saying. Surprisingly Abby gets the most angry. Audree continues to criticize my art and Elena starts to call me ugly and say I am a bully.
The next day I step on the back of Abby’s shoe and puts her hand around my throat. I am a very short and weak eight grader (about 4 foot 8 inches and only weight about 80 pounds) This girl Abby is a basketball player and her friend let’s cal her Jamie tells her to STOP! She does but now I feel like I am the asshole for sure. Please give me advice.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
OWKkyrlIsKANtR7jiRR7wfBmUpdGW0ru
|
akatca
|
{
"description": "drinking at my company party while my girlfriend was at home, concerned about her grandpa being rushed in the hospital",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for drinking at my company party while my girlfriend was at home, concerned about her grandpa being rushed in the hospital?
|
So, basically this all happened the last few days.
My company throws some really great party every year, and after being unable to attend a few times I was really excited this time, given that I am not the best at socializing with people at work so I was kind of hoping to get some good drinking with colleagues going on. I was really seeing this as a great opportunity to get into some groups and circles I am usually too shy to approach. My girlfriend knew that. And also, the parties are usually really big and lush, because my employer really wants us to have a great time.
As it turned out, while I was being driven there, my girlfriend texted me that her grandpa was having a bad time, he seemed to be bedridden and not really able to talk too much. Of course I tried to comfort her and trying to calm her down. Maybe a bit of context here: She is usually the type of person who tends to overreact when it comes to medical conditions, and I on the other hand already lost both my grandparents a while ago, so I know the likes of which medical conditions tend to appear on old people.
Anyways, she tended to respond really rude in my opinion, just some quick one liners, not really providing me and information or proper conversation, even though I tried to cheer her up and consolidate her. I was having a great time at the party, and I kind of didn't want to let this drag me down, so at some point I also only responded with some quick answers.
As the night progressed, I was getting kind of drunk, but not in a super bad way, I was just having an amazing time with my colleagues. At some point she told me her grandpa was brought to the hospital and I once again tried to consolidate her, but it was noticeable that my messages were getting less readable given my state of drunkenness.
Fast forward to the morning after, she was super pissed and disappointed that I didnt take proper care of her and consolidated her. She did not really care about what I did or how my party went.
So, AITA for getting drunk and kind of leaving my girlfriend aside in order to have a great time with colleagues at my company party?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
03BniZIc2H4Hs2hjovLYVm9WK2FMbV9i
|
b1dxnr
|
{
"description": "drunkenly taking someones teriyake sauce and getting my position at uni threatened",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 27
}
|
AITA for drunkenly taking someones teriyake sauce and getting my position at uni threatened
|
Title may sound a little simple but the issue is pretty complicated and I would appreciate some input.
I am a uni student living on campus and about four months ago, after a night out, a few friends and I went back to their accomodation. We were hanging out in their kitchen for a bit and when they said they were going to sleep I excused myself and headed out. On the the way out of the kitchen I saw a bottle of teriyake sauce and I just decided to take it with me for whatever reason.
It sat in my kitchen for a couple days, I didn't use it and didn't really know why I took it but because its only worth a couple pounds I wasn't really bothered about it. Then my mates messaged me telling me that the person whos it was wanted it back and so I went back and gave it to them.
Now four months later I recieve a letter telling me that I bullied this person by taking their sauce and they reported me and I must attend a hearing with the disciplinary committee. Well that was yesterday and whilst I thought I would get a slap on the wrist boy was I wrong....
They called me a thief, said how would I like it if someone did that to me and even equated it to murder somehow to which I laughed and the police officer ripped into me for not taking the issue seriously. At the end they told me that I would recieve a university and a halls warning which I was blown away by. If I get one more of those it means I'll be kicked out of my accomodation and likely kicked out of uni.
So theres the story, and I was just wondering if ITA? I know I shouldn't have taken the sauce and being drunk isn't an excuse but I did return it and this sort of thing is always happening at uni, people use eachothers food and breaking stuff is a common occurrence. I really think this has been blown massivly out of proportion and don't think that a bottle of sauce should be threatening my place at uni. It means I can't really drink while I'm here because I might do something that I think isn't a big deal and get kicked out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 14,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 27
}
|
WRONG
|
ATFntysQt0rqpFIIAspqKGe3mRMOUFFv
|
au51ks
|
{
"description": "wanting $450 worth of stuff back after my mother takes it as a \"punishment?\"",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting $450 worth of stuff back after my mother takes it as a "punishment?"
|
Hi, Reddit. This morning (before work) my sister was missing her phone apparently. I left the house and went to work. When I get home, many of my valuable possessions were missing from my room. (Total value about $450 worth, which I paid for) I called my mother, who said "I don't know, look in the bookshelf." I thought that was a strange response, but ok. I looked everywhere for them, and only found my guitar stand in the garage. I thought it was some dumb prank and forgot about it. Luckily my laptop was still there, so I browsed Reddit (hi) until they returned. When they did, I asked where they were. My mother got furious. "You don't get to ask for that after what you did! We will talk about this later!" That sort of thing. I was confused, and taken aback. We got in the car. I asked why she reacted that way. She explained that they had found my sister's phone in my bookshelf after I left for work. I didn't know how this happened (I didn't do it, Reddit) and asked how the two were related. She said she knew I did it and that I wouldn't get my stuff back until I confessed. I got defensive, because I needed that stuff for school, projects etc. Also, I owned them. I explained how I couldn't have done it, and I knew that my sister was trying to frame me. She wasn't buying it. My sister also chimed in saying "we know you did it, just say it." They called me a liar, and said how disappointed in me they were. Am I the asshole for wanting my stuff back and defending myself when accused of something I didn't do and couldn't have done?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CuxeEzbyVQ5yvEBaAQ5gC91YjrEOhaWw
|
auwr3i
|
{
"description": "getting into a massive anti-vax argument",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting into a massive anti-vax argument
|
Background: I am 16 (pro-vax) and my grandma is 56 (anti-vax). My first mistake was adding her on Facebook and I’m sure I made others. Simply put, it started when she posted an article about the recent measles outbreak in Portland and how it was mostly kids who were already vaccinated. This immediately sounded like bs to me so I checked the article and it’s sources said just the opposite. So I commented that the posted article was misinformed and that it’s good to stay up to date of real information. This developed into a small argument in the comments. She later then sent me a huge text explaining how I was wrong and that it was disrespectful to challenge what she says. I told her that I disagreed and that I could be persuaded by some scientific evidence that was properly peer reviewed. She then sent me source after source and I would fact check them and read multiple peer reviews on them. Not a single source she sent me was factually correct. The argument heated to a boiling point when she eventually said this “Did I say creepy. Oh yes. I already pointed that out. Please do not contact me again. I’m done with you.” I was a bit hurt and it kinda took me off guard that she would just cut me off like that because she is normally very kind and loving. I normally would not have gotten into a huge argument but she is a huge proponent in the reason my niece isn’t vaccinated even when we live in a state with measles outbreaks. My concern is mainly for her safety and I genuinely would change my opinion given the evidence, but I believe strongly in the scientific process. AITA for the situation escalating the way it did.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
9uQrgnfJdBrKBFP7XX86iNOGVnFtNZ1Q
|
ayog7z
|
{
"description": "thinking it was a joke",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I thought it was a joke,
|
People involved:
Friend 1- F1
Friend 2 - F2
Friend 3 - F3
Subject - S
Sister-(not mine)- SS
Me
\------------
Ok so earlier today S got a jumper from her friend that was merch of a boy-band. She was all excited and giddy as you'd probably expect. I told F1 and F2 (which were mutual friends between S and I) that it seemed like she going to have a heart attack, which they laughed at.
Before she got it we went and talked to SS and she said "Why are getting so excited by a jumper?" I made a similar point before we approached SS.
Later when were on the bus I was telling F3 about how excited S was about a jumper. Then SS (who was sitting a little to the left of us) says "can you stop that's my little sister you're talking about." I kind of just sat there thinking about what she said.
But what i don't get is she said (in a joking manner) "why are you getting so excited by a jumper", then i go make a joke about how she was excited and she gets really defensive, am i not allowed to make fun of a friend but her sister is. I'm not it was right of me to make fun of her it just seems like SS is the only one who can.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GH4WjvuQ9TvefQZuJ5CfG3B4xu34B1dw
|
a5g993
|
{
"description": "wanting my flatmate or his gf to do their f*cking dishes",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my flatmate or his gf to do their f*cking dishes?
|
We have a rule in the flat; everyone does their dishes but when they do them do the nigly things like cutlery that builds up. Sometimes dishes don't always get done straight away so there is a 48 hr deadline to them. It's fair but it's always been a bit of a struggle to get the third flatmate to do his dishes.
Then he got a gf. She's loud, kind of annoying and smelly. Not nice smelly. She has basically moved in. There is an agreement on the lease that if someone is a relationship, that person can't stay the night more than 3 nights a week unless obviously communicated. It's reasonable. But she's basically moved in. She hangs round our house like a bad smell some days, like alone. It's fucking wierd. And guess what, she can't even be bothered to clean up ater the both of them.
I've repeatedly had to ask them before they leave the house to do their dishes. The dishes are there for more than 48 hours. I asked them to do the dishes before I got back from the supermarket, still not done. She started doing them when I got in the shower after training so my shower was running cold. I got out and asked her to do them once I was done in the shower, it may seem petty but it's about boundaries for fucks sake. I'm an angry person by nature and I have been trying really hard not to blow up at them. I'm going to put the dirty dishes in his room next time he leaves the house so he gets the message. He'll be lucky if I don't put them in his fucking bed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tyWOKxsnnqJdtV6l2fMJFJcdtu39vxBi
|
b2rpee
|
{
"description": "reporting the person who outed me publicly on their snapchat",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I report the person who outed me publicly on their snapchat?
|
(TLDR at the bottom) I’m a bisexual male. I recently came out to my parents about 5 weeks ago and they took it perfectly. Yesterday I went on my first date with a guy, and I didn’t really tell anyone except two close friends. Today someone I know walked up to me asking if I was gay, I said I was bi. I assumed one of my friends told them. I asked both of them and they said no. I just finished my tennis match and I open up my phone with a text of friend one saying I think I know who said, with a screenshot of this https://imgur.com/gallery/Kr9aPYa along with around 11 more about me being “gay”. This person that outed me on their story was someone I used to “talk” to in 7th grade. From then to rn(my freshman year) she continuously tries to ask me to hangout. I always denied it because she was toxic. She goes to a 40k+ a year private highschool, and I go to a pretty “sketchy” highschool(weed , fights, xans etc). So obviously snitching is taken pretty badly. I want to know if I should report it to her highschool, and how should I do it. Today I cried to my mom for the first time in 5+ years, because now I’m not known as smart sam, or cool sam, or tennis player sam. I’ll be known as gay sam. I don’t want people to just see my sexuality, and that’s why I didn’t come out. So should I report it and how do you think it will be taken?
TLDR: I was outed on someone’s story in a very negative context, should I report it but will I be a snitch?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UBR3Rmg4bIu23I1yfz0uktBhLrL67fh0
|
b5r4uf
|
{
"description": "drinking in front of sober people",
"pronormative_score": 81,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for drinking in front of sober people?
|
Recently I was at an airbnb with my boyfriend, and he invited his friend over to help him on a work project we were in town for. It was a small space so we were all sitting together, and I had no where else to hang out so I was just on my phone not contributing to the conversation since it was work related. My boyfriend has never had a drink in his life (parents were alcoholics so he never touched it, but is ok with me drinking around him). I didn't know his friend, so I offered her a glass of wine since I knew we'd be there for a while and I was getting kinda bored. She replied with a very quick "I'm sober." I guess she had recently quit drinking, since I had heard her earlier telling drinking stories. I then asked, "Would I be an asshole if I had a glass of wine?" already on my way to the kitchen. My boyfriend politely said "of course not", and she basically cut him off with "Yes."
I sat back down and ended up not having a drink feeling guilty for even suggesting it, but I was pretty point blank told I would have been an asshole if I did. I'd especially like to know from the non-drinkers of reddit, is it assholeish to drink in front of you?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 60,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 21,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 81,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
6EEwdeTknVCvxw8pFpBpy7mHaakkgLlI
|
9z8diw
|
{
"description": "being a bit creeped out by what some girls did to me on a school trip",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being a bit creeped out by what some girls did to me on a school trip?
|
I am the only white guy (only white person as well) in my class. I have somewhat played on this to avoid being bullied. The fact that my Dad is a cop has also helped. On a school trip recently we were assigned seats on the bus alphabetically. I was sat next to a black girl (at the back of the bus) and her friends. I fell asleep and while I slept one black girl put her hoodie over me to keep me warm which was quite nice but others (girls I should add) mimed doing sex acts on me and posted pictures of this to social media with hashtags #Blacked or #Blacked. In reference to a porn site. I feel a bit creeped out about this. I am quite glad it was girls doing it as it looks less weak and not gay. The boys are friendly with me but they maintain respectful distance because of the untrue (but not going to tell them that) rumour that my dad beat a black guy and gave them brain damage. But the girls push themselves on me a bit except for the hoodie girl who is nice. Should I just let the hooplah die down or do anything more?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Jk6OojcOj1jrViuzUImm3OSzigikKFgg
|
ai88ah
|
{
"description": "never believing people who say they were sexually assaulted",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for never believing people who say they were sexually assaulted?
|
It's just a habit that I didn't really realize. Everytime someone says they were sexually assaulted, I'm immediately just straight into finding reasons they're lying. It doesn't even have to be a celebrity. I've been arguing with people on Whisper and people on Facebook just to tell them cracks in their story. I didn't realize it was a problem till my boyfriend pointed it out. It mainly started when I started trying so hard to be conservative and follow the leader. I'm just kinda off with it. I don't know if its to the point where I'm an asshole or just making a bad decision.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
D7OxR6UR34be69126URsidyylyAIdQ29
|
b4kvkj
|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my girlfriend tells me she finds other guys attractive",
"pronormative_score": 49,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA asshole for being annoyed that my girlfriend tells me she finds other guys attractive
|
Early in our relationship she made comments like “wow, he’s good looking/attractive” when she saw a random guy she found attractive on the street in front of me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to find other people attractive, but if I’m honest, it feels disrespectful to say it to me/in front of me? I find other women attractive, but I don’t advertise it to her. What good does that do? I told her I didn’t like that she would just blurt that out in front of me and she agreed not to do it again, but we agreed it’s normal to think others are attractive. Fast forward about 2 months and she continues making similar comments while we were having dinner at a restaurant. I got annoyed with her and didn’t say much after because I don’t feel like saying anything when I get upset. She asked me what the problem was and I told her it annoys me when she does this. She got defensive and said she was joking, and when I asked her if she forgot that she agreed not to do that or if she just didn’t care about it she said I was overreacting and that she was making a joke. I really don’t understand how that’s a joke though? I have trouble trusting her because of this to be honest.
I get that I’m being insecure, I accept that, and I should work on that. But was I an asshole here? Have you had a similar situation in your relationship? What do you think? Should partners just tell each other they are attracted to random strangers on the street? Am I being unreasonable for thinking she might cheat on me because of this? (I didn’t say that to her btw)
Edit: fucked up the title, please forgive.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 39,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 49,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
AC1q73tNksRiQRBlhkNTVpsLP5bxpi0f
|
aw08o0
|
{
"description": "telling my husband to stop buying his dead wife the same presents he buys me",
"pronormative_score": 88,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my husband to stop buying his dead wife the same presents he buys me?
|
This is actually a really weird situation I'm currently in. My husband and his wife had an amazing relationship.
They had an accident which killed his wife, but my husband survived. This happened years ago. I understand that it was a very traumatic experience for him.
We've been married for 7 years and we have a 5 yo daughte together. We have an amazing relationship. He has this habit of buying me expensive presents. An year after being with him, I discovered that his wife and I shared the same name. I asked him about it and he told me that it was not one if the reasons he was attracted to me.
After we moved in together, he converted our backyard store room into her memorial. It has her pictures and ither stuff belonging to her. And everything he buys for me, he buys for her. Literally everything. He got me new ring fir Valentine's day. It looked amazing. And guess who else he bought that for?
Even my daughter is asking me who that lady in our backyard is. I don't how she knows, but children are very smart and she keeps pestering me about it.
I just cant help feeling that I'm just a replacement. If she were alive, I'd never be here. I just feel like her doppleganger.
And we git into a big fight about this. I told him that this cannot continue and I feel really insecure. But he refuses to understand. He told me that he loves me and I'm to woman he chose to be with and I should never feel insecure about someone who passed away.
I just cannot understand his argument. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 61,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 27,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 88,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
hPPNOrbC4hstuzNbzCE63QoXY2t3Duqk
|
a3uiwf
|
{
"description": "breaking it off with a guy because of his phone",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
WIBTA for breaking it off with a guy because of his phone?
|
I've recently thrown myself into the dating world and I'm really enjoying meeting a variety of different people.
I've been seeing someone fairly regularly for about a month and he's a really cool guy! We have a lot of the same interests and he always has fun date ideas. I like him as a person and I want to remain in touch with him but his phone is driving me fucking crazy.
What really bothers me is how his phone will send me the same text message about 4-5 times. Having a text conversation with him is nearly impossible and incredibly frustrating. I'm really busy during the day so having him send one text (which ends up being 4 of the same ones) is really distracting.
A week ago I told him I don't really want him to text me anymore until he either figures out what's wrong with his phone or gets a different one. But he sends me good morning texts every day and- as a sweet as they are, it's annoying as hell and I'm kinda bitter about the whole thing.
So, reddit, WIBTA for ending things with this really sweet guy because of his stupid phone?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
Y74h8Vwrp222VQTK4MjJ9C2fnybBJqSa
|
a5752j
|
{
"description": "not calling my mom when she's giving me the silent treatment",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not calling my mom when she’s giving me the silent treatment?
|
My husband and I eloped in 2017 as we were moving across the country and I needed health insurance. We were getting married later that year anyway, so we figured it wouldn’t be a huge problem.
Then, his mother suddenly (and horrifically) died. My husband could no longer stomach our plans since his mother was supposed to be there. We cancelled them. He hasn’t been in a good place mentally since. I realized a wedding reception wasn’t going to happen, and I’m okay with it. I’m 30, I don’t care. I didn’t want a wedding anyway.
My parents absolutely love him and cried when he called to let them know he was proposing. I joke they’d trade him for me, but I do know it’s semi-true.
I decided we should just tell them we eloped and get it over with, especially since my mother has been getting particularly cruel lately. Our relationship has always been strained, and she loved to call and tell me that my husband clearly didn’t want to marry me anymore and he was going to dump me and take all our resources at any moment. She doesn’t understand why it was hard for my husband to watch his mother die. Her only words of comfort to me were, “Are you going to cry this much when I die? I hope you’ll cry more.”
Anyway, we told my parents during Thanksgiving. My dad was PUMPED. He hates weddings and spent a lot of money on my brother and sister. My mom was very polite and upbeat, but I knew it was a sham. She has not spoken to me since. My husband sent her a handwritten letter apologizing (again) for the secrecy, and acknowledging that she was allowed to feel hurt, and we wanted to hear those feelings.
When she’s mad at one of her three children, she takes it out on the rest. She won’t talk to my siblings either. She would do this stuff when I was a child, and my dad would force me to apologize over and over, even if I didn’t do anything wrong. He said it didn’t matter, but we had to appeal to her ego for family harmony to be restored.
I’m tired. I’ve called almost daily to make her feel special. She won’t call me back. I think I’m done calling. My sister thinks I should keep calling her daily, like has been. I’m sure eventually she’ll decide to stop “punishing” me, but I don’t really feel like enabling her manipulative actions anymore. She’s allowed to be pissed, but I’d rather she talk about it with me so we can move past it. The silent treatment is tiring after all these years.
AITA for waiting for her to call me after weeks of unreturned calls? Common phone etiquette says the ball is in her court, but I’m probably an asshole for eloping in the first place. (My life-saving meds would have been several thousand dollars without it though.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VIkG0MwuHItnPhgiVNh3ZUm0O0huq90c
|
b8ogxn
|
{
"description": "potentially crossing the line with an april fools joke",
"pronormative_score": 81,
"contranormative_score": 30
}
|
AITA for potentially crossing the line with an april fools joke?
|
Wife is almost 39 weeks pregnant and ready to pop any day now. Last night, my father texts me and asks how the wife is doing.
I respond with "She's doing okay, the first night home with the baby was brutal." Implying that the baby was born and home and we didn't tell anyone.
I waited 3 minutes before I responded saying "jkjk April Fools". Apparently the 3 minutes was enough for him to notify the entire side of the family and got everyone excited and unbelievably pissed that I told nobody and invited nobody to the hospital.
He just responded "Dude...you fucking kidding me?" and now wont talk to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 76,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 81,
"WRONG": 30
}
|
RIGHT
|
dkIElNa81UyksQDZEhzz0pnPfRW8eckE
|
9v5up9
|
{
"description": "hanging out with my sister and her friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hanging out with my sister and her friends?
|
My sister had this huge group of like 12 friends over (some even my friends too) and she expects me to just sit in my room for like 4 hours. Obviously I wont, and while I was leaving to go to the bathroom, she locked me out of the room we were watching a movie in. When I unlocked the door, she yelled at me about how embarrassing I was. I had done nothing at all this entire time, just watched the movie in silence. AMITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
f4isfGYi11VcoE1I91MnHcTuGSXZfHaD
|
b3gnx8
|
{
"description": "having my dong posted on Insta w/o permission",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for having my dong posted on Insta w/o permission?
|
Let’s take it back six years to 2013. It’s the day of my college graduation. Since the ceremony begins fairly early, my eight fraternity brothers (I know) and I decide to get up even earlier to get properly tanked. After a couple hours of drinking, we get together to pose for group photos in our grad caps.
During the last photo, I decided to it would be hilarious to surreptitiously hang my flaccid wang over the waistband of my shorts--the idea being that no one would notice my exposed Johnson until after the picture came out and we’d all have a laugh. It worked, and we did (though one of my friends was annoyed that I ruined the photo.)
I didn’t think much of it until later that morning when I realize one of my friends has posted the photo on Instagram! Naturally, I freaked out and made him delete it immediately—but at this point had already been up for an hour or two and garnered it’s fair of likes and “haha omg” comments. Needless to say, I was pretty fucking pissed at the time and to be honest, it still irks me a bit to this day. But when I confronted him about it, he basically said if you didn’t want this on social media you shouldn’t have done it.
So look, I know how incredibly immature this was to do in the first place. And I know, that real lesson here is to keep your dong in your pants at all times. That said, this was a photo was taken in the company of solely my closest male friends—not intended to be shared with the world. So did I have this coming? Or was my friend being a major dick?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
rMk3RxmhppJhwva5nmRBLR8y8NASdQsT
|
b772p3
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pluck my girlfriends armpit hair",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pluck my girlfriends armpit hair?
|
My girlfriend and I were in bed and she wanted me to help pluck her armpit hair. Personally I don’t like plucking things and I’ve told her that I did not want to multiple times. This later turned to me being selfish. ALL BECAUSE OF ARMPIT HAIR. Am I wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rFz2jks3jfYUwaisuhHyVLUeLEfqPeg7
|
ajthkn
|
{
"description": "scolding my gf for almost poking me in the eye with a stick",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for scolding my GF for almost poking me in the eye with a stick
|
I was sitting in my computer chair, talking to my GF who was standing next to me. At one point I turned myself toward her both with my chair and head, and she was holding a wooden BBQ skewer (very thin, wooden stick with a pointed end) directly next to my face, so that when I turn, my upper cheek bone turns into the point of the stick, poking me literally about half an inch under my right eye, above my cheek bone.
Now, I didn't "blow up" externally, but I did get pretty damn angry internally, and expressed it to my girlfriend in a way I'll try to get across as follow, as best and honestly as I can describe;
I don't feel I was like "vitrolic" or anything in my tone, but I would describe it best as a tone of definite incredulity, I said something along the lines of: "*What* the hell? *Why* would you do that?!? Are you serious? You *don't* put pointy objects near eyes... wth?" Now, I remember it will enough to remember myself purposely trying to add in at least a little bit of softer tone, like sadness that she had so little regard/respect for me, and not just pure anger.
She immediately responds by getting angry herself, with seemingly no sign of remorse or genuine apology. Best I can remember and describe is her own angry, incredulous, "*Jeeeeezzz goddddd (very fake and ingenuine:) What's your problem."
At this, I reacted further by just being in disbelief she could show absolutely no apologetic response, and just immediately turn around to make me the bad guy in this, so I got even angrier and more hurt. I pretty much continued saying more of the same, with the theme of "*How* do you not know the utterly common sense and safety rule of 'don't put pointy objects near eyeballs"?
She then starts expressing that she's so angry at me and I'm the asshole for "talking to her like a child".
Now, when I first reacted, I wasn't consciously thinking that at all, but as soon as she said that my initial thought was... "Uhhh well YEAH, maybe I *was*, because this is like a ridiculously basic, and I feel, fundamental early learning *child's* lesson in safety and common sense". Pointy objects near eyes... NO. BAD.
So at this point I'm much more angry that she immediately turned it around on me, tried to make me the asshole and showed NO remorse at all, more than I was about the actual act. During all this, she gives a few of what I feel are not just half-hearted apologies, but in fact 100% non-apology... like an "eye-roll" apology. Think your best impression of a sarcastic, not-sorry-at-all "well soooorrrryyyyy" (with, I feel, the attitude of "sorry you're so sensitive about this. Sorry you're such an asshole, etc. Least genuine sorry you can imagine).
Anyway, we basically did the classic unhealthy silent treatment fight for the rest of the night. I was purposely cold and didn't want to speak to her because of how angry I was (again, at the reaction more than the initial act). We ended up going to bed angry at each other, both refusing to talk.
Next day, and I'm still very mad she hasn't apologized, so I passive-aggresively just leave silently, keeping up the silent-treatment fight we've got going. That day I come home for lunch and she's there, and I'm still being very cold and short, one word "hey" kinda shit...
She confronts me in seemingly diplomatic, almost sad tone of "What's wrong, are you still mad at me" with the kind of puppy dog effect of clearly trying to get sympathy.
So, I did my best to express honestly how I was feeling, and I really believe I wasn't nasty or hostile about it at all. I told her I felt like she completely disregarded my feelings, and I felt like she wasn't sorry at all. And that she *always* does this, with any fight we have, where IMO she refuses to *ever* admit any fault of her own, and always turns me into the asshole for even daring to be angry at her about anything ever. She then says, with more incredulity and attitude "I *said* I was sorry!" with a "what more do you want" kind of attitude. She also repeats how she feels I spoke to her like a child and I was totally the asshole for that. This just brought us back to square 1 because, to me, she was doing the exact same thing still. Pure attitude of non-apology and just disregard for my feelings. I was genuinely feeling she didn't care about me at all. I expressed this, and she proceeds to get teary and *further* guilt me with "How could you think something like that, that I don't care about you???!", and then starts crying.
I then gave up and hugged her, and ended up apologizing to *her*, and life went on after that with some more good times and some more bad. But anyway, we're not together anymore so nobody needs to include any thoughts on the health or future of our relationship, I just felt like seeing what this sub would have to say about this particular fight.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
W4Oe2aYnuBYmeRcfq4Fo4P4EKZkf6G2m
|
a1hx5o
|
{
"description": "smoking weed before work to keep me productive and in good mood",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for smoking weed before work to keep me productive and in good mood?
|
I don't drive / operate heavy machinery at my work since I work in service desk. For me weed makes it so much more enjoyable to converse with the clients and help them out with their computer-related problems. It completely kills my anxiety and frustration with slow tech and users who require a special amount of patience to deal with.
The law here says that I'm criminal scum but I don't give a damn as long as nobody's getting hurt.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
xqvvmcVOz41k3XCPvdG6TpRD3aBFbJxp
|
a7zxk0
|
{
"description": "being to report my suitemates",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA if I were to report my suitemates?
|
So I just moved into a new dorm at my college, and he way the suites are arranged is one bathroom with a couple dorm rooms attached to it. When I first walked into the suite, it reeked of weed. I mean, it smelled like someone was smoking at that moment. I was glad to find that my room isn’t the one that smells, but it’s coming from the people who live next to me.
I don’t have a problem with people smoking weed, but my school has strict policy if you’re caught, and only one offense will get you banned from university housing. Just a couple of days ago, two guys that lived down the hall got arrested for possession, and yet my neighbors still smoking pretty often. It makes me nervous because even though I don’t have anything illegal in my room, I don’t know if my roommate does and I don’t want the risk of getting in legal trouble. I’m just overall nervous and would rather not be in this type of situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
p9KH07n3sZlxz8EQXvK5ZdRvHS7URfFo
|
a3vc4z
|
{
"description": "laughing when my 6year old nephew called two nurses fat",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for laughing when my 6year old nephew called two nurses fat?
|
Okay, before I get dragged. Here is the story. I am 16 yrs old, My brother is married to a doctor. I went to pick up my niece and nephew from the hospital. They had some sort of holiday coworker family day. So my SIL had them briefly and asked me to pick them up. Whatever, I said okay. Anyway, while waiting at one of the hospital’s nursing station, my niece said she gave her phone to a ‘nurse’ to charge. I ask her who she gave it to. The manager asks my niece and nephew to describe the nurse. Nephew says she is very fat and chubby. He then points to the lady sitting on the computer and says ‘she is fat like her but smaller’
At this point, I am trying to apologize. Then the actual nurse with phone appears. The nurse who was sitting down says “the kids just called us fat” I apologize again. So I am trying to drag the kids out before things go out of control. But for some reason I couldn’t control my face, so I had my hand on my face.
I got to the elevator and lost it, started laughing uncontrollably. Thought I was safe to laugh but My nephew pressed a key that opened the elevator while I was still laughing. I look up and both obese nurses are looking at me angrily. I am saying am sorry while trying to not laugh. Then we left.
My SIL later called me could not believe what had just happened. She said the second nurse was very offended. Not by my nephew’s remarks but by my laughing. Now she wants to go back and apologize in person. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
antmi8
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on summer vacation with my parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on summer vacation with my parents?
|
This post is similar to another one that was made in this sub. I have a bit of a different situation. TLDR at the bottom.
I'm 20 and living at home while I'm doing my undergrad degree. For the past ever my family have gone on vacation every summer without fail. For the past couple of years, they decided that on top of doing summer vacations, that winter vacations should be taken every year as well.
Now, I love my family. They get on my nerves sometimes (as family does), but they are kind people. I also really appreciate everything they have done for me and I feel very lucky and fortunate that I come from a family that can afford to pay my (and my siblings') tuition and take vacations once or twice a year with the whole family. However, if I need to take one more family vacation with them during the short amount of free time I have between the fall and winter semester to relax (about 2 weeks) or between summer courses and the new school year (also about 2 weeks), I might just jump off of the CN Tower.
Here's what happens during every vacation. We go somewhere disgustingly hot (winter or summer), probably a beach. We don't go anywhere else because everyone but me loves the 35+ degree weather for some inconceivable reason. We used to get a hotel, now we AirBnB. I always have to share a room with all of my siblings (brother aged 17 and sister aged 13) or my sister. Everyone (not just me) is agitated because we do not like being this close together for so long. Everyone os already tense from a long flight or car ride. I have probably not had a cigarette for 15+ hours, especially irritable.
We usually have to go out to eat lunch and dinner. I hate eating in front of people, especially my mother (recovering from an eating disorder) and since we are Jewish we need to eat relatively kosher (meaning up until a few months ago we couldn't eat meat at any restaurants, I would always have to eat salmon bc it isn't considered as meat in Judaism, and we still can't eat a majority of menu items because meat and dairy are mixed or there is pork or shellfish). I always feel bloated and gross after and I can't smoke after I eat. Feel like shit for the rest of the day.
If on the beach, we go to the beach every day. I'm super insecure about my body and therefore despise bathing suits. The sand, as the kids say, "it's course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere". The seawater burns my eyes even when closed and messes up my hair. I burn easily and hate the feeling of sunscreen. I hate, hate, hate the heat with a passion. Basically, I hate every single thing about the beach. I usually choose to stay back wherever we are staying and deal with being called a party pooper. I don't mind, because I'm the one who'll have the air conditioning.
Talks about how my general attitude about vacations is putting a damper on everyone's mood are frequent. We usually walk for hours on the heat, causing a lot of sweat. I want to actually be able to relax on my time off of school but here we are, leaving the house by 8 am to go on a boat (???).
All I want on my time off of school is to be able to relax a little bit without needing to be anxious about school. I don't need much, just more sleep and some more time with my friends and enough time to prepare everything for the next semester. I did tell most of this stuff to my parents (barring the eating disorder stuff, I'm not even going to try) and by the luck of the draw they actually let me stay back last winter vacation. It was probably the best week and a half I've had since starting high school. It left me super refreshed and ready to start the next semester head on.
I've basically been feeling like this since I was maybe 14. This summer, they want to go to New Jersey and then New York. I know for a fact that half of it will be at the beach. My mom asked me if I wanted to go with them this year. I told her I would think about it. I know they only want us to spend time together as a family, but I think we can do that in another way that doesn't involve leaving the country. Vacations just make me so uncomfortable when they are supposed to be enjoyable. I don't think my parents are being assholes at all by the way, but I just want to know if I'm being one.
TLDR: Vacations make me feel very insecure, irritable, exhausted, and like I have zero personal space. While I'm grateful for my family, I just want my own space to relax and unwind after the semester is over.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b01wgw
|
{
"description": "not liking the food a girl cooked for me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not liking the food a girl cooked for me?
|
This girl I've been seeing for a few weeks said that she would make dinner for me tonight at her place, and I'm not really into her because she's not my type physically but I thought hey why not get some free food I'm a broke college student.
Anyway she makes chicken parmesan which I don't really care for but she made it with what felt like an insane amount of cheese (I HATE cheese unless it's on a pizza). I tried but I couldn't eat much and she noticed because I was just playing with my food and she asks me "do you not like it?" and I don't want to make her feel bad so I lied and told her that I got some bad news before going to her place and wasn't feeling good and walked home.
I wasn't feeling to bad about it because at least I didn't hurt her feelings but when I told my friends they're all saying what I did was fucked up and wrong etc.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
TiaEqurQER4bPMw23tLMHjRJbZG3D4sR
|
b6kbn0
|
{
"description": "being upset with how my boyfriend communicated with me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for being upset with how my boyfriend communicated with me?
|
Recently, I’ve become religious and wanted to change a few things about our relationship (raising future kids Catholic, not having sex until marriage etc)
We compromised on some things (finding different forms of intimacy, not teaching the kids that being gay is wrong, not having a litter of kids). So I think everything’s fine. A few days later, he’s accusing me of pushing my religion on him. I try to explain that he doesn’t have to be religious I just want him to support me in it. But now he’s upset about the kids being raised Catholic. I forget how we get off that topic, but I say that I stopped taking my psych meds because I think they’re “government mind control pills”. Admittedly, not the best choice of words, but I was trying to be honest with my feelings. He calls me a conspiracy theorist, breaks up with me, but asks if I’ll wait for him. I say I’d wait at least a year. Doesn’t like that answer. Two days later, he apologizes and says it was just because of stress that he reacted that way. I took him back but I’m still upset that instead of talking to me, he broke up with me. AITA for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
P6WVxWi3ECypZNo8blTurkszMmUEmSmb
|
azqvjb
|
{
"description": "telling my friend's girlfriend to break up with him",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend's girlfriend to break up with him?
|
I'm friends with this guy (let's call him E) who had been dating another friend of mine (let's call her M) on-and-off for a while. They had "taken breaks" a few times before because E was being too flirty with other girls (E had been in numerous month-long relationships in the past year). One day, M comes to me asking for relationship advice. She finds E attractive but doesn't want to get back together with him if he's just going to flirt with other girls. I told her that if she keeps coming back to him, he'll think that it's okay for him to be flirting with other girls. She had already asked him to stop multiple times, so I told her to just drop it and move on. My brother thinks I was being a bad friend to E. I thought I was giving good advice to M. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
qry7TZmOWWLnElksGNwjTd5jrq5zhmst
|
9yi1me
|
{
"description": "telling my neighbor I will not be using her wi-fi anymore",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for telling my neighbor I will not be using her wi-fi anymore?
|
So I have a neighbor whose wi-fi I use and give her like 10 bucks a month. We have always been friendly. The other morning I was going to the store and asked her if she needed anything. At the beginning of this month I forgot to give her 10 bucks, I forget sometimes and she never made a big deal out of it. So she tells me to pick her up eggs and milk at the store. I did so, and knocked on her door 3 times that day to give her the milk and eggs. Apparently she worked a double shift so she wasn't home all day and evening. No biggie. Around 10 PM I got a hankering for some hard boiled eggs, so I boiled 5 eggs and had a tall glass of milk, HER eggs and milk. I didn't expect her to knock on my door after 10, so I thought it was no big deal at all, I would run to the store in the morning and grab a fresh gallon of milk and eggs for her. Well, she knocked on my door at 10:30 PM, and I gave her the milk and eggs I got into because I thought she needed them. She was livid that I gave her eggs with 5 missing and the opened gallon of milk, and walked away from my door saying some pretty nasty things. I have never heard her talk that way before, and after thinking about it, I went over to her apartment and gave her back the wi-fi extender she gave me for her wi-fi. She was pissed and called me an ass. AITA for getting into the milk and eggs?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
fuktyKoRhg57xbVITi2GYQsI5nxOUsAQ
|
b5imnv
|
{
"description": "getting my girlfriend an expensive present for her birthday instead of a card",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for getting my girlfriend an expensive present for her birthday instead of a card?
|
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. I love her and I’m very proud of her (she’s had a tough time at work recently) so I wanted to surprise her with a really awesome gift for her birthday.
Her birthday was last week. In the months and weeks running up to it, when I’d ask her what she’d want for a gift, she kept telling me she only wanted a card. Like, one of those custom made ones, for example. When I’d reply and tell her that she’s got to want more than just a card, she’d firmly state that was all she wanted. She said that cards were more sentimental to her and that they had long-time value unlike presents.
The thing is, I really don’t see the point in cards. I get why she would like a custom made one, but we have tons of framed pictures of us together. I’d just be recycling photos we already have on display. I’ve never got her a card before and she’s never complained or brought it up.
I ended up buying her a new laptop as hers has been faulty for a while. I was super stoked about the present and thought she would be, too. On her birthday, when she found a wrapped present, she was immediately pissed. When she opened it, she was even more angry. Told me that it wasn’t my responsibility to fix her electronics and that she is perfectly capable of deciding when her laptop should be replaced. She asked if I had got her a card and I said no. I told her that I had spent enough money on the laptop and I didn’t see the point in spending another £7+ on a custom made card. She hasn’t spoken to me since.
She’s been staying with some friends who all live in a shared house and I cannot understand why this is such a big deal. I admit I could have handled it better, but the way she reacted to (what was supposed to be!) a thoughtful gift has me pretty shaken up. I didn’t realise a card would be so important to her.
So, AITA? I get that I should have got her a card... but not speaking to me for days.. surely that’s a bit extreme?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
YyupPcoevmfBSRFmKiFtmEdX87H0ykte
|
b0a7n3
|
{
"description": "not trusting my friends on Discord and questioning my friendship with them",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not trusting my friends on Discord and questioning my friendship with them?
|
A few days ago I decided to reset my discord profile pic to the default icon, set my setting to offline, stopped talking in all of my servers except the one without any of my friends on it, and change my username to a bunch of random symbols because I was just emotionally done with everything. I don't know why or how it got to this point but I just felt emotionally done with these people which doesn't make sense. I care about my friends that I met deeply, but sometimes it gets too much and I hate it. I have a few ideas on why I'm upset but I need sometime to think, so buckle the fuckle up for a long and possibly confusing story.
So about a year ago, I was one of the first members of a discord server dedicated to a really small fandom with people I knew from tumblr and a few from another discord server. Over the months I noticed that more people were being promoted to modship while I was fine with it hoping that I would be next since I was very active and others weren't. This never came. I was also heavily involved in other servers were the same people resided but I had a feeling that there was more, it turns out that they were keeping whole servers hidden and doing everything right under my nose, I don't understand, but I started to try and fix it.
At the start of the year I was more aware and decided to stop waiting since that was getting nowhere in their social hierarchy. I would ask to join group calls and discussions but they still left me out of a lot. I think the last straw was a month ago when I asked to join a server and one of them said I couldn't and provided no explanation despite seeing her as a nice person. A few other small instances and I just got tired of it, tired of being excluded, tired of not being treated as an equal despite everything I've done, so I left.
Today I checked back in and spoke to one of my closest friends about being in a one sided friendship, he told me to either confront the person or if it is emotionally bothering me to break it off altogether, which I still need to think about. The possibility of losing these people still upsets me because I've talked to them about everyday for a year, and I don't hate these people, I love and care for them but I just don't feel like I'm getting anything back. Also, I checked back today and nobody even was concerned over me or wondered what I did, while if it was with another person higher up in the social hierarchy, they would be concerned immediately, this makes me feel like leaving since if they didn't notice me in the first place and they wouldn't notice me if I was gone.
The reason I'm posting this here is because I still feel like its my fault somehow, and please tell me if it is, I feel like an attention whore who just wants to be noticed, or someone who is using jealousy to get what I want but I don't want modship even, I just want to be treated as a friend, am I the asshole here or not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
hVBiu79O0OBEokRcxRO8MLtnIOd8X24c
|
b863qm
|
{
"description": "putting the PS4 I share with my brother in storage while he's addicted to drugs",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for putting the PS4 I share with my brother in storage while he’s addicted to drugs?
|
This last Friday I was playing Sekiro on the PS4 and my brother came into the den and started searching through all our games. I looked over and he was price checking each one on the GameStop trade-in website.
Huge red flag because my brother has been going through a really bad drug habit, off and on for the past few years. He’s supposed to be off drugs now as a condition for living in my apartment.
When I asked him what he was doing, he told me he wanted to see which games he could sell because he only plays free games like Apex, Fortnight, and Warframe. Then he asked me if we could sell the PS4 and split money 50/50 because “it’s just wasting our lives anyways.”
So the next day, while my brother was with his gf’s house, I packed up the PS4, the TV, and all the games and took them down to my storage locker. These are the only real valuables in my apartment, unless you count kitchen appliances.
When my brother gets back he notices that the dens been cleared out and starts yelling at me about how I have no right to take his stuff. He did buy a couple of the CoD games, but the rest of the stuff I bought before he moved out of our parents house.
I told them I pawned the stuff and I’d get it back later, which he responded to by demanding the money I got or that I go unpawn his games. Then he stormed out and I haven’t seen him since Saturday night.
AITA? Should I try to find him and apologize? He has blocked my number after Saturday.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
9xoie8
| null |
AITA My Friend Ended our Friendship Because I Canceled my Gym Subscription Last Night
|
Hi, just to give a bit of a background I was born and raised in a hot climate and I have never seen or been around snow until last year when I moved to Erie, PA. (Really cold place during winter to those who dont know)
I am 23, she is 10 years older than me.
The reason why I ended my gym subscription is because last year Erie had about 5 feet of snow, and in the news it was expected that we might have similar weather to last year's. So, as someone who really hates snow and cold weather and not used to it at all, I decided that it might be best to cancel it. Not only that, often times when it's really cold outside and I leave the gym sweating I get sick the next morning, i would have a running nose and my body starts to heat up. And I do have weights at home, so I can workout home during the winter and join the gym again once the weather gets better. Those were my reasons.
I told this to my friend who I have known for over 3 years now, as we were casually chatting. She responded to that by saying "lmao, are you serious? The world doesn't stop because its cold, they work around it. Not going to the gym because it's cold seems just as an excuse to not go. It is an immature way of handling it. It says alot about your work ethic when you just stop because its cold" the quotation isn't 100% accurate as she had blocked me so I dont have access to the chat anymore, but those were the most memorable sentences she said. For me I honestly thought i was being made fun of, as I just I am just a kid who quits because it's too cold. I mean if you wanna over simplify it and only focus on the cold then sure, but for me it was more than just cold. I tried explaining to her why I prefer not to go, she then proceeded to say "yeah this just how your generation is too lazy/quit whenever they get the chance", we used to play an MMO game before and I hated farming in that game cause it was tedious and very tine consuming. So she mentioned that as well by saying "yeah even in games you always hated farming. That's just how your generation is, you are immature". So if you haven't guessed already, this wasn't the first time she had said these words to me, it's actually quite common. And I do get annoyed when she says those things because I feel like she's undermining me as if I wouldn't know better just because she was born 10 years earlier. I then told her, I am getting really irritated by what you are saying, it is my decision not go to the gym and I am in a position in where I am happy on how my body looks and feels, taking a break from it for a few months is not a big deal. She said "yeah it's just not a valid excuse to quit the gym, I'm saying this cause I know you can do better". I said "well you really sound like you're mocking me". She said "you dont know how to take constructive criticism, and you should make new friends that dont challenge anything you say and agree with you about everything". I then said "I may not be able to take criticism well, but your delivery of constructive criticism wasn't good at all, it really sounded like you're mocking and undermining me and being made fun". She said "how am I mocking, you're giving my texts emotions, you know what I'm done being your friend you are an egotistical bastard..". I said "alright, no problem it was fun while it lasted, best of luck have a good one", she said "cheers" then proceeded to block me.
Now that wasn't the first time she keeps on saying I'm immature and all that, and I told her i dont need to be reminded every single day that im immature even if I am. But she kept on doing it.
I genuinely dont think I am in the wrong here but if I am please elaborate. If I am the asshole I will go and apologize to her even she doesn't want to be friends, I just dont like having bad blood with people i know. Either way, thank you for taking the time to read this, I dont have friends anymore to talk to about this so that's why im posting it here. Thank you!
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
BZS57v3oihVP2Km7RH1un4g94c9MARhD
|
b6bvmd
|
{
"description": "expecting sex from my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for expecting sex from my girlfriend?
|
Title sounds bad but hear me out, throw away because my friends know my reddit.
Context: My girlfriend [18] and I [18] have been in a relationship for two years after our anniversary a few weeks ago and this is more of a series of events than a one time thing.
About 3-4 months ago my girlfriend and I had a talk and she told me that she wanted to be more spontaneous, I agreed so since then I started putting in my best efforts to do so. For our situation it’s a little bit harder because we can only do sexy stuff on the weekend.
After that conversation, despite my attempts to be more “spontaneous,” the amount of sexual activity that we have has been on a steady decline. Whenever I try and be spontaneous like she wanted and initiate something when we are watching a show or getting ready for bed (which is what she told me to do originally when we first discussed it) she has shut me down about 95% of the time. Which has been discouraging, but I understand because she’s a human being and deserves the right to say no. The only issue I’ve had is that I find this to be hypocritical of what she originally wanted and that the excuses are generally crappy, examples: “I don’t want to get dirty”, “I’m just not feeling it”, etc. which only bothers me because she recycles the same few excuses every week.
Now listen, I’m an 18 year old guy, I have sexual needs and I won’t deny that I’m a horny SOB half the time, but either way this decline in sexual activity started to get to me after a month or two of these failed attempts.
The main thing that got to me was that half the time she would hype up all the sex we would have in the upcoming weekend, and then we wouldn’t even kiss at all or do anything remotely sexual, which added to the build up of sexual frustration.
Fast forward to our anniversary. We went on a three hour road trip to a beach, nice romantic place and the entire month before my girlfriend was hyping up all the acts we were going to do. Long story short, we had sex once over the two nights we stayed and not at all on our anniversary night. When she hit me with the “I just want to go to bed,” I let out a short sigh and turned off my lamp. She then proceeded to chew me out and say “I hope you know if you did that to any other girl then they’d hate you.”
The bottom line which I told her is that I’m a human being and I can’t control my initial reaction, but that after the fact I completely understand and want what’s best for her.
I tried to explain my point of view and covered everything in this post, as well as we’ve talked about this issue before, she just doesn’t get my point of view I guess.
Anyways, am I the asshole?
I’d like input from both guys and girls so I can see a variety of opinions, also I know this isn’t r/relationship_advice but if any of you guys have anything advice-wise I’d appreciate it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Zo8FxmbCSsQYbfXYo5FzJdEO4TdQn8bn
|
anxf4v
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{
"description": "not objecting/standing up for my brother when my parents told me I would inherit more than my brother",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not objecting/standing up for my brother when my parents told me I would inherit more than my brother
|
I’ve been torn up over this for a while, but never thought to post it here until I saw a similar situation posted to another sub. Before I start, I want to make it clear that I don’t think I deserve to inherit more than my brother, but I understand why it’s happening. For context: I am 27 and my brother is 32. Our parents are very wealthy.
My brother has always had a rocky relationship with our parents. He acted out a lot as a child and teenager. He stole, drank excessively, got into fights, and, on more than one occasion, threatened to kill one or both of our parents. Toward the end of high school, he became addicted to opiates. He did not go to college and has never had a job. He has made it clear that he has no intention to work and plans to live off of his future inheritance. Our parents support him financially, including paying for his food, rent, and entertainment. Whenever they ask him to consider getting a job, going back to school, seeing a doctor, or anything that he doesn’t want to do, he threatens to “disappear.” He has never directly said this but he has heavily implied “disappearing” means committing suicide.
In contrast, I went to college and graduate school. After I graduated, I landed a job that pays very well. I do not need or ask for financial support from my parents, but do not refuse when they offer to help. For example, I got an academic scholarship for graduate school and initially planned to take out loans to pay the remaining amount of tuition. My parents offered to pay the remaining tuition and I took them up on this offer.
Recently, our mom was diagnosed with cancer and, fearing the worst, my parents updated their will. I don’t understand all of it so I could be off about some things, but here’s a basic rundown:
\*I will inherit 75% of their estate
\*My brother will inherit 25% in the form of a trust which will pay him a fixed amount monthly
I was informed of this because apparently I will have some duties in regard to my brother’s trust.
Here’s where I feel like an asshole: When I was informed that I will inherit most of the estate, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t stand up for my brother or ask that they reconsider the distribution. My brother objectively needs that money more than I do because I have a job that pays well and he doesn’t. He has an expectation that he’s going to inherit money and live however he wants. He’ll definitely be able to live off of the money left to him but it’s not going to be what he’s expecting. I feel like I’m taking money that belongs to him that I don’t really need but, at the same time, I feel like he dug his own grave. I feel bad about myself for not saying anything but I don’t feel bad for him even a little bit.
So I guess I’m asking two questions:
\*AITA for not saying anything?
\*AITA for not feeling sorry for my brother?
Sorry this got so long. Thanks to everyone who read this far.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
bdSyQMJNfs4ToJAAKWan0ERCb1D0Jpia
|
a25780
|
{
"description": "being pissed at my friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being pissed at my friends?
|
TLDR at the bottom
So some background information: my friends and I are all seniors in high school and have been looking forward to grad night for the past two years. My two friends also bought our school’s senior package that includes basically everything (prom tickets, grad night, cap and gown, etc.) for one flat rate; I did not. My school has previously had it at Amusement Park 1 (I don’t know if it violates the rules to specify the amusement park so I’m just gonna denote them as 1, 2, and 3.) Everyone in the school was looking forward to going there for grad night because many kids can’t afford the normal ticket price.
Unfortunately, the school decides that our grad night is gonna be at Amusement Park 2, which has like 5 rides max and nobody liked. So many students expressed their disappointment that the school allowed seniors to get a refund if they bought a senior package. My friends and I didn’t want to go to Amusement Park 2 at all so I suggested buying a season pass for Amusement Park 3, since it costs the same as a grad night ticket. My friends were enthusiastic about the idea and agreed that it was much smarter than going to Amusement Park 2 and their parents agreed. We talked about this for 3 weeks and they remained enthusiastic about the idea. I then discovered about a sale for the season passes for Amusement Park 3 so I told them and they said they would buy them. I bought mine. One hour later, one friend texts me saying that they changed their mind the previous week (without telling me) and were going to go to grad night instead. They then proceeded to berate me about how I needed to buy a grad night ticket because they didn’t want to go without me. Didn’t apologize once for the fact that they didn’t tell me sooner. So AITA for being pissed at them?
TLDR: friends agreed to buy a season pass for a different amusement park than grad night. Didn’t and got mad at me for not wanting to go to grad night.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
OUUQdF6Uc37XpGo2rxSqPbei6PlTsfmM
|
asefji
|
{
"description": "interrupting a conversation to try and make a train",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for interrupting a conversation to try and make a train?
|
I do apologise for the length.
Tldr: Interrupted a guard at the turnstile to try and get my train. Got chastised for being rude.
For all my sins I have to commute through a busy London Overground train station, which is both overcrowded and chaotic due to trains constantly changing platforms at an instant or being cancelled for reasons such as 'the wrong type of leaves' fell on the track.
Today my bus to said station was delayed and as such I was moments away from missing my scheduled final portion.
I managed to position myself at the doors of my bus and was one of the first out. A ungraceful skip through the throngs of London commuters put me at the turnstile of my train with mere moments to spare.
Now my annual travel pass, which I coughed up three grand sterling for, stopped working a week after purchase so I am forced to ask a guard to let me through instead of using the automated system.
This particular guard was leaning on a machine having a chat and I believe was trying to be helpful to a young tourist couple.
As I ran up I said, possibly a tad louder than I needed to, 'Here's my ticket, please let me through. I need to catch that train.'. All the while brandishing my card in a rather panic stricken fashion.
The guard, instead of letting me through, told me to slow down. He was in the middle of helping this couple and would deal with me after.
I informed him that I couldn't wait as my train was about to leave. He than told me it was no excuse for being rude, apologised to the couple, turned to me and again told me off rather than let me through.
After he did finally let me through I managed to get to my train as the doors closed. I am now an hour late on top of a two hour commute and won't get to see my son today. I usually get to read him a story before bed
AITA for interrupting a person just doing their job?
IHTA for telling me off instead of letting me through?
EHS because the world is full of arseholes?
NAH because life sucks, people are just going through the shit together?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
FAa2d88ZH7FncMMSdgCR1TqtBhSOyrRN
|
b0ung4
|
{
"description": "wanting to smoke one cigarette while out this weekend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to smoke one cigarette while out this weekend?
|
I rarely smoke. When I do, it's when I've been drinking. Even then, it's a rare occasion.
This weekend, my boyfriend and I are going out with 3 of my friends and their boyfriends. One of my friends also occasionally likes to smoke and if she brings a pack, I will probably bum one.
Am I the asshole for getting mad at my boyfriend when he asks me not to? And also for getting mad when he gets mad that I tell him it's not his decision and he has no right to ask me not to?
I never smoke, but occasionally, I like to. I dont think it's right for him to ask me not to bum one cigarette.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
WSBmOLReN25PTLLkGpWE7QpTkkkxhhER
|
b4kku3
|
{
"description": "getting extremely mad at my mom for laughing at me and throwing water on me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for getting extremely mad at my mom for laughing at me and throwing water on me?
|
To give some background info, I live in a house with my parents, 5 siblings, my grandma and my aunt. I am the eldest of the 5 siblings, and my grandma doesn’t speak English.
So basically what happened is that last night, I was on my Nintendo Switch playing an online match of Super Smash Bros in our living room. I was in the middle of a game, and I was extremely concentrated on it. 2 of my younger sisters (2 and 5), are singing into some toy microphones they have, so I’m already pretty annoyed. I tell them calmly to be quiet, and go somewhere else, and they don’t. So whatever.
Then, my grandma asks me a question, and I’m not really paying attention, so she keeps saying my name. I lose a stock in the game and say “What?” in a kind of harsh tone in her language. My mom yells my name and says why I said that to her in that way. I say that it wasn’t that rude, but she still is upset at me. After the match, I asked my grandma what she said, and she asks the question and I answer it (it wasn’t even that big of a deal).
I start another match, and this time, it’s really close. When I really concentrate on something like a video game, I kind of make little facial and head movements in a jerky way. My mom has pointed this out and laughed at me for it before, and my siblings have as well, and it really bothers me. My mom notices me doing it again and starts laughing at me, trying to tell me to keep my face straight. But I interrupt her and tell her to be quiet and I don’t care. She gets mad and spills all the a cup of water she was holding all over my shorts (it was lucky she didn’t get the water on my controller). My oldest sibling had a look of shock on her face when she did that. My mom has lashed out like this before.
I get extremely mad and start yelling at her, saying “What’s wrong with you?!” She starts saying it back to me with an annoying look on her face. I leave the living room very mad and hotheaded. My grandma asks what’s wrong and my mom keeps repeating “He was disrespecting me,” which makes me even more mad. I go change my shorts and throw my wet shorts on her bed. I then take her tooth brush and rub it in the toilet in her bathroom. (I don’t know why, it seems very stupid now looking back at). I then throw myself in my bed and go on my phone, feeling sorry for myself, thinking how much of a b**ch my mom is. She then comes back half an hours later- and throws the wet shorts back on me in bed. I’ve calmed down a little and start laughing in my head thinking about how mad she was. I put my shorts in the laundry room and go back to bed.
It’s the next morning now, and I really feel like a dick, thinking I shouldn’t have done all that stuff. But I also think that my mom acted very irrationally too, so I don’t know who’s in the wrong here. Hence why I’m asking on this subreddit. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
TIrKnyuljyOIRKOnoERimMAtUCqZADv7
|
b2kuiw
|
{
"description": "not caring that my husband's headphones broke",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not caring that my husband's headphones broke?
|
My husband gave me his cheap $2 drugstore headphones after he bought 2 new pairs of Apple headphones for himself. I misplaced them after a while but didn't really care since I dont use headphones often. He asked a few times where they were, and I was honest, saying I don't know but I know they're in the bedroom. He brushed it off each time, saying they're mine now and if they're broken not to ask for another pair. I didn't even ask for this pair but whatever.
Yesterday, I cleaned out our son's bassinet to put into storage. Since he's too big for it, it was full of eventual hand-me-downs for our next child. Low and behold, beneath the tiny baby clothes, the headphones.
Plugged them into my phone and ran a bath. As I'm sitting across the room waiting for the tub to fill, I realize the headphones no longer work so I threw them in the bathroom trashcan.
This morning, my husband goes to the bathroom and returns with the broken headphones.
"You're gonna break them if you keep leaving them wherever."
I respond that they're already broken, I found them in LO's bassinet and they don't work anymore.
"If you kept better track of them then they'd work."
I just said I found them that way.
"They won't just break out of nowhere."
No but they're cheap, cheap headphones do that. "Stop making up excuses for why you broke them." I slowly explain it to him like he's 5.
"See how I haven't said anything? That's because I dropped it. Shut up already."
You haven't said anything because I'm still talking. See how I'm done now? It's amazing how quickly I can shut up when you don't interrupt. (He always complains that I bitch too much, but he never let's me actually speak.)
He then calls me a hypocrite and turns the argument to a different subject while I keep saying "this is about headphones, not an argument we had last week."
He ends by calling me an asshole and storming out of the room.
So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DFBzApoT7Dxtc7UMmCd1ABSYmt4zgbik
|
aa0x1y
|
{
"description": "not being more quiet after 10pm",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not being more quiet after 10pm?
|
My apartment's quiet hours start at 10pm. After 10, I don't vacuum, I keep the TV quiet, etc. But, I don't go to bed at 10pm, so I'm up, I'm sometimes folding laundry, etc.
My neighbor goes to bed at 10 pm. Sometimes, when I'm walking (not jumping, not marching, *walking*) she bangs on the floor (her ceiling) to make me, I don't know, go to bed?
Last night was especially bad. Long story short, my closet rod broke and was fixed, so I had to put all my clothes back in the closet. I'm also preparing for a friend visiting, so I ran the shower a little to clean my mop. This was happening around 12 or 1 am. Apparently, the shower running briefly (what if I was had to work at 2 and was actually showering? She can't be mad about that, right?) was too loud, so she banged on the ceiling again. I stomped - once - back.
20 minutes later, the police are at my apartment door to let me know there was a noise complaint. They can't do anything, because I'm clearly not playing music, there two of us in the apartment, we are in our bathrobes, but they wanted to let us know.
AITA for not stopping or limiting my activity after 10 pm?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
C5m4ykppBPgDZzyMKtGhI181ptQcKVML
|
b687m3
|
{
"description": "confronting a lesbian mother about her daughter's sex ed",
"pronormative_score": 42,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for confronting a lesbian mother about her daughter's sex ed
|
I'm in a secular homeschool group.
​
One of the moms is a lesbian (married to a woman) but is very, very isolationist driven. Besides this class she doesn't do much with the kids besides some LGBT gatherings. That's fine, to each their own. I'll call her Jane.
​
Her daughters are 12 and 14 (almost 15) She came about them in the "ordinary" way but divorced her then husband and remarried when the girls were 6m and 3. Their other mom is the only other parent they really know. Their dad was in the military and died not long after the divorce.
​
We happened to be talking while the kids were in an class (kids do swimming, gym, cooking and art while parents chat) about first periods, sex ed and all things puberty. Jane admitted that she's only told her daughters about lesbian sex and that babies come from sperm added to a woman from a petri dish. This seemed a bit odd. Later on, Pam, a mom with girls the same age clarified with Jane. Jane has taught her girls about lesbian sex, but has not taught them about heterosexual sex. At. All.
​
Jane claims that we are being narrow minded and homophobic when Pam and I suggested that she perhaps cover the basics of heterosexual sex with at least her older daughter. She said it's not needed because her daughters are lesbian, period.
​
Except, I pointed out to her that her 14yo is very cosy with a young man and they sneak off for a lot of alone time. Her daughter blushes profusely if you ask if she likes said boy. (Even though the activities are YMCA lead, parents help out a lot and we tend to share these sort of things with the parents) But she also swears she's a lesbian. Quite frankly, I'm not sure she actually understands what "lesbian" is.
​
So Pam and I told Jane that it's imperative she tell her daughters about heterosexual sex before she ends up a grandmother. We told her we would never overstep her as that's not our place, but this is NEED to know information. Jane exploded on us and said that we should watch out or she'd tell our all kids (even the little ones) the details of homosexual sex down to the last detail the next time she got the chance.
​
Right now, things are very icy between all of us. All my kids know is that they are never to be in a room alone with another adult and I've been extra careful. Pam's kids are 12, 9 and 5 and my kids are 9, 7 and 4. And quite frankly, except for Pam's oldest graphic details about any sex are just not appropriate. (my 7 and 9yos know about puberty and well as Pam's 9yo. Both 9yo's know the basics of sex. Her 12 yo knows about heterosexual sex works and that homosexual sex can happen, too, but not details).
​
TLDR: AITA for confronting a lesbian mother when I found out that her 14yo didn't know about hetrosexual sex?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
72p9UgogjHOEF6rDCkmwmREMXpZr9zDo
|
b6bo8n
|
{
"description": "not allowing my MIL to buy perfume for my daughter",
"pronormative_score": 65,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not allowing my MIL to buy perfume for my daughter
|
I'd like to say first of all that I do get along with my MIL most of the time when we disagree on something we can always talk it out.
Except this one.
​
I have a daughter and she is 20 months old ever since I got pregnant my MIL wanted to buy her baby perfume.
She loves perfume herself and even bought a few for me.
I myself have been raised in a household with little to no perfume because my mother and one of my sisters suffer from very strong asthma. Any chemicals that has a sent, cigarette smells, flowers can create a bad reaction.
​
My MIL is aware of that fact because I had to tell her not to put on perfume when she met my mother for the first time (she did listen to me then).
​
When my MIL brought the subject of buying a perfume for my (then) unborn daughter I gently told her I didn't want my daughter to have any perfume before being much older.
I was afraid that because of my family's medical history she could also badly react to perfume and I didn't want to take the risk.
​
My MIL told me that she understood and that she would only buy quality perfume.
I tied explaining to her that the quality didn't change the risk factor but she didn't really seem to listen.
I talked it over with my BF who told his mother a little bit harsher not to buy perfume for our daughter.
​
We didn't talk about it again so I thought it was settled.
​
Fast forward to this weekend, we were spending the weekend at my MIL and FIL's house just like we do once a month and I had my daughter on my lap.
I had given her a bath the night before with my MIL's baby products that she buys so that we don't have to bring everything over when we come. I smelled my daughter's hair and I thought to myself to check the baby shampoo because I thought the smell was really strong.
My MIL sees me and the conversation went like this:
​
MIL: don't you think D smells good?
Me: Yeah I just thing the shampoo smell is really strong did you buy a different one ?
MIL: no its no the shampoo ! When I went to the mall one of the saleswoman gave me a sample of a baby perfume when I showed her a picture of D ! (We don't allow anyone to put pictures of our daughter on social media and my MIL shows pictures of my baby to anyone but since she doesn't share them we don't stop her).
Me: NO NO NO NO NO ! YOU PUT PERFUME ON MY D ????! I TOLD YOU I WAS AGAINST IT !
MIL: oh I forgot !
I was soooooo mad I told my BF so he could yell at her some more and I made her throw away the sample (I watched her do it too).
My MIL is mad at me for reacting like this and think I overreacted, AITA?
Sorry it was so long but I wanted to give you all the details.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
oafnMSDVnws55A4LA3NF2NLP1v7gloXf
|
azxtvl
|
{
"description": "wanting to tell me mom \"enough is enough\" after her 4th wedding",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to tell me mom "enough is enough" after her 4th wedding?
|
Not to different people, to the SAME GUY. Last labor day, my mom got married. It was a bit rushed because my stepdad had a medical procedure and she wanted to be sure they were married in case she had decisions to make or whatever. We had a small party.
​
So, she had a second ceremony a couple of months later on the 4th of July. I totally understand, because the first wedding was rushed because of medical issues, she deserves a big day. I will say, she was a bit of a Bridezilla for that wedding, which I'd leave out, but it kind of feeds into my desire not to have to deal with her acting out again.
​
Ok, so 3rd wedding rolls around, they drive to New York to have a ceremony with his family. Seems like just inviting them to one of the other ceremonies would make more sense, but whatever, I wasn't even invited to this wedding for some reason (not complaining.)
​
Yesterday, I get a text asking if I'm free for memorial day weekend because they're having a "reception" they are exchanging vows at the reception. And having a cake. It's another wedding. I am really big into water sports (like skiing and wakeboarding, not peeing on each other.) and losing all my 3 day weekends is getting pretty old. I really don't want to hurt her feelings, but I feel like if I don't say something she's never going to stop getting fucking married.
​
Love my mom, please don't take this story and use it to construct a human you hate. She is a good mom, who really likes to entertain and get married. But, I really want to tell her that this is too much, or at the least tell her she can't keep getting married over and over. When is their fucking anniversary going to be?! Am I the asshole if I confront her? Should I just shut up and show up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
9EqfUvWFEvbPUPRBnlZnuD8XQMVV1qHO
|
a6684b
|
{
"description": "charging tutoring fee from gf's sister",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for charging tutoring fee from gf's sister
|
Roughly a week ago, my gf's sister (highschool) approached me(univeristy) to help tutor her with a language she is learing (which I am fluent in), and specifically asked me how much I charge. Not knowing how serious the tutoring would be(might be just playing around, or possible a 2-3 hour session), I gave her my usual quote and she left me on read.
Just a few minutes ago while chatting with my gf, she brought up the topic of wanting me to help tutor her sister. I told her whatever I told her sister and now apparently she is a bit disappointed at me for charging her sister.
AITA ?
( sorry for possible bad English)
TL;DR
gf's sister asked me how much for one tutoring session, I gave her my quote.
Gf kinda disappointed in me knowing that I tried to charge her sister for tutoring.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
hjTioLXI7FdA16laTZ024eOfT7M6NViA
|
a0p9pm
|
{
"description": "not going to my girlfirend's recital",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to my girlfirend's recital ?
|
TL,DR at bottom
So some backstory
We're both on a small vocal group, and we've been together for almost 10 years, and members of the group for 8years. The group is formed mainly on post-highschoolers and undergraduate people who have been doing music almost their entire life, but don't want to quit doing it after pursuing a different career like engineering, lawschool, medicine, etc. We sing from academic music to the popular type. There are plenty more girls than guys.
3 months ago all the male members of the group have had trouble going to rehearsals, myself included. The reason ? We are all at different points in our careers, some starting university, some finishing up, some already working, and that sometimes can get on the way of singing. Noticing this, the conductor decides she is going to do the end of the year program with just the girls and build a program made to work with female voices. A cool way of handling the temporal absence of the guys. While picking the songs, the conductor asks my girlfriend if she could have a couple of Christmas songs arranged to work on the female choir, since she's been doing some self-taught composition, so they'd add them to the program. She agrees and delivers. They prepare during the three months for the concert. During this time she also finished and got her engineering degree.
Now, I'm finishing my degree on Computer Science and me and my friend are working on our dissertation/thesis, this is the last phase and we have to finish the project and deliver the paper this week. However, our project is quite big for an undergraduate project. When we started, our advisor, and also other advisors, told us it was a task closer to graduates. We dived right into the madness and went with it. Took also a part time internship at a software company. Long story short, a year passed by and this is the due week.
The date for the recital, was last Sunday, late afternoon. She was really excited I was there to see her and the songs she arranged. I told her I would be there. A month ago I asked for a month permit at work so I could work full time on my thesis since there was no way I could finish working with them at the same time, they willingly granted it. Me and my friend are going every single day all day to the campus, Sunday to Sunday, for a month to work on it. Still managed to make time to see my girlfriend every Friday and Saturdays. We, myself and my friend, were at the university on last Sunday morning finishing the last details before collecting results, but something came up which could prevent us from finishing within the date limits, and my permit ended so I couldn't work on it the next day. I called my girlfriend and told her I may not be able to be at the recital since we had this problem, and needed to fix it, but will try to be there hoping she would understand. Stayed till late night at the university but we were able to fix the issue.
She was disappointed, and said she told me with time when the recital was. She's upset I wasn't there despite I explained why and now she thinks that her things are not important to me and that she always makes time for the things that matter but I couldn't make time to go to the recital.
Am I the asshole ?
TL,DR: girlfriend had recital on Sunday where she arranged the songs. My dissertation due date is the week after the recital, problem came up on Sunday and had to stay late night fixing it or else I might not be able to finish it and missed the concert. Girlfriend is now upset despite me calling her to inform her the problem came up and might not be able to go.
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ajf2cf
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{
"description": "asking to share gym equipment",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking to share gym equipment?
|
I was at the gym earlier and went to use a machine but there was an older lady using it at the time.
Me: Excuse me, how many sets do you have left?
Her: Why?
Me: Oh because I wanted to use the machine.
Her: I've just started.
Me: Is it alright if I do sets during your rest?
Her: If I was a man you wouldn't be asking me this.
Me: I've asked other people before and it hasn't been a problem.
Her: Just go and do something else...
From the minute I asked she was scowling at me, and huffing and puffing as if I'd said something offensive.
She went off on a rant after this but I just put my music back on and walked off because I didn't want to say anything rude.
Later on I see her opposite me, clearly telling someone else about the interaction because that person turned around to glare at me.
I just asked her as I would ask anyone, male or female, that was using a machine/weights that I wanted to use, but her reaction completely threw me off.
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HISTORICAL
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ai58mk
| null |
AITA, Me and My Girlfriend just broke up
|
First time poster so yay, lets hope I don't suck.
So to begin me and my girlfriend are both 14, (I know we are to young to date but that is not the point here)
We finished a 6 hour long d&d session and my mom drove my friends home. Long story short my mom was a disagreeable douche who told me to my face that she does not respect me or my opinions, after yelling at me and kicking me out of the car.
I told her I was not going home for a bit, and walked around the area for a bit before heading home.
I started heading out on the phone with my GF, who began yelling at me about how stupid I was for saying that I was not going home. I then explained that I was going home and was told that I need to go to her house to be driven home since it is cold.
I said no and used my skateboard to start heading home, I was told again and again that I need to go to her house because I need to go home. I tell her I am on my way home, and we argue about how this will play out. (I was correct about this, my dad spoke with her and we made an agreement.) She then began yelling about how I was hearing but not listening before she asked why I was so stupid and why I wont submit. I respond with "I want to be alone, I like to be alone during times like this, I like people knowing about these fights but not helping." She responds with "To bad I am getting involved I fight with my parents but I can handle it, I am not sure about you." She then says "I hate you sometimes"
I told her she can hate me, I deserve it. She then says she wasn't serious. We continue back and forth a few minutes, and I reach a Circle K near my house and I sit down. I tell her where I am and she asked again why I am so stupid and why I will not accept help. She then says "You know what if you like being alone so much, why don't you be alone singe." She then hangs up. I message her on google hangouts "Jesus man" She just left the chat.
A little background - My GF loves helping people and refuses to back off if she thinks someone might be depressed or having domestic trouble. My mom and me fight quite a bit and she knows about this. I commonly reject invitations to peoples houses to stay in my room alone, and she finds that annoying, this makes her think that I see her as clingy.
Am I The Asshole?
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b87vwk
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{
"description": "refusing to switch my daughters flowergirl dress",
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|
WIBTA: If I refuse to switch my daughters flowergirl dress?
|
Completely hypothetical and may not even happen. But I want to be prepared in case of the event.
My Son, daughter and I are in a wedding in a month. I bought my daughters flower girl dress a size 3 (in January for April wedding) since I wasn't sure if she'd have a growth spurt and I wanted to make sure she looks right for the wedding. It was a $60 and I just spent $40 hemming it so it fits her perfectly just above floor length. Over the last couple months I have talked to another girl who is in the wedding with her children as well - a boy and a girl. Our children are to match and so I've tried to connect with her to make sure the kids are situated correctly. She purchsed the same $60 dress but paid $10 to have the company tailor it exactly to the measurements provided. I believe her daughter is about 4, but I am not entirely sure. She recently sent me a photo of her daughter in the dress and it hits just below her knees. My daughters dress is floor length. The dresses do not match at all because of this. I mentioned how short the dress is and she never said anything back. Honestly it looks about 3 sizes too small. Maybe for a 1 year old. It doesnt fit her at all. I feel if I received this dress for my daughter I would have contacted the company and made sure it got fixed. However I cannot tell someone I dont even know what to do. I don't want to bring it up to the Bride cause I am worried she'll freak out and Im not even sure its my place. It is the brides future sister in law. So now Im feeling like the day of the wedding they will ask my daughter and her daughter to switch dresses so that there isnt a huge difference, since obviously my daughter will be much shorter than the other flower girl. I feel I spent the time, effort and money to make sure my kids (and myself) look right for someone elses wedding. So if I say no I wont switch the dress, does that make me the asshole? The wedding is in 4 weeks and a new dress can still be ordered.
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b2yw6t
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{
"description": "hating the resident asshole in our apartment complex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating the resident asshole in our apartment complex?
|
Sort of an update to [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/apcb7t/wibta_if_i_tell_staff_my_roommatefriend_cut/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) post, but it's also an AITA question.
So to recap: I am in a program that helps adults with autism gain independence. This program provides housing, and we each have one roommate (so 6 people in 3 apartments). Staff come in all the time to work with us with a set amount of hours before they leave in the evening.
Mike (the person I mentioned in the last post and the resident asshole) hasn't been kicked out, unfortunately. He is still discharged, but apparently he has 3 months to find a new place to live. In the meantime, he has to stay here, and according to one of the staff, we have to "be civil" with him.
However, my roommate's idea of "being civil" means inviting him into our apartment, hanging out with him more and more often, and being nice to him. She claims that when he leaves she's done with him, but I don't believe it.
Needless to say, apart from when he called me a "lazy fatass" (multiple times, despite me not being super-lazy in the slightest), I view him as an irredeemable asshole and an annoying little prick, like a bug you can't pick off your skin. He's obnoxious, pompous, and is generally, well, annoying and loud.
I will still greet him with "hi" and maybe a "how are you" and I'll still say "nice" in response to whatever he says, but I am in no way friends with him. This is my way of "being civil". However, when my roommate invites him over, I end up going to my room to get away from him, and when someone tells me my roommate is with him I go, "Of course she's with Mike." While rolling my eyes.
I understand my roommate can deal with him how she pleases, but am I the asshole for not being more nice to Mike?
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"description": "not \"fairly\" splitting life insurance",
"pronormative_score": 18,
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|
AITA for not "fairly" splitting life insurance?
|
Throwaway and on mobile.
Some background, my ex boyfriend and I have one child together. My ex has two other children from a previous marriage.
So I am looking into taking out a life insurance policy on my ex. The amount that I would requires a physical and medical history and whatever else. Nothing super serious or more invasive than a blood test.
He agreed to this. After he agreed I told him that I wanted to split the money with 3/4 going to my child and 1/4 going to his other children. He thought that was ridiculous, so I told him I was willing to compromise and split it 1/2 to my child and 1/2 for his other children to split between themselves.
He thinks that is still ridiculous and the money should be splint 1/3 to each child.
I would be paying 100% for this policy, he is more than aware of this.
He thinks I'm a giant asshole, being ridiculously unreasonable, and said he would no longer do this physical or anything else.
So Reddit, AITA?
TL;DR:I want to buy life insurance on my ex and split is 50/50 between my kid and his other kids. He thinks I'm an asshole, I disagree.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aw1gss
| null |
AITA stepdaughter problem
|
Hey guys just a bit of the backstory to start with me and my wife have been together for almost 11yrs the stepdaughter in question is almost 15 now we’ve never had a close relationship as she’s always doted over her bio father who is a waster doesn’t work and last we heard is hooked on heroin. I have alway tried my best to treat them all equally to how I treat my own daughter who I have with my wife and have a good relationship with my other 2 step daughters also my step daughter has recently been referring to me as her mums boyfriend
Anyway to the point she has been playing up more and more recently running away screaming at me and her mum and basically throwing everything we do back in our faces and has no loyalty toward us as a family. In the most recent kick off she has been caught out lying to us about different things and so had her phone taken away and grounded this then resulted in her running away again to a friend and her mum who she actually refers to as her sister and Mum (this isn’t a healthy relationship as the mother lets her 14yo and our daughter smoke weed and drink we have said she’s not allowed to stay here anymore when we found out) for a whole day and skipping school as well. When we tried to talk to her she shows no respect and any time I try to say anything she held her hands over her ears and shouts to blank me out and then responds with “why are you getting involved it’s nothing to do with you” “you’re not my dad your nothing to do with me”and other spiteful comments the other of which is the point of this story. My wife tried to pull her on this saying that she shouldn’t say this and she should show me the same respect she shows her mum (not that this is much either) as I am the sole provider in the household and buy her clothes pay for the house food and all the rest of the bills she just responds with “well I never asked him to do any of that”. Just a side note on this one this isn’t a new comment I have heard it 100 times before. After this she continues to shout scream and generally be an asshole and she has spent the last two days still showing no remorse or respect to either me or her mum kicking off again at any opportunity. So tonight my wife asked if I wanted to order a takeaway for dinner and then asks if we should get it for the kids as well which I agree to but not for the one who has been playing up as in her words “she never asked me to pay for anything she gets” I am fed up of hearing this and always getting things thrown back in our faces so I thought I’d give a different tactic a go and if that’s the way she’s going to think then maybe that’s how she should be treated she wasn’t expected to go hungry there is plenty of food in the house I was just denying her a takeaway because that is considered a treat.
Anyway the wife isn’t happy about this I didn’t expect her to be but just wanted to get other people’s opinions on the situation and see if what I did was that bad of a thing
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aocn1v
|
{
"description": "going to Lunch",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For going to Lunch?
|
Okay, so at work myself and one other were stabbed to go do a task up at the office. We had no idea what it was but as soon as we arrived up top we were handed a bunch of milk crates that were stacked full of books with plastic binding. You know the cheap curly binding that a lot of texts are made up with? Yeah those. We were told to undo all of the bindings with no scissors or any kind of tools to help us and we need to get it done as soon as possible. Meanwhile, the lads are still slaving away in the sun whilst we're doing this.
The resulting stacks of paper from these books were absolutely massive and of course we had to shred every last piece in a really old run down shredder that barely fits more than two pages at a time. Needless to say, it was taking forever.
So anyways, lunchtime comes around, my mate and I decide screw it, we should go get something to eat and come back to this afterwards. So we go away and get a feed. When we come back however we find out that nobody back down the bottom has been released to go to lunch because there was a surprise meeting going on. No way I could've known, but I guess if I had stuck around for 5mins more it might've been different.
So we walk in with full bellies whilst the rest of the workplace has been stuck there the entire time. All the lads gave us dirty looks as we walked in. AITA?
TL;DR
A friend and I were stuck doing a task by ourselves and we decided to go to lunch without asking anyone and it turns out nobody had eaten by the time we got back.
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azzpve
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{
"description": "reporting a student for stealing an expensive graphing calculator",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting a student for stealing an expensive graphing calculator?
|
I’m sure this seems like a NTA based on just the title, but it doesn’t feel like it.
So this happened a week or so ago. A kid in my band class, let’s call him Adam, picked up a graphing calculator on the table at the back of the class. He picked it up and started playing with it, and a few of us told him not to. It was an expensive model, and it definitely wasn’t his. Then he said he’d keep it, and that’s when I went up to the teacher and told her Adam was going to steal an expensive graphing calculator. She laughed at this and didn’t really believe me.
At the end of class, I saw him bragging about “his” new calculator. My friend (let’s call him Gabe) and I told him again to turn it in to someone. We wouldn’t have been triggered about this if it wasn’t so expensive. Someone would definitely miss having it. Someone else said “I’d keep it if it was me.” We then asked her why, and she told us that it didn’t really matter and that we needed to “chill.” She also said this was why “Gabe” wasn’t in the same advanced math class as her and Adam.
A few days later, I told the office staff that “someone” had stolen an expensive calculator and to announce a missing calculator somehow. If anyone could verify the model or brand or when it was missing, they could have it back. When Adam saw this, he got really mad at us. He keeps insisting he “was going to give it to his math teacher,” and all his friends are acting like I snitched for something really horrible. I feel like returning someone’s $150-200 calculator isn’t really “snitching.” Well, Reddit, you decide. Am I the asshole?
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b7lwpm
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{
"description": "inviting my abusive grandpa to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for inviting my abusive grandpa to my wedding?
|
So here's the scoop:
My (M24) grandpa was always a part of my life, we would spend summer vacations with him, every Christmas, every Fourth of July, we were never CLOSE close (I've never had a real heart-to-heart with him), but he was always one of the most significant relatives in my life. My mom was always the one initiating our visits.
He's sometimes a little cranky the way older men can be and has a very dry sense of humor that can come off as rude at times, but he NEVER did anything to hurt me or any of his kids or grandkids in my lifetime. He quit drinking long long ago and "got his life together" so to speak before I was even born.
However, my mom says that he was emotionally abusive to her when she was growing up, which I fully believe. I don't question her experiences for a second. My grandma (his ex-wife) has told me stories about him drinking heavily and treating her badly, which is why they divorced, so I 100% believe my mom that he was emotionally abusive to her when she was growing up.
All this came to a head several years ago when he and my mom had a bad falling out and she REFUSES to have contact with him now. Because of that, I've only seen him a handful of times (by myself) in the last 5 or 6 years.
So here's my dilemma: he's never been anything but loving to me and his other grandkids. He's nothing but loving to his son (my mom's close brother) who he's still close with. He's made up with my grandma and they're on good terms now and talk regularly. But him and my mom aren't on speaking terms and my mom has zero desire to change that. He's done everything he can do to reconcile with her, even reaching out to me to be able to talk to my mom and make things right, but my mom just won't hear it. I've tried to talk to her about it before, and she just says that I can't understand because I haven't been abused, and she's just waiting for him to die. I've kind of just let it go because I truly can't understand what it would be like to be in her shoes, but its still heartbreaking to see him in the last few years of his life, seemingly trying to do right by his kids.
While he IS important to me, obviously my mom is more important and I don't want her to have to have contact with her abuser, and I hate to make her chose between having contact with him and being at my wedding.
It's very hard for me to understand, since I really have no frame of reference for how she must feel. It's also hard for me to understand how she could be so close to him for all my life, then completely flip and go no-contact over one argument. I'm not saying she's wrong, just that I don't understand. Any advice? Have you been in my shoes?
TL;DR, my grandpa emotionally abused my mom as a child, turned his life around, and has been a great father and grandpa for my whole life. However, mom refuses contact, and now I'm in the position of deciding if I should invite him to my wedding or not.
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9ys43f
| null |
AITA - Issue with How BIL eats at my house.
|
BIL and his sons eat up everything they can when they come over. The last time they came over (Which was this past Sunday) they ate all the remaining lunchmeat in our fridge (2 Family-Sized turkey lunchmeat containers that were half full), a full family
sized (unopened) bag of chips, a full bag of raisin bagels, 1.5 gallons of V8 Fruit juice (both unopened until they opened them) 4 individual cups of yogurt (from a 6 pack), a full box of breakfast bars that I didn’t know we had, and the list goes on. And that was only from one day.
My issue isn’t that they eat, In fact if they are hungry and aren’t eating I’d prefer they eat but what I hate is that they’ll eat and it feels like they’re trying to hide it or hope I don’t notice how much they actually ate. Just tell me so I know what to expect or what to replace. My fiancé wasn’t feeling well this weekend, she was up and mobile but that because she pushes herself but what if she wasn’t feeling well and I needed to make her a sandwich? What if I had a gathering and the juice was for that? No one asked any of that, just blanket questions like “yo, is it cool if I grab a bite?” Yeah grab a bite, not all the bites…
I spoke with my fiancé and on a spate occasion her mom, both seem bothered by it but used to it so its effects are dulled a bit for them but I was raised to consider the needs of all the people in the house before indulging like that, and especially not in someone else’s house.
AITA for feeling this way?
|
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azmua1
|
{
"description": "being more critical of one employee",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Being More Critical of One Employee
|
I now manage people I used to work beside. The transition has been relatively seamless, but I have one employee, who I feel, is always testing boundaries. I was instrumental in getting them the job, we used to be closer, but not anymore because of these issues.
​
I am 100% OK with talking out decisions, but they consistently question decisions and push back for longer than I think is normal, and often about minor considerations. They make excuses when I assign any task they do not want to do. Are pedantic and will quickly point out any misspeak I make, especially in front of others. It's to the point where we've had a meeting with my boss, and I gave them a verbal warning where I laid out actionable changes that need to happen. I also feel they consistently try to gain control/favor/sympathy from their co-workers regarding this issue.
​
Because of this, I do not trust this person and am more critical/suspicious of their actions, and because of this, they are claiming that I'm harder on them than the rest of their co-workers, criticizing them for things I would not criticize others. I try to be fair/professional around everyone, and respectfully and constructively give critical feedback, but I must admit, because of the past and current actions, familiarity, and general annoyance with them, I am more critical. I told them I correct you for behavior your co-workers do not display, and I will continue to be more critical until you can show me this behavior has stopped.
​
I asked them what the best way was to correct them or talk out a misunderstanding (because I know everyone has different preferences and communication styles) they stated that they did not know what that would look like for them.
​
This is very frustrating because I'm trying to be a reasonable and fair boss, and am a bit insecure atm, so I may be seeing things that aren't there. At times I feel like an asshole when I have to correct behavior; at times I feel like I am being gaslit. I need to be able to control and manage my section, but I don't know which end is up.
​
So... AITA?
​
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b9wmcs
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{
"description": "not wanting my picture taken",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I don't want my picture taken?
|
My father posts almost everything to social media and I have asked him specifically to not post about me in the past. When he got remarried, I asked him not to post pictures of me from the wedding on there. He agreed and I didn't think it would be an outlandish request given the fact that I wasn't asked to be in his wedding.
Weeks go by and I get a text from a family friend saying how great I looked at my dad's wedding. I asked what they meant by that (they weren't invited) and they said they saw the wedding pictures on my dad's Facebook page. I texted my dad and asked him to remove the ones of me. He apologized and said his wife posted them for him.
He came to visit me not too long ago and I asked him not to take any pictures of me. I said that I was upset that he and his wife didn't respect my request to remain off of the internet and he said he wouldn't take any. During the course of our visit, I noticed he would sneak some shots of me around my house or while we were out in the city. I asked him to delete the pictures of me and he said that he would.
When he returned home, he sent me some pictures from his trip and he included some of the sneaky shots he took of me. I went off on him, stating that he betrayed my trust once again. He said that I'm his daughter and he has a right to take my picture. I told him he does not, especially since he has lied to me in the past about keeping me off social media. He goes on about how, in the end, pictures are all we have and since we don't see each other often (due to a strained relationship), he wants something to remember me by.
We didn't talk for a number of months and he ended up texting me, apologizing, and said he will respect my request to not have my picture taken in the future.
He is coming to visit again soon. AITA if I continue to not allow my father to take my picture in fear he will post it to social media?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
OPl1WEuRi2JkTiIJIJjdE0vwYH529P2O
|
aq2tyf
|
{
"description": "sleeping on the couch after sex",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for sleeping on the couch after sex
|
My husband (27) and I (26) have been together for almost 10 years, married 3. Our sex life has been rocky in the past due to my own health issues and I have delveloped some confidence issues pertaining to sex.
Last night, my husband asked if we could have sex (he always asks because of the medical issues, he really is a sweetheart about it) and, even though I wasn't in the mood, I said yes. From the start, it wasn't great. He could tell I wasn't feeling it, but I tried to assure him that all was good, I wasn't in pain, I was just a bit tired. I finally tell him that I'm sorry, but something is obviously not working down there for me, maybe we could try again tomorrow. He agrees. I get up to go to the bathroom and he says to me:
Husband: " are you still taking the muscle relaxers from your back?"
Me: "No. I took the last one 3 days ago"
Husband: " Yeah, those stay in your system for like a week"
Me: "I did not know that. I'm sorry things weren't working out"
Husband: " It makes sense though. It was kind of like throwing a hotdog down a hallway"
I was genuinely hurt by this and didn't come back to bed, but laid down on the couch instead. He got up and asked me if I was coming back to bed anytime soon. I said no, and he got mad and said I was pouting for no reason.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
tTStcvjlGUJpafci233mga9LdfCyHC3L
|
9vbu3b
|
{
"description": "getting hating my housemate/classmate for flaking on her promise to do some work on our project",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting hating my housemate/classmate for flaking on her promise to do some work on our project?
|
Sorry, this is long... I'm basically venting.
​
So, I (35M) live with one of my college classmates (call her Lily 30F) in our final semester. She did me a solid by letting me live with her and her gf, and not charging me exorbitant rent. Tbh though, I felt she kind of owed me for basically dragging her ass through all the previous semesters. Not to mention befriending her when the entire class either pretended she didn't exist or made jokes about her. Since I became her friend, the other students quit being dicks. Ironically, Lily talks about how she is glad she had the courage to come out of her shell and become friends with people (absolutely never happened). I give her weed, feed her pets, fix things around the house, etc. The odd time she gives me a ride to and from school.
In between bong hits (at school) Lily complains about how confusing things are. When I helped her in previous semesters I tried to actually teach her, not just give answers like she wanted. So eventually I decided to give her some diplomatic advice (stop smoking weed all the time, attend lectures, and stop playing video games all day). I'm a pot smoker myself so I figured my advice might hold weight. She instead acted like I was a total asshole, which I assumed would happen even though I was really nice about it, and since then our relationship has been strained.
In the meantime, we were given a large project and two months to do it. I spent a month doing the work on and off, and yesterday we were scheduled to present it. Now I knew she wouldn't do any work, but she kept saying how she wanted to do something. So, when my girlfriend was able to visit me last minute a few days before the due date, I asked Lily to spend about 15 minutes preparing a Power Point format and grabbing a couple screen shots while my gf and I spent the weekend together. When the time came for her to show me what she did, she of course did nothing. She spent the entire weekend getting stoned and playing RDR2. Instead of apologizing, she simply stated she did nothing and gave me a bs excuse. I expected her to do nothing, but lying to me and not apologizing pissed me right off. When she then told me I can take time out of my day and do the work with her I acted pissed off but didn't speak my mind clearly, just kinda pouted and gave her the cold shoulder. I was hurt, and quite honestly I'm afraid she'll fuck with my stuff at home or change the locks (probably just me being paranoid). But I should have been clear.
She reciprocated the cold shoulder. Soon after I broke the ice and tried to coordinate our presentation. She presented me with her late contribution, that was a total piece of shit, yet still probably took her an hour (bravo). Over breakfast I redid it entirely, keeping only a background image. I ask her to come to class a little early so we can set up. She agrees but doesn't offer me a ride or anything (it was cold and raining, and a 30 minute walk for me). I again do all the prep work, break the ice again and make jokes to ease the tension. We present, and it actually went well. I did all the complicated explanation, and somehow she came out looking like she did work. Things aren't as tense now, but I'm still pissed. She doesn't thank me, and of course still doesn't apologize. Which is all I want. I can't stop thinking about it, which is why I wrote this post. Because quite honestly I know SHE is the asshole and she can go fuck her incompetent, self-absorbed, trashy self. I hope her cowardice and addictions haunt her for ever. Maybe that actually makes me an asshole :P
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
HDpHQ6f2WBlHNeT0M2M9YT2FhsiHC6dI
|
aue5pd
|
{
"description": "telling people at work what really happened the night I hooked up with a co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told people at work what really happened the night I hooked up with a co-worker?
|
At our work Christmas party we got really drunk and I [21F] ended up going home with a co-worker [21M].
We had sex and then I fell asleep. A few hours later I woke up to him getting back in my bed. He said he had gone to the bathroom when I asked him were he had gone. In the morning he told me he had run into my roommate.
After he left my roommate told me what happened. He went into her room while she was watching a movie. He sat with her on her bed and they watched it together. He wanted her to have sex with her and tried to grab her boobs. When she got angry he said she was the one coming onto him and that he was only 17. She kicked him out of her room after that. Later after I had fallen back asleep he tried to go back into her room but she had locked her door.
I didn't say anthing to anyone at work but I found last night that he told some people that he had a threesome with me and my roommate.
Would I be the asshole if I told people what really happened that night? I don't want to seem vindictive but I don't want false rumors about me going around.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
993xb3Y3qrGH3PDpD57nX1CX09nHnPDs
|
a6baje
|
{
"description": "purposely one upping my broke brother with gifts for his kids",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 62
}
|
AITA: I purposely one upped my broke brother with gifts for his kids
|
His ex wife left him homeless and everyone is staying with me because she no longer has custody. He's been saving up a lot to get gifts for his kids. I didn't really realize that. I don't know why but when I was buying gifts, I immediately thought of it as a way to be better than him at it. It was kinda playful to me. I bought extremely expensive gifts and I specifically went for stuff that they're extremely interested in. I've been shopping for a while and I finally showed him what I bought for them. He immediately bursted into tears. He ranted about everything going on with him and he said that he felt ashamed. I felt extremely guilty about it. He obviously felt extremely insecure about everything he bought. I thought since we treated everything as a competition, he'd be fine. But, he wasn't at all, I ended up putting on all of them were from him and only leaving a few from me but I still feel like a huge asshole. I talked to him about it earlier today and he said that it's not about him. Nonetheless, I don't feel any better.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 62,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 62
}
|
WRONG
|
yiMNVgeVIg78SjAtWrDSevTK1AO0EBoL
|
aszplv
|
{
"description": "telling my brother the reason he is poor is because of our parents, in front of our parents",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for telling my brother the reason he is poor is because of our parents, in front of our parents?
|
I'll start by saying everyone in my family thinks ITA but I feel I did nothing wrong in this situation.
I am richer than my brother who is a socialist and subscribes to the whole "there shouldn't be billionaires" mindset. We got into a lengthy discussion at dinner today about the poor vs rich. I'm well read on political theory and he is not so it was a fact vs emotion argument. I flat out told my brother that he is poor because of our parents I said Jeff Bezos didn't force our parents to give birth to children they couldn't afford, send us to public school, feed us food doused in chemicals and sit us in front of the TV instead of teaching us valuable skills. Our parents did that and their parents before them did that our entire bloodline is fill with bad parents. I didn't insult anyone, I didn't say it was necessarily my parents fault I said their parents did the same thing they perpetuated the poverty cycle and it's up to someone in our bloodline to make a sacrifice and be a good parent which no one thus far has done. My brother again did not hear it and simply believes in this zero sum game of finance.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
nQUr9VPYlgXGYtySbOyNfcPNxpMiGsbw
|
ba7ote
|
{
"description": "telling a high school acquaintance that he shouldn't apply to work for the same lab I work for",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling a high school acquaintance that he shouldn't apply to work for the same lab I work for?
|
I work for a lab and six other people and we became good friends because we stay in the room for about 8 hours a day, everyday, since we all joined last year. We recently had an opening and this guy a knew in highscool wanted to join, but hes a weird, quite, kinda creepy guy and I felt it would ruin our whole vibe if he got the job, so I told him that it's a lot of work and he's better off looking for a job somewhere else. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
dtmsOaEJPBXp5wkoCExdF3iuZrYq5qob
|
asg2zn
|
{
"description": "not visiting my grandma",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not visiting my grandma?
|
I’d like to start this off with a bit of background info.
I am a 15 year old boy. When I was 10 my mom lost custody of me after a long battle (around 2 years). Since then, I’ve been living with my dad, which has improved my life for the better and have had no contact with my mom other than the time I texted her wishing her a happy mother’s day back in 2017. She asked for an apology after I texted her that, saying that what I texted her meant nothing.
My mom was mentally and sometimes physically abusive, which made me want to live with my dad. My parents divorced back in 2012 when I was 8.
Fast forward to last week when I was visiting my hometown (St. John's, Newfoundland). Up until then, it had been around 2 years since I was last there, and I visit every so often because a very large majority of my family lives there. My grandma on my dads side lives in St. John's, so we spent most of our time there.
However, we decided one day to visit Bell Island, which is another island in Newfoundland where I spent a lot of time. My grandma on my moms side lives there (which is why I spent a lot of time there). I have not heard anything from my moms mom for about 7 years, so I decided to visit her out of the blue, just to see how she was.
Also for a bit of context for this next part, I have an 18 year old sister.
Everything was going great until I asked how my mom was (not in a shit disturbing way but I was genuinely curious). Once I asked this, my grandmas tone completely changed, she said “I think you should ask for yourself, I hate what you did to her and I find it unbelievable”.
She continued on her rant and my sister even joined in, making me feel like an asshole. I was incredibly angry until I realized that she only knows my moms side of the story, which is probably some victim bullshit sob story.
As my sister and I were about to leave, she made me promise that I’d see her again before I left to go back to Ontario, I quickly said yes and got the hell out because I was feeling very uncomfortable.
I haven’t spoken to her since and I didn’t see her, I’m back in Ontario now and I’m feeling very conflicted because she made me super uncomfortable but I feel bad for some reason.
Sorry for the super long post and shitty writing, this is my first time making a post like this. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
kjBz1F6w8PBPjfUSYOnsCVezZg7W3PZm
|
auebrk
|
{
"description": "needing my bf to stay home",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 22
}
|
AITA for needing my bf to stay home?
|
I’m an introvert. On top of that I have major depression. Lucky me.
My bf is my rock. He’s my world. He’s been really supportive up until recently.
He joined this group or friends out of nowhere. There’s this flirty type girl in the group that I have my suspicions about.
Now on one of his two days off a week he wants to go and play board games with flirty girl and her friends.
He invites me, but it’s a bullshit invite. He knows I’m an introvert and get drained being around people.
I think that flirty girl is just trying to get bf to get with her. Besides all that, honestly I would just rather we stay home and watch movies together.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 22
}
|
WRONG
|
7Uh2QxTGPFU1TRmiKOWY1ect9oO1pGNU
|
aatzem
|
{
"description": "hating haha's",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for hating haha’s
|
I hate using things like “ha” “lol” and all the other bullshit. Yet I use it in text messages and all because friends or family use them all damn day and if I don’t I get questions asking if I’m okay or upset. I’m not, I just don’t want to use them. Also, I get pure rage when people do things like lolololol. I do the bare minimum for people I like but when I have to text someone in a professional way (I’m a GM for a restaurant) and they send a haha I want to punch a baby. Also I guess I’m supposed to apologize for formatting and such. I’m just a bitter.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5ponNj8YpBBpZ48fQL7eimcKbaijzo0D
|
a7uwje
|
{
"description": "not financially helping my brother move in with a new girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not financially helping my brother move in with a new girlfriend?
|
My brother has been dating his girlfriend for 5 months. He recently told me that he was thinking about signing lease for an apartment with his girlfriend and wanted to know how I felt about it. I told him I didn’t think it was a great idea because she doesn’t have a stable job, they just recently started dating, and he’s young (20). I also said if he did sign the lease he needs to keep his finances protected. He got upset and told me that I don’t trust his girlfriend. He came over the next day with her and told me and my husband he was going to sign the lease, and that he’d really appreciate it if we helped him with the deposit, which is something we’ve told him we would help with once he got his own place. My husband and I talked and told him no because we didn’t think it was a smart decisions.
He was upset, but his girlfriend is the one that was pissed. She thinks I’m treating him like a child and not fulfilling promises I made. It’s not that I don’t want to support him, but I also want him to make wise financial sections, and I don’t feel like I need to support bad ones, promise or no promise. So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
L3NOtRtN4QGUE1mL8GmqCBjwMEIOovbQ
|
a1qka8
|
{
"description": "telling my friends boyfriend she's planning on breaking up with him",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for telling my friends boyfriend she’s planning on breaking up with him
|
So I’m new to this so forgive me if my format is off
So to provide some context I’ve known this friend (we will call her Jenny) since the beginning of the year and we’ve gotten along and recently she got together with my friend (we will call him Adam) and me and Adam have been good friends for a while and Jenny recently told me she’s having cloudy feelings about Adam and wanted to date a kid (we will call Ben) over him so after some thought I decided to tell him what’s happening I didn’t exaggerate it in any way but I’m just looking out for him but I also feel a sense of guilt because I would feel bad if I started a shitshow between them so AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
oTuRhnMArA41viW8hKJa65IEgG5XQBhB
|
b29kc6
|
{
"description": "acknowledging someone else's birthday on my friend's birthday trip",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for acknowledging someone else's birthday on my friend's birthday trip?
|
A friend of mine (let's call her "Katie") recently organized a camping trip to celebrate her birthday. Everyone split the cost for food and reserving the campsite, and a few of us (myself included) pitched in extra by bringing tents and other camping gear or driving people to and from the campsite. Most of us also brought a gift for Katie. There were around ten or twelve people on the trip in total, though not everyone stayed for the whole time.
A few days before we were supposed to leave, I realized that one of the other attendees (I'll call her "Elizabeth") was also going to have a birthday during the trip. Elizabeth is one of my oldest friends, but has only been good friend with Katie for a year or so, so I figured that Katie hadn't realized that their birthdays are so close together. Elizabeth is a quiet and modest type, so I doubted she'd speak up about it herself, but I would have felt bad if her birthday went by without anyone acknowledging it. So, I texted Katie to give her a heads-up that Elizabeth's birthday would fall during the trip, and offered to pick up a cake or a card or whatever she thought would be best.
To my surprise, Katie was completely against the idea and told me in no uncertain terms that she did not want to celebrate someone else's birthday during her birthday trip. I reminded her that the whole trip was already dedicated to celebrating her birthday, and it didn't seem like a huge deal to briefly acknowledge Elizabeth's birthday as well. She just kept repeating that it was HER birthday and HER party, and she wasn't going to share it with anyone else.
I was really upset by that point and almost decided to skip the trip entirely, but ended up going because I'd already paid my share and committed to bringing a couple of tents. I brought a card and a small gift for Elizabeth, which I gave to her privately.
Weirdly, Katie did end up bringing a cake for Elizabeth. My theories for this are: 1) she had a last-minute change of heart, or 2) that was the plan all along, and she wanted to make herself look like the only one who bothered to remember.
I feel like I wasn't out of line here, but I don't know. Is there some rule about this that I didn't know about? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EBdK3kWSITLNfaiJ6VDJ4Zf17Bc3kne9
|
ba1m5n
|
{
"description": "wanting to be alone after my grandfather died",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for wanting to be alone after my grandfather died?
|
My girlfriend really enjoys when we are able to spend time with her friends from home because we aren’t able to do it often. Two days ago she hinted at me joining them for a happy hour which I happily said yes to.
Unfortunately my grandfather passed away yesterday. I was able to say goodbye and see him last week but will be returning home tomorrow to spend the weekend with family.
Today has been an obviously weird day for me.
I’m already terrible at expressing my emotions (I bottle everything in and compartmentalize it)
I’m on my way home from work when she calls me and reminds me of the happy hour. Turns out, this happy hour is a memorial happy hour for one of her friends that died recently. Literally the last thing I want to be at.
I show up and I will admit that I wasn’t really trying to be social. It was a loud bar and not really where I spend my Friday nights. After about an hour and a beer I see that this wasn’t just a happy hour and that her friends came a long way and wanted to go out somewhere else.
I felt misled a little and pulled my gf to the side and told her that I was going to head home soon.
She immediately starts tearing up and we walk outside and have an intense 15-20 minute conversation outside.
Basically I was saying that I wasn’t really in the mood to be social and wanted to go home and think about my day and family. I didn’t want her to leave her friends because she doesn’t see them often and they came and long way but would also be happy if she wanted to join me as well.
She was upset and thinks that I don’t want to her to be with me and why can’t she come
I started to get pretty annoyed and said something along the lines of wtf my grandfather died. I don’t want to be at an event remembering someone who recently died. It has nothing to do with you but I also don’t think you shouldn’t ditch your friends because they are expecting to hang with you and I will be okay let’s hangout later.
She doesn’t like this response because me asking her to stay with her friends means that I don’t want to see her. She’s crying outside of this bar and this conversation wasn’t going anywhere so I caved and we both went back inside only for her best friend pull her to the bathroom and then come back and decide that they were all leaving and going back to my gf’s house. My gf then passive aggressively told me to go home since I didn’t want to be there anyways and that she was sorry for forcing me to come. but I stuck around and spent time with them and we all ordered food and hung out for a few hours.
I feel like she shouldn’t have reacted the way that she did. It was annoying that she immediately turned me wanting to be alone into me not wanting to spend time with her and her friends.
AITA for wanting leave her friends and wanting her to stay with them?
I have to say that my grandfather and I weren’t very close and I didn’t know him that well. She knows this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
afjevK9yGfNrbb9mDevqpMGykKgrqSrB
|
b6ggin
|
{
"description": "getting angry when I don't receive quality service for something that could improve my life a lot when done right but when done wrongly could have a huge negative impact on my future",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting angry when I don't receive quality service for something that could improve my life a lot when done right but when done wrongly could have a huge negative impact on my future?
|
I'm using a company's pretty expensive service to help me with a visa process to move to another country for work. My background is complicated so I need their help.
But they have presented issues I'm not happy with and I'm trying to figure out if me getting frustrated and angry with them is valid or me being an asshole -
1. They don't respond for days unless I ask for an update. The work has been delayed by a month so far. Once they took a week to let me know that they couldn't open a document. They only informed me of this when I emailed for an update and right after the call they magically managed to open that document. Indicating they hadn't tried to work on that before I contacted them.
2. Most of their work revolves around entering information in forms based on documents that I provide to them. So, far they have made mistakes in multiple places in those forms which could have been resolved by going through the documents properly or asking me.
3. The above wouldn't be an issue if they hadn't decided to submit my application even though I asked them not to till I cross check and confirm those changes.
4. They made an assumption about a detail related to my education that would have been considered as "misinformation" for the application and could have led to officials banning me from applying for a few years or worse. All they had to do was ask me to confirm first. The online form has some viewing limitations, so I found out about this mistake through pure luck.
5. They didn't provide me with proper information about one part of the process for my work history even though they were aware of my situation for months. I had to request my employer to correct things on documents I was requesting from them which is an awkward thing for me because I feel I am bothering them and also they might think of me as not being thorough before asking for help. It's even more complicated because one of my past employers
All of the above has caused me to get frustrated and tensed over a period of time and I end up getting angry at them about these issues.
Their point of view as per me for the above points -
1. I am responsible for making sure I reach out to see if there has been progress even though I think it's just as much their responsibility if not more.
2. Mistakes happen and I was fine suggesting changes to some extent. But not after point 4 happened.
3. They can update information later on for the application but this shouldn't have happened if the client explicitly said not to.
4. Check point 2
5. Companies/employers shouldn't have problems with helping me out and it's my own hesitations in bothering them repeatedly.
I feel guilty for expressing my frustration because I want to do a better job of talking calmly and discussing thing through. But AITA for reacting like this at all?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
gcMdqFsMCR4JneCPWfO4dKseSWXlVYDt
|
aajs7m
|
{
"description": "pretending to be a 18 year old female and selling nude pictures online",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for pretending to be a 18 year old female and selling nude pictures online?
|
The idea came to me about a month ago based on a Reddit post. I went to various adult chatrooms, and I went to the "older for younger" section. I made a fake Kik account and I then I went into the chatroom said that I was an 18 year old college student who was selling nude pics (I'm actually a 22 year old male). I downloaded a bunch of nudes (no faces). Then, I went into the chatroom and said something like "18f looking for an older man to spoil me. Kik me at xxxxxxxxx"
After posting this in the public chat, I had almost 30 Kik messages. All these men were desperate for the "privilege" of getting to spoil some girl online who they never met. Some of them would ask for face pics, and I just deleted those chats because I don't think that it's right to use somebody else like that.
I asked for a 20 dollar Amazon gift card in exchange for pictures. I used an old rooted Android phone and a tool that makes the pictures look live (because Kik tells the other person if the photos were taken with the Kik camera) Someone offered me 50 dollars to see a video of me using a dildo. I sent them a video I got from Pornhub (again with no face) and sent it to him. Many men would come back to me asking for more but I would just tell them that I couldn't send any more because my boyfriend found out what I was doing.
I kept doing this whenever I had free time. Out of every 10 men who messaged me, I probably sold nudes to 2 or 3 of them.
Part of me feels like this was wrong. I certainly was ripping these men off. They could have easily found similar pictures or Brazzers or Reddit or Google images. But the other part of me feels like I did nothing wrong. They get exactly what they asked for and they probably felt pretty good about their purchase. I didn't scam anybody. I said that I would send pictures and I did. Even though I did use pictures of somebody else, they had no faces in them so they could never be traced back to the person.
Since I didn't want anything traced back to me, I only accepted Amazon gift cards from my "clients". I spent them quite soon after I received them, because it was the holiday season and I also had quite a bit of things I wanted for myself. Today, I went into my Amazon account and added up all of my orders and my current gift card balance. They totaled to $690. I had made almost 700 dollars from pretending to be an 18 year old girl and selling nude pictures. I had no idea I was making so much money from this. I couldn't have done this more than 15 times in the month, but I made 700 dollars from desperate old guys online.
TLDR: I made a fake Kik account, posed as a 18 year old girl, and sold nudes to horny older men and made $700 dollars in a month.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
QIMkASVudJCm8HyqU5j1hvdaMBO29adt
|
a5jc0a
|
{
"description": "touching my girlfriend's brother's fiancee's ear",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for touching my girlfriend's brother's fiancee's ear?
|
So I've been seeing this girl (who we'll call Sarah) since two Saturday's ago and we immediately hit it off. We are always joking around and messing with each other. We would text all the time and she would always respond to me within a minute or two even if she was at work or with other people.
Now, this past Saturday, we went to her brother's (who we'll call Dave) house to drink and play Cards Against Humanity. Her brother's fiancee (who we'll call Jane) was there and so were a couple other people.
After we had been drinking for a bit, I noticed Jane had a tattoo behind her ear of a college logo. This college logo happened to be my alma mater and I told her I liked it. Now, while telling her this, I pointed at it. I'm 70% sure I never touched her, but I was drunk so I might have. But even if I did, all I did was touch briefly behind her ear.
Shortly after this, Dave stormed out of the room and Sarah chased after him. They were outside for about 20 minutes, and then Sarah came back inside and told me Dave was super pissed off because I touched Jane's tattoo.
Dave avoided me for about an hour and then eventually sat down next to me. I struck up conversation with him about video games and marvel characters, and he was totally nice to me and didn't mention me touching his fiancees ear once.
Sarah and I left a few hours later, and her demeanor toward me immediately changed. She just acted started acting weird. We didn't joke around at all, and she showed no affection toward me.
Over the next few days when I would text her, she would take hours to respond, and when she did respond, it would be very short and straight to the point responses. After a few days of this, I flat out asked her what was going on, and she flipped out. She's taking her brother's side and saying it was completely inappropriate that I touched Jane's ear. Apparently Dave told his and Sarah's mom that I touched Jane's ear and now Sarah's whole family hates me.
So AITA in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
IZzBhVrSbXVdueKW29Hgpnfyg6O8vHH7
|
ad9czu
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my girlfriend getting angry with her family",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my girlfriend getting angry with her family?
|
I am a white guy and I am currently dating a black woman. I love her with all of my heart. Some of her family members don't approve of interracial relationships. It is not I don't think that they see whites as not good enough but they think it creates animosity and tension.
I prepared a special dinner for her family and we were getting along well until they made a joke about black women who date whites thinking they are above everyone else. I actually wasn't bothered by it but my girlfriend went ballistic and told them to get out.
I said they were welcome to stay and went to get desert. While my girlfriend was in the kitchen, I went out and said that I am sorry about the anger and such. Unfortunately, my girlfriend could hear this and shouted through 'don't you dare apologise to them!'.
Eventually, my girlfriend calmed down and we had a peaceful if tense desert. The funny thing is that I was actually getting along with the family, particularly her uncle.
After they left, she told me she was sick of their bigotry and I said that I think the best approach to the situation is a charm offensive not through anger. I am a bit upset at my girlfriend in disrupting dinner when I think I was gradually winning them round.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Tt9gn9rxgyCpuPBwKbbuwwUnnp40mRdF
|
azvf10
|
{
"description": "not paying* back",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not paying* back?
|
Friend invited me to 40$ concert. I told her I could not afford 60$ of the airbnb at the moment so I would have to pass. She told me not to worry about it and to pay her back after I get paid.
So I paid for my ticket, and exclusively told her that i ONLY had enough money to cover myself (food) and no other expenses.she was begging me to go up an extra day- i advised her i am not willing to pay the extra day airbnb fee because i am not a strict budget and one day was enough for me.
She told me that she would cover the cost in total.
Fast forward to the trip, 3 hour drive, her car. I DROVE because she didnt want to, I also put 45$ of my money into gas.
We get to the airbnb, which has cameras- she tells me that it will cost EXTRA for me to be there bc she thought she could sneak me in.
I ended up paying the 15$ extra for night 1&2 bc she was yelling at me and told me if I didnt pay she was going to ignore the airbnb owner until he came up himself and confronted me (?).
Day of the concert- i sit in a tattoo parlor for 6 hours with her so she can get a 700$ tattoo....
Just so happens I had 2 buddies from our hometown visiting family near venue and they were also going to the concert. I told my friend we can meet there and take a 2$ subway trip to venue. She agreed.
When we got to buddies place she was complaining & btched and moaned until we agreed we would get in uber with her.
on way back buddies asked if they could tag along on trip home in the morning as train tix would cost them 150$, and THEY LIVED LITERALLY ON THE WAY HOME. WE WOULD *NOT* HAVE TO GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO PICK THEM UP *OR* DROP THEM OFF*
My friend said yes as long as they tossed gas money- everyone was happy and we departed. (When i was alone with my friend i made sure to ask if she was comfortable/ didnt feel obligated)
Fastforward to morning, I am driving. In car friend asks me to ignore my buddies and just leave without. I said no?
We made it to my place and instead of taking the boys home, just kicked them out at my place and sped away.
Anyways fast forward a week. I send the money for the airbnb and the extra person fees..
texts me saying I owed her 60$ for parking fees, and '60$ for the second airbnb night & asking me to have BOTH my friends pay her 60$ each for the ride back to our hometown (they agreed to 15$ each as 30$ is gas for the whole way). Her excuse for asking for so much is that they would have had to pay more for a train so 60$ each aint too much...
Anyways i sent her the screenshots of our previous conversations of me exclusively telling her the money i had and what I could spend, and advising none of this was an issue until she spent 700$ on a tattoo.
Shes now told me that i am a piece of shit and a good friend would give her more money and shes broke.
TL;DR
Friend invited me out and after exclusively advising the money i had to spend and contribute (which she was paid and more), she still asked for more money.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
6go1H9AwiRDpUepwrVUA9zOI8Qo21DMS
|
aupf02
|
{
"description": "destroying my cheating exes' relationship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA? I destroyed my cheating exes’ relationship
|
My ex, who cheated on me with a friend of mine. And their year anniversary was coming up (This Wednesday I believe)
I never liked them after I caught them cheating. But the thing that made me decide to do something was when her boyfriend (We will call Sea Bass) came up to me at my locker and told me “If you fuck with me and Ford Mustang (don’t ask), you’ll be sorry”
This sent me into a furious state. I had to get him back, the only thing I know would affect him, is their relationship.
So I got to talking with friends. Turns out Sea Bass, was buying Ritalin off of some mutual friends. This gave me an idea.
I made an anonymous account (which isn’t all that anonymous now) on instagram, and DMed Ford Mustang.
“Hey, I’ve heard your boyfriend is buying Ritalin off of some people”
She said thanks for the information, and that Friday. She talked to him.
I waited in anticipation to hear some good news, turns out she came to school today crying. I’m pretty sure I did it, but now I need to know, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
tvWv7zkDY0T7GxrmnGaLFHkUTVU7JhhC
|
arygp5
|
{
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for an issue with his job",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my boyfriend for an issue with his job?
|
Throwaway yadda yadda yadda TLDR at the bottom.
My boyfriend works 3rd shift at a job that that has lots of room for upward mobility, but his position is kind of low on the totem pole. He was looking for new work for a while but caught wind from his superiors (who he is in good standing with) that he’s the next in line to move up. This means he could get off 3rd shift and make a lot more money, which he really needs right now.
Last week my boyfriend was asked to work 3 days of 1st shift at a second location this upcoming week. They didn’t tell him why but he jumped on the opportunity. He theorizes that they’ll looking for a new supervisor at this second location and they can use this chance to see how well he works there. He asks me if I can make sure he’s up at 8:30-9 Monday morning and I figure sure, no problem, I’m always up by then anyway.
For some relevant information, he was up at 10am Sunday then went to work at 9pm, then came back home at about 4am and went to bed shortly after. Both our alarms go off at the same time at 8:30am but he cannot be woken up. He is the heaviest sleeper I have ever met, he will sleep through natural disasters if he’s tired enough. I try to get him up and all I get is snapped at to “fuck off”. I go give myself some space and at a little after 9 I try again. He’s coherent enough to tell me that he isn’t bothering, he absolutely cannot get up and be functional right now.
On one hand, I know that being awake for so long has to be very hard and switching schedules is even harder, and since his job involves operating heavy machinery he had a point. But on the other hand I’m so upset because he need a promotion. He lives paycheck to paycheck and I’m happy to chip in more since I make more (we live together) but I’m about to have new car payments and I would like to see him start saving. We’ve been talking about moving and potentially my going back to grad school and we both agreed that can’t happen until he has a better position. He could have just ruined his chances.
TLDR: Boyfriend slept through an opportunity to look good for a potential promotion at work. He didn’t sleep in because he is lazy, he slept in because he worked an 8 hour shift after being up for 12 hours before that. It’s not my job or my life but I’m still mad anyway because we’re stuck in a rut until he advances in his career. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
MEwS6IBGUabtHRE6mOoA7rRT61kV5NCy
|
axsert
|
{
"description": "wanting a relationship with my biological father",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting a relationship with my Biological father?
|
First post on Reddit and I’m typing this up on mobile. I’m a 24 year old male and I want to get to know my biological father.
My mom got pregnant with me when she was 16 and at the time she was in a relationship with my dad. Things were fine for awhile and they kept their relationship together throughout the pregnancy. After the pregnancy is when the issues started arising and their relationship ended.
My dad was hanging around with the wrong people and got involved with a group of guys going around and breaking into stores after business hours and stealing merchandise. Without going into too much detail it all came to an end after a couple years and he had spent most of my life in various jails and prisons. An important factor in this for me is that none of his crimes were violent and he has not been to prison since he last got out around 10 years ago.
When I was 16 my dad signed his parental rights to my mom and my step dad adopted me. This was in exchange for all past child support to be “forgiven”. My mom and step dad always told me that he was essentially putting a price on me as if I was only worth
so much money to my dad.
After I turned 18 is when my dad began to try and contact me again, but he wasn’t asking me for anything other than to meet up... so I gave him that shot. I met him for a burger and noticed he wasn’t quite the guy that had been describe to me. He was friendly, laid back, and looked identical to me. When I told my mom and step dad I had met him they were furious and went into detail about how abusive he was and essentially what a piece of trash he was. I believed them.
At this point I’m 19-20 years old and have moved out of my moms house into an apartment of my own. The woman I was in a relationship with at the time suggested I try to reach out to my dad again and get to know him more, which I did. I met him and his soon to be wife for dinner and after that they invited us to their house. We went and spent a few hours up there but I couldn’t help but feel guilty for going against what my mother had said.
Fast forward to just before my 21st birthday. I had been around my dad off and on the majority of the previous year and had nothing but good experiences. But this is where the AITA part comes in. My mom and step dad somehow found out I had been hanging out around my Bio dad and essentially gave me an ultimatum. They said I could choose between seeing my dad or seeing my mom and step dad. They also threw in that if I chose to stay around my dad they would prohibit my younger brother and sister from seeing me (Both were minors at the time and one is still a minor currently). So AITA for wanting a relationship with my dad without having to sneak around and hide things from my mom?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
BzSbGTc0HxocfwsgD8D0cRAa0cuRlQ1C
|
acs9bl
|
{
"description": "finding out my girlfriend has been possibly cheating",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for finding out my girlfriend has been possibly cheating?
|
Me and my SO have been together for quite some time. We've been through rough patches and worked through them all. We love eachother to bits. Ive told her that she's my first everything (from relationship to sexual stuff) - this is completely true. She told me the same and I believe her.
So the other night we were together getting takeout and I saw her logging in to her account on the delivery app. I saw her password and jokingly tried logging in to her social media account infront of her. The password worked and we both had a laugh because of it working but because we had to do something else I forgot to log off.
The next morning I woke up and scrolled through said social media site, *thinking I was logged in on my account*, I saw I had a DM from someone and opened it. As I was still fuzzy from waking up and confused because I didn't know the person messaging me I did a quick scroll through the list of contacts to see if I was on the wrong account. This is where any trusting BF may stop and log off but my eyes came to rest on a message where she texted the dude saying stuff like "I love you❤❤❤"
This worried me and upon further inspection I saw that she started talking with the guy during one of our rough patches, telling him that he's the only one for her and even sexual talk.
I'm afraid to talk to her about it as it happened a while back and since then she's stopped talking to her. I just can't stop thinking about it and want to know if I'm in the wrong here
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
J3PiFAoMUYL4k1aIOHIHgAo7CYmD0chX
|
9zg8ue
|
{
"description": "not inviting family I don't like to Thanksgiving",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for not inviting family I don't like to Thanksgiving?
|
2 situations presented themselves to me.
I didn't want to invite my sister to Thanksgiving despite the rest of my immediate family coming up. I regularly bash heads with her and she regularly creates an atmosphere passive aggression and all around disingenuousness. She has consistently came to my town to see her boyfriend(4-5 hours from where she lives) and doesn't tell us or say hi but gives us flak for not catching up with her. She could go to Thanksgiving with her boyfriend instead. WIBTA for not inviting her?
I don't want to invite my Wife's Brother's Wife's Mother to Thanksgiving. She's a constant source of negativity, able to turn the mildest comment into some cospiritorial slight. She's got her good days but she's controlling and manipulative and her daughter is constantly guilted into appeasing her. We're fairly sure it's all the drugs she did in the 60's-80's that makes her be not her best self. My brother in law and his wife are good friends of ours and are coming but her mom is a terror. But she has no one else to be with for Thanksgiving. I don't even know if this should be part of the equation or if it's part of her manipulations by excluding herself from her other kids' plans or at least omiting her options. WIBTA for not inviting her?
I know I don't owe it to anyone to feed them and include them in an event, but one is family and the other is basically also family.
Bonus round: I did invite my sister, she's coming for dinner but going to her boyfriend's after, I'm glad this plan happened without her knowing I was iffy on her coming. And we left the decision to my BiL and his wife, they're the closest to her mother and will be able to best determine her state of mind for the day and whether she wants to handle the crowd. We are determined to be okay with their choice. I am fairly sure I was not the asshole in these situations but I'll leave it to the vote to see what come up.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
YNKh2JeBySPSM6uedbzZotCYu6B0T8Md
|
9vkmi2
|
{
"description": "keeping a signed guitar",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for keeping a signed guitar?
|
First of all, my family is pretty notable because my dad is a somewhat famous politician. I hate talking or telling people about it and usually don't even tell people so they don't judge me. I actually think I am pretty humble about it and am actually making a name for myself through basketball. But anyway my families been campaigning pretty hard to get my dad back in office and, one day, my family holds a raffle for an event, and that morning my mom wakes me up and tells me to wake my girlfriend up to sign a couple raffles on her way out the door. Me being super groggy, thinks why wake my girlfriend? I'll just quickly sign this with MY name and crash back out instead of waking her up. And what do you know, I win the Grand Prize of a signed guitar by my dad lol! It's funny and badass that it's signed by my dad, but my older brother who's actually been working pretty hard on the campaign aswell, texts me saying everyone agrees he should keep it because he's been one of the hardest workers, and I'm thinking 'Fuck that, if they thought that, why don't they just pitch in and grab him one?' And also, i was a little pissed they just gave it away right off the bat without saying anything to me. So they get back, and we're all checkin it out, and I just straight up say it, 'it's my guitar, I won it man.', and he goes 'we already agreed dude' and 'it's not even supposed to be yours, mom said tell *girlfriend* to sign it. It doesn't look good having his son participate in the family raffle, it's for the people.' I understood that last part, but completely spaced it out when I was filling them out that morning. But to be fair, I won it under MY name. He gives it to me kinda pissed. Then I tell my girlfriend, now she says it should be hers and she can give it to her brother who plays guitar. But then again, it was won under MY name. I was just as hopeful as any other raffle and genuinely felt pretty ecstatic to win the GRAND PRIZE. I definitely wasn't gonna give it up that easy. Tbf, I don't play guitar, but it's signed by my pops which is pretty dope, and sure as hell don't wanna give it up.
"money won, is a lot sweeter, than money earned.." -Dodgeball, 2004
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
WRONG
|
XwsfDzjgtNACHqIeJki3QvYe3N3cHApG
|
a7nan4
|
{
"description": "hitting my dad because he hit our family dog",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for hitting my dad because he hit our family dog?
|
FYI: On mobile. I’m sorry for any formatting issues.
Okay, so here’s what happened. My parents are a prime example of people who should never ever own dogs. They have a bad history of surrendering them and, yet, they keep getting more dogs. A few weeks ago, they told me they were getting a new puppy. I explained to them why this was a terrible idea, and they still got a dog (craigslist puppy, taken too early from mother, no vaccination record, all the red flags). I decided that, while I couldn’t do anything about their decision, I could love and train the puppy.
The puppy play-bites, like all puppies do. It’s a completely natural thing and one of the easiest things to anticipate a puppy doing. The problem is, my parents keep hitting the puppy when he bites. I’ve explained to them that it’s not constructive, harmful, etc... and provided better ways to teach the puppy. They wholeheartedly defend their decision to constantly hit the puppy on the nose.
Today, I once again began explaining thoroughly that it’s not the best way and I got fed up with their insistence that they would keep hitting the puppy, who doesn’t understand and can’t defend himself. He’s not an aggressive pup. He’s just teething and needs positive training. I popped my dad on the nose (no harm, right? according to them). It wasn’t enough to hurt, just enough to reinforce that he doesn’t like it either. Of course, he was pissed and I’m wondering AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
J7mmT31ktuzwEasmDroWNmBir2hsexQa
|
amx6vs
|
{
"description": "asking someone to leave my apt",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For asking someone to leave my apt?
|
Me and my roommate Sabom have the same friend group but varying intensities of friendship with each person. Sabom invited jake over but got drunk and according to his gf passed out. I invited Harold and Jorge who also don't particularly enjoy Jake. I go on to say "Sabom is passed out and I didn't invite you or plan on hanging with you so you might as well leave" everyone called me an asshole and he left in near tears. I feel I was justified as I hadn't planned on having to entertain him and find him a chore more than fun.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
d6RjHOZWLYLLuVmmEwwEhfmFd8xlIisp
|
awxgkp
|
{
"description": "wanting my stepson to know who is paying for his education",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my stepson to know who is paying for his education
|
My stepson is 8. I've been with his dad for 5 years, married for 1. I've been involved in my step son's life for 4 years. Last year, my step son was diagnosed with a learning disability that is not an insurmountable obstacle, but is bad enough that the specialist recommended a specialized school for him.
Between my husband, my stepson's mom, and me, we didn't make enough to afford the school. My parents offered to pay, and my husband and my stepson's mom agreed because it was best for my stepson. My parents are generous people and just came into a large amount of money from my grandmother's passing, which they have put away entirely to fund their grandchildren' education. They also live on the other side of the country, so we rarely see them, but when we do, they definitely take on a grandparent role with my stepson.
The thing is, my husband and his ex refuse to tell my stepson where the money for his education is coming from--ever. I don't think they need to tell him right now, but I think when he's older, it's unfair not to tell him that the reason he will graduate debt free from college is because of my parents' generosity. My step son's mom is open about the fact that she does not want him to know because she doesn't want her son to value my family's contribution over hers. My husband won't even engage with her over it, but I can tell he agrees with her and is uncomfortable with the difference in resources.
I'm not trying to do this so my stepson will like me more than his mom or anything like that, I just feel terribly for my parents because they aren't being recognized or thanked and never will be. On top of that, my stepson often asks why my parents don't come around very much and don't take him out and buy him gifts like his bio grandparents do, and it makes me so sad that he can't see what they're doing for him because they love him like they love their other grandkids.
My husband is refusing to engage with me about this and it's making me feel terrible. I know I'm just a step parent and not a bio parent, but it hurts me to see my family be treated like this. I just want my stepson to know one day so he can look back and understand that my parents love him much as they love their other grandkids. It's making me question how much my husband values me and how he sees me as a step mother. Am I wrong? Should I let it drop? I'm hurt but also very conflicted, because I want what's best for my stepson, but I also want my parents to feel appreciated.
AITA for wanting my stepson to know the truth, even though his bio parents don't agree?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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rnhNpqv21cmpWUliRv7s9NRjUzpd2HlO
|
9wtr96
|
{
"description": "I'm pissing at my Veteran husband for getting piss drunk on Veterans Day",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I'm pissed at my Veteran husband for getting piss drunk on Veterans Day (observed)
|
My husband is one of those veterans who feels uncomfortable when people thank him for his service and never takes advantage of veteran discounts, so yesterday he didn't feel a need to go to Applebee's for his free meal or hit up any other spots for a freebie. Since he had the day off, though, a haircut was in order. He kissed me and our 6-week-old baby goodbye, and off he went. Seven hours later he returns, very drunk, and passes out for a few to recoup.
He's a veteran and had the day off work, so why am I pissed? Because it was my first day back to work. Granted, I'm working from home right now, but I had to show up on my laptop and address issues, reply to emails, etc. On top of that, new baby was not in the mood to take a nap unless he was in someone's arms, which were mine because mine were the only ones available.
No call, no text to check in. Part of me feels like an asshole because he's a fucking veteran, deployed three times, lost friends to war, both during and after to suicide. He deserves to drink beers with his buddies and toast everything army-related, but I'm also at home with our baby trying to get some work done, feeling alone and overwhelmed. Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
VLoG5Dzc4c2LL7Yyjrnl3FF15t9V52nM
|
9wygob
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do shift swaps 4 weeks in advanced",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to do shift swaps 4 weeks in advanced?
|
I’ll try and give as much context as possible in the shortest amount of time, for the purpose of the story we’ll call the manager Cheesecake, because I feel like it and people usually give the person in their story a bland name.
SO after a small period of time working this job cheesecake began to move my shifts around to be different days than my contract (she does this with most people), we see the weekly timetable 4 weeks ahead so we have time to say no if we’re not able to do the swaps. I only work 3 days a week for short shifts, the main reason I have this job was to be flexible around my life and make sure I’m able to do most last minute plans that tend to pop up, often I had to say no just because I wasn’t sure if I’d be busy or not yet. I did however make it clear that IF I was free and they asked me first, I was fine doing overtime about a week or two in advanced.
Cheesecake starts swapping my stuff around a LOT, it gets a little bit stupid, I ask her if she’s able to stop doing that as I don’t want to keep having to say no and waste her time, explaining again that I’m happy to do overtime when I’m ABLE to etc to help out, Cheesecake does not take this well, is unhappy with me and claims I’m only willing to do things to suit me etc, conversation/argument ends in “fine, I’ll stick purely to your contracted hours and nothing else”, I try to remind her I’ll help when I can but Cheesecake doesn’t seem to care as she scribbles out my overtime.
Time passes, sure enough my days don’t get swapped, I’m also asked to do overtime a LOT less frequently and when I do ask I usually get turned down, at one point I watched them ask everyone in the isle except me to stay but whatever, it’s better than my contract being a mess.
Here’s where the problem pops up, you’re allowed to swap shifts with other colleagues here as long as you both consent to it and the hours covered/worked remain the same, I ask another manager (let’s call her Apple, why not), to swap a shift for me about a week in advanced as some last minute plans had come up, Apple swaps it for me and I figure that’s the end of it.
Next day, Cheesecake comes to speak to me and she is not happy, complains that I’d agreed to stick to my contract and now I’m swapping when it “suits me”, I explained to her yet again that I’m happy to swap when I’m able to and do overtime if she asks, she tells me it’s not about overtime, it’s about suiting the needs of the company etc. The argument here is “if you don’t suit the needs of the company why should we suit you?” which tbf isn’t a bad argument, except that my whole point that “I can only help when I’m able to” is being treated as “can only help when I feel like it”. This conversation goes around in circles to a bit, apparently the fact I’m willing to do overtime if she asks is irrelevant cause, despite me doing them a favour in that aspect, it’s not do with swapping so there for I’m not doing my bit. Conversation ends with “you know what, next time you have plans on a day you’re working move your life around work instead, you’re no longer allowed to swap”
I really don’t know if I’m in the wrong here, part of me wants to go to HR about it because (to my knowledge) I am the first/only person to be banned from swapping and this isn’t the first issue I’ve had with Cheesecake, there isn’t really a “business” reason for not allowing me to swap, it just effects me and the colleague I swap with, the hours get worked and it’s all fine. Other part of me thinks that because I’m unable to swap I’m bringing this all on myself/I deserve it, even though I’ve offered to help them any other way I can.
TL;DR: Manager wants me to swap shifts in advanced, I don’t know if I can that far in advanced so I say I can’t do them
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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6G2P0hMMMLyB9BTHsKdubOgpY2FJk4DH
|
ay69bc
|
{
"description": "sending my ex's best friend a gift",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sending my ex's best friend a gift?
|
2 years ago me (german) and my bf (korean) quit our around 1 year, long distance relationship. The breakup was messy, emotional and not clean at all. However we have had genuine feelings for each other and though it wasnt easy, we stayed sporadically in contact.
I visited him in Korea when we were still together and he introduced me to his best friends. I am and was very friendly with all 3 of them, though only one actually knew english decently enough to hold a conversation. He also is genuinely comfortable and funny to talk to, so we kept in contact even after I left Korea (which my ex was aware of) and developed a friendship ourselves.
When my ex and I broke up, my contact with his friends except for that one faded.
Recently my ex and I had a melancolic, yet friendly exchange and as per request i agreed to share more of my life with him.
Yesterday i told him that i was planning to send his friend a package per mail and that ive decided to include some small gift for himself and the friends I got to know during my visit all those years ago.
He flipped it.
He demanded to know if the friend i was sending it to, knew about the package. Ex then said that he intruduced me to his friend because he knew his friend wanted to have some foreign friends and that this kind of behaviour ( him not telling my ex earlier) is rude and not according to korean culture, basically implying that he did us a favour and that we now betrayed him.
Mind you, he knew that we have been in contact all the time, though.
He accused us of hiding the package-plans and we had a more and more escalating conversation.
I guess its something that they, as friends have to figure out themselves, but i was so embarassed that my friend got in trouble because of me not holding my tongue and also outraged that ex felt the right to tell me how to handle my friendships that i ragequit the conversation and cut my contact with him.
Im even more outraged that he cites "korean culture" as the reason for his reaction. Though I know enough Koreans to know, that its a totally individualistic choice to react in this kind of manner.
Culture or not, am i right so suspect that his behaviour is hysteric or am I actually an insensitive asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
zIJehdXeDQ3RDgtfZwhLnNsojzkDrGeu
|
araeds
|
{
"description": "wanting to divorce my transgender wife",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 39
}
|
AITA for wanting to divorce my transgender wife (I am a lesbian)?
|
So I made a throwaway account because I really don’t want my wife finding this. I am a lesbian (38F) who was raised by extremely homophobic parents. They were Catholics and would often lecture me on the dangers of homosexuality, banned me from seeing my gay friends, etc. When I was a teenager they caught me kissing my girlfriend at the time because I got careless and left my door open, and they immediately kicked her out of the house and would not let me see her any more.
Since then I’ve had to convince them that it was just a phase, otherwise I would be written out of the will and most likely disowned. I have no other family except my sister, but she’s 11 years younger than me and at the time would not have been able to help as she was still basically a child. So, I did something a bit regrettable. I married my best friend from high school. He was straight, which was a bit of a red flag, but at the time I didn’t really question it because we were very close and I would have done pretty much anything for him. The agreement was that our marriage would be completely platonic and for convenience’s sake, and that we could pursue relationships outside of it.
So 10 years pass, and in that time I get a girlfriend, who I’m still with to this day. She moved in with us, and wasn’t too happy about the situation, but got along well with my husband so she accepted him as a weird kind of roommate.
Then my husband comes out as transgender.
It was a huge shock, as she (I’ll be using she from now on) had never really discussed this with me before, or given me any indication that she didn’t identify as a guy. She’d always been quite masculine (not to stereotype) and was into typical male things like football. Again, I don’t mean to be transphobic here at all, I’m just emphasising my point at how much I didn’t see this coming. Anyway, she tells me that she wants to start transitioning, which is a bit of a problem because my parents would not accept that. I suggested that it might be a good idea for us to get divorced now, but for some reason she refused. This was the point when I started to realise that she might have actual romantic feelings for me. She’d never really shown interest in finding anyone else, and often wanted to do things like cuddle with me, even kiss me on the cheek and things like that, but I’d always thought that was because we were such close friends. Anyway, I tried to insist, but she told me that my safety means more to her than transitioning. I think this is ridiculous and I don’t want to let her do that, because dysphoria is no joke. I think she’s hoping that I’ll magically become attracted to her and want to be together for real, but that just isn’t going to happen. I only see her as a friend. I want what’s best for her, which I believe is for us to divorce so she can get on with her life, but I feel bad forcing her into that when she’s done so much for me.
AITA???
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
yUv8QvVYVccpZ4rIOnhiuOt2HDi64PYC
|
apvgsm
|
{
"description": "wearing short sleeves in public",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for wearing short sleeves in public?
|
So, a couple of months ago I went through a really tough spot in life, and I started self-injuring, which mainly consisted of cutting myself. I don't know why I did it but I'm trying really hard to get over it now, but even though I haven't cut in a while I still have the scars on my forearms, and I don't know how long they'll take to fade.
So, here's my question: would I be an asshole for wearing short sleeves which expose the scars in public? I know that people don't want to see them, and they're kind of obvious if you even take a glance at my arm. I know seeing the scars could be a trigger in some people, and make them feel really uncomfortable, or worse it could be traumatic for other self-harmers to see them. On the other hand, it reaches 100+ degrees where I live in the summer, and I don't want to be wearing long-sleeve shirts through all of that.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
yQr0fO7P8RuV4YQSUw2iswU6OEiQ2voY
|
b05993
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to a full-moon party alone while I'm in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting to go to a full-moon party alone while I'm in a relationship?
|
So for context: I (33M) live in a city with crappy weather, and with my new work contract I negotiated for a pretty liberal remote-work policy specifically so I could spend time in sunny places during the cold, rainy months.
So to test out this plan, I've been planning a trip to Thailand for the next couple weeks. My girlfriend(29M) has been mostly supportive, if a little bit jealous that I would get to go somewhere awesome and sunny while she's unable to join. She has to work, and she's still in the probationary period with her new job so she can't take vacation at the moment. We do have plans to go somewhere really beautiful together in September when her probationary period ends.
So that vibe changed this morning: I was researching my itinerary, and while watching videos about Thailand I found out that there's this island there where they do this huge party for every full-moon. It would fit into my dates, so I told my girlfriend that this was something I wanted to do.
When I told her this, she got kind of cold on the whole thing. I can tell by the tone of her voice that she's clearly against the idea, and she told me "just do whatever you want" where before she was sort of positive about the whole trip. She also told me she's disappointed that I still want to do go to a party like that "at my age".
I think maybe I am too old for it, but at the same time when I'm traveling I try to be open to experiences, and not to worry about how I might be judged doing something because basically I won't ever see those people again. Also I feel like if I'm a little too old for it now, if I don't go this trip then that will become more and more of an issue since I'm not getting any younger, so I partially feel like this is the time to go or chances are I not get another opportunity, which is something I could regret later.
So am I the asshole for wanting to go, or am I being selfish for wanting to go to a massive, debauched party without my GF?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
clU3ZvN3QJqsVqyvJHU4grp2v6lfsEj8
|
9uj1ok
|
{
"description": "telling off and cutting my friend out of my life after she stole from me, lied about me and got back with an abusive partner",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling off and cutting my friend out of my life after she stole from me, lied about me and got back with an abusive partner?
|
So me and this person have been friends for almost a decade. we've done a lot of friends stuff together. movies, sleepovers when we were younger, road trips, etc.
Anyhow, things began to get bad when my local newspaper that I work hired Amy to work under me. things were okay for a while until she started ditching me to hang out with her new partner, leaving me to take photos and write for the paper. because she was a friend and it would look bad on me, I said nothing to anyone but her in private.
She then told me her partner was emotionally and a physically abusive to her. she showed me messages he sent, pictures of bruises, very troubling stuff. and I helped her break up with him. he know me enough to know my number and would call me and I would either ignore it or conjure some excuse. they got back together and she started ghosting again. for 4 days, she made no effort to communicate and kept her phone off.
Finally she messagged me telling me that she told her boyfriend everything we said in private and that she was cutting me out of her life. To better their relationship then after I got angry, she ignored me only to message me a few days later saying that he read our messages and made her write that. we met in private because she didn't want to leave any cyber trail, and she told me she was going to get a restraining order on him and move back with her family. but he had stolen her money before she left. so I gave her $500 to go to her parents(they live on the other side of the country).
However as soon as she leaves, I noticed the camera for work is gone. suddenly she blocked me on everything and my friend tells me that they were still together. I finally caved and told the newspaper what it happen and managed to keep my job, but I had to buy back the camera and it's expensive lenses. so now I'm down $2,000. People keep telling me that she saying I was lying to her and Incredibly controlling and blackmailed her into sexual stuff over her job and when she refused, I got her terminated. Those lies hurt more than anything. I lost several good friends because of this.
That was a month ago. a few days ago a strange number kept calling me, I thought it was a robo caller until I noticed that they kept calling a lot more frequent. I answered the phone and it was her. she said she wanted to talk to me in private and I said no and hung up. and that brings us to Friday, I came home to find her in front of my house begging to talk to me. I told her I had nothing to say to her and that I know about all the lies. she tried countering and saying she was sorry and she wants me and her boyfriend in her life. that she knows he's abusive but he cares for her and is trying to get help for his temper.
She tried to apologize as I tried to unlock my door. as I'm getting inside, she catches the door and attempts to get into the house and lost it. I started screaming at her to get out. after a bit to collect myself. I told her I'd had enough. I said something like "you lied to me, stole money and a camera off me. I want you to remember how scared he made you feel the first time he punched you and you deserve it the next time it happens because you're still with him", I slammed the door. she tried knocking a bit without saying anything and then she left. Haven't heard from her since
I shouldn't have said that last part but I'm not going to apologize or say another thing to her. She's done so much to me in the past couple of months that that would just open another way for her to continue this cycle. She's cut contact with most of her friends, she doesn't talk to her parents and I've told them the basis of what's going on but won't go into detail. I do care for her but I tried to help and she stabbed me in the back.
TL;DR: friend I work with tells me partner is abusive, lies to get money off me to leave him, steals my work camera, gets back with him, then attempts to come back into my life and I snap and tell her off in the worst way possible.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
LP6Dxoch5a2ipUWtKIcR6XmFlOG2SWzW
|
b6uz7s
|
{
"description": "not being able to reciprocate my 'best friend's' affection towards me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being able to reciprocate my 'best friend’s' affection towards me.
|
I struggle with showing and understanding emotions so I can come across as pretty cold. I’m friends with a girl who thinks of me as her best friend. We talk almost everyday despite me moving away, and still meet up. She knows how I am and supposedly knows how I feel even if I don’t show it. She’s a really kind person and I’d do anything for her, so now I’m wondering if I should make more effort to show affection. I say this because she’s really cuddly. Like she’ll come sit on my lap or link my arm while we’re walking, that kind of stuff, and I just kinda stand there like an idiot trying to figure out what to do, which she finds hilarious. So considering how much she means to me am I an asshole for not being 'affectionate'?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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