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SA02OVsdHIfiQdtGtnpBHgMjlr4KlIUe
|
b14v7b
|
{
"description": "telling my ex I'm seeing someone new",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my ex I'm seeing someone new?
|
I (26F) broke up with my ex (26M) 6 months ago. He was the nicest person and respectful and always meant well. And things ended very amicably. Since then, my ex will text me periodically and send me memes and messages on Facebook. I have told him before that I thought it was better to not talk that much, and I feel like ex half-respected that. He would text maybe once a week, and send memes almost everyday (it slowed down to every other day). In the last few months, I started dating someone new.
​
I felt weird that my ex was still contacting me even though it was about neutral topics (we never discussed our relationship or anything sexual and I stuck to relatively short responses or I wouldn't respond at all). I felt like I couldn't tell my new boyfriend about my ex because I didn't want to unnecessarily worry him. And I felt weird about telling my ex I was seeing someone new because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Fast-forward to today, I finally sent a message to my ex explaining that I had recently started seeing someone new and I didn't know if I should tell him, but I thought he should know.
​
He immediately blocked me on social media. While I feel relieved that I don't have to feel guilty for getting messages anymore, I can't help but feel like the asshole. Maybe I could've handled the situation better? I'm really not sure. What do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
douDVvska5Cj0wu7cCAP1qDtfr4mxFY7
|
am3cra
|
{
"description": "never wanting to see my father again",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For never wanting to see my father again
|
So at the time of posting this I'm 15 and I haven't seen my father in almost 3-4 years
My father was a controlling person and would beat me harshly over the smallest of things, once it was for accidentally dropping a remote on the carpet i was maybe 7?
I lived with him since my parents divorced whne I was about 1 and the abuse was continuous until I finally had the guts to say I didn't want to be with him, the last straw was when he tried to drown me, I was underwater in our backyard pool for at least a minute with him holding me down, he did this because I threw a toy pool ball and it hit the brick wall.
He has caused me to deal with mental problems such as PTSD and having a crippling fear of swimming.
But during that time my father's father had died and he recently found out he had Depression and Bipolar disorder, and he had another son who is my stepbrother.
I feel like the asshole because he had these underlying problems and maybe he didn't mean it? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XAbi3Z2XKjsoX58UhpGUmIv9EVHbxnax
|
aw9eem
|
{
"description": "asking someone to respect our plans",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking someone to respect our plans?
|
Hi, reddit. I became friends with this girl about a month and a half ago. I really like her, she’s super fun to be around and we have a good time. When we first started hanging out, she would honor plans and usually stick to them, but lately she hasn’t. I have reached out to hang out with her multiple times and she has said she can, but then on the last minute bails. This has happened 3-4 times. Every time she does this I see on social media she is hanging out with another person. The last time it happened we had plans to hang out with a mutual friend, who also has noticed this pattern. Me and the mutual friend were at my house when we get a text from her saying that we should just go do something without her and that she is busy. I was a little stoned at the time so I said “Ok, see you later I guess” which I admit was passive aggressive. The next day I shoot her a text apologizing for the comment and let her know how both me and the mutual friend feel, and she replies with something like “No, I love you guys! I’m not flaking it’s just sometimes things happen. We should make plans soon!” At this point I’m frustrated, so I respond with “It seems like you are always hanging out with someone else when you cancel” and she said “I just go with whatever happens, I don’t know why people get mad when I don’t hang out with them.” Then, I say something to the affect of “Because we have plans and we’re excited to see you, how do you think it makes us feel when we have plans and then we see you hanging out with someone else?” and then I never got a reply. Maybe my virgo is coming out but this is one of my top pet peeves because I think it’s rude and inconsiderate of her. Am I the asshole?
Thanks for reading my petty social problems.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
lXXdiyGJTrImoy0u4VqnOAw42u0PWfjW
|
b4d8lv
|
{
"description": "not eating \"home cooked\" food at a pot luck",
"pronormative_score": 184,
"contranormative_score": 328
}
|
AITA for not eating "home cooked" food at a pot luck?
|
So every month or so at work my colleagues will bring in their homemade food and everyone will eat and pat each other on the back about the various food. Now I usually come up with an excuse to get out of eating, but I will bring in cookies or drinks to "contribute", and it had worked up until today. My co-workers basically confronted me about how I never eat because I'm "too good for their food" and other ridiculous peer pressure tactics and wouldn't leave it alone. So I straight up told them something like, "I don't know how you live, you could have roaches. You could have pets that you pet then go back to cooking, and I've personally seen a few of you leave the bathroom without washing your hands. It's not just your food I don't eat anyone's food unless I know their sanitary standards." Then I proceeded to read the TSB on my laptop. I glanced up and everyone was staring at me like I just said the most offensive thing they've ever heard. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 217,
"OTHER": 172,
"EVERYBODY": 111,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 184,
"WRONG": 328
}
|
WRONG
|
XSYMWpKA52V0YxbZqTNRK0lqdbI6pT4X
|
aszoq0
|
{
"description": "demanding some space from my mom",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for demanding some space from my mom?
|
So I'm 27 years old. Today i got into a pretty big fight with my girlfriend and i thought we were about to end our relationship. Long story short we only have one car so my girlfriend drives me to work for my shift and my mom comes over to watch our 3 month old daughter so we don't have to drag her out of the house too.
Shortly after it looked like the fight (and us) was over, my mom texted me something about her daughter. I responded that i didn't need her to come over because my girlfriend and i weren't together anymore and i wasn't going to work. My mom immediately calls me twice then starts texting me, sending me multiple texts in a row about how i need this job for my daughter, as if i forgot i have responsibilities.
As calmly as i could, i told her "Please stop, this isn't helping right now". She responded with more of the same; "Think of your daughter!"
Me:"I need you to stop when I'm upset"
Followed by five texts in 2 minutes about how i need to do this for my daughter. I called her and tried explaining to her that i was very angry and needed her to leave me alone and she proceeds to start saying "That's fine sweetie but you-" so i hung up and texted her so i didn't yell at her, reiterating not to come over tonight.
Again, another text about my daughter, followed by "Am i coming over?" And"??????"
I sent back about ten No's. Another text from her and i said "I'm going to ask you one more time. I need you to stop". She apologises, tells me she loves me...
... Then says "Seriously your daughter needs you"
At this point, i lost my shit, texting back in all capitals that i need her to stop and i don't understand why she can't just listen to me. She sends back "Wow... Loud and clear..."
... And then ten minutes later "For the last time, that little girl needs you!"
I sent back a text asking her not to contact me for a couple days and that I'm baffled that she cannot listen to what i ask of her or respect me as an adult (long history of her still treating me like I'm 13). After this, i turned off text notification for her.
Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qDNNtHD1mmWC6zGjPLK2y3kq57WKRtro
|
b6djqd
|
{
"description": "continuing to buy paper towels even tho my roommate hates them",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for continuing to buy paper towels even tho my roommate hates them?
|
my one roommate wants me to stop buying paper towels because he says they're bad for the environment. I don't think I use an excessive amount of paper towel, I usually use it when microwaving stuff like bacon or for picking cat puke up off the floor. when I said I'm going to keep buying it he stared getting a little annoying about it, asking me over and over again and pouting a bit when I would say no. he said that I'm a hypocrite because I asked our other roommate to use the recycling. I didn't do it for any ecological reasons (tho helping the environment is definitely a bonus. I mostly asked because I'm the one who takes out the garbage and we'd fill up a big garbage bag at least twice a week and it was annoying. am I being a hypocrite? I feel like I'm kinda mad because he keeps telling me to how to live my life but I guess that's kinda what I did to my other roommate.
TLDR: eco-roomie wants us to stop using paper towel and won't let it go
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
U0qDaigktxA83gDHZwk6rkZ3o5kHmgPU
|
a3evc5
|
{
"description": "calling an ambulance",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For calling an ambulance?
|
Hold on to your butts.
Last weekend I went to a local Christmas Festival with family that I hadn't seen in a long time. We were there for the food and fireworks from Noon until about 8pm and afterwards went back home.
Because we felt we left early, we started a good fire in the burn pit and called over some friends from the festival. Immediately I knew something was off.
The couple shows up, they've been married for 10 years, and the guy who has been drinking since noon, now has a bottle of Vodka and is drinking it straight. No one else is drinking like this as we're all just having simple mix drinks like crown and coke.
The guy is 30yo, maybe 6ft and an easy 245lbs and he is going at that bottle. At one point he went to piss and his wife actually poured a little out of the bottle. I later asked for some, just to empty the bottle a bit, but it was no use.
He gets to the point that he stands up to walk into the house, loses balance and falls, barely stopping himself from face-planting. I see it as it happens and try to get to him. Well he doesn't get back up, he didn't hit his head, but obviously he was only barely conscious prior to falling because of the alcohol, and the fall was the breaking point.
So we carry him inside and lay him on a bed. We didn't just leave him, but stayed there and made sure he didn't roll off the bed, made sure he was on his side in case he puked, waited until he did, but he wouldn't stop rolling around, so we put him on the floor and he fell asleep.
At this point, it's 1am and everyone is tired so we go to sleep. Well an hour later his wife wakes me up and says she needs help. I ask why and she responds, "He shit himself."
It was at this point I noped the fuck out and called 911 because that was above my pay grade. His wife was mad because now they have to pay an ambulance bill and for everything for the hospital. Her argument is that it should have been her decision, since she is his wife.
My argument is that at that point, he was spitting dry, had shit himself, was still not coherent, and I wanted to sleep. I recognized he needed fluids and professional help. I've had *some* first aid training, and I've taken care of people who were black out drunk before, but I was not prepared for this.
So, should I have let the wife decide when to call 911, or was I right to make a judgement call that he needed professional help. Alcohol poisoning is serious and I didn't want to risk it.
Tldr: Man gets so drunk he shits himself, wife is mad I called 911 against her wishes.
Bonus content: While at the hospital he started saying another girls name and saying he loved the other girl while still drunk as a skunk.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Kit6CHBbMwpX11dP7Q5xKDH6qZAxbMG1
|
9toa5s
|
{
"description": "letting drivers think they can cut in at an off-ramp and then not letting them cut in",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for letting drivers think they can cut in at an off-ramp and then not letting them cut in?
|
Detailed version: When I am driving in heavy traffic, it pisses me off when I am approaching an exit and I queue up in the right lane to exit. Undoubtedly, car after car will zip past me in the next lane to my left, and then try to squeeze in right at the exit, like their time is more important than everyone else's time. They saw traffic was backed up. They just zipped past a quarter mile of cars lined up to exit, and squeezed in right at the ramp. So here is the question: AITA for leaving room for a car to pull in as I approach the exit ramp, and when someone tries to cut in at the last minute, I quickly close the gap and force them to miss the exit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
q0YT0hbvlZPeXg1NbSMAnAYsEXXr6aVE
|
9tt3gk
|
{
"description": "wanting my roommate's boyfriend who's here 24/7 to chip in on utilities",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my roommate's boyfriend who's here 24/7 to chip in on utilities?
|
Hi AITA. I’m having a situation with my roommates and would really appreciate some outside perspective on this.
​
I moved in with two friends in August. I wouldn’t say ‘friends’ as much as they were ‘acquaintances’ - one I really had never hung out with; the other I hung out with a few times. Granted, I’m VERY introverted and find socializing really draining. Usually I enjoy just chilling by myself. Still, we were friendly.
​
Right off the bat there were some things that I addressed. One of my roommates would leave dishes in the sink for over a week at a time. She would overfill the trash can and then just start piling up trash next to it. She was being really careless with some of my belongings and was damaging/breaking them. She left water in her rice cooker & it started to grow mold. There was an open (but empty) chicken cutlet package face down on the floor one day. One time the garbage bag broke and made a puddle on the kitchen floor because she tried stuffing so much in it - rather than saying something or cleaning it up, she just left it & I ended up stepping in it. So I tried to address this all as gently as possible because it was getting to the point where I couldn’t use the kitchen & the kitchen always smelled like death. Generally, it was received okay-ishly, but I still felt like an annoying hall monitor.
​
Some other important backstory: when we moved in, we thought we’d have equal rooms. But one of the rooms had a terrible window (it faces a cement wall and never gets any sunlight). So we agreed that the two with good windows would pay $25 more on their rent and the one with the bad window would pay $50 less on her rent.
​
Over the past two months, the girl with the bad window has essentially moved her boyfriend into the apartment. He sleeps here every night. Eats here. Cooks here. Sits at the kitchen table and chairs (that I brought - they brought pretty much no supplies/common area furniture) and studies here alone. Etc. And my other roommate’s boyfriend basically lives here also.
​
We have a utility bill each month. So, now that this has been happening for at least two months, I floated in the group chat that I’d like their guests to pay a portion of the utility bill. This would be a pretty small amount, probably $5-10/month. Whether this is reasonable or not I don’t know… but they certainly don’t think so.
​
Tonight I heard her (bad window roommate) basically ranting about me to my other roommate and my other roommate’s boyfriend. They all participated in the discussion. Couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying, but here are a few things I picked up on: since her window is shitty, she’s depressed and having the guy around makes her feel better; I’m always in the apartment (I’m pre-med and study pretty much exclusively in my apartment because I have IBS and feel most comfortable when I have access to a bathroom - but they don’t know that), so that makes up for their increased utilities from their guests.
​
My view: it’s just common courtesy to communicate with roommates if you plan on having someone else sleep in the apartment. They never even gave a heads-up that these guys would be around all the time and sleeping here. And I pay a rent and utilities each month to have access to an apartment 24/7. How many of those 24 hours I spend in the apartment is irrelevant (and frankly, none of their business) because I pay my fair share. These guys pay nothing. Still - I do realize that it’s nice to be home alone every now and then, so the past few weeks I’ve been making an effort to use the library as a study spot instead.
​
Right now I’m kind of just so pissed and frustrated. I feel like this (bad window) girl is just so immature to think that she’s entitled to have a guy basically living at our apartment without running it by anyone just because she has a bad window. I want to go back to $800/month in rent, tell them they can’t use my expensive items (kitchen table and chairs especially - one of which the bad window girl took into her room for her desk without asking), and maybe keeping separate trash. And we can continue splitting the utilities 3 ways. I'm pissed as I'm writing this though.
​
Am I completely wrong here? AITA?
​
**TLDR:** Long history of having to be the ‘hall monitor/bitch’ roommate because my one roommate is unhygienic/inconsiderate. Roommate thinks she’s entitled to have a guy living at the apartment because the lack of sunlight in her room makes her depressed. I floated him paying $5-10/month on the utilities. Now everyone hates me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
91a1AKnKxsbSq4KNLSrnT6VZwA9eMkjc
|
awjwau
|
{
"description": "lying to my friend about my crush's gender",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I lied to my friend about my crush's gender?
|
I'm a girl and I'm bi. I have recently fallen for one girl and it's been on my mind a lot. I am unfocused and I have my head in the clouds.
Now, I have a good friend that is a very devoted Christian. She is not the kind of Christian that hates anyone, she believes in love. Nonetheless, I don't know what's her opinion on the LGBT community. I'm afraid that even if she accepts me, she may be more reserved towards me.
She noticed that I've been behaving differently and she made me tell her that I have a crush. I thought it was safe to just tell her that I like someone, but she's pushing for more information.
Should I tell her that it's a girl? I can't ask her now about her opinion on LGBT cause she'll know that it's connected. I'm afraid what's her reaction gonna be like. Should I tell her that I'm bi? Would I be an asshole if I lied to her that it's a boy?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
8rSEZWFFzADgeMX7bz819PqJg1kW5kWI
|
axvcfr
|
{
"description": "not wanting to rush moving",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to rush moving?
|
My husband and I are living in California where my family lives and his family was originally from. And he wants us to move to New Mexico where his family lives. He is currently finishing up his bachelor's degree and wants to move as soon as he finishes. Which only gives us less than a month to pack if we don't renew our rental lease.
Some background, when my husband was 16 his parents left him to finish highschool because he was set to be valedictorian. So they left him in California while they moved to New Mexico. They left him to sleep on couches at friends houses until he eventually ended up living with some of my family members. They basically abandoned him with no financial support in a different state. Though there were reasons it was still shitty to abandon your kid. My husband ended up getting a full ride scholarship to a university and has been going since he graduated highschool.
Fast forward 4 years later and my husband calls them every week. They constantly say how much they miss him and want him back there with them. They never ask how school is going and what struggles and stresses he goes through. It's always "when are you going to be finished with school so you can come back here". But, when we visit them or they visit they act like he doesn't exist. They would rather sit around and watch TV than visit with my husband.
My husband and I were talking about what is going on to happen after he graduates. And he still wants to move I believe his main reason for wanting this is due to his parents constantly pressuring him to do so and not by his own free will.
We have good jobs in California, no jobs in New Mexico and no reason to drop everything and uproot our lives. It isn't that I'm against moving it's just that I don't want to rush for no reason other than to be closer to his family. I would rather attempt to get our affairs in order before we move instead of rushing. I feel like he is forcing me to leave because he is being pressured by his family and not standing up for himself.
But am I the asshole for thinking that we should wait to move? Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Rv7xsouc76iVL5cI42FLwvuPaHzR1EJD
|
b4dr7q
|
{
"description": "not spending family time with my ex and her kids anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA If I cant spend family time with my ex and her kids anymore?
|
My Ex has 3 kids, two older ones from a previous relationship, and our son.
We had a messy break up (she cheated...tons of unresolved issues) yet she and the older two boys want to spend family time together regularly. I love the boys like they are my own. They basically are, I was their father figure for 6 years of their 8-9 years of life. My 3 year old also can’t begin to understand why daddy mommy and his brothers can’t spend every day together anymore.
Anyway she suggested that we spend time together with the boys, which was fine but the wounds are still fresh. It killed me to realize that I can’t have that sense of family every day because of her selfishness/dishonesty.
I’m feeling a litany of emotions right now and I really just want to tell her that we can’t do it anymore, but I feel like it’s selfish because it should be for the kids.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yJ9PIiDeiUZLAUlPWX8s6l4wWLs7HEQb
|
b5losh
|
{
"description": "picking my Husband's Acne",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA For Picking My Husband's Acne? (Probably TMI)
|
This is the most trivial of trivial matters, but one that we've been going around and around on for the past eleven years. I'd like some impartial third-party input.
My husband has occasional acne flareups. I've asked him to go to a dermatologist, but he always puts it off. In the meantime, he's living with me - a compulsive picker. I see a zit, and I just have to pop it. When he gets a bad flareup, I feel a bit like a stalker; I find every excuse to come up behind him when he has his shirt off, and when he's lying on his stomach, I can't help but run my hand up his back and start picking.
Obviously, this behavior annoys him.
Now, I'm convinced that it's my right to pick on him because he's refusing to see a doctor, and is thus knowingly tempting my obsession. He thinks I need to knock it off, because of course, it's irritating to him. I should mention that he doesn't mind me popping the big ones, and he'll often ask me to, but I just can't help myself. I'm almost always scraping at his back.
Now that I type it out, I think I know that I'm being the asshole, here. But I'd like you to weigh in. AITA? Or am I completely justified, here? I feel like I'm doing him a favor by cutting down on the acne.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
fPHWnOg0CLFwmO4UcXDMthvMKslXY2K1
|
a0441m
|
{
"description": "not doing the dishes",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not doing the dishes?
|
My wife and I have an existing agreement. She hates doing dishes and I hate cleaning bathrooms so when we were newly weds I proposed the following agreement:
I will never make her do the dishes if she never makes me clean the bathroom.
She agreed, and we've been happy.
However, I'm currently struggling with more depression and anxiety than I ever have and I'm coming apart at the seams. She knows this and asked if there was anything she could do to help. I told her I am having a hard enough time keeping myself safe at work (I deal with a ton of tiny sharp things) that I don't think I can handle doing the dishes right now.
I meant, but didnt say: can they wait til another day? However, when I came home from work the dishes were in the dishwasher.
I feel like I'm the asshole because I broke our agreement by not doing them and so she did them. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
6L4qzSoQ11atc0GJgYvc8w1zaaYV7ZFx
|
a0foac
|
{
"description": "being a drunken smartass",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For being a drunken smartass?
|
So reddit is probably not the best advice resource but i'm done asking for friends advice. Here's the background i met this girl in my college club, she was chill, we have a number of mutual interest and we later end up hitting it off. We spend the entire week hanging with each other, she comes over to my place, we smoke, she is vibing with me and all seems well. I feel a strong connection but not too invested. Anyway we make plans to meet up on friday(further context she wanted to repay me for something by smoking me out on friday but i ran into her two days earlier so we hung out then) but i thought it was off since we had already smoked before. But she text me asking what am i doing? i ignore it due to the fact she had ignored my previous text the day before after replying to the previous text before that one and not wanting to seem to desperate.
As i'm walking to my next meeting, i happen to run into her and she of course ask if i got her text, i say no, she ask if i'm doing anything i say no and she bypasses me visibly upset so i ask her what she is doing and she says nothing. I tell her text me after 1 when i'm done with my meeting(she assumes this means she can come over later), we end up meeting again around 1 and she says she will be over after 3pm. I readily agreed despite being completely unprepared(apartment is not clean enough, no food in the fridge etc basically i was struggling) but i run home get everything nice, she comes over. She is vibing and dancing, but we quickly hit a road block she wants to watch a movie or play a game, my xbox live is off at the time, which is cool for me i was busy playing rdr2 which she has but doesnt want to play because spoilers and i didn't have netflix due to some other issues. I did have amazon prime but none of the horror films she wanted to watch were available, finally she tells me to look up youtube vids and she plays on her phone.
So at this point her jackets back on, she is on the couch but i'm in the chair away from her and it's not going well. She however ask me to come with her to pick up some weed, from her ex room mate/guy she thinks is madly in love with her/suburban plug i agree but she has severe anxiety issues and i make the smart decision to make an offhanded comment about her driving ability(to be fair her turns did scare me) and where did she learn to drive which she took offensively. Que long spiral of annoyance, her yelling at me to just stop talking, other issues and eventually me getting kicked out of her car. She brought me back home, apologized for yelling, i got all into my drake feelings and said it's cool in hopped out. So at this point our chill session is a flaming hellhole of disaster, i basically call it quits on the entire thing and just try to go full relaxation with her hoping when she gets back maybe i can salvage it. She came back because i invited her to a house party later that night, we smoke a blunt, play a little music but i can tell from her general vibe she is done with me and vice versa her attention is nominally on my room mate and I'm a after thought.
I accept this and focus on the party ahead. So we roll up to the party with drinks and weed, her and my room mate don't know anybody(neither do i) so they crowd around me as i make my way into the kitchen and luckily run into some fellow club presidents from the school i had literally met the day before but they show me love. I immediately get into the right state of mind and pull out drinks to start mixing. She ends up downstairs smoking weed for the night talking to this pothead(really cool guy), i end up getting wasted and becoming shot bros with every one, my room mate gets the wall flower treatment(which is shitty on my part, i should have tried to chaperone him more effectively but i didn't know anyone at the party and i was too drunk at that point to introduce him people, plus he was not smoking or drinking so i had no avenues open to get him into the right mood) and i end up taking weird drugs for the first time ever and having a lot of fucking fun. Which later turns into me being a drunken asshole apparently according to the people i brought with me, i end up getting in her face about some weed, which she says i tried to take out of her hand, i was aggressive, asked her to drunkenly dance with me and some other bullshit. Oh i also apparently whined or cried like a bitch to a couple people at the party about "relationship issues" which she caught ear of and put me further on her shit list.
I also said i would never fuck her, called her by a different girls name, said the girl who invited me was awesome and totally dtf which i forgot how but it led to me saying i would never fuck her. I then spent like 30 minutes drunkenly yelling at my room mates door trying to cock block him, out of a deep insecurity he would make a move on her(he didn't he is totally uninterested in her but i was drunk so eh) and finally he told her to sleep in his room. Which i should've done but i fucked up. So she spends the night, the next day she still wanted to hang over and smoke but she did not have a lighter. I apologized, but i also denied the extent of me being a drunken asshole to them both. I sent a apology meme which was hilarious, she has since been ignoring me for about a week or two now. I saw her once since then but quickly looked away, not sure if she saw me or not, positive she did and maybe she is mad even more because she thought i ignored her idk. Anyway i have come to the conclusion yes i was being an asshole but i did send a heartfelt apology. Maybe i don't deserve forgiveness but i'm desperately thinking about calling her and i just need some advice. Should i?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
QUCl4CEmfcYEuM6Kocv5r8KYoPa76a8x
|
awyp6a
|
{
"description": "getting mad at a friend that applies for the same jobs as me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA For getting mad at a friend that applies for the same jobs as me?
|
This post is more for my roommate since it was the job he applied for but here's the backstory. I have two roommates we will refer to them as Chip and Dale. Chip, Dale and I are all about to graduate college this semester and are applying for jobs. Chip and Dale are the same major and have many classes together. For the last year or so whenever Dale would apply to internships and jobs, Chip would go and apply for the same jobs, sometimes even without telling Dale. It was not too much of an issue before because neither would usually get these jobs/internships. Recently Dale told us about this job that he really wants and how it's one of the only jobs he's applied for that he can really see himself doing. Chip then went and applied that same day, which was also the deadline for the application. A few weeks pass and Dale finds out that he didn't make it to the next round of interviews. Chip on the other hand found out that he's getting flown into their headquarters for an interview and chose to gloat in front of Dale. Dale does know what to think of Chip applying to jobs that he is applying for. I think that since Chip and Dale are the same major from the same school, just with different GPAs, Chip's application directly affected Dale's. Also he should not be competing with his friends for employment. WIBTA for freaking out at him about this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
WRONG
|
0S9t8feWA371nD30832WJTXLRsFnkM2L
|
avzv0q
| null |
AITA. My husband thinks Momo is real and is mad at me for not believing him.
|
Okay so yesterday my husband is made aware of momo. For those who don't know what it is, it's a creepy face that pops up in the middle of children's videos and tells kid to either kill themselves, or hurt somebody or do something bad. My husband says that he saw it six months ago and saw a video about it being true.
My nine-year-old was very upset about it it was all they was talked about it school today. So I did some research and everything I can find online and so is that Momo is a hoax. There is literally no proof of it. All there is is a screenshot of the creepy face with either audio added afterwards or subtitles added to the bottom of the screen.
I told my husband and he gets very mad at me and tells me that I should believe him because six months ago he saw the video. I said honey everything online says it's not true can you find a video showing me that it is? Then he gets really upset and says I'm calling him a liar because I don't believe that its real.
So he storms out and then text me that he doesn't want to talk about it anymore because he can't believe his wife is calling him a liar.
Now my husband is one of those that seems to think he knows quite a lot, the men in his family seem to always be right and know everything. But my problem is that I'm allowed to question things and do my own research, if my husband tells me his opinion on something he has intimate knowledge of maybe car parts or something that he does. I believe him but he has no credibility on whether momo was a hoax or not. What does he have to backup other than he thinks he saw something 6 months ago and it's real.
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for proof when everything that I can find says it's not real and it's only his word that it's real. Am I the a****** maybe if I show him this you might get through to him. Or maybe I'm in the wrong
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
ss3uy9f2zpKtGWBkAY2XXxxJgmdjJ03B
|
ax1any
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend to stop trying to help me run my own business",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend to stop trying to help me run my own business?
|
I’m self-employed with an online business and very much DIY. I’m not an expert at everything, but I’m a quick learner when it comes to, say, doing my own graphic art or editing my own podcasts. It may not be the most polished job, but it does the trick.
My boyfriend loves tech and I used to say some things in passing like “someday when I get the time I’ll learn how to use this camera” or “it would be cool to animate my logo in the future” but I’ve stopped saying that around him because he will drop everything to help me do it, or just do it for me.
Problem is, it’s just not a high priority right at that time, or I don’t want him wasting precious time (he’s in med school and he barely has time as it is). If I catch him doing these projects for me, it makes me feel awful that he’s not using that time for better things — his parents already hate me (unrelated reasons; they’re racist and they want him to be with another doctor) and think I’m a distraction and waste of time, when in reality I’ve been trying to respect his space and give him as much time to study as possible.
Today we finally had an argument about him needing to “fix” everything — he always has suggestions for how I can improve my business or little things here and there. I will hear him out but usually “no thanks, it’s not a big deal/not a priority/I don’t have the time” and he will interpret that as “you just do it for me” and he’ll drop everything to help. I don’t want his help. And oftentimes the work he tries to do for my business is a surprise (meaning he doesn’t consult me on the details) and the result is not “on brand”, it sticks out like a sore thumb because it’s not consistent with my usual aesthetic. He sulks when I “reject” his gifts.
I told him that I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but he’s overstepping his bounds. I never asked him for help, and I don’t want to mix my business and personal relationships. Most of all, I don’t want his input in how I run my own business, because he thinks he can watch a few episodes of Dragon’s Den and automatically knows how to run a company. I’ve been running my business just fine for years before we got together.
He thinks that I’m closed minded and I could be making more money by presenting myself in a more professional way, I think he’s being pushy and telling me how to do my job and he’s not respecting my boundaries. I finally put my foot down and told him any more “help” from him is a waste of both of our time and I won’t be accepting any more of his “gifts” involving changing my brand.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
1rHUnO9CA3C3GiL1SSY5RkBpN84r6Xeq
|
b0w4b4
|
{
"description": "getting pissed off at my girlfriend for trying an edible",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA For getting pissed off at my girlfriend for trying an edible?
|
Now, let me be clear. I'm not mad that she tried the edible, but that she did it without me with her. We have been together 3 and a half years and shes always wanted to try and get high but couldnt because she got regular drug tests at work. I told her that once she graduated and got out of that job I would gladly get her high at a beginner pace and be there to supervise and what not.
Well cut to today I dont hear from girlfriend all day and then get a text that says "I dont think edibles are for me" so I ask what she means and turns out she was hanging out with some of her friends at her campus and they gave her an edible and she was having a bad time of it. I honestly feel kind of hurt and angry that she wouldn't wait to do it with me her first time so she was in a comfortable environment and I'm ghosting her for the night.
So reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
OXOnlRjfmKb1ByPhefojyIoehzcUB8Hd
|
amemwy
|
{
"description": "wanting to get a driving license and my not letting me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I want to get a driving license and my father won't let me
|
I'm 18 and my country it's pretty usual to get a driving license at this age; I just had my birthday and my uncle gave me money to start driving lessons as a birthday present, I want to use the money exactly for what they were given to me but my father tells me that driving school isn't that important right now and I should do it later in life and focus on school, but I know if I don't it now he would just ask me for the the money (for home improvements or other things that won't impact my life) , AITA for starting driving school without telling him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
uYRYXfksrDS17QTTh1ogMBrpkoCKcvBI
|
alx280
|
{
"description": "asking a indian guy if he compares himself to Ghandi",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking a indian guy if he compares himself to Ghandi?
|
Ok so we are at a frat interview event. Were obviously busting each others balls and were asking stupid shit to potential members all night long. Literally just stupid frat questions. This one dude who is Indian American says his favorite past time is giving and helping people out and sticking up for things and charity and i said “would you liken yourself to Ghandi”
My one friend whose been asking stupid questions all night told me to get out of his fucking room for that question when i was just fucking asking.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
jXsuIcH7dhllU9fsnA7gRj0CbQccOpf3
|
b781ew
|
{
"description": "reporting a coworker for unsafe driving",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for reporting a coworker for unsafe driving.
|
Leaving work yesterday, I was following a marked company vehicle. We got on the freeway onramp behind a tractor-trailer. Suddenly, they darted across the apron between the onramp and freeway over 100 feet before the merge area, accelerating heavily and showering my brand new vehicle with small gravel pieces. I spoke to my supervisor regarding it and reported that there was no damage to my vehicle. A third party informed them that a customer had reported them. Of course they knew who was behind them last night and came in here and lied to me about the tractor trailer suddenly braking, shouted at me and called me a liar for saying it was a customer. I didn't, that was the 3rd party's lie.
AITA for not just dropping it when an inspection showed no damage to my vehicle?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
enZ70tGfLkwu8zUxfHH2hCVHsjMMUtto
|
b0g5z4
|
{
"description": "telling my ex he needs to take his dog when he moves",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my ex he needs to take his dog when he moves?
|
So my ex and I were together for 5 years and we broke up in January. We have two dogs, mine (C) and his (K). We got C in June 2017 and K in March 2018. It’s kind of always been the agreement that C was mine and K was his. He’s going on a month long trip to Europe from Mid May to mid June, and I’ve already agreed to watch over both dogs for free while he’s gone, since he’s gonna pay rent for the whole month of May, but not June. I’m planning on getting a roommate mid-May or the start of June, but I don’t know who it’ll be yet so I have no idea if I’m going to have extra pets around or anything like that. When he gets back from his trip, he’s planning on moving straight back in with his parents, who live in a small suburb about 30 minutes from where we currently live.
His parents have a dog that doesn’t get along with any other dogs so he can’t take K if he moves in with his parents. However, he only is planning to live there until August, so he will move out and get his own place before the semester starts up again. He wants me to keep both dogs by myself until then.
Here’s the thing- K is an extremely anxious dog. He’d get really bad separation anxiety when we’d leave and would bark incessantly, go through trash, destroy stuff etc. He is also very emotionally attached to both myself and C. He can’t stand being locked out of rooms or separated from C in any way. C isn’t really the same way though, C is a very independent dog. I feel like if K spends from May-August with me and C, he’s going to get very used to that routine and be exponentially more anxious when it’s time for him to go live with just my ex.
So my ex is telling me that I’m ruining his living arrangements by telling him he needs to take K right when he gets back from Europe. I think he’s being irresponsible by leaving him for so long in the first place, but he’s telling me he’ll come do walks and play dates over the summer when he’s living with his parents. I just worry since they live pretty far it’s not going to be enough and it’s just going to make a stressful transition even more stressful. I love both dogs and don’t want to cause either undue stress. He said he’ll get his own apartment close by so they can still see each other though.
K is also much more hyper than C. He needs significantly longer walks, needs more attention and is generally just more high maintenance. He also has very bad leash aggression so it’s really hard to walk both dogs at once by myself because of K’s outbursts at any dogs we pass on walks. So, I think it’s not fair of him to just leave me alone to deal with both of these dogs when I’m working and taking classes because it’s a burden on me as well. C is an emotional support animal for me so he is calm and easy to deal with.
Am I the asshole for saying he needs to find a way to take K with him once he’s back from Europe, even if that means not moving back in with his parents?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Hwn02RCZ5VNIpiKqhE8xzhNpjhWxFrc6
|
arjnz7
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend because he forgets everything I tell him",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend because he forgets everything I tell him?
|
Like the title says my boyfriend will forget everything I tell him even if I told him an hour earlier. The reason why I’m mad now is that on the 15th before bed I told my boyfriend that my dad was supposed to call me for his birthday since it was the instructions given to my dad as a birthday gift from my mom he had to call each of his kids to get the next part of his present. I had been telling my boyfriend this since my family decided on the gift for my dad about a month prior. I kept my boyfriend in the loop on everything that was happening.
So the 16th comes and I get home from work exhausted. I still had around 3 hours until my dad was supposed to call and I was just going to stick through it and wait then go to sleep after the call and wishing him a happy birthday. I tell my boyfriend this and he just tells me to sleep for a bit and he’ll wake me up if I sleep to long. I said okay but only after making sure he knew that in 3 hours or if my dad calls he had to wake me up immediately. I even set alarms on both his phone and mine and placed them next to him in the living room where he was playing a game.
I fall asleep in our bedroom only to wake up 5 hours later to my boyfriend saying my mom was blowing up my phone I had about 10 missed calls from my dad and my mom was calling me nonstop the last 2 hours and sending texts saying I ruined my dads birthday because he can’t get the next part of his gift without me since no one knew what my part was.
So now I’m livid at my boyfriend and ask him why he didn’t wake me up when my dad called. His exact words were “I didn’t think it was that important so I let you sleep a little longer.”
Now I’m fuming and telling my boyfriend that this entire month I’ve been telling him that today was my dad’s birthday and that he was supposed to call me to get my part of his surprise gift. My boyfriend just says he forgot. And I don’t even think I can properly explain how angry that made me. I wouldn’t have fallen asleep had I known he would forget something I was practically hammering into his head for more than a month.
Now I’m just pissed because after this incident I realized that this isn’t the only time my boyfriend has forgot something I told him. If it’s anything about me or my family he will conveniently forget but will remember something if it has to do with him or his family. As an example my boyfriend’s grandparents are having their 40th anniversary in March and my boyfriend has been telling me constantly- since about December- that I needed to get the ingredients for the food I’m bringing over to the party.
Apart of me just wants to wait until March and conveniently forget to go shopping the week of the anniversary just so my boyfriend gets that his selective memory is a real issue and it isn’t nice to be on the receiving end of it.
I’m sorry this was so long but I’m basically pulling my hair out at this point trying to reconcile with my parents and my boyfriend giving me the cold shoulder because he thinks I’m overreacting. Am I the asshole for being mad at him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
BsB6BenXGudPIZ8n1nOhmFMHz0ktJeej
|
a2ma50
|
{
"description": "ghosting a friend with severe anxiety issues",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting a friend with severe anxiety issues?
|
A little back story on me before I start this story, I’m an ex-muslim girl.
One of the most challenging issues of leaving a religion that a person has been raised into is changing lifestyles
While everyone has different disorders to deal with a problem that girls from that religion usually have is; body issues/anxiety over getting caught/fear of harassment
Going from wearing a cover from head to toe to the causal summer shorts is a huge challenge for most of them
If I were to move somewhere further from my family I would definitely start wearing them without a problem *I’ve been secretly wearing causual clothes for a long time now*
While posting about my experiences on the subreddit r/exmuslim, a person sent a message to me, telling me about the situation they were in
She got to move in with her less religious relatives in the U.S and had the full freedom to wear whatever
However anxiety got in the way, so she kept on wearing the full cover despite the summer heat
As a result she fainted from heat strokes, three separate times..the walk to her college is long
She wanted me to text her as she went about in causal clothes as a distraction/emotional support
I was more than happy to help
I told her everything I used on myself back when I was in her shoes
*make it through this time, the second time won’t feel this nerve recking*
*listen to music*
*focus on this screen instead of the on lookers*
*Those passerbys won’t recognize you without your cover*
*wear large sunglasses if it makes you more comfortable*
*it’s okay you made it far enough, you can go home*
*you can try getting used to a slightly longer short before wearing that one*
*you should see a psychiatrist, fainting from heatstrokes is dangerous*
I repeated this over and over until she finally made it
The first time I helped was during the walk to a nearby laundry service
She kept repeating the same lines about worrying people would know her etc. very repetitive lines is a sign of clinical anxiety plus the self-harm
I tried my best to comfort her and it seemed to almost not work sometimes, so I would ask her to go home halfway then try a little bit more the next time
I tried recommending a psychiatrist but I didn’t get to hear an answer back on that..
The conversation went on for two and a half hours? I skipped dinner when my parents called me.
My typing thumbs were never this exhausted before but I was glad to help her finally make it there
I must’ve written a whole book worth of text bubbles or more
Her Frequently going over the same worries over and over had me typing the same advices just as repetitively
I recommended a psychiatrist/psychologist again after using up everything I could think of
I didn’t get to hear back on her reasons for not seeing one
She was capable of making the walk back on her own
I was glad, tired and guilty but most of all glad to help somebody who used to be in my situation
She will probably be better off the second time
About a day or two later, I got a DM from her
She was going to a nearby store to buy groceries and wanted some support
So I went with it
She started repeating about people staring and feeling over exposed
I repeated the same advices from last time
*people dress like this normally*
*they don’t recognize you*
*focus on the screen*
I felt like I was walking in the same circle like last time but felt immense guilt Simultaneously for it
I really did want to help but that was hours upon hours, she really needs to seek a professional
I tried to talk to her honestly about it
*I want what’s best for you but I’m starting to get tired of hearing the same conversation. How about we talk about what you’re planning to buy? You have to try avoiding thinking about people*
I wanted to shift her attention away from people as much as possible. That way we can have a good conversation while avoiding thinking about other people
For a while it worked
She told me about what stuff she needed to buy then mid conversation she switched back
we went back to square one
It took at minimum 30 minutes of texting to convince her to get to the front door alone
I was at my limits ,I felt extremely horrible for feeling that way too. I decided to firmly tell her to seek professional help and that I’m sorry before hitting the block button
So am I the asshole for leaving this person?
I hope she doesn’t see this post.. or maybe does to let me know she got the help needed. I worry that she might’ve went back to wearing that again...
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
58mKRdDN7jpkL29ebcZJqqmbV2SZn7Gr
|
a6su5b
|
{
"description": "cutting of my relationship with my best friend, for dating a girl I have liked some time ago",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for cutting of my relationship with my best friend, for dating a girl I have liked some time ago
|
I had a friend, for something like 4 years. Our friendship got stronger after I got rejected by the girl that I like for a year. He helped me from that process and after that we started spending lots of time together.
Then, I have learned that they are together from one of our mutual friends.
Even though it was impossible, due to that we all studying together and have to spend 50 hours a week at the same studio; my first reaction was immidietly isolating myself from them.
But,
My friend somehow managed to isolate me from their relationship and kept our friendship almost not changed. For some time ofc. Then, I got sick of lack of communication between each other, tried to fix it, got no response.
Am I the asshole in this shitty story?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
EJ6CMkLAzYmMJFbaeXGGvYO2P40fmsOw
|
b81586
|
{
"description": "telling my sister and my best friend they ruined my surprise bachelorette party and if they can't be civil I will cancel my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA If I tell my sister and my best friend they ruined my surprise bachelorette party and if they can’t be civil I will cancel my wedding!
|
Obligatory sorry for formatting issues on mobile and for then length but I’m a bit of a rambler.
Basically friends and family organised a surprise bachelorette party for myself, my sister and my friend got into a bit of a heated argument during the organisation of it all and they couldn’t let it lie on the night.
I wasn’t aware of any of the underlying issues until halfway through the night when they began arguing. I don’t want to go into the details of the argument but I know both are at fault.
I spent the rest of my night on eggshells going between both parties and trying to spend time with both of them as well as the other groups who all came making sure everyone was having a good night. It all became too much for me so I left early and broke down as soon as I got home to my fiancé. He spent the entire next day trying to comfort me and was completely angry on my behalf.
I haven’t spoken to either of them and haven’t even heard from them since this all went down on Friday night, but I plan on contacting them myself and telling them that if they can’t be civil we won’t be having a wedding. My fiancé and I will just go to the courthouse and get married without the party afterwards.
Not inviting them isn’t an option because by dis-inviting either will cause a huge ripple effect from both circles of friends and family and just leave a huge cloud hanging over everyone on the day. My fiancé is in agreement with this because we would both rather lose the money we’ve spent than have a bad atmosphere at our wedding. So WIBTA if I gave them this ultimatum?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
cZimkAAkySK5R13jXDzuyoHJXe3KnqB1
|
adab46
|
{
"description": "moving out of my father's house",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I move out of my father's house?
|
Disclaimer: I'm on mobile, so there might be some formating errors.
Disclaimer n°2: bit of a long story, tl;dr at the end
So a little bit of backstory here: My (16) parents divorced when I was 7, and I've been alternating houses beetween the two each week since. I've never had any issues with it so far, mostly because I can't remember what it was like before, so here's that.
Now forward a couple years, my father met a woman 5~6 years ago and she's been living with us since. At first she was nice with me and all, no problem whatsoever. 2 years ago, they got married and all, and that's when shit began to hit the fan: at the ceremony, all my father's friends began to trashtalk my mom behind her back (although they were her friends too), and everybody had a good laugh, except me of course. At first it was just during the ceremony, but now, every now and then, my father's friends or my mother in law start to badmouth my mom or her family (my mom's family tree's a bit complicated and they often make fun of it), and when I try to tell them that the fact that they do it in front of me irritates me, they shrug it of or say it was "just a joke" and tell me to relax.
And that was only the beginning...
Now, my mother in law is starting to take over my father's household: when my father and I want to do something together (ie playing games together, doing sports or watching a TV show), she tells us that we can't, because it's eirher "stupid" or that she just blatantly doesn't want us to do it, for no apparent reasons. She also comment my dressing style, saying it's ugly or unfashionable (I don't have the pretention of being a fashion specialist, but i'm dressing like your average teenage guy). We live in a decent sized appartment, though I have a rather small room, and my mother in law litterally invade my room by putting her stuff in my closet, putting MY stuff away. I tried asking nicely, but everytime I was talking to a brick wall. Even worse, when we talk with my father about something, she just drop in to say things like "what would you know of that, you're only a kid" and always belittles me as if I was five. Also, when my father and I are disagreeing on something, she will always, always side with my father, doesn't matter the time or subject, even if i'm right, i'll always be wrong because "he's your father and you're only a child". It's always things like that, little things now and then that bothers me in the end. And since there's some fight you can't win when you don't pay the bills, I've always kept a low profile.
More recently, I've got myself a girlfriend since about two month, and I shared the news with my father, who was happy about it, but my mother in law kept saying "I'm impressed that a loser like you could get a girlfriend, she must be blind", and at that point I kinda lost it. I said that she has no right to say this to me and that I didn't ask her opinion, and she replied whit something that angered me over the top : "stop being insolent to me! You know, when I chose to be with your father, I chose because I love him, not you. I'm making an effort by accepting you!". At this point I was just in shock and went to my room to think about it.
Now, as when I'm typing this, it's m'y birthday in two days and i'll be 17, which mean I can appeal the divorce judge's decision and decide to live only with my mom, who's got a nice flat and is much nicer to me.
The only thing holding me back from doing it is my father's reaction to this, I feel I'm kinda betraying him by doing this, cause the only things he did was to marry a bitch and being blind to the struggle I'm living even when I explained it to him. I'm affraid he'd fall into depression, because when my mother and him divorced, he took it very badly and almost like a betrayal, and I fear he'll hit rock bottom if I go live with my mother full time.
Tl;Dr: my stepmom's a bitch who's regulating m'y life to make it what feels like a living hell, but if I go to my mom's, it'll probably destroy my father who's only guilty to have bad taste in women and be oblivious to my struggle.
So, Will I Be the Asshole if I move out my father's house?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
m1Wr9xDW7pJK0F3wDkKUTzBNNrIwYG1Y
|
axenw4
|
{
"description": "going out with her best friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going out with her best friend?
|
Me and this girl had a "Fling" for less then 2 weeks and we both mutually decided to end the "fling". I started talking to her best friend because we were already friends and i just wanted to vent about the situation.
After talking for a few weeks we both knew we were interested in each other and started seeing each other. After we start dating girl A freaks out and basically blocked her best friend from her life. Girl A and her friends threatened my girlfriend for dating me.
So AITA for continuing on with my life after a 2 week fling? (We didn't do anything while we had a Fling either just hung out)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
6WcxJUYDrIDsNxbyQjUBny14Y1aKsC6T
|
axmo0z
|
{
"description": "asking someone to stop clipping their nails at work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For asking someone to stop clipping their nails at work?
|
I share an office with 3 other guys, we each have our side of the room. I have the wall opposite of the co-worker in question, separated also by the door between us.
I'm the new one in this office, I've been with the company 4 years, but promoted to this position a year ago and moved into this building. I've never shared an office before, so I've been trying to get used to boundaries/etiquette hence why I've been quiet. We each do our own stuff at our desk for example me and one of the co-workers both have a bottle of unscented lotion and use it usually when we get to the office as the cold weather is harsh on hands.
This coworker in question comes into work 2.5-3 hours before the rest of us show up to work, so he has that whole time to himself alone in the room. He's got plenty of other bad habits that I've put up with, like his short temper, constantly playing loud videos on Facebook, constantly looking at half naked girls online, or being overly open about his sex life. (He's also an older guy like 50, short, fat and balding.)
However for some reason his habit of clipping his nails, everyday, about twice a day (morning and afternoon) at his desk is bugging me. I get it's his own area, but he does it over the carpet not even a paper or anything to throw it away. And the noise of the nail clippers are just frustrating me.
WIBTA if I asked him to take care of his nails at home instead of the office? Or should I instead take this up with the supervisor? Or is it not my place to cross as it's on his side of the room.
Thanks
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9anU4ft66uKqTinya9bnjVAI3mIMDL9o
|
axuxtd
|
{
"description": "getting upset my sister isn't helping around the house",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset my sister isn't helping around the house?
|
So, for context, she and I live at home with our parents. We're both early 20s, and she is moving out in a few months. We pay very little in rent because we're supposed to help out with chores and grocery shopping and so on. Granted, because she makes more money than me and her phone is on the family plan (mine is not, I pay for mine), she pays twice as much as me.
I am home more often than not, so I end up helping around the house more. I do dishes, feed the dogs, trash, take care of snow and the hedge clippings, and keep our two big dogs from fighting.
She's supposed to vacuum the steps and floors, and pick up small groceries every so often or do general shopping when asked (and the parents pay for groceries then). She hasn't vacuumed in months, and she isn't here on the weekends. When she does go shopping, it's for herself only unless asked. And even then she usually just does bare minimum.
It kind of feels unfair that I tend to get in trouble for not taking care of my share, but she doesn't. It isn't even brought up usually
So, am I the asshole? I haven't really said anything beyond trying to casually bring up that she doesn't get asked to do much when she complains about being asked to pick up [small item]
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
5s9eDBbzn1qDiygxVsOrhAbw5w3hIfyS
|
b4axlz
|
{
"description": "not disclosing upfront to dates that I have a mental illness",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not disclosing upfront to dates that I have a mental illness?
|
I’m schitzoaffective. Its managed. I’m starting to get back out there as far as dating. It’s really uncomfortable to talk to people about it. In my early twenties I was a lot more open about telling friends/dates. I learned that it’s not a great way to keep friends. A lot of people have misconceptions about it and even if you are living proof that their misconceptions aren’t true they will ghost you or just do the slow back out of your life. It sucked, but lesson learned as far as keeping it to myself with friends.
I don’t feel as justified when it comes to dates. I’m conflicted with it. Part of me feels like if even for only a few dates or days together they will be able to see that there’s no outward signs and that I have it under control without misconceptions just shutting it down. The other side of me feels like if this is a hard pass for someone that should be their right and I shouldn’t waste both our times.
I’ve been using apps to get back out there. So far it’s only been sex so I didn’t really have a problem not telling them. I ready to try for something more now though.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
6ycaHi3zDkBDp7wtzBNxzRRlNlcfjKU1
|
aa34kx
|
{
"description": "confronting my sister about things she said while grieving",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for confronting my sister about things she said while grieving?
|
My sister and I have always had a rough relationship. We just don't get along and I percieve her as controlling, with a habit of giving unwanted advice. Sis is older and moved away from home at 18. I stayed in the family home as an adult to care for our mother, who had a multitude of health issues and passed away this year.
Over the years Sis has said many things that just rubbed me the wrong way. She always seemed to be implying that I wasn't caring for mom adequately. She lived way across the country, yet still wanted to offer 'advice'. For example, we had a real issue getting mom to eat. Her doctors were all aware and we did what we could to encourage her. Sis would tell me to offer mom foods she liked...as if I was giving her things she hated. She would remind me to tell the hospice nurses about it. Like if Sis wasn't around I would not have the sense to tell her medical caretakers about this major issue. Stuff like that was constant. Every conversation I had with sis for all the years mom was sick was her telling me how to do things better.
I should note I DID push back against this and have at times cut down communication with her or directly told her she needed to stop. It never changed things for long.
I let a lot of this go because i understood part of it was Sis feeling disconnected. At least she cared about mom, unlike some of my other siblings.
So now the question. Sis said some things while mom was in her last stages that really bothered me. Part of me wants to confront her. Part of me knows that emotions were running high.
For one, she implied that a fall mom took at the start of the year was my fault. Mom and I were standing in the kitchen together when it happened. I was within arm's reach of her, but she just dropped. Sis kept asking over and over how it happened and then summed it up by saying "Right...it happened when you weren't paying attention."
After mom's death Sis was going through mom's old writings and emails, many of which talk about her health issues. Sis wanted to talk about how things would have been different if mom saw different doctors or had a different diagnosis. Which first...none of that is relevant. Two, mom was an incredibly noncompliant patient who constantly blockaded her own medical care and progressively narrowed down her own medical options to basically nonexistent. I loved my mom, but she was the absolute WORST when it came to helping herself. I spent so much time and energy in my life BEGGING her to follow medical orders. Sis claims to understand that, but also said "I dont know if things would have been different if I'd been there..."
I want to tell her blaming me for mom's fall was a really shitty, unfair to do. I want to tell her that she wasn't here, and thinking that things would have gone differently is again really shitty and unfair. It's been six months since mom died and I still can't stop thinking about these words. Would I been an asshole for confronting her now and using things she may have said while grieving as evidence?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
6B9Z0JRd8gYr3KX46zUIitG3OiCWpB3z
|
a3ndn0
|
{
"description": "getting very pissed when my partner ignores what I'm saying and pretends I'm not talking",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting very pissed when my partner ignores what I'm saying and pretends I'm not talking?
|
Happens kinda regularly enough to become very frustrating. Generally if I bring a concern about things which are unacceptable, I'm ignored and dismissed. For record, I'm also female, we are both.
One example that really pissed me off, my partner was at the very early stages of pregnancy (a few days) and said, "after birth, I'm only going back to work 60%". My response, "well I think we need to discuss this between us both". At the time, the birth date was looking to be exactly when I finish my PhD and can get very decent unemployment benefits for 12 months in my country after graduation. I was explaining, for financial reasons, perhaps I can be a full-time parent for sometime at the start of the child's life and then we can decide on a different arrangement when I need to get a job. While I'm being paid by the social system, she could still work full-time.
This line of discussion was just completely ignored. We were driving at the time and she just simply pretended like I wasn't speaking, would not engage in discussion, and looked away out the window. Obviously, being ignored escalated my tone dramatically. It still sticks with me that she thinks that she can simply ignore what I'm saying in the hope the discussion goes away.
AITA for expecting my partner to engage in discussion, even if it isn't what she wants?
Also, the pregnancy didn't last past another few days. Very early term miscarriages are relatively common.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
wgt6ugIQo2I69JLEqBbzZf9AMvfvXTlk
|
anmowd
|
{
"description": "dating someone literally everyone is telling me not to",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for dating someone literally everyone is telling me not to?
|
Ok, so, recently (as of last Sunday as of posting this) I got onto a relationship with a guy. Hes sweet, funny, etc, but a bit of a hoe. Everyone knows this, but hes loyal. A friend of mine has had a crush on him for a while but he never liked her back. He has apparently been talking shit about another friend, she found out and when she found out we're in a relationship she flipped on me. Saying "I thought I made it clear you're mine." We had flirted a lot and she jokingly called me hers so I thought nothing of it.
While I get what shes saying, I'm also happy with the guy. Theres also the guys best friend who I dated for a while but broke up with because he was making me uncomfortable. He still likes me and flirts all the time even though he has a girlfriend, and when he found out me and the guy are going out he got upset as well. The whole situation is a mess and I'm panicking. Am I the asshole for dating him? Or does everyone just suck?
Note: I'm sorry if this is poorly written, English is my first language but I have a hard time writing things out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
xqi0pCAcmTIAZzaHJptXfJNBrtGehJT4
|
aa47hr
|
{
"description": "not wanting to communicate with my recently separated girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to communicate with my recently separated girlfriend?
|
To make things short, recently I was broken up with from my girlfriend of 5 years. She was spending some time and talking a lot about a co-worker of hers and Christmas Eve I got the wonderful gift of her telling me that it’s him that she is now talking to and offered to just stop talking to me altogether if that would help. I’m devastated because I thought that she was the perfect one for me but now I’m left alone and as much as I want her to be happy, I hate watching it happen in front of me. She still texts me good mornings and nights from time to time but I have not been replying since Christmas. I don’t even want to stop by to give her all the presents I bought her. Am I the asshole for not telling her my feelings about it and not talking to her all together?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ruKWkbV8rWsGnjeDkSBbDyXaAYpQnevQ
|
a7exct
|
{
"description": "wanting to get rid of a shitty cat",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for wanting to get rid of a shitty cat?
|
My girlfriend (22F) and I (25M) adopted a young cat on a whim from the local shelter about 10 months ago, and he's been a really good cat, up until he start shitting outside the litter box. At first, this seemed like a one-off event due to the harsh, chemical smell of the litter we were using, so we did some research and started taking precautions and extra measures to try and prevent this from happening again. We cleaned more frequently, played with the cat more, got him a massive cat tree, took him to my mom's as a getaway every 2 weeks, and just generally spoiled him IMO. But none of this worked, because this stupid cat shit in the wrong place another 4 times, each time testing my sanity more and more.
My girlfriend generally likes animals more than I do. She had 2 dogs living with her family, and when we moved in together into an apartment at the start of the year, she had no pets to love anymore. I wanted a cat when i was younger, but my parents never got me one despite that; i figured that now that i have a stable job, i can easily afford to take on a little extra responsibility and fulfill a childhood dream of owning a pet for my first time. I now know that I should have done more research, I should have pushed back on my girlfriend's excitement at the shelter, and insisted that we prepare ourselves before diving into such a commitment.
Well, 10 months and 5 shit-surprises in, I can admit that this experiment was a mistake and owning a cat isn't for me. We're all about to head to bed last night, when my girlfriend yells my name in alarm and points to the massive deuce in the middle of the comforter. I lose my shit - partly because I don't want to fucking deal with this at 10 pm, but mostly at the thought that this idiotic creature can so innocently ruin my things and cause us both distress with 0 consequences or awareness. My girlfriend is in tears too, wailing "Why would he DOO this!!???" In my rage, I take the cat and stick his face in the poo in a horrible and useless attempt at forcing a mental connection between "you're shitting here" and "we're not happy about it". My intention was to immediately wash it off, but my girlfriend freaks out and initiates a mini tug of war that amounts to shit being thrown everywhere.
After spending 4 hours cleaning everything, I announce/decide that i cannot fucking have this cat in my life anymore, and that i will be seeking to rehome him ASAP because i'm not mentally equipped to deal with this kind of behavior. Well this didn't go over well with my girlfriend, who proceeds to repeatedly deny this as a possibility she's willing to consider, because of the "heartbreak" it would cause her and because she wants to find alternate means to fix the behavior, which really amounts to throwing money at the problem or expending even more energy keeping the cat happy. Personally, I need a guarantee that this won't happen again, and the only way that's possible IMO is by not having the cat in my life anymore.
This argument has extended to today, and whereas I'm standing my ground and genuinely trying to explain my rationale, she complains about my unempathetic and cold attitude and has made some hurtful jabs in an effort to get me to reconsider, even alluding to a breakup because she doesn't "see a future together". Mind you, we've been together 4 years.
Am I the asshole, or am I justified?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
8WUyjcXAGlMnFbyVbpqcSh4RWy5RAH90
|
9tlex0
|
{
"description": "telling my advisor she sets a bad example",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my advisor she sets a bad example?
|
I went to get an advising appoitment for my business school classes. I walked in at 11:50 after my 11:45 class ended and she said “sorry can you come back later were closed” and i said “but the hours say you close at 12” and she goes “well its 12” and i said “no its 11:50” and she says “ya its 12” and i said “well this is the business school, if i run a business one day that claims to close at 12, im going to let customers in till 12.” That was it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
maoCf1qKLNxOptvJDdpc296vv11bnSJt
|
9xiclz
|
{
"description": "wanting to spend Christmas with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to spend Christmas with my boyfriend?
|
My boyfriend and I have been living together for three years and dating for four. He works a fancy real adult job, and I'm still grinding away (for now) in food service. I'm in management so I'm required to work on Christmas Eve and have had to for the last two years. There's just no exception unfortunately.
My boyfriend's family lives in another state, about a six hour drive away. He's not that close with them and Christmas has become just about the only time he sees them. The first two years we were together I was able to visit his family with him for Christmas, and it was great. They made me feel like I was a part of the family and I really needed that. But of course work put a damper on that.
For the past two years my boyfriend has gone to visit his family without me, and besides a little bit of sulking about how I'll miss him, I've been okay with that. I get out of work on Christmas Eve and spend the night with my two cute kitties, and then on Christmas I have dinner with my family.
I'm just not that close with my family. It didn't used to be that way, but things have changed. I've spent a lot of my adult life so far feeling kind of sad/lonely during the holidays. What I really want is to spend this Christmas waking up in my home with my boyfriend. I want to have presents under the tree for each other and make us a holiday breakfast and all the dorky Christmas stuff. I want him to be here with me. We haven't ever had a Christmas together in our own home!
I told him this and he didn't respond the way I hoped. He says that he sees me every day, and the only time he gets to see his full family together is on Christmas. He says we could have a late Christmas, pretend a different day is Christmas when he gets back. But it's just not really the same. I'm upset because I wish I didn't have to fight him to spend the day with me. I wish that it was important to him too.
He's spent the last two Christmases with his family while I've woken up alone. Am I the asshole for wanting him to be with me this year?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WnCyIeyY0GIqnKr8qDMSMFWJ9jLacAOv
|
ansos3
|
{
"description": "platonically calling my friend cute, but then getting called out by his anxious girlfriend and having it blow up",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For platonically calling my friend cute, but then getting called out by his anxious girlfriend and having it blow up?
|
So I’ve know this guy... we’ll call him Bruno. Bruno and I have known each other since middle school. He’s a year below me in high school and he got a girlfriend maybe 3 or 4 months ago.
Victor is incredibly talented and a wizard on the guitar so I work with him for song writing and getting performances together. We’ve got one coming up so I’ve been talking to him a lot more.
Last night his girlfriend posted a nice photo of him on her story and I responded and said “my boy Bruno hella cute wow.” Note that I said this ENTIRELY platonically as I am also a straight dude.
Bruno then hit me up and said something along the lines of, hey that’s not cool that you’re making her uncomfortable, stop that shit it’s weird. So I backed off and explained.
I’m in the choir/theatre kinda clique in school and we’re very affectionate towards each other, I often eat lunch with my friends and their significant others and I’ll be like “haha yeah Elliot is cute” or I’ll nap on someone on the couch because we’re literally all like that. I explained that to him and that that’s just how I am but if it makes her anxious or uncomfortable I’ll back off. He said he understood but continued to drone on and on and on about it.
Later that night he posted: “if you see two people in love do NOT fuck with them” which I’m assuming he directed at me.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
srMHflRx5QVKC0XwmJYYwMkvioEC9auM
|
aq2q90
|
{
"description": "pushing a guy out of my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for pushing a guy out of my apartment?
|
I live in a college apartment with 4 other dudes. Three of which are members of a fraternity. Me and my apartment mate who both aren't in that fraternity were hanging out and no one else was in the apartment.
I answered a knock on the door and another member of that fraternity was there, he asked "where my boys at" and started walking in. I pushed him out and said "theres no (nick name for members of that fraternity) here" then shut the door.
This guy is a jerk, when he lives the room all his frat brothers talk shit about him. I figured this was more honest than tolerating him for a while then talking shit when he left. But I want to know what reddit thinks, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
CXdqhinKPYPZbxtItJljiTKB8eMvndCt
|
b9plc3
|
{
"description": "yelling at a kid who sits by me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for yelling at a kid who sits by me?
|
Lets start this off with some context. Me and all my friends are all pretty conservative. We like to talk about guns and everything that comes with them. This kid is highly liberal, however we tolerate it because you should be exposed to different political opinions, right? Anyway, my tables interests also include video games and wrestling(it’s big at my school) while his only interests are fortnite and basketball, which I don’t hate him for, typical teenager stuff right there. Anyway one day I was talking to one of my friends about Doom Eternal and he starts trying to interrupt me and tell everyone about his fortnite wins. I told him “shut up, wait your turn to speak”. I instantly felt bad, but he got really angry saying he was going to “knock me up” and stuff like that. The next day I was relieved as he no longer sat by us, however I felt bad for making him leave. From that you may think I’m the asshole, however the story gets more intense. A day later, he told all the black kids(my schools about 30% black, 70% everything else) that I had called him a ni***r, which, no I did not. Racial slurs are not to be messed with and no way would I call him because of anger. All of the kids he told wanted to beat me up, however my table was able to diffuse the situation and tell them that the kid lied. Everyone at the table was outraged at him, and he no longer sits by us. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
PiSAUnB8xfA5r27KPSaKyUqgRJw3yRDA
|
9u2oa6
|
{
"description": "not letting people use MY internet",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I don't let people use MY internet?
|
Long story short i rent a room off my sisters sister, i pay for the internet in this house and its in my name soi can game, don't mind her using it cause it's her house, but she's got some skank staying here rent free, she doesn't work or anything just a lazy bitch. She expects to use my internet without asking me or offering me any money towards it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lk6YtHLaqUAeY5yefe05EyBM0Lm4vHtg
|
az8vxg
|
{
"description": "going to the hospital when I wasn't doing well",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going to the hospital when I wasn't doing well?
|
This happened a few years ago but it still makes me mad af.
I was in 10th grade and it was already at the end of the school year and we were all looking forward to our trip to Barcelona. Sadly I wasn't doing very well at this time (severe d*pression, s*lf harm..). Two weeks before the trip I was so done, that I checked myself into hospital. I was released a few days later and was also doing a lot better plus I was very excited for the trip.
When I was back in school my teacher told me, that I wasn't allowed to go to Barcelona because of my mental breakdown. Somehow he was afraid, that I'm going to k*ll myself on the trip. This was absolute bs.
He even wanted me to bring a doctor's note, that I wasn't allowed to go on the trip. Instead I brought him a note, that said that it would be the best for me to go on vacation. He didn't care at all and shrugged it all off.
Since this happened 2 weeks before the trip I wasn't able to get all my money back, so I spent 100€ for nothing.
I don't know if this is the right subreddit but I just feel like that it's my fault, that I wasn't allowed to go on the trip. If I had been pulling myself together this hadn't happened. What do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
B5cMuUHVkMryiJzccTHzSRPWR2oeE7V2
|
at5lbm
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with an autistic girl",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I don't want to be friends with an autistic girl?
|
I have been friends with a girl with autism (I'm not sure whenever it is severe or not, but I'm pretty sure she is high-functioning autistic).
I have been friends with this girl for around 1 and a half years, but in the recent months she started to make my friends and I really uncomfortable.
We are in secondary school (Year 10), not sure where in American school system.
I have C-PTSD, and I am sensitive to touch. I have explained this to her many times but she continued to try and touch me and push her limits. She also did this to my friends who also don't really like it. This included getting her face extremely close to us, jumping behind us to scare us, and asking us gross things.
This went as far as her asking "Can I puke in your mouth?" and other gross questions.
Also, she kept complaining how we are never there for her and she doesn't like it that she always has to initiate a conversation first, but in the past, when we shared our issues, she never comforted us in any way, and didn't provide much support. Whenever my friends or I started a conversation in a groupchat (which was often), she never replied properly, but only ever said "lol", or sent us the okay thumbs up emoji or the rainbow emoji (it was always the messenger emoji you had on the right of your screen).
My friends and I have recently made a "cult" as a joke and we made a little support system with our own inside jokes and such. We sometimes go out together, and do random stuff. She called this stupid and basically insulted all of my friends.
She also lied about my boyfriend (back when we were not together), and said that he said I should kill myself, of course this wasn't true and I hope it is justifible that I got a bit angry.
I know this does sound mean but she has a really not nice odour, she smells like musty rotting wood which is not pleasant to be around, and I know this might be because of her situation, but I think she rarely washes her hair. Which normally I wouldn't have an issue with, but due to her always getting close, sometimes was too much.
We have explained this to her many times and most of the time she used her autism as an explanation, but refused to attempt to change. Although she had started to ask for permission to touch us (which still comes off as creepy).
I think I should be allowed to choose who I am friends with and who I am not, and shouldn't just accept what is going on simply because of someone's autism, especially when it just makes all of my friends uncomfortable.
I only really talk to her sometimes because of a mutual friend who doesn't want us to argue.
I hope I am not too much of an asshole, I just want to hang around people who get my sense of humour and I feel comfortable around. I'm not doing this simply because she's autistic.
Tl;dr : She makes us extremely uncomfortable, insulted us, and has double standards. : /
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 13,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
UwopA1DVo18XIqDDpSLZQUs8TiWYfyHu
|
a540cd
|
{
"description": "still talking to my boyfriend's ex-friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for still talking to my boyfriend’s ex-friends?
|
Long story short, my boyfriend had a falling out with some of his friends a while back. They are currently roommates because the splitting events occurred after this term’s lease was signed. They’re no longer on good terms, and don’t speak to each other unless it’s something house-related (like chore reminders and things like that.)
​
I’m not going to go into detail of what happened between them, but there is no question that his ex-friends were at fault. They invaded his privacy, belittled him when he was upset, and were extremely manipulative. They really shattered my boyfriend for a bit and because of that, I obviously don’t view them in a good light either.
​
The thing is though, I still talk to them. I don’t go out of my way to carry out a conversation, but I’ll still politely ask them how they’re doing and how their day went if I bump into them in the house. Even though they aren’t good people, I still feel the need to be civil towards them. I would feel like an awful person if I didn’t, especially when they initiate the conversation first.
​
This greatly upsets my boyfriend. He doesn’t get why I still treat them “like friends” even though they hurt him so much. He wants me to cut the civility and says that they’re undeserving of it. He justifies it by saying that he would never let anyone treat me the way that they treated him. I understand where he’s coming from, but I personally find it to be a very difficult behaviour to change. And besides, I’m hardly treating them like friends — I don’t go out of my way to talk to them and I don’t invite them to do things with me.
​
He’s disappointed that I don’t change even though I know my current behaviour upsets him. I’ve really tried, but sometimes, I just need banter just to fill the uncomfortable silence when I’m alone with his roommates in a shared space of the house. So lately, I’ve been feeling incredibly confused about the situation. Reddit, IATA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
EpILNlLQkyT7sJpEoacASzEjZQm17XKa
|
au60ke
|
{
"description": "habitually confronting abusive parents public",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 22
}
|
AITA for habitually confronting abusive parents public?
|
I see it so often when I go out. A child is acting completely reasonable and a parent will just randomly explode at them including threats of violence. They just yell them into submission at the slightest hair trigger and think that is parenting.
I was making a quick trip to the store with a friend and a little girl who was smiling made a move to help move bagged groceries back onto the cart. The mom exploded at her in a way that was obvious it was commonly done. She yelled "Stand behind me or I'll smack your ass!".
I told her she should feel ashamed for treating her kid that way which she made a tssssck noise and told me to mind my own business... Well my friend seemed to think the same way. He told me parents have different parenting styles and I was being an asshole for doing that in front of her kid.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 22
}
|
WRONG
|
1RguLYSIJm6y8pELpdBRPcF6SjbldT6Y
|
al54g3
|
{
"description": "taking rideshare to work due to poor weather conditions",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking rideshare to work due to poor weather conditions?
|
Normally I wouldn’t even question this decision but I inadvertently caused some drama at my workplace today.
Backstory: I live somewhere that gets pretty cold. And like most of the country I live in we’ve been hammered with snow, ice, and sub-zero temperatures. Not wanting to deal with the hassle of my daily commute, and definitely not wanting to stand outside to wait for public transportation, I used a rideshare service both yesterday and today.
I thought nothing of it until a coworker arrived today and said “Oh G-What I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t see your car in the lot.” I replied that I took a rideshare today because I didn’t want to deal with the weather.
“Well that’s a selfish thing to do!” She accused.
I was floored. When I asked for a reason why, she told me “You shouldn’t make someone drive you around because you’re too lazy to do it yourself. Everyone else drove in today.”
Now the way I see it, nobody that works for Uber/Lyft/whatever is *forced* to work in poor conditions. By my understanding they get to choose what hours they work and they can choose not to pick up riders. I wasn’t making anyone drive that didn’t want to. I also picked the option that allows other riders to book, so I allowed to have fewer cars with fewer drivers on the road, so shouldn’t this actually be the safer and *less selfish* decision?
I really don’t feel I did anything wrong, but tomorrow is going to be a record cold day and most of my office already thinks I’m an asshole for doing this. Are they right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GUzec1Nrp8ASvqe807wrZHg0BctFdolA
|
b6lnsp
|
{
"description": "avoiding/cutting contact to my Grandma",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For avoiding/cutting contact to my Grandma?
|
So almost my whole family has never maintained contact to my Grandma since my mother (her daughter) had several disputes with her and my grandpa divorced her.
I was too young back then and have no recollection of that.
Since i am an adult now she tried to get in touch with me and we had a very long phonecall.
She asked my like two or three personal questions and after that just went on how my family is mean and how hard-working she was in the past. How she has therefore earned her alimony and she told me very much about her current physical health issues.
She ended up promising me money which i tried to talk her out of but she was still determined to do it.
My family denies the accusations she is making since there are some quite heavy ones for example that my grandpa hit her in the past. But there are also some smaller ones which i just cant accepts are true. For example she said my mother was always very ungrateful and personally i know my mother and she is a very sensitive person so i can't accept that she is telling the truth.
A few months later she called again and essential just went on about the same stuff as last time spew hate about my familiy and didnt talk about me at all. She brought up the money she promised me and apologized saying she had some expences and will send me some soon. As last time I neither brought it up nor did i really want it since money isnt a problem for me.
We havent talked since then.
So by now I figured out i dont want any more contact with her because it doesnt seem like she actually cares for me and her toxicity towards the rest of my family is really putting me off . Her also promising stuff she doesnt hold up to seems to me like a big red flag especally since i never ask for it and im also always telling her that she really doesnt need to.
So am I an asshole for choosing that i dont want any more contact with her?
After all she is still family but i have lived years without her and i dont really feel like having contact with her is positive for my life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ALCM7rBLzt25L5jEjheE5IpS3bgdEI6m
|
ayxrlj
| null |
AITA for forcibg my brother to do an impossible task?
|
About 4 hours ago, my brother stole my phone. I responded by tackling him and taking my phone back after 30 minutes.
He took my headphones and threw them out so I couldnt use my phone (I need headphones for a lot of the things I do) and ran off with it.
I continuously attacked him in his texts and threatened him by saying I'd disown him or I'd kill him, stuff like that.
After about an hour, I find where he put it. He put it in a closet on top of a bottle and the shelves had holes in them , and since he hid it on the top level.
When I went to get it, it was gone. The headphones disappeared in the health products and towels in the closet.
My mom said that she said that he wasnt allowed to have dinner until he found it (it was 7:00 and we knew he wouldnt find it for a few hours). I had the chance to say no, but I didnt. I wanted to have him have revenge. So now I just took away my brother's dinner and had him do a pointless search since I took my old headphones that work.
Not only that, but hes sick and has a fractured knee. I took away his food while was sick she had a broken knee, but he did take my phone and he lost my headphones. And I also attacked him. He did just find them as I'm typing this but he wont talk to me. It's been a while since I lost it and now his only dinner is a glass of milk.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
E6xyoqrRLC7LV7ERlRuTj93bDZaO1ocX
|
a449bo
| null |
AITA fir telling my wife i don’t want her to go and hang out with a guy?
|
My wife 24f started working out 2 years ago. Through this time she has met many people one being her fitness instructor. Her fitness instructor broke up with her boyfriend and moved home to a city 4 hours away.
This past summer the gym she attends held a strong man competition where she met Hobart. Idk his name so I’ll call him that. She told me that right away she could feel that he was attracted to her but tells me she told him she was married.
She told me that he still jokes around about picking her up or being able to lift more than me....right here is my second sign the first obviously the way she described his actions/attitude towards her, even though she’s told him she’s married.
This weekend my wife and is going to visit her friend/instructor and also tells me that Hobart wants to hang out but not at any place public, at his house, to watch a movie or something.
I have told her I don’t feel comfortable with it and she jokes it off like it’s no big deal but i don’t think it’s funny and I told her no she cannot go to his house, idk why I feel better if they went for something to eat but at least in public he can’t drug her or whatever I think this fuck is thinking in doing.
I trust her but I was once a single man and a know how the fuckers think. Am I an asshole fir saying no she can’t go to his house?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 44,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 44,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
3jMlzn5Qc3SrFuljEziXZHLScyzejdYc
|
ahl05u
|
{
"description": "cutting off contact with my sisters",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off contact with my sisters
|
The TLDR is this, my sisters have been annoyed at me for weeks because I said I don’t want to do anything for my birthday (in a few days) and they planned a whole big thing for it, which I said to them to cancel. They now haven’t spoken to me since, after weeks of being ignored I said to them last night to just not even bother anymore. I’m now being accused of spending all my time with my boyfriend and ignoring them instead.
The long version: I will edit this after and post the link to what my sisters did, but basically I said I don’t want to do anything for my birthday this year, I’m turning 25 and quite honestly the last 5 years have been so crap that I just can’t be bothered to do anything. Instead I’m seeing my boyfriend on Monday and we’re going out to see the Lumiere Lights (as I’ve wanted to see it for years).
Since I said that I don’t want to do anything they have purposely left me out of all their plans and just ignored me, one of them literally goes past where I live 5 days a week, as it’s on her way to take my niece to and from school, so it’s not like they’ve not had a chance. They are both constantly at my parents house (a 15 minute bus ride from me), despite the fact that back in August I had to call police on my dad, after he beat my mum (who dropped the charges), they’ve just acted like he’s done nothing. I have barely spoken to my mum since it happened, and I haven’t spoken to my dad at all, I made plans to introduce my mum to my boyfriend and my dad decided to show up and completely ignored us both.
Obviously there’s only so long you can be treated like rubbish by people before you snap, so last night I just texted them both (we had a group chat) and said to them to just not bother anymore, and then I left the chat. This morning my older sister texted me and said that I’m just being selfish, and that she hasn’t spoken to me because she doesn’t want to be accused of anything. She also went on a long rant about being in and out of hospital with her pregnancy, and that she doesn’t want to be accused of anything (all I heard about was her ‘miracle’ baby and I’m waiting to find out if I can have kids). My younger sister (20, not that young) hasn’t even tried to talk to me, and everytime I have tried to call her the last few weeks all I’ve heard is ‘I’m with my friend/boyfriend/friends family. I’ll call you tomorrow’, the last time she said that was Monday and she still hasn’t called me.
Their main accusation is that I have spent all my time with my boyfriend (I haven’t seen him in nearly a week), and that’s all they hear about. I rarely talk abut him, because I’m not that person. However when I do see him he stays with me for a few days, as he lives far away (at least an hour by train) so it’s pointless for him to see me for one night and then go home. He also stayed a little longer last time as I was on my period, as they’re really bad due to the problems I have related to why I might not be able to have kids, and because it was so bad I actually had to take time off work because I had worked myself to the point of nearly collapsing when I got in from work one night. He stayed longer as he had to call in sick to work for me, and he was making sure I was resting so that I didn’t end up in hospital with it (it has happened before). They have totally ignored that though and instead focus on the fact that I’ve spoken with to him more than them, I refuse to try to call them first now because I always have to, and my younger sister lives far away (but constantly goes to my parents), and the older one lives in a really gross house which just smells constantly so I avoid it.
I have now just cut off contact with them as a result of all this, and I genuinely can’t see how I am the asshole in this.
Also side note for boyfriends: my younger sister is almost always with hers as he lives down the road from her, and my older sister sees her boyfriend so much that she actually tried to invite him to a mutual friends birthday brunch, and then cancelled when our friend said no (because she doesn’t know her boyfriend very well and it was a girls only event).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
9WNAo1UKDWAwscD6NXp5G3HJLEAYvLOr
|
atuxeu
|
{
"description": "repeteadly turning down and not responding to a guy's texts that has a crush on me",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for repeteadly turning down and not responding to a guy's texts that has a crush on me?
|
This began this past may and have been occuring maybe once every month, juste sending a "hey" and "what's up". I already asked him during the summer why he was so adamant in talking to me and i made it clear that i didn't want to talk to him and that i was already in a relationship. Today he sent me another text asking if i was bothered by him. AITA for not wanting to talk to him? I kinda feel bad about it.
Also, because i know this is gonna be interpreted incorrectly, i'm a [M20] and heterosexual and this guy is i believe around the same age as me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IUT0mqaHSGiB1EbgUSlPvXAFKUFpD9aR
|
b91elp
|
{
"description": "not always wanting to play tech support for my mother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not always wanting to play tech support for my mother?
|
I'm sure many of you know the struggle, even if you're not super tech savvy. There are still lots of people out there who, despite using modern technology each and every day, have yet to learn how to solve simple issues by taking a look at their settings or via a quick google search.
One of those people is my mother. Now, I do love my mother very very much (of course!) but sometimes she just drives me insane with her questions on "how do I do this on my phone?", "where do I change this setting?", "why is this not working?" and her immediately trying to hand me her device so that I can fix it.
I do not take her phone/tablet when she holds it out to me. If it's not a simple "turn it off and on again" issue, I usually tell her to just show me where the problem is and we'll look at it together. She should be the one making the changes in her settings or whatever else needs to be done. That never fails to make her instantly annoyed, though. Apparently I "don't want to help her" if I don't just do whatever she needs done. No amount of me explaining to her that I want to teach her to do things herself can ever appease her. She doesn't have to be afraid of breaking anything, most devices are actually quite foolproof. But no, it's just that I "have no patience" and "can't even do a simple little thing for her".
This doesn't usually create a huge conflict but it happens so often that it's really bugging me, and it makes me question if I'm inadvertently being a dick, even though I have good intentions.
AITA for not just sucking it up and fixing things? Or is it okay to be a little more passive while helping so that my mother can (hopefully) learn to resolve issues herself?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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cStnDadCHqsA914uifkQF9LliYP7HvCD
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b40a92
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{
"description": "threatening my group",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for threatening my group
|
So at the beginning of the semester, my professor assigned random groups for the class for the term projects. The term project consists of three different submissions. The first submission, members of the group used the excuse of midterms for their other classes and i ended up doing 70% of the project. The second submission, we had a group meeting in which everyone had to leave at someone point and i ended up doing the whole assignment alone. Afterwards, i talked to my professor and he gave me the option to separate from my group. I proposed a plan to my group members that the rest of the group and i would write 2 different papers and we'd combine it at the end. My group members told me they dont like the agreement and i threaten to leave. Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
apnbow
|
{
"description": "not trusting my bf's friends",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not trusting my bf’s friends?
|
I know most of my bf’s friends. The other week, my bf hung out with a few of his friends & i didn’t tag along bc i was out of town. He texted me pretty late asking if i’m ok with having two of his friends (both girls) over bc they had nowhere to stay. I said sure because obviously, i trust him. Well, one girl tried to kiss him saying it’s not cheating. The other girl helped trying to get him. From what he said, he told me he hid in the extra bedroom all night. I trust him but i felt a punch in my stomach. I told him about how i felt about those two and i told him that i trust him but i don’t trust his friends. he respected my view of his friends. Yet, i’m still a bit iffy about the two friends he has.
I have a bad feeling when it comes to those two girls. We know each other & it’s not saying i hate them or dislike them, i just have a gut feeling towards them. One of my friends told me about them and how they have bad personalities and such. It made me feel even more iffy about the whole situation. I keep telling myself it’s in the past and i need to get over it before my jealousy gets pretty bad.
One girl, he known since freshman year of high school. The other girl he known because at that time, it was his best friend’s gf.
Even my own boyfriend tells me how horrible his best friend’s gf is. He told me how she went to every guy in his friend group and tried to get at them. I’ve convinced myself that it’s okay to feel a little distrust towards her.
i feel like the bad guy in this but i’ve been told that i’m not the bad guy and it’s okay to feel a bit of distrust towards them. my boyfriend was just trying to be a good friend and lend a roof to his friends. am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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GqfgNWgzEAz6Cd6xuEEyK5wdv2UBGUe5
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aoj8oe
|
{
"description": "working in the oilfield industry (because of the high pay) even though I believe it's destroying the Earth? I vote democrat and minimize my carbon footprint",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for working in the oilfield industry (because of the high pay) even though I believe it’s destroying the Earth? I vote democrat and minimize my carbon footprint.
|
I work in the oilfield industry because it pays very well, which allows my wife and I to have financial freedom. It’s liberating. However, I can’t help but feel like I’m selling my soul a little bit.
On the one hand, someone is going to do this job no matter what, so why shouldn’t it be me? I support any policy that could combat climate change and I minimize my carbon footprint. My wife and I don’t have kids and will not be having them, ever (best thing to do to cut your carbon footprint down).
On the other hand, I’m very much of the belief that this industry is not at all good for our planet... and I feel a bit like someone running a concentration camp because I was “just following orders”.
To be clear, I plan on staying at my job. I love it and I love the money... I’m just kind of curious of what Reddit thinks about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
NoLuTsQkVaBhkxyjbszkFY3x95UEUsUs
|
anycia
|
{
"description": "turning my ex in for a warrant",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for turning my ex in for a warrant?
|
Moved in with a girlfriend two months ago who dumped me a little over a week ago. I’ve moved back in with my parents and let her keep the place because she agreed to pay the rent and pay me some money she owed me by the first of February. The apartment complex contacted me today and let me know the rent hasn’t been paid, she also hasn’t paid me back and has been ignoring me. I want to turn her in while she’s at work.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b2srcp
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{
"description": "trying to talk some sense into my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for trying to talk some sense into my friend?
|
This is really long and I'm sorry lol.
My best friend of almost 6 years is obese. She's about the same height as me (5'4 - 5'5) and has to weigh about 3 and change, if not, close. (Not meant to sound derogatory at all).
She's into this whole "lose weight quick" BS and has been very interested in taking diet pills again. These diet pills specifically, keep your appetite down, boost your metabolism and give you energy. Which sounds sketchy as fuck to begin with, but I let it go for the sake of the conversation. So instead of just instantly preaching to her about diet pills, I just slid in some suggestions like eating healthier (which she doesn't do) and working out a little bit, even if it's just taking a walk around the block.
She just excused it off with "I get enough exercise at the hospital lol" (she's a patient sitter). Then continues with how she wants to get down to at least 130, so she'll take them for awhile and then quit so that she doesn't (quote) "get too dependent on them." This set off immediate red flags, so I said "And that's why I don't mess with them."
Completely excuses it with "but bruh imma be skinny af tho" (yes she said it like that) "like dude can you imagine how awesome imma look at about 130 or less?" So I responded with something like "And how shitty you're gonna feel physically? :D"
"lol actually probably feel the same, just skinny af."
This is where I sent her how I felt about it. I basically said that what's the point of being skinny if you're just going to feel horrible? Nobody knows how those things are going to make her feel a couple months down the road. She really is not taking her health into consideration, she's more worried about how good she's going to look. Losing weight should always be about your health and well being, not the fact that it may make you "skinny af." I ended it with saying that I'm not trying to tell her what to do because it's a free country and she can do what she wants, but I don't want her getting hurt or depriving herself of anything she needs.
Of course she excuses it again with "I know, mom always watches me when I'm on them anyway to make sure I'm taking them right, so." I just stopped the conversation right there and didn't escalate it further. She's so damn hard-headed sometimes. I really am concerned for her and would love to help her but she just keeps making these excuses and brushing off the suggestions and risk factors. I 100% agree that being skinny can be beautiful and raise your confidence, but at what expense? Your health? I just don't know what to do anymore.
Am I a genuinely concerned friend, or Am I The Asshole?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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WBxmZiR9QZHmMjmjtP0OE22nPrfhCsEe
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b32c1f
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{
"description": "having primary custody of my kids and wanting to move them across the country from thier father and his familiy so I can't start my dream job",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 211
}
|
AITA for having primary custody of my kids and wanting to move them across the country from thier father and his familiy so I can't start my dream job?
|
Lots of background I can't include in the 3000 character limit but will do my best. Divorced from my HS "sweetheart" for about a year. Kids aged 6 and 3. For all his faults, he is an amazing father and his family still are my saving grace on most days and are nice people. Kids are very attached to he and family. We live in NW Florida.
Six months ago I met and fell madly in love with a new guy. We have a ton in common, including our love of theater. He is moving to LA to start a small theater company with a rather large inheritance he got from his dad's estate. He asked me to come along. It is literally everything I dreamed of doing in life and I have a chance to make it come true. It is my dream job to say the least.
My ex says he encourages me to go but begs me to leave kids with him. Our divorce was so bitter, I can't imagine giving him an inch let alone take kids so this isn't a possibility. My kids don't want to to either but I feel like this is my one shot to make my dreams come true and I have to take it.
Even my parents and grandparents who usually stay out of my business are telling me I'm a "jerk" and uncaring mother (I guess that equates to being an asshole) for moving my kids away from thier family. But kids grow up to be healthy and happy in LA without having kits of relatives around so there's that.
Am I the asshole for considering this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
RzwBkUYvon4oav9ZSGvMV23sZsFG5jGk
|
b7x9sr
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{
"description": "having a \"date\" with a girl that my close friend is eyeing",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for having a "date" with a girl that my close friend is eyeing?
|
For the sake of privacy, I'll name my friend Ryan and the girl Jen.
So, it started when we entered 12th grade. we had a reshuffle and OP, Ryan and jen and we became classmates. Me and ryan are close friends since Grade 11, because of a certain game we play. when we had some people join our friend group and Ryan met jen. Ryan pretty obviously liked jen, but he didn't make any moves and jen thinks they are only friends, and ryan seems to be okay with it. I even asked him if he likes her but he quickly changes the topic. Then on Feb 14th, valentines day, i asked her out for a friendly date, and she agreed. It was only a friendly date, after school, but Ryan saw us and he was furious because we said we were going home but we instead, had a date. It was only a friendly date, but ryan seems to not understand it, and not believing me because i sent love letters & stuff. I got mad, because he acts like they had a relationship, but in reality they are only friends. we still don't talk to each other to this date.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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MKMysRrUgNj587eG4MfPmTE4ngYbMBt4
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b1hhnb
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{
"description": "refusing to help the addict who saved my life when I was using",
"pronormative_score": 75,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for refusing to help the addict who saved my life when I was using?
|
I’m almost 28 and after some surgery I got addicted to prescription painkillers like oxy and Percocet.
I eventually graduated to heroin and got clean when I was 26 but relapsed after only a couple months. At the time I was more or less homeless but me and this other guy “Jack” squatted together in this abandoned building for a little while. We looked out for each other and we always had Naloxone on us in case we needed it because the local needle exchange would give it out to known users in the city.
I ended up overdosing after my relapse because I over estimated how much I could actually handle at that point and luckily Jack came back at the right moment and saved my life.
After this, I have been fully clean for a little bit over a year now. I haven’t seen or heard from Jack for a really long time, I’ve moved into my own decent apartment, I have a decent job and I have always just assumed that he was dead by now.
Well we live in a medium to smaller sized city so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that I would run into people I knew eventually.
I was out going to my bank, which is in a sketchier part of the city, and I hear somebody call out my name. I turn around and it’s Jack.
I can immediately tell that he’s super strung out and he goes, “Wow look at you. Guess you finally managed to get better.”
I’m feeling nervous as fuck because I don’t trust strung out junkies because I was that strung out junkie not too long ago.
He tells me that he has been trying to get sober for the past year but nothing has been working out. Then, as I expected, he asks me for help. He asks me if he can crash at my place or if I can help him out with some money to go to a rehab since he says that I now look like, “I can spare it.”
I had nor do I have any desire to let an actively using heroin addict stay at my apartment. And I don’t want to give him money because I know for a fact that shit will not go to a rehab.
I tell him that I don’t think I can do that for him but I wish him luck.
He says I’m a “fucking asshole” and that I’d be dead if it “wasn’t for him”. To be fair, he is right. I would’ve died without him. He then just spits at my feet and walks off. I left feeling pretty shook up.
I thought at the time that I was making the right decision but I don’t know anymore. He did save my life and I could very well be in his position or dead instead of where I am right now. But I also don’t think I am ready to be around people like that at this point in my recovery. I’ve lost all of my family, who want nothing to do with me and my only friend left helped me get clean and I don’t want to drag him back into this world so I don’t have a lot of people to talk to about this besides my sponsor.
AITA for refusing to help Jack? He saved my life but I don’t know what I can really do for him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
DS9F0UGIihp2nPkxH0tCo1UWT9BDV8mY
|
af2jq7
|
{
"description": "letting my disabled father pay for my phone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for letting my disabled father pay for my phone?
|
So a little context,
My fathers health has been declining since last year. Last June we moved everything over into a trust and got his will in order, and set up a full power of attorney for me. We put me as a co trustee so I can add things too it and manage it should the need arise. I took full control of his finances and accounts. In September he had a stroke and this exacerbated things with his health even more so.
He is currently bed bound un able to walk but still has his mind and wits about him, even though he’s a little slower.
We always had a family plan and he paid for my grandmas phone bill also, but I always paid him for my portion. Through the years he’s given me several small loans for things, and we had a book to keep track of it. I always paid it down and kept up to date with it. Closer to me taking over his finances and basically entire life, he wasn’t tracking things as much or not really worried about me paying him right away or anything.
I switched the phone account into my name so I could make necessary changes but kept the bill to his account. Since taking over I haven’t paid it back in several months, but keep diligent track of all other transactions.
I set him up on state disability, social security, take care of all his insurance issues, found him an assisted living place, and am currently getting his house ready to rent (insane amount of work) so he has more income coming in when disability runs out. I brought my roommates over to help clean out his house and took them out to dinner and paid with his card to say thanks.
Here’s the AITA part. I’m doing all I can for my dad, and have his best interests in mind, but I also don’t want to take advantage of the situation. He’s absolutely fine on money and did a great job setting himself up for retirement, but I’m also not trying to feel entitled because it’s his money, not mine. I asked my mom about it and she said I shouldn’t worry cause I’ve already saved him a ton of money anyway and it’s a “cost of doing business” type of thing. But I’m not sure if it’s a bias with me being her kid.
Added info, mom and dad are separated but still good friends, also am an only child.
TLDR: Haven’t paid back my dad for phone bill, but have complete POA and am helping him out with his entire life.
Edit: talked with him about it. Go figure, the simplest conclusion didn’t cross my mind.
He said not to worry about it and to keep my conscience guilt free.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
qIDTZjwYcLLa7svDzWiuGOrjEiA6o1be
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aqadzn
|
{
"description": "just following the terms of mom's will as it was written, 12 years ago",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I just followed the terms of mom's will as it was written, 12 years ago?
|
I've shopped this problem around at r/legaladvice and r/personalfinance, and now know that I am only obligated to fulfill the terms of mom's will. Hearsay changes outside of the will, especially the ones you only hear about after mom's dead, don't count. I guess what I'm looking for is some sort of absolution for what I'm about to do.
Mom died and my brother and I are supposed to split her estate 50/50. He's a moocher. Not only has she provided 100% of his support for the past few years, she let him live for free on her property ever since his divorce 20 years ago. I've never asked her for a dime, and even arranged for her to meet a nice guy with a good job, which gave her health insurance (as a young widow), along with an annuity upon his death, which ended upon her death.
Here's the sticky part: Mom's health took a nosedive a couple of years ago. She had major heart surgery, survived, even thrived briefly, then went noncompliant on her meds, took up heavy smoking again, and just did whatever she felt like, whenever she liked. I know that even as recently as a year ago, she was having to remind him to do simple tasks (renew driver's license, pay electric bill), and confided to me that she just wished he would move, she wanted to move into an assisted living apartment.
Cutting to the chase, during her last hospital stay last fall, she was diagnosed with dementia. Neither one of us know when it started. Yes, that's right: Once she went non-compliant on foods and meds, I distanced myself a little. When she took up heavy smoking again (he smokes, too) I was very distant, and usually just called. In an effort to motivate my brother to take better care of her, I offered him her land and home. It didn't work: His genius idea, and hers (she loved to smoke) was to just tell the Uptight One that everything was, "Fine, just fine. No need to visit. We're doing very well." She wasn't. Her death caught me completely by surprise. The way my brother and niece now act, I don't think they were nearly as surprised.
Supposedly, a couple of months before her death, she told my niece to just sell the place, and move her dad (mom's son, my brother) in with her. While mom lay dying, my niece told me she DEFINITELY didn't want to do that. They've also gotten really crappy about a couple of CD's they say were purchased for them. Mom has three $5,000 CDs, the oldest of which names me as beneficiary: the two she bought last year have no beneficiary listed.
After all the yadda and accusations ("I never saw you there!" says my niece, who visited rarely, from 100 miles away), I'm just about ready to split the entire estate right down the middle, 50/50. WIBTA, even if I gave them the chance to buy me out, or partitioned some of the acreage away from the home, or otherwise tried to make up for the fact that for the last few months of mom's life, I basically bailed? My brother and I were both pretty crummy kids, but he didn't have a job or income, all he was supposed to do was care for mom, and I feel like he didn't do that. (As she lay dying, "Tried to feed her a chili cheese dog last night. She wouldn't even eat two bites!")
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
5fAYNnVLJEDdZY6rThycLx5inq0oG9ZZ
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b5apfl
|
{
"description": "asking my boyfriend where he was after he left at 2 am last night",
"pronormative_score": 90,
"contranormative_score": 33
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend where he was after he left at 2 AM last night?
|
Last night I was having a lot of trouble falling asleep. At about 2 AM I hear my boyfriend call out my name softly but I ignore him because I don't want to focus and stop drifting off. He calls out again a few more times and I pretend not to hear him. He goes to poke me but I don't move because I'm in too deep now. He sighs and leaves the room.
I hear the engine of the car turn on and he leaves in it. At this point I was wide awake and was wondering where he was going. At first I thought maybe he was... I don't know, taking in the scenery in the dead of the night? But then I recall how he made sure I wasn't awake before he took off and it didn't take long before I thought of him cheating on me.
I intended on staying awake and confronting him when he came home but I fell asleep some time later. Today I wake up and see him getting dressed. I look him in the eye and ask him where he was last night, he froze and left the room without saying anything else. I chased after him and he wouldn't give me a clear answer, said it's none of my business and to stop being so nosy and leave him alone. He said all of that in an angry tone yet he was crying too. I don't know what to think. Was I out of line?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
GNtCJcoAukkoq5okA8dBrV04aLPwOPtq
|
avlkz4
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend for being unintelligent",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend for being unintelligent
|
Me and my girl have been together for around 9 months now and I'm slowly starting to feel like this may not be the relationship I envisioned. We've always talked about how much we're looking forward to spending the future together and I genuinely meant it when we had the conversation.. However I'm starting to feel like that's out of reach.
I feel like we are unable to have any conversation with the slightest bit of common knowledge or intelligence applied.. and before you all jump on me for being up myself hear me out! I told her I was watching Bohemian Rhapsody yesterday and she proceeded to ask me what that was, after I explained all she had to say was 'who is Queen?'. Just to give a few more examples, she's never heard of: Morgan Freeman, Marilyn Monroe, Barack Obama (from the UK), Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos. I know it sounds like a petty thing to be mad at but she genuinely has no reference to any pop culture or the desire to have a conversation that isn't about the current affairs of other people in her life. Whenever I try and talk about anything that isn't 'gossip' she shrugs it off.
We were out for drinks the other night and I'm a pretty sociable person and like to chat about things that interest me from planes (she's cabin crew) to animals or machines, I was talking about everything possible that had an interesting thing and the best I got all night was a 'Hmm' before she reverting to complaining about how somebody in her life was doing something wrong inevitably.
I'm not saying she's a bad person because the idea of losing her kills me, I just feel like we're incapable of having a conversation about anything that has any meaning.
I know I'm going to get replies about how she may not be interested in the same things I am but we really do have a close bond and I feel like there really isn't anything she has as a hobby other than judging other people life affairs.. and I'm not down for that.
As far as she knows everything is perfect in the relationship as I have been trying my absolute hardest to make things work, but would I be the asshole to break up with her out of the blue?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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NOBODY
|
{
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RIGHT
|
xoVHEPl6TwgFP06TKrmaNkhqpYHS4ShW
|
9vrite
|
{
"description": "wanting my boyfriend to stay in town",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my boyfriend to stay in town?
|
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 5 months now. We’re both seniors in high school and plan to have a future together when we graduate.
Our relationship has been going through some hardships right now and I’m currently not allowed to hang out with him due to my strict parents.
Well, my 18th birthday is next Saturday, and it was something I was really looking forward to, because we haven’t been able to go out and do something for about a month or so. I figured that on my 18th birthday my parents wouldn’t deny my request to go and do something with him, so it made it even more special to me.
However, he recently got invited on a trip with his old boy scout troop and it happens to fall over the day of my birthday. When he first told me I was visibly upset, because I really was looking forward to spending that day with him. We got into a rather big argument over it and he claimed I was being inconsiderate. He also mentioned that it was his last trip with all his childhood friends and old troop leader and that we could do something for my birthday as soon as he got back. I eventually just let it go and told him I was fine with him going, even though it still really makes me sad. I tried to not be selfish and understand that we can just celebrate my birthday when he gets back.
But AITA for being upset/mad in the first place? AITA for wanting him to skip the trip to spend my birthday with me?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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apzybu
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{
"description": "making my girlfriend cry on her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for making my girlfriend cry on her birthday
|
So it’s my girlfriends birthday , and we go out for a nice meal with her family and celebrate.
I’m tired and I still go out and put on a big smile for the girl I love.
Anyway we get home and she’s saying all the guys that have popped up and said happy birthday (which I don’t mind) but there’s this one guy that I don’t particularly like, reason being every time I’m with my gf he refuses to acknowledge my existence , so I bring this up this is how the conversation went
Her- X said happy birthday to me today
Me- that’s nice
Her- u don’t seem happy what’s the matter
Me - nothing just tired
Her - ye well he said happy birthday and stuff and said he can’t wait to see me when I go turkey soon
Me - ye I’m happy for u but I gotta say I don’t really like X
Her - why
Me - he doesn’t acknowledge me at all when he knows I’m there just like doesn’t even want to know me
So this goes on for a while and finally I come up with a solution I’ll give her a scenario were the roles are reversed and we can see if she would see it then. No she doesn’t instead she comes out with this.
Her - U don’t have any mates that are girls.
Me- yes I do.
Her- no u don’t. And if u don’t like it u know where the door is that’s my opinion I know u don’t have any mates that are girls.
Me - okay then. ( knowing it’s her birthday we can discuss it some other time)
Her - again if u don’t like it I don’t care u know where the door is.
So naturally I use the door and on my way out I say “ I don’t even have control over my own life, I feel like a puppet” but now she’s crying saying I’ve ruined her birthday and how I always seem to do this. Am I the asshole ?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b4x6tx
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{
"description": "not wanting to have sex after my bf tells me I never \"try to be sexy\"",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to have sex after my bf tells me I never "try to be sexy"?
|
For the second time my boyfriend has described me as "never doing anything sexy", not "trying to be sexy."
Last night after a couple of glasses of wine, we we're headed to bed and I turned him down for sex, let him know how demoralizing this was to me, and how completely turned off I was by this idea.
It was like I purposely blue-balled him or something, he just hopped into bed that night thinking we'd be adhering to some nightly sex routine after he'd casually said something like that.
FYI: We have a fairly normal and even adventurous sex life, but no I don't spend my money on silk teddies, and no I'll never call him daddy.
Can someone please explain this logic to me?
Is this the toxic male perspective?
Why can't he just find me sexually appealing because we share our lives together, like I do him?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
aycrdw
|
{
"description": "not paying repair after breaking someone's phone screen",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I don’t pay repair after breaking someone’s phone screen?
|
This happened just minutes ago. So I was sitting in the class and the dude (I don’t know him) put his phone behind me (he knew it had a chance of dropping, but kept it there for it to charge) .At one point, I fall back and by mistake drop his phone on he floor breaking its screen, he was very angry and said I must pay for it. WIBTA if I don’t pay him for his repair?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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n0sNjVsnP78ecbXtBHcQxwPJBbJamsco
|
ap1yk9
|
{
"description": "wearing a sweater my friend told me not to",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wearing a sweater my friend told me not to
|
Obviously a bit deeper than the title alludes. Basically on New Years a friend made matching sweaters for a lot of people in his friend group. I’m new to it but he made me one when he didn’t make one for some other people who have been there longer than me. He told me not to wear it because it might hurt their feelings so I didn’t. It got really cold later into the night and I finally caved and put it on around 2AM when there only about seven us left hanging around. Evidently, one of them was someone who was not supposed to see me in the sweater.
He just texted me now (almost two months later) saying that it was very uncool of me to wear it when he told me not to. I guess the person either confronted them about it or something else so I guess it was a bigger deal than I thought.
I don’t really have an excuse other than that I was cold because he did tell me not to wear it. Although I don’t see it being as THAT big of a deal. But I feel pretty bad. So am I the asshole for not listening and potentially made someone else feel left out? Or is this whole situation not a big deal and I’m really overthinking it? Both?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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avsm1p
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{
"description": "not giving my husband the details he wants about a past relationship",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving my husband the details he wants about a past relationship?
|
Before I met my husband I was in a short, but tumultuous, relationship with another woman. While there were things I admired about her she had a very dark side and did some very cruel things to me which I’m still trying to get over.
When I opened up to my husband and started to tell him about these things, I noticed he was actually getting excited hearing about it (though he tried to hide it), so I closed off and wouldn’t tell him anymore.
For years he has badgering me for more details about the things she would do to me, but I refuse because I don’t like how he reacted the first time. He keeps pressuring me though, saying it will help me work through it. And he says it’s not right for me to keep things from him.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
azzu8l
|
{
"description": "having a preference for lighter skinned women on my tinder profile",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA For having a preference for lighter skinned women on my Tinder profile?
|
I know immediately that people are going to assume I'm racist. I don't believe I am though. I have nothing against any races at all. However, I don't find darker skinned chicks attractive. It's not about race or ethnicity. I find many lighter skinned black women attractive. And I also don't find very dark skinned Indian (just as an example) women attractive. It's not a choice, or anything I can help, it's just the way it is.
Now to the actual story. I use Tinder frequently and I have in my bio "No very dark skinned chicks". Whatever, it's rarely been an issue. But I matched with this chick, let's call her "Sandy" and she was drop-dead gorgeous (and from the best I could tell, she appeared to be light-skinned African American). Anyways, we started messaging a bit and things were going fine, when she asked me if I had something against black chicks. I told her no, I'm just more attracted to lighter skinned chicks. She flipped out on me, calling me a racist and a few other names. I admit, I lost my temper and called her some names too (no, not the kind you're thinking). After a short back and forth we haven't been in contact again.
I'm not sure how to feel about it all tbh, at first I felt okay with it but now I feel like maybe she was justified. Was I the asshole in the situation? Is it wrong to not be attracted to a certain complexion?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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S6YVnLQ5B8gqNM9Xz82HxR24HNGLa5IC
|
agvewl
|
{
"description": "taking a gym in Pokemon go",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking a gym in Pokemon Go?
|
Okay, so this literally just happened and I am simultaneously livid and scared. A little bit of backstory, I work part-time as a Grubhub driver, and I mostly work late at night. My market is pretty new, so I don't usually get many orders. While I'm waiting for orders to come in, I usually fire up the POGO app and drive around to some of my town's PokeStops and gyms to battle, get stops and catch new Pokemon (don't worry, I'm not playing while driving). My wife is usually with me during my late night shifts because buddy system and all that jazz, and sometimes my sister and her husband will join us on the really slow nights.
Tonight was one of those slow nights where the four of us were out during my shift. Right near the end of the shift, we drove around to a few stops and got some gyms. We pull up to one of the gyms and park. It's owned by a Valor player (the four of us are Mystic). Cool, he left like a tiny little CP 160 or something Skorupi to guard the gym. We take it over, pull closer to some of the surrounding PokeStops, everything is peachy.
​
After nearly two minutes, my Pokemon has returned to me. The four of us are joking around and my sister says jokingly "let's defend our honor!" So we pull back around to the gym and see that the same player had retaken the gym and left yet another low CP Pokemon there. We start battling because why not and this dude is standing outside the store where the gym is located, notices that we're the ones taking over the gym, and says "you know it's rude to take over a gym just after someone got it." We thought he was joking around with us so we all four just laugh.
​
It should be noted that none of us, save for a few select friends each, know any other Go players in our town. We were all initially happy to have seen the guy because we were just surprised to finally have met another player. But it turned out this guy was not being friendly. He was *pissed* at us. He started ranting to who I think was his SO that works at the store about how none of us knew basic respect. We didn't engage cause we were just shocked. So, we left our Pokemon at the gym and pulled away. We went to another couple of gyms still a little upset that this guy was that butthurt, but after about 15 mins or so, we'd kind of gotten back to our normal routine.
​
After a half hour, we decide to do some final stops on our way home, which allows us to pass by some of the gyms we'd already taken earlier. One of these gyms had been retaken by the dude from before. Now, this gym was fairly close to the one where we'd been at earlier, so we just figured maybe he'd been walking home and had taken it on his way. Then, I noticed one of the Pokemon I'd put at another gym had returned. This gym was a couple miles away from the gym we'd been at, but it was just close enough that we could see a small outline of the gym texture. We checked, and once again, it was the same guy. Just after that revelation, another set of our Pokemon came back from a gym we'd recently been to that was even farther away than the last. So we pull around to the gym where the dude had been, in an area where you couldn't actually see the store to make sure the dude couldn't see us and we started to retake the gym he'd gotten pissed at us over, so that we could see if he was still there or if he was tracking our movements and following us.
​
As we're fighting, a car pulls up behind us and parks, headlights still on, and just sits there. Then we notice that the Blissey he'd left there began being healed. After our battle was over, he sped around us and yelled at us (not sure what he said), and then pulled back into the store's parking lot, got out of his car, and stayed in the same place.
​
So it turned out the dude had followed us around the town. We still don't know if he'd actually followed us or if he just went around town looking for gyms taken by us, but I still think it's creepy and totally uncalled for. None of us meant any malice to anyone while we were playing, we were just having fun.
​
TL;DR: My wife, my sister, my brother-in-law, and I all went around my town playing Pokemon go, took a gym from a dude, he got pissed and followed us/tracked our movements for the next half hour, taking gyms from us in retaliation.
​
So I need to know, am I the asshole in this scenario?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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qaLqRXtVHQQdV2RuEYiKPBbWEaieQBrs
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b1u632
|
{
"description": "siding with my dad after he berated my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 90
}
|
AITA for siding with my dad after he berated my girlfriend?
|
My dad has always been hard on me but he’s always seen to it that I’m taken care of. He’s allowed my girlfriend and I to live in a home that he owns, rent free. I’m working on getting my own place soon but since I just graduated from college it’s kind of hard to afford my own place. My girlfriend adopted a shelter dog recently. Her previous owner neglected her and she spent most of her life in a cage. Since she was neglected she was never house trained and she can be destructive around the house. When my girlfriend and I leave for work she’ll claw at the door and leave scratch marks and leave bite marks on some of the furniture. My girlfriend wasn’t aware the dog had these problems but she did know she needed to house train it. When my dad learned about this he was pissed and he told my girlfriend to get her dog under control and that until it’s trained she either has to cage it or leave it outside in the cold because he doesn’t want it messing up his house. Since she spent most of her life in a cage my girlfriend doesn’t want to cage her dog but he told me to make sure this rule is enforced.
Yesterday my dad told me he was coming over to talk to me about some things and to check on the house. My girlfriend has been slacking on training her dog so she still not house broken and destructive and I haven’t been enforcing my dad’s rule. I tell my girlfriend that she’s going to need to cage the dog until my dad leaves but she refuses. My dad comes over and sees the dog not caged and he asks me if it’s trained and she tells him it is. Things are going well until my dad sees the dog chewing some furniture. He yells at the dog and this causes her to pee herself revealing that the dog is still destructive and not house broken. My dad begins going on a tirade calling my girlfriend a lying bitch and telling her that he’s going to throw her and her damn mutt out. Throughout him yelling at her I stay quiet and don’t intervene. He tells me he’s disappointed in me because I betrayed his trust. I tell him I’m sorry and that from now on the dog will be caged. After he leaves my girlfriend is in tears because I didn’t say anything while he was yelling at her but mostly because I sided with my dad and will now be enforcing his rule. I think caging a dog who spent most of its life in a cage is cruel but it’s my dad’s house and he can make the rules.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
OmtLnTyIl4VcHJnUo1WjQVVhxXuJIDbK
|
aukpku
|
{
"description": "telling my friend about someone's bad comment about her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for telling my friend about someone's bad comment about her?
|
I've been friends with this girl for about 2 years. Let's call her Miri. Miri is a nice person with a good personality, decent looks and she's got fairly thick skin. If we leave everything aside, she has a thin unibrow that most people don't like about her appearance and ridicule her.
One day, in a lesson she was absent at, i heard a boy from our class say something along the lines of "Miri should shave that unibrow, it's ugly as hell." I of course got mad but i didn't want to get in a fight so i didn't say anything. I was boiling the whole lesson.
After Miri came back, i told her: "i don't care if it's gonna hurt you, i need to tell you this." And i proceeded to tell her about that boy's comment. She looked hurt but i knew that she was hiding it and she just laughed it off. That laugh was artificial. She didn't talk that much to me that day and told me that we should go separate ways to our houses, instead of going together.
After school, she texted me that she shaved the part in between her eyebrows, but she didn't sound so happy about it. I think she got driven to the breaking point, and i don't know if i had a role in it.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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9i3u9uWzdnvFJC5CXIBVbo1ej6zyVTZd
|
azmqp3
|
{
"description": "being mad at my family for giving my college brother so much",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my family for giving my college brother so much?
|
To begin, I'm very privileged already, and I know that.
My brother is in college right now, and I'm in high school in the IB program, which is a program that lets high schoolers take college courses and get credits. It started with my parents getting my brother a Macbook, because he needed it in college, and I understood that and I was excited for the day I could get one too when I got into college.
Then they got him a desktop monitor to use, because he complained that the screen of the Macbook screen was too small so he couldn't see very well. Alright.
Then they bought him a tablet, because he didn't want to watch his anime on his Macbook so he could watch it on his tablet instead. Okay. College is stressful and he needs time off.
Yesterday, they got him an iPad, because he said that the iPad had a thing where he could touch the screen with his fist and it didn't spaz out like the tablet does. That's the only reason.
I have a seven-year-old Dell that can hardly load a webpage or open, and has a difficult time connecting to the wifi when I need to do my homework. They say that this is only fair because he's in college and my mom screamed at me for being upset.
I'm just so angry with the unfairness. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
zAm3FY88BXqooPU74xCpjsaGRhsQB2bS
|
akv63b
|
{
"description": "not going home to help my mom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going home to help my mom
|
TLDR at end. Sorry if this is a mess not typically the best writer.
So a little information to know before we get into the current situation, I (25m) live in Georgia and my mother (66f) lives in Colorado by herself and my dad died 4 years ago. She bought a new house 2 years back and the inspector lied about a lot of issues with this house. The floors and basement water pipes being the two major issues. She isn't hard for cash and is extremely picky about how things are done to the point that she will kick workers out of the house or call their company and complain if they are even 10-15 minutes late. This had made getting people to complete the repairs from the poor inspection increasingly difficult to complete due to her high standard.
Now with that background out of the way comes my conflict of moral. She calls me crying tonight asking for help and demands I come home asap to fix the house and reduce the clutter. She demanded that I take 1-3 weeks off to help as a weekend wouldn't be enough time. When I asked her to explain what needed to be done so I could ask for time off she told me not to worry about it till I get there and to take a leave of absence if I don't have the vacation time. This means it could range from filing papers for her business to recarpetting the basement of her house.
She didn't like that I needed info to plan and told me that I was a disrespectful child who never supported her and that since my dad died I have been "too busy" to come home, which in all fairness finishing my degree and starting my career did take a bit of a priority.
I have been out to see her a couple times but it ended in fights between us due to her wanting me to put in 3 10-14 hour work days and not see any of my old friends I grew up with. To her, my visits are purely for me to make up for not doing chores for her since I moved out and she expects me to solve all her problems without telling me them first. I still plan to get out there, but I am not trying waste vacation time on it since it will most likely turn into a weekend of her emotionally abusing me followed by months of phone calls saying that I am a failure as a man and a son cause I couldn't sacrifice my career for her happiness.
TLDR; mom lives across country alone, calls asking for help with ridiculous terms, I say I'll help but need to know what's in store for me, she gets mad and I decide to put little to no effort into going home.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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sdBds5trtI28RCeNgUgtGWBDVJXp7HWb
|
9yie9f
|
{
"description": "thinking people shouldn't be allow to use the elevator to go up one Floor",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA For Thinking People Shouldn't be Allow to Use the Elevator to go up One Floor
|
Today I was taking the elevator up six floors to go to class. We had to stop so this larger girl could get on and go up ONE FLOOR. Our school literally has ramps that go up between floors. If the stairs are too much she could literally take the ramp. It might do her some justice anyway. I always understand when injured people use it and go up one floor. It's different because they physically can't go up any other way. I only use the elevator because I don't want to be sweating by the time I go to class, and I run a few miles every morning so my legs are already pretty tired.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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WRONG
|
MWVAKfITqyO3hkdmsY2q3f0nR0RTgIBj
|
azozjr
|
{
"description": "not giving friends discounts",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving friends discounts?
|
TL;DR at bottom.
So I'm a freelance graphic designer who trys to do my best juggling design work, full time job, marriage and two dogs. I'm a procrastinator but I'm passionate about my art.
My best friend of over 15 years has only worked for 3months in her entire life, comes from money and has a husband who takes care of everything. She's an awesome gal, just a bit... Spoiled?
Years ago I did the invitations for her wedding and never got a dime for it. I lived on my own and was struggling financially with bills, college and general living expenses. I considered the design work for those my wedding present to them since I couldn't afford much else. Then the printing cost came up. I ended up spending over $160 in printing and specialty envelopes that she wanted. I ate a lot of ramen for the next few months.
About a year after the wedding she wanted to try to get together a business plan and approached me about branding. I was upfront about the cost thing this time, she agreed and I did my thing. After creating a Mascot, Logo, Icon, Color scheme and business card concept... She decided she didn't want to do that business anymore so she didn't see a point in payment.
Now on the newest gig. Again, she has a business idea. This time shes already started it so I know it's happening. I've revised the logo for her around 6 times now and have kinda lost my drive for it. I told her revisions cost extra after the first 2 times (if its the customer changing their mind constantly, i fix my mistakes for free) and she kinda got huffy about it.
She asked if I charge my family for things and saying 'it's just small touchups so why charge extra?' I mean, I know she's my friend and practically like family to me at this point, but am I an asshole for treating her like a regular client? Should I give her some slack as my friend and just except it as just another piece to pad a portfolio??
TL;DR Have a friend who wants design work, things I shouldn't charge her full price for it since we're good friends.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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uYbrAHoTCdxl6LUO1CodAg3jubhKYrZA
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aq03rv
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{
"description": "shunning one of the dogs that I lived with in order to keep another dog happy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I shunned one of the dogs that I lived with in order to keep another dog happy?
|
I wasn’t quite sure how to phrase the title but I’ll give a little background information.
Back in November 2011 my family (me, mom, grandma, aunt, and cousin 1) got a 5 month old Silky Terrier names Barley from my other cousin 2. My cousin 2’s boyfriend had gotten her the dog but her mom didn’t want a dog at their place so they asked us if we could keep it and we said yes.
I had never had a dog before so I instantly fell in love with this little. This dog would pee on top of the staircase when anyone got home because he got so excited. He’d run around and make you chase him with his toys. He’d play hide and seek with me and then would lick me when I was on the ground. He was a good boi and I have a lot of good memories with him. He’s a gentleman now.
Then in Dec 2014 we moved to a different house. My cousin 1 that lived with me moved out because she got married, but then a year later moved back in. Then out of the blue, without asking anyone she just brings home a dog, a Terrier-Poodle mix named Sammy, around 4 months old at the time. We couldn’t say no, nor would we because she’s our family.
From what I was told, Sammy had been “returned” by her previous owner so when my cousin got her this dog was all about getting attention because she had been traumatized since she was abandoned. So much that whenever my cousin 1 would try to leave for work, Sammy stands in her way so she won’t go.
Anyhow, Barley had never really interacted with another dog and so when Sammy came about, she absolutely just bullied him. She was a puppy so she nip at him and just bark and harass him. We tried to get her to stop when we saw her, but obviously we’re not always with the dogs. Every toy Barley had or got from now on was *hers.* If he got a toy, the moment he’d drop it she would take it and wouldn’t let him have it. Any time that Barley got attention, she’d shove herself between Barley and who was petting him and make you pet her. She would just tire him out and he couldn’t do anything. Whenever I saw it I would tell her to stop and force her away so he could have space since she always got in his face. We figured that by 2017 he was just starting to get old so his energy levels were evening out and he just didn’t want to play anymore. I will accept full judgement for this lapse in judgement.
I’m sure you’re probably thinking “Oh jackthejot is just a bad owner” but the thing was that Barley was OUR dog and Sammy was my cousin’s dog. I was the one who had trained Barley, my cousin basically trained Sammy for a few weeks and just let it be. It’s basically now that Sammy pees everywhere, poops everywhere, eats Barley’s food, etc. We’ve spoken with my cousin 1 but it feels like she doesn’t care about her anymore. Sammy will go months without a haircut, she’s pretty fat now, and unfortunately has just become another inconvenience that we live with. I personally feel like I can’t say anything because I don’t pay rent (because I was going to college and I paid out of pocket then got cancer after I graduated so those bills were my concern) and my cousin 1 does, which she has brought up before.
Anyhow, back to the present.
Yesterday I noticed that Barley was alone in the living room. I sat on the ground and I called him over, and he came wagging his tail looking pretty happy. I started to let him and scratch him and he just looked pretty happy so I grabbed a toy and we played “Keep Away”, the first time in years. He was growling at me, tail and butt in the air, ready to jump and run around if I got close to him. After we played I laid on the ground and he came to lick my face and my hair, just like the good times. I even called my wife over so she could see this since it didn’t really happen anymore. We played a little more where he chased me and it was like I was a teenager and he was a puppy again. Then, we accidentally squeaked the toy and suddenly Sammy came running out of the basement to grab the toy. Toy in mouth, she barked at Barley and he just sat there. I used my arm to force her away so he could have space, and tried to pet him but again she got in between. Barley walked away, jumped on the couch to his spot and just laid down, looking as sad as ever.
Then it really hit me, I had my suspicions, that Barley can’t enjoy himself with Sammy there. She is a total attention hog and just bullies him and my family just plays it off as “dogs will be dogs” and I resent her for it.
But I feel terrible that I do. She’s just a dog, but I just want to love and play with Barley. Today I sat next to him and just started to scratch him and he was loving it. Sammy then came over and looked at me. I ignored her. Then she laid on my leg, inched closer, rubbed her head against my arm, I continued ignoring, then she jumped on my arm and I felt so bad I had to pet her too. I mean, she’s just a dog after all.
Would I be the asshole if I purposely shunned Sammy to make sure that Barley got the attention that he deserves and obviously still wants?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "getting a friend a Christmas gift",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I got a friend a Christmas gift?
|
I'm not very good at social situations.
One of my best friends is struggling a lot. (A very recent development.)
The Christmas season is coming up, and I can't think of a person more deserving of some kindness. She has been by my side through so much.
I messaged her today and asked her what her preferred shopping spot is for groceries. She gave me the name, and asked why. I told her I was just getting my Christmas list together.
She messaged back "Dont get me anything. I can't afford gifts this year." I told her not to worry about getting us anything in return, that she has been an amazing friend for the past fifteen years, and she has done a lot to support (emotionally) me through a really tough time, and we wanted to show her how much her friendship meant to me.
That was yesterday. She hasn't answered since.
I don't want to make her angry, and I don't want her to feel disrespected, but I know she could use the help right now.
We wanted to get her a $100 grocery gift card, a $100 gas card, and some basic necessities that I know she needs. It's not a whole lot, but it's my hope that it will help her out a little.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "being and at my friend for bailing on a trip to Europe",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being and at my friend for bailing on a trip to Europe?
|
Context: me and my friend are in highschool. Our school does trips to places (usually Europe) for like 2 weeks over March break. It costs around 5,000$ plus some spending money. We both signed up for this trip a couple months ago, and she just told me she wasn’t going.
When she told me she wasn’t going to be going on the trip, I was surprised and honestly angry, and I think my anger was sort of amplified because this came out of the blue.
So I asked her why she wasn’t going and she told me that she was worried she wouldn’t be able to find a job in time (the trip is next March) and that “she didn’t want to get to comfortable in a place where she wouldn’t be staying for too long”. Her words, not mine.
I, admittedly, didn’t take the time to think that maybe she wasn’t being entirely honest, and I told her that those reasons were horseshit.
She then said, and I quote, “well sorry but my parents aren’t just forking over 5000$ for me”
I’m paying for a lot of this trip myself. My parents aren’t just giving me the money. I think she has it in her head that I’m rich, which I’m not, at all. And whenever we get in an argument she passive aggressively mentions that I “get everything I want” which I don’t. I’m definitely not poor, and I am in a position of privilege, but not rich by any means.
When she said this, I took a minute and realized that her parents might not be able to help her pay for the trip at all, and she just didn’t tell me.
So I apologized to her for “freaking out” and told her it was fine if she didn’t want to go on the trip
BUT
I’m still kind of mad. Mostly at the “your parents hand you everything” jab. And I feel like she also should have apologized.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "waking up everyone at a party",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for waking up everyone at a party?
|
Ok so this is literally the most petty thing ever put on this subreddit,but I couldn't find a better one so here goes.
I was at a party with a bunch of friends,and we were all staying the night. For context,there were two bedrooms,one for girls and one for boys with a toilet in between the two. At one point during the night I went to go use the toilet after another boy,and found he hadn't flushed. When I finished,I flushed the toilet and went back to bed. The next day when I woke up,both of the girls at the party told me that I shouldn't have flushed because it woke them both up at like 2 in the morning. I argued that it would have been worse if I had left it and allowed someone else's bathroom to start to stink,but the were adamant that it was worth it not to wake them up.
Was I right,or were they?
​
​
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aoq49v
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{
"description": "wanting to cut my ties with a close friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA - Wanting to cut my ties with a close friend
|
So one of my childhood friend recently (by recently i mean like 4 years) stop do anything with me, if we do anything together it is always me calling it, hell I'm the only one that even initiates a conversation. He always has been the introverted type but it feels like im the only one who cares. So recently i called him out for it and i told him about all this stuff and all he says is that he is busy, but i don't think even once he asked me to do anything with him in at least 5 years, im tired and don't know what to do, I really want to cut him off but i see him on a bimonthly basis at parties i have to go to, am I wrong for wanting to cut him off?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b2hy4h
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{
"description": "waking up my flatmate in the morning",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for waking up my flatmate in the morning
|
In January I moved to a new apartment with a girl who I knew and we were kind of friends but through weird family connections and university. I worked full time until recently so I would usually wake up until 7.30/8am.
I woke up around that pretty consistently and my flatmate would complain about filling the kettle in too loudly so I changed that and she already complained to me that her previous flatmate was too loud in closing the door in the morning so I shut the door as quiet as possible. This past weekend I got up a bit earlier because of a competition and she's been slamming doors because I woke up too early and woke her up too (like bottling the kettle, using the microwave and using the bathroom).
Yesterday she gave me a talk and was like we need to change things and hinted that I shouldn't boil the kettle and I shouldn't use the microwave because they're both too loud and I'm shutting the door too loudly. I explained to her that I need some food in my stomach before leaving and usually I just drink a cup of warm milk and boil some water to take to work. But she wasn't happy with that explanation and just said is there no way we can fix this and tbh I had no idea at this point what I can fix since a lot of sounds are beyond my abilities to control. I told he I'm sorry I wake up early but that I preferred waking up earlier and suggested ear plugs would help and I'll definitely be more considerate. I also explained that I get woken up by her when she leaves earlier than me and she just said 'well I knew you were awake so I was loud'. She continued hinting that this is her last year of bachelors and she wants everything to go smoothly. She explained that I'm negatively impacting on her life when she gets woken up she's angry and she doesn't feel happy even if its 10-30 minutes earlier and then she'll oversleep because of me being so loud and it impacts her whole day and she can't study well.
She then said would you take the apartment and I'll move you and I politely declined because the apartment is pretty filthy to the point of irreversible damage (sun damaged carpet, kitchen walls with oil stains and things stuck, parts of kitchen ventilator broken etc.).I told her that I'll move out by June and she looked very unhappy so I'm already looking at the apartments available and I'm set to move probably by next weekend.
This is my first time flatting and I didn't mind having to do the chores because she never cleaned or vacuumed or anything in general. She'll leave unwashed dishes in the sink/dishwasher for days or weeks even if she's home all day. She'll cut her fringe in the bathroom and leave pieces of hair all lying around and I just don't bother telling her and just clean it up.
​
TL;DR Would I be the asshole for waking up my flatmate too early and then wanting to move out because she complained to me and gave me a talk hinting that I'll be the reason that she's gonna fail university?
|
HISTORICAL
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| null |
AITA - Teacher calls me a “pushy know it all”
|
In my class, I knew the answer to a question. I had to wait for 10-15 minutes.
Finally, I was called on. I answered the question correctly.
(In this lesson I had also provided facts about the person we were studying because my teacher had asked for them.)
After class, I was told to stay behind, and informed by my teacher that I was acting like a “pushy know-it-all”. When I began to ask about what I did that made her think that, I was interrupted my her and told that I “might make more friends if I stopped acting like that”.
Am I the asshole?
(PS: I am happy to provide more information if you want to know more about the situation ☺️)
(PPS: This is my third attempt to post this! I’m sorry if they have already sent through, or if they load after I post this. However, my device says that they didn’t post.)
(Edit 1: Looked like a wall of text)
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
{
"description": "getting upset at my coworker about his cat story",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA - For getting upset at my coworker about his cat story?
|
Some background info - I am young in my field by 20+ years. My colleague's are all old enough to be my dad's and as such, I put up with a lot of teasing and razzing from them in that spirit.
Recently, I adopted two cats. I have never had pets before and I have been so excited to have them in my life. This was my first time working since we adopted them so I was excited to share the news about them.
This lead my coworker (Bob) to say how much he hates cats and essentially saying that I am silly for caring that much about them. He's aware that I'm not really up for having kids, so this is as close as I'll get. He has dogs, children and grandchildren, and talks about them a lot. I had mentioned them maybe 3 times in 18 hours.
Last night we were walking back to our hotel, and my boyfriend sent me a video of one of the cats coming out and exploring and I got so excited and said "Awe he's coming out exploring! That's so good!"
Bob then tells me how his SiL had a cat and it scratched and bit his Grandson so they let it out in the woods for Coyotes to get it.
I was appalled. The rest of the conversation goes as this:
Me: What the hell? You killed a cat because it scratched your grandson?
Bob: Well I didn't do it, my wife did! I wanted to shoot the damn thing. [Laughs]
Me: You could have rehomed it! Some cats don't do well with kids because they are grabby. A childless person could have given it a new home.
Bob: Well it scratched my grandson, so it had to go
Me: Fine, I get that, but sending it out to die because it doesn't know better?
Bob: It's just a cat
Me: It's a living domesticated animal! Should we send you out to die when you do something stupid? No!
Bob:[Laughs]
Me: And that's why people don't deserve fucking animals to assume that a cat would just do well with children and let it out to die because you're a fucking idiot.
And I stormed off. Haven't seen or spoken to him since.
I got upset. Him and I have worked closely for two years. He knows I'm an animal lover. He knows how excited I am for these cats as we've been looking to adopt for a few months now, but that I am also very nervous that we won't do a good job. And to follow up my good mood about my cat with a story like that upset me to no end. I had shared my adoption news with a few coworkers who have cats to ask questions and had been dealing all day with people telling me how much cats suck and they hate them. This pushed me off the edge.
I called my boyfriend after and he tried to reason with me that Bob's Grandson is important to him and would do anything for him. Bob probably doesn't understand someone's love for an animal he doesn't care for and that maybe I was a bit harsh because I don't have kids.
Because of that convo I'm starting to feel bad, and that I'm an asshole for getting mad at him.
So, am I?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "wanting to resell a gift my school gave me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to resell a gift my school gave me?
|
So my school is a private type school and they give out gifts at Christmas, I received a “Make your own working jet engine” kit. I honestly don’t think I will get any use out of it whatsoever and it will just gather dust. Am I the asshole for wanting to sell it? (Its worth £32)
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
"description": "wanting my mother to leave my alcoholic father",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my mother to leave my alcoholic father?
|
Long story short: my father is an alcoholic. I don't know when that exactly began, but my first memory is of him when I was like 8/9 and had to help him in returning back home (mom was on some sort of work trip). He used to drink a lot, especially when he lost his work, it was like all drink-sleep-drink. Now that he has a new work, it sort of improved but he is still drinking in the evenings and during weekends. He loses his shit often during the family meetings (I live in the region where alcohol is customary for such meeting).
​
​
I just think my mom could do so much better. She's intelligent and she still has much to live for. I realize that leaving father would be difficult because she lived with him for so long, and it's sort of constant in her life. I recognize that it's not always that bad but I wish she could know she doesn't have to put with the constant suspiciousness from father (i.e. he thinks that she must have multiple lovers) or generally that she could lead a more peaceful life, without having to put up with his insults, drinking, etc.
​
I mean, I like appreciate that it could be worse and he doesn't beat and stuff, but it's still uncomfortable. I just like sometimes push on mom to consider the divorce and then I feel guilty for that. I would love to know if I am an asshole on that or not.
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "telling my sister no when she wanted me to set up the wii",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my sister no when she wanted me to set up the wii?
|
My sister is going to be 24 this year and I just turned 19. For the past couple of years no matter how difficult the task, my sister would always ask me to set up things for her when it came to technology or manual labor. From setting up her iPhone with her new sim card to fixing her IKEA desk. I usually help her out when it comes to actually difficult tasks cause she's my sister but most of the time its for something extremely basic that everyone should be able to do. Examples being resetting the WiFi, plugging/setting up her printer, along with having to install whatever new thing she had just bought. But today I actually broke. My sister's usual response to me when I say "why don't you do it?" is "I don't know how to do it". It seriously pissed me off because that meant to me that she hasn't really tried and most likely wont. I fully understand her response when it comes to something difficult like a bed from IKEA but today she told me to set up the wii for her to which i replied "no". This then led to her yelling at me and telling me to do it, in which i replied the same way again. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b1x344
|
{
"description": "not allowing a little old lady to skip me in line",
"pronormative_score": 101,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not allowing a little old lady to skip me in line?
|
So I was waiting at Walgreen's pharmacy to pick up my medication for a cold/double ear infection/sinus infection straight-out-of-hell combo, and I was second in line. I was noticeably sick- runny nose, sneezing, coughing... but I was covering my face with a tissue and trying not to breathe on anyone. A little old lady (maybe in her 80s?) comes up behind me and asks if I'm sick. I thought she was being empathetic, so I gave her a small smile and said, "Yes, unfortunately I am." She replies, "Oh, well I don't want to get sick. You don't mind if I go ahead in front of you in line, right?" and then she starts to walk in front of me.
​
I was kind of taken back by what she was doing, so I said, "Actually, *since I'm sick*, I think I should probably go first so I can get my medication and head home to get in bed" and then re-took my spot in line. She looked really shocked and shook her head incredulously and started muttering to herself about how rude I was.
​
AITA here? I feel as though she thought she could just break all rules of civilization simply due to her age.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
aru3ch
|
{
"description": "getting made at my gf for looking at my phone",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting made at my gf for looking at my phone?
|
So the other day my girlfriend of 6 months bring dinner to my apartment. I have roommates and she likes to cook brownies for them.
we are in the kitchen and she tells me to text the group chat letting them know she brought brownies. I say okay I'll get to that and put my phone down on the table and leave for something in my room. I come back and see her closing my phone.
I ask her what she was doing and she said she texted the guys for me already. Now my phone has a lock and she knows the password.(Usually I'll ask her to send a text if I'm driving or take a photo but she's never done something like this before and I was not happy about it.
I basically told her I don't like it when she texts people from my phone without me knowing. because it's kind my last but of privacy from her. I told her A simple "hey can I text the boys" would be nice. she then said she doesn't need permission to text from my phone and won't ask.
Am I the asshole for telling my gf she needs to ask to use my phone?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
ar9qg4
|
{
"description": "asking my boyfriend to wash his hands hands after using the bathroom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend to wash his hands hands after using the bathroom
|
I just recently noticed that my boyfriend of 4 years doesn’t wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Since I’ve noticed I’ve asked him to wash his hands. He still refuses to wash them without me asking him to. He claims that even though he just took a shit he doesn’t need to wash his hands because “his hands did not touch his ass hole” and that he does not need to wash his hands after he pees because “pee is sterile”
Am I the ass hole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
afoxvd
|
{
"description": "cleaning up our kitchen counter-top",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cleaning up our kitchen counter-top
|
I live with 3 roommates that I've been living with for about a year and a half. These guys are pretty messy so I usually clean up the kitchen after them, minus their dishes which they will clean themselves but I always have to put them away after drying. The other day one of them yelled at me for putting his stuff away. He claims that he has "trouble finding them" after I put them away in our cabinets and that "putting them away [himself] would take too long". It's not that we don't have enough cabinet and drawer space he just refuses to clean up after him self. I'm completely fine cleaning up after them and even suggested re-organizing our cabinets so he could find them easier. However he said he talked with our other 2 roommates and I'm apparently "outvoted" as they refuse to let me clean up after them as well. I posted a link to what I feel like is an average representation of what our kitchen looks like with me not cleaning. Would I be in the wrong with going ahead and cleaning up anyway.
https://imgur.com/a/Qr05TGk
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
GLfjlsLpiWkC31mU9VwjtrAj4w3xtecf
|
ajdzch
|
{
"description": "wanting an autistic kid kicked out of my class",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting an autistic kid kicked out of my class?
|
Disclaimer: i’m not sure if this kid has autism per say but it’s clear that he has some kind of social disorder. I’m not very knowledgeable on disorders or anything like that so forgive me if I mislabel something.
I’m taking a physics course on college and it requires me to pay attention as I am trying to apply for medical school later and need good grades.
There is a kid in my class who I believe to be slightly autistic or something in terms of social behavior. He’s a super bright kid though and i’m not mocking his intelligence in anyway.
However, though he may be intelligent, he constantly disrupts class by interrupting the professor either by proclaiming out loud how he did the work while the professor is speaking, telling us his every action (i.e. going to the bathroom), solving the problem before the professor is even finished explaining it to the rest of us, constantly bragging about how he is in advanced level math classes and physics is easy for him, or telling us pointless information that isn’t pertaining to the lecture.
I want to perform well in this course and I enjoy physics but this kind of disruptive behavior really drags my attention away from information I need to know/learn. He’s not a bad kid but he’s just extremely distracting to the rest of the class. With my schedule, I have no opportunities to switch class times. AITA for wanting him to not be in my class?
TL;DR: A kid with some kind of social disorder in my physics class is very distracting to the rest of the students and it’s prohibiting me from learning to the best of my ability. I don’t want him in the same class as me because I need to perform well for med school.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
5XEm3LG49sZUDM4xQVieuyWaWlQdAi3n
|
b34g4k
|
{
"description": "telling my brother I don't want him to touch my stuff and accusing him of lying about not going to the toilet",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my brother I don't want him to touch my stuff and accusing him of lying about not going to the toilet
|
So my (17F) brother (19M) is pretty unhygienic. if I don't tell him to wash his hands, he won't do it. Sometimes he'll stroll into the toilet and leave the door wide open while he shits, when our mom and I are in the next room over and I'll have to yell at him to close the door. Sometimes he even doesn't flush the toilet and our mom and I have to be the unsuspecting victims.
He NEVER washes his hands after using the toilet and when I hear him come out of the toilet straight after flushing I have to ask him to wash his hands, and often he'll throw a strop and barely run his hands under water for 2 seconds. The other day I told him to wash his hands and he called me a whiney bitch and said he was going to shower in a few minutes anyway so it didn't matter. I've tried numerous times to tell him to make it a habit to wash his hands, I even hung a sign saying "Please flush & wash your hands" on the door.
Anyway my older sister who's moved out gave me a custom-made mug as a gift, one of those that has an image appear when it's filled with a hot drink. I was showing my brother like "yo this is so cool" and he said "let me see" and grabbed it out of my hand to look at it. I immediately got disgusted, took it back and said "don't touch it" and my mum was like "whoa you're brother and sister, why can't he see?" and I said "I don't mind [brother] looking but God knows where those hands have been, I'd rather he not touch anything of mine." He got offended and said he hadn't even used the toilet today and his hands were clean. First of all I didn't mention the toilet once. Secondly, you see earlier that day I had gone to the toilet and saw piss in it with the toilet seat up and he's the only guy in the house so I kinda assumed he was lying and said "So not only are you disgusting but you're a liar too." He stormed off and has been pissed with me since then.
I didn't think I was out of line at the time but I do feel guilty now and my mom said I was absolutely the one at fault here and because we're family it shouldn't matter whether he touches my stuff, and I overreacted and treated him like an outsider. My sister said I was at fault for "insulting his pride" instead of trying to help him improve himself. Sorry if this is trivial. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
PNha6NtGpDi6i1sbmdm9lqzGL89x9BUe
|
aljjfc
|
{
"description": "hiding weed from my parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for hiding weed from my parents?
|
I, 17M, just came home to an extremely angry mother. Apparently, she had found an empty package of weed gummies in my bedroom.
The package was hidden in a box, under some blankets, in another box in my room. Also inside the box were condoms and some other paraphernalia.
I was told that I couldn’t be trusted, and she pinned the package on the fridge. When I tried to refute the “trust” argument by saying that she invaded my privacy, she told me to get out of her sight and go to my room.
I feel like this should be a cut and dry situation, but she has been berating me pretty often for trust issues. For example I had a girl over unsupervised and came home drunk after a New Years Party.
So am I the asshole for keeping things from my parents? Is she the asshole for snooping? Neither? Both?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
qo5enORaCTgiRbUw1A17spDq64ZXva9O
|
akljwl
| null |
AITA Shouted at a supporter... of her mom
|
First, let me clarify a few thing relevant the story. I live in Israel, where there is a political party called Gesher (גשר meaning bridge) ran by Orly Levi Abekasis, who grew up in Bet She'an, in which the high school I learn in is located.
Anyways, last Thursday, we had a lecture about understand each other's point of view, and suddenly, a girl from the raw behind me stood up to show her Gesher sign.
Of course, I get annoyed and tell her (well, shout, more accurately) that "we get it, you support Orly Levi, this is not the for this!!"
Move forward a couple day, to a civic class, in which the teacher suggests that we bring a candidate to teach the class one lesson, due to the upcoming elections of 2019. Anyways, one of the student suggests Orly Levi, and he reveals something I didn't quite catch, later, one of the tutors (I go to a school for special needs student), who sat next to me, say that the student I shouted at was aperantly Orly's daughter.
TL;DR I shouted at someone in a conference for showing a shirt of a candidate, and a couple of days later I learn said candidate is her mother.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
PGM9BqZR55YiO8H6MOYclUtaXYuK63T7
|
ayc2iw
|
{
"description": "falling out with my friend because he's cheating on his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for falling out with my friend because he’s cheating on his girlfriend?
|
Pretty self explanatory. My male best friend has been cheating on his girlfriend, with random women and one women in particular that he has been having a semi relationship with behind her back. He promised me yesterday when they broke up that he wouldn’t get back with her because of it. I called him last night and he is still with her. I went through him about how disgustingly he is treating her. He said I was a bad friend because he wouldn’t judge me for that sort of thing. I have no loyalties to her so I don’t want to tell her but I’ve been cheated on too many times for me to agree with it. I just can’t get out of my head how heartbroken she will be when she finds out. He’s playing on her insecurities to make her stay with him. I may have went at him a bit too hard but I’m just so disgusted in his actions. He literally slept with this women he’s been seeing (she also has a boyfriend) and then slept with his girlfriend less than 6 hours later. I dunno what to do. He is my closest friend but I just cannot be friends with him if that’s how he treats women.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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