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LBjkQGAeW20HE5mMCEtlgYjgHfssr2cp
|
b30jh6
| null |
AITA .Newbie at the gym.
|
I have always felt conscious while I’ve started working out. Today I asked a guy if I could work in on a machine he was using. He said no and started looking at me in a weird way. He’s like just wait and took good 10 minutes while taking long periods of rest. I could’ve easily done my sets within the rest periods. Is it bad to ask people to work in or am I in the wrong.This made me feel that I did something wrong. Am I in the wrong here? I mean I wouldn’t ask to work in if someones doing squats or something where me working in will disrupts someone else’s work out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
cl7LM6EJTRvriT29haVlFcAPkBHMsfBH
|
b55dyd
|
{
"description": "not spending my Father's day with my biological father",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not spending my Father's Day with my biological father?
|
So, I need some help.
A little (lot) bit of background: I'm a 13 yo kid, who's going through some shit. My biodad (biological dad) was really abusive. He emotionally abused the fuck out of me and my family. For all of my life, and most of my brothers life (my brother's 18) my biodad ignored us, and when he wasn't, he would be yelling at us or bullying us. He would bully us like he was a middle school kid, not care about our problems, and mock us. He didn't care about my mother, either. My mother and my biodad separated in August and legally divorced in September, and he left in October (2018). Ever since he left to live with his mistress (just a theory that he was cheating, but its a little obvious) half way across the US, we haven't talked that much, which makes sense, we never really talked while he was here. My mom and my biodad had some disputes over the phone, but nothing much. We did have quite a dispute during December though, but not going to get into that.
My backstory TL:DR: My dad is an emotionally abusive motherfucker
The current problem:
So my family and I (me, my brother, my mom, and my step dad [not married yet but I really like him so I call him my step dad]) planned on making another visit to where they live during the summer, and spending all of June plus some days in the other months (May and July). He wanted to spend a weekend with us at the lake, and we were cool with that. We said the only date we wouldn't be able to go was the 15th and 16th (fathers day) because its my step dad's birthday. He didn't notice that was Fathers Day (we didn't either) and he said he was cool with the 22nd. He then looked at the calendar and realized that the 16th was Fathers Day, and IMMEDIATELY escalated the entire thing, and insulting my mother saying it was "fucked up" that she didn't remember. My mom tried to defuse the situation, offering the evening of the 16th, and he through a fit, and said that was ridiculous. He insulted my mother a bit more, blah blah, and the end result was him texting us saying "You guys really are cool with staying with some other dude than spending time with your own father?" and my brother and I went off on him, saying what we have wanted to say for a long time (i.e "my step dad is more if a father than you ever will be and ever was"), not holding back. He didn't respond, and told my mother "I get the message, keep them. I don't want to see them anymore." And that was that.
IF TOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE ASK. I KNOW I'M NOT GOOD AT EXPLAINING THINGS
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
pxNH7QCEKP4qRlFFvhJsn8DPPnZ6HA4W
|
b65lx1
|
{
"description": "taking back my husbands tip",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 22
}
|
AITA for taking back my husbands tip?
|
I grew up in the UK and moved to the US when I was 19 and have lived there for the past 14 years and married my husband who has always lived in the US. Recently I went back to the UK with my husband for a few weeks to visit family. While we were there we went out to a restaurant, not a super fancy one but it was nice enough. In the UK you never really leave a tip at a restaurant, it can be seen as rude and usually won't even go to the waiter/waitress, it will just be given to the restaurant. My husband only really knows the american way of tipping so left a £10 note as a tip. I told him not to and explained the reasons but he said it was only fair to. He left it on the table as we were leaving but I turned around to pick it up without telling him. I didn't want to be seen as rude and thought my understanding of tipping in the UK was better considering I grew up there and he had only been there once before.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 22
}
|
WRONG
|
AUFyjZeLDAYfMgVBeQyMUoUIAqacfSd6
|
b7bcng
|
{
"description": "telling my brother I wanted to hangout with him, not with him and his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I told my brother I wanted to hangout with him, not with him AND his girlfriend?
|
My brother\[M/23} and I\[F/21\] weren't really close growing up which I think stems from us growing up in a small town so he knew all my business and was basically the overprotective big brother (which I HATED). I moved 5 hours away right before I turned 18 and have been in the same city since. We've gotten closer over the past few years because we don't see each other that often.
My brother and his girlfriend broke up and got back together recently. I had free time this weekend before the finals crunch so I texted him last night to see if I could come up to his city (around 3 hours away) and spend the weekend with him and we could hangout. He replied with the fact that he's going to his gf's hometown to spend the weekend with her and her family (at this point, he spends more time with her family than with his own biological family but whatever). He said he could *maybe* come back to the city today and we could hangout. I told him to forget it and I'll see him sometime after easter since I'm unable to go home for easter this year. Him and his girlfriend offered that I could go up to her parents place and spend the weekend with them but the thing is, I want to spend time with my brother. Not with his girlfriend and her family. I've never met her family so I'd feel a little uncomfortable staying in their house since I haven't met them before.
I must add that we never really have brother/sister time. His gf is usually with him when we both are in our hometown visiting. I know that I have to suck it up since his girlfriend is now apart of everyones life but WIBTA if I told my brother that I wanted to spend time with him, not him **and** his girlfriend?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
s47QKrGIyJ7SFZv6jffaAYXJ7ms2vejN
|
b7xt0i
|
{
"description": "spilling the secret that my sister's husband was previously married",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for spilling the secret that my sister’s husband was previously married?
|
My brother-in-law had a brief marriage before marrying my sister a few years later. They’ve now been married for 15+ years and have 4 kids together. He didn’t have any kids with his first wife and has had no communication or relationship with her since they divorced years ago. It was such a blip that it never has come up socially in the family. I had no idea that my sister and her husband had decided not to tell their kids about this. ..
I was chatting with my OTHER sister’s kids (ages 9 and 17) who were asking me questions about dating and relationships and I casually mentioned, “Yeah, sometimes divorce is normal and okay. Uncle X is a great guy who just didn’t find Aunt Y until after his first marriage.” I immediately realized by the looks on their faces that this was news to them. My whole family is very conservative and religious. I told them to please keep this private as I wasn’t sure it was common knowledge.
Thinking I was doing the right thing, I reached out to my sister (the one married to the divorced husband) and told her what had happened. She blew up at me, told me how sad she was that I would take that liberty, and how confused her kids would be if they found out. I profusely apologized but also explained that I had no clue that they weren’t sharing that with their kids. That didn’t seem to make any difference to her. She really ripped into me and made me feel terrible. I called my husband in tears and he reacted saying that she was being unfair to lay that burden all on me. Regardless, she is hurt and feels betrayed by me and I feel terrible but also perplexed.
Honestly, I can’t believe they’ve decided not to tell their kids... seems much worse for her kids (ages 9-16) to find out so late in life than to just grow up aware of it? I KNOW I don’t get to decide that for her, but I also don’t feel like her anger is fair given she had NEVER told anyone in the family that this was under wraps. I told a close aunt and another sister what had happened, and they both reacted saying they had no idea it was under wraps and it could just have easily been one of them letting it slip.
So basically, I now live in fear my niece and nephew are going to tell their cousins that their dad was previously married, that it will shock them, and that it will be a terrible and somewhat traumatic way to find out. It’s too much to ask of a 9 and 17 year old to keep something like that a secret from their cousins IMO and I wish my sister would just tell her kids in a controlled, peaceful setting so they would ‘t have to risk finding out from their cousins!
AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
AEJRurHUwCA1v47uMnScbK6fzthy8tk4
|
b466vm
|
{
"description": "asking my wife to surprise me with whenever she gets pregnant",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my wife to surprise me with whenever she gets pregnant?
|
A little while after we got married, my wife wanted to know when we should start having children. I told her I am ready for kids even now, but I am obviously willing to wait for her to be ready. I asked her, however, to keep it a secret from me when she's ready for kids, as I like the idea of being surprised with the news. At the time, she loved this idea and got very excited, and found it analogous to how I kept the idea of proposing very secret from her until I actually asked her to marry me. She's always wanted children, but we knew that we wanted a few years to ourselves first.
Fast forward a few years, and several of our close friends and family members have started having children. I've also noticed advertisements showing up on amazon and pinterest regarding baby announcements and nursery remodels. Additionally, although my wife is on the pill, I haven't noticed her taking any of her pill medication in almost 6 months. We always go grocery shopping together, and picking up her prescriptions is just one task that she always assigns to me at the pharmacy while she browses the rest of the grocery store. Lastly, the amount of sex that we've been having has skyrocketed. There have been weeks when we would have sex almost every day, and many days it would be about twice a day.
However, she's not pregnant. I know because she still goes through her periods, and usually right after she has started her period she's usually okay with going out for drinks with friends, while she normally avoids it during the rest of the month.
I have this feeling that there is a possibility that she is trying to get pregnant, but is unsuccessful. Because I asked her to surprise me, she doesn't have anyone to talk to about this. I don't want to take away the potential for her to finally surprise me with something she's very excited to tell me, but I also want to be there for her in case she wants to talk about potential infertility issues. I have no idea if it normally takes this long to get pregnant when she's actively trying. My brother and his wife got pregnant literally two months after their wedding, and I often wonder if this weighs on her.
Am I the asshole for letting her go through this on her own in her attempt to surprise me? As a man, what can I do to help? Should I take any types of pills or supplements to increase the chances from my end that she won't tell me about?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 19,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KhfnSG0nyHxxI59NC2iReQqDkefv2a7n
|
9wugw3
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friend for telling me they left dinner as I got there",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend for telling me they left dinner as I got there?
|
I wanted to go with a couple of friends to dinner for one of my friends who was there. I asked if they were there and another had said they left, but not from where. I assumed they meant from home to there but when I got there I tried to make sure they were still there but then I'm told that they had left when I texted them at first. Turns out, they went straight from school to the resturant. Without telling me that was their plan. Ever. I got mad, telling her she should have said something about them being there straight from school. She said that I was getting mad for nothing. I said bye and canceled myself for the movie after that I had actually known about. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
tZ8QqF3uq0sD9g8tGO29QsG2vxiTAxYH
|
b1n09f
| null |
AITA my mother wants to build me a bunk bed and I don’t want it
|
Alright this is one of the few post I’ve ever made so if I’ve done something wrong let me know and I’m also on mobile
Heres some backstory. My mother seen some bunk bed lifts things on Pinterest and decide she wants one in my room. Now I do have to say my room is very small when standing in the middle of my room I can touch both sides of the walls and only have enough floor space to sit crisscross. Needless to say it’s small.
When my mother brought op the idea of a bunk bed I tried to indirectly say I didn’t care for it but I knew she was just trying to occupy herself with something because she unemployed and suffers from mental illness. So I said
“ you don’t have to worry about all that. It’s gonna be a hassle. I’m fine without it”
I would say this every time she brought up trying to get materials for the bed.
Well she came into my room and threw in a bunch of boards that she got from a friend. I brought up how she doesn’t really have the materials to do it such as something to cut the wood, she was just hoping that she could use some random sized/ type of wood and it would work out. I also said that I didn’t want her to build my bed because she’s never done something like this before and we live in a rental house. My mother got very upset and is crying in the other room and I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
PpC3ISBB20sU2U4sL97LoAhoNNGXuOPu
|
9xow0a
|
{
"description": "quitting my apprenticeship early",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I quit my apprenticeship early?
|
I work for a major company in the US as an apprentice, the duration of which changed from being scheduled for 2 years to 4 years. I've been there now for about 16 months and I just really dont like working there. There hasn't been a time in the last year where I've found myself happy with the job and while it pays well, I'm not happy at all when I go there. I'm not a major part of any of the projects there, I have no friends at the place, and I just dont find myself enjoying the work I do. I have the option to leave (without getting the degree) and I'm considering it.
​
Would I be a dick if I left? I feel like I'd be letting my coworkers down if I did.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rsCMSFQ8Pd3WyJO9SFZEogvD0HzrTsht
|
azmibe
|
{
"description": "bullshitting a girl who considers me a friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for bullshitting a girl who considers me a friend?
|
Basically, i met this girl ~5 years ago and she considers me her best friend, i've been trying to get rid of her for a while now but she's kinda useful, my memory sucks so she reminds me of pending homework and stuff and since we're in high school she always chooses me to make a duo in tests, homework and whatnot.
I don't like getting attached to people and for that matter, i want to be on my own as soon as i finish HS. Since we know each other for so long she always comes to me when she's in a bad mood, sometimes i ignore her messages, sometimes i give very vague advice, but today she said she can't control her feelings or some shit and she thinks i hate her and i don't see her as a friend which isn't that far from the truth but since i'm busy trying to read a book i pulled some stuff out of my ass saying something like "I see you as an example of what i should act like." But **WAY** more dramatic than that, just to shut her up, she does exactly that and she concluded that she's my best friend.
Is lying to make someone feel important and leave you alone really that bad?
[Small chat scrnshot]https://prnt.sc/mw2tww
Translated:
*Me: you decide what that means to you*
*Her: That i'm your best friend*
TL;DR: I let a girl look at me as her best friend through lies just to be let alone cause i can't be bothered to answer something useful to help her teenager insecurities.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
o1dNKUy62eKmpaNcCaBFMv5KYq6WGcv0
|
aa2i0b
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed at my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed at my mom?
|
I've been in college for half a year now, but for winter break I went back to my house. I have a healthy social life, and so far I've spent most of my time out of the house going to friends houses and family game nights. When I'm home, though, I play computer games as my leisure activity.
My mother has associated video games with everything eorng in the world for the longest time, and always asks in a sarcastic tone when I say I'm not going out "Well then what are you going to do staying at home, pLaY vIdEoGaMeS?"
Today, I was going to go to a friends house to play Smash Ultimate, when my mom said "What are you going to do there, pLaY vIdEoG-". Frustrated, I cut her off and said in an annoyed tone "YES". She then flipped her shit and said I cant use the car, and have to clean the entire house before going to his house.
AITA for getting annoyed? Does anyone else have a similar family situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2P7Xgng44g7c7BmhKscLNM4FOncy3R4t
|
a65mn9
|
{
"description": "trying to push my husband with Tourette Syndrome to use CBD Oil",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA - For trying to push my husband with Tourette Syndrome to use CBD Oil?
|
Throwaway account - My husband (31M) has Tourette Syndrome (TS) ([Link, in case you don't know what it is](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/tourette-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20350465)) and we’ve been together 12 years now, so I’ve seen how much it controls his life, and his is a mild case. Aside from his tic, he has OCD and can often have a major panic attack if he can’t grasp a concept or gets lost driving around, has to go somewhere unfamiliar, etc. (he gets very angry, where our son and I will have to avoid talking to him, etc. or he will blow up.) and it seems to be getting worse as we get older (not better as it tends to do). Over the last couple of years, he’s also stopped showing much emotion and due to emotional abuse from my parents, my brain convinces me he hates me (or maybe he does, idk.) He doesn’t get excited much anymore and, in a way, it’s killing me too. I feel like our relationship is suffering due to this and when I’ve asked him about it, he has said that if he gets too excited, etc. his TS acts up and he can start to tic uncontrollably. I’ve only witnessed this happen to him twice within and it’s very upsetting for anyone involved (his tic is a cough btw, so during one of these spells he literally cannot stop coughing. The only way he knows to “fix” this is to go to sleep. During the last spell, I tried to get him to smoke some of my oil, but he refused.) There are some treatments for TS, but while he was growing up there were essentially none and I think he still thinks that, during our 12 years together, he’s never taken any medication for his TS or had any treatment aside from what he does to try to control his tics on his own. Which includes chewing sugar free gum or sucking on sugar free cough drops constantly. He's been doing this so much that he has damaged the inside of his mouth from the cough drop being stored in his cheek- which is another major concern for me.
I (31F) suffer from chronic intractable migraines, basically I have migraines nearly all of the time and medication tends to give me zero relief. I’ve tried so many treatments to no avail and last month I gave CBD oil a try since it’s now legal in both the state we work in and live in. Medical MJ was also just legalized in the state we live in but NOT the one we work in and it has been shown to help with both TS and migraines, but because it’s not legal in our employers' state neither of us are seriously considering that route. Also note that both migraines and TS are neurological conditions.
Since I started taking CBD about a month ago, I’ve felt significantly better and instead of being in excruciating pain 24/7, I’ve only had about two really bad migraine days. I researched CBD oil a bit before taking it myself and looked into it for TS too and it’s looking good that it could help reduce him of some of his symptoms.
I asked him in the past if he’d take CBD oil and he said no, I asked why, and he didn’t give much of a reason aside from “Nothing will help.” I explained to him that there’d be no harm in trying it out, there are virtually no bad side effects. I let it go for about a month then last night, I asked him again and offered to prepare snacks for him so literally all he’d have to do it eat a snack once a day. Again, he said no, so I pushed and asked for a legitimate reason why. He listed off some opposition, “I just don’t want to, it’d cost money (it’s not that expensive), etc. There could be bad side effects.” I tried to explain that there are really no bad side effects, it could help him and worst case it’s another thing that doesn’t help. This didn’t sway him at all so I got snippy and told him that his cigarettes (while they help his tics) are a waste of money and doing far more harm than this ever would (I should have brought up how he's damaging his mouth with the cough drops too, but didn't). He agreed they’re a waste of money but nothing more (him needing to quit smoking is an argument for another day). I lost my cool ‘cuz I’m a woman-child and told him he was being ridiculous and reiterated that it wouldn’t hurt anything, and he was stubborn, blah blah (nothing spiteful) but I didn’t feel like talking to him for the rest of the night because when he has his mind set to a decision, he won’t change it. (Example: We had a similar fight about getting married (after being together 10 years) where it took me over 6 months to convince him it was important to me and he needed to learn to compromise.)
TL;DR - Ultimately, am I being a see you next Tuesday because I’ve tried twice now to convince to my husband to give CBD oil a try for his Tourette Syndrome despite him saying no? His constant ticing (a cough), having cough drops in his mouth, and smoking cigarettes is damaging his body and when he's older he'll likely pay dearly. I also need him to start feeling emotions again (because he has essentially shut down due to his Tourette Syndrome). He used to react to things and anymore I just feel like I’m in a relationship with a zombie. There’s SOME (not a ton yet, CBD oil is still being researched) proof that CBD oil could possibly help him and it has helped me with my migraines. I have a feeling that I AM being the asshole here, but judge away.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
tOfrc9vK6h1P7D319fGIVFKG6oNsjMDx
|
au0a5l
|
{
"description": "wanting to break this 7 year old friendship up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to break this 7 year old friendship up
|
First time posting here.
My friends (Kate, Anna, Kevin and Brad. Names changed) and I have started celebrating our birthdays together.
So two days ago was Kevin's bd. We had been thinking about his bd for about a month. We didn't really want to give him just money as it would look like we didnt even try but he also never shared any of his interests. So we decided to make a quest.We sat down all together and wrote a story, drew a map based on local geography. We memorized our lines as characters "in-game" and prepared a reward for him. It being a fairly sized box filled with his favourite snacks coupled with a matching present bag. Additionally we ordered a drawing of us from a friend of Brad's.We all loved it! We bought a frame that had a similar mint colouring (which is Kevin's favourite colour) and put the framed drawing in the bag too. We also found a notebook that had a funny pun on the cover. BD week rolls around and we're all ready to go. His bd was on Wednesday so we postponed the celebration until Saturday.On Friday Kate PMs him and tells him that he should come prepared as there's an amazing adventure awaiting him. He just texts "No".
So after him basically saying "I dont like this, I'd rather just stay at home", we manage to get him to come anyway so he can at least take the bag with the goodies. He comes, we give him the bag and shortly explain what the story was supposed to be. He just kind of looks at us and says "Even before leaving home I knew that I wouldnt like what you'd give me". We decide to let it go and try to make the day better by making jokes, walking around and taking photos. Throughout the whole day he whines about the present and says stuff like "what even is this. Why would you get me this. Im just going to give my mom these". We try to ignore the negativity.Then at one point he said "You know guys, Im really glad you didn't decide to make me go through this on my actual birthday because I actually had fun on that day with some other guys." You could hear a pin drop in the silence afterwards. Anna just called an Uber and left quickly after that because she felt so uncomfortable. I called my mom to pick me and Kate up. Brad left on the bus and so did Kevin. I come home really mad but let it go soon after. So we leave it at that until Kevin texts in our group chat and starts whining about the notebook. So this was the final drop. I start cursing at him and telling him how it's really disrespectful and he really hurt us by talking like that. His reply was, and I quote, "Ok". I plan on deleting him from our group chat after telling the others. I don't want to include him in any future activities even though we've been friends for around 7 years now. He has acted a bit like this before, but never to such a degree. Im still very emotional and I really need an outsider's opinion since I cant think properly right now. Am I the asshole for cursing at him and telling him to f off after all his whining?
|
HISTORICAL
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eNtDMEUlZTmhWS9b8yFrFt9hgsvs0kZs
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b8np83
|
{
"description": "dreading phone conversations with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for dreading phone conversations with my(29F) dad(60M)
|
My dad over obsesses over EVERYTHING. He remembers one detail of a story, focuses on that, and then ignores the details. I used to think it was his hearing and he missed certain parts of conversations, but now I think he just half listens and passes off information he doesn’t feel is relevant. Example: I told him last week I was applying for jobs and told him the date of an interview I am excited about. Now he calls me EVERY day asking “how did the interview go” and I have to remind him, it’s not until next week. It sounds like he really cares, but he is making me stress too much about it!
Every time he calls I am filled with dread of an awkward conversation and sometimes I ignore his calls. He then gets weird and texts me five times “call me” “call me” “tried to call you” “why didn’t you answer” “guess you don’t want to talk”. Sometimes this happens when I’m in a movie and I didn’t even mean to miss his call and then I turn on my phone to texts of him freaking out.
After my mother passed away he quickly got a new wife, and while I am fine with that situation he didn’t talk to me for some time after they got together and now tries to call me frequently as though it was something we always did… when in reality we NEVER talked that much. We don’t have much in common. He doesn’t even understand what my job is. I tried to explain my Marketing job to him one time and he just started to look off in the distance (not listening) and then finally said “you are so smart” and we changed topics.
I have tried to express my feelings to him about him “not listening” or how I feel about his new wife and he just freaks out and says “I’m gonna live my life, you aren’t my mother” and then promptly changes the topic to the weather. Not kidding, the weather is a COMMON topic for us.
AITA for not wanting him to be super clingy and to live my own life with minimal contact? Do I just sounds like a whiny teenager? He has this whole new family now with tons of grandkids that he talks about all the time and he is great with them. I just feel like he’s not so good with kids once they become actual adults.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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RZVY1Ig6HnoTO4pUroSi36AcmxagMgQT
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b7gtx5
| null |
WIBTA if charge my friends while I use coupons?
|
Me and a few friends are going on a camping trip soon and I decided to plan it, i had to buy all the food for the trip, i had saved up coupons that equal about 41 dollars that I was going to use to buy my groceries for a week because I like to meal prep. My question is, if I bought everything and the total came out to about $170 should I split it as $170 or as $129 which would be after my coupons. I feel like an asshole if I charge them $170 while I technically payed with coupons.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
9hfxxxBMimarcHYSTgufMoMWHmhdZSO3
|
alubhp
|
{
"description": "asking for payment",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for asking for payment
|
A friend of mine asked me to take pictures of her and her husband.
I am trying to set up my business as a photographer and therefore money is tight for me. I have been taking photos for years so not a begginer photographer. I have been told for years to start a business. It costs money to store the pictures even if I don’t edit them.
She asked me to take pictures and what’s the price.
I said I couldn’t take money off a friend but to buy the backdrop for the photos.
Which would cost 80% of the sitting fee So I’d be out of pocket for 20%sitting fee and then I would edit all the photos and give high res. I wouldn’t do that for paying customers unless they paid well for it.
Anyway she seems to be distant from me now. Did I do wrong to ask for the backdrop? I thought I was doing a favor but also helping me too. I don’t exactly have time to edit over 50 photos for free and I didn’t buy my camera and photoshop to do free shoots for everyone.
Should I have done it for free? Or just said my full price. Am u the ass for suggesting the backdrop?
Tl:dr: friend asked me to take photos. Asked what the price is. Total price for all pictures (over 50) would be 400dollars Offered her to buy backdrop (80dollars). She is now distant from me.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ijReNIMGSjjt0SNZc8Ck3432Xu8a3ARP
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ay0cnp
|
{
"description": "still admiring Kevin Spacey's previous performances in his movies",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I still admire Kevin Spacey's previous performances in his movies?
|
What he has done is completely up to the judges, but I am on the same train as everyone else, saying that what he did was totally wrong.
Before all of that happened though, I really did admire his work in almost every single movie and TV show that he had done. Having just watched American Beauty recently, I just felt happy and sad at the same time, cause this was a man that pretty much once motivated me. He was such an outstanding actor and I really can't throw that away, cause he is arguably an amazing actor.
So AITA for still admiring his previous performances?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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U0Psz1aO3oHmzPpUn0af2nhnBtANiJ97
|
arg5a1
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate's gf that she is not allowed to stay the night when my roommate is out of town",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my roommate's GF that she is not allowed to stay the night when my roommate is out of town?
|
Main Issue:
This week and last week we had overlapping travel plans. I traveled out of state to my parent's house for 6 days and he left town one day before I got back. While I was out of town he told his girlfriend that she could spend the night in his room when he was out of town. He didn't tell me about this until I got back.
I asked for him for his GF's number which he gave to me. I then talked with her briefly and asked her why she needed to spend the night. After I learned that it wasn't necessary for her to be here, I told her that I was not comfortable with her being here without my roommate being with her. To me, she is his guest, not mine, so he should be here when she is.
Back story:
I recently got a new roommate. He started renting on the first of the new year and we haven't gotten a chance to know each other well. Already he has had a few different overnight guests, one of which had a dog and a 23 foot camper that she need to park on our street. He cleared it with me first, but I was annoyed that he was asking for something like that so soon into moving in.
I have come to believe he has a different expectations for personal boundaries than I. For example, one night I was making dinner when he came home from yoga. He came into the kitchen and started taking off his pants while he told me how he went the whole yoga class without realizing that his pants were on backwards. My girlfriend also rents a room in the house so it is not a single sex household. Either way, his room is right next to the kitchen and it wasn't necessary for him to change in my view. I didn't say anything at the time but I was bothered. He will also belch at full volume when he is in the house. It's loud enough that I can hear it clearly upstairs. We have also asked him to knock before coming up stairs to my or my girlfriend's room. Our rooms are the only rooms upstairs except for the laundry closet.
I am now thinking of asking him to find a different place to live.
I haven't spoken with my roommate about this yet. What do you think reddit? AMITA for telling his gf not to stay here? WIBTA for asking him to move out because I don't feel like him?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
apm16g
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{
"description": "getting annoyed and insulting my friends because I trust them",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed and insulting my friends because I trust them?
|
So I have known my girlfriend for around 2 years at this point, we got together around 3-4 weeks ago. recently stress was piling onto me and an exceptionally increasing rate. My closest 3 friends including her have all helped me through a lot recently I have been snapping at them a lot. Not meaning anything I say, I made the mistake of insulting and getting frustrated at a friend constantly insulting them. Then leaving the group chat to prevent any further issues, I proceeded to constantly inform my girlfriend he made a mistake dating me and I am worried I will hurt her during a fit. She added me back to the group and I proceeded to get really pissed at one of my other friends immediately for no reason(I explained and they understood)..I assume it's pent up anger from holding back at my lover. She said " I'll be back..maybe " before leaving. I spent the next two hours trying to contact her.
​
I had just sent her a text with some highly personal info a few minutes ago explaining myself letting her know I am sorry for my actions and that I still love her. I am mostly worried that I might be an abusive partner. Am I an asshole and if so is there anyway to fix this and if not how do I prevent myself from becoming one.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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V9CR08sMyydDDXhl8zkujQ9j9QqMri4p
|
b8ezkt
|
{
"description": "being pissed at how my friends treat their new puppy",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being pissed at how my friends treat their new puppy?
|
So for context, I have two friends that I love dearly, but they make stupid decisions, so this post might be long, so I'm sorry in advance.
My friends (husband and wife) recently adopted an 8 month old Belgain Malinois/Shepherd puppy. She's cute as heck and super sweet. BUT she causes problems. The wife kind of has the mentality of "My way or the highway" and she found this puppy on a shelter website and said "I want it" and they drove almost two hours to get her. Now, I've worked in a vet clinic for over four years, I've birthed and worked with puppies, I've worked with almost every single breed, etc. Belgain Malinois and Shepherds require A LOT OF SPACE AND A BIG YARD. They live in a tiny ass apartment, so this puppy has no room to roam. As a result, she gets bored and she gets destructive, and constantly pees in the apartment. This dog has had no ounce of discipline whatsoever, and my friends won't discipline her. She's chewed up and destroyed my friends work shoes, she chewed on my PS4 controller, she chewed up my friends laptop charger cord, she gets right up in your face while you eat, she steals food right off your lap and has stepped on my groin/uterus area to the point I was bruised and hurting for a day. We took her to a Pride event and she wouldn't stop jumping into peoples faces and barking at people and other dogs.
I get that shes a puppy. Ive dealt with puppies. But I know they need to trained as early as possible, so I casually brought up that their dog needs better training and they went ballistic on me saying "I'm nOt gOiNg tO bEaT mY dOg tO tRaIn HeR, sHe's JuSt a PuPpy". Bruh, I never said to beat your dog. They won't even scold her when she does anything wrong. She almost destroyed my PS4 controller and they did nothing. She doesn't see either of my friends as the "Alpha" and she just does whatever she wants. They think disciplining her will make her scared of them and she really won't listen to them.
I would also like to point out that my friends struggle financially. She works full time, and he works part time. They barely make their rent every month, and most of the time, it's late. They're always late on one of their car payments, and this time they're almost 3 weeks behind. They eat out/order pizza 2-3 nights a week. They go to our local gay bar and spend $50+ on drinks and tipping the local Drag Queens. All in all, they're just not responsible with their money, especially the wife.
The last thing that almost made me snap was a few nights ago. They ran out of dog food. So instead of getting her more, THEY FED HER LEFTOVER CAT FOOD THEY HAD BACK WHEN THEY HAD A CAT! I was livid. And what's even more messed up? The wife sent the husband to the store for, get this, fried chicken, cookies and soda. My fiancé had to beg me to not call animal services on them.
Based on this, AITA for being upset over this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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NWUZvZoosymW6onCrEGOSBqa9QRwXDfV
|
ahw3i9
|
{
"description": "kicking a homeless guy off my porch in the snow",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kicking a homeless guy off my porch in the snow
|
Background: I'm an *extremely* paranoid person, and already had one dude break in while I was home. I met him at the door with a gun, but it scared the crap out of me and made me pretty jumpy for years. I have cameras everywhere, and when I bought my house I specifically and **repeatedly** told my family I didn't want ANYONE outside of extremely close family to know where I lived. I did this, because my father is very nice and attracts clinger ons like nobodies business, and is constantly having to deal with druggy employees that are good people . . .just crazy ones that are homeless, car less, alcoholics that are constantly in and out of jail etc. I'm sure you know the type
Anyway, at about 1:15 A.M. this dude shows up BLOWING up my doorbell, he rang it like 60 times in a minute and a half period. I saw him on the camera, and he had a little dog with him, so I assumed he was a neighbor or something thinking the dog was mine after finding a stray.
Before I could get to the front door, he circled around the house and was at the back door. I grabbed a gun (kept it concealed so he didn't know I had it) and met him at the back door to figure out WTF he was doing.
It was some guy who worked for my father months and months ago, that I have only met ONCE. My father brought him by house one day for some stupid reason, so now the guy knows where I live. I was extremely leery when I met him the first time, he was pretty shifty, and of course, had to come in side for something and saw that I have big tv's everywhere and all kinds of fancy crap inside.
He apparently *just got out of jail* today, and was walking across town to "the house he's working on building" to sleep, but there's snow on the ground so he was cold and wanted to "warm up" in my glassed in porch. I'm not heartless, despite already being EXTREMELY uncomfortable, so I said he could sit there for a bit and warm up, but he needed to head on. He was rambling some **serious** red flag raising nonsense about having to "pawn some stuff for groceries" and how everyone he knew robbed him and wronged him, and how several including his own mother apparently pulled guns on him, and he reeked of alcohol as soon I opened the door.
An hour and a half later I saw he still hadn't left, so I went out and he was out there watching TV using a space heater I kept out there. I told him again he was going to have to move on, and made him think my mother was in the house getting nervous about him being there and was going to call the cops.
30 minutes later, I was about to go out and tell him to leave or I was calling the cops, when I finally saw him leaving. This was at 3, so he was there almost 2 freaking hours. I live alone and don't want random homeless people showing up in the middle of the night. I feel bad for him and his puppy, but come on! This is precisely why I try so hard not to let anyone know where I live. Now I won't be able to sleep the rest of the night because I have to watch the cameras and make sure he's actually gone. I realized after I saw him, that he was the same guy I called the cops on a few months back, because I saw him on the cameras messing around in my yard. I went out last time too, to see who it was but he was already gone by the time I got outside, so I let the cops know a dude was acting funky in the neighborhood. That was already pretty weird, but after a few days I just assumed it was some vagrant passing through, or weird funky salesman or something.
I feel terrible that I had to make him leave in the cold on a day with snow everywhere, AITA here? I feel like Scrooge. If it had been someone I knew like a friend or something, I would have let them sleep on the couch inside, or if it had even been some of my father's employees that I at least *know* I would have let them sleep in the glassed in porch with the heater. But he just raised *so* many red flags.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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0KDXxvmbcxP9J7XJ2cDpxJbSYTiGZ5Z9
|
aeau54
|
{
"description": "not wanting to commit to a casual relationship with my friend but instead committing to one with a mutual friend of ours",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to commit to a casual relationship with my friend but instead committing to one with a mutual friend of ours?
|
I'm sort of new here so apologies if this doesn't really fit the theme of the sub so please feel free to delete or downvote!
​
A bit of context ...
A few months ago I came out of a relationship and not long after my best friend asks out of the blue if we could have a casual sexual relationship. (I'll refer to them as BF for easy reference.) I have never been attracted to BF emotionally or physically and count them as one of my oldest and closest friends. I wouldn't feel comfortable committing to that kind of relationship with them because its not something I'd want. We share a very close group of friends which has been going on for years now, one member in particular was introduced to the group by BF some time ago. (I'll refer to this member as M for reference again.) So in the past BF has confided in me in that they often feel jealous when other people have gotten close to M because they *were originally M's friend*. I've always said its a natural response but some people just click better then others and they shouldn't let it bother them too much. BF has even accused me of being one of "those people." Me and M were very close at one point but life got in the way and we drifted.
Fast forward to now me and M have started talking again and after one very drunk night, we slept together. It was completely consensual and we both had a bit of a laugh about it the next day but did discuss about potentially taking it further. Of course we also discussed what it could mean to the group and the complications that could happen in the future.
Neither me or M are wanting a serious relationship at the moment but are more then happy to be together, unofficially.
I feel as though I have just stabbed my best friend in the back because what they wanted from me I wouldn't give to them but am willing to give it to someone else. I have had relationships in the past where it has been fairly casual, so I can understand why BF would think I'd be happy to do that with them. However, I actually like M. I am attracted to them, I enjoy their company more then just as friends and they've told me they feel the same way. We even discussed not doing anything because it could jeopardise our friendship group. So what are your opinions?
Thanks!
TLDR: AITA for not wanting to commit to a casual relationship with my best friend but instead committing to one with a close mutual friend of ours?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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VbtlEvOJRc7lcp1re5TbFY1aOBimwkNL
|
as6wl1
|
{
"description": "not wanting my roommates on my ps4",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my roommates on my ps4.
|
They never ask me to use it to watch Netflix, and I'm afraid they'll break it or not turn it off properly. I found my HDMI cord disconnected and shoved in the couch today. I paid for it with my own money btw. Would I be an asshole for taking it back into my room tomorrow so they can't use it?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a5BoOriSQ5RehZpNOFky1mgIsBeh2kdk
|
a5oxu2
| null |
AITA for how this friendship ended?
|
I had a friend who I’ll be calling Nate. Knew him for over a year and we hung out a handful of times, he lives about 3 hours away from me.
The last time we were together was in August, I was staying at Nate’s house for a few days after a show we both went to. The whole weekend was great and we always have fun together. A few weeks after that, he started becoming more distant. I tried to talk to him but he would end up not replying. I thought he needed a break so I started texting him less, making sure he has his own downtime and can think things through. Then he started being even more distant.
My first thought was that I did something wrong. But since I’m afraid of being confrontational, I went to indirecting him on Twitter, just stating I don’t know what I did wrong and wish he would talk to me. That took me nowhere. In those 2 months of being distant, we text each other about 5 times. He wished me a happy birthday and stated I was a good friend. This was the end of September. I was back to thinking he was alright, over everything mentally. Nate continued being more distant. Again, I would try to text him and would never get a response. I was hopping back onto Twitter, telling my followers that being ignored hurt me. Nothing from Nate.
A month after my birthday, he finally dropped me. I’m not sure what set him off, but he blocked me on all social media. Nothing in my texts when I woke up. Very upset and realizing I should of done something sooner, I asked him what I did wrong, why he decided to end our friendship very abruptly. He responded 12 hours later saying I violated his privacy. I asked him to explain what that meant and he said I was “creeping around downstairs while [he] was changing upstairs.”
The last time I was at his house, my bags were at the very bottom of the stairs. I’m still unclear if he meant I was watching him in some way or just going through his stuff. Knowing I would not do either of those things, the reasoning made no sense to me. I knew that I should’ve confronted him earlier but I was honestly afraid to lose him as a friend. I apologized for making him uncomfortable, even when I was still confused on what he meant. That’s where our friendship ended. It’s been over a month and I still don’t know if it was my fault or not. Nate didn’t confront me and vice versa. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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7mi4zOSZT3c4l9M5IRBKKMybaSSNhPRJ
|
a3knqt
|
{
"description": "making a gift bag for a homeless woman",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making a gift bag for a homeless woman?
|
I recently moved to CO and work in Denver. There's just something about this place that just makes me happy. Maybe it's working a better job than I've had before, maybe it's the sunshine, I don't really care what it is but I feel inspired to just BE better.
So, Denver has a pretty large homeless population and working downtown, I have met a few different drifters. For the most part, I like my "regular" homeless folk near me. After living in Chicago for a while, the random street people I encounter are more friendly and kind. Idk, they're people and deserve good things.
Anyway. Last Friday was cold. Not quite Chicago cold, but cold enough to layer up. I noticed one of the local homeless women in the alley by my work wearing a sweatshirt and no shoes, shivering as she ate a sandwich. She regularly asks for "help" (usually money or cigarettes)but I never carry cash and don't like talking to strangers more than I have to. I had just finished spending time at the christkindl market, wearing a strong coat, alpaca socks, and sipping on warm spiced wine. Like, damn, my life is good but a few poor decisions and untreated mental illness means I could be where she is.
So, that night, I went out and bought some supplies to make little bags of stuff to give to the homeless people I run into. Strong socks, knit hats, fleece gloves, wet wipes, kleenex, hand warmers, femine products, granola bars, chapstick... I got enough to make 7 total kits but I kept that woman in my mind and also grabbed a fleece blanket and washed an old parka I haven't worn that's still amazing for this weather that even has the fleece lined pockets.
I was ready for the next time she hung out in front of my work.
So, I see her today through my window at work and we're crazy busy. I dropped what I was doing and grabbed the coat and the bag I had made for her.
She took the bag and said "uh cool... do you have any cigarettes?" No. I did not have any cigarettes for her.
I watched her root through the bag I gave her, then throw it in the trash outside my window, blanket and all. When I left work for the day, there was a nice puddle of urine and random wrappers and cigarettes around where she was sitting all day.
I feel stupid for trying. I can't be mad because I'm a stranger and she didn't ask me for anything, but seeing that bag of stuff thrown away made me feel like I did something wrong.
Was I being presumptuous by assuming that winter supplies would help her out? She's wearing the same stuff I saw her wearing in August. I wasn't wanting a thank you, I just wanted her to be warm, but seeing that bag of stuff thrown out hurt.
What do I do with the rest of these kits I made? Giving them out individually now seems terrifying. I truly don't want to be the asshole, but maybe I am. Should I just give out the random coupons I keep getting for $3 packs of American Spirits instead of giving these hats/gloves/socks?
So, am I the asshole, even if I'm not trying to be?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ezqXoXryFYXapQB9vQNmNkUFmU3ihspy
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a8p3e2
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{
"description": "telling my so that I don't like a gift",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my SO that I don't like a gift?
|
Fist of all, this is not really a true AITA post so I expect it to be deleted. I mean, in this story it's either I'm the asshole, or nobody is. My SO isn't to blame here at all. So, until it gets deleted, please hear me out.
I got a really nice, very expensive gift. It's not something I totally and absolutely like, it's something I find "OK". When I unwrapped the gift and saw what it was, I immediately knew how expensive it was and I told her to please return it and get the money back. She was, of course, disappointed and I felt really, really bad about it. But I explained it to her that I know how hard she works for the money and wasting it so much on a gift that I just find "OK" seems pointless. I still feel bad about it, but I know I'd feel even worse just accepting it and faking how much I enjoy it. I don't know if I'm an asshole or not, but I feel like one. I really, really feel like shit for telling her to return it, because she was visibly disappointing at my reaction. She wanted to do something nice for me and I fucked it up and now we both feel bad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
PG25MQAAlfcY7AvpekhM8nhL5iW49Jdj
|
a7c7c6
|
{
"description": "not putting my current boss on my resume",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I didn't put my current boss on my resume?
|
I recently started looking for new employment as the current commute/general atmosphere of my current position has been getting to me. When I started looking originally I didn't want my bosses to know, because I was worried it wouldn't turn into anything. So because of that I put my indirect supervisor on my resume instead but did give all the info for my bosses and said they could be contacted.
Well last week I had an interview and they sent emails to my references. Apparently this got back to them and now they are really upset with me personally. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
mJJYfyE2D5i0XUg10dd08RMvxF5i6KkP
|
9zfvgw
|
{
"description": "having sex with girls soon after ending a long-ish relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for having sex with girls soon after ending a long-ish relationship?
|
Hi, I'll make a long story short. I broke up with my girlfriend of 1.5 years (I was her first boyfriend) a few weeks ago. A week later, I had sex with a girl. My ex was constantly asking me about it the week after I did, and I did not intend to lie to her, so I was honest and told her I did have sex with someone.
She gave me a lot of shit and has been getting angrier and angrier ever since. I never cheated and have always been honest, but she thinks I'm inconsiderate by moving on (at least physically) so fast. Saying I've changed and have become a terrible person, not the guy she loved. The works. Am I the asshole here?
TLDR: Had sex a week after breaking up a relationship of 1.5 years, now my ex-gf who I still care about as a person thinks I'm literally hitler
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
BmknkfXT5V6OslEZLxd22S64B1WsxrT1
|
azjurb
|
{
"description": "turning off the stove",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for turning off the stove
|
TLDR: Am I'm the asshole for turning off the stove while my friend is making a soup but nobody is at home
​
So following situation. I live in a shard flat with a friend. Usually, I am the one who wakes up last in the morning while my friend goes already to work. One morning I wake up, go to the kitchen and see that he left a pot with soup on the stove - which is still on (on low). I was not completely sure how dangerous it is to leave the stove unattended, so I googled and called even a friend to get a second opinion. Short google search & my friend both told me it is not very smart. Most cases nothing happens, but if something happens it is quite dangerous. So I write a message to my friend that I don't want to mess up his soup but I can not leave the house without turning off the oven. He was a bit mad, but did not really say anything. I thought that the case is closed and he will not do it again.
​
One week later. I just came back from a weekend at friends and see - big surprise - the stove is back on and nobody is home. When he comes back, we have a quite big argument and don't really come to a solution. He does not see any danger on leaving the stove unattended and things I am an ass for turning off the stove all the time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b9yj8h
|
{
"description": "thinking my friends (and everyone else) doing charitable things on camera actually sucks",
"pronormative_score": 123,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA: I think my friends (and everyone else) doing charitable things on camera actually sucks.
|
I’m not talking about the trash tag or anything like that. My friends, and you might have seen the video, bought some stuff for a homeless guy. I don’t want to identify them, but it was a bunch of stuff and very nice. That’s great. God bless ‘em.
But then they make a video and post it all over social media. So... it’s not really about being nice, is it? It’s about narcissism and getting internet points. I told them what I think and they say I’m the asshole.
When I was a kid, my mom used to make me bring cokes and lemonades to sanitation workers and people all the time. We gave people coats and were always “love thy neighbor.”
I’m trying to picture my grandma saying, “hey man, the garbage men are here. Grab the VHS camera and get a good pan on me as I approach these dudes. Make sure you get how grateful they look and shit.”
Then have a video viewing party I guess? I get that social media is narcissistic. In fact, leaving my opinion here is narcissistic. But am I really the asshole for thinking, “just give the guy the coat and move on with your day, hero.”
?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
wC2fJaVMtBZwDmAR6tbuyCaKE5yaLRhs
|
aufovd
|
{
"description": "asking a girl at a concert to sit down",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking a girl at a concert to sit down?
|
Last week I went to a concert at a large arena venue. We were literally second to last row and these nosebleeds are so high that you're looking down at the stage. If someone in front of you stands up, you literally can't see anything but the rafters.
For some background, this was Fleetwood Mac. There were many age ranges. Mostly, however, there were older people (70s, seriously) and several of them I heard complaining about knees hurting and such. So the concert begins and literally nobody except those down in the general admission against the stage itself are standing because old people and you can't see shit and most people are being courteous.
Now, let me say that I understand people want to stand at concerts and I am all for it given certain circumstances but you have to gauge your audience and the venue. Literally NO ONE in the upper bowl was standing.
So, about four songs into the concert these three young girls come late and don't sit down. I let it go for a moment, but they're directly in front of me and I can't see shit. So I gently tap the girl directly in front of me and say, "Excuse me, but when you stand up like that, I can't see anything." She immediately gets aggressive. "So, what?! I'm not allowed to stand up at all during the concert?!?!" I said, "Literally no one else around you is standing. There are older people here who can't stand this long, and nobody behind you can see." At this point she turns to the people around us and starts asking rudely, "Can y'all see?!?! I think you can see!" And after a moment, one older guy in the row behind me just goes, "NO!"
So she sits down. This happened during my all time favorite Fleetwood Mac song, so now I am pissed that the song is ruined. I'm trying to enjoy myself and let go of my anger. She obviously can't let it go, because almost a minute later she whirls around and goes, "THERE ARE MUCH BETTER WAYS YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT TO ME!!" and I said, "I'm not getting into this with you. Turn around!"
She didn't take it any further. The next four songs, they were scoping out empty lower bowl seats and eventually left to go steal some.. which I was more than okay with. However, the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if I was being unreasonable asking her to sit down. I mean, it IS a concert.
If you're looking DOWN at the stage, I feel it's rude to stand and completely obscure the people behind you, especially when no one else is standing. I can understand standing if you're eye level to the stage or looking up at it, or if it's general admission.
IDK. The older man agreeing that he couldn't see either made me feel a little validated, plus the fact that she immediately got aggressive which means she was expecting someone to say something.. but, maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut and stood up (thus obscuring more people's views) myself.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
4c2YF88f1i4VN050HHPD8o6QEB8uNpds
|
aup66c
|
{
"description": "telling my \"depressed\" \"friend\" thats she's toxic",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my "depressed" "friend" thats she's toxic?
|
This may or may not have a lot of english mistakes.
I'm brazilian, at the moment im doing what is for americans the first year of high school, i know this creature for about 4 years now and since I met her she's always been a: liar,manipulator,attention whore and an overall toxic person.About two years ago she got into a gigantic fight wich left her with almost no friends, the fight started because she bullyed her 2 best friends(wich are now 2 of my best friends and amazing people) into complete mental breakdowns and everyone turned on her. In the last 2 years the small amount of friends she still had was going down to the point were until friday she had only one, wich she fought with saturday (I didn't understand the reason, but it had something to do with her thinking he was rude with a friend of his) at wich she came runing to me saying that she couldn't handle it anymore and that she didn't understand why people where runing away from her.
Obviusly I tried to be nice and herd her speaking for half an hour(keep in mind this was at 23:30)and then I sent her an audio that said "Look you're sad and depressed i get it and I don't want to see you miserable like this, so im gonna tell you wath I tell you since we meet: you're toxic,manipulative and a giant liar and everytime I tell you this you block me and go cry to someone about it. But I don't hate you for it I want to help you get better and if-IF you don't block me I will help you". She blocked me instantly.
BUT NOW IS WHERE THE FUN BEGINS: the bitch recorded the screen of her phone with our conversation WITH MY NAME AND PROFILE PICTURE(WICH WASN'T EVEN ME, IT WAS MY LITTLE COUSING) AND POSTED IT ON HER TWITTER FOR HER 15.000 FOLLOWERS TO SEE. Now my dumbass couldn't just say "fuck it" and enjoy the rest of my weekend, I STAYED UP UNTIL 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING trying to talk to her to make sure she was ok, all this while she posted stuff in her twitter lie:"I want to die","I'm an horribel person"and"Don't be mad at him(me) he just said the truth" all the while her followers were talking shit about me. Now one thing that she didn't do at least was to release my number(wich her followers asked for)
So when I saw that I just did what I should have done to begin with and said "Fuck it" and went to play some games with my buds. The next morning my friend was checking her account and found tweets talking shit about TONS of people from my school, including but not restricted too: me(obviusly), a guy who she dumped years ago, the only friend she still had and to put the cherry on top THE NEW STUDENTS WICH SHE HAD NEVER TALKED TO.
So Reddit I ask you guys do you think that if I had aborded this differently it could have gone better?AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
enWefi1viZH5YMY03zTFILxit0jH96kr
|
9w4inr
|
{
"description": "not wanting to watch my little sister",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to watch my little sister
|
So last week I declined overtime for Saturday becouse I had to go to the post office. Then my dad asked if I was off Saturday and I said yes and asked him why. He kept insisting (no reason just woundering). Then 2 days later on friday at almost 9pm my mother tell me to get a movie or something to watch with my sister tomorrow and I'm like WTF and I said this is my first time hearing about it. My dad basicly volunteered me without asking. And when I said what if I had plans Saturday? And his response was "you never have plans outside of work" and that just pissed me off. Then the next day I tell my sister if she needs anything I'll be in my room. So I can still enjoy my day off playing Xbox. And my mom got all pissed I wasn't out of my room. (If it matters they have a history of being asswholes when a situation doesn't go there way).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
NRl4FcpxWQKpGLpd8omzOLW3xmOcyNpl
|
am3qtz
|
{
"description": "ruining my ex-girlfriends life by telling the guy she cheated on me with a secret she told me just before telling me she cheated on me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA: I ruined my ex-girlfriends life by telling the guy she cheated on me with a secret she told me just before telling me she cheated on me.
|
First off, I want to state I am expecting an everyone sucks, as what everyone did was a bit out there, but I was ruthless. Secondly, I am going to try and give as much as I know from her side too so as much from both sides I can give are on the table and can be better evaluated. Third, I do suffer from schizoeffective disorder so I am also not always in the right state in my life. This is going to be a long one.
To kind of get a hint of what kind of relationship we had, we had a long distance online relationship that started with us being friends for a couple years. When we started dating I was 18 and she was 16, her in California and me in Indiana, the Romeo and Juliet law in Indiana being within 4 years of the adults age the minor is allowed to be with them, but her its still the age of 18 so I knew there would be risk. We also kind of grew more towards each other as we shared similar traumas, we are both child abuse victims, and both rape victims and we kind of were able to help each other through our experiences as we knew what it was like.
We got together after I asked her out (not a catfish, we had video called before) in October of 2017. We kept things going until December of the same year, her getting into trouble and getting grounded from the internet, and I told her I would wait for her. I kind of kept in touch with her friend when she got back online and we didnt contact each other directly as her mom knew about me and didn't like me. Finally on my 19th birthday I had to get back in touch, and created a secondary account akd contacted her, and we reconnected and continued our relationship.
We kept a nice relationship going for a while, her having really picked up art in our time apart, her even offering to draw one of my characters (this comes up later). We kept talking and she eventually confessed that she suffered from depression and told me that she does edibles and takes hits from the weed vape thing ( I don't care to know what they are called) and she was scared to tell me as she knows I dont like it due to the connections of my abusive alcoholic parents also being drug dealers. I told her it was fine, she had a decent reason to use it, but one of my main goals is to get her happy enough that she doesn't need it anymore, and I succeeded eventually.
Another thing she suffered from was her mom's boyfriend, he was constantly when her mom wasnt home groping her and sneaking into her room at night and stripping her (he didn't rape her, that was about a year before we got together) and finally after he got arrested for paying for prostitution her mom finally decided to press charges as he was also found with stolen items and drugs. A detective came to her house and got her side of it, and asked if she told anyone and she mentioned me, in which turn they asked if I was willing to talk to them about what I know. I agreed to do it for her, even knowing I was at risk of legal trouble considering the ages, and I had also seen nudes of her. I luckily didn't get in any trouble and they never askes about that, but at home her mom accused her of seducing her boyfriend and that she wanted to fuck him and smack her around for it. I offered when she turned 18 I would go down there and pick her up, taking her to my place and she could be safe with me and she was happy too, so I spent some time saving up, asking her too as well to make things easier but she was addicted to buying art, which consisted mostly of my character and hers as a couple even though I asked her repeatedly not too.
After sometime she grew a bit distant and then one day her mom called me talking about her and some other guys, one of which was her in a group chat with a bunch of gay guys who would send nudes to each other and stuff, I kind of let it slide. There was this other guy though, who in her contacts was known as E. I confronted her about it amd she confessed that when we were separated that she didnt know if I would wait for her, so she started looking and found him, apparently not telling him about me when I came back, not wanting to upset him. I also now regrettably let that slide as she came clean and stuff, sending me screen shots. I forgave her and we started to grow together a bit more. We had our 1 year anniversary, I bought her some gifts and stuff, and we spent the day together. Then we started to grow apart again and our relationship went on for another couple of months, of which we had a switch of me moving to her as she may have a job lined up at pixar with a friend she knows there, not that it mattered anymore.
I tried my hardest to keep the relationship interesting as she said she was growing bored but everything I tried she shot down until eventually we split up and decided to be friends. She said I made her happy but she wasn't sure if I was something she wanted to spend there rest of her life with, I asked if there was any chance of us getting back together amd she said no, I later found out why.
After a couple of weeks we were talking and she was upset at first, saying she finally worked up the courage to break things off with E, later turns out he was talking to other girls behind her back as she was talking to him behind my back. I talked her down until she wasnt sad and even happy. Then she randomly told me her parents weren't home, which confused me as she only told me that when she was horny and wanted to vid call or something, so I asked about it amd she said she had a secret to tell me and couldnt tell with her mom around and had to do it while actively deleting the post. What she told me was a fucking atomic bomb, but I wont say what it was until later.
Anyway, she asked me if I would let her keep my character as she saw it as a power couple and wanted to keep them together. I told her no and that I was kind of hurt by her comment, then she continued to say she was sorry and that she was hoping I would say yes to make things easier. She planned on using them whatever my answer was so I got angry with her. The next day I said fuck it and that I didnt care but she could tell I was bitter and told me if I want him back that I would pay her the money she put into it without my permission and I got on her about blackmail and all that even though she argued it wasnt blackmail. Eventually I said fuck it and left it open and even more bitter.
Then she had the dumbest idea in human fucking history. She wanted me to meet her new boyfriend, which I understood why we wouldnt get back together as she had moved on in less than a week. Me being upset and now depressed I didn't want to but she decided to put us in a group chat anyway. I tried being civil and kind of state stuff and when I mentioned being somewhat depressed he tried saying it was my fault that people treated me badly and yada yada. So I left the group chat and she got mad at me saying I am the asshole and I need to grow up and kept throwing me back in a group chat with him saying I needed to work out my problems with him as he kept actively calling me a pussy, bitch and that I wouldmt last a day where he was from typical tough guy shit. I kept leaving as they both attacked me and she told me I was being immature and I was attacking him and need to apologize yada yada.
I finally asked her about him, she had KNOWN him for 3 weeks, he was the guy she went crying to about our relationship saying she wasnt happy without talking about it at all with me to try and help our relationship grow. He was the guy who said she should leave me and she got with him while still talking to E and before she left me. I also found out she was cheating on her old boyfriend with me before getting with me so she is in a vicious cycle. Then she told me he had the passwords to her accounts and hers to his (something she wouldnt do with me, now I get why) saying they dont lie to each other. I brought up the big secret she told me and she told me to not dare tell him so I already caught them in a lie. She had also already sent him nudes in the 3 weeks she known him, pretty much admitted to me that she cheated on me. I still decided to be the civil one but I refused to talk to him. I even tried telling her he was a fuck boy, I guess on Reddit it would be r/niceguy and she wouldnt have it.
For the next two days she kept throwing me in group chats that I kept ignoring, her pleading with me to make peace with him because I am one of the only two people in her life that truly make her happy, me and him, so at this point I knew she didn't give a fuck about me. So I told her no, and I suggest she stop because I am tired of her and her time with me she should know that what I have done to other people who crossed me I am not one to be fucked with.
They both kept fucking with me....and I snapped going to his direct message sending him a screenshot of her big secret without even saying a thing to her.
She had sex with her dog. I put on the screen shot saying when she cheated on me she had the decency to do it with another human.
I followed up in her DM saying that I am not one to be fucked with and she gave a quick fuck you, then blocked me. He followed up messages to me saying she was crying, at this point I truly didn't care, I was on a warpath. I told that her future is in my hands, and that I still had the number of the detective I risked myself to talk to for her and he immediately broke down, telling me I win, don't tell him or her mother he said I hurt her enough and what else could I possibly want from her. I told him I don't really have a reason to not tell them, I didnt care anymore. He broke down, pleading with me, telling me I win, apologizing, asking me what I want to get this to stop. I said I want one thing, exactly that, I didn't even say what it was, nor did I really even think about what it was, but he had a hell of a guess.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
eG1E0MvsbUpLyx1xIJfOvG4OzJHR4mpw
|
a8rvds
|
{
"description": "wanting to look through my GF's downloaded messages on Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting to look through my GF's downloaded messages on Facebook?
|
I've seen her active at weird times, and she claims these must be errors at Facebook, yet the times active with me are always right. She has a few men who are interested in her who she has kept various levels of contact of her. She has given me her password, but she deletes her messages to these men (she admits its so she doesn't have to look at them). I want to be able to view these deleted messages. Am I being too demanding? Should I just trust her? Or do I have a right to view these hidden messages?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
tzZrn4yOi6T4162T2B1ZqDhfOXAFMUvW
|
b0w4qe
|
{
"description": "making my step mom cry",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making my step mom cry
|
So I'll keep this short and simple. I grew up in a very fucked up situation when I was 6 my parents got a divorce and remarried not even a year later. Well my step mom, now no longer married to my father, was a huge role in my life and will forever be grateful for her. But she had a son who was my step brother in the sense who would abuse me, in more than one way and that includes the one I don't really like talking about. That happened for 5 years starting at the age of 7. So fast forward I probably have severe mental issues and I haven't been diagnosed yet which is terrifying, again this is just one part of my fucked up story, I ended up drowning myself in booze till my family told me I had to go to rehab and stay clean, which I did till I relapsed. My step mom found out about it and called me up and I was so frustrated and angry at everyone and everything and I let slip what happened and made her cry to which she talked to her son and he confirmed everything. So am I the asshole for telling her even after all these years have passed
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
ys9TWtuJbSeo9jNqDxTeSc0cs0ILIv4g
|
b1meju
|
{
"description": "being \"harsh\" to my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for being “harsh” to my girlfriend?
|
She did a nude video of her touching her breasts, because I asked about it. (We see each other only on weekends so it kinda makes sense) It was amazing and I told her that she did great a lot of times. After watching it a few times, I told her I would like to hear her breath in the next one so it is hotter, because in this one there was talking some woman on video in the backround, so pretty distracting. I didnt mean to dishonest her, just a small hint.
However, she got pretty upset, said I needed to delete the video and wont ever do another one for me.
Idk, is this normal?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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aalib7
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{
"description": "not signing my license to donate my organs",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
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|
AITA for not signing my license to donate my organs?
|
The organ donation industry really bothers me. How it works is that the medical industry wants everyone to "give" them their organs when they die (and sometimes before). Then the hospitals make millions of dollars harvesting and selling the organs and tissues from each person and then a broker is paid to transport them and then other hospitals and doctors make millions of dollars implanting those organs and providing after care.
This is THEIR business and in the US they charge draconian amounts of money that far exceed the actual cost of those services and they think it is their right to charge whatever they want on the grounds that we have to have it.
But if an individual wants to do the same thing and charge for his or her organs then suddenly that's wrong. It's immoral to sell your organs because people need those organs.
Why is the capitalist model great when hospitals want to make a profit, but immoral if an individual wants to do the same thing?
They want capitalism for themselves and then they expect socialism when they think they can game the system.
If they want what is mine then they can pay me (or my heirs) for it.
The fact is that if organs had a monetary value then there would be more organs to help people who need them. Yes, it might be more expensive but more people would be saved. The cost would be more than justified if more people got organs.
At the least if they take my organs for free then they shouldn't be allowed to make a profit. They only get the expenses for the organ removal and implantation. That way the whole process is a donation rather than hospitals being able to make money off of the kindness of others which I think is unethical and immoral.
And before you make your decision on whether I'm the asshole then check this [LINK](https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1991-07-14-9103190600-story.html)
Also, you have to pay to donate an organ. It costs about 5,000$ for a living donor transplant. [Here](http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/21/opinion/fry-revere-organ-transplant-donors/index.html)
At every stage hospitals expect to make money. They will charge the full amount for organ removal, transportation and implantation. They aren't doing ANYTHING for free and they are even charging donor's families for the harvesting of their dead children's organs and also for the failed life saving care.
But I'm the one who is supposed to be selfless?
Fuck that. This is the United States. If the powerful get to charge draconian amounts for health care then I should have the same right to sell my organs for whatever I can get.
Fair is fair.
|
HISTORICAL
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ays3mr
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{
"description": "refusing to post an article on social media",
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|
AITA for refusing to post an article on social media?
|
Hi everyone. So, I(24M) have been going through some drama with my girlfriend(23F) this week. It all started on Tuesday, but let me back up a little more for necessary background information.
So without going into too much detail to protect identities, I am in graduate school and recently one of the professors in my department at my school was accused of posting a sexist statement on social media. There was some social media backlash and outrage. I think at the moment, we do not know yet what the departments response will be. But I believe the professor is getting investigated or something.
My girlfriend and I have discussed this a lot and we are definitely on the same side. We both agree that what this professor shared was not OK at all. I told my girlfriend how I have discussed this with many of my colleagues and students, especially the female ones. I made sure to talk to my female students and make sure that they felt comfortable studying with me and that the professors statements do not reflect my beliefs or the departments.
So back to my story, on Monday evening my girlfriend shared an article about this situation. Since I am finishing my first graduate degree, and want to leave doors open with the faculty here in case I come back for the next degree, I hid article from my social media because I didn't want to burn any bridges with my professors.
In the morning she discovered I had deleted the article and she completely freaked out. She thinks I am being "not a true ally" because I didn't want to share the article. She thinks that I should be willing to throw my career under the bus to fight for what's right. I tried to tell her that I discuss this with all of my colleagues and students and I feel that that does more good than social media does. I tried to tell her I am on her side 100%. She was having none of it and blocked me everywhere.
She later sent me an email saying I have to post the article and send her a screenshot or she will never unblock me. I did do this, and she unblocked me.
But after about half an hour I felt weird that if my faculty saw the post, they may not let me come back for my terminal degree, and so I deleted it again. I felt like, after this professor had already been chewed apart on social media, me sharing it wasn't doing much good, especially when I was trying to do real good in person. When she saw this she freaked out again and has had me blocked for the last four days. Apparently she's breaking up with me now because she doesn't believe that I'm truly on her side.
So, AITA for refusing to share this article? My gf is very passionate about this and is choosing to die on this hill. But I really don't want to burn any bridges unnecessarily especially when this professor could already be getting fired. But I am confused and truly don't know if AITA.
|
HISTORICAL
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arijre
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{
"description": "thinking bright colors look good on darker complexions",
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|
AITA for thinking bright colors look good on darker complexions?
|
A bit of background: I’m a bit into fashion, I don’t follow trends or fashion shows but I like looking at the outfits being put out and sometimes look at fashion models
Recently I was out with my friend and noticed a very dark woman dressed in a bold yellow color, I expressed to my friend that I thought the woman looked good in that color and I think bright and bold colors look really good on people with darker complexions. I don’t know if that is the right way to word it but my friend thinks I am a racist asshole for saying that and I’ve been thinking about it a lot because I don’t know if I’m in the wrong or not and I wasn’t trying to be racist, so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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ar544p
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{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend because of my mental health",
"pronormative_score": 8,
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|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because of my mental health?
|
sorry for any grammar mistakes, i’m on mobile
i was in a relationship for maybe 4 months, and recently i’ve been feeling like complete and utter shit and it took a suicide attempt for me to realize that if i were to do that again and succeed, i wouldn’t want a S/O to have to carry the weight of that on their shoulders. i ended it by saying that i just needed time by myself to be able to regain some sanity.
she didn’t take it very well, and is now ignoring me whenever she sees me. i’ve gotten mixed reactions from my friends about ending it too, saying i should have just gone through with it if i actually loved her. others are proud of me for ending if for both me and my ex’s sake. i’m feeling guilty about it, even though i found out she had been cheating on me with one of my best friends (who didn’t know we were still dating and apologized a ton) while she dated me.
i just need confirmation, AITA?
TL;DR: broke up with my girlfriend cause of mental health, and i feel like an ass because of it
|
HISTORICAL
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aro5hv
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{
"description": "not letting a GameStop employee scam me out of a $1",
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|
AITA for not letting a GameStop employee scam me out of a $1
|
I know this sounds like a no brainer but hear me out. So today I went to GameStop to get some xbox points and maybe a game. I saw that a game was on sale so I decided to buy it. Anyway I go up to the register, go through the normal transaction and then I see that there’s the 1 warranty added on, so I ask him to take it off. He says ok, but I could see that he was a little upset about this. I didn’t think anything of it and I just walked out. Later that evening, I remembered watching those GameStop employee stories on YouTube and remembered how they have a game warranty quota they have to reach. This made me feel kind of guilty as I easily could have just payed the extra dollar and he would have been able to meet his quota. So idk, AITA for not just leaving the warranty on the bill.
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HISTORICAL
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a7lugp
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{
"description": "donating to charity instead of buying Christmas presents",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
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|
AITA for donating to charity instead of buying Christmas presents?
|
First time posting so sorry if this doesn't fit the format and if it reads weird etc, I just thought it would be better to do it from my perspective.
​
As a precursor this is not a story about me but about one of my best friends, who I have known for 16+ years and so am intimately familiar with her family dynamics. She recounted this story to me and it has been ongoing for a couple of weeks now.
​
So to start things off my friend (21), upon finding a relatively lucrative job following leaving school has found herself in a position of some financial stability, though is by no means financially independent as she has to support her household a lot, and is presently one of two of the six of her dads children who can drive. If she wants something then she can buy it, and she lives at home with two of her siblings whilst contributing towards the upkeep for her home significantly. Her family are all either her age or older aside from her younger sister (16) and half have reasonable jobs which keep them afloat, the other half do not and get a lot from welfare. Since she has a well paying job her family use her as effectively their personal ATM, all of them constantly ask her if they can borrow money as well as effectively demanding lifts from her; if she refuses then they get pretty annoyed. They take her very much for granted, and expect her to do things for them without any consideration of her life or her feelings. One example of which for perspective, is one of her sisters asking her for a lift to the shops which are a 10 minute walk with her three children for a quick shopping trip, then leaving them in the car with my her to mind for **an hour** (which she didn't say she was going to do) whilst she went and did whatever shopping she needed to do. My friend then gave them all a lift to their dad's house which she didn't mind, but as soon as her sister wanted to leave she expected my friend to drop what she was doing and take her back without having even asked, no please and no thank you.
​
Now this is not to say my friend won't do all these things, as they're her family she tries to help them all out as best she can but on the whole they are all very ungrateful for the things she does for them. It frustrates her when they take liberties and expect things from her without actually considering to ask. A couple of them will often get her to give them money by saying it's because they can't afford things for their children, even though she lends the money with that purpose which they then spend of doing things for themselves.
​
Now with that in mind, this Christmas as my friend was doing financially okay she wasn't particularly concerned about the gifts she received and so said to each of her family members that in lieu of buying everyone a present this year she would donate to a charity of their choice instead. She said she didn't need a present herself, and so if they wanted to do that as well they could. The previous year she had bought her brother a lamp as his present, so to her this made a lot more sense as someone else would get a lot more use out of it. What's more is that one of her nephews is critically ill with a heart defect, and so charity to their family is important as it's helping to fund research for the treatment he needs. It's worth noting here this is in England so other than travelling to different hospitals (which my friend has to do for her sister 99% of the time, missing work because the other drivers in the family won't do it), there are no costs.
​
When she announced that this is what she would be doing, **shit hit the fan**. She received tirades of abusive texts, all with the theme that she doesn't get to decide that their presents should be given to charity. Her parents argument was that she should have just left it at her presents from them being donated, not both ways. She maintains this is what she's going to do, but she will buy something for her dad, which I wholeheartedly support as he works hard to help her.
​
I personally think that it's a fantastic idea and that with the amount that she does for them everyday is Christmas. Having said that, I would be very selfishly disappointed not to receive presents of Christmas from my siblings. Whatever she would have got them though with the amount she would have spent, they can all easily buy the same for themselves as through either work or benefits they do have enough money to cover the cost of her gift.
​
So yeah, is she the asshole for not buying her siblings tangible Christmas gifts?
​
**tl;dr incredibly generous friend decided to donate to charity rather than buying her siblings presents and suggests they do the same, is effectively branded an asshole**
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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akpu3o
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{
"description": "saying \"no\" to having a drug addict walk our dogs",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for saying “no” to having a drug addict walk our dogs
|
So my wife and I are good friends with a neighbor up the road. They have a 20 year old son who has had many issues with drug abuse, in and out of rehab, recently got out of jail, and has underlining mental health issues that sometimes reveals itself in aggressive behavior/outbursts.
My wife reached out to me via text message today about offering to pay him money two walk our two dogs. One is a 10 year old lab mix and the other a year old, full bred Weimaraner. I said “no” because I don’t trust him and would prefer not to possibly enable his drug habit.
I offered instead to teach him everything I know about “flipping.” Flipping is buying things at yard sales, liquidators, etc and selling it for a profit. This would require him to spend time with me which I could use to give some life advice as well.
In short, I was deemed an asshole for saying “no” to the dog walking and “so full of myself” for thinking I could mentor him. Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b9wtbj
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{
"description": "telling my neighbors to stop being so loud",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I told my neighbors to stop being so loud?
|
For context: my wife and I just got married in January and moved into together once week got back from our honeymoon. This is my first time living in an apartment building. Previously in college I lived in various dorms so it's not like I have no experience with loud neighbors.
So, about three weeks ago, a family of five moved in above us (four children, a dog, and a single mother). Obviously the day they moved in it was understandable the noise being created but as the weeks have gone on it has never really gotten quieter. They live above us so we hear their running, stomping, and yelling all the time. Sometimes it sound alike someone is walking through my apartment and not the upstairs one. The kids play in the stairwell and the sound bleeds into my livingroom. It is honestly driving me crazy.
The loudest thing I do in my apartment is play electric guitar and bass. I know for a fact that our downstairs neighbor barely knows we are there half of the time. I don't want to be a dick and give this single mom a hard time, especially since I don't know what it's like having four children but I'm at a loss.
So reddit, will I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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gxI12bWMMMdIyLQj0eBvYGMvlwMvSE0y
|
averil
|
{
"description": "not going to my (live in) boyfriends grandmothers wake so I can go see Beck/cage the Elephant/ spoon",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA For not going to my (Live in) boyfriends grandmothers wake so I can go see Beck/Cage The Elephant/ Spoon
|
My Boyfriend's grandmother passed away back in December. They cremated her and are having a wake for her.
In January I got a sweet deal on concert tickets to see Beck/Cage the Elephant and Spoon. Im also inviting my sister as its her 18th birthday.
The Problem, my Boyfriends family is having the wake the same weekend as the concert. They're having it in Michigan and the concert is in Austin.
My Boyfriend assumed I would be going with him and has talked me up to his family and they are super excited to see me.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to give up my concert tickets/miss my sisters birthday/go out of town to celebrate a woman who died three months ago and who I never met?
My boyfriend and I have only been living together a few months
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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6GZLmPqebWsYRFPGP2th5D8v48ZpuNC3
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ax527x
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{
"description": "rubbing my gf in my best friends face",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for rubbing my gf in my best friends face?
|
Before u all crucify me from the title - I found out that my BEST friend was trying to get with my current girlfriend behind my back. There was a lot of drama etc etc etc, we almost fought each other and other stupid shit. Anyways, recently I sorta realized I never said anything to him about the situation after it had died down (our parents took both of our phones lol)
So, I text him about how happy my gf and I are, how we're in love, the amazing sex, etc. I sent him about 2 paragraphs of text including the things mentioned above, and he blocked me.
No problem to me. I don't want to talk to him anyways (unless it's belittling him.) But my GF saw my text and literally called me an asshole, verbatim.
She said he was probably just confused and emotional at the time and made a mistake and that I shouldn't be rubbing it in his face because after all, he already lost - he didn't get the girl.
This made me start to doubt myself, and I was like woah why am I feeling guilt for telling off this asshole? We had been best friends for 2 years straight and I told him how much I loved her well before he ever made a move.
TL;DR - Best friend tried to get with my GF. Months later I tell him off. My GF calls me an asshole
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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ach6h2
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{
"description": "not wanting to move in with my partner currently",
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|
AITA for not wanting to move in with my partner currently
|
Important context here:
Dating for over a year now, long distance (we live an hour away from each other) but we always plan our next adventure when either myself or my partner are ready to sadly go to the airport. I love them to bits, they aren't perfect and neither am I, but that's why we go together.
So, into the details here. My partner has slowly been hinting at wanting to find our own place someday, which, I find is great! Cool! But, whenever we have a discussion about the actual logistics about it all, and I discuss what I think is quite important in getting a place: money, steady work, etc they get incredibly upset and believe I'm putting barriers up in not wanting that? Which isn't the case entirely, I'm just trying to consider, well, what we need to consider? I am not afraid of the commitment here, I just want to make sure these things are discussed. I think it's a big thing?
It seems like we can never have a mature discussion about it and they just think that getting a place is simple. So, I was fully honest and mentioned I'm not at all comfortable moving in with them or getting a place until we have discussed things like rent and that whole process and.. Boy. Did they get upset. They were incredibly unfair and harsh in their wording with particular things and reacted in an incredibly immature way. Am I the asshole for being honest here?
I was not harsh in my wording, I wasn't blunt or rude, I was being politely honest in how I felt about everything. I felt these are really important things to discuss and it felt like I wasn't heard or even understood.
Now I'm sat in a coffee shop on my own at the moment trying to figure out what the hell to do here. I told them we need to talk about it again when we've cooled off, but I can't help but think that I wasn't listened to.
If more context is needed I'll be happy to try and help, thank you.
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HISTORICAL
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aczlax
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{
"description": "not wanting to go to my MIL's 1 year aa birthday",
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|
AITA for not wanting to go to my MIL's 1 year AA Birthday?
|
I am mobile, so I apologize for formatting of it comes off incorrect.
Brief Background:
For the past 3 years my MIL and I have had a tumultuous relationship. My husband and I married in 2014. My mother died in fall 2015. My son was born early 2016 and MIL "moved in to help with household and chores" 3 weeks later, a fact solidified by her the day my mother had died. It was to be temporary, until she got "on her feet" in a new province, away from the rest of her family.
We knew she drank. We didn't realize how much. We didn't know to what extent her health (both physical and mental) had deteriorated, and how dire her financial situation actually was. This "temporary" arrangement looked more and more permanent as time went by, and I began to react very poorly to these circumstances. I would love to just type a list of all the complaints and issues that took place in the year and a half she was still drinking, but it would be dishonest to act as if I wasn't blameless many times as well. There are far too many times that I really was the asshole in all this, and my relationship with my husband suffered as he was pinned in the middle between wife and mother.
A year and a half in, MIL went to treatment and began her recovery journey. However, despite apparent sobriety, a lot of the behaviours of issues did not stop and I watched her swap alcohol addiction with food addictions (being a diabetic) and shopping addictions. My anger and resentment continued to swell, and I continued to choose to react like a total asshole. I finally recognized that my choices could end my marriage and I went to counseling (who I have admittedly not seen now for a few months, as we ended in a natural place). Despite this, I still finally snapped in an asshole move, and kicked MIL out 1 week after my second child was born (2 weeks shy of her living with us 2 1/2 years, rent free most of it until the last 4 months or so). She was (finally, after several months of arguments to do so ultimately to this point) just securing housing when I snapped, though still without a secure place to live. I became angry at her continued behaviour and yelled at her to leave. She said I couldn't control people. I said no, but I could control what happened in my own home. She called me abusive, and that was it. She stayed away until her house was secured.
And then we never talked about it. This happened in July and we just ignore it, like we always have. Neither of us have apologized, and quite honestly I am not sure I want to. I try to stay civil, and when she asks to see the kids I try my best to make arrangements. These are minimal, I realize, but I try not to be a totally petty bitch.
Just before Christmas MIL told us about her upcoming AA 1 year birthday. I am dreading it. I don't want to go. A lot of it is the fact that she hasn't apologized over any of the crap from the past nearly 3 years. But neither have I. I just assumed that there would have been an AA step for reconciliation by now, and yet nothing has materialized. I just spent a week with her over the holiday back home (for them) and witnessed the continuing behaviours in which I became angry over in the summer, albeit with no alcohol.
I am just so tired, and I want to engage as little as possible, and emotionally detach. I told my husband I didn't want to go, and he just said "ok". I think neither of us wants to argue any more. I wouldn't stop him from going, not the kids (as she wants them there).
WIBTA if I didn't go to my MIL's AA birthday? Or should I be trying to be a bigger person and put my pride and anger aside? I am not feeling in a supportive or healing place in our relationship.
|
HISTORICAL
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9vovhj
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{
"description": "getting angry at my so for a \"joke\" that he made",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my SO for a “joke” that he made?
|
My SO has a substance abuse problem. He drinks heavily daily but has a high tolerance to alcohol, he also smokes weed daily to be able to feel ok. I met him this way, and I fell in love with him this way, so I don’t feel like I have the right to be angry at him for what he does. We’ve been living together for almost a year and I try my hardest to be supportive and understanding, but sometimes I just can’t.
I came home from work around 10pm last night to find him feeling quite sad, he said he wasn’t feeling well(emotionally and physically) and that he had too much to drink. I could tell he was really sad so we laid down together and I told him to put his head on my chest so I could caress his hair and back. I wasn’t mad at him or upset at him in any way, I wanted to help him feel better and show him I love him. That is until he told me a “joke”. He said earlier at work him and a coworker were talking about substances they have tried in the past(acid and mushrooms) and about how messed up on them they’ve gotten. They were discussing ways that they have handled being with sober people while they themselves were f’d up on these substances. My SO said he told his coworker that he likes a challenge and that one of his favorite things to do is to try and trick people that he is sober while actually being f’d up. His coworker found this comment hilarious and apparently this comment was the joke. I didn’t find it funny at all, in fact, upon hearing this comment my entire feelings towards him changed and I became very angry and upset and hurt.
My first thought upon hearing what he said was “so this is just a game to you? You have fun doing this?”
He has told me in the past that he feels he is letting me down by drinking all the time, by being high and not productive and that he wants to change. I now feel that his comment implies that he really doesn’t care how much he drinks or that he is always high and that he doesn’t care at all for trying to be sober.
Keep in mind that he made this comment at work while he was pretty much sober(because work) and was re-telling it at night while drunk.
Due to the intensity of my feelings I tend to ‘shut down’ as to not feel anything and I become mostly ‘numb’ in the way I act. He apologized immediately but I just didn’t want to be near him. I fell asleep on the couch instead. This morning he apologized for being drunk last night but my feelings haven’t changed. I’m still angry and I’m still acting indifferent towards him. He left to work and has messaged me “I’m sorry” and “I miss you” but I’ve just ignored them.
So am I an asshole for becoming very angry with him for what he said? Am I overreacting and blowing this comment out of proportion or do I have a reason to be upset?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6obt9
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{
"description": "interrupting a bookstore manager who ended up being very rude",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for interrupting a bookstore manager who ended up being very rude
|
This is a story from a few months ago that haven't been able to shake.
Right between my college and the subway station there's a small bookstore. This one day I go to take the subway but it's closed due to an accident. It was announced that it would be back up and running an hour later, making me late for my job. My phone was dead and I was starting to freak out a little because I had to find a way to contact my boss to tell her I'd be late (I get nervous really easily).
I go outside and see the bookstore. I head there, thinking I can politely ask to use their phone for just a minute. It was really cold outside so I got in the store in kind of a rush and since I was already nervous I walked up to the counter and asked for the phone without really paying attention to the salesman. Unfortunately, he was helping a customer and I interrupted him which is obviously my fault. I'm not claiming otherwise.
At that point I was really embarrassed and apologized for my interruption and tried to explain that I hadn't noticed he was speaking with a customer. He was obviously angry and I didn't blame him for that. It was pretty understandable given what I had done. He asked me what I wanted and I very quietly asked for the phone. I was so embarrassed by my mistake. I just wanted to make the call and get out as soon as possible.
But then the guy just started being really unnessessarely mean (in my opinion). He said: "Of course. It's always the people who just want a service who are rude like this. MY customers are decent human beings."
At that point, with all the emotions I was already feeling (the embarrassement, the nervousness, the stress, the cold) I just started crying (I cry easily in situations like these). I mean obvisouly I made a mistake and it's ok to be mad about that but I apologized many times and so this just felt so unnessessary.
So I tried to hide my tears while I made the call and the guy just kept going. Saying things like: "I swear, people are so inconsiderate sometimes." and "Young people just don't know how to behave in society."
I couldn't take it and ended up just putting the phone back on the counter and leaving in tears in the freezing cold. I ended up going to another small shop to make the call.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
3D4dDeoOWc9kn6ttzHFtUS13QCgKvxQR
|
b213jo
|
{
"description": "thinking my parents are robbing me",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking my parents are robbing me
|
Okay so I'm a 17 year old female on the brink of becoming an adult, I'm an aspiring artist who gets 20-30$ per commission. For the last year I've been doing commissions to get money for things I'm potentially interested in buying, nothing big maybe a headset or a new controller for my ps4. Thing is.. My parents make me ask to use the money before I actually use it. Today, I was feeling especially scandalous and since my mother makes me wait until my dad's home from work at 9 pm to ask for things because she "doesn't know," I didn't feel like waiting. The Sims 4™ was on sale for $6 which is a HUGE 88% discount for the Deluxe edition. The thing is my mother comes to me when I'm playing on the ps4 around 10 when my father got home and tells me that the password on the PayPal is being changed because I cannot control my financial urges. My issue being, no other money is on the PayPal aside from my hard earned cash. I sit idly by while my parents spend the money on Facebook games and such without a care given, but the one time I spend $6/$23 in the account they've decided I'm no longer allowed to use my own money. It's really frustrating and I really need to know. AITA for arguing the account should remain untouched?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9c7JRR6Xkko8KQHXlM5BgEdVSKjPBxUb
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ajmbhc
|
{
"description": "telling my mom to pick her battles",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mom to pick her battles?
|
Context....my mom and dad decided to take a break. By break I mean my dad is moving out of the house for a few months, so they can try to repair the relationship. They’re constantly at each other’s throats. This in no way affected mine or my siblings relationship with either of them. Flashbacks yesterday when my dad sends a funny picture in a group chat to me, my mom and my sister. He accidentally forgot to add my younger brother. No big deal right? My mom flips out on him over text yelling about this and that and how he forgot to add my brother. I had enough and I told her to “pick her battles”. Not everything is worth fighting over especially not something as trivial as a funny picture. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
RL6aPyxPWrPSs2kccHxODBRwF4nrDaUA
|
b1mq1b
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{
"description": "pretending to not be sick so I could go to my cousin's birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA if I pretended to not be sick so I could go to my cousin's birthday party?
|
There's something nasty going around. I don't think it's the flu, but a nasty cold. Right now, my nose is runny and stuffy at the same time, I feel the "fog" that usually comes with a head cold, and I'm coughing like I smoked two packs in thirty minutes.
My cousin is having her 13th birthday party at a restaurant, and her younger sister will be there too. I love my cousins more than anything, but I don't get to see them that often. I bought her a few presents and would love to be there when she opens them.
My dad doesn't think it's a good idea for me to go since I'm hacking up a lung and could get either of the girls sick (the younger cousin is seven). So I was thinking I'd feign being mostly better to go see them. I'm pretty good about turning away and coughing into the crook of my arm, so I think it'd probably be okay. Would I be the asshole if I risked getting them sick to see them?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
JLvBQCucAlvYwNUFeBhUhwl2LeHKbTWp
|
9u2uv3
|
{
"description": "thinking it is good, that society is looking down on obese people",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for thinking it is good, that society is looking down on obese people?
|
So me and a friend had a conversation with our girlfriends about a mutual friend of ours, who started to lose weight and hitting the gym because his friends made jokes with him about him being fat.
I then stated that I think it is good, that most of society doesn't think it's good to be overweight. If people regularly stated that it's not okay, then the overweight people will start to get fit and healthy.
Of course I don't encourage or support any kind of bullying; however, I think a good dose of joking or similar has a more positive effect in the long run rather than a negative impusle at first.
The girls then went of on a rant about how much of an asshole I am and that it's okay to be overweight and so on.
I think it is ok to be overweight, but I don't think it is good and should be avoided and fought against.
What do you think about this?
(PS: sorry for possible bad formatting and grammar, I am on mobile and English is not my first language)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
HcWd4ZzEQZvPolgPl7vJN72np1Nb0qNP
|
b8uzgz
|
{
"description": "buying an engagement ring for my girlfriend from a former fuck buddy because of a discount",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for buying an engagement ring for my girlfriend from a former fuck buddy because of a discount?
|
Mobile so sorry for style
Am I the asshole for purchasing an engagement ring for my girlfriend of 6 years from a former fuck buddy?
So I recently bought an engagement ring for my current girlfriend (future fiancé?) from a former person I used to hook up with. It was never serious and shortly after me, she met her future husband and got married and had multiple kids. I went through her because my buddy got a sizable discount, which later I got the same. So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
I8dG286cMi4swKpb0yv5mnZkvLoKCx4u
|
abv65u
|
{
"description": "telling my wife that when/if she quits her job to be a SAHM I am not planing to do much in the way of household chores anymore",
"pronormative_score": 796,
"contranormative_score": 432
}
|
AITA for telling my wife that when/if she quits her job to be a SAHM I am not planing to do much in the way of household chores anymore?
|
My wife and I have a 6 month old baby girl and a two year old boy. Wife hasn’t been too happy since returning to her job from her last maternity leave and I actually just got a new job.
At my old job I was working 45-50 hours a week. At my new job my hours fluctuate a lot — it can be anywhere from 60 to 80ish hours a week at the worst. I make a lot more though so there’s that. The pay raise makes it so my family can do really well on just one paycheck. My wife is ecstatic because this means she can be a SAHM which is what she’s wanted.
The issue is that my wife and I aren’t on the same page about what this change would mean. Before, when our work hours were almost equal, we divided housework pretty much equally. We also paid a housekeeping staff to come every other week to help us out. (Plus we have a nanny to care for our kids while we work).
I told my wife that her staying home would mean no more housekeeping staff or nanny. These cuts will help us afford to have just the one income and I also think it’s practical. She was mostly agreeable to that. But then she said that we should divide the chores 50-50 still.
I told her there was no way I was going to be taking on as many work hours as I am and then come home to cook or clean too. That would defeat the entire purpose of her quitting her job.
She looked at me like I was some sort of Neanderthal but I think what I’m saying is completely fair. I’m not expecting her to do any heavy lifting. Just tending to the kids, cooking, and doing a reasonable job keeping up the house. I recognize that this would be an old fashioned way of living and if she ever wanted to return to the workforce I would support her 100%. But I think it’s fair that if I’m the sole paycheck and working crazy hours I don’t come home to more stress and chaos.
Obviously my wife and I will have to work this out between ourselves. I’m mainly posting here as a sanity check to see if my thoughts on this issue are completely off base.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
rE9Ryb3ZSjdcLacHK0QXvc1HTh2HjRgi
|
b1rqog
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a vacation with the in-laws 4-6 wks after giving birth",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a vacation with the in-laws 4-6 wks after giving birth?
|
My husband mentions the other day that my mother-in-law is planning a family reunion of sorts to coincide with her birthday in a beach town. Her plan would be for us to rent a beach house with them on the water which sounds great except it will be the middle of August and depending on dates we will have a 4-6 week old newborn. The travel time to this destination is only 3 hours so I don’t have an issue with that so much as the other factors which are: this location is a small beach town and literally every activity on trip advisor etc is the outdoor/active type (aka no museums or indoor tourist spots to go if the weather is too hot), average temps in this area tend to hit 80s/90s during this time and newborns can’t wear sunscreen or regulate body temperature as well as adults can so there is a very good chance one of us will be stuck in the house with the baby and not able to join the group for long periods of time, if the baby is colicky (fingers crossed this is not the case) I don’t want the added stress of taking a trip with minimal sleep, and the birth will likely be a c-section so depending on healing I may not be able/cleared to swim yet. My husband totally gets my reasoning so that’s not an issue, but my mother in law tends to be passive aggressive and get butthurt over things/situations like this (she was a nightmare during our first child’s birth) and it might not be worth the drama to skip the trip. So AITA for not wanting to go and should I just suck it up and deal?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
O7E0H2mVMNd7XNqZp8w0Iwd8s0hOw6ek
|
aip8yy
|
{
"description": "saying I would break up with a so if he declawed a cat he adopted",
"pronormative_score": 43,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for saying I would break up with a SO if he declawed a cat he adopted
|
I’ve had cats around me for my whole life. I volunteered at a cat shelter for awhile after college. I have done enough research to come to the conclusion that declawing a cat is tantamount to abuse of said cat.
I was in a relationship with a man and he was talking about getting a cat, but wanted it to be declawed. I had been seeing him for about 3 months when this came up. I told him in no uncertain terms that I thought it was cruel and would not stay in a relationship with him if he did that to an animal. I further explained that if it was that big of a deal to him, there is a local shelter that at any given time has some number of declawed cats and I would support him adopting one of those so long as he had the knowledge to support one of these cats ( understood that they sometimes have litter box trouble, understanding the danger they’re in if they get outside and willing to make accommodations to deal with the issues)
He was livid and thought I was ridiculous for putting a relationship with a person who I might otherwise have been happy with on the line over such an issue. I think it speaks to the type of person he was and didn’t back down. It blew up and led to the deterioration and eventual end of our relationship
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
DlVUDLpRLucjtA6vCnqMdlTiaz50mIqT
|
9umeon
|
{
"description": "disliking my parents",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for disliking my parents?
|
Throwaway. My parents have been very good to me for their entire lives. I am very lucky to be supported by them. But I cannot help but feel like they should have gotten a divorce a long time ago.
It is obvious that they have huge issues communicating, as they usually have shouting matches every other night. This has gotten to the point of being physical, and I threw Dad away from Mom around last year. Afterwards, things got "better" for a little while.
Dad does not know how to communicate his feelings properly, and Mom has a bit of a language barrier, so she cannot understand everything he says at times. The thing is, Dad knows this, and still does not have any patience whenever she doesn't get something. This is also vice versa, where she will try to communicate her feelings to Dad but he won't understand.
Throughout my life, they would argue in front of me, threatening divorce and whatnot. It sucked a lot. Dad didn't have anyone else to talk to, so he unloaded all of his gripes about Mom to me for a long time, every day he took me to school, for years. It caused me to resent her for a while, after hearing all his one-sided stories. And I feel incredibly guilty about that, because I found out a lot of those times, she had every reason to be angry with him.
It didn't happen all the time. But I would always feel tense whenever they were together. There were "good times" before the arguing started again. It took a while before I learned that arguing each day with a partner was not normal, or having "breaks" from arguing was not normal.
I have been advocating for them to get a relationship therapist or marriage counseling. I tried to communicate with my Dad to give Mom some more patience. That didn't work. Both refuse counseling, saying they can do it themselves, and I'm fed up. I gave up trying to fix it by myself, but I feel like I haven't tried hard enough. At the same time, I feel like no matter what I do, nothing will change. I also know I should not be their relationship therapist, or some kind of mediator. But it just fell on me many times.
I don't want to be afraid to move out for something bad to happen to both of them. I don't want to be able to hear their shouting through earbuds blasting music. I don't want to feel anxious each time I hear their raised voices in case some physical crap happens again.
It hurts. It puts a lot of stress on me. I hate them for it, and I feel like an asshole for hating them for it. Am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
KZR78JKKsSDFE6V2wMiyBwnMkwAR34Ns
|
arkl84
|
{
"description": "refusing to listen to my mothers opinion on my medication",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to listen to my mothers opinion on my medication?
|
I just wanted to know a more objective opinion, because I fell like everyone who knows any party in this situation is going to be biased. The story isn’t exactly very interesting or life changing, but I have been feeling wronged and like an ass simultaneously, and don’t know what to do. Should I apologize?
So basically, it all started as a normal conversation at the dinner table, there haven’t been any arguments recently or anything, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. My parents were asking about my plans for the summer, so I said that I was going to try to get an internship at a psychiatric hospital for the two moths I will have off from uni (it is something that many med students do where I am from, not necessarily a psychiatric hospital, but in a hospital in general, because that helps with getting a job later), and didn’t want to add any other plans in advance in case I get it, so that there wouldn’t be any complications later.
My mother instantly seemed to be annoyed by what I said, and simply replied with:
M: “If you want to work in a psychiatric hospital you should get of your medication first”
I felt that this was really out of nowhere, because my medication is not exactly for a behavioural problem, or for a mood disorder, or anything. And even if it was, what does it have to do with anything? When dad saw where the mood was shifting, he instantly excused himself out of there (honestly, I wish I had done the same thing), and so there I was, left alone with my mum. I told her, that the medication I was on was prescribed by a professional, and that it really improves my general wellbeing (it is a SNRI, because I have insomnia, and it really helps me sleep).
She says, that I am too young to be on that kind of medication and therefore am not mentally stable enough for that kind of job. I got a bit irritated, not going to lie. She constantly tells me that I shouldn’t act like a know it all because I don’t have a degree yet, but sometimes the things she says are really ridiculous and she still won’t just accept that sometimes she’s wrong.
So, this is the part that I regret. I was tired of listening to that, so I interrupted her and said, that if she has no medical training at all, let alone a degree in any medical field, she shouldn’t think that she knows better than professionals and that she shouldn’t just throw her uninformed opinion around. She got angry about this, and said that she was just looking out for me, and that I supposedly never listen to her. I got up and tried left the room, because I didn’t see the conversation being beneficial in any way, because we were just both getting mad, and haven’t really addressed this to her since.
I feel like I was wrong by telling her not to say what she thinks, because that’s just her opinion, and when I think back, she should be allowed to express it. But I also feel like it was wrong of her to call me out on a thing I have no control over.
AITA for not wanting to hear her out, because I thought, that her opinion was uninformed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
2EPcVKnoxxXRiP9l5er6O6f3z7h5KSMW
|
ah5qa0
|
{
"description": "expecting my sister to pay me for looking after her dogs",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Expecting my Sister to pay me for looking after her dogs?
|
Right, this is my first proper post on here so bear with me.
In 2017 my sister and her family went on holiday for 10 days, they came to me about 2 months before they went away and asked me if I could house sit and take care of their animals; a lab, two Labradoodles, two cats and their fish.
I agreed, since I often do favours for people, largely her and her family, lifts, pick ups from nights out, emergency child care, babysitting etc etc, standard brother stuff. Not expecting compensation. Not because that sister is legendarily tight, which she is, but because that’s how I’ve been raised. A favour is exactly that.
However, she “insisted” on paying me, no amount was agreed but she promised. Sure, I could do with the money.
Looking after the animals turned out to be a right ball ache since it meant getting up at stupid o’clock before work, and spending my evenings there so RIP social life.
PLOT TWIST she paid me. £120 from what I remember, which turned out to be a good deal for both of us, she saved about £300 in kennel fees and I made a little side money. Smashing.
After that Things were going great in the family, she even upgraded her car to something new and I bought her old one from her at family rates, a shade under market value. (With a few moderate problems that needed fixing, new front shocks etc, but I fix them myself).
HOWEVER, this recent summer rolled around and she came to me again a few months before her annual holiday, “Can you look after the animals again, 12 days this time, and; “I’ll sort you out with some money just like last time.””
Yeah sure!
Same as last time, a ball ache but thinking “great, it’ll pay for my lads holiday” and the animals are genuinely lovely.
They get back, don’t hear from them in days. Meh, jet lag.
Then finally I find out they swung round while I was at work with my payment... a £10 keg of Heineken...reduced on offer...
EVEN NOW I have a strong ambivalence on this, because I feel ungrateful for being annoyed. But pissed I wasn’t properly compensated as promised.
She has since explained to others of an entirely fictional conversation with me where “she did me a favour in reducing the price of her car,” and therefore I was “repaying” her...of course forgetting that she promised compensation/payment... “after” I’d bought and refurbished the car...
Our relationship was rocky for a long time.
I’ve never seen the money.
The keg sits unopened in the garage.
Genuinely... Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
V0XgLObIYuR9jOjiAJtkCidhEchBpYGq
|
auqukq
|
{
"description": "\"telling\" on one of my managers",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for "telling" on one of my managers?
|
The store I work (local chain) for recently closed a location in another town, and a couple managers transferred over to the location where I work.
One of these managers (lets call her "Carrie") was talking casually to another manager and a cashier ("Jane" and "Riley", respectively), and mentioned casually that she used a homophobic slur to jokingly insult her boyfriend. (The F one, if that's important to know.)
Now, the location that I work at is a little different from the others, as many of the employees are LGBT. It's in a very liberal town, and the proportion of gay people here seems to be much higher than in other parts of the US. The other stores in the chain are in smaller towns, and the atmosphere is very different.
The two coworkers she told this story to are LGBT (not going to specify for anonymity), and they were very uncomfortable hearing this. I'm gay, and upon hearing this, was also uncomfortable. This store employs many LGBT people, and most managers do their best with pronouns and preferred names. People in same-gender couples feel comfortable talking about their partners openly.
Neither Jane or Riley told our store manager (highest ranking employee at our location) about this. I feel it's important for her to know, as this has already affected how safe at least three employees feel (I'm not sure if they told anyone else about this).
Obviously it would be best for either Jane or Riley to speak to our store manager about this, and I'm going to talk to them and see what they want to do. I know it's not my story to tell, but neither of them seem like they want to tell our store manager. WIBTA if i went to the store manager and told her about this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
beQGOqxXmSz54MXoStCvpVlmhoDMtMEb
|
b9kkt4
| null |
AITA Housemate for asking noise levels to be kept low?
|
Recently I've been working on my final college project and I'm getting close to completion. I live in a house with multiple other people and my bedroom happened to share a wall with the main living quarters. This area doesn't tend to be used often as it's just a set of couches, a TV that hasn't been turned on in a year and then a door into the kitchen.
In the last month or so one of my housemates has been having friends round and having multiple loud conversations with them, raucous laughter, banging, loud music and a lot of irritating behaviour. To lesson the noise in my room while I work I ask to close the one of the doors that connects from the living room into the hallway, which then connects to my bedroom.
I was informed that this was rude, I just asked nicely. "Please could you close the living room door? I'm working." Was my exact phrasing.
Once it's been getting to 9:30-10pm I've been requesting for them to turn it down as I am awake for 6-7am most days so I can make it to class, I never ask in a rude or impolite manner, I just ask.
I was informed that this is rude and pretentious because "10pm is early."
AITA here?
BONUS:
I'm moving our at the start of next month. The majority of the cooking utensils, pots, pans, cutlery, crockery and other such items are mine. WIBTA if I take all of those with me, forcing my old house mates to buy new?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
ghfG0WSXzWvZ9oznjb0GfT80T70DUqoL
|
9tvw4a
|
{
"description": "delaying the time I came to a friend gathering for an hour or two",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For delaying the time I came to a friend gathering for an hour or two.
|
Okay so to start this off, this issue really has been solved I just wanna see what everyone else things not to justify myself but I’m just genuinely curious.
So a while back my friend group had some plans to drink my 2 roommates my girlfriend her best friend and her girlfriend. We do this almost every Thursday as it’s kinda always an informal plan. Anyways we make very loose plans for 8 i emphasis loose because that’ll come back later. Anyways, in the meantime me and my roommate go to see her girlfriend at work and decide just on a split decision to go see a movie. I tell my girlfriend we’re gonna do that and we might be a little late to the get together, but my other roommate was there to let everyone in. My girlfriend said she’s fine with it. Anyways I thought everything was fine, until apparently my girlfriend and her friend say to each other it was really fucked up. But didn’t tell me and my roommate they thought it. We arrived at like 9:30-10:00 and we just drank and watched stupid horror movies. I just don’t get why they were upset it wasn’t very formal plans, and my girlfriends best friend the one that was most upset actually just spent most of her time speaking to her significant other in the kitchen not really even hanging out.
I’m only making this post now because I found out like a month later my girlfriend thought it was fucked up but didn’t tell me at the time. When I tried to defend my logic she said “why are you so defensive why don’t you just apologize and say it won’t happen again.” But I don’t feel like I should have to? I asked her permission to go at the time and she told the friend group where we went.
So what do you guys thing? Am I a oblivious ass?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
MXw835ZFI3UiX2GoTkJ7CNhm8uN3gxYF
|
9v4mrf
|
{
"description": "not moving off the sidewalk when a large group is approaching",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not moving off the sidewalk when a large group is approaching
|
On an almost daily basis people on my campus will walk in large groups (often on their phone or talking and not paying attention). Sometimes people will see me walking and will not move even an inch to let me pass, so I just walk straight into them. It usually pisses them off quite a bit, but I always make space for people coming towards me when I’m in a group. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
tzPqfyC6HhHrOgu3APLFh104g4jI6Vtr
|
b3n7js
|
{
"description": "mentioning this conversation I've had with this professor (which was borderline flirty but I gave him the benefit of doubt) to another professor and people in my class",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for mentioning this conversation I've had with this professor (which was borderline flirty but I gave him the benefit of doubt) to another professor and people in my class?
|
Note: I am not from the west so things are culturally different here. It is also very legal for profs to flirt with their students.
I work as a part-time staff at a bookstore. This older guy (Prof A) once came to the bookstore. He was very friendly and asked me for book recommendations as he was " completely clueless" when it comes to picking the right book. Turns out he is a prof from my college. I think he may be flirting given his friendly tone and how he probably isn't "completely clueless" when it comes to books in his field but I decided to give him the benefit of doubt that he was just being friendly.
For my major, we later had this course where we had to work under A for a rotation. A guy in my class was asking how Prof A is like in a class discussion. I mentioned briefly meeting him in the bookstore. The prof in charge of arranging this rotation (Prof B) was surprised and said profs rarely openly admit they are "clueless" when it comes to books in their fields. She later asked more questions and then smiled and said never mind.
Anyway, I later mentioned his incident to my mum when we were talking about the possibility of male profs being nicer to female students. My mum was very upset I mentioned how Prof A asked for book recommendations to Prof B. She said I am in my 20s and even Prof B could sense he was flirting so surely I knew what was going on. My mum got really angry at me and she thinks I told Prof B what happened at the bookstore as I enjoy bragging about the attention I got from Prof A. She asked what was my agenda in doing that and reprimanded my actions as nothing good will come out of it (Prof B will either see me as gossiping about Prof A or Prof A being flirty with everyone). She said what I've said about Prof A in front of Prof B and my peers is "extremely disrespectful" to Prof A. I said I only mentioned it as I gave Prof A the benefit of doubt and only casually mentioned it as a small talk topic.
So am I the jerk? I am really upset at my mum as she seems to think I am being very disrespectful on purpose when that was not my intention. Tbh Prof A said even more borderline flirty stuff but I've skipped all of that - I only mentioned him asking for book recommendations as it is relevant to his field of interest. I've noticed how my parents often jump to the conclusion that I am the jerk when I discuss interpersonal "conflicts" outside of home with them and I am not sure what to do in these cases.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
eienSbJPkhHGmj00qqpUWJXYDUwT7n3t
|
arh8c8
|
{
"description": "telling my friend why I can't talk to him instead of ignoring him like I told my boyfriend I would",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my friend why I can’t talk to him instead of ignoring him like I told my boyfriend I would
|
AITA- So my boyfriend and I have constant issues with who each other is talking to. In this particular case it’s someone I have known for almost three years now. We were friends for a year and a half and at about that time my friend and I started hooking up. We never considered it dating and it lasted for maybe about a month. Afterwards we agreed we were still friends and would still hang out. Flash forward a year my boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months and he has asked me not to talk to this guy anymore. I agreed because I know it upsets him.
So today, my friend messaged me a picture of myself he had on his phone from a year ago today. I kindly respond “hey, I’m sorry but I can’t chat because it causes problems in my relationship since we used to hook up. Please don’t think I’m ignoring you.” Immediately after I tell my boyfriend and he gets beyond mad because I had said previously that if my friend messaged me I wouldn’t respond. My boyfriend says i shouldn’t have said anything because last time my friend and i talked I briefly said i had to go because us talking had upset my boyfriend. I get called a liar, told I always go back on my word, etc.. I have expressed to him how upset it makes me that I can’t talk to people that are my friends (he’s made me stop talking to other guys that I’ve never slept with) but he doesn’t see this guy as my friend.
So basically, AITA for telling my friend instead of ignoring him like I had said I would?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
1gO8pTK8kXMi1ZpIQF6ERlv7bZmMeH2Z
|
aiz6f6
|
{
"description": "not giving in to my bf to make him happy",
"pronormative_score": 45,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not giving in to my bf to make him happy
|
So to preface my LDR boyfriend and I have been dating since June, he’s a decent chunk older than me I’m 18 he’s 33. He has a problem of not letting things go, if I said I’d do something and fell asleep early he gets mad and throws a bit of a fit and won’t text me all day or something. He’s kinda selfish and tends to always make things about him. Well yesterday it was around 8 am and he started getting sexual I told him I had a long day ahead of me and we could do stuff that night after I got off work and finished studying for my exam on Friday (I’m super stressed). Anyways he asked if I wanted to try something he’s been talking about wanting me to try for a while (I’m not opposed to it we just haven’t gotten around to it) And I said well I’ll see, it depends how tired I am, he then threw a hissy fit being like “you always say that, you never do anything for me” blah blah blah. He was mad at this point I got pissed. I didn’t say anything I responded calmly and firmly that we would try it eventually but I’m very stressed. And he then proceeded to ignore me for a good 8-10 hours. After I got home from work I was exhausted, he didn’t bring it up but he’s still acting bitchy even this morning, giving me one word answers etc. I just don’t know if I’m in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
MJ4MUmAPTYNnuhoH5EnetcXI0vLcspz9
|
9udo6x
|
{
"description": "getting my family to visit my sister to talk while she was spiraling with her anxiety and depression",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting my family to visit my sister to talk while she was spiraling with her anxiety and depression?
|
This happened a while back, but my sister brings it up from time to time. Basically, about a year ago my sister was on a bad mix of medications. She was constantly picking fights with people, she was depressed, and so anxious she barely left the house. It looked like it just kept spiraling down and things kept getting worse. My parents are divorced, but they still get along well. I thought it would be helpful to get my mom, dad, and myself together and take her out to eat and let her know we love her and support her and talk to her about how we think she may need some help. Basically it was an “intervention” she wasn’t expecting. She was pretty mature about it while it was happening, there were some tears. My sister brings it up all the time that it was a crappy thing to do. I can imagine that it may have felt shitty that the first time the four of us were together again it was because of this reason, but I feel like it was a necessary wake up call.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
L8wsj9lOzCqL78nuhGHAWOtnV0yDoiXh
|
avh6b2
|
{
"description": "telling my brother/roommate that leaving beer bottles to dry on our counter is pointless",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my brother/roommate that leaving beer bottles to dry on our counter is pointless?
|
He rinses the bottles out (which is great) but then will leave them on the counter for 2-3 days before throwing them away in the recycling. He argues he doesn’t want water pooling up in the recycling from he recently rinsed bottles, but idk anyone who thinks that’s an actual issue? Was probably too harsh in addressing the issue but I wanted to poke around seeing how crazy/sane of a roommate i’m being.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CfQId8HSXwQBD44qRcmR2Au5cAfw49xf
|
at4bv0
|
{
"description": "putting telling this girl how I actually feel",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for putting telling this girl how I actually feel?
|
Mobile blah blah Stoopid format
Okay, I know from the title that it sounds like I want to confess to this girl. I don't. I actually want to tell her that her actions make me a little angry.
So I met this girl about two years ago, but we never formally introduced ourselves until about a month ago. Ever since we've known of each other's existence, she has just been very rude, and not like obviously rude, under the radar kind of rude, you know what I mean? Like, what she says throws a ton of disrespect without actually strictly saying things, and it gets very much on my nerves.
She's called me gay multiple times for my hairstyle and my hobbies, I'm not gay and I've affirmed this multiple times and she continues to do it. She calls another one of my friends gay for the same thing minus the hair, but he doesn't seem to care.
She also has this weird habit of asking if my hair is greasy (it's not) and then telling me it is when I insist that it isn't. It gets very much to me as I take pride in my hair.
Also to mention, another one of my friends' friend dated her for a while and said she was a nightmare to deal with. They broke up after maybe a month. I don't know what "nightmare" strictly means, but that doesn't sound good.
The one main thing that conflicts me here is now that we've gotten to know each other, she doesn't do it to me as much, but she's still rude to other people. I only got to know her because we were forced to sit near each other in class, and despite the divisions, I try to be nice to everyone, so we learned a thing or two. As I was saying, I'm conflicted, because some mutual friends we have are closer to her, and I'm not sure they would like it if I told this girl about how I feel with her actions.
So Reddit, WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
mUnhHHgcZOQ8ssAqoaEOPXwzb5R42p0B
|
a6dyzu
|
{
"description": "wanting my fiancé to help around the house more",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my fiancé to help around the house more?
|
In March of this year, I moved down to California to start living with my girlfriend, who became my bride-to-be very soon after. We’ve had our ups and downs, have generally been happy, but one thing has come up over and over again: I’ve always felt like a total servant boy.
Whenever we have garbage, I’m always the only one to take it out. When we have dirty dishes, they’ll sit in a pile untouched until I do them.
I’m almost always the one who cooks dinner; and when I cook, I do it alone while she relaxes in our room, but if she’s the one in the kitchen, she expects me to be there with her to help. If I work late, I’ll always come home to find her sleeping next to an emptied UberEats bag- she never seems to cook for herself.
I’m always the only one who does the laundry, though she does have an excuse for that one- she tells me she’s afraid of secluded, closed-off, dirty places, and so our apartment building’s laundry room gives her the creeps. That’s fair enough, so I tell her she can make up for it by folding the clean laundry- but she always procrastinates on that for days. I’m currently sitting next to a pile of her clothes that was finished on Wednesday and she has still not put away, and that’s how it generally goes whenever I ask her to. Usually, I just don’t bother asking and put it away myself, but then she will complain that she can’t find where anything is and that I did it wrong. To her credit, she once told me she feels uncomfortable about folding my laundry because she thinks I’ll just end up complaining about how she did it, and that’s completely true- though I regret it and do my best not to repeat it, I have behaved like that in the past.
And the one thing that bothers me the most is that, day in and day out, she is always telling me to get up and bring her things from the kitchen. The kitchen is only a room away, and I never ask the same of her - if I want something, I always get it myself - but if she feels like having a snack or a glass of water, the duty falls on my shoulders. I know it’s so petty, but when combined with everything else, I just always feel like she’s completely unwilling to lift a single finger and views me as a free butler.
I’ve confronted her about my feelings over this matter several times in the past, and she has a typical answer: she works 40 hours a week, more work and harder work than my own job (so she puts it), and it always leaves her tired and stressed, so she shouldn’t be expected to do so many extra things. It’s true that I don’t work quite as often - at my retail job I usually work closer to 20-30 hours per week - but she works a steady 9-to-5 office job, Monday through Friday, leaving her with plenty of spare time to do her part, whereas I’m often working late nights or early mornings on any possible day of the week, and it always leaves me exhausted. It’s gotten even more aggravating in the past month, because I’ve gotten a second job for the holiday season that has resulted in my actually working closer to 40-50 hours a week, but she still hasn’t picked up any slack.
But, really, regardless of how hard we may or may not work, the fact is that it’s not actually too difficult to take out the trash, or wash dishes, or put your dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. It doesn’t *tire* me to do them, and I accept them as just the natural duty of anyone who lives in a home. It doesn’t bother me that I have to exert the energy. What bothers me isn’t the labor, it’s feeling like I’m being treated as an unequal partner in this relationship, who’s saddled with all the extra chores because I have less value. Sometimes, she will add the extra excuse that she is burdened by her anxiety, depression, and ADHD- which hurts, because I have all those conditions too, but I still find the energy to do what needs to be done. It feels like yet another way of saying that my feelings matter less even if they’re the same feelings as her own.
This problem has ended up starting fights more and more over the past few months. She’s now sometimes apologetic toward me when she asks me to do something, but hasn’t actually started doing more work herself. She grew up in an abusive home, and sometimes I see her shrink away or go silent when she sees I’m upset- it always makes me feel like a total jackass. Am I wrong for expecting more from her? Is her tougher work life enough for me to be reasonably expected to pick up all of the housework?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
nnTHC3eGxslOITrb2meksXg4b8eqJrpa
|
asfanh
|
{
"description": "explaining religion to my friends",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for explaining religion to my friends?
|
I am very strong about my disbelief in religion, am i wrong for making my friends question their beliefs?
(i have lost many many friends over this) probably will continue, but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 10
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
8tpCWVHvuubUIqTsDOzKydEDfCTcBySS
|
b320w2
|
{
"description": "asking about a will/anything I might be owed from my dad passing away",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for asking about a will/anything I might be owed from my dad passing away?
|
My dad died two years ago yesterday. My family wasn’t well off, so I started a gofundme page completely on my own after asking my parents if that’s what they wanted. My dad didn’t really want to ask for monetary help, but accepted it because he didn’t want my mom to end up in a bad spot financially from medical debt. I was already 21 at the time and moved out with my boyfriend so financially, his medical bills didn’t affect my living situation.
My mom and his old work friends helped put together two different benefits after his passing to help further continue to cover costs. I didn’t have too much to do with planning with those. I was just asked to show up and talk to people, give raffle tickets, show people my dads collection of cool stuff, whatever. I want to stress I didn’t have much involvement with the benefits. My fundraiser page didn’t get to what the bill total was, so I didn’t think much of the two benefits. Apparently there was also a donation basket at my dads funeral, I’m not sure if it was by request from people attending so they could keep helping or if it was my moms idea.
The hospital ended up covering a lot of the medical bills after insurance ran it through and my mom took it there to be looked at. The rest was covered by any money that was given for the cause. I don’t know how much was left after medical bills were paid, but I know they were completely paid and then some, since my mom made a donation to the hospice care place.
I never asked about a will or any money before, and I don’t know if it would be bad if I did now. I ended up some medical debt recently. I had to have a root canal and a major cleaning on my teeth because my parents were never able to take me as a kid because of either no insurance, or it was just neglected. I also have a few hundred in psychiatry bills because I recently got officially diagnosed with five different mental illnesses, also something that we weren’t able to do when I was younger. Not only do I have the office bills, I now take medication. My insurance does not cover it all.
The debt is really scary, and I know it’s my *own* debt, but a lot of this I’m having to handle by myself as an adult because of the neglect I had for these issues as a kid. I don’t want anyone to think that I believe I’m entitled financial help or cash by my mom, I don’t want anyone to think I’m looking for validation. I’m just in a tough spot and want to know if I WBTA if I asked about a will or if there’s any way I could get help with my bills but I don’t want my mom to think I’m just trying to get some of the fundraiser money.
TL;DR my dad passed away and many different fundraisers were given to my mom for medical bills even though the hospital covered quite a bit of it. I’ve since required medical debt dealing with issues that have gotten worse since my parents didn’t/couldn’t get these issues checked up when I was younger. WIBTA to ask for a will or any help *now*?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
c1onTAo2Q13Q8RObZpeEPcgX8Sdr1hXf
|
b8d8fo
|
{
"description": "not enlisting at MEPS",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I dont enlist at MEPS
|
Hey I might join the army soon but the only thing I'm hesitant about is the implications of getting to MEPS and completely disliking the contract and saying no. WIBTA for stringing along my recruiter? I know that I owe nothing to them but still
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
NFUPbLD6gdF48mET7CqUAvXfCUi0wuma
|
axlcrl
|
{
"description": "telling my dad I'm not going to see him again if he carries on being so unfair to my younger brother",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling my dad I'm not going to see him again if he carries on being so unfair to my younger brother
|
My dad (58M) lives with my younger brother (18M) while I (20M) moved out 2 years ago and live around 30 minutes away. My dad is retired and through his desicion (with the obvious push from me and my brother), he got two dogs who are both around 1-2yrs old.
Recently, my younger brother has started a fulltime apprenticeship which takes up 40hrs of his week- as well as this he wants to go to the gym 4-5 times a week and quite a large amount of college work needs to be completed also.
My brother used to walk the dogs everyday but now a lot more of his time has been taken up and he can't do it. My dad has said he doesn't have time to walk them himself even though he spends max 4-5 hrs a day writing books/ cutting hair.
My younger brother suffers slightly with anxiety and I thought this was incredibly unfair of my dad to put the strain on him. We've both spoke to him seriously about the matter and try to agree on them taking turns but he still says he doesn't have time to walk them when he blatenly does and is down to laziness. I resulted in saying that I'm not going to visit again (which is normally every weekend or so) until I feel as though there isn't so much weight on my brothers shoulders to do something which should be shared(walking dogs).
Have I dealt with this the best way? I love the dogs a lot and think it's very inconsiderate of my dad to not only put the strain on my 18yr old brother but having the dogs stay in all day(dog owners you know the feels).
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9wj2m0
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{
"description": "making my best friends girlfriend cheat on him to get him out of an abusive relationship",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA for making my best friends girlfriend cheat on him to get him out of an abusive relationship
|
So I (male) have know that my best friend (male) has been in an abusive relationship for almost 2 years now. It is really evident to me how much it is effecting his everyday life, as he is just so addicted to this person yet gets physically and verbally abused.
He hasn’t been able to bring himself to end it with her despite me telling him how much better it will make him feel.
I am not sure if she will cheat on him, however I would not be surprised. I also know that it would destroy him to be cheated on and he would break off the relationship.
WIBTA if I organised an outside friend of mine to try and seduce his girlfriend to hookup with him?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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zY3ajqAjU7SBLCgnwh0NMyLV5JLZTXNE
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aqfowg
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{
"description": "not wanting to sit with my coworkers at lunch",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to sit with my coworkers at lunch?
|
I just started at a new job about a month ago and it's been going really great. Everyone is helpful and friendly and they all treat me as though I've been there forever.
During lunch, we all sit in the cafeteria together, about 5 of us. It's fine and I mostly listen to their stories about things that have happened in the past.
I wouldn't say I'm shy, more like I prefer to just not talk. I've had this problem for my entire life. In big group settings I'm much more of a listener than the group talker but I'm fine if someone either asks me something directly, if it's a small group (3 or less) or if im super comfortable.
Sometimes during lunch, I make excuses of not being able to go down to the cafeteria and stay at my desk and eat alone. It feels the most natural to me but I also feel guilty doing it everytime.
AITA for not showing up to lunch sometimes? Should I just suck up the social anxiety and sit with them? Genuinely dont want to outcast myself or hurt their feelings.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
Z7TOV4y21CawIuLZfcMjXjQtFbgqQCD2
|
aucqat
|
{
"description": "wanting to keep a separate bank account from my husband",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to keep a separate bank account from my husband?
|
(I’m on mobile, so I’m not sure how the formatting will be.)
My husband (28m) and I (27F) been married for three years and lived together for a few years prior to being married. We’ve always handled our finances the same way and he had never expressed any issues with our way of doing things prior to recently.
Our finances are kept completely separate other than when we pay bills, which we split equally. Every month I add up what we owe for mortgage, electricity, gas, internet, etc., and divide it in half, then tell him how much his half is. He sends me his portion and I pay the bills. I prefer being in charge of this because I have anxiety and will worry constantly about whether or not he paid something on time, and I am also the more organized of the two of us. He’s never complained about this and I’ve even asked him if he minds me talking charge of the bills and he said he doesn’t. He’s happy to just send me the money and forget about it. He says he is still happy with this arrangement, as am I.
Other than the bills, all of our finances are completely separate. We have separate bank accounts, we both work and both make close to the same amount, but recently I’ve begun making more than him. We could both support ourselves if we lived alone, with some left over. We aren’t rich, but it’s not like either of us is living paycheck to paycheck either. In the past, the only purchases we had to check with each other on were things that affected the other person, such as a new pet, new furniture for the main area of the house, etc., because that’s common courtesy.
Recently he’s been wanting us to have a joint bank account where we put all our savings, and to talk with each other before making expensive purchases. When I ask him why he says he wants us to be better at saving money, and he wants to feel like we’re building a life together. He never used to care about what I spend my money on, but recently he’s begun getting annoyed when I make expensive purchases. We own our house and are not planning on having children so it’s not like there’s a joint expense we both want to save up for.
I really don’t want to change the way we handle money. I’m better at saving than he is. He pretty much just blows his money on whatever after the bills are paid, and I put a good amount into my savings account each time I get paid. He doesn’t have any savings, I do. I don’t care what he spends his money on as long as the bills get paid, which they do, and I’m feeling annoyed that he doesn’t extend me the same courtesy anymore. It bothers me that he’s begun complaining about my expenses, even though they don’t negatively impact him at all, and I’m not comfortable with the idea of having a joint bank account since we have very different ways of handling our money. I’m happy with the way things are. He isn’t. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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InNlhsDlX7yD49apSoQrZNzxbQ6oulPB
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a5c74w
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{
"description": "getting mad at my recently divorced parents",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my recently divorced parents?
|
So about a month back, my parents told me that they were getting divorced because my mom was feeling unhappy. It's been stressing me out and it's just difficult because we are moving and it's messed up my life a bit.
I understand why she did this, and I don't hold anything against her for it, but sometimes I'll start thinking about it and get pissed, and she asks me why I'm mad. And I tell her that its because of her getting divorced, and she gets really mad at me because she says I shouldn't blame her for wanting to be happy.
Even though I understand why she did it and I don't blame her for doing it because she did what she felt she needed to do, It still sucks for me and I'm not gonna be happy about it. I've told her this, but she still can't understand why I would be mad.
So, AITA for getting mad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
O1Y7nsYscdIX5JGBFk3VTi7mfWvGeL39
|
aw3myn
|
{
"description": "cutting off my best friend because I think he used me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I cut off my best friend because I think he used me?
|
Couldn't find a better way to phrase it.
I'm actually having this issue with two of my friends, but the one that bothers me more is the one with my best friend, so I'll go with that.
I'll start by acknowledging my blame: I find it hard to say "No" when people ask for my help and I get upset when they don't show me the gratitude I think I deserve for helping them.
My best friend and I have a great friendship, we used to hang out a lot, either just the two of us, or in a group of friends, or just me, him and his girlfriend. We used to see each other at least every two weeks, but we have the kind of friendship where we could not see each other for months and still be best friends when we meet.
A month and a half ago, he was in the middle of his exams, while I had finished mine (we go to the same university), so, naturally, I wanted to relax for a few days, use my days off from work to get some rest and visit my family. However, he asked me to help him study for his remaining exams and, reluctantly, I said I'd help him. I know I should have refused if I really didn't want to, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him no, so I spent my free time studying together with him for his exams. This went on for three days, admittedly not a long period of time, and he knew I had put aside my plans in order to help him.
Aaand that's the last time I've seen my friend. Ever since, I've initiated conversations with him, hoping that we'd hang out, but he was always dismissive or not answering my texts. In this time, he went out only with his girlfriend and her friends, never with our group of friends. Now, don't get me wrong, he has always spent more time with his girlfriend than us and that never bothered me, I would never intrude on his relationship. Plus, me and his girlfriend get on really well, so I'm not being petty.
Recently, he has been trying to reconnect and this time I didn't feel like hanging out with him anymore because I still feel that I was discarded when no longer needed, so I was dismissive when texting him. He just sent me a message asking me if I'm upset with him and I thought I should ask your opinions before answering.
P.S. I know I said I'd only talk about the situation with my best friend, but now I think I should mention my other friend for a better understanding of my almost pathological inability to say no. The other friend is my roommate, he is one year younger than me and goes to the same university as I, and he always asks me for help on exams and homework. He always showed gratitude for that, so that's not the issue. My problem is that, during the summer vacation, three months long, he always came up with an excuse to not hang out. I brought it up to him last night and he seemed to realize I was right, but was dismissive of the conversation and just kept saying I wasn't right, thinking I was joking even though I insisted I was serious. This just made me more upset.
Sorry for the long text, thanks for reading!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
EixTSiv76m711Oo40D9RE1XYiGbEhkV6
|
asyn20
|
{
"description": "telling my ex's new boyfriend she's been cheating with me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
WIBTA if I tell my ex’s new boyfriend she’s been cheating with me?
|
so first and foremost so i get the most accurate answer, i’m still in love with her. just having her text me lights my day up wether it’s bad or good just any interaction with her. about 2 weeks ago she messaged me and i had told her about a date i went on. things got carried away and she started saying things that someone in a relationship shouldn’t say. in the end she ended up sending nudes, saying things that made me think she loves me, and we never did anything in person, but we hung out after that. she started dating this dude right after we broke up, and we broke up bc she slept with my best friend. she tweeted today how he calls her some fucking stupid ass shit and how it melts her heart, but was just saying the other day how she wants to marry me and all this bullshit. would i be the asshole if i told him? i know she’s not going to, and i don’t want this to be some petty shit but i already know it seems as if bc i got triggered by a tweet. idk i wanna be a good guy, but i also realize i’m the bad guy here, and i don’t really see any good of this whole situation.
i don’t say anything. she continues the relationship as if nothing happens and i gotta be sad as fuck and dwell
or
i say something and even if they break up or not, she’s gonna hate me and not want to talk to me.
idk i’m confused as fuck and i’m so in love with this dumb bitch it hurts
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
UkjKTMIEazIJYg4eCJZXwHhjjkHPUrSc
|
ao6wx6
|
{
"description": "Canceling Weekly plans",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Canceling Weekly Plans
|
This post may have a bit of backstory Ill leave a TL:DR.
My boyfriend(22M) well call J and I(21F) had weekly dungeons and dragons plans with 3 other people S(23f), P(21M), and M(19M). They had been at M's house as hes the DM (Dungeon Master aka person who runs the game for the uninitiated).
Our problem lies with S and P being late constantly or canceling. They are a couple and one of them always has a reason for being late. My boyfriend and I work difficult, early morning, shifts. Mine starts at 4am and his 6am. Dnd should start at 5pm Because of their lateness we either have to end it early or my boyfriend and I go to work very tired.
They were made well aware of our schedule when they proposed d&d to us and they agreed to accept it. S has no job but is in school, we changed the day of d&d to fit her new schedule in an attempt to limit cancellations.
Nothing helped, she continued to plan things for the new d&d day and expect us and the dm to move our schedules and accommodate.
One day it was going out to dinner with the parents she lives with, at 5pm and only telling us as we were pulling up to the Dms house. She didnt start heading over to his house untill 8:30 at which time we already had to leave because we only stick around till 10 or so at the latest and full sessions take longer than 2 hours. Other times her boyfriend was at the gym or she was doing ***extra*** credit for school.
One time they left half way through to say goodbye to a friend that was graduating. We thought "no big deal its right down the street itll take 5 minutes" WRONG! They sat through an entire college graduation and hung out with their friend. They returned 3 hours later and we barely got anything done.
When she is there, shes too busy talking on her phone, texting, being on facebook, taking selfies. She hardly roleplays and doesnt seem to get anything thats going on.
We tried talking to her personally about her time wasting and we tried talking to the DM and her boyfriend but they look at us like were assholes for suggesting maybe shes not really that into d&d.
After literally like 4 months of this my boyfriend and I had enough and I texted all of them. I told each person that I didnt think D&D was working and we didnt want to continue I tried to remain as polite as possible stating my reasons. I told them it was no longer fun, it was becoming stressful and wearing on our sleep, we were tired of the constant cancellations ect. I made sure to relay that in no way did I mean anything mean by this and that we really wish to remain friends with them. Apparently that was a huge mistake.
S went apeshit on me. She sent me a 5 paragraph essay on how hurt she was and how I was being such a bitch for "rage quitting" she called me a colossal hypocrite and said I canceled d&d almost as much.
Spoiler alert, I have never called it off ever. I have told her when it would be impossible for us to fit into her new schedule when she switches things around. I have told her when her actions will mean no d&d but I have never cancled because of my own life, neither has my boyfriend who showed up even though he had a massively painful double ear infection. She then tried to claim I was ay fault for almost, but not actually, canceling D&D because my 10 year old cat was deathly ill and I needed the first available appointment, which ended up being the next day and not even on D&D day.
She said I must be on my phone as much as her because I used her charger once to chsrge my phone, I arrived with my phone on 10% and needed it to not die. Yes I do use my phone occasionally but the difference is, I am paying attention to the game. She doesnt even know its her turn till you scream at her and she plays two characters.
She made it clear her first intention was to not even respond at all to my text, very mature, but that she had too many issues with me.
All in all it looks like we lost the DM, S and P as friends forever as they made sure to point out that their "trust is broken" and they "are very dissappinted in me"
Honestly it feels like a relief to be done with it all but at the same time I cant help wondering if I was right so I leave myself at your mercy.
TL:DR My "friends" were habitually late and had no real regard for my bf and I's schedule. We brought up our concerns and stated wed rather be friends than continue arguing about D&D so we were pulling out of it. They intern ended our friendship and are "very dissapointed"
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Z3Iq0pK5Tgo36r3UymSepymLIHdbKgiU
|
b29d6z
|
{
"description": "asking my boyfriend to stop camping nude with his best friend and accidentally ruining their friendship",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend to stop camping nude with his best friend and accidentally ruining their friendship?
|
Just to add context and cull any possible confusion, everybody in this story is a male university student, names are all made up. Sorry its so long.
My boyfriend, 'James', and his best friend, 'Phil', are both very outdoorsy naturists. I'm neither. Since before we met, they've been cycling somewhere remote in Dartmoor and camping, walking over a weekend, usually spending any time near the tent or near a body of water nude.
It’s widely known they do this together, and there’s a photo album that gets dragged out whenever people ask about it. Obviously those two don’t care, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me so many people have seen my boyfriend naked. They’re both pretty hot guys and I feel like some people asking just want to see them for dirty reasons rather than actual curiosity. Its always straight women and gay guys asking.
Phil is straight. I’m not worried Phil is trying to fuck my boyfriend. Obviously, that doesn't go for James though, and Phil is an attractive guy. James insists that he doesn't look at Phil that way, but I’ve always found that hard to believe.
A couple of weeks ago I asked James if he would ever think about stopping going on the camping trips, or at least stop doing them naked, and explained why it made me uncomfortable. He told me I could come if I wanted to, which I turned down because as I said I’m not outdoorsy or a naturist. He told me that when I knew about the hobby when we got together, and it wasn’t negotiable. We talked for a little longer and decided to break up because I couldn’t get over it and he wasn’t willing to give it up, agreed to keep the reason why mostly between us except for close friends.
James understandably told Phil, but Phil told other people. James was upset with Phil for spreading it, apologised to me and had an argument with Phil, and now they’re not talking to each other. Now basically everybody except James is blaming me for the two best friends falling out. Phil and I had a huge argument, several mutual friends have made snippy comments.
The conclusion seems to have been reached that I’m somehow an asshole for ultimately not liking the concept of my boyfriend spending weekends with another guy naked, and for bringing it up ruining their friendship by no real fault of my own. Am I going insane or is this not my fault?
**TLDR; my boyfriend and his best friend are known for going camping nude together. My boyfriend is gay, his friend is straight. I asked my boyfriend if they’d stop, he said no, and we broke up. The friend spread why we broke up, the two of them argued over it, and now they’ve fallen out. People are blaming me for the rift between them and I think its bullshit.**
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
FsiTfmUkee4LoRw0tcvJhA7ts6fZDRhB
|
aasisj
|
{
"description": "not letting my MIL watch our newborn baby",
"pronormative_score": 89,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for not letting my MIL watch our newborn baby?
|
I’m due anytime in the next month with my second daughter, my husbands first. My husbands mother is basically off her rocker. She was hospitalized for about 6 days a few months ago after she had what she called a seizure. Doctors did test after test & couldn’t find one thing wrong with her and ended up referring her to a psychiatrist. I think she went maybe once or twice. We went to visit her a week or two after she left the hospital & she was overly dramatic. Crying, rubbing my stomach, saying she would get better to watch the baby. Just over the top.
Fast forward, she’s out of work for about 10 weeks and is completely fine being home & not working. The week she goes back to work she has another ‘seizure’ at her job. They call an ambulance & her husband tells them to cancel it & just takes her home. Seemed like even he feels like she’s exaggerating things.
It’s been about two months since that & she’s convinced she’s perfectly fine & keeps insisting she’s watching our baby. My husband is on the same page as I am but she has a habit of dismissing everything he tells her. I’m convinced I’m going to have to be the one to put my foot down so will I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zKis61VIBsefRyuYblF72zzaupRNETri
|
askvww
|
{
"description": "not paying a \"fraudulent\" doctor",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not paying a "fraudulent" doctor?
|
Earlier in 2018, I went to my doctor - who once questioned my morals and why I wanted tattoos during a physical - for some help with a breathing issue.
I was asked for any history of lung/airway issues. I told her that when I was 5 I had Restrictive Airway Disease (RAD), which was treated and had since disappeared with no trace and no issues. In fact, I hardly even remember having it; it kinda feels like a dream. I told her all of this, and she then proceeded to insist that it was asthma, and that I still have it. She didn't even look at my records or run any tests. I told her that I haven't had any issues or test results that would ever indicate that I did have asthma, and any suspicions were cleared when I got over RAD as a kid. I haven't touched an inhaler in 15 years at this point.
She pursued this and prescribed me an inhaler. I thought that the doctor would know best, and she might have noticed something that I haven't, but I was otherwise sure she was mistaken. I decided to try the inhaler as instructed, since I could disprove her if it didn't work, but potentially be helped if she happened to be right.
Surprise, surprise! It didn't do anything. I come back two weeks later for my scheduled follow-up, telling her it didn't work. She then literally pulled up a Bing search of hyperventilation, and started *reading from the screen* about it, and proceeded to tell me to breathe into a bag. Gee, thanks. That didn't help either (big shock), and I decided it would be best to try and sort it out on my own.
Months later, I get a bill in the mail from my PCP. When I asked about it, they said it was because I got a consult without insurance coverage. The problem is: not only did she *not* help me whatsoever, but I was NEVER NOTIFIED THAT I HAD NO COVERAGE, and my insurance was through them, specifically. I would have never gone in if I knew about my insurance, and I would have gotten it sorted out immediately. Needless to say, I still got my insurance fixed as soon as I could.
I've tried bringing this up to their main offices, and all they said was that they're "nonprofit, so it won't go to collections; they'll just keep sending it". Now, I'm living in a different state and haven't seen a bill from them for a few months...until now. I've gotten two this week.
Am I the asshole here? Do I need to pay them, or should I call them and fight this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
1NH5B9sKavPJCg0xHkZaMAFw9bQEct2E
|
auywj8
|
{
"description": "being distant to my fiancé who's ex just passed away",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being distant to my fiancé who’s ex just passed away
|
My fiancé’s ex was found brain dead from a heroin overdose this past week. She’s been very sad, and I really do feel for her and his family, but at the same time I find myself some what emotionally distant from her. Not that I feel insecure that she had feelings for him, but that ultimately I hated this guy and can’t match her feelings.
I never knew him personally. The first time I ever heard about him was early on in our relationship when my fiancé showed me messages he had sent her of him and his friend talking shit about me and trying to get her to hangout with them. I brushed it off as a jealous ex. Why wouldn’t he feel anything but dislike for me? The feeling was mutual.
I fell quickly for my fiancé and in the first year took her on a trip she had been wanting to go on for her birthday. In the middle of conversation at dinner, he calls and she answers. I felt extremely disrespected and we had a discussion about him. She told me all about how there were no feelings for him, that he used to hit her and pull her hair and threaten to come to her school and beat her up. I took her word and moved passed it, but not without new disdain for him. As time went by in our relationship, more details about him would come up here and there, none of them flattering.
Then came the news of his OD. I’ve been trying to be as supportive as possible of my fiancé, but I also feel torn and guilty. Deep down, I felt like if it had to happen to someone, who better than the druggie who put hands on my fiancé. I’m not angry at her for feeling sad, but I do feel slightly confused and slightly distant.
I never heard a single positive word from her or her family about him until his passing. She’s been telling me and her friends about how he was a good guy. I do understand he must have had some great pain in his life, as I don’t believe well adjusted people just casually get in to heroin, but I also feel a lack of sympathy and empathy from the way he’s been framed for me all these years.
Last night she was telling me again about how good of a guy he was and randomly mentioned how he never tried to get between us. I had finally had enough, not in an angry way, but I calmly reminded her of how that wasn’t true and that this was the man who hit her and threatened her. She told me that wasn’t true and that he had only ever pulled her hair and started explaining that by saying she had made him angry. Lies of him hitting her aside, I still said that’s no excuse for him putting his hands on you. I told her I didn’t care for him and it made her even more upset.
AITA for being distant and not feeling anything from his passing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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NOBODY
|
{
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RIGHT
|
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ah1o8h
|
{
"description": "asking someone to pay me back after they confirmed it",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking someone to pay me back after they confirmed it?
|
I had an accident with a razor blade (replacing those box cutter ones) late at night and called a friend whose mom is a nurse she told me to go to the hospital cuz I might need stitches (note the blood was dripping all on my phone and there were mini pudddle on the floor).
I called another friend, since I didn't wanna Uber alone, who had a car let's call him PA, he came and brought his boyfriend and roommate for some reason. I offered my friend to pay the gas (I always do) he refused, as always. When we finished up the doctor said I wouldn't need stitches but should get a shot so all was fine.
I gave the idea of getting something to eat since I haven't had dinner, we go to a 24hour place since it was midnight. PA didn't want to eat, but the BF and Roommate did and I offered to pay, they accepted, but then said they'd pay me back. We sit to eat and Roommate informs BF that the total was 35 bucks and they should pay me later.
Cut to a few weeks later we go out again and BF reminds me he has to pay me, which I reply I'll remind you when my credit card bill comes, he agrees. When my bill came I tell him I wouldn't be able to meet him so I'd just send him a bill with the amount him and his roommate had to pay, since my card app let's me do this.
He proceeds to call me ridiculous and that he took time out of his schedule to take me to the hospital which I should be thankful especially since I was being dramatic over a small cut (note when I called my friend's nurse mom I had just wanted to rub some salt or alcohol on it ) and that he didn't "owe me shit". I was pissed.
I replied " First I never called you, I called PA, I apologise for the miscommunication as since we weren't friends I didn't think you'd expect me to buy you dinner and that I was stupid to actually believe you'd pay me back after you had said so".
I don't have contact with the roommate, but luckily I wasn't hurting for cash so it didn't matter. I just felt his reply was exaggerated and he dates my best friend and he acts like haging out with our friend group is a chore.
Understand this isn't about the cash, his reply really pissed me off. And for a while now I feel he's been taking advantage of PA (PA isn't rich but he's certainly has a better situation than most) and I learned recently that I wasn't the only one in our friend group thinking this.
So Reddit...am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a764b2
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{
"description": "saying no to picking up my sisters",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for saying no to picking up my sisters?
|
Some background knowledge: I'm 21 years old, living in an attached apartment to my parents house. I pay my own bills, pay them rent, and occasionally lend money to them, run errands for them, and cook dinner for them as favors. My mom works part time, four hours a day, and I work full time, though I work in retail so I will sometimes have a weekday off rather than be off the weekend. Today was one of those days. The sisters in question are 8 and 15.
Today my mom came home from work, and asked if I had made any food for her (often when I'm off on a weekday I spend it practicing recipes, and will save her the leftovers since she doesn't get a lunch at work.) Today I hadn't done any cooking, so I told her I didn't have any food for her. She then said, "You should pick up both your sisters from school." I said, "why?" Her reply was, "Because I don't feel like it and you didn't do anything all day."
I felt like she was being a bit...bratty for lack of a better word, so I said no. She then got mad and said, "So you won't do it?" I replied with, "Well what if I pick one of them up for you?" She said that that wouldn't help out at all, of she was going to be out to get one kid she may as well just get the other too. I replied, "Okay, so when you asked if I could get them, you weren't really asking then." She then went on a rant about how she had to grocery shop, pick my sisters up, cook dinner, and take a shower and she was just hinting at needing help. She stormed out to run her errands.
I felt guilty after she left. I felt like I should have just ignored the attitude and agreed. So I texted her and offered to make dinner, so that she could still cross something off her list. She texted back to just forget about it. Just in case, I made enough dinner for my parents and sisters to eat. Instead she sent one of my sisters to borrow eggs from me, because she was cooking and wouldn't come in to face me. I gladly gave them the eggs, but it's been like 12 hours and my mom still won't talk to me.
I'm stuck here. Had my mom flat out said that she had a lot of things to do, I of course would have offered to help. Because of how she asked me, simply saying she didn't want to, I thought I had an option to say no. My guilty little heart says to take the L and apologize, but my sister said my mom completely overreacted, didn't explain herself well, and that she owes ME an apology. Who's the asshole????
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6ayo8
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{
"description": "yelling at a lady with a dog in the park",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for yelling at a lady with a dog in the park
|
This happened a while ago. I frequently jog around a park in which there is a large cement/stone drinking fountain that runs constantly (i.e., no button to press to make the water come out). As I was running by one day, a lady was letting her large dog stand up on its hind legs and lap water from the fountain. As I ran by, I yelled "that is disgusting! Now I will never be able to drink from that fountain again. Thanks!" Dogs lick their butts/genitalia and those of other dogs. I don't care whether or not it is true if dogs have "sterile" mouths, I don't want "sterile" fecal matter or other matter originating from animal genitalia/body fluids on any drinking fountain I am going to use.
​
I should note that there was a spout at the bottom of the fountain that she could have turned on to let her dog drink from. Also, although I haven't had a dog since leaving my parents home many years ago, I don't have anything against dogs and enjoy playing/interacting with them. I just don't enjoy them enough to take on the added responsibility and work required to properly take care of one.
​
So tell me, was I the ass?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
5r99uKmqIsahxhOugB0hTYXb4sRwENvN
|
ayv3pb
|
{
"description": "emotionally manipulating my sugar daddy",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for emotionally manipulating my sugar daddy
|
A little backstory: my SD(sugar daddy) and I have been on and off for about three years. He knows I’m not interested in a emotional relationship.
We had just started an arrangement again, but this time he wanted to do weekly payments. I was ok with that as I have my own business and had been doing fine. Then the shit show started.
I had a major client of my mine pull out of a deal, two flat tires, and a abnormally large electric bill. When we met, I told him and asked if we could just do the whole amount now as I really needed it. He made me pull up my bank account and show him I wasn’t lying. Basically after begging for his help(I’ve never done that before) he agreed to give me a weeks payment early.
The next week I’m at his house when I get a call from my brothers ex-wife’s dad. He told me they found my brother dead this morning. I fell to the floor crying. My SD kinda rubbed my back and told me we had to leave since he was going to work and put me in a Uber.
I understand people don’t know how to act around death. So I wasn’t mad at his lack of emotion. Five days pass and I still haven’t heard from him. When our date night rolls around he finally texts and asks me to dinner so I go.
When we show up he acts like nothing happens and asks why I am in a shit mood. I complain about how stressed I am, how I don’t have the money to fly back home, and how my dad wasn’t going to be at the funeral because he couldn’t afford the trip.
He starts complaining about how when his cousin died a couple years ago he didn’t get to do anything for his funeral because he felt like his family was using him for money and he has no interest in helping me.
Now that left a sour taste in my mouth. We had gotten into fights in the past about stupid shit like shoes, but this was the first time in three years that I actually needed him. I ended up just going home, but per our agreement I did owe him another sleepover.
I ended up pulling together what I needed to go to his funeral(my dad did not) and when I got back home I decided to do the final sleepover so he couldn’t say I scammed him.
Obviously I was not excited to see him. We got into a fight because I didn’t want to sleep in his bed (I was planning on sleeping on the couch) he said he had talked to his dad(his dad hates me) and his dad told him not to help me so he didn’t. He also said he wouldn’t have bought my dad a ticket because no grown man would accept help from his daughter. The fight ends with him telling me to sleep in the bed or leave, so I left.
Now he’s blowing up my phone, calling me a sociopath and saying that I scammed him and I owe him. I told him that I tried to do what we agreed( yeah, world play “sleepover” but still) and if he couldn’t see where he was wrong I want nothing to do with him.
AITA for expecting help even though I didn’t want a full relationship?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
ePpVCIbX5G9VqZvHnOJAkkjYGVfQnKXQ
|
b865eq
|
{
"description": "\"always talking\" about my degenerative inflammatory disease",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for "always talking" about my degenerative inflammatory disease (Ankylosing Spondylitis)?
|
Hello AITA, I am a 21 year old guy, using a throwaway (since this is a medical condition and talking about a confrontation I had this weekend with a guy who I thought was a good friend of mine.
When I was 16 I was diagnosed with a condition called Ankylosing spondylitis which literally has the effect of the bones in my hips and spine fusing together over time. I have good days and I have bad days but I try to live life as best I can. The prognosis is not good and I'm almost certainly looking at joint replacements as a best case scenario, but even with that my spine will fuse and I will lose the ability to walk and probably die of heart failure very young.
Now that that's out of the way, on Saturday night I went out with a friend of mine to a really chill bar. He ended up chatting up this very, very cute girl who just so happened to be there with a group of guys. She came over to our table and she noticed that I sort of winced when I moved because I was having a pretty bad flare up so she asked me if I was feeling ok. She was super cool, was in a masters of nursing program so she actually knew about my condition and we hit it off. I'm not really a "hook up type" dude but I ended up going back to her apartment. It was awesome and I have plans to see her tomorrow night.
My friend is furious with me. He says the girl was "his" because he made "first contact" with her and I should have known to keep my mouth shut. He also went much further saying I always talking about my "stupid fucking disease." I tried to tell him that I didn't bring it up and she actually asked and because she was a nursing student it was a natural conversation. He told me I was a fucking prick who did it on purpose to screw him over. I told him at least he doesn't have to deal with the disease. He screamed at me this is exactly what he was talking about and hung up on me.
I don't know how to feel about what he said. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b9vqsh
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{
"description": "still being at least a little salty at my father for making me change schools back at the start of grade 7",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For still being at least a little salty at my father for making me change schools back at the start of grade 7? (I'm in grade 11 now.... just to give you an idea of my age.)
|
Welp here we bloody go. my first post literally EVER
​
so. a little backstory. I went to the same elementary school for most of my childhood. All the way from K-7 (In my country... elementary is grades from Kindergarten... to grade 8. high school is grade 9-12. no middle school bs.)
This school was like a home by the time I left... although from grades 4-6 I endured relentless bullying from both students and staff.... it felt like home because of the few friends I did have. When I first started this school... I lived across the street with my mom in an apartment. by the end? After a clusterfuck of court battles between my father and mother... I ended up moving in with my father in like grade 3. all the way on the other side of the city. my mom still wouldn't give up... and the court battles would continue for a number of foreseeable years. all this is stories for another time. now... after the move... my father was still working... and his works HQ was on the way to my school... so it worked out. he was making good money too. however.... he retired when I was in grade 6... and all of a sudden... we were on a fixed income. it was by no means impossible... but it was more difficult for my father to make the drive to my school and back... and he presented me with a dilemma that I would ask myself for the entirety of that following summer... would I change schools to help us in the long run... or would I like to graduate with my friends at this school? if I wanted to stay... he would let me... but for high school I would have to go to a school on our side of the city.
​
now... I took a good long while to come up with my answer.... but it was obvious. I wanted to graduate there. I made it known... and after going with my choice for a couple days... he decided against my decision. when he made this known.... I BROKE DOWN. HARD. and... the following day at school.... it was the only day in my life I dreaded going home... I didn't want the day to end. that day ended with hugs from my friends... tears from everyone... and the dreadful sound of that last bell ringing.
​
I know realize it was the best choice for my father to make.... for both of us. despite the hurt it caused. but occasionally... I still think about it... and I am still a little salty... despite my realization it was necessary. Am I In The Wrong Here? I Await your judgement.
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HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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alyl6q
|
{
"description": "being completely uninterested in a girl because of her speech impediment",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being completely uninterested in a girl because of her speech impediment?
|
We were chatting on Tinder for a few days and then texted for a day and decided to meet for dinner and some drinks tonight. She seemed wonderful over text. we had great conversation, great chemistry, similar sense of humor.
the date came and BAM she has an extremely noticeable speech impediment and really struggles with her Rs. to make matters worse, there are 2 Rs in my name. i feel so awful because i genuinely could not stop focusing on it the entire time and I honestly cannot tell you a single thing she told me about at the restaurant. She even offered to go back to her place but I panicked and said I had work in the morning (even though I had previously told her I was off tomorrow)
I don’t know what to do. we had such nice chemistry and i was so excited for this date. it’s just something that completely threw me off guard. i don’t want to ghost her but i dont wanna be honest with her because that’s just terrible. fuck. she seems so nice too. i just can’t help how thrown off i was an unattracted i was to it. part of me thinks if she had warn me beforehand, i would have had time to prepare. im not sure.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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anoj5m
|
{
"description": "blocking a guy on Instagram after deciding he wasn't interesting anymore",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for blocking a guy on Instagram after deciding he wasn't interesting anymore?
|
A guy hit me up on Instagram and apparently took a liking to me. Basically it was just us complimenting each other back and forth. Both of us also have an interest in art, so we chatted over that. In the midst of our conversation, I told him this:
Me: I'm gonna help my mum with some stuff. BRB.
Guy: Oh okay, come back soon though.
(Few minutes later)
Me: I'm back.
Guy: Wow, that was quick.
Me: Yeah, was just bringing things into the car.
Guy: You know, I was kinda sad that you had to go offline to help you mom.
Me: What, why?
Guy: Why you think?
Me: I'm not quite sure.
Guy: OMG nevermind 🙄
At that point, I was kind of weirded out. But continued chatting with him as he seemed interesting.
Further into our chat, he starts telling me how I'm cute and how he's never liked an Asian girl before (I'm Malaysian, he's American).
At one point, he wanted to call me baby girl. I felt that it was a little too fast for him to call me that yet, so I just told him that I rather him call me by my name rather than that. All of a sudden he starts getting mopey and dramatic, pretty much beating himself up for messing up a chance with me (which he pretty much did).
Then I don't know why, I decided to give him a "life lesson" on the differences of culture, like what's socially normal to him may not be socially normal to me (considering we're both from very different parts of the world). Then he promised himself that he wouldn't do that again as long as I still like him (I never said I did. We were just flirting back and forth).
I then decided that I he wasn't really interesting anymore because he seemed really weird and insecure to me and blocked him on Instagram. But kind of feel bad because he made a promise. So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
aq46a4
|
{
"description": "eating meat as a vegan",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for eating meat as a vegan?
|
Active lurker, inactive poster.So this happened a couple hours ago.
Yesterday, a friend of mine gave me a free meal to show her appreciation for something I did.
I didn't know that she ordered for me, she just gave me the food and said it was to show her thanks. It was meat, she didn't know that I'm a vegan.
I just became a vegan more or less 2 weeks ago, so not a lot of people know. I don't feel the need to tell everybody that I'm a vegan either.
I told her that I'm a vegan in a casual manner, and she apologized. I told her that I wanted to make this an exemption since it was special. So I ate it anyway.
Now earlier today, a close vegan friend of mine (let's call her Sarah), confronted me and told me "you ate meat...?" she didn't sound angry, rather disappointed. For starters, I asked her how she knew, and she told me that a mutual friend of ours that knows I'm vegan asked her if I was still vegan, she told me that our mutual friend saw me eating meat at the cafeteria yesterday. I explained to her that I didn't order it specifically, but it was given to me as a treat. She told me that I should have just gave it to somebody else. But for me, doing that seem really, really rude, and I found the gesture special.
Sarah's the one that influenced me to become vegan, we both really love animals. She's not the type that would scream at your face and yell "Murderer!!!". She generally doesn't care about meat eaters eating meat. Recently, I feel like eating meat again. I feel like veganism isn't for me, I can't take just eating vegetables (not a fan). The reason that I became vegan is because eating a living being as conscious as cows and pigs seem appalling. But now, I just feel like it's natural. Additionally, I can't deny that meat tastes good af to me. We both became a vegan practically at the same time. We've both never ate meat ever since we became vegan, prior to yesterday for me.
We didn't talk about it again, but she's still visibly upset the last time we talked. I'm wondering if I should apologize. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
yoTOqbTFkqdTZ5GOhFYcDZ3XHK8nEXEs
|
b947f4
|
{
"description": "telling my GF I'm pro choice",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I told my GF I'm pro choice?
|
So we kinda got into an argument the other day about the whole pro life and pro choice. She told me that I'm the asshole because I'm trying to dictate who gets to live and who gets to die. Saying that I'm a horrible person because I want people to kill babies. She even knows about my life and where I come from as a foster child that was never adopted from birth to the day I became eighteen.
I've been homeless and lived in the streets for months before because the foster system was so broken. I would be shipped from houses to houses only to get hit and abused by foster parents. In hindsight I could've easily told on them, but when they're threatening your life you don't really think about it. Anywho, in my point of view I tried explaining that going through life, especially at the teenage years (I'm 28 now) , I was not able to find any stability and heck, multiple times I thought about alternative solutions.
I explained that if a parent was unfit to raise a child I would much rather not let that child grow up in a toxic environment. My view was molded by my real life experience and I wouldn't wish a child a life like my own, growing up knowing that they're unwanted by anyone. I told her that if a child isn't adopted, they're thrown into the foster system. Call me insensitive or whatever you want but I just want every child growing up in a loving environment.
I told her, "I respect your decision and agree with you that I do not have the rights to decided on who gets to live and who gets to die. You are right that nobody has that right to take away life from anyone, however, I also have a strong view in upraising our future generations of leaders and want them to grow up in an environment to thrive and become successful in. I'll draw it here and say that I'll agree to disagree." I didn't want to fight anymore with her on this topic, but then she starts flailing other topics at me saying, "You're just defending the girls that goes out and sleeps with multiple men. You're enabling their lifestyle and it makes me sick. You're the worst kind of people out there. You're making the excuse of raising children to cover up for those types of girls."
However much I tried to defend myself from what she was trying to pin against me she would talk over me and not let me explain my point. At this point my temper wasn't at it's greatest either and so I calmly but shakily said, "That's fine if you think I'm that kind of person." I left the apartment and have been ghosting her for about a week now. I didn't think this fight would last this long. I'm crashing at a friends place in the meantime.
So, AITA for trying to explain to my GF why I'm pro choice? Am I just conceited or just oblivious to my some kind of thing that I'm missing? I'm not trying to paint myself as some angel and her as some demon, I have my hard views on things as well, but I just want to know if I'm approaching this at a wrong way. Am I not respecting her views or something?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
VpsCSoi1ccS8knGF0nQN7PkhEsSmZYa4
|
b4rll7
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed at my girlfriend for eating the toppings off my pizza",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed at my girlfriend for eating the toppings off my pizza?
|
We've been dating for a few years and my gf has major dietary rules (vegan, organic, no gluten, low carb, "high vibrations"). On the occasions there's leftover pizza from me or our families, she'll proceed to eat the veggie toppings off, or break her diet and eat the crust and leave the slice, which i think "ruins" the pizza and the point of paying for it. I just yelled about it so I'm probably just a dick, but I'm tired of eating half eaten pizza... especially when it's such a small treat for her (a tiny bit of oily veggies). Yes, it usually leftover, but I always finish the whole pizza leftover.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
eiVwJQyoIa1exZTyXoHHBJcFyBlbFMq0
|
am0t2o
|
{
"description": "wanting the school bus to come on time instead of early",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting the school bus to come on time instead of early?
|
I have small children and my husband and I both work. His hours prevent him from getting the kids on the bus in the morning or being home when they return from school.
I put the kids on the bus every morning and have a family member come to get them off of the bus 2 days a week. The other 3 days they went to an after school program but they hated it, especially my oldest.
This year there’s a new after school program run by a different organization and we really can’t afford it. Plus, my kids begged not to have to go again so I was able to change my work schedule which is a BFD since I work at a small business. Now I take them to a before school program 3 days per week, start work early those days and leave early to be home when the bus arrives. Bus is due at 3:48 pm. I have about 50 minutes to get home and it takes about 35 so everything is fine for a few months.
Kids tell me their bus was the first to load last year but this year it’s the last to load and I think nothing of it. Gradually the bus starts coming earlier and earlier until it’s dropping them off at 3:30 now. I find out their bus is loading earlier until it’s loading first despite being scheduled to load last. For the last few weeks, I’ve been rushing home and having close calls daily. My husband had some days off and was miraculously home one day when a bad accident literally happened right in front of me so I was delayed. I still got home by 3:44 but my kids had been home for about 15 minutes by then.
I’ve tried discussing this politely with the bus driver who seemed nice until now but he just says it depends on traffic. That’s not true because I picked the kids up a few weeks ago and saw their bus first in line. The driver intentionally gets there early to be first in line because that was last year’s schedule for this route and apparently he doesn’t like change.
Other parents tell me the buses aren’t allowed to come early but when I talked to the school, they just keep saying they “will look into it” yet have no answers. My whole office changed things to accommodate my new schedule and I can’t leave earlier. My kids are small enough that they’re not allowed off of the bus if no adult is waiting.
AITA if I complain to the school and demand their bus load last, as scheduled? I know everyone wants to get home/done earlier but my kid’s bus is the ONLY one showing up more than 5 minutes early and coming early on a regular basis. I’ve asked friends, family, mom groups on social media, etc.
|
HISTORICAL
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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