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8KQakFJwlsunviFIHGzCF3OXGSG3ayqz
|
az6pi9
|
{
"description": "believeing that my friend was wrong to post a picture with another girl on his 2 year anniversary with his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for believeing that my friend was wrong to post a picture with another girl on his 2 year anniversary with his girlfriend?
|
So the problem is exactly as it's above. My friend thought it was a good idea to post a picture of him and his friend H (who is incidentally my girlfriend, but I know he has no ill intentions) with a cheesy romantic caption (a joke, according to him), on the day of his 2 year anniversary with his girlfriend, M. According to him, M had agreed to the picture being posted, but I'm assuming he said nothing about the caption he would use, or the picture just being H and him awkwardly staring at each other, a picture that would definitely look wrong to a fourth person not in our friends group. Now he wonders why M won't talk properly to him, and believes she's being childish. So does my girlfriend H.
But I side with M. It was 1 out of 365 days of the year, and supposed to be their special day.
AITA in doing this, or is he wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
JUfePqzD6aqyjndr3HMRxWgCAr1Q59CR
|
aq6xzq
|
{
"description": "saying my friend's OC looks like a character from a show",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for saying my friend’s OC looks like a character from a show?
|
Last night on Discord, my friend (who we will call C) posted his OCs on my server. My friend (We’ll call him B) said that C shouldn’t have OCs since he’s not an artist and it doesn’t make sense (C used an app to make the characters). That’s neither here nor there, though.
I said that he reminds me of Saiko (from the anime ‘The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.’ (Underrated anime, I highly recommend it. It’s on Netflix)). I said that it lowkey looks like a vampire Saiko in a way.
Let me just say that the characters do look different. I just said that C’s character reminded me of Saiko and it kinda looks like a vampire Saiko.
B also eventually noticed that and was on my side.
C got really defensive. He kept saying that they look nothing alike and that we were being mean for comparing the two characters. We didn’t actually say anything offensive that I know of.
[Here](https://imgur.com/a/fzkcO7e) are some of the messages that were sent. I’m big slaz. it’s not my actual username so i didn’t feel the need to censor it. Also these sent in order, nor are they all of the messages.
C does actually get like this a lot, even irl at school. He can sometimes get offended at the smallest things, even if it’s not about him. It’s not the first time this has happened.
Because I’m ill, I didn’t actually go to school today so I don’t know what he said at school or if he mentioned it at all.
So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
cHWU0ThGXCLNrvd5kYOWYjw28Qw4q2Ds
|
9zp12j
|
{
"description": "talking to my friends boyfriend even though he's said to me it makes her jealous",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for talking to my friends boyfriend even though he’s said to me it makes her jealous?
|
Quick backstory: I met a these two on an online game (overwatch) we joked around in english till they said something that made me realize we all live in the same country. Weird coincidence that they just lived ca. 1,5 hours away from me. Few months after I met them, when we still weren’t really close but still talking, I started dating someone else. Since we were both in relationships we talked alot and met up and became really good friends.
A month ago me and my ex broke up, I was very upset and they were there for me and I meant a lot. But he told me she gets jealous if me and him speak alone. I feel really bad, but he (and her) are some of my bestfriends and I don’t know if I should distance myself from him? I don’t want to break them up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
nJrefe34yu92tQ8THkhO7hPKZ135ogYd
|
aygmeb
|
{
"description": "being honest and telling my girlfriend that she gained a couple pounds",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For being honest and telling my girlfriend that she gained a couple pounds?
|
For context: My girlfriend is beautiful not overweight or fat in the slightest, but recently her work schedule has changed which has had a negative effect on her diet/gym schedule. We were having a couple drinks last night when she asked me if she looked any different, I asked her if she wanted an honest answer and she replied yes. I proceeded to tell her she had gained a couple pounds but that it was no big deal and she still looks great.
This was quickly followed by a very hurt response, and her asking me why I would say that to her. I know this is probably an age old case of 'Why the fuck would you say that?', but I am curious to know, AITA? Sorry for formatting, am on phone.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
k0jNkPj5sAQyXSK9At9Xo3ES7pIXdEsN
|
aqrvnb
|
{
"description": "inviting my aunt (who is divorced from my uncle) to my baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for inviting my aunt (who is divorced from my uncle) to my baby shower?
|
My aunt and uncle broke up over a year ago now. She cheated and as a result they split up. He is now engaged to a new women, but my mom thinks that it is still inappropriate to invite my aunt to the baby shower. My aunt and I have always had a close relationship, even more so than my uncle and I. The baby shower will be big (over 100 people), AITA for wanting to invite her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
oOFowUYQAOJKqpQT1ngOGb6xAXkrMgvm
|
ak78tf
|
{
"description": "being visibly frustrated when playing something with my sister when I'd rather do something else",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being visibly frustrated when playing something with my sister when I'd rather do something else?
|
She wants me to play some high school magic roleplay game on Roblox and I feel obligated to spend time with her but I literally can't make it 10 minutes without being overwhelmed with boredom. It's like the only thing she wants to do, I've tried to suggest other stuff.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XPwz5qYSCtKsL1YGT7nQcJwp0LvQZnYQ
|
b53qho
|
{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to show interest in my interests",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for asking my girlfriend to show interest in my interests?
|
I am an allround easy going person and like showing interest in the hobbies my girlfriend is doing or what she is studying. I also tried out some her hobbies with her. But she shows no interest in the things I tell about the courses Im following or the hobby she doesn't really care about. Am I the asshole for asking her to show interest in the things I care about but she doesn't?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
A3R0b9CWBq4dezq8IYpYtqmFanDPMnuO
|
a5dir2
|
{
"description": "ending a friendship I believed was bad for me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ending a friendship I believed was bad for me?
|
I (22F) met a girl, we’ll call her Kate two years ago at my old workplace. Kate is 27, and due to spending a lot of time in hospital as a child, did not have many friends throughout school. I enjoyed that she was a bit of a weirdo like me. I became friendly with her, until she started saying some pretty awful shit to me, she said she believes my brother (who is gay) shouldn’t be allowed to marry and he’s making a bad life choice being gay. She has said to me that I’m a slut, and a bad person for doing drugs and has called me a criminal and an alcoholic (I only smoke weed and occasionally take stimulants on special occasions, but nothing crazy). She’s also racist (instantly gets attitude to anyone who isn’t white), rude to wait staff, and will happily start arguments with strangers in public. Over the past two years I’ve tried explaining that the way she speaks to me and a lot of people isn’t okay, but I also understand that she may have missed out on certain social lessons from being in hospital during her formative years and I liked her, I wanted to be her friend. I started pulling away from the friendship when she started texting me up to 15-20 times per day, despite me asking her to understand that during work and class I can’t text her back, and that I’d rather meet up with her over the weekend instead of trying to keep up with all the texts as I don’t like being on my phone when I’m finally home from work during the week. She never acknowledged my feelings and continued to message me constantly, as well as my partner if I didn’t respond to her within an hour. I became really frustrated and told her that I need a few weeks where I won’t be able to speak to her because I’d be on teaching placement. She continued messaging my partner asking why I wasn’t replying. I had had enough, between her insulting every part of my life, insulting my family, and never understanding that I need space, I told her that I believed she should get involved in a church youth program to meet people with similar interests (as we have nothing in common) who would love to do the things she enjoys with her, because I didn’t want her feeling unwanted, I just needed some time to get through my uni semester and deal with my declining mental health. She wouldn’t let up, and I snapped. I told her I don’t want to be her friend anymore and I blocked her on everything. I feel awful, but I also feel angry that it got to this point. I’m angry at her for thinking she could be a bitch to me and expect me to take it, and I’m angry at myself for not sticking by her. It’s too far gone in my eyes though, I held onto resentment over things she would say so that I didn’t hurt her feelings, but she never once thought about my feelings.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
s5RjtAc9aUOPnedWLmhZai0tFswQYr0b
|
aw7sz0
|
{
"description": "keeping a blacklist of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA Keeping a blacklist of my friends
|
AITA?
Basically my folks raised me to treat people right. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. And to share. Was born in 85 and my family owned and lived in a trailer park. My mother also babysat full time. I was basically in a herd of kids all of my childhood and learned to get along with everyone.
I'm 33 now and a small town redneck. We all know each other. My favorite hobby is just trading shit around over beers with friends. Guns, car parts, antiques, machinery, etc... It's very common to just offer someone $400 for a gun and give them $20 a week until it's paid for. Things like that.
But I've never been paid. Not 1 time in my life do i remember getting paid what i was owed. In the last 6 months alone a childhood best friend left a messy rental owing me well over $1,500. I sold a buddy a new in the box $90 grease gun i ended up not being able to use. And sold a log splitter that i REALLY wanted to keep.
I did it to myself. I know this. And I don't ever ask anyone to pay me. I just figure a descent human being would at least offer 5 bucks in a month where they bought a new 4 wheeler and built a $6,000 big block.
I'm well on my way to making A LOT of money. As far as beggers go I've descided to just tell most of them that my money is tied up in investments. Which will mostly be true.
But for the last few days i have been highly considering just living life as i have and giving people a chance. I'll list everyone and everything i am owed and from now on keep a list. I'll write the date, who it was, and a detailed description of the deal.
The front cover will be a list of people to never loan or sell anything to again and the page number for reference. And the back cover (should it ever happen) will be the people that paid on time. These people will get handholding out of wageslavery and likely become future business partners i can trust.
Is this a dick move?
Nobody but my wife and me will ever see it or even know it exists.
I don't want to be an asshole, but I'm tired of being taken advantage of.
Not counting investments i still make near double the salary my peers do and live the same lifestyle and budget or less. So it's not like I can't buy groceries if i let someone fuck me over. I've been broke before and i understange how much it sucks. But ffs in 5 years you cant pay $0.01? The fuck?
Edit: Had to repost. Got deleted for wrong title. Saw i had 2 responses but couldn't read them. Sorry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pRFAoh3jYcJ93ytvi46Sjh8D6plLulZm
|
9v40y3
|
{
"description": "being excited to study abroad next year while in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being excited to study abroad next year while in a relationship?
|
My (18M) girlfriend (18F) of almost three years, and I got into a heated argument today. I’ve been planning on studying abroad for a semester next year for some time. Today when I brought it up, she got upset with me. She said I’m insensitive for wanting to leave her for approximately 5 months. She said that if I valued our relationship I’d be debating this decision more than I am. I feel like studying abroad is an important opportunity to take advantage of in my current circumstances and was surprised she was against it. Am I the asshole for being excited for and wanting to studying abroad even though I’m in fairly long term relationship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
jL1qR9ZeAtECkLcn6Ru1v4pUafmCEwFS
|
aob6gy
|
{
"description": "being mad at my mom",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at my mom?
|
So, basically my mom likes popping my pimples and stuff like that (I hate it) well, I've been trying to get her into anime and asked if she wanted to watch an episode with me, which she reluctantly agreed. She said she'd do it IF I let her pop some pimples (which, as she's lied about this before, she'd probably get WAY more than she said she would) so I said nevermind. She then ordered me to get in there and let her and afterwards I was pissed and stayed in my room. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
OPefxkcMYjh0AYEXqBE8Lj1dL8grQoLm
|
afzcwx
| null |
AITA for how I responded to a lowballer?
|
I'll make this quick. I have a honda for sale with over 300k miles on it. It's not fancy but it runs. I put it up for $900 on a Facebook group. Someone commented and the exchange went like this:
Him: $50
Me: Don't you have something better to do with your time
Him: Is that a yes?
Me: It's quite clearly a "fuck off"
Him: No need to get nasty. It's not made of gold.
Me: If it was made of gold would I be selling it for $900? My asking price is perfectly fair
Him: Man,you're just an angry person.
Me: Bro,the only reason you commented on this is to insinuate that my car is only worth $50. Why are you trying to act like you made a serious offer?
After that he deleted all his comments. Was I really being a dick? I guess I didn't need to reply at all but it seems very rude to make such a ridiculously low offer
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
IwBlIrWCj0UlVgs0Momsx2flrhJ9A41p
|
b3por7
|
{
"description": "going crazy on my boyfriend when he ditched me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for going crazy on my boyfriend when he ditched me?
|
It happened today and I am still fuming.
Basically, we were supposed to meet yesterday for dinner but my bf had some work to clear so we decided to meet the next day (today). However, halfway through yesterday, when he went to meet his friend even though he had work to do because he wanted to get some news about his friend and his date. They went out till 12 midnight and he came home and told me through text that he will wake up early at 9am to do his work and come over at 12pm to find me. I told him he will have a hard time waking up early as he is a heavy heavy sleeper but ok, I trust him.
Fast forward to today, he woke up late, just as I predicted and told me that he has no mood to meet me and wasn’t in the right state of mind to drive to my place. My bf suffers from depression and so, ok i try to understand but I am honestly quite pissed at this moment because:
1. we planned this already?
2. he has the mood to meet his friend yesterday but doesn’t have any to meet me the next day?
3. i hate it when plans change. like abhor it and i understand this is something that i have to work on.
So we had a bit of a fight and then he said he needed some time alone. so he went off to drive somewhere and i found out he went to find his friend instead. I was seriously pissed at this point but i held it in. I asked him if he is able to meet for dinner instead. But he said no as he has dinner with his family. Ok, i won’t touch any family plans.
Turns out, he wasn’t going for dinner with his family but instead with that friend of his. At this point, I was seriously pissed off and went full-on crazy. like really crazy, calling him names etc. As his friend was a girl, I even told him to go and date her instead (she is attached) since he would rather find her instead of me.
I was raging so badly, I wasn’t functioning straight. I’m ashamed to say that I was trembling with anger and I even punched the wall.
My reasoning for getting so angry was because he would rather find someone else to meet and ask for advice rather than finding ME to talking about it. And the fact that he has mood to find his friend yesterday when he was supposed to be doing work but doesn’t have the mood to meet me.
He just told me he was very “off” that day, most probably due to him not taking his medications for a period of time.
AITA for not considering my bf’s feeling and his mood given his depression and that I over-reacted?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
GXAxg0syvyZYZ7d2k7l5JfEMKMfkBZzs
|
akcddh
|
{
"description": "being uncomfortable with a furry in my dnd campaign",
"pronormative_score": 42,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for being uncomfortable with a furry in my dnd campaign?
|
Yes, you read that right.
I've been running a dnd campaign since the beginning of last semester with some friends of mine at University. Unfortunately, some of those friends couldn't be here with us this semester, so we were looking for people to replace them so we could have a reasonable number of people for the campaign.
So me and my two remaining players are in recruitment mode. We'll call one of these players A.
Myself, A, and the other friend all manage to find one person each to join the campaign; that's a little more than I was hoping for (I just wanted enough regular players that it did not feel like I had to cancel if one person didn't show), but it'll work.
So, it turns out the person that A invited is a furry, and, I'm not gonna lie, it's makes me really uncomfortable. They wear cat ears and stuff all the time (from what I can tell), have some sort of sona thing on their lanyard, and unironically type and say things like "owo".
I recognize that this is me just being a bit prejudiced because they're not hurting anyone, it just makes me feel weird, and I have no doubt that I would be an asshole if I were to ask them not to be in the campaign just because of a lifestyle choice I'm not used to, but I feel like A should have at least asked us if we would be comfortable with someone like this in the game, you know?
Not only that but A seems to be a inconsiderate in general these days. He was late to both sessions so far, he invited his girlfriend (who I have met before, she's not a player) to spectate the game (which was in my apartment) without even asking. He has even asked twice now about extra people being added to the campaign after I initially said now (5 players is enough, thank you).
I don't know I feel like this could just be me overreacting and A just being a bit rude, or maybe neither of us are assholes and I'm just worried too much. Either way I have no idea what to think, so I thought I'd leave it to you guys to decide.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 42,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
RIGHT
|
KnJmmxxwxgZpzAIvpgttAS9sfE9DSiKV
|
a3ut2m
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriends dog living with us",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriends dog living with us?
|
Hello - throwaway because my boyfriend is an active redditor. Also, apologies in advance because this will be long.
Some background relevant to the story:
My boyfriend and I are both 20, still living with our parents.
My boyfriend was gifted a puppy by his mother almost a year and a half ago. He loves this dog **to death** . His dog is amazing! He’s a half German Shepherd, half husky. A very sweet but crazy dog.
The problem is, is that his mom set up training sessions once a week for this puppy, and my boyfriend brought the puppy to maybe 2 of these sessions, and then stopped going. He’s potty trained but that’s pretty much it.
He doesn’t know basic commands like “sit” or “stay”. He jumps and is very nippy. He’s almost 2 years old. He almost never calms down, is always running, jumping, and just has so much energy. Every time you come in the door he jumps and nips and (unintentionally) scratches. Now I know all dogs get excited when you come home, but this dog just **doesn’t calm down**. He jumps on you when you’re walking anywhere, when you’re sitting to eat, when you’re on the couch, when you’re going up/down the stairs, when you get in bed, etc. He doesn’t let you do anything without biting or jumping on you, and If you try to ignore him, he has an incredibly high pitched bark/yelp to get your attention. This dog is a very happy, loving boy. But after a while of being jumped on and scratched it gets annoying.
Currently, the dog is living with my boyfriends mom. A big house, lots of space, a spacious yard, etc. It’s good because his breed is very energetic and requires a lot of exercise. She lives about an hour away so my boyfriend doesn’t get to see his dog as much as he would like to. He lives with his dad and his dad doesn’t want a dog living with them.
I’d also like to mention that when there is company at my boyfriends moms, no matter if it’s adults or kids, the dog is either put outside or put in his crate because it is well known that he is just too crazy to be around people. No one wants a crazy dog jumping all over them and scratching them.
Anyway, this dog, who I love very very very much, is just crazy. His breed is very energetic in general, he wasn’t trained properly, and I like to think he’s still in his “puppy phase”.
So:
My boyfriend and I want to get an apartment. Apartments are known to be pretty small, and we also have a cat. The cat and the dog have met before, and it’s safe to say they didn’t get along. His dog was just so rambunctious and the cat would rather just watch from a distance.
The apartment we have looked at is, well small. Big enough for us and a cat, but not big enough for a large dog who needs a lot of exercise and a lot of space.
My boyfriend **refuses** to get an apartment with me unless the dog can come. I want the dog to come too, but I just feel like he won’t have enough space to let out his energy, especially if there isn’t time to walk him. (My boyfriend swears he will walk him everyday, but how can I know that when he wouldn’t bring him to the training sessions?)
I feel like his dog has a pretty good quality of life living with my boyfriends mom right now, and I think it will go down moving into a cramped apartment. I’m also worried about the change for my cat.
I told my boyfriend I don’t want his dog living with us. He refuses to get an apartment now. Without the dog, we can’t live together. End of story, period. No compromising.
If his dog had been trained properly and was more calm, I would definitely want him to live with us. My boyfriend “likes him just the way he is”.
So, Reddit, AITA for not wanting my boyfriends crazy dog to live with us?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
LXONL3fAbpnJ1YN1e3lfxk89xuG7oiPh
|
awr3qn
|
{
"description": "being upset that I'm being excluded from parties as a \"mature\" student\"",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for being upset that I'm being excluded from parties as a "mature" student".
|
Obvious throwaway because my SO knows my reddit account.
I've been through some tough times and used to fuck around a lot. I drive a truck, but I wanted something more. It was tough, but at 31 I decided to finally go back to school. I'm what they call a "mature student". Everyone is a lot younger, but it wasn't a big deal. I could always find people to talk to in class. I have a few good friends and a girlfriend outside of school, who graduated a long time ago. My girlfriend and I are currently in a LDR for her work. I miss her a lot.
​
I've always been a very social person so I started to get really lonely. It was affecting me and I wasn't really into any of the clubs. I thought it would be a good idea to go to some parties and meet some people. Whenever I would go, I didn't know any of the music and the energy just seemed off. People were polite, never rude, but didn't I could tell they wanted to leave.
​
I was feeling lonely again last night and thought I'd get up and take myself to one of the frats. I would try one more time. When I got to the door, there was a guy who let people in. He just brought me to the side and said "hey man, you seem really cool and all. But it's kinda weird when you come to the parties. No one has anything against you, but you get it". He gave me a beer and a pat on the back. I told him not to worry about it, but I was absolutely crushed. He could tell I was hurt and told me not to worry, because "there's some students around your age you can party with". I just smiled and went home.
​
When I got home, I called my SO to tell her what happened. She was telling me not to worry but said that I have to understand why they might not want to party with me. It has nothing to do with me as a person, but it's weird if I want to party with them. She told me I shouldn't try again and to just go to bars with a buddy.
​
I was really hurt that she said something like that. It's not cool to exclude anyone, especially for something as dumb as being a little older. We're all students. She knew how big of a decision it was for me to go back. I had to really swallow my pride.
​
We got into an argument and by the end of it she told me to act my age. But I am acting my age. It's not unreasonable to want to be included by my peers.
​
​
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HISTORICAL
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b8f13k
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{
"description": "refusing to catch a hostile horse in his closed stable",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to catch a hostile horse in his closed stable?
|
i go to college to work with 40+ horses once a week and we have a gelding naked bramble who’s pretty high-spirited. (an umbrella term. he kicks and nips often.)
i was supposed to catch him but he turned his back on me and pinned his ears which is a clear warning that he could kick, so i left the stable. my classmates then stated giving me shit for it.
they said i’m selfish because i didn’t want to put myself in danger so save someone else the trouble, but they were just as hesitant as i was. they wouldn’t do it either.
am i an idiot of does that not seem fair? why should i be the one to have to catch him?
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HISTORICAL
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| null |
AITA
|
I’m an amputee and some days I need my wheelchair. I’ve reached out to management over the issue of cars reaching over the sidewalk but no change yet. Am I the asshole here? Am I asking too much?
[Example](https://imgur.com/gallery/RtPISvg)
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "taking a $50 tip from a disabled customer",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking a $50 tip from a disabled customer?
|
So I work for a popular chain of grocery stores as an Online Shopper, (people order their shit on the website, and we walk through the store picking it all out, and then take it out to the customers car when they arrive to pick it up.) Now, technically according to store policy, we aren’t supposed to accept tips from customers, but our manager is extremely lax on that rule, seeing as how the majority of my coworkers are high school/ college age.
That being said, tonight I took out an order, and found that the customer had an obvious intellectual disability. Of course, I treated them with as much respect as I would any customer, but when the time came to give him his receipt, he asks if tipping was the norm. I replied that it wasn’t, but before I even finished my sentence, he thrust out a $50 bill from his window and thanked me. I tried refusing it twice, citing store policy and even offering him two $20 bills for change, but he was insistent on giving me the $50.
It makes me wonder if he didn’t realize that his order was processed through his credit card online, and that he gave me the money thinking he was paying for his order. I’m feeling kind of shitty, like I definitely could have done more to refuse the money, but at the same time, i’m trying to save up for college next year and $50 is a lot of money.
AITA?
|
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{
"description": "ruining someone's first High School choice",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for ruining someone’s first High School choice
|
There’s this person at my school who I used to be good friends with. He was really nice and funny and then summer vacation happens and I don’t get to see him. Next year rolls around and we don’t talk as much but still friends. It was all good till a few weeks ago. He just started being a jerk to me. I don’t know why I didn’t do anything to him. So English class starts and we are doing an activity to review a book, the usual but the thing is we use laptops for notes, and everything. We work with in rows and I sit next to him. So he is saying the usual “Shut Up”, “No one wants care.”, “No one wants to hear from you.”, etc. But then out of no where he tries to shut my laptop off so I get mad and push his hand off it. Then the person in front of me restarts my laptop. I get mad so I tell the teacher that people are trying to shut off my laptop and I make it obvious it is person in front of me and somewhat the person next to me. But the teacher pushes all the blame on the person next to me but I don’t really care because the person in front of me is already in trouble with the teacher. But I could here the person next to me swearing at me under his breath. So he moved seats. But after class he needed to get his stuff which was next to me. I just start hearing “You’re a d***”, “You’re a a******” and I sit next to him in the next class. This continues on to the next class. I did not know what to do at that point so I wanted to go to the bathroom and think so I ask the teacher. The teacher said after class but I didn’t care because I just wanted to think so I go back to my seat to here him begging to not tell anyone. (He thought I was going to the office.) He then says if I do he won’t be able to go to the school he got accepted into. (With this School even when you are accepted they can kick you off of the list if your grades or behavior changes.) He already had enough stuff in the list that a few more small things could get him off. Then I realized if I tell on him there is actually a chance I may ruin his chance of getting a job he wants, and he would also be in big trouble with his parents.
So WIBTA if I tell?
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{
"description": "not wanting to do the fantasy portion (Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy) of holidays/events with my kids",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for not wanting to do the fantasy portion (Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy) of holidays/events with my kids?
|
My wife and I just had a son a month ago and with Easter coming up she was talking about taking him to see the Easter Bunny and get pictures. It got me thinking that I don’t really care about the Easter Bunny or other holiday stuff we tell kids. I still want to celebrate all the holidays. I want my kids to come downstairs to a full Easter basket or presents under the tree, but I don’t feel the need to tell them that some magical being brought them. I am fine if they lose a tooth, just being excited and giving them 5 bucks, not doing the whole tooth fairy thing. I feel like I’m being a party pooper, but I think they will still love Christmas without Santa Clause. My wife thinks I’m being a grump. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "getting back together with my boyfriend, but really only because I found out my dad has pancreatic cancer is dying and I need some semblance of stability",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for getting back together with my boyfriend, but really only because I found out my dad has pancreatic cancer is dying and I need some semblance of stability?
|
Hello AITA, I am using a throwaway because I feel like this isn't going to go very well from me but my life is falling apart and I feel like no one will be honest with me because they feel like I'm on the edge. I am, but please give it to me strait. As such, I will be very honest about what I've done.
5 weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I actually love him very much but we have been together for almost 4 years now (we are 21 now) and he's the only boyfriend I ever had, only guy I've ever had sex with. He was ready to get engaged but I wanted to experience more of everything before I get married to anyone. He was devastated, it actually hurt me much more than I thought it would but I stuck to my guns and didn't get back together with him.
Last week my dad finally went into the emergency room after not feeling well for many weeks. After all the standards tests it turns out he has very late stage pancreatic cancer and has a very short time to live. a year at the absolute most.
I didn't know what to do so I called my ex, he offered to have me come over and we basically ended up hugging, then cuddling and then having sex. He asked me when it was over with if that meant we were getting back together. I wasn't sure what to say so I basically said yes.
He's ecstatic that we are back together, I am content but I feel like it's just to find some comfort. News from my dad gets worse and worse by the day and I find it just easier to be with my boyfriend than deal with reality. I don't know what the future is going to bring so I told my boyfriend (ex, not even sure now) that no matter what I need to slow down in my life and can't talk about things like engagement or long term commitments. He said he's fine with that but I'm not sure if I fully believe him--which makes me feel even more like I'm taking advantage of him.
Am I the asshole for what I'm doing?
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WRONG
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b7vkoz
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{
"description": "walking out on my job",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for walking out on my job?
|
This is probably a dumb question but I thought I'd get some feedback for it anyway.
I recently quit my God awful job as a dishwasher at a chain restaurant. I had only been there for a month, and I was already despising every day I had to be there. In the time I was there, two people had started and immediately quit, and another guy was fired because he just stopped showing up completely. I soon knew why. Management was a mess, and the dishwashers were treated like dirt. I referred a good friend of mine, and even he hated it when he was only a few weeks in. They were profiling him a lot, saying that since hes a big, tall dude, he can do everything without issue. Not true. We were both pretty out of shape and being on our feet for so long (without a break mind you) was destroying our bodies.
I called in on a Friday telling them that I mentally and physically couldn't do the job anymore. There was no way I'd survive for another 2 weeks, and I sure as hell wouldnt ever work for them again. But they managed to convince the both of us to come in that day, then stuck us in the dish room alone on a packed Friday evening. Now, we knew how to do our job, but we weren't experts, and you need at least 4 people on the weekends so that things dont get backed up...they knew we were the only ones back there and didnt even give us a heads up. We decided that enough was enough. We had been treated like such shit that day by both the cooks and servers. They constantly told us to do our best but then kept saying we still weren't good enough. I couldn't bare to work somewhere that continued to zap the life out of me, and make my depression worse than it already was. So...we walked out.
I'm sure since only one other person was going to work in there that night, so some of the managers would have to join them in order to try and make sure they had enough dishes...I'm still stuck thinking about it now. And I've already been having so much trouble finding another job, that sometimes I wonder if I just should have bottled my issues up and just kept working...
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "my classmate getting suspended",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for my classmate getting suspended?
|
This happened in my college. I was filling out a form and some of the details required for the form was with the college. It's on a sheet. On of my classmates took a picture of this sheet and uploaded it on the group chat. I was filling out the form and I was using this picture she sent because the physical sheet was unavailable at the time. One of the professors saw this and asked me where I got the picture. I told the professor it was on the group. Turns out this sheet is actually pretty classified and the board of education had made it clear that it is to be used in front of professors and NO pictures were to be taken. I DID NOT KNOW THIS but my classmate did and she still took a picture in secret. When the professor found this out, she suspended my classmate.
For the record, if I had known that my classmate took this picture without permission, I would'nt have used it in front of the professor cause I didnt mean to snitch.
I feel bad for being the reason this got out. Another classmate said it was my fault and that I shouldn't have used it in front of the professor.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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al1po5
|
{
"description": "hiding the pans from my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hiding the pans from my roommate?
|
I've lived with my roommate (who is also family) for 2 years. I've asked him over and over again, stop using my pans if you are going to leave them in the sink for days. I have specific sized pans for the things I want to cook, and he continuously leaves them in the sink for me to wash when I need to use them. He won't even soak them, so I've always got to scrub a ton of shit off of them. (He's also not once cleaned the apartment, but that's a different story. We have multiple issues)
I asked him one more time last week, please, wash my pans when you are done using them. Every time I go to use them they are filthy. He just says "hmmm" and changes the subject. After that conversation he uses them again immediately and leaves them in the sink, and then he goes on a week long trip out of town.
The day before he got back I washed all of them and put them in my room so he can not use them anymore.
He came home yesterday and didn't notice, but he called me at work this morning looking for them and got really pissed when I told him I put them away. He told me if I leave them out he's definitely going to keep using them, and I can't keep them from him. Which I thought was weird to say.
The thing is, HE HAS HIS VERY OWN SET. It's a brand new set, barely touched because HE ONLY WANTS TO USE MINE. And mine are like 20 years old, I really don't understand what his issue is. I am just sick of him using my stuff and leaving it filthy in the sink for a week. I haven't left him without any cookware; he just doesn't want to use his own. He has two really nice skillets and three different-sized pots. I do not use his cookware at all, because I fry a lot of steak and his skillets are not big enough. All he cooks is scrambled eggs, and sausages, and for some reason insists on using my pans for that. I'm almost 26 years old, him as well, and I can't believe I'm still dealing with this stupid shit. I'm moving out soon, but until then,
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a4tq2n
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{
"description": "stopping the sale of a house to my brothers childhood friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA I stopped the sale of a house to my brothers childhood friend
|
Before stopping the sale, I called my brother early in the morning to angrily ask him what was going on.
Here is why I did it. I had been trying to sell the house for several months for my mom (my dad had died several years earlier). My mom & dad had lived in this house & had good memories of it from visits and from my kid's birthday parties.
After going to the work of getting it listed, my brother got this brainstorm to offer to sell the house to a boyhood friend for $25,000 under the asking price. He and my mom got this rolling without telling me. Problem is, the friend and I had had a brief relationship that ended very (very, very) badly, and when I found out what my brother and my mother were planning, I felt betrayed.
And, as a practical matter, we had had the property on the market for two months, and I didn't find out about this plan of my mothers and my brothers until the day before we were about to get multiple over-asking-price offers.
Also, my mother wanted to delist the property, & not pay our realtor. But I would have had to be the person handling the negotiations, because my mother doesn't know how, which would have been extremely uncomfortable; I would have become the sellers agent in a transaction where an ex-lover was the buyer.
I stopped the deal. My brother hasn't talked to me for a year, because, he says, I chose anger at his old friend over my relationship with him (my brother). My mother says she is "hurt". Am I the asshole? Or are all my family members crazy people?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b66m9b
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{
"description": "thinking it's unfair that my grieving friend gets free passes for assignments while I didn't with a concussion",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for thinking it’s unfair that my grieving friend gets free passes for assignments while I didn’t with a concussion?
|
I had a concussion a few months back. it was a moderate one, and even though I had a hard time processing information and got headaches when in bright light or reading, I was expected to keep up in my classes. I got to turn in things a little late, but there were some things my AP english teacher said I *had* to turn in by a certain date or I wouldn’t get credit— but I couldn’t read the book for the assignment in time. I was also expected to write timed essays and take tests (my teachers let me do things on paper, which still took longer than normal but I could do them).
Now, my friend recently lost a brother through self-ending means about two weeks ago. He’s acting pretty normal and making jokes (he said “why did he have to inconvenience me by dying” jokingly) but of course some people cope differently and he could be keeping it inside. But he wants to use someone else’s work to finish an ongoing assignment from a few months before because “she always get As on it”. We have the same AP English teacher, and she let him skip a whole essay entirely “because everyone did bad anyways”. He’s allowed to do things days later as well. I was frustrated bc our AP english teacher let him skip the essay while she expected things to be on time and I couldn’t skip when my brain couldn’t process things normally.
I also went through a trauma where my dad was in the hospital for a few weeks a few years ago, and I never asked for handouts, but that’s just me personally. He’s the type to always ask for rides home if you have a car, and he took photos of my essay from our last essay and copied my thoughts (I let him look at it but I didn’t know he was photographing it).
AITA for being angry that he’s cheating/getting free passes? I feel like ITA. He’s going through a trauma and just because he’s acting normal doesn’t mean that he’s suffering. And of course a concussion isn’t the same as a loss of a loved one. I just don’t think it’s fair he’s kind of using the death as a means to get passes, and my teachers are acting like he’s unable to do any work whatsoever.
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WRONG
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ae1y4y
|
{
"description": "choosing my car over our apartment",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for Choosing my car over our apartment?
|
So quick and Dirty, I lost my Job Fell behind on my Car note and my car nearly got Repossessed. My SO and I were living together and also wouldn't be able to cover rent and have to leave within a month. I Was offered two choices by family pay for the car note until I could handle it and come live with them or Pay my rent for the month and stay put. I went with the Car AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b1flir
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{
"description": "making my Boyfriend quit smoking",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA For Making My Boyfriend Quit Smoking
|
First time poster. When my (26F) boyfriend (24M) and I first met (before we started dating) I knew he was a smoker. My biggest line in the sand with dating was always "I will never date a smoker". Well, wouldn't I be damned that I fell in love with that guy. When we started dating I made it really well known that this is a big deal for me and that I wouldn't be able to continue with it.
I am a singer (professional opera singer) and an asthmatic. I also find smoking to be just the grossest thing ever, it is just a complete turn off. To add insult to injury, not only is he smoking cigarettes, he also mixes cigarettes and pot together (smoking batch). And if anyone knows about that is smells even worse. He smokes a lot of pot. I don't even have huge issues with it, but he's outside multiple times a day smoking and is spending a lot of money on it.
He comes inside and even when he brushes his teeth I can still smell it coming from his lungs and I can't help myself, I start coughing.
I understand it's a habitual addiction mixed with a physical addiction. He tried going on stop smoking aids but it doesn't stop the pot smoking. My therapist (who I was seeing for another issue) says that making peoples with addictions feel shame only makes their addictions worse. Every time I try to bring it up nicely he just gets all upset and calls himself a failure and does nothing about it. People say that quitting smoking is a ridiculously hard thing to do and that I am asking him too much, but in reality I think my health and my needs matter too, and I'm not blowing away my money and health.
AITA for being a stickler and making him quit smoking?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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as267o
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{
"description": "not wanting my husband to talk about nude beaches with other women",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my husband to talk about nude beaches with other women
|
Throwaway (Can you believe there's already a "nudebeachthrowaway"?)
My husband (38) and I (37)have been married 12 years and we have 4 kids. There's this mom from my kids school that was texting my husband over the spring, they were chatting and having play dates with our kids. (I had been acquaintances with her for many years before, our kids are in the same school and mommy group) Then, one day while his phone was on the kitchen counter, I saw a few texts coming in with her asking him if he is talking about the nude beach in town. I got a real suspicious feeling and looked at his last few texts, they went like this.
​
Her: Invites him to the beach for a play date, Asks if there's a beach he likes.
Husband: Suggests beach that is famous for being a nude beach
Her: Isn't that a nude beach?
Husband: Well, technically the nude beach is around the corner, there's an area for families too
​
I didn't snoop any farther than this and I confronted my husband. While that's true about the family section, I don't think it's appropriate to invite someone there. This place is famous for being a nude beach in my area, and we aren't in a small town it's a Canadian capital city. If you ask anyone what's at \_\_\_\_ beach they will say nude beach. The nude area is maybe 100 meters from the public area. He doesn't seem to understand how this was inappropriate. I say bringing up a nude beach, and inviting a person to a nude beach is totally inappropriate, it can send the wrong signals about a relationship , it's also rather forward bringing up sex like this. He says he was just answering her question honestly (What beach he likes) and there's a family section that we have been to with our kids before and it was lovely. I have heard him talk about this beach with other people before (With people that are close, not some mom that seems to have a sudden attraction to him) and they are always surprised to learn there is a non nude section. I believe he thinks I am being over cautious. He cheated on me 10 years ago and again 2 years ago I was in an emotionally abusive situation that he enabled and gaslighted me about. Been through a tremendous amount of therapy over it and having a hard time right now understanding if I am overreacting or if I am being gaslighted again.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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b1irrn
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{
"description": "telling my friend he'd never get rich from multi level marketing schemes",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my friend he’d never get rich from multi level marketing schemes?
|
My friend and I have know each other for several years and he is now in his early thirties. Years ago, he decided not to finish his university education, which has unfortunately accumulated a lot of student loan debt for the classes he did take. He has since then been trapped in a low-paying job with bad prospects, which he despises. I really care about him as a friend and have always tried to help him out any way I can including job hunting and financial advice.
Since last year, he has been caught up in a multi-level marketing scheme. His “uplines” have charged him over $3000 for the “opportunity” to sell water ionizer machines that cost thousands of dollars to people on social media. He has not been able to recoup a single dollar after many months and his total loss out of pocket due to involvement with them is probably $5000.
Despite this, he continues to be invested in this scheme, which would be due to charge him the same amount again this year. I have, in my attempt to stop him from continuing in this scheme, suggested to him many times to look for a higher paying opportunity or even have his employer help with getting better certifications. I sent him a lot of job postings, and he would respond that he never wants to work for a boss again, and that people who work for companies are obtuse conformists who can’t think out of the box.
It came to a head yesterday when he told me his debt repayment had been hiked up by the lender which makes it hard for him to pay his bills on his current salary. When he told me this, I said: “if you don’t want to get a better paying job right now, why not look into Uber? It can help you make a plan because the earnings are not huge but pretty stable (we live in a big city where earnings are more predictable) and you can earn around your hours.”
He replied: “Uber is just a dead end job, I would not make any job where I had to answer to someone else my priority. I need to focus on (the mlm scheme) until I can pay my debt off at once.”
At this point I felt a bit angry and said : “no, you need a budget plan, because you’ll never get rich off this, it’s a total scam, you know that right? They are looking to scam you and you are brainwashed into trying to scam other people.”
He was very upset by this and responded that I am being unsupportive of his entrepreneurial-ship. I said being a distributor for an MLM was not being an entrepreneur because the business doesn’t belong to him, and that his focus should be to pay off debt instead of get rich quick schemes with con artists.
His response was that I was being a terrible unsupportive friend, and that I am acting this way because I can’t stand to see him “woke” and knowing what he wants in life and that I am trying to ruin what he believes in. He has since blocked me on text.
Was I an asshole for this exchange? Am I a bad friend for causing hurt because I feel that he’s wrecking his life?
If so, what should I have done?
Thanks for reading all this.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "calling my dad out for treating me like a housewife after he got divorced",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling my dad out for treating me like a housewife after he got divorced?
|
Ok so I’m gonna lay some ground work, so even before my parents got divorced I was always the kid who ended up helping clean the kitchen after dinner the most but since my parents have been separated since September 2017 my dad sorta treats me like a housewife and not a newly 14 year old girl. For background, I live with 4 other people, my dad my 2 sisters (18, and 20) and my younger brother (12) and no one cleans up after themselves and I will admit I can be guilty of that as well sometimes but even though I have 3 perfectly capable siblings he only ever asks me to clean the kitchen, or cook dinner and the weirdest one, put my brother to bed, and he is basically the worst and won’t go to bed unless someone is there making him, like he will just sit on his phone (duh) if no one is there letting him talk himself to sleep and obviously my dad doesn’t want to do that but he needs my brother up at 6:30 so he asks me for some reason, and then with dinner either I help him make it or I just have to make it by myself (like my mom would do) and then after dinner I have to clean up or sometimes if I say something to him about how I don’t like being the only one who cleans he will sorta ask my sister but then she’ll say something about homework and she’ll get out of it. So basically no matter what I always end up having to clean the entire kitchen by myself so about an hour ago I went off on my dad a bit, I had a lot of pent up emotion about this and I just let it all out in a very angry way in all honesty and now I hear him sadly doing dishes and he hasn’t spoken to me and I feel bad and I don’t know if an asshole for it. Maybe he was just doesn’t know what to do now that my moms gone but Idk
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
a2p34b
|
{
"description": "not meeting my family members for lunch",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not meeting my family members for lunch?
|
Some context: I've had a medical problem for over a month, which I'm not dealing with properly and is very noticeable, but is not harmful or painful to me.
And usually once a month, me and a few family members meet for lunch at random restaurants during our work breaks.
To the story: Today was one of the days where we'd meet up for lunch. One of the family members messaged me an hour before the break to notify me they'll be coming to a restaurant just next to my work place.
Knowing they'll berate me over the course of the entire meal, and having little temper because of previous arguments over the my medical condition. I told them that I'd come on one condition - Anything related to my condition and how I'm handling it stays outside the door. They took it as a joke, and the conversation abruptly ended.
Two hours later, and during lunch break, my phone goes nuts, and so do the family members. They're mad I didn't go with them, as they traveled 40 minutes to have lunch with me.
AITA for refusing to go to lunch with my family, and not making it extra clear I wouldn't be going?
For anybody concerned about my condition, ive already decided to go to a professional.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ad7py6
|
{
"description": "charging a subletter my entire rent",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for charging a subletter my entire rent?
|
I recently moved into a new apartment. The housemate I was subletting from was apparently involved in an ongoing court case with our landlord due to not having paid rent in *several months*. He didn't tell me or our other housemates this, and a week after I got here an eviction notice was posted on our apartment. To make a long story short, we called the cops to report that he'd stolen our money, and the landlord, who didn't know we existed, eventually agreed to let us rent from him while evicting only the asshole.
The place is in terrible condition because the asshole seemed almost dead set on destroying it- the carpets are horribly stained, he bolted wood platforms into the floor of the living room because he was planning to rent it out as another bedroom, there are huge cracks in most of the doors that I could not possibly explain, nothing works and everything is filthy- but the part that I now have is gigantic. I have an entire spare bedroom, and the rent is way cheaper than most places around here.
I'm working on cleaning it up and making it livable, and have been thinking of subletting that extra bedroom. My mother, whom I normally don't speak to, thinks I should charge whoever rents from me the entire $750 of rent that I currently pay. She's repeatedly told me I'm a moron and an asshole for wanting to just split the rent down the middle.
I don't think I'm being an asshole. I think an even split is the only fair way to do this, and I'm not sure where I would get off demanding that someone else cover the entirety of my rent, since I don't own the place and the only service I'm providing them is letting them know there's a room available. What do you guys think?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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ah6zx2
|
{
"description": "not contributing to my friend's parking ticket",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not contributing to my friend's parking ticket?
|
My car is in the shop this week. I need to go to the local shopping centre to do some banking, visit the post office, dry cleaning etc. I asked my friend (who lives 5 mins away from me) to drive me down there. My friend needed to buy a set of headphones so it worked out.
​
The shops have 2 hr free parking but it can be a hassle to find a car park. My friend decided to park in a loading zone located on the street. I asked if he was sure that we should park here but he said it was fine.
​
On exiting, we found an infringement on the windscreen for $AUD 187. We got in the car and he asked me if I would cover him for half. I laughed it off saying that it was his choice to park there. My friend didn't respond and we sat quietly for the rest of the car ride.
​
I got a text message from him later this afternoon, saying that 'Seriously man. It's fucked up that you won't pay for half of this considering I drove you.'
​
I haven't responded yet.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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VAIQ4fkffMiCE6olsKlfS0ix7e6VuI7P
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apsotx
|
{
"description": "being needy",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being needy?
|
I don’t know what else to title this. That’s really what it feels like.
I (15f) recently injured myself during Taekwondo and long story short, I partially tore a ligament in my foot and am confined to a boot and crutches for six to eight weeks. I cannot put any pressure on this foot at all, to the extent that the only time I’ve put my foot down in the last week was for my x-rays.
I need a lot of help getting around considering I’ve fallen a lot on my crutches and I can’t carry anything in my hands because of the crutches. By nature, I have a hard time asking for help but especially now.
But, a lot of my friends and family are helping out by carrying my backpacks and bringing me things (i.e. food, Kleenex boxes, etc.). I try not to ask for too much because I know how annoying it is to take care of me and I don’t want to put too much on my friends/family.
However, my friends have been acting really annoyed recently and even my family. They sigh when I ask for help and roll their eyes when I apologize. I think a lot of them are ignoring me.
Am I the asshole for asking too much?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a0jyuu
| null |
AITA for how I handled a good friend's meltdown last night
|
Quick background: I live with three other room mates in an apartment. They've been my friends for between three and eleven years (we're all early twenties). Oldest friend, 'Beth', is my friend of eleven years. She's been through a lot because of emotionally abusive and narcissistic parents. I helped her move out two years ago to live with us, but her family is friends with mine so there's been contact with her parents for both of us. She's relatively well adjusted but she has her moments sometimes, but it's never been nothing that we couldn't help her through.
Scenario :
Beth has been having a hard year. Her parents borrowed half of her savings from her and didn't return it, she lost her job because she couldn't handle her anxiety and depression, and one of her best friends moved abroad and stopped contacting her. We've been doing our best to be supportive, a lot of late night conversations and even the occasional financial support. Our only "demands" were that we would maintain a 'no nonsense' approach to issues and that if she were to ever become a danger to herself/others, she had to book herself into a hospital.
Being room mates and friends with Beth had been exhausting as a result because many days, she doesn't have the energy to do her part of chores around the apartment. Also, I get that mental illness is what it is, but being around someone that's been losing spirit for almost a year is quite draining. Looking back, I wish I'd admitted this to myself earlier and done something about it.
Two days ago, Beth found out her boyfriend was cheating on her with a mutual friend. We (my two other room mates and I) came home from a late night out to find her lying on the bathroom floor, bawling her eyes out so hard that we could hear her from outside the front door. We asked what had happened and she first briefly described what her boyfriend had done but then seemed to fucking loose it.
She wouldn't stop crying about how everything was falling apart. She had a panic attack and kept her head in her hands and wouldn't stop talking about all the 'mistakes' she'd made. We reminded her that things were still fixable because she hadn't had to move back to her parent's house, and that it's normal for people our age to be a little lost. She wouldn't hear any of it.
One of my room mates, Sam (a guy who's little dumb and lacking tact but means well), got annoyed and told her she's being 'ridiculous and unhelpful to herself'. She started crying louder and begged me to tell her it wasn't true, but I couldn't lie to her like that so I kept quiet. We tried talking to her for what couldn't have been longer than ten minutes when I suggested we call an ambulance.
She ran to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and started threatening to stab herself. We tried to talk her into putting the knife down and working back to a rational perspective, but she went on about how she couldn't afford to be institutionalised, and that all she wanted was for her to 'stop thinking'. Sam then said, "I know you won't do it. You wish you could but I know you won't so put it down, it's dangerous."
She moved like she was actually going to do something, so my other room mate wrestled the knife out of her hands, getting his palm sliced in the process. It wasn't too deep but there will still a lot of bleeding. She dropped the knife because of this and started crying again. Once we had her restrained, I told her in the nicest way possible that she was clearly having some sort of mental break, and was a danger to everyone including herself, and that our agreement was that she'd go to the emergency room. I even offered to go with her.
I then said I'd have to call her brother if she didn't do something, which freaked her out again because her brother lives with her parents (but she trusts him and he wants to move out). In the end, we ended up packing her a bag so she could catch an uber to her friend's house to think about things. We were all tired and trusted that staying with another friend may be a nice break for her, so we left it at that.
However, I found out this morning that she didn't go to her friend's house. We saw her book and get into the uber, so she must've gone somewhere else when she got to her friend's address. Nobody knows where she is, and her phone is off. We're obviously worried but Beth's friend keeps on insisting that most of the blame for this situation falls on me, which I feel is unfair. I could've done things better but I've already given my statement to the police and really did everything I could've in every situation with Beth. I sacrificed a lot to help Beth because she's a long time friend that's been through a lot.
AITA for how I dealt with things? I understand how a friend that wasn't there might want to blame someone, but rationally, we're all just people doing their best in the circumstances.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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ki17H5Qs2YfXkyDIEz5APUvJsrCAohrP
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arf8gw
| null |
AITA My MOH has been MIA and now this
|
This is complicated to explain, but my maid of honor (MOH) while has always been slightly self-centered but always well meaning got jealous I invited a different friend to my shower when she herself couldn't attend. So really, let me give some insight and tell me, AITA?
My wedding planning had been mostly pretty chill. it's a sorta destination wedding that will set up and clean up, and priced everything with contracts with vendors so all we need to do is show up with our marriage licence and a photographer. I asked my bridesmaids to pick any dress in their budget so long as it was this color or within the same family of shade, and to get their own shoes.
The invitations were simple and done, only 50 guests and all couples. There has been no 'making favors parties' or making centerpieces, or spray painting any votives, nothing. MOH wasn't making any plans or anything relating to the bridal shower so my mother in law planned it.
I told my immediate family and bridal party when the date was well in advance to the invitations ever going out. For Christmas she was "gifted" a week long trip with her hubby (and I'm not sure if I believe he planned and booked it all without her ever looking at a calendar about it). But it fell on top of the bridal shower. I didn't get my feelings hurt, its a romantic trip with your husband I get it. But none of the four friends I invited besides family came to the shower.
I had a week prior invited a new friend I had met at book club, at said MOH's home a few months prior and again recently before the shower and we've really hit it off. We text and chat about hobbies and the books we've been reading for book club. We haven't been hanging out in person tho until the shower. I was surprised she came with a gift, but it was super fun and she had a great time meshed in with my family.
Now my MOH is upset this mutual friend attended. I suspect she's feeling insecure, and wanted to address it with her in person only that it basically didn't happen today. We had plans to get her dress fitted, so I thought it would just be the two of us.
Last night she called and said she rescheduled her dress fitting bc she didn't have the shoes, lets go shoe shopping instead at a later time in the day. Fine, it's halfway for both of us. I wake up to her calling me, that plan's now canceled and she wants to hang out at her place she's found shoes on amazon. OKAY FINE. I can now address this with her too.
I get there and she has another fiend who stopped by to hang out unbeknownst to me and I cant have any frank conversation. Or how I'm feeling like I'm doing all the driving and every time we hang out it's always at her place. And I feel that more often than not it's always 'killing two birds one stone' situation with her, it's always feeling like we make plans for the two of us but somehow more people get invited to get it all done at once. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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a6bjgx
|
{
"description": "feeling bitter about my sister's pregnancy",
"pronormative_score": 48,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for feeling bitter about my sister's pregnancy?
|
Ok here goes. My sister has two children. Each time she had a baby she caused a huge commotion in the family. Creating stringent rules for being near her children, expecting availability for full day babysitting only on her terms, stipulating specific presents to be purchased for her children and downright punishing anyone who made any misstep (usually by cutting off contact for 2-4 months). Her behavior has largely made me feel uncomfortable being around her and her children, as I never know when I'm going to inadvertedly do something wrong.
In the meantime, my husband and I have struggled with infertility. It has been a four year journey involving countless medical tests, two rounds of IVF, the birth of a stillborn daughter last year, and finally the birth of our son, 10 weeks premature, 3 months ago. After 75 days in the NICU, our little boy came home chunky and healthy 3 weeks ago.
While we were in the NICU, my sister got upset at us for asking her to text us rather than call while we were in the hospital setting. She visited us only twice, and during those visits she was domineering and tried to tell us how to talk to hopsital staff, how to take care of ourselves and how to redefine our relationship as husband and wife now that we have a child (yea.. I don't know what that was about either).
She just let me know that she is 16 weeks pregnant with her third child, and will be announcing the pregnancy at the Christmas family gathering. This is where I think I became the asshole. While a new baby should be nothing but joy, all I can feel is that her announcement will distract away from my little one's first Christmas, and that my sister's baby circus is about to start all over again. I feel bitterness and dread, and I might skip out on the Christmas gathering. I known she didn't get pregnant to spite me or one up me, but I know that she will act like an attention seeking blackhole.
Am I the asshole for feeling this way?
TL;DR Just had a baby after 4 years of infertility, now finding out sister is 16 weeks pregnant with her third child and going to announce it at Christmas family gathering. I feel bitter.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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PAP7s4a9jCfySJrSNwiL24NlknJvcbEB
|
b6ctiv
|
{
"description": "making it \"obvious\" to my in-laws that I hate living with them",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making it “obvious” to my in-laws that I hate living with them?
|
When I got pregnant, my mother-in-law (MIL) suggested we move in with them until the baby is a few months old, since we needed to find a new place anyway. They have 2 full-time caretakers to take care of her parents, so it’ll be great having them around in case of emergencies & they can help care for the baby later. And it rent-free! It made sense so we agreed to it.
My father-in-law is the “rich” one in the family (ie. not unemployed, underemployed, or “working” at some shady MLM) so loads of people from my MIL’s family mooches off him. Our place is often filled with MIL’s relatives dropping by for meals. Not all of them are douches, & a couple are genuinely sweet.
The annoying thing is, I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes but everyone, including the nice ones, keep trying to give me sweets/unhealthy snacks/sweet drinks. I keep telling them I’m diabetic but everyone insists “just one *tiny* thing” won’t hurt & some even get extremely pushy about it.
I already make some exceptions; if someone makes some homemade treat, I’ll try a bite to be polite. But for some people, that’s not enough and they get offended I took “so little”. Everyone seems to believe their treat is totally worth risking my baby’s life over.
Some will buy/cook meals for me. As well-intentioned as it is, I’m too scared to accept any dish they offer, just because even the savoury dishes cause my blood sugar level to spike above 7.0 mmol/l even 2h after eating. The recommended range is 5.5-6.6mmol/l & when I’m eating my own meals, my blood sugar level never even reaches 5.5mmol/l. I have no idea how much sugar is in their food, but it has to be a scary amount.
My GD is mild enough that I can actually eat 2 servings of dessert a day without my blood sugar going above the recommended limits, but I’ve made sure to keep this a secret from my in-laws. One of my big pregnancy craving is fruits, but they make my blood sugar spike like crazy so I have to carefully ration these treats. Unfortunately, my in-laws don’t see fruits as desserts, so they’ll always push me to have a dessert on top of fruits.
They believe every meal needs to end with at least 1 dessert. Meals with the family get very annoying, because I have to keep politely refusing as they push the 4th dessert at me, going, “But this isn’t even *that* sweet!”
The worst is when they give me a drink they insist is unsweetened, but it’s actually a sugar bomb. I’d like to believe it’s always an accident, but it has happened so often, a paranoid part of me wonders if it’s deliberate. I do believe in assuming it’s usually stupidity instead of malice, but surely people can’t be *this* stupid, right?
I hide in my room most of the time to avoid them now, and they’ve noticed. My husband & I also decided to move out much earlier —a week before my expected due date. I guess that sent a statement about how much we hate living with them and they think I’m an asshole now. Are we ungrateful assholes?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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3pwa2Ir9c1IJR86LqVzBqumbBY9z0HUN
|
a4f4ag
|
{
"description": "asking my close friend how she can love her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my close friend how she can love her boyfriend?
|
They've been together for a few of years and during that time they've had some nasty fights (they fight often, but their nasty ones are maybe once every 1-2 months). Like nasty to the point where me and our other close friends are shocked that he hasn't beaten the shit out of her yet. He's nasty, violent, rude, an asshole, and totally disrespects her. She does so much for him, but he rarely does anything for her.
​
They had a fight the other day that ended with her boyfriend in the hospital with a broken hand/lower arm from hitting a car window. He basically said some disrespectful stuff to her and she told him she thinks she needs a break, so he did that out of anger. We went to lunch today and she told me about their recent fight, and at the end I asked her why she's still with him. She told me it's because he's a good guy most of the time and that she still loves him. So I asked how she could love someone that she cheats on (she's cheated countless times over the few years) and she got angry that I asked that. I didn't mean for it to come off as rude, I just don't understand how you can love someone (especially a guy like this) so much but fuck other people behind their backs.
​
TL;DR: Best friends relationship with her boyfriend is unhealthy. He's a raging maniac. She cheats on him often (he doesn't know). After their most recent fight, I asked how she can love someone that is 1) totally disrespectful and 2) that she cheats on carefree.
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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}
|
RIGHT
|
RgWEQczR6YZodORd3nNHxFnnZBnPSiZR
|
akj7fo
|
{
"description": "having a second friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having a second friend?
|
All the usual apologies for this being my first post and being on mobile.
I have always been a shy person, and whilst I can make friends quite easily with people I find maintaining friendships difficult, and therefore I only had one friend from the age of 7 to 25.
I decided at 25 that I wanted to go to uni so I enrolled in an Access course that allowed me to do this, and made a friend that I wanted to maintain the friendship with and she with me.
My Long Term Friend (LTM) seemed alright with my New Friend (NF) although they never met, they had talked over Facebook.
As everyone seemed to be getting on I arranged for a weekend trip to Amsterdam for my 27th birthday, and invited both friends plus LTF's GF and my sister. On this holiday LTF's GF didn't want to do much and wanted to stay in so I spent both evenings with my sister and NF.
I thought that everything had gone well with the holiday, but when we got back, LTF says that I clearly like NF better because I 'looked jealous' when LTF and NF were talking to each other (I was in a bad mood at the time, as the restaurant brought everyone's food but mine). She seems to be wanting to cut off the friendship because of this transgression that I have apparently committed. Am I the Arsehole?
For context, LTF finds maintaining friendships easy and maintains a large social group that I am expected to socialise with as well on nights out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
DftFiSy1hdn7prrEjpO20IcGhMWgaFZb
|
aehijw
|
{
"description": "rolling my eyes when a kid ran into me at the gym",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For rolling my eyes when a kid ran into me at the gym?
|
These 2 little kids always run around the locker rooms, check-in area, basically when ever I see them they're running around chasing each other. Pretty damn annoying consider it's a gym.
Today they were doing their usual antics, with their father paying absolutely no mind to what they're doing. I was heading out of the gym and one of them runs full speed into me, I look at their father and roll my eyes. Then just continue walking.
A few minutes later I start to feel bad, they're little kids after all they were probably just bored.
Am I The Asshole here ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fQ4cvIvRbkW81aQAQovpAf6EzUnh49QR
|
ao87g6
|
{
"description": "using part of a Nazi uniform in my content",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for using part of a Nazi uniform in my content?
|
Hello folks. I'm an active member of r/DDLC. (Doki Doki Literature Club, a visual novel from 2017, you should play it, it's good) I've always been fond of Germany and it's history, and I create videos combining the two when I have the time.
Recently I made a video animation of Panzerlied, a tanker's song from WW2. In a promotional post before I released the video, I created an image depicting the characters (the community calls them Dokis) in front of a tank wearing the uniform cap that was used historically by some Panzer units.
I got a comment asking why I used Nazi uniforms, and well... [this happened.](https://imgur.com/a/vskhekN) The first image in that album is the picture that started it. The rest are the ensuing conversation. I edited in the images I referenced and clarified some terms I used that may be unfamiliar to people.
Both of us have made our points in the comments and you can see them in the image, so I won't say much more here. I don't think anyone's going to say he went about arguing the right way, but is he correct? Am I in the wrong for using the uniform?
Also, I shouldn't have to address this, but just in case: **I am not a Nazi.** I just have a deep respect for Germany in general, particularly back when they were an empire.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
8ZITlgC78jbuy1RaNyziekB6Nap0oVo3
|
9zy5n2
|
{
"description": "interacting with niece/nephew in authoritative manner",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for interacting with niece/nephew in authoritative manner?
|
Context: Husband and I (34) live with his parents, as do his brother's family (brother (27), wife (28), daughter (3) son (1)). Parents and BIL family on main floor, husband and I in basement. Busy, cramped household.
Argument from brother and his wife: I have no right to interact with my niece and nephew in an authoritative manner, in a "parenting" manner, no matter what the circumstances.
Argument from me: I've never treated their children even half as harshly as they themselves do, and remaining silent in the face of bad behavior/actions is to be complicit and send the kids the wrong message about socially acceptable behavior.
We have been living together like this since summer of last year (2017). My BIL and his wife had trepidation about moving in but the rest of us were looking forward to it, like a 'Full House’ situation where we could see our niece and nephew every day and have fun.
I became pregnant in late October and morning sickness showed up in early December and stayed my entire pregnancy. I didn't change emotionally, but physically I was overwhelmingly nauseous every single day ALL day for 7.5 months, some days debilitatingly so, and my interactions with everyone was massively reduced. There was the rare time I felt well enough to sit and play or color with my niece and nephew, but it was rare. Overall, I really enjoyed having them around and found joy in the simple things I could do that their parents weren't interested in, such as sitting at the door on a rainy day and listening to and identifying birds in the backyard, or discussing differences in animals and food, or whatever. I found I really enjoyed interacting with them in a teaching aspect.
Now my BIL and wife are very strict in some areas with their kids while surprisingly lax in others. The lax areas include how much noise their kids make, which isn't polite when living with 2 other families. I suffered my entire pregnancy due to their indifference of this fact. Being in the basement, every dropped item on the wooden floor upstairs sounds like a little cannonball exploding, while running in the hallway sounds like a stampede of rhinos. Due to the nature of the house build and duct system, voices carry very well too so raised voices/yelling sounds like it's 5 feet from my head in bed. It's honestly crazy loud and my husband and I have told everyone repeatedly. Simple requests such as having the kids play in the living room instead of stomping around above our head before 9 a.m. on the weekends have gone ignored.
My nephew was just shy of a year old when they moved in and nearly every night of his life, up until June of this year, he would whine and cry for up to an hour after being put to bed, and would wake up whining and crying loud enough you could probably hear it outside - multiple times a night. I was an absolute wreck my whole pregnancy because of it. I got no sleep for months and they never bothered to resolve this behavior. Whenever he is distressed during the day he makes the same noise - a siren-like droning wail that they utterly ignore, even though he persists for minutes and minutes. It's terrible and bothers everyone in the house except for them apparently.
This noise is what started a 4 hour argument in July that I'm still reeling from.
I was 38 weeks pregnant watching a movie in the living room with my husband (we had no TV of our own). My husband's parents were gone for the weekend and my BIL's family was finishing up after dinner - dishes and getting ready for bed. Something upset my nephew and he started his wailing cry and after 20 seconds or so, when it was clear his parents weren't going to address it, I did what everyone always does and asked him a question to interrupt him and get him to stop and clarify why he's upset. I called out, “What's going on Bruce?” to get his attention, and my sister-in-law snapped back, “I've got it, thanks!” in the same tone she reserves for yelling at her husband and kids. I was shocked she would speak to me like that, and particularly for something as trivial as talking to her kid in an effort to get him to stop carrying on. I was pretty upset but didn't say anything, just went back to my bedroom.
The next evening, my husband's parents came home and were playing and talking with my niece and nephew while my BIL stood there. My BIL and wife have a strict 'no food after 7 rule’ for the kids which we all know. My mother-in-law was giving the kids some chocolate and it was 6:58 and she commented playfully, “Uh oh, hurry up and eat it or I'll get in trouble!” to which I seriously replied, “Yep, you better be careful” (because my SIL has been upset with them before for giving snacks so close to 7), at which my BIL turned towards me, gave me a hard stare and said, “Hey, no, we're not doing that right now” as if I was out of line. My husband heard, called out “What did you just say to my wife?” and that started an argument that lasted until after midnight - 5 hours of surprising accusations.
According to my BIL and wife:
It is extremely inappropriate to correct their children - ever.
This made no sense to my husband or myself and we brought up many instances where we had done so and they promptly told us we were wrong. Things like:
The backyard party when my nephew was getting ready to throw a croquet ball onto a glass top table? I was wrong to tell him not to do it, even though my BIL's wife stood there talking to another parent and didn't do or say anything.
The time my niece kicked my nephew in the back and their parents didn't see? I was wrong to tell her that wasn't okay and to apologize to her brother and tell her parents what she'd done. BIL and wife absolutely heard all of this, but utterly ignored me.
Interrupting wailing/shouting to get to the root cause and help them work through emotions? Wrong.
Comforting crying niece and nephew? Turns out they'd just been punished so cuddling them and asking what was the matter was wrong.
Literally every interaction that isn't a watered down, “Hey, cool toy!” is 100% unwelcome.
To reiterate, no one else is as harsh with the kids as their own parents. We don't use sarcasm, we don't swear at them, we don't physically reprimand them (except to keep from doing something dangerous), and we don't ratchet up the intensity - in fact we've never actually shouted or yelled at the kids, whereas all of these tactics are employed by them both.
I know this is long, but months down the road we still have a shattered relationship. They insisted that once I had my kid I would know what they're talking about and agree with them, but I still think they're crazy, it still breaks my heart that I'm not 'allowed’ to have a normal relationship with my niece and nephew, one that includes love and fun and discipline where required. Since having my son they ignored his existence the first few weeks of his life - in fact my BIL's wife still utterly ignores him, while BIL will look at him and talk to him sometimes.
It's hard to distill complex situations and relationships into some paragraphs, but what do you think? Am I an asshole for interacting with their kids in an authoritative manner?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
oaXW5aVmRTNZEr6dAlYEVexSBg4sCHpQ
|
a69whw
|
{
"description": "putting out the cheap toilet paper when we have parties",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for putting out the cheap toilet paper when we have parties?
|
This is not my normal account and my first post so please excuse any etiquette errors.
So when we have parties for 15 to 20 people or more I put away the ‘good stuff’ and put out the single ply. We supply food and drinks and I understand that this is probably a weird place to draw the line but I thought more people did it.
I was at a larger party at a friend’s house recently and I mentioned to her that she kept the nice toilet paper out. She asked what I meant and I explained. A few other people overheard me and only have jokingly called me a psychopath.
So am I the asshole for not looking out for theirs?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 32,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nGResLZGnd4mpKLEkZEUd11mKV3A6179
|
axdjjm
|
{
"description": "sleeping with my friend's sister",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sleeping with my friend's sister?
|
*Non-native speaker and first time OP therefore sorry for any misunderstanding in advance.*
​
I have a very close friend of the opposite sex and I went to her to take care of her since I hear she was sick. After that another friend of ours came. We were not like brother 'till death like him but we had some deep conversations. He told to her that if she could have his sister at her home for two weeks for an internship. I knew that but I forgot later. As his sister came, I remember. We realised that we have so much in common and interesting ideas for the other part. It was like 2 years of communication in 2 hours. I felt a sexual tension between us.
​
Then told my sick friend about this. I covered that quickly and never talked again about it but she told we would make a good couple in her opinion with two weeks with her. Later that night her brother went to his house. My sick friend went to her bedroom and we were alone in the living room where we were supposed to sleep. I dont know if it matters or not but she had a spinal discomfort and I gave my air mattress to her hoping that she may find relief. Go get in seperate bed and kept talking for 2 hours at least. Later that night she told me that she was watching my shadow of a candle. As she was going to tell a story of her that it was going to make her feel sad, mad or bad I said "Come over here. I want to see your face while you are speaking." She said "It's better that you come." So I lay next to her. Then things got intense.
​
The day after that I texted her and called his brother to see her for the last time before she leaves town. We met with brother first then went where the girl and her friends are. I sit next to her other but not much communication happened. Then we leave. I texted her while she was on the road and haven't spoke since. AITA?
TL;DR I slept with my friend's sister. Didn't tell a word about it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
w9c5Fivjh49XvTq2aYnJFvEnn7kDHV1h
|
ba0x4o
|
{
"description": "not waiting to get a ticket stamped and just paying the extra cost",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not waiting to get a ticket stamped and just paying the extra cost?
|
First post here and this might be kind of stupid and minute but my wife and I were coming back from a trip across the border. We live in California and were in Tijuana to get regular dental work done and possibly get an updated prescription for her glasses. The eyeglass place closes at 8pm and I drop her off at the place at 7:40pm and I go into a parking garage to park. 5 minutes later, she tells me the place won't service her since it is close to closing time so I pay the parking garage 10 pesos (\~50 cents) for the 5 minutes I parked there. I would have thought anything under 10 minutes would be free but I don't really care because it is so cheap. We decide to go to the movies because we thought Avengers came out today but nope, we were wrong. We parked in another parking garage and decided to leave. We were in there less than 5 minutes so I figured again, maybe free or something cheap. This time, you have to go to a stall and pay your ticket before you get into your car so it is 15 pesos for anything under an hour or 10 pesos if you get your ticket stamped at the movies. My wife says lets go back to the movies and get it stamped which we are right next to the elevator and the movies is directly on the 3rd floor. I said, no, lets just pay the price and leave. In my head, it is only a 25 cent difference and then once we are in the car, my wife starts going off on me how it is only 1 minute and that she could have gone to the bathroom at the movie theatre. I thought to myself, we were just up there and next to the bathroom so her argument was invalid but I just said it isn't worth my time. I am not from Mexico but she is and we both grew up in our respective countries without much money. I make a good salary and we live in a high cost of living area but we are usually frugal. If I had to replay the scenario again, I still don't think I would have gone up there to get my ticket stamped.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
i2hJpYi31T4p8nHCAmN4D4oOlLsfqhEt
|
ba0yx0
|
{
"description": "wanting my so to come to family dinner celebrations",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my SO to come to family dinner celebrations?
|
My family tends to go to dinner to celebrate family accomplishments, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. When we go, my parents pay. My sister (24) has been bringing her boyfriend to these dinners for 8 years. I (21) want my boyfriend (22) to come to these dinners as well, but... he refuses to come sometimes, citing a lack of money.
My mom is the one that has invited him (and my sister’s boyfriend) to come with us. And she insists on paying for us. (and has been paying for my sister’s boyfriend for, again, eight years). It’s not as if I’m just bringing my SO to dinner and expecting my mom to pay for us both.
My boyfriend, though, won’t come because he doesn’t want someone paying for him. He insists on paying for himself, and when he cannot, he won’t come. When he DOES come, he always tries to give money to my mom, and she refuses to take it. When that doesn’t work, he gives it to ME and expects me to give it to her. I’m not comfortable with this either.
We’ve gotten into a ton of arguments over this, because I want him there to celebrate important milestones like my birthday, my college graduation, my winning an award, and similar occasions that he should be there for, while he doesn’t want to go if he doesn’t have money, and my parents don’t want to make him pay for things that they’re inviting him to.
Who’s the asshole(s) here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dMampHudmMz5819MAxBIvcM3MJfM3qPK
|
azc55v
|
{
"description": "not telling my gf I'm going to a friend's concert",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not telling my gf I'm going to a friend's concert?
|
Well this happened a few hours ago.
Today I spent most of my day with my gf
(From 9 am until 5 pm)
When I left, I told her that I was going to spend most of my time at home. But that was a mistake because later I went to my friend's (F) concert where she was going to play the Violin.(Actually I didn't want to go to that concert and that's why I didn't tell my gf that I was going, but well...)
Now when I was going out of the place where my friend present my gf sent me a message asking what I was doing. I told her that I was just leaving that concert
Well, I think at that moment things went horribly wrong and she just stopped replying. After some time I asked her what happened and she told me that she was angry because I didn't tell her that I was going there.
Right now I'm pretty confused about this situation, so I just want to now. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
uk0CJpzD0n8A4FCYN8mA4ufHqyCuInNu
|
amaau5
|
{
"description": "suspecting that my girlfriends coworker is flirting with her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for suspecting that my girlfriends coworker is flirting with her?
|
So, my girlfriend works at a small restaurant. There are 3 employees there, plus two owner/managers.
One of the two employees is a friend of mine, he actually got my girlfriend the job there. We'll call him Travis, because his name is Travis. The other employee, we'll call Todd, because his name is not Todd.
For as long as Travis has worked there, Todd has been a dick to him. As a matter of fact, Todd has been a dick to all of their (male) employees since Travis has worked there, going on 2 years now. Todd doesn't do dishes, Todd doesn't scrub floors, Todd doesn't help new people, and Todd talks back to managers. Todd has been there for six years and is related to the owners, so Todd is allowed to do pretty much whatever he wants. Todd, however, is kind to female employees. All of the things he doesn't do, he offers to do so that female employees don't have to.
Todd is extremely kind to my girlfriend, chatty even, but has nothing for anyone that has a penis. There have been a few times where I've been a few minutes early to pick her up from work, gone inside, only for him to tell me that I'm not allowed to sit there and wait for her to get off work.
Where she works, the parking lot is very small. Besides employee parking, there are only two parking spots for customers. There would be only one spot in my girlfriend drove her own vehicle. This is mostly a delivery business, but sometimes people eat in. I digress, the last three nights I've gone to pick her up, Todd has been parked diagonally across two parking spaces. The past two nights, she said that he was probably just in a rush to get inside the store as they had been busy. Tonight, Todd had apparently pulled into the parking lot not long before me because I witnessed him deliberately (at least it looked deliberate, he definitely kept turning to be more outside of the lines) park poorly. I rolled my window down and told him to fix his parking. He flipped me off as he was walking in the store. I revved my engine.
Tonight I complained to my girlfriend about having to park in the middle of the parking lot because he was parked poorly. Her response was "We're you revving your engine in the parking lot? You're going to get me in trouble."
She sees him as a nice coworker, she doesn't see him as anything but kind at helpful. She says that he is "reserved" with males. It's been an argument or an "I'm not doing this right now" conversation every time he comes up.
I'm sure I'm being insecure, but Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
qLFgEnjIlLz6VvqXjnKdBDg6fS1FMUiU
|
a4920p
|
{
"description": "not caring if my parents take my sister's dog to the pound",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not caring if my parents take my sister's dog to the pound.
|
Before the 4th dog, we had 3 dogs, dogs 1 and 2 are both old and on their last lag. I take care and love all of these dogs. They had been my dogs for my childhood and teenage years. I groomed them, played with them, fed them, they slept in my bed. But dog 1 eventually died, I had cared for him during his last days and was the one who carried him into the vet. But my sister who never cared for these dogs the way I did wanted to be the only one in the room for his euthanizing.
None of these dogs were supposed to be mine, dog 1 was supposed to be my sisters. Dog 2 was supposed to be my mother's. Dog 3 was my older sisters. But somehow they all fell into my hands at around 16, I'm 21 now.
The day after dog 1 died my sister and mom got a new dog. Dog 4. I was surprised by the dog and didn't know how to react. It was clear she just wanted to replace dog 1. And I knew immediately I had a new dog to care for. Surprisingly enough she cared for him for about a month and a half. I never had to clean his stuff, she almost even taught him how to not piss in the house. But she grew tired and stopped cleaning up after him, and he became my responsibility because she would neglect his needs.
I eventually took dog 2 to be euthanized and dog 3 is now on his last leg. This is where the problem lies. I'm tired of caring for dog 4. I didn't ask for him, he wasn't my responsibility, when asked who the dog belongs to my sister claims him.
I'm finally moving out in a few months. My schedule has been tight and I've had a lot less time for the dogs. So my parents said if I can't take care of them they would take dog 4 to the shelter. And I just wasn't phased by it. I didn't care. I knew I wouldn't have time for another dog. I didn't ask for him and I didn't want the dog.
So AITA for not caring anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
TrR5X10QLMDxahc2CmhOjND93vKIKufW
|
b4n3pl
|
{
"description": "wanting my gf to still over even though she and her mom had an argument that put her in a bad mood",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I wanted my gf to still over even though she and her mom had an argument that put her in a bad mood.
|
So the title is self explanatory. My gf was supposed to come over to chill with me tonight and as I was about to get in the car and let her know I was leaving, she then tells me her and her mother have had an argument and she doesn't want to come over in a bad mood. I said I did not mind if she was in a bad mood I just wanted to see her because I missed her. She said again she just doesn't want to complain and bother everyone. Again I assured her that's not a problem. She said we could just see each other another time in the week. I'm really bummed about this as I was super excited to see her. I feel like there's something she isn't telling me but I feel like an asshole for pushing her. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ir3SZQkKi3TzToxUSguWDdqN0OcXI42p
|
b5gqbo
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to my ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to my ex?
|
My ex broke up with me a few months ago on good terms. I stayed in our shared friend group and hung out with them a few times including her once or twice. Everything was fine until she started to treat everyone poorly and become an overall negative person. Just recently I decided I had enough with her and left the group chats for the groups including her in order to get away from the stress she was causing me. Our mutual friends now want me to explain myself to her and why I no longer want to be around her. AITA for not wanting any contact with her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
r5xXwAoLR28mpfxq7vAclt61VL72Ei3A
|
aidy7c
|
{
"description": "telling my dad if he tells my mum something related to my mental health I'll cut him out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my dad if he tells my mum something related to my mental health I’ll cut him out of my life?
|
So I’m feeling pretty down and don’t see the point in life or happiness, I expressed this today to my father after a fight and he’s pretty distressed, he said he’d tell my mum (parents are divorced but still communicate) I said that if he did I would cut him out of my life forever
I don’t want my mum to know as she is one of my great friends and I’m scared that my dad telling her will change the way she looks at me. AITA?
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"description": "buying a house in an underserved hispanic community",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 28
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|
AITA (or we, wife and I) for buying a house in an underserved Hispanic community?
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Will keep this very short but can add INFO if needed. Wife and I came into some nice inheritance in mid 2018. We decided that we are going to use the money to see the world and live in exotic places while trying to get our dream careers going (me: writer, she: clothing designer). We also wanted to live in underserved communities where we could be around real people instead of the Dallas suburbs we grew up in or in gentrified SoHo where we moved from.
We decided on South Tucson, AZ. It is 90% Hispanic, historic and gorgeous. We were able to buy a house for a song and we eagerly moved in 2 weeks ago. However the reception has not been good. At first we figured that maybe we were the first open lesbian couple they had seen so we went around and introduced ourself last week and people were either not friendly and our 65 year old neighbor told us that white people like us only bring problems to the neighborhood. We asked her to explain, she said if she has to explain then we truly don’t get it.
I don’t think we are assholes but I sure felt like it after speaking with our neighbor. We are just trying to experience a different culture...I thought that was a good thing.
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"description": "thinking my mom is taking advantage of me emotionally and financially with our living situation",
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|
AITA for thinking my mom is taking advantage of me emotionally and financially with our living situation?
|
So: I live in New England right now because bullshit and I'm now living with my mom and it fucking sucks. We pay 900 for a 2 bedroom apartment and I pay 400 except I have to sleep in the living room. On an air mattress. To give context most rooms in this city to rent are roughly the 300-600 range.
My Mom and I are constantly arguing because she makes these huge messes, never cleans up after herself (like in the morning she leaves out food and poured out coffee rounds all over the counter) and will constantly say it's my responsibility to pick up after her. Even if I don't eat what she makes (which is often because I don't eat seafood) I'm still expected to clean up after her. I think that's fucking garbage. She expects me to clean up after myself in the morning (I never eat breakfast to avoid making a mess because I take the bus and it used to take me close to 2 hours to get to work, it takes her 20 minutes and she has a car). Also if there's any inspections or maintenance done on the apartment she expects me to hide all evidence of me living there even though there's 3 people on the lease so I definitely can be there. I have all my stuff stacked up in a corner because I don't even have my own closet and she constantly berates me because it doesn't look "neat enough" to her.
She also doesn't want me to put my stuff on or lay down on the couches and is upset that I sometimes sit in her room while she's at work (she has a set schedule I've never had one). I don't feel like I'm treated as an equal member of the house even though I'm paying like I am one. And when I try to assert myself she belittles me and tells me that I'm making myself out to be "Cinderella except [I] don't actually work" or if I get mad she says,"I'm your mother and you still have to respect me". On top of that she constantly criticizes my appearance and things about me.
Before some shitty things happened I was living on my own for a couple of years and struggling but still getting by. Now I just feel completely defeated. On top of that she gets my grandmother to gang up on me and tell me I'm not contributing enough and that I need to pay more and do more chores and I fucking hate it.
I just lost my job and am working on getting a new one (which will give me full time hours and is a lot closer) I'm really hoping to be able to move out I just wanna know I'm not fucking crazy.
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"description": "arguing with my teacher",
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|
AITA for arguing with my teacher?
|
Today I (17M) was in physics when my teacher gave us the rest of the period (about 45 minutes) for free time because many of the students had test that day. We had just gotten back from spring break so I had no test and no homework to do so I got on my phone. The teacher told me to put it away and so I explained I had nothing to do. She said she didn't care and to put it away. I did for about ten minutes and then had the idea to read a book. I got a book and started reading it. She say me and said to put it up cause it didn't relate to any of my classes. I asked what I should do cause I have nothing to do and she told me to stare at the wall for the rest of the period. I said I'm not going to do that but did it anyway. She then called my mom and now I'm in trouble at home. Was I the asshole?
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"description": "having sex with someone else",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
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|
Aita for having sex with someone else
|
So me and my ex have been on and off since august. Two weeks ago he broke up with me and then we got back together last week, then he wouldn't talk to me at all, but he told me that when i break up with him for good, i am gonna be a hoe. So then i broke up with him a week ago bc he wouldn't talk to me. Last night i had sex with someone then cried, and i messaged my ex and told him what happened. He told me he never wanted to talk to me again and he said i was being rude by telling him and i hurt him. ( i doubt that i hurt him) he blocked me on everything and so did his sister. Did i do something wrong? I guess my intentions by telling him about what i did, were to get him to be jelaous and tell me he wants to actually be with me. But i don't know if what i did was wrong bc we were broken up and i think our relationship was really toxic.
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| null |
AITA fo refusing to stay in the same hotel room as a trans coworker?
|
I work in a mainly female industry (modeling). I have a group of friends from my agency who I hang out with backstage and at shows and stuff like that. There’s one girl in my agency who I’ve known for some time, and she came out as trans about a month ago. Meaning she revealed that she was born a male but now identifies as female.
I am not friends with her, but I respect her choices. However I am a Christian, and I have my own personal views on transgenderism.
Yesterday, my agency booked a couple of models, including me and the trans girl, for a 2-day job in another country. She put me and her in the same hotel room. There is only 1 large king bed in the room.
I immediately told my agent that I did not feel comfortable sharing a room with this girl, although we don’t have any disagreements or anything. I just would feel weird staying overnight with her.
My agent got annoyed at me and told me to get over it. Somehow the trans girl got wind of my request to change rooms and is now angry at me. She is now telling people that I am transphobic.
Which I am not! I just feel odd sharing a hotel room/bed with a biological male, especially when I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend supported me and said I should just rent my own separate room, which I plan to do.
However now the trans girl is dragging my name through the mud. AITA for refusing to share a room with her?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to be intimate with my boyfriend when he's smoked pot",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA for not wanting to be intimate with my boyfriend when he's smoked pot?
|
Preface this with: I live in Canada, weed is legal. I do smoke on rare occasion, for example when on a night out with a bunch of friends or other social events. Max once or twice a month. I'm not anti-weed.
I live with my boyfriend, we have lived together for a year and are in our mid-twenties. I work as a biologist, he works at a family business. Other than this problem we get along well.
My boyfriend claims he does not smoke often but in actuality seems to smoke every day. He says because he has just half a joint it barely even counts and he's not actually high.
I disagree because when he smokes (usually after work or before bed, sometimes I don't know when since I've been at the gym most of the evening) I find he behaves as most high people do. I.e. he is a bit spaced out, can't really understand if I say anything complex, giggles at odd times, etc. Has that general glazed look in the eyes. I find it very hard to talk to him as it feels like I am talking to a stoned teenager. I don't have a beer or smoke on weekdays ever since I have to work in the morning and do a lot of sports and generally don't enjoy it as an everyday thing.
And I just don't find it attractive at all when he's high. On a few occasions he has laughed right before or while we're having sex and it was a horrible turn off. I have mentioned before my problem with the weed and sex. He is very stressed at work and the weed is the only way he can relax so that's why he smokes. I have asked him to smoke a bit less but he does not think he smokes much to begin with. Maybe I'm wrong and just very sensitive to high people or something.
He does get annoyed sometimes about frequency of sex since I will turn him down a lot of the time during the week since in the evening he has pretty much always smoked. I do explain its because he was smoking. I just really can't get in the mood if I've been trying to talk with a space cadet all evening before we go to bed. He doesn't understand since he claims he's "not even high since he only had half a joint".
I knew he smoked weed when we started dating, just he did not smoke as much then (or maybe since we didn't live together I didn't notice).
So, I am the asshole?
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amdrqn
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{
"description": "wanting to move out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA for wanting to move out?
|
AITA: Okay y’all, this will be a long one, but there’s a lot of pieces to the puzzle. I’ll include a TLDR at the end for the folks that need it.
So, I moved in with my best friend (22M) about a year ago. Upon moving in, we agreed that we were going to keep the house clean, as I am a clean person, and my roommate knows he is not the cleanest. Now I’m not talking ABSOLUTELY spotless, I’m talking clean as in grime. Food, dishes, countertops, stuff that will bring in roaches or dirty boots through the house or whatever. I don’t care if things get a little cluttered, but I do care about sticky countertops, grimy floors, stuff along the lines of that.
So about 3 months in, after we’ve both fully moved in, I started noticing little things, such as I would always have to do his dishes, clean the counter tops, etc. I would go downstairs, make dinner, do ALL of the dishes, clean the sinks, clean the countertops, and after dinner is done for me, the kitchen is cleaner than when I went down to start making dinner. As soon as I’m done, I hear him go down to make dinner, no big deal... I wake up to get ready for work, make my coffee etc. the kitchen is a fucking mess. Countertops have spices and oil and salt and are all sticky, none of the dishes are done (mind you, all he had to do was rinse them off and put them in the dishwasher and run it as I had already put all of the clean dishes away) the microwave is disgusting, smears of gunk on all the cabinets, there’s wrappers on the countertop, even the nozzle to the kitchen sink has dried food all over it. Just filthy. I take the hit, and deep clean everything, and let him know he needs to clean up his mess better when he cooks. Now, this is a cycle for months. I clean, he makes a mess, I clean and remind him, he makes a mess and round and round. I tried talking to him, i tried not cleaning up his messes so he’d take initiative and clean, but nothing works. So there’s that.
Now on to a more troubling topic. He has a dog, she’s a bully breed, about 2.5 years old, and he doesn’t take care of her. She sits in her cage 16-22 hours a day, her nails are so long that the tips of her pads on her paws barely touch the ground, she’s under weight, and she’s a fucking tornado. When she does let the dog out for the day, MY shit gets chewed up (mainly shoes). I have a very well behaved dog who roams freely throughout the day, as he knows how to behave and I spent copious amounts of time training my dog. So naturally, I feel bad for this poor dog being in its cage, and I’m sick of seeing it look all sad and occasionally the dog will pee/poop in its cage and sit in it for hours and hours. The dog is not fixed, so when I let her out, she bleeds everywhere and I’m sitting here cleaning up someone else’s dogs period blood. No bueno. So I talk to my roommate, tell him it’s not right and give him the rundown of how he needs to spend more time with his dog and that he needs to take some responsibility for her. He snaps at me saying “I’m getting to it, I’m just super stressed and busy and don’t feel like talking about this.” Okay... I do my part and pick up the slack. For about 3 months, I’m taking this dog to the dog park, bathing her weekly, cutting her nails weekly, getting her back up to weight, I’m investing a LOT of time into this animal, when I work quite a bit more than my room mate. I’ll be downstairs playing with his dog trying to keep her busy, while he comes home, goes straight upstairs, and smokes a bowl and stays up there. I’ve asked him numerous times to get her fixed to which his reply is “I don’t have the money”. The last time he told me he didn’t have the money to get her fixed, he came home with a $150 bong, and a brand new memory foam bed and bedframe. So I tell him that I can’t keep caring for his dog, because I’m starting to get attached and when we move out, I would like to take the dog with me. I know I don’t want two dogs though. So I ask him, “would you want me to help you get rid of your dog?” To which he replies “if I got rid of my dog, I’d have a new one within a week because I get lonely” .....? Even though she sits in her cage 18-22 hours a day if I’m not taking care of her???
He doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions and when I confront him about them he just says “you aren’t home all the time so you don’t see me take care of things around the house”
There’s a ton more shit that happens, but I know this is getting lengthy and becoming more of a rant. So am I the asshole for telling my roommate that I plan on moving out in April?
TLDR I have a roommate that doesn’t clean, neglects his dog, and all of the responsibilities of the household fall on to me and I’m sick of it and want to move out by April.
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{
"description": "yelling at my boyfriend when he laughed at me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
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|
AITA For Yelling At My Boyfriend When He Laughed At Me?
|
I game online often, it's one of the hobbies I'm most passionate about. I have a lot of fun, but I'm also serious about it and I try to move up the ranks competitively primarily in fighting games. My boyfriend isn't a gamer, I tried to get him into it early in our relationship but he said I took it too seriously, so most of the time he just watches and cheers me on now which I'm fine with.
I've been trying my luck playing Mortal Kombat competitively recently, and I've been having a hard time adjusting. I was venting to my boyfriend who tried to cheer me up and came to sit and watch me. I hit my stride and started doing much better and I was talking myself up for confidence, and "trash talking" my opponents but not actually to them, just in the privacy of my living room. I guess this got on my boyfriend's nerves, because he got up and left the room. I called him back and asked him to watch how good I was doing now and was playing around by talking smack to him about how easily I'd win. So he comes over and I end up losing both rounds badly, as in completely lop-sided to the point I might as well not have even been playing.
My boyfriend started laughing hysterically. The hardest I've ever heard him laugh, to the point where his eyes were running and his face got red. I felt incredibly humiliated. I get the comedy, it was karma, but the fact he knew I was serious about wanting to do better and started laughing instead of trying to make me feel better really hurt my feelings. I got upset with him and told him he was hurting my feelings, but he couldn't stop laughing. When he finally stopped I confronted him and asked him why he was being an asshole about it and rubbing it in, which I guess pissed him off because he said that if I can't see why it's funny that I lost that way after talking shit then it's not his problem and that he's sick of the immaturity and how I suck the joy out of things by taking it too seriously and he's tired of the negativity every time he's home and I'm gaming. I got upset and went into the bedroom. He didn't follow me and about 30 seconds later started to laugh again from the living room.
I feel like this is completely out of left field and I'm embarrassed and angry. I take it seriously because it's a big part of my life, everyone has their hobbies and passions and this is one of mine. I spend hours practicing and trying to succeed and it's my way to let off steam. I feel like he completely trivialized how important it is to me, but he's so insistent that I'm being unreasonable and petty that I decided to post here.
TL;DR boyfriend laughed at me after an embarrassing loss on a video game and we can't decide who was wrong
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "getting upset that my boyfriend is spending a lot of time with his friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
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|
AITA for getting upset that my boyfriend is spending a lot of time with his friends
|
My boyfriend is an artist and often hangs out with his friends and I don’t mind.
Last night they had a session and they all slept over one of the other artist house so he didn’t come home until 10:30 am.
I am upset because a) he told me to wait up for him and b) it’s hard sleeping without him.
To make things worse they invited him to a drive in movie later tonight and because I get off of work at 10 and the movie starts at 10:45 I told him to go with out me, but I was clearly upset so he said we can spend the day together before I had to work.
Well it’s 4:18 pm right now and he’s been sleep since he came home. While I’ve been up taking care of our animals and doing house work.
So am I the asshole for being upset?
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"description": "breaking up after she wanted to go on hold",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for breaking up after she wanted to go on hold
|
The title explains most of it already but i'm a little torn.
​
Alright so this happened in November of 2018, at the time we were in a relationship for about 2 months (doesn't seem like a lot but i have severe abandonment issues and get clingy fast (tryna fix that one) ) at this time i haven't seen her for about two weeks because she was too busy with school (we're both in college) meanwhile she would get increasingly annoyed if i suggested that we do anything together. So I started bracing for impact which evidentally a couple days before december I got the message over discord: "wanna drop it" she wanted to put our relationship on hold until july when our summer break starts. Now for a quick look into myself, i have already had a similar experience to this which drove me to a very unstable state therefore I said i couldnt. She started sending me links to articles on why it sometimes is better for a relationship to go on hold, me getting increasingly frustrated said that "putting a relationship on hold is beating around the bush for a breakup" she didn't take kind to that
A minor fight happened but it ended in breaking up.
I feel like i could've been more understanding but i still stand by the decision i have made.
​
now my question is: Am i the asshole?
TL;DR: my then girlfriend had a rough time with her studies and didn't have time for a relationship during this and wanted to go 'on hold' for about half a year i said that i emotianally can't do that and that's where we agreed to break up
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"description": "not wanting to keep my cat confined for 4 days while there's a baby visiting",
"pronormative_score": 11,
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|
AITA for not wanting to keep my cat confined for 4 days while there’s a baby visiting?
|
My roommate’s sister is staying with us during the weekends in January for work. Originally it was supposed to just be one weekend, but it turned into every weekend, and my roommate never asked me if it was okay or even told me the plan until I asked him. They are really loud together, and his sister sleeps all day in the living room, making it hard for me to do normal things without waking her up like cook, watch TV, clean, etc. Because she sleeps all day, she is constantly loud at night or in the early morning which is annoying because the weekends are my only days to sleep in.
His sister is bringing her 6-month old baby with her next weekend, and again, I was never asked if this was okay. They are planning on staying for 4 days instead of just Saturday and Sunday.
My roommate and I adopted a kitten last week (mutually agreed upon decision, he does not belong to just me or just my roommate) and he has been saying that the cat needs to be kept in the bathroom or my bedroom while the baby is here. We live in a small, 2BR apartment and the bathroom is TINY. We kept him in there for the first few days that we had him so we could litter train him, but now he’s a free-roamer because we know he won’t have accidents or scratch our stuff. He is still a kitten though, so he has a TON of energy and is still doing things like pouncing on feet and swatting at hands.
Understandably they don’t want the kitten to scratch the baby, but I feel like it’s unfair to my cat (and to me) to confine him to one area. I would need to either move his litter box into my bedroom (gross) or lock him in the bathroom (cruel), and I don’t plan on doing either of these things. I’m fine with HELPING to control the cat, but ultimately I feel it is their responsibility to keep the baby away from the cat. AITA?
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"description": "feeling like my brother in law is spoiled and my mother in law indulges him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA I feel like my brother in law is spoiled and my mother in law indulges him?
|
Ok- to try and make a long story short...
My husband has three older sisters and a younger brother. His younger brother has always been indulged, his Mom even let him father a child after suffering a TBI (he was driving drunk, he’s had the TBI for about 12 years now) and he only has the mental capacity of a 13 year old- he’s 30!
Every year we drive 5 hours to my in laws to celebrate. My aforementioned brother in law has a home 5 minutes away but decided he wanted to spend the night, the entire time everyone was here. No big deal
except my in laws only have a three bedroom house. We’re all stacked like cord wood and my
Husband, myself and our 8 and 6 year old were put in a full sized bed all together AND we have to share this room with two of his three sisters and their kids.
My brother in law gets a bedroom completely to himself with a queen sized bed for just him and his son.
My husband said to just brush it off but I got like 2 hours of sleep last night and I’m SO sore I can barely
Move.
AMITA that I think it’s ridiculous- especially because he could literally sleep at his house at night and come
Over in the morning instead of
Taking up a room and a queen sized bed for just him and his kid??
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{
"description": "judging my sister and friends in different life stages",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for judging my sister and friends in different life stages?
|
Throwaway. I am 21F and graduated from college last fall. My sister is 24 and also graduated last fall from a more prestigious university on a full scholarship. I busted my ass to graduate early and reduce the cost of my education. I went to college out of state, in school I had multiple internships and a campus job. One of those internships led to a job.
Now I have a job that I absolutely love and am financially independent from my parents. I now have a lot more responsibilities and bills between rent, student loans, car loan/insurance, etc. I spend my days working, at home I workout, eat dinner, then time for bed. My weekends are doing chores and catching up on sleep.
When I see what my friends are up to I find myself judging. They are incredibly immature to me like their priorities haven’t changed since high school. I feel like are concerned with being pretty/skinny or getting the right selfie and keeping up with drama rather than being financially independent. I worry about their ability to find a job if an employer saw their social media.
My biggest issue is with my older sister. I should preface this by saying that we are extremely close. Honestly her taking a scholarship enabled my parents to help me attend university out of state. Even though I had to take loans, I would owe way more if it weren’t for her so I appreciate that deeply.
As I mentioned she graduated when I did from an honors college with zero debt. She never worked during school, only summers. After 4 months she is still living with my parents and made no progress finding a job. She spends her days smoking and going on tinder dates. She still expects an allowance even though she lives in dads house rent free and eats his food, they have recently been fighting about giving her money until she gets a job. I bought a flight home to visit. My sister texted and said “Hey can’t wait to see you! Did you purchase the tickets yourself?” It was clearly supposed to be a gotcha moment trying to catch my parents giving me money when they said they don’t want to give her any.
At times I got the feeling that my sister and friends think everything I have now was handed to me or came easily. They dont respect the work I’ve done as they did not witness any of the blood/sweat/tears that went into my degree or landing my job. When they complain to me I struggle to feel sympathy and feel about by their frivolous BS. I am now dreading my upcoming trip home. I haven’t said it to them and don’t intend to, yet I feel like a terribly shitty person for silently judging the people I care about instead encouraging them to achieve what I know they are capable of.
Reddit, am I the asshole for thinking less of my sister/friends because we have different priorities? Should I just get my head out of my ass or do I have the right to be annoyed?
TLDR - I am transitioning into adulthood and my friends are stuck in their ways. I’ve become bitter. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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anxruz
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{
"description": "not wanting a child to go on a high school band trip that costs more than I would spend on a vacation for the 5 of us",
"pronormative_score": 14,
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|
AITA for not wanting a child to go on a high school band trip that costs more than I would spend on a vacation for the 5 of us?
|
We live in a moderately affluent school district where there are some families that are well off. The High school is good- good academics, great arts programs. I make a good amount, but due to poor decisions in the past, am living paycheck to paycheck. Almost the standard in the US I think these days- a couple thousand in medical bills that I am paying fine, several more in credit cards- I am not behind but have little in the way of savings.
Enter the once every 4 year super mega band trip. HAWAII! We live in the Midwest. Cost for the trip BEFORE airfare is $2700. Airfare expected to be at least another grand. that works out to a $300/mo payment each on the handy payment plan. I have 1 kid that never asks for anything, and is the saver who is all F this trip- lets save money and go somewhere else. I have the spender who is an incoming freshman who is all "I want to go and i will save money and work even though i have never done it before" I think it is irresponsible for the directors of the band to plan out such an extravagant trip- it isn't like the rose bowl or anything- the kids will be using rented instruments to play a concert in a park. I feel like this is really a haves vs the have nots- and I hate that feeling. Am I the asshole for not wanting my kid(s) to go on this and questioning "when is enough enough?
fwiw- yes there are opportunities for fundraising, but we have alienated a pool of people seeing as we lean blue in a red state, and we already raise $1000 a year for the normal band fees and another $1000 for Show Choir.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "using a girlfriend who cheated on me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for using a girlfriend who cheated on me?
|
My girlfriend cheated and even though I was heartbroken, I hid it and tried to forgive her. I made it seem as though even though I was hurt, I would still want to be with her.
After she thought things got back to normal I would just lust and want to have sex all the time. AITA for doing this?
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HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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{
"description": "refusing to give my little brother money that has been left for me",
"pronormative_score": 132,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to give my little brother money that has been left for me
|
About 15 years ago my grandma died and left myself and my older sister a sum of money each (around $15k each to help us start up once we graduate college and get a deposit down on some place to live). We aren’t allowed to touch it until we are 25/graduate as is set out in her will.
Since then, My mom remarried and had another son (my half brother) who is the biggest spoilt brat you’d ever meet (and also my new stepdad had a previous son from another marriage aged 18). He’s 11 now, and my mom’s approached me and my older sister trying to insist we share the inheritance three ways between myself, my older sister and my younger brother. Interestingly, not my step brother.
Myself and my sister feel like we shouldn’t have to do this because firstly, the money was left to us. My grandma never set out in her will that it was to be divided by any new grandkids also. But additionally, my little brother has a grandma that we don’t share (my stepdad’s mom) and she’s obviously going to give her inheritance to my half brother and step brother.
I just don’t feel like I should be forced to give up a large chunk of something that was left for me and I have made future plans based on having aka moving out.
My mom didn’t ask us to split it with my stepbrother, neither did she ask us to split it with my younger cousins who share the same grandma as me, but were not born yet when she passed away, which feels strange because if my little brother is entitled to my inheritance then surely the little cousins are too?
AITA for not wanting to have to donate a chunk of my inheritance to my little sibling, especially seeing as it seems even more unfair that he would get it but not my stepsister/cousins?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "paiding for a lawyer behind my husbands back after he said we couldn't afford it",
"pronormative_score": 66,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
WIBTA if I paid for a lawyer behind my husbands back after he said we couldn’t afford it
|
My daughter, who is 19, is trying to get a restraining order against her ex. The whole situation is a mess, but basically the ex has challenged it so they have to have an actual hearing. He has hired a lawyer that sent her a list of questions to answer. These questions basically all centered around her consenting to be attacked/stalked/harassed my him because she initiated communication. Basically, she’s the victim but they’re trying to make her out to be a willing participant so the restraining order isn’t granted. Anyways, we paid for a lawyer for what was supposed to be the final court date due to the nature of these questions, and our concern for her safety. My husband told her flatly that we couldn’t afford to pay anything further. Long story short, his lawyer asked for a continuation because she didn’t provide some info prior to us hiring the lawyer, and it was granted. It’s $400 for an additional court appearance. My husband is adamant that we can’t afford it, but I think we should just charge it/set up a payment plan/take out a loan or something. Literally anything. He’s brought up that she’s his daughter, not biologically mine, and that we don’t need to go into further debt when her maternal family should cover it. Which is a nice idea, but not realistic. He’s also brought up that it’s her issue as she did not return the info to his lawyer. Which yes, but I can only imagine how stressful and confusing this all is for her. I don’t want to go behind his back, but I feel like it’s necessary. He loves our daughter dearly, but we are financially in a pretty tight spot. WIBTA if I disregarded his financial concerns and paid for it anyways?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b601da
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{
"description": "sleeping with a girl when in a relationship \"break\"",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for sleeping with a girl when in a relationship "break"?
|
so im a 22 year old guy, i met a very sweet girl about 10 months ago and have been dating for the past 8 months. About 2 months ago we got in a fight and she told me she wanted a break and just pretty much ghosted me. she wouldnt answer calls or texts for about 7 or so weeks. I thought it had just ended between us because of how much time had passed. i was pretty depressed about it all and ended up hooking up with some random Tinder girl, 2 days ago my girlfriend finally called me back and wanted to "resume" our relationship (her words). i felt guilty and told her i had slept with another girl and she got really angry at me and told me i cheated on her and just stormed off. she isnt responding texts again.
​
so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a1m4v9
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{
"description": "telling my friend he shouldn't have a cat if he intends to get it declawed",
"pronormative_score": 109,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if I tell my friend he shouldn’t have a cat if he intends to get it declawed.
|
My friend posted in our group chat that he is wanting to get a cat but he couldn’t the other day because the rescue he went to requires he sign papers stating he won’t declaw the little guy if he adopts him, and he fully intends to declaw ((abuse)) his cat with this procedure.
I know it’s just my opinion and everything, but I really feel it is animal abuse because it’s essentially cutting off their fingers to the first knuckles.
A few other friends agreed with him but I kept arguing my point against them because I feel it’s important that people understand what they’re really doing to their cats if they choose to declaw them.
So am I the asshole because in part of my argument against declawing I told him if someone wants to declaw a cat they probably shouldn’t own one, period?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6qjad
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{
"description": "cutting off my dad over a dog",
"pronormative_score": 10,
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}
|
AITA for cutting off my dad over a dog
|
Throwaway because I have family who know my Reddit account.
So for some backstory, my father was incredibly emotionally abusive to me as a child. He hit me on occasion, often as "punishment" but usually for very minor things you probably shouldn't hit your kid over. The primary abuse however was constantly attacking me verbally, calling me useless and stupid, saying everything I liked and cared about was shit, etc. He put intense pressure on me to succeed academically and made me feel like I was a complete waste of oxygen if I so much as got an 80 on a test. Whenever I asked for help, he would agree then just berate me for not knowing what I'm doing. Basically, he made me hate myself, gave me extreme anxiety about school and people, and I made several attempts at ending my own life due to his treatment. My mother did nothing.
I'm 19 now, living with a family friend because being at the house I was raised in gives me extreme levels of anxiety. My parents are in the process of divorce because my father cheated, and what a surprise he tried to make all of us feel like it was somehow our fault he did so. Regardless, in general for the past couple of years he's "seen the error of his ways" and made attempts at being nicer. Although he still barely paid any attention to me, he at least wasn't calling me a fucking waste. I am attending therapy for the first time in years for my anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia, although finding medication is difficult and I have extreme panic attacks. My father lives with his gf, and the only time I've seen or spoken to him in the past 2 months is when he took me to a therapy session one time (which he only did after me and my mother basically begged him for a week).
My therapist suggested me adopting a dog to help with my panic attacks in public places. There is very little specific training necessary for this, so the cost is really just the dog and what a standard dog needs. I have the money for the dog itself, but not enough saved (had to leave job due to the panic attacks), however the family friend I'm with offered to help me since they already have a dog of their own.
I asked my father to take me to the animal shelter to adopt a dog, my mom is injured and can't drive, and initially he agreed. However the next day he was berating me in texts, saying that my mental health would make me abusive to the dog, that he could not condone me having a pet because I don't have a job. I basically told him he has no right to tell me what to do with my life, since he never cared before and has treated me like shit. For the first time I actually told him that he is the primary reason I'm so fucked up, and that I no longer want him in my life in any capacity. He didn't reply, and still hasn't.
I told my mom and she called me entitled, said I was disregarding all of his "effort to change", and that it was petty of me to do this over a dog. I really think I'm in the right and my dad's a dick. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ay3zqj
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{
"description": "reporting a person who hit my car in the work parking lot to hr",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for reporting a person who hit my car in the work parking lot to HR?
|
TLDR: guy hit me while I was parked, does a lot of damage, leaves his name and number. I ask 4 times for his license plate number, get a different excuse every time. Report incident to HR. Guy gets fired the next day. AITA for reporting it?
So I’m working at a large construction site, and the parking situation is not ideal. I usually park in the far back, away from all the contractors. One day I was running late, and had to park near the front (where it’s packed) to get to a meeting on time.
At lunch I find a GIANT ding on my front bumper. It’s torn half-off. The guy who did it left his number. Not great but so far he seems honest and reasonable.
I call, and he claims that we should spilt the cost 50/50.... even though he hit me while I was parked. Where I live, the person who hits a parked vehicle is 100% responsible. I said that, and he basically said “well I don’t have time to argue, we’ll talk after work”
So I agree, and we set a time
I go out at the appointed time, and text him asking him to call me when he’s free. Nothing for 17 minutes. Text again. Call. Finally get in touch - apparently he “was waiting for me for 30 mins” and is back at work now. Sooo... didn’t see my text then I guess?
I ask for his plate number, he says he doesn’t have it and will send it later. Ok.
Three days and two text message reminders later, still nothing. He even pulled the “Who is this and why are you texting me” thing.
So, the next day I report the whole thing to HR. I hoped he would get a warning, and be forced to send his info. I’ll admit part of me wanted him to get a talking to for being a jerk.
Well, today he messaged me saying he got fired. He also had a recent loss in the family and is going through a lot of stuff personally. Obviously I had no way of knowing that, but I still feel bad. Reasonably I should have known that firing was a possible outcome of reporting.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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at8fy9
|
{
"description": "not wanting to let this guy park",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to let this guy park?
|
Okay I know this sounds shitty but hear me out. This guy pulls into the parking lot, I'm behind him, there's FOUR cars behind me. The parking lot is L shaped. We pulled in at the top of the L then this guy, as the FOURTH person is barely able to pull in, starts reversing. That put us about 2/3 of the way to the meeting point if that makes sense?
Now I'm only about a car length behind him and there's a car parked directly across so he couldn't have even backed up and pulled forward. He gets half way to the spot he's trying to get into and waves me to back up. So I do the universal symbol for "what?" With my arms up and wave him to pull out and further ahead. Instead of being a normal person and accepting this he rolls down his window and yells "what's wrong with you lady? I'm just trying to park!" So I back up a bit rather than having a stand off and he then CONTINUES TO YELL AT ME INSTEAD OF MOVING AND HOLDING UP THE NOW SIX OTHER PEOPLE WAITING.
Naturally I flip him off and he starts moving then stops and again yells "what is wrong with you?! What is your problem? I'm just trying to park!" He finishes parking then I flip him off again and hollar "you're holding up everyone for the sake of being a dick!" and drive past him.
In case anyone wonders, this particular parking lot only has a drug store, credit union, and liquor store and is never full. There is always parking directly in front of the stores. It's never a hassle. So this guy could have easily parked somewhere closer to where he was going and not held up 7 cars.
I know it wasn't a nice thing for me to be hollering at him but I feel like since he started it, he deserved it. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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axozsh
|
{
"description": "giving up on relationship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for giving up on relationship?
|
My fiancé and I have been together over five years. Our wedding is planned for later this year and things are getting close. Over the past year or so, the relationship has grown stagnant and we are both unhappy. We also both love each other...but hope is nearly gone.
We've done couples counseling before to various levels of benefit, but one of us in the relationship feels like we both need to improve and the other feels like only the other person needs to improve.
We're financially connected at this juncture and don't live near family or any real support system. Should we call off the engagement and go our separate ways? Am I the asshole for giving up?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
9vxedc
|
{
"description": "not greeting my girlfriend once she enters the flat after work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for not greeting my girlfriend once she enters the flat after work?
|
Me and my girlfriend live together. We spend almost all the time with each other. We separate at around 9 in the morning. I come home earlier than her, and then sit in front of my computer learning some stuff or playing chess. Once she enters the flat, it sometimes takes some time for me to stop paying attention to my chess game or learning something before I say hi to her. She is annoyed by this. She says I don't care and give her enough attention (I GIVE HER LOTS OF ATTENTION!!!). WE SAW EACH OTHER JUST 10 HOURS AGO FOR CHRIST SAKES!!! I love her but can you guys tell her she's an asshole and not me? Or am I actually the asshole? Thank you. Have a good day.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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|
aw4n25
|
{
"description": "not letting people go ahead of me at the movie theatre",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting people go ahead of me at the movie theatre?
|
Okay so this may seem like a really small issue, but it’s caused a lot of tension between my girlfriend and me.
I always tend to double check places before I leave them to make sure I didn’t lose anything, and the movie theatre being dark and all makes it a significant place for anxiety. My girlfriend and I went to the theatre and once the movie ended, I got up and did my usual routine: search under the chair and around for a couple seconds to make sure we didn’t drop anything.
Here is where the problem is. In the process of searching around, I was holding up people from leaving their aisle and the theatre. In my mind, it was easier for me to take a few seconds to search around instead of have them awkwardly squeeze by us.
My girlfriend has begun to use this as evidence for how unaware I am of my surroundings and how I can be immature, as it was rude and inconsiderate of me to have held those people up. She says that I took too much of their time while I was searching around (it couldn’t have been more than 4-5 seconds, and she agrees on this) and that if I was more considerate, I would have let them go first. I find this unfair, because I thought it might’ve just been easier to quickly search and then head out instead of causing an awkward scene where people had to pass by me. They also could’ve gone the other way if it was that much of an inconvenience.
AITA for checking around for a brief amount of time to make sure I didn’t leave anything instead of letting people go ahead of me right away?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "cancelling a party because I'm not feeling well",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cancelling a party because I’m not feeling well?
|
I binged 3 days in a row. I wasn’t feeling well. So I decided to cancel the party that was due in two days time.
Also I had a party the other day and I have two dogs; which can’t stop barking at new people.
So was I the asshole for cancelling said party?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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awafu3
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{
"description": "making my GF sleep on the couch",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making my GF sleep on the couch
|
My girlfriend and I recently moved in together. Before moving in with my gf I was a frequent pot smoker. However I had to give it up when I moved because our apartment is no smoking.
Last night I smoked a blunt at a friends place. Afterwards on my way home my nose started to really bother me. It hurt badly and by the time I got home my nose was also stuffy and runny. (bad reaction was caused by a nasal spray I’m on)
My girlfriend got really mad at me because I sometimes snore and because she was sure i’d be snoring tonight bc of my nose. She was already going to be getting less sleep that night because in addition to her normal 9-5 at work she also had to work from midnight to one remotely over the Internet.
I apologized and told her that this has never happened to me before. I then offered to sleep on the couch and she told me no. However my girlfriend continued to complain about my future snoring. So I said screw it and grabbed my pillow from the bedroom and layed down to sleep on the couch.
When my girlfriend noticed she started in on me again and told me to sleep in the bedroom with her. I told her I really didn’t mind the couch, and I actually had a doctors appointment the next day so I didn’t even have to be up warly for work so it didn’t bother me if I didn’t sleep that great. My girlfriend would not let me relax, told me she would get lonely in the bedroom all by herself, that I would ruin the couch by sleeping on it, and insisted I move back to the bedroom.
Since she wouldn’t give me any peace I said fine but made her promise that if she came to bed and I was snoring she’d wake me and let me go to the couch. Well when she came to bed she immediately woke me up by yelling at me that I was snoring, she yanked the comforter off me and took her pillows off the bed, and said she was going to sleep on the couch.
I started arguing and tried to insist that I take the couch, but my girlfriend would not be denied and refused to let me take the couch. I woke up this morning to an angry and cranky girlfriend. She was nasty before she left in the morning and didn’t even say goodbye when I said it to her. I tried texting her after my appointment and she continued to tell me how angry she was and how I shouldn’t have smoked and I shouldn’t have forced her to sleep on the couch.
Now I do feel bad for her because she slept badly. And I feel bad that I had that bad reaction to the blunt because I obviously don’t want to snore. So i’m being nice to her and apologetic. However I take exception to her saying I “forced her onto the couch” and i’m the reason she got so little sleep. I repeatedly tried to sleep on the couch. I told her at least 15 times that it didn’t bother me. And when I decided to just do it she wouldn’t leave me alone and let me sleep. I feel like in this situation my girlfriend made her own bed (bad pun intended)and she shouldn’t be angry at me for sleeping on the couch. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
aeT9GtE3oOqbRBQfmRFX77fMflzQ55LT
|
apctv4
|
{
"description": "yelling at boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at boyfriend?
|
So I live in the PNW and we’ve recently been hit with a lot of snow and icy roads. I was hanging out with my bf and was really hesitant about being on the roads for any longer than we had to be. He insisted he’s a great driver in these conditions but that didn’t help my worrying go away. While we were driving he intentionally was speeding and I told him to stop because it was really scaring me.
He stopped for a while but then he started to INTENTIONALLY skid around on the ice. The first time I asked if he’d PLEASE stop because I was on the verge of an actual panic attack and I was seriously freaking out. So he stopped and apologized.
Later that night we had to go get some food and he forced me to come with him even though I really didn’t want to be in the car with him after what had happened earlier. He decided it’d be a good idea to drive dangerously on purpose again and I freaked and screamed at him to stop the car. It looked like he was really hurt and I know he’s really sad I screamed at him. He told me that wasn’t necessary, but personally I think it was. I feel bad that I had to yell at him but he was making me feel upset. He’s currently ignoring me until I apologize for yelling.
So AITA for yelling at him in this situation? Do I owe him an apology?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MrFTfV4s90CKWlWDI9DLWjJpsJIrk0Jt
|
afch5a
|
{
"description": "breaking a friendship for what someone said to me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for breaking a friendship for what someone said to me?
|
This happen at the start of December 2018, so fairly recent. I quite enjoy badminton and so does this person I used to be friends with, let's call Kevin. So I currently am struggling with anxiety and major depressive disorders and have been self harming but I'm seeing professionals and am on medication for it and things have been looking up lately. But to the point, Kevin know all of this because I trusted him and has been very cautious about no making me fell bad for it.
while me and Kevin were playing a round of badminton we were annoying each other a bit and making fun of eachother (this happen all the time and brought us closer together) but I was making fun of him because he said "I'm from England so I'm gonna identify as one" so I responded "ok, go drink your tea and keep thinking about that." I kept pushing the tea remark for about 5 minutes not changing my insult when he got mad and told me to "Go cut yourself." I immediately felt so small ( not here for pity) so I left and have since said to him " sorry isn't going to fix this, so leave it as that because I don't want it to be fixed"
TLDR; Kevin told me to cut myself so I told him that I didn't want to be his friend anymore
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
YkmAKyKkzNL4VdOupa4YxvT2l6Zijv2R
|
aswgyh
| null |
AITA? Partner didn't tell me about her triggers before having sex
|
There's no conceivable way to describe this that isn't awkward as hell, so I'll just get right into it. I was hooking up with a girl that I've recently started seeing; we're having sex and I used my fingers to grip her hair - not, you know, pulling it (which I think would be a weird thing to do without testing the waters) but just grabbing on experimentally - and she reacted very negatively. Immediately wanted to stop everything, and then full on crying and screaming. As per her request I left asap, feeling horrible about the whole episode.
She texted me later to explain that hair-stuff is a trigger related to her ex. Totally understandable. And I don't want to frame this in a a way that uses fault or blame, but here it is: to have avoided pain for all parties, should she have told me before we started having sex? Or should I have asked if she had triggers I should avoid? Also I kind of feel like the experimental hair-grab was probably a consent violation all its own, but I'm not sure. So I'm inclined to judge that I was the asshole anyway. Does that sound right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 20,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
fSEO5CozirBBLG5KHug72iRuDYSEw1JY
|
apic8m
|
{
"description": "allowing my racist colleague to tamper with the meat",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for allowing my racist colleague to tamper with the meat?
|
My fathers best friend got me a job in a grocery shop to work with him behind the meat counter last week, I am very grateful for this as i'm planning to go to university after my A-Levels and need the money. However i'm shocked to discover that not only is he racist, but he also takes this to the next level by tampering with the meat.
A brown person ordered beef sausages from the counter which prompted the colleague to begin sniggering as if there was a joke i was missing out on. He proceeds to tell me that the beef sausages actually contain pork and made underhanded racist remarks about the brown customer, most likely not even a Muslim. He then interpreted my look of shock as amusement and proceeded to tell me how he also lies about whether meat is halal or not.
He gives me a lift to work every morning and if he was fired i would have to give up the well paid job as i would not be able to make it there (it's a 1hour walk). My father also has supported him financially in the past and i'm worried if he loses his job my father would have to continue this.
​
[https://www.strawpoll.me/17411999](https://www.strawpoll.me/17411999)
​
Tomorrow at 12/02/2019 GMT 18:00 i will update everyone on my decision which will be influenced by the straw poll.
​
Update 3 12/02/2019 18:00 GMT, Today at work i confronted my colleague behind the meat counter, due to everyone telling me to report him i decided to confront him before doing anything. I asked him why he has a hatred towards "brown people." he then looked at me angrily walked off in to the walk in freezer. I then saw him purposely dip his penis in a vat of mincemeat and a "brown person" Hindu ate it 40 minutes ago. I have decided to either tell my dad tomorrow when he gets back from work or report him on the Friday. Thank you for giving me the confidence to take action, i believe he has some sort of mental issue.
​
Update 4 15/02/2019 GMT, thanks everyone for the help i reported the knobhead, he's been working there for years and it seems no one has reported him but me. The managers are very grateful and thankfully my father is not financial supporting him.
​
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
WRONG
|
tM7F3LeoEMBzPbYhHoOzEiOhS3FlM71A
|
a7trht
|
{
"description": "cutting ties with my friend since the school shooting",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting ties with my friend since the school shooting?
|
A while ago (years) my school was the victim of a shooting. I was absent from school that day (I was ill) and avoided the incident completely. One of my friends was injured in it and a close relative of his was killed. Although we were best friends at the time, he has always commentated that he finds it odd I was absent and in his paranoia (exacerbated by the fact he is now homeless) he once made a stupid claim that I had known about the event in advance and had deliberately avoided school that day. This of course is complete nonsense (and very hurtful) but you know how some people are. I have slowly severed ties with him and I ignore his messages. Do you think he will ever come to sanity so we can be friends again or not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
A5jJNn65BUv1iWQEw2SCLqIu9sOMzvdf
|
at1kwr
|
{
"description": "not seeing my kid this weekend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not seeing my kid this weekend?
|
(Posting in mobile, sorry for format)
My husband is split from his ex wife, they have a kid (age 7) together. We have an unofficial schedule where we have them every weekend and she has them during the week (she doesn’t work, we both work).
My partner and I are going on holiday next week and have had this booked for over 6 months, costing around €1000 total.
My partner got a call from his ex to say the child has chicken pox and that they’re currently off school. Neither of us have had chicken pox before, and my partner has a weak immune system due to medication he takes.
As a precaution, we said to the ex that we couldn’t take the kid this weekend due to the risk of infection and also the fact that the airline may say to us we can’t fly making us lose our money.
The ex flipped, saying how we are bad parents and that we refuse to see the child. This is not the case, we just think considering all the circumstances this is the best option to prevent further spreading of the illness.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
oeskwfgdc5DlBY7jV4UQkoRzV9bQ3AdY
|
a8jl4r
|
{
"description": "telling someone how awful they're YouTube channel is",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling someone how awful they’re YouTube channel is
|
Basically there’s a kid at my school who has a YouTube channel and some of the content on his channel is just objectively awful e.g 3 part series on his family washing their car , 25 part series on opening his Lego advent calendar, an interview with his uncle
Anyway I was sitting by him in a lesson and asked him wat he was getting for Christmas and he said a 4K camera for his YouTube. I then asked if he thinks he can go pro in YouTube and he said yes . I said that he could probably do with switching his content up and he said wat do u mean and I said to him no one finds a blog if his geography trip entertaining and he started saying that people said they enjoyed it (Ik for a fact that they were taking the piss saying this). I then told him that if he stays making that content will never go pro
AITA for saying that
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
6iwZB5LgnV3dZZxAFF12q1NIihMBgclN
|
aojs27
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be codependent with my girlfriend as freshmen in College",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be codependent with my girlfriend as freshmen in College?
|
So my background is that I'm currently a high school senior (17M) and my girlfriend (17) is also a high school senior and here's the problem I have with our plan;
So we are both going to FSU (I applied and I want to go because FSU was my #1 choice and it has nothing to do with where my girlfriend was going as she was originally going to go to UCF after a gap year) and I love her a lot (we've been together for about a year and a half) but the thing is back last semester I was responsible for her much more than I wanted to be. Personally this is my first long term relationship and I know I'm extremely young, but I would basically wake up earlier than I used to so I picked her up from her house which is about 10 minutes and a drive on the highway away from mine, then another 8 minutes to school, and I still pick her up and drop her off from school. I tried talking to her about the whole morning pick up thing because it stressed me out a lot when she'd get angry at me for being late but the truth is I'd be tired and late because of traffic or something else and she put it on me that I don't love her or that it isn't the same etc. Eventually I got in trouble with my parents for this and her friend gives her rides to school now.
Anyways, I digress: so she's pressuring the idea of living off campus from FSU (which my parents don't know about) so that we can be together in the apartment and she doesn't want to live on campus from fear of feeling suffocated by school and I may want to live on campus for the first year so I can get that full college experience and so I don't get sidetracked from my schooling, and we talked about the pros and cons today and she kept telling me how stupid of an idea it is and how it's better to live off campus and she gets mad at me for not making an immediate decision. The off campus and on campus are relatively similar prices (on campus for one year is $3500 AVG and off campus is a few hundred $ cheaper. I don't want to have to be responsible for her like in high school where I have to give her rides to class all the time (keep in mind she still doesn't even have her learner's permit and I told her for over a year to start taking drivers ED online) and I just can't do it. I told her I want to stay on campus to be more involved and she keeps telling me that I'm already stressed out being in Student Government and HOSA for high school that I couldn't handle it as a senior and it doesn't matter, but to me it does very much matter because I'd like to go either to med School or graduate school for medicine (my major is NFA Behavioral Neuroscience and hers is something with art). She doesn't understand the amount of work I'd have to put in to even be a good applicant for Med School or graduate schooling and doesn't quite 100% understand the work I'm willing to put in for it, which brings another worry that she may get frustrated with how often I work (she doesn't currently have a problem with how much I work which including school I have two jobs but she is very emotionally dependent). I doubt my parents would let me get an off-campus residence regardless and it makes me wonder how she'd react and I'm at such a dilemma. I want to have fun in my earlier years of life and college, I want to have the full experience, I don't want to sacrifice my relationship so I can have a drink once in a while (I do want to party sometimes, and in my culture it's very common for people to drink wine often, but she's very conservative about that and she doesn't agree with drinking because it reminds her of her father who is a very abusive figure in her family).
I'm afraid of being tied down in the early prime years of my life but I love her very much, she's extremely talented at what she does, she helped me keep my head straight in school (I used to be a bad student) and she does make me very happy, we've had amazing moments in our relationship together, absolute bliss, but the reason I'm afraid is because we sometimes get in episodes where we constantly argue and we've almost broken up a few times in the past. If we do end up breaking up I'm not sure how we would feel still having to keep the lease on an apartment and my parents don't exactly approve of my relationship, they don't 100% like her but I think it's because we aren't the same nationality, and they're conservative immigrants who believe I should find someone of my own nationality (not RACE, but ORIGINAL NATIONALITY) instead. It's been killing me and I'm at a serious dilemma as to what I should do, and I'm new to Reddit so me coming here for advice may be a bad choice but I've seen other posts with amazing advice on this thread. Here's my plead for help, and please any advice or experiences in this type of thing would be extremely appreciated. Thank you
​
EDIT: We’re going on a break. Constant arguing and all, we decided beforehand that one of us would try to get a single dorm and that way we can be together overnight a few times a semester and see if we can handle the responsibility of one day being in our own sort of apartment, but also, yeah. We are likely breaking up, sorry for the wait, there’s more updates to come and frankly idk if I should even post them because at this point this is just a post about me being s little bitch about my relationship which isn’t what this subreddit is for but I mean hey if I don’t get banned from posting here or if I don’t annoy the living hell out of you all I might. Thank you all for the advice though, I don’t know if this is the end for us.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
K5TNNkZiP006DIVubBGtThLS5oR4Yvs4
|
am61lq
|
{
"description": "getting my ex girlfriend fired",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting my ex girlfriend fired?
|
We dated for a year and something and worked together in the kitchen of a restaurant before the restaurant had to relocate. We broke up on good terms before the restaurant opened. Because I know the owners, I wanted a part time job to get some money for stuff and rely less on my parents. The owners asked her to come work as well.
That's when the nightmare began. I tried to remain neutral and keep her away, but she was obviously trying to catch my attention with annoying bullshit. She purposefully messed up my orders or went on breaks when there was a lot of work to do. To make things worse, I could only work when she was on the shift because of college schedule. I finally had enough, but rather than snap at her, I went straight to the bosses and told them that I've had enough.
She was being mean, disruptive and made me much more tired than I should have been, which made my work intolerable. At the same time, other people that worked with her told the bosses that the same was true on their shifts, when they worked with her as well. After some deliberation, they finally fired her.
I think it's also fair to say that she doesn't have the best financial support and position, and this job helped her. But she's only 19 and can find another part time if she really wants. But was I an asshole for that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QpEacfgx0qj1ZsomgafvU2OIw0cy1DOx
|
aixuas
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend sleeping out",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting my girlfriend sleeping out.
|
Recently got back together with my ex, Not a bad breakup I just needed time for school. I trust her and she's trusts me and we're just getting back into the swing of things. Today she decided to stay out at her friend's which is fine by me. I call about 3 hours later and she's at her ex boyfriends house. (some background, this boyfriends frequently hits her up trying to get her to his house and she claims he's annoying but doesn't block him) anyways the two are at his house and I'm having doubts. This same guy "attempted to force her to give him head and frequently says he still wants her to give him head" but somehow she thinks its a good idea to let him talk to her friend. I'm really confused and don't know what to feel. This same girl is extremely insecure about me and girls even though I have reason to doubt her in the past but she has Nothing on me.
I just don't know what to think.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vYbW5nDa5LBdvxFvJ11wFuw1xuojEtiX
|
atq5sx
|
{
"description": "reporting someone who didn't give me back my underwear",
"pronormative_score": 54,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for reporting someone who didn’t give me back my underwear?
|
This happened rather recently to me and I’m still sorta freaked out and angry about it.
I live on an Air Force base in the barracks.
Each floor of the building I live in has a washing and dryer room with around 5 to 6 washers and dryers a piece. Early this morning after I got off of work, I stripped everything off my bed and got my clothes ready to wash. When I got back later that night, I took my clothes to the dryers and dried them. Since it takes a good 70 minutes to dry clothes in those machines, I went up to my room to wait it out. Once they were done, I went to collect them.
There’s no one else in the room besides another person folding and doing his laundry as well. He gives me a look, but says nothing to me. I pay no mind to him and load up my bag with my sheets and clothes. I turn around to check for my socks and I realize that I dropped a lot of clothes on the ground while I was putting them in my laundry bag and going to the other dryer to get my sheets. As I pick them up I notice the guy has something in his hands, stretched out between his hands. I don’t pay it any mind until I realize that my favorite underwear isn’t in the mixture of clothes I dropped. I go to check my bag thinking I dropped them in already but I see that he has my underwear in his hands. He’s stretching them, inspecting the inside and feeling the lace along the sides all the while staring at them. I freeze and freak out for a second before thinking that he probably just wants to return them and is waiting for me to stand up or say something. I stand up and look at him expectedly with my hand outstretched at him before he turns around, with my underwear still in his hands. I say “hey” to him loudly and agitated and wave my hand at him, forcing him to turn around.
Me: “Uh hey buddy, those are... My underwear that you’re holding.”
Him: “I know.”
Me: “Could you give them back to me?”
My hand is still outstretched and I’m basically glaring at this guy. I feel uncomfortable when people touch my clothes that I just washed, and seeing him manhandling something thats really private and personal infuriated me. We stare at each other for about a minute, both of us in silence, so I become a little forceful.
Me: “Give me back my fucking underwear.”
He doesn’t respond and just pulls them closer to his chest.
Him: “They’re warm.”
At this point I’m too baffled to say anything to him so I go up to him, snatch my underwear from his hands and go to my room to sort and organize my clothes. I’m still astonished at this as I’m typing it, but I’m so angry that I feel like I’m going to virtually explode.
WIBTA for reporting him to my dorm manager? I know what he looks like, and there are cameras right outside the door to the washroom. I’m just afraid I’m overreacting here.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 54,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 54,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OHleMYeU0tJIN7fXfKIUi71bFSrxvOm4
|
a3n4i5
|
{
"description": "being mad at my friend for the way he talks and games out with a girl I'm crushing on",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For being mad at my friend for the way he talks and games out with a girl I'm crushing on?
|
[20 M]y friend's mother was running for city council in our city, and I was helping her with the campaign. One of the girls volunteering was great. Intelligent, funny, incredibly sweet, and very pretty. I've never been great with women, and my buddy is as encouraging as one should be. At one point, he asked why I liked her, and I explained why and kind of said "I don't see why a sleazy guy like me should be into someone so kind". He was quick to say that I'm not sleazy, but...yeah I can be an asshole.
I try to talk to her, and we have great moments. But I'm just so damn awkward. He's much better with her, but sometimes at my expense. I don't have a car because I'm saving for a motorcycle, and while I'm talking to her he brings this up, something he knows I'm insecure about. They can carry a conversation much better and I get to feel jealous.
Earlier, I asked him if he wanted to hang out, and he said he was busy all day, but then later he posted a picture on Instagram showing him hanging out with her and being really chummy. I don't want to be mad at him, but it just feels like he's not being supportive or something. He was in a good relationship for a long time. Maybe 4-5 years, but it recently ended on a sour note because she's dealing with mental health issues. I know he needs a win right now, but I feel like I never have something going for me. I don't know, maybe that's the wrong way to think about it. Please help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
InjqoTsAQgZj2rb0kR9zZ5pYt5XnLycJ
|
b61d3t
|
{
"description": "saying \"GGEZ\" after some online games",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for saying "GGEZ" after some online games?
|
The title says it all, really. Throughout various games I play, I sometimes drop a "GGEZ ('good game, easy' for those unfamiliar with games)" after a win (not necessarily an easy win either) when I feel like having some light online banter (these games can be competitive or casual). I myself always thought it was harmless online banter but I do get the occasional player bothered by it. So Reddit, am I the asshole for dropping a "GGEZ" in chat after a win if I feel like it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
fPdbb8YdQq5O3DaXJKO51ihlnkpEHgsb
|
b4xlm2
|
{
"description": "calling out my friend for being too passive aggressive to a girl we both don't like",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling out my friend for being too passive aggressive to a girl we both don't like
|
For quick context: during social science class in the beginning of the school year (July specifically) our topic was about Marcos and Martial Law in the Philippines (google for more info cause its a lot, tl;dr wont do it justice). It's a very sensitive topic for many, but most of the class was able to discuss it in a civilised manner. This one girl though, lets call her Aya, defended Marcos and ML. Of course, many of the class didn't like it, and since it was the beginning of the year, it was our first impression of her. We collectively just decided to ignore her but there are also a lot of people who greatly disliked her after that, which was reasonable considering the topic.
It's the last month of school for us now. We were randomly assigned groups for our final project, and I ended up with Aya and my friend, who I will call Bee. Previously Bee was randomly assigned to be in a group with Aya and according to her, Aya is a nightmare to work with. I'm talking freeloader, doesn't actively contribute, gets distracted during group discussions, doesn't listen to the group's feedback of her work, and as a result her contributions are very lackluster. Since I wanted a good final grade, I still tried my best to be co-operative with Aya while trying to minimise tension between her and Bee.
Aya *was* hard to work with, but what made it worse was that Bee absolutely refused to work with Aya so I often found myself doing and fixing up most of the work. And during the whole time, Bee is messaging me talking about how bad Aya is and how she's so annoying meanwhile *she* doesn't do anything about it. I was tired of everything at this point, I called her out for basically being a freeloader the whole time and out of anger said that she was worse than Aya in this situation. Bee got *really* pissed at me for that, saying how I was defending Aya's actions and that I probably don't even care that Aya is a Marcos apologist (when I do and she knows cause I talked about it with her) and how I don't care about what she feels or what she went through before (via when she had to deal with Aya in their previous group). Haven't talked to her since. Today, Bee started helping a bit with the work, but it doesn't even matter cause the deadline is tomorrow.
I just feel really upset, guilty and stressed right now so I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. AITA? Should I have handled it better and been more considerate?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bokv2vWiHaLIoHlxZjL9hCJlTilEuVae
|
b4nimz
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to my boyfriend after sex",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to my boyfriend after sex?
|
My boyfriend (20m) and I (20f) have been dating for a little over a year and we’ve had sex a couple of times. Last night we were hanging out with some friends at my place and it was hitting 2am, so I wanted to go to sleep soon and started to wind down the get together. My boyfriend insisted that I come back with him since his roommate wasn’t there for the night, and I kind of didn’t want to. He got visibly upset with me so I agreed to come back with him. He hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before, so it was strange to me that he wanted to initiate sex being so tired.
We had some pretty great sex imo, but he wouldn’t finish. I tapped out after 15 minutes and he dragged it on for longer, and then, out of the blue, he asks for anal. We had never done that before, and I wasn’t even sure about how it felt nor was I mentally prepared. He had completely stopped what he was doing and kept insisting for it, so thinking that it might get him to finish sooner, I say yes, with a very clear boundary that if I said to stop, it meant we were stopping. I had read about it before hand so there was some preparation.
He was respectful throughout the whole thing, took it very slow, he said he was enjoying it a lot, but again, he wouldn’t finish and I don’t know why. He just kept going until I felt nauseous and told him to stop, I was out, I was exhausted and I couldn’t continue any type of intercourse at this point.
He stopped, cleaned up, and was very upset because he didn’t finish. I asked him why he wasn’t able to finish and he said he was holding back cause he really wanted to keep going, but I find that extremely hard to believe, going on for a little over 45 minutes at this point. He asked for a blowjob and I tried that but he was just taking way too long, at this point I felt like he wasn’t into me, nothing I did got him to finish and he ended up falling asleep very upset with me. I cried and I left on my own, and messaged him at 4am that I was hurt and didn’t want to talk for a while.
He messaged me and I told him my thoughts and he said that I was being petty and if I wanted to feel sorry for myself then to take as long as I want. I feel humiliated, I feel like I’m no good at sex and I’m still hurt and upset.
Am I over exaggerating my feelings? I feel like I’m being selfish cause he got me to finish, but I tried my hardest and he just wouldn’t go over that edge.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
HV1vsqPcSURdfanMeNKtulwfN2HqCKOu
|
arvqkz
|
{
"description": "getting snapping at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting snapping at my friend
|
So me and one of my best friends are hanging out. I made us one of those small party pizzas I had in my freezer. I split it in half, 4 slices. Two for each. We start eating and he finishes eating two slices as I finish the first. So then he goes for the third slice and asks "is it cool if I have the third one?"
Which really pissed me off. I guess part of it was the pent-up build up of other similar things. So I kinda snapped and said "No. Don't be fucking selfish dude"
He goes ok jeez I'm just asking. So then a back and forth happens and when we get into a fight and he leaves.
Did I overreact?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
euW8j4RSavrJBqCKAgFs0IgIK6meRpmG
|
azh45v
|
{
"description": "bowling 'date'",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Bowling ‘Date’
|
i was back home on break from school and yesterday was my last day and my friend who’s a girl asked me if we wanted to hang out and i said yes (i think she likes me and has for a long time but i don’t feel that way about her)
we decided to go bowling and i asked if i could bring my little brother because i wanted to spend some time with him before i left , she’s said yes and it sounds great. so i go and pick her up from her house and go inside and talk to her parents who are longtime family friends and then her me and my lil bro go to the bowling alley. when we get there we go to wait in line and it takes a couple minutes, we go to the front desk and i day three people and he’s like $35 dollars so i pay for me and my brother and i kind of look at her and she wasn’t reaching for her wallet so i was like “i guess ill pay then” and paid the dude $35 bucks, maybe it doesn’t sound like a lot but that was like almost all i had in my wallet !! i was a little pissed , i don’t think this was a date and i don’t think I should’ve had to pay for her , that was like all my money I have
it’s not that i wouldn’t have paid for her it’s the fact that she didn’t even say anything while we were in line or any point leading up to that , and it left me kind of uncomfortable because i really wasn’t expecting to pay
AITA for being a little upset at this girl for this ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vkm8oeFZukAjRG3aG0MXSNWg0tOqzzZL
|
9wafyp
|
{
"description": "talking about video games with my son and his teammates when video game discussion has been banned by their team",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for talking about video games with my son and his teammates when video game discussion has been banned by their team
|
My 10 year old son plays house league hockey and has so for many years, but this year his team (manager and coaches) have forbid them from speaking about video games in the dressing room, during tournaments, and pretty much anytime they are around the team. This happened at the beginning of the year where they also forbid the team from naming their team The Brite Bombers (A Fortnite skin name).
I admit that I maybe completely bias as I am an avid gamer. I play video games with many of my friends, both of my kids, and I also play with my kids and their friends. I love all types of games. I play board games, I play MTG, heck I even play a game for a living (I play poker for a living).
I recently spoke with the team manager and some other parents at a practice and this topic came up and I said I don't understand why the kids cannot speak about video games. My son and I know at least a few of his teammates are upset they couldn't name their team the Brite Bombers and are annoyed they can't talk about what they like. Their team manager said it interferes with hockey. My response was I don't see how that could be. I continued with saying as long as they aren't speaking about anything inappropriate then they should feel free to talk to their friends about what ever they wanted. The team manager responded by saying "You're ok with them playing video games on their phone in the dressing rooms and in their hotels instead of bonding with their team?" I responded by saying "No, that's not what I said. I agree they shouldn't be on their phones in the dressing room and isolating themselves from the team. I always take my sons phone away as soon as he gets in the dressing room. What I disagree about is censoring our kids. Listen, they're 10 years old, youre not going to get deep discussion out of them by banning video game talk. Video games is like 90% of what 10 year old kids talk about. Ban playing them but lets not censor them." The other parents and team manager kept saying its bad for the hockey team.
I feel like the disconnect comes from the fact that none of these parents play video games, seem to harbor some hatred for them, and also they come from an older generation. I am in my early 30's while the other parents are early to late 40's. I get along fine with all the parents but it seems crazy to me to censor our kids. I feel many of these parents are taking hockey way too seriously, especially for a house league team.
I talk with the kids about video games and I dont see myself not talking about it with them if it comes up organically. If me and the kids just had a few epic games of Fortnite the night before, yeah I'm gonna talk about it when I see them next game or practice. So AITA or WIBTA if I continue to talk video games with the kids?
​
TL:DR Sons hockey team banned video game discussion, I agree with banning games but not censoring. I discuss and want to continue to discuss video games with my kid and his teammates.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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