id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
mOANMSvto3sPHJudBRSKCFUEi9Dhrvj6
|
b0p8an
|
{
"description": "wanting to move to a different state before having kids",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to move to a different state before having kids?
|
So my fiancé (29M) and I (26F) have been dating for almost eight years. When I was 19 I moved out of my parents’ house on the West Coast of the US where I grew up, to the East Coast to be with him. Since then we have always talked about moving somewhere warmer because even though he grew up out here on the East Coast he says he is also tired of the long, cold winters. I never dealt with seasonal depression growing up since we barely had seasons (temps in the 50s were cold to me before moving here), but it was something I had to struggle to overcome after moving out here. We both ideally would want to move back to my home state because we both love it (he has visited my family out there with me many many times) but the area I grew up in is rather expensive. We have both researched and discussed the possibility of moving to other areas/states as a compromise, as long as they are warmer than where we are now. I absolutely love the beach and the sun and the outdoors and miss it all the time. He has about three more years at his job before he becomes vested with the state which would be smart to do for future retirement purposes. So I figured after he is vested we pack our bags and move like we have always wanted and then we start a family. We have never really been ready for kids up until this point but now he is starting to get baby fever a little I guess. Last night I told him I am hesitant to have kids before we move because I am afraid it would lock us down to stay here long term and we have both said we don’t want that. Having a kid complicates things and I would feel bad putting them into one school system just to pull them out, not to mention it changes the entire financial situation. He got mad at me and said I am withholding my eggs and using it as leverage and that I’m not thinking about a family with him for the right reasons. I’m just afraid I’d still be here with our kids ten years from now looking out the window at a cold winter storm regretting not settling down somewhere I truly love. Am I the asshole for not wanting to start a family without moving first, since it may not be for a few years from now?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
77oy2lP5YnjA1Yta5LPCGtp1Ws3Ns3lO
|
arbhwt
|
{
"description": "resenting my mother for needing financial support",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For resenting my mother for needing financial support?
|
TLDR; My mother (54F) lives in my brother's (29M) house rent free, sits around all day, and refuses to get a job. Recently denied disability. They can't keep paying for her and need help. My wife (31F) and I (32M) are financially stable but are feeling resentful about having to support her.
Throwaway and first time poster here. So here it goes, are we the assholes here?
My mother has been living in my brother's house for the past two years in an in law apartment he had renovated for her. He lets her drive his car and provides a meal a day in groceries. This has him stretched thin but he was making it work.
Up until recently she was receiving disability due to an illness that made it impossible to do the job she was doing. It wasn't remotely enough to support herself but with my brother's help she was making it work. However, after several years of payments, the disability/ retirement board heard her case and she is being cut off. After conferring with her physicians they made the determination that while she isn't able to do her old job, she is certainly well enough to do some kind of less physically demanding job.
This entire time, mother has been increasingly isolating herself in her room which has had a detrimental impact on her mental health (anxiety and depression). Any attempts to get her to engage, volunteer her time or do anything constructive are dismissed. She also refuses to look for a job, instead staying inside to watch TV or post on Facebook all day, every day. She has no plan to obtain a steady income and seems content to live off of my brother's generosity. This has my brother and his long term girlfriend (28F) very frustrated as they don't know how much longer they can handle this. The longer this draws on, the more obvious it is that to avoid her ending up homeless she will require someone to take on the burden of financially supporting her completely.
Now my wife and I are financially stable. We both have good jobs that pay well but we have to work a lot of hours and we work hard for the living we've made for ourselves. We've also come to terms with the fact that we will have to take on some of the financial burden and we understand that it would be unfair of us to expect my brother to take on the burden of supporting her even if he were capable of doing so.
However, we can't help but feel some resentment toward my mother who should be capable of supporting herself. She's only 54 years old and her physical health has gotten better to the point where she absolutely can work again but she chooses not to and is instead hanging onto the notion that she can appeal for more disability payments. Of course we won't let my mother go without a roof over her head but are we the assholes for being frustrated with her over this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
rkFusDmQEkP8Oeov6oqbCTyinuDZDxlC
|
a3u489
|
{
"description": "not taking my septum piercing out",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not taking my septum piercing out?
|
I come from a somewhat conservative household but it’s more my mom than my father. I’m currently 20 years old but at 16, I asked my mother if I could get my septum pierced at 18. She basically mocked me for it and said no (which, to be fair sounds like what most moms would say). I ended up saving Christmas money until 18 to get my septum pierced after my birthday. At first, I hid it from her for a few days but I felt bad so I decided to tell her that I had my septum pierced. She ended up being super mad, telling me that I was a disappointment, etc. Til this day, she complains about how ugly I look with it and how no one will want to be around me. She says anyone who says it looks good is lying to me and that I look like I have no future (I’ve always been in a school and been actively looking for a job since I left my previous one). She also says that I look demonic with it. I’ve never taken it out because it actually makes me feel more confident about my nose. I have always hated my nose and still hate how it looks when I have it flipped up. The piercing makes me forget about that insecurity and I just really love it! I don’t have a very big one, check my post history to see what it looks like. Anyways, am i the asshole for not taking my septum piercing out since my mom hates it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tba9Aiv2LDvMjU1m5X362mQSTb8hWrFD
|
a2jb9m
|
{
"description": "distrusting my roommate in charge of the gas bill",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for distrusting my roommate in charge of the gas bill?
|
Background: I live with two other people. Utilities and gas are charged to the entire apartment instead of each tenant. When I first moved in, someone needed to put the gas bill in their name, and another needed to put the utilities bill in their name (electricity, ac, etc. are separate from gas). Of course the utilities bill is more expensive, and instead of talking about it with all of the roommates, one of my roommates just volunteered me to take the utilities and she took gas. I had to pay $90 to even put the utilities in my name, and the bill has consistently been $70-150 a month (summer was difficult with ac). Gas is typically $5 a month at most for each person.
When I pay for utilities, it takes both of my roommates at least a couple of weeks before paying me back for their parts. I always pay my roommate for gas as soon as she gets the bill. It’s frustrating dropping $100 and not getting 2/3 of the money back until halfway through the next billing period. I’m beginning to get frustrated with my roommates for not pulling their end when I am the one responsible for paying for the most up front.
Anyways, it’s been a good month and utilities were only $50. I asked my roommates for their third as soon as I paid the bill. It has been over three weeks since I asked, and one of my roommates (the one in charge of gas) asked me to give her some time to pay her part because she’s running low on cash. I said it was ok since it was a lot less than it usually is. However, this week, she charged each of us $10 on Venmo for the gas bill. This is twice as much as we usually pay. Mind you, she still hasn’t even paid me for her utilities yet and is already asking for money from me (which even though it’s a higher than usual gas bill, I still owe her less than she owes me). Seeing as our gas bill is usually $5 each and she’s running low on cash and not paying me for utilities, I’m a little suspicious that she might be asking us for more than we actually owe. She hasn’t done anything like that in the past but it still feels sketchy to me and idk what to do.
She also just told me to not worry about paying her for the gas because I had to pay for my dog to go to the vet, but that just struck me as more suspicious. If someone owed me money (and they do), I wouldn’t just let them off the hook unless it really was just chump change — which it obviously isn’t for her. And if she was wanting to do that, then she could have just subtracted the amount I owed on the gas bill from the amount she needs to pay me for utilities. I’m worried she may also be expecting me to waive her bill as well.
So reddit, if I were to question her about the gas bill or ask the see the bill, WIBTA? I don’t want to accuse her of trying to take money from me and my roommate, but if I were to ask I essentially would be. Also, WIBTA for charging her for the full utilities if she waived my fee?
Either way I’d also like some advice on how to deal with the situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tguS8aEh7mXoRdVdniEGjLcVCoExVOxp
|
ar621i
|
{
"description": "not wanting to visit my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to visit my girlfriend?
|
Myself and this girl have been dating for 10 months now. We’ve been distance for the majority of it as she graduated college a year earlier than I did. We now live 6 hours apart and distance is much tougher on her than it is for me. She gets anxious if I don’t let her know what I’m doing. This is mostly if I’m around other girls (mutual friends of ours) throughout my day but it’s fairly rare that I hang out with them. She can not go more than 3 weeks without seeing each other, which until now has been fine. I have a light load of schoolwork so I had been driving up to see her nearly every weekend I had available.
Winter break comes and I go stay with her for the almost the entire duration of the month and a half. Now that my last semester has rolled around, we’re back to the distance thing. This wouldn’t be an issue except for the fact that I run indoor track. Ive run track for about 9 years now and this is my last season I’ll ever run. The season ends soon. I have a meet tomorrow and a meet next week. I’ve repeatedly told her that once track is over I’ll drive to see her as often as I can but while I’m comleting we’ll have to wait.
We’ve been arguing a lot this week because I messed up and hung out with our mutual friend without telling her beforehand (something we’ve fought about before) - to the point where she says if I don’t drive up there tomorrow she has to break up with me. I’ve suggested that she come here instead but she needs me to make the drive to show her that I care.
I don’t know if I’ve lost perspective or not.
I’m lost and maybe left out details but I need other opinions I can’t sleep and my meet/ seeing her is tomorrow depending on what I do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
DmWozBYLRLOPCabnsZdePMyw7NRLtTxF
|
a4rg4c
|
{
"description": "being angry about Christmas plans",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being angry about Christmas plans
|
I come from a big family, my siblings and I are all in our 30s and have partners. Every other year we all celebrate Christmas together by getting together Christmas eve through to Boxing day. I am married and have a 4 year old dog, and a 6 week old baby. My dog is well behaved and has always attended Christmas with no bother.
This year my BIL has decided my dog isn't welcome. I don't the why and cant get a straight answer out of him. He and my sister are hosting, so I understand that if they don't want the dog on the premises that's the end of it. However...
1) they've had him there twice before. It's never been a problem in the past
2) they didn't mention it would be a problem until after all the plans had been made, so we weren't able to make a different plan where the dog wouldn't be in their home
3) we offered not to come, but my parents (who are getting on a bit etc) were so sad I can't do it to them
So today after 2 months of manipulative texts and phone calls etc I gave in and have agreed to take a taxi there and back on Christmas eve dinner and Christmas day lunch.
This means:
1) spending a fortune on taxis
2) waking up early to sort out the dog
3) not having a crib there for the baby so she'll be overtired and screaming
I thought I was ok with it, but its 0230 and I can't sleep because I'm so angry that I'm having to run around to make everyone else comfortable and wont be able to enjoy my first Christmas with my daughter. Am I being an asshole though?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FD49UI3oSwirBV6buw2C1twuJOg01fya
|
ae4pok
|
{
"description": "telling my gf about my mental health / sexual issues",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For telling my gf about my mental health / sexual issues?
|
So for the better part of my life I've had admittedly strange tastes and behaviors. It started off I believe by watching violent movies, and then I drifted into reading comics with a lot of gore, then finally into comics dedicated to extreme torture and internet snuff films.
Basically a snuff film is a video of someone being killed. I mainly watch cartel and isis executions. I spent 4 years in the military and during that time I met others who I was able to share my interests with and sort of explore that part of myself with. I have NEVER translated these feelings into reality. I love animals and children. I just have less empathy for adults and I sometimes find slight humor and interest in watching murders.
This is also affects my sex life. I have several rape/bdsm fantasies. Rape is obviously wrong and id never do it, but I still have these feelings.
Now, my girlfriend of almost a year is a great, wonderful person. She makes me very, very happy. Shes kind, sweet, and is very considerate of others. Shes pretty much the exact opposite of my "real" self. I do love her though, I know that because I get depressed when shes not around and I want to make her happy.
Needless to say she doesn't know that side of me, until recently. We used to have a very active sex life, I enjoy sex a lot and she says she likes my enthusiasm since it makes her feel desired and wanted.
However, recently (the past few months) Ive had trouble performing. Its very hard to maintain an erection without thinking of either rape, or (rarely) violence. She has noticed and has tried to talk with me about it, which both emasculates and enrages me.
She is obviously not at fault. But its frustrating to talk about. Finally, after she tries to bring it up for a fourth time, I blow up at her. Screaming, slamming doors, what have you. I leave the house, and she blows up my phone asking what is wrong and if im okay.
I answer her calls, and shes crying which makes me feel horrible. Finally I come back home, shes still in tears, I apologize and then decide to explain to her what I want.
Shes already sort of submissive in sex, and that was enough once. She thinks I wanted more of that. I then explain that I have a rape fantasy. She goes quiet, not really angry but sort of apprehensive, and starts asking me questions about it. I think shes sort of open to it at first.
Then, like an idiot, I take this opportunity where I can finally talk about that side of myself and start explaining all my other thoughts and activities like watching the snuff videos and torture and stuff.
She goes from understanding to visibly upset again, she starts yelling, says that theres something wrong with me. Shes crying, I try to explain that I would never hurt her or anyone else who wasnt threatening me, that I love her so, so much.
She says she wishes I never even told her. We haven't been intimate and haven't really spoken since. I am so devastated as I really love her so much, shes so kind to me. Shes everything i wish I had in me, just a wonderful person, not awful like me.
I wanted to open up to her and maybe talk about that side of myself and now Ive upset her, possibly traumatizing her and ruining our relationship all because I cant perform sexually and needed to tell her why.
AITA for telling her about my interests?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
KV293LYzezrlfcfOmxJiGW48giwjRm26
|
ac4kx7
|
{
"description": "having sex with my best friends ex",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for having sex with my best friends ex?
|
This is more complicated then the title suggests. My best friend of 6 years broke up with his now ex around 4 months ago. They dated for about 2 and a half years.
They didn’t end on super bad terms he just knew that he didn’t want to be with her anymore. He told me he had fallen out of love with her and really didn’t care about her anymore.
Well after they broke up they were still having sex casually which is stupid in my opinion but hey that’s them. One of the times they were texting he told her he couldn’t mess with her so she instead mentioned me.
He started questioning her and she admitted that she found me “irresistible”. He immediately texted me this when she told him. He basically told me to do whatever I wanted because they’re done.
She’s attractive and I have always thought so. Of course I wouldn’t act on things while they were together but since they’re done I figured why not hit her up.
I need to make this part clear he told me it would be okay if I fucked her and that he didn’t care about her anymore. So I hit her up and we agreed on meeting up just to have sex.
Well about a week ago my best friend and I are out at dinner and his ex comes up in a conversation. I don’t like keeping secrets from him so I told him that his ex and I had sex. He immediately freezes and tells me that I should probably leave. So I left.
After that night we’ve hung out multiple times and things felt really weird. Tonight he told me that he’s angry with me and himself. He told me that he didn’t know that it would hurt him this bad. I feel bad for him and I obviously drift want to hurt him. I love him, he’s as close as a brother to me.
I’m just as messed up about the whole thing as him. His friends are telling him to drop me because “you don’t just fuck your best friends ex”. I’m not going to justify my actions in anyway except purely that he told me that I could sleep with her.
Well have at it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
YG4JDtFhSxCjjE8kMboNi1UV3vpMvOrJ
|
a6zj8j
|
{
"description": "leaving my best friend's bday because of a girl",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for leaving my best friend's bday because of a girl?
|
My best friend made a BBQ for his birthday. I found out the day before that he had invited a girl who he didn't know (only knew her by Discord). He knew her and I had gone on a date, kissed, and that then proceeded to ghost me, which affected me very negatively. When I told him (before the BBQ) that her presence bothered me, he told me that he invited her out of politeness.
So Saturday comes, and I go to the event around 22, this girl arrives around 23.30 and I began feeling really bad; even my other friends told me I suddenly felt disconnected. So around 1am, I decide to leave. I told my best friend that I didn't feel well around her, to what he responded that it made him sad that I was leaving and that he didn't feel it would affect me that much.
I feel like an a-hole, and couldn't sleep properly for the last days. Was I an asshole for leaving early?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
CtjYQAuahUPV1WbfSj8GHwjJhg5UvPzS
|
agszf1
|
{
"description": "wanting to skip my brother's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to skip my brother's wedding?
|
In a nutshell, we have struggled to get along our entire lives and are polar opposites. We live very different lifestyles. I am married with 2 kids, typical poor middle class and have a lot of debt. On the other hand, he is 40, makes six figures and is just now deciding to settle down. He has always been selfish and unable to empathize, while I am selfless and easily put myself in other peoples shoes. We had a falling out about 3 years ago that further strained our already strained relationship. We still don't really talk and when there is family gatherings it is awkward. He lives out of state and is having a "destination" wedding at a lavish resort that is going to cost me and my family over 3k to attend. I am about maxed out on my credit cards due to a paycut I am recovering from a couple years ago and I don't see the need to attend when I can barely afford it especially we don't have a good relationship. My mom would be devastated of I didn't go and it would dedinitely piss some people off. AITA or do I max out my credit cards again for the sake of showing face in front of family?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
PZvFH0WoyaTs43kaJIkLNfoLcbFBHqxt
|
apzojo
|
{
"description": "not messaging my gf for a week",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not messaging my GF for a week.
|
So last summer in August me and a few of my friends decided to go on a little trip, no where big and we didn't leave the country. We booked the trip about 6 months in advance so we could make sure to get off work and have the time for the holiday.
It was a nice resort location with 2 houses for me and my friends on the beach and we got great weather the whole week. The only thing the place was missing was both WiFi and phone reception so I couldn't text or talk to anyone that wasn't there with me. Sometimes my 4G would kick in but it would only be for a few minutes and eventually go away again. It was enough to get a message to my GF saying i wouldn't be able to reply much or talk to her all the time. I didn't actually go the full week without messaging her but I messaged her twice or three times a day except for one where I couldn't get a message to her.
My problem with all of this is that she got really upset when I came home because I wasn't messaging her enough even thought I told her my situation, and it wouldn't be too bad but it's affected our relationship to this day to the point of her getting angry with me for receiving a message from the same friends about booking another trip for this Summer.
AITA in this situation? Let me know
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ik5RNlZIK6GSGDun9M7RUPYgobsKEIXt
|
9w4sv1
|
{
"description": "trying to talk to an acquaintance about assumptions I'd had about them",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to talk to an acquaintance about assumptions I'd had about them?
|
As the title states. I had an acquaintance I've known for years. I've never really gotten along with this person, for many reasons, but always tried to be nice.
This person is VERY peculiar. They don't like being asked 'How are you?' and become very easily upset by little things, such as giving them advice when they ranted about personal problems. Talking to them was like walking on eggshells.
This acquaintance made a post about how they never felt they could talk to people, or the people they talked to fell out of their lives. I contacted them to tell them why I had dropped out of talking to them because, if they had made a post being upset by that kind of thing, I didn't want to be a part of their upset.
So I told them why I had dropped out, because I knew talking about my problems with them may help. I didn't attack them, or accuse them or blame them, just tried to talk. In short, I listed why I felt it was hard to talk to them and how I felt they never really liked talking to me anyway, so I just dropped out, and wanted to give them that explanation and talk about the problem so we could maybe be friends.
On top of that, we had a mutual friend who had been kept from interacting with other friends because of this acquaintance. I mentioned to this friend if they felt that was controlling, and they said no. This friend told the acquaintance what I said.
They acquaintance blew up, and said that I needed to stop assuming things - which I'd understand if I'd accused them, but I really was just trying to tell them how I felt and worry about my other friend- and that they didn't want to be my friend anymore.
We worked it out after I just gave in and admitted I was wrong for trying to talk to them for how I felt, but they said they still weren't interested in being friends, even if I never felt we were more than acquaintances.
Now I just feel stupid and even more like I shouldn't express my feelings, or I'm wrong for feeling them.
Honestly, did I go about it wrong? AITA for trying to tell them the negative things I felt about our 'friendship?' How do you handle this kind of thing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MfTBT6v29vlRZ3PegmKU7IrwY7g3EJF0
|
an0eeb
|
{
"description": "not telling a subordinate that his wife made a pass at me at a corporate party",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For not telling a subordinate that his wife made a pass at me at a corporate party?
|
I am a low level supervisor at a fairly large business that routinely organizes parties for local offices. We had an in office super bowl party complete with drinking and snacks and a massive tv.
Im not a huge sports fan but i showed up anyway. I have twelve people under me and most brought a date. Plus my bosses and ppl from other departments. I went stag as im single.
Anyway since i dont care for football i spend most of my time hanging out by the makeshift bar and snack stand and an employees wife is with me. We hit it off joking about our lack of football knowledge and just generally joke throughout the night.
A couple hours in and we've both had a lot of drinks.
"So you came alone?" She says. I told her this before early on.
"Yes ma'am."
"Not completely alone."
At this point she forcefully grabs my crotch. I am shocked and sort of have a nervous laugh reaction which might have encouraged her as when i put my hand on her wrist to push her away gently she started "groping" me through my pants.
At this point the following exchange happens.
"Haha, whaaaat?" I push her off me in a playfull way.
"Haha sorry." She replies
"Nah its okay I just need to go to the bathroom"
I then walk away and dont speak to her the rest of the party. At least until the end and we're all walking out and shes hammered. She calls me over to her as im walking out and kisses my cheek while putting her phone number in my hand.
I just say bye i had a nice time and i leave.
I have sort of resolved never to speak of this again but im joking with my best friend about it and he says i should tell my subordinate. I dont have any real relationship with my subordinate so it would be awkward. I also think, maybe if I did text her it wouldn't be such a bad thing? Like maybe they have an open relationship? Idk im kinda hung over right now.
What do you guys believe.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
2Rj61oV7NdNHDeppcqPUwAVXp08H200k
|
9tvsri
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my wife for constant worrying",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting upset with my wife for constant worrying?
|
I'm just beyond frustrated at this point with it. I've talked to her about it and she swears she's improving but nothing has changed. For months now I get phone calls where she's freaking out and asking if I'm alright. She calls and ask where I am, that I said I'd be home ages ago, etc. But she does this at 10:20 when I said I'd be home between 10 and 10:30.
She assumes that the worst has happened to me when I get off work so much as 5 minutes late, and is angry I could not send a message. Because I was busy, at work which she know. I call her as soon as I get off as well, and she asks me if I'm okay and if everything's okay and tells me I worried her.
I've already gotten in trouble with my boss (who by the way is never in my store) because other people told him I'm on my phone but it's just me trying to keep her calm because it's been two hours since I asked a question about an account or something. She's freaking out because on my 10 minute break I asked a question, she responded 20 minutes later and my next 10 minute break isn't for another 2-3 hours. She'll text and call asking if we're late or forgot to pay or whatever terrible situation you can imagine with an account. No, we're 2 weeks early but we had extra money so I thought I would pat it early, like I told her 3 nights before.
It's this constant worrying that has me on edge. I can't ask an innocuous question without her freaking out. The perfect example is last night. I asked her what we wanted to do for dinner. She responded by panicking and saying she totally forgot and now she doesn't know what we said and now it's going to be so late for dinner and I'm gonna starve. When, it's an hour before dinner and we never decided anything.
I am getting increasingly frustrated by this. I have consistently communicated to her how frustrating this is. I have said it calmly. I have said it rationally. I have said it simply. I have explained in detail.
And yet, today, another conversation she can't remember about money, a simple question asked. I have stayed calm. I haven't yelled at her. I want to. Oh I want to, but I promised her a year ago I never would and I keep my promise.
TL;DR: wife thinks the worst has happened all the time and I'm angry about it. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fDNjffvDlZHILIyg53t2427tnvBMdqpM
|
am72ll
|
{
"description": "accidentally short paying a poor man",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA I accidentally short payed a poor man
|
This might not sound like a huge deal, but I feel awful. For context, I’m in Colombia with my parents (in grade 11 but doing school online). Anyway, we were going into the metro station and there was a man selling bottled drinks from a cart, which advertised the price of 1500 pesos (just over 50 cents in USD). This was right by the escalator going up to the station. I asked for one and he pulled out and held up a bottle. I said “sí” as it looked the same and handed him 1500 pesos and took the drink. My parents and I then turned and went up the escalator going up to the metro. As we were going up he yelled something to me and pointed to the change. I assumed he meant I didn’t get my change, and thought wow how honest. I waved back to him, meaning “no problem keep the change”. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that I considered, “wait why would he have been giving me change? I gave him the exact price advertised”. I realized that he had given me the much larger size, and I had unknowingly payed him short. I felt absolutely awful, because every peso means so much to someone in poverty here. I have so much money compared to the people here, yet I just accidentally walked off leaving this man with likely no profit. I mean I didn’t know this at the time, but I just feel like such an asshole for realizing it afterwards.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
lhJOwu470ryJvVGj2Z716sKKq84s934i
|
b2ulr2
|
{
"description": "being honest with my gf about not wanting a long distance relationship",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being honest with my gf about not wanting a long distance relationship?
|
My gf has talked about joining the army like her mother since I’ve known her. I think it’s great if she does it and I would be proud of her as a person. I however like my job and wouldn’t leave it. I’m also not interested in a long distance relationship. So if she does join up it would end the relationship.
We were talking about it tonight and she asked me if I could handle being a base wife jokingly. I was honest with her about what I said above and she got angry with me. She says it’s not because I said we would break up, but because we were just casually talking about it and I could have just gone along with it. I’m genuinely confused, I thought being honest about my feelings on it was the best course.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
H0ZNRiAQGkzGgHJxxPbu9RXIKLOPgtRR
|
af2q8h
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help my friend pick stuff up from the store",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to help my friend pick stuff up from the store?
|
About 6 months ago a friend and his wife asked if I wanted to share a place with them, as they were moving back into town. I was looking into getting out of my current living situation so I said yes.
My issue is my friend asks me a lot to get stuff from the store for him. Usually that would be fine every now again, but it seems to happen every week or two. If it was as simple as getting a gallon of milk or something that’s fine. However, usually the requests get on my nerves.
For example: friend was putting together a birthday dinner for his wife. He was freaking himself out and running around like a chicken with his head cut off cleaning and trying to make everything look nice. I got home from a long day at work and he asked me to go to the liquor store and get a bottle of wine. Usually I’d be fine with it, however he was going to be leaving in a moment to go to her favorite restaurant to pick up a to go order, and would’ve passed another liquor store. He wanted me to save him the 10 minutes by spending 20 of mine since I “wasn’t doing anything”. Ended up being a big deal even though he ended up getting the wine and having more than enough time to fix everything.
Another time he asked if I would go out Black Friday morning and buy a TV for him since he was working. He did offer to pay but I made up an excuse as to why I didn’t want to as I hate crowds and was planning on taking advantage of having that morning off since my company was going to be closed.
The most recent was mentioning that I was going to go to sports store to pick up some gun ammo. He asked me to pick up an accessory for him and he’d pay me. I half jokingly asked him to just pick up some ammo for me, since it sounded like he was already planning on going at some point since he needed his ammo. His response was that he didn’t think of it till I mentioned I was going to that store.
Not to mention the numerous times he asks me to pick up items, even when I ask if anyone wants a ride to the store. He will wait for me to get there and then call me with his request.
I’ve brought it up with him before saying I don’t like it, that I’m fine with helping friends out but he asks for favors way more than any one else i know. He said, “yes I do, because you live with me”.
Am I the asshole? My reasoning is that I hate having to bug them for money to pay me back for the items I get. In addition if they have time to get these things, why do they ask me to help out? If they truly had no time I’d totally understand. My position is that simply because I am roommates with them does not mean that I should help them with their errands for their personal items, even if it isn’t that inconvenient for me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gzuN1B5qsGS94gcNlZdc1uZUKbroebgf
|
ar60kv
|
{
"description": "regularly studying in a coffee shop for 3-5 hours",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for regularly studying in a coffee shop for 3-5 hours?
|
I work as an actuary, so I need to spend a ton of time studying for exams. There’s a coffee shop near my office that I like to go to after work, probably 2-4 days per week, where I buy a drink and then sit with my laptop, wearing headphones, working on math problems for the material I’m learning. It’s a pretty big cafe that I’ve never seen at more than 20% capacity, so it’s not like I’m preventing other customers from sitting down, but I still feel awkward sitting there for so long, spending only a couple bucks on a tea. I’ve seen others do the same as me, but I think the fact that I do it so regularly makes me feel like I’m taking advantage of the spot, so I always leave a $5 tip when I leave.
Does the staff or owner there hate me? Am I doing something wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
71YIt6jlggDyaBZKKSqgfMyzZLgq6uNM
|
alruby
|
{
"description": "getting upset that my wife won't try playing video games with me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For getting upset that my wife won't try playing video games with me?
|
Ok, so a little background. My wife and I have been married for just over 7 years. From the day we met, she has known that I enjoy playing video games. I am definitely a casual gamer, but when a game comes out that I enjoy, I usually play it multiple hours a night until I either beat it or get bored of it. We have 3 kids, 2 together, 1 from a previous relationship I had, and I rarely start playing before the kids are in bed. Most of the time this cycle starts, she gets mad at me for staying up late playing the game, and for playing a game instead of going to sleep with her or doing something with her. For our entire relationship, I have tried getting her to just try playing a game with me, just to see if she would enjoy it. If I had to guess I would say she has actually done this less than 10 times, and most times it is only for 30 minutes or so. Everything we do together is based upon what she wants to do. If we watch a movie or show, she approves it. That's not to say I don't always want to watch it as well, but if it is something that she wants to watch and I don't care for, I usually compromise and watch it anyways, never the other way around. And it goes like that for everything we do. And that really doesn't bother me, honestly, video games are the only thing we don't really have in common.
She doesn't understand why it is so important to me and says it isn't fair of me to get upset about it if she really just doesn't like it. I wouldn't say I get upset, just disappointed really. There is a few games that I know she would enjoy, but she just won't put a concerted effort. I tell her a relationship should be built on compromises and sometimes doing things that the other enjoys, even if we don't enjoy it 100%.
​
TL;DR - I love playing video games and want my wife to play with me, she refuses to. AITA for getting upset that she won't?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
u951rSqfdkRLQPnF9gTFlFads69NMhaK
|
aqo1k5
|
{
"description": "watching a movie alone because my girlfriend said she didn't want to watch it",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for watching a movie alone because my girlfriend said she didn't want to watch it?
|
We always watch movies together but one time I wanted to see a film and asked her if she wants to watch it with me. I asked her several times and she never said yes. So I watched it alone and now she is mad. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QFq35xa1ZUFcDhiI45LdD32lEdmns57X
|
9tgh2i
|
{
"description": "eating something in front of my friends in the wrong way",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA when I ate something in front of my friends in the wrong way?
|
It all started when I brought some candy to school because I thought it would be a good idea to bring a snack, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Because the first piece of chocolate I took out was a Kit-Kat so in a hurry to eat it before class starts I bit the chocolate wafer brick in the middle thinking nobody would notice. But all I got were insults and dirty looks from my close friends.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
RstCIKc2LVCUgfkfCtjgoi7d6N9bpRdh
|
aqfysb
| null |
AITA - I called my nephew a future psychopath, I also constantly joked about him being obsessed with fire. Even though I told my little brother not to.
|
**tldr at the bottom**
He's ten, so I never say any of this to his face. It's just that he has mental problems and he has little to no empathy and he's always beating up his little sister (not literally, it's in a ten year old way, steps on her feet, pokes her ribs, etc.). I know it's offensive to call him a little psychopath but he is sometimes. His tantrums are horrible. Really, really horrible, he's throwing punches, scratching, he starts biting himself if it lasts long enough.
He has a new obsession with fires and information on them. Kinda in a cute way, kinda in a 'what is this kid gonna do way'. They had to switch their stove to electric and I thought that was hilarious so; I made a joke about how if there's a fire at his school, I'm reporting him. Most of my family thought it was funny because that's our dynamic.
I've been making one liners about my sister's situation for a while now. Till he heard me make one of them and he talked to me about it. He was really mature about it which was surprising to me. It really showed that his empathy is improving and it may seem simple but it made me think more about it. All of these jokes are at his expense, if he hears them or not. It's still harmful and he's apart of the family too.
Recently I've been restricting what everyone says about him. Especially my little brother which has been causing some problems. He told me not to act like I don't say the same things and that I always act like a savior I'm not, I just don't want anyone making these jokes anymore. It feels like I'm in high school again. It's just that I'm bullying a ten year old instead. Wrong is wrong and I don't think I should have to break it down. Excluding him is really gonna make him our own Julio Gonzalez. I've really been looking into this and family exclusion is very traumatic. My family is completely split by this and I wanted to have other opinions in this. It's been hard for everyone to decide who's right in this.
*tldr, my nephew has a few issues that I use to joke about till I realized it could cause development issues and none of this is his fault*
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
J0VwLG548roZMZ3lGe4s4kTKqjCjA5zD
|
a9scys
|
{
"description": "admitting to my gf that I don't have faith in our 3-year relationship when got asked by her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA (m26) for admitting to my gf (f24) that I don’t have faith in our 3-year relationship when got asked by her?
|
We both acknowledged how sad and scared we would feel when thinking about the worst. I guess we are on the verge of a breakup and just feel really bad thinking of how it’s going to hurt the other person.
Also, we just got back together a few months ago after 3 months of being temporarily single mainly because we couldn’t endure the loneliness.
English is not my first language so please pardon any mistakes I made. Thanks!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cHRmjm0XvJaUgpxRTSGIEXi2EBc45jc7
|
b5yy0d
|
{
"description": "evaluating my relationship after feeling jealous",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for evaluating my relationship after feeling jealous?
|
First I need to provide some context.
Before meeting Monica, she used to date a mutual friend, Paul. Nothing official, just one or two dates but I know a lot of chemistry was going on there because of what she told me. When I met her we used to date, but nothing official as well. I saw other girls and she also had social her social life. Things changed and after almost a year (I can't remember well) she was practically living with me.
​
I stopped seeing other people and I thought she had done the same but we never talked about it. One day we were kissing and noticed a hickey. I asked what it was and she naturally replied that it was Paul. I was angry, but since nothing was official I simply said that I felt that our relationship was serious given the time and circumstances and that I understood that I had no right to demand anything, but I would not go ahead if she saw other people. She agreed and that was it.
​
Now comes the part that bothers me. Two years have passed and today Paul is my coworker and friend. In November he left an abusive relationship and his life and health came down. We did our best to help him. A couple of months ago we were buying new clothes for him. Monica saw a dress and asked if he would date her in that dress. At the moment I said nothing but this left me deeply disappointed, with anger and jealousy. When we got home I talked to her and said I was uncomfortable with her asking Paul if he would date her. She angrily said it was just a conversation, turned around and fell asleep. I do not know if she got angry because I felt jealous, for confronting her or the way I said it, but I did not want to insist.
​
Since then I have noticed that she tries to boost his self-esteem with compliments I have not received in a long time. Almost every day we go to his house as soon as I get home from work and stay up late and she does not seem to want to leave. We do not have time for us because she does not want to.
​
This has made me reevaluate our relationship.
Am I the asshole of being jealous, even though his life is a mess? Was I the asshole for saying I was uncomfortable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
XZfKv3MHAgCYKNhbpptzSUTULNo4HNjh
|
a2rf4f
|
{
"description": "purposely ditching the parents Im supposed to babysit for",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
WIBTA if I purposely ditch the parents im supposed to babysit for?
|
Quick backstory I help babysit for a "friend" since I have free time. They have 3 kids and they are the sweetest sometimes. I've been doing this since August and known them since May. On occasion I would babysit for 2 hours and the parents would stay out for 3 hours. They wouldn't pay me for the extra hour but that didn't bother me at the time. Now it's coming to the point where they say they would be out for 3 hours and not come back for 4-5 hours. When I told them about it they told me they lost track of time. Their lateness has caused me to be late to appointments I had. I missed an important event ( football game lol )
What really got under my skin is when they make comments like "Oh carl you don't have kids or a job it's not like you're missing anything important" or "Carl you have plenty of free time, we hardly get any". They have an event this weekend and I really want to tell them I'm coming but never show up so they miss their event. I've talked to them about their lateness but they keep making snide comments.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
1Khg3naPbwhTbXN4SDheCkjZu5a6TLLe
|
a4xp1w
|
{
"description": "wanting to pick my own Netflix profile icon",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA if I want to pick my own Netflix profile icon?
|
I'll keep this brief because tbh this is ridiculous. I have shared a Netflix account with my best friend for years. He also has his parents on the account. A couple of years ago he got a new girlfriend (who I am not 100% a fan of) who is now also on the account now that they live together. A while ago netflix added more options for profile pics, and I guess the gf just discovered it because she changed everyone's pic to a different gay guy from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
I changed my profile pic back to the generic/default pic I had before. She changed it back to the Queer Eye guy. I messaged her to let her know I would be changing it back and to not change it again, and she said she wanted all five profile pics to match because there were five guys on the show and we had a perfect number. I told her once again I didn't want to participate in thing thing that only she wanted, to which she replied pretty much "Sorry dude, no pay, no say," and told me to "take it up with the billing department" aka my best friend.
Am I the asshole? I think I should be able to have whatever icon I want for my profile, or at the very least I should be able to *not* have it be a gay guy from a dumb makeover show.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
El1JDfYnN9N8FlqIWnzQmbNq8TxWN1GU
|
awfqrg
|
{
"description": "not paying back money spent getting me into rehab",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not paying back money spent getting me into rehab?
|
I admit I’m the world's biggest asshole at the start of this train-wreck.
For reasons, I will skip the part on why I started using drugs.
At the end of it all, after about ten months, I lost my home and all my possessions except those that could fit in my car. My wife had taken my two children, a long airplane ride away to live with her mother. I agreed and was grateful. I could not stop, even for my pleading wife and teary-eyed children.
I lied to everyone and destroyed everyone's trust. I couldn't burn bridges fast enough. I was the brother that phoned and called you a slutty cunt for something from 20 years ago, the bastard that called our mom a fucking bitch for not loving me enough, she was to blame for my addiction. I have since apologized and tried to make things right, but many of those relationships are...very long gone.
About a week before I was evicted, I 'came to' in my living room. I was surrounded by EMT, firemen, and sheriffs. The street in front of our house was packed with police cars and firetrucks and ambulances. I was totally, totally clueless. I was being handcuffed. Apparently, I called 911 something like 50 times in the space of thirty minutes. I was being arrested for 'harassing phone calls to 911' and taken to the local jail.
Monday morning, the sheriff said I had a visitor. Now, I'm from Southern California, and it turns out my buddy from Long Beach hadn't heard from me in a few weeks, so he drove to my place. I wasn’t there. He asked my neighbors if they knew anything, and they told him I was arrested. Long Beach called our friend who lives in New York. He flew out, they met up and came to the jail.
The visitors were New York and Long Beach. They made a deal with the sheriff--if they would take me to a rehab, directly, I would be released.
While waiting for the rehab to open, LB and NY put me up in a hotel but took my wallet, all my socks, my shoes, and my glasses. A few days later, all of us exhausted, I was in county rehab for six months. Rehab was paid by SSDI, (apparently addiction is a disability) meaning it was free.
After rehab, I was living with my family again. Doing OK. Long Beach calls and says I need to reimburse NY and himself. Flights were taken! Hotels rented! Pizza ordered! I have no idea of the amount, but I'm sure it is close to $2,000. I only replied to Long Beach with, "Let me talk with my wife." Now, NY only replies to my texts with direct, short sentences. I didn't ask about money, just thanked him. He's washed his hands of me, and I understand and accept that. LB follows me on Facebook and I don't hear from him.
That's the asshole part.
AITA for not paying them back, and making no movement in that direction? My only excuse is, "I never \*\*asked\*\* you to do this for me, thanks should be enough. I didn't know you were itemizing and planning to bill me."
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
wgJKZA41Y9hXYb5prXSUoRYRL758WlDL
|
aint4a
|
{
"description": "not letting a kid play with my Gameboy Classic",
"pronormative_score": 58,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not letting a kid play with my Gameboy Classic
|
So as a backstory: I'm not living at home anymore so on weekends I usually take the train home, which is a five-hour drive. Every Friday I'm driving with a neighbor and her son (I will be calling him Tom, he's about 8-9 at that time) as they visit their parents/grandparents on the weekend who live in the same town as my parents. I always bring some sort of gaming console with me to play on (DS, PSP, etc.) and always I let her son play on it for a while, which brings us to the situation.
That week I decided to bring my old Gameboy Classic for the first time which is literally my baby. I've got it when I was 14 from my older brother who bought it shortly after it was released and I always made sure that it is in top condition. And I let absolutely no one touch it as it is too valuable for me. So I'm sitting on the train with these two and started playing. After a while, Tom asked me if he could play and already reached for the console. I immediately pulled it away and said in the nicest tone possible: "No sorry Tom. I'd gladly let you play with any other of my consoles but this one is very dear to me and I'm not comfortable with giving it away." Apparently, that had been the wrong thing to say as he said rather loudly: "But I want it!" and tried to rip it out of my hands which made me almost let it fall down.
Me: "I said NO!"
And at that moment his mother butted in: "But you always let him play. And that thing is so old you that shouldn't be so cranky with somebody using it. There are already better things out there than that thing."
I tried to explain to her what value the Gameboy has but she wasn't having any of it and neither did Tom who was starting to throw a temper tantrum.
Mother: "I can't believe that you are so greedy! You always seemed so nice to me but apparently, you are not!"
This was also told me by other passengers who "couldn't believe that I won't share with a kid", that I was "a bad person for keeping this all to myself if I usually shared", etc.
This made me really unsure if I really should have not given him my Gameboy because it is valuable to me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 58,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 58,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ao4q1WvXxNCbM2E410Ltrx0D9euGhfRX
|
ahfcky
|
{
"description": "not wanting to reverse my vasectomy",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to reverse my Vasectomy?
|
Hi Guys!
I have a weird relationship, 12 years, 10 married. Iv'e been a stay at home dad now for 10 years. I used to have a career, wasn't amazing made a livable wage for a 20 something. But it just wasn't enough to pay the bills so after her maternity leave I tried to get a big raise and failed. The wife had a better job anyways and a college education so she was our best bet to make it as a new family.
Fast Forward a couple of years, The kid is 3 years old. My wife and I had been using more conventional forms of birth control, condoms, eventually a IUD which she hated and was painful for her. So we started talking about other options. She is very mindful of her health. Constantly worrying about what hurts that day. She has her moments where she acts like a hypochondriac. But usually ends up not taking the doctors advice. Hormonal Birth control was never an option for her as she is totally against messing with hormones. So the first thing she suggested was that I go and get a vasectomy.
It took a couple of weeks to talk me into it. I talked with a couple friends I still had at the time, they seemed so taken back by the fact that her first idea was to get me fixed. I honestly sorta loved the idea of sex with no possibility of having another kid. At the time I was still coming to terms with my wife not being the motherly type. And not restarting the 18-year devotion clock sounded appealing. (side note. I raised a kid to about 3 1/2 years old with a different girl when I was 19-21. She left and moved back to her moms after she wasn't happy staying home raising the kid. She got on state assistance, state paternity tested me and I found out I wasn't the dad, so I was no stranger to how big of a job raising kids is.) This was our first kid together, she wasn't interested in having anymore, she had a dislike for people that devote themselves to their kids.
SO I go I get snipped. We have tons of fun for years. I continue raising the kiddo. work some shit jobs here and there. Always take care of the house. do all the chores, all the kid work(take her to school, pick her up. make school lunches, doctors appointments)All vehicle maintenance(I was a vehicle tech before I left my career)to the point that we only have ever paid to have alignments and tires installed and balanced(I brought her car back from a cosmetic total when she crashed it, to only have her really total it 2 years later.)
So I like to think that I have done a pretty good job as a stay at home dad.
Lately we have been fighting a lot. And one of the things that seems to keep coming up lately is how she regrets not doing more with our kid in the early years. And that she feels I took those moments from her. I feel like I had no choice. By the time her maternity leave was ending she wanted out of the house, bad. I had come home one night from work, around 7:45pm. I open the door and my kid is in a jumper toy screaming her guts out. Wife is locked in the bedroom, I grab the kid pick her up and hold her. And suddenly my wife busts out of the room, doesn't say anything just leaves, and doesn't come back for an hour. This was when I realized that I had to quit working and just take care of the kid. She didn't want to subject the kid to daycare. Safe to say I thought she just wasn't a raising children sort of person. But lately we run into adorable kids while we are out with our daughter and she gets emotional and regrets her choices. Recently she got really mad at me for not wanting to get vasectomy reversed and that I was ok with not having anymore.
I was like "dude really?"
So what say you reddit? Am I the asshole for not wanting to reverse the vasectomy that I wasn't thrilled about when I initially got it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FP25FEUl5qCpG8rTqkRNnij6uDtlOjpf
|
b1lakv
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share a squat rack with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if i dont want to share a squat rack with my friend?
|
So I come to the gym, I warm up, and I see 1 of 3 squat racks are empty. One of the squat racks is taken up by my friend, so I decided to work out at the squat rack next to him. My friend, we will call him A, goes to the bathroom or something and leaves his stuff at his rack. So just when I start my set, a guy comes up to me and asks
Guy : "Who's stuff is this right here?'
Me : " It's my friends, A."
Guy: " is he squatting as well?"
Me: "I think so"
Guy: "Why don't you guys just work in with each other?"
Me: "He does a lot more weight than I do, so it would be kind of inconvient."
Guy: "All you have to do is change out the weights man"
Guy continues to argue that I should work in with my friend
Now, I would agree with this guy, however my friend is a serious lifter and can squat more than 100 pounds than I can. Additionally, me and friend are at different heights so we would have to constantly change the height of the bar as well. This guys tone was also kind of entitled, as if we were supposed to work in with each other from the beginning. ( I know, a little biased).
At this point, I don't know if this is a normal thing gym people would ask each other to do, but in my 6 months of experience, this is a first for me.
When I tried to talk to A and ask him if this was normal , the guy interrupted me and said: "Yeah that's right, I told him that you guys should share racks. No need to hide it from me, it's not a secret." He would then sit somewhat behind us and just stared at us until a rack opened. Me and my friend just decided to share a rack in order to avoid this guys daggering stares. So, AITA for refusing to share a rack with my friend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
qRPc90BV7oJwrHtouzTLcbJaUFZsOoIo
|
apxfla
|
{
"description": "not wanting to invite my mom to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to invite my mom to my wedding?
|
Hi Reddit,
So let me start by saying that my fiancee and I are engaged, and have been since like mid-November. We're getting set up to have our wedding in July. We just sent out our save-the-dates a couple of weeks ago, and my mother did not make the list of people we've sent these to.
I've had a pretty rocky relationship with my mom for most of my life. When I was growing up I never really has a concept of what it was to be a good mother and what it meant to be selfish and a mother who seems to have dulled motherly instincts. The man I grew up with around was not my biological father, rather a step dad, and I had really only known him to be my dad as my biological parents separated when I was two years old. My step dad was not really a nice guy and often acted out with his anger; nothing too severe that I know of, but when I wouldn't do chores, or talked back, I would often find myself getting whipped with a belt. I also chew my fingernails, for as long as I remember, I still do today. Back then, my parents tried to take action and would buy this weird formula from the store that you could put on your nails that put a horrible taste in your mouth, obviously to deter you from chewing your nails further. My step dad realized this was ineffective to me, I still would bite them, and I still remember him pinning me to the ground and basically dumping the remnants of the bottle into my mouth (though it was somewhat of a struggle so some on my face as well). I'm not sure to what extent my mom knows of these events, but nonetheless, the two of them got divorced when I was 10 I think. Needless to say, it was a pretty scarring event.
I went to go live with my grandparents briefly who snowbird in Phoenix where we lived, while the dust settled and my parents sold the house and my mom got a new living situation set up. During this time my grandparents were going to take me on a road trip to go meet my real dad and my half-sister for the first time that I would remember; I used to live with them when my real parents were still married, but I don't have any memories from that age. I don't remember any event that took place that I wasn't allowed to go with them, but I still remember the hype for that trip vividly... it wasn't until I visited my grandparents over New Year's that I brought it up with my grandma, and I asked her why that trip never happened. She explained that it was because my mom simply didn't trust them to take me. She also pointed out that my mom was selfish and pointed out that the houses we lived in, my mom splurged on nice furniture -- a new living room set, a new master bedroom set, new dining room set, the whole shebang. My room was a bed, a thrift store particle board side table, and a Target TV stand in the closet.
Anyway, I ended up living with my mom and would occasionally spend time at my step-dad's apartment. I think for a time my step-dad and my mom would try to work things out until they couldn't. I just realized one day I hadn't seen him in a while, and I never saw him again.
Things were fine for a while, I had changed schools due to those events numerous times as my mom moved around trying to get settled. I was happy, we went on vacations and I had friends and was comfortable where we were.
My mother then started seeing this guy who quite clearly had bad habits. He would bring over some his friends (whom I remember being homeless, I'm not sure if this is true or not) when my mom wasn't home and drove a shitty old white van and had his hair slicked back and must've been Italian or something, he was a real greaseball. His name was Robert. I never liked him, he occasionally made an effort to get my involved with his handyman business he would try to start up and make jokes and stuff. But I hated him, he was so off-putting and strange.
A breaking point came one day when I was in our office playing Roblox (this was 2007, I was such a pioneer) while I was on the phone with my grandma. I had my own cell phone and was charging it while on the phone, and I heard Robert come home with one of his friends, so I closed and locked the door to the office and kept doing my thing. He then knocked on the door and tried to come in, asking from the other side if I had a phone charger. I said yeah but I was using it, and he then proceeded to try and actually break down the door after I said I wasn't giving it up. I heard banging and yelling and he just couldn't get in, and my grandma was still on the phone and caught on. She was in Idaho at the time and called the local police from where she was at and had a unit dispatched. They showed up and my mom came home early after my grandma contacted her as well. I opened the door once things calmed down and the police arrived and there was a flathead screwdriver sticking out of the door frame like he was trying to break it off and get into the room. He was arrested that night and spent the night in jail obviously for a domestic dispute. I remember another time my mom had me call the police too because he was acting out, presumably because he was high as a kite.
A couple of days later, I woke up early one morning to Robert telling me to pack some stuff up, I was going to live with my grandparents. It was before school time and I remember he brought me to my mom's place of employment to say goodbye (she worked nights as a nursing home). I had never been told I'd be leaving until that morning. It was an emotional temporary goodbye.
A month or so goes by, and I'm attending a new school, and I'm meeting my dad and half-sister for the first time I'd remember. Obviously this got my nerves going a bit. Details here don't matter as much, I just continued my life somewhere new. I didn't keep in touch with my mom for a while, I didn't call or anything as it was sooo touchy. Eventually she decided she would come up to Idaho and start a new life up here. She actually did, and got her a nice house for rent a couple doors down from my grandparents. I was super excited.
And then my mom decided she didn't want to live in Idaho, and moved back to Arizona, and I stayed there while she could set life up. I went back and lived with my grandparents again, and while there, she and Robert got married. That's what I lost touch with her for years.
Life happened and I then lived with my dad and step-sister in Minnesota. I don't remember how but I got her address and wrote letters -- we did this for quite some time. In the letters she said her and Robert had gotten a divorce. I had let go of some of my extreme bitterness when I read this, and she brought up a point that still sticks with me - she said there's no handbook of how to be a good parent. She also explained that she thought it was in my best interest to live with my grandparents, which I couldn't argue. To this day, I can't tell if she was actually meaning what she said, or if she was just being selfish so she could get married to a piece of shit.
We stayed in sparse contact for a long time, and eventually I went down to visit her. I found out she was living with this woman, and while it was never explicitly said, I believe they were romantic. I didn't care really, while she was kinda weird she was nice, and I don't care what you're into, as long as you're happy. I had a good time with them and went back home.
She then separated from her and met this guy named Peter who is in his 80s (my mom is in her 50s) and it's definitely suspiciously like a gold-digger situation. He's nice, albeit weird and has some Puerto Rican values about him which just rub me the wrong way, but whatever. My mom seems truly happy for the first time I've seen her. I visited her once and had the opportunity to meet Peter before I got to know my now fiancee, so I knew what to expect when we went down there. Their house is horribly cluttered, which I believe is Peter's doing -- it's almost on the scale of hoarding. Entire rooms in their house full of boxes and paperwork and irrelevant garbage. I warned my fiancee of this before we visited.
The time we spent with them was a *disaster*. Our relationship was going through some heavy shit at the time and weighed on us the entire time. I failed to communicate with my mom we would be spending a couple nights in a hotel close by since I knew the state of their house and I wanted us to have some privacy, and my mom and her husband went batshit over this, getting offended and didn't understand why we'd want a hotel room when they have a room for us. This room had a tooon of boxes in it, pictures of Peter's ex-wife, all sorts of weird shit.
We then decided to spend most of the time exploring the state. My mom tried to insert herself into my vacation and just wouldn't take no for an answer, she wanted us to leave our rental car at her house the rest of vacation to go to destinations her and Peter wanted to visit (which I was annoyed about mostly because I paid a premium for a Mustang convertible rental -- imagine how much it costs to rent that to a 21 year old!) but we finally communicated to them we would just like to explore by ourselves. When it came to say goodbye, she was bitter we didn't spend more time with them and literally scolded me like a child that I don't call or text her enough -- bear in mind she doesn't make the effort to do these things either. It was an extremely awkward and unpleasant experience for me, let alone at the time for my fiancee. She also made abundantly clear she wanted to be invited to our wedding.
Well, now we're getting married, and I had nothing but sour feelings for my mother. My fiancee has told me she doesn't want me to regret not inviting her but I think the regret of inviting her would greatly outweigh the regret of not doing so. My family does not like her at all and I feel it would ruin their experience. I can see her scolding
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5Uc8RWmySCEmBSqlLQegur2yPeMRS2hu
|
asuw1b
|
{
"description": "entering general partnership with my father",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for entering general partnership with my father?
|
Backstory, Im a 29 Y/O residential, new construction builder and practicing general contractor. I recently entered into a general partnership (I know dumb) with my father (was I dumb?) with the scope of remodeling a house that was purchased for a reasonable price... that could be sold for a reasonable price. Prior to me become a builder, I worked as a carpenter for some 5 odd years; while I went to Uni for business.
From the design phase of this project I knew I was in for a journey when my ideas seemed to be completely disregard, Keep in mind I’m just as equally invested as my father. These unilateral decision made on his part began to fail and overhead costs began to skyrocket in the process...then the ideas that I initially proposed where implemented at extra cost and time...we all know what time is.
My father has always had a short fuse so I have became numb to his brash out lashes. The straw that broke the camels back and ultimately has driven me into disrespecting (am I the asshole?) my father is when I bring up building code requirements that aren’t met that he blatantly disregards and flies off the handle when I grill him for these requirements.I could write a fucking book about this ordeal but I’m going to spare you the details. Am I the asshole for having a deep feeling of resentment, frustration and lack of respect for my pops, possibly always hold this against him,. Or am I just a whiny bitch?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vf49Ab8t4g01bLKFY20OtqzBEm99iYd6
|
al5mjw
|
{
"description": "not paying for a customer's scratches we caused on a vehicle due to it being covered with some snow",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not paying for a customer's scratches we caused on a vehicle due to it being covered with some snow?
|
This happened a few hours ago. I manage and oversee a small car wash chain in the Midwest US. A customer came in with a brand new vehicle covered in snow (clearly left outside the night prior to their carwash), and after going through the wash, came out with ridged scratches (mind you, not scuff marks, which we normally are able to buff out) along the door linings of the vehicle.
When I'm working a site I'm naturally running around all day checking equipment, cleaning the site, tending to customer service needs etc. so I didn't see the vehicle prior to it's wash. Customer approaches me irrate about the scratches and demands we repair the vehicle. I step away after politely asking the customer to give me a few minutes to review the cameras to inspect if either A. the customer had pre-existing scratches on said vehicle or B. had natural elements that could lead to the scratches. After checking all equipment and video, it's obvious that the snow on this car, combined with our equipment, created the scratches.
I told the customer we cannot assume the liability of damages to the vehicle due to the snow on their car. They claim it is our responsibility to completely remove the snow off their vehicle prior to the wash, and that I'm an asshole for not instructing my employees to remove the snow and that we'll be sued for the damages (after telling them that due to the snow/ice covering the car, we cannot claim responsibility for any damages caused from the machines).
Keep in mind, in my state and during the winter season, EVERY vehicle is covered in snow or ice, and we do not remove any pre-existing car parts or natural elements, as the process either takes 15+minutes> per vehicle to fully prep PRIOR to a customer's wash or unless it will damage equipment, we will leave untouched.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BfnponsSKxFNk9PL9HtRbWURmynKpQGm
|
b47u78
|
{
"description": "possibly leading a guy on",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for possibly leading a guy on?
|
Last year, a close friend of mine asked me out and I (16f) rejected him. No bs about wanting to preserve our friendship. I just wasn't interested. It was awkward for a while and we started talking again. Since we were in the same friend group, we couldn't avoid each other. He asked me out again recently and I rejected him again. But this time there was no awkward phase. It seemed like he had gotten used to it. So we were back to being how we were.
Now, I joined a class recently where he has been going for months and is way better than I am. Although our timings aren't the same, I made sure I got the same slot as him so I can take tips and so our commute is joint( he gives me a free ride). He gives me tips and I approach him as well. After that, we grab a bite somewhere and he pays.I feel like I'm using him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
V4UFuyvMSX1f76NnxBajRhV7OsYftXPY
|
adomm2
|
{
"description": "wanting to hire a nanny despite the fact that I'm sahm",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for wanting to hire a nanny despite the fact that I’m SAHM?
|
So for the record I don’t really think I’m an asshole for wanting this but my husband certainly does. Looking for opinions.
We have a 2 year old daughter whos become quite the handful in the past year. I’ve stayed home since she was born and lately I’ve been asking hubby about hiring a part time nanny so I can get a break in the mornings. He refused saying that looking after the child is my only job and it makes no sense for us to hire someone while I don’t bring in any income.
I feel like he’s completely disregarding my needs. Ever since our daughter was born, I’ve felt so trapped indoors and have had little time to even go out to see friends or eat lunch in town, which I used to do semi frequently when I worked part time myself.
My husband works really long hours and won’t come home until 9-10pm so I can’t really ask him for help looking after her either. Financially I think we’re doing ok but my husband is always stressed about finances because we both have a bit of outstanding student debt but we’re chipping it down. So even tho he earns a lot he’s putting most of it towards our debt. While I understand his fears I still feel like this current situation is unsustainable.
The other day I brought up my sisters family and how they have two nannies (one for childcare and one to cook) even tho my sister doesn’t work as well and my husband blew up at me. I’ve never seen him so mad. He said that I have one job and I do it poorly while he’s busting his ass supporting all of us while paying off my debts. He told me if I want to hire a nanny I could just divorce him and find some other chump to support me.
I was upset and cried but he just stormed out and left me and our daughter alone. I don’t know what to do but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
RIGHT
|
K7Xakgu9Vs8F3Ey3jQ2aWugdOWub7eSL
|
9yndac
|
{
"description": "not changing my mindnand being stubborn",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not changing my mindnand being stubborn?
|
Sorry if this is more of a /r/relationships post. To start off, Me and my (ex) girlfriend of a year recently broke up over how I feel our relationship should be. I had felt like I had been putting considerably more effort into the relationship because I had been the only one to make attempts to see her. To give some backstory, I am 19 \[M\] and she is 18\[F\] and we both live with our parents. About once a week or even more I would set aside a day to go over to their house to spend time with her, and sometimes her family. Now dont get me wrong, her family has been absolutely generous and kind to me and ive eaten dinner with them countless times over the past year, but what was bugging me the past month or two was her inability to make attempts to go to my house and spend time to get to know my family. So far i can only think up of about 4 times that she has met my family, 3 of them in parking lots for about 5 minutes of small talk and once at my birthday when i invited her and her brother to come eat out with my family.
​
Her reasoning is that that is just how her family is like, and that they are conservative Catholics and that she is never allowed at a "boys" house. Now i would agree with her... if we hadnt been dating for more than a year. At that point i would think that I would be an exception, mostly because I want her to come and meet my family as much as ive met and loved her family. I just feel as that this relationship has been pretty one sided in the amount of effort i go to see her. Before i had my own car, I would take the public bus just to hang with her at her house and to get to know her family. All i asked was for her to try to convince her or her family to come and get to know my family, as I have been a guest at their house countless times and they have been so kind, and she has been nothing more than just an "acquaintance" to mine. Maybe im over reacting, idk, but all i wouldve wanted was for a little more effort on her part to try to come and see me.
Feel free to ask about any info that you think ive left out, but thats the gist of it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2BMZpAiQrOjcIkF15OKv6iRcVrnDOGY7
|
b8mpit
|
{
"description": "using my former Companies Open-source Code to compete with them",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Using My Former Companies Open-Source Code to Compete With Them?
|
I'll start with this: I'm not under any NDA, non-compete, or other legally-binding agreement that prohibits me from doing what I'm doing. Also, all the software I'm using is open-source, except for the parts I developed in the past few months, and the open-source pieces are really the valuable portions of the software I've developed.
I worked for a software company about ten years ago; during my tenure, they released a lot of their core code as open-source, for reasons I've never understood.
At the time, I pointed out that anyone could use their code to compete with them in the marketplace, but my opinion was ignored. I built a demo and had long, drawn out arguments over e-mail with the leadership but in the end I was told to shut up and color.
I quit and started work for my current company, writing unrelated software. Since I left, my former company has not only maintained their open-source baseline but has actually taken it up a notch and released even more really cool software into the public domain (Apache 2 License).
A few business opportunities came up last year on which my current company wants to compete. I took the open-source code and created an application that works pretty well.
I asked my previous company if they want to partner going forward, but I have not been getting a warm reception. I said that if they don't want to partner, I'd be selling it to everyone (including their competition), and this really made them upset.
​
So, AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
idbcSwAwX07kpiTLnaZQvKTQZ5vHpedY
|
b6o9um
|
{
"description": "calling security on a mall employee",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling security on a mall employee?
|
This happened many years ago, but I still question if I did the right thing.
I worked retail in a mall when I was in my late teens, early twenties. I was in the store alone and was closing up for the night. Luckily, one of the first things I would do was lower the gate before doing the rest of my duties. There wasn’t much space in the back “office” (it was more of a snappy storage room), so I started counting the cash drawer on the counter.
There was a janitor that I would see on a regular basis sweeping the mall. As he would pass my store I would give a friendly smile or a nod or a wave because I’ve always been taught to treat everyone with respect. This one particular evening he passed by earlier than normal. I didn’t think anything of it at first. As I was counting the cash (we were in the busy season so there was more than normal) he came back to the store, but without any tools or equipment.
I would occasionally glance up at him from the corner of my eye and could see he was just standing in the doorway. I continued to try to do my work, but found I was distracted by him being there. He didn’t say anything, and he wasn’t doing anything. He just stood there. He did not speak English and I was barely conversational in Spanish at the time and didn’t know how to ask what he was doing. All I could do was ask if he needed help and he just shook his head no.
At this point (about 15-20 minutes later) I felt extremely uncomfortable. I gathered what was on the counter and took my closing paperwork and went into the back room. I made a makeshift desk from some boxes and completed the deposit bag and paperwork. I opened the door to see he was STILL THERE. I had to take the deposit bag to the bank and put it in the night drop, but didn’t feel comfortable walking out with him there.
Finally, I got up the nerve to call security and explain what was going on. I told them that he wasn’t actually doing anything wrong, but it was making me feel uncomfortable. Within minutes two security guards came to escort him away and one of the guards came back to walk me to my car. I felt both embarrassed and relieved.
The next day I came into work and a few of my coworkers gave me a hard time about calling security. They accused me of being paranoid. They defended him saying “this janitor was just doing his job and you had to get him in trouble!” Seriously?
Though I feel like I did the right thing, it still bothers me. Were they right? Was I being paranoid? Or did I do the right thing in that situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
PnrHM8Z6I44OGRyU3r4jetAhOsVX65no
|
alp1t2
|
{
"description": "keeping guns in my vehicle that were discovered by my nosey coworkers",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 74
}
|
AITA For keeping guns in my vehicle that were discovered by my nosey coworkers?
|
This happened monday, fresh off the weekend and its been annoying me ever since. I am being treated like im in the wrong in this situation so lets see what you guys think.
I drive a 2018 Range Rover with plenty of interior space. As such I keep three guns in my vehicle at all times. I keep a Glock 19 in my glove box, a .38 snubnose in my drivers side door, and a brand new V3 Tac 13 shotgun under the back seat.
I also keep some other weapons and gear under the seats and in the side doors and trunk. I keep these for my own reasons and never bring them inside my office. I live in a metropolitan environment that is not friendly to weapons.
Two workers who I am on good terms with ask me if I would eat lunch with them. I agree. As we're leaving my coworker says he parked on the roof of our parking garage (he arrives late constantly and is unable to park in a desirable spot. This angers me to say the VERY least as he invited me).
They suggest using my Range Rover as it has generous amounts of leg room even with my equipment and is just a nicer vehicle in general.
I agree. One coworker sits in my front passenger seat, the other sits in the back. My coworker compliments my car which I enjoy. However he is very touchy and opens my glove box, revealing my glock 19 as well as my knife, and documents which spill on the floor. I slam the glove box closed and tell him not to touch things in my vehicle.
The ride is mostly silent, until i see my other coworker in the back seat nudge my concealed shotgun with his foot. He also turns his head and looks in my truck and starts asking me about my gear. I keep my camera and emergency roadside tool kit in there, along with some other less than lethal equipment.
He starts asking me about them and i give him the silent treatment for a few minutes before telling him to not look into my trunk.
Lunch was terrible. Overpriced and they couldnt cook a steak properly. As a gesture of good will i pay for said lunch.
Later i was asked by my boss if i am bringing weapons into the workplace, which im not. They ratted me out. The parking garage is building property and all equipment, be it shotgun, revolver, or tazer is locked securely in my Range Rover.
I feel like my privacy was invaded, and that i am not in the wrong here despite being brought aside by my boss. Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 57,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 17,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 74
}
|
WRONG
|
nxbtxP0RkLT8O05pZwSfKF20BZb9REWR
|
9x55zb
|
{
"description": "not letting my friend use my controller for mario kart",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not letting my friend use my controller for mario kart?
|
I usually bring my Nintendo Switch to my school's lunch room to play Mario kart with some of my friends but there is one guy who I give my controller to play and when I get it back it is covered in a mix of slushy and grease. I told him he may use my controller but I do not want anything on it he said I won't get anything on it and he gave it back to me and what do you know it had stuff on it. I am not letting him use it ever again or until he learns some manners about other people's stuff. Am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yMepxa7vCyjIWyQGr32gJw2Itl84CPNs
|
aub14w
|
{
"description": "telling an embarrassing story about my gf",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I told an embarrassing story about my gf?
|
My gf keeps telling her friends everything about our relationship. I had thought there were some limits to this, but word got back to me from my friend who is dating one of her friends that my gf was mocking me about a really embarrassing sexual incident that happened.
I was so humiliated. We have the same group of friends so I have to see these people a lot. I talked to my gf about it, but she really didn’t see what the big deal was. She told me that all women do this, it’s just how they relate to one another. I told her I didn’t care about all women, I wanted our private stuff, especially sexual stuff, to just be between the two of us. She still argued that I was overreacting, but agreed to keep the sexual stuff out of conversations.
Fast forward to about two hours ago. I’m talking to my friend about a minor issue he’s having with his gf. I kept telling him that all he needed to do was just set firm boundaries with her like I did with mine and he gets quiet and starts acting uncomfortable.
I pressed him a little bit about what’s wrong and he tells me that he promised not to say anything and I couldn’t say that I heard it from him, but my gf never stopped making jokes and talking about our sex life. She just told them that I freaked out about it and just swore them to secrecy, but her friend told her bf, my friend.
This is all so high school drama I know, but I really feel like the problem is my gf doesn’t empathize and maybe a dose of embarrassment for her could make her see how all this makes me feel. I have no shortage of embarrassing stories about her.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
Cj0iNUVlEPWblyb43ZLI5i6MjoGQFYtJ
|
b0t9od
|
{
"description": "complaining about my Dad's obnoxiously loud omg soup eating and food chewing",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for complaining about my Dad’s obnoxiously loud omg soup eating and food chewing?
|
My dad chews his food with his mouth open and slurps his soup. The rest of my family gives me shit for complaining about it. He chews like this almost everyday.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
3L5CJPYMnptv6FElw10273yyBx2vQc4e
|
b20nij
|
{
"description": "disliking my boyfriend's female best friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for disliking my boyfriend’s female best friend?
|
TLDR; at end
(1) It begins with my last boyfriend. While I was dating him, she flirted w him in his Insta dms. We broke up, I thought I’d never have a problem with her again. Well, she happens to be close friends with my current bf.
(2)I figure this out about a month in and tell him abt it and he says to try being friends w her. (Him & I actually have an amazing relationship, the one “immature” flaw about us is this girl problem in my opinion.)
So I msg her asking about back then,she says she did in fact like him at the time, but had no idea we were together. I didn’t think abt the fact that he had me all over his Insta back then, so I was like ok ig.
(3) Then one day I noticed an emoji by her name on Snap I hadn’t seen before. “Mutual #1 bffs” my bff of course being my bf. Ntm she has her own on again off again bf and they were together
So I message her with a ss and “how did this happen?” She says “he just sends me memes from time to time, that’s all” and I go “must be a lot of memes huh?” And she goes “lol maybe.”
(4) I show my bf and he sees the attitude too. I ask that they drop their streak& send less memes/posts, not much compared to the fact he had me drop a male friend (who goes to a different highschool) bc he was uncomfortable bc he had mentioned me to one of my bfs friends. Immediately when he asked me I ceased all contact with my friend. it was no problem at all just to make my bf feel comfortable in our relationship
The girl tells my bf it was all just a misunderstanding & He says “I am not one to be controlled” which broke my heart. I wouldn’t turn into the thing that hurt me in before. I brought up the fact that he made me drop my friend and he said he was wrong and let me have that friend back. I’d honestly just rather us both drop our “problematic” friends and move on.
(5)During, I found out from my bf himself he asked this girl out multiple times shortly before I came along and got rejected. So the feelings at least were there.
(6) They still sit at lunch together, are snapping slightly less than him & I,have a whole free period of band together. He has a nickname for her in his snap, She continues to go to my bf instead of her own bf with her problems. Idk why he can’t do what I did for him. He even said “sorry I don’t just drop friends like that”. Which I never asked to begin with.
TLDR;
(1)This girl flirted w my ex bf while I was with him, (2) claims she didn’t know we were together,but did like him,I get a new bf and she’s close w him, (3) notice they’re bffs on snap & ask why when she has her own bf, (4) she has an attitude w me and calls it a misunderstanding, he calls me controlling for me asking them to drop at least their streaks, even tho he made me drop a whole male friend, he says he was wrong and lets me have that friend back, girl continues to be close w my bf, (5) my bf previously had strong feelings for her. Read (6)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
tHfYjVuLsGENYnAumKrqTirT1u9rELWY
|
acyrhb
|
{
"description": "wanting a \"suicidal\" friend out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting a "suicidal" friend out of my life?
|
I've got a friend (D) who I've known for ~15 years and he's the type of guy to get a girlfriend then change his whole life for her. His last relationship was 2 years long and she broke up with him just before Christmas.
During their relationship I rarely saw him, the last time was about May. I'd text him weekly asking if he was free and wanted to hangout. He'd always say “working" or "with gf” so I tried just talking to him and he wouldn't respond after that. Eventually I just gave up, he doesn't want to talk with me so I don't have anything to say to him. At this point I just assumed he didn't want to be friends, a douchy way to do it, but I accepted it.
A mutual friend (H) tells me that they broke up and D isn't handling it well. Then Dec. 24th D sends me a message saying he's feeling suicidal and isn't taking any calls(I don't take suicide well as I've had other situations like this). I freaked out and sent him the biggest paragraph of “don't do it man i love you” stuff, and he didn't read any of it. Then I talked to H, H texted D that he would call the cops if we didn't get a response, so D immediately calls H. After about 5 min H gets him to come over and he starts to feel better after we all talk about it. (H says D isn't suicidal/he won't hurt himself, he just wants the “suffering” to end so he is ok with death. If that makes sense)
H left the state on the 27th and won't be back till summer so D doesn't really have any other friends in town right now. D calls me on new years and says he has a lot of crap on his mind and he'd like to talk, so we meet up and he tells me about this girl he's known for awhile and says she's super religious. He wants to get with her but she won't date anyone who doesn't believe in god. So he tells me that he's going for it. I told him I didn't think that was a good idea but he didn't want to hear it, so he will be changing religions(or faking it) soon just for this girl.
At this point I'm tired of his BS, he calls me his friend still but we don't do things friends do, he only ever talks to me about his problems then doesn't listen to my advice. I'm tired of trying to help him again(I used to be the friend in the group that helped everyone with their problems) and not getting anything, even a "thanks for listening" from him. I think I should just tell him I don't want to be friends anymore, and only talk to me if he really want to be friends again.
Tl;dr: Friend of many years who I haven't seen/talked to in months comes to me with problems and doesn't listen to advice, I'm tired of it and want it/him out of my life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
htag3QVfFAYTz3ucBKf80KAQDH3SiZkP
|
b3h84y
|
{
"description": "not wanting sex as much as my so",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting sex as much as my SO?
|
Of course, long story. I will work to keep it brief. Using a throwaway.
I (26M) am with the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life (26F). We’ve been together for a year now, we just moved in together. It’s been great, I absolutely love and adore her.
That being said, she’s definitely more sexually experienced and wanting it more than I am. I feel like I’m rejecting her subtly and fairly often (maybe 2-3 times a week) while maybe having sex maybe 1-4 times a week. It has nothing to do with her, I think she’s the most beautiful and sexy person I’ve ever met - and I always tell her that. That it’s nothing she does, I just truly feel like I’m out of the phase in my life where I want to bang all the time. I feel bad, because I’ve been in her position, but that relationship was abusive towards me and has left me definitely different. I want to be everything for her, and want to be the man of her dreams, which I think I am. Just in this one section of life, I just can’t match her libido.
That being said, I can feel she’s bummed about it - and she still tries to approach me fairly often but she’s never pressuring me or rude in anyway. She understands (sorta) but I just feel so bad.
AITA for being in my 20’s and having a lower libido than my SO? Whatever judgement it maybe - any advice to work with it. I try to do things that pleases her elsewhere, just sometimes I’m tired or just not into it. Where otherwise, when I’m into it, im fucking into it. It’s like I have no grey zone, just either turned on as fuck or turned completely off. Ugh.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
o78hOnwWJXb6OOP9WYw7DcELGa7jl2ze
|
ant4vx
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my english teacher over video games",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my English teacher over video games?
|
My school has a system where every week, we have one period were you're allowed to go to any teacher's class and do anything, work or not, as long as you abide by that teacher's rules. Of course, some people spend time working, and some spend time cooling off and taking a bit of a rest from the hectic rest of the day, and this time around, my friend group basically decided to take some time off.
We've got a modded Terraria server set up on Google Cloud, and three of us are playing on that, one is playing that online MTG game, one is playing Brawl Stars, and one more person is playing League. Other people all around the room are doing assorted computer tasks, including games. After maybe half of the period finishes, my English teacher comes up and tells us this:
ET: "So I can't even get into Schoology (the system we use for grades, class management, etc), is it possible that you're causing it or taking up all of the bandwidth?"
Now, at this point at the conversation I'm already calling BS because I know how much data is coming/going from the server and it's not a lot (picture attached). If you'd looked at our screens you'd see just a ton of projectiles, but to be honest the server isn't even working that hard.
ME: "Uhh, it might be why. We'll get off if you'd like."
At this point she walks away, probably to go back to working. Then, halfway across the room from us (we were sitting in the furthest corner from her), she says, quite loudly:
ET: "And if you guys don't get off in the next 10 seconds, I think we can all say that you're addicted."
She goes back to her computer and 30 minutes later, as we're walking out as the period ends, I see her filling out grades, guess where? Schoology.
​
And this is the point which I've been thinking about. We're all actually in the process of getting off (and I know for a fact that everyone that was on the server basically exited immediately). I don't think that she had any right to call us all addicted without any proof.
In addition, I know basically for a fact that we were not causing, or at least not the main cause of her site not loading. The other 20 other people in the room were basically all on computers or playing a video game of some kind, save a couple of people. I remember for a fact at least 4 other people playing video games on their phones or computers from where I could see. Other people were using Schoology in the room, so that proves that it was just her computer. We weren't even that loud- we were trying to keep our volumes down.
Finally, I live in a quite well-to-do region of Silicon Valley, and the internet at our schools is spotty outside of classrooms, but it has always been reliable inside, and we've done this in previous free periods without teachers or anyone else in the room complaining, for essentially the entirety of the first semester. The wifi should definitely be able to handle the amount of data coming in/out of the server. It's done it before with no issue.
​
**TL;DR: My English teacher singled out and called my entire friend group addicted to video games over a likely false accusation that we were causing her wifi to slow down. AITA for getting mad at her?**
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KNSES6LPOwgpxBZiFwWyQKqluc1ULSZv
|
b3gvu9
|
{
"description": "getting mad when my wife makes plans for us without talking with me",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad when my wife makes plans for us without talking with me?
|
Over the past 4 months, my wife has started this habit of making plans without talking to me until after the fact. It's gone from volunteering me to do manual labor for her friends to making full blown travel plans for the both of us to go visit her brother three states away. Just the other day, she did it again by making plans with her sisters. These plans include flying all the way to the Gulf of Mexico and having a "get away" for 8 days. She only told me a day later that she had told her sisters she was going. She didn't take into account the cost of the flights, food, and a place to stay.
After the last few months of dealing with this, I decided to express my feelings about it. She, of course, got mad at me for expressing how I felt. She yelled at me and told me to shut up and not talk to her. She made the entire discussion about herself and how terrible I was for feeling the way I did. At this point, I lost my cool and yelled for her to listen for a minute and let me explain why I feel the way I do. (I'm not proud of losing my cool, but I felt backed into a corner.) She then decided to shut me out and told me not to talk to her.
I feel like I can never be upset about anything in this marriage. It's always my fault and i'm always a terrible person when I do try to have a discussion about our issues. I honestly have no clue what to do here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
6eXzHkzBVCUT2ZYAPsgquADEx3h3DNlB
|
b7tbvn
|
{
"description": "asking to use my wife's tootbrush",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for asking to use my wife's tootbrush?
|
Background: Last weekend, my wife [F46] and I [M45] went out of town to attend an significant extended family milestone. As such, we were staying in a hotel.
We arrived at the hotel, checked in and took a nap. At 5:30 p.m. we started getting ready for the dinner which started at 6.
As I was getting ready, I realized I forgot my toothbrush at home. After napping and being in the car all day, I wanted brush my teeth. So, I asked my wife to borrow hers. I told her I'd pick myself up a new one at the store after the dinner as I clearly didn't have time to go and come back at that moment.
She refused and said that it was "gross" to share toothbrushes. I was upset - how was this gross as (1) we are married, (2) have shared other bodily fluids and (3) this was a 1 time thing?
So, reddit, AITA for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
gpqRfEKWYVXdVHisovfRzuxClYGgjJm0
|
b4mljl
|
{
"description": "stopping my friend from using my netflix subscription because he refuses to pay her share",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I stopped my friend from using my netflix subscription because he refuses to pay her share
|
me and my friends decided to share a netflix account. We've agreed that we would divide it between us and since I brought up the idea it would be under my bank card. A month later, i let everyone know a few days before that it was time for them to send their share. Apart from that one friend, everyone else had sent the money to me via bank transfer.
This one friend of mine had set her skype on do not disturb and i can almost swear she reads my messages but does not respond to them. Seems like a common thing for her to do.
We are all paying a small amount each, to use the account. I know its not much but a few of us and myself included are students who are horrible with budgeting. Whilst it's none of my business with what she does with her money. She has a job, lives rent free, goes to college(UK) and plays video games all day.
If she were to respond to my message with something along the lines of "i cant pay im struggling with my finances atm" I would not press this matter any further.
I don't know if I'm being petty buts its not fair that the rest of us pay and she doesn't.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gTzebyGLAfVs5bURKFKmUvJRBC7FrrKW
|
apimcu
|
{
"description": "telling MY CHILDLESS CO WORKER to mind her own business",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA FOR TELLING MY CHILDLESS CO WORKER TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS.
|
Hi. I am a mom of a nine month old boy who I love and cherish but is lactose intolerant. Mu husband and I felt bad because we didnt know until 2 months after all the long nights and crying that his tummy was sensitive. I have a co worker who we will call Jill that is going to school to be a nurse but works full time. Her interest is in pediatrics and was low key mommy shaming me when I was pregnant and after I gave birth that I had no interest in breast feeding my child. Another coworker on a separate team from ours is now in her 2nd trimester with her first child and didnt know what she was going to do as far as breast feeding.
She asked after a joint team meeting for advise and I said I had an instant bottle maker that I use for night feedings that cost a bit but worth every penny because not only does it warm the bottle perfectly but preps the formula almost like a baby Keurig lol. Well Jill cuts in and says I shouldnt be giving her advise because my baby is on formula and what's worse is that I would allow him to be on soy. I looked at her with a shocked face as she tried to say that in a "jokingly matter". I said every woman has a right to choose and that my baby is lactose intolerant. Not that I owed an explanation. She proceeded to say that soy has estrogen that is harmful to baby boys (I talked to my pediatrician about it and he looked at me stupid but assured me this is not the case as I already knew) and that I should have tried to breast feed because he might not of had this problem to begin with. I calmly got my things and walked out the door and turned and said childless women shouldnt have such an opinion until you are put in that situation.
When we got back to our section it was uncomfortable as half the team took my side and the other half were either indifferent or took her side. She later explained I should be more open minded to the research as she is studying to be a nurse and I'm not. I told her that her research is flawed and to leave me alone for the rest of the week as I do not want to cause any more of a scene. It was loud enough for everyone to hear my intent and slightly embarrasse her since she wanted to call me out and try to make me look stupid.
So aita for saying childless women shouldnt have an opinion? Obviously I think anyone has a right to an opinion but I wanted to say that to make her hurt because I know she wants kids one day and hasnt found a partner that shares her goals.as she has told us many times.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
QkFVyYAtrutC5txMA64zVXeLAwyF4XMz
|
aihlqr
|
{
"description": "talking to a girl about her ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for talking to a girl about her ex?
|
So I was at the bar this past weekend when I met a girl from the town next to me. We had some regional sports teams between our high school so I knew quite a few people that she was friends with.
When I mentioned this one I guy I knew her face glowed and she said how they’re close friends and used to date for a little. I see this guy at the gym every day so we talked about him for a little and she texted him from my phone as a joke and FaceTimed him from the bar we me. She told me when they FaceTimed he said he was going to pick her up from the bar (we’ll come back to this).
Me and her ended up hooking up at the bar so I got her number and we texted and stuff the other day. I want to be clear that she emphasized that they were friends now and also barely even mentioned the dating part, because that’s definitely not where the asshole part is. I saw the kid today at the gym and I jokingly said “hey man sorry I got you roped into being a DD” to which he said “no I never picked her up”. Me, being an idiot I guess jokingly texted her saying “wow he told me he never picked you up that’s cold!” She replied saying how he was an asshole all 4 years that they dated and must still be one, and didn’t respond after that (I tried to change the topic instead of focusing on that).
AITA for bringing up her ex? I mean she said they dated but what she told me at the bar and when we texted the other day was a massive deviation from what she said today, and I had no idea that this ride home was that big of a deal (especially since it came up the other day).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
9hDv2Hbizat3VWFe895ZdUXooXof835v
|
alu08d
|
{
"description": "being due on my SIL's wedding date",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being due on my SIL's wedding date?
|
She doesn't know yet, but I suspect it won't go well. Her brother and I have been married for a while and have been trying for some time now. Her and I don't have a good relationship, i suspect she's going to think I did it on purpose (I didn't). Due date is a day before my SIL's wedding. I am worried she's going to blow a gasket because it's her big day. Am I the asshole? How on earth do I navigate this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
8JITjOBGvb76bzehBOortyvwqipvGfde
|
aioiwd
|
{
"description": "having \"expectations\" at a work event",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for having "expectations" at a work event?
|
When my office hosts anything, there is typically breakfast, lunch, snacks, coffee etc. When we got to our Arkansas office, it's very bare bones. They don't even have GUEST MUGS (you're supposed to bring your own mug). At our training yesterday (full day) there was snacks, no water, no coffee. Our lunch was a box lunch from Panera bread with no drinks. I went and expensed my own coke.
When we had a after work social event, it had bad food and no drinks.
All if this shouts a lack of "Class". No effort to make visitors feel welcome. Or am I an entitled MF?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
iMLMKk45pFCWFXEcI0awAo8gUpo8XQ64
|
a2k0yf
|
{
"description": "being pissed at my friend who insisted I should pay for a product he accedentally bought on my account",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being pissed at my friend who insisted I should pay for a product he accedentally bought on my account?
|
So, basically, me and my friend decided to both buy BFV to play together. Since he often borrows my account to play my games, he was accedentally logged into my account when he purchased BFV.
Now, here is the issue: I was planing on buying the game with USD to save ~10 USD in my local currency vs. purchasing in euros by using a VPN. So I tell him to buy the game on his account with USD using a VPN and then I would transfer that amount of money to his bank account.
He insisted that I should pay him the amount he payed for the game on my account, the 10 USD more expensive price. His reasoning being that the product was already in my possession. And he didn't stop arguing until I offered to pay the difference, so I decided to pay 5 USD more to end the situation.
Then he couldn't figure out how to buy it using USD on his account, so he wanted to just but it using euros. As I was pretty frustrated at that point, I caved and agreed to it as I was very tired of the conversation.
So, AITA for being pissed about him insisting I pay the amount he accedentally payed on my account? Is his reasoning valid?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4f5nmC9632DBRLoRRBtQOIpInNmWMXrB
|
axcjs9
|
{
"description": "changing the wifi password",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for changing the wifi password
|
I have a less than great roommate situation. He doesn't help pay the internet bill, and is short on rent again. I changed the wifi password after paying the entire bill myself. Am I the asshole for doing this? I mean, the internet is in my name and I paid the full bill when he didn't pay me.
Part of me feels like an asshole, but I feel like of it isn't laid for, he shouldn't get to use it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
z2mIC2QoJqyWtjO8a2irUW1UqUeED1wE
|
b2ea0w
|
{
"description": "confronting my friend for not responding to my text",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for confronting my friend for not responding to my text?
|
I texted my friend because I had a fight with my dad and I wanted to talk to someone about it. She was on vacation at the time so I didn't expect her to respond to me immediately, or to respond in depth. I wouldn't have bothered her while she was on vacation normally but I just felt really upset after that fight and wanted to talk with someone. I was kind of hoping for a "Oh, that sucks, but I'm here for you" type of text. I didn't expect her to drop her whole vacation and be my counselor or anything.
She didn't respond to me or text me at all for a few days, then she started texting me again, but it was as though she didn't even get my texts. She started talking about college admissions and didn't even acknowledge that she at least read the texts I sent her.
I explained to her that when she ignored my texts I felt hurt but she hasn't responded to that either, and I'm wondering if she just didn't get my texts at all in the first place (she was in another country) and I'm upset over nothing, or I should have just let this whole thing slide and I'm a petty person.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
6W2rMjY0OoPcN77yFSHKIR37VRZRsEkv
|
aeageq
|
{
"description": "not making exceptions for my friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not making exceptions for my friend?
|
Throwaway because they know my reddit.
I'll try to keep this short. Basically I have a friend, who I've known for a few years, that is serially unreliable. He's constantly late to things, he tends to cancel plans at the last minute, changes plans last minute, etc.
Usually I put up with this because I attribute it to him mostly just being irresponsible instead of malicious. So I'll move plans around for him or hold off the group from leaving, that kind of thing.
Well a few days ago we had made plans to meet up for drinks, just me and him. I moved my work schedule and everything because I usually work nights. And he cancels two hours ahead of time because "he had to head home early" (we live an hour apart and usually meet in the middle).
And I just kinda snapped. Told him "okay" and for the few times we've had plans with mutual friends since I tell him times and places and don't send my usual "reminder" texts and facebook messages anymore. He confronted me about this and I just said I was sick of making exceptions for him and he needs to stop acting like a child and show up to things on time and as planned.
He told me I was overreacting for the other night, I told him maybe but it's not like I'm cutting him out of my life or anything. He stopped responding.
I kind of feel bad, but I'm just so sick of making exceptions when it comes to plans for him. AITA?
Okay, I guess that wasn't short.
***TL;DR***
Friend tends to cancel plans last minute, be constantly late, etc. After one arranged meet up where he canceled last minute I've stopped putting in the extra effort to include him in things, and just give him "time, date, be there or don't" messages. He says I'm overreacting. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
j5Io61jOmnQdB5zz7KfCVK7Ge5wD3znB
|
audbs1
|
{
"description": "shouting at my uncle threatening to call the cops because of the way his kids treated my cat",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for shouting at my uncle threatening to call the cops because of the way his kids treated my cat?
|
Yesterday I got into a shouting match with my uncle when he and his kids were at my apartment to pick up computer parts.
For some background info, my uncle's family has a cat too and they basically treat it like an action figure. They got it declawed because it kept scratching the kids, and then took it back to get declawed again on its back legs since it had started kick scratching them. I've seen the kids literally pull it out from under the couch by its tail when they want to play with it because it hides from them whenever they come into the room.
Because of this, I told them that if they visit my apartment they aren't allowed to interact with my cat in any way, and I made sure to put her in a carrier just in case. As soon as they get there the kids immediately run over and start shaking the carrier, and I got mad and told them to leave. My uncle argued with me until I was shouting and threatening to call the cops before he agreed to leave, and I told them they would have to pick up the computer parts from my parents because they aren't allowed in my apartment ever again.
After this both of my parents and my grandma left angry messages on my phone telling me that I needed to apologize to them for the way I acted, because that is no way to treat family. I don't want to because I think they were being cruel to my cat after I made them specifically agree not to and now everyone is on my case about "breaking up the family over a cat" since my uncle doesn't want to talk to my parents until they get me under control. Am I in the wrong here? I honestly feel justified but literally no one is taking my side so I am questioning whether I was too forceful.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
c1CZ3b6gbpAfQYOzJT1mumsVhT0BSmOg
|
ap2gy0
|
{
"description": "being vocal about my friend treating my other friend wrong",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being vocal about my friend treating my other friend wrong?
|
Let's say friend who did wrong was A. And other friend was B.
It was B's b-day party and all they wanted to do was play board games and watch a movie. We were at a place where they didn't sell alcohol and A with another person said they're going for a smoke. We waited, with the game ready to play for 40 mins. We later on found out that A in fact went to a bar to get drinks.
Later on A also left the party to get food, again, taking some more people with them, while B and I and few others were ready to play games. At this point we decided to play games anyway. A was basically not there 80% of the time.
Few days later i talked to A because this was not like them at all. I told them it was a shitty thing to do to a friend.
A said "yeah but I had stuff going on, you know. I wanted to get drunk to forget. I didn't want to be there anyway."
I told A that personal problems are not an excuse to treat your friend like s@!t. That they should own up to their mistake. I really didn't like how they made the issue about themselves, again. Getting defensive and bringing their own problems forward, as an excuse for bad behaviour.
A then said something along the lines of "this is not your problem, it's between me and B. I apologized to them anyway and we're good. Why the f@#k do you care. Stop putting salt on my wounds. Leave me alone."
I genuinely just wanted to see some sort of remorse for what A did because I didn't want to believe they would care so little about their friend. Because maybe one day I'll be treated the same.
Am I the a-hole here for criticizing A? Especially because A was not going through the best time in their life at the time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IltXXCQJnmSij2pJy26R2lt31pHm89Jz
|
ar6mvx
|
{
"description": "not properly checking on a classmate after a night of drinking",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not properly checking on a classmate after a night of drinking
|
I met this girl in college about a week ago and we got along pretty well, we went out drinking last night with about 10 others in our class. I went home first and messaged her when I got home in our group chat since she told me to tell her when I got home (I had quite a few drinks). When I messaged her she told me she and another friend were bussing home together and I told her to shoot me a message when she got home except she never read the message so didn’t reply. I didn’t feel the need to check on her at that time because 1. She didn’t see my message in the first place so it made sense that she didn’t reply 2. I dont have any method of contacting her other than Facebook 3. The friend she was with got home ok so I just assumed she did too since they went home together
We had class this morning and she was being cold and I have no idea why. I asked a guy from our chat and he said it’s probably because I didn’t make sure she went home ok even though she didn’t reply
I’m not even sure if this is the reason she was cold but after what he said I feel really bad. It just never occurred to me to find another way to check on her for the reasons I listed earlier
So AITA for not finding a way to check on her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
oKxOchEMZXpS0qhOmqb084HNHheRaNkq
|
aytatz
|
{
"description": "breaking up one of my girlfriends friendships for being blamed for soenthing I didn't do",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking up one of my girlfriends friendships for being blamed for soenthing I didn't do
|
My girlfriends friend, I will call her des, and my girlfriend (will call gf) kind of had a falling out recently and my gf kind of keeps bringing up that it is my fault (which it is partially but we will get into that).
Before we get into this I want to discuss a little about des. Des is a student that dropped out of nursing into healthcare aid because she was failing her courses and then proceeded to fail her healthcare aid courses, yet she posts all over social media about how hard the nurse life is and how being a nurse just takes up all her time. Des also happened to be what some refer to as a tinderella where she was almost always talking to 4+ people on tinder and went out on tinder dates 3+ times per week. By time all of this started she had settled down and started dating a guy but just recently started the relationship (also had a string of crazy exes). It also wasn't uncommon for her to break off any and all friendships she had with people for months before turning back and trying to rekindle friendships, her and my gf had readded eachother on Facebook 8 times in the past 3 years. Now, everytime my gf would go to hang out with des she would come home upset and usually spend the first few hours crying because of how horrible des made her feel about things. Des would constantly belittle my gf about being an honours university student and say how she doesn't understand life because she has never worked a real job (note that gf is working while in school). Des also absolutely hates me and has ever since she met me. Now, a couple of months ago des had added me in Facebook and me being me I sometimes post certain controversial things on my Facebook (like posts about how safe injection sites are a good thing, or anything to do with politics, or how I agree with gun regulations. Note I live in Canada and not America). Des was getting super upset and at first requested I don't share these things on Facebook because they were untrue (a "nurse" that disagrees with the benefits of safe injection sites from a healthcare perspective is scary) so me being me, a condescending a-hole I took it further. I posted an article that discussed healthcare cuts made by the previous government that she so openly supported, and I tagged her in it. This went on for about a week, then something happened, someone posted on an anonymous app (called whisper) posing as her asking people to send her dick picks (note that I didn't even have her number let alone whisper). I Immedietly get messages from her, her boyfriend, my girlfriend, and others about posting that. I blow up at her and say I didn't even have her number let alone whisper (which I even offered to let her go through my phone, android, which keeps a history of apps downloaded and everything). She kept calling me an asshole and telling my gf to break up with me for what I did. So in response of this I blew up at her, told her how horrible of a friend she is and more.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
qkA3qdMzwj54Gu8br0sDCb3kV07axtZe
|
9vhzu3
|
{
"description": "taking all of my things when moving out",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I took all of my things when moving out?
|
My roommate is a friend of mine who I have been living with for about 7 months. It’s been a little rocky over the past few months. Nothing major, but she’s loud (answers all phone calls on speaker, turns tv up all the way even when she knows I’m trying to sleep and can hear it, etc) and doesn’t really respect my space or things (goes in my room without asking and moves my things) despite me repeatedly asking her not to touch my stuff and it’s just really driving me nuts. Her boyfriend is moving in town soon, so we talked about it and decided to have him take over my lease and I’ll be moving into my girlfriends place. This is fine, but I own the majority of the things in our common spaces, like the tv, various shelves, dishes, lamps, etc, and she’s mentioned letting her borrow them after I move out because I won’t need them at my new place. This is somewhat true. I won’t need them at the place I’m moving into, but could still use them and will definitely need them at future places, or I could sell them. I mentioned that she could buy some of it from me if she wants and she kind of scoffed at that. I really appreciate her friendship even though we weren’t great roommates, but don’t want to leave my things in her possession because they could get ruined or never returned. I’m worried she’ll be angry with me if I don’t leave some things. So, would I be the asshole if I moved all of my things when I leave?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0WckWHzyDVpPtddVvu4x60Bbb3aUHlSZ
|
a9drdp
|
{
"description": "hating having my family hug, kiss or touch me",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I hate having my family hug, kiss or touch me.
|
Ever since I was little I have always hated being touched by family member and about just anyone. I like to reciprocate feelings when I want. It’s the holidays now and my whole family is mad I didn’t hug them nor did I let them kiss my cheek. My mom specially gets mad about it saying I’m ungrateful. I feel uncomfortable being touched and I’ve told her that many times but everyone in my family takes that in a personal way. How can I make this better? Am I an asshole for wanting no touching?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DGSBEKu5OmpH1UK5EalooqnetRJySaat
|
b7j03p
|
{
"description": "trying to suggest on /r/casualuk that someone looks like Barry from eastenders",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for trying to suggest on /r/CasualUK that someone looks like Barry from Eastenders?
|
I thought it was a light-hearted post.
I did not express \*any\* political opinion.
I've instead now posted to [/r/unitedkingdom](https://www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdom) so you can see what I mean:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdom/comments/b7hfbc/why\_is\_barry\_from\_eastenders\_sat\_behind\_oliver/](https://www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdom/comments/b7hfbc/why_is_barry_from_eastenders_sat_behind_oliver/)
So, I know [/r/CasualUK](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK) don't like political posts, but I didn't think my post was political.
When I politely asked why I had been banned for saying someone looked like Barry from Eastenders, I got an expletive-laden reply:
"No mate. For the politician IN FRONT of Barry from Eastenders for fucks sake. IN THE HOUSE OF FUCKING COMMONS.
Fuck me, read our rules pal."
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
EDWXyDy8jWXMj03mvFWNc6pP3tgx9AGg
|
b93x0e
|
{
"description": "telling the counselor",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told the counselor?
|
Blah blah first time poster, mobile, yeah.
[School]
Backstory:
The one in question (Not me, who will be referred to as Other) :
Other is the sort of type that makes trouble, yelling things like "d^#^," "f$>$&%," etc. From what I personally see, nothing agressive, just kind of sketchy things. (Yes, they get detentions a lot, which includes today.)
Me:
Small friend group, probably annoying, smart (no flex, in Algebra early) goody-two-shoes.
Not really the person paid attention to unless it's my friends or I'm being weird.
So Other has kind of been my enemy, provoking me on purpose and all. Calls me "my lover" as either an insult or joke (Both male), puts his arm around my shoulder, pats me on the head, other small jokes. Also gets r e a l l y on my case even though we are only in a few classes together.
My friends get on my case about ignoring him too, kind of in a for-fun-mocking way. It's kind of funny, but sometimes they sound a *bit* serious. At most it was asking me why I hate them, but still.
People are still friends with him, because he does do some funny stuff (Not really involving what they do to me, from what I can see.)
I did ask them a lot of times already throughout the year to stop, warning and threatening to tell the counselor. However, I never felt justified, even after it can be legally (though not sure if ethically) classified as harassment.
So who is the asshole here? Am I being too sensitive? Are they going too far?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
rl3qh3mFJrGnZsz1wn3Gjig0K0Q8afPp
|
b0al3k
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut ties with this guy",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut ties with this guy?
|
So pretty much the school is forcing us to be friends
Backstory: me and my friends made a team for the “low” people pretty much people who don’t get the respect they deserve and this team is only allowing people with manned and those who do not swear but when you keep making a lot of annoying things then you are going to get a ban you can come back if you stop harassing us
Ok now he was in the team for 2 years but in the 2nd year when we had a new member he just burned all of his manners and kept making fun of him and harassing us when we ban him because he keeps making US problems.
So one time my friend brought an accessory it held his hair up and it looked cool but Y (that’s the forces friend) made fun of him for wearing it he just had it and just flat out refused to talk to him then he started talking about he wanted to go to the gym I then told him
“IS THIS REALLY THE TIME?!”
He said “yeah”
Then after a bit when my friend was playing soccer he got hit in the face while he was a goalkeeper his glasses broke and the glasses hurt his nose and made him bleed
M (the accessory friend) went to get a teacher sadly he couldn’t find a teacher because they had a lot of work
Y: “really you can’t even bring a teacher you’re so useless”
I was taken aback by this but then me and M said we should ban Y he agreed so went to him this is how it went
Me and M: “you keep making fun of him/me and saying that he is useless that really hurt him you continued after he told you to stop you still made those comments so you’re banned”
Y: “HE IS THE ONE WHO BROUGHT AN ACCESSORY THAT MAKES LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT AND YOU BOTH ARE USELESS YOU CANT EVEN GET A TEACHER!”
Me: “YOU ARE STILL INSULTING HIM? SERIOUSLY YOU ARE THE IDIOT”
Y: “HE SHOULD MAN UP AND BE MORE OF A PERSON INSTEAD IF GETTING MAD BECAUSE OF WORDS U HOPE YOU BOTH DIE IN A FIRE”
M: “SERIOUSLY PRAYING THAT WE DIE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”
Y: “YOU BOTH ARE DOGS GO DIE”
Then we talked to 1st teacher she said she couldn’t do anything in her position we understood then we talked to the 2nd teacher she said if we don’t become friends we will get a slip to the principal. I felt bad so I became his friend again but don’t talk to him too much.
Am I the atagonist?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
r6ASLidDWZ0347p8EAcaJv7Yd3xa2fdp
|
au22u9
|
{
"description": "freaking out at someone for not paying us when we helped them move",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for freaking out at someone for not paying us when we helped them move?
|
I’ll keep this short. I wouldn’t call this person and their family a friend to me but they are friends with my family. Hope that makes sense. Anyway they recently bought a house and needed help moving. Me, my brother and two of our friends should have said no when they weren’t even packed! But they said they would pay us for the inconvenience. Fast forward 5 hours later we had them all moved in. We had to lift crap up their awkward stairs, put together beds, etc. They had the heart to feed us ham sandwiches with old bread during lunch.
I thought we would be paid $60 to $80 each. I’m lowballing myself but that was a ton of labor. Nope! They pulled a fast one on us and tried to pay my friends $20. Me and my brother were about to get nothing. Their reasoning for not paying me and my brother was they let us use their community pool for a summer when the guest membership is usually $100. I lost my shit and freaked out on them. I called them scum for lying to us. I called them cheap ass bastards as well. I was so angry I started to put some boxes back on the moving truck. I told them karma is a bitch before his wife told us to leave or she would call the police.
I know there were much better ways to handle a situation like that but I lost my cool. I was sore, hungry and tired. I embarrassed myself and my family because I freaked out in the garage which was open.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
Njne6ucA4MuZ6SJwiCZp0IKjfI2bAjPx
|
a10tho
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my dad for touching my back",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my dad for touching my back
|
I used to be completely fine with a pat on the back or a hug, but in the past 2-3 years I just started hating it. It's gotten to the point where I cringe away from almost anyone (with a few exceptions like my ex-girlfriend while we were together or my doctor). It's not great and I should probably get therapy for it, but it's not that big of a deal and I can fake it when I need to. Until about a year ago I would just deal with my discomfort with my family, but I eventually told them that I dont like being touched.
Jump to this Thanksgiving I see my parents for the first time since early October (I go to college on the other side of the country) and my parents hug me, which I have no problem with, but throughout the visit my dad continued to pat me on the back, stretch his arm across my shoulder, etc. In the end I got so annoyed that a rose my voice with him. He looked really offended and now I feel really guilty. So WITA for yelling at my dad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
OSxaavLALD4AakOliq6jRr8qhMYpQ2vW
|
a1f0eo
|
{
"description": "saying that a mildly offensive joke is basically harmless",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for saying that a mildly offensive joke is basically harmless?
|
I present to you one of the strangest interactions I have ever had on this site. Over at r/banned, someone recounts a story of being banned from r/aww for making an offensive joke. The joke was mildly funny, at best. Another user comes along and basically accuses the joke-poster of being a bully. I pointed out that the fact that your actions might not be appreciated doesn't *necessarily* make them malicious, and that in this case, no harm was done. User replies that I'm defending abuse and that offensive jokes always cause harm, and asks why am I saying that it's okay to hurt people. And on, and on, and now the user is calling *me* an abuser because I might occasionally swear in my mother's company even though she would prefer that I didn't.
https://www.reddit.com/r/banned/comments/a096g3/raww_i_couldnt_miss_the_opportunity_to_comment/eag5knb/
Am I the abuser? lol.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
chm9c2DBC9kzTkt4qNVRpgfI8sDGq4SC
|
ah28ri
|
{
"description": "yelling at a guy who was texting while driving through a YMCA parking lot",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at a guy who was texting while driving through a YMCA parking lot?
|
I was loading my kids up into my van when this guy drove by, staring down at his phone, barely glancing up at all. I finished securing my kids and left them with my SO and ran after the guy (who was still looking down) yelling, "Get off your phone, moron!" I stood there, yelling at him, waiting for him to notice me. I was right behind his back bumper, and he was stopped at the exit of the parking lot, just still staring down at his phone and ignoring me. It took him a good while to finally look up and around to see who was yelling, and he still didn't see me. Didn't bother to look in his rearview mirror. As soon as he saw that I was yelling at him, I walked away. I was furious and just wanted to make my point - he was driving through a parking lot with KIDS in it with his head buried in his phone. I know I caused a scene and any normal person wouldn't have yelled their head off, but I wanted to make sure that he knew that what he was doing was not okay. Am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
T0wK4eWdVBGELTN9bCx16IhubrsKnsTc
|
atekei
|
{
"description": "not wanting to see my dad or ask him for money",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to see my dad or ask him for money?
|
So to start off, my parents divorced when I was two and I was put in the care of my grandparents from my dad’s side. Growing up, I’ve come to realized that my father had always lived off of my grandparents well into his 40’s.
He met my stepmom back in 2008 and remarried around that time. I lived with them for a while. They were both working and we were financially stable. When I was about 13, I moved in with my mom and stepdad. I was able to see my father every weekend and holiday. Until last summer 2018 I had my first internship at 16 and my father was opposed to it because I wasn’t seeing him as often. My summer weekdays would be at work and weekends at his house. I emphasized how important it was to me and how it could help me for college. He didn’t care and refused to drop me back to my mom’s house when my first day of work was the following Monday. My mom was extremely frustrated with my father so she did not let me see him ever since. But I do face-time him occasionally.
When my dad and stepmom divorced in 2016 my dad was forced to move out of his house and lived with my grandparents for a while. He hasn’t gotten back on his feet ever since. My grandparents went back to Asia for retirement and sold the family business and house. My dad then had to move out of that house and is currently renting a small room. I spoke to him and he hasn’t been eating proper meals because he can’t cook in that house and my stepmom filled for child support for my half brother. My mom has gotten over what happened last summer so I could see my dad over weekends again if I wanted to but she doesn’t think I should stay over considering the living situation. I agree with her.
Overall, my father is not financially stable (he should and could be but I think he his spending his money on other matters...) regardless, If i go back to see him I won’t have a place to stay. I could stay over at my step mother’s place but I’m not comfortable with the living situation.
Adding on to that, I’m a senior in high school and there are numerous finances that need to be taken care of. My mom has helped me with most of my expenses, my internship check from last has covered some of what I need but there are still some concerns regarding college and other senior dues. I asked my mom for help, although she is willing to help pay for me, she was mad at me for not asking my dad for help. She told me it was unfair that she has to cover so many of my expenses whereas my father hasn’t acted like a father towards me since... well quite a while. She says the least he could do for me is help pay for some of the expenses. However, I just feel so bad for my father because of his financial situation and instability. (Take note that he did put himself that situation for reasons I’m too ashamed to name)
So, AITA for not wanting stay with my dad over weekends again & feeling bad for asking him to help me cover some finances considering his situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
j5B293LHyQ97X8TsgctnpqRvZRTEmYp2
|
9tps75
|
{
"description": "blowing up my friends minecraft creation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 22
}
|
AITA for blowing up my friends minecraft creation?
|
my friend made a roller coaster and i put tnt below him while he was building it and then lit it up and he hasnt spoken to me in a week
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 22
}
|
WRONG
|
QGMqJzNpwRkC3zadM75EGBxqvnAnGgRQ
|
ad4va4
|
{
"description": "refusing to accept the pronouns of someone after they told me I should be raped",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
aita for refusing to accept the pronouns of someone after they told me I should be raped.
|
(they are non binary so use they them pronouns)
so I got a messgae today from a random insta account telling me I could make some improvements to my page.
I asked them what improvements, and they said that I should take the pro guns and mra off my bio. (please don't call me a asshole for my vews it's not the point of the post)
I said no and all hell broke loose, they then told me after a few more exchanges and a message where I said that I did not mind trump that much. that I deserved to be raped.
that's when I started referring to them as a she in all my messages and they got pretty pissed and i was blocked a few minutes after.
aita for doing it or not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
nO2wePbTIRhonk9xqpVVZTZSwvzuF3Ja
|
aoodas
|
{
"description": "not purposely ignoring my boyfriend after he had a bad day",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not purposely ignoring my boyfriend after he had a bad day?
|
My boyfriend and I are in college. Today, he was expecting to get his math test back. He knew he didn’t do very well on it and was nervous about it. We had been texting all morning waiting for him to get his grade. I tried to be encouraging and let him know that even if he did do bad on the test, everything would be okay.
While I was waiting for him to text me his test score, I was at the bus stop to head back to my apartment after class. I randomly ran into a good friend of mine, who is a guy (this will be relevant in just a minute.) My friend lives in the apartment complex next to mine, so we hopped on the bus together to head that way. We were having a conversation about spring break when my boyfriend texted me. I opened the text and it was a decent size paragraph about how he finally got his test grade back and how he didn’t do well and was upset about it.
I didn’t reply back immediately because my friend was in the middle of trying to show me something on his phone. My friend and I continued conversing until we reached our apartments. This had been about 10-15 minutes max since I had opened my boyfriends text message.
As soon as I got back to my apartment, I texted my boyfriend this
“Hey babe, sorry for leaving you on read. I ran into (friends name) at the bus stop and we rode the bus back and were in the middle of a conversation when I got your text. I’m really sorry you didn’t do as well as you had hoped on your test, but don’t let that bring you down babe. Just do your very best on the next tests and hopefully it will be okay!”
He responded back
“No one wants to hear from the SO that they left you on read because they were with another guy right after you told them you failed a test you were worried about”
I apologized to him again and told him i wasn’t ignoring him on purpose. He continued to be angry with me and talk about how if the situation was reversed, I would be mad at him and he is angry that there is a double standard with us when it comes to that. I disagreed with him and told him I didn’t think it was that big of a deal since I was only gone for 15 minutes max, and immediately had apologized for leaving him on read.
Anyways, after this, we didn’t text for about 4 hours because I was driving to my parents house far away. When we started texting again, I asked for an apology for him being so angry with me earlier. He responded “You want an apology for something you did?”
and I explained to him that I always apologize to him afterwards when I overreact about things, and I would appreciate if he would do the same, so that way we could move on from the situation. He told me he refused to apologize for something that was entirely my fault.
It’s been 10 hours and he is still angry with me.
so yeah...Am I the asshole and is this situation my fault?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
idsvkDE4h4s5O6aHEghhuxeQuSQwl8rm
|
ajep1g
|
{
"description": "being angry at my housemate waking me up",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being angry at my housemate waking me up?
|
Four of us live together, one is never there, one sleeps early and gets up early, and myself and the other (we'll call him Chris) are total night owls, rarely falling asleep before 3 AM, and usually waking up after midday. I am mega strict about noise after midnight, because I think its incredibly rude to keep someone awake, and frequently tell him to stfu when we're talking after midnight, out of respect to my earlybird house mate. I have PTSD, and always have nasty nightmares when my sleep is disturbed. Annoyingly noise doesn't wake me right up, but rouses me to the point that my brain will start terrorising me. Chris knows this. Chris has had to come and console me after said nightmares. Chris also has a problem with light, and I have to make sure that all the hall lights remain off when he's sleeping, or he'll wake up. I use a torch if I have to go to the bathroom.
​
This morning Chris decided to get up super early, 8.30 to be precise, and had a loud political debate in the hallway outside my room with early bird housemate. Needless to say I proceeded to have a lovely creepy dream (about my grandmother begging me to not let her die, but I digress) and then work up, traumatised, unable to get back to sleep. I'm supposed to be finishing an essay today and I'm frazzled and exhausted, but whats really pissed me off, is that Chris's response to me texting him to shut up, was to tell me that 8.30 wasn't early, it was reasonable to wake me up then, and that I was lazy for not already being awake. I lost my shit at him, and we're still sniping at each other over text.
​
I don't see why as I show consideration for others who live in this house, that they can't show consideration for me. My PTSD is not their fault, nor my night owl tendencies, but I bend over backwards to accommodate them both. Just because Chris has decided to suddenly get up early, does not give him the right to make me feel shit for having the same sleeping patterns as he usually does.
​
tl:dr; I'm the mother Teresa of accommodating my flatmates, they show me no consideration in exchange. Am I right to be angry?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
lBIpJfHdi4XEb5pFnOyVGmbOKT8adfKH
|
9vdr6a
|
{
"description": "giving up after trying to let someone in for several seconds when driving? people were starting to angrily pass me and I gave the other driver a good 10 seconds. of course, the other driver realized I'd been letting them in and tried to go the exact second I moved",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for giving up after trying to let someone in for several seconds when driving? People were starting to angrily pass me and I gave the other driver a good 10 seconds. Of course, the other driver realized I’d been letting them in and tried to go the exact second I moved.
|
First and foremost: this did not result in a traffic accident. It didn’t even result in any honking or gestures. I still feel crappy about it though.
I was driving home when I attempted to let someone in. It’s a busy road and there’s no traffic lights for the side streets so it’s a complete nightmare to wait for someone to let you in. Having been one of the waiting ones more than once, I was sympathetic and stopped to let this pickup truck in.
The driver clearly wasn’t paying attention. I flashed my lights three times. It got to be a good 10 seconds as the song I was listening to got through a full verse. A couple of people had angrily passed me. So I decide to go. This driver is totally zoned out and it’s been 10 seconds. Didn’t want to honk as it’s a thickly settled area and that’s disruptive.
Of course, the second I decided to give up, the truck realized I had been letting them in. They moved to go in as I moved, but after it was too late for me to stop to let them in. (Low speed traffic but a small area). They ultimately had to brake fast and wait but the guy behind me let them in. He hadn’t seen the whole thing I don’t think. Just the part where I went ahead and went!
I doubt the truck realized I’d waited for them for ages before giving up. So they doubtlessly think I’m the asshole. But am I, objectively? What should I have done?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IaMrlrn6z9nGDXZefCAQ6OGw8jXQo3pZ
|
b2es0m
|
{
"description": "finding some peoples' very presence irritating",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finding some peoples' very presence irritating?
|
This has been on my mind for a long time now. Now before you guys ask, I don't act on these feelings. It's just all inside me. I think that I cannot do anything about it since, well, some were even my friends. As to what exactly this irritation entails, most of the time is feels as follows:
a. Oftentimes just hearing their voices irritates the fuck out of me. It's like I can't bear hearing it for the next second. But then again, I can't do anything but keep it inside.
b. When in a bad day I don't like them anywhere near me. Sometimes even just looking at them puts me in a bad mood. I get this feeling like I can't bear being in the same space as they do.
But at the end of the day, I can't really do anything about it. They don't know anything about how I feel. But when I think about it, me feeling like this is already a pretty asshole-y thing to do. And not letting them know about it makes me feel even worse :( AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
C74QeXAvr8ZmLmRTv1P5WYYWNJbiAzz5
|
afhxp6
|
{
"description": "ending it with my personal trainer when I still have 4 paid for sessions left",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I end it with my personal trainer when I still have 4 paid for sessions left?
|
Last fall when I moved to a new city, I joined a new gym and decided to get a personal trainer. Our initial session went really well, so I decided to take the leap and buy her 10x package (yes yes, my mistake).
Fast forward a few months, I have 4 sessions left (I was sick for like a month and there’s been holidays in between) and I just don’t want to do it anymore. I’ve found a good gym routine on my own, plus taken up a sport so I get a good amount of exercise in my free time, and simply put I just don’t really enjoy her training style. The first few times were nice because I learned new things etc, but at this point I never feel like going, and I kind of feel like I’m wasting both of our times.
The only issue is I still have those 4 paid for sessions, so I’m worried it would be a slap in the face to her to virtually be like “I’d rather throw this money away than train with you”. Furthermore, I genuinely have to cancel/move next week’s session due to something coming up, so I’m worried that would be like a double whammy. She’s really nice and it’s nothing against her as a person, it’s just not working for me. So, Reddit, WIBTA if I told her I want to stop?
TL;DR: Bought a 10 session packet with my personal trainer. I’m not enjoying it and don’t feel like I’m getting much out of it, so I want to stop going, but I have 4 paid for sessions left and am worried how it would come off to stop seeing her when she knows it means throwing money away. WIBTA if I end it anyway?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
uIHY5ort4cdY3Rp8aONAQDf01yhHaops
|
au8idr
|
{
"description": "not changing my seat in a train",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not changing my seat in a train?
|
Okay so this was a while ago but I just discovered this sub and had a rather long discussion with a friend of mine about it:
I was sitting on a train in one of those seating groups with 2 pairs of chairs facing each other. Of those four seats 3 were occupied.
PIC for reference: [https://imgur.com/MBbJr8G](https://imgur.com/MBbJr8G) (I was sitting on the red seat, empty seat is marked green, other two are occupied by innocent bystanders).
​
I am a tall guy and these seats are notoriously uncomfortable for tall people, ESPECIALLY the one at the window, because of these little trash cans that always get in the way of my knees and make my legs cramp because I have to sit in a weird way. So I always sit corridor side to have a bit of legroom.
​
We make a stop at a train station and many people enter. Because it was a busy time of day the last remaining free seat was the one on my right.
​
These two women aged around 40 come by, carrying a bit of luggage and one asks me if I can scoot over to the window so she can sit down. I say to her that I would really prefer to not sit at the window because it is really uncomfortable for me because of said trashcan, to which she answers that she wont squeeze through to sit there and that she has luggage that wont fit. I then tell her that I will hold her luggage for her so that she can sit there but that I wont scoot over.
Now at this point she is giving me "the stare" and mutters something to her friend like WTF is this piece of shit doing.
I however have somehow decided that I will not back down on this and that her need to not squeeze through is not bigger than my need to not sit uncomfortably for the next 20 minutes. Also these women were not frail or elderly at all and quite small so I was under the impression that it would be no problem for her to take the empty seat.
​
Over the next 5 minutes this women then proceeds to mutter to her friend and give me the looks, until I decide to repeat my offer that she can sit in the corner and I will hold her baggage. She angrily agrees and sits down. For the next 15 minutes this women continues muttering and telling me outright that I am a dick for not scooting over but at this point I am not listening to her anymore and just sit there reading shit on my smartphone. Which is about when she gets up and leaves the train with her friend (about 3 stations later I guess).
​
So, AITA or not? Did I make a scene for nothing or was she in the right? I don't know why but I find myself thinking about this situation a lot.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
IBQjJu3ucYbtoJPv3sQ9IQg3dBajnGlw
|
b1ivu3
|
{
"description": "stopping being the friend of a very lonely person",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for stopping being the friend of a very lonely person.
|
Before you hate me I just would like to make clear I haven’t done this and wondering if I did would be an asshole.
I go to a school right now and I am thirteen years old. I just joined a new school in September 2017. The school year starts off with a trip to this day camp where kids go and meet each other. Getting new friends. I ended up sitting with this kid, let’s call him P. P seemed like a really nice guy, friendly cheerful and all. We got a long well until he’d started becoming really clingy. The school I go to has sports fields off campus so we have to go there by bus. P always wants to sit with me and not let me be with my friends. I found him to be quite obnoxious to me, not deliberately, but still. My friend told me P had sprayed a whole can of deodorant into her hair. One day I sat with someone different, despite saying I would go with P. I then told him that I preferred to go with my friend because I had personal matters (a white lie) on which I needed to discuss with my friend. P then proceeds to steal my friend’s pen, despite my friend saying ‘give it back it cost me £40!’ I then had to promise P that I would sit with him in exchange for him to give my friend his pen back. P refuses at first but then gives the pen back by tucking it towards his abdomen. My friend had to get of his chair and starch it to get it back.
Will I be the asshole if I tell him I don’t want to be his friend anymore?
The reason I’m asking is because he has no friends and only talks to teachers. And is quite lonely. This is because of his actions. Sorry for bad grammar and spacing, I’m on mobile.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
AbS6JClJfRK3WyoYZtfdSi8WIgpO8dx4
|
b0nf0i
| null |
AITA for the Way I Acted Before/After my GF Broke Up With Me?
|
It all started one morning in February. I spent the night at my girlfriends dorm (we’re in college) and during the night I woke up because I heard her having trouble sleep. Her back hurt, and she needed more space on the bed. At this point in the night it was snowing, and I was dead tired— I could not drive home. So I did all I could; flatten as much as humanly possible against the wall. We got back to sleep, and awoke the following morning.
This is where shit hit the fan. I woke up, and checked my phone. I had an email from my lab TA telling us that out lab was due TODAY, not tomorrow as he said in his previous email. I panic, grab my girlfriend’s laptop, and get to work. My panic throws off her morning routine and she starts to get irritated. I try to explain myself, and she grabs me by the chin and firmly says “calm down”. Her being mad, coupled with my initial panic, sends me into a panic attack. I have to work through tears, hyperventilating, and my scrambled thoughts to finish the lab and I run there to make it on time.
Later that day I get a text from my girlfriend, and she wants to talk. I get in her car and she says she’s breaking up with me. I try to talk to her about it, but she’s cold towards me. She won’t even listen to the reasons why I acted the way I did; calling them “excuses “. After many tears and deaf ears, I leave her car.
I send two texts to her, one apology and one question. She blocks my number. Two days later I ask to talk on Snapchat..she blocks that too. I take the hint, and I don’t contact her after that. However, at the end of our Spring Break (one week later) I send one last message over Facebook Messenger asking to talk for closure. She texts me back and says she’ll talk to me when she feels like it. I replied with “Alright, let me know.” With no intention to contact her until she spoke to me. I wait a week and she asks to speak to me. I agree, and she picks me up.
What happened was not a talk, it was a lecture. I got in her car, and she handed me a booklet she made out of notecards titled “5 reasons I broke up with you”. She also handed me a notecard “contract” that said
“I ____ _______, will not contact *ex-girlfriend*.
X________________
She said if I did not sign it, she would go to the police and have me arrested for harassment. She also said she already went to the police to notify them of said harassment.
After the signing, I try to talk to her, but she yells over me and calls me “selfish”. Her only reason? I had HER take ME to Valentines Dinner (it was the only present I wanted for Valentine’s Day). She said it’s supposed to be the other way around. The flowers, chocolate, and bear I got her weren’t “real” presents; The date is. She then tells me she has to be somewhere in five minutes, and kicks me out of her car.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
g36JJ234ayl10QjnPrdc0KaCO2eJlUVp
|
9zbq2n
|
{
"description": "not buying \"pet safe\" rock salt",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not buying "pet safe" rock salt?
|
So, as in many places recently, my area had it's first real snowfall of the season last week. So I was out shoveling, and when I was done I put out salt on the sidewalk, as city laws say I'm responsible for that. As I'm doing this, a guy walks up to me and asks me if it's pet safe rock salt. It's not, and I tell him as much, and he immediately goes off on me about how I'm being hugely inconsiderate to the pet owners in the neighborhood, because they still have to walk their dogs in the winter and how it's terrible that he has to be extra sure that his dog isn't hurt by the salt because of people like me. I kinda brushed him off, and after he saw that I wasn't going to engage with him, he left.
Now, a couple of points in my defense: I don't have any pets. Pet safe rock salt is both more expensive ($11/bag vs. $4/bag) and it's a smaller bad (fifteen pound bags vs. twenty pound bags). This guy lives at the other end of the street from me, almost a quarter of a mile away, and he doesn't bring his dog this far down the street often anyway, as it apparently is old and has medical issues (this was all mentioned in his rant about how inconsiderate I was being). Finally, the only other person on the street who has pets (that I know of) has dogs that never actually leave their yard.
Basically, I've been thinking about this since it happened. Am I the asshole for not buying pet safe rock salt, even if there aren't many pets in the area?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
gayuPpa14gb2s2DqMNqzU5qGDVTwktX4
|
b3h2jy
|
{
"description": "not compromising",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not compromising?
|
Hello, this is my first post on Reddit, so I'm not sure if I'm doing this correctly. Criticism and honest feedback is greatly appreciated, because I really don't know the right answer to this dilemma.
My boyfriend and I have been talking about our different values on sex for a while now. I want to have sex after marriage, and he wants to have sex right now. I try to give everything I can to compensate for this because I feel guilty (i.e. pay for most of our dates, drive him around, etc.), but he says that's not the right thing to do. He wants us to compromise instead (e.g. everything but actual intercourse), but I really do want to save myself for marriage. I know that we genuinely love each other, and I just want us to be okay. He says there's no other way to show me how much he loves me. Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0p0DVnjbGEzxI66Qg2cyGDfTbfIdVrmJ
|
adahxs
|
{
"description": "wanting to keep my window open",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to keep my window open?
|
So I’ve (F17) been really sick lately. One part of it is a really bad cough and shortness of breath. My mother and her boyfriend smoke basically nonstop. Because of this, I wanted to leave my bedroom window open so I can get some fresh air. My room is on a completely different floor than them, so it wouldn’t even bother them unless they came up to my room. I only wanted it open until I was over this illness, even though I would prefer longer.
My mom’s boyfriend *freaked out* over the window being opened. He started screaming at me and said that if I didn’t go close it in ten seconds he would go get his drill and screw it shut. It’s already hard enough to breathe in this house with the window open. That would’ve just made it worst.
When I asked my mom if she could text me if they leave (they usually head out to the casino every night- no jobs), she replied with this (copy and pasted):
“So you don't think there's something wrong with you making the whole house cold because YOU want fresh air?”
This isn’t even close to being the only thing that’s happened, but this just really pissed me off. I want to have the ability to breathe decently and I’m getting treated as if I’m a terrible person.
TL;DR: mom makes me feel like I’m being inconsiderate because I want to breathe fresh air with the window open when all she does is smoke
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AM3972tMEcRPF3l0yYmVNX0dRLnS5WC1
|
9vyht2
|
{
"description": "being fed up with my girlfriends mental illness",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being fed up with my girlfriends mental Illness
|
I'm a 16M and my girlfriend is a 17F. This is my first legit relationship.
So basically the deal is I'm sick of my girlfriend not taking care of her mental Illness. It seems like every other day there is some kind of new problem, or she's all of a sudden got an urge to cut, or she just feels bad for no reason. I understand, because I have my own Medically diagnosed Mental health issues. What I don't understand is why she refused to get treatment or any kind of help at all. She was on Medicine for a while but she quit because it was 1. Giving her tremors and 2. She didn't like how it made her feel. Again that's understandable but she hasn't seemed to do anything to supplement it and honestly I can not be her therapist. It's hard enough for me to get through my daily day without trying to shoulder her along with me. I don't want to break up because I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself and because I geniuenly want her to get help.
She texted me about a half hour ago saying she had the urge to cut. I of course told her not to. She then said it's been going on for too weeks, which annoyed me because she's been saying everything's been fine. So I said she should speak with her therapist, and she said "well I can't do that right now can I?". I said I was here for her in the interim and she said " but not here" as in not at her house. I planned on staying home and I have been sick. Now she has the right to be a little mad cause I went out with my friend last night, so I'm obviously not sick enough to be bed ridden. I tell her I'm sick and say if she needs me to I will come over. She then just starts saying things like don't worry about it and no it's ok, and I reiterate that I'm there for her. Same responses. She invited me over earlier and I said no because her mom nor little sister was home and it makes me uncomfortable going behind her parents back like that.
I feel guilty because I don't know what more I can do. Even when I've gone to comfort her it doesn't feel like I do much and she's always sad once I'm gone. It's really draining me
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
tlVnu8lXIRJYPdu0DGvyJznngprTsAgX
|
avymaa
|
{
"description": "not wanting to provide an ex with pics of my insurance card when I gave her a copy of the card at the beginning of January",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA: for not wanting to provide an ex with pics of my insurance card when I gave her a copy of the card at the beginning of January?
|
My ex wife wanted pics of my insurance card so she could "sort something out with medicaid" for medication for my daughter(she is on an antidepressant currently). I gave her a duplicate card at the beginning of the year. She is now claiming I don't care about my children because I won't give her a pic of it. I did provide her with the number to call to get a new card as well as the group number. She has been trying to use any and all kinds of manipulation to have me do it up to and including having her mother contact me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
Qm6t83T5cZB9dGfQwYJCHJbrACJp0kWM
|
asgwo2
|
{
"description": "lying to my dh about going to the dr",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for lying to my dh about going to the dr
|
Well, today I lied to my DH about going to the dr because he feels i shouldnt take my anxiety medication and my prozac. I had post partum depression for 2 years, snd still struggle at times, I also have debilitating anxiety. I can not do normal things that I should have no issue doing because of my anxiety. I'm so aggravated! Yup, I lied today and went to the drs after spending the night at my moms, she helped me pay for my appt. And he found out because my dumb ass used my card at sonic. So I'm still at my moms and avoiding going home, because I dont want to deal with the fighting that this is gonna cause. Yeah I know I shouldnt of lied absolutely stupid of me. I just dont think he understands anything. Also I will answer any questions you have.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KlO9h95BDFRfOoUsuAuPwaIy6rC68SLJ
|
a3rv3h
|
{
"description": "going and got vaccinating against the wishes of my (anti-vaxx) parents",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I went and got vaccinated against the wishes of my (anti-vaxx) parents?
|
Some context.
I am 18 years old. My mother is an anti-vaxxer and thinks that vaccines gave me autism (which I do have), that there was some whistleblower dude in the CDC calling out “Big Pharma’s” “bullshit”, and that apparently you can cure cancer just by going on a diet and using cannabis oil. I’m not so sure about my dad but I believe he is also an anti-vaxxer. I do not have an ID or driver’s license yet and live at home with my parents.
I asked on r/legaladvice whether it would be legal or not for me to go and get, say, a free flu shot without parental consent, and they basically confirmed yes. But now I’m asking... would I be the asshole if I did this without their consent or perhaps their knowledge? I don’t know what shots I have and haven’t gotten and I believe I haven’t been vaccinated since birth.
I also want to say that I likely won’t be doing this anytime soon as like I said, I don’t have a driver’s license and I still live with my parents.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
WnOWnxszhxJEKTJXXRFnTkGlv2Vxqefo
|
a70d0j
|
{
"description": "not properly asking permission for marriage from my future father-in-law",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not properly asking permission for marriage from my future father-in-law?
|
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over 5 years, and I was ready to propose to her. She had mentioned offhandedly a year or so ago that it would mean a lot to her father (let's call him Will) if I was to ask for her hand in marriage. I think that this is a really old-fashioned tradition - why am I asking for permission to marry Will's daughter, when everyone involved knows that I'm going to marry her anyway, regardless of what he says? They also have no intention of paying for the entire wedding, so it's not like they adhere to all these traditions anyway.
My own parents never told me how to properly ask for permission to marry someone and my then-girlfriend (now fiancé) gave me no tips. So I did what I thought was right, and sat Will down and told him of my intention to propose to his daughter in a few days time. He avoided answering for a few hours and kept me hanging, until we were literally driving to the airport to pick up his daughter and finally said that I could have his blessing.
I thought that all was well, but now, two months into our engagement, Will and his wife keep making snide comments (never in front of me, but my fiancé tells me about them) about how I was insulting in the way that I went about this whole situation, I'm not the traditional, chivalristic man that he thought I was, I asked permission in such an unconventional way, etc. etc. It's really driving a wedge between my fiancé and I because of how frequently it has come up. Like I said, I was never raised or told explicitly by anyone (fiancé, Will, my own parents) how to ask for someone's permission for marriage. AITA for not doing it to his standards, and possibly creating lifelong resentment? Or is this something that everyone but me knows how to do, and do properly?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
DsiyBLiVnbtEpEu4bTbTgf2PofZDExOr
|
a3vv1d
|
{
"description": "cutting off my racist relative",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off my racist relative?
|
I have a distant cousin (my maternal great aunt’s granddaughter) who is close to my age. We grew up in the same city, but we are not especially close. She has a long history of drug issues and has been arrested for various petty offences. Her kids have different fathers, and she is in an on-again, off-again relationship with the father of her unborn daughter. She makes a lot of irresponsible choices that impact her kids, but she comes from a difficult family background, so I try not to judge her. That being said, I recently cut contact with her after she posted something racist on Facebook. She was annoyed with another driver (who was apparently black), and she decided to post a racist screed about how she hates minorities. It was really troubling; I told her it wasn’t appropriate and defriended her. I will have to see racist cousin at an upcoming holiday party, and now I’m not sure I was in the right. Should I resume contact with racist cousin? I had a difficult upbringing as well, but I don’t use it as an excuse to treat others poorly. Unless I am treating her poorly? Folks, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3kq8x1HPgEWHL3Y5JXsbKp0iBV3I3PWd
|
b64qja
|
{
"description": "making my text notifications private",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AIta For making my text notifications private
|
I recently switched my phone to vibrate only, so that texts do not show up on my screen, mainly because I leave my phone on my desk at work and didn’t want personal/private stuff popping up. I didn’t tell my significant other as it’s my phone and my preferences (it’s still unlocked and at any point they could use it, go through it,fine with me). Well they completely lost it, saying I’m not being open and not taking their feelings into consideration and that I’m so weird and sketchy.
Am I the asshole for not changing it back? I heard her feeling I just think it’s a massive over reaction and completely disagree.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GL9oM7RtqNsjGHVLspORPKpQzZ7Jtwot
|
9x81lu
|
{
"description": "telling my parents I don't forgive them for threatening my education",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I told my parents I don't forgive them for threatening my education?
|
**TL;DR:** Had an abusive rs, parents knew how bad it was for me, found out that I planned to keep talking to her sparsely after I wanted to hurt myself, threatened my belongings and college education if I talked to her. I want them to know how much they hurt me.
This'll sound a bit convoluted at the start, but bear with me.
From March until August, I was in an LDR with a girl I truly loved to the ends of the earth, but for multiple reasons including an abusive home on her end, it was incredibly toxic for both of us. She was manipulative most of the time and in early August, she had told me she came up positive on a pregnancy test after our meetup a week or so prior (because I was a stupid kid and didn't use protection). I had just moved in for my first college semester, so that on top of possibly being a dad crumbled on me and I told her I wanted to kill myself. Worried for me, she called campus police and they took me to a crisis center overnight.
I'm under 18, so they had to tell my parents. I had to tell them about the possible pregnancy (which eventually turned out to be false). Once I left the hospital, I called this girl and told her things were over. She was sad and did her usual tricks to try and get me to stay, and I fell for it and told her we could check in on each other once every few months. I was mulling this over to myself and ultimately changed my mind later that day, but hadn't told her yet.
My parents ended up snooping through my text messages with her and found out. Upon seeing this, my mom gave me two options: take away my desktop that I built with my own money as well as my cell and laptop until further notice, or they would withdraw me from college. I was furious and got into a series of huge arguments with my parents. My dad wanted to get a restraining order on this girl and didn't even consider taking my stuff, he just wanted me home.
After a long series of angry, tear-filled talks, they took all my stuff, gave me a flip phone, and left me at school. They told me they'd be monitoring my accounts and if I tried to contact this girl, they would withdraw me from school or stop supporting me financially once I'm 18 (they have loans in their names on my education). Not even a week later, they told me they trust me again and gave me everything back. I was confused, but glad I had all that.
I've talked to them less over time, only for family visits and appointments with my psych since I need an adult present to get my antidepressants.
But I'm still incredibly bitter at them. To me, they've essentially used my college education as a bargaining chip to be over-protective of me. I know they love and care about me, and they've supported me most of my childhood, but their behavior here broke a lot of the trust I had in them. The fact that they wanted to get a restraining order on this underage girl who was nearly 2000 miles away from us disgusted me. I want them to know it, because I don't know how long I can boil my emotions without having a breakdown.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
uoqHOIxsIxmSokBVVuhmUTKsSKomXglo
|
aqifqx
|
{
"description": "suggesting our Adult child get their nails done",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Am I the Asshole for Suggesting Our Adult Child Get Their Nails Done?
|
## AITA
##
## Am I the Asshole for Suggesting Our Adult Child Get Their Nails Done?
📷
Am I the asshole for telling my wife she can take our adult daughter to get her nails and toes done instead of me? We go once a month or more for a pedicure and manicure. This month our middle child was having a tough time and I suggested she take that adult child with her for our monthly manicure.
She wasn't mad but seemed almost hurt. While we were getting our feet done she sniped something about was I sure I wanted to be there.
I sincerely was thinking it would be a nice gesture for our daughter, but my love obviously didn't take it that way.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Rn979LNHWrDPzaAzAijmB5WYI7u2IYaP
|
ad7gb7
|
{
"description": "not thinking misgendering someone is the same as using a racial slur? long story but worth the read",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for not thinking misgendering someone is the same as using a racial slur? Long story but worth the read.
|
There’s a recent meme that’s been blowing up on the internet lately of a transgender women who goes into GameStop and the cashier says sir instead of mam, which the transgender female doesn’t like. She (he) decides to kick stuff around (games), yell and demand that the cashier call him a her. In a customer service setting, it’s both respectful and a way to keep a customer but the other customer asking her (him) to relax got the transgender women upset, starts kicking stuff more violently and I believe even threatening the both the customer and the worker. I say this all because someone posted on fb that it’s never ok to misgender someone and that she (he) is a meme because they are transgender, which I felt it’s more the way she (he) acted. We got into a fb argument and the person who posted it explains how I’m transphobic if I think it’s ok to “pick and choose” when to respect ones pronouns. All I said was, if I were threatened and treated disrespectfully by a trans person, I would misgender them. Which got her super pissed and told me she was very offended. Look, I believe in respecting people’s pronouns but if they are being the asshole to you, threatening you or being hateful to you, you shouldn’t have to respect them as they aren’t respecting you. So I told her that and she goes on to say that misgendering someone is the same as being racial to someone, which I think isn’t true. Being a raciest and saying someone’s assigned gender are not the same in my eyes, especially when it’s said by someone who says she identifies as “various genders and no gender all the same time”. She then calls me a female (I’m a guy) since she feels I didn’t respect the transgender females gender, which is hypocritical as she literally told me that you don’t get to pick and choose what to call someone under any circumstance. I just believe to let live, if someone wants to call themself something, you should respect it but if you choose not to, it’s rude and shouldn’t happen; but it shouldn’t be the same as calling someone of color a racial slur. So now that you read all that, please tell me; Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
JFYk7SVZ8SnPdc5yKm9nWfdNIDXC9yco
|
a678m4
|
{
"description": "feeling like my friend ripped off my drawings",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling like my friend ripped off my drawings?
|
About a month ago I showed my friend/roommate a drawing I did in high school. Literally the next day I saw basically a copy of it on a scrap piece of paper on the floor and felt weirded out by it but didn’t know what to say. Then they started posted / tagging the art and I felt ripped off and spent a week wondering if I should say something. This morning I told them that what they’re posting makes me uncomfortable , and showed them my art again to explain why. They pretty much told me that they don’t remember me showing them that, and that “everyone does that style” and that they’re not going to stop. They asked me what I wanted them to do and I said I didn’t know.
Should I sit let it go? Would I be wrong to confront them again? I feel like they should do their own shit and that they belittled my art.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2N4k1UbHnxHShmH0Gza16PRAn0ARKXW7
|
ah73uy
|
{
"description": "thinking about hurting people despite never acting on it",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For thinking about hurting people despite never acting on it.
|
Tinder date asked me after the fact where I learned to have sex that rough. I tend to bite, spank, and grab during sex. She was into it but I guess she never met someone as "aggressive" as me.
I just tell her that it comes naturally to me. That Ive thought about that stuff a lot, ever since I was young. She asks me more questions and I admit that I also think about hurting people in general.
If you ever played Hotline Miami theres a line in there that asks "Do you like to hurt people" or something along those lines and it resonated very deeply with me, because I do, and I know thats wrong.
I think about hurting women during sex, I think about hurting men any other time. But those thoughts have never translated to reality and I am pretty much a normal guy. She is put off by me admitting this, and says just having thoughts like that make me a sociopath.
I disagreed at the time. Why is that an issue if it hurts no one. Am I the asshole for just thinking about hurting people, despite being non violent?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
IYNpMnFnIL7nv5D9lnt49HVkKpBDExat
|
b8ir5r
|
{
"description": "costing my family 350 dollars",
"pronormative_score": 60,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For costing my family 350 dollars?
|
So I am currently on an overseas holiday. My parents installed a data plan with roaming on their phones and my sisters, but not mine. They didn’t tell me they didn’t on mine however, so I naturally assumed they had. When we arrived, I used my 4G for a little while, before turning off my mobile data. After that, I made about 1 call and used my 4G for probably less than two minutes. This equated to 0.35 Gs of data used, which in my plan costed 350 dollars.
Keep in mind my sister was using her data for pretty much the entire trip so far, texting and making calls too, and her cost is nowhere near as much as mine.
Now my parents are mad at me for costing so much money, but in my defence I didn’t know I had such a dumb plan as NOBODY told me they just didn’t bother installing roaming on my phone, and I only used 0.35 G which in my mind was barely anything.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 58,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 7
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 60,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
x5PxRY6qApJg2RoqMnuQ1lU4uHxjw6CX
|
ays9jc
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my teacher over International Women's day",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my teacher over International Women’s Day?
|
So today was International Women’s Day, which is a pretty big deal at my school. Most of the students, including the boys (including me), showed their support for feminism and the empowerment of women. However, at the end of school day, my teacher (female) was handing out “International Women’s Day” pins and wristbands to only the female students. I expressed my disappointment to my teacher because the boys couldn’t support the way they wanted to. My male friend later said “he could understand” but I still don’t myself. I know this is something really trivial, but am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
V7YsrauWas3RoZoB8lbvJhQcV4xhZEqp
|
a9tl6p
|
{
"description": "not getting my friends an access key to my apartments gym",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not getting my friends an access key to my apartments gym?
|
A little background info: This pertains to some of my closest friends. People I've known and spent time with since I was in middle school. I also have a hard time saying no to them because I know if I needed something they're going to be there for me no matter what.
On to the relevant information:
I recently moved into a new apartment that has a really nice gym that is supposed to be for residents and their guests only. We have a security guy that comes by to check occasionally but he really doesn't do much unless you're causing problems.
Anyways, a lot of my close friends have come over to workout with me/use the facilities with me a bunch of times but recently I've been busy so I turned them down a few times. After a few times of being turned down they asked if they could borrow the access key to the gym and use it while I was out doing my own things and I agreed a couple of times.
Recently though I've gotten a little tired of being asked for my access key since it's gotten to the point that they ask to come over at random times or if I'm not at home they ask if they can meet me where ever I'm going to get the access key so I told them that this is becoming a hassle for me because I have to make time between my plans to give them the key and then wait another few days until I see them again to get it back.
Their solution to that is to have me get another access key that they can keep and use whenever they want so they don't bother me.
I decided that it's not fair to the rest of the people living in the apartment since they're paying residents and my friends are not. When I told them I wouldn't do it they threw a huge fit and argued that it's not hurting anyone since most of the times they go there aren't people there ( not true I've been with them many times and people have been there using equipment every single time).
They went on to about how they let me use their stuff such as letting me borrow their video games or their cars when mine isn't working so I should be a bro and get an extra key for them. I turned them down and they've been mad about it ever since. I feel kind of bad because they have let me borrow their stuff many times but at the same time it's not their apartment complex and I feel like I could get in a lot of trouble if they were ever asked by security.
**TL;DR Friends use my apartment gym all the time but it got annoying for me to give them my access key all the time. Their solution is for me to lie and say I lost my key and to get another one to give to them. I turned them down but they're mad because they've given me stuff and helped me out in the past.**
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
T8CCc9yrRKTucBw0QlMpm8Swfggf6Z0D
|
b9012u
|
{
"description": "telling people to stop complaining when they do favors for me",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for telling people to stop complaining when they do favors for me?
|
Okay, this totally sounds like I'm being a dick, but let me explain. A lot of the time I'll ask my friends for favors. Pour me a glass of water since you're in the kitchen, drive me to school, etc. I'll ask, and then sometimes they'll go, "UGGGGHHHH, fine. Can't you do it yourself?"
"You don't have to do it," I say. "You can say no. I won't be mad."
"UGH, no, it's fine. I'll fucking do it."
"Are you sure? You really sound like you don't want to. I can just do it if you're not up for it."
"No, I'll just do the stupid favor!"
"Alright, well either don't do it, or stop whining about it!"
I feel like an asshole because I'm so harsh at a person who's willing to do something for me, but at the same time, they clearly don't want to do it, so why do it and complain when I repeatedly tell them that they don't have to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.