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ODoPwVt9ZjPzgNd0nOPv8WksvfpbnyaI
|
a5o9cf
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{
"description": "getting a henna tattoo because my friend asked me to",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I got a henna tattoo because my friend asked me to?
|
I’m a white female, and my friend is a Muslim female. She’s apart of a club about celebrating Islam in our school, and they’re having a day where they do henna tattoos for other students as an event to promote awareness about their club. She’s asking me to get one, which I’d love to, but I’m afraid that it’d be considered cultural appropriation.
I go to a mainly white, liberal school, and I’m scared that people will think I got one without knowing the meaning behind hennas and I’ll be ostracized.
I don’t want to offend anyone by my actions, but getting a henna seems fun and my friend is specifically asking me to.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 7,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
afdeln
|
{
"description": "being upset at my girlfriend for messing with me on the phone",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset at my girlfriend for messing with me on the phone?
|
I just had gotten off of a long shift at work, and I work customer service. This particular time was a pretty awful day... constantly having to deal with irate customers, getting yelled/sworn at, and just having to take a lot of extra shit from people claiming everything is my fault when, in fact, store policy doesn't allow me to carry out certain tasks.
Well, I had just gotten off work and was reminded of a christmas party my girlfriend's work was putting on, but I couldn't FOR THE LIFE OF ME remember if it was that night, or if it was the following week. So, I called her; obvious thing to do. I knew she was already off of work and I just needed to confirm with her.
I get her contact from my "recent calls" list, and hit dial; it definitely wasn't her that picked up. I heard the basic "hello" and my response is always "hey babe, what's up?" and as soon as I said that, the other person goes "ummmm don't call me that, weirdo. Who is this?"
"This is [insert name]. Wait, is this not [gf]?"
"No. Who are you?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Then who is this?"
"You called me. Who are you?"
And after that I hung up. I was super confused. I sat contemplating what was going on for a solid 5 minutes before I called her house phone. No one answered. I called her cell phone one more time. This time an older-sounding gentleman picked up.
I asked once more for my girlfriend and he said that there wasn't anyone there by that name. And right after he had said that, I hear someone bust out laughing. A few seconds later my girlfriend picks up and says *laughing*"hey hun! My sister and her boyfriend had my phone! What are you up to!?"
And I was honestly pissed off. I had an absolutely horrible day, and all I needed to know was the date on a party that was happening and I needed to know if I was to head over to her place or what I was supposed to be doing... and they thought it was hilarious to joke around with me. I have told my girlfriend that my days usually aren't great because of work, and work nearly always puts down my mood. So I'm not sure why she thought it was a great idea to mess around with me.
I told her I was trying to see when the date of the party was, but to forget about it cause I was going home. I told her it pissed me off that she was messing with me after work, and told her I had a super shitty day. Still laughing, she said "oh btw, my sister says she's sorry."
I told her I didn't care, and that I would talk to her another time; after that, I hung up. She texted me saying the party was next week, and I told her I was going to be driving and not to call or text anymore tonight, and that I would see her tomorrow. After that I told her goodnight and that's all that was said.
AITA for being actually pretty upset that they were messing with me? I know I probably didn't act very kindly after such a bad day of work, but honestly... would anyone else take it that fairly? I was honestly super worried for a solid few minutes as to what happened to my gf or what was really going on.
Not gonna lie, still upset about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
dCKMU7sIOjHWcpj4MPv91mfGxJMhp3L7
|
b6bvvx
|
{
"description": "cancelling the threesome, but still wanting to sex the third party",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for cancelling the threesome, but still wanting to sex the third party?
|
Background: my boyfriend and I have discussed a threesome in the past. And I initially agreed to it, but wanted to take my time in finding the right girl for our FFM.
After quite some thought, I was having second thoughts about the threesome. I’m into women and men, but am very territorial when it comes to my significant other. I found a girl and everything but just wasn’t sure I was ready to watch my man stick his dick in another woman. So, I kinda haggled the process. I wanted to make sure I was 100% ready.
Fast forward: About 4 months I’m having even more second thoughts about engaging in this sex act. I begin to become uneasy and just can’t set aside the insecurity watching him sex someone else could possibly bring.
I decide to CANCEL the threesome entirely and explain to him that I am just not ready. He assures me it’s 100% ok. However, I try to compromise and propose him sit in on watching me and the third party have sex instead (since this is something he’d previously mentioned also)
AITA for still wanting to have sex with the third party after canceling the threesome out of insecurity?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
xGmhQbEG1GG97ezpR4v8fGvvc9RFPZOF
|
arf84u
|
{
"description": "thinking my parents should get a divorce",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking my parents should get a divorce?
|
So I (19F) have had the best year of my life specifically because I’m spending less time at home with my parents (38F) and (45M).
Now they had me pretty young and honesty were not together very long before hand ... like 2 months I believe.
There’s a huge gap between me and my younger brother and so they didn’t get married until he was almost 2. And so I took on a lot of house work and semi-parenting as I got older.
Now my parents anyways... they are clearly not happy. They complain to me constantly about each other and are always in bad moods. My mom doesn’t even have a talking voice she just yells all the time and my dad, who has a lot of health issues, is just always miserable. He constantly ‘joked’ about divorce and his next wife and comments about other women and even makes jokes about my friends wanting him or if they have any hot siblings to set him up with.
My mom doesn’t work a lot, she sort of gets to pick her own hours since she works at our family company and most of the time she’s at home, she sits on the couch on her I pad or playing video games or watching YouTube. My dad works a lot. And he has the worst hours on top of his health issues. He’s been working from 3am - 9am, 7 days a week, 364 days a year for over 20 years. And I’m not joking. He doesn’t get days off and he rarely gets work cancellations and when he does it’s because of insane weather and they legally can’t make him work. He recently took on more hours during the day as well to make more money.
The also have a lot of pets... mostly because of my mother’s attachment and social issues... so she has pets rather than friends. But neither of them can stand the mess the pets make and then just freak out about how untidy the house is or how the other one isn’t helping enough to clean.
I honestly don’t think they’ve even had sex in ... I wouldn’t be surprised if it were years tbh. My father complains about my mothers weight constantly, and she has grown in size quite a bit the past few years, and he brings it up to her often as well. I had to talk him out of buying her a scale for Christmas, which he seriously thought would be a good gift to motivate her into working out more.
Usually my dads bad mood is brought on by my mothers attitude towards him or just her constant complaining about things. And then if he’s moody (because of her) she’ll complain to me about how he always has a fucking attitude and she’s sick of his shit and he never does anything and he’s always taking on projects he doesn’t finish and all he does is complain.
I’ve gotten to the point where I ignore both of them and just nod along.
My brothers (11m) and (13m) are starting to pick up on the shit that I’ve been dealing with for years regarding them and every so often we’ll just look to each other with raised eyebrows like here we go....
My only concern is that they’re staying together for stability, familiarity, and ‘because of the kids’ but I know it’s sometimes worse to stay together for the kids. Their relationship is completely toxic and it’s always sort of affected their parenting as well. I don’t think they notice much but I try to communicate with them nicely about that so they can kind of ‘get the idea for themselves’ about what to do in certain situations.
Anyways yeah sorry for the rant but I’ve been thinking for the past ... idk 8 years that they should get divorced and just wanted to hear other thoughts on the toxicity.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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sNJhwn1I3TWC0mho8MfhmibE2GL5XwbG
|
9v4jce
|
{
"description": "refusing to attend a wedding where my wife is the Matron of Honor",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for refusing to attend a wedding where my wife is the Matron of Honor?
|
AITA?
Several years ago I attended my brother-in-law's wedding. My brother in law has a friend who is in the Marines and is generally a douche canoe. I never really talked to him, but since I was at the wedding we talked a little bit and I figured, "Maybe this dude is alright." We are both in the military and I figured that we might be able to get along. Turns out I was wrong. Throughout the night he kept hitting on my wife, and I confronted him about it. It almost turned to blows at the wedding, so I backed down. I wouldn't be responsible for ruining a relatives wedding.
Unfortunatley, this asshole's sister is my wife's best friend. The sister obviously took her brother's side is the whole scenario. I understand you have to stick up for your brother, but as a result of this I have never spoken to this family again. I've made it known fairly vocally that I dislike them.
Well fast forward several years and the sister is getting married. She asks my wife to be a matron of honor at the wedding. She also wants my daughter to be the flower bearer. I told my wife "Sure, you can go, but our daughter won't be the flower girl and I am not attending."
My wife was upset with me. She has been friends with this girl since they were 7. I understand, but I'm sticking to my choice.
So let me know. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
fCmBvTW2QTLJCgmhJdImhA6ZVWSuburT
|
b19eqg
|
{
"description": "ignoring my friends for almost 1 year",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for ignoring my friends for almost 1 year?
|
Hi Reddit,
I haven't been in contact with my closest friends for some time now. I lived with them whilst I was at university, where we shared many human experiences, conversations and genuine, happy moments. I consider them some of the best people I've been lucky enough to have met.
However, even though they've tried to reach out to me (via messages, phonecall) I have actively been avoiding or dodging them for around a year now. This has occured since I left university.
Basically, from my perspective, life is not going the way I thought it would. At uni I achieved a 1st degree whilst also doing a year in industry. I sought out other avenues to flesh out my work experience and build my portfilio (my intention is not to brag, just to set the scene). However, after leaving uni my heart wasn't in the field i got my degree in (it made me very miserbale on some days), so I decided to return home, work part time for a bit, to figure out what I wanted to do in life.
Fast forward 1.5 years and I'm still working a menial part time job, procrasting in life and still feeling extremely lost. In that time, when friends/ex housemates have tried to contact me, I've actively avoided them. Im abit ashamed of where I am atm, so the idea of having a conversation with them, just to tell them I've not progressed at all and have little to talk about, is embarrassing to me. I also feel a shadow of the person I used to be, so I dont want them to see me at this moment in time.
However, I know deep down this is not a real enough reason to blow them off and ignore them. I'm accutly aware that I'm probably damaging these relationships through silence. It's not my intention to be cold, disinterested or unloyal. In quiet moments I do d myself thinking about them alot. But if you tried to check-in on your friend numerous times and were ignored by them for seemingly no reason for a year, wouldn't you think they were being an asshole?
AITA for ignoring my friends for almost a year?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
8RXsqhRs0R9sEaQfu4nGzc4dJvti4yGQ
|
ba5ovk
|
{
"description": "getting basically the same tattoo as Air Force para-rescue usually get",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for getting basically the same tattoo as Air Force para-rescue usually get?
|
So backstory: I recently overcame some struggles that had to do with some bad choices I made. One of the things that inspired me to get better was a short YouTube video of a group called Air Force para rescue (or PJs). They just seemed so cool and if inspired me to get my act cleaned up.
As a way to honor these guys proxy improving my life I decided to get the same tattoo that they get when they graduate basic training. It's basically two green feet. I Think it looks so aweome.
I went to the gym just now and this guy asked me where I served. I said I wasn't sure what he was talking about. He said my tattoo, I explained to him what I said above and he basically looked at me like I was a piece of shit and told me what I did was inexcusable. I asked why he was an authority and he said he was an army guy and would never dream about "stealing" another units tattoo. I was really intimidated by him so I just sort of walked away.
Am I an asshole or was he just massive gatekeeping?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
WRONG
|
jxuTP1zKb379OTFzdGcRUEU996bIoQYS
|
am306o
|
{
"description": "quitting my job without giving notice",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for quitting my job without giving notice?
|
I worked a night job, taking phonecalls from customers and putting orders in the system. I was employed casually for 16 months working on a roster that gave me about 4 or 5 nights a week, though the shifts were only four hours. Most nights, I didn't even work the full four hours and was sent home half an hour to an hour early, meaning I didn't get paid for the time that I missed out on. This is a problem, because (due to a very bad depressive episode that began a few years ago that I'm now getting on top of with meds and therapy) I am in debt and need all the money I can get.
The working environment was very toxic. The supervisor and her 2iC were petty and belittling, and showed no respect for anyone but each other. They constantly complained about our manager (who works the day shift), other staff members, and customers. They showed blatant favouritism with those of us under their authority. There were two of us employed before another girl, and my supervisor and the 2iC trained her beyond what we were trained to do, despite that fact that we were senior to her and she was employed to do exactly the same job we were. Ultimately, she also resigned before either of us.
They were also vulgar and inappropriate, making jokes and comments that are not appropriate for the workplace. Recently, the supervisor made a joke to the other non-favourite coworker that she should have picked up one of the clients of the prostitute who works down the street to "make a little extra money before you go home".
I was offered a new job doing something similar for another company. The hours are better (30 hours a week, looking to move into full time after a trial/training period), and I'll get benefits like sick days and leave that I didn't get at my casual job. I have accepted this job and started less than a week later, finishing up my roster with the old job without telling anyone until payroll was processed because I didn't want them stripping me of what few shifts I had left there or not paying me, because I needed the money.
TLDR: In order to escape a toxic working environment I took a new job, and they asked me to start in 3 days. I left my job without notice so they didn't take away my last few shifts and paid me on time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QFtClGG0hXLWTP9pozFlfFFllkTusFjX
|
a90424
|
{
"description": "being an ungrateful daughter",
"pronormative_score": 86,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for being an ungrateful daughter?
|
TLDR: My mother only ever buys gifts indirectly for herself, or so it seems.
Tonight I visited my mother and younger brothers at their house. While there my mother dropped a wrapped gift in my lap and insisted I open it then and there despite previously made plans for me to host Christmas at my new house with everyone. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.
The gift inside was a hideous purple Wal-Mart dress not in my size. The texture of the fabric immediately made me want to scrub my hands. I admit I could have reacted more enthusiastically. I just did not have the energy in me to fake it.
My mother was obviously upset at my less than ecstatic reaction. She got very flustered and told me I was free to return it but she did not have a receipt for the item and couldn’t I just try to like it? Couldn’t I just try to appreciate her taste in gifts for once?
This sounds like making a mountain out of a molehill but this has been a pattern for a long, long time. Previous gifts have included; dollar store jewelry that causes me to break out in a rash (multiple years, multiple conversations on why she never saw me wear it), lipgloss that she had opened and liked, etc. Nearly every time she will take the gifts back for herself under the guise that at least someone (herself) will get use out of it.
It would be one thing if these things came from an acquaintance that did not know me that well. But my mother has known me for 29 years. She was there growing up as the cheap costume jewelry she insisted I wear kept causing infections in my ears, she was there when as a toddler I would scratch myself bloody over clothing textures, she has never in my entire life seen my voluntary wear makeup.
I put a lot of thought into the gifts I give. I shop through the year, never leaving things to the last minute. I keep a list on my phone of things people in my life mention they like or would buy for themselves if they could justify the spending.
I know I shouldn’t hold other people to the same standards I hold myself to. I know I should have just sucked it up and acted my heart out and quietly donated the dress later. But I could use some perspective and maybe some advice. Reddit, am I the asshole for hating the gifts my mother gives me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 81,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 86,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
RIGHT
|
i4s7ReZpcoOuL6y6dFh1L0vIl9udpld2
|
axvu4a
|
{
"description": "reporting a coworker for vaping inside",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for reporting a coworker for vaping inside?
|
Leaving out identifying details and trying to only provide bare bones of what happened due to the nature of where I work. Please let me know if anything is unclear.
I witnesses one of my coworkers (technically my direct superior) vaping indoors at our place of work twice. Once was at the reception desk, where patrons/customers would have been exposed to it had any walked it. The smell lingered for a good while since it just smelled of tobacco. The second time was in a room where biological specimens are processed. When I walked in the smell hit me like a slap in the face, as though they had been “hot boxing” in there.
Today I contacted one of the higher up managers to report the incidents, and requested to remain anonymous. I was talking about how angry I was that my coworker would do this, as our professor requires real dedication and their display of carelessness let me down, and my friend said I was too uptight and was an asshole for reporting it. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
cAbwzHkGEbx5y1Mm4ubbSO3rtMozdT9X
|
b4ezyo
|
{
"description": "bailing on plans with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for bailing on plans with a friend?
|
Sorry for any formatting issues, on mobile. So lately due to me leaving my hometown soon my friends have been trying to hang out with me before I go. BFF asks me and my husband to go on a double date with her and her SO. We agree, leave the plans in her hands as most of the time we invite her places and we know her SO is picky as hell about doing things and often makes excuses why he can’t hang out.
No plans are made to do anything specific and on the day of husband and I go out to eat for dinner. I let BFF know about an hour beforehand that we’ll be in town after then so once she’s done with chores and stuff they can meet us to do whatever. All cool, an hour later we’re done, she’s just finishing up and says she’ll be there in an hour. Cool, we waste time, then ask if she’s left yet. She’s on her way! Then 20 minutes later she says she’s running behind because her SO isn’t ready yet. This is where I get annoyed.
Her SO is often late to plans and when they’re together it causes her to be late too. I could care less about spending time with SO, he’s not me or my husbands favorite person, but we put up with the antics in order to make BFF happy because she likes when we all hang out together. I figure it’ll take at most 15 minutes to get ready, but 15 minutes and a text later she’s saying SO is doing his hair, he somehow has no idea how long it’ll take, and she’s apologizing saying it’s her fault that we’ve been waiting so long.
At this point we’ve been waiting on them for over an hour in town since she had originally said she was leaving, not doing anything because we have no idea what they want to do. (we live in a small town so if we were to go waste time doing an activity, like say a movie, then we couldn’t see it with them)
So with no foreseeable time that they’ll show up at all I text BFF back and say don’t worry about hanging out, it’s getting late, we’re sleepy, we can get together some other time. Now I’m being ignored.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ZDsafvjRPIG9dv3EEUeHnhw0Tkg6ZDub
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b0up7w
|
{
"description": "not wanting to visit my grandfather",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Wanting to Visit My Grandfather
|
So, I'm in college and my spring break is coming up. I had been making plans with some out of town friends, but my dad found out his father's kidney disease might be in its final stages. My dad is from Costa Rica, and most of his family, father included, live there. My dad planned to go visit him at the end of the month, and asked me if I wanted to go with him.
The problem is, I don't have much of a connection with my dad's family. The distance and language barrier has kept me from really being able to do much, and when I was in middle school my parents divorced and the court said that I couldn't leave the state with my dad (rough divorce where my mom pulled a lot of shit against him to make it worse on his side).
After thinking over the decision for a couple days, and talking about it with my therapist, I decided I didn't want to go. When I told my dad why I didn't want to, he was upset (which makes sense) and ultimately, I told him I would go since I didn't want him to get more upset, and now we're having to stress over figuring out the logistics of staying in the country for a week without staying at his parents' house (one of his brothers lives next door and the two don't get along, so my dad doesn't want to see his brother more than he has to.)
We're leaving on the 29th and coming back April 5th. I'm not really looking forward to the trip, but I haven't said anything to my dad. So, I think I'm probably the asshole here, but, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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RIGHT
|
rhfU2BSTtNZc4BdpzMKNkXKuEsQxn8CV
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aq20tb
|
{
"description": "waiting to tell my friend I was dating his old crush",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for waiting to tell my friend I was dating his old crush?
|
So, I’m in high school and over the past couple of years I’ve gotten a lot closer to my good friend, who I’ll call A. Around that time I started eating with his friend group at lunch, and now we all frequently hang out together outside of school. He confided in me at the start of last year that he used to have a crush on a girl in our group, B. He asked her out and she turned him down. 8 months later, he tells our group he’s starting to develop feelings for a girl outside our group. Soon after this, B gets a crush on me, and we start talking a lot more and eventually begin dating. Wanting to test the waters of our relationship before revealing it to the group, we wait to tell everyone until we’re two and a half months into our relationship. Everyone seems to have a positive, if not surprised reaction initially.
The next week, A pulls me aside and tells me he was hurt that I didn’t tell him sooner, and that he thought we were closer. Moreover, he seems to think I had an obligation to let him know, since he’d had his crush on B for a long time. I don’t agree that my decision to wait has any bearing on our friendship, since it’s a personal choice. I assumed his feelings for her were over; it had been months since B rejected him, and he now has a crush on a different girl.
Soon, a mutual friend starts a rumor that B and I have been dating for 5 months- double the actual time. I find out that A believes this lie, and he goes so far as to argue that I’m wrong about my own relationship length. I’m really hurt that he wouldn’t believe me. I tell him it makes me feel uncomfortable that he’s partaking in the rumors and he gives an apology didn’t seem sincere. He later told me he wasn’t sure who to believe because I had already violated his trust by not sharing about the relationship with B.
Did I violate his trust by waiting to tell him? Am I in the wrong for not giving him a heads up? AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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sl5XtKluTjqXmKuYQEP6o2rwO9I97PBe
|
aitfgy
| null |
AITA First Kiss to this
|
So I'm a total piece of shit. Let's start this out with a little bit of backstory. I'm (27M)
When I was 10 my parents split up I lived with my dad. At the age of 11 I moved to a new town and started hanging out with a new friend let's call him Joe. Well Joe and I hung out everyday all summer then he invited me over to his cousin's house where I met let's call her Jenn. We went over to Jenns place and hung out.
A couple years pass by I'm now 13 and I think Jenn is really hot! I ask her out and she says yes. We hold hands and what not she was my first kiss! We dated for all of 2 months but talked all the way through highschool. Never hooked up with her or anything like that.
After highschool we rarely ever talked. Well a couple years ago we added each other on snapchat still never talked. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago. She sent me a snap and we started talking a lot! Like 200-300 text a day.
We're talking and talking and she brings up how she's married and I respect that then she starts complaining about how they always fight and I suggest ways to help. Well that doesn't help at all!
We keep talking and she says " I miss you, you were always so nice" we start flirting and I don't think anything of it until last week when she invited me over on a Monday she has off work and she knows I don't have school until the afternoon.
I know I should never of went but I'm like it would be nice to catch up over coffee or lunch. We end up cuddling on her couch all morning before I have to go to school. Later that day she ask me to come over again this coming Monday and to bring protection. I'm torn on what to do because I've always thought she was gorgeous.
I know I'm probably missing details I'm sitting here at work writing this.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
O4USJGajxwl0QUOOVF4vZWNb7OFcQrfV
|
b2yzop
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that the reason why he can't get into a relationship with a woman is because he smells bad",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I told my friend that the reason why he can't get into a relationship with a woman is because he smells bad?
|
He's a good looking guy and is very kind. He's a great friend. It just so happens that he does not shower too often. I've joked with him in the past about stinking when it was really bad. I really think this is the issue but don't want to insult the guy.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5rmyFNFKqwbNIfhmD008BDrXMNNBi64B
|
9ueexx
|
{
"description": "deciding to leave my girlfriend of one year because she led on another guy for months? even though they never met in person and she never showed feelings",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for deciding to leave my girlfriend of one year because she led on another guy for months? Even though they never met in person and she never showed feelings?
|
I’m (21M) and she is (21F) we were dating for about a year when one night when she was at a party she posted a picture on Instagram of her and her friend doing a pose. Nothing abnormal since she’s very social and fills her weekends with plans with friends. But someone who I’ve heard their name before commented “my boo get it “. From my understanding she’s only mentioned him a couple times in the past as a close friend who attends college about a hour away. But this comment troubled me so I dug deeper into it, keep in mind while I’m doing this. She’s at the party.
A little bit of backstory, we broke up and got back together 3 times and this time has been going on for about 2 months. No one knows about us right now because her parents don’t like me for a reason I won’t get into now. But basically we’re in secrecy from her friends and family. This plays into this story later
I had a friend who was also friends with the guy dm the guy asking if he and my girlfriend at the time were dating or had anything romantic going on. My friend saved all the messages thru the conversation and this is the transcript. We”ll call the other guy (jack)
This is the transcript
Friend - Do u and (my girlfriend) have a thing I saw your insta comment
Jack - Idk ask her
idk if she wants to have sum
Friend - why do u say that
wait hold up lemme ask u this do u guys flirt and stuff compliments hearts i loves u and everything
Jack - yeah
we have talks about us and says she likes where we are rn but idek where we are rn
Friend - that’s not fair u need to have a serious talk with her about this
Jack- i try and when i do she says that we already talked about this and i tell her that if we’re not gonna be something more then i’m not gonna wait around and stuff
Friend- what does she say when u say that
Jack - She’s like we went over this already or goes. “Ooo all you want is a relationship with me and nothing else”
Friend- tf is she trying to get at when she says that like duh obviously u want something with her but she like won’t take u or whatever and when u try to talk about a relationship she barely says anything
why don’t u ask her why she does that to u it’s not fair and u seem so down about this i hate it
Jack - Ooo and when I say that stuff she says it’s bc it’s hard for us to hangout but like I always ask when she’s free and then I see her out with other people
sounds like a lie since she’s always with other people
Friend - does she have feelings for you
Jack - The thing is I’m pretty sure she has them Haven’t really asked her bc I think it’s a mutual thing
Friend - wdym it’s a mutual thing and how are u sure that she has them when u haven’t asked like how has she made it clear
Jack - we just both know it it’s just not spoken
After getting that information I was extremely upset and felt that was cheating. She basically led this guy on never telling him she was with someone. She said she said I love you to him in a caring way since they have been friends for years but he obviously wanted a relationship and was taking it in a romantic way. She apologized and cried and said sorry for not telling me and for not being clear with him but she insists she didn’t cheat because she never thought of him anything more then a friend. What troubles me is what she was doing to make him think they were at that level where he could post that publicly on her Instagram. I told her how it looked to me and she had a track record of hiding small and big things from me and she said she just didn’t think this was a big deal so she didn’t tell me. What’s worse is after the confrontation she told him via text that she didn’t have feelings for him and the guy completely ghosted her. That just makes me think she must of been leading him on pretty hard. Then she started crying to me saying how she’s sad she lost him as a friend and how much he meant to her and how she’s really hurt and wish’s this situation could of gone differently. She blames me for losing him as a friend. I got sick of it and told her I needed a couple days of space. During that time , she never apologized again. Never tried to contact me to plea. She just was quiet and then when I did confront her again she begged me not to leave saying she needs me and I said we need to take a couple days break
She constantly tells me how me keeping her waiting for a answer if I’m going to leave her is hurtful to her and how I’m being mean etc. she’s said how I haven’t said “I love you” to her in awhile and just has been guilting me a lot. Yesterday she told me how she held back tears all day and how I’m hurting her so much.
I’ve decided to leave her and I will tonight when I meet with her but I feel incredibly shitty because of the way she’s said I made her feel. Am I overreacting? Is this cheating? They never met and she never expressed she had feelings for him. She said she just didn’t know how to clearly tell him and she thought he took the hints. She didn’t want to lose the friendship she had with him by telling him she was with someone. But at the same time she shouldn’t of hid it from me and let it get to that level. She broke my trust and I just can’t think of her the same again. I can’t help but feel incredibly bad for this and I feel like I’m the guilty one
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
QCuY3EVIext5cucl0xYU7EmjyXRooP8q
|
b7twju
|
{
"description": "having bright headlights",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for having bright headlights?
|
I have a two year old truck, with the original headlights. Sometimes when I pass other cars on the highway they flash me their high beams, so to show them my high beams aren't on, I will often flash them back.
I did this when my girlfriend was in the car last night and she flipped. She made me drop her off and isn't talking to me now. I told her it wasn't my fault that my lights are bright, and that the other cars shouldn't be flashing me if they don't expect to get flashed back.
My roommate said there is nothing wrong, and he does it too, but she is still really pissed about it. So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
OkHzRT810WdCz7JPBd5igCYSbLPlKsxZ
|
b014lg
|
{
"description": "being to lock out my roommates of the wifi to keep their noise down",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA If I were to lock out my roommates of the wifi to keep their noise down?
|
Hi,
I'm currently in a situation with 2 of my 5 roommates where they are up playing Fortnite (which in and of itself isn't an issue) until 2-3 AM. The problem comes in is that they yell constantly during that time. I don't have an issue with it during a certain time of the day but at this point it is getting kind of ridiculous.
So, as the sole controller of the router and internet service to the house, I was debating with my other 2 roommates on whether I should turn off wifi access after certain time so that they can't play Fortnite until late and keep everyone up.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
RYTDyFO9JOrC1VSHirAbPW6UhQfUwJa6
|
b6qfjn
|
{
"description": "not wanting to come home to GF",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to come home to GF?
|
I am currently serving in the Army at Fort Stewart with 3ID. After a long basic training and AIT (combined 24 weeks gone), I got to come home to Alabama just before Thanksgiving. I’ve dated this girl since HS and haven’t been with anyone else for 3yrs. At first, I used to make the 6hr drive every weekend to go home from Fort Stewart. However, I’m now at a point where it’s 1. Not financially feasible to make the trip every weekend, and 2. I’ve finally found a social group I fit in and go out with. This has come to a head recently when the prior weekend I didn’t come home and this weekend I refused to. She’s gotten kinda bitchy/clingy because of it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
S3FhLFLiBCbthCuDNbyBsvu7vRPYRWW1
|
akdsjy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take on a long drive for my housemate's obligations",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take on a long drive for my housemate's obligations?
|
We were both due to attend a careers event this Wednesday in London, so we'd drive down and then drive back, with a stop off point both ways with family to break up the journey, staying overnight. She is involved as a witness in a court proceeding of some kind, so needs to be back in time to attend that, potentially 9am on the Thursday.
The thing is, we live in the Scottish borders. Without breaks, such a journey is easily 6hrs of driving and she can't drive. She keeps floating options like leaving the event early, considering we'd have to leave early in the morning anyway to attend it on time (stop off about 90 mins away), or leaving early on Thursday morning from the stop off point, which would likely be 3AM.
Every option involves risk, fatigue, and she of course can't afford to pay for a train back up. My position is that this is one opportunity to network among many in a given year, and it's not a big deal to miss it, especially for how far it is, but her court appearance is something I consider very important.
I'm being made to feel like I'm the bad guy for not wanting to accommodate her in this situation, by taking on a lot of driving either after a long day (and leaving during rush hour, so possibly 7hrs), or waking in the middle of the night to drive 5hrs. Am I being unreasonable, or overestimating how bad the drive etc would really be?
Thanks
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
oCKJaig6GfdhqfWrW5TPSNgEIkkSKyTj
|
aabs7i
|
{
"description": "kissing a friend's mother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA because I kissed a friend's mother
|
I am quite good friends with a family. In age, I am midway between the daughter (early twenties) and the mother (early fifties) and am equally good friends with both. We've become like a family, and my kids call them Aunty etc. None of us are straight and we're all out.
At a party, we got drunk, and the mother jokingly kissed me. I know there is no sexual tension and it was purely for laughs, and not at all a hint at a desire for more or a crush or anything like that. Pure jokes, nothing else. So I kissed her back, we laughed more, and moved on.
Now the daughter is refusing to talk to me because I broke her boundaries. I really don't think I did, but she claims that friends don't kiss their friend's parents. This is a really important friendship that has broken down.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
l8i9PiFrmwvcA819sLtvxPVTA12Vqy3y
|
b040xi
|
{
"description": "forcing a drunk, vulnerable girl out of my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 40
}
|
AITA for forcing a drunk, vulnerable girl out of my apartment?
|
My boyfriend and I were hanging out in the living room of my apartment watching movies. I didn’t realize the front door was unlocked until around 2am when a girl (early 20s) walked right in and flopped down on the empty couch next to us. We’ve never seen this person in our lives. To say she was hammered would have been an understatement. She was clearly blacked out and didn’t know where she was. My boyfriend and I shook her awake and asked what she was doing here or if she knew any of my roommates. She groaned, slurred some incoherent words, and said “this is my apartment.” It wasn’t. We kept trying to get more information out of her but she was just too far gone. We asked if she lived in the building. No answer. I grabbed her phone out of her pocket to text or call someone for her, but it was password protected and she wouldn’t give me the password. I even offered to call her an Uber if she could just give me an address. Again, nothing. Most of the things she said made no sense, but she seemed adamant about staying. At one point she even said “don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw up on your couch” despite us telling her over and over again that she needs to go home.
Eventually, we had enough and insisted that she needs to leave. We helped her get up and walk to the door. We asked if she could get down the elevator by herself and she said yes. We watched her stumble down the hallway, get into the elevator, and that was the last we saw of her.
Once I told friends and family this story, some thought I should’ve just let her crash on the couch for the night because she was really vulnerable in that moment. She could’ve gotten lost, taken advantage of, or worse. But on the other hand, it’s not my responsibility to take care of her. She’s a complete stranger and she basically broke into my apartment, even if it was an accident.
So, AITA?
tl;dr Complete stranger walks into my apartment blackout drunk. I tried to help her, but she wasn’t cooperating. She was clearly vulnerable and confused, but I made her leave anyway.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 40
}
|
WRONG
|
ymmoDuMRqmjkEM0FWyDCNMFdrSUXVm5e
|
aykfdt
|
{
"description": "ghosting a girl who I liked",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for ghosting a girl who I liked
|
I ghosted her for a reason, and that reason is because I was moving to the u.s and she is in asia. I felt that if i kept talking to her i would just miss her more
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
JCOojfqubCuTut0TFTQMZamZVWgCdIE3
|
ba5q2q
|
{
"description": "not shaving my hair in solidarity",
"pronormative_score": 156,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for not shaving my hair in solidarity?
|
This is a throwaway.
I have a cousin who has cancer. She’s only 24 and she’s been going through chemotherapy for about 4 months. She has really long hair and at this point she’s lost enough that she’s gonna go ahead and shave it off.
She decided to do this at a family dinner next coming up soon, and another relative sent out a group text that we should all shave our hair off to support her. The cousin with cancer doesn’t know about this, it would be a surprise.
At first I thought not many people would be on board with it, but turns out everybody is (19 people). I don’t want to shave my hair at all. To explain a little bit, my brother and I are the only two family members who are biracial (black/white). Hair for black women is often a controversial topic; there was just recently a law passed in NYC saying you can’t discriminate based on having natural hair. Imagine having to pass a law for that? The natural hair movement has been a big thing in recent years; I stopped relaxing my hair 5 years ago. I mention all this to say, black women’s hair is a touchy topic.
I’ve just recently gotten to the point where my hair is healthy and it’s down past my shoulders. I’ve only spoken to my brother and one of my more reasonable cousins about this (my black parent {mother} died when I was 7). They both basically said “yeah I get where you’re coming from, but it’ll look bad if you’re the only one who doesn’t do it”. Honestly, I don't think my cousin with cancer would be mad about it, but I know for a fact others would. This may make me shallow, but would I be an asshole for not shaving my head in solidarity?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 146,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
q4L1taUflEeLq3sKr15IpLmtaKxny5qr
|
an9gfb
|
{
"description": "blowing up at my mother about my grades",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for blowing up at my mother about my grades?
|
I am in my second year of high school at the moment, and have an incredibly challenging course load. I've never really felt challenged before as a student, and always had straight A's.
Anyway, at the start of this year, I purposefully tried to take much harder classes, ie one or two grade levels above mine, to maybe find school interesting and to appeal to colleges. (looking at MIT and CalTech at the moment, heres hoping...) The workload hit me like a truck, and I had no idea how to study, as I had never had to do it before. Needless to say, I struggled a lot and my first quarter report card came back with four B's and three A's.
For context, first and third quarter grades don't go on your permenent transcript, only semester grades. My parents were understandably quite angry, and i was also beating myself up because I knew i could do better. I used the frustration I was feeling and worked my ass off to bring my first semester grades to six A's and one B. That B stung and it hurt all the more to know that it was in Math, normally one of my best subjects.
After the grades were locked in, I was driving home from school with my mother in the passenger seat. (On my learner's permit, need an adult in the car while I'm driving.) The conversation turned to grades and she said that she was proud of me for doing better in the second quarter, and she knows that I'll "work harder in the second semester." This made me absolutely furious. I had gotten less than 4 hours of sleep a night for almost 3 months, studying, playing multiple high-level sports, doing homework, for her to tell me that I had to work harder? I snapped back and said that I had worked harder than I ever had before for those semester grades, and that it was incredibly rude of her to not understand what I had to do to get them. She seemed to understand what I was getting at and stopped talking about the issue, while looking a little miffed. I immediately felt bad about what I had said because I knew she only wanted to see me succeed and get into my dream schools, and also she had no way of knowing that I had to work so hard and get such minimal sleep. I rarely complain to others about that type of stuff, I just don't see the point in dragging others down for my own validation. I waited a few minutes of silence in the car, then apologized for being a jerk, and that I knew she wanted the best for me. She thanked me and that seemed to be the end of it, but there was still a weird air in the car because I very rarely start conflict with my parents. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth and I just want to know if I was justified in feeling slighted by her "compliment."
​
tl;dr - Got relatively bad grades first quarter, worked my ass off to improve them for when they go on my actual transcript. Got them almost perfect, not exactly. Mom said that she was proud, but knew I would work harder next semester. Got mad at her and snapped that she had no idea the work I put in for those grades. Whole thing seems resolved, but I still felt bad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
kAlbIcCtHUNDj8mJqrweYY2TzURQv5Gg
|
aykavj
|
{
"description": "losing my temper with my kids",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA For losing my temper with my kids?
|
Context: I have two kids: a son (13) and a daughter (11). I share custody of them with my ex wife; they’re with her for 8 days and then they come back to me for 6. I think they’re great kids, and I love them a lot, but I have a habit of losing my temper with them. They have trouble with communicating with me, my son has trouble with his grades, and my daughter is afraid that if she hangs out with friends outside of school, she’ll screw up, and they’ll hate her (which I don’t understand). My son is a bit more extroverted, but they both hide behind their phones a lot. My kids also have a habit of defending their mom whenever she and I have and argument, which makes me feel like they kind of just don’t care about me. A few days ago, there was an info meeting for a school trip that I attended. Little did I know that my ex and our son would also be there. My ex and I have a, for lack of a better word, volatile relationship. I believe my son just kinda wanted to leave with his mom to avoid some sort of argument between the two of us, but I wanted to talk to him so I walked up to say hi. I think I may have come off as disrespectful, because I ask my ex to give us a minute in a very flippant tone. My ex didn’t like this, so there was an argument. All three of us left upset. The incident: So, a few days later, I picked my son and daughter up from school. We could all tell there was tension, so my daughter tried to lighten things up a bit with small talk, but it didn’t really work. We were on our way to pick up something to eat when my son told me that he felt the way he spoke to his mother was disrespectful. I think we were equally respectful to each other, and after putting up with my ex for so long, I think this was the final straw. I yelled at him for being disrespectful, and he called me an asshole. I pulled the car over, we both got out, and grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dared him to hit me and see what happened. My daughter got out and tried to put herself between us, and my son told me that if I did hit him, I’d lose custody forever. I lost my composure when he said that. I told them that they were antisocial brats, and that they were their mom’s little soldiers, and a whole lot of of things. It got to the point that some lady came over to ask if everything was ok. By this point, they were both in tears, and they both told me that I made them feel little and useless. Eventually, things calmed down, and we got back in the car. My kids tried to act like it was just a tiny thing, but I could see that they were still upset. I think I might have permanently screwed things up. So, Reddit? AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 26
}
|
WRONG
|
TBisWLmTmKLPJbC9M6avrmqBYTTGpMYE
|
alz22u
| null |
AITA For Snoring?
|
So, this is my second semester in school, and my roomates are cool. Four of us live in one room on campus. I got along pretty well and hang out with two of them occasionally , lets call them Sam and Cat. I don't really have much in common with my other roomate. Well call her Ann.
A month into the fall semester, one night Ann shakes me awake and tells me to sleep on my stomach, I was really dazed and confused and she told me again to sleep on my stomach, and that I was snoring really loudly. Being really confused I remember saying "Oh yeah, sure totally." And turned on my stomach. Waking up that morning I felt really bad about snoring. My other roomates tell me that yeah I snore. Cat says she doesn't mind, and Sam thinks it's funny then tells Cat that she straight up moans in her sleep loudly and Cat laughed. It all just came about naturally, so I was relieved that they didn't hate me for it.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I've been trying to figure out how to stop. I borrowed Sams humidifier to sleep with, thinking maybe it'll help somehow. I've been losing weight and have lost 5 pounds by going on the " Broke College Student" diet. And I've tried to sleep on my stomach, however I move around in my sleep and can't control it. Ann will continue to wake me up at night and tell me that I'm snoring. I've kind of resorted to sleeping late so as to not bother her.
But I've been getting frustrated because I don't know what to do about it. Yesterday she woke me up twice at night to tell me that I'm snoring, she usually taps on my arm or repeatedly says my name. And now about an hour ago I close my eyes for ten min after texting my bf and she did it again. " ____ your snoring." She just got back and was taking off her shoes when she said it to me.
I don't know, am I the asshole for being slightly annoyed that she wakes me up to stop me from snoring? Like, multiple times? My boyfriend is livid about it and thinks it's really rude of her, we don't really talk much or mesh well but I've always tried to be polite to her. AITA?
TLDR: Roommate wakes me up multiple times a night to tell me I'm snoring. I've tired to stop but am getting a little frustrated at the fact that she'll wake me up everytime, sometimes physically. I feel bad but I can't keep sleeping at 3 am for her.
Also does anyone have any tips to stop snoring?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3aS0qTG1kKtJAe6Y2xaNEAY60vqlPeMv
|
b112t1
|
{
"description": "lying to my friend like this",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for lying to my friend like this.
|
So one of my best friends got sexually harassed by some dude. This guy grabbed her ass and then later on on the day grabbed her hand to try and make her grab his dick. She told me not to do anything about it cuz then her boyfriend would find out and throw punchs. I decided to talk to the dude who did this and told him to never touch her again. Her boyfriend never found out, but she did. And she was a little bit pissed at me at first but thinks tended to cool down. Am I an asshole for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Er66FcxCqreg0mZ69J1MshqXDuUtpjf5
|
b5kxx8
|
{
"description": "\"culturally appropriating\" my tattoos",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for "culturally appropriating" my tattoos?
|
So before I begin, I'm aware cultural appropriation is a real thing, I'm just not sure if this counts. I'm Caucasian, but I'm not American, too.
I've always been fascinated by the military, and military history. I served ten years in my country's armed forces, and another five in another country's just to get a different perspective. I'm now going to university as a mature student to study history. In that time I've traveled a lot, and whenever I go places I like to get tattoos that are symbolic of that nation's warrior culture. They're always done in-country. Samurai tattoos in Japan, an SPQR in Rome, Viking tattoos in Denmark, Allied soldiers storming Normandy done in LA. You get the idea. I have quite a few now, covering my arms, back, and creeping onto my chest. None of the artists had ever had a problem doing the work for a foreigner.
Anyway, I went home with a woman the other day, a bit younger than me at the Uni. When I took my shirt off she asked me about the tattoos, and I told her, after which her mood was completely gone and she left.
Later I asked for an explanation, and she said that she hated how they glorified war, which I've heard in the past but don't agree with, and is not what I'm asking about here. She also said that I was culturally appropriating the culture of POC, a term I'd never heard before that day, and found bizarre given most of the cultures represented aren't "of colour". Although calling them POC was a bit strange, I suppose she may have had a point, but I felt that all of my tattoos were soldiers, of which I had been for a very long time.
So, subreddit, do you believe AITA for having these tattoos? It's certainly too late to do anything about them now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 23,
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"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1HR9nvNisXNn4XBFSBMG7J2pQvinNSh3
|
a1m73h
|
{
"description": "telling on my friend to his parents about a college issue",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling on my friend to his parents about a college issue
|
To start, I'm a first year in community college. I am currently enrolled in a Western Civilization course. We had to write a research paper about any particular topic relating to Western Civ.
​
My friends and I were talking in discord as I was finishing up the essay. I asked my friends, "Do any of you want to see my essay?". My one friend, we'll call A, said yes. I assumed that A would simply look at my paper and maybe give some comments. I uploaded the file into discord for him to download. He downloads the file, copies all of my work except my name, and uploads it to pastebin. He said he did this so "Now when your professor checks for plagiarism, this'll come up and she'll call you out for plagiarism". This was very funny to him, but for a guy like me with awful anxiety, this is horrible. I asked him to take it down, but he said he couldn't. I quickly decided I had to upload my file to my professor's website, because I thought if I delayed any longer, it may seem like I stole it from pastebin and just slapped my name on it. I barely have any proof that I wrote it, except for one thing; A month prior to the due date, we had to hand in a thesis statement to my professor. I used the same thesis statement verbatim in my essay. I'm hoping that could hold as solid evidence.
​
I told my father about this situation, and he is furious. He called A's parents and told them the situation. Now my friends, including A, are berating me for doing this.
​
What I'm confused on is this: Although he explicitly said that it's a "good prank", his defense is that he didn't mean to make it this bad of a situation. I believe him, I assume he would've deleted it if he had that option. I also eventually convinced him to email pastebin to ask for it to be removed. I believe that regardless, he still caused this situation and should be held accountable. I could get into serious trouble for plagiarism, and even be kicked out of my college. Was it wrong to allow my dad to inform his parents, and possibly get him in trouble?
​
Some notes:
​
\*I've known A and my other friends for years
\*I probably shouldn't have trusted A. He always pulls these kinds of pranks without thinking on me and my other friends.
\*I still do not know the outcome of my paper. I have not been contacted by my professor yet.
​
Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dTXiJjVUQCWeUl62FwOhih3fWGVAYP9z
|
b4f9qn
|
{
"description": "not moving to the pull out couch until I was asked nicely",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not moving to the pull out couch until I was asked nicely
|
I’m at a hotel with my family for a gathering this weekend, and I’m sharing a room with my sister. The room has one bed and one pull out couch. I arrived with my father a few hours before my mother and sister arrived, so I set my stuff up on the bed.
When my sister arrived my mother asked something along the lines of “I assume you are on the bed because your sister was last time”, which my sister responded to with “no, I was on the couch last time” which I am fairly certain is true, although it has been almost a year and a half since last time we shared a hotel room so I’m not totally sure.
My first response to this was that in the long history of us sharing hotel rooms I was almost always on the floor or couch, but I didn’t think it was that big a deal. I initially offered to switch with her on the second night, which they both shut down very quickly saying that last time I had the bed both nights ( I’m pretty sure we were only there one night)
I mentioned that I didn’t care that much where I was but they had yet to politely ask me to move. All they did was make points as to why my sister was more deserving of it than me, and they shouldn’t have to ask because I wasn’t entitled to it. It’s not just that they hadn’t said please or anything, they hadn’t directly asked at all. I’m pressured into shit all the time by them so while I don’t think where I sleep is a huge deal, I felt like a bit of respect would have been nice this time.
I decided I wanted to be clear about this, and said that I would happily move, but it would like to be asked first. My mom once again talked how she shouldn’t have to ask at all, and after a few minutes of that my sister asked in a very exasperated tone if I would please move. I said I would be happy to and switched spots with her.
For context me and me sister are both college age, she’s two years older than me, and have had a slightly rocky relationship most of our lives, though things have been going better lately. I know this might seem a bit childish or petty, but as the younger kid I don’t tend to get much respect and I sort of felt like I would like some instead of just backing down immediately like I usually do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
ejHy0Mb0XPuPbwnzT7hZ5AoxIDM7NATa
|
b771wi
|
{
"description": "going scorched Earth on my boss",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I went Scorched Earth On My Boss
|
So, I'll start this out by saying that my boss is an asshole. This is not up for debate, it is a statement, a fact, which not even Jesus Horatio Christ can deny. You will come to know him in all his shit covered splendor in a few moments.
For the better part of 2 years I have watched him turn my department into a revolving door of people who can’t stand to be around him. He once made a new hire, an 18 year old kid, quit his first job, on the first day, by screaming at him for what seemed like forever, but was probably only a couple of minutes. I’m talking spit flying, jabbing him in the chest with his fingers, like if Gordon Ramsay looked like Guy Fieri, and acted like Leona Helmsley.
He once got on a fork lift and in a fit of rage rammed into a pallet at speed, sending its contents flying, then demanded that my coworker clean it up, alone, because he “shouldn’t have left this lift there.” It wasn’t his lift, and he’s not even a lift operator.
He’s temperamental, rude, angry, selfish, and a bully. He’s a bad boss, and a terrible person. He demanded to be added to our work’s group chat, and then started flooding it with messages bragging about all the “super young pussy” he gets. Someone once made the mistake of telling him that none of us believed him. So instead he started sending us nude pictures of the girls that he takes home. Most of the time the girls in question are clearly sleeping in the photos, meaning they probably have no idea these pictures have been taken. Furthermore, I’m 29 and I would go nowhere near these girls. If they’re 20 years old I’d be surprised. Did I mention that he’s a 50 something year old married man. Now I’ve never met his wife, but you can bet she doesn’t deserve this shit.
I have, after almost 2 years, decided to leave my job. Now when you leave my job you are asked to do 2 exit interviews, one with the company’s HR, and the other with your union rep, and the union president for our location. I have decided to go scorched earth in these exit interviews. I have saved every shitty vulgar text message he has ever sent me, and after about a year working there I started keeping a journal of all the times he flipped out. I plan on handing these both over to HR and the union, and making damn sure they know that he’s the reason I’m leaving. This, I don’t feel bad about, I honestly doubt anything will happen to him in terms of losing his job or being disciplined.
I have also thought about sending a collection of his text messages to his wife. This is what I’m iffy about. I told a close friend my plan and he called me an ass hole. He said it’s not my business, and for all I know that’s their arrangement. Let me be very clear, I’m not planning on doing this because I feel sympathy for his wife. This would be solely because I hate my boss, and because he drove me away from a job that I actually really liked. So AITA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
UQiaMdM6PcJVMoqfGNtMHbpA5vKADYo5
|
b8btqf
|
{
"description": "calling someone fat after they call me weak/scrawny",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling someone fat after they call me weak/scrawny?
|
I haven't done this exactly (yet), but being a cross country runner, I get this insult quite a bit. Whenever a chubby dude calls me weak/scrawny, I really wanna clap back with a fat joke, but it seems way too insulting I guess.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VjarDCnRV95lJn8FlxosWNXRHR4VasP1
|
b6hhjc
|
{
"description": "standing up for my friend, despite my other friend being offended",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for standing up for my friend, despite my other friend being offended?
|
Throwaway because my friends all follow me on Reddit.
I’m on mobile currently so I’m sorry for the bad formatting. This might be a bit rambly so please bear with me.
So 8 of my friends and I have a Discord server, and we generally all have a good time and there’s no drama. But the night before last night, “Opal” went off on a rant because her mom had told her it was okay that she was bi but it was unsafe to come out, since we live in a very conservative town. This made Opal very upset and she started by ranting about how life wasn’t fair. Then, she started calling out me, “Liz” and “Andy” for having a satirical/sarcastic sense of humor. Liz and I were very confused because we are both always very, very careful when making jokes around Opal because we care about her feelings and knowing our audience is important. Plus, we never made jokes that painted anyone in a negative light at all.
But Andy made a lot of negative jokes about the LGBT community and this made Opal really mad. Andy meant no harm, but he should have been careful because what he was saying hurt Opal. He said that she was right and he apologized. Liz and I apologized profusely despite not knowing what we had done. All seemed well but then Opal left the chat. “Kyra” pmed Opal and asked her why she left. Opal then joined back and said that we were creating a toxic environment and she only joined back because she valued our friendship. We gracefully welcomed her back and promised to
be more aware from now on. Then she left again and blocked me, Andy, Liz, and my brother, “Tom.”
Before she blocked me, I had pmed with Opal for a bit and I honestly thought we had calmly worked things out and come to an agreement. I was so confused when she blocked me, especially since we had become really close. I asked all of my friends multiple times whether I had actually done something or not, and they all said they hadnt noticed me doing anything that would hurt Opal at all.
Kyra is Opal’s best friend, so she didn’t get blocked. Kyra asked what had happened and Opal said that we should all block Andy and that Liz and I don’t care about her emotions because we didn’t want to block Andy, even though he didn’t even get an invite to the new server we just made. Liz and I stood up for Andy and said we can’t just exclude him because you were offended, especially after he apologized and agreed to change.
So, Reddit, who’s TA here? Was it right for me to defend Andy and stand my ground or is Opal right to be angry with us?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FN8tJ3SZrZsiCFhPrYhwpDfCLWD7UOWV
|
b9j9fs
|
{
"description": "calling the police",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for calling the police
|
so this happend 2 days ago and my roommate still won't speak to me so I'm unsure if I'm TA
I got woken up at 2/3 in the morning to a loud crash some mumbling and glass breaking. I'm also sure I heard somthing being unplugged.
so I called the police, I had headphones in and was able to whisper my address.
They came a short while later and arrested my roommate, I came out in a panic and told them it was my roommate not a burglar and they let him go.
He's now super pissed and is refusing to speak to me.
AITA for calling the police?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Gp5fgpQ1VNov3yZHcShjBTmvkh5m53pp
|
ar2c2z
|
{
"description": "not wanting my sister in my life after what shes done to me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my sister in my life after what shes done to me?
|
hey,first time posting on reddit. Ive been watching tons of videos so I thought id try something new. Anyway, recently I decided I don't want my sister in my life when im older. Shes a very selfish abusive person, even though shes younger than me. (abuse ive dealt with is mental, physical, and sexual) Shes done so many things in my past to hurt me, destroy any relationships / friendships ive had, and its gotten to the point I have a passcode lock on my door. I know im nowhere close to the perfect person, but I genuinely believe she has caused so many of the self worth issues and feelings I have today. I know shes lonely, and I try to be nice to her, but I find it truly hard to love her after all shes done to me (that's what this started from, an argument with my mom) She drives people away, and it makes my mom side with her a lot. I do feel bad for her, but I also know shes very manipulative (even if some people refuse to see that) so I don't even know if I should trust her in that sense. I feel bad for hating her, so AITA for not wanting to put up with her for any longer than I have to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PZEQFbQM7Xsx85UhMuqaBTnql2b7uCBm
|
ajyb6m
|
{
"description": "selling my ex co-worker down the river",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For selling my ex co-worker down the river?
|
Basically to lay the groundwork for the story I have to say that work for a recreational facility that hosts group retreats and the like— but it’s a full year 24/7 facility so a lot of us choose to live in staff housing on the premises to make our lives (and commutes) that much each easier.
I had a coworker who was in charge of what we call the “challenge” components of our facility. This is stuff like a rock wall, a zip line, a giant swing— things of that nature. Last year she got injured and wasn’t able to really do the main part of her job which involves upkeep, staff training, and teaching these activities to people that come to us— because of this her relationship with upper management became strained because she was living on the grounds but not really able to assist with what was her job (we have a small 5-15 person crew so this was a massive pain in the ass)
The relationship became so strained that recently, after multiple blow ups with upper management and the staff, they decided to let her go. (All of this was done legally) As she was packing up she handed me a laptop that belongs to the company that she claims she was holding onto because she found it lying around and didn’t want anyone to steal it— though the laptop has been missing for months and she never mentioned a word about it before that moment. She asked me to sneak it back into the office so that no one knew that she had it.
The next morning I walked into the office and placed it on my boss’s desk, telling her how and where I found it, ratting her out about everything with the laptop— and they were fucking pissed.
We were friends before she started spiraling at work and I feel kinda bad that I did that, though the people I’ve talked to told me it was justified because I didn’t want to get implicated in the situation later on down the line.
Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Jb8qlp8h3Gc1GEiLruM820WH7fG5ayme
|
amzybl
|
{
"description": "cutting off a friend because I think he is toxic",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off a friend because I think he is toxic ?
|
I met this guy on an app 2 years ago, to try to improve languages (English and Spanish). We both live in different countries at this time but we immediately get along. In general I don't text my friends everyday, more like once per month and he had some problems to respect this, he didn't understand why I wouldn't talk to him (I'm not a super fan of small talks and he's so talkative he would talk by himself). We texted, video chat, call etc. I enjoyed it but I have to say I found it very exhausting as an introvert, plus he's a troubled guy, he overthinks every situations and every little dramas is overreacted.
Anyway recently he came to my country, moving in the capital, he wants to learn the language make money (my country pays more than his) but when he arrived he was so unprepared, he said he would learn the language before arriving or at last the basic and he did not. Which was extremely problematic because nobody speaks English here. He didn't look for a place to stay before arriving, so I had to host him a couple of days (which was fine I was happy to help) and spend money on a weekend with a girl he already tried and it ended up terrible.
During this period, it was so tiring to help and talk to him, he didn't listen to my advice, he was living in the street for 2 weeks, the girl dumped him he was feeling depressed, called me to talk, so I can reassure him but I was so tired of his behaviour. He found a very good job right after and things started to get better. I found a job too and I was quite busy but he kept asking for attention, for long talks, for calls, he even asked about coming to visit me (I loved the idea, i just thought it would be better for him to save money since he just got the job). He got mad I refused, he said he felt further from me now we're in the same country. I didn't reply, I knew he wanted to start a fight. So from July and October we barely talked. One day he sent me a message saying he didn't feel comfortable with this friendship, he wanted to stop but still wishes me the best. After all I have done for him, I felt met down and used, but also relieved .... he tried to talk to me again for new year's Eve but I barely replied.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bsKU14kCKMg9l3U7x1z8NRDVGz7qia92
|
ad2ha9
| null |
AITA for a controversy-riddled argument with my dad about addiction and recovery?
|
Okay, so I am 20F who is visiting home for the holidays. In fact, I’m visiting for this early part of January, because I worked Christmas and New Years as I’m now a paramedic in a town about 3.5 hrs from where my family lives.
As a little background, I am from an extremely impoverished neighborhood and was raised by a drug-addicted, abusive mom. This isn’t a sob story, but does help to explain how I became a drug addict (IV heroin for anyone interested) before the age of 16. My father eventually found out and saved my life by getting me into a residential treatment program (actually, multiple throughout my recovery). I am now fully recovered but as someone who was a drug addict, I will always be an addict. I do my best to stay away from my hometown because it reminds me of a lot of bad times and makes it tougher to stay sober.
Anyway, I am home now to see my dad. It’s a complex relationship, because he’s saved my life, but he is super not good at understanding addiction and how to treat me as a person now that I’ve been in recovery for over a year.
Tonight, we were talking about my stepmother’s shoulder surgery and the oxycodone she has been taking to manage the pain. As someone who handles opiates literally every day at work, these conversations really do not bother me. My father though, said, in front of a large crowd of my family (some of which were unaware of my struggle with drugs), “maybe we should stop talking about oxy. ss5698 may not be able to handle it.” I assured him the topic of conversation was acceptable and not bothersome, but he was persistent, “no, I know you can’t handle this. You have no self control around drugs and I swear to god if I have to deal with that shit again I might just let you die.”
Obviously, total silence. Like, I do acknowledge and understand the horrid things I’ve done to my father as an addict. How I treated him, things I said, etc.- I can really only imagine the horror he felt. But this just felt like someone ripped my heart right out of my chest, it really felt like he flipped out of nowhere.
Eventually, I responded by shouting that he didn’t understand addiction or where I’m at in recovery, I couldn’t believe he’d say something like that, and why would he expose my secrets in front of my family. I even said I was leaving to think this through, because the whole experience just makes me want to use and forget so badly. We argued for about 10 minutes before I went to my room, grabbed my shit, and peaced the fuck out of there.
So, AITA? I might be. Let me know what you think. Thanks in advance.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GZfznK8IkMl04Kq55eo51BGadCp5uqZA
|
abebiy
|
{
"description": "raising my children in an unorthodox manner and not introducing them to my parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for raising my children in an unorthodox manner and not introducing them to my parents
|
This is such a long weird story but i'll try to be short.
I am fairly rich and I have some eccentric behaviours so my children are not quite "designer babies" but they are just about as designer as the technology today allows. I used a surrogate and with IVF I chose all their genders to be male, the eggs I chose were from a candidate with a 140 IQ and she came from money herself. I have no relationship with her and she was paid for her eggs and that's it. I have a girlfriend who is with me but does not take on any parental role in the children's life. I recognize it might be weird to raise a child as a single father willingly and it might cause a weird conversation with my 4 sons later in life. The surrogate stays on for 2 years after the child's birth to breast feed I currently have only 2 sons born 1 of them is on the way. Their ages are 3 and 1 with the other being born in early 2019 and another being born 2 years after that in 2021 if all things go to plan. I live a fairly simple life on a farm outside of my city, I eat food that I grow, I eat meat that I hunt, I drink water from my own source. I am very particular about germs and chemicals infecting my child both physically and mentally. What I consider a mental poison is music, TV, movies, news, pop culture any mainstream media. I have a couple nannies for help and we play with toys and stuff with them so it's not like they are in a prison it's just they don't consume mindless entertainment. They read books and play with toys and play with my dogs and other animals around the farm I have some donkeys. I am not sending them to public school or private school they will have a private tutor until 13 and they will be sent to a finishing school for high school probably a british boarding school, from there I hope they enter into a university.
That's basically how I am raising my child no mindless entertainment, natural foods, clean water, private education.
I have not introduced any of my children to my family because before I even had children I suspected my parents were terrible parents but I gave them the benefit of the doubt because I had not been a parent so I didn't know what challenges raising a child brings. When I had my first son I realized just how bad my parents were. I became very angry and stopped speaking to them for about a year. My parents beat me, they fed me garbage food, they sent me off to shit schools and than when I got home they would sit me in front of a TV so I would leave them alone. They put me down constantly always telling me and my brother that we are useless and comparing us to other people. They would embarrass us in front of our friends and when we were at the park or something they would drive up and take us away for no reason they constantly said no to us hanging out with friends and I admit it probably did some lasting social damage to me because even now in my 30s I have no friends. I have a girlfriend who is nice but I feel I missed out on a lot of socializing when I was a kid. That to me sounds like a prison and it was life they didn't try to be good parents and they had no money to show for it. My sons are financially set for life my parents did nothing for me and I luckily "made it" in in life but my brother didn't he succumbed to drugs and overdosed at 25. My parents fucked up their 2 sons and i'm not going to allow them to influence my sons in any way. They are offended that I don't introduce them and quite frankly I likely never will even when they at the age where they are less impressionable.
So that's basically the gist of my story I can answer any questions to elaborate on anything. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
bHN4XgRZ9o3qgE9DrAK4el9dtDJeCR9K
|
ar75b4
|
{
"description": "killing all of my ex's friendships",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 35
}
|
AITA for killing all of my ex's friendships?
|
backstory, my ex (we'll call bitch, petty but i don't care), we hooked up for about 2 months before she dumps me and returns to her ex, which means i was played as a rebound. I'm a really nice person as a whole, and it's hard for people to really piss me off because i never take anyone's threats seriously but if you get on my nerves i become the most petty nightmare, and it never ends because you're officially put on the "shit list" for me.
for the year after the breakup i didn't talk to her, talk about her, do anything that has to do with anything remotely close to her... until a few weeks ago where she started talking about me behind my back.
i tried messaging her, i was blocked... i messaged her best friend, she tells me that she's been spreading lies everywhere about the breakup and me lying about a few things... and thus, i got royally pissed.
first, i established a close friendship with her best friend a her only ticked for a visa to a different country, and ended that friendship as her friend now hates her guts too.
went off to talk to another friend that she just made up with after causing her trouble too, now she broke that friendship too.
i made a half-hour long video explaining everything including screenshots of texts and voice notes and call recordings and sent it to everyone that she knows and know her.
then i decided to fuck with her boyfriend's brain until he grew paranoid of her.
her being an introvert means that she can't make friendships here, and me destroying whatever what's left of her friendships made me feel like an asshole, but a justified one.
so, i leave the question to you, fellow redditors, am i an asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 35
}
|
WRONG
|
pJEZtzc9WuGTxl6sHLxyc7zi8IH6E0hh
|
a62cut
|
{
"description": "not wanting to sleepover w/ my gay friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not wanting to sleepover w/ my gay friend?
|
Alright, so I'm not a very good writer so please forgive me for the terrible writing but the story goes pretty much like this: I've got this friend Nolan who's been a good friend of mine since 5th grade (in 8th now). We've hung out a lot and had multiple sleepovers and he's generally A great guy. About a year ago he came out as bi, if course no one likes him any else because of it but I feel like some things are weird now. Soon after coming out he left the school for some horrible disease I forget the name of but it's not infectious so there's no excuse there. Because of the fact he's been out if school we haven't seen much if each other since then but today he asked if I wanted to sleepover. I asked if we could maybe just hang out, he asked why, and I told him the truth. He then got really mad and kept calling me homophobic. I really hope we can still be friends but he's really mad. I'm really not sure, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
PXGalHG31CM4HgTxH2Aettpm5jbBozkA
|
a66g0s
|
{
"description": "telling the girlfriend to not talk about her friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling the girlfriend to not talk about her friend
|
Hey, sorry for the bad formatting or spelling in advanced. This is my first ever written reddit post.
So me (22) M and her (19) F were talking last night and she told me her friend is coming back to town for Christmas. Me and her have been living together for 6 months now. Things have been good and we live together fine.
Now the problem is her and her friend, which is a guy always seem to argue and not be friends all the time. They end up snap chatting eachother after and start talking again. On three separate occasions they have argued and didnt talk for weeks but made up after. They constantly bring stress on eachother and she always complains to me during the events. Last time they argued he was leaving town for school and they didnt talk since. After she told me he was coming back and they were friends again. I told her that I didnt wanna hear about him, and that she was putting herself in that situation to be upset again. She got upset and we didnt talk much at home. I am wondering if I took it too far by saying that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4WdD7jJJmUN1vQ9swFw53BbZ5aJfHSgx
|
a18upy
|
{
"description": "hating the Shriner's Hospital commercials with the handicapped kids begging for donations",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for hating the Shriner’s Hospital commercials with the handicapped kids begging for donations?
|
I can’t take it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pjqJwakJE8SZrrOrf1PsRnUHATOAcHFc
|
a5yogt
|
{
"description": "telling a co-worker I wouldn't date someone with a trait he had",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a co-worker I wouldn't date someone with a trait he had?
|
This is from a pretty long time ago lol but it's always played on my mind and I'm a fan of some anonymous judgment calls. It's also long-ish cos I can't tell stories in short sentences, sorry!
So I (F) was working retail in a team with 3 other guys, who I'm gonna call A, B and C for ease. I was fairly decent friends with all three of them but not drastically close - the kind of pals you get on with at work but never speak to outside of it, ya know?
I hadn't been working with them that long (I was a talent transfer from another location, been with the company for years but recently moved to this particular store) when it became pretty obvious that A had a bit of a crush on me. I'm trying not to sound egotistical but he wasn't very subtle. He was a quiet, awkward kinda guy who never quite knew what to say or do, and the crush was blatantly obvious to me, and also to B and C. He was incredibly chatty, interested in my personal life, wanted to know all of my interests and tell me all about his, wanted to get coffee, that sort of thing. I also heard from the other guys that he'd mentioned wanting to take me on a date to them.
I think I was pretty clear from the get-go that I wasn't interested. I made a point of saying in conversation that I wasn't interested in dating *anybody* right then cos my life wasnt in the right place for it. I also tried my best not to lead him on, didn't accept any invites to go out or anything that would give him false hope. But I also felt bad because we were working in close quarters all the time, so ignoring him would have been hurtful. I was friendly and spoke to him like a normal co-worker. I would say I treated him exactly the way I treated B and C, all the while being *very* clear that I was out of the dating pool.
So one evening, the four of us are at work after-hours doing a really menial task. The store was relocating to a new building so stock needed to be audited, so we knew exactly how much we had of everything. So we were literally just sat amongst stacks and stacks of stuff, counting and inputting data. By now we were all pretty close so it was pleasant, not the most fun task but we had good conversation.
B was talking about a potential love interest in his life. It's important to note that B and C were both gay, so the three of us would chat about boys together sometimes. So B is telling us about a boy he likes and all 4 of us are pretty much just gossiping about a date he went on. Specifically he was talking about how, although he liked this boy, there was a particular trait the boy had that put him off entirely. A debate then ensued between us about whether it's valid to reject someone over one trait that you don't like.
We ended up having a conversation of, what's a deal breaker for you? What would make you definitely not date someone?
My answer was, I wouldn't date someone who smoked. I don't have any moral or self righteous issues with smoking, but my nose is very sensitive to the smell of cigarettes and it's one of those smells that bothers me so much it makes me physically heave. I physically couldn't be intimately close to someone who smelt of cigarette smoke without like, throwing up on their shoes or something. It's not a judgement of smokers or anything. My outlook is, you're an adult and you can smoke if you want, but I'm not gonna be able to kiss you for a while after.
You can probably see where this is going. A was a very, very heavy smoker. The kinda guy that can roll tobacco in two seconds flat and carries a tin of it at all times. I actually did know that about him too, but during this conversation I just didn't make the connection. I basically straight up said that I'd never date him cos he smokes, without realising I was saying it. It was not my intention, at all, to aim what I said at him or anything. It just came out when the guys asked me what my deal-breakers are, because it's true.
But as soon as I said it, it became blatantly obvious what I'd done. Both B and C turned to look at A with an "oh-shit" face, and A was super red and not looking at any of us. It dawned on me pretty fast, but I didn't know what to do or say, if I'd apologised would I have embarrassed him more? Considering he'd never explicitly told me about his crush, I felt like saying something would have been more humiliating for him. So I didn't say anything, pretended not to notice the reaction and changed the subject.
A little while later, B and C pretty much chewed me out. Not in a bad way or anything, we had a good friendship and they were well intentioned, but they basically said I should have been more considerate of his feelings when I said that. I maintain that I didn't realise what I was doing when I said it, but they said it came off like I was rejecting A and I should have thought before I spoke.
So, AITA for not considering his feelings before I said what I did? And also, AITA for how I handled it after? Should I have apologised or acknowledged him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
z0SgjhZZIWQ698dESjEXLcRLHUS69xQE
|
at7ppl
|
{
"description": "guilt tripping my bf",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for guilt tripping my(21F) BF(21M)?
|
I know how this sounds. I need some insight here, so work your magic please.
The general situation is we don't live together. He has his own flat and I live in a dormitory. So most of the time I will just stay at his place, dates will be at his place, most of our life as couple plays there.
Here is the thing: it's HIS appartment. So if he decides to rudely kick me out, I will (saltily) accept that. He needs a fair amount of alone time, which is okay. If he is feeling down or sick or just wants me there, I will haul my pretty ass over there. I basically come and go as he likes it. It's his appartment and my opinion on any matter regarding that is just that, just my opinion (which doesn't feel nice, considering I spend so much time there).
So the past few days were challenging for me, to say the least. Save to say I haven't slept much either, but I still managed to be there for him, which he was grateful for (and I felt greatly appreciated, to be fair). Fast forward to today I had the most stressful day but I managed to get the thing done, so no more stress for just today.
When I got home I just felt so TIRED. Yesterday and this morning my BF and I had talked about spending this evening together. So he has been looking forward to that. But beeing right next to my comfortable, warm bed, just waiting for me, the commute to his place didn't seem all that enticing. (And if I got there, i would have fallen asleep immediatly just the same.)
I called him and told him that. He didn't seem to pleased, which was to be expected, so I said something along the lines of: "I always roll with it when you need alone time, too!" and he accused me of guild tripping me then and there in the middle of my sentence.
I know guilt tripping is manipulative and I read up on it and that is apparently exacly what I did. I acted victimised and I said that (in the "heat" of the moment) to create emotional debt.
I was and am quite offended at the accusation though, as I hate manipulative people and I couldn't stand to be like that.
Give me your opinion! AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZVZzA8UHIQ1lOyOoJKvZBcrVilaURti6
|
a2ik1j
|
{
"description": "moving a cone that someone was using to save \"their\" parking spot on a street with unrestricted free public parking",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving a cone that someone was using to save "their" parking spot on a street with unrestricted free public parking?
|
My street is usually pretty wide open and easy to find parking. There is a church nearby and so on sunday mornings the street fills up with parking. While looking for parking outside of my house, I saw someone had blocked off and reserved a spot on the street with a pylon. I thought that it wasn't very fair of them to do that so I moved the pylon and parked there.
When I returned to my car I had a note that read the following:
"The cone was put in place because we have 2 children under 2. We can't go out for more than 10 minutes Sunday morning without having to park blocks away and carry our infants.
You have shown a real lack of character by assuming your need to park here is greater than whoever put the cone there. Are you handicapped? Disabled? With young children?
Be a better person. If you attend the church you should know better and I expect you will show more respect to your community next time."
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
768x4Tahqlm1yPk3b4yziBuO5u3YwsE1
|
ajgnlb
|
{
"description": "wanting to report my friend's friend for drunk driving",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to report my friend’s friend for drunk driving
|
My [20F] friend, B [20F], had a friend, M, meet us at a fast food place. M [21M] drove drunk to meet us. This was my first time meeting M and I told B I was going to report him for drunk driving and she got mad at me and wouldn’t speak to me. She was mad because he is her friend.
I think drunk driving is ignorant and selfish so I wanted to report him for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
dV1g5DbIfia3MHkYHGNuUlePxe4WNszF
|
9ycftl
|
{
"description": "not paying for a parking ticket",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not paying for a parking ticket?
|
Me and two of my friends decided to meet in the city to get lunch. I'm about 2 hours from the city so I catch public transport in, and so my friend offers to pick me up from the station to take me to the actual Cafe (10 minutes drive or so) so I don't have to walk there. She also picks my other friend up from somewhere else. We park, have lunch and come back and she has a ticket for parking in a no parking spot. It's over $200. I look at the sign and it clearly says no parking. She then says we have to split it 3 ways since we all used the car. I refused to pay anything towards it.
She hasn't spoken to me since and is adamant I was an asshole for not helping her pay it. Her reasoning is that we all took responsibility by accepting a lift from her, and that we all should have checked the sign. Since no one checked the sign, we're all at fault. My reasoning is that if I had have driven my own car I wouldn't have parked in a no parking spot. I also would have checked the sign and not expected anyone else to check it for me if I was the driver. I didn't check because I assumed that the driver would check before parking.
I don't think I'm the asshole here but if I am then I'll help her pay it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
urB5z12MNbzyqBV9jzSe5950Se3X7LbR
|
a9r4r9
|
{
"description": "not wanting my in-laws to stay at our house again",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting my in-laws to stay at our house again?
|
Minor background: I’m having minor surgery in the beginning of January, and I was told by the surgeon that if I get sick (even a cold) within two weeks of the procedure , it would need to be rescheduled. The practice is busy enough that rescheduling could mean it being postponed for a few months, which would be a problem, due to cost and getting the sick-leave approved again.
My in-laws spent Christmas with us, and FIL showed up with a cold. I thought it’d be fine, we’re all adults and can mitigate germs spreading, right? Wrong. FIL apparently refuses to cough into his elbow and spent the weekend open mouth coughing on to every surface of the house - open silverware drawer and freshly washed dishes included. I had to bleach the kitchen multiple times because he kept wandering in to putter around (while coughing) while I was trying to cook. He’d also migrate around the living room, so there wasn’t a single couch cushion, armchair, or dining room chair that hadn’t been coughed on. Whenever we’d tell him to cough into his elbow, he’d give one obligatory cough into his fist, then revert back to the open mouth.
I’m inclined to tell them that next time they visit, they need to stay in a hotel, because this was downright gross, and due to the disrespect for me needing to stay healthy. My partner thinks that that’s a drastic reaction. Am I overreacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
kS3rVtqnoQM01JBU99tgd4Kz6xlUdfAM
|
atlouy
|
{
"description": "getting upset over a false paternity test",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 178
}
|
AITA for getting upset over a false paternity test
|
My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We met in college, and she has been my best friend for almost 14 years now. She is beautiful, supportive, kind, classy, and all around amazing as a wife.
We went through a really rough patch about a year ago, mostly due to issues on my end. However, she told me she was pregnant. I was overjoyed. She told me she would only keep it if I was 100% in on the baby and the marriage, I said I was fully committed, and we kept the baby.
As time went on, I became increasingly insecure about whether or not the baby was mine. I did the math and thought it was unlikely it was mine, on top of having a gut feeling. I was internally agonizing over this for months, and after the baby was born, I could barely even hold him because I was so convinced he wasn't mine.
I told my wife I wanted a paternity test. She was upset but told me to get one if it would ease my mind. The test comes back two weeks later and it says I am not the father.
I'm absolutely livid. I had an out of body experience. I stormed into our house and just let loose. I felt like I couldn't stop myself, I was completely broken in that moment. I cried and screamed and asked her what I did to deserve this. I absolutely never laid a hand on her.
The whole time, she's just sitting on the couch, trying to comfort the baby. This made me even angrier for some reason, so I kicked her out right then and there. Told her to pack her bags and just get out.
She calls me the next day and tells me that I deserve to know that the baby is mine, and asks me to get a paternity test from another company. I figure I have nothing to lose at this point, and another paternity test can only help me in a divorce, so we get one at the company she suggested, and I sent a third to another company, just to be sure.
I get the results from one and they say I am the baby's father. I wait a few days and don't say anything, then get the second set of results, also confirming I'm the father. I feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted off my shoulders and I can finally be the dad I want to be.
I call my wife to give her the good news and she tells me she's not moving back in. She says she's disgusted with how I acted by asking for a paternity test and my reaction to the false one. She tells me I can come see my son, but she will be filing for divorce.
I don't think my reaction was over the top for a man who thought he was being lied to about one of the most important things. I never showed any sort of violence and I was so emotionally broken at that point. I know how it must have looked to her, knowing that I was the father, but I don't think she's seeing it from my perspective. I'm planning on discussing it with her later and trying to convince her to work on it with me when I go see my son. AITA for reacting in this way to what I thought was an enormous deception?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 172,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 16
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 37,
"WRONG": 178
}
|
WRONG
|
wEoyn4yLEFsi8QYQPhIqItSY1785THJI
|
avae7z
|
{
"description": "going through my girlfriend's dirty laundry",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for going through my girlfriend's dirty laundry?
|
I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year now. Overall, great relationship. Plenty of laughs. One thing: I have a massive foot fetish and she... well... doesn't like it. I'd hate to throw the relationship away over something like that, because otherwise, our sex life is great.
My girlfriend works retail and is on her feet all day. I was at her place one day, and she had to go to work (we are long distance, so I'm left to my own devices when she has to work). So there I was, at her place alone. I was pretty horny (not that it's super relevant, but there had been a bit of a dry spell due to a recent birth control method she got). My mind wandered over to her dirty clothes hamper and remember the sweaty socks she had in their from the day prior. I grabbed them, and they still reeked - it turned me on more than I'd like to admit. I jerked off and finished really quickly (but not into her socks), then put the socks back in.
Am I an asshole for doing this? I know she would be really creeped out/disgusted if she knew, but there really is no harm at all here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
27v562KJAQFezILSFp8iZ4ZdNwSeo14A
|
b65eqh
|
{
"description": "being/getting suspicious of my classmates? I almost got kidnapped",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being/getting suspicious of my classmates? i almost got kidnapped?
|
**IMPORTANT:**
Today, while I was hanging out after school with my friends, we were still near school (a place we always hang out). a girl (classmate) came to me and said ''your brother told me to tell you that he is waiting behind the school for you''. I swear I was about to get up when I realized that my brother can easily call me on the phone? I called my brother, he wasn't answering (he was at work). we asked the girl how the guy she saw looks like. She told me and everything she said was how my brother typically looks like. She also said that he was in his car. She said that she was leaving school and he called her. At that time I thought, maybe its him.
​
My friends told me to go with all of us (we were 3+ that girl) it was weird situation, maybe it was my brother, it was just weird situation. I decided to go with them to see who that person was but there was no car anymore? I kept on calling my brother. Finally, my brother answered and he said that he never came to my school today.
​
The girl was so sure that there was a guy searching for me because he gave her my name, class and he even mentioned the colour of my hair. The most suspicious is that the girl was my classmate too, I mean how did he pick my classmate ? how did he know she knows me and knows where I hang out? Also I am even suspicious of the girl, I mean why help him? but maybe because I am her classmate she helped him? I am confused.
​
I called my father to pick me up.
​
So, i thought **A LOT** about it and i started to get suspicious of:
1: that girl that told me my brother was waiting for me. She can be a liar or messing with me, that psycho?
2: It could be a guy i had arguments with. That guy is really a bully and all his friends are really absolutely thugs/bullies. They smoke, drink and do a lot of thinks. I will even expect them to kidnap people? he also asked me out but i rejected him in front of the whole school. He likes me since a long time but he is a trouble maker?
3: my friends? i mean my best friends could do it but for no reason? a stupid prank?
​
I feel bad to be suspicious of them, really but i cant help but be suspicious. It was such a weird day, maybe they are all trying to harm me? my best friends would not but ? :( i feel like an asshole when i get/think suspicious of them.
​
AITA? for being suspicious of them?
**And Please if you think I am overreacting tell me, my heart was pounding the whole time, I am not that brave :(.**
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
uH0rECHYg8lAJuzaMRZ26IKaJCGPric4
|
b0qvjy
|
{
"description": "wanting an apology from my friend to our other friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For wanting an apology from my friend to our other friend?
|
The three of us have been friends for 10 years and they are both like my brothers. Let's call them X and Y.
In our University we have a way to graduate that you need to implement a project in a company and after a year you present the results to a committee of professors that evaluate if you are able to get the degree. The examination is very stressful and you need a public of at least 10 witnesses to be valid. So usually family and friends attend.
A month ago Y's ceremony happened and I was there but there was no sign of X.
I asked X what happened, because it's really strange that we all miss a big event like this. He said that he didn't wanted to go and I asked for his reasons.
He told me it was because we didn't attend at his ceremony last year.
\-Let's go back a year and a bit for a minute.
2 months before X's ceremony he told us that he'll be telling us next week the day it'll happen. Me an Y waited for that.
A week passed and we got no info. I didn't asked because I thought maybe he hadn't the info yet.
More weeks passed and his event was not in my mind at that moment and then I saw in Facebook some pictures of his ceremony. It didn't bother me, because I thought, well he had his reasons for not inviting me.
\-Coming back to the present in Y's graduation.
When he told me that he resented for last year I got mad at him.
Me and X discussed and we got to a dead point where he told me he DID told us the day and we didn't bother to attend, and I told him he DIDN'T told us and he didn't invite us formerly so we had no way to know.
I quit the discussion and gave him the benefit of the doubt, but later I asked Y if he assisted X's ceremony and he told me that he was waiting for the info too and that his mom saw the photos on Facebook and asked him about why he didn't attended.
I argued X a second time telling him how Y was also waiting for the invitation and the only response I got was "If you both had care for me maybe you would have asked me in the following weeks for the info."
I lost it at that moment and told him that was stupid for his part because he told us he was about to get the info and informed us in the following weeks.
Y is laid down dude and he didn't got angry to X for not going to his event, even though, it was really sad to see him waiting for X and he didn't appear. That's why I am mad to X because he got his ego before joining us.
I know that in his point of view we failed him too, but resenting us 1 year and playing the resent card is not healthy for our friendship.
My wife's been telling me that i'm also putting my ego before and that I care more for an apology to Y than Y himself.
It's been a month from that and we haven't talked to much, only for recent important issues and I fear that our relationship will break if we just ignore the issue even more.
I just need to know if AITA for expecting that apology to our friend.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
GWTSlnpZ3zEUjBS9Ea9QQzhibEb1hixT
|
ad9rka
|
{
"description": "not wanting to discuss my income with others",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to discuss my income with others?
|
I created a throwaway account to ask this question, since a recent interaction has made me question how I feel about this topic. I've included some back-story for reference, since I feel it's relevant. This is definitely a longer one, so see below for a TLDR if you prefer.
​
**Backstory:**
I (25F) and my SO (25M), have been dating for 2 years, known each other for 8. We currently live together.
​
Both of us come from modest means; my parents were very successful, and his are comfortable, but struggled during the early parts of their careers. I'm aware that I've lived a life of privilege, and my parents raised me to be humble and grateful for my life.
​
I currently make more money in a more "lucrative" career than my SO; he is supportive and proud of me, and is breaking out in his own industry. I have no doubts he will be just as successful in terms of compensation, if not more so, than myself in the coming years. There have been a few instances in which I've covered something for him financially (car repairs, utilities, some groceries, etc) because things were tight, and we're a team. He'd do the same for me! But this isn't about him, it's about his parents.
​
Undoubtedly I come from a lifestyle much different than himself, and his parents. They have always embraced me like their own child; or as if I was already part of the family. They're lovely individuals. But I feel some resentment; maybe this is in my own head. His mother has made some remarks that have rubbed me the wrong way in regards to the car I used to drive, the clothes and purses I own, and my desire to go do things like travel with my SO. (Disclaimer: I don't hemorrhage money; I save for what luxuries I want, and I save for retirement and emergencies. I can treat myself reasonably!). The standard: "Purses that expensive are ridiculous" "why would you waste your money on x" etc, the usual. I've overheard him talking to his parents on speakerphone in the next room, and "She needs to.." or "she needs to pay for x", "Why isn't she paying for x", "she has all this money why can't she do it " have come up. My issue is with the "need" in that sentence; I help my SO because I WANT to and have the ability to do so. We're a team, as I said. My SO agrees this commentary is inappropriate, and of course hasn't told them I've helped him out. I, in those moments, was offended by the expectation I need to pay for something.
​
**The good part:**
I recently received an offer for a new job, which I took happily as it's a fantastic opportunity for professional growth. I truly believe this job will change the entire trajectory of my career. Bonus: it effectively doubles my salary. My SO is thrilled for me and what this means for my career, and our future together. We have a fantastic relationship, and I'm so happy that I can jumpstart creating the foundation for a beautiful life together with this opportunity.
​
But his mother will not stop hinting at the number. We've been avoiding answering the question like the plague. The coy remarks, prying for the information she really wanted; the salary. She finally asked me flat out "How much money are you making?" and I told her - flatly - that it isn't any of her business, and I would not be discussing my finances with her. I firmly believe it's my business only; but I discussed it with my SO since the nature of this job has me traveling frequently. I wanted his blessing that this opportunity was the right one for us.
​
She is completely bent out of shape that neither myself or my SO will divulge this information. My parents raised me that speaking about your compensation, or the things you have, is uncouth unless it's framed educationally. If a friend of mine (in the same industry) asked me if I thought an offer was on-par with our experience level or an industry average, I would absolutely discuss it with them. But asking for compensation as the means to a "dick-measuring contest" I feel is inappropriate; I wasn't raised to view the worth of others by this. I would never look down upon someone for having less than I, so I won't judge another person with more. It isn't my place, and I value people by their character, not their wallet.
​
I strongly feel that by telling her what I make, she will continue to throw it in my face and make hurtful commentary about what I should be doing with the money, or what I'm buying my SO. He completely supports me on this, as do my own parents. But his mother is vilifying me to his other family, and it has me questioning if I made the right decision by choosing to not discuss this with people who will hopefully one day be my family. It's gotten through the grapevine that I'm "a stuck up bitch" for not wanting to discuss it with them, which is only adding to their resentment that I came from a different life than they did. I know it will turn into treating me like a cash cow as well, which isn't something I appreciate, but can see them doing.
Am I the asshole for feeling this is inappropriate? Am I wrong for feeling as if this has no value of discussing with her, or other family members prying?
​
TL;DR: Am I an asshole for not wanting to discuss my compensation with people, where the discussion adds no value? Only as a means of demeaning others or being nosey?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
US3U4ytpCwUxWoUuSkawKYnQoHnborEE
|
a2w2sj
|
{
"description": "wanting white kids",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITAH for wanting white kids?
|
I'm very a white, tall slim blonde hair blue eyed male.. pretty much a purebred European descendant. However I'm attracted to brown girls, like Mexicans, Asians, Pacific Islanders.. but the problem is I want to have white kids to carry on my heritage and white genes. It's not that I don't find white girls attractive either, because I do, but I've always had a stronger attraction to brown girls for whatever reason since I was a teenager.
So despite having a stronger attraction to brown girls, am I an asshole for only wanting to date blonde hair blue eyed white girls for the reason of not wanting brown children?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
u9pY9Owiv02vleXcNoG6eUKVPn9nSBE7
|
avl023
|
{
"description": "calling my dad out for maybe being an asshole",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I called my dad out for maybe being an asshole?
|
First preface, I'm completely biased against my dad.
Secondly, context is key here:
So theres four of us children, all teens/early twenties, and my parents have been divorced for over 10 years for reasons related to my dad being a controlling ass.
My mother has had two long term relationships where we have met the boyfriend and is getting married in the summer to a nice man with a good job who she has dated for over 5 years.
My dad has dated at least 5 women that we met and moved in three of them without our approval. More recently, he got a girl pregnant after dating her for only a few months and moved her in, coupled with many lies along the way.
My father's actions have lead to my two older siblings and myself all moving out and essentially cutting him off. However, my little sister (15) still lives with him full time, along with my dads wife and baby, so we do have some contact for the purpose of her.
My dad is also taking his new family, along with my sister on vacation during our spring break.
Anyway, enough back story, the current issue at hand:
My oldest sister attends university about three hours away and just had her birthday. On Monday, my mother decided that we should go visit her for the weekend, however I had work on Sunday, so we decided to just drive down on Saturday for a few hours. My mom put me in charge of informing the siblings and putting everything together as I am the only one who lives with her full time.
Tuesday, I make a group chat and inform everyone of the plans.
Today, my little sister, E, texts me to say that she will not be able to come on Saturday as she has to 'get ready for and shop for' the vacation my dad is taking her on.
Keep in mind, my dad does not have a full-time or real job and works a maximum of three days a week. So from my point of view he could've taken E shopping or whatever on literally any other day.
Due to a recent fight between my dad and myself along with my older brother, I think that my dad must've convinced her that they HAVE to go on Saturday to spite us, something he has done before.
Anyway, I want to call him out on him trying to keep E away from my siblings and I and just generally being an ass lately but there are some things holding me back:
- it was somewhat late notice. I informed E on Tuesday about an event on Saturday
- it may be E that doesn't want to go with us and would rather go shopping with our dad
I dont really know because my overarching instincts tell me that this is all just my dad being a manipulative asshole.
Anyway, WIBTA if I called my dad out on all of this? Looking passed anything that happened before and specifically on this situation.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
L8qsCRr3KEf57n4mWPzcw1OoLHJBAfbB
|
b1nive
|
{
"description": "thinking all roommates should contribute to communal things as agreed upon when we started the lease",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For thinking all roommates should contribute to communal things as agreed upon when we started the lease.
|
So I [M22] live with three other roommates, my gf [Sam], her sister [Elise], and our friend [Lana]. We all agreed when decided to live in a house together about a year ago that we would split communal cost like dish soap, toilet paper, bills, ect.
Well Elise wanted to get new furniture when we first moved in, as she's big on interior decoration and artful things of that nature. So she bought her own couches that she arranged in the livingroom, tables, pictures, plants, ect. And she arranged these to her liking (asking us for input and if we were on board with how everything looked which we were. She is good at this and made the place look nice and the rest of us don't care as much about how spruced up the house is.)
Well recently we had a leak from the washing machine, and instead of thinking to fix it we decided to try to find mats to put over the river of soapy water that ran to the drain in our basement. Well turns out that these mats would cost $120 and Elise wanted Sam and I to pay for them. I didn't object because I just didn't think about it at the time, but then I noticed that water was pooling and running off behind the washing machine as well, and I buckled down and took it apart to identify the problem. Now Sam and I have gotten into two arguments because I think we should've all split the mats (since the basement is communal and so is the washing machine) evenly like we agreed on. Money is no issue for any of us, the lowest wage earner in the house [Me] is $11.50/hr. Sam thinks I'm being ungrateful and discounting everything Elise has done like buying furniture and decorations for the house (which are all Elise's and she will be taking them with her when the lease is up.) And that we should just do it.
I am glad and grateful that Elise lets us use her furniture, but I think that we don't owe her anything special since we didn't ask her to provide furniture. And if she hadn't insisted on getting her own for the living room to match her design taste then either Sam and I would have gotten furniture or we would have all split the cost of furniture and have people pay the rest for whatever things they wanted to take when the lease was up.
My big problem was being asked to pay $120 for mats that I know I won't use after we leave, and that wouldn't have fixed the leaking issue. Sam seems to think I have no appreciation for her sister, and that I have a problem contributing. I calmly reminded her that I have been happy to contribute my own personal things like solar lights or cord organizers for the household and have those be used by everyone (but they are mine and I'll take them when we leave), but that if it was like fixing a door or repairing a wall then I think we should split it evenly. She said she thinks I'm dead wrong and went to bed crying.
Where am I going wrong here, help me please?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
In3rRKjsQezaq5ecZlr6k27LoFs4ewBl
|
aem094
|
{
"description": "cutting out a friend (without telling him) because he told me he stole from someone once",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting out a friend (without telling him) because he told me he stole from someone once?
|
Hey everyone.
I'll keep this short - I recently made a friend, Tim, and while we were talking about laws etc., he asked me whether I ever stole from anyone. I never have, so I said no, which is when he told me he once stole a lot of money - ~4000€ in total. He said he doesn't do it anymore, but I don't wanna risk anything. He seems like a good person, especially the fact that he was being so honest about it speaks for him. But then again, he doesn't seem to regret it at all, so I'm not sure whether cutting him off was a dick move or not.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
nq6PkvhX9uVhFomshKrXcbiHJh1rULjn
|
aselkt
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my fiance for not having the house clean when I got home",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I got mad at my fiance for not having the house clean when I got home?
|
Obligatory mobile formatting, Not doing a TLDR because it's a complicated situation.
Okay so essentially I live with my SO in a very small apartment and I have begun getting frustrated lately with him. I work about 10 hour days with an hour drive between home and work. He doesn't work, gets financial assistance from his parents to cover his living expenses and is kind of a trust fund baby in that he never had to struggle, but his parents at least taught him the value of a dollar. He's holding out for a higher paying job or something that he thinks is worth the time he spent on his degree and I have supported him despite his parents often threatening not to support him financially anymore. I want him to find somewhere he enjoys working and wants to be there because he's not motivated to go otherwise.
Despite it having almost been a year since we graduated, he still hasn't found a job. I'm not worried about it because I can cover our living expenses on my paychecks, even if his parents really do cut him of, but that would make paying of my own debt and student loans a lot more stressful and difficult.
Anyways, I have recently realized that despite being gone about 12 hours a day, I come home to a house that looks exactly like it did when I left. This is only frustrating to me because he points out clutter or that we need to clean via text while I'm at work (What am I supposed to do about it??)
I'll admit, our house is a bit of a mess. It's a very small space and we aren't the neatest people in the world. But honestly, when I get home I usually want to just watch TV or play a game after eating dinner because within 4 hours of getting home I need to go to bed. I'm not saying that I don't make a mess, because I do and I'm really trying to become better about it, but is it too much to ask that he tidy up for 15 minutes while I'm at work?
I'm not asking him to become our housemaid. I don't argue about it and I try not to let it bother me, but there's a lot of tasks that I feel I take care of because I'm a woman and he expects me to. The laundry only gets done on the weekends because he just wont do it, most of the time I'm the one who cooks, and if neither of us cooks I buy dinner, I tidy up on the weekends if it's starting to get overwhelming, though he has agreed that the bathroom is his responsibility (but cleaning is few and far between and I have a habit of washing the tub and tiles while I shower.)
So, I guess I just need to know, would I be the asshole if I got mad at him for not cleaning since it so clearly bothers him enough to tell me about it? Am I overreacting for being upset that he points out messes to me consistently but never cleans them himself?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 18,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
WiRzPN7Uxr1MkEMmEEWO6dG4BCST6Wku
|
b1t4mt
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help my parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to help my parents?
|
Since I was 12 or so I have helped out in my parents' business. Due to the fact that this particular type of business does not make as much money any more I help out a lot more than I used to.
I am now 25 and have my first proper job having finished college. I often work about 20 hours a week for them for no pay although I do live at home. I would much prefer to pay rent and be worse off financially but I don't think they would accept this at all.
My dad has another really high pressure job which takes up literally 100% of his time which means he thinks the rest of us should chip in and do whatever he asks and whenever he wants. This has caused me to feel huge resentment towards him. We are not so much a family as work colleagues who can shout at each other anytime anywhere.
I'm sitting here on a Saturday at the empty business. I don't have the autonomy to decide what I want to do with my day off and tomorrow will be the same. I can't pursue hobbies in the evenings and I feel like my time is being robbed.
Also this commitment has meant that I commute over an hour to work so that I can come home most days and help out.
I'm at my wits end. I plan to move out next year but worry what my siblings and family will think and whether they will even talk to me. I am thinking of going to therapy to figure out solutions to the situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
N9sUQ6UOrAHjbuFxcnNQO0fSzg1PErFh
|
af64cj
|
{
"description": "not bothering about my brothers girlfriend cheating with someone he knows",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not bothering about my brothers girlfriend cheating with someone he knows ??
|
Me: 17 (girl)
Brother: 25
Gf: 20
I live with my older brother (unfortunately) and his girlfriend of 3 years
She admitted it to me after saw her and him downstairs on the couch one night when I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom.
She says she loves him but just not in an sexual way.
She and I are close like a big sister ( more than me and my brother unfortunately ) and so I promised not to tell as I dont have the same connection with my bro.
Sometimes I go out with them to movies the far and other stuff. The guys cool but likes to drink a lot.
I dont usually day anything to my brother when he comes home cause he usually ignores me anyway.
But Im worried if he ever comes home from work early it could be bad. Should I tell her to not have him over anymore ??
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
3AIqVonLkIpS2B4oKf8q6hjoZaGdTFCu
|
b08og4
|
{
"description": "getting onto my sister's bad driving",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting onto my sister's bad driving
|
I am fairly new to Reddit and don't really know all the unofficial rules but here's an obligatory "I'm on mobile sorry for the formatting" warning.
Some mildly important info - I do not have a driver's license, never driven above 20 mph and I only did that on well lit, still days last summer, I haven't driven or touched a wheel since then. This morning was very dark and drizzly where I live and only one windshield wiper works, the driver's side.
My sister asked me to grab the wheel. This isn't super uncommon but as I said, I couldn't see out of my side, I've never driven in the dark, the lines were worn down on the road and hard to see, and to top it off I still haven't driven since last year. I said okay (I couldn't really say no considering she took her hands of the wheel) but I swerved a little bit and didn't go in a straight line. She snapped at me and took the wheel for a sec and then gave it back, this had never happened for more than 6-7 seconds, so I wasn't doing to well and couldn't see what she was doing.
You want to know what she was doing you say?!? Well, she was changing her bra in the car and getting an inexperienced shitty driver to steer while she fixed a strap. I know from experience that a bra strap can be uncomfortable but I could've crashed the car!
We get to a red light and she STILL fiddles with her bra and it turns green. I look back and see a car coming towards us kinda fast so I yell her name. This is apparently the last straw and she starts yelling at me. I usually wouldn't mind but she looked away from the road to do this. It takes a lot to get me angry but she has been sooooo fucking bitchy to me this last week.
I told her to please put her eyes back onto the road. I also told her while we were talking about her driving that she needs to stop texting and driving. A while ago we almost got in a wreck because she ran a red light due to texting. But she still fucking does it and I can't stop her.
Her retort was so dumb I don't think it even counts as a comeback, she told me, that listening to a podcast, (something I do a lot in my free time) would be the same thing as texting and driving. So when I finally get my license I'd listen to podcasts, which is apparently the same as texting and driving, and I need to stop being a hypocrite.
I will fully admit I act like a know it all. I know a lot of really random things. She told me that Im the smartest person in the whole god damn world and I of course know everything. I told her that I'm not the smartest person in the world but I was the smartest person in the car.
(Then everyone in the entire parking lot stood up and clapped)
I am damn proud of that comeback. After that lovely comment she told me she wouldn't drive me home (I ride the bus home a lot) and I'm gonna regret this. I don't regret this, she needed to hear how dangerous this was, but am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
ipfwzsozCbgEOn9t3mHPun1jEcDB7Hse
|
b4wir1
|
{
"description": "leaving in the middle of a date to give my dad a ride home",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for leaving in the middle of a date to give my dad a ride home?
|
My dad is a member of one of the local legion outposts. In case you don’t know what that is, it’s like a social club/bar type thing for veterans. The bartender knows us well enough that if my dad has too much to drink he’ll call me to come take him home.
I was out with a date last night. It was our fourth. After I got the call I explained to her the situation and asked her to stay, that I would be back shortly. I rushed to get my dad home. It was maybe 15 minutes when i dropped my dad off at his apartment. I checked my phone before heading back to the club and there was a text from my date telling me not to bother coming back, she was going home. I’ve tried texting and apologizing a couple times now, but there’s no response.
I know it’s a little rude to interrupt a date like that, but sometimes shit happens. Am I an asshole for not letting my dad fend for himself?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
H5P8YPYumuHsuK8isPrL5f9NcfCRSqcW
|
9v3du4
|
{
"description": "canceling my children's role in a wedding at the last minute",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I canceled my children's role in a wedding at the last minute?
|
My daughters are in a wedding of people they don't know as flower girls, even though both my wife and I don't want them to be. The reason for this is poor communication between my wife and her mother. The bride is the daughter of my MIL's friend and coworker, and the two of them came up with this idea and think it's a great idea. When given the chance to say no, my wife did this thing where all she does is express her reservations without actually saying no. Therefore, my MIL ran with the idea. So by the time I found out about it, it was a done deal as far as the people in the wedding were concerned.
This was months ago. Obviously, I could have said no, but it would have required a direct confrontation and cause tension between my wife and her mother. Part of me wanted to say no anyway. The whole situation makes me uncomfortable. I don't know anyone that would want strangers in their wedding, so I'm leery of these people that apparently do. I also feel like we're being taken advantage of. My daughters are essentially performing a modeling gig but receiving no compensation. In fact, we were expected to pay for their dresses (MIL took care of it). Lastly, and most or least importantly depending on whether you ask me or my wife, our alma mater is playing in a football game this weekend that I would only gladly miss for close friends and family. So, while I had plenty of reason to say no and would have been within my rights to do so when I first heard about all of this, I decided on balance, the best thing to do was to keep the peace. After all, it's only an hour on Friday night for the rehearsal and another couple of hours on a Saturday. Not that big of a deal.
Cut to this Monday, with the wedding a mere 5 days away, we get an invitation in the mail. Come to find out, the wedding is an hour and a half away. This is going to take away our entire Friday night and all of Saturday afternoon. Had I known this in the first place, I would have shut this whole thing down months ago.
So, WIBTA if, upon learning this new information, I cancelled the week of the wedding? On one hand, it's obviously wrong that we're just finding out about this. On the other, the poor communication is almost certainly not the bride's fault, and I feel like cancelling would cause her more stress than anyone.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
wp1e8Vhhtlpq3e2SWE1CYKSFUmaYbHdP
|
b6uqf3
|
{
"description": "wanting my GF's facebook",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my GF's Facebook?
|
For context, I am currently in a long distance relationship with a girl I met online through a game. And things have been going well and we're together for a few months now. And we spend a lot of time together through voice calls and other stuff. We talk about how we're going to meet each other after graduating from University. However, one thing that irks me is that she refuses to give her Facebook to me. She states that she never gives her Facebook to people she hasn't met, although I find that a bit weird since we're in a relationship. And we have argued numerous times about this. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
0mQsCdiiIx0hVcr41YdpiDIRzE9aDlaX
|
b1ybto
|
{
"description": "going to the cinema straight after a court trial",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going to the cinema straight after a court trial?
|
So I'm travelling really far to a court case on Monday. Me and my brother are taking my ex step dad to trial for years of abuse. I've booked into a hotel with my husband as it's going to take too long to travel there and back each day. The town is where I grew up (the next town over is where the case is being heard). So I had a chat to my husband about how uncomfortable it's going to be for me to stay there (lived in the town ages 5-12). The court each day if it drags on will finish at 5pm and I have the whole night to do what I want. So I my husband suggested instead of sitting about in the hotel miserable and Mr overthinking and getting worked up about giving evidence etc why don't we find something to do.
I remember sometimes in my childhood my mum taking me to the cinema so I googled it and fair enough they do have one in the town. My husband says: "oh we didn't make captain marvel yet, let's go straight away after to see that!".
I agreed that it would be fun and slotted that into my brain calendar.
so my friend came over today to support me and talk to me about how I was feeling. I mentioned that I was doing ok, and I've set some activities to do after the trial. I mentioned that I was going to the cinema afterwards. She got slightly annoyed, almost offended. She says that making these plans were "below the belt" and "other people other than you will be experiencing trauma" (my brother???) so I was to think about that before "galavanting" off to the cinema on a date with my husband like a "holiday".
Is she is talking about my step dad's family ??
My brother??
The step dad??
surely she doesn't expect me to just sit and be miserable after experiencing trauma like that in a hotel room??
Tell me? Am I being insensitive?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
lTud0PT5QAhfd5aN7WcxzyQOzHdeKk0u
|
ab8f13
|
{
"description": "changing NYE plans",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Changing NYE Plans?
|
This is eating me up. About 3 weeks ago, I suggested I got out of town with my SO and my friend to celebrate as there isn’t much to do in our city. My friend was ecstatic and they said they would immediately start research. A few days passed and I heard nothing, so I listed a few cities. The only input I got was “no beach”. A few more days went by and I was researching more on the day after Christmas and texted them and they said “Yeah, choices are hard.” That apparently lit a fire under their ass and they started research themselves - and I continued. We decided on a city about a 3 hour drive that had free outdoor events and fireworks. The only issue is we have a dog...and our dogs daycare is closed, the only family we have lives in a 1.5 hour trip one way south of the direction we’re going, and do not have anyone near who can check on him while we go. I however feel like I made it clear that the dog had to come with us or something and they started to get mad about that and cancelled the whole trip even though we had a pet friendly hotel with a downtown view ready. They said he’s the best dog ever but he’s just going to be in the car for 3 hours, and left in a strange hotel. He’s not their dog to worry about, he travels constantly, and I’m the one who invited them to our plans. This was all my planning, my car, my paying etc. They also asked if my SO was coming, like he would stay behind on NYE/NYD to watch the dog for us. The whole thing just put a bad taste in my mouth.
So the following day we discuss again and there are some events around our city that are astronomically expensive I feel like for it to be meh and no real food or fireworks. They wanted to go to these events and I said no, because I don’t want to pay that money for something like that in my own city. We looked around for free events before realizing that we had been invited to a massive house party by my SOs fraternity brothers. Kegs, fireworks, beer pong, a real throwback ha. They are friends with a few of them so I sent them the info and they responded with “I’m not really impressed by them and I don’t want to ring in the New Year with a bunch of strangers so I’m going to skip out”. I didn’t respond for awhile and they clarified that they didn’t mean it in a mean way, but they’re just socially uncomfortable so I responded by letting them know again they know people there, I don’t know anyone either, it’s be strangers if we did anything else and I wasn’t gonna let them talk themselves out of New Years and they’re an awesome person. I even said we could drive separately and you could leave whenever, or we could spend some time there and at a free event too. It’s been over 24 hours and no response.
I know they’re going through some stuff right now, and I feel like I tried to be supportive but I really feel like a dick because I invited them along and it’s all fallen through. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
zEwwkI75p2PXp8bFyBgVqronsyowFYgV
|
9t6ejz
|
{
"description": "expecting my girlfriend to make time to call me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting my girlfriend to make time to call me?
|
Yikes. I'm scared to write this because I truly don't know if I'm the asshole or not.
This is a story about my last relationship. And I'm absolutely over it but I still think about it sometimes and it bothers me so I'm here to talk about it. I want to learn from it for future relationships.
Me and my girlfriend we're 20 at the time. And we had been together for about 6 months. We had just gone long distance for the summer because she was working far away. First half of the summer went fine. We video called when we got the chance (internet wasn't great there) and planned a trip for me to meet her for a weekend, which went well. It was after the trip that things started to go downhill. I stopped feeling the love. She wasn't making as much time to call me as she was before. But at the same time she told me she was going out drinking with her work friends. I don't really have a problem with that I just asked her to please be safe as she wasn't a drinker before. It's just weird that she had time to party but not time to call me.
But now we're going full weeks without talking. Texting, yes, but I hate texting and need real face to face time. So I ask her often to call and she usually says she's tired or wants to go out with her friends, or there are people around (which I get, we were both very private people and I didn't like having intimate conversations w/ her in front of people either). But the frustration is building at this point and I want to talk to my girlfriend. One instance that I remember in particular is when I wanted to call it had been forever since we talked and she said there were people around. I made the suggestion that she could step out side and sit in her car and get some privacy that way ( she lived in dorms, basically). She said that's weird. I said I don't think it's that wierd and that I would do it, but she wouldn't. I let it go.
All of this came to a head a couple times when I finally got her on the phone and told her how it was making me feel for her not to want to call me. She would cry and say she was sorry and tell me she loved me and I would break and say it's ok and we would just be sad together for a but and hang up. But things never changed. I got pretty insecure. And I told her that on occasion that I didn't feel the love and she would always apologize and say she would change things but never did. I still kinda feel like it's my fault for being insecure but it also makes me angry when I think about her apparent refusal to make time for me. IDK what to think.
Eventually she was set to come back home and I wanted to make plans to see her when she got back and she said something that was really weird to me. She said she probably wouldn't see me for a bit when she got back because she wanted to see all her friends first. And I don't mean that day I mean for a few days she said she wouldn't see me. At this point I was pretty much starting to check out of the relationship so I called her one day and ended it. She took it well and said if I didn't love her anymore that it was ok. She then said she still loved me and probably wouldn't talk to me for a looong time as she got over it. And that was that.
So my question is: am I the asshole for expecting her to make ways to talk to me? Was I asking her too much when I asked her to sit in her car so we should talk? Or for thinking she should want to see me asap when she got back? I know I was being insecure and I'm working on that but was I the asshole for putting that on her?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
vNLkoIuVlzQHBHJrvsMXb1dqd5VZxEBf
|
ab96se
| null |
AITA My best friend cheated on her boyfriend and I’m mad at her
|
Hello all, my best friend cheated on her boyfriend. It all happened at my bachelorette party when she vanished from a club (and didn’t come back for several hours — very unlike her) without saying a word to us. We all had no idea where she was and spent hours looking for her (her phone was off).
She finally stumbles home and tells us what happened. She went in a uber with him and went home with him. I was pissed that she ruined our night because we all frantically were looking for her,(thinking she could’ve been drugged, kidnapped, murdered, who knows she just vanished in a strange city) then she tells me what happened.
I tried to be understanding but her boyfriend is my good friend too, I’ve known him for years. I’m also kinda upset she did that to him. She just keeps saying “I was drunk” like that is a good enough excuse, which I don’t think it is. She wasn’t drunk when she started dancing and kissing him.
Am I the asshole for being pissed at her for her actions? She keeps telling me I have no reason to be mad because it was her decision. I was relieved she was safe when we came back but pissed at the circumstance.
Sorry if the text is all confusing, I’m still obviously processing this hot mess of a weekend
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
LffWQlxDDmrqNmIsIxiYzUD1pqKCyiij
|
ay8suq
|
{
"description": "being upset that my sister lets her boyfriend come over with very short notice",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For being upset that my sister lets her boyfriend come over with very short notice?
|
I [18F] am starting to get tired of my older sister’s [F21] boyfriend coming over on very short notice. He will just text her that he’s on his way, or show up unannounced. Often times it’s after work or late at night, so I have long since rubbed my makeup off and gotten pjs on. He will sometimes stay all the way up to midnight and I feel like I need to hide in my room if I am not decent enough.
Some background about the situation: My older sister and I have been very close our whole lives. Growing up I never felt like I NEEDED friends because I would just go home and play with my older sister. Now that she has a boyfriend, I tend to feel jealous but I try to hide this to the best of my ability. I have gone out of my way to make friends with her boyfriend so that the 3 of us can hang out. He’s a cool guy, and I’d consider him my friend. Nonetheless I always feel hurt that she prioritizes him over me. I know that’s normal, but it hurts. We really don’t spend as much time together, and it seems like she’s changing as a person too quickly for me to bear.
Tonight in particular hurt. My sister got off of work at 6pm from her first day at a new job, and I was very glad to see her. I was feeling nauseated and wanted to lay down upstairs for a bit until the feeling went away. I was already anticipating what we could do together later that night.
Just a couple minutes later she comes upstairs and asks me “Hey, can my boyfriend come over?” I’m surprised, and begin to protest, especially because I am feeling so low and don’t want her boyfriend to see me in this state. I express my concerns and feelings to her, but it doesn’t matter, because she just tells me “he’s already on his way.”
I told her that I would prefer that we spent some time together, but then she uses the excuse that she has a lot of homework to do. She told me that she’d just talk to him for a little while and then ask him to leave so she can do her homework. Fast forward to 3 hours later and I still here them laughing and him playing guitar and singing downstairs. I am currently hiding upstairs still, trying not to lose my dinner, and I’m wondering if my sister lied to me in order for me to say yes. I’m angry and lonely and I wish that she wouldn’t use the homework excuse to not hang out with me, but then proceed to hang out with her boyfriend for 3 hours.
My older sister is drifting away from my family and seems to try and get out of the house with any excuse she can. It’s mostly due to tension between her and my parents, but I feel like it is starting to include me too. I am afraid that if I confront her she will move out and never look back. I just try to not rock the boat in hopes that we can keep our relationship.
So reddit, please answer me: AITA for having these feelings? I feel like I might be a bit immature. Please give me advice on what to do next that won’t destroy our relationship. I don’t want to lose my best friend!
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
0qKzF4YrBaUGFvgl9Z6CQCGGe7CZVYPc
|
b3ju29
|
{
"description": "making a what do to if a has a ptsd attack card",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for making a what do to if A has a ptsd attack card?
|
so I have mild to severe ptsd and I wanted to make a card that I could give to my parents and other people who would like one (I'll make it optional) with tips on how to help during a ptsd attack. kinda the size of a business card.
so like a few things to do if i have one and some things you should not do when I have one.
just simple things like no touching me and repeating that it's not my abuser.
I told some friends and they thought it was to much, so now i dont know if it's a good idea.
I know that my mental health issues should not be my friends and families issues but if we are out somewhere and I have one it can be good for them to know what to do. I think?
i can answer any questions as I'm feeling this might be kinda dumb but I'm unsure.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Lwxvnb10V3gL3DRRjVnubPSIvsDzfAbG
|
ax6c2t
|
{
"description": "demanding my girlfriend fixes her apartment",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for demanding my girlfriend fixes her apartment?
|
My girlfriend and I live in different cities, and we see each other during weekends, vacations and national holidays. She comes to my place every other time, and I go to hers every other.
I love her very much, but holy *hell* the state of her apartment makes my skin crawl. She's very good at keeping the apartment clean, it's not a sanitation problem at all. However, the state of *disrepair* the apartment is in is awful.
She doesn't have a functioning shower or bath, what she has instead is a bucket and ladle we're supposed to douse ourselves with. The bathroom door doesn't lock, and she told me not to even close the bedroom door or it'll get jammed. The toilet seat is misaligned from the bowl. The towel hooks came off the door, so we just drape the towels over the door itself. The wallpaper is coming off in a few places, and so is the floor. The phone service she pays for isn't wired in, and she hasn't told the ISP.
Several of the windows in the apartment do not fully close, and during windy winter days, it creates a huge draft throughout the house. One of the window panes is cracked. Water comes out of the side of the kitchen faucet in addition to where it's supposed to come out. One of her clothes drawers doesn't close, and it's always halfway out. Her couch wobbles.
I've told her several times to get these kinds of things fixed, but she merely shrugs and says they don't bother her. However, this kind of thing bothers me immensely. I fully recognize it's not my apartment and I don't live there, but still, it's not like this doesn't affect me at all.
The last time I was there, I came down on her pretty hard after I scraped my toe with the bath bucket. I basically demanded she fix her apartment, that it's ridiculous that we bathe with a bucket in the middle of a modern city, that it's stupid that almost everything in her apartment is broken in its own special way and she just sits there like a happy camper. She said she'll talk to the landlord and fix things she can, but I kind of already know she won't.
Am I the asshole? Did I cross a line?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
SHguoHeqRle4eLqoj7o4DOFsxrMlbBp9
|
aqygbh
| null |
AITA: Made a guy change seats on a 5 hour bus ride.
|
I was almost late for the bus. Its a tipical greyhound type bus service. All the rows had someone on each side already so I sat down next to a random guy, lets call him guy A. I realized I made a mistake because he did not adjust his posture and I was touching him even as I was sitting off center of my own seat.
There were two rows of seats behind me on with a guy (guy b) and then a girl. each in their own row.
After 5 mins guy b got up and sat with the girl. They snuggled up and made themselves comfortable.
This when i made my move. I asked the guy if he planned on sitting back in the other seat for most of the ride. He said I could sit there. I offered to let him leave his things in the open seat next to me but he took it all.
I feel bad because I was late. he had that seat and had quite a set up with his coffee, phone charger, book he waa reading etc. But then again they are a couple taking 4 seats and not even using half the row.
Im onthe bus now still in the new seat. just want to know how apoplectic I should be at the end of the trip.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
vsESS70G7zap3F1Qq33zJ1soMoHv70vc
|
a6q2iu
|
{
"description": "taking a pic of my friends fiancés",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking a pic of my friends fiancés?
|
Went out with the mates a few days ago and we all got a pretty drunk.. but I was probably the most drunk.
There’s this really famous statue at this popular bar(provocative statue). Both of them(female) posed by it so I (male, with them knowingly, one of them said to “send it to me”) took a snap of it and sent it to one of them( the fiancés posing in the pic) and to sent it to one of their fiancés (the one I’m better friends with). I also but it on my snap story.
The pose was innocent, or more predictable for what the statue is.
No said anything to me about the snap story. But I talked to a friend the morning after saying how one of the couples had a bad argument but nothing about my snap story. So I deleted the story in the morning.
It’s still been a few days and no one said anything..
I just don’t want to look like a creep.
TLDR: took a Snapchat of my friends fiancés by a provocative statue. I sent the snap to one corresponding fiancés and put it on my snap story.. turns out one couple had an argument during the night.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
DPzjXDyzpG4RHjfZUtB70pu1pkOg25vW
|
avgytw
|
{
"description": "taking over an account that someone used my email to create",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For taking over an account that someone used my email to create?
|
So I shop at Target and wanted to create an account since I wanted to buy something online. I went to register my email like anyone who created a new account would and a notification popped up saying an account had already been created. So i thought that I might have already created one in the past and forgot about it. Because of this I went ahead and reset the password and it turns out someone else had created it. I just went ahead and deleted their information and replaced it with my own. I thought I was doing something right but it was brought to my attention that I should have reported it instead. Am I the asshole because I just took it over and didn't submit a report or anything?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1nBYvLcyrZGPWyVGyePMCSd3k5itcXOV
|
9u2giz
|
{
"description": "letting a friendship of 20 years die",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for letting a friendship of 20 years die?
|
I had this friend, we met in nursery school when we were three and then proceeded to go to the same primary school and high school. It was when we got into high school we became very close friends. We enjoyed the same music and films, we would go on trips to get her and we went to concerts together.
The problem was with her jealous streak. I'm not a jealous person and I enjoyed hearing stories about trip she had with other people. I first noticed this steak when I become friendly with a new girl when we were 14. At first we would all hang out together but eventually, from no where she decided that she hated this new girl, which made matters awkward but I dealt with it because I wanted to be friends with them both.
We then both moved onto sixth form colleges which were different sides of town, we managed to still keep in contact. She made new friends who I was eager to meet and vice versa. I introduced her to two of my friends. The guy she got on with, but the girl she adapted an instant dislike. I didn't think anything of it because we can't like everyone in the world, but I thought it was unfair she didn't give her a chance.
While I was at college I was give an opportunity to work in America, so I ceased this opportunity and picked up a part time job to earn some cash for while I was out there. Because she couldn't afford this trip I was doing she would shut me down whenever I mentioned anything to do with it, which in turn stopped me talking to other friends about it because I felt as if I was showing off.
While I was over in America I had an hour every evening to Skype home and talk to my parents and friends. I would message my friends to see who was free however she never wanted to know and was quite rude to me a few times. 11 weeks pass and I hadn't spoken to her at all except from the usual 'hi how are you?' as she would answer with one word and try to shut down the conversation.
Fast forward 3 years and I get in a relationship. My friend met my girlfriend and they got along which was great. However my girlfriend said she got weird vibes from her if I left the room.
This friend of mine started getting insanely jealous of the time my girlfriend and I spent together, I always invited her out with us but understood if she didn't want to feel like a third wheel. I started inviting other friends out with us so this wouldn't be the case.
So recently a friend of ours got into a relationship with a guy who the jealous friend already knew. She said he's not nice and warned the girl getting into the relationship with Him about him. So this girl didn't take the advice and the jealous friend got really uptight about it. So I tried to explain it was nice you warned her however it was advice and sadly she didn't take it, but that wasn't anything personal.
Trying to hang out with my friends became insanely hard as we had to work everything around her. If we invited her and she was busy she would get mad if we all still hung out. So in the end we decided to just do something even though she was busy and she's ignored us all since.
I guess I probably done things wrong that I can't pinpoint none of us are perfect! I suppose I feel bad as we've known eachother so long.
TLDR; I had this friend who would dislike most of my friends I introduced her too. She would get jealous of things I would do. She didn't like if our friend group hung out if she was busy. We have now basically ghosted eachother.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
ax98sh
|
{
"description": "being defensive about being physically incapacitated",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being defensive about being physically incapacitated?
|
A bit of background: I have very severe period cramps. I’m on strong painkillers, which have side effects that make me very drowsy.
I’m also dealing with a number of mental health issues, one of which is anxiety about whether or not I deserve help/special treatment (this is relevant)
So last week, I had very bad cramps. They were so bad that while I was in school, I was curled up on the floor of the common room unable to move. I end up having to miss a mandatory assembly because I can’t move. My teacher is an amazing woman and is completely understanding when the situation is explained to her.
I end up missing two assemblies, but that was last week, and I assume the situation is over.
Fast forward to today, and I’m having a really bad day mentally. I’m exhausted, and extremely self loathing, and I’m contemplating skipping lunch (also mandatory)
I skipped lunch every day last week, which has resulted in teachers monitoring who goes to lunch.
I tell my friend I don’t think I can go to lunch (I have an issue with food, and anxiety around people eating). She is usually very understanding with my mental and physical limitations, so I assumed she’d be okay with it.
Instead, she rolled her eyes and said ‘oh yeah, like you skipped assembly last week’.
I was rather taken aback, but I reminded her that I skipped because I couldn’t move.
She said ‘yes you could have, it wasn’t your legs, was it?’
At this point I’m starting to freak out internally. I’m thinking, if she (my best friend) doesn’t believe me when I say I can’t do something due to a physical limitation, what does everyone else think? I’m getting very anxious, and I go on the defensive.
We have an argument, and I say that I think she’s being very insensitive to my situation-I don’t enjoy having to miss out on things because of my period, especially since it’s for a month every week (I miss out on good stuff as well, I often spend whole days in bed when I can’t move)
She takes offence to this, and tells me about all the times she’s supported me with my mental health issues (which she has, brilliantly) and how ungrateful I’m being.
I tell her that I’m extremely grateful for what she’s done for me, and I end up apologising for calling her insensitive.
She apologises too, but begrudgingly, and I can tell she doesn’t understand why I’m upset, but I don’t dare try to explain for fear she’ll get mad again.
I know I should have handled the situation better, but it’s hard to deal with when I’m already dealing with a horrible, depressed day.
Should I have kept quiet about her original comment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
azq3yk
|
{
"description": "issuing an Ultimatum",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for Issuing an Ultimatum
|
Hello everyone, I [21M] just issued an ultimatum to my girlfriend [22], Maria. We have been dating for just over three months and have been struggling to get over one obstacle; one of her exes, Sam. Please let me know if I am the asshole for how I handled this.
Backstory of the ex:
My girlfriend dated Sam for just over two years and they ended up breaking up because he cheated on her three times. He cheated by sexting and dating other women. There was never really a period where they did not talk after their breakup (1.5 weeks) and they still keep in-touch almost daily. Before we dated or she knew I was interested in her, she bragged about him in passing. Once we were dating, she mentioned she was completely ready to marry Sam at one point.
Recent events:
My girlfriend has done a few things that I see as possible red flags. The first thing that comes to mind is when she saw one of my female friends, Elaine, message me on Snapchat asking to get some Taco Bell (the messages from her kind of gave off booty call vibes). Maria asked about who it was and I told her; the Elaine was one of my exes, whom I did not talk to often. Maria requested that I stop talking to Elaine and even called up a friend to tag-team me on the idea of cutting-ties. I had dated Elaine for a year in high school and have known her for six years. I understood how this could be threatening to Maria and decided to cut relations with Elaine. Fast forward a few weeks and I ask if Maria still talks with any of her exes (she had previously mentioned she had four exes). She says she no longer talks to any of her exes and lists off three people. This caught my attention because she had previously stated she had four exes. I had noticed she exchanged a lot of messages with a guy named Sam and I decided to ask about him. He was an ex and she had lied to me about keeping in contact with him. Since then, I have been quite uncomfortable with them keeping in contact because of how she made me cut ties with Elaine and lied to me about Sam. I have been testing the waters for about two months to see if I would be okay with her contacting Sam, but I am not. I just issued an ultimatum: she must cut contact with Sam, and if she does not, I will breakup with her.
AITA for issuing this ultimatum?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b7glk3
| null |
AITA? My "Friend" claims I am perpetuating toxic masculinity and that I am bullying him.
|
So in high school being a dude everyone chirped each other and it was innocent enough nothing serious calling him a pussy or a fag totally jokingly (he is not gay) and doesn't get mad at the words just that they are focused at him(its not just these words he reacts over anything). When this friend reacts to these comments he goes on a paragraph long tirade about how he is gonna fucking kill me and my family or something to that extent. I then proceed to respond with some serious insults because he just attacked me or everyone laughs at his ridiculous response because it's crazy.
So now people will purposely say things that are so stupid and out there and he will have the same responses he has responded with for the last 8 years with no attempt to react in a more mild fashion and I try and explain that if he just reacted in a more mature manor no one would chirp him or he would get chirped less. He then proceeds to say I'm a fucking bully and I have been for years and I have never apologized (which I havent because how could I apologize when he threatens my life) and starts crying and everyone says Ohighnoon just apologize to him so he doesn't break down into a child (he does alot of drugs and his kinda emotionally unstable, he didnt do drugs in high school but was the same way)
He claims that not all Men are cut from the same cloth, some men are more emotional than others, which is true. He doesn't just cry or pout he will type a paragraph about all of your short comings and threaten to kill you but for some reason people dont back me up when I call him out.
When we play multiplayer games he will do the same thing to random teammates over the mic and not stop yelling so people can concentrate, showing a clear lack of care for others play. All of this and he claims I've been the asshole.
If my "friend" ever just calmly said hey I dont find these jokes funny like other people do I would be fine and stop but its not even just that, he just freaks out and yells at everyone over the tiniest thing. I should mention he is not like this in real life at all, just when hes online.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
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|
b1f4rs
|
{
"description": "starting a Gofundme",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA For Starting a Gofundme?
|
So, i got fired from my primary job 3 weeks ago, and have been in an awkward spot sense then, i plan on getting my CDL when i turn 21, but i don't for a few months, and in that time, i figured why not volunteer? I cant really get another full time job if im going to just dip in 3 months to go to a trucker school in Ohio, so i applied several places, and a group called Volunteer Palestine gave me an interview and liked me, and they would be willing to take me for the two months that i need to be there, but there is a 2000$ fee (Covers housing, 3 meals a day, insurance, and any potential medical stuff). I can raise some of the funds myself, by taking more days delivering pizza, and by selling my plasma, but i decided to start a Gofundme to help raise some of the funds, and posted it to my facebook. My mother and father are absolutely LIVID that i would do this, calling me selfish and saying that Gofundme is for people who lost there homes and need medical treatment, not for "some boy who didnt save his money for a trip". So its got me thinking, am i the asshole for using GoFundMe to raise funds to volunteer in Palestine?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
gDUCJTPv4W8GXQNIaQQRWiD2jXlYhyqR
|
b16hny
|
{
"description": "posting other people's content to Reddit without their consent",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for posting other people's content to Reddit without their consent?
|
This is something I've been doing pretty thoughtless for a while now... not sure why I'm just now realizing that it might be an enormous dick move, but here I am.
Anyway, when I see something that might make for a cool gif on Instagram or some such, I'll occasionally post it on one of the popular subs. I always credit the creator (if possible). A good few of them have hit the front page. And while this is obviously a popularity spike for the person who appears in the gif, it also necessarily generates the kind of attention that a person might not want (like, not everyone wants to go viral, ya know?). I haven't had any complaints thus far, and one person did thank me for the boost, I still have very mixed feelings about the ethics of this practice. Thinking maybe I should quit doing it... or at least ask first, I guess.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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INFO
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1thhkJOHx8bUUzvbNhxQFfW3sTEcMXie
|
b7fx9b
|
{
"description": "being pissed that a friend misinformed us on info about picking them up from the airport 2 hours away",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being pissed that a friend misinformed us on info about picking them up from the airport 2 hours away.
|
A friend asked my husband and I for a ride to the airport 2 hours away. So they wouldn’t have to pay for long term parking for 2 weeks while he and his girlfriend were on vacation.
The day we drove them down, my husband and I had made plans to visit a store near the airport after dropping them off. We made this plan based on the time they gave us as a departure. They ended up showing up about an hour late without even warning us they would be so by the time we dropped them off the store which closes at 9pm was closed. We didn’t get home until nearly midnight instead of 10 or so as we should have.
When we dropped them, (on a Sunday) they said we’ll see you two weeks from today.
So we went about our day today (Saturday the 30th) and had plans to get up early tomorrow to go to said store we missed because of their bad planning and timing on drop off. This morning we got what we assumed was the check in text to make sure day ahead things were on schedule “you still picking us up?”
We confirmed and went about our day.
We then get a text.
“We just landed” at 4:00
There was no “we just boarded” which would have fixed the initial fuck up of telling us the wrong day.
So husband and I had to drop all our plans and up and leave.
Oh, and the guys car is not starting. So now we have to take my car.
So reddit.
AITA for being annoyed about this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
9yj0cs
|
{
"description": "letting my dogs chase rabbits and defending why I let them chase rabbits [NSFW] ish",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA - For letting my dogs chase rabbits and defending why I let them chase rabbits [NSFW] ish
|
I was walking my dogs and one of my dog ran off a...
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9xvdkx/what_is_the_worst_thing_youve_ever_seen/e9wuiw0?utm_source=reddit-android
I posted this response to an ask reddit question about the worst thing I saw.
A few years ago I had found the decomposing corpse of a person that had been missing for about 3 weeks. I only found them because my dogs were acting funny and had a bit of blood on them. I had thought they had caught and killed a myximatosis rabbit.
Any way I followed them to where they were going and found the body. I immediately put them on the lead and phoned the police.
This redditor then asks why I let my dogs chase rabbits. Out of all the questions about the incident, they asked this.
I then say rabbits are considered pests and are am non native invasive species and my dogs only catch ones with myximatosis. Hell I even could catch a myximatosis rabbit.
The redditor then gets arsey and tells me I haven't trained my dogs properly because they chase rabbits and says I hunt with dogs. Both of which are false, my dogs come to me at a whistle and I'm not part of an organised hunt.
They then call me a douche because they didn't like the tone of my response.
Am in the asshole for letting my dogs chase rabbits and for defending myself.
Myximatosis: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myxomatosis
Jesus, automod won't let me post.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a86ff1
|
{
"description": "throwing a hissy fit at my family",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I threw a hissy fit at my family?
|
I've been playing videogames with my family every night for a couple years now, and it's been a great way to bring my family together. About 3 months ago, my little brother [13] made a joke at my expense and we all had a great laugh about it. Something clicked in his mind that this was finally the way for people to laugh at the jokes he makes, which admittedly usually fall flat.
For the past 3 months, every day, it's been joke after joke, and they've gotten meaner and meaner. Personal subjects he should only know as a brother, things that I find deeply offensive. I've talked to my Dad about it, but he says that he doesn't mean any harm and that I should laugh along, because he doesn't get much opportunities like this at school.
He has a pretty heavy speech disorder which has lead to some underdeveloped social and learning schools by the way school has treated him. He does not, however, have any specific disorder related to his actual mental state or demeanor. He thinks exactly like everyone else does.
My Dad's been laughing at these jokes as well, which I could understand as encouragement, after 3 months it's getting harder and harder to see as anything other than disgustingly cathartic to him.
It's been like this every day. For 3 fucking months.
And it's getting really hard to feel any enjoyment when I'm at home, because I feel like I'm not welcome in my own house. I have a year and a half until I graduate high school and I can move out. I don't think I can wait that long, spending my time with the one brother I have who treats me with any kind of kindness.
Whenever he makes a joke that doesn't sit well with me, I've told him, but he'll just say "Yeah alright, sorry" and then do it again ten minutes later. Last night he made a joke about my sexuality, which got a humiliating chuckle out of my father, the first person I came out to. I wanted to scream, but didn't.
I want to pause the game next time, and fucking demand that he stops and everyone treat me with a little more respect, but I'm worried that I'll be being a dick for yelling at my brother, because this might be a coping mechanism for him.
I also might be making too much of a deal about this, or it might be just be dismissed that way.
Would I be an asshole for asserting myself and calling my little brother out on his bullshit?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5H4f8vvHY9Ky2Raos1dFdklxbKT0ro7Y
|
ao4wp1
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help my friend anymore",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to help my friend anymore?
|
My friend “Tina” has been in an abusive relationship for years. It started out as emotional abuse, but escalated to physical over the past year. Her boyfriend “Todd” uses drugs (mostly crack). I’m tired of trying to help her when she doesn’t seem to get out of this relationship.
It wasn’t always like this. I’ve known Tina since we were kids. Her dad was abusive to her older brother, but as far as I know, not directly to her. She has always had issues related to this troubled upbringing, but she used to see a therapist and was able to have a “normal” life. She had a decent job, was able to buy a house on her own, was in a healthy relationship, etc.
She had been with Todd about five years when he started using crack. Things went downhill quickly. She tried to get him to stop, but he either couldn’t or wouldn’t try. Then he started selling drugs and hanging out with other dealers and prostitutes. He thinks he’s this badass gangster, but he’s really just a little twerp trying to be cool.
This was when he started hitting her. He has spent all of her money. She refuses to have him arrested. I suspect that she’s started using drugs as well, but I don’t know that for sure.
This has been over the past year. I live in a different state now. I’ve gone to see her multiple times to try and pull her out of this. She kicks Todd out just to let him back in later in the same week.
She doesn’t even talk to me anymore. I get all the information about her from a mutual friend. But this mutual friend has basically given up on her (as just about everyone else has, including her mom), and I’m basically the only person left to support her.
My husband and I have built a nice life. We make a good income, and I just found out I’m pregnant. Not only am I tired of trying to help this person that just gets worse, I’m honestly wondering if it’s even safe for me to put myself in that environment.
Am I the asshole for feeling like I’ve had enough? Would I be the asshole if I pull the plug on this friendship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
apdwll
|
{
"description": "being mad at this friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Being Mad at This Friend?
|
There’s this girl, let’s call her Ann, we’ve been friends for two years. She started off as innocent and sweet, but then turned sour.
First off, she would be begging for emotional support, but not care about if any of her other friends needed help. Also, her jealousy issues are horrible. Whenever someone dates any of her ex’s, she would trash talk them or physically hurt them. I even believe she lies about half of the stuff she says just to get comfort.
Onto the story. Her and I love the game Deltarune. You know how Noelle likes Susie, we were talking about it. I’m not a big fan of the ship, but whatever.
Ann then asks me when I think they are I going to get together. I told her I had no idea, and didn’t really like the pairing. She kept asking me why, and I explained I don’t like seeing extremely sweet people with assholes, but wouldn’t care since it’s just a game.
She then continues to bother me about how I’m wrong for thinking that. I tried to explain that it wouldn’t work about in real life, and that people shouldn’t be with abusers.
To my surprise, she said they should, so that they can “teach” the abuser to be nice. I claimed that’s not how life works. And she was saying how it was obvious I’ve never dated. Well, none of relationships never work out and none of them have changed. Just saying.
I said how my mom dated, but didn’t get to explain my story with her. She told me to stop. I was gunna say that despite my mom being nice to her ex, he cheated on her.
Then, she started to ignore me. This was four days ago by the way. I’m thinking about not being friends with her if she keeps this us.
Her best friend told me to give her a week since she was having family issues. Fair enough.
Now, Ann calling me annoying. I don’t know what to do anymore.
AITA for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
azkpfe
|
{
"description": "being upset about not getting any inheritance",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for being upset about not getting any inheritance?
|
Awhile ago my somewhat wealthy grandma passed away and left everything to my parents. I knew this was going to happen, but my grandma always mentioned that me and my sibling would have something and not to worry, but she didn't want to decide how to split her inheritance between us all and thought it would be easiest if my dad decided. I was never worried about it cause my dad was never selfish and I assumed I would get a fair share.
As much as I loved my grandma and didn't want her to pass it was always a relief to think about inheriting a little money to help maybe put a down payment on a house, pay off student loans or just have something for retirement( I have nothing cause I've been paycheck to paycheck my whole life). Finances have always been stressful for me having lived in the poverty line my whole adulthood.
I was surprised to find out my dad wasn't going to share anything with me or my brother. He basically said we'd have to wait our turn(for him to die). I don't know if My grandma ever communicated to My dad that she intended for her grandkids to have a share, but she told us we'd have something. My dad now has a million in assets and I struggle to get by. I believe my dad has more than he needs to be comfortable, but he doesn't seem to think so. I feel like my parents are going to use all the money on gambling and vacations and we'll inherit almost nothing. Are they the asshole for not trying to help their kids out with the money that they have plenty of? Or am I the asshole for feeling entitled to some money? I don't want to be mad at my parents, I love them. But I struggle so much and suffer from terrible depression largely due to my finances that it would make a gigantic difference to have just a little help.
If it matters I also helped my grandma a lot. I visited her every week and helped do a lot of chores she could no longer do. But I didn't do that cause I expected an inheritance I did it cause she needed the help and was so lonely.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5GnUeC75en74IEDl9q0T6xuLD62UmYIa
|
au5cgg
|
{
"description": "not doing my friends art project even if they did me a favor",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not doing my friends art project even if they did me a favor?
|
Let me preface this by saying I love art.
Drawing, painting, photography, film, I eat that shit up. I'm a Junior in highschool and one of my classes is studio arts 2D, which is just pretentious way to say painting and drawing class for those of you who didn't know.
Our upcoming project is about building a solid portfolio to help prepare us if we decide to pursue art after graduation. All of the pieces we're making are going to follow a theme of our choice and by the end of it, you should have a good number of thoughtful, impressive pieces. Stressing over this project is putting a strain on my mental health. Funny enough, my art class is very cutthroat and my anxiety is going through the roof. What if I'm not good enough, y'know?
Anyways, one of my close friends "E" is cashing in a favor I owe her, by asking me to "help" her with her project. The favor in question was paying for my breakfast when I had left my money at home. I promised to pay her back but she said it was no big deal so instead, I said I'd owe her one.
At first, I was fine with helping her but the real problems arose when she started manipulating me into giving her my original ideas and doing the work for her. Sayings such things as "You're such a good friend, you'll do this one right?" and "You're so nice, do this one pleeeease?". I want to help her. I want to see my friend improve at something we're both passionate about, but she's not putting in the effort and It's frustrating.
She asked me over to help her with the project and the whole time she sat on her bed scrolling through her phone while I sat at her desk, desperately trying to conjure up some ideas and sketch intense dance poses.
( side note: the theme she's settled on was about the struggle of being a dancer, I think?? That was of her own thinking. Not quite sure on what she's going for)
After a couple weeks of trying to manage my project, as well as hers, I told her that I couldn't do it anymore. I told her that I wanted to help her but If she just lets me do the project, it doesn't really depict her own process and progression as an artist. I tried to tell her as kindly as possible but she got upset.
She told me not to make promises I couldn't keep. And tried guilting me by saying she's going to fail art class and not be able to attend a top fine art university. She's been giving me the cold shoulder as of lately and It makes me feel bad. My intentions were to never upset her but maybe I did fall through with my promise?
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
X5FWYZgpCKe3C0SG3jTvunBoq4ZYgL7A
|
a706w1
|
{
"description": "changing my mind about a gift",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for changing my mind about a gift?
|
Ok so I made a friend this year who is in many of my classes, and he has been really good for a while. I decided to buy him a gift card for the holidays. Soon after that, he started bothering me and pissing me off in any way possible. He also thinks he is helping me but he makes 1 minute things take 5 minutes. An example of all my issues with him is that I was walking to class and I decided to walk slow so I wouldn’t have to talk to him. I then heard laughing then I looked behind me and HE WAS SHADOWING ME THE ENTIRE TIME! I was not laughing. He had followed me from my math class all the way to my next class. It feels like an anchor I have to carry around every day that I can’t get off. He doesn’t think that he’s bothering me, but he has no idea how I feel. Would I be TA if I decided not to give him the giftcard? He doesn’t know I will give him one and he likely won’t be giving me one either.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xmM856vTLvWsv5vA1t99OxGxYcDPEXxm
|
9xappe
|
{
"description": "telling my father I'd only continue seeing him if we saw a therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my father I’d only continue seeing him if we saw a therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist
|
Formatting, mobile, blah blah blah.
For some background my parents have been divorced for 10 years this past September, and my mother was the primary caregiver because she always had been.
Anyways, in the last 3-5 years my relationship with my father went down hill quick. Run away train quick. After I came out to him, he basically said that we were “gonna fix the problem, and get me
help from our pastor”. I have never felt so disgusted with my own parent... but I let it go (foolishly). I tried to fix our relationship, or at least “forget” the bad parts.
In the last two years I’ve just become incredibly sensitive to the bullshit. I’m just getting fed up with his actions and how he believes it’s ok to treat people the way he does. So last time I saw him, it ended in a fight (shocker; I know) and when I left, I told him he had two options
1) I will stop seeing him, and communicating with him outside of obligingly things.
2) we get professional help to fix what I kinda feel is too far gone. (Before I get the comments saying going into it with that attitude dictates the results, I know. I’m trying hard to hold out hope.)
So AITA for imposing this on my father?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SgzC6bnhNvP0orLjMTf6hTMqkBrIi3gf
|
aux8zy
|
{
"description": "staying at my mom's",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for staying at my mom's?
|
TLDR toddler son has infected lymph nodes and is dehydrated. I chose to stay overnight at my mom's for a couple nights and now my boyfriend doesn't believe me and wants to know why we are not home if my son is so so sick.
My son stays the weekend at my mom's every so often. When I came to pick him up this past Saturday he had just woken from his nap. He was being groggy and off not his usually three year old self. He said his neck hurt and when I moved his hand he had a hard lump on the left side of his neck. My mom and I took him to the ER around 330/4 and found out after an IV of saline and CT scan he was not only dehydrated but his lymph nodes were infected. The ER doctor explained it could be an ear infection that drained to his lymph node and caused the swelling but all of them are infected he's dehydrated his white blood cell count is elevated keep him home for a few days get him a check up with his doctor to make sure everything is going okay he's getting better.
Cool okay. Glad he's alright.
It's about 730 when we get out of the ER. We head straight back to my mom's because my son is sick he was under allot of stress from being g sick and having an IV shoved into his little arm.
I decide to stay at my mom's so we can figure out her and my schedule for work whose watching him what days and I didnt want to pack up my sick kid and drive him home after that stress.
Sunday I go back home 20 minutes because I can't get his prescription filled where my mom is at different state different insurance blah blah blah. I pick up my boyfriend so we can spend time together but he's in a weird mood. Ok. Whatever my kid is sick I gotta get back.
Cut to tonight I've been at my mom's since Saturday. My boyfriend hasn't been talking to me much since Sunday turns out now my boyfriend thinks I'm being. Shady why am I at my mom's why am I not home. If my son is so sick why are we not resting at home..
If my son is so sick why did I try and spend time with said boyfriend on Sunday why didnt I get the medicine closer to my mom's . Why didn't I stay with my son.
Am I the asshole for staying at my mom's and choosing not to drive him back and forth between our house and my mom's?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AacQoj7Tb23CQtIuyiK8tJ75LNxaMqjn
|
ad61oi
|
{
"description": "wanting to spend my birthday in peace",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to spend my birthday in peace?
|
This is how last year's birthday went.
I got together with my parents, my older brother, and my younger brother for some dinner at my older brother's place.
My older brother tends to like drinking and got a bit tipsy. He does this pretty frequently and I suppose it's worth considering that he might have a problem. I'm not sure. My younger brother got sick of it and made a scene, blaming my older brother for a lot of things and also causing a bit of a scene, to the point he's saying he feels ashamed of his family. He then left, leaving the rest of us sitting around awkwardly, until we finished dinner and went home.
Stuff like this happens everytime to the point it gives me anxiety to think about my birthday coming up because there's always tension and an inevitable argument. I do not enjoy spending my birthday sitting around in silent awkwardness while two of my relatives are making a scene.
This year I'm planning on spending my birthday like any other day. No party, no dinner, nothing. It's coming up in a few weeks so I mentioned as much which angered my younger brother. Apparently it's not normal and I should organize something. It honestly sounds like it's more for him than it is for me. I just want a nice, quiet birthday free of stress.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5rzDArg080OBL0cyl0VRSfwyp5bjkQtQ
|
av8coc
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give my ex half of my tax return",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give my ex half of my tax return?
|
WA state.
We broke up and I claimed our newborn son. She didn’t work a day in 2018 so she won’t claim taxes.
She now wants half of my return since it’s going to be bigger due to our son.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
yKoJlgIZMn1avtEB2Y7BJaBlh3JTaQAL
|
b0t718
|
{
"description": "hating my depressed brother",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For hating my depressed brother...
|
I am the youngest out of three sons, and we all are very close. My eldest brother has been a great role model and a super fun person to hang around. The middle brother however... is... not fun to be around at all. He is 20 years old, living at home with us, not going to college, has a very minimal job that he works random 6 hour shifts in every other day, and has no money. Last year he got super depressed over something that he took way out of proportion (won’t go into the details) but ever since then he’s been in some sort of child like state of mind. He pouts and moans when something goes wrong, every time we try to come to a compromise on something as small on like where we are going to go eat he thinks we all gang up on him and screams “WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME?” or even worse will just yell “OK OK OK OK OK OK OK STOP YELLING AT ME” when he is the only one yelling. I honestly think whenever something happens to go slightly wrong for him he thinks that the world should feel pity and revolve around him, for example my oldest brother is in town and we all went on a lil roadtrip to a small town, while walking around town middle bro slipped on ice and scraped his knee, he spent the rest of the day moaning and using a miserable voice like he has the hardest life possible, which really brings everyone around him down. He is really depressed and has gotten help, went to therapy has meds etc, but I am honestly done feeling pity for him now. He constantly asks me to play video games with him and when I say no he’ll slowly stomp out of the room with this super sad face on, and I’ve stopped caring.
I know this isn’t really a specific situation, but am I an asshole for just not wanting to be around him even though he’s my brother?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8qsjWgoUaq0mi8hcaqPk6pzNOasom5Fy
|
a30hbh
|
{
"description": "not sleeping over at my friends' house when I was younger because they were poor",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not sleeping over at my friends' house when I was younger because they were poor?
|
When I was in elementary to high school I had severe social aniexty, which prevented me from being able to spend the night at other kids' houses.
I came to realize some of the discomfort probably came from the culture shock and different living conditions. I'm by no means wealthy, but some of my friends lived in really, really rough houses (same neighborhood, basically Detroit). It was uncomfortable to sleep on the floor, or have no AC on hot nights. Their houses would have holes in the wall/subfloor only, and was just dirty to be in. I wouldn't have too much of an issue if the house was well kept.
Bringing this up from childhood because I had a conversation with a friend over it and halfway through speaking I realized I sounded classist. I hate spending the night at other people's houses to this day, just out of discomfort.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CrOu8dvCkCd7Ej062tze9sRj3ujSsLqq
|
am78lb
|
{
"description": "being mad that my coworker didn't make me a shirt",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being mad that my coworker didn’t make me a shirt?
|
Ok, so I know that I am not entitled to anything, but please hear me out. First a little bit of background: I am a schoolteacher and we just got a new teacher in our grade level recently. My team and I have tried to make her feel welcomed and include her in everything we do. We share resources, materials, and advice. She’s always polite but answers in one or two words.
Last week we had to be at a meeting in another campus but had to be at our school first. She doesn’t have a car, so she calls a family member to pick her up instead of riding with one of us. She’s not comfortable with us yet. That’s fine. I totally get it. We ask her to go to lunch with us, but she declined. She did, however, go to lunch with teachers from another school (where a relative of hers works). All right, that’s fine, I guess.
Anyway, fast forward to this week. It is the 100th day of school and kids and teachers celebrate big by doing 100-related activities all day. This year, our administration decided to have a “team spirit” contest. Basically, each grade level dresses up and best one gets a prize. On Wednesday, our team leader asked us if we had any ideas. New teacher replies “Oh, I already made myself a T-shirt” (we know she owns a cricut because of FB but has never mentioned it to us directly). I about lost it. I’m so mad she didn’t even offer or tried to ask us anything. I am not saying I wanted a shirt for free or anything. We all would’ve paid her for her time and bought our own shirt, but she didn't say anything! So when I went to the store to get our stuff to dress up, I didn’t get anything for her. And now we are not winning “team spirit” because she’s the only one dressed differently.
I feel I’m being petty, so I don’t wanna let it get to me, but we all are tired of trying to include her and her not reciprocating, so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
1QsDwYf8itzdYaQVLLMHIA7riGPTtESq
|
acrreu
|
{
"description": "getting frustrated when my girlfriend didn't want to have sex",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For getting frustrated when my girlfriend didn’t want to have sex?
|
Ok now for some context cause I know that sounds really bad right out of the gate. I’ve been in a Serious relationship with this girl for about a year and a half and I love her to death and she has had some past traumas which make sex very difficult for her which I fully understand. We have sex from time to time but every so often we will go a very long time without any physical intimacy and I start to get very frustrated. I’ll make an advance and it’ll get turned down and I just accept it and sometimes it can go on for a full month and it gets irritating sometimes. I’ve never really talked to her about how I get frustrated about it and do my best to hide how I feel about it but sometimes the lack of physical intimacy can make me feel a little unwanted or disliked if that makes sense. Just to be clear when I get turned down I don’t throw a hissy fit I just feel like I’m an asshole for getting frustrated when she docent want sex
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kmV6nGwbHl6TVXkk0YXCYasRR8C3pAe0
|
atsccq
| null |
AITA or is he being unreasonable.
|
So a few montgs back I made a post about how I moved countries to live with my bf . I do not have any family or friends here, its just him. A few days ago I broke my hand and I am now in a cast and in pain, which is normal.
However my bf is treating me like shit. He was fine the first few days and yesterday it started. We had to go to the hospital and on the way out of the hospital he threw it to my face that he lost 300 euros just getting out of work to take me to the hospital.
We have been showering together so I can have some help washing and getting dressed. Yesterday he had the hump so he didnt even ask if I needed help, didnt even talk to me and went to shower alone, leaving ne to have to do the same ( he was being so rude I did not even wanted to ask). That shower was a rather unpleasent experience, the whole time I wad crying in pain trying to get it done as fast as I could. He ignored all this, he could hear me and just ignored it. Didnt ask if I wanted help, did not care. After this ordeal was over he asked me what was wrong so I was honest and told him that the fact he did not care to help pissed me of, and he just said " you can wash yourself " . And that was it. I dont know how to deal with this...
I was having surgery done that day ( was cancelled to a week after ) and he was not there for me at all, in fact at the hospital he thought I was looking at other guys so he told me we were going home and no one was having a macdonalds and he was taking me straight home ( I was craving a macdonalds earlier so I had asked him if we could go, to which he said yes before getting pissy ).
From then on he is making me do pretty much everything by myself and leaves me to cry alone and just goes and plays Fifa.
By the time I was done with shower he had been playing for a while, so I asked him if he could stop playing because I felt like doing something together and was bored I could not do much with my arm like that... he just told me " do something then" and kept playing.
When we went to sleep the pains got worse i couldnt get comfortable and he ( almost asleep ) insinuated I was faking it and just fell asleep.
I could consider moving back home, but family relationships are not that great and I do not know whatelse to do...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8MERzGrma6eFggSLrRDBTFdGd2M4NhAY
|
anhlbj
|
{
"description": "saying \"I believe every woman should have the right to abortion but I would rather have a vasectomy than have my partner to abort my child unless there's danger to the mother's health\" when my friend asked my stance on abortion",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying “I believe every woman should have the right to abortion but I would rather have a vasectomy than have my partner to abort my child unless there’s danger to the mother’s health” when my friend asked my stance on abortion.
|
The friend of mine who is in my close friends circle called me names and is “reconsidering friendship with me” when I said this to them.
I asked my friend what was wrong with my stand as I’m not denying anyone any rights. Like how there’s exclusivity when you’re dating someone and there’s some personal boundaries and rules with each person this is something anyone dating me needs to agree to and they can take it or leave it.
I was willing to listen to their arguments and they simply said, “men like you are the problem”. And keep throwing words.
Everyone I’ve ever dated claimed they were on the pill AND I wore condom every time. Also all of them were serious relationships that led to sex after knowing considerable amount about each other.
My friend knows these info as I’m a little paranoid about diseases and STDs.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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