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FXYceTo2PV7P5TOsCREhneQtqCwRYVEv
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b2iawv
| null |
AITA Friend of seven years betrayed me so i attempt to sabotage him
|
Me - guess who F1 - friend from 7 years F2 - friend of 5 years
Bit of backstory I got an Xbox around year 7 of school (first year of highschool in the UK) and I stared playing GTA Online when it released and I met someone on there we instantly became buddy's
Fast forward to summer of 2018 I had a girlfriend and it was pretty chill me and F1 were still friends and we had picked up a another friend F2, So I had just finished My GSCE's (British version of finals for you guys across the pond) and I had a part time job. Me splitting my time between work Xbox with F1 and F2 and messaging my girlfriend (we hung out occasion because of clashes with availability ) it was a little annoying cos I love Xbox and I loved my girlfriend so I decided to make a messenger group chat so I could talk to everyone.
We mainly just sent memes and had a laugh but then my girlfriend and F1 Stopped talking and he stopped going on xbox. I though little of it but then my girlfriend seemed to care more about F1 than me I got a little pissed off but again thought little of it cos she couldn't be cheating because we live in the south of England and he lives in the Midlands. Then I asked them both about it and F1 lied about needing to help his mom when my girlfriend told me straight up, that they video chatted all night
(She has strict parents so she has an electronics curfew of 9 pm)
Now I was pissed
So I confronted F1 about this and he said it was Bullshit and I should stop dating a lying bitch.
I wanted a stop to this right now I told him to stop messaging her and told her to stop messaging F1 so they did for a week then back to normal later that night me and my girlfriend were having sex and her phone went off 12 FUCKING TIMES and guess who it was. F1!
Most of them were messages telling her to dump me because I don't care about her and she shouldn't trust me and stuff like . I called him on my phone and he said he is busy ATM trying to calm my girlfriend down about family issues but in reality she is lead next to me catching her breath this tipped me over the edge
So I started telling F1 that my girlfriend called him useless fat prick and I told my girlfriend that he called her a dumb hoe and he thinks she sleeps around
Petty I know I am not proud of myself but it happened
Afternoon did this for a few months they still were like that and I was about to end thing with my girlfriend because of another issue but the fact she also cared more about him than me I just gave her a call told her why it was happening and hung up I told F2 what I did and he felt bad for me because F1 had been calling me names and shit behind my back and that I was in the right for what I did about 5 minutes after my call with my now ex girlfriend I got a call from F1 calling me an asshole a dickhead I never deserve a girl like here etc
Fast forward to today they are now internet dating over messenger I am happy with my new girlfriend and F2 is still funny as fuck
Amitheasshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
FC70zbSLtstUlgKlbjjEAvo6R6Z701DV
|
b6cdb8
|
{
"description": "not letting my girlfriend follow my instagram",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 36
}
|
AITA - I won’t let my girlfriend follow my instagram.
|
When she followed it in the past she went through my followers (don’t know why) and found a girl I admittedly used to flirt with. I did unfollow her but didn’t appreciate the drama of my girlfriend.
Fast forward to the last week, she (my girlfriend) asked my if she could follow my instagram again and I refused, telling her I don’t want the drama because she’ll go through my followers or something like that again and nitpick.
We fell out over this and spoke again tonight and she said she feels as if I’m hiding something, but I’m not, I really just don’t want her looking at who I follow. She can’t understand this and says it’s a deal breaker for her.
I feel as if she prioritises her friends online over me and she brought this up saying I don’t prioritise her or her feelings if she isn’t allowed to follow any of my social media and call her a drama queen for being upset that she isn’t allowed to. I said that’s untrue. It’s not a big deal at all. She said she understands that it’s ‘just social media’ but the fact that I outright refuse to let her follow me is strange. I disagree. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
NBiIHDS1AVv0qvtB0nPK0F5Jek24Iwzy
|
b8s4su
|
{
"description": "complaining to pay an extra $2 for a ride at the pier for my so",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for complaining to pay an extra $2 for a ride at the pier for my SO?
|
I’m in high school and don’t have a job, resulting to my parents having to give me my money whenever i need it. I frequently pay for my SO’s stuff, whether if it’s food when we go out or whatever it be, whenever I have a surplus amount of money to spend. A few nights ago for my friends birthday we all went to the beach to celebrate it, and towards the end of the night we decided to go on a ride at the pier. I had $30 to start off the night and spent $15 on the dinner and $5 on some dippin dots. With $10 remaining we all decided to go on a ride that costed $8. As we went to pay my SO proposed i pay $10 and she pay $6. She just celebrated a holiday where her family member had given her $300+. When she said that i didn’t really want to pay the extra $2 just for the fact that she had more than enough to pay for it, and since I don’t have a steady amount of money, i wanted to save as little money as possible to use later. I ended up paying the $2 as it wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t want to cause a scene, but now she is bringing it up saying that it’s just the principal that I should’ve paid and is calling me cheap. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
NreHt0OOipeZXBphLdxAvIqB76AWwYGk
|
a2te0m
|
{
"description": "impersonating another Reddit user",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for impersonating another Reddit user?
|
So this guy over in r/SquaredCircle is being an asshat. I made an account and shared news on that account from ringsidenews (which is the best wrestling dirtsheet by the way, we literally cover every thing wrestling related. Nothing misses our radar) and this guy JT_Diamond starts accusing me of being a shill for the website. He’s constantly burying our website and letting content from other dirtsheets (Which is posted all day everyday) slip past without making a big deal out of it. So now I’m just making accounts playing off his username to irritate him.
I never targeted him before, he targeted me. He said all we did is make “burner” accounts to share our news. Our site gets 5 million hits a month, I don’t need some mark ass wrestling fan on Reddit to boost our profile. He made a big post just to get upvoted and talked about how we were “spamming” that sub. Dude literally gets on my last nerve, so I’m giving him a reason to hate me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
ZoutmEloENX79iMD8fyIFhGIlPup12le
|
az0vs0
|
{
"description": "acting \"normal\" bordering on relieved and excited that my wife is leaving me",
"pronormative_score": 48,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for acting "normal" bordering on relieved and excited that my wife is leaving me?
|
Back story wise it's pretty easy. We married young and have been married almost 5 years. Last year in January big changes happened in both of our lives for the good, mostly for her. She started to feel trapped with me and initiated the conversation of divorce. I was blind sided, a total wreck. Fast forward a year to us trying desperately to work things out and reconnect. I've done nearly everything I can think of. Therapy, new job (more money) and doing my absolute best to try and fix things relationship wise day to day. She has a done a lot too, make no mistake. A few weeks ago she breached the conversation of divorce again and this time, I agree. I think it's best. No one ever cheated no bad relationship really at all. We just drifted apart and as hard as she or I tried we were never able to reconnect. Now moving forward I feel free, totally relieved of the doing everything I can possibly think of to save our marriage mentality. I'm happier, finally losing weight, reconnecting with old friends. Trying to be my best me despite my circumstances. She on the other hand is a upset. She holds it together well enough around me currently but she makes a lot of quips about how everything is sad and things are taking a turn for the worse for her. I feel guilty and sad about the circumstances. But I'm trying to move forward, we both are. In my, very subjective opinion, I've done a lot more and worked a lot harder to try and fix things. Mostly because I was totally blindsided by the first conversation but now... I feel like I have done everything that I could. I did my very best and that wasn't enough, it's no one's fault, it just wasn't meant to be. that thought alone gives me hope and makes me feel better. But I sometimes hear her cry herself to sleep or talk about how she wishes things were different and I feel bad not feeling bad that things are finally over.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 36,
"INFO": 3
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
IwChouiAMNj2BDoXdGIjKVAAaIi5KY5l
|
axvxpc
|
{
"description": "feeling embarrassed that my wife used to sell naked pictures",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for feeling embarrassed that my wife used to sell naked pictures?
|
Me (28M) and my wife (26F) have been together for 3 years. When we first met, we were just hooking up and she told me the second night we hooked up that she sells naked photos of herself. I told her that’s fine. About 3 weeks into us hooking up, she told me she wanted to stop selling naked photos of herself because she wanted me to be the only person to see her naked. That was the starting off point for our relationship, it made me realize we actually really liked each other.
The fact that she sold naked pictures didn’t cross my mind for the first few months of us dating until I realized she’s still friends with some of the guys she sold pictures to. I told her I was uncomfortable with that, but she told me the ones she’s still friends with she was friends with before she sold naked pictures to them and she didn’t feel right ending a friendship with them just because they bought pictures from her and now she has a boyfriend. She also said that she doesn’t mind that I’m friends with girls I’ve hooked up with or wanted to hook up with, so what’s the difference. I think of it as different than someone she hooked up with, it’s like these guys were her customers. She’s not really close with any of them as friends, but they interact on various social media platforms here and there.
This is been an issue on and off in our relationship. I’ll forget about it for months and then I’ll think about it and it makes me uncomfortable. It always starts a fight between us because I’ll get really closed off/not affectionate when I think about it and she feels like I’m making her feel ashamed for the fact that she sold naked pictures of herself. I’ve tried to not think about it, but it still crosses my mind.
We’ve been having fights about it these last few days because I told her I don’t want her to talk to anyone she’s sold pictures to. I didn’t say she has to, but in an ideal world I would want her to not interact with them. She said she barely even talks to them, they just occasionally respond to an Instagram story she’ll post or like a tweet of hers. She said it would be rude to cut out her friends and, again, that I’m free to talk to girls I’ve hooked up with. All of this came to a head today when I said what it comes down to is that I’m embarrassed that she sold these kind of pictures. This upset and angered her. She said why did I tell her I was fine with it when we started hooking up, and I told her that truthfully I wasn’t really fine with it then either, I just didn’t want to seem uncool or judgmental. She’s hurt now and says she’s going to have a hard time getting over this because she feels like I’m shaming her.
TLDR: my wife sold naked pictures of herself while we were just hooking up. she stopped before we started dating but it bothers me that she still interacts with guys who were her friends who bought pictures. today I told her I’m embarrassed that that she sold naked pics and she’s upset
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
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}
|
WRONG
|
6zwIQwttK5M89yVA6LOGEvFE9yUrISPx
|
9zv91s
|
{
"description": "refusing to hold a dudes box while he got his keys from a so",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to hold a dudes box while he got his keys from a SO?
|
AITA for refusing to hold a dudes box while he got his keys from a SO?
I was at the mall today hanging out. I was sitting on a bench and was approached by a dude that just came out of nowhere. He was asking for me to hold a box that seemed to be from a store nearby. But it was so sudden and random that I refused to hold it for the guy. From many stories and posts that I read around reddit made me think of the worst possible scenarios if I played along to this.
The guy didn't seem bad but having a random person come up with a box(shoes, jewelry etc.) all of a sudden just raised so many flags in my head. Obviously the guy felt hurt and offended so he curse at me and whatever, I didn't respond to it. He went to the nails place and then got out and do whatever he was going to do later.
He kept calling me names as I waited but I didn't respond to it. I moved on. But I wanted to see what you guys think of this situation. Again the guy didn't seem bad I just played it safe as he could have asked a cashier to hold the item for him to get his girls keys or whatever.
So what do you think reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
wZSgS9HbNsX0DI6AU5DH9OsIyDLx6JQq
|
asmnvu
|
{
"description": "leaving the band",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving the band?
|
(sorry but English is not my first language)
So basically I play bass, and it's really hard to come by a basists around here. I joined up with a drummer and a guitarist 8 months ago who posted "looking for a bassist who plays space rock/psychedelic rock." Which is exactly what I want! Things went well a few months, but then the past 2 months it has been pretty bad.
The drummer was a cool guy and we got along well, the guitarist is overall a nice dude but is very dogmatic in his music. So when we play something, it's usually made by him and he wants it his way. Usually I went along with it but then the style slowly began to sway away from psychedelic rhythms to pop and sometimes funk, which is nice to listen to, but is clearly not for me. It also gets worse because he would sometimes take my bass while we're jamming and show me a part to do, which I don't mind. But, whenever I tell him to do something in his guitar riffs, he tells me "we only have 3 hours of studio time (which we rent), let's just go with it." And doesn't put much thought into my opinion, even though sometimes he takes my bass for as much as 10 minutes. This happened a few times and I was really annoyed.
Not to mention, one time I told him to adjust a few riffs in a studio, we argued a few minutes but it died down, then in our break he told me "you should lighten up and I'm a sale manager you're just not listening and only responding to what you want." Even though I'm the one SUGGESTING the opinion.
So I texted the guitarist and told him my concerns and that I was leaving the band, mainly due to the music shift and "his dogmatic approach" He told me I was an asshole and blocked me. The drummer also told me I was an asshole.
AITA Reddit?
TL;DR was in a band that shifted music into music I don't really like to play, guitarist was really dogmatic and didn't take my opinions ,told him I'm leaving, he told me I'm an asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
AUGf6omu9ugCX75XUDqoY87xRZCnhanD
|
as789v
|
{
"description": "thinking having a college football mascot at your wedding is a douchy/asshole move",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for thinking having a college football mascot at your wedding is a douchy/asshole move?
|
An acquaintance of mine recently got married and had a college mascot at his wedding. This isn't some small college either. This is a college that any football fan, even casual ones, would be familiar with. Everyone at the wedding thought it was cool, but I think it makes you seem like a douche. Even people who weren't at the wedding think it's neat that the mascot was there. From what I've gathered, the person who got married is friends with the person who is the mascot, and they asked them to do it. To me, it seems like a move to show that they are better than everyone else. Like shouting "Oh, you can't have a college mascot at your wedding? You must be poor." The kids parents are really good people, but the kid is definitely the type to show his "status" as "wealthy." Hint: they aren't wealthy, their parents are. I hope this is enough info to be judged.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
hbOCK3BudsGUtNhwL0axOMxCBmcfupQ8
|
af50dh
|
{
"description": "feeling unloved when my husband plays video games with his friends and doesn't spend time with me when I get home",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for feeling unloved when my husband plays video games with his friends and doesn’t spend time with me when I get home?
|
I work in medicine and often leave the house by 6:30 in the morning and don’t get home sometimes until 8 o’clock at night. Sometimes it’s all I can do to come home, eat supper, do laundry or anything to get ready for the next day and go to bed. For the last hour or two I have free time I would like to spend time with my husband. However, he plays video games with his friends which is basically ignoring me because I do not play video games. He’s a student currently and is home alone all day. In his defense, his friends also work and they can only play in the evenings together. In addition to not spending quality time together, I often feel I am left to typical household cleaning in my only spare time as he does not do any noticeable work on the house. Am I the asshole for feeling like this is a one-sided relationship? Asking because I know if I say anything husband is going to act like I’m being ridiculous, he will argue that he cleans the house and does things while I’m not here but that “I never seem to notice or appreciate anything he does.” He will basically make me feel like a controlling micromanager if I mention anything about how I feel bad for not spending time together.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
4aPmhitnx3OgJXfJPs0uU2FgiOGG7Ayo
|
ax0ged
|
{
"description": "being mad about taking care of my roommates cat",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad about taking care of my roommates cat?
|
So a couple of months ago my roommate got a cat. The problem is that this cat doesn’t like other cats (a fact she was aware of but hoping would change) and I have two cats already. we tried to introduce the three of them but it didn’t work. Her cat (we will refer to as HC) actively chases my cats and swats at them. My roommate has to go home on the weekends to work and so she leaves her cat here closed in her room. Well HC does not like to be alone (rightly so) and meows and scratches to be let out. So I have to spend my time letting her out which means shutting my cats in my room for a few hours or dealing with the poor cat crying. I’m getting fed up with it. My roommate has realized this isn’t fair to the cat and is sorta trying to rehome her (posted her on Facebook a couple times) but not really. Am I the asshole for being upset about this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
9zm6fy
|
{
"description": "trying to plan a day of baking cookies with my father",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for trying to plan a day of baking cookies with my father?
|
A little bit of background, I am 20 years old and my parents got divorced when I was 11. My dad got remarried almost immediately afterwards and our once close relationship has been rocky for many years due to the fact that his current wife and I can never seem to get along.
On my dad’s side of the family we have a traditional Christmas cookie recipe that everyone makes every year and my dad and I have been making them together every year pretty much since I was able to reach the counter. My brother, 18 (For the sake of the story we will call him S) makes them with us most years too and since my dad got remarried my stepsister, 15 (for the sake of the story we will call her A) has joined in with us on this tradition. Also my stepmom has two sons J who lives in another state with A and T who lives with my dad and stepmom.
Today was thanksgiving so my brother (S) and I went over to my dad and stepmom’s house. My stepsister (A) is also visiting for the holiday and staying through the weekend (she usually lives in another state with her father). The last time I saw all of them was back in August so I was a bit worried I’d get the usual complaints of not seeing them enough but that didn’t really happen this time. We actually had a really really good time. We had dinner and played games, two of T’s friends came over since they had nowhere to go. It was awesome, probably one of the best thanksgivings we have had yet. We tried to take a family picture for Christmas cards but we couldn’t get food enough light since it was already dark out so my stepmom decided to make a plan for S and I to come over Saturday morning so we could do the picture and she and my dad would make us breakfast. Sounded good to me, we agreed all went on.
Everything was good except my dad and stepmom kept going into their bedroom to our liquor in their drinks because they told everyone else it would be a dry event (but they are never sober so it really doesn’t surprise me that they were sneaking liquor). Not too out of the ordinary though. Everything was pretty normal and good.
Then T left to bring his friends home. With the friends out of the house things seemed to quickly change. S and I were about to head out but we stopped and talked to my dad in the kitchen and I asked him if there would be any weekends between now and Christmas that he wasn’t traveling for work so I could come over and we could have a Christmas cookie day. He told me which days he’d be out of town and I was like alright I’ll see which of the other days I can get off work and we can do that. He told me he probably wouldn’t bring any to work this year since he doesn’t actually have an office with his new job but he was joking about how he could mail cookies to his coworkers and I started joking about how I could bring some in to my internship to try and butter them up so they will hire me next year. It was all pretty normal conversation but then it got a little confusing.
A came up and was jokingly being offended that we were going to make cookies without her and my dad told her he already has the stuff so she can make them this weekend while she’s here and she asked if I was going to come make cookies this weekend then and my stepmom reminded her that I had to work all weekend. A suggested Saturday when I’m here for the pictures but I told her I could help in the morning but only a little bit since I have to work at 2. Then my stepmom was trying to say I’d have to be here much earlier on Saturday to help with cookies and I explained “I wasn’t planning to come early I was just saying I will help if I have time. I still have to work all weekend and would like to have another cookie day sometime closer to Christmas when I don’t have to work.” Somehow this led to my stepmom raising her voice and getting angry about how I only want to see them when I need something and that this is why I never see them and I tried to argue back and defend myself saying no this isn’t because I need something, it’s because I want to make cookies with you guys, I’m trying to make a plan here to see you guys.” And it was very clear it was about to turn into a big fight but then S got angry and stormed out the door so I just stopped and said “I guess S says it’s time to go” and then turned and followed him. A stopped me by the door and said goodbye and then told me to tell S she says goodbye too. She was the only one I said goodbye too. Both S and I messaged her after we left and apologized for storming out and she said she understands. We love hanging out with A and obviously we want to get to see my dad but it feels like my stepmom makes it so hard sometimes.
Was she right though? Am I the asshole in this situation??? I really just don’t even know anymore. She just makes me question everything about myself sometimes.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
8MJEu0QebZVhXi9h3JV0HTYGeTN8omF5
|
a6kxat
| null |
AITA: Snooped and found out he was cheating on me. Proceeded to let his mom know first, then told him I know.
|
Well I'll try to keep this short as it's just happened and I'm still loaded with anger. He doesn't use Reddit and it's a throwaway.
Basically we had a fight on Friday and he has uni during the weekends so I'm alone at our flat crying and thinking about how to fix the situation. Try to get some medication for my sore throat from his drawers.
When I open the medicine packed there aren't any pills in it but it's stuffed with condoms. I have an IUD so I know they're definitely not "ours", neither has he told me about them.
We've had issues before and I was jealous of his best friend who texts him everyday and he tells me not to worry about. (It's all just in my head he used to say)
I start his PC because my mind is going wild I find a chatprogramm I know he uses installed and the chatprogramm he uses to text me and said best friend (bff for now) exclusively.
I open the first chat program for whatever reason and click the first convo with let's call her angel. I quickly realise he's pretending to be a girl, using bff's pictures to be convincing and sending her pictures of bff in underwear and stuff like that. Basically trying to catfish her into trying to feel comfortable enough and like it's normal to send each other underwear pics (just a girl thing haha) those pictures were hidden between lots of bot spans of a bot that'll send you random porn star pics if you ask him to. He told me about how some got that bit for fun so I'm assuming he tried to make it less suspicious and less likely I would be able to see bff's underwear shots amongst all those things. Telling me that's just what some guys like to do for shits and giggles on that server.
Next, I open his convo with bff and it's filled with messages about how he actually wants to live with her and not me and how much he loves her. Saying when he moves into a new flat they'll live together. Well he told me he wanted a bigger flat closer to his workspace for us so idk how he thought it would work out having his gf and bff in that same flat without me figuring shit out. She also lives like 7h awaz so they only get to meet when he visits his grandma who also lives there. bff's parents own a guesthouse so I think its obvious where and when he resided there and banged her. In the chat he tells bff how I'm gone right now so she can start to send the nudes, videos and audio etc . All while they casually mention my life and me like it's no big deal to first send him titty pics and then tell her about iron IV drips I recently got and how effective they were. It's really weird but it's cristal clear he's cheating and doesn't regret it.
I call my sister and family to get support. Then I add angel in my phone and tell her everything. She believes me and promises to not let him know until I told him. Tells me some more details but also tells me how they didn't have anything going on but knowing all that now it makes sense why he refused to talk to anyone via TeamSpeak and would only use that particular chat. She also said it explained why he was so frequently posting underwear pics and that she does feel he was trying to trick her into giving him those sweet photos.
I then proceed to drive to his parents house as he sleeps there when he has university as it's closer to uni. Noone is there so I go home text his mom she should call me. Tell her everything: him cheating, lying betraying me, catfishing other people etc. She says she can't really say anything. I tell her I know I just wanted her to know my side because I don't think I ever get to see her again and wanted her to know before her son tells her lies about me.
She tells me to not let him know that I know since he has an important graded presentation tomorrow. I tell her I get her side because it's her son but he didn't think about me, my feelings and was lying, mocking and betraying me while gaslighting me into insanity over his bff. She then says it wasn't ok I snooped. I tell her yes I'm not proud of that but your son wouldn't have ever told me the truth anyways. And he chose to do all this horrible things.
I tell her how much I liked her and got along with her and start crying histerically at his point. Tell her I was so happy because I really thought I had found a good guy and a nice family and I thought it would last a lifetime. I obviously sob and hear her sob and just say goodbye and hang up. I think it was both too much for us and it boke her heart knowing she meant so much to me. Which she really did, she's a great woman and I liked her enough to tell her the truth because I thought she deserved it. I don't care if his dad or brother ever find out or if she even believes me.
A while later his mom texts me saying how I ruined her, her husband's and other son's weekend vacation/getaway and how they all just want to go home now. And that they'll come tomorrow to talk about all the facts with all of us.
Needless to say I called him told him I know everything. Obviously broke up with him. He says the pictures of her are older than three years, I tell them I have one from last month. He basically continues to lie untill I call him out. I asked him if I had to get still screenings now because he just fucked people (I have reasons but no proof to believe he fucked other colleagues form work especially since I was abroad for half a year if our relationship) he just cold-hearted says: no I got checked recently no need to do that. Doesn't even say anything about him fucking other people.
He said things like: I promise I didn't have sex with bff in the last 24 months. I tell him we've been together for three years he goes: I know that that's 36 months as if I just assumed he sucks at math and had to correct that and make sure I get he confessed he slept with her while we were a couple. Tries to trick me into leaving the flat so he can get some clothing after telling me he can't guarantee to leave me the flat for the next week's to move out as his parents live twice the distance aways from his workplace (like he gets to make demands) oh and at the end of the call he tells me: yeah I wanted to break up with you tomorrow anyways (fifteen minutes after I told him it's over)
He later texts me and is angry I told his family. Blames me for being so evil to do that to his mom who is going through a tough time (she also recently found out her husband is cheating on him with his secretary but she chose to stay as their other son is young and she doesn't have the funds to raise him alone and they mostly pretend like nothing happened )
He also proceeds to text me and say every I love you was really coming from the depths of his heart and how he tried to quit things with bff but he always bounced back.
He also blames me for ruining his chance at a good grade. It's also my fault if he doesn't pass. Well I helped him do the presentation this week but he's lazy af so it's lower medicine to begin with. Not at all like I sunk a ship that already had holes in it.
In short: found out by snooping my bf was cheating on me. Told his mom first and then proceeded to tell him which now might affect his presentation and grade tomorrow which could lead him to fail that course at uni.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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i4DstdoruGtWmxjcekcvAqnKJUhc0zvQ
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atewg0
|
{
"description": "asking my bf to clean out his Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my bf to clean out his Facebook?
|
Hey guys. So I (28f) been with my bf (30m) for about a year and a half now. Things have been fairly serious, and I by no means have any resentment towards his previous marriage or ex. She's a nice woman for the most part, things just didn't work out.
It bothers me is that his Facebook still has their "x-year anniversary" and old pictures of them. Things have been serious with us, and I just don't like feeling like the other person, especially with the assumption that major life events will be happening with us in the near future.
I doubt its for any red flag reason.. he's fairly negligent when it comes to cleaning stuff up. Would I be the asshole if i asked him to delete that stuff involving her?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a3iqil
|
{
"description": "resenting my parents for raising me in the middle of fucking no where",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for resenting my parents for raising me in the middle of fucking no where?
|
As stated above I have feel loathsome towards my parents who decided to move to the border of Mexico before starting a family. The closest town was a very small town and it was an hour away. To go to school everyday I had to drive 2 hours. I could never play online games with my friends as no internet provider provided above dial up to my area. I believe being so separate from everyone I went to school with led to me never forming real friendships and developing anxiety. I feel and have felt like a giant ass wanker these past 2 years for resenting them as they are otherwise lovely people. I honestly just wish my parents new how much it hurt me to grow up without friends so they can feel horrible. So am I an entitled asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
eP0R91RCGWyr50O0iDGojLO9oi4PIQnY
|
arejvu
|
{
"description": "making a cancer joke around my smoker coworker",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for making a cancer joke around my smoker coworker?
|
First off, I *feel* like the asshole looking back, but I only meant it in jest.
My coworker has been through a lot lately. Divorce, living on their friend's couch, working their ass off to save for a cellphone and a car (after everything that's happened, they have neither; they either use a coworker's phone or their friend's car). We're friendly enough with each other, "work buddies", if you will, and usually go on break together.
The only problem is that they smoke, all the fucking time. Take breaks every hour to smoke, come back smelling like ass, and make the entire locker area smell like cigarettes, including everyone's jackets. Somehow, despite being really broke (and always emphasizing how broke they are) they manage to afford a pack a day. It started to really grind my nerves because I have kid family members at home, and I don't want them to breath it in when I hold them. Also - I'm pretty sure they mentioned having a couple little daughters at some point, but I'm not sure.
So while we were on break, they lit up a cigarette and sort of blew it in my direction while talking to me. I let it slide a couple times (reluctant to leave them alone outside when they know I have no reason to go inside) and tried not to breathe, but finally I said, "You should put that shit out." I didn't mean it totally seriously, but I felt they were being a little dickish.
They said something to the effect of, "Go inside if you don't like it, I get headaches if I don't smoke."
So I replied, "Dude, you're going to get worse headaches in chemotherapy." I should note that I'm pretty sarcastic anyway, but I joke a lot when I'm uncomfortable. I didn't mean it *like that*, I was pretty much just fucking around in hopes they'd stop. They just looked at me for a second and then went back inside. They wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the shift. Later, our manager took me aside and asked me to be more respectful, especially to them, because they're going through some shit right now. I immediately felt super embarrassed.
AITA in this situation, and should I apologize?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
QnPSCq1QlaMWDMyy4tyT5IHv75uxc1an
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b1915n
|
{
"description": "making fun of my girlfriends formerly blind ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for making fun of my girlfriends formerly blind ex?
|
I (M20) was talking with my girlfriend (F18) and the subject of an ex of her’s came up and I made a rude comment about him and she didn’t take it very well.
For some background we’ve known each other since before middle school, grown up together and officially started dating about 10 months ago. She’s amazing and I love her and being with her. In our social group there isn’t much dating or many actual relationships so the subject of past relationships is a little more sensitive for us. She was in love with this guy a long time ago, when she was around 14 IIRC, he lived in another country so she’d visit and see him but I never met him or knew much about him. On my side of things I’ve been in a couple past relationships and in particular there was this one girl that I was crushing on pretty hard for a while before I was interested in my current girlfriend, my current GF was my go to to talk about stuff like this so she heard a lot about her, to an extent it’s a little embarrassing now. I never got in a relationship with this girl, she has a reputation for being on the provocative side of things and would always play with guys, definitely not a good girl to be interested in.
In any case it’s occasional for my current GF to bring up this girl (who she hasn’t met before) and talk really bad about her, calling her a slut, saying she hates her, etc.
She really doesn’t like her and I understand it to an extent because she’s protective of me and in a way I love that she is so it doesn’t really bother me.
Today however we were talking about types of guys she’s attracted to and as she was describing her type this guy who we’ll call Mark comes up in conversation, Mark isn’t exactly the most attractive guy, very odd looking and not what you’d generally call attractive. I have nothing wrong with him personally whatsoever, their relationship was a long time ago.
So jokingly I tell her that there’s no way she likes this guy for her looks, she says he’s cute and this is where I might’ve messed up, I asked if he was all there, which I definitely could’ve worded better. I didn’t want to say anything bad if there was something, so she tells me he’s all there, he used to be blind but he can see now. I then messed up and made a dumb joke and said something along the lines of “Did he go blind looking in the mirror?” And some other quip I don’t remember about his forehead... oops that was probably uncalled for. We make jokes pretty frequently about other people but not mean-spirited, except for when she talks about my Ex. Anyways girlfriend goes dead silent and didn’t say anything for a bit, then we get into a big discussion about what’s okay and what’s not. I told her I was joking and didn’t mean anything bad towards him. The conversation ended with her really upset with me and me getting the impression she might have feelings for this guy who she still occasionally sees when she visits his area.
Great.
What do you think Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
NOajcs1178ThpWK5AdlpS3OEd2acrNa4
|
b0q3bd
|
{
"description": "encouraging my gf to leave her family",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I encourage my gf to leave her family?
|
My (M23) gf of four years (F22) and I are still living at home (we both go to university in my town, she lives in a city an hour away). I have no problems at home, but my gf's family is quite disfunctional. Her dad is a borderline alcoholic and im not sure about her mom, but from what my gf tells me, she has something like BPD, they are constantly fighting. My gf has previously asked them if she could move in with friends, but the won't let her move out.
Now the thing is, I've considered moving out as well to be more independent, so right now I'm considering renting a flat and asking my gf to move in with me. Even if her parents don't want to let her go, they can only exert financial pressure, so if I take that away, what can they do? She could technically even sue them for housing/food/study costs, but if she doesn't want to, I could cover it for her until we're both out of university.
Still, that would basically mean starting a fight with her family and I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. Also, I wonder if this would put too much pressure on her/make her feel indebted. I am serious about this relationship and I'm not afraid to take responsibility, but I also don't want her to feel like she owes me. WIBTA if I offer her to move in with me?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
YlBzjh1RWsFntxYp3E7K4PscWbW8AQSZ
|
aefkm3
|
{
"description": "wanting to sell the Christmas present my mom gave me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to sell the Christmas present my mom gave me?
|
So my mom got me an Xbox one for Christmas which is a really nice thoughtful gift. The thing is that I already have an Xbox one, but mine is slightly damaged. Some backstory to it is that my friends and I went on a ski trip over spring break and brought our Xbox’s. Apparently we didn’t pack well enough and when we opened the back of the car my Xbox fell out and now none of the buttons on the front work so I can’t get my game out or put new ones in. Other than that it works perfectly, and this doesn’t really bother me since most of my games are downloaded. But my mom knew it was broken and decided to get me a new one, which I appreciate and understand why she did, but I feel like it’s a useless gift since I already have one. I started thinking about selling it and getting a switch instead so I talked to my girlfriend about it and she told me it was a bad idea and that I’d seem ungrateful. I then talked to my dad and he said it’d be fine and that it made sense for me to do that. So I finally brought it up with my mom and it didn’t go over well. She took offense and was upset that I would want to sell her gift. I explained my reasoning and she said i can do whatever I want with it since it’s my gift but I know that she’s still upset about it. I haven’t sold or done anything with it, so would I be an asshole if I sold it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
WVd8c8I7lgwlciF6afhLUVRdR9C4CFcP
|
b5qlp6
|
{
"description": "actively looking for a job change while giving promises to my manager who counts on me big time in the development of an upcoming product",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for actively looking for a job change while giving promises to my manager who counts on me big time in the development of an upcoming product?
|
This is office/career related, but I feel like jerk about it and do feel that this belongs to this sub..
So I joined this huge corporate as a software dev role, with high expectations and excitement. The role was a mismatch, and I was immediately disappointed after joining. I spoke with my immediate manager about it and he said he’d do his best to change my role.
And this escalated to my unit head and he also told me the same. Fast forward a month later, we have a new up and coming, very prestigious software to be developed and everyone in the team looked forward to switching to that team. The unit head called me up and told me I’m going to be the first one to be drafted to that team - meaning he very well kept his word. He mentioned that it’s a litmus test for our whole unit, as the company is pouring investments for this “market shaker” product and he needs totally committed people, to which I responded that I’m up for it.
The catch is - the product is into a new technology and a new language- which I’m not right now interested to switch. And I got several exciting offers from startups as well which I’m considering.
When my boss spoke with me, I had given my word that I’m happy to be moved to the new product- I couldn’t tell him that I have other offers in my hand.
So AITA if I go tomorrow and hit him with a resignation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
BgaCQ2QYmLWV9npN3S4q2XCZVk5VzjsE
|
aambrx
|
{
"description": "hating my sister's emotional support dog",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for hating my sister's emotional support dog?
|
I (29) am severely visually impaired, to the point that I can never legally drive a car.
In 2006, after a lot of hard work to prove that I was a responsible teenager, I got a guide dog when I was two years younger than the minimum age the guide dog school set for applicants. I want a perfect handler but I took great pride in maintaining an excellent level of training, care, and trust with the animal that was my best friend and hero. Over the course of nearly a decade together, I had to deal with people who didn't understand the rules of service dogs and overcome lots of other struggles on top of managing a disability.
Last August, my wife and I had to put him to sleep. he enjoyed 4 good years of retirement in luxury after he was unable to work, but it was still a traumatic experience.
Before my dog retired, my sister (38) with bipolar disorder saw the attention and praise and support my dog and I got as a result of our high standards of care and teamwork. I know firsthand how helpful a dog can be, and since she suffers from anxiety and.ptsd, I understood the benefit she could gain from a dog. But I also cant help but think her decision to get a dog was primarily driven by a desire for attention.
My sister adopted a shelter dog with severe behavior issues and did not achieve much in the way of obedience training. She tried to claim this was a Service Dog but it was not trained to provide any service based on any disability she has. At best, he was an emotional support dog by only the loosest definition. He is aggressive, barks at any movement he sees outside, and doesn't follow any commands.
The month my dog died, my sister got a third noise complaint from her landlord about her dog's barking. She was told to get rid of him or be evicted. On top of that, she refused to be there for me when we were putting my dog down because of a stupid argument she was having with my parents.
Two weeks after my dog was gone, she have hers to my parents. It made me feel betrayed, like my dogs passing meant nothing to her. my parents are in their 60s and can't handle the 80lb wolfhound mix so he just barks and they can't do anything about it and they don't want to get rid of him.
I am currently visiting family for the holidays and the last week has been very irritating. The dog barks constantly, has jumped on me and my wife, snapped at me for bumping into me, and other stuff that is just wearing me down.
I don't like this dog. It represents the bullshit my sister pulled and that my parents are letting it slide. It is 80lbs of proof that my sister was just trying to get attention. It is also just irritating to be startled by barking every 10 minutes. He has sweet moments, but only between moments of being aggressive.
My parents, however, adore this dog. They are empty nesters and are willing to overlook his aggression because they paid his adoption fee for my sister at the shelter. Part of me also thinks they are using the new dog to cope with the loss of mine, who lived with them for a while after he retired since my building doesn't allow dogs and the Americans with Disabilities act doesn't cover service dogs after retirement.
Today we are visiting my sister and her boyfriend and I am not thrilled to be expected to pretend things are all fine and dandy again. My dog dying and her dumping hers on my parents has been the last straw. I love dogs, but not this one.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
WRONG
|
P1KGbJsC1WloPAV8imwQjx2DkOVLkZ1x
|
b738i3
|
{
"description": "not enjoying hanging out with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not enjoying hanging out with my friends?
|
To start off, I'm an introvert. A massive introvert. I don't enjoy many social interactions, so my two very close friends are the only ones I hang out with. They're similar. When we hang out we hang out at my house, because i have the nicest house out of all of us and my parents are rarely home. We'll call my one friend M and the other A. So that's the set up.
Last time we hung out, M and A dragged me to a movie I didn't want to see, I paid for them M because she doesn't have much money and I drove us all there and back. After that they spent the night at my house and M would not stop insisting that we watch Charmed. I hate that show and told her so, but M literally took the remote from me and would not compromise until I finally gave in because she made me feel like a dick. I had a terrible time that night but didn't say anything to avoid conflict.
Then just yesterday they came to hang out again. I thought we would have fun. Instead they came over, M insisted I buy them milkshakes downtown. I do. Then we come back to my place, and we sit down on the couch. A really likes the Umbrella Academy. I watched the show previously because she asked me to. I hated it, it was so boring to me. So we're sitting there going through Netflix and M sees the show and is like "Lets watch it!". I say no, because again, I hate the show and both me and A have already seen it. A starts begging to watch it too. I still say no. They say we should rock paper scissors it. I say no because it's my house, and suggest they go hang out at one of their own houses and watch it there. They look at me like I've just said their mom's are whores. I feel bad and do the rock paper scissors. I lose. So I go lay on my bed while they watch it. They don't care.
After a while I hear movement and see they've gone into my sister's room (she's at our Dad's house) and taken her blankets to use in the living room. I don't say anything although they can see I'm annoyed by it.
I cone back to the living room to just sit there and hope they'll be done with the show soon. M suggests they stay the night and before I can help myself I say no. They're both like "Why???" And I spill to them that I'm not having fun when I'm hanging out with them and haven't been having fun these past few times, and I say that if this keeps happening I don't want to hang out anymore. I thought that was the honest, right thing to do, so I told them and they looked at me again like I was the biggest bitch in the world.
They both look annoyed and disgusted and just roll their eyes so before anything else can be said i tell them i think they should go home. We then share a very awkward car ride to their houses and M calls me a bitch as she gets out of the car.
Am I the asshole? I dont think so, but my sister and dad both say that I should have compromised and put up with it because that's what being a good host means. I'd rather just be a bad host than not enjoy myself though honestly. Thoughts? Advice? Anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
7jGmiu7JdiBpVFNA0NeFalsyUIPdlnJm
|
amjyjs
|
{
"description": "trying to date my friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for trying to date my friend’s ex?
|
First, sorry if my English isn’t the best, it’s not my first language. Now some context I’m friends with this guy but I don’t like him that much because he is kind of an asshole, the only times he speaks it’s to talk smack about someone. He broke with his girlfriend around 4 months ago but I started liking her more and more so I started talking more with her. I realized that sooner or later he would find out I liked her so I decided to tell him about it mostly because we are actually getting pretty close. He said it’s fine but he would be a bit sad to see us together. Then he told his best friend about it and he just started bombing me with insults about how I was going to get rejected and what not but I think it’s just because he doesn’t want me to date her ex. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
hUa9zxbxpmKLvb0uXXObcCCWDBgP5h4r
|
aqjtwn
|
{
"description": "telling a friend he can't run a D&D campaign",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For telling a friend he can't run a D&D campaign?
|
TL,DR at the bottom in case anyone wants it.
​
Ok, so I'm in my final year of high school, and I'm taking over as the leader of the D&D Club at my school. It's extremely small, and the only reason it's still going is because one of the teachers is a player, and doesn't want to stop. As with last year (in which I was a player), we have just enough people to run two campaigns. Traditionally, both campaigns have been set in the same world at the same time, with the two parties occasionally meeting. That being said, here's my problem.
I am one DM, and the other DM is supposed to be my friend, who I'll call J. I've known J for a few years, and he's a pretty cool guy, if a bit extreme at times. He was one of my fellow players from the previous two years. I have a little bit of experience DMing a game, and he has none, but we have a solid grasp on what to do. On top of the school club, he's also planning on running a game at his house on weekends. He seems dedicated, right? Well, I'm starting to doubt that. I've been planning out this campaign for the past few weeks. We already have a detailed world map, a bunch of locations, history dating back several hundred in-game years, and a possible plot hook. And how much of that has J made?
*None*. I've asked him for help multiple times, and he's done nothing. Although, he *did* work with me on a world map in the first week back at school, but he failed to tell me it was for his personal game (and not the one we're supposed to run together) until it was already completed. When I found that out, I was pretty annoyed.
Tomorrow I plan on confronting J about the situation. My plan is to be civil, but to essentially tell him that I've asked him multiple times to help, and the fact that he's done nothing at all is not only getting on my nerves, but tells me that he doesn't really care about running the game.
On top of that, a mutual friend of ours is not only willing to run a game, but has previous experience DMing, and I would rather he run the other campaign. I'll also mention that to J.
TL,DR: Friend wants to run school D&D Club alongside me with a joint campaign, but then contributes absolutely nothing to planning out the game or world setting. I have another friend who is willing to replace him, and I'd much rather that guy do it than the first friend.
So, WIBTA for telling him he can't run the game?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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inlKiaD5pI4Dxqs60mRrS1GIDTURM3Y8
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b5fm4g
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{
"description": "wanting an apology",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Wanting An Apology?
|
*(Throwaway account) This is long- the background is in italics.*
*My family came together for a religious service- the family is only able to come together every few years. I'm taking advantage of the situation and hanging out w/ my cousins.*
*The 2 people that I traveled with were my brother (Z) and my dad. Dad babies Z who is in high school to a ridiculous extent. I am 18 F. We shared 1 hotel room.*
*Anyway: I'm hanging out at this gathering and my cousins and I are talking. We actively tried to engage my brother multiple times and he kept shrugging us off and playing with his phone so we figure he doesn't want to talk to us.*
*The group was going to explore a local mall and it was an open invitation to everyone in our family from 13+. Apparently he didn't realize that he was invited and ended up leaving the party early b/c he thought that we were trying to exclude him- he actually almost ended up missing a ceremony for one of my cousins and she was rightfully upset with him and made a comment.*
*He leaves again to sit in room and dad was comforts him. My dad now thinks that my cousins and I were excluding him* *and it was all my fault.*
*I come back in the room to get something and he asks if he can come- I say of course.*
*We go to the mall.*
*We go to my relative's house where I sat at the kitchen table most of the evening until one of my younger cousins asked me to help her w/ something. While helping her Zack and Dad are leaving and I ask them if they're going to \*city\* b/c if so I want to go with them. They say no so I opt to stay and help my cousin. I leave the house at 11:00 w/ my cousins.*
*I get back to the room and Z and Dad are gone; I call them and Z yells into the phone that they're in \*local city\* so I'm upset.*
The 2 of them walk in after 1:00 AM in the morning. I made a remark to them about not inviting me and my Dad goes off on me so I end up getting wound up (please note: I am always keeping my feelings under wraps so it got kind of loud). He tries to intimidate me w/ his size (6'3 vs 5'1) takes 2 fingers to my forehead and shoves me. I have PTSD due to abuse from my mother so this triggers me.I yell at him that I am 18 and that I will never let him or anyone treat me like that again. His kicks me out of the room.
We get up in the morning to check out and he tries to instigate. I leave and sit in the lobby until it's time to go.
He sends me a LONG text this morning as to why my Z had a shitty time at the reunion is my fault (which explains everything above)- b/c I didn't cater the conversation to him, apparently avoided him, etc. I checked with my cousin and she confirmed we tried to talk to him and he simply wasn't interested.We apparently also didn't invite him to the mall. My dad then said that he could treat me however he wanted because I was his child and that he is putting me through school. He did not apologize for pushing me and then kicking me out. Apparently protesting was out of line.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
XFSbZmju7a1G63SOKyrDlz2MI4doB4Bw
|
a3g2ja
|
{
"description": "being mad at my friend for breaking almost every object she has",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being mad at my friend for breaking almost every object she has?
|
So my good friend Kim and I are both in the same age range (late 20s), live close to eachother, and spend a lot of time with eachother because we share a lot of interests. We both have jobs, and although I'm far from being rich, she seems to struggle with money more than I do.
Because of that, I often lend her money (yes, I know the rule about "don't lend money if you really need it back, I'm okay with that), and even pay for some of her stuff when we go shopping.
The problem is: Kim really doesn't seem to care about her stuff. In the past year, she's been in several minor car accidents, and now her car is inoperable. At one point, her dad fixed her car for her after finding replacement parts, and she crashed it a few days later.
She had a book of mine for a while, and when I got it back the pages were obviously damaged with water.
In the last year, she's also destroyed her phone several times. She dropped one in a toilet. Her mother gave her another phone, and she dropped it in a water pitcher (hooooow). So then I said I could give her my somewhat old phone that still worked (with minor problems like a shitty battery). She offered to pay for it, but I said she could just give it back to me when she gets a new phone.
It took like 10 days before the phone was annihilated. When I saw her last night, she had removed the case, and the screen was destroyed, with little glass left around the home button.
I get that some people are more clumsy, but at this point, I'm getting irritated by how she clearly disregards her and other people's objects. I don't feel like helping her anymore, because even if I give her money, she'd probably buy something and then destroy it soon after. At the same time, I know it's not all about material stuff, and I've broken my fair share of objects throughout my life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
LZbVmXyd7TiSMS9aNVWIb3pbvdeNBqRw
|
arm9k9
|
{
"description": "expecting my so to contribute more to the cleanliness of our apartment",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for expecting my SO to contribute more to the cleanliness of our apartment?
|
So, my SO is a full time student, and she works two-three days a week at a coffee shop. Lately we have been getting into arguments because I feel like I've been doing all the chores, cleaning up all the clothes she leaves on the floor, washing all of our dishes, taking care of our cats, putting all of her notebooks and textbooks and utensils away that she leaves out, and it's starting to drive me nuts. I work full time and when I get back from work I no longer have any time to relax and chill anymore because i have to re-clean the house. I talked to her about putting in more work or just maintaining the upkeep by like, putting clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor or rinsing dishes right away instead of leaving them in the sink for hours until I get home. She said she was offended that I would expect her to do all these things when she goes to school all day and then comes home and has to do homework and she can't clean and work on academics at the same time. I asked her why not work on homework at her coffee shop because there's not a ton of constant foot traffic but she said that's the time when she hangs out with friends.
I'm starting to feel really overwhelmed by my situation, but I know that getting a degree takes a lot of work and can be really stressful. AITA for wanting my SO to step it up a little?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ILzKJd4zLO3OovfaZkCUOCHRlhAj0RiE
|
ad5z51
|
{
"description": "suggesting MIL take an Uber in a snowstorm",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for suggesting MIL take an Uber in a snowstorm?
|
Asked MIL if she'd be comfortable with us paying for an Uber to take her to the airport (used that wording). She's an able-bodied woman in her late 50's. There's a huge snow storm and the airport is about an hour away. I explained we'd pay for the Uber (even using one of the higher upgrade options), they'd pick her up from our house, and drop her at the same place my husband would. The difference is my husband wouldn't be spending 3+ hours driving (round trip) in dangerous conditions, and the Uber would likely have 4-wheel drive unlike our minivan. Last month I was hit by a distracted driver and injured pretty badly, so I'm extra sensitive right now about something happening to him on the drive. When asked if she'd be willing to be driven by an Uber, and having all those details explained, she ran out of the room crying and locked herself in my son's room for 30+ minutes. Husband went in and talked to her and the plan is he's driving her to the airport (in the storm that's now rolled in) and I'm supposed to drop it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
pb5SAUZnqrxKekd0PePO9gUnwOfdhYqj
|
av0mzu
|
{
"description": "calling my girlfriend a stalker",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for calling my girlfriend a stalker
|
My girlfriend has had a crush on a particular basketball player for as long as I’ve known her. She knows all his states, follows his social media, and watches every game.
What really pushed me over the edge was that she drove 2.5+ hours each way yesterday, by herself, to go see him play in person. She spent almost $250 on this.
I tried to talk to her about it but she shut me down. She said she can do what she wants and there’s nothing wrong with loving an athlete. I would agree, except she doesn’t watch basketball outside of this one athlete and his team. It seems obsessive, and I told her so. She got mad and I pointed out that she was basically a stalker. AITA for saying so?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
yKwueVztGcGgHJxJyBdxz6zr3pbPZ0jE
|
axex31
|
{
"description": "not sticking up for my unpopular friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for not sticking up for my unpopular friend?
|
OK so I have this friend who I play Smash Ultimate with every day in my school's form room. However,he is,to be blunt,not as popular as me,and so get bullied a lot. Every day a bunch of boys come in to our form room and bully *him.* Not me,not the other friend we play with,just him. And I never stand up for him when this happens,for one big reason. I am also reasonably good friends with the boys that bully him. In my defense,I usually subtly convince them to leave,by joking around with them,but never joining with bullying him. Usually it's pretty standard stuff,turning off his Switch and waving their hands in front of the screen,but today they pulled his chair out from under him and he went down *hard.* One of them was going to record it,but didn't manage to. And,to be honest I do not want to get involved with the situation because I think it wouldn't do anything instead get them pissed off with me.
AITA,and what could I do better?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
zGjWaG7NipxcobjmC0gdjoSNBwSXGFTl
|
a01j4f
|
{
"description": "leaving my grandparents care to their 4 daughters",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for leaving my grandparents care to their 4 daughters?
|
Almost two years ago my grandfather had a debilitating stroke. While in the ER and surgeries, his four daughters were arguing passive aggressively in the room with him, all out yelling in the waiting room. Stressful, so there's some room for understanding there. A couple times there were some hard decisions to make, intubate or not, amputate or not etc. In those moments, the daughters, if not fighting, would dissapear. I held power of attorney and even though my grandma was ok, she was too overwhelmed to make a decision and asked me to. So I did.
After months of hospital and nursing recovery, my grandfather comes home, but needs round the clock care for hygiene, etc. Their house needed renovating and updating for wheelchair access and 1 of the 4 showed up to help. Otherwise I got help from other friends to change flooring, update bathrooms, and renovate their rental house behind them.
Paid caretaking costs ~$15/hr and not something they can afford. I tried getting them enrolled in supplemental help or programs with paid caretaking, but they were denied multiple times because they showed too many assets on paper as they were on the mortgage and title to one of their daughters houses. She also had another car they lent her they wanted to sign their names off of. She ignored every attempt we made at contacting her.
As I was doing majority of the caretaking, renovating, errands, appts etc., I reached out to all the sisters multiple times to coordinate the help. I made a calendar and asked that they cover just 1 weekend a month or pay to have it covered. One came for about a year, and covered weekday mornings, but left to get a job. Through the whole thing I lost my business and don't have time for a job or even back to school other than some online courses I take late at night.
Recently, my grandmother and I had a discussion about her involving her daughters directly. She said she can't force anyone to do anything and feels bad interrupting their careers and lives. I think in effort to get her daughters attention, she's been telling people I don't allow her daughters over.
AITA if I walk away from this situation completely to recover my life and leave it between my grandparents and their daughters to figure out?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
X6Iqwfm4g05a2gkJB8XuLfiEb5H7t1pr
|
awab2p
|
{
"description": "asking an african american colleague to read passages including the n-word in my place",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking an African American colleague to read passages including the n-word in my place
|
Throwaway in case some of my students are on reddit.
​
So for context, I am a while female high school teacher, and I teach american literature. My class (about 60% Caucasian, 30% African American, and 10% Hispanic) is reading a book that utilizes the n-word frequently. I know that it is inappropriate to say the n-word in my class; however, there are passages containing it that I wanted to read aloud in class for discussion purposes.
​
My solution was to ask my African American colleague, who is a math teacher at the school to come in and read those passages aloud. He had no problem with it, and came and read the passages. No students have complained about that class, but other faculty over heard our planning and have told me that I should have not taught the book at all. I think that is disingenuous to my students as the book was part of american history and that I (hopefully) avoided making my African American students uncomfortable by not reading the word aloud myself.
​
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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5m9Wmmdntrn2EpaMtlCWwoeK9QHAERky
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audwhl
| null |
AITA
|
This is my first (and probably only) post on reddit, so I'm sorry if I break any unsaid rules or something
I'm a teen girl in highschool and I've never had a serious relationship before this last Valentine's day. My very good friend at the time (I'll refer to him as G) and I admitted that we both liked eachother. I, however, said that I'm inexperienced in dating and I'm afraid of being a bad girlfriend, but I want to try it out to see if our relationship would work. He agreed to those terms.
A few days past, we went on a date and we had a wonderful time. But despite that, something felt wrong to me. G is funny, nice, and respected by boundaries, but I still felt awful. I really liked G, but for unrelated reasons, I'm not in a good place to be in a stressful relationship.
A few nights ago, I had to break up with G. Obviously, he was heart broken. Long story short, I explained that I can't handle being in a relationship now and I'm very sorry for doing this to him. He understood but said he would need to heal.
For the next week he texted me less and didn't talk to me. It hurt but I understand.
Now, G makes music and releases it on soundcloud. (No, he isn't a soundcloud rapper lmao) One of his songs he released was obviously about our breakup. It explained that we was hurt and didn't want to "still be friends"
Now I'm a bit of an emotional mess, in the sense that I don't know how to feel. Am I an awful person for doing that or is he being childish?
What do you all think? I just want to be friends with G again. He was so funny and nice and I miss that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
GnkE7iFLzgyQDBDiHOR3Do9m51XHT0Af
|
ahe6vo
|
{
"description": "ignoring/ staying away from a classmate even though everyone else hates him? and not buying a gift when he's expecting one",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for ignoring/ staying away from a classmate even though everyone else hates him? And not buying a gift when he’s expecting one?
|
There’s this person, who ill call F, he has been in our school for about 3-4 years, almost as much as me. Everyone at our school, excluding me and some other people, have know each other since KG. But they’re all very nice and welcoming people. F has repeatedly tried to make friends, but due to his rude/obnoxious personality, everyone dislikes him (except one new person). Anyway, the first years of him being at our school, I felt bad that everyone disliked him, so I’ve tried to stay as friendly as possible. (Btw, our school is very small, so everyone knows each other). This current year, as i have more classes with him, he’s been talking to me more, which i dislike. He does things such as “playfully” slapping me (repeatedly), calling her friends, which he met online, in front of us (sometimes while having a conversation with us, as a group). He’s also very rude sometimes, and tries to push her opinions on to you, while being not willing to listen to other opinions. Every time someone tells him that he’s being annoying or rude, he calls them homophobic or transphobic, since he’s a part of the LGBT+.But, since recently he thinks of me as a close friend.
During one of my other friends birthday parties, which he intruded, (we did it at school) he stated that she doesn’t want us to throw he one. We weren’t planning on throwing him one. He makes me extremely uncomfortable around him and is very clingy. His birthday is coming up, and he seems to think ill be giving him something, since he bought a bookmark for me and some other girls. I don’t know if i should buy him one, which would solidify our “friendship”. I also feel like i should be friends with him since everyone else hates him.
We’ve had a couple arguments lately, and i really don’t want him to continue thinking of us as friends. So I’m trying to kind of ignore him..? But he has no one to talk to (maybe caused by his actions) but he’s never mean. He’s just unknowingly rude, and I’ve tried to tell F multiple times, but he never listened, and then interrupted me to respond to his other friend over the phone (the argument was about how i felt it was rude to speak to have a conversation with someone over the phone, not on speaker, and with a group of people simultaneously. I find it rude, and it shows where her attention lies.)
AITA to stop our “friendship” and not give him a gift?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
dK9wPPh5j76sSZtWC3fBWHqpRUxqT7Zz
|
asklfb
|
{
"description": "wanting to see a movie with my boyfriend that my best friend wants to watch with me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to see a movie with my boyfriend that my best friend wants to watch with me?
|
Confusing title, I know, but I'm gonna try to keep it somewhat vague, because they both use Reddit. Okay, so there's this super awesome movie franchise(I'll call it ABC) that I have been a fan of since I was a little boy. My best friend and my boyfriend are also equally in love with it, both long time fans. I met my best friend about 6 years ago and since then, we've watched these movies in theaters right when they come out. It's just one of those things we do together. We have other movie series, TV series, and video games that are "our things," so this isn't the only thing we do together.
About 7 months ago, I met my boyfriend. He showed me all of his collections of different things regarding ABC, so I know he loves it as much as I do. Recently, he took me to the movies to see a movie connected to it(but not as connected as the rest) and there was a preview of an upcoming movie(also connected) and he said he wants to take me to see it. I said okay, because I want to see it with him, too.
Now, here's the problem. Movie 1 I watched with my boyfriend because my best friend had already watched it with his other friends(because they're all huge fans, too). Movie 2 is the preview we saw and Movie 3 is another upcoming movie, all tied into ABC. I'm betting most of you know which one I'm talking about. Movie 3 is the biggest, probably most important of the story, so I figured I could save that to watch with my best friend, and watch Movie 2 with my boyfriend.
I told my best friend that my boyfriend wants to take me to see Movie 2 and he got mad at me. He said that these movies are *our thing* and he wants to see them with me. I asked "what about Movie 3?" He got even more mad, saying "especially not that one." So, basically, I can't watch either of these movies with my boyfriend because my best friend wants to see them with me.
After this conversation, he was still mad and saying shit under his breath, I couldn't hear it. Then he followed with "do whatever you want, you don't fucking care, so I don't care either." Now he's pissed and won't talk to me.
I hope this isn't too confusing to follow, if I need to clarify, let me know. So, am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
8O0ejfXt2eVS9EWcTuyeYMtQLO24PJlT
|
ahk8ay
|
{
"description": "wanting my dying asshole coworker to die faster",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 27
}
|
AITA For wanting my dying asshole coworker to die faster?
|
My coworker was recently involved in a car crash. He is on life support, and has been on life support for the entire week.
Our entire office has been mourning.
I hate him, and I want him to die faster. He has always held me back in my professional life, for two years. My career has stalled because he has my bosses ear, filling him with shit ideas that keep failing.
He is apathetic, lazy, and stupid. He doesnt have any balls or drive to take drastic steps when needed. He doesnt innovate, he doesnt add to the dialouge, he simply takes up space and holds the company back from being as great as it could be.
Hes also an insufferable bore. Listening to his bland pitches is beyond irritating. He is mediocre, and I want to pull his plug myself so that we can finally move forward.
Needless to say I express these views privately with a trusted coworker and even though he somewhat agrees he says that I am out of line. AITA.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
WRONG
|
NdBIKMDXY7mEg4IYSppJNNuIYVM7riUe
|
a4sbm4
|
{
"description": "being annoyed about doing most of the driving in the relationship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being annoyed about doing most of the driving in the relationship?
|
My bf [32M] and I [29F] both have cars. But we oth live in NYC where not everyone has private parking and street parking can be hard to find. I have my own parking spot and so I can freely go whenever I want without having to worry about parking. However, he doesn't have his own spot and his neighborhood is difficult to find parking in. In addition, he drives 3+ hours round trip for work 5 days a week, so he's a bit burnt out from driving. Whenever we go out, I tend to drive because I live farther from the other neighborhoods in Brooklyn and Manhattan and I don't want to take the subway. He's perfectly fine with the train. I will usually pick him up and drop him off. He's only a 15 min drive from me but it's still out of the way usually. He doesn't want to drive because he spends so much time in the car during the week and finding parking near home is a nightmare. I don't mind driving but sometimes I want to feel like the girl and be picked up and driven around instead of the other way around. Frankly, I feel like he's being a little bitch.
Tldr; I always pick up and drive my boyfriend places even though he has his own car. He doesn't want to drive because street parking is near impossible and he drives a lot for work during the week. I want to feel like the girl and be picked up and driven around. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
oM1oEwJDk0wGUvcvOgYo9aCNgok8I54F
|
ayd8r6
|
{
"description": "getting angry because he ate without me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA I got angry because he ate without me
|
Ok so Ive had pain in my stomach for the passed 4 months and I just found out I did something stupid during the time I've been medicating and that is that I haven't been eating before I take my painkillers. Apparently this could be a reason for my nausea so I stopped. My BF told me last night that we'd eat at our favorite Indian restaurant for lunch the next day and so I said OK but it's gotta be lunch(if I don't take my pills after 4.5 hours my stomach starts going insane). He was quite tired and said fine. So I called him this morning to make sure he would wake up in time so we could get lunch together, since I gotta eat at 12 so I can take my pills and not be in pain. He wakes up and says
"last night I told you I was planning on leaving at 12" which he didn't but then I said OK but that it would be passed lunch so if he could leave at 10 instead it'd be better(he lives about 2 hours away). I called after half an hour because I thought I could go there early and start eating in that case and he could come later. I call again and he doesn't answer. I call half an hour after that because I was getting worried and it turns out he still wasn't planning on getting out of bed. My alarm goes off and I decide fine no lunch at our favorite place. I ate sandwiches and felt disappointed but that honestly I should've expected this because he's always late(not a problem to me usually since we usually make night plans so that he doesn't have to stress). At 1.30 he texts me that he's on the bus. Around 1.5 hours later he asks if I've already eaten. I explain that yeah of course I have since the doctor told me to reduce the nausea I gotta eat with my pills and then asks if he should bring anything. So the Indian place is amazing. It tastes great, the ingredients are spicy, however if you leave the food for like half an hour it starts to taste bad(as in not tasty, still OK to eat) and heating it up again makes it worse. He says that he's still going to OUR Indian place without me and stopping there before coming to me. I... I feel so incredibly hurt. Like I was already hurt that he's late and he missed so that we could eat together but now he says he's going anyways???
Now if you're asking why I don't just go there and sit while he eats, it takes a lot of me to go to the restuenag because it's quite far away and I'd rather exercise or go for a walk at night. I would've been fine with going there for dinner instead but if he's already been there for lunch then he doesn't want to go for dinner.
So now he's upset that I'm obviously upset. He got a printer out picture of us for our wallets which is admittedly cute but I'm not in the mood to put it in my wallet. Not because I don't love him but because I'm upset and it just hurt that I'd do that.
I just need to know am I the butthole for being obviously upset??
I felt that I was before he decided to lunch without me but now i feel like I'm justified to be angry.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
3TmLxnsYXTnYf11mOiaVhntm3AsjqnSG
|
9wp3r7
|
{
"description": "telling a lady she can't bring her kid to gym",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling a lady she can't bring her kid to gym?
|
So here's the situation: I've just recently started working out (2 months). The gym I go is excellent, everyone is super friendly and I'm genuinely enjoying it. But, about half the time I go there, I go at the same time of a lady (around 35yo) goes - and she brings her 8ish yo son along.
The gym has a special place for children, but the place is ridiculously small and there's nothing to do in there. From what I gathered the kid has no phone, so has resorted to *playing around with the gym equipment*.
He runs up and down the gym, twirling around bech presses, gym equipment and people. He jumps rope, he uses the "trampoline". He punches the punching bag and climbs the stretching bars.
I've talked to him, asked him not to run around, and he ignored me, as kids do. I've talked to the gym instructor and he made light of it. Everyone seems to enjoy the kid, but me.
And then last week I was trying to stretch on the stretching area, but the kid was using it as a playing field and kicking a ball around - using a huge amount of space. I asked the gym instructor to please ask the kid to move around, and instead he dictated me to go stretch somewhere else (but he wasn't rude or anything, more in a "let the kid play" vibe).
But I got pissed off, so when I left I formally complained on the administration, and explained that I was genuinely afraid the kid would eventually get hurt (which I am, but I'm actually more annoyed than anything). The administration lady seemed completely utterly fake when she agreed with me.
I felt like a super asshole, but there has been no kid around since that day.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
9Zryf62Dd5romYVprYCOwBGd6zipfCz9
|
a6i0jn
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my BF and not wanting to try and work things out",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA(f28) for breaking up with my BF(m38) and not wanting to try and work things out?
|
There is not much backstory needed except aparently he was homeless and living in hotels before we started dating and we moved way to fast in hindsight. (Relizing that was due to him being homeless)
We started dating 3 months ago and instantly clicked as far as interests and goals ect. He had originally told me he was inbetween places due to his job no longer needing him to travel back and forth between our home state and TX. My roomie and I were looking to fill our 3rd room so i impulsively offered the idea of chatting with my roomie about it. They said sure.
He stayed in his room for about all of 2 days before he knocked on my door and asked for help moving the rest of his stuff in. The first few bags went into his room, then he started saying "o well you can use this... Or o this would be better kept in your room we wont use it in mine.." (Dvds,game console ect the tv is in my room) Well by the end of it he was pretty much moved into my room with his room being a rather expensive closet.
After 1 month of paying for 2 rooms we made an arrangment to pay a bit more for just the one and keep looking to fill the 3rd. Everything was great and i didnt see any issue....
Then BOOM he is blowing up my phone while im at work constantly, like if i didnt answer his text in 4 mins or less he would text again and then call. That would go on all shift. Then he started telling me to "keep my stress about work at work" but keep bringing his home and get mad when i ask him to do the same. He wanted to know where i was 100% of the time and would even show up to my work unannounced almost like he was checking that i was not lieing. (I never did or give him reason to think so) It was just such an emotional drain and 180 flip that i couldn't do it anymore. I was already thinking about asking him to move back to the 3rd room.
Then last night happened.
I worked 6-2 at another property as a favor. He did his normal blow up right as my office got busy so i just put my phone on silent. Well that made me miss a call from my boss (im an assistant manager in a hotel) and i 100% cannot miss calls from her. So not ok. She was only calling me to ask if i would cover another property, as that properties manager had forgoten to schedule someone for that shift. I said sure cant say no to some good OT! That ment i had to go back to work at 6pm-10 (split it with someone else). Problem was that she gave me a property number not the name, so i had planned to leave early and run by my location to look it up. He wanted to know where i was going to be working and didnt like that i could not give him an answer right then, but asked me to text when i had time.
You guessed it. I never had the time until the last 30 mins of my shift. I kept trying to tell him when i declined his calls that i had a lady in my lobby shooting up and i was talking to police. Even tried again when he kept texting me, but i was not even reading his messages, only trying to let him know i saw the message and i was busy atm.
He got all sorts of pissy. Sending me messages like this: where? Are ? You? Working? Or just a plain '?' Kinda ticked me off so i told him so and said i didnt want to text about it and i would talk with him when i had some time.
I get home. He is not there. I crash out hard. Like dreaming before my head hit the pillow hard. (As of right now i have had 8 hours split up in 3 sessions of sleep in 48 hours [yes 100% addicted to OT]) He called aparently, but had no clue. And the rest of this long drawn out speel (sp?) happens all under 1 hour (i know this because at the end of it all my phone says i missed his call by 1 hour.)
He comes in drunk. Has his gun. And has been driving. I didn't look when he came in but it sounded like he was unloading it. He tries to kiss me and pretend that he wasnt out looking to try and catch me not at work and flex his pistol.
Im pissed even more and ask him to leave me alone. I dont have alot of time to sleep before my 6am start time and well i was mad AF. He starts talking hella drunk shit calling me a bitch. Then he says "and i dont even have confirmation of where you were tonight. Hope you had fun"
Boy i flipped around super fast and calmly as i could say " im an adult. I dont need to check in with you. If you dont like that there is the door."
He thought about it. Mumbled some more shit. Then left. Stating that he would show me how to use a door and that it will not be a revolving one. I guess meaning that if i called to beg him back (i didnt) that he wouldn't, but he was in my room on the floor when i woke up. Suprise. Now he is messaging me trying to guilt trip me and saying im acting like a child.
I dont want to reply and i dont really want to go home if he is still in there.
So how about it? AITA (or child lol)
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ljQpQj5LtAQSdGFvP1hlZaqKZJKqbFRH
|
b56s6b
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with an annoying person who has no other friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with an annoying person who has no other friends? (A long one so be prepared)
|
Ok some background first:
In my school I have a group of friends I usually hang out with. Last year a kid (whom I'll call Jerry) joined the class. For most of that year myself and my friends never really talked to him. Then eventually we felt bad because he didn't really have no other friends. So, we decide to kind of add Jerry to the group. He seems happy enough and things were going fine until I added him to our group chat. That's when all hell broke loose. First, we had to add him to a separate one because one of my friends (whom I'll call Kat) HATED him. Whenever Jerry and her were together she would just not be for it. So, after Jerry and Kat are separate group chats we realized that Jerry cannot take a joke for his life. So, we have to be literal with everything that we say (which is hard because we all are sarcastic). Once again, it wasn't much of a big deal until Jerry says one day (when for some reason he and Kat were in the same chat) "Hey Kat I like your ass." We were all shocked because he was still new and stuff. Of course we all take offense to this because we've known Kat for longer and we thought he was serious. Then my other friend (we'll call Jub) starts trying to defend him until he says "Jub I like your ass" and "I look at Jub and Kat ass." Yeah Jerry was kicked soon after. Jub tried to defend him but the rest of us agreed that he went way too far. Now fast forward to the next school year. Kat had left the school so now there's an open spot at our table for 4 (the rest of the group was spread throughout different classes). Jerry decides to take it. Here comes part two. We notice that Jerry tends to stare... In the wrong places. In a group of 80% girls this is a problem. On top of that he doesn't do his work (a problem for a group of people who do their work) and is a constant distraction. He also starts to be VERY annoying. He will constantly try to peek into others conversations, fake a throw or hit to you and swap pencils. All of us start to become very annoyed. Even Jub, who at first defended him wanted to cut him off. I wanted to give him one last chance however. So we kept him. Now here's the final straw. He starts to hangout with this group of boys we call "roaches." They are loud, disrespectful, and just all around annoying. So now, Jerry's attracting the wrong people over here and we're all over it. My two other friends in the class have already cut him off but I'm hesitant to. So, Jerry constantly is around me doing the same stuff. I've tried to subtly cut him off but he's too dense to realize the hints. He's also recently said things about my girlfriends ass and I didn't like that.
Long story short: Am I the Asshole if I cut off a person who is a pervert, constantly being annoying and distracting, and said perveted things about my girlfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
NNkAHsl0TE8RTa4CYTGBFYo5rVIRuqEn
|
b87mmt
|
{
"description": "eating Chick-fil-a despite being supportive of the LGBT+ community",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for eating Chick-fil-A despite being supportive of the LGBT+ community?
|
Yes, this is serious. My friends think I’m an asshole for giving my money to Chick-fil-A.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
naawEWhuNZQAlHGWwOPJrMSGlRU8zGLe
|
aclo86
|
{
"description": "not turning up for something I didn't say I was going to go for",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I don’t turn up for something I didn’t say I was gonna go for?
|
Backstory is that I haven’t seen this group of friends for around a year. And they’ve been off doing their own things and hanging out amongst themselves without me, because it was awkward between me and another person in that group, and that person made it clear that if I was going, he wouldn’t go (which I think is fair, because he can’t stop them from asking me to go, but he doesn’t want to put himself in an awkward situation).
I just don’t get good feelings because I feel like they made a choice, which while I don’t blame them for, has definitely affected the way I feel towards them.
The last time I met them, it was because that person was finally no longer awkward, but when I went, I felt really left out (which I Guess was to be expected, given that I hadn’t seen them in a long time).
So this time, I got added into a group to arrange a meetup. I didn’t speak at all, and never put my name under any days to indicate availability (they were asking), and neither did I vote for any of the choices for what to eat.
I thought it was pretty safe to assume I wasn’t going, but now it looks like from what one of the guys are saying, I’m going.
To be frank, I honestly don’t feel like I owe them an explanation, but I was wondering if I’m being an asshole about this whole thing and if not turning up without notice would make me an asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
8ODlcv4yC5I71omafdOH3ilTq3X29qRA
|
aurdz5
|
{
"description": "getting upset about my boyfriend and porn",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting upset about my boyfriend and porn?
|
So a little back history of us.. My boyfriend and I have been together a few years now and have a son on the way. Sex has always been a touchy subject for me as right before we met, I was sexually assaulted. I’m incredibly grateful that he stuck it through while I dealt it when he could have made a run for the door after finding out. He was patient with me when I had any panic attacks or if I needed to stop when we were having sex. Because of all this we’ve always tried to be as open as possible with each other.
When we started dating he told me about the kind of porn he likes to watch and how often he would watch it. It wasn’t a big deal, I thought it was normal. However lately I’ve been getting a little irritated at the fact that sometimes right after sex I’ll catch him watching videos or looking at pictures on his phone while he masturbates. He’s told me before that he does it when he’s bored or tired and even though I never really understood that it was okay. He will even watch it during breaks at work and stuff. It’s not like he’s ever hiding it, if I ask about it he’s completely open with me about it. So maybe I’m being extra sensitive since I’m pregnant but it’s starting to bother me now. We have sex a few times a week, mostly during the weekends since our schedules aren’t always in sync.
He’s told me before he feels like his relationship with porn wasn’t always healthy because he was exposed to it at a very young age. His sex drive has always been a bit higher than mine, (I mentioned the assault earlier) so I try to be understanding as well. But now I’m starting to feel insecure like I was in the beginning of our relationship. Yesterday we had a long but enjoyable day and when we were settling down in bed together he tried to make a move but I was just so exhausted from the day that it was hard to get in the mood and he got a bit frustrated about it and we went to bed. Today, I felt better and we had sex and had breakfast afterwards. He said he wanted to lay down for a bit while I took care of some things around the house. About forty minutes later, I went inside the room and he shuffled around a bit.. I asked what he was doing and he said he was getting aroused looking at pictures of fit girls on Instagram and it hurt my feelings a bit and I told him that it upset me and I walked out.
Am I being the asshole for just now starting to get angry at the fact that he’s looking at porn when it wasn’t a problem before? I feel like I don’t know what to think and that my emotions might be out of control because of the pregnancy.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
|
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RIGHT
|
606PKLHRvRLaED35v4FROxy2Sl7nzlV8
|
b7zmqv
|
{
"description": "having an inappropriate conversation on a train",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for having an inappropriate conversation on a train?
|
First time every posting so sorry if it’s a mess.
So my friend and I were on a cross country train and after moving a couple times due to carriage changes we got to these seats for like half an hour.
We were just listening to music together and remembered that we had weird conversations with our ex music teacher and decided to look back through them. We were 16 at the time while he was 35 when they started and went on sporadically for about a year. He talked about getting me and my friend ‘wankered’ and more. we were discussing how young we were and had no idea how creepy all the kinds of stuff he was saying to us was and discussing if this was ok. I don’t know how loud it was to others but we weren’t whispering I’d say like normal conversation tone which may be weird for a busy train but at this point there’s like one person every 10 empty seats and no one is opposite us. Then this guy from a table next to us speaks up and says ‘I don’t think that’s a very appropriate conversation to be having on a train’. We were so embarrassed as he called us out loudly and me and my friend DONT do confrontation. We were shocked because he had headphones in and made a point of disdainfully removing them to y’all to us. honestly we were quite unaware of anyone else around us being uncomfortable.
We get he could have been triggered but also we feel like it was an asshole thing and we’d like opinions (please be gentle we mean no harm and just want to know if we fucked up)
Are we the assholes for having this conversation on a train or was it weird for this guy to butt in?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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WRONG
|
h9KDZYxdMhfUEn2Pl9UZ0f4FJbRIMerO
|
b49x7a
|
{
"description": "being upset with my boyfriends friend for not watching our pets",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset with my boyfriends friend for not watching our pets?
|
Hear me out. My boyfriend and I are away this weekend. We have five pets who are very dear to us - two cats, two dogs and our iguana.
We have a pet cam that I use to check up on them every so often while I’m away or at work. I also use it for security reasons, but that’s a different story. It sends notifications to my phone when significant movement is detected, such as someone walking in or out of the door.
Anyway, we asked his friend to watch our pets for us while we were gone. We offered $200 for the weekend and he said it was fine.
We keep the dogs in a crate when we’re not home. We left at about 7:30 that morning. My camera showed me that my bfs friend didn’t get to the house until well after 9pm. My poor dogs were locked up all day. I was irritated, but let it go because I figured he had to work or something. But when I checked in again, not even an hour later...the dogs were back in the crate and the house was dark. He left. We agreed for him to stay there and that was why we were paying him that amount of money. We wanted someone to stay at the house so that they wouldn’t have to be locked up.
At this point I’m furious. I am an eight hour drive away from home and I’m watching my poor dogs being locked up all day. I never even saw his friend go back to the house this morning to let them out, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
My boyfriend is saying I’m being ridiculous by spying on his friend and that everything is fine, but I can’t even have a good time knowing that my pets aren’t being properly taken care of. We’re not going home until Sunday.
Am I being a Bitch here? Because he swears I am.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
QVmuwwU62pVgelizciJfwM6PSuoi6z8j
|
a2dqad
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my (former) best friend's birthday",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my (former) best friend's birthday?
|
A bit of background, my former best friend and I have become estranged in the past year. We used to be inseparable, we talked and talked every day about most random stuff, and now we only send each other a meme or something every 2 or 3 days to keep the communication from dying. I don't really know what's going on in her life, and she doesn't seem to care about my life either. Our friendship is now just a shadow of what it used to be.
​
Anyway, her birthday is today, and as usual I called her a little after midnight to congratulate her and wish her all the best. She was out on some kind of party (not her party, to be clear) and promised she will call me later today to tell me when and where she will celebrate her birthday. The party was supposed to be tonight, and I only learned about it last night when I called her, so less than 24 hours in advance. Now, I'm not sure if she forgot about her promise, but it's almost 4 pm where I live and I still haven't received her call or message with details about her birthday. I don't feel comfortable calling her to ask, because I feel like I'm inviting myself somewhere I'm not welcome. I also don't really have a gift for her, and it's Sunday and all the shops are closed here, so how the hell am I supposed to go to a birthday without a gift?
​
I talked to a mutual friend who was also supposed to be invited and I told him my point of view. We are not organizing a casual meetup, so I believe it's only right to wait for an invitation to attend one's birthday. He tells me I shouldn't overthink this too much, that she intended to invite me but most probably forgot to call. I still feel uncomfortable and unwanted though, and I really consider not going to the birthday even if she calls me later to officially invite me. Would I be the asshole if I just excuse myself from this conundrum?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
xN0n059rRbLFRVfqgRYGBcmxX4wZFhzT
|
am6x98
|
{
"description": "wanting to confront an aquaintance about her companies use of child labour/poor environmental stance at a work function",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting to confront an aquaintance about her companies use of child labour/poor environmental stance at a work function?
|
This may not suit this sub as it hasn't happened yet sorry if so.
I will be attending my SOs workplace award night, one of the other wives is head of one of the major "fast fashion" (cheap clothing with new styles hitting the store every week) womens clothing chains in Australia.
I guess I'll factor her personality in to this; She is absolutely dripping in money and she unashamedly brags about 6 star holidays her and her toy boy take every few months. She also brags about the $2,000 bottles of tequila she loves *"and I drink allllloottttt of that tequillllaaaaaa!"*. So she likes to brag and remind you how poor you are. Shes horrid tbh.
I have found out this company is manufactured in a province of China that uses child labour. Ive also found out they have a poor environmental record. I feel like I should say something as these are things I find abhorrent.
Should I mention this in conversation at this event? (which will be the only time I see her until the next Christmas party.)
So will I be the asshole for doing this?
Should I confront her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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WRONG
|
cDS0W7ubq4zYMzgHEjcxQL2QzExKb4gz
|
ath9cf
|
{
"description": "denying my wife a new kitchen",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 102
}
|
AITA for denying my wife a new kitchen?
|
Married for 8 years. 3 kids - aged 3 to 8. We live in a large 1980's house. When we bought it the plan and my promise was to completely refurbish. We've done about half the house - thoroughly, but not too much in the last years b/c of lots of work, small kids.
My wife now insists we refurbish the kitchen. The kitchen is now over 30 years old, originally very expensive but now shows its age. It is totally usable though, and in my eyes it's not that bad, though I agree it's not what we really want. But I don't want to fix the kitchen, not unconditionally.
She has a low income job, I'm high income. She works 70%, I work well above 150%, many evenings, weekends. I pay 90% of our bills from my salary. The new kitchen will cost $100k+. This will be all up to me to pay. We've had a few rounds of redecorations earlier, with contractors, and even though we didn't do much of the actual work ourselves - all the things like making plans and detailed decisions, dealing with contractors, buying materials, etc - I had to do it. She prefers to distance herself from these projects, just wants to "get it done" but doesn't want to be very involved in the "doing".
Furthermore, I've developed this feeling that she doesn't really deserve a new kitchen. She has no real interest in cooking dinner - and thinks that I should be the designated "gourmet chef" in the house. Dinner is usually just thrown together in 15 minutes. She has recently turned vegetarian, which I - a meat lover- is decidedly unhappy with. But even these new veggie meals are usually just the same goop as before - minus the meat. I can hardly remember 2 occacions where she made a well-planned and tasty meat meal for me. Otherwise, her dinner priorities is it has to be quick, for the kids, for her, and I just have to eat with my mouth shut.
So I've told her that she's not getting a new kitchen unless something changes. I want her to gain interest in cooking. I want at least once a week a meal of my liking. I want the purpose for a new kitchen to get better food, not just something to show visitors. I want her to more involved in the project itself, not just showing me pictures from magazines. Things like editing work plans, find serial numbers for items I must buy, and actually talk to contractors herself and not just through me.
She oppose this. Says I owe her and promised her this kitchen. She does most of the cooking anyway (I make dinner 2 times a week), and if I'm not happy I can just cook more myself. She must have something in return for all working nights and weekends where she has been left with the kids alone, and that I act like a Scrooge. She feels unempowered since I have veto on major decisions. Since I'm paying this and has to see it through, I feel it must be done on my terms.
We have a decent marriage, but this kitchen conflict has become sort of locked.
AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 86,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 16,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 102
}
|
WRONG
|
u8JWrKL68ntjCVOXGuOQ0oLwRxFITDvC
|
9vmb0m
|
{
"description": "dropping players from a team in a fantasy basketball league because I found hes a rapist",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for dropping players from a team in a fantasy basketball league because i found hes a rapist?
|
A little background on fantasy basketball, for those who aren't familiar: (If you are skip the first paragraph)
You have a group of people, in my case 6 of my close friends since high school, who come together and draft players from the NBA and make a team that scores you points as the season goes on. In the draft, the better players(ones that can score more points than others) are drafted early, so every team has a few good players on them.
Two weeks ago, we found out that one of the people in group, we'll call Greg, raped a girl who's also a close friend to all of us (we confronted him about it, he admitted to it), and we stopped associating with him entirely afterwards, since he moved out of state. Unfortunately, he is in the fantasy league, and we can't kick him out of the league, which has another 16 weeks until it ends. I have been taking his good players out of his team(I am league manager so i have powers to do so) and giving his players to other people in the league. Am I the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
q13Bgc9niyukkGcMAvBddG3aXErBXYRA
|
b8uzpw
|
{
"description": "riding my bike on the sidewalk",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for riding my bike on the sidewalk?
|
Where I live, one is legally permitted to bike on the sidewalk as long as you yield to pedestrians. Whilst biking, I use bike or car lanes most of the time, but if I have to make a left turn using a crosswalk and I end up on the wrong side of the road, I'll usually stay on the sidewalk until I hit another crosswalk and I can get on the right side again.
This was the case today, and the sidewalk I was going down was relatively narrow (I would say double-file, give or take). I saw a dude walking towards me with his kid and his dog, so I moved as far right as I could and slowed down (there was enough room for us to pass each other). He continued to walk straight down the middle of the sidewalk, and when he got close enough that I stopped completely, he pointed at the bike lane next to us (going down the wrong side of the road) and said in a condescending tone "You know, they have the bike lanes for a reason" or something to that effect. I didn't really know what to do with this so I just said "OK" and started pedaling again. He then proceeded past me and kicked my back wheel decently hard.
I'm relatively sure he wasn't justified, but was there anything I could or should have done differently in the situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3fCu8xRUZEUXtueV19ohtlZpTdQGXxBz
|
as2wrr
|
{
"description": "not buying a wedding gift",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTA if I don't buy a wedding gift?
|
I've just gotten a wedding invitation. It's the very first I'veever gotten as an adult, (I'm 34). I know the groom from being in the same weekly boardgame group. We meet every week at the house of one of the members. There are about seven people in the group, so it's not one of those huge events where some people barely know each other. That being said, I'm not close to the groom at all; we don't hang out or have any real friendship outside the game nights.
So...I understand that it's the norm to give a wedding gift. The problem here is that I work two minimum wage jobs. I live by myself, and can only barely manage my own rent. The groom knows this about me.
I **do** have abou 41000 in savings; however, I'd prefer to hold onto that for my own needs-what if my car breaks down?
Will I be the asshole if I don't give a gift?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
QvnZwadXKD7s9LpBhfSRRjbqb9VMZznH
|
9zcyl3
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help mentally handicapped people",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for not wanting to help mentally handicapped people
|
Every time I see any mentally disabled person getting extra help I get a rage of unquenchable heat. I literally get mad everytime I see them. I live a hard life I have troubles but I don’t get to ride of on every little problem because I’m a genetic failure. That’s how I think and I’m starting to think I should feel bad about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
cNUBe61XbToS0ScAEVrOxkm4mpBvwESu
|
a6oiz2
|
{
"description": "craving sex whilst the guy I'm dating is away",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
Aita for craving sex whilst the guy I'm dating is away?
|
Back in mid summer, I met a wonderful guy. Educated, kind, everything I could want in a man. From the get go he told me his job meant he would be away for 6 months every year until his contract runs out. We went on 4-5 amazing dates, never slept with eachother or stated we were in a relationship. But we both know we adore eachother. Before he left, we both promised that we'd wait for eachother - meaning, we will both stay single until he gets back, and we'll continue dating and get into a serious relationship.
I have a very high sex drive, higher than any other person I've met. I've been in relationships where we've been having sex upwards of 8 times a day. He's been gone for 2 months. We can't talk every day because of the signal where he works, sometimes we won't talk for 2 weeks.
I've been going absolutely mad, I've never been without sex for this long in years. I feel so guilty even thinking about having a 1 night stand, I don't even reply to guys that message me because it makes me feel as if I'm betraying him. I think if I ever did have sex with anyone else in this time, I'd feel sick to my stomach afterwards. I've even stopped going on nights out so I'm not tempted -the last time I went on a night out, I got really really drunk and I kissed someone. I've reasoned that we aren't even really together,but I feel as if that's shitty reasoning, and I'm still an asshole.
Maybe I'm an asshole for putting my life on hold, but I don't want to throw away a diamond standard guy for a bunch of rocks in tin foil. Am I an asshole for wanting sex whilst the guy I'm dating is away working?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
jRVzhpRcD5trnEWQ3QQGmC1TtlDPasC3
|
ag28jp
|
{
"description": "calling a guy in my friends circling a c*nt because he was making ratings of everyone, and purposefully giving me a bad one in order to humiliate me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA because I called a guy in my friends circle a c*nt because he was making ratings of everyone, and purposefully gave me a bad one in order to humiliate me?
|
A little context if necessary:
He knows that I dislike him and I know that he dislikes me, we only oretty much "hang out" because we have mutual friends. He essentially only likes my best friend, lets call him Bob.
Bob and I have known each other for 7 years, and met Bill (the *cunt*) 3 years ago. He was kinda dorky and wet, but we all were in Year 7 so I kinda just brushed it off and made friends with him.
A year into High School, I start to dislike him because he was always doing things that were fucking atrocious like telling this new kid to kill himself because he didn't agree with him in an argument. For some reason my friends still liked him though.
The only other friend that didn't like him is Barry. I started to drift from Bob because he and Bill were becoming really close friends, so I started hanging out with Barry more. Bill starts to really hate me at this point.
So what happened on Friday last week was he made a list of everyone, and a rating of their characteristics; Personality, Athletics, Looks etc. He then did an average of everyone and told them, and gave everyone a 9 - 10 except me, with a 2.
I don't really care that I got a 2 I just found it insulting that he was judging everyone and me and giving everyone a definite rating, he then started bringing it up at every piint he could and I tolded him he was a cunt. Now all my friends dislike me except Barry.
TL;DR: Gave everyone in my form a rating based their characteristics, and tried to humiliate me because he gave me a low one, I called him a cunt now everyone dialikes me except one friend.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
fvSbSZsAr5P4AIqcCuoMHE2usemjRnBU
|
adny8u
|
{
"description": "getting my 75 cent refund",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting my 75 cent refund
|
My first post so i hope i'm doing this right
I went to a chain gas station one night after work to fill up my tires with air i put my money in the air compressor (75 cents) before i realized that the machine was missing its hose so effectively breaking it. I went in to tell the attendant about the issue and to try to get my money back, he informed me that I was the third person to come in that night and unfortunately he couldn't give me a refund because he needed a manager to do so. He had me write on some receipt paper my name and what happened and told me to come back the next day for my refund. The station is right by my work so on my way to lunch the next day I swung by. When i told the cashier why i was there she called over her manager. The manager came over, the cashier told him what I wanted and he proceeded to stare at me like I was taking a dump right in the aisle slowly reach in the cash register and hand me 3 quarters without saying a word to me. AITA because i went back for 75? Am i bigger asshole because I expected him to apologize for his machine being broken?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
hhUjGrMZ3cj9YX7Won0BaE7eck1oCihg
|
b003xq
| null |
AITA Idk what to call this
|
last week we were hit with a lot of snow. i was in school when it happened and was excited because i was taking the bus to my sisters that day. my sister is 20 yrs older than me and has 3 children, we got about 4 inches of snow and it was fun. me and my two nephews were building a snowman and we were having fun until my niece came outside and asked if she could help. i didn't have a problem with her helping but she is a bitch sometimes and thats where this is going. she was helping with the body of it and got really close to me when she said she was done. i told her it didn't look big enough and asked to keep adding snow to it. she said ok, but as soon as i turned around she ran over and smashed it in my face i was used to this and didn't do anything but it hurt like hell. after that i picked up some snow and threw it at her. she yelled STOP THAT HURT, i was like wtf its snow. but she didn't care she got pissed and tried to destroy the snowman, i pushed her and she tripped, she got even more mad and starting punching me.
me: What are you doing?
niece: why did you push me down!
Me: because your trying to destroy the snowman
She kept on kicking and punching but i held my ground, now my niece is 4 years younger than me but she is a bitch and she got what was coming. she stormed off and started knocking over her little brother (he's 4) with snow he started crying and ran over to me i put him behind me and told him to not do anything, i had a great plan. i scooped up some snow and after ten minutes it was as hard as a rock i molded it into a stone shape, as i was doing this my niece kept destroying the snowman, at this point i didnt care about the snowman anymore. when she got close to me to kick my crotch area i threw the ice ball right in her eye she cried and ran in the house i went home knowing that she would be in trouble for pushing down her brother. i felt great. BUT idk if im the butthole or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
dyDyqhwRtup3FwMMO7v5zfuZIhS99ZUt
|
b6qoyy
|
{
"description": "offering help to a possibly abused child",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for offering help to a possibly abused child?
|
So, a minor bit of history, I'm a teacher at a college. We are mandatory state reporters of child abuse AFAIK.
I was standing in line at a store waiting to get paint and I see the family in front of me. When I first walked up, the teenage girl had a red mark along the side of her forehead, but it didn't really look anything worrisome.
I'm standing behind her and her family and while the mother is talking about paint colors the husband grabs the girl by the back of the neck leans in close and starts whispering. I was only able to hear because I was behind them, but he was saying "is that makeup I see?" over and over while squeezing. Eventually, she said "It hurts" and punched him in the chest once. I hoped he would release her so I could ask her if she needed help, but he kept holding down the back of her neck and said "We'll discuss this at home". When they went to leave I asked her if she was OK or if she needed help. I could immediately smell the alcohol from the father right then. I said I was a teacher and I am a mandatory state reporter and if she felt in danger or needed help, she could tell me. She looked at him (with his hand still on her neck) and he said "Go ahead, tell him" and she said "no". The mother said it was how they "played" and the mother said it was just them roughhousing.
I dismissed it, as he became very quickly belligerent demanding all my information and my place of work. I wrote down my name and place of work as he wanted to make a complaint. The wife took it and explained that it was how the two of them normally interacted. I apologized for the mistake (which, I'm not even sure was a mistake but I was too concerned about losing my job to press the situation because our school isn't the most supportive of staff at the moment, and he was also getting increasingly loud).
Honestly, I may have approached a bit strong, but I've never actually had to approach someone before like this and my former Army "Directness" sort of took control. I've seem some screwed up stuff, but I couldn't just stand and watch him squeeze the pressure point on the back of her neck like that and had to speak up.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
j0jPAqrAxacmPcNVvNpMF1GtRUBPO9AF
|
b9kleg
|
{
"description": "answering a journalist questions about my work making artillery ammunition",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for answering a journalist questions about my work making artillery ammunition?
|
First of all, english is not my native language, sorry if don't spell it well. Also TL:DR at the bottom.
Some context:
I work in a factory called expal, making artillery of all kind.
Well, yesterday I was in the bus way to my house and my coworkers noticed that a car was following the bus and trying to talk with the employees. So come to my stop I left the bus and they ask me if I want to talk, I reply "Okay" then they pull the car, introduce themselves and start asking some questions about my job. I work making ammunation so they asked me a few questions such as: "Don't you feel regret or guilty conscience", "that weapons are for this country or they go to another country", "how many people work there", stuff like this.
I gave them my opinion and some info but nothing too important, they diden't record me or anything so no problem there, we say goodbye and I go to my house.
​
the day passes and I go to sleep, and then to work like everyday.
​
I diden't tell anyone but I guess my coworkers in the bus saw me talking with them and today I feel really harassed, my coworkers constantly asking me "what did you tell them?", "you are going to have problems for that" and making my anxious because I don't want to talk about that and I don't see it as something bad. I consider myseld as a kind person and if someone wants to ask me something I don't have any problem to reply.
​
Things cooled down, I was doing my business and then is when the head of human resources come to talk with me. She asked if I talked with the journalist and what did I said, and I replied with the truth cause I don't see any problem with that. Well she stars to tell me that I shouldn't do that, followed by a lot of stupid things, I said ok but I did not agree at all. First of all I diden't signed any confidenciallity agreement and everyone know what we do here, they even have a web page, and I think everything I do outside my work is my personal life and I can say whatever I want, at least that's my opinion.
​
So what do you think? AITA?
​
TL:DR: Journalist asked about my job making artillery and I replied, then at my job everyone starts asking me and harassing me for that and the head of human reources told me that I can't do that and can cause problems to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3rqRHkum9MLcjNsFfNZNGOdHimjzj9rZ
|
a99rxt
|
{
"description": "sleeping with someone else after breaking off my engagement/relationship",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for sleeping with someone else after breaking off my engagement/relationship?
|
My ex popped the question like 5 months into our relationship, I’d just turned 18. We ended up being together for a little over a year, with the wedding set for June. We broke up on my birthday in May, I had zero intentions of getting back together. I had sex with my old fuck buddy the night after the break up. Ex found out because he couldn’t reach me and went riding all over the city trying to find me. Lots of fighting and calling me every name he could think of ensued on his part, I just listened. And then he says “I was willing to give you another chance but you had to go and fuck that up” except I never wanted another chance. I was done. I didn’t want to hear from him or see him anymore. So I told him that. I just wanted it to be through. And then I moved to another state a few hundred miles away. AITA in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
lcb6c0A6zzTOVh0Ir5HESuzoWr4HThuD
|
acwkrk
|
{
"description": "flirting with my ex, who reciprocated the feelings at first and didn't tell me he got a boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for flirting with my ex, who reciprocated the feelings at first and didn’t tell me he got a boyfriend?
|
For context, about 8 months ago I was in a long-distance relationship with a guy I knew online. It lasted a month, and we met a couple of times, but he dumped me and we didn’t speak for months.
On New Year’s Eve, he messaged me out of nowhere, presumably slightly drunk judging by his friendliness. I thought nothing of it and just went along with it, but he then continued messaging me the next morning. Over that day, he started being very romantic towards me, and I was pulled in by it, because he was charming and I hadn’t had a relationship since he left me 8 months prior. Early the next day, he mentioned that he’s seeing a guy he really likes in a day (we’ll call this guy Joey) but continued to be equally as flirty towards me, and he seemed extremely interested in a relationship. On the morning he was supposed to meet Joey, I asked him about it and he answered with short, vague messages, before telling me to stop talking about it; I presumed it’d fell through, he wasn’t meeting Joey after all, and it’d put him in a bad mood, an assumption that was further proved by him spending the rest of the day and night playing video games. I cautiously tried to be flirty with him later in the day in an attempt to cheer him up but told him I’d stop if he wasn’t in the mood; unsurprisingly, he sent a very vague message saying that he didn’t want to. I took this to mean that he just didn’t want to on that day, due to his failed meetup with Joey earlier, and assumed that he’d be more like his usual self the next day.
I began messaging him that next morning, and he seemed a bit more distant; I was always starting conversations and he took a while to respond, but otherwise he seemed his usual self as a whole, making me think that he’d be romantic again (by this point I was interested in him, so I wanted him to be romantic). I sent him a single flirty message later in the day, and he unexpectedly flipped out; he claimed that we’d agreed to stop (I assume he was referring to the message the day before, which I mistakenly thought only referred to that day). That was followed by the revelation that his boyfriend (presumably Joey) was sitting right next to him and read the message; I wasn’t told that he’d got a boyfriend, yet my ex went on a tirade about boundaries, and pushed all the blame onto me. A few minutes later Joey sent me an angry snapchat message, telling me that my ex – who had been flirting me a day prior – was ‘his’, and that I upset him (I assume my ex told him my snapchat name, because I sure as hell didn’t). Following that, I apologised profusely and distanced myself from my ex, realising that he’d manipulated me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XGNfEGv0I3K2EUIvvkgcthbMyBHHkoaN
|
asqna1
|
{
"description": "not ever having brought a wedding gift",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not ever having brought a wedding gift?
|
So, I've been to various weddings the past few years, and I've never brought a wedding gift. I feel like I had a reason, though.
I don't know HOW I misunderstood this cultural tradition, but I did.
I didn't realize wedding gifts were a "thing". I knew some people gave marriage gifts, but I thought it was limited to close family. I had NO idea guests traditionally brought gifts to a wedding. I have recently, like in the last 7 days, had the practice of giving wedding gifts, and gifts in general, explained to me.
Is this something I should try to make right? Do I need to go and send belated gifts with an explanation? What about for a wedding where I was just a friends plus one, kind of a last minute invite so she had a date/DD?
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
GhFPeYOVzBJsrhCRuFlsuk0b91jcFhyt
|
b5qqa0
|
{
"description": "getting a purebred rather than a rescue",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I get a purebred rather than a rescue?
|
Context: My mom is one of the top dog obedience handlers in the country. She trains and shows springer spaniels, and I grew up with 3-5 springers in the house at any given time. When I was 12, she bought me a springer, Luna, to show and train and I spent a good portion of my high school years in the obedience ring. Luna passed away five years ago, and I haven't had a dog since.
My husband and I have been planning to get a dog for more than a year. The reason we've waited so long is because my mom occasionally breeds litters to further her line of springers. She currently has one bitch that can be bred who was supposed to come into season in August. She still hasn't come into season eight months later, and we're getting to the point where we can't wait forever. We are planning to start trying for a baby this fall, and since I'm going to be the one training our dog, I'd like to get puppy settled and house trained before I'm potentially dealing with morning sickness, etc..
My husband and I talked this over and we decided that if my mom's dog isn't pregnant by June, we will get a different dog. I would love nothing more than to have one of my mom's springers, but it's more important to me to just get a dog than to get a dog from my mom's line.
I would still prefer to get a springer. I know this breed like the back of my hand, and I plan to train the dog in obedience and potentially agility. I want an outgoing, high-energy working dog. This dog would be a companion first, but would also be my partner in this sport. It's important to me to get a puppy so I can properly socialize it, especially by bringing it around my friends' kids so it's used to children by the time we have our own.
I've talked through the dog situation with a few friends, and have told them my plans to get a springer even if my mom's litter doesn't pan out. I had a few people recommend shelters where they got their dogs. I am open to looking at rescue puppies, but I'm leaning much more heavily toward getting a springer from a reputable breeder.
Pretty much everyone I've told about my plans to get a purebred have been judgmental and unsupportive. I've been scolded with the "adopt, don't shop" mantra and asked why I would buy a purebred when so many shelter dogs need loving homes. I think rescuing a dog is a wonderful thing, and I give people who choose that option a lot of credit. But I don't agree with this idea that shelters are the ONLY morally acceptable option for getting a dog.
I'm sorry, but I do not want a dog with built in behavioral issues. Shelter dogs are a toss up in terms of temperament, potential health issues, and how the puppy was socialized early on. I do not want an abused dog that will be fearful or potentially aggressive.
WIBTA if I get a purebred dog?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
qenDsmVjxW2CxBdNaL4wlusRIoLkWHto
|
aob6zd
|
{
"description": "wanting my roommate's homeless/jobless boyfriend to leave our home after staying for nearly 2 weeks",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my roommate's homeless/jobless boyfriend to leave our home after staying for nearly 2 weeks?
|
**Long**
About 2 weeks ago, my roommate texted me asking if her boyfriend can stay over for a couple of days. I replied, "Yes, long distance suck and it's no problem (he lived and worked 2 hours away)!" On about day 3, I grew suspicious due to subliminal messages. He told me he lost his job and looking for a new one. The next day, he was talking to a friend outside and I walked passed and he my roommate is out here. I knew had a bad feeling. That same day, he said, "we are getting a TV in here." I said we? and he ignored me. Worst of all, he would not give me space for the first week. He would come to talk while I was in my bedroom with my door closed. If I am on the phone, he would put himself in my conversation.
By day 6, I text my roommate "how long is he staying because it's been a couple of days, is everything okay?" She replied, " I wanted to talk about that, is it okay if he lives here? It would lower the rent." After collecting my thoughts, I said I would rather move out if he can take my lease. The next day Rent was due so I said if he plans on staying, he needs to pay a third. She didn't reply for two days so I had to confront her about it Monday (Day 8). I asked her what is going on? He said he has been looking for a job but couldn't find one. She asked what would I prefer. I said I would prefer him not living here and if he plans to stay he needs to pay a third of the rent. She said she needs a couple of days to think.
I gave her 3 days and asked what are the updates? No reply, so I texted her the next day. I asked, "Can you please tell me what's going on. I want things figured out by Monday and I plan on talking to the leasing office if things aren't sorted. She replied, " I need time to find a solution, it's hard to find someplace else to live but I'm working on it." I replied, "No disrespect but I have to talk to the leasing office if he's still here and he needs to pay. I feel used but I know you meant no harm." She said she understands and will pay his third if need be.
I don't think it's mean that I want him gone but my friends do. They said he might be on the streets and my issues are minor. I think it's unfair that I have to take in a stranger whom I know nothing about and help pay rent/utilities when I am still buying household items and have other bills. Also, there's not much trust anymore.
Do y'all think I am being mean? Also, do y'all think I should tell my leasing office what is going on Monday (that will be 2 weeks officially).
Some background: *I didn't know he was planning to live here until after a week.
*After he came, they started eating my food but I confronted them about it twice (in person and text) and it didn't happen again
*His roommate kicked him out so that's why he's here
* My leasing office said if a person lives here for 2 weeks, he must be on the lease, and I don't want to mess my lease up
* I am a 24y/o young professional, my first apartment in a city I'm not from, my roommate works too.
*People says I should let him stay because he's homeless, but I seriously can't afford letting him stay here free and there's too many red flags
*I LOVE my privacy and quietness
*They're nice, but they weren't honest with me and avoided communicating with me until I confronted them
**UPDATE** She left the apartment and took all of her belongings. Since we shared the lease, I am left to pay for the rent/utilities, and she didn't pay her half this month. She won't respond to me and I don't know where she currently lives. Luckily, the leasing office is allowing me to find another roommate. I am preparing for legal action.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 10,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
kI8synEpT9inysyfITDgrTnbU2sUBsKp
|
aulkg8
|
{
"description": "stopping my player from bombing a base in D&D",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for stopping my player from bombing a base in D&D?
|
Player did a creative but stupid kill plan, I killed him, he got upset and told me I was a dickhead after game, AITA?
So small background: I've been a dungeon master for about 4 years now. This is my 3rd campaign I've been running, and I've just had an odd issue with one of my players.
This session, the party had arrived in a small military outpost, and were supposed to find some way to get the leading military figure there to help the party reach a certain location (keeping it vague for simplicity's sake). One of my players, let's call him L, decided that he wanted to try and kill the figure. No big deal, right? Well, his idea was to plant stupid amounts of explosives (this was a steampunk-esque game, so he had access to explosives) in the figure's private quarters. I had established that this figure what both powerful, ruthless, and a bit of a recluse. So when he busted into the room and attempted to place bombs, only to get shot by the figure & cause a major security alert, he got really upset.
He didn't seem to expect them figure to be there, for whatever reason (he didn't make any checks to see if he was there or not, just assumed), and got a lot more annoyed when his lv5 monk got dropped in 1 turn, before he could do anything. He stayed quiet for the rest of the session, and later messaged me that I was being an asshole for shutting down his plan. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
gedNnT9fnws1HKcxQmMwPpgWr1L4NcJI
|
atlukh
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to star in a movie",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to star in a movie
|
We've been together for about a year and things have been going great. Yesterday she came to me about potentially starring in a movie where she would have the main role, and have intimate scenes with another guy. She asked me what I thought and I just said we should talk about it later.
I really don't feel comfortable with her being intimate with someone else and have thought about giving her a choice between me and the movie.
AITA for not wanting her to be intimate with someone on set?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
B7VHdSSReuh52kLhSnNYHBuHmXjnjb3F
|
b3irxc
|
{
"description": "offering free tickets to a friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AItA For offering free tickets to a friend
|
Probably more so asking am I the creep
I(M) and Friend(W) were sitting next to each other in class, we've been talking frequently since the semester has started and I noticed she was out of it. I message her later over insta and she says she was just kinda drunk because she's been depressed and stressed about personal stuff.
So just a bit of background, I'm not a big movie guy, and when I went to a networking event there was a booth offering the chance for free tickets for your business card. So I put it in since it was a company I wouldn't mind an internship with them anyways. I won the vouchers and they've been sitting in my email box for 4 months.
I'm not close enough to her to address that it was kinda strange she's drunk in class, and I didn't know enough about the situation to sympathize or empathize with her. So I thought that it would be a good opportunity to say "If you are looking to do something to get your mind off things, I have two vouchers for amc I got for free and don't plan on using them. If you want them their yours" she replied "I'd love to buy I have class at 7 lmao", I was confused and said "oh...their just coupons for free tickets u use them whenever, Im not a movie person and don't need them, and it sounded like you would appreciate them with the week you've had".
She doesn't respond and when I try to say hi in class the next day she ignores me, and rather than sitting next to me like she usually does she sits on the other side of the room.
Now the conversation is verbatim so if it was something I messaged let me know. If I'm overstepping somehow, I'm open to it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
yqqbx5ymkU30Y6HFa8QH7D104OJM6uUU
|
aw65fe
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my mom after asking to have my brothers do a fair share in chores",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my mom after asking to have my brothers do a fair share in chores?
|
Basically what has been going on for the past \~3 years is that I have done all the chores for my brothers. Be it laundry, dishes, cleaning stuff, walking the dog etc., I am the first person called and when she calls for all of us I am the only one that comes (I don't know if they ignore her or if they actually don't hear her).
​
I usually do it without complaint, because you know, chores. However, in the past 2 months, I've been putting some resistance to it, and ask her to have my brothers do it. She says she will and then never follows up on it, and the next day I'm doing everything again.
​
One day I make sure they come. I ask "Maybe brother should walk the dog." She says he can do another chore and I put my foot down and make her call him down, cause I've walked the dog twice that day, and she goes back to her office to work. Fucker says "so which one of us are going? I have to get back to my game." so I just say no I got it, and go walk the dog. When I get back I have another chore to do and I flip the fuck out on my mom. This was basically the interaction.
​
Mo: Hey sheckle's, can you do the washer?
​
M: No
​
Mo: Why? I don't want to do it.
​
M: Well I just think I'm doing everything and I constantly tell you what I do and why I think my brothers should do it, you say you will fix it by making them do the chores and they still don't come down, so you call me!
​
Mo: Oh my god sheckles, stop worrying about your brothers, they are fine.
​
M: Little brother hasn't even walked the dog in a week!
​
Mo: 4 years ago you were just like him.
​
M: Does that mean he should continue to be lazy?
​
Mo: Sheckles stop being so petty, I tell you to do it because you do it the best.
​
M: What the fuck does that mean? I do it the best because I'm the only one that does anything! Maybe you should teach them how to do chores and make them get off their games to help me!
​
Mo: Stop being rude! I'm not talking about this with you anymore.
​
At that point I went to my room and I haven't left. It's morning and school is in a bit, and I'm not exactly excited to go down. I feel like I'm in the right, but I don't know. am I really being that petty? Should I just do the chores?
I rarely fight with my mom so this is a very big deal for me and I don't know how she reacted.
TL;DR: I'm putting my foot down about doing chores around the house and I got into a fight with my mom. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 21,
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"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9Y6XYDPJDpHvKo50b0z8kzofZbqjanSE
|
b3mp8w
|
{
"description": "being upset my so put her diffuser near my books",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset my SO put her diffuser near my books
|
Sorry Mobile/Formatting yada yada
So I recently mustered up some money to replace my OLD D&D Books, (DM Guide, Player Handbook, Monster Manual.) i put my books on the TV stand because I like to graB and read while I flip through TV. Well our TV was moved because we are letting her little brother borrow it, we don’t rely on it. However my SO then moved her essential oils diffuser thing and put it on that shelf, we don’t have a lot of space in the room and I shit you not there is nowhere else for my books to go, the shelf is filled with the babies books, toys and whatnot- her desk is covered in her college stuff, and the dresser is occupied by both our things. She usually has her diffuser up in the window sill. Now before you say “why not put the books there” they are big books and her diffuser is about half the width and she commonly occupies it with her food and drink which I also didn’t want to risk spilling on the books.
Now I figured she’d have moved it back, i had told her I would not like it as the vapours falling around my books would warp the pages. She said they would not and continued to use the diffuser there. She only ever turns it on when I’m not around anyways because I cant stand the oils but I had assumed she would have moved it. Having not I put it back on the window sill and later she had moved it back, being busy with work and so-on it kind of faded from my mind until I picked up my books to see all 3 of them with warped wavy pages. This made me upset and I told my SO and she does not understand why I am so upset “It’s just a book it still works stop being a dick about it” is what I usually got. I know the book isn’t like destroyed but the wavy pages bother me and some may/may not understand but it’s just not pleasant.
AITA for being upset at her, or are they “just books”?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Bbke7VJ8Z6jjpihvzgwEmYxjSxZhx0aW
|
9yhz8t
|
{
"description": "refusing to refund out of date milk",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to refund out of date milk?
|
This sounds really petty and boring but it ends with me getting sour milk thrown at me while I was at work and I'm still mad about it to this day.
So when I was 16 I worked at a local newsagents which also sold general corner shop items, like milk. I was left in there on my own for 9 hour shifts on a Saturday, and the owner of the shop only used to come in at the end of my shift to pay me The owner had told me to start being stricter with customers, since I often gave in to complaints and gave refunds for things like late newspaper deliveries etc. and I was losing him money.
One day this man comes in and says that the milk he bought at the shop yesterday was out of date and asked if he could swap it for another carton. When I checked the sell-by date, it was yesterday's date, as in it was in-date when we sold it yesterday, but overnight it passed its sell-by and was now gross. So remembering what my boss told me I told the guy no, I wouldn't let him take a new carton, since we never actually sold out-of-date milk. He then got furious, called me a "fucking dickhead" for being trying to rip him off and for petty about a £1 carton of milk and as he left the shop he threw the carton of milk over his shoulder at me. It didn't hit me but it did burst open over the floor behind the till and I had to clean it up and it smelt absolutely vile. When my boss comes in to do some paperwork he asks me about the smell and I tell him the story, to which he angrily replies "you should have just given him a new carton, you've now lost me a loyal customer". I'm not over this 5 years later. Was I an arsehole for not refunding the out of date milk?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
mfQ4UglDBrjDLbZw2Ex0tXHwkJJeYSj6
|
b58h92
|
{
"description": "for holding a grudge with my \"friend?\"",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For for holding a grudge with my "friend?"
|
Im on mobile so there may be some errors.
Key: Me=Me Bff:Best friend FF=Fake friend
So some context. Basically, I'm in a group of me and two other friends, one of them has been my friend since kindergarten (BFF). The other(FF), joined my school in about 4th grade and so did another person but she has since left our friend group. Ever since the beginning, me and FF kinda fight over BFF but for the most part we got along and I trusted her.
The juicey stuff. After some time BFF told me that FF was saying some really mean stuff about me behind my back. I confronted her and she admitted it. I tried to end my friendship with her, but she would run away and cry and than lie about the situation to a teacher so me and BFF gave up on that. Eventually she said sorry. She said sorry several times but I never fully forgave her for the nasty things she said. What she said really hurt and still effects me to today BTW. Anyways, some years pass leading to now and I just stopped talking to her because I got really fed up. Now shes mad at me and I feel really bad and BFF keeps saying shes not as bad as I think and she keeps trying to make us be friends again and I feel really bad because BFF is my BFF and she dosnt so well with things like this.
Am I the ass for holding a gruge with my toxic friend after she said sorry and draging my BFF into it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
O2fSRsIsKufPgrxEXGrGCpYheWLuyLnY
|
a2ok35
|
{
"description": "intentionally spilling soda on this lady",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for intentionally spilling soda on this lady?
|
Yesterday, I got on a plane for a 6 hour flight across the US. Traveling is usually not too bad for me, because I'm like 5'0, 90lbs, despite being a 15 year old boy, so leg room is never an issue.
My flight was under booked, so there was only gonna be one other person in my row of three. I settle into the window seat (which was on my ticket) and wait. Finally, a woman shows up, she's about 25 and very tall, like maybe 5'11 or 6'0. She sits down in the aisle seat leaving a gap between us cause why not.
She makes friendly conversation with me, talking about her work and stuff, and I politely smile and listen, I don't mind any of that. Then she asks, because she's so tall, if she can have the window seat so she can stretch her legs without blocking the aisle. I happily say yes and switch with her and there's no problem.
A bit into the flight, she starts putting her stuff on the middle seat; her bag, her laptop - just for extra storage. I truly don't mind, I wouldn't have used it anyway. But then, she tells me that she's feeling really cramped, and needs more leg room. My legs barely touch the floor, so I offered to sit criss cross so she could stretch her legs across all three seats.
Things are fine for a while, I figure this won't be for the whole flight, but I notice her getting comfortable when she takers her shoes off. Twenty minutes later she fell asleep, still completely spread out, with her headphones in.
I'm the absolute worst at confrontation, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything to her. When the drink cart came around, I got a ginger ale, but didn't wake her up for anything. I then decided that I had enough of her sitting like this, so I "accidentally" spilled some soda onto her legs. She woke up, and I apologized saying it was an accident. She smiled and said it was all okay and moved her legs. I had my leg room for the rest of the flight.
I honestly feel really bad about doing it, part of me feels like she was being respectful the whole time and that I was the one out of place, but part of me also feels like she shouldn't have done that. Was I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 21
}
|
WRONG
|
IjfOPaZERmrXUEHdvknibalUgNzhBVUY
|
agsl4h
|
{
"description": "being upset when our conversation is cut or intruded by WhatsApp",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset when OUR conversation is cut or intruded by WhatsApp?
|
My husband and I have a super healthy relationship-at least I thing we do...but...
About 6 months ago he was invited to join WhatsApp (or something- I don't even know what it is), an app to have group texts.
He's in several groups, all with or without 7 different people. All friends I know/have met/people he grew up with. Some are married, some have kids, some hate SOs, some like sports, some just like making fun... Blah blah blah.
Lately it seems that when his phone 'pings', he'll drop what he doing- talking with me, helping the boys with homework, chores... Blah blah blah to read and respond.
Lately, I've quit talking if he does this. Then when he ask what I said, I say I forgot.
It annoys me. I tried to explain, but he gets defensive and then gets mad like ITAH.
Am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
0VQU3sD2RmrlTy1v6RgYWBEstovjpl0o
|
a2o04e
|
{
"description": "complaining to my gf's friend, who have been using my gf phone to text me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I complained to my gf's friend, who have been using my gf phone to text me
|
So me (21M) and my gf (21F) has been together for about a month. We got together by meeting this said friend, who I shall call H. H is gf's best friend of 14 years, and I have known H first for about half an year, and met my gf about a month ago.
So recently, H has been using my gf's phone to text me, mainly to tease and joke. She claims she can do it because I only know her for a month, and that they are friends of 14years. Now, I dare say that I am a very outgoing and big man, so I'm pretty alright with joking and playing around.
However, in the past they would let me know when H takes over the phone and is using her phone to text me, but now, they are just inter changing between them without letting me know, and I'm honestly getting freaked out by thinking that my gf has a split personality or she is just plain out saying bs. (Note, this is my first relationship, so I tend to be more careful)
Now, I am not sure if H is the one behind the phone talking sh*t to me, or if its my gf. So far I've been replying to my gf, knowing that it might be H behind. I've said some quite nasty things. So I've been thinking
WIBTA if i go straight to H and talk to her about it and asked her to stop, even though I'm not sure if its her, and without talking to my gf first?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3OsJLARTYcJbnlKB5bNMh2gpgFZiPlII
|
b4ox4a
|
{
"description": "getting my ps4",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting my ps4
|
Or trying to, atleast.
So, Ill start off by saying that I am currently out of the united states, about 7000 miles away from home. Im in the army and deployed so theres little in my realm of control when it comes to shit back home.
My wife is getting the new house we will move into, prepped and ready for me to come home. She lives currently 40 minutes away from my parents house, and she drove up there to grab a pair of shoes she left there a few weeks back. She has a key to the house, and has been explicitly told that she is free to come by when she pleases.
When she went to my parents home, no one was home, and my mother left her shoes sitting on the porch. I then told my wife to go inside and grab my ps4 so she could take it down to the new house. I then texted my mother that she was doing so, so that she would not be alarmed.
My mother ends up texting me a few minutes later and asked which one she grabbed. I told her it was the one in my room. She proceeded to tell me that the one in my room was my fathers ps4, and the one in the living room was my ps4. Still not sure why, but thats besides the point.
Come to find out she grabbed the wrong ps4 because of this mix up, which could have easily not happened, but it did. So i tell my wife to go back and switch them out. Thus, ensues the paragraphed text messages from my father.
My father proceeds to tell me that she had no right to take anything out of his home without his knowledge and permission. I get that, if it was his property. But the ps4 that was meant to be taken was mine, that i paid for with my own money.
I understand that it was all mixed up, but not even 5 minutes later, that problem was resolved. He then goes off telling me that he needs my ps4 and my wife doesnt need it right now anyway so she cant have it.
I then argue with my father for 3 hours about how it was ridiculous how upset he was getting, and that it was my property and my idea in the first place. I stated that he had told her she was free to do these things. I also stated that if i wasnt in a fucking 3rd world country right now, i would have done it myself.
He basically goes off saying im ungrateful for everything that hes ever done for me, and that i dont appreciate all the money he spent on me while i was growing up and didnt have a job. The argument gets so heated, that he states that if i were in front of him, he would punch me in the face. He just guilt trips me for basically everything ive ever done that has ever inconvenienced him.
Im in a super stressful inviroment right now and to be arguing with my father about a fucking ps4 is ridiculous. My wife ended up jusy leaving my ps4 there, and obviously leaving theirs aswell, and plugged it back up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
6iwXs6r0aEkK4CGsmUcY3Nvvjko8WgCW
|
9wj5o9
|
{
"description": "hitting my fiancee's child",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 42
}
|
AITA for hitting my fiancee's child?
|
Look, he's a little devil. He's always rude to my fiancee. But, when it comes to me, he acts so kind and gentle. I've noticed it, and she has too. Yesterday, he said he hated her and wanted nothing to do with her. He also said that he'd rather have me as his father than her as his mother. I was shocked even though I already knew that. So, I got up and slapped him. Earlier today, he apologized to me and he was just sobbing (still refused to apologize to his mom). I've never felt like more of an asshole than right there but my fiancee keeps saying it's fine. He's nine by the way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 42,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 42
}
|
WRONG
|
1Maqf2vRkXyJ8k161HLBCJTlC3xt0Jxr
|
awlh5j
|
{
"description": "posting our messages on Instagram",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for posting our messages on Instagram?
|
So I (22M) just started dating (talking, whatever) this girl (20F). She’s super shy and quiet, and I didn’t really know anything about her.
But after a month of going on dates and hanging out (around 10+ times) we were about to go out for dinner again and she asked where are we going to eat. I replied “I already have a placed picked out and I think it’s your favorite place, but I want you to guess where it is!” In which she began listing her favorite restaurants because she was guessing.
I then posted on my Instagram story our conversation and captioned it “how to get a girl to tell you where she really wants to eat”.
I cropped her name out of it, and nothing person was said (such as names or anything). All that was listed was me telling her to guess, and her naming restaurants.
When she saw the post, she then went off on me, cut the relationship off, and told me it was simply “not cool” to post our personal messages.
I saw it as nothing harmless, but she was very offended.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
s8PUCUYVbji4pPNm5uFijl4PUPGShltT
|
awdsa6
|
{
"description": "not being able to stand this dude",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AItA for not being able to stand this dude?
|
Okay, so I(M24) have what my be an irrational dislike for a guy I know (around the same age, a year or two younger than me) and I honestly just want some outside opinions. I'll try to keep it short. He and I are both actors (not big time or anything close) and the area we live/work in has a very small film industry, you run into/work with a lot of the same people. My dislike for him comes from a few things. Every audition/character of his I've seen is exactly the same, he plays every character like they're a tough guy even if they're not written that way, which makes me think he just wants to look like Mr. CoolGuy onscreen and that's why he's acting. He posts stuff from all his shoots with hashtags like #actorlife and lame shit like that. Just recently, I noticed that the only roles he gets that are sizable are in projects produced by people he's friends with. Aside from that, he seems to only do extra gigs, the kind where you just show up and stand in the background, no audition necessary. He responds to some casting posts to argue with the poster that they haven't given enough information, and then will be the first comment saying "Submitted!" on another one that gives even less. Everything he does just strikes me as really disingenuous and I think he's a kiss-ass. I don't know though. I'm not jealous of or intimidated by him unless it's something I've suppressed or something, he's a shit actor anyway (I've had others agree with me on that). Not to sound all hoity-toity but I majored in theatre in college and met a lot of people who were in acting because they liked the attention, not the art. This guy feels kind of like that to me. I don't know, man. Maybe we just don't jive as people. Is this me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
9s4z0x4F084UOFPiAcRO4O9RqEtG3KJu
|
b5bxce
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go the chruch/ccd",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to go the chruch/CCD
|
So my family is Catholic, and proudly so. They regularly go to church and signed me up to CCD (3 hour class for kids to learn about Jesus). When I was younger, I was also a Catholic, so I didn't mind going.
However, for the past few years I have been an atheist, and no longer believe in the Christian god. I brought this up to my mom, and the conversation went something like this.
Me- (Explaining I am an atheist and I don't want to go to church/CCD because I no longer share those believes)
Mom- Well why not? Your brother went through confirmation, and so did your dad and I. We are Catholics.
(Getting confirmed is a sacrament in the Catholic Church where you stand in front of a priest and say "I reject Satan, I believe in God, I believe Jesus rose from the dead, etc. This gives you the right to get married in a church. )
Me- Well, you are Catholics, but I am not. I don't believe in God anymore, and I don't want to practice those beleifs in church or CCD. You can go without me, I don't care, but i just don't want to go anymore.
Mom- Too bad, you're going to church and you're going to get confirmed. As long as you are under my house, you are a catholic, end of story.
I left it at that because clearly the conversation was going nowhere. I understand that parents have 'control' of their kids until they turn 18, but I think this is crossing boundaries.
AITA for not wanting to go to church or CCD with the family.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 25,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
iAaH2puZYUGWYRw7rKg9zHlaTZlCGYCV
|
axa22f
|
{
"description": "not calling my grandmother in over a year",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not calling my grandmother in over a year?
|
I really need answers here because I've questioned my decision since the day i decided to stop calling her.
I used to call my grandma all the time. She was one of my best friends and we loved each others company. We'd talk for an hour every few days. I used to confide everything in her. Last year in January, I found out that she had told the whole family about something I told her in confidence. Since I found out, I have not reached out with a single phone call.
I've felt pretty guilty about it. But then I realized, you know, phones work both ways and she has never once called me in that time. She used to call me every year on my birthday and this year, she didn't. I announced my pregnancy a few weeks ago, she knows about it and never called to congratulate me.
My aunt and uncles and my grandparents on the other side of the family and my own parents say I should just call her and stop holding a grudge. But at this point, I feel like it's just as much her fault as mine that we stopped talking since she never reached out to me?
AITA for not reaching out? Am I really just harboring a grudge that I should let go?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
gZf9onsp9mDrI9jdUhKtCK8bSqSYb6r1
|
a6zrjg
|
{
"description": "not being a good enough bridesmaid",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being a good enough bridesmaid?
|
I was bridesmaid for a school friend in October (one of four, her step-sister was her maid of honor). I’ve never been in a proper wedding before - friends have gotten married before but it’s always been very casual! - so I wasn’t totally sure what was expected of me in terms of ‘duties’. I like all the other bridesmaids and did lots of planning with them for the bachelorette, did a speech at the bachelorette that was nice and sentimental (I thought, although the bride was too drunk at the point to remember it), did the dress fitting and was enthusiastic about the choice, responded to all the whatsapps about the plans… was early for the rehearsal, stayed over night and did all the getting ready stuff in the morning, bought her a card, chatted with her family all night, sent flowers after the wedding. All the things I imagined you were meant to do, But she’s just given me feedback that she was disappointed by me at the wedding.
Three of my school friends (who I’d not seen for ages) were there and did get quite drunk. I hung out with them for some of the dancing but distanced myself when they started being really raucous and obnoxious. She told me I was ‘tainted by association’. Then she told me the other bridesmaids were always there when she need a wee or a drink and I wasn’t. And I definitely wasn't! I just didn't even think to be.
I realise looking back that I probably didn’t check in with her as much as she would have liked during the reception, or been as aware of the stress that she was feeling and or dealing with but I just thought I should take a back seat and let it be about her and her family and the groom? She shared all this with me at another friend’s christmas party after what was a normal friendly chat. She always wants to be honest and “tell it like it is” - if it was me I don’t think I would have said anything because what difference can I make now?
I’ve lived out of state for a while so I think she thought when I moved back that it would be right back to how it used to be when we left school, when we’d hang out all the time. And I want that, but we’re also were different now and lives are busy and it’s not that easy. I'm finding it exhausting to feel like I'm not living up to what I think are quite arbitrary friendship standards.
Am I the asshole? I have a tendency to get on my high horse about stuff like this so I definitely could be.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
PjOTOTEYQoQuG9YGipKzyuCnX5EcFi4K
|
awbff7
|
{
"description": "threatening to block a friend over bringing up my dad",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA [16F] for threatening to block a friend [15M] over bringing up my dad?
|
Me and this friend were talking when I mentioned eyeliner and how annoying it is to apply and wash off (normal makeup wipes don’t work u g h) when he suddenly says I can have my mum help apply it. I was about to reply that she sucks at makeup when he jokingly said «or dad :)» and my mood instantly dropped.
My father is the worst human I have ever had to deal with. He has given me anxiety attacks several times and hardly ever apologizes. On one occation an anxiety attack had me screaming at the top of my lungs for him to get out of my room and then it took days before I was back to normal. Can you guess why? He started shouting and berating at me because I refused to eat and clean a pizza he dropped in *my* room... Yah. Btw DON’T give advice on my dad, okay? Please.
So I instantly reply «my dad is a fucking asshole and I wish he was dead» (100% true) and I immideately apologize. I say «Sorry. I just hate him.» hoping to not make it too awkward while also obvious that I don’t wanna talk about him. He says «wow rude» and theeeen we go back and forth a lot. He continues to call me rude and I finally snap and say «I will fucking block you if you ever tell me I’m rude to my dad again. I’m fucking serious.» I even warned him beforehand and said «You have no idea what you’re delving yourself into.» (seriously talking about my dad to me is dangerous if you wanna stay on my good side)
So he finally stops calling me rude but says I hurt him by threatening to block him. I know I did. I really feel bad for that, but it’s 1 am and I was really really not in the mood to talk about him, especially when someone who doesn’t know anything about our relationship calls me rude for hating my father. I don’t know if I would’ve blocked him, it was more of a half threat to show how I can get pissed very easily if you talk about my father.
AITA? Or is he? Or is no one?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
yjX1496wiCEWwJzNtC84Ed7QwKVuIib2
|
ajhvd7
|
{
"description": "getting my at my girlfriend for not going to see a doctor",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITAH for getting my at my girlfriend for not going to see a doctor?
|
Let me start by saying, I am not a medical professional, nor do I really know how the American Hospital System works.
​
I am in a long-distant relationship with my girlfriend for a year now She's turning 2.. We talk usually 6-8 hours a day on video call, we visit monthly. She lives at home while we are saving for her to move.
For the last 2 weeks she has been sick to where she has felt she has needed to miss work. She missed 5 straight days last week after being the whole weekend prior, had Monday off or MLK Jr. day, worked Tuesday and Wednesday. During the week she missed work, she was encouraged by myself and her parents to make an appointment with her doctor or go to the hospital if it gets bad.
She went into a clinic on Friday where she was told she will need to get some tests done and to book an appointment at a facility where they can be done. On Monday, she said she went to her appointment but was told they wont do the tests and to wait and see if it gets worse. She was feeling semi-better on Tuesday and Wednesday and went to work for a 4 and 6 hour shift (snow days.
Today, she woke up at 3AM in pain, but still went to work at 9. By 11 she was on the floor, thowing up, unable to move. She said her stomach, sides, and back hurt to a point she could barely move. I told her she needs to go to the hospital if she feels like she needs to leave work. She said she would, then she sent me a message saying she went home to get the original papers from the appointment on Friday and she would go in. She also messaged me that her Dad was going to take her to the hospital when she got home.
Her mom told her to go see her family doctor instead of going to the hospital, which she did, which kind of annoyed, but okay, at least shes doing something. When I called her on my lunch, she said she was at home laying down because the nurse said her doctor wasn't available. the tests didn't need to be done right away, and she can make an appointment for tomorrow. I later found out it was the receptionist that said that, not the nurse. This bugged me too.
She then said shes in a lot of pain and cant move and it feels like shes getting worse. After finding out she hasn't seen a doctor today, I started to tell her she really should go into the hospital, because it sounds like it could be something serious. Her mom even thinks it could be her gall bladder. She said her parents don't think she should go to the hospital, I told her she needs to be an adult and take care of herself. Not wait for Mom and Dad to decide, I had frustration in her voice. She messaged her mom again and said I really think she should go in, to which her Mom called her and said "the hospital staff wont do anything for you until you see your Primary Doctor so they know what their dealing with, the only thing they will do is give you a shot for the pain" I said that doesnt make sense because what if its something serious like appendicitis, are you going to wait a day to see your PCD before going to the hospital which is something serious,
At this point, my voice has a lot of frustration in it and I could tell she was on the verge of crying. So I backed off and explained that I am just worried about her and it doesnt seem like she is taking it seriously when it could be something bigger. We've done that wait and see and obviously something is wrong if your having to miss work. and can now barely move. If thats how things work going to the hospital will at the least get her something for the pain, but if your not going to go to the hospital, go to another clinic, take care of yourself, find out whats wrong. I then had to go back to work at this point and already went over. IDK, I just feel like an ass for getting frustrated with her, but i also think she should take the initiative herself. So Am I an Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
VgIYMXciBFPUVxZdovw0nYC19OYN5B8X
|
avbo43
|
{
"description": "not asking my sister to be in wedding",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't ask my sister to be in wedding
|
Long time lurker, but throwaway because I know some of my family members/friends are redditors.
​
I (28) have been together with my boyfriend (28) for about 5+ years. Talking about our future plans, we had a discussion about our potential wedding. My boyfriend is ambivalent to having his brother/sister to be a part of the wedding party (bridesmaid, groomsmen, MOH, BM, etc.), mostly because his siblings don't really care too much about being a part of that stuff. The decision to have any siblings in the wedding party is pretty much riding on whether to include my sister. I know **traditionally**, the siblings and future siblings-in-law should be included in the wedding party.
​
But, if it was straightforward, I wouldn't be asking you all. So here's some backstory to this.
​
My sister and I were never really close. She's a few years older than me but has always been stirring up trouble. She is a recovering drug addict but has relapsed numerous times just in the past six months alone. She's been struggling with her addiction for more than a decade and (from the looks of it) does not plan to take her addiction seriously. She also has some mental health issues that she refuses to address. Although it seems cold at times, I keep her at an arm's length because of this. Addiction is a crippling disease and it has taken a toll not only on my sister, but the rest of my family as well. The one lesson I've learned these past ten years is that I cannot cure my sister.
​
I'm not ashamed of my sister. I'm actually deeply saddened that I don't feel close enough with her, like most siblings should. I want to support her as much as I can, but only if she wants to change. I'm planning on inviting her to the actual wedding, but I don't want her to be a part of my wedding party. Simply put, I just don't think she fits my perspective on what those roles should symbolically represent. But I also know that tradition dictates that she should be a part of the wedding.
​
So reddit, let's hear your verdit. WIBTA if I didn't ask my sister to be a part of the wedding party?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
YBTrrvRPkabgTMgQCzAUZRwzozLWz1rE
|
alkviw
|
{
"description": "blocking all attempts at \"conversation\" with a talkative guy while at work",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for blocking all attempts at "conversation" with a talkative guy while at work?
|
Work with this dude who goes on long monologues about himself and what he claims to know all the time. I have for the longest time tried to be civil and engage in some way but today I just had to block any attempts to have these one way conversations like asking how my weekend went only to talk over me and tell me how much he drank and all the "fun stuff" he did and was going to do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
CFUVeS4OuiUenzoZrEzdsuxF4oCfSgGD
|
aborft
|
{
"description": "not wanting to drive in shitty conditions for a new years eve party",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to drive in shitty conditions for a new years eve party?
|
A little bit of back story: I am a broke college student who decided to take a job dog watching over break to make some extra cash. The dates of the dog sitting happened to include that of new years eve. All my friends and I had previously discussed of having a get together in the town over where most of us attend college, about an hour away from where I was dog sitting. These dogs are on a strict schedule of up by 6am to feed, and if they are not fed around that time, they get "barky" and annoying, so I try to follow the schedule pretty closely. I was pretty disappointed because it didn't sound like I was going to make it. However, friend A, really wanted us to be there (Us being me and my girlfriend who were both dog sitting), offering to drive us down at 530, just after we put up the dogs for the night, and then back before 6am the next morning so we can feed them, recognizing that we have responsibility to these dogs. Of course we agree, if he's willing to do all the leg work of driving down and back, we would love to go, so the plan stands, as of the Sunday the 30th, that we will drive down and back all before the dogs need attention.
Wake up the morning of the 31st, low and behold, light dusting of snow and temperatures that aren't going to break the 10's, causing me to be wary. The weather continues on for most of the day, I decide to invite friend A over for lunch to discuss the plan, because I am cautious of going when the roads are going to be bad, weather advisories have already been called for some of the surrounding highways, and the temperatures are going to be deadly low. He comes over and I soon mention that I dont think it makes sense to go tonight, due to mainly the road conditions and our responsibility to the dogs. Mind you, the roads were indeed slick, I had just been to the grocery store and had experienced icy patches already. He immediately gets irate, saying that we always seem to have an excuse, demanding a rational for why we didn't want to go beyond just not feeling comfortable being in a car at these conditions. He kept saying that he got new snow tires and it would be fine, to which I responded saying Ice doesn't give a shit if you have new snow tires. He then followed up with saying "Your decision not to come really says something about where your priorities are at" and "This may be the last time we see all of our friends in one place" which most certainly isn't true (Everyone is in town till at the latest, the 12th). His arguments seemed to revolve heavily around guilt-tripping and a peer pressuring tactic, mentioning how everyone will be pissed with us if we bail. Our overarching reason for not wanting to go was not wanting to be on the roads when the conditions are shitty and our driver will be tired, however, we were the assholes for bailing on them because of our previous responsibilities. While we may of talked about throwing a party for new years eve, I was unaware of what the dog sitting would entail nor what the road conditions would be, yet he took it very personally, like we didn't want to hang out with him of the rest of our friends, when we tried to make it as clear as possible that it had everything to do with us being responsible for these dogs but more importantly not wanting to be on the unnecessarily. Does this make me the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
ovbPiqhXYwslLcCljyRJWXBb8TqbEl1p
|
az9cq7
|
{
"description": "refusing a girl I liked because of her past dating decisions",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for refusing a girl I liked because of her past dating decisions?
|
First off, this is not about not dating her (now way that would ever be YTA), but about my reasons for not dating her.
This is a bit older, but I still wonder what this sub thinks about it. There was a girl (calling her Lisa here) I had liked for a long time. Note: one of my best friends (Alex) is also good friends with her. But Lisa got a bf (and two more after that) and I thought that was it and startet forgetting getting close to her. As it turned out, she was only together with her first bf for three months, then dumped him for bf 2. Can't say anything about him though, never met him. Now, she dumped that guy AGAIN and started dating bf 3 two weeks later (coincidence? I think not). That guy was (and still is afaik) an unemployed wannabe thug with no basic education. He later cheated on her, she stayed with him, cheated again and then she left him.
I learned about this when I met her for a cup of coffee later, where she told me about how big of an asshole he was. I couldn't help but be abit amused, I mean come on, who would have thought that a guy whose main hobby it is to lurk around and smoke pot at the train station would be an asshole. Still, the conversation was actually quite good and so we met again a few days later for another coffee and in then asked me if I wanted to come home with her (a lot more suggestive than it appears here in text). I told her I don't and I'd rather keep this platonic. Lisa asked me why and told me that Alex had told her that I liked her. I thought it would be hurtful to tell her the truth, so I just said I don't feel like that anymore and then said goodbye and left.
IMO she has shown me enough proof that her dating choices aren't that good, and I don't feel like being the next guy that she dumps for guy X+1. At the same time I feel bad because apart from that she is a really nice person. Does my reasoning make me TA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
L2gndUaJP1XhWGMNhVoP79QQmgMEaHhZ
|
as5stf
|
{
"description": "telling my landlord that my neighbors are smoking weed",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I tell my landlord that my neighbors are smoking weed?
|
AITA if I tell my landlord that my neighbors are smoking weed?
My downstairs neighbors have been smoking weed out of their windows. Usually, I don't mind if other tenants smoke weed. Or even my roommates. It's just that this time, when they smoke it out of their windows, it goes straight into my apartment. My whole apartment has been smelling like weed lately. My roommate and I have both asked them to stop, or to find more concealable ways to smoke weed, but nothing yet. I know snitches get stitches but I really want to text our landlord and tell them what's going on. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8OXhJAUW8gA9jPa3c87wOuwdSpt2K7gI
|
9u4hxd
|
{
"description": "being to break up with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if i were to break up with my gf
|
22m my girl is 21.
Should i tell her i will leave her if she doesnt start putting more effort into the relationship? She barely returns text. We speak on the phone like once or twice a week. We rarely see each other. I told her already i feel like im the only one trying in the relationship sometimes.
She says she is going through some stuff right now. She has friends and family she hangs out with. She baby sits sometimes and does go to work. A lot of the time im hit with the, "sorry i was sleeping" or shes tired and wants to take a nap. I think shes going through a depression right now. I tried to be the understanding boyfriend and give her time and space. But the neglect is slowly overbearing.
We've talked before about this and she told me her side. She says that sometimes she feels pressured, so i try to lay off a little bit. She has anxiety and depression so i try to comfort her and say thinks that wouldnt make her feel anxoius. She says shes new to relationships and doesnt know how to handle it. So i try to give it time and let her adjust. Compliments and trying to be happy for us and all that good stuff is what im trying to do. But sometimes i feel like i need to blow up and let it all out about how i really feel. I dont want to hurt her feelings though. But im conflicted on what i should do. WIBTA if i told her i will end things if nothing changes?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
MRNKNT9WUO6Kn07tx9WOmrSbbGkPwp2F
|
b406ky
| null |
WIBTA Potential friendship ender
|
Throwaway for obvious reasons
​
As a backstory I was friends with this girl (we'll call her A) since high school but since the friendship has gone downhill and we rarely speak now but go to the same university. We had a one night stand roughly 3 years ago and mutually agreed to not mention it anymore and just move on from it, nothing else happened.
​
Fast forward to now, I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 months and A doesn't respect this relationship and continually tries to interfere with my relationship despite me constantly setting boundaries and asking A to stop trying to interfere. Which only made A try harder to end my relationship. **Would I be the asshole for ending this friendship because of A's inability to abide my boundaries?** Personally I don't mind loosing this friendship because it hasn't really been a friendship but I just wanted second opinions from people I don't know.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ueWUOIhSUGxpKTpVFmPQG3WXUcDkQMnn
|
azdbay
|
{
"description": "expecting my so to be compassionate and nurturing while being a jerk while sick",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for expecting my SO to be compassionate and nurturing while being a jerk while sick?
|
Admittedly, I'm rude and kind of a jerk while sick. I had a very bad migraine yesterday and had no manners dealing with her. She then refused to help me and got mad at me.
Those of you who suffer from migraines will understand that proper protocol ('please', 'thank you', 'you're welcome') lose all meaning when you're in a debilitated state.
Furthermore, shutting down all compassion and sympathy because I didn't follow proper protocol while in that state seems unreasonable to me.
Her side is clear. My mean demeanor hurt her feelings. She was very much looking forward to seeing me and didn't know I had a migraine. When she rushed to be at my side, turning on the light my room (a big migraine no-no) and approached loudly, I said something like "get away from me and turn off the light!".
I feel seeing me fully clothed under the blankets and in bad shape should've been enough for her to put 2 and 2 together. She stayed angry even after realizing I was in pain. Thought I should've been considerate and polite.
Let's say for argument's sake that I had a broken leg instead. I believe she would've instantly understood and tried to help me. Because migraines are invisible, it's perceived differently to others.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 21
}
|
WRONG
|
vT5JjvvWalNDVLw6cHmLRMaBx0LPDMpQ
|
akdys4
|
{
"description": "not wanting my MIL to shepherd people into my room",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: For not wanting my MIL to shepherd people into my room?
|
Hi, sorry about formatting; I’m on mobile.
So, my SO and I are living in my MIL’s basement while saving up to buy a house. I should note that we pay her rent to stay there.
I am a private person, and I value having a private space, but she doesn’t seem to respect that. She continuously has guests over, and gives them a tour of the house, including the basement. I understand her wanting to show the basement, as my SO built it for her and she wants to show off his work, but she does not show any respect for my privacy.
I will close the doors to my room and leave the lights off if I know she has people coming over. She ignores the closed doors and decides that whoever she has over (colleagues, friends, extended family) just needs to be shown my room, including inside my closet. I don’t mind her showing people the open areas of the basement or even the bathroom, I just want to keep my room as a private space.
I have tried talking to my SO about it but I get dismissed for being unreasonable. Am I the asshole for wanting her to keep her guests out of my bedroom?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
j8icn08Svoi5jR5sHjTFhhy4jJHxDEdn
|
awgvru
|
{
"description": "getting angry about this situation",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting angry about this situation?
|
My son and I been staying in my friend’s (A) spare room for a couple of weeks, truthfully he’s an ex but we’ve come to be friends now.
Today we babysat for another friend of his (B), who I used to be friends with but have fallen out with and don’t want to have anything to do with, but I have nothing against her kids so I didn’t mind.
This evening when it was time to take the kids home A wanted me to come, I thought he wanted me to drive because he’d had a drink and he’d asked me not to drink for this reason, but then when I went to get into the drivers seat he said he would drive. Now I wish I’d got out of car right then. Earlier he’d mentioned that I’d need to wait at B’s house with the kids because he needed to pick B up from the pub and we wouldn’t all fit in the car (I assumed he just didn’t want to drive with the kids in the car but was ok with just B).
So we got to B’s house, I got out with the kids, A said he wouldn’t be long and drove off. He ended up taking nearly an hour, it was pretty clear that he was having a drink at the pub with B. I sat on B’s porch getting more and more pissed off because I never agreed to that situation, I really wanted to leave but couldn’t leave B’s kids there alone.
When A and B got back, I told A that it was a really shitty thing to do just leaving me there without asking me if I could babysit. He said it was no big deal, he’d had one drink and had tried to call me but I didn’t have my phone with me (I didn’t think I’d need it I thought we were getting B and her kids home and coming straight back).
I told A I needed space and my son and I walked back to A’s house while he drove. When we got here he told me I was being ridiculous and a dickhead, said I’d only been there for 10 minutes. I said I was angry that he hadn’t asked me to babysit, so I hadn’t been able to agree to it, he’d just left me in a situation that I couldn’t leave. He said there was nothing to ask because it wasn’t planned, and that I’d been staying with him for two weeks so I shouldn’t complain that I’d had to stay at B’s house for 10 minutes. There was some yelling.
He could have taken the kids with him to the pub if all he was doing was picking her up and wasn’t planning to stay for a drink, so it seems to me like it was planned. When I asked him why he didn’t do that he said he didn’t think that me waiting with the kids was a big deal.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
e89NU6miMvtiJ6d3JmVeP2EAk8ZTH0bJ
|
apd20x
|
{
"description": "getting drunk and cheating on my husband after 6 years",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for getting drunk and cheating on my husband after 6 years?
|
Hi. So, me and my husband have been married for six years, two years after dating. I made a mistake last Friday, and I need some help,
"Greg" is a good guy. But, he can be a little frustrating, and that morning, he was complaining that he had work all day and that he wouldn't be able to unwind at home. I told him it's going to be fine, but he didn't reply. Maybe he didn't hear me, but he didn't even ask what I was saying. He kept going on, and then started complaining about our bank account.
Last Friday me and some friends went out for a drink, since one of them is getting married and we wanted to give her a night to remember. My husband was okay with me having some time for myself. After a couple of drinks a group of guys get close and begins to talk to us. One, let’s call him “James” sits next to me and he begins talking about his job, he’s the director Of a small company, and he talks with such ambition that it makes me more interested in what he's saying. The night goes on and I've been drinking quite a bit. I can't really remember much, but I remember hooking up with “James”.
The next morning my phone is ringing like crazy, I go check it and I have a couple loss calls from my husband. When I pick it up I just tell him I stay at my friends place and that my phone had run out of battery. He seems to understand, and asks me if I’m going home anytime soon, I say yes. Then “James” wakes up, and when I ask him about last night, he just said I insisted in not using protection... I rush back to my place, trying to leave this one night stand behind me, but I can't forget this guy.
Maybe I felt in love with him, the way he talks, and he being a young man that as control over his life. I remember feeling the same way about my husband before we married but now he has mostly giving up in life, constantly working and with no ambition. His dreams seems to have faded away, and now he spends most of the time working instead. When he arrives home he ignores me most of the time, and just spends his free time watching sports or playing video games like a child, with eating habits to match.
Also his sexual appetite seems to been though the floor, I tell him it’s okay if he can’t perform and that I don’t blame him, and I really don’t. I try to be supportive the most I can, but... sometimes that, gets to me.
Is there any way i can save my marriage?
TL;DR
Me and my husband have been married for 6 years but lately we have been having issues, cheated on him friday night while drunk and now I'm afraid i felt in love with my one night stand.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 25
}
|
WRONG
|
7VTzshlxmbA7ZnZVnvhNMCMLyWC6EStA
|
afa2x6
|
{
"description": "asking for my w\\d back after almost 2 years",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking for my W\D back after almost 2 years?
|
A little over 2 years ago, my SO and I bought a W\D. After about 3 months we ended up needing to move. We unfortunately moved into a place with no W\D hook ups. Only coin ops. Locked into a lease for 14 months, and with my aunt in desperate need of one to help save money, being recently divorced and in school, we said take ours! Just pay us when you can, whatever you can. Come about 2 years later, SO and I managed a very nice house rental with W\D hook ups. Being as my Aunt hasn't given us anything and has moved into a new apartment and doesn't use them, I figured I would ask for them back. Aunt angry with me, making me out to be the bad buy. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
x2uDs8fh9k9sriKyRTHqIIf5M2MOdOYo
|
aovo5q
|
{
"description": "wanting my bf to send me off at the airport for boot camp",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my bf to send me off at the airport for boot camp?
|
I’m going into the Air Force, i leave very soon. And I’m try to spend as much time with my bf as I can before I leave bc I know I’m gonna be lonely at boot camp and I’ll miss him (we’ve been together for nearly 3 years). We’re gonna spend Valentine’s Day together and the day before I leave he’ll spend the day with me, but I’d like him to see me at the air port when I leave.
The thing is he doesn’t want to. He may work that day which is one thing (I understand that so that’s fine if that’s the case) but if he does have that day off he says he still won’t go bc he doesn’t want to see my mom or sisters (he hates them). I’ve already told him my sisters won’t come and my mom is working that day so it’s highly unlikely she’ll be there. But he still says no.
Am I being too pushy and needy? I just want him to be the last person I see, honestly. And I feel like his hatred for my family matters more to him that seeing me off?
Tdlr; BF doesn’t want to see me off to boot camp bc he hates my mom and sisters
Update: BF initially said no bc he didn’t want to cry in front of me in public. Understandable. Also my family isn’t showing up anyway so he said if he can make it after work he will
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
RABN6pG1YhdQf1R2fld07esuiSeMat6y
|
adg59x
|
{
"description": "getting genuinely upset over this",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting genuinely upset over this?
|
My friend went to the Philippines for two weeks ( Dec 19- Jan 3 something like that) and I asked to get me souvenir or something and offered him many times cash so that way he would have the money while he was there but her refused the cash every time saying I could pay him when he got back. So he comes back I wait a day to let him re adjust to life back home, then I asked him to play Xbox and while we were paying he mentioned he got the souvenir but it was expensive and once he got home he liked it so he was going to keep it. Obviously I just said oh ok and just passed it off; but In my head I was kinda upset because I was prepared to pay the full ammount for it and it was the exact thing I asked him to buy for me and he only bought it with me in mind.
All in all it is his and never was mine but like C'mon.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
E6nwxcdWv6T352Nbt0JwoOWCFCyeQ1v2
|
a1npm2
|
{
"description": "being happy a hateful person has left an online community I'm a part of",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being happy a hateful person has left an online community I’m a part of?
|
Ok so I am very active in forum that has hundreds, maybe one or 2 thousand, active users. There was this would guy who was a homophobe (I’m a bi man) who was fairly active. He would post about how homosexuality is unnatural and it should be illegal, on a semi-regular basis (usually about once a week, for months) and the moderators didn’t really do much about it.
Cut to today where he decided to leave the forum, on account of people not accepting his ideas about changes to the forum’s system. He claims people were “misunderstanding his points” and so he left.
He made a post explaining why he was leaving, and on it I posted “Bye. I hope you never return”
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
D9Gc4VLWHDWO06i3R2GrLFZe52EPHTzd
|
aj3agn
|
{
"description": "not supporting a friend with a Manipulative Codependent Girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Supporting a Friend With a Manipulative Codependent Girlfriend?
|
A couple months ago a friend of mine came to me because he was uncomfortable with where he was in the relationship with his girlfriend of 9 months. She wanted to move in together because she was living with her father and didn't want to be there anymore. My friend has his own place. When she presented it to him, it was basically make or break time. Either they move in together or they break up. He wasn't ready for cohabitation so he agreed to end it.
She threw a temper tantrum, sobbing, bawling, and guilted him in to staying. He agreed to give it a little more time and see what happens.
A couple more weeks went by and nothing changed. He had the conversation once more to end it. Again she threw a tantrum, and he caved.
The following weekend he told her once again that he was done and that was it. She threw a tantrum, but he held strong.
So she calls him to pick up his stuff. I warned him he was walking into another guilt trip, and lo and behold, he does.
Finally, she shows up at his house with no warning to drop stuff off, complains that this whole thing has put her in therapy (after 9 months, are you kidding??), again guilt trips the hell out of him, and ends up seducing him on top of it.
This chick has no interest in him or what's best for them, it's completely about what she wants/needs. She can't be alone, so she does whatever she has to to keep him around.
In just a few months, my friend went from a confident, fun, secure, charming person to an insecure, second guessing, self doubting person. He's not the same person at all and it's heart breaking.
He came to me because he wasn't sure what to do about his relationship. When he told me about her and their relationship she sounded manipulative and controlling. He said he felt relieved when he finally broke it off with her, and so was I.
I was hoping to get him back to the awesome, confident, charming guy he once was. I figured he just needed some time.
But last night he told me she came over, they slept together, and he agreed to continue to talk to her. After 2 months of him trying to get away, he ended up going back.
So I told him I couldn't support him anymore. I can't sit back and watch him become who she's turning him in to. It's. Heartbreaking.
Here's why I feel like an asshole -
I feel like she's manipulative af and I feel like he needs someone to keep his head above water. He's completely a shell of who he once was. He was my best friend for a long time, which is why he came to me for advice, so I feel partially responsible for the situation.
At the same time, he's a grown man and can make his own decisions.
Reddit, AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
m4NigQVv9Bqj5uvuR8gCkJn4oUdrNenJ
|
b24ytz
|
{
"description": "not greeting a random guy I didn't recognise in the park",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not greeting a random guy I didn't recognise in the park?
|
So I don't know how to feel about this, because maybe this is common courtesy, but I was walking aline through the park, and just thunking about something, looking at the ground. I walk past a group of teenagers, I think 14-ish, but I didn't get a good look, all male. I am 16, male.
I suddenly hear what can be roughly translated to "hey, man", a way you greet people you know. So I looked up and didn't recognise anybody, and not looking for a conversation I just lowered my eyes again and kept on walking, without a response.
When I was walking away I hear one of them saying "jerk" or "asshole"... so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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