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{
"description": "telling the guy I'm dating I feel hurt he won't visit my hometown with me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling the guy I’m dating I feel hurt he won’t visit my hometown with me?
|
So context; we’ve been dating around four months, we’re exclusive and I do almost ALL the organising of dates. He’s always happy to see me, texts every day, but if I waited for him to proactively arrange a date I’d be waiting a long time. I think this is born from entrenched complacency rather than malice.
Anyway, I went to his last night after not seeing him for a week, I gave him a Valentine’s card and he hadn’t got me one. When I reminded him that we discussed this (cards or presents etc- settled on cards) he apologised but I was clearly upset. Anyway, fast forward a few hours of an actually pleasant evening (I managed to put my disappointment to one side) and I ask him if in a few weeks he would visit my hometown up north with me. I tell him he doesn’t have to meet my parents, I’ll just book a hotel for a night or two, and that it would mean the world to me. He asked “would you be offended if I said no?” To which I replied that not only would I be offended, I’d be hurt. He then made all his teeth kissing huffing passive aggressive noises and I asked what the problem was. He said he just didn’t want to go, he’d been before, it’s not appealing, he didn’t fancy it. When I attempted to tell him that I was very hurt by this because he wouldn’t even do it for me (and that I was only asking to have a night or two away, not for a bloody kidney) he said I should accept his decision, he had the right to say no, I shouldn’t feel hurt by that, why should he do something he doesn’t want to do, why am I guilt tripping him and telling him off. I reiterated that sometimes we do things that might not be our first choice of a fun thing to do because it would make the person we’re with happy and not hurt them, and that I would do the equivalent for him. He point blank refused. We just left it at that.
I’m terrified of being alone because I’ve been treated like such crap in the past but I just can’t get over how insensitive and selfish I feel he is being. I’m not going to bring it up again but I’m wondering, am I just being over the top? AITA?
Edit: we broke up. A lot of comments on here are right. I’m not actually into HIM I think, I’m just sick of being single and the whole dating scene. But I also know when to stop. His behaviour got a lot worse, I am getting help for some of my own attachment issues and generally I’m not going to be with someone unless we’re both actually HAPPY- not just riding some societal timeline.
Thanks for the responses.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
oY51MN70E8AHPwa4BCm0ruyZBPYjDLf8
|
an2tqw
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{
"description": "being annoyed that my friend made us miss our train",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my friend made us miss our train
|
Ok, 2 of my buddies from college came to visit/stay with me. They wanted to go into the city (i live in the suburbs), so get into the city from where i live, you have to take the train into the city and then transfer to the subway to get around within the city. No big deal, I was fine with that. So we went into the city, went to a fun bar, and had, in general, a very enjoyable night.
THEN, on the subway back to get our train, we decided that we would just catch whatever train heading back to my hometown that happened to be leaving next (that late at night they usually leave about once every hour). one of my friends, we'll call her Emily, mentioned to me that she kind of had to pee. I told her that's fine.
We get to the train station, we find out that there's a train we'd be able to make by about 5 minutes. As we're speed walking there, Emily is now freaking out about needing to pee. I ask if she can just pee on the train (the trains have bathrooms), a question which she does not answer, and instead just ditches me and my other friend to find a bathroom.
We miss the train by about a minute because me and my other friend didn't want to leave without Emily. Literally watched the train pull away as Emily walks over. Naturally, we were both kind of annoyed by the whole situation. It was late and we all just wanted to go home. My other friend and I started to call Emily out a little bit. "You could have peed on the train, why did you have to be annoying about this whole thing" etc. which she FREAKED OUT about, exacerbating the entire situation, and while both of them were arguing, she was to the point of tears, specifically because she thought we had no right to be annoyed with her.
Emily's defense she gave later was that a) had we arrived 5 minutes AFTER the train had already left the entire situation would not have even ensued because we didn't have a definitive train we wanted to catch until we got there, and that b) she was on a train once where the bathroom was locked, so she didn't want to "risk" getting on the train. I think the logic on both of these kind of fall in on themselves, but i guess I get it. Anyways. Am I (and my other friend) the asshole here for being pissed she made us miss our train?
​
TL;DR my friend made us miss our train back really late at night, got very mad at us for being annoyed about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
artugh
|
{
"description": "fighting over a cartoon",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA fighting over a cartoon
|
Back story keeping it short. S/O and I are 1000 miles apart due to where he is located for work right now. He traveled back in October last year and proposed to me. My daughters father gets hurt was in the hospital so I tried to help him around the house for the first week he was out(ex and I are great at coparenting and wish no Ill will towards one another ) and my S/O got jealous and instead of talking to me about it started a POF account, downloaded snap chat and connected with a chick over a cartoon called One Piece. (I’m in my thirties and he is almost there as well. ) I forgave, tried to forget and move on, we have kids and plans and the one sticking point the one thing I can’t get over and past (which he knows) is I want no sign or talk about One Piece. That is the part that still hurts. He won’t let go of this damn thing and I’m tired of having it pop up in my face. It just opens that wound again and It’s a reminder of the time he said hey remember when I missed our anniversary because I was 1000 miles away again and FaceTiming you confessing connecting with another chick over a cartoon called One Piece and that I didn’t want this other broad I want you even though I stepped out..... I can not get passed the damn cartoon part of it.... am I the Asshole for demanding he drop this cartoon?
I think I answered this for myself but someone else be blunt with me please.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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aim8fl
|
{
"description": "exposing an asian exec online and making him lose his job and family",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for exposing an asian exec online and making him lose his job and family?
|
A bit of backstory:
3 years ago I broke up with my ex that I loved truly and dearly. She worked as a hostess in an Asian only karaoke. This place was riddled with rich Asian dudes from Japan and Korea. Execs of companies like komatsu, Hyundai etc. This was your typical Asian place, where you can pay for a girl to sit, drink and chat with you. I was fine with her job, even though she was one of the very popular girls there. I trusted her, and she never gave me a reason to distrust her. She was "the one" and I was getting ready to possibly propose to her. Until one day, when she told me that this one guy kept on coming in and asking for her. At first, I was happy she finally got regulars, and she seemed happy about it to. But things started to go south. First — expensive gifts, which, ues, were hurting my self esteem, but I kept cool. Then guifts became more personal like Lingerie and stuff. I confronted her about it, and she said she's wierded out by it as well, but I'm the only one she's showing it off to. Then meetings outside work hours, which supposedly we're just "extra income". And then he called her on a week long trip to Korea... which she agreed to!
Now, no duh I was against it, because I was already starting to develop trust issues from all the intimate gifts , meetings and texting. I told her that if she goes — she can forget our relationship. She did.
Now I hated that Korean piece of shit. I'm not an idiot. I know what happens on trips like these. Waving around wads of money in front of a young girl that was raised pretty poor and dreaming of a better life. Of course that bitch agreed to go. I found him online, found his wife and sent her screenshots of his husband's suggestive texts.
Two days later he calls me and threatens me in broken English (99.9% sure he got my phone number and the fact that I speak English from my ex) telling me what a pice of garbage am for breaking his family.
A week later I get a text from my ex, saying "thank you for cancelling my trip. He got fired, are you happy?" (I'm pretty sure that was his wife's work, definitely not mine)
So, your just-asses, am I the asshole?
P.s. the worst part about all of it, is that I now consider myself a racist piece of shit, because of some shitty pavlovian defense reaction I now subcontiously hate Koreans.
Fuck you, former VP of ******* CIS LLC.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
d67WBqsyonXxAhnVqKh0JGaiubnmWVFO
|
afa5kb
|
{
"description": "dumping my boyfriend when I tried to be around them and be nice, but they were distant with me, as I may have been too clingy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for dumping my boyfriend when I tried to be around them and be nice, but they were distant with me, as I may have been too clingy?
|
I would always go up to sit with my boyfriend, and well, they would either ignore me, say I wasn't funny if I showed them a joke or insult me if I sat with my other friend.
This happened a few months in and I felt like an asshole.
Even now I sort of do so I need to know.
I just asked them how they were, we talked a bit, I'd say I'm here for them if they needed help, but I mightve been a bit clingy. I don't know.
AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
JPqBoYgiPqiaW0rgrxXU59FhIVFNhVoP
|
awlzpj
|
{
"description": "being mad at copycat sister",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at copycat sister
|
(throwaway account)
For a bit of backstory, my sister and I are roughly the same age and our whole lives we’ve been told that we look like twins. This really bothers me because I appreciate my individuality, and I want to be seen as more than somebodies look-a-like.
Lately, I’ve been trying new things like getting trying a new fashion style, getting piercings, etc. And every time I do one of these things, my sister goes and does it the next day.
What really made me mad was that three days ago, I really wanted to change up my look so I decided to dye my hair red. My sister then decides she wants to do the same thing the next day. I got really mad and I sort of yelled at her for always copying me and making me feel like a mannequin for whatever she wants to try next. She tells me that I should be flattered because it means she thinks I look nice. I told her I’m going to start telling people we’re not related. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
a8l4cf
|
{
"description": "being upset that my neighbor when into my car without my permission",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset that my neighbor when into my car without my permission?
|
So a few days ago my neighbor asked me to watch his dog, and I of course did (he's a great dog.) He thanked me and I told him I'd could do it whenever he needed.
Cut to yesterday morning. I was just getting in my car to go to work and I saw a letter with my name on it on the dashboard. I was confused, so I opened it and inside was a thank you note with a gift card from my neighbor.
(Before I go any further, I want to say that I'm extremely grateful for this note and card. I know he didn't have to do that and it does mean a lot that he did. I just don't want to appear like I'm an ungrateful dick.)
I go to work and forget about it. After I get home, I ask my parents if they put it there (I still live with them) and they said they didn't.
I told them how I didn't like the idea of my neighbor just going into my car and they basically said how I was being ungrateful and how im just over reacting. I told them that I'm thankful and how it was the principal of the situation and that he could have , and he has before, just put things in the mailbox.
I'm not super pissed or anything, just a little weirded out since I'm not very close to this neighbor.
Also before the 'lock your doors' comment comes up, I'll say that I have a decently old car without a key fob and sometimes I forget to lock the doors once I'm out. I live in a safe neighborhood so I'm really never too concerned.
Anyway, I'm I just over reacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
apz1la
|
{
"description": "taking my friends videogames/liquor and selling the games, when he owes me $1000 and is too stubborn to pay me back",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for taking my friends videogames/liquor and selling the games, when he owes me $1000 and is too stubborn to pay me back?
|
Some context here,
So my friend of about 10 years owes me $1000 that I lent him around 6 months ago so he could repair his car after he rear ended somebody. I have asked him about every week to start paying me back, and he always agrees he will yet never does. This infuriates me.
So one day while I was at his house, i asked him once again for the money. He replied with "maaaannnnn you always asking that". I got fed up, so i told him that i was going to take some of his videogames/booze collection and sell the games on Craigslist/online/whatever. So i literally walked into the other room and grabbed a stack of his old games (that he never even plays anymore) and went and took a few bottles of his liquor. He never tried to physically stop me, but instead called me an asshole.
Some notes for you all: He is NOT broke or struggling, he works full time at $28 an hour and splits rent with our other friend. He has enough money to go out for dinner often and party but seemingly not enough to pay me back? He also isn't an alcoholic and rarely drinks, but just collects all sorts of random things, a large volume of liquor included.
I kept the liquor for myself ($300 value) and sold the games for around $250 for the stack. Half of the value retrieved, he told me that he will pay the remaining $500 soon.
My friend is not *too* bothered by this, we have gone out since, but looking back, it seems I may of been an asshole.
So reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
adjuh6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a free cruise",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a free cruise?
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a free cruise?
My husband works in a stressful industry where perks are usually non-existent. He didn't mention it to me, but for about a year he was working towards winning this award which would give him + an adult guest a free cruise. He brought home the paperwork and was so happy to tell me that he won. I am very proud of him, but I had to ask him, in that entire year did you wonder how we would be able to make this happen?
We have two kids and nobody in our family that we can trust to watch them. Both sides of grandparents are elderly and not able to keep up with the kids. He has a brother that smokes pot and lays around the house all day and neither one of us want the kids around that. Those are the only options for family to watch them.
I have one close friend that we would trust, so I tentatively asked her what she thought. She said sure no problem, but then a couple weeks afterwards let me know that my kids would be alone, all day, from 7am-6pm in their house, and was asking me if I am okay with that? I am not okay with that. To have to fend for themselves in an unfamiliar house, and basically be housebound because they live too far out to walk anywhere, just doesn't sit well with me.
I thought about hiring a nanny, but the cost would be extremely high. We even thought about just purchasing cruise tickets for the kids and bringing them along, but then the "free" cruise gets to be pretty expensive.
To add to all of this, I never once in my life wanted to go on a cruise, and I get extremely seasick. To leave my kids behind to be sick and miserable for a week is not appealing at all. I'd be fine with my husband going with a buddy or his brother or anyone really. I'd miss him but I'd be happy that he was having fun. He, however, is hell bent on getting me to come along. AITA for wanting to dig my heels in and say I just don't want to go?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
jImtkUO3B4t1BzCcZhDLHa3Qjx8se7fy
|
afm9tb
|
{
"description": "avoiding a girl (who I have never spoken to) that wanted to ask me out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for avoiding a girl (who I have never spoken to) that wanted to ask me out?
|
Ok, this might sound cruel but hear me out. A few years back at school I overheard that a girl that I've never spoken to or even been in the same class as in our five whole years of high school together wanted to ask me out. I had less than zero interest in this girl and thought that a 'missed opportunity' would be better than rejection for her. At least that's what I'd prefer if I were in her situation.
I know she is an extremely emotional girl because even though we've never been in the same class I've seen her cry almost ten times and she had also taken a couple weeks off of school when she broke up with her, then, boyfriend. The first time I had heard that she was interested in me was at the end of school dinner and then suddenly I noticed that she kept staring at me from across the room. I didn't want to reject someone after I'd had such a good night so I left the nanosecond the principal said we could. After that night I didn't know what to do. I'd never been in this situation before and thought that maybe she would be less hurt if she never got the chance to ask me out rather than me rejecting her in front of her friends.
As we were never in the same class and I played football/soccer during our school breaks it was easy to avoid her for the final two weeks of school but on our final day we had a 'fun' day where we would relax by the pool and the school would hire bouncy castles and crap (we're 17 year olds btw but that doesn't matter). Basically, every year 12 has to hang out in a small area. This is when I felt the worst because I could see her looking for me and wherever she was I wasn't. I was doing everything I could to not have to reject her. After a few hours I decided to hang out by myself by the pool just to chill and then she and her friends spotted me. I see her and her mate walking towards me in my periphery. I deliberately made sure I didn't make eye contact so maybe she would think that I genuinely didn't see her, I stood up and made way for the football pitch. I think I got away with it not being obvious as they were still roughly 20 metres or so away and that was it. School was over and I've never seen her again.
Am I an asshole for doing this? I honestly thought that rejection would've been worse, especially for her but I'm not by any means an expert.
How would you have dealt with it or how would you have felt as the girl? Would you prefer rejection or a missed chance?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
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|
a1m5qx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to a birthday party with my family",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to a birthday party with my family?
|
So I honestly don't know if I'm being an asshole but my dad made me feel like one.
My moms friends sons birthday is this weekend. Our family is invited. I'm 15 and so is the son, however we never were friends even though we've seen each other a lot due to our moms being friends.
We've been going to these parties since as far as I can remember and when we were smaller it was fine since we would just run around doing little kid stuff. But now we dont really do anything at these parties and it usually takes the whole day. There also is mostly people I dont know so it just makes it extra awkward.
This year I told my mom I didnt want to go since it would just be a waste of time for me. My mom would love to go and see her friend and talk with her and I told her she could do that without me but she insisted that I went. However I stood my ground and later my dad told me I didnt have a choice. He told me I should do it for my mom but I dont think thats fair since I've been going for years there now. He made me feel a bit of an asshole so here I am. To find out if I really am.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
b2frm5
|
{
"description": "not sticking to 1 plan when hanging out with friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not sticking to 1 plan when hanging out with friends?
|
Disclaimer: I have no idea how to title this as it's still quite puzzling in my head.
​
So, I'm in this group of 3 where we are ex-schoolmates who love to bowl (professionally). Let's call my other 2 friends 'AL' and 'RY'. Last night, AL said in our groupchat that he wanted to bowl with us today. I agreed since I wanted to bowl as well. However, RY asid that he couldn't come as he was moving houses (I have no idea if it's true or not but we let it slide). As the conversation continued, I assumed that the plan would not go through. At that time, I still wanted to bowl. So, I asked my cousin (who's not a bowling enthusiast at all) if he wanted to join me since I would have went alone anyways. He agreed and I called the alley to book a lane for 12noon.
​
Fast forward to today 9am. I woke up to a massage from AL where he said that the plan would continue just without RY. At first I thought "shit, now I have plans with 2 different people at almost the same time." But then since the first meeting was at 1030am with AL, I thought that I could finish up with him before playing with my cousin. However, when AL and I reached the alley at 1030am, the place was full and I had to wait until 1130am at the earliest before being able to play. So while waiting, I discussed the issue with AL and he was completely fine with bowling with my cousin. So, we just continued on. Unfortunately, I completely forgot to ask my cousin if he was ok with this arrangement.
​
So AL and I got a lane and started playing whilst waiting for my cousin. Before I even left my house, I was contemplating whether or not if I should reschedule my plans with my cousin since his schedule was much more laxed compared to AL. But my final judgement was "screw it, lets just bowl together". When my cousin arrived at the alley however, he did not expect me to already be bowling with someone he didn't klnow at all. So he just turned around and just went back home. While he was walking away I called him to ask as I was puzzled myself. It went something like this:
​
Me: Hey, why did you leave?
Cousin: You could have told me if you were busy
M: Can't we just bowl together?
C: Fk it, I'm going home. My firends are going out later today. I'll just ask if I can join them.
M: ...
M: ok
\*End Call\*
​
Afterwards, AL and I just stared at each other like " WTF was going on?" About 5 minutes later, my cousin called me back asking if I wanted to reschedule. And so we did for tomorrow. So now I have no idea if I'm completely at fault, he's just overreactinng or if it was mistakes from both sides.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
{
"description": "wanting to kiss my girlfriend after eating her out",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting to kiss my girlfriend after eating her out?
|
This has been conflicting me for awhile, and I am here to accept my judgement. We both mutually please each other sexually, and I am totally cool with kissing her after fellatio. She's putting her mouth down there too, so if I'm not willing to to the same I shouldn't expect her to. We are quite active, so me eating her out is a near daily occurrence, but I have a bit of a mouth fetish and kissing is very sexually important for me. She hates even touching herself, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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RIGHT
|
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|
b69g20
|
{
"description": "getting my neighbour ticketed for parking in front of my house",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA if I get my neighbour ticketed for parking in front of my house?
|
To preface, I don't use street parking at all.
I'll cut to the chase. I don't like it mainly because it's a beaten down lifted (really high) truck. Had he parked a SUV, normal truck, mini van, or sedan, I wouldn't have cared at all. One of my other neighbour park their Hyundai SUV there too, and I don't care at all.
A couple of things really ticks me off. His drive way is empty during the day but he doesn't want to move his truck onto his own drive way. At night, he parks this truck horizontally across the sideway in-front of his house because there is no street parking between 2AM and 7 (or 8) AM. (he has two other cars parked on his drive way) I hear him moving the truck around 12-1AM every night. It's loud. (Not a concern of mine) The height of the lifted truck also obstruct the view of the front of the house as well as the street which can cause slight difficulty reversing my car in the morning.
There are two violations from the city bylaws that I've found.
1. in front of or within 1.5 metres of the entrance to a driveway or so as to
prevent ingress to or egress from such driveway;
2. for a longer period of time than 3 consecutive hours;
The reason I'm posting is because both violations doesn't effect me. If they did, I would'nt've hesitated about calling the bylaw officers. His truck being inches away from my drive way exit doesn't really affect me too much. I can deal with this. I did a rough measuring and it's about 12 inches away from my drive way. I'm capable of reversing out of my drive way without any trouble. Also I don't care if he park how many hours. It's just THAT truck.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
T6ySDLYyKTV4lA9RhqBm1PhTuY77cqQS
|
b174ap
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{
"description": "hanging up on my mom",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hanging up on my mom?
|
Okay so there is a lot more background to this but I just want to know if I'm in the wrong here.
To begin with my family is extremely conservative and pretty religious so I have been raised the same way as well and right now its nearing college time. (Quick note we are in Canada) My parents are willing to pay for my full tuition and I am more than grateful for that, but when I was registering for universities my mom was upset because she has her heart set on me going to a specific university in the United States, this uni is super conservative and aligns with most of my personal values, it will be hard though because I am not religious and hide that from my family. For example I drink and smoke and am bisexual, these are huge no-nos at this uni in the USA. So for a lot of reasons (even including cost) I am thinking of going to a campus here in Canada close to home. Now on to the actual AITA today I called my mom as one of the colleges here requires a 500 dollar deposit which I agree is kinda bs because If I do decide to go to another college they keep the 500 dollars, after telling her this she said on the phone "Well I guess we won't pay the 500 dollars then" which to then I said "Well then I guess I'm not going to that college then" at this she began to get upset and practically yelled at me asking "You really want to go to that college x3" At this I just said I don't feel like talking to you right now and hung up. I called my dad because he is supportive of wherever I go. When I got home from school I just got some angry looks hardly any talking from my mom and it's clear that she is very mad at me. I understand she wants what's best for me but she needs to see my side too? Maybe it's just school and I need my spring break to come faster...
I just don't know anymore AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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mbztnalVy3QOIo9zbkX0HKqBWEml1lLZ
|
aq25ms
|
{
"description": "failing one of my students (twice) despite their best efforts",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for failing one of my students (twice) despite their best efforts?
|
Apologies for the long post. TL;DR at the bottom.
Even though this happened over five years ago, the decision has stuck with me clear as day. It bothers me almost as much now when it comes to mind as when it took place. I wanted to put it here before the court of popular opinion to see how others view my actions.
Some context, I’d been teaching mathematics as primary instructor at the college level for two and a half years. Mostly Calc II and III with some higher stuff mixed in.
At the time, I’d gotten my Masters in the field and was working toward my PhD. Despite considerable personal constraints on my time, I was passionate about teaching and took it very seriously. I commonly made time for impromptu office hours to suit my students’ schedules and held extracurricular review sessions before each exam, including the final.
My classes weren’t easy by any account, but I laid outa clear path to success. I look back at my career as an educator fondly and my reviews invariably warmed my heart; the majority of my students acknowledged my efforts and relayed that I was tough but fair. My general philosophy was that I would match any student’s sincere efforts in kind. The end result was that there was rarely a student that came to both office hours and reviews with little to show for it.
Enter the subject of this post, let’s call them E for effort. I was teaching Calc III in the Fall semester and encountered E earlier in the year when I had taught Calc II the previous Spring and had the unhappy experience of failing them. They must have taken a Summer offering of the course in order to stay on track with their program and then signed up for my next class.
This time around, E knew how I rolled and made a great effort. There was seldom a week I did not find E in my office at least once and they made all the exam review sessions. E admitted mine was the only time offered for the course that fit their tight schedule (I think I would have been avoided otherwise) and that they needed to pass to graduate on plan. E wasn’t doing stellar going into the final, but had at least a passing grade up to that point.
Now, one of the great benefits of teaching math is that a correct answer is unambiguously distinguishable from a wrong one. I happened to grant partial credit in several cases, but the form this took was generally predictable and my rubrics were established before I ever saw an exam. Moreover, I graded all exams by one problem at a time rather than a full exam at a time, so bias in grading was not really a thing.
I say this all to make it clear that when I was done grading the last problem on the last exam, tallying my students’ scores was a complete surprise to me. So when I came to E’s test, I was well and truly nervous on their behalf. As I went over it page by page, my heart sank. They had failed the final.
The test was not so tremendous a failure as some other students, but it was bad enough to push E’s grade below passing. As I completed filling in my gradebook for the year, I saw that E sat fourth among students below the invisible passing line in terms of accumulated points for the course. (For reference, this is really close as I was teaching a total of 80 students that semester among the different class times for the course.)
This is where the bargaining began in my head. E had tried as hard as I think possible for them and they were failing at subject matter that was really unlikely to be relevant in their field. I could fudge the grade line and modify my rubric so no one could claim otherwise.
In the end, though, I submitted the grades as they were. I weighed out the chances that other more silent students in those situations were never given similar consideration and settled that the line had to be drawn clinically for fairness. My role was to assess their passage or failure of the material as a whole, not whether it would affect them.
But then again, we’re not robots and I wondered if some bias isn’t really inherently wrong if I consider how easily I might have weighed my rubrics a little differently throughout the semester to have pushed E unknowingly over that threshold. The closeness of the margin was really annoying and I gave pushing E and the three other students’ grades up some serious thought.
Now I know graduating a semester later isn’t the greatest tragedy in the world, but the struggle kind of stuck with me anyway. So I leave it to you all, am I the asshole?
TL;DR - Student I failed in a previous class needs to pass a new one to graduate on time. They make a very sincere effort all semester but still don’t scrape a passing grade by a narrow margin. I thought it was unlikely that the material they messed up on would affect them in any professional capacity and considered changing my cutoff. Still failed them (again) in accordance with my original rubric, singlehandedly delaying their graduation.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
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b9zrq6
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{
"description": "mistyping a message that made my friend waste time",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for mistyping a message that made my friend waste time.
|
Recently, It was a bit rainy and our coach texted our group chat that our track practice was canceled. I texted my friend who’s in track, Mark, “We have practice.” I forgot the dont. I also texted our mutual friend who’s in his 6th period to tell him “we have practice” again on accident.
He texted me about 30 minutes later calling me an asshole, for making him wait in the rain waiting for practice. It was a mistake and I told him so, but he ended our text conversation with “I’m still mad, I could’ve been studying for my big test that’s tommorow”.
From his side of the story, he said he was planning on checking the group chat, but jimmy had told him we had practice(like I asked him to), so he went to practice and told our other track friend we had practice. Apparently they were both waiting for awhile, and he said he was freezing. I
I was just trying to help, I even said sorry after multiple times, but he is still mad at me. AITA
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
ZsALtkKz1c4dYdXWoCazjv7Xc56eBZLN
|
b4qovz
|
{
"description": "using his computer",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for using his computer?
|
I’m visiting my bf this weekend. His computer is in the living room. He was in the kitchen cooking. His computer was on with a website that had the recipe for what he cooking open. I hopped on his computer to google what movies are playing. He came out from the kitchen and got mad that I was on his computer account. He said he specifically made a guest account for other people to use and not to use his computer on his computer when it’s logged on to his account. I really didn’t think it would be a big deal just to google theater showings and I had no idea that others had to use a guest account.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
23GpUlzmY1mpkk4dsace7Xvs8VoOUuBP
|
b86sgo
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay more than my share",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay more than my share?
|
So first for a little background. My roommate[21m] and I[20m] are currently renting out a 3 bedroom apartment in our college town until the end of May. During this time and prior, as we have been roommates for a few years now, we would go halves on certain items that we both wanted and would use. When time came to part ways for breaks and such we would decide who gets the item and weather or not the other person wanted to be bought out of their share giving full ownership to the other party. This also the case if said item were to break under the possession of one of us and it has worked until this morning.
Last night i decided to bring one of our shared items to our friends house and it unfortunately broke. I knew i'd be responsible for paying back my roommate for his half and i'd accepted that fully.
Heres the problem:
When i told him this he became visibly upset (understandable) but tried talking to me in a calm manor. According to him since i didnt inform him that i was taking the item to our friends house and then broken it i am even more responsible for it breaking. He is demanding i pay him back his half for the item ($25 ) in addition to more money to compensate him for his loss (unspecified, probably more than $10). If i refuse to pay him back extra hes going to refuse to pay me back for other items we are currently sharing and keep said items. I told him I refuse to pay him more money than he invested as he is walking away having lost nothing and i would be down $50 and the item, worse off than i would be if i bought him out normally.
So i need to know reddit, AITA for refusing to pay him more than his initial investment??
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
lHVJbwK8rEOTULhGPfWYP09rVYvH1MlG
|
axe91c
|
{
"description": "not tipping after my haircut",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not tipping after my haircut?
|
Before I begin I should lay some groundwork for my story. A local high school sells some fundraising cards that offer coupons to a lot of local businesses. I bought one and frequently use said card at a local haircut chain that offers $3 off each haircut.
The closest haircut chain place to me closed about 8 months ago. The fundraiser card only works in two cities, and the store that closed was the only one of its type in that city. The other city is at least a 20 minute drive for me. Meanwhile there’s another place right on the border of my city/other city but technically not either of the cities listed on the card. They offered me some good other coupons for switching over to their store post-my store closing, but after those ran dry, I’ve been asking if they’d honor my coupon card which they've said yes to 3 times.
So I’ve been going to this place, getting my usual haircut, which is basically a buzz cut. Everyone always comments on how super easy it is. I don’t know if that’s hairstylists commenting on how they enjoy easy ones sometimes or if they genuinely believe it’s a haircut that isn’t worth their time.
During my haircut my hairstylist (whom I've had before) gets an insane amount of hair off per swipe and pushes it off my head down the front of my face. Not just once or twice, but a few times in a row. My eyes and nose are caked with hair and I’m having a hard time not starting to tear up cause it’s irritating my eyes. I didn't say anything, since I'm an introvert by nature and secondly, you don’t really want to piss off a person with a razor.
Hairstylist says nothing either, uses her fingers to wipe off most of the hair on my face a few minutes later. We finish up after less than 10 minutes and I go to pay with this fundraiser card coupon. It takes bringing over the manager to get the coupon added. I never made a big fuss about it, just explained how I went to the old store, it closed, and would like to use it if I still can.
After it’s all settled, there’s a screen on the card reader that asks for a tip. You have to manually press a button to type in the amount and each time it makes a noise. It's obvious if you tip or not cause the hairstylist can hear an amount being entered in.
My hairstylist says “here’s the tip screen! Remember that?” I unenthusiastically say “yup” and just hit continue so I can swipe my card. Out of the corner of my eye I notice her face pales a bit, but she hands me my receipt, thanks me, and I go on my way.
I really feel awful about when people skimp out on tips as a society. I’ve never worked a tip job so I don’t know how much it actually is necessary as far as their wages go. Am I the asshole for not tipping after my poor experience, even after what they did for me with the coupons?
TL;DR: my old haircut store closed, got good coupons with them, had to move to a new store within the same chain, got a subpar haircut, asked if they could honor the coupon, then didn’t tip based on the haircut I received.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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vP77LARpjVARlrAOQ6vF3n2FGUb5e8Ng
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axq822
|
{
"description": "going to a dealership to test drive with no intention of buying",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I went to a dealership to test drive with no intention of buying?
|
Last week I went to my local Ford dealership to get a part for my mustang, and immediately as I walk in I’m greeted by a salesman and he asks if I would be interested in trading my car in. I told him I’ve though about it a couple times for in the future but haven’t really considered it. He then offers me to come back another day to test drive some newer mustangs.
I am in no way financially set to afford a newer mustang and I don’t want to go in there and waste his time because I know I won’t buy.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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gjQGe7uA7c85VJLc3YE6MPXtKV6hsNjP
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as2vzf
| null |
AITA my parents are incredibly set on me doing the cleaning of the house but i proposed otherwise
|
Weird title I know but bear with me for a sec.
Some info on the situation: I'm 20 now, still live with parents but I pay half of the expenses that are mine and have no problem with that. The problem comes up when my parents still try to force me to do all the cleaning, I was forced as a teen to do this because I wasn't working a 9 to 5 job but now that I do and pay for my share of the apartment I proposed that we split the task.
Not a good idea apparently since they looked at me like I fucking killed out cat which lead to them cussing me out saying that I don't appreciate what they do for me despite me pointing out that I pay half of the expenses sometimes even the full amount when they can't cover it and constantly do the shopping and cooking
Tl;DR parents want me to still clean the house as my responsibility despite me working 9 to 5 like them and paying half of the living expenses
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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fWAbi7X8z0FfKOGyo4Lb9WTFF7TMuh5z
|
aaqgyp
|
{
"description": "getting angry at this girl",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For getting angry at this girl?
|
So, I just want to state that I have some aged issues, but please send me some actual reasons if I’m an asshole or not.
So this girl, right, I like her and well she doesn’t “yeah ok, fair enough” but I decided, hey just don’t talk to her for a week. I Wanted to see if she cared about our friendship, I had been building it up, and because she ignored me often, and I thought to myself, “hey I just need some time to get over it” of course, I felt kind of bad for just not talking to her, (she’s got some issues with family but has a lot of friends including me supporting her) But, y’know if she talked to me first or needed something I would’ve responded.
Then, the girl which I’ll call Alice, responds with “it’s fine” , I wanted to make sure she really was just okay with it all, so I said “You’re just fine with it?” She responds with “I’m used to being ignored.” I said a half truth, saying that “I thought you just didn’t want to talk to me, so I didn’t.” (This is true by the way, just not the whole reason) and “if you wanted to talk to me you could’ve just started it.”
“Also, you always wanna seem to talk to someone else, like you always say where’s such and such, or Where’s this guy” (I’d say that’s kind of an asshole thing) She says, “Why should I talk if no one is there for me?” This is what got me pretty angry, as these two people in particular always try to help her, and I know as I’m close friends with these two. and her definition of being there is “helping me with all my problems.” She then says, “I’M A BURDEN TO ALL OF THEM, they probably became friends with me because of pity” (now she’s assuming things)
Then she says “Okay, to use me then!” This kind of makes me angry. I was saying how a bunch of people weren’t using her and what not (I handled it badly, IMO) but she seems to think everyone wants to use her. Then after I say, “Look, Alice not everyone is gonna use you!” She responds with “lmao who” this gets me mad, and this is where I question “Am I a asshole?” I say, “You don’t want help you just want pity, saying how she undermines the help people give to others and to her, Then I end it with “You’re so stubborn that what I’m saying won’t phase you!”
And well, after I didn’t talk to her at all.
|
HISTORICAL
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orZbf3oEY24i78BkGljOK7edG954OraI
|
asxe50
|
{
"description": "refusing to buy a keg for a fraternity because I slept with a certain girl",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for refusing to buy a keg for a fraternity because I slept with a certain girl?
|
Pardon the length of this post, but it requires a bit of context...
I’m at a university with fraternities that have recently been forced to allow females to reside within their frat houses. I’m friends with a lot of the fraternity brothers at a certain house, but not actually a member, although they keep asking me to pledge. Anyway, just before mid-winter break (the week before President’s Day), I met one of the three ladies that actually live in the frat house. We hit it off instantly and spent the rest of the week together, getting to know each other and having absolutely ridiculous mind blowing (protected) sex. She’s smart, funny, interesting, and likes the same nerdy shit that I’m into, and I was really thinking of asking her to go with me exclusively. Shit - she even said “I think I love you” post coitus, and it made my head swim like I’d never felt before...
Fast forward to this last Monday, when I passed a brother in the common room who casually says “Hey bud, you owe us a keg!” - I laugh and say “Yeah man I’ll throw in on the next one, no problem.” And he replies “No, no - you already threw it in (this girl) - now you have to buy us a keg- house rules!”. After a brief moment I realized the implication of what he was saying but only managed a meek muttering of “yeah sure”, and left immediately.
After a few targeted conversations I come to find that my new lady friend gets around - a lot... like 20 dudes is my current count, and she’s only a sophomore (I’m a freshman, btw). I’m no saint myself - but, 20 dicks... Twenty dicks - that’s a lot of dicks, right? And there’s certainly more that I haven’t discovered yet.
Anyhow the next day I’m back at the frat to visit the girl, and I see the same brother coming at me. He jokingly asks “So where’s our keg, bud?!” And I reply with a curt “Fuck off!” And left the house without seeing anyone else. Turns out I’m now “blackballed” from the fraternity house, and not allowed in or even on their lawn. My “friends” in the frat say the guy’s an asshole, but he’s a senior asshole, and apparently if I just fold and buy the keg, I’m back in his good graces. They all think I’m being a hardass and should just buy the keg and be done with it...
So, AITA for refusing to buy this damn keg?
Bonus question - WIBTA if I actually tried to date my new lady friend? I feel like I’d be a g-damn laughingstock and people would look at me/us with distain... But damn though... 20 dicks?
20 + X = too many dicks, right? Or AITA for thinking that? Please help Reddit, you’re my only hope.
P.S. I haven’t spoken to her face to face since Monday and really don’t know how to address it at all.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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iqAw8f50KgI7eXYjfMkv2sqOlHiE6Zo3
|
a8d8sv
|
{
"description": "wanting to remove someone completely from the situation due to their past actions",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For wanting to remove someone completely from the situation due to their past actions.
|
So I met this group of gaming friends a few years back through a game called Arma and the same core of people have stayed together but originally the group was larger. This someone I recently got very angry at and wanted to remove from all of our online community communication methods, from my point of view, caused a lot of the problems that caused the original group to break up, we shall call him Mr. Z for this period of time.
Background:
Mr. Z has always been free thinking and didn't follow community rules that well. He would always cause trouble for those writing papers to better organise ourselves when the paper would infringe on his right to act less serious than some of us, including me, would have liked. Mr. Z would also commonly side with people who cause chaos because these people oppose the set rules or common courtesy's set in place.
One major thing that Mr. Z supported was this character we shall name Mr. K. Mr. K would always assume the role to destroy the heaviest enemy targets immediately as they popped up and would cause who ever was running the session that night to up the difficulty. Afterwards there would be large dissent because that session was more 'difficult' than normal. Mr. K after these sessions would also brag about how he destroyed the heaviest enemy targets that might have other wised presented a suitable challenge for everyone else. Back to Mr. Z, he would also support Mr. K and in the end Mr. K Would be removed because of his lack of compliance to follow rules and regulations. Mr. Z did notboike this and would for the next several sessions bring everyone else's session quality down by being even more obnoxious.
Another major thing Mr. Z did was when ever we would play a game he disagreed with or in the game Arma 3 play as a faction other people would like but he didn't, Mr. Z would take the obnoxiousness and stupid act and turn it up a notch. We play as Guerilla fighters to try something different? He acts like a literal terrorist and actively is a detriment to the other participants. Not fighting the enemy he would like? Mr. Z would dress very similarly to the enemy. Mr. Z doesen't get the mission type he likes? He complains so that everyone would hear.
The last thing he really did that really angered me, This all was a few years ago by the way, was that when we would all try and settle our differences sit down and talk about how people feel about each other deep down. He blatantly said to everyone he had no problems and believes this activity was stupid and left. I was fine with that because I didn't find out later he was talking with someone through a private chat window about how he has all of these problems with everyone.
Time now:
The big group fell apart a few months after. Fast forward a few years a lot of us are older have jobs and some out of High School so we believe we've matured enough to get together and form a new group. The same core of people including Mr Z and I stuck around and when we did our first session I wasn't surprised but I wasn't happy that he didn't mature one bit. I went on a very pessimistic tirade of how we should get rid of the peoblem, Mr. Z, and remove him permanently because of how he caused so many problems and continued to cause problems until now. I called him a number of things like a parasite, worthless member of the online community and a ton of racial slurs.
I come here asking if I went overboard in wanting him removed completely and if my harsh comments fell into the 'asshole' level.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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tWP7CPmb11X8VeRcjyIpEbA8O1lmFG3n
|
b17y65
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{
"description": "making my friend stop talking to me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for making my friend stop talking to me
|
so, i was living my life playing D&D, then my Sub-DM (he helps me with the campaign) was called a bitch cause he didnt know how to play, i said: "hey, i didnt teach it to him yet, so youre calling me a bitch" then the dude stopped talking and my SDM (sub-DM) said he was the bitch for calling him a bitch.
Then he left the server as a joke and SDM was like "oh shit i fucked up" and left, then the dude came back and i told the SDM that it was a joke and then he just said: "i wont ever talk to you again" and then i explained it was all my fault and that i was sorry.
He still didnt talk to me, then i said "ok i wont give you anything i promised you and i wont ever give anything or help you with anything again.
​
am i the asshole? also, can someone help me regain my friend please
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
LMAlyQKfcJzlHwpzSvicSHKqMtE8Nui3
|
akivz3
|
{
"description": "telling my friend he shouldn't cancel plans",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend he shouldn't cancel plans?
|
Me and my two best friends(one of which is my girlfriend now since just very recently) were planning to hang out this Tuesday. I'll can my gf A and my other friend B. We usually just go out for lunch and catch up, we all have busy schedules especially recently and don't get to see each other as often. Not that what we were doing to do is very relevant. Anyways, all was well until he texted out group chat asking where were going. We talked a bit more and then B said something along the lines of 'how about you to just hang out, you need to bond'. I was confused and said I still wanted to hang out with my friend too which he just replied "no she's your girlfriend" then I said I was referring to him. He responded again saying out of nowhere he was a bad friend(which honestly seemed joke-y since it really had nothing to do with what I said). I again responded just saying 'what' and he again just said repeated that me and A 'needed to bond'. I got a little peeved saying that if I wanted to bond with A we were perfectly capable of making plans on our own and that we made plans all together because he's our friend and we want to spend time with him too, and that if he didn't want to hang out he could just say so. Was I being too rude? Idk if his intentions were good or he was just looking for an excuse to back out of plans..he hasn't responded to me yet.
Also this may be pretty irrelevant but me and A are both female and B is a guy who is crushing hard for someone else, so I don't think jealousy would be an issue here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
y8IPcPNIi7cZ27Htz5cjKziafSTbjhG3
|
am2bq0
|
{
"description": "lying about whether not I've seen memes that my girlfriend sends me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for lying about whether not I've seen memes that my girlfriend sends me?
|
I go on reddit a lot, like way too much, and as a result I have seen basically every meme before it gets popular on facebook or other websites. (Very impressive, I know.) My girlfriend sends me memes now and then, and I always respond laughing even if I've already seen them. i specifically make sure to never be like "saw this already" or anything to that affect, because I think it would be annoying and I know she feels good when I laugh at the memes she sends (one time she almost teared up from being happy when I full-on bellylaughed at a meme her brother had made and showed me when we were in the car)
But today she basically found out because she went to show a mutual friend a meme that she had just showed me, but I already sent it to him like a day or two ago. From there she pretty much figured out the whole ruse. She thinks I was manipulative and childish, and she feels embarrassed and doesnt want to share jokes with me in any form now. I think she's being ridiculous, but I thought I would run the situation by you lot to get some feedback just in case. So reddit, am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KEX3kWX1XMJTrjDwnX0YGlvlwEiOUzge
|
at9pqo
|
{
"description": "having sex with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for having sex with my boyfriend?
|
Throwaway account because they know my Reddit, we're 16
This happened last week
A little backstory, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and have known each other for 6. My boyfriend (N) lives with his mother, older half brother and grandparents in loft-studio combo. He shares the loft with his mother and brother while his grandparents are downstairs. N and his bother (D) are VERY close and are only a year apart. N"s father's parents live in another state and have a "no sex in our house" rule and we both follow it diligently. We carry this rule over to his house to avoid being walked in on UNLESS everyone will be gone for a few days and even then, we keep it to the shower. His mother and grandparents don't know we're having sex. And another thing, his family, minus his brother, don't like us together or me in general for multiple reasons.
Now the story.
D had a sports thing to attend out of state for 3 days and his mother(S) and grandparents all attended leaving us to housesit. Everything was fine until day 2 when after we got back from a date, things got really heated and as soon as we got in the apartment my shirt and bra were downstairs and we were not.
That same night we were cooling down after being intimate in the shower and were now in bed doing oral, they came back early with no warning. D was the first one in the door and upstairs. We didn't have anytime to cover up before he yelled to his mom and ran downstairs . (I later found out that he was in a sour mood because his team had lost.) N and I managed to cover up before his mom made her way to the loft, and boy was she pissed.
S yelled at me something like, "You have five seconds to get the HELL away from my son and out of my house!"
N, who had stopped me from telling her to get the fuck out and is beet red at this point, had calmly told her to go downstairs so we can change.
S looked liked I had slapped her mother but complied after shooting daggers at me. We got dressed, me using N's shirt.
As soon as we got downstairs, S threw my shirt and bra at my face (nicked my eye) and told me that if she saw me around her sons (yes, including D who I rarely talk to) again she'll get me arrested. Both N and I told her she couldn't do that to us and she replied with, "I have every right to keep my kids away from a lying slut." I told her to go fuck herself and a few more colorful words before I stormed off home
to check on my eye and tell my grandmother what happened.
I didn't hear from N for a few days and was blocked on everything by his mother.
According to a mutual friend of ours, N and S got into a huge fight followed by an argument between D and N. N is currently on lockdown for what happened and I can't help but blame myself for it as I was the one that initiated the sex. My grandmother thinks that we should've been more mindful but my brother and friends thinks we did nothing wrong.
I love my boyfriend and I hate seeing him in trouble for this. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
QitxgsjvDNSRBsIfHlixeELtU9fqkWVP
|
ap9bxe
|
{
"description": "not inviting a new close friend to the wedding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not inviting a new close friend to the wedding?
|
So I am currently getting a masters in a two year program. Right in my first semester, only 14 months ago, I got engaged. We decided to wait 2 years to do the wedding, so I’ll be getting married soon. We did a lot of the planning very quickly, so most of my new friends from grad school didn’t make the guest list since I had only just met them at the time. At a later time when save the dates we’re going out, I decided to invite 2 very close friends from school but no one else. Now, a friend that is recently beginning to engage more so we’ve gotten to know each other, keeps asking about the date, “can’t wait to see the save the date, oh send me your wedding website,” etc. While I do consider her a better friend now, it’s clear she expects an invite, and I know she’ll be very sad and hurt when she finds out I didn’t invite her but I did invite the other two girls. Not even jealous or mad, just sad and I don’t want to hurt her feelings but also the budget is tight and specific and it would have to be her and her husband and it’s just a lot. AITA for not inviting her or do I still do it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mgIdl86zefG3mKSlBGZIBMTNrWgYHhph
|
awkam2
|
{
"description": "accepting money from a guy I have no interest in",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for accepting money from a guy I have no interest in?
|
so i have known this guy for a couple years now. he originally found me on tinder and tracked me down on facebook through a mutual friend. i continued to deny him but one day a few months later agreed to go get food. i am definitely not attracted to him and the most that ever occurred was a hug, ONE TIME.
every so often we would go get food (he always paid) and then i’d go home. on a couple occasions i went to his apartment and our dogs socialized, but again nothing more than a platonic hang out. occasionally though he would start venmo-ing me money. usually just like $25-50 here and there and it was generally out of the blue.
fast forward to like 2018, we had a falling out and i blocked him on basically everything except text messages (although his # is deleted) and venmo. my birthday was just this week and he texted me happy birthday and if i wanted some money. i said “sure” and he sent me $50. no further texting. today he asked about my dog. i told him he had passed away in november. boom - $500 venmo’ed to me.
some of my friends think i am “taking advantage of him” but i have never asked for money. he seems to do it as like a power move thing.
tl;dr: i accept money via venmo from a guy who i don’t have any interest in even at a friendship level.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
nMzlFq5fLocPxNYPSfE572bffZdtQBk8
|
b9vkn2
|
{
"description": "not wanting my partner to walk around the house with his headphones in all the time",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA because I don't want my partner to walk around the house with his headphones in all the time?
|
My boyfriend of 10 years loves listening to podcasts. He listens to them constantly. Literally every waking moment, he has headphones in, listening to podcasts. It's ok when he's out watering the garden or something, but I dislike it when we're sitting in the living room together. Every time I want to speak to him he has to take out an ear bud and shout 'what?' at me. I made a snarky comment tonight (which I shouldn't have done) about it and he got really angry. I know people these days spend a lot of time on social media, but I don't feel that listening to podcasts with his headphones in is the same thing. Using the headphones is actively excluding me from what he's doing and I'm sick of feeling that I'm getting in the way by wanting him to interact with me instead of wearing headphones all day every day around the house. Am I being an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
Boyl5QTWIzJQBAP3JlHCO0LyNEJVGWvC
|
am4c5x
|
{
"description": "waiting for another person before leaving an so",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for waiting for another person before leaving an SO?
|
The title probably is really confusing, but let me explain this in the best way I can.
​
I'm currently 16 years old, 5'9", and people seem to tell me I'm a fair 8-9/10 on an attractiveness scale. This gives me a good amount of options when getting into relationships. I got into a relationship on November 3, 2018 and I was with her for a little while, about two and a half months. It was around the middle of January, and I find out she sent pictures to another guy. Obviously, I'm floored, but hell, I love the attention of a significant other, and this girl gave plenty of it. So my decision was to stay with this person I was with until I found someone else, which admittedly sounds wrong, but I wouldn't have done it under different circumstances. I call it an eye for an eye, I guess, but others see it in both directions.
I was in this situation for about a week and a half, and I found myself matching well with my current partner, who I just got with January 26, 2019. I broke up with the other girl the night before, because I never would cheat by having multiple partners, as I have been burned that way in the past, and nobody deserves that pain.
​
What are your thoughts on all this? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
Bv2a7CwoWjP1izWC0i120bHASdJ8CZmB
|
azznbb
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on holiday and not telling her when I'm her only friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on holiday and not telling her when I'm her only friend?
|
Bit of backstory, there's this girl who I've been "friends" with for the last 10-ish year. I use quotation because I don't think I've actually enjoyed being friends for the last 6 years at least but she doesn't know that and I wont tell her because she doesn't have other friends. She's always had a bit of trouble making new friends and she loses them quite easily because shes not the most tactful. I have been on holiday with her in the past and she doesn't really like me talking to other people when we're together and she gets kinda cranky when having to be social for more than like 2 hours (so plane rids and REALLY hard). Don't get me wrong it's not like I hate her and I definitely don't want her to be alone, she's just a bit hard to be around for an extended amount of time.
So this is where my problem arises. Last year I went on holiday with a couple friends to Asia, had a great time and would love to go back. On one of my outings with my "friend" she asked me about the trip and I mentioned that one day I would want to go back. This is when (and she had never mentioned this to me before) she mentions that she really wants to go to where we went and that we should go together, she even mentioned here that her mum said she wouldn't go with her (she has no other family) and that it would be perfect as I want to go back and she doesn't know anyone else who wants to go. Neither of us have the money at this time so she suggests that we go in a couple of year, I try to move on without really agreeing and we do (move on). I had hoped that that would be the end of that... but unfortunately she's mentioned it every time we meet up since. I've never actually agreed but I've never said no either.
AITA for not telling her that I don't want to go? I kinda fell like I'm stringing her along but I know she really wouldn't take it well if I said I didn't want to go. I'm worried it would mean she would stop wanting to be friends as that would leave her with none.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3odahuEGWUZx6Lukha3gKUz7DjAMZlZN
|
am17o1
|
{
"description": "insisting that personal health and safety is a personal responsibility",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA When I insisted that personal health and safety is a personal responsibility?
|
There was an event where they were raising awareness for people suffering mental health in silence and having to put on a normal persona in fear of being stereotyped if they ask for help. It was to make a loud noise as a metaphor. I personally, don't care for it nor does it apply to me. I also did not participate in it. But I understand what it's meant for and why some people need representation. However, there were other people that expressed that they were disturbed by the loud noises and that it triggered them. I said that's tragic, explained why other people needed this, and what they can do when they get their triggers (like remove their selves from the place, practice their calming technics, or find a quieter place as this was a temporary thing). I was told that they shouldn't be doing the event anyway as they don't get how it helps. To which I replied, it's probably not for you then and we can't control what other people want to do and what brings them purpose. I then got called insensitive to people with mental illness and condescending as well as perplexing that I even have a background in psychology. To that I said there is no excuse to manipulate people into conforming to accommodate one person. Making people feel bad for you because of your mental illness to convince them to be on your side is fucked up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
gPQNZVjgcJF398995uwO0vPmxt2HpOBR
|
api8xg
|
{
"description": "yelling at an online friend over a discord game",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for yelling at an online friend over a discord game?
|
The title sounds bland but there’s more to this, I promise.
I use discord a lot, and I even own my own server with a little under 100 members but we’re fairly active and enjoy each other’s company. I host ORGS (online reality game shows) over discord, sort of like DND campaigns online. People enjoy them, and even though I’m still fairly new to the hosting scene some people have told me that I’m better than most OG hosts (+5 self esteem points woo).
Anyways, I was hosting an ORG a few days ago. One of my friends who tends to get a little emotional over stuff was making a plan with the other players. There was currently a motive that if someone didn’t die within the next 24 hours (ingame), a random player would be paralysed. In an act of “kindness” my friend decided to sacrifice (suicide ingame) himself. I reminded him in character that he couldn’t come back to life as the players didn’t have access to the spirit book (an item where you can do things like possession, summoning and specifically reviving dead players). He was confident that people would bring him back to life, even though I kept telling him he wouldn’t be able to come back into the game, but he could spectate.
He dies and then asks if I can revive him. I remind him for the third time it can’t happen. Here’s something I want to mention; The specific item of the “spirit book” isn’t my original creation, it was a suggestion a friend made. He made all the rules for it and I don’t have permission to modify them, and besides I didn’t even want to change them cause I wasn’t going to bend the rules for one person. He comes up to me in DMs and starts questioning my ethic and all that. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but this is what I mean;
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/427194874027048960/544115804115828746/image0.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/427194874027048960/544115792476766209/image0.png
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
sF3tCFCM6lpFJCMKTymJcpqSxU0BrKDt
|
b4zsmu
|
{
"description": "not giving my brother an internship and telling him he's not cut out for tech",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not giving my brother an internship and telling him he's not cut out for tech?
|
I'm 27M. My brother's 20M, and in college studying comp-sci. I have a financial tech (which I'll be referring to as a 'fintech' company) company. My brother, for whatever reason, wanted to be just like me and decided he was going to be a programmer just like me. Problem is, he has no skill at programming whatsoever. To his credit, he's a hard worker, but he just doesn't *get it*, so to speak. He's probably skilled at some other field, but even with hours of studying, his grades are completely mediocre.
So anyways, he was looking for summer internships and was convinced he could get an internship at Google, Facebook, Microsoft, etc. He got rejected, and turned to me. I'm not one for nepotism, but I told him to send in his resume, and I'll look over it.
After looking it over, he's completely unqualified. His grades are average at best, and he's not involved in any research or clubs related to comp-si. My internship pool is pretty competitive- not Google by any means, but I still get a fair share of really good candidates. And my brother isn't one of them, and I can't justify giving him an internship.
When I told him this, he got pissed and called my parents, who also told me to give him the internship. I still refused, and he confronted me with a bunch of angry texts. I texted this back to him:
Look, if you're set on a career in tech, you should get used to rejections like this. You're a hard worker and presumably you have talent in some field. Find that field, and your hard work + talent will help you succeed.
He texted back:
But I've found that field already. It's programming.
I texted:
No. You're just not a programmer. You're not cut out for tech, so if you're intent on the field, prepare to be rejected a lot.
He got pissed off at this, and he and the rest of my family aren't talking to me.
Aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
9ve4cQK6zRD6DzCj8RYVs8Vq5mORAFEp
|
ah7uf9
| null |
AITA in this interaction I had on the bus?
|
So I didn’t have my metro card on me so my friend decided to swipe his for me. He handed me his card and I went onto the bus to swipe myself (he’s still outside). Anyway, as I was handing it back to him, the next person came on the bus (didn’t pay) and was literally walking into me as if I wasn’t there. He was basically shoving his way onto the bus like he was on a fucking riot team or some shit. Because he was doing this, he semi-tripped over my foot (didn’t fall on the ground, but came close). He turned around and said “Are you good bro?”. Now, I could see his side of the argument that I was kinda blocking the path but I don’t see why he couldn’t have waited literally 1 second. And this wasn’t during rush-hour or anything, it was fucking 2AM. Thoughts???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
qRzIRCzirXkG5ELeexl5sGCbZHqfW8fa
|
b3tgin
|
{
"description": "being upset after my friend/roommate left for school without me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset after my friend/roommate left for school without me?
|
My friend (F20) and I (F19) live together with two other roommates in the town that we all study in. My friend, let’s call her Jane, studies the same thing as me at the same school.
We knew eachother from before we moved in together and because of this, living together luckily hasn’t been a very big issue. We get along most of the time and if we ever argue, it’s because she is very stubborn and never believes she is in the wrong for something or because I get irritated easily (which I’m working on, also kinda why I’m asking if I’m the asshole).
Usually we take the buss together for lectures, but Jane has had her car here resently, and asked me if I wanted a ride. I said yes because I can sleep longer than if I have to ride the buss and I find it more enjoyable. Something also worth noting is that earlier this year, when there weren’t any snow, I had my car with me and I drove us to school together everyday for a short period of time (the reason why I leave my car at home instead of bringing it with me to the town I study, is because it has been winter and we get alot of snow here, and my car is a bit bigger than Janes so it’s more difficult to drive around and park in our neighbourhood).
Today, I woke up so that I would be able to ride with Jane. We talked while we were making food and everything seemed alright. I then brought my food with me to my room to eat there (because I’m really grumpy in the morning, lol) and Jane went to FaceTime with her boyfriend in the livingroom. Half an hour before we usually leave I hear Jane leave the house, while on the phone with her boyfriend, but I thought maybe she was going to buy some food or snacks or something. When I finished eating ten minutes later I get a snap from her which says the she left for school. At this point I have to run to catch the bus, because I wasn’t prepared to have to ride it, and it just put me in a bad mood for the rest of the morning.
Now, AITA for being upset? I know it’s her car and that I’m lucky to ride with her, but I feel like she could have told me in person and while we were making food or something, so that I didn’t have to stress my way to the buss.
Sorry if my english is bad, I’m not a native speaker.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RVjGokG0uFaaC6cKau8MlWpwZRjIbosJ
|
ag0r3a
|
{
"description": "not giving up my seat for any of the teachers",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for not giving up my seat for any of the teachers?
|
Im a student in an LA Highschool, where the teacher strike affected us greatly. My brother and I went in first and got a pair of fold up chairs in the gym (since that was the last room of our 3 rotations), and we set them next to an outlet. As of now there is no more chairs and teachers are starting to stare at us. Im concerned that they would come for the seats that I believe were rightfully ours. So in the end, WIBTA if I decline to give up my seat?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XyGPQAG6OXj4rYQHz6OOsuBIBCWzLSQX
|
akqdqv
|
{
"description": "making my wife try to find a job",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For making my wife try to find a job?
|
(Sorry for the format. On mobile)
So my wife (25) and I (29) have been Married for two years. I'm currently in the military and my wife as the title says, is unemployed. We have no kids, unless you count our cats, and have no plans on getting any. My wife also has really bad anxiety but thanks to military benefits we've been getting her medication to help with that. Anyways, while she's not working, she is working on her art. She said that she wanted to make a game of some sort, such as an RPG or something of the like. And to her credit, her artwork has become more and more amazing.
But her artwork has been reflecting more of our DnD characters and other DnD games she's in. And frankly I haven't seen any kind of new concept art for her "game." The house will fall into disarray and she rarely cooks anymore. Plus she's been smoking a lot of pot as of late. Anywhere between 30 to 50 bucks a week. She says that it's to help her eat (self diagnosis) and to help her with art. But she's also been smoking pot before her DnD sessions as well.
Also to add more to the pile, this morning I was looking for my keys. And I checked my wife's jacket since she had the car last. And what do I find? A pack of cigarettes. We both quit back in June, and granted to this day we both get cravings. So I know for a fact she's using my money to buy cigarettes now.
So basically, all morning I've been wondering if I should confront her about this. And basically demand that she needs to either make one room in the house spotless, or show proof of a job application. She's told me that she's put in a few applications already. But now that I saw the cigarettes, it honestly makes me wonder if she's lying about anything else.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm rambling. But I'm at my waits end. AITA? Also any advice would be much appreciated.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
0uv0geb6QGNu4RmR80tTgOAPWH77Q0P8
|
a35pxd
|
{
"description": "regarding a friend I broke contact with a few weeks ago",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA regarding a friend I broke contact with a few weeks ago.
|
First time posting here, I don't really know why. I feel like I've lost the ability to give myself some sense of closure for this who situation, and there's been a pretty big internal conflict of me telling myself that the person in question is right and I'm a piece of shit and all my friends and peers telling me that no, they're the one in the wrong. This story requires some context, so I don't know how long it'll drag out.
Let's begin with context. Made contact with a girl I met in Intermediate school through a mutual friend near the beginning of this year. Had a crush during the Intermediate years and kind of idly held onto it for the next two and a quarter or so years. Me and this girl, who I'll call Kate, started talking on a daily basis and ended up getting pretty close as friends. I began to see signs of what I interpreted as depression, history of self-harm, extreme stress and anxiety, trouble sleeping, stuff like that. Brought it up with Kate quite frequently, encouraging her to go see the school counsellor (we attended different schools, if at all relevant) or talk to her parents. Refusing to do both of these things (was intent that she was fine, and had pretty serious parent issues, as well as trust issues which made seeing a counsellor/her parents all the more difficult) for a couple of months, I finally convinced her to go see the school counsellor. Went once, on the second to last day of school for that term, then never went again, I'll get back to that later.
Fast forward a few weeks, to a few weeks ago, and we've decided to break contact, not in a happy way. Sent me some images that implied she no longer wanted to be my friend. When I asked her what was up, gave me a paragraph about how even if she did have feelings for me (which she says she didn't), she would hate being in a relationship with me because I'd be "\[physically and psychologically abusive\]" (paraphrasing because I can't remember the exact wording, and how I'd be extremely jealous of any other boys she was around because I'd feel like my position was being threatened. Then proceeded to tell me, and I quote almost perfectly here: "When you do get a girlfriend, which you will because there are 7 billion people on this planet, I'd feel sorry for her."
After that whole shebazzle about how I'd be terrible in a relationship, proceeded to tell me that she was absolutely fine regarding the "depression" thing, self-harm was just a temporary thing and stress is what kept her motivated and she'd be fine. Then went further to say that actually I had been gaslighting her by telling her that I think there's something wrong with her, that she was "broken". Told me that she hadn't gone to the counsellor to get any sort of help for herself, but instead to get me to shut up about asking/telling her to go, because she was evidently sick of it. Few more lines about how all I've done is hurt her, lied to her, manipulated her, etc.
Fast forward a week after we've completely stopped talking, sends a poem through a friend. I don't really know why Kate decided to send me a poem, but it was kind of self-pitying and I still can't figure out if it was designed to upset me, make me feel bad, or just as a strange way of saying goodbye? The interesting thing here is that Kate often remarked on how she'd just stop being friends with people, without any real drama, and yet here she is sending me a poem. I just took that as a sign that she'd grown somehow attached to me, which in a way doesn't surprise me as she often described me as her closest/most trusted friend.
Anyways, onto the actual question of this. Am I the Asshole here? Granted, this hasn't given Kate's side of the story, and I'm sure she'd have a lot to say, but I can't read minds (wish I could). I confess I wasn't always the best friend ever, there are certainly times where I can pin "Asshole" squarely on myself, but beneath all of the petty and often somewhat unkind things I did/said, I truly did care deeply for her. And I'm not saying that I was a piece of shit 24/7, I was mostly (at least from how I see it) just a normal, supportive, caring friend. It was just little things that evidently stacked up enough to topple her patience with me. I try to justify that I'm in the right by looking at how many hours I spent worrying, even crying over her and her (perceived) issues, but even that seems unfair because that could just be me being melodramatic. I guess what I'm trying to say but not very well is that I always cared extremely deeply for her, and all the telling her to go to the counsellor, or talk to her parents, was done with good intentions and the hopes that she could get the help for what I saw/thought was wrong with her that I wasn't able to provide.
As I wrote this, it occurs to me that my writing in a way kind of makes me look like an asshole, but maybe that's the truth, I don't really know. I guess that's why I'm here. I'm not going to lie when I say I'm a little bit bitter and upset about the whole thing, but I guess that's just the nature of this kind of shitty situation. Thank you for any input you have.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
r4qU0oACYtlJlvHuY2G2yICDR1YW6cFR
|
a4sh9e
|
{
"description": "going off on my ex-boyfriend/friend and trying to explain my side",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for going off on my ex-boyfriend/friend and trying to explain my side?
|
So I’ve been with this guy on and off again for a while romantically which started off with me actually being an asshole, but then it kinda just flip-flopped with him sexually assaulting me when we were supposed to be just friends and all. He blocked me everywhere after that (long story) and we didn’t really talk much till maybe beginning of November when I found his new Snapchat and we started opening up to each other again. We agreed we were friends again, and I told him not to block me this time and he was fine with that.
When talking about his sexual misconduct and all, he refused to apologize because he didn’t feel guilty yet. Then he told me the guilt finally hit him and begged for my forgiveness. I wanted to so badly in the moment, but told him I couldn’t. I know I couldn’t because I was never going to be truly over it and couldn’t have him use my forgiveness against me in the future whenever I bring it up again, and I didn’t know how trustworthy he was. He understood my decision, making it seem like he was going to try a different approach better than simply messaging me a long paragraph, but he never did that.
Eventually it seemed like he got colder towards me. Because he told me in his apology that he couldn’t help but hate me because of his guilt, I asked if that was still bothering him. He assured me it wasn’t but continued to appear cold towards me with him sending memes when I was serious, leaving me on opened, and not taking me seriously in general. I changed my view on the acceptance of his apology to “I don’t even want to forgive you now”. He told me “thank you for telling me” and that was that. I also thought I implied I didn’t want to talk, but clearly that didn’t go through since he started messaging me random stuff maybe two days after. That was when I started making snarky comments and admittedly bitchy replies.
He calls me out on it, saying “bitchy comments like that makes me want to talk to you less”. I told him his recent behavior was why I send bitchy comments. He didn’t understand, I brought up I didn’t want to talk to him a while ago, and started losing it. I tried to keep my calm as he sent messages in all caps. I told him to calm down with the caps while trying to explain, but then he made comments like “Oi nothing to worry about princess” when I asked what was wrong. I told him he wasn’t a good friend anymore, unlike my current friends.
Then it turned into me ranting about my problems I had with him. I thought if I gave more specific examples, he’d be able to address them on if I was wrong or not with my interpretations. Like maybe he wasn’t a dick after all. But instead, he told me to get out of his life and blocked me. Some of those messages included, “you suck”, “you bring out the worst in me”, “I can’t believe I thought I could actually be friends with you”, “you’re stupid for letting yourself deal with this”, “MMMMMM”, “STAY OUT OF MY LIFE”. And no I sent nothing in between those messages to garner the change in texting styles.
But the reason I think I could be the asshole is because I could’ve handled that better probably. I feel like I failed as a friend when I told him I was done being nice. I couldn’t maintain the balance of being nice and being stern with him. Then again, he did break his word at times and our last conversation may have been a misunderstanding.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
negVxAGjvWukr8EE0AQEPw4Cr5Irh5eK
|
a4z0e9
|
{
"description": "hosing a spider down a Plughole",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hosing a Spider down a Plughole?
|
I panicked, am I going to hell where spiders get their revenge?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
z1m0C3LipJXN70p4X8BXtEKjjksvHo1l
|
atr402
|
{
"description": "quitting my job in the middle of a shift and not coming in the next day",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for quitting my job in the middle of a shift and not coming in the next day?
|
I worked as a house cleaner for a company. From the start, I felt like my boss took advantage of me. For example, he scheduled me for a small apartment notorious for having dog poop all over. He told me to wear a face mask and vacuum around the dog poop (we are not allowed to clean body fluids). It smelt so disgusting that I gagged when I walked in, with all that poop confined in one space. I sucked it up and did this job for my boss bc it was a new company and I knew he needed any money at this point. I feel like I should have quit after this, but I continued working there.
I begin to break out in severe cystic acne bc of stress. On another job, a customer made fun of it and would not leave me alone while I was trying to clean. She was talking bad about my skin to my co-cleaner in Spanish (I know a little). I left this job bc I started getting really upset. He was sticking up for the customer saying I should have gotten over it.
I was one of his best cleaners. I would often get the job done faster and more efficiently than my coworkers except one. She quit. Leaving me and 2 other cleaners to be the only ones. I told him a week in advance that I was going to take 3 days off bc I was getting burnt out and I really did not want to leave him high and dry like my coworker. I purposely wanted to come back on a Tuesday bc I had a regular house that tipped well and I cleaned her house for the past 10 weeks and she requests me.
My boss was salty that I was taking these 3 days off. Coming into work, I already felt like I was going to put my 2 weeks in soon. I go in expecting my regular house, but out of spite, he gives me a 6hr new house that usually he would have split between two people bc it really means 8-10 if it is dirty. On top of this, he gave my house to a person who has worked for the company for 2 weeks. I feel like this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I go to the house and do a walkthrough of the house and based on how dirty it is it was going to take at least 10 hours to clean, vacuum, and mop. (5bd, 4bath, 1half bath, 2living, kitchen,dining). There is no AC and it was the hottest day of the summer. I begin cleaning the baths but I feel dehydrated and overheated. I clean for a total of 3 hrs. I sit down and try to continue but I am fed up that my boss gave me this house in the first place instead of my regular so I left and did not tell him.
I write down the 3 hours I worked and do not show up to work the next day. I feel bad mostly for the family that had to show up to a house they thought was going to be cleaned. However, I know my boss will send someone else (probably two cleaners) to finish the job. My boss calls me a few times and texts but I don’t pick up. I eventually text him saying that I quit bc I can’t handle the stress of this job and my skin keeps progressively getting worse.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
dxRPZvykO11w4GMB9Jkqa3SP0ZMQ7wYn
|
ar4we6
|
{
"description": "not accepting an apology",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITAH for not accepting an apology.
|
Hey folks, I’m going to try and tell this as bias free as I can. Important info, we live in BFE so the doctors appointments/PT are at least 45minutes away. It made more sense for them to go to the doctor/physical therapy with me than for me to drive 45 minutes to the appointments, 45 minutes home, and then 45 min to town and then 45 min home. I tried for two days straight to take my fiancé out for Valentine’s Day. I would be paying for the lunch, movie, and gas for the date. The only kicker was that I had physical therapy one day and a doctors appointment at the other so we needed to leave the house before noon both days. Well the first day arrives and fiancé won’t get out of bed and I finally tell them that I guess I’ll just go ahead to physical therapy without them since I would be late and they weren’t even really up yet. I go to the date and come home and we agree that we will go to the movie the next day. Well the next day comes and they get up and are sullen at the doctors appointment because they don’t feel good. They are sullen at lunch because they don’t feel good and I ask if we should cancel are plans. They pussy foot around it and I explain that if they aren’t going to have a good time I don’t want to go. So we agree to not go and go to Walmart and then home. Am I the asshole for being upset that they couldn’t get it together enough to go on two different dates that they agreed to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
8Xp3fZ2Q6hq1rHazH0vyG8b4WO8zoxFO
|
af2a8o
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed by my friend bringing over my crush's crush at lunch",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed by my friend bringing over my crush's crush at lunch?
|
So a little background, I have a crush on a girl named Eden, and I told her, but nothing ended up happening, were basically just really close friends, and she has a crush on this guy named Sean, who I actually like, but I obviously dont like that she likes him. And all of my friends and her friends know that I like her.
​
Me and my 2 friends sit at the table right next to her and her friend Kayla, sometimes accompanied by up to 3 other people, but they are irrelevant to this. my friend that sits at my table (while talking to Eden) sees Sean walk by and says "hey, what's up" and brings him close to the tables and gets a high five or something, while i feel extremely uncomfortable and Eden can barely function because they are in sight of each other. I know he does it just because he wants to make Eden act awkwardly and its funny or something but I really cant handle it but I dont do anything but sit there and watch. and then sometimes Kayla and Eden just talk about sean directly in front of me and how great he is, like hey guys im right here. I got in to a debate with Kayla about this and she says I have no right to tell them what they cant say, the sean thing is an "inside joke". Im not telling her she cant talk about sean right in front of me, im just saying its kinda rude.
​
AITA for getting annoyed by this and thinking its rude?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
drCIJAl4njgvkiPdgJ7MbxkpiKNSy5qL
|
as424t
|
{
"description": "trying to stop talking with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA By trying to stop talking with my friend?
|
Short backstory: I’m a college student now and have been interested in a friend of mine since about junior year, but she got a boyfriend about a week before I was going to ask her out. I decided I was pretty satisfied with just being friends with her, but it was always kinda difficult to talk about her SO. Fast forward about 2 years and she broke up with the guy for the second time (since the first time was kinda hidden from everyone) and now they’re done.
I made a New Years resolution to throw out the past and come into 2019 fresh, so I asked her out about 3 months after her breakup completely knowing I’d get rejected. Just wanted a fresh year where I got over old feelings, you know? But let’s just say shes been drifting away from me since then and we don’t really talk as much. I realized whenever we spoke I didn’t feel happy like I used to. Recently my life had kinda been crashing down with family passing and other stressful problems. So over the weekend I decided I wanted to get rid of the avoidable things that are making me sad. Her in particular because I don’t think I can see her through another relationship with how I feel.
I just can’t determine if this is me trying to take control of myself, or I’m on some kinda nice-guy-incel stuff. Basically AITA?
TLDR: Got rejected by girl, but we have been friends and stayed friends. I’ve been feeling like shit for family reasons and want to stop being friends.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
KEk21yxE2FKh7vsZuJlmJ7qyGOm4MNij
|
aqdsea
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my sister's graduation",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my sister's graduation
|
So first a little background all together I have 4 siblings my bother S, my older sister M and my younger sisters the twins. Me and my sister M used to be pretty close but grew apart after she went to college. While she was away me and my other siblings grew much closer to each other. Fast forward to today me and my other siblings do not get along that well with M. She claims that we don't want her to be part of the family anymore. We try to invite her to stuff but she usually declines. The reason we don't get along with her we'll any more is because we've caught her lying multiple, always have to make things about herself, and can never admit when she's wrong. The four of us are pretty done with her but try to make an effort for our mom and dad who want us to all get along. Now that M's graduation is coming up soon Mom wants to know who is all coming because her school is out of state. At first it seemed that she did not care all that much if we came or not. But now that's changed that the twins won't be able to go because they are part of the school play and have to be there for tech week. S is staying behind to watch the twins because they are still only 14 and he has work. M is now acting upset that they are staying behind and Mom has started to ask me if I'm going. I will be free the weekend of her graduation so I do not have an excuse not to go. I haven't said it to he face yet but I don't want to go. I know this will probably upset her but I don't want to spend my weekend at a school in the middle of no where just to hear a bunch of names get called.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
n73YxM4AAvXZF9XYbDon9eqK9obefoTX
|
b5bvh6
|
{
"description": "wanting to stick with what was agreed upon",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to stick with what was agreed upon?
|
First post, phone format, english not first language. TL/DR on bottom
So, i have two kids with my ex wife. We both are nurses, wich doesnt pay very well, atleast in my country. She also studies further in the same field, so i assume that moneys extra tight for her, dunno If she still Works at the same time. We both have new SO's, hers is a fellow student, mine a working person.
Our eldest has autism (kinda relevant). Here goverment pays you monthly for each kid you have to support clothing, hobbies etc. And if you have special needs kid(s) they try and compensate what you approx. lose in wages (evening/nightshifts and weekends etc) This disability benefit covers about half of what i'd earn on working all shifts instead of 7 - 15 like i mostly do now.
Upon separation and divorce we agreed that i'll keep the disability benefit for the eldest to be able to handle kids therapies, doctor appointments and such. Both kids are on daycare thats open only on weekdays due to needing that bit of extra support. The goverment assisted childsupport goes to My ex wife so she can buy the kids all the clothes since shes always been the one who handles that part. That childsupport should be then enough for that purpose alone. It won't pay for high end brand clothes, but good ones nonetheless. The kids live week/week, equally with me and their mothers
Now my ex thinks that i should buy increasing amounts of clothes to my kids becouse she doesnt have time/money. When i pointed out that we agreed on benefits distribution so that i can afford to handle the special needs and she can handle the clothing she got livid. Now she's talking about taking me to court for child support for the clothing money, becouse apparently "i work so hard and my SO also has a job"
Dont get me wrong, ofc i'll buy clothes for my kids. But i also want to stay on what was agreed.
TL/DR: My ex and i have a verbal agreement considering child benefits and shopping. I want to stick with it, she wants me to handle stuff we previously agreed is her responsibility
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
QALxUanpxjFCHLkQhNOSh5u0NxsIlRol
|
b7d7mg
|
{
"description": "scamming my dad",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for scamming my dad
|
This is a throwaway account because I don’t want anyone I know irl finding out
Back story : when I was in grade 4 my dad cheated on my mom, she had enough of his bs and took my sister and I with her and moved to Canada. She tried to divorce him but he’s a very good lawyer with a lot of power where I come from so my mom couldn’t find a single good lawyer for her case. The only one she found was a rookie lawyer who was extremely irresponsible which is why 6 years later she’s still dealing with the segmentation.
So fast forward to now, I’m in grade 11 and my dad contacted me last year. Ever since he first contacted me I’ve been talking to him and telling him about my life, I even spent a summer with him. I never grew up with a dad so the minute he turned up I was secretly hoping that he would come back and everything even though my mom warned me about him and as much as I despise him for his non existent morals and what he did to my mom, he’s still my father and I uncontrollably want to impress him and build a good relationship with him.
He gave me a total of 4 credit cards, 11 debit cards and an Asian version of the elite credit card with no limit, countless cash and luxury goods in the span of 1 year since I met him. He showed me a life that I would’ve never lived or even seen if not for him. Starting from last year September, I started giving my mom money, paying for everything, Groceries, clothing, my sister’s therapy and even for the house mortgage (5000/month), my dad asked me in the beginning why I all of a sudden spent such a large amount of money but I just lied to him because I knew he wouldn’t be okay with me spending his money on my mother. At the time I had absolutely no guilt lying to him because he’s counselling fees was a minimum of 800$ an hour and i knew the money I spent was nothing to him, I felt like my mom deserved to get something back from the years she was tortured with him.
But since February, I keep feeling guilty for lying about it after he told me he was going come to Canada to accompany me through university (I finished all the requirements so I’m graduating in June) and on top of that he wanted me to work I bid firm, I’ve always wanted to be a good lawyer like him and he is literally giving me everything I ever dreamt of. I feel like this one time he is actually trying to be a good dad and try to repair his relationship with me. I don’t want to lie to him and scam him if he is actually trying to be a good person so for the past 2 month I keep feeling like a huge asshole and everything
I don’t know if this is wrong given my situation, so please tell me am I the asshole for scamming and lying to him even though he’s trying to built a good relationship
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
P7C6h92j3gCE07FDguf3hfHihEkMwybe
|
a011mf
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help my mom's friend's daughter do her homework",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I don't want to help my mom's friend's daughter do her homework?
|
My mom's friend is a really nice women that always buys treats for our family whenever they go on vacation and my mom treats their family as if they were part of our family. Their daughter's about the same age as me, in high school.
One thing to note is that they don't really speak fluent English because they've only lived in Canada for a few months. They originally moved here from Argentina.
Anyway, my mom's friend's daughter got put into a french class because she showed up in the middle of the year and didn't really get to choose her courses. While she can understand English, she has absolutely no clue for French. Feeling bad, my mom suggested that I help her with her homework, which I did for a few months.
Eventually, as time went on, the homework got harder and harder (for her), and as that progressed, it went from me explaining to her what to do to me doing all of the work for her. At some point, I snapped out and cut off contact with her, telling her that she was a freeloader and that she didn't care about being my friend and that she only wanted to use me so she wouldn't fail French.
Now, cutting off ties is ridiculous with a family friend. We still see each other every so often when our families decide to have dinner together, but we don't talk. Honestly, being distant feels safer for me, because at least then she won't have the courage to ask me for more help.
Looking back at it, should I feel bad for the way I responded? Does it make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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a3ts0s
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{
"description": "not letting sibling go to Disney Land for 21st birthday",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not letting sibling go to Disney Land for 21st birthday
|
Sorry in advance, this is gonna be a long post. Also on mobile, so it might contain some errors.
Some back story: my brother is the youngest of 7 and he’s spoiled. Like really bad. My parents kinda let him do whatever he wants. They were super strict on all of us, and eventually got easier with each kid, so I feel like they kind of stop the disciplining by the time they got to him.
He’s currently 20 and an hour away for college. My mom always want him to go home when he’s free or on weekends but he always makes excuses, like I’m busy with school or I have work. If he does go home, he would go hang out with his friends. He’s also quite a liar. He always uses the excuse for school when he’s really not doing stuff for school.
Now my brother has a spending habit and it’s fueled by my parents! He has a job and should be able to support himself but he doesn’t. Parents give him weekly “gas” money (100 a week I think). He lives with my other two sibling in my parents house that they bought for us. Everyone pays rent but my mom doesn’t make him pay, saying he doesn’t have money (idk where she gets this idea). My sibling that lives with him makes him pay like 100 a month for utilities and most of the time, he can’t even cover it! My siblings are pretty much done with him. They don’t really care to talk to him bc of this.
He goes out a lot and does college kid stuff, which is fine, but he can never pay his bills. (He doesn’t really have any, just the rent and his phone bill, which is 30 a month).
Well during this time, he gets into some trouble and basically my mom had to put out 2800 to cover this expense. I told him he has to pay for it and he agreed, but my mom wouldn’t allow it. So I told him he will give me the money and I’ll give my mom the money back when he’s done with the payment. I told him he can’t take any vacations until he’s done paying it off, and he agreed. It’s been over a month and he hasn’t mentioned it or attempt to give me anything for it.
Few days ago, he text me and ask if he can go Disney Land for his birthday. I told him I’ll think about it and text him next week. I’m livid bc we talked about this but he still has the audacity to ask me if he can go. I know he’s of adult age but he doesn’t act like one and is very irresponsible. We’ve had so many talks with him about how he needs to grow up and support himself and show some accountability. He tells us he’s sorry and that he’ll change but nothing has change.
I’m torn bc I want to tell him no and that he needs to hold up his deal but at the same time, it’ll be his 21st birthday and I feel bad that he won’t be able to do what he wants.
So AITA for this?
Sorry if I’m babbling!
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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b9mwxo
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{
"description": "yelling at my cousin",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for yelling at my 71F cousin
|
My 71 year old cousin (my grandmothers niece) is living with me an my mom now. Too long of a back story. I am a minor btw.
I get home from taking Standardized Testing, I was sitting in a cold room for 2 hours, answering stupid questions.
I come home, and I eat dinner that my mom made for me. I put the bowl in the sink. My cousin tells me “You gonna wash it? I am not the maid.” She keeps saying that stupid shit, but she doesn’t even do anything in the house besides watch TV, drink water in my moms room and places the bottle on the floor ( and my mom keeps yelling at her for it), leaves Apple seeds on the counter, and drinks only some of the water from the water bottle, and leaves like 3/4 of the water in it, cooks disgusting food and leaves it in a pot that she won’t even eat, and when someone calls her out on it she makes all these bullshit excuses like:
“my doctor said ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘I can’t do that’ something is always wrong with her, and me and my mom stopped believing it. I am tired, I don’t feel like washing a single dish right now. So once she says, “You gonna wash it, I am not the maid.” I lose it, because she always starts shit with me, and my mom doesn’t do shit about it.
I yell at her, “For one thing you don’t even do anything in the house, besides watch TV, you do nothing! All you do, is expect my mom to drive you everywhere, and expect me to order food for you. And you can’t even wash dishes correctly, you still leave food in THE DISH. You only unload the dishwasher every other month. You give my dog, eleven dog treats that he won’t eat, and leave them on the floor, you don’t make up every single bed in this house, you don’t mop the house. You just sit there and talk on the phone and annoy the mess out of everybody. “
Then she says, “ I CANT CLEAN THE HOUSE BECAUSE MY DOCTOR SAID.. I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH MY LEGS.” When she walks around, drives a car, carries heavy ass bags, maybe she do have problems because she does that stupid shit.
She begins to talk shit under her breath. And I call my mom and ask “does she do anything around the house?” My mom says, “No.” I begin to explain that she started with me again, and she says “I’ll talk to her.” My mom didn’t talk to her, my mom enables her, but my mom got mad when she said some stupid shit the other day and yelled at her for 30 minutes straight.
I know I am not supposed to yell at adults me being a minor, but she is so annoying, and everyone has their limits.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
nRdehUQs2djcCcqf40cX8cORERV2fOGM
|
b6mmwn
|
{
"description": "not liking my mom cleaning my room",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not liking my mom cleaning my room?
|
My mom is a stay at home mom, and I am 17. I do struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD and my room is where i feel the safest. Im not really comfortable with people cleaning my room in general, I’ll let it happens but it annoys me because I feel like its my personal space.
My mom, in particular likes cleaning my room. I’ve told her that I’ll do it, but she doesnt listen and just does it anyways even though I actually do clean my room. I have tried to find a middle ground, let her clean some stuff like do my laundry and pick up the trash and towels, but I personally like doing all of the other stuff and I dont have a problem with it. She tells me she does it because it makes her feel appreciated, and i get that sort of.
She’s a bit snoopy, I dont really trust her because she goes through my stuff to find personal things. If she didnt have a history with this, i would feel a bit better about her cleaning through my room. but i feel like its all for the wrong reasons.
TLRD; AITA for not liking my mom cleaning my room because she is pretty snoopy and will go through my personal things?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
MkqdWVlcVE8qUnsR9iDaoBOJEvoehM24
|
9vgecq
|
{
"description": "being nice",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being nice?
|
AITA for being polite?
This happened tonight at my local grocery store. I was having a relatively stressful day and could feel the anger creeping up - but - I always try to keep it under the surface and deal with it later.
I would never be able to win at poker because my face gives away all my emotions and I can be very intense. When I say very intense, I mean very intense. I am average size and build and such but when I am really angry, I give off a seriously bad vibe.
So, there was this big shopping cart traffic jam and this particular person looked at me and said "excuse you!".
I have anger issues that I try to manage. I knew that if I left this unanswered, I would be angry all night. I parked my cart and walked over to the individual. I was going to say "did you want to tell me something?" or "did you have something you wanted to say to me?". I am however trying very hard to manage my temper and attenuate my reactions to small things now.
I touched the individual lightly on the arm, made eye contact and said "I'm sorry if I got in your way. I heard what you said and I wasn't trying to inconvenience you. I'm very sorry." I was trying to be polite but I knew my body language and facial expressions were not as friendly as I would have liked.
Response: "Oh I didn't say anything. I didn't even notice you. I'm sorry. Was I in your way? Blah blah blah"
My answer: "OK sorry I bothered you. Have a great evening."
So, AITA?
​
​
​
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
P2VRAfGighNEa6FfSN5Kbghc0iaUNjQT
|
b4zqq3
|
{
"description": "pointing out the fact that I did all our group homework",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For pointing out the fact that I did all our group homework?
|
I'm a grade 10 ALP student, and this scenario applies to my Civics/Career course.
At the beginning of the semester we were given an assignment called "Call to action proposal", which was a plan for something we'll do as a group to help the world. (We don't actually have to do anything, but we do have to make a legit and realistic plan for it, but I didn't know that because I arrived at the class a few days late)
Since I arrived late, I didn't get to pick my group and just got randomly assigned to a group that's missing a person.
Fast foward a few weeks, because of the high amount of snow days in February, we missed a lot of school and our teacher wanted us to catch up. We didn't pay attention to the schedule and it's 2 days away until we hand in the proposal.
Our group still had no idea what we're doing, the only thing they did is to bring up the government's volunteering page and said "We're going to volunteer", but the volunteer takes place in the summer so that's a no-no.
The day before it was due, one of our group members sent me a short paragraph and said that's his part. And the other group member can't even be contacted although he's playing games on Steam.
Then on the day we're supposed to hand it in, our four part proposal have only had 3 parts poorly completed. So I asked the teacher if we could hand it in that day after school, since we did it online. The teacher said sure, but before 11:59, which was the standard for due dates.
So I completed the rest after school, with deep thoughts and very specific planning, because I thought we actually had to do it, so I did the planning very specifically with extreme high quality, and put thoughts into every little detail. I turned the one paragraph my classmate sent me into a page of detailed description, did all the work for the other classmate, who got on at this point but didn't do much and was basically having google docs opened but doing other stuff.
I finished our 4 pager, and had to give both of them credit for doing the work as they "did" part of it. Also the teacher said that each group member must do one of the 4 parts, so I gave them credit to save our group marks.
Fast foward another few weeks, the teacher handed out our results and the plan got an overall rating of 97%. My group showed no appreciation whatsoever and I got cocky. I told them how I did everything for them and got them a 97%.
In return they told me "We don't care because we didn't ask you to do it for us" with a terrible attitude. In return I said "Yes because if I didn't do it my marks get affected as well and I wasn't gonna let you guys ruin my marks", but they just told me I was being a prick.
In Short: I did all the work and got my group a 97%, they didn't show any appreciation and told me I was a prick because I only did it for myself.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
LkbJBXR2JkvgQULnFyrf0xknlmcUHAJ8
|
ao3irw
|
{
"description": "thinking my boyfriend is still lying to me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for thinking my boyfriend is still lying to me?
|
My boyfriend and I began seeing eachother in the summer. I asserted to him that he was 'just sex' - I didn't want a relationship and would never be anything more. I would only be living in his city for two weeks, too, and made it clear I had no intention of seeing him after that.
Except I did and I made the six hour drive to see him and spend a week with him about once a month for the next three months.
We'd made it clear that we were one at a time people - essentially exclusively fucking. I told him that if he were to develop an interest in anybody else, to tell me and break it off.
We finally admitted it was probably a bit more than sex and we began dating about four/five months in in September/october, and we love eachother despite the difference.
However, I recently discovered that during the summer, while I was driving up to see him, he took another girl home after a party and she spent the night. She left hours before I arrived. They didn't have sex in the end but he admits that that was his intention. This was at the end of July.
He didn't tell me this, despite me asking throughout our relationship if there had been anybody else. He deleted the messages with this girl before I could ever read them but he swears he only sent her one and then ghosted her.
Granted, we weren't together. And I was adamant that he was just a shag at the time which probably didn't make him feel too good about himself. But I was driving the six hour journey to see him...
When this came out I also discovered he used to have a sexual relationship with a close friend of his, despite assuring me he had never slept with any of his friends (I have - and he knows exactly who it was and what went down). He assures me nothing has happened with her in the time he's known me, despite keeping this from me. It turns out they've met up a few times, alone and with other friends. Again, he's deleted the messages with this girl so I have no evidence of anything happening but I'm suspicious because the messages have been deleted and he lied about who she was to him.
I am incredibly insecure about all this and have lost a lot of trust in him. It generates many arguments between us. He thinks I should believe there's nothing more than he's told me, and draw a line under it all and live happy ever after. AITA for being unable to do this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
okm9GaLk1idSNKhnx1Rtb56FPzk19WIR
|
9yaibw
|
{
"description": "telling my gf off",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my gf off
|
Sorry for bad english!
This happened quite a while ago but i've always wondered if i was an ass.
I knew this girl who was a complete cunt. I can't tell you enough how much of a cunt she was. I talked about her a lot with my gf, about how horrible she was, about the death threats she'd give.
My gf told me after a while of complaining about her that she wanted to be her friend since everyone hated her. I told her 'please don't, you don't know what kind of things she has said' but she ignored me.
The awful girl was super nice around my gf, all the time. It was really weird. After about two weeks of being forced to be around the awful girl i had enough and didn't accept mt gfs invitations if i knew she'd be there.
That didn't work. I'm ashamed to admit i became really jealous and tried to show my gf what a lair that girl was. She had an excuse for everything on her behalf.
I told my gf that i didn't want her to be friends with that girl. She (understandably) told me that I couldn't decide her friends. She hung around that girl until she moved.
We broke up shortly after.
Anyway, was I the asshole? I know it happened like 7 months ago but i still wonder.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
iwouPK8qgF2SzwvAUUKyfGygPOmQd2OV
|
aj49ns
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my friend for not trusting me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my friend for not trusting me?
|
Well, to be fair, it's a little more complicated than the title implies. So I've been friends with this girl for some 3 years right, and we talk pretty much every day, about pretty much everything. There wasn't much I didn't know about her and vice versa.
Anyways, we're in a group chat with some mutual friends and one of them posts an online quiz sort of test. I thought it was pretty dumb, so I ignored it at first, but she egged me on to take it. Well, it wasn't that long, so I took the online test. She wanted to know my results, so I showed them to her. Then, I asked her what she had gotten on it. She said she kind of wasn't comfortable sharing that info with me. Now, I know I have an issue where I can sometimes be pushy about these sorts of things; I just like to know things. But on this occasion, I caught myself before I could get into it and just went with "understandable, have a nice day". Changed the subject and moved on.
Later on in the day, however, the online test got brought up in the group chat. Some of the others in the group chat wanted to know her results, and I expected her to get defensive about it again. Instead, she said, "I'm not really comfortable sharing that in group chat, but I'll pm you my results" to the two that were asking. One of them she'd known for maybe 6 months to a year.
Now, rationally I know she's not obligated to tell me anything, and if she felt like spilling her guts to every stranger she met and not me, she'd have every right to, but I still felt pretty upset about it. She sort of sensed I was mad and tried to talk to me about it, but I don't think she got the idea that it wasn't the fact that she wouldn't tell me, it's the fact that she wouldn't tell me, who I thought she was close to, but *would* tell someone else who she didn't know as well.
Am I the asshole for being upset about it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
fOgOBtBgeaGPCS9D39q7n4l7EiFLblmp
|
9td5dc
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend to go get me some milk after he drank it all",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend to go get me some milk after he drank it all?
|
Hello. I know this is a pretty mild one compared to the others but who better to ask than reddit.
Me and my boyfriend have been sharing food, since we live together for 1,5 year now. We always split the bill in 2 and we usually determine who's gonna shop for groceries by who is going to be near a shop that day. Well.. almost. I am usually the one who makes that effort, which takes time and time is important to me as a student, he usually just deflects that responsibility by "we don't need anything" or "I don't want to go today".
I am also the one who cooks the food and he usually cleans the dishes even though sometimes he complains that it takes longer to clean it.
Anyway, we went to a grocery store recently and we usually just split, I buy what I need for cooking and he buys snacks or if I tell him to get something he will. I asked him how much milk should I buy when he hits me with "I don't want milk". As I know he loves milk and eats it with cereal/ drinks it with chocolate sugar, I am confused by this but just proceed to buy one carton for myself.
That day I decide to have milk for dinner so I pour myself about 1/5 of the carton and have some cereal with it. The next day he asks me whether he can have some for his chocolate milk, I raise my eyebrows and comment something about him saying he doesn't want and tell him sure. That day was pretty full for me and I only got around coming home around 7pm and after only eating breakfast I was pretty hungry and wanted something quick to eat. So again I decide on milk and cereal. But of course there is no more milk.
I go to him ask him where it went he said he drank it, which irritated me cause he did not ask me if he could,I was hungry and he specifically said he doesn't want any, I mildly irritated said "then you will have to go and buy me some". We live in a dorm and there is a small shop here where you can buy some groceries and is just 11level away, and buying some milk takes literally max 7 minutes, but of course it's a bit more expensive.
He hits me with "maybe" and proceeds to play LoL and ignoring me. I get even more irritated, raise my voice and say "you better go buy that milk" and just let him play and wait until he finishes the game.
After waiting on him for 20 minutes I start calling for him "Boyfriend, go buy me that milk I am hungry. Hello? Boyfriend? Boyfriend? Hey?" cause of course he acts like he doesn't hear me now.
I throw my bra at him which catches his attention he puts down his speakers and he starts "maybe if you asked nicely".
Wow. Am I in the wrong for getting absolutely pissed off at this? I asked him whether he wants me to plead him to go buy me the milk he drank and said he doesn't want in the first place and after some deflections of his I get very angry and start yelling at him how lazy and selfish he's being. He said something about me always getting angry and never saying "please" and that he was "very close to going but after you acting like a bitch I am not".
I don't think I should be pleading him to go buy me something he took from me. If it was me drinking something of his I would go buy him a new thing without him even asking. Or should I have been nicer?
He always does something like this, that when he is in the wrong and I call him out he turns it around on me and I end up being the bad guy. Last week he wanted me to wear these high heel to go eat out with him, he knows I cannot walk in high heels, he knows my shins hurt when I walk in high heels for a while, he knows the shoes we got from aliexpress are too small for me and he still wanted me to walk in them for at least an hour in Prague(if you ever been to the city center you know what kind of walking areas are there in Prague), raining and cold outside. I told him I won't and that is a bad idea at which he said I promised I would wear them and completely turned the situation on me, despite him wanting me to be uncomfortable in order to get me to wear the shoes he likes (way too much).
Do I just have anger problems?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
cOGc1bUzVFFIEaayVmeez1QXshIqD6AS
|
alzvty
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to a vegetarian restaurant with my omni family",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting to go to a vegetarian restaurant with my omni family ?
|
Okay so for some background, with my family (parents + 2 brothers) we have this little traditions where we go to a restaurant once a month for family time. I'm a college student to i'm at home only for the week ends. My father strongly disagree with my vegetarian lifestyle and is generally controlling everything in our family. I want to add that i don't care if they eat meat, as long as they don't make stupid comments about what i eat.
Last saturday my mother said that we should go to a restaurant and that my father didn't care which one. I've heard about a great vegetarian one and as i never been at a full veg one I said that we could try this one. When my father heard that, he went full "how could you force us to not eat meat", "i want to be able to eat meat if i want to" etc...
I was and still is really mad at him because we always eat in restaurant that says "vegetarians welcome" but mostly it means they only have one option that doesn't contain meat or fish.
So am I the asshole for that ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
btjYb3AFaOSPDNpIONfVS7GpcLep58DL
|
anhr7o
|
{
"description": "ghosting my friend of over 2 years",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ghosting my friend of over 2 years?
|
I (24/M) became friends with someone new to my city a few years ago, for the sake of privacy let's call him John (24/M). We got along great at first. We had a lot of similar interests... we both liked film and comedy stuff, so we started hanging out a lot and things were a lot of fun.
​
But about a year or so ago, things started to change. Every time, I hung out with him he was angry at something and all he did was complain. When I would show up at his apartment, he wouldn't even say hello it was straight into "Ugh, work is so boring... my family is shitty.. my neighbors are annoying. etc etc".
​
At first, I just figured he was dealing with some personal stuff (he had come out to me a couple months before his anger issues became clear to me), but now over a year later, he's just as angry, despite things being better with his family (they are very Catholic and were not very accepting of his lifestyle, but things have improved. they're not perfect... but they're better).
​
The first time I noticed his anger is when he asked me to help him set up a website for his short films. I said okay, and drove over an hour to his place. After 15 minutes of showing him what he would need to set up a website (domain name, hosting provider etc.) he said "Fuck you, I'm not paying for any of that shit. You're probably getting a commission on this!" Then he stormed into his living room and started playing Call of Duty. It was really strange. I offered up my time to help him and then he accuses me of trying to get money out of him? And I didn't feel like I had to put up with it, so I left and drove to my GF's place who lived about 15 minutes away.
​
The second time I noticed his anger was when he hosted a poker night. It was me, him, one of our mutual friends and a couple friends of mine that he'd never met before. Things were fine at first. I brought a 6-pack of beer for us to drink during the poker game, but after one sip he went "Ugh! This tastes like shit. You're banned from bringing shit into my apartment. You have the worst fucking taste, I don't know how you guys are drinking this piss." Really fucking rude, right?
Anyways, I'm humiliated, not by what he's said to me, but how he's acting in front of my friends that I had invited... But anyways, the game continues. And my god, what a miserable game it was. The whole time he accused us of cheating. He accused me of stacking the deck in my favor, he accused me and my friend of swapping cards mid-game, he freaked out whenever anyone put their hands below the table where he couldn't see them.... and the strange thing was this is how he acts when he's WINNING.
So the poker night ends. Me and my friends leave and I apologize for my friend being such an asshole.
​
Occurrences like this started happening more and more often to the point where I didn't really hang out with him much. Maybe once every month to two months. And I would never hang out with him alone because that's when he gets really irritable and angry for some reason (?), I would only hang out with him if another friend was there.
​
But two nights ago he had a board game night. (It was my first time seeing him in about 3 months.) Some of our old work friends were going to be there so I was actually excited. Until I got there and he said, "Looks like you're the only one coming". I was pretty irritated, but fuck it - maybe he's gotten better?
​
He asks about my GF and I tell him that she got a new job working as a Paraeducator. (someone who works alongside a child with special needs in a general ed classroom) I tell him the kid she's been assigned to is so sad. He's high functioning autistic which means he's pretty aware he's different, he'll say things to her like "Can you not sit next to me today so I can look normal like the other kids?" and he goes "Oh I know what that feels like... when I as a kid I got put in a class for kids who the teachers thought needed extra help and I had to beg my mom to get me out of that class." When he says this he suddenly makes more sense to me.... my asshole friend is autistic.
​
The beginning of the night was pretty fun actually. We went to a bar, had some beers and told me about some new guy he's been dating. (He tells me things are going well and that this guy is from Spain and doesn't speak English that well. Another strange thing about him is that this is the 2nd guy in the past year he's dated who doesn't speak english very well... my theory is that these people stick around because they literally can't understand that he's an asshole.) I go to the bathroom and when I come back he tells me he's paid for our drinks ($10 total) and that one of our work friends is on their way. I offer to pay for my drink, but he says "No, it's cool! You just wanna get the pizza?" Sounds fair. I agree.
​
We get to the pizza place which is on the way back to his house. He orders it and then when the woman at the counter says the price ($30) he turns to me. "Uh, we're splitting this... I didn't know you were gonna order a $30 pizza." "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE AGREED TO THE DEAL THEN! HA!" I want to punch him in his dumb fucking face, but at this point I've decided fuck it... let it go. He's causing a scene in the pizza place and I don't wanna put up with this shit anymore. I'm never hanging out with this fucker ever again. So I pay.
​
We get back to his house and I go to the bathroom again. I come out and I'm not even joking he's eaten an entire half of the pizza while I'm in the bathroom. And when our work friend arrives he offers him a slice from my half... god, I'm getting so angry at this point in the night.
​
We start playing Catan. It's going alright, except he constantly accuses us of cheating. Everytime we go to trade resources or build a settlement he has to count our cards and double check everything. It's infuriating. But when it gets to his turn, the cards fly, we can't tell what he's doing and somehow he's built 2 settlements in one turn. It's very suspicious and definitely looks like cheating. Our work friend keeps looking at me and making a weird face. I'm glad to have someone there to be on my side and see this shit.
​
So we finish the game, he wins, and of course starts gloating. We don't care. Me and our old work friend are talking and catching up... we talk work, movies, etc - then suddenly "ALRIGHT - You guys look tired, you should probably get going home before it gets too late" We get up to leave. But we keep talking. We're just standing now and my asshole friend, for this entire conversation is just staring at his phone and sighing, huffing and puffing. Our work friend says "Alright, I guess we should take John's obvious hint to leave." He denies that he's giving us hints to leave, but We put on our jackets and head out the door anyways.
​
It was a deeply unpleasant night. I realized the only reason I've been his friend is out of pity. I'm pretty sure I'm his only friend in the city. But fuck him. He's a mean, self-centered asshole. And I know he lives his life thinking people avoid him because he's gay, but he will never realize it's just because he's a piece of shit. I don't care that he's gay or autistic, the way he treats people is unacceptable and I've decided to never talk to him again. his "friendship" is not worth the time or the effort. I shouldn't feel bad about myself or uncomfortable every time I hang out with him. I hope his loneliness drives him out of this city.
​
So, reddit... who's the asshole? Me or him?
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ga7NJ1pSVkXB13L9ye2Uv2rSMtLqE47N
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ad6u3k
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"description": "trying to stop my brothers friends YouTube career from maybe ruining my brothers life",
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|
AITA for trying to stop my brothers friends YouTube career from maybe ruining my brothers life
|
Ok a little back story,
My brothers friend is borderline stupid, he is a true idiot, he says stupid stuff and is just acts like a retard all the time
And he wants to make a YouTube for Fortnite
I told him that he is going to make a huge fool out of himself and that the shitty unedited hour Fortnite live-streams we wants to make are going to haunt him forever because they can’t get deleted, and you just can’t reason with him because he’s fucking stupid
I want a way to delete them after he makes them because he is going to fuck up my brothers life as well, because my brother says stupid stuff well playing.
I don’t care about his friend, but my brother has said some pretty fucked up things well playing, and his friend is just going to upload them uncut.
Am I the asshole for wanting to delete my brothers friends channel over the cost of screwing up his life and my brothers.
If he was able to get rid of my brother from the stupid videos this would be fine, if he wants to upload Fortnite live-streams in full, I am not stopping him, but he is going to get my brother involved and it is going to be bad for the both of them.
|
HISTORICAL
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Vy48BwwMBjs4n97h7amoO4bXvDAt3fK7
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ax4qln
|
{
"description": "wanting the bride or maid of honor to compensate me for shoes my friend forgot behind, which the bride agreed to hold on to, but subsequently lost",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA I want the bride or maid of honor to compensate me for shoes my friend forgot behind, which the bride agreed to hold on to, but subsequently lost.
|
I let my friend borrow my shoes for a bridal shower event that happened during Summer 2018. The event was very out of the way, and my friend worked the next day, so she wasn't going to go. She agreed to go bc the bride pleaded for her to go, and the maid of honor agreed to give her a ride back home to facilitate everything.
At the event, my friend's feet hurt after wearing the shoes, so she changed into slippers and left the shoes in the trunk of the maid of honor's car. The maid of honor scored a Tinder date that same night so she told my friend that she couldn't drive her home anymore. This news was very upsetting for my friend; in the midst of trying to find another ride, she forgot to get the shoes out of the maid of honor's trunk. She asked the bride for advice and the bride just said "she always does that, just stay!" My friend ended up paying a bunch for a cab ride home.
After that night, she asked the maid of honor for the shoes multiple times in the span of 2 months. She even told them they didn't belong to her and that I was asking for them. The maid of honor got offended that my friend kept asking and claimed she was just busy and stressed. Instead of giving them to my friend, she gave them to the bride. The bride agreed to hold on to them, but when my friend asked her for them the bride couldn't find them. Then all was forgotten.
I told my friend that they are very inconsiderate of her time and ppl's things. I told her I want to ask them for my shoes/a replacement/or compensation for them directly. She tried to talk me out of it because "they're just shoes" and because the bride will get mad at her bc since she already asked her. That didn't feel right to me. But I left it alone.
Recently, after the wedding, my friend occasionally complains about the fakeness of the bride. She still hangs out and talks to the bride because theyre still coworkers. I took this as an opportunity to revisit the events of the night the shoes were left in the trunk. My friend offered to pay me for them to "squash the whole thing" and refused to talk about it bc "it's in the past".
I told my friend I am angry at her and really disappointed. I told her I want them to take responsibility by admitting they were inconsiderate and by finding/compensating for the shoes. I don't want my friend to pay me. That was my original point.
The more we spoke about it the more I felt she's scared of the bride's reactions. She says there's no need to say those things because she and the bride are just acquaintences. She wants to avoid "unnecessary drama" because she knows the bride won't take my perspective lightly. I hate that she'd rather keep non-friends appeased, than to let me rightfully and politely ask for my things or stand up for her and myself. I feel like my friend cares more about the reputation she has with the bride, than her thoughts and feelings towards her. It also affects me too, and she doesn't care (relatively speaking).
Am I the asshole?
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RIGHT
|
S9NUSyIkV39RAbR91F5UnwrLSsY056og
|
azzdeo
|
{
"description": "not immediately helping my mom",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not immediately helping my mom
|
Little bit of background: My little brother had problems with his bike. [It was this kind of bike](https://static.webshopapp.com/shops/164735/files/126658685/450x450x2/kerri-zwart-fietskrat.jpg). The krate in the front was loose, so my mother (who is one of the most helpful people I know) tried to fix the krate. She was working on the krate in the living room (don't ask, it is common with us) and she was having problems with it. We (me and my sister) were nearby on the couches so we saw she was having trouble, but we didn't act because we were watching YouTube videos on our ipads with headphones. So my mother asked to help her. We didn't hear her. Then she asked again. I can imagine that she was very irritated right now, but then she began screaming in the loudest voice I have ever heard against us to help. At this moment we noticed her and put our headphones away, but I kept my ipad in my hand. When we ask with what we had to help, she just screamed that we should come over to her. I asked her to calm down, but she continued screaming that we should come over to her. She kept screaming and screaming that we should help her and my sister began to cry. I began screaming too, saying that she made my sister cry and that she should stop screaming, but she continued screaming and also began complaining that I still haven't put my IPad away (extra context: I use my Phone and laptop a lot, almost to the point of an addiction). After a half a minute of screaming we finally began helping her. We were argueing over what just happened, but this time with less louder voices. After we were done, me and my sister went straight to our rooms because we were both mad and angry that she screamed at us.
So I am confused. Were we the assholes to not immediately help her? Was she the asshole for screaming at us? Or were we both in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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E1zdeXzT1NCeLCi9FQEKBFwDvxgDIrGo
|
ap0boa
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to eat sugar and fidgeting my leg",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to eat sugar and fidgeting my leg?
|
My girlfriend [f/26] and I [m/26] have been together 4 years. I'll refer to myself as me, and her as gf.
For some context: a few hours prior to this gf had a headache and decided to eat a cupcake(stay with me lol). A couple minutes later, she said "I am definitely addicted to sugar my headache is completely gone"
Now on to the main story - We were sitting in "my" room (home office with my desk, PC, and a squat rack/weight bench)
I was sitting in my computer chair and she was sitting on my weight bench. I was fidgeting my legs (which I do pretty frequently, I'm not exactly sure why but I think it has to do with ADHD in some way because it usually is the worst if I forget my medication or late at night when its aleady worn off.)
GF: stop fidgeting your legs it's annoying me
Me: you stretch out your legs and fidget them when they cramp and I understand it and it doesn't bother me (she sometimes even has me leave the bed so she can stretch out fully, she has bad leg cramps at night or on long drives etc and I'm understanding) how is this effecting you
GF: you're shaking the whole room and you're giving me a headache
Me: (intending to be joking but i guess it missed..) I don't know if it's my legs giving you a headache maybe you need more sugar
At this point is when she gets mad.
GF: wow that was mean. I was just trying to tell you to stop and you get defensive and be malicious
Me: what i wasnt being malicious I was just trying to say how you fidget and I understand how is that being malicious
GF: it's not the same at all you are just trying to turn it around on me when I bring up something to tell you not to do it you just are trying to tell me something I do wrong so it's okay
At this point she leaves the room and gets in the shower, I walk out with her -
Me: that's not what I'm trying to do at all I wasnt being malicious I was just trying to say I understand when you fidget why cant you understand when I do
GF: no that's not the same at all I do it because my legs hurt you just do it because of habit or fidgeting or anxiety or something
Me: are you fucking serious so just because it doesn't make you feel better I'm just doing it for no reason?
At this point I leave the room and go back to my room. When she gets out of the shower she comes and talks to me
GF: I dont like that I tell you something and open up to you and you just throw it in my face to be mean and try to hurt me.
Me: what? I wasnt trying to hurt you at all. I wasnt being malicious I was just trying to point out that you fidget your legs too and I understand so I don't get why its such a big problem I do.
GF: no about the sugar you just threw that in my face to hurt me
Me: i was just joking about the sugar because of what you said earlier I wasnt trying to hurt you it was just a joke but I'm sorry I promise that wasnt my intention to try and hurt you with that it was just a joke.
GF: no it wasnt just a joke you were mad at me for criticizing you and you got defensive and were malicious to try and hurt me
Me: no, I was not being malicious and you are not going to get me to say I was. I take responsibility for making a joke at the wrong time but you have to take some responsibility and accept it was just a joke and not malicious
GF: no you were being malicious and trying to hurt me why else would you say that you weren't joking I saw your smirk when you said it you were trying to hurt me
Me: yeah that smirk was me thinking I was telling a stupid fucking joke I'll apologize for what I did do and that's tell a badly timed joke but I'm not going to apologize for being malicious because I'm telling you I wasnt being malicious I just made a bad joke
GF: and I'm telling you that you were being malicious you weren't just joking you were being mean
Me: are you seriously trying to tell me how I meant something I wasn't being fucking malicious I'm not a fucking bad person I'm not naturally mean so stop fucking projecting that on to me like I am (shes said multiple times in the past that she believes people are inherently mean and have to try to be nice. I dont believe this personally and I've told her that whenever it comes up, usually in the aftermath of something like this where she gets her feelings hurt(whether it be by me or someone at work) and I talk with her through it)
This I'm not being malicious yes you are loop repeats a few times until she tells me to leave her alone, and this brings us to the current, me typing this in the parking lot of mcdonalds.
I really don't understand how the fuck this got to this. Was I a huge malicious asshole? I feel like this happens a lot where she takes something I say in literally the worst possible way and it ends in a fight that ends up wasting the rest of our night. I dont know if I'm the asshole here and would like opinions.
Sorry for the length.
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OExUapSbVmefxp3WPvIgjirnFHFS7oOJ
|
adewdw
|
{
"description": "not talking to my grandma",
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|
AITA for not talking to my grandma?
|
So I haven’t talked to my grandma since last Father’s Day. I’m not used to writing long post so I’m sorry if this reads bad. So last Father’s Day I visited my grandparents with my mom because we hadn’t talked for a while. My step dad stayed at home to talk with his mom and son. So we were talking about how my some of my sisters didn’t call and they should at least say something to him. Then my grandma said it was wrong of me to not call my father because I hadn’t seen him in 6 years because he decided that he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Also because my grandma talks to my fathers parents they lie about my mother and tell her how “horrible” she is and that it’s her fault we moved away and that I’m the reason my father didn’t love me and didn’t want to see me.
Long story short AITA for not talking to my grandma because she made me feel guilty?
|
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JDLB0oGurL9BUhXdxt5m0BSvBCF9O4Dz
|
9xwabq
|
{
"description": "cancelling our planned vacation beacause my wife doesn't want to use a car seat for our 3yo daughter",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cancelling our planned vacation beacause my wife doesn't want to use a car seat for our 3yo daughter?
|
So basically, we have a 4day road trip (I, wife and 3yo daughter). Original plan was to commute but taking into account the cost and comfort of travel, we decided to take our car. We were planning the itinerary when we started discussing about buying an inflatable car bed and somehow it turned into a debate wether to bring the carseat or not which is a no-brainer IMO.
As far as i know, it's not illegal in our country(philippines) to have your child seated at the back with only a seatbelt on. She says she can't sleep in the backseat if we were to use the carseat. I argued that she would take our daughter's safety for granted and trade it for a nap. Argument goes on a while and I told her it's either our daughter seats on a carseat during the trip or no trip at all. AITA?
Emphasis that here in the Phil., we are no bound by law to use a carseat and it is not what we people are not generally accustomed to, though it is frowned upon by some.
|
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RIGHT
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9up3oFy2E4sjdJeZcY2XBEhNRIH5HNpg
|
ag3ati
|
{
"description": "dumping my high school girlfriend for wanting children and being suicidal, immediately after spending a week with her at a theme park",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for dumping my high school girlfriend for wanting children and being suicidal, immediately after spending a week with her at a theme park?
|
This happened a while ago and I’ve honestly moved on, but I was recently made aware that the woman in question has not, so I’d like to ask.
I took a girl to homecoming my freshman year of high school, let’s call her Nancy. There had been some weird, maybe sexual but probably just teen awkward dynamic between us for at least three grades prior, so after giving her a smooch at homecoming I asked her out a week later. We were fine for about three months after this.
Eventually I noticed some cuts all along her wrists going vertically and I asked. She initially said they were from her rabbits (she’s an odd mix of computer nerd and farm girl) and I accepted that because I was dumb and didn’t want to confront it.
Later on a date at her house, and I forget exactly what circumstances led to this, but I found a notebook in which she had written about how I was her only reason for living and how if not for me she would’ve killed herself, how she wanted to bear my children, etc. I was obviously spooked.
Now it was April and we had a band trip to a big theme park for about a week coming up. Nancy and I were in the same chaperone group. I asked my mom about what to do and she basically told me that Nancy needed some space to calm down and not worship me, but it was up to me to tell her before or after the trip. Instead of going with before and making the entire week awkward for all 10 people in our group, I decided to play nice and tell her afterwards.
Which I did, except she was desperate to hold my hand and do as much rubbing on me as was concealable in public. Her friend kept telling me to kiss Nancy more because she wanted me to and basically forcing us together all trip. Whatever, I enjoyed myself and I intentionally didn’t let up that anything was wrong.
So on the bus trip home (18+ hours on coaches) we ended up in a pictochat (classy, I know). She told me to join a private room and then basically told me she loved me, something I had yet to say to her for obvious reasons. I immediately pretended as hard as I could that she did not exist to avoid making anything worse.
Once we were home I typed up an email (and if using email makes me the asshole I’ll accept that) saying that I didn’t want to stop being friends, but that she needed a kind of help I couldn’t provide and that we oughtta take a nice long break from the romance. She responded saying she wanted no more to do with me and apparently got a counselor, so I was fine with her decision.
She then either ignored me or pulled a bunch of petty stuff on me for the next three years (and then going to the same college as me) which is really another story entirely and irrelevant for now. AITA for leaving her?
|
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jXedXoJuVGpyswMlQRUeAcsuw8KzdYTG
|
ar1sm1
|
{
"description": "not wanting to include another department in my shift's food day",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to include another department in my shift's food day?
|
My coworker (A) and I decided to sponsor a salad day. At first, A only wanted to include 1st shift (our shift) but I said that we should include 2nd shift as well, since some of them are also participating in our Biggest Loser challenge. I said it would be a great way to bring everyone together, and since the two of us were helping it wouldn’t be as hard to keep track of everyone.
A agreed and we made lots of flyers that explained the cost ($4.00) and the times we’d have the salad bar open (11am-2pm.) These things were clearly stated and in addition everyone that participated was emailed a copy of the flyer.
We set everything up and left it out until just after 3pm, essentially giving everyone an extra hour to get a plate. Announcements were made throughout all departments around 11am to say it was open, and at 1pm to say if you wanted seconds you were free to go around again. (At this point ALL departments involved had already arrived and had been at their desks for at least 1 hour.) At 4pm, coworker “J” emailed me asking if she and 3 other people were able to get salads. Turns out, those 4 people hadn’t gotten even 1 salad. I told her the leftovers were in the fridge if she wanted to help herself. Cue attitude, complaining that if they had known they weren’t going to have salads at that time, they wouldn’t have participated.
Apparently sometime last night, someone went into the fridge, took lettuce, and didn’t properly wrap it back up so it all went bad. We had to throw away an entire tray of lettuce. My manager found out about the lettuce, went to all of the departments, and said there were leftovers but no lettuce b/c it wasn’t properly wrapped up overnight. That was it, no accusations, nobody was singled out. (It could have been anyone; we have had issues in the past about random people going to the fridge and taking food that wasn’t theirs.) Manager said everyone was now welcome to get some of what else was left.
J emails me saying that it wasn’t her that didn’t wrap up the lettuce incorrectly and that she “just wanted to make that clear.” I’m honestly clueless b/c I had no idea what even happened about the lettuce going bad overnight. I forwarded my manager the email and said that I no longer wanted to help run anything like this again unless her department is no longer included; making this event a 1st shift only thing. (Before you ask, this is not against the rules so long as the company does not give us any money toward it.) Manager proceeds to give me the biggest guilt trip ever, saying that is not right, etc. I did not respond to J at all.
So, AITA for apparently not holding everyone’s hand and making sure they all got a salad between the specified hours? AITA for wanting to make this a 1st shift only thing going forward? (And would I *be* an asshole for telling 2nd shift they were not invited to next month’s salad day due to unforeseen issues this month?)
|
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RIGHT
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C65LXGWVL8CENBd9KLS11emVYOBnPrhr
|
ah58y5
|
{
"description": "asking my mom if I'm allowed to get into flipping as a hobby",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my mom if I'm allowed to get into flipping as a hobby?
|
My Granddad (mom's dad) died recently. The funeral was very stressful for my mom because her family was being weird and didn't want to chip in and help.
Before this my parents separated and are currently in the process of getting divorced. My dad isn't helping much at all in terms of money.
My mom is a great mom and has always been there for me but we still argue sometimes.
I have no friends at school. I've never had a
hobby.
Today I asked my mom if I could get into some basic flipping over the summer as a hobby. I don't mean serious flipping, I'm not a professional and serious flippers have to dedicate a lot of time to it. I mean more like drive by the thrift shop, find something, sell it on ebay for a higher price, that's it. I don't expect to get rich quick or anything. I told her this.
She said no because I won't have time and no one can drive me.
I asked if I found someone to drive me would I be allowed. She still said no.
I got mad and told her that doesn't make sense and then she got mad and started going off on me about how I'm ungrateful and she can't believe I would even ask her this right now.
Then my sister came out and told us to stop arguing. I was sent to my room to chill out.
If you have any advice I'd appreciate it.
|
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RIGHT
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2HiNBN4RY6N3nCSp5u2lXllqd4yJsPLq
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b2993p
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{
"description": "wanting to relax on weekends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For wanting to relax on weekends
|
My boyfriend and I host dnd for our friends and he wants to start doing sessions every weekend, yesterday we talked and I told him I’d want to limit it to 3 hours including any hang out time so I still have time to relax and do chores over the future weekends. He agreed and everything was good until today, our fist session, when suddenly he wasn’t okay with it anymore and resented me for being controlling.
He asked well what if the guys want to hang out after? And I was against this saying 3hours every week is enough time, I was frustrated because we already agreed about this yesterday. He said well you don’t have to be there and I said I’d feel awkward if they hung out after and I had to go hide in the bedroom until they left, and make awkward uncomfortable speed runs to the kitchen to avoid talking (in order to get alone time). He said he’s frustrated that he doesn’t get to hang out with his friends because I have a hard time being alone, which I got really upset about, I feel that’s very untrue. Now he’s saying I’m being selfish, and having a double standard because I ask him to say a quick hi when my friends come over to be friendly, note - this happened once, I didn’t ask him to hang out with my friends when they come over, and this was something he said he was uncomfortable with.
So am I the asshole for keeping him from hanging out his friends because I want as much time as I can get to relax freely in the weekends?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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OcEPScMWUecFKbIYA5BpOS9SPI1S8oht
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a1edbd
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{
"description": "acting cold to a person I recently discovered was involved in a hit and run",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA for acting cold to a person I recently discovered was involved in a hit and run?
|
Hi everyone,
This is about I guy who’s been my counselor at a summer music camp for two years now (I’m in high school). He also helps coach band kids during the school year sometimes. I’ve always considered him super friendly and cool, just seemed kind of day-dreamy and mellow occasionally. The other counselors sometimes joked that he was high all the time.
One night I decided to google him to see if there were any videos of him playing trombone in a concert. To my shock, the first results that popped up detailed a hit-and-run incident that resulted in one death and a conviction.
The details are pretty horrifying, so I won’t go too much into them: according to witnesses, he hit an elderly man crossing the street, didn’t stop or even slow down, and was later arrested after hitting a tree seemingly in an attempt to cover up the dent mark. Apparently he was intoxicated when this happened.
It’s taken me a while to process this. We got pretty close this past summer, playing card games and joking around during camp. He’s been nothing but incredibly kind to everyone around him, so seeing his smiling mugshot right after such an awful incident was just painful. I know I’ll run into him sometime in the future, either at school or at the local music store, and I don’t know exactly how I’d react to seeing him again.
On one hand, I think this is a very serious crime made much worse by him trying to cover up his actions instead of calling an ambulance or the police. It was a severe blow to the level of respect I had for him.
On the other, he’s already gone through the court system and whatever legal reprimand he received. And he hasn’t done anything to me personally- it’s not like he hit one of my relatives with his car.
I don’t want to make him trying to fix his life any harder than it already is. But I also think this crime shows a huge character flaw and I think I would be a little afraid to be around him. WIBTA for acting distant or just cordial if/when I see him again?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
|
0gYFI2XUJg2KqGpioG0j6z54ditjKaML
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b51ks9
|
{
"description": "not wanting girls to waste my time",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not wanting girls to waste my time?
|
Hey there, M18 here. I'm new to reddit so bear with me. Im a guy that values his time a fair bit. I don't like wasting it on people and bullshit in general, especially dating. I'm not in it to "be friends", because anytime that bullshit happens, you know i'm gonna bail and kick them out of my life. So i'm open with the fact that I dont want to be "jUsT fRiEnDs". Im gonna sound like an asshole, but my time is valuable to waste on that shit,
I already have great friends, i'm. looking to date/fuck, not looking for a gaming buddy. it's not gender based either, i have lady friends that are normal buddies that i dont find attractive, i just wont waste my time playing some stupid game with girls i AM attracted to.
My sisters caught wind of my way of thinking and both messaged me telling me im being selfish and sexist, and that i'm "being an asshole to girls", because i wont waste my time if they don't wanna date. i think of it as self preservation, just looking out for me. as i said, no point in wasting time, i have enough friends
AITA for thinking like this? its just that if i'm interested in someone, and it goes to shit, i'm not interested in pissing away time being fRiEnDs
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
633xzO3F8QyOqyvRskGHcrK3LPxeKOac
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ao6zs2
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{
"description": "wanting to stay home to do my homework than go to a Valentines dance with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting to stay home to do my homework than go to a Valentines dance with my girlfriend?
|
My gf and I have been dating for about a year and a half, and everything is great so far. However, she would like me to drive home with her (3-4 hour drive) for the weekend for a dance. I have school, and an internship during the week and weekends are the only time I get to do my homework and relax. She said I'm being selfish for not wanting to go to the dance with her because it means a lot to her. We would be gone the entire weekend from Friday afternoon until we leave Sunday morning leaving me to figure out how to get my lab turned in by Saturday night (I can bring my laptop and turn it in), and finish my other assignments by Sunday night.
​
To be fair, I've pretty distant with work and school so time spent together means a lot to her.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Uc19oTGkjuE0jmDPq5Mz36AFz74GHyi9
|
amdrm0
|
{
"description": "being annoyed when my mother tried to buy my friend's present for me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being annoyed when my mother tried to buy my friend's present for me?
|
I know I'm probably sounding a bit ungrateful right now. Being annoyed that someone tried to do something for me. But please let me explain. This happened this last Christmas, but it's been bugging me a bit so I feel I have to ask.
 
I was out shopping with my mother, both of us trying to get some Christmas shopping done. We'd spent most of the day looking through stuff together, but then we split up for a short while. We were in a big shopping center, and both of us wanted to take a look in different stores. So we split up for a bit. When we met up again, she began showing me some of the things she had bought.
And then she handed me something, telling me that I no longer had to worry about buying a present for a friend of mine. I was confused at first. But then she explained that she saw this thing, and thought it was something my friend would like. So she bought it, telling me to give it to him for Christmas. Marked as being from me. She bought my Christmas gift to my friend, for me.
 
I wasn't too thrilled about this. Partly because I put a lot of thought into the gifts I buy, and it felt weird that I didn't pick this one out myself. But mostly, because it felt...wrong? A gift is something you give to someone to show you care. That's the whole point of Christmas. You have someone close to you, so you give them something to show you appreciate them. I just felt that giving my friend a gift that *my mother* bought was a bit...insincere. It wouldn't have been from me.
 
Not only that, but I am a grown adult. I understand that a mother bear still feels the need to mother, even when the cubs are all grown up. But I'm capable of picking out and paying for gifts myself. I wasn't shopping with her that day because I *needed* to, but because I *wanted* to. It was meant to be a fun shopping trip to spend time together and stuff. I didn't in any way expect her to buy anything for me. And it seems a little weird at my age to be handing out Christmas presents that my mother picked out. Especially since it was for one of my friends, not a family member or anything. Plus, I enjoy the gift-shopping process. It makes me happy when I find something I just know will make someone else happy.
 
And to add to that, we were both in the same building at the time. Different stores, yes. But both stores are located in the same main building. We weren't that far from each other, and it wasn't anywhere near close to closing time. Plus, we both had our phones with us. She made no attempt to call, text, or even just come find me before just going ahead and buying it. Didn't run it buy me, or ask if she should get it. No communication whatsoever.
 
So taking all of the above into account, I was slightly annoyed when she handed me this thing. Not angry or anything. Just mildly irritated. But I wasn't going to say anything at first. I said thanks, even. And was just gonna roll with it, because I knew she was just trying to be helpful. But it must have shown on my face that I wasn't all that enthusiastic about it, because she asked what was wrong. I didn't want to go into detail on every reason I didn't like it, though. I didn't want an argument, so I just tried to casually say something along the lines of "oh, I was just hoping to pick something out myself, that's all. But this is fine! I think he'll like it".
 
But she wouldn't drop it. She asked why I wanted to pick it out myself. I was treading carefully at this point. I love my mother, but she has a heck of a temper. I could sense she was getting annoyed, and I just wanted to let it go. But she kept asking *why* I wasn't happy she'd done that. I was trying to word my responses carefully, but made the mistake of saying it was the "principle" of it. He's my friend, so I should buy his present. And. She. *Exploded.*
 
That set her off yelling at me. " *Principle?!* What principle? There's no *principle* about it! Does it matter who bought it? He won't know you didn't pick it!" Yelling all sorts of things about how I was ungrateful, and should just have accepted the help. And I get where she's coming from. She was only trying to help. I get it, and I am grateful that she does try and help me. But I feel that this particular occasion, she overstepped a little. I was right there in the same building. It wouldn't have been hard to ask me first.
And also I was only mildly irritated, at best. I feel she overreacted by yelling like that when I tried to explain why I felt that way. Not to mention, I didn't even say anything until she asked. But at the same time, she was just trying to help. And now I feel like I'm in the wrong for not appreciating it as much as I should.
 
This incident ruined what was a perfectly good outing at first, but we're both over it by now. She ended up keeping the gift and giving it to someone she knew, while I got to pick out a new gift myself. We've all moved on. But it still bugs me sometimes. So what do you guys think? Am I right to be annoyed she did that without asking me? Or am I just ungrateful for not appreciating the help? AITA here?
 
 
TL:DR-- My mother bought something for me to give to my friend as a Christmas present from myself (without asking me first). She then got angry that I would rather pick something out myself.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
6XOIGKpaGr2qu4SeBKLwQZfEDzzODI7W
|
aomkbg
|
{
"description": "being a picky eater",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because i'm a picky eater
|
AITA... People tend to be more understanding now, I guess the fact we are adults and I have explained makes it easier.
I'm (27f) a terrible eater, always have been, over the years I came up with tactics to not be a dick about things e.g. if someone else's food smell (like fish) bothered mein the office, make a coffee and if it caused me to feel sick hold the coffee under my nose and sip slowly.
I have told friends not to invite me over to dinner because I know I am a nightmare. I've seen a lot of posts here about picky eaters. I just hope that by saying to people its probably easier they don't cater for me I'm not the AH. Its hard because I'm in a relationship with someone, but I warned him I was like this and have tried to be fairer (still pretty bad)
So just want some thoughts on this.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
hClLdpkMHYY6qS6NwZXDPdDOVOIsxLU4
|
axhkas
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my roommate for wanting to live with someone else",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my roommate for wanting to live with someone else?
|
So, I am currently a freshman in college and I'm living in a dorm. I get along well with my roommate and I consider her one a friend, one of my only friends at school. My roommate has many other friends but she's always talking about how happy she is that I am her roommate.
We started talking about living plans for next year, and we both agreed that we wanted to live together next year in a student apartment. We found two other people to room with because the student apartments fit four and I was genuinely looking forward to it.
Today, my roommate came up to me and said she now doesn't want to room together anymore. I was upset because we were planning on living together next year for a while and she gave me no inclination that she didn't want to. I feel like now I need to scramble to make new living plans, especially since I don't have many friends here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
mELMWbh4qxa2prTBj7fa4b47evZLnEq6
|
au3tsf
|
{
"description": "struggling to maintain my sanity while playing a particular card game",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for struggling to maintain my sanity while playing a particular card game?
|
My girlfriend and I regularly visit her parents, and whenever we do, she insists we play a particular card game popular in their retirement community. The specifics are unimportant, but know the game takes about 3 hours to play and is very much based on luck.
Anyway, for whatever reason that I cannot explain, I get absolutely livid playing this game. I’m a very calm person who generally doesn’t mind losing, but there is something unexplainable about this game that makes my blood boil. Maybe it’s because I feel like it’s mostly just luck so the odds should favor everyone at one time or another, and yet I am on a losing streak that goes back several months.
I have tried very sensible things to counter my frustration while playing, including deep breathing and doodling calming pictures on the scorepad, such as flowers or animals. And yet, each and every time something triggers me and I get furious.
The thing is my girlfriend INSISTS on playing every time even though I have trouble dealing with the game. Her parents are just thrilled to spend time with us and couldn’t care less what game we play while we’re there. Yet my girlfriend likes to use the excuse that we must play because they want to.
AITA for 1) getting so upset over a game and 2) for thinking my girlfriend should compromise and not expect me to play this game every single time we visit her parents? I love her parents like they’re my own and I get along famously with them. But then I get embarrassed when I get frustrated over this game which ends up ruining the whole visit.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
1Xz9AVVHKakqg2V5Matxx8ha7FulnzBv
|
awui0x
|
{
"description": "not paying a former friend $15 back",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not paying a former friend $15 back?
|
Background: I'm a guy in 3rd year of college, met Annie since freshman year since our hometowns were very close to each other. She's had a boyfriend all 3 years and I never once hit on Annie. Over the past 2 years Annie complained to me and our other mutual guy friend in our group chat about some of her BF Jonathan's flaws. I shared one mutual class with Jonathan but we've definitely never been very close.
A few weeks earlier, I had a dinner party for my 21st birthday, and invited most of my friends (over 10 people), including Annie. Originally Annie asked me if Jonathan could come too, and I said no, because if I make an exception for a +1 for her, then everyone would bring a +1 and I didn't want the dinner to be too big. So Annie said that she wouldn't be coming then, and then me and my other guy friend basically called her out for ditching something that was planned far in advance (I made a FB private event 3 weeks before the actual dinner). 2 hours before the actual dinner she said she was coming and I thought that was the end of that. She verbally said she would spot the Uber/Lyft to make up for the inconvenience (bill was about $15 dollars)
After that incident we didn't really talk too much, but a few days ago I saw Annie and Jonathan on the street for the first time in a while and I smiled and said hello. They made eye contact with me and as if they rehearsed it they split up and walked around me from both sides. I was PISSED. The day after that incident Annie messaged me and was like "Sorry I was studying for a test how are you??", but I ignored that and just said "We're still friends but it's probably better that we talk less since this semester is busy for both of us". We said some more small talk but she never referred to when she ignored me on the street or apologized for her behavior.
Yesterday she asked me if I can pay her back for the Uber/Lyft, and I told her no since she said at the time that she would spot everyone. She said that she never said that and then some passive aggressive shit like "If you want to lose a friend over $15 then this is over". So I just ghosted her after that basically - am I in the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
mPx15Z0Zd71hFoKOW9AWRKuSIXqUIkaI
|
adz2bs
|
{
"description": "not driving to a friends house to give him back some items after a camping trip",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not driving to a friends house to give him back some items after a camping trip?
|
For some context:
We went on a camping trip. Me, the friend (let's call him G) and a few others. I have a Fiat Fiorino so I had pretty much everything on it, save for a few items that were in another car. G and another friend travelled by bike. G had to take a spare helmet, a big "bowl" to cook at night and one of the tents.
At the end of the trip, it dawned on me that G had no way to take his items back. The rest had to be dropped off at their house so everything was on the other car, except G's items and a few others which are irrelevant.
So he asks me that if I could do him a favor and drive to his house whenever I was free to deliver the items. I said I don't know, we'll see. His car isn't available but he did admit he could swing by with his company car. And I mean, I feel like I already did my part by using the truck to carry the luggage around. Nobody paid even a cent of the cost (gas) which I was fine with until this happened.
Here's the thing, he doesn't live very far. Must be like a 20-25 minute drive. This was 3 days ago and I still haven't gone hoping that he can just pass by. We didn't fight over it or anything, I just feel like I'm being a bit of a dick. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
nQPafbUujI5RG7jOM9NsTnlatZ7Y3JX4
|
adbedb
|
{
"description": "stopping letting my cousin use my Nintendo Switch",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I stopped letting my cousin use my Nintendo Switch?
|
I (16 year old guy) own a Nintendo Switch and recently bought the new Smash Bros game. My older cousin (24-26 year old guy) lives with me and my sisters in my mother’s house and does not own a Nintendo Switch. When I bought the new Smash Bros game I played it with my cousin a few times because I knew he liked Smash Bros and I used to play Smash Bros Melee with him whenever I went to his house when I was young.
Recently my cousin has been inviting his friends over to hang out and play Smash Bros on my Switch. I first found out when I went downstairs to the kitchen to get some food when I heard him playing Smash Bros on my Switch with his friends in the living room. He never asked for permission to play with my Switch, but I brushed it off because I was busy doing homework at the time and just went down to the kitchen for a snack. This happened again a few times and now he invites his friends to come over once or twice a week and they play on my Nintendo Switch. I never really minded it, but recently when I was playing on my Nintendo Switch I noticed that one of my controllers was acting weird. I found out that one of the joysticks got a bit messed up and realized it was probably from when my cousin’s friends were using it. I also sometimes want to play on my Nintendo Switch but find my cousin and his friends using it so I play games on my computer instead even though I wanted to play a game on my Nintendo Switch. I tried bringing my Nintendo Switch up to my room instead of leaving it in the living room, but when his friends come over he comes to my room and asks if he can use it. I say yes when he asks because I am not using it whenever he asks and would feel guilty if I didn’t let him use it. I also don’t like being mean and don’t really like confrontation and would rather not hear “Why” if I say no.
My cousin is a kinda nice guy. He has bought me lunch/dinner a few times after, but we don’t interact much because his room is in the basement while mine is upstairs. Whenever I am out of my room he is usually out of the house working or doing something.
I feel like I would be a dick if I stopped letting him use it, but I own that system and bought it with my own money. Why should I have to stand aside like a little bitch whenever he wants to play on it with his friends? He hasn’t even offered to let me join while he plays with his friends. Meanwhile I let him join while I was playing Mario Kart online with a friend just yesterday. I had to play split screen so this fuck could get 8th place.
Would I be the asshole if I told him that he can’t use my Nintendo Switch anymore?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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RIGHT
|
tjQRL1EiyAuQ03nHMepPGE2ituri8ALS
|
a8ck5j
|
{
"description": "pushing away friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for pushing away friends?
|
As soon as a coworker or a friend asks to hang out, I start to frantically search my mind for any excuse not to. And when I do have plans it just feels like a chore or another task to complete for the day. I'm not anti-social or anything, I have a social life and I do know how to socialize but I just hate it. I'm completely fine with just hanging out once a week because I just prefer to be doing my own thing at home.
I know it's weird and I can't really explain it but I just lose interest in people so quickly. Like I could meet someone and we'd get along well and I'd be genuinely interested in this person and think "okay this is it, I found someone that I actually enjoy being around" but then give it a month or two (sometimes less) and my interest just disappears out of nowhere. I feel like at this point I should just stop making friends or trying to talk to people if eventually I'm going to lose interest in them.
And here is the part that makes me question my morality:
During the time that I have college classes going on and stuff, I'm completely fine being on my own for months because I get to interact with people almost daily. This also applies to work. But then one time during the summer when I wasn't taking any classes and after about a month after I quit my old job and all my then friends were on vacation I started to feel a bit lonely. It almost felt like the loneliness was almost eating me up or whatever and it was so bad that I didn't even want to exist. I felt like I was going crazy.
So I then realized that okay, maybe I do need to be around people BUT I just don't want a close relationship with anyone. I just want to have acquaintances. The thing with acquaintances though is that they eventually become friendships and then I have to sorta push them away slowly. I try to do this without hurting their feelings but come on, that obviously doesn't work.
I know one thing for sure that I will NEVER do is this: I won't EVER get into any sort of romantic relationship because I KNOW that it would be wrong to put someone through that. Like, I've had guys hit on me and approach me in public many times and sometimes I'd be interested and stuff too but I immediately shut them down because I know that the interest will eventually go away. Most of my current friends have boyfriends and they always ask me why I'm not in a relationship but I can't tell them any of this for obvious reasons so I just say I'm not looking for one. People tend to think I'm stuck up for this.
So I refrain from having romantic relationships but I still have friendships and I pretend to be interested in those people because I don't want to be alone.
Is this wrong?
(don't know if this is important but I feel like some people are gonna bring up age and say that "it's normal to become less interested in socializing/partying as you age" but I'm 18. I know this isn't normal lol)
tldr: I befriend people and push them away after about 2 months because I don't want to let them get too close to me. I genuinely don't think I'm hurting them as much if they haven't known me for a long time but that isn't always the case because people still get hurt. I do this A LOT. Like A LOT A LOT.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b0teqv
|
{
"description": "cutting all contact with one of my best friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting all contact with one of my best friends
|
Yeah over 4 years ago I met this really awesome friend and we talked a ton, and had many really awesome moments. He helped me out when I needed it and I helped him when he needed help in life and we really got along super super well. After many years of being super close friends and hanging out a lot we kinda stopped talking for maybe 4-5 months just because we were really busy in life. Recently he tried to start talking to me again and I thought it was awesome that we were connecting again. After having a small conversion I found out that he was selling drugs now which is very weird. He was always somewhat of an entrepreneur but never could I imagine him selling drugs? I’m not sure what specially he was selling, I doubt it was anything extreme maybe just weed or something but it still really bothered me. So I blocked him from all forms of communication. After thinking about it for a tad it really just seems that ditched him. I’m not sure if what I did was too extreme or maybe it was warranted hopefully I can find some guidance here.
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HISTORICAL
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b443i3
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{
"description": "snapping at my sister",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for snapping at my sister
|
Allow me to set the scene:
My wife had been in the hospital for several days giving birth to our daughter. It was a long, painful birthing process, with little sleep and at the end of all of the hard work my wife put in she went in for an emergency c section.
The c section was over, she was in recovery and I went back to the room where my parents, my sister, her mom and aunt were.
I walked in the door, and sister began telling me that my wife wasn’t going to go to my house after she was released from the hospital, that my wife was to stay else where and she was going to take my dog back to her house.
I snapped at her. Full on venom in my voice. That was not up to her, and she sure a shit wasn’t taking my dog.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not replacing the toilet paper in a shared bathroom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not replacing the toilet paper in a shared bathroom?
|
I live with a housemate and her boyfriend. Their bedroom has an ensuite, "my" bathroom is the main bathroom in the house which is used by myself and guests, and probably by my housemates.
When I first moved in, I was at home a lot more and so always made sure that I had spare rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom. The last 6 months or so though I spend 3-5 nights a week at my boyfriend's house, plus work from 12 til 9 most days so I am rarely at the house. I'm there so little that my boyfriend and I jokingly refer to it as "the storage shed".
One week I noticed that the four pack of toilet paper I had bought last time I was home was empty, even though the only roll I had used personally was the first roll in the pack. After this I made the decision not to replace the toilet paper anymore. My housemate has since been replacing the paper in the main bathroom with her own. I know toilet paper isn't super expensive and I feel a bit petty at my behaviour, which is what prompted the post here.
So, am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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a34p3w
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{
"description": "telling the dean about my asshole teacher",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA if I tell the dean about my asshole teacher?
|
So I haven't actually done anything yet, but I'm seriously considering it, and just wanna know if this would make me the asshole.
I have this teacher (he teaches geography) and he is an absolute terrible teacher, and also kind of an asshole. However, he has a big passion for his job and I know he loves teaching.
Some backstory on why he is an asshole:
He has on multiple occassions insulted my choice to take a gap year after high school, by saying it's not a valid choice, it's postponing my life, bla bla.
He has also sent me out of class for not bringing my books with me to class, when we never ever use the books, and then putting me in the hallway and telling me I 'need to stand here and rethink my attitude' like I'm some 5 year old.
He also thinks that just because we're smart kids, we're better than everyone else and regularly tells us we're the 1 percent of society and we should use that to our advantage.
He is also a terrible teacher. Geography is relatively easy and I get good grades because I study hard, but his classes contribute 0 to that. He explains what's in the book for the entire duration of the class, which is either 50 or 100 minutes, then continues to dwell on things we already know or things that don't relate to the subject whatsoever. No one actually pays attention in his class, because it's absolutely useless.
So I've been playing with the idea of reporting him to my dean for a while, because it's our final year in high school and we really need a good teacher. Before, it was kinda funny how terrible he was, but now it's really not anymore. However, I know he has a lot of passion for his job and teaching and geography, and I don't know what will happen if I report him, but I know he will be super hurt if he finds out. AITA if I report him?
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HISTORICAL
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air58g
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{
"description": "asking my mate to buy me new headphones after they broke mine",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For asking my mate to buy me new headphones after they broke mine.
|
So basically I was on a buss and he broke the headphones. They where those big Bluetooth ones (not an expensive brand only twenty quid).
Music came out of both ears but the ear piece on one side was only held on by the wire.
We argued a bit and he offered to give me a role of tape to fix it. In the end I just forgot about it and he lent me some of his old headphones he didn’t want anymore.
He doesn’t seem to think he did anything wrong at all. But they were new. They weren’t really nice headphones but I liked them. He thinks I’m unreasonable for not taking the tape and he shouldn’t have to pay.
I don’t want the money for new ones anymore but I just think he should’ve at least offered. He just seemed like a bit of an asshole while we argued about it. He accepted it was his fault but expected me to walk around with bust ass headphones held together with tape. He just didn’t give a shit at all that he’d broke them.
Did I over react? Should I have just taped them? If he broke my shit should be pay? AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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ac7vlg
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{
"description": "rejecting a guy on an app",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for rejecting a guy on an app
|
aita for rejecting someone out of hand for not seeming worth talking to. For context his first message was unsolicited, you don't have to match to send a first message on this app.
https://imgur.com/a/77aye5v
^^ pic of chat
transcript
Him: O hot damn u fine
Me: ikr
Him: smh... smh... so wanna talk to me?
Me: if you make yourself worth talking to
Him: Yea... u one of those people. Jesus didn't have to make himself worthy and I'm made in his image. 😦 but I'm [name]. If you wanna talk or find out about me... I'm here
Me: k
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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b9ua8f
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{
"description": "posting bad reviews to expose the shady company that screwed me over",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA If I post bad reviews to expose the shady company that screwed me over?
|
To preface: I took a job I didn't look too far into because my then-current job was worsening my depression and I couldn't find a job. I realize how many red flags come up - I knew I needed to get out ASAP, but was not able to find another job, and had bills to pay. I only stayed for as long as I had to.
BACKSTORY: The company is owned by an ex-con, and his brother. Both are good 'ol boy racists. They would constantly use the N-word (hard R) at the office, and made fun of me when I told them it made me uncomfortable (I am a progressive white person), plus other racist stuff I'll add below. In addition to this, they ran their company using pretty shady practices.
Basically, they asked me to go out and canvas, tell them they had a bad roof even if they didn't, and convince them that they needed an inspection. The owner would come out and create "non-repairable" damage to the roof. He would then go to the homeowner, tell them they needed a new roof and that the their insurance would pay for it. I would get 20% for anyone who signed a contract.
Granted - this shady practice is actually super common in the roofing industry, but he sells his company as supposedly high-end and above reproach, and would specifically say to home owners that his company was not one that did this. (HE WOULD INSENSITIVIZE PEOPLE TO LEAVE 5-STAR REVIEWS)
That job then evolved into them basically asking me to pyramid scheme the whole thing and hire people (RF) ,and he told me "Absolutely under no circumstances can I hire a black person."
HOW I GOT SCREWED: About 6 months ago, I got a call from the owner's wife. She said that he had been sent back to jail. Although the brother said that business would continue as usual, I knew that with him gone I would be the one having to complete these shady things - or at least I was expected to. I knew I wasn't willing to do that, so I stopped getting new contracts. Well, the owner got out of jail about 3 months later and was pissed that I had not continued work. At this point I am still owed OVER $5K for past contracts that got dragged out. I continuously asked the brother when I would be paid and he'd just assure me it would be soon. After I texted the owner (now that I knew he was out of jail), I got two belligerent voicemails, telling me that because I did not continue my work, he would not be paying me.
I know I could possibly sue, but I'm worried about getting buried in legal fees.
WIBTA If I retaliate by leaving bad reviews everywhere he is rated, thus ruining his perfect 5-star ratings, and exposing him and his company just as Roofing Season getting started?
Tl;dr I unwittingly took a shady job working for a racist, and after he went to jail and I stopped taking new contracts, he has refused to pay me the over $5k he still owes me for my previous work. WIBTA if I leave him bad reviews exposing him and his company, ruining his perfect 5-star rating?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
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|
arzvif
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{
"description": "not wanting to play music and sing at my great grandmother's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to play music and sing at my great grandmother's funeral?
|
So, my great grandma just died at the age of 104. My mom was adopted and we didn't meet anyone from that family until I was eight years old. (Currently 28F.) So we've never been as close with them as we are with other branches of our family.
My mom is an impressive woman. She used her skills with the piano to win pageants and pay her way through school to become a doctor. She fostered a love of music and performance in my sister and in me. We did community theater together my entire childhood. Weirdly enough though, she never played the piano to sing with us during my childhood, nor has she done so in my adult life.
She and my sister are natural talents. Music comes so easily for them. I've always been a little ashamed that despite my years of theater and choir, I've never been able to read music. So when I finally decided to learn an instrument (guitar and more recently ukulele), I really had to fight tooth and nail to get good. As a result, I really only play music with my two best friends: my sister and her husband. My brother in law is just now learning guitar, so we like to play together. And my sister, BIL, and I love to sing. But they don't live nearby so we have to just take the chances we can get. And I kind of like for our music to be just for us, you know?
The last few times that I've gotten to see them, my mom's been there too. And we try to play and sing when we have privacy, but I always end up looking around and seeing my mom covertly filming. It makes me super uncomfortable. I've asked her to stop and she acts like I'm being selfish.
So with the death of my great grandmother, my mother kind of ambushed me the other day saying, "Hey I was hoping you'd learn these songs on ukulele for the funeral." I told her that I wasn't sure, both because of the ukulele being my weaker instrument and my lack of familiarity with the family. She just said, "well your sister's already agreed to it." Which she kind of did but super begrudgingly.
And this is honestly only a small percentage of my issue, but I've been an atheist for more than a decade and my great grandma was a super devout christian. All of the songs are old spirituals from the early 20th century. And my involvement, especially given my lack of connection with the family feels... disingenuous?
I honestly don't know. Am I being an asshole or is my mom just being passive aggressive?
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HISTORICAL
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arqvmu
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{
"description": "not cleaning for a week during exams",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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}
|
AITA for not cleaning for a week during exams
|
So I am living with my best friend here studying medicine. Last year he was abroad and I lived with really messy people, so I had to clean everything alone and started to getting used to clean every 3-4 weeks only (bit then very well). Now I live with my friend again and we switch witch cleaning. Now I skipped one week because of exams. Everything looked perfectly fine in the bathroom and so on...
This weekend I planned to clean and he also asked me to do it so I said yeah I will do it. 2 hours before I started to clean he went on a 60 minute phone call rant about me not cleaning. I think he thought I couldn't hear him through the wall.
Then I cleaned everything for over 2 hours (which I would have done anyways).
My question is: Is skipping cleaning for one week (we have a 2 week rhythm) such a big thing? Why didn't he bring it up and then rants for so long?
My guess is he is bored right now because he has only small exams and only lives with me here so he tries to find a reason for being angry at me or sth.
How shall I react? Was it wrong to shift it for a week or is my roommate maybe just feeling bad right now?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
aki79s
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{
"description": "being upset we weren't told the pool would be under renovation by the person on the phone when I booked our hotel room",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset we weren’t told the pool would be under renovation by the person on the phone when I booked our hotel room?
|
My husband and I stay at a hotel for a few days in Virginia every winter because it’s pretty much vacant except for us so we pretty much get the pool to ourselves. I called the hotel directly and I feel that we should have been informed. I would have stayed somewhere else if I had known.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a7dn72
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{
"description": "blowing up on my mom when she was trying to organize my class notes",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for blowing up on my mom when she was trying to organize my class notes?
|
So today I needed to print my class notes on the family printer. To do so I had to use my mom's computer instead of mine because it's the only one that runs Windows XP and the printer is only supported on it (We have another newer printer but can't use it because its ink is expensive). I tried to use the printer but as usual the paper got stuck while printing so my mom took over to help me. She saw my class notes and said that it was too messy and started formatting them. I just wanted my notes printed because reading on a screen was hurting my eyes so I told her that she didn't need to do that but she wasn't listening. My mom then lectured me on why formatting a document is important, what if someone sees how messy it is etc. and it was then that I blew up on her. Told her that those notes were just for me to read so why would I care as long as I understand what I wrote and that she was wasting my studying time over unnecessary bs (exam is tomorrow BUT I think she didn't know).
I feel like I got angry at something trivial as she was just trying to help but I am also annoyed about the whole thing. I just wanted to print something and somehow it turned in a lecture.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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RIGHT
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aomulr
|
{
"description": "refusing to pay for my roommates clipper charger",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for refusing to pay for my roommates clipper charger?
|
My roommate has a horrible habbit of leaving things open. Like, anything that is on hinges. Cabinets, closets, the gate to our fence, once even the front door. So, of course, his bathroom door is often wide open.
My rather curious cat has been found in there multiple times, trying to play with the things on his counter, and every time she is met with screaming and threats, as if she knows any better. Every time he says something about it, i tell him rather blatantly, "if the door is open, I cannot stop her from going in all the time." I work, and my fiancee is taking care of our newborn son all day. But he continues to leave the door open and then get angry when she goes in.
Yesterday, while I was at work and my fiancee was tending to our child, my roommate left the house, leaving his bathroom door wide open. This morning, he finds his charger for his Clippers eaten and torn to shreds. Now he is demanding money from us to pay for a whole new clipper set.
I, and my fiancee, refuse to take responsibility for this event, when he has been warned time and time again to be sure his doors are closed if he wants the cat to stay out.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
|
lew8O1c9RJVR0Vi8bfgfi2oLqBMpS7CX
|
aantmx
|
{
"description": "ruining blow jobs for my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for ruining blow jobs for my boyfriend? (NSFW)
|
So...blow jobs. They're great! I dont mind giving them, but sometimes I don't think guys realize how it feels to be on the giving side. After a fun little session with my boyfriend I asked him if he knew how blow jobs feel from my perspective. So I thought I'd show him. I asked him to put his fingers in his mouth, and with his permission I began to push them in, he was gagging, but I continued for a bit shoving them in. This is what guys do to girls, right? You push their head back and forth and it feels good because the gag reflex makes the muscles of their throat tighten. I thought it'd be a funny little experience, because I really didnt mind, I just wanted to show him what it was like.
But his face was so somber, he looked so guilty, thinking about how that was what he "put me through" and I kinda felt bad. He said he"d never ask me for one again and that wasn't what I wanted at all. My poor baby was scarred. I didnt think it was that bad, I stopped when he asked/pushed away, and I didnt think it'd be THAT bad, but now I feel kinda guilty. But should I? I mean I'm perfectly willing to do the deed, and I don't think it's that bad, but it isn't a great feeling, and I did really want to show him what its like. This is kinda funny, but I'm wondering if me doing that was an asshole move.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
r1rnR1vCHcmiRlqlxLTybP73pooT3sbG
|
atf3gd
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends
|
Back in high school, I (22F, 16 at that time) was friends with this guy my age. It was purely platonic. We had a close group of friends and had a great time. I used to be a very quiet kid who got very emotionally invested in *everything*. One day, he suddenly stopped talking to me. I never found out why but apparently something I did triggered it. He never explained even though I asked several times so I still don't know if I did something bad. That period of time really upset me. A couple months later, he decided to "forgive me" and we made up. Another 5 months later, he cut off all contact again with no explanation. He had many issues and was always burning bridges with people and I did not need that drama in my life. He'd make a big deal of avoiding me/whispering/being strange when I was in the room so I started being very vocal about how I hated him. He'd try to get "his friends" to be super exclusive and cut off people who were "my friends", which was a real dick move, but it just ended up backfiring on him and most people disliked him. We graduated that way.
Fast forward several years. I am now rather blunt and sarcastic. I attended an award ceremony/ball event that usually doubled as an alumni reunion. I ran into him and he tried to strike up a conversation. I don't hold a grudge anymore. I barely even remember what happened, but I know it had been the most emotionally stressful time in my school years. I told him that I wanted nothing to do with him and to not waste both our times making small talk. I had no interest in reconnecting and since I went to college out of state, we were probably not going to run into each other ever again. My friends panicked and separated us at that point.
My friends understand my reasoning but told me that it was rude and that small talk never hurt anyone. In highschool, he was an asshole. I was probably an asshole back. AITA for not wanting to be friends? Was I too rude?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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|
alkvvy
|
{
"description": "not tutoring my younger sibling",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For not tutoring my younger sibling
|
My parents want me to tutor my sister but I know that would just be a waste of time. The kid isn't interested in learning and never listens to what she is told, I don't want to because I don't care nor do I have the patience. I am the oldest of 4 (ages 11,7,4) I tolerate them but I don't love them. My parents allow them to do whatever they please until they get annoyed. They are not good kids, really spoiled and entitled. The middle one (7 sister) is basically failing primary school. She doesn't have any responsibilities other than doing her school work: she has a laptop. a tutor every Saturday for 1 to 2 hours, unlimited access to books, and programs for learning. She has everything she needs but isn't interested in learning, she'd rather play. I don't care about her education if she succeeds or fails it wont impact my life. My mother is being really manipulative. I am every name under the sun if I don't do what is asks of me and then I must forgive everything and act like there is no issue without an apology.
When the first kid came I was almost 8 and I hated it but suck it up ( I hated being touched, hit and vomited on, also was ignored but that was for the best). I have always been expected to put their wants/needs over mine while ignoring all the issues they caused me if not I was selfish or whatever else my parents could think of. Honestly not bitter my mom doesn't like children and didn't want all of the stress that children cause, I was a young and independent kid that wanted approval from my parents so it makes sense.
Anyway I'm just saying the kid isn't my problem, she doesn't want to learn and I don't want to to teach her. I even recommended to get the kid tested for some illness or something that was refused so then I explained that she would benefit from just planning to get a GED and going to trade school. School isn't for everyone so it is better to work at her level and stop holding people responsible for her.
My mom keeps telling me if she fails then I will have to help her but if that was the case she would be homeless. I am aware that isn't "nice" but she has no work ethic so sucks to suck.
TLDR: I refuse to teach my younger sister (age 7) considering she has a lot of resources and is choosing not to progress.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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FFvy2798kcX06w0JMJWmUoKF1eqDIifX
|
andw40
|
{
"description": "wanting a discount on a club term memebership, as the last time I bought one I was injured and out of action for half of the duration",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting a discount on a club term memebership, as the last time I bought one I was injured and out of action for half of the duration?
|
...I'm bad at titles but I think that summarises it.
It's kind of a small thing, but I recently joined a university society this academic year which meets 3 times a week. I was really enjoying it, so much so that I bought a term pass (where I can go to all sessions) for £80. Other than that, it is £4 per session, so economically if you go 2+ times a week it's cheaper that way.
The only thing is, is that about half way through the term I dislocated my knee, had to go to a&e and all that stuff. Per the request from the hospital, I did physio and didn't go to the society until past Christmas.
I'm facing a small dilemma, because although I really want to buy another pass, I'm worried something will happen again and I'd have wasted my money again. I've chatted to the society organiser and he basically told me that when you buy a term pass you run that risk, and that the only options were to pay per day or that.
I'm kinda annoyed, because if I didn't get my money's worth because of laziness then I'd be okay, but because of something out of my control means I waste my money. I haven't said anything because I don't want to piss off anyone.
Idk, am I right in being annoyed or should I just suck it up?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
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