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RSAjzdUELyvGIhAPjJYcbjt1yonf2v4V
|
b750o4
|
{
"description": "telling my friend his mustache makes him look like a sex offender",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my friend his mustache makes him look like a sex offender?
|
Some context- my friend group and I have a very crude, nasty sense of humor. Basically we are 14 year olds in 24/25 year old bodies. We often joke about weird sex stuff, and we love to bust each others balls whenever we get the chance. Outsiders might think we have an "offensive" type of humor, and they might think we are being genuinely mean to one another but we show our love through jokes and sarcasm.
This one friend was back in town after moving away for a few months, and when we all got together yesterday I noticed he grew a mustache, so the first thing out of my mouth was, "Hey man, nice stash. You look like our neighborhood sex offender!"
He got weirdly offended and walked away into the mall, where we were meeting up. My friends thought it was funny he was barely said two words to me the rest of the night.
So, AITA? Or has he just forgotten how harsh our sense of humor can be? Trust me, it wasnt that bad compared to other things we joke about.
Tldr- Me and friend group have nasty immature sense of humor, friend who we havent seen grew a mustache and I told him he looks like a sex offender and he got upset.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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NQGuyR79EMPOSTARLrt2mkHeRuI0PGS0
|
b6bfbe
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend that my teammates think her male friend is gay",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend that my teammates think her male friend is gay?
|
Currently a junior in high school on the soccer team. I generally try to be friendly with my teammates but I would not say I'm not in the same "friend group" of the majority of the team. Last week, I heard them talk in the locker room after practice about my girlfriend's friend and talking about how they thought he was gay. I wasn't really sure what to say or do so I stayed out of the conversation and left.
After that, I went to meet my girlfriend and I mentioned that my teammates thought her friend was gay, not adding my opinion about it. She told me thats he's not and that I'm stupid to even mention that. I wasn't sure why she was mad because she generally wants me to tell her any type of gossip that floats around. I told her I didn't really have an opinion on the topic and that I wouldn't care if he was or wasn't and just mentioned it because its considered "gossip". She said she was sure he wasn't because they go to church together and she knows him well. I tried to move the conversation along because I didn't think saying that was going to be a big deal but she left and ignored me for the past few days. AITA?
If I am the AITA, is it because I perpetuated this rumor? She also knows that I generally don't hang out with the team unless for practice and games.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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RIGHT
|
pThILcSlGoPx52yEol8Ff3jwSPulaWCm
|
ap4qab
|
{
"description": "wanting my sister to start paying her half of the bills for the house we inherited",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my sister to start paying her half of the bills for the house we inherited?
|
My sister and I inherited my father's house about four years. Since his passing, the house has been vacant. I have been paying all of the bills (electricity, water, etc) including any repairs that have come up (fixed the deck, a/c). The bills are about \~200/month and the repairs have been \~3k.
My sister and I have split the house taxes (\~6-8k/year) for the last two years. My sister paid the first 1.5 of taxes.
This past year I have been going to school so the bills have been stacking up and I actually had to use a credit card to pay for my half of the taxes. I asked her to pay for her half of the bills, but her response was that she paid for the taxes this first two years so we should be even.
In addition, my sister has been paying my father's house taxes and bills for almost 20 years prior to his death. I think she wants credit for that as well. She's offered to buy my portion of the house. I don't want to sell because it's been our family home.
AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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RIGHT
|
PTuMa0dKbyO3K5VQQBJPqZ34CN9dplql
|
a9g5p1
|
{
"description": "asking a girl out, she rejects me, and I get upset about it",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA by asking a girl out, she rejects me, and I get upset about it
|
The title makes me look like an asshole but there is a little bit more context. I am a senior in high school and have liked This girl for a while, probably since grade 9. We never really had the chance to have anything in terms of a relationship because she was always dating another guy or someone new. When our senior started, we started hanging out more and more. We would chill after school and go to the library almost everyday, all around just enjoy each other's company and make an effort to see each other everyday. Now I know that it is possible for opposite genders to be great friends, but considering she would be flirty with me, (touching, constantly laughing, she even invited me over when her parents weren't home), I assumed that she liked me. I genuinely thought that because of all this behaviour, she might actually like me. So I made the decision of asking her out... And she told me she couldn't get over her ex boyfriend. I respectfully told her I understood and it was over. It sucked it really did, but you can't have everything. So for the next couple days I was obviously a little bit upset because rejection is nothing to be happy about, so I made a little distance between us, and this made her very angry. She messaged me saying how I was being selfish and how I was being too emotional. The funniest part is, she lied to me, my good friend informed me right after that she actually is seeing someone at the moment. Now this would make me really upset, but I figured that she lied to spare me from greater harm, instead of saying shes seeing someone, I guess she layed me down easier. So i started ignoring her, and she is still upset about it. This was a while ago and we are still semi friends. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
U06l5GTV20vot9at1vSlpSi8uAmpeagh
|
akw8fs
|
{
"description": "being mad my aunt wouldn't lent me her car",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad my aunt wouldn't lent me her car?
|
This one was a good years ago and of course I am not mad anymore but here is the situation.
I got my drivings license when I was just about finishing university, I couldn't afford a car, so my family didn't bother to incentivise me to get it sooner (smart of them). When I got into university most my friends drove of course, I saved as much I could both for the license and a car. I payed for the license but the money from the car had to be used to pay other stuff.
At the time I was living with my aunt who is really close in age to me, and my grandmother. My aunt had everything handed to her, parents payed for her university, her license and sadly she kept my grandfather's car after he passed. Even so as I was getting my license she seemed really supportive, more than most of my family who would mock me as to why I was bothering taking it if I didn't have a car while they knew the money for the car was being spent on them.
She would usually say "You don't have to worry, anytime you need I will lend you my car, if you want to go out at night with your friends or anything, just tell me".
I would thank her and say I would get by fine and get myself something. But for some years I couldn't, as I was helping my Mother paying her bills.
For months I never asked her for the car. I would only drive when we were going somewhere all of us or occasionally take my step-mom's car for a ride alone. I just didn't need it.
One day I did. It wasn't for something really urgent or important but I didn't think it was a big deal. My student group in uni was organizing an event, and my best friend, who does not go to our uni was helping and giving us supplies that I would need to collect at her house after class and then go back to uni, all in all about 20 min ride each way. As I didn't want to bother any of my classmates and I thought I would have a car by then, I asked her a week in advance if she'd be willing to lend it. No problem.
Then the day before came. I asked her for the keys so I would take off in the morning for classes and she freaked out at me.
Her: "Why should I go to work by bus and train and you should go by car???"
Me:" but you said you would lent it to me?"
Her"sorry, but no. It doesn't make any sense. I never said that. Plus you are a new driver, you don't have any experience"
Me: "so... I shouldnt drive to get experience because i don't have experience?"
Her:" look, I know you are in a hurry to grow up, but life takes time, I didn't take my license when I was 18"
Me: "neither did I, I was 20 and I paid for it myself"
Her: " I just find it hilarious why you don't ask your mother"
Me: "her car is broken. She did lent it to me before for small rides. She is far away now for me to get the broken car. And she never promised me anything of the sort."
She stopped the conversation after that. Did not lend me the car, and I had to ask my classmates to go do what I was supposed to. Luckly one of them lived very close to my friend and didn't mind at all.
I never asked for any favour again from anyone in my family. Now I have my own car and live in another country anyway. The other day I just remembered this and I don't know if I was a spoiled brat or if I was right this time...
TL;DR: Aunt kept telling me she would lend me the car if I needed it, when I needed she refused, I got mad, argumment happens. I still remember it time to time.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
AIfgVFE9UsgtC7jD9FrJUl3jwAycMHC0
|
abuszt
|
{
"description": "arguing with people, who believe in god",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA Arguing with people, who believe in god
|
This is a long string of comments from a YouTube Video:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy6kaDaeDT8&lc=z23xvh4xpvvwwvjy304t1aokg2nfdgz3grnb5bsl4uvirk0h00410.1546260670606635](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy6kaDaeDT8&lc=z23xvh4xpvvwwvjy304t1aokg2nfdgz3grnb5bsl4uvirk0h00410.1546260670606635)
I commented under 0 Two's comment, it should be at the top, (my name is Axton too) and got called a shithead by JDUB in the very end, Am I one or is the other guy the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
THmU6vn6npNtSm3QsKptTtVqh5zx65Rp
|
afg74y
|
{
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for not texting me during my trip with friends",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA (F20) for being mad at my boyfriend (M18) for not texting me during my trip with friends.
|
I'm split on my feelings right now. I feel like a shit person for getting mad at him but hear me out.
I told my boyfriend 5 days before leaving that I would be going on a road trip with 3 friends (All female who he's already hung out with) to Flagstaff for 3 days 2 nights to see the Grand Canyon and explore any other monuments. We both have a good relationship, we communicate and comfort the other when we have something to say with one another and don't keep secrets if we feel it affects each other.
Recently he's been overjoyed that his female childhood friend who is also his "cousin" I don't know if she's a genuine cousin since he has alot of honorary cousins who are usually kids of his mother's friends. He texts me that a few weeks before hand that his cousin Mary has finally started texting him again as in the past he told me about how he was told she had gone missing for the past 3 years and has recently resurfaced as he found her on Facebook. Apparently she has never gone missing but has been through some tough family problems was taken away from her family and had a choice to either go to Child Protective services or on her own but I don't know the full story as that is what she told him on text.
First night on my trip to Flagstaff I'm asleep and when I wake up the next morning I see he left 2 messages at 3 am telling me not to be mad or upset. I call him at 6 am asking him what happened and he told me he wanted to hang out with Mary on Thursday to catch up before she moves to another state and mentions she has a boyfriend already and lives with him. Now I wasn't upset that she was a girl but I always felt jealous when he mentioned her and acted to excited and telling his little brothers whenever she sends him a new message. He understood I felt weird about how much he talked about her and was getting jealous and he apologized. I felt upset but I told him he shouldn't be too hard on himself because he said she was the person who was there for him when No one else was when he was little.
I felt bad and told him while I had all these uneasy feelings I trusted him and that the only reason I was worried was because out of all his family I never met Mary. He told me everything is fine and that I should trust him. I told him alright and we were done with it. For the rest of that day I've tried to text him just as we always do with the usual "hey what you up to" and all the typical conversation starters but he's just been ending it quick with just "have fun with your friends". Now this was okay the first few times because I know he had online school to work on. But I've been wanting to talk to him because I just missed him and told him so and he just kept ending the conversation after miss you too and he says bye because I just think he had to run an errand which he in my experience always has to deal with.
For the rest of the day I've been waiting for just starter message from him but nothing came so after I returned to the hotel room at night I called him but he sounded busy since he wanted to hang up because I think he felt nervous that I wanted to talk to him with my friends were in the same room as me. I asked him if everything was okay over there and he said he would tell me later and that I should just have fun with my friends. I kept pushing on my texts saying if he was okay because when I sent him messages he read it and wouldn't reply but it was just in a span in five minutes so I was probably overreacting but I wanted to know what was going on with him and saying I missed him which is why I was texting him and wanting him to text me back.
We both seemed to get angry in text and he kept saying he was fine and babysitting his siblings and his other honorary aunt's kids too and said that he would just tell me later what was on his mind.
Idk I just feel really bad for being angry for something like this but I feel all this is just happening because I felt uncomfortable about the whole Mary thing. Am I the asshole here for making a big deal out of this? I just wanted to chat with him and have everything back to being us just being goofy to each other. I wanna just apologize to him because I think he just has his own problems and just wants to leave me to my friends. I guess it's probably because I'm comparing myself to all my other friends who currently are occupied texting their own boyfriends.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
|
4Wji7P26oFq0KdgWoZMj9H67zWSrIAnp
|
a8f04a
| null |
AITA for how I handled a surprise therapy session
|
The facts are these:
\- I have been best friends with J for about 5 years, we're both currently in university.
\- J suffers from pretty severe anxiety, and I do my best to help her and be supportive however I can
\- I suffer from depression and have been suicidal for the past year, but I'm in treatment and and regularly see a therapist. J knows this and does their best to be helpful and supportive however they can.
\- My dad died when I was in middle school. It's not something I usually bring up outside of therapy. I have talked to J about it more than anyone else, but they know it's not an easy subject for me to talk about.
\- When I was in middle school I engaged in some self harm, but managed to quit after a few years. this was before I met J. Until recently, they did not know this.
\- Because of exam stress and changing medications and other extenuating circumstances, I relapsed and cut myself. When J first saw the cut and asked what happened, I told them it was an accident. A few day later, I felt bad for lying so I told J what had actually happened. I tried to make it clear that I wasn't a danger to myself, that I had talked to my therapist about it, and that they should not be worried. They hugged me, but didn't seem overly upset or anxious and didn't ask any questions.
\- Following that conversation, J never brought up the incident again or made any indication that they were concerned for my safety. I talked to them several times both over text and in person.
\- A few days later, J asked me if I would go with them to an appointment with her psychologist. J didn't specify exactly what why or what the nature of the appointment would be, but I was under the impression that they wanted me there for support. They mentioned that they had a note with more details for me to read prior to the appointment, that they would give me the day of. I was never given the note.
\- The appointment began roughly as follows:
>Psychologist: How can I help you today?
>
>J: Not to play the blame game but \[stonehengeandcraters\] recently told me that she self harms and I've had really bad anxiety and panic attacks about it.
>
>P: \[stonehengeandcraters\] how do you feel about this?
\- I explained to the psychologist that this was a one off relapse, I'm in therapy, and not in and danger. I apologized to J for not communicating this better in the first place. I also made it clear that I was completely fucking blindsided by this whole situation and that I thought I was here to support J, not to be interventioned.
\- J explained that during middle school one of their friends self harmed, and J had needed to talk them out of suicide, an event which still causes J a lot of anxiety. They said that this was not meant to feel like an intervention, but that they were worried about me and told the psychologist about my dad and that they were "concerned about how it's still effecting \[me\]". (note: the concern about my dad is not something J has ever mentioned to me)
\- The psychologist said that there's not much she can do since I'm already in therapy with someone else, pointed out that there are probably some boundary issues J and I need to work on, and then spent the rest of the session talking about self care and reducing stress.
\- After the appointment I asked J why they didn't just talk to me about their concerns. They said they "hadn't though of that" and apologized if they had broken my trust. I had another appointment to go to right after and was still kind of in shock about the whole situation so I just said it was fine but I needed time to process and we could talk about it later. We both had to take the same bus after so we made awkward meaningless small talk until I got off.
I haven't talked to J since. I know I'll have to discuss it with them eventually.
​
On one hand I feel bad for contributing to J's anxiety and feel like I should have been more cooperative and that I made the situation all about myself. It seemed like J was genuinely trying to help, and that I had caused them a lot of distress.
On the other hand I'm hurt that they didn't talk to me like I'm a competent adult. It feels like J took advantage of my willingness to go support them in order to bring up things I told them in confidence and made me discuss them with a stranger that I'm wasn't comfortable with. I really thought J was someone I could trust. I don't know why they would do this to me.
​
**TLDR: Told my best friend that I had a self harm relapse and she bamboozled me into an appointment with her therapist because it gave her anxiety.**
AITA so far?
WIBTA if I stopped talking to J because of this? I feel like even if I could trust them, I can't talk to them about anything I'm struggling with now, because I'm afraid it will make their anxiety worse and I don't want to have a friendship where I'm constantly giving support but getting nothing in return.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
mFR1hCT2btzA9A3heWQgzGJ8NiYkjGvJ
|
aevcwk
|
{
"description": "selling out (for a nice load of money) a family member (non-nuclear family) to people who seek vengeance for beating an animal and burying it alive",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I sold out (for a nice load of money) a family member (non-nuclear family) to people who seek vengeance for beating an animal and burying it alive?
|
Not happened to me but heard that a famous person in my country is looking for someone who did such terrible thing to a dog. He pays a shitload of cash for pointing out the right person. It got me wondering if I am the one in the wrong thinking it would be right to give a family member away. Would I be the asshole? Thanks for answers in advance.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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WRONG
|
XjLg2IyyfupVATcuu1b8IRh5paZhsZyF
|
aj2wci
|
{
"description": "skipping school for 2 days to work on a project due over 5 months",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For skipping school for 2 days to work on a project due over 5 months?
|
I'm not going to get it done, but I want to turn in at least something.
But my mom thinks I'm the biggest asshole in this situation for not working on it over the 5 months and she wants me to go to school and accept that I didn't do it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
SaGmnkcLPWo3uWTkoqoFYARCJhOPf1OO
|
az0w57
|
{
"description": "not showing up to my last doctor Appointment",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for Not Showing Up To My Last Doctor Appointment???
|
This is a froedart hospital btw which is a big name hospital.
I have state insurance if that means anything. Better perspective I guess.
My Mom,Moms Mom and My Great grandma have been seeing the same doctor.
He was a nice doctor and would ask personal questions which I fidnt mind asking since I liked to talk about my struggles with family.( Not knowing it,I seriously needed a psychiatrist)
My mother's a drinker and is kind of going down hill and her job is killing her.He says that but personally it is which him and I talk about(He brought it up because we both know she isn't honest about her usage and I wanted him to know for her benefit for meds and such)
Every visit though it seems that he just pushes psych pills? I always felt iffy to it since hes a regular doc.
I had a car accident and told him my back hurt. He wanted me to go to physical therapy to decide if I needed more than that.
Shouldn't he take an xray or something before pushing me off to somebody else?
One time,while I was waiting,I overheard in the next room(thin walls) a girl screaming. It's not my business but the Doc comes into my room and says,"If I knew it was you I might have asked you to talk to her."
I'm thinking,"That is none of my business and isn't that against patient confidentiality?"
My grandma is a nurse and started looking at this doctor differently when I talk to her.
Anywho,The last time I saw him,he walks into the room and with no comment from me says,"I'm sorry you had to grow up with the mother that you have."
Wtf??? My mother was a very hard working person with 3 kids,with neither father helping financially and I was so upset that I could barely muster out,"I think I should leave these convos for my psychiatrist!"
I think he realized what he said but offered no apology and he didnt even know what I was there for. His receptionist and nurse knew but he didnt until I brought it up before he left the room.(Had a severe reaction to meds and my feet and legs swelled up where I could barely walk)
Today came for me to see him but I got severely anxious and pissed for what he said(Also was exhausted due to depression,trying to get sleep after 35 hrs)and just decided to not see him and have them drop me for missing too many appointments.
I've also have had a hard time going out in public lately due to the anxiety and depression so I was pretty happy to have an actual reason to leave my house.
Could have said I cant see him anymore and found a new doctor. I know it isn't confrontation but I'm not good with it and putting people down.
Feel like a pussy and feel bad for the receptionists and nurses and not standing up for my family.
I know I was wrong for the other 2 appointments I missed but I thought what he said was truly uncalled for.
I didnt even see him for a full year.
AITA?????
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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hF9iNsqePUDWzNI1URTxEFmMql18gIWV
|
ao8u3i
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to hang out with a guy who has feelings for her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not wanting my girlfriend to hang out with a guy who has feelings for her?
|
This seems pretty straightforward, but I’d like to give a little background so you can see things exactly as I see them.
I’ve been friends with my now girlfriend for 8 years. We met when we were 11. We’ve always had a bit of a “Jim and Pam” dynamic but things never quite worked out.
Well I finally had the chance to make a move on her, and she was so happy I did, but she wasn’t quite ready to hop into another relationship because she’s been from guy to guy for years. Totally understandable. She told me that she wanted to be with me, but just needed some time to herself. Again, I was totally fine with that and wanted her to take all the time she needed. I want things with us to last forever, and she needs to be happy and healthy by herself before WE can be happy and healthy together.
So now the fun part. She’s been friends with this guy who I’m not a huge fan of. Just overall not the best guy, but he treated her well and helped her in a couple times of need. They just started getting close around 10 months ago. I always felt like he had feelings for her, even before they got close.
She would tell me about how they hang out in his room and watch movies and chill in his bed and stuff. Big red flags for me. I’m sitting here like “duh of course he’s into you” but she just didn’t believe me. She thought that things were purely platonic.
Well surprise surprise, during this period of her trying to “discover” herself or whatever, he told her that he had feelings for her. He knew that she was into me, and told her that he didn’t want to make things difficult so he wouldn’t pursue things further. He said that he just didn’t want to lie to her anymore.
Well, a few days after that, the two of them were hanging out and he kept asking her questions about me. What she likes about me and stuff like that. He than began comparing himself to me to look like a good option. He clearly had big time feelings for her and still does.
Well, her and I are officially together now, and I’m feeling a bit uneasy about the whole situation. One one hand, I don’t want to be controlling or an asshole by telling her I don’t feel comfortable with her hanging out with him. On the other hand, I’ve seen first hand how fast platonic friendships can turn into so much more. Hell, it happened with her and I.
I’m not worried about her cheating on me, I do trust her, I just don’t like the idea of them hanging out, and her venting to some other guy about me. I feel like that’s how feelings develop.
Idk, maybe I’m overthinking things, that’s why I’m here. So...thoughts? If nothing else, I hope to create a discussion a dialogue about whether or not you can be friends with someone who has feelings for you, while in a relationship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
R9Fzl078CL1GG7tTbNyDVSCSuJJxDDpz
|
ap98bl
|
{
"description": "ruining my friend's film",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ruining my friend's film?
|
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My best friend is an actor and he was working on this movie a few years ago. I happened to become really good friends with the director of the film and after exploring ideas together for some time we figured it'd be better to do something else than a movie to express what we felt.
This let my best friend and a bunch of other people unemployed, am I the asshole for doing this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
Kv5NDcb4ZHHCRA4cuccNdryDpKL2gEO0
|
a88z7k
|
{
"description": "quitting my job because I couldn't stand to work with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for quitting my job because I couldn't stand to work with my friend?
|
Last year I had to move back home after failing to live on my own. Some non related things happened and I was pretty broken up about it for a long time. I had spent a couple months without a job living off of saved up money and a friend recommended I go work with him.
I had originally started working for this company when I was in college but quit to pursue job opportunities in a different field. During my first stint working there my friend was in a similar place and I recommended he come work with me which he did. I quit not long after.
Now having moved back, his department needing people, me out of work and having the relevant experience, I took the job and he was my supervisor. He started out pretty alright but as time went on and management started to tease him with promotions, he got a lot more annoying. Showing up late to relieve me, leaving clean up work for me to do when I would come in, passing off difficult customers to me etc. He would leave the section to go talk to the hot cashiers when it was busy, spent way too long out on break and would leave half eaten food and other garbage in drawers and on shelves that I would find when closing up.
I had a bunch of conversations with him about it and never made any headway. From his POV I was a lazy worker who didn't clean up adequately and didn't listen to him when he told me to do things. From my POV he was letting the position get to his head and instead of leading by example he was choosing the "do as I say not as I do" method. He mentioned to me that if I didn't like the way he did things that I should get promoted to supervisor so I could do his job.
After a couple months of this I had enough. I gave my two weeks to my manager, got another job in another field and left.
I still maintained contact with this person for a while after until he got drunk one night and spilled his guts about how shitty I was at that job and how me leaving was an insult to him because he "got me the job". I haven't spoken to him since then.
Am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
kpkx1dP24QDT3RApya0zsKmFIpkC3VrS
|
aliena
|
{
"description": "making a chour calendar",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For making a chour calendar ( edited for grammar)
|
So I live with 4 not including myself. me and my girlfriend don't currently work other than baby sitting and another girl also doesn't work.
I recently came back home from college ( the house we live is my fathers and my room mates other than my girlfriend is my cousin and his fiancé my step mom recently left leaving us 3 girls completely in charge of the chores.
well recently me and my girlfriend having been doing the bulk of the chores the other girl would say she would do the dishes, but they'd never get started up and we'd break down and do them. a few nights ago we got tierd of it and sat down with her and her fiancé and came to agreement that no matter whose dishes they are if it is your day to do dishes you do dishes. well yesterday was her day, low and behold she doesn't do the dishes, if she did she only washed her and her fiancé and took them back to their room, mind you their wasn't that many dish to do yesterday to begin with.
this morning me and my girlfriend got up and did the dishes including the ones that magically appeared after midnight.
I got fed up and decided the kindest way to handle this was to make a chore calendar making it so me and my girlfriend do chores one day the other girl does them the next day, and we only have 2 chores each day very reasonable and all the chores alternate each day (except dishes, dishes are done everyday no matter what)
the other girl came in saw we we're making a chore calendar asked what were doing we explained and she proceeded to tell me that the house was our responsibility.
now I'm of the opinion that the house is all of our responsibility because we live here.
clearly that us not her perspective.
AITA?
no matter the answer how do fix this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
N0L6Q2teKXbu74ctie1Y8Y1yKfAHGx9f
|
9wkzix
|
{
"description": "calling out a kid for stealing music",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling out a kid for stealing music?
|
There is freshman at my high school (I am a senior), who creates "remixes" of songs. He prides himself on creating one remix each day and posting it to YouTube. Me and my friends didn't believe this could be done, so we did a little digging and found out that all of "his" remixes are just remixes made by other artists with the cover art and names slightly altered. I messaged him privately explaining that passing off other artist's songs as your own is theft, and generally a bad thing to do. I told him if he posted another song like this, I would expose him in the comments of each video and report him.
Well, the next day comes, and a new stolen remix comes out. So as promised, I exposed him in the comments, where all his friends would see, and then reported him to YouTube.
However, I am starting to feel a bit of guilt. This kid has a slight learning disability along with some anger issues and is often in and out of school. I don't think he meant any harm with his videos, he just wanted to look cool and get some recognition from his peers. Am I the asshole for doing what I did?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
a3rEj5Fl2itvajV90EYh5a5KlG4cRRqs
|
azqfc1
|
{
"description": "thinking negatively of my housemate for not offering me gas money",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for thinking negatively of my housemate for not offering me gas money?
|
My housemate's return flight was delayed for almost two hours. As a result, the person who was originally supposed to pick the housemate up from the airport could no longer make it. The housemate then contacted me and I agreed to pick him up. When I picked him up, the housemate thanked me and that was it. Previously, when I picked up other housemates from the airport, they always offered to pay for gas or take me to a meal; but not this time. Also, I usually give out small rides; but in this case, the round trip was 95 mi and I drove for two hours after dark.
​
So, am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
0tfbmCE3B65U7T35w4vpHLF2cjCHy3kh
|
a6u81k
|
{
"description": "losing a friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for losing a friend?
|
Katrina (I’ll call her; all names are fake) turned out to be the type of person who ignored me the minute she got a boyfriend. We were incredibly close before she started dating. Close to the point where she considered dating me, but we were long distance and I didn’t see her that way. Then she started dating Anthony, and I was pretty much nonexistent from her life from then on. It hurt a lot. It showed me how much I actually meant to her - disposable. So I continued being nice to her when she did pay attention to me. I was going to let her get rid of me when she felt it was time.
The time did come. Thanksgiving. Leading up to Thanksgiving, there had been times when people would unnecessarily tag me in their life events on Facebook, such as a baby picture or a making-out picture (one person does this literally all the time. Any time she posts a baby picture or a picture with her and her “hubby hub hub”, she’s always tagging me; and I’m not involved with her in any way). So every time Sierra did that, I would rant to Katrina how annoyed I was, and how annoying it is for people to tag me on their life events on Facebook if I’m not involved. So she had some level of understanding when she did exactly that on Thanksgiving Day. I woke up to a Facebook post in which Katrina posted a photo of her and her boyfriend with the caption “I’m so thankful for my boyfriend, my most favorite person ever, on this Thanksgiving Day”. I was tagged in it. I texted her that day and asked her to untag me from that post. Well, that was a mistake. She got suuuuuuuuper pissed off at me, claiming I don’t appreciate her as a friend, and I’m bitter because she has a boyfriend, and that she was trying to be nice to me on a day thanking friends and family and showing appreciation. She unfriended me and blocked me, then called me a manipulative asshole who is a lonely bitter incel who can’t accept the fact everyone around me is in love and I’ll never find love because of that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ZFYJr4TJW3oQFiMvQgwIDYA09pLTuCDH
|
arbjkb
|
{
"description": "getting mad at GF for not coming to my meets",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad at GF for not coming to my meets
|
This is my first post so I’m sorry if its not written well.
Anyway, so I’m in powerlifting for my highschool. it’s my passion and I absolutely love it, and my GF knows this. We have had around 6 meets and I always tell her the time and school and tell her “I want her to come but I dont want you to be bored.” she says she wants to, and she says she wants to see me, and that she will come, I always say you don’t have to bc i dont want to sound like im forcing anything on her that she doesnt want to do, but then she reaffirms that she wants to go every single time bc she “loves me”, but we never have confirmed it 100% that she would. So far she hasnt been to one, and my last meet is coming up and i told her, then she said she wants to come, i said no you dont have to, then she says “MY MOM WANTS ME TO GO” .
Also, every big thing my GF has such as choir concerts and grandparents birthdays etc I’ve been to. I was in football, were from 2 differant schools, the only game she showed up to was when her school faced my school.
AITA for thinking my GF is selfish and only thinks about herself.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ktehGb1rDyKtrLREiireJzRjfVeaFzpX
|
b6h01l
|
{
"description": "not being more sensitive",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being more sensitive?
|
Im on mobile and also more importantly disclaimers bc I’m intoxicated bc it’s my 21st birthday!! So I genuinely am concerned whether AITA or not in this situation.
So my closest friend took me out for my 21st birthday to get me drunk and she totally succeeded. So my dilemma is her mom who randomly showed up to drink with us got too drunk& naturally her daughter offered to drive her home. Ok yeah makes sense and I have no issue. Then the vibe changed when we were walking up to my bffs car to drive her mom home. I was two steps away from the passenger door and her mom called “shotgun”, to which I jokingly said “but it’s my birthday!!” AS I got into the back seat. It seems relevant for me to say that her mom is a very large woman and fitting into seats has been an issue so she actually needs the front. I wasn’t even thinking about that aspect and her mom laughed so I genuinely thought no problem jokey jokes I’m messed up who cares. But now my friend is saying I disrespected her mom and was being mouthy and I seriously don’t think that I even semi came off that way to her mom or in general. I apologized but
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1QlfEJZygb0bb6XBwfpt8DmBi3t6S8nj
|
as24fy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to move closer to my SO's cancer-stricken parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to move closer to my SO's cancer-stricken parents?
|
My SO and I have been together for nearly a decade. We are not married--we are both women and initially we couldn't legally marry. I proposed to her once and she rejected me. Later, she explained that she was worried her parents would be upset if we got married. That was probably 5-6 years ago.
We moved to a city that is a few hour's drive from her parents about 4 years ago. When I visit I am hardly talked to or acknowledged. No one in her family has ever shook my hand, patted me on the shoulder or given me a hug. Her sister calls me my SO's "friend" to her children. Part of the lack of talking is there is a language barrier so I assumed that this was most of the issue. However, my SO's BIL's mother does not speak their language and one year at Christmas it was striking how much more broken English her parents would use with the MIL vs. with me. It was pretty clear they just don't bother putting a lot of effort into getting to know me or making me feel like part of the family.
Recently this came to sort of a head just before Thanksgiving. My SO's father got very sick and was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. My SO mentioned that I would be coming up to visit and her mom became visibly flustered. She didn't want me to come. My SO tried to explain to me that it was customary in their culture that you feed and house any guests and her plate was simply too full to handle me coming. Iniitally, this made sense but the more I thought about it I found it upsetting to be viewed as a burden. After talking about it more with her mom, my SO asked me to cancel my visit. When my SO got home (Dad made a recovery) I talked more with my SO about how upsetting it was and I decided not to visit them for Thanksgiving.
My SO's parents are both struggling with cancer and have been for the last year. Her sister has the main burden of taking them to appointments and dealing with things on a day to day level. She is starting to put a lot of pressure on my SO to move up there to help out. The thing is, I really don't want to move to that area and even more so, I don't want to for the sole reason of us spending more time with her parents. They don't seem to view our relationship as valid or as important as a marriage even though we do. Furthermore, in the time that we have been together we have put off so many plans because "what would her parents think" or "what if my parents get sick while we are gone." I know that if we move up there these sentiments will only intensify. I would gladly be there for her and for her parents but they've made it pretty clear they don't want me to be, so why should I put myself through that for likely many years to come?
I think this is the point where I call it quits with our relationship because I can't do this anymore. I can't live according to the wishes of people who don't even like me. But it also feels like a total dick move to make this choice when her parents are both dealing with cancer.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
YqvAL3xDbRwWPsT9zHoFxe6fktQWhzbI
|
alx3ud
|
{
"description": "being angry at an old family friend for cancelling my son's third birthday",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being angry at an old family friend for cancelling my son's third birthday?
|
Hi guys, my son is turning three tomorrow and his party has been "cancelled"...or at least the location is and now my family has to scramble to find a place in just two days. An old family friend of my mom's agreed to have the party at her house 6 weeks ago, today only two days before the party she calls it off. This is due to her highly special needs daughter having melt downs and needing "quiet".
​
I am trying my best to be understanding but I can't help but being highly disappointed and angry. Not only at the woman who cancelled the party, but my mom for setting it up and relying on this woman for something as important as her grandson's third birthday. I also feel guilty as well for going against my better judgement and not setting up the party myself at a secure location.
​
By the way, I haven't texted/confronted the woman about my disappointment. I'm still just mulling it over...
​
Side note: The woman has a history of flaking out on things, this isn't a independent incident.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
KCPB0wrgdwJ3hXKqrqTxIvA6QKK8onF7
|
atnvs2
|
{
"description": "making \"homophobic joke\" to my lgbt friends",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA when I made “homophobic joke” to my LGBT friends
|
I have, or had, I don’t know anymore, a group of friends that are in LGBT community, I’m kinda the only straight over there. I mean they accepted me and four of us somehow hang out and had fun together
One time they posted a zootopia fan comic, the Judy abortion one, which I don’t quite like it since I’m a fans of zootopia and they basically destroyed the relationship and wrote nick like an asshole. So I disliked all images in the chat (iMessage) well we usually dislike each other messages for fun, so I don’t see any problem in that.
However, the story is basically about Judy got a new girlfriend instead of boyfriend, so one of them was like “you homophobic?”
I replied 😉, well they are my friends so they should know me well that I’m not. So I kinda trolled around. After a while I was like “I was thinking about keep trolling but I don’t want you guys upset so no”
Then they started to be like “you are basically joking about hating all of us”, “sometimes is not good to joke about”, “it is like saying to a black dude am I racist”
Well first thing is I wasn’t the one who brought up this word, and it is not the first time THEY joke about I’m homophobic. Sometimes we had some arguments unrelated to sexuality and then one of them will be like “you homophobic” and then we all laughed. I don’t understand why this time I would be the one who is wrong. Especially when we are friends for long I thought they should understand. I’m kind of upset that they will think that I’m actually homophobic.
Are they too sensitive, or I’m too mean?
P.S. even tho they are asshole to me I still won’t be homophobic because of one group of people dw
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
xwRYMECg0k0JkTZRZ28VLgHe1WaHOGzU
|
ar428x
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend the way I did",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend the way I did?
|
We’d been dating for about one and a half months, it was getting serious, we were both saying “I love you” and all that jazz. I started to have some intense doubts about whether or not i actually romantically liked her, despite knowing i liked her as a friend. I eventually made plans to break up with her on february 12th; unfortunately two days before Valentine’s day. I couldn’t do it then, so even worse, I had to do it the day before. I surmised that i didnt have time to assess my feelings because of how fast the relationship moved, and that she was becoming very dependent. So, I broke up with her, sat with her for a half hour while she cried, then notified a few people close to her what had happened so they could keep an eye on her. A while later, after she had talked with an ex-friend of mine, she came back to talk to me, saying that I was a jerk for breaking up with her how I did. I recognize the whole don’t-break-up-on-Valentine’s-day thing, but would it have been better to bite the bullet and “fake it” through Valentine’s day to break up with her a while afterward, risking my own well-being?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
moutlyV5whhYQ416cFURrkxvaUVDT7Ev
|
a8kx6s
|
{
"description": "switching jobs, cashing out my old 401k and using it to pay off some debts",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for switching jobs, cashing out my old 401k and using it to pay off some debts?
|
Basically just as the title says. I recently switched jobs and I opted to cash out my old 401k rather than roll it into a new one. It’s not a ton of money, but I would be getting enough back to put a substantial amount towards debt. My wife is calling me selfish for doing that.
My credit isn’t great right now so I’m trying to get a few debts paid down, but she can only wants to use it to buy materialistic things (her credit is decent). I told her we would be happier in the long run without having to go into our checking account to keep making payments on student loans, credit cards, etc....
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
x1VznODZvhdufJvaWVsGqI0Pj9rkuz3p
|
aoybcw
|
{
"description": "cutting off old close stoner friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off old close stoner friends?
|
Context: I used to be very close with a group of friends cos we were extremely similar in all of our hobbies and life aspirations, the only difference between me and the other friends was that I was trying to fix my life problems and get better while they just, well, sat around and smoked weed all day. They'd complain about their life situations and money, but wouldn't really do anything about it. I was out of state for about 2 years, and when I come back they are still all the same. I don't really smoke much anymore and I feel like all they'll do is drag me into their complacency. So I haven't really hit them up or been truly friendly to them.
AITA for cutting them off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TNh1eDbj7nbWg209VbRyCwd0heZMIuhn
|
9tf819
|
{
"description": "being annoyed at my boyfriend for considering a family vacation",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being annoyed at my boyfriend for considering a family vacation?
|
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we keep talking about going on a long vacation together. Now his job allows 2.5 weeks of vacation time a year, and I’m fortunate to have more time off than him. Over the past year, we discussed taking a long trip to Southeast Asia or India together, and he’s been saving his days off for that. This week he just told me that his mom is offering to take him and his siblings on a trip to Europe. My immediate response was annoyance and disappointment because obviously our vacation plans won’t happen if he use his days off for a family vacation. When I expressed my feelings, his reaction was that’s too bad because he won’t turn down a free vacation. So AITA for expecting him to save his days off for our trip and not use it on a family vacation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3Ep4zbNC21SKsiBjrbAzuO2U9wA9aVk2
|
arr5yt
|
{
"description": "wanting to stay",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to stay?
|
I am currently in this situation so I need serious help. I am with a friend on a vacation to Europe that we have planned for months. Its for the week of my birthday and we planned to go see some sights and have fun. From when we get to the airport to when we arrive at the hotel it's been 24 hours. We are both tired but she is having a severe panic attack and wants to leave immediately. It's been six hours in this country and she is ready to buy tickets to go home. She is throwing up at this point and constantly crying no matter what I try to say or do. She is willing to buy the tickets back and refund me for the trip, but I have been looking forward to this trip for a while and it was supposed to take me away from the stress I have at home. Am I the asshole for wanting her to tough it out and stay for the week?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "disappointing my mom",
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|
AITA for disappointing my mom?
|
Okay, so this is a first for me. I really hate to talk about my emotions, but this time, im not sure if im right or wrong, so i have to ask someone other than me. Some important background: I love my parents, they were always there for me, until now, and i mostly relied on them for emotional support, i never talk about feelings with anyone else. Im 18 years old, and i will graduate this year. I dont have any serious motivation in life. What i strive for is always being happy, and im fine with living a quiet, happy life. Im also really emotional, and cant for the life of me mask my emotions, even when i try. My grades are okay-ish, except from physics, which im absolutely shit at. My mom started to really act cold around me the past months. I always do what she asks, but she still finds some minor stuff that i do wrong, just to scald me. I try to be happy, but it got really hard recently. School sucks, but when i get home, its always good to know that there are people here who love me. But recently my mom was just really cold, didnt talk to me much, always sighed when i tried to talk, and when i said i had a bad day, she didnt listen to me, and just said that these aernt real problems, and i will see how hard it really is, when i become an adult. Yesterday my principal called her about my physics grade, and so we sat down to talk. After scalding me for a good hour, i finally burst, and told her how i felt. I told her i feel like she doesnt really love me anymore, and is just waiting me to leave. She then told me that im a massive disappointment, and she thought i would become better. She said that i cant grow up, and what im saying isnt a real problem, im simply just a crybaby. She also told me that my problem is that im too honest, and that when i talk to a teacher i dont like, i cant mask it well, and thats why most of my teachers hate me. She aldo told me, that she heard i played a prank on a teacher (i got her to say ligma, i live in a country where most people inc, her dont speak English. So she didnt even understand what i said. I agree it was a stupid joke tho) and that now the teachers are out to get revenge on me or whatever. It might seem like im biased, so ill say that she might just be acting up, because there is some shit stuff going on at her work. So basically my question is. Should i really try to suppress emotions more, am i really a crybaby, and is this stuff really not a big deal? and is this a reasonable response to me performing not so well in school? My parents want me to be a dentist, so thats why they want better grades from me. (this account i a throwaway for obv, reasons)
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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| null |
AITA girl at school
|
i’m in 8th grade. in my art elective, it’s a small class, so i talk quite a bit. so much so that the teacher moved me away from the other 2 guys and the girl im in a friend group with, whomst’d i will call callie. a couple days later i ask my teacher if i can move back with my friends, to which she said yesyes^2. and immediately after i move back, callie instantly starts saying how it was so much better without me. she says it was a joke, but the tone in her voice said the exact opposite. after class, she came up to me and punched me in the arm. it didn’t hurt per say, but i had got hit every day that week, and i was sick of it.
in the hallway i asked her whyst she hit me, and she said i was being a jerk, when i said nothing mean to her. in order to stop myself from shanking her with a plastic knife, i sat at a different table. however by doing this, i made the others mad. because they only heard her side of the story. which made me more angry
the next day, she pretended to cry because the only guys, my friends much more than hers, were talking to me more than to her. i hate when people do things liek that and fake to cry, making me more and more upset.
later that day, both she and i made a deal with a third party to not talk about each other or to each other. i agreed because i don’t wanna talk about her, and i don’t enjoy talking about people because it happens to me so often. but i don’t care about her. she deserves this.
that monday, she talked to my friends about me about how she said my dick was small, but loud enough that she knew i could hear her. and when one of them asked how she knew, she said she just did. but thats the thing. i don’t show my dick to people. she wouldn’t know. anyway, she broke the deal. i hate people that break promises, deals, agreements, anything.
i don’t hate people. i won’t say i hate people often. unless they truly deserve it. i. despise. her.
am i the asshole for thinking this way, for saying any of this? idk. but i feel as though she deserves my hatred.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b7vn6e
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{
"description": "using my gifted socks to help. my dog",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For using my gifted socks to help. my dog?
|
(posting this for my brother who doesn't have a Reddit account) Long story short, my mother gifted me some soft socks with different fun prints for Christmas this last year. My dog, who has a scrapped up paw pad has been crying and obsessively licking it on and off for the past month. The vet recommended that we try and tape a sock to her paw to prevent her from continuing to interfere with the hearing process. The softest sock I could find was one of the ones she had gifted me. When my dog chewed through the sock to remove it so that she could again obsessively lick the wound. My mother became standoffish and said "you could have used any sock" that she got them because she thought "they would be fun". I like the socks although I do not often have an occasion to wear them, and I didn't select these socks because they were a gift but she still seems upset about it regardless. Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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|
avrbod
|
{
"description": "repeating the same mistake twice",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for repeating the same mistake twice?
|
Back in October of 2017, I decided to make a blog on Tumblr and I met... let's call them A. After a bit of interaction, I noticed there was some drama on A's blog and decided to try and comfort them. A became a very close friend of mine and after 3 months, we started dating.
Any little thing could make A upset and I always felt like I had to be careful of what to say. I broke up with them and in December, told them I didn't want to talk to them anymore. I apologized the next day but pulled the exact same stunt two weeks later. Apologized again but A said they needed time and space. A had sent me messages here and there during this. I thought it was okay so I started messaging them but A constantly ignored me. A told me that they still wanted me to be able to vent to them with my problems if I needed.
I made sure they were online. I asked if could vent and A said I could. I wrote things down and just wanted someone to hear me out and be comforted. A disappeared for 4 hours. I deleted the messages 2 hours after sending it, I wanted to cry and head to bed. In the morning they explained their situation. What I had sent was overwhelming for them and they ignored me on purpose due to that. I apologized once more. I didn't want to say anything a being angry at them but after that, A said they were ANGRY at ME, That I shouldn't delete my messages because "it stresses me out more!" And "stop apologizing for bothering me! You're not! That stresses me more!" My anger subsided in the moment and I felt even worse. They apologized for ignoring me in a not very sincere way.
I kept trying to keep check up with them and when I saw that they had entered another relationship, even tho hey said that they would be taking time to heal from ours and that they won't rush into another one, I sent them a message saying congrants. I was really anxious for messaging them so I stared at the screen for a long time.
[A is typing a message]
I waited... I know A had seen the message. I went into panic mode and started deleting the messages, accidentally pinning one. I panicked even more and just started deleting everything, unfriending them in a panic. I had fucked myself over as their messages were only set to friends. So now I had no way of contacting them at all. I didn't talk to them at ALL after this.
A month has passed since that incident and I was lonely and wanted to say hi, to shake off those thoughts that A hated me. I sent them an ask and A's BF sent me a message saying it was from A. They said they were SICK of me, that they made it clear by blocking me on all platforms possible (I wasn't even aware. All I knew at that time was that they wanted space and time to heal.). That they wanted me to stop pursuing them and more, making it seem like I was being an asshole towards them. I don't understand what I did that upset them to this point. After some words from me, I blocked A's BF.
I'm close to 15 now... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b5ro5e
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{
"description": "ending my friendship because my shy friend doesn't talk to me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for ending my friendship because my shy friend doesn't talk to me?
|
It sounds like I'm the asshole but hear me out. I became friends with this silent girl when I first started the university. Let's call her Susan. It was the first year, so we made different friends at the end of the year. However her friend failed the class and she started to sit near me in the classroom again. I introduced her to my close friend, let's call her Jane, and we started to hang out as a trio. I and Jane were both talkative, so when all of us were together we were making the most of the conversations. Susan was still silent. We tried to make her talk. She should be talking with us at least. Because we told everything about our lives to her but we barely knew her. It wasn't fair.
A lot of things happened but let's fast-forward to the last year. We had a thesis and we had to read articles in English, because there was no research that was done in our country about that subject. Yet Susan was not helping. She was always saying: "your English is better than mine, I can't understand the articles". She was not even trying. I could speak English but I also didn't understand articles at the beginning. With reading a lot, Jane and I started to be more competent about the subject we were working on. Our professor was delighted but she wasn't seeing Susan's lack of effort. Moreover, she wasn't listening us when we were talking even in daily things like what we should eat when we get home. She was always on her phone and it was driving us crazy.
Long story to short, we were *close* friends but she never shared anything about her life or her thoughts, never did anything that she didn't want to, even if that means we would have to do her parts in the projects, never listened us enough to care. And we were *close* but when I had some tough times, she didn't even call even though she knew and that was the final straw. I ended our friendship. I know shy people struggle to communicate but I don't think she's that shy. I think she's just using her shyness as an excuse. I always felt that she didn't care for us in the same way we cared for her, so after ending our friendship, I felt relieved. Now, am I the asshole for leaving that shy, lonely girl by herself?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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b4iw3r
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{
"description": "wanting to take niece to a concert without her parents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to take niece to a concert without her parents?
|
Niece (my brothers daughter) is turning 9. For her birthday me and my Mom are hoping to take her to a concert nearby for a singer she loves. The paternal side of the family have hardly ever done anything with my niece without her parents, however the maternal side (my brothers wife’s side) have taken her to countless places without my brother and his wife. Another example of being treated differently is that this year we wanted to go on a big family holiday but my SIL stated that long haul isn’t appropriate for her young son, yet she is going to the exact same destination with her side of the family next year. My sister in law has a great relationship with my parents, and it’s decent with me. I’m not her biggest fan but I don’t make this outwardly known. I made my suggestion to my brother regarding the concert and he asked if his wife is invited. I did want it to just be me and my Mom treating my niece and having our own quality time with her, but found it hard to put it across without it seeming like my sister in law isn’t invited. So I said she’s obviously invited but I can’t afford to pay for her too, and that we are happy to take her on our own the same way her side of the family does and I am now awaiting their response. AITA for wanting my Mom and I to take my niece to the concert without my sister in law?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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askbd6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to listen to my friend's problems",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to listen to my friend's problems?
|
So I met a girl on internet around 3-4 years ago, she quickly became one of my best friends even though we've never met each other and we live pretty far away.
We met when we were 15/16 years old and on a point of our lives where everything was bad, so we would rant and complain about our lives but make each other laugh at the same, that was our way of bonding. We would listen to each others problems and give advice if we asked. It was really nice having someone to understand and actually listen to me, specially at that age.
So now that we're in college, everything seemed to go well until, long story short, I didn't get into the college I wanted or the career I wanted to study, but she did. She started hanging out with new friends and I'm really proud of her because she's always been a shy person.
Everything was going well for her for a while, until she started having problems with her roommates.
I've always been a good listener, and like I always do, I listened to what was the problem. It turned out to be a tiny thing that could be solved easily, but it continued and I told her that if her roommates bothered her so much, she should try and ask for a change.
Anyway... it's always small things, but she never. Stops. Complaining. I can't talk to her because she keeps playing the victim in every little problem she has. And I've told her that multiple times (without being rude ofc). Every time she texts me it's because she feels sad, angry, frustrated, etc., and I just can't take it anymore.
I'm not in a good place in my life right now, so even reading about how her day wasn't good (which is every day), or how she had a fight with someone, or how toxic her friend is annoys me and ruines my whole day.
I can't just stop being her friend because I love her and I don't want to throw years of friendship in the trash and she's going to get more upset and I feel like if I stopped being friends with her, I would be ungrateful because years ago she used to be my rock.
Pd: sorry if i have any mistakes, English isn't my first language
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b91dil
|
{
"description": "eating lunch without my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for eating lunch without my girlfriend?
|
On Sunday, my girlfriend said she wanted to surprise me with a gift at noon for today. She wouldn't tell me what the gift is so I assumed it was something like a card she wrote for me (our anniversary is coming up and she loves arts and crafts).
The next day, I accidentally spoiled a TV series for her that she was watching and she got mad at me. She texted me "Don't talk to me". I apologized, saying I didn't know she didn't get up to that part yet and she left me on seen. I think alright, she'll get over this later. She never responded back so I got petty for her ignoring me for something I didn't mean to do intentionally.
We had no contact since then (until today) and I thought she was still upset with me so I went out to grab lunch with my coworkers a little before noon. She messages me at noon, telling me she's downstairs and to pick up her gift for me. I told her I went out for food because I didn't think she would still pull through today because she was mad and ignored me. She told me to pick it up anyway.
I got my food to go, met up with her, and picked up my gift. I asked her what it was but she wouldn't tell me. She looked sad, which I assumed was because she thought I was upset with her (I was because she ignored me for 2 days). I hugged her and she started crying and that made me feel really bad but she told me it was ok and she left. I went back to work, ate my food, then looked at the gift (it was in a big bag) and found out that it was food for two. She planned on eating lunch with me but because she didn't tell me anything beforehand and I was being petty, I ended up eating my own lunch before opening her gift and finding out it was food for the both of us.
I feel terrible because she was probably looking forward to it today but she ended up leaving sad and hungry. AITA for eating my own lunch because she didn't specify she got me food as a gift?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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axvEbxJ7UV5QlGn2lkZnD96HTQfvRzt0
|
arckeu
|
{
"description": "not wanting to see my dying grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to see my dying grandmother?
|
In March of 2018, I lost my father to cancer. He was battling it for a little over a year and it was very severe. In December before he died, I flew to see him and we had a good couple of last days together (I live in the US, he lived in Israel). I didn't go to his funeral because I was at university and I knew he would have wanted me to prioritize my education over flying halfway across the world for his funeral. My aunt and I feuded over this, as she thought I should have been there for the rest of my family (in person), but we resolved it. In August of 2018, my maternal grandmother died unexpectedly and I did fly for her funeral (in Ukraine) as I didn't have school at the time. My paternal grandmother became extremely depressed after my father's death. She hid it for a long time, acting fine on the surface and starving herself in secret. I visited her this summer and we had a great time together, going to places and doing lots of things. Right now she is in the hospital with my aunt (her daughter). My next school break is in March, and I was planning on visiting her then (she lives in Moscow), but now I'm not so sure if that's a good idea. She's the type of person to feel guilty about not being able to do things for me or go places with me. Plus, her daughter is there with her. It's extremely likely that she will die soon, she's on kidney dialysis and not really in the mood to keep living in general. Is it wrong to want her last memory of us together to be us doing things together, not me at the hospital basically waiting for her to pass... I don't know if my thinking is selfish because I'm so emotionally exhausted from all these deaths, I want to remove myself from them as much as possible, but I'm scared I'll make an unwise decision. My mom thinks I'm an asshole for even considering not right now to be with her. So, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ai2yo2
|
{
"description": "not wanting my flatmate's FWB in the house after we slept together",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting my flatmate's FWB in the house after we slept together
|
So, this story all starts when me and a co-worker where placed abroad together, we get along most of the times, others not so much, this was our first big fight only after two months into living together.
We'd just moved in with a third girl who had been living in the appartment for longer and we mostly got along, our upstairs neighboors were three boys who used to work with us aswell. She had a bit of a crush on two of the boys and would often joke I could have the third. I had just came out of a complicated situation with a guy back in my home country so I would dismiss it and say I would pass.
One week arrived in which both my flatmates were going to be away to visit family and friends so I'd be alone in the house and in the country for the first time. The day before said flatmate went she got into going for a walk with one of the guys from upstairs, which resulted in kissing, according to her. Not according to him.
The day she left me and him went to bring her to the airport to say goodbye and found some more friends on the way over, we were all going to be off the next day so we decided to go out and get wasted. Since I was alone, we started the night in my appartment and finished there, where in the end it was just the two of us and it happened. We agreed not to tell anything to her, but while She was away she'd text me how she missed him and wanted to come back to him, and etc.. so when She came back I told her the truth..
She seemed mad at him first, but didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. I gave her space, and thought we'd talk better the next days. We didn't. She started completly ignoring me, when She would adress me she would be pretty nasty, and just the day after she came back and I told her what happened she went and started sleeping with him. It didn't bother me then, but it bothered our other flatmate.
It really only started to bother me when he started spending the night over, without any notice from anyone. He slept in 3 nights in a row and he would come to wait for her in our appartment when she was at work. I talked with him that it made me unconfortable, and we talked to her about it. She just told me that it was her house, she was paying rent and She would bring home whoever she wanted and I could do the same.
One day she went over his place and left me alone for hours, as I was already used to at this point, she only texted me to tell me to order pizza. I told her we could order with the guys. She told me not to be with them. That day I got done. I felt like a criminal, being punished while my "partner in crime" was being rewarded. Meanwhile I couldn't even be with my friends because She didn't want to.
I told her to get home to talk. She told me she was being mean, yes but because I betrayed her trust, by sleeping with someone I knew She was into, and on top of that trying to impose living rules to fit my feelings on it...
Some time has passed since then, we now live only the two of us and moved passed it. But everytime she gets the chance she throws a jab on how I was a awful person then, so.. Am I really the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
p0ENA0Gn4uMIIlpU6ODKnfwSmCAMCgjV
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ak8bmz
|
{
"description": "calling my brown girlfriend burnt",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for calling my brown girlfriend burnt? [UPDATE]
|
I’ve read all of your comments and taken some time to think. In all honesty I’m ashamed of the way I acted, and looking back I can’t believe I tried to defend myself. I think growing up around a racist family has impacted me in ways that I didn’t realise. I spoke to her about the incident and I apologized. We both started crying. She wants to take a break from the relationship, rightfully so. I’ve messaged my family and told them that I won’t be speaking to them anymore until they get their shit together. I’m heartbroken but I don’t blame her. I just hope that I can win her back. Thanks for educating me.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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ad80a0
| null |
AITA? - Over a watch
|
My wife (nurse) of 18 years with two teens has always put the needs of others before her own family and I have patiently dealt with it over our entire marriage.
Recently my wife asked me to sell an item she left for me in a brown paper bag on my desk - nothing else was said. When I opened the bag it was a mens wrist watch.
Upon questioning my wife as to the watches origin, she responded it was her girlfriend’s item. My wife’s girlfriend is having financial and marital problems.
Upon further questioning, my wife admitted it was her girlfriend’s husband’s wrist watch (a former policeman and sort of friend of mine as well). I flipped out since it became obvios they were covertly selling the pricey watch to cash out.
I questioned my wife’s loyalty and willingness to throw me under the bus so to help her girlfriend since I had no clue of the scheme and would never take part in such.
I responded by asking my wife to return the item to its owner immediately or I would do it myself.
This situation occurred 12 months ago and I have not slept in the same room with my wife since and I am contemplating divorce.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b3y8xg
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{
"description": "being annoyed when wife is chewing loud af",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being annoyed when wife is chewing loud af
|
Never ever noticed this before. But as I an writing this, we are watching TV and my wife is eating dinner...chomping away and every bite is loud af.
For some reason, every bite my wife makes I want to punch something, even myself.
I'm about to say something and theres no right/easy way to bring this up, but aita for letting it bug me out like this?
I dont even want to hang out or be in the same room!!!
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zQ97BJqvdeQfC26uarkD7Vq85EBUFNEn
|
axrx14
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my brothers wedding",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my brothers wedding?
|
Having a really hard time landing on a decision with this, need some advice/perspective other than mine.
My brother has his wedding planned for this spring at a very expensive all inclusive resort in the Caribbean. 6 months ago he informed my sisters and I that he was already married and had eloped at his city hall 6 months prior (just celebrated his one year anniversary). It’s my understanding that it’s common/necessary for couples to do this before an all inclusive wedding because they need to be officially married in the country they live in so I understand and congratulated them excitedly.
My partner and I live comfortably but on a budget. The resort package cost for a week was going to be $1900 (each), we live two hours from the international airport so we would also have travel and parking costs, as well as boarding fees for our pup. Overall this is significantly more than we would ever pay for a vacation, so that, accompanied with it not even being a destination we would have picked alone made it an immediate stress. We decided to look at other options and are currently planning on booking for only the weekend of the ceremony but that only reduces our per person total to $1100 each and shortens the boarding time/cost for the dog by a few days. Still more than I want to pay but when I suggested to friends that we might not go I was met with a lot of “what’s!?” and “really’s!?”.
So I don’t know help me out, AITA if we don’t go? Would you hold a grudge against your sibling in a similar situation? Am I obligated to go? Thanks for your time and opinions ❤️
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
eDNglL9S3WSKXYbwSF5NXMqZbAIX7pK7
|
aqzie7
|
{
"description": "telling my so not to let her mother borrow money from her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For telling my SO not to let her mother borrow money from her?
|
1st time poster. I’m nervous. Go easy on me.
SO and I have been dating for 6 years (plan to get married, for a ring, proposing soon). I am currently employed, living fairly. Her mother is currently employed, living prolly the same level. Her stepfather owns a construction company, so work is contract and not always around (he’s kind of lazy about finding new work).
My SO is in Law School, and there’s the catch. She has already racked up a whopping $90k+ in student loan debt, and she still has a year to go, plus the BAR, so more debt to come. Her mother has borrowed money from her before for reasons such as risk of eviction, and repo of car, which my SO states is due to her own mother’s mismanagement of funds, and the fact her stepfather isn’t the best at helping (and that couple fights quite often). Both the residence and the car are in my SO’s Mother’s name, as they were purchased before she married the step father. Her mother has always paid her back, though the timing of how long that took is a bit hazy. This time around she borrowed around $1200, which was all my SO had saved for eventual paying off loans, rainy day fund, etc. and her mother enticed her saying she would pay her back MORE than what was owed (amount unspecified, maybe $100-$200). I was told this last night and she already knows how I feel about her mother borrowing money from her.
So AITA?
Tl;dr
SO’s mother is borrowing money from my SO, but my SO is currently in school with a $90k+ student loan with a year left in school to go. AITA for telling her she shouldn’t do that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
HpIkchwwltLsuy7WIEBtzZRzfNUDO3tc
|
a1w6d9
|
{
"description": "thinking my friend is a lazy twat for not taking our project seriously",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking my friend is a lazy twat for not taking our project seriously.
|
He had an idea to make a Christmas EP, So I agreed. Now, we have 11 days left until we finish it. So far, he has only shown me a loop of something. While I did have a bit of something (which I’ve already showed him)
I told him many times that we could always postpone it for next year because so far, WE both haven’t got anything completely done. He said no, and told me I’m the only one who haven’t got anything done.
This seriously pissed me off. I’m really busy with school and I don’t wanna have to put effort into something he’s not even taking seriously.
I really wanna tell him to fuck off and quit the project but I feel like that would be too harsh. Am I the asshole for thinking of it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eZ3kgYYtFNHPaVME1EWeyX7URxgeYu7L
|
b1rx0l
|
{
"description": "accidentally kicking my friend during taekwondo training",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for accidentally kicking my friend during taekwondo training?
|
So me and my friend were talking and I just practiced some kicks and one of them unintentionally landed on his face near his eye and broke his glasses. He cried a bit and his mom got called here.
I apologised and she was calm about it. I know I was too close to him and I'm going to pay for the glasses. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
269vy4LsBOYloZoTjVJytLiKi2pNOCi8
|
ao4luv
|
{
"description": "lying about being gay to reject date offers",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for lying about being gay to reject date offers?
|
16 M in high school. A lot of my friends are girls because my interests are a bit varied for a dude. I like video games and sports, but I also love Rom-Coms, photography, theater etc. I'm definitely straight, and I've had a lot of crushes over the years, but I feel like dating is a time investment. My parents are fairly chill, and actually encourage me to ask people out. They are almost always a bit sad when I reject people, which I feel bad about, but I'm sure they don't care too much. I've rejected 3 people so far, all of whom I liked quite a bit, just because I don't feel like spending time going on dates or prom or stuff when I could sit at home. I also feel like this time would detract from my school work. I want to get into an Ivy League like my sister and my mom did. Otherwise I don't know how I can look them in the eye every day. I'll just be a disappointment to my family if I end up at a lower tier school. I feel like if I explain this to the people I reject, it would sound weird, so I just tell them I'm gay (which they believe).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
pxpDPDLOMn8RahFOZtskWddS4BO1Lsln
|
arl2rt
|
{
"description": "wanting to pay value price for a car from my parents, even though I really owe them",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to pay value price for a car from my parents, even though I really owe them?
|
Okay, a bit of a multi-layered story but I’ll try to be brief. TL;DR below.
In high school, I sold a 95 Mazda mx6 that my parents had gifted me at 15, and a Honda 500 bike that my dad and I had originally split. I used this money to pay off most of a Jetta, and my parents covered the rest for my graduation gift. fast forward many years and my Jetta finally dies. I mean, this thing literally went down in flames. Insurance gave us 3500 for it, and I set out looking for a new car. While looking, my mom let me drive her 94 Jeep Wrangler, which was so awesome of her.
After a couple of months of looking, we found an 07 Jeep Compass online for 6500. I loved it. We ended up paying 6k, and with the insurance money, came to a bottom line of 2500. My grandmother had recently passed, and the buying of this car happened to coincide with my parents selling her house. So, knowing I was already struggling to make ends meet as a single public school teacher with massive loan debt, my parents decided to use some of that house money to just cover the car. (“Don’t tell your siblings” my mom joked).
It should be noted here that my family and I all have a great, open relationship, and that I’m the only sibling of three with massive student loan debt. The other two do extremely well for themselves for not having taken the same educational route as I did, and are consequently in a much better financial place than I am. I’m also the only single person without a family, so I really struggle to make ends meet every month.
Anyways, a couple of weeks ago, I was in an accident and totaled the Compass. Insurance is paying out 3000 for it, and I’m terrified to have to take on a car payment right now. There is literally no room in my shoe string budget for it. So, my mom offered me the Wrangler in exchange for the insurance money. But here’s the rub, the Jeep is definitely not worth three thousand dollars.
I looked up the KBB value, and compared it with same and similar vehicles selling in the area, and it’d be more in the 2000-2500 range, tops. I know that I owe my parents immensely for all of their help over the years, and I would kind of feel like an asshole for nickel and dimeing them over this. I actually think my parents would find it very reasonable if I asked them if they’d take 2500 and just let me keep 500 for bills, especially with some recent financial hits that I’ve taken. They know my financial situation transparently, and they’re very stable financially, with multiple properties and assets.
But I just want to know how much of an asshole I would really be to not just let them keep all 3000 of the money just because I’m not in a financially stable place?
TL;DR my parents want to sell me a Jeep for about 750$ over its value. I could really use that money, but my parents have saved my ass so many times over the years, that I want to know if I’d be the asshole for trying to haggle it down from them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
qdfk0nkgy6pbAsY3eGk5lSdZkXoggXGc
|
awyq94
|
{
"description": "potentially driving a friend away",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for potentially driving a friend away?
|
First time posting here, and on Reddit in general, so apologies in advance in advance for any errors in formatting/posting.
So, a bit of background on my friend (18M) and I (18M) have known each other for a few years. We used to be quite good friends but I developed a one-sided crush on them, needless to say things became awkward between us and eventually I decided it would be best for us to stop talking, we didn't talk for around 1 year and I figured that was it for us.
Recently he got back in touch with me and we started talking again. Things were awkward at first but I was determined to try and work past it. One night I decided to ask him where he thought our friendship would go in the future and he told me it was better if we didn't bring up the conversation again, that decision upset me though I didn't voice it and instead simply agreed to not mention it again.
After that I decided I wanted to see him in person again and we arranged to meet up at his house, the day went smoothly and we played games and then went out for a walk while talking to one another. When it got late I was getting ready to go home and we hugged, though after that he told me I was bad at picking up on social cues, when I asked him what he meant later he told me he didn't remember. This again upset me but I decided not to voice it yet again.
The next day I questioned him on something. I had previously asked him if he wanted to stay round mine and he agreed to it, the day after we were round his he told me he didn't want to stay round anymore as things were still awkward. I told him I wanted there to be full honesty between us, I was again upset by his actions, this time it was because he had lied to me. That evening he told me that we don't see each other the same in this friendship and that we should stop talking, I've tried to contact him since but I've just been ignored and this whole ordeal has made me miserable.
I keep wondering if I had simply moved too fast, that I should have given him more space and that it was me who was making things awkward. So, AITA for moving too quickly and potentially driving him away?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yGCBL0KUKRNnJFxV8Jah2hJ4axDWuWNz
|
b1k90f
|
{
"description": "telling my friend his text message tone is annoying",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friend his text message tone is annoying
|
I honestly don't even know how I can represent this as a serious conversation. If I've ever lost a friend over something dumber it's truly beyond me but here we go....
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Discord, it's a program pc gamers use for voice communication. But it can also be used for voice communication in groups socially as well. Earlier today a friend of mine was talking to me in a lobby and we were about to start playing a game. We were sitting in the lobby talking for a few minutes. I currently am on day 5 of having the flu. My temperature has finally broken, but I still am not feeling very stellar. But I felt ok enough to get up and play some games today. As we were setting up my friend began to receive text messages on his phone. He has a very loud tone with a minions voice saying woohoo text message. If you would care to listen to it, this is a clip of how it sounds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPObfg7o0jk
The sound went off 3 times in about 2 minutes, and honestly it wasn't a big deal. But it's loud especially when you're wearing headphones and his phone is either very close to his mic, or it's just that loud. On the 3rd time I said "Man, that sound really is annoying". And honestly, that was it for me. But it set my friend off. He said he was tired of being nit picked and bitched at. Now I do understand that because of this statement it does mean that he's holding onto some other thing that was said at some other point. But all I can tell you is that if there was it was from a completely different day because we both just got online.
I know that bc I'm sick I'm very likely moody or whiny. But Jesus, is that really so awful to complain about? I mean I've heard other people comment about it before. Was I supposed to just ignore it?
I'm honestly stunned at how dumb this all sounds typing it out but I'm in the situation and I feel like I'm definitely right here. But I know this guy feels he's right too. So I figured i'd bring my stupidity to you for judgment.
So have at it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
lkeO1tTpEQb3AHrhVWNxFsqJcne9ang7
|
apm6ip
|
{
"description": "opening a Chevy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For opening a Chevy?
|
I work as a cart pusher at Walmart, so I'm in the parking lot most of my day. One day this lady and her family show up in a truck. They also have a dog, which they leave in the truck. It was a cold day so I wasn't worried about the animal overheating. The lady's family got her a mobility scooter, and when she got on it and was on her way, the dog jumped on the lock and locked all doors in the truck. When they got out of the store, they found themselves locked out. She called roadside assistance, but they wouldn't help for some reason. The manager talked to them briefly, then did nothing. I tried to help them, we didn't have any wire hangers so I bought this marshmallow toaster thing (to make smores I guess) It was made of wire to impale marshmallows. I handed it to them and said they should see if they could bend it, the wire was too thick. So on my break I used a lockpicking kit (that I had in case I locked myself out of something) to open it for them. I was called in to the back office to talk to the manager. She gave me an official warning and said that it was against company policy. I was told not to do it again. When my grandfather (who I live with) found out he got pissed at me for not following the policy. My family thinks I shouldn't have done that. I thought what I was doing was the right thing to do. Am I the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
95HJPhF55OXFIeJDG2paZObf62HCFeE3
|
amzgqg
|
{
"description": "feeling uncomfortable seeing other people's self-harm scars",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling uncomfortable seeing other people's self-harm scars?
|
A few months ago, there was this girl that sat next to me in class. From the conversations I've had with her, she seems to be the type to say 'oh I'm crazy' and things like that.
Now, it was around October, and since the weather wasn't too cold, she was wearing short sleeves. Now here's where the problem comes along: she had self-harm scars on her forearms, but it wasn't just that. They were fresh, the blood was still scabbing over and red. I was so uncomfortable at that moment but I was too shy to say anything.
Months later, the situation was brought back into my mind when I discovered this subreddit's existence. And boy do I feel SHITTY for being uncomfortable. My friend tells me I'm the asshole for even feeling like that, since I don't know what that girl's been through. I kinda feel like since it was just a feeling (I didn't think anything bad, I was just kind of unnerved) and I didn't actually do anything that I'm not the asshole, but I still feel shitty. (Although, that girl was in NO way to blame, which is why I thought that it would be rude to move seats)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nMSlJuQx0UfgcaUytLLsfqD85BmhqQrE
|
b1f374
|
{
"description": "asking people to pay a portion ($5 or less) for my birthday party at a laser tag arena",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked people to pay a portion ($5 or less) for my birthday party at a laser tag arena?
|
Throwaway.
I want to have a birthday party and we can get an all day group discount, so would I be the asshole for asking people to pay a small portion for their admission? I would be paying the vast majority of it.
Presents will not be required, and I am paying for the food.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Y7azvfcFrMGTuEBVIJsfRCSCx8ldXzhJ
|
aofyl2
|
{
"description": "leaving my wife for the weekend while a snowstorm will hit our area",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA leaving my wife for the weekend while a snowstorm will hit our area?
|
I've had plans for a month+ now to get together with friends this weekend. However, due to recent weather changes, there is a snowstorm that is coming through our area this weekend and I was still planning on leaving for the weekend as originally planned, but I feel guilty for leaving my wife alone in the snowstorm by herself while I'm off having fun with my friends. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3uZOozQX4qtZnxaAj5lsfPRuBXGdhwGV
|
ac7gt1
|
{
"description": "saying this phrase to my so",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for saying this phrase to my SO?
|
Background information: Long distance relationship of 3 years. I am male 30s, she is female mid 20s (Blue circle messages). The phrase "You're a CS student and ... " was said by me very early in the relationship about 2.5 years ago. The censored word was a foreign language word, which translates to "My love". The two parts of the conversation are shown verbatim in screenshot.
https://imgur.com/a/rPUGtjj
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
gLNYFw63VtPYEmdGpFQ9hOltcUr6MNsG
|
as1z2t
|
{
"description": "telling me wife she was either not listening to me or lying to me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA the asshole for telling me wife she was either not listening to me or lying to me?
|
Long story short, my wife and I had an argument. It's not important what the argument was about, but to her it was something small and meaningless, while to me it was something a lot more important, which I felt incredibly strongly about, and she knew this. To be fair and to try and give an honest retelling, it's definitely possible she knew, but didn't realize just how important it was to me.
Towards the end of the argument she said things like "OK, so I won't do it again" and "I didn't understand, I didn't know you felt that this was that important to you".
Then, her last sentence, after we had gone several rounds, hashed things out quite thoroughly and this had pretty much blown over, was along the lines of "Look at how upset you got over such a small thing". At that point I told her that either she wasn't listening to me when I told her how important this was to me, or she was lying when she told me she understood. This of course kicked off a new argument.
Was I an asshole for saying the sentence which kicked off the second argument?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4Ls1lJGxlphRDlO4gqQByozLNNxNo7AK
|
b5q2ki
|
{
"description": "driving off from McDonalds after my brother was rude to the cashier",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for driving off from McDonalds after my brother was rude to the cashier?
|
AITA for driving off from McDonalds after my brother was rude to the cashier?
​
This happened last night.
​
So a little backstory, my older brother wanted to tag along to somewhere I was going and I said I was going to pick up McDonald's for dinner and asked if he wanted anything. He said no he had just eaten and was stuffed. No problem there. He is also a server at a nice italian restaraunt, which comes up later.
​
So we go to our event, which lasts 2 hours max. We're walking back to the car and he says "I'm super hungry, we should grab some Mcdonald's or something." I said "Bro I literally just offered you McDonald's." So I was kind of annoyed right off the bat.
​
But anyways I'm driving him home and agreed to go through the drive-thru for him. I told him he can order since I'm not getting anything. The cashier comes on the speaker and asks what he wants.
​
He asks for a hot fudge sundae, and she says the ice cream machine is down. He immediately says in a condescending voice "It's down? It's 8:48 PM.". I was like"Dude. don't be a jerk." So he asks the cashier if he can do a smoothie and she says yes, but she clearly sounds annoyed. He orders some fries too, and she gives the total and says to drive up.
​
I said "You realize this makes ME look like an asshole now right?" because I was the one driving, and she wouldn't have known it was him ordering. He just tried to play it off and say "Haha, but it WAS you who said it!"
​
So instead of going to the window I immediately left and he didn't pay for or get his food. He said he was joking and asked me to go back and I said no. I just headed towards his house. I've gone out to other restaraunts with him before and it always surprises me how rude he can be towards food workers when he himself is server.
​
He made some excuse about it and I said "I would think as a server, you would know food service workers don't want to be yelled at for things that aren't their fault." And he was again quiet after that, and I dropped him off.
​
When I got home he sent me text saying he was hangry and wasn't thinking straight and thanks fr helping him save $10. I responded no worries, sorry I drove off.
​
I told my wife when I got home and she thought it was super funny, and that I was a bit of an asshole but not entirely in the wrong.
​
So what do you think, AITA in this scenario?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
xN2Kbeg3KTZckUp3D78BD0ovoOYMdnPO
|
apajtd
|
{
"description": "yelling \"fuck off\" to my friend in class",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for yelling "Fuck off" to my friend in class?
|
So ok this is my last post for today. I at high school and i was in class when my friend eric just wouldnt leave me alone.
We were doing history and while this was happening he was behind me trying to speak to me, Launch paper balls at me, And kick my seat.
a few minutes during class and it keeps going on. And on. And on.
Finally a few minutes before the bell rings, He keeps doing it SOOOOO much
i finally turn back and i say in a medium loud tone.
"Eric, Fuck right off." and sit back down.
And i was suspended for a day but eric still texted me.
Then next time we were in math he was completely silent. And i felt super bad.
​
AITA for doing this?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
9UoU5W2eWIN6uloLkotpMWzNelFGO8Jp
|
b2sok7
|
{
"description": "blaring my alarm really loud in the morning to make my flatmate as sleep deprived as me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I blared my alarm really loud in the morning to make my flatmate as sleep deprived as me?
|
I have this flatmate - let's call him Jim. I live with Jim and two others in a shared apartment. Jim and I have two separate bedrooms next to each other on one side of the apartment, while the other two have their own bedrooms on the other side. So it's only me who hears anything from Jim's room at night.
Jim has the tendency to stay up until 3 to 4 AM playing video games with his friends very loudly. I've asked him to at least keep quiet after 2 AM two times already, but both times he's lasted less than a month before starting back up again.
He's complained that since his gaming friends are mostly European and he usually has classes in the afternoon he can only play with them in the middle of the night,. He's also made passive aggressive comments in the group chat about how "the Internet is so much better in the middle of the night." and has lashed at out me for doing simple things like asking him to clean his dirty dishes after they've sat in the sink for a week.
I'm getting the sense that confronting him directly a third time will just start something and I would rather not live in fear of retaliation when our doors don't have locks. I'm already leaving the apartment in less than two months, but finals season is next month and I don't want to be sleep deprived during that.
I've tried earplugs, but I can still hear him through them. I've tried listening to music, but I can't get to sleep. Sometimes I manage to sleep, but then I'm jolted awake because my earplugs or earphones fall out during the night and I hear one of his screeches.
Since I have 8 AM classes every day and have to wake up anyways, I was thinking of leaving my alarm blaring at full volume for the 15-30 minutes it takes for me to get ready, figuring if he's forced awake as early as I am, he won't stay up so late.
I know it's kinda a dick move, but I'm just so tired. Literally. WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
qKhs2iKXi5Hnq42tkB9sJeMy0dxGFObt
|
b1xda9
|
{
"description": "expecting my husband to not walk away every time we have a minor disagreement",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for expecting my husband to not walk away every time we have a minor disagreement
|
This is something that makes me very mad. Every time we start having a heated conversation, instead of talking about it he just decides the conversation is going to be done and walks away.
It really bothers me because I feel like it’s disrespectful and it’s equivalent to saying that he doesn’t give a shit about what I have to say if I’m not agreeing with him.
It’s just the way he copes with being in a tense situation (by choosing to not cope with it) but I don’t think it’s productive, and the only thing it accomplishes is making my blood boil which escalates the situation.
In my mind people can have a conversation like adults and even disagree and it’s normal and healthy for every one to have the opportunity to state their opinion.
Because the way that we choose to cope with problems is just different, I can’t tell if I’m just mad so it SEEMS like he’s being immature and a jerk, or if I’m the asshole for expecting him to deal with things the way that I would.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Z2QnpxaOR4MY9aDsu8wEzki111sazzw6
|
aaijwe
|
{
"description": "not going to a party with my so",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I don't go to a party with my SO
|
I saved up $5k for our trip to his home country for xmas break. Some of his friends speak a tiny bit of English. I was looking forward to this trip for ages, but now that I'm here I am feeling homesick and I'm also physically sick with a cold/migraines.
He wants me to go to a party with him tonight. H hates going to stuff without me. Even though I don't know anyone there and no one will be conversational in English.
He is a really sweet and understanding person, so he wouldn't be upset if I told him I don't want to go. But when we talked about it today (well yesterday now) I could see that he would be disappointed.
I try to make an effort to speak their language, the pathetic amount I know, but every time I get extremely anxious and feel a panic attack coming on. So yesterday I just sat there, blanking out trying to ignore my migraine, this newfound crippling anxiety, and my homesickness.
It's so beautiful here.. I want to be a good girlfriend and I want his friends to like me. So far it's been so emotionally exhausting for me. I need a chill pill but I just constantly feel this, "what the fuck is going on" feeling. I'm paranoid about whether I'm following cultural standards or if I'm too quiet.
I ask my SO if he can interpret for me since he's bilingual, but usually he says "Ask them in English" or encourages me to try to speak in their language. But I get so nervous because I am not used to being bad at a language. But when I try his suggestions it doesn't always go well, and I feel sick to my stomach. I don't understand what's happening to me.
TL;DR
I don't want go to a party with my s.o where I'll have a really bad language barrier that gives me really intense anxiety.
Am I an asshole if I want to stay back?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
Kk6529yQkcPoDRDvyGhwOQmlBiSAB5lg
|
ai19en
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go skiing with my family twice a week",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go skiing with my family twice a week?
|
My mom just decided that we are going to go skiing twice a week, me, my sister, my step dad, and my mom. I dont enjoy skiing, I am good at it but I dont enjoy it. I have told her several times now that im introverted and she will not listen for the life of her. Im not very active and I prefer to stay in my room because a number of reasons, however I have been trying to be more healthy lately by drinking no soda (it gives me excrutiating heartburn so thats another reason), mostly water, eating less often (trying only 3 times a day, no snacks).
We have gone skiing once a year for the past 2 years, now suddenly she wants to do it twice a week, and im the only one not on board. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7FnibRczq0BPNtV18cbP7f3yHQTbeg7p
|
al7qqn
|
{
"description": "ostracizing one of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ostracizing one of my friends
|
For some context, I am a senior in high school and I have broken off all contacts with a previous friend. We used to be great friends from when we were Young, but because of certain actions she's taken I now avoid her.
First off when we were still on good terms we would talk and joke about many things, however she would tend to gossip about other friends. While she wasn't necessarily rude and disrespectful some comments were a bit disconcerting.
Secondly during our sophomore year in high school we made plans to go to our winter formal as friends. However the day before she informed me she was no longer going and was going with someone else. Granted we decided to go as friends and I was perfectly fine with her going with someone she liked, but it was hurtful to be informed so late.
During that same year she was having some car trouble and I helped her jump start her car. However the next day I learned that the car I helped jump-start was not hers and that she ran away out of state. well I was not punished since I knew nothing of her plan, I felt betrayed in a sentence since she used me like that.
During our junior year she was having some trouble with her family. And her personality seemed to change. She started to have some falling outs with my other friends, And her comments on people became more vindictive. We still talked and hang out but there was always this growing sense of dread in the back of my mind.
During this current year we have not talked much due to school work and getting ready for college. However on occasion we did talk but I no longer saw her as a friend. Eventually I stopped talking to her all around and avoid her. I hear different stories going on with her, and have this unpleasant satisfaction of no longer having to deal with her.
but the reason why I'm bringing this up is because last week she confronted me on why I no longer talk to her. Granted I was not kind with the words I spoke but I don't feel remorseful for avoiding her, and now she and her friends despise me. So am I the a****** for avoiding and ditching her in a sentence.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
uCbyUZZGYDCKt8Cp53q1u8zGIeXmftZ9
|
9x92j0
|
{
"description": "being a new driver and just breaking a right of way law I was mistaken about",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA: I’m a new driver and i might have just broken a right of way law I was mistaken about?
|
In Washington state if that’s relevant.
I was driving behind a Subaru to a four way stop sign. Across from there was a Dodge truck, who clearly got to the stop sign after me and the Subaru. But by the time the Subaru had stopped and gone, the Dodge just stopped at the sign.
At this point, I went forward, because I assumed that since I got to the sign first, I get to go first. But the truck nearly t-boned me because we went at the same time. The old guy in the truck was mouthing swear words at me. Oops. I kind of assume it’s my fault since i’m the new driver, but i want to make sure.
So what would’ve taken priority here: the fact that I got there first, or that drivers are supposed to take turns at stop signs?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
pbFg9L5QBsveu6hr5gHz71c7CJkCXedW
|
b2qto5
|
{
"description": "being made at my crush for Dating",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being made at my crush for Dating?
|
I’ve been afraid to post this and it’s a bit different since it’s me who thinks that I’m the asshole in this situation as others say (including my crush" that I wasn't the asshole
Context, this was about a month ago during a me spending winter recess with my mom, I was talking to my we’ll call “Turtle”, and Turtle knew that I like him as we've been close for 4 years and he's care so much as to not hurt me and loves me a lot but never made it official, he's a caring guys and always wants to help me with my problems.
During the break, I saw tweets from Turtle and this other girl we'll call "Lizard" and Turtle was saying to her "goodnight darling" with heart emojis around it, thinking that this might be a joke I just tried passing it off as one until I saw the response and more heart emojis shown with lizard saying "goodnight, the one I love calls" my heart sank and I was figuring to tell him about it the next day as he was asleep by then, I had a heart time sleeping that night.
When I woke up I saw that he noticed me liking the tweets and he was annoyed saying "before you freak out, this is a FAKE relationship between us in order to make her feel better" not wanting to escalate the situation and making things worse I brushed it off and pretended that I did know such a thing and went along with my day, part of me really was mad at him and want to yell at him but I try not to think about iI.
So for the majority of the day I was in a bad mood and biting my tongue as I was beginning to break apart with my feelings being bottled up because I thought I lost him, and started crying to him about my past lovers and how awful life is for me, even though the real reason why I was so upset was because of him and Lizard, the floodgates opened when mentioned Lizard again and I had enough and told him how much it was burning me up on the inside as I saw his tweets with her and reading the bios of the two and I cried more and more.
I was scared shitless as I thought I was gonna fuck things up between us but Turtle found out about how I really felt after I told him how much pain I was in when he started fake dating Lizard, he first tried comforting me saying he won't make those tweets again but I pushed him away as I told him that it doesn't make the tweets automatically disappear, he then deleted all of the tweets between her and him and removed Lizard's name from his bio and vice versa then tried calming me down.
Turtle keeps on assuring me that he was in the wrong and how he wasn't thinking about me and glad that I told me because he cares about me and my mental health, but a part of me thinks that I should've said nothing and minded my own business
AITA??
TLDR; my crush started fake dating a woman and I ended it immediately after.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
djWbefQNLozwVkiu7MTEuxtnSIXzm0uX
|
a68ieh
|
{
"description": "telling my mom to turn her volume down",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my mom to turn her volume down?
|
We're in the car and mom parks in a fast food place and pulls out her phone to watch a video. Immediately I'm hit with blaring squeakiness and screaming at top volume from the video she's watching. 15 seconds pass and she doesn't turn it down, and it's about as irritating to me as a dog listening to fireworks. So I tell her to turn it down. Admittedly I did raise my voice, but I had to or else to wouldn't have been heard otherwise.
She doesn't turn it down. She says, "Oh, but I'm watching a video." So I told her there was no need for the video to be so loud. She still won't turn it down, just moved the phone away from my direction, as if that'd stop the issue. I said once more loudly "Its hurting my ears, turn it down!"
Now she's mad at me, and starts calling me her usual names like "negative" and "miserable" and all that jazz, cool whatever. So I realize she's mad and bring up a fair point that I thought would shut this stupid situation down. I asked her if she'd play a video that loud in a public space. Her response:
"It's not a public place. Its my car, I can do as I please."
So this tells me she fucking knew she was being obnoxious with her volume. But I persist, and ask the question again. She calls me names n' shit once more and says she was every right to play her video in her car. I tell her yes, she does, but she should be mindful there's two people (my brother and I) and a dog (who has sensitive hearing) in the car. She says some stupid insult once more and leaves the car to get food.
Was I the asshole for telling her to turn it down?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
5mtLBxnM4TuOIEhP04iBTXhhXr5LF4XA
|
ak1lbi
| null |
AITA told a fat kid to leave because he was annoying my entire group
|
My school has these circular tables that we have to sit at if we want to sit outside. inside is too loud for us and pretty crowded. plus it's cold in there. these tables were intended to fit 8 people, 4 connected seats with room for 2 on each. our group has about 10 people so we had to cram some in, and since some were pretty small (like loli size) we could fit everyone. then one of the people there started inviting a kid we'll call bob. bob was a fucking dick. first of all he was fat so he took up more space than others, not fat shaming but its part of the story. since we couldn't have more people at the table they started to not sit with us. this kid was a piece of shit too. he took our food, would take it from us thinking it's funny, burp incredibly loud which is pretty immature for our grade, and spill crumbs and orange juices everywhere. he'd come with a full meal, a sandwich and a bunch of chips, which is more than enough to fill you up during lunch, and still ask for our school lunches from kids. everyone there had enough of it and even the friend who'd invited him in the first place. and the boolin started when one of the kids that sat with us decided to take his chips as a joke. bob started attacking him and spitting at him like an animal. completely hypocritical and the kid ended up having a bruise the next day, but didn't tell the principal because his sister, the friend who'd invited bob to sit with us, would fucking yell at him. so here we are completely fed up with his bs and i decided to ask him to leave.(they wanted me to ask because they were too scared) the first request went something like this. "bob, i would like for you to leave and not sit with us again, as you've become unfavorable as a guest here" (one of my friends wanted me to be formal l0l [r/iamverysmart](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverysmart)). he'd refused it. the next one went like "alright listen here bob, I had asked you nicely to not come here again and you've refused, so do you want me to list off who wants you to leave and why" bob said yes in a grumpy way. (I started listing what i had said above, with a little extra) ". . . and you've been hypocritical with how you were acting to (friend's brother) when he was teasing you. I'm pretty sure i speak for everyone here when i say we don't want you here. so you can go ahead and leave because none of us are friends with you here." he retaliated with "you're asian so you shouldn't have friends" and i don't know how that makes sense but he then angrily walked away to sit at another outside table. he doesn't sit with us anymore and most of us are pretty glad. even the one who invited him was basically fed up with him by the end. this happened a few days ago, so i haven't gotten reported yet i suppose. am i the asshole for telling him to f off?
note: i did insult him for being fat, only because he was insulting other kids for being white (he was tan and had a spanish surname, i think he was mexican don't tumblr shame me for saying this)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
X1NTppvum0T2duiDi8enjPzUculW5gDW
|
b6lse5
|
{
"description": "wanting to take a break from my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to take a break from my best friend
|
Me(17m) and my best friend(18f) of 2 years are going to the same school. We are in our third year We always secretly liked eachother but nothing happened untill about a month ago when she kissed me. She had a boyfriend at the time( still does) and told me she wanted to break up with him for a long time and im the one that makes her happy. Well one week pasess we are still making out between classes and breakes. And then she sudenly becomes cold. After a week i asked her whats wrong and she told me she still loves me but she cant break up with him.
I said okay and asked for a little space. The next day she proceded to have a mental breakdown and told me she cant live without me. I feelt bad for her and made up with her. Now we are hanging out like the usuall but things just arent the same. We both expressed that things are a little weird and we took a little break from talking/ hanging out so much. We made a deal that if something happens and we feel like we really really need to tell eachother we would call or message eachother.
She didnt come to school for the entire week and i didnt message her once but she send me messages all the time she send me about 15 memes on instagram and she would message me something on snapchat every 2 or 3 hours or she would send me a text.
I still love her very much and she still looks at me with that non platonic look in her eyes and still touches and tickles me all the time. And i know we cant pretend to being just friends atleast not right now. So i decided that tommorow when she comes to school after class id ask her to have a talk with me. Id tell her that this is very hard but i dont think that this is healthy for me or for her and that we cant be just friends so we need to take a proper break to think.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
PdR56okpYTUJjEsgsg6WtxVdUQqwnHT6
|
aarchy
|
{
"description": "deriding my dad when he made fun of a bus driver",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for deriding my dad when he made fun of a bus driver?
|
So I was in this shuttle bus with my dad when he’s getting into a tizzy with the driver because our parking location was a specific address the driver didn’t know but was familiar with the area. When the bus driver said something to the effect of “I don’t really know the street numbers, I just know the areas” my dad responded with a heavily sarcastic “that’s scary”. I proceeded to give him a dirty look to which he responded with “what?”. Later when we got off the bus I kept saying “that’s scary” to him with the same tone of voice and made it clear that he was being a dick to the guy. He took offense to this and demanded I apologize to him.
AITA for standing up for this poor bus driver?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
3vIfNzQETuYDWQeaI01MMOcdUjw4BXXM
|
a938pc
|
{
"description": "being angry at my sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being angry at my sister?
|
I (17f) told my sister(18f) that I had a crush on my guy friend a long time ago. Today while shopping our oldest sister(26f) said “Oh, don’t you have a crush on that kid?” I hadn’t told her about it so I asked how she knew. She said “(Our sister) told me you did.”
So I got mad and I talked to my sister. I told her not to tell people who I have crushes on. At the time I didn’t know if she had told just our older sister or other people as well, but I was pissed because it’s something I told her in secret.
I didn’t tell her until today, but I didn’t want my older sister to know. I didn’t think she’d be dumb enough to tell someone in our family, especially the most immature one. She got defensive and told me that she trusted our sister and told her everything, and “who would she tell anyways?” Even though my sister personally knows him and his friends. She said I was being immature, and just cause she told one person doesn’t mean she’s gonna tell anyone else. She never said she was sorry or that she shouldn’t have said anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
RQ1BFUIaiApbQMnYPGVmFy5w1FVSnQY6
|
aayif4
|
{
"description": "shooting down inconsistencies of an idea",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For shooting down inconsistencies of an idea?
|
This just happened about 10 minutes ago.
Dinner had just finished and as a ritual in many Irish households, tea is served straight after. My parents had just came back from America and my mother proposed an app idea. That hasn't yet been done here.
The idea is a fairly simple and if correctly implemented and would prove rather convenient. The idea itself is about checking prices between different items. My mother asked how easy would it be to implement.
*This is where trouble begins*
My brother coming from a place of academia and no experience in his degree granted he finished a masters in eCommerce. Myself currently working in IT part time and studying computer science.
His point came down to there wouldn't be a huge market for this. Nobody would be interested even so how would they keep track of things.
My point was the majority of this could be done using APIs that would update in real-time, nothing fancy and rather efficient.
After a while it came down to my mother wanting to hear his point and exclude my point. I found this frustrating as he has never worked in the area and is somehow an expert.
By the end of her questioning he kept saying market research as answer. This is even though he claimed it couldn't be done for a range of things.
I pointed this out and asked if he could stop hiding behind a blanket statement such as market research.
I was then interrupted by my mother saying it does not matter and looked remorseful for bringing up such a question. My brother then said "ylmcc I have studied in this for 5 years I know what would work".
AITA for coming at this with a point of view that knows how simple the app would be and frustrating him over his inconsistency ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
4QDQXmegRIvT1sCeuVGQKb23LPre0GxQ
|
aw7qox
|
{
"description": "asking my friend to give me my money and him refusing to",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my friend to give me my money and him refusing to
|
Me and my friend were playing on a minecraft server that let you vote on voting sites daily that give you vote keys for voting which you can open chests with and get items from. I found a glitch on one of the sites that lets you vote a unlimited amount of times and I made alot of money off of it. Eventually everyone in the server knew that i was doing that and people started accusing me of duplicating which is against the rules and threatening to get mods to ban me. I was worried about that since glitches like that arent mentioned anywhere in the server's rules and it's a gray area so I decided to give him all the money and asked him to keep it safe so i dont get greedy and waste it by gambling or if i get banned it doesn't go to waste and he agreed. Today i asked him to give me the money back cause i was making a Iron Golem Spawner farm to make more money and he refused, asked me to waste 10\~ minutes of my time exploiting the glitch to get him alot of keys in return for my money. I refused and said that if he gives me the money first, I'll get him some keys later on. We fought like that for about 2 hours while he was insulting me by making fun of my autism, calling me retarded and so on. I said that he can keep the money but im gonna give everything he put in the base back in his base and not gonna let him access my base. He argued a bit more and said " ok fuck u
Play mc by urself loser" before going offline. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
dgvYhlFyVNLUdqHJPWPpy2LDDQRoddpH
|
a30cmt
|
{
"description": "punching a guy after he slapped me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for punching a guy after he slapped me.
|
Me and some friends went and rented a cabin in the mountains to get really drunk. One of our friends who is much older than everybody else gets really crazy when he is drunk and turns into a rampaging bully slapping people in the face and goes geberally insane and that has happened to everyone except me until the night before.
We were plaing cards really drunkenly with this older guy who was kinda our friend who everyone respects because he is kindof a leader figure in the group sitting next to me, when all of a sudden he slaps me full forced in the face. (Nobody has ever retaliated to being slapped by him because in our culture we are expected to respect and obey our elders which he is the oldest in the group) I stayed relatively calm and told this older guy and everybody in the card game that I will 100% retaliate if he messes with me again.
We continue playing cards and sure enough outta nowhere he slaps me in the ear. So I removed his glasses and punched him in the mouth. One of his teeth was loose and his nose was bleeding pretty bad. I stood up and put him in a choke hold and asked him to call me his uncle. He didnt call me uncle but I simmered down and let him go and he just kinda left.
AITA for retaliating like this for getting slapped in the face. / What should I have done instead¿
Sorry foe broken English.
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abqlid
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"description": "criticizing this thieves robber",
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AITA for criticizing this thieves robber?
|
Some of my friends and I had a lot of money with the resources and we decided to get down at the same time. We do not have the right to say that we can survive. But he was upset and cried out for us and forgot us. What is tomorrow? I would like to miss this situation! I've been scared if he's upset. AITA for self-defensive self-defense. I'm upset and if anyone tries to get this back on me, I'll be sure to learn to learn about me !!!!!!! 'nnn
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"description": "ghosting a family member",
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AITA for ghosting a family member?
|
Years ago, my cousin and I were basically childhood friends (I’ll call him Dave for privacy sake). We’d always celebrate birthdays and holidays together until he, unfortunately, moved away to a different state. We were still kids at the time so we’d only be able to communicate with each other here and there if our parents called each other, since we didn’t have phones or computers of our own. Finally, this changed as we got older and we were able to connect through Facebook and text. That’s when Dave asked me out of the blue if I’d like to join him and his friends and play some video games.
I loved gaming as much as he did, so I was ecstatic. I eagerly agreed and had a blast with them. We played everything from Left 4 Dead 2 to Minecraft almost every day for hours on end. I didn’t talk much when they were streaming or recording their gameplay (I was pretty self-conscious about my voice) but they didn’t seem to mind, and we had plenty of time afterward to talk and game together normally when they were done.
His friends and I, I’ll call them D. and Kat for short, all got bored of the current games we were playing and eventually moved on to Overwatch. We played there for nearly a year together before things suddenly changed. I stopped seeing Dave and his friends online and stopped receiving gaming invites from them. They most likely got bored of Overwatch too, which is fine, but they still continued to play different games without me and never went out of their way to speak with me.
I thought maybe they were busy or just needed some time from me to game by themselves, but weeks had passed now without receiving a single word from them. I finally gave in and messaged Kat, just hoping to have a conversation with him and possibly reconnect over a game or two. Most of his replies were short, however, and he eventually stopped messaging altogether and left me on read. D. went out of his way to contact me though, I was so excited!
My excitement quickly diminished, though, when he cut right to the chase and asked to commission artwork from me. I’m not a professional artist by any means, but I’m good enough to catch the attention of my friends and family who will commission me from time to time. This will become a bigger issue as the story progresses.
I sucked it up and did the art he requested, just to have D. go right back to not speaking with me after he received the artwork. I tried talking with Dave but the same scenario would repeat itself. I would ask to hang out with him, he would tell me ‘maybe later’, ask me for artwork, then stop replying to me. This continued for a whole year before I finally got fed up with it. I decided that I was going to be blunt with him and not take no for an answer.
I contacted Dave and told him that I have never played this roleplaying game before, but I’d love to give it a try with him. Right away he tried to derail the conversation to artwork that he’d like to request from me, but I wasn’t having it. I told him that I would do the artwork, but only if he were to play the game with me. This didn’t have much of an effect on him, however, so out of desperation I offered to make his commission free of charge and to even draw his roleplaying character for him. This seemed to pique his interest, and I practically held my breath as I waited for his response.
His answer was nothing. Just a ‘maybe in the future’ and a quick question about the commission he was ordering. I have never felt more like an employee than a friend in my life up until that point. Out of anger and frustration, I blocked his email, his number, his friends, and deleted every single account ever tied to him. That included my Facebook, Discord, Snapchat, and even my DeviantArt.
I haven’t seen or heard anything from Dave since. The part that hurts the most is that I’m not sure if it’s because I ghosted him and his friends so well or if it is because they don’t care enough to try and contact me. This all went down recently and I am still left with so many questions. Should I have tried even harder to connect with them? Was it because I didn’t speak very much while they were streaming? I feel like I’ll never know.
Basically, AITA for ghosting my family member and his friends because they only spoke to me when they needed to commission artwork from me?
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{
"description": "sorting by new and downvoting every other post",
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AITA for sorting by new and downvoting every other post?
|
I downvote every meme I see that is made with some internet meme maker like imgflip.com, or if the meme uses impact font unironically. Then I go drop a comment calling them out on the low effort meme and 10 minutes later the post is deleted because OP can't take my roast or judgement. I like the feeling of being in charge of what gets to the top when I'm scrolling new posts. I can't let some trash cringy memes get through.
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"description": "allowing a close guy friend to do favors for me when I know he likes me, but I'm not attracted to him",
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"contranormative_score": 5
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AITA for allowing a close guy friend [23M] to do favors for me when I know he likes me [21F], but I’m not attracted to him?
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Throughout my life I’ve had a few close guy friends, who I knew had crushes on me, do what I would consider “out of their way” favors for me. Just things where they would offer to pay for something, walk me somewhere, give me a ride home or to get food, help me with a project, or give me something for free that normally a friend would have asked for a bit of money for. Think stuff that is just a tad more than a typical friend would be easily willing to do.
I’ve always believed that I’m NTA because I don’t ask for anything (except for small things that I would ask a typical friend for as well), but I’ve started to feel more guilty about this with the most current guy who has fit this role in my life. He’s just such an amazing, nice person who I honestly wish I was physically attracted to because he’s such a genuine friend. He has dropped some hints since I’ve known him that he has a crush on me and his best friend has acknowledged it as well. I’ve never done anything to suggest that I would be interested in him and I think he very clearly knows this. Still, he is much more willing to do me a favor in comparison to my other friends and, tbh, I have started to expect these favors which is making me feel even more guilty.
So basically, AITA for “stringing along” willing men even if I heavily imply that we’ll never be more than friends?
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{
"description": "getting annoyed at my theatre group for wanting to slack",
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AITA for getting annoyed at my theatre group for wanting to slack?
|
We have a Sunday rehearsal, tomorrow. This happens to land on Mothers Day in England and lots of people are saying how they won’t turn up because it’s unfair. I totally get it, I have my issues about turning up aswell however they KNEW weeks beforehand that this rehearsal was on Mother’s Day, so they shouldn’t really be that annoyed cause it’s not like it’s a surprise.
One of the ensemble is saying how she’s not going to turn up because ‘she needs the show but the show doesn’t need her’ and bullshit like that. The sort of ‘I’m fourteen and this is deep’ crap. I tell her to grow up, if she doesn’t show she’ll be cut from the numbers. That wouldn’t be our decision but the directors and they’ve told people this.
Eventually I tell her I don’t care if she shows or not, she doesn’t have a solo and isn’t involved in my solo so it doesn’t affect me but I’m not about lose something I worked quite hard to get. People start assuming that I’m not going in because I ‘don’t care about the show’, which is what I never said. I tell them to read my replies properly. Im one of the youngest in the group so I’m often just looked over as immature, but they keep saying that ‘nothings changed’. So I send them a screenshot of me saying I’m going into rehearsal.
My ex boyfriend (who currently likes me but is insensitive), asked when I got so sour. I explain that if people weren’t so ignorant towards me I wouldn’t be sour. They say I’m overreacting even though they’re the ones who started complaining about a date set way in advance to tomorrow.
So, AITA
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azvurb
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{
"description": "not wanting my boss's kid at work",
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"contranormative_score": 5
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AITA for not wanting my boss's kid at work?
|
A little background on my job: I started back in May, pretty sure I got the job because I was in a similar situation as my boss, we both have young children, mine are 13 and 7, boss has one 6 y.o.
I told her family is number one for me and she was like same, my job was only advertised as 20-25 hours per week and she was very cool with me having to bring my girls to the workplace as she often has to bring her son.
Now my girls are in school full time and my hours are during time they are in class. Her son only in Kindergarten and only goes Tue, Wed, Fri.
Every once in a while they will have a weekday they are out of school for teachers planning days and such, so I might bring them but it is super rare because my 13 doesn't want to be at my job and she can take care of her little sister if they stay home alone. Not only that but my wife works until noon, and I work literally 5 minutes away from home if they need me.
Anyways my boss some time brings her son to work with her and he is completely distracting to her and me both with constant "mommy, mommy, mommy" needing attention and bothering her for anything and everything he can think of. Even if she is on the phone or talking to me he just repeats himself over and over and over and she does little to nothing to stop it.
So am I the asshole for not wanting to deal with it?
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{
"description": "telling my new coworker to stop slurping their coffee",
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WIBTA if I told my new coworker to stop slurping their coffee
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Recently my office rearranged where a lot of people sit. We are all in cubicles and the person that moved in adjacent to me is a slurper. Every morning for around two hours "Terry" will drink coffee and slurp Every. single. Sip. I absolutely hate it when people slurp beverages because it makes my skin crawl and it is completely unnecessary. WIBTA if I asked Terry to stop? This is not the slurping of soup which is normal and often needed- this is only beverages.
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amzr82
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{
"description": "making \"freeway buddies\"",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
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AITA for making "freeway buddies" ?
|
Let me make one thing especially clear: I am *not* a slow driver.
More often than not, when I look at a freeway, I don't see cars, I see a slalom course. I see just about everybody else moving around me at about five miles per hour too slow.
Mind you, I try not to be overtly aggressive -- I avoid tailgating, or making harsh swerving through traffic, or going 100+ mph, or generally calling attention to myself.
But sometimes, I lose it *just* a little bit, particular in the face of people who are, in my eyes, mouthbreathing idiots. I can't stand people failing to match speed in the fast lane, forcing those behind them to slow down to 60. Or who make a perfect horizontal line in front of me with the other cars and make graceful passes impossible.
So perhaps it's because of this that I find myself attracted to and respecting those who travel at around my pace -- those who find the freeway to be a puzzle of sorts, or an obstacle course.
When I find these people -- usually late at night or in the wee hours of the morning, when there are fewer people -- I find myself sticking closely to them. While not exactly "racing" them, I try to keep up with them. Sometimes, it turns into a small group of people, forming a line that slithers its way through the gaps in the masses.
While I flash my headlights sometimes, or *try* to wave, it's hard to gauge a reaction through the dark. And I can't help but wonder how these people think of *me.* Has anybody else felt this way about other drivers? Do they find see me as fellow company in the group of people who feel the need to get around with a little more purpose? Or AITA for being obnoxious and sticking nearby them without any real reason to do so?
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am3x5f
| null |
AITA if my mother-in-law (60 y.o.) lives across the street from us and I refuse to plow the snow off of her driveway?
|
We live across the street from her and last week it snowed almost a foot so I spent 1.5 hours clearing my driveway with a snowblower. Her driveway is 3x bigger than mine so I didn’t clear it. She parks in her garage so she just gets in and out of her car, never stepping in snow and she doesn’t really walk across the street unless she is dropping off her dog for us to watch or to say hi to he grandkids. I wasn’t super tired. I was just being lazy. I parked in her big driveway once and I said I would clear her driveway and her response was “you’re the only one that parks there anyways”. It made me mad she couldn’t just thank me. So now I don’t park on her driveway and I refuse to clear the snow.
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aycm7d
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{
"description": "wanting to end a friendship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to end a friendship
|
I’m (17M) friends with a nice guy (17M), we’ve been friends for around 6 years. We have an incredibly strong relationship, and we’ve been through a lot together. When I met him he was a shy, insecure and lonely boy, I have always been a relatively happy and confident, verging on cocky. I don’t and never have believed anyone should feel as he did, I decided to spend lots more time with him, as time went on, he trusted me more and more telling me stories of his depression and all of his anxieties. I felt trusted that was enough for me at the time. Since then time has past we’ve grow older and we have grown apart, still very close but I struggle to show him how I feel. Very frequently I see him teasing someone in my college, including myself. I have never been someone to take teasing to heart, unless it is super personal. Since he knows me better than anyone, he has the ability to use what matters against me. I have told him face to face on several occasions that what he says isn’t appropriate, but it is always been ignored. I don’t know how to tell him. I have always felt he doesn’t have the right to tease others, and there’s always been a feeling in my heart that, as evil as this sounds, that he uses his insecurities as way to be protect from teasing. I know it’s a childish thought, but he now has a girlfriend - he refuses to see that it’s a failing relationship. I am also currently struggling with stuff myself and have to consider that when the tables where turned it was so different. Also I he has a way that whenever I mention anything it makes me feel so uncomfortable to say anything, my old confident self has slower been crippled into a fraction of what I used to be. He’s become more and more confident which I couldn’t be happier to see, but in the process, he been draining me.
I go to a relatively small college so it’ll be difficult to ignore him there and he’s friends with many of my friends. There’s such a toxic aspect about our friendship that I can’t get over.
I don’t know how to tell him how I feel. I’ll repeat, I’m not a sensitive person to feel free to say whatever you what because I need complete honesty.
If you read this far thanks! But yeah aita?
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a3r439
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"description": "not wanting to clean and cook all the time",
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AITA for not wanting to clean and cook all the time?
|
I'm an 18 year old boy currently at college, and I share a small apartment with my friend Sarah. She's a couple years older than me, but I've known her my whole life and she's honestly like a sister to me, it's all platonic.
Anyway, about two months ago I stopped working to focus on school, and this brought my income way down. Sarah agreed to actually cover some of my rent if I did a little more of the house work while I'm around, like cleaning and stuff. I agreed, knowing it was a sweet deal.
She's out of the apartment most of the day working, leaving me alone. Sometimes she'd text me something like, "Can you get the dishes from this morning?" or "Can you make sure the tub's clean?" None of this bothered me and I was happy to help.
But recently, she's been getting really demanding with it. She expects me to clean almost everything in the house, and be the sole one responsible for chores. Her reasoning is that I'm "only out of the apartment 10 hours a week and she's out triple that." If she has friends over at night, she asks me to cook for them, or same if her boyfriend's over. She tells me that because she pays a good part of my rent that it's my responsibility.
I told her that I don't owe her all of this, and that I'm not her servant. Now she says I'm an asshole for doing this.
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ajet3m
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"description": "asking my girlfriend questions to which she thinks the answers should be obvious",
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|
AITA for asking my girlfriend questions to which she thinks the answers should be obvious?
|
Sometimes when I’m talking to my (very long distance) girlfriend she takes my followup questions the wrong way and tells me that I would know the answer if I was listening to her.
For example:
Some period of time ago her roommate, Z, moved out of the apartment leaving an empty bed frame, nothing on the walls, and empty shelving and cabinets cluttering the place. Albeit I only had a five second glance at her room. I didn’t find it of note that there was nothing on the floor but there wasn’t.
GF was packing up to move yesterday. She told me that she had taken everything off of the walls and that her room was a disaster area! I asked if it looked like Z’s room. I had an image of bare, empty walls and empty shelving and the question just popped out.
She told me she felt like I wasn’t listening to her because she had just told me about how it was a disaster area and that questions should have had an obvious answer and that sometimes she thinks I talk or ask questions just to fill space.
I replied that, no, that question might have had an obvious answer to her but I clearly wasn’t thinking about it the same way that she was or else I wouldn’t have asked it. I told her that I didn’t appreciate being told that I wasn’t paying attention and that, if she didn’t understand how my question applied, she could have asked.
Maybe I said something insulting by accident but she ended up crying and yelling at me. I’m not really entirely sure why, it was pretty overwhelming. Then she hung up on me. After some time she texted and told me that she feels like I care more about being stubborn and defensive than about how she feels.
I told her that I thought we were having a nice conversation and that having it derailed because I asked a question she thought was dumb so that she could try to change my thought patterns was stubborn and that she could maybe work on the way she reacts to things. And that she didn’t seem to be considering how being told that I’m not listening, when I am, makes me feel.
She told me she tried to tell me she was upset without sounding annoyed or accusatory but that I didn’t seem to care and got defensive and “replied saying she called my questions dumb when she did not. It’s like that a lot. Maybe I’m too sensitive. She feels bad because she feels like she did a good job controlling her emotions but I shit all over her efforts”.
I told her that I didn’t think she was processing what I was saying and asked her to repeat my position back to me. And that I didn’t think that she could. Then I did my best to rephrase what she was saying back to me.
She never bothered to read those messages so I called her about thirty minutes later and asked her if we could try to resolve things. And that I’d like her to read my message to see if I was right about how she feels about the situation and that I’d like to hear what she thinks I feel is. The call was kind of a mess and she ended up telling me no, she wouldn’t read it and no, she wouldn’t try to restate my position to me. And that she wanted to be alone and that I had wanted to be alone at one point so I should understand. I reminded her that what she was referring to was when she started a fight about a long ago issue which she promised to not bring up again (literally 100+ fights about this) and I broke up with her and ignored her 30+ calls over the next 12 hours until she literally flew to my city to talk to me. She told me she wanted to go so I tried to do the typical “I love you” goodbye. She hang up on me again without replying.
She proceeded to ignore my attempt to call her back, assuming that she just didn’t hear me.
Later on she texted (on a different app so she wouldn't have to read my other messages) saying that she was depressed and wanted to move her India trip forward. She’s Indian and needs to go home to get her visa stamped. For a long time we’ve been talking about how I’m going to come and all of the things that she was going to take me to see. I asked for how long she was depressed and she said “today”. I asked if that’s why we fought earlier and she told me we fought because I put words in her mouth. I asked if she wanted to go home because she had a fight and she said yes. I asked if she didn’t want me to come anymore. She told me that she didn’t think about it and that it’s not always about me.
I reminded her that she was talking about moving the time of a trip we were taking together due to a fight with me and that, sure, maybe it’s not “about” me but I was both part of the catalyst and the plan and that I needed to be kept in the loop in order to participate. She told me that I hadn’t even committed (which is not true) so I told her to consider this my commitment.
This isn’t the first the time trip has come up in a fight. We fought once and she told me she didn’t want me to come anymore. She ended up taking it back a few months later.
Anyway, I asked if she wanted to make up and she told me she needed more time by herself. I said okay. A few hours later, while I was asleep, she told me that she wanted to make up but feels really sad. In the morning I replied that the point of making up was to fix that. I didn’t get a response.
Every morning we have a call on my walk to work. I shot her a text saying I didn’t know if she wanted me to call or not but that I was heading in. A few hours later and I still haven’t gotten a response.
The time she was referring to about me having asked a question she thought meant I wasn’t listening to was, I think, a time that she and I were going climbing at the gym (remotely). We’re long distance so we do a lot of activities at the same time so it feels like we’re doing them together. She had invited a friend to join her climbing that day but her friend flaked. Her friend flakes a lot.
I asked her if she was bummed that her friend wasn’t joining and she told me that she didn’t appreciate how I always wanted to talk about sad/negative things. I told her that I didn’t want to talk about sad or negative things and how she brought it up and I only wanted to know if it bothered her, since she was still going with me. She thought it should be obvious how she felt. Maybe it should have been. We ended up fighting about how I should have thought more about if she was bummed before asking if she was bummed.
Anyway, I know this was long.
I feel like it’s a lot to ask me to stop and consider every follow up question carefully before I ask it to determine whether she would find the answer too obvious. I feel like a question that seems reasonable to me could seem (and has seemed) unreasonable to her for a reason I don’t even realize. I feel like active listening involves asking questions and that maybe not all of them will be the most profound.
But maybe I’m wrong. Am I the asshole here?
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZrV5hlZ04tJFIA8yajnGsvzcZAazDwWI
|
b7psfk
|
{
"description": "constantly insulting my friend's crush",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for constantly insulting my friend's crush?
|
Now, hear me out. Context is important.
​
One of my closest friends, lets call him "W", dated a girl for around 6 months. In high school, this is a fairly lengthy relationship. He broke up with her due to loss of feelings. For a while after the breakup, she mad multiple attempts at turning our friend group against each other, and even trying to convince a different friend's girlfriend to dump him for no reason. Also, every single day, she makes every attempt she can to piss us off, even basic things like leaving class early to steal our lunch table. Basically, she's one of the most obnoxious, narcissistic, self-centered people I've ever met.
​
Fast forward to present day. Another close friend, let's say his name is "R", now likes her. He remained friends with her through and after the breakup, despite what she was doing to our group. He asked her to prom, something we all said was an awful idea, but W said he was ok with it, as long as they didn't start dating. R agreed to this and asked her, she said yes. However, now R asks her out at least 4x a week, even though this girl has made it very clear she has no romantic interest. Whenever we mention something about her that isn't positive, he loses his shit and starts defending her vehemently. We recently also found out he tells her everything we say about her. Basically putting her over us.
​
We are all graduating within 2 months, and she is permanently leaving for college anyway (her parents are moving with her). So not only does he turn a blind eye to how awful she is, even if they did date, she's leaving soon anyway, so what's the point?
​
I bring it up almost every day, openly saying how I feel about her and how he's acting. He freaks out every time and defends her, completely ignoring what we say. IDK how else to approach it, because it's tearing our friend group apart.
​
TLDR: My friend is going after another close friends ex, who is a complete bitch. I insult her and tell him how much of an awful decision it is every day, and he ignores it. IDK what else to do.
​
P.S. I don't know if this is quite the right forum for this, but I thought I'd try it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
WezEKdx7CKk3r4GvvGTbqxAOn4At2mNl
|
b6yrha
|
{
"description": "not bringing alcohol to a party if I will not be drinking some",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for not bringing alcohol to a party if I will not be drinking some?
|
I have been invited to a birthday party for tonight.
For several reasons (party location, personnal health choices, ...) I do not intend to drink alcohol tonight. We've all been asked to bring a bottle in so we can have fun. As I do not intend to drink alcohol from anyone, does it seems "unfair" if I don't bring alcohol in as long as I do not have a dingle drop of alcohol from other people?
I'd still bring some softs in of course but nothing else. AITA for considering it?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
qp7woTKJz7yzhTkQE4cQLUzerFvaHBFH
|
abu3o2
|
{
"description": "asking my biological father about family rituals/ceremony customs while he's relaxing",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my biological father about family rituals/ceremony customs while he's relaxing?
|
First of all, this is extra, extra long. I apologize in advance. TL;DR is at the bottom, but honestly reading the entire post is kind of a requirement to truly understand what's happening. This is being typed and posted from mobile so formatting may be incorrect, I'll fix what I can.
Background: My Japanese grandfather recently passed away. I grew up in the US so I have no idea how anything works in Japan (this is important later). I recently decided to move to Japan in 2018 to be with my grandparents and work since they are old and don't have a lot of time left. My father is bilingual, English and Japanese. He was born and raised in Japan and moved to the US around 30 years old. I was born in Japan and lived there for 4 years before moving with my family to the US, I barely speak Japanese. I can ask basic questions and understand basic responses.
I don't like my biological father, that's why I call him my biological father. He didn't raise me, there is no emotional connection. He had custody of my brother and I during the summer time when we were kids. He would force us to do Kumon (Japanese after school homework program) during his time with him. He was verbally abusive and some times would get slap happy when we didn't do something right. Nothing that left bruises or anything. After middle school I cut off all contact because I could. He never made an effort to reach out to me either. That was fine, I enjoyed not having to deal with his bullshit.
Recently we've been talking more only because I've chosen to live in Japan with "his" family. He likes to refer to our family as "My father..." or "My mother..." instead of "Your grandpa..." or "Grandma wants you to..." so it seems like he's not including me in the family, but I just write that off as not being 100% fluent in English nuance and natural phrasing.
There's been a lot of paperwork recently with my grandfather, his money, plans for the funeral, etc. It's a big deal as all events like this are and a lot of preparation has to be done.
Anyway, on to the main story:
My grandfather (his father) passed away last week. We had a funeral service tonight (5pm Japan Standard Time) and it went well, only two hours and it was mostly close family with some neighbors. After the service we went back to my grandmother's house and relax. As I've said before, I'm not familiar with all the customs and rituals. Considering my father can speak both English and Japanese and has knowledge about the customs and rituals, I figure now would be a great time to ask him since neither of us are busy.
Now, in my experience, it's usually a great time to ask questions or talk about something when people are aren't busy. My father claims the exact opposite.
I asked him about the schedule for tomorrow and what I should prepare for. He vaguely tells me about what will happen,
* Wake up at 8
* Start of the ceremony at 10
* Cremation at 12
* More ceremony later
* Finish
This doesn't really answer my questions, so I ask about the specifics, "Will it be like tonight?" - "How many people will be there?" - "Will the same monk come and do more chanting?" - "Will I have to stand up and do anything?"
His response was: "DerpHard, why don't you look it up on the internet?"
At first I was dumbfounded, but then I remembered the kind of person he was. Still I pressed on to make an effort to get him to talk to me. To make this easier, I'll be turning this into a dialogue, M is me, D is dad.
---------------------
M: Why can't you just tell me?
D: everything you need to know is on the internet.
M: Yes, but as your son, you should teach me about family rituals, because you know, that's your job.
D: Why? It's much easier if you just read it on the internet.
M: I agree with you, but you are my father and I'd like to create a bonding experience.
D: DerpHard, I'm relaxing right now, you had the past 4 days to ask me about these questions but you didn't.
M: the past 4 days you've been busy making funeral arrangements, talking to relatives, figuring out finances, making sure everything is in order. Why would I bother you during all of that to ask you questions about the funeral?
D: You know what? The best time to ask me is when I'm busy. My brain is in the right state at that moment, I'm already thinking about those things so you should ask me then. You need to learn to not bother people when they are relaxing and ask questions when they are busy.
M: *scoff* that doesn't make any sense. Why would I bother someone when they are busy talking to other people and writing down information?
D: That's how people do it, it's a fact.
M: no, that's not a fact, I've never heard that in my life. I was always taught in every life situation not to bother someone when they are busy. Of course there's situations at work when you need to ask for directions or how to do something, but asking for **knowledge** about something is usually done when no one is busy.
D: That's your opinion.
M: yeah that is my opinion, but what you said is also an opinion and not a fact.
D: no, it's a fact, everyone knows that.
M: so you want me to ask you questions in the middle of being busy?
D: yes, that's what you are supposed to do.
M: Okay, I'll remember that.
D: I don't know how you grew up with your mom, but maybe you need to find new friends because you don't know how the world works.
M: what does any of this have to do with my friends?
D: They're the people you talk to. Maybe they are asking questions when you are relaxing and that's why you don't know anything.
M: That doesn't make any sense at all. My friends and the people I talk to are completely irrelevant to this conversation and have nothing to do with asking someone a question when they are relaxing.
D: It does. These are the people who taught you how to ask questions and now you don't even know when to ask questions.
M: You know what, forget it. I'll figure it out by myself.
D: you can laugh and think what you want, but I'm just trying to teach you when to ask questions.
M: You could've taken this time to teach me about the funeral ceremony happening tomorrow, but instead you decided to "teach" me when to ask a question.
D: I answered your question, you asked me about the ceremony and I told you to find out on the internet.
M: I don't want to use the internet, I've used the internet my whole life because no one answered my questions. Now that we're sitting here and literally nothing is happening right now, I want you to answer a couple questions about the ceremony. Why can't you just answer the questions?
D: I'm relaxing right now, you don't ask people questions when they're relaxing.
M: Alright, nevermind. Forget I ever asked anything.
D: I'm just-
M: No no, don't worry about it, you're relaxing right now, I don't want to bother you. It's fine.
D: Everything you want to know is on the internet. Just look it up yourself.
M: yep that's what I'm doing right now, thank you for your great advice.
-----------------------
Now, **AM I THE ASSHOLE** for bothering my own father while he was relaxing and asking questions about the family funeral? Should I have handled that differently? Personally I don't think I'm an asshole, but that's why I'm posting here. I want your opinion.
TL;DR: I ask my biological father about family customs and ceremony rituals and admitting this would be a bonding experience for us, he tells me to look on the internet instead of bothering him while he's relaxing. He proceeds to lecture me about the right time to ask questions instead of teaching me about the family rituals. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3R3OSk5KtoU0nuE0PjUcaUAlN6nRgIXW
|
b7hkwy
|
{
"description": "getting a different roommate after I told one girl being her roommate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if I get a different roommate after I told one girl I would be her roommate?
|
Basically I told one girl that I would be her roommate but she’s a little spotty with money and falls back on her parents a lot. There’s another girl I’m friends with that would be better to room with. She’s better with money, more reliable and we have similar living styles. Would I be the asshole if I told her I was wanting to chose a different roommate? And what’s a way that I could tell her so I’m not the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
lOcJP1AsnOwlVAQEGqLJwkgOsvH91Gj8
|
ajqs9v
|
{
"description": "ditching a taxi with the agreed upon fare",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for ditching a taxi with the agreed upon fare?
|
This happened a few years ago and a friend recently told me I was an asshole for doing it so I wanted to check on here.
Me and a friend had been at the mall and we didnt have a ride, so we decided to go home in a cab. We asked the taxi driver how much it would cost to go to our neighborhood and he told us it would be about 15 dollars (there aren't set rates where I live). We agreed and my friend decided to pay for it.
Our neighborhood is pretty big and my friend lives in the part closest to the mall so we dropped him off first. He gave me the money for the cab and we set off to my house.
On the way I could tell the can driver was unhappy that my house was so deep into the neighborhood so I told him to pull over a couple blocks before my house and decided to walk the rest of the way. I handed the cab driver the money but he started demanding more. I told him I had no more cash on me and he refused to let me leave. So I told him I'd go into my house and get the extra money. I think he must've thought the house we had pulled over in front of was mine. I left him with the money I had and just ditched the cab.
At first I thought the cab driver must have been the asshole, but thinking back I don't think we told him how far into the neighborhood we wanted to go, and I do live in a less populated section so most people wouldn't expect him to go so far.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
5orMNVbZVh0MnBYPT2hb4tLle0N1zV87
|
au3ljc
|
{
"description": "confronting a coworker over her shit talking behind my back",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITAH for confronting a coworker over her shit talking behind my back?
|
For reference, we are both RN’s working on different units as Charge Nurses. I’ll call her Mattie. For the past few weeks, we have had an issue with our 3-11 aides disappearing, leaving the unit and just overall not doing their jobs on her unit. On Super Bowl weekend, my aide brought Mattie’s patient from the TV room where Mattie’s aides were sitting and watching the game instead of being on their unit. The aide for the patient knew he was vomiting everywhere and still sat on her ass while my aide took him back to his room and asked me to page his aide to the room since she was obviously unconcerned about the situation. And I did page the following “CNA assistance needed to room so and so and as a friendly reminder if you are not on your designated break or lunch, you are to be on your assigned unit.” Well, Mattie gets pissed off at this and tells another nurse that she is going to report me to the DON. So I call Mattie on the work phone from my office to hers and ask what the problem is with me paving the cna. She denies that she has said anything and says explicitly that she has no problem with what I did. Immediately after this, she states to the same nurse that I must be afraid of her calling the DON on me since I called her about it. She left shortly after this so I called her on her cell. She didn’t answer so I texted this “I don’t understand what your problem seems to be with me, but I have no reason to be afraid of you or anyone else for doing my job. Your patient was actively vomiting, your aide was sitting on her ass watching the game when you allegedly couldn’t find her so if anyone should be “scared,” it should be you. Honestly we are both too old for this. You are old enough to be my mother and I’m not the one for this petty, childish drama. So just stop.”
She didn’t reply but later reported me for “making her cry”
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
105HAkryjSRMCI8uIZdVPlCJRDWQx587
|
aoo5ej
|
{
"description": "expecting dealership to honor agreement",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting dealership to honor agreement?
|
My wife's car started making a loud squealing noise coming from the brake booster, so I called the local dealership to get a quote on the repair. The told me that it was covered under warranty, and to bring it in. I even have 2 emails from them confirming the appointment, and the warranty coverage. We dropped the car off, and after 2 days they said they could not replicate the noise and for us to come pick it up, which we did. On the drive home from the dealership, the noise came back so I got it on video, put it on youtube, and sent them the link. They saw the video, thanked me for it and said to bring it back now that they confirmed the failure. My wife dropped it off, they supplied her with a loaner, and then right before closing they emailed me saying that it's NOT covered under warranty.
I've been going back and forth with the service manager all evening arguing that they should honor the original deal. It's only $253.00 out of pocket for me, but that's not really the point in my opinion. The part is only 86.00 shipped, and I have a full lift in my garage (I restore old cars as a hobby) so I am more than capable of doing the job.
Am I the asshole here for expecting them to honor what they promised me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Kqg9VAnYOWFOXQ9deVW1ipiSsyGXWgyU
|
aa84qm
|
{
"description": "reporting a guy who sexually assaulted the girl who has a crush on him to our school's administration",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I reported a guy who sexually assaulted the girl who has a crush on him to our school's administration?
|
Background: I (17M) go to a fairly nontraditional public high school because of unique circumstances surrounding my life, but most of the other male students are there do to serious behavioral issues.
Recently, I was sitting with my SO (let's call her K) at school, and one of her friends (A), who I don't know very well, came up to us and told K that A's crush grabbed A by the pussy.
My immediate assumption was that this crush would be reported, and that A now hated her crush for doing something like that, but to my great surprise, A just brushed it off but was also clear (to us not her crush) that she did NOT like it.
Later on, I told K that I was really concerned that someone sexually assaulting A didn't seem to phase anyone but me, and K just told me that A has a habit of dating human garbage and only realizing how bad they are when it's already over.
To me, this just screams that A doesn't have the self-respect to stand up for her wants and basic rights, and I'm really considering reporting this because I think A could easily have something much worse happen to her if she attempts to go out with this douchebag, but I also don't know A very well, and I am worried about starting a confrontation.
WIBTA if I reported this asshole to stop A from getting hurt?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
qgwBtS7zzKylo0oX1BJgG86LSy77Ol0r
|
b689gg
|
{
"description": "wanting to sell the house or giving a six month time period to buy me out",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to sell the house or giving a six month time period to buy me out.
|
i bought a house with my brother and his wife 10ish years ago when i was 20. i've mentioned multiple times in the past couple years that i want to sell the house and or move out and get on with my life. would i be the asshole for telling them that we need to get the house ready to sell within the next 6 months or we need to refinance and buy me out so that i can move on to the next chapter of my life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dOMwBlDBnyMJ44nwUDAlN1Kbhjz9AFPh
|
9vryxc
|
{
"description": "sending a request to play 8-ball after she confessed her feelings for me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sending a request to play 8-Ball after she confessed her feelings for me?
|
This girl came out of ghosting after 6 months to apologize to me for hurting me and said she can’t get over me and blah blah blah, you already know. It was a long chain of messages and it reminded me of a funny meme I saw somewhere, so I just responded with a request to play 8-Ball. She declined the request and blocked me lol.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
igynyBqzeOeVdlh2uNDDldhNwF5kDwCk
|
b8xmkn
|
{
"description": "not calling an employer back because I thought I had another job",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not calling an employer back because I thought I had another job?
|
So.... I don’t really know if this is a common occurrence or just something that happens with jobs as I haven’t had much luck with them over the years but I’ll just try and summarise it the best I can.
I applied for a part time position in a call centre and about 2 hours later I got an email saying I’d passed the first stage and that I’d be getting a phone call shortly to discuss the phone interview stage. I was clearly excited for this as I’ve been struggling with jobs for almost 3 years now due to stress and anxiety of college not working out for me.
What made me even more excited is that I received TWO emails stating that I’d passed and that they can’t wait to speak to me so I thought that might have been some good luck.
So I’m sat there, waiting for this call and it comes through and I’m nervous but answer and boy oh boy... a short intro to tell me that yes indeed it is the company I was expecting and verifying who I am.
Here’s where I get a bit lost, this guy starts immediately grilling me and asking me why I didn’t answer his calls in November and I was completely caught off guard at first but told him that I had been given another opportunity at the time where I was actually training in another job that I thought I was going to get so I thought there was no point in starting anything else in another job so I just stopped answering the calls (must have been like 2 calls at most) because I assumed that’s what people do when, y’know, they get another job or assume they are.
So I told him that and got nothing more than an ‘mm’ in reply and then straight away moves on and says ‘why didn’t you answer my calls in January?’. Now I was just confused at this point because I didn’t apply to this company at all at any point in January and I know that for sure because I was having medical problems back then so I told him that I genuinely don’t know what he’s talking about and that I didn’t apply in January.
He then basically tells me that they won’t be accepting my application anymore and that I’m not welcome there? I’m genuinely... so confused.
Like I said I’m new to jobs and I know I probably should have just rang him up in November and told him I have another job lined up but basically banning me from ever working there because of it?
It’s seriously demotivated me a little bit because I honestly don’t understand what I’ve done so wrongly, especially because I was hopeful and expecting a great phone call and I was just put down.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
qOC0n64bWa7gAld76fI51MoNzLtwbAEz
|
a9elc2
|
{
"description": "wanting my friends to lose weight",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for wanting my friends to lose weight?
|
Backstory: Me and my best friend since elementary school have recently become good friends with a group of people at the college we attended. They’re all really genuine people and have helped me through some tough times, essentially I think they’re great.
Story: However, my best friend is very close to them and started dating one of the people in the group (lets call them W) and now their eating habits are slowly beginning to rub off onto him. I love them all to death but they’re all very overweight and I worry that they’re seriously hurting their future. My best friends family has a history of obesity and he works hard to maintain his weight but since he’s been dating W I can tell he’s gaining weight. I want to talk to them or somehow address the issue but I feel I will be met with anger. Their eating habits are pretty much the only issue I have with them as a group and I’m seriously thinking of writing a letter or talking to some of them because I want them to change, it’s not just damaging their lives but any children the couples in our group have too.
Am I the asshole for wanting them to lose weight? Or is this something I have no control over without pissing everyone off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
O7R72bRlsEJNkqIOrOjYMQ0Q35ZoqShe
|
b5ja65
|
{
"description": "choosing to \"ghost\" someone rather than explain why I felt uncomfortable",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for choosing to "ghost" someone rather than explain why I felt uncomfortable?
|
I started having text conversations with this married guy. I met him once, back in college. Since then we've just admired each other from afar on social media. Until one day we struck up a convo and I decided to give him my phone number, thinking hey, why not, I could use more friends in my life.
On and off since this past summer we texted, but it got more frequent since the beginning of this month. We exchanged favorite songs and talked about TV shows, sending occasional (PG) pics on Snapchat. He started sending snaps of himself playing guitar and singing to me. Thats when it got weird. I'll admit, I was enthusiastic the whole time. I thought, hey, this guy's pretty rad. He's big into music, so maybe it isn't too weird for him to just be sending these kind of "more intimate" snaps.. until he said "he's never done that for anyone else before". During our last convo (which took place over Snapchat) I suggested we grab a bite to eat some time soon. Well in that same night, he kept showering me with compliments. "You're so cool / unique / rad", "You're way too good to be talking to me" etc etc. Really odd things to be saying to someone that you just want to be friends with. I started to regret inviting him out to eat. Let me emphasize again.. he's MARRIED. He just had his anniversary too. Not ONCE did he bring up his wife in conversation. I brought it up just to congratulate him.
The convo was getting more complicated (long chunks of text to each other), and I was starting to feel like it was getting too serious and personal (not sexual). It was getting late so I put my phone down to try to sleep. Twenty minutes later, he's STILL messaging. That's when I sort of went into panic mode. From personal experience, when a guy I'm not romantically interested in messages me later at night, it's never good. So I never opened his last messages, because I don't want Snapchat to show it as "opened". So I left it. All because I didn't quite know how to say "Hey, I know you want to be friends, but you're married. Is your lady comfortable with this?" It sounds simple in theory to say, but I don't know. I chose the route of "ghosting" because I just had a bad feeling in my gut if the convo were to continue. I think I didn't actually WANT him to reassure me that it was ok, just so we'd actually hang out. Truth is, at that point, I no longer wanted to hang out. The interest in being friends just kind of left after seeing the way he kept trying to talk to me.
Here's where the guilt comes in. A friend mentioned something the other day about how "you're basically a coward if you ghost someone, because it means you can't actually express your true feelings". Well, my argument is that, you don't owe people explanations all the time. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, it's perfectly fine to ghost.
But... there's a voice in the back of my mind that's saying, "is it, though?"
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
XyYadYG9eFjHahTdOtk9Kxg9c0mkua1L
|
ba8p5m
| null |
AITA Dish dispute
|
I live in a house with a lot of people, there are 12 of us, one of those people is my Nephews best friend let's call him Jay he's 18. Jay's lived with us long enough that he is expected to do chores which he doesn't complain about.
One of Jays chores is doing the dishes. It can be a lot of work because dishes pile up pretty quickly with so many people in the house.
He'll do the dishes completely unprompted some times. Which is great.
Or it would be great if he could Actually do the dishes. But the thing is that he is Terrible at washing dishes. He Might splash a bit of water on a dish Maybe. He never scrubs any dishes at all. I don't think I've ever even Seen Jay hold a sponge. Dishes go into the dishwasher cakes with food. He leaves every sharp eating utensil facing sharp side up, I have been stabbed a number of times, and he often starts the dishwasher without putting Any soap in. I don't know what unicorn magic this kid thinks out dishwasher runs on but it sure doesn't.
One of my main problems is that most of the time I have to rewash the dishes he's "done" and it takes me away from cleaning the stuff in the sink. It gives me a lot more work and dishes are already difficult for me to do with my bad shoulder.
I don't know if I should ban him from dishes, teach him how to Actually clean things or just keep stewing silently and glaring at his latest attempt at doing the dishes.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
a8znjMgWGHhkw9dGDkSubsQuOaYy7vsL
|
ak43yp
|
{
"description": "being rude/angry with my mother without intention",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being rude/angry with my mother without intention?
|
Get ready for a therapy session, cause here we go:
My mom has had alcohol addiction problems almost my entire life. Growing up I had almost no friends and so she was my deepest confidant. Then I got old enough (mid to late high school) and realized that she had been drunk essentially my entire childhood. She had been under the influence driving me for hundreds of miles to campgrounds (one time on a cliff, it's the only time I knew what was happening during tho), under the influence when I cried on her shoulder, under the influence when I wanted advice.
My dad thought tough love would work and that's how he handled it once I (the youngest of the kids) was aware of it. She's gone to rehab, halfway houses, 12step, all if it. My dad went into crippling debt to help her and despite that he kept us afloat. My childhood memories have shifted from my mother being my best friend to my father being a man who worked non-stop despite problems to give us the best life possible. I cherish him for this.
My mother and I have had a strained relationship since I left highschool. She's tried to guilt, pressure, and bribe me to include her in my life. Knowing how deep seeded my distrust of our relationship is, I get angry easily and now that my dad is in his 70s, I get enraged that she manipulates him. He's basically given up on helping her and now just tries to hide it.
My husband and I made an offer in hopes of repairing this relationship. They come buy property here where 100% of his family is (*my* family too, in laws or not) and we would live on the property in a separate house and help them as they are no longer capable of being 100% independent. In return they would be near their incoming grandchild and try to have that bond restored. I'm from here, so it was really just asking them to come home.
They eagerly accepted, bought acreage with two houses and began moving. My husband and I agreed to move into to our house early (serious repairs required) so that they could have our rent as the mortgage was at the top of what they could afford.
We have since realized we are getting the short end of this. I expected most of it, but a few things bother me. My father, once calming and logical and doting, has turned to blame me for everything my mother does. She was required to stop drinking or not see the baby, end of story, and she agreed to it beforehand. She has not, and my father blames me and my trust issues as the reason she hasn't stopped. He is aggressive and hurtful in ways he never was before.
I will not deny that I am firm, blunt, and have no patience for her gerrymandering. I see it for what it is and don't let her manipulate me like she does my older sister.
Now that I am very much pregnant, the pressures and blame they have placed on me have become overwhelming and I'm starting to sleep all day on my days off, etc. I know that I have the power to change myself and so does my mother. So when she tries to blame me, I hold firm. Yet I still don't have reliable water, a shower, washer and dryer, or even fucking floors in parts of my house. I am five months pregnant. I am grumpy and upset and tired of her bullshit. The physical issues our house only add to it.
I can't help but see my mother as useless, having never worked consistently and blaming my dad for everything while being jealous and wanting anything anyone has for herself. I have worked since I was 14 and been independent since the day I left highschool. I'm not perfect, but I have never let myself fall on others to save me because I see it in my mother and despise it.
This is not what we signed up for.
I would like to think you'll say I'm NTA, but sometimes even my husband says I'm making things harder. That's surprises me because he's been so supportive this whole time. Yet he has told me on several occasions that I am a terrifying when I'm mad and I'm *always* mad at my mom. But he thinks her behavior is wrong too.
I don't expect to change my mother's behavior, but I intend to change mine if I must. So please tell me, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
sZrCUpWvtCJ7NYmSlcZSLXAcXrws4hyb
|
au3wes
|
{
"description": "wanting my friend to be happy",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For Wanting My Friend to Be Happy?
|
Ok, so the title may automatically make me NOT sound like the asshole, but allow me to explain.
My friend, we'll call her A, has divorced parents. She is usually with her father, but of course still visits her mother sometimes. A loves her Dad more than you can imagine. They have a lot in common, and they can always make each other laugh. A's mom, on the other hand...that's a different story. A still loves her mom (I think) but definitely not as much as her father. Her mom has a boyfriend that annoys the shit out of A, they don't have much in common, and A generally isn't happy around her mom for many other reasons that I have forgot (Yeah, there's a lot of reasons, and it's not easy to keep track of them).
One day during lunch, A was talking about her mom being a bitch to her and stuff like that. The following conversation went something like this:
Me: I'm glad you're around your dad more than your mom.
A, in an offended tone: Why?
Me: ..Because..your mom doesn't seem like the nicest person... (I get nervous when people seem offended by what I say, and I kind of just spit out words. I basically meant that I knew she was happier around her father, which is why I said my first line of dialogue.)
A, even more offended: You don't get to say that about my mom. You don't even know her. I can say that stuff because she's my mom, but you can't. * Walks away angrily *
I didn't know what just happened. I later tried to explain what I meant, but it was no use. She was still mad. I never actually meant to say that her mom was a bitch or anything, but it just kind of happened anyway because my brain doesnt like confrontation. Am I the asshole here? (Sorry this was a shorter story btw)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
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