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b0yVmOsMlEFrVmtr40BC0s1t75serPpH
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b1lkks
| null |
AITA Friends and My Arugment
|
Ok so for starters I had a friend who I was really close too
Recently I got sick and was realy loopy in general. She had sent videos to me and a friend of her doing tik toks and I found them really funny. I then sent the videos to my other friends to see their reaction (again wasn't thinking straight as I was loopy).
The other friend that she sent the videos saw that I sent the tiktoks to my other friends and told her. The next few days they were trying to get me to respond, but i had my phone taken away right as I was going to read what they were saying.
I then said Hi into the group chat we had over a consol called a Xbox. She replied and asked why i never responded. I explained and she said "Alright, but can you not like send videos of me. Thats a invasion of privacy" I then said sorry and explained why I sent the videos and how I wasn't thinking straight.
And by the way while we were texting over the xbox, it became really time consuming and hard because I was also playing a game at the same time who was yelling at ne to help him as he was being killed. She then asked me not to send the videos and to never do it again. And after i didn't respond right away she asked "Ok?" Me wanting to respond to her but also trying to keep it short replied with "K. Kind of busy right now".
She then starting 'Yelling' at me about how she thought I wasn't listening and how I was taking this lightly. I was getting very irratated from my brother yelling at me and me trying to reply to her at the best of my ability retorted with "You don't always get the attention you want [Friends name]". I am very ashamed and I beat myself up about it because I should have said something else. She then went balistic and yelled at me some more with explaining I was sorry and such, I then snapped and said "I'm sorry but I'm leaving".
She then went on to tell all her friends about how i sent those videos because 'They were in my gallery' and stuff like that, which i have never said in the argument we had. We then had another confrontation in another group chat with a new person. She basically pulled out everything she said to her friends about the gallery thing and how I lied about everything and used my brother as an excuse for my outburst. The other guy then said I don't talk to snakes and block my number while saying "I hope you figure out your a f*cking B*txt" and thats about it.
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fhYRTx0r8xp0c3mzX6KWl13PgvHHYlFj
|
ay4ohg
|
{
"description": "wanting more of a reaction from friend when I came out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
Aita for wanting more of a reaction from friend when I came out?
|
The chat went along like this:
Me: I'm bisexual.
Friend : ok
Me: Nothing else? I can't see your faces nor reactions (it was in a messenger group with me and two of my friends, the other just haven't seen the butt load of messages in the chat, so he is irrelevant for the time being)
Friend doesn't respond.
Me: sorry, I was impolite.
Later. Me: can you forgive me?
Now he is has me on read, and I'm nervous as fuck. As far as I know, he hasn't been influenced in a homophobic way, but neither by the LGBT community, so I didn't know how he would react. Cobble that together with it being over messages, and 8 in the evening.
But I would think that when one of your best friends comes out, and tells them they are bisexual, over the phone, as they haven't been able to do in first person, a bland 'ok' just doesn't seem to fit.
I will confront him tomorrow if he comes to school, he went home today with stomach ache.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
6oskDGt1m8DiUwTH9uQu0USVSk1hYcUB
|
az22lx
|
{
"description": "not crying at my great-grandmother's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not crying at my great-grandmother's funeral?
|
My great-grandmother died about a month ago and they were having her cremated at a crematorium for the funeral. During the service, I noticed most of the other people in the room were crying or close to it, but I didn't want to, nor did I feel like I wanted to. My mum afterwards thought I was holding it in and wasn't happy about it, but I honestly didn't feel the need to cry at all. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XXuSdKoSP4BGl5Ga04cF4vLeGzxum0P5
|
a8tr45
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my ex for dating someone else",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my ex for dating someone else?
|
So me and my ex were engaged about a week and a half ago. We decided it would be best for us to not be together. I need to get some medical stuff done so for the time being we’re still living together. We were really close and together for almost two years. We’d broken up before hand and he immediately jumped to saying another person. Like within a day. This has happened three times before we moved in together. My issue is this. We talked and I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t just going to jump into another relationship to make up for what I lack and then come back to me like the other times. I’m planning to go back to the south and doing this would fuck a lot of things up this time. So we both promised not to get into another relationship for two weeks. So that we both have time to slowly wean off of our relationship, and so we aren’t jumping to someone random. 3 days after that I find out he’s dating someone. He’s over there all the time, he’s stopped caring at all about my feelings: canceled plans to make them with him(things I’ve worked on for a long time), the time we spend together he’s not focused at all(texting, etc) even though I’m doing a lot(cooking crab legs, finding movies for us to watch, etc). It’s been pretty annoying but tonight he was gonna go out drinking(he’s 21 I’m 19) so I said to have fun and be safe, he said it back and left. He’s usually out and back by 10-11 but I woke up at 3 and he texted me at like 1 am saying “not coming home tonight, see you tomorrow”. He went off to his new boyfriends house. As I’m typing this I feel more like the asshole but I go really upset. I haven’t said anything but I’m still really pissed off. It felt like a huge kick in the face. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
f9omruSGAx1hnrd2mu82msHoVnHvNlbX
|
b3neq8
| null |
AITA for my music volume?
|
I live in a college dorm. I know all my neighbors. It's currently finals week. I was playing music around the same volume I've played music almost every night since september. I know all the people who live nearby in my hall (not well, but I know their faces) and I haven't had a volume complaint ever. However, today a guy, who doesn't live in my hall, knocked on my door at 10:30 PM to tell me that "I might be disturbing others with my music" and he reminded me that it's finals week. Finals are monday-thursday and most students are done by wednesday evening (it is wednesday night).
I know I seem like the asshole for playing music at night during finals week but I've heard, from the hall, music my next door neighbor has played before but once I go in my dorm, I can't hear it, meaning music is more audible in the hall than in the dorms and since I know the guy who complained doesn't live in the dorms close to me, he could've only heard my music from the hall.
Either way, I turned my music off roughly a half hour later, despite thinking my music was at a respectable volume, because it was roughly the same volume I always play it at and haven't recieved a complaint from my neighbors.
Would I have been the asshole for continuing to play my music or is the other guy an asshole for complaining about music that definitely can't be heard from his dorm room?
Sidenote: It's a small college, I know this guy lives on the complete opposite side of the building, where he couldn't hear me if I yelled at the top of my lungs, unless he was walking by my dorm at the time. People walk past my door regularly but I've never had a person who lives close complain about my music volume. Am I the asshole for being upset that this guy complained when I know he can't hear my music from his dorm or is he the asshole for being nosy and complaining about something that seemingly hasn't bothered anyone in the last 6 months?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
IAjbupFLObxpYSHCmpp8fbMIN9NzmuTi
|
azegal
|
{
"description": "hitting a lady",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For hitting a lady?
|
When I was a little 5year old I loved biking. So I went into a park every now and then with my dad so we could have fun... Most of the times it was OK and my dad almost every time brings his bicycle with him. Not this time. This time he wanted to walk, because he wasn't in the mood for biking... So I went like a speeding demon trying to kill everyone that was I front of me. I forgot to mention that my dad didn't raise a spoiled brat. I knew when to stop and to listen to him when he said slow down. So I was going to normally on a new bike and two old ladies where walking. Normal right? No. I accidentally hit one of them with my front wheel. This is how the conversation went:
-I am so sorry, are you OK?
-OW mu butt, what is your problem.
-Miss I am sorry I didn't mean to.
-What can I do with your stupid sorries?
-I didn't mean t... My dad interapses me.
-Miss chill he is just a little kiddo.
-I don't care he should be more careful.
-But he didn't mean to, so please stop shouting at him.
So I am in the background feeling sad and looking down while I feel sorry for the woman while my dad is talking to her relaxed while she is talking mad trash about me and how they raised me.
So after the talk my dad cursed a little and we continued the day.
I still felt very sad and bad about the woman but also good because she talked bad about a 5year old.
I don't know if I am the asshole or she is or my dad.
I will leave it up to you
(sorry for the bad vocabulary and grammar I am still studying English and I live in Greece and I have gotten a little rusty)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
oe6kMBj3vOMe1gYFxKyAHAJ181KnJ1VO
|
b1bm7u
|
{
"description": "confessing to a girl who recently broke up with her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for confessing to a girl who recently broke up with her boyfriend?
|
So I’ve known this girl for over a year now and we’ve spent so much time together alone. I guess as much time most couples who aren’t living together would spend together - maybe more.
She was there for me through some hard times and would always offer me so much emotional support, support I’d never experienced before. That’s one of the major reasons I fell for her.
She was in a long distance relationship with her ex boyfriend for three years. He was always well aware of when we would meet up alone and she always told me he was fine with it.
Nothing ever happened between us and I never wished for them to break up because I didn’t want her to go through that heart break. Yes, I was jealous but I was happy knowing she still cared for me even if it wasn’t romantically. I was hoping eventually my feelings would begin to disappear.
After she broke up with him 2 weeks ago, it hurt her and she started acting differently towards me. It freaked me out so I told her about my feelings towards her. She told me I wasn’t being understanding of the situation she was in - which I agree with but I guess I lacked patience. I asked her if she felt anything towards me and she didn’t answer - she just told me how upset she was at the whole situation.
Did I do the wrong thing by telling her how I felt?
Any advice would be great, thank you.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
z9Aiev4IPAWUL3Z1xmIIpb3jem2Sozzo
|
akhbyg
|
{
"description": "wanting to speak up to my 90 year old grandparents when they start discussing politics",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to speak up to my 90 year old grandparents when they start discussing politics?
|
I’m only around my grandparents a few times a year, but get annoyed when they always manage to bring up politics around Thanksgiving and Christmas. No big deal, that’s just what relatives do.
I’ve voiced concerns with my parents in the past about how they bring political discussions into the mix when it has nothing to do with the conversation and assume I have the same beliefs as them. At Christmas, I was discussing the stock market and how 2018 was a historically bad year. Next thing I know, my grandfather turns it into how the Democrats refuse to give Trump any credit.
I told my Dad about it and explained that I want to speak up next time to share my opinions when they force politics into the discussion. My Dad says because he is old and really cares for me, I should just continue to nod along and not speak up. He feels that it would break my grandfather’s heart to speak up in opposition of his views. I feel that I’m a 24 year old adult and should not just nod mindlessly to something I disagree with.
Am I the asshole for wanting to speak up with a conflicting opinion or should I just keep my mouth shut until my grandparents die?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
4yOXjDh9hBdauFrbmwSmQ80Ml5bSC7ZN
|
ad7kx7
|
{
"description": "being wrong",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being wrong?
|
I commented on the post about Bre Payton a few days ago. I said how she was probably ignorant and anti-vaccine and stupid (now I see I was mostly wrong). Someone disagreed with me (in a poo poo way imo). I tried explaining in a normal sorta way. commenter still didn't understand, and was kinda being a huge butthead. is sarcasm over the top for a discussion like this? death is kinda serious, so it's ok to be emotional. But she was being a butt.
But also I was wrong, so I feel like sarcasm is ironic, or it at least makes me seem like an arrogant asshole.
AITA?
[Orginal Thread](https://reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/acpv1i/_/ede1ejm/?context=1)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
nJwqxJmgtJL7hUsuaFausFATRiX76FrH
|
ayeo4z
|
{
"description": "considering going to a con during my friend's graduation",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for considering going to a con during my friend's graduation?
|
The title is bad and I know I do sound like an asshole, but this is the 2nd time some shit like this happened with her?
The first time was a concert and my mom bought all our tickets early and the cost was $60. She had brought up this concert and how she wanted to go and I mentioned it to my mom since she likes concerts no matter the genre. I wanted to go because I want to spend time with my best friend. Anyway, day of the concert rolls around and I go to her house to pick her up.
SHE'S 3 HOURS AWAY AT HER BOARDING SCHOOL AND NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME.
We didn't make it to the concert but we got to hang out.
Now she brought up an anime convention, we went to different anime con 2 years ago together and I loved it so I got my ticket for this con yesterday because the price is only going to go up if I wait.
She brings up today that her graduation is on the first day of this convention. I wouldn't care too much about missing the 1st day to go to her graduation. But she has to pack her stuff up from school and take it back home. She can't come.
I'm pissed and I wanna go because I'm already planning and buying stuff for my cosplays. And I can't get my $65 back!
TL;DR, best friend invites me to anime con and I say yes and buy a nonrefundable $65 ticket. She can't come bc of graduation and moving from boarding school.
Am I the asshole???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mgAMHToR9fKBc3SVDwJex1YDs7lE3OMK
|
b4aw2w
|
{
"description": "leaving friend at the trainstation",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For leaving friend at the trainstation
|
This just happened. My friend and I ate and went to a bar together and when we arrived at the trainstation to go back home he missed his train but I was still on time for mine. I have an early shift at the hospital tomorrow so I told him I had to go. He had to wait 30 min for his train to come. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HisRyW82d2aluEnhlbLfjf4MOj5PTOyt
|
9upwb3
|
{
"description": "not wanting my friend to buy me a vinyl player for my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my friend to buy me a vinyl player for my birthday
|
My girlfriend recently gifted me my first vinyl and later, my friend said that he was buying me a vinyl player for my birthday. However, I told him that it would be a waste of money as I wasn’t interested in playing the vinyl.
He got pissed that I wouldn’t appreciate the gift and now everyone thinks I’m the asshole because I wasn’t appreciative of the gift.
I’m really not interested in playing vinyl and I only wanted to collect vinyl in my room. So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VOrCynq0lxsJ95bvFm9WjSG4EOMzQOpP
|
apasq1
| null |
AITA for yelling?
|
Recently I was walking my dog (a small blue heeler lab mix) in my neighborhood. He’s a very happy and nice dog who is very friendly. As we were walking we came up on a neighbor who I had seen some in the past. I started to wave My dog began to circle around her and joyfully wag his tail. Im guessing she felt threatened by him or something because she started to kick him a bit and yell. She called him a dumb mutt and cursed at him. So I lost my temper and did something I never do. I yelled at her for being a jerk and got into a heated argument with her before storming away with my dog. I feel bad but did she deserve it? Am I the Asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
y3DHveTwgsQARav82Ug5BARO2TpdJP8V
|
axsydw
|
{
"description": "wanting my grade to be bumped to an a",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting my grade to be bumped to an A?
|
So my high school calculates GPA on a 4.0 scale, but there is no weighting in between the 3.0 and 4.0, 2.0 and 3.0 etc. For example, if you get a 75, that will equal a "C," or a 2.0 towards your GPA. If you get a 72, it will also equal a "C" and a 2.0 towards your GPA. Regardless of whatever number in between 70 and 79 you got, it will still count as a C and a 2.0.
Last year, in my Junior year of high school, I finished with an 89.35 in a class, which will not round up to an "A," it will remain a "B." I missed the score by 0.15. I have finished with borderline grades twice before, but both times the teachers used some magic to bump me up to an "A," because to their logic, why should I receive the same grade as the kid who just skirted by with a 79.6.
Unfortunately for me, this last teacher was not so kind and did not lift my grade up. Needless to say I was incredibly frustrated.
My question to you all, is were my frustrations justified, or am I just being an entitled asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
nZYh0Vz6wfIrwHiM4wlLfiBUND5mrXsE
|
b4nknn
|
{
"description": "insisting on a call and text only relationship until she gets her bedbug situation taken care of",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for insisting on a call and text only relationship until she gets her bedbug situation taken care of?
|
My girlfriend has bedbugs. She’s said she only found three and told her apartment manager. Exterminators are coming next week. I’ve been present and quick to answer calls and texts from her, but I really don’t want to take any chances on them spreading to me. She’s feeling hurt about it. She said that she would shower, get dressed from the clothes that were just washed, and leave her apartment without touching anything. That there would be no way they would spread.
I feel bad for her. I miss her too. I’ve just went through that hell before and never want to again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FZd1qyMTz2TWeYxr6EsrbB5rb4FQfr7D
|
apwnto
|
{
"description": "not telling my date that I have loose skin",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not telling my date that I have loose skin?
|
I've lost over 60 kg a year ago and my body obviously kept traces of it - I have loose skin (mainly on my stomach), stretch marks, and my boobs are saggy.
I started seeing this guy from uni ~ 3 weeks ago. We've been on 5 dates and yesterday ended up at his place. When I took my clothes off he started to seem less eager and switched the lights out. We did the deed, but he didn't seem to be into it all that much, but I didn't think about it a lot - I thought he might be just nervous or something.
Today he texted me that he is sorry but it would be better if we broke it off, that he's not attracted to me and it wouldn't work out.
He knew that I've lost weight - we talked about it because we are both into fitness and health. I thought that it would cross his mind that I probably don't look like a fitness model under my clothes and that the weight just didn't dissapear without a trace.
I'm really dumbfounded right now and feel like shit. I understand that how I look like is off putting to him (though it hurts), but I really think that he should have expected that. Was it unfair from me that I didn't tell him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
YOxetFXA1B1ohWFXViECQ7St2xFFxugQ
|
amhme2
|
{
"description": "thinking my friend has been mean spirited",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking my friend has been mean spirited?
|
This friend, let’s call her Mary.
So Mary and I have been friends for a few years. We both have writing blogs on tumblr, and at the start of our friendship we both had very few followers and we’re both pretty unknown.
Anyway, a year or so later mine suddenly got a lot of attention and a lot of followers. People were telling me how much they loved my writing and offering critique and things of that nature. I was eternally grateful for all of those nice people, and it’s really help me improve my writing.
Anyway, Mary knows a lot about me. I told her a while ago that I was into BDSM. She seemed so cool with it, which was great for me. Then randomly, out of nowhere, she calls me an asshole for glorifying and sexualizing abuse and said anyone who’s a dom is a bad person and has something seriously wrong with them. This really hurt me, especially since one of my BEST FRIENDS is a dom. I tried to explain to her that BDSM is about consent and being safe, sane, and consensual and that people can leave the relationship at any time if they feel unsafe, but she wasn’t having it, and insisted I was a bad person for having a kink.
Anyway, so I didn’t talk to her for a bit, but slowly we started talking again. We continue to write and create stories, and things continue on as normal.
Mary would often write fanfic of my characters sometimes (short 1k word dribbles, nothing serious) and I would always reblog them and be like, “this is so good!!! Follow my friend she’s great!!!”
Then one day, out of the blue, she tells me that my writing is shitty and that if she were me, she would change everything about the characters and story and then proceeded to compare one of my main characters to a character in a series that she hated, and said that character was leagues above mine even though she thought that character was horribly, horribly written. It’s worth noting that she has never bothered to read more than a few pages of my story, and has admitted that she’s only read maybe the first couple chapters about a year ago. There’s like 50+ chapters now. But she justifies it with, “I don’t need to eat the whole sandwich to know that it’s shitty.”
Anyway, I felt really hurt by this. I’m really fine with constructive criticism. My close friends and I critique each other’s stuff all the time and help each other improve. But I felt like what Mary said to me had crossed some sort of line, but I didn’t want to come across as too sensitive. So I had my friends read the entire conversation me and Mary had because I didn’t want to be biased(I had screenshotted it and cropped out her name so they wouldn’t know who I was talking about) and they were completely flabbergasted that a “friend” would say that to another friend.
I ended up talking to her about it like a few months ago, and she seemed to think she didn’t do anything wrong.
One of my friends told me that she thinks Mary is jealous because we started off with the same amount of followers, but now I have so many more than her and she hasn’t grown much since then, even though she posts frequently. I don’t wanna accuse her of being jealous because I feel that’s unfair, and maybe I am just a terrible writer and the thousands of people that read my stories are just too nice to tell me. Idk. I really don’t mind constructive criticism at all, but she came across really harsh.
So. AITA for thinking she was a little out of line? I really do think of her as a good friend, and I don’t want to lose her
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a9ie6j
| null |
AITA? Me and my friend fell out and I feel like it's all my fault :/
|
Hey guys. Need some input on this situation, judge away. I'm so so sorry if it's hard to understand :/
​
So me and this girl. Let's call her Janet, were really good friends all throughout school (don't want to give away my age but I'm out of school now). We were both on and off friends with a girl named Nancy who was just crazy, I mean she tried to choke someone in front of me when we were very young and for years showed no remorse just said "Well he had it coming". A couple years before this we ditched her for a good 2 years, took her back because hindsight 20/20 we were both extremely mentally unstable.
​
Anyways towards the end of our last year we all started falling out. Our other friend got into a fight with Nancy and that was the final straw that I just ditched them all because I figured, oh well. Graduation is right around the corner and I'll meet some new people. I was also being extremely abused at home (like I don't want to talk about it but I'm really slutty now and the abuse explains why...) so that was just another factor that I didn't give a shit and was super depressed. I know that's not an excuse, because Janet was there with me through *everything* but you know when things like that happen you isolate yourself so you don't have to talk about it. But she was also friends with Nancy which is like :/ uh no she's super toxic and stuff.
​
After graduation she tried to reconnect with me but I was still depressed, still living with my parents so still being abused, and just didn't want to be friends with anyone really.
​
So now this year, it's been a little while. I have more freedom and while I can't say I'm in a better place I'm in a much more social one. I notice she has me added on a social media site I use (she added me first) and she's also friends with some of my close friends because she's still a student in a city nearby us. So I send her a message saying "hey. sorry we fell out. I was having some problems with Nancy and just not doing my best. I don't expect you to want to, but if you do lets be friends?"
​
And she responds "Oh sure! I don't hold it against you!"
​
Then we send a few messages and then she just ghosts me. Uh ouch. I figure she just doesn't want to be friends? Ok I can deal lol.
​
One day I'm hanging out with aforementioned close friends she's friends with and since she's in town she decides to stop by and get lunch with us. I try to play nice and stuff and make a few jokes about when we were in school, ask her how the commute is from our city to her's etc. But she just rolls her eyes, gives a passive aggressive response or acts like I don't exist. So basically I think that's the final nail on the coffin. We aren't ever going to be friends again lol.
​
But-Reddit. Who was at fault? I think it was me because she wanted to reconnect but I rejected her, which was a shitty thing for me to do. But on the other hand maybe it was just inveitable?
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HISTORICAL
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rr9axa6Rkv3TziUiAG78jfUrBpRFgXb5
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ai8bd2
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{
"description": "keeping quiet about my friend's auto mechanic fees",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I keep quiet about my friend's auto mechanic fees
|
My friend is teaching me to drive. His car is quite old and had several previous repairs.
Last Saturday's lesson was tricky and more than average clutch work, so I stalled more. We were going to pick up another friend and go downtown after the lesson. After picking up our other friend, we were on our way and his clutch wouldn't go back up at one point. We pulled over, he tried solving the problem to no avail. Since my other friend and I couldn't find a permissible parking space near the area we were in, he had to call a tow truck. His car is at the mechanic's and it was a problem with some fluid that was too complicated for him to fix himself, and it might put his car out of commission for good.
I messaged him asking what time he'll get his car back on Monday, but no response. The car is his only reliable way to get to work. Money is tight for both of us. WIBTA if I don't ask anything about mechanic/tow truck fees, knowing that my lack of stick shift skills might have caused the clutch problem?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Btis0HCKpTsQeszs4Ob3riOHHPgcx6DI
|
9yrg9b
|
{
"description": "driving below the speed limit on the outermost lane on the freeway",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for driving below the speed limit on the outermost lane on the freeway?
|
Driving on the rightmost lane ("fast lane", this being straya, and proud of our colonial heritage we drive on the ~~wrong~~ *proper* side), the traffic began slowing down and speeding up in cycles - it slowed down to ~40 km/h, sometimes almost stopping, picked up again, and repeated every minute or so - for no apparent reason. After a couple of these cycles, I decided there's no point in accelerating back to 100 just to slow down again, so I stuck to a fairly constant speed, around 70kmh, that let me keep up with the traffic without having to hit the brakes, but of course I ended up letting a rather large gap form in front of me during the peaks of the cycles. During one of these peaks, I was overtaken on the left by a man in an Infinity who communicated to me, using his hands and horn, that he did not find my decision satisfactory.
I could have moved to the left without any hassle if I had been a bit more aggressive, but the freeway was fairly packed and since my exit was still a fair distance away, I wasn't in a hurry to move over and took my sweet while to find a comfortably large gap before I started switching lanes. Was I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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|
ptYmeTdEFADoQVx5WUfLfWGkRoEOxavK
|
a8hbuf
|
{
"description": "knowingly letting my friendship deteriorate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for knowingly letting my friendship deteriorate?
|
I'm going to try and be as unbiased as possible. Also this is very long so go back if you don't want to read a novel.
Quick Context: We met during a really bad time in my life and I needed a good friend. From the first few times we hung out, she wanted me to live with her as she knew my living situation was not the best. I declined for a few months but eventually caved as she was persistent. I moved into the smallest bedroom of the house and paid cheap rent. We hung out all the time and shared some really good moments together. I loved her alot. We lived together for two years.
The Story: I was living with my dog, her, her dog and her boyfriend. Everything was pretty alright allot of the time. She and I spent alot of time alone as her boyfriend was a workaholic. We used to go to shows together, go to the park and go on trips together just the two of us. Like I said I was in a bad time in my life so I didn't think too much of myself. I liked what she liked. Did what she did. I went where she went. If she didnt care for something, neither did I. Honestly I lost myself a bit during that time. We did everything together and she seemed pretty happy to have me as her best friend so that made me content.
By year two my boyfriend was also living there as well as a 5th person and my anxiety was almost unmanageable. I started going to a therapist and that helped tremendously. That was about the same time that I started getting fed up with a few things. My original roommates(the couple) were not treating my dog very well. Everyone who lived there was in a group chat and the chat turned into a method of calling people out and embarrassing them(namely me and my boyfriend). Specifically I was noticing things about my friend that I didn't like i.e. her treating my dog badly(punishing hhim, locking him in my room and not letting him out, calling him names), acting like her dog was more important than my dog, insisting that she's right despite anything proving otherwise, her essentially pitching a fit if things didn't go her way. Things weren't always bad but I just couldn't ignore it when they were and I expressed these concerns more and more to my therapist each week.
The straw that broke the camels back was one day she yelled and screamed about something trivial and stormed out of the house. It wasn't directly at me but the entire house. Because of my high anxiety I ended up having a panic attack in my room. After calming down I decided no more. I made up my mind to stay out of the house as much as possible and when I did have to be home (which wasn't often)I kept my room door closed, only leaving for food and bathroom needs. I stopped hanging out with her all the time and I finally made some time for my family and other people. I explored new friendships. The time that I spent away from her was good for me but at the same time I did have the hope that she would notice I wasn't around and realize she was pushing me away. There were a few times we did hang out over this period but it was always with a group of mutual friends and I didn't interact with her very much.
The Beginning of the End: Well she finds out I am planning a trip with a friend of mine. This trip happens to fall on a day that she wants to throw a last minute party. She tells me I have to cancel my plans and come to her party instead because I'm her best friend. This is the first time I tell her no flat-out and it doesn't go well. After stewing and pouting, she ends up deciding to have the party another day. I said that to say this: the next day she confronts me about not being around. She tells me that I'm not making time for her and that she really needs me to do that. At this point I could have told her "I havent been hanging out with you because of A, B, and C" but I didn't think that would go over well. So I tell her I don't know what she's talking about and ask if this has anything to do with my refusal to cancel my plans with my other friend. Well turns out that was the wrong response because she absolutely blows up.
The Wrap-up: Our friendship doesn't end there but it might as well have because it just continues to get uglier and uglier from here on out. I don't regret ending the friendship by any means. Regardless, I feel like this was an opportunity for me to be honest and possibly start a dialogue with her, however my assumption that she wouldn't have taken it well caused me to not even give her a chance to redeem herself.
So, AITA?
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WRONG
|
LV7jttR73MZEiZXDcvzYaTBDHgExgxEC
|
b7pds6
|
{
"description": "letting my house mates food rot",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for letting my house mates food rot?
|
Lewis (House mate 27 m) is a pretty bad house mate. I will explain everything he has done to lead to me to consider to leave his food to rot. So i am 21 yet i feel like i take care of Lewis who prior 8 months i had no idea he existed so its not as if we have a history.
​
When i moved in Lewis was a chef and did crazy hours from 6 am till 10 pm so when he came home he never cleaned or anything but it was understandable because of his hours so i accepted this. Eventually he quit and became a sales person for a food delivery company. Now he was working the same hours as me and should be doing as much as me in terms of house work. But no, he is messy, lazy and every time i tell him to do something he will come with something to say to not do it. For example, our landlord was coming and we agreed we had to clean the place and he said why should he, and said its like "me shitting on his doorstep and asking him to clean it up" he probably hasn't cleaned the bathroom or kitchen in over 4 months.
​
He broke his iPhone charger and then asked me to fix it (as i am a bit of a techy) but i couldn't so i gave him a spare phone to use until he got a new charger which is only like 10 pounds. This lasted a month and he still didn't get a charger but i wanted my spare phone back so i had to go out of my way to get a charger so i could get my phone back. he didn't even thank me or pay me.
​
He never buys oil, toilet paper or any necessities and steals mine but every time i bring it up he says i'm being a tight f\*\*\* and that he never uses them which me and my other house mate know he does and its resulted in us hiding our stuff. He also never takes his house key and always expect us to open the door for him every night. My cousin and i decided to let him stay outside for 15 mins before we let him in, he started banging on the door that the neighbors came out to see what was going on.
​
So now to the part that this has lead up to which i feel is my revenge almost. Since he works for this food delivery place that sends him 10 meals a week and costs him 44 pounds. Delivery is every Sunday and he has gone Spain and hasn't cancelled this order or anything, i missed the delivery but they left the box outside. I just plan on leaving it there for him to find all rotten when he comes back. I'm not going out of my way to put it in the fridge. I've thought about maybe putting a sign on it saying take if you want for people passing by but then i feel he could report me for theft or something. So ive decided to just leave it and let it be. I know it's a waste of food and i feel bad it could be used but i don't want him to blame me, i'd rather he just learn a lesson.
​
​
​
So Reddit, i know he is an asshole. But with what i'm doing now AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
|
ffP3YDSJO7PcNZIJeSnR9yULCWIOg6fD
|
a8ziug
|
{
"description": "refusing sex after my boyfriend says he'll be sad if I end up pregnant and have an abortion",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I (17f) refuse sex after my boyfriend (17m) says he'll be sad if i end up pregnant and have an abortion?
|
So my boyfriend has never been 100% for abortion but he still lets women chose for themselves what they do with their own body. However, if i end up pregnant with his child, he doesn't want me to abort it, knowing that i am not (and honesty he's not either) in any way prepared or ready to have a kid. So, will I be the asshole if i bluntly refuse sex to keep him spared of losing a possible kid that'll make him sad, and me spared from going through a pregnancy that i'm in no way ready for?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
wkhpMYofCVHzxhzWcq3v2PZBEjua2jQD
|
9wndzk
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with this guy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with this guy?
|
So I hang with a group of friends and we're all pretty nerdy. We watch anime, play videogames, go to conventions, esports tournaments, etc. You get the gist, we're a bunch of geeks.
One day this guy just showed up and latched onto us. He was invited to our party and I honestly have no idea how he ended up here. He was somebody's sister's, classmate's, coworker's, teammate or something like that.
After the party ended, he'd somehow been invited to our group chat, which is think is a huge mistake.
Now we can't get rid of him without being super rude to his face. He invites himself to everything, and even when we ignore him, he starts messaging us individually asking for when we're hanging out. A few of the nicer people in our friend group just feel sorry for him and cave, and end up inviting him along.
He has nothing in common with us. He's loud, energetic, super active, and basically has no geeky interests at all. But he's so desperate for friends that he ends up going along with whatever we do, but just sticks out like a sore thumb.
For example, a few of us are are obsessed with an anime based mobile game, and occasionally we just sit down together and do nothing but grind events. Like we're that geeky. Some of us have multiple accounts and dual boot the app on our phone.
To fit in, he downloaded it and started playing even though he has no idea what it's even about. And he only ever plays it when we whip out our phones at designated double exp event times.
Or how we'll all go wait in line to watch the My Hero Academia movie, and he wants to tag along. Even though he has absolutely no idea what's going on. He's just so desperate I feel like an ass just for not reciprocating! He even COOKS for us, he's so desperate it's...I feel like an ass for not wanting to be friends.
Like why does this guy even want to be friends with us? Why can't he find friends with his own interests? None of us want to kick him out because we've all experienced being a cast out loner because of our weird hobbies, and he's genuinely nice. But he's making things so awkward for all of us!
Like if he only showed up occasionally, I wouldn't mind as much. But he shows up to literally everything, even when we're being passive aggressive and refuse to carpool with him, he'll drive an hour just to follow us to an event.
Am I an asshole for feeling absolutely nothing but annoyance towards a guy who hasn't done anything wrong but be different?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
1uOYpmk4x5aFptvjJWoS4x44hMFPdbbY
|
b3erwv
|
{
"description": "starting a relationship with my ex's roommate",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for starting a relationship with my ex’s roommate?
|
So here goes the story. My ex and i broke up last October over unrelated issues. Both of us had a role in the breakup but in the end I was the one who finalized it. He still loved me at the time of our breakup, so he wouldn’t see me or let me go to his house (where our whole friend group hung out) because it hurt him too bad. After about a month I missed him, as well as missing my friends at his house. I started flirting with him again and finally ended up asking him to start a friends-with-benefits situation. He agreed. We started hanging out all the time again and i would spend most nights at his house. His roommate, (my current boyfriend) was always there and he and i would end up sitting together while the group all hung out. His roommate and i clicked immediately and we would sometimes flirt with each other in front of my ex, but we never actually did anything physical besides some light snuggling. Eventually, my ex confronted me about liking his roommate and i told him the truth. I said that i wish i loved him back but that i can’t control who i like and who i connect with. We ended our friends-with-benefits and he promptly blocked me on all social media, cut me off from my remaining mutual friends, and made his roommate move out. He had to move back in with his mom. I’ve now apologized profusely to him for my mistakes and pain i caused him while we were dating as well as the dick stomping i did by dating his roommate. I’ve told him that i can’t change the past and can only be the best person I can be now. However he still is extremely upset and angry at both me and my boyfriend (his ex-roommate). He flexes on us and sends us hateful texts via other people’s phones, and he told my boyfriend that they could not be friends again until he breaks up with me.
After everything stacks up, am I still the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
ZGvlWKosNW0uto66b9ammJ1DubseGH2U
|
axgeu1
|
{
"description": "being upset that my parents (I'm 14) very nearly bricked my expensive ps4",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being upset that my parents (I’m 14) very nearly bricked my expensive PS4
|
My dad has a habit of unplugging my electronics when he takes them. Without turning them off.
Because of this, I had to boot my PS4 into recovery mode due to spammed “DATABASE IS CORRUPTED” message.
My mom seems to act like it’s my fault.
AITA for being upset my dad nearly bricked an expensive console?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
jBNg3uP2Avcq3xjtgGcBTMLIlW3TKPmN
|
b1yvq5
|
{
"description": "going off on a manager who isn't doing his job",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for going off on a manager who isn’t doing his job?
|
I work in a restaurant, on Sunday’s I have a closing shift with another manger, we’ll call him B. So normally when I close I clean back of house, which means I do the dishes the trash and deck scrub the floor before putting the morning dishes back where they go.
Last Sunday B told me to clean the dining room instead so G could do back of house. I agreed and around 9 I started cleaning and by 10 I had all my duties done. Tables, chairs, trash cans, bathrooms and swept and mopped.
I go help B and T who are cleaning the kitchen and just help out by cleaning the walls and the hood so we can leave on time.
Now the whole time I was cleaning B is doing the milkshake machine (should only take like 30 minutes tops) and t is cleaning the grill (15 minutes) and I’ve managed to sweep mop and clean the rest of the kitchen.
I go to the back once I’ve done that and b comes to the back and sees me and with his phone in hand tells me to take out the trash for G. I look at him and tell him no because if I do back of house no one takes the trash out for me. He then tells me to scrub he floors in the back.
At this point I start getting an attitude and give him another look. He still has his phone in his hand and is sitting in the back office. I tell him “no, when I do back of house no one does that for me” he looks up from his phone and tells me he does all the time, now gaining looks from G and T.
A few minutes later he goes “okay let’s put the dishes away.” And stands there while I put them back and start getting very agitated. I tell him yet again that when I do the back no one but me puts the dishes away to which he says he does all the time.
But here’s the thing, he doesn’t. So I grab my stuff and clock out.
Am I the ass-hole for giving him an attitude while he sits back and kicks it?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
cQfxKYyGwZ00Nvc3hMToZ9jHatdzT5wD
|
b7evga
|
{
"description": "being peeved that my friend is so close to someone who hates me for no reason",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being peeved that my friend is so close to someone who hates me for no reason?
|
so a friend group that i was a part of a while ago had a big falling out...kind of. see i thought it was a falling out but in reality i guess one of the other girls in the group woke up one day and decided she didn’t like me anymore. this is a person who up until near the end of my being friends with her i thought we had made some sort of connection as people, but her actions made indirectly (never even to my face except a few subtle passive aggressive comments that i wrote off as friends teasing each other) and behind my back showed something else. she even tried ‘warning’ my best friend of years that she didn’t think i was good for....wait for it. her aura. regardless of any metaphysical new wave sort of beliefs you have, i’m pretty sure this is kind of a ridiculous thing to say and be serious about.
anyway i don’t have any connection to that girl anymore, we never talked about anything that happened and i don’t really plan to because i don’t want anything to do with all that drama. anyways the reason im making this post is coming. i apologize for longer exposition but it was necessary for understanding i think. my best friend told her that she didn’t appreciate her talking shit about me to her after it happened a few more times and she apologized because i guess she thought after her big revelation about my alleged soul tarnishing abilities, that she wasn’t friends with me anymore. but even after all that my friend still hangs out with this girl all the time, sometimes with the whole group i used to be a part of which used to upset me but now it’s really just the fact that she has no issues with the one girl.
am i the asshole for being upset about this? it’s not like i want to control who she associates with or anything i just don’t feel as comfortable being close with my own friend who’s rlly gone thru it with me knowing that she willingly spends so much time with someone she knows i have these weird issues with.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
GULrGgGNuqIhevCrk3QKAwE3aC0wLPHG
|
b4rsv0
|
{
"description": "getting mad and wanting to move out because my brothers drink and party so much",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad and wanting to move out because my brothers drink and party so much?
|
sorry for formatting and all that, mobile user here.
alt account as all my brothers use reddit and frequent this sub.
I have a big family and I have 2 older brothers that like to drink and get "Lit" at our family house.
Every weekend they're partying, and during the summer it was almost every day while they were going to school. My bedroom is right next to our living room, and they are so loud every night they come drink that I don't even try to sleep until everyone either passes out on the couch/floor or leaves.
This is the most frustrating thing ever as I feel I should be able to feel comfortable in my own home, I have talked to my brothers about this before and they know that i won't even try to sleep until everyone else is sleep. But they figure I should just deal with it. It's gotten to a point where I don't want to live with my family anymore, I love my mom and little brothers and sisters and love talking with them and living with them, but some nights my older brothers get so drunk that my life is almost revolving around them and I hate it.
Maybe I'm too entitled though and just think I deserve too much.
What do you think reddit?
Am I the asshole here for being to entitled to a good nights sleep?
Thanks for the honest opinions.
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"description": "going off at my depressed friend / ex",
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|
AITA for going off at my depressed friend / ex?
|
I had this friend. We had been friends for a year or two, had hung out a fair bit and knew each other through mutual friends before we became friends. This was great with a solid two years of just being friends, except around the end of 2017. I ended up having some feelings for her. Spend a solid 2 months thinking that it was incredibly stupid idea to try anything and that it was just a fleeting feeling, I hadn't seen us as anything but platonic before that.
Eventually it dragged on long enough that I talked to her about it, surprisingly enough it didn't immediately ruin things, we chatted about it some and she felt something too. We were both fairly apprehensive about it so took things slowly thinking it over but ultimately we ended up deciding we were a thing. Which was great, except, about two months into us dating she got depressed. After chatting about it some she started seeing a psych and things were pretty hunky dory still. The depression wasn't a huge hurdle, sometimes she got in pretty low but I tried to be as supportive as possible and help cheer her up. Ultimately it wasn't a huge issue like I said, and the whole thing was a rather normal relationship.
This was until she got worse with the depression, felt numb all of the time and rarely was her more 'up' self. I tried to be supportive where I could, just by chatting and hanging out which she said helped. That said, the whole thing stopped being fun at all for me. Not that I saw having fun as contingent on being in a relationship, I still cared about them a lot and tried to help where I could, but it became really exhausting to deal with and I started to really not like hanging out at all because the whole experience was really confronting. I'd not know if I was going to have a fun time just chatting or hanging out, or if we would sit in silence for a few hours, or if she'd be in some weird passive aggressive mood. The whole not knowing what was going to be the case was a pretty dread inducing feeling, but, I did't want to let on that it was having any impact on me and just pushed those feelings to one side to act as a rock I guess.
The up/downs and not knowing what was going to happen was prevalent up until the end of last year, when she had become super distant. We didn't really hang out, we didn't really text, any attempt by me to strike up a conversation was completely unreciprocated and the whole thing left me feeling pretty shit. I let it go on for about month where we were super distant before we ended things. We broke up on decentish terms I guess, we decided to try and be friends. However, she just grew much more distant but at the same time started feeling better. Over december what little we talked she seemed to be back to her usual self, but just had basically no time for me. We didn't hang out in person at all, sometimes we'd call, but she'd just play her music out loud and not really try to engage in the conversation. It really shitted me when she'd pause the music for her to say something but leave it going when I was talking.
Eventually I tried talking about it, but I found it really hard to keep my cool for some reason. She didn't like that I was having a problem with her feeling better, but I wasn't, it was more she had just totally disregarded me after I had been there for her so much. I don't think I did a really good job of explaining my feelings, but at the same time she didn't do a very good job of trying to listen, and that just made me more annoyed after all the time I had spent trying to listen and be supportive to her over the year. We had a bit of a fight and then didn't speak for a week or two except really brief texts.
Then I tried to bring up the issue again, we had a massive fight were I just completely lost my cool. I called her selfish, told her about how shit dating her and being her friend whilst she was depressed was, and tried to call her out for having no patience with me when I had nothing but patience with her. This was a really long and protracted text fight, half way through she started screenshotting it all and sending to to a friend because I was "being really immature" and a brat. The whole thing ended with me getting the angriest I had been ever I think and just blocking her. This was about two months ago and we haven't spoken since.
Am I the asshole in this? I don't mean it as she is somehow obligated to do the exact same for me that I did for her, but at the same time it felt so shit to be so close to someone and tried to support them the best I could during a bad period for them, only to be basically thrown to one side. At the same time, she was depressed and I really can't blame her, and don't blame her for how she acted whilst she was depressed, just how she acted after she was seeming much more up? I get she would have still been depressed but I don't get how she didn't seem to care at all about me and how one sided things seemed to be.
Thanks for reading this far if you did, it's a throwaway but I'll answer any questions y'all may have a lot happened and I'm not sure I know how to make sense of it. I just want a feeling as to if I'm the asshole for being mad at her about all this when I don't think I can blame someone for being depressed.
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"description": "not knowing how to react anymore. my sister and I both think we are total assholes. I'll do something mildly rude and she completely overreacts in my view. she says I'm not mildly rude, I'm the biggest asshole on the planet and deserve no happyness",
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AITA: I don't know how to react anymore. My sister and I both think we are total assholes. I'll do something mildly rude and she completely overreacts in my view. She says I'm not mildly rude, I'm the biggest asshole on the planet and deserve no happyness.
|
I'll give you some examples.
Just now, christmas, skyfall on the tv, we do small talk. I say something along the lines of "yeah next one will be his last film", she says something like "really? skyfall is the most recent one right?". I, in a joking tone say "Um, that movie is 6 years old". Ok I get it, it's not super nice but it was in a conversational tone, half joking, it was not meant to offend. Also we watched skyfall together in the theatre in 2012 and talked about spectre often enough so it's not like I was intentionally mocking her lack of knowledge. I was jokingly referring to the fact that she probably knows it but confused it with something or was just not concentrating. Like that whole conversation was completely meaningless out of boredom. I didn't mean anything by saying that.
Anyway her reaction: She immediatle changes her whole expression I can see her lips pressing on each other. She says "\[my name\]...Can you just ONCE not be an asshole? Why are you this way?". I get annoyed and obviously get in a bad mood as well and have this "not again" expression. She goes out of the room and turns of the tv as a last "fuck you" before she goes out. I say "Thanks, didn't wann watch it anyway". She says something like "One more word and I..." then she goes out... She comes back a couple minutes later, just grabs my phone out of my hand without saying a word and looks up what the last bond film was. I just let it happen I know if I say one thing now the whole week is basically ruined in my family. After she found it out I say "Can I have it back now?" She says "Alright" in an annoyed tone and just throws it at me.
Another time my sis and my parents came back from Ikea. They bought her a new chair for her apartment and a new shelve for our living room at home. So basically I say something like "Do I get one too?". (my chair is literaly broken I just didn't know they were buying one) my dad says something like "Yeah we can go next week again if you want". Then my mom jokingly says "Can you even put that together on your own?" my dad: "Well \[my sister\] and \[me\] can build that together". My sister somehow thinking he was talking about the shelve: "Ok fine, in an hour?" Me: Oh that shelve? Nah. (It wasn't expected of me to help with that and I had other things to do). So my sister immediately interprets that as something I don't even know. She has the same sudden change of mood and starts yelling at me for "always being such an asshole to others" and how I will never find success in life with my attitude. I take that personal and say "Well what are you gonna do" she then takes of her shoes, throws them at me, starts crying, runs out and slams the door. Doesn't talk to me next 3 days.
Additional info: We are both mid twenties (I'm 24, she's 26) and these things happen always when we're both at home. Basically whenever we see each other. Something always happens that ruins the whole time we are together. We both say that this only happens when we are with each other we have no problems with others. I know that's true for my part.
I posted about that same thing here some weeks ago and pretty much everyone agree that I'm the asshole. I fought that verdict then but I'm ready to accept it this time if that's what the community says. In this case I would probably avoid her in the future at all costs because I can't change who I am. maybe that's better for both of us. I don't want my whole day ruined just because these minor things.
TL;DR: My sister says I'm an asshole. I say she's overreacting.
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anaadz
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{
"description": "asking my parents to watch the Office with me after they kept bugging me about them wanting to watch it",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
AITA for asking my parents to watch The Office with me after they kept bugging me about them wanting to watch it?
|
Okay so I started watching The Office on Netflix over the summer. I then rewatched the whole show about 2 more times. Sometimes my mom comes up to me and asks, “What are you watching?” So i tell her and stuff. Then she says, “Why don’t we all watch it together as a family?” I was a bit reluctant (because there are some non-parent friendly times in the show) so she backed off a little. But I eventually caved, and we agreed that we would start watching it next weekend.
Next weekend came and went, and we totally forgot. Now I was kinda getting antsy because I wanted to start watching the show again, but we kept forgetting. So I started watching Parks and Rec to bide my time. And sometimes when I was watching it they would annoyingly say, “You’re not watching The Office are you,” because I guess they thought I was watching it behind their backs. Eventually we started watching it, and oh boy.
They only wanted to watch about 2 episodes **a night**. Which got annoying fast because if we wanted to complete the series before 2020 then we should probably shoot for as many as possible. Occasionally we would get into arguments because they would not want to watch it. But then I was angry because I wanted to watch it, and also confused because they kept bugging me to watch it before we started. I know that some days people just don’t feel like watching a tv show, but it seems like if I didn’t insist on watching it at least once then they wouldn’t watch it.
My dad also got into the habit of using the excuse of, “I’ve already seen this before so it’s boring.” (Keep in mind I’ve already watched the full series 3 other times and it’s still great imo) So I ask him how far he watched. And **every** single time I ask he always says the same thing, “I don’t know it’s been so long.” But to add to that he sometimes gets on my me and my moms nerves whenever we are watching another TV show by calling out what’s going to happen. Stuff like, “I knew that was going to happen” or “He’s gonna die” and it annoys the crap out of me. **But** when he tries to call out what happens during The Office, he is wrong 8/10 times. So I guess if he’s seen the show before and remembered what happened, then he’d probably be right more than he is.
Also, sometimes my mom is like, “Only one episode tonight because I’m watching **my** show.” Which I get that she needs time for her shows, but when it’s 7:30 and you’ve got like 30 mins left of your show, then we’ve got plenty of time (they usually go to bed at around 9:30-10:00).
I also don’t get how they are getting so mad at me for wanting to watch a show with them that I like. I always ask if they don’t like the show, but they always say that they do like the show. Sometimes when I ask them they always try to stall by us only watching it after I’ve showered. And I usually hop in the shower at about 7:00 or 7:30. But I ask if they want to watch it at like 6:00. And they always ask, “Have you showered yet,” like I have like over an hour of free time until I shower why can’t we watch it now? Sometimes I use the analogy “8+3=11 and 3+8=11.” (Which kinda says that the order which I shower and watch The Office doesn’t matter because it will take up the same amount of time) kinda slimy, but I don’t use it anymore.
Tldr: Parents kept bugging me into watching The Office with them. Now that we’ve started watching it they barely want to watch it anymore, but still insist they like the show. And they also get mad when I ask to watch the show more than once or twice a night.
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b2lnbo
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{
"description": "being resentful towards my foreign coworkers",
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|
AITA for being resentful towards my foreign coworkers
|
I know this sounds bad judging the title but trust me its nothing racist of the sort. Ive put in two years hard work at a chinese takeaway and have not one been allowed to have a holiday longer than 3 days this whole time.
About 6 months ago my boss hired two new romanian workers . They worked for 2 months and due to the lady being ill they went back for two months . They came back two months back and are planning to go back to romania in june and september for all of both months. Both bosses have no issues with that.
Also my female boss went back to china last month for a month and right now the male boss is away to china until begging of april. The female boss is again planning to take her kids on another holiday to china in july.
Now to me and my boyfriend (we work together and live together). We have my moms wedding 9th-10th of august and my best friends wedding 24th of august. I asked for these off and jesus. All hell broke lose. Female boss kicked off big time and said it means shell struggle to run the shop. It was all resolved but she still brings it up. Recently she tried saying i cant attend an event my group at uni have organised and are running. To even pass my course attending the event is mandatory so i of course put my foot down. Until today. Little backstory my family live down in London with exception to my mom and my great-grandad has alzehimers and dementia so doesnt understand when i (gladly his golden grandchild) cant attend family events (i am really struggling with money atm and quitting without having a backup lined up is to risky ). I asked for time off in May for a week to go and see my family. I havent been to london since i started work there and have only seen them at events held for my mum or me up north. She seemed fine with that as my bf would be staying up here as most catteries up here are fully booked in may so our kitties would need him to stay. Until. I said me and bf would be off for 4 days in june or july(travelling on a monday morning and coming back friday lunch. Shop opens at 5pm) . Hell opened and satan himself arose. "No you cant. How do you expect me to find cover for you. Im back in july to china. Blah blah blah". Long story short everyone but me and my partner are allowed to have month holidays off but for me and bf to attend a wedding for the woman who literally sacrificed her vagina to birth me and a girl whos been there for me for 3-4 years now is a big ass deal. Am i the asshole? I understand they have moved here from romania and china respectively to get a better life but surely the rules should apply to all of us .
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WRONG
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a48n1q
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{
"description": "being pissed at a friend who scared me while high",
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|
AITA for being pissed at a friend who scared me while high
|
Some background info- I’m a teenager and I’m with my two boys having a “blast” smoking weed
We’re smoking some weed and one of my friends is also vaping this like synthetic CBD stuff. I tell how bad this stuff is prob for you and stuff like that all the time and that’s why I never do it.
Now my friend hit this stuff a lot and then after a while he pretends to have a literal seizure on the bed. I’m sitting here freaking the hell out cuz:
1. One of my best friends is having a seizure and I’m thinking he’s a bout to die
2. I’m also thinking my parents are gonna prob gonna disown me and that this will be on my record so I’ll never be able to get a job (I know i was prob a lil dramatic)
And I’m freaking out this whole thinking I’m seeing my normal life crashing before me ,But then all of a sudden after 3-4 minutes of him there seizing the whole time. He just springs off the bed all better now. And I just collapse into a mental breakdown crying and everything cuz I thought my life was gonna be over.
So after all this and I calmed down after breaking down for 5 mins I’m just super pissed of at him.
So AMITA for being pissed off?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b9ycsb
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{
"description": "not acknowledging people",
"pronormative_score": 4,
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|
AITA for not acknowledging people?
|
I'm a junior in high school. For some background, some kids at my school are very... boisterous, to say the least. They have very negative attitudes, too; if they meet up with each other in the hall or the lunch line, they will essentially trash-talk each other in a relatively loud manner (It's definitely in good fun, but it still comes off as obnoxious imo). Overall I'm just uncomfortable around them. I think they're too much of a bad influence and I'd rather just not interact with them at all.
...which I usually do by literally not looking at them in the first place when I'm walking. When I walk to class, I just keep my eyes straight. If I see one of these particular classmates in the corner of my eye, I'll probably just glance at them and then look forward again, still walking. Sometimes they will say hi to me, but I don't respond. I just don't want to encourage their behavior and let them direct it towards me.
Now we're not complete strangers; I've probably had one or two conversations with them. The thing is, they acted all nice when they talked to me, but they went to their friends right after and went back to that same negative behavior. I feel like they were just being fake with me.
I've noticed for the past few weeks that I've been acting like this a lot. Am I being mean? Am I obligated to acknowledge them in the hallway, to give that social grace even if I barely know them? I need second opinions.
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RIGHT
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70JPvUXmtHbb5hZEacwgtPsRVWaqonE4
|
ansnee
|
{
"description": "getting my friend arrested",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For getting my friend arrested
|
This is basically a repost but I added info in places and found it was more appropiate to post this here instead of r/tifu
​
So it was a normal night as usual except I have have a pretty bad cold and cannot smell or breathe out my nose, my friends come and pick me up from my house. I was waiting for awhile but didn’t mind anything of it. I get the text my friend is outside and It’s my two friends , Friend A the driver, and friend B the driver. I get into the car and they immediately tell me they are going to the store to buy JUUL pods before we get to my friends house. All is going average get the pods and on our way to my friend’s house we get pulled over for Friend A not using turn signals. Me being the dashing intellectual I am begin recording from the back seat joking like haha my friend is gonna get a random ticket haha . Cop sees me recording and points it out and it wasn’t the nicest exchange but I didn’t think anything of it, keep in mind I was sick They say the car smells like weed they have to search the car. I laugh knowing we don’t have weed that I know of so i got nothing to hide. So apparently right before I got picked up they went to go buy an 8th of weed. I was shook on the spot. I would have never recorded or been an asshat to the cops if I knew there was weed on the vehicle.
​
Friend A gets arrested as it’s in his pocket and now he is facing a 300-500 dollar charge. Cops told him that if i hadn’t recorded it they wouldn’t have searched the car and i feel like a complete loser. I feel so bad i just want to make it up to the kid but I feel he hates me no. I would have never recorded the incident in the first place if i knew there was weed in the car but I am at fault. I’m not sure what my friends think as a whole i just hope we are still friends and my boy gets through this. They also ended up not even giving him the driving violation.
Also its been 4 days since the incident and we havent talked since
TLDR: My friend gets searched because i recorded a police officer and i had no idea there was weed in the car or i wouldn’t have done it. He faces a big fine and friendship could change.
​
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RIGHT
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xcyoWa2lZ7cNQYiH9d4Wi3rjmkvXbqNm
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avnzqx
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{
"description": "expecting my mom to be a parent",
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|
AITA for expecting my mom to be a parent?
|
Things my mother has said to me today ; you can’t have expectations from me ........ me; ???? You’re my mother that’s not how this works .. can someone please explain this to me am I the asshole for expecting my mom to stop being lazy and get a job , I pay for her internet ,cell phone and utilities .
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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|
ah17iz
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{
"description": "keeping the step stool out in the kitchen",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for keeping the step stool out in the kitchen?
|
I live in a small-ish apartment with all vertical storage,
and I’m shorter than my 3 other roommates by at least 6 inches. There’s a little step stool that we use to access the cabinets - the 3 others tend to only need it for the top shelf (big pots and other infrequently used stuff), but I need it for everything but the bottom shelf, including the food in my pantry.
So the relatively small AITA - AITA for keeping the step stool out? When I’m not using it I tuck it around the corner. This way I can push it in and retrieve it with my foot, and don’t have to clean my hands 100 times while cooking. Other roommates fold it up and keep it in the closet, which I would agree with if I didn’t have to use it multiple times a day, every day. It’s pretty low profile, less than 12 in, and out of sight when behind the counter. On the other hand, in their defense, it isn’t cute (crappy college step stool that has just moved with me throughout the years), I understand wanting to put it away.
This isn’t causing any real drama, and I know it’s pretty petty (we have a great relationship and this is not the hill any of us are dying on) - just wanted to turn it to the hive mind for judgement. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aqtm4i
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{
"description": "messing around at work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for messing around at work?
|
Tonight I was working the late shift at Starbucks, and was told to work at the register for my shift. I was also given a list of things to get done while there were no customers wanting to order. With tonight being valentine's day, we were very slow, so I burned through the list fairly quickly. Now, the way things work at Sbux, there is only one assistant manager "in charge" at any given time, no matter how many are working. Tonight, I happened to be working with 4 other managers. I asked the one in charge (who I'll call C) what they wanted me to do once I finished the list, and they thought about it for a second, and then told me to just watch the register. As I walked back over there, she also told me specifically to not help with anything else except maybe making drinks if we got slammed. With how slow we were, this got boring pretty quickly, so I started absentmindedly doodling on a whiteboard we have nearby to leave notes on (making sure to ring any customers who came up immediately). C walked by about 10 minutes later, and I asked her "Are you sure you don't need me to do anything, I'm honestly bored just standing around here." She looked around and said, that everything looked perfect, and just to keep watching the register. Sometimes I like to leave stupid jokes on the whiteboard for the openers, so this time I figured since I had nothing better to do, I might as well do something more extravagant. I started drawing a fairly detailed picture of a giant monster, and wrote underneath "Merry phblthpka, praise be to " and then a bunch of nonsense characters I made up on the spot. At one point another assistant manager (who I'll call B), who has been known to have anger issues in the past, tells me to wipe up the counter behind me because it looks terrible (even though the C said it was perfect). I spent another 15-20 minutes cleaning everything in depth again, then went back to the drawing. After B was leaving for the night, he caught a glimpse of my drawing, and flipped out. He told me that this was my last chance here, and if he ever saw me writing on that whiteboard again, he was going to write a note to our district manager (not the first time he's threatened me with that). He demanded that I drop everything immediately and erase it, and again told me that I was on thin ice. He goes on these rants so often it's a running joke at this point. I figured I was due for another one soon, so I wasn't worried until I joked about it with C, and she took his side, and so did the other employees there tonight. I asked her if she had a problem with me doing that, and she got quiet and didn't really answer. This was also weird because she has no problem calling me out when she thinks I'm not working hard enough. I could see an issue with someone getting offended maybe, but the picture was totally out of view of the customers, and I know everyone I work with well enough to say I would be genuinely surprised if they were. So am I the asshole here, and if so, why?
TL;DR: I was told that I had nothing to do at work except ring people up. Noone is here so i draw a picture on a nearby whiteboard (still ringing people up, no customer complaints) and other employees get angry.
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
sjZ67CP6r4ljATLC8OtiiAzQaPzCLwdc
|
9zgikj
|
{
"description": "not paying a guy who partially fixed my car",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not paying a guy who partially fixed my car?
|
Okay, so this happened yesterday. I went to grocery store to pick up some items to help my parents cook for Thanksgiving.
As I was getting in my car there was a guy in a truck who called me out and asked if he could a dent in my car. He stated: “hey man! I can fix that dent! I will give you a free estimate and then I can fix it for you!”
So I obliged and he grabbed some tools out of the back of his truck. He told me to put my foot on my break, so I got back in my car and put my foot on the break. He then started to bang the dent out.
I immediately stopped and got out of the car and told him: “ Wait! We didn’t discuss a price for the work.”
He said:” it’s okay, it’s just $99”
I then stated:” I can’t pay that much money”
Now to give some context here. My car has a dent on the right side near the back of the car near the bumper. As well as the bumper is slightly popped out.
He said: “it’s okay I can do $60”
I then stated again that I can’t pay that. At this point he has ONLY fixed the dent and not the bumper.
I told him:”I can’t pay you that, that’s too much. I don’t even have cash on me”
To which he stated: “there’s a ATM at the bank over there.” The ATM was across the parking lot about half a mile away.
I told him: “look I don’t have time for this, my family is waiting for me, I have to go”
He then got angry at this point and said: “So I fixed your dent for free?”
Too which I stated: “look we never agreed on a payment before you started working on it”
We just went back and forth on that fact, him stating that he did the work and me stating that we didn’t agree on a payment before hand.
He did lower the price to $20 but I told him I have to leave.
At which point I got in my car and left.
AITA for not paying him? I would have to go to the ATM which I didn’t have time for as well as we didn’t agree on any payment before he did the work.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
uMOkAaW0JFLmvU9hkt4M165amGRQIoXg
|
9u8bqs
|
{
"description": "not designing my groups poster the way my groupmates wanted me to",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not designing my groups poster the way my groupmates wanted me to?
|
My group was assigned a project of making a poster for an engineering class, and I offered to my group to design the poster so that they could just add in the text and we would be finished. There only thing was that this project was assigned on a Thursday and I told them ahead of time that I wouldn't be able to work on it at all the entire weekend, so I was going to finish it by Friday. They all agreed and thanked me for it because I was the only person in my group that knew how to use Photoshop well. The same day that the project was assigned, my groupmates got together and did all of the research before I even got to contribute. Cool I guess, now all I need to do is design the poster! The only thing I didn't know was that my groupmates already had an idea in their head of what the poster should look like.
I spent a good 4 hours that night creating a poster for my group that I figured would suffice, but once I showed my group, they said that it wasn't what they were thinking, and asked me to change a few things. I was a little annoyed at that point but it wasn't that big of a deal, so I changed the few things that they wanted the next day and showed them what I had changed. I got a message back a few hours later that they had gotten together and changed a few things about their poster concept and asked me to change some more, and even asked me to replace a part of what I had made with someone else's, that didn't even fit the rest of the design.
At this point it was already Friday night and I didn't have much more time left, so on Saturday I just added all of the information and graphs to my original design and sent it to them saying that it was going to need to do because I didn't have any more time to work on this. They decided to message me back saying that they were just going to do it by hand and that it wasn't a big deal, and I'm still pissed off that I wasted a good 5 hours working on something that my group isn't even going to use. I attached a picture of what I made so that at least someone could see it. It's definitely not my best work and was really rushed, but I still think it would have gotten us a good grade. [Here's the poster](https://i.imgur.com/jExFsZS.jpg)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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pMnBfA9YYNAyGlXRoHc2pXKHsTlTtXnV
|
akua65
|
{
"description": "thinking this friend wronged me and ghosting her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for thinking this friend wronged me and ghosting her?
|
This is long.
Preface: Friend is a little dense. She casually insults people our friends group knows (e.g.: "Ah! We're only meeting at lunch because that friend of yours is a loser who doesn't have a car").
When I said that her boss was a bit of an asshole for paying the graphic designer 5€ per graphic and for not giving his employees a regular contract (not paying taxes and insurance), she got mad because it was someone she knew and also belittled my knowledge (I am a law student). I said I'd be more mindful in the future but we had to explain her that she'd done the same things with our friends, since she had never noticed. I started thinking her judgement then.
Anyways, me, her and her boyfriend (also my friend) had been planning to go to Japan for over a year. I was okay with doing most of the stuff she wanted, because she can be very insistent and does not concede much once she's decided to do something.
However, she's also someone that always chooses the most expensive option because she thinks it's best. Since I'm the one with more (family) money, she never took seriously my objections and was always quick to disregard my saving tips for the trip. This went as far as her being willing to pay double the price for plane tickets because she wanted to fly with our national airways (not the safest, and well known for its regular strikes).
In a moment of great mental instability due to personal reasons, I started having doubts (fueled by my unhappiness about the whole situation) and told her that i wasn't 100% sure anymore and needed to evaluate all the costs before booking. It was a two lines message and we didn't discuss it further.
The next week I saw on her IG story that she had purchased the tickets. I was confused, and told her "hey, I'm not too happy about this because I think you could have at least asked me to be sure I didn't want to go." She said she believed that i didn't want to go. I think it would have been normal to ask anyway, even if I had told her so (which i didn't. at all).
I forced myself to accept it, since I don't like arguing with her and, tbh, I thought it would fall to deaf ears.
So it was okay, until our common japanese penpal wrote me saying that my friend had told her I decided not to go because it was too expensive, and that she was very sad. I explained the situation.
The next time I met my friend I tried to make light of the thing me by trying to laugh off the fact that she told our penal the wrong reason, despite her knowing it wasn't because it was too expensive. She replied to me saying "But that's the reason!" even though I had explained it no less that two days prior. I felt extremely wronged and hurt.
I was unable to feel calm or happy in all of our following interactions and I have been avoiding seeing or interacting with her ever since. I am studying a lot lately so I'm using that as an excuse to basically ghost her. I reply if she writes me, and I reply in the group chats, but it doesn't happen often and I don't initiate contact anymore. She hasn't questioned it.
I know I should just get over it, and I'm trying, but I can't help but think that if she doesn't bother thinking about my reasons, then I don't see why I should bother about our interactions instead of thinking about myself first. I know this is not how you keep a friend and I think I might be the asshole, despite believing that I have been wronged.
TL;DR Friend booked the vacation we had been planning for a year without informing me because she thought I didn't wish to go anymore and imo does not make an effort to understand my reasons, so I ghosted her.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
eZuQUq89GYPmLFTB56Yo9riBPCneDEPM
|
b3nupp
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my so for changing jobs",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my SO for changing jobs?
|
SO some backstory:
My girlfriend and I worked together for around 2 and a half years. In this time we moved in together and had a child. Beforehand she had 3 children from a previous marriage. From day one I have accepted her children as my own. Now that we have 4, we had a carefully balanced schedule where one of us got off, then switched kids, then the other worked. We still managed to get one day off together. And let me add this: through promotion I became her manager. So to the story.
This past weekend, St. Patricks, is our busiest weekend of the year. We are a restaurant and bar. She and I have been fighting from Friday night until Sunday. Towards the end of the night she is getting miffed and tells me she quits. She has been unhappy there for a couple of months now. I really needed her to work through St Patricks, we were short staffed as it were. And then she pops this. She's done.
The next day I am going to make the schedule. I realize I have 2 other servers out, so I will be super short during the coming weekend. I talk to her about putting her on the schedule. "I told you, I don't want to go back to working there."
"Well what are you going to do for money?"
"I have another job." And bam, the next day, Tuesday, she starts working at an office job. I really don't think she planned it in advanced, the girl who got her the job worked the saturday and Sunday she was on.
But I feel upset because we had a tightly crafted schedule, juggling the kids and still managed a day off together. She didn't bring this up with me beforehand. I work 4p-3am Tuesday through Sunday. Now she is working 9a-5p and we will never see each other, and there is no way we will ever have Monday off together. I feel like she was completely inconsiderate of my feelings, she screwed me on my work schedule, she didn't give me a real notice and completely shifted how our life is going to without considering me. I told her she can deal with getting the kids and deal with watching them, since she just changed my life with no input, made my job more difficult and alienated me.
She countered that I am "being controlling and treating her like a child." But I don't think it is wrong for me to feel hurt. It is very hard for her and I to cooperate on things. We both come off as critical. I am upset. Am I the asshole? I don't mind her changing jobs, but don't drop it on me overnight and screw me at the place I am responsible for staffing because in the end, it doesn't hurt the bar it hurts me. And I feel left out of the loop.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
l7ldcxjGlh9KTitKawgfXvFw68Kx5g5K
|
a9q3l9
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed of having to take care of my grandma who has dementia",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed of having to take care of my grandma who has dementia
|
My grandmother is 74 years old and has early stage dementia. My mother is 50 and she is constantly needing me to take my grandmother to her appointments. My mother works M-F from 3-4 so she can’t really take her to her appointments as most doctors offices are closed by the time she gets out. I have not complained yet but it’s starting to get to me. My days off usually consist of one appointment. I have to go to work late because when my mother goes to work she wants me to stop by the house and check on my grandmother if she needs anything. I’ve had to leave work many times to take her to the ER, I’ve had to bathe her and change her when she broke her clavicle. The most annoying part is sometimes I will go to work early and my mother will call me extremely upset asking why I didn’t stop to check on my grandmother, I believe there has never not once been a thank you. I love them both, I know this is hard for my mother and I also am and only child so I want to help her as much as I can. I really don’t want to be the asshole but I think maybe I am.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
asrKUXSz65Uw3tKZOzlNEbdWyWdNxQHA
|
addw6z
|
{
"description": "waking my dad up when he was snoring",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for waking my dad up when he was snoring?
|
Throwaway because I know I'm the arsehole. Please don't hold back with your confirmation.
I was prototyping my brother's project. My lungs are probably filled with pounds of lead. Anyway, I'm soldering in my room. I need maximum concentration. My dad just starts sleeping. I don't mind it--until he starts snoring. It is incredibly distracting. My dad is also a crappy person, btw; just thought I'd note that. Anyway, the first time, he freaks out and was like "I'm not even snoring that much. If you wake me up again I'll tickle you." Second time, he freaks out even more (angrily, btw; his freakouts are always aggressive and angry), and was like "I don't think I'll be able to sleep." I said, "Why can't you just turn over? If I have to wake you up again, it will be with the soldering iron." He says "You say something ridiculous as that" and I say "Oh, you think I'm joking." I don't think I was actually gonna do it, but man, I would not mind having done it. Anyway, AITA for waking him up that way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
GPze4EDYa9MxdG2Atapl42ne4Hqh90jN
|
arj9z4
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my girlfriend for not being able to make and take phone calls",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my girlfriend for not being able to make and take phone calls
|
So, I'll give her side and my side, for clarification on why I'm posting this
Her side;
My beautiful girlfriend has mental health issues, one of which, I believe to be 'phone phobia' which is in my opinion a part of her OCD. This causes her to the inability to answer phone calls and make phone calls saying that this causes her anxiety. She believes that I do not understand the extent of anxiety this causes her.
The most recent event tonight was that our family car got hail damage and it's nearly at the cut off point to make a claim, which requires one of us to make a phone call to our insurance company, however, due to me working long hours and times where the insurance companies phone lines are closed, I cannot easily make this call without it getting in the way of my work life, however, she argues that I can make this call without it effecting my work life, because I finish early on Fridays sometimes. I asked her to make this call for me and obviously it was a problem, and I got mad at her and told her that this is an issue that she needs to bring up with her psychologist as in my opinion it is a priority for various reasons which the most important ones, I will state in 'my side'.
My side;
I will start by saying that I am autistic. I see things in the way my Mother describes as 'black and white', and because of how I view life and problems and the solutions to these problems, I am often told I'm emotionless or heartless.
Now that this is out of the way,
I believe that this mental health issue she has when it comes to the phone should be considering a high priority on things she needs to work on with her psychologist, as we have two children and I fear that if something were to happen to our kids while I wasn't there - she wouldn't be able to make a phone call such as a phone call to an ambulance or the hospital. She believes that the only reason I want her to address it is because it bothers me, and I don't believe she sees the deeper reason it bothers me as much as it does. I have also recently don't some research on phone phobia and believe the start of the solution to this problem is facing the fear of it, however, I am not a psychologist and don't know how bad it actually can be.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
T8fujxqLr1osrJZXI7ewOieWkNEIDgwZ
|
ahxjji
|
{
"description": "telling a Girls Ex her baggage",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For Telling a Girls Ex Her Baggage
|
As the title explains I told my best friend's ex she was toxic .
So me and this girl have been friends for like 7 years. And she's been a toxic manipulative person for the last 3 years I have dealt with it for that long. And why is she toxic lemme tell you. She Is a complete dick to me when talking to her friends, she bad-mouths me to her friends and family, she gets on my back about eating my own food by telling me "I need to learn how to ration my food" which wouldn't be that bad if she wasn't eating my food and living in my mom's house, and she keeps talking about things I do bad weeks after it happens. So lemme get back into the story.
She was being a complete dick to me by yelling at me for eating my food . And I left to go to my room. I was kinda mad so I acted out of anger by texting her ex who she still loved what she has done to me. And guess what her ex told me that she had told her and her friends that I'm a dick to her and that I'm toxic af.
The reason she stated:
1: I Snore keeping her up at night
2:I Eat her food
3:I am "racist" towards her
So I can't speak on her side but here's what I realized I do sometimes
1:I Do Snore but I can't help it
2:I ate your food 1-3 times plus you're living off my dad's food
3:yes I do make racist jokes but you have to say when they make you uncomfortable I understand it's not ok to make racist jokes but she calls me a beaner!
Later that month She figured out that I told her ex about her toxicity. And she called me a "Fucking dick" and "toxic friend". She started crying and telling me that I shouldn't have done that and she hasn't let me down about it. Now her friends hate me even more and I'm still stuck in a house with her
Let me know if there is
1: Spelling Mistakes
2: Grammar errors
3:Not enough info on her side
4:Not enough info on my side
5:too many lists
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
QU8q564esrwUotQQYTAZrMPb3lrw0rOC
|
b78jxz
|
{
"description": "standing up for myself",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for standing up for myself?
|
Me-me
B-dancer
F-friend
Okay let’s begin, I am a dancer and the person I was rude to is a big name dancer let call them B and there friend let call them F (I was not trying to be rude to B) so I was at a dance combination this summer, I didn’t even know B was there as I don’t care much for people who are “big/famous” anyways I learned that she was there the last day and I didn’t even realize but I was joking around with B and she was visibly laughing, later after our performance we were taking a huge group picture, I guess I was covering B which was not my goal, anyways F said, “could you move you covering B” I of course was not going to say no moved she then said in a rude tone belittling me “she’s kinda a big deal” (idk if I was just emotional as my life was getting back on track from extreme depression or what), normally I would not stick up for myself but I felt like I needed too, I turned around and I’m a tone that I thought to be nice said “we are all equal here” nobody seemed bugged by my tone so I turned around, then I must have broke the flood gates as she in a very snarky belittling tone said “well she is actually a big deal” I turned around to her and said in a very confident least rude possible way “we are all equal here, we are all going to die, end up in the ground, turned to dirt, and forgotten, and the sun will explode” I at that moment didn’t feel bad about it and they said nothing after and just am now thinking I could have come of as rude to B.
Just for more information I have sent a message to B through Instagram but as they are huge and probably receive thousands of dms a day they probably won’t see it but I did apologize in the dm but I sadly don’t know who F is.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
WRONG
|
AkHZYmrE2B9dmBCGZ4lRpA8YaJBWQPft
|
ad2xyz
|
{
"description": "not dating a girl",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITAH for not dating a girl?
|
Recently I went on a date with a girl who I work with (I know it's a bad idea I too live in the future where I made this decision) and it went well we had a fun time and I was looking forward to the next date. Later that week there was an emergency at the mall we both work at and I wasn't there but she was texting me how she was scared and didn't want to be there anymore but she didn't have a place to go. I offered to pick her up and let her stay at my place until she could go home (she lives across the border in Canada and needed a ride that I couldn't provide) and when we got to my apartment I immediately went to the kitchen and offered her some tea or water but she went right to my bedroom which I was uncomfortable with. I jokingly told her to not be in there and went to my living room and asked her if she wanted to watch something but she kept staying in my room and touching my stuff which again I wasn't comfortable with. I asked her to leave but she didnt. She jumped in my bed instead. I sat on the bed thinking she must be tired from her ordeal at work and so let her stay in my bed. Eventually she took her clothes off and we had sex and after she left to go back home. A few days went by and she asked if I wanted to date her and I said no I think we're better as friends because of different personal reasons such as different political views and interests in general. She thinks I just wanted to have sex with her and leave when I never really wanted to have sex with her in the first place. I understand I did sleep with her but I wasn't the one who pushed for it. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
CoMPQPZQQ4Bt443BnY5NlSYUT3JZlxvy
|
amv3bz
|
{
"description": "not listening to my parents advice on looking for work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not listening to my parents advice on looking for work?
|
So I am a 23 year old woman, who still lives at home for financial reasons. And the only source of income I got right now is SSI (Social supplemental income) because I have a mild mental disability. But the thing is this: I am more than capable of making my own decisions: monetary and life decisions. So from that fact, I have lived on my own before, but had to always move back because of, yet again, monetary reasons. Now back to the story:
I am finally getting out of my slight depression after my girlfriend dumped me (yes I am gay, no judgement), and after going to therapy a few times and taking my therapists advice on calming my anger down, I finally felt ready for looking for work. Today I found a job called Door Dash. Which is like GrubHub or Uber Eats that delivers food to people. I thought it was good for me because I can work as much or as little as I can. So I got all happy and expected the activation kit in a few days or less. So like all happy people, I had to share that happiness with someone, so I told my mother.
Instead of being or even sounding proud of me, her only disabled daughter possibly finding work, she looked at me and said, "I don't know if it is a legit job for you, you would have to go to your father on this one". So to ease their anxiety a little bit, I sent them the official website link. Still doesn't seem to help anything.
So I went to my father about the matter and he said along the lines of:
"Do you really think you would want to take a job that involves your two biggest weaknesses: driving and socializing with people? That is set up for failure for you, I would look for something else". I wanted to punch him in the face right then and there. My dad is known for pointing out and picking each and every tiny detail from any job that I seem to want. So I was just like, "You cannot pick and choose which job I can and cannot have". He just said sorry and went back to whatever he was doing at the time.
I am just sick of being held back at this level and not actually getting a chance to improve myself when it comes to social skills. WIBTA if I ignored their advice altogether?
A little FYI before I end this here: I DID have a fender bender with someone on ICY roads more than a year ago after my brakes failed on my old car. And because of autism, they DID expect me to learn a little slower on social skills than my neurotypical peers. But does it really give them the right to make themselves my "helicopter" guardians?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
0jI0jWlkL6wLpjpWCVqRKTqICf33YE5D
|
ansvdv
|
{
"description": "hating my job",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Hating My Job?
|
So, every morning it's the same routine. I wake up, make breakfast for my SO and I and get ready for work. On the way out I'll usually say something along the lines of "siiigh, whelp, off I go" or something like that. Obviously not thrilled to leave, but not seething either. To which my SO responds by shrugging his shoulders indifferently while reading the news.
In regards to my job, it could definitely be worse. But, it's a completely toxic environment and I'm just not a good fit. I plan on quitting soon and taking a break, then perhaps seeking employment later on in the year. My SO is recently retired for good and has no plans to seek future employment (which isn't a problem for me). We had planned for me to quit a couple months after his retirement so that he gets a bit of time alone to work things out by himself (also not a problem).
So, this morning, cue the typical routine and my SO says that me being sad when I leave for work is making it hard for him to enjoy his new time off. That I should be happy because I'm almost done with this job and I'll be on break soon. Which is true... but knowing how I will feel in 8+ weeks doesn't really help me feel any better about how I feel in the present.
Then he starts comparing things, saying he's had worse jobs and this and that. I get it, lots of people don't like their jobs. But, does that negate how I'm supposed to feel about my particular situation? It's not like I *want* to hate my job. So, what about it? Am I the Asshole, then?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
t3oOcxTWtZAXA6Nf4JoC1AKn1eer9ojX
|
agq63m
|
{
"description": "getting upset at a close friend forgetting my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting upset at a close friend forgetting my birthday?
|
We’ve been really good friends, thick and thin, ride or die. She forgot my birthday and I was pretty upset and disrespected quite honestly over it. Am I wrong to feel like this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
JhiugGpMFt1Wo8Y2N2TnPkV8GsiXmtSp
|
aftxjl
|
{
"description": "thinking ugly people should be nicer",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for thinking ugly people should be nicer
|
Maybe a little misleading on the title and hopefully this belongs here.
I'll try to give a condensed version as best I can.
I was just talking to someone through a dating site. Turns our we both know some of the same people. However, this person knew that another person was in the past interested in me and what happened there.
So I told them pretty much what happened, basically the guy was an asshole and then making too many demands of me when we weren't actually dating, just I knew he had interest in me and I hung out with him a few times to figure out if we cold be emotionally compatible. We were not; the dude kept telling me I was lying but it's okay because I was cute/adorable. Even got to the point where he'd join in with other people who were insulting me over...well, them being stupid and trying to take me out of context because I tended to make self deprecating jokes.
But how I ended the story was the last event where... I'm 5'10, the other guy is 5'2 and it's weird because for me, I want to be shorter and I like taller guys normally, but this short and heavily obese guy kept grabbing my head to drag me down to his height and trying to force kiss me while doing the baby voice of "I like you, why don't you like me" and then later tried to sexually assault me (multiple times) and when I left, he spun a story about how much he did for me while we were dating (never happened) and said something along the lines of "and he kept acting like I owed him something for nothing, which is kind of weird because with how unattractive and everything he is, the expectations he had on me were just ridiculous"
The guy said he didn't want to talk to me anymore because I was a shallow asshole for mentioning the other guy was ugly. To me, I think there's a point, you realize you're physically unattractive, you USUALLY don't get away with being an asshole. But... to make note of his behavior being tied also with his physical appearance... does that make me an asshole?
(I know the polling might say something like You're the asshole/they're the asshole. I'm guessing I'm just looking for if I'm an asshole or not. I know the guy who we both knew was trying to date me and then spread lies about me is an asshole. That part is not up for debate I don't think)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
qMjkFoLxL0zLleh7RD8FbZzaRNqvIhdj
|
a15dik
|
{
"description": "posaibly breaking up my EX and her fiance",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for posaibly breaking up my EX and her fiance?
|
3 year relationship ended amicably. I was moving for work, she didn't want to. Long distance didn't work.
I'm back home now and have been for a over year. She started seeing someone about a year ago. We're all local so running into each other is expected.
On Monday there was a business event for our local area. In reality these are just casual things since almost everyone knows each other. I was there, a couple of people I know and the fiance.
For whatever reason the conversation came to my EX and someone asked the fiance I'd it he felt it was weird that my EX and I were still friends (and sort of work together).
His response annoyed me. He basically said no, they weren't serious. They were never 'intimate'.
I said I didn't appreciate him discussing my past sexual history with my EX and that there certainly was a past sexual history. He was fast to dismiss this, because she told him otherwise.
I told him she has a lot of videos of us and I'm perfectly happy for her to show him. (Probably a bit spiteful but I was annoyed at this point)
Subject was changed and we went along with our day.
Turns out fiance is fairly religious and this caused a fight. My EX messaged me asking why I felt the need to get involved.
I feel all I did was respond to what I considered someone crossing a line. Maybe it's stupid and prideful but I didn't want people thinking I was with someone for so long and remained celebate.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 15,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 26
}
|
WRONG
|
fC0UvW2Fm0Nyg16dfzWtrDfuOoTTe2o1
|
b5je44
|
{
"description": "flexing that my friend was called ruled an asshole in our argument",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for flexing that my friend was called ruled an asshole in our argument?
|
This is fuckin asshole-ception but basically my friend got ruled an asshole on one of our arguments https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b4e1n6/aita_for_thinking_finders_keepers_applies_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app
Technically it was ESH but majority were calling him the asshole.
Basically I found this post and confronted him saying “I fucking told you”
Now he’s ghosting me :/ oh well
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
0SALCciF1BsrfK47FNLwfA7vWNBQhBIr
|
a8wfj8
|
{
"description": "sleeping with a woman I've been volunteering to help",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I sleep with a woman I've been volunteering to help?
|
So, this has been a difficult year for us, my children and I haven't been in the Christmas mood at all. I lost my job and its been hell. I needed something to fill up my time, since im on my Christmas break till the new year.
I was thinking some volunteer work would be a good way to pass the time. We did some work in a nursing home and a homeless shelter.
I also chose to visit shutins, and basically spend time with them. Keep them company . One of the people I visited was this 50 year old divorcee. She is a heavily depressed woman who hasn't left her house in over 20 years.
So I went to her house and she was just so happy to have company. Seriously, she just jumped and hugged me for almost 15 minutes as soon as I walked in the door. So we sat down and talked for almost an hour or so. She told me about her husband and everything and why she hasn't left the house. She said it was because she was ugly. She believes herself to be deformed and scarred. The charity organization warned me about that beforehand. But objectively, she isn't ugly at all. She's actually a really beautiful woman. I told her she was pretty and that made her cry with happiness.
Anyway, long story short, once my hour was up, I quietly dismissed myself and she started screaming and crying at me not to leave.
But I explained to her I had to pick my daughter up from school and could only stay for a couple extra minutes. When I did, her tone changed. She started holding onto my arm, rubbing my bicep, touching my chest, she even unbuttoned the top button of her top. I left because I was uncomfortable, she told me to come back any time.
So, this woman I volunteered to help is trying to seduce me. Ive considered going back. But I mean, She's obviously emotionally scarred. Would it be wrong for me to do so?
So would I be the asshole if I go back to this woman's house and attempt to make a move on her?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
Msc34GRlt5NoVcceZm66HJqDhqP5fTA1
|
9z7r42
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend the day before thanksgiving",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend the day before thanksgiving?
|
I’m asking for help because I’m obviously feeling bad.
Is there just an overarching premise to life that there’s never a good time to break up with someone?
Do you need details to answer this question?
What if it’s coming out of the blue? What if it’s not and you “break up” every other week? What if it’s for a good reason? What if there’s a straw that broke the camels back? What if now he doesn’t want to go to his family’s thanksgiving because there will be questions? What if he’s fine with it?
Can being an asshole be excusable or justified?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
6lGXJZf33eBH0XerGVLbrtOZeiruNRVg
|
b4zq0f
|
{
"description": "not using my b-day gift as intended",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not using my b-day gift as intended?
|
So this just happened. A little background info; I have fairly severe anxieties and weed helps me cope with that, so I have been smoking for years although weed is illegal in my country. My GF is completely okay with this - we cleared it up before committing to a relationship. We have now been together for over 2 years and we've lived together for over a year.
​
I recelty turned 26 and got a bag for toiletries from my GF's parents. They live far away so my GF bought it for me on their behalf. It was her idea to get it as she'd heard me complain that I didn't have one.
​
Today she asks me if I'd started using the bag (she knew that I had, it was on my table and it was clearly the reason she asked). I said that I have, but I'd used it for my weed+equipment when I go biking. She wasn't happy about that.
​
I want to use it for weed when I don't need it for toiletries and then for toiletries when I need it for that. She doesn't want me to do that because she says it will stink (it wouldn't because the actual weed is in a vacuum-sealed container. Anyways...It's a toiletries bag - is anyone gonna go sniff it?).
​
I believe that a gift is something you give hoping it’ll cause as much joy as possible. I also believe that the one who gives the gift has no right to decide how the gift is used. If you still claim the right to dictate how it's used, then you're still claiming ownership of the item - and “then you haven’t given a gift to someone else but to yourself”. My mom always preached this to me growing up, so this sits deeply within me.
​
From my point of view then my GF is trying to dictate how I use one of my personal belongings with arguments of how she spent so long finding a bag for TOILETRIES, and how the bag was FROM her parents for when we VISIT her parents.
​
I got pissed with the situation and said "Fine! I'll throw it back in here (closet) and only use it twice a year then". That's probably where I should've left it. But I couldn't help state that I thought it was silly as all hell, and then I - admittedly - threw a "hissy fit"-comment that "I'd remember that gifts given to me weren't actually given to me".
​
The discussion then shifted towards being about why I had to make such a big deal out of something so little and pathetic.
​
Thing is, I was really excited about how perfect it was for both purposes and I thought the bag looked cool as well - I was really happy about the gift and now I'm not. Now it's just sitting empty in the closet for me to use a few times a year instead of being something that I use all the time.
​
I feel as if I'm just being made out to be the dick for taking a stand about the use of my personal belonging, but it might’ve been unnecessary. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
5favz0fD0Kwx8ZqeaXtS2tklUFHGZqpr
|
aa40kp
|
{
"description": "ghosting a girl from work because of the interest of a friend who is also from work",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For ghosting a girl from work because of the interest of a friend who is also from work?
|
I had known that my friend was interested in this girl for a little while but he did not ask her out yet and we all were just friends. One shift she asked for my number and I did not really know how to say no, after that she texted me quite a bit and this is when my other friend started to become more interested in her and was planning to ask her out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
nlYD4DRc5ECceTLjDdJdTd1i1zkmFIWL
|
a6my5q
|
{
"description": "wanting even split if we won the lottery",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting even split if we won the lottery?
|
My wife (28F) and I (31M) were just talking about how nice it would be if we won $10M in lottery. Then naturally we progressed into what we’d do w it. Both of us are super family oriented, so we both agree that we’ll give a decent chunk to our family members. She has a brother. I am an only child. She said she’d give $1M to her parents, my parents, and her brother.
While I am on really good terms w the BIL, I feel like it’s a bit unfair that $2M is going to her family, while $1M is going to mine. She says “he will give us $1M if he won!”
Am i the asshole for thinking that whatever money we give away should be split evenly between families?
Side note: i didnt win any lottery, so i stopped talking about it because its not worth fighting. Just want to know if i am the asshole.
Side note 2: this isnt about whether giving money to family at all is a good idea.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
XD21gpBAcFKBugvVUdAXOl84YXaperkH
|
9xd8as
|
{
"description": "telling a childminder to do her job at a play centre",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling a childminder to do her job at a play centre.
|
Okay so I’ve taken my son (2inDec) to a soft play area near me, I’m doing the usual walking round following his lead as he’s so excited and wants to play with everything all at once, on the first round I noticed a little girl (quite obviously about 6 months younger than my son) standing around crying, looking lost, scared and confused. I asked the group of mums near her if they were her mum and they all said no. My son then went into the ball pool and I had to go make sure he wasn’t up to mischief, thinking the ladies might continue looking for the little girls mum, as I’m quite obviously heavily pregnant and running round after my own toddler. About 5ish mins later my son has run back round that way and the little girl is still standing in the same spot crying, my son tries to cuddle her and give her a kiss but she pulls away, which is absolutely fine... I let Taylen know not everyone wants a cuddle and look around again for this little girls mum, and say a lot louder, ‘where’s this little girls mum? Her crying is breaking my heart!’ A woman from across the play area, started walking towards me and smiled and said
‘I’m her childminder’
Me: ‘Why are you ignoring her then! She’s been standing there looking lost and crying for ages!’
CM: ‘everyone has different methods I’m trying to teach her independence. Rather than sitting on my lap’
Me: ‘you’d be sacked if you were my child minder, where even were you? try getting off your phone and interact with her! *pointing to phone open on snap chat glowing in her hand*
-again my son run off so I followed him because I’m a parent and my child comes first.
When My Son runs back round to where she is again she tries saying something defending herself to the other mums. Along the lines of ‘she will just sit on my lap the whole time otherwise’
I interject with, “what and her standing there crying didn’t hurt your heart? You didn’t want to show her everything’s okay rather than leave her to stand there crying! You aren’t even her mother to be ‘trying out methods’. Wish I knew who this poor little girls mother was so I could let her know.”
The one of the mums gives me a nod as if she agrees with me the rest just all looked away as if I was a arsehole for causing a scene in a play centre. I am quite a passionate person when I speak and have been told when I’m angry i make words sound venomous almost...
Also I feel I need to point out that she only had this little girl with her, no other children. Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
id4tiQDvKl7pqTbk8kRGbS9Btw0EUCCO
|
abg5bx
|
{
"description": "telling my friends they shouldn't be driving on New Year's Eve at 7:00pm",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friends they shouldn’t be driving on New Year’s Eve at 7:00PM?
|
So, my friends wanted to hang out. The problem is, we can’t really do anything if we do. One friend suggested we all go to the movies and another friend liked that idea. I, for one, didn’t want to be on the road since I know the holidays are generally very bad. There’s a total of 4 of us, and the last and final friend agreed that it was a bad idea. Turns out, the friend that agreed with me and I couldn’t go, and the two friends went to see a movie. I’m at home, it’s late, and the friend that agreed to see the movie randomly texts me (like they usually do when they want to make a point about something) with a sarcastic comment about how the roads were so packed. I explain my reasoning about earlier. At first, it was with a text about a Reddit post I saw about someone who totaled their car and advised about being safe on the road today. My friend said it happens all the time so what does it matter. At this point, I don’t know if I’m just being pushy about this whole thing. I just wanted to double check with you guys to make sure I was doing the right thing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ENjWy04efriIzsFiJcyDHdH3M6yzAsue
|
aulljj
|
{
"description": "telling my bf's friends a potentially embarrassing story",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my bf's friends a potentially embarrassing story?
|
This happened a while ago and me and this is actually my ex boyfriend but i think about this incedent a lot and can't get an unbiased opinion from any of my friends or family.
About 2 years ago when we were both 20 he wanted to go to a party with some of his friends on the campus of the college they went too. I wasn't a huge fan of the idea for multiple reasons but the main one being he was underage and it was a dry campus. I knew there was going to be alcohol there and I tried to tell him that of they get roudy in a dorm room the campus police will be called and it would be potentially bad. I didn't have an issue with him drinking but I suggested they come over to our apartment instead where I felt it was safer. He didn't listen and went anyway.
Well surprise surprise they got too loud and campus police showed up and I had to go pick him up after he was given a citation for underage drinking and I was pretty pissed. While on our way home he wouldn't say sorry too me but called his mother sobbing to tell her and say he was sorry. He was super drunk and I thought it was a pretty funny reaction given everything else. He woke up the next day and I made him tell me what happened and it included a story of his friend throwing up all over a police officer which he laughed about and told everyone we talked to, even joked about the incident to her face. I thought that was a sign that the embarrassing stuff they did that night was worth joking about and when his best friend asked me what happened after I picked him up I told her about how my bf called his mom.
My bf was furious at me for "emasculating" him and embarrassing him in front of his friends and yelled at me about it then and everytime is was brought up after that until the end of our relationship. I know I probably shouldn't have said anything but if you're going to make fun of a girl to her face about puking on a cop on the same night I guess I thought he should be able to take a little himself? I was upset with him and I won't pretend that's part of the reason I wanted to tell that story so I feel like that mabe makes me TA but I really don't know so I'll just leave it up to Ya'll to judge.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
1UEKV5K381tKiKJmJNDxnhhOHmENLT0e
|
a58vdk
|
{
"description": "cutting off my autistic friend in my life because of their autism",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for cutting off my autistic friend in my life because of their autism?
|
some background information:
we're all girls.
that friend (alpha) shows more obvious symptoms than me, who's also autistic.
alpha is friends with my best friend (beta), who's neurotypical, but they only got close because they both have no friends in their class (homeroom). I'm in a different class with both of them.
alpha's been friends with beta since school started this year. because i always go to their classroom to find beta during breaks, I also became friends with alpha since she always joins me and beta's conversation. I knew she's autistic (she knows I'm autistic as well) but at first I was fine with that, it's just sometimes she would be trying so hard for us to only talk about topics she's interested in.
alpha would sometimes join me and beta during lunch hours. and the whole time she would be only focusing on stuff that she's interested in. when sometimes I'd like to talk about stuff that I'd like to cover, she'd become more and more aggressive and change back to the topic we were originally talking. beta remained silent the whole time because she didn't know how to react to situations like this. (and she's that kind of person who just goes with the flow)
after one lunch when me and alpha became more aggressive towards each other than ever, I started to feel annoyed by her. so I started to stay away from her, but she seemed to be unaware of that, she still treated me the way she did before, and I was getting more and more annoyed. I was planning on taking a break from her to rethink how I should face her, but we see each other every day and she just sticks closer and closer to me and beta.
yesterday, alpha received a notice from the school on her application on going to a canadian study tour. since she's the only one in our school who applied to that tour, she has to pay an extra amount of money, then she asked me and beta if we could go with her so that she doesn't have to pay that extra money. however, we both told her that our parents don't allow us to go because they can't afford the fees. (we knew about the tour a while before yesterday and we've asked our parents about that) somehow she only asked me again if I really couldn't go with her, and I emphasized that my parents can't afford the fees.
suddenly, I heard her laughing. "who tf laughed?" I asked. she immediately pointed to beta, but beta denied that she laughed, and I believe she wouldn't laugh anyway because I've been friends with her for years and she has even seen my parents, also she knows how poor my family is. I was being so mad that I left their classroom immediately. this made me wanting to cut alpha off (in my life).
beta told me that she felt something's wrong with alpha's social skills, (she said she doesn't see anything wrong in me) but she doesn't know how to tell alpha about it. however, I kind of see myself in alpha. being only focused on one topic that I'm interested in, not being aware of people's actions, body language, etc. I've lost friends because of the same thing alpha did to me. (I got my diagnosis a month or two ago so I didn't know I was autistic when I lost my previous friends)
and now if I cut her off, beta would be stuck in the middle because she's okay with both me and alpha exhibiting similar autistic behaviour. also I'd feel guilty about that because I'm basically cutting off myself in my life (does that make sense?) and I clearly know that she can't control her behaviours, but still I feel annoyed that I want to cut her off. I feel like I'd be an asshole for that, so before I make this decision, I decided to post here.
tl;dr: my autistic friend annoyed me with her autistic behaviour to a point that I can't stand anymore so I wanted to cut her off. but if I do so, my best friend who's friends with her would be stuck in the middle and I'd feel guilty about that.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cLZFQihYnEvA0iPe7FwXEy1uX7rtDinV
|
a6rhje
|
{
"description": "wanting my mother to abstain from buying Christmas gifts this year",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my mother to abstain from buying Christmas gifts this year?
|
I grew up poor in one of the shittiest cities in the US. Despite that, I was always fed and always got gifts on Christmas. I only recently learned that my mom was putting herself into debt to always make sure my little brother and I had plenty of presents. I'm thankful for her generosity, but it needs to stop. At this rate, she's going to die in debt.
She's always bought for all my cousins, too. And since my first cousins are having more and more kids, the number of people she wants to buy for keeps increasing. I've pleaded with her for the past few years to just not buy gifts, trying to convince her that holiday shopping is not obligatory, that the kids all have plenty of toys and games already, that my brother and I don't need anything, and that that money would be of so much more use going towards future expenses. She never listens though...saying that she needs to because my first cousins have always bought gifts for my brother and I, and that it will make her happy to buy the gifts/sad to not buy the gifts.
I should add that I'm 2.5 years out of college, and I have a decent job (65k+ in an area with relatively low cost of living). Ever since getting this job, I've helped my mother financially as much as possible. She works at a school and doesn't get paid when the kids are on break, and I fully support her during those times. I bought her a car and pay for all maintenance and sometimes gas. I help her at random times when she won't be able to make ends meet in a given month. I've bought Christmas and birthday gifts, and I buy my brother things he wants and needs in her stead. I intend to pay off her credit cards over the coming few years.
I could buy all the gifts, but I just don't think it's necessary, especially when I'd rather put it toward helping my mom and doing things with the people I would be buying for. I take my brother to concerts and I'm taking the oldest cousin-once-removed skydiving next year. I'd rather do more things like that and buy gifts that matter at some point in the future than add to their piles of stuff. In my family, the Aunts and Uncles all buy the kids cheaper things, and their ideas for gifts come from the parents telling them "so-and-so needs an xmas idea" and passing whatever they said along. Call me a Grinch or Scrooge, but the gifts that come from that are meaningless.
I write this as I wait for my mom to come over because she wants me to go Christmas shopping with her, and I'm incredibly frustrated. If she didn't buy gifts this year, she could save that money for the next time she would need to "borrow" from me, meaning I could save what I set aside for her every month and could pay off her debt sooner. But she just won't listen and sounds a bit like her heart is going to break if I wear her down. AITA for being so upset with her?
Tl;dr: My mom can't make ends meet without my help, but insists on buying a lot of Christmas gifts. I want her to stop, but she's very emotional about it. I'd rather help her with her debt than buy gifts in her stead.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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wcnwma6Vz5Tcb6YMmQJd4Gjh0sWMbkk2
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b8sh1s
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{
"description": "calling my ex-girlfriend an idiot for getting back with her abusive boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling my ex-girlfriend an idiot for getting back with her abusive boyfriend.
|
My ex girlfriend is 21. We dated for 3 months before she randomly broke up with me last night. I later found out that she got back together with her ex-boyfriend, who she broke up with before we started dating because he was abusive towards her, physically and emotionally.
She told me about this ex (now current) boyfriend and he seems like a real psycho. She admitted herself that she put up with him for so long because he was tall and blond and handsome. Beneath his looks was a really messed up and flawed person. But of course she thought she could change that. Surprise surprise she couldn’t and she decided to leave him.
When we were together, she always told me how great of a person I was and how I was so different from her ex. She said she never knew what a normal healthy relationship was like before she met me. She even said she was “falling in love” with me.
Then, at midnight last night, she texted me saying she couldn’t be with me anymore. In the morning, she wrote a long message about how she was going to follow her heart, and her heart told her to stay with her ex. She said that she truly loves him and that she can’t imagine loving anyone else. She said she was never going to give up on him and that he is changed for the better now.
This was my reponse:
“Honestly, for such a smart woman, you’re acting like an idiot. You can’t just say all those things about wanting a man who respects you and then go back to your abusive ex. If you stay with him you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life. Good luck.”
I had a rough day and talked to my friend. She saw the text and said I come off as bitter and rude. And that I’m victim blaming, that I don’t know what kind of mental trauma that my ex-gf endured at the hands of her man.
AITA? Im an honest person and I can’t stand it when people act like idiots, especially in the name of “love”. I can’t help for telling it as it is.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
a2kjqi
|
{
"description": "cutting contact with my cousin",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for cutting contact with my cousin
|
So my younger cousin and I both go to the same uni. We grew up together and I would have considered him one of my best friends up until recently.
A few months ago I started hooking up with this girl Nicole. I liked her at the time but I was graduating that year so we decided not to make it official. We agreed it was cool to hook up with other people and not tell each other, as long as we didn't rub it in and use a condom. I also asked her to refrain from hooking up from this one guy as I know he'd try to gloat about it to me, and she agreed. So of course, after a few weeks she hooked up with that guy. And I've been cheated on in previous relationships so this made me very insecure and led to us ending things.
A few weeks later my cousin drunkenly hooked up with her. He told me about it thinking it would be cool to hook up with the same chick. Normally that would've been fine but I actually liked her. So I told him how I felt and asked if he didn't continue pursuing her. He agreed and I thought that was it. A few months later I find out he did continue talking to her and they're now dating. Now I no longer like her like that but I feel betrayed by my cousin. I opened up to him and he completely disregarded what we talked about. We haven't really talked since and on thanksgiving he texted me saying how thankful he is for me and how I'm like a brother to him. I didn't answer and thought that family would respect each other, unlike what I felt he did.
Am I the asshole for not responding and considering not talking to him anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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akgjml
|
{
"description": "guilting my ex boyfriend for giving me trust issues",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for guilting my ex boyfriend for giving me trust issues?
|
Background: I (18F) was abandoned by my mother three years ago, which left me and my life in complete shambles. I’ve recovered miraculously but it’s left some permanent scars, one of which I realized is the fear of abandonment.
Anyways, enter ex bf. We’ll call him Jaden.
Jaden was my first love. I shared everything with him, we connected in a way I’ve never connected with anybody else before. Everything in our relationship was fine, I tried my hardest not to let my issues get the best of me.
Jaden has a reputation for being a player.
So Jaden up and left me out of the blue one day, with no second thought, despite him “being in love with me” and knowing about my issues. I was crushed, the worst heartbreak I have ever experienced by far. He started dating somebody the day we broke up.
A few months go by and Jaden comes back around. Basically leads me on for about three weeks before deciding to call it quits once again. I’m fine this time around and just grateful to finally be over and done. No more stressing. I had worked too hard to keep him around.
I start seeing somebody new. Then, Jaden comes back and tells me how sorry he his for treating me like someone unimportant and that I meant a lot to him. I broke things off with the other guy and Jaden and I are rekindling.
Anyways, more often than not I lay into him for the way he’s treated me. I tell him how heartbroken and abandoned I felt, and that if something were to happen again I’d be truly done. No forth chances.
He’s been really understanding and apologizes profusely but I can’t trust him anymore and need him to understand that he hurt me.
AITA?
TL;DR I have abandonment issues and currently make my exbf (soon to be bf again) feel guilty for leaving time and time again and coming back only when it’s convenient for him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
abpl9c
|
{
"description": "leaving a grown woman on a playground",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for leaving a grown woman on a playground?
|
We stopped at an Air BnB as a halfway point between destinations. The host told us there was a pier with beautiful lights and a playground. That night we decided to go so we could take pictures of the lights and swing. We get there and everythings fine. No one is around. She’s running around trying different stuff. I walk to the beach to take a picture of the lights. I come back and she’s upset. “why did you leave me?” I said I left to take the photo/ she sulked away and sat on the curb next to the car. Next there was an hour of me being berated for “only caring about myself” followed by her disappearing for an hour. Now we’ve got 5 hours left to drive and no one’s talking.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
rdDvl4vbqYVMF1pTkvXsMGp1uWLoPZGX
|
au264l
|
{
"description": "wishing I could travel or at least go out more often despite being my mother's main assistant/caretaker",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wishing I could travel or at least go out more often despite being my mother’s main assistant/caretaker?
|
27M here. I live with my mother and younger brother. Mom has limited mobility and slight paralysis due to a past stroke. Bro works, so it’s usually my job to take care of things when Mom needs help (usually because she can’t lift/move an object, or because she needs help with the dogs or something). I’ve spent several months over the past couple of years barely leaving the house and it’s driving me nuts. I’m the type who likes to wander/travel. I’d like to eventually go abroad, but for right now even doing something minuscule like checking out a local mall to see how much it’s changed since I last visited would be cool. I’m physically and mentally capable of leaving the house under my own power- I just worry about what would happen at home if I was gone more than a couple hours.
I feel incredibly awkward talking about wanting to go somewhere in front of my mother. While she seems supportive, I can’t help but feel that she’s also apprehensive about me being away for long periods.
Hell, I’m pursuing my MA right now (which, yes, makes traveling/wandering an impractical activity since it’s a lot of work) in part because it gives me an excuse to get out of the house a few times a week.
I don’t blame my mom for anything, and she’s never once said she wants me to just be at home all the time- we just fell into doing that because she needs help semi-frequently.
.....So if I don’t blame anyone else but I still feel guilty, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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at6d3j
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be my parents \"errand girl\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be my parents “errand girl”?
|
Hey guys. This is something that has been bothering me for quite a while, so any opinions would be helpful. Probably still not going to approach my parents about this, but.
I am a 19 y/o, living at home with my dad and stepmom and going to community college as well as working. I go to school two days a week (all day) and work 3 jobs (25+ hours a week). I also workout and try to have a balanced life.
I pay for my own expenses, car payment, insurance, eating out, phone bill, etc. The only thing I do not pay for is rent and groceries for the house.
I love my stepmom and dad, and I am well aware that they do a lot for me, especially my stepmom.
However.
I am beginning to become frustrated/overwhelmed. My parents work from home and don’t leave the house very often, especially in the winter. This has caused me to turn into their errand girl. They have me get the groceries and run any errands they don’t want to leave the house themselves to do. This would be fine if it was every once in a while.
Example:
Yesterday I went to school from 10am-7:30pm with very little breaks in between my classes. I’m exhausted at the end of it. Also add i was feeling under the weather. 7:30 rolls around and my dad asks me to go to Costco(close to my school, but 20 minutes from our home) for him to grab a computer monitor he needs, but not sure what one. This makes me have to go to Costco, FaceTime him for 10 minutes while he decides what monitor he wants, and then asks me to bring it home. All the while I’m exhausted, and still not feeling well and just want to go home.
This is a common, if not daily occurrence. My parents are always asking me to go “here” or “there” for them because I’m out already or heading in that direction. A lot of the time, they don’t care that they make me late or I have previously made plans. I worked a 9 hour shift last Saturday, got off at 10 and had to go grocery shopping because they wanted things before a certain sale ended. If I’m the one who drove, I have to drag my friend or boyfriend to whatever asinine place my parents need me to go. This is something that my precious boyfriends (and current) have picked up on and think it’s very invasive and odd/rude. I’ve defended them saying they do a lot for me, so I can do some stuff for them.
But lately it’s just started to become too much. Add the fact that I have homework, jobs and my own life to juggle AND the fact that they claim I don’t do enough at home, it’s enough to frustrate anyone. I have weekly chores, try to keep my area and bathroom clean and common areas, but I still receive texts and get told that “I’m doing the bare minimum” and “why didn’t I do this”.
Am I the asshole because I’m living rent free and don’t want to be their errand girl?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
ImrcPtad31n1fFltWealZnLtyyFSZNim
|
aczt4c
| null |
AITA for this hatred.
|
I've been friends with this girl at school, we've known eachother for years but about a month and a half ago when I was trying to contact her she told me to fuck off.
At first I thought maybe she was just having a bad day and brushed it off.
At the end of the school day I went up to her and tried getting her attention and she completely ignored me, about 2 weeks later she refriended me and said she was sorry, I was kinda confused but relieved.
Then on about the 15th of December I noticed that she had me blocked, I made a new account and she did infact block me, I texted her saying that she needs to make up her mind and she replied.
"Lmao I blocked everyone you hoe"
And blocked me, I spammed her with more accs saying that she shouldn't be so mean about things, and that I wasn't gonna let this friendship go, after a few days I was broken I gave up,
I should note that I thought that when she said that she blocked everyone, I thought it was just a scheme to make me stop messing her, but she did in fact block everyone, at this point I didn't even care any more, I was later informed that she only hated me after I started spamming her which I only did because of mean she was being about things, so I started to be mean to her, I started with like mean looks and closing the door on her, but then I went to names and attempting to trip her and push her on ice, but it doesn't feel right, she hasn't blocked me on psn despite a reminding her, I feel like the asshole but I'm not 100% sure.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
0uNDxHCbJTLtDS26NiFIyvkk87MiFgK3
|
ajx4cs
|
{
"description": "taking pictures for a friend's wedding and not giving a refund",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for taking pictures for a friend's wedding and not giving a refund?
|
Sorry for the weird title. Anyway, this past summer my friend got married in August. We're not that close. More like coworkers who have stayed in touch on Facebook after moving on. A few weeks before her wedding she tells me her photographer bailed and wanted to know if my husband wanted the experience since he is wants to start a photography business. She offered my husband $500 for the job.
My husband loves gadgets so he had a lot of equipment he brought to her wedding. Including a video camera and a photography drone. Her wedding took place over a entire day. They had many musician friends play music. He busted his ass literally working 12 hours taking pictures, trying to video record the ceremony, record the live music that was played. But because he is also new at photography and had never done a wedding, it wasn't his best work. Everything he got is mediocre. He told them he'd get the pictures to them soon but it ended up taking him 4 months. He was embarrassed it took so long, but editing is still new to him and we had a newborn so it was just a lot at the time. I explained this to my friend and she seemed understanding but we could tell she was a little disappointed in how the photos came out. Husband promised her he still wanted to put a wedding video together for her, but it would take awhile as he realizes his computer needs better gear to deal with video editing.
He keeps asking me if we should have given her a partial or full refund because he's embarrassed how it all went and I say no. If she asked we'd give it to her, but she hasn't and I think she's getting a good deal even if it's not the best quality. We do feel bad it's taking a long time so we constantly debate it. What do you think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
lJ8N1IpZOVDGJi8rNkymQeqKNxcjfmK6
|
ai2m5h
|
{
"description": "asking that my girlfriend come along with me while I get a new haircut that she requested",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking that my girlfriend come along with me while I get a new haircut that she requested.
|
The time has come for me to get another haircut and my girlfriend has requested I try some style called a 'fade'. Now I have zero knowledge in the realm of haircuts/styles, so rather than assuming that what they give me is what she wants, it makes sense to me that she should come along to make sure they achieve the vision she has.
When I said as much, her response was that I "need to be less shy and just talk to them". While I fully admit to being an extremely shy person, I do not believe that is the issue here. Fundamentally she wants me to try a new haircut and I am perfectly willing to do it, but she is the only one who accurately knows what she wants, I do not. So rather then run the risk of wasting my money on a haircut she doesn't like, I think she should come along and tell them what she wants. She thinks I am just being shy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CXaVgOEarYGPWHKET4By60HUIaaHL4H9
|
aswsx5
|
{
"description": "talking shit about a customer in my store and hearing me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if I talked shit about a customer in my store and she heard me?
|
Ok I know a lot of posts on here are just for self validation but I really want to know if I'm the asshole. I'm going to try really hard to be objective and not try to let emotions play into my story.
I work for a very well known retailer as a manger. I have been with the company for 7 years with no complaints.
We recently got a new store manager who is very insistent that we uphold all store policies, black and white, as to not discriminate. I agree with this. My old SM would often make exceptions to store policy if a customer was a regular or became irate.
We have a regular customer (we will call her karen.) She is known by name throughout the store as someone who consistently is a hassle to deal with, but we have always been nothing but nice to her. Under old management she always got her way. Two days ago, she tried to do something outside of store policy. I explained to her that since she has been allowed to do this in the past, I would do the same just this once, but she shouldn't expect this in the future. My SM got mad at me for this but I felt it was the right action.
The next day, she comes to shop and asks me to break another store policy regarding returns. I tell her no. She argues. I tell her no again, explaining why. She continues to argue and bully me. This goes on for about 15 minutes until I decide to once more cave in to her wants because my company wants us to appease unruly customers so they won't effect the experience of other customers. I will say I was not the most friendly during this transaction and made it clear that she would not get this treatment in the future. (I did end up getting chewed out by my SM for this choice.)
I was very worked up and hurt by her treatment of me. One coworker could see that I was feeling upset, and asked what was wrong. I described the situation to her, and pleaded that we all remain on the same page with companies policy from here on out. I will say, I was emotional during this conversation and probably did not sound very professional, but was trying to keep quiet.
Ten minutes later, Karen calls the store and I answer. She asks my name (I give it to her) and she is very angry because she could tell I was "talking shit" about her to my coworker. I did say yes I'm sorry, you did make me feel hurt with your treatment so I vented with a coworker.
My SM isn't upset with me. The customer will most likely report me, which does make me nervous. I shouldn't have talked about a customer on the floor.
I am leaning more towards myself being the asshole here because even if she upset me I should have been professional enough to wait until I was off the sales floor to vent about my feelings.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
d5OjVmoVDHKCiGK8PyNEWtwXeIPhwXp9
|
a9q1k0
|
{
"description": "trying to prevent an ex friend from meeting my new friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for trying to prevent an ex friend from meeting my new friends?
|
I’m in high school at the moment, and on the science bowl team (I know, nerdy, but what can you do lol). Through this I’ve met friends from all across the country, and it’s been fantastic getting to know them.
Then there’s this girl from my school. We’ll call her Anastasia. Last year, she took advantage of our coaches disliking towards a member of the team and made herself the favorite. And although she didn’t make it on the main team, she got the disliked member kicked down to the second team. At the state competition, we won, which was huge, because we had never done that before. One of the members on the main team couldn’t make it to nationals after that because it was their birthday and they’d already made plans. Instead of taking the disliked member, who had placed at states, the coach decided on Anastasia. She claimed she asked the coach if the disliked member could take her place, but we caught her lying about it. Instead she asked if the disliked member could compete with her, even though she knew that wasn’t possible because only a certain amount of people were allowed on the team.
Other than this, though, she’s had a rough life. And I get that, but she also mentions it constantly. She keeps saying that her parents are too poor to afford summer camp, and the next week they buy her the new Mac and an iPhone X. One of my friends’ mom works in a hospital, and when we were studying after school and Anastasia was around, it went a little bit like this:
“Friend: Oh yeah, my moms still at the hospital can I get a ride?
Me: Oh, yeah sure. (I turn to Anastasia) Btw, her moms not sick or anything she just works—
Anastasia: My mom goes to the hospital every month because she has a higher chance of getting cancer so she has to go get scanned!
Friend: Oh that sucks. Wait, does she have cancer?
Anastasia: ...that’s private.
Me: (thinking) then why did you say something in the first place.”
She also makes it a point to tell you all of her life struggles the minute you meet her. Like she’s bragging about it or something.
In addition to that, she had to study for the national competition because she had never competed before. It’s insane, I realize, but the coach thought that she could catch up by practicing and studying. Instead of working hard and learning from others, she would shit talk them to our faces after practice. She shit talked a freshman, two years younger than her, for knowing more things than she did. She even didn’t want people to teach her stuff, which I don’t think she realizes is a huge privilege because the rest of us have to do things on our own.
She has talked crap about every single one of her friends, including me and my friend. She’s abandoned them, and started talking to college people in an effort to look cool I guess? Eventually earlier this year I told her enough was enough and I don’t think I can be friends with her. Keep in mind I’ve done nothing to her that I can think of. I mean, asking the coach to put the disliked member on the team might count, but I feel like that’s justified and was the way to get us to place high at nationals. Although it may have been fueled a little bit by MY dislike for HER.
Anyway, me and my friend have become super close with people all across the country. We meet up at competitions and it’s fantastic. Of course they have their flaws too, but it’s nothing we can’t get over quickly.
Anastasia wants to be friends with them so badly. But I have a feeling that if we let her join this group chat we have, she’ll ruin everything. She’ll tell everyone her personal problems and make them uncomfortable, she’ll talk crap about me and my friend to them, and she’ll end up starting drama over nothing. Me and my friend aren’t of course going to prevent other people from joining the chat. We’ve already had a couple people on the team do so, and we’ve offered it to plenty more. We hate playing gatekeeper but we can’t stand Anastasia getting to know these people. So, AITA for trying to prevent her from being friends with my new friends?
TL;DR: An ex friend that talks crap about everyone, took advantage of someone to get higher up on our science bowl team, and tells everyone she meets her personal problems wants to be friends with my new friends that I made, but I won’t let her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Stru7Wi6WBcTajYcO9aXfIPh9lfxF29l
|
a2pcsx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend Christmas with my stepmom's family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend Christmas with my stepmom’s family?
|
For as long as I can remember, it was always just me and my dad, but then he suddenly decided to get married over the summer. He didn’t even ask me or run it by me. I barely even knew the woman he was marrying. But they went to the courthouse and got married, and she moved in with us, there was nothing I could do.
And then, she decided to bring my dad and me to her family on Thanksgiving. I was super hesitant to go, and I tried to get my dad to let me stay home, but he forced me to go. Again, there was nothing I could do. That was literally the first time I met most of them, and I didn’t like it. It was so awkward because everyone already knew each other and seemed close, and I was obviously the odd one out.
Now, my dad is making plans for Christmas, and I already said that I didn’t want to spend Christmas with my Step mom’s family, and my dad is saying that I need to give them another chance, that I need to be more open and accepting of them. I thought he was asking too much of me, and we got into a huge argument. AITA for not wanting to spend Christmas with my step mom’s family?
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HISTORICAL
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auoxch
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AITA: A Very Poor Introduction
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I'm on mobile so apologies, although I'm not really sure why it matters or what it does.
Anyway, for a little background info, I'm very bad at wording things correctly/making things come out the way I intend. I'm not (painfully) socially awkward or anything, but, without going into much detail, I have seizures and they affect my speech and stuff a lot.
I was at work today and I met a mutual Instagram follower that I've always wanted to befriend, but was too shy. I waved hello and she waved back and I told her I've always wanted to talk to her and get to know her and she said she recognized me and said hello. It was a little awkward because I was rushing to take a quick bathroom break and get back to my job.
Well, I wanted to tell her how pretty she was but it didnt quite come out the way I wanted it to. I said "You're really pretty" but my tone sounded kind of confused. I didnt even notice until she replied "uh, thanks?" I felt so bad and just booked it out of there.
So, aita? Also, should I message her and explain I didnt mean to come off as rude or anything? Or would that be too much?
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"description": "not wanting to spend my Saturday night with my friend and his kid",
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|
AITA for not wanting to spend my Saturday night with my friend AND his kid!?
|
Lately, after my buddy and I (34M) make plans to go golfing or get a bite to eat or whatever, he'll ask me the day of if it's cool if his son comes along. His son is cool and all but Im busy and I only have a few opportunities every month to spend time with friends. I really don't want to spend one of those hanging out with a child.
FYI: My wife and I do not have children (not by choice).
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "mispronouncing words in front of my girlfriend's family",
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|
AITA for mispronouncing words in front of my girlfriend's family?
|
Last night, I was all set to have dinner at my girlfriend's house. We've been dating for about 3 months and I've met her parents before, but this was the first time that I'd be dining with some in what was obviously a more fancy setting. When I asked my girlfriend what they were serving, she said that her dad had cooked salmon, however I noticed that she had a weird pronunciation of the word. She included the "L" when she said it, making it sound like she was saying the first half of "salmonella". I asked her why she pronounced it like that and she simply responded with "Because that's how it's spelled" and I wasn't going to argue that.
Me, my girlfriend, her mom, and stepdad all sat down for dinner and it started off with some very casual small-talk and after that, I decided to make things a bit more humorous. I said to her stepfather "This is delicious salmon" except I intentionally pronounced it with the L, just like my girlfriend. My girlfriend was stifling a laugh and her mom was shooting me a curious look. Her stepdad, who is typically a straightforward, no-nonsense type of guy, simply stared at me and asked "Do you find my cooking to be amusing?" I then played it straight and said "No, I just really like this salmon." Again, I mispronounced it. My girlfriend and her mom both smiled at each other and then there was an awkward silence followed my her stepdad shooting me daggers. As I focused on my filet of salmon, another idea struck me and I decided to have some fun with the pronunciation of the word "filet". I decided to pronounce it with the T at the end, so that it rhymed with "skillet". Keeping sure to mispronounce both "salmon" and "filet", I said to her stepdad "I'm sorry if I offended you sir. This is just a really delicious filet of salmon." My girlfriend burst out laughing and her mom was also smiling ear to ear while chuckling, but her stepdad wasn't pleased. He simply stared at me with a blank expression, set down his utensils, and simply said "I'm done." And with that, he got up and walked away from the dinner table.
He never did return and my girlfriend's mom explained that he likes his private time in his study whenever something is bothering him. Her mom was totally cool with my little stunt and she thought I was just having some fun. But as her mom was serving desert, her stepdad comes in the kitchen and I can hear them whispering to one another, but I could only make out small pieces of what was being said. I heard her mom say "You're overreacting" and at one point I heard her dad whisper "sick little bastard." Then while me and my girlfriend were just sitting at the table, both of her parents' heads peer into the frame of the door connecting the dining room and kitchen, and they both just awkwardly stare at me before sliding back out of view. Then her mom comes in and she looks PISSED. She says to me "Please leave my house." but she also looks like she's ready to burst. I asked if everything was OK, but she just repeated herself and told me to "get my act together."
I left like I was asked and my girlfriend even sounds mad at me know. It's weird because she was laughing and playing along, but when I left she just texted me "Grow up." Now I'm just wondering what her stepdad could've said to them to make them change their tunes and have me kicked out.
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ahuett
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"description": "telling the school nurses/my doctor about how my sister's driving got me hurt",
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AITA For telling the school nurses/my doctor about how my sister’s driving got me hurt?
|
Okay, so my older sister (OS) has be driving me (Me) and our younger sister (YS) to school. Those two in the front seats, I’m in the back.
Last week I was leaning my arm against the window with my head in my hand because I wasn’t feeling good that morning (emotionally) she mad a sharp turn, my arm slipped and I hit my head off the window. I was crying in the back but they didn’t notice until we got to the school. OS didn’t want to drive me home so I had to go into the nurses office as I waited my vision was really blurry. I told them what happened and that my vision was blurry so they did a head injury report and I went home. I got shit from both of them but mainly YS, she told me how she thought I was lying about being hurt because I could still text while everything was blurry. I’m on my phone constantly so I know where all the letters are by instinct (That probably isn’t healthy) and a lot of squinting helped. Yet she still gave me shit for it.
Fast forward Thursday I was in the car again and she made another sharp turn. My shoulder hit into the car door and it hurt like hell. I tried to pull through the day, then my back started hurting, and then my chest. It actually hurt to breath. I went to the nurses during lunch and told her what happened (different nurses from last week)
When my dad showed up I was still having issues with breathing and pain in my shoulder/back/and chest so we went to the hospital for X-rays and all that jazz. I told them what happened and got checked. The doctor said it was probably a pulled muscle, told me to take pain relief and if the pains still there after a week come back.
Friday morning, still hurts but I go to school, well try. I barely make it out of the driveway. I’m not going with OS and YS anymore. I physically couldn’t carry my books. I’ve done it almost everyday for this school year and I just couldn’t. So I stay home and I’m pissed off because I know for a fact that if I hurt someone while driving,in the same way, twice on accident, I’d never here the end of it and wouldn’t be allowed to drive.
Twenty, minutes ago I was watching tv and I was like “Hey, OS, look at this.” And she asks me if I knew why she hasn’t talked to me since Thursday (we don’t talk much anyways so I never actually noticed). She said I was trying to get her license suspended. I honestly wasn’t and didn’t even think of that, like I know both times it was an accident but I’m not going to lie about how I got injured and then have something bad happen to me that could have been avoided if I told the truth.
I don’t feel like the asshole but I’ve been wrong about how I feel regarding right and wrong before and I just don’t know.
Tl;dr sister made sharp turns twice, both ended up with me getting hurt (Head injury and Shoulder injury leading to back&chest pain), I told doctors/nurses what happened, my sister accuses me of trying to get her driving license suspended.
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HISTORICAL
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AITA for getting frustrated with my friend who dropped out?
|
So, a while ago, my really good friend dropped out of school. While I didn't necessarily think it was a good idea by any means at the time, I didn't want him to think I didn't support him no matter what so I tried to be good about it. He told me it's because he doesn't think he needs school and is burnt out. I think a lot of it has to do with depression, among other things.
Now, it's been a few months and he's not doing much whatsoever. Sitting around at home for a lot of the time. He doesn't work or anything, and I feel like it's just making him worse. We've tried to talk to him about it but he's stubborn to a fault, sometimes. The career field he wants to get into is incredibly competitive and not really do-able without a degree, so I'm concerned about that, and also a little miffed because, coming as someone who struggles to pay for school, and his family could afford it a lot more than I can. I just hate watching him sit around like that. Of course, I still hang out with him as much as I possibly can, and he's still one of my best friends, but I'm so busy with school and work and other commitments that it's hard. I'm still being as supportive as I can, but AITA for having these feelings of frustration?
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"description": "not reaching out to my mom",
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AITA for not reaching out to my mom?
|
So my mother and I have very similar personalities and this causes a lot of friction between us whenever we’re together for more than a couple of days. We would often get into little arguments that would blow up into huge fights. But this is usually only if we’re in the same physical place. When we’re in different places, we would communicate almost every single day.
Last year I moved halfway around the world but in February, my family went on vacation together and I saw them for the first time in like 6 months since I moved.
On the last day, she was already kind of pissy. When we got to the restaurant, neither of my parents were really talking and I didn’t have any so I was on my phone. She said to me “why don’t you talk to us? We never get to see you. This is our last day, spend some time with us”
I told her, “I know that but I don’t really know what to talk about right now. If you have something you want to talk about, I’d gladly participate in the conversation”
I can’t remember what she asked me but it was a yes or no question, not exactly conversation kindling. So after a few minutes of no conversation, I went back to my phone.
Again, she got mad and repeated to me what she said earlier. I repeated my answer again. This happened a third time. I told her conversation was a two way street and she needed to give me something to talk about if she wanted to talk because I could not think of anything to say. She claimed she already tried to start a conversation but I told her all she did was get angry at me for not starting a conversation.
This was the last straw for her and she got up from the dinner table and left before our food even arrived. At this point, I was quite angry as well so after I finished dinner with my dad, I went to a bar to grab a drink and wait for her to go to sleep because I didn’t want to deal with another argument and we were all staying in the same room together.
The next day, my parents had a much earlier flight than me so they left before me, around 6 in the morning. I told my dad to wake me up so I could say goodbye to them. He said goodbye to me. I told him to be safe. I said the same thing to my mom in the same way and she got angry and said something along the lines of “you don’t need to be like that. You need to grow up and stop being such a brat” I replied that I said the same thing to dad. Then they left.
I haven’t spoken to my mom since that day. I want to make the relationship better, but I feel she was more in the wrong than I was and she should be the first to reach out. I just spoke to my dad and he says he’s pretty sure that’s not going to happen. He says I should just be the bigger person but she’s an adult too. If she was to reach out to me, I would apologize for my part in it but I’m very tired of the way she treats me sometimes. AITA? Should I just give in and reach other to her first?
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WIBTA for not seeing my dad xmas eve
|
We had all originally agreed weeks ago that I was hosting until 2 days ago when my aunt called me telling me that my dad told her to tell me the plans changed and that he and stepmom would now be hosting.
I had a baby 3 months ago and originally wanted to spend this xmas season at home. But then my mom broke her leg and can't go anywhere and she's literally going to be alone xmas with her friends nanny watching her. So we decided to visit her even though it's a 2 hour drive.
Back to xmas eve. The hard part about saying no is that cousins I haven't seen in years will be there and my stepmom's dad just died. He was staying with them. And her mom is really sad over it, which I get. She doesn't want to be left alone...I don't get why this wasn't able factored in when we all originally agreed to do it at my house.
My dad called me later that day and told me about the plans saying it would be easier for everyone, they'll just order food, blah blah blah, telling me what time to leave my house to get there. I have to be at our church by a certain time so if we don't all get out of the door early enough to see my dad then we might as well not go.
I reminded him that MIL is going to be with us and let him know that she's bringing her dog. He said that was fine but then yesterday H and I remembered that he's technically not off xmas eve so he can't exactly be away from the computer for huge chunks of time. My dad is an hour away so not sure if H would go with us or just make up the hours later somehow.
Here's the big thing that bothered us. My dad asked me that we not be too joyful because stepmom's mom is still really sad. Mind you we have an energetic 4 year old and H has been depressed, so have I actually. And then to hear that kind of request is ridiculous to me. I mean it's Christmas. And shouldn't we be trying to cheer up a sad lady?
Right now we still don't know what we're going to do. And I feel like my MIL is going to feel dragged around if we do go, but she did want to see my dad and rest of family because it's been a while. Also my MiL gets depressed too I dont want the whole atmosphere to set her off too. She'll be here tomorrow and maybe we'll see what she thinks then. Don't want to ask her before she leaves because then she might not come.
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asmaye
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"description": "wanting sex",
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|
AITA for wanting sex?
|
Me and my girlfriend have been together for around 21 months, for the 1st 6-8 months we had plenty of sex but since then we have had very little (our anniversary is the only time in the past year)
I mentioned this to her once when she rejected my advances which upset her and she told me that she just wasnt into that sort of thing. I told her that I could deal with it and promised to stop pestering her for sex thinking it was something she might get over or that I could cope without sex
Fast forward many months and I am completely starved for sex (the most we have is a peck on the lips and cuddling) and I tell her that I feel like I need sex in my life and if she's unwilling to have it with me that I'd like to have a more open relationship just for sex
She got upset because she says it's a confidence thing but she never mentioned this previously, so am I the asshole for bringing it up or should I have just tried to keep it in my pants?
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HISTORICAL
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|
AITA: for saying that its better to not hsve money for the family then to have money and not give it?
|
Okay so i suffer from some serious problem's. i have ocd anxiety dyslexia and a seriously messed up right knee that has also led to back problems. and while im trying to get disability. its very hard here. and right now im not bringing in any money. now i live with my grandmother aunt mom and dad they are all disabled far worse then me. i may not bring money. But i bust my ass helping im the only one who does. i walk to the gas station to get what my mother needs sometimes in the middle of the night.i clean and vacuum take out the trash and help my bedridden gradmother with everything from taking her sugar to lifting her and helping her go to the bathroom. im not just a mouch now lately my twin sister and i have been butting heads. Because we are now trying to move to a first floor apartment trying to prolong my grandmas life as going up and down the stairs is an ordeal that is killing her and me and my dad when we have to lift her up two flights of stairs. Well my sister reveals out of the blue that she is leaving and in the two month lead in she is saving up to move so she will not pay any rent.she says if i dont pay rent she won't i told her its diffrent because i struggle to hold down any jobs and whenever i have ANY money OR things i share with my family. Allways she said no. She called me a mouch said money is the only thing that counts for contributing and im an asshole hence why im here im very conflicted. My sister really got to me and im feeling very conflicted
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HISTORICAL
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b8vxps
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{
"description": "wanting my bestfriend to talk to me while away",
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|
AITA For wanting my bestfriend to talk to me while away?
|
Alright, so this monday my bestfriend went to Ireland for about a week with her uncle in a mini vacation and also to get a bit of time with her cousin, since she doesn't get to be with him often, all of this was pretty awesome and I was pretty excited for her.
​
Well a few days passed and she pretty much doesn't message me at all, and I don't mean we don't really talk as much, that would be totally expected, she's in a different country, I mean, in two days the only think I got was a "Heyy" and a pic of her face in the first day, some hours after she arrived.
​
Now , I do have to say that I have anxiety and tend to overthink everything a lot, but yesterday I sent her a message saying that I wanted to talk more to her, since I wanted to know how everything was going, it feels like she got a bit mad even though she didn't really say anything about it.
​
So.. Am I being the asshole?
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|
AITA for jokingly teasing a fellow student about his shirt
|
So this happened a few weeks ago, and for it's been weighing on me since, so I thought I'd see what you guys had to say;
I've recently started at law school this year straight from high school. I chose this specific school because I had experience the previous year by participating in their high school mock trial competition, in which they gave all the participants a free t-shirt, which has the name of the university and "high school mock trial competition 2018".
Obviously a fair few students who participated in this competition now attend the university, and while there's not been anything said, it's seemingly implied "don't wear the t-shirt to class, you'll look like a tool" kind of thing. (Also worth mentioning; after this incident went down, I found out that the boy had actually worn it to the law faculty orientation and the law student association had called him out on it)
Anyway, a few weeks ago during a mid-lecture break, I saw this boy wearing this high school mock trial competition t-shirt, and as I walked past, said "hi" and started joking around like "Oooh wearing the t-shirt (his name)" and he, goes "all my other shirts are dirty" and I continue smiling and laughing a bit and go "oh sure haha" and continue walking the other way, But as he goes by I hear him say to the girl he's walking with "Well, *she* was judgemental."
I was a little taken aback with this, as I thought it was just a bit of teasing, but to be called judgemental for it got me thinking, AITA?
Worth noting; I had met this boy before and had a few discussions- maybe not firm friends yet, but getting there - I wasn't just teasing a complete stranger. Also he had a reputation amongst us 1st semester law students as showing off a bit, and "flexing" on the rest of us (for lack of a better word) so him wearing the shit fit into his personality
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aw8yi2
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|
AITA for demanding proof?
|
Long story short, been with my partner 11 years and I have found he's been talking to girls online for 6 years with breaks of a couple months. He fessed up a few weeks ago after I found naked pictures of his old fwb.
Anyways. We hit bottom, talked it through in a surprisingly grown-up way.
We've addressed the underlying issues-he has to talk about issues before it becomes a crisis and I have to let him be a partner in the relationship. We've pushed each other away a lot in the past
We've found a way to overcome this in the sense that we're willing to challenge ourselves to be better for our sake and the sake of our kids.
We touch base often to see how it goes. I'm going back to therapy and suggested he do the same.
I want to ask him to show me the messages where he says "yeah, not going to do this anymore, I'm committed, bye Felicia"
I feel like everyone is entitled to privacy-I'm seriously violating his by checking his Facebook despite being terrified of what I could find... But at the same time if it happens again I am walking out. His refusal to show me proof would be enough for me to walk out too. I still kinda feel like I'd be an asshole to break a family over this. But then again, I'm not really an asshole to ask the man to commit. 🤷
|
HISTORICAL
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b723jz
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{
"description": "not finishing my friend's work",
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|
AITA for not finishing my friend’s work?
|
So there are three characters: me, friend a, friend b
We were working on a project that was due today. We were all panicking because we procrastinated and friend A had to leave for a competition in five minutes. Friend A was panicking while friend B suggest that I can help print everything out and submit, however, I did not finish mine either. I agreed because I was too wrapped up on finishing and nothing else. After class ends, we ended up not finishing ours, nor hers. Friend A’s parents are very strict about her grade and I am concerned of telling her and her getting in trouble with her parents. AITA? If not, who? I feel so bad for her and I don’t know how do tell her..
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HISTORICAL
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acn863
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{
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|
AITA for ruining a party over a sexist remark?
|
**TL;DR** because it's longer than it needs: I sigh because someone called a known woman a slut. This person takes it badly because it was condescending. I want to drop the subject but he keeps arguing. Points out how angry I'm getting, storms off and leave. His brother catches up to me and asks me why I got angry, but doesn't seem to agree with my feeling that I got angered. I get remorse for ruining the party's mood, so I come back and apologize. I get what feels to me like snark in response. I drop it entirely but my ego is still hurt to this day.
Hey everyone, I'm posting my story here because the people that were witnesses will dodge the question if I ask them their opinion about it. I'll be, at least try to, be the most truthful I can, but I'm a faillible human and the way I recount this event might be biased. Don't hesitate to point it out if you feel that it's the case.
A few months ago, I was at a chill little party with a group of friends, we were six people. I'll name two of them: B, the party's host, we're long time friends and even shared a dorm in high school, and his big brother L, who I'm familiar with because he's been present at quite a few of B's parties, but isn't someone I usually hang out with. It seems releavant to note that there was only one girl at the party, and that everyone else including me were dudes.
We were playing a trivia games in teams of two, and I teamed up with L. It goes well, until the point where a card mentions my country's counterpart to Vanna White from our version of The Wheel of Fortune. L says "ah yeah, the slut!"
I'm not here to argue about sexism, so I don't call him out on it, but I don't like that remark so I let out a sigh that's loud enough to get heard by L. He gets defensive, and this conversation ensues:
**L**: "What? That's what she is, she's a slut".
**Me**: "I don't think you should call women sluts even though her job is to look pretty on TV"
**L**: "But that's litterally the definition of what she is! She sells and displays her body, so she's a slut! You and I don't even know her and will never meet her anyway, so what's wrong with calling her a slut?"
This goes back and forth for a little while, and I feel like he's trying to say the word "slut" as much as he can to get a raise out of me. I get exasperated because it's clear that neither of us is willing to change opinions. I also can see the mood is degrading as the rest of the people present fall silent and have their attention focused on us. I ask L "I want to stop talking about this, can we go back to the game?", in a clearly annoyed tone.
**L**: "but Siphonay, you have to understand that you have your opinions, but that most people disagree with you", "you shouldn't be so condescending because you think you have the right opinions".
I start getting angry and ask him how I was condescending.
**L**: "well you sighed when I said that Victoria is a slut, it was really condescending and you clearly feel superior and think I'm a misogynistic asshole"
**Me**: "I never called you that, I just expressed that I didn't like what you said! I wanted to keep playing nontheless! Stop taking me for an fucking idiot, I know you're trying to make me angry on purpose!"
At this point, I've lost my temper and I'm screaming. Everyone else in the room is silent. A friend interjects calmly "you shouldn't get this angry, but I agree that L's words to express his opinions are harsh, and probably not the right ones"
**Me**: "it's not about that anymore, I just wanted to keep playing the fucking game and he keeps pissing me off with this! He's fucking with me!"
**L**: "I'm fucking with you? You're so childish for getting so angry and vulgar over me calling her a slut, you don't want to take any responsibility for your behavior"
I'm really freaking out. I try saying that I'm more angry about him sealioning me than what he initially said. He keeps calling me a condescending white knight, so I snap and call him a fucking asshole, which makes things worse.
At one point, I realise I ruined the night. I stop talking, pick up my shoes and heads out. L tells me "that's it, storm off like a civilized adult, you're such a pleasant person", sarcastically, of course.
I walk back home, boiling inside but I feel really bad for ruining the evening. B catches up with me on bike, stops me, and asks me calmly why I got so angry, telling me I ruined the mood and everyone's got so silent.
**Me**: "Don't you feel like he was taking the piss at me and getting me angry on purpose? Because that's how I felt"
**B**: "He wasn't angering you on purpose, you just both got big egos that clashed. But nobody back here knows why you got so angry over *litterally nothing*. Are you okay?"
I burst into tears because of the remorse I have, and I explain to him that, as he knows, I have anger issues that I pretty much can contain nowadays, but (back when this happened), I'm in a pretty rough life situation and had to adjust to a sudden change, so my temper was shorter than usual, but that it's not an excuse for what I did. I also explained to him that, I did not come to argue about that, and that at this point I didn't care who was right or wrong, I wanted to drop the subject because I felt it was not the time and place to do so, and that as much as he was calling me childish and immature for getting angry, he didn't try once to appease the situation.
B doesn't reply to that, and there's a pause for a few seconds, I collect myself, and ask B "Do you think I should come back and apologize?"
He tells me that I can if I want.
So I head back to his place with him. I'm still pretty shaken and I'm clearly holding back tears while I'm saying it:
"First off, I want to apologize to you, L. I realized that sighing in exasperation when someone says something is condescending and that it's normal that they don't react well to that. It was rude, and I shouldn't have done it. And I want to apologize to everyone else for being unable to control my temper, and for ruining what was an enjoyable night."
Here's L's reply: "It's good that you found the courage to come back and apologize. I hope that one day you manage to overcome your psychological issues."
This answer didn't please me, and that's quite the euphemism. I felt my apology was genuine, because I really felt bad about what I did, and getting so angry, and turning everyone's good time into a bad time. I expected him to apologize, in turn, for whatever. Maybe for using the language he used, or maybe for not trying to calm down the situation. But it seemed to me that he thought only I was responsible for what happened.
I didn't reply, I just sat down. The game didn't resume, but we dropped the subject, everyone started to talk again, even me, even L, sometimes to each other, without hostility. It seemed to have become a chill party again, but calmer and less lively. It got late and everyone left normally like nothing ever happened.
This was probably way longer that it should have been for such a mundane story, but it's been in my mind for months. I don't want to bring this back up with L, but the one or two times I asked anyone else that was there, they just reply to me that they didn't hear the start of the conversation, that they don't know if he was angering me on purpose, so I'm not insisting. So this is a bit venty but I really need people to tell me what they think about it. I thank you for your patience if you read this far, and in advance for your honesty.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
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dQyhucgrmalcaXsEZNjQFxFeYghGriS4
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akv4o1
| null |
AITA best friends ex
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So my best friend ex added me a few days ago on facebook and we hit it of well but atthe same time the girl i like at school started talking to me and seems interested i like her more but i would feel like an ass if i were to back off my friend's ex now becuase ive gotten there hopes up but i probably will does that make an ass? (Note my best friend wouldnt get mad and is in fact dating my ex) should i try and go for the girl in my school or her
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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C019ehWgHMC8GWjvn7W9CoXZ4lKdTiF2
|
ar1a4y
|
{
"description": "not appreciating a ride",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not appreciating a ride?
|
I'm going home for the weekend from my university and the nearest airport is an hour and a half away. I don't have a car so I had to ask a friend for a ride, which is a lot to ask because it's a 3 hour round trip and it's hard to fit that in with class as well being out of the way. Also made it clear I would pay them($50 vs $100 uber), but most everyone had class and my only option was this one friend I have mostly through association with other friends. I'll be honest when I say this was probably my last choice because I just don't care for him too much. However, he was kind enough to take me and beggars can't be choosers so I take the ride.
He picks me up and he has a friend already sitting shotgun so he "wouldn't be lonely on the ride back." Fair enough, I still get a ride. We talk for a short while before I get dropped from the conversation. No big deal, I brought headphones so I'll just listen to music. Nah, he starts blasting edm while still trying to have a conversation with his friend in shotgun. He's pretty much just yelling while they listen. The subwoofers he has are right behind me, I can't even hear my headphones cranked full volume.
Eventually we switch to country and I get a "hey petefromthestreet, do you like country?" to which I reply "A few songs here and there, but not my first choice. So and so dropped a new song have you heard that? it's pretty good." and he said "oh I'll play it right now." he played half the song and then went back to his own thing and that's the last we talked for like the remainder of the car ride.
I never said anything, but I just feel so ungrateful and a little upset, even though he was my only option, I like him less.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
4ugRToebQOvAI8L0hwsVTjrJJxFGHYaE
|
apt915
|
{
"description": "telling my friend to leave this guy already",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friend to leave this guy already?
|
So she has been dating this guy for a while and they are doing great. Recently there has been a lot of fights between them and she has been trying to break-up multiple times. However, every time he pulls the "If you leave me, I'll commit suicide" card.
I've been in a relationship where my girlfriend committed suicide out of the blue so I decided that I know what she needs to do. I tell her to just leave him, he shouldn't even be pulling the card and if he actually does commit suicide then at least he can't torture some else like that again.
She gets mad at me for saying that. She instead starts to chew my ear off about you don't ever do that to someone who is suicidal and that she still loves him. I call bullshit and leave her alone.
So Reddit, Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
zSzBdXHoKaVznb6wEVjU5Jkpjxwx22XJ
|
b7jecg
|
{
"description": "avoiding the manned checkout at the supermarket in favour of the self service one",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For avoiding the manned checkout at the supermarket in favour of the self service one
|
I was picking up a small amount of groceries from Tesco that my parents forgot to buy on the way back from school (milk, cheese, veg and some sweets). After I gathered my items I made my way to the self service checkouts. I normally use the self service checkouts for two reasons:
1) I know that it is quicker for me to do it myself
2) Better to listen to my own thoughts than feign niceness to the checkout person whilst awkwardly waiting for them to be done. I don't have social anxiety or anything I just find it a bit tedious.
In this instance, as I was walking to the self service checkouts I heard a woman call to my left; Along the lines of "Do you want me to help you with those?" I very awkwardly semi ignored her with a "eerit's alright". I didn't stop walking at all and only half looked over my shoulder to see who it was that was offering me assistance. As i returned my head to look where I was going it clicked that the woman had some sort of mental disability. After i responded my brain noticed that she said the sentence a little oddly (Not sure how to describe it with respect, but it was an obvious tell that she had a speech impediment). I got to the self service checkouts a few seconds later and looked up to see she was looking right at me with a sad expression. At this point I could see by her face she had some sort of disability (scrunched face, saggy lip...). I looked down, scanned, bought and bagged my items. When i glanced over again she was dealing with a new customer.
Safe to say i felt like shit afterwards. I am a 17 year old boy if that matters. But was i really in the wrong for rejecting her offer? Does the fact she had a disability change the situation?
​
Cheers
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
S90zxU4ijlVmQDBgw9TBjr279fCrQXvq
|
9th7zb
|
{
"description": "refusing to get an old man a refill at Subway, because I didn't hear him first time he asked",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to get an old man a refill at Subway, because I didn’t hear him first time he asked?
|
Bit of background story: I (17M) live in Sweden and in gymnasiums (i guess kind of equivalent to high school) we have ”food credit cards” that all students receive in our school in order to eat out, that are filled with approx. 5.5$ each day (we don’t have a cafeteria). We can only eat at restaurants that the school has a deal with. One of those is Subway. This happened about 1-2 months ago.
We decided to eat at Subway that day and we were late that day and as soon as you’re late by just about 5+ minutes on weekdays, lunch time, the place is crowded af. Anyway, since it was so crowded there were no seats available that day, so me and my 2 friends decided to sit with the lone old guy at one table. He was very quiet eating his sub while me and my friends were also eating, talking, whatever.
Then, the old guy asked me a question, since I was the only one sitting right across him, my friend beside me and my other friend beside the old guy. I couldn’t hear him, (crowded place and he was barely audible). I asked him to repeat himself, tilted myself closer to him and I still couldn’t hear him at all. He was also in a wheelchair. Then, I said no for some stupid fkn reason because I didn’t want to look like a dumbass for asking him to repeat himself a second time.
He looked sad for a moment, looked up and asked my friend beside me the same question. My friend also asked him to repeat himself and then said yes and got him a refill. I asked him once we were outside what he asked for and he replied ”probably something along the lines of: can you get me a refill?”. Once he said that it kind of clicked, since it sounded similar to what he asked me initially. I laughed at it and told my friends I felt bad and would have got him the refill if I heard him. They were joking about it asking me why I said no. Guess I was tired that day.
AITA? I wanted to hear your opinions since I felt awful about it for like 2 days lol. He was really sweet and old, probably 80+ years old. Also wanted to share this story since I found it a bit funny (and sad) :(
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
mfD7JTTVLjC6QK6rFIap1wEvREp5TLn8
|
am0hq9
|
{
"description": "yelling in my bf's parents house",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for yelling in my bf's parents house?
|
Sooooooo... Can't sleep. Can't eat. Had a nightmare and woke up pale and dizzy. Please help.
I need to know if my behaviour was normal for someone in a panick mode.
We were going to visit my honey's parent's house (dacha/дача) when his dad told me his agressive dog tried to kill my cat. That cat is a jerk and she is fearless so she just ran to that monster to play. Luckly, the cat was saved by the dad. But I was mad that he let that happen and most of all I was furious my kind hearted kitty was now injured in the head. And it was obvious Zosya wasn't okay and that they didn't look hard enough to notice that she was injured. So when I came and saw her injured and acting strange I became sooooooo angry I thought I was gonna kill the dog.
So I start saying, not yelling, very agressively that this f*cking dog bites everyone in the family, she is a nightmare, and calling the dog a couple of bad russian names. So my bf tries to calm me down but he says things like no big deal the cat is okay now, there is nothing I can do about it anyway so there is no reason to act this way. I go like no, that f*cking dog IS a reason. We start raising our voices and we ended up screaming at each other. I have never screamed so loud at someone in my life. All I was thinking was HOW COULD YOU BETRAY OUR CHILD YOU CUNT. It lasted no longer than a couple of minutes and than he started eating and I stayed with my kitty to check if she was okay. Of course we ended up with more fighting and not taking to each other but that's another story.
When we discussed that he told me it was inappropiate for me to start a fight in his parents house and I told him that he can start a fight with his family whenever he wants to in other words calling him hypocrite.
I get it. It is not my house. And I am always aware of it. But this time I was way worried about my baby than thinking about what is acceptable and what is not.
I believe I am an asshole. I couldn't stop myself from showing my emotions. But at the same time, maybe it is something that all people do once in a while. Am I trashy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
14UduFPUCy7QgCNuOfSUi1c4A0megBj2
|
a02vdm
|
{
"description": "cutting it off with a girl who gave every sign that she was into me, but then refusing and mocking any advances that I made",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA If I cut it off with a girl who gave every sign that she was into me, but then refused and mocked any advances that I made?
|
A girl, who seemed very interested in me, once invited me over to watch a movie alone in her room on her bed. I made a a couple of advances throughout the movie to which she would just laugh at my face and say "can't we just watch the movie?". I even made an advance after the movie was over. Same reaction. It wasn't even in a rude way or anything, it just indicated that she didn't want want to do anything like that. It also seemed like she still wanted me there though, because she put on another movie afterwards. I made no advances during this second movie.
I tried catching up with her a couple of times after that. She would constantly tell me that she was into me when we messaged each other, put us in situations where we were alone at hers, but just lost it when anything actually did start to happen. It was really off-putting. She wondered why I didn't keep perusing her after that, and actually got rather annoyed at me when I just stopped messaging her. A couple of weeks later I messaged her, and she just gave me a snarky response along the lines of "I think you meant to send that to someone else". Our few interactions after that made me feel like question whether I was in the right, or wrong. She seemed really annoyed at me. I just felt like I was wasting time with someone who wasn't that into me.
For a bit of context, this happened a few years ago. We were also in university, and had our own private student accommodation rooms. No parents around or anything. Some recent post on another sub made me reminiscent, and it made me question whether I was in the right, or acted like an asshole in the situation. What do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
2evl9d7J1CYsWCtYuGK6Htzht98UrN0t
|
atpc04
|
{
"description": "saying no homo",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for saying no homo?
|
On mobile so sorry for formatting issues.
I'm 12 and my friends I make jokes like " Your'e hot no homo tho" and a new kid I saw hanging out with my friends so I went to talk to him. I then said to my friend " I'm gay, but no homo tho. New kid got super offended and left. apparently he was actually gay??? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
U2Gf2ZkqoaiQ6cVSzBuUy8rQWuxnom8L
|
avx72l
|
{
"description": "turning down sour cream man",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for turning down sour cream man
|
Okay, so I met a guy at a bar who seemed really nice, we hit it off. We decided to meet again on valentines day. When we went back to my place, and he changed clothes, I noticed he had this horrible body odor of sour cream chips and I politely asked him to wash his hands because I thought it was from something he ate recently. But later, when we were laying together, all I could smell was this horrible smell. I didn't let him sexually touch me because it was overbearing, and slept in another bed when he fell asleep.
​
I haven't seen him since then and he texts me every single day. I finally told him that I wasn't interested, but I didn't tell him why. He keeps texting me and I want to be left alone, but I don't have the heart to tell him the truth. It was so strong that I seriously think he might have a medical problem or might be insecure about it.
​
AITA for rejecting him and for not telling him why?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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