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J5HIWcdhdn9lTkv3W9vE4vCmqe0wMoP3
|
aivhh1
|
{
"description": "getting mad over something pretty small",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For getting mad over something pretty small?
|
So context required. My friend G and I were messing around before class. Nothing big, just screwing around and wacking each other with books, the usual. So she had hit me on the shoulder and I was about to wack her on the head (softly of course, I'm not a monster) when she blocks me and smacks me on the nose. It actually hurt pretty bad for about a minute and I thought I might've gotten a nosebleed. She apologized, but I didn't talk to her for a minute or two on our way to our next class.
When we arrived to the next class, I said it was fine and I forgave her. She and another friend didn't do anything but tell me that I was being over dramatic and should've let it go because she apologized. This kind of thing doesn't happen pretty often because I'm usually a chill person and don't get mad quickly, and when it does, it usually is just a minute of me being a dumbass and ignoring her and then apologizing for being mad.
So, Am I The Asshole for being upset about something that small?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
SjLsBAqh1HHrOKoYNA3pqJnQY9KeNsk6
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b76pqx
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{
"description": "not letting my friend stay over because I wanted to have drunk sex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting my friend stay over because I wanted to have drunk sex?
|
So my girlfriends a I want to have drunk sex. But we rarely get to do it because our uni clashes, and the only time we can is when we’re invited out to parties. We both have a mutual friend who lives in the same area as my girlfriend (an hour away) whereas I’m usually a 10 minute drive away from parties. The last few times our friend has asked to stay over, and we’ve said no because we want to have drunk sex but felt rather bad about it. Are we the assholes for forcing her not letting her stay?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
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NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
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|
RIGHT
|
oH1Tpmrwf5XplsNTDiuMTqZqZGOjA5SF
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a46tcm
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{
"description": "getting upset with my coworker for not going after an upset child with autism",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my coworker for not going after an upset child with autism?
|
My coworker is a good person and decent teaching partner but today she drove me up the wall.
We have a child in our class who has autism and is prone to emotional outbursts. He was upset about being asked to help with a task so he ran out into the hall.
I was busy with a group of children in another area. My teaching partner wailed to me and told me to go after this child because she could not.
I’ll tell you why she apparently can’t. Her knees have gone bad and so have her ankles. Okay I understand it’s painful but in this situation you need to make sure that child is okay.
She proceeded to tell me “I can’t be running after children.” And I told her she needs to at least check where he is exactly so we know he’s safe. She then told me not to get angry with her and left with her group of children in a huff.
I took my group to the class because I wanted to chat with her right away. I managed to calm the child down and he was able to return to class as well.
I stepped outside with my coworker and told her that despite her physical ailments, in an emergency situation like that she needs to keep an eye on the child. If it means your legs need to be in pain going downstairs or walking fast then so be it. I asked what she would’ve done if I wasn’t there. She said she’d walkie talkie other staff...
What the actual fuck? By the time you do that the child could easily run away, out into the street or god knows where.
I explained to her that she needs to locate the child immediately and she can’t be saying that she “can’t do this” right in front of the children. It’s very inappropriate.
Anyway I made her cry and I did apologize but it needed to be addressed. In the moment I didn’t really care about her mobility issues because at the end of the day our job as educators is to ensure these children’s safety at all times.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
xbP3fYawCOYRqMcYIEqZuBcx0PLBc5kf
|
agb6js
|
{
"description": "telling my flatmate to be more quiet while she's studying",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my flatmate to be more quiet while she’s studying?
|
We have a 2-room apartment and my flatmate has this habit of studying while speaking to herself.
Sometimes I can hear her while I’m in my own bedroom and it bothers me, especially if I have to focus on my homework/courses.
I asked her once to “be more quiet, please” and she got angry, saying that she can’t do that because “that’s the only way she repeats her material”.
AITA for telling her that ONCE? She does this thing almost all the time, but now I simply wasn’t in the mood and I couldn’t ignore that annoying murmur while I’m MYSELF studying.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ab6L3GC95rGrWzWyudFJYWJESHFO6yrF
|
as73of
| null |
AITA or sister?
|
Aging mother with special needs has been living with me for going on 8yrs. I am the oldest brother with 1 younger sister. Not a wealthy man but try my best. Mother was originally living with sister. Sister got 'fed up' and realized she could not 'gain' anything from mother (financially). Mother homeless. I take in mother ASAP once ex-wife leaves (would physically attack mother). Sister knew this but mother still was in a homeless shelter. Sister's public excuse is she did not have room. Complete lie. Living in the same place as before. Originally had 2 kids. Now has 4 kids. Had plenty of room.
Sister makes good money. Happy for them. Really. Good enough to be looking to buy their 1st home. But sister keeps coming to me to help her. I say no. Not because I do not care or do not love her, but struggling. Sister turns to mother and I am forced to make up the difference (financially).
Sister demands mother do her laundry for her family. My aging mother cannot keep doing laundry for 6 people who do not even live with us. I make up the difference and end up doing her laundry. Continuous non-stop use causes washer/dryer to die. Inform sister, enough is enough with plans to buy new washer/dryer.
Sister goes behind back and rents washer to "house" washer in my home with "understanding" that these are hers so that I may do her laundry. Had "agreement" with mother without telling me. Continues to ask for help, preventing from saving to buy own washer/dryer. -- Feel like slave labor.
Seek a car to obtain a new job (2nd job). Car is also for mother's doctors so my mother does not wait hours in cold for a public bus. Lucky to even have a 1st job, since no verifiable work history (all Fortune 500 companies no longer exist). Not much money to get a new car. Money was only obtained by other family members who took pity. Realize local car buying is not an option. Do homework and find a place that sells good cars but far. Will need help getting there (out of state). Sister disapproves and will not help get a car. Sister knowing I have money indifferently tries to obtain money.
Pressure to get a car ASAP and with uncertainty on how long I can keep the money, I settle. Get "fixer upper". Put money into "fixer upper". Life improves. 2nd job was to start next month. Mother's health and well-being improve.
Sister demands our mother to babysitter children. Often. Our mother cannot keep awake. I do it to make up the difference. Time watching sister's children could be used toward work and other life tasks.
Car dies (transmission). Sister finds out. Hold me in contempt.
As a result of my, outspoken "defiance", that washing machine and dryer which she has been holding over my head (keeping me in servitude), she is taking back. Now I must attempt to save for a new washing machine and eventually, save for a new car, and hope my sister does not indirectly (passively aggressively) stop both.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
vc0dl5mJAqH96ypV5Dxb6USQB5HnQ7fY
|
b6rwnv
|
{
"description": "not inviting one of my best friends to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not inviting one of my best friends to my wedding
|
So I got married over 2 years ago and my best friend still brings this up to this day. So I'd like to get Reddit's judgement as well.
My wife and I chose to have a very small wedding, and only really planned it a few months before our wedding day. We both invited our parents and a few of our friends. No siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc... One of my best friends who I met through playing online games is upset that I did not invite him to the wedding. I chose to not invite him because it was going to be a very short small wedding. I live on the east coast, and he lives on the west coast. A plane ticket plus a night or two in a hotel would have easily cost him over $1,000 at the time. My wedding cost less than $400 total. I wouldn't feel right having him spend more than double what I paid to come see my wedding. He still brings it up to this day. So... am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
lWzqbKH8u76lYTYOIm1Ebtipe4nDbb8c
|
b75sci
|
{
"description": "not agreeing with my parents past prejudice religious/political views in Northern Ireland",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not agreeing with my parents past prejudice religious/political views in Northern Ireland?
|
i(Long)
Grew up in Northern Ireland, despite the past "Troubles" (also, religion and political beliefs differ in 2019, as they did in the 1980s) and hate i was also brought up without bitterness and without prejudice and was able to make my own decision about what happened. My mum and dad were catholic, dad more republican (Pro IRA, Anti British than my mum was)
​
So tonight, i was in a heavily protestant neighbourhood close to my area, invited by a girl (protestant) whom i lived with for 3 years in university, aswell as 3 other I in a house of 6. I was always told and educated with diversity. Yet tonight a guy was making fun of me for being catholic, i gave it back as him being a protestant (as ya do up north), so turns out he and his family were well known in the community and in this in this area and no taxi company/service would take me from a protestant area to my catholic area (and vice versa). Barman who was a protestant, knew where i lived and got me a taxi to \*insert my area\* without me telling him my address or where i l was from( how did he know?) So i get into the taxi by saying "you know where im going, just stop when i tell you mate i appreciate it" Taxi knew i didnt want him seeing my house due to where i am blah blah he lets me out all fine and i get home SAFE.
I tell mum and dad and they're angry for putting myself in that "dangerous" position I defended myself for saying im born a different generation and saying that not all protestants are the same sectarian people you grew up with.
​
Told parents of the story, and they were SO ANGRY as i was in that position, got a taxi, was talking to protestants,etc. I defended it by saying how things have developed and i made it home safely anyway.
So AMITA? Will appreciate any help before morning lol.
​
TD;LR: Mum and Dad get annoyed their catholic son is in a bad protestant area due to their childhood, i stand up for my political and cultural beliefs and get shunned for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
JnKAkN12aN4gjy2JCj4plPTzH4ctGycE
|
atfmeo
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my doctor about his recommendation",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my doctor about his recommendation?
|
Backstory: Around twice a month, I wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe. This has been going on for the 5 or so months. This was worrying but I didn't think much of it since I was back to normal right after I woke up. Recently however, I woke up more than once in one night and was terrified. I thought I was going to suffocate to death in my sleep.
Issue: I went to the doctor and told him about this. Judging from what I told him, and the fact that I'm overweight, he said it's probably sleep apnea. He told me what caused it, how it's treated etc. But after this, he told me to go home and video myself sleeping to see if it is actually sleep apnea. I explained that I'm not comfortable doing that, he replied that I don't have to show him. I then said that I don't have a way of recording 7 hrs of video footage as my phone is a dinky 8gb iphone, he replied by telling me to borrow some video camera that can.
The reason this was annoying me is because he said there's something called a sleep study which can be done. This seemed much better. However, he said that before I could do one, I needed to see if it was actually sleep apnea. Isn't the whole point of the sleep study to diagnose if it is sleep apnea? Why do I need to test it myself, and then get it officially tested? I heard that this condition is potentially life threatening and that I may actually be suffocating more often than I realise which only exacerbates my anger.
Am I the asshole for being angry at my doctor after this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3AtYjErwsLGkE7mcvOeYqcECGQxULMQV
|
b6z7gt
|
{
"description": "telling the man on the bus next to me to leave",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I tell the man on the bus next to me to leave?
|
I am on a long bus trip. The man next to me is around 40, round aka fat build. I am doing some stuff for uni. minutes after the departure he pulls out a bottle of alcohol. Fine, alright. Then he fell asleep. Problem is that he is spreading his legs over to my space, he is snoring, he has bad breath. It is extremely distracting. Anyways, he is awake now. I don't think it is an appropriate way to behave oneself. Especially when he just took another sip.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
ZMyRXV5CzuQ4ESYA8oVfFUZMo2NJ6H2y
|
b16pwl
|
{
"description": "telling my friend I don't want to get lunch with his friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my friend I don’t want to get lunch with his friend
|
Long story short, I told him I didn’t want to get lunch with his friend(not him) because he’s not someone I would usually socialize with. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
YkQeFOLKkNEZaa1NFSzY0Kd6OpsF169Y
|
acrfkn
|
{
"description": "wanting my S.O. to tell me when he's going to be busy",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my S.O. to tell me when he's going to be busy?
|
So my S.O. (I don't know what else to call someone I'm in a flirtationship with) is a very sweet guy. He asked me out and I said yes but I'm not allowed to date and all. I broke up with him a few days into our relationship because I felt overwhelmed and all and we sort of stopped talking for a while and then we got back together. The problem is, he says he loves me but is also attracted to another girl.
So we're in a flirtationship, as we call it that ourselves.
So a few days ago he and I meet up. It's an almost date. We're fine and having fun the entire time and we also were fine after that too. He acted super happy that he got to see me and all. He said stuff like "I love you" and "I wanna take you to my favorite places it's gonna be so romantic" (I'm paraphrasing) before the date and all.
And then he suddenly stops talking to me. He doesn't even reply to my goodnight text and he ALWAYS replies to it. I'm like no not again please no what did I do because this has happened before. He acts so nice and then suddenly acts like he doesn't want anything to do with me. He won't text or anything even while being online. And it was going the same way.
So I was like "hey we need to talk about something important" (this is all through text by the way). And he said "what's up". And I replied in a very calm, collected and grown up way. I asked him to give me a small heads up if he won't be active for a few days on end and all. I told him that he's not just a friend I can greet with a "haha how were the 3 days you didn't talk to me lmao but it's fine". We're almost dating! I deserve a small heads up when he's not texting me.
And he replies with "oh, sorry"
I tell him that it's not me trying to be controlling or annoying, I just wish communication would be a priority in our relationship.
And it seems as if things are back to normal. But I don't want to be the crazy bitch in a relationship. I don't think he's cheating on me or anything like that everytime he's not replying to my texts. I just feel hurt and disrespected when he does this closer-then-ignore act.
AITA for asking my SO to give me a heads up when it comes to these things?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
xJjpODkLyR6djzU0vHH3Q0yPIdSRuUTZ
|
akmqf5
|
{
"description": "not wanting to associate with my friend/ex anymore",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to associate with my friend/ex anymore?
|
So basically a little bit ago I had a realization that my ex, (who I was still friends with) was seeming hypocritical and manipulative. What caused the the realization I was will get to later, bout for now I’ll start with some backstory.
So earlier last year me and this other girl were dating. She had previously been dating my other friend and she then encouraged us. However, I was hesitant. See, I’m asexual, so I don’t have sex and often like to take relationships slow. The friend that was previously mentioned (I’ll be calling her A) and my ex (who I will be calling K) got together by making out. In MY bathroom.
That is also not to mention that some drama had gone down between K and her other ex while she was with A. Appearently K had gotten back together with said ex because someone else messaged K saying that they liked her ex. WHILE she was dating A. I found out this was true after logging into K’s Quotev account and reading the messages for myself.
However, despite this, I decided to date her anyway. Later, we had a sleepover, to with I expressed SPECIFICALLY that I’m “Not really ready to kiss as of now.” Despite this, she kissed me anyway. I went along with it because I was awkward and I was tired.
We went on for a few more months before we decided to break up, well, I broke up with her. She begged he to come back, to which I said no.
Me and K continued to be friends. She was still kind of bitchy and always talked about how gay she was and how she’ll never be attracted to guys (btw she now has a boyfriend).
However, what made me completely done with her was that one day I had a panic attack and she asked why I was crying, I couldn’t answer, obviously, so someone else told her. She scoffed and said that I wouldn’t be so upset about it. However, the next day, the person who caused the attack came up and apologized to me. I said it was okay and that I find of just freaked out because she was yelling at me. K was behind me when it happened and defended me, saying “Oh, yeah, because you were just yelling at her, it’s fine.”
Okay, now, I will admitt, K has done some good things and wasn’t... too bad of a girlfriend. But I told her that I didn’t like her anymore and that she was an asshole and she just shrugged. A little while later, a mutual friend approached me, taking her side saying “this is so stupid! You should just some hating each other and be friends again.” I told the friend off saying stuff about how she was aweful and how I’m allowed to not like people. She huffed and sulked the rest of the day, causing more people to get mad at me.
At this point, I fell attacked and don’t know if I’m in the right or wrong. Me and K are still talking like civilized people (because she’s one of the only people who I share fandoms with) but I really don’t like her. By now everyone just associates me by hating K. But am I really the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
yU9E86MN7EsOBcZMcnakltGUqGa01FpA
|
b8qfsv
|
{
"description": "leaving a bad review on a family member's business",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I left a bad review on a family member's business?
|
My husbands half-sister's grandparents (so not my in-laws) own a car repair shop. My husband car is still running, but is having issues that needed to be fixed, such as the car not wanting to go over a certain RPM. My husband called the shop a week and a half ago and they said they could begin looking at the car Tuesday if we brought it in that Friday night. I thought it was silly to drop it off and have it sitting in a lot for four days, especially since it was still running, so we dropped it off Monday night. It is now 8 days later and they are just now looking at it to figure out what is wrong. At 4pm today they told my husband they were going to test a part tomorrow and that was it they were going to order it. They won't give us a timeline, but I imagine its going to be upwards of another week. We need this second car. My car is a company vehicle so when Im at work its with me. My husband took off some days for our kids spring break (tomorrow) and instead of being able to go out to do things they are stuck at home. Im pissed and there are already reviews online that suggest this is a common problem with this shop. My husband says its because they are down a mechanic, but I feel if that's the case they should be transparent with customers about how long things will take. So, WIBTA if I left a less than pleasant review on their website?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
IAsS2Gzfic3kbtOLY5k5V56U5FQaRDH1
|
b7ktxx
|
{
"description": "yelling to stop a kid from taking something from a yard sale",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling to stop a kid from taking something from a yard sale?
|
So I was out selling stuff at a garage sale today and a woman and her small kid were looking around. There was a toy space shuttle that the kid wanted, and he was about to walk off with it but his mom saw and put it back. They moved on to another yard, but they passed by again after a few minutes and were about to leave in their car. The kid was walking behind his mom and picked up the toy and was going to leave with it. Now I'm sure the mom would have noticed when she saw her son, but my girlfriend and I both yelled "hey!" loudly. It was instinct on my part, and thinking back on it makes me think I should have said "excuse me" or just waited for the mom to notice. I will admit that my gf has quite a brusque manner of speaking, so she probably sounded aggressive, but I can't exactly replicate it in my head. Anyway, the kid drops it (or his mom took it out of his hands; I can't remember) and yells "Hey, don't talk to my son like that he's only 4!". I remained pretty level-headed, but I was pretty agitated because we didn't say anything bad; the kid didn't even seem upset! However, I tried to difuse the situation by calmly telling her "I wasn't yelling at your kid, I was only trying to get your attention" as she walked away. She proceeded to turn around and give me the cuntiest death glare I've ever seen in my life(it should be noted that her hat read something to the effect of "resting bitch face"; she looked like the can-I-speak-to-the-manager type). At this point I was really upset and even felt my blood pressure go up but I just looked back at her almost bewildered. She then proceeded to drive off, presumably pissed off. Am I the asshole for yelling, or for hating her on the inside, or both?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BGnyF7BPKqayhxW6ysoOwLgv46yvLfU8
|
b17vze
|
{
"description": "having our wedding before her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For having our wedding before her?
|
I got married a week ago. We got engaged in November so had 4 months to plan the wedding, there was a bit of contravercy around it though...My husband's sister is getting married in May and has been planning it for 2yrs. Apparently she and their mum were Ticked off by our timing. When he first messaged his mum to tell the news, her imidiate response, 'Can't you wait until after [sister] gets married?' (No congratulations or anything) The fact that she'd been planning her wedding for this long and then her brother turns around and suddenly gets married before her apparently seems unfair to them. I Think she may have felt it was stealing her thunder, taking away from the excitement of her big day.
I'm Not completely sure how much she was bothered by this. Their mother didn't seem annoyed so much, she just suggested we wait. When we were adament about the date though, she got on board and began excitedly planning with us. He messaged his sister to ask if she was okay about it, but it so happened that in that moment she was already annoyed about something unrelated, sontook the opportunity to complaining about that, the wedding thing wasn't really discussed. He said he couldn't tell if she was actually bothered by our wedding, or if she was just bothered by this other issue that came up. I Never heard her complain specifically about our wedding. Once she'd calmed down she seemed okay with us, so we carried on with plans. On the morning of the wedding, as I was getting hair done, her mother said, "I Do wish you had waited..." After I brought it up, but didn't press the issue. This got me worrying that the sister resents me. I Honestly didn't believe we were doing anything wrong, but still didn't want her feel spited.
I Admit that I do understand her annoyance to an extent, but honestly think her and the mother were being a tad unreasonable, I don't think this would have been sufficient reason for me and my fiancé to have delayed our plans
My reasoning-
•Our day will detract from hers. Everyone has been looking forward to hers for years, and is very happy for her. It's going to be a big event, whereas our was small and simple. When it comes I don't think us being married months earlier is going to make anyone less excited
•We have life plans to fulfil, and I don't see why we should have to delay them any longer for anyone else
•We're not getting any younger, and are aware of how long it can take to get pregnant, so want to start trying as soon as possible. (She already has kids a family life)
•It was her choice to wait 2yrs to get married. There's nothing wrong with this, however think they shouldn't expect others to put their own lives on hold for those years
•Waiting until *after* her wedding would have meant only a month at most after theirs for ours. Would she not prefer us to have a couple of months between rather than a couple of weeks, if she's worried about it detracting from her's?
So AWTA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
cfXEeCzA6Z5hbeYfGclzvrnOwctjgAkE
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awbgc3
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{
"description": "getting aggravated at my friend for convincing me I was invited to his house to hang out with a few friends and then saying I can't come last minute",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting aggravated at my friend for convincing me i was invited to his house to hang out with a few friends and then saying I can't come last minute?
|
For context: This friend of mine has a thing where people go over to a dollar store, pick out food, and try to make a 3-course meal out of it.
He normally invites 3 people to his house for this, and we make a fun night out of it. This time, he told me that it would be me, friend 1, and friend 2. I am currently in another state at the time of posting this, and he knows that. He also knows that I would be back in time to attend whatever he had planned. I decided to text him about it to get a time.
He then said,
"Oh I thought you were out of state, so I invited friend 3"
I then asked,
"Ok, so am I still coming?", to which i got a stern "no".
This is where I started getting a little pissed. I just politely asked him to ask me before he invites someone else next time.
He then says,
"You were 4th on the list".
I know this is a lie and at this point i'm trying not to crack, so I ended the conversation. Keep in mind, he had a conversation with me about this event multiple weeks ago in school.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
HGcSgj9GDATNFGhYLlDaZLIgy73S2Jbm
|
ahbfff
|
{
"description": "convincing my daughter that today is Sunday",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For convincing my daughter that today is Sunday?
|
School was cancelled for a puny snowstorm. She's 10 and is so confused right now. My wife is in on it
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ha5MQjX7E4coN7Bq1y0NyYLtDG2qWfgM
|
b0bnfb
|
{
"description": "being to continue drinking Lapsang Souchong Tea despite my roommate's disgust at its aroma",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I were to continue drinking Lapsang Souchong Tea despite my roommate's disgust at its aroma?
|
I've gotten interested in trying different kinds of tea lately, one of them being Lapsang Souchong, which is a form of black tea that has been smoked over pinewood prior to packaging.
I enjoy the flavor and aroma of it and I like to drink it every once in a while. My roommate, on the other hand, thinks it smells like "Burning erasers" and has complained about the smell the last couple of times I've been drinking it.
Would I be the asshole if I were to continue drinking it when there is a possibility of him entering the room, or should I try to stick to other kinds of Tea?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
WRYShWgxnYdt09bcDjAFHe3xk1sqaIfB
|
aymwl0
|
{
"description": "changing my mind",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for changing my mind?
|
So here’s the backstory, I have a weird fear of getting knocked up, like to the point it’s irrational and I know it is. Met a great guy and we’ve been together for 3+ years, and in the beginning, I just kind of avoided the whole sex thing until he brought it up about 6 months into the relationship. I decided that maybe just doing it would make me realize I was being irrational, but it only caused me to spiral into my own fears and spend countless hours googling pregnancy symptoms for nothing. I told him about this and we kind of just called off trying again for two years. For some reason, after those two years passed, it kind of clicked and the fear went away, our sex life has been great since like August. But recently, the fear has come back out of the blue, and I’ve been avoiding telling him. We’re long distance atm so it’s easy to make excuses as to why we can’t meet to do it (out of town next weekend, on my period, working overtime, etc...) but I think he’s starting to catch on and he‘s even gotten a little shitty about it. AITA for changing my mind about wanting to do it and not telling him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1481QMAWzkVbt4RBMoy2sML1O288ojJK
|
ac21ms
|
{
"description": "telling a girl I'm available a couple days after she told me she was busy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a girl I'm available a couple days after she told me she was busy
|
tl;dr I'm into with this girl, suddenly got the cold shoulder, and then told her I was available anyway because I'd already invested so much
I fell heels over head for a girl in my junior year of college. I then spent all of my social capital to win her over (calling in favors, etc.) and ended up dropping out and moving back in with my parents. I live in the midwest, and she now lives in Phoenix, twenty minutes away from where my sister lives. I visited when my sister got married, and she (the girl I'm into) wanted to pick me up and take me out. So I thought, "fuck yeah, everything worked out after all." Then I went back to the midwest, and later returned to visit my sister and her husband again. This time *I* took her out, and we had a good time. I went back to the midwest, and told her about a week before Christmas "I'll be in Phoenix from the 23rd to the 28th." She had moved to LA and was visiting family over Christmas break in Phoenix too, so I invited her to dinner and a movie about rock climbing (on the first date she took me rock climbing). She said she wanted to, but said she was "going to spend all the time with them"--meaning her family--"that \[she\] can." I said "no problem," even though I was a little hurt. She didn't respond, so I texted her a couple days later and said, "I'm here until tonight, and up for anything." No response five days later...
​
After rereading this post, I must say I feel pretty pathetic. This is probably my all time low. And I've had some pretty low lows. Thank you to whoever read this far, and have a happy new year.
Update: she blocked me on Instagram I think. Her sister’s Instagram says she follows her, so I think she didn’t delete her account.
Update 2: she must have deleted her instagram account
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
VRzbC0xq44VPtWPMpv4mVzWK7Y6SbLFA
|
aolyy9
|
{
"description": "ruining a girl's basket ball manager job at my highschool",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA that I might have ruined a girl's basket ball manager job at my highschool?
|
Backstory: Im 15, whos been bullied since kindergarten and has gotten out of a bad depression almost a year now. Im in 9th, shes in 10th and is a year older than me.
I've never had a problem with her till now. I respected her as a person(she was very kind to me, this is the first time she "acted out" towards me), then in choir today while we were practing songs for the musical she dropped a gum wrapper down my pants and someone recorded it on Snapchat. I did not notice until 7th period when one of my classmates asked me if I had noticed anything. I was confused and asked her "what?", She told me and said "Thats why me and bff's sister were laughing." I was pissed but couldnt go to the principal yet since it was the last hour and I liked the sub we had.
After school, I told the principal everything. He said he would do something about it since that had broken a lot of the policies.
So I might have ruined her chances to continue being the manager. AITA?
SIDE NOTE: Her older sister was appearently an asshole to my older sister back when my sister was in highscho so my parents were aware of the family already.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
sWioLZ3VWB6uuPJ4v3IPCAVWuC65pHyh
|
b3jqxs
|
{
"description": "telling my art teacher no",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my art teacher no
|
So I worked my ass of for a week while she was home most of the project when I turned it In yesterday she said it looks bad I don't like it redo it so I told her no and got sent to bic. Today I got she asked me again and i said NO so i went to bic again
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
Ye8yic1kGhbQUKQlvFULQDzc0QOc7j4K
|
aqfbmz
|
{
"description": "throwing a coffee cup at him",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for throwing a coffee cup at him?
|
So I have a close guy friend and the other day we were hanging out at his house, and when I had to go he was like "bye b\*tch" and I said "don't call me that" and then he said "bye c\*nt" and I got so mad that I threw my empty coffee cup at him (not directly, I threw it off aim cause I didn't really want to hit him) and told him to go f\*ck himself and left.
I was super pissed because I told him multiple times before to not call me names like that cause I really didn't like it. He always brushed me off by saying "it's just a joke chill" and saying that when he lived in the U.K. (he used to live there but we both live in America now) everyone called each other c\*nt and it was fine. But in America that word has a completely different meaning which he knows about but doesn't give a sh\*t. Plus I never call him any type of name like that (there's no equivalents for guys anyway)
I kinda regret acting the way I did because I don't normally lose my temper like that, but it was a very impulsive thing because I felt extremely disrespected. I want to apologize but at the same time I think he should apologize first because he started the whole thing. Everything was fine until he said that. What do you think? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
0bA4YqbEaw2ldHM92l3qYYQvSHrcoSbR
|
au8f9n
|
{
"description": "\"messing up\" my grandparents phones",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA For "Messing up" my grandparents phones?
|
So, yesterday I saw my grandparents on there phone and they were still on ios 10. I asked them if i could update there phones and they said "Sure". So, I update there phones and after the update it asks for there Icloud password. (They don't know the password). So, now they are locked out of there phone and they are blaming me for messing up there phones.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 5,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
luOsrVUCq5wekUFNhJE5YW1oKznFGme2
|
afyssi
|
{
"description": "wanting to look for other girls",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to look for other girls?
|
For some context, I met this girl about a month ago at a theatre competition. We clicked and, shortly after meeting, both admitted we liked each other. We've been talking almost every day since then, up until a week ago.
We were talking one day when she asked me "What do you want to happen between us?" I respond "I kind of want to be together." She then tells me "I dont really feel comfortable being in a relationship together right now."
I completely understand that. She told me that she had some bad experience with people beforehand, and tried to dictate my actions around that. I still like her too, I still want to date her.
It's just that she lives an hour away from me and neither of us can drive to each other at the current moment. On top of that, I consider myself a physically romantic person (in that I enjoy being around people and seeing them).
The way I see it, we're not really dating, due to her saying "I dont feel comfortable dating right now". I think it's fine to, since we're not dating, to look for other people. We're not committed to each other in any real fashion, so I feel like its within my right to do that.
Either way, it still feels like an asshole thing to do, so I want to ask the people of Reddit what they think.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
4UeNmqGsdDIfAAmpqE8z1tFtEtiqX3iA
|
ahl4go
|
{
"description": "letting my emotions get the better of me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for letting my emotions get the better of me?
|
Tonight was the start of our vacation to Florida. My mom, fiancee, and I were in the car making the 6 hour drive down. We stopped to swap drivers and my fiancee mentioned previously that she was angsty from being in the car so i asked if she wished to drive, the response i got was something along the lines of "meh" thinking she could go either way and me not wanting to just stand around i made my way to the drivers side and hopped in. As soon as she hops in she sorta leans in and snaps at me in a harsher tone than i was expecting "next stop i drive" all right, sounds good, i can do that. However she sits back in the passanger seat and proceeds to as best i can describe wall up. Her body language was defensive yet aggressive, i try and write it off and just get on the road. As best i could try at least, but i just couldn't shake the feeling of a porcupine sitting next to me.
I wanna start this paragraph off by saying up front i can let my emotions get the better of me, i know it, and i dont like it. Over the past two years with my fiancee ive definitely learned more about controlling yet learning from them. With all of that out of the way back to the story, as i am driving along i can feel a bit of her anxiety, im aware of every grunt she made while adjusting how she was sitting, when she would take a big breath and just kinda sigh, which sometimes its just for her to correct her breathing pattern so i can understand on that one. However the three of four times she would take that breath and inflate her cheeks and , literally, slowly deflate.
Obviously, somethings not quite right to me. So i ask her what up? No reply was to be had. Somtime after this she grabbed a pair of headphones, and went even further into her own world. At one point she says take exit so and so, but i couldn't hear her, so i ask "what?", "exit 298" this exchange wasnt what got me, but what got me was the fact that as i asked her what, and while looking at her i see the exit sign for 298 go by. She tells me this as we are literally passing it. And now im seeing signs for a toll road. Great. I say "as we are driving past it? Now where am i going" she just sits there and continues to play on the switch, blankley. Fuck now what!? I panic and yell "will someone tell me where the fuck i am going!?" My mom pulls up the maps and gets to it. Turns out we didnt even need to take that exit. Ill admit it was probably Google maps being weird. At this point i admit i felt a little peaved but i focused on just driving. Some other idiots may have been on the road so i was trying to make jokes about look at so and so, but she was in her world, and my mom was in back in her own. Which is chill. However my fiancee being distant made me feel a little lonely on this drive, i dont think ive added its maybe 1am at this point, but the other half and i are night owls anyways.
After the exit incident i decided im gonna try and find a good spot to stop and swap drivers. Hell she wants to anyways, maybe it'll help improve her mood. Well a little while later i get off the turnpike and we swap. From here on out it was pretty uneventful. I tried to help with navigation, figured it would be wrong of me to do similar as she did, admittedly i was tempted, but thats petty, and i truly do not wish to see her flounder, frustrated, or anything, i truly just want to make her happy, because when shes happy and smiling i find no greater joy!
We get to where we are staying we get settled pretty well. And we start to turn in for the night. Its maybe 2:30am by now. So its which is honestly close to our normal time for bed. Im still a little worked up over earlier, and i know that if i dont talk then she wont know whats bothering me and we'll lock ourselves into a cycle, and its shit all around. So i try to start a conversation, me knowing myself i think i could have approached it better, but i think knowing my anxiety about just talking about things to start with i did good in my presentation. So i start off with "i decided to swap drivers in the hope it would improve your mood." Yes, obviously a bait question, but i wasnt looking for a fight. I was honestly just looking for a response, something. But she never even looked up from her phone. I dont know what i said next to try and start a conversation but her reply was "well you were having mood swings" first thing i said is "ya, probably, but you have been living in your own little world of anxiety, and all i wanna do is try and help" i was quite flustered by this and had to walk away, i said what i said with my emotions, and i didn't like it, anything more would have made things much worse. I dont know how long i was away, i know i paced about for a good minute before going outside for some fresh air. As an astronomy nerd i stared at the moon for god, too long, beautiful thing. Anywho after a good little bit i feel like i have calmed down enough to at least go back and be in the same room as her.
Back in the room she is pretty much just as i left her, i think i started to take my cloths off and prep for bed, i say to her though "all i wanted was to tell you how i felt, so you could know where i was, and to have you at least acknowledge thats how i feel." I was not met with a response. At all. After having just said what i said and being met with what i was met with i was feeling low, i just hold my arm straight out to the side and flop them down, and just stair at her with my mouth open in disbelief, finally she opens her mouth and im greeted with "you remember that Facebook post mamma was telling us about? Well im just like that, all out of fucks." Guys this one fucking hurt, this one hurt like a good kick to the nuts. I dont even think i made it out the door before i was crying. And my friends, im a 6ft tall bearded dude who works with motorcycles, i was crying like a little bitch. I didnt make it far, before i turn around and while deffinantly letting emotions get the better of me i say "do you enjoy this?" Her reply was "enjoy what?" Insult, meet injury. Having already ran with the thought of asking her to sleep on the couch while i was looking at the moon, for some reason i felt it. And in a somewhat moment of clarity i said, as calmly as i can with tears in my eyes, and my heart on fire. "If you truly cannot see what you have done, then i respectfully ask that you sleep on the couch tonight, only time will tell just how much you have hurt me tonight" i got an eye roll back...
As soon as i closed the door i locked it and just collapsed to the floor, and just started bawling. You thought this bearded fuck was crying like a baby before? Lol that wasn't even the worst of it yet, i just let it out, i knew i needed it. I thought maybe i would cry myself to sleep, but no, that one little thought wouldnt go away. Idk what it was, but it was sorta relentless. After a good while i collected myself off the floor, and went to go blow my nose. Im in the bed now. I cant sleep, i know she cant either since shes been in the shower next to the room im in while ive been typing this. So guys im just feeling a little fucky, i feel like an ass for letting my emotions get to me, but im proud that it felt like i stood up for myself, while being met with passive agression and idk maybe it is maybe it isnt, gaslighting? From someone who i love dearly but didnt feel at all like my fiancee. In the end im hurt, i dont know what my next steps are, or how im even gonna talk to her tomorrow. I dont know if i should consider asking her to leave? This has me fucked up guys, this isnt me asking for advice, just letting it out ya know? like how can she tell me she loves me more than i currently can? like yes i know i tend to ponder if our relationship is worth it easier than she does but shit like this doesn't give me the warm fuzzies. So tell me reddit am i the asshole?
TL;DR fiancee runs out of fuck, i tell her to sleep on the couch.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
1kkyHjvLU8KlPgkvu9aq8vQFOTG49bK9
|
aycusz
|
{
"description": "wanting to be able to hear my tv",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting to be able to hear my TV?
|
Ok. Last night my partner and I were sitting on the couch together in my living room. I was playing Resident Evil 2: Remake and they said that it was very loud, so I lowered the volume from 18 to 14 (roughly 22%). 18-25 is the volume we normally watch TV at depending on the input source. At some point my partner says they need to get on a Skype video call (on their phone) with two other people. I say okay and they accept the call and put it on speaker phone at least 75% of max volume (as always). About 5 or so minutes into the call, this paraphrased exchange takes place:
Partner: God your game is loud. Wanna lower it?
Me: I already lowered the volume earlier.
Partner: Well, I can't hear my call.
Me: I can barely hear my game.
Person in the Skype call: (To my partner) Just use headphones.
Partner: I don't have headphones.
[I reach over and hand them a set of V-Moda Crossfade LP audiophile headphones with memory foam ear cushions]
Partner: I'm not wearing those. They're huge.
My claim that they are noise cancelling doesn't change their mind. Annoyed, I sigh and pause the game then remember that I have a wireless headset lying around. I go get it. Luckily it has a charge and I go back to playing my game until my partner ends their call 25 minutes or so later.
After the call, my partner is still upset with me for being reluctant to lower the volume. I respond that I would have been less reluctant if they had asked nicely instead of barking at me. I also tell them that it's inconsiderate to be on the phone in the living room while people are using the tv and that it's customary to either use headphones or go into another area since phones are easier to move than tvs are. I ask them if they can see how they were being rude and apologize for it. They respond by saying they should have just not come to my house in the first place and go to bed.
The next morning, they are still upset and say that I was the one being rude. I hold my ground and maintain that they were in the wrong for both snapping at me and failing to observe common courtesy behavior. Suffice to say, we don't make up before we both have to go to work. Since we can't agree on this, I defer to Reddit. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
WRONG
|
FlgJKNkkJh8aUe0jKMeh3JUdlxvbeoCx
|
aie6kq
|
{
"description": "feeling that my friends are supportive",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for feeling that my friends are supportive?
|
I like to stream on twitch and so does another one of my friends. The other friend, we'll call him Matt, has a bit of social anxiety so everyone is always nice to him and trying to boost his confidence and what not. I'm all for that and cheer him on with his streaming. We're pretty close in followers and its something for us to talk about.
The trouble begins with my other friends. I constantly get reminded of things such as, "your stream sucks", "Matt is way better than you", etc. They've started to turn streaming into a competition and are rooting for Matt. while trying to push me down. When I try to bring it up that it's kind of annoying that they always push me down and kiss Matt's ass. I'm told that I should stop complaining and just accept he's better.
It's really starting to get on my nerves and I'm thinking about quitting streaming, all the fun has been sucked out of it. I can't talk to them seriously about anything either, since every time I try that they say I'm being a bitch, cuck, etc. I feel like it isn't right for them to rip on me to boost up Matt even with his issues.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
nrI7ilusBjM1M6NTzjqrL9S1TUiR0jM4
|
b9tcz2
|
{
"description": "being to confront my boss/longtime friend about complaining about his job",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I were to confront my boss/longtime friend about complaining about his job?
|
So my current boss is also a friend of mine. I’ve known him for over 15 years before I even got my job with him. I’ve been working my new job for just over a year and and he’s been the boss of the branch ever since it opened about two and a half years ago. It all started out great. Got great hours, decent pay, vacation. But the entire time I’ve worked here, I only hear my boss complaining about how he doesn’t get paid enough, how he falls behind on the mounds of work that gets dropped on him, how he is getting a second job because he claims to not make enough money here (but I know he’s just an irresponsible spender and he makes plenty.) It’s gotten really discouraging for me because I have intentions on moving up in the company but it just makes it so hard to hear him complaining. I know his position isn’t as hard as he’s making it because I know he’s the kind of guy to try to make numerous short cuts that almost always end up backfiring on him and he’s also just a tad bit immature for his age. I’ve wanted to say something to him. But I just don’t know how to do it in a way that won’t offend him. WIBTA if I told him to just keep all his problems to himself or should I just try to keep ignoring it?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
sCEOOVSJqdVQsZiOIWB46sBbCebZa3sA
|
ade3uh
|
{
"description": "pressuring her to unfollow her best friend who was her ex",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for pressuring her to unfollow her best friend who was her ex .
|
It all started when u started hanging out with a girl she being a insecure freak start being freak Everytime I go out with that friend of mine and maybe she was right cause I had a crush on her. I decided that it may ruin our relationship so I stopped talking to that girl. After that she pressurised me to remove and unfollow her from my Instagram account after some argument I accepted her request.
Now she also start contacting her ex and having kind of conversation with him . She don't love her now but that guy is still not over him now I ask the same to remove him she starts arguing and keep fighting. I gave her choice either you have to block me and never contact me again or remove and unfollow him . She choose to block me.
P.S. after sometime she unblocks me and do what I was asking for.
Who is the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
mr7XqZN3tVWO3nwBtiPwFKNOzHhp8KEM
|
a66811
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed at a stranger constantly making conversation on the bus",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed at a stranger constantly making conversation on the bus
|
Hi,
​
I am a 20 year old female. I get the bus to work most days. I am also a massive introvert, and shy. I really enjoy sitting on the bus, looking out the window with my headphones in.
​
So two days ago, i got to the bus stop and there was this old man there (about 75?). He started a conversation which is fine, i don't mind small chit chat, i prefer not to but whatever, it's just being friendly. He asked me if i as going to college, i said no work (I look young for my age). He asked me how old i was and we talked about the weather (lol classic brits). Then I got on the bus, sat by myself at the top, happy days. The next day, yesterday, he was also at the bus stop. Again, he started a conversation, i went along with it. There was also another old woman at the stop he was talking to so i let them do most of the talking and just sat on my phone. Then today i didn't have work but needed to do some christmas shopping so i got the bus again, coincidentally at the same time, and he was there again! I've been getting this bus for over a year and hardly seen him before, but it probably is just coincidence.
​
So today, he started a chat again about his coat, i mostly just say stuff like 'oh really' and 'oh yea that makes sense'. Like, i'm not that engaged in the conversation, just enough to be polite. I would really rather just keep to myself, but i don't want to be rude. Then he asked me if i was sitting upstairs or downstairs on the bus, i said i don't know, whichever is free. He said he was going to sit upstairs with me, i thought he meant like just generally upstairs. So the bus finally came and i was really happy to just sit in quiet and listen to my music. He let me on the bus first (I insist every time he can get on first, but he insists harder that i get on first). So i paid, and went upstairs. The top of the bus was empty except for one guy, i went all the way to the back to try and get away from him and sit in peace (Am i an asshole for doing this, i don't know :/ ). I heard him coming up the stairs so i slank down in my seat whilst turning my ipod on, but he looked around the entire bus, then came all the way to the back despite all the empty seats, and sat on the one right next to me and just carried on talking. He started talking about the history of the place we lived, asking me about where i work, he said he could be a reference for me if i wanted to quit my job??
​
He just droned on the entire way, i really didn't say much, i just looked out the window awkwardly begging for the journey to end because i felt like he was in my personal space (Fair enough if the bus was full and it was one of the only seats, but it was empty!). I just wanted to listen to my music, but felt it would be rude to just shove my headphones in my ears.
​
I just don't want this to happen every time i get the bus, or am i just being an antisocial b\*\*ch? I'm just not very comfortable with it at all. So guys, am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
stmY2sxqWHb6jSgdvV6cyN0OqMe0ynkX
|
b6tgeq
|
{
"description": "stretching out and napping",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I stretched out and napped
|
I was on a flight the other day and it was underbooked, so only the window and the aisle seats were filled, but the middle seats were all empty. I wanted to take a nap and the middle seat looked so inviting, but I didn't want to disturb the other person in my row by taking up two seats. I'm short so I wouldn't have gotten into her seat space at all. Would it have been rude to lie down while I slept? Or was it for the best that I dozed in a seated position?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lN55M8aqh9pDwDdlpXMkVOODhRw0Sf9t
|
asphul
|
{
"description": "not showing my mom my recently completed portfolio",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not showing my mom my recently completed portfolio?
|
Now let me preface this by saying that this is not an angry situation that keeps my up at night, just something that's been in the back of my head for a while.
Now, I am a college senior and I am job hunting like a mad man. In my chosen field, jobs are definitely harder to find than fields like business or engineering. So in my fervor to have the best possible materials to apply with (i.e. resume, demo reel, portfolio), I've decided not to show my mother my portfolio.
This is because, growing up she has been somewhat overbearing in terms of making sure I've done everything I can and need to do. Now don't get me wrong, I love my mother to death and I would not be where I am without her, but ever since middle school she always wants to go over all of my work or all of my materials to make sure they are good enough. I know I was an annoying little shit for a kid, and she has always helped me and I could never discount that.
Now at face value this isn't a bad thing, but I feel like enough is enough. I am a college senior, and she still forces me to show her my resume, my LinkedIn, my everything for her to check over like every two months, even when nothing has changed. She always says "it takes a village" to get things done, which I agree, but I always ask people in the field I'm in like friends and professors for feedback on all my stuff, so I've got that covered.
Again, this isn't an angry or bad situation, I'm just curious as to what y'all think. I of course love my mother and all of her help. But isn't it time for me to sink or swim on my own? I'm sure that will be how it is once I finally have a job and move out, so I'm sure I'm just complaining for no reason. Even so, I wanted to know y'all's thoughts. So, AITA for not having my mom "check over" my job hunting stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NjDDW3Eycxv5M2kstXKJtXgNC63FvXDN
|
allu2z
|
{
"description": "getting angry that people are \"amazed\" at people for doing everyday things whilst disabled",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting angry that people are “amazed” at people for doing everyday things whilst disabled?
|
I’ve noticed some pictures and videos are taken without the person noticing or their consent and honestly that’s creeped me out also because what if someone does that to me one day just because I’m browsing books or some shit? I hate myself, I know I don’t want a photo of me online just because I can ride a horse or order a damn milkshake.
Anyway they’re amazed that disabled people can be people, they’re amazed a limbless person can be a parent, a horse rider doesn’t need to use their legs to ride or because someone is just buying some fucking food from the market! It annoys me, it’s like no one expects us to be able to do anything correctly or we can’t do shit at all.
Some of the comments piss me off because people want to mourn for our problems or give us hugs. Please don’t touch me, you made me feel like shit by telling it like it’s a tragic ending.
I’ll add I’ll understand if it’s someone seeing a machine that is used to help someone (like a small lift or cutlery that stays level no matter how much you use it) because it’s usually more of a “so that’s how it happens!” Reaction.
Anyway, I’m asking because obviously I’m not normal, I don’t know if my annoyance is valid and if the reactions to these things are acceptable because of the difference. I’m worried I’m being out of line and I should be grateful because I guess it’s basically learning.
I don’t know what’s so fascinating about it either so if someone can explain that to me, thank you.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
yM22jPn0rdceoPa101yxCjzeX8qigBFd
|
b40iha
|
{
"description": "telling my brother my mom is manipulative",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my brother my mom is manipulative?
|
This is on mobile so sorry for formatting
About 30 minutes ago I talked to my mom and brother about her targeting me or using me as a vent. This has gone on for about a month and she gets mad at me for most petty reasons. This all occurred because the stress she got from having a newborn baby and the stress has been put on me. It got to the point where I have to give up schoolwork or after school activities for the baby. I have no grudge against the baby nor against my mother but today I broke down to her about her targeting me and why my brothers do the exact same thing in front of her and it doesn’t bother her. Now here is where I have a problem, my younger brother and I both know she is manipulative but my older brother refuses to believe it. I cried and poured my heart out to my older brother and mom and she found a way to make herself look like the victim. She always does this to all my brothers. We cry and talk to her but it all ends up to making her the victim which makes us feel like we failed as sons therefore makes us feel guilty. This gotten out of hand so much that my younger brother has depression from watching his mom cry. And I honestly think it’s starting to affect me.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iyGTf5BU7mr2YUKZpvnbkwsdmdVEYYNS
|
9xzqvy
|
{
"description": "pulling my dog along by his collar",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for pulling my dog along by his collar?
|
So here I am, outside my house cleaning off my deck from snow and leaves and my 11 month old puppy is out with me in my side of the lawn. Suddenly I look up to see he has disappeared into my landlords back yard. So naturally I start calling for him and he knows "come" very well.
So at the point he's just running around like a maniac and I know he's ignoring me. So I walk all the way over and I get close to him and ask him to sit. After a couple tries of him sitting and then running away from me like a game whenever I get close enough, I finally get a hold on his collar and starting marching us back to our side of the house. Obviously he knows he is in trouble because he knows he is not supposed to be in our landlords yard so he's acting ashamed and not cooperating.
He is a pitlab mix and although he isn't big in height, he weighs an awful lot. Enough that I cannot lift him and therefore struggle to get him to move if he doesn't want to. For reference I am a 130 pound 5'4" girl and he is probably about 50 pounds of pure muscle.
So I'm pulling him through the snow and leaves and we are both slipping all the way, and even though I was kind of upset he didn't listen I am by far no animal abuser and I stayed calm as we walked back.
We get to a wall of snow and leaves that he won't budge past. I'm struggling to pull him through it when I hear a man from the road who can see through our yard tree line scream "Don't you be dragging that fucking dog!". I don't say anything and just finally get him onto the driveway pavement and it's much easier for him to walk and I am just crouch walking while holding his collar. We get to our stairs and I let go and he proceeds to go up the stairs and wait at the door. Next time this happens I will for sure be bringing the leash with me, if that makes a difference.
TLDR; AITA for holding my dog by his collar and pulling him along back to the house when he ran away into my neighbors yard and he knew he was in trouble?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
WJvqaNeUvrnv8vYpmsPljQJ8cFe32kE4
|
b1s4zd
|
{
"description": "giving an ex the cold shoulder treatment",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For giving an ex the cold shoulder Treatment
|
A little context: English is not my first language and google translator helped me with this post,me and this girl I'm going to call her from J, we've known each other for about 10 years, and we've always been very close, and two years ago I started a relationship with her, but she lived in another city about 200km where I live, and in all our relationship time I traveled to her city at least once a month to be able to see us (I'm close to finishing college and all my income comes from my internship).
In december J said that she was not feeling comfortable with our relationship at a distance and that she wanted to end it, I found it difficult at first but I managed to understand her point, the distance was long and it was not always that we could see each other, as I commented by less once a month, and she said she did not want us to stop being friends, again I agreed, but a week before she blocked me from all the social networks I use (I do not like to use social networks, so I do not have facebook or instagram, I only use Twitter on Reddit and WhattasApp to communicate with other people), and disappeared for about two months, I asked if something had happened to her to some of our friends in common and everyone responded that there was nothing wrong, which hurt me a lot, because even if we are no longer in a relationship, we finish in a friendly way.
At the end of February Jstarted sending me messages on WhattsApp, so after she blocking me and going MIA for 2 months,I'm no longer interested in keeping the friendship, I'm being an asshole for not responding and giving her the cold shoulder treatment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
g4p12WdM13bqTiqPLOftkz1xqrUDm1Fp
|
apie4o
|
{
"description": "cutting off my close friend because she hurt me mutiple times",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off my close friend because she hurt me mutiple times
|
This is a long one and formatted on mobile, so strap in.
About 6 months ago I joined a new school and instantly became really close to this girl, we will call her F. Now one Thing that is important to know about F is that she's madly in love with another close friend of mine, well call him J. Now me and J are lads, and he confesses a lot of his problems to me. As my friend ship with these two characters developed, I notice that F often pines for my attention. I don't mean to sound full of my self, but she would literally jump into my arms if I didn't answer her for more than 3 seconds
Now our first fight happened when J started talking to her less, she accused me of stealing him and got mad at me. I tried calming her down and tried to reason with her. We didn't talk for about 3 days until she apologized for what she had said. Now at first I thought, what's one fight. I soon realized that I liked her, but I knew she would never go out with me. What made it worse was J became my best friend, we helped each other through problems at home. She continued as of she hadn't done anything
Our next fight happened about 3 weeks later, I'd noticed whenever she didn't have my full attention she'd say "why do you hate me?", and give me puppy eyes. I felt manipulated as even when it was really important that I pay attention to something she said this. I told her to stop and got defensive and said the exact same thing again. This hurt in particular since I was still hiding my feelings for her. Of course she didn't know so I can't blame her for that.
Soon what started to happen F would ask me to tell something to J, And he'd tell me to say something back at her. I was effectively her communication method since he had stopped talking to her at this point. I felt terrible about it and soon starting going oIt and abusing some substances to forget about her. I soon realized how stupid this was and instead told her I liked her, her reaction was less than ideal. She completely shut me out for a week and a half. F told me we couldn't talk anymore as it was too awkward. She tried talking to me after that, but she didn't tell me she wanted to talk to me anymore,
I got confused and just ignored her. And although she probably didn't mean to she hurt me a few times.lastly I wrote her a long letter about how she had made me feel and she didn't really react at all, she just kept trying to talk to me. She had pushed me to drugs though so I told her I didn't want to talk and she stormed out of class.
AITA for cutting her off? I'm still good friends with F.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
j5lErrydLBxylJujoKVRMhcIBVpzqXzg
|
a1prgy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to chip in for a \"group\" D&D rulebook",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to chip in for a "group" D&D rulebook?
|
A few days ago at our last D&D session our current DM suddenly announced he is leaving the country next month for personal reasons (we are all English teachers living abroad). One of the other members of our group is already itching to take over as DM. Today he messaged our group chat asking if we want to chip in 8 dollars to buy a 50 dollar player handbook to use instead of a digital copy. I haven't replied yet but others in the group seem to have no problem with this.
​
Now 8 dollars isn't a big deal to me, if he was asking me to chip in for pizza that'd be no problem, but doesn't it seem tacky to ask for money for a single item that can't really be shared? We're also not the only people he will use it with since he DMs online on the weekends and will probably continue to keep it after a third of our group leaves in Summer. This will 100% end up being his book rather than the group's, therefore he should buy it himself right?
​
It's nothing personal against this guy, I was also asked by the one of the neighboring English teachers in my town to chip in for a "group barbecue" (the grill itself, not the food) which I pretended not to read and ignored it until they forgot about it. What should I do if I'm confronted about it this time? AITA for thinking these "group" purchases are in poor taste and just an all-around dumb idea?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CfTs1eEqeqS8kXa6Urv0cvO5ZxMG5ElH
|
9uln4y
|
{
"description": "telling a friend about another friend's idea",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling a friend about another friend’s idea?
|
I play a very unique MMORPG, and this MMORPG is very easy to make private servers of. Private servers are essentially your own personal version of the game you can customize to your liking, which you can then allow other people to connect to and play with you. Some unique private servers get very popular and can even make money.
My friend told me his idea of making a private server for this game similar to Fortnite. This friend has zero knowledge of programming or running a server, but sounded very willing to put effort into creating this.
I was talking to another friend and ended up telling him my first friend’s idea. This second friend is a very good programmer and thought making this private server would be easy. We talked about how cool and fun this would be if it ever went live, and that was the end of that.
A couple weeks later now my second friend has apparently undertaken this project of making the private server and my first friend caught wind of it and is upset with me. I told first friend he would never have made the server anyways because he lacked the knowledge and didn’t seem ambitious enough to learn how to do it. I also told him maybe he could just work on it with my second friend and be a co-owner or something.
Am I the asshole for telling my second friend about first friend’s idea? I didn’t tell him like I was trying to be sneaky or something in order to make money, I just told him how fun this idea would be and I guess he believed it enough to start working on it. I didn’t tell him where I had got the idea from either.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
h5ARBk7g5ZYiZu9S7K9UnftPO4f7QRDt
|
b97y72
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my girlfriend when she wants me to pay back the money she spent on me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend when she wants me to pay back the money she spent on me?
|
So for a long, LONG, time, my girlfriend did not have a job as I had a really good one with a high income. I worked a lot but always made time to see her and such. We would always go out to eat at fine restaurants around us, go to shopping trips, travel etc. when she had money, she’d pay her share of whatever but when she didn’t I always picked up the slack. At times when money was rough for me, I still paid for things that I shouldn’t have and had to work extra hours to make up for it. I didn’t mind though, I made enough to the point where I was worry free.
Our relationship is not the type where the guy is expected to pay for everything, we’ve made an agreement from day one to be a team, pull the weight 50/50 and that’s it. I payed for mostly everything though and never said a word to her about paying me back or doing something equivalent of the money I spent. But recently my girlfriend finally got her dream job and it’s been nice because nowadays, I can relax while i shoot her a text to bring home some takeout or do something of that sort and finally rest my mind at the fact of me not having to pay for as much anymore.
So last Friday, I went to the convenience store and got myself a can of snuff, but I forgot my wallet. I went back to the car and asked my girlfriend if I could use her card. She looked at me, sighed, rolled her eyes and said “please just pay me back...” in a very disgusted tone as if I pestered her about it all day. my reaction was “are you serious?? Okay.” And I slammed the door shut. I walked in and paid for my can of snuff and walked back to the car. She said “what was that about?” I said to her “pay you back? Seriously? Do you not remember a time where I’d take you to the Cheesecake Factory and blow $170 on both of us and never asked for a dime?” She looked at me and muttered out “yeah”. I came back with “it was $4, if you’re that worried about it I’ll pay you back.” She didn’t want the money back, she understood that she was wrong and it was over and done with.
After that, hasn’t happened again since.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
zxXEwubqi9Sx0EQwXA8LouwfG99VIVcC
|
b2rbnf
|
{
"description": "telling my house that I didn't appreciate the impromptu bbq",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I told my house that I didn't appreciate the impromptu bbq
|
So I live with 6 guys (one of which is my bf). This evening my bf and I come home from dinner to like 10 more ppl in our house. I know all of them by sight, but don't really know them know them.
Apparently during the day, two of them had planned this bbq, but nobody told me. They're generally a bit loud but nothing that I can't escape by going downstairs to our basement room. I kinda want to tell them that I didn't really want to come home to a full house (think college house small-college guy loud) and that I would have appreciated them telling me. I had a test and a quiz today, and I guess I just wanted a quiet night to relax and watch tv in the living room. So WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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2gBk5yqO4966vPK6AccV3dy3uPy8MDKB
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b5w1jh
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{
"description": "asking in laws to help with childcare costs",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for asking in laws to help with childcare costs?
|
I’ll try to keep this brief, basically I am a single mother with an infant daughter. The father and myself are both still students and the majority of childcare costs including rent is being payed by my parents and the rest by myself.
I’ve asked the father if he would feel able to contribute financially and he said no as he needs to focus on his studies. I asked if his parents might consider helping, as they also are very involved. He said he wouldn’t stop me asking but that it would be a horrible thing to do.
I should add my parents are quite elderly and hoping to retire next year, and my inheritance is being spent on a house for myself and my child, this is why I’m trying to re-hash my finances.
His mum and I text regularly and I sent her a message saying verbatim-
‘I was also wondering if maybe at some point I could talk about *childs name* finances with you guys
Just that now all the savings are going into getting us a house and my parents will be retiring it’s time for me to reassess them
I totally get it if you guys don’t want to have a part in that side of things though and it won’t effect anything if the answer is no :) x I just thought it might be worth asking ‘
She immediately stopped texting back, the father is furious that I’ve brought up money and made everyone uncomfortable, and basically I just feel terrible for upsetting our family dynamic.
Not so much AITA but how bad is this, and how can I try to salvage things without appearing money grabbing and rude. I truly was only thinking about how I can keep above water with my daughter.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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diV2PHrfX4pdVrn1Ir8KdRAN1LMExG9w
|
ardbie
|
{
"description": "not wanting my parents to adopt",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my parents to adopt?
|
I am an adult with adult siblings. My parents (Ps) are in their late 50s (bio father & stepmom). One retired, one nearing retirement. All children from prior relationships were adults when they married.
When my spouse and I started to try for a baby, we were open about the process with my Ps. Around the same time we started trying for a bio child, we also looked into becoming foster parents but decided to wait. We talked about our experiences with the foster system to my Ps. Unbeknownst to us, after learning that we were taking foster classes, my Ps also began foster classes. After a year, we conceived. My Ps were the first to know. A few weeks later, my Ps accepted two high needs foster children under 7.
I have actively tried to make the FC feel welcomed but this process has been very difficult. The FC require several appointments a week, specialized school, school, and lots of assistance with ADLs. They also have behavioral problems. My Ps seem overwhelmed providing care to the FC. D is frequently stressed out and angry. I know these traits are related to parenting. I enjoyed my relationship with D as an adult because these traits faded and we became very close. Now these traits are back and it’s very uncomfortable. My siblings make comments about D’s stress.
M is distracted and inattentive. M is very emotional about the FCs and the process. M dumps these feelings on me. I want to be supportive but I decided not to become a F parent because I didn’t feel ready and now the emotions are imposed on me. I have tried to establish boundaries but my wishes are ignored. With therapy, M is an emotional wreck.
Both Ps are exhausted and don’t seem to have an agreed parenting approach. Frequently one will undermine how the other chooses to handle a situation. It is uncomfortable to watch this conflict unfold.
Now, FC may not be reunified with their bio Ps. My Ps want to adopt them. We will find out if this is going to happen at around the same time my child is due. For years, my Ps repeatedly brought up how much they wanted to be part of my future C’s life. I started looking at homes in my Ps’ neighborhood, in part, because they wanted to help with day & afterschool care, have random family dinners, and be close to my C. My siblings received so much help from my Ps with their C, and I saw the bond my Ps created with my nieces and nephews during this solo grandP time. I was looking forward to my C having a really close relationship with my Ps.
Now when my Ps bring up spending time with my C, I do not feel comfortable with the idea of leaving my C in Ps’ care. I am worried about my C’s safety because my Ps are constantly distracted and exhausted. I worry about them missing a pickup or providing sufficient care because they are mentally and physically drained. I don’t want my C to know their grandPs as the stressed, angry and sad individuals they have become. I want my C to have a relationship with the amazing grandPs that my nieces and nephews once knew.
I am worried about my C’s safety because the FC have a history of aggression. The FC are constantly testing boundaries and one is outright cruel. One FC enjoys seeing others in pain. For example, FC held the other FC’s head underwater during a bath.
I am worried about the FC. Simply, my Ps don’t have the greatest medical history. I don’t know what level of care my Ps can provide to FC in the future.
I am worried about my relationship with Ps. I don’t want to hurt my Ps. I am afraid of the inevitable day I have to tell them that I am uncomfortable with them providing solo care for my C, there will be no sleepovers at their house, and that we’re not moving.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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wDjNjHKvKmOj4Am19a7LyuiSU5z5YcpZ
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ayziv3
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{
"description": "telling my roommate her boyfriend couldn't stay over",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I told my roommate her boyfriend couldn’t stay over?
|
So basically my relationship with my roommate isn’t great. We don’t have much in common and she’s messy, inconsiderate and kind of annoying to me. But despite this stuff I try to be a decent person and not do anything rude to her and just get through the rest of this semester (we’re both in college and I’m moving out at the end of the semester).
Anyway, the reason I don’t want her boyfriend staying over is because she invited him without telling me he was coming after I’ve asked her to let me know. Also, she spent nearly the entire day cooking for him in our (very small) shared kitchen so I wasn’t able to use it for hours. She also let him stay at our apartment all day watching Netflix.
I’m planning on basically saying that she can’t invite him over if this is how they’re gonna behave. Also I’d like to know if there is anything I can do legally to get him out if she invites him again.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
HaSIt7PviIJZllTO5yKbP6uCaHk6Uo6f
|
b5z73n
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend over her wedgie fetish",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over her wedgie fetish
|
Im making a throwaway account because i don't want anyone to know this and this has had a really big emotional toll on me so please be respectful in the comments. I want to know who's in the wrong but please be respectful when doing so. So i've been dating my girlfriend for a few months now and i really felt like she was the one for me. I thought we were getting married. I remember when we were dating she used to talk about how wedgies were funny and she would give me them a lot. I did it to her a couple times back and i felt it was weird she seemed to enjoy them. She would even ask me to give her them too which was even weirder. Wedgies are supposed to be a prank, they hurt and are embarrassing, definitely not enjoyable to receive one. She was giving me wedgies every time we hung out and it was getting really really annoying and i'd tell her to stop. She'd calm for a bit but then revert to it. Eventually we're hanging out and she leaves to go the bathroom. I go on her computer to look up flight tickets or something and i see a closed tab of a youtube compilation of guys getting wedgies. There was also one of guys getting wedgies on google images and thats when i realized that wedgies are some sort of weird fetish. This whole time i felt i've been violated. SHe'd only did it a couple times in public in front of my close friends or hers so it wasn't that big of a deal but now knowing she gets sexual pleasure out of it I feel like she also cheated on me when she gave my guy friends wedgies too. I told her i figured out what is going on and that her wedgie fetish is disgusting and degerneate and i can't be with someone who gets turned on by that. She starts crying and she's on her knees begging me to not leave her and give her another chance and to find a way to work things out. I leave and everyday i get missed calls and texts which I've been ignoring. I'm considering maybe giving her a second chance but idk. AITA here? all my friends think so and her friends have been harassing me nonstop, i had to block them all on social media. Should i give me gf another chance or did she violate me? I really feel if the gender roles were swapped I would be considered the asshole
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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RTs8WgcBh2kIWne9qxlWeS2KiYmxbp27
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b3lreg
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my mom for giving my grandparents money that came from me indirectly",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my mom for giving my grandparents money that came from me indirectly.
|
My mother asked me for 800$ for a trip to Mexico that she's planning, I gave it to her but recalled her saying that it would be around 600$ before, I attributed the rise in cost to changing ticket prices and went on with my day. Today, she gave each of my grandparents 100$ each since they're leaving soon and told them it was on my behalf. This is when it clicked for me, she asked for an extra 200$ for the trip in order to give it to my grandparents. I have no problem giving my grandparents money, and have payed for them plenty of times, but the way my mother went about this pissed me off. So, am I the asshole for getting mad about this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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JwiPlJiU5hQD7n17TjAHj5FWVzeRJHlq
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9zszkq
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{
"description": "prefering to watch videos while eating instead of talking with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for prefering to watch videos while eating instead of talking with my dad?
|
A little context, before high school everyone in my family ate together, my mom, my dad, my brother and me, it was nice. When I started highschool that all changed, my schedule was different than in middle school, they got hom before me and ate the three of them, they I will get home and ate by myself.
I have to admit it was really lonely, I even start eating less because of it, but I started to get used to it.
When I entered university, my schedule became more irregular so I ate at my own hours, I still talked to my family in other things than eating, and I started to watch youtube videos as I ate.
At first it was so I wouldn't get bored, and now its part of my life style, I usually save some interesting videos for my eating time, it kinda makes ne excited like "oohh yeah the new shane dawson video, I cant wait to get home and have dinner". It also has become kind of a "me" time because now my family is wanting to start to do everything together, and thats ok for me, but I still want to have my time alone.
So I notice that when I'm about to have dinner for myself and I set up my cellphone to start watching videos, my dad suddenly appears and starts making talk with me, he starts talking when I have my videos on, so I have to pause them to answer, this has became a problem because it's really annoying, the chat that he wants to make aren't that interesting, plus after eating I can always go upstairs and talk about whatever he wants to talk then.
He really seems annoyed that I eat watching videos, and he demands I stop doing that while he is talking to me in the table, he says that im addicted to this "new technology", even when Im only watching videos just when Im eating (plus I have catched him several times texting while driving, thing I never do, but somehow that's less important than eating while watxhing videos.)
I have tried talking to him, that I just want to eat alone and we cab talk later, but he doesnt wants that.
Am I being an asshole? I know that of "enjoy your time with your parents before is too late", but I feel like I spend plenty of time with them, I just want my own time eating alone.
Tl;dr: my dad gets mad that I want to watch videos while eating, i get mad that he doesnt get that i just want to ear alone
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
MlL9dEpJXSCb6zZVfIa19cB02KtpmAnO
|
amcqpp
|
{
"description": "not accepting the help from my girlfriend on my abusive living situation",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not accepting the help from my girlfriend on my abusive living situation?
|
TL;DR at the bottom
(This is an older story that is being told from the present from which the story was taking place unless said otherwise) (please let me know if older stories are not allowed on this sub and I will take it down)
Key things to note: - I am 15 and living with my grandparents.
- My mom is still very much in my life
- grandparents live in town A whereas my mom lives in town C (theres a town in between)
- I have had run ins with dcf (not sure what DCF actually stands for but basically its a kid protection thing) many times for many different reasons so I know how things with them go
-my mom has about 6 people living with her in a smallish house
- my girlfriend knows most happenings in my life but not all
-I'm currently in a therapy/school tardiness program
-DCF can and will take me away if they say both my mom and grandparents unfit to care for me
So a bit on my grandparents. They were once super nice and chill, maybe a bit overprotective but I didn't really notice until much later. Once I did notice I tried very hard to respectfully ask for better curfew hours (was 5pm -asking 8pm) and a bit more freedom when it comes to going places with friends. But they didn't really budge and I got super depressed and rebellious so I went from asking to demanding and just leaving when they would yell or scream horrible and self esteem damaging things to me. This started when I was 12 or 13
They turned physical a bit later. Throwing things and hitting me. Now cue my girlfriend I started dating when I turned 15.
I told her a little about what's happening but not everything because I didn't want to freak her out but I did say I was taking measures to protect myself like staying at the library during times I'm not at school and taking the bus to my moms house on the weekends. She was worried understandably but I couldn't do much because I couldn't drop out of school in the middle of the year and I needed the money my grandparents were receiving for me from the state so taking legal actions weren't possible either.
One day my grandma was going crazy and when I tried to calm her down she pulled a knife on me and threatened me and I was freaked
I ran and texted my worker and my girlfriend and then SHE freaked.
My worker wasn't answering so my girlfriend calmed me down but now she's pissed about it and doesn't want me living there anymore
I explain why I can't leave and that I'll be more careful
She wasn't taking none of it and gave me an ultimatum
Get DCF in or we are breaking up
I chose breaking up because in theory I only needed another year and I would've been out and with my mom with no hassle
She later still got DCF in and told my worker and school what happened but I managed to get myself out before any damage was done
TL;DR My girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to let DCF into my adusive situation (and still did it behind my back)
The parties in question are My girlfriend or me (in case you were confused)
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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kBhKfkeUnaeNk5lU0Q8KJnZpbAhOKi4t
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acyjvr
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{
"description": "being upset that my boyfriend didn't reply to my text to watch videos instead",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset that my boyfriend didn't reply to my text to watch videos instead
|
Clarification
My boyfriend is out of the country. We message each other daily. Yesterday night, he got home and messaged that he missed me. I messaged him back, but didn't reply for 30 min. because he was listening to some singers (he was also with his friend). For some reason, this irritated me. He uses his phone a lot and I'm assuming he just saw the notification and just swiped up to reply to me later.
Background: Early in our relationship, he said that it bothers him when he is texting someone and they reply even a minute late. (A little unreasonable, because but whatever, that's his thing) So I try to reply to him as soon as I see the conversation. Like I'll message good morning as soon as I wake up. I noticed he has this habit of not messaging me right away even though he has this stipulation, so I talked to him about it and he said he will do it. And he has been.
I understand he is out of the country and I try to be understanding. Usually there was something going on and I get it, he can't be on his phone 100% while he is with family/friends/etc. But yesterday, that small 30 min. seemed deliberate.
Anyways, I tried not to let it bother me. But it was obvious it was during our video chat that night so I ended it early and said I just wanted to sleep.
AITA? Tbh I just want confirmation that I am so that I can attribute this to anxiety and be done with it. But I sometimes overthink things and I'm curious to see what other people think
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
lrW3FVJBs5ZhMZR3OcUydDGF8CeOTCv3
|
ajilxw
|
{
"description": "leaving my older sister alone at home",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for leaving my older sister (f24) alone at home ?
|
I have been living with my sister for about month or so due to her boyfriend and her splitting. I truly didn’t mind due to during a one like this I would assume you need support. I supported her and eventually I saw her boyfriend and her sleeping over at our house and calling each other by “babe” or “baby”. I don’t want to force her to tell me anything about her love life. I assume she is finally doing better. I needed to be able too leave anyway due to the bed I was sleeping in was bringing me great pain in the position I was in. I have a inclining bed so it makes it easier to sleep in a certain angle so it won’t hurt me when I get out of bed due to my double mastectomy and my back problem. Not only that I have a surgery coming up this Monday for reconstruction and I wouldn’t be able to get out of that bed. Was I the asshole to leave suddenly? She knew I was finally packing up to go. My mother said I left too suddenly but I was desperate for my own bed.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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yjhZPi9YPgWdMiJOftxYEfP0ErHPEsSu
|
ab1vlk
|
{
"description": "flaking on a visit",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for flaking on a visit?
|
I was going to drive to my hometown with my dog to visit friends for new year's and planned to stay at two of my best friend's houses over the weekend and new year's.
I caught a cold and feel like shit with sinus headaches so I told them I'm not going to drive for 6 hours because I'm not going to be a grumpy dick when I get there. Honestly, seeing these guys that I've known over 20 years would change my attitude when I arrive.
AITA for flaking and roadtrip in the morning or say fuck it and visit in a month or two when I feel better?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
BYHiQIFwLnjFk9J9sBgPoJ5x3JhDyaG8
|
a31n9i
|
{
"description": "feeling annoyed at my best friend for getting closer to my boyfriends ex",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling annoyed at my best friend for getting closer to my boyfriends ex?
|
TL;DR: my best friend leaves me and our friends on a night out to go to a part with my bf ex despite having a deep chat with me early that night how that wouldn’t be the case.
Sorry for the rant.
​
A bit of background. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years, all good and happy and this situation isn’t to do with him. I only knew his ex through my friend Jenny but had never spoken to her before going out with my bf. My best friend is a terrible drunk who tends to seek out a party on any of our nights out together. Usually meaning leaving me and our friends at a pub so she can go to a flat and not get home until 10am on Sunday with people she mostly only associates with at these after parties. This has been the case for at least 3 years and she regrets it each time.
On Saturday, me, Kelly and 2 others were out for her sisters birthday. Her sisters friends were not free to come out so it’s me, Kelly, her sister and our other friend. Had a few drinks at mine then headed down town for a few more drinks at the pub. Whilst at mine Kelly got a call that another friend who was coming back from another night out and would meet us down the road. Along with her is my bf ex who wanted to get a lift back too.
My bf ex isn’t in our close friend group but over the last 2 1/2 years a few of my friends have got closer to her through nights out and social media. That is absolutely fine but her being out with us always makes me feel nervous. Mostly I just feel uncomfortable when she is around due to my friends acting extra friendly to her so I almost feel excluded. It just makes me feel awkward. They do know this and I know it’s something I have to work on. When she is around I can chat away with her in a group and be civil as she has never done anything to me but it all feels false and I hate not being able to be genuine.
Anyway, before we left mine and Kelly said what the plan was as she knows I get a bit anxious when she’s around (as I don’t know how to act). I explain that it’ll be fine but it’s just a bit shit that you will probably end up with her most of the night. She denies this and explains how I’m her best friend and she wouldn’t speak to her if she didn’t want me too. That is totally not my place and way to dramatic for my liking so obviously said no to that.
Then as we get down the road and having a laugh together, my friend and my bf ex arrive and instantly my best friend is joint to her hip. Kelly is wasted at this point and almost seems like his ex is clinging to her as she kept getting them shots. Within about 25 minutes they have left us all to go to an after party when it’s only 11pm. I was left to look after her younger sister, who was very drunk, all night while she pied my calls and ignored me when I watched her walk away.
​
Her point is that she is so drunk that she doesn't know what it is that makes her behave like this, although they do still speak occasionally when sober but are not the type of friends to meet up for cup of tea etc. She apologised to me last night for leaving on the night but never mentioned anything about my bf ex and her. I know people can be friends with who they want but it’s almost like they just became closer after I got with my bf.
​
Am I the asshole? I don’t know if my feelings are justified.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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4bvxOnuv4QnvfESpoSHYSpt5k6qqMfSE
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afxqwt
|
{
"description": "not wanting to sit in rush hour traffic for happy hour",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to sit in rush hour traffic for happy hour?
|
I live in a major metro area that has terrible traffic. I work downtown and typically have a 15-20 minute commute from my house, which is south of downtown.
My main friend group here is made up of my best friend from high school (BF) and another good friend from high school (Other Friend, or OF). OF also works downtown, 2 blocks away from my office. OF typically takes the light rail from his apartment to work.
BF and her husband recently bought a new house in a development 10-20 minutes outside of the eastern suburb she works in. With no traffic, it typically takes them 35-40 minutes to drive downtown. They do not live close to public transportation of any form.
The issue: we all make plans for the occasional happy hour on Mondays, since BF works 4 days a week and always has Mondays off. The last time BF met us for happy hour, it took her 45 minutes to drive downtown, going the opposite way of rush hour traffic. She has asked that myself and OF meet her halfway for the next happy hour, since it took her 45 minutes to drive due to traffic. I said no, due to the fact that it would take OF and I 30-45 minutes to drive half the distance, since we would be driving with rush hour traffic. Since BF doesn’t work Mondays, BF’s drive was only 5-10 minutes longer than usual, and OF and I both work downtown, I’m of the opinion that BF should be the one to meet up with us. AITA for saying no?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
xCREsH1oEVDOxRY52agJx4TrcueaNy3N
|
b5fuqi
|
{
"description": "cutting my friend off for getting a girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For cutting my friend off for getting a girlfriend?
|
so i used to be friends with this one dude, and if we're being honest i did start to develop feeling for him, but by the time this happened they were almost completely gone anyway, i introduce him to this friend i used to sort of have a romantic thing for (we made it clear we liked each other but never actually dated) and they started dating. My problem with this situation besides the fact hes 17 and shes 14 (i'm 15 for reference) is when they first started hanging out she was showing interest in our mutual friend and his long-time best friend and sort of manipulating him, and manipulating the rest of us to think her life situation is way worse than it is (its not perfect but i know from knowing her that its not that bad, also she had faked photo evidence of "abuse" when it was just a picture of water with red-food dye all over the floor) and he was shit talking her a lot to me when they supposedly started dating talking about how he knows she a liar and all that. my main problem is that this guy is super nice and tries to help everyone and tells them just what they wanna hear and i'm worried hes dating her just to make her happy. Its even to the point where they are secret about it because they know it will hurt the friend mentioned earlier. I mainly stopped talking to him because besides wanting to avoid the situation he hardly made an attempt to reach out anyway and i would always have to start the conversation, though i do admit i was a bit childish and hurt that they didn't tell me
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azvcgu
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"description": "asking my mom's best friend not to visit her anymore",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
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WIBTA For asking my mom's best friend not to visit her anymore?
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Some background is required ...
My mother (81) lives in an retirement facility (not a nursing home). For most of her retirement years, she has suffered from debilitating pain as a result of her years as a nurse, lifting patients, suffering sever back injuries, etc. She no longer drives. I live only a few blocks away and visit her at least a few times a week and talk on the phone every single day. Once a week, I take her shopping to the pharmacy and to the grocery store for snacks. Sometimes she asks me to take her to the liquor store even though she knows this will start an argument. I REFUSE to take her to the liquor store. If it was up to her, she would drink all day, not eat and end up being nasty and in poor health - not just because of lack of nutrition, but also risk of falling (she broke a hip a few years back).
She will not admit to the possibility that she is an alcoholic, so it's not even worth getting into it. As long as she doesn't have access to alcohol, life is great. But if she has a chance to get her hands on it, she will and I end up having to take it away from her. I have a full cabinet of liquor that I have taken away from her in the past (my husband and I don't really drink, so it just sits there).
Her best friend (I'll call her Bertha) lives about an hour drive away. They have been best friends since college. Bertha is the nicest, sweetest lady you'd ever meet. She would do anything for you. Bertha still drives and is in great physical health. Unfortunately, my mother can be very pushy and obstinate. So when Bertha comes down for a visit, they will go out for lunch together and then go shopping. My mother easily convinces Bertha into taking her to the liquor store even though Bertha knows she has a problem with alcohol. I have spoken to Bertha about this before, but when it comes to my mother, Bertha just can't say "no." She's afraid of starting an argument, so she just gives in.
Unknown to me, Bertha visited my mother a couple of weeks ago. Yesterday, I brought my mother some groceries because she hasn't felt good lately and just didn't feel like going out shopping. As I was putting her groceries away (usually she does it herself), I discovered 6 bottles of alcohol in her room. These were all purchased when Bertha had come to visit her. She had 3 bottles of wine, gin, whiskey and vodka. All the hard liquor and one of the wine bottles were half empty.
Of course, an argument ensued. Now I know why she hasn't being feeling well. This, because I also discovered she hasn't been to the dining room at her facility in nearly two weeks. She's only been eating the free muffins and bagels from the snack shop in the facility. And I can only assume these are the only bottles. There may have been ones she already emptied an got rid of.
With no access to alcohol, my mom lives a pretty decent life, eats properly and is pleasant to be around.
So, WIBTA asshole if I asked Bertha not to visit her anymore? I don't know what else to do.
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alrum2
| null |
AITA/ Is it right to confront my mentally ill father-in-law for being an ass and by that possibly cause harm to the family
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​
My husband and I got married half a year ago and have been dating for 5 years. Since I come from a very abusive alcoholic family, I idealized his family and thought that their issues are small and that they are really there for eachother. We got along very well for years, even though I dind't really like my father-in-law (let's call him Carl) because of his sexist and racist attitudes.
Two days after we announced our engagement my father-in-law threw a temper tantrum, he was angry because we were all talking about the wedding to much. He said that he is sick of this "romantic movie wedding bullshit" and made fun of me for wanting to order a wedding cake instead of making it my self. My husband and I have not asked anybody for money or help for the wedding, we paid for everything ourself.
My mother-in-law defused the situation, I was too shocked to answer.
I cried a lot, because I had planed on asking him bring me to the alter because I didn't want my drunk father to do it. But it get's better.
Carl knew that my family was a giant mess and that my dad had just been diagosed with stage 3 lung cancer.
A few days later, I was shopping in my mother-in-laws store when he came in. My husband and I gave me a quick look and we went to the back of the store to avoid him, that did not work. He followed us together with my mother-in-law, he started rambling and I thought he was going to appoligize. That's not what happed, he doubled down, started yelling and called me spoiled. Again we had not ask anything from him, we didn't want a single fucking dollar.
He was really, really mean and nobody stuck up for me. I was trying not to cry but failed. I thought that I could join a whole family after my broken one, and it hurt just as much that nobody, my husband included, stuck up for me as Carl insulting me.
He hasn't appilogized.
I wanted Carl to stay away from the wedding, but my husband begged me to let him come, to give him an other chance, because he is mentally ill.
Apparently he was allways this way, he did shit like this all the time. Just not in front of me, the whole family told me to get over it, because he was "stressed" and "that's just how he is".
I cried for two weeks, because I felt like I lost my family. This sounds drastic, but I lost my respect for Carl, my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law.
I caved and let him come to the wedding, a disision that I really regret, it almost ruined the day for me to see him and to have to put on a fake smile.
After the wedding we droped some thing at their house and my mother-in-law begged us to stay for dinner, so we did. My husband helped his sister with some shopping and I set there with my mother-in-law.
It was like nothing had happed, we bonded over the pain of losing an imperfect father to cancer(she lost her dad last year). We sat at the kitchen table and cried together.
In walks Carl. I waned to get up and leave, but he was standing in the way. He asked what we were talking about and then, I shit you not, told me that my dad "sure has a lot of secrets, because that's were lung cancer comes from". I wanted to throw my cup at him, but I just froze. In family of orgigin being direct is dangerous, so it's really hard for me.
I got up shacking and left, silent and crying.
Again, nobody stood up to him. Noone called him out. I screamed at my husband how he could let him treat me like this, he said that his father never takes resposibiltiy and when you put him under pressure he only takes it out on his wife and daughter later.
I still want to rip his head of and everytime I try to talk with my husband about it he gets frustrated.
Apart from this issue our marrige is great, we are happier together than I thought I could possibly ever be. But this is bound to come again someday, because I won't visit Carl, I won't let Carl visit us and I sure as hell won't let him see my future kids.
My husband tells me to get over it because, technically Carl was nice to me for 5 years and only an asshole for maybe half an hour total. I think he his wrong about this and I would risk a big fight. And this time I don't give a shit.
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aetip9
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{
"description": "telling my friend to stop eating all the fries we cooked for our group of friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
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AITA for telling my friend to stop eating all the fries we cooked for our group of friends?
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(TL;DR at bottom) So once a month, my friends and I cook dinner together. There's 6 of us who usually participate. Half of us cook, the other half cleans up. Today, we decide to make hamburgers and fries. One of my friends decided they wanted to eat baked potatoes instead. That's cool, we got plenty of potatoes for her to cook with, no worries. She decides to cook 3 potatoes. She was also one of the ones assigned to help cook, so she and I did most of the cutting of potatoes for fries for the rest of us.
We get our first batch done. We eat a few, make sure they taste alright, no problems, maybe a little more salt. I go help my other friend who's cooking the hamburger meat. I check back every once in a while on the 2nd batch, and notice that friend who wanted baked potatoes is still snacking on the fries. I let it go, because well, they're fries and she helped cut them.
I run to the restroom real quick, come back and she's still snacking on the fries. Then it hits me that, hey, she's got 3 potatoes waiting for her in the oven still, so like wtf? So now I'm keeping an eye on her because a) the fries are for everyone else, and b) she's cooking an alternative meal that equates to the hamburger and fries.
I hint that she's got potatoes waiting for her in the oven, so slow down on the fries. Didn't want to seem too forward about it, but I don't think she took the hint. We got a little down time in between cooking, and she goes back to eat more of the fries. By this time, about a third of the 1st batch is probably gone now, with most of that being her eating them. I decide to confront her and basically said "Can you stop eating the fries? You've got your baked potatoes and we need to have enough fries for everyone else to eat with their hamburgers." I walk away because I always feel awkward having to confront people, plus I felt a little guilty for having to do so.
A few minutes later, she walks up to me and says that the baked potatoes are only substituting the hamburger, not the fries, so she's allowed to eat the fries. I didn't say anything back because I felt like I was in the right for calling her out, and also that I thought that reasoning was stupid since she's cooking 3 potatoes. Maybe if it was just 1, but 3?
Anyway, she didn't eat anymore until after everyone got their fries and there was less than a handful left over up for grabs, so I guess my message was understood. But she did disappear for the rest of the time, so I'm pretty sure I upset her and she didn't want to stick around me anymore. We've only exchanged passing glances since, so idk how she's feeling about it. I feel bad since she did help cut them, but on the other hand, I feel like she ate more than enough to compensate for that role. AITA?
Sidenote: another friend didn't like the fries. Flat out said they were undercooked and raw (uneven cooking since some fries were cut larger, but all were definitely cooked enough to be edible; I reckon she's used to conventional fried fries only). Literally convulsed and spat out the fry into the trash and decided to eat cereal instead. Kind of still pissed about that, like bitch why don't you put it in the oven and cook it then? And did you have to be so fucking loud about your displeasement? Ungrateful and disrespectful. Anyway, just wanted that off my chest. Anyone who has cooked for others will understand how I felt. u __ u thankfully, everyone else enjoyed the fries.
TL;DR - friend group makes dinner of hamburger & fries, 1 friend decides to make alternative meal of 3 baked potatoes using same potatoes used for fries. Friend eats 1/3 of 1st batch of fries. I call her out and tell her to stop since they're for everyone else whose eating hamburgers. She says her baked potatoes only substitute the hamburger and should be able to eat fries. I called bullshit, and she doesn't get to eat anymore until everyone else gets to grab their fries first. Friend hasn't talked to me since and disappeared for the rest of the time except to come eat. I feel bad now.
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axe7oq
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"description": "telling a mentally handicapped customer to calm down",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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AITA for telling a mentally handicapped customer to calm down?
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Ok so. I work in customer service at a grocery store. Im the manager of the front end and i am not “technically” allowed on a register. We all know how these things go, we start getting lines so i eventually pull someone with a large cart over so i can make the lines move faster. As im pulling her over, someone else sees and brings their stuff over as well and starts sitting it on the belt. I let them know politely that i had already pulled someone so they would have to go first. I just get grunted at and shrugged it off. Then, the customer starts pulling my closed sign off which i DONT want because if my boss saw me on a register i would get in trouble and i dont want a line to build up on my register. I tell them to please leave the sign up and here the comments come.. “i was here first”, “Looks open to me” ect. The customer also didnt put a divider into the lane so i started ringing up their things on the original customers i pulled over order. THE CUSTOMER FREAKS OUT. hollering about how im not paying attention and at this point im getting irritated and say “im sorry, it was a mistake.” after the first customer pays, i ring up their stuff as fast as possible just trying to get them away from me. The last straw was them flipping out for me going so fast and they cant see what they are ringing up as. This person shows no sign of disability (not that they are all visible) but i had no idea of who i was dealing with just the fact that they were yelling at me and creating a scene at this point. I finally snapped and said “you need to calm down or go to a different register” and her caretaker had came up RIGHT before i said this and all hell broke loose. i was called ableist and told i had no customer service skills. they called my manager and corporate and i am feeling really guilty because i know the person probably had no idea what they were doing was rude. i was just promoted and am now waiting to be called into my managers office.
AITA?
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adgsz5
| null |
AITA? Relationship Drama (6yrs & 3kids)
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AITA
A little back story- Been with my boyfriend 6 years. He's the stay at home dad while I get my degree. Not the problem, stay at home parents work just as hard as the one getting shit taken care of. At least most of the time.. We've been fighting a lot lately and seriously need counseling. In the meantime, He's convinced that I'm needy and I need to be medicated, mainly because he explains his perspective of our relationship to other people that then tell him what he directs them to say. He has diagnosed mental problems and suggests that I'm the crazy one that "just hasn't been diagnosed." I handle every bill, every errand, I cook, I clean, I even work out time to play video games with the guy and give him attention. All I ask from him is that he cleans house while he watches the kids and shows me affection. The house is a constant pigsty and our two year old is gonna be three before they are potty trained because he seldom does anything long term with the kids. I admit to being overly clingy due to the feeling that he cares more about what his friends think about him than I do. I've read text message conversations he's had about me. He makes me sound like a lunatic. I just want someone to care about me and help me with my endless to do list.
AmItheAsshole- I stay up for 4 hours playing video games with him and finally crash right after midnight. I partially wake up from a light massage that doesn't last long before it turns into something else. I've told him many times that this pisses me off because it wakes me up and I have trouble getting back to sleep. I've told him that he needs to get that shit done either before video games or a movie or during it. Whatever, just not when I'm tired as shit. I tried to sleep through it this time. Didn't work, but I still tried to sleep after the fact and woke up to him watching porn taking care of round two by himself. I don't mind him watching porn, as long as I don't know about it. Caught, he suggests that he'd rather have sex, he just thought I'd be mad. I call bullshit. Anyway, I ignore him cause I'm pissed. He starts with round two. Yeah, he only thinks with the one head. Interrupted by our youngest waking up. Whatever. I let him know I'm upset and remind him how to handle it next time. Then I let him know he was being shitty at showing affection. He then explained that he was hot, which is why he was laying so far away. I snapped and started complaining about how he needed to either keep the house clean or show me affection because I couldn't handle him without at least one of them. He indicates that he'll clean. He says it all the time, he seldom does. I stress that I want the affection. He tells me I need to be medicated. Is it wrong of me to want a hug when I'm upset? A simple hand on the shoulder? Anything that will show me that he cares about how I feel? He keeps suggesting that it's not normal and I'm wrong for feeling the way I do. There is so much more to the story. From both sides. He obviously has a different perspective on the matter. I just can't understand why he would truly believe I'm in the wrong for feeling the way I do. I'm so close to ending this relationship. Technically I have a few times, but he keeps coming back. I want it to work. But he gets verbally abusive when I tell him to pick up the slack and get shit done, or show me that he cares.
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af01w0
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{
"description": "asking my friend not to tell me their sexual anecdotes even though they let me tell them mine",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
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WIBTA if I asked my friend not to tell me their sexual anecdotes even though they let me tell them mine?
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TL;DR I tell my (bi) friend serial anecdotes all the time, and while I don't mind them telling me anecdotes about them with women, I uncomfortable with them telling me ones about them with men. Would I be an asshole if I told them as much?
I'm gay and I talk to one of my friends about my experiences in grindr and with other guys all the time. I was very hesitant to at first because I didn't want to push into tmi territory or talk about sexual stuff all the time if it would make them uncomfortable, especially because they are bi ace. But they've assured me they find my anecdotes amusing, they like learning about the culture of the community through my stories, and they don't think I'm oversharing and will let me know if I make them uncomfortable.
They have recently started also exploring relationships, and when they talk to me about their conversations with and thoughts about women I enjoy it and find it amusing an dome discussing it with them. But when they talk about guys it makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel right in it, like when they joke about how all women are goddesses and they always forget how comparatively gross men are until they start messaging with them, I feel justified in being upset by that. The same sorts of behaviors and interactions with men they complain about are my favorite sort of interactions, and totally normal and not creepy or gross stuff.
But sometimes I'll make a joke or anecdote about me and another guy, and they'll relate by shooting back a joke or anecdote about them with a guy. And that makes me uncomfortable. I'd say there are three reasons for that.
1. I don't like the idea that their experiences with men, as a non-binary bi ace person, are really comparable to mine, as a gay man.
2. We kinda hooked up once. I was absolutely trashed, and I hated it while I was happening even though I didn't really try to stop it, and I was messed up over it for weeks afterward. It's one of my biggest regrets in my life, and thinking about this person interacting serially with men just reminds me of that and brings back all those feelings.
3. Outside of our one experience, I really assumed ace meant they weren't interested in sexual interactions or whatever. In my head they're very much a non-sexual entity, so hearing them talk about personal sexual anecdotes makes me feel weird. Like realizing your teacher probably has sex: it's perfectly acceptable and normal, but uncomfortable because of who they are in relation to you. This is my ace friend. My other friends making me aware that they fuck is fine, but my ace friend making me aware that they fuck is weird, because of the implications of being the ace friend. Idk.
Anyway. They picked up that I was uncomfortable and asked me if it made me feel weird that they're relating their sexual stuff to mine and if they should stop/filter more. The honest answer is yes. It makes me feel weird when its about guys, and they can relate all they want with their interactions with women but I would be more comfortable if they filtered out the guy stuff. But they let me talk free-range about my guy stuff, and I feel like an asshole for not being equally open to them, and like to be a good friend I need to work through it/get over it.
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9xhw8w
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AITA for being happy that my ex's dog got taken to the pound?
|
This may get long, but I'll try condense it as much as possible.
A couple of years ago, my then girlfriend (22 at the time) moved in with me (24 at the time) and my two engaged housemates. We'd been dating for about 8 months at the time and she'd been wanting to move out of her parent's place as she had issues with them. What started as a trial move just became her staying permenantly and everyone seemed ok with it. I was having a great deal of mental issues with work and figured it'd be a good thing to have my partner close by to support me (in hindsight not the healthiest plan on either of our parts, but that's a whole other story).
Less than a month later, she starts hinting at wanting a dog. I should mention that the house already had a dog and a cat owned by my housemates, but she wanted a dog for "us". She was aware of my issues and thought having a dog would help alleviate them. Problem is, she wanted a puppy. I told her many times that I was simply not in the right frame of mind to train a puppy as it required a lot of patience and time. Not to mention that we'd be forced to keep a puppy inside 24/7 until it got its vaccinations, the issues with my work causing me not to get paid much, and the fact we'd need to account for my housemates pets.
Unfortunately, and against my better judgement, she eventually convinced me after several weeks of pleading and taking me to see a litter of puppies our friend's dog had recently birthed. My only condition was that she ask the housemates. As it turns out, they both told her that she needed to ask the other two if it was alright, so she took that as a "yes" from everyone and went forward with the adoption.
What followed was easily some of the worst months of my life. Just as I'd predicted, I was not able to cope with training a dog, and she barely lifted a finger to discipline him. Because of that, the pup would misbehave and act aggressively, then go to my ex for protection, which she'd enable. I ended up taking a lot of my frustration out on the poor pup, which I freely admit were not my finest moments (nothing overly abusive, but a lot of shouting and some harder-than-necessary smacks).
The worst day was easily my housemate's wedding day when, after an amazing day out celebrating their union, I come home to find the dog had chewed up a whole bunch of stuff in our room, pissed and shit all over the bed, scratched up the carpet, and thrashed his food and water bowl around. I actually couldn't do anything but stare despondantly at the mess as my ex picked the dog up and said something to the effect of "Oh dear, you've made quite a mess. You must've missed us so much!".
As a few more months passed, my health got much worse to the point I needed an intervention, a week after which my ex broke up with me since she couldn't handle it. She ended up taking the dog with her back to her parents. Lo and behold, after 3 days of constantly being upset over it all, it was like a spell broke and I was starting to be back to my old self. I got the help I needed and started to fix my life.
After a few more months, I hear that my ex is having troubles with the dog being overly aggressive and just not getting along with the other 2 dogs at her parent's. Apparently her mum threatened to take the dog to the pound while she was at work if my ex didn't start disciplining him. A couple of weeks after that, she followed through on that threat, and honestly, I felt happy. Happy that she got the comuppance she deserved, at least in that aspect. Not happy for the dog, obviously. He's the true victim in all of this and I can only hope he went on to find a better home with people who can give him the love he deserves.
But in any case, am I an asshole for feeling happy that she got what she deserved? Or am I just being vindictive?
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a9vjdf
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"description": "cutting him out of my life",
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|
AITA for cutting him out of my life?
|
Just over a month ago I met a guy who I'll refer to as Dan. I started talking on and off with Dan through ThatOneGayDatingApp^(TM) and agreed to meet over some coffee, and it went fairly well, we chatted about stuff for a while, relocated when the coffee shop closed and overall talked for a few hours. After that, we would meet about 1-2 times a week, typically going out to eat then heading back to my place and watching some Lord of the Rings the end the night. Upon meeting Dan I found out that he apparently had a rather sizable inheritance and rather wealthy parents. This isn't really a big deal to me, whatever. Well, Dan only really liked to go out to "boujee" places (his own wording), which are very few in number where we're at. For our second date he brought me the nicest restaurant/bar in town; he brought flowers, paid for dinner and drinks, we talked. A lot of what we talked about was actually me talking about one of my favorite hobbies: D&D. He would always bring it up because it was obvious that I was really into it. Usually I say very little about it, because honestly, if you aren't part of the hobby you probably don't want hear me rambling about, but I digress. He would get kinda weird about it though, saying stuff like "You're so sexy when talk \[insert D&D thing\]", usually followed by me asserting that it's not that kind of fantasy role-playing... I figured it was a well-meant attempt to play at my interests, and that he was just oblivious to some social etiquette. Anyway, moving forward that's what a lot of our discussions were like; he would ask me about my nerd stuff and we talked about character concepts and worked on building him a character. I learned that his dad was some big-wig in some pharmaceutical company, and Dan would occasionally go to board meetings to sit in for his dad.
Time to talk about the red flags. A couple weeks ago Dan wanted to go on a date to the other boujee restaraunt in town. Now here's the thing: My ex works as a waiter there (we broke up about 8-9 months ago). Dan knows this, and has actually met my ex before, knows he works there, and knows of our past relationship. I'm actually on good terms with my ex, so I wasn't too bother by it, and the night we were going was when my ex typically had the night off when we were together, so I figured it'd probably be fine. Dan wanted to do a gift exchange, and like a total jerk I had forgotten about it among the 3 other exchanges I had that week, plus 2 work parties. I show up and head to the table, and he had a big gift bag and a big bouquet of flowers (cue me remembering we agreed to a gift exchange). I apologize profusely, and we proceed with the evening. Our waiter was my ex. The evening was a tad awkward, though my ex stayed formal and and stayed professional. I opened my gift which was a $40+ gift (he had asked to do a $25-30 exchange), but I was pretty glad to now have another D&D book. I promised I would make up for the lack of gift, and and did actually order his gift and let him know what it was, and fortunately he was pretty stoked and I was in the clear.
At one point, Dan told me of when he had met my ex over some coffee (this was after we had broken up). He relayed a story my ex had apparently told him, a key point of this story being that my ex had gone out of his way to cheat on me during our relationship. He told me this story after I mentioned the approximate date we had broken up to Dan. My reaction to this information was pretty mellow. I said it really doesn't matter much to me now, and it's not worth my happiness to obsess over past relationships.
A couple days after that I'm texting a friend that I haven't chatted with in a while that lives about 20 minutes away. I mention that I've been going on some dates with this Dan fellow. I got a text back asking if it was this guy and a picture attached. In the following discussion I learned that Dan had hit my friend up a while back on ThatOneGayDatingApp^(TM) and was really persistent, to the point of offering money for sexual services. My friend included a portion of the chat that also contained a face photo from Dan to confirm that we were talking about the same guy.
I decided to check in with a few people concerning Dan. I first called a friend of mine that I've known for about 2 years now, and he said he'd heard some iffy things about Dan, but had never met him personally. I then called my ex to check a few things. First, I apologized for the awkwardness at the restaurant when he waited on us. I then asked for his version of the story without giving details of what I heard. His version had maybe one common point, but the rest of it was pretty different, particularly the date and location (totally different city). I definitely knew that he hadn't gone on any trips close to the time that Dan mentioned this happening, and I was later able to find several photos on Facebook that helped confirm that this was a trip he went on some time after our breakup.
Something else I heard from my ex was that Dan has been coming through the restaurant every week with a different guy, always paying for both of them and pretty much flaunting his money (something I actually got kind of annoyed about while dating was that Dan simply would not let me pay for anything, and would insist that he pay for both of us).
That leads me to one other thing that bothered me. At one point a family friend of Dan's family was visiting and wanted to get some drinks with Dan. Also, this guy was Dan's ex, who had apparently lied and cheated on Dan. This is actually a story Dan told me himself: after the family friend had a few drinks, Dan pours his entire drink over this guy's head. Now I get that he had apparently done some jacked up stuff, but pouring a drink over his head over something that happened years ago seemed way too Hollywood drama to me. Dan tried to justify it and I just left it alone.
After collecting all this information and reflecting on everything I knew from personal interaction, I decided to send the following text to Dan:
>*(6:00pm)* A few things have been brought to my attention, and this is the last willful interaction I will have with you. Do not message, call, or otherwise try to get in touch with me again. I will send the gift I ordered to your house. You will not be receiving further responses from me.
And his replies:
>*(6:09pm)* May I ask what happened?
​
>*(6:10pm)* Did something happen on you end or mine?
​
>You know what I just have to say your a complete asshole. I thought we was friends. Then you shoot me a text and say you never wanna talk to me or see me again and for what reason you did not explain. You talked about always being honest and blunt so I'm still waiting because the was a pretty vague text. But I have a feeling you won't even reply to this text message, so guess what I don't need your gift save yourself the 20 dollars and cancel the order because I think you need it more then me. *\[smiley face emoji\]*
I did feel bad about the way I went about cutting him off without explaining things, but the last sentence definitely cemented some of things I was wary of concerning him. Still, I know I'm biased, and while I don't regret cutting him out, I do wonder if I was really an asshole in this situation. Hopefully this post is semi coherent, I'm not the greatest at translating my thoughts to "writing". Anyway, have at it.
​
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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dHhGcwm9ib8dUgzHC55MX3cOFVwbXmnn
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azbni6
|
{
"description": "forgetting to let my neighbors dog out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for forgetting to let my neighbors dog out
|
So i was asked to dog sit a chihuahua that my family’s close friends own. While i was dog sitting, the family’s eldest son comes and tells me that he has to work and so could i come let him out later today. I told him that i would do that.
Later, while talking with my mother, the mother of that family says that the eldest son is taking the dog to his apartment so i did not have to got the house.
Fast forward to now, the eldest son is working until 2 AM, no one can let the dog out at this moment, and my mother may have to drive a city down to get a house key.
I am currently guilt tripping so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
hiYrYENDRlMozi1o9AFE55rZCUaAHik1
|
b7dh9c
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do things for my parents anymore",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not wanting to do things for my parents anymore?
|
I recently confessed to my mother that I don't want to hear her constant complaints about work because it was giving me really bad anxiety, enough that I started getting physical symptoms of extreme stress. She became angry and gave me one word answers and half ignored me for several days. I do a lot of things for her including cooking, cleaning and being her tech support. Normally I don't mind but I work a lot and now I just have enough time to look after my own responsibilities, so when I tell her to Google her issue or that I don't want her to make that online purchase in my name cause I know what she wants is just a whim, both my parents get angry and act like I'm ungrateful. Which makes me feel guilty cause they do a lot for me.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
U9tf8h9Vjx5kODCjkk8K7XILSyjdmWPN
|
b5wulv
|
{
"description": "buying a pair of balls for my friend's truck",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I bought a pair of balls for my friend's truck?
|
You know those hanging nutsack decorations douchebags with chinstrap beards and neon shorts buy for their big Ford trucks? Yeah, I wanna buy one of those and put it on my friend's truck and just not tell him. You know, for laughs.
WIBTA for putting a fake decoration of a man's massive nutsack on my buddy's truck?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
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RIGHT
|
eoJUzrRkSzIhxn0uu6hYyHBzKRj5FDA8
|
at60vx
|
{
"description": "looking out for my client's best interests",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for looking out for my client's best interests?
|
I'm a business analyst for a software company. It's a client facing job and my role is to gather my client's requirements and find the best possible solutions to their current problems by introducing technology, and improving their processes. After which my programming team develops the solution and deploys it. I am also involved in the quality assurance process.
I enjoy doing my job and believe I'm good at it. My clients are very happy with me.
My supervisor however is trying to get me to work less and less and design very low quality solutions so the programming team won't have to really work on it.
I'm not trying to come up with crazy, unbelievable technology stack ideas or put any of my team members under needless duress. My design was standard in the industry. It's just that what my supervisor was pushing was absolutely abysmal.
I had been working on the design enthusiastically but today just before my meeting with the steering committee, my supervisor told me I was not allowed to show my designs to our clients. And told me to defend a product that was essentially undefendable.
I didn't listen.
AITA to show the clients what is in their best interest?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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}
|
RIGHT
|
NvMf6JDQD3hm1J4U8c8n0CO10Jqcoj5M
|
b7vmb3
|
{
"description": "talking to a guy that my friend was supposedly also talking to",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for talking to a guy that my friend was supposedly also talking to?
|
Maybe this sounds bad, but here’s my story.
My friends liked this kid and was talking to him for about a month, she used to talk about him all the time. I am in a class with him in which we can socialize. Him and I started talking and I seen him as a friend, but my friends always tell me I seem flirtatious with everybody. I’ll admit, I started liking him a little bit but I knew him and my friend were talking. Anyway, one day we were talking and I asked him about my friend, like how they were doing and stuff. He said they weren’t talking at all and never were. I then told my friend what he said and she got all mad at me and called me an asshole for talking to him in the first place.
My best friend talked to me about it and said she understood, but I shouldn’t talk to him while my other friend is. I guess they stopped talking and my friend claims I ruined their relationship and I’m an asshole for it.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
MyqMmh0mKQ7wrFnDMkBFj5i8HYdefwtA
|
adwep7
|
{
"description": "making a family hostile arguments worse",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making a family hostile arguments worse.
|
my family are always in that kind of state where even a slight problem could break the house apart in hostile arguments.
A few minutes ago at 11:00pm ish I just woke up because of another hostile arguments, I decided to try to give no fucks and going to kitchen for a glass of water.
Well guess what? my shitty dad are there (and still getting emotional for some reason) start to shits on my life and lots of small stupid details that suddenly bothers him for some reason. I can bet he's drunk. I still try to give no fucks then he started to say that we should work together to dispose him, that he should've died, trying to make himself a victim. that's when I lost it and let out some light cuss word telling him to basically fuck off and go sleep or something.
Then he melts down and starts to try to get his hands on me, literally trying to fucking bonk me on the back of the head. I as normal human jolted out and respond with more swear words to him, and i decided to fuck myself off because he's wont stop babbling and stop having desires to bonk me in the head anytime soon.
Why this post? because i thought i might be an asshole for not 'understanding' my shitty dad and should've kept my mouth shut and letting the things go down a bit. I felt bad for my mom for tanking through all of my dad's shit. I don't give a slight fuck about my dad but I felt bad about my mom is atm going through all of his bullshit because of me.
well reddit, am I an asshole?
edit: I'm still in my front yard because I'm afraid my dad would take things too far. i can guess it because i definitely knew he's dumb enough to think of that.
edit2: turns out my decision to chicken out gave him a false sense that I'm in the wrong and he 'expels' me out of the house.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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MDicoEBehBX1mPMWVC4Kq0vQCSdSjQ2v
|
aedht5
|
{
"description": "giving a legal document to one friend before the other. they are exes",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for giving a legal document to one friend before the other. They are exes.
|
I have two friends, let’s name them “A” and “B”. I’ve known them both for about 5 years, but I used to work with “B”. A few years ago we became neighbors and we would check each other’s animals when either of us were out of town.
Last year, they got divorced. “A” kept the house and “B” moved out and left pretty much everything to “A”. Throughout this time, I have remained friends with both. And “A” still checks in on my pet when I am out of town and I check in on “A”s pets.
This past week, a legal document was sent incorrectly to my place. The names on the letter was “B”s first with “A”s underneath. The address was not the address to where “A” lives.
I informed “B” that I received this letter and made plans with “B” to give the letter, make a copy, and give it to “A”. The divorce didn’t end well, so I wanted to just make sure that they both got the information they needed. “B” had told me that “A” has made a habit of not forwarding important information and at times misrepresenting details which impacted the settlement of assets in the divorce to favor “A” (I personally have not had a conversation with “A” about it, but our group of friends have come to find out that other issues which “B” brought up were true). As well as they don’t like talking or interacting with each other.
Tonight, I gave the letter to “A” and got an upset reception. I expected it to happen, but I did my best to explain that there was no malicious intent on what I did. I just tried to do what I believed right and most helpful. I was told the optics did not look good and I proved my allegiance. Which I believe is unfair. After the time I’ve known “A” I have never tried to do anything to pull one over, and have tried to be a good friend. Even defending “A” when “B” would talk about negative aspects of “A”.
So AITA for not just giving the letter to “A” since they were right next door?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
h1p7zTVUicMb4z2suUgfeLyEaroL2N8X
|
ar4jmv
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go out w/ someone",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to go out w/ someone
|
Basically the story is that I got asked by my friend to hang out w/ him, his gf and her friend. I was telling my friend that I wasn’t there to get into anything but just to have some fun. We all get to meet her and go out and the girl is nice but she’s not really my type. When I left, I got a text from him saying that she likes me and I told him that she’s nice too but I don’t want to go out with her, now I’m not completely sure how I should be handling this because it’s not too common for me to be in this situation, I feel like I’m being shunned or something.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
OL5DNPkHhYyLSVAq3oy3f4boDzALmcFV
|
b17a9r
|
{
"description": "telling my ex's friend what she really thinks about him",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I told my ex's friend what she really thinks about him?
|
Backstory to this, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me, and in the beginning the only explanation she gave me was that we just drifted apart, and that alone would be completely fine. I didn't accept that answer, and after asking around it turned out that she in fact liked someone else at the same time, and had started dating him less than a month after we broke up. After confronting her about why she lied when breaking up with me, she told me it had only been a "facter," and she only started liking him after we broke up, and the main really was that she just stopped loving me. I accepted that answer and moved on.
So a couple months go by, and today while talking to a friend about her he tells me that the entire reason she broke up with me was because of the other guy, and she lied to me about pretty much everything else about why she broke up with me. Would I be the asshole to reveal to her friend how much she didn't like him and shit talked him? This wouldn't be much of a big deal but she frequently hangs out with him and acts really friendly, but in reality she completely dislikes him and everything that he does. Would I be the asshole if I did this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
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AUTHOR
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{
"RIGHT": 3,
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|
RIGHT
|
WxVvnhVNa2JLSHiwBMwZWZGAXiuKTQsb
|
awbg3x
|
{
"description": "being unable to choose between 2 girls",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being unable to choose between 2 girls?
|
I broke up with my gf after 7 years together last year. She left me and It was not entirely her fault. I had lost my job a few months earlier and since had started turning into this grumpy insensitive man. We fought a lot almost everyday. I tried to apply for various jobs to no success. I felt like I had done everything I could but she thought I was not trying hard enough. I grew to resent her for I thought she did not understand me. I said horrible things to her and made her cry many times. One day she decided she could not take it any longer. She told me she's moving out. I did not do or say anything to stop her as I was still too busy dealing with my anger and desperation over my unemployment.
A few months passed and I started seeing another girl, who was somehow able to see past my anger and bitterness and knew deep down inside I am a loving and gentle person. She cheered me up and convinced me that things would get better. She never lost faith in me. And there were times when she also supported me financially when I needed to pay the bills. I told her to leave me alone because she deserved someone better, not a loser like me. Her friends told her that I was only using her because I was broke and needed money. I told her her friends were right. I was not good for her. But she told me she loved me and her friends only said those horrible things because they did not know me.
But what she did not know though, I was still much in love with my ex gf and still could not get over her. This new girl was stubborn. Whenever I tried to push her out of my life, she would always fight her way in harder than ever. Until I finally gave up and I started to actually fall in love with her as well. I really believed that with her, I could start all over and be happy again. We moved in together as a new couple. And then the good news arrived. I got a call from this company that would love to have me. I was beyond ecstatic. And that's when my ex gf showed up. She had no idea that I was dating someone else. She told me that she’s sorry for leaving me. That she should’ve been more understanding and supportive.
I told her there was nothing to apologize for. I was angry when she left but not anymore. I did not blame her. It was not entirely her fault. I was a douchebag myself and treated her horribly. Seeing her again after months made me realize I was still so much in love with her. When I told her about my new gf, she looked so shocked and hurt. But She told me she would give me sometimes to think about us. She does not want to be the other girl. She also said she understands if I can not leave my new gf because she (my new gf) was there when I needed help the most. As much as I love my new gf, I realized I am still much in love with my ex as well. Is it possible to be in love with two persons at the same time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
|
WRONG
|
MqeUdAx2vyrzDxbJNcyb4gkLIvkLgKwS
|
aq10v6
| null |
AITA stayed the night at a girls apartment and woke up early and left because she didn’t want to put out.
|
Here’s the story. I’ve been seeing a girl for about a month. Last night I went over to her apartment and we hung out. We’ve already had plenty of sex, and she’s freaky. Anyways after a little bit I attempt to get it started and she tells me she’s not really in the mood tonight. After that we go and take a shower together, where nothing but kissing happened, and then we go into bed. I turn on Netflix and she has her laptop doing homework and we’re talking and chatting. After about an hour I pass out. I wake up at 6am and started putting on my clothes to leave. I had classes at 9 am and she had class at 1 pm
So I figured I’d go back to my place and eat and get a change of clothes because she wouldn’t want to be awaken. I put on my clothes and as I’m zipping my jacket she wakes up and asks where I’m going. I told her I’m going home and that I’ll see her later. She gets really defensive and starts asking why I want to leave so early. I said I need to run home before class and change and get ready, and that I didn’t want to wake her. She asks me if I’m leaving because she didn’t put out, and I said yes stupidly. Truthfully, the only thing we usually do in the morning is fuck and then go about our own daily business, so I didn’t want to wake her and ask if she wanted to. She starts having an anxiety attack I think and says “stay and fuck me please don’t go” I got really uncomfortable and told her everything is fine and that we’re not doing that. I’m dressed and going to get ready at my place and I’ll see you later, don’t worry. Fast forward to today I went and saw her a couple hours ago and she wanted to talk about it, and she said that her friends say I’m “rapey”
I know I said something stupid and I should have filtered telling her why I left earlier than usual. But I don’t think I’m rapey. Not at all. Honestly I think I did the right thing saying no because she was freaking out and in a vulnerable state and i still said no, like any decent human being should. I think it’s bull shit they’re claiming this and I don’t really buy the rapey bit, but I’d rather get some strangers opinions.
TLDR, I went to a girls house last night and she said she didn’t want to have sex tonight and left earlier than usual in the morning because of it ; she asked why and I said because I want extra time to get ready because we aren’t going to fuck, and she had a panic attack and offered to fuck to get me to stay, I told her no, and tried to calm her down saying it’s fine we’ll see each other later. Fastforwsrd to today and she wants to talk and she tells me her friends say I’m rapey.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
wr0rx8hgf04XAzDc4CNZXjPKlJxa3xJt
|
b2j68p
|
{
"description": "not wanting my sister to go to the same college as me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my sister to go to the same college as me?
|
I love my sister. I’m very proud of her. She went from doing poorly in high school to getting into college and eventually doing well in her classes. However, she is very needy and relies a lot on family members for help. I took the role as her emotional rock when I lived with her and helped to mediate her many fights with my parents. I helped her stay upright when she was having mental health issues, cooking for her when she wouldn’t feed herself and encouraging her to clean and go out, basically being there for her whenever she needed me. Despite our closeness I was pretty relieved when she left for college. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, the responsibility of another persons life was taken from me and given back to them. I continued to do well in school and recently got accepted into my college of choice. The thought of being my own person and moving away from my family, who I had my own problems with, was very exciting to me. However, when I visited the college as an accepted student, my sister decided she wanted to transfer there. I haven’t said anything to her to make her think this was a bad idea, as I don’t want to be selfish. I love my sister very much but the idea of having any facet of my life being my own sounds so new and liberating. This was supposed to be my thing, the beginning of me being my own person. Anyone with a slightly older sibling will understand what I’m talking about here, everything you’ve accomplished so far has been recently done by them, making your achievements not as memorable or important. Now even my drop off at the start of the first semester will mean little as my sister will be there too, doing the same thing in the same place. I just want one part of my life to be new, my own. (Ever since we were children I was forced to do whatever she did, sports, classes, hand me down clothes, etc) Am I being selfish? It is a good school and I want her to do well, just, somewhere else.
TL;DR: AITA for not wanting my emotionally needy sister to transfer to the college I’m attending?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
X3EUb10PI4RpKG8YUBVEtRjHSGMtTmts
|
b1gtjq
|
{
"description": "throwing several pillows at my meowing cat",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 38
}
|
WIBTA if I threw several pillows at my meowing cat?
|
This story is short.
Our cat gets fed every morning around 7:00 AM when my girlfriend goes to work. I don't typically wake up until around 8:30 AM, but one of my cats will sit in my doorway and meow constantly - like he was never fed, and that I need to come feed him. He does this as soon as she walks out the door; it's like clockwork. Basically, my cat is waking me up every morning almost 2 hours before my alarm.
I have tried "fake" feeding him, and that usually gets him to stop.
Most mornings I just roll over and pretend I don't hear him, but tomorrow I have a big meeting and really need my sleep; would I be the asshole if I put a bunch of small (soft) pillows by my bed, to use as ammunition when he comes meowing? I think if I startle him, he'll run away - and give me at least a few minutes of peace.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 29,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 38
}
|
WRONG
|
3mgYi2iEXwMZmgNvi0196kf5ehr2b0he
|
9zm5kb
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get involved with a bullying",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to get involved with a bullying?
|
Here it goes. Ok, so at my HS, there is a kid named Andy. He is, REALLY annoying, self centerd, bratty, and on the SED spectrum. (he is also known for sitting there and laughing and taking a video of a kid who was having a seizure. He is 5"4' and fat. (Just to give you an idea on what he looks like.) (I'm 5"7' kinda overweight, and kinda muscular.)
Anyway, it's pretty obvious that he is getting "bullied", he is basically the grade's punching bag. Now, my school has a very strict definition of bullying, which is why bulling is in parenthesis. There using loopholes, and the few times when they do break the rules, Andy has no evidence. Anyway, in computer class (6th period.) Andy and I have this, and 3rd period together. The teacher assigined us partners. I was with my friend Lucas. Andy was put with Jack. Jack is cool, but has low patience and very hot headed. After a few days, Jack got fed up and Requested to work alone. Request granted.
Since Andy was by himself, teacher let him pick which group he wanted to join. He poke? Picked? ours. Now a few of the people "bullying" him are in that class. they go up to us, chatting and "helping" us, while picking on Andy. Well, one of the guys, Marcelino accidently slaps him. Andy goes to the teacher, but the bell rings and there outta there like that. This happened on a Friday.
On Monday, 3rd period (P.E.) Now, here is the thing. I never bullied him, but also never stood up for him. Bystander in the middle kinda thing. So Andy walks up to me and announces that he reported them. "Yeah, good for you." I say. (not sarcastically.) Then he askes me if I was called into the principal yet. I ask him what he is talking about. He said He used me (without my permission and/or knowledge), as his witness. He then says what he wants me to recite to the principal like I'm his machine. And before I have a chance to tell him hell no, he runs away. Now, a lot of his "bullies" are my friends. Like Marcelino? He's actually not a bad guy.
After this, Andy tries to befriend me. I kept denying him but he got my xBox gamertag (same as my Reddit name) from Lucas. Lucas is a really nice guy and Andy also voluntold him as a witness, which he agreed to. He hasn't got farther than that and I fear he may be stalking me. (online, I have no proof.)
Now to the big part. Last Friday, Andy said there gonna call us in after break (next week) Now I know siding with Andy and telling the truth is the "right" thing to do. But I don't wanna snitch on my friends. I am an introvert, and have a very mild stutter issue. These guys are really popular guys and I fear that me, or my other friends might get bullied and loose our reputations as popular ourselves. What I am planning on doing is NOT getting involved with it and saying that I was focused on work and didn't see it. AITA?
oh, and to the three people who saw my last post, it was a test to see if my computer works. That's why you may have deja vu.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
IcprkfRTiDPcKaCRMYBVInT4hRSi98rF
|
awb3i6
|
{
"description": "stealing netflix account",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for stealing netflix account?
|
Somebody tried to steal my email and used it to make netflix account. I found out, changed all my passwords even for their netflix account with 6 months worth of subscription.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
yWrb38WOGcclC03NWQTu2meiB4DHCrNs
|
b7bk3v
|
{
"description": "changing my mind about moving in together",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for changing my mind about moving in together?
|
18m been with 18f for 6 months. Her homelifes shitty and she wants to move out with me, Im a uni student that makes around $600p/w so is she, making around $250 p/w. My homelifes great and I have a dog. Shes been budgeting and building this idea for weeks and started applying for houses. At the start I thought we could make it work, but now realising she expects me to leave my dog behind, downgrade to a much worse house and live paycheck to paycheck. Iv recently put my foot down saying that im not too keen on the idea anymore. She just cries and makes me feel bad everytime i tell her I dont think its fair. I probably should have had my mind completely made up at the start, but aita for now putting my foot down?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5WgsyXOr2rvLtzHfvqM7cbZz6lFaxhub
|
apoppa
|
{
"description": "ending a friendship over an argument where he ignored data to disagree with me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ending a friendship over an argument where he ignored data to disagree with me?
|
Some background before we go in. I'm high functioning autistic and almost always read social situations wrong. I have very few friends because of this, and I have few chances to make new friends as I am on disability and I have the typical narrow interests problem. Because of this almost all of my friendships are made online, and most always come about thanks to meeting someone in the comments section of a story I enjoy, or wrote myself.
Three years ago I was lucky enough to meet someone online who enjoined my stories enough to offer me help with editing them. Well call him Editor.
I have some pretty bad spelling and grammar issues, and I also often fail to see mistakes I make because my brain knows what I meant and filters the mistake out. Because of that and how he would happily edit a chapter almost any time I asked right away, I really appreciated his help and we became pretty fast friends, but he was always a little abrasive, and tended to call me stupid (not in those words, but context made it clear he thought I was an idiot and being insulting about it.).
The last thing you need to know is that I keep maticulious data on my stories. I track views, comments, who comments frequently, when its viewed, when people comment... I dont' mean to be creepy by that, I just want to know if my story is doing well, or it I am failing to improve over my previous story. My ex-friend knew I keep this data and has even seen the spreadsheets I track it on.
​
Last night in a private discord specifically for one particular series I write, I was talking to some friends and a couple fans about my currently in progress story and how I am worried I made a mistake somewhere because its reader engagement is down 72% compared to my average. That's the measure of how many comments per chapter a story is getting, it's a handy metric for seeing how much people enjoy a particular work.
I have no way to feel like I am contributing to society other than knowing people enjoy my stories. Everyone who talks to me for even a short time about why I write knows this about me. In light of that fact I asked if it might be possible that a percentage of my normal readers were not commenting specifically to punish me for canceling a story a month ago which I wasn't enjoying writing but was fairly popular.
Editor came into the conversation then, having not even been on the discord up until that point. He laughed and told me that I was being "a crazy girl again". I admitted that was unlikely, but I was trying to understand what was different this time and why I was down almost 3/4ths of my average engagement levels.
At first he seemed to get that I was looking at things from a scientific angle. He brought up how only 32% of readers on my stories leave comments, and a few other datapoints. I agreed, but then broke down the data for him since he missed it earlier. In short, I know not only how many comments a story should be getting on average per chapter, but also how quickly the majority of comments should arrive. The first 8 hours after a chapter is posted normally have 14-22 comments posted on them, but this story was only getting 2-4 in that same time span.
I also informed him that I wasn't seeing my "regulars" in the comment section, and since those regulars are not on my discord it's not like they simply decided to comment on the discord. I used this data to show that I was doing something that was making readers either upset, or disinterested.
He then told me that I was being stupid, and that people weren't punishing me by not commenting. I said that was unlikely, but I didn't have any other ideas of what it could be. He points out that my new story was a different genera than the last one, and I laughed.
See, every story I do is a different genera and that has never effected anything before. I've done fantasy. I've done scifi. I've done science-fantasy. I've done drama. I've done magical realism. I've done Literary Realism. I've done Martial Arts. I've done "Trapped in a Videogame". I've done "world hopping". Genera doesn't seem to matter to my audience. My regulars would always comment, usually enthusiastically. Editor knows this, he worked on 18 of my 25 total stories.
The Genera of story isn't a real factor here. My audience doesn't seem to care about that. They are here for the world building, themes, tone, and generally zany way I write. I know this. I ask people what they like. I do polls. Editor knows all of that as well.
The fact that my current story is a post-apockoliptic one focused on the problems with budding young civilizations as the world recovers from the war really shouldn't matter when the audience in question has enjoyed everything from a comedy where the joke is "Literately everyone is a different kind of monster but none of them know that about eachother." to a story where an eldritch horror challenges some random mortals to a game of live action D&D with their whole world's fate depending on that game, to a sci-fi epic involving the protagonist hitchhiking across the stars to rescue their friends who were abducted by space pirates.
​
Clearly, genera isn't a factor in my audience's enjoyment of my work.
Editor doesn't care as I explain this to him and insists that it's because I'm doing post-apoc. I know he dosn't personally care for my current story very much and I ask him to put his bias aside and look at this objectively because the lack of engagement is very distressing to me and I want to find the real reason behind it so I can fix things.
He proceed to call me an idiot and insist that I cannot compare my current story's performance to my past ones because it's not the same genera as the others. I reminded him that I dont' do the same genera unless it's a direct sequel, and even then I've gone from fantasy to science fantasy and no one was bothered by the shift in genera between sequels.
I also told him that since I am comparing the average of all my works combined to my current story, genera wouldn't matter anyways.
He repeated his argument, insisted I was being stupid and illogical and that "You're not being punished!" and I agreed, again, that my earlier conclusion was unlikely and I was simply considering that possibility because I was stumped. I asked what he thought, and he repeated his entire argument, ignoring the hard data we have showing that no, my readers really don't care about genera.
The argument looped 5 times before my roomate called me away to drive her to the store (she dosn't have a license). I was so pissed off that I almost crashed twice. When I got back home, I was still mad, so I asked Editor to apologize. Not for arguing with me, just for pissing me off to the point where I almost ran into an oncoming snowplow because I was too angry to notice it.
Editor refused, saying he wont apologize for being right.
I told him that would be fine because we wouldn't be talking for the foreseeable future, and removed his flair on my discord which makes him as a friend of mine. This pissed him off so much he left the server completely.
As far as I am concerned, since Editor will argue with me like that at least once a week, and never apologizes sincerely, we wont be talking ever again... But I feel like an asshole for abandoning him like that. Am I?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
4Osjf7VmR52Fb4nWl5SqJCRBLdEan70h
|
aorrbk
|
{
"description": "getting frustrated and asking her where this is going",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for getting frustrated and asking her where this is going?
|
Rewind to a few months ago. I meet this amazing girl. After talking for a while I find out she's studying in another country. I've done long distance relationships before and I'm not too keen on it. I express my reservations around LDRs straight away. But I fall for her hard and she convinces me it's not so bad - "it has it's advantages". She returns to her country of study. We text every day while she's away. Not something I enjoy normally but you gotta do what you gotta do, and she doesn't do phone calls.
Fast forward a few weeks and she comes home for Christmas. We go on our first date. It goes great. She thinks so as well. She tells me she doesn't go on a second date with someone unless she sees it going somewhere.
Thankfully, she agrees to a second date and it goes even better. We express we both want to make the most of our time together over the holidays. Then our next 3 or 4 dates go amazing. We talk about everything, even our future. She tells me she wants me to visit her after she goes back to college. I'm more than happy to. I fly over and we have a wonderful time.
At some point she warns me that she turns into a "demon" when it comes to texting during her exams. I understand, she's stressed and distracted. Everything is normal until a couple weeks ago when she stops replying to some of my messages of ignoring them altogether. Fair enough, she's stressed and focusing on her studies. But then I find out she's going out during her exams. Including the night before one. So she has time to party but not for me? That's when my sympathy starts to wane. Also, I know she's online but ignoring my messages.
Our texting (only form of communication) becomes less frequent, especially because she never texts first, rarely asks me questions, and I grow tired of carrying a one-sided conversation. So now I start to think she's not distracted but disinterested. I'm gutted and frustrated. These things happen but at least tell me.
Fast forward to a couple days ago. We're surprisingly messaging back and forth and I know she's due home soon so I ask her if she booked flights. She has but she's not staying home for long. I ask if I'm going to see her, and she responds she'll message me when she's "in our city and available". Now I'm confused.
I really want to make this work. Yet, if she doesn't want anything more out of this fair enough. But I think the decent thing to do is at least tell me. So I'm not wasting any more time and energy. Am I being unreasonable? Or WIBTA by calling her out / asking her asap where this is going?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3umdQBWKsepSlpO74cvvl78LTkBSFoST
|
b1xpdw
|
{
"description": "not going to a dads group",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to a dads group?
|
My partner keeps pushing me to go to a local dads group held at a park on Sunday mornings. I've been a few times and haven't really liked going, so far it's just been the same thing each week including standing around having awkward small talk and watching the kids play on the equipment (except my son who doesn't walk yet). I don't really feel comfortable going, I'm the youngest by at least 10 years (currently 20y/o), while they're all pretty cool guys, I can't really relate to any of them and feel a sense of judgement for being so young. I also struggle with talking to them about their kids, because so far all of them have said their kids are great and sleep through the night, whereas my son fights sleep and wakes up multiple time a night, I don't really like hearing how everyone else has it so much easier :/
My partner thinks it's good for me to get out of the house, which it is, but she's adamant that I go to this group even through I've already been a few times and don't particularly get anything out of it in terms of feeling better, or feel getting a new "support community". My partner feels I'm being stubborn and writing it off because I don't want to socialise.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
j6Mcw5U6jb45MJYhoRX4XylD70UVb6pd
|
9ws6sn
|
{
"description": "cussing out a friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cussing out a friend?
|
TLDR: Friend sprayed water all over me, I got mad and cussed him out.
So in chemistry we're allowed to work in the back with friends and stuff, provide were doing work. Usually at my friend group, we just fucked around with each other (we refers to me, M, I, G, and J, my friends in that class.
Chemistry is a class that me and G suck in, so today we decided we wanted to actually get our work done. I and J, as usual, we're being loud and obnoxious, hitting the desk, turning the sinks on (which spray water everywhere because they suck), and just distracting us from getting our work done.
So me and G decided to move to a different table so we can do our work. I decides to come over with his stuff, and we assumed that he was gonna stop fucking around and do his work too. Well me and G were doing the problem, and I decides to turn the sink on full power, completely soaking my papers, my phone, and me. I completely lost it and cussed him out in front of everyone because I was pissed off at him. Not only did he continuously continue to district me and G, but also he completely soaked my papers and my clothes, further preventing me to get my work done.
Oh, by the way, this isn't the first time he's soaked my stuff. Usually I just move to the other table and work by myself, but since G and me were working together he just decided to come fuck with us instead.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ovjNbxCNvzonVv7CJhYnaxvGzvd6qoNB
|
adkhgr
|
{
"description": "repeating the story where I made an orthopedic surgeon come completely unglued",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for repeating the story where I made an orthopedic surgeon come completely unglued?
|
I love telling stories, but, one of my favorites paints another in a really negative light, so, am I an asshole for telling this story?
About 20 years ago, I blew out my knee skiing. I tore my ACL and MCL (ligaments). The MCL will heal on it's own, but, the ACL will not. I went to the orthopedic surgeon, and for whatever reason, this guy was really adamant that I should have reconstructive surgery.
I wanted to wait until the MCL had healed just to see what the knee would be like without the surgery, and the Dr is telling me I should get the surgery right away to avoid a second recovery (good point).
This discussion turned into a debate, and I was going over my reasons for wanting to wait, and he's giving me his reasons why I should get it done right away. He had some good points, and I was considering his advice carefully. Even after his points were made I still wanted to wait.
My last debate point was: "If I decide to get the procedure done 20 years from now, you're techniques will be that much better". At this point he said the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard from the mouth of a physician.
He said, "No, we've got it figured out, it's not going to get better than it is now"
My ears listened in disbelief as a previously unknown part of my brain took over my mouth and said:
"What are you talking about, you guys are barely above leeches and stone knives?"
The doctor completely lost his shit at this point. He got 6 inches from my face and SCREAMED at me for several minutes. All the stuff you'd expect about how I disrespected him, and have a lot of nerve, etc. I basically had to wait until he calmed down, and I left. I was definitely not letting this guy anywhere near me with a knife.
The waiting room outside was packed with people that all heard it and kinda looked up at me as I was coming out of the examining room. The seemed concerned.
Postmortem analysis:
1. There is still medical use of leeches, and there are scalpels made of Obsidian, which is a stone. (well volcanic glass anyway)
2. I've never regretted not getting it done.
3. I've researched it and techniques have improved and now 20 years later, I am thinking of getting the ACL reconstructed.
4. I've never identified the man, just told the story about how he came completely unglued.
5. I think it's funny.
Am I an asshole for repeating this story and thinking it's funny?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
kZExnvHs4EplDexsdNoLoyVB2DylZdBO
|
afsaf4
|
{
"description": "not standing up for her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Not Standing Up for Her?
|
The events happened a long time ago, but it was a recent encounter that’s been gnawing at me.
Years ago in elementary through high school, there was this one girl in my class Jane*, who was a sweet girl, but she was a bit slower than everyone else. And as a result was made fun of and bullied a lot.
I was pretty neutral towards her, but when I would hear this happening I would turn the other cheek. But the sad thing about this is, she considered me a good friend, because I wouldn’t pick on her. But I never had her back either. This went on until she transferred to another school our sophomore year.
I didn’t think about any of this again until I went to the store with my mom, and not even knowing her whereabouts, saw her working there. Guys, I wanted to give her the biggest hug and tell her that I was so sorry for everything she went through, but I just couldn’t. Mainly because I didn’t want to open up any old wounds.
So please tell me, AITA for not sticking up for her and being the friend to her that she thought I was?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IwJ7VXbZtjMxv9n9AVm9Spjr1wEpCLDt
|
ai8b5q
|
{
"description": "letting a friend of mine sleep over after we had sex without checking with my roommate first",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for letting a friend of mine sleep over after we had sex without checking with my roommate first?
|
Basically, I've recently moved into the dorms at my university because of a falling out with an ex that I shared an apartment with. It's a double, and my roommate is great.
Afyer I realized that I didn't ask about the staying over thing, I immediately texted my roommate and apologized for not checking in with them.
I notified them that my friend and I would need a couple of hours alone, and he was fine with that. I just neglected to tell them about the staying over thing because that wasn't yet finalized when I asked for the space.
So, I didn't think it was a big deal; we weren't going to have sex with my roommate in the room obviously. Regardless, my roommate was pissed because they had a bad experience in the past with a roommate having sex with them in the room.
So, I realized that I distressed them (the tone of the text was really negative), so I bought them some brownies, said I'd never do it again without asking firsrt and apologized yet again.
My roommate didn't accept the apology, and used our talk as a way to jump my shit more. They continue to give the cold shoulder despite the fact that we got along great before this.
TL;DR - I had a friend of mine over to have sex and hang. It ended up being that my friend stayed the night, and I forgot to notify my roommate. We had already had sex and didn't plan on doing anything like that. I bought my roommate brownies and apologized again. They didn't accept my apology and continue to give me the cold shoulder.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
2JWE7RnCEmytba0jvKzwmFGZwwt6rzii
|
at4vv0
|
{
"description": "raising the heat on my roommates",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for raising the heat on my roommates?
|
Our apartment gets pretty hot despite not turning the heat on. As a response my roommates starting turning the cold air on in the winter to make it cooler in the house. Unfortunately for me, it made my room very very cold. My room never got to warm in the first place either but turning on the cold air made it really cold. I tried closing the vents but that did not work. I asked my roommates if they could instead open a window when they got hot and they straight up said no despite my situation and continued to arctic blast my room. My one roommate said it was too loud outside but then said later that opening the window was too cold??? So i started turning on the heat and now theyre mad at me because i cant just use a blanket?? It seems really unfair that they can open a window for 10 minutes and cool theyre room down but instead they turn on the AC in the winter time and make my room freezing. Also once it freezing it stays freezing cause its 32F out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
VtgD43fazlO3V2N7JE4gtdCLIS16tNdo
|
app4lg
|
{
"description": "reporting Lyft/Uber drivers or giving them a lower rating for having a car that is obviously smoked in",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA for reporting Lyft/Uber drivers or giving them a lower rating for having a car that is obviously smoked in?
|
I've had to take a lot of Ubers and Lyfts for work the past month, and more than half the cars have had extreme smell issues. It's either horrible BO (of the driver), extremely overpowering axe body spray or car freshener spray where I had to breathe through my mouth and could taste the spray, or most commonly, the car reeks of cigarettes. I'm an ex smoker and am generally very tolerant of smokers, I just despise the smell of old cigarettes that comes from smoking indoors (or in-car) because it makes me really nauseous. I know drivers rely on good reviews and giving them a negative review affects their livelihood, so I'm not sure if I should knock down their rating or report them.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
XuYWQjCknrszaZBN9tzCnuh4L8cAw2oV
|
ayk31u
|
{
"description": "ruining my friends grade",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ruining my friends grade?
|
A few years ago, I went to a charter school in my state which was well known for their STEM program. At the time, I hung out with 3 people- F1, F2, and BF (bestfriend) Now, these friends and I had been friends since middle school, but things had been getting tense lately between me, F1, and F2. There was sort of a wall forming between us- they'd pretend I didn't exist in conversations and they'd talk shit about BF (who, at the time, who I was still fairly close to). I still had a semi-positive view of them, though, so I just endured it. The problem came when it was time to work on this project. I was systematically excluded from nearly every aspect of the assignment. Now, to be fair, the project slipped my mind after a bit- I was a busy person- but I didn't even have the link to the powerpoint so I could edit. They never spoke a word to me about the project, just worked on it themselves. Several weeks pass, and the project is now due. F1 and F2 ask me to edit the project at the very last minute, and I rush to do it, but we still get a bad grade, and my A drops to a B-. My grades mattered a lot to me back then- I was so pissed I didn't talk to them for the next few days.
F1 and F2 had a habit of cheating on tests. F1 would take a test and write down the answers somewhere and pass it to F2, who had the same period later in the day. One morning in my Health class, I mention being worried about my Chemistry grade and F1 offers to make me a cheat sheet. I say yes. On the period of the test, I ask F2 if she had an extra copy. She says no, sorry, F1 only made one. At this point, I'm done. Looking back on it,she could have just forgotten, but at the time I was pissed. The project and the shit-talking came back to me, and I get an idea. I go to the teacher and tell him that F2 had the answers to the test written on her periodic table. I expected him to out her immediately, but instead he hangs back and stares directly at her paper. She couldn't even take it out. He was staring at her so intensely that someone else across the room would have been able to cheat. He comes up to her and says 'Can I see your periodic table?' She turns it over and he sees the answers. He takes the periodic table and her test and she sits there with her head down for the remaining hour. Later I find out that she got a 50 in the gradebook (generous of him) and her grade went down to a 68. He wouldn't let her make it up. She made up some other assignments and the grade was raised to a 69, so she had a 69 for her report card. A bit of time passes and I forget about it. One morning, I'm called to the principal's office along with F1 and F2. Once it's made clear that no, I did not cheat on the test, I'm unpunished. Since this is the SECOND time they get caught cheating, they both get ISS. F1 and I were in National Honor Society, but I assume she was kicked out. We're still civil because they don't know I reported them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VkABgvQ6Uqa6hFKhGNhOQXjtKhdmFoNK
|
afczas
|
{
"description": "hating that my gf is asexual",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hating that my gf is asexual?
|
Just a heads up, this is probably gonna be NSFW
Okay so, I am in a w/w relationship for four years now, we are both 20, so we started dating rather early but we both had serious relationships before that, (as serious as it can get when you're fourteen).
So I love her, we work absolutely great together, I'm talking soulmate level here. I am absolutely sure I will marry this girl but that is also my problem. Since I found my perfect partner so early on, I barely had any time to experiment. I know it sounds ungrateful but my sexuality is a big part of who I am. I am very kinky and she recently found out that she is asexual and I know I should support her more, I know I should be happy for her, but here's the thing, I fucking hate it.
I sorta feel trapped because sex is not only a way to get off for me, but it's a way to be close and intimate and all that stuff and I would choose one time with her over 100 times with strangers.
Sex in general is no big deal for me, it doesn't have to have any feelings attached to it, it's just for fun if it's with someone I don't love, but in a relationship I need this aspect. That she doesn't want me, also makes me feel super unattractive.
She feels extremely guilty for "trapping" me even though I tell her that it's okay, that I have no right to demand anything but I still feel… unloved and ashamed for how I am since she is so "pure".
The worst thing about all of this is though, that since she found that label for her, my love language is being completely left behind. No more hickeys, no more making out, no more talking about anything sexual, hell we barely even kiss on the lips. She says its because she likes kisses to everywhere else more but I just feel like this is drifting more into a platonic relationship than anything else and it's just not enough for me. I do not feel loved even though I know how much she loves me.
We tried an open relationship but whenever I am with someone else, (of course she agrees first and I tell her everything), she absolutely hates it. She is crying and shaking and she feels horrible for "guilting" me into coming back, so I don't do that anymore either.
Tl;dr: AITH for needing a more physical way of relationship to feel loved?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
rFK4hgxbIdOQivKMVPTZirJqafDEMI5D
|
alv73z
|
{
"description": "assuming my supervisor hated me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for assuming my supervisor hated me?
|
Soo, this happened some while ago but it's been brought up by a coworker recently and they made it known they thought i was an asshole for doing what i did, so i needed some neutral insight on it.
Here's what happened.
​
I got a job at a fast food chain last summer during the holidays to save up some money. Worked there as a regular for three months, then became a part timer when college started again. It didn't take long until i noticed one of the supervisors was unnecessarily rude and mean to me. at first i thought it might be his personality or he must be going through a tough time, which is why he acted like he did, eg insulting me for minor mistakes, getting pissed when i didn't do smth right or didn't know how to do smth, suspecting me of talking smack about him whenever id converse with another coworker.
but then i noticed he was nice to everyone else except for me.
so then i thought ok, it must be because i'm still new and i'm not capable yet and he is simply frustrated that i'm not doing stuff right. but then we got another newbie and he was perfectly fine with that dude? they even became close friends in a short span of time. so that couldn't be it either.
i didn't even give him any reason to dislike me, i was always respectful and gave my best. all the other coworkers were telling me how they were impressed with how fast i got the hang of everything but for some reason i could never do anything right for him.
other coworkers would frequently have arguments with him that'd get personal, but he was still always friendly to them.
what's weird is that on some days he'd be incredibly nice and joke around n stuff but then turn right around the next day and be pissy again. i always blamed myself for his mood changes, thinking i must've given him some sort of reason to be this way and felt really guilty.
the thought crossed my mind that maybe he thought i hated him, for whatever reason, and that's why HE started to dislike me?? and it was just a huge misunderstanding. but i didn't know for sure.
i did confront him about it but he'd say that he didn't have any problems with me and he was treating me like he treated everyone else too.
at the end i just accepted that he hated me (and possibly thought that i hated him too?) and decided that i wouldn't try to make him like me and stopped caring. i noticed he was shittalking me behind my back to others and so i decided i wouldn't hold back either and openly voice my frustrations with him. i never attacked him personally tho, i only ever complained about how he handled things.
​
After becoming a part timer and seeing him twice a week only, he got a lot nicer. helped me convince my store manager to give me some days off, shared personal stuff with me, joked around with me. i didn't know why he suddenly changed but i didn't think too much of it. i thought that maybe he'd finally realized i didn't have any problem with him or didn't dislike me anymore. As soon as we started getting along i stopped complaining about him too. i thought it was awesome we could finally work together without that weird tension between us.
this went on for a few months, we sort of became friends. i still had some trust issues, i got anxious every time i clocked in thinking that this time he'd be mean again (since it happened in the past, he was nice for one day, then bitchy the other). but i truly wanted to forget all the conflict and just start over new. i was a good friend to him, didn't shittalk him or anything like that. i'm not twofaced like that.
but then one day i clock in and i immediatly notice he's pissed again. i shrug it off as maybe he has a bad day, but he's nice to everyone else again. i'm like oh no is it starting again??? i thought we were getting along well? towards the end of my shift he calls me aside and tells me he needs to talk to me.
he tells me a coworker told him i was talking smack abt him to everyone else while simultaneously smiling in his face and pretending to be friends. i tell him that's not true etc, i say i only did that back when we didn't get along because i thought you hated me! after arguing for a long time (some tears of frustration on my part lol) he finally decides he believes me. i apologize to him for talking abt him in the past.
we've been good work buddies ever since (it's only been 1 month lol) even tho i still get anxious that he'll suddenly change again sometimes & still don't know the reason WHY he treated me like an ass in the beginning. he seems to be over it tho and trusts me.
​
still, my coworker told me they thought i was an asshole for simply assuming that he hated me "without any proof" and being vocal about my frustrations with him. so? am i the asshole? was it wrong for me to assume he hated me and deciding that i would stop caring? should i still have been nice to him? and also- what should i have reacted like instead?
//sorry in advance for any spelling & grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
o2m6UjPURtOZUgG1gRoGM0RNeM38Gbt5
|
aupjll
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my girlfriend for trying to fix my tire without my knowledge",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For getting mad at my girlfriend for trying to fix my tire without my knowledge?
|
Late Saturday night I hit a huge pothole and it caused my tire to start leaking air. I was planning on getting it patched up yesterday, but all of the good tire shops in my area were closed for Sunday. Instead, I borrowed my gf's car to get to classes today and asked my gf to drive my car to the tire repair shop while I was gone (she does not have classes/work Mondays). However, when I was leaving I found my tire had now gone completely flat, so I texted my gf and told her not to worry about it and that I would change the tire and drive over to the tire shop myself when I got home.
After seeing this text, she did not reply and instead decided to try to drive my car with the flat over to the gas station \~0.5 mile away to fill it up with air and then go over to the tire shop from there in an attempt to surprise me by fixing my tire for me. What ended up happening was that she got about halfway there when the flat tire fell off the rim and she had to get my car towed to the tire shop. Thankfully the car/rim were undamaged and the tire was able to be patched up just fine, but it obviously cost more than it needed to with the tow. I only found all this out when I got back home and saw my car was missing.
This upset me because
1. She didn't tell me she was doing this. It is my car and she could have damaged it by driving on a flat.
2. She put herself at risk unnecessarily.
3. She cost herself money and wasted her whole day off getting my car towed unnecessarily.
I understand that she was trying to do a nice thing, but I wish she would have just left it alone. Upset as I was, when she got home I thanked her (albeit maybe a bit curtly) for trying to do something nice for me but to please at least tell me she was going to do what she did so I could tell her not to if I didn't think it was a good idea. This greatly upset her that I would be mad at her for getting my tire fixed.
AITA for not appreciating what my gf did?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
4NsNUMjo84W1IYgUMlO4qmJgyKXkGB6N
|
a95h57
|
{
"description": "hating posts whose Tl;Dr 's are basically the same as the title, providing no additionally information",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hating posts whose Tl;Dr ‘s are basically the same as the title, providing no additionally information?
|
I mean I know this is a minor thing in the grand scheme of things that get posted here, but I find it infuriating when someone has an extra long post, and the summary at the end is the exact same as the title of the post. Am I an asshole for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
gpnf1PCR8qM4zMGmCpXI4bKuDUYh4UrT
|
akt8t3
|
{
"description": "wanting to keep things 50/50 custody",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting to keep things 50/50 custody?
|
My ex wants to go pickup my son from school and that I go get him at his place instead of school.
I have been fighting for 3 years since our separation to see him the least amount possible, interact with him the least amount possible. This time he is using my schedule as an argument for getting his way. I work 8 to 4 (drop kid at school at 7:15, get him at 4:45), he works 8 to 3 and has a much shorter commute.
I just want things to be 50/50. I don't want to go get my son at his place every day...now he's throwing the you're so selfish, your personal agenda, etc insults at me and saying too bad he'll pick him up anyways and that i can go see a judge and I'll get laughed at for this....
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
fnW1ExnurAXI7eXpeTaP3YDhjXZfPafp
|
aq9mqa
|
{
"description": "ditching my friend during lunch to go home",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for ditching my friend during lunch to go home?
|
So me and my best friend have the same lunch in school and our lunches are spent exclusively together. Maybe one person joins us but other than that we really only eat with each other. So I never worry about lunch since I know I’ll have her with me.
Anyway flash forward to today and she texts me saying that she’ll be in the library, so I should meet her there since she was dismissed early, I ask if we can eat first since I was starving and I hadn’t eaten anything all day. Food isn’t allowed in the library so she said to eat without her and then go to the library.
I got irritated at how flippantly she suggested that. I have no one else to eat with so I felt she was basically condemning me to eat in the bathroom before I meet her. This isn’t the first time she’s told me to eat alone either.
Anyway since I live close by to the school I just told her that I would be going home and skipping my 4th period. She spammed me a bunch of texts saying that she had something to do in the library and to not leave. And brought up that she wouldn’t ditch me if she was in a similar situation. And that we could eat together after.
I found this hypocritical since she’s mad at me for deserting her when she’s essentially doing the same thing to me. She’s mad at me for leaving when she left me.
Anyway I felt guilty and told her that I signed out already but I could wait till she’s done in the library and then we could eat since I saw she was mad. And she told me to go and that it was fine. But obviously it wasn’t fine seeing as how she sent it like:
“ it’s fine. Go. “
Whatever I left. And her birthday is tomorrow so I feel like an asshole. Should I have been more patient?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
DcKKsFHV6KhtYT38XB7oEJ1nAYLzdPwN
|
a1jnw2
| null |
AITA: Upset that partner won’t include me online
|
Sounds petty however I’m feeling a little upset regarding how my current partner is dealing with me in the online world. I’m 21 female and they are 24 male. We’ve been dating since December 2017 and have had a break for about 2 months between April and June. We got back together but after he had “dated” another girl for 10 days, on there it was posted in photos together along with his daughter and the other woman’s daughter plus all over Instagram Facebook and the like. The relationship status changed. They split after these 10 days after it became obvious this was rebound and I decided to give him the chance after we grew close again at a festival we arranged with some other friends in January.
Since then we’ve had photos together which we never used to do and I would post them, he would occasionally like them, but he’s never changed / added to his things to include me or change his relationship. I have mentioned it that it would be nice and it is a bit upsetting, a few times however he said he will soon. He usually has it as him and his daughter which I don’t have an issue with and think is nice however it’s today he changed it to one of just him and I feel a little shunted about it. I get he likes the photo of himself however I told him I’m a little hurt I appear to be excluded from his online personal life after seeing he changed it.
AITA for being upset? I haven’t argued with him and have said to him these are my feelings I don’t need you to do anything besides understand I’m upset. It’s mainly the combination of absolutely nothing whereas the 10 day relationship was all over the fort.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZiicZ2yjheV8ikhYINZvXaVD0SY9rZW0
|
aqj7e4
|
{
"description": "refusing to hand up my phone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to hand up my phone
|
So I'm in a voluntary pseudo military organisation like the red cross there's only really 3 formal ranks per unit and the red are all skill based (emt ect) but last week in our weekly meeting that our older members usually don't go too as we actually try and learn more instead of sit around and gossip. My sister was scheduled to give a lecture. Before my sister even came into the room 3 of the older members showed up out of nowhere and saw a few of our younger members on their phones. Which one old member said he didn't like seeing them out and everyone should put them into their pockets which we respectfully did. The second old woman stood over us and said "NO they shouldn't have their phones at all" and proceeded to ask us individually for our phones. The first guy gave it up and I was second and I said "no" which seemed to stun her for a second before she asked everyone else and who all said "no I'll keep it in my pocket" keep in mind there was still no sign of my sister. After another 5 minuits she shows up and starts giving her lecture and I make a few sniggers to my girlfriend because it's my sister. Her lecture finishes and I'm called outside by the old man and was told that I am wrong. Overtly rude. The reason why all the cadets are against the seniors ect. I said no I still stand that she shouldn't be allowed to bark at us expecting everyone to give up their phones when we're all here on our own free time. I am brought inside confronted by the 3 seniors why all give their own piece if mind. I'm told I'm wrong and disrespectful. The one I said no too is a lutenent (due to her not insubstantial contribution to the unit for medical supplies. Which she got by fundraising with another group) and that "this is a military organisation and if i don't understand that now I will by the end of this" whatever "this" is. At which point they stored out and said they were reporting me to the officer in charge.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
jJQ5cCDROpcnYN6cHSGYSyzoREUQjSbH
|
b286wo
|
{
"description": "throwing water on my younger friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for throwing water on my younger friend
|
So yesterday, this friend of mine(12F) was being annoying by constantly bugging us (me(15M) and my two other friends) and coming to us back and again with water pretending they are gonna throw it at us, but they didn't . So, we also started teasing her. At one point, she throws the water at me, which wet my pants. So, I pretend as if I'm gonna take revenge, but I don't. I WA fine with teasing but I didn't want it to escalate to physical teasing. So, I do nothing.
After some more teasing,she gets so annoyed that she throws water at me again, and this time much more water, wetting my pants more. Now, I want revenge. So I go to fetch some water, but she runs to her home. And I couldn't do anything.
Today, I come at her outta nowhere and throw water at her. The amount was less than the amount she threw at me, but it was fine because I was relieved.But then, she calls her parents and they create a big hassle by blaming me for doing that to a girl, who is younger than me. I don't think that she's that young for her age to become a deciding factor for who is to be blamed (also the gender) , and neither are age gap is that wide.
But in the end , I get all the blame and scoldings and our mutual friend ( 13F who is also my crush) now thinks I'm the wrong here. And that is scaring me that I might have ruined any chances with her by looking like an asshole. Am I the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
6X4eq0iMGCtVtekn2XYTN685XgO4FAL5
|
azkjng
|
{
"description": "not tipping baristas / other behind-the-counter workers",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not tipping baristas / other behind-the-counter workers?
|
The other day I was getting bubble tea with my roommate, and after leaving I commented on how I hated that the debit payment menu asked how much you wanted to tip, and that I felt awkward typing in $0 and I wished they would just remove it. This prompted an (admittedly very civil) argument about whether you should tip the people behind the counter that prepare your drinks (such as baristas).
My logic is that they’re not providing any service- they’re not coming to a table to take my order, they’re not bringing my food to me at a table, etc- all they’re doing is putting my drink in a cup and handing it to me from behind the counter. Also, baristas and other similar workers get (at least) minimum wage, so they don’t rely on tips the way servers do.
I’ve never really second guessed this, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot since then. My roommate said she always tips if it’s an option, especially with specialty drinks like flavoured lattes and stuff. She seemed to think that not tipping is rude and acted like I was really upsetting her when I talked about why I don’t tip- the conversation ended with her saying “it’s whatever, it’s your money you don’t have to tip” and she looked upset- she made me feel like I was a really bad person for not tipping. So reddit, AITA? Should I be tipping my baristas and other behind-the-counter workers?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GLOZA5gtyvYZy6mBY9mKLrFnsNik3yMC
|
ag5m6p
|
{
"description": "distancing someone who wanted (past tense) to use me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for distancing someone who wanted (past tense) to use me?
|
Hey guys,
Recently I've been feeling guilty about something, but simultaneously feeling like I shouldn't feel guilty about it so I figured I'd bring it here.
I've been seeing this girl off and on for a while, and while nothing super serious has happened I've been distancing myself from her, and I'm unsure if that's an asshole thing to do, or if I owe her an explanation.
We had been hanging out at her place when she went to go take a shower. While she was in the shower I noticed she left discord open and decided to ctrl+f my name in the open conversation to see if I came up. (I'll explain why at the end) The first message I found kinda shook my reality. She had basically said she was using me to get over an ex, and once I had "outlived my usefulness" she was gonna ditch me. Searching a bit more she had also said that she changed her mind and thinks she might actually like me, however the first message stuck with me more.
Since then I have been Slowly cutting her out as I cannot shake the feeling that our relationship was just a game to start out and I kinda want to just get out and never talk to her again. WIBTA for this? If so, would explaining myself help my case?
Postnote: A while back I had left my discord open around her and she had searched her name in my conversations too, luckily the only message that was secretive was that I thought she had a dorky laugh. So she had been teasing me about this, I was hoping to get something to tease her back about.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
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