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|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
tWzq3gYPTtRzrtZNdgdGeuSzzOAH0S6S
|
b5y8yl
|
{
"description": "using RhymeZone in my lyrics/poems",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For using RhymeZone in my lyrics/poems?
|
I don't really plan on sharing my lyrics outside of my friends, but I wanna start posting poems to Amino. Would I be an ass if I used RhymeZone to help out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HV4JSoUGuNa1G1O6zJEHYX1UrNSFF6Tw
|
b40jgm
| null |
AITA? My mom uses my towel specifically, so I hid all of the clean towels in the house to teach her a lesson
|
I apologize if the format is bad, I’m on mobile and I’ve never posted before.
So I [19F] am in college, so I live with my mom still to save money. I buy most of my own food, clean up after myself, and clean up after my whole family (including my mom’s untrained Great Dane).
I also am the only person in the damn house (out of four adults, a teenage boy, and young sister) that washes any towels, washcloths, or dish cloths. I don’t mind it that much, since it keeps dirty towels from piling up, but there is something that irritates the living hell out of me.
I use the same two towels for up to a week (one for my head, one for my body) in order to cut down on laundry and save water. I hang my two towels up in the bathroom, and everyone knows they are mine and not to touch them.
The problem is that my mom likes to use my towels, even if there is a nice clean stack of towels in the closet that I just washed. I don’t don’t use the best towels in the house or anything, I just grab them and go. So I don’t know if she does this because she’s too lazy to grab a towel before she gets in or just to piss me off, but I find it gross. She leaves them soaking wet in the floor afterwards. And why would she prefer a used towel over a freshly washed one anyways?
Furthermore, I usually don’t realize my towels are gone until I go to get out of the bath or shower and I have to walk to right outside of the bathroom to the closet to get a towel (if there are any clean even).
I finally got so pissed off when she used my towels today, that I took all the towels I washed yesterday (two loads) and hid them in my room. She still has these small towels used more for decoration than anything that she could use, or she could wash the pile of towels she used to clean up her dog’s piss. Also, I’ll put the towels back after I feel like she has learned not to piss off the only person who washes towels in the house.
This revenge feels nice, but I don’t know if I’m actually the one acting like an ass here. Any thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
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"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
Ygux7JoaFARC2flZhw7Oax1ZatfMXjS0
|
a3lk6c
|
{
"description": "not sleeping with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not sleeping with my girlfriend
|
We hardly have sex anymore. A few times a month at most. She jokes about how we don't do it and complains sometimes. I get annoyed when she complains. I've talked to her about it over and over again. We've been together 11 months. Was sexual from the start. But about 5 months in, I stopped. Reason being, and I've told her this, "I'm not into it when I'm the only one who has to initiate. You have not once made a move on me, but you say you want us to do it. Make a move on me. All you gotta do is touch it." To this day, she has never once groped me. I've explained to her that if I'm not in the mood and she is, she can stimulate me. I've given her permission and if I really don't want to, I'll tell her. But she still has never done it, but will still complain that we don't do it anymore. Her response to my point is, "I don't really feel anything down there so I do it for you." (I've never had this problem before and don't know if this is a performance issue, or medical on her side. She had the same problem with her ex). Today she gave me this response, and I calmly told her, "You don't do anything for me though. You complain and pressure me into sleeping with you, which consists of ME doing everything. You don't do it for me. You make me do it for me." That sentence made her storm off to the bedroom to mope or be angry with me. I don't know which. And I don't know if I should feel bad for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
3pGCni7B5gSMJLKKN62krIbIXFeyETr2
|
arn49u
|
{
"description": "lending my uncle $10k, expecting to get paid $30k back",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for lending my uncle $10k, expecting to get paid $30k back?
|
This happened to me in my early 20’s when I was a college student. My uncle was in his early 30’s at the time working as nurse.
So my uncle was making great money as nurse at the time but he had money issues. I wasn’t clear on what it was but I knew he had student loans, a car loan, and he played the slot machines.
It started small. He would go to those cheque cashing places and borrow a few hundred bucks for a cost of $20. One day he asked me if I’d rather make the $20 instead of the cheque cashing places. So I’d give him small $200-300 loans from my savings, and he’d pay me back within a week, with an extra $20. This went on for maybe months.
One day he found out I had a credit card with a $10,000 limit. He then introduced me to cash advances. Before this I had maybe ever had $500 in debt, max. So he offered me a deal: $10,000 now via cash advance in exchange for $30,000 over the next 4 years. We’d meet once a month and he’d give me about $600 to cover the loan.
Now here’s where I feel at fault. Instead of using the $600 to pay off the loan, I’d instead make the minimum payment, and spend the rest. This lack of planning and responsibility completely backfired. Once my uncle paid back the original $10,000 he cut me off.
One thing I didn’t know was that he was going through bankruptcy at the time, and had a bankruptcy trustee. Sometimes he’d pay me in cash, sometimes in cheque. So basically he says “hey I’ve repaid you $10,000. We’re even. If you come after me for the rest, my bankruptcy trustee will make you pay back all of the cheques I’ve given you”. That was that. I still had roughly $10k in cash advance debt and no more payments coming in.
I didn’t talk to him for years. Fast forward to 10 years later: he’s back in my life again and is doing well. He has a $50,000 car, and has a pretty good salary and lifestyle. I’m doing ok too but I’m still bitter about the whole situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
OziHIwJfwwgdeWOmL4aaOmPIIZV30GwG
|
b2rrfx
|
{
"description": "deciding to essentially tattle on someone",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA If I decided to essentially tattle on someone?
|
So for a little context:
I am a (16f) as is the person this post pertains to. The entire situation is complicated but basically I’ve been friends with this girl since we were both toddlers. As we grew up however, the friendship became more and more toxic for me to be in, especially as we both reached middle school.
This girl would constantly make snide remarks about me, indirectly but in front of me. To this day, she still does it. And it is not just me that she does it to either. She does it to all of her “friends”. She’s just a generally toxic person to be around. Because of all this, our friendship has always been super back and forth. She’s angry at me over something at least once every few weeks, so this time didn’t seem any different. Boy was I wrong.
She recently got into a fight with some other girls, like a real physical fight. She lost the fight, and she knew it, yet when I said this, she got angry over it. She’s been angry for a few days now and she’s continuously insulting me and making stupid side comments. While annoying, it’s manageable and I can generally hold my temper about it. But more recently, the comments have started to dig a bit deeper about my weight and appearance, and this hurts because she knows how self conscious I am.
She acts like she’s untouchable but I know that I could absolutely ruin her life. The reason I am able to do so is, just this last December, I took her to a party with me. It wasn’t a big deal and I’ve took other friends to parties before but this time was different with her. She got super drunk and ended up losing her virginity to my cousin. This is common knowledge between my close circle of friends that used to include her and recently her behavior came into the topic of discussion. Someone suggested I text her mom and tell her all of what her daughter has been doing, and absolutely ruin this girl.
WIBTA If i did this?
tl;dr : i want to be petty and get revenge on someone by essentially tattling on them.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
XVuJB6vyIAFSorXsnhngAgUTFpYZ2wYh
|
aesd61
|
{
"description": "being motivated the wife feels\"inadequate\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA- Because I'm motivated the wife feels"inadequate"
|
AITA WARNING RANT-
I'm a gym goer and motivational video watching positive thinking dreamer, and apparently a asshole. My wife's put on some weight and she always almost daily says how she wants to workout and talks about her hay day. She spends crazy money on a gym membership she has been to 2 times, swim suits for the swim couch she was going to get, weight belts, wrist wraps you name it she bought it. Yet everyday she chooses to stay home(doesnt work) and play on facebook and no we have mo kids n we just turned 30. I know she has depression and I know that feeling I suffered from it as well. But now I dont, and I come home and ask her if she wants to workout or wants help working on her goals and she always is going to do it tomorrow or later. I talk about the gym and I talk about books I'm reading and positive things I'm experiencing in life to her because she is my wife. Yet my wife says "you constantly make me like I'm inadequate because you always talk about motivational bull shit and how you will help me in the gym and it makes me not feel good enough". I have never ever talked down to her or yelled. Tonight she was complaining about goe fat and out of shape she was so I tried to tell her she is beautiful and that she isn't fat. But she kept going and going and going. So I had enough I as nicely as I could said do not promise me you will start tomorrow. When asked why I said your "word has no meaning to me you've cried wolf to many times". Now she is sleeping in a hotel because I'm "horrible husband and you make me feel stupid and ugly.
Am I being a asshole? I do not know what to do for her anymore I've done everything she asks and more!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MO26TAk4wPswJxYdEb2mHRA8HPaAYci4
|
ayuyyh
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend £250 on a meal for people who had us for a week in their home",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend £250 on a meal for people who had us for a week in their home?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
|
eGos69l0UDY68zt5q6NsuuHUsJzVkBLS
|
azawp9
|
{
"description": "getting irritated at my bf for going to a store with his friend, when I've asked him 5x to go with me and he declined",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting irritated at my bf for going to a store with his friend, when I've asked him 5x to go with me and he declined
|
I wanted to go to ross for over a month and have asked him multiple times if we could go together. I wanted to buy household items since we live together and we can pick them out and he can help me carry. Ie more trashcans, bath towels, things we both need. He told me he hates ross, so I gave up. I wasn't mad just a little sad I couldn't shop with him, but I understood as my dad also hated ross.
​
The other day he was hanging out with his best friend, we hung out after and saw she bought some stuff. Which I knew instantly she got from ross because she likes shopping there too. I asked if he went with her to ross and he said yea. I then got upset because he would always tell me no and told me to go by myself. It just bugged me he put in the effort to go with her because she wanted to, (she had to buy new bedding because her dog peed in her old ones again) and yet he said no to me when I wanted to. It just felt like he didn't want to put in the effort with me.
​
He was hanging out with her because he was waiting for me to finish work since we carpool to and from home together. He said he just went to kill time. So I have this thought that since were a couple, we should understand each others wants/needs and not force him to do something.
​
So I'm annoyed right now but not sure if I have the right to be annoyed. I also could have gone to ross by myself or with his friend but I wanted to go with him to pick out stuff together. I only got annoyed after knowing he went with her, he also went in the store instead of waiting in the car till she finished like he said he would do for me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kycjx8xQJylPDgG7KkNJ9VOEOkgDdHCD
|
b3my1f
|
{
"description": "blocking older sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
Aita for blocking older sister
|
So my brother did a meme on fb about how doing house hold chores while the mans at work is a way to keep a good man and my sister commented and was being belligerent as all hell. But my sister has a thing about alcohol and her mental breaks have the same reactions. She started talking about how my brothers ex is just guilt tripping him(has not happened for a while now so it's pointless to bring up) it was all on a public feed. My brother is trying to remain sober and I dont think this public drama is good for him and I tried to tell her this as politely as possible which is when she acted like an angsty teen saying I dont know or understand her(shes 34) and saying she cant stand talking to me. She is always saying how I can come to her and she loves me but this is more truthful to me. So I said she must be drunk(she has only ever acted this way intoxicated or in an overly emotional state) and to leave me alone but she kept going soni blocked her... aita..
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KUZEMORns6fxcpswL0S8jtMyIIR7iGkl
|
aib5ly
|
{
"description": "just ignoring my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for just ignoring my friend?
|
Please don't mind the exposition I get into, it's just that I don't really know what to leave out without making this seem incomplete so I just left this long. Tl;dr at the end.
The friend (25f) (who I will refer to as R) and I (24f) met in University while I was living in Canada around 2013. We were in the same class and because her lab partner ended up dropping the class (which I don't blame her for, it was a fucking hard class😭) and we were both the only women in the class to wear the headscarf, I figured we would get to know each other anyway so I let her join our group.
That was a good idea on my part because she turned out to be interesting and funny and totally easy to hang out with.
Our friendship blossomed real quick, we were practically sisters.
We were both the only girls in our families so it was as if we were filling an empty space. Even my mom, who never allowed me to have friends when I was young (and she certainly didn't allow me to have anyone to stay over) liked R.
So, fast forward to 2015, my mom decides to move back to the US, where we were originally, so I tell R I'm moving and she and I agree to keep contact.
2016 rolls around and we make good on our promise.
2017 comes and this is the year everything kinda falls apart. Potentially.
Now, my brother is on Reddit, idk how often he uses it but he might get mad if he recognizes this story cuz it's kinda about him too. Sorry bro, but its important to me to get this question answered.
Anyway, since we're Muslim, we don't date we just get married. So since I had a friend who was a young single Muslim lady, and I had 3 brothers who were also young and Muslim, my mom got some ideas.
For the most part, I thought it was a good idea to see if she was compatible with one of my brothers (namely the one who's 22, and here on Reddit) so I decided to arrange a little meeting between them and my parents.
All parties agreed.
Now, my mom is kinda traditional in how she sees marriage. When she got married to my stepdad (who was in attendance) they talked like twice over the phone and then they were married.
R didn't want that (shocking I know), she instead wanted to talk more to my brother and get to know what kind of person he was, in terms of religion and life goals.
What she wanted wasn't too unreasonable, but my mom got slightly offended that she wasn't into marrying right away, so this meeting and all other protential meetings were soon called off.
After this event, R didn't come around anymore. We talked on the phone like, once since then and my mom is convinced that this event was the reason she's avoiding me.
I don't think it's that simple.
See, she was having alot of issues with her own family, in 2015 they came to Canada and they all took a trip somewhere and they forced her not to wear her headscarf. She was really upset about that. Plus, her family was giving her a hard time about other things too, so she was super stressed out.
I think all these factors (her family, my family, me (I'd like to think I'm a pretty considerate person but who knows if I added to her stress)) kinda burnt her out and she needed time.
So I left her alone. I messaged her once in May to tell her happy Ramadan, and once in June to inform her that my grandmother died. I'm pretty sure I didn't even know if I told her about what else happened because 2018 was a rollercoaster for me and my family.
I tried to contact her some months and months later but she never answered. I checked her Facebook to see how she's doing but there are no new posts. I even texted her once but nothing back.
At first I was like, "she needs her space", then my thoughts went to, "does she hate me?", after that they went back and forth from, "am I a bad firiend?" and, "I'm such a terrible person who never realizes how fucking stupid I am", to, "wtf she's not the only one going through shit! Why is she being selfish??"
Now I just think we no longer have any need to contact each other.
I tried to keep contact. I tried to be considerate.
Now I'm just tired.
But I still feel this guilt just eating away at me, so now I'm here to ask you internet.
Tl;dr I left my friend alone so she could deal with her shit but now, a long time later, she isn't answering my calls so I'm not going to bother contacting her again, AITA?
Please don't hesitate to tell me if this doesn't make sense.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
c1cmB7dTbiV8p6ax7Mezt6g9ghmu2syX
|
b6zvct
|
{
"description": "dumping out my friend's orange juice after he threw it at me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for dumping out my friend’s orange juice after he threw it at me?
|
So I live with 6 other housemates for college and we’re all dudes so sometimes it gets a bit hectic. This morning I was minding my own business and cooking myself some breakfast in the kitchen, kind of in the zone and not paying attention to what else was going on. All of a sudden, I got hit in the foot with a bottle of mostly empty orange juice, not enough to cause damage but enough to where I was pissed off in the moment. I immediately heard laughter, so I assumed it was on purpose to try and get some kind reaction out of me so I reacted and dumped what was left of the container (about a cup) down the sink. My friend is now really annoyed with me and other witnesses claimed I overreacted but in the moment I was pissed and it felt justified.
From my friend’s perspective (we’ll call him Mike), it was a complete accident. From his perspective, he was just tossing it to our other friend (we’ll call him Rob) to put into the fridge. When Rob failed to catch it, it hit me in the foot. Of course, this was after Rob stated that if Mike were to throw the bottle (from a good 10 feet away) that he would not try to catch it. Personally, I think he could’ve just gotten up and walked to the fridge to put it away.
So reddit, am I the asshole? Should I buy Mike more orange juice or are we even?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
sDcqW4S77uajRXsyo2caO7BhH5Eis4tg
|
a8j2tc
|
{
"description": "slowly breaking off a lifelong friendship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for slowly breaking off a lifelong friendship?
|
I have been best friends with this one girl for almost 15 years. Same school. Same smallish town. Both only children. We always used to call ourselves sisters. Our parents are very close friends, and we’ve taken vacations, spent holidays together, and know their extended family well.
I went to college out of state, and have spent every summer since away interning or studying. We’ve only been able to see each other maybe four times a year. However, these catch-up times have been getting more and more off-putting.
While I love college in a new environment and have really come out of my shell and found what I love to do, she goes to an in state college and absolutely hates it. She has no friends, hates her classes and major, hates her entire college and, according to her, is miserable all the time. The only thing in her life that she likes is her high school boyfriend who is going to college in a different state. Also, he’s a total asshole who has insulted my intelligence to my face in front of her multiple times, so it’s not really something that helps the situation. I’ve tried to be supportive and be there for her and offer advice, but she is just completely apathetic.
Part of me hopes that all this misery that is going on is temporary and we’ll get back on our “sisters” vibe once she graduates, but I don’t know if I have that kind of time left. I will graduate this year and I will be moving across the country for work. In the mean time, I have been avoiding her during winter break because it is just not fun to talk to someone who says nothing except how everything is horrible and she hates her life.
So, AITA if I slowly ghost out of this friendship until I move away?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
J8Ky88k9SMgjI7rMkfY0EoBHaVTnSkvZ
|
b5xrfm
|
{
"description": "accepting my friend's $20 \"gas money\" after helping him to drive to a meet to sell his phone but he got robbed instead",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for accepting my friend's $20 "gas money" after helping him to drive to a meet to sell his phone but he got robbed instead?
|
The gas money was agreed before the meet up. He wanted me to pick him up and drive him to a meet where he sells his phone. I drove a lot but I enjoyed it regardless due to a lot of conversation between us. We're new friends which is the reason why hes paying for my time. We're not that close friends yet.
Anyway, He got robbed and he lost his expensive (old) phone. I rejected his gas money but he insisted on it.
I'm disappointed that I couldn't stop this from happening and I dont feel well accepting his money.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
UJFQl7Gj5dD0y2SIaZI7NX7W4D0XFnwz
|
a8zmqz
|
{
"description": "not liking a single person",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not liking a single person?
|
So, this person fucking irritates the living hell out of me, why doesn’t anyone else seem to not like him? Who likes people who are controlling? I just hate people who think that you have to do something just because they said you should. I guess I’m the only person that I’m friends with who doesn’t like this particular person. For real though, why try to force and guilt someone into doing something that they don’t want to do in the first place. Saying that you’ll be disappointed in me if I don’t do something despite the fact that I barely know you is such a dick move.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
vrLJ3YWsfkrz9s8GTTnOk3J1lSxSoS2J
|
9v2sc2
|
{
"description": "not letting my grandmother visit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Not Letting My Grandmother Visit?
|
My grandmother stays with my SO and I every so often, she tries to do so monthly but it ends up being every 3 - 4 months or so. She stays a couple of nights, we have a small apartment so it means shes on our couch. It's been a few months since her last visit and me and my SO find her visits harder to deal with. She's a nice lady but we find her to be very overbearing and she is always making comments and asking the same questions and wants to know what we are doing every minute of the day. I can't use my phone without her asking me about what I'm doing on it, or watching over my shoulder. We do go out for the day when she visits, but my SO doesn't like to join us because he has a severe panic disorder. This always prompts dozens of questions, usually the same ones each time, where my SO has to explain that he is recieving treatment etc but his issues are pretty complex and are probably going to require years of rehabilitative therapy.
We're both beginning to dread her visits because it means she's in our personal space for a long period of time. I'm on the autism spectrum, so I probably find this kind of thing more overwhelming than the average person. She doesn't want to stay in a B&B and the distance makes it difficult for her to only visit for one day. I can visit her, but I struggle a lot with being away from my home and my SO isn't able to join me. Am I the asshole here? She's started calling weekly trying to arrange her next visit, we've told her we're busy but she's accusing me of avoiding her.
​
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aodoja
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"description": "wanting my parents to get a divorce",
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|
AITA for wanting my parents to get a divorce?
|
(Writing this on mobile sorry)
So context time:
My (real) mom and dad split when I was about one. I lived with my mom up until I was about 4 and my dad met my stepmom when I was 3. They had my half sister when I was 4 and moved in together when I was 7. They got married when I was 13. Now, I am currently 18.
I wouldn’t say I was really “abused” but my stepmom has basically been a pain in my ass since I started to leave my childhood innocence and blind obedience behind. I got severe depression and anxiety when I was 12. My depression honestly came out of nowhere. I sort of think it was because I hung out with some bad people and a lot of my friends were depressed but honestly I don’t know. I can’t completely blame my stepmom for this because she didn’t know I was depressed and how bad it made me feel. I would binge eat a lot during this time and would often eat leftovers in the fridge. My stepmom would yell at me that I didn’t ask, I was eating too much, or I ate her lunch. On days I felt really bad because of her yelling I wouldn’t eat anything so she would yell at me that I needed to eat something. Sometimes I would cry or talk to my dad and say I was sorry and that I didn’t mean to eat her food and such. My dad would sometimes tell her how I feel and she would come upstairs crying and telling me that I must hate her and blame her for my parents breaking up and that I make her cry and feel bad because I never talk to her, etc. She still does this to this day. She also tends to yell at me and my dad if he ever gets me anything. I used to go grocery shopping with him every weekend and I would get a couple things to hold me over for the week and she would get mad that I’m getting ‘expensive’ food. Even though I do check prices and just try to get enough food so I don’t starve as I get yelled at for eating anything at the house already.
My dad is always telling me how bad things when we talk. My dad and her both were supposed to have a plan where she pays for groceries and makes dinner and my dad pays the majority of the bills. Somehow though she spends all her money and then basically complains that she has no money to buy anything until my dad just says he’ll pay for it. He also gets angry that she basically gives my sister whatever she wants. Expensive clothes, shoes, furniture, even bought her a dog for her birthday last year that he DID NOT agree to.
I have honestly tried so hard to get along with her but I literally feel like I want to die when I go home sometimes because of how she acts. I feel like an absolute asshole when I say it but I genuinely wish they would get a divorce because I love my dad so much and I just think it’s a shit show at home.
So what do you guys think? Am I the asshole? I want to hear people’s honest opinions.
Also let me know if you need more info! I was very sporadic when typing this and I’m sure there are many incidences I left out.
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{
"description": "not getting my sister an engagement present",
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|
WIBTA if I don't get my sister an engagement present?
|
Hey,
I'm a student and I work casually, so I don't have much money. I will definitely get her a wedding present, but should I get her an engagement present too?
She said she doesn't care about receiving engagement presents, but my mum and partner both think I should - I don't know if my sister is just saying she doesn't care because she knows I don't have much money and she's trying to spare me the stress. As far as I know there will be no engagement party, and there will be travel + accomodation costs associated with the wedding - not sure if those details make a difference.
Obviously not a major conundrum, I mostly just want peace of mind regardless of whether I get an engagement present or not.
​
Thanks!
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| null |
AITA for wanted proof my brother did what people are accusing him of?
|
A few months ago, a girl came up to me and made me aware that apparently my brother had sent unsolicited dic picks to at least one girl and considering I dont have the highest view of my brother, I didn't question it. Apparently, it was even posted on a group chat.
A few months have past, an my mother finally figured it out. However, upon questioning, this girl has 1) backtracked and said she wasn't sure it was my brothers, it just came from his account 2) when asked for evidence, admitted she didn't have any 3)told my mother that the group chat never existed but 4) told me that the group chat existed, and she posted a dic pic to it, but It wasn't his?
AITA for wanting the whole story, or should I believe the girl??? I feel bad, because she seemed nice and didn't have a reason to lie??
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{
"description": "pointing out my partner is financially underachieving",
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|
aitah for pointing out my partner is financially underachieving?
|
AITAH for pointing out that my partner could be earning a serious larger amount of money than I do by either committing to work full-time at he job or by committing to take on more people in her private business which is a similar thing to her day job but aimed at a different audience?
backdrop to this is that we have a reception schooler who she wants to be around for, her father recently passed away, both our parents live a significant distance away (hers more than mine).
the flipside is that by working standard office hours with no requirement for overtime she could earn around £9,000 more than I straight off the bat, she is significantly more qualified, we have a house which needs a fair amount of work (urgently in some aspects), she puts limits on when she will work privately (effectively capping her potential income), if I shifted position (without having undertaken costly further education) the likelihood of me being able to earn anything more than I currently do is slim to none without risking it all and becoming a contractor with no guarantied income or that I would find employment nearby.
Is it fair that she gets angry at the near raising of the topic? Is it fair that I get accused of being the asshole...an unreasonable bully even?
I get it...she's under stress and has no desire to progress into a managerial position and I get that her job is stressful.
Does the fact that I'm working a job I don't exactly enjoy, with no real prospect of progression, and no real chance of anything more than a side step into the unknown (better the devil you know kinda thing) have any bearing?
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{
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to pay for my travel costs",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
WIBTA for wanting my girlfriend to pay for my travel costs?
|
My girlfriend and I live in two separate states in the US. She is currently in college, and I have a job. She will be in a nearby state for a school club activity, and I am planning on visiting there to support her. [She would be upset if I did not visit.] **She wants to split the expensive housing cost for the weekend.**
Since she is in college, her meals, tuition, etc. are all paid for by her parents. She has a job on campus that pays for her housing and pays a stipend. She has more in her savings than I do, up to a factor of five. My job pays, not well, and my pay will be decreased next year. [Note: for career/personal reasons, it would be unwise to change jobs.] In the past two months, I have spent just under $1,000 in travel costs to visit her. This has, in part, led me to be in a tight financial situation until I can recover that loss back. She has spent about half of that to visit me last semester. Her busy schedule does not permit her to visit me this semester (mostly due to this club activity).
Is it unreasonable for me to want her to pay for these housing costs? When I voiced my concerns about splitting the bill, she brought up her own concerns about not having enough in savings and how she hasn't been saving money recently. This feels frustrating to me, as she has far more in savings than I do, has a greater opportunity to save than I do, and has spent less on travel for us to be together than I have.
That said, it feels shitty for me to confront her with those thoughts. It seems accusatory and selfish, especially if she is already concerned about her own finances.
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| null |
AITA - Am I just the asshole friend? (Minecraft story)
|
Little bit of backstory here
A group a friends of mine all decided to play minecraft again at around the same time, we booted up the relic and decided to create a survival world with anything and everything. We binged Avatar: The Last Airbender then decided we wanted to make a replica 4 nations from the show to minecraft world to the best of our ability through survival - hard mode.
FF 3 months and we finished the Eastern and Western Air Temple, the Northern and Southern Water-Tribe locations made a giant ass Lion Turtle that swims around thanks to some fancy redstone and pistons that push it, and were working on the giant Banyan grove tree (the giant ass tree swamp).
We found a fortress and decided to kill the ender dragon to get to the end city where they have the elctras to go fly around. We kill the dragon and all got off except for the host, the next day the host told us he turned on cheats and was flying around because it took a while to search through the end city and wasn't all that fun without everybody else on to faf about with. Now, this is where everything drops, he didn't realize that doing so would fuck everybody else in regards to the world was now listed as a creative world. The only evidence that we did what we did in survival was word of mouth, I stated that the "fun" of the world has been lost due to the fact that I didn't know if flying was all he did and there was a new surplus of materials.
Some may argue that the fun came of playing together with what we did, but i'm just the kind of guy that found the fun in working for it with the endless hours of grinding to finally have the final product before you, the satisfaction that I held for anything we did after the fact was lackluster and absent. The others in the group were not as annoyed as I was with the host viewing it as both an honest mistake and the fun is in doing everything together.
So.. the question for the day, Am I the Asshole?
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{
"description": "having to kiss someone else while in a relationship",
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"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for having to kiss someone else while in a relationship
|
Just some background me and my girlfriend have been happily dating for a year and a couple months now and we both enjoy doing theater
That being said here comes the story
A little over a month ago me and my girlfriend both decided to audition for our schools play/musical leading to me getting a lead role in the play I auditioned for and she got a lead role in another play/musical. In my role however there is an on stage “affectionate” scene where I have to kiss the leading female role which is a girl I know but have no history with no feelings for etc...
The show is almost exactly a month from now and my girlfriend is clearly getting upset by the fact that me and the other lead have to kiss but won’t admit she’s upset. Also says she does not me to drop to show and I don’t want to drop the role it’s the first and last time I’ll ever have a lead role as this is my last show before I graduate (not going to pursue theater after I graduate) and it’s a role and show I really enjoy.
Am I the asshole for wanting to continue with my role?
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RIGHT
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a1kbre
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{
"description": "not comforting my sister",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not comforting my sister
|
My sister recently tried out for something and she didn't get into the team, she came into my room and started celebrating until she opened the email and found out she didnt get in. She didnt say anything but she left silently. After that I continued playing a game and didn't go to comfort her as she would just have shouted at me to go away, so I didnt do anything and continued on my way, she hasn't talked to me since
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{
"description": "contributing to a friends unhappiness and preventing a potential \"Youtube Career\"",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For contributing to a friends unhappiness and preventing a potential "Youtube Career"?
|
So, a friend of mine had an issue with his computer where his mic wasn’t working with it and the computer was slow. I tried to help him since he actually asked in a public chat on Discord. I was going to suggest that perhaps there were too many apps or programs running at once and all that. The common stuff. Keep in mind this was a new computer which I think was an Acer Nitro 5. Apparently, it started getting slow 3 days ago. My knowledge of computers is quite scarce but I tried to suggest a few things to help and even help him with the mic when we got to that...
I then asked him what he could’ve downloaded which he thought could’ve potentially been malicious. He just responded “…”. I was confused. He then told me the conversation was done and goodbye. I was extremely confused so I confronted his sudden anger. I’ve heard that he’s gotten angry before in the past over minor things. I then flipped and just told him to get fucked, that I was only trying to help. He then went on a rant about how YouTube is his only thing and how he doesn’t fit in with people. He even said he wanted to kill himself.
I feel bad but I don’t know if I should at this point. I’ve thought about it a lot. I feel like the “You’re not listening” and the lack of knowledge made me feel like an ass.
Relevant screenshots of the DM in chronological order (*I’m the guy in orange*):
[https://i.imgur.com/5zWRxSF.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/5zWRxSF.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/VTvLwE9.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VTvLwE9.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/WVMnnJX.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/WVMnnJX.jpg)
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akft4a
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{
"description": "opening my brother's side window to tell some guys they were very sad",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA? I opened my brother's side window to tell some guys they were very sad
|
My brother and I were getting Pizza from a local place. The most convenient parking space was directly opposite the pizza shop where some guys (maybe late teens early 20s) were chilling. I opened the door to make sure I was in the lines and noticed I wasn't. One guy pointed this out to me. I said cheers for helping and we went to get pizzas. I could already tell they were a bit pissed that I parked there (maybe the car lights were shining in their eyes or something?).
We got back in the car and I turned lights on (it was night). Some of the guys start making quite vulgar movements (pretty typical stuff like middle finger and thrusting etc). One of the guys starts shouting something through my brother's window (not sure what but pretty sure it wasn't flattering). This really annoyed me, so I opened my brother's window a little bit and said "you lot are very sad mate". At this point, the guy opens the door on my brother's side whilst I'm reversing out of the parking space. I then proceed to say "wow, you opened the door. That showed us!". Luckily, nothing further happened but reflecting on it now, I think I may have put my brother in harms way unnecessarily. I had no idea how far they would escalate the situation (admittedly I escalated it as well). Not that my brother can't take care of himself. In my mind I thought I'd just point out that their behaviour was immature, but they may have responded violently. That would have put them in the wrong but my poor judgement may mean I'm also in the wrong here. I leave it to you guys as my mind is a mess right now (I have arguments and literally shake during/after them). I have already apologised to my brother as I should probably have just left.
To clarify, if it had got violent I would obviously step in and take the beating.
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b6smt4
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{
"description": "not backing up a friend who had a bad history with a new friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
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}
|
AITA for not backing up a friend who had a bad history with a new friend?
|
It started awhile back at a youth group weekend me, the "long-time" friend (L) and the "new" friend (N) all attended. Before this weekend I had never met N but we basically ended up having to drive up together with how the carpooling worked out. We ended up hitting it off really well on the ride. L and N really never interacted apart from maybe a quick sentence here and there that weekend. I didn't think much of it at the time.
The week after, N and I hung out often because we got along really well. At youth group the next week I was social with both and L realized then that an actual friendship had formed between N and me.
As such the next day L took me aside and told me that N had 'wronged' his sister, that it was a very serious thing that really 'damaged' his sister and she did seek therapy. I had only known his sister for around half a year and apparently this was all well before I met her. However, out of respect for his sister's privacy he wouldn't go into any detail about what happened. Just that N was terrible and that I shouldn't associate with him as that is supporting someone who did an 'evil' act and not the victim (the sister).
I told him that I was sorry to hear that all happened but since I was a complete outsider to this incident and didn't know really any of the details that I don't feel comfortable just abandoning N especially when we get along well and I literally have no idea what is going on and would prefer to stay neutral due to that.
Two things of note is that while the sister was somewhat standoffish at times, her and N were many times friendly and would chat at group events and online with each other. I doubt L was lying to me though because I do know that his father was not happy with them interacting due to a 'past incident'. I actually heard the father say this to other adults at church. FTR I don't know the sister's actual feelings on the subject though that to this day they continue to be cordial.
I did make an effort to not hang out with them together due to this. The only time we all would interact was at church or other social events anyone could attend. At those everyone was civil but because I would interact equally with both L wasn't happy. I severely doubt that L's actions were out of jealousy and I do believe that something probably did happen in the past which caused the animosity.
Basically in the end due to this and some other irrelevant issues L and my friendship ended. No big fight or anything but he did feel betrayed. N and I aren't close due to distance and I never asked him what happened due to feeling it wasn't my business.
Still, every now and then I get that nagging feeling that I should have had L's back and trusted him on this instead of putting his feelings aside for a new friend who I really didn't know that well. I don't know if this would have salvaged a friendship but there are times I wonder "what if." So reddit AITA?
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b05m5w
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{
"description": "being upset about not seeing a movie",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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}
|
AITA for being upset about not seeing a movie.
|
A friend sent out a group text asking to see Captain Marvel. Most people couldn't make it but me and one other friend said yes. After finding out the time to see the movie was late in the day the other friend canceled. I needed a ride (recently lost my car) and she said she could pick me up.
Around the start time of the movie i didn't hear back from her so i asked if she was still going to pick me up. She then told me that since the other friend canceled that i was canceling as well and went to see the movie anyways. Since i didn't confirm i was still wanting to go i was blamed for not responding and was left out.
Was it my fault for not confirming again that i wanted to go? I got a bit upset at this and don't want to talk to her for a while.
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RIGHT
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|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my SIL is on her phone while visiting",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my SIL is on her phone while visiting?
|
My SIL insists on binge-watching Netflix shows with me - gets mad if I watch without her, it's our "girl time".
But all this past week we are watching, I'll hear "tap tap tap" - she's on her phone playing Words With Friends. This is annoying as fuck to me. She is apparently playing with dozens of people and must "keep up".
At first I asked her to turn it off while we are watching and she swears "no I am watching it I can do two things at once!" I asked if the shows we've been watching bore her, or if she wants to do something else besides our Netflix binge. Nope, she says, she's perfectly happy. Can we make a deal to put our phones away while watching? Nope, she says, and she does have a good excuse because her son is often sick and she has to be available in an emergency.
It pisses me off. I try very hard to ignore it. The sound kills me. AITA? How do I get past this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b4lzkm
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{
"description": "not buying a gift for a bridal shower because I am baking cookies",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I don't buy a gift for a bridal shower because I am baking cookies?
|
To preface this - I don't really know anything about weddings. This is the first bridal shower I've ever gone to and I actually had to google what a bridal shower even is (and I'm still not really sure?)
Anyways. My bf's sister is getting married and her bridal shower is next month. Over Christmas this last year I made sugar cookies with royal icing and shared with bf's family. They enjoyed it so his other sister (not the one getting married, she's the MOH and setting up the bridal shower) asked me if I could make some sugar cookies for the bridal shower. I agreed. Now I am no professional baker/cookie decorator. The cookies I made at Christmas was actually the first time I've ever decorated cookies, so I am still pretty slow and clumsy at all of it. I estimate that the 30 cookies she asked me to make will take maybe like 6 hours total to bake and decorate?
So my question is, WIBTA if I treated these sugar cookies as my present to the bride instead of purchasing a present off the registry? Or should I still plan on bringing a present since it wasn't the bride that asked me to bake these?
|
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ammw1m
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{
"description": "withholding relationship information from a friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For withholding relationship information from a friend?
|
Note this is a throw away and the story spans a coupe of years.
One night in college my friends threw a small party in their dorm. Friend A and B live in the dorm with others, but only friend A and B matter here. Friend A's girlfriend at the time came down to visit and party with friends (were all friends from highschool). Dorm ends up pretty filled with people, everyones drinking. A's girlfriend ends up drinking too much and you can tell she's about to start crying. I don't remember where A was or what he was doing, but I decide to rush A's girlfriend off to one of the rooms to calm her down, the tears are flowin' at this point. I sit her down and give her the whole "its fine, your just drunk" routine but the valves are open now and the tear ducts are operating on full throttle. She starts spilling her guts. Secrets I didn't need or want to hear.
Among many unrelated things, she told me that she had cheated on A and that she was thinking of breaking up with him for various reasons. She made me promise not to tell A and said that she would tell him soon. Some time passes she stops crying and we leave the room. More time passes and I pull A into a room privately and told him that his girl was thinking of breaking up with him and I gave him the reasons why. Basically just made and broke my promise to her in the span of 10 minutes. But I withheld the part where she cheated. We talk about it and leave the room.
A month later, she tells him and to the best of my knowledge, it really sucked for him. They continue to date.
Now the part that matters. Fast forward two years. We are all partying at a friend B's house. A and his girl have recently split up. At some point I have told A that she had told me she cheated before she told A. Nothing had really come of it at this point. A and I have talked about their relationship many times and I feel like everything was covered. At the party I announce that I'm going to go to the driveway to smoke, friend B follows. Somehow friend A comes up as a topic of discussion. B lets slip that another friend (friend who knew everything before anybody else) isn't at the party because everyone was upset that he had not told friend A about his ex-girlfriends secrets ( the ones regarding cheating and drama) when it was all occurring (mind you he was the girls best friend). I noted that I didn't tell A about it when I knew because I was asked to keep it a secret and maybe he was doing the same. B says that A was upset with me because of it but I atleast told A that she was thinking of breaking up with him. B tells me that it was a shitty thing to do and then said in a demanding voice "You need to apologize to him!" (keep in mind A and B have been friends since they were kids). I didn't like the way he said that to me, so I'm now pretty insulted and say "Okay, lets go do this right now". I find him in the middle of the party (he's really drunk) I ask "Are you mad at me about \*girl\* ?". He replies something along the lines of "not really mad but I was upset about it". I think the party kinda swept him away before I could apologize, so I don't think I ever really apologized. But all the times I've seen him after that we seem to be fine. We talk like always and share more interests now then we ever did before.
Later on I found out that everyone in the friend group thought that I had a thing for A's girlfriend for various reasons (I did not have a thing for her). I don't know if thats important information here.
So AITA that B seems to have made me out to be for not telling A about his girlfriend cheating?
We've all been good friends and I never intended to hurt A by withholding information. This is all water under the bridge now, nobody seems to bring it up (to the best of my knowledge), but it's been eating away at me for a while.
​
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"description": "disagreeing heavily with my girlfriends point of view",
"pronormative_score": 4,
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|
AITA for disagreeing heavily with my girlfriends point of view?
|
We're all 19/20 years old.
My 'friend' is/was my best friend, but I don't call her that because my girlfriend has easily surpassed that now and it feels wrong. I've been dating my girlfriend for about 7 months. She's had 2 ex boyfriends. This is my first serious relationship.
​
I've know my friend for 4 years. After a few months I developed a crush that was on and off for \~1 year. She lives interstate and my crush was only apparent when I saw her which was rare, otherwise I felt nothing. The feelings were mutual but we didn't know until she admitted it \~2 years into the friendship. At this point I was over my feelings so we talked about it and both agreed nothing would happen. This was well before I met my girlfriend. Nothing has changed and if anything it has made us better friends - it's isn't awkward at all. Our relationship has always been based on friendship, my intention was never to get in her pants or be with her, it was a harmless crush. We've never even so much as kissed or flirted with each other. Our conversations essentially just consist of general conversation or asking for advice/ranting about things, and we only talk a few times a week. She's a big part of my life, but not my day to day life.
Early into the relationship with my girlfriend I told her briefly about the situation because it was relevant to something and I thought nothing of it. In hindsight that was pretty stupid but what's done is done.
​
It's an awkward situation and I'd feel uncomfortable if it was reversed and I'm not saying her feelings are invalid, but I literally find it unfair the way she compares it. She views my friend as an ex. She said it's the same as if she was still friends with her ex, or *even a guy she hooked up with.*
I just think it's bullshit because we've never had a romantic, or sexual connection and we have no romantic feelings attached to any shared memories. I can' fathom how this is the same as being friends with an ex and I'm upset she even compared it to that because I feel like she can use this as justification for getting back in contact with someone like that.
I've NEVER prioritised my friend over my girlfriend and never will.
​
AITA for not understanding, and disagreeing heavily with, her point of view?
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"description": "not needing help",
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AITA for not needing help
|
So here's a little backstory. About two months ago I made a joke to my friends about going home and crying because of how depressed I am. This is not factual and was a joke, but apparently this joke was very convincing because from that point on my friends are constantly asking how I'm doing and being hypersensitive around me. At first I shrugged it off, but as two months came and went it has gotten extremely annoying. I have told my friends that am I fine and do not have serious problems with my mental health again and again to no avail. I have class with my friends (Let's call them Mark and Jan) on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It is a pretty chill class, so we usually chat while painting, but as it is now finals week and we have two full paintings due in a week so I have been busting my ass to finish them both. Now you're caught up here is what happened.
So I get to class early and pop in my headphones and start working. Mark and Jan show up and I say hi, Mark proceeds to analyze how I said hi and come to the conclusion that I am in a deep depression. I tell them yet again I am fine and continue to work. We chat a little here and there but I am mainly just working and listening to music. The class ends we all leave, I say bye and I'm off. Later that night, I get a text from Jan saying "How are you." This is weird because I and Jan don't talk very much out of class due to the fact that we are mainly friends because we both are friends with Mark. At this point I know that the text has ulterior motives than just wanting to chat so I say "I'm good Jan and I just want to say that I am not seriously depressed, I am not planning on commiting suicide or any other form of harm against myself or others and never will and I am tired you both you and Mark constantly asking me how I'm doing." She immediately texts back and says "I know and I was just wondering." and never says anything else. So now I'm here wondering Am I the Asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "trying to help my colleague and his gf",
"pronormative_score": 4,
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|
AITA for trying to help my colleague and his gf
|
For context, I live in America and work for a crappy little retail store.
One of my colleagues (Matt) has recently had a baby with his gf. Both the mum and the dad are in the early 20s and don't have family living nearby.
Last week when Matt came to work he was pretty stressed that his gf didn't want him to leave. He said she was constantly calling him and trying to guilt him into coming home. I tried to offer him my shift the following day so we could swap but she got even more annoyed.
Eventually he told her he needs to work and she was okay by herself. She the proceeded to call him and tell him she had cut herself and he needed to come home.
I gave him a lift home and in the car he broke down. I asked if he was going to be okay, saying I could help and he asked me to come in.
We got to the house and I told her if she wanted me to leave I would go but I wanted to see if she was okay and offer any help. The baby was crying at the time and she was ignoring him so I asked her permission to pick the baby up. She said yes so I calmed him down while they talked. Matt calmed her down and got the baby a bottle. I fed the baby. I said again to his gf if she wanted me to leave I would. She said no it was okay.
I told her she was incredible for having the baby etc and kept complementing her so she felt a bit better. I stayed maybe an hour until the baby was settled and Matt had control of the situation.
Matt came in to work recently, said she is doing much better but she was mad at me, for touching her baby and offering to help with the baby. (I told her if she needed anything to call me and I'll be there for them, then told her if she needed a break or anything I could help babysit).
She told Matt I didn't give her much of a choice which I disagree with. Matt defended me and told her he asked me to help but I feel guilty.
AITA for going over? Should I have? I feel like what I did was right as we didn't know how bad she had hurt herself etc at the time but I'm really paranoid now that I've heard I upset her.
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HISTORICAL
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9tdaqr
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"description": "breaking it off with my gf when she kissed me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
Aita for breaking it off with my gf when she kissed me
|
I asked this earlier but I dont fell like I explained it well. Short story she kissed me while sleeping . She had a mouth herpes outbreak .I was unaware she even had cold sores.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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ank5fg
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{
"description": "calling out my friend for getting blackout drunk at my place",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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}
|
WIBTA if I called out my friend for getting blackout drunk at my place?
|
I live with my parents and they had no idea this was going to happen. They’re very strictly against drinking, too. I get that I shouldn’t have invited her over to drink if they’re against it, but I’m also underage and there’s nowhere else we could go. I also thought it was going to be harmless fun (I was wrong).
I invited her over and we decided to get drunk. We never talked about how far we could go. She comes over, we drink a bit, I get just a bit tipsy, and she keeps cranking open new bottles. At some point, I told her I’m not comfortable with her drinking more, she kept drinking. It was at a point where I literally had to physically restrain her from drinking.
Now the other thing is, she has really bad mental health issues. She takes a shitton of sleeping pills normally, like 10-15 a day, and when she does, she sometimes threatens suicide and starts talking about really horrible things in her past incoherently. Basically does things she then wakes up regretting. “Drunk” talking, I suppose.
Now I’m saying this insinuate that she knows how she gets when really drunk and yet she still did it. At my house. With my mom home. Even though I clearly told her she can’t know about it. She had a full-on mental breakdown, kept crying loudly, saying “I’m worthless” over and over again. I held her until she slept. Now she’s sleeping in my room, keeps waking up every once in a while and starts saying random shit. I had to make up a lie and tell my mom that it was the pills because she heard her. I’m extremely embarrassed and couldn’t sleep (I also have to wake up tomorrow and get some shit done, which she knows about) because I’m worried she’s going to bother my mom or do something to herself.
So WIBTA if I called her out? Or shall I just pretend it’s all good because of her mental health?
|
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avxohq
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"description": "not wanting to help someone because they broke my heart",
"pronormative_score": 8,
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|
AITA for not wanting to help someone because they broke my heart?
|
So I'm gay in a small town with just under 350 people in Montana. I found out I was gay along with my feelings about my best friend since kindergarten, but he got with a girl. As a general "he has a right to know" I let him know how I felt, but after that whenever I was around he passionately flirt with his girlfriend in front of me, including at my own house. I was fully prepared to just be friends, but that doesn't mean it hurt any less. One day he did something to provoke me, and I snapped. Between how I had been feeling and what he was doing, I walked to the train tracks and waited for a train, whether I was on or under it I didn't care. Eventually, it came forwards that his girlfriend had been cheating on him, and I was turned to by the friend group for his emotional support. Just as I was trying to leave his life he needed me, so I helped him. We became friends again, but he kept doing flirty things like trying to hold my hand and be close to me. Even when I tried to hang out *as friends* he either blew me off or tried being flirty.He tried acting like nothing happened, but I was having none of it, so I stopped contact with him. Summer break blows by and school comes again. He tries being my friend, **again acting like nothing happened**, but I am completely ignoring him. I was told his parents had a drunken falling out, and he's in a rough spot, but if I'm being honest I don't even want to acknowledge his existence. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ah5bdg
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{
"description": "ending a friendship by disconnecting their electricity on an ice cold night",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for ending a friendship by disconnecting their electricity on an ice cold night?
|
My best friend of 15 years, and the best man at my wedding, "Donny" \[32m\] is super fun to hang out with, and is usually up for anything. We've gone on countless adventures together - sailing, backpacking, camping, ATVing, lan parties (showing our age!), motorcycle trips, canoe camping, etc.
The problem is, he's never really gotten his shit together. He hasn't held a job for longer than a year, and has lived no less than 20 places in his life. After his girlfriend of 9 years cheated on him, got pregnant during the fling, guilted him into being the father while debating an abortion, then had a miscarriage... he decided to finally seek professional help, and end that relationship. He's been diagnosed with depression/ADD/alcoholism/anxiety and is taking prescribed medication to work through those issues.
To make matters worse, for the past few years he's been living with his narcissistic mom. But it's okay because she's a changed woman, and now dishes out cutting remarks with a smile and a soft voice. Donny thinks she can be annoying, but not "all that bad."
I strongly disagreed, and after working though my own issues with narcissists, I wanted to help him get out of that environment and start a life of his own. He had been making such good progress seeking help and going on medication I thought she was the last thing holding him back.
He's never actually lived on his own. He's always lived/been supported by other people, including his mom and me in the past. After I lived alone in a private seasonal campground for a month to get my own head on straight about some issues I was dealing with, I thought how great of an opportunity it would be for him to live there full time. He could buy a camper for 5-7k, and pay $1500 in rent each year for the plot. Cost of living would be extremely low ($125 rent/month - plus food, electricity and propane). It's filled with friendly blue-collar workers who leave their campers there year round and treat it like a vacation cabin. They are all having a blast, drinking, socializing, telling tall tails, driving around in golf carts, etc. It's just a fun place to be, and an upgrade from his only other realistic option - a trailer park. The mood at a trailer park is different I'd think... most people live there out of necessity not desire, and that probably wouldn't help him with his mental health.
He thought the camper/campground was a great idea so I helped him pick out an old 26 foot camper, inspect it (surprisingly good shape), talk the seller down ($1200 to $800) and borrow a friends truck to tow it home. He paid for it of course. I told him he could live in it at my house as long as he paid his own electricity and didn't barge in to our house without first calling/texting. The plan was for him to live in it, fix it up, then sell it and upgrade to a better 5-7k camper and ultimately move into a seasonal campground. (They have restrictions on age/condition of the campers they let in.) We set an August 1st 2019 move out deadline (about a year).
During this time my wife and I were planning our honeymoon - sailing around the Virgin Islands. Then Hurricane Irma hit, destroying everything on the islands. We decided on Costa Rica for our honeymoon instead. The charter company in the Virgin Islands could only give credit rather than a refund, so we planned to go the following year. (Quick note, we are not rich and these two trips were very expensive for us. We had only budgeted for one.) I suggested that we turn it into a trip with friends since plane tickets were only $400 round trip. Since we had already paid for the boat, it wouldn't cost any more to bring a few people along. So we invited Donny and my wife's friend "Sarah". Both single, but they didn't hit it off. They only had to buy plane tickets, and pay their own expenses like food, taxis and souvenirs - we would cover the \~4k boat rental.
They were invited in April, and we planned to fly there in December - 8 months later. I kept everyone updated by email with itineraries and estimated personal costs as I planned out the trip.
At some point during all of this, Donny has moved into his camper at my house, begins reverting to old ways, stops showing up for his full time job, and gets fired. He picks up a part time job where he has the option to work 40 hours a week, but can work as much or as little as he wants. He of course picks the latter. I'm beginning to suspect that he won't have enough money for the trip so I ask him about it. He assures me he will have enough and all is good. He already bought the plane tickets.
So we fly out of cold ass Wisconsin and into the tropics. Everyone is in high spirits, I mean, how can you not be? We get to our rental sailboat, a 2017 Jeanneau 349, and it's a fucking dream boat. We set sail and go from island to island, sleeping in the boat. It's amazing. Dolphins, white sandy beaches, perfect weather, beach-side restaurants, 85 degree water, snorkeling, you name it. Then it happens. **The ambush.**
​
Donny - waiting until my wife and Sarah are off the boat - "I'm out of money, I didn't realize how expensive everything was going to be... is there any chance you can spot me until we get back? I'll pay you back, I promise".
Now I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I say no, he can't get home. If I say yes, I may not be able to pay my own bills when we return, and might never get paid back. Nothing good can come from this conversation.
I gave in however, and asked him how much he needed. After some hemming and hawing, he said $100 should cover everything. Ok. Borrowed him $100 - in cash.
Not two days later he's out of money again. I'm pissed. I tell him tough luck and the three of us go enjoy the day while he sleeps on the boat. Paradise gets me back into a good mood though, and I start to feel bad. *Yeah... I know.* If he can't pay the ferry ride back, or the taxis, he's stranded in the Virgin Islands. *This alone would make for a good AITA post if I just left him there*... but I begrudgingly decide borrow him money for the rest of the trip. On the bright side, Sarah is having no problem paying her own way throughout the trip.
​
After we get back home I don't really talk to him much. The trip, amazing as it was, has an underlying shitty feel to it all. I feel taken advantage of and it bothers me that he, my best friend of so many years, was so selfish and entitled during the trip of a lifetime. Captain obvious senses something is wrong and texts me that he will pay me back this weekend. Weeks go by and nothing. I confront him. Turns out, he wasn't even keeping track of what he owed me! Thank fuck I was - $373 just for the trip!!
I pull up his electric bills for the camper. I charge him $0.13/kWh, send him monthly emails "bills" with pictures of the Kill-A-Watt meter, and allow 30 days to pay. He's 90+ days late and hasn't paid anything. $115 behind. Reminders answered with silence. **It's the final straw, I'm fed up and go into asshole mode.**
​
I forward the electric bill emails, and tell him he has 5 business days (Tuesday) to pay all late bills in full, or I'll disconnect his electric service. I also add a $20 late fee to all future bills that become late. Weather forecast is for 20F at night. No electricity = no heat and frozen/broken water lines. I hear nothing back.
I have a face to face with him and express my general frustration about the trip, owed money and overdue electric bills. He does his best to act sorry and promises to make things right. I don't mention that I'm going to disconnect the power, but it was in the emails sent days earlier.
A few days later I invite him over for dinner, mostly to get the pictures he took on his phone during the trip. He said he'd upload them, but was clearly dragging his feet with misc half-truths. I **never** bring up that I'm killing the electric on Tuesday unless he pays just the late electric bills. Unprompted, he says something like "I'll pay you for the electric bills on Tuesday or Wednesday."
He knows he won't get paid until Wednesday. I know he won't get paid until Wednesday, but he doesn't know that. I still plan to pull the power Tuesday if he hasn't paid, but instead of saying that, I just say "Ok."
Ironically, the Kill-A-Watt meter fails a few hours later, killing his power. 15A heater + fridge + computer overloaded it. He offers to pay for a new one (about $15) and I plug him back in unmetered.
Tuesday rolls along, and at 5pm I text him telling him I'm disconnecting the power in an hour unless all overdue electric bills are paid in full. The following conversation ensues over text:
​
**Donny:** "You couldn't have told me this yesterday? I told you I'm gonna pay it tomorrow" \[Wednesday\].
**Me:** "It was in both emails."
**Donny:** "That's great. Yesterday I told you I'm paying them all off, you didn't say anything"
**Me:** "You say a lot of things."
**Donny:** "What's that supposed to mean exactly?"
*- 10 minute pass -*
**Donny:** "Fine, I'll say it, my word means nothing to you. I understand, rocky history, what do you want from me then? An email?"
*- 5 minutes pass -*
**Donny:** "I don't think I've made an email since high school lol"
*- 30 minutes pass -*
​
I disconnect his power at the breaker. He drove off 5 minutes after that without saying a word, probably to go back to his mom's house for the night, or cry to our mutual friend about how he's been wronged.
24 hours later he said he'd be over at 7:30pm to pay his bill. He showed up at 9:30pm acting like everything was all good and paid $200 - stating the extra money can go towards what he owes on the trip. I tell him since the Kill-A-Watt meter failed, in a few days I'
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WRONG
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ukzXQlp3NAHMwb8tuShicFkZTcaUqnuq
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a1mswa
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{
"description": "dumping a guy I was meh about for someone whom I feel is my soulmate",
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|
AITA for dumping a guy I was meh about for someone whom I feel is my soulmate?
|
Throwaway, for obvious reasons. Very long post.
​
In short, a year ago, I escaped a really abusive (physically, sexually, emotionally, you name it) relationship and the healing process was quite long - and since I had to work at trusting people again and through my sexual trauma, I could not let anyone close to me for months. At some point during spring, I meet this guy - say, Alex - who is quite obviously interested in me and keeps on asking me out, but I never say yes. In the meantime, I tried something with another person, it crashed and burned and fucked me up some more, Alex also apparently was dating someone (he even awkwardly said it to my face in a very victorious manner while it was going on), so, okay.
Since my work implies doing business trips abroad a couple of times a year, on one of these trips I really fell in love with someone else, let's call them Peter, but nothing happened even though there were hints it had been mutual, because they live on a different continent and I knew that if I'd never see this person again I'd lose it. I go back home, feel lonely as fuck (variety of reasons) and Alex suddenly pops back into the picture and I cave in and go out with the guy without doing anything other than spending time, as keep on chatting with Peter almost daily over WhatsApp and the hints continue to be there. One of those days, Alex literally asks me if I want to be his girlfriend in a very awkward way - I wasn't feeling it, so I explained to him that I had a bad relationship in the past & that I still have issues I have to solve with myself, from anger issues to trust issues, so I was unprepared. Which is absolutely true, but I omitted to say that I had fallen in love with someone else - because at that point it seemed absolutely impossible and little more than a fantasy for something to happen with Peter. Bottom line, what I obsessively repeated in that conversation and in future ones was the following: that I'd rather not do anything because I was afraid that my actions would end up hurting him.
Alex seemed to accept what I'd had told and we struck a deal to continue seeing each other as friends, although he wasn't fair about his side of the deal, and he continued to put pressure on me to meet up, or he would offer to run minor errands for me which I wouldn't pass up, plus, he's a really nice guy and a good conversation partner, so we kept on seeing each other, but the tension was there. One evening he asked the question again and put pressure - I started crying (in frustration over what I perceived as my inability to be happy and to accept someone's feelings) and apologized for being unable to reciprocate, yet I told him that I would be really fucked up if I spend the night alone, so I invited him to my apartment. We just slept, but a few evenings later the whole thing happened again, and since I felt extremely lonely and vulnerable, I caved in to his insistence and we slept together. In the meantime, Peter had stopped answering my messages for a couple of days, so I was all the more inclined to do this. Alex and I spent the next day and night together having a lot of (well, mediocre) sex, and I was supposed to leave the country again for business. Before departing, Alex and I convened that any serious discussion about what was happening between us would take place after my 2-week trip. Anyway, there were certain things that were strange about him - such as his describing one night stands (and relationships) as a means to "fill the void", wtf.
When I arrived at the city, Peter unexpectedly wrote to me and apologized, saying that he had been on a different trip and that his phone had been stolen. He told me that was also going to attend the event I was at - and, in short, after he arrived we hit it off after we recognized that both had fallen in love with each other before even touching. We had an amazing week together and we decided to stay together because we truly feel that we have a very powerful connection, and that we'll overcome the distance, in time. So, I had to call Alex (who had sent me very awkward messages throughout the week with boring details about his routine) once it was clear that I and Peter were an item, so I broke it to him. Alex reacted in a pretty self-entitled way and asking for a lot of explanations, implying that I was lying, or asking me if I was now to move to a different country, etc. I sort of felt that his reaction was like that because I was supposed to "fill the void" after he had done so many "Niceguy TM" things. I began to cry and was only able to tell him that I was sorry, that we hadn't had a conversation and that I'd warned him that there was a chance I'd hurt him, and that it pained me to know that I had done that.
That was it. Alex and I haven't spoken since. AITA for doing any of these things to Alex, from the omission part to the sleeping with him part? At the same time, I'm blissfully happy with Peter, even considering the difficulties, and I think he really loves me for who I am - not what purpose I could serve to him. And it's 100% reciprocal. Help me out with this, I feel remorseful every day.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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WRONG
|
czpHAxiSnEDzUUD9TkmSPg32KxMgVBgF
|
akp141
|
{
"description": "not going to a pep rally my school is having",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not going to a pep rally my school is having?
|
AITA for not going today.
Ok so I’m part of a senior group thing for school w my friends and there’s a pep rally today that I didn’t go to. It’s the last day of the break, in mentally exhausted from multiple multiple things i ain’t gonna share.
I just don’t wanna go too. She called a Group FaceTime call at 8:30 in the morning..... mind you I don’t do well with being woken up that damn early for stupid shit. I was insanely pissed considering the shit starts at 11 and she wanted us there 10 and she’s yelling at me the other day too that I have to come, I have no choice. It is my choice if I wanna enjoy my last day and not be at a stupid school thing.
She called me personally twice and I ignored them both and she texted me asking where the fuck I am, ignored too.
So am I the ass??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
shA5T2Ecy6HQ1xZyrjdHGbvEaOXW5Ibd
|
aoo2ep
|
{
"description": "not supporting my husbands decision to quit working a full time job with benefits because he hates his position",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not supporting my husbands decision to quit working a full time job with benefits because he hates his position?
|
My husband and I are both mid 50’s and have taken an early retirement (long story but both basically forced to take early retirement.) Shortly after doing so, we moved to property we had in the country and started a homestead. I grew up on a farm and tried to tell my husband how hard farm life was but he either didn’t understood how serious I was or underestimated the workload. My husband is not a “manual labor” type of person. That is left for me to do, which I am fine with.
What I was not prepared for was the increase in price for just about everything in the country. Electricity, internet, heating, trash service, gasoline (we live far from everywhere so we spend $300 a month easily in gasoline) is so much more expensive here than in the suburbs. We also have a son getting married (paying for a small part of this) and another on his last semester of college that we are paying for.
My husband is a retired police officer. Last year he went back to work because we could no longer afford our retiree insurance. (It was $1900 a month for me, my husband and our college-age son.) His new job is a $10 an hour position as a courier for a large medical group. It’s boring, the hours suck, it’s a 1 hour commute each way, he’s miserable and he hates it. The only benefit is the extra $1100 a month he brings home and all 3 of us have paid insurance coverage included in his benefits package.
Recently he went to a job interview as a security guard. When he got there they told him it was a part time position instead of full time. It is a much closer work place so we would save some money on gas, and it starts at $15 an hour but only 2 nights a week. And no health insurance, which means we will have to go back to paying $1900 a month for insurance.
I pay the bills. I know there is no way we can make ends meet by losing $500 a month in income and paying an additional $1900 for insurance. I’m fine with going to work myself but as I said earlier, my husband isn’t a manual labor type person. That’s all i do here. I wake up, feed all the livestock, clean out barns, take care of 12 dogs (10 of them dumped on us since we’ve been here), work in the garden, purchase and haul all feed, take care of the livestock, repair barns / buildings, laundry, dishes, clean house, and most recently try to get our cabin updated (included some building, reroofing and repainted) so it can be listed on Airbnb. If I’m not here, no one will do these jobs. I know he won’t because the few times I’ve left overnight, he complains constantly about having to fill in for me. I told my husband that if he took this job, i was no longer paying the bills. I’m tired of getting anxiety every month over trying to pay the bills we have. He says I’m being unsupportive of him and only see him as a paycheck. Am I being the jerk? I don’t know what else to do!!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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NOBODY
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Akmfh6P437VbgzlaEZiY4eUdCaktNAwT
|
b4xehe
|
{
"description": "not letting my wife have certain snacks because of the way she eats them",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not letting my wife have certain snacks because of the way she eats them?
|
Okay hear me out. This is specifically relating to Takis and Oreos. With Takis she takes one of the chip things, licks all the powder off, and throws the rest of it in a bag! What kind of monster does this?! You can probably guess what she does with Oreos. Eats nothing but the frosting stuff in the middle and puts the cookies back in the package all sealed up! It’s inhumane and actually a waste of money in reality. So my friendly Redditers, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
DZv2Tg8omLbCexdbNXIVoGSxryR7MUC2
|
b0eye8
|
{
"description": "doing marketing and branding work for a Holistic Health Care Company",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for doing marketing and branding work for a Holistic Health Care Company?
|
I do online marketing and branding (website and logo design, stuff like that) for a variety of companies. One of the companies that hired me is a Holistic Heath company. Things like crystals, essential oils, energy work. That kind of thing.
Not going to lie, I think it’s all bullshit. The owner, however, is 1000% a believer. Am I the asshole for trying to encourage sales of what I believe is hogwash to customers?
The company only targets prospects that believe in the stuff, and doesn’t spend any time trying to convince people that aren’t into it that they should get into it.
I talked to some of my loved ones about it, and their opinion was that I am providing a service that is totally separate from what the company is selling, and that it would be the same if I was doing the work for an underwear company that had “the best underwear on the planet”. It doesn’t matter if I believe that it’s the best underwear.
I’m feeling conflicted. The company is great. Pays me well and on time, takes my opinion seriously, and is filled with people that genuinely seem good. Am I overthinking this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Q0fKQbXS9rssmJfDG7orlmlJR3fZXIkY
|
axlys0
|
{
"description": "not texting my dad my schedule every day",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not texting my dad my schedule every day? (18 years old)
|
Basically my dad is pretty controlling and likes to know everything like when I'm going out to university and when I'll be back. He wants me to text when I'll wake up every day and when I'll probably be back.
It's really bothersome and I don't want to do it. Rationally I know I should, it's just a schedule. I can't send him my university course schedule because my friend drives me there, and I wake up/get back at different times some days due to events at the university.
It feels like I'm just giving him more control over my life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
H59NtE8ai000smDHaLQVhDxrQ5FXKEK5
|
9y8bhp
|
{
"description": "not wanting to helo my grandparents move",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not wanting to helo my grandparents move?
|
My grandparents sold their house a little over two weeks ago, I offered to help them move several times and they never took me up on it, come to find out they've been procrastinating and neglected to get their stuff out before the deadline. I found out yesterday that the new owners are there moving their stuff for them and had my friend take me over for a few hours to help and the woman who's buying the house called me lazy for not coming sooner to help my "poor grandparents". We had to leave at nine which she was also upset at but its because my friends on probation and has a curfew. Today was supposed to be about my third day off in an entire month, I work a physically taxing job 40-55 hour a week which I wake up for at 5am every day. I just got a call from my grandpa asking me to come help and while I wasn't rude I was audibly frustrated because that means I have to push back an x-ray for a possible fractured heel I've been limping on due to an injury I suffered at work. I just called my mom to complain to her and she seemed to not be on my side, and told me that she gave her day off yesterday to help and that they really need it. I'm on my way to help today but I feel bad about the attitude I'm going into it with. Are they being inconsiderate? Are these just my own, personal problems unrelated to their situation? Or in short: AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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|
RIGHT
|
Q0GaFgfaiaxyDmccGtW2SkEPPCy1X2bK
|
apm0lt
|
{
"description": "telling a friends she is gaining weight rapidly",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for telling a friends she is gaining weight rapidly.
|
(Moible) So for a year I've been going to the gym in my high school trying to lose all the weight I've gained over the 18 years of my life. There I met my friend C. C was very nice to me and we got to know each other a lot over the time we worked out together to becoming friends outside of the gym. She is one of my best friends and we have known each other now for about a year.
So enough backstory to the problem, when C and I use to work out together she would always jokingly say if she ever were to gain weight rapidly i should slap her and wake her up to work out again as she has regressed before. Which always made no sense to me as C always had such a great body I mean athlete good. So I couldn't imagine her in any other way however over the past few weeks she has stopped going to the gym at all. I didn't think anything of it at first but as time went on she kept on eating more and more. She is now to the point of having a double chin is she looks down. And her figure is all but gone she always took pride in her health and I just dont understand what's happening.
I dont believe it's anything serious such as depression as I am with her nearly all the time and we talk constantly either on phone or at each other's houses, so I would like to think I would know if anything that serious is happening in her life. I have gotten very close to her and I dont want to do anything offensive such as remark on her weight (you know that whole never talk about a women's body thing) and as a guy I would feel to awkward to do it myself. But what if she was serious and she is regressing and needs a wake up call from someone. I feel if she realizes it herself she might get mad at me for not saying anything.
I dont know if this important but I don't make friends easily and only have about 5 friends total so even if this is the right thing to do I would rather not lose a friend in the process if that accounts for anything. Would I be an asshole for mentioning her rapid weight growth.
TLDR: C my friend is gaining weight rapidly and told me before to tell her and wake her up if that happens should I say something or would that make me an asshole.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
l6S9Quz98exTqc1HRxI0EEy5lOOPwrNf
|
b8x64d
|
{
"description": "complaining about loosing my semi off day of work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for complaining about loosing my semi off day of work ?
|
I've started to work (8 months ago) at a company that used to not work Friday afternoon for 15 years.
Of course, we were working more on others days and even sometimes, calling some clients on Friday to not waste time.
​
We were bought by another company a little bit after my hiring. That company was working 5 days of the week (not 4.5 like us) and had to set the same time for everyone.
​
Everyone was really pissed off, and i spoke a bit about it to my friends.
​
A lot of them came to the conclusion "If you don't work on Friday afternoon, you're lazy anyway so it's a good thing that you start now" or "Almost everyone works on Friday afternoon, it's a normal thing so don't be frustrated about that".
I don't know what to thing. I mean, i could do so much things on this semi day off, a lot of things are not available on week end, and it really helped me off.
It's not because a lot of people have the same agenda that i want to have the same too.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
XwWUNdbU1p4JNqYstwEpkeQkGzKxNrHT
|
b5k1oq
|
{
"description": "not allowing my boyfriend to get a piercing",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not allowing my boyfriend to get a piercing?
|
This has been on my mind for a while now and I need some input on it. This happened about three weeks ago now, my boyfriend of a little over a year has been wanting to get a nose ring for a while now and he asked me what I thought about it. I told him the honest truth that I didn’t really find them that attractive, and that I would prefer if he didn’t get one. I could tell that what I said hurt him a little because he was really looking forward to it, but he told me if I didn’t like it he wouldn’t get one.
The next day I told him I felt bad about it and that if he wanted to get one it was his own decision, but he kept replying that he didn’t want to do anything to his body that I would find unattractive. I still feel horrible about it like I was too controlling over what he wants to do, but the thing that makes me feel worse about all of this is that I’m so relieved that he is not getting one. I just want him to be happy though and I feel like I really messed things up by telling him that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
gHEJ0VqfIIopSnNjC5vrOkEOEjifhLzj
|
9t8m9n
|
{
"description": "having beef with all of my management and superiors in my adult life",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA by having beef with all of my management and superiors in my adult life?
|
Using a throwaway for this one.
​
I've been working for about 4 years now, as an adult. I've maintained 3 retail jobs, and in each one of them I've had trouble with the authority. I just never seem to get along with management. My first job I'm willing to let slide as me being stupidly inexperienced and new to the working world, but I'm not sure what to think of the latest 2.
​
I worked at a large retail store, and had issues with one of my direct supervisors (below department manager). She never really went out of line, seemed to be pretty decent at her job. There was one incident where I needed painkillers for a headache, as I worked out in the sun in a very, very hot town during the summer, for 8 hours a day. I made a trip to the break room to get some from my bag, but before I could get there she stopped me. Asked what I was doing, I replied. She insisted that I simply ignore the headache and get back out on the parking lot and do my job. Ultimately, that headache got worse and I ended up leaving early.
​
I held a grudge against her ever since that day, and never got along with her. Partially by choice. I flat out refused to forgive her and constantly talked shit about her with my coworkers, told a number of people how much I didn't like her, and was obstinate and stubborn about any instruction given from her. I did my job, but I was an asshole about it if instructions came from her. Just from one issue that I never let go of.
​
After I quit that job and found another one, different retailer, I had a similar problem right off the bat. Job was unloading a truck at 4AM, until noon. I made an effort to get along with every member of management and every supervisor, but it became clear that most of them had no respect for the lower employees. Or at least, none for me. It felt like it was just me. One of them was respectful and pleasant with teaching me the job and the way things worked, but he left for somewhere else shortly after I was hired. His replacement was, in my opinion, a royal bitch. According to the rest of management she was good at the job and did it well. But it seemed to me, that all she ever did was belittle us, tell us to hurry up, that we're too slow, that we're wasting time, that I wasn't learning. She singled me out a few times.
​
Over a couple of weeks 2 other new guys started in the same job. I worked alongside them, but evidently, I wasn't doing the job very well. I wasn't pushing heavy boxes fast enough, I wasn't listening to instructions. I did my best, which I can honestly say. I worked quickly, I made effort to memorize where boxes went and how things were displayed so I could get stuff off the truck and into the back of the store ASAP. I genuinely tried. But it was never enough. Eventually she singled me out and yelled at me in front of all the other workers, telling me I didn't listen and she had to repeat herself and she was pissed off. I wasn't having it. I defended myself, with some temper. She wrote me up for insubordination. The guy who hired me talked to me about it, said she was the authority and I had to listen to her.
​
I had enough of that. Wanted out, but needed the job until something else came along. I didn't speak to her unless I had to, didn't look at her, didn't make eye contact. Made every effort to avoid her. Unfortunately, she's the supervisor for the truck crew, and eventually she had more beef with me, even though I only got better and faster at the job. Constant complaining about how slow I am. Every time she made some snarky comment to me, I continued on with my job and said nothing. I figured, if I don't talk to her, if I say nothing, she can't call me insubordinate. After a bit of this she said she was talking to a brick wall and I needed to communicate with her. So, immediately following this instruction, I asked for clarification on something. It was something obvious, but she was insistent about how I needed to communicate. She flipped. Made some comments about how "Oh, so that's how it's gonna be" and asked two coworkers if they heard me say what I said. Just because I asked a question.
​
I very recently quit that job, because I'd rather quit while I had dignity left than be fired for repeat insubordination.
​
So my question is, am I the asshole because i struggle to work beneath someone else? Are my expectations too high for retail work? Am I supposed to just duck my head and take the heat, do my job, and shutup? I'm genuinely asking, because until I finish up my degree I'm stuck with retail work. I think I'm doing something wrong, and I, at the very least, want to not hate my job. Should I blindly accept authority and keep opinions to myself, even if I'm right? Am I being too stubborn and just being a hard-to-work-with employee? Should I just accept that life isn't fair, retail jobs aren't fair, and it sucks? I don't know if I included enough detail for an accurate judgment, but I at least want some honesty from someone.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
x00AZ2TEW5Urg5k2kjfaRVgfkAXOqysR
|
alzowg
|
{
"description": "not wanting sad details",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting sad details?
|
This could be slightly sad, but I do need reassurance I'm not a wuss for this. Also I'm sorry if there is any punctuation or slight spelling errors, it's 2:30 am and I'm kinda lazy sometimes.
So my grandpa's mother (my great grandma, and my mom's grandma) fell and broke her hip, and is now in a nursing home. She's, in short, going into dementia and having all the signs and symptoms (taking off her clothes, wandering hands, random anger, etc) and I live 19 hours away from her now. I call my grandparents pretty often to just talk since they were like other parents to me and they often start talking about how grandma is and what's going on.
Usually I wouldn't mind but it's not a usual "oh her pains not bad" or "she says hi", it's almost disgusting details of her "wandering hands" and her trying to take her clothes off and almost back handing my grandma (she was an extremely kind woman) and events that set my anxiety wild. I recently lost my other great grandmother and I still haven't fully recovered from that, and hearing this hurts my heart worse than a heart attack. I've asked them multiple times to spare the details and yet they don't listen. I love hearing the progress she has made, her new friends, and all that. Not her episodes. Even when I've asked them several times, they always slowly slide into the story, regardless of if I wanna hear or not. Half the time I just hold the phone away and wait until it's over.
This isn't the only issue I've had with them. We call my grandma (not my great grandma) Facebook for a reason: everyone has to hear what's going on in her and other people's lives ("hi this is my granddaughter- she's diabetic" when it's irrelevant) and one popular topic is my great grandmothers finances.
I don't have the right nor the wish to hear how far she is behind on bills, or her gambling, or whatnot. And hearing that people who have met her maybe twice and aren't even related to her know about it almost sickens me.
I've had my mother get involved to help explain why it bothers me, I don't want that to be my memory of her, but I'm called literally a TATTLE TAIL and this is just the hard facts of Life, or get smartass remarks like, "oh don't tell her that it makes her sad" in a sarcastic tone.
Am I the asshole for not wanting my last memories of my grandmother to be mental images of her going insane and lose the memories of her being the sweetest kindest old lady? Would I be an asshole if I was to go off on them and tell them to stop because I've had enough? I hope there's enough info here and if there's a question you have please let me know and I'll post an edit or answer directly to you.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
Q5HDgq73w7kNOCwL4fvN97sfFItZyR8Q
|
aomkp3
|
{
"description": "making a joke about my friend's mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for making a joke about my friend's mom?
|
Me and my friend (ill call him O) were joking and laughing for a couple minutes in class, and he just made a perfect pitch for a your mama joke and i made the joke (of course i did it with full sarcasm included) and apparentaly he took it hard and was a bit hurt, he said its not cool, not funny etc.
After class he confronted me about it so i did the polite thing and talked with him and said "sorry, didnt know you'll take it that hard"0. He said its all good, but it wasn't cool, i said sorry again, we shook hands and we both parted ways.
Although i feel kind of bad, i still think he overreacted about the joke, and should not have taken it as seriously as he did, i think i made it obvious that i'm being sarcastic, especially because i gave my voice a bit higher pitch.
TLDR: i made a joke about a friends mother, he took it hard, confronted me and took it too seriously. I think he overreacted.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
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RIGHT
|
MvuCBGYqZPhECaS27RP5O4aGEkZkUw19
|
a8223h
|
{
"description": "asking why everyone was triggered",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking why everyone was triggered
|
So I have/had a friend who has a really thick skin. So today in history kids didnt want to do this lesson so the teacher gave us notes and a little pop quiz instead. I half ass my way through and get a bad grade, normal everyday shit for me. When i leave the classroom half of the class is complaining about,how they failed and that the teacher was acting like a 5 year old. I had no idea what they were talking about. So I go to my previously mentioned friend because unlike me he pays attention to his grades and classes. So i ask him "why is everyone so triggered?" He talks,like this to me all the time so i didn't think it was a problem He then precedes to call me an "in bred troglodyte" i tell him to fuck off and walk away. I found out that the teacher was skipping slides to punish the,kids who didn't want to do the original lesson. A lot of the kids grade went way the fuck down. So reddit Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
dkj1Jylt1HXfUSeI6PpnmJiYpRnI3N0S
|
b566c1
|
{
"description": "ruining my ex girlfriend's parent's marriage",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA for ruining my ex girlfriend's parent's marriage?
|
About 2 months ago. My long term girlfriend broke up with me. 2 weeks ago she texts me saying she wants to hang out and be, "friends". I say yes. She then proceeds to tell me the first time we were hanging out during this period. That her father whom she lives with. Is having an affair with someone. He asked to borrow her car when it was snowing very hard one night his new car wouldn't get through the snow. She came put to a heart on her passenger window the next morning. She then told me she is being payed by her father to stay quiet about this around her stepmother. Her stepmother is a really nice woman I respect a lot. My ex recently got upset with me and told me that she'll, "talk to me never". After getting upset with me because she no longer wanted to be, "friends". I want to tell her stepmom not only because I think it would be hilarious. Yes I'm an asshole already. Also because I feel it isn't fair to her stepmother to know and not say.
TL : DR
Ex's father is cheating on her stepmother a very nice woman. Ex has been acting shitty before, during and after breakup. I want to save my ex's stepmother's time in a shitty marriage because she treated me well.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
DPW4QUrQzSh23jgoWlzrNF5bUHVJOVu7
|
av5aaj
|
{
"description": "not telling my class that someone is bringing a friend to our class holiday",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my class that someone is bringing a friend to our class holiday?
|
Originally my friend group and I wanted to go on a holiday as a small group with a few of our classmates to celebrate our graduation. This friend group includes me and 3 other friends, let's call them A,B and C. So a close friend of A and B, who is from a different school, was also graduating at the same time, so we invited her as well, let's call her D. So somehow this holiday evolved into a graduation trip with almost everyone in our class joining. They never knew, that we originally only wanted to go as a small group and it was always labeled as a holiday for our class. A and B didn't want to uninvite D, so we just continued our plans with her. No one ever told them that we're bringing someone else.
Friend A ended up not being able to come to this holiday and B voluntarily took up booking the trip, so she didn't have to tell anyone that D was coming as well. We are renting 2 apartments and would have had a spare bed anyways. Most of us are 19-20 and because we're flying to a different country it's quite expensive to most of us. D didn't know that this was a class trip and felt a little akward.
All of this happened about half a year before our supposed trip and I tried to convince B and C multiple times to tell the rest of the class, that D is coming, but they didn't think it was necessary. I talked to a few friends and family and they all agreed that it is kind of shitty to just bring someone on a class holiday without asking. B and C originally planned to have them find out while on the plane. I considered telling our class myself but didn't know how to go about it. I decided I didn't want to take the blame because I didn't invite D and I wanted to tell them all along. Because I didn't want to cause stress in my friend group, especially in our last few weeks, I decided to not tell anyone. I tried to convince them to tell our class a couple times after that and they finally told everyone who will be in our apartment. They didn't think it was a big deal but we're also friends with them. In the other apartment on the other hand there are a few people who will have a bigger reaction.
I feel bad for not telling them and having them find out when we arrive will most likely end in a few arguments. B and C say they won't have to deal with anyone in our class after we graduate and don't really care if they're going to be mad. By now I have given up trying to convince them and just let them deal with the consequences.
AITA? Tldr: my friend is bringing someone on our class holiday. I knew all along but never told anyone. Half of my class still doesn't know.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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a55017
|
{
"description": "still being mad at best friend who ghosted me 4 years ago",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for still being mad at best friend who ghosted me 4 years ago
|
Let me start by saying we’re now on good terms now, but about 4 years ago he ghosted me just as we were starting college after leaving high school where we met, so we were about 16 (We've been friends for about 4 years at this point). I’m not a social person and I didn’t have many friends, so starting college knowing no one was scary, he was the only true friend I had.
It really hurt and upset me that he could just cut all contact with me, made me feel like I was unlikable. After he started ghosting me, I got really depressed and didn’t socialise with anyone, even going on anti-depressants to help keep me sane (I didn't want to exist for a brief period). I’ll admit I went crazy, became an arsehole and messaged him a lot to try and get him to speak to me. He did respond to somethings, but it was short, and he went straight back to ghosting after.
After a few months (felt like half a year, but I can’t be certain) I just went straight to his house to confront him directly, I just wanted my friend back and said something like “Let’s just forget everything which happened and play games”. It somewhat worked, and he started speaking to me a bit, more and more. Fast forward a few years and we’re back together, much better friends than before. We speak to each other for hours playing online games almost every time we are both at home.
One day (Like 9 months ago now) I asked him why he ghosted me those years back, and it turns out that it was because he was depressed because a guy in his college friend group called him weird and asked why he was even hanging out with them. So, he didn’t even ghost me because he didn’t like me, but because he was depressed about friends as well.
But it still bothers me every day. It really screwed me up, even after he stopped ghosting me. It really crushed my self-worth and social skills. Even now, I feel like he could just as easily drop contact with me and it wouldn’t affect him at all. He’s pretty much over it (or at least doesn’t show it anymore), as he found his group of people and started going to parties and drinking, I’m still depressed (much less so than before though) and anti-social.
He’s honestly a really good person and I love him to bits, so I haven’t said anything, or showed anything about still being mad, as I don’t want to cause a divide between us, and I can’t exactly suddenly appear to be mad about something which happened so long ago out of nowhere. (Recently he took a 30 minute bus journey to my house to drop off his controller I asked to borrow, during his 2 hour break from work when it was raining, without me even asking him to do so).
AITA for still being mad about it? His depression caused him to ignore me, which made me depressed. I can’t be mad at someone for not being social while being depressed, but it still upsets me. AITA for holding him partly responsible for my depression? AITA for still being mad at best friend who ghosted me 4 years ago?
In case anyone is wondering why I'm posting this now, after being mad for so long, he recently done something which triggered memories of how I felt before (He didn't do anything bad or wrong, just something which reminded me).
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b04x43
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend she annoys me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for telling my best friend she annoys me?
|
So, let me get a few facts straight - I'm female, in my twenties and I am introverted and cannot handle social situations at times, because they get very exhausting and scary.
I have a best friend that I've known for a decade and longer and we always get around really well. We love each other dearly and we enjoy being around the other, because she helps me deal with stuff and I help her. Whenever we would argue, IF it happens, we would come to a conclusion rather quickly, dealing with things rather well.
Now, how come I start resenting her? Because I do; I noticed that I get annoyed whenever she would speak or interact with others, the way she phrases her sentences, the topics she talks about, anything. It's not that I don't love her anymore because I do, but, goddamn, I get so irritated about her behaviour, her acting, etc. She's not doing anything out of the ordinary for me to be feeling like that, either.
And it makes me feel real dickish, because I don't want to feel like this about my best friend, but at the same time - I just do. So, I have been distancing myself a bit, responding rather sluggishly whenever she would talk and just overall be a little unenthusiastic about things with her. And I've been feeling conflicted as of lately because I feel like I'm not supposed to feel like this about my best friend, so I thought about bringing it up to her.
Would I be the asshole for mentioning that she annoys me?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fbmD4m1q0IsDHxQ08D47gVteiO0p33aO
|
awcg5r
|
{
"description": "being upset that my boyfriend doesn't want to live with me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being upset that my boyfriend doesn't want to live with me?
|
I know this is a lot of background but it's relevant:
My boyfriend and I have been long distance since I moved 3 hours away from his home town to a college in my home town almost a year ago. We've only been seeing each other during breaks and our relationship was as strong as ever but we obviously missed each other a whole lot. He did his two years in community college and he just got his acceptance letter and is transferring to my university this fall.
So the plan was always for him to move out of his moms to live with my family for a year and then get our own place but today he said he was leaning more towards living in the dorms on campus. "Because I want the experience" he said. Another mutual friend also got his acceptance letter to go here and I'm upset that he would rather pay to live with his friend on campus than with me for free. Another thing is that he is really cheap and is always talking about not wasting money but he will gladly burn some instead of living here. We wouldn't charge him rent, our house is really nice and we live in a big city with tons to do. The only thing is the commute which is about an hour. Am I wrong for being mad at him?? It's also really hurtful cause I got him a new nintendo switch for valentines/our 2 and a half years together and he got me a stuffed animal. I wasn't mad or anything at the time. I don't care about gifts, I was just happy that for once he was the one that made the trip here. It bothers me now because he's so frugal he won't bother to get me roses but he's fine with wasting money to live in a dorm for the fun. I'll admit I've been bitching at him since he told me this, and he keeps telling me it's something he's always wanted to do. I've calmed down now since the initial rage and I'm second guessing my point of view. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
UqT83r0ynSXtgkea7VS0j0zR8sbBdE31
|
b21tja
|
{
"description": "getting into a heated political discussion with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting into a heated political discussion with a friend?
|
Hey team. This just happened and I am not entirely sure what to think.
With the recent NZ shooting still running strong through the heads of my country everyone is talking of it.
I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing the comments made my Australian senator Fraser Anning.
See: https://i.stuff.co.nz/world/australia/111327946/australian-pm-labels-senator-disgusting-over-christchurch-terror-attack-comments
Now, there was an online petition that the premise of was to get Anning to go to vote to keep his job. Anning, being a Australian senator of course, and my friend and my self being Kiwi’s.
My argument was that I would not sign the online petition as the senator was not a political representative of my country and therefore I should not get a say on wether or not he is fired.
Just for the record, I think he should but I don’t think I should get an official vote in it.
My friend thinks people from my country should. She thinks that, despite the fact I openly disagree with Annings’ comments and told her my position on wether Anning is a fitting representative for Australia’s government, I am a racist and I am enabling racism by saying that I don’t agree with her and that I don’t think it’s my place to sign the petition.
I then used the example of: “I don’t deserve a say in Australian politics. I don’t get a vote because the implications of his actions don’t effect me. I don’t want Australians voting to raise my tax rate same as I don’t deserve to vote to remove an Australian senator.“
She is saying that I am a racist because I care more about my tax rate than the tragedy when I only used that as an example of the reasons I shouldn’t get a say on Australian politics.
Reddit, Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
8FOv0XJjirzeCNzZyqCW5ueosfoI6D8M
|
aoh03i
|
{
"description": "not trusting my friends, like at all",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not trusting my friends, like at all?
|
So this is a weird question I know. But I don't trust my friends at fucking all. They haven't done anything, they treat me basically the same as everyone else in the friend group, but I just can't bring myself to trust them. I have one friend that I trust, and even then that trust has evaporated to the point where I don't really confide stuff to her anymore. I'm suspecting that I am bipolar due to this and my moodswings, but I don't trust them enough to ask for help, and I also don't trust them since they would probably contact my parents if they knew. I don't trust my parents either, and when they contacted them about my wellbeing a few months back whatever trust I had in them vanished. Am I the asshole here? Should I open up more?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ZgLku05JftrkuFo20i7u7yJPwZcylZWB
|
9uat10
|
{
"description": "flipping out at my friend for saying I was difficult when I needed help",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for flipping out at my friend for saying I was difficult when I needed help?
|
Hi reddit, throwaway because he knows my main account.
​
A few days ago, I had some bad pain and discomfort in my groin and lower back. I went to the hospital, and within a few hours I had surgery for testicular torsion. I'm still moving around rather slowly, and I need help with basic things (putting on socks, getting tucked into bed, lifting stuff)
​
I asked him to do what I thought would be a simple thing (I just asked him to help me carry my laptop when I was moving to another room) and he told me I was being difficult. I was really pissed off and I flipped out at him, loudly. We still haven't spoken.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
EYVWSFuxBThctRaHCmXXYaSHsYxqIhqT
|
auomgb
|
{
"description": "not talking to people for weeks straight",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not talking to people for weeks straight?
|
So bcos I’m 16,lots of the girls I’m friends with gossip and ,tbh, I join in with them too sometimes. But I can tell if they are talking about me. If I see the signs then I will just refuse to talk to them, I know that will only make it worse but I just don’t want to talk to them if they don’t like me. I haven’t read any stories for this it’s just I seen it and was like oh this is somewhere that I can post bcos I relate let’s go so tell me if I done something wrong
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
8oOgSFI01trDWcqBeplZSFhgS6fVOltL
|
b266vr
|
{
"description": "not believing his friend had cancer",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not believing his friend had cancer?
|
So i was in a PlayStation party with this guy. He said something along the lines of not liking gay people (He knows I'm not straight) and I left. He said it was a joke and i left him on read. I was just going to let it go. He wrote a long apology saying it was a just a joke however i want to add that he said in the apology that he doesn't hate gay people as his "friend was gay and he stopped that friend from killing himself".
I was about to forgive him when he said that friend has cancer. I took it as him wanting pity points. I went off about how i didn't believe him and why would he say that. He then sent me proof of his friend messages where his friend said *might* have cancer but could be something else. I felt bad and apologized but he said he wouldn't forgive me and how he would never lie about that because his granddad had cancer.
​
Later on another party he said I was "lucky i was a girl" and said that he turned the argument on me to make me feel bad and that he does it all the time??
I admit I shouldn't have left him on read making him think I didn't like him over a bad joke but his response wasn't good either.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
UoK0hawCaZaexfhNYK1qlrt7mXbaNBMZ
|
aap8vj
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend after he quit his job",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up with my boyfriend after he quit his job?
|
We've been together for 4 yrs and I've broken up with him a couple of times before, but I always take him back. He just recently quit a job he promised me he was gonna stay at. He starts school for welding next month but id be really surprised if he stayed, I feel crappy say all this about him, but I'm really worried I'm just wasting time here. We have two daughters ( 2 yrs old and a one month old)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
8Y9c4BkRFgy80lZuua9ELZGs0FWxk0hP
|
agi3qt
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend time with my family",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend time with my family?
|
So, quick backstory:
I live with my Mom, who is a total sweetheart, but can be a bit cranky. My sister has 3 children, 2 6yo boys, and a little 1 year old little girl (adorable). I love my family very very much, I wanna make this clear. I would do anything for them, in fact, I've changed my entire life for the better because of them, and they inspire me to continue bettering myself.
That being said, they demand a lot of attention. I recently moved in with my mom to be closer to them. I don't necessarily like children.. they kind of annoy me lol. Especially somewhat misbehaved ones, like my nephews. I know they're just kids, and they don't really know any better, but yeah. Now my Mom and Sister's idea of hanging out is going shopping/window shopping at department stores and stuff, it's their thing. It's that, or sitting in my sister's living room while her kids go nuts.
So I consistently shoot them down. Not to mention, I'm very much an introvert, and want to focus on school and work. I prefer to relax by myself on my off time.. but, my family tries to take up a considerable amount of my time. Most of my life I felt kind of disconnected from them, I've been very much a "Black Sheep" in my views and life choices. So it's hard to get along with them.
I'll finalize this by saying, I don't always shoot them down, I do visit them, quite often actually. But lately the guilt trips have been getting worse whenever I say no, and my sister uses her kids against me sometimes. My mom gets completely upset with me and doesn't speak to me.
I feel like they either don't respect or don't understand my need of my space, and I don't know how to communicate it without being TA.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
hO7PULGpkA79YSH0wIr1UajGtXLORbjF
|
adzkp2
|
{
"description": "cutting communications with a friend of 9 years",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cutting communications with a friend of 9 years?
|
I have had the same group of 6 close friends since I was a freshman in high school. (I’m 24 now) We would hang out almost every day of the week while we were all living in the same town, even if we had nothing to do, we would want to do nothing together. As we got older and a couple people went to college out of town and a few of us got married, it made it more difficult to all see each other. We still try to make time for seeing each other once a week and definitely all get together when everyone is in town. All of us except one. We will call him “John”.
About 2 and a half years ago “John” got into his first real relationship with a girl. We were super happy for him and quietly relieved that he found someone because it had always been something that he was worried would never happen. The first few months of them dating we hardly heard from him, which is ok and we expected it to happen since he had never had to balance time with a girlfriend and friends. We would still invite both of them to come watch a movie or grab some dinner, to which he would politely decline for various reasons which was completely fine with us. Until he kept doing it.
From the time they started dating until the day they got married, which was one and a half years later, we had seen him and his girlfriend a total of 5 times. We sent him and her countless invitations to come hang out and they were almost always unable to come. Even after they got married we would still send a few invites every now and then, to which he would say his usual response of him being unable to or he would just flat out ignore them. He even stopped showing up when the guys from out of town would come home for a couple days out of the year. Eventually we stopped talking to him all together.
2 months ago, out-of-the-blue, he started showing interest in his relationship with us again. (which was two years after he started dating her/stopped seeing us) He would invite us over to grill out or ask to go on double dates and it really caught us all off guard. He went from zero communication to wanting to see us multiple times a week. We hung out a couple times and things were definitely not the same between him and the rest of our group. He had really hurt us all by not making any effort previously and we all were pretty upset with him for it.
A couple weeks after he started up communication again he found out he was going to be moving to a different state for a job. He sent out a text asking if any of us could help him pack and load their stuff into a trailer, which for some reason really got under my skin. I felt like he was using us and really felt like he didn’t deserve our help. After talking with the other guys we all kinda felt the same way. We all told him we couldn’t help to which he got upset at all of us for. They moved away and every now and then will send a letter to us guys/relatives in town, updating us on what’s new with them. I haven’t responded to anything he’s sent. I saw on social media that he came in town last week and didn’t acknowledge it. I know it’s nice of him to kind of try to keep our friendship alive but he never even tried apologizing for anything and I feel like to much damage has been done. Am i the asshole for ignoring him now?
I hope this is fluid and makes sense. I kept adding things in different spots to make it more cohesive but I may have made it more confusing
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
HiqlvXdTGmgroDrUWQ0C3jcBnfEL5MsZ
|
aa2cmv
|
{
"description": "not wanting my ex to give me a second chance",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my ex to give me a second chance?
|
A couple of weeks ago I made a post about being in an open relationship with a horrid lack of communication. Judgement was that I was indeed the asshole, which I think I owned up to pretty well to.
TL;DR was there was not much sex. I slept with a problematic ex and didn't tell my SO. Despite our relationship being very emotionally stable (or so I thought) and my trying to initiate intimacy, SO would seek out sex with others but not me. I was upset about it.
It ended up that we broke up. It was amicable, but still really hard since there wasn't any real animosity between us. Just a lack of understanding of how one another works and a major incompatibility in how we view sex.
Anyways, we hadn't really talked about our problems to any of our friends or family since we didn't want to make it a big deal and the holidays came and went. I worked on being by myself as much as I could, trying to figure out how to be better. It's hard because I've got some pretty bad trauma and resulting depression. I do my best not to ever excuse myself because of it though.
Lately it's gotten a lot worse with the breakup and various other factors. My ex has been very supportive since they know the most about my past and has been trying really hard to help. Recently, he's been bringing up the idea of trying to make it work between us and wants a closed relationship again. They are willing to sit down and talk more often and work on the intimacy. They didn't even really care about me sleeping with the problematic ex. But I said no.
I feel awful and desperately would like to get back together, but I keep letting them know I'm not their problem anymore and, as much as I appreciate their concern and efforts, they need to give me space for both of our sakes. They have a really good job, a nice car, and is good with their finances. I've got a minimum wage job with no car and I could be more frugal considering my status. I just don't think we're as compatible as we thought. Mainly I don't think I'mgood enough. I stopped replying to their messages as often as a result.
I'm being told that I'm not being fair to how they feel and that by ignoring them, I'm just continuing the initial problem we had of not communicating, even though they're trying. But I figure I'm sparing them.
TL;DR: Really good person of an ex wants to make it work, but I think I'm too much of a mess for them so I'm not for it. Now I'm not talking to them in an effort to distance myself.
AITA?
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3vxhwnUm4IHWE74xuSHbEZUyAv4E8BUp
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b1yv7h
| null |
AITA or was it a misunderstanding?
|
I recently went through a break up with the girl I love. We weren't doing well. Her parents didn't like me and I felt she would never stand up for me despite how happy I made her. All that negative thinking caused a lot of problems between us. I was having anxiety and panic attacks left and right. She saw how it wasn't healthy and decided to end it. She wanted me to get help. I was upset because I was a normal functioning man before all of this and part of me feels like she is responsible for it. I was by her side when she was low, when she was going through depression. And for her to just dump me when I wasn't doing well felt like she was being selfish, considering I stayed despite her family hating me because she said she would break her head if she lost me. During the break up she said "I wish you well". I was mad that she would do this to me at this crucial point of my career where I am graduating and need to find a job.( I'm an international student). So I said, "look at the mess you have made here" and "don't come to my funeral". She mistook it as me threatening to hurt myself, when all I meant to imply was don't ever see me again.
I went for counselling to deal with my issues and as I was talking to my counselor, I realized how used and betrayed I felt. I hadn't eaten or slept for 2 days and felt like puking all the time. So I texted her "I am in a lot of pain and suffering. I want you to know." I said "I was done being the good guy" implying I'm done being the guy crying and begging her to come back to my life. A few hours later I come across this post of hers on Reddit asking if she should alert my family/the police about me. I was shocked. Shattered. I hope and believe I can get over the fact of losing her and getting over her. But that she would think of me as a threat? Was so hurtful. It's been 3-4 days since that post and yet it comes back to haunt me that she would think that I was comfortable of "gutting her like a fish". I was in so much pain. All I did was express it to her. During her last time seeing me, she got a friend along. Apparently her family didn't think it was safe for her to go alone. When I had told her I'd be coming to drop off her stuff at the porch, her family travelled somewhere 2 hours away because they were afraid of me. I have never been aggressive around her, or to anyone, ever. I have never threatened or called her names. The last time we met, my last words were "I love you" as I was crying. How could she think I was capable of that? Was it her family brainwashing her about me? Was it something I did or say? I know I never said anything with the intention of scaring her. Yet that's how she took it, instead of seeing that I said it out of pain. Who's fault is it?
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HISTORICAL
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qLAikoZunxODA6KGH0Qqz8EQIDN9UXv5
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aetf5p
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{
"description": "texting my female neighbor \"you're a fucking cunt.\"",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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|
AITA for texting my female neighbor "You're a fucking cunt."
|
Immediately it sounds like I'm the asshole, I know, and to some extent I know I am but not how much. For context, I moved into my new place in April and within 2 months became close friends with 2 of the neighbors. An older guy and a younger woman close to my age (27). The older guy is a 40-something, unemployed, on disability. The younger woman worked at a nearby casino and recently got fired. For the purposes of the story the older guy will be Y and the younger woman E. I'll just list the things from E that has led me up to the "fucking cunt". Let me also say that for the first month I had a crush on E, and we were both single, she's a free spirit and fun to be around but the crush faded as I found out more about her and I found someone else for awhile and she did too. That adds a certain tinge to the story I guess. But I've also been helping Y out too, but he's grateful and hasn't really done anything majorly shitty to me.
1. When I first moved in we were hanging out a lot and I was buying a lot of beer for these two, the guy Y always tried to get me back on them, didn't quite always. E never did and would always bum cigarettes. I was being nice, I let this last a couple months before I stopped it. I was never offered either afterwards, but sometimes I would ask for a cig and reluctantly get one, I guess I was being passive aggressive, didn't really need one.
2. She begged me to take her boyfriend to a nearby town once because her car wasn't working. I reluctantly complied and got pulled over, my first speeding ticket. My fault, and this is kinda shitty on my part: I kinda blamed him though at the time. But the clincher is as I was getting pulled over he tells me he snuck an illegal shotgun in my trunk and to "be cool". Haha, nice display of respect there, didn't bother to tell me that. He told me he'd help pay for it since it was because I was helping him out, of course never did. This is more on him than her, but still, she didn't give a shit about any of it and new about the shotgun and didn't tell me. Lucky that situation didn't turn out a lot worse.
3. Ever since she broke up with the guy, she's had a few homeless people stay with her, not all at once but spaced out, now I don't wanna sound like a dick here, but there's 4 of us here and she does it without telling anyone. We don't know what the deal is with these people and I've pieced together that the reason our shared back door's lock is broken is because one of them tried to break back in.
4. Her cat comes down to my door and meows constantly at mine because I have a cat too. I've asked her to make sure her front door is closed because the cat is loud and it wakes me up sometimes. She doesn't.
5. She blared her music often for awhile before I angrily texted her to turn the damn music down, I live right below her. Now she's gone back to it, judging from yesterday, more about this coming later.
6. This one is the single most hurtful, it's the most hurtful thing someone has said to me this last year and she did it so thoughtlessly because she's "lol quirky and randum xD". We were getting high and drunk, which I don't do often (well the former) and she turns to me and goes "I wish you were strong". Not "stronger" even, just "strong". Implying I'm weak. Needless to say this killed my high. The past year has been rough for me, after a demotion due to downsizing (worked my ass off at that job) and a series of panic attacks I quit my job abruptly in January. Got kicked out of home by my mom that I'd been living with for awhile. Lived in my car for over a month, got my shit together, got a job, got this place, got promoted to part-time manager, quit that job because I found a better one that I actually kinda like for once. I felt legitimately weak at the start of the year and have been feeling better about myself. Stopped hanging out with her like that after that. Still have talked to her and had her over for a smoke a few times, but yeah that was over.
7. This was just the other day and really pissed me off. She desperately texted me for clean piss since she's getting an interview and is a stoner. I haven't smoked in a few months. I was going out for a date with my girlfriend and told her I would give her a cupful at 11 tomorrow (I usually sleep 3-11 due to my schedule) a few hours before her interview. I get texts all night asking about the piss, even when I'm sleeping and texts always wake me up. Then she comes down and knocks at 9, asks if I have the piss I angrily say "no, I don't piss until I wake up at 11", and then idk why but this is the fucking clincher, she asks to bum a cigarette. Bitch, I'm already fucking helping you get a job, no. I gave her the piss at 11, never received even a thank you.
8. This is more about my neighbor Y than me. He was getting high speed internet and E and I were using it too. Difference was I was paying him 25 a month and E was paying 0 (because Y has a soft spot for her pretty sure). Y has to cancel his internet due to financial issues. He leaves for a week to visit family. When he gets back I ask about his time and then I say no problem and thanks for providing this for us so far. E says first thing, I was there in the stairwell, in a real entitled tone: "Hey, what's the deal with the internet?". Not "how was your week or anything". Then later on when I got internet she asked for my internet and in a round about way I said no.
9. Her new boyfriend and some of her friends have parked in MY FUCKING PARKING SPOT a few times. She had to have pointed them there, knowing I'm a pushover or weak or something, because there's other spots. I nipped that in the bud like the 4th time.
10. In general there's just been so many more times I've helped her out than vice versa. And there's a few entitled things things she's said about it. I won't list all those.
So on to yesterday and the text. I come home at 11 after stopping by my girlfriend's place. Earlier in the day Y said he was turning his internet back on. I got my own in the meantime so I said thanks but I'm good. I come home and of course he's given her access and of course she's playing her music really fucking loud again and it's getting late, (it's a small apartment complex, whole place could hear her songs). I feel so sorry for the kind older lady who moved in recently. So I play my music loud for once out of spite (real petty I know), and then text her all friendly kinda fishing for a simple thank you for the piss I gave her, just a simple joke response. So I get drunk and finally text her something like "You're a fucking cunt. You're so entitled and disrespectful" and then I angrily list some of the things I've been mad about. I wish I'd kept the texts but deleted them and blocked her after today. She texted back something about "Wtf, I've had it with your random drunk behavior... I have a dude over right now..." don't know if that was a veiled threat or what. And then earlier today I texted back something like "Sorry about calling you cunt but I stand by everything else, maybe you should stick to your business and I'll stick to mine. Btw, I'm buying a baseball bat after work if that was a veiled threat and you send anyone to try to fuck with me." Which might have been overreacting
In her defense now and things I'm feeling bad about:
1. I've been ridiculous with my drinking, I might have a borderline problem that I'm trying to work on. I don't make an ass of myself too much but sometimes I get angry drunk and I have rarely confronted her (only through texts, never yelling) about one of these problems except when I am angry drunk, something like "Turn your fucking music down I live right fucking below you and you do this all the time" instead of politely asking her to turn her music down. I apologize for my tone later.
2. She's always been a good listener when we've talked and I have problems.
3. She's made a few meals and randomly bought me Sonic once (well her friend did) but I've done more vice versa just sayin.
4. She was pretty fun sometimes before we stopped hanging out.
5. edit: And the other day she came down for some reason, idk what didn't find out, I was drunk and immediately asked "So what the fuck did you want from me now." And she said "Nothing! Nevermind!"
Idk, I hate cutting people off in my life. Who's the asshole, now that I've written it out I'm leaning towards both of us, but maybe one of us was a bigger one idk. And should I reconcile this or not? If so how? Thanks for reading this fucking novel.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
|
RXperqJFj01ssguSR8W2baKhSQg3YCW1
|
ai82l4
|
{
"description": "not giving full effort in to the care of a parent who seems to have given up",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not giving full effort in to the care of a parent who seems to have given up.
|
In the last 2 years my parent’s diabetes has caused a fall, breaking both shoulders. They have recently been to the hospital for Kidney stones. They seem to be in denial of what’s going on, or just don’t care. I’m tired of caring more than they do about their wellbeing.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
TuTv9bY6wEGaaCnvMHHnEcHyDds4Nn0c
|
afd75f
| null |
AITA for not hand not handling my friend's freakout the wrong way?
|
This happened about two years ago but I just found this sub.
I was living in dorms at a university where each room had 2 beds but most people lived alone in their respective rooms although I had a roommate living in the same room as me who we'll call Brian. Because me and Brian were friends with most of the same people our room was usually the place where we would congregate on Friday or Saturday nights. Usually we hung out with Jason who lived in the room across from and Jimmy who lived in the room beside ours, both of them had their own room with no roommates.
So one Friday we're all having a few drinks in our room (well maybe more than a few) when we decide to go downstairs to the cafeteria for some breakfast food at 10:30pm. Jimmy orders a big plate of food with 2 fried eggs and a bunch of hash browns with ketchup the rest of us got donuts or muffins or something such that we all finished eating during the walk back to our room but jimmy has hardly started eating when we get back. I think it's important to note that at this point all of us have had 4-5 strong drinks except for jimmy who's still nursing his first drink. So at this point Brian, Jason and me have had a total of about 6-7 ounces of hard liquor in total while Jimmy has had under half an ounce at most (he very precisely measured out exactly an ounce of liquor into his glass using a measuring cup and he had about 3/4 of his first drink left). So even if he was a very lightweight he shouldn't have been very drunk at all.
Anyways, we're all sitting in my room kinda bored just watching Jimmy eating his "breakfast". Jason grabs a hash brown off of Jimmy's plate and eats it ( i know it sounds rude but if you're drunk and within reach of hash browns who wouldn't grab one??) and Jimmy doesn't say anything or give any sign of being upset, then Jason, who's kinda messing around, purposefully bumps Jimmy's plate and his plastic knife falls on the floor, Jimmy just utters a distracted "hey". Jimmy and Jason are sitting across from each other on me and Brian's bed just in arms reach of each other. Then Jason reaches out and grabs another hash brown on Jimmy's plate this time knocking two more hash browns off his plate in the process.
The instant this happens, out of nowhere Jimmy lets out the primal shriek of a freshly branded chimpanzee, throws his plate full of food over his shoulder towards the wall behind him, and screams "fuck you, you fucking asshole" at Jason and storms away to his room next door. From the weaponized breakfast plate there is one fried egg stuck to the wall oozing a trickle of yolk down the wall below it, a second fried egg sitting in a puddle of yolk in the middle of the floor, hasbrowns *everywhere* and my roommates bedsheets are heavily splattered with ketchup. I was pissed off at that point that he couldn't have handled this like an adult and just politely asked Jason to stop or just returned to his own room to eat, in addition to the huge mess he made in our room, he just brooded in his room the rest of the night and made no effort to come help us clean up. While cleaning because of my frustration and drunk state I berated his actions intentionally loudly enough for him to hear in the next room saying things like "little bitch" and "what a pussy" while cleaning up the high-cholesterol Armageddon aftermath in my room. Jason felt bad and apologized profusely, but the next day Jimmy demanded and apology from myself and Brian, I outright refused and said that I would only if he apologized for the mess he made and he said the mess was mine and Brian's fault so I did not end up apologizing at all. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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dOiaPxXvtbhoUVrFKMORoBBPqcvBI2oO
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avwwvl
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{
"description": "feeling slighted when a clearly bilingual customer says they only want to work with a spanish speaker",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for feeling slighted when a clearly bilingual customer says they only want to work with a Spanish speaker?
|
I work in sales in Southern California and as a result a large portion of our customer base is either Spanish speaking or bilingual. Regularly there are people who genuinely do not speak English (or enough of it to carry a conversation, let alone negotiate a transaction) and we have bilingual associates who can help them better.
Often enough though, customers will walk in and ask for a Spanish speaker, even though they obviously speak perfect English. I’ve even had customers ask me questions directly in english, and then once they have the answer they ask for a Spanish speaker to help them out.
For example I just had a woman walk in speaking English to her children, her children were speaking english, and she asked me a series of questions regarding our product. We had a 5 minute conversation (perfect English). Right after she asks me if there is a Spanish speaker available to help her, and I could tell it was even awkward for her seeing as I had basically set up her purchase. After she had left I asked the associate who had helped her if she was speaking Spanish, and the associate told me that almost all of their conversation was in English.
I understand that one could be more comfortable if they were shaky or uncertain of their English, and that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m referring to the people who hold English speaking jobs, their children speak English, etc.
AITA for feeling like these people are unreasonable or even a little prejudiced?(not sure if that’s the right word, but it’s close)
I feel like the asshole, but I’d like to see how other people would interpret this. I’m sure his happens in other countries, how do you feel about this behavior?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
ySWA8rjBPRqflGoWxgQ1Po2JmgfW1QY7
|
ba5mp2
|
{
"description": "not ditching one of my friends after a stupid prank",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not ditching one of my friends after a stupid prank
|
My friend and I are high school and my brother is in college, but he lives at home. My brother is kind of an ass at times. He’ll tell me off for eating “his” food or wearing his clothes or other little things. I generally try to avoid him.
My buddy is over a lot and we stay out of my brothers way mostly. We were eating lunch and my brother came in and my buddy started chatting with him about his love life.
My friend was dating this one girl and broke up with her for another. He was just telling my brother about it but my brother called him a douche and accused him of disrespecting his last girlfriend. It was way overboard. I feel that my brother should have kept those feelings to himself and taken himself down a few notches.
My buddy was pretty mad about how my brother spoke to him. I didn’t know at the time, but he took my brothers phone and sent his girlfriend a few texts breaking up with her. He knew it wouldn’t actually end in a break up because my brother was just about to head over to her place. It was just a joke. I get it was mean, but the confusion would have only lasted for half an hour, tops.
First my brother came at me when he got home because he thought I wrote it. When I corrected him, he told me he doesn’t want me to be friends with this guy anymore. He said a lot of terrible things about him that aren’t true at all. My mom took my brothers side and said my friend isn’t allowed over anymore. I’m pretty mad about the whole situation because it wasn’t that big of a deal and everyone’s fine at the end of the day. I’m going to stay friends with my friend, and we’re just going to have to go to his and my mom will have to deal with me being around less. Am I the asshole for not wanting to dump my friend over a stupid prank?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
|
QbxMMJwECvXipjRntQIHpSx0y4pWkoJX
|
ao5crh
|
{
"description": "not paying contractors for a fence that isn't tall enough",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not paying contractors for a fence that isn't tall enough
|
I had contractors (a small local business) in to remove an old fence that wasn't tall enough set up a fence. There was little communication up front but since they're friends of my father-in-law I wasn't too worried. There was also no written contract, basically just a conversation while they were at my house, we agreed on a concrete post and wooden panel fence, 2m tall (maximum height we can get without needing planning permission) and agreed on a price. I got a text a week later to tell me what day they were coming.
Yesterday they arrived, took out the old fence and starting setting up the new one. After they put in the first panel I expressed concern about how tall they were but they said it was taller than it looks and I'd see if was fine when they were done. I though alright then, it'll probably be fine. I don't know much about fences and it's their job so they know what they're doing.
To give you an idea of why we needed as much height as we could get, our neighbours have a conservatory that sits quite high so when they're in there they can see over our old fence and straight into our bedrooms. So it was important that the new fence be taller than the old one. The neighbours conservatory is to the left side of that fence and the contractors starting installing the new fence from the right side so we weren't able to see how much of a difference it made until they had put in 75% of the fence at the end of the day yesterday.
This morning we got up and immediately noticed that our neighbour was in their conservatory and we could see her more than we could before, so the new fence was lower than the old one. I went out to measure it to make sure we weren't imaging it and where the old fence was 1m86, this one was 1m73.
When the contractors got back today I immediately brought it up with them and they said we agreed on 6ft tall (which is \~1m80). They said they can't make it taller without removing it and starting over with new materials and we debated about what could be done for over an hour and a half. He said that I asked for a 1m80 fence, I remember saying that the panels had to be 1m80 tall (which with 20cm gravel boards underneath would be 2m).
Ultimately they're sure we asked for 1m80, we're sure we asked for 2m because any shorter than that wouldn't make any sense for us, we would've just kept the old fence. I said that we weren't paying for a fence that isn't what we agreed. They said we should at least pay them for the materials. I told them I could see why they think that would be fair but arguably they got the wrong materials and we can't use them for the fence we need so we're not going to pay for the materials either. They got angry, packed up their stuff and left.
AITA for not paying them when everyone involved thinks that they are personally in the right? I'm not assertive and avoid confrontation so while I think I'm right I worry that maybe I'm not.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
yYmagZE4AmkPAkzVxvZ0M5ec1ZPbrT1D
|
b4xwni
|
{
"description": "answering my mom during an argument",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for answering my mom during an argument
|
I was patient and didn't complain at my parent's for the entirety of my life of constantly moving to different Places but this. This my last straw of constantly moving it tires me so fucking much every like 3 months we move to another city to another city. I just had enough of putting up with my Parents forcing me to public schools to make "friends" how? How the hell am I supposed to make friends nowing i'll probably leave them the next day?. Mom came home early we had dinner she asked me how school was.
Me: the usual. Just an Assingment for Science.
Mom: Made friends ? You know you gotta have friends to lean on A.
I just gritted my teeth. I just dropped my fork on the plate
Me: How the hell am I supposed to maintain a friendship in a living situation like this Ma? Next thing i make friends i'm probably packing my bags for our next move
Mom: Theres internet? Honey I know
I just snapped.
Me: You know? Stop making me laugh ma, you know nothing leaving your friends bwhind.
Isn't it right? Sometimes i talk to my old friends through msg I know they ain't genuine anymore.
I just stood up and ran to my room. Just hoping my mom doesn't bring my dad to talk with me.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
6hbjAWeYDLFXwYLtE7FdMPTjf681jW04
|
asfy60
|
{
"description": "pushing my boyfriend to keep his head shaved",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA If I pushed my boyfriend to keep his head shaved?
|
My boyfriend is balding, **bad**.
Its like how thin [this guy’s hair](https://goo.gl/images/hqsPW6) is on the top tuft but following [this pattern](https://goo.gl/images/PYasQ1).
He started balding in his 20s and has fully accepted that he going bald. He knows his “best” look is shaving it all off.
The thing is he’s lazy. I try to remind him to shave, or offer to do it for him, but he puts it off. He lets his hair grow out until it looks awful. Like an inch or two all around. Usually takes about 2 weeks.
When hair is grown out he goes from a rustic handsome man to a crazy scientist.
While I find him a little less attractive when his hair is grown out, my main concern is how professional he is seen.
His job doesn’t “require” him to look professional, but it’s a job he needed to get a degree to work in. (I don’t want to be too specific). He has also been involving himself more in the company so the higher ups are taking notice of him.
I don’t get frustrated or nag when his hair gets bad. I might bring shaving up twice a week and I wait until we’re at the house doing nothing before I say something.
That being said, he has the right to keep his hair however he wants it.
He doesn’t pressure me to shave (legs, armpits, pubic area, etc). He has even said he wouldn’t care if I stopped shaving all together.
I don’t want to make a double standard here. It’s just that head hair is so much more present that my body hair. How a persons head hair looks is seen as a representation of how professional they are. (Wether it’s an accurate representation or not)
I’m not sure if him not shaving his head would be akin to me not shaving my legs, or like me not brushing my hair.
If it’s more like no brushing my hair WIBTA for asking him to shave more?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
pyYjecVZcB0lh179mmyDHY8d2qb0KMo5
|
a9q6e6
|
{
"description": "giving my sister attitude",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for giving my sister attitude?
|
As a note, my sister is a senior in HS and I’m a senior in college (also a girl).
My sister, dad and I have errands to run that we need to do together today.
At 10:10ish, my dad hopped in the shower. By 10:20 he was out and the bathroom was open. My sister and I both went to go take a shower at the exact same time and it went like this (Me - M, Sis - S)
M: Oo, could I possibly go first?
S: Are you gonna be quick?
M: (thinking how I wanted to take a 20-30min shower to bask in the warm water) Alright, you go first then.
M: (as she’s about to walk into the bathroom) But, are *you* gonna be quick?
S: (rolls eyes) Uh, yea (with a ‘duh, obviously’ tone)
Then she shut the door. Here’s how the shower went:
[10:31] Gets in bathroom
[10:46] Shower turns on
[11:09] Shower turns off
[11:33] Comes out of bathroom and says it’s open
When I walked past her room to go take my shower, I leaned in and said “Last time I checked, taking an hour in the bathroom isn’t considered quick.” Then I shut the bathroom door. I took a regular shower and was out before 11:50 (that’s including showering, moisturizing after the shower, getting dressed, brushing my hair and brushing my teeth). I honestly don’t understand what she does in there for so long.
Am I the asshole for making the snarky remark before my shower?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
3d9Dc5lhB3dBNtAq5mToGZY2GKWPBeih
|
asrwn7
|
{
"description": "not tolerating an underperforming coworker for whom I have to be responsible for? not to mention they're going through marital issues",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not tolerating an underperforming coworker for whom I have to be responsible for? Not to mention they’re going through marital issues?
|
I work at a decent sized company and have to respond to two superiors - one being the actual president of the company, and another being a team lead. We were transferred an individual (we’ll call Janet) from another department for cross training. This individual was taken a liking too and was kept in our department.
The problem is, Janet underperforms in multiple aspects and has been given extensive reminders on how to do things. The majority of the times when I and my senior coworker try to give Janet advice & reminders, Janet just walks away. This is reflected in their work, and thus causes issues and more work for our department as a whole.
I and my coworker have brought this up multiple times and our team lead doesn’t seem to mind, whilst keeps us accountable for the Janet’s actions/underperformance. It’s gotten to a point where it’s become a problem in both worker morale, and work communication; I’ve even pitched in to help overtime with Janet’s workload but. was then made an example on a mistake I had made. The example being “Don’t pick on Janet, you yourself make mistakes”
I recently saw the individual had their FB messenger open, and saw their spouse’s private messages and felt really bad for Janet. Full disclosure: I had to retrieve a file from Janet’s PC, and it’ll the window was wide open - not to mention I’m only human.
The weirdest part from all of this is there’s a work rumor that Janet is sleeping with the team lead.
Am I the asshole for not tolerating Janet and not taking on her work responsibility?
I question this, because I don’t know if she’s underperforming because of her home life, but the fact that there’s such a leniency with Janet from the supervisor (mind you Janet fucks up the most basic things, as well - so it’s just an overall lack of attention and interest) And she’s constantly just casually talking in the team lead’s office is what irks me.
Essentially: Why am I being held accountable when it was your decision to keep Janet? She obviously sucks at her job.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
kc2ZNIDqG0zHN2rbuac6cIVLId0LV4LM
|
b34rzr
|
{
"description": "leaving my boyfriend asleep at my house",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for leaving my boyfriend asleep at my house?
|
The titles a little confusing. So me and my boyfriend had this date at the movies planned, which I was really looking forward to since we never go on dates. He comes around around 5:00 and the movie starts at 8:00 so he lays on the couch and we’re just watching the TV.
It’s at this point where he falls asleep. I had just gotten home from a 7-4 shift at the hospital and all he had done all day up to this point is sleep. It’s around 6:00 when I try to wake him up, and he refuses to move. He says he’s not going anymore. I continue to try for the next 20 minutes to get him to move and he refuses to move or talk to me.
I still live with my mom and my brothers, so I asked my brother if he wanted to go, so I just left my boyfriend there sleeping and went to the movies with my little brother who loves the Marvel movies anyways.
My mom ended up coming home and kicking him out, but now he’s pissed. I’m just wondering... am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
plZyd640lNYhsC6bEBgZ15aCflQM5Ntp
|
b27xlb
|
{
"description": "not letting my gf use my car while I'm off from work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not letting my gf use my car while I’m off from work?
|
I should preface this by saying that I’m an extremely over cautious driver. I was in a very bad car accident in college that left me very injured and since then I’m a pretty antsy driver and passenger. That guy who is pissing you off by going too slow, that’s me sorry.
My gf on the other hand is a more carefree driver. To the point that now if it can be avoided at all costs I will not be her passenger. There have been times when driving where she will just grab her phone and start going through her texts. One time she actually started going into the next lane just to try to bring up a video to show me of her nephew. She’s been in multiple accidents over the years, but her side of each of them is that is wasn’t her fault. I’m not trying to beat up on her, but just from my experience with her I do not trust her to drive my car.
I’m off work this week. She doesn’t currently have a car. I usually drop her off in the early mornings then make my way to work. I really don’t want to have to wake up early on my week off and I also don’t want her to drive my car. She was surprised when I told her I didn’t want her to use it. I explained that it’s because of her reckless driving(an argument we had in the past) and she rolled her eyes as she usually does when I complain about it. When she asked me what she was supposed to do I suggested Uber. I genuinely thought that was reasonable, but now she’s angry with me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
CsWrPKJ5xTFYcUcEEaw3oVGKowlm2iOn
|
ayzc0e
| null |
AITA: My phone vs My boyfriend
|
Hey guys, new reddit user here, and for once I feel I should use this subreddit.
For some background, my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We have an oopsie baby boy who’s now 7 months and he’s amazing. We’ve been living in a small 2 bedroom apartment for several months now, and we’ve had the same argument for a while now.
My boyfriend feels I spend too much time on my phone, time that I should be spending with him. He works in gutter installation, and since it’s the winter he’s been on call. Lately(past several months) he’s been at home, and we’ve been struggling to pay our bills. We haven’t had fun money, so our days are usually spent caring for our son, watching Netflix and Hulu, eating, and going to bed. It’s boring to me, and most conversations we have are just basic stuff. “Want x for lunch?” “What do you wanna watch?” “I think (our son) needs a change” etc.
I find lots of enjoyment spending time online and talking to people on discord, browsing the Internet, etc. However my boyfriend doesn’t go online much. He plays some offline games, but more often than not prefers to talk to people instead.
In his words, he feels he plays second fiddle to my phone. That my first response is to grab my phone and check my messages, that he feels he’s always the one to come up with something to do which I usually shoot down. He feels like he shouldn’t have to ask or beg for my attention, that my online friends should have to ask or beg for my attention.
(I don’t know anyone where we live, I have no friends. He has a few friends but prefers to be by himself or with me. I like to talk to lots of people, and online is my best outlet.)
I don’t know what to do. We’ve argued about this a lot, and I do want to reach some sort of compromise, but I can’t come up with anything and neither can he. First and foremost, am I the asshole? Secondly, do y’all have any advice?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
BRcF4szn3ikdKzjbNmTfztNFS2I36ock
|
b76jot
|
{
"description": "asking this guy to hang out with me when this acquaintance has been doing the same thing",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking this guy to hang out with me when this acquaintance has been doing the same thing (and they are not officially a couple yet)
|
An acquaintance of mine has met this guy. She has been asking him to individually hang out with her but they aren't officially a couple yet. I find the guy attractive too (have him years ago but and he became more attractive over the years). Am I an asshole for asking that guy to individually hang out with me too?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pnDDBe0xXSZu3seczaJAnmKuRnL1BM2R
|
arx2q8
|
{
"description": "ending things because I was suspicious he was lying",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for ending things because I was suspicious he was lying
|
I started talking to this guy less than a month ago, at which point I saw him use school work as an excuse to blow people off (usually to spend time with me). I had an event last night where he was going to meet all of my friends and it had been planned at least 10 days in advance.
So yesterday comes and he texts me right before it’s supposed to start telling me he has to leave early because he has school work. I told him that if he had to do work, he should just stay home because it wasn’t really a thing where he could easily leave early. I wasn’t angry or combative in any way, I just let him know that it wasn’t going to be possible to just sneak away. He says that he can put his work off and just stay until the end.
When he arrives, he tells me that he now has a group project to do at 10pm. I told him that I didn’t believe him; it was too convenient that he tried to get out of staying and suddenly had this project. He doubled down and told me he didn’t appreciate being called a liar, so I ended things. He’s now telling me that I was a waste of his time and that I’m punishing him for doing nothing wrong.
AITA for ending things with this dude?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
fm2HbK8K0kYB6IqLgUgqk0WEVhS1wBX5
|
b77lmk
| null |
AITA should i have kept my mouth shut
|
So in my small town I happen to be the team captain of my schools wrestling team. So my friend (who also is a wrestler) likes a girl on my team (who is also one of my wrestlers) and my friend has had a crush on her.My friend had planned a date to ask and we were all ready for it until a girl happens to have told one of my wrestlers that she liked the girl my friend liked. So I usually don't mix my social life with my wrestling life but this was the day before my friend planned to ask, so me and wrestlers we're all planning things out when the girl that likes ones of wrestlers happens come up to us and says tells my friend to back off her and she would get her before he could so we told her he would ask her out Saturday. That day we had a duel (a schools wrestling team against ours) and my friend was gonna ask later that day after the duel. So I was talking to the girl with some of the other wrestlers while my buddy was playing basketball and it turns out that the other girl had told my friend to try sabotaging him and the girl wasn't interested in him. It didn't infuriate me because she didn't like him but that the other girl had the AUDACITY to do that to my friend. We gave my friend the news after his match (so he wouldn't be sad and distract him in his match) and then he just became depressed and we felt bad so I did something stupid. I told the girl on my team that the girl had liked her. She was shocked And she told me she was straight but we went on with our duel (BTW I won both of my matches and she did as well and we both got 2 matches). Later that day we told my friend what we had done he was happy we got revenge for him. We decided to tell the girl for the satisfaction and to not be cruel to her and let her walk into her own humiliation. She responded calmly saying "cool" so we didn't think much of it later till... We heard her crying to her friends and me and friends smiled and looked at each other we felt satisfaction because we just repayed the favor. Later on during P.E. one of her friends came up to us and was telling us a shit ton of crap and all I really said was "well we just Did she did to my friend so honesty you should get you're friend to apologize to him" now here's where things get worse. Later on during break me and my friends are walking and I get pulled aside by maybe 20-30 girls and I see some of my wrestlers look at me and just mouth "fuck". So one of the girls on my team was good friends with the girl that sabotaged us and boy Did I fuck up I was just surrounded by a bunch of girls who started talking a lot of crap and I even apologized saying "I sincerely apologize for and pain or distress I have caused you" and all her friends yell to me "shut the fuck up" and I just walked away I tried to apologize. Once practice had started me and my wrestlers were talking to the girl my friend like and she wasn't mad she was pretty chill about things so now I just need to find out about the other girl.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
LD4QgPR8BkOZArr9qMB5AlHKjYpGc0gE
|
ao6zgx
|
{
"description": "asking a former FWB to let me know when he comes out to his cousin",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking a former FWB to let me know when he comes out to his cousin?
|
TL;DR: AITA for pressing the issue to my friend's in-the-closet cousin about how I need to at some point tell my friend that we were involved?
​
I (M, mid 20's) am friends with this girl (My age) I've gotten closer with over the past couple of years. I pretty much joined her friend group so we're super integrated into each other's lives and she's pretty much my best friend. I don't keep secrets from her and trust is a huge deal to her in general (She's currently in a long-term argument with her boyfriend because of a lie of omission related to him hanging out with an ex or something).
​
This girl has a guy cousin (Early 20's) from out of town who sometimes visits and comes to our parties so over the last few years I've met him a handful of times and we've had some group interactions. I've always pegged him as gay/bi and his sexuality is a semi-frequent topic of conversation among our group because he's very attractive but also very shy. I've talked about having a crush on him with my girl-friend but it was always mostly jest because it seemed so impossible for anything to happen there.
​
Anyways my work started making me travel and I ended up in the town where the cousin lives and he hit me up on Grindr. We hooked up and started talking and hanging out a bit and he made me promise not to tell anyone back home. He took me to a gay bar for my first time with his friends and so I got the general impression that he was out to everyone except his family and my friends. I continued playing dumb in conversations with my friend and brought the topic up less and less.
​
Things ended on a meh note (He kissed me secretly on New Year's, then told me he just wanted to be friends and apologized for "mixed signals". Later that week I ended up having dinner with him, my friend, and my friend's mom which was just greeeeeeeeeeeat) and the next time after I was in his town after that I asked him if we could meet and talk. He's flakey and non committal so we talked over text. I told him I have hated lying by omission to my friend, but it's definitely less important than allowing the cousin to come out in his own way. I asked him if he could let me know when he comes out, because I would have to have my own conversation with my friend and smooth things over.
​
This did not go well. He reacted super badly. Some things he said were along the lines of "Why is this such a big deal? Why do you feel the need to tell her at all just pretend it never happened." and "There's no way she would react badly so why even worry about it." I told him he was only thinking of himself, and he responded that he "always thought of others" and this is where I kind of lost my cool. During our 4 month involvement he had been really really callous and emotionally manipulative to me and I took this chance to say so and point out that he was once again not giving any fucks about me in this situation.
​
Him: "I don't ever want to see you again. I don't ever want to talk to you again"
​
I later learned through the gayvine that he's "out" where he lives in that everyone knows he's gay, and he has gay friends but he doesn't officially live as a gay man outside of nightlife and metrosexual activities. Essentially if a stranger on the street asked him he would not say he was gay.
​
I've talked to a few friends about lies of omission and gotten varying responses about if telling my friend about her cousin and I's involvement was something worth having this argument over.
​
Judge me, and let me know if you need more information.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
UUfdOVWxxhBB3hhli3sJRIaGHq5X9xf5
|
b1uurh
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed about a dog that I didn't ask for",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed about a dog that I didn't ask for.
|
So a bit of background information I am the fifth of five kids and my brother's (the eldest and second eldest) got a dog when I was 5 months old. I loved that dog ever since I can remember he was my best friend when I was younger but as I got older I did my own thing with friends and all that. My brother's now older don't take the dogs for walks as much as he needs and everyone blamed me for it as if when I was five months I told everyone I would share the responsibility. But recently I got myself a kitten that helps with my mental health (you know what I mean) and everyone in my family still blames me for not looking after the dog when they all say I can not look after the kitten properly this infuriates me like I said I wanted the dog. So Reddit AITA for not taking the dog for walks and such even though I didn't ask for him.
Sorry If this had poor formatting this is my first post and I'm on Mobile
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
hOqXmFaE27EQ2cxfusZY8e0tNTIAtOAv
|
b762ou
|
{
"description": "not really wanting to live with my sister in the future anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not really wanting to live with my sister in the future anymore?
|
In this story, my sister will be K, and my boyfriend will be D. Sorry if my post is weird, it's my first time.
So, me (F16) and my sister (F20) are extremely close. I'm her favorite person, and practically her best friend/daughter/little sister. I also love her a lot, but there's just one problem. She hates my relationship. I love my boyfriend (M17) very much, and we both see a future with each other. The plan was for me, K, and D to all live together. At first I thought it was a great idea. But as I get further along in my relationship, I'm noticing that she seems to not like the fact that me and D are dating.
For example, just today D made me a little origami heart, and I wanted to tape it to my wall. K did not like this, and said things like "now I'll have to look at it" and "your brother doesn't put things that his girlfriends give to him on his wall." Note that me and her have to share a room. I was honestly pretty offended and a bit hurt. I told D about it because I needed to rant. He also thinks she's being ridiculous, especially for a 20 yr old. She's done things like this in the past too.
I'm now starting to think that the 3 of us living together wouldn't be a good idea. If she can't handle an origami heart, how is she going to handle me and D interacting in general?
However, I have no idea how I'd break it to her. She's a big people person, but is also pretty awkward, and doesn't make many friends. She'd be devastated if she had to live alone, and I'd feel really bad. And I know it might also sound stupid that I'm considering choosing my highschool boyfriend over my own sister. But, although I've known D for 7 months, and have been dating for 4, I feel really close and safe with him, and he's already helping me be a better person. I love him, and I refuse to let him go because of my immature sister.
So, AITA for not wanting to live with K in the future anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
oy6ylASLDtfGzkNTXsFn2W0MsC4FLEn4
|
af4jpu
|
{
"description": "saying that my nanny is a motor mouth",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for saying that my nanny is a motor mouth
|
AITA for wanting to tell my nanny to STFU. She talks nonstop. She talks over the TV.
She talks about nothing. The topic is either totally uninteresting, untrue/inaccurate or a re-run of something that I begrudgingly sat thru before.
She talks so much that I can't hear myself think.
But if I ask her to be quiet I look like a bad guy because the talking is admittedly harmless. I could just ignore her, sure. But that's pretty rude. I do my best, turn on music, leave the room. But I can't escape it if I'm sitting down to eat...and she's got me trapped.
It just feels like more work to hear someone running off at the mouth with no goal, no end in sight. I'm always thinking "what is the point of this story/comment? When are you going to be done?"
She is one of those know-it-all types, and it is absolutely annoying.
It kind of feels like I'm reading a terrible book ... The words are moving across the page, I don't give a damn, but they're still coming and this haphazard plot is happening. But unlike a book where I can just put it down, return it to the library or burn it, I can't escape my Nanny's voice bc it's in my house.
I just feel like a hostage.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
0NQEQrazafDnjRWO4kBkzyTEtEcyo3XV
|
9udi5n
|
{
"description": "wanting my friend to text me first",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my friend to text me first
|
So to start off, I'm not great at making friends. I have a hard time trusting when people are being nice to me because I grew up as the kid that nobody really liked. Anytime people were nice to me as a kid they usually had an ulterior motive, like they wanted something I had or they were setting me up for some cruel prank.
I'm also still dealing with some trauma from an ex-girlfriend who liked to tell me all the time how much she loved me, but would turn around and beat the shit out of me if I did something she didn't like.
Cut to this summer, I met someone that was oddly nice and very friendly, constantly checking on me and inviting me places. I was immediately suspicious and told her that, I just don't do well with people who are so nice so soon. She assured me that she "loved" me and that I was the "best friend" she had ever had. Occasionally she would ignore me and it turned out it was because she thought I was mad at her and she was feeling insecure about our friendship. Everytime I would go out of my way to reassure her that I enjoyed her friendship and I wasn't mad.
Recently she's started dating someone, which she didn't mention to me, her old roommate told me about it. Since then it was like pulling teeth trying to get her to even text me back, which I figured is weird but she's busy and newly involved so whatever.
I'm a struggling alcoholic, which I told her, and I had a relapse. I know I can be just awful when I drink and I know I texted her a few times when I was drinking, but I don't know what I said. There was definitely distance between us and I felt like it was my fault, so I threw out all my liquor and apologized to her.
I thought we were back on track with our friendship, she started coming into where I work and she would give me hugs and talk to me again.
A few weeks ago I invited her to a pumpkin carving bonfire, on a day I knew she was free, and she told me to remind her closer to the day. There was another party that same day that I wasn't invited to and that she told me she wasn't invited to either. A couple of days before the bonfire I texted her asking if I should get a pumpkin for her, no response. Day of the bonfire I texted her letting her know when people were set to arrive, she texted me several hours later to tell me she wasn't coming. I found out a few days later that she had actually gone to the party she told me she wasn't invited to.
That hurt. So I sent her an admittedly long text about how her friendship left me feeling kind of shitty and if she didn't want to be friends with me that's fine but it wasn't fair to me to tell me that she "loved" me when her actions say the opposite. She responded with "jfc Apple. I don't have to text you everyday to prove we are friends. I have friends that I go months between texting and they know I'm still their friend."
After that I deleted all our texts and her number, but I still brought her a souvenir from a trip I took for my birthday. She didn't wish me a Happy Birthday but I figured it would help smooth things over and we could try to talk about our friendship. She never texted me, not even to thank me for the gift.
A few days ago I saw her sitting with her douchebag of an ex boyfriend, and even though we aren't talking I was concerned so I had one of our mutual friends ask her if she was okay. She responded by saying that I could just text her because she's not mad at me if I'm not mad at her. I still haven't texted her. Our mutual friend has known her for years and told me that this chick will not text me first. I kind of just want her to acknowledge that she hasn't been a good friend to me.
All my other friends are telling me to drop her like a bad habit, but when we were first starting our friendship she told me she usually ends up pushing "good" people away and keeping only toxic ones in her life. So I knew this was a possibility but it still hurts. Plus I'm not blameless in the distance we have, I drunk texted her and I was constantly asking if she still enjoyed our friendship, which was probably really annoying.
I feel like I'm an asshole for not stepping up and fixing things between us. I actually have a text ready to send to her but I can't bring myself to send it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
yzXvmKa0gxvdZIcQpjovRuM3NShaze7i
|
acbw7v
|
{
"description": "complaining about not having sex with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for complaining about not having sex with my GF?
|
I've been with my girlfriend for about five months now and we were both virgins when we started. When we started having sex I had several problems (my dick wouldn't get hard basically).
We live kinda far from each other and have little time to spend toghether, so the first days when we met at my place for like two nights we would try sex at least twice a day.
Now, its been almost two months since the last time we had sex, because she always says she's tired or she's not in the mood, but she masturbates like 4 times a week when she's alone.
Yesterday I complained about this and she got mad and I ended up apologizing. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
hyO3t4uBjbNgPU2PaQzshKPYrC47SaqO
|
9ypaqg
|
{
"description": "wanting a good partner in bed",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting a good partner in bed? [NSFW]
|
AITA for wanting a good partner?
My current gf(22) is horrible at sex. I (24)was her first when we started dating over 3 years ago. Since she was new to the whole thing I knew there would be a transition phase. But what I didn't know was that she wouldn't be willing to put in the effort.
She isn't willing to watch porn. She doesnt like the idea of it? That would be fine but she isn't willing to even attempt to research positions and such to try to improve. She has gained weight and isn't really interested in working out, whether to be more fit or for relevant muscles.
Every time we have sex I have to do all the work. She gets tired on top after ~20 seconds and then wants to switch. She has actively gotten worse over time, since she was having a bit of improvement a little over a year ago.
Maybe tmi here but last time she did oral she tore the frenulum.(skin that joins the foreskin and head. It has happened before, but I feel like it shouldn't after 3 years of a relationship. It's to the point where I prefer to just whack it and go to bed.
I have talked to her about this multiple times through the years, and every time she acts as though I should be the grand master and showed her the "correct" way. I hit adequate pretty consistently but I know I'm no sex guru. I've tried my best to help her but she doesn't receive instruction very well.
I don't want to cheat but I can't help but feel sexually starved for the past long while. I haven't cheated and have no plans to, but I want to have a good partner.
AITA for wanting her to excercise/workout and overall put effort into becoming good/better at sex?
Ps. We don't argue needlessly and are a good couple otherwise. This is 1 of the top few issues we have.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
QhbCSaTaq2bl22YwCHksv60k30DijWUN
|
asoq7y
|
{
"description": "cutting off ties with my cousin even though he still lives with me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting off ties with my cousin even though he still lives with me?
|
I call him digs short for disgusting, you'll know why later on. So this 20 years old college student still act like a middle schooler for 5 years. It was also nice and smooth when he first moved here in our condo by recommendation of my parents (her mom and mine are sisters). He showed his true self little by little, he rarely cleans the unit, and the more importantly the rest room. I clean the always since I don't want the unit to look dirty for unexpected visitor. This may look childish but he has been staying for 5 years and he still acts like a fucking visitor! He smells like dried sweat mixed in garbage everytime he comes home. His bedsheets, blankets smell like dried molds and sweat and you would notice molds growing when you remove the sheets, his towel smells like shit as well after a few uses idk why. The only reason why we haven't kicked him out bec he's a relative and my mom doesn't want to start a drama in our family so I just let my cousin be. What really triggered me is he stills from my wallet and he thinks that I don't notice what he's doing, there was one time I left $55 on my wallet just to be sure I didn't lose count and the next morning the $5 was gone!! So I confronted him about it and he totally denied it but it already happened on different occasions, I also told my parents about it and they told me to let him off since we'll be moving soon and they won't care where he lives I have not spoke to him nor he does to me since the wallet incident and he can't hide his guilt for stealing, he can't look me in the eyes, he gets out of the way whenever we bumped into each other and looks down like stupid shit. Since I can't do anything more to make digs move out. I've slowed down his internet connection on our WiFi for a guaranteed speed of 80kb/s and a Max of 120kb/s. Where he can still refresh his FB feed but can't play videos (he'll need to wait for a couple of minutes for a 2-3 second buff), 4G is also not reliable and super slow since we're surrounded by towers making his laptop a useless piece of junk since he only uses it for online gaming, he eventually gave it to his father since he can't use it for gaming anymore. I was so happy about but still pissed and angry that he still lives here. I can't wait for the contract to end so I can move to different unit and he'll be on his own or have him tire the fuck out for staying here find a damn place where he can let his germ family live
For the record, he went home last night after being gone ALL DAY and guess what he did? He only washed his ass and went back to sleep without taking a shower. what a fucking guy. He deserves to be named digs the disgusting.
*English is not my first language and I'm not that good at it either so forgive me if there are errors).
TLDR: my cousin digs is an irresponsible and disgusting person so I don't talk to him nor help him anymore and I made his internet connection super slow so he can't sit here all day not doing anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
J1kuMO98fSWO9gFLUn6mYPWRvIXCFkcq
|
agq7bt
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed at my cousin for thinking out loud",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed at my cousin for thinking out loud?
|
So, my little cousin, who is 7, always says what she is doing out loud. Not whispering, actual talking. I spend two full days a week with her so it gets pretty frustrating when you're trying to focus. I've not said anything to her about it for a year, as I was scared i would be being rude, but recently i did.
I said to her, '-*name*\-, could you please stop talking to yourself, you can talk in your head it is just like listening to two songs a once, you know?' then she looked at me confused and left. The next time i saw her, she didn't talk to me, then her mother came up to me and asked me to stop teasing her.
She came up to me, and we played a board game with my friend and she started to do it again. When she went to the bathroom, my friend asked me why she was doing it, and I said it was one of her little quirks. She asked if i could ask her to stop, and i said i would as it was annoying me too. When she came back I said '-*name-,* could you please try not to talk to yourself, me and -*friend*\- find it quite annoying. Then she started the cry, so her mother took her home.
Am I the asshole for saying something that made her upset before?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
wYK8IVOsW4edLH4U69qp1myUTa6dNlbJ
|
ab0a50
|
{
"description": "not wanting to sleep with my gf on NYE",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to sleep with my GF on NYE?
|
So, my girlfriend and I do not live together. Our New Year's Eve plans are to eat at a restaurant then go to the top of a hill to watch the fireworks over our nearest city. This is my first NYE with my GF and the first one where I will not be going to a party. Over text, we were talking about what we would do after seeing the fireworks at midnight. I have a curfew on my car - I cannot drive after 11pm (it sucks!) so I can't drive home. She offered for me to stay at her house since it is within walking distance of where we would be watching fireworks from.
​
I have slept at hers a couple of times before, but I don't want to this time. When i told her this she said something like "well let's just not do anything tomorrow night then" and now she's really annoyed that I don't want to sleep at hers (again, this is over text message).
​
Am I the asshole? Surely if I don't want to sleep with her I shouldn't have to give a reason to her not to? Is she over-reacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
fX7wwXsEPdJjPDKyjknZr9243cAQJsYf
|
auy6f9
|
{
"description": "asking a group of women to get out of our seats",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking a group of women to get out of our seats?
|
So I went to a cabaret show the other day with my bf and we got in with a staff pass, which means we didn't pay anything but we had to sit up the back in the undesignated free-pass seats. We luckily got in the door first and nabbed ourselves the best seats in the free area, no poles blocking our view, clear view of stage, etc etc.
Anyway, during the interval, we went outside to stretch our legs and when we came back there was a group of 4 women sitting in our chairs. We went up to the seats and stood there for a bit, thinking maybe these ladies were just talking to their friends and they'd go back to their original seats afterwards.. but after an awkward while it became clear that they'd just moved and stolen our chairs while we were outside. They were ignoring us while we were standing there looking at them, so I went up to them and said "Hey, are you guys going back to your seats soon? The show's about to start." to which they replied "...what". So told them they were sitting in our seats and they got annoyed and go "Oh... ok then, fine." and move a couple chairs down.
It was such a weird situation! I'm thinking.. who does that?? Why can't everyone just do the right thing and stay in their chairs and we can all just avoid all this awkwardness and confrontation?? I felt annoyed at them for pulling a sneaky and doing that, but then again the seating was unassigned so technically they weren't our seats to keep anyway?? I'm so confused. Was I an asshole for asking these ladies to move?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
JDlbn9veQGGpZoKtCg0bgOPP8Dj4o5EZ
|
b8ou6s
|
{
"description": "refusing to take down a google review that mentions my sister",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for refusing to take down a google review that mentions my [30F] sister [21F]
|
I am on mobile so I'm sorry for any formatting issues.
Me and my husband went on a short spring break trip to visit his sister who lives an 8 hour drive from us.
On the course of this trip we went to a Ramen and Poke Bowl restaurant.
My sister had recently discovered it and I wanted to try it. We all enjoyed our meals.
The next day she discovered they had charged her extra tip. Her meal was about $10, she left about a $3 tip. They had charged her more than $20.
In the restaurant they had given our table, consisting of 3 parties, each their own "checkbook." A little black book for your ticket and your credit card. I am not sure of the proper name. There is very little chance the waitress made a mistake.
When I leave credit/debit card tips, they usually dont post until the next business day. This waitress ran it immediately. That seems fishy to me.
When my sister discovered the error, she freaked. She double checked her receipt and started ranting about punching them and yelling at them and never tipping servers at their business again. She was insisting the waitress stole from her.
On my way home I left a Google review, as I usually do. The owner of this business replied to my review. I guess it upset them because they mentioned it to my sister and I think that they have asked her to take it down.
This is the gist of my original review, which I edited after they gave her money back:
Double check your receipts if you leave a tip on your credit card! Whoever is running the receipts here is stealing. My sister realized they had done this to her and is going back to fix it. Very untrustworthy business!
My edited review:
Double check your receipts if you leave a tip on your credit card! Whoever is running the receipts here is either stealing or making mistakes. The manager corrected the mistake for my sister, but be wary!
That night after my sister got home, she starts texting me about my review saying "they helped me, you can take it down." I replied, "ok good, I'll edit it."
An hour goes by, she berates me about how my review is still there. She hasnt replied in 24 hrs. I think she is mad at me.
Am I the asshole for not taking my review down because it upsets my sister?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
SQZMtYiceIf3rOvmjmPe8mMIl4nIyPE6
|
b7h9kb
|
{
"description": "threatening to withold funding from another Player's D&D character's pursuit of their ultimate goal",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for threatening to withold funding from another Player's D&D character's pursuit of their ultimate goal?
|
In my D&D group's most recent session, the party fulfilled one of the party member's campaign goals by taking control of a castle that was previously held by bandits.
Over the course of the almost five hour session, our five person party fought our way through the castle while uncovering secret passageways, falling into traps, and getting the shit beaten out of us by bandits--you know, typical D&D stuff--but the whole time the other party member kept referring to the castle as "her castle" and instantly laying claim to the tens of thousands of gold worth of coins and items inside.
Relatively early on, I noted that I really liked one of the rooms in the castle, and when I was told that it was going to be her room, I told her that she would have to make some concessions (not just to me but the whole party) because this was a group project. I bring up the fact that restoring and maintaining the castle will be expensive and that pretty bluntly say that my character, who at the time had way more money than the others wouldn't be particularly interested in helping fund the other character's project if he didn't get anything from it. Not only was loot collection heavily constrained, but it was pretty strongly implied that my character and the other male party member wouldn't even get to live in the castle that we all helped take. As far as I can tell, I was the only one who was unhappy about this arrangement.
As you can imagine, I was a bit miffed by all this and between the lack of loot and an extremely prolonged series of horrible attack rolls, my attitude was noticeably sour by the end of the session, but I never considered the idea that I might be the asshole until I was called out before the other player's vistory speech. The other player told me that she still intends to assist my character in his goal but that she didn't appreciate me threatening hers.
I suppose I could make excuses about how withholding funding is absolutely something my character would do or about how little my fiscal contributions would have mattered in the end (like I said, we found upward of 15,000gp worth of coins and items in the castle), but I'm not interested in using in-game reasons to justify this primarily out of game conflict. In the end it boils down to the fact that I was dissatisfied with how the other player was handling the mission and clearly stated my interest in taking action that would hinder her.
Am I the asshole? And, if so, how do I go about making things right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
OOmwqiBuBH1nS0Ez1d6kMX0Fgv6DfFVm
|
al70gi
|
{
"description": "not \"respecting my (dead) mom's wishes\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not "respecting my (dead) mom's wishes"?
|
Mom died recently, leaving behind my half-brother, my niece, and me. Mom was in poor health for the past two years. My brother has lived on her place rent-free for 20 years. Mom paid all his expenses for at least the last few years (he lost his job). His social security checks begin this spring, but they will be a modest $1,200 monthly.
Mom's always been high-strung and high-maintenance. I loved her, but she made me crazy. So I told my brother he could have her land and mobile home if he would just take (better) care of her. I don't live nearby and still work 12-hour shifts. Well, he didn't take good care of her. At one point, I had to drive her to the emergency room because we couldn't get him on the phone. There were several other instances of him not caring for her, and not looking out for her like an unemployed son with absolutely nothing else to do should have been doing. I'm not saying I was any better as an absentee daughter, but we went on outings occasionally, and I definitely wasn't any worse as her daughter than he was as her son.
Her will leaves her estate to me and my brother, 50/50. I was named independent executrix. I knew mom had a life insurance split between me and brother, and also knew she had two CD's, one for each of us. As it turns out, she has three CD's for $5,000, supposedly one each for me, my brother, and my niece. That's their understanding, at least.
AITA for keeping her cash assets, including the CD's. After the smoke clears and I pay for everything I said I would, it might be $25,000. Her home and land, otoh, are worth at least $68,000, with a fair market value of about $80-90,000.
We went to probate hearing then had it out afterwards. They are very unhappy that I won't just turn over $10,000 to the two of them, even though I will only have about 25k, while they will have a minimum of 68k. My niece had shot a warning volley across the bow a few weeks ago when she said, "Surely you realize property is not as valuable as cash. Besides, granny meant for me to have that money, and daddy to have "his" CD. (The CD's do not list any beneficiaries).
So, AITA? And if they already think that I AM the asshole, shouldn't I just go ahead and make arrangements to sell the home and land so we can each get what we really think we should have out of mom's estate, 50% to me and my brother, $5,000 to my niece?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
C3wCdjU3Q9xcBPqP2G0T08knTSqzcI3s
|
a8dk7y
|
{
"description": "having my bank cancel a check I sent to my friend? it's been a month and he hasn't cashed it. I've also sent him a text making sure he got it and he never responded",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having my bank cancel a check I sent to my friend? It’s been a month and he hasn’t cashed it. I’ve also sent him a text making sure he got it and he never responded.
|
I’m very particular about my finances and don’t want this $240 to come out at some random time in the future. The money was for a football game he came to town for. I’d be happy to pay him if he brings it up in the future, but I can’t stand having this pending payment out there.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
MGMwvat8zymexyx1lND85D6vmJxpWRei
|
b8t8fs
|
{
"description": "destroying a decent friendship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for destroying a decent friendship?
|
So, this person and I have been friends for quite some time. We talk a lot, hang out occasionally, and text all the time.
Recently however, we have been growing increasingly distant, and it’s been hard for me to accept the possibility that maybe they didn’t want to be friends anymore.
What makes this situation even worse is that I think so might like this person in a way that exceeds the bounds of guy-girl friendship. She really doesn’t seem to feel that way, despite showing signs of it all throughout the 8 or so months that we have known each other.
It’s been stressful, and there’s a lot of stuff I can’t go into because it would become a novel, but I also learned she did some things that violated my morals and so I feel that this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m done
I stopped talking with her at school, and over text. I respond with short answers and she seems kind of worried. I feel awful, but inside I think I did the right thing for ME.
However, she didn’t seem to think so because she texted me and asked me what the problem was with me. I said, “It pains me to say this because we used to be such good friends, but I’m not sure that I want that anymore. I’m done. I’m not going to apologize what I’ve done, but I will say that I hope it doesn’t hurt your feelings.”
So, Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
aRNNfyIyvBD3jHm2hJfHhV3taqUZ2piS
|
a92xb5
|
{
"description": "not feeling bad after I opened my car door into his car in a parking lot",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not feeling bad after I opened my car door into his car in a parking lot?
|
I parked in parking lot that has terribly narrow spots and I knew I had to be careful getting out but I still misjudged it, partly because it was dark and the car was black. I opened the door slowly but there was an audible tap. My bad.
The owner's standing there. I'm embarrassed and I say, "Sorry, let me know if I did anything to your car." I'm annoyed with myself and wait for him to inspect the door.
The guy says to me all outraged, "Be careful, man, that's a $70,000 car." Sounds exactly like an entitled rich bro in an 80s teen movie.
Now I notice it's a Porsche and it's still got the blank paper plates in the license holder. A lot of rich douchebags with luxury cars in Los Angeles do this even when the car isn't new so they drive like assholes and not get caught. Now, I'm angry at this guy and I just say, "Why don't you get a license plate first?" And just walk away. I no longer gave a shit about his car. He says, "Fuck you!" as I go into the store.
When I got back, he had spit on my door handles. He didn't bother keying my car because it's already scratched, I guess.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
ZvrTl75EVoaNzM58yiKEhvhgLBnChDcG
|
b5ftze
|
{
"description": "asking my mom to take down her wedding photo",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking my mom to take down her wedding photo?
|
I got divorced about 7 months ago and had to come live in my childhood home. My family has been wonderful, and supportive. My mother recently got a new job, but before that she worked in the same office as my ex. Due to harassment from him and his father (the boss), she had to find new employment.
She brought home all of her office decor and found new places to put them around the home, including a very large canvas print from her wedding - prominently featuring me and my ex-husband smiling and holding hands.
This memory of her day means a lot to her, I know, but I want to cry every time I walk through the hallway where this is displayed. Am I an asshole if I ask her to remove it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
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