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20qNt4g7VGRN1ofMQyh1x92WHzPj50XH
|
aerh47
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my fathers funeral",
"pronormative_score": 45,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my fathers funeral.
|
So my dad recently passed away. Waiting on the autopsy for the results. But it’s speculated to be an OD.
I have never had a relationship with him, at all. Out of the 32 years I’ve been alive, I have seen him once. Yes, ONCE. I’ve spoken with him one time in the last 18 years. There has never been an attempt. He was in and out of jail his entire life and constantly using drugs. I’ve made my peace along time ago about him never wanting to be there. I even had a son of my own and still no contact.
So when I got a call from my dads side telling me he had died I wasn’t surprised. I was a little shocked but nothing emotional. I talked to an aunt and she was sobbing and telling me how much he loved me and how he always wanted to talk to me. Then went on to say something about his phone being broken. I know she wanted an emotional response but all I could think of to say is “I’m sorry.” In my head, I was like it’s 2019 how could he not get a hold of me but you could.
He will be buried either Sunday or Monday. I live in WA and it’s being held in WI. I keep trying to find a reason to go but it would be so FUCKING weird. Like I’m the only child he had so all these random family members and people would be telling me about him or giving condolences. I don’t think I could go longer than 5 minutes with saying I don’t actually know the guy so leave me alone. Maybe I’m being a dick about it but I don’t want to go. There is nothing there for me, he’s dead now. Like am I expected to go and listen to some BS stuff about how he was a good guy or maybe I should go and see the needles scattered through his place that he used to shoot up drugs.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Nw6vcJwYAq02mYsMGYBJvBndCupJ8ECr
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b2evxp
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{
"description": "making my gf pay for the television subscription even though we spilt everything else",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I make my gf pay for the television subscription even though we spilt everything else?
|
This is just a minor annoyance, nothing world ending. We had Netflix and Hulu(which I pay for as I’ve had both for years) and an Internet subscription. It was a promotional internet subscription for $50 a month. Now that she’s added a cable subscription even if we decide to go back to just internet, we’ve lost that promotion and the lowest price will be $70 a month.
She ordered the cable subscription without telling me adding an extra $80 to our bill. She said that there was just nothing ever on Netflix or Hulu that she wanted to watch. That she’s the one home most of the time so it’s not fair to not have some options that she would enjoy to watch. I’m annoyed at the loss of the promotional internet price and the extra $80 a month without even discussing it with me first.
I can’t stand regular cable anymore. Haven’t had it in years and have no intention of watching any of it. Since she took it upon herself to add an $80 package I feel like that’s a bill she should foot solely.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
7VmV5jFuztxL7fUYEk0SjGqEw7sVyUsF
|
aaqqaz
| null |
AITA: Wife wants brother to be more comfortable than me.
|
AITA... Long time lurker, first time poster... Ok here goes, My brother in law is coming to visit for a few days. My wife decided that in order for her brother to be comfortable, I must vacate my room and sleep in the, as she says "dark, dusty, disgusting" basement. For context, with the exception of flooring, which is painted, the basement if fully finished, there is nothing wrong with it. I said NO. I told my wife how I would be working doubles for the next few days and would need to as much sleep as I can and could not afford to change my routine and achieve the proper amount of sleep. This was unacceptable to my wife and she decided to call me selfish. Just to clarify, I am a corrections officer, and sleep is the most important thing for me to do my job safely and competently. Due to my job and its hours sleeping in separate rooms is necessary for my wife and I. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
IfFAegQQHXGt00k98TTg5MM3HcMmVJuQ
|
a8u8f7
|
{
"description": "telling my teacher that I did a whole project by myself",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I tell my teacher that I did a whole project by myself?
|
Long time lurker on this subreddit. I'm in 9th grade. Basically what happened was that there was a huge project which was displayed at my school's open day and was also counted towards our grade.
So two weeks before the project, I messaged the 8 other members and said something like "Hey, we should get started on this." No one answered. Okay, maybe they were busy. Fast forward to a week and a half later, I started getting worried and messaged them to start the project. I also opened a Google Doc and shared it with everyone. I wasn't the group leader but I asked them to start doing stuff and no one was responding. Over the course of the next two days, I saw that all of them read the messages but no one was responding and only one person actually opened the Google Doc (but didn't do anything).
The deadline was on Monday, and by Sunday I had finished around 2/3rds of the project. Then at 9:00 p.m. that night, several of my groupmates messaged me and asked "if there was anything I could do to help". I was more relieved than pissed off as I genuinely needed help. They sent me a few pictures and typed a few words. Out of the 16 pages of the project, I did 14; and two of my classmates didn't do ANYTHING, though one of them apologized the next day, which I brushed off.
Some of my groupmates also apologized through the chat though some didn't.
Although I was happy that we managed to finish the project and got a good grade, I was also pretty mad that I was the one who did the whole thing and all of the others got the grade too. I'm thinking about telling my teacher what happened, but I also feel like I'd be an asshole if I do so because my groupmates apologized genuinely for not helping (because there was actually a lot of homework that weekend but I had to do it too) So reddit, WIBTA? If I am the asshole, what should I do instead?
Sorry for bad formatting (I'm on mobile) and bad English (I'm ESL).
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
CJNiVWcGJdIIOJTyX6Q2r4fIC0FCkwr1
|
ags7yc
|
{
"description": "having no interest in playing ARK with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For having no interest in playing ARK with my friends?
|
I have been playing ark with the same group of people for a few months after I bought Extinction on sale. I saw the trailer and had to have it. Let's call them A and B.
I start playing it every day with A who didn't have the Extinction Map so we played on the free Ragnorok Map, we play for a few weeks when another friend (B) buys the base ARK game to join us on Ragnorok.
Weeks pass , adventures are had , animals are tamed , bases are built, I want our tribe of 3 to take on a dungeon, A vehemently doesn't want to says they scare her alot. I pressure A a little but when she says they give her honest to God panic attacks I relent and commit to doing them with 2 people.
The Holidays come and A gets Extinction and we start looking for a server to play on , while still playing on Ragnorok with B. I go to bed early one night and B decides to buy Extinction and they both find a server for us all to play on. It's terrible, it's basically a cheat server, hit a tree once and your level 100 and have 10000 pieces of wood. I tell them both I don't like it and would like to find a new one together, A gets all upset that her effort of two days is for nothing and she is not changing servers. B is silent.
Drama transpires on the server with it's owners, they kept resetting and locking the server with no notice, A and B take it on themselves to find a new server without telling me any of this. I come back to find they have moved to an even easier server that is incredibly laggy for me.
Cut to now , I can't even get through the games main menu before I lose all interest in playing the game or with them. Now both A and B message me every few days asking where I'm at. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
daJfh9npWYFXhRUNIbpiP7drkoZGigAX
|
avm1m8
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend to talk to his mother",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not wanting my boyfriend to talk to his mother?
|
Now hear me out. I know that sounds terrible.
According to my boyfriend, he lived with his mother until he was about 8. He would visit his father on occasion, and one day while his father was dropping him back off to his mother's house, they found no one home. His father then told my boyfriend that he would now be living with him. That was one of the last times my boyfriend had seen his mother in person.
And now, about a year ago, my boyfriend got a hold of his mother's phone number. A few text exchanges, and then a few happy phone calls, and my boyfriend was so happy to have his mother back. My boyfriend is a very very loving guy and loves my own mother like his own, so I could tell he was so happy to have his own mother back.
A few weeks later, literally the night before his birthday, she said, "I love you and I'll call you and send you a present tomorrow," to him. Then, she ghosted for months. And I could see my boyfriend becoming so sad because of it. He didn't talk about it, and if I brought it up he would get quiet and not say anything. He had already been abandoned by her once before.
I ended up texting her myself and I did chew her out. I wasn't mean, but I told her she's missing out on the most sweet boy she would ever meet and that I would pay for her phone bill, stamps, whatever she needs to at the very least send him a text. I implied that if she can't at least do that, then my boyfriend and I would not contact her again. No response from her.
6 months later, a text. She tells him that she loves him and she is sorry, and that she won't leave him again. And she admired me for getting mad at her, actually. And that she will be contacting him again soon with a call.
He doesn't hear from her for about a month. Christmas rolls around, and I ask my boyfriend if he wants to send her a merry Christmas text. He shyly says yes, but he asks me if I can do it because he's too scared to.
This isn't the first time he's asked me to text her for him. He wants me to do it so he doesn't have to face the facts of getting nothing in return as directly. I had texted her multiple times at this point.
Can you guess what happens next? Yup, nothing. And that brings us to the current point.
Am I the asshole for wanting to cut her out, even if she sends us a text in the future? I hate seeing this pattern of him getting filled with love for her then getting his poor heart ripped out. I want to say so many mean things to her and I want to be nasty, it takes all of me to not be mean. I would be open to her coming back if I see massive change but it would take some effort on her part.
TLDR;
My boyfriend's mother who left him at the age of 8 came back into his life. She will get him hopeful that he can have a mother presence in his life again by calling him and making promises and then rip his heart out by not responding to any texts or calls. Am I the asshole for wanting to cut her out?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
zN9ec0f6VFrH7ZYaD4elveNl8D0BM2Sx
|
a0cnsn
|
{
"description": "getting a job done myself when my bil offered to help",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting a job done myself when my BiL offered to help?
|
At the start of this year I moved into my own home, choosing it was kind of a rush job as where I was living before was getting a bit unbearable. The house was also reasonably priced in a semi-decent area and ticked a lot of boxes I had.
So this house that I bought had a few little things that needed doing, one of them being having a new door and frame fitted to where my kitchen meets a little back passage. This back passage is unheated so it let's in a terrible draft and just oozes cold.
I'd talked to my sister about this and with her bloke being a joiner she said that she would mention it to him and see if he'd be willing to help out. He seemed more than happy to help so so I put the job off until he had the time.
Anyway so fast forward to the present day, winter is here and it's fucking freezing. Still no sign of the door being fitted and my heating bill is through the roof. I've Brought it up a few times and he's got the things necessary to do the job (not a huge cost though, around £20) but as far as I can tell has no intention of doing anything else, So I went and bought a door and had it fitted.
Now because he'd offered to help, and bought the things necessary to do the job and I've gone elsewhere they're being a bit funny with me, like I'm the one who is in the wrong for accepting the help in the first place. They're adament they had every intention of helping, they've just been too busy. From my point of view, they've had the the best part of a year to do something while it was warm and nothing has been done, so now it's cold and a problem I had to do something. I'd even asked if they could just drop the things they'd bought off (they have a van I have a hatchback) I'd have used them but they said they'd do the full job.
So, who has been the asshole here? Me for going somewhere else to get the work done even though they offered to help and bought the things necessary or them for leaving me hanging?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
bmQhZCnol1w6boO0CUfWnRukUIl8IcnR
|
acmw5f
|
{
"description": "keeping photos of my underage friend on my phone",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I kept photos of my underage friend on my phone?
|
throwaway bc ppl know my reddit
i can alr feel the pedo alarms going!!! ringing!!!! people ready to yell at me!!! ok but u can chill the fk out for a moment
i turn 18 this year (oh shit fuck end me why im NOT READY TO HAVE THE RIGHT TO VOTE AND BUYING ALCOHOL AND ???????) and i have v obv not come to terms with it.
among my friends im the 3rd/4th eldest. our youngest (he's 15, 16 this year), let's call him Leo, is.... ok so you know the children and teenage kids of some celebs???? you know the kpop wave and how kpop idols look???? you know That One Friend Who Drops Jaws In The Super Nonviolent Way? that's leo. his visuals are unreal. All of us have officially declared he's hands down no questions asked the most attractive out of all of us.
leo has insecurity issues because of shit family (reading thru reddit and the net has enlightened me to know that sadly no shit families have existed before the dawn of internet there goes my faith in humanity) and other Life Happened reasons. the rest of us make it a point to appreciate his general existence because yes he does deserve it. so heres the AITA moment im concerned about.
i have exactly 2 of him being a soft child in selfies saved on my phone. Originally as a general rule of my life i didnt keep photos of people on my phone bc i always feel like its sort of??? idk weird and every now and then my parents get a glimpse thru my phone and its gonna be tough explaining "who dis" and "who dat" tho personally i dread "omg u took a selfie!" (narrator's note: op regrets all selfies taken). leo is aware i have these downloaded on my phone but has requested that i only show one of them if i ever want to show him to people (son is awkward and both hates and likes validation). that came up because i told him that after me gushing abt him to a separate circle of People I Know they wanted to see him, so he sent me the 2nd picture i have on my phone.
WIBTA if i continued to keep his selfies on my phone even tho i become a legal adult this year?
Asking bc a different friend was in abusive relationship with a pedo who USED to be friends w us all but we ditched that scumsucker and got him banned from the site he used to pick up minors. im scared im breaking into Creep Territory and in general am scared of turning into pedo ex-friend so now im super fucking touchy and easily triggered abt age gaps and boundaries like photos even if theyre just normal selfies.
please take note hes the only one ive saved photos of due to reasons alr stated so it feels like im doing smth super wrong even if hes aware i have them saved (he hasnt asked me to delete them tho im worried he hasn't asked me to out of shyness/awkwardness/etc)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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X4qJ1OfirNHTGNzufV0F9nt5gWP4U06U
|
afoaor
|
{
"description": "cutting off a former friend and advising current ones to do the same",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off a former friend and advising current ones to do the same?
|
This has been on my mind for a very long time now. TLDR at the end. Back in 2016, when I was in my second year of high school, I met a couple of guys who had a lot of common interests with me (regarding anime, video games, movies, etc), so I tried to start a friendship of some sort.
These guys had their own small friend group but even so they were still kinda ostracized or at least excluded from the rest of the class. Both of them were pretty introverted and nerdy (when it comes to studying and certain interests), so I kinda just talked to them when I could in the beginning, trying to integrate them in my main group of friends.
But one of those guys, "Paul", started acting really weird towards me. Every morning when I got there and it was just the two of us I'd say hi and take my seat. He would always ask "What are you doing?" and poke his head over me or my desk, which I didn't mind at first, but after a while it became very tiring. I would be finishing an urgent assignment, studying for an important test or just browsing some personal things on my phone and even when I showed absolute no interest in interacting with him, he would continue there pressing me and invading my personal space in a physical way (which I've always had a huge problem with, and he knew that).
Not only that but he would text me EVERY DAY. Like I said, when he got my number it was no big deal, we were talking normally and I was glad to have a friend with the same interests as me (since there were none in my main friend group). But after about 5 months or so, it got really annoying. I would tell him a lot of times "Oh I'll watch this video later when I can", "I'm studying right now", "I've got class now", trying to convey that I was very busy. Not only did that never work, but he would then absolutely flood my phone (like 20 messages in 10 minutes) so that I could answer later.
Also something I noticed after all this time is that he tended to be quite condescending when discussing our common interests with me (which I fucking hate). After I found reddit, I found the sub that described him perfectly, r/iamverysmart.
About a year went by with me trying to avoid interacting with Paul as a friend, I wanted to be a colleague at most, since he started getting pretty obsessive and being near him was downright uncomfortable. I know that I should have confronted him about me not wanting to be friends anymore, but I was so scared of hurting his feelings that I just tried to back away quietly. Eventually, in like mid-2017, he stopped invading my space in class and the daily messages finally stopped. I was so happy, since this was my senior year and I really wanted to focus on getting into a good university, and I couldn't handle anymore stress from him.
But then, in the second half of 2017, Paul started to flood two of my female friends (from that main friend group) with messages just like he did to me. The same behaviors of invading their space as well. They both are like me and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so they endured it. We graduated, he went to a public university, I went to another one in a different town, and these two girls took 2018 to try again for the university they wanted (here in Brazil to get into universities you have to take a test at the end of the year and try to make through the cut). We thought it was all over, but no: he would still message them endlessly.
It got to a point where they were so stressed that they were afraid they wouldn't pass the test they were studying so hard for, because he would take so much of their time. I kept telling them to block him (I blocked him after they told me how they were so stressed), but they still didn't want to make him feel bad.
Then, he started talking about his depression to one of the girls. She shared the messages in a group chat asking for help, and we were pretty scared about how he would react to her responses. We told her to tell Paul to seek psychological treatment, he kept saying he didn't need it, the conversation ended. After a while it was all the same again, and they both pitied him a lot, feeling really bad for him after that talk.
I spent about 3 months trying to convince them to block him, regardless of his mental state. 2019 rolled by and one of them got the courage to do so and blocked him yesterday, but the one Paul sent the depressed messages to hasn't. She's scared that he might do something crazy to himself if she blocks him, but I keep insisting that she does so, because her mental health has gotten pretty bad over this as well.
I personally don't think he would hurt himself, but these things can never be overlooked. I feel pretty shitty trying to cut some of the only friends Paul has off of his life, but they're my friends too and I feel they don't deserve to be someone's emotional crutch.
So AITA for advocating so hard for them to just disappear from his life? I don't know how to feel, he is really fucking annoying, but we were some of his only friends and he clearly has a lot of issues. Some friends told me that I was too harsh for cutting him off, and even after a whole year after doing so I still feel guilty.
Sorry for the long post, first one in here.
TLDR: Cut off all ties with former friend who turned out to be pretty obsessive and am trying to make my friends, the new targets of his obsession, do the same. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Ii1eYE3YW6ERorVphTy2mMfSpEJZnfBi
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9ugifd
|
{
"description": "not wanting my brother to come back home",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my brother to come back home.
|
The build up of the current situation:
My brother (about to be 21) rented a room from people he knew and had a friend living in another room they were renting too. Brother sees this as a good gig, likes the fact is around people he already knows. This is where it gets frustrating, though. My brother managed to get a good job and saved enough money to pay his renters **a year** in advance. Okay, that's meh, but you're doing fine and like the place, so you do you.
Couple months in, my brother starts to realize that the home owners are assholes. They treat their oldest kid like shit emotionally and degrades him. The man of the house would threaten friends the room renters would bring over (my brother and his friend). I spent the night there and the man was up until 3 AM, drinking to where he couldn't stand up, blasting some weird indie rock band. He also managed to break one of the renters new guitar stand when attempting to get himself up.
I could understand wanting to leave this situation. My brother clearly hated the environment and I didn't blame him, or his friend who moved out after the home owners yelled at the girlfriend for taking 2 showers (mind you, she is paid for by the boyfriend who rents the room and part of bills). More months follow my brother doesn't contact our parents at all. I come to learn he has been complaining to my grandma and just getting food and stuff from them. I find this weird because he always tells me that my parents don't care about him when all they did was give him advice because my father wasn't happy this his son was being taken advantage of.
10 months in and my brother doesn't have a job, no car, nothing. He claims about not having a job because every business is too far, but he lives 2 blocks away from a food 4 less and jack in the box. Public buses also exist. He mopes for a couple more weeks and then suddenly starts going out with friends? He is eating the home owners food, living there since he paid a year in advance despite him hating living there. I get frustrated with this because my brothers owns 5 gaming consoles. And more than 100+ games combained for each console. He complained about having no money while he stays at the house and plays games, eats, or sleep.
Coming onto this month my brother talks to my dad and my father lectures him saying he can come back whenever and I full heartedly did not agree with this because my brother took no chances to get a job, sell anything to get money or a car, didn't do anything. Complained only to my grandparents but he wants to come back with his family. To do what? He doesn't go to school either, dropped college. Last time he was here too he didn't clean, didn't go out to try get a job and my parents didnt like that but here he comes again.
I havent talked to my brother in 3 months because of personal reasons but before this we were super close for siblings and knew what was going on with each others lives for the most part. But i don't like him any more, even more so because of the situation.
AITA
sorry if it's all jumbled, frustration is making my thoughts messy
|
HISTORICAL
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aod1ii
| null |
AITA DND demands
|
Idk if this fits in this sub but me and a few friends decided to try DND and I ended up with the DM role, all was fine, we made characters, I DMed for over an hour 3 nights in a row, we do online sessions, and I went to my dad's house, where I'm not able to DM as I can't talk loudly or anything, and then we stopped playing for a few days cuz I wanted to play on the Oculus rift I just got, it is now the 8th day I think we haven't played but I said I'd run a session tonight, this apparently didn't please them because they wanted to play right away, I said I wanted to play my games then when I was ready for bed I would DM for maybe an hour, my friend (who has played DND before) says that we should play longer amounts of time and that commonly parties play for 12 hours a week, basically all my awake time for a day, they decided to replace me but I still want to DM, any advice, also I forgot to mention I signed up to DM 3 people and ended up with 7, also I am now being accused of being a quitter and "should realize being a DM takes your time away", also keep in mind I'm a high-schooler who has homework and other things to do during the day
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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arrz10
|
{
"description": "smoking weed behind my girlfriends back",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for smoking weed behind my girlfriends back?
|
Okay, to start this off I will say my girlfriend asked me two specific things when we first got semi serious, “Don’t cheat on me” and “Don’t do drugs” honestly that was no problem, the reason this was even brought up is I have an extensive history of smoking weed through my freshman year of my college but I had quit a month prior to us meeting. (We’ve been together 4 months) Anyway, yesterday my buddy who is leaving for the Air Force in 2 weeks wanted to get high one last time before he went into the military. It just so happened my girlfriend was at work for the next 5 hours so we went and got high. Well one thing leads to another and I go to my girlfriends house and everything’s fine. I get home to a text asking if I smoked weed tonight, and I straight up told her the truth that I did and gave reasoning. She said she smelled it on my breath then she proceeds to threaten to break up with me, calls me an idiot and makes me feel overall just incompetent for the next hour, telling me how much she hates me and how much I’ve hurt her. Granted her deceased father was a drug addict and it explains her negative feelings towards the situation but AITA for doing it and really still not feeling like it’s that big of a deal?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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axhplh
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{
"description": "telling my roommates I wont sign another lease without them",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my roommates I wont sign another lease without them
|
I recently got busted and am going on probation , as a result my income has dropped and i can no longer afford my house .
I got two roommates quick so i wouldnt get evicted but the new lease is coming up and they are refusing to sign it but still expect to live there , I dont want to be thier finicial scapegoat and i dont wanna be at risk of somebody moving out and not being able to cover rent .
I feel like being on a lease is part of being an adult
AITA for telling them I wont sign another lease unless they are on it also and they pay their share of the security deposit
​
PS what i dont get is that if they move out they are probably just going to have to sign a lease and pay a deposit on another place anyways
|
HISTORICAL
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azw9pd
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{
"description": "calling out people who offer me seats (thinking I'm pregnant)? I am not",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
WIBTA for calling out people who offer me seats (thinking I'm pregnant)? I am not.
|
I'm curvy, but petite. I'm 5'1" and about a size 6-8 US with most of my weight being in my butt and boobs (I'm a 30F so big boobs, small frame).
At least once/month, a woman offers me a seat on the subway - crowed, not crowed, doesn't matter. ALWAYS slim/skinny women. Sometimes they watch me walk in, stare at my stomach area then immediately get up, wave me over loudly "would you like my seat?!" and then become insistent when I say no, I'm fine. At first I used to say, "No thanks - I'm fine!" and now I just say "No" bluntly and look away. They still offer. Sometimes they'll be sitting for 2-3 stops without looking at me, then when they *do* look they immediately panic and offer me their seat while standing and making room for me to sit. "Please, please take my seat!", etc.
I wear a typical "Canada Goose" style jacket with a waist belt cinched in to emphasize my smaller waist. My sister even joked "Now people will stop offering you seats on the subway!"
Again - I DO NOT LOOK PREGNANT. People often point out how small my waist is.
It happened this morning. Got on subway, stood for 2 stops, woman looks up and then loudly asks me if I'd like to take her seat while getting up and moving away, waving me to sit. I said "Nope" and looked away. I could see people staring at me like, "Well, that was a bit rude...!" (to me because I said no and looked away!)
My husband, at this point, is pretty angry that this keeps happening because he knows it hurts and he can see in my face that I'm embarrassed. Today he 'joked' that next time he's going to call them out and embarrass them, but I told him I don't need defending and can stand up for myself.
But WIBTA for calling them out and embarrassing them back? What do I even say to that?? "No thanks - and I'm not pregnant...." He thinks that would be enough as they'd just shut up or apologize but I think they'd just double down and deny that's why they were offering. But I'm entirely able-bodied, don't have a cane, I'm young (37 but easily pass for mid-late 20's), I stand and don't complain, etc. There were even other women standing around me today - all small framed/slim. I didn't see her jump to offer any of them seats.
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WRONG
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at0tcl
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{
"description": "sleeping with my college friend's high school crush",
"pronormative_score": 73,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA for sleeping with my college friend’s high school crush?
|
So this past winter break my good friend from college, Caroline, invited me on a 10-day trip to Germany.
I knew Caroline “studied” in Germany for 3 weeks during summer while she was 15.
We arrive in Germany and she says she’s reconnected with a friend, named Jack, from when she studied there and she asked if I’d be up to meet him. I said sure.
Jack introduced us to a group of his hometown friends, and as the night progressed Caroline begins HEAVILY flirting with one of Jack’s friends, Paul. She’s so into Paul that she’s actively ignoring me/anyone else in the group who tries talk to her. She later hooks up with Paul (while me and Jack try to get some sleep in the bed next to them) on the first night.
For the rest of the 10 days, Caroline would think up ways to see Paul. Since Paul didn’t have a car, he always came with Jack. So trip basically turned into Caroline making out constantly with Paul while I walked around and did touristy stuff with/got to know Jack.
I’ll skip a lot of details because this is already long...but basically at the end of the 10 days me and Jack were feeling really close, and while Paul and Caroline were out on the last night, me and Jack hooked up.
The next morning I told Caroline that I finally sealed the deal with Jack and to my surprise...she FLIPPED out on me, called me an asshole, bitch, slut, etc etc.
Apparently she had this huge crush on Jack during that 3 week program in high school (5 years ago) AND she planned the trip to Germany to see if “he still felt anything” AND that she was only getting with Paul to make Jack jealous, AND that if I really was her good friend I would have been able to tell that it was actually Jack who she liked and not Paul. Basically she was upset I hooked up with Jack and demanded I apologize.
I refused to apologize, I told her I’d have no way of knowing that, that I had fun with Jack and that I was creeped out that she planned a trip from the US to Germany JUST to see if her high school crush from 5 years ago liked her back.
It’s been over a month since we came back from the trip and she’s still demanding I apologize for being a “slutty bitch” and “ruining the trip.” I see no reason to, but she’s being so insistent I’m starting to wonder if I’m in the wrong.
AITA for sleeping with Jack?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9tgizu
| null |
AITA Can't tell if I'm emotionally unstable or bring ghosted
|
AITA So I’ll start off with some context. Me and this guy I'm dating are in a ldr. We texted every day since we've been together and then he stopped responding to all of my texts. After a couple of days of trying to contact him, I decided to do some digging and went through his likes on Instagram and he hadn't liked anything since he stopped responding so I assumed he probably broke or lost his phone or something and I didn't think much of it. Then a couple more days pass and he posts something on his Instagram story so I shoot him a text assuming he found his phone or got it fixed. Wait a day, no response. This time he just left it on read rather than not even opening it so I didn't really know what to think. Late that night I'm getting pretty annoyed and shoot another text that was unnecessarily passive aggressive: "If you don't want too talk to me you can just say so" and he responded with just "sorry" within 15 minutes. I feel like I was being a dick and I feel bad for being so passive aggressive and pushy, but on the other hand it was strange that he overall just stopped responding with no explanation for a whole week. I wouldn't even be mad at him if he just honestly said he wasn't interested in being with me or even just blocked me, but the ambiguity was driving me mad. We haven't talked since and it's been a couple of days since then idk if I should apologize or just forget it even happened and move on.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9yle2l
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"description": "getting mad at my sister for not knowing how to spell my first name",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my sister for not knowing how to spell my first name?
|
A while ago, I (16) was walking with my sister (17) back from the pool. I don’t know what we were talking about but somehow she ended up trying to spell my name.
My name is Nicholas by the way, a very common name (at least in the US).
She spelled it “Nickoles.” I told her she was wrong and then she tried “Nicholes,” “Nicholos,” “Nicholis,” and finally she spelled it correctly. It took her five tries to spell my name. Not only a common name, but the name of her brother.
I was hurt and got pretty mad. It seemed to show a lack of care and respect for me. What’s worse is that she can spell her friend’s names like Jerusha and Nevaeh.
My sister got extremely mad at me for getting mad at her and in the end, I got yelled at by both my sister and mother for a good while and then told that I shouldn’t be so mean to my sister for something so minor.
Let me note, I didn’t hit her or scream at her or anything terrible like that. The worst I did was yell once we started arguing about it and not talk to her for a few hours.
I honestly forgot about it for a good while but I remember the encounter and thought you all might be able to either confirm what I thought or explain why I was being an asshole.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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5J1BDnCrkvU8VaCR52FNJDVU40uU5I73
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afuxl9
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{
"description": "firing pupils over late payments",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for firing pupils over late payments?
|
I offer tuition to children from my home. The parents are asked to pay me by bank transfer at the start of the month and this is written out in their contract. Some folks do this manually and others set up a standing order where the bank automatically sends my fee across.
G has sent their children for lessons with me since May 2018. In October G was 2 weeks late paying me. In November G was 3 weeks late paying me. Both months I texted reminders and reminded G face to face. G never brought it up with me or premptively apologised for paying me late, it was me who had to bring it up with them each time. G also never mentioned a reason or apologised for paying me late just that "it's been paid now".
After being paid 3 weeks late in November I made it very clear that according to our contract I was to be paid at the start of the month. I asked that they do this in future and consider setting up a standing order. In December a few days passed without payment and I contacted G again. They said they were unsure about my holiday dates and told me that they planned to take Christmas day off that month and asked how much that changed their fee to (it actually didn't change their fee. My fee is averaged out each month and this is detailed in our contract). I confirmed that I would also be taking Christmas day off and asked them to pay me. G paid me and said they would set up a standing order for January.
This month 12 days passed with no payment. I did not chase G for my fee this time. Instead I gave them 10 days grace (taught their kids once in that time span) and then offered their lesson time to someone else. I texted them yesterday to say I didn't think things were working out and gave them a couple numbers for other tutors to try. G said they were "very sorry", they had set up a standing order but saw that it had accidentally been set up for 1st December 2019 instead of 1st January 2019. They sent me a screenshot of this. I replied to say that I had already passed their lesson time on to someone else.
Am I the asshole for not chasing them up a 4th month in a row? If the standing order mistake is true then am I the asshole for assuming that they just forgot to pay me again? I saw them FTF last week and G didn't mention setting up a standing order and didn't ask if the fee had come through. Am I the asshole for not asking them?
Other points that made me decide to finally drop them: they only paid me on time in June and September 2018. They paid me late in May, October, November, December 2018 and not at all this month. They took 10 weeks off over summer which is unusually long (other students take 3-6 weeks off over summer) so no fees paid in July/August. The kids turned up 50% of the time without their books. It took G from May to late September 2018 to buy 2/3 books I requested they purchase and I spent each week prior working from old books or photocopies that I provided. G never bought the 3rd book I asked them to get.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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n7d1r0O6SjloyEF7qkKGlMu8lHuTWtM3
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b7q660
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{
"description": "blocking my friend because she might have said something about my atheist whatsapp status that mom can't read to her. tl;dr",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITAH I blocked my friend because she might have said something about my atheist whatsapp status that mom can't read to her. Tl;dr
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My friend is the only person that knows about my atheism. I'm a closeted ex muslim and my family can't ever know about that.
When I first told her she texted my mum to pray for me as I think too much and need prayers, they both never told me, I knew on my own.
She thinks I'm sick and wants me to go to a psychiatrist, I refused saying I'm fine and will know when I need to go. She then texted mum asking if I was behaving differently, I found out on my own, she took a snapshot of their conversation "the non related part" and sent it to me but this is unrelated.
I found that mum never mentioned she talked to her and when I went home I checked mum's phone. " I know it's not okay but friend has depression and I feared she might have told mum unreal things about my mental health" I'm okay btw but she heard from another friend that I had problems concentrating for an exam and she took it way too far.
So, yesterday she asked me to delete her sister's number from the contacts that can see my status because she started asking my friend about what I mean with them, I said no and told her to simply shut her sister off by telling her she didn't know. She said she has no energy for that and can't deal with it now, maybe after she finishes her medication she'll be able to deal with her family knowing about me.
I said this is personal and I don't want to delete her sister, if she asks her something she can just ask me because it's my problem. She said not when it's in my house, and she doesn't want her family to know.
Today, for the first time mum asked me to translate my status - that are im English - , I asked why all of a sudden she said she wants to understand them.
I asked my friend if she said anything about the status, she said that whether she told mum or not where's the problem, and that since I'm putting these status mum can ask to know what they meant, then said she didn't tell her cuz she's not crazy nor afraid to tell me if she did.
I blocked her.
Tl;dr, friend might have told a big secret of mine to my mother and I didn't believe her that she didn't.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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jhC7WgcLUQh2IYrtJBbQDA6o8j8qjaCG
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b6uiz7
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{
"description": "trying to understand what was made of my aunt's money. she is mentally challenged",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA? I’m trying to understand what was made of my aunt’s money. She is mentally challenged.
|
My aunt is mentally challenged. She is middle-aged but with the mental age of a pre-teen. A few decades ago she was placed under legal guardianship of my uncle, her brother. She has a pension left by my late grandparents (her parents) and should be well off financially.
A few years ago her pension was cut off without explanation (at least to us). Since then, my uncle provides for her, but his whole family refer to her as a burden and her health and situation really deteriorated.
I found out a couple of weeks ago that the reason her pension was cut off was because my uncle has repeatedly ignored court summons and judge orders to provide accountability of her possessions and expenses. The court couldn’t establish If she was alive or not, so they withheld all her funds until someone comes forward.
I asked my mother (their sister) for a POA so I could represent her as an interested party and try to reestablish some normalcy in my aunts life. Since then I’ve been relentlessly attacked by my uncle, who claims I’m stirring things up, breaking up the family, destroying everyone’s life’s by involving the courts, etc
He said that if she is taken of his guardianship and into the state services it will be my fault. That everything will be my fault.
I don’t want to cause trouble to anyone. I just want to help my aunt, as she cannot do anything by herself.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Cqo2Nme607XKcmwVaimYHK0cKoGgT2L1
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9tb7tt
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{
"description": "skipping out on a theme park trip with friends to go hang out with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for skipping out on a theme park trip with friends to go hang out with my girlfriend?
|
Okay, context:
My friends for the past couple weeks have been planning to go to Universal tomorrow on Friday, it’s me and two others. I’ve been super hype to go but today my girlfriend had a horrible day at work and her whole week’s been awful in general. I haven’t been able to see her at all because college, and Friday is the only day both of us would have “free.”
Im torn because on one hand I made a promise to my buddies to go to Universal and it’d be fun, but on the other I want to go and comfort my girlfriend on the one day she’s off. I care about her and want to make her happy, but I feel awful for potentially throwing away two weeks’ worth of planning. Would I be an asshole if I told my friends I couldn’t make the trip?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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a74h34
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{
"description": "refusing to go home for Christmas... or at all",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA (AWA Are we assholes?) for refusing to go home for Christmas... or at all?
|
**NSFW tag because of trauma? I've seen other subreddits require this for stuff that might trigger other people who've gone through domestic abuse/ sexual abuse/ etc.) I can remove it if unnecessary.**
​
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few years. Over time she has slowly revealed how abusive and toxic her dad is. She's had to see therapists in dealing with the trauma he has caused. This Christmas, she finally outright refused to go home and finally said how she actually felt about him as a father and human being (all of it being negative). Now her mother is trying to convince her to go home again and to "give him another chance." Now I obviously can't just list all this man's wrongdoings, which would obviously be biased, but I have one incident and a few factors that stands out to me.
​
When she was in highschool she started "dating" a black guy. She's a pretty innocent girl and has never been a drug abuser, diving into sexual relationships too young, and get's good grades. Her dad's response is to call her names, threaten to kill the black guy's family, and **load and unload a gun** while threatening her. She says she can't remember if it was pointed at her because she was so scared of dying. Remember, she's a teenager at this point. The next day he claims to "forget" he did that and laughs it off. He frequently sends out creepy/threatening texts and claims to "forget" he sent them
​
He claims to forget because hes on pain medication, which I'm sure is just an opioid addiction. He "hurt his back" and hasn't worked in decades, hasn't left the house in two years, and generally cycles between watching tv, attempting to sleep, chewing tobacco, and eating microwaveable food.
​
So two days ago, my girlfriend gets a phone call from her dad. It starts off well, him being normal for once. Just him asking if she's going to back for Christmas. She initially says yes because it's so unusual for him to be "nice" (as in normal to ask your daughter politely to come home for Christmas). This conversation somehow turns into a 45 minute rant including things such as "I was so sad when your brother and you left for college that I went around punching holes in the wall." "If you go to Japan again, he (as in OP) will just sell you." "I didn't watch your graduation ceremony online because I think people are spying on me through the streaming website." (This is for the UC Davis online stream of the graduation ceremoney, he couldn't go because he has "anxiety" and hasn't left home in over 2 years.) Also, class emotional abuse lines such as "If you're coming home for less than 7 days, then don't bother coming at all."
​
As always, now her mom is calling trying to convince her to go home and saying "he still expects you to come home."
​
​
To me, this guy clearly has the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. I don't care what kind of bullshit "family first" excuse he says. He used a loaded gun to threaten his teenage daughter. Why should anyone like that ever be trusted? I don't know what kind crazy he'll pull this year? Murder suicide is pretty damn on my list of **very possible things he'd do**. Are we the assholes/ is she the asshole for refusing to go home to a psychopath?
​
By the way, we are both in our mid-twenties and live together. I feel like that may be relevant to some people? I don't want people to think we're teenagers running away from home for Christmas or anything. Honestly, this guy should be on some watch list because he's another pop-up add away from shooting up a mall or something, but the only people that know how crazy he is either won't say anything or don't have physical proof.
​
​
​
​
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aihrsn
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{
"description": "not helping my sister use the printer at 2am with sleeping family and getting mad at her",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not helping my sister use the printer at 2am with sleeping family and getting mad at her?
|
I'm 20yo with my sister (18yo) and my mother and stepdad in the house. It's 2am and I'm watching a movie from my bed.
It's both exams for me and my sister, which means studying entire days. I got lucky by having a free day to watch a movie.
All of a sudden my sister walks into my room and asks if I could help her with the printer which wasn't working. I tell her no and that she shouldn't use the printer since it would wake up our parents. She proceeded to go to the printer room, with angry feet.
Our house doesn't have good sound isolation, so you can basically hear all doors and footsteps at night. This in combination with the sleep problems of our mom gives some troubled nights for her.
I follow her and angrily whisper that she should be quiet. She answers in a loud voice that I should just help her to print, being 7 meters away from our parents room. I whispered that she should shut up and started cussing at her (in whispering voice) that she was extremely disrespectful towards our parents. Then she started shouting, which made me gave her the bird and go back to my room to ignore her, so she would shut up.
Finally she left me with some messages saying 'With that aggression you'll never get a girlfriend' and 'Why do you always act like a dick to me'. As you might've guessed, similar situations have happened before.
I get that she needs to study and that I should've been less angry, but I think it's her fault for not printing at a normal time and that she could wait.
I think she's an asshole, but was I an asshole as well?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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DUmrX3LkaClDeuCkSIz6JUlcymJ48Qxc
|
a1chxo
|
{
"description": "not giving into my older roommate's demands about my gf",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving into my older roommate's demands about my gf?
|
For context, I'm a 23 year old living in a subletted room of an apartment of a 43 year old professor. No contract, I just give her money each month. When i moved in, I told her that my girlfriend stays overnight twice a week. She said no problem to this. My girlfriend and I are both very quiet and friendly, and we mostly keep to ourselves by watching TV in my room. She's been spending more time during the day on Saturdays (like she'll be in my room Saturday afternoon - Sunday afternoon), but she's actually only stayed overnight once a week since I've lived here. We try to invite my roommate to go places whenever we go out, but she always says no. When I first met my roommate my girlfriend did nOT spend this much time at my old apartment, but since I've moved closer to her we now can spend more time together. So my life has just slightly changed since moving to this apartment, I promise I didn't intentionally omit how much she spends in the apartment. Total, she's probably IN MY ROOM with the door closed for 20 hours a week including sleeping.
My roommate also didn't tell me that there's a chore list of about 50 things that needs to get done every week. No problem, I'm happy to do it if it'll make her happy and make the apartment look nice. I've also driven dinner over to her office when she's been stressed about work. i've tried to be nice.
We're both super busy so my girlfriend comes over once during the weekday from 8:30 - 10:30, and then she comes over to my room on Saturday afternoon around 2, we'll go get some food for a few hours because it stresses my roommate that my girlfriend is in my room. Then we'll come back and watch TV for the rest of the night in my room. GF's then there until Sunday around 3 PM. For context, we're now in my room the ENTIRE time with the door closed and the TV on low, but we used to occasionally do homework in the living room or eat in the kitchen. At first, she didn't like us eating in the kitchen or being in the living room (common spaces) when she got home which I totally understood, so she asked us to eat in my room and not cook in the kitchen so no big deal, we now order out and eat in my room. Also, my girlfriend has never showered here, she showers before at her home so she doesn't have to use our water/shower while she's here.
Roommate has confessed that she often can't tell if we're in my room or not unless my gf's car is out on the street because we're quiet. Fast forward, my roommate's work has gotten really stressful and she now tells me that it bothers her that my girlfriend is in my room on Saturday because she "can't focus with more than one person in the apartment" and she asked that my girlfriend leaves by 12 PM. She also asked that I tell her my schedule of when she is and isn't in the apartment. I now give her 24 hours notice and try to tell her our schedule. I'm a little annoyed at this point because I'm trying to be accommodating, but whatever. We normally leave at like 2 PM now to go to the library on Sundays because i'm not gonna have a curfew imposed on me at 23, but i'm doing my best.
Now the kicker. What really hurt was that one of my students (I teach 2nd grade in a bad neighborhood) was shot and killed instantly on a Friday. I text my roommate that my gf and I will be in my room all day Saturday because I'm mourning and crying and grieving because you know, my kid was a victim of gun violence. She says she's sorry and blah blah blah, she's nice. THEN Sunday at around 2 PM, I manage to leave the apartment and an hour later (3 PM) while we're out, I get this text message.
"if possible I’d prefer that you and gf not spend more time here together today. I’m not feeling well and it stresses me out when you guys are here on the weekends, especially since lately it seems to be the whole weekend and not just overnight. I understand you wanted more time yesterday but you did not ask for today and I’ve already asked before that you and Koryne not stay past noon on Sundays. This is my home and I need to have a space in which I feel comfortable."
When I saw that text, i just broke down crying. It definitely not the whole weekend? I was heartbroken that someone could be so unforgiving when she knew I was upset about my kid dying.
it's not just her home, I also pay rent here. I don't know. AMTA? I'm tearing up while re-reading that text. I'm moving out at the end of December which I'm very thankful for, I'm just nervous for these next few weeks. My job is really hard sometimes ( re: my student died) and my girlfriend is my rock through it all. I can't do this without her. Also I keep saying in my room because whether or not my girlfriend is there, I'm in my room with the door closed. So it doesn't really affect the roommate in anyway.
TL;DR Roomate was ok with gf staying over twice a week, she's actually not. She gave me a list of 50 things to clean every week and I do them. She didn't like us in common spaces so we don't hang out there anymore. She told me to give her my schedule so she know's when we'll be in the apartment and I've done that. I've tried to be accommodating to my roommate about my girlfriend, and roommate was ok with my girlfriend until her work got stressful. She sent a really cold heartless text to me about my girlfriend being in my room 2 days after one of my 7-year-old students was shot. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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"description": "wanting to be physically intimate with my gf",
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|
AITA for Wanting to be physically intimate with my gf?
|
My gf and I have been together for 3 years, and I have continually wanted to have sex work her whenever I can. Not in gross way, but like, hey we have the house alone today (we're both college students living with our parents), hopefully we can have sex. I see her three to four times a week, however we only have sex about three to four times a month. We don't even do things over the internet sexually anymore like sext or anything. We used to once upon a time but now she just prefers to look at porn when she's not physically with me and when we're together it just feels like pity sex. What really irked me was me asking her to masturbate with her a few nights ago, and her saying no because I hadn't slept very well for a few nights and it was very late (which was true), and her saying she would wait until tomorrow to masturbate with me, and the very next morning I find out she masturbated without me. I wasn't going out of my way to snoop on her, but she decided to take my phone to play Christmas music on the speaker and I have Spotify premium so it was easier so she said to use my phone. I went on chrome on her phone for Reddit, and the most recent tab was a porn tab, so my mind wandered and I checked her browser history and she spent a few hours on porn the night before.
I don't have any issues with her looking at porn. I personally don't look at porn, I know it's weird, but I rather just wait for my significant other and be as intimate as I can with them as often as I can. But sure, people like porn because things are appealing to them. Okay. But I just think it's unfair to say "hey, I won't masturbate, you go to sleep" then they go and masturbate anyways? If that were the case, just tell me and I can masturbate to pictures of you all alone :(
Idk I just think it's strange how often we see each other and considering how long we've been together that our sex life is just so non-existent now. Like sure we'll touch each other when we're physically together then have a few minutes of sex. (not because I came too quickly but because she just wants to stop) I do warm her up. I do go down on her. I do ask her to try new things on bed. I even ask her if she wants me to act out any specific porn or whatever. It's just saddening that I continually ask to masturbate together and for one reason or another, she finds a reason not to. I have spoken to her about it but idk if I'm being too clingy as a bf to her and asking for too much sex. I know she has a sex drive because she admits to looking at porn almost every day for like an hour?! Sorry for the rant I just don't know whether I'm the jerk for wanting more sex time and mutual masturbation time or if she's the jerk.
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HISTORICAL
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aisszh
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{
"description": "killing Asgore",
"pronormative_score": 0,
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|
WIBTA For Killing Asgore???
|
Time sensitive question. I accidentally killed Asgore in Undertale but hes not fully dead, just on one knee on my screen. I only wanted to weaken him but accidentally killed him. Would I be an asshole for letting him die or should I close Undertale and restart the battle??
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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awq9p0
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{
"description": "being pissed at my Fiancée going out to a party getting really drunk while I look after her Daughter and my kids during a family weekend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA. For being pissed at my Fiancée going out to a party getting really drunk while I look after her Daughter and my kids during a family weekend?
|
So my SO (39f) and I (38m) live together and have been with each other for 20 months or so. We got engaged 5 months ago.
I have two kids from a previous relationship she has a daughter with serious medical needs. I’ve learned how to care for her.
I have my children ever other weekend and those children are the world to me, weekends when I have them are soooo important. My SO’s daughter lives with us and goes to her dads when I don’t have the kids. So we get a weekend together having fun without the kids and a weekend family time where the kids are together.
Ok so this weekend hasn’t been too good so far. My SO suffers from heavy PMT, she’s been down, withdrawn and irritable. During these times she also is unloving showing no affection towards me. I’ve tried my best to help her, take the kids, give her space etc. Tonight she’s invited to a party of some friends who she hasn’t seen in a while, I encourage her to go to it to cheer herself up. She said maybe she’ll go for a few hours. She left at 5.30 pm. She gave a cold good bye and left.
I’ve just woken up, she’s not here, Its now 3.45am and I’ve text her to check to see if she’s ok. She’s text back and said she’s sorry, she’s had a load of whisky and is dancing in the kitchen atm!!!!! Wtf
She gets the worst hangovers. So, that means tomorrow she isn’t going to be any good until my kids are going back to there mums. I won’t be able to leave the flat with 3 of them.
Before going out she did offer to take her daughter to her mums tonight. But I said no as it didn’t seem right not all being together as a family.
So because of the PMS and this night out, my whole weekend with my kids, time for us as a family has been ruined, we’ve done nothing together. I feel like a single dad sometimes. ☹️
(She’s still out BTW)
AITA?? I know I’ve put this from my prospective so please ask questions.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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|
avmvom
|
{
"description": "calling the police",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling the police?
|
Turns out, it's not just tennis. I was 15 then; I am 12 in this incident. As in, I'm still 5cm (2 inches) shorter and \~30 kilograms (70 pounds) lighter than my dad.
​
My family was out vacationing and after eating dinner, mom didn't feel so well, so she started complaining, and when mom is upset she likes to play cold (and she can be really infuriating with it). She demands a cup of hot water at some place, but dad rushes us "home" (to the apartment we were staying at). On the subway, she stands in the adjacent car and won't talk to any of us. When we get home, mom and dad argue, and it escalates into a fight, with dad punching her. I saw him grab a knife, but I was still shocked, and 12-year-old me didn't have any balls to fight an angry, 80-kilogram (170-pound) dad. Now, I knew dad wouldn't use the knife, since even when he's really mad he usually threatens with excess force that he'll never use, but I've never seen him pull a knife before. I think \*Oh, this is serious, even though no one's getting stabbed it still shows that he's the angriest I've ever seen him\* (to this day it still is), snatch mom's phone, and call the police. Mom tries to run outside but dad pulls her back in. Police come, no one presses charges, but dad is super mad at me. Now it's nighttime, and I usually sleep in the same bed as dad, but this night I'm scared and sleep with mom and a very upset younger sister. She locks the door for good measure, but at 2 in the morning dad picks the lock with a knife, drags me out of bed, and lashes out at me for calling the police. He tells me never to do it again, and that "we're family and we should keep it in," that the police will only do worse, and that he can lose his job over this. I think of all the counterarguments, but arguing with this guy is like trying to douse a fire with alcohol, so I don't. (Quick r/legaladvice: if no one presses charges but the police have to take him away because someone's hurt, can his employer see his record? This thing would be a misdemeanor—no one was seriously hurt; mom only got a small bruise.)
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aqveDhzlv9zdCijsBa9gI66pqcX9WZps
|
am0v9s
|
{
"description": "telling my short brother that being short is an unattractive trait",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 28
}
|
AITA for telling my short brother that being short is an unattractive trait?
|
So i was watching tv with my brother and a comercial with a short women come up , to which my brother commented that she's short and ugly , which i found really hypocritical since my brother is like 5'2 feet tall , anyway i called him out of it by saying that he's short too and he shouldn't make fun of other short people to which he replied that being short isn't unnatractive in itself , it's just that most short people are disproportionate , disproportionality being the actual unnatractive trait , i was like uhh, no being short is unattractive for bilogical reasons since a bigger male makes a better hunter , and that almost all girls prefer taller men , at this point he keept going on about how disproportionality is the actual bad trait so i told him that he's being delusional and is just lying to himself , after that the conversation ended .
Now i can't help but feel bad since i don't want my brother to feel insecure about his height , so am i the asshole ?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
3iFOkLLMSYiUfiiUhzwQ8XkZpdqyQM65
|
9zdzfq
|
{
"description": "purposely deleting the rest of my groups work just to make them fail as revenge",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for purposely deleting the rest of my groups work just to make them fail as revenge?
|
So I'm doing a maters degree and we have a group report to do. There is 5 of us.
We and person 2 (we shall call him) have done the majority of it because the other 3 are literal morons.
We've spent so many of our free days and gave them the easiest part.
I let our course leader know who informed me that if they don't contribute anything, they will fail.
2 weeks ago they did some work and it was awful, copied from a book so me and person 2 told them to start again.
This week they have done it again and the work is better but still pretty rubbish.
They've hardly spent any time coming in to meet with us and keep making excuses. Which pisses me off because we spent so much time doing most of the report.
So when it comes to submission we plan on just removing their names and doing the part ourselves so they fail because I'm angry that I've spent so much time and they haven't. Does this make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
D9X3wHJnczjc4vIYzABmAWuKdNv74Fit
|
9z6qdv
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my gf because of her insomnia",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my gf because of her insomnia?
|
I’ve always felt like my reason was validated but recently I’ve been feeling different about the whole situation.
Over a year ago I was dating this girl for about 10 months.
We were extremely close, knew everything about each other, had all the same friends, we talked all the time and if we weren’t on the phone then it would be over text.
She was/still is a very nice and pretty girl, but she had insomnia, and she was pretty selfish about it. We would text during the night, and because of our schedules, we both had to wake up at 8am, I liked to go to sleep anywhere from 11pm-1am, however she stayed up til 3-5am every night because of her insomnia. She NEVER let me go to sleep easily. If I texted her before 2am saying that I wanted to go to sleep, she’s would get angry and we would have an argument because she didn’t want to be alone while she couldn’t sleep. She tried to get me to stay up very late with her every single night, and because I was so in love with her I did a lot of the time, and if I didn’t, I would wake her to 5-20 texts from her all about how I must hate her and we might as well break up.
I’ve texted her many many times (during the day) that if she can’t let me get decent sleep then I’m going to have to break how with her because... I like sleep, so she had plenty of warning
One night in particular she somehow convinced me to stay up til 4am
We both had class the next day, and I literally just had surgery about a week ago
I’m falling asleep in class only to be woken by the pain in my side I would feel from the surgery if I didn’t sit a certain way, it was so horrible and felt like torture
We both had study hall the next hour and she sat a few seats away from me for whatever reason (she wasn’t mad at me or anything but I just don’t remember) and just looking at her being perfectly fine compared to what I was going through made me so upset so I texted her right then that I couldn’t take it anymore and I was breaking up with her.
I know I should waited for us to be out of class and had this conversation with her in person but I was so mad and tired and in pain I couldn’t think straight and I didn’t care.
I watched her pull out her phone and instantly have a face of shock and sadness, she pulled her hoodie up and put her face in her hands and she cried for the entire rest of the study hall session.
Although I felt bad, I felt validated in my actions for months but recently I’ve been feeling that maybe I was too harsh, should’ve given her another chance or warning or something. Idk, what do you guys think? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
2JRCC6tCyDVy2L0wpQy01ctzgSUSghHl
|
as9kee
|
{
"description": "expecting people to move off the path when I'm running",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for expecting people to move off the path when I'm running.
|
I am a runner, currently marathon training, taking it seriously.
My regular route is along the coast (south England).
It is a narrow tarmac path surrounded either by grass or beach shale.
To begin with I will acknowledge other pedestrians have equal rights to the path.
Given I'm running at 6mph it is much harder for me to step off the path, higher momentum.
I am wearing road shoes, which are not as suited to mud (it rains a lot in the uk) as the pedestrians walking boots.
I am much more likely to trip or fall on shale or mud going at speed.
Old and disabled people get a free pass obviously, and if you're walking away from me I understand. But if you are walking 2 abreast coming towards me, get in single file or step off the path. Don't just glare me down.
Ps dogs on leads need to be on the same side of the path as owners, or else you are a walking trip wire.
Update:
It seems I have received a fair bit of internet hate and taken a karma hit. Let me share what I have learnt.
I take the point about "whoever is the cause of danger should take responsibility for this risk" and as such I will be dodging when necessary.
I think the ahole judgement is a little misdirected: too much focus on my perceived entitlement to the WHOLE path. Let me clarify I am primarily focussed on groups who walk two abreast and don't drop to single file.
Also to pick up on some of the hate: a lot of people have commented that I should go somewhere else / the path is meant for pedestrians / people just want to enjoy themselves. To them I respond: I live in the coast my options are either drive somewhere, run through the city or run along the coast, this is my home; I am a pedestrian, I appreciate that bikes and skateboards can be dangerous, I am not a bike ; I am people I also just want to enjoy myself.
I get the feeling that a few people have brought their own experiences to the table when deciding, it sounds like there is a lot of frustration in both directions. So let me remind everyone, in the words of Plato: be kind , for everyone is fighting their own battle .
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
wcFXPBourkmRzakTssCGJyfqscyNJDOG
|
b3zunk
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend that we need to have deeper conversation",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend that we need to have deeper conversation.
|
We've been dating for 4 months now, and it seems like we barely know each other. I try to have meaningful conversations, but all she does is respond with, "gang gang," or the same stupid reactionary image. She almost never contributes anything meaningful to our conversations, and i am always the one to start them. So i brought this up a few days ok, and all she had to was,"you need to chill, gang gang." So am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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aihcwt
| null |
WIBTA Am I too blunt?
|
A couple days ago I went to my grandpa's funeral and while I was there I realized that I an blunt with my feelings, I don't really cry when I get the kind of sad death in the family will bring. I just say ok to the stuff that usually people cry of. I'm worry that I seem (or am) being disrespectful for when someone is telling me something that is sad becauseI I just say in response is "Oh, ok". I do feel sad but I just can't express that feeling. I don't know I'm having trouble explaining this in words. Sorry for the bad grammar and thanks for reading.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
IjZXqBJbNVa43XifcO7lfeQvNaYvrCin
|
apy06y
|
{
"description": "asking someone if they've found new streamers",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking someone if they've found new streamers?
|
Hey everyone!
I'm mostly confused about this and wanted to maybe get some other perspectives on this.
I've been watching a relatively small streamer for a few months now and the chat feels like a small family, everyone knows each other and talks among them and with the streamer. Now a woman who always used to be there and talked very friendly with everyone hasn't been there for a few weeks now and I kind of missed her, so I added her as a friend on Twitch which she accepted. Then the dialogue went as follows, I'm copying my messages and transcribing hers as I assume she wouldn't want me to copy them:
Me: Hey! Haven't seen you around in a while, all good with you?
Her: Hey! I'm perfect, how about you?
Me: That's good to hear! I'm getting done with college right now, only one more exam to go! Did you find some new streamers? I was surprised to not see you in [streamer]'s chat anymore
Her: Says she'd like to curse at me, asks my how I'm of the opinion that this is an acceptable question, how it's way too personal as we've only talked a few times, asks me why I care and to back off, says I should find someone else to talk about.
Me: I'm terribly sorry if I offended you by this, I was just sad to not see you in chat anymore and yes a bit curious and wanted to make conversation. I guess I crossed a border I didn't see, so I'll just back off then.
She had already deleted me from her friends list by then. If she felt like that was too personal, why did she add me in the first place? To be honest I was trying to take the high road here because my first thought was "wth is your problem?". I assume it might have something to do with her having an unpleasant exchange with [streamer] at some point, because he had mentioned something like that, so maybe I just struck a nerve.
However, AITA? I just don't see how any of this was inappropriate.
|
HISTORICAL
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2ypRL9irUtT9tAPMVLNQVu3XglO4h2lw
|
9vpmu2
|
{
"description": "destroying a photo of myself in my grandma's house",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for destroying a photo of myself in my grandma's house.
|
I once sent a photo of myself to my dad on the first day of moving abroad, sort of as a "look, got here safe!". It being the first day, I'm really jetlagged and look like shit, with that nasty grey tone to your skin when youve not had enough sleep. Add to that my hair is greasy, I'm not wearing a bra, and it's a really unflattering angle on my nose. Despite all this he printed it and framed it for my grandma. I really hate this picture and wish I'd never taken it. I never would have sent it if I'd realised it WOULDN'T be just some throwaway.
When I moved back home and saw it framed and up I was so pissed off and upset. I begged them both to get rid of it and offered to find another picture for the frame if she really wanted it. It's the only picture of me over the age of 10 and it's not because other pictures don't exist. I really liked my graduation photos and they are nowhere to be seen in her house or anyone else's in my family. I occasionally send my dad pictures of me and schoolfriends, or me and my partner at events and noone seems interested. Just this horrible ugly picture of me that makes me feel sick.it's been there for about 5 years and I shudder whenever I see it. Everyone told me not to be silly. But if it was so trivial, why couldnt it just go?
I left intensive eating disorder treatment earlier this year and decided I would try and eliminate things that made me feel shit from my life as far as possible. Two weeks ago I discreetly removed the picture from its frame and left a note "IOU A NICER PICTURE OF METO REPLACE THIS". I destroyed the photo. She just discovered this two nights ago and is, together with my dad, really angry and saying I've crossed a line.
AITA? I found it borderline oppressive and noone even listened to my concerns, let alone took them seriously.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
3nzd2FgXNObTdqX43dcwboQkxg95aNiw
|
as3pr0
|
{
"description": "being honest about my experiences with a racist teacher",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being honest about my experiences with a racist teacher?
|
I'm a high school student, and the only black student in my graduating class. Until recently, there was a teacher (white) at my school who was remarkably well liked: but awful to me. He called me argumentative and accused me of trying to start fights. I'm a straight A student, but I would get consistently low grades on high effort, high quality work, and whenever my parents or other teachers or administrators tried to talk to him about it, he called me an "underperforming student". It damaged my self image, and made my white peers think they could treat me that way too. I always got told I was playing the black card, or that I was an angry black girl. Recently he assigned an essay. I doubled the expected word count, exceeded all of his requirements, and turned in a thoroughly edited essay. He added and removed 30 commas and docked me 18 points with no comments on the actual content. My boyfriend is dysgraphic, and he often gets someone to scribe his essay. He's also white. I scribed this essay.; so it had all the same comma and grammatical errors I make. It was half as long and missing requirements. He got a 90. It was then that I realized that he docked my grades so he could excuse his racism by calling me and underperforming student. I got used that evidence and got my grade up to a 90. Then, for unrelated (truly) reasons, he resigned. Everyone, all the time, talks about how great he was.. how much they miss him, and I've made the decision to remind people how he treated me. Needless to say, I haven't been getting the greatest responses. He treated his white students great, and I can admit that. People have been talking about me behind my back, calling me a liar, lying about the things they saw, etc. It's also come up that it wasn't just me: he pressured a student to play soccer on the basis of being latina, and told a group of female athletes to "lose weight before the season". Anyway. Am I problematic for being honest about my opinion about him?
Tl;dr: I was discriminated against pretty egregiously by a teacher, and my white peers don't care and are upset at me for being honest about it. Am I problematic for even bothering?
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AITA if I want my husband to clean the house?
|
My husband and I are newlyweds and just bought our first house. When we lived in an apartment, it was pretty constantly messy, because I work about 70 hours a week and I ended up doing the majority of the cleaning (such as cleaning bathrooms, sweeping, vacuuming, etc.). However, I have also been working hard to improve my neatness, because I often would leave dishes out and such. My husband claims that because I would leave dishes out, it made him not care about the cleanliness of the rest of the apartment, which is why he never helped with cleaning tasks otherwise. This has caused multiple fights between us, as I view weekly tasks as separate from the daily tasks of picking up dishes. In other words, even if I miss a dish or two, the weekly stuff still needs to get done. He thinks that he’s under no obligation to do housework if I don’t pick up after myself and that I’m unreasonable (and rude) to suggest that he should. Am I the asshole here?
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{
"description": "refusing to contribute girlfriends mom half of rent",
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AITA for refusing to contribute girlfriends mom half of rent?
|
We (sadly) live with my girlfriends mom because her health isn't great. She needed extra help. But without telling me, her mom stopped contributing to rent. Rent is $1000. Utilities is 400$ roughly depending on season. I pay all the utilities. I used to pay for her mom's cell phone too when she was contributing but I cut her off (AITA for that??). All said and done I was paying over $600/mo for cell phone, electric, and internet. It was fine but now her mom is no longer contributing towards rent and only pays for "food" but she mostly shops for herself and no one else.. so that isn't even a fair contribution.
Basically, my girlfriend is paying $1000 rent and I'm paying utilities. $150 for internet, $200 for electric, and $150 for cells. I cut her mom off my cell plan so my girlfriend pays for her moms phone while I pay for my girlfriends phone (lol).
Should I be offering more money? I have plenty of money saved. I sometimes feel bad but at the same time her mom is a full grown adult who is capable of helping out. If she weren't it'd be a different story. Two years ago she flipped out on me when I bought hamburger meat because I bought cheap stuff (I only had $10 on me, was broke). I used my last dollars to get hamburger meat so she could get food that I didn't even like. She flipped out and said I was an asshole for buying cheap meat.
I'm planning on moving far away this summer. I just feel bad my girlfriend is getting screwed but she isn't really saying anything. AITA?
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"description": "refusing to help a woman with two small kids from two marriages",
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AITA for refusing to help a woman with two small kids from two marriages?
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I am known to be a bit of an asshole, but this time I am not sure. Title is such for addition of context.
​
Short backstory. I just turned 30, this woman (or girl, we've known each other for almost 20 years) is a family friend through her parents, and the families have always been in good relationship. She got married for the first time in college and got a kid, divorced after two years, got another one some 18 months ago, got married instantly, divorced 6 months later. I wouldn't call her irresponsible, but she tends to sort her priorities quite weirdly (if a trip to the coast is more important than a physical exam, then...well...). I try to keep my distance and not get into any arguments, but on a regular basis I see all the problems. Both fathers hate each other, and their relationships with her and the kids are quite strained. She finds it hard to find and keep the job, and is generally very moody because of the whole situation. Her parents help her a lot actually, and kids have fairly healthy sorroundings.
The issue is - she needs a job. Her parents are willing to finance her kids as much as possible, but her...not as much. She is seeing another guy now, and although he seems much better than previous two guys, I trully doubt he is capable of surviving with her.
She, along with her parents, pleaded with me to ask my boss to hire her. I've been working there, I do my work well, and apart from boring middle-aged coworkers, I like it quite a bit. First reason I have no intention of doing that is because I don't want to risk my good reputation by bringing in someone who can make more potential mess than a helmet to Viggo Mortensen's boot contents.
Second reason - she needs to start sorting her life properly. I don't mind looking after her kids once in a while, but not if she wants to spend that time photoshooting with her friends for instagram or whatever. I don't mind them all coming to barbecue at my place, but I don't want her sitting on her ass texting while her kids are trying to hit each other in the head with firewood or whatever.
It is not about hating kids or single mothers, I primarily don't care. I have a single mom neighbour who I've always been friendly with and we still exchange garden produce. I hate the "oh let me live a little" behaviour after making crucial life decisions.
​
​
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"description": "telling my wife I won't try to have kids until she starts trying to take care of herself",
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AITA for telling my wife I won't try to have kids until she starts trying to take care of herself?
|
My wife has developed anxiety in the last few years. She has gone to therapy (which helped), but gave up because she didn't like the results. She has asked me for help before but dismisses *literally every single* thing I research and offer as an idea. I have bought books recommended various types of meditation, CBT, the works. She doesn't even try.
This has really got me thinking. I understand that anxiety isn't something that gets better in a day, but she expects a magic pill. I don't want to raise kids that learns anxious tendencies, or that you should just give up on yourself. I want to tell her that I want to see her work on her anxiety for two years consistently every day before we start trying to have kids.
How I would actually go about this? I have no idea.
Knowing what anxiety is I feel pretty bad about the idea.
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{
"description": "not wanting my moms bf over all the time and \"getting in the way\" of their relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for not wanting my moms bf over all the time and "getting in the way" of their relationship?
|
Some context before I start, my mother has been divorced from my father for over 4 years and I heavily encouraged her to get a boyfriend but since I am introverted I did ask her beforehand not to have him over in the house all the time. Her current boyfriend is here 7 days a week for over 5 hours a day. It's almost like he lives here. I paid for the apartment and I pay half the rent, I asked her to at least not have him here 2 days out of the 7. She throws a fit but I eventually convince her after reminding her that before they started dating I didn't want him here all the time. Now her boyfriend doesn't want to come over at all and it's pretty much turned in to a "should you move out or should I move out?" situation. Which is what I think he wants, he still lives with his wife and kids though they haven't actually been in a relationship for a while. (she cheated on him) and she knows about my mom. But I still think its sketchy that he basically wants to hop from one family to another. He refuses to live alone, I don't know if it's because of expenses or he can't function as an adult by himself but after knowing my mother for only 6 months he is heavily pushing for them to move in together.
​
I don't talk to him at all but I know that he is respectful to my mother and me, and he was really helpful with us moving. But I don't appreciate that he is pushing so hard to move in with my mother because he doesn't want to be living with his soon to be wife, yet doesn't want to live alone. I don't like him being in my house 24/7 and I don't think I was being unreasonable for asking my mom for him not to be here at least 2 out of the 7 days a week. AITA for standing my ground and thinking his being to pushy? I don't want my mother to be unhappy and shes basing her happiness heavily on her relationship with him and right now I'm pretty much the biggest source of stress in their relationship because I don't want him moving in and don't want him around all the time. But I think the biggest problem here is that his to afraid to live alone and still hasn't divorced his cheating ex wife.
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"description": "sending a picture of a jewish person in a concentration camp to a group chat",
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AITA I sent a picture of a jewish person in a concentration camp to a group chat
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I'm going to try and keep this short and simple.
I shaved my head a couple months ago and a lot of my friends kept on telling me that i look like the boy in striped pyjamas and i'm jewish to try and annoy me.
This happened when my and some of my friends were in a group chat and one of my friends added a person that me and the person that got added didn't know each other so my friends tried to describe me to her. They kept on bringing up that i was jewish and looked like the boy in striped pyjamas so i sent a picture of a jewish person in a concentration camp(this was what they were describing me as) and asked if i looked like them. This apparently was too far and i'm a dickhead for sending a picture of that and that is too far and inappropriate and i shouldn't be making fun of that kind of stuff (i wasn't making fun of them). I didn't know what i did wrong so i just didn't say anything after that so things didn't get worse between us.
Was i an asshole for sending a picture of a jew in a concentration camp or were my friends just a bunch of butthurt snowflakes?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not walking my dogs when I am too fatigued, thus making my mom walk them when she gets home from work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA For not walking my dogs when I am too fatigued, thus making my mom walk them when she gets home from work?
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So for context, in the past I used to really dig my heels in the ground about walking the dogs simply due to outright laziness. When I was in high school, one the excuses was that I was too tired after school — and although true, wasn’t a good excuse since my mom is tired after work. Other times I outright refused.
In the present day, however, I am physically incapable of walking the dogs on some nights. I have been struggling with anorexia and although I have been trying to recover, I am still actively restricting. Due to the restricting I have done in the past and am doing currently, along with a large amount of weight I lost in a short amount of time, my physical health has taken a huge toll.
I am currently being monitored about a heart arrhythmia, and also having rapid heart rate all of the time. No matter if my eating is more in the day, I also cannot stand or walk for long (normal) amounts of times. Going from a sitting to standing position leaves me winded, out of breath.
I have explained this to my mom — who is a therapist by the way — and she has not been able to grasp that I am not refusing to walk the dogs due to how it was before. Also, before my physical health took a decline, I was walking the dogs every single day for over eight months. Before those eight months I was away and not living at home.
>>When my sister is at home (she’s away at school), she is not required to walk the dogs — so if I’m not well enough to walk the dogs it still falls on my mother — which doesn’t make sense but whatever.
I have had many conversations with my mother about my condition and have apologized to her. I have been intermittently walking the dogs when I’m able to as well. However, whenever I’m feeling too weak or too fatigued my mom will come home and start saying how she is so exhausted from work and how the dogs must be miserable having to wait for her when I’m there to walk them. When she get back from taking them out she will say “are you healthy enough to take off their leashes?”
She will always say she doesn’t understand and so I’ll talk with her again and we will go into a back and forth, and I’ll offer to send her information about the physical effects I am feeling.
I have also tried to get her to come meet with my dietitian but with no avail.
My siblings text me saying “why aren’t you helping mom with the dogs?” all of the time no matter how much I explain to them either.
I feel so guilty that I make my dogs suffer when they have to wait to go out and I hate fighting with my mom, but I also don’t want to pass out while walking my dogs.
Am I the asshole? Is this all my fault? I don’t know what to do 😞
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{
"description": "thinking other people other than my so are cute",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
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WIBTA if I think other people other than my SO are cute?
|
More context: I’m in a long distance relationship and we see each other about once a month. Love my SO dearly as SO is really caring.
I’m also in school right now and there’s some people I see around school that I think are really kind (which makes them more attractive to me). WIBTA for thinking these people are for lack of better words ‘cute’?
I get this weird guilty feeling for thinking of other people other than my SO being pretty.
Side note, I know myself and I’m 100% going to be faithful. (Would never cheat - would always break it off first) But anytime this type of thought pops into my mind, it just throws me off.
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"description": "not wanting to apologize",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
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AITA for not wanting to apologize?
|
This is nothing dramatic, but something that happens more than I‘d like.
I’m 17 and live with my mum and my stepdad (which will hopefully change very soon.) I like my mum except when she gets bitchy and I didn‘t really get well along with my stepdad at first. Now I tolerate him, but I definitely don‘t click with him.
We had a busy weekend and were all hanging out in the living room. I was watching video essays because I think they‘re interesting and I like when somebody talks, as my parents are usually very quiet. Because they prefer silence, they also were kinda annoyed by the videos and insulted them. Not very nice, but I didn‘t care that much.
My stepdad drank a beer and the smell suddenly reminded me of when I got harassed a few days ago by a drunk old man. Without thinking I blurted out: „You stink like that old man I told you about.“ He immediately left the room and locked himself in the bedroom with the beer.
My mum got even more bitchy than before and told me I should go and apologize and also be nicer to him since he drives me around a lot (he really does which is very nice of him, but I‘m not good at being overly friendly to people I don‘t like).
I tried to explain to her that I didn‘t mean to insult him and that the smell just reminded me of this specific thing. Now she‘s in the bedroom too.
I don‘t want to apologize. I realize how that sounded horrible, but I genuinely don‘t feel sorry for it and an apology would feel forced and dishonest. I don‘t feel sorry because I don‘t care about my stepdad‘s feelings (which kinda makes me an asshole, but I can‘t control who I feel sympathy for). Besides, my stepdad makes mean comments about spitting in my food and me being stupid and useless all the time and stuff like dad isn‘t that big of a deal. I honestly think they‘re both overreacting because they were already annoyed by the video essays.
TLDR;I‘m an annoying teenager, accidentally insulted my stepdad, parents want me to apologize, I don‘t feel like I have to.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "thinking my friends high school plan is dumb",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking my friends high school plan is dumb?
|
I'm 16 nearing the end of sophomore year along with my best friend throught the year the friend has missed a lot of school at least 3 to 5 whole school weeks the reason being games and an awful sleep schedule. He has terrible grades in third quarter with all d's and f's and a single a.
He will most likely not get accepted into a single college at this rate. His plan however is that he will go into Iowa National Guard and that will be some miracle that turns his life around. My friend is not overly athletic he doesn't do sports and at most lifts maybe some weights not the sets but just the small dumbbell and fights occasionally. His sleep schedule is God awful recently he didn't wake up until 5 pm.
This fear is exasperated by the fact that I saw a friend of mine who is in national Guard working at a gas station saying that the Ng is more like a part time job. When I went to tell my friend why I didn't think it was a good idea I was told off by him and another friend who is a junior and in alternative school that wants to go into national Guard that I'm being egotistical and that it will work out. I don't believe that either of them but especially my best friend will even be able to qualify for it. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "asking my roommates to deal with my trash",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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|
WIBTA for asking my roommates to deal with my trash?
|
First time poster, long time lurker, sorry I'm on mobile. I'm trying not to word vomit or ramble so let me know if I need to trim anything or add INFO. TLDR at the bottom
I've been incredibly ill since Wednesday, 5 days ago. Bedridden, could not drink or eat anything.
Friday morning, after some food and meds, I thought I was feeling well enough to attend an event for my Aunt's birthday that I had already agreed to prior and had purchased tickets for.
I ended up passing out right in the doorway of the venue and immediately had to be taken home. Everything was pretty much closed at that hour and going to the ER seemed a bit much as I hadn't hit my head, so I decided to just go home with my mom and go to immediate care the next morning.
My heart rate was elevated for someone of my age and size (150 bpm for a 123 lb 5 foot one 21 y/o). They ran a bunch of tests, including an EKG, and were prepared to send me to the ER for an IV if my vitals didn't mellow out while I was there/if I couldn't keep down the water they wanted me to drink.
Luckily they cleared me to leave after a couple hours and some prescriptions, but they did warn me against driving in my state as losing consciousness again was still a concern.
I've been incredibly weak and sick so I've been staying at my family home, which was a closer drive from the center and I didn't want to be on the road too long. I've been here since Friday so far with marginal improvement, so I know I'm staying at least one more night.
So back at my place, I live in a house with 3 roommates I get along well with. 2 of them I've known for a long time. We're all on different schedules so we don't "hang out" all that much but I like to think we all maintain a good relationship.
At that house, trash is collected every Tuesday morning, so the morning after next. I know for a fact that I have 2 bags of trash in my room and there's one full bag of trash in the shared bathroom. Would I be an asshole if I asked them to take the trash out for me if I still can't make it home by tomorrow night? I know it's not their mess (my 2 bags at least) and it would definitely be a favor that is appreciated instead of something I expected from them.
I don't want to seem like a demanding dick but I also would really like to not come back home to a room that smells like rotting garbage, since I dont know yet when I'll be back.
I've done favors for each of them before but, like I said, we don't particularly interact all that often for extended periods of time so we aren't the closest of groups.
TLDR; I've been super sick and haven't been home in a few days, probably won't be home for a few more. WIBTA for asking my roommates to take my garbage out on trash day if I'm not back yet?
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"description": "automatically assuming a \"doctor\" is an asshole",
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"contranormative_score": 5
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|
AITA for automatically assuming a "Doctor" is an asshole?
|
This post is mostly a generalization that I do, not exactly a specific situation but this post was sparked by an actual asshole "doctor". It was just a basic customer service provider abuse story: crazy person yelling at everyone who was trying their best to help.
Anyway, I always thought that referring to yourself as "doctor" was something you inform people in an appropriate setting, ex. hospital, college meeting, job interviews, etc.
However, as someone who works at a call center for a hotel, I noticed that I immediately lose all respect for people who call and say "yes I am Dr. Whatever, I need stuff" because they are ALWAYS entitled assholes, some put up a "nice person" charade a few minutes longer than others, but this appears to be the general consensus.
So, am I wrong to be against the thought that just because you spent more time and money on a title, I am automatically supposed to respect you? Is it bad that I truly don't give a fuck if you are a "doctor" or a hobo, as you won't be treated any differently unless we are in the "correct" setting?
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"description": "wanting a coworker to take personal leave until they can concentrate on work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting a coworker to take personal leave until they can concentrate on work?
|
About six months ago I began noticing that something wasn't quite right with a coworker (Miriam). She is in a different department but my team works with her on some projects. Issues ranged from emails written so oddly that intentions were unclear to ignoring/violating corporate compliance. Shortly after I noticed the trend, another coworker mentioned similar issues they had with Miriam.
Over the next few months, things got worse. Many times Miriam sent comments or direction either very vague or simply incorrect. In these instances, I would reply for clarifications: "Can I get a few more details?", "Are you sure about this?", "How does that jibe with this other thing that would contradict it?", "Is this a new process?", etc. Sometimes I'd get a response that made sense. Sometimes I just used my best judgment to move forward. Miriam didn't seem to notice either way.
My coworker has a good relationship with Miriam's supervisors (and I do not have a good relationship with those people) and had mentioned to them some of the smaller issues. The response was that Miriam is dealing with a family issue and to cut her some slack.
Many projects that generally run smoothly had problems this year. As 2018 winds down, there have been talks about why certain projects were bogged down. Until last week, I'd only had private conversations with a couple people about Miriam being at the center of it.
At an event last week, which Miriam was not attending, I spoke up something like "Miriam needs to take a break, handle whatever's distracting her from work, and come back when she can do her job well." This was not received very well by others. AITA for making clear that I want a competent coworker?
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WRONG
|
M7z45IQGKtff4vdZdylOCJFSXUUHEQm2
|
ba7brw
|
{
"description": "borrowing my brothers coat from time to time",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if i borrowed my brothers coat from time to time?
|
Today me and my brother (im adopted into the family) went to the VANS store to buy the new david bowie shoes, however we instead walked out with a coat and matching shoes both for my brother, we both love the coat and i asked him if i could buy of my own when i have the money and he said he wouldnt want to be matching which is fair enough. But he did say i can borrow it when needed because i dont have a coat at all. When we got home to show my adopted parents my adopted mother said she doesnt want to see me borrow the coat. WIBTA if i borrowed it despite my brother saying its ok?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
qdJbCvoYVyFQOaVH6YA8HJ06uYv2kH1z
|
akthjc
|
{
"description": "trying to express that it's extremely infuriating when grown adult men urinate on public toilet seats with a picture of someone urinating in the next stall",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for trying to express that it's extremely infuriating when grown adult men urinate on public toilet seats with a picture of someone urinating in the next stall
|
Background: I work 2 jobs and my employers do not have private bathrooms, so I rely on public bathrooms during my shifts. This means using public toilets daily. This also means that on more than one occasion per week I walk into a stall that has urine all over the seat and I either clean it so I can use it or go to the next stall if there's one available.
Now I posted a picture of someone urinating in the next stall with only part of some jeans and some shoes on r/extremelyinfuriating and all I have gotten is backlash for taking pictures in a bathroom and not respecting the person's privacy. I didn't take a picture of someone's face or body or any features that someone could make out who it was. I'm failing to see how I am getting a creep or taking away this person's privacy. People even say to suck it up and just get toilet paper and clean it, but that misses the point that grown men shouldn't urinate on something that others need to use.
I've tried to defend the point of the post there and most seem to focus on the 'bathroom pic' aspect of it and keep calling me an asshole. I thought I'd bring it here too see if I'm really an asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
bzwEDXsFdWTfbFfnb4yDx1Tks2WZOO8R
|
aeft0p
|
{
"description": "being hurt by my ex and what he said and telling him my true feelings",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being hurt by my ex and what he said and telling him my true feelings?
|
I tried being nice and helping him though some shit but honestly he treated me like shit so I was done. But he invited me over and just played video games all night and didn’t let me play and ignored my advances on him, he cried saying his ex didn’t tell him happy birthday yet totally ignored my message, he insulted my friend in front of all his friends, he would get blackout drunk a few times a month, he would regularly ignore my messages, I was the last one to be invited to his New Years party, he would point out how oily I was and how much dandruff I have (I have complained to him about these issues I had), he wouldn’t wanna cuddle, and he always complained that I never showed him my true feelings yet he literally didn’t show me emotions. I guess I freaked him out when I tried to get too close so I detached. I didn’t invite him to go to places with me, he didn’t meet my family, he didn’t meet my friends really, I never said I love you and I never intentionally left shit at his place. I tried really hard to not come on strong once he told me I went too fast too quick... i invited him on my vacation because I had planned it already and was going alone and I sent him nudes on the trip and he just said “your booty white” and ignored the message, and then later on I came home at like five am and he fucked me and went to sleep and didn’t even say thanks for my present, ever.
I said:
So I’m unsure of how you felt pressured.
I didn’t wanna Make you feel like shit so I hid my feels. My friends wouldn’t treat me this shitty ever.
Veronica would never invite me over and get blackout and then play games all night or only invite me to an event she planned after I asked her about it. or be rude about my other friend in front of people I hardly know. And Honestly no one in my life who I know would ignore my birthday wish (I wanted to be the first so I told you on the eve and you ignored that text so I gave you space because you wanted to not be that emotionally involved) then come to me drunk and upset about someone else not telling them happy birthday. Like honestly what the fuck? Who the fuck does that. And then to be like oh this girl who I used to date is one of those people, but she’s too cool now for me and living in LA....? (So you probably would drop everything to be with her if you had the chance to... that’s greaaaaaat.... that’s why you’ve been wanting me to take it slow... slow enough to not be alone till she’s available?) Like honestly I feel bad for you and wanted to do what I could to make you happy but try and treat people who try to show they care about you right and don’t be a dick to them. It’s fucking depressing... I always was optimistic but you didn’t seem to appreciate that at the time. I don’t even think you really appreciate it now. You say you do but your actions don’t.
He said: But one that I remember early on is you getting upset with me while you were in Hawaii for not really taking it that serious when you asked if I wanted to come join you (I literally asked if he wanted to go.... he said he couldn’t affford it and I said ok, i just thought it would be a fun thing but I understand... no pressure cause I know this is new, I’m just going alone so thought I’d ask). I made a joke about your tan line like the girl from the suntan bottle because I did not think I was insulting you but kinda being cute everyone has a tanline on their butt (I literally sent him a nude and he said “lol”) and you took great offense yo that and then when oh got back it was like super early and I did not think not freaking out you were back would be that big of a deal because we were going to hang out normal people times soon (he hardly talked to me, fucked me, went to sleep- I was gone for two weeks prior). I said I wanted you to tell me if I was doing things like that because I felt at that point I did not know what I was doing sometimes but maybe you were just more sensitive than I realized.
Then blackout drunk thing was bad (but more for me I just shouldnt be doing that stuff) but as you know people on drugs are not themselves and are very unaware of what they were doing then you played it cool at the time only to leave in the morning and the plan was to just necer talk to me or see me again ignore my calls (I answered his calls... ) and texts forcing me to go and try to get an explanation that could have been a little sign I cared ya know if you just ghosted me and I didn’t give a shit why would I go to your place I would have just been like cool now I don’t have to deal with it
I am not an alcoholic but I do have issues sometimes with taking my drinking too far and I guess my actions during those times are going to be put under a microscope the most instead of how I am sober. That is fine I was shitty to you those times I got drunk and I am sorry but as someone who said they have dealt with drug issues in the past maybe you could have talked to me about it and how the actual drinking was bothering you and how I acted during states of drunkenness were not okay and I would have listened not just ditch me and make me have to go to your place for you to finally tell me.
Sorry for being shitty I get the picture and I apologize. If you still just want to keep being mad and bring stuff up some more that is fine as well if it helps you out. And you can believe whatever you want to believe about me and my appreciation or feelings for you back then I know how I felt and that is fine again whatever helps you feel better. If you want to keep writing this stiff out I suggest doing it on a piece of paper or journal or something cuz me just responding and trying to make you not blame yourself is obviously riling you up and I am not responding anymore.
Sorry for everything you are a way better person than me so just take some comfort in the fact you don’t have to put up with my shit anymore. Feel better, goodbye
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
ZLk7tyaKkSN4GefdwSZw0Ub5E3c08ZyI
|
asfhzu
| null |
AITA? Guy thinks my dating habits are racist
|
I'll try to keep this short... I've been seeing a lot of new people since getting out of a long term relationship, and someone I know has taken issue with the people I'm seeing (and kind of made me feel like an asshole for it, hence the post).
Kind of touchy, because it's a race thing. I'm on various dating apps and have only been selecting for the members of the one I prefer. I happen to think this is totally fine, because that's my personal preference. But maybe I've been a bit too conspicuous about it. Recently I was propositioned for a date by a guy I go to school with - I've sort of suspected he had intentions in that direction, and now that I'm single he wanted to make a move. I politely declined. And then later I got the text that prompted this post: in which he rather pointedly called me out on my "racist" dating habits, under the assumption that I'd screened him only because he is not a member of said race (partially true). Basically he succeeded in making me feel like a piece of shit.
I asked my roommate and her boyfriend for a second opinion, and *sort* of sided with the guy in question, though they're also friends with him. So I'm here for a third. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
K4xbylCGRtnBewW7R7K41MRA10sfZPmo
|
a1qf57
|
{
"description": "asking the tutor to close his phone and lower his voice becuase of my ear being in pain",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking the tutor to close his phone and lower his voice becuase of my ear being in pain?
|
AITA Every Friday I have this same calculus teacher come and teach me and strengthen concepts of the lessons for the AP calculus exam. I have a final exam (not the official just for school marks) this Tuesday sooo there isn't really another time for practicing and stuff I am extremely tight on time and the tutor knows that. I wrap my head with a bandana today cuz I'm feeling nauseous and to me wrapping my head makes me feel less nauseous and more focused. I opened the door for him while wearing a Red bandana don't think it's a problem and when he notices it he laughs at it for a second. i tell him I'm sick and have a painful ear infection and a bad case of strep throat. I tell him I organized all my books and papers for the upcoming finals (You know just small talk before we start the lesson) I Also tell him that one ear is almost deaf and in pain especially when hearing loud noises. He says that he had it last week but it wasn't as bad as mine. So he explains to me the new chapter before we start solving and I ask him to repeat some points in the middle because I have a short attention span (I have ADHD which was diagnosed by psychologist). He's doesn't seem bothered or anything and repeats the terms normally. Now we start solving the test and he gets a notification on his phone And it is too loud and starts hurting my ears (the sound he has set for his notification takes time to finish). I just ask him if it's fine if he can just lower the volume for his notification because my ear is in actual pain and the volume is too loud. He closes his phone rigner and made no complain or negative reaction about it. We continue solving the questions he asks me look at the table he gave me I ask him If it is fine if I can try solving without looking at the table directly becuase understood how the table works and he explained it. I also wanted to try solving first without the table to see if I completely grasped the concept. He says fine with again no negative response and I proceed to solving this one question. it's a multiple choice question and I explain my answer to him (tried answering the question twice because first time I got the answer wrong) and he starts shouting at me telling me you should be looking at the table. He then continues shouting at me with a louder voice when I tell him that I understand it is my fault and I just really wanted to atleast see what my level is and what I should focus on. I just try to ask him respectively to lower his voice a little because my ear is in pain. He gets pissed and is like if you use that excuse one more time I'm leaving and that I'm acting as if I'm the teacher and he's the student telling him stuff like close ur phone and lower your voice. I start apologizing and telling him it is my fault and that I will not bring it up again after a few seconds of silence I try to bring us back to the topic of calculus. He stands up takes his keys and says I'm not doing this anymore then barges out the door. I was apologizing through the whole process of him getting up and everything. Through this whole thing I did not increase my voice becuase the pain of having a strep throat is extremely painful and increasing my voice would only make it worse I was talking in a low understandable tone (but not low to the point of whispering).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
riVOVfxWf02P8VWNnU6LkSWwe6FQNYVi
|
b11gpt
|
{
"description": "letting my dog pee on my wife's side of the bed",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for letting my dog pee on my wife's side of the bed?
|
My wife has been having a bad week, and between work and grad school, I haven't been there for her much. Last night I finally had some time, so I went to the store, bought all her favorite foods, had a movie night with her, then drew her a bath with a bath bomb and let her soak.
This was late at night, past the puppy's bedtime. I \*did\* take the dog out according to the usual schedule. She just refused to go. Not a good sign, but she's really good at whimpering in her crate until we wake up if she has to go in the middle of the night, so I put her to bed.
While my wife was in the bath enjoying herself, I went and finished my homework. It was about 1am, and I was falling asleep while typing. Finished, asked wife if she would join me in bed.
She wasn't quite done yet. Normally I hate not going to sleep at the same time but I couldn't physically stay awake. So I told her I was going to lay down, please wake me when she came in so I could give her her official good night kiss.
\*Blackout\* I sleep extremely well. Out instantly and awake with my alarm. That's my memory of last night. But apparently I missed some stuff.
It turns out, while I was asleep, my wife was so happy with me she wanted to do me a favor. So she gave the dog a bath. After the bath though, puppy finally asked to be taken outside. My wife wanted to change into pajamas, so dumped her on the bed and asked me to take her out.
Now, I have a history of sleep talking. Sometimes this means my wife'll have an entire conversation with unconscious me, thinking I'm conscious, that I won't learn about until the next day. Up until last night, this was always humorous. Last night, it got me in trouble.
Asleep me agreed verbally to take the dog out. My wife happily goes off to get dressed. Comes back several minutes later, dog has peed on the bed and is getting ready to take a dump on it. I'm rolled over sound asleep. Wife has to take the dog out, and is furious with me. She goes to sleep on the couch and leaves me there.
Part of me thinks ITA because. . . well I agreed to do something and didn't and it resulted in a disgusting bed and my wife having a horrible night's sleep on the bed fuming at me for fairly justified reasons. But at the same time, she's blaming me for something I did while completely unconscious. I have no memory of any of that happening. Moreover. . . she made me sleep in a pee-soaked bed.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
leKXyPg9GtBChcTW92Q00ySs2HXm8FrE
|
asfzj7
|
{
"description": "getting mad at pregnant coworker",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting mad at pregnant coworker?
|
I am currently employed at a local pizza shop in my town. The business is small and only requires two people to run it. During the weekdays it can get pretty dead, like theres a two hour waiting period between each costumer. Anyways, me and my pregnant coworker have this system. She sits in the front in case someone walks in, and I'm either with her or in the back doing other things. (Things like cutting meat, folding boxes, ect). I am annoyed with her because she has a habit of falling asleep, its not like we are doing anything that requires our full attention, but it urkes me for some reason. And I try to be understanding, since she's pregnant. I realize that she is going to be more drained. But I can't help getting frustrated. Despite this, I havent said anything to my boss and I dont plan to. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
8L5xTNstwIsOmejd2JFFUNGqxEK1BPn2
|
b1swyu
|
{
"description": "not lending a friend money",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not lending a friend money?
|
OK so I had a friend (we no longer are) He was hopeless with money and never had any because he always threw it away on having a good time or buying stupid things, in my circle of friends it was known I was doing well for myself financially at the time.
He was going through a messy divorce and he needed a car so he could visit his baby daughter and take her places etc, anyway one day he just asks me straight out to lend him $2,500 to buy a car and I instantly shut him down by saying hell no. I could afford to loan him the money but the reason I didnt was I knew he would never pay me back and more than likely want to start treating me as if I was an ATM machine if I did.
Fast forward a few months and he ends up finding out I gave (not loaned) I gave $400 to another friend on the proviso that they never come to me to ask for money again. They were about to be evicted from their place so I agreed to help them out this one time.
So the friend I declined to help goes off at me, calls me all the names under the sun, says you call yourself a friend and you wont even help a good mate out but you help this guy. He viewed himself as a closer friend than the person I helped and to be fair he had been the closer friend for many years but we had started drifting apart not seeing each other all that much in the last couple of years, we ended up in a screaming match and say some things to each other we probably shouldnt have and that was the end of the friendship.
So AITA for not lending him the money when I could afford to? Should I have just given him $2,500 knowing I would never see it again like I did with the $400?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VdqNt85mwuWURk2eILvYSf4CmTKVgfS1
|
abwcr3
| null |
AITA for (Planning to) Break Up With This Woman Over New Years Flakiness?
|
I (37M) have been dating a woman (39F) for about six months. About three weeks ago, a friend of mine rented an AirBNB cabin a couple hours away for a New Years Eve getaway, invited me and this woman to join. My three best friends from the area and their significant others were also invited and accepted the invite. The woman I've been dating has met all of these people before, but never really spent significant amounts of time with them.
Anyway, I asked her if she was interested. She said yes and even seemed legitimately excited. Great! Five days before we are to go to the cabin, she says she is not comfortable hanging out with these people whom she doesn't know well and cancels. This was annoying, and I knew it would be awkward to explain to my friends, but in and of itself, isn't SO awful. The worst part was that she then seemed to try and make me change my plans by bringing up how I had previously expressed how great it would be for us to spend New Years Eve together. Obviously, I explained to her that that was the plan--until she cancelled--and that I would be still honoring my commitment (financial and otherwise) to my friends. I felt she was either 1) trying to guilt me into cancelling so I would stay with her and do... I don't know or 2) just somehow trying to make me feel guilty about it so she wouldn't feel bad for cancelling?
Then, on top of that, I got a text last night as I was driving home that she ended up going to a cabin with her friends last minute. So, ultimately, even though it probably wasn't pre-meditated, she basically ditched me and my friends and went and hung out with hers--all of whom I HAVE spent time with in an effort to get to know them as it seemed so important to her.
Anyway, I haven't broken up with her... yet as I haven't had any face-to-face time since she flaked. I plan to though. Am I jumping the gun? Am I being an asshole here?
To be fair, most other things are good between us... good sex, good conversation (although she does nitpick at some things about me, which I think might be influencing this decision).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
JKYNnptFkUXlR58znlZ6a36aHKxhL7V9
|
b5yuh0
|
{
"description": "telling a friend they Smell",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I Tell A Friend They Smell?
|
Background: Back in November 2018, a friend who was evicted from her apartment needed a place to stay. My husband and I offered her our spare room till she can get a new place. The problem is, she only bathes in the upstairs sink *ghetto style*. (Our shower is in the basement) She used the shower once, last month and was in there for an hour.
Husband complains she stinks. She smokes and the cigs she smokes are horrendous- her clothing reeks of it, however, there's a definite B.O. issue underlying. Particularly during "that time of month". Even our cats don't want to be near her then.
Husband asked me to say something to her about it, for he's as blunt as a sledgehammer, so if he's the one to approach the subject, he won't be kind.
I'm trying to figure out how to put it to her diplomatically without hurting her feelings. She has deep self esteem and body image issues stemming from ((the bot won't permit me to list the why here))
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
koWOp9W6AOVsqEn8n4vY4sBptptpCoEa
|
b1hk5n
|
{
"description": "telling my teacher(indirectly) I find her class boring",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my teacher(indirectly) I find her class boring?
|
So every 2 weeks for my English class we have a notebook check and at the end of each notebook check there is a box where you are supposed to write how you are feeling about how the class has been. I had this teacher last year and her class was interesting and I really wanted to be in her class again for the next year. However she’s started being really cringe at times and gives a lot of work but it’s tolerable. Recently she just started making the class REALLY boring by doing the same dumb and redundant activities with more redundant assignments which she claimed to be “fun”. I haven’t been in a really good mood either but I didn’t try to use it to affect how I was feeling. So the day of the journal check I wrote down in complete honesty how I’ve found the class boring and uninteresting and how a lot of the assignments feel redundant and whatnot. Later she reads it and calls me over talking about how she didn’t like at all what I wrote. I wanted to say you wanted honest feedback and I gave it. However I actually said that I must have wrote that because I was in a bad mood. Truth be told I was in a bad mood but I didn’t try to use that to affect what I was saying.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
KlSOE9MfxSYcmHZ60RCKXP85wdMB1nq5
|
amwum2
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friends for not inviting me to a New Years party",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friends for not inviting me to a New Years party?
|
So I have a group of friends that I’ve been pretty close with for a while. I just found out yesterday about something that happened around a month ago. I invited all of them to a New Years party and they all said no except one. Apparently everyone (like 7 people) else planned their own party and specifically did not want me and the friend that accepted my invite to go, but they didn’t want me to find out either so they all made excuses and lied about why they couldn’t come to mine. Apparently some of them felt bad though so only a couple ended up doing their own thing on New Years.
I found out and told off a couple of my friends pretty angrily for not telling me about any of it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
J5wC2nG17simutOeKYZXFNDcMYPL7fVC
|
agp0d4
|
{
"description": "getting sad, angry and irritated that my parents are giving my so way more support whilst he's dealing with his mental health issues, than they ever did for me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting sad, angry and irritated that my parents are giving my SO way more support whilst he's dealing with his mental health issues, than they ever did for me.
|
When I was 16, I broke down in my kitchen in front of my parents saying that I hate myself, I want to die and that I hate feeling so shit all the time, I need help.
I only got help by the time I was 24.
​
During that time gap, I was pretty much ignored by my mother, assumingly because she didn't want to acknowledge that there was something wrong with me. She pretty much buried her head in the sand and pretended I was fine, although I really wasn't and would NEVER bring up the topic of me being depressed, with the only exception being her telling me to "just smile and be happy."
My father constantly bullied me, even before my break down. I grew up scared of him and hating him. But during all this stuff about my mental health, I was told that I was "Just making it up" and to "suck it up" and that I need to "nut the fuck up" because I was upsetting my mum.
We did get me an appointment to see a therapist back when I first broke down, but only had the 1 session and was then told that said therapist was moving away to africa, so it was the first and only session they were going to do for me.
During this session, the therapist INSISTED that my parents be in the room with me, so they were there for me telling the therapist about how bullied and ignored I felt.
The whole situation caused my mother to cry when we got home and my father instantly berated me for having this whole situation happen. Everything was my fault and I was a horrible person for making my mother cry.
After that day, any discussion about getting my mental health sorted stopped. No talks about Drs, nothing. The only person who would talk to me about it, was my aunt, (who just so happens to be an anti-vaxxer, so yeah...) who also has depression. But the problem with this was how my aunt basically scared me away from getting antidepressants cause she told me how they made her a completely different person and there were a tonne of side effects and I'd end up like her.
She ended up buzz cutting her hair away multiple times and basically just being all over the fucking place, mentally.
So I was terrified of antidepressants. I didn't want to turn into my aunt, who was just batshit at this point.
So I went without help for several years. As a result, I had 0 energy or motivation during my GCSE and A-Level exams, and I just passed all of them.
After college, I developed gallstones, of which the constant pain caused me to lose all my hair, I could hardly eat, move or do much of anything without just being in horrible pain. During this, my depression just got worse and worse.
I just went through every day being okay if something were to happen to cause my death.
3 years later and 1 gallbladder down, I was then diagnosed with a sliding hiatus hernia. This basically causes me similar pain to what I had with the gallstones. Only this is permanent, since Drs have stated that they really don't want to do surgery to fix it unless they REALLY have to.
During all this medical problems though, at 20, I found this lovely guy who's literally the light of my life. I really love him and hope to spend the rest of my days with him.
But I also felt so sorry for him for having to deal with me and how bad my depression made me. But, he was the one who finally gave me the courage to go get antidepressants because I really didn't want to drag him down this dark, scary hole with me. Yes, it took a while at 24, but I got there.
I got counselling, as well as antidepressants. I was on the up, I can say they really helped me.
All the while, I got 0 encouragement from my family about any of this, apart from my grandmother. She's my best friend and makes it 100% clear that I'm her favorite.
My aunt kept trying to scare me away from Drs, my mother kept burying her head in the sand and my father just plain ignores me at this point.
I'm now playing assistant for my mother with her childcare business, while she goes through multiple surgeries for a shopping list of ailments. I practically have to do everything when she either can't use her arms or her eyes, depending on the surgery. When she's in a period of being ok, we tag team. All the jobs I either fully take over or tag team, is pretty much everything apart from laundry because my dad insists that he does it.
So when mum is out of commission, I do all the cooking, cleaning and all the physical stuff with the kids, such as picking them up and loading them into the car, or lifting them on to the changing table. Basically all the physical stuff. Which with my hiatus hernia, can actually be really painful sometimes. Yet I still do it.
When mum is ok, we share the load.
Despite all this, I'm constantly told by both parents that, although I'm "invaluable", I'm still "fucking useless and lazy" for not washing up two plates a bowl and a mug one day cause I was waiting for more so it's not so much water used.
I get this sort of shit constantly. All the while, my dad and bother do nothing to help.
But recently, my SO has been diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety and it's like my family's attitude has done a total 180. I would joke that my family liked my SO more than me, but now I'm starting to believe it.
My mum and dad constantly ask about my SO and ask if he's okay and how he's doing with getting the help he needs and are now constantly asking me about what things they can send him to cheer him up, etc.
Always offering treats and presents and a place to stay.
I'm happy they love him and everything... But, wth?
Why is he getting all the love and support while I got nothing? I get so sad, angry and frustrated about this series of events that I'm starting to well up as I type.
I've been helping my SO and doing everything I can to help and support him during this process. We have gaming and/or movie nights, we indulge in MTG and all sorts of things. I even read him short stories to help him get to sleep when his anxiety is keeping him awake.
But the fact he's getting so much love and attention from my parents is really frustrating me. I'm not mad at him, I'm mad at my parents.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
tLsM4JVcMgXkQzvKgPLdUzVYsSGtQjfx
|
b6bxea
|
{
"description": "wanting to kiss my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to kiss my girlfriend?
|
So me and this girl started talking quite a while back and I liked her a lot and she seemed to like me back, so eventually I asked her to a school dance, we went, she said she was interested in me, and so we dated a bit. However after several successful dates I asked if she wanted to make things official but she said no, she has had bad experiences with some of her exes and she wanted to get to know me better first. Seemed reasonable to me so we carried on as we were for a while in this weird limbo between dating and not, and eventually I asked her again if she wanted to make things official. This time her answer was a lot more ambiguous, something like "I don't know, I'm not sure if I want a relationship rn."
​
Now this put me in a weird place bc I wasnt sure whether to continue investing in us or not, so naturally I struggled over this for a while. Anyway fast forward about two weeks and she says yes she would like to make things official (It's worth noting that it had been about 2 months at this point). So of course I was happy to finally be official but then she said that she doesn't want to kiss. She said she doesnt want to kiss bc she is afraid she will lose control and it will escalate into sex, which she is not ready for yet (I dont mind this, if she isnt ready for sex she isnt ready, whatever), and partly because she has bad experiences with some bad exes.
​
Now I just cant help but feel so fucking frustrated, that Ive waited so long for a girl I really like just to have her say we cant go farther than a hug. AITA for wanting to kiss her? It seems like such a simple, minor, thing to me, but what do I know.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
kBBuA8GBiXiCNyk6VbzCQ4nkLuLTIdS5
|
b4e6ir
|
{
"description": "rejecting my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for rejecting my best friend?
|
This is an alt account for obvious reasons. So I'm in college and currently my next door dorm neighbor who I'll call Chris has become one of my best friends. He's funny, sweet, cute and has helped me through a lot of my personal shit. I honestly don't deserve him as he helped me through some physical and emotional injuries over the year. I see him being present for the rest of my life for sure. Over the course of getting to know him I developed some romantic feelings for him but thought it was best not to do anything as it would be awkward if we broke up. Plus he has never dated anyone or has been sexually active. He's starting to become more into Christianity and I'm not super religious so I feel like I would ruin him if anything were to happen.
​
So Chris invited me to be his date ot this dance and I was ecstatic. We danced the night away even though I was on a crutch haha. Eventually he confessed that he had feelings for me and I was shocked that he did it. I said I did too but when I also confessed he had this serious look on his face and it seemed like he didn't care. I brought up my issues that I wrote above and he told me there's nothing I could do to harm him. It meant a lot and I asked him if we were official. Instead of saying yes he kept talking about not wanted to pressure me and we should go slow. After then we got interrupted and had to cut off the conversation. The rest of the night he didn't even kiss me so when we went back to our place I tried lay some hints down that I wanted to move things along physically. It seems he didn't care or was oblivious as he just got dressed and went to his best friends birthday party that he mentioned earlier.
​
Honestly I felt like shit but eventually I moved on and started talking to this guy who I'll call Dan from my club sport who was interested in me. Chris asked me out on a date a week later but I thought he was toying with my feelings at that point. Over our break I met up with Dan as I had surgery in his city. He asked me out and we started dating. When I came back to school I felt like I had to sort things out with Chris. Chris asked if I was dating Dan and I said not officially because I didn't want to hurt him. Then Chris started saying how he overheard us sleeping together like not too long after he asked me on a date and that gave him some kind of anxiety attack. I got super embarrassed and told him we were watching a raunchy movie and he believed me. So we worked things out and we seemed to patch our relationship up.
​
I've been trying to keep the two separated and had to tell Chris that I've been meeting up with others. But later my new roommate went and told him that I was dating Dan since break and now Chris is pissed that I've been lying to him. I think sometimes to protect those we care about we have to do things not normally ok but my other friends say I'm wrong and that I have issues.
​
I'm such at a lost reddit, was I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
z16ieEYYpWKkN3nG3fsQDhU0PZKXNfFW
|
awpq4l
|
{
"description": "learning some Romanian so I could cuss out my step mom",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA because I learned some Romanian so I could cuss out my step mom?
|
My step mom treats me like shit. She's from Romania but is a citizen allegedly. I don't know what my dad sees in her. She's really mean like when my dad and her are talking about politics and I try to add something she says "adults are speaking". Bitch. I don't know what she wants. My dad doesn't have money or anything. She told my dad I'm fat and put me on a diet and took my PS4. I'm not allowed in my own house until it's dark out. She has no right to do this she isn't my mom and any time I try to talk to her she disrespects me. She talks to me like I'm brain dead and says shit like "when you pay bills in this house then I will treat you like adult". She talks shit about me in her language all of the time. One day I had enough and started giving her shit right back. I looked up some stuff about her country and they were like a communist dictatorship until the 80's so I start calling her comrade, Elena Chowcescu, I learned some cuss words too and she gets so pissed lmao I tell her I'm going to call ICE on her ass and that she's not even white she's a gypsy and she loses her fucking shit. My dad acts like I'm the bad guy but he didn't do shit when she was bullying me and now she can't take a dose of her own medicine.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
fBexlYulIrPGkub41ehS91ljGybEsQEf
|
b2xyq5
|
{
"description": "not wanting my father to see my child",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my father to see my child?
|
To put things in context, very fast : my mother left my father and I when I was a baby, letting him providing for us. Then the day my father remarried, had children and his wife made my life miserable until I decided to live with my grandparents.
My father and I haven't had a good relationship since then, and even before. I always considered him spineless and he resented me for what my mother did. Still, he helped me financially for my studies, and gave me a nest egg when I was adult. Mainly for fiscal optimization, but hey. The nest egg was supposed to be for everything besides the studies but I never touched it, preferring to work.
We saw each other during family events, but have no more affinities. I just see the ghost of someone I once liked. He lives a wealthy life, or so it seems, and I share none of his interests. He shares none of mine either.
Fast forward many many years, and here we are.
Two events degraded the already low esteem I had of him.
First, his daughter, my half-sister, recently started to open herself to the world, seeing people outside of her close family circles, and especially dating a guy that her mother did not approve. Indeed she was already shipped with some other boy, thus her mother started to make my half-sister's life miserable too. When consulted about it, my father insisted that he would stay neutral in this matter. (Just like he was neutral about me years earlier, allowing his wife to lie and manipulate to her heart's content.)
Second, I recently had a child, and wanted to start investing in a home for my wife, my kid an I. To do so, I took the aforementionned nest egg into account. So I was surprised when I learned that my father had liquidated it to pay his taxes and debts.
While he finally accepted to give this money back after a heated conversation (claiming that the money has always been his and that I should have taken it before if I needed it, and "Welcome to life"), I am still disgusted by the contrast between the high life he's living, his participation (even presidency) in a charity club, the money his spends in futilities with his wife and other son, and the fact that he took money that he claimed was mine in my back. The throwback to my previous situation with my half-sister doesn't help to appreciate him.
Thus I decided that this man and his wife had nothing of value to give to my family and especially my son. I especially don't want my stepmother to see him and I see him and her as a single entity at this point, so be it. Actually this money matter was a relief, because it gave me a solid reason to prevent them from reaching another kid.
Not sure if I am an ingrateful asshole, overprotective, right or a little bit of both.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
z97wEPl4WKe2oqD6iEWD1JNs4D6a9Kea
|
axxkir
|
{
"description": "telling a girl that I like her, especially now when she's about to get into a relationship with someone else",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for telling a girl that I like her, especially now when she's about to get into a relationship with someone else.
|
I'll keep this very short, and spare you with the details.
So there's this girl in my office that I like very much. She's been single since last 2-3 years. She and I are kind of best friends since 7-8 months. But recently, another guy who's slightly senior to me, proposed her ( not exactly propose, but he just told her that he likes her, and she also reciprocated).
Now WIBTA if I tell her my feelings towards her?
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
Bt7tNZAwc6VrdLdLMDZl9dB0lXySuKyQ
|
b9rjrl
|
{
"description": "being pissed my boyfriend got a second apartment without telling me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for being pissed my boyfriend got a second apartment without telling me?
|
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 years now, living together for 3. The entire time, he’s worked a really intense job, about an hour and a half away. The commute wouldn’t be so bad were it not for the 70 hour weeks. He loves our town though and refuses to move closer to work.
His company puts him up in a hotel for free and he usually stays near the office 2-3 nights a week. He’s been complaining about it a lot lately, mostly feeling like his life is constantly in flux (and he’s losing a lot of things...)
He’s mentioned getting a cheap room in a house with some of his colleagues but he mentions a lot of random ideas, so I figured we’d discuss it more seriously if it was...more serious.
Well after not really talking outside of text for a few days because he was working 18-hour shifts...he came home and told me he rented a room (“I had to make an immediate choice when the opportunity came up”)
Our finances are separate so money isn’t the issue but aita for being furious about this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
dsijTviBxaq2mFVGTlhOeWW2ek3EjybU
|
ase2g5
|
{
"description": "asking for extra credit",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA for asking for extra credit?
|
I’m in college, I’m a film student taking an online anatomy class to knock out a gen ed requirement. The class uses Smart Book by McGraw Hill. This program allows students to read, do assignments and take quizzes from an online text book. In addition, we also need to participate in a weekly discussion forum.
I was working on the assignment in Smart Book and I had answered 70/100 questions and it said I had 70% progress. I had to close my browser at a certain point and when I reopened it, it took me back to the very first question. It still said I was 70% completed so I called customer support and they told me that I would only need to complete 30 more questions and the assignment would be complete.
This was a lie. The site forced me to answer 70 extra questions with no credit before adding any progress to my assignment. Basically forcing me to do extra and ungraded homework for a class that I already consider a waste of my time for not being related to my major. Every week I’m neck deep in homework assignments from all courses and I value the little free time I get. This is cutting into the time I have to myself and the time I have to do other homework.
I feel like I should receive extra credit for this, under the fact that I’m forced to do extra homework that I never asked for or was told I’d have to do in the first place.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
0FuFxQjVjsgbv6hjvjmHlbpxboaeVR6y
|
axn77q
|
{
"description": "telling my mum about my status with friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mum about my status with friends?
|
Throwaway account because some of my ‘friends’ follow me.
My mum cares about me and my life at school and regularly asks if I have friends and whether I’m happy or not. Usually I’d say yes because I want to keep her happy but recently it seems as though I’ve started to have less and less friends and I’m not sure who is a fake or a real friend. I decided to tell the truth to her as lying isn’t getting me anywhere.
Bit of extra info. I don’t really think of myself as a popular person - which I’m ok with, I’m an introvert and most of the time I’d prefer to be by myself than with friends. This is the case with most of the family, so we don’t go out much and my mum wanted to change this because she thinks I don’t like being with myself.
Going back to me telling her the truth about not thinking I have any friends. She asked one day “u/Steve-Irwins-Koala do you have any friends?” I said not really, she asked if I enjoy going out and I say not really e.t.c.
When we got home, she asked my dad a question, like which of these bin bags is the right one for our bin and he said I’m not sure. She immediately used this as an excuse to start complaining about how my dad doesn’t do anything, about because he’s partly on the spectrum - barely - that his genes passed into mine and now I’m Autistic. She shouts that she is tired of me being antisocial and my dad being a nuisance. Don’t think I am autistic btw.
I’m starting to think that telling her the truth has not gotten me anywhere and might actually affect some important aspect of mine and my dads life.
TL;DR : mum always asks if I’m ok at school, I usually say yes but today I said no, she immediately starts flipping out when we get home and fights with me and my dad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
8aQ9721IMvY8IelUNDpMpbozoC30vwk9
|
a20ql9
|
{
"description": "tipping 10% for bad to regular service, 15% for good service and 20% for extraordinary service",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for tipping 10% for bad to regular service, 15% for good service and 20% for extraordinary service?
|
I understand the perils of the service industry. Recently a friend suggested I should give a standard tip of 20% and go up from there.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
YKBGRaAe3NfEg8hzVw1OHQLTmUOHpQir
|
a0e51w
|
{
"description": "getting my partner a fitness tracker for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for getting my partner a fitness tracker for Christmas?
|
My partner is a normal weight, and healthy. I have another present for her that she has asked for, nothing to do with fitness. The reasons why I want to get her a fitness tracker:
She enjoys exercising
She can’t find enough time to exercise so I thought this might be a good motivator
She exercises primarily for mental health purposes
Reasons why it might be a bad idea:
It could be insulting
She can’t find much time to exercise at the moment so it might make her feel bad about not exercising or using it
Might be a bad present, like giving your mother a vacuum cleaner
Tl;dr is it a bad idea to get my normal weight and healthy partner a fitness tracker? WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
V6VgEaLWZzJl6ReX1ACIBlPsVmvdqqDE
|
b28vzx
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my (now ex) boyfriend for this",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my (now ex) boyfriend for this
|
so my now ex boyfriend and i went on a holiday with his family, it was a pretty beachy holiday town to give you an idea.
there was multiple times where i caught him checking out the girls around in bikinis and making comments w/ his dad about the girls, which bothered me but only because he was so obvious about it.
but what happened after this when we got back from this holiday is, he texted me basically stating that the whole trip he was testing me and seeing if i was “worth” dating still. to which he said i wasn’t because i shouldn’t get annoyed over such things as him checking out other girls. i argued that it’s not fair what he said and he’s called me the asshole for getting mad in the first place. he then broke up with me over text a day or two later after ignoring me completely.
so am i the asshole for getting annoyed in the first place?
sorry if it’s confusing etc, it was a confusing situation and i’ve tried my hardest to explain it all
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jL2kz4X5dymUeM14xS0iGnT62vuHIPmJ
|
agamkh
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take on extra work with no promise of a compensation",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take on extra work with no promise of a compensation?
|
I've been at my current job for 7+ years and despite my honest, best effort I haven't been promoted and my raises have been laughable. Sure, I get the highest possible ratings on my review, but my raises are pennies. Promotions only go to people who have been with the company for 15+ years, regardless of how much or little they do.
In my career I'd always take on extra work, do things what were not necessarily my job description but helpful for our department, strive to train and learn all the processes we do daily. And it's gotten me nowhere. So after our last "raise" I just decided I don't want to waste my time anymore. I no longer do extra, I rarely help out. Nobody has even said anything to me or asked why.
Now today my coworker was talking about adding another process to our work we do jointly b/c she wanted something more to do since she was bored. I want no parts of it and I said as much as politely as I could manage. I can tell she's kinda annoyed with me. Boss had no reaction.
So AITA for not wanting to do more work or do extra things b/c I get almost nothing in return for my efforts? Personal satisfaction only goes so far and it sure as heck doesn't pay my bills.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jtgooai1eLgHzoVaz5GfWHYxp92MNT91
|
azwz8o
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to work tomorrow",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to work tomorrow?
|
I work at a preschool as a float. This means that I am able to work in any classroom.
Recently, I’ve been in one classroom only while we’re short staffed. My co-teachers in the room have expressed interest in having me in the room full time. They have asked the office staff multiple times why interviews are taking place when I have proven to be reliable and interested in the position. I have also expressed interest in the position and asked the office staff about it directly. Each time, myself and my co-teachers are given non-answers like “we didn’t know you were interested” and “we have to follow procedure”. Both answers are wrong/lies. They knew I was interested before posting the available job. When my lead teacher expressed interest in me to the office, our director said, “her? Really?” as if me as an option blew her mind.
Tomorrow, a person is coming in for a classroom trial. They will be in the classroom for two hours and I am expected to be there and fill them in on how our classroom runs and how the agency runs. My co-teachers are not thrilled about this person but realize that after being interviewed, she’s entitled to a classroom trial per our procedure.
I don’t want to help this person get the job I’m fighting for. Part of me feels like I’m being immature/throwing a temper tantrum. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nIA6TaerfbYDI2Ats2dmoenoTyIiiXbf
|
a352ck
|
{
"description": "making a bad post about something",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making a bad post about something?
|
I made a post on r/MaliciousCompliance yesterday. It went horribly wrong (everyone who saw it down voted) so I deleted it to avoid the hate in the replies. But I was linked here in numerous replies. Am I the asshole for even THINKING about posting it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 5
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
xbFXivqBZryDWGKojjlTM7AjHsROqYcQ
|
b8qo7r
|
{
"description": "being to 'lecture' people every time I see someone being an asshole",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I were to ‘lecture’ people every time I see someone being an asshole?
|
This is gonna be kinda rhetorical. So I live in a kinda place where people really don’t follow social rules all that much. Everyday that I have to communicate with the general public is a day I get upset. For instance, people cutting in line, people playing stuff without headphones, people just being straight up rude, yelling, arguing in public, (sales) people discriminating based on weight, race or gender and so on and so on. Sometimes I say something if I have an energy for an unpleasant situation and sometimes I just try to ignore these things. I have this fantasy where every time I see something like that I would tell the person that what they are doing is wrong and then proceed to explain exactly why it’s wrong and what they can do to improve themselves (and thus the society, making things better for all of us). I don’t know if I would even have the energy for that, but WIBTA if I would just go around lecturing people on common decency?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
klDt5pMGQtsdUV4CnqiYTx4lezRZuEjC
|
b31u9y
|
{
"description": "not wanting to work with a fellow employee that prefers gender neutral pronouns",
"pronormative_score": 88,
"contranormative_score": 42
}
|
AITA for not wanting to work with a fellow employee that prefers gender neutral pronouns?
|
I work for a major retailer near a big city. Recently we hired a new kid named Chuck. Chuck is great. Chuck does their job, shows up on time, and is pleasant to be around. If you’ve ever worked retail you know not many people can check these 3 basic boxes.
A couple months after being hired Chuck began asking people to not use him, he, bro, sir, etc when we referring to Chuck. Cool, no big deal, I’m down for respecting that sort of thing and I imagine it was super tough to tell someone let alone 30 plus people. Chuck is unsure if they are asexual or possibly even trans but knows they no longer want to be referred to with a male gendered pronoun.
So this was fine at first but has been becoming more difficult as time has wore on. It’s a daily struggle to drop man, sir, and bro from my phrases and mannerisms. And I feel terrible every time. Chuck just gives me this look until I realize that I’ve done it again, which I then apologize for again, and repeat ad nauseam.
I’m not alone in this struggle and it’s wearing thin on several others. I’m to the point now where I just kind of avoid Chuck and limit my interactions with Chuck. I’ve even struggled to write this post ensuring not to refer to Chuck with a male pronoun. I like Chuck, but I don’t want to deal with Chuck anymore. I’m also very aware that this is most likely even more difficult for Chuck than it is for everyone else.
That being said, I’m tired of walking on eggshells around Chuck, it’s exhausting, and I no longer want to work with Chuck. I’m probably the asshole here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 40,
"OTHER": 40,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 48,
"INFO": 4
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 88,
"WRONG": 42
}
|
RIGHT
|
J9wLW5P9u7K2qJWTknLnoZxzhWhWt8VN
|
atltij
| null |
AITA Employer problems...
|
This is an event that occurred this past summer, and has recently been brought up again, anyways..... this is the situation. Am I the jack wad?
Over this past summer I quit my job working at a farm to pursue a career in building homes, it seemed like a great idea to do because I like working with my hands and building things. So I start my job at this small construction company that was owned by family friends. These people are very awesome friends and are great people....HOWEVER, at work? Pffff, totally different experience.
On the first day we did a roof tear off on this house and we never got a break to drink water or anything... in my state we are required two 15 minute breaks and a lunch break. Neither were provided. Also keep in mind that it’s the dead of summer, the first day was 85 degrees, while doing HARD manual labor? You can imagine. Construction is not for the faint of heart. On the first day, I could understand that, I figured that this wasn’t a common occurrence and we were in a hurry to get this part of the job done, so I just let it go......however.....this was an everyday
occurrence.
I was required to literally run everywhere I went and if I wasn’t running at full speed I was considered lazy. I was also yelled at if I stopped working to go get some water.
I asked about breaks after a little over 2 weeks. They refused to give me breaks. Somehow I still stayed at the job even after this. I just blew it off and sucked it up.
I was constantly verbally abused by the framers and they said if I worked for them I would be fired, they would also curse at me and would call me names, I don’t deserve to be treated like that. To be honest this really made me feel terrible because I was BUSTING MY ASS everyday to earn these guys respect and try my absolute hardest to be the best I could be.
There were no safety standards, I feared for my life at some points. They’re was one day when a huge 10x20 beam almost fell on my head, when they removed it no one thought to check for people below, if it had hit me, the chances of death were significant, not light by any means. They didn’t require us to wear safety glasses or take precautions such as these, PPE was not enforced or cared about. I got my own, no one else cared enough to protect themselves.
.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZE4baQCw4jGfS4XQJHC7Dpt5diKiQBQb
|
b23q9q
|
{
"description": "not paying my friend rent money back",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not paying my friend rent money back?
|
About two yeas ago I rented a small workshop space for my friend and me to do some woodworking.
It was in the same house as his apartment and about 200$ per month. We agreed that each of us will pay 100$ and split the money we need to set up everything.
A few days after he signed the contract in his name I asked him for his bank information so I can set up a standing order for 100€ each month.
He said no it's ok, since he's already renting an apartment in the same house he will manage it over his existing contract.
Then we never lost a word about rent again.
​
Now after two years he's moving in a house an hour away, so we dissolved the workspace.
He then wrote me a text saying I need to pay him 2500$ because I never payed him the monthly rent.
I was kinda shocked and asked him what was going on and why did he tell me that "it's ok" when I asked him for his bank information two years ago and NEVER said anything about me not paying him (we saw us at least 3 days a week).
​
I would not have cared paying him 100$ each month while using that space. But 2.5k afterwards is a ton of money.
​
Am I the asshole for not paying him that money?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
MFiXU1OwL8xN4R8U5hYssiS2Ukr0QUMv
|
b9gi04
|
{
"description": "telling a girl that she's not \"just being honest\", she's just being a bitch",
"pronormative_score": 201,
"contranormative_score": 30
}
|
AITA for telling a girl that she’s not “just being honest”, she’s just being a bitch?
|
This just happened at lunch earlier and my one friend is telling me I went too far and making me second guess myself.
There’s this girl who is sort of part of my group of friends, but not really. She eats lunch with us and hangs around before classes start, but that’s it. None of us hang out with her outside of school. Mostly because she’s very insulting, all the time. It’s seriously like she doesn’t know how to have a conversation without shitting on someone. She just says “I’m just being honest” a lot. The problem is that she can’t take a joke herself. Even polite criticism pisses her off A LOT and makes shit super awkward. My friends and I have talked about her and all of us are really sick of her, but no one has wanted to say anything because she blows stuff way out of proportion when it’s about her.
Today at lunch though I had enough. She was shit talking one of my friends for being really skinny. “Are you sure you’re not trans? I’ve never heard of a guy being anorexic.” And then, “It’s not attractive. Just being honest.” So I said, “You’re not just being honest, you’re being a bitch.” She asked me what my problem was, that she was just kidding. And I was like, “No one thinks you’re funny. The only thing that’s funny is that you of all people think you can talk shit about how other people look. Take a look at yourself.”
No one else was saying anything. She got mad and told me to go fuck myself and got up and left. I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing, but my one friend told me I went to far with her and should try to talk to her tomorrow.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 201,
"EVERYBODY": 23,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 201,
"WRONG": 30
}
|
RIGHT
|
Azo90bQHGJEBof6TubOLQTZCEHdWWMAk
|
a14tbr
|
{
"description": "telling my gf to get an abort",
"pronormative_score": 339,
"contranormative_score": 357
}
|
AITA for telling my GF to get an abort?
|
Reference: I'm 22, she's 23. - Europe.
We started dating mid August, she told me.she has PCOS and could not get pregnant.
Through our entire dating time, she's always said she can't get pregnant, and if she ever got pregnant, she'd just get an abort - No biggie.
We found out 2 weeks ago that she was pregnant, and yesterday she was at the gynecologist, and was told she was 8 weeks in (Law in Denmark is that at 8-12 weeks it's surgical, before 8 weeks it's chemical abortion, aka take a pill)
She'd been quite slow through the entire process, first she forgot to buy a pregnancy test for ~3/4 days, them she slept over on the day she should visit her doctor, and could get a new appointment 3 days later. Add onto the fact, her initial doctors schedule was a whole week later than when she called, means she didn't call in for an immediate time (In Denmark this is possible, and is free, so no economical reason not to)
The entire time she's been hesitant about it, begins questioning my reasons (I work 24/7, I won't be there for the kid, she has no income, and I can't in my current job afford to get even more stressed out) - She kept telling me that having a baby, isn't stressful - Which to my knowledge from every parent I know - it really is.
She uses extremely vulgar language when speaking about abortion, such as 'Alright I'll just kill the baby.
She then told me, that if she gets the surgical abortion, there's a risk she can't get pregnant again - I want a kid in the future but as I am right now - I'm not able to, and frankly so don't think she is either - She lives off welfare currently, has some mental health issues, and for her money to run around, she needs a helping hand from me - Which I don't mind, as long as she works towards getting a future.
She then told me last night, that she had actually been pregnant around 10 years ago - Which was another red flag to me - Because she claims she can't get pregnant, and that the PCO kicked in after her last pregnancy, but no doctor officially told her she couldn't.
Never have i said anything, that could hint towards me wanting a child *yet*, and I've explicitly told her a stern no.
At the gynecologist yesterday, she was asked if she wanted the abortion - Which she said no to, and she wanted to ask me if I still wanted her to abort, so instead of calling or texting me - She didn't reschedule, and spoke with me last night.
I feel like she misused my trust, by telling me she can't get pregnant, when no doctors has said it, and hiding the fact she's been pregnant before.
The fact she is so hesitant to get an abortion, that she's been at least 2 weeks slower in the process than what she could've been, means she needs the surgical procedure, and frankly means I don't feel bad for her - Had she hurried it up a bit, she'd be done with this 2 weeks ago, with a chemical procedure.
Reddit.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 187,
"OTHER": 321,
"EVERYBODY": 170,
"NOBODY": 18,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 339,
"WRONG": 357
}
|
WRONG
|
l9xT6xMQnuJ3p8YRghUiSDPjL8w2Etou
|
auv7kt
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend for opening up to me about her past abuse",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend for opening up to me about her past abuse? [UPDATE]
|
Original post here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/aobtea/wibta_if_i_broke_up_with_my_girlfriend_for/?st=JSLAC904&sh=650bea4d
After reading some of the comments, I realized what a selfish, immature asshole I was being. Also realized that I did not want to lose her despite my initial anxieties. I’m deeply ashamed of the original post, but I felt that I should update since it’s been a few weeks.
I apologized to my girlfriend for the way I acted. She forgave me, but things were different. She was not bringing it up anymore and I could tell she was still really hurt. I felt like shit, which I deserved. I decided to try to show her I’m ready to be supportive. I accompanied her to therapy a few times [not seeing the therapist myself, just waiting for her in the waiting room]. I started researching this topic trying to figure out how to handle it. I ask her about it and tell her I’m here if she wants to talk. I’ve been trying to do nice things for her around the apartment to show my support. I know it probably sounds ridiculous but I really wanted to make it up to her and had no idea how.
A few days ago we had a very long conversation where we laid everything out in the open. I told her why I was so distant at first and how I’m afraid to hurt her, and she told me how badly I made her feel. She told me a few stories about what she went through too along with telling me what she needs from me. It was really emotional. I think we are in a better place now. She seems to feel more comfortable around me again, which I am glad about. The idea of me attending therapy as well came up but sadly we don’t have means for that right now. She still attends twice a week.
As far as our sex life goes, it’s pretty much nonexistent. We have had sex one time since on Valentine’s Day, and it honestly wasn’t enjoyable for either of us. It does suck but I’m okay with waiting until she’s ready.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little intimidated still because I am. I feel all the time like I need to be extra careful with her now which I know isn’t true. It’s gonna take some work for both of us. I appreciate all of the comments, good and bad, that made me wake up. She deserves a partner who has her back and I’m trying my best.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
U3scEZDh18OtKmYxf3J9WbjyAElNruVr
|
aurz6v
|
{
"description": "not attempting to meet my brother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not attempting to meet my brother?
|
Note: I'm going to be telling this story from the perspective of my mom, because it makes most sense that way. I am also missing many details, but I'll answer any questions to the best of my ability.
My father told me that he had been married before he met my mother when I was 14. I was sitting in a diner with my brother, and got very serious, and said that he needed to tell us something. To sum it up, he explained that he'd met this woman when he was fairly young, and they got married basically right after they started dating. She was a ballerina, which is an important detail because he loved ballet so, so much. He told us that they had a son, who he hadn't seen since him and the woman got divorced. My brother and I got the impression that it was an extremely messy, painful divorce, and that they ended hating each other so much that they never wanted to see each other again.
At this point I think that it's significant to note that my father was a war veteran with PTSD, depression, and he was an alcoholic. He ran from the nazis as an extremely young boy, and he had lots of problems that he never fully recovered from.
Back to the story, though. My father continued to tell us that she got remarried, and he hasn't seen his son since. He thought that the boy's stepfather had fully taken the roll as an actual father, and because the boy was a baby when they got divorced, the boy thought that his stepfather was his actual father. We assume that the boy was never told about us. As my brother and I grew up, we thought about this occasionally, and the fact that we had a half-brother whom we had never met, and who didn't even know we existed.
Later in life, we found him. He lives in the state next door to us and is fairly successful. We didn't reach out to him. It could have ruined his life. He still lives there with his family. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KcvzoZDNkZNJa9uc1tWxNSSA2juaJ5v7
|
arh5am
|
{
"description": "not wanting to stay longer at my mom's friends house because they weren't giving out Red Packets for Chinese New Year this year",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to stay longer at my mom’s friends house because they weren’t giving out Red Packets for Chinese New Year this year?
|
For the past 3 years, I enjoyed visiting my Mom’s friend’s house because I would get about 100 dollars worth of Red Packets (traditional red envelopes that contain money, given during Chinese New Year) and there’d be some gambling involved. This year, my mom informed me last minute that they decided there won’t be any Red Packets this year. I was bummed but I still thought the right thing to do was to show up with food at least. Then I’d leave earlier to meet a friend of mine. But my mom insists that I stay longer and gamble until the end. I told her I already made plans and she replied, “oh so you’re just coming for the money and thats it?”
Im not gonna lie, the Red Packets were a huge reason why I came every year and I told her that. She didn’t reply me after that. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
VaquCN1MmucGgF1igpXcbLrPqdPIOurl
|
ayqg0u
|
{
"description": "being mad at a friend that is helping me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being mad at a friend that is helping me?
|
Throwaway because this friend has access to my original account.
Me, 15M K, 17M
I am having problems with a friend of mine and would like to know who the asshole is. Now, the situation we are in is an interesting one. He is quite self-centered and we have been having problems with that since around September. The main part of the problem is his personality. He is judgmental and gives himself leniency at the same time. (Yes, we are both teens.) It certainly doesn't help that himself and his parents are:
* Somewhat anti-vaxxer (such as supporting delayed vaccinations)
* At the (extremely) opposite side of the political spectrum than I am
* Into certain online cultures that are less than optimal
* Their mental state is almost akin to being brainwashed (like believing every single thing that is told to them by certain news outlets)
* Is always angry at the world
* Most of his decisions are made out of fear
* Extremely lenient towards his own group of people
Normally, I would have gotten out of this relationship as fast as I could. Every day with him feels like sitting next to a bag of toxic waste. However, I do have to rely on him to drive me to school everyday.
Recently, he has been pushing towards trying to leave 10 minutes earlier by showing up 10 minutes earlier and expecting me to be ready. To be completely fair to him, I certainly have been short tempered with him in this past week, and that certainly couldn't be chalked up to the time we leave at. Anyhoo, yesterday his parents texted my parents telling my parents that I had been dismissive with his concerns.
Nothing happened in the long run, but I would like judgement from a bunch of internet strangers I do not know. So reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
btwlIYU6Vz7Pv9Ymf7UYopRKRKKsx7eq
|
anju0e
|
{
"description": "letting my kid keep a toy she found at the park",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for letting my kid keep a toy she found at the park?
|
My toddler found a fingerling at the park. We asked around, and nobody claimed it, so I let her keep it. It’s a community park, it had been rained on and had clearly been there for days, and we asked if it belonged to anyone before I let her keep it.
My husband told me “Finders Keepers” isn’t a good lesson to teach my kids. I disagree. What do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ua0sTORujeXoD6NRwrVh7IGtuF7YUsZM
|
abpvmw
|
{
"description": "burning my mom's birthday card",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for burning my mom's birthday card?
|
Obligatory sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile
So, to give context, I [21F] had a boyfriend [21] for around 3 years who was manipulative and mentally abusing before I broke it off ~9 months ago. He was nice to my parents, especially my mother, who had no idea how he was when we were alone.
Flashforward to after the breakup (and many "suicide" attempts later, in my home while I'm at work), he's still keeping contact with my mom to brag about how great his life is and this and that. My mom continues to bring him up after us being freshly out of our relationship, so I message him one day to not talk to my mom anymore and how it's extremely weird that he's still talking to her and to come get the rest of his things out of my home. He gets defensive and acts as though I'm being angry and questions me, since he had gotten a new job, "Are you jealous of my success?" So I block him.
And so he decided... to act like a small child and screenshot my messages and send them to my mom, whining that I didn't want him messaging her anymore. After a long conversation with my mom, she agreed not to talk to him anymore nor to bring him up. Months fly by with him having no contact with my mother, and all is well. I have a new boyfriend who's incredible, understanding and kind. My relationship with my mom is better than it's ever been and I love her to bits (after pushing her away for years because of my ex).
And now to today.
Obviously the first of January is a holiday for post, but I always check the mail out of habit since we get a lot of mail stolen, especially when no one else is home. Today, I found a letter with only my mom's name on the front, with no address or postage (which I believe is technically illegal). Now, she isn't home and I had a feeling about the handwriting. And I open it, and sure enough, it's my ex boyfriend sending a birthday card to my mom. It has some emotional throw-up inside and some cash. So, I took the card and some extra cardboard I had laying around and tossed it in our firepit and burned it. I made sure you couldn't tell I what I had burned, or even that I had burned something. Just ashes.
I really didn't want to give the card to my mom, but I felt horrible for keeping a birthday card away from her, even if it was from my ex. Should I have done something else...? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ACM3G0do1P8aNdVSJScMy9dLrpjpFyDi
|
aoiuqu
|
{
"description": "not changing my behavior for my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not changing my behavior for my girlfriend?
|
My girlfriend and I got into an argument last night over this and while I think I'm in the right, I want to be sure moving forward in case the issue comes up again.
We haven't been dating for very long, about a month and a half, so I knew that there would/will be some issues for us to work out in the long run. One of these issues that has repeteadly come up is that she says I'm not affectionate enough with her. Her two biggesy concerns are that I'm not affectionate enough with her in public, and that I don't pay enough attention to her at work (we're coworkers as well).
Last night it came to ahead when she sent me a text last night asking me if I could be "cuter" when texting her. She said that she does so and would be nice if I could reciprocate. Usually when something like this comes up I try to compromise. I work early mornings all 7 days a week for a aide job, but still do my best to go out with her most nights when she asks, I do the cute activities she sets up for us to do at home in private, and I let her take pictures of us to post on social media even though I'd rather keep that private.
I finally had enough with her bugging about it and said "[Girlfriend], I'm just not a cutesy guy. It's not something I feel comfortable doing and it isn't me. I'd be faking it and I respect you too much to act fake."
She replied "and i get that you're not cutesy, but i am. and idk i just feel like if it's something that makes me happy then you'd want to do it for me. little things like that matter to me"
That part bugged me a bit. I've given her a lot of ground and compromised on other little things like I stated above, and seeing that just made it seem like she was unappreciative. It also seemed like she was trying to make me feel guilty. So I replied:
"And I feel like that if I tell you something makes me uncomfortable you wouldn't try to guilt me into doing it. I understand it that this is important to you, but being able to move at my own pace and stay true to myself is also important to me."
I feel like I don't have the time or energy to put on a charade and pretend to be something I'm not. Especially if in the future I stop acting like that (because that will never be the kind of person I am) and we discover that after being in a LTR she's fallen for the person I was pretending to be and not the actual me. It just sounds exhausting.
Anyway, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jbRoauFnhJbffS4qN3dAb70ipVPGGgeQ
|
ah1cj3
|
{
"description": "leaving a dude with no where to stay",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving a dude with no where to stay?
|
(When I say local I mean not an overseas traveler)
Long story short I work at a hostel and had to call the police on a drunk local (A) (who was a guest) and they took him away to the drunk tank. He has a friend (B) here too who was better behaved than his friend, but still a straight up nuisance. I told B he was allowed to stay for the night but chances of him being able to stay for any longer were slim as while not a major asshole himself, still has attachment A, who frankly I never want to see again in my life. He ended up giving me a sad sap story about how they had no where else to go and that he had no money. B was a genuinely nice person but super drunk and as I work by myself (night shift) I am not taking the chance.
​
The thing is is I can probably spin the story to my boss to allow B to still stay here somehow and do feel sorry imagining him basically homeless in a foreign city with no money, but at the same time I feel it's a make your bed and sleep in it type situation. What do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
R6DRX75BB1wUqCVXjmPFD72YtkwhzW0z
|
b6cm34
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take care of a dog",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take care of a dog?
|
Before anything, I do like animals, but I do not love them as some people do. I've had many family pets growing up, but would never be able to say I cried when any of them passed away. I just don't get emotionally attached to animals.
With that said here's how the dog came into our lives: Ex-wife adopted a dog shortly after our divorce. I was HIGHLY against it. She had previously adopted a cat that she couldn't take care of, so I told her this was an even worse idea. She then adopted an 85 pound American Bulldog and Pitbull mix.
Fast forward about six months, and she is saying she's getting rid of the dog. I didn't care, and I told her it didn't matter to me. She then asked if I'd take him, because she doesn't want him put down. He's a six year old, huge dog that barks all day. I still said no. I had no means to take care of him. So she called my dad, who I live with. He can't say no to anything related with animals, and so now the dog lives here. I told my dad that I wanted nothing to do with the dog, and it's 100% his responsibility. Of course that didn't happen. At least three times a week, my dad will leave for the entire day, and ask me to go home on my lunch break to take the dog outside, or if I'm not working, to take him on walks. The answer is always no. I am usually gone on my days off, and not revolving my days around a dog I did not want. Recently, it's escalated to my dad being home and asking me to take the dog out because he's too tired to do so, or to give the dog a bath in my shower because I have a better shower head. He's also a huge germophobe, so he will leave shit in the yard, and ask me to pick it up for him. This last one is what lead to me telling my dad that if he can't take care of the dog, he needs to suck it up and get rid of it. My dad said I'm just an asshole and should help take care of the dog because he's a good boy. This last week, I've done absolutely zero to help, and my dad is now pissed that he has to do this all himself, and says I'm an asshole. So AITA?
TLDR: Dad took in my ex wife's dog, and I don't want to help him care for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
RTfLj512jvAIIIebHGKE758xW7ohXILh
|
ahpjbj
|
{
"description": "always requesting the front seat",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for always requesting the front seat?
|
For context, I'm 6'3" (190.5 cm) and I'm pretty sure no one else in our friend group is above 6'0" (182.88 cm), if that. It can be really uncomfortable to sit in the back seat when there's five of us in the car, so I try to get the front seat when I can, knowing the back seat isn't really inconveniencing anyone given their heights. I actually don't even ask every time, just try and naturally drift over to it if I can. I just feel like a jerk for taking it constantly, since ideally we all rotate fairly. I know I'm not a *raging* asshole even if I am in the wrong, but I'm still concerned about screwing the guys over in our seat rotations. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
4ohZFYOKaX8WKqcy6xKZyZlhpHgEJwR1
|
b9vgul
|
{
"description": "refusing to clean due to ants",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to clean due to ants
|
Okay so recently my husband and I moved in with our father in law. They both work 12 hour days most days of the week. I currently do not work due to being newly moved, not driving, and living in the middle of nowhere.
All day long I do chores to keep the house clean and nice. Except on their days off.
The issue is that on their days off they cook these crazy big meals or bake a ton of treats all day and just leave the house a mess.
As I say I'm fine with dishes but there us a bigger issue at hand here. We have sugar ants. We have put out ant traps but like clockwork the morning after their days off I wake up to dozens of ants scuttling across counter tops and over cutting boards and into bowls.
I've already raised the issue of the need to clean up after their huge messes in regards to the ants twice. Today I wake up and it's the antpocolypse again.
Now I get that I don't work. I get that I should therefore take care of the house. But I barely make any dishes or mess at all when I cook and these two are a solid hour of cleaning with their meals. And I'd cope with that if it weren't for the ants.
So today I told my husband that I'm not pest control and they need to deal with it or I won't clean anything that isn't my mess anymore. I hate bugs in the kitchen and letting it get that way is unacceptable.
I'm worried that he's gonna come back saying it isn't fair because I don't work and they have long shifts but honestly I'm not gonna live with an ant issue that no one else wants to prevent.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
n04QqJpVmGRZHiAqMd1gNAcvAJSjhmzD
|
a90952
|
{
"description": "not wanting to deal with my mom's anxiety",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to deal with my mom's anxiety?
|
So I have to start this off by admitting I'm a pretty emotionally vacant person. Sometimes when friends tell me their problems I will say off the bat 'Look I love you, but I'm not sure I can be there emotional rock you need in this situation.' I'm like a drama no fly zone.
My mom is a tremendously emotional person with a flair for the dramatic. She's also been diagnosed with anxiety disorder. A few weeks ago we had to call the police to make a mental health arrest because she was screaming hysterically about her husband that died three years ago. While she was in the hospital she kept saying she wanted to kill herself. I talked to her for an hour about how important she is to me, our family. How impactful her life was to others. Still, she kept saying her life wasn't worth living. I notified my chain of command (in the army btw). I was ready to take emergency leave from work to support her in court. Then my sister calls me and tells me she was drunk the entire time. She 'snapped out of it' and didn't remember anything that happen. Ok fine, we wrote it off as a drunken rage. She promised not to do it again.
She did it again not even a week later. She calls me, asks me how my day is and says in this childish voice 'I don't want to live anymore'. We go through the same thing. An hour passes, I tell her how important she is to so many people, and how valuable life is. I go through all of this just for her to say 'thats alright, I still don't want to live anymore' and she hangs up. I was livid. I called her the next day to tell her that she needed to stop drinking and to see a psychiatrist. She promised to do both. As of my writing this post, she has not.
Today, she starts questioning me about whether or not America is safe. Whether or not we would go to war with Russia. Literally the weirdest, most random possible shit. She says 'if you tell me right now America is safe I will be fine with that'. I tell her the truth. I don't know. It's not really my job to think about things like that. I'm not a big picture policy person, I literally fix computers and go home. She gets upset and says 'Well, that's fine, I guess I'll just go to sleep knowing we could be nuked tomorrow'. And she hangs up. Every conversation now is about some possible crisis where I end up dead or she ends up dead or the world ends up dead. Everything is a possible catastrophe.
This is becoming exasperating. Between the drinking, the suicidal ideations, and the 'holy shit the world is ending' call I get every day, I just can't do it anymore. I love my mom, I'm trying to support her the best I can. I call her as often as I can to reassure her and support her. But it is also coming to a point where it is becoming stressful for me. She is giving me this feeling of being helpless and I hate that. I find my job performance suffering at work because my mind wanders to what I would do if my mom decides to kill herself. I'm doing everything I can to support her from across the country but there are some days where I just want to tell her not to call me anymore unless she gets some help which makes me feel like an asshole. But I also know that this isn't about me.
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
nYyIi0vh6ONKoBM917AqUgaIv8mv2mxK
|
b11mg4
|
{
"description": "referring to a person with a male name and masculine profile picture as \"him\" and for \"talking over\" them",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for referring to a person with a male name and masculine profile picture as “him” and for "talking over" them?
|
The post was about the ban of single-use plastics, specifically straws. **SISTER** is against this because it’s “ableist” to disabled “folx” and we should instead focus on the “100 companies responsible for 71% of global emissions”. Debate ensues between **OP**, **SISTER**, Disabled Folx X (**DFX**), & others. We discussed ocean pollution, eco-friendly alternatives, boycotting the fishing industry, and how the #1 “company” responsible for over 14% of global emissions is actually China, specifically Chinese coal. Which of course is used to manufacturer cheap goods (cough, like single-use plastic drinking straws, cough) & heating people’s homes.
It was more of an emotional discussion rather than intelligent. **SISTER** & **DFX** told everyone to “stay in your lane” and to stop “talking over them”.
**OP:** (the fishing industry contributes to poverty alleviation & food security for millions of people, or similar).
**SISTER:** You talked over my friend (referring to **DFX**)
**OP:** I didn’t talk over him.
**SISTER**: I know you don’t know them but you did misgender them, just to give you a heads up. They/them pronouns.
**OP:** (goes back and edits post to “I didn’t talk over them”)
**DFX** has a very traditional male gender name & has a masculine profile picture. I corrected myself once I was made aware of the issue and moved on with the conversation.
Because **DFX** was complaining about alternatives, I reached out to a local company by me who makes compostable straws from plant materials. I contacted them to ensure that they could be used in hot beverages (yes) and if they could make a positionable straw (Yes). Awesome! So I posted the company’s response in the conversation.
**SISTER** immediately deletes the entire post, unfriends me, & posts the following public status.
>
If you are ableist, if you misgender someone and then purposefully do not fix your pronouns, if you are anti-LGBTQA+, if you are racist, if you are sexist...
>
>My timeline is not for you. My posts are not for you. And my timeline will not be a platform for you to promote hatred, inequality, inaccessibility, and ignorance.
>
>Discussions of opposing viewpoints are always warranted. But continuously denying marginalized folx their voice and talking over them is not.
WTF. I sent **SISTER** a PM.
**OP:** Such outrage! I called someone named FUCKING (male name) a “him”. I didn’t fucking misgender on purpose AND I changed it to THEY when I was corrected.
**SISTER:** When you knew you misgendered them you should have fixed it & apologized because that is damaging. They have their pronouns visible on their profile to the public for those who need them. And they ducked out of the conversation due to the mental harm it was causing them before you misgendered them.
**OP:** Like I fucking read everyone’s profile who I interact with on Facebook.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
bm3EHudtGSWxzoevHIVtbt2srBGHgL51
|
avrkos
|
{
"description": "going to get into trouble because of one word",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA, I am going to get into trouble because of one word.
|
So, yesterday me and two of my friends went down to the astro pitch in my school and some primary(elementary) kids started to annoy us so we told them to go away, a few minutes later i am casually talking to my friend and he says something dumb and i say 'mother fucker' little do i know that a primary kid was in-front of me and i didn't notice so he says he is gonna tell on me, he goes away but i don't he him coming to me with a teacher so i brush it off.
next thing i know today i go back down to the pitch and start hanging out with friends, at the end of lunch this kid and a teacher walks up to me and he points straight at me, the teacher then says 'this child told me you said a rude word towards him, his parents came in to see me today, could you please tell me you're name and form class' i oblige because i don't want to aggravate the teacher, but i might get into big trouble because of how far the kid is pushing the issue, which in my opinion is a small one.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QRARhiVRtnH9ubllITFNGpqpN2S5Lbtz
|
ajetkz
|
{
"description": "wanting to press breaking and entering charges against my Ex-Girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to press breaking and entering charges against my Ex-Girlfriend?
|
*Context*
This is actually my friends story and I am transcribing it for him as he does not wish to make a Reddit account. He has given me his full permission to post this. As such, this will be from my friends perspective, not mine.
*The Story*
So I recently broke things off with my girlfriend of 8 months as she has always talked down to me and made me feel like shit. The final straw was when I found out that she was a letting guys into our apartment and fucking other guys in my bed. We had a huge argument and she left to her parents and I started gathering her remaining stuff and packing it up so that she can pick it up as soon as possible. After 2 days, I had to go back to my shitty gas station job and joy upon joy, I have to work 3 doubles this week. For those of you that don’t know, a double at my job means that you come in at opening (6:30) and stay until graveyard starts (12:00). So my schedule was as follows: Single, Double, Double, Single, Double, Off, Off. The reason that this matters is, I had wanted to change my locks as I knew that my ex is very petty and may try to come in while I wasn’t home. Prior to learning my schedule, I had every intention of going Saturday, which is my first day off. However, I knew that I was going to be very tired and decided I would get it done on Sunday. That turned out to be a very bad choice as on Friday night(Or technically Saturday morning) after my last Double for the week, I got home at 12:30 and drifted off at around 1:00. I am a medium sleeper, I don’t wake up over everything, but I don’t sleep through anything either. So after my long shift, I felt something get into my bed. At first I was so tired, I had assumed it was my dog, then I remembered that my apartment doesn’t allow pets and I had to put him up for adoption when I moved in. So I jumped up and found that at 2 fucking 45 in the morning, my cheating, manipulative ex-girlfriend had used her key to get into my apartment and tried to sleep in my bed.
*Dialogue Upcoming, This Is The Format*
Me-Me
Ex-Girlfriend- XGF
Me: “What the fuck?!? Why are you here?!”
XGF: “I know you still love me! We WILL make this work! Now let’s go to sleep!”
Me: “Get out and take your shit or I’m calling the cops!”
XGF: Fine! Fuck you!
*Dialogue Over*
*Resume Story*
So I finally go back to sleep after smoking a few cigarettes and recounting the events of the last week. I awake around 9:30 am to multiple voicemails from my GF and her mom saying how I had no right to act so childish and how I should just take her back. I told both of them that if they don’t leave me alone, I will pursue breaking and entering charges. They have both been harassing me nonstop for the last week, as well as her friends telling me to get over myself and take her back.
So to conclude, Am I The Asshole for wanting to press charges on my manipulative, cheating Ex-Girlfriend for coming into my house while I slept after we broke up. Also, in case it matters, her name is not on the lease, just mine.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2gZCYkH3zM2uxljYgHPrOTW2h9UjFtgY
|
9x5v7r
|
{
"description": "laughing at my friend for not knowing how to equip a misc quest in Skyrim",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for laughing at my friend for not knowing how to equip a misc quest in Skyrim?
|
Alright so some context. This story involves Skyrim. If any of you have played this game you know how the questing system works. So I introduced my friend of three years to Skyrim and he loved it. By the time this happened he had already played more than me. So he was playing and he just said "wait what?! You can equip misc quests?" I though it was funny he didnt known that you could do that so I laughed. His friend was like "mate dont be a cunt" I told him I'm not a cunt. Keep in kind we are in highschool, we have been friends for three years and were guys. I told him it's just what guys do. He said no it's not. AITA?
Sorry for any grammar or spelling because I'm on mobile and because of that I left out some details I will add later when I have access to my computer again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yUsTr3kEmcGnuEkd9tZMPl0uW08HblE3
|
ay0q7h
|
{
"description": "not giving my husband's ashes to his relatives that want some",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not giving my husband’s ashes to his relatives that want some?
|
Reading the other post about a husband passing away and his wishes made me want to bring my situation here to get opinions.
My husband passed away in January.
He made it clear to everyone years before he died that when he died he wanted to be cremated and his ashes scattered in the ocean.
During his decline in the hospital, and afterwards his ex wife, adult children and many other family members came to me and ‘reminded’ me that he wished to be cremated and his ashes scattered.
Now two of those people who knew of his wishes want some of his ashes. His sister and his just barely adult daughter. Those two have told me directly, I’ve heard that there are several others that also want some of his ashes.
His sister wants to plant a tree with some of his ashes, his daughter hasn’t told me any specific plans as to what she plans to do with his ashes.
At first I was okay with their wishes but I’m not any longer. Those were not his wishes and he was very specific as to what he wanted to happen to his remains.
I want to take the ashes and scatter them at sea alone, I don’t want a ton of people there and I don’t want to give his ashes away.
Would I be the asshole if I scattered his ashes without mentioning it to his family and without giving them any?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
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