id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
VdbWfjigz92TqGzUMs3hk64nYZMU7GvP
|
abb9a6
|
{
"description": "freaking out when my best friend brought my ex around without my consent",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for freaking out when my best friend brought my ex around without my consent?
|
TL:DR below
Okay this is a complicated story so stay with me. I (31F) dated a guy, let’s call him J (26M). We dated for two years and had a horrible relationship. Don’t get me wrong, we had our good times. But he was basically verbally and emotionally abusing me. He was the king of gaslighting. He would call me a piece of shit. One time he looked at me dead in the face and said “I fucking hate you. Everyone hates you”. It was hurtful. I would drink, it would make things worse. I’d say things that were hurtful to him when I was drunk. We basically ended up abusing each other.
Taking a step back, I’ve been dealing with mental illness my whole life. I had a rough childhood and have been in therapy/on medication/in and out of hospitalization programs since I was a kid. I was finally diagnosed bipolar in my late 20s and here we are (I’m 31 now). So I know my reactions to things can sometimes be emotionally driven.... after J and I broke up in April I had a complete mental break down. I became paranoid that he was coming to hurt me. I thought I was going to die. It was bad. My mother admitted me into a partial hospitalization program (basically a day program where you go through intense psychotherapy every day). I was in the program for 8 weeks. Things got better. I moved home, we separated completely (blocked on social media, no contact, blocked number, etc)
Flash forward to last Saturday. I was having a rough day so I was talking to my best friend of 16 years, let’s call her M. I asked if M wanted to hang out and she said she was going to a concert with some ppl but J might be there so I wouldn’t be able to go. She actually phrased it as “I know this is going to fuck you up mentally but I really want to go”. Okay, fine. “Have fun with J” I say. I was hurt, it prob wasn’t the best thing to say but I said it out of hurt. She flips. “How dare you talk to me that way” she says “I have cancelled plans with J and friends countless times to hang out with you”. “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re right, I didn’t know that. Have fun at the show. I’m going out with some friends to our local bar. Done”. Done. It was done.
Later that night, I was at our local bar with some friends and she texts me. Says “are you still at the bar, shows over, I wanna stop by”. I say “yeah, cool, come on by”. She gets there, I’m deep in convo with someone so when she says “come to the bathroom with me” I shrug her off. She comes back from the bathroom, sits next to me and blurts out “J is on his way”. I think “shit I have to get out of here.” I grab my stuff and head outside. I proceed to have an earth shattering panic attack. My friend from earlier comes outside. I’m panicked. I immediately revert to that paranoia. He’s coming to kill me, he’s gonna hurt me. My friend goes inside and closes my tab for me, I couldn’t go back in there. M comes out and tbh I don’t remember what was said cause emotions were so high and we had all been drinking but I remember it not being helpful. Definitely didn’t end in an “I’m sorry let’s hug and make up”.
The next day I went for an emergency psych evaluation and got treatment. I start another program on Friday and seeing a therapist in the mean time. So I understand that I had an emotional and psychological reaction to things and am actively taking steps to fix that.
I haven’t spoken to M since then, I haven’t spoken directly to J since we broke up. (When we broke up it was so volatile that M INSISTED J and I speak through HER, which is a whole diff story of fucked up ness).
It’s a very complicated and nuanced situation so I’ll prob have to edit to add more details as questions arise.
TL;DR I guess my question here is; AITA for being upset that my best friend hangs out with my abusive ex? And more so, AITA for flipping shit when she tried to bring him around me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EnoTqppB9pinFAhmSjx7mEASRWHYRvsl
|
aiffvr
|
{
"description": "braking up with my bf",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for braking up with my bf?
|
Am i the asshole for braking up with my bf?
Where to start? We met 3 years ago and quickly became a cupel. I was, and still am, struggling with anxiety and depression and he knew from the start. Stil he didn’t do anything to make my life easier. If I started crying I was a drama queen, and if I asked him to stop doing something, like stop swearing, he accused me of trying to censor him in his one house.
When I was better at him in something he would also get angry. Like if I got a better grade than him he would say I didn’t deserve it, and that he worked so much harder than me.
Now I have low self esteem. And he often had me on the edge. Braking up whit me and than taking me back whit-in hours.
When he found out I had started to think about leaving he said he would kill him self if we broke up. That terrified me and so every time I went to stay with my mom I quickly returned in fear of him having hurt himself.
Then he told me he was transsexual. He wanted to become a woman.
A had known him for years and know this...
The following months he became more and more unstable, and I urged him to get help. To talk to someone professional. But even though he eventually did, I was still being his therapist at home.
Having my one problems it all became to much. And whit a lot of help I was able to move home.
We cut all contact for a few months and when I talked to him again it came out that he had attempted suicide four times. We had contact for a while after that. Trying to find out if we could save it. But after several nights of him pressuring me in bed it became to uncomfortable. I left once again.
Know I feel awful. Like I have let him down. He is going through, not only working through the memories of a difficult childhood. But also working his way towards a sex change.
Its all just to much.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zxykpVzsV1FFbVwPJhXsXh4tFu49XD9q
|
b0o2a5
|
{
"description": "combining my anniversary trip with my brothers birthday trip",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for combining my anniversary trip with my brothers birthday trip?
|
The title is a lot less detail oriented so hear me out.
My wife and I will have been married 5 years this summer and it falls on the 26th of the month. My brothers birthday is on the 1st of the following month and he is turning 30. His wife wants to do a surprise trip for him with my wife and I and my sister and her husband. My SIL knows that my anniversary is a few days before and is totally trying to compromise so the trip works out well as an anniversary trip as well. The plan is for my wife and I to pick the destination, go there and spend a few days alone together, then my siblings will come down the following weekend to finish off the trip.
My wife is saying how she feels like our anniversary is unimportant to me and the trip is all about my brother and his birthday. Which it will be, for 3 days at the end. The rest of the time we'll be alone enjoying our anniversary. She's making planning it very difficult because she keeps saying how I'm putting everyone else before her which isn't the truth. I'd understand if we weren't choosing the destination and having alone time, but the fact is that her and I are picking where we all go, and we'll be alone for a good amount of time before everyone else comes.
Now for the fun part. My wife's mother apparently booked a timeshare in the Caribbean for the week of our anniversary for the entire family and invited us along. My wife jumped at the opportunity about how much fun it would be, and I told her that hurts my feelings. She's willing to go spend the entire week with her family, but somehow the idea of spending a few days AFTER our anniversary with my family is somehow making her feel unimportant? I told her we can split the time between the spot with her family and then jump to wherever my family goes, but she wasn't having that either. She's unwilling to compromise.
I got very frustrated and told her she can feel free to go with her family, but I'm not going and she can stay home while I go for my brothers birthday party weekend. AITA for trying to combine the trip with my brothers birthday party and making my wife feel unimportant?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
hV7QVROZBGWYBwFVl05n7Fw60ekjnHhn
|
au1mms
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give my nephews front line seats for a music festival ill be preforming at",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give my nephews front line seats for a music festival ill be preforming at?
|
AITA for not wanting my little nephews (11, 7 and 5 year olds who are pretty bratty and lack all sense of self control) to have the front seats to a smallish music festival where I will be presenting as a solo act for the first time? I have 2 sets of tickets, some on the front and some further back and I wanted to arrange my nephews in the back one so they wouldn't disrupt the show in case they started shouting or crying. Now my dad is mad and calling me selfish for not wanting my Father side of the family at the front even though the other choice is close friends and maternal side (maternal side of the family who I rarely see).
I thank you in advance for any advice and Im sorry for my awkward grammar, English is not my first language.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Sf7kXk14UPJcVLfhb97BVElDYW555wqh
|
b9ddmm
|
{
"description": "telling my husband that his siblings only call for money",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my husband that his siblings only call for money?
|
Don’t get me wrong, his siblings are great when they’re not trying to mooch off of us. Frankly, none of them have their shit together except one. They’re all 20-30. 3/4 of them have 1-4 kids. One of them was recently homeless, one quit his job, one refuses to try to get a job, and the other one has a job and a kid but never asks us for money. They all also have a boyfriend or girlfriend that they live with.
His siblings call almost every day. I can say that his brother who quit his job is the only one that calls to actually talk. But even then he’ll imply how he’s struggling with money or he’s stressed about it. And of course my husband will offer money to him. $25 or more every single time we give them money.
His sister was recently homeless. She asks for money from us the most. She was living in his brothers house for like two months because she her and her husband would keep spending the money that everyone gave them. We’ve had to give them hundreds before. She’ll call him and make small talk and then ask for money. Or she’ll butter him up and say something like “by the way if you want to send me $20 I’d appreciate it” at the end of the call.
His other brother calls only for money and my husband knows that. He doesn’t fake like he wants to talk and he’ll straight out ask for money. We don’t even answer his calls sometimes.
Yesterday, his brother and sister both called asking for money. They both actually talked to him for a long time so I thought they really weren’t going to ask for money. But no, they did near the end of the call. It pissed me off. Now my husband is asking me is it okay if we send them $50 each. I told him I’m really not okay with that. Then he started telling me the sob story they told him on the phone. It sounds like complete bullshit. I tell him I’ll be fine with you sending them some money but not $50 each. We just sent them $25 yesterday.
He tried to convince me to be okay with giving away $100 for some bullshit excuse. It’s always diapers, food, clothes, etc. I offer to get it delivered to their house the same day and they make another excuse as to why they’ll just do it. I told him that I’m tired of having to give away money almost every single day. He says it isn’t every day. It’s probably more like every other day but overall we give about $300 a month to them collectively. I told him that we can give them $25 each and then we’re done. I said “They only call you for money and it’s petty as fuck”. He looked kind of hurt by what I said but if he’s hurt then doesn’t that mean he thinks so too? Idk.
We go back and forth about this almost every day because it never stops.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
su81EfGlMLCSEfrKhNRXWd6z5GUltLZX
|
b9jga4
|
{
"description": "thinking about my own mental health over my boyfriend's disease",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for thinking about my own mental health over my boyfriend’s disease?
|
My boyfriend has been diagnosed with TB last month. He’s supposed to take around seven medicines every day which leaves him dizzy and numb headed. He also have several headaches, body itches, and chest pain.
Ever since the start of the relationship, I’ve been too caring. I wouldn’t sleep till he’s home, and now I’ve notched it up. I have alarms for all his medicines, and make sure i sleep after he’s sleep as the medication also tends to make him overthink and confused.
For the past week, I’ve been getting three to four hours of sleep. His job timings are 3pm to 3am (remote CS job) while mine are usual 8am to 3pm. And today i feel as if I’m losing it. I’ve a history of PTSD.
WIBTA for toning it all down a bit?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
c7FVrIGzDSVV6zqFpjAGSmKr00gUBqIC
|
b4u71l
|
{
"description": "teasing my gf in an online chat that she's rich",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for teasing my (29M) gf (34F) in an online chat that she’s rich?
|
We’ve been dating for 3 months. She’s an accomplished academician and was born very wealthy. I am an entrepreneur who is doing alright and looking to grow my business. She’s based in North America and I am based in Asia. A long distance relationship.
In the course of a casual late night chat over text, I was posed a question of, what would I do if I’m rich. I responded that my immediate blood family comes first, I will like to provide a comfortable life for my parents. I then said that I would love to enjoy the luxury of traveling and eating well.
She asked , “what about me?”. My immediate response in verbatim was, “you? You have plenty of money you don’t need any money from me.” This was immediately followed up with a serious response, “ if I can afford to, I’ll love to fly to visit you more often.”
She is very upset and unable to get over the fact I ‘joked’ about her not needing money. This is despite my reassurances that that was not the crux of the message and it was intended as a light hearted jab to her family and personal background. In the course of our relationship, I have never once let her wealthy background or personal finances come between us. I am generous by nature and offer to pay for all dates and outings and she does acknowledge and offer to split every time.
I apologized for getting her upset. She accepted my apology but is insistent that I should not have said that she’s rich and doesn’t need my money. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
kWd3kemz8ohOVeDC67TUgIkcawbINCyL
|
aipuwe
|
{
"description": "shagging someone I know boyfriend doesn't approve of",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for shagging someone I know boyfriend doesn't approve of?
|
Ok first up we are non-monogamous, so shagging other people is legit and above board.
My (M37) boyfriend (M36) has a new relationship with this guy who lives 4 hours away. I don't like the new guy tbh, he gives me the creeps, and I think he takes advantage of my bf. But anyway my bf likes him so I guess I just have to deal with it. I don't like it but I wouldn't ask him to stop seeing him (they're in love and in that new relationship stage).
So while he was away visiting the new guy and I was feeling lonely and sad I thought I'd try to take my mind off the situation by having a hook up with a guy I've seen once before. I know my bf isn't a massive fan of him, but I figured I'm a big boy and can take care of myself and I'd quite like a no strings hook up with a hot guy so I went for it. It was nice and we talked about hey maybe we should make this a regular thing. Told my boyfriend afterwards that we hooked up and he got really upset and it turns out apparently he really HATES this guy.
So now I feel bad about upsetting him. Tbh I could try to find someone else to hook up with in future that doesn't piss him off. But yknow his other partner pisses me off, and I don't wanna be sat at home like feeling lonely while he carries on dating a guy that I don't approve of. What I do not want is for resentment to start to build up. So I kinda want to keep seeing my new fwb because otherwise I'm just gonna become resentful of my partner's other relationship and that would not be healthy.
(Just to clarify this is not a pure jealousy thing, we each have other partners who the other is perfectly happy with. It's about having a specific problem with somebody based on 'red flags' or whatever.)
AITA for wanting to keep hooking up with this guy even though my partner hates him??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
E1SMvqy0ooqvHoWcrW5FRuwQyi7g2JiG
|
azts05
|
{
"description": "talking to a guy who haved match with me on Tinder one year ago and told to my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For talking to a guy who haved match with me on Tinder one year ago and told to my boyfriend?
|
So I have been with my boyfriend for the past year and before I meet him I have been on tinder and I stoped it because of bad experience. So I have on my different form of social media many guys who are from my tinder. Yesterday I talked to a guy who was to a famous party and I asked him how it was and we ended up chatting all day ! But please don’t get me wrong! Nothing of flirt we talked about weed and music and Argentina (because he has visited it and I’m from there) and that all ! We even say‘ that we will not meet up ! So I told this to my boyfriend today and he got really upset to the point he said “well I will go on tinder too and find some friends for me too and we will see if you like it !” And honestly it sure upset me but like ... I don’t try to justify myself it’s just a talk we’ve matched and we talked but we have never see each other in real life so obviously we have never hooked up together and will not because honestly I love my boyfriend with all my heart and normally I’m the one jealous and he is not, so it make me think that I’m the one in the wrong. All my ex cheated on me and I understand the position of being cheated! And I don’t want my boyfriend to be in this position and nobody else too ! It’s super hurtful ! So it’s not even considered ! And I’ve told him because If I don’t it will be like a secret no ? Please tell me if I am wrong or if he’s overreacting
And I forgot to say ! He had a lot of friends who were sexfriend and he keep to talking to them but again not in a flirty way (sometimes sexual meme but it’s just because now they are just friends) and I never been scared of this girls because I see how they replied to him and it’s only friendship!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
61ObsZj17kB8L2u3Utm9DEs8VtJ3VmNe
|
b2ia0s
|
{
"description": "sending back my restaurant order because they lost my wife's",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA to send back my restaurant order because they lost my wife's?
|
I absolutely hate it when at restaurants food comes out at different times. It ends up with 1 person sitting waiting to eat and the other one saying awkwardly, "please, get started." A lot of people just straight up won't eat until everyone has a dish.
My wife also has horrible luck at restaurants. For some reason, her order frequently gets lost and we've ended up in these situations where I get my dish 10-15 minutes before hers. In this situation, where we've been waiting a long time for her dish, WIBTA to send my plate back and say to bring them out together?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
q5zm4xW0vtl96iIr3SZn46yxfh70jJQG
|
apdt6a
|
{
"description": "not transferring my havasu tickets",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't transfer my Havasu tickets?
|
My girlfriend, let's call her Alice, originally came to me with the idea of traveling to Havasu waterfall this year. It's on her bucket list of places to go to and she missed out on doing it last year. I'm a fairly outdoorsy person and it looks pretty cool so she's totally convinced me and I'm totally down to do this. Alice is a planner and does all the research for when the best times are. We talked about it together after the research and decide on a couple of possible time slots. The day that tickets open up, we both wake up at 7 am and proceed to click refresh for around an hour get into the website to buy the tickets. Finally, I manage to get in after 50 minutes of clicking the page and buy a reservation for 2 for a time slot we picked under my name. This means I have to be there to claim the tickets the day of. Keep in mind, these are really hard to get and were completely sold out for the year by the end of the first day.
​
We were talking in the car yesterday and I made a joke that even if we broke up, the tickets are in my name and I'd keep them. She says in that case, I should transfer them to her (which is totally possible via the website and of course she would pay me full price of the tickets). She thinks she should get the tickets since it was her original idea to go and she did all the research for the best times. I think I get to keep the tickets since I'm also excited to go now, spent the time to acquire them and it's under my name. We both read this subreddit so we decided to let reddit users vote on who is in the "right". So in this scenario, WIBTA if I didn't give transfer her the tickets in that scenario?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
AuoEobkwMdQM3wh6Bxixryv3wHCSCNX7
|
ajezni
|
{
"description": "moving to my wife's hometown instead of back home to mine",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving to my wife's hometown instead of back home to mine?
|
AITA? Background, I (M27) have lived about an hour and half drive away from hometown since I started college (8 years). I've gotten the guilt trips from my mom all the time to come home and visit more and call more even though she makes no effort to call me. I got married 2 years ago and my wife and I have been saving for a down payment but the city we're living in now has a much higher cost of living than the suburbs around my parents or the towns around her parents. When we have kids both sets of parents have offered child care but my wife's parents are retired and already care for grandkids of my brother in laws. My mom is retired but my dad works from home so literally could not have children there. My parents house is also not ready for children, there is workout equipment that never gets used everywhere and whole bedrooms only dedicated to storage of junk. When I told them my mom broke down saying I wanted to take her grandkids (that she doesn't have yet) away from her and gave me every angry hurt "you hate me" "you think I'm a bad parent" quote in the book. Am I an asshole for wanting to move to the more ready supporting family for childcare while not cutting my parents out at all? AITA for not telling my parents straight that their place is a mess and not ready for kids?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JBOrXxrlsNvGWIydKdstyxrtmMFmZDkl
|
b1xw67
|
{
"description": "confronting my sister's mother-in-law for ruining my mural",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I confronted my sister's mother-in-law for ruining my mural?
|
My sister is high-risk pregnant and just moved houses. Her baby is due in a few days, so when she asked me to paint a mural on the nursery it was go-time. She wanted [mountains](https://i.imgur.com/XosK7eI.jpg) on one wall, and birch trees on another. Now, my sister's mother-in-law(SMIL) normally is the go-to artist in the family and I think this is why things went wrong.
My sister provided paint, but the top two blues were too close in color. I mixed them with white and a darker blue to get them to contrast a bit better. Every other range is base color. After 10 hours the project is done barring a streaky spot at the bottom that needs to be filled in-we had run out of paint. She had posted pictures of my work on facebook to help promote my budding business and I got a lot of nice feedback/inquiries.
SMIL also painted rainbows on my niece's wall, but had stated she didn't want attention, so she didn't get a FB post. She also left a somewhat bitter comment on mine, so my sister messaged her to tell her that they appreciated her work, and that my niece loves her wall. SMIL responds with how she was exhausted from the work, it took a lot out of her, it's unfair, and how she feels taken advantage of but does painting because she loves her family.
The next day my sister calls me up crying. It turns out SMIL was over to help with last minute things and had snuck upstairs with the paint. She filled in the streaky spot, then began "touching up" my mountain ranges--the range that I had mixed paint for, and used the paint straight out the can. When my sister caught her she flipped, and SMIL panicked and tried to wipe half-cured paint off the wall stripping it down to the raw white bottom, effectively ruining the piece.
Over-stepping boundaries has always been a problem with SMIL. I **don't** think she was trying to ruin my piece. I think she was trying to play the hero ("I fixed some mistakes Readylamefire made!") and get involved in something that didn't belong to her. The portion she was 'touching up' was a part I had gone over with a fine tooth comb because I knew there would be no second chances on it since mixing the exact color again would be near impossible. My sister demanded she leave but she ignored her, continuing to try and fix it. Now I have to go actually fix it.
Now, I have a right to be mad, but here's where I think I might be the asshole:
I want to send a firm worded letter to SMIL. She constantly does stuff like this. This was my first time doing something like this for my family, and I worked really hard. She had no right to start trying to alter the work I had done. It meant something to me. **However if I do send something to her, it'll trigger drama, and my very pregnant, stressed sister will undoubtedly be caught in the middle.** It's the one thing holding me back, and I'm leaning to being the bigger person/not saying anything to SMIL at all.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
IqlPRtjjVY20Ev5WKRT4HKbFHs7TDXdK
|
aiav0g
|
{
"description": "getting angry that my best friend and ex girlfriend might date",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting angry that my best friend and ex girlfriend might date
|
This is a long one, so stay with me. Also my first post, so be gentle!
Background: I met a girl (referred to as Jane) in my last few weeks of college. Jane and I talked for about a month and a half and really hit it off. However, I broke things off for personal reasons (I was the asshole here). About a month after that, Jane and I start talking as friends again, and a few weeks later decide to pick things up again. But, in the time that we were apart, she began talking to my best friend (referred to as John). John and I are both really good friends, and decided that no matter what had happened, we would still be friends on the other side. I told Jane that we would need to go slow to spare John's feelings (he is head over heels for her). It eventually comes out that John and Jane slept together, but her and I were not talking at the time so I am not mad at anybody, just upset that it happened. I didn't try to break up their friendship, because I think it is unhealthy to tell SOs who they can be friends with.
​
So fast forward a bit, Jane and I are together, but don't commit because I am still working through the fact that she slept with my best friend, plus John is mega depressed and I don't want to hurt him. Four months go by, and she is still hanging out with John and talking to him every day. We communicated pretty well, and she knew that I was still messed up by the whole situation. I decide that its best if we just continue as friends.
​
John and I agreed that if things ever went south between me and Jane, that he would stay away, because Jane and I had gotten fairly serious. But, the day after I broke things off, John drives a pretty long distance to go comfort her. They went back to college now and spent the first few days together. John messages me and tells me that he is going to try to be with Jane, only a week after we broke up. I told him it bothered me, and he said he knew it would. Meanwhile, Jane is calling me every night and telling me that she would never talk to John again if she could be my girlfriend. Yet she still hangs with John everyday. I never told John I was angry, but he tells me that he is angry at me because I don't want him and Jane to be together.
​
This past weekend, Jane asked me to come see her, things went south and we ended up sleeping together. That night she went and got drunk with John, not sure if anything happened. This whole situation is childish, and I don't want to be involved in it. The reasons I am upset are because 1.) I feel like John is preying on Jane while she is in a vulnerable state (she calls me crying frequently because of what happened between me and her) 2.) Jane is using John to get over me, and has basically admitted to that 3.) I feel betrayed by both of them.
​
So, AITA for being angry that my best friend immediately went after my ex girlfriend after our breakup, and that she is using him to get over me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
e6qRJaBHjtQOmCOTyA1PZaK9K91L6PMg
|
at9vm4
|
{
"description": "deliberately blocking a car while crossing the street",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for deliberately blocking a car while crossing the street?
|
I work in a crowded downtown district. Every day impatient motorists muscle their way into crosswalks while pedestrians are still crossing and come within a foot or less of hitting them while making a right turn. The traffic law where I am says you're supposed to yield to pedestrians in the crosswalk, regardless of if there's room for you to pass.
I don't care much if I'm all the way across the street and someone turns through the crosswalk anyway as long as they're not close to any pedestrians, but the other day I was walking back to the office from getting a sandwich, and as the light turns green I step into the crosswalk. This guy in a fancy Mercedes SUV is waiting to make a right turn but he has to wait for me to cross first. Meanwhile, across the street, a large group of pedestrians are coming towards us. He begins turning into the crosswalk while I'm still totally in front of him, and by the time I'm about to pass him, he's fully in the crosswalk about 2 feet away from me, with his car pointed at me. I can tell he's going to try to get through the crosswalk before the group of pedestrians coming the other way get to him, but if he does that he'll be driving through a gap in pedestrians that's only slightly wider than his car, basically getting really close to pedestrians in the crosswalk.
So instead of continuing walking, I just stop. Just long enough that the group of pedestrians approaching from the other direction are now in front of his car too, forcing him to come to a stop and yield as he's supposed to. At no point was his car even stopped to wait for me, he was inching forward the entire time, so when I stop walking he has to abruptly apply the brakes while partially in the crosswalk still. Once the pedestrians coming from the other direction are in front of his car I continue walking. He stares daggers at me the whole time.
Dick move or no?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
dY8FP5Glic9gROk0e4dOsJKaA93snUAp
|
amf4fw
|
{
"description": "wanting to kick my roommate out",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting to kick my roommate out?
|
So, I've been living with 2 friends as roommates... first mistake there, I know. One of them has been so frustrating to live with. My grandma owns the place so she rents it to us for 500 a month (pretty fucking good imo). That's only 170 a month and i'm really appreciative of this. The first battle that started, is how often his girlfriend is over. The agreement was 3 nights a week. My thinking was anything over that is half the month and thats not fair to not pay anything. That's for any guest, that way I wasnt singling her out, but i've known my friend for a long time and know how he is. So of course, here comes the first battle. She starts staying 4-5 nights a week. Months of endless battles about this. My grandma is the one renting it to us, so I felt it was her decision. I didn't feel like it was my place. It pissed her off as well, but all he would do is apologize, say he understands and would do something about it. It'd get better for a couple weeks, then rinse and repeat. I eventually just gave up. My grandma is just too caring and forgiving so I was like, whatever.... so now. The new problem that i've just been letting go one without saying anything. For that past 2 months I have refused to stop cleaning. The kitchen that is. I have been the only one to ever take the trash bags out to the bin. I also stopped buying groceries, so i dont use dishes. Take note, theres not a single time where his girlfriend has helped clean. So i got tired of cleaning up their shit. Other roommate doesnt want to clean for the same reason, doesn't buy grocies so doesn't use dishes. So now there's constantly so many dishes in the sink they're on the counter and like 5 trash bags in the floor. Just because you don't fucking "live" here i guess you cant make a mess. Huh? Well. My brother lives in a mold infested basement right now and is constantly sick so I want to kick my roommate out so my brother can move in... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
FsooyHMkkjY7Cp6DkMMCq9p70DCTKIts
|
b6xiaa
|
{
"description": "telling the girl my boyfriend cheated on me about me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for telling the girl my boyfriend cheated on me about me?
|
WIBTA if I told the girl my ex cheated on me with about me?
So I was with a guy for about 6 months, and it was going really great. We had a lot in common and similar goals and we saw each other every weekend and just generally things seemed to be going well. Unfortunately he said he lost feelings towards the end and was trying to find a good time to break up with me. He didn’t want it to do it before I went on spring break and then he wanted me to see his new house. So when I got back from spring break he had me over to his new house. Everything seemed fine we hung out and just did whatever, I stayed the night and we slept together. The next morning I woke up to a text from a phone under a pillow. It said good morning baby. My heart kind of sank and I went through his phone and found a lot of texts between him and a girl he was hiding under a coworkers name.
Once I saw enough to make sure I wasn’t seeing the wrong thing I woke him up. I told him I knew and I left. He saw me later that night so we could talk it about and have a real break up. He told me he didn’t want to hurt me and was planning on breaking up with me the next time I saw him, and that he never intended it to go this way. He lost feelings and met someone else, and from the texts I read it seemed like it had been going on awhile but he wouldn’t tell me how long. I’m guess around 3-4 weeks. I didn’t know who the girl was and then she popped up on my Twitter feed and not realizing who she was I followed her. That resulted in an immediate phone call about me poking around and I explain I wasn’t. We talked on the phone for two hours and I told him I knew I would get over this but right now we can be friends, and we again texted after and I told him I really can’t talk to him at all. He did kind of mention this girl was a “side piece” but I think he might’ve just told me that to help calm me down.
This morning I woke up and the girl had blocked me. I can only imagine he told her to and that I’m some crazy ex and just to block me. But the thing is if I was in her position I’d want to know, and I don’t want him back. Sure we had a great relationship when we did but he did have a lot of things I didn’t love about him and I could never be with someone who cheated on me.
I mean he didn’t break up with me the night he saw me and then he initiated sex. And the night when we had our break up we still kissed and hugged for a long time. So WIBTA if I tell her? Part of me says I would want to know if I was in her and place and part of me says bud out and just leave it alone.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CQ0qS9m0LBuVzs5ywpf5rhPUurXkJS9T
|
aydbu1
|
{
"description": "turning my brother in",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA? For turning my brother in.
|
My brother was wanted on a warrant for refusing to stay in rehab. (Hard drug abuse)
My father's father wasn't doing so hot so a bunch of my family decided to head down to Texas to visit. I stayed home and took care of my dogs and other things my brother spent a few nights here aswell.
I came home from work not long after it find my brother and a female who where rather naked fuckin' on my couch.
Now I get it hes been in rehab and blah blah but this just set a fire under my ass because I dont trust strangers very well, and I have a fuck ton of stuff worth a good bit that is easy to steal. (Drug addicts dont care who they still from even my brother sold a collectable of mine worth nearly $900 for a bag of weed).
Moving on we got into an argument and I told him that he can stay the night but he'd have to go back to his baby mother's house.
Later that night I get a call from my dad saying to check on him becuse he aparently took a bunch of pills and was trying to kill him self (spoiler alert: he didnt)
He then faked to be dead at the keybord until I tried to check his pulse (ice cold hands) and then followed the trick with slurred words and all that. So to actualy test him I called an ambulance and he was instantly sober and took off and ran into an officer down the block. He was arrested. Now my family is telling me I was to hard on him. Aparently they wanted him out for his daughter photo shoot. (His kid was in Texas to meet her great grandfather)
Am I the asshole? Should I have not done anything?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UnRw8kATwkQVvylK7bkPtJ5kWN6J9RwD
|
amqx29
|
{
"description": "telling my friend the only reason her twitch is more successful is because she is s girl? tl:DR",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling my friend the only reason her twitch is more successful is because she is s girl? TL:DR
|
If you don't know what twitch is it is a website where ppl broadcast themselves playing video games.
I've been streaming on twitch since 2014 first on my ps4 and about a month ago I built my own pc and started streaming on there so I could make it look better then it looks on the ps4. My reason for streaming on twitch has never been for money or to make a career of it. It been to meet ppl and talk to them about gaming. I also don't really care for the fact that people kind of make their living on Twitch by people's generosity and if your popularity kind of dies out then your livelihood kind of dies out as well. that's just me though.
I used to have a lot of friends who I would stay up late with and play video games with but as the years went on people grow up get jobs and become too busy. I am unemployed at the moment so I have a lot more time than my friends to play video games so I use twitch as a way to interact with people who have the same interest in video games as I do and kind of make gaming a little bit more interesting for me.
So one day I was watching twitch while in a party with a female friend of mine's and I was telling her how much a few girl streamers are making on the website and she was saying that since she is in college she wouldn't mind making some extra money on Twitch to help her with her College.
I told her that if she started streaming and had a camera that her streams are probably going to do well because girl gamers tend to do well on the website these days. So she gets her stream setup and she builds herself a computer and start streaming after a month she becomes a twitch affiliate and has already started to get donations subscribers and bits.
At first it doesn't bother me because I knew that it would play out like this but I think it started to bother me when she would suggest that we play games together to help both our twitch streams and we would play a game together and her chat with start to blow up with 15 20 30 I think the max being 50 people that I remember coming into her stream and chatting while no one came to mine even though we would put up a multi twitch so more people can watch both streams at once.
So after about a week of doing dual streams with her a pattern started where we would start streaming her chat with start to get Lively and me and her would stop talking because she was pretty much just communicating with her chat and I was pretty much just playing the game in silence the pattern ended with me saying that I wasn't really feeling that great and then I would leave because I was in a bad mood I didn't want to be rude to my friend and say something that would be mean because I was upset about her successful twitch Channel and she noticed this and asked me about it and I was honest with her and told her that I was a little jealous of her success on Twitch even though it didn't seem like she had put that much work and effort into her twitch stream as I had. And that it was in no way her fault I know it's just the way the website is and it's annoying.
At first she seemed to be understanding and agree feel bad about it but as we kept talking I pretty much said that it sucks because the only reason that your Twitch is blowing up so quickly is because you're a girl with a camera playing video games. And that's when she got really upset saying that people come to her streams because she's a good Entertainer and has a great personality. Which I told her I do believe but her being a girl with the camera is the first thing that people see when they're scrolling through Twitch and that is what causes them to click on her Channel at first.
So she was upset about this and we have not talked for about 2 weeks AITA for trying to be honest with my friend about what my problem was?
I did apologize because I didn't want to ruin my friendship over something that I knew was small in the grand scheme of things. But the situation still kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
TL:DR female friend start streaming years after me and is more successful even though less effort was put in. I am jealous and tell her about it honestly when she asked me about it. At first she's understanding then becomes upset when I say her success is because she's a girl.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
R1aIG5jGWjMcDITbM9VsVLVci4qUs16E
|
azr3rs
|
{
"description": "deleting people of Facebook because I'm sick of seeing posts about their babies",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for deleting people of Facebook because I'm sick of seeing posts about their babies?
|
My friends are definitely free to post whatever they want and I have never left a comment on their posts saying otherwise. But as the years go on, more and more people (from high school and old jobs) are starting families and every post they put up is about their children.
In my mind, I dont gaf if their baby had a 'poopspolsion' or went to the park or had a nap. I friended these people to follow their life, I didnt sign up for their dirty nappy pics or seeing nude photos of their bub in the sink. I really want to tell them that posts like that can attract creeps, but because everyone is super defensive about their baby posts, I just unfriend them to avoid an argument.
I told one of my mates and she said it was quite petty to unfriend them over something so silly and that I could've just unfollowed their posts to avoid drama.
But the thing is, I haven't talked to these people in years, so what is the point in keeping them around? Some of their lives just don't interest me anymore, so why should I have to 'unfollow' them to pretend like it does? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 20,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
qOHQv8uPiQUseuKcxZq8ryPXByNHrcGV
|
ak7c4m
|
{
"description": "telling a kid with ADHD to shut up since he was making noise",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a kid with ADHD to shut up since he was making noise?
|
Sorry for the clickbaity title, let me explain. We were taking midterms, and he kept on tapping his foot and singing to himself while everybody else was quiet. I told him to please be quiet the first time. He continued, and I told the teacher about it, then the teacher told him to be quiet. He continued to make noise, so I told him to sh He said that he didn't take his medicine prior to this incident so maybe that contributed to this, but he makes noise in class everyday anyways. So am I the a**hole for telling him to shut up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AVHTHvxcm4oP7ZCPhJSsj3ozTNMPemJb
|
9we30i
| null |
AITA? Girlfriend is pissed at me over a holiday she wants to go on
|
So my girlfriend is pissed at me over a holiday she wants to go on.
She has lived in many places throughout her life and one of those places she’d like to visit again. She has ties and friends there and knows the place well. I’m not all that keen on going to this place, it’s not somewhere I’ve ever wanted to visit and it’s really far away (way further than I’ve ever been before) and expensive to get to. We’re talking thousands of £/$
She has offered to cover the costs, which I still declined. I don’t like feeling like I owe anyone and I don’t want her to put up a load of money for somewhere I don’t want to be / may not enjoy.
She is upset that I have refused the offer and still do not want to go. She said she has offered me the opportunity for a great holiday at no cost and I don’t care enough to go.
I said to her that just because you have offered to pay for a trip for someone to go somewhere they don’t want to doesn’t mean they should accept it.
My position is that if I really want to go somewhere and she doesn’t then I would not be upset or think twice about it, I would go alone or with a friend and then go somewhere with my girlfriend that we both wanted to go, both would enjoy and both paid for. We both have to accept and respect each other’s likes and dislikes.
So AITA? She thinks so but I don’t really think I am…
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
t6GToBcibM8UHKzSFHBYY7nOehLjeVik
|
a7mngs
|
{
"description": "kicking a player out of our D&D group because they can't do math",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 30
}
|
AITA for kicking a player out of our D&D group because they can't do math?
|
I'll try and keep this short. Quick context. I play D&D with a group of 6 guys. We meet each week, and the group is about 2 years old at this point. One of the players (Adam) invited a coworker (Sarah) to join us for a few games.
So in D&D there is a lot of math. Not difficult math, but a lot of it. Basically in combat you roll dice, add or subtract based on your character's stats, and use the final result to determine if you hit an enemy, how much damage you do, or if you escape a spell or trap. It really is mostly single digit addition with some double digit thrown in. Nothing too tricky. At least not for most people.
Sarah has been playing with us for a few months now, and on average it takes her about 10 times as long to take a turn as it does anyone else at the table. I don't mind someone being a bit slower on the mental math aspects of the game, but this woman actually has turns that go over 7-8 minutes because it takes her a full minute to add 3 single digit numbers together. At first we thought it was because she was learning the rules and might have been nervous playing for the first time, but she has all the formulas written down. It just takes her that long to do the calculations. According to Adam she is known for being slow at work as well.
Well at this point she is taking so long that we are losing a lot of our limited game time just sitting around waiting on her to finish her turn. A rotation at the table is basically all of us taking 1-2 minute turns, the DM taking 3-4 minutes (since he is controlling all the baddies so it takes awhile) and then Sarah taking almost as long as all of us combined. It sucks. It isn't fun only getting maybe 90 minutes of game done in a 3-4 hour session.
We group text after the game and talk about maybe removing Sarah from the group. Everyone seems on board with the idea except for Adam who doesn't want to things to be awkward at work should she be kicked from the group. He also argues that she is having a lot of fun which is true. Even when she is struggling to do her turns she does seem to genuinely have fun. So we agree to give her another chance if Adam can take some time at work and see if he can get her to speed her turns up a bit. Adam agrees and all seems well.
It turns out we're all idiots, and Adam spending some time during lunch over the course of a week cannot magically make Sarah better at mental math. She's just as slow as before, but now she looks frustrated when she is counting. Adam had mentioned that we needed the game to go faster, and so now the pressure was on her and it definitely showed. Now Sarah was more annoyed and short with us during the session and was clearly not having fun anymore. By the end of the session Sarah ends up snapping at me and another player and started to cry. We decided to cut the session off there after she stormed outside and Adam ended up comforting her and taking her home.
This was last week and other than a text saying "Sarah won't be doing D&D anymore" he has been pretty quiet for all of us.
So am I the asshole here? We basically introduced someone to a game they really enjoyed, but because she couldn't do math fast enough we ended up making her break down in tears and leave angry at us instead of having fun. I was the primary driving force initially to remove her from the game, and I was definitely the most frustrated by her. Now that it has happened though I just feel really guilty.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 30
}
|
WRONG
|
RMaKcn9TTKB5NjvsjyEMydMbLXq3teYF
|
9zo5ao
|
{
"description": "completely kicking someone out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for completely kicking someone out of my life?
|
So we were friends for about 1 year, where we became very close friends and she had snuck her way into my friend group. She decided to date one of my friends Long distance, despite protest from all other friends, and they didnt work out. That friend she dated hates me now and no longer talks to me. She talks to me about her issues with guys and school and drugs. But she doesn't do the same for me. When being confrontational with her, she likes to make you feel like the bad guy for being honest. She is also a pathological liar, even though she says she never lies. She lied to my entire friend group saying she was in the hospital because of "coke withdrawals" yet talked to me on the phone that same night while she was at home chilling. I blocked her on all social media, and any way she could possibly reach out to me. AITA here??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
cfYtXs8vdc9PbvXK0nwcHjpU5Tyb0qHz
|
b0g5lw
| null |
AITA So I found a way to make my dog cringe
|
This is my first story on this subreddit. Ok. Hear me out. So I own a cute pug mix who’s more on the healthier side of pugs so he’s well built. Loves to lie around when he can, but he gets super excited whenever the time comes. One thing for sure he hates are baths or anything water related to his fur. When I’m washing dishes or just near the kitchen sink, he’s usually near my feet or just lying around on the floor. One day, my hands are soaking wet, I walk over to him and just cup his cheeks all lovingly. His face just looked like he ate a lemon and he also tries to pull away from me. He hates this every time I do it, but he doesn’t bark or yell. He just sort of looks at me like, “Did you just really disrespect me like this father?” So the question is, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
pL2TgpGhAGJFA2bxna9KMQnwJeowa97Z
|
akxdgr
|
{
"description": "\"cheating\" on my girlfriend of 2 years",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for “cheating” on my girlfriend of 2 years?
|
My girlfriend and I have been in an open relationship for 2 years, basically we have sex with 2-3 other people every week and then we openly share information and giggle and laugh about it.
I feel our bond is way deeper than anything I’ve felt before but that’s why we both agreed to an open relationship in the first place. We both wanted someone reliable and we really loved to see at the end of every day.
Two days ago my had girlfriend told me at dinner that she was no longer going to sleep with anyone but me. I asked if she’s sure of her choice and she said yes. We laughed and joked a bit and continued and I thought nothing else of it.
Last night I slept with this girl and returned home. When I arrived I told my girlfriend about what happened and she burst out crying, and began lightly hitting my chest in like a sad angry way. I was very confused, she said I was cheating and was fucked up for ruining her trust.
I told her she was being super unreasonable since I hadn’t said I was going to stop the open relationship. She didn’t ask or tell me I needed to either.
So basically I’m on the couch tonight, not sure what happens next.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
715Vt62e3yCCQG9O7iCacenVqoyk9Czn
|
b9qcm9
|
{
"description": "not learning italian",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for not learning italian?
|
My SO is half italian. Her close family speaks both english and italian, but many of her relatives and friends do not speak english well. We live in Scotland, but we will likely visit italy often in future as her family has a holiday home there. Especially if we have kids, as we intend to raise them bilingual.
I recently expressed interest in learning German, and this started a debate as my SO thinks that if I am going to learn a language, it would be much more considerate of her and her friends/family/kids to learn Italian. I say that the most important thing is my level of interest - I learned latin languages such as spanish, french, and latin in school and I never enjoyed them.
Not a big deal but we can't seem to come to an agreement on this.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
2l5PKoXx59I7hys3fuVkKpAqCBeyIlxa
|
ake160
|
{
"description": "not covering shifts",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not covering shifts?
|
(going to go ahead and apologize in advance for grammatical errors, English isn't my first language)
Hello, the title probably sounds bad alreadyso allow me to give some background info. I work at a very popular, green coffee shop. I don't work super often because I am in school right now (by that I mean I work 15-20hrs a week usually). My store manager is super chill, very understanding. However, our store is a tad understaffed, meaning my manager will often try to contact me to see if I can come in on my days off. I have a lot of days off so you'd think that would be no problem for me, right?
Well, not necessarily. As I've already stated, I am in school. I have a very heavy course load, but that's not my main issue.
I have a lot of mental health and family issues. To put things bluntly, I had a SEVERE breakdown earlier this month and I am still recovering, emotionally. I was put in counseling (not hospitalized), and have those sessions once a week. I am still having a very hard time and its been very difficult to even go to my scheduled shifts (I still do). For reference, I've only ever called out once. Anyway, the point is that it's been extremely difficult for me to come on my days off.
My manager doesn't like that I can't come in on my days off to cover shifts. I don't necessarily blame her, because every time she has asked this month, I have declined. However, I can't help but feel angry because she doesn't understand what's going on in my life. I've tried to explain to her that I'm going through a really hard time and it's difficult for me just to even get away from my family for a couple of hours. She doesn't seem to care, saying that I'm not committed enough, and that she needs more from me. I'm extremely conflicted because sometimes I think "no screw her I have a lot going on." But sometimes I really do feel like she's right. I understand why she's upset with me, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough for my store, and sometimes I feel like I need to push myself to go to more shifts. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
mJI4Jtgvm4Wwh9ZE0W2YgYbIg8nz2DfE
|
afxfco
|
{
"description": "not buying 1 friend a gift if I bought another a gift",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
Aita if I didn't buy 1 friend a gift if I bought another a gift?
|
Both of my friends are interested in the same things and I bought 1(F1) a gift and my other(F2) is mad at me, claiming he bought gifts for me (he did) and f1 hasn't. I really bought the gift kinda because F1 was bugging me for it and didn't think about f2. I'm saving money to get a Pc and idk if I'm being stingy (it's 15 cad)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
petSp35GMQ487JXmUAp6KlTdSf4vCR5h
|
a0xgnl
|
{
"description": "showing up to hang out with friends when I wasn't invited",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for showing up to hang out with friends when I wasn’t invited?
|
A bit of background: For the first two months of college, i was really close with these friends. They’re really cool people and i genuinely like them. About a month ago, all of this started. I’m typing this up while eating lunch alone where we used to eat every single tuesday.
Recently, my friends have not been responding to my messages in our group chat, and when I bring it up they just say “oh I didn’t see it” or “oh, we were busy”. These messages can range from “do you want to study for x exam with me?” to “hey, when are you eating dinner?” since we used to study for all our exams together and the rest of the group still eats dinner together every night. I also study better when I have them around because i’m good at subjects the rest aren’t, and vice versa.
Since they haven’t explicitly told me they’re not interested in being friends anymore, and I have a history of overanalyzing, I’ve been holding on to the lingering thread of hope that everything’s still fine. I know the few meeting spots where they like to congregate, so if I don’t get a response, I usually check these spots and “accidentally” run into them. They’re never upset to see me, and usually go the lines of “we would’ve invited you, but we thought you were busy”. Which strikes me as odd, because all 7 of them hang out together. This leads me to believe they have a secret group chat without me. However, they still do include me in group events, like buying movie tickets all together, and our secret santa gift exchange, so i’m not “cut off” from the group.
Anyways, tldr: my friends stopped responding to my messages in the gc (and pms sometimes if im asking where we’re meeting), i know where they usually hang out and show up to spend time with them anyways.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
7gBeYQyR7xcvx1BT3OwxSP9xiPbXhMgO
|
b15gd9
|
{
"description": "yelling at a special needs student",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for yelling at a special needs student?
|
Background Info: 3 days ago I had to get my nose cauterized due to excessive nose bleeds.
So yesterday I was playing 4-square in the gym (He usual) one of the kids (Who I always thought was a bit odd) threw the basketball at face as a “joke”. When it hit the floodgates opened getting blood everywhere, my clothes the ball, the floor everywhere and it hurt like hell. I swore at him,, partially in shock “What the fuck is wrong with you retard!” He cried an ran away to tell a teacher
Fast for around 15 minutes and I’m in the counselors office. As it turned out, the kid that threw the ball had ADHD. I was sent home not only for what I did for what I did but also for the bleeding. The day after I got my nose cauterized again (Which in my opinion is very painful) and stayed home for the rest of the day.
Today when I went back to school was ostracizing me for what I did. It makes me feel bad. I tried to apologize o the kid but he (No joke) Called me a dumb N-word (I’m black btw). I was outraged however this time I didn’t show it.
So Reddit AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
Mzfq2vbo1CVgmMEH5TG4yPG2hZmaEuQY
|
aeyo6a
|
{
"description": "expecting to receive the insurance payout for my truck from my parents",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for expecting to receive the insurance payout for my truck from my parents?
|
Last week I totaled my truck due to some bad weather (I hit a patch of ice and lost control). Despite me driving the truck for 4 years, putting gas on it and covering maintenance, the title of the truck is still under my parent's name. The truck was given to me as a graduation gift. The only thing they currently pay for on the truck is my insurance (the truck is paid off).
However, after they surrendered the vehicle to the insurance company, they told me I better "start saving up for a new vehicle". I kind of expected to at least receive the payout for the truck so I can put it towards a new vehicle (I estimate the payout to be at least 5,000 USD).
Am I the asshole for expecting the money? I understand that they did pay insurance and gave me the truck, but I still feel kind of blind sighted by this. I'm a full time college student btw, and I don't have that much saved up. My dad, meanwhile, is a well-off lawyer. Idk, am I wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
73FoLqzaRdmfozm9TeD6K85R3IeQCNf9
|
a3us3r
|
{
"description": "not being willing to help a girl in class after being rejected",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not being willing to help a girl in class after being rejected?
|
I've been in a ton of classes with a girl for 3 semesters now and I really like her and I help her with work a lot because I like her company. Well I asked her out. She wasn't down. I want some time alone to move on from this because it was a pretty major crush. She says I'm an asshole for not helping her just because she turned me down. But it's not that I don't want to help her out of spite, it's out of needing to move on from something that isn't going to happen. If she wanted to come in when I'm tutoring (I'm a tutor at the school as well) then I'd help, but I'm just not willing to spend my own free time with someone that I'm trying to emotionally move on from. Does that make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
uycO34rCy9g8DxNCjYeyQFcyaOOCCAzk
|
amxc2x
| null |
AITA for what I did to my friend who used me for university assignments?
|
I'm in university and happen to be a chemistry major. I don't have a lot of friends because I'm working a lot, but one friend in particular (we'll just call her friend for simplicity sake) shares lab class with me. We met in our chem lec because she just sat next to me and we started talking one day over something we didn't really understand.
Now, Friend isn't the smartest. She's a Biochem major. Out of the two of us, I'm the smarter when it comes to Chem but she smokes me in Bio because I can't wrap my head around some of it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Anywho, we were lab partners. We didn't know anyone else in the class except for this guy who I'll call Al, and Al was always late to class so he wasn't there when we picked partners. We just picked each other for simplicity and having the same lecture class. This is when we started being friends.
We worked on the HW for both classes together usually. In the start of the year, it was easy review stuff; nomenclature and dimensional analysis and other more 'basic' chemistry stuff you learn in university. Slowly, things started to get harder and we got into more complicated subjects, both in Lec and Lab. When we would do HW for either together, she would want me to figure out the answers and give them to her. Sometimes, Al would come and do HW with us; he was also Biochem and struggled with Chem and would sometimes mooch answers off of me, but most of the time he just wanted help on how to do a calculation or he just forgot something really simple. Friend didn't seem to want to put in the work, but we were buddies so I helped her. In lab, it was the same stuff. She wanted me to do all the work. She had awfully shaky hands when handling glassware so I would do all the carrying glassware related things so that we wouldn't accidentally break a beaker or a glass pipet or something; I get it. My sister has early onset arthritis so I was used to handling stuff that people would shaky hands were too scared of breaking shit to do. But I was doing everything. Weighing out stuff, mixing things, you know all the chemistry lab shit from high school. I tried to get her to do things but the only thing she would do was light the bunsen burner (I was a hapless idiot who couldn't do that, the easiest thing, for some reason).
Time passed and I stopped giving her my lecture and lab answers but would rather help her. She would try to get me to just tell her what was going on but I talked to Al about it and he gave me what seemed like solid advise. Just tell her to use the book, use youtube to look up tutorials, Khan Academy, whatever. So I did, because I had other shit to worry about than trying to talk to a brick wall. Like, I had 1500 word essay due every week for one class and tons of other stuff, and I suck at writing papers. I felt bad but it is what it is.
She started going to our lecture prof's office hours for help with that, so she began being okay with that. As the lab practical inched closer, I really tried to teach her what was really going on in lab as a last-ditch attempt to save her grade. She never let me see her lab grades after I stopped giving her the answers but I happened to see one when our lab instructor handed them out. He grades out of 25 pt scale, unless it's a dry or double lab. She was getting 12s and 14s, so I felt guilty. She was my friend, I didn't want her to fail. So, like I mentioned, I really drew out our labs for the whole class so I could teach her step by step how to do stuff and make her do it. The only thing I didn't let her do was carry glassware after she shattered a 600ml in the sink because I didn't want her to break anything else and hurt herself or someone else. Luckily, she was wearing gloves so she was fine, but whatever.
Anyways, lab practical comes around. We do these as single people, no lab partners, at different times. I go first around 9 pm and it goes pretty smoothly. The lab practical is basically 4 short versions of lab we had already done that had crucial techniques we had learned like... forming a precipitate and what causes it. Pretty basic shit. I finish in with a half hour left to spare and I feel confident about everything but the precipitate stuff because I was pretty sure I accidentally contaminated the wells I was using but I didn't want to run out of time and kept going. Now, you're not supposed to tell your lab partner what labs were on the test but, in a last ditch effort, I totally did. Told Al too, but his lab partner already messaged him. Whatever. Word gets around.
Now, Friend gets extra time on tests because she can't do math as fast as most people. Luckily, there wasn't much math on this, but still got a half hour extra (3hr30min in total).
She ends up not finishing 2 of the labs and not getting to the bonus questions (which were hard if you didn't know what you were doing, I got 1 of the 3 right) and I feel... terrible. She gets upset with me, saying how I always did everything in lab all year and ditched her and never helped her with the lab reports or lec hw so she didn't know what was going on. I end up getting an A- on the lab practical and she doesn't pass. I don't know what her letter grade was but she got a little more than half of the points and it was a 100 pt scale.
I felt really fucking guilty. I didn't have many friends so I ate alone after that for the most part because she wouldn't respond to my texts. She only came to me when she wanted to study for the lec final (Al came too but acted like a dork the entire time-he somehow didn't remember the difference between a solid and a liquid and I worry for him). Friend was all buddy-buddy during that but wouldn't talk to me after the final happened, despite us walking there together. She had to take it in a separate building because of her extra time but those buildings are right next to each other.
I don't know what she ever got on the final. We're still friends but she sometimes brings the lab practical up and makes it seem like it was my fault for her failing, saying I hogged the procedures and wouldn't let who do anything so she never learned. I was fed up with her mooching off my answers and I knew she wouldn't have learned anything if she kept doing that, but her grades only suffered and she took a bullet on the lab practical. I'm pretty sure it really harmed her GPA and I don't even know if she got credit for either course. If I would have given her lab practical answers or lec hw answers, the final and practical wouldn't have hurt her that badly maybe? I don't know, I just feel like a dick for letting her go off and just... you know, fail and all that. I'm pretty sure I'm a shitty friend because she gives the implication, but I tried my best. Al said I was kind of a dick afterwards even though he gave me that advice in the first place.
Thanks for your feedback.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZoYoGqt5gRgZI97tmvhdbEIzvjTN5O1Z
|
ai9q2b
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut out my roommate from my friend group",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut out my roommate from my friend group?
|
It all started in September of 2018. My roommate and I have been friends since high school and are now in our second year of college together. We’ve got a group of friends up at our school and we were all pretty cool with one another until September.
So my roommate, I’ll use A to identify her from here on out, had been on again off again seeing this guy for the better part of our freshman year. He was an absolute creep that made everyone uncomfortable, yet A always brought him around even when we told her we didn’t like him. He strung her along for many, many months, despite the friend group urging her to cut him loose as he was causing her substantial amounts of anxiety.
Then in October of the same year she held a party at our apartment, without asking if I was okay with it. To be honest I’d be fine with her hosting one, but I found out that she’d told one of my friends that I’d said it was okay to host one when I didn’t even know that it was a plan in motion??? That kind of pissed me off but I didn’t make a fuss about it.
There’s also a girl in our group, C, that is the nicest and most caring person I’ve met in a while. But A only talks to her whenever she needs a ride somewhere and in that time she verbally berates C and the rest of the friend group for not inviting her to things. But for hanging out it’s an open door policy, we show up at C’s apartment and chill and do homework, none of that’s planned so I’m not sure why she gets angry at that.
Slowly since then she’s been isolating herself from the group, and then a few days ago she went on a twitter rant. She said that it was the friend group’s fault that she was depressed and that we should’ve reached out to her and seen if she was okay and that we should just assume that she was alright. But the thing is, I don’t think anyone wanted to help her because of how awful she’s been treating us for the past few months. Whenever someone went to her to confide in she’d just brush it off and not want to help them so I’m not too sure what treatment she was expecting.
We’ve tried to tell her about this but she’s such a hardheaded and stubborn person she can’t see that she’s done anything wrong either, she just assumed that we all are maliciously trying to get rid of her when in reality we want to help her but she won’t let us. I’m starting to think she wants to be miserable?
All of this has led me to believe that moving her out of the friend group would be a stress reliever for the handful of us that have been dealing with her shenanigans for the past six months, AITA for thinking this and leaving her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
R4dwR6q8dzeqzEkrKcMn7UlfoMsESuBa
|
ak0u9j
|
{
"description": "telling my RA about my roommates pissing problem",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my RA about my roommates pissing problem?
|
Last semester, very first weeks in, my roommate was drunk one night and woke up & pissed on my laptop. I was super mad about it & the next day he went and bought me a new laptop. A few weeks after that, he had friends staying over and he drunkenly pissed on one of their bags.
That was the last incident of that semester, but so far this semester in back to back weeks he has pissed once again. Last weekend just on the floor, and tonight in my trash can. That was at 5 am and it is now 9 am and I haven’t fell back asleep.
I texted my RA saying that I won’t put up with it anymore and something needs to be done. Im playing baseball this spring and can’t be worrying on weekends that he’s going to piss in the room and waking me up at early times when I have a game/practice the next day.
My roommate and i have known each other since we started school (sophomores now) and I’d say we’re friends, but i can’t put up with this no matter who it is. AITA for doing this? Should I really care this much?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EGCFl0M5TCnadgZreaA7SAhsFJNtW0jO
|
b7hhfw
|
{
"description": "booking a trip for my daughter and I when my parents didn't pay as much for I thought they would? now my wife is pissed. I had no idea they wouldn't give me half",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA because I booked a trip for my daughter and I when my parents didn't pay as much for I thought they would? Now my wife is pissed. I had no idea they wouldn't give me half.
|
My wife suggested earlier this year that my daughter and I visit my parents in August. My parents live in Malta (not really but I'd rather no one be able to ID me by chance).
In January, ticket prices were $1600ish for my daughter and I.
The prices shot up to $2000 because we didn't book. The trip was effectively cancelled as a result.
A few weeks passed and on a Skype call with my mom, she mentions to me that she will pay for half the trip. Cool. Great! Thanks!
I tell this to my wife and she books the trip for my daughter and I (she's the type A, she insisted on doing the booking).
Now my parents are visiting us. My mom approaches me yesteday and gives me $500 and some local currency. Quite a bit actually. I say thank you.
I tell my wife and she becomes angry, starts crying and tells me I manipulated her in booking this trip under false pretense.
The pretense, of course, being that my parents would pay for half when in fact, they "only" payed about 1/4 of the trip, arguably 1/3 with the other currency.
She starts going off on how she can't afford this with her Amex card. How she wouldn't have done any shopping today if she knew we'd only get $500 towards the trip.
Am I supposed to go to my mother and say "This isn't enough money. We agreed on half. This is 1/4.“? I think that's pretty damn generous to begin with.
Is my wife out to lunch here? Am I the asshole? I mean, I can't look a gift horse in the mouth. I consider this very nice of my parents.
We aren't broke as a couple, my wife and I, but yes, this trip IS gonna stretch us a tad when all is said and done. I also receive retroactive pay each year when my raise goes in in January which is usually a couple of grand.
AITA?!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
Hq5hZYkXrOiRKO1rykDgHzxkoGO0oF47
|
a9lqzx
|
{
"description": "telling my GF which pornstar I was getting off to",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my GF which pornstar I was getting off to?
|
Got into a useless fight with LDR GF (blames me for making my internet dc on webcam...), was on a discord phone call with her late night, got horny, found a picture of a pornstar online via Twitter, reversed it for scientific purposes..
​
Asks me in the morning, I heard you typing and looking up shit while in the call, I told her what I was doing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
kVjEtUDC8ORppaT5CuYyQaPJyVGfvw8g
|
amnh85
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk about certain things with my family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk about certain things with my family.
|
So to give you some backstory. I have suffered from depression since summer 2017 when I was rejected from army service bc of a diagnose (which symptoms grew away with age). This was a major trauma in my life.
I have also ended up in unemployment and I have no drivers license which makes my life very difficult rn.
My parents were raised in a very conservative way. To them depression simply doesn't exist and they think the cure for depression is "To get up and get a grip of your life". They're also very career minded and money is a top priority.
This obviously leads to tensions. They ask me almost every day about job searching and drivers license. These two topics are very important, I get that, but they make me feel like a total loser when talking about them and I often get very sad and self-loathing when they're brought up.
My brother (16 y/o) also thinks it's hilarious to push me to talk about said subjects (usually through asking multiple times until I answer just to make him shut up) and it often ends with me being super angry of crying. He always get away scot-free.
After one such incident I texted my mom and told her how I feel. I also asked her polietly to talk with my dad and brother about avoiding these subjects in future coversations. She them answered that she can't force somebody to not speak.
I never said I wanted them to never speak but to just avoid two out of a million things to talk about. She didn't answer.
From then on I just ask as polite as I can if we can change the subject whenever they're brought up. My brother always yell out "FREEDOM OF SPEECH" while my parents tell me to be more tolerant.
So to end this wall of text, Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5RgaDfGfjKAJmXSa47E31a7nLdGkitDi
|
addc8g
|
{
"description": "taking my son to a homeless shelter because he wouldn't get a job",
"pronormative_score": 71,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA - I took my son to a homeless shelter because he wouldn't get a job
|
My son was 23 when this happened but I've always felt guilty about it. This was a few years ago.
My son was one of those kids who just wanted to lay around and pig out and play video games. He could never keep a job for very long. He had friends over every weekend and contributed nothing. Every time I tried to talk to him about getting a job he would say "Oh mom" and go to his room and shut the door.
Ever since he was 17 I have told him he needs to think about a trade school he wants to attend or a skill he wants to master for his future. He wasn't college material but that's ok. I learned a trade and it has been a good living for me so I was fine with him going the trade route too.
He learned bartending and only worked one bartending job for 6 months until the bar went out of business. He worked other dumb jobs for a few weeks then would quit or get fired. This went on for years.
Finally I had had enough. I told him I was selling the house and moving a half hour away and he wasn't coming with me so he better make plans.
He kept lollygagging for another year while potential buyers came around as constant reminders that soon the house will be sold.
Then it sold and I bought another. Immediately after it sold I called the homeless shelter and found out they only had four beds for single males and were full. I called every day until one day there was an opening.
I threw my son's shit in the car and told him we are going to the shelter. He didn't argue or fight because he knew this day was coming. I think at first he didn't believe I would really do it but when it came time he wasn't surprised.
At the shelter I told him I love him but he has to learn to get on by himself now. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. But I knew if I let him live with me it would be more of the same.
A few weeks later I moved into my new home. He called and begged to come live with me. I said under one condition. He go to barber school (I am a barber).
He agreed and came home and went to barber school and is now a barber and is living on his own.
Was there a better way to do this than to send him to a shelter? I never heard of other parents having to resort to this. How do other's get rid of adult kids? AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 71,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 71,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
GheHxcvYVRfRJhYeDXmMrQtCByPHNd0y
|
aadbws
|
{
"description": "canceling plans with my bestfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for canceling plans with my bestfriend?
|
I live in a studio apartment with my bestfriend, but we live on opposite schedules so we never see each other. The rare times we do have the same day off, she spends it with family or her girlfriend, which isn't a problem.
But this weekend we made plans, just us, to catch up and go to a bar we wanted to try, which I was excited for. To then find out, without talking to me, that she then changed the plans to go out somewhere else with family. Her family dislikes me because when we first met I had lost my job, and we met on an app after reconginizing each other from going to the same high school. Her family thought I was just trying to use her even though we were never dating and I've never taken money from her.
My bestfriend is fully aware of this but still feels like I need to make amends even though they hate me based off a false assumption.
I felt like it was messed up to dismiss our plans and then try to guilt me into spending time with people that have made it clear verbally, multiple times, that they don't like me. So I canceled and took another shift at work because I figured I might as well be making money instead. My coworker said I was cold blooded and wrong. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fdHia9pxfH2G7QxPTMp0BApdCwpbSGCb
|
adhkid
|
{
"description": "wanting my ex to also put in effort to make us work",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting my ex to also put in effort to make us work
|
We have dated for 4 years and we are 20. I cheated on her 2 years ago because she didn't reciprocate love back to me. I only told her recently because I didn't want to lie to her anymore. Because things have been getting more serious. After I told her, we broke up.
We have been broken up for a few months now, and we both want to get back together. I have apologized and have tried my best to express what a dick I was and that I will do what I can do earn her trust back.
She is always distant and refuses to do anything to help make it work. We are long distance also and I am just about to move away again and she doesn't even care if we meet up even though we might not see each other for another 5 months.
I love this girl and want to put effort in to making us work as a relationship again. But am I the asshole for wanting her to also want the relationship and to put effort into it also?
It seems like she wants me to put in all the effort, but not actually do anything herself.
Thanks!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
RI4DGC4u8ziE7cQClQvhWw2FaXvGdWBs
|
anvgds
|
{
"description": "telling my so not take a trip to see her sick grandpa",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for telling my SO not take a trip to see her sick grandpa?
|
So my girlfriend found out her grandpa is sick in the hospital and tells me the same day she is driving 9 hours to go see him and will be gone a week. Apparently it is not looking good and no one knows for sure if he will recover. Normally I would tell her of course you gotta go but not now and here is why.
Firstly we are behind on a couple bills and just barely paid rent this month. My gf lost her full time job and now only works a couple days a week and doing food delivery apps plus donates plasma. All together it doesn't bring in what we need. I have 2 jobs to try to make ends meet and now I'm looking for a 3rd because she is not covering her half. I told her I need you here applying and interviewing for new jobs.
Secondly she is a terrible driver. She's had multiple accidents the last couple years and has not driven long distance before. I'm worried because she is going to be by herself. She has no idea how to change a tire, check oil level or tire pressure for that matter. On top of that it's icy and snowy where she's headed.
Lastly I really depend on her for rides to and from one of my jobs. It does not sit on a bus route. So I'm either stuck walking 45 min to an hour one way in freezing weather or spending anywhere from 40-60 bucks on uber over this week, money I can't afford right now. If she had a full time job I could quit that one and not rely on her.
So yea I told her she shouldn't go see her sick grandpa, but AITA for it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
hxHrfx2IxNs4XGpYNItgfdAoTPdfVlgt
|
aijp5f
|
{
"description": "not backing down on a gendered perspective",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not backing down on a gendered perspective
|
Sorry it's a little long, TLDR at the end.
My girlfriend and I have had a few rocky fights from time to time, usually nothing too big and over menial things that we both agree we shouldn't be fighting about. I still love her after the fights and I usually want them to be over and resolved as quickly as possible because I don't want to damage what we have over something stupid and meaningless to us.
Recently we had a brief argument about the Gillette 'We Believe: the best men can be' commercial. She told me that she agreed with the commercial on a whole because to her it only told men that they should be better and there's nothing wrong with that. She supported this by saying that her own personal experience with horrible guys in her life is why she believes some men need to do better and that we should welcome this message. I told her I disagree but that I am sorry with the experiences she's had. I don't want to open the whole can of worms over the Gillette ad on Reddit either because I know we all have our own stances on the topic, but mine branches more over my belief that businesses should try to remain as apolitical as possible (although an argument could be made that the ad was no political based, and I partially agree) and that the ad does more than just imply men should be better, it also puts the onus of many detestable actions (typically singular to men) at the feet of all men while said actions are largely not as prevalent as the ad implies they are. Sorry for the tangent, but I believe at least some of our stances were required to understand where we stood.
At first our argument was not heated at all, we just disagreed. My girlfriend tried to push things further to say that I was not seeing things from her perspective and that I can't, to which I countered that I try to see it from her perspective as much as I can but I know I could never truly see things through the eyes of a woman and that same caveat applied to her with my perspective. She kicked me out of our room and told me that if I didn't shut up she would 'literally break up with you right now.' Of course I left and kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to end us on something so petty.
Flash forward maybe an hour and I returned to our room and apologised to her. I told her I shouldn't have come to her with something I disagreed with, expecting her to support me and that it was a horrible mindset to have for someone you love. I know she usually avoids political conversation while I myself try to stay up to date. I told her that I felt it was unhealthy for me to feel the way I felt about the ad and that it was a very petty thing to be worked up over, and regardless I believe it got under my skin. I told her I was sorry and that I'll try my best to avoid coming to her over political things again, as it's not right for me to use her as a filter for my views. I told her I knew we wouldn't always agree on these things and I accept that, I won't push it further. She accepted my apology and we moved on as normal. That was three days ago now and I have been actively avoiding making comments on anything relating to that Gillette ad. At one point she was laughing and I asked her what's up, she said she was just reading a Facebook post that had a meme about the Gillette ad. I just smiled and left her on her phone, which felt freeing to just ignore something like that.
Anyway, today she shared a post with me on Facebook regarding a girl's reaction to a recent horrific murder in a city in my country of a woman making her way home at night. I truly deplore what happened to this young woman and believe it was a great tragedy, but the post drew parallels between men's reaction to the Gillette ad at the same time as the occurrence of this girl's murder. After reading I did what I always do upon receiving a meme or post from her, I asked my girlfriend why she sent this to me. She said she thought it would show a different light to the Gillette ad that I hadn't thought of. I told her that I had already seen posts relating to this but the situation was vastly different between the ad and this girl's murder. She got exasperated and told me I don't understand, I told her I do or at least try to. She said that she knows men get murdered too but probably mostly by men too (this seemed like an odd comment and I hadn't said anything to spark it), to which I said yes they are. Then she said see! I said they're still different points but I don't want to argue about the ad. She then said "You got angry at me because you expect me to agree with you all the time", to which I said that I didn't believe that, and I had even apologised specifically for that line of thinking just the other day. I told her again I was trying to avoid talking about the ad because it's meaningless, to which she also shouted the same thing back at me. She then started yelling at me and calling me far-right, which I disagreed with because I'm mainly centre-left. I told her about the alt-right and how I disagree with them. She proceeded to say I've become blinded and don't want to hear other opinions. I told her all I try to do is hear other opinions and debate to understand which views to hold, that only through discussion can we prove each other right or wrong and that I always look for opinions to prove me wrong so I can correct myself if needed. That was the climax, she started making her lunch in the kitchen and slamming around dishes, I left the room because I don't feel comfortable near her when she gets like this (in brings up past memories of family before shouting matches). This is where I am now, in a separate room and trying to cool my thoughts.
So I guess to summarise this; AITA for not backing down to her and instead trying to shut down the conversation? I believe I tried to see things from her perspective and let her know I'm okay with disagreeing on certain things and that I didn't expect to always agree, but I won't denounce my opinion just because it angers her. I don't think I should be expected to give in just to appease her, when she hasn't won me over with her reasoning to begin with. AITA?
TLDR; My GF and I argued over the Gillette commercial a few days ago, we apologised and made up. I avoided anything relating to that ad but it was brought back up again regardless, and now we've had a fight over it all over again. I didn't back down but instead tried to end the conversation. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
7QtYZ0gSTpBUydPCDlZfFrWptxdlnlDk
|
apofmd
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take our sick child to the mall",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take our sick child to the mall?
|
I (32f) have a child (1m) with my boyfriend (41m) of 7 years. Over the past four days or so, our son has been pretty sick with a respiratory illness -- not bad enough for the hospital, but bad enough to keep him home from daycare as he is coughing up massive amounts of phlegm and has been very listless and fussy.
Yesterday, my boyfriend said he wanted to take our son to the mall to "get out for some exercise and fresh air". I said that isn't a good idea, considering he was on day 3 of a very bad chest cold and currently has a compromised immune system. We live in a relatively populated area and I just don't think a sick baby needs to be at the mall, for various reasons. He argued with me about it, but then relented and said he agreed with me.
Today, he stated -- again -- that he wanted to take our son to the mall. This annoyed me, considering the fact that I already told him yesterday that I was uncomfortable with this and I reiterated the exact reasons why. He is still quite sick and has been having coughing fits where it is difficult for him to catch his breath. He proceeded to tell me that I was "keeping our son cooped up and not letting him get the exercise he needs to get better". He said I'm keeping him in a bubble.
I reminded him that, yes, we've taken him to the mall and other places plenty of times, but not when he is sick; there is a difference. He became very cold towards me and basically refused to engage further in the conversation until I relented and allowed a compromise of taking a short walk outside instead, if the weather wasn't too bad.
We then took a walk with our sick toddler outside where it is -10 with the wind chill. I expressed that I didn't think it was a good idea to go on this walk, but he continued ahead with our son, so I followed. When we arrived back inside the apartment, our son's face was alarmingly red and I began checking his skin because I was afraid he might have frostbite. My boyfriend then said: "yeah maybe that wasn't a great idea, we're bad parents."
I responded that this was not my idea. He said "fine, I'm the bad parent." I didn't correct him.
This is not the first time we've had problems like this. I admit that I do have problems with anxiety, and my boyfriend frequently uses this against me. Whenever I express that I am uncomfortable with something because I feel it's not in the best interests of our son's safely, I'm told that I am being unreasonable and he either straight up ignores me or fights with me until I am too mentally stressed to fight back anymore. This is just the most recent incident, and I really need some outside opinions on this.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to take our sick child to the mall?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
jfwTWCjhQ4WUAkT0OYFV11XfHSnMt2vA
|
b4i7b8
| null |
AITA In a Relationship
|
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 years and have been in distance relationship for last 6 months. Our relationship has it's up and down and we find our ways back to each other.
AITA asking my boyfriend to stay with me in a different city than his current location as he has a remote job ?
He mentions he has friends in the city and very comfortable and doesn't even meet his parents that frequently. We meet once in 2 months for a week.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
J0TDxXMFzogpjBsrbNLOvJHRleZnjj7z
|
awem8r
|
{
"description": "sending my ex back to live with her family",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sending my ex back to live with her family
|
what happened was me and my ex girlfriend hand been living together for 3 months dating off and on for 9 months
over the months of us living together I slowly began to fall out of love with her.
honestly by February I was done but I gave it another shot anyways because I didn't want to be the bad lady that didn't give her another chance.
just to clarify my ex girlfriend according to my family is very unstable. she had a obsession with knives and as I write this is texting me about how she's " surprised I am ready for another relationship"
towards the end me and my ex did not get along at all. any joke I made she thought I was mad at her anything she said felt like nails on a broken record.
my ex only had 3 things she talked about, her middle school friends (she's in her 20's), her family, and games. everything after that I felt like I was talking at her instead of with her.
we broke up Monday I believe and I immediately felt a sense of relief. the entire Idea that I could have a real conversation made me so happy I went online and had a full blown discuss on Kik with a dude about how cool quatum physics is.
I wasn't planning on making her move out at first but things kept getting more and more awkward. she would just linger in the door way or she would find excuses to touch me and talk to me, all that. all I wanted was my space. eventually the decision was made to send her back to Wich she moved from which took a massive talking to about how I didn't see us getting back together.
day comes to take her to the bus station and suddenly it turns out one of the members of house hold she is moving back into has been hospitalized with serious injuries and they where the only person who could drive.
we sent her back there instead of to a homeless shelter so she could get help learning how to drive and support her until she could support herself. sadly in her eyes they will no longer be able to do that I tried to tell her that they really needed her now there so that as soon as she learned to drive she would be able to help out
I basically had to beg her to go. she consider Ed staying but given that my family had paid for her ticket back and that it was non refundable and she couldn't pay my family back for it she had to go.
now she is half way there on the bus asking if we made the right decision
I feel like it is a ploy to get back together
opinions?
options am I a dick for sending her away ?? please help!!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GqZaA9aHmX13bdrMP92TTqgEQy6q5nb5
|
b7o6ep
|
{
"description": "shutting down at a party and making it awkward",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for shutting down at a party and making it awkward
|
My wife and I were with good friends the other night, having drinks and playing games. Later in to the night the party unconsciously divides itself between the men and the women. The women were sitting down at a table talking, and I was watching March Madness with the guys. We’re all talking and laughing when one of the girls walks up behind me, cackles, and says for the whole group of people to hear, “Your mom is the blow-job queen!”. I was so surprised and put-off I responded with, “...hehe...what are you talking about?” Another girl walks up behind her and follows with, “Ya your mom gives the best blow jobs, hahaha, she’s the queen.” Nothing more is said. At this point I’m so surprised two people have repeated that, so I shutdown. I’m not making a frown face, crying, or being aggressive or mean. I just decide to continue watching TV and not talking.
My wife quickly tells everyone that she has to work early in the morning (which was true), so we will have to leave. After some awkward hugs goodbye (I’m sure our friends could sense something was up), we get in the car. Immediately I am pressed with how I humiliated my wife, how I made it awkward for everyone, and how I was being selfish and unreasonable. I’m so shocked at my wife saying this I get angry. I ask her how she would respond if someone talked about her mother that way. She responds with, “We we’re talking about a game at my bachelorette party and your mom won the game!”. This is the first time I’m getting context. She then proceeds to continue trying to tell me I am wrong because our friends intent wasn’t malicious. I then get upset because not once did she try to understand things from my perspective (zero context to the mom statements, no clarification from friends, etc).
I felt like she wasn’t on my side and didn’t try to understand where I was coming from, or why I would be upset. I’m embarrassed for shutting down in public, and now I’m dealing with a marital argument. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
5WxDoxalEg7ffNVntuADQEuVZs4vVgPs
|
adl53y
|
{
"description": "expecting my partner to be angrier with his best friend after she accused me of making false rape allegations against him",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting my partner to be angrier with his best friend after she accused me of making false rape allegations against him?
|
Two years ago, he and I broke up after he was abusive toward me, and at one point I sent a message to our shared friend group explaining the situation and why I wouldn't be around anymore. (We're all late 20s.) Now, he's gone through therapy/anger management and we're giving it another shot.
His female best friend and I haven't really spoken since then - she took issue with me telling the group about the abuse and didn't seem to believe me. When my boyfriend recently let her know we're getting back together, she claimed that I had told her back then that he'd raped me.
This NEVER happened. In my two-year-old message I was very clear that the abuse was emotional with one instance of physical. Sexual abuse was NEVER a part of it and as someone who takes sexual assault very seriously, I would never make something like that up. This girl claims she deleted the messages where I supposedly said this but it "stuck in her mind."
Partner told me "she'll apologize eventually" and expects me to "make nice" (his words) with her when she does, because he wants us to get along. He doesn't seem to understand what a serious accusation that is and how much it hurts me. I am not interested in being around this girl and would not be comfortable spending time with her. I also feel somewhat betrayed that he doesn't seem to be angry with her at all, not on my behalf OR his (this is someone whose hair-trigger temper has been an issue in the past.) If the situations were reversed, I'd cut out that friend. We had an argument about it and now he's upset with me for "bashing" him and refusing to get over it "because I love him."
I genuinely don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Kr2YOw6k3nsLbeDh4E9tT10DbfhIwPE7
|
aye4re
|
{
"description": "snitching on someone whose vaping in class habits could cause us to lose my favorite class",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for snitching on someone whose vaping in class habits could cause us to lose my favorite class?
|
So recently our Video Production teacher learned of some students vaping habits in class, and decided to let the class know to tell him about anybody that Vaped. Well I decided to tell him about someone (privately) and now apparently other people think I was the one who started the whole ordeal and now our teacher is going to have the class drug tested.
The issue with that is that 90% of the higher grades and the upperclassmen are drinkers/smokers/vapers and I know that they will fail, and will probably hate me, so Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
mwPFMrlx4EpegOLpN7u2zoAHGluGimqx
|
b29030
|
{
"description": "not guiding a friend who is new to the city",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not guiding a friend who is new to the city?
|
Me (F19) and some friends (about the same age) were meeting up to catch up on our lives. The plan was to get together at around 5pm at the subway station nearest to my appartment (roughly 30min walk). This was arranged by one friend, N (F18), so that I could guide her to the place and not get lost.
Most were already on their way, and when I got there at about 5pm, only N was missing. At 5.30pm, I sent a message, asking her where she was. Two stations away, she said, so we waited. Another fifteen minutes go by and she's nowhere to be seen. I asked her again and she said she was on her way to her home to leave the things she'd bought.
I though, "What the hell?" and asked her what she meant. N told me she'd gone to the mall and bought some clothes she needed, and was gonna go back home to leave them. I got mad, so I told her "But its going to take you at least an hour and a half to get here!" to which she replied, "just wait for me, I 'll be there".
I was furious and asked her why she'd done that, and told me she bought some stuff for her appartment that she needed. I asked my friends if they would mind waiting for her, and decided we would.
Twenty minutes go by and I receive one last message from N, saying she was exhausted and wouldn't meet with us. I sent her "Ok, then we're leaving for the appartment. This is the adress if you change your mind. But, for the next time, be respectful with other people's schedules and tell us if you had to do something beforehand. What you just did is messed up."
I locked my phone and began walking to the appartment with my friends. When we got there, I check my phone and there are at least 20 new messages from N.
​
N: I didn't expect this from you. I hurried up, have blisters on my feet for running and you don't even care for my efforts. I always put up with you and you can't even wait for me.
Me: It is basic human decency to arrive on time. And don't you dare to forget that we set the time to be 5pm because of you. You can't go around changing the time when you feel like it.
N: When I feel like it? You don't even understand what I've been through, so keep on living in your perfect fantasy world with no money issues, no depression, with appliances that do everything for you and a family that loves you. You are incredibly stupid for not even having the decency to guide me to your appartment when you know I've only been living in this city for a week.
And then she blocked me.
​
I'm aware that I've had a pretty assholish behavior in the past and that what she said could make some sense. We aren't rich, but we don't struggle much. I moved to this city about a year ago from a place where you could get everywhere by walking, and I got used to it just fine. She did the same, a year after, and has only been here for a week, so maybe I'm really not putting myself in her place and I was the one who did something wrong.
I just don't know what to think anymore.
​
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jwuzQSrlsGpvAX27Y2Iu4a32Oro24wVs
|
aau3br
|
{
"description": "not cooking dinner for my parents every single night they come home from work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not cooking dinner for my parents every single night they come home from work?
|
For context, they work the same job at the same time and get home around 2am. They (Pretty much my dad 99.999% of the time) always expect me or someone in the household to constantly have food prepped and ready for them when they get home. Sure, I can make rice pretty quickly because I just have to rinse it and leave it in the rice cooker. That is the one thing I make sure is done, but I can't always cook dinner all the time with being both a full time student and working 30+ hours a week. Sure, there are moments where I do have free time, but I generally need it to destress from the workload I have.
So, AITA for not making dinner every night?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
l4DaAJeM4qNQiaZ7955sIVxuoaK6GQou
|
aq80zy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give money to extended relatives",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give money to extended relatives?
|
So I am going back to my home country (third world) for a holiday soon and I’ve already told my parents and grandparents how much money I plan on spending whilst there.
My mum and nan seemed to be okay with the amount but as soon as I’d told my dad and grandad (living back home), they told me that it might not be sufficient because I wouldn’t have enough money to spend for fun and leisure and I think they are under the impression that I would be giving each and every one of my extended relatives some sort of amount.
I, for one, didn’t plan on giving EVERYONE any since I’ve got quite a few from both sides. It’s only just me going there as well, and I wanted to go there to unwind and enjoy myself. I might give some of my close relatives a little bit but that would soon add up.
When my dad told both my mum and I that it wouldn’t be enough, I told him “well it’s not my responsibility to give them money.” He just looked at me sternly after that but didn’t say a word.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
29MWH8e8Z1dRdL3kterkUrjEHBrk6K5H
|
9v6b3x
|
{
"description": "being offended by my friends saying I'm cheating at my art",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being offended by my friends saying I’m cheating at my art?
|
So I am planning on writing and drawing my own comic i want it to be fairly realistic in full color with painted backgrounds possibly some parts even being animated, it’s gonna be a bitch to make. So I came up with the idea of sculpting pose able models of my characters out of clay so that i could take pictures of them in hard to draw angles and poses to save time. The first one i made took around 3 months it was extremely hard but all together I’m very happy with it especially the face which was the hardest part. I had never sculpted anything before so I was pretty proud of myself and showed my friends and told them my plan and they said i would be cheating if i took pictures of my own handmade model and traced it for my comic. Also one of the friends who said this is an artist too who regularly traces other people’s art for collages or other things she won’t lie if you ask her if it’s traced but she tells people she ‘made’ it but is careful to avoid the word “drew”. I was very hurt when my friends said this and i told them that and they were very annoyed with me and told me they were just being honest and i would be cheating if i followed through with my plan. Which i personally feel is like telling a 3D animator they are cheating because they didn’t draw every single one of their frames but instead made models. What do you guys think?
TLDR: my friends said i would be cheating if i traced my own handmade model of my characters for my comic book which i made to save time drawing hard to draw angles and poses.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
32wPEWHDzpGoq6jgZFYZ2mGs639g86GG
|
b8pgod
|
{
"description": "telling my classmates the giant dog video they were watching was fake",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my classmates the giant dog video they were watching was fake?
|
I (24F) overheard some fellow classmates today talking about a video I had seen on Facebook last night, which was basically a video complication of photoshopped pictures featuring a guy and his 450 pound dog. At first I thought they were just laughing about it, but then one of them started explaining the dog had “too much calcium in its bones or something” - and I realized they thought the video was legit. One of them even exclaimed it was “just like Clifford the big red dog”. I was sitting on the other end of the classroom on my laptop, but the lesson hadn’t started yet so the room wasn’t too full of people or conversations. I turned in my seat and said “You guys know that was an April fools joke right? It’s all photoshop.” They asked if I was serious and I said yeah, and then they just kinda gave me the side eye and started talking amongst themselves much quieter. I didn’t feel like I sounded rude or judgmental, but am worried it came across that way. I don’t feel like I am very popular with the people in my major to begin with, mostly due to being introverted and socially insecure, so I may just be overthinking it entirely. But alas,I’ll turn to reddit to decide. Am I the asshole here? Should I just have kept my mouth shut and let them believe someone out there owns a 450 pound dog?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XCqyVlyqrkMfgGvWnJRij6zPTkVaQdMC
|
aeqrr4
|
{
"description": "telling my mother that I think she's being selfish for wanting to abandon her kids ASAP to persue other life interests",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mother that I think she's being selfish for wanting to abandon her kids ASAP to persue other life interests?
|
AITA for telling my mother that she was being selfish for wanting to abandon her kids ASAP to persue her other life interests?
Yesterday me(17M) and my mother(43F) were having a very real, very irritating conversation about her no longer wanting to live with me and take care of me anymore. My mother wants me to drop out of school, and live away from home because she wants to "follow her dreams" and not have to wait a year for her to be able to "legally" leave me. The legality of the situation is the only reason she hasn't thrown me out already. She essentially wants me to "choose to leave" as soon as I get my own income, so that she can't get in trouble for it. Otherwise, she'll just straight up kick me out the day I turn 18. What are her dreams that are oh so important, you ask? She wants to live on the streets so she can save money so she can afford new teeth and breast implants. Yeah, I know...but you really just can't make this stuff up. So she was doing her usual of hounding me and saying she hates being my carer(this sounds like I'm playing it up so people will think "he's in the right!" or whatever, but this is something I hear from her almost constantly), and that she can't take care of me and that she wants to move away as soon as I find my own income.
Usually, I'm understanding with this. I don't really want to live with her anyway, because everything is always a problem. There is no conversation with her that doesn't somehow turn into an argument lately. And not just with me, but with pretty much everyone. But yesterday (and honestly, still today) I was already hearing and dealing with a lot of bad and unrelated shit from other people, so I really didn't want to hear her ramble on about stuff I was already in the midst of working on. So after what felt like ages of her flipping out about it, I lost my cool and told her that she was "Extremely selfish because she'd throw her kids away at the drop of a hat so she can persue her ridiculous plan". As you might expect, she absolutely lost it. Continued to tell me that I'm the reason that she now wants to smoke again, because I stressed her out? She went on and on about how I'm the selfish one, because I "force her" to stay with me. Her whole thing only ended because she decided that she wanted to go out and get drunk because of "how stressed I made her!".
So since I spoke back to her yesterday, she's been angry as hell and just completely ignoring me. I feel like an asshole, but I also kinda...don't. Like, I felt like it was something she did need to hear, but maybe not in the moment. I've been contemplating apologizing, but I also just don't feel like I should have to. :/ I'm conflicted, really. I mean, maybe I am the one who's being selfish here? Obviously, she really wants to live elsewhere and do her own thing, and according to her, I'm the only thing that's been in her way to going ahead with it. But like I said...I already was looking into finding a job and somewhere else to stay, so I'm literally doing exactly what she wants. But yeah, that's the whole point of AITA, Reddit. So what do y'all think? Was I the asshole in this situation? Should I just do exactly as she says and apologize?
A little extra information- Me and my mother usually get somewhat along...a few arguments here and there, but nothing terribly serious. She's only been extremely moody since she developed her "plan" a few months ago(when I was 16). In more detail, her plan is that she wants to move away from our current house to live on the streets and save money on rent, and other bills that she would be paying if she were still living here. She wants to save this money, because she wants to "fix herself up to look young again". This involves quite a lot, but the two main things are that she wants to fix her teeth and her boobs. Worst thing is, she doesn't even want to do all this for herself, or or her own self image. She wants to do it so she can "find a rich boyfriend who can buy her whatever she wants and also love her". She believes that it's almost impossible for a man to respect her with how she looks now(she looks fine, she's not at all "ugly" or anything like that). So when I tell her things like "Your teeth aren't a problem!" She flips out and says that she wouldn't date a man who would be okay with her teeth (her teeth are fine, not perfect, but really average). Also, I'm not a "problem child" by any means. Just wanted to put that out there because I know how Reddit loves to jump to conclusions. I do extremely well in school, I'm generally respectful to adults and I haven't been in any legal trouble, heck, I don't think I've even been I'm trouble since I started highschool.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
KedSEpMCXGTUnuQeBrYthssY7zeG4Z4R
|
ahz6fg
|
{
"description": "pulling my son out of daycare on a weeks notice",
"pronormative_score": 42,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for pulling my son out of daycare on a weeks notice?
|
I have a son (12 months old) that was scheduled to start daycare next week. We'd booked a spot half a year ago with a daycare and already submitted our first months schedule. A few days ago we learned through Facebook that the daycare provider got a one year old puppy (will not name the breed to prevent bias) that I must mention is untrained. The pictures posted on Facebook showed the puppy playing with the kids, sharing the same space as where the kids play. We decided to notify the daycare that we were not going to have our son attend there because we feel uncomfortable with the puppy. The reaction was quite hostile, Facebook "shaming", for being dog haters etc. I actually love dogs but it's a trust issue with a strange, untrained animal. Are we over-reacting here? It's wasn't an easy decision to make as daycares are hard to come by on such short notice.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 41,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 42,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
fjuLPyPAHMUuRmB0bX6QF8UNHhD8Gk0g
|
anprls
|
{
"description": "abandoning my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for abandoning my friend
|
So a couple months ago I cut ties with one of my friends (we will call her A) because I couldn't deal with how she would treat me.
For context, due to past experiences I tend to be closed and untrusting in person, this has led to me putting on a persona of a cocky joker, to an almost arrogant degree, in order to try and push people away.
Back onto A. We had been friends for about 2-3 years and I was more open than I was with anyone, talking about my problems and feelings, and I was there for her. I remember that within a month of being her friend she invited me to her place which surprised me a bit (she seemed introverted and being alone with her in her room was a bit odd).
But as time went on she seemed to like me less. Saying "LMAO sucks to be you haha" when I talked about my problems. She started complaining about my choice in music and nicknames I gave. While I still talked to her about my issues and she occasionally said things about hers.
She would often times come over to me, and tell me how "so and so thought I was being especially rude today", or how "such and such said you were very quite when the movie we saw was on." never really talking about how she thought, she would also take anything I said about anyone and directly tell them it without warning, (I once said that I didn't know if someone liked me as a friend, and A went and asked them. I only know because they told me after)
Every so often I would ask if she hated me or imply though conversation that she would, each time she acted surprised.
I would try to hide how it hurt me each time something like that happened bc I was so lonely that I wanted someone to be there, she would reply instantly to my texts and that felt nice.
Eventually it got to where I might show her some photo of a garden I took hours getting right, to which she would point out how terrible it was ("you could have at least done -x-, how bad at this can you be?") which again I would hide my hurt.
So after a couple months of this I decided that enough was enough and stopped talking to her, I stopped texting her, I stopped sitting near her, and I would leave when ever she came near. I burned all the bridges I had with her.
After a week or two she texted me asking if I hated her. I said that I didn't but that I didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. She asked why, to which I tried to explain. The last message she sent was "haha maybe I should just stop talking" I didn't reply.
Since then a number of mutual friends have expressed how they think I did the wrong thing. One claiming that I was a worst friend of his because of it. Another said that she was morally justified because she had a crush on me at one point. A third Claims it is the worst most evil thing I have done.
This shook my boat a bit and I tried to look back to see if there was any hint that number 2 was right, that she did like me, and there was. On one occasion A and I were talking about crushes and decided to play a yes or no game. I narrowed it down to me and one other person and she said no to the other (I was sure she didn't like me at the time). On a different occasion I was joking about how no one liked me to which she said that she would date me (I thought it was a joke so I moved on). And I even found a note I had received in similar handwriting to hers saying that I was pretty good looking.
So now I don't know what to think. It seems that most people think I was the asshole here. But a few others swear I wasn't.
TL;DR
I had this friend called A, she would say things that made me feel bad, I was trying to hide how I felt and didn't really acknowledge the insults. Enough was enough so I stopped talking to her. A few friends said it was a bad choice. I don't really know anymore.
Let me know if you need any more information
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vvcAQQzTH9lNt4HipPaxYOAMZuM0kPT3
|
av8wup
|
{
"description": "throwing away a dying snail that a kid showed me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for throwing away a dying snail that a kid showed me?
|
I'll try to keep this brief. I think IATA in this situation but decided I should seek an official answer so I can finally rest easy either way.
​
I was on a mission trip and there was another family there including a young boy, maybe around age 10, whose parents I'd gotten to know. For part of the trip we were near a beach. This kid pocketed a salt water sea snail. Later we were doing some work on a building that was being renovated and eventually would become a sort of community outreach place. The kid (who I was on good terms with) approached me to show me some things he collected at the beach. A few pebbles and a snail that was literally on death's door. We were a far bus ride back to town and there didn't seem to be anyway for this snail to survive. There was no running water at this building though water bottles were available and it was located near a neighborhood. This snail looked to be minutes from a cold, lonely death.
​
In my non expert opinion, it seemed there was literally no hope for this snail to live. Rather than let him walk around with a dead snail in his pocket, I told him we should "let it go." Well what I meant by this was basically let it die outside of his pocket. He later told his parents who seemed furious (in a very passive aggressive way) about this whole matter; pretty much ruined the relationship I had with them. But really, would it have been that much cooler for me to just let him walk around and then see the snail die in his pocket? I feel bad about it but need to verify I should. Or maybe I should've stuck it in a water bottle? but that seemed pointless (not sure it can even survive outside of salt water). Thanks reddit. I await your advice.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ti09i0XdoUDNltDxvMuysDtmUguzNukD
|
a4z1nb
|
{
"description": "not visiting my mentally ill sister",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not visiting my mentally ill sister?
|
I'm asking because I genuinely have no idea whether I'm doing the right thing.
My sister has mental health issues that are particularly ill at evening and night-time. I've been there for her for months, but tonight I just didn't have the energy. She has called me a few times tonight and flat-out asked if I can come over to help, but for the first time, I have said I need some rest and to get some work done.
I've moved back home with my parents to help her, and she lives in her own apartment in the same building. There are only two people that calm her down (to some extent), and that is me and my brother. My brother can't be there for her because he is going through a lot too, and is battling his own mind.
She is in treatment 3 times every week, but it hasn't helped. She has been severely depressed for over 10 years, and it only continues to get worse.
A normal night will start with us playing games, but she will gradually become hysterical. This happens every single night. She begins with becoming hyper, then hysterical, and then become delirious. A regular night involves self-harming in front of me, running outside to hurt herself, locking herself into the bathroom with medicines or a knife, being aggressive and violent towards me, crying hysterically and over-eating. It's clear that she is just looking for an outlet. She feels so hysterical and desperate, but nothing seems to give her peace...
I don't know what to do, but I have no more energy. It just doesn't get better, and I think she needs professional help. The doctors believe she is in the right treatment, but I can't see any improvement. I'm certain she will hurt herself tonight while I'm gone, and worried she will do something worse. I don't know what to do, but I have nothing more to give.
Still, it makes me feel like an asshole to not be there for her even though she is suicidal, should I pull myself together and go another mile? I can hear her crying hysterically through the wall, but I'm just sitting here enjoying a few hours of my own company.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pS9lHIa2MSYLGsua2036GffdqDmTIUGu
|
ak6qli
|
{
"description": "being upset that I wasn't part of my brother's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being upset that I wasn’t part of my brother’s wedding?
|
So my brother and I have always been fairly close (we have no other siblings), and a few years back, he told me he was going to propose to his long term girlfriend. I was ecstatic for him - I offered to go ring shopping with him (I’m female and he said he was clueless about rings), I jokingly asked to be best man or a groomsman (I wasn’t seriously expecting to be either), or literally anything else in the wedding, as I was (and still am) genuinely really happy for them.
The wedding day gets closer - I’m getting excited and my brother’s keeping me in the loop about who his groomsmen are going to be, venue, etc. Myself and my now sister-in-law have never been very close (as far as I’m aware, there’s no bad blood between us, we’re just very different people and have never really ‘clicked’, but she’s a great match for my brother and we get along well enough), so I’m not in the loop on her side of the planning, and that’s fine - I didn’t expect to be. I get the impression from my parents that she’s doing most of the wedding planning, as a lot of brides tend to do. Anyway, I hear through my parents that there probably aren’t going to be any bridesmaids, so I don’t think about it any further, and I’m just getting excited for the big day.
Big day roles around. We’re in the church service, and both her parents and my parents have certain roles in the ceremony (speeches etc), so for a good portion of it, I’m stood in the front row alone while they’re all up by the alter. Still, it’s no big deal, and I’m not questioning anything at this point. My sister-in-law starts coming down the aisle, and her sister (her only other sibling) and her best friend are bridesmaids. This is a surprise to me because I didn’t think she was having bridesmaids.
After the ceremony, we head to the reception. We’re all about to take our assigned seats for the meal, and my mother rushes over to me as I’m making my way to the head table (I’d just assumed I’d be sat there with my immediate family), and she tells me I’m not seated at that table. I’m really confused at this point - it’s just me, my brother and parents in the immediate family (and we’re not at all close with our extended family, particularly those on my father’s side, some of whom we hadn’t seen in years). My sister-in-law’s immediate family is just her sister and her parents, who are all seated at the head table at this point, along with my brother and my dad.
My mother tells me it’s not traditional for anyone other than the parents and the bridesmaids to be at the head table. She says it’s traditional for all other relatives to sit with the family they share a last name with, so I’m therefore seated with my dad’s family, who I barely know. I had and still have no real clue about traditional wedding etiquette (does this set-up sound right?), so even though I’m bummed I won’t be sat with them, it’s their day, so it’s their call, so I go and sit with dad’s family without complaint.
So for the whole meal, my immediate family are eating on the head table stage, having a great time, making speeches and taking tons of pictures. It was getting harder and harder to not cry as the meal went on (particularly when my bitchy aunt asked if I was upset that I wasn’t sat with them... ugh), but I managed to keep it together and act normal because i didn’t want to ruin their day. I was just really sad not to be part of it, and that was compounded by being sat with people who, frankly, are basically strangers to me.
The after party went on for a while and I barely got a chance to talk with my brother and now-sister-in-law because they were partying with their friends and her/my parents. When I did manage to speak with them, I made sure to congratulate them, tell them how great the venue was, how lovely her dress was etc etc, so I made sure not to make it about myself.
Towards the end of the night, everyone was drunk, and being an introvert at a social event, I was mostly either awkwardly trying to mingle with strangers, or awkwardly sitting by myself and trying not to appear awkward. It felt like being at a party with strangers, so I eventually called a taxi back to my hotel before my parents etc left (I don’t think they or my brother even noticed I left early).
Anyway, I didn’t say anything about it for about a year, because I don’t want to be THAT person - the a*hole who makes someone else’s wedding day all about them.
I did eventually ask my brother why it didn’t seem like he wanted me to celebrate with him - I also wasn’t in any of the photos throughout the day (or in the professional photos taken at the church before the ceremony), so it always just seemed strange to me. My brother said that his wife did most of the wedding planning, he mentioned the tradition thing like my mom had said, and he also said that it was basically just an oversight that I wasn’t really included on the day.
AITA for still being upset/confused by this? I keep thinking maybe I’m overreacting, but if I’m not overreacting then.... why didn’t they want me to be a part of their wedding day? I really don’t understand it because if I got married, I would want my big brother to be there with me throughout.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
GhH1Mz9fPCphYLIvAJSXziwxB7JabiXV
|
a3gnxx
|
{
"description": "not inviting a \"friend\" in friend group to a party",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not inviting a "friend" in friend group to a party?
|
So there's a girl from my old job who's in a group that keeps in touch with one another. I like everyone BUT this chick, and I'm the only one who calls her out on her crap. She's a very mean, douchey person who regularly makes others in my group of friends feel bad. She constantly criticizes people to their face or talks bad about other behind their back, but people are too nice in our group to ever kick her out or say anything. For reference, she told one of my other female friends that "she looks like she did her makeup in the dark."
I think it's because they know she's lonely but honestly you're over 21 years old, start to act like it. She even told one of my friends (who I'm pretty inclined to and have a close relationship with) that at another party I walked her out, gave her "a look", and then realized that people were around so I didn't make out with her, but that I wanted to. I can't even describe how much that made me want to projectile vomit everywhere, and the person she told that to was trying not to laugh during it.
So I'm having a Christmas party where I invited my old work friends and my friends from around the area that I've known forever. Everyone is cool and gets along except for this girl. I had a party at my house over summer and while there, she got too drunk, hit on one of my friends and made him super uncomfortable, puked in my backyard and on my bathroom wall, and just overall sucked. She actually went up to other girls at the party and said "Im the ugliest one here" and while hitting on my friend, who just met her, said "You only remember the pretty girls' names" when someone he already met had been brought up in conversation. On top of that, she never apologizes for being a straight up cunt.
So I'm not inviting her to my upcoming party, but I feel like I'll be labeled as a huge asshole for not inviting her. After all, I'm going out of my way to invite everyone individually instead of our group to keep her out, but she just sucks the life out of everything. She's rude, awkward, and not funny or cool enough to give her a pass on these sort of things. Am i the asshole, should i invite her and hope for the best?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OsxAqHlBWrBwEdLvYaxUiUHj4k9gFano
|
av62h9
|
{
"description": "ghosting my gf",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for ghosting my gf
|
Usually I’m (24m) the one who tries to comfort my gf when she’s sad and be there when she needs me, but this time roles are reversed.
In my childhood i went through a pretty traumatic period that I haven‘t told anyone about. I just kind of suppressed it by holing up and and later started with bodybuilding to get my confidence back up. last week I met one of the people who made my life hell back then, and when he told me i look better than the pussy i was back then, the memories just came back. When i got home i just started crying and wanted my gf to hold me for a while. She seemed more disgusted at seeing me like this (i believe it‘s the first time she saw me cry and the first time i cried in years) and left for a while. I feel like shit for getting emotional over it, and even my friend told me i was just being a pussy when i told him about it.
In the end i couldn’t take it and just packed my shit and have been holing myself up in a hotel again. I ignored all calls and texts from my gf, but now my friend called me and told me i was an asshole for ghosting her for no reason and leaving her only with the cash we had at home (she has no access to my account and I used to pay for almost everything, but she does work part time and i own the house so she should be fine for now). I just want to be alone for a while now. The one thing worse than being alone is being alone when someone is right next to you. AITA for running away?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
NTDvnuD2GMfqUo3umtwGU9RVmsXWoRFz
|
ausfcn
|
{
"description": "not wanting to draw for my friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to draw for my friend?
|
First off, I'm on mobile, I know the formatting sucks. Second off, I am very young.
Not to suck my own nipple or anything, but I'm good at art. I know I am. And I have a really close friend (who is a year older than me) and she likes my art and compliments it very often. Nothing wrong with that, right?
The problem is she ALWAYS begs for art. I dont like drawing for other people. I only draw for close family or my very best friend and art is a coping mechanism for me.
So I usually say no, and that's when she starts with the guilt tripping.
"Aw, but it wouldn't take that long."
"Am I annoying? Worthless? Would you miss me if I died?" (Over a DRAWING, mind you.)
"You hate being my friend right?"
And on and on.
I dont especially like having her as a friend and she has tried to claim my art as her own before and is always kind of manipulative.
I dont want to lose one of my very few friends and many of them tell me Im being harsh towards her.
So Reddit, Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
wsVUnUosoG3iQaEevfnM2kQqDfkLaMWj
|
awxso1
|
{
"description": "contracting an STD in a long-distance, open relationship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for contracting an STD in a long-distance, open relationship?
|
I (29M) was in a long distance relationship (26F) that was non-exclusive. We had great physical and emotional chemistry and fell in love fairly quickly. Since we were VERY far apart and both had healthy sex drives, we mutually decided to date/hook-up with other people until we were living in the same city, and then we would re-evaluate. There was a sense that even after we were living in a new city, we might continue to be open because we’d both previously been in relationships where our sex lives stagnated.
While we were living apart, a different girl and I hooked up after at a party. She told me she didn’t have any sort of STDs. I had been tested recently and hadn’t had unprotected sex since I had been tested. She was on birth control so we had sex without a condom.
Unfortunately it turns out she did have, and thus I contracted, an STD (chlymidiya). I got tested as part of a routine physical and it came back positive. I immediately went on anti-biotics for a week and then got re-tested and was clear of all STDs.
Fast forward a couple months and my girlfriend and I meet up and continued having sex. We always wear protection, and at this point, I’m completely clear of having any STDs. I never mention anything about the recent STD to her mostly because it’s embarrassing and because I took the necessary steps to make sure she wasn’t at risk.
She later was helping me pack and found some papers in my bag related to the test. When she asked me about it, I came clean and told her I got one, but that I made sure to take care of it ASAP, and that I’ve been clean every time I’ve slept with her.
She was very, very upset and said she never wanted to see me again. A couple days later she said she would try to move past it because we love each other so much. When we tried getting back together, it was clear that there was too little trust between us for the relationship to work so we ended things.
While I deceived her through omission, on a scale of 1-10, how big of an asshole am I? Also, on a scale of 1-10, how upset is she justified in being?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
DjJ2F0CNgLhQ2frDLiG7fLjqKLC32TqU
|
asi1sd
|
{
"description": "having no ounce of love for my brother at a young age",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For having no ounce of love for my brother at a young age?
|
This may sound like a typical run of the mill sibling rivalry, but I’m sick of everything and I can’t do much because I’m young.
Lets start off with my brother. Annoying, a druggie, high school drop out, and overall fucking jerk. 25 years old. Is “sick” and had/currently still has autism. My relationship with them is nonexistent, and always has been. I’ve tried to make amends, but its always ended in them just yelling at me and my parents taking his side for stupid situations that are clearly his fault. I’ve been verbally and physically abused by them ever since I can remember, from them busting my front teeth out while they were in high school over a slushie, to them constantly butting in to conversations and disrespecting my parents, constantly arguing with both me and my family, always threatening to smack me and cursing at them. My parents have done the best they can to help him out, from offering to give him money, get him a job, funding rehab and therapy classes, and he simply doesn’t want to do anything. All I’ve witnessed are constant fights over him stealing money and using any of the money that my parents DO give him to buy drugs. Theres not a single day that there isn’t an argument in my household. Its come to the point where I absolutely just hate being home and in my brothers presence in general, because all he does is call me a worthless brat, a bitch, and a few threats to bust my face in. He’s overstayed his welcome in this house, but my parents refuse to do anything with him and just baby him by putting him on a pedestal. When I did get extremely frustrated and voice my concerns to my mother in a car ride one day, she called me crazy, yelling at me that he’s my brother and that to not pay attention to him because he’s “sick.”
However, I simply cannot just ignore him anymore when it’s been happening for all my life, and him having a mental disorder doesn’t give him any more of an excuse to be an asshole. I’m pretty open in saying that if this man got into a car accident one day, then I wouldn’t feel sorry or worried at all.
AITA for feeling this way towards someone who I SHOULD be relatively close to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
X1hvduDSMVERC26Kr7R134obYYJTjTy0
|
9vpg26
|
{
"description": "getting pissed at my friend for",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting pissed at my friend for
|
Alright, so first I'd like to apologize for my english, as I'm not a native speaker.
Second, this is a throwaway account, as my friends know my usual tag.
Now, onto my story. Basically, we're 8-10 guys, who all know each other irl. Me and the server owner have known each other for around 10ish years, and we're basically best friends. Now, about half of the server plays League of Legends, and the other half makes a few jokes about it. Nothing serious, usually it's stuff like: "Why don't you stop playing that shitty game and play \[insert random game the whole server could play together\]." It's usually all in good fun, ( at least that's what I thought) and we all have a good laugh about it. But today was different. I make the same joke as always, but instead of the usual laugh all of us have, the server owner creates a voice channel and locks it for all of the people that don't play League.
It's also not the first time he's done things that are - in my opinion at least - a misuse of the admin priviliges on the discord server. He moves people into different channels randomly, mutes people for everyone, and stuff like that. It's usually only small pranks that last for maybe 10 seconds tops, and we usually laugh about it. It's just today that I've realized that stuff like that has gotten more and more frequent.
After talking to another person that doesn't play League for a bit, I decided to leave the server. Am I the asshole for getting all pissed about what's basically my best friend excluding half of our group from talking with the other half? Obviously I don't know what the League players think about this, since they've been in the locked channel. So I'd like reddits opinion. Am I the Asshole here for getting pissed about what's basically a running gag under friends, or is he for taking it too far?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4CeJJg0apuuXFqdJ3xiDqmv7WugBTvWV
|
ad1lk4
|
{
"description": "telling my Bestfriend's new girlfriend to go fuck herself",
"pronormative_score": 658,
"contranormative_score": 127
}
|
AITA for telling my Bestfriend’s new girlfriend to go fuck herself?
|
A couple of hours ago me and my wife went to dinner with my best friend to meet his new girlfriend for the first time. My buddy introduced her and greet each other and then immediately after she looks me up and down and tell me that the shirt I’m wearing is “hideous”.
Now I will not lie, I’m not a fan of flannels buuuut my wife bought me this one for Christmas. Which means this is now my favorite shirt.
I notice a look of shock on my wife’s face and then I looked this girl dead in the eye and told her to go fuck herself.
She storms off and my buddy gives me this what just happened look and then follows her and they eventually leave.
Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 43,
"OTHER": 656,
"EVERYBODY": 84,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 15
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 658,
"WRONG": 127
}
|
RIGHT
|
aA224zbLxDGOP53RN2sNIjqZ9EnwACcw
|
9z7ib4
|
{
"description": "not apologizing after hitting someone with the door",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not apologizing after hitting someone with the door?
|
AITA for hitting a co-worker with the door because she was hanging out on the other-side? How would I know she is standing there, when I can't see her? She does this all the time, and I have hit her with the door in the past a few times and apologized, and she looks at me like I'm an asshole for hitting her, like I did it on purpose.
This time I didn't apologize, because quite frankly I'm sick of it, like don't stand on the other side of the door and you won't get hit with it! Usually she is just standing there talking to someone at a nearby desk. I feel she owes me an apology for always being in the GD way.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
L79z9EAP4jwXAxwkhbxVML2h2cHJkdi5
|
b7l3g5
|
{
"description": "bringing up a coworker/friend's social awkwardness in an attempt to be constructive",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I brought up a coworker/friend’s social awkwardness in an attempt to be constructive?
|
For some context, I have a job in college with this other guy, let’s call him John. This job is relevant to the career field that we both want to get into. Getting into said career field is 99.99% about who you know. We both interned for this school job for 7 weeks and it was very intensive so we grew quite close, but had it not been for the internship, I wouldn’t really have anything to do with this guy (for this I’m definitely an ass hole, but I do stick by this guy now and I have his back 100%)
John is kind of “stuck in high school” in regard to his maturity level. He is very outgoing but also socially awkward, so it makes a weird mix. He’s desperate for attention, and he’s still a virgin and he’s obsessed with losing his virginity. I am also a virgin, and I have reassured him not to worry about it. I never bring it up with him and every time he brings it up with me (which is every time I see him, in some way he brings it up) I assure him that he’s getting worked up about nothing. He thinks that people need to laugh at everything he says so he try’s wording everything like a stand up skit, even when it’s very important to be serious, he is still joking. And a lot of the humor is self deprecating which I have already told him is unbecoming, but it’s the only way he gets any attention. He can’t whisper or keep a secret for his life either. He has 2 modes, this comedian mode, and his networking mode where is more serious, but it’s very ingenue.
Would I be an ass if I brought up my concerns with him?
TL;DR would I be an ass hole if I brought up my friend’s social awkwardness?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3o8tJygCfjLrl9pSHielEXiemmgploMl
|
axp65p
|
{
"description": "telling my mom if I invite my brother to my wedding for her sake she's responsible for his conduct",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my mom if I invite my brother to my wedding for her sake she's responsible for his conduct?
|
I was not going to invite my oldest brother to my wedding. It has never been my plan to invite him.
He is 20 years older than me and lives in a different state. We have no relationship - he was out of the house by the time I was born and then moved across the country and then when he came back to the east coast he was still 5+ hours away. We never talk. We aren't even Facebook friends. I see him maybe once every 2-3 years if he shows up at my mom's on a holiday (which he only does if his football team is in town and he can catch a game while he's here).
He's also a dick. He lives for trolling and antagonizing people and insulting them, and he thinks it's hilarious. He finds excuses to make everything political because he likes getting into arguments. The few occasions I \*do\* see him, I would much rather not. I don't like who he is as a person.
Well my mom asked if I was inviting him and when I said "no" she threw a giant guilt trip. I explained my reasoning and she said she was disappointed in me that I couldn't do this for her. "I just really wanted an opportunity to see all of my children together." (Idk why she can't make her own opportunity. Like on Mother's Day. Or her birthday. Or literally any day other than my wedding).
So I told her "I will invite him if it is that important to you, but if he gets political or starts an argument or offends me or any of my guests even if he 'doesn't mean to' or 'is just joking', he is being told to leave immediately and you need to back me up on that. And if you don't, I'll ask you to leave too."
She hasn't responded but my close brother thinks it was unnecessary to put that responsibility on her and that I'm being an ass about it. I think that if she "knows" my oldest brother won't be a problem then it shouldn't be an issue to agree to my terms.
AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
qCbfwXfpp74i0T85kpaWcBOXDHN5TFfs
|
b34rje
|
{
"description": "wanting to sleep on my wife's side of the bed",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting to sleep on my wife's side of the bed?
|
My wife and I have a good marriage. We have been married for 4 years. However, one of the things we sometimes argue about is where we sleep on the bed.
I sleep on the left side of the bed, and she sleeps on the right side. It's a queen bed. I'm 6ft, 180 lbs so it's not a size thing (and she's much smaller than me). It's just that I feel like I need variety in my surroundings, and switching the side of the bed every few months fills that need for me.
On the other hand, my wife feels like she needs consistency. She feels like she needs some things to be hers, and one of those things is her side of the bed. She feels like switching sides violates that need.
In our first year of marriage I slept on the left side. Then we moved residences and I was able to switch to the right side of the bed. We switched without talking about it - I wanted the right side and my wife didn't care (because we just moved). Honestly I think she didn't even notice; I spoke about it with her recently and she didn't even remember. Then after another year we moved to our current location and I again switched to my current location: the left side of the bed. Like last time, I wanted to switch and she didn't even notice.
Now, we've been living in the same residence for 2 years and I'm getting antsy. I've been sleeping on the left side this whole time and I still am. I've been asking to switch for months, and she's been asking to keep her side. She has tried to compromise by switching for one night, and it was nice, but it's only one night and we only did it twice. She also tried to compromise by giving me the only nightstand, but I don't really need it.
What I ideally want is to switch every 6 months, but I'm open to different time frames or ideas. The reason why I'm posting here is because she says that nobody regularly switches sides of the bed and I'm weird for wanting that.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
cN94zCGbnHv7jLB0UoJWAUijrtCmmC1i
|
b9s3xm
|
{
"description": "not wanting to write an animal watching review for my ex",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to write an animal watching review for my ex?
|
TLDR @ bottom.
I [M30] broke up with my ex [F27] just before Valentine's day. We are on lease at a two bedroom apartment, and stay out of each other's way. It's basically come down to me moving in with my parents at the end of April and splitting my half of the rent so we can try to move on.
I've tried to keep thing quite and drama free. But last night she asked if I could write her a review for animal watching. I have seen her take care of co-workers pets. She did well with a bunny, feeding it twice a day. And I helped with a cat by going over myself after work one day. Those examples are good.
But for dogs... I took a lot of responsibility for. We would watch her roommate's dog or my step Brothers dog. I felt I took most of the walk duty. This eventually burdened me when she wanted to get a dog. We are on the 4th floor. I can't handle that by myself, so I warn her and she assures me she will help. But next dog sitting we had, she bailed on a promise to walk it before bed, saying she will take early morning. That didn't happen either.
On top of that, I really feel she has negected her cat after the break up. I love this cat and happy to take care of it, but when it tries to play with her, she ignored it and even locks it out of her room. It's really disheartening. She doesn't want to change the litter since I took on that chore, and is expecting me to refill his water fountain.
So when she asked me for a review, I ignored at first. When she followed up, I said "sorry, you should ask people you pet sat for".
She has said "I dunno why you're being difficult but whatever." "But if you don't feel like helping for whatever reason, that's fine." And ended with "I just don't understand why you have to continue to make my life difficult".
I've said nothing in response. She doesn't need this review for money, she has a better job than I do, and recently just accepted a job offer after turning down a promotion. Lastly I fail to see why she even needs it from me.
AITA for not writing a bullshit review to make things easier?
TLDR: my ex wants a review for animal watching, I have honest, mixed opinions on her experience and told her no. she has a great job and lots of friends, so I don't think she needs this from me, but still claims I'm making her life difficult.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AmiiVR2rnpVmnDGEIxDSyhHQMmG2cCjZ
|
awb2x9
|
{
"description": "not wanting to date anyone with mental health issues",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to date anyone with mental health issues?
|
My dad has suffered from depression for the last 30 years. He does nothing to help himself and expects my mother to make allowances for him. As I have grown older I feel like I have to make those allowances too. I have to be careful what I say around him because a throwaway comment can and has been used later on in an argument my mother has with my dad (I could joke that my mother has had too much wine and six months later my dad will say "look, even the kids say you drink too much") . My mother says my dad wasn't always like this, and has gotten worse since the depression diagnosis, suggesting he is milking it. AITA for not wanting to subject myself to the same misery my mother has endured since before I was born?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zY01oBlihoTpJECpKkCYh2NRZuPAEJES
|
9tyc9m
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to bring her cat when she moves in",
"pronormative_score": 121,
"contranormative_score": 941
}
|
AITA if I don't want my girlfriend to bring her cat when she moves in?
|
It's safe to say that I am a dog person. I've always loved dogs and always had dogs, and my dog that I have now is my best bud. I love how social they are and how much they show love back to their humans, and that they are smart and trainable.
I definitely do not like cats. Lots of people love them and that's fine. But I personally do not even slightly see the appeal of taking care of an animal that doesn't give two shits if you live or die, and that takes an insane amount of training and effort to learn even basic commands...which they will only ever do if they feel like it. I can't count how many times I've been scratched or bitten by a cat for no other reason than I dared to go near it. So yeah. Not a fan.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for coming up on one year and she is a one in a million girl. When we're apart I often find myself just wanting to spend time together, she is wickedly funny and always making me laugh out loud, and an amazing artist. And, she has a cat.
It is not a particularly bad cat or anything, as far as cats go. Very average. But I am so the opposite of a cat person that even average is bad. Have you ever hated someone so much that every little thing annoys you? That's what cats are like to me, and this cat is just everywhere when I am hanging out at my girlfriend's apartment. Jumping up and down from shelves, stepping on my crotch, kneading my leg with its paws and most importantly *claws*, yowling outside the bedroom door whenever I spend the night. My girlfriend of course loves him and doesn't see any flaws.
All of this wouldn't be a problem, but as I said we are approaching one year and I have been thinking about our future together. I can see myself marrying this girl, and I want her to move in with me. But I do not want to have a cat. I don't even know if my dog will get along with it, and I *know* I won't get along with it.
I've tried to talk to my girlfriend about the issue and she just turns stone fucking cold.
"Hey maybe (cat) can live with your parents when we move in together." (They are in the same city as us.)
"No. We're a package deal."
I tried very calmly and rationally explaining to her the issue and she outright said that I need to figure out what's more important to me because either they both move in with me or we break up and stop wasting each others' time. Just full ultimatum and holding the relationship hostage.
I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place here. If she's playing hardball, would it be an asshole move for me to play hardball right back and say that she can't move in until she rehomes the cat?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 941,
"OTHER": 118,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 121,
"WRONG": 941
}
|
WRONG
|
Ja2jusjAo26D22CdNDj7KQ2T8xmH2nXt
|
b4f3og
|
{
"description": "returning my ex's love ring and purse",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for returning my ex’s love ring and purse?
|
So I had bought my ex girlfriend a Cartier love ring and and Chloe bag for her birthday as gifts. Quite expensive gifts for an average dude like myself. A week later I discover she’s been texting with an old friend of hers call him the love of her life. I broke up with her and returned the gifts I had gotten her for her bday. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HErUL5jQN3Wv927mYXG8FAVMN9PccBhu
|
a6m1my
|
{
"description": "being angry that my bipolar brother is off his meds. again",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being angry that my bipolar brother is off his meds. Again.
|
My bipolar brother who is heavily dependent on his medication revealed to me tonight that not only has he stopped taking his meds but that he also stopped seeing his therapist as far back as a month ago. And purposely kept it from everyone.
I LOVE my brother completely. We're four years apart but we've always shared everything. People sometimes confuse us for twins but we just roll with it, and, honestly, love it. We have
similar interests and love debating most things, especially, "hot topics" like religion and politics.
We both suffer from depression, anxiety and ADHD, however, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when he was in early high school and, most recently, borderline personality disorder. His manic/depression made it very hard for him to make friends with other kids and opened him up to a lot of bullying; to the point that he had to withdraw from public high school and finish the rest online. I've always supported him and been his number one fan, although, I was quite cruel to him when I was in middle school. I think about this often and regret my every action during this time. I was a hurting kid with no outlet and I, without mercy, rained my suffering down upon him.
Because I believe that I had a substantially negative role on him growing up, I have since modified my behavior towards him now that I am an adult and not some awful, hormone ruled monster. I try to be everything to him that I had the inability to be to him before: supportive, generous, loving, excepting. He truly is an amazing human being...except when he's not on his meds.
That's when his mania is unleashed. I have been around him all his life so I know when he is manic. It's something in his voice, the way he gestures, the way his face contorts when he thinks no one is looking. He's not my brother anymore. And it's only made worse by alcohol because that's when he starts hallucinating. He starts telling me about how everything he's ever told me is a lie and that he's never cared about me. How he's lied about seeing a therapist and how he's manipulated everyone around him for the sheer joy of doing it. The ways he's used me and taken pleasure in my pain. There have been multiple times where he has made me cry in public or made me remove myself and himself from certain circumstances in public.
It makes me extremely distressed to see my brother go manic so I usually start crying. Literally begging him to calm down and see sense and if he still doesn't listen, I involve my parents as a last ditch effort.
That's when he starts gas-lighting me. Tells my parents that I've just gotten upset at nothing and he doesn't understand why I'm acting so hysterical. That it is unfair and harsh and "weird" that I should be reacting to him in this way. That I'm "freaking him out" because I expressing remorse over the news he so casually tossed me. Of course he sounds all calm and reasonable while I can't get a word out because I'm so upset that this is happening again.
That's when my parents turn on me and tell me to stop bullying my brother, literally yell at me for the way I'm behaving. He's got anxiety so he's somehow afforded a leniency, dudes, I HAVE ANXIETY TOO! But they always take his side because they haven't seen the physically hostile, manipulative, arrogant, lying person my brother turns into when he's off his meds.
I'm afraid of him. He showed himself tonight. Saying it was all cool that he had lied about seeing a therapist and taking meds for about a month, but then when I tried to alert my parents to this, he completely diverts the discussion in a way that invalidates what I have to say. I'm the bad guy, apparently. Nobody has seen him at his worst but me. I don't think that I should be shamed for being angry at him for ignoring his regimented medication.
He's on my parents' healthcare, there's no excuse for not seeking treatment. I'm so disappointed. I can't go through this toxic rollercoaster again. Now I'm going to have to face my parents in the morning because my “hysterics” woke them up when he came clean that he wasn't on meds. By the way, he swears up and down that he didn't actively lie, he just didn't communicate what was going on.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
sghd8f4KyRt5aP76zMOunNK6x8qBFGAF
|
b4dt5k
|
{
"description": "fighting with my sister about something racist her boyfriend said/did in a public family gathering",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for fighting with my sister about something racist her boyfriend said/did in a public family gathering?
|
Just looking for some clarity on this situation because it is getting very muddy and convoluted and I can’t think straight about it anymore.
At my one sisters 18th bday party at a Japanese steakhouse, my whole family came out to celebrate. At the end of the meal the manager came by to say hello and that she hoped we’d enjoyed our meals. when she walked away, my OTHER sisters bf (we are all in our twenties, he is in late twenties) pulled his eyes back and mocked what she had just said, talking in a fake Japanese accent. IN A PUBLIC PLACE WITH PEOPLE RIGHT BY US. It was hibachi so there was a whole row of people facing us.
I was mortified and so was my other sister whose birthday it was. I told him it was not acceptable. Then we all moved on. (My sister whose boyfriend it was just laughed along with it, which baffled me).
Two days later I asked that sister via text “how did (her boyfriend’s) imitation at the restaurant make you feel?” to which she replied with an insult totally unrelated about my boyfriend. All hell breaks loose. I say really mean things. I was trying to be nice and lost it and instead went full blown telling her exactly how I felt, that what he did was immature and embarrassing and racist.
A week goes by. She asks for an apology. I apologized for losing my temper, then followed it up with the fact that I still stood by my stance that she should have condemned his behavior instead of changing the subject to attack my bf. All hell breaks loose again as she replies thanks for the apology BUT I have decided that I don’t want to discuss my relationship with you anymore so you don’t get to ask me about that.
It devolves into a giant mess of her accusing me of wanting to control his behavior and her reaction to it, and results in him texting me that I am a horrible person and I have no sense of humor and that I can’t infringe in his freedom of speech (he is extremely right wing) and how it was just a joke. Now we may never speak again. She told him literally everything i said, even texts where I was upset after she attacked me and was being very harsh about everything.
She says it’s not my right to dictate if she approves or disapproves of his actions and it’s none of my business if they talked about it. I say that he can’t be doing that at our family gatherings. He said he doesn’t care if he offends me because I’m a sensitive snowflake libtard, basically. (I’m not, I’m moderate.) Everyone in my family disagreed with what he did and said it was rude. We may never have a relationship again because we can’t agree.
AITA In this whole mess? I can’t tell anymore.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
q0f1vxQQ0KnRehTYkb7QtOdlkMURunNv
|
9xi1iz
|
{
"description": "leaving a friend at a bar",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving a friend at a bar?
|
Set up: I got out of the Army in July and started attending college on the west coast in the Fall. Most of my old Army buddies are in completely different areas of the country so I basically never see them and only stay in touch via text. About a month ago one of my best friends (let's call him Brian) from the Army committed suicide. Shot himself in the head, left no note. We knew he was struggling a bit in his transition out of the military but none of us, including his girlfriend, knew it was hurting him that bad. A friend (let's call her Ashley) I made here at college looked after me the entire following weekend to make sure I didn't lose it.
Story: A few weeks after the suicide Ashley, myself and another mutual friend of ours (let's call her Angela) go out to a bar and Ashley finds a guy to dance with while I go and have a few drinks. I have a few too many and everything about Brian committing suicide hits me all at once. I just completely break down at the bar. Angela finds me, comforts me (turns out she had a friend who also committed suicide) and offers to take me home. I'm pretty trashed at this point and the bar was closing soon anyway so I accept, get home, and crash.
Apparently neither me nor Angela had thought to text Ashley that Angela was taking me home. Angela went straight back to the bar after dropping me off but in the meantime Ashley had realized she didn't know where we were and had gotten kicked out of the bar while looking for us (apparently she was trying to push her way through the crowds and the bouncer thought she was trying to start a fight).
Ever since then whenever that night has been brought up she's been semi-angrily accused me or teased me about leaving her at the bar, even after I've apologized numerous times for not texting her where that I was leaving (though in my defense I was pretty hammered). She knows I was upset about something but I don't think she knows exactly why, though she is aware of my friend's suicide.
Every time she brings it up and uses it as an accusation or way of teasing me it makes me angry because it feels like she's trying to make me feel guilty about grieving for one of my closest friends. I don't think she would ever actually try to make me feel guilty about it, but it's how it comes across. Also worth noting Ashley is kind of emotionally closed off as a result of some bad experiences she's had that affected her pretty deeply.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ATljEN8y0Hx3pumyBRiHg8ppLMR6b6FA
|
a2ytmb
|
{
"description": "not paying my roommates part of the rent after she has to go back home",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not paying my roommates part of the rent after she has to go back home?
|
A friend (no longer) and I decided we would rent a room together for the summer (2 months). In the middle of the second month she told me she was going back home and since she was leaving she was only going to pay for half the rent of the second month. She told me I had to pay the rest since I was going to have the room to myself. She gave me a sob story of why she had to go home. At first I agreed but then decide it wasn't right and told her she still had to pay for the full month since that was the original agreement. I was a working student barely making enough but some mutual friends believe I acted unfairly since she was going through something. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
swmIvZBf05nYSoTDe0Q0fUdoaJxeqTrb
|
b7s2lc
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for lifts",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay for lifts?
|
Disclaimer: writing this on behalf of my gf and from her perspective.
Occasionally I get a ride to work with my good friend and co-worker who lives near me, as I can't drive. However, every time I catch a lift, he charges me quite a bit of money. I think this is unfair, as we have the same destination, and where he drives to means that I'm late for work every time I need to rely on him (although we work at the same place, I work at a different part of the site, so I need to walk for 15 minutes after he's stopped).
He's unwilling to change his routine to be earlier so that I'm not late, I've tried that avenue before. And public transport can't get me to work reliably, which is why I rely on lifts.
I'd understand if it was to help pay for petrol, but he's usually very tight fisted with money anyway, despite being very well off - and seems to be taking advantage of the situation to profit off of his friends.
tl;dr: My friend (been friends for years) charges me for lifts to the place we work, despite always making me late, and not having to change his driving route to pick me up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 5
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
rzQ5DmE6PCX1b7Lw7IguJIuEYZQIXtIc
|
9xat0q
|
{
"description": "not caring about my girlfriend's problems anymore",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not caring about my girlfriend's problems anymore
|
My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly 4 years. I have helped her out a hell of a lot as she was having a hard time with her family, work, and friends. It was causing her a lot of stress.
During this time, she seemed to basically invent problems for herself, constantly operating at very high emotion, as if the latest 'thing' was a complete catastrophe and she would then decide to just give up and not try with anything, until the issue was either resolved on its own or was fixed by me. These problems are mostly of her own making
We talked by this, as I eventually couldn't really cope with it anymore (my friends started getting very worried about me being depressed) and it got us both down even though there wasn't really much 'bad' going on in either of our lives. She said she didn't realise she did this at all, and that she was just making normal conversation etc. and would try to be a bit calmer.
I wasn't expecting a major difference, but there's not really been much of a difference at all. When she texts/talks to me now with a new 'thing' followed by the usual stuff she sends like 'i give up' etc. I just ignore it and let her be upset with me, because she is going to be upset anyway and there's nothing I can do about it, so at least then it doesn't effect me quite as much.
Does that make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
eRIHBUvrAbsFUcIlso1bPUN6XaKg00MO
|
9ya758
|
{
"description": "running a business competitor out of business",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for running a business competitor out of business?
|
First off some context.
I’m currently in school (Year 10 to be exact or 9th grade in America) and for the last 2 years I have been selling sweets in school. Bringing in a profit of roughly £50 a day average.
Recently a kid who is two years below me began selling stuff as well. Sensing a threat I began selling stuff cheaper for a while so his stuff looked expensive. After around 2 weeks he gave up. Then I went in and bought all of his stock from him for really cheap and sold it on. My friends said this was a dick thing to do, is it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Y8il6gUp6fQcJSNiQwrcQA7ZCl1xjR0G
|
b1qazb
|
{
"description": "being mad at my girlfriend for asking me if I'm gay again",
"pronormative_score": 108,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at my girlfriend for asking me if I’m gay again?
|
So I’m a heterosexual male and my girlfriend is a bisexual female. Throughout my life I’ve been asked if I’m gay several times, at school, at work, to friends. I don’t mind telling people that I’m straight, I guess I give off a vibe that I’m gay, it’s no big deal I don’t mind. Usually nobody questions it.
So I started dating my girlfriend about about 5 months ago and she got the idea that maybe I’m gay. When we first started dating I got a little nervous during sex and had trouble climaxing, hasn’t been much of an issue since then. She told one of her friends about it and she gave her the idea that maybe I’m gay. She asked me and I told her that I’m actually straight. Well since then she’s questioned me several times about it. Once she even searched through my porn history to confirm that I’m not watching gay porn. Well it’s been couple months and today she asked me again if I was gay and told me that if I was then she’d want to know. I got pretty annoyed because this is getting old.
Look it’s 2019, and if I was gay i really feel like id be comfortable with it by now, I understand homosexual people have a lot of challenges coming out, but I feel like I have to defend my sexuality to my girlfriend and it’s frustrating that I’m not taken seriously when I say that I’m straight. I think it’s a little hypocritical that I’m not taken seriously when I tell her that I’m in to women. I understand this has happened to LGBTQ+ people in the past but that seems like something we should be past by now, especially considering my girlfriend is bi.
So AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend and her friend who doesn’t accept that I’m straight.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 104,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 108,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
N09BSJ9aWhJkePGMMliTx9fXOkA6jZ9W
|
a55c57
|
{
"description": "telling my long time friend and brother in law that his focus on my daughter is not ok thus ruining the relationship and my wife's with her sister",
"pronormative_score": 314,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for telling my long time friend and brother in law that his focus on my daughter is not ok thus ruining the relationship and my wife’s with her sister.
|
So my friend I have known since kindergarten ( I’m almost 40) married my wife’s sister. Over the past year he has developed what we perceive as an infatuation with my daughter. She is 3. Examples: calls her “my Betsy”, refers to himself as your uncle all creepily, a picture of her on his dash board, his phone screen saver is her, coming over just to see her and basically ignoring all the adults, trying to face time just to see her everyday, seriously every day. The way he just focused solely on her creeped me out.We have slowly been distancing ourselves from him. Well this weekend my wife and I had to leave town for the day and we found out he made plans with my mother in law to come over after we left to spend time with my daughter(MIL was baby sitting). I only found out because I heard him call and ask MIL if we were still there, we left late.. So he’s basically going behind our backs to see her. Also over the past year his hygiene has gotten awful. He smells so bad he literally ruined my couch and when he would hug my daughter it would leave his BO smell on her. It’s just fucking strange. So I called him out for his creepy behavior and going behind our backs to see my daughter and he got immediately got defensive and went to the extreme of saying I was accusing him of being a child molester. Sister in law freaked out and says she won’t talk to us anymore. My wife is pretty upset because she might lose her sister over this. I confided in one friend that’s known him just as long about his behavior and he agreed it was not appropriate. Well AITA? Should I have kept my mouth shut?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 309,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 314,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
RIGHT
|
Uq3zOXRi29xo7dmYurMJKV5FsqvGvi9U
|
ad0jqt
|
{
"description": "calling my sister retarded for not accepting our criminal relative's planned inheritance",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA For calling my sister Retarded for not accepting our criminal relative's planned inheritance?
|
Throwaway acc for obvious reasons.
I have a relative who is very wealthy. The only problem is, he's a known pedophile.
He plans to give me and my sister 7 million dollars each when he dies. Now im not saying he is a good person but i will gladly take 7 mil from him even if hes done the horrible things he did.
She told him to "fuck off and dont leave me anything. I dont want to be connected to you at all"
I told her she was retarded for not taking the 7 mil. Now she is calling me pathetic and an ass. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
fu7L5yD7alQJuR0LHT6G4WJxMqsLBe3s
|
aktfai
|
{
"description": "filing a charge back against an artist who got my character wrong",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for filing a charge back against an artist who got my character wrong?
|
Commissioned an artist, send them *multiple* references (12-15) of my character and they STILL messed it up on the final product. I asked if they could fix it and they told me it would cost extra since its difficult to fix when it’s done and it’s not “their fault” if I didn’t say anything during the WIPS but I didn’t notice??? Besides it’s the artists job to get the drawing right not me! They shouldn’t have messed it up in the first place, that’s a huge red flag. I said I wasn’t paying extra and would file a chargeback if they didn’t fix it (spoiler alert: I did). The artist is not happy but obviously I’m not either, I didn’t get what I wanted. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
WRONG
|
Eu0VBraZRGJgmIQAEVmQjitltcCTNAbq
|
b6r971
|
{
"description": "calling out a girl for always trying to condescend me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I call out a girl for always trying to condescend me?
|
So I belong to an organization at school and know plenty of people there. We have our own “families” with people we share interests or whatever based on a survey. Anyways, I have a big “sister” and brother, some siblings and my own little. The big “sister” I was assigned last year has always treated me differently. I’ve always tried to be nice but she always condescends me or argues.
For example, these guys who are her friends did something then I did the same thing and she said what I did was childish and she also said I shouldn’t do it. There was a time she yelled at me because someone outside was smoking and I told her to close the window and also said who cares when she wanted to report him. Apparently it’s against the lease to smoke outside of your house? But this girl supplies alcohol and there’s people under 21 so I’m sure that’s MORE illegal. She does lots of computer science and talks shit about her co workers or other classmates in class like, “oh they never do anything” or she complained how people send short resumes to where she works on campus yet I’ve applied before and the place to put your resume has a small space to type in
When I’ve asked her questions she responds like, “yeah...” and gives me that look people give when you think they just asked the dumbest question ever. Anyways, she hates me, she’s turned this one girl I liked against me. I don’t know WHY she hates me, I’ve tried telling her sorry before and talk but she shuts me down. I can’t NOT be around her, we have family nights at my house since my roommate is in the same fam so sometimes I have no choice.
Idk what to do, but honestly, maybe I’m sexist but if a dude talked to me the way she did, they’d be getting into a fight. I wanna call her out or something but I don’t want people to be mad at me. She’s totally fine with most people except me.
Never knew why and it’s like I wanna give her a reason to hate me now. If I call her out or start being a dick then at least she’d HAVE a reason to hate me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GtHzdeDBeddevmfPwR5YGvcz6XVetdSN
|
b7k85t
|
{
"description": "cutting off my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I cut off my best friend
|
OK so both of us are in high school and are seniors. Last year we were super close (hung out almost every day) and she was the first person I opened up to bout my depression. I thought our friendship was gonna last outside of school. But lately she has been very distant from me. She makes excuses that she can't hang out (her most recent saying she couldn't face time because her bf was asleep) but she always snaps me pics of her hanging out with all her other friends.
Now we still get along great when we actually hang out but lately she been pushing me off to the side to talk to her bf and I'm all for them hanging out like I think they a good couple but it's gotten to the point it's taking a huge toll on our friendship.
So WIBTA if I just cut her out because she really doesn't seem like she cares about me?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2vqJZEfS3EwoxccY9EaKygZHaf6g7U4Z
|
axtkgq
|
{
"description": "refusing my grandparents a funeral plot",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing my grandparents a funeral plot?
|
I‘m a 22 and a caregiver paid by the state to care for my grandparents. With the paycheck I receive, I pay my bills and every now and then some of their bills or other miscellaneous purchases ($200+ one time because my grandmother saw a “free trial” for a back massager but didn’t know she’d have to pay after 20 days; she’s learned since then).
A year ago, my grandma befriended a woman that sold her on beginning a payment plan for a combined funeral plot for both herself and my grandpa. She would need to deposit about $4,000 and then monthly payments of $294 to eventually total $22,000+ for the combined plot - she ended up throwing together whatever she had saved and borrowed the rest from friends because she couldn’t afford the rest of the deposit. My dad mentioned that I am “responsible for it since I’m making money off them” even though I protested to both him and my grandmother. To me, it didn’t make sense to pay for something even I couldn’t afford.
This was met with anger.
My dad said that I’m letting my grandparents die and he refuses to pay for such bills as he already pays for their apartment utilities and my grandpa’s bank loan.
My grandma, who I explained to many times that I cannot afford this nor can she, insisted I keep paying as the money she both borrowed and saved would be wasted. For both sides, there was an implication that since I was working for them, they had a right to guide where that money I earned from them went to.
As of right now, I’m currently alright paying off the funeral plan, my car, insurance, student loan interest, and credit card bills. In about 6 months, I will possibly be losing the home I’ve been living in due to my parents divorcing and have mentioned to my grandma that with rent and my own utilities, I will not be able to pay everything as apartments where I live typically go for $2,000-$4,000+. I’ve told her when the time comes for me to move out, I will cancel the funeral payments and even find her a replacement caregiver so I can focus on school. I’ve been constantly listening to her crying about my living situation, my parent’s relationship, and how I will earn my money but she still insists to keep the funeral payments. She even calls me every now and then to make sure I’ve paid the monthly charge, which I’ve assured her I have.
Anyway, what do you guys think? I love my grandparents a lot but as a struggling college student, I don’t know if I can keep this up.
TL;DR - Getting paid to take care of grandparents by the state. Grandma gets set up to pay for a $22,000+ funeral plot that she cannot afford; borrows money from friends and gives up her savings for deposit. I’m paying $294 every month for it, but I have bills to pay and need to save for apartment deposit since I’m losing my house. AITA for wanting to cancel the payment due to my own financial situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SnPhOSucDPfHFpFPiw4DaLI1na1kuQu6
|
b68tb2
|
{
"description": "asking the cashier to excuse the extra penny",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for asking the cashier to excuse the extra penny?
|
I’m only 15. I went into a local sandwich shop where you order at one counter, they make your sandwich, then you pay at another counter. I grabbed a drink and chips as well and did the math in my head, happy I had enough money. Well, being a stupid 15 year old, I forgot tax was a thing. My total came out to exactly $12.01. I had $12. The lady gestured to the take a penny leave a penny but it was empty. I started to ask if it mattered but I guess she realized what I was about to ask and told me to go put something back, along with a disapproving look. It was only one penny. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
j3DDyQTsMa5sBo3ITydvxY6FWn10h8ho
|
b9jj2z
|
{
"description": "thinking about unmatching this girl from a friends app because of this",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for thinking about unmatching this girl from a friends app because of this??
|
So I’ve been using bumble BFF to get to know some new girls in the area and I matched this one girl and the convo started as normal she seemed nice. Complimented me too, which was nice and I did the same back. Asked me how I am etc and I replied
But then she said she was feeling ill with a sore throat and I said ooh I know the feeling I was like that not long ago, it’s been going round.
So then the convo carries on etc etc and then I said I also have exams so I’m so stressed. And she says oh me too, and I kinda just carried on the convo. Then all of a sudden out the blue she starts saying, can’t sleep well lately because I’ve been really depressed and nothing makes me happy and I feel really isolated.
And well I feel like I do want to just un match via the app and this is not because I don’t want to listen or that I’m cold, it’s that I too have been feeling depressed but I have therapy and deal with it in that way. And I just feel like I’ve known people like that before and also a girl who was a self harmed and depressed and only ever wanted to drink which made me a big ish drinker and they really do have the ability to drag people down too and I can suffer from a low mood a lot when I’m not doing well, and I feel like if I knew someone new like that then it would make me worse.
AITA for being like this and thinking about not responding? Or should I reply
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
injsKnyH3povztov0ChkJpz9gom35cMQ
|
9u8l28
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be part of the family gift exchange",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be part of the family gift exchange?
|
My family has done a gift exchange my entire life. Rather than include every member with a small gift, you "draw a name out of a hat" and get that person a larger gift. Historically you were expected to spend $50-75 USD. I've tried to opt out before, but my father convinced me to stay involved. An opportunity to learn more about a member of the extended family. Talk to more people in their life, get them something they really want. Sounds ok to me.
My issue is my aunt and her immediate family. The four of them put no effort into it at all, as far as I can see. I have had one of them get my name every year for the last 6, and have only given what they gave me, away to friends. They have never contacted me or my family to check in with me, and I haven't seen any of them in several years.
Part of the issue is there has been a stated price range. I usually get my gifts from them with the tags still on, and never more than $30 in total. So, I'm expected to spend $50+ on a personal gift for a family member I've gotten to know better for Christmas, and in return, I get non-returnable goods I don't need or want at below the expected value.
I don't want to do it anymore, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
gMxNdKsBs1XzugAA9ARQC2Jh3PaBDdFu
|
a58rb1
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend all of Christmas with my inlaws",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend all of Christmas with my inlaws?
|
My inlaws (FIL, MIL, aunts, cousins, all much older than my husband and I) are a group of tight-knit, racist, classist, conservative Christians who identify their politics with their religion. I am a liberal, not racist or classist, second generation atheist, military brat who really doesn't care what they think or believe as long as they keep it away from me and my kids. My husband, a secret atheist apparently ashamed of our atheism, won't stand up to his parents when they do bring their shit around me and my kids unless I force him too. He also won't tell them that we are both atheists which really grinds my gears. But that's a different battle.
Every holiday, my husband's extended family meet at his parents' place for lunch/dinner (same food served twice...) and generally spend all day baiting myself and my husband into a talk about politics. We are both pretty skilled at avoiding these talks but this Thanksgiving, I finally lost my temper when they had some nasty bullshit to fling at Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Medicare for All. Of course I lost my temper, these idiots aren't the ones trying to figure out how to pay 17K in costs from having triplets this year or the future surgery my son will need. Or having to listen to them complain about how my father-in-law can't get Medicare yet and will have to pay for healthcare this year. I'd like to see their sorry butts do the leg work I've had to do to get everything covered that should be and to make sure my family is not falling prey to predatory insurance practices. PSA: Never pay a medical bill you have not received the EoB on. It'll save you a ton of money.
Honestly, I've been around these people way too much this year and my usual tolerance for their shit is gone. I need a break from them and a chance to recharge my bullshit tolerance. They've made my parenting experiences hell thus far. They've taken advantage of me while I was in a terrible position. They don't listen to the things my husband and I ask to them do or not do with our kids. They've caused no end of fighting between my husband and I. They've accused me of denying them access to my kids 'every time I get mad' and that I have no right to keep them away from their grandkids.
I am **DONE**. I don't want to go to Christmas at their house and they are damn right, I don't want their racism laden, sorry selves around my kids. They were piss poor parents to my husband and I certainly don't want to give them a chance to abuse my kids like they did him and his brothers. Even further, I don't want another generation of racists on my hands. It's bad enough that of the three siblings his parents raised, two are as racist as them if not worse...
I'm willing to compromise since it seems this is the hill my husband is willing to die on. We can go to Christmas at their house, unwrap presents and then **LEAVE**. Same way all his cousins and other family does. But my husband says his mom will be upset if we don't stay to eat and the whole nine yards. If I let it, it'll end up being a 12 hour visit where our 6 month old babies will not get any rest at all. He says getting presents then leaving would cause drama. I say, sticking around will cause more drama because I have nothing left nice to say to these people. Not to mention, this is our first year with our kids. I want to start traditions of our own and maybe rekindle some of my own family's traditions that got lost when I got married.
AITA for not wanting to spend all of Christmas with my inlaws?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HcaWHr6gYJOqaEEZYftIxk107Q8jybxc
|
arne07
|
{
"description": "ghosting 2 different friends because their drunken behavior when they visit",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for ghosting 2 different friends because their drunken behavior when they visit?
|
I don't have many friends to begin with because I'm really not all that social, especially being married with kids and a busy work schedule. I treasure the few that I have, but in the last year, I got pretty fed up with what was my best friend of more than 20 years. I've always treated her and her family like my own family and I started to feel like our hospitality was being taken advantage of when she and her husband and kids would come over, both she and her husband would get wasted, so we always insisted that they stay over. Thing is, they have a history of driving drunk with their kids in tow, and despite voicing my concerns, they always waved me off. So problem solved if I make them stay, right? Nope. They wake up in the morning and immediately begin administering the "hair of the dog" remedy (not a real cure, I know) and wind up wasted all over again. By the time they finally go home, it's often evening the next day and their kids have demolished my house, my friend and husband never insisted on the kids helping with the cleanup, and I'm so frustrated with the amount of cleaning I have to do just to get my house back to halfway livable. I know I can ask them to help, but they're so drunk things tend to be hastily shoved under beds and in cabinets, not where they belong. I feel inclined to say that when we visit their home, this is not what I do. I clean up their kitchen, put food away, ask my kids to put things away, etc. The state of their house is in better condition than when we arrived. Now part of my issue with the drinking is that I no longer drink due to having a drinking problem in the past. I notice the annoying drunken behavior much more now that I'm not drinking, but don't want to sound like I'm better than them for not drinking. It bothers me though, and I've tried to bring up the subject in a subtle way, suggesting that they cut back on consuming so much alcohol. It's quickly dismissed. The last straw was when they came over to celebrate my birthday, and my friend showed up at my door already blitzed. She tried to downplay how much she was consuming by continuously "checking on her car". It was obvious she had a bottle in her car. I ended up so annoyed at the reckless mess (food being dropped on the floor and stared at without cleaning it up, repetitive conversation, etc.) that I went to bed early. The next day was the usual wake and drink routine, and when I walked out to my driveway, I noticed a wet spot on the asphalt next to her car and the overwhelming smell of pee. Not sure who squatted to pee in my driveway, but it may have happened during one of the many "car checks". That was it. I pretty much just stopped talking to them after that, and I haven't given any explanation about why, mostly because I know the truth would fall on deaf ears and cause substantial embarrassment that would probably result in resentment towards me. Also, in a way, I don't feel like it should be be my responsibility to spell out how inappropriate and rude they've been. They're grown adults, and should know better.
My other friend was a good friend who I've opened my doors to when he needed help. He doesn't have much family or friends, and I've often been the only one who would talk to him. He has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, which he was candid about, and having been in his situation before, I could understand his situation without judging. The last couple of times he visited though, his drinking was out of control and he ended up saying really awful things to me, and having inappropriate conversations with not only my kids, but other people's kids who were staying over. He had no recollection of the previous night, so how do you chew someone out for something they don't remember? He knows he has a problem, so what's the point? Same thing, I pretty much just abruptly stopped talking to him.
I feel justified in cutting ties with both parties, especially since my kids don't need to be exposed to this kind of behavior, but wonder if I'm being cowardly in not tell them why I stopped answering texts/phone calls. Do I owe an explanation? These are both friends I've known since I was a teenager. Does that factor in a certain amount of responsibility on my part to be a good friend and lay it all out? Is it partly my fault for allowing it to get to this point?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
judLUGRyu0zQ2aW0v6YDTIQZQO5zM90u
|
adzlox
|
{
"description": "kissing a girl at the club",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kissing a girl at the club?
|
I went to the club last night with a couple friends, had some drinks, and met a girl I matched with on tinder. From even before I recognized her she looked like she was confused but she was with her friends and upon recognizing me she approached me. I asked if she would like to dance and she said yes. We danced for a bit and I asked if I could kiss her. This is where I became very confused. She either said "no" or "oh" because there was a pause and the music was loud. I assumed she said "no" because I didn't hear a "yes" so I just kept dancing but 2-3 seconds later she turned around and started to kiss me. This had me confused and I'm not really good at reading signs so I asked if she would like to keep dancing and she said yes. After another 10min or so of dancing/kissing I felt she was uncomfortable and I told her I was going to meet up with my friends and asked if she would like help to find her friends as she didn't know where they were. She said "no" and I said "have a good night" and then I left. I don't know why she may have been uncomfortable. I don't know if that was just her general demeanor or not because from the second I saw her (before she saw me) she looked uncomfortable to be in the club surrounded by people. I should mention that I am almost certain she wasn't drunk because she and her friends were going to the bar when she saw me and the drinks were particularly cheap so it wouldn't make sense that she would drink before. Also I didn't smell any alcohol.
​
I asked her afterwards if she was uncomfortable at all last night but have not got a response so I left the conversation at that. Did I do something wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rcAIcdlpzuDPbVpfCkMzJ5znTLCapoiZ
|
anqn7i
|
{
"description": "wanting to shoot my friend's annoying flatmate with a nerf gun whilst high",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to shoot my friend’s annoying flatmate with a nerf gun whilst high?
|
Throwaway account because my main account username is my real name.
This is more of a ‘Are we the assholes’ case than just myself.
Preface: The annoying flatmate recently broke up with her boyfriend of nearly 2 years and was already quite an eccentric and unstable person to begin with, so it doesn’t help that she was pretty shaken by the sudden breakup. That being said, they had been broken up for two months by this point probably should have calmed down a bit by now.
Anyways, on with the story:
My friends and I are all university students and we had planned to get baked at their flat and watch tv and listen to music etc.
We ended up getting super high and pretty vegetative for most of the evening, so when their flatmate came through and wanted to talk uninvited, we weren’t overly excited by the prospect. That sounds bad, but it has to be noted that she’s really, really annoying. She only ever wants to talk about herself and vent about her day, quickly changing the subject back to herself if someone mentions something else.
She can also be rude as shit and be completely unapologetic about it. Previously she had mentioned that only one of our group looks like he actually goes to the gym, and whilst she’s not entirely wrong, it’s still a mean thing to say, and she didn’t even think she’d been rude when confronted about it.
So none of us were really interested in talking, so we suggested watching The Big Lez Show (Which she hates) to get her to leave. She responds by sitting at the computer and playing her own music. We’re all quite open to new music, but this was really not good and she refused to change it, so now we’re stuck with no Big Lez and some pretty shit tunes.
At this point, we’re too high to deal with this, so we all kind of just started moaning at her to change the song and let us watch something. She keeps laughing as we keep asking her to change the music and let us watch Big Lez, and even keeps laughing and trying to talk as we straight up tell her to fuck off. It wasn’t until we brought out a nerf gun and threatened to shoot her with a dart that she finally left. Whilst one of held the nerf gun and lazily pointed it in her general direction, the rest of us all screamed “SHOOT HER” repeatedly until she left in a strop. We weren’t entirely serious and were quite surprised that it actually worked. I don’t think we were in the wrong since it’s not her room and she was unbelievably annoying, but I think we might have just destroyed her spirit. Are we the assholes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
xzi80KcQSgFiImV44aU64nPlkg8IBqnt
|
awqwte
|
{
"description": "wanting to message my abusers current gf",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to message my abusers current gf
|
I want to message my abusers current girlfriend. I seen that he had a new girlfriend and that she has 3 children. He abused me when I was a child and idk if it’s my place or not to say anything to her. I want her to know what kind of person she is with and I want to ensure the safety of her children. Am I overstepping or would it make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TQ37dQ90LBuAXJurHhq2btNovXAfiNWj
|
a8ifmq
|
{
"description": "not get getting DH's mom's husband a gift that was only for him at Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for not get getting DH's mom's husband a gift that was only for him at Christmas?
|
For the last 9 years DH and I buy and prepare all the food for Thanksgiving and xmas (usually costs about $250 per meal). We also try to buy all of the family members that come over a gift and also have the kids make gifts, from them, to everyone. A few years ago DH and I were saving money to buy a house so we told everyone that the meal would have to be the gift for the adults. I still worked with the kids to make a gift for everyone (we made photo collages of the kids that were framed). We gave the "kid gift" to MIL and her husband as a joint present. We had also gotten MIL a bath thing that cost $5. MIL got really bent out of shape and shamed DH and I for "not getting her husband a gift". Are we the asshole for not getting him a separate him only gift?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
M1qRYqSf8gASX1I8wxllyeOVcE0IgZ5k
|
9veus0
|
{
"description": "texting my cousin that she hurt my feelings",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I text my cousin that she hurt my feelings?
|
My mom told me my cousin was saying some pretty mean things about my boyfriend this past weekend at her birthday party. It has really upset me because she is talking about his looks and not his character and not only is saying mean things about him because my mom likes him. I want to text and her and let her know that she has hurt my feelings for taking unnecessary jabs at him and that I am disappointed in her. She's in her 50s, I think the last thing she needs to worry about is my boyfriend's hairline while we are not even present for her to say it to his face.
WIBTA if I told her how I felt?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.