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ok tf express emotions like im sad shit
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@logansutch I know Bruce follows Danny..so cool! It'd awsome if we got him to sing with Mcfly! I know... really want to buy it! xx
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i wa at work today and suddenly felt really really sleepy for no reason i do feel sleepy sometimes but this wa like extreme sleepiness brain fog ish feeling that i haven t experienced at all which of course made me little bit anxious luckily my ha is more manageable now a i know how to handle it the sleepiness fatigue lasted for like 0 0 min and then i wa fine when i got home i m yo healthy male and the only thing i suffer from is pollen allergy p wa really proud of myself that i didn t panic at that moment cuz i would definitely panicked when my ha wa really bad
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im officially admittedly depressed tw want move toxic houseturning thought id magical way house money accomplish goals finally report abusive ex rapist thought finally get therapy etc stopped taking zoloft sertraline back cold turkied good emotional parents dont take anymore eye exams doctors appts concern swept rug always say theyll get therapy glasses never follow through need therapy ive needed since freshman year cheap therapists never give shit me called one saying suicidal wanting go politely told calm hung up dug trauma never showed another appointment braces years teeth straight beautiful year ago dentist told need wisdom teeth removed asap itll destroy progress guess cant afford it need glasses weak eye doesnt drift direction quite frankly im used looking fucked ive raised average family may selfish want ugly im terrified finally job cant leave money yet started first training day today looking job months dad wouldnt let work dad selfish controlling mom praises kisses feet defends him theres way point itll long time
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gave up let run around wont desert made cry said goodbye told many lies hurt
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which came first the chicken or the egg do i hate myself because of the constant rejection i ve experienced my whole life or am i constantly rejected because i hate myself both are true negative experience are what made me doubt myself so much if this keep happening over and over again then it must be because there s something wrong with me that people want to run away from i take it entirely personally but on the other hand people don t want a person who hate themselves in their life so they reject me and distance themselves i can never sustain positive self worth because every single time i m rejected i feel that they ve judged my character in some way and determined me either insignificant or toxic to them it s a never ending loop that ultimately leaf me alone and bitter i don t know how to fix it nothing seems to work it s like my mind is broken i feel like an evolutionary failure a cancerous lump meant to be excised from a healthy society i feel like i ve given up on myself
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need help anyone good pythagriam tribometry half hours need help discord ahappysleepdeprivednerd someone could help get done would great
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@Anitaa31 GoOd MOrning
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dont care anymoreout blue bf years thought going propose summer broke tuesday everything right went therapy got sober etc fact person told loved promised theyd never leave could make decision like blue makes realize isnt place want anymore starting let guard trust people again thats ruined now bought bottle jameson first time years hope kills
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dont want dieplease help mothers day mother overbearing cruel dont get hit takesthrows away stuff constantly tells us much suck whatever dont know im right mind right now therapist told call ever feel suicidal am suicidal doubt make end week dont wanna make things worse already dont know anyone advice whatever just call her please need dont know dont want see dont know else please
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wish she didn t have om homework to do right now
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friends go years isolation took bigtm e p r e loving support network best friend always me matter what unconditional dropping anything world make sure ok one relationship later cut connections people closest me took years build connections with feel loved love best friend ever ex love pure like mothers love never let fall low low enough want die like now never impress make sure favourite person cared much matter happened would them jealousy demands economic ties battles life goals pure ex must love corrupt energy socialise never really know peoples opinions are probably think weird
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feel suicidal every dayi keep telling suicidal thoughts self indulgent self pitying cant make stop ocd behaviours driving parents mad running helps think much get angry try make stop dont know
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Just got a big wave of depression at work and I have a date with a girl tonight. #prayforme <Emoji: Face with cold sweat><Emoji: Person with folded hands (light skin tone)>
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day great boom crisp water
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ringing ears taking shower took shower ringing left ear think cant really tell cause really loud kind repeating ringing pattern second ringing second break second ringing repeats wanted share pain im experiencing perhaps got water ear something itll stop bit dont know thanks reading post
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really sure anymorehi want start saying nothing tragic happened lost family member anything like that none less still consider redflag everyday option honest guts even pain probably would dont way painlessly right would consider even more every time contemplate cutting cant scars would still manage heal this also parents would send hospital straight away could impact year old year old brothers love much basically hope thats keeping alive right now hope normal again reason feel way impossible talk people properly anymore in real life way look impossible look uncomfortable social situations truthfully am basically shit scared people now including family im really sure screwed know life went downhill ever since year im year developed believe chronic dry eyes sleep deprivation anxiety social awkwardness depressed name probably feel it never drugs smoked yet still look act talk bit like drug addict ok reason life went downhill year onwards well basically move statesaustralia met someone who wish never met got addicted game masturbation porn became consumed masturbating porn found self energy play sport especially soccer cognitive skills window ever since then used really sporty kid really likeable enthusiastic life feel like energy drained zombie every day im sure masturbation problem tried stopping see improvement still stressed etc although managed stop week already several doctors specialists eyes nothings helped im starting lose hope self feel like every year going get worse worse think ill ever get job way am drive anything want homeless know deep really smart person hidden behind wall shit thats happening me theres anyone help would much obliged thank you
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pedos sub ok ok someone explain many posts pedos recently drama wave pedos
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imagine me running bedroom am morning screaming hustle hustle hustle wake ask confused who tf you answer get hustle go go h sleep hustle hustle hustle
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sister first seizure years im younger sister younger sis diagnosed epilepsy age really bad surgery see seizures while yesterday came room saying felt wierd slumped over called looked like stopped breathing bit ok now really scary know im strong enough go went last time sis bad seizures
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please stop telling guys stop mansplaining manspreading stupid sexist terms give feminazis excuse mistreat men seriously like fact exist mean assholes us true women oppression generations fault ancestors generation like people stop coming new problems like mansplaining manspreading oh yeah manspreading thing called penis sensitive part bodies would ask us move legs instead making big deal would fine people pouring fucking bleach dicks apparently know ask politely ive enough shit thanks listening rant
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i m so tired all the time in the physical mental and emotional sense all the time day go by doing nothing tired day of overexertion tired and sleep deprived the constant headache and facial pain doesn t help i feel like my tolerance to people is so low that i cry after i go outside my house or even more pathetically after when someone enters my room i don t know what s wrong with me nobody belief it you re so young how are you tired you need to toughen up the lab came back normal there s nothing wrong with you they don t know that every time i have to hold up this act the effect grows more and more devastating i don t blame them for it honestly i ve put up this act for such a long time that i don t think anybody really know who i am a a person i ve only allowed them to see the good side and whenever the bad side inevitably creep to the surface it inevitably end up being anticlimactically and severely misunderstood my mother try to string me along in vacation that end up draining me significantly and then she wonder why i sleep for hour every day a week after i ve given up the thing i like and i m passionate about because i feel too restless and tired to carry out anything towards a meaningful level jobless living with parent and on the cusp of a breakdown but nothing and no one that can help every night i hope i die in my sleep
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cant handle iti tried tried tried tried tried accomplish parents have know place much energy finding partner clock ticking everyone else family kid family age started angry im always either angry depressed get partner happy truly happy lot people understand happiness get addicted things feel good think happiness experience take care partner cant even begin describe waterfall comfort sunlight rushing me like im needed like life purpose like im something right try hardest jackass referred rniceguys ive coiled anger ive letting slowly bits sordid degrading commentary pornographic subreddits comes sickness feel rage feel like im nothing like ill never anything lot people read listen problems take one way without even considering feelings nobody considers feelings ever ive depressed years nobody fucking cares im going tell nobody cares maybe help clear mind shoot myself severe abandonment issues severe mommy issues barely toddler woman gave birth ready fit mother still young would neglect favor parties friends dad way well suddenly awakening saw house party took away her married woman raised that except quite count one hand amount times ive hugged shown displays physical affection woman yeah yeah laugh want fucking hugged enough child something me several memories pushing try hug small shed sneer say something negative connotation child hearing words hearing tone voice good tone id often wonder wrong deserve hug oh always affectionate lovey dog shed kiss hug pet hours imagine like jealous dog getting attention felt deserved child you always best behavior effort get notice hug let like shed pet him never did late now im good late shit im afraid physical contact except sex learned young age sex feels good suitable replacement attention getting mother constantly busy work father got good sex briefly got trouble law sex somewhat main focus life now met ex first one actually display interest rather looks cock likely met online video game why wed talk hours end killing aliens together grew close eventually blossoming relationship lasted three beautiful years loved far away rarely got visit made it told eachother things weve never told anyone including problems mothers ive never told anyone something like her held me burst tears never held like before held close close could feel heart beating shook snotted shirt even matter her held told understood held told okay would hold always always said kept saying always way month broke know it really dont took care sexually even together took care made sure orgasmed every day would talk try best make smile everyday part associated mommy sort figure felt good made laugh smile sudden told love anymore lovedmemorelokea friend partner friends did mention fact three years friends told always pretty much times week and god heart broke could feel it like cold ice cold cracks splitting across heart really felt it changed thats rage started happening thats would start blacking anger getting sexual head aches sorts awful things got another partner everything wonderful again took care way took care ex better even even better stay always right good get keep always right wrong girl also said shed forever approximately six months later abandoned also explanation why next girl next next milicent found quality partnerand god damn mili best partner ive ever had one split mutually beneficial could pick back later were less busy could actually time eachother know trust go anyone else leave like but abused worse differently child understood thought actually listened talked anyways agreed would best talk completed college started college really almost year anyways thats wanted shoot brain stem earlier wanted kill earlier current partner ignoring week now honestly really liked lot sad girl made happy god feels good needed bring light someones life felt lovely abused us abused children got along together fabulously gave free reign body mind soul improved health mind set mother started grade bitch ruining everything also said something instead supportive talk me sounds trivial probably is worst feeling world guess really ds relationships well feel like failure make happy enough talking me third person ive talked troubles felt like could understand did hurts doubly ignoring me get hurt feel emotions really translates rage broken first heart break lasted long would shake hours collapse id fine one minute literally ground unable move legs breathe drowning dry land thats felt like cope sadness prevent dying body somehow learned translate emotions anger wrath pure unbridled whole body went cold vision went black also sort affect think combination heart breaking many times over lied mistreated relying anger much just even feel human feel except now feel like getting hard breathe feel like failure feel like nothing ever work out matter hard try matter much time attention devotion give partners also surrogate mommys matter always fail never enough im ever good enough really considered ending earlier started writing this going go garage get old russian officer pistol dad bought online know sure works put brain stem pull trigger im sick females lying me lie them treat every single partner ive ever like theyre going last partner thats want date marriage date marriage date heart break try hard please soothe issues try hard keep makes happy making happy always end failing get vengefuland sink wallowing wretchedness want die first time actually considered though suicide hotline pulled google know kill myself thats closest ever ending things dead worry living own worry money supplies maintaining image life style dead mymommy issues hurt so dead women bother me deadpeopleeoildmt make fun anymore say mean things me im done everything right now killed myself know theres probably least three people typing comments pathetic am maybe pathetic right almost died another human lied me sltof always lie use
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whats hentai hear people talking alot idea is best examples find pms understand is thanks
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literally anything funnier night literally anything funnier night
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new article from obmneurobiology antidepressant treatment of depression in the elderly efficacy and safety consideration http t co hsu g pvhn narrative review of surgery for myasthenia gravis http t co siqks rzxp depression pharmacotherapy antibody http t co scs0lby0pi
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im broken man looking forward deathnothing interests anymore really tried best nothing everyday cus im unmotivated anything all bring everyones mood im burden fucking disappointment
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im still horndog reddit listening musicals baseball game tomorrow wtf wrong rn
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finally finished noteit feels good finally see end sight days ill completely free happy
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genuinely dont see point holding anymorenothing else say
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give best pick line joke anything find exceptional ill give gold last post didnt get enough attention still got gold left
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wrap me tight in rice-paper string http://archiveofourown.org/works/11717343 ⢠NAMJIN, namjoon-centric (7.6k)⢠LOT of dark stuff but mainly abt recovery and healing⢠BIG TW!: child sexual abuse, rape, depression, drug use, suicide attempt⢠only recommending this cause it's very well-written pic.twitter.com/6fqddXe5BY
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humanity mistake httpswwwredditcomrspongebobporncommentsluaoh_gaaarryyyy_im_homeutm_mediumandroid_appamputm_sourceshare
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excuse the blasphemy but no i dont need god to tell me anything before i choose to do whats right no my lack of religion isnt what gave me anxiety and depression it your abusive parenting style on the first half of my life dont blame my belief pls
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massage wa great i just spilled coke all over my desk lame watching the simpson a i ve finished all my hill dvd
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@Runrabbit hello ^^ the meeting will be this evening ~ will start around 9pm how are you today?
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knight no no notice they told me i d be working tomorrow and then i called the agency to follow up and they said it wa over
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hey guys im lunch right wanna spam notifications see english class care spam letter want ton
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death comes mewhen die hand serene think it end without fear spoke friend day similar state mind commiserated tribulations life mundane existence door close now beckon void
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@dougiemcfly @harrymcfly @Dannymcfly Thank you for your songs and being you, you help me forget the guy who broke my heart again
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rteenagers snoo girl ascii art hope like it txt filehttpstinyuploadcomindexphpfile_id
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Why on earth do we sit here thinking ourselves into depression over someone who doesn't deserve it?
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pros cons pros convicted pedophile
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i ve always had anxiety issue a a kid i thought that i wa normal and everyone felt this way dry heaving in the car on the way to a new babysitter house i m now and i still have constant anxiety the last three month have been worse than anything prior the only time i feel slightly normal is when i take a xanax my dr said that they re addictive so it s a short term solution i have been off of work on and off for two month my dr gave me zoloft and i ve been on it for a week and a half and i m still somewhat hopeful that it ll kick in but idk what i ll do if it doesn t help substantially
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im pretty weak willed personim sorry know long guess ill start introducing myself name tony years old father two children married mother two children things rough since first child born august know plenty people kids young gone tough times title suggests weak willed person im coward im easily broken im physically weak wife counters ways stronger me mentally her everything simple thats me ive tried strong always turns facade wife well ive gotten help ive therapist part months feel like everything said made sense stupid reason never follow through im quitter stubborn turn tail run going gets tough every single one aspects attributed depression constant thoughts ending all offing myself kids awesome lately feel like ive feeling hate them especially daughter pick up practically screams me never done started little harsh cries for literally nothing harsh yelling light smacks butt nothing hard enough let know unacceptable months feel hatred her son two years old every time discipline something unacceptable yells back me know hes kid thats kids bothers discipline says i want mommy broke heart made break down crying first time heard it yesterday ever since daughter born thoughts redflag gotten progressively worse thinking trying it without success mostly pills course think everybody else take death hurt them would dead ability care selfish thought feel like made handle everything im going now kids young married young two jobs moving state want at used live arizona loved there wife practically forced move california hate here thats things got worse felt choice still wanted children would left behind anyway conflict wife right now moved want to got job amazon fulfillment center want to were living brother girlfriend want judgemental pretentious people ever share conflict well one point brother almost got fight argument feel like go anymore
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things slow burn many things overlapped one another pushed finished phd im worn looking it ive realized psychological symptoms redflag display closely aligned racismspecific redflag ive psychotherapy im sure therapist adequately prepared identify it know certain redflag want begin healing im done grad school wherehow start
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@NadineDorries @campbellclaret is such a vile hateful individual that it has manifested it self in him as 'depression' from which he says he suffers. Is it any wonder? Rees-Mogg on the other hand is a happy decent individual
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I wish this cloud of depression over my head would go tf away.
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is rebooting relic and hoping to 'see' @vmadly b/f going face down. :p It's been a loooong wonderful weekend.
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reached point returnive suffering depression long cant even remember started ever since childhood began notice every years for different triggers enter depressive cycles become literally useless devoid motivation willpower point sabotaging life consciously sortf sick inevitable impulse compare addiction sorry think rn today years old year since entered worst depressive spiral life months ago fired job copy writer home let exboss many times therefore im broke broke boyfriend kicked dog getting tired trying help sustain me best friend speaking one talk ive also turned pathological liar year lied many times trying get better working speaking option anymore im currently days away becoming homeless cannot pay rent buy food seek help turn relatives since live outside home ountry degree practical knowledge know write able land another job even waiter point would think survival instinct would jump motivate think committing redflag want live crappy life even im coward conscious death would affect loved ones write im embarrased become want talk someone ask advice case anyone gone thing time hope live seems pointless like waste give life definitely stop breathing would call redflag prevention line credit phone know im pathetic sorry typos im best write english also know real problems like terminal cancer schizophrenia not judging something like that brain wired backwards guess
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man fuck hoe want back tho
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Ga, when did I ever play a trick on you?
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made drink doesnt taste half bad peach bubly frozen orange juice little bit grenadine maraschino cherries bit triple sec orange alcoholwith parent permission course tastes pretty good
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realized gay eat popcorn people say gay eat popcorn busted nut wrong popcorn kernels seeeeeeds proof httpswwwgooglecomsearchqisapopcornkernelaseedampieutfampoeutfamphlenusampclientsafari
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@kanyewest @miked2345 @aldridtl thanks to Ovama and his policies he prevented the recession to turn into a depressionâ there are a miriam of other accomplishments but this one cannot be disputed. I can not believe anyone believes in Trump being honorable or representing anyone but himself.
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wow like gaming bought nintendo switch march quarantine im already bored it bought one game tho pokmon sword still think ill excited games imma sell buy good headphones big question is beats bose
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hello teens reddit go middle name family thing named great grandfather middle name dads favorite book character first name names combined means goose army
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movie needs come dvd cause thats way buy it thought soo funny real plot it suppose oscar winning film appreciate films cary elwes cute robin hood cant even think favorite part movie pretty good anyways peace out
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funny life change second attend the waterdance first time unforgettable experience way need get used new way life seem frightening notice people going similar situation help go on br br eric stoltzs performances mainly helen hunt oh man helen purest graceful woman earth wonderful wesley snipes also surprises one last serious roles film simple time deep get leave us indifferent message transmitted enjoy moment lifebr br really film hour attended sorry brazilian expression
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former gifted child case again dissapoint parents show think anymore maybe stop high expectations me show terrible be man terrible kid thinking way deserve horrible gifted got lucky disappointment deserve trash kid like deserve better part wants make parents proud time want disappoint finally see really
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g day at the evil highschool right now
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@GuttaButta I'm having this debate with my friends now she said that too!
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im graduate elite university people say im beautiful great friends toxic relationship shattered self esteem ever since boy walked away ive suicidaltheres that rough childhood im insecure upbringing despite ending really good position working hard life want loved someone love back live little brother dont want bad example him that suicidal every single day life two years
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@Sarah_1991 it was good was it? mixed reviews in papers! interesting pictures in todays paper though
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not feeling well again stupid migraine making my tummy upset and my whole body ache shoot me now
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cant stop imagining ithow would long would take get caught anyone give shit trying best utilize coping skills support systems getting harder hour say still fighting for family hasnt even offered drive see me im burden keep saying go walk think positive yeah dont think key would better now want go hospital im also afraid right now thanks letting vent bit
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i just started citalopram this month and my period is late could this be a symptom of starting a ssri
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want live my birthday week always thought would feeling better then ive really trying past years especially past months know point im going achieve want to im unhappy it im proud things accomplished life bit disappointed time lost trying get better ive already admitted hospital want go back know im know people think waste life believe ill good it ive lost lot friends ive hurting best friend feel like ive emotionally manipulative needs stop im content knowing could want hurt anymore ive trying delay smoking weed heavily getting bit unbearable relief knowing end soon
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solid liquid gas come gentials states matter also come mouth
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over lockdown i started binge eating to get through it wa fucking fantastic i d just get unbelievably stoned and eat and then suddenly it s tomorrow i didn t have to deal with anything but i don t enjoy eating anymore i don t like food it suck and i m at work and i pig out just to try make myself feel better because i guess that s what i do and i felt horrible so i thought hey is a good a year a any to develop an eating disorder so i tried throwing up in the toilet and literally couldn t get anything up i just gagged and then i pull back and suddenly the cloud change and i m just bathed in sunlight kneeling on the floor of a bathroom and i just couldn t stop thinking of those prayer add that say try praying and couldn t stop laughing for like 0 minute i wanted to share because i think it s really funny but who tf am i telling this story to so you get it anyways now i feel spewy af and need a smoke hope you enjoyed xo
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need helpi need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help need help
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wish someone would call mei havent feeling good would nice hear someones voice dont alone usually put music trying im overstimulated racing thoughts mania moment since havent sleeping want hear someone tell day maybe ask mine
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enough fentanyl to kill a gorilla i m sorry i don t wan na hurt my family but i can t go on another day living a a junkie fuck up might a well end it i love you zoey in case you re reading this i m sorry
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mean friend says i mood someone text rn talk whilst talking like someone talkin to feel like available comfortable venting friend keep company one else friend want there get wanting talk people talkin means someone want talk rn one available feeling multiple times would express bored talkin ignoring someone else messagesoh asked like texting said different like tired first choice good enough want cut everyone never give time anyone like never consider anyone friend friends making feel unimportant
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piece shit wanted remind piece shit wanted whole world see am thank stopping by
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poured everything relationship im worse start withabout months ago met someone reddit best period life week met happened around time things started going downhill faster difficult first opened level id never come close anyone before admitted feelings couple months later fought relationship helped worst times life now disclosed much could bring past things people done effects had first same others backs things started go downhill suppose long distance relationships rarely go well whilst hurt able take care person willing keep going joy brought life apparently werent yesterday i bad moment admitted frustrated situation their parental situation meant harder us see other instant relationship over supposedly protect me deserved better something else longer see ive deleted conversation history trusted them poured heart soul sanity making us work spent much time talking hours felt empty since never hope future met them severe fear death kept going far every day mental image falling nearest bridge replays mind constantly everything reminds them almost everything together even hug song introduced namely music activity eachother about things used enjoy gets crying again im sad feel hollow useless main thing motivating improve myself medical condition fixing us physical fitness i always quite underweight us lack effort uni trying fix work towards future us theyd taken away worst insecurities things good back worse im constantly questioning wrong whether ever really loved back whether broke found unattractive reason person supposed live without ambition hope concept future anything look forward to pressures outside world increasing various deadlines major decisions need make close me want stop cant see future world one thing consistently made happy gone enjoy present either past rules life past shit promised wed try stay friends afterwards too went window instantly blocked main apps used communication cant lean friends theyre going shit im alone alone without keep going
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i constantly have negative suicidal thought and i need it to stop
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@mcraddictal I LOVE Heaven Help Us. It's my favourite b-side in the history of ever
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i am wondering how to work this site
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what is the point of going on when your parent don t like you your friend are nonexistent and your school is the most unsupportive and toxic place you could be in i m not loved by anyone i doubt i will be so forever i ll be alone i might a well take all the pill in the house nobody will have cared about me anyways
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@bryonyxx Yeah a got quite a bit .. just need a few more bits for the evening like jewellery oh and a need a bag to
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At Anfield waiting for the game to start
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ariana grenade
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potatoe famine want mashed potatoes im hungry
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im sorrysexualphysicalmental abuse child almost sold human trafficking someone intervened put foster home women tells spent life praying daughter am returned mother foster parents told never see us again relocated canada usa mom loses custody us arrested last time saw her returned canada waited everyday mom come get me finally receive message mother tells none abuse suffered real ptsd fuck ups weve diagnosed cant real according her try killing twice rehab physically abusive relationship beat pregnant tried kill once one distinct memory drunk searched house something find it came room laying bed breastfeeding daughter punched face hard could would strangle till blacked out scars face charged domestic abuse paid fine gained courage leave left province cuts contact gets dui province comes back wants visitation custody battle new relationship old ways kicked home sent shelter yesterday custody hearing valentines day today cant fight anymore spent life fighting spent life thinking enough years bullshit done fighting really enough finally convinced myself enough never understood mom could leave me understand difference daughter worth fight daughter means world me called father court anything ever happened would okay neither us deserve you love you want happy dead end love love love done fighting cant even believe saying this love thing got far love much
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ok dont laugh need help deciding two christmas lights minecraft ive honestly fucking hours please help decide cant take anymore lol decide me httpsimgurcomateseln
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falling asleep just heard about that tracy girl s body being found how sad my heart break for that family
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it doesn t matter anymore i m going to copy and paste my note it really doesn t matter i know i m spilling my gut out oh who care now i m lonely i m a solider to my self pride status something i fail to achieve my whole life achieving to be a boy the one my parent are proud of the only reason i m not forgotten is because i m away from home do you think they remember me i m so fine with being lonesome i could live i no longer cry i no longer care i m not deep i m not feminine i no longer attract you i m not part of them or you or your life i m not even an outcast or part of the story all my life i thought of my self a the extra in this story but i realised i m not even that i m so lonesome and not noticeable i could disappear right in this northern line i carry everything in onto me try to care that i m awake but i remember everything what have i become maybe you could have it all maybe you are the one that make his memory you re unforgettable you are the one that s not me i ve been forgotten no presence of my own the place i have for myself have never been anything but death and so it s hard to imagine a life where there s life i m apologetic towards the emotion regarding me but i m not sorry that i m here somethings in my way it might be myself never have i been so ill and treated at the same time just been treated so badly in the past that even this single bit of kindness coming from you made me feel so sane that s all i got from you half as explanation came in my house and my mouth then you d leave to someone else s house some other girl post wrestling story line when i feel scared sad sorry about a story i feel le that about my self today wow look at what u did today look at how you feel look how easy it is to resolve conflict how easy it is to lie do that again i bet u what happened that you are in a bad mood are you reminded again that nobody care leading you to my story opening my chest up with information so little you barely understand i m here waiting what will it take for you to leave this time i m still right here puzzled i live in another house now in another country with a completely different routine and identity from my last one and the other one out in this city for year feel kind of funny i can t tell what s real and fake anymore did time really passed do i even have a family am i even here million people in london how do i always managed to find the most bat shit crazy one to befriend you only filling my free time with people way to stoned to remember all of u forgetting yesterday just like i wanted so lonely can i be yours fucking unmanageable why do i always get into this messy situation i can t bare to work here anymore i m fine but bitch who want me to fail will succeed unfortunately i want to die dead groom and corpse bride i can t write anymore no song describe the desperate feeling for thing to end again i kiss them the way i wish i wa kissing you who are you though third time cry at the tube this week i m tired i wanted to ask the world is it really a bad thing to die i wanted my work to speak for me speak for it self so i don t ever even have to talk i wanted to make every work my last piece of work becuz i could be gone anytime soon i wanted every piece to be the final piece the finale maybe this situation make me feel safe no attachment no regret i never had to say goodbye to anyone except maybe lily and grandma and grandpa and mom and dad and maybe my therapist if i die here in uk i only want lily to be at my funeral literally if anyone else dare to show up i would haunt the fuck out of them for the rest of eternity you were never here when i wa alive fucking bastard thanks to my grandparent i got that little piece of my childhood that i wa genuinely happy just that little bit of time in my life who would ve know that be the last time i ll ever be happy i ve only been happy once this illness is for life making peace that it might never get better thinking of bigger idea finalising my purpose stick to my self strengthening my sorrow smoking my thought away diving into these men story one by one from my perspective dying of thirst do you think they secretly categorises u year i m still the same out shining you probably at the bottom of my stash damnnnnn i got option i have a dream my ultimate weakness is being fearless how come yesterday i wa fine and today is another day of fucking it up yesterday wa a rebirth i ve lost him great the move on period that i m sadly familiar with probably the only thing i know how to do when i know exactly what to do my path is clear and i m brave fierce today we begin the process which probably started before i even knew it did subconsciously i never had him or wanted him in the first place they re right it triggered me badly i wanted to die now i want to live at least till i get to go home non of this matter at the end of the day i have to admit i don t care about the superficial stuff i care about the ugliness amp beauty we all are capable of the ugliness that we are capable of meeting by the pizza shop aa na that i ve never attended bill i never payed harmony that sound heavenly good standing by my self haunted by i feel unstoppable fucking fearless i am ready i want to hide in ur closet and cut open your wound i can t remember the last time i spent a proper holiday with family i don t really get sad anymore you get used to it and if you ve spent holiday with my family you ll be grateful to spend it alone and again me being me i rarely remember the good time i just know the bad maybe i get a little sad because even during covid people had the hope of seeing their family this year when i already know it s not going to happen i m not scared to have nothing and no one care if you have your last night on earth who do you rather spend it with i know it s not going to be any family member it s luck to tolerate more then half an hr with them ex s not really it s the people that i don t need to speak to the people that know me by just one look the people that really know i m just describing my self i d probably want to be alone for my last night on earth my stomach is always full nobody ever get killed everyone s fine life is pretty good cutting open my wound for show watching you from a far i just can t stop it s like i want to surgically remove you from my life just cutting till i get you to leave me alone i wa trying to find comfort in you now i realise i got that with everyone once you realise the concept of abuser come from being a victim and then everything make sense now all i know my whole life is to be the other woman just never the main one about to make myself sad again if he like me he take me home put me in a box it is so weird to cum to pain then why do we do it lol why do i do it enjoy now i m feeling really complicated about tattoo because now i feel addicted this kinda of experience lol had a massive break down don t know how to feel about anything let s just wait a few day i just didn t care what happens to me anymore it just feel like an out of body experience i m still alive but i feel dead feel like i m no longer here so basically i never had a relationship i reminded him of his ex he reminded me of both of my rapist someone put a spell on me i m in a secret place i m having so much fun with my head with my thought it s no longer delusion living inside my head i just built our living room and you re right there you you you you you him and him too stop stopppppppp being an artist is not hard stick that needle right through your heart what i feel the best about the blur is gone been bothering my entire life how miserable i am i couldn t live with the fact that i wa the only one but it finally made sense took me year to realise i wa even raped just a little girl to want to know you were raped took more then just time i just didn t know what wa ok because nobody ever asked or when they do i m not even sure i m not even sure what i wanted them to do to end this end me and this point on i m forever on my own in my head shhh they don t know i m going to leave i ve been so tired cry almost everyday it s not hard to face the past it s just difficult to imagine how long it s going to take for me to hide all this so someone would finally want me i need some help i never satisfied them at all why do some girl have everything i ever wanted in life he s like drug i can t get out this feeling i don t deserve i miss him and i hate myself i wan na leave him but i hate my self too much to leave even if it s fake i wanted someone to appreciate me for fuck sake it s so bad i just stopped caring about everything nothing matter to me anymore over flooded anxiety worry about the wrong thing think about bigger plan tho but i can t help but fuxking screammnmmm into the crowded bar god why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ficking pound to go home r u serious trying to keep my love life alive i sat by the bar dodging your eye winking at you fucking in the bathroom how i wish i didn t look at you didn t share that look that moment i i wish i didn t drink running around town in the middle of the night my heart is on the edge being alone getting high on my own year later and everyone still left am i even breathing do you want me or not just tell me if u do he used to pick me up after school boarding school drive way i sneak back into my bed at am hurting because i had to leave cry because i m already hurt now he pick me up after work he said he ll see me again and i don t even know why spilling my gut out in this note app my own best friend hate me the girl that i pour my heart into she doesn t even know me i don t remember much about anything ever i m happy like that if i remember all my feeling it ll be hard to get by so dark blue i wonder why i hear picture i m gon na fly but i feel small i want him to tell me all his secret thing you don t tell anyone i ll take it off you let s me carry it for you on my shoulder very free i am the girl that thing happen to why would anyone want to see the wound that i carry i hate to lie but i probably will disappoint him exit is too late if i could just have a moment to breathe please can t take it much more then this i m taking my chance not much more love left in this either did you just wanted to have fun anyone can be my daddy today he s far far away away from me have i told anyone i don t want to be the main one it s fun behind the camera it s safe being the stalker i m comfortable stood low when i fall at least it won t even hurt liar liar i m going to keep it low this time i ll ease it in but if this time go i ll be okay too i m already broken so what if i get thrown to the ground again every men ha failed me greatly my girl and i we deserve the world i m gon na kiss her forehead in my dream i m going to hell just left his house and he s on his way to mine not sure which lie to tell because when i kill her in my dream you won t have a friend to cook with no one showed up why can t you be useful for once nothing scare me anymore he invited me to a millionaire mansion said we can do anything we want wild swim in a private lake i said i might drown drown and i want to die and i want to lie he know about me i am twenty but like chain i rust you throw me to the ground again pulling my hair my heart shattered to piece he had no idea the war i fought and finally fight i am a soldier far away from home with no one to call belongs to no one i miss their forehead kiss solid a a rock shell each ringed a bell but shamed me to hell you call you called he called a well i miss my self my old self me a a child i want her back i m going to have a kid a little girl that i m going to protect at all cost all my life i wanted to be her but who is she it s just who ever he actually want it doesn t make sense you know i won t satisfy don t have the luck going to suffer every way possible life turn into shit for my girl but they re laying under the sun she s having some fun i m picking up my ash on the floor so i smoke it again luxury fine dining cocktail every day her hair is silky when she get hurt people fight for her is it wrong i hope she get killed being bi sexual and a story teller mean i make up plot and chapter between whoever is making me jealous it s actually a really nice way to train my self from getting attached to anything at all adding story to people relationship give me a deeper understanding of in a way i no longer call my bad thought putting my self down if all my thought are bad they re no longer bad thought they re just thought first and foremost i m going to write about you and your girl this is my kind of fun i hope when i m not around she fulfil your void you can have both my body and her presence we look alike don t we i m in my own corner the voice in my head say you re alarmed people say it s impossible you d be into me i believe them why would you choose me of all people i just can t believe anyone would have anything to do with me someone who just isn t special enough to have anybody i might be a little emotional writing this missed my mood stabiliser again it s ok though you can lay your head in my tummy i bet it reminds you of hers i have found my calling i m everyone s girlfriend just ended thing with you contagious doing another test simply because i just don t trust you it is my problem i should let you go i know you re no good but you were at least nice and no one have been nice to me in a while feel calm to think about how i ll be safe and sound in my pain another story to shoot yeah it didn t make sense to me but now it doe love bombing didn t work on me even though i ve been alone for a long time thank god for putting me through shit early enough that i left early a well my bad for thinking you knew better i felt like a piece of shit again again i don t give a fuck about any of you anyways but why i never know what am of you want or need i don t understand i might be on the spectrum you know i never communicated flaw are just so deep it s like haunting through sleep am i the one stopping her happiness i never analysed why i did all those thing during elementary school that my mom had to literally befriend my teacher to make sure i m took care of i wa that troubled 9 i think of all these intruder that entered my body without my wish kelly moore s dad a white kindergarten teacher in a majority chinese school felix another white men that raped me unconsciously in the club naz in which i still not entirely sure how i got lured into i look back at my self i sometimes wondered what went wrong how i wa made the best and then the worst why did i always had a bad time why i don t remember anything why and why and why did all this happened to me i think i just had an over amount of change that now i need a giant break but i don t know how to relax i love you but who i need to love someone why do i do that when i don t know who you are i m so stressed out i can only move on being rough wa all i know just people forcing themselves onto me all the time maybe why i thought zaineb wa so special and i m not ready to have that again even thought iain count a my first love i think zaineb wa when i completely trusted someone i just feel wrong and not accepted i guess i had another thought all those time they ve touched me just touching me everyone not just at the club it be when i wa getting take out shopping at the super market i never said anything why didn t i every time i look in the mirror i see myself disappearing into a bubble i wish i wa brand new i wish i wa soft and clean fresh off the boat too i wish i still believed in the world and white men you guy are losing me bit by bit day by day faded into the background i guess for now i know there s more to life than romance and belonging there s knowledge and creation story line and peacefulness in nature i realised that s when i m most allowed to stay is when i realised i m not rejected by the other side i m not rejected by hell a place that ll understand me may devil protect me and be by my side got ta stop having death fantasy must be a reason why i m fortunate and not is it karma or wealth abused or wa i too spoiled to think i deserve happiness is it karma or illness it must be karma right i know everything about you i usually prepare my research before i meet you a guy anyone i go through your family photo your ex the girl you slept with before me and potentially after me too i spot for lie matching the story you told me with evidence the fun part is researching the girl you are fucking i can feel my heart beat it like an electrical rush of anxiety it s quite an easy and intimate process a i realised my instinct is right every time by the way this is the time where i note down possible event that might happen in the future if this is torture then i don t know what fun is solving this puzzle i uncover every step a i am walking through your living room i give a fuck about you everyday ever since my first project i want to know everything the truth of story that s happening to me i need truth i need clue i need to find out if i m the other woman why do you want to know thing you shouldn t know ugliest ugliest truth still better than lie in my opinion and when i learned the fact that i am nothing in your story this is where i imagine love story that involves the girl you actually like is this process psychopathic i think it s a poetic way of practicing being a wife haven t wrote shit in a minute i guess i don t know what to say anymore i need to get going nothing ha been working fuck u all listening to he talk a i sit there again and again with my mouth shut still taste the cum in the back of my throat we expect the extreme every time we meet i always walk into your empty house the house you shared with her for year convincing myself that i don t care about you anyways ever since i haven t been able to learn or live i ve just been getting by and ruining my own life maybe it wasn t even that traumatic but i had to have an excuse for something right i guess i wa pale and green i became dumb never shared a thing fell short when my friend are watching film i watch now i read now i wouldn t have done the same for him filled my life with horror escaping intoxicated insane fucked so good fun fun fun you don t know half of the shit i actually go through you just think i m a simple whore i could be for you i wear black tights and two silk bow tie on the tip of my knee get all the way down i wait they always tell me to stay where i am because my back is arched and my as is in the air all the thing that made me who i am i bet her art is even wholesome and not pain then i worried i m not ur enough hey i feel better now still remember me what you ve been up to im not sure writing you from afar i m just getting to know myself why would i forget you i wa just trying to forget my self i m leaving london soon just like how i left china just like how i left la and like i left china again when will i ever return there s no more looking back my family s fed and i have some money under my name the only fortunate thing little fire lit in my world will never have the glory they once have i m not extraordinary enough but cool to have fun recently my family discovered that i am american a real american a real person with a passport that doesn t require month of quarantine a real passport that doesn t need a visa a real world i m freed and you don t understand i m trying to free my family too come i ll swallow all the feeling you might have may i open wide and welcome you inside up and down spending time with men that want anything but me ex and ex never ending dark hole of a modern bitch clear whiskey glass amp cocktail you never payed for her spend it all on me you never called no one did
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amazon mp downloads down to 9p so much for my 0 cheer jodiedoubleday http tinyurl com dg qtg
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ive preparing kill self month so things freak things today left thinking otherwiseso today sat run car parking spot trying get head sleep car pulled right never turned radio down made impossible sleep next side old guy pulled up really old kept playing radio eventually sat up tired acted like guys old bloke right chilling car park abouy minutes two hours old guy left started hating people again even started googling phone people like rats thats felt then fell asleep woke noticed nice cars behind one bloke looking me thought time go turned ignition nothing dull click againi started hate humans again seen get old feller get merc smile face heard ignition fail car park came pappa john pizza driver reason said along shot mate jump leads would you cut along story short car running life thanks guy suicidal earlier thoughts humans rats true saved today somone earns nothing shrugged somone earns somthing
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simply floating life lithe inconsequential object people mostly ignore whim moan tremble shake bit much them become invisible suffering deeply nearly decade now admit many problems stem self instead muster feels like herculean willpower personal strength both have suicide genuinely seems like better option sickening utilitarian conclusion thoughtlessly turned personal mantra dissect shortcomings already do people life grown tired bored disgusted frightened finally seal residual ties might still me stop drowning selfpity remove wretched existence like done years ago faulty logic know much pain right feels like thing do scum hate myself wish anymore much coward it pray sort cthonic entity one day muster yetunpossessed resolve find way end life tired all yet never seems end need stop feel like spectre
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@theknickermafia how is life over yorkshire way today?
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context grew up in a pretty abusive family and always wanted to jill myself even a a young child it get worse till couldn t cope and went to child service at age a i felt i wa going crazy i wa removed from my family and never saw my mum sister again my suicidal thought seem to not always be here now but come in wave i m feeling pretty suicidal now a my gf left me but it made me reminiscent of my last suicidal episode about a year ago this wa the most intense one yet i had plan and everything the last thing i had to do wa to speak to my mum and sister before i passed away i spoke to my sister first and she basically wa horrible to me to the point i couldn t speak to my mum out of guilt turn out the abuse got a lot worse after i got removed and my sister blamed me for it it hit me pretty hard i didn t end up speaking to my mum here s where thing get interesting a i never spoke to my mum i never killed my self she ended up dying a few month afterwards now i feel weird if i had rang her and killed myself would she have been alive it sound silly but my mum illness wa caused by sadness i m sure if i spoke to her she would have survived but then i would be dead so would my suicide have saved a life somewhat this now make me more suicidal a i didn t speak to her before she died but this time i don t have the courage to kill myself sticky situation
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day posting something everyday get girlfriend im bored ask question want answer
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mean why well die anyway someday could die want considered bad insane past japan example normal thing commit suicide remove shame even honourable ok kill day kind protest cannot kill nothing even suffering much like know form shame like understand big deal humans die anyway someday matter die years earlier later times ok honourable death let it see optimistically negatively like fuck up die know describe see optimistically like suffer much still want die things fucked up see relief salvation fuck ups know sound like kid feels cool me like feeling watch movie tough good guy main character even tough code like kill children stab back give chance defend etc like codes seems cool thing feels like code too feels cool too bad kill
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phillcoleman i had it a low a last night
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bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruhbruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh bruh
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sex ppl minion blanket want proof ur lookin
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@miss_hazy do you need some lines to chat him up or maybe impress him?
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addiction broke another relationshipi love girldamn amazing first time someone made feel like truly didnt need drugs ended telling addiction wanted get better didnt take well dont blame her first time addiction cut relationship quite time depressed addicted drugs always believed least valueim ugly im funny try care people animals im loving partner relationshipsim always trying make people feel good themselves always thought worth even small past months dont believe anymore im finally worthlessmy addiction robbed everything hadeverything family doesnt like memy exes hate me friends avoid me even sister spent whole life trying take care of see loserits week since talked me even looked face job anymore failing college im fat depressed maniac disappear days end mom feels sad me used little bright boy today literally hear mom getting face yelling coward liar druggie one people left still tried help me run peoplei friends anymore one cant near me cant help anymore think im getting end linethere nothing left thats it wasted whole lifeeverything mom build me everything people invested gone im nothingim worthless actionsim suffering consequences shitty person was
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