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It's a bit like torture. nnMy dream:
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That last paragraph sounds very much like your own personal struggles. Kind of ironic since you said nn>I only see my own social flaws, and everyone else only sees my social flaws.nnI don't really recognize those extreme thoughts. I also don't have social anxiety. I just posted this here and in social skills, because those are the most relevant subs to post this in.nnI'm just not very comfortable, spontaneous, outgoing, flowy, in the zone,... in social situations. It doesn't go smooth. I'd make a comparison, but nothing in my life currently seems to go smooth (without thought or effort, well actually, going to table tennis, playing games and watching youtube on the PC are the only things that go without thought or effort...) The non-smoothness of social interactions simply stands out a lot when I had a dream in which it did go smooth. In this dream I seem free of social awareness and only focus on what truly interests me, which of course are weird things in dreams, but also normal things, like cute girls.nnMaybe that's the thing, I need to stop forcing to be social just to be social. Because in my dream, I'm doing stuff, adventuring, exploring, learning, looking,... and the social aspect is a by product. It only goes smooth in my dream, because it's secondary, the main focus lies elsewhere. So when I don't feel like it, or when there's no one I can have a decent conversation with, I don't need to sit down and talk/listen. I don't have to try so hard to listen and find something we're both interested in. I don't need to find a good friend. All I need to do is be open to it, and if the time comes, it'll come to me. Because trying too hard to find a friend in everyone, is only boring me and making me feel awkward.
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Sometimes I'm just so awkward and I struggle to find the right words to say, so I feel like I come off as dumb because of this when I have to communicate verbally. Usually makes me feel awful afterwards.
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Yeah. I don't really have a good response. Baby steps maybe. Start infront of the mirror and then with the closest person in your life. I know therapists do something called exposure therapy, I don't know the exact process but it's something to do with this.
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and you feel that way because you've come to the conclusion that you'll probably never get any of the above? you'll probably never be the friendly happy confident person that brightens a room or makes others jealous. you'll probably never have a friend group, a proper one, one where you smile and giggle together, have eachothers backs. you'll probably never have somebody have the patience to get to know you. to completely fall for you, to see the good sides of you (if they even exist). you'll never have any of that because you're an inferior, burdensome presence that's as boring as a wall. nnslice of life was my favorite genre as a child and in my early teens. always gave me hope that i could recover one day. now i can't watch it without crying because i don't think i'll ever have something that precious. sigh
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Right? The second you feel a little bit good about yourself, you run into someone like that who just radiates confidence and sends you right back to reality. It's so disheartening. nnExactly! My favourite one is, “I was shy once too, it gets better”. Like dude, I wish I was just shy. I have years worth of built up self loathing and insecurities and missed opportunities because my stupid damn brain has such severe anxiety and can't do anything outside of my stupid little comfort zone.
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Sorry for ignorant question, but I never got this. So many people post here about problems with their boyfriend, relationship, etc., while people with actual social anxiety disorder have no chance for even having anyone to be loved by, even if they would really want to. It takes so much to get one, that I wonder if that person really has SA, because he/she has overcame all the difficulties of having SA and found a soulmate.nnRant over :(
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Thanks for reply. My therapist suggested me group work but I was too afraid. I will try it sometime and maybe I will get lucky. nnIf it actually worked out, I'd probably kill myself out of happiness, my life would be complete ;D
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Im in the army met a girl who just finished recruiting. Really nervous dont know what to do. Ill let you know how it goes.nnEdit: This has turned into story time with thejoesf. Slightly veering away from SA.
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Ok i have got 15 minutes. nPreviously when we were talking she mentioned she has been thinking a lot about things are going on in her life that are hard to deal with. I thought I would ask if she wanted to talk about what she has been thinking about once the episode had finished. She said yes, but had a hard time telling me. I decided I would tell her an embarrassing story about myself just so she could trust me. nnShe eventually told me that 2 weeks before her recruit training finished she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. Right now I feel like garbage. nnSorry, have to go. I will back in 2 hours.
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I should just stop pisting here already i know is no good anyways. nI just lissend to a song one song. Read my last post for more details)nI am just tired of trying, staying living, putting up with others bs, i just wanted to kill the ones that had hurt me but the one i should kill is me. I have no reason to stay ,to have faith, to belive. I'll dye eventually si what's the point of suffering more and more. I don't wanna kill myself because i am afraid but in the same time this could be the only way to do something good for me and maybe to feel true happiness and love. I am tired of sleeping in tears just to wake up the next day , pretend that nothing had happened and put my mask back on. I hate feeling like i am going to throw up because of the mixed and overwhelming emotions, to hear all this sings about life and happiness and love, things i won't grt to experience. All i need is a big mistake a big something in my life to push me just a little bit, soi can finely say one last goodbye.nNow i am just preparing to sleep in tears again, with a new cut on my arm and a destroyed soul. I can't wait for the day i won't open my eyes again.
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Yhea , i'll be fine. Thanks tho!
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at this point, idk what will ever make me feel better. I've always struggled with my mental health but this year has been brutal for many many different reasons (covid, diagnosed with health issues, career transitions, family issues). nni wake up with so much anxiety every morning. the thought of just waking up is just so sad and hopeless to me, kinda like i know bad things are going to start to happen.nni've tried therapy, but i just can't relate or resonate the wishy washy things like writing affirmations, reminding myself positive things. When I journal, all my thoughts are negative, so that's not doing much either. I honestly feel like this is gonna be how it is for the rest of my life.
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thank you so much! I'm definitely going to be doing this - do you use any apps by any chance to help with this? It's strange because I used to never care about what I put in my body, but this year I committed to changing that. I don't drink coffee or alcohol, and I eat clean and exercise daily (due to my health condition) but my mood has just been spiraling in the past couple of months....
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Do you guys feel that you don't have anyone who really wants to talk to you. Like really ,really wanna talk. There could be like 50 messages on your phone but it is like they are just being kind .People don't like you,they dont wanna talk..they just keep up with you for the sake of it.
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Hmm, I guess I don't see a distinction here that's worth worrying about? If someone is
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How do i go about telling my support worker that not being able to manage my body hair is making me very depressed and self concious? nnGo right ahead and say it or......? Whats the best way to approach it somewhat delicatley and explain why its making me feel this way and why managing body hair is important to me?
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I was just very honest with my therapist about how my mental health affected my hygiene and how that would keep me in a depressive episode. It took me time to work up the nerve cause I had so much shame around it but once I did, it was such a relief. She so understood and worked with me on tools and a few emdr sessions that have really helped me. nYour support worker is there to support you, not judge you. Plus, I'm pretty sure they've seen and heard it all. nIf you feel like you can't be honest with them, it might be time to look for someone else. nGood luck to you!
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Like I'm over here having full conversations with just myself lol. I feel like I can articulate myself a lot better when I'm alone and speaking just becomes so much more natural for me. It doesn't feel like I'm being judged, so I tend not to trip over my words, stutter, or forget what to say; I just feel so much more confident and can enunciate my words more clearer when speaking alone. nnIs this normal? I swear social anxiety is making me go crazy…
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Oh cool. Ngl, late night walks sound so refreshing. Do you live on campus? I used to head to Taco Bell late at night a lot of times when I lived in the dorms. That place was open all night lol
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Hello friends, my intentions in posting here is to know community in an episode of increasing anxiety.nnI'm on week 2 of my 3 week trip through Spain and Europe. My trip began amazingly and felt life changing, for the first time in years I was talking to fellow travelers with little to no invasive thinking and self doubt. nnSomewhere around the midpoint in Berlin after the Pergammon museum I hit a sort of funk.. decisions on what to do next in the city came with great difficulty and slowness. I would eventually choose to aimlessly ride my bike around town. This represented the beginning of my descent into full blown anxiety now that I'm here for my first day in Paris.nnFor the past 5 days my anxiety and fretting about travel decisions has ramped up to the point where all I can do is lay in my dorm bed and scroll Reddit. My intention is to softly work with myself through this as is the only way I have known to work.nnWould love your support and recommendations on moving forward with the last week of my trip r/SocialAnxiety nnTL;DR: anxiety is keeping me from enjoying my vacation, I feel like I'm stuck abroad for the next week when I had felt like I was on top of the world earlier.
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Well I've had a great time in other larger European cities even using complicated metro systems with great success all over town. Something triggered me to start feeling this way two cities ago, and I must cope.nnI greatly appreciate your recommendation, I see many places with chairs facing outward to the street where I can decompress with something on my Kindle (reading first we make the beast beautiful which is spot on about mental illness). I'll see if I can't try this next time I'm greatly anxious. Thank you.
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And when did it start and how did it affect you?
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This is something I've been searching for my whole life. Something to blame it on. I've had social anxiety and low self-esteem for as long as I can remember. My parents divorced when I was young and there was some dysfunction with new girl/boy friends but I never had a traumatic childhood and I have 2 siblings who are very close to my age. So what happened to make me so different from my siblings? They're both so we'll adjusted while I've always been strange. I'd rather have something that 'caused' it then it just be who I was meant to be...
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I didn't think it was possible. Genuinely. I am the most awkward person ever. Most people can sense my anxiety after interacting with me for 0.001 seconds. I overthink how to say hello, miss the normal window and make it weird. But I can sometimes do okay when I know I only have to see someone once and literally will never meet them again. During one of those miracle times I met someone more anxious than me. nnI now understand why everyone hates me. Anxiety is not any easier to experience from the other side. He was a lot older and before he said a word I sensed his tension. He walked uncomfortably and spoke with the speed of Robin Williams without the charisma. I couldn't understand why he was behaving this way and I hated him even though I could fully understand and to relate to his overwhelming anxiety. It was so palpable I just wanted to get away from him as soon as possible. His laughter was forced and jarring, his attempts at conversation were rote and it was obvious he wasn't listening to my responses just waiting for me to stop talking to get to his next point. nnIt was so strange because I've never felt what its like to be on the other side. I thought it would feel empowering in a way, having someone
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I can somewhat relate. I have AvPD so I thought i'd never meet someone more anxious than me in person.. but I recently had someone cry mid sentence, cover their face in embarrassment, and run away from me after I politely told them I didn't need their help. (I'm in a wheelchair.) It made me feel so painfully uncomfortable to the point where I wished I could get up and run away too lol, I guess I mainly felt uncomfortable because I thought that could be me
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I must say I smoke a lot of . But I've discovered it's like a double edge sword. It helps at the moment but the moment the high starts to wear. Social anxiety sucks
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I have social anxiety and it's my no. 1 reason why I would never touch weed. I already know the extreme high followed by the extreme low of alcohol, I don't need that from weed.
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Hello, this post may be a little long but I need to get all of this out, and hopefully get some advice and support. It taken me about 3 days to work up the courage to post this, even anonymously because I'm hugely embarrassed about the issue. nSo here goes - I suffer with several mental health disorders, I guess the ones relevant to this story are an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, anxiety and depression. nSo I didn't have the best of childhoods, I suffered a lot of abuse and spent my teen years largely depressed and suffering from frequent panic attacks. I began university, and also began the worst 3 years of my life. I lived my degree and I lived my friends, but I fell extremely unwell suffering with an autoimmune issue and and bulimia. During all of this, I experienced a lot of suicidal ideation and honestly, never expected to get this far in my life and so I didn't take very good care of myself. As a result of this, my dental hygiene is very very bad. I experienced binging and purging during the height of my eating disorder, as well as suffering with grinding my teeth for many years on and off. nDue to all this, as well as not very good during my childhood, I now have very yellowed teeth, several with holes forming. Two of my back teeth have cracked with parts now missing of them and I'm not certain but I think my gums may actually be receding. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. In the last year I've made a tonee of progress, I'm eating healthier and I feel healthier, mentally and physically. However, this problem is severely messing with the stability I have, my body dysmorphia is extremely heightened and I'm worried I'll relapse with my eating in order to compensate for how I feel about how my face/teeth look. I'm scared and embarrassed to see the people that I know (when we are allowed to) and so agoraphobic tenancies have set in again. I feel so lost and stuck.nI don't have a dentist, I haven't for as long as I remember. I'm terrified and embarrassed and ashamed to find one. On top of that, in the UK I knkow you have to pay for dental care, I'm currently studying a masters degree, and my money is either spent on thing I need to complete more or course or helping to support my two younger siblings as my mum has arthritis and lost her job during the pandemic. I assume the work I'd need done is extensive, and I just can't afford the luxury.nI'm just looking for any sort of advice anyone has, because I currently feel lost and hopeless and I'm worried that I'm spiralling, I don't know what to do.nSorry this is so long, thanks to those who've taken the time to read.nnnTDLR - I have many mental health issues, many of which contributed to poor dental health. I'm embarrassed and ashamed and I don't think I can afford the work I'd need done. I feel like it's all causing me to spiral
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I don't really have the same first hand experience of needing dental work but ddevoria is probably on the right track with that. I know that there are a lot of charity and non profit groups that help people who can't afford to get necessary work done. You are doing the right thing. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm so proud of you for being able to admit that you need this, and starting the journey to be able to reach that goal. You got this!
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that's it. im sad. looks like I'll spend my year alone...
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Acceptance and calmness is key. Don't push yourself too much. You'll be okay
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Recently I've been so anxious in both social and non-social instances where I will literally begin to dry heave and gag. Does anybody else have this? I've actually vomited on 3 separate occasions.
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I literally gagged in class today and my teacher was like wtf. I just I don't know, I had an anxiety attack that lasted like 20 minutes.n
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Although I'm worried that this might not good enough, I decided to share it here too since lots of you encouraged me u2764ufe0fnnAfter being stuck in my tiny studio for a month due to Covid-19, I started playing around with mental health apps out there. However, I noticed that most of them require at least 10 mins or more for me to consume the audio content and I often run out of patience trying to finish them. I wanted an app that you can use without reserving much of your time.nnHappy is free to use and offers;nn* Breathing techniques for keeping calm and relaxedn* Shift your mind from stress and anxietyn* Affirmation and positive quotes to shape your dayn* Sleeping tips and tricksn* Calm relaxing music to enjoyn* Free unlimited secure private journaln* Online journal community to talk to people like youn* and more!nn**iOS:** (https://apps.apple.com/us/app/happy-a-mental-health-app/id1510821643)nn**Android:** (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ohsikllc.happy&hl=en_US)nnHope you find it useful. Stay safe!
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Ooooh gonna share with my psyche patients (if I'm allowed by the nursesz, that is!))
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idk whether this is exactly related to social anxiety but im currently a 21 male and passed my driving test at 17. even during my lessons, i would get very nervous... my legs would get very shaky which didnt help. not to mention, my spatial awareness is fucking dreadful and multitasking skills aint the best either way. anyway, when driving alone, it is okay, i still get a bit anxious but whenever there is a passenger, i absolutely hate it. ive only ever driven with my brother, dad and mum in the and they're all so judgemental which does not help at all. saying that 'no woman will love you if you're bad at driving' which makes me really down. i'm always worried about people watching me drive, for example, i'm not great at parking i hate it whenever people are around to see me park like an idiot. i feel like there's so much pressure, especially for a man to be good at driving. i really do try my best given the circumstances which i won't go into but yeah, i feel like a failure not being able to do the most basic things
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Get a job and move out. You can't surround yourself with people that will constantly put you down and make you more anxious.
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To be fair I only started this September I also commute rather than live on campus so that may be the reason, but I honestly cant see myself making any friends anytime soon. Do I have people to talk to? yeah sure, are they friends? nope, acquaintances maybe but I dont feel like we'd ever be friends,we're completely different people too. Maybe its just that im picky and dont want to get to know them, I dont know :/ Its just getting me down seeing my old friends with groups already formed at their unis. At this point i cant really be bothered to try anymore, although I must say its nice being able to talk to people without them already knowing all about me I get to start anew.nnnnQuestion: nAnyway how was your uni experience in regard to making friends? Did you meet any really great people or did you finish without ever making any true friends? I'm hardcore procrastinating writing an essay so I would love to read replies!nn
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I recently graduated, and had this exact same problem my first two years of school (so literally no friends for the first half of undergrad). A lot of people with social anxiety won't agree with this, but the way I got around it was joining a sorority u2014 not one of the big ones, but one of the smaller ones with a less socially strenuous recruitment process (think special interest or cultural sororities). I'm not super close with them, even now, but easy way to find a group of well-meaning students who are interested in getting to know more people.
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I have super bad social anxiety. I second guess everything I say and do constantly. I stress out about conversations I have with people days later. At times I worry about things that happened years ago. Sometime before bed I feel so overwhelmed I start crying.nnI also blush very easy I turn so red and blotchy when talking to people. This is starting to affect my career. I want to be able to relax and spend time with my bf without talking about all the things that worry me.
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I was hoping a bit it would just go away. I should do something. Do you if anxiety is all on my head or can it be hereditary?
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How did getting a gf/bf help with your social anxiety?
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I'd probably do that. Although I still overthink a lot when texting (don't really know what to say) I overthink less.nnI know the best relationships start out as friends, but I don't really have much friends that are girls.nnI would also probably start by messaging. Thank you for the tips
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Tomorrow will be my stores grand opening and we're expecting for it to get crazy (The media and photographers will be in the store). I've had little training and barely know about the companies background because of how hectic everything has been. This is my first retail job and I'm shitless scared. Like others that struggle with SA speaking up and interacting with others is my biggest fear. Any tips or brain tricks that can help me push myself out there and slowly lose my fear.
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If people are aholes to you, just ignore it, it's better for your mental health.
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And does it help?nn​nn(mainly trying to treat my GAD)
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Yes for sure. Definitely doesn't cure but makes it much more easy to manage
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I like pizza, I like this coworker. I do not like being in a crowded room trying to eat something messy and pretend like I'm not uncomfortable. I could grab a slice and go back to my cubicle, but that would look incredibly anti-social and ungrateful. Geez, just have the pizza out in the cube farm, then I don't have to feel like a dick.
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ThatCat hit it on the nose. And believe you me, it looks better than fainting lol.
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They make me nervous and I can't stand them. We have the opportunity to not see anyone thanks to the virus and an idiot thought it was a good idea to make this option available for everyone.
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In my line of work, when I'm in a video call, I'm also typically sharing my screen with the other person. Or, if I'm not sharing my screen, I'll just open a window or minimize the video software so I can't see the video call. I realize they can still see me, but not seeing their face makes it a little better for me.
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The title says it all. I feel like I'm socially inept and have been all my life. However, my girlfriend swears entirely against it. She thinks that if I were in fact bad socially I would have never gotten her. This line of thought is at its worst when I'm high, mostly due to anxiety. My girlfriend is the only person I really trust so her opinion is what's really throwing me for a loop. nnI'm probably going to work up the nerve to ask my sister or brother about it, if they confirm what my girlfriend said I'll probably look into anxiety meds. However if they can shed any light on possible autism in my childhood I don't know what I'll do.nnSo, can anyone share stories about my situation and how it worked out? I'm pretty uneasy about really cracking my personality open so I haven't made many moves.
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I have fleeting thoughts that I may have something more than just an anxiety disorder, like Autism. My
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Hey all, I really need help. Two of my friends have been dating for a few years and they just broke up. One is fine but the other needs help, help that seemingly doesn't exist. She has severe Anxiety and depression in her family and all around has had a bad past. She hasn't eaten in a week, and she says she cant eat without feeling like puking. she did go to the doctor and they gave her a nausea pill and Xanax which isn't helping. I have anxiety too so I've been trying to help the best I can, I gave her my doctors information who helped me a lot but I'm not sure if or when she will see them. I also have been talking to her a lot and offering any help I can. I've tried telling her everything I know how to deal with anxiety but she says it isn't working. She also says she hurts a lot in her chest and stomach which I'm pretty sure is from anxiety. I don't know how to help my friend and I'm really worried. any and all help is appreciated and if there's somewhere better to post this please let me know. I don't use reddit a lot.
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I have been in a similar place as your friend and over the last few weeks have lost a lot of weight. It's true that eating is important but managing the panic is also a top priority. A nice broth or noodle soup might be a little easier for her to take in. And if she wants something cool, maybe a healthy smoothy.nnAnd I agree she needs to talk to a crisis counselor. I've been doing a fair bit of that and it really can make a difference. nnHer nervous system is panic mode and she needs to be in situations that help her feel safe and relaxed. These things may not always make sense and they can change randomly, but she need to listen to her gut and try to be in comforting situations.nnI have sever abandonment issues and your friend may as well. I my case I was recently diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder. The thought that I can start to heal and put my abandonment issues to rest is a huge comfort and it keeps me going. nnYour friend is lucky to have you. Make sure you both are kind to yourselves and have faith that things will improve. I will pray for all of you <3
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i got a haircut yesterday when i went to go sit down so that the guy could cut my hair i started panicking my heart was beating really fast and my stomach was hurting. i started to control my breathing and i just did it until i stopped panicking. every time ive went to cut my hair ive never panicked like that , that was scary but atleast i made it through
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i dont even like the haircut, im not saying the barber did a bad job what im saying is that the haircut isnt for me
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a few days ago i was talking to an old friend of mine and i told her i didn't make any new friends in college. she got a little surprised and said ‘but usually people generally just gravitate towards you and try to talk to you right? it was like that in school' and i remembered how i used to talk to anyone without thinking about it twice. but now every time i see a new person my brain just gets foggy and i avoid them and if its in a situation where i have no choice but to talk to them i mull over what i'm going to say for too long and be awkward and end up being off putting to them. its been like this for the last 5 years and i'm sick of it.
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me too! and therapy felt useless for a while because i thought they would not say anything to me that i already didn't know, but recently i saw it help a friend with her anxiety. so i'm thinking of going too but its frustrating because when i think of making an appointment with a therapist i get anxious to the point where i feel sick. guess i'll just have to toughen up and do it. hope you find a way out too!
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I feel like therapy could really help me but I'm too anxious to get help. I also don't like the idea of talking to a therapist on zoom.
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Of course! im so scared to reach out to anyone since i dont trust my siblings or my family. i remeber trying to talk to them once but i felt like they didnt understand me and i kept remebering a time that they said i was being dramatic. i hope that you are well and okay, i know i cannot do much but i hope this comment lets you know that you are amazing!
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I'm just over fifty and have struggled with depression and social anxiety for thirty years. nnDespite meds and therapies nothing has beaten it.
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34 too and I swear, it gets worse and worse!
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(Sorry about my broken english) I have depression and anxiety since I can remember. I take pills and do therapy for more then 3 years straight, but work is really being a trigger for me right now. I don'thave a good relationship with my parents so I have to work to aford living by my own (and thus making my life a little easier). I started getting very stressed at work in January/February cause I no longer agree with the company politics and values, and I was looking for another job. Then the pandemic came and I couldn't leave cause 1) I work with molecular biology/diagnosis and for a while things in work were challenging, exciting and important enough for me to keep it going 2) economy and job offers went to space (even in my field) Since July things got really bad and I just keep feeling worse and worse everyday. I dont even have the willingness to look for jobs anymore. Two weeks ago I got stressed with some news at work and started having strong chest pain and shortness of breath. I went to the hospital thinking I was dying (I'm only 25 years old and don't have other major medical problems) but it was a major anxiety attack and I had to be sedate. I had a lot of anxiety crisis during my life but nothing was like that. Now I'm back having minor anxiety crisis everyday (tachycardia, dizziness, sweating) just like I had earlier in my life. Besides my regular pills, I have extra ones to take in emergencies like that but I'm trying not to take them cause I don't want to accept that my work will make me do to that. My psychiatrist asked if I wanted a work leave (max of 2 months with government payments after comprobatorial medical evaluation) to help me get a little better and start looking for jobs or other options. But (of course) I'm having a hard time to accept that extreme measure and I'm worried about what my work colleagues will think of me. They know I have those problems but they will judge my leave anyway (and yes, I think about them cause I don't feel like I have a lot of other people around). Idk, I'm very confused. I feel like I had to accept the damage from my family for surviving purposes, and now I'm free and won't let anything or anyone put me in this position again, but at the same time I want to be realistic and put it together cause I know mostly all work environments sucks.
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Yeah it's definitely a hard decision to make. Maybe if you're not ready yet you can try doing small things that make you happy. Maybe take a day off here and there as well. Anything safe to keep the anxiety down for now. See how it goes and re-evaluate after some time.
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Hello everyone,nI'm 22 working as a software developer. I'm an introvert and find it difficult to talk to new people other than something that's related to my work. It's been about 1 and half years since I joined this job and I have made only 1 friend that too through a friend of mine who joined with me to this company (she was my friend in college).nnI have few school and college friends(4 exactly) but they are all living so far away and I'll be able to meet a few of them once in a month if I'm lucky.nnI find it increasingly difficult in office to talk to people nowadays and even my friends there are not exactly helping. One guy will be very busy all the time and the other girl has lots of friends so she won't talk to me very often. nnNext week the entire team (108 people) is a going to a 4 day trip and I said I'm coming because it's a nice place. But I'm terrified and feeling very depressed because I don't think I'll be able to talk to anyone there. Some of them just see me as this weird dork. :( And, only that girl is coming and she'll be with her gang so I'll just be lonely the entire time. Adding to this, I have pretty low vision so I actually need someone to be with me especially at nights and I don't think anyone in my office even cares about it.nnI don't know what to do and I'm freaking out. Please help me. Thanks.nnEdit: I'm a guy and I'm terrified of talking to girls. The only girl friend I made is because she sat next to me in college lab and she would ask me to help with computers.
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I work at a warehouse and go all day speaking to no one, only people I speak with EVER is my Fiancu00e9, and my kids. My mother passed away in 2015, both sets of grand parents, father passed away 2 months ago. I know I have PTSD from watching my mother take her last breath and watching her die after being in a comma. She had a vegetation on her heart that spread to all of her organs and shutting them down. She started having seizures and the Dr's told me there was no coming back. I had to make the decision to take her off life support. I Fiance, grand father, Aunt and Uncle sit and waited an hour for her to die. I can't get the image of her opening her eyes and raising her head up looking at the ceiling like she was seeing GOD or something and exhaling loudly and that was it. nnI have worked at this place for 7 years and since 2015 I have been different. I don't speak, don't even know how to have a conversation with people. If I am able to speak to someone if they keep the conversation going, I can small talk.. but I dont' know how to keep a conversation going. It makes me feel so awkward. It doesn't help that i'm 42, and most of hte people I work with are in their early 20's and I have nothing in common with them. The ones that are my age act like they are in high school, never serious, never use their brain for anything other than making up a fart/poop joke. nnI'm in my own head 10 hours a night at work. 90% negative thoughts and I can't change it. I have tried to revert to something positive.. but as soon as I lose my focus it's like dominos and leads back to the same traumatic thoughts. I recently told my GF about the 3 times I had a gun pointed in my face, each time the person was DRUNK DRUNK and easily could have killed me. Until her reaction I didn't realize how traumatic that is. I live 2 hours away from where I grew up, up till my 30's. And I have lost everyone, almost all of my family and I look back on my past and don't feel like it was my life. Like, the memories aren't mine. So I really don't know who I am anymore. nnI have been put on so many different medications, anti depressants, anti psychotics, you name it. Nothing helped. I really need to connect to other humans.
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Really sorry to hear about your past it too much to deal with. Feel free to chat if you would like.
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I'm a 19 years old female and I struggle with bad anxiety and panic attacks. I have been to the doctors and go to therapy regularly but yet I still struggle with panic attacks and it's taking away from me living my life to it's fullest. Does anyone have any tips they use?
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Yes, if I may. Anxiety is the result of focusing too much on the future. Planning in many cases is a complete waste of energy and removes us from the present moment. We do it out of fear of what might happen if we do not, but in reality we make things worse when we spend too much time in the future. This type of thinking is caused by trauma to our systems, so to heal it it will be important to identify the factors and behaviors associated with your fears. If you can face your fears, cry and push through them... eventually you will see that everything is going to be okay. I recommend finding someone who is safe to talk to about your fears and find a better way to manage them. Best wishes.
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So I had a thing with a friend of a friends this summer. It was my first ever relationship with anybody (21). So obviously (khm social anxiety khm) I was scared shitless of everything.nMy biggest insecurity was not being interesting enough because I was not yet comfortable with this person to truly be myself.nnSo fast forward a couple of months, he breaks it off, saying he needs to process his past (ex cheated) and that I was not the reason.nnWell, come to find out today, he actually thought I was too boring and that he didn't have anything to talk about when he was with me. FUCK, now all my fears are...validated?nnI won't lie, it hurts a lot and tommorrow when I wake up I know I will be crushed. But I think I have grown so much in the last year that I'm starting to change a bit. Trying to stop tearing myself down for the problems I face.nnYes, I have social anxiety and yes, it's a part of me. But I am done feeling depressed over it, done feeling not loveable because of it.nnI'm working on myself and I should be proud of that and I love the person who I am becoming, even if I'm still awkward with new people. It's just who I am and someone who loves me should accept that:)
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I appreciate that! n nAnd you get it! They really don't deserve to be with you if they can't be understanding of a condition you have. It doesn't make you boring or 'bad' in any way. We just have things going on, y'know? You also like what you like? I like certain things other people might not like. I try to resonate with the things we share in common, though. If dude can't find something to share in common with you, maybe it's his issue? People are pretty multifaceted. That's why it's also necessary to communicate those interests, too. People are meant to share. n nUhg, I can't stand that. That's why it helps finding people who really resonate with you? When you do, it wont feel like a struggle to keep the conversation flowing. It just feels good. Natural. n nAgain, that's really, really sweet of you. I try to just speak from the heart. People have told me It's a rarity these days, when it really shouldn't be. I guess I've been through so much, I have nothing to lose by showing my heart? From what I can tell, he seems like an idiot tho.n nI hope so too it's nice to have people to share things with. Like I said, I get it, all around. nnYou seem really cool to me. Hope you have a better New Year :< don't look back, just look forward gurl n nEdit: I'm always looking for more friends? I'm actually trying to overcome my own social anxieties. If you're kewl, DM me! We can see if we vibe. If we don't, no pressure. If we do, rad! nnThank you for the compliments you seem really sweet
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As a child three girls bullied me for a bit. In high school people were mean and I felt alone and towards the end I had to cut people from my life because of how cruel they were. Now I'm at uni and once again I'm attracting toxic people. My roommate is a manipulator so I'm always alert when she's speaking to me. A guy showed interest in me but turned out to be just a flirt who gains power from other peoples feelings. What is it about me that attracts toxic people all the time. I've tried to keep it all together and keep working but I can't because I'm just so empty inside now. There's no point in crying and there's no point in fighting so I just sit, sigh and keep trying to keep up with the world. I'm a good person - I'm kind to everyone. Yet people don't seem to care about me, I'm not even sure who to trust anymore or what to do. I'm going home a lot now even tho I have a place at uni to avoid the people there. Out of all the shit I received in high school I worked my ass to get to uni in hopes of a better future - but all that future is, is just work and being hurt and let down by people over and over again. I'm so sick of it. You know what's the best thing you could be in this world, is a mean selfish person. Because you'll get far. If you're like me and kind, you'll just get picked on by the world and feel forever lost and hopeless and alone,
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That doesn't exist where I live. It's probably different in the US or bigger countries but where I live none of that exists.
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Also did you go to college?nnI don't know if I can handle a full time job. I don't know what do anymore. It's hard finding what I want. And interviews are the worst.nI'm curious what you all do especially with social anxiety
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That's sounds like a good job honestly. I get you about the doctors and nurses. I was a medical assistant for a year and I hated my coworkers. I was fine dealing with patients. The doctors though im sorry but I feel like they were so full of themselves. I couldnt handle it so I quit
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I have always had social anxiety but as a kid everyone thought I was a shy kid(I thought the same).As I grew older, I figured out not everyone has to prepare themselves mentally for days for a social outing or even an interaction.I do well on these social interactions even ace it but it's the days leading up to this interactions that's the challenge for me. Also I don't voluntarily contribute to meetings and dread giving presentations! Would therapy and medications help me with these issues?
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Any help does in fact help.
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I have social anxiety when it comes to talking to females I always subconsciously think that I'm not good enough for them because of my rough pass with not finishing high school and my living situation right now I am 20 years old I live with my uncle and has a girlfriend and I don't think I could get a girlfriend in these conditions it's not like I am struggling I have a good job and I am working Towards bigger things right now but I just get lonely from time to time every time I think of having a loved one.nHow should I handle this feeling?
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I used to feel that way. Then when I ignored females and gave up the pursuit, they started noticing me. It's really the only way I know that really works. All of nature is like this. If I pat the couch and tell my dog to sit with me, he looks at me like I'm an asshole and he walks away. If I ignore him, he sits on the couch. It's called the law of attraction. If you really want to develop your mind, DM me and I'll tell you some books that might help you in your journey.
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Please I need help so badly. I am afraid so I don't go and avoid social interaction. But not going makes me also feel bad. We never really had visitors or anything so the only social interaction I know is from school and stuff. I don't know how to do it if that makes sense. I don't how to text and meet people. Everytime I have social interactions planned I csn't go in the end because I also have ADHD and the selfmade stress from it makes me sick. I suck at planning so most of the stuff I plan doesn't work out. I also am scared of asking somone to do something with me because of social anxiety and because I am scared of rejection and them being annoyed. What the fuck do I do? I hate this but I csn't seem to get out of it, it has never been different in my life, I am 18 btw. I am also scared to tell this to people face to face because I am scared they won't like me anymore if they even did before. What the fuck am I supposed to do. All this makes me suicidal
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Reishi concentrated powder. You will start to feel so calm and cool with continued use. Level headed. Calms the nervous system and eases anxiety. Experiment with dosage.
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Sorry for the wall of text in advance... I've been talking to this guy I met online and he seemed pretty sweet and I thought he was kinda cute. I warned him about my SA and about how nervous I was to meet him so I suggested he come see me at work (pizza shop) so I couldn't stand him up... nnSo I was waiting for like an hour and a half after he said he was coming and I was sick with anticipation thinking he wouldn't like me. I had to sit down for a bit because I thought I was gonna pass out. I didn't even consider the fact that perhaps I wouldn't like him. His photos weren't remotely accurate, he was really sweaty and smelt like a hospital. And I did not like his attitude. He saw a woman walk past the store and was like 'shit I don't know if that's a young Asian boy or a real dykey Asian lady' and I dunno, comments like that make me uncomfortable. He also mentioned how filthy his house is (I'm a crazy neat freak) and I wanted to be sick. All up I was so shocked at how I thought I liked someone but he seemed soo different irl. nnI don't think I can ever meet up with someone I met online again. I was so scared for him to come and see me and he wasn't at all what I expected. I don't wanna go through that anticipation for nothing again. And I don't know how to tell this guy I don't really like him after all... The thought of upsetting him or making him angry at me makes me feel horrible. I will probably end up just never messaging him again because I'm a coward but then I'm worried because he knows where I work and might come see me again... I am not going to be comfortable there anymore. What a bad idea. nnI'm sorry I just don't really have anyone to talk to and I can't get his hospital smell out of my nose. nnNow I feel mean for writing all this about him. I am not going to leave my house this weekend. I feel really shallow now but I think my dislike of him is grounded...? I don't know. I feel like the worst person.
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You don't have any obligation to elaborate If you feel comfortable, do so. If not, just don't reply. That is what I would do at least.
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I made a new friend, and felt pleased that someone liked me for who I was and wanted to get to know me better, quirks and all.nIt turned out she's friendly with everyone. It's awesome she's so inclusive and sociable to everybody, but it made me feel less special. I don't know if that even makes sense, but I thought you guys might understand.
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Don't be so hard on yourself buddy
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Funny thing, just before quarantine happened, I was just getting better. I wasn't anxious or depressed too much, I could leave my house, talk to people, get work done, etc.nnHowever, ever since quarantine happened, I've tried to stay positive. Soon enough, not doing anything has lead to my depression and anxiety to spike. I haven't been able to do ANYTHING. I go to the store sometimes with my gramma, but at home, I haven't been able to even do things I used to be able to do.nnI can't draw, I can't shower, I can't get my schoolwork done, I can't even keep my room clean. Plus, on the schoolwork, they're handing out two weeks worth of school work and expecting it done in ONE week because we u201chave lots of free timeu201d. And I also have really bad attention issues, bad time management, bad motivation, and a bad urge to stand up when I've been in the same place for five minutes.nnMy teachers are all concerned, I haven't gotten any of their work done except for work from the first two weeks. I then gave up. Now, most of the time, I'm laying in bed, on my phone, with no motivation or nothing better to do.nnI miss school. It kept me healthy. Now even my eating schedule has gone to shit. I either don't eat anything for a whole day, or I eat too much.nnAnyone else messed up by quarantine?
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Thank you for the advice :) Sometimes I just need to remember that things get worst before they get better. I forget that a lot, thanks. Hope you're okay, stay strong!
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Today has been really rough. I don't want to go into details, but I have had 3 or 4 panic attacks. I realized it is not normal and that I can't continue to rely on others for support 24/7. I am going to a place Monday to check it out and get some help. nnHow was your experience with it? Would you recommend going? Ive never been to therapy so Idk if it is for me or not. But 3 attacks a day is not normal and I know I need help.
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Therapy has been the single best thing I did for my anxiety. Therapy is actually the only way to truly remove anxiety from your life instead of covering it with medications or muddling through. Therapy can and will help you. :)
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I know some cases I just can't comprehend how someone with social anxiety manages to get a girlfriend/boyfriend and keeps them. Thoughts?
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Some people help reduce your social anxiety because they make you more comfortable, I completely spiralled after my last break up and still haven't recovered.
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I say something I wanna say at the time, and regret it later. nnDo you guys usually spark up conversation? I feel weird if I don't say anything.
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I usually don't make any convo unless they initiate it first just a simple hello and thank you seems good enough to me
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Having to see people and greet them and pretend that I haven't getting a panic attack for every little interaction while worrying that everybody either hates me or finds me a weirdo/arrogant it's the worst. And it repeats every single day. I don't know how long I can take of this.
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Totally agree on this one. Remote work is the worst. It makes you all the more anti social and less confident.
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I seriously can't kick it for good. I even mentally hate it and then impulsively, almost while watching myself make the mistake, buy a Redbull or have coffees back to back. nnIt has made my eating disorder remain, it's caused my defensiveness and paranoia and anxiety to fuck up my life so much. But the sleep hygiene and eating issues make me tired so I always turn to it to not feel tired and depressed.nnI just hate how addicted and impulsive I am, I hate how I've been struggling with this for most of my adult life, and how overcoming this, getting sleep hygiene, help with a eating disorder, and somehow finding work that's not too stressful my anxiety can manage it, seems so difficult but simple for most of society.
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Does caffeine kill your appetite? Like if you are starving hungry but you drink a triple espresso drink from Starbucks (or wherever) does your hunger go away?
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Who claim to have a lot of understanding and empathy for mental health issues or use their own as an example of said experience and understanding, and say you can open up to them, but then are patronising and condescending when you do, acting like they are an expert and that you are inferior for expressing your feelings openly in a vulnerable way. I guess because they think they handle their mental health better than you by ‘keeping it together' in public when the nature of two peoples symptoms come from vastly different backgrounds and challenges.nnThis has happened to me with two people and I ditched them, it felt disgusting. Such a let down. I realised to generally not talk about this stuff too openly with anyone because whatever their intentions most people just can't resist the temptation to look down on you.
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I'm coming to a similar state of mind myself after too much disappointment. I think it's healthy to have this ability because even if we do end up finding understanding people we need to be prepared for times we are alone or in antagonistic environments. I still like to believe there are better relationships ahead as I get better socially and I won't emotionally invest much in anyone who I know wouldn't be able to handle me on one of my bad days.
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So I've heard a lot about this, but I feel like it would make my anxiety much worse. There have been several times in which I have tried to purposely speak to others, go places to get myself comfortable around people but it only made me feel infantile and even more anxious as I have the social age of like a 12 year old and makes me revert and go into a dee depression.
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For me not really, like before i got anxiety meds any social interaction at all just made me freak out and feel worse, once being on meds for a bit I was able to start doing more social rhings, so i guess now it is working. I think it just depends on your level of anxiety of whether that will work or you need something else to push you more
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I'm not sure if I have social anxiety, I've researched it a ton and I experience all of the symptoms possible and I relate to a lot of the experiences of people who actually have diagnosed social anxiety, I'm scared to ask my mum to see if I can get diagnosed and get therapy or something but I'm not sure because I could be overreacting and am just really shy also she thinks I'm this perfect child and I don't want her to realise how messed I am, I don't think anyone will respond but what do you think I should do?
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same
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idk what it is about this holiday in particular but seeing everyone have parties and get dressed up has made me loathe halloween. last time i did something social for halloween was trick or treating as a kid. i'm 20 now and the past 7 or so years have been spent alone at home. it just hurts so bad. all i want is to be normal and go to parties like everyone else my age. i bought myself a costume so i can at least take pictures and feel hot but it's just not the same ):
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Do you have any family or friends with kids? You could join them
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The worst depression episode I've been through. I'm numb. all i want to do is sleep. I honestly can't describe what I'm feeling because I feel nothing. Try to snap out of it but I can't. I want to feel better but I don't know how. I have no passion or desire for life anymore .These episodes come and go but never this strong. If this is a never ending cycle I don't want to continue. nHave you ever talked to anyone about this and you can just see how uncomfortable it makes them? I feel so alone and wrong for feeling like this.
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I feel you... you are not alone...u2764ufe0fu2764ufe0fu2764ufe0f
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the last time i had a friend who actually liked me was 5 or 6 years ago in high school. but he moved away so i havent had anyone actually like me since thennnwhen i went to college i didnt make any friends in all 4 years. people rarely talked to me in college and when they did it wasnt because they wanted to be friends. it was mostly because they felt bad for me.nnthen after college i started my first job and nobody likes me here either. for the first week people would come into my office and say hi and bye but thats it. thats not really anything. after awhile (without me doing ANYTHING) they just stopped doing that. now nobody at work talks to me either. when someone comes in the office they say hi to everyone else except me. everyone else seems perfectly fine with everyone else. just not mennwhen i started, another new person started 1 week after me. literally within their starting week they became best friends with everyone and a
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Riddle me this,nndo you go out of your way to socialize in your office? People avoid you because it's a one way street it seems. I'm also in an office with the same situation as you but I acknowledge it's because I don't put forth an effort to make people feel comfortable around me. You can't just expect people to come to you without anything in return.
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To me it's okay if I have 0 friends, I don't care anymore and I have no intentions of making new friends (I don't know the concept of real life friendship but this is not a problem to me), but... at least, as an adult, I want to be able to do normal things without being so terrified. Speaking louder at work, ordering products, complaining if someone treated me bad at the grocery store or if there is something wrong with a product I bought, that kind of stuff (especially if I have to do that things every day). nI wish I had a tutorial or a guide of how to ask for something or how to say things with the correct tone in specific contexts and not looking like an idiot, everything would be easier. Human interaction is so stressful.nSorry for my grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language
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Relatable. I even think I'm bothering people when I'm applying for jobs, Praktika etc. Lmfao
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Whenever I talk with other people, I always feel uncomfortable when I talk about my hobbies or about my feelings / thoughts (Even now, that I'm writing this post). I seriously don't know why I'm like this, so I'm asking if there's anyone, who feels like or me, or knows any tips to overcome this
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The most common psychological interpretation would focus on self-esteem issues or say you're just a “type” of a person (a classic example of it like you have signs of introversion).
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Social anxiety is ruining my life, i get nervous whenever i look into someone's eyes. Help!
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Idk about you, but for me, there's a lot of stuff going on in my head.nAre my hands placed right, do they hate my teeth, is my breath bad, am I looking at them too much, or not enough. I think it's a pretty hard thing to overcome without therapy. I ended up looking at the bridge of their nose.nNow I can look someone in the eyes if I trust them.
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I'm trying to figure out if anyone experiences the same things I do when walking out in public. Because the feelings are quite weird and I really don't understand them.nnWhen I'm going from one place to another, especially when catching the train, I start to feel like I am going to cry and incredibly sad. I'm also really anxious and my stomach is tight and all that but I just get this overwhelming feeling of being really sad. And I believe it shows in my face aswell (looking really sad). The only way I can explain it is like in those reality tv shows about ghost hunting and a medium will say 'I've just got this overwhelming saddness come over me' lol. It really is just like that and its really hard to fight it or switch it off. nnBut as soon as I get to a safe place such as home or some semi-secluded area its stops quite quickly and I feel normal again. But I also feel incredibly exhausted after that experience. nnDo you get this aswell? Is there anything I can do about it?
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I feel like I'm walking like a penguin out in public lol, so uncomfortable.
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Does medication help or worsen your social anxiety?
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Tum fir se aa gaye
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Masks helped me cope with feeling insecure and not having to be so conscious of watchful eyes.
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Covid is over enough at this point to go on living without masks. Not much value in them at this point unless you are immunocomprised or something
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i hope everyone has some time off to enjoy these holidays with family/friends and have a good time. thanks to everyone who contributes to this subreddit as it has helped me a lot
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Merry Christmas everyone! For anyone else (like me) who may not find the idea of visiting with extended family (or even just close family) terribly enticing, rest assured! It's only for one day and who knows, you may end up not finding it so bad afterwards! In fact, you might even enjoy the experience, so go out there and fucking celebrate the holidays!
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because of SA and all that. When i say never i mean it. Can anyone relate?n
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I'm exactly the same, except that I don't think I have SA. But I don't have any female friends nor male friends. Sadly, I don't think I ever will. You aren't alone
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Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit.... Two friends of mine and I wanted to go out to a club nearby. We were drinking and smoking mary jane. One of the friends wanted to take a hit. I think that she had done it before but I am not sure if it ever had an effect on her. it was a very small dose. She is a girl who has some mental problems (similar to mine - social anxiety/depression etc). I told her to be careful with the vine after smoking, but I think she also drank too much. I myself was pretty wasted and dont know how much exactly she drank. So we went to the club and everything seemed fine until she threw up in the bathroom and called herself an ambulance! The other friend and I helped her to go outside to the ambulance! She cried all the time and covered her face with her hands. I feel like shit now... I dont know. But I feel very guilty. I just hope that they wont keep her for long in the hospital. Because they brought her to a hospital specialized on mental disorders and neurology. The doctors said that I shouldn't come with them. Now I am lying awake and wait until morning so I can go visit her or at least call. I need to go there anyways because she has cats at home. It's all my fault...
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Personal responsibility dude!!! It's not your fault!
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I wanna know does SA ever go away after school or not, cause it is definitely hard to have it while in school.nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/sj7sgh)
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Other : working and it's hell with anxiety.
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I don't know what's so off putting about me, but people act like they want to be my friend and disappear. I get on the problem, just don't know why. Makes me want to keep being quiet and hide from people.
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And if it happens after a couple of months ?
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Hello everyone :)nn(I hope this is okay to post here)nnI'm an aspiring UX designer currently working on some projects for my portfolio. One of the ideas I'm working on is designing an app for people with social anxiety to help them step outside of their comfort zone and make friends. I was wondering if people on this sub would be interesting in filling in a survey (haven't created it yet) as part of my user research? It would be to help me gain better insight into different aspects of making friends those with social anxiety struggle with, both in person and online?nnIf you have any immediate thoughts or feelings as well, please share below :)
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I'm so glad to hear it! Though I don't have social anxiety I have also made a lot of online friends and having that all in one dedicated space would be really neat ^.^
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Hello, this is my first reddit post, idk why I'm writing this on reddit but I don't want to bother my friends anymore whit the same problem again and again.nI think I'm depressed, I can't live normally like I used to. There was a time were I woke up early everyday, got to bed slightly late but not really (3 a.m?) for me at least and I was good with myself and everyone around me.nI don't know why this year took a turn to the worst, I always suffered from anxiety (certified by my psychologyst) but I started to turn paranoid for everything, I have a girlfriend that is very caring to me but sometimes I just feel her distant, I don't know if it's her or me but when we started dating things weren't like this... (I know things normally changes from the start of the relationship but I'm not talking about 1/2 months, I think it lasted around 6/7) and I don't know if there's a problem or if it's me... I'm constantly doubting myself in everything I do, in everything I say and if I say something unfanny or that I consider cringe I just want to run and cry, human relationships began to be difficult and I couldn't/can talk like I always did with my friends.nEveryday I want to remain in bed and cry because I can't do anything, I'm just too sad or can't focus on anything I do.nI really don't know what to do or how to get out from this situation, I just want me to return how I used to be but I'm constantly doubting everything. I can't talk to my therapist because she is absent by WEEKS now and I don't know what to do... can I ask for some advice?nI admit I thought about suicide but I don't think this is the best option, I'm nearly giveupping living but I don't want to... I just want to be happy nnsorry if the grammar is a mess and I can't really talk, this is just a flow of thoughts but I want some help.
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Hey friend, it sounds like you're in a very dark place. It's okay, we've all been there. It sounds like you're under a lot of stress and anxiety, so you should try to get back in contact with a therapist. If you can't contact your current one, please consider looking tor another one because it sounds like you're in a crisis situation and need to start making a support system. I'm proud of you for reaching and out and I want you to know I believe in you! Feel free to message me if you need a friend to talk to
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Movies always show the misfits. And yet, we all know that in reality the protagonists are those who fit in society effortlessly.nnThose who grew up in the perfect home, and had a rich, stable family background with parents who love and dote on them. They got sent to sports classes or ballet classes or dance classes and had all the opportunities to make plenty of friends. Their parents showed up to their concerts and would cheer for them. They were dressed in the prettiest clothing and never once felt ugly.nnThey never felt ashamed of who they were, where they came from, what they were, how they acted. And when they grew up they just had that natural presence, that natural charisma. Because of proper upbringing they were gracious, kind, angelic and everyone loved them. Everyone wanted to celebrate their birthday with them. They were always wanted, liked, and appreciated.nnAnd I like them too. It's hard not to see why people would like them. nnAnd sometimes I want to be them. I want to be Heather. I'm a judgy, awkward, cold, standoffish, selfish, tactless person and the opposite of a Heather. I wish, just for once in my life, I were a Heather. The perfect life. Loved by everyone.
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? I'm saying that movies aren't realistic because they always glorify being a misfit. When in reality we know that the protagonists or those who shine the most are those who fit in.
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It makes it so much worst because i can't even tell myself they aren't because i can see them looking at me, even though they actually ( probably?) aren't. Every time i walk past someone i can see them looking at me through the corners of my eyes and i constantly feel watched. Because i feel watched i stop being able to function properly and don't know how to stand/ just exist and do things because i feel stupid doing anything. I try to avoid looking at people as much as possible and it adds to my social anxiety because i know i look strange in public but i can't help it.
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Mirror them
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I am working through some major anxiety (currently in therapy). One of my biggest hurdles right now is making it to class. I attend about half of my classes (way better than last semester. Yay!) but each one is a struggle. When I do go, I prefer to keep my head down. I keep up on all my assignments and receive modest grades (3.4 GPA) so that isn't really a problem. nnMy question is what do I tell the professors when they say
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(https://soundcloud.com/sandymonster/social-anxiety-part-2)nnnGood luck with your social anxiety!!
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(https://roundglass.com/living/meditation/events/moon-meditation-for-self-care?fbclid=IwAR1bG7qHzKT3nXx9CbsUmIk-j6X3EUAb7ygfn-xgOnXoMbo_Mq81lVL80bg)
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Is this satire
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That way you won't be hurt when others act badly towards you.
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This is not good advice for a person who wants to live a normal, happy and positive life.
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People often look at me with disgust or says bad things while passing by me. I feel like its useless for me to go to the gym.
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haha I am the opposite of overweight. I just have a bad looking face
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I have really bad anxiety when it comes to singing in front of anyone. I'm not a singer or anything, I'm just talking about casually singing like singing along to a song in the car or singing along with friends or family when music is playing. I'm not worried about my voice/what I sound like but I just can't bring myself to sing around anyone. When I'm at home by myself I enjoy listening and singing along to music. But if music is playing around other people and I want to sing, I just can't, I feel like I freeze up. I suffer with social anxiety and can be quite awkward anyway and I feel like this singing fear just makes things even more awkward for me. For example, I don't go to bars or clubs with friends because everyone is able to dance and sing and enjoy the music and I'll just sit there awkwardly doing nothing even though I want to enjoy it. I've been in situations where I've gone to a bar with friends and just left straight away because I feel so awkward and feel like people probably think I'm weird. Another example is when I'm in the car with someone and they're playing music and singing along and I'm just sat awkwardly feeling uncomfortable, I won't even bop my head to the music. But when I'm home by myself or with my sibling (the only person i can sing in front of), I enjoy the music and sing. Growing up, I was fine and never had this issue. It's been going on for about 10 years. And now that its been so long, I feel like people are so used to me being silent and if I was to just start singing they would be shocked. I won't even play music at home if my parents home. It might not sound like a big deal but I just want to overcome it as it stops me from going out and being able to enjoy certain things. And when I do go out I just feel like I'm so boring because of it. I've never met anyone else with this problem and I've never told anyone about this because I feel it would just make it more awkward for me. Has anyone else gone through this or does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this?
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this is EXACTLY how i am too, it sucks.
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I capitalize very because I have never heard anyone who has had the condition as bad as me. When I first developed the condition, I would have social anxiey panic attacks from looking in the eyes of animals. I would also have panic attacks when characters in video games stopped talking. I couldn't look game characters in the eyes.nnMaybe others have had it worse but I've never heard anyone else have social anxiety induced panic attacks from non-existent video game characters or pet animals.nnZoloft did work for me I was on 200mg per day. Not a total cure but it worked.nnHallucinogenic compounds worked better. This should be known.nnI quit Zoloft because of two trips on LSD combined with DMT. I experienced complete ego death and oneness with everything. I don't really have symptoms of SAD anymore.nnI didn't NEED to quit the meds, after all they were having no negative effect but still. Maybe I'll go back on for different issues like depression as I seem to have that... I never realized I had conditions aside from social anxiety. Or it could simply be withdrawal I dunno. But the social stuff is cured.nnThe main experience that triggered this change was so intense I actually tear up discussing it. Just totally overwhelming. When I remember some of the feelings and realizations I come close to crying. I did shed tears at the time.nnMaybe something to consider.
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Cannabis is horrendous and gives me panic attacks. Even though I know it's safe it CAUSES panic, like directly.nnCocaine is not very effective, it's overrated. It would be effective for someone without any social anxiety who's also a bit drunk. But for someone with social anxiety I think you'd be underwhelmed.nnAlcohol works but is a poison and you will wake up puking for 24 hours etc. It also doesn't completely work. There's residue social anxiety just not as much. Once you drink enough to approach people you will sound like an idiot because you will be slurring etc - the cure to that is amphetamine which makes you seem totally sober - but that is dangerous if you don't realize it does this because it can cause you to drink way too much to the point of alcohol poisoning since you seem sober (the inhibitions are still removed from alcohol).nnBecause alcohol is a drug and IMO one of the most harmful, I now drink only in moderation then get the rest of the way with other substances. Personally I do this so I wake up feeling fit and healthy rather than puking etc.nnMDMA in proper doses will REMOVE social anxiety completely. At least I did it once while tipsy on alcohol and it did this. Not just lowering of inhibition, but ZERO inhibition, you are completely and utterly convinced that everything you say or do will
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First of all, I'm not interested in anything illegal like Cocaine, crack, or meth. Sorry.nnSo I have the the worst, most crippling social anxiety imaginable. It's kind of a cocktail of disorders, not just shyness, but also adhd, depression, anxiety and general laziness and lack of motivation. I used to be mute until about middle school, I've been to counseling for it. Even though I'm not completely mute now, I'm still extremely introverted. I still I have no real friends besides family members, and am an almost complete shut-in. It's keeping me from being successful career wise, it's keeping me from believing in myself and I feel stuck in this low paying dead end job. It's keeping me from making friends and maintaining friendships. I just turned 33 and there's no sign of improvement. I've been seeing counselors since i was a child. I've been taking a Paxil generic, Peroxitine 40 mg, since I was about 16, and at first I thought it was helping a little bit, but now I've decided it was just a placebo effect at best. It's clearly not working for me. I've also been to parties, that my sister invited me to because I don't have any friends of my own, and have drank alcohol and smoked Marijuana. The alcohol only helps a little bit for a short period of time, but I'd have to continously be drinking and don't want to be an alcoholic. The Marijuana didn't seem to make me any more social, it did make me hungrier but that's the only difference i noticed. Maybe it was bad weed, i don't know, but it didn't work for me. I'm tired of being like this, I know I can be better than this. I don't want to be a recluse with no friends and no confidence.nnTL,DR; what are some Legal medicines for a person suffering from severe social anxiety to be more social and able to make friends and maintain friendships? I've tried Paxil and counseling for years but it doesn't seem to be enough.
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Sorry to hear your going through this...I wonder if it's possible that your body has become so used to the paxil, it is no longer providing much help? Switching to an alternative may be useful for you. nnI've had luck with, the SSRI, Zoloft. It is often prescribed to people with medium to severe SA, but it is also an anti depressant. Based on what you wrote, it sounds like it may be helpful for you, but im no doctor. I think it may be best you contact and speak to your doctor about this and suggest the idea to them. nnIt does have some pretty bad side effects at the start but they dissappear after a few weeks and then you'll start to notice a change. If I was never prescribed them, I don't think I'd be where I am today! I'm by no means cured, but I feel a lot happier in myself and am able to do things I once thought impossible :)nnI really hope things work out for you!
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going my whole life friendless, with almost no social experiences, and now doomed to be alone for the rest of my life, and not having talked to anyone in years
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OK. If you have no partner and no kids then you likely have plenty of time to socialize, meet new people, meet potential friends, and try out others' suggestions or advice.
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Me: Did you know that I am almost certain I have social anxiety nnFriend: hahahannMe: …nnMe: what's funny?nnFriend: Don't knownnMe: You do know that it makes nearly every day to day task a lot harder nnFriend: oknnI don't know what to think about it, I was hoping for some sort of acknowledgment or anything but this is what I get ( I thought I would post this here because I this sub is the only thing I can relate to when it comes to SA)nnEdit: I sent back saying that I was hoping to feel better by telling them about it and he responded saying ‘I thought it was a sarcastic joke', did I do something wrong to make it seem that waynnEdit 2: I forgot to mention that this was done by message so to me they seemed a lot more disrespectful than it would've be in person, it's also why I was so rude in the reply to what he said
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Most people aren't going to know what to say to that or mature enough to get into the nitty gritty. I tend to say 'ok' when I'm put on the spot and can't think of a way to move forward and it's most likely a similar situation with your friend. I don't think he tried to be an ahole to you and you've even said that he has apologised.
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I've been holding back feelings for an past lover that's been in and out of my life for years. But it's on both ends we always find a way to reach out and that's cause we can't let go. I know I can't express my feelings cause I have many times and it didn't make much of an differences what I do know is even if we're just friends I'm ok with it. If something comes more of it I'll be grateful of that. So many questions I wanna ask him but all I can do is wait patiently.. to even hear from him.. nnAny advice..
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Why do u say that if you don't me asking..
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So is it just me or does posting or commenting on social media give you anxiety? I feel like no matter what I post someone is going to judge me negatively so I just end up not participating at all which only adds to my lack of communication with the world. Ex I've been teaching myself a new skill but I'm afraid to share it because people might be thinking things like like I'm a noob or a poser or whatever. How can I just not care what people think is what I'm getting at.
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Tumtiddly blumpkins!!nnNah jk. But I do agree that even when I positively comment or say something that adds to the topic at hand, there's always some jerk that pulls some immature move and I no longer feel like participating. I try to interject with people on the
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I'm extremely terrible at understanding social queues, I don't understand why but I am bad at that and I'm considered introverted but in reality I'm just not good at expressing myself especially to people I'm not comfortable around. nnSo I'm jealous of social butterflies, I'm jealous of popular kids. I remember when I was younger I would even try to copy my older cousin in a kind of weird way. I would try to copy her interests, how she dressed, how she texted, the songs she listened to, even her hand writing. Because I wanted to be popular like her, it did not work though. I dropped it after a while but social situations are very difficult for me
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I'd rather be talkative and a mess than quiet and a mess though. When you're talkative and a mess you get more support and you'll have more outlets. Quiet and a mess you just ruminate and hate yourself. It ends up being much more likely to get worse as a result.
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I'm 19 and graduated high school last year and I've
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Yes, I won it in elementary school..........
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Basically, is this normal, or is this due to SA?? After I post anything on Instagram I immediately close the app and refuse to look at my phone and contemplate deleting the post because I'm so self conscious it won't be received well.
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I feel you
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So, I am not necessarily looking for support but I just want to know what this means... I hardly ever accept help. It's not that I don't want it cause I think I do but I just can't except it. I feel like I don't deserve it and that leads people to believe I'm attention seeking and narcissistic. I don't think I am... I just want to know the correct word to explain why I act that way/what way I am really acting. So I guess in this instance I would appreciate some advice
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How about when someone pays you a compliment?
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I don't always realize it all the time, but it really does take up a lot of mental energy. Potential thoughts running thru my head on any given day:nn-“Someone's coming up the stairs. Better make enough room for them. Oh shoot, I probably didn't leave enough room. Hope they don't think I'm a jerk.”nn-“my coworkers are in the office today. I should say hi today. “ (End up not doing it) “ Oh no, they're going to think I'm anti-social and unfriendly.”nn-“That last conversation I had…why did I say xxxxx? I actually don't think that. I didn't properly convey my opinions. I should have said yyyyyyy”nn-etcnnAnyone relate? It leaves me exhausted at the end of the day (even if my day was relatively easy).nnI've just been trying to chill out on this stuff and try to be less self-critical and over-analytical, whenever I catch myself doing it. It's still hard though.
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So exhausting. I wish I could shut off my brain for even a little bit. I'm always in my head.
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So at the end of the work day I was walking out of the room and my coworker said have a nice weekend! And I awkwardly said yeah... followed by a pause and then you too as I walked out the door.nnI have social anxiety so I get anxious about pretty much anything social. It took me by surprise cause that wasn't the last time I saw her for the day but I don't know why I didn't just say yeah you too right away like a normal person. Fuck man I'm really stressing about it now. Am I just completely blowing this up in my mind or is that awkward?
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you're blowing it up..give yourself a break you answered like anyone else would :)
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Anyone else hear this in their mind so loudly when they answer someone who asks their opinion on something?nnwhat if they don't approve, what if I sound stupid, what is they hate me because of my answer, should I have said something better, they're not gonna talk to you again, what if I sound lamennud83dude12
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I tend to just say that I don't have an opinion because I don't know enough about the subject.
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I experience social anxiety from posting online due to fear of scrutiny.nnI have this constant sense that everything I say sounds idiotic and stupid so usually I just lurk and don't say anything so I'm creating this post to challenge myself to hopefully overcome some of these feelings. nnMaybe it would be interesting if people in the comment section would purposely insult me so that I can develop a thicker skin and see what happens when the worse case scenario plays out. nnMaybe that would just cause trauma and discourage me from ever posting or commenting again. Who knows, the only way to know is to actually post this.
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That's a good idea to post in film subreddits!nnI think I often interpret neutral comments as being negative. Yeah, I debated posting something very unpopular (although not offensive or inappropriate) in the unpopular opinion subreddit to see how well I could handle the negativity.nnNegative comments really stick with me, both online and in real life.nnI anger myself daily thinking thoughts about negative things that people have said about or to me the past and I spiral into these depressive thought loops. I have to try to reframe that.
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Ok, you don't have to read this, i'm just venting. I'm 15 years old and you might say
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Ahh, my grandparents also did the same with my phone, it stressed me out since i always have trouble sleeping, so yess i understand! Thank you <3
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In his book 'Scattered Minds', Gabor Maté discusses attention deficit disorder. To me, it feels like a lot of it is about social anxiety. The book has been very insightful for me and the passage below especially resonated. What do you think of the idea that social anxiety originates in the relationship with the parents? nn
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Would you mind sending me that too.
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I wish I wouldn't have dropped out of college because of my anxiety
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I have unbearable anxiety and no qualifications and work in a small warehouse, better than any shop imo
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Hii, im fairly new to this sub, so i'm sorry if i flaired things wrong or if this seemed out of place. nnBut yes, im scared to start school again. I start my first day of Year 12 (11th grade), as a junior in high school, but I dont know how it will go. nnI'm super anxious about making friends. nnAll the people i was friends with left to go to different schools and now I'm the only one along with a few other people; who I'm shy around. It's not that they're scary, it's just that they intimidate me and are always having an opinion about something. I feel like I wont be as cool as them because I dont game or am not as smart or quick witted as them so I dont know how I can make friends with them. I know it sounds silly but i feel like if i talk to them they will judge me and hate me or like dislike me and perhaps maybe even exclude me. nnI'm not the most self confident and I've had this done to me in the past, but this time it feels so much more scarier. There are new students coming in too, but from what i can tell on our grade's group chat, they seem to have much more dominant personalities and I am scared i will be disliked by them if i try to talk to them or be friendly with them. nnThis sounds so silly but I'm really sad and scared and I dont know what to do to stop feeling this way. I don't want them to hate me. >< Any advice or help would be really really realllly appreciated, thank you very much in advance. I'm really sorry if I sound silly or childish.
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I know the situation you're in. Personally I just can't seem to interact with them because of the anxiety of course, but also because there are certain friend groups. It's almost like there's some kind of barrier. And that creates a lot of pressure, because if you make friends with one of them, chances are you're gonna have to be friends with all of them. nAnother reason for me is that I just don't have anything in common with them. I just don't feel any connection. nnI actually kind of stopped caring. It is my last year of high school and I accepted the fact that I don't have to make new friends. I don't even feel the need to make friends. If I make friends with someone, that's cool, but if I don't that's cool too. Everyone is going to a different university/city after the exams anyway so I'll probably never see them again. nThis is not to discourage you from making friends. I don't vibe with my classmates and I'm okay with that. Just try to find someone that has the same interests as you (spot them in merch of your fav band/series/anime/anything). That instant connection will make it easier. nI hope you'll find what you're looking for! And I'll hope that your year will be as pleasant as possible. Good luck! :)
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I'd love to hear all of your stories because it will make md feel less like no ond understands but also just because I'm curious I what techniques y'all have discovered to cover it up or deal with it.
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I vent in comments all the godamn time I know how relieving it can be don't shy away from making posts or comments they do really help. Also I love thta it's so long I love to know every little detail. We're not friends bit of feel like I understand you in some capacity and it's so intredting to hear how people deal with struggles. I've learned a lot from you things ud otherwise have to learn in years. Thank you so much for responding and hey if ya need to vent my comments are open there is r/vent and r/mentalhealth and this all work really well for me. Well except fir my dms I keep sending myself dms but I don't like myself so I don't respond. I dont think I get the hint haha.
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I've struggled with social anxiety since I was in middle school and because of that, I had a hard time doing much of anything but staying in my room. I also live out in the middle of nowhere and can't drive and have no one to drive me places so even finding a job was difficult. However; a chain store opened up just outside of town, so I easily walk there and am going to applying tomorrow. I would do it tonight, but I just... need some time to breathe before I jump into it. I'm a nervous wreck about it and kinda feel like I'm going to puke. I'm way past overdue for a first job since I've been out of school for a long time now, but hopefully, all goes well.
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Thank you! I appreciate it
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I've been reading through this sub and it seems most people have anxiety symptoms because of thoughts running through their head or concern of what others think of them or other
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Dizziness started in mid November, went to Canberra on the 10th of December and I had my first near faint experience followed by high heart beat and palpitation. nnDizziness and lightheaded was followed till the 28th of December when I nearly fainted again and had really high heart rate: went to hospital. They did blood work and ecg couldn't find a probable cause. Went to hospital again 3 days later and no findings were evident. Upon my 3rd visit to hospital X-ray was done of my chest and nothing was found.nnSymptoms nnLightheaded nDizzinessnHeart gets tired quickly especially after a episode nSometimes my arms and hands become a little numb.nMy head feels tension.nBrain fognA episode causes heat in my abdomen, back and my ears get hot.nFeels like a pulsating feeling through my body during a bad episode nSometimes left shoulder feels warmnMy eyes sometimes drop tears randomlynUnable to concentrate at timesnShortness of breath during episode nThere's always a tense feeling in my chest and around my heart area. Sometimes hits my lower abdomen and I feel nausea makes my stomach make noises. I have difficulty sleeping my head spins more when I close my eyes. I wake up between 1-3am with a weird feeling as if I'm scared or something. Vision sometimes becomes blurry. Fatigue and tiredness. Little sudden Noises scare me. Whenever I have a episode that peaks, my hands and feet get sweaty and I feel heat. My hands and feet sometimes get cold. The feeling in my mid left chest area I can't explain but it's as if my muscles are vibrating. When I stand up it's seems my head and chest symptoms get worse for about a minute and then settle down. Same thing happens when I lay down. It gets worse for a minute till it goes back to how it was. Sometimes I can feel it hitting my front part of my head and my sinus feels tense as well. As well as my ears feel the pressure. Lying down seems to reduce some tension in my head. I feel bad 80% of the day really bad 15% of the day and alright 5% of the day.nn23/01/2022nnArms are hot, face is hot, ears are feeling hot, eyes are tearing, tension in head. Heat in abdomen and back. Hands are cold, feet are cold. 2 hours to stabilisennHealth report for DrnnnI believe my anxiety is chronic, it's Been with me since a young age I just didn't realise until it became severe. I do worry about everyday situation too much when I think about it now and believe things that aren't even real. I got sick around November, one day I just woke up and I was dizzy and brain foggy. It was persistent and didn't go away, over the next month it got worse until I got to a point I couldn't breath and got hospitalised. All tests came back negative and they sent me home. This was a on going cycle 6 times in and out of hospital, nothing was helping. So I went to my gp and she said it's most likely anxiety. After this point I think I broke the anxiety inducing cycle. Even though my worries and trauma are past the physical symptoms are still here or at least in my subconscious. My trauma last year was my business got burnt down by our competition and my now wife which was a fiancé back at the same time the store burnt in which I had trust issues with. My parents had told me she's probably using me to gain citizenship etc, so I was always worried about this and thought she might not love me. So I believe these 2 events were too great for me.nnLet's go back to my childhood, my earliest memory is probably when I was around 10. If I would focus on my breathing it felt like I couldn't breath anymore. I also had these unexplained spinning and dizziness at a young age during sleep time. Doctors couldn't find anything. I was always a scared kid thinking about the worse case scenario that might kill me but in reality it was overthinking. In highschool a few times I nearly fainted out of the blue. Sometimes during sports I'll hit a point where out of no where my heart would start racing and my breathing would become laboured. Sometimes over excitement caused this as well.nnNow medications nnLexapro 20mg 6 weeks, reduce symptoms by about 40%. Chronic dizziness subsided by 80% that woozy feeling. nnWe also tried zoloft 50mg for 3 weeks than 100mg for 3 days. I think zoloft worked better but I had a massive attack on it on day 3 of 100mg. While I was driving I started to lose my mind and my whole body went on fire as if someone poured petrol on me and lit me and I was itchy for a week or 2 after. So Dr esin tapered me off and put me back on lexapro and also prescribed me pristiq and said book a appointment with your phyc doctor asap. I'm not taking the pristiq yet. She told me either we can continue trying different medicine or you can prescribe a medicine on top of the ssri, also said continue on lexapro and ask Dr raiz if I should try a snri or buspar. I was also prescribed cbd oil. I take that 2 times a day, I also have thc incase I have a attack which would calm me down apparently and she also prescribed me valium incase. So far in the 6 months since my illness began I've had 1 full blown attack. If anxiety had a scale and the attack is 10/10, my persistent anxiety is always 24/7 between 4-5/10, so it's pretty much chronic at this point. I took Valium for 2 days for the tapering off period but it doesn't seem to do anything? I assuming the affect is felt greater when you're having a attack or high anxiety periods. Haven't had any psychotic episodes since I had the 2 last time I told you which is good. I'm 50% back to work. Trying to keep my mind clear and I am going to gym 3 times a week with my wife. But I believe I need more support and more reassurances that it is anxiety that is affecting me. nnnSymptoms nnDizziness nBurning tonguenHeadachenNausea nMetallic taste in mouthnHot flushes nFatigue nNumbness in handsnPins and needlesnBrain fognStartled easilynBlood pressure problems nHeart feeling heavynFast heart beat nFeel like I'm dyingnLosing my mindnLosing controlnVery negative thoughts nIntrusive thoughts nHyper reactive nBlurry vision nCold palms and feetnSweaty palms and feetnHot flushes nFeeling sick / flu likenPsychotic episode nWeak limbsnDigestion problems nNumbnessnNightmares nAnd many more it's wide spread though now I think I might be getting better or the medicine is helping. I couldn't even go outside when I first came to you, I would feel like fainting all the time. Now it's a rare occurrence but the other symptoms are persistent and always there. For example if I go to a shopping centre my brain becomes foggy again. I don't have to think or feel anything it just happens in my subconscious.nnI think I tolerate the medications pretty well and they all have some degree of effect, but it's not enough for me. For example my sleep has drastically improved. For the last 2 years I wouldn't be able to sleep more then 4 hours now I have trouble waking up in the morning which is a good thing. I sleep a solid 6-8 hours which is a good improvement. I also tried the cannabis thc once and it made me feel relieved for the first time in 6 months I felt my muscles all loosen up. I felt the anxiety trying to hit me within though like as if thc put it in a cage and it was trying to get out. So obviously it doesn't fix the problem but masks it.nn nmedications I've triednnLexapro 40mgnSeroquel 12.5mgnPregablin 25mg
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Me (20M) and my girlfriend (F19) have been in a relationship for a year (we just celebrated our 1st year of being together)nnOur sexual life has been amazing. Both of us have high libidos, we have sex often. And the quality is amazing too. Both of us know how to surprise the other one, even after a year.nnHowever, this week my girlfriend has been under some stress. She found a job which obviously comes with some, and she has problems with her mom. Her mom basically works all the time. She has 4 jobs, some are night jobs. Sometimes her schedule is so bad that she has a nightshift than a daytime job, so she skips a day of sleep. The pay is terrible too, they have financial problems.nnMy girlfriend tends to get moodswings, I'm used to that. I just cuddle with her, try to make her comfortable. Crying after sex or having to stop because she started crying has happened before. But those usually happened because she had a bad day or something. And these were rare occurances. Crying from sex happened like 5 times in 1 year.nnBut this time I feel like it's different. I went over to her, saw that she was stressed so I didn't plan on initiating sex. She told me that she thinks something's wrong with her. She said that she hasn't felt any emotions in the past few days, and that she doesn't like being touched now. I suggested going to a therapist, my friend knows a good one, but she turned me down and was offended by the idea.nnSo I tought, ok let's try to lift her mood. We played her favourite card game, she beat me every time and she felt much better suddenly. She initiated cuddling and kissing. She was kissing me passionatley so I initiated sex. She was down to doing it, she took off my shirt and started grinding on my lap. She was ok with me taking off her shirt. (I asked if I could take it off and she took it off herself)nnSo what I usually do to get things hot is I lick her nipples. She loves it when I play with those. She stopped me after a minute of nippleplay, she said they are sensitive now, let's not do that now. Ok, I tought, let's move on. I fingered her a bit and I went down on her. I only managed to kiss her vagina 2 times before she stopped me. I asked if everything was ok. She hugged me and started crying.nnFastforward to today morning. Barely slept any. She could see that I was not feeling well, told her I barely slept. She knew that I was worried. She apologised for yesterday, I said that it's ok, it's not her fault. We were watching TV and we started cuddling. She pushed her boobs in my face (she even pulled her shirt down so she can have a cleavage). I asked if I could kiss them, and she said she wanted me to. I lifted her shirt but she told me not to lick her nipples. This made me feel anxious already. She put her hand in my pants, I asked wether I can do the same to her. She refused but she told me that she wants to please me.nnI felt really bad. Not because she didn't want to have sex. It felt like she wants to do oral on me out of pity. I know this is selfish, but I want to feel desired. If she has sex with me I want to feel like she wants me, I don't want to feel like she's just a toy that I get to play with. I refused her advances. She started crying again.nnWe exchanged a few messages. She told me that she doesn't know what's happening to her. I said that maybe she needs some rest, she's had a stressful few days. But if it doesn't get better I want to find a solution (like going to theraphy). I said that I don't have a problem for a while and that I'm willing to try anything that can help her.nnI'm quite scared. She usually has a bad day but the next day she is fine but now she said she's been feeling like this for days. What can I/we do?
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Fetishism?
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A highly stressful event seems to tip me over the edge , currently going through a bad episode right now , paralysed with negative anxious thoughts , and literally having mini breakdowns every few hours , feel like I can't function at all, it is so hard to feel all of these emotions they feel so strong , I feel physically exhausted and tense. Scared to take meds but I think I have no choice or suffer. Usually I can manage it but if I have to much stress at once I go in to a episode which can last 6-12 weeks
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Yes. Dialectical behavioral therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy teach extreme awareness. People with these disorders have an improperly functioning amygdala, an area of the brain for regulating emotional and anxiety responses as well as regulating how potent these responses are. I have borderline personality and most days are a breeze for me. To be fair, under high stress, I can sometimes end up where you are too. The ability to pull yourself out of it by being aware of it, is a life saver. Also, if you need, you can vent in DM or ask advice if needed. I'm sorry for what you're going through and hope things get better for you. And remember, we are all stronger than we feel when we are sad.
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I know this has probably been asked a thousand times, but where do you guys look when around loads of people just walking? I just feel so awkward and dumb so I constantly look at the floor, which probably makes me seem both rude and depressed (one of which would be correct). Any advice? :(
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I always look at my phone or I pretend to be searching for something in my purse.
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