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I have sat down with my therapist a total of four times. I explained to him, or briefed upon, my struggle with loneliness and social anxiety. It was a very painful thing to open up about. But he's said something to me a multitude of times, and it's struck a chord in me.nn“You see, it baffles me that people like you have social anxiety, or feel as if you're unqualified to deal with social interaction. As you are an extremely pleasant person and a joy to talk to.”nnThose words hurt. Not because they were bad, no, it was quite the opposite. They felt painfully true, even though I had convinced myself that they were not.nnSee, I had been a victim of social Darwinism. I had also been a victim to the emotional abuse my parents had forced upon me. As a naturally emotionally sensitive person, who is very intelligent, it has thrown me for a loop. I feel like my mind has been too traumatized and routinely beat down that it is unable to think for itself, or give me a sense of person. nnI have a deep sense of self-loathing that I think it is inhibiting my opportunities of making friends. It's hard to come out of my shell. I'm so tired of trying to figure out people intentions and I am tired of the weird looks and whispers people throw my way for simply existing.
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Starting to feel very angry. I will ask him about this
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I'm the middle child in my family, all guys. Anyway out of the three of us I feel like I was the most sensitive growing up. I remember one time I spilled milk and started crying, because I thought my dad was going to yell at me. Anyway he had a bit of an anger problem and he yelled a lot. Every year he seemed to make a new years resolution not to get so angry, but he always inevitably blew up. nnTo this day I'm not comfortable around him. I mean I love him, but I feel like I developed strong feelings of anxiety during childhood that carried over into adulthood. I feel like I'm always constantly trying to repair a broken relationship almost. Just wondering what everyone else's father was like growing up.nn
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The socially anxious aspect of my personality comes from a teenage period of my life when I tried to please my extrovert mum by not acting like my (naturally introverted) self. It took its toll in my final years of high school so I requested to attend a new high school. My plan was to
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No matter what I do, in front of others I cannot express my ideas and emotions.nnToday in lecture we were told we had to present a pitch we had been working on, but no one in our group knew we had to present today. Panic set in, but we divided rolls and I took a paragraph to present. I had never read it before, and so I started to practice out loud.nnAs I read the lines over and over, I found each time that I had better control over my volume and inflection. I practiced to the point of sounding more professional than I ever thought I could. When we took our turn to present, I thought I had done the best job of any presentation I had faced. However, in getting feedback I was told I u201clacked enthusiasmu201d. nnWhen I though I finally conquered my anxiety for that hour, I still came off as emotionless and uninteresting. How am I supposed to express myself like this? It seems like my options are:nnAnxiety->inability to think clearly -> speak softly, quickly and monotonously -> not express myselfnnComposure -> speak methodically and as I planned -> sound unenthusiastic -> not express myselfnnWhen I am on my own, I laugh, smile, cry, become angry and everything else a normal person would do. When I am in front of others, either my anxiety comes to the fore or nothing at all. This is so disheartening.
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I don't know if this helps but I know my teacher took points off for this reason because he didnt feel any presentation was A+ 100% worthy even though the presentations were amazing. He was just a harsh just, like Simon Cowell lol. Maybe it's a that type situation?
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I used to go every Friday. I did that for like a month, then we stopped, and I want to go, and I know what I want to talk about. But i'm so scared. And I hate going because its so terrifying. And I dont know what to do. nnThe therapist is nice, but I am just so scared, and people are scary. And AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!nnHow to go without, feeling lightheaded, shaking, sweating, stuttering, and not dying. Pls and thank.
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If your anxiety attacks are severe enough to prevent you from going to a therapist, maybe you should consider some medication. It could help you to regain enough stability to really engage with the psychotherapy and to talk freely. Then maybe when the psychotherapy has advanced enough, you won't need the medication anymore.
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Hi everyone, Im a male, 21, student at university in Switzerland, lived since my birth in Switzerland. i will try precisely to describe what Im feeling recently because Im not really sure if it is social anxiety.nn​nnWhen Im outside, I have always tears coming to my eyes, but Im not crying. At the same time, I feel Im in a hurry, to do what Im doing fastly to go back home quickly. I rarely cried in my life tbh. I have tears because I find myself unable to social with anyone (even if I knew this person already). I fear I can say smth wrong or act weirdly (which happened many times in the past). Then, there is what I imagine what people feel or think about me. I always found myself ugly as possible (had 2 relationships in the past, I was the problem for sure, those girls never loved me for what I know...), unable to be understood in what Im saying when talking (stuttering sometimes or because I speak very fast, so people dont understand what Im saying). People qualify me as someone kind, but Im not really like this. I just dont judge people on what they say or do to me (when at work for example), because I dont want to create conflicts or being hated. To add, my dad and gradma suffer from anxiety.nn​nnTo be clear, the tears issue come down recently. The other things were here since I can remember.nn​nnWhat do you guys all think ? Should I see someone like a specialist ? Friends tend to advice me just to focus on myself and stop seeking empathy.
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I think so, the teary eye feeling IS something i didn't even associate anxiety with until now it's definitely smth i get alot when out in public especially when groups of people near me wow it for sure hurts my soul!
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I dont know what I'm feeling rn, I feel so empty and dead inside...
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What video games? Cause I use them to cope as well. And I find playing with someone helps me personally... idk about you. I would try that fs
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​nnI have been reading some Reddit posts on small talk and working the room. Of course, these skills require practice. I am trying to figure out if there is a way to practice these skills in during the lockdown. Has anyone figured this out?
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I have a really good practice for you! Do you know Twitch? Go to small streams (0 - 5views) and start a conversation with them. nnMuch Harder: Play with them together and talk with them in Discord.
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A year and a half ago, a guy tried to take advantage of me. I was drunk in a bar, and he got me a water. Thirty minutes later, I was unable to walk or move. When getting escorted back to my room, he tried to stay with me, but another guy prevented him from doing so. I'm pretty sure he roofied me. I've always known what his intentions were, but I'm not turned off by what he did. nnIf anything, I have feelings for him. No other guy has liked me that way before. Maybe there have been other guys who liked me, but none have ever been so overt about their interest in me. He thinks I'm beautiful, which is more than I can say for other guys. We're still social media friends, and my hope is that we can get married and live happily ever after together. nnAnother thing that didn't help was that at the same time, a guy that I really liked had a girlfriend. He kept the fact that he had a girlfriend from me, and I was so disappointed. My original crush didn't mean to do so; he's not a bad guy, but I got hurt in the process. So I redirected my feelings for my crush onto this other guy. I feel like my original crush didn't fight hard enough for me. Isn't that what love's all about? Fighting for someone, even when it's difficult? nnGiven how confident he was with me, he likely has done what he did to me before. It disgusts me if he has done it to other girls, but he did tell people that I was the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, so hopefully he only does bad stuff to me. I admit, I'm a virgin, never had a boyfriend before either. I want to have sex so bad. I know he'll likely hurt me really bad, but he said that I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. He told mutual friends this. He can learn to love me. I'm hoping that if I'm as beautiful as he says, then he'll remember that and be lucky that I chose him. nnI want to get married to him and be financially dependent on him. I want to be pregnant with his children, and have lots of babies with him. Knowing what I know about him, he has some abusive tendencies, but not to worry. I won't let him hurt our babies. I'll redirect his anger and frustrations on me. No one has ever loved me before, and he's the best I can do. I don't want anyone else, just him. I know it's likely that he may end up killing me. But I've been really depressed for years, and my one goal in life is to have children, so as long as my early death happens after I have children, I'll be okay with that. nnI know it's wrong. I know I should be disgusted by what he did. If a friend told me this happened to her, I'd tell her to run for the hills. But I don't know. I'm 21 years old, and no guy has ever expressed any interest in me before. I want to get married and have babies, and if it means getting married to a monster, so be it. I can learn to love him, and he can learn to love me.
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He wasn't interested in you for YOU. He wanted to rape you, to take away your control.nnnIt was never about you, he would have raped any woman if he had the chance to roofie her. That's how rapists work. It's not about the victim or how much they like them... it's about control and taking the choice away. From any woman. nnnDon't go to that guy. That's not love or anything remotely close. You will end up abused and tossed away like a dirty rag when he is done playing with you and finds a new victim..
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I have some programming work I should be doing but I cannot bring myself to work on it more than 15 minutes. I just don't have the motivation to stick it out, every little challenge breaks me and I walk away from doing it. I've been feeling very depressed lately so it could be a major factor here.nnThis is some serious stuff as this work will bring in money that I desperately need and the deadline is close. Its so weird that I just don't care anymore and can't discipline myself to do it. I am even considering saying sorry I can't do the work for you but this would not reflect well on me at all. Do you guys get to this point? nnIs there anything you do to make yourself get it done?
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All the time.nnIf someone asks me a favour, or ask me to do something, then I jump right into it (because I like to please people), except if it entails having to deal with other people I don't know.nnI procrastinate with everything else: study, finding a job, getting a driving license, writing a book I started almost 20 years ago, writing another one which I have an idea for (but in these two cases is more like I don't think I'm good enough to write, so why bother? -spoiler, that's probably not true-), getting swimming lessons, etc...
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> u got ur go to 10 phrases or so, u ask stupid and obvious qs and u never talk abt urselfnn> like nothing evernn> nothing brings u joy, ur hobbies r so typical and expected and blandnn> someone programmed u and said ah, yes, he gotta seem like a human, so let him talk abt american football and country. after all, he IS american hahann> look at urself and tell me ur not boringly average when it comes to things u likennLike shit, I knew all this but it didn't really need to be said out loud to me lmao. There's more too this isn't even all of it
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This is not anyone's friend.nMy friend, this is an asshole. nnOk OP I understand your terrible feeling and that you feel insecure. But I'll tell you this, the proper way to respond is to fire back. This is my suggestion what you should do next time:nn1. Don't believe what he says because it is not truenn2. He has no right to speak like this, he is an assholen well obv he has the right, but that means you have the right to punish him for this. nn3. Because of 2 you have a right to attack him on this, call him out on thisnnI know this feels impossible and way easier said then done but for someone without SA it is very easy to call these people out on it. Compare it to a spider, a normal person will feel disgusted but will have the capability to catch it and throw it out of the house. For people with arachnophobia they will completely lose their shit even though there is no actual danger. What he said is bad. nnI hope this helps, keep it up.
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DAE just ignore absolutely everything for no apparent reason?nnPhone calls? Ghosted.nKnocks at the door? Ghosted.nMultiple texts from multiple people? Ghosted.nComments? Ghosted.nEmails? Ghosted.nSomeone talking to me and I don't wanna reply? Ghosted IRL.nnTbh It's super detrimental to my life as I can't maintain a schedule with education or work, and I've pushed away all of my friends who've contacted me trying to talk or organise hanging out.nnAlso is there a deeper reason as to why I'm doing this or am I just a bad friend?nnEdit: adding that I am considering just not having social media at this pointnnEdit edit: I do realise how meta it is that I haven't responded to anyone but thank you for sharing your thoughts, I read them all! we'll get through this dudes :D
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Dawg i have the exact same problem, it's probably my single greatest flaw/obstacle. I just get super avoidant for absolutely no reason, and then the avoidance compounds as time goes on. I avoid practically everything that doesn't give me immediate gratification. It's not even just simple
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So , I was a very social person ( was obsessed with instagram, Snapchat and was very active on them ) , extremely extroverted and had a lot of friends . That was back in college . because I was studying abroad ,my friends and I naturally shifted back to our hometowns and would rarely have a chance to meet (if any) . So I started job searching and it didn't really go well. I decided to take a step back from social media and focus on me . nThat was four years ago and I haven't really been on social media at all , briefly during quarantine and that's it. I had to chance to go back to the city I studies and i know I have friends there that I haven't spoken to or kept in touch . I feel like I don't really know how to talk to them , I have developed anxiety over the years and I didn't know how bad it got until recently. I hate being in social settings, don't really like talking to anyone . I get defensive and have to gather courage for any type of conversation. The main issue is I also haven't been keeping tabs with my childhood best friend and she keeps trying to bring me back in the loop , I keep bailing cuz It feels like work to me . AND I like being alone , I feel bad having to come up with excuses to not meet her so I just don't reply to her or keep up with conversations. nI know people are going to ask me to reach out and if I could , I would . But I just don't feel comfortable doing that . I also have extremely conservative parents, who wouldn't just let me go and meet anyone randomly ,so we usually have to plan everything out .so I bail on everything right from the beginning. Is this normal ? I'm so comfortable being my myself that I don't even care about friends or such social appearances.
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i feel like ur in the weird point of life like graduating (figure of speech) from childhood/education and finally living as an adult. and realize that all your friendships etc probably were based around school right? and now that youre not in classes with those people everyday, you have to make an effort (to replace the effortless classroom environment) to maintain those relationships. nnlots of people have issues with this now since the pandemic. tell your friends that you are working on dealing with your anxiety and you want them to keep including you. imagine how much worse you'd feel if they stopped trying. your friends care for you. ur allowed to be an introvert too, if you truly enjoy being alone. theres a balance to be found there. nnlastly, my parents are a major source of anxiety for me for the same reasons. tell them they are stressing you out, causing anxiety and to back off! good luck!
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I'm on 10 mg Lexapro and it feels as if I'm drinking chamomile tea, no benefits. I know different medications work differently.
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I think TBH its a very personal thing. I tried a lot of meds before I took Effexor, which really worked but had a kind of mania as a side effect, which I didn't like and stopped it. Depending on how long you have been on it, you can feel anxious on SSRI's for the first few weeks too, so if you're new to it bear that in mind. If you've been on it a while, you could ask your doc for a dosage review or look at other meds?
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I'm getting my masters and I have a relatively small class of people and I was so excited to meet people and finally make connections with like minded individuals…. it's the end of the semester and they're all friends with each other and I'm just on the outside. I've been nothing but nice to everyone but my social anxiety makes it hard for me to really be myself so I feel like I just come across as uninteresting and boring. I'm so sad. They all post pictures and go places and I'm just not invited. Why is itnso easy for everyone else I feel like this is my last chance to make “lifelong friends” since I didn't in undergrad. Now i'm just venting but yeah… I'm so sad. It's like I'm protecting myself but I end up hurt anyway.
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in high school I was in theatre so I always made friends when I was cast in shows, don't really have that avenue now
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Im not close at all with my own family. I barely say u201cI love youu201d to any of my siblings or even parents. I don't know if it's a normal thing or not.
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I have to listen to
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My anxiety was through the roof and literally felt like i was not going to survive, but it ended up being amazing! Had so much fun and didnt have any worries in the moment. He was so understanding and supportive Feeling very proud of doing it!
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ah well, many people are close minded. It doesnt have to be the man to do that, gender norms suck
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So my best friend is an extreme extrovert who I go with to almost all social events. She is an extremely talkative and charismatic person. Whenever we meet other friends/start talking to anyone, it always ends up with mainly her talking to them and me awkwardly standing on the side. Because she is usually the main talker in the group conversations, I usually end up getting blanked. Like whenever I say something, before anyone has time to respond she'll ignore me, jump in and loudly say something else, and everyone will immediately latch onto that instead. And whenever she talks, it will be directly to the other person, excluding me entirely. It feels like she values the attention of random strangers over me, which is really hurtful. nnThe thing is, this has happened to me a lot throughout my life, so I know it's my fault and not hers. But I don't know what to do about it, or how to change. It's honestly making me really start to resent her, because after every time we go out, I just end up feeling drained, unwanted and stupid. I just wish I was a funnier and more interesting person to talk to, then maybe this wouldn't be happening to me.nnThank you for reading this long rant
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Oh man. Too real. Extraverted siblings and I have a twin so being compared to her is a given. Nonetheless, she is truly my best friend and no one else understands me she does. I told her in college that I was often being compared to her and treated like a plant when I'm with her from childhood to adulthood and it likely affected my social anxiety. She would be praised for her fashion, her humor and friendliness and I was the exact opposite and struggled to keep up with her.nnShe had a hard time understanding it and got upset by interpreting like she's the devil who ruined my life at first, but I didn't want her to take it like that. I just wanted to be honestly and let her know how I had an inferiority complex. She eventually admitted she was to blame and should've been more inclusive but I disagreed because it's not her fault. I think now she's more conscious and seeing the difference with how people treat us and it makes me feel like she understands me more.
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So I stepped out of my comfort zone and started a conversation with someone. Anxiety didn't decrease as time went on, I think it even got worse. Any possible explanation for why it didn't work?
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Alright, I was just told that while doing exposure therapy the anxiety is meant to dissipate somewhat towards the end. If anything, for me it got worse.
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Or haven't we found it yet? I mean surely there's something we can do or think to overcome it. I think usually for phobias controlled exposure is recommended but social anxiety is usually not a
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But people so often ARE bullies and the situation is them making a blatant rude comment on your appearance or manner. Maybe you're lucky you can get away without this but it doesn't mean people are any less evil. Other than that they tend to have pretty shitty attitudes to life, hence the way the world is.
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So as the title says,im(almost 16f) depressed and suicidal as well. I've been dealing with it ever since I was 6. My mom(40f)believes in god and she also believes she's the an amazing mother (she is but she's kinda egotistical as well). I'm going into highschool and I know I wouldn't be able to deal with it much longer. My relationship with my mom is rocky,at least from my view. We have arguments on pretty dumb thing and I'm a very sensitive and emotional person,so any bad words hurts me very deeply. I've been spending less time with her and staying in my room a lot and I've been feeling a bit better,but I still feel like shit. I want to tell her about it and ask for therapy. I don't know if hospitals are open for Therapy now or not and honestly I don't know if they have good therapists. But my cousin told me her friend goes there and it worked for her. How do I tell my mom I'm depressed,suicidal, without her feeling attacked or thinking I'm overreacting? I don't want her to think it's just because I'm not spiritual enough or that I'm just making things up. She the type of person who says u201cyou didn't go through what I've been throughu201d or u201cback in my day we had it worse and I'm fine!u201d I don't really care if I die young but I haven't really done anything good with my life yet and I want to do fun things before I die. I can't get a job or afford therapy so I need my parents to help. Any advice is appreciated :)
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I recently went through a similar event and it is turning out way better than expected. I knew my mother cared but had a hard time expressing it. When something bothered her she would react with anger and would often talk down about neighbors that were going through the same thing as me without knowing I was also struggling. This discouraged me from ever confronting her about it and I struggled for years never talking about my suicidal tendencies to anyone. About two weeks ago she came across some messages I had with a suicide hotline and confronted me about it and has been doing her best to be there for me. Things aren't perfect I can tell she's holding her tongue on many things and she still is distant but I still felt like a great weight was lifted off me not having to hide and pretend anymore. While it may be scary still talk to someone about it. I recommend talking to a close friend or family member who would have some incited on your specific relationship with your mother to help you think of the best way to confront her about it. Just know no matter how she reacts your life is worth living and people you'd never even think of would miss you.
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My lichess is Violin1117. If you don't have an acc, I can just sent you a link. I'm not incredible, but I'm ok I guess. We can chat through the in game messaging system if you want :)
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Hey, let's play!
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So CBT therapy seems fairly expensive; even a lot of group options range from $50-$100 per session. I was wondering if anyone has tips on how to find cheaper and more affordable therapy, whether it's personal or group. I'd just love to hear how others managed to get help without going broke.
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Some therapists use a sliding scale i.e. they charge you less when they know you're poor. They don't advertise it, you just find out. I don't get the impression it's common, it depends on the therapist. You can't really count on it happening, it's random.nnIf you live in a western country that isn't the US, there's also probably some help in the public sector. In Canada I was on a waiting list for like 1 1/2 years and eventually got assigned to a government psychologist. Although from my personal experience I feel like the public sector is full of reject psychologists that nobody would actually want to go see if they had to pay for it directly. The number of sessions is finite though, they don't tell you the number but basically they figure you need X sessions and after that you're on your own.nnAnother option are universities who offer counselling services provided by doctorate students in psychology undergoing their clinical internship. They're basically young people who've never done this before... so I don't know how good they could possibly be, but maybe if you find one with a good personality it could be OK.nnAnother option would be to go see a therapist like once a month, to cut costs. It's much better than nothing.
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I may come off as completely ignorant, and this post may come off as seeking reassurance. But that's what I want. Please reassure me but honestly. I've been thinking a lot. About life. About death. I feel as if every day I am bombarded with terrible news. I was lucky enough to have a good childhood and be born into a good situation. However, I am afraid for our generation and the next generations to come. I am afraid of the rising temperatures. I am afraid of the wars being fought overseas. I am afraid of the increase of violence, and of gun violence. I am afraid I won't make it another 20 years. I'm afraid humanity won't.
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I'm afraid, too. As the world is becoming more polarized, the threat of war is increasing. I have many fears about war and climate change, especially with the gun ruling a day ago (assuming you're in the U.S.). I don't want to scare you by telling you my theories, but I know exactly how you feel. It doesn't help when people tell you to stop having those fears, either - if anything, they escalate.nnYou might benefit from a dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) program. They help you learn how to manage anxiety, and give you medication to help, too. Since you're 15, you'd need your parents' consent for treatment. One of the skills they're teaching us is called radical acceptance. The idea is that there are things we can control and things we can't control. We have to learn how to take control where we can, and accept what we can't control. I have great difficulty with that too, but it's reassuring to hear that. Ever hear the serenity prayer
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I've been told by pretty much everyone in my family that my parents only had a kid to have a slave and that's what everyone calls me. I know it may be bad to even use that word but, I'm a bigger dude and I can do good work, but I'm tired of everyone only seeing me for what I can do. No one loves me I'm just a means to an end. nnI've been a tool my whole life and I feel like that's the only way I'll ever find a girl, is if I can do everything and all the work she needs and that no one will love me like I would them. I'm so fed up with the world just constantly kicking me while I'm already down. nnI don't what to do anymore, I'm honestly tired of living cause I know tomorrow is going to be the same. Even if I try and fix my life, something will come and start the bs again.
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It is, you feel like a dog on a leash and stuck in the cage. You get the minimal of anything just to live..I get it..
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The past year is the first time I've felt confident enough in myself to try my hand at the dating scene. After endlessly swiping right, I matched with a girl on bumble and we seemed to really be hitting it off. After a couple days of messaging she just stopped replying, I sent a message in case she didn't see a notification and she ignored that too. That was 3 days ago, and all I can think about is what I said that would've made her stop wanting to talk to me. My therapist doesn't understand how difficult it is meeting people on the apps when you don't want a hookup, and at this point I feel like I'm gonna be alone for a long time if this is what happens on the off chance I feel good enough about myself to try and form a connection.
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Meeting people is hard. Kudos to you for even putting yourself out there. Think of it as dodging a bullet. Who you are supposed to be with you're gonna be with. You might have to experience a few failures to make you appreciate the one who's worth it. Keep your head up
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Hiding in bathroom. Hopefully no janitor comes here again lol. So far everythings been calm here, no anxiety or anything I feel at peace. And I won't be having to feel like a waste of space anymore at gym because these seniors who made fun of me for being frozen and the volleyball hitting me.nnupdate: i think i made a new friend in the bathroom but i never got to ask her namennupdate 2: ok this the 3rd day but this time im not skipping cause i get paranoid about getting caught so yeah here i am in PE now I still hate it. Maybe I'll skip 1-3x a week
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Yeah thats bad but have you ever been told by your pe teacher that you ranked yourself too high on the self evaluation and she proceeds to show you a video of you playing volleyball versus a video of good people playing volleyball and asks if you see the difference?
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I've been thinking about therapy for quite some time. I'm 20 and still covered under my parents health insurance but I don't want them finding out I have social anxiety, its just something I'd rather not bring up. nnDoes anyone know a way to go about getting treatment without going broke and without letting the parents find out?
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I'm in the same boat as you. If anyone's got any advice it'd be much appreciated.nnBtw, OP are you in college? They might have some free services there.
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Being brash isn't the most admirable quality but we're all guilty of it. But, I'll notice in a (friend) group, person A can say something edgy/brash, even get positive feedback, but if person B says the same thing the group will be like 'woah chill you're taking it too far'. What's with these double standards? How come person A can be critical, kinda preachy, sanctimonious with almost no objection while when it comes to person B the group becomes hypercritical of that behavior? My hypothesis is that those whom they rarely criticize usually have higher social standing/resources/ cultural capital that the group depends on whereas those who the group depends less are better targets for criticism. Thoughts?nnEdit: clarity
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I shouldn't have used those terms. I'm really just tryna refer to brash traits that I dont deny we have but am just wondering why some within a friend group get away with expressing them more than others.
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I am 39 years old and have never been passionate about anything. My life is slipping away. My career and family life are all terrible. Where do people find that thing inside them that gives them something to work towards, something to make them feel alive? I didn't ask to be born and I have never embraced my life. I don't know how.
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For the last 6 years I have been working on a Virtual Reality (VR) project in my free time. I taught myself the software from scratch and learned how to write code on my own. Before that I studied composition for film & theater and earned a Master's degree in composition. I made a decent amount of money, but after all these years studying and working with directors it made me miserable.nnI earn no money with this VR project. It likely has no future, because it is a massive project and I want to do it on my own, without anyone else messing it up. But it makes me happy. It really pulls me in. It's mine. My world, my purpose, my desire, my project. Nobody else's. And it will take a long time until I let others mess around with it. I would say, that I am passionate about this project.nnThere were and still are a thousand reasons to give up on this project. It will likely take another 6 years to complete, and just staying up to date on all the software is insane. I have to invest at least 20 hours a week in order to make consistent progress (adding up to a work schedule of 48 hours a week with my other job). But it pulls me in, over and over again. In the beginning I was so frustrated .... my character kept falling through the floor, because I didn't know about collision ....nnI think passion is a mix of what you really love, and what you choose to sacrifice for. If there is something that you really love doing, but are unwilling to put in the hours (or make financial and personal sacrifices) it won't progress. And often we find ourselves in a career, where we sacrifice large amount of time and energy, but enjoy none of it.nnIf I were you, I would start small. I would ask myself, what are the things I really, really, really love. And then ask myself: For which of these things would I be willing to sacrifice my job, family time, personal free time, money, fame, reputation a.s.o. The more you find yourself willing to sacrifice, the more passion is buried underneath. Passion and sacrifice go hand in hand. Passion burns and your time, your friends, your money, your career are all fuel for it. Sometimes in lucky circumstances it can support all of these things, but often you will have to put one before the other.nnJust keep searching ... you will find it, if you listen to yourself and don't let others ruin it for you. Their opinion is irrelevant. It's what you want, that matters.
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I've been feeling pretty anxious and generally not great for a long time now and after talking with my dad about it, I'm for the first time considering anti-depressants. I'm just wondering if people here have experience with them and can tell me about their experiences. What's the difference between taking them and not taking them? Do they help?
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Thanks :) Like I said, I have already had some councelling and meditation classes for my anxiety, but sometimes, it's just too hard, so maybe something to mute all stimuly a little might help
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This is prob what “mad” feels like to normies
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Yes that is Wellbutrin. It has taken me out of an extremely dark depression. My doctor said it also helps those with adhd which I also have.
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I cried for two hours today. I just want to give up. My medication is not working. I am so scared at work. I'm just so unhappy and alone. Please God I don't want to exist anymore. I am done. nI am at the lowest point. I cannot tell anyone at home. My friends think that this is not a serious condition. I am so alone.
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I'm so sincerely sorry for what you are going through. Being depressed/anxious is very hard. I may not know exactly what you are going through, but I have been in a similar circumstance. I haven't taken medication before, but as a counselor in a psych ward, I can understand the difficulty of medication not working. Having seen and heard my patients' frustrations, I'm terribly sorry that the system is not working in your favor. You are a beautiful human being deserving of a lot of love and support. Even though I am not there in person, just know you have my support, along with all the other wonderful people who have commented on this post. If there is any possible way I can help you, please feel free to DM or reply to my comment. Sending much love! u2764ufe0f
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I kind of wish I didn't know who would be analysing my work because I feel paralysed by the fear that I am going to embarrass myself. I can't think straight and it's definitely showing in my writing which only perpetuates the fear. Everyone I write just reads like it doesn't make any sense, and I am stressing because it's due next week :(. I feel judged and I have not submitted it yet! It's a horrible feeling of dread that I can't shake. Has anyone experienced something similar and how did you get yourself out of the thoughts
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All you can do is vet it yourself first. Write a draft, take a day off to not look at it, then read with fresh eyes to see what needs revising. That's the closest we can come to rating our own work objectively. If you read immediately after writing it, it's easier to overthink what's wrong with it. I have experience spending like 8 hours on a short essay that takes someone else an hour to complete, solely cuz I keep rereading and rewriting constantly before I even get a paragraph finished
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I have been dealing w/ anxiety and depression a long time now along w/ different health issue and being on disability. It's such a lonely place where u don't feel like u have purpose and then if you do u overwhelmed w/ anxiety! It seems you just can't win. So I decided to finally join this group to see how other people overcome. Anyone hear like to talk or pray for me I'd appreciate it!
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How are you feeling today?
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I want to stay connected but at the same time the grind of liking posts and watching stories all day is annoying...
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I try to, like for example tell people I'm visiting from out of state on this date ... but I know everyone has their own plans and whatever so I guess I can block myself by thinking they aren't interested if they don't follow up... so I end up letting them be
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Normally I'm okay in my solitude. I enjoy living alone and having no one to work around do whatever I want whenever.nnBut lately I've felt the cold harsh sting of loneliness. I dont have a boyfriend and only 1 real life friend that is a new mum so shes always busy and cancels on me all the time, which i understand. I have a family but the last few months have been rough and I find myself needing space from them which is making me more lonely. nnI have some online friends but we dont talk and that doesnt fufill the need for physical social interaction. Im super lazy/shy so doing anything outside is a no and I WFH still so I dont have an office but I hate the idea of going back to one. nnI hate online dating and still brooding over my ex and that would be unfair to any future partners. nnI dunno. Just feel like that mouse eating the candy on tiktok. think its coz its the holidays and seeing more people getting engaged and having kids and buying houses and im here just... doing nothing. nnJust ranting. Sorry.
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Yeah, I try with my small business, gaming, photography ect but lately its been boring and ive not enjoyed it. might need to try some new things maybe. but yeah, i do feel very unfulfilled atm with everything in life and think thats making me feel down.nnthank you
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Hi people, I've been lurking this sub for a long time but never posted. I'm a 23 years old girl with undiagnosed social anxiety (too anxious to see a therapist). nnWell, since I started my new job I've been eating almost nothing during the day and I've lost 7kg in 2 weeks, which is not healthy (I'm already thin) and I've realized that I've got to improve my habits. nnSince I'm never hungry lately, I've thought that I may need some exercise and I want to join a gym and commit to it.. But I'm so fucking scared. I'm not fit at all. I'm anxious about going in for the first time, about the classes, about not knowing how to use the machines, about blushing when a trainer or teacher talks to me.. About everything. Just wanted to know if you guys have some advice for me or similar stories about this subject. nnThanks for reading and taking the time to answer and sorry for my English, it's not my first language. nnThanks!
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Gotta let people judge you, gotta let your thoughts run wild because you know, in reality no one judge you the way you imagine. That's how you fight irrational fear but honestly if you're afraid not being able to use the equipments properly that's perfectly rational. Solution: bring someone with you. Though from my experience, when you first signing up, they will assign you a personal trainer to help you with the equipments. You said you're thin, the fat ones are more likely to stand out.
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I've never been diagnosed with OCD but I feel like I'm afflicted with purely obsessional OCD. Part of it is these intrusive thoughts, like I could be hanging around with friends and having a good time, but then I get stupid ideas in my head like they don't really like me. It seems like these thoughts come from nowhere and if I'm not aware of them I can throw myself into a loop of negative thinking and over analyzing everything. But here's the kicker, ignoring that negative thought feels wrong, I get a compulsion to think about it more and I get restless. The short term relief from the anxiety feels good, but once I get caught in that loop the negativity is overwhelming. nnAlso when my SA was a lot worse, I had this recurring fear that I was actually a sociopath and I just used people and was a horrible person. I just feel like I obsess over things and think a lot to relieve the anxiety, but the more I think about it the more anxious I get. nnThe compulsions for me are generally just needing to think about it more or researching stuff on the internet. Last night I had an awful headache, interestingly enough probably brought on by excessive rumination, so I just needed to relax. At this point I realized that the more I obsessed on a thought the worse the headache got, so I had to learn to relax and let it be.nnJust writing this post, I checked over it about 5 or 6 times. It's a bad habit that I need to fix. It's like I think I'll forget what I wrote only a few secs ago and then not make any sense. It's just these little things that make me realize my brain feels like it's always just thinking too much. nn
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Sounds like you have the right idea. I like to think of it as mindlessness. I always picture a happy dog as an analogy. It's just walking around looking at stuff, smelling stuff, using its hearing and enjoying the moment in just a simple, sensory way. It doesn't analyze anything. Thinking is overrated, I can't tell you what a joyous, warm feeling I get, even if it's just for a minute, when I just take a look around me, and breathe, smell the air and just live in the moment without thinking. That's all you ever have is that moment, everything else is just nonsense that you create in your head. Lots of people think that occupying their mind with some activity like watching TV will help but it doesn't because your mind is somewhere else when you do that. Exercise is a depression killer not just for physical reasons, but also because you're just focused on moving your body and feeling fatigue instead of thinking.
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How do you guys overcome the fear of public speaking? I have to take it as a requirement to finish my AA, but thinking about it is just making me feel really anxious and depressed.
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I just know I'll make it awkward or I'll say something dumb by accident.
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I'm not talking about severe breathing issues or panic-induced hyperventilation but rather something like the following...nnYour family member is in the Hospital. Your mind races, thinking the worst. Meanwhile, your kid has developed a cough.
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I think it is Panic attack.
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Here comes a ton of greetings and attention to me, specifically on Facebook. Seriously, I only open my Facebook on my birthdays cause I'm obliged to thank every single one of their
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My dad threw a huge ass party for me lol , it wasn't that bad tho . It was hella ppl .
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Whenever I try to share something (on twitter for example), or ask questions (during seminar or classes), having formal discussions (with client or customers), or just having normal conversations (with fam and friends), I just feel very confident and sure. But whenever spit those words out, I just want to flee, I want to take it back, I want to think that they heard/read nothing. Whenever I receive replies, I just turn off my wifi or pretend that I never received anything because I'm so scared to hear their response, to know their reactions. I'm scared that people will say that what I've shared is weird or pathetic or so vague, or offensive, a waste of time, and I'm afraid to the point that I wish I haven't spoke at all. I often delete those if ever i have a chance. Maybe I'm a little brave here because no one knows me. Maybe later on I will cringe on this post, I don't know. I wish they I'm not like this because I've lost lots of opportunities because of this stupid attitude.
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Sounds very familiar. Do you want to get more comfortable with all that? If so, it could be helpful to promise yourself you will start by trusting one person completely (only one! we're taking babysteps here). Is there someone you can think off? Start by sharing whatever you want and whenever you want with that person. Promise yourself you won't be harsh on yourself and just let things be. Open up to them. You'll see that it's never as bad as you imagine and that person won't find you weird. If all goes well, you'll get a little bit used to the feeling and can trust one more and so on.. The best of luck. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you want to talk you can DM me.
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Or do you think you're just bad at expressing yourself or you lack practice?
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Lack of practice is huge. If you met me during graduate school (presentations and critiques daily) vs me now (work from home, isolated in a new city) you'd think we were two different people.
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I'm renting a room (moved in Feb) despite my better judgment. I'm trying to save money until I can get my own place, plus the cost of living here is ridiculous. Anyways. My anxiety is at an all time high. I value stability so I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my living situation. nnI'm a young professional. I work 9-5. Come home, eat, shower, play video games, and sleep. That's all I do. I'm not loud. My previous landlord said he would vouch for me. The woman I'm renting from immediately (when I moved in) starts going on about the previous tenant being loud in the morning. nnThe advertisement said “renting a room. No smoking, no overnight guests, no pets, and no coming in later than 11. I have never restricted my life so much. I'm aware of my situation which is why it's not an issue. But I feel like it's gotten worse. nnMind you, she doesn't work. She's home all day. At night I can hear loud noises. Sometimes hysterical laughing at 3AM. The first week I was here I smelled weed in the morning. Turns out it was the guy next door. This has been the most bizarre living situation. nnIncident #1: She claims my door is loud shutting. Okay no biggie. Could be me, although I've never had a problem. So I made it a point to turn the nob and push when closing the door. Comes into my room and puts these stoppers on the door that limit sound. I'm like whatever that's fine. nnI've been even more crazy with trying to avoid noise nnIncident #2 (after taking all these ridiculous steps)nnShe installs some cloth to put around where the door is, and then a stopper at the bottom of the door. I sit there shocked like. How? How could one door make so much noise? Impossible. I noticed the guy next to me had nothing on his door. nnLast night I took a video of a door shutting loud. This was an hour after she put something on my door. At this point I'm thinking; she's either trying to get me out or she has some mental issue? Countless times the rules are being broken. Yes I don't know if she's confronting those people but I also know she's not taking the same steps with everyone. nnI've tried talking to her about it. Making it clear that I've taken every step to not be loud. I tiptoe to the bathroom. I literally limit the cleaning and laundry I do to one day of the week. When I know no one is home. She just pretty much ignores what I say. nnI really wanna do something about this. It sucks to walk on eggshells. Even more so then when I lived with my parents. I'm not a difficult person to live with. Never said I'm perfect but it seems there's more I'm missing? I can't really afford to move (again). I feel like a lot of landlords who have control issues rent rooms to assert themselves. Why rent rooms if you can't deal with living around other people? Makes no sense.
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I rented rooms in houses for about five years. So, I understand where you're coming from. nnMy best advice is to get out and find a better situation. Some rent a room situations are MUCH better than others. nnIt's a bit frustrating, but I would go and look at a few places. Chat with the roommates. Younger people are going to be more forgiving than older people. My best situation was a large five bedroom house with three other people as roommates. nnI have my own room and bathroom, and there was plenty of space to be alone when I wanted to be. Plus, no silly rules.
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I get the idea that part of my social anxiety can be attributed to viewing my interactions with others as a u2018performance'. Instead of focusing on the real goal of an interaction, the u2018goal' becomes coming across well. nnFor instance, if I went to buy a newspaper, u2018success' would be less about walking out with a newspaper and more about coming across well to the cashier. This would mean saying u2018the right thing', or using the u2018right' inflection in my voice etc. nnAll this seems to be a by-product of being socially anxious in the first place. Having these u2018wins' was great when I could barely make myself go to the store, but now it just annoys me. The real problem (not being able to buy a newspaper) is now no longer a problem, but the u2018performance' element still remains. nnI get the idea that a some of my approach to overcoming social anxiety is therefore misguided. Another example- it would be nice to contribute to a group conversation because I have something valuable to add, not because I want to u2018prove' my social aptitude. nnI hope what I'm saying makes sense. Please, please tell me if it doesn't. I'd be interested to know if anyone else has had a similar experience, or has reduced or eliminated this way of thinking. nnI don't know if it is related to Mark Snyder's concept of u2018self-monitoring'. I just don't want to go on feeling like an actor in my own body.
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I think you described it perfectly, especially the bit about u2018any and all social interactions'. It's a weird u2018reductionist' view, if I can call it that. I don't know, with me it seems to be linked to a desire to categorise everything, or to create u2018rules'. It's easy to treat things as if there is a u2018script' to follow, or a u2018process' for dealing with this vague u2018social situation' category. nnYou're so right about group conversations- perhaps we feel u2018pressure' to do things. Sometimes I want to join in, sometimes I feel I u2018should' join in. I usually don't know where the boundary lies between the two, which leads to scrambled thinking.nnOne minute it's:nnnu2018Maybe I'm super-introverted and these things don't interest me' nnThen it's:nnu2018I REALLY want to join in and be comfortable like everyone else'. (I assume they're comfortable).
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I just sit stonefaced and look down or off in the distance or something until someone engages me. I've been wondering if this is why it's so hard for me to make new friends (at my job for instance). Any advice on how to relax/what to do/who around me to relate to in those situations?nnEDIT: Once someone does engage me I'm okay, because I sort of know what to do/how to relate to them.. it's primarily in groups of people I don't know that I feel so uncomfortable.
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I've been trying to 'outward focus' the past couple of days and it does help in the moment. It's difficult to stay in that mode, but it's kind of a relief just to have something to focus on other than feeling awkward.nnThanks for your post, it makes a lot of sense. I appreciate it.
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I often suck at social interaction. Sometimes I nervously laugh because I recently got into that habit for some reason, because it's easier than holding it in. I'm also afraid it might scare someone because I might randomly laugh at the awkwardness of a situation, like the tension in my chest gets built up and I can't hold it in so I feel the need to express it somehow. Even if I try breathing to recenter myaelf I can't think and everything keeps spiraling. Now on the outside, most of the time, everyone says I look completely normal, and act completely normal. Now in my head, I also consider the idea that they are just being nice and not telling me what they really noticed. So therefore, I'm left to ponder and stress, and get anxious over such a small trivial thing I will never know of they are telling the truth. Can I trust my own self judgement? Is it true? I don't know who to doubt, them, or myself ud83dude25 it's extremely stressful!nnI'm sure u can see why it's very, very, very, very hard to manage, and why social interaction is quite exhausting, yet I love meeting people and talking to them none the less. It's like that anxiety you get when you're first learning to ride a bike, or more reasonably, learning to drive a car. That fear is just constantly with my and tormenting my every thought.nnI can't just randomly tell my friends because they would honestly think I'm crazy or something, but I'm not! It's annoying to fear that reaction, yet I know it's a strong possibility. I do everything a
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Hi. I think Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (see 1. below) will help you quite a bit. It will force you to put your thoughts on paper as well as combat them w/ logic seeking questions & arrive at more neutral or positive conclusions. If you do it often enough you'll begin to see what thoughts / behavioral patterns repeat which will make it easier to change &/or have positive thoughts. I've had ups & downs and was skeptical of CBT, but when I started writing more often I def. noticed a change.nnHere are some resources, books, youtube accts., etc. that have helped me. nnn1. CBT: I'd reccomend reading about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Kati Morton explains CBT: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g7B3n9jobus. Read
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I'm a female in my late twenties and have struggled with social anxiety my entire life. I've had a few friends off and on in the several years but most of these “friendships” consist of hanging out once or twice and never becoming close enough where I feel 100% comfortable around them. At this point, I don't necessarily want or expect that deep of a friendship, but I wish I had at least a few people I could hang out with every now and then. It feels difficult to find and maintain friendships not just because of social anxiety but logistically around work schedules, etc. I never know the right way to initiate plans. I see other women my age with huge friend groups and maybe that's just social media but it just always seems other people make friends so easily, even with those who appear even more shy than I am.nnAt work I feel like people like me well enough but I'm not included in social circles. Because of my social anxiety I don't open up much about myself and because I'm super self conscious about how others perceive me I usually overcompensate by smiling and just being super positive and cheerful. Because of that, I get the impression people don't take me seriously or I come across as too reserved, prudish, or not very relatable. I don't know how to change that about myself but it honestly feels like I'll never make friends.nnAnyone have any suggestions?
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I recently went to a board game cafe with two people I knew from school (aka my only two real friends) and a woman was there on her own and asked to join us and play a game with us. Like me, my friends were also super shy and not very talkative, but I was motivated to make this new person feel welcome. I found it to be a lot easier to start conversations when I had the game to talk about whilst thinking of getting to know ya questions. When we left we exchanged facebooks and already said we'd like to hang out again. New Friend! nnSo I suppose if you join a club for an activity you enjoy, you'll have that in common with the people there. I find it impossible to think of anything to talk about with anyone I meet in real life in places like public transport or work. Unless by wild coincidence you have something in common with them; I can't see how confident people manage to do it!
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I've made a post here before and I'm back. I'm in a constant state of anguish. I'm a burden to everyone around me and hate myself. I really do hate myself. People toss that term around frequently but I genuinely hate myself. I don't know what to do. I am flooded with suicidal thoughts. I don't know what to do I don't know who to talk to I don't want to talk to people I know i should. Someone please talk to me
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You probably needs some medicaiton and therapy. I know when i skip my meds my brain talks to myself just like you are doing right now. nnHave you tried reaching out to a professional?
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I keep getting censored on philosophy forums. I keep getting told what I am doing is not philosophy and excluded, even when trying to answer the questions of other people about academic philosophy. nnI've been given a temporary ban, even though my last comment was completely within thr rules (They didn't even remove it, it was relevant and reflected the literature.nnI have a degree in ethics (A branch of philosophy). I am answering in line with the relevant literature, talking students out of dropping out and am all around just trying to be helpful.nnThis is only one moderator doing this to me too, I've been forbidden from contacting other moderators on threat of a permanent ban. nnThere problem, is that my answers are stylistically critical, in the fashion of the frankfurt school of german philosophers. Critical theory.nnThey are claiming that what I am doing is a personal philosophy and doesn't belong in any college or university. So is therefore not academic philosophy. I pointed out that this is untrue. Goethe University in Frankfurt has philosophers who do the same thing I am doing. nnThey just don't like that I am combining critical theory and epistemic contextualism into a method of doing philosophy that is probably the most conducive to deep learning. I've even brought up the stages of student development and context relativism from work done in educational psychology and I'm still censored. I'm not even argued back with or told why I might be wrong. I'm just met with a brickwall.nnI am at a critical stage in my work and the community I'm supposed to discuss it with, won't discuss it! They don't even appreciate me pointing students towards the literature, on it when they are asking very specific questions about that.nnAll in all I feel rejected, hurt and wondering if I might just be crazy. Why can we not discuss this? Where is the taboo? In what way am I not doing philosophy? Why do they react to this with so much emotion?nnWhy is EC such a fiery issue for them? What is there problem? Can they refute it or can't they? nnI don't feel I deserve to be excluded like this over what is clearly nothing more than an unreasonable and wrong opinion on style. nnIt's gotten me so worked up I'm afraid of even this post being removed. I feel so alone.
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I'm in the UK also so i would have suggested the exact same. nUnfortunately there are a lot of people from the US on Reddit that assume everyone else is from the US also. nYou didn't do or say anything wrong. You're just trying to help so don't even worry about the attitude this person is giving you.
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And it makes me feel like an asshole but I can't handle the fact that he won't talk about anything serious and as soon as I bring it up he walks away or goes silent. He's been saying for days he needs to schedule a therapy appt because hes having nightmares that affect him during the day. He's been more depressed than usual and has been missing stop signs and red lights, to where I have to say something so we don't run it. This happened again when he was driving to work (we share one car), and I asked him to please schedule his appointment. It's on an app, he just has to open it and pick a date, that's it. But he's got too much on his mind to do that apparently and there's nothing to talk about. He got mad at me when I said if you have 5 min to make a photo shop at work then you can take another 5 min to just sign up for an appointment because I've had enough of the I'm too busy excuse. I work with him, and I know he has time to do it. He's just anxious about it. But im scared to let him drive now which he preferrs doing because I don't feel like I can trust him behind the wheel. He admitted he keeps zoning out and almost fell asleep while driving yesterday. I can't constantly be fighting for him to help himself, and I'm getting scared since he is endangering both of our lives. I need help. :/
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It's Dylan
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I don't know if stuff like this is welcome on this sub and this is probably cringe asf but I just wanted to ask this question.nnI can't even talk to waiters, bus drivers etc. unless I know EXACTLY what I have to say, how to do it, and stuff like that.nnI have been at my school for 2 weeks and I'm already regarded as the
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welcome to the gang bro
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I remember SA as early as 6 years old when I realized I didn't fit in with my peers in kindergarten.
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I don't remember my actual age, but it was somewhere between 3- and 5-years old. And basically, my siblings and I were playing a made up game with one of my cousins (who is 16 years older than me for reference). It was called
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Were you able to date someone without social anxiety? How were you able to step out of your stone to get that person, how was the relationship etc. nnHow I see it is if you have social anxiety whether that be mild or severe, if the person you date doesn't acknowledge that and can view you as boring and doesn't care about them when in reality words are too hard to express nnOn the other hand if you have social anxiety and the person you date is understanding then it could be a beneficial thing for you as they are willing to support you.
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i have never dated someone with anxiety nor have i dated a rather quiet person. i also couldnt imagine that since i rarely start the talking and if the other person also doesnt do that i see no way how thst would work out. all my partners always were extroverted people who would talk a lot and therefore i wouldnt have to that much, since extroverted people often enjoy the company of someone who really listens.nnhow did i approach these people? i simply didnt. they would start talking to me and wouldnt leave me alone until i was comfortable around them. its the same with my friends most of them are rather extroverted
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M20. So, yesterday i wanted to go out with a group of people that i found on internet. But when i came to place i couldn't approach them. There were only girls, which made it much harder. Another thing is that for the last couple of months i became a little confident about going to places i was scared of, like skate places, i can now skate around other people, saying hi to some of them. But when it comes to girls i can't calm myself down, because idk what to talk about.
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Oh. Well I don't know. I haven't really been in a situation like that beforennI'd say just keep trying over and over until you get it.
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Can anxiety and depression get worse before it gets better while taking Zoloft?? I just started taking it almost 3 weeks ago and I've noticed that some days the anxiety and depression is worse. Is this normal??? Will it get better with time?? Is this just a side effect of it??
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yes....I'm on zoloft and pretty pleased so far with it (I'm 6 weeks in). Much better than cymbalta.
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I've battled depression/anxiety since probably middle school and I'm currently 34 yo (female). This is a vent, because idk I need a safe outlet to put my thoughts together. nnI'm married to my husband (36 m) and have 2 kids (3 yo/7 yo girls)z I love my kids more than anything and do my best for them. I'm going to go back to therapy soon, because I can't tell if I'm so unhappy with myself or my marriage issues is causing the unhappiness. nnI'm concerned my husband my also be depressed. He is a functioning alcoholic who is mean when he's had too much. I grew up around alcoholics and have always been distant from drinking. I have no idea how i married someone that drinks daily and is drunk 2-3 days a week, but here I am.
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I am you but 20 years older. Instead of two girls, I have one (18M) who is autistic, adhd, DCD and GDD. I think he is also hyper-mobile. His alcoholic dad died when he was 47 eight years ago due to alcohol. I have had severe anxiety and depression since, plus cPTSD due to it and other events from my childhood. Please get help. I finally did, and though it is still a struggle day by day, my psychiatrist and others see huge improvements in me, even if I can't yet see them myself. Please DM anytime if you need an ear.
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I'm so screwed. I can't wait to be at prom depressed and drunken off self hatred for me not being able to do something normal high schoolers can do. I tried, so fucking hard, and for nothing. I don't know what I'm doing, and I probably won't be able to figure it out soon
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I guess what I meant is why do you have to find somebody you don't even really know or get on with to go 'with' - why can't you just go with your actual friends?
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I don't know how common this phenomenon is, but I'd like to know if I'm the only weirdo in this category. nnThe internet (and some professionals) make it out to sound like everyone could have ASD, when in reality, social anxiety just makes you look stupid and fuck up every human interaction.
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10 minutes? Same thing happened to me as an adult.nnSome 'professionals' make up their mind before you even walk in the door. It's hard to trust those ones.
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My family thinks I am the longest pooper ever but I am just sitting in the bathroom so I can be alone for a little bit. I will also just randomly disappear and re appear. Sometimes I will go out front or somewhere where people arent around. It sucks being like this.
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Every day
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My family is probably and literally the only reason why I'm still here. If I didn't have my family I'd probably wouldn't be living anymore. My parents.....I can't blame them how how I turned out honestly. They worked hard to put food on the table and roof over our heads. They gave us everything we needed even though they weren't always there emotionally. I'm just a coward...a miserable coward, who's scared of life. A miserable coward who lived most of his life sheltered. Everyday is the same sht and I drink myself to sleep. All these thoughts are eating at me and I really don't know how much of me is left.....
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I worked on my confidence and push myself to go out and be social. So I go to class, run errands, etc. and I improved my confidence issues by fixing my skin, going to the gym, dating, etc.
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Has anyone here gone through CBT where you've had to do exposure therapy ?? Did this actually help you or make everything worse in the long run ??
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Sure but what I'm saying is that there is some underlying mechanism in the brain of people suffering with SA that isn't there in a normal healthy brain, therapy helps but what is really needed is some permanent change to that part of the brain so it goes back to normal and thus ending the SA.
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So this year on my 27th birthday the worst happened. I organised birthday drinks for myself and no one came.nnWell, almost no one. Close enough. I invited about 30 people, about a dozen said they'd come, then they all cancelled at the last minute, some hours after they were supposed to be there. I had dinner at the bar with my then-fiance before another couple finally showed up 3 hours late.nnI'm still not over this. But I calculated that this Friday I'll be 10,000 days old (cool, right?) so today I made a Facebook event for drinks this Friday, saying
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But ... the point is that I'm 10,000 days old. If I do it on Saturday or something I'd be 10,001 days old.
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.
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YES, then it causes paranoia, which causes anxiety, which causes MORE paranoia, which then repeats ad nauseum until I just don't leave the house.
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I have pretty bad social anxiety, but I'm able to cover it up and function completely normally at work even if it drains all my energy to do so. As a result, I've made two very good friends who I've been working with for about a year now.nnThey are consistently wanting to hang out on the weekends or after work (all three of us, which makes me even more nervous...), and thus far I've been making a lot of excuses and haven't gone. I keep myself pretty secluded on the weekends - mostly just hanging out with my boyfriend, who I live with, and maybe one other friend on occasion. I honestly like it this way. But the coworkers are amazing people, and I can tell it's starting to put them off that I keep declining their invitations.nnHonestly, I'm fine with keeping the friendship mostly at work and not taking it further (although I love both of them.) Being around people makes me a nervous wreck, and I haven't had many close friends since early college (so maybe 6 years ago.) I did, at one point, have several but have slowly shut them out due to anxiety and the other issues surrounding my anxiety. nnI realize having friends is healthy... but it feels like more trouble than it's worth when I'm fine with the level of interaction we currently have. Should I suck it up and hang out with them, or keep declining? If I keep declining, how honestly should I address why I don't want to hang out? They're incredibly understanding but I can't imagine a way to phrase all of this that would both make sense to a normal person and not offend them in the process.
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You should definitely go. I always put off doing things like this, and I regret it. I build up these kinds of occasions in my head like it's a big deal, but if you actually go it'll be much less worse than you imagined and probably enjoyable. You're lucky you have good friends you really like and who actually want to spend time with you.
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I'm currently a little tipsy and I feel so much more relaxed, pretty much euphoric. I want to feel like this all the time. Luckily I have a lot of self discipline and I know how to control myself, but I always look forward to having a drink so much. I sympathise with any alcoholics with SA
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I have once, but I was drunk when I took it, so I think my experience may have been tainted a bit. Definitely enjoyed that night, though.
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I realize there are many coping strategies but I'm curious if anyone has any experience getting rid of it?
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Ima dm you, it's gotta be explained
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Like it's hard for me to focus on anything else until I get that over with. So when I have an appointment in the afternoon, it's all I can think about leading up to it.
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Not anxiety but i might forget some questions i prepared beforehand.
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Idk what it is but everytime it gets dark it feels like a nightmare a bad one at its just flat out fear like anxiety making its presence
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Yess! I can most definitely agree with you on that one
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I was talking to a guy from a dating site and actually made plans to play pool at a bar. I had an internal debate for days about whether to go or cancel. Almost backed out in the parking lot because there were so many cars. Turns out a band was playing that night. So I gather all my nerve and go in. The pool table took quarters so I figured while I was waiting I would start playing so I didn't just stand there on my phone like a weirdo while everyone else was surrounded by friends. nnWell after 20 minutes the guy wasn't there. No call or text. I texted him 10 minutes before we were supposed to meet and said I was there. nnWell after enough people staring at me I left. Totally sucks to be stood up and I hate dating. Bright side is I tried.
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Part of me is wants to become the spinster old lady with a bunch of dogs who just does puzzles all day. I will inevitability try again though.
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We were smoking a pipe in the evening and I asked what did she thought of me when meeting me for the first time. Apparently I
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She says you look and act like a boring nerd, someone else might say you come off as an intelligent and responsible person. She says you don't talk enough, other people probably interpret this as being a good listener or someone who thinks before they speak. She says you walk in a weird way, someone else might adore the quirky way you walk.nnJust because she thinks these are faults, you don't need to feel self-conscious. There are other people who appreciate and actual desire these traits. There's no need to feel bad about them.
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I'm completely terrified. I'm so worried he'll be disappointed by me. He's driving 6 hours each way and we're supposed to spend the day together. We play an mmo together and are always together online, either in game or chatting on discord. When he brought up finally meeting I felt my stomach drop. I think it's going to ruin our friendship when he realizes I'm not very attractive in person.nn I bought ice breaker cards because I'm a dork.
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you will do great! i'm sure your online synergy will carry over into your real world interactions. besides, you guys have something to talk about at least and some common interests i'm sure. i also recommend voicing your concerns to him and making sure he knows how nervous you are. we always have the worst impressions of ourselves. you guys will have a great time! for me, it helps to plan out the entire day and try to stick to the plan, but account for changes in mood or weather. it gives a great opportunity for reflection and to relieve a lot of the anticipatory stress.nice breaker cards are a great idea. you're gonna do awesome! i believe in you!!
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I teach at a university and we have just received a request from an MA student with social anxiety who is requesting to be completely exempt from attending seminars. I would really appreciate input from you, as I have no personal experience with social anxiety and don't know enough about it to really make a decision.nnThe seminars the student is asking not to have to go to are just a small group - 5 or 6 students and the professor, and it's a three hour seminar once a week for ten weeks. The point of the seminars is to discuss the texts we read, and since grad school (in the humanities) is supposed to be mostly about learning to think critically about stuff you read or experience, discuss ideas, apply theories and present your opinion about things orally and in writing the seminars are very central. Students generally each present a chapter or article during the seminar, and we all discuss it. 75% attendance is required. There are also some lectures and so on in seminars.nnSo it's a big deal to miss ALL the seminars, and while the student suggested they could use email communication and do tasks outside of class to compensate, that requires a lot of extra work from us professors, because we would basically have to design a whole online version of the class - and the professors would have to be the discussant for the student since the other students are discussing in the seminar, not online. nnBut just saying no also seems callous. nnDoes anyone know how other universities in similar situations have dealt with issues like this? Or does anyone have good ideas for helping the student to participate in class, at least most of the time?
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I remember feeling anxious going to some classes and the first one was always the worst. Where do i sit, how many people are there and so on. The anticipation of something going wrong was always worse than the actual event. So I would make sure the student attends the first one as the anxiety might be reduced after the first attendance. nnThe professor maybe could ask in person or email how the first attendance went and mention they would really like to see them again in class not just because the course requires it but rather they feel they have something valuable to say even though they might not have spoken much . I think its just making the student gain confidence in themselves and feel that they are wanted.nn
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I'm great at what I do and learn fast but I'm lacking when it comes to social skills especially getting to know my co-workers. They're so judgmental, always talking about someone, and when I'm talking with them all I can think about is what they say or think about me. So when we're all at breakfast or lunch together I just tend to not say much because of my cognitive distortions/ social anxiety.nnToday at lunch someone they knew walked over and they caught up with the guy. Seemed like a really cool guy. When he walked away, they all talked about how they didn't like and couldn't stand him when they met him because he was so quiet. They complimented how much he had come out of his shell and how they liked him so much better now. All I could think about is that's probably exactly how they think of me. Even though I'm a kind person with a lot to offer, instead of them trying to get to know me they would dislike me because I'm quiet? People are weird man, this world is nasty, and full of politics. I'm trying so hard to push myself so I don't slide back because I've made so much progress.
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this is how my friend at school acts with me. nrecently this week, (im currently trying to overcome my social anxiety) she said to me
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It sounds like a weird app idea but I feel like it would be very therapeutic to meet others going through the same thing. Like irl. This sub is nice and all but until I meet someone else irl who relates to what I'm going through I still feel very alone... no one in my personal life can relate to what I'm going through, and only my closest friend knows about it. Just kinda wish there was a way for us with SA to meet up locally and break out of our bubble while being around people who actually get it, you know?
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I'm sure there's a discord server for it but I've been putting it off myself, just google social anxiety discord and a list should be there
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I've had anxiety and depression for years. I within the last year realized how important sleep is when it comes to my mental health. When I don't sleep at least 7 hours, my anxiety starts to surface and I feel just off and low (depressive mood).nnI know this about my self, but what irritates me is that people truly don't understand why I “need to sleep.” I'm called a granny, a party pooper, boring, etc. because I make sure to try and stay on schedule with my sleep schedule and hygiene or I won't feel well mentally or physically. I know it's not for them to understand because what works for my body is what works.. but it's annoying. I also have migraines and asthma, and a lack of sleep causes both of those things to flare too. nnI've had insomnia for as long as I can remember and I've now found herbs and supplements to help me sleep so I take full advantage of being able to sleep now. nnWhy can't people understand how important sleep is to those with mental and physical health issues? Why do I have to feel like I gotta explain why I have to go to sleep at a certain time? Why can't people just understand the complexities of depression and anxiety and leave people the fuck alone?nnRant over.
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I try to get 9 hours lol. People look at it as me just oversleeping it's being lazy and I'm like no, if I don't sleep I cannot function and I have to work 8-5 m-f so I need to be able to function mentally and physically.. and my emotions get out of whack as well. People just suck when it comes to mental health and at least trying to understand
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Just curious :)
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When I was in elementary and middle school I got in trouble constantly for talking too much. To the point I had to have conferences with my teacher and parents about it. I was friends with mostly everybody, and I had no problem talking to girls. I did get bullied a decent amount but I never let it bother me too much. Then literally overnight, I woke up one day with soul crushing anxiety which continued to get worse, and didn't seek any treatment for it until I was out of highschool. By then my mind was completely fucked up and still is to this day. It's a little bit better but I struggle to talk to people and I know I come off as a stick up prick when I'm really just horrified of doing something that used to be easy. Now I'm a 25 year old reclusive failure with no accomplishments, no friends, and no life.
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Hello Social Anxiety friends. I'm hoping someone can point me in the right direction for some online resources or books to read for help since I've been coming up short on Google. Here's my story:nnI love being social. I go out. I talk to everyone and anyone and I'm not afraid to talk to new people. I work full time where I brief high ranking officials weekly and I thrive. I teach an undergrad college class one night a week for 3 hours. I have friends. I'm married. I am a great public speaker. nnMy problem starts when I leave the social situation. I start to get anxiety over whatever event I just finished. My husband and son came to visit me at work today and we talked with some of my coworkers and as soon as they left I felt the anxiety starting. If I go out to dinner with friends, as soon as I get in the car to go home. I believe it's the normal
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Thank you!!! I think I found some good stuff online to read through now. It's weird because I didn't think that reassurance and self-compassion or mindfulness was my problem, but I think you guys have me in the right direction now.
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I want money, so I could actually spend it on stuff. But I am so damn afraid to leave my info on the website and answer the phone when they call me.nnAnd especially afraid of the interview. And dealing with costumers. I found out recently that I stutterer when I talk to strangers and I feel like everything I say or do is wrong.nnThis anxiety is ruining my life, I can't do anything! Can't even go to the store. I'm so sick of it.nnDoes any of you somehow have an advice? A way to do it?nIf not it's okay, I just need to vent
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Glad I could be of some help. Wish you the best!
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Do you?nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/q5gdfe)
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That is a worrying statistic...
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I am working on a site where people with social anxiety can geek out, find info about their disorder, make friends, play video games and even date other people with SA; but to finish it i need your feedback.nn(https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1OTdhShntfQTM61Bv9qjf2uxRgk1zuQaFCzAxmiM6l_Y/viewform?usp=send_form)nnIt only takes 1-3 min. I wish there would be some kind of reward but i can only give you my gratitude. :) Also, please let me know if there are any spelling mistakes in the survey, i will fix it asap.nnThanks in advance !nnEDIT: I am trying to figure out why people downvote this. :( I know most people hate surveys but this is beneficial for all the people with SA. I am trying to find a way to help people without asking anything in return, only your feedback.nnEDIT2: Thanks everyone who took the time to fill out the survey, i really appreciate it. :) The responses were overwhelmingly positive. The survey will still be up for the entire week so if you stumble on this post before 23rd august you can still complete it. I will start working on the site now. You can expect a beta release in about 2 weeks. Those who chose to be announced when the site comes online will receive a beta invitation via email (for the guys that just typed
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Put this in r/startups
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is it a social anxiety 'thing' to literally have to plan out EVERYTHING in your head before it happens? i.e. conversations, when you're about to enter a room/store or basically anything??nnI am always amazed at peoples ability to just speak off the cuff/extemporaneously, the conversation doesn't come naturally to me at all-- although I should say that some days I get lucky and I'm okay but the majority of the time all I can think of as a reply is 'yes'.nnI guess another thing would be just being hyper-aware of everything around me and also everything that I'm doing.. sometimes I even feel like all my mental energy is focused on the way I'm presenting myself that its impossible for me to do anything else normally/naturally like have a conversationnnanyway, I'm not sure if this is because I have social anxiety, no social skills, or both.
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I feel exactly the same. I used to be fine in every conversation, but in the last two years I cannot hold a one on one conversation.
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i know this is weird af but i don't have any friends irl and i feel really lonely at times, ecspecially during holidays and have no one to text. anyone interested in joining a group chat? i want to make new friends.nn@everyone that wants to join, pm me ur number with ur country code! sorry if i didn't mention this earlier, it might take one or two days for me to set up the chat so please be patient!! i'm excited too hehe:)
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sounds like a good idea
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(personal rant or whatnot)nnWith no warning a couple family relatives have come to stay with us. If they had given a heads up I could at least try to mentally prepare for it. The sudden increase in voices makes me go mad and go into hiding. So many voices rumbling through the walls. I barely leave my room, basically starving myself, and just wishing they would leave. nnMy family doesn't understand why and when I explain they forget. nnPutting on my headphones is the only peace I have and the battery low. The charging cable is in the middle of all the chaos. nnPlease go away...
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My situation isn't the same as yours, but I can definitely relate and I'm sorry you're uncomfortable. I'm currently in my room seething because my roommate's kid is chilling in the living room despite living with her mom right down the street. So I'm going to leave the apartment to have some peace of mind.nnI'm renting a spare room here and knew I was going to have to see his kids when they came to visit which I dealt with just fine. He got a dog awhile back though and now his children are over here all the time to be with the dog. Even when he's not here.nnThey'll have the volume all the way up on the TV, run around our tiny apartment with a huge Rottweiler, slam doors and just be generally annoying. I've definitely gone without food and held my bladder to almost bursting to avoid interacting with them. Doesn't help that none of us have any interest in talking to the other so we're just awkwardly in each other's space all the time.nnYou cant let social anxiety prevent you from getting what you need though. Take a deep breath, say
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I get nervous all the time crossing the street because of all the people looking at me from their vehicles.
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When they stop on the crosswalk or want to turn.
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I fucking hate living with crippling social anxiety. I always fuck shit up in social settings and I can't talk like a normal fucking person. I hate feeling awkward. I hate being socially anxious. I hate feeling like everyone thinks i'm weird 24,7. I hate feeling disgusting and embarassed after every conversation I have with a person. I just want to be free from this shit. It's so debilitating and painful. This is a mental prison. It's not even living.
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It's the worst
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Like do you feel nervous when going to barber shop, afraid to tell/have to explain to a barber the haircut you want, or hoping barber won't drag you to a conversation.
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yes, I literally ask the barber for the same hairstyle everytime, or rather the one I had since years ago because I don't know any other way to describe other hairstyles effectively.
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ud83eudd14ud83eudd14ud83eudd14ud83eudd14
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Take one small step at a time and surround yourself with the stuff that makes you feel happy.nDon't worry about the future, don't worry about tomorrow, just think about how you can do better today.nRead something you like, do something you love, try to change a little bit everyday. Every person is beautiful in some way or other, you just need to find out what makes you beautiful.nnThis is just my personal opinion, something which helped me get through tough times. Stay blessed.
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Hello. nnI want to apologize in advance if any of my language or terminology is outdated or offensive. I promise it is not my intent. Please let me know if there is preferred terminology I should use instead. nnMy neighbor is an older gentleman who, I believe, suffers from schizophrenia or some other mental health problem. Some nights, he will loudly and angrily talk to himself with sentences that are barely coherent, and to people who are not there. He is so far harmless, but recently the rants have included racial slurs and he has been picking up bricks and stones while ranting. It makes my friends uncomfortable, and at times it can feel unsafe.nnMy question is- is there someone I can call during these episodes? I don't want to call the police, who are woefully unprepared to deal with mental health issues, but I'm worried it might escalate and he might inadvertently hurt me, my friends, or my property, or himself. Please, any advice or insight you can offer is greatly appreciated.
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It's important to find someone who can deescalate and help this person without additional harm to themselves or others.
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It was with a guy i've know since high school, all it took was 1 mg of clonazepam, a few drinks and being in the dark lol but it happened! (: I'm proud but not a fan of the kissing lol 3/10 and i'll most likely regret it later but at the moment I felt no anxiety
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I just think he was kinda aggressive for my first kiss, I didn't really feel anything but I was happy I finally did it lol
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Hi, I dont really know how to start this post off so I'll just get into it, I feel lost, I feel like everyone around me hates me, I feel like I just annoy them and I just want some advice, or comfort even if it comes in the form of strangers, i have 2 siblings and one in particular really seems to hate me, maybe not hate but just has a strong annoyince towards me, but I love them, there alot older than me but I look up to them alot and to have the person you look up to show such disregard towards you just hurts, and I just want to think deep down its just in my head and they really do love me and want me around but I just can't assume that, the other one i get along with quite well but I do sometimes get that same feeling, so can someone just give me a little comfort, I would really appreciate it, Thank you.
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Thank you, maybe I'm a little too hard on myself at times but I really do hope it really is all in my headnThanks partner
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So I honestly do not know how to do this right.Am I supposed to great(like say hi or something)when someone who I haven't talked to in about a week sends me a funny clip
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Not necessarily if they jump into the convo with a meme. If you want you can go from “lol“ to “so, how havw you been?“.nAlso it's written greet not great :P
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i'm not sure if anyone else experiences such a phenomenon and i'm quite curious. when i'm in the city (in my case, specifically NYC but this works in just about any) i tend to be able to act a lot more fluidly. it's like a weight is lifted off my shoulders and my anxiety about everyday shit melts awaynnex. in a suburban/rural town i find myself sometimes getting to the point of being in tears with interactions as simple as checking out at a grocery store, whereas in the city i'm not anxious in the slightest and can actually make small talk with people? like... idk. it's strange. i just figure that there's no way i'm the worst person anyone's seen all day due to the sheer amount of traffic and it's fine!nnperhaps it's an extension of how i just generally feel better when out of my parents' house - my grandparents live in a large city and staying with them is where i get the most experience of this phenomenon. am i just a weirdo?
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same. i have less social anxiety in the big city than in a rural city and idk why
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I never post. EVER. I have posted maybe fifteen times (non comment posts; I originally thought it was four but I checked ud83dude11) in the last five years, and I've wanted to post more. But I've always backed out. I'm 28. I'm shy, even on the internet. nnn It's a little early on the west coast right now.nnnI got banned from r/relationships today/yesterday and I think I'm okay with that.nnnThere was a post earlier, before I went out, about some 16 y/o kid whose mom cheated on his dad. It was fake and deleted. I took some screenshots of the post and linked them to r/bestof. It got me banned from r/relationships, and I think I'm okay with that even though it's kind of a big deal for someone who is as socially awkward as me. Well, I kind of have to be okay with it. I wasn't sure about the rules. I'm a little drunk right now so I'm probably more okay with this then I'll be tomorrow. It kinda bummed me out after doing such a simple, stupid thing but I really feel I need to branch out, so I'm saying fuck it. nnI'm sayingnn today I fucked up, and I'm going to move past it. And I really do want to. It might not seem like such a big risk to other people but it is to me, so I'm gonna stick to it. I've lived too long like this. Not just online. I'm awkward as fuck in person but I don't want it to define me anymore. Maybe I'll talk about it more later. But for now I just want to let it out and go to sleep. nnThanks for reading my post even if it doesn't make sense; I'll take any advice to heart, and I'll be back around 10 am. Thanks!
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>today I fucked up, and I'm going to move past it. And I really do want to. It might not seem like such a big risk to other people but it is to me, so I'm gonna stick to it. I've lived too long like this.nnI wish you the best, it is often far easier to move on from something when it's nature is that of a finality I find. it's when there is ambiguity and uncertainty of the correct way to act that it becomes much harder. At least in your case.. you mostly know it is what it is. nn
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My whole life I had this problem and growing up in a society where talking to neighbors, elders and pretty much everyone you meet is expected of you it is hard as hell. Even as a child I always hide behind my parents, always clinging to them, hiding when cousins come over, doing anything and everything I can to avoid any sort of conversation.nI'm now in my mid 20s and everytime I go out with friends I'm a loud mouth but the moment I meet a new person or go to a shop, school etc. I always let whoever is with me do the talking.nAnd now as an adult I gotta find a job, go out and do things on my own, be an adult and live.nI have never met or heard anyone who had the same problem as me and I just found out this group so here I'm sharing my experiences as I go through it. nnMy dad found me a teaching job as a primary teacher and I start tomorrow, and going through all the people talk about how they got over their social anxiety, this job seems to be the best for me to overcome it.nRight now thinking about how I would go in and teach, what should I say, do I make small talks, do I make jokes or do I just teach and walk out goes through my head, and just thinking about it all make my stomach turn and my knees weak, I can't even seem to sleep, but life goes on and I just gotta go through it just like everyone else.nnSo, yeah I Will be updating as I go on and also I hope my story helps someone out there too.
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BTW nThe reason I have some courage to face my problem head on is because in my highschool years I perform on stage infront of the whole school with a friend, and before I got up my anxiety and nerve were through the roof but the moment I stepped on stage my anxiety turned into excitement and I loved it, I went as far as to go up a 2nd time to perform another song. nAnd the 2nd time is the time I went for my 1st job interview, there were about 8 different jobs doing interviews at the same spot, and before going into my 1st interview again my anxiety was killing me but going in and facing it 1 time was enough to make me realise it wasn't as bad as I imagined and was super hyped up to enter the others (I didn't get any of the jobs but it was a great experience).nnSo these are the reasons why I feel like if I just go through this class tomorrow, I might love it and have no issues.
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I am doing a research project about how social anxiety affects people's life. Could you please answer this poll?nnWhich situations you avoid due to your anxiety? nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/vrtryw)
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Your post has been automatically removed because your Reddit account was created too recently to post or comment in this sub.nnI am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please (/message/compose/?to=/r/socialanxiety) if you have any questions or concerns.
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Because if so, I relate to that. I wanna talk about it but there's so much going on in my head that I can't find the words. On top of that, I'd rather not burden my friends with having to hear about my problems any longer. It's best they just hear from me when I'm happy so that they don't have to worry. Sorry for posting this I just needed somewhere to vent
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I've been gaming a lot recently but I think it's more avoiding it rather than dealing with it
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There is a person I have met before that I avoid saying hello to/striking up conversation. We have talked a few times earlier this year, but the last 5+ times I have seen this person I did not say anything/pretended to not see them. I see this person on campus quite often, so there are ample opportunities to interact with them. However, I am afraid that it would be weird to start talking to this person now, since I have essentially avoided them for the past few months. Also, I know I have commonalities with this person, e.g. being vegan and following a zero waste lifestyle. Both of these commonalities are very small minorities in the grand scheme, so I always try to bond with others within these two communities. I would like to be this person's friend, but I feel like I let the chance pass me by. Any suggestions on how to move forward? If I do initiate a conversation should I recognize that I have been avoiding this person or should I act is if that never happened?
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Stop entertaining all the excuses you keep coming up with and talk to them. You already know you have things to talk about now give yourself permission to do it and do it.
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Yo what's good, tonight I'm going to town by myself for the sheer reason of proving to myself I can, any tips/tricks on how to be a chill ass dude would be appreciated.
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Lol
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I believe that I may have some sort of social disorder. I have very little people I know and call friends. I've always been 'that quite kid' of the group and now I'm starting to think it's more than just being quite. I struggle big time at speaking in front of people, even if it's only one on one. I often lose my train of thought and draw blanks. Whether it be talking to a teacher or speaking in front of a class my voice becomes shaky and trembles. I also develop a slight stutter to my word, my heart races, my face gets super red and it's just awful. Is this the kind of stuff you guys deal with?nnIs this something that can be treated?nnIs there anything I can do?
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I feel suicidal everyday, especially before sleep when medication wears off, but I'm not willing to act on it. Sometimes I get really sad for no reason.nnI had same situation, parents knew I'm quiet but said its normal. I told my mom that I really need help and I just look OK. I'm not OK at all. And she found a psychiatrist for me.n.nIts good that you do something to relax, to break the routine :-) I only relax when I'm alone, on PC and listening some music. Isolates me from everything around.
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