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a couple months ago my best friend died of an overdose. she was 19 (so am i). she had been addicted to hard drugs (pills, coke etc) for a while starting in high school and lost a lot of friends because of it including me for a period of time. but me and her had been best friends, almost sisters since we were 11. so even though the rest of my friend group had cut her off because of her problems due to her addiction and her denying any help, i stayed with her. i (tried my best to) see past her manipulative behavior, etc. because i knew that the real her was still in there somewhere if that makes sense. i tried to help her get off the drugs she was on, which she asked me to, and anyone who has been in that situation would know it's almost impossible. eventually i started taking the drugs she did and our friendship spiraled into continuous pointless fights every day. after an incident where in my eyes at the time she ruined my birthday, i couldn't do it anymore and i stopped hanging out with her and stopped responding to her texts. i told her she was a bad friend and just dumped all of my complaints about her behaviors in the past on her. a couple months later she texted me saying she really needed me, her best friend. her mom was dying and her sister had died unexpectedly a few months before. again i told her no and was completely rude and cold to her. i told her again how bad of a friend i thought she was. a few days later, i get texts from her boyfriend and her brother telling me she was dead. nnshe had told me one of the times that we reconnected that she had tried to commit suicide when i told her things like i did the days before she died. i didn't realizehow important it was to her how i thought of her but how stupid could i be to not see that. we had been best friends for years the only people that were there for each other. nnevery since she passed i feel like nothing is real. i still can't wrap my head around the fact that she's gone. i miss her so much. as soon as i heard the news.. i knew why and i knew she did it on purpose and i knew it was because of me. i know that i can't put that blame on my self and i shouldn't but can't get that feeling out. she needed her best friend. and i wasn't there for her. and now she's gone. i failed in a way that i can never repair. now i'm scared to get close to anyone or have any friends because i just let people down. i don't want to hurt anyone like i hurt her. but i'm so lonely and stuck and i don't know what to do.
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r/SuicideBereavement
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It makes me want to delete everything!
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Yes, all the time
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As said in the title, I would be happy to help as much as possible with my own experience anyone who has any questions about it, hoping that it will be helpful to someone.nnlet's post here and share some advice with everyone..
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You first have to know who you are and what you really want.nnWe can't be friend with everyone and get along with anyone. Just accept that.nnIf you then know who you are, what you like and what you want from life, it will be much easier to also know what kind of person you want in your life and what kind you don't want.nnOnly by doing this you've already removed half of the problems.nnYou don't have to try to act like them.. that's not you and they will see you are trying hard. Just be yourself and stay with people that accept younnHow old are you by the way if I may ask? Because most of the time teenagers can be really bad with classmate just because they want the attention, and if this is the case I'm sure you don't want to be friend with them (and believe me, this needs that they have, will give them a lot of trouble in the future)
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I understand in order to grow we must expose ourselves to certain situations that makes us scare or anxious. I get it in our mind it's we just must not face this situations but isn't that comfort zone? Then how do we grow if we have this mindset of not wanting to try but at the same we want a change within ourselves. nnSorry I don't know how to explain properly
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It would. Also, check out a group called Toastmasters.nnhttps://www.toastmasters.org/
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Trying to feel less alone here… I just moved to a new city as a single, almost 30 year old woman. I don't know anyone, I'm a bit of an introvert but can be extroverted in some situations, and between my intense work and school schedule, I don't have a ton of time to be going out and meeting people. nnMy life feels temporary - I haven't settled into my new city and now that winter is coming I fear that I will want to stay inside even more than I already am. I'm sad, I'm lonely, and I miss my old life. I'm proud of myself for making this move to better my future but now that the novelty of somewhere new has worn off, I don't know what to do. My friends and family are great supports but this sadness I am feeling runs deeper than I think they are equipped to understand and/or handle.nnAny tips on moving, meeting friends in adulthood, dating in a new city, how to embrace the loneliness and turn that into hardcore focus, or anything else along those lines would be SO much appreciated.
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Those transitions are tough. I think it's important to find a community. Could be via Meetups, different activities like fitness or art, any opportunity to meet others with common values or working toward a common goal. And then you hopefully get a pool of potential partners too.
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As someone with SA do you have a job? What kind of jobs do you guys have? Do you enjoy working?
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shipping in a factory
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Personally I find it extremely rude of him to say in that manner but it also made me curious if this is partly true? Do pretty / conventionally pretty and skinny people face such problems?
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No i'm skinny af and have social anxiety and i had a friend with social anixety who is skinny. Also i seen many good looking people with social anxiety and why would personality even affect looks. Your uncle is most likely insecure and projecting. Also there's litterally many fat and ugly people with plenty of friends
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I am an 18 year old male and my life is horrible. I currently am attending college and I commute to school. I might have some of the worst anxiety I think is possible, I think it might even have evolved in AvPD. I can't concentrate in class, I just look around to see if anyone is looking at me, judging me, then look down at my notebook. I feel like there is a spotlight shining on me and everyone is staring at how ugly and stupid I am. I have zero friends, none. I never will, I'm too scared of opening up to people, I just avoid everyone. I don't have contact with anyone and I don't talk in class. When I have to do group work or something, my mind is goes into a state of pure terror; my heart race, I blush and my face gets REALLY hot, I sweat profusely, and sometimes I even tremor. Presentations require stealing my dads ativan, and even then I my heart is beating out of my chest, I mumble and struggle to speak. Everywhere I go and everything I do, I have a shit load of anxiety. I don't even want to leave my house anymore. I'm about to drop a class bc of the group work and I'm considering just dropping out all together. I can't take this anymore. I don't want to go to a doctor because it causes me to panic (I've tried). I was on Lexapro back in highschool and it helped, so maybe I should get back on. I don't know, I'm lost. I've no clue what the fuck in doing anymore. I'm so depressed now also. Not sure what to do...
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I hope but I've dealing with this for years, I don't see anything changing on its own, it's gotten much worse over time.
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It really annoys me because SA is a big enough problem by itself and it is great to see it finally getting some attention, but they make it seem like vaping is the bigger issue. Why mix up two serious problems.
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those anti vaping commercials literally enchance my anxiety everytime i see them
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For a while I've had this fear of saying too much to people and potential relationships and scaring them off or not saying enough and having them drift away. A couple of times they've drifted away but recently it happened again and they drifted away due to me not expressing myself properly. I can see it's going to happen now to the funniest and most beautiful person I've ever met. Do I tell them what I think is wrong?nnWhen it happens it really gets me down. When I was at work I could barely concentrate, couldn't talk to anyone and I felt like bursting into tears when I was alone. nnI get this feeling like I feel I'm in a daze, my head is clouded up and little things are blown out of proportion and I don't want it to affect other people.nnWhat do I do?
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Firstly, I think that it would be a good idea if you talked to a doctor or therapist about it and get a proper diagnosis. Secondly, I think that honesty is the best place to start. If your friends don't understand or won't even try to understand your then those people probably won't be good for you. In my experience it's only an additional pressure being surrounded by people who don't accept or understand my SA.
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I used to be so social and outgoing, I'm not shy I just don't have the thoughts to know what to say, I think it's become some sort of defence mechanism, I've shut down my mind for so long and I've lost my social ability. I struggle to pay attention and comprehend what people say, and then I never know what to say back because my thoughts just aren't there. , I haven't felt myself in so long and I just want to be more social and fun again. I barely have a sense of humour? I cant remember conversations from earlier in the day and I feel I can't rely on my brain to remember things in general, if I try hard enough I can think of long term memories but short terms are struggling. I miss being confident. I could go to a party and know nobody yet I'd met people and make new friends so simply but now I'm just quiet and awkward background noise I guess? My brain shuts down. Please turn on. I'm not depressed or shy I don't think, Im just stressed and overwhelmed with myself because I don't want to be like this anymore and I'm struggling to figure out how to change that. I haven't been myself in so long, year to be exact. Before I came to Canada, that's why I miss home, I miss feeling myself because I had so much thoughts and was full of life and had heaps of friends, heck I was even quite popular. I never thought this could happen to menWhat I think the reasons are include the amount of weed use consumed. I don't react well to weed because I've always just seen it as a substance that will make my mind blank and relaxed, I never really socialized on weed I'd always just zone out constantly and idk put on something to watch? But the thing is, unlike others I never really sobered up after getting high, others would feel sober after a couple hours but I'd feel high (zoned out and mind blank) until I went to sleep. And since I did so much weed I always just had that blank mind. That factor also didn't really let me deal with all the big changes happening in my life, like how I moved to Canada, I couldn't have the thoughts with myself to learn how to deal with it. I can't even learn anymore because I just forget majority of the things I'm told. Another factor I think led me to all this was the person I travelled with, he was the only person who I would argue with at home. Weird how I chose to travel with him, there was originally going to be another person Ben coming with us but he bailed because of a girl. I was so upset because of this because he managed to balance us out really well. So before I came to Canada since I don't like confrontation and fighting I told myself something is going to have to change to make all this work smoothly. Wish I didn't do that. Because me being a bit of a softy just ended up doing whatever my travel partner wanted to do, in a way it sort of made him walk all over me, but I just lost the ability to have my own good ideas and thoughts it feels? I've usually always been one to just go with the flow but I've let this go too far. He loves the power. And he is so difficult to deal with because he always gets so fired up and touchy over such small things which shouldn't even be a problem. Since I've been in this situation for so long now its given me social anxiety. My mind has shut down because I've been behaving apprehensively and I know it's a defence mechanism also known as foggy brain or difficulty thinking anxiety. I wouldn't want to say anything to upset him simply because I didn't want to deal with the drama and I thought whatever I said would just aggravate him. So that and the mixture of weed and somewhere the big change of coming to another country, getting dropped in the deep end and having to learn how to be an adult and survive has created this.... I just want my mental clarity to come back because I'm going to work at a summer camp soon with kids and I need to be able to talk to everyone. Right now I struggle so bad to have thoughts. Even talking to people it's usually just automatic responses like
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It's so relieving hearing that I'm not alone in this. Thank you for your advice I appreciate it, I think I definitely need to try and make small Improvements day by day instead of just riding it out mindlessly. It's crazy how they say weed prevents anxiety when it can literally create and amplify it. But I'm so glad to hear it gets better!
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Whenever I talk I feel like im coming off as emotionless I never able to make jokes,tell good stories, and my face also feels emotionless. At work I just stopped and avoid talking to others about stuff that isnt work related. But if im put in a spot I will try to talk but like right from the start I'm looking for a way out
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I've yet to find any. Even if people recognize I'm joking they usually still roll their eyes or they'll just chuckle and never have much to do with me.
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So, a few days ago my best friend's dad passed away because of a heart attack. He's very shy and introverted and suffers from social anxiety. I've tried calling him once but he immediately hung up after a few seconds of small talk. I really don't have any idea how do I approach him now or should I even approach him or not. We also can't meet irl because of covid. How can I help him while not scaring ot hurting him?
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Sending a card and/or food would be really nice. My best friend and her mother both sent me wind chimes (separately) after my grandmother passed away, and I appreciated that. Your friend will approach you back when he's ready.
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I realized when I was deleting most of my whisper posts that they often complain about things going on in my life. I'm trying to find ways to cope with my anxiety because it's ruining my life. I can't work because of it and I want to get back on my feet. Meds haven't worked on me. nnDoes anyone have advice?
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Can you site a specific example? Don't leave out any details.
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I don't feel good. Every morning it hurts. Day 6 of antidepressants (Paxil 10mg) and I don't even know if I should keep taking it. I'm hurting. Constant racing thoughts and worry. Heart pounding, restless, twitching. Just want to hide. Just want it all to go away. I wasn't like this before. Why is this happening to me. I feel like I'm dying. I'm only 37, and everything is too much right now. I gotta get it together. Is anxiety curable? If I keep taking the medication will it make me worse or will I eventually be able to wake up and feel good again?
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I'm so sorry , I'm going through the same thing currently, the latest few days and I totally get it , my thoughts are with you ! If you need to talk you can message me
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I am drunk as fuck fight now. I hate myself because of my condition. I am crying right now. My friends area asking why but I don't want to even bother explaining
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Drinking won't help you in the long term.nnWhen you sober up, sadly, you may feel even worse.nnTalking about it may make you feel better. And life is never as bad as you think, our brains just like to always think the worst!
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa my heart is going 2 hundred miles an hour I wanna give up aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BRO nnwhy is anxiety like, holding your breath and giving yourself very little breathing room and your legs just to floppy
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A bit like me, useless
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I don't know what to do. Every time my friends want to do something I feel dread. Hell sometimes just talking to them gives me an uneasy feeling. nI hate it! It's like at the moment I'm all hyped to see them. Then the closer it comes to happening all the anxious feelings/dread come out. That in itself scares me. These are the people I care about. They are the few I've chosen to be in my life. Yet here I am pushing them away. nI say I'll go and then I cancel, or they call and I don't call back. They want to see me. I fear seeing them. It's not like I won't have a good time. I usually do when I'm with them. It's just something in me tries to convince me I won't. nLately, it seems like that
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Yeah, that's all really good ideas. My friends aren't really social. We all end up feeling drained if we're out to long. So it works out. nnThey are really understanding. I'm sure they would love it if I invited them out or suggested things to do. I guess I just haven't quite beat my anxiety.
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I had a phone interview for a job today, and right off the bat within less than a minute into the call, she said to me, “are you a confident person? You seem shy”.nnThis is so fucking disappointing because I'm usually way more comfortable speaking on the phone than in person and I hate that I got called out like that when I try so hard to exude confidence and not show how shy and awkward I am. nnI hate that all everyone sees in me is a shy person. And I hate that the main reason I won't get this job (or any other job in the future) is because I'm shy and there's nothing I can do about it. Because no matter how much I fake it, apparently people can still see through it.
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My biggest grudge is when you think you had a good conversation that went both ways, and you acted like an extrovert, and then they say, you are quiet. It's like bruh, even when I'm trying I'm not good enough????? It just baffles me how people notice
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I was attacked an hour ago! While waiting for the police how can I come! I have a disabled little sister and my door doesn't lock! Iv called 99@
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I hope you are OK now. Sorry to hear this.
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For me: nn- Having a jobnn- Living on my own and being independentnn- Having friends (just a few, I don't care for a large circle)nn- Love and romance
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Having a car. Having friends. Having a partner. Having a life.
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Is it okay to say my dog is my ONLY friend?. I'm a 23F with no friends what so ever. Dating life? dosen't even exist. The only closest friend I can think of was when I was in high school, we separated when graduation came around. Yeah I have family but some things I cant tell them. I talk to myself more than often now. More than a person should talk to themselves. It hard talking to people and having them think you're weird and sht. My social anxiety have gotten worst. Thank goodness for online ordering. All I have to do is pick up my food and talk to no one. I guess that doesn't really help me finding friends. But I need to learn how to communicate with people first.
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No I haven't
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I freaking hate my life because i have social anxiety and agoraphobia...nnI have great difficulties in leaving my house and having social interactions which leaves me broke mentally and financially. I am afraid that I will never have my own life and have to leech off my parents even though I have a Bachelors in Business Information Systems with a GPA of 3.2. nnI also have interest in pursuing a masters degree in this field but my social problems destroy my self esteem and the loneliness (yes I have 0.00 friends) leaves my hopeless and with suicidal thoughts...nnAm I the only one with these problem? am I retarded? Why do I have this burden to deal with?
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Im 17 and i also have social anxiety because of my acne and how i interact, didnt go to school this year cause i was afraid meeting new people.. it just sucks man.. its killing me aswell that ive been single for the rest of my life..
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Everytime I want to talk to someone, a voice inside my head tells me that the person will not want to listen + will get bored in a few seconds of hearing my voice. nnI don't know if it's true or not :/ or just my anxiety messing around with me. nnI just want to love myself and not be afraid to talk to anyone. I also become afraid that I might piss someone off or make them mad. nnHow can I put myself first?
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ud83eudd17
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I love that I am kind, happy, encouraging and warm toward myself. This allows me to be all of those things to others.
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You must not fish for reactions. You may only give off the vibe you choose to give off and then hope for the best. Detach yourself from the outcome. You are not to fish for validating reactions.
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Hey guys and girls, I would love to know if there has been any legal nootropic substance or supplement that significantly helped you with Social Anxiety. By significantly I mean something that was far over placebo and not subtle but very recognizable. By helping with Social Anxiety I mean anxiolytic effects making one more clear-headed, talkative, social and open/extroverted during social events or conversations.nnAnd thanks for any suggestions but please don't tell me to got to a therapist (I already do) or try the medicinal way as I already tried 2 depth psychological therapies, 1 behavioral therapy I'm doing at the moment and about 8 pharmaceuticals (SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOI: moclobemide, Tricyclic: Amitriptyline).nnThis Social Anxiety thing is the biggest source of my depression as not going outside, having TRUE friendships, relationships, nice conversations and having anxiety most of the time really fucks with my self esteem. There are no success moments with this mental illness, only the contrary.
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Worsens my depression and social anxiety
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Could be even longer tbh. I turn 20 tommorow and I feel so sad. I'm no longer in my teens. Had no meaningful high school or college experiences. Ate lunch with the guidance counsellors, went home alone afterwards and stayed in my room. I'm heartbroken but I'm so numb to it all I can't even feel anything. I just want a change in my life. Seems like too much to change. I'm just sad.
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Hey bud it's okay. It's happened to me many times. Your birthday is your
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ud83dude09
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Great! Now do it a hundred more times until it feels like no big deal.
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Hi:,) so i just came on here. Because ive noticed. And ive been noticing for like YEARS now. That i get incredibly anxious while talking to people. Its been a thing , and it gets better and sometimes it gets worse. Last weekend i hung out with some friends and i just felt really detached like idk how to make conversation, its hard to laugh at what they laugh at and i rather wanted to be alone. Today i hung out in the car with a friend and one of her friends. The whole time, it was a good vibe but i feel super anxious while talking to them. Like super shaky and my hearts racing. Kind of like im on meth LOL. Just so sped because of how anxious i am. Its frustrating because i want to be able to branch out and meet new people and just enjoy myself but its so stressful doing so. I genuinely feel fear to just TALK to people. Like the act itself intimidates me. I know i can be really social, and im not awkward mostly! It still scares me however. And my thoughts will race after talking to them, kind of rummaging through the experience to i guess make sure im ok!! Any tips??:( i just find it hard to just be, when im conversing.
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Also this really helped me appreciate the fact that im not alone in this:-)
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I would like to talk to a stranger who dont know me personally about a topic which kinda scares me, but Im not comfortable talking about this in a thread
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DM me if you want, I am here.
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So I'm at a social gathering right now (Christmas Eve, smh) and I uhh drank a decent amount of whiskey. Now I'm really sleepy, and definitely less talkative than I'd normally be >.<
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that happens to me when i didn't get enough sleep
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curious. I feel like I'm the only teen here
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15 but to all the 40y/o I'm glad to see it doesn't get better
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I'm in my 2nd year of university and 99% of the time I'm on my own. I don't really have any close friends on my course and I had to live with random people this year because I didn't make any friends last year to stay with... so I don't like my housemates either. I feel like the only person at uni without friends. Almost everyone is with at least one other person all the time and it makes me feel so lonely and pathetic. I don't know what to do :( I just stay in my room every night. So much for uni being the most exciting time of your life. It's too far into the year to meet new people and I'm incredibly awkward anyway so I'm rubbish at that. I just want to cry.... :'(
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Well, I joined one, which is an investment society but it's not really that interesting and I don't know anyone there. Not many societies interest me tbh :(
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Im 17M and all my life i was like this. I have friends to hang out with and friends at school too but when girls join our group i become very shy and anxious and sometimes my friends make fun of me for this. This worsened even more a year ago when i took a lot of benzos at school and my teacher noticed and they called the ambulance on me in front of everyone. Since then i heard a lot of girls make fun of me behind my back and most of them even avoid me. I feel like my social anxiety increased a lot since then and im in a depressing mood most of the time.
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How did the teacher notice you took a bunch of benzos?nnSorry that happened buddy
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curious. I feel like I'm the only teen here
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34
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idrk how to explain this but i feel like I'm going crazy ni keep having existential thoughts and it comes in waves (I'll try to explain this the best way I can) for example: ni keep pondering like myself and why I am my own self and not in somebody else's body or conscious. or like we don't actually have a conscious and control of ourselves and it's just someone making a game and we're in the game or something.nit's really hard to explain and it sounds crazy when I try to explain it cause it doesn't make sense.ni just keep having these weird out of the ordinary thoughts and it's making me question my sanity nidk what to do i feel like I'm screwed and I'm just crazy now.
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Its not that I just scare myself with these random thoughts
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I'm very socially anxious. I have tried everything I could to get rid of my anxiety but it just won't leave me.nnI have hard time doing littlest of the things. Whenever I try to talk with people 2 things happen :nn1) My goddamn face! The discomfort that I'm facing while talking gets so visible on my face that it's embarrassing. People think I'm stupid.nn2) My thoughts, they get so scattered that I find it hard to piece together to make a meaningful sentence. Sometimes, I even forget what i was trying to say?!nnIt's impacting my life a lot. I can't talk properly to people, Can't ask questions in class, Phone calls renders me catatonic, Waiters make me sweat. How the hell do I overcome all this? Can It even be overcome?nnDid anyone used to be the same but now is alright? How did it happen?
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I have tried making small interactions by going out to family functions etc. But every time I go out.. I come back REALLY drained. It really lowers my morale for making efforts the next time. Sometimes I just feel like I'm not made up for any social interactions.nnAnd the supplements, how far were/are they able to help you?
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Hi everyone, hope things are going well for you.nnI don't know if this is the right place to post this. Recently I've been finding it difficult to leave the house. I used to force myself to go out because I had to walk the dog but now that I don't have that responsibility I'm really struggling. nnI feel dumb about the way I look, my hair has gone curly and I love it and think it's really cute but I know it's not trendy and I'm terrified of being made fun of. It looks nerdy I guess.nnI'm insecure about my skin too. I visited my gran a while back and she loudly announced
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You're welcome, I'm glad :)
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I just went out with 3 of my classmates and my anxiety wasn't that bad at all and I actually had a great time!! i'm really proud of myself, just thought I'd share lol
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thank you!!
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As the title says, I have no more social anxiety. nnI spent 20 years of my life being afraid of social interactions (in particular going to parties, clubs etc.)nnI decided to visit a psychiatrist because the situation was hopeless; Just 2 months of low dose paroxetine and now I'm a different person. Never think that your anxiety cannot be cured.
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Do we have keep taking them or can we stop after a while ?
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I have three different treatments for my social anxiety and depression and nothing changes, I feel worse every day.nnI feel my body tired, I just want to sleep and not wake up.
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I'm pretty sure the problem is with me, those people I mentioned are great and I'd love to be closer to them, but my mind overthinks everything and I try not to get too close
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Today I was supposed to do a presentation with a classmate in front of the whole class. Unfortunately she was sick and even worse she had all the material we needed to present. My teacher made it clear that if we did not present today, we'd get a 0.nDespite everything, I decided to present!nI was unprepared, awkward and had no idea what I was going to do but I walked up there, in front of the whole class and presented all by myself.nI spoke clearly and I didn't stumble on any words, my palms didn't sweat and even my heart rate was calm.nOnce I finished, I sat back down and realised what I had just done.nI'm honestly in more shock about how calm I was rather than doing a surprise presentation by myself.nnI'm so proud of myself right now and I can't believe I've come so far. We can do this!!!
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I love this, good for you!!
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It's like a switch is turned off and I don't give a single fuck about sounding weird or awkward. Anyone else have this?
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In that case, it might be easier for you to talk to people because of the fact that isnt a face-to-face exchange. nnI am the same way, in that regard. Speaking with someone face-to-face is really nerve-racking and anxiety inducing for me, especiAlly strangers. Though I don't usually like conversing with people by talking, it would be much easier for me to do so when I cannot see them or am not in their presence. nnDo you have trouble with making eye contact with people in person?
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I've suffered with anxiety since 2018 and lately I'm feeling worse than ever. I started taking medicine but stopped because it didn't work for me and I had terrible symptoms with the drug reaction. I wouldn't want it to be an option to take a drug, but the way I am, I don't think there's a way out. My routine isn't helping me much either and definitely not being on my phone all day.nnCould anyone share experiences on how to change routine, adapt medication and if at some point this could just turn out to be a bad memory of our lives. Sometimes I feel like I have no future or any chance to feel good again.
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Thank you so much for saying that! Warms my heart!
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I had a great childhood, great friends and a very loving family. I've always been around people who want nothing but good things for me. However I am starting to get socially anxious as I age. I am 24 right now and struggling to fit in and make new connections. What could be the reason? nI thought social anxiety was the symptom of rough childhood and lack of social interaction during childhood.
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What thoughts (fears) go through your head when trying to make connections?
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Long story short: (26M) I've been on therapy and mess from 2013-2015. My last med was Zoloft (sertraline) wich apparently made me go hypomania. I'm off meds and therapy for 6 months.nnThen, the tickets for a huge show of a band were selling. And I never went to a concert before. I don't even know 2 songs of the band, but still I wanted to buy! (maniac alert u26a0).nnAnd now.. 4 months later, the concert is tomorrow, and in a scale from 0 to 10, my desire to go is (minus) - 7 :/ (due to depression, anxiety, social anxiety). Unfortunately, I bought this to go together with a friend. I think I just can't go, since she wouldn't want to go by herself.nnAnyone relate? It is making me miserable the idea to go. Sometimes I think I should go nonetheless, this way I wouldn't be scaping and let the anxiety wins. Help me think through please
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Thanks! nThat makes sense. I never realized, but most of my anxiety may come from this idea if being
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I'm super shy around my husbands family to the point where I used to not greet them when I came into the room. My husband told me they pulled him to the side and told him That it comes off rude that I didn't speak that much. I'm not a rude or arrogant person so I had to gain enough courage to start speaking because I also care a lot about what people think of me. I'm really shy but I don't want my character to be tarnished. To me I felt like it was so ignorant of them to say that because they have no idea what mental stress I go through to even be in their house. It hurt my feelings but I also don't want to be ignorant myself and purposely continue to not speak. Am I wrong for thinking that ? Let me know if this makes sense too. I have a hard time articulating my thoughts sometimes
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I'm talking from personal experience and from seeing this happen to others:nn1) It is reasonable for someone who has no exposure to social anxiety to think the person is being rude. That is valid. nn2) It is 100% okay to be shy and as you are. This is valid. nn3) Sometimes two truths can exist simultaneous and both be correct. nnNow, how does this help you? You don't need to change. I want to make that super clear. You don't have to change anything. But it may be beneficial if you, or your husband, finds a way to tell them that you love them but are just shy. nnPersonally, I have texted people before and said “Listen, this is embarrassing and hard to tell you but I have some anxiety challenges I'm working through. You mean a lot to me and I will never have the words to totally express how much you mean. But I want to tell you that I'm anxious and shy so that you know it's not about you. And in fact, if you want, you could help me with this challenge.” Everyone has responded saying things like “don't worry!” Or “I had absolutely no idea. I appreciate you sharing this with me.”nnI also have situations where my parents will tell someone “listen, Sam is a shy person but he is extremely caring about you. Go easy.”nnI have had situations where the person doesn't understand and thinks I'm rude. That is their choice and reflective of themselves, not me. nnAnd I've had some incredibly beautiful moments where people know instantly how I feel- they can recognize it - and they are so incredibly gracious to me to let me know it's okay. nnBut at the end of the day, you don't have to change. You just be you.nnnEdit: in case you like animals, I have found dogs are very therapeutic for this. They have amazing insight into body language, and can pick up immediately if you are nervous.
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so when i was on a google meet i cringed so hard and had severe depression for a week because in science class i unmuted and said yeah in a ill sick sounding voice. it was so bad, the teacher asked are you okay? i hate myself. and as long as i have this problem always will.
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I've been told countless times that I whisper when I talk (it sounds and feels normal to me) and that I'm monotonous. I'm very insecure about it.
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I'm looking to join or start a small Discord group of people that are like me with social anxiety.nnI'm the type of person to post in subreddits and ask to meet new people but if I don't get any replies in 30mins, I'll delete it. I have an urge in me to meet new people of any nationality, race, religion, sexuality but I'm fucked with SA lolnnI know if people have the same struggles it will be easier. It's just over the years of having SA, i've drifted away from my friends, I watch YT a lot and see loads of them having fun with groups of there online friends and im sick of being so isolated, I want that! I've had loads of friends in real life but I would like a close nit group of online friend to chill/chat/game anything with.nnIf you feel like this, lets do this :) I know it's hard but do you want to stay like this forever?nnBTW I'll understand if sometimes you don't want to talk of play games or anything I'll understand it because remember I'm just like you.nnPeace outnnMat1c :)nn&#x200B;nnEdit: I'm not going to delete this till some of you join me, One message can lead to a long term friendship. JUST DO IT lol
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sure. one of the replies here says there's one already so i'll hop on there and check it out.
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So, I MC'ed an event on campus today and from the feedback I received, I did great, but I'm confused now Are there stages to social anxiety? Far as I can remember, I've never had problems presenting projects as long as I prepared for them, and this was my first time being an MC, but I was able to keep my composure and even add in humour on the fly. nnDespite this, I still feel anxious in normal social situations. The thought of walking up to another person and striking up a conversation or even answering a question during lectures just brings up this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I end up thinking of what to say so much that I usually don't say anything at all. Then there's also the mindset that anyone I talk to is going to respond negatively despite it not being so in the rare occasions when I actually do it. nnI don't get why this feeling never goes away. I don't get why I can stand in front of crowds and say whatever I've got to say and even make up things on the fly, but I find it very difficult walking up to a lone person and doing the same thing. I had a course mate tell me after the program, that she never knew I could actually talk like that. nnIt should be easy talking to a new person, I see others do so all the time, but it's just so hard for me, and no matter how many times I try, that anxious feeling about getting everything right never goes away. nnAre there stages to this disorder?
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Respectfully I disagree with you about it not being a disorder. My social anxiety isn't who I am, it's a problem that gets in the way of me being who I am. It ruins lives. It feels wrong to say its not a disorder cause in a way it minimises the struggle. I know I'll always have my social anxiety but it's very slowly getting a lot better and I hope one day to barely notice it. If me and a lot of other people thought we couldn't at least somewhat cure our social anxiety, we wouldn't continue living
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My therapist said that I need to go on meds cauz she think it can help me a lot..nnDoes anyone here have experience with it??
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It just made my mood somewhat better, had more physical energy, a slight improvement in enjoyment and it made me more motivated. But nothing spectacularly, just a partial improvement.
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My best friend has a hard time processing her breakup. She is still trying to repair the relationship while also coping with the situation. He is facing huge financial crisis and doesn't want to invite her to his life anymore. It seems like he moved on. But unfortunately my friend can't. She loved him a lot and given waay too much importance to him. She even planned till all of their future like kids and retirement. Even named their girl and started cherishing the imaginary child. Now all of it is gone with him. And i don't know how she's handling all these. She stil tries to talk to him(through social media). She is talking like nothing happened and he hardly ever responds and even if he responds it feels like talking to a stranger. She loves him with no bounds and that turned back on her and hurting her. She is stuck and unable to move on. I stopped asking her to stop all contacts with him. If she breaks all contact she is like in a psychic state. She is calm when seen in person. But she has some problems when alone. She lost interest in studies but is also performs satisfactory in tests. It is like she is deeply sad on one side and functions normally on the other. Even if i do nothing she may recover from this. But I'm afraid of that part of that sad part of her. How can i help her with this situation. And also I'm a guy
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I think this can work. It makes me really sad that i can do nothing to help her. I'll try this one. Thanks
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(“ “ are my inner conversations)nn3…2…1 GO!nnChorkiewonders dropped off at busy mallnn“Uh oh.. people — if I avoid eye contact I'm invisible….wait, no that's worse.” nnNow walking to: Unspecified Checkpointnn“Okay what do I do?”n“Um- enter a store you dumb fucking bitch, you don't want people seeing what a clueless, lost retard you are.”nnNow walking to: Nearest Store ntn“Wow, you chose Lululemon of all places. Lol better face the consequences.” nnBeginning: Sweating, Trembling, Paranoiann“Look at you—nYou don't deserve to shop at such an expensive store, take a look at your crusty ass hoodie and unkempt hair. Well too bad. You can't turn back now because if you do, the sales associate and literally everyone else will realize that your change of decision is because of how poor you are. Keep moving, you indecisive idiot.”nnAttempting to browse through clothes despite lack of focus and blurry visionnn“Focus! You already looked through that overpriced ‘TikTok Clean Girl' section. Ugh just browse a little longer; pretend to be interested in this (actually kinda cute) top, and stop ogling at the price tag you cheapo, you came here to shop not judge the price, you don't wanna look poor– shit, the sales associate is heading towards you. You're sweating and you stink, you pig.”nnAssociate passes by, smiles and goes elsewherennHeart RacingnnSmiles Backnn“What the fuck was that? n“Hey, I dodged most of it!n“Um bitch— did you stop to think that perhaps your makeup resembles that of a sweaty middle school art teacher and you scared them off— HEY! DON'T YOU DARE look in the mirror you narcissistic attention seeker. Great, now your stench is lingering around the store. What are you? A skunk in heat? LEAVE.”nnLeaving: LululemonnnHeading to: Bathroomnn Wipes sweat and washes facenn“I can't take this shit anymore. I'm too ugly and I stink. But, I'm hungry T_T God forbid I eat in front of a soul. I'm leaving.”n“Good, you're saving them from taking a look at your Shrek ass devouring that poor, wasted food. You never deserved to be here, anyways. Skedaddle, bitch <3”nn“Fair enough.”nnNow Leaving: MallnnENDnnSad that it is always like this for me.
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It actually hurts to read how much you don't love yourself in your inner monologue…
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Iam unable to play football anymore because when i receive ball , i just get those mild anxiety attacks.nanyone feeling same or did anyone overcame this....
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I had that problem destroy me for 5 years
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what the actual fucknnhe literally called me over and told me for christmas he'll get me new pantsnnim so confused bro santas mean
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As a Seasonal Santa myself, I can assure you that was mean spirited. Santa looks at a persons inner spirit, not their clothes.
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I'm a 16 yo girl.nnMy best friend is having a birthday party in two days and I'm really scared I'll embarrass myself. nHer, my cousin and I are really close friends, so she invited us and another 7 girls from her school.nnI met her friends once already but this time it's different because my depression got a lot worse and so did my social anxiety. My confidence is low and I don't see people a lot because of COVID. So I'm scared I won't know how to act.nnAlso I'm really anxious about anything that comes with dancing since I really don't know how to dance and I always sit weirdly at parties and look at everyone else dance.nI tried so many times to just let myself relax and dance but I can't do it. Idk what to do.nnAlso my cousin might not come to the party and then I'll be much more insecure because I'll be the only u201cstrangeru201d.nMy bsf's friends are really nice but I'm too insecure to be able to have fun.nnI'm scared it would be too hard for me to fake a smile (I'm really depressed, like really. But I can't not go to my best friend's birthday party) nHow can I be with them and act like nothing is wrong with me?nnWhat should I do?
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I will talk to them. nThank you:)
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a week ago i went to a psychiatrist appointment to finally be diagnosed with anxiety and hopefully medicated. I paid 140$ on two packs of pills that i need to take after breakfast, now the trouble begins. I can never sleep as early as i would wish and i end up waking up in random hours of my day, so i end up not taking the pills at the right time, which can be innefective or even dangerous. also from waking up late i can't do the online classes or the homework i need to do, causing me to dread about it the whole day and never actually doing anything, which end up making me feeling like a irresponsible waste of time who should die off.
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Me and you will get through this! Weak people give up but we are born to be fighters
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Well, I've been out of work since 2016. I was sick for a year or two. I've applied for a few jobs and had a few interviews in the past couple years. I'm 53 now, and these are just low wage menial jobs I guess they'd rather hire young people for, though sometimes you see older people at them too. Someone just replied on email,
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It's not embarrassing but truth be told, it's rough out there and you need to put away the mindset that being too honest and truthful will do you any good. Maybe not outright lie, but don't shoot yourself in the foot either. As someone in the /r/learnprogramming subreddit once said:
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I'm not sure if this fits under social anxiety but I always live in fear that I am going to be robbed when I am in public so I never by my self expensive items. How do I stop this?
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Not necessarily. Where are you from though? Can you identify what might cause this? Are you frail? Do you live in a crappy neighborhood?
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What victories have you achieved while struggling with anxiety/depression/bipolar/anything related? Whether it's waking up without panicking one day out of the week, or finally getting out of bed to go for a walk, or seeing friends? Big or small. Let's feel proud of ourselves. Please share your experience. Whatever you're going through, I believe you can get through it.
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Repost from r/anxiety but felt it was relevantnnI've had depression and anxiety for years. Depression tells me no one could care what i have to say.nAnxiety tells me there is no way i'll ever write well enough to be worth reading.nnThe last 6 months have been really really tough.nThe winter and moving and exhaustion from covid, a medical diagnosis...i don't know what else. It's been tough. Thinking about it makes me feel like dust.nnI signed up for a poetry class at the uni i work for (staff get free credits and i felt anxious about not using them). I debated dropping the class four or five times. In fact last week i was still thinking about quitting.nnThe anxiety over how I'd feel if I quit was stronger than the lack of motivation to do anything. Thanks anxiety!nnSubmitted my poem and had my first critique today.nnFive people made a point to come up to me after class to tell me they loved it. FIVE! In a pandemic where everyone is masked. nnMy instructor summoned me up to her after class (very nerve wracking) and asked me if i publish or submit my writing (I was seriously flustered by this). She thanked me for starting a conversation.nnMy poem was about racism, cultural appropriation and assimilation. Other POC in class spoke up about their experiences of it.nnClassmates told me they'd been inspired by my poem to research some of the references.nnI'm still floating. Like what if I am good enough to be a writer? I mean, i write for work now, but my words serve other people. What if they could speak what i want to say, and people actually listened?nnI'm not fixed obviously. I'll never be fixed. I'm still anxious as hell about the deadline for 9 pieces of writing that are due for work. I'm anxious my workmates will find out I'm a worthless procrastinator and can't bring myself to write more than 2 hrs on a good day. I'm up at 2:30 am doomscrolling about Ukraine.nnBut i wanted to mark this small victory, to which i was carried as much by lack of momentum as by effort. I wanted to tell other people who suffer things like this that you will still shine some days, despite our all-wrong world, despite threat of war, despite indifference and interminable winter. Despite despite despite....
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So basically I'm an 18M and haven't really ever had a female friend, not like I've purposely put it off but I've just never been in I situation where it would come to be. nnAs a result 9 times out of 10 when I'm speaking to a girl (I don't just mean romantically, like as in speaking to them period) I won't know what to say this is almost always a girl who'd be around my age. nnI'd consider myself pretty confident generally when it comes to speaking to most strangers but when it's a girl around my age I just have no idea what to say and as a result just blurt out anything and everything I could think of resulting in not very thought out conversation which sometimes can actually just lead to offending them from what I've said all just to fill the void that is the silence between words.nnAny tips GREATLY appreciated as I went on a date not too long ago where all the above happened to me and it was quite possibly the worst day of my life. Thanks
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I feel like it's ironic that I'm on the opposite side of this with the same issue… wish I had more to help but I simply don't know either lol
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Just private message me your details, or any other contact details that you would rather me have, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. I am doing this because I know it could really help some people out, including myself :)
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PM me! Maybe we can eventually get into a group talk.
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Hello all, nnMy significant other just sent me an explicit of video of himself cheating on me and I snapped. I am driving until I don't recognize anything anymore, not a single sign or person or place. I don't know if I am going to regret disappearing. I am clearly not a a very calm state of mind right now but I just don't have anybody to talk to and I can't clear my mind. Reddit is the last place I thought I would go but I guess I just really need advice on what to do.
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I cry daily, sometimes often... it will not hurt you, it is how you really feel and we are meant to express all our emotions, not bury them. Have faith, you will be better by the time this is all through.
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Whenever I try to interact with literally anybody my friends always pull me aside to say something like u201cThey think your awkward/weird, stop itu201d. They call me stupid because I always trip up on my words and I stutter a lot or just don't speak coherently even though I really try. To make things worse, i'm going to prom tomorrow and I'm absolutely terrified because I don't know anyone there at all. The person I'm going with goes to another school so I'm gonna be around complete strangers for 5+ hours. Now that I think about it I regret even thinking about going to prom. I thought it'd be a good step in the right direction to get out of my comfort zone but I know I'm gonna screw something up.
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if i had friends that said things like that it would make me sooo much more anxious. i think they suck personally
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Anyone else expeirenced this?
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I also was a fucking supernova of outgoing energy, now I can't even maintain a conversation.
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TW: embarrassing talk about women's privates and bullying nnnnI get bullied by women alot and this is why I only have male friends. But today I asked on a women's support group, why guys haven't gone down on me much in the past. I am clean and healthy downstairs and I've even been to a doctor to ask. They said it's all perfectly healthy. nnI don't shave though but I trim. And people I've dated do not care one bit, they don't shave down there ether. But I'm told it's gross and discusting and the reason guys don't do it is because of this. ..nnNow they are saying it must be because I stink or my downstairs must look
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Not all guys are down with giving oral sex. Some guys absolutely love it.
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Hey, I'm trying to make friends online because I often feel lonely and disconnected from most people in my life, but I am not sure if Reddit is a good place for that. What would y'all suggest? Not sure if this is the best thread to post about this, but I do experience SA on a level that limits my ability to really get close to people irl. Thank you!
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maybe 1. online games - even if u know one person who plays a game , play with them they might introduce you to their other friends.nn2.discord - just join a server related to something u like and just talk to people there.
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I know we all have to go through this but I still feel incredibly bad about it.nI'm a 20 yo with depression, living both a toxic household and a stressful work environment. I'm going to explode soon I feel.nHow would you advice meeting new people in real life? I know that's especially difficult in this period but still worth trying I guess...
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https://youtube.com/channel/UChhYXp6anAwvnerg0hJMPGA
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I always feel like I'm lazy or that I just need to suck it up. Like, everybody else seems so have no big problem with coming to work daily, so why do I?
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It's really sad that people hope they get covid just for time off. I tested positive and I was relieved for time off. That's messed up. The only other advice I'd give you is to search for a new job. Maybe it's time for a change of scenery. I'd also advise a therapist. I'm looking into it.
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349k in this sub alone! why in real life I seem like I'm the only one who have social anxiety?
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Due to social anxiety I feel like I've missed out on life such as opportunities for growth and joy. I created boundaries and restrictions to not go places or enjoy or put myself in those situations to learn something new or explore the world. I feel such a loser. Seriously for real, I hate anxiety and low self esteem. Why can't I just be normal. sorry
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I've always had social anxiety and felt awkward in conversations, afraid I'll say something embarrassing or inappropriate and not realize. I have a regular group of friends that hangs out on Saturday nights in my friends backyard and have a few beers/joke around etc. nMy one friend brought me to these hangouts that's how I met everyone else there. When I first started coming I was very shy and never spoke just laughed along with other peoples jokes and sat listening to others talk. Recently I have really come out of my shell after getting comfortable with the group, i find things in common with people there and make great jokes where they laugh and enjoy my company overall. I feel really proud of myself for learning how to relax and enjoy social interaction. nLast weekend my joy kind of got shattered because I was in the middle of telling a story to someone beside me and then one of the other group members (that I like a lot and really connected with) said out loud “ Jesus you talk a lot”. I was so caught off guard I didn't really say anything and just kind of shrugged. nI felt my stomach sink and I was so embarrassed thinking I've been talking too much and annoying people. I didn't say a word the rest of the night and just felt like shit. I even kind of cried about it when I got home because I'm overly sensitive and cry about a lot of silly things in my life. nI guess I'm just looking for advice on how to know if I'm talking too much and if anyone in this sub has experienced the same. Also, how do I stop feeling so horrible about someone telling me that? I can't stop overthinking it and being sad. The guy who said it might have just meant it playfully but idk. Thanks for reading my long post!
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I sometimes talk a lot in comfortable spaces, and when I told my therapists that I'm insecure about it she said: “For someone who usually isolates themselves and keeps everything inside, it makes sense for you to have a lot to say when you finally get into comfortable spaces.” It rationalized that tendency for me and I'm no longer super insecure about it. There was a reason I became a chatter box in certain spaces, because I could finally be me. Maybe this is the same for you.nnI do check myself when I feel like I'm doing too much, sometimes I laugh it off, and I leave room for others to take over the conversation. And I have also been told to my face multiple times that I talk too much or even get over excited. But if that's who you are why be ashamed, when you're not hurting anyone. As long as you're not cutting people off when they are speaking and you leave room for others to engage as well, then keep being you.nnAlso the person might not have meant it as an insult and if they did that's there problem because there are other people who would love to hear what you have to say, even if you talk a lot.
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Well, what can i say? It's lonely day like any other day. Another day of being different, alone, awkward. I hope
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Happy birthday
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I'm currently a junior in high school and our winter formal is coming up next Saturday. This is the first dance i'm ever going to and I'm going with
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Wear a lot of deodorant and be who you are man! So what if you're a little awkward? So what if they've seen you walking around alone? So what? Stop reading minds. Don't worry about what they think of you. You're probably being irrational. And just chill about the other stuff. Just buy a new shirt if you need to. Not a big deal. Embrace it man.
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I have never belonged to any friend group or had any real friends and in college I was being so awkward that people have started to ignore me. That is what usually happens and I have accepted that as my life. The truth is no one cares. They may act all friendly at first but it all goes away. At the end of the day, no one gives a shit about me and that is fine. I don't need them to accommodate me and they don't owe me anything. No one owes anyone anything. All friendships are fake and a complete illusion.
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damn man im in the same mindset sucks so much I missed opportunities and coming to realisation of the place I am in my life, friendless, lonely and suffering.
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As in, the most likely to trigger one's anxiety
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Any customer service job
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nhttps://www.mind-diagnostics.org/social_anxiety-test?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_m&utm_term=social%20anxiety%20test_e&utm_content=85545497963&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=e&utm_campaign=7208757594&ad_type=mind-diagnostics&adposition=&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7oyNBhDiARIsADtGRZYVuhEjSyK-6TV10Ecs8xiPaoB6bwNfGgJ00p5JxwJ68XyXXnCxIngaAhJGEALw_wcBnnnFound a SA test not sure it's that good , wondering what everyone would score
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26/72 I'm slowly getting over my general anxiety. Just certain social situations causes me to be a bit awkward.
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Basically what I said in the title !nnPeople push themselves into situations again and again in an attempt to lessen the anxiety but it doesn't work because the underlying psychology hasn't been changed. nnYou have to change how you view yourself and how you think people will view you in a specific situation in order to have sustained improvements. And you do that by collecting evidence that people do accept you.
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I agree 100 percent! I have social anxiety and I have noticed once I did CBT and changing the way I think first made social situations easier. I know for me the deep fear of judgment really held me back and trying exposure without CBT wasn't the best idea because after a social interaction I would deeply analyze every little thing. It was only until I changed therapists that she made me realize how flawed my thought patterns were. She gave me worksheets with questions to ask myself and those were life-changing. Some days are still a little hard but I have gotten a whole lot better ever since I started tackling the underlying and unhelpful thought patterns. And when I feel like I am going into my old thinking ways I pull out my worksheets and fill them out.
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Hello good humans -nnWell, it's almost a month into a nervous breakdown for me, which has seen me completely unable to work, most says unable to leave the house, and some days unable to eat anything or sleep. nnI had a bad reaction to trying an SSRI pill (Celexa 40mg, which I'd been on previously a few years ago and quit fine), which caused a massive panic attack that instead of my normal attacks (I've had panic disorder for my whole adult life, more than 20 years) lasted days on end, just starting and re-starting. That of course led me to take my ‘as needed' prescribed benzo (been prescribed .5mg of Klonopin for the past month, have previously had a script for that a few years ago as well and barely ever touched it until this month) just a bit whenever it got too incredibly bad, but still, that's got me freaked out that now my body's hooked on that as well, as I stopped completely 4 days ago and these terrible anxiety surges haven't gone anywhere. In fact, after a relatively ‘good' day in all of this yesterday, I'm back hiding in a room, pacing back and forth from all the emotional and physical pain and unable to eat, shower, etc. nnSo, needless to say, I'm scared. More scared of this than I've ever been of just about anything in my whole life, and I don't really know where to turn or how I'm going to make it. My psychiatrist just said ‘well, just take a smaller dose', but that sounds like ridiculously bad advice given what's happened since last time, benzo recovery sites say I'm basically screwed and I can choose to reinstate the drug at a tiny bit to see if I stabilize but it might make me worse, and antidepressant survivor sites say stay off of everything, or again try a little bit of the AD and see, but I am horrified. nnAnd so here I am, unsure of anything except that my nervous system is currently scared of everything but my next breath. nnSend me some hope, y'all. Have you ever had a nervous breakdown like this? What was your low with your own struggles? It's just hard to tell what is my preexisting terrible anxiety disorder / part-time agoraphobic fear doing this to me and what is (or may be) chemically-induced due to all the horror stories I've seen.nnShow me I'm not alone. Advice welcomed, personal anecdotes much appreciated. Thank God I'm not suicidal and I don't know if I'd ever be (never have been before), but I would be lying if I said there haven't been times in the past few weeks in which I told the universe it would alright by me if I didn't wake up. nnThanks for your time, all.
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Thank you so much. Bless you both.
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I've seen a few posts like this but no one messages me back, which ironically worsens my social anxiety severely. I like to help people but I get turned down alot of the time, however I am a classic overthinker. If anyone wants to talk about the good or bad in their life no matter how weird or wrong it may be, I'd love to hear it and share my thoughts. Send me a dm or comment if you're interested and if not, I wish you a wonderful, stress free day.
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I would definitely appreciate someone to talk to, my social anxiety has been driving me mad and being feel very very lonely now a days although who isn't right lol.
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My friend invited me over for dinner I said no only because I haven't seen them in a while and I'm gonna feel shy seeing them again plus they just got a new roommate so I would have to introduce myself and I'm too shy
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Hey kudos to you for getting help when you need it. I can definitely see why you would be nervous in that instance, but I hope you know that a real friend won't judge you in any way for this. Maybe it would be easier to make plans to see your friend alone first without meeting their roommate at the same time?
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Evolution works at a snails pace, and because of that our brains have yet to evolve to the surroundings we live in today. nnIf you're fortunate enough you more than likely have all the essentials to survive running water, food, shelter, clothing, etc. Physically speaking your needs are met; our problems lie in our hard-wired mental perception of safety. Social anxiety is a safety mechanism built by our brains to prevent us from being ostracized, because thousands of years ago in the past that meant certain death. In turn people like us figured it's best to just stay quiet and not rock the boat for our own survival, so if the theory holds true are brains are trash. nnFun fact: Writing this short paragraph literally took me around 45 minutes to write, and I still feel like I didn't communicate exactly what I was trying to say. FUCK SOCIAL ANXIETY!!!! I swear.
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Couldn't agree more ud83dudc4dud83cudffb you communicated it perfectly.
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TLDR: For years moods change on the flick of a switch from so happy and loving life to wanting to die, binge eat and lately been purging, finally want to get professional help, what kind of doctor should I see?nn&#x200B;nnI (F24) have struggled with mental health since high school and it comes and goes in waves. I went to my family doctor 3 times over the years saying that I feel hollow and
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nIf you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention LifelinennUSA: 18002738255nUS Crisis textline: 741741 text HOMEnnUnited Kingdom: 116 123nnTrans Lifeline (877-565-8860)nnOthers: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_linesnnhttps://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
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I suffer with GAD, OCD and BPD, recently I was invited to a party and said I would go.nBut now as the day draws closer I can't stop worrying about everything that could go wrong at it.nnI can't stop sweating and shaking and panicking, I can't get my mind off of it at all.
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you can take propranolol as well as anti depressants, and I just meant video games, take your mind off it
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I feel emotionally numb and only feel like crying , i just feel sleepy all the time and low on energy and motivation . Idk i feel extremely weird and numb . I don't enjoy anything . Sometimes i put music and dance and that's the only thing i like . Being left alone is the only thing i want rn . My exams are coming and i don't feel an inch to open my books and am not scared of failing . PLEASE HELP ME
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. Don't gaslight yourself into oblivion because your doing yourself and others a disservice by doing so.
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I've been told this before but it still hasn't happened nnI'm 26. nnI know people mean well, I even see posts like that here.nnLike people tell me I'll find love, I'll find my social circle eventually nnBut will I? I haven't so far. I have no friends or a gfnnBecause I don't believe I can overcome this anxiety sometimes . It's too much. nnI cant approach people and start talking to them. I'm awkward if they talk to me. nnThere is a strong chance I'll end up alone. Having done nothing with my lifennAnd it'll be my fault for not being strong enough to overcome thisnnHonestly I'm starting to wonder with life social anxiety is worth it nnI don't want to make people feel worsennBut for me if I cant form relationships, if I can't have love, if I can't get friends, if I can't even get a job or do well at a job then I don't know what the point is in staying alivennI don't know how I can be successful in life. I'll probably just do the bare minimum because of the anxiety. nnI'm probably just ranting. I just feel a bit hopeless
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I'm 36, still waiting.
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It's an odd piece of functionality, but in essence, I can get further in mutual understanding with another teenage boy, but I'm selective on the basis of their jock-nature. Usually if they are gentle, softly spoken and/or nerdy like me, then we will get on like a house on fire; because a huge amount of pressure is relived for where it would usually be.nnWhereas, there's a sort of middling effect with teenage girls. I have no difficulties coming to common ground with them, but no massive bonding occurs, because of the anatomical and mental differences, as well as the sexual connotations of western society for when girls and boys interact, I suspect.nnIs this simply just preferential by me, or an anxiety issue?
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Doesn't really sound like SA. Might have something to do with anxiety about being judged by others for being with a girl because of the
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I mean, if you were another person and had the opportunity to meet the person you are right now, would you be friends with you or would your reject you?
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I legit have none. If I do, they are so minor that I might as well have none.
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and if yes, then which and how was it? i might start next month and would like to hear you guys' experiences.
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i honestly feel like it could help me but i'm too nervous to even go to therapy or to see a doctor. one time when i was 14 i had my mom take me to see a therapist but i got nervous and asked to go home once we got there. just about had a full blown anxiety attack when i walked into the office and met the lady. i wish i wasn't so afraid of getting help because i know i'm not giving myself my best chance. but i always convince myself i can do it on my own and it's not serious enough to need therapy. i don't even know what i would say if i went. i'm afraid i won't know how to express myself.
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Do you all get a feeling that you're choking when you have to speak like there's something stuck in your throat omg I hate it here
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Yes totally
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This is just my experience, and honestly I'm not sure if it fits here but I don't know where else to put it. I'm not saying some girls don't have trouble getting dates off apps, I'm just saying in my opinion it's a lot more difficult for guys to get attention. Obviously I don't have a proper point of reference because I've never been a woman though.nnI just don't understand what people want. I like to think I'm a relatively attractive guy, if a bit skinny. I'm definitely not ugly. I rarely get any attention on apps and honestly at this point they feel like a waste of time. I'm honestly just really fucking lonely and I don't know how else to meet people. I'm trying to date again after taking a month or two off from it because I had some really awful experiences. My girlfriend of almost five years, whom I loved with all my heart, left me a few months ago and I just feel so fucking lost and lonely. nnMost of the matches I do end up getting they never even bother to reply to my first message. Those that do, most stop messaging me after one or two messages. I've tried asking them out on a date early in the conversation, and I've also tried just messaging for a while to get to know them first and neither have gotten me any luck. The few people I do end up matching with and meeting haven't worked out and like I mentioned I've had some awful experiences. The ones I have met have turned out to be profoundly mentally ill, even more so than myself which I think is really saying something to be honest. I don't have any idea how to meet people in real life so this feels like my only option but it just doesn't work out. If you have any advice feel free to share, I guess I just need to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. It just makes me sad and I'm afraid I'll be alone forever.
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Now try Grindr
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Well, at least i tried..
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Whoever said this is not your friend if they can't offer ANY constructive feedback
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I went on a date with a girl I really like, but in the end when she expected me to kiss her I just walked away and said something like 'hit me up' (why tho???). I was so damn anxious and tried to text her afterwards but she ghosted me (understandably). I regret the whole date because of that even tho it was fun in the beginning.nnAnyone else feels like dating and relationships are just no option because of SA? This sucks so much.
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That
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I've attempted to work on my SA for awhile, for approximately a decade give or take. Going to therapy and group therapy helped, and taking meds/nootropics accelerated my progress, so I haven't really started this process at a “baseline”, but it's still been helpful. nnSo I've started making “socializing/interacting” an everyday and weekly habit and check it off on a habit chart and try to build streaks. Everyday I try to make eye contact/smile at/say hi/good morning/how are you to as many ppl as possible (not everyone all the time but I try), I try to not avoid or ignore anyone (a habitual anxious behavior of mine, where I used to go to great lengths to avoid others), try to have at least one full conversation, and I try to meet as many new ppl in a week as possible. Could be 1, could be 2, could be 5, I don't have a set amount except for maybe at least one person. And study social skills (going on reddit, using a workbook, read books/articles, watch videos etc).nnAnd I set goals each week. This week my goals are: initiate a conversation first, bcus it's usually the other person that does, and meet at least one new person. Then everyday I write notes and highlights abt my interactions and write a reflection every week to gauge where I need to improve.nnI've also set challenges for myself and fill out a “pyramid” w/levels 1-10, visualizing my progress, from easiest to hardest, where the bottom is making eye contact, making small talk etc, and the top are things like networking, asking someone out, talking to a higher up/high profile person/authority figure (think ceo, director, celeb/artist etc). nnI've started doing this for abt 5 wks approximately and have been seeing big improvements bcus I can actually SEE my progress, whereas before I relied more on having sort of a vague feeling of getting better, now I KNOW I'm getting better.nnJust thought I'd share bcus it wasn't rly something I've tried consistently, and thought it may be an interesting new approach if nothing else has worked :)
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youre welcome i encourage stealing!
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This might be more of a rant but I think at least half of my usual anxiety is due to financial insecurity. I can't work because I am disabled so I receive disability checks and food stamps. It's enough for me to get by but 80% of it goes to rent and bills. I haven't been able to buy something for myself in years. Though it's not the ideal situation, I made the best of what I could.nnRecently, my food stamps case was closed due to no fault of my own. I am not financially independent and the staff at the residence I live at were responsible for the recertification but it was never done for some reason. Travel expenses and essentials budget are nonexistent since it all went to food but even then, it wasn't enough. A few of my friends sent me some money and after me refunding it and them resending it multiple times, I finally accepted it and went food shopping with the money. I've lied to my friends since then that I'll be good for the month because even though it might sound weird, I don't want them to send me more money.nnAt this point, I only have a few days worth of food left (if I only eat once a day) and no money. Because of this, I've been perpetually anxious since yesterday. This time, none of my coping skills seemed to work and I've broken down many times. Whenever I break down, I find that I can't stop crying for a long time and it's gotten to a level where I've started screaming whilst I sob without me realizing it. I also have many bruises on my forehead from banging my head on the wall in frustration which I don't realize I do until after the fact.nnI have never had anxiety this bad to the point where I become hysterical and I don't know what to do anymore. A big part of my anxiety recently is me being afraid of breaking down again. It usually results in more bruises and a sore throat which I don't want either of. I'm usually able to manage my anxiety but not this time. It's so much more intense and it scares me.nnJust some emotional support and/or advice would be welcome. I really don't know where else to turn to for emotional support especially since I don't want to worry my friends and I am NC with my family.
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Hello Friend.nnI am very sorry that you are in this situation. It sounds pretty dire. nnFor now, I can only help you through comforting words and maybe some advice.nnFirst things first though. nn**Can you mail/ contact the authorities to regain your checks and food stamps?** nn**If Yes**: I would suggest that you somehow dig in for the next month or so, if buy borrowing money from your friends helps you survive, then it's okay. I know you don't want to borrow money or get financial help from your friends, but right now, your survival should be the top priority. nnAnd trust me, no one will think lesser of you for it. If they are offering on their own accord and you don't even have to ask for it, that usually means they care. I hope this does not sound like conjecture, it's just my personal experience. nn**If No:** Can I ask what kind of living facilities you are in currently? Does the government/or any other NGO offer immediate help? If this is to get back on your feet please do check your resources. nnSecondly:nn**Worrying only means you suffer twice- Someone once said**nnI know counterproductive right? You've probably heard this kinda rhetoric too many times. You being in your spot with your anxiety head, this doesn't help at all. You gotta worry about food, money, shelter, and everything else.nnBut the thing is, life will unfold eventually no matter what you worry about. Isn't that a bit *counterproductive*? nnI have an anxiety brain. Horrible anxiety brain. I get stuck up in thoughts for hours, days, weeks, and months. I don't know how to stop. But sayings like the one above are something I can hopefully aspire to. Because honestly, why worry about things if things will happen anyway? nnI can maybe learn to accept it and try to find a solution. That is the only way out. nnLastly:nnI don't know what kind of a disability you have had. I don't know how hard a life you've led either. And something coming from a random person on the internet probably doesn't mean much. nnBut I kinda believe in you. And it's not cause I want to make you feel better. It's more to do with that you doing better makes me feel better. That you and I and everyone else that feels wronged, neglected, hurt, harmed, and alone are not the eternal deservers of the pain we have. nnThe path ahead looks dangerous. But don't hurt yourself. It doesn't help no? Hitting your head will only hinder progress, you need to look for another solution, using your head. nnThings look anxiety-ridden but don't ponder too much upon them. It still doesn't help. nnIf you ever want to talk more in detail or share. I can lend you an ear. This fight is not yours alone to fight in your head. Maybe I can't be there physically to pick you up when you fall down. nnBut I will be rooting for you all the way. nn**Broken people are the loveliest to be around, for they know how much it hurts to live.** nn**Good Luck!**
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Hello everyone since I'm new to this community I thought it would be nice for me to share my journey with mental health to show people that it may seem bleak right now, but there's hope. nnBack when I was in school, I was bullied relentlessly. I'm talking verbal, psychical, psychological, you name it. I was liked by very little people, maybe for my appearance, or what I liked. I'm not sure. At that time I had no idea why, but looking back at it now I can see that may have been the trigger of what was to come. nnThe bullying continued all the way through primary school, into high school where the torment only grew. I was singled out almost immediately by bullies mainly this time to my social awkwardness, and my lack of talent when it came to sports. Also like in primary school, I was picked on for what I found interesting; I.e motorsport, my favourite football team etc. I did have people start to back me up, but the damage was already done by then. nnI had regular meetings with my head of year, and was sort of protected in a way, which on paper sounded nice but only made me more of a target. This meant I was under a microscope on social media too; anything I said or did was ripped apart by bullies and was then made the subject of my torment the next day. This continued for 5 years. nnAfter I left high school it die down a little, mainly because my bullies moved on with their lives and left me alone but that didn't mean the torment was over. Far from it. nnAfter I left high school, I decided to get some help for whatever was going on with me. I was quickly diagnosed with chronic depression and was put on some hefty medication which I'm still on to this day. About a year or so after I was diagnosed I did something profoundly stupid; I harmed myself. I cut my arms with a razor and was told sternly by my mother that that was the first and only time it would happen otherwise I would live in a psychiatric hospital for the foreseeable future. Luckily that was the last time to date I have harmed myself with a sharp object. nnFor the next few years it was fairly quiet, just ordinary life stuff. But in comes my next problem; my step dad. Now my step dad on the whole is a good man, he works hard, cooks for us, cares for my mum etc but he had one big flaw. He was an alcoholic. When he drank he went from being a father figure, to being a monster. He was loud, abusive, and sometimes violent when he had too many and he sometimes took it out on me. He's shoved me, verbally and psychologically abused me when he was drunk, and did the same to my mum to the point where recently we all couldn't take it anymore and are moving out; leaving him behind. nnOn top of all that, I have one big fear in my life and that is working. I don't know what it is that scares me so much about work, leaving home?, leaving my mum?, going into the unknown?, doing something I don't have alot of experience with? Who knows. I'm currently doing well, but still have a long way to go. nnI hope my story helps anyone struggling with life right now, and always remember that harming yourself or wanting to die is not the way to go. Speak to someone. Could be a stranger, friend, work colleague, mum or dad, sibling, hell even your Teddy bear! I do it all the time! Or maybe your imaginary friend! nnYou're bloody amazing and have a lot to live for. Rock on
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Thank you for sharing, and I did notice you are not requesting any advice. Forgive me, because as I read your story I saw a lot of myself in you. We both carry abuse trauma and it is crippling. If you are interested in knowing how to overcome each of your triggers, please ask and I will share what I have learned.
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After 10 years of avoiding, breaking down, negative self-talk, and missing out on life, I've started working a full time job, having deep and personal conversations with people, and it also turns out I'm pretty outgoing. It took a lot of undoing of negative thought patterns and habits to get here and I'd love to assist anyone on their road of self-discovery. I had no idea that this is the person I was underneath all the social anxiety and I love getting to know myself more and more every day
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Congrats!!! That is so awesome that you are able to see the awesome you, underneath all those layers ud83dude0a What is even better about this message is your willingness to continue to help those who are struggling with the very problems you faced.nnYou are one amazing person, I must say ud83dudc96ud83dudc96ud83dude00
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or you cant go insidennim not vaccinated because i dont know how and i dont want to schedule an appointment and go and see a doctor to get vaccinated, and I don't want anyone to see that Im not vaccinated because at this point if you don't have the vaccine people think you're a lunatic or an idiot. If i could get vaccinated without having to leave my apartment I would.nnnow i dont know what to do
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My personal health is just fine. Thanks for asking. I have been fully vaccinated since April when I got my johnson and johnson vaccine. I got the vaccine because I am considerate of other people in society and don't just care about myself. Telling me to look in the mirror when you can't get a safe/effective vaccine that helps stop the spread/mutation of a virus that has killed 700,000+ people just in the United States. Ignorant fuck.
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For example, today I made a few mistakes at work that got my manager upset with me. (I had a question about how to do something, but they were talking to someone and I didn't want to interrupt. So I was waiting and they were like why are you just standing there) It's not anything major, so there isn't any reason to think about it further. And yet the situation keeps repeating in my head and I keep cringing at it. Have you guys found any good ways to stop awkward situations from repeating in your head? I know that most of you guys have this problem too, so you'll probably be the experts at keeping this problem at bay haha
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I've found mantra recitation helpful for these sort of intrusive thoughts.
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How can I actually help my mental health. I feel like I've been a downward spiral recently due to covid and then other life events. I came back up for a bit but then the holidays hit me hard. It wasn't the same and it was very challenging. I feel depressed again. How do I continually take care of myself and feel okay?nnI know there are things I can do. I like to: journal, therapy, read, do yoga, meditate, exercise, play music, and be outside. However, sometimes no matter if I do do that I still feel awful. I also have a phone addiction that I need to stop but I can't. I've tried the time limits. I've tried the black and white color. I've tried everything but it's my biggest coping mechanism. What do I do. I need some help and guidance.nnI also feel like I burden people and especially my partner feels overwhelmed. I want to be able to take care of myself. Also book recommendations or podcasts would be nice.
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I have a Uke! I just don't want to do anything but pick up my phone because it's easy and rewarding. But while trying out a hobby I know I could mess up :( so why try to do that and possibly fail
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The only time I've been able to use the urinal is if no one else is in the bathroom, if someone walks in , I can't go and pretend like I'm finished.nnThis sucks so much when your busting and there's no cubicles.nnThe worst is drug testing for work - I literally just couldnt go and they let me do it without being watched.nnAny tips for using the urinal with SA?
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Yeah I'll use them if I'm drunk lol
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