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I'm in an engineering design class and we were put into groups. I've gotten pretty far when it comes to group work, but things seem to be getting kind of difficult for me again.nnI was put into the position of the
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Ah. Even so a student presentation isn't the best place to spitball ideas, although I don't say that with admonishment. nnYou're welcome btw.
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Anything positive?
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I feel like people get what they get with us. nA lot of extroverted/ non-SA people need time to warm up to people just like we do but they also may seem disingenuous at times because they value quantity over quality when it comes to connecting with others.
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When I'm at school I always have a feeling everyone is watching my every move and judging me. I'm afraid to get out of my seat in class because I feel like everyone would look at me. I can't even ask the teacher a question or answer a question because everyone could hear what I say and if I get the question wrong I would make an idiot of myself. In sport I always refuse to participate because I never know what I'm doing, I'm scared I'll screw up Infront of the whole class and having people depend on me while playing team games really stresses me out. Like a lot. Even just sitting there in class minding my own business I still get freaked out and think everyones watching. I start thinking maybe I'm sitting funny and everyone can see it, or I think maybe there's something on my shirt and I haven't noticed it. If I am late for class I don't walk in, I just skip that period to avoid everyone looking at me while I enter the classroom. Sometimes this is so bad I just don't go. Even at home I feel like this, I get scared people can see through my camera and watch me. I always feel weird if someone looks at me or stares at me. Is this normal? Is there any strategies I could do to help this?
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Feel like this all my life only it has gotten way worse lately. I even get that panicky feeling whil i stop at red lights and feel people from other cars are watching and judging. It has started manifesting physically too, i get shakey amd weird, and go in a self feeding loop. It is driving me nuts. Been having an immense ammount of stress lately and it has exacerbated the whole damn experience.
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i think I parked crooked asf too and I don't want them to put a face too the person who's always parking crooked (I stay in my lines) anddddd ITS HOT ASF nI've been in here for too long already and once I walk out they're gonna think I'm weird for sitting in a hot ass car nWHY WONT THEY GO INSIDE ALREADYnnUpdate: I'm inside now , I just said fuck it , plus I'm hungry
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Window cleaners are worse you have to duck and roll and hope they don't see you
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This year alone I've dealt with multiple family deaths, a break up, health scares of my own, car accidents, uncertainty about my living situation, my job is at risk due to the company trying to save money... There's more but I can't even think about it right now.nnOn top of that I've watched some of my best friends suffer break ups, losing their home, severe mental/physical health issues, and job losses.nnIt just feels like a never ending cycle of bullshit, and I'm so tired of it. I just want to go one week without bad news. I'm at a loss, I just don't know what to do any more.
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I don't. I just cry and I'm lucky to have my bf
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I never 'slided into the DMs' in my life, I am very shy and not that appealing visually.
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Genuinely think every girl I know including me would ignore that kind of message no matter what they look like lmao
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So I've been single for a few years now, I go out occasionally to do random errands but beyond that my social life is on life support. In my mid 30s, have been in one relationship but that's it. nnAny advice in getting motivation to start trying to date again? Or how to manage the anxiety? Other areas of my life have slipped because of how bad it's gotten. I know technically I'm not ready to date but would like some advice nudging me in the right direction.
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Yeah I definitely need to get a hobby going, biggest problem is apathy might actually be the worst part.
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I always have my airpod in with some kind of podcast. Not even music does the trick anymore. Anyone else?
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Sameee 100%. Foot soldier?
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Let's say my name is John. She went u201chey John!u201d And then we did an awkward dance because we went the same direction and she was like u201cwhoooaaau201d and I was like u201cahhu201d then I thought to myself u201cshit I never said hi back!u201d
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I feel like such a jerk when I don't respond...
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I just want to know how everyone's making out so far. I wanna know if anyone has had any progress with battling their social anxiety? If you want to share, how you see yourself improving, please comment because I would love to know how you're doing.nnAlso it would help others gain confidence and boost their motivation to getting better as well!
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I guess it's better than 2 years ago..nBut I can't talk in a group at all..nWhich is so bad for me.nBut at least I believe in my studies.nBut not in my social life.
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Have any of you found success supplementing with zinc? I am absolutely shocked by the difference, I have experienced after taking zinc supplements (literally night and day for myself).nnJust a little insight on myself (I am a male in my 20's, with a veggie-based diet)nnI have had social anxiety for the past 10 years of my life; every time I get on a bus or attend lectures, I have always had severe anxiety that people are judging me. During the worst cases, my body randomly goes into panic mode (fight and flight response) and I feel the need to escape the situation.nnIn my mind and most likely others with social anxiety understand that people looking at you doesn't necessarily mean that they are judging/talking crap about you, but our brains just keep flooding our minds with these negative intrusive thoughts.nnThere are likely many possible reasons for anxiety, but if you've never tried zinc supplementation you definitely should (~you have nothing to lose)! I take it with vitamin C, B6, B12, E, D as well as omega 3. I am still very shy and have difficulty looking at people in the eye, but I no longer experience the harsh anxiety that tormented my mind and I feel a drastic difference in confidence (I can actually look up now without feeling panicky/extremely anxious). I am actually able to enjoy a hike with my friends, as well as study in common areas including the library without having an anxious thought.nnI am not sure if the effects of zinc supplementation are temporary or just a result of the placebo effect (like my doctor said), but the way I feel tells me otherwise! Over the last ten years, I have been reading books on ways to cope with anxiety, trying yoga, meditation, sleeping more, but nothing has been successful in making me feel the way I am feeling now.nnEven if the effects turn out to be due to a placebo effect, I believe the time it has/will give me anxiety-free will definitely give me the chance to work on developing social skills and grasp an understanding that not everyone is judging me.nnFor everyone out there that has had similar experiences from taking zinc please share your experiences below. I will continue to provide monthly updates on the effects I am experiencing. I would love to hear your stories! nn-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------nnAlso according to research papers:nn- there are high correlations between people with anxiety and low zinc levels.nn- zinc boosts testosterone levels which may be the reason you feel more energized, confident
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Did your doctor made vitamins check up? Maybe you had just a very low level of that vitamin and that's why you feel better?
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I feel so embarrassed. it felt like my throat was closed off and i couldn't even get a word out. i feel like my bf's friends think he's weird for dating me and are probably judging him. I feel like i really embarrassed him.nnSocial anxiety is quite literally ruining my life. i don't know what to do :/ I barely have friends and talking to people is so scary to me. All my coworkers at my job have their little friend groups and im just alone. it makes me feel so lonely. i don't understand why i cant just talk to people. Everytime i have a conversation my heart starts racing and i start sweating. i don't know how to get better
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I doubt anyone thinks your boyfriend is weird for dating you. I've had friends who are more quiet at first and the most anyone ever thought was
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hey guys! i had an argument with my brother about a situation concerning social anxiety.nnlet me explain myself : there's this boy in my class, he is very shy, always alone and eating alone, never participate in classes,etc.. ni may be wrong, but im pretty sure that he has social anxiety. none day in class, my teacher was calling names (calling the roll) and the boy said u00abu00a0presentu00a0u00bb in a very shy way (not very loud) and the teacher started yelling at him because he was not loud. nni was shocked because the poor boy didn't know how to act and was probably very stressed about this. in my opinion, teachers should know that some people are very shy or worst, suffers from social anxiety. then, they shouldn't yell at people like this. nnmy brother did not agree with me. he said :u00a0u00abu00a0i think that people who suffer from social anxiety should push themselves a lot to get out of this problem, and sometimes when people yell at them, it helps them and maybe it'll push them and they will start to get out of social anxiety.u00a0u00bb nni mean.. i don't really think that's how it works, and mostly, in my opinion, it's not that easy. plus, i think that the yelling does not help at all! nnwhat do you guys think ?
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Nope, sure doesn't.
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I came here thinking Reddit would be a good place to ask questions but I've been getting some harsh responses. Any tips on how to cope with this?
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Oh this works thank you!
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For those of us who have anxiety on everything,how do you handle a lack of physical contact, or even a period of zero communication?
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I've been with my bf for 6 1/2 years with more than half of that long distance. The important things to remember are to always communicate, talk, test, skype whatever. Also, to trust one another. I always get horribly anxious when he goes out because he's the only one I feel comfortable around. You have to remember that you live separate lives. That being said, it doesn't mean you can't share your life. Talk about your days, work, school, friends, books, games, whatever you have to talk about. Finding something to do together is very important too. Listen to music, watch moves, read books together. My bf and I play video games online together. Its easy and gives you time to talk about your day as well.nnIt also helps if you have something to trigger psychical memories. On the phone, explicitly describe motions or better yet, cologne or perfume works awesome. It makes the memories so much stronger. And as always with LDR, trust your significant other.
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I'm 17 and I feel like I've wasted my high school years. They're supposed to be about making mistakes and learning about yourself right? If I was 'normal' I would have done all the fun (or stupid) things: partying, skipping class, going to places outside my house, maybe joining clubs, dating, and even just hanging out with friends would have been nice. I would have done the things I love in public: debate, dancing, musical performance, maybe acting. I would feel confident enough to experiment with makeup and hairstyles and clothing. I would have made new friends.nnBut instead, I've basically stayed the same as I was at 10 years old. Same hobbies (or lack thereof), same friends (actually just one friend), same horrible social skills, same clothing, and pretty much the same personality in general. People tell me that I'm shy and/or an introvert, but I don't want that to be me. I want to be loud and have people look at me. I want to meet people and have them like me. I want to feel worthy of love and affection, and I want to have it.nnI don't understand why I can't just be myself and live the life I want to live. I just want to feel better. I just want to feel comfortable, or at least not completely terrified. I just want to be normal, but I don't know if that will ever happen. I know I'm not supposed to thing this way, but sometimes I feel like I'm just permanently broken.nnI don't know what I want out of saying this. I guess I just want people to know that I feel like shit, even if you can't do anything about it. Sorry, and thank you for listening
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Good for you! Thank you for the encouragement :)
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i posted this in r/depressionnHi everyone, im a 19 y/o guy, it is my 3rd year in college and its alright. My grades are ok, i live with my friends because my college is far away from my home. I love my friends, everything is fine with my family that i see every 3 to 4 weeks. I got a beautiful girlfriend that i love, she's always there for me, everything is supposed to be alright. The thing is since I started college, my mental health is degrading, one year ago I got diagnosed with anxiety. I'm since then on anti-deppressant (to treat my anxiety). In the last month my mental health started degrading even more, im stuck in this loop of : feeling good, then feeling like absolute shit. the last 2 days were awful, my girlfriend and i were supposed to go hiking and take pictures but i just didnt feel good, we stayed in my appartment watching movies and the new netflix serie jeffrey dahmer (great serie!!). im just scared that my girlfriend gets pissed off of me always being up and down and eventualy just let me go. i cant stop crying for no reason, i talked to my mom about this but she aint no psychiatrist, she tried helping me the best she could but it doesnt really help. i cant stop feeling like shit, mentally and phisically, i stopped eating. always hungry but never capable of eating more than a slice of bread. I have no motivation anymore, even tho i love my classes, i love the people around me but i cant do this anymore, if someone could help me, i need someone to talk to
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Two quick things just in case - my family was NOT a mental health aware family. I spent so much time with a bad doctor and had no idea - he just kept giving me more of a pill (zoloft) that onlhy kept me from anxiety and depression in that I was a fucking zombie. So, don't assume your meds are the RIGHT meds.nnAnd research the meds. Research meds that have worked best for people based on age, weight, everything. It MIGHT not change your course, but it took me like 5 years to get a mix of meds that made me feel even remotely
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I'll get through both! Gotta force yourself to do things!
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You can do it! I second the
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I'm m(29) and this is more related to a particular girl, I already have gut wrenching anxiety. It's actually how I was able to introduce myself to her because after countless mental attempts to ask her for her number, I just came up with the idea of giving her my number on a piece of paper and asked her to call me if she wanted to. I felt like that would be the best thing for both of us considering she seems to express some anxiety also. It actually ended up working out for the short term. This was sometime last year. So after a few nights of hanging out, we would smoke and have a beer or two and just talk. But that's as far as it would ever go it never looked like she didn't want me to make an advance I just don't know how to do it anymore. I'm a single father with two kids so it's not like I haven't made the effort in my past LOL but even with all the signs in front of my face I just could not make any kind of move subtle or extreme. Not like extreme crazy just even when it looked like the moment was right I could not pull that trigger. It ended up creating a void and sadly I broke my phone that had her number in it. If I wanted during the time that we were talking I would leave notes on her porch if she wasn't home and it seemed cute at the time. And she never made a pass at me that made it seem like she didn't think it was cute also. So I left a letter on her porch saying that I had broke my phone with her number in it and to text me so I could get it back but I never received the text back from her and we kind of just fell off. We also work in the same establishment together so it's not like we didn't see each other and for a few weeks it was slightly awkward and then the nonchalant waves to each other we're starting to pick back up. And things weren't as awkward as they had been. Fast forward to today, I'm on my way out of work and I see her standing out in front so I make small conversation and on my way out she had mentioned that she was actually there to catch me on my way out. She mentioned that things got kind of weird but that I didn't do anything wrong, then she mentioned that it was going to be her last day at our job and handed me a piece of paper similar to the one I handed her the first time with her number on it and we made small talk and giggled and she said do what you want with it keep it throw it away, no don't LOL. I told her I wouldn't and I know this is a very long paragraph and thank you to anyone who has read it through but now my anxiety won't let me follow through with just sending her a simple hi. And I'm just looking for advice. Thanks to anyone again who actually stuck it through to read this I don't even know if I could have.
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Do you do anything active right now? I'm usually pretty laden with social anxiety until I exert a lot of my energy physically, but afterwards I am usually in an exhausted state where my humor comes out naturally and I can vibe with a lot of people.
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I want to socialise with people but it makes me so anxious to the point I can't get sleep and think about it all day. School makes me anxious as well in high school I used to have anxiety attacks but my mom says college is different. nnWhat do you guys think I should do?
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If it were me, I'd ease into the in person classes once you feel that you are ready for them. If possible, start with only one or two in person classes, and the rest online. But make sure you never miss a single class in person. I tried taking all in person classes and ended up failing my first semester because I was too overwhelmed by anxiety to go to class. I made up excuses why I couldn't go, but the truth is I was just too anxious. I had to work my way up to going full time in person.nnAlso, some online classes may require online presentations or webcam group work. Just know what you are getting yourself into so you don't get surprised. It's good to challenge yourself, but don't set yourself up for failure by trying to do too much too quickly.nnLastly, a therapist would be a great idea, and they'd be more qualified to give this kind of advice.
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I just got back from my friend's house and all of the sudden I feel this overwhelming feeling of sadness wash over me. nnI attended my friend's birthday gathering tonight and we were with a small group of people. There were three other people there. I felt like I couldn't connect with any of her friends and they all talked about stuff they did together or moments they shared, or things I couldn't talk about like buying a house, having kids etc, ... And I just sat there smiling. Awkwardly. I suddenly felt so sad and alone. nnI've always gotten this feeling after attending social gatherings. IDK. I felt like sharing this with someone. Why is it so hard to connect with people?
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Thank you for the tip u2661 I hope I'll find a way to deal with these situations better. I hate feeling like this.
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I'm a non-traditional student and sometimes my SA leaves me sweating, red, and having a hard time breathing even though I'm just sitting in a class listening.nnYou?
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Like Pranayama sort of, I like it. Thanks!
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I'd been on Lexapro for mild depression the last 4 years , tbh I really should've come off it as haven't been feeling great the last 18 months. Split up with GF about 2 years ago , handled it well enouhh until I bumped into her and new BF in June , I started getting real anxiety the following week, couldn't shake it off , lexapro was upped to 20mg and made me more manic. Had to come off it at that stage and started zoloft .nAfter nearly 4 months since the anxiety started I really haven't felt any relief , considering meds I'm on. Just wondering whether meds things worse and I should just let my brain heal itself.
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Thanks so much for great reply , ya I can't blame her for finishing with me but it's really thrown me sideways and the anxiety just hasn't gone away. Was wondering whether meds are the cause as I definitely never felt this bad in general about anything . Started with a therapist so hopefully we can mash out my behaviours and triggers , not sure whether I had a difficult childhood or this is just the way that I am . Very frustrating as there's a battle between the person who wants their space and the one that would love someone in their life.
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I have a 15 minute online presentation tomorrow to give to two university professors about my engineering project, but having SA is making me panic about how I should go about this.nI have created a script, which I can read on my screen while they view the PowerPoint presentation that I will be screen sharing.nI'm just wondering if it's best that I just try and read the script?nI will definitely sound like a bit of a robot, but if I don't have a script I can bet that my mind will go blank and I panic. nI will do my best to sound enthusiastic, but I've been criticised for using scripts during presentations before.nAny suggestions/words of advice to help would be appreciated! ud83dude0a
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There isn't really anything wrong with having a script as long as you're not reading it word for word. Yeah sure it may he hard to enlarge some basic ideas that you have on a script, but how about you make a script that resembles what you're gonna say word for word and try your best to get the hang of it, after that use the more general script that has only some basic ideas in case you lose your thread. Also try and fixate on a few static points in the room that you're presenting it don't make eye contact with them cause that will get you off balance. Most likely this made no sense but I hope it helps you even in the slightest
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I've always had social anxiety. Being a server for 7 years greatly helped it but then the pandemic hit. So lockdown, unemployment for a while to survive, then work from home jobs. nnI still just want to work from home. I feel I've became isolated for so long that I feel so uneasy being out in public now, even around good friends, I feel so awkward. I do work a 2nd gig every Saturday at a small restaurant as a server but even then, I have to spend like 2 hours before hand to get my anxiety down. It was never like this before.nnI've become basically wired to being alone...nnnI'm sure getting out more to reverse it is the solution but I simply can't get myself to do it
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Trying your self some small fun things to do out side of your home the require interesting with others. Look for pick up basketball games, take a class at your community center, go to a museum and talk to the staff. Doing this kind of stuff will rewire your brain to associate social interaction with positive emotions.
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Today marked 1 full year in quarantine. Before I realized the reality of the situation, I went to the grocery store once or twice, last spring. Went to the gas station maybe twice in the last 365 days.. Get everything delivered now so I don't have to leave, even for necessities.nnI live with my parents who are both highly at risk for Covid19 (dad with cancer, mom with heart disease, both overweight with various other health issues). nnI was working at a college (not teaching) when this thing started and haven't returned to work since. nnI take care of them so I can't go to work, especially at a school. Schools are germ factories. I can't go back to work until I have the vaccine. For 12 months now I've made keeping my mother & father safe my #1 priority; knowing if I got either of them sick I'd never forgive myself! My siblings (who are out of the house) would never let me forget it- and worse, I'd live with that guilt for the rest of my life! Honestly, I was terrified to even give my dad so much as a cold after his cancer treatments at the end of 2019, before covid even became a thing.nnWell. My birthday is in 4 days. I turn 29. This will be the 2nd birthday in a row that I don't celebrate because of the pandemic. Of course, the stress and isolation is not helping my anxiety/depression. Neither are money issues. Plus now I've become a full blown germaphobe. Scared of everything and everyone.nnApparently, unless I'm elderly or a teacher I don't get the vaccine, period. Not if I'm a caretaker, not if I have at-risk parents I live with, not if I can't return to work until I get one. Which will be hopefullyyy.. May..?nnI just wish there was a better way, a different option.. I know this probably sounds so bratty and selfish, and I know people are in way worse positions. I'm just.... idk. Im clearly not okay. This is a horrible feeling. Happy birthday to me.
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We can get through this. I lived alone since my country declared quarantine/lockdown last year. Never went out except for groceries. Now, I feel hopeless because the cases in my country keep on rising. But this pandemic isn't our fault. We didn't want it to happen, nobody expected it to happen. For now, all we can do is wait. Happy birthday! Here for u if u need someone to talk to!
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So disappointed in myself for writing this. My anxiety is consuming me so much so I can barely function. I lost the love of my life as a result of addiction and selfishness and each day is getting harder and harder. Just started a 9 hour shift at work and I don't know how I'm going to get through it without having a complete breakdown. I feel like I don't even want to be alive and have reoccurring dreams/thoughts about cutting myself and an image in my head of myself laying in a pool of blood in my flat. I don't know if I can do this.
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It will be okay, you are stronger than you know. Take one small step at a time, you will get through this.
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Its not because of medication or drugs. Sometimes I just don't feel scared socializing. One moment ill be sweating bullets when talking to and or in front of people, the next moment im talking like i dont have SA
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Yes but only with people much older than me (who are not related to me)
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I sweat a lot when I get especially nervous - palms clam up, pits get kinda moist, but nothing is as awkward, as embarrassing, and as nerve-wracking as ass sweat.nnWhenever I wear shorts or pants that aren't jeans, and am in a situation that causes me to become nervous (Read: most situations), a wet spot begins to form right near where the crack is....And then I notice my ass sweating and become nervous that people are going to see it so that of course makes me sweat more and it's just a vicious cycle.nnI need something that will fix this. I try to dress decently so I don't want to wear my 2 pairs of jeans or sweatpants or black athletic shorts every day. I feel like that'd get obvious after a certain point, anyway. I've tried wearing 2 or even 3 pairs of underwear, I've tried baby powder, talcum powder, fucking deodorant, CertainDri, nothing works.nnAnyone have any experience with/tips about this? At this point I'm seriously considering finding a way to buy beta blockers online or something.
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Do you have access to health care? A doctor would probably be willing to let you try a beta blocker right off the bat. There are also prescription antiperspirants that come in an alcohol solution that might work. Adult diapers maybe? I used to work at an assisted living for old people and nobody could tell which residents were wearing them.
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The saddest thing - time passes and it does not care at all.. to recompensate .. or anything.. I have gotten chances, to recoup, butnnJust like that the story repeats itself over and over.. you keep trying, but it takes over.nnit has taken up to my last strand or will every and each time. how long will this keep going? forever? if so I dont want this
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then I would say keep trying ,changing therapist.. till u find one that works
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Covid has normalized people wanting to get as far away as possible from each other (at least where I live). So here's a list of stuff I appreciate: n- 2 meter distance. Finally some personal spacen- all the contactless options for delivery! I no longer have to panic about picking up my order or wondering if the delivery dude thinks I'm weird n- work from home option (if you can). No more chit chat, no more u201cwhat were you up to this weekendu201d , no more office parties etcn- people not sitting next to me on the bus!!! nnAdd your own list in the comments!
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100%!! I also use the u201cI think I might be getting sick. Don't wanna risk itu201d
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Have You Found A SSRI/SNRI To Be Helpful For SOCIAL ANXIETY?nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/pmsr8q)
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It's different for everyone of course but zoloft changed my life. I also take trazodone at night for insomnia but it's had the added benefit of giving small extra boost against anxiety, as it's a serotonin modulator.nnFor me, the thing they help with is the
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Along with social anxiety, I suffer from selective mutism as well. I no longer go to therapy bc I believe only I can help myself..so I gave myself the task to join video calls with my online friends so I can talk on the spot and just learn how to sound out words. So far we had two sessions and both didn't go well..barely talked at all and found myself silent when everyone else was talking. I feel like I don't have anything to say (when I do) or afraid I sound weird. They're really patient so far but I feel that they might become impatient or think I'm weird…seriously hate myself for being like this
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You should try therapy again! It can be so so helpful, and doing it alone you can risk overloading yourself—effectively doing too much too soon and reinforcing your fears. At the very least it can give you a safe space to decompress these feelings of anxiety about the calls!
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Tonight for example...just got back from work. I was incredibly anxious on the way home because I felt like I have no one to hangout with on a Friday night and that I'll never be successful with the opposite sex. What makes it sting worse is that I live in a big city, where new friends and women are abundant.nn
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Yes. I don't drink alcohol because I'm on a diet since I need to lose the damn weight, but I recently obtained xanax blotters. I have no clue whether it works, though. I also have adderall which makes me feel so goddamn happy and social. OMG, the first time I tried adderall was so magical. No more depression, maximum focus, and motivated to do everything! I even walked to the library and went out to buy stuff (lol). When it wears off, though, back to being :-( nnI also have beta blockers. I tried 5-htp supplementation while I was a senior in high school. I think it helped? I was doing that in conjunction with dieting and exercising though so I don't know if those combination reduced my anxieties or not.
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I know that you don't know me, but if you need someone to talk to about anything that you're going through, you can message me. I am 31 years old, current military, and have dealt with anxiety and depression for many years. I've been through a lot of different experiences and might be able to help you.
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Weird doesn't say I have any messages
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20F always been the most anxious kid in the world. Throwing tantrums every 5 min. Meltdowns, and just being plain weird that made me to be super awkward in front of people… I am terrified of people… just the idea of having friends seems surreal.nnI believe this all comes from the fact that I wasn't given the opportunity to socialize with other kids. Always locked up at home and family friends with kids wouldn't invite me to a single sleepover.nAt school I only had one friend and the others where plain stupid and bullies from kindergarten to 10th grade (13 years with the same people, no joke).nMy parents just right off neglected my social need. No after school classes. No belonging to a club. Not going to the park. No nothing.nI would literally be in my room the whole day and I wouldn't go out of my house for the entire weekend… just me and my brother ALONE. nnThe worst part is that I talk like hell. To everyone because I just like sharing info. But then right after that I start overthinking so dang much that I cry myself to sleep because I have no freaking idea why I do that.nnI have no boundaries and although I try my best to socialize people notice right away that there's something wrong with me. When I was in high school I even started developing paranoia (and when I was in elementary school, but at this point it got worse).nnI have no idea what to do… people tell me that I'm nice but I can tell by their faces that they just wish I wasn't there… nnI'm deeply saddened and I feel stuck emotionally at 8 years old… I don't even think that I'm capable of falling in love because of my anxiety…nnI need therapy but I've gone to 8 different professionals that just made me cry and told me that life is hard and deal with it. That I was just experiencing teenage years…nnAny idea about what I could do?
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If you're an adult, how did you overcome this? I feel like I'm stuck in my ways that are partially a result of an odd upbringing.
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I had to do some public-speaking today, where I was expected to deliver a presentation in front of the class. And I messed up. I had the option to do it in front of the teacher only, but decided to take the harder route because I wanted to u201cimprove my social skillsu201d by taking myself out of my comfort zone. It was the worst decision because I initially felt so confident about it but didn't think about what would go wrong. I only managed to say a few words that came out so shaky, before I had to abruptly end the whole thing without even finishing the speech I planned. I forgot everything I had to say and I'm just so disappointed at myself. The presentation didn't last more than 30 seconds and it was actually meant to be a 3-minute one. I'm so embarrassed because mine was the WORST out of everyone's and they know it. I just need to rant because I actually thought I was starting to overcome my social anxiety but it turns out I was obviously wrong.nnEdit: Thank You so much everyone for being so supportive! It really means a lot to me!
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That's my experience also. Its now my motto for life in general
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I wish I could tell someone how insecure I am. How bad my self esteem is. How I struggle to convince myself I don't want to get married because at 19 years old I've never been asked out, complimented for my looks, hit on, and every other girl I've ever known has stories about guys not leaving her alone. It fucks me up so bad and I can't tell anyonennI wish I could tell someone how lonely I am. How I feel like the few friends I have don't care about me because they can go days ignoring any efforts I have to reach out. How I will always be the one to compromise if we come to a disagreement about something. nnI wish I could tell someone I miss my family. I wish I could tell someone I hate my body. I wish I could tell someone I'm tired of diabetes. I wish I could tell someone I'm scared of a world war. nnBut I can't because I have social anxiety and I can't talk to people. I've tried medication and it made it worse. I tried switching it and it made me more depressed. I tried exercising but I'm so self conscious the whole time I get stressed out. I tried therapy but I'm too scared to open up to my therapist at all. I tried a different therapist and it's still the same. I just say that I worry about stuff. I don't say that I hate myself, that I'm scared my future is going nowhere, that I don't know what the fuck I'll do after college because I have no interest in my major. I'm convinced they're judging me. Even if I want to speak up and be honest it's like I physically can't. And then I lay awake at night for hours overthinking everything I did or didn't say. The position I sat in. The outfit I wore. nnI can't talk to anyone and it's fucking lonely. And I can't ask for help. I can't fix it. I'm stuck. And I feel so stupid because it would be so easy to fix it. I just have to find anyone half trustworthy and say words. And I can't. And then some days I think it'd be easier to just kill myself, but people would judge me for that too. I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life because I know I'm still young. I have so much ahead of me. And I dread it all because I'm fucking lonely.
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Me too !!
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One problem I've been having is muscle tension and posture during social interactions. When people talk to me my neck and shoulders go stiff. It's so bad that my head occasionally twitches and can hardly move. This only happens with people I just met or people who don't know me well. nnI have tried many things to fix this including neck circles and slow breaths. I've also tried to keep my mind off my physical presence, but when I do I end up slouching. nnAny advice helps. Thanks :)
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Thanks for this! I'll keep this in mind. :)
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It seems like 90% of my class mates do part time jobs and like ig it's the social norm for a 15+ to work part time and pay for their own clothes etc. I literally was not introduced to this 'social norm' until i entered 6th form so it was a bit of a shock for me, also because i have severe social anxiety so it's tough for me to go out and look for a job. On top of that my parents are really selfish about spending their money on me and my brother so they're really pressured for us to get our own income lmao. The work culture here seems so depressing cuz ik alot of young workers get exploited by their employers and they either work way too much for a part time or they dont get paid enough, that is soo not appealing to me. But i'm 18 now and soon to start uni so i wldnt mind doing work but i just wanted to ask if it is weird that i've wld be starting so late.
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Allowance? Nah I did chores and helped around the house to be able to eat lol
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when i like someone and they walk near me or past me or are just around me not even talking to me my anxiety is like the worst and im like flushed and my heart starts beating fast and it gets lowkey hard to breathe is that just normal when u have a crush
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I understanding you bro.nI have it same
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So I deal with depression and anxiety, always have. My fiancé does as well, but they don't really seem to have any coping skills other than just completely shutting down. I've tried everything I can think of to help them and I've reached a point where I find myself becoming increasingly resentful. My mom died earlier this year, and a year before I lost my childhood home. I've done my best to keep myself afloat, and I realize I've probably done worse than I think. I realize I've probably been stressful for them to deal with, and I feel like I've tried my best to always do what they need. But it feels like I'm always walking on eggshells. I work 3rd shift, and I've been staying up during the morning/afternoon to spend time with them, but they never want to do anything. I passed out last time, and when I woke up they were crying and saying they felt like they were wasting all of our time. And my knee jerk thought was that they are. I didn't say that, but it's been happening more and more often. We make plans, they get upset because something didn't go perfectly, I bend over backwards to fix it… it doesn't matter. They're upset, and now the trip or plans are ruined. Sometimes it takes hours to get them to come back from this. And it can happen for any reason, even something as simple as not being able to catch a certain Pokémon until later in the game. nAnd as I write this I feel angry at myself for not being more patient. I feel like an asshole for getting angry, I want to help them, I want to make sure they're okay. Sorry this is rambly, it's 3 in the morning and I'm not exactly in my right mind. If anyone has experience with this I'd love some advice. Or just someone to talk to.
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You can only do so much in the moment nI'm guaranteed it's overwhelming but you're already on the right track especially with knowing the problem. Hopefully things will get much easier for you but you've definitely got a good head on your shoulders and problems like your stepfather stealing was another part of the problem that you've been solving. nIf your fiancé is good at art then maybe that'll help them pass the time and maybe even commissions if they feel good enough to help later. nAgain, you're already on the right track and feels like the worst of it sounds over at least. nI hope your fiancé is able to get past those image issues as well so best of luck to you both getting to a much better place mentally and financially included.
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So I've never been clinically diagnosed, and I've always struggled with a couple of mental issues. I'm wondering if anyone has an idea of what's up with me.nnSymptoms includennVery big mental lowsnnEpisodes where I just kind of do weird things ex: driving for a few hours for no reason, mild self harm, and completely distancing myself from people for a few days at a time.nAlso time seems accelerated when undergoing these episodesnnFrequent panic attacksnnGoing days without sleep at a timennAnd a weird one, when I'm super tired and can't sleep, I see faces on the walls of my room when it's pitch black.nnAnyway, to anyone who can help, I really do appreciate it. I'll likely be going to get myself clinically checked out here soon that I'm finally 18
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Maybe read up on cptsd. It was hard for me to get diagnosed or find qualified therapists (in the U.S.), but it's recognized internationally.
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Well I guess I have been trying to figure out what in life is worth living for my thought are I'm full of shit I don't deserve anything I'm a bad father and loser in life so I'm just posting this because I don't have any other questions I'm just over life
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If you need to or want to i can listen? You can vent and scream and yell to be heard by someone.. Please be ok..
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I never know how to respond to that question.
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It depends on why you are quiet, either:nn“It's just the way i am. I don't like to talk a lot”nnOrnn“I talk only when it's about something relevant or necessary”
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Hello everyone I've been lurking for a little while. I'm a sufferer of anxiety in my 30s, most recently manifesting as social anxiety. It comes and goes in waves (sometimes including panic attacks in certain triggering situations). I feel a lot better and accepting of it now than maybe 6 months ago but it still slows my life down at work and outside of it. nnOne of the things that has helped me is putting myself in situations each day to be a sort of 'muscle' training and progressively ramping up the 'difficulty'. After a while though it's little difficult to 'find' situations especially as everyone's worlds are a little smaller/less going out. It's been especially useful when I know something bit is coming up - a talk that makes me nervous for example.nnWho would be up for a regular support group Zoom call?nnThe format I thought of was max 6 people per group, everyone committing to staying for 30 minutes, you say beforehand what you want the audience to do (just listen, ask questions or whatever) and you turn up and have 5 minutes practicing whatever you need to practice, then become an audience member and support the others. nnFor me I would find it super useful as a safe space with people in the same position and a way to continually 'train' when other opportunities are lacking.nnI'm happy to organise it and kick it off if people are interested and treat it like an experiment to see how useful it is.nnI'm in the UK and was thinking initially evening time UK but obviously open to anyone.nnI hope others might find this useful like I think it will be for me
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Anyone still in a group like this that can invite me? Thanks.
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I really only have been on a few dates here but I've been mainly rejected and ghosted whenever I try. Having anxiety has caused me to be really insecure about myself when I have things that are embarrassing as a guy. I am overly self conscious and I am in constant fear whenever I think about dating. I'm always relieved when I'm alone. Am I meant to be alone?
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I really do appreciate that. I don't believe that there's someone out there
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Hey bros I know I'm not alone when I say I've been feeling confused latelyit's been a rough week and Reddit is kinda nice to talk on. Keep your heads up everyone much love :D
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Sometimes it's easier to start crawling than walking, if ya know what I mean
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Long story short, I've had severe social anxiety for a long time now, and because of it my best friend may no longer be my best friend. I'm finally able to get professional help but I'm afraid it's too late. I'm pretty sad over this. I hate that I kept letting one of the closest people to me down, and our friendship is probably over because of me. I get angry thinking of every time I've bailed out on friend and family events, or just ignored them altogether. I did nothing to stop these panic attacks, or to try and silence these voices in my head telling me every negative thing about myself. At the same time I'm happy that I'm finally able to get real help. Hopefully I can repair some relationships I've ruined because of SA, only time will tell. Sorry about the rant, I really don't have anyone else to talk to about this. So my question to you all is, have you ever had a relationship/friendship ruined by SA? Did you fix it? How are you today?
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I've never lost friends due to SA. However, I have lost friends over the natural course of time...changing interests...views on life...etc. It made me sad but I know it's only natural. BECAUSE of my SA though...I have failed to make any new friends and at this point, I feel like my only real friend left is my sister. I've tried to hold on to my old friendshis as long as I could but alas, my former friends and I are too different now.
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I'll be sitting still… with that song playing in my head and the backstory to a murder case playing in my head, and the photos surrounding the murder. It's scaring the shit out of me 24 hours a day. And idk what to do. It sounds so silly but I'm genuinely terrified of those two things now… and can't stop thinking about them :(
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Maybe try listening to the song and changing the story?? What song is it anyways?nnBut you could read the lyrics and find a different meaning to them and make up a whole different story that might be comforting to you. That's the only thing I can think of maybe vent to someone about it and see a therapist on how to deal with it. Good luck
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I've started these yesterday. Diarrhea within an hour, no appetite, extremely dry mouth so I've been drinking excessive amounts of water. 2 hours sleep last night and I'm wide awake but can't really process any thoughts. Barely any anxiety though!nI know meds like this can take a few days/weeks before things settle down but just wondering what anyone else's experiences are with it. I was hoping to be back at work today but i can't really function.
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Thank you, you too!
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I look at posts people post here and they're always talking about how they have social anxiety but also places to be (parties, etc) and people to see.nnnI literally have nothing going on in my life. I go to school, ignore people and come straight home.nnnnnI just feel like this is way worse than having SA but also having a support system... it makes me feel even more like a failure because all of you people at least have SOMEONE.
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I went through several years without having a single friend. I didn't talk to anyone at school. I came straight home.nnI transferred this school year to a new school, and suddenly found myself to be the center of attention. It was mainly from a lot of guys who only liked me for my looks. However, those were my friends, I guess. It was exciting.nn4 months into the school year and I already lost the majority of those friends due to not really knowing how to maintain friendships or how to sort out problems within them. I basically spend most of my time alone again. I'm lucky enough to have found a boyfriend who claims he accepts my social anxiety (he definitely shows it, too). I don't have a single problem with him and our relationship is 100% healthy. However, I still feel self conscious from time to time about my social skills and I worry very often about losing my last friend.
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I've begun to write posts on this subreddit a number of times but have always given up on them before posting. Yesterday I spent over an hour writing one, only to delete it because of... well, social anxiety. I felt like an idiot for writing such a long post, so I'm going to make this a short one and just post it (writing this afterward, I see that I've gone way over my planned character limit, as always seems to happen).nnI'm 24/f and have had social anxiety my entire life. In the past I've been heavily against taking prescription medication of any kind (because it's 'unnatural', a scam, I wouldn't be myself, it would be a show of weakness as I should just be able to get over it myself, etc).nnHowever, I feel completely trapped lately and am beginning to consider medication again. I always thought I'd be far ahead of where I am now in life. I had high anxiety when I was a teenager, but I actually took pride in it on some level. Life was shit at the time, but I thought that eventually I'd get over it and everything would work out. But the fact that I'll be 25 soon, am still living in my parents' house, I don't have my driver's license or a job, I haven't had a friend in 10 years, and my anxiety only seems to be getting worse, shows that perhaps it isn't going to get better on its own. nnI can summon motivation to do a number of things that don't involve human interaction. I'm in school in one of the best fields for jobs and close to earning my bachelor's degree. But as soon as anything I want to do requires a hint of social interaction, I hit an insurmountable wall. I cannot even talk to my parents because I feel constant guilt and judgement from them - worse than I do from the general public.nnI can't pass someone on the sidewalk without getting extremely anxious because I feel that they're judging my every action (even though I know consciously they couldn't care less about my existence). So how can I possibly attend a job interview - an event for which I'd literally be there so that people can judge me? It's unfathomable. Even though I should be able to get a job in my field (computer science) really easily, I just can't bring myself to take any steps toward it because I'm petrified of job interviews. Memories of my mom forcing me to Starbucks interviews and how horribly those went when I was a teenager still haunt me.nnI cannot act like I feel comfortable around people even when I am. My face gives off a perpetually 'worried' look and I don't know if there's anything I can do to change that. I've been in a legitimately good mood before and people in public still ask me what's wrong, if I'm okay, or tell me that I look 'lost'. The knowledge that I always look like I'm about to cry even when I'm not only makes my anxiety far worse. I never wore makeup in the past (strange, I know, long story), but have started to wear it again just for this reason. Perhaps that is helping somewhat.nnLike most people with social anxiety, of course I was bullied in elementary school. In high school I was a ghost. I have a boyfriend (who lives in the US, I'm Canadian), but I haven't had an actual friend since I was 13 and I cannot even imagine being friends with another woman. Very short conversations have been struck up with classmates, but nothing ever 'clicks'. When I hear other people talking to one another, I can sense this sort of bond forming between them, a sense of understanding. But even when I'm trying to be friendly, my anxiety is so obvious that the person doesn't feel comfortable around me, and eventually they give up.nnThe main problem I'm struggling with now is that I want so badly to be independent, to not rely on my parents' money. I think I have a natural urge to be independent and feel as though I should be by now. I almost never talk to my family. Even walking into a room which one of my parents are in causes so much anxiety in me because I feel constant guilt, constant fear that they're going to ask me when I'm going to get my driver's license, or get a job, or why I never talk to them. They know I have anxiety, but they seem to see it as something I just need to get over, even though they aren't very social themselves and my mom has intense anxiety herself. Every so often she yells at me, has an outburst and demands to know why I don't talk to her. My anxiety gets far worse when someone is yelling at me, especially her due to all the guilt (which I won't get into now), so I just go silent, which upsets her even more. Sometimes while entering a room I'll consider saying 'hi' to her but usually can't bring myself to it, and half the time I do, she doesn't seem to hear me. The fact that she has occasional outbursts in which she's half yelling, half crying, makes her terrifying to me. I cannot have a regular conversation with her even when she seems to be in a good mood for this reason.nnI feel like I'm living in a perpetual hell. I'm trapped in my bedroom all of the time because I'm afraid to go downstairs, and that has pretty much been my life for about 10 years. I feel perpetually trapped in a teenage state of mind in which I have angst toward my parents, like I'm being held back mentally because of it, trapped in a juvenile state of dependence on my parents long after I should have been free of them. I want to get out of this house so badly, and to have financial independence, but the only way to do that would be to get a job, and I can't do that. Please don't bring up the
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Yep, whatever's right for you. No pressure. I was just repeating the info in the link, and then adding my own experience trying to eventually get myself into some form of treatment. Everyone has their own path to getting better. I know for instance that my Mom is doing very well on just medication. nnFor me the background/analysis portion of the therapy was very limited. I already kind of knew going in where a lot of my original anxiety came from. I think the most useful thing were the strategies they teach you to actively manage your anxiety in different situations. Everything seemed to be very present focused. And it was like there was someone there to help you face very specific situations in a way that's manageable for you. nnAfter a few weeks of practice, my anxiety went way down. I gained a lot of self-confidence, and I'm just able to be more positive (or at least neutral) about things. I've even had a few moments where I don't even have anxiety. And this is after years of avoiding everyone and everything. I'm still a little shocked that it's working to be honest. nnGood luck with the psychiatrist.
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Social anxiety is really a set back for me. I can never reach my potential. I see other people being so comfortable and confident in what they do. Especially when it comes to making money. Those people can have many connections that can lead them to success but I'm so drowned in my own insecurities and unconfidence that I don't make connections or be financially successful.
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Drugs isn't a bad thing. It's usually painted in a bad lightn That's why I mentioned moderation. Even coffee is a drug. Which is possibly the most famous drug out there. I know it is tiring but think of it as taking medicine for your back pain, just that it's for your brain.
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Started my first day at uni today 2nd year… the only people I managed to befriend didn't come back this year. (Overall about half the class dropped out). nnI was so anxious as I struggle to talk to new people but I made 3 new friends in my class work today as most of the class was working in groups. nnActually happy with how today went ! :) I hope everyone has a good day
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Thanks :)
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Are you hopeful that you'll get out of this ? Are you hopeful that you will be happy and normal ?nnETA- you guyyys , i asked this question looking for motivation . Wow are these responses sad .
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I have zero hope that I will ever, even if given a million lifetimes, be the type of person that society wants me to be. My hope is that in the future I just won't need to interact with society as much.
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For a long time, I thought I was the only one with anxiety, since everyone around me seemed just fine in social situations/forming friendships etc. I was actually surprised to discover so many people had this issue. Do you know why/where it comes from? Have you always had this anxiety or was there a triggering event? I always wondered if finding the root cause can help address the issue.
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Low self esteem which caused me to self isolate. Bullying which caused me to double down on previously mentioned low self esteem and my mom (though I love her)
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Social anxiety L, connection W
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LFG!
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Like maybe I do have things to say I just need space to say it? No? Ok fk you then
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Reminds me of a time when I went to a club meeting and they singled me out for being new and I tried explaining to them that I just wanted to watch and listen but they would not stop trying to get me to participate so I just walked away and went home.
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I'm 16.nnI tried so hard to get myself to work at McDonald's but it just looks horrible. Having to make friends with like 5 coworkers at once when you have 0 friends and never talk to anyone. Talking to strangers and taking their orders. Doing careful tasks in a small area all while you're physically anxious from all the stimulation. I'm just not ready for it yet.nnIs a Walmart cashier or something better? Maybe a not-mcdonalds level famous fast food chain? What do you recommend?
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Alright thanks
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Apparently I'm toxic AF. I try to be a decent person, and I let alot slide just to not get mad. It never works as intended. I always end up pissing someone off, or causing a fight, or getting myself banned. I've been isolating myself more and more just to mitigate it. I don't speak in public if I can help it, and when I do it's one word. I don't call or text my friends, I delete comments soon after making them. My opinion is a disease. A disease I'm trying not to spread. I'm only posting this as record, and to let someone know. I have nothing to live for, no family, and I'm so ugly and toxic that there's no reason for me to even talk to a girl. I'm giving up on all my hobbies as I can't share them. I'm terrified of my job because I rarely talk, and I think they hate me for being antisocial. I hate the fact that killing myself is a viable solution. I'd rather be dead than be a bad person, but not a one person sees me as
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No. We don't need to look at the bible, robot.
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I'm a 24(F) and I don't have any friends and never really been in a relationship. The kicker is I used to want this things but I'm actually comfortable where I'm at. I know it's not healthy but I'm getting used to being u201caloneu201d outside my family and a few hours I get at my job. Being around people is exhausting, I hate walking on eggshells with people. I would like to see a therapist but it's hard finding a good one that actually listens. I would have liked at least one friend but I don't see that happening as of now.
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What has been your experience with therapists so far?
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If you don't know what Italki is, it's a platform where you can book a Zoom meeting with a native speaker to practice the language you wanna learn. I've been trying to learn German but kinda really suck at it, so I booked a class with a German student who seemed nice.nnI was sooo nervous as the time of the class approached because:nn1. I don't know this person. What if we can't find anything to talk about? I can't handle awkward silences.n2. My German is not good and I'm insecure af about it. What if she gets annoyed at me? What if I can't understand her at all?nnAnyways, my heart was beating so fast as I opened Zoom but those 45 minutes passed so easily. I legit felt like crying after closing my laptop because that's how relieved I felt.nnI've been wanting to do this for the longest time because I've never spoken with a native speaker before. I'm so glad I did not cancel the class. I honestly feel so much more motivated and confident now
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nnThat's genuinely so amazing tho. I'm really, really happy for you! nnAs a native speaker, my German is trash as well for the most part, so don't worry :)
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Hello,nToday I've had some struggles with friends and argument with ex (I still didn't fully cope with the break-up) and since then I have some weird feelings. It's like I carry so much weight on my arms and I feel so much pressure on my chest and inside my head. It's difficult to do anything. I feel so alone. It's not the first time I feel like this. Last time this happened, the feeling was getting more and more intense until I started crying. Sometimes it lasts for multiple days. nWhat is it? Is it like anxiety or something? Because I don't feel afraid or nervous, I'm just exhausted and it's physically hard to do something.
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I'm sorry this is so late a reply, but it sounds like an anxiety attack. Since this is five hours after you posted, I can only hope that it's passed, and that you're feeling better now.nnAnxiety can be just as paralysing as depression, in my experience with both. I'm really sorry you're going through a tough time right now, it might be a good idea to speak to your GP if this keeps happening,they might be able to refer you to a speacialist if you're not under one already.
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First thing to say is im 27, i've had SA my whole life. I've gotten better recently as I completly alienated myself from all life till I was like 25/26, Im not petrified of going out anymore. So for first time ever I've started dating.nnI have been really struggling the past 2 months with mood, so I decided to say fuck it, and sign up to dating site. I'd much rather go out with 1 girl than a group of guys as friends. So im looking at this as a way to help get over some SA. So far its working.nnThe actually dates have been fine. The problem I have right now is dealing with between dates. I start over thinking everything I say and what a girl says. Of course, Im not letting it come through when I speak to her so Im dealing with it okay on the surface, but I wish i could just stop.... thinking so much. nnIts something I've always had with family and friends, I struggle to just chill out and think about the positives of what happened, I have to over think everything. Its like I have to analyse everything to find mistakes or negatives. Basically just anxiety.nnI need advice on how to suppress this shit. nnn
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This is great advice, usually I do the same with assignments and procrastinate, but this is a lot different because as you said, you think more rationally. Will try this!
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I'm really struggling everyone around me is actively trying to make me insane I can't sleep right now everyone that reads this is going to assume I'm over reacting but my situation is so bad I don't know what to do anymore please help
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THABK YOU WO MUCH TODAY HAS BEEN SO ESPECIALLY HARD FOR ME WND RWSDING THAT I UNDERSTAND THAT SOMEOJE CARES FOR ME THANK YOU WVERYONE IGNORES ME THANK UOU THAT IS REALLY GOOD ADVICE IVE HAD A REALLY BAD DAY. I APPRECIATE YOU!!!!!!!
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I have a nice life, the only person I rly need is luckly part of my life forever, I have a house and food which is all I ask for. I'm in online school and that has its challenges and I mean big challenges. Me being at home is causing me to get sidetracked bc of all the distractions in my house. The deadlines are absolute hell and I need to work on getting things turned in. I noticed that im fidgeting alot something that I didn't notice before quarantine started. I spend alot of my time in my room where I like it bc when I come out I see my parents who ill never see in the same way because of past trauma. I don't see alot of friends partly bc of quarantine and also cuz they just don't seem interested in hanging out with me.( honestly im kinda scared about being alone) Ive noticed I zone out alot and often think about my future like what I wanna be when im older. I'm often worried i have all these conditions which ik I could never have but the slightest little thing I do wrong emedetly makes me think I have something wrong with me either mentally or physically. nnI love talking over the phone but often find it hard to keep talking because I kinda forgot how to socialize with people. (I'm assuming bc of quarantine) but I'm done just assuming and worrying about what I might have so im leaving it up to you guys. Is it anxiety or depression? Bc honestly I don't know.
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i think its just lack of socializing just try to go out with friends maybe play an online game. you'll get through it you aren't alone. best of luck!
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Hey guys. This is my first post here on this sub. I'm new here but I've suffered with SAD for years now. I've been wanting to get a part-time job for a while. I've put it off for probably about 3 years now. I recently turned 21 and I'll be in my 4th year of college in the fall. It's just that I'm not very good in dealing with people. What if there's an angry customer or you have to work with mean coworkers? How do you guys who have a part-time job deal with people and everything else? I want to be able to support myself and lessen the load on my parents.
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Starting is always the hard part. I might look into a job at a library. Thanks for the help.
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I'm trying to come out of my shell. Everybody is loud and talking but im sitting here at the bar looking at My phone. People probably know something is wrong with me. I dont see anyone worth approaching but coming to the bar alone is a big step for me, what should I do here? I thought coming here would help me open up, last time people came up to me and.initiated conversation and when a girl gave me her number I think.she could see me shaking...
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That's great. It's hard going to social places like that alone. Going alone to bars, or clubs or concerts makes me feel nervous.nnI understand feeling like other people notice you
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ncbi web site claims:n
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For me too painful, especially the scene where he is beaten up in the train carriage. There he is, having no money, homeless, trying to get away from people - and he is beaten up as if he is hooligan or done some incredible personal damage or property damage.nI hope this did not happen in real life, that it was inserted in movie just to sprinkle drama with making it into a little bit of action movie.nn I've seen it only once, I have DVD though.
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Nothing seemed to be going right. nnHigh school had become a joke and I hated being there due to the constant bullying and received. I wasn't learning anything anyway. nnMy brother was in the hospital again for what seemed like the thousandth time due to complications with his liver transplant. nnPorn became the only outlet I had. I was too young for alcohol and weed. The guilt and shame I felt watching it began to be too much for me. nnI felt at that moment like I had let down every person in my family.nnThe guilt of my past had come down on me. Kind of like weights tied to my shoulders. nnu201cThis was it,u201d I thought to myself. The only solution to all my problems was suicide. nnOr so I believed nnI began planning it all out. Each detail on how I was going to do it. nnu201cMy family will be better off without me,u201d I thought to myself as I looked at the rope in my closet. nnI was just 16 years old. nnDarkness crept over me like a thick fog. nnI immediately began to cry. I got down on my knees and begged God to give me a reason to live. nn Nothing was working. I knew I had to get out of this thought process but I just couldn't think of reasons to live. nnThen I remembered what my mentor had said to me in a seminar I went to...nnu201cYour thoughts control your emotions your emotions control your actions and your actions control your resultsu201dnnLuckily I knew what I needed to do. nnI immediately grabbed a piece of paper and began writing all of my suicidal ideas and negative thoughts on paper. nnI wanted them out of my head because I was consumed by them. nnI took the paper in my hands and tor it up, got my shoes on, and ran a mile. nnWhat this did was create a forceful and powerful paradigm shift. Got me out of my state of mind and forced my body to move. nnLooking back to what my mentor had said, I knew that in order to change my result of committing suicide I had to change my thoughts and actions at that moment. nnI ran to change my actions and wrote down my negative thoughts to change my thoughts. nnThat night I still cried myself to sleep but I didn't do it and I was proud of myself for not going through with it. nnThe next day I admitted to my mother what had happened and she gave me that support I needed. nnI was lucky nnI had people that I could rely on. nnI had tools to help me overcome my depression. nnMost people aren't so lucky. nnSo be that person that reaches out. nnAnd if you need help. Just ask a trusted friend or family member. nnDon't give up. nnWe are all in this together!
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Good Luck
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Im pretty young and at that age where everybody is getting their first job. Whenever I meet someone they are like
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Socialising is a skill that you can learn. As soon as you adapt the mindset that you can and wan to learn it things will improve and since you're probably still under 20 you got plenty of time to figure this all out. Good luck!
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I never know what to say I just mumble generic shit until the person leaves me alone
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All my homies hate amygdala
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ERROR: type should be string, got " https://nationalsocialanxietycenter.com/liebowitz-sa-scale/nn(Apparently, the maximum value is 144. )nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/vzw8dw) " |
I got 48 even though i hate being around people i know from school
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There's a lot of talk about how psychedelics have helped people with anxiety and depression, but haven't seen much on how psychedelics have specifically impacted people with social anxiety. If tripping has helped your socially anxiety or given you an alternate look on socializing, please share I'm really curious.
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Careful you don't unintentionally scry
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So i've been seeing doctors and psychiatrist for about a year now, and tried a few different meds, lexapro made me depressed, skipped zoloft because heard it would do the same, then got hydroxyzine which didnt help, then buspirone which also didnt work.nn now i am on xanax .25mg for a month which i was hopeful that it would help from what i've heard and just seen my psychiatrist about it and told him i didnt feel much of an effect, and he said he couldnt up the dosage on that, and that all he can do is now is prescribe anti-depressants or keep xanax on .25mg and i just chose xanax.nnAnd my social anxiety is about as bad as it can get, and my psychiatrist doesnt seem to be understanding or believe me, and said i should just keep seeing therapist, and i told him i dont think thats gonna help balance out the chemicals in my brain.nnAll i want is to be on something that doesnt make me feel so shit in social situations and not having to worrying si much, feeling like a black sheep everywhere i go.nnnnTldr; wasted a year trying medications to help with crippling SAD, and now psychiatrist says cant up dosage on xanax and cant prescribe anything else other than anti depressants, and that i should just keep trying therapy.nnnPlease help, and thanks if you read this.
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i have panic attacks in certain situations, but yeah my hands might get sweaty and stuff like that too
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Man, it has been so long since this event happened must have been 8 years ago now. I was a shy teenager unsure of how talk to people and therefore very shy in social interactions. nnOn this particular youth group outing which was my last one ever I thought to myself that I would fellow some other kids around and try to get them to talk to me. Well, I guess they didn't have the same idea because after a couple hours of doing this they decided to go back to the cabin. I followed them and went into the cabin too. (It was a large cabin with enough space for 20 people, I guess you could sat it was a lodge) there was a bathroom immediately to the left after the door and bunks along the walls. Immediately after I went in their leader who was quite a bit older than me pushed me into the bathroom and then followed to pull put his knife and place it against my neck. He told me to stop following them around and if I didn't he would really
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They were kids I had known from youth group. They were distanced from me, but I saw them regularly.
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i genuinely want to die. please. i just started working at a place where there are people from the best universities and colleges in america. the best you can think of. and i got this job just through networking. everyone there is so smart and extroverted. everyone's making friends. i feel so left out. i want to cry. i feel like garbage. it's only my third fucking day out of 50. how am i going to survive. i can't. i can't. i've never wanted to die more. i talked with a lot of people today and all i learned was that i am so behind in life. i am garbage and i want to die. what do i do. what do i do.
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thank you. i appreciate it
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Well I guess I have been trying to figure out what in life is worth living for my thought are I'm full of shit I don't deserve anything I'm a bad father and loser in life so I'm just posting this because I don't have any other questions I'm just over life
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12 and coming up 10 at the end of the year
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Any recommendations?nI've been rewatching the same comfort tv shows for years (I've seen the same ones too many times :')) and I'd like to try new ones that are easy to watch, don't give you anxiety and that bring you some sort of comfortnnDoes anyone have recommendations of comfort tv shows they watch when they're depressed and can't get out of bed? nnFor an example : nGilmore girls, modern family, new girl (my favs)nGinny and georgia, never have I ever, how i met your mother nnThank you <3
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Kenny vs Spenny. nThis show made me laugh in my darkest times. It's worth a try and you might enjoy it. All the episodes are uploaded onto YouTube by the creator.
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I have read many self help books. In the moment while reading them I always felt motivated an better. But then when I put the book away and went back to real life I found that it didn't help me at all. Did self help books help you at all?nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/n0aki0)
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NOPE my anxiety is too complicated and deep rooted for the books to help, only talking to a therapist has been able to help a little bit
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And were you able to develop strategies to overcome it?nnI'm so anxious in my PhD seminars that my mind goes completely blank. No matter how much preparation I've done, I just sit there in silence.nnThis is really bad, obviously, and I need to pull myself together, and soon
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Sorry, I don't really have any strategies myself...I struggle with this, as well. I do sympathize, however
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I had a triggering moment related to seeing an abusive ex and poured my heart out to a female-support subreddit. Not sure what I was expecting, maybe support or advice? Initially it felt good to write down my story and share it but then I felt horrible. nnI got downvoted to zero and only two people responded. I was thankful for the people who responded kindly and shared their experience/advice but the pain of rejection outweighed the positive.nnCue the freakouts of what did I do wrong? Was it too long? (It was a huge wall of text) Did I sound crazy? Did they think I was lying? nnIt is not a big deal, right? Sometimes people upvote, sometimes downvote, I have seen some inoffensive posts ignored or downvoted. nnI wish I cared less what other people thought, but it hurts to be ignored when you try so hard, even on the internet.
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I get insecure when my shitpost ironic memes get downvoted let alone an actual personal story. That sucks but it's really all in our head. Nobody but us is going to remember it by tomorrow
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I do apologize if this is the wrong place for this, but I have been having a really rough couple of days, I really need an outlet.nnI am a 19 year old man, I have never had a friend, girlfriend or even a crush, I feel my life wasting away as every day passes.nn&#x200B;nnMy mom is a workaholic, and my dad is a greedy slave driver, my family owns a small business, my dad is horribly lazy (will blow his nose and refuses to even throw away the paper towel, even when the trashcan is less than 2 feet from him) and entitled.nnMy mom is extremely passive, this meant that my dad pawned off all his work on my mom while he rode around town with his brothers and dad pretending to work, my mom ended up working for the business so much that she never kept the house clean, combine this with the fact my dad is so lazy, and leaves trash literally everywhere he goes, and I grew up in a mess, I actually would clean up after myself, but I was so young I couldn't really clean up after my dad because he would also bring home junk from the business (old broken monitors, paperwork, dead computers)nnThe terrible conditions of my home gave me constant anxiety, it only got worse when my mom really leaned into her animal obsession, I assume it was a coping mechanism because of how much work she did, the house reeked like animal waste, trash everywhere, worst of all my mom would yell at me for closing the door to my bedroom (she hates walls and doors with a bloody passion, she wanted to move into a house with no rooms even)nnI only got more and more introverted, I missed out on all the fun stuff children are meant to do, I never had a crush, my social life was made all the worse because of the fact everytime I did something that was considered normal, my mom and dad both would treat me like a infant taking it's first steps, my mom and dad never approved of anything I did, they always had a remark about it, I couldn't just enjoy something, everything I enjoyed they made fun of in some way, this led to me never telling them anything I enjoyed, my mom didn't know I am a metal head for 2-3 years, my dad still doesn't know, I don't tell them because I know he'll have that stupid look of superiority and my mom will make some stupid comment about how metal was better back in her day.nnI still live with them, they promised me years ago that we'd move out to this piece of property we live on now, and build a nice house, it's been close to 4 years and not a pebble has been moved for the construction of it, instead a myriad of other projects has been opened by them, most partially completed, and left to rot, some completed, but only after about 3 revisions because my mom refused to push back against my dad's terrible ideas and designs, I was ignored every time I said something wouldn't work, because
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Well, thats quite a story friend.nnI think first of all, know that this is not your fault. Us people with anxiety tend to blame ourselves often, mostly for everything, even when we're not culpable. But you should know that the way we grow up and are raised has a direct effect on our outcome as adults. You are not to blame. Unfortunately, sometimes the people who are sworn to protect us end up hurting us more in the process.nnRegarding your home life, I would try to find a way to leave your household if you can. If the place you live isn't safe for you, then you need to try to find a way to leave. Sometimes, it might seem easier to just stay, but oftentimes, people end up falling into a deeper pit than they intended to. This is my perspective anyway, coming from a very abusive household.nnYou don't have to be alone forever though (unless you want to, which is okay because I like being alone personally). You can meet people online, find people with common interests, reach out to any and all social networks you may have (though that may not be possible for people with anxiety sometimes), or reach out to people in your community. You mentioned your faith and how that has helped you u2014 perhaps try reaching out to members of the church and get involved someway how.nnYou won't ever connect with others if you don't try. Believe me, I spent all of high school waiting for friends to be bestowed upon me, and even though I was amazing and wonderful, nobody ever came. Once I realized what I was going through, and sought the help of a psychologist, and left my parents home, things got so much better. But you have to put in that work, even if it seems daunting and uncomfortable, you have to try because believe me, nobody will save you, not even god. You have to save yourself, and I know it's harsh, but it's the truth. So go and open those doors, and no need to rush. Take your time and figure it out slowly but surely. Wishing you lots of light + love
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So at work i'm very quiet i feel like everyone thinks i'm weird but at night when i'm out with my friends i'm awkward until we get enough drinks going, then i'm the funniest guy at the table. When i'm drunk i feel like it's my true personality that i strive to be when i'm sober. But when i'm sober it's like anxiety is just a dark cloud over me. I hate it so much
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Yeah they call it liquid balls haha. It sucks
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Just wondering what people on the sub reddit believe caused their social anxiety. I am 33 and much better than I used to be but there is still that thing within me that compares myself to others and feels really awkward in social situations.nnSo my parents split when I was 3 and I was an only child. I always had joint custody from the get go, so I would spend weekends with my dad, often just the two of us (until he got a girlfriend when I was 10) and also with my grandparents. So therefore I never really socialised with kids my own age out of school and having no siblings I guess it made me quite introspective and awkward with my peers. My half sisters came along when I was 10 and 12. My mum had epilepsy and I would often look after them on evenings after school, again not much socialising with kids my age. nnIt turned me into a socially anxious adult and it's literally only been the last couple of years where I've had to try and accept myself for who I am and as an Introverted person. Just wondered what your stories were.
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It's really interesting to hear all of your stories and I'm sorry you guys have suffered with this too. May we be strong and kickass individuals despite our anxiety ud83dude4fud83dude4f
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This goes out to the people who are either working or have worked at McDonald'snnI've been planning on applying ever since my local McDonald's finished remodeling a handful of months ago. It's either here for a factory and I'd think I'd be in more of a comfort zone here though am aware of the stress of busy days (though I'm aiming for part-time early shift) but my biggest worry is my social problemsnnMainly my anxiety. I've had a stuttering problem since I was like 6 (it's gotten better the last 16 years but it can still be a massive pain in the butt when it wants to be. I can go a day without stuttering then the next I sound like a CD/DVD that needs cleaned). Stuttering and stumbling on sentences, whether I'm thinking of my next sentence and I get them mixed together or I don't think ahead of my current one and freeze up again which just ends up annoying me. I also have this problem where I can get completely stuck on a word unless I give out a slight d sound (the best I can describe it) so if I say open with that sound it sounds like I said dopen and it throws everyone I'm talking to off. And it's mainly prevalent when I'm stressed/nervous/excited and it amplifies when I'm talking to strangersnnWith all that being said. If any of you have had this experience and worked as a Crew Member, have you guys been able to get out of working at the registers and the drive thru and just stay in the kitchen? Or do you have to cover them? Because as of right now that's making me paranoid as I don't want to slow things down because I freeze up or I keep stumbling over my words and just irritating everyone. Another worry is if I get the interview and I bring all this up, even though I believe I can do perfectly fine either at the grill or putting orders together that since my social skills are awful they might not take me in. But I just want to stay in the kitchen and really don't want to get put in drive thru or register dutiesnnAny answers would be appreciated
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I'm a speech pathologist, also with crippling social anxiety that makes work really hard, so I'm just here to recommend if your stutter is affecting you this much then maybe you should seek out an evaluation. If you have insurance you can check out your carrier's website to find an in network provider. If not, Google speech pathology grad programs near you and contact them. All programs have an on-site training clinic that offers free or reduced cost therapy for the community
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I can't stop blushing here, my heart races, I'm sweating and people make it known that they see. I need to be taken seriously at this job and I appear incompetent because of this!!! This is the best job I've ever had and I'm so happy. I just don't understand why I'm so fucking nervous and it absolutely needs to be dealt with. I think my main fear is looking stupid. This happens every meeting and every time I think/do something wrong. I love it here but I need help controlling this
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I've somewhat confided in my supervisor but I don't think they fully understand.
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I think that if I wasn't born so hideous I wouldn't be too anxious in social situations. Being able to receive genuine compliments from people and being able to accept the reflection staring back at you surely would have an impact on your confidence and make your social life overall better.nnI'm not saying attractive people don't have problems and that their social lives always work out perfectly for them, I'm just saying for me, personally, my ugliness has made me want to hide from the world and as a result I haven't had the practice I need to approach and converse with people, and it's just painful to know that if I was born with slightly different genetics, I would have a great life.nnIt's not just the social anxiety that being ugly brings, it's also the depression, insecurities, self hate, thoughts of suicide, low self esteem, etc. It's honestly just a curse.
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So you started off as being ugly. Social conditioning has taught us that if you don't look aesthetically a certain way, that you're not of any value in society. This negatively reinforces your mindset that you are not good enough, and you go down this spiral of negative thought and excuse making. What people fail to realize over and over again is that your aesthetics account for like a second of what people actually think of you when you're actually talking to them, and less if you're just walking by the street. Why do we let that get to us? Because even in our negative state, we're still egocentric in our thoughts if others and think that all eyes are on us. The rest of peoples' judgements stem from the person that we actually are inside and how vibrational that emotional feeling is. So if you walk around with this constant negative thought pattern and reinforcement, it manifests it self physically in facial expression, posture, fidgeting, and the overall uneasiness is sensed by others. All this adds up in a negative downhill spiral. What people ultimately value after that split second of judgement is how you make them feel. So if you talk with people charismatically, confidently, humorously, your looks are not a factor in the conversation anymore. People are born a certain way in certain conditions and that's the starting point they're given in life. Social conditioning rewards the naturally good looking people because society wants those
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I am a... nLoser, coward, mental/emotional Punching bag,nnI am...nUgly, WeaknnI have... nno friends.nnn-peaple want to beat me up and am scaredn-I cannot speak i cant talk back because i am verbally underdevelopedn-I cannot speak my opinionn-i am scared of speaking up and saying my truthn-i have low intelligence and i am very stupid and dumbn-I hate myselfn-i hate all the losers in my family i feel like i am loser in my DNA and i dont like it i hate itn-i am scared of losing people in my life because its hard for me to get people to enter my life. No one wants to be friends with me. No one wants to be friends with the real men-everybody is bullying men-i have the face, head and body of a loser and a ugly person. I hate myself.n-i dont know who i can trust.n-i dont know how much i can open up myself and to whom i can open up myself and not get hurt deeply.n-dumb, stupid, unsuccessful, losern-so many people that loved me and believed in me are disappointed in me. I hate myself so much.. i want to cry.. i wanna die..n-all of a sudden they stopped loving me, i still dont know why.. i am so hurt. I feel abandoned. I am so scared of being abandoned.n-i just want to hide and not talk to anybody because i dont want to disappoint more people.n-I want to figure this out and fix whatever i need to fix, but i dont know what exactly i did or what exactly is wrong with me, why the people that i love and who loved suddenly aban doned me and left me and hurt me. Why did they do that? How can i get that back?
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First of all you are not dumb and you are young and are going through a very trying period in your life. I would suggest exersize and trying to eat a healthy diet. Give up soda and drink lots of water. Get enough rest. Get off social media. Find a hobby that you enjoy. Apologize to yourself for all the bad things you have said about yourself. Give yourself a break! Take time to do some self care. Just know you are not alone! All of your peers are feeling the same way. Some just hide it better. Stay away from anyone that is bullying you. Just know the bullies hate themselves not you. You are just starting out you will learn at your own rate. Read as many books as you can.
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I am close to scheduling an appointment with a psychiatrist and want to have a better idea if it could be the right idea.
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I have taken GABA and lithium for SA but don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like all of my emotions that I used to feel have been limited to 50% and can't connect with people as well. It got rid of the majority of my overthinking, but I miss being able to have my happiness highs. My memories are even fuzzier and I can't feel
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I'm a 21m who is decent looking. I usually get pretty attractive girls to match with me on dating apps. My biggest issue has always been the conversation part. Idk what to say, how to initiate, how to respond, etc. I'm not expecting much but any help could be useful
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No offense but I hate the u201cjust be yourselfu201d advice. It's not really helpful tbh bc being myself is the reason I'm here. I want to be someone else so I can finally feel love.
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It's so annoying because most non SA people have really boring personalities but we have SA so to the outside world, we end up being boring. Like for example I am super knowledgeable, intelligent and have a great sense of humour but I can only be myself around my immediate family because of SA.nnLike most people are pretty dumb and boring but they don't have SA so they are talkative around people, whereas people think I'm boring.. I hate SA
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i feel like i dont have a personality at all
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By
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Matt Maeson
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I have this weird irrational fear of using trains because I never actually used those on my own before. I'm just thinking, where would I find the right one, what if I'm waiting on the wrong track and miss it, where do I go once I reach my destination, etc etc.nnI know that all it really takes is to start by going to the train station just to see at which tracks each train stops, without actually entering one. But I can't even seem to do that.
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I wish I knew.
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I joined my new office yesterday.nStuttered around every new person I met and talked to. (Even stuttered while talking to a severe stutterer)nnDidn't stutter around the ones I've spoken over call or video.nnI feel much calm compared to how I was feeling yesterday. nnWhich made me realise...nIt's not the stutter. It's the social anxiety that intensifies the stutter.nnSo...nnHELLO SOCIALLY ANXIOUS PEOPLE!nWELCOME ME (GENTLY)
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I'm in the same exact boat. Those days are nerve- racking for me since I was cursed with stuttering on my own name. I dread the introductions because one of my biggest triggers for my stutter/social anxiety has become saying my name when asked what my name is. nnHopefully it gets better over time when around the same people often.
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The same people saying you are too quiet or too shy are sometimes the first to critique you & make you never want to be around others again.
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Yes!!!!
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I'm 19 years old and I literally dont have a single friend or acquaintance. I don't have a Facebook account or anything and I don't know how I could possibly make friends.Wouldn't people think it's odd that I have no life and no friends?I'm screwed ain't I?
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We all feel dislikable here, most people feel dislikable. nnThat's just a wrong impression you have, either caused by your lack of social skills or by some assholes you met.nn I assure you, a ton of people would like to be friend with you but they probably just think you dislike them because of how you act.
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My mom tells my teenage brothers and I this, considering we're anti-social and socially awkward. I just have had a very hard time making friends, I'm alone romantically and don't have any real friends. I'm going to be 27 next month, I've never been in a LTR and suck at maintaining friendships. I just have very low tolerance for certain behaviors and am quick to cut people off. While it's very hard to open up to people because I'm not a trusting person. My mom always says that she wishes my brothers and I would open up to people, be who we are because there's nothing wrong with us. But clearly there is considering: I'm socially awkward, I've been bullied, guys don't talk to me and don't make friends easy. Anything encouraging from my parents I usually don't take literally… who's in the same boat?nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/q703zk)
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You sound like a selective mute like my brother
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I am almost 20 years old now . I am going to college soon . And I'm really afraid how I'm gonna manage everything on own . It scared me so much .nnI have never live my life without being worried and anxious . I never went outside to hangout with friends. I am scared to order food . I am scared to talk on phone . I don't know how to communicate well . No body understand me . I have always been the
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You should try to get out of that situation if possible because that sounds very toxic. But the most important step he talks about is to stop hiding and to go out into the world and do things. I am also full of shame and disgust about myself but I know this is just because of my inner child being deeply hurt and being honest and going outside and talking to people really does help
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