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Do any of you avoid going to the gym or going on jogs outside because of social anxiety? If so, how do you get your exercise in?
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Try breaking a barrier and get to the park for exercise. Social anxiety isn't a terminal illness. You gotta take actions to realize progress. Baby steps. Less thinking. More doing.
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Hi Everyone,nnI have posted here before, but I never really get many replies. I hope, that maybe this time I can get more than usual. I'm really in a dark place, and I'm down further than before. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety last year by my counsellor, who I only had about 4 in session's, until the Virus restrictions, which put 2 or something online, then stopped, because the government wasn't paying or something. The counsellor told me to get the other session's, and I never did. I am not trying to feel sorry for my self. I have University this year, and really I think I will fail badly. That is no joke, I can't go into the class, my voice is not yet deep, or maybe it is, but it is not loud at all. I cannot project my voice, I try. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to go back to therapy again, maybe to a different one this time, I just want to talk. I can't go into University. It's to hard, last year when I went in, I had to say my name maybe more than 5 times for someone to hear it properly. I just can't go through that again. I hated it. I just want to get confident and then do it. But, my family insist I do the in-class thing. As I've had a bad experience with online. But, that's for another day. I'm struggling really badly, and I don't know what to do. Please, if you can say anything to help. I would appreciate it so much.
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I am sorry for what you are going thru. I completely understand what you are going thru. I have had anxiety in general all my life but specifically social anxiety as well. I would turn red and sweat a lot just from cross a street or doing a presentation or even asking for ketchup at a drive thru. Honestly it's tough it's a battle everyday to try to think more positive. It's so easy to get stuck in the negative thoughts and we forget about the positive. I myself am trying to learn that everyday. I currently am taking medication sertraline for anxiety and overall it does help your mood over time taking it. I also do take weekly therapy and I always try to be super honest to her about my feelings. It does help a lot. Best advice I can give you is to get professional help if you feel it's controlling your life to much. Talk to friends about it all that you trust. Take walks to lift up moods. Try to eat healthy. Everything does add up. Know that you are not alone hope I helped in some way best wishes ud83dude0aud83dudc4d
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If any of you fine penguins would like to follow me, please feel free. I can use all the support I can get. :)nn(http://thepenguinchronicles.tumblr.com/)
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Yes, writing is SO helpful. I blog about it too. It's a great outlet!
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It hasn't been this busy in quite a while but all of a sudden a huge group of people came in and I'm working alone. It gets worse, they're all young parents that speak different languages, some are native some not but I have no idea what langauage to speak to who and they brought like 7 kids and they're all breaking rules including covid rules and they keep coming behind the counter and the parents aren't doing anything :(((nThe parents are very nice and sweet but I really wish they would watch their kids and make sure they don't break rules cause I can't control a kid, let alone seven.
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That sounds stressful. Is your anxiety made worse because you find it hard to speak up to the parents and tell them exactly what you said here?
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I'm 18 with no friends and about to graduate from highschool. I am working on getting my drivers license, I know I should've had that by my sophomore year but I procrastinated. Now we're approaching summer and surprisingly I feel more anxious. I've wasted my highschool experience on caring too much about what others think of me. I lost some friends because of my irrational anxiety of people. This is my fault and I take accountability. I was too weak minded to get over that hump. nI so desperately want to live my life
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I felt similarly in high school, and fought terribly with a constantly terrified, thumping heart, making plans, and failing to carry them out over and over. I also was stressing about my drivers license, really scared that I would only end up hurting someone by driving. I passed my driver's test this winter break, I'm 20. I've got an aunt in her 40s still working at getting hers. I think it's really cool that you're working towards it now. Don't discount that.nnI am still terrified of people. 2019, my college freshman year, I spent most of it in my room terrified and didn't make any friends. And this was before Covid. The biggest social victory I had was inviting a classmate to eat with me at the dining hall after planning out everything I was going to say and pushing past the fear. That was the only time I ate with anyone that year. It was one of the two social gatherings I initiated the whole school year. But those two I'm very proud of.nnBut last semester I had a stretch of confidence from coming back new, and I took advantage of it. I got a part-time job from applying to lots of listings and I started initiating hangouts with the girl I liked, and I actually told her I liked her (something I never EVER imagined I could do) and she liked me back, now we are dating. And now in the present I am still terrified of people, having trouble making friends that aren't my girlfriend and feeling terrible about it. But those little victories are not something to ignore.nnDistraction helps a lot, like drawing or listening to a banger rock ballad when I'm about to send a text and then going right back to that activity so my brain isn't 100% focused on what people think of me. nnAbout accountability. This being 'your fault'. It's true that both your, my, everyone with crippling social anxiety's actions are determined by them. But the thoughts and feelings that pushed you down were a factor, and those are things that you can't consciously control. It's a learned skill to remember that and let go of the responsibility you carry for those feelings. It helps to not beat yourself up because it's so much harder to do the things you want to do when you are emotionally battered and bruised. nnYou will have friends again. I hope the best for both of us.nSome YouTube videos that have helped recently:nn(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfkVXCuBD80)nnn(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k7y6ikkwEY&list=PLfdtTzP_CRyeAXYiNzNXZk5FCerj06qJr&index=8)
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What's holding you back the most?nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/thv69h)
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Same
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Idk if anyone can relate but i see the at others act with each other in public and i always wonder how they got there, like how they met and how they started talking to how they became so close. I feel like im doing something wrong where I can't get to that close relationship with other because of my anxiety. I always feel like the odd one out in a conversation or with a group of people and i know it's my anxiety that is hindering me from making close connections. Close friends in the pad have done me wrong, and so im generally pretty guarded. But, also it's hard to like relate and talk to certain people. others can easily make conversation with anybody but most of the time it feels weird. I want to like look at other peoples relationships and see what they're doing that makes them able to make such close bonds or even able to talk to many people at once. I have a few friends and sometimes barely have the bandwidth to keep up with them that i won't talk to them for days sometimes. I wish we were closer but idk how to be. I don't feel very wanted but I can understand why since Im not super adaptable in certain social situations. Idk, just a lot on my mind right now hoping to find some that can relate to this and get some thoughts.
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I feel the same way. The way I learn how to do things is by observing people doing things over and over and then having them observe me doing it and give pointers to me before I do it on my own.nnI feel like I need someone to coach me in that way about relationships with people. I don't think I'm doing it right
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The pain hell and my head is just gonna explode. I have high functional anxiety with panic attacks and now i have developed this pain disorder which no one can tell me the reason. It's a migraine 5x and fatigue 6x and neck sucks. I have forgot even that i have anything else than pain. Anxiety and panic attacks were blessings.
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Welcome
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Has anyone else struggled with meeting someone from a dating app for the first time? I've been talking to a great guy for about 3 weeks and have dodged all of his meetup requests because I am absolutely terrified. What if he thinks I'm ugly in person? What if he doesn't look like his pictures and I don't recognize him at the restaurant or wherever we go? Should I let him pick me up if he offers so that we avoid the awkward public meeting? What if we run out of things to talk about and just sit in dead silence? What if I drive to the restaurant but can't find parking?nnHonestly a lot of these fears would dwindle if I could just have a party at my house and invite him, or ask him to meet me out for a drink when I'm already out with friends or something. I feel like that's weird but it would take a ton of the pressure off. Hopefully I'm not the only one who feels this way about meeting someone for the first time. Gotta love social anxiety!
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That is a wonderful idea! It's extremely cold and snowy where I live right now lmao so maybe I'll try the coffee date! That definitely seems more casual than scanning through the crowd of a busy restaurant in a panicked state, thank you for the advice :)
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I know people may think introverts have no life or whatever and it's not true i see a lot of them that do. nWhy can't I. nnOk, so everyone hates me in school idk why the main reason probs is cause i'm weird, quiet and just weird again. I'm quite normal i guess but i have no interests and i occasionally could make people's laugh. nnDue to people's hate towards me. I am just forced to be in this friends group for 5 years of school. guess what. I HATE it. But its better than being a loner and visibly being alone and being an easier target to pick on. it saved me from ounces of embarrassment anyways. nnThe cons outweigh the pros because 1. I am NOT myself around them 2. I intrude on them 3. They are boring and uptight. They do not do anything out of school and just study all the time. 4. I'm academically dumb so I clearly don't fit in there. 5. i feel like i'm way to good for them. (idk how that's possible), but they treat me like crap. I think you've guessed by now they are kinda nerdy. nnIf i fail to make at least a solid few friends that i could simply rely on or have fun with in my teenage years, I'm finished. Where i'm older i'll have little to no social interaction. I'm unconvinced about how i haven't ended it yet. My life's an complete misery. Im 14 and i'm facing all of this i want it to end.nnNo one wishes me happy birthday or cares, it's so sad and i've never been out with friends ONCE during high school. I'm not joking. nnDo i need a therapist ? I get scared every time i need to be faced with people.And being on child line is kinda useless they just tell you to explain yourself and they don't give actual options or solutions. nnHELP
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Ok, first of all, try and calm down. A couple of deep breaths in and out.nnBefore I get to my (semi-wise) advice, I'd like to say this. If you are feeling any emotions about self-harm, please try and talk with a therapist or if you feel comfortable, approaching a parent figure, maybe a teacher, counselor, coach, doctor, librarian, or your parents about what emotions you are feeling. They will be able to guide you towards a better path and may get you the help that you need and improve your self-esteem and confidence. Now onto the advice:nnYou're 14 years old, and you've got a big life ahead of you. I assume that you are heading into your second year of high school, and trust me, your life is only beginning. It's hard feeling isolated and lonely, and I can completely understand the pains of feeling that no one cares about you, but here are some ways to help overcome these emotions:nnClubs - Trust me. I know that clubs are extremely scary (and for me, extremely daunting), but they may help you a lot. I'd recommend joining a smaller club and one that has a little less interaction. Some good ones to think about are book clubs, gardening clubs, letter-writing clubs (like for war veterans), writing clubs, and board game clubs. If you have any interest in anything vaguely related to these, maybe this is something you'd want to try out. Most people joining these clubs are going to be a little more quiet and empathetic to your situation and you may find it easier to bond with them, especially since these are not super hardcore academic clubs.nnOnline Friends - I know it won't help with the physical isolation at school, but maybe this will help with the isolation that you feel by yourself. There are many online communities that cover a variety of topics that you can join and engage with. One community that I'm part of is the Wattpad community. If you have any interest in writing or need any motivation, the people there are extremely kind and inviting, and they'll help support you. BTW, have you considered writing out your emotions in either a diary / journal or maybe writing a story where you process these emotions? That might help with these feelings that you are feeling, and will relieve the burden that you are carrying, which leads to my final suggestion:nnGratitude Journaling: I know that this doesn't have much to do with your friend situation, but this might help with the sadness that you are feeling. Try and write about something that you are grateful for or something that surprised you pleasantly. It doesn't have to be basic things like your parents or good grades, but can be mundane like how you loved watching the sun set or saw a hummingbird in your garden. There is beauty in your life and nature, and writing down the best thing of the day (even if it's something completely random, like how watching the dust floating in the morning sunlight was beautiful or about something that you found funny) will help you build a more positive viewpoint about life.nnIt's tough feeling that you are isolated, but let me tell you something, you are not alone. It must've taken great bravery to post this online, and you will only grow stronger and better. You're fourteen years old. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and you're only in the beginning of your high school experience. Reading over your question again, I'd highly recommend that you reach out to any trusted adult because it seems that you want to conquer your social anxiety and they will be there to support you all the way. Stay strong, stay safe from the coronavirus, and I hope you have a great weekend!
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I'm sure other people have to is problem. I'm a very anxious person so I avoid talking to people in person. However, it doesn't just stop at that. I have trouble replying to messages and emails. I'm too nervous to answer and that probably makes me seem rude. I've literally avoided replying to news reporters and important people that couldn't helped me network. My anxiety makes me too nervous to answer and by the time I do it's too late. nnThat's also often why I lose track of friendships until they're gone. It's gotten too bad and I can't fix it. nnPlease help. Any advice appreciated.
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You can make your emails friendly and have that mask the late replies, quick replies, or other issue. Just disguise it in jargon that is positive.
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The question that always comes up,
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Well, lots of people have hobbies that no one else really likes. Unfortunately for you, that's going to make it a little harder to make connections with people. Honestly, having unique or unusual hobbies makes you less of a boring person, imo. Maybe you can use the opportunity to tell others about your interests in an interesting way, but it's ok if you don't! Not everyone has to say something interesting in this situation, so don't feel like you have to.
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What is life ? No one knows what is the true meaning of life and i also dont know. We are just here in this planet without any purpose. We born then start studying then become a job slave earn money to buy materialistic shit then one day you retire from job. You live for some years then you die. Is this actually living i dont think so. I dont understand whats the point in living bc whatever you fucking do in the end we all are gonna die. And i think its better if we die bc we will not feel anthing at all. I want to die but i cant bc i dont have the fucking guts to do it. So i dont know what to do. I am losing interest in everythings .
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I'm glad to hear you're not going to kill yourself. “I just can't find exciting things in life anymore” sounds like Anhedonia which is the the equivalent of depressed mood in the criteria for depression…point being you may very well be depressed even if you don't feel “sad.” I know the feeling well. nnI also know the feeling of not wanting to reach out for help. In my case, a combination of not wanting attention and also a distorted sense of conscientiousness/dutifulness. But it's a mistake and causes many to suffer way too long unnecessarily. Tell someone, please. You don't have to tell anyone in detail about your feelings (although it would very likely help), just tell someone that you need to see a psychiatrist or a therapist…or find one on your own. They have heard everything and it is their job to listen to you and offer solutions, so you don't have to feel as embarrassed to share and you don't you don't have to feel guilty about putting your problems on them. Plus they will recognize the symptoms you are describing, will have heard the same or similar things and will know what to do about it.nnYour repeated reference to courage suggests it is a quality you value in yourself and others. Here are some definitions of courage: “the ability to do something that frightens one” and “strength in the face of pain or grief.”You don't have to be brave to be valid…at all, I'm just pointing this out because you brought it up. nnIn social anxiety, the awkwardness, embarrassment and unwarranted shame of sharing or revealing even trivial things, let alone meaningful things about oneself is what causes fear and suffering. If you want to be courageous, please find the strength to face invisible barrier, just enough to get you into the doctor or therapists office.
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why can't I be this way sober. I just played a gig with my band at a small party and felt so free and careless. I felt alive. Throughout the night I was able to keep conversations going and meeting new people. this shit sucks man.
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It will consume you. This is as close to selling your soul the the devil friend. You're in a fork in the road now, trust me when I say that. One goes one way, one goes the other. You don't wanna take the path I chose. Get rest. Tomorrow is another day.
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so yeah I usually avoid meeting new people, speaking publicly, being the center of attention and parties with strangers. i like staying alone or with 1 friend most of the time, but mostly alone. anyone can relate and help me?
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yes, for sure. ty for the help! :D
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I, 22M, have been on Escitalopram for depression (no anxiety) with almost no side effects and prescribed Xanax for emergencies. After some time the escitalopram stopped working and I started taking paroxetine, which worsened my condition, and after a dose increase it completely messed me up and I had started tapering off of it. Even with the tapering process I became ill due to severe withdrawal symptoms which I suffered through for a week until I could get an appointment with my GP. The doctor claimed I have unexpectedly high susceptibility to this sort of medications (SSRIs) and dosage increase/tapering should be done more gradually than usual. So I started taking sertraline which helped my depression but made me nauseous (beyond the usual 2 weeks of normal side effects) and also, based on what other people told me, made me quite aggressive and irritable. So I went back to escitalopram, but a new psychiatrist that I decided to visit decided that I should go off escitalopram and start taking fluoexetine, he suggested I drop the 10 mg of escitalopram I was on (in the beginning I was at max dose of 20 mg) for two days and start the new drug, I explained what happened with the paroxetine and that I don't think I can go through this sort of extreme withdrawal again, so he suggested I taper off of it by taking 5 mg for 10 days, wait 2 days and then star the fluoexetine. Two days after I lowered the dose I became sick again, due to withdrawal (recognized it right away) and it was WAY worse than the first time, I was unable to function let alone go to work. I live alone and quite far from my parents, don't really have any close friends, and I was having non-stop crying fits and panic attacks, nausea, diarrhea even puked a couple of times due to stress. I tried to reach the psychiatrist but to no avail...I had to go back to my parents as I was afraid of harming myself, the psychiatrist answered my message a week later asking why I was even taking the escitalopram when he instructed me to take fluoexetine...I had a piece of paper with his instructions where what I previously wrote was clearly stated...I found a new and expensive psychiatrist and went to her for guidance and she suggested I take mirtazapine, but I couldn't do it. Every pill I take, even ones I took before (Xanax even) make me anxious to the point of panicking out of fear from having a bad reaction or even an allergic reaction (which I have only had for penicilin when I was 7, once), I never had anxiety before and even the Xanax was for when I feel extreme sadness and not for anxiety, so now I have anxiety too and I am afraid of taking the new pills and am kinda lost...Any suggestions on how to move forward from here will be appreciated. nTo be clear, when I realized the psychiatrist, who barely took family history from me and mocked me for the reason I was depressed during our meeting, didn't remember his own medication plan I didn't bother taking the fluoexetine and simply waited on 5 mg of escitalopram until my meeting with the new psychiatrist, which was today.
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Thank you so much for the reply, I noted everything you recommended, regarding the xanax, benzos in general make me foggy and a little high, so, as funny as it may sound, it makes me almost (and by almost I mean it literally affects my short term and instant memory) forget what I was sad about, I take it VERY scarcely though because of its strong effect on me. They did recommend, but due to the fact that my appetite is very low, and sometimes I have to force myself to eat, plus sleeping problems that I have, the psychiatrist figured the mirtazapine might be a cure-for-all drug in my case (as it increases appetite and helps people sleep), although, in case I experience a bad reaction again the plan is to move to 10 mg escitalopram with 150 mg wellbutrin and add Seroquel (25 mg I think) for sleep - it was also a consideration of one drug versus three, so she preferred I attempt the one first.nMay I ask, how did you raise your dosage of escitalopram beyond 20mg? I once took 25 mg and it made me feel much better but my doctor said its not allowed, did you have to convince them or get special approval or something of the sort?
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Wearing sunglasses eases my social anxiety by a good 25% because people can't look at my wide open terrified vulnerable looking eyes.nnThat's why i hate going out at night if there are people present
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Large dark sunglasses and headphones in ears.
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i remember back in elementary school i would be one of the quiet well behaved kids because those were the kids that got all benefits, meanwhile all the loud kids would get punishednnbut when you grow up its the opposite, all the loud people are enjoying life, being happy, and getting all of the opportunities because it turns out that the reason they were loud was because they had confidence and were not scared of failurennand all the well behaved quiet kids like me are now stuck in their rooms being sad all day, or in my case, trying to relearn social skills so that my youth doesnt go to waste and so that i actually have a life im satisfied withnnalso kinda unrelated but can we not give little children ipads that shit is equally as damning like maybe an hour a day to watch cartoons is fine but children should be outside playing and experimenting with stuff
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I was that kid. This post hits home so much for me. I bet all the loud and popular kids from my school have the good jobs now. And here I'm struggling to find the right job.
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I don't have a lot of friends (which is a given considering my state), and I have a hard time feeling like people actually view me as their friend (which is harder for me than making said friends), also I am seen as a closed off person even though I view myself as a pretty open person, even too open.nnThe thing is that once people actually make an effort to befriend me I get kind of scared, like, there's this boy who texts me a lot, not like in a disturbing stalker way, but in an actually reaching out way, actually caring way, sometimes when he text me I get overwhelmed, I feel like he gets to close, I feel like I want to ghost him (sometimes I do, and then he sand me '???' and it stresses me out even more)nnSame goes for one of my friends who keeps saying things like 'that is so us' and acting like we have a special super close bond, it makes me want to push him away, or saying things to prove him that he is not special, that the way I act around him is not because he is special or something like that (which is true to a degree, but I know it's not the nicest thing to say).nnIt's not like I don't like them or enjoy their company, but it stresses me out when they get too close to me, I don't know if it's a coincidence that they are both boys or something (it happens more with boys than girls, generally I befriend more boys than girls, but still).nn ndoes this happen to anyone else?nnEDITED for grammar and clarity.
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I can never get close to someone, idk how to reach that depth nor get comfortable with it.
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Lately I've tried making some new friends cause my family is worried I'm some hermit loser. It's worked and I have about 2 decent friends now nothing serious just casual hangouts occasionally. However I notice when it comes time to getting ready to go hangout - it's the last thing I want to do. In fact even the idea of having to go meet with them and do all the social stuff is exhausting. It's come to the point where I actively ignore them now or cancel frequently and I don't really mind if they choose to not be friends with me. I know it sounds wrong but I have a hard time saying no to people and it just feels safer to me. I swear I'm not a malicious person and I would never want to hurt these people but I'm aware the friendship is very casual and they have plenty of other friends. I'm grateful they even think of me in the first place but I don't know. nnI've always been so happy by myself doing my own thing and not having to worry about what someone else might think or what to do or entertaining them. nnI feel like it's just easier to be alone and not worry about another person. Now this isn't the case with my romantic relationships. I currently have a boyfriend and he gets my habits of being alone and is the same way sometimes so it works really well for us but for some reason friends just don't work out for me. nnI've always either been stabbed in the back or had my social battery drained and stepped on because I can't say no for the life of me. nnDoes anyone else feel happier alone? Is this unhealthy or normal? I don't personally feel anything wrong with it but I'm curious for everyone else's insight.
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I'm perfectly fine without many close friends. It's definitely ok as long as you're happy, I mean it's important to have some social interaction whether that's going to work, school or hanging out with friends. I do feel lonely sometimes when I go out alone and see people hanging out with their friends but I always remind myself that I can also have fun on my own. I've always believed that the only person you can really depend on is yourself.
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I've been suffering with panic disorder for a good chunk of my life, I'm currently 21 going to be 22 this year and all I have to say is where did my teen life go? I spent so much time worrying about everything and going through panic attacks everyday that I didn't really live much a teen life. For years I've been put on several types of medications I've been on every SSRI that is out there and while it helps it mainly just masks my symptoms. I've been talking to my psychiatrist and asking him about trying out tricyclic antidepressants. I have a good feeling about them. I just want to feel normal and happy with my life again. My mind is always clouded with thoughts ud83dudcad and I can't live in the moment. Everything is just background noise. I've tried meditation but it doesn't seem to help. Anyone have experience with tricyclic meds for panic disorder? If so does it help with running thoughts, panic attacks and just overall mood like feeling happy?
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I've never heard of it?
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My boyfriend said he fell out of love with me over the course of two weeks, during which he had extreme anxiety (he's also depressed and has feelings of self loathing). This was a complete shock because we were so in love, planning a future together. I know depression can make you feel like you're no longer in love, but can anxiety make you feel that way? What about the combination of anxiety and depression?
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Thank you for your reply! I've been going crazy trying to figure out how he could love me one day and be completely done the next. It sounds like even though you sometimes feel numb though, you have the rationality to know you can keep going, without just giving up on the relationship.
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Normally I don't care about anyone I'm speaking to. I'll answer in short sentences, straight to the point. I don't want to talk about myself or the other person, I don't find anything interesting or exciting. I think this is depression, but I haven't checked with a doctor.nnObviously, people don't like this. When I talk to people like this their smiles disappear and they feel uncomfortable. I understand, and if they leave I don't really care because that's exactly what I want. All I want to do is go home and get on a computer and forget real life while I play League of Legends or browse the internet.nnI don't think I've always been like this. When I was younger maybe it was with select people, but now it's with everyone. Even family.nnAnyway, I've tried faking it and it makes both me and the person and it just doesn't work with me. I start thinking
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In the exact same situation. LoL is fantastic and horrible. What server and div are you?
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I've lost all my friends and like I'm starting to lose hope on all things like there are family problems going on aswell I just need a friend to be honest
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Sorry to hear this. Feeling lonely can definitely make existing issues harder to cope with. Maybe checking out some online-virtual therapy options or support groups would be helpful might open up some avenues to meet others as well.
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I have been taking 40mg of Propranolol for the last two days and i cannot even express the difference it's already made. I just gave a presentation, and for the first time in my life, I wasn't getting distracted by my heart racing, sweaty palms or cheeks threatening to blush horribly. nnI am so glad I took the step to see my doctor. I feel like I can now actually just focus on my talk and motivating myself like a normal person and not having to battle my body's instinct to convince itself it's in mortal danger. nnI'm so proud of myself for the presentation I could actually cry. What a break through.
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Sorry to hear that! I hope you find something that works for you soon
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I am not going to lie i've been traumatized by many things in life. The problem is i used to feel something. Anger, tears, smiling, sadness. Now for the past 7 months nothing. I literally force myself to cry but only a few tears come out. Now, every toxic thing that it's happening in my life i'm like u2018yep not surprised i don't care' i just want to feel something but at the same time i am so used to pretending that i feel like i don't even know the girl under this mask anymore. I am pretending to have feelings even to my closest friends and family. I fake laugh, i fake cry. Because to them u2018i'm insensitive' and they might judge me, I don't care if they do but at this point i wouldn't even care if i got hit by a bus....
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My experience has been different, so maybe it won't be helpful.nnDuring family therapy (long story), the therapist said she thought I was depressed. Not down but clinically depressed. She recommended Prozac. I didn't particularly agree, but the Prozac made a huge difference.nnSo when I realized I was getting depressed again, I found a therapist and got back on Prozac.nnSame the third time. Except it's literally been *years* between that third episode and the fourth one I'm climbing out of right now.nnSo I think I'd be f*cked, honestly, if the meds didn't exist. But therapy has also really helped me get longer spaces between my depressive episodes.nnTherapy and meds get recommended so much, because they are the most effective and fastest treatment. You can do it other ways, but I like getting out of depression as quickly as possible. And once my depression is resolved, I get off the meds. ud83eudd37u200du2640ufe0f ud83dudc99
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To all the straight men here: how did you get women to be attracted if most women are attracted to confident, charismatic, and extroverted men?
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Most girls who were initially attracted to me were turned off when they found out that I have social anxiety/my loner lifestyle. I'm grateful that none of them told me that directly.
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My wife and I separated a few years ago. We still talked and I would post on her Facebook wall occasionally. nnI posted a cartoon image from lady and the tramp and suddenly got a message from her brother telling me to leave her alone. I sent him a message back saying I loved her and asked if he'd like to get some coffee one day and chat.nnHe texted back and said I've never liked you. I don't like you because you're too quiet and you never speak to her family when you come over for holidays. nnI said man I have social anxiety I'm sorry about that but it's not intentional. I also said your sister is the same way at my family gatherings but my family goes amd speaks to her and makes an effort to make her feel comfortable. nnHe responds and says I'm not that guy, you want to know me or befriend me, then you talk to me. It's not my job to make you apart of my family.nnThat was 2017 and every holiday I think back to those messages. I've been unable to bring myself to visit since. Now our child is 3 and he's starting to ask me to come with them.nnThe thought of going there makes me feel like I'm going to throw up.
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i can't get over how hypocritical that is of him
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curious. I feel like I'm the only teen here
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im 17!! ur not the only teen here :]
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Sometimes I wonder if there are shirts or tags maybe pins that say “I have social anxiety. Please be patient” or whatever when I go out because I want to tell people I have social anxiety but I can't say it and I don't want people to think I'm rude to them in any way I'm just terrible at speaking up or making conversation.nnEdit: I honestly didn't think I get this many responses I thought this was gonna be a boring post lol. But damn I didn't know people wouldn't like that stuff I understand the reasons though. Idk I just hate it when people immediately hate me just because I have social anxiety. “I'm not mean, I just have social anxiety”
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I don't really want people to know. I mean 99% of the people you walk by in your daily life or the times when you have to get out of the house you will never talk to so having them know something personal about myself like that without even knowing them is not something I'd want plus it would kill me if someone made some sort of joke about it to their friend or something once they saw it. Of course if something like that helps you then by all means go for it.
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Had this realization earlier that if I were a man, I'd be socially expected to use a urinal in public restrooms. Because of my social anxiety, I'm a little pee shy. So I think if I were a man, I wouldn't be able to use a urinal even if I tried.nn(This also applies to trans women and non-binary people who use/ have used the mens restroom)
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i don't mostly because i have a micropenis, but even if i had a bigger one, i still don't feel comfortable, i'm also pansexual so public bathrooms in general are awkward for me...
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Introduction -nnHey guys, I thought I would put together a help resource for those guys with Social Anxiety. I'm by no means an expert, but over a few years I've put a lot of time into researching the disorder and into myself and believe I'm in a position to help others. There are a lot of things I wish I knew a few years ago so it would be nice for you guys out there to learn earlier and beat this horrible disorder as soon as possible.nnI'm sure many things I talk about would also be of benefit to females but I'm in a much better position as a male to give advice, which is why I've focussed this post on males. I'm also straight, I'm sure many of the things I talk about will also be useful to gay individuals, but a lot of my advice will be tailored to heterosexual males.nnIt's a bit of a long read, but I do believe it's worth reading.nnFor the rest of the post, I will just refer to Social Anxiety as SA.nnDating -nnMy experience with dating was that it was impossible while I was in the grip of SA. I would download dating apps in the hopes of talking to girls, and yet would question everything I wrote and get down when a conversation turned badly. nnMy advice is don't go near dating apps. Dating apps, especially apps like Tinder, nowadays are more like Instagram than anything else. People post only the best side of themselves, and many girls are on there only to gain a following, hence why they often put their Instagram handle in their bio.nnA much better way to date is through meeting people in real life, whether it's through work, acquaintances or hobbies. Through this you will also learn from experience how to speak with others and socialise better. I will touch on this exposure part later as it is one of the fundamental aspects of beating SA.nnWhen dating, or even when generally speaking to girls, it is imperative you don't put them on a pedestal. For the younger of us, this is called simping - and it is one of the most unattractive things a guy can do. This may sound controversial, so please debate me in the comments if you disagree, but as a guy, naturally, 9 times out of 10 it is your role to lead and for a woman to follow you. You are expected to arrange dates, and especially in the early stages of dating, reach out and speak to them.nnThe best way I found to increase my attractiveness towards girls is to give myself as many options as possible. In year one of University I pretty much fell for my flatmate after she gave me the littlest amount of attention. I had never been intimate with a girl so it was unsurprising I felt that way. I was getting carried way ahead in my head, even thinking I would marry her one day. Unfortunately, that's not the way life goes. It's no surprise she rejected me, but after a while of living with her I realised she was a completely different person to who I thought she was, and I would never think about dating her now. nnI also put myself in her shoes. She's just moved country, wanting to meet new people and live her life, and suddenly she's living with a guy obsessing over her – it's not really a recipe for true love, even if that's what I wanted to see.nnWhen looking for someone, it's important to be friendly and talk to as many women as possible, by asking friends to introduce you to their friends, or meeting them through University or at work. They will let you know and give you the signs if they are into you, and that's when you start flirting and go for it.nnMasturbation -nnYour libido or
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So I was once anxiety-free but at 12 years old I developed social anxiety. I'm 23 now. What age did you have develop SA and for how long did you have it as an 8/10 severity? I have another question to follow up with once you answer this one.
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First day of classes for me in my mid 30s at community College. I hate it. I wanted zoom online classes but no, the professor had to be in person.nnAnd the bus ride here with mostly teenagers everywhere was exhausting mentally. I was so scared. Was thinking what are they thinking of me.nnNow I came early to see how long it will take and I arrived like an hour early.nnThe worse part is that I maybe still have to do intros in class in about half an hour.
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I honestly found zoom classes harder. Something about talking and your face going on the huge screen it was awful
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Anyone in Belgium or Netherlands doing social freedom exercises?nnI want to get over this fear permanently, but currently lack the courage to do these alone. nnAnyone in these countries wanting to do some social freedom exercises regularly?nnHit me up
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Absolutely, WhatsApp me 0492085003
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I posted and deleted a post yesterday about trying to go into a bar alone and ended up chickening out and going home.nnToday I forced myself to go in one! Talked to the bartender and other people! I'm so proud of myself. I'm still currently here and just felt like I needed to tell someone. nnnIf anyone wants to go out by themselves, go at a time when no one's really there and when people start to show up it's so much easier! nnWe can get through this yall!
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Thank you so much (: I was so nervous at first but once I sat down I felt pretty comfortable
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People always say I never smile (gee I wonder why). When I do smile, it doesn't look like I'm actually smiling. It looks like I'm trying to hold back a smile, but I swear I'm trying my hardest.
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Try not to talk to yourself in your head, does wonders for me.
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Whenever I have days where people don't really text me back, or stop replying to my texts/snapchats, I go crazy. I know it's typically nothing personal and people just have their own lives but it makes me feel totally friendless and disliked. I always get anxiety when people don't reply and I hate the feeling that I am always the one texting them, and if I don't we wouldn't be talking at all. I fall into a paranoid, insecure depression when I see that people have opened my messages/snapchats and haven't replied. I think I'm too attached to my phone, but at the same time if I don't always have my phone I get paranoid that I'm missing out on something. It's messed up but I just hate that simply not getting many texts or anything can make me totally depressed. Can anyone else relate?
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I have the same problem too, especially when I try to reach out to a friend to talk to when my depression gets to me.
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Speaking for one I crave to be an extrovert one day, sometimes I feel like having potential, but I'm often set back by reality, people deplete my energies constantly
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I don't think it's a sad thing though. There is nothing at all wrong with being an introvert, you might just have an image in your mind of how you would like to be instead of just accepting yourself the way you are. :)
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they keep being nice and shit but they laugh behind my back and won't invite me to a group chat. why do normies keep sending mixed signals like that? if they hate me why won't they just tell me to fuck off?
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They don't respect you, and that's a problem. I recommend you stop talking to them, or if you want, talk to them in a deeper, more stern matter.
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So my friend is a serious advocate for feminism, we talk about it a lot and I support feminism, however whenever I decide to speak out about men's issues in society I get blasted with hate.nnI have a problem where I just have the urge to speak out about it, when the thought comes into my mind i simply cannot stop myself from posting this shit to my story, I think this may be a mental health issue.nnAlso whenever I do it, I always end up crying because I made a mistake, like for fucks sake, all I had to do was not post it.nnThis is the fourth time it's happened and I can't stop myself, I need help
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Thanks man, I appreciate the message.nI'll be sure to think about it :)))
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Hey guys!nnMy dad's birthday is this weekend, and he wants to come visit me at college. We do not talk very often at all, so he hasn't even been to my campus yet even though I'm almost half way through my third semester. I'm already terribly nervous about seeing him, but him coming to my campus would make it so much worse. I don't know how to introduce him to my roommate, what to show him on campus, etc. Not to mention the fact that I'm straight up embarrassed to be walking around my school with my dad when I'm almost 20 years old. I REALLY don't want him to come up here, but what should I say? I already offered to eat at a restaurant around where he lives, but he just said he
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Obviously don't know the background with your Dad but...don't be embarrassed about walking around with your Dad. You're not a kiddy. You're 20 and the pair of you are adults appreciating each others time and he's interested in knowing where you live. There's nothing cooler than a young adult giving their parents the time of day, it's about respect and it's a real sign of maturing and not being a whiney hormonal teenager. Tell him everything. He'd appreciate it from the sounds of it.
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Yeah
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LOL Sounds like me. ud83dude02 btw what do you find
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Seriously i wish i am antisocial in a sense that i dont like people... Or i hate most people but its the opposite. I actually like most people and hated a few of them.nnThat what makes my social anxiety very hard. I crave and needs social interaction. I wanted to be friendly but just couldnt bring myself to be one...
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Try and get adopted by an extrovert or extrovert group. I was in my early 20s and apparently am seen at trade school at 34 as very loud and socialable who apparently is doing the same for others. I still consider myself extremely misanthropic but I get by though I still crave the approval of others.nnFind your extrovert!
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I think I entered the class too early, and theres another class going on. Since the lecturer didn't say anything I just find a seat. Right now I wish I'm dead because it's very embarrassing. I'm looking at my phone as a distraction and trying not to cry.
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hey its okay! happens to everyone. if theres a break later u can leave the class and find the one ure supposed to go to
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So umm I'm not sure where to start but I was talking to a new co worker for the first time and we were talking about her side business which is Private Investigation but specifically for catching cheaters. I thought that was cool and interesting and asked her a lot about it. nnWell during the course of the conversation her eye contact gets weird and she says she had a good intuition about who is and isn't a cheater. Cool that's a good trait to have I say. I'm kind of getting weirdness and start getting anxious. Well she says most guys are cheaters. I just go oh like yeah well that's good for business ha ha. She says that she is good at noticing people's breathing patterns. Which mine at that point are probably way off normal as I'm trying to scoot to my car. I told her I would love to see this as a show or something but I'm tired and need to go home.nnGod I hate talking to people. How was I suppose to prepare for that?nnNo I haven't cheated on my fiancee despite what some random coworker that I finally had a conversation with in the parking lot says.nnI wanted to say I'm anxious already at a new job AND talking to this new person who then uses my anxiousness as a proof positive that I cheated on my wife.
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I think she accused you to be a cheater as a weird way of hitting on you… in reality she's probably the cheater. Or don't mind cheaters or something, idk it's weird
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I'm at dinner with 7 friends and my friends long distance bf just said, while I was listening intently to him
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Did anyone else react at all?
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The worst anxiety symptom is feeling really hot in my clothes when around others and either sweating and or flushing and just feeling super hot .... I literally hate it and it's a constant fear when socialising
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I wish exposure worked for me. Sadly it doesn't .... that's literally the only real tool for reducing anxiety it seems and it doesn't work for me
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Sorry for the repost but I am still looking for participants. nnHi, my name is Rebecca Dougal and I am currently studying a masters degree in psychology at Northumbria University and I am looking for participants for my thesis.nnI am investigating what aspects of social media use triggers anxiety amongst young people.nnParticipants must be aged 18-30 to take part in the survey, this survey will take approximately 10 minutes to complete. All participants will remain anonymous and this survey does not ask for any personal details apart from your age and gender.nnIf you would like to participate please click the link below:nnhttps://nupsych.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eRQaznXuHE1cmpfnnThank you
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I dont really understand how you spamming your survey across multiple subreddits can provide any sort of accurate or scientific results.nnI'm not part of your target demographic and I could quite easily flood your survey with inaccurate results.nnBut I'm not university educated so what do I know
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Did anyone get their social anxiety from bullying?
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me too
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Suppose I am driving a cycle and worried that others will think of me as poor because I am driving a cycle. Well , why do I only think that they will think that ? Thinking like this make me act and react accordingly and even if they aren't thinking that about me , my anxiety and thoughts and action/reaction will make them think that about me. nnI can choose to think that they are thinking some positive thing about me , that they could also be think these about menn- that he is a rich guy who have many cars who just choose to drive a cycle todaynn- that maybe his car get punctured and that's why he is driving a cyclenn- maybe he have the boss of this cycle company and rides it to promote itnnYou get the gist. If you act/react like one of the options above , people soon will beleive that too.
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I never tried that, good idea. Currently when I have some negative though like that, I just try to ignore them by telling myself it's not my problem if they think that.nnI will try that next time.
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So im a teenager not gonna get into details but my mom is a hardcore christain and she makes me go to this youth thing at our church for like 3 hours and I literally have no friends there i just sit by myself and i even told her i dont wanna go but she still makes me and i hate it i even had a whole breakdown last night about how i dont wanna go because it just triggers my anxiety even more im writing this because im going today at 6 and I really dont wanna go this whole jesus stuff isnt for me
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Im a girl but yea I agree with what your saying.
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When I first saw my doctor she asked if I wanted to try medicating. I chose to try other ways and it has helped a lot. There are times, however, when I have complete control over my thoughts and emotions yet still feel the physical symptoms of my anxiety (especially insomnia). Would this be a good point to revisit with my doctor and discuss my options or should I just deal with it since it is fairly infrequent(once or twice a month)?
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I would say yes, go back. I also opted for just therapy, without medication, but the doctor prescribed me light sedative anyway, not for regular use but to have just in case. And really it is very helpful, when I cannot calm down/overthink/can't sleep, I just take one pill and within half an hour I'm so much calmer. getting good night's sleep is what you need sometimes in order to be able to deal with all the things.
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I have always hated presentations. And this one is especially scary because I'm presenting in front of my new colleagues. I prepared and rehearsed as much as I can. But I can't help imagining how critical people would be. How they would ask me questions and I'll be speechless. I was so ready to break down on the spot.nnBut people are way nicer than I imagined. Even the colleagues I'm scared of showed support to me. I forgot a part of my script and we all laughed about it. They were quite responsive to my content. And some of them complimented me afterwards. Tho one said it could be more concise.nnBut I'm fucking mind blown by how nice people are and how unnecessary my overthinking was! I really wish I could overcome the fear of presentation someday and be proud of my own effort regardless of people's opinion. I know it's a long journey but I still wanna record this small victory I have:)
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Wait that's how it is in high school????nnWelp I'm dead
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My Co Workers plan a night out and they invited me, but i dont know if I should go.nnI am 20 years old (m) and the youngest, all of them (15 people) are older than 25, most of them 30+, and just one of them is a man. I dont know why but i think it will be weird if i go. I dont have much in common to talk with them. But i said to myself i want to try new things and meet with new people, should i leave my comfort zone or would it be better to sit this one out?
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Go out! Exposure is key!
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I will be 40 in 2 1/2 weeks. nnWhen I was 13 I figured out that I was not my Dad's biological child. I was adopted by him when I was 3. When I asked my mom what happened to my biological dad she told me that he
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I have. They wanted me to address it with my mom. So I did. I just wasn't expecting her to respond the way she did. I'm in-between sessions (weekly, for obvious reasons) and I'm just looking for outside perspective in the mean time.
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I was very proud of myself yesterday because I managed to pluck out the courage and call an electrician. We've been having problems with the electricity in the kitchen and can barely use any appliance.nnSo I make this call and finally thought
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Almost the same thing happened to mennI was proud of going on a job interview that i almost ditched because of social anxiety. I failed too, I stuttered and barely answered the question nBut atleast i feel less regretful.nnJust try doing it and practice
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Hey guys, another poll from me. Looking to see what people with SA typically feel when fearing social interactions. Please choose which one best describes you. nnP.S. I've purposely left out some vague feelings such as “afraid of my opinions” since it doesn't specify the root of the fear itself.nnEdit: wow did not think this would blow up. I wish I could reply to everyone but this has given me a lot of material to study. Thank you all for sharing.nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/wqutuz)
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All of this, yes.
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As the tittle says...an ex started fucking with me for a couple days and i felt like a million bucks, she just stopped talking to me and is moving on leaving me behind and i just feel like such a worthless human being. I have no motivation to better myself im afraid to take on challenges because im so afraid of failure and rejection, here iam another weekend locking myself in my room drinking and watching movies to afraid to get out and socialize. My therapist has told me to focus on myself but i just cant...
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Thank you. I just dont feel like i can better myself. I dont know what kind of medication i should be looking for im thinking about asking for anti depressants, ive read good things about beta blockers
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Hey Everyone.nnI am seeking support for depression and anxiety and thought maybe coming here could help. I have chronic depression and have gone to hell and back these last few years. From ECT ... to long hospital stays. I had to leave my job because my coworkers were making my life hell and had 0 empathy. I have a great husband. He's been my friend since grade 11 .... and he does so much for me and is super patient. We have a really great relationship. Never even hit a bad patch. The other day we got in a argument because I was unable to get out of bed and do the dishes and other chores. (Seeing your wife sleep all day while you work your ass off to support us must be so annoying) but i can't even barely move thats how low I get. Well anyways he ended up calling me a burden. AND i don't know how to get over this. It was 100% the most hurtful comment a person could call me because I do everything in my power to make sure thats not true. My biggest anxiety in life is actually a lot to do with me feeling like a burden ... so from hearing it from him really hurt me....nnWhat is your opinions
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Thank you so much for the reply. We did talk it out and he ended up apologizing and what he meant was my anxiety is a burden not me as a person. nnI am new to reddit and already find peer support way more helpful than any psychiatrist appt I've had. Thanks ud83dude0a
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When no one else is in earshot obviously. Most times, I am even better with kids than people who don't have SA. But as soon as anyone my age or older appears, I get super nervous, awkward and quiet.nnI have zero SA around people much younger than me. Anyone else feel the same?
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No, I think I'm more awkward around kids because they're known to be brutally honest and that scares the hell out of me. But my mom and sister who have social anxiety would agree with you. I think kids are cute, but from a distance lol
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What is it? I dont like benzos cause I binge them and they make me feel depressed, plus dont fully solve the problem, Ive tried pregablin and that helped but I heard its very addictive and please dont give me an answer like lavender tea cause there isnt enough to tranquilize me, I just want to be calm and able to talk to people in person
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Kratom sounds perfect for you, it's not terribly difficult to bear any withdrawals and it can make you more social.
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Like it's hard for me to focus on anything else until I get that over with. So when I have an appointment in the afternoon, it's all I can think about leading up to it.
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SAME. Major reason why I don't cancel things is because I can't do phone calls well - or I'm too scared that if I don't show up that they'll call me and I'll have to explain myself.
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After two weeks of waiting, I finally got hired for this retail job and my training starts tomorrow. I'm expected to do a lot of things like stocking, bagging, cashier, etc, but the one I'm worried about the most is cashier. I've struggled with social anxiety all my life and I feel like it's really gonna effect my job. I'm worried I won't be loud enough for the customers to hear, I will sound rude because I talk slow and have a deep voice, I don't sound enthusiastic at all, and when I try it just sounds so cringe. I'm also worried I'd have to count up the change for the customers, and for them to just stare at me while I'm doing it puts a lot of pressure on me. I do have a friend that works there, but he starts later then me and only works for two hours while I'm there, so we probably won't see each other much. But overall like I said, I'm just worried about sounding rude or talking very quiet for them to not hear. And I stutter when I'm nervous too.
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Just think of it as practice. Healing your social anxiety really opens up doors for your future, so just think of everyday you work as a day to practice socializing. It will be uncomfortable but thats where the most growth comes from. Most people arent going to remember you, if that makes you feel any better.
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Has anyone masked sa? nnI think I am learning to do this now that I am taking groupal acting lessons targeted to shy people. It drains a lot of energy but I have found myself unconsciously reacting different when I talk to people and our conversations last longer now. I see this as a positive progress, although I try to not mask too much because its exhausting but anyways it opened new doors.nnCheers
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I think it's a sign of progress. If you feel it comes naturally perhaps it's not that you're masking but rather that you feel more more comfortable using a wider range of expressions, or a mix of both.nnI had to look up what masking means, now I'm pretty sure that's what I've been doing since my teens. I was terrified that someone would see how bad I was feeling, or that I would be judged for lagging behind with school or work, so now I'm expert at hiding it. I'm more open about my anxiety but I still find it really hard NOT to mask it.nnI have GAD and SA, but I'm not displaying my symptoms, and sometimes I'm very good at ignoring them. It's helped me get things done or even have fun, but the long-term habit haven't been healthy. The drain of it catches up to me later and I often feel very strained and uncomfortable. nnI don't think you need to worry unless you start feeling that you're pressuring yourself into it. Just remember to take time to recharge between social stuff. And take joy in your progress!
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Not begging for attention but.. I've been raped by my cousin. Have a narcissistic mother my mom dose not care and dose not listen about anything. dose manipulates anyone thinks shes the best blah blah blah add me to dms cuz that literally non of my troubles
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Alright, I'd like to talk with you.
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I'm wanting to get a psych assessment, but I don't have much support from my family. I'm turning 18 in a couple weeks so I'll be able to make my own appointment if I want to, but I'll still be living under their roof until I move to Utah this fall for school. They're very nosy and controlling parents, so it would be really hard for me to slip away and go somewhere to get an assessment. Additionally, I've never been allowed to work so I'm low on cash.nnI don't know if it's possible, but if there are any ways to do online or over the phone psych assessments for relatively cheap, I'd love the info.
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That's exactly what I'm looking for, thank you!
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I can't tell because I'm anxious either way haha.nnWanna hear what everyone is experiencing? How do you tell if you're socially awkward or if you're in love haha
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I am socially awkward person by nature, but when I'm interested in someone it gets x1000 times worse, it's like I can't even speak.
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A few days ago I watched Bo Burnham's new special: Inside. First off, let me say that if you are in a good place mentally and think you are able, I highly recommend watching it. It was one of the best pieces of media that I have seen in years. nnI tend to avoid emotion and keep it bottled up because I am afraid of burdening others with my issues, but after watching the special, the bottle broke, and everything I've been avoiding hit me at once. I already struggle with high school and feel physically sick when I have to think about how much harder the future is going to be. I often fear that I can't do it and am overcome with a heavy feeling of dread and hopelessness. It's gotten to a point that my mental health is affecting my school work to the point where I might fail some classes. On top of that, I think I might be bisexual, but part of me thinks I'm just saying that for attention since it's Pride month. nnUsually, I just immerse myself in things I love to remind myself that there are good things to look forward to, but lately, I have lost all interest in things and can't find anything that brings me joy. I am grateful that I am not suicidal, but I fear that if things don't get better in the next few months that might no longer be the case.nnWhat should I do?
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Thank you for sharing. Things seem hard at the moment. I remember high school being highly pressurised and very little of the things that we are told makes it the best years of your life.nnAs great as this sub is, nothing replaces diagnosis and treatment from a qualified professional. If you feel you can't approach your parents, a teacher at school should be able to help you find support through them.nnMay I just add congratulations on understanding and starting to be able to express your sexuality. I know it may just be wit internet strangers, but it is an important part of your life and being able to live your own truth is vital for your happiness.
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I am not the most attractive person out there so I feel bad when this happens because I don't want to be seen as desperate and weird or be mocked.
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In middle school, I tend to blush when people were talking to me because I feel pressure when people are just close to me and talking. I just turn red in uncomfortable situations and people thought I had a crush on them which was pretty humiliating. I hate that I can't control it
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Today was bad, first of she told me I was just too lazy to keep in touch with friends and ruining my friendships like a personal choice....sure I choose to suffer why not? Fun isn't it? Being alone, isolated, crying, can't imagine a better day! nnOnto the most painful part.nLater on the talks with her friend who hates me, no kidding she'd kill me if she lived nearby or beat me? Idk.nShe suggested my mother should throw me out, very reasonable since I'm almost 24.nBut what shocked me and made me incredibly sad was that my mother said she's afraid of loosing me since she knows with a 100% chance that I'm never gonna contact her again (in regards to what I do to my friends all the time).nnI don't choose this, I hate this and hearing my own mother saying that broke my heart, I came downstairs and she quickly lowered the telephone volume and glared at me and yelled as I was going upstairs again.nI don't really know, I'm fucked aren't I?
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This was my today, just the different topics. I don't really want to talk about it in public, but could I at least give you the invisible hug? I think we both need it because of what happened today.
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I'm sitting here balling wanting my self harm ideation to go away while listening to my son play with his dad in the other room. I'm depressed and I've been numbly depressed for months and these past two days I just cant stop crying and having intrusive thoughts of making myself vanish. Im doing everything I can to remind myself that this is just my depression and I was happy and content three days ago. But I feel so alone. Once everyone is used to you being a mental instability, they tend not to care when an episode hits full force. My son is the only thing keeping me from acting on these thoughts. I love him and I love myself and I dont want to feel like this anymore. Someone please have some chit chat with me?
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Yes but my area all they do is send the police to evaluate you and leave. Last two times I called the person did not want to have conversation, they just wanted to know if I was going to hurt myself. The lady literally said
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I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who's friendless because of social anxiety. (I used to have one friend at a time, but they all faded away and left me alone). Some people with social anxiety actually have a social circle going on and made some friends, but have difficulties with those friends because of the anxiety. I was wondering how they managed to make friends in the first place, because I still find it so hard to do. As a kid who had social anxiety at school I couldnt even speak, and suffice to say no one spoke to me and I made zero friends. Even nowdays when I am starting conversations sometimes(trying to at least) I still have no luck making friends. Is there anyone like me out there who's stuck in the same rut as I am, or is there anyone who managed to make friends? If so how did you do it? I genuinely want to know, because I feel so alone at this right now.
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Can't even open up to people about it because you don't wanna bother them or you don't want them to judge and think you're a weirdo
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Overcoming social anxiety doesn't mean that you will actually become a normal person right?nMy therapists never tell me that in the end I will be free from my anxiety. They never tell me:
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It actually isn't true that socially anxious people can't become extroverted social butterflies. Extroversion is a totally difference thing, and the confidence to become a social butterfly is also doable.
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Ive been having this weird thoughts due to somatic ocd, like my brain tells me to unfocus my vision and that i would go crazy constantly unfocusing my vision. Also like moving different parts of my body. Of course I avoid doing this things like voluntarily unfocusing my vision but for some reason this thoughs make me hyperaware of my eyes and make me think that at anymoment i might go crazy and start doing it.nnI feel like im going crazy. Does anyone else had thisnnWhat should i do to spot thinking about this? I feel pain in my eyes every time i think about this. Maybe its the anxiety
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i'm like this. it's funny to me now tho as i've dealt with it for so long. do u go to sleep and realise ur eyes roll to the back of ur head? ME TOO
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I'm a 14 year old girl and I really really REALLY struggle with self asteem. I'm so ugly that it's the only thing I can think about. I avoid looking into mirrors but when I do I have a breakdown. I cry at least 1 to 2 times a day (even in school). I can't enjoy things at all as I only think about myself. I hope one day I will just never wake up. I'm planning to get rhinoplasty at 16 and later other things. But I'm struggling to make it i feel as though I will preform suicide before I reach 16. I wanted to ask if anyone knows things I can focus on every day( eg clouring ) that will help the 2 years pass by so I can start to live my life.
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Do not identify with your physical appearance because it is not you. A beautiful spirit can shine through the ugliest face. Watch movies like “the elephant man” or “mask” and learn from people who have it much worse than you who stayed strong. Learn to love and find the real you, and make your spirit shine because that's what counts. Much love, friend.
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like, i can always calm my mind when im anxious, but i always feel tense in certain social situations. i begin to stutter, cant look people in the eyes, etc. i can tell myself theres nothing to worry about but i always feel like im physically panicking in social situations and cant stop it.
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i dunno i use the placebo effect. i do something i tell myself will calm me down and it just works
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Halp! I've been trying to lose weight for about 2 months, my main workout is just run for about 30 minutes with my dog and I've been putting it off for 2-3 weeks and wanna go jogging, I go jogging when it's dark out and want to run during the day, but I always feel like I'm being judged when cars drive by or when someone else is walking down the road, because the area I live you never see anyone else running. I feel fine in grocery stores with my mask on, but I dont feel fine running, at family gatherings like christmas and birthdays, and even talking to friends through video game voice chat
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Remember that even if you trying something like running you are still better than most of other people who would just sit home on their couch and giving sht about their health. You should be already proud of youorself that you are trying something regardless of result. Its not always wrong if you do something different. AND YOU KNOW THAT DOING SPORT IS DEFINETELLY NOT WRONG.
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It's like I switch identity depending on who I am with. I'm tired as fuck of this. When I'm with old classmates or family members that have seen me be awkward and socially inept etc I become an idiot. Even if now I know how to talk to people etc, since they expect me to be like that, I feel judged and become like that. When I'm with the like 4 friends that know me exclusively as I am with them, I feel like myself, or at least a more faithful representation of myself, cause I really feel like myself only when I'm alone and thinking in my head or talking to complete strangers that I'll never see again. I know they won't get to know me so I am fucking me. It doesn't help that where I live everyone knows everyone so I fear that if someone I don't know knows someone that has seen me in school anxious awkward alone etc that person will expect me to be that way and judge me based on that. I'm trying to get out of this thing but it's hard.
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This is 100% me. Only I've never known it as social anxiety until recently (and joining this sub). Looking at my current/past friendships & relationships, they are all strong personalities with great passions. And then, behind closed doors, I compare myself to them and naturally get depressed. That cycle has continued for so many years and now in my 30's it's snowballed into manic depression, identity crisis, and a social phobia so bad I deleted all social media & alienated friends. Sigh. nnBut you say your social anxiety began to go away after medication, that's awesome! Do you mind sharing what meds? How long til you noticed a difference?
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Ever since various social medias got popular amongst my peers: I've never joined. I've always been too afraid to. Mostly because I've always been an outcast and unpopular. I remember all the popular kids at my school having hundreds of followers and all their friends (that I went to the same school as) flooded to their comment section with support. I always just assumed I'd never have that, so I never joined. Because... It would feel embarrassing... to just have no one there...? Plus I don't know, I just don't want people I know to see me.nnAnyway, I've gone through my entire teenage years without having an account that can be connected to me in any shape or form. Sure; I have accounts on some platforms but I always make sure to private them, keep them under different usernames and I make sure that no one can find me. And most importantly, I never post anything.nnI once joined Facebook just to connect my subway surfers account to it (I know. I know.) And I never posted anything on it and I logged out afterwards. A couple of months later I needed to log on it again for whatever reason. To my horror, I logged in to see around 30 notifications: all from people I used to go to the same school as. I deleted that account SO fast. My heart was in my throat. I literally don't understand why they wanted to friend me. (or what the point is. But hey, I don't really understand social media. All I know is that I don't want to see my old classmates.)nnBut now, fast-forward a couple of years... I've decided to join Instagram (because I do art) but I go under another name. I could never, ever imagine sharing my username to my old classmates. I avoid them like they are the plague. Despite me going under another name... I am anxious about them finding me.
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i deleted instagram and tiktok and just stuck to snapchat during my final year of high school as i was a complete reject, a loner and lost all my friends. left school, got my first job obvs at a different job now and yeah still no tiktok or insta. no friends = no followers. whats the point? im barely on snap these days too, yeah i have a high snapscore (just over a million) but it doesnt mean shit tbh. if i was as 'popular' as i looked on snapchat with the score i wouldn't be sitting on these sad depressing sub reddits all day lmao. all you have to do is look through my post history and yeah it speaks for itself. no bit of happiness whatsoever. misery loves company
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I can't believe I did this. But it is too much for me, I didn't want to see my therapist but my mom forced me to, I told her many times that I did not want to, so here I am, walking around the streets pointlessly. I feel extremely bad. I can't even imagine myself coming back home. Help.
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My dude go home you're very fortunate to have one appreciate what you have it's going to be ok bro.
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Riding my bike brings me peace and joy. It's starting to cool down and I wanted to try riding on a trail I've never seen before. I just moved in August so I wasn't familiar with the area and have been too anxious to go by myself all this time. I googled the trail and read reviews of people saying it could be busy sometimes which made me not want to go. I got all dressed up to go and psyched myself out. I finally stopped thinking and just did it. I biked to the trail and there was barely anyone there. It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL scenery and I'm so happy I did it. Sometimes you have to STOP thinking. As someone that overthinks to prepare for every situation, it can be hard. But my mind gets the best of me sometimes and this time I didn't let it.nnHowever at work today I made the mistake of asking my manager about her weekend and she asked me about mine and I told her I road on a trail for the first time and it got super awkward and silent mid convo because I didn't say much of anything to warrant a response back. So I still need to work on my social skills .
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hell yeah, congrats!! i did this thing recently but with running!
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I'd like to know if this medication helps with body flushing as well. Whenever I start talking to someone not just my face starts flaring up, but my chest, ears, arms, and neck does as well. Also I can feel my heart beat so fast and I read it can help with that too. It's very embarrassing and I feel like fainting sometimes :(
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Without knowing any other information, I would say it would. Propranolol is very good for negating the physical effects of anxiety
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Because I'm terrified of social interaction, or even any interaction with people who I haven't known for a long time, interviews and networking and the like are the bane of my existence. I'm afraid this fear will certainly take a toll on my career. I want to know I'm not the only one.
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I recommend reading this, I just finished and am very excited to go out and conquer this stupid fear of people judging men:http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=40
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A big reason why I got reddit was to meet new people and make friends. Would anyone be interested in creating a discord community or something with me? We can use it as a place where we can talk about our struggles, play video games, and I don't know, just make some new friends. A place where we won't judge. Thought it would be a cool idea.
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Did anybodynnEnd up making a discordnnServer or something?nn- VanNightholmenn---nn^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^(https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)nn^(Opt out of replies:
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So I wanted to start taking a sleep supplement that includes valerian root. I have negative experiences with prescription sleep aids, so I wanted to try the herbal route. I've also read that it can alleviate some anxiety symptoms too, which would be a lovely bonus! I asked my psychiatrist and he said it's fine and there's no negative interactions with my antidepressants, and obviously he's the doctor but I'm still paranoid because the internet is giving me mixed messages. Does anyone have any experiences in taking valerian root (good or bad) with antidepressants they'd be willing to share? Specifically I'm on Wellbutrin and Zoloft. Thank you so much in advance!! I hate being so paranoid about anything I put in my body.
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I used to take valerian (and other herbs) in the form of a tea, and I often combined drinking a herbal tea with smoking cannabis. I found that they worked out well together, and I had no issues.
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As the title says.nnI've mostly beaten the majority of my social anxiety, but it still persists endlessly around girls. nnToday I accidentally arrived in class late. Sitting next to me was one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen. I figured since it was teh first day, it'd be the perfect chance to introduce myself after class.nnClass ends. I chicken out and leave. Dammit, lol.nnOur next class is in two weeks considering our teacher has taken next week off.nnWhy can't I just talk to people. Goddammit.
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It's not weird. It's pretty normal, to me at least. When I'm unattached (interesting choice of word on my part, I guess) I feel a big empty hole. I don't feel perfect with someone but it's better. The hole is part just a lack of connection and physical touch, along with a feeling of lack from other things. It could stem from the BPD traits, I don't know.nnI know people who feel fulfilled on their own, without romantic attachments. That was weird to me, but interesting.nnI was pretty shy and I'm guessing it was undiagnosed social anxiety. I didn't date in high school or college. I managed to make a few friends despite having so much anxiety being around people that I skipped class because it was such hell to be there. nnI didn't have much problem (relatively) chatting with guys as friends (I'm attracted to both genders but have dated more men), I found them more forgiving and easy to talk to than girls. There were no stakes involved at that level. However when I was younger if I had a crush, I would completely freeze up. Now it's difficult, most people are nervous, but nothing like when I was young.nnHaving friends and a routine helps with filling that hole/starved for affection thing too, BTW. Also pets / caring for animals can help. nnnn
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He's not yet my boyfriend but someone I'm seeing, I really care about him and I love him. I do have symptoms of BPD (which I have told him but I'm not yet sure he gets it) and an outgoing person. He's not really an introvert 'cause he still socialize ambivert yet he tells me he still feels anxious about some things; for example when ordering a meal at the counter, or asking for help to a teacher, or doing new things.nnHe also opened up to me how almost everything feels like it's a
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Glad. Good luck and all the best for your future together
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I noticed a lot of my neighbors were outside on our street looking at something. Someone said a crayfish was walking around on the pavement but everyone was afraid to touch it to move it to the ditch where they are often found making their mounds. So I went out there and picked it up and moved it for them. I use to breed them in my animal science class so I know how to handle them. Then I stayed for a few minutes to talk to them. I'm back inside destressing from the brief interaction, but hey. It's something.
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Ayyyy, WTG!!! Yours is the kind of bravery the world really needs right now! Double High-Fives!
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My therapist asked me what I think of this and it caught me off guard. However I think it's interesting to think about it. After a while I came up with two possible benefits. nnFirstly I think that SA has taught me tolerance and empathy - when someone acts unusually I'm not quick to brand him as a bad person, because I know they might have some underlying reason beyond their control.nnSecondly and that is both negative and a positive - I have avoided some bad experiences because of my anxiety. Some of the things I wanted to try but didn't could have led me to some bad situations (for example I didn't go to a trip with friends that ended up with them being robbed). So in fact I have avoided what could have been both good and bad experiences.nnWhat do you think? Are there positives to having social anxiety?
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I feel the same way!
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Hey, I was wondering if anyone has any advice handling someone with social anxiety.nnI've been chatting with one lady(in a dating context), and from time to time, usually when I try to escalate she gets a little avoidant. I confronted her on it once and found out she suffers from social anxiety(she said it's not ideal for dating, I can see why)nnShe recently withdrew from me, after I suggested meeting up(she already agreed to meet, I was trying to make specific plans), I got a feeling I triggered something. Any advice how to contact them and make them comfortable? I tried the day of and the day after, but perhaps my approach was wrong, I'd say stuff like
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Well, I might of been putting too much pressure. She agreed a while ago but we agreed to wait a week. Then we planned, but it was kinda' wish-washy.nnOn one of the days, I called her, she said she wasn't feeling well(she told me this was likely earlier) but when I brought up future plans she said she will text me when she gets home. Then she did text me saying she's back. Since then:silence.nnSo idk what to do really, I'd like them to feel comfortable getting back to me. :/ I tried contacting them today
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It's a weird thing to admit being nearly 30 and no real job or work experience but I was just hired as an assistant and I'm honestly both relieved and terrified, and overwhelmed.nnSocial anxiety has robbed me most of my life. It's the biggest reason why I could never do anything like a real job. To say SA is crippling is an understatement. Two years ago I started therapy for anxiety and social anxiety. Little by little I somehow worked my way here. While I'm glad I made the steps to get to this point I'm not sure if I can do this or if I'll be able to long term. Most people already have good work experience around ages 19-25 and I'm starting from scratch at such an older age. I feel behind. More so my SA is kicking into high gear and I havent even started yet.
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I'm very close to your age and I can say I hope to do the same thing you are achieving now. Needless to say, my resume is basically just education at this point and I hope to take the leap you have soon. nnCongratulations!
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Because of social anxiety, my thoughts and mind are spent worrying about the next thing I'm going to say or how everyone reacts to it rather than just u201cbeing myselfu201d. In those few moments when I'm able to keep the anxiety down, I feel like a different person entirely as I'm more personable, kinder, more well spoken and more aware of my surroundings. Or maybe it just seems that way because I'm not worried about what people think about me. I don't know, has anyone found good anxiety management techniques?
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yes and honestly its true, i have no personality around people. im just a silent and anxious mess, thats all.
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Ok so, lemme start off by saying that every friend i've ever had came up to me first, I've never actually had a friend where I went up to him and started a conversation (mostly because I cant) last year I was in my old school where I had at least a couple of friends I was a bit comfortable around, but 5 months later it all fucking changes, I move to a new school, its been 8 weeks since i've started going to it, I havent talked to anyone, I cant socialize, often I see someone that might look like a cool person but the idea of me going up to them and talking just makes me have a headache, I don't have any friends, and I feel super lonely, i fucking hate being like this, I wish i could be like the other kids and actually socializennif anyone actually gives a fuck and read this, thank you for listening, I just had to get this out somewhere
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yeah I've looked at the symptoms and I have most of them
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Does anyone else really dislike this common tip you get when you mention having social anxiety? I honestly can't stand reading through posts that claim they got over their anxiety by not caring about what others think and becoming some sort of extreme individualist who is only occupied with themselves. I'm not sure if it's just me, or if I'm reading into it incorrectly but not only is it unhelpful, it's also not the person I want to become. To me, it just reeks of misery and isolation and I'd rather live a life obsessed with other peoples thoughts about me than morph into some hermit who has become completely desensitized to the people around them.
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These people with SA probably experienced the result of their healing/growing process as caring less and less what others think, and mistakenly thought this result was actually the action they were taking to get better, when really they weren't aware of the actions that were healing them in the first place. (These people prob had it less severe too) nnI think the thing is this:nnSocial anxiety is a disorder not a personality trait. It's not apart of us, rather just with us. nnSo I think normally as humans we mildly care what others think, what we think of ourselves, at healthy levels. But social anxiety is an extreme fear forcing us to think people think the worst of us, and it's a fear of rejection, and a fear of death itself! (Evolved social behavior to keep us with a tribe for survival- SA is this behavior but if it had Corona virus HIV AIDS and was under the forces of a demon all at the same time).nnI think the only way to get better is to separate SA from yourself and realize it's forcing you to think so negatively. This is what's helping me and to do this takes tons of reflection and analyzing past experiences when SA came up. Look at every little detail, talk to yourself, and say hey demon get up on up out of here. I've almost separated it from myself so that it's just a feeling, like just the presence. nnNow- I think I want to befriend and accept SA to the max core. I'm going to try to train my mind to use that feeling, that terrible energy, for a positive thing. nOr in my head I'm going to see it as evil and think of getting better as an all out war with SA lol I'm not really sure what to do yet.
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I am losing my mind. I've been dreading this day ever since I got accepted to university and now it's here.nnNo idea what to do. I'm so unbelievably scared that I'm going to embarass myself that I haven't been able to think straight for the entire day so far. I seriously want this to be over. Another 6 hours of waiting with anxiety, nervousness and panic.
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Try to get prescribed beta blockers by a doctor. As someone that has suffered from social anxiety my entire life, this is the only thing that has allowed me to do presentations.
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When I'm talking to people, especially when I'm feeling more social anxiety than normal, I find that the only way I can feel like I'm keeping the conversation normal is when I relate everything back to me. nn it's the only thing I can talk for the longest time about. If I ask them about themselves I can't really focus, I am too preoccupied with forming a response to their thoughts/experiences, I'm anxious, and also... I usually don't care about what they are saying even though I am feigning interest. I guess I am self centered but that is usually the case. nnSo yea it's a combination of me feeling like the only thing I can actually form a conversation around is my experiences and opinions on things, and also me getting bored easily of what they are talking about.
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Pretty much same with me..
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I told her about my anxiety disorder, she smiled at me the whole conversation and the things she said made no sense, I felt like she was laughing at me, I was so uncomfortable because of her, then at the end of the session she literally asked me to pay her, she was afraid I wouldn't pay, lmao, what the fuck? She had the audacity to ask me if I would come back after this session, what's wrong with her?
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The first one makes sense. They want to make sure there isn't a misunderstanding
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I have been struggling with insomnia since school started (about 3 weeks). I have had insomnia before but this time it's just not going away. This week I've slept about 11 hrs in total (3 hrs Tuesday morning, 5 hrs Thursday and 3 hrs Friday). I suspect that it's caused by my anxiety because I'm in a completely different school environment this year and as I don't have any friends yet it is stressing me out :(nnI went to the doctor a year ago and was told that I'm too young to take sleeping pills. I take melatonin every night, don't drink coffee, exercise daily, etc etc and nothing works.
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>If you are able to fall asleep with earphones try to play some hypnosis on yt.nnI can't fall asleep with my phone open, it makes me so worried, especially if I have data on.nn>You know there are specific foods making you sleepy? Like turkey or onion.nnDon't know of anything like this.nn>Is possible for you to take some of ValeriannnTried it and it didn't work but I guess I could try again..nn>If you are a girl after puberty you might also try hops.nnTried this as well... nothing.
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Hi all. nI ran out of antidepressants so I'm laying in bed awake at this hour because I can't sleep :( nnAm I the only one who feels like they are so isolated and alone even though I have people around me who live me ? I could do with some new friends to be honest people who get it.
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It doesn't go away. But we learn to live with it
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nSo here's the situation. I've always struggled with anxiety my whole life. Sometimes it's been fine where my life wasn't hindered by it and sometimes it's been so brutal that it has crippled my life. There's been 2 times that has happened. Once in 2019 from a bad reaction to cannabis and most recently this July which has persisted till now. In July I went to go see my doctor about my headaches and how I was worried I could potentially have a brain tumour. When the brain tumour was ruled out he said we needed to work on the anxiety that I've had for 7 years. He recommended I try lexapro. I took it for 3 days and it made me feel worse (naturally I didn't realize that was really a thing cause I didn't research it) on the third day of it amplifying my intrusive thoughts and making me way more anxious I had a panic attack in my sleep and slept for maybe an hour and a half that night. In the morning I said to myself fuck that I'm not taking that again. I then went to my fathers to stay there for the week while the drug exited my system. Well that 1 week has turned into 5 and I'm currently an anxious mess. Constant intrusive thoughts and constantly feeling in fight or flight. It's been debilitating and is ruining my life. So much so that I've ever considered suicide this past week because the anxiety is so bad and is 24/7 constant. On Wednesday I spoke to a very nice and intro quite psychiatrist who diagnosed me with GAD and PURE O. His recommended plan of action is that I take Clonazepam for 2 days to bring my system down and to a less amplified state. He then wants me to try Zoloft and see if I can handle the side effects. I'm assuming he wants me to use the Clonazepam as a bridge while the Zoloft gets in my system for say 2 weeks and until the Zoloft side effects lessen and starts to work. I may add that I am very scared of medication especially after feeling as thought lexapro is what got me here in this state. It's been a month and a half of constant debilitating anxiety and I just need help. Have any of you had severe anxiety and tried this method of bridging out or this specific match of bridging medications?has Zoloft worked for you with decreasing constant intrusive thoughts and anxiety? Please let me know and get back to me as I would seriously appreciate it.
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Could this have been the result of improper dosage? Sounds like it was high for you. May I ask how much they had you on?
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