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I've noticed that really successful people are usually really good communicators. I'm going to school to earn my BA in Healthcare Administration, which I know involve a lot of social interaction. nnIt's hard enough for me to talk in front of a small group without me feeling like I am going to pass out from this crippling anxiety. nnI feel like I'm just set up for complete failure dealing with this disorder.
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This is a one sided way of thinking. There's ways to control your anxiety and improving from it with practice so you can do what you have to in order to succeed in your desired field. Straight up saying it's impossible to be successful with SA isn't the encouragement they're looking for and it's also not entirely true.
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I get extremely nervous when coworkers start joking about sex or sex related things? Even lightly sexual related like twerking? nWhen they make jokes even about twerking i get extremely quiet because i have nothing to contribute and it gets obvious that im in deep thought or nervous.nIve seen it happen with people like these, when ever something
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Like i said i dont have a choice. Its not like i can get up and walk away from my station and let them deal with patient just because i dont like what the convo is and how they talk about personal or relationship stuff. nnAnd do i take their jokes, comments or insenstive questions serious? No ofc not but my point is i dont want to be around it all period. And its not just jokes. Its insensitive questions and comments too.
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Why is it that everyone my age has a better life than me? I'm grateful for everything I have but I'm not happy. I don't have any friends. 0. I don't get a single text message. Maybe this is because I haven't been in school since I was 14 and now I'm 17. That means I haven't had a social life or proper friend in 3 years. I see people my age going out with their friends, getting text messages, having fun. I don't do shit.nnIt's definitely my personality change. I used to be charismatic and loud but I got quiet and depressed. My cousins tell me I'm no longer the same. Is it because I grew up or did I change for the worse? Should I change my personality?nnHow do you make friends when you don't leave your house, go to school, or have a job? It's impossible right? Should I get a job and try to make friends? My depression and anxiety is mainly stemming from the fact that I feel intimidated by people my age and what they've accomplished. I'm a loser.
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No problem, hope it gets easier for you soon <3
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I have a long history of depression and anxiety and I've gotten a pretty good handle on it now, I think. I know I'm having a
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Just take a day in the month and don't worry about stuff. Push all the crap of life aside. And do whatever you want eat whatever you feel like eating Do stuff involving your interest and just take a mental break from all the stress.
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Even when people actively invite you to things, or haven't done anything to make you feel like you're not a part of the group?
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If there's more than 3 people, including myself, I get like this. I really can't take a lot of people.
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Gonna be graduating soon and I realized there isn't one person in my class that really knows anything about me or that I had more than a 2 minute conversation with during 4 years of university.nnAnyone else in the same boat?
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I love those people
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my anxiety is extremely severe. i cant do anything at all. everything involves being social. work- you need to socialize, school - you need to socialize, purchasing things - you need to socialize. yes it's possible to do all these w/o much social interaction, but it's infinitely harder and more terrorizing. nnyou wipe off my social abilities, you wipe off my life. and it's not just me that's this way... it's true for every1 including the most social ppl on the planet. nni want to be a patient indefinitely at the hospital until im cured or mostly ok. i don't want to go to a doctor, get a pill, and get sent home. my anxiety is so bad it's disappointing, i live every day in terror. it's like a terrorism attack happening everyday/every second for me in my mind... nnmy hopes are at an all time low, my desperation is sky high.
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I'm all for you doing that! Was an intern in a psych ward and there were a loads of success stories, mostly dependent on how open the patient is to accept some challenges. I am not sure how confident you are in your telephone call skills, but if you don't have an issue there, I'd recommend to call the ward directly. Just call the hospital information and they will connect you to the ward. You can ask them if they have beds and what exactly you need to do, since that may actually be different around the globe. nnGood luck, my friend!
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I have difficulty talking to people because I feel like nothing I talk about really matters to them. I don't know how to start a conversation neither how to how to keep it going.nAnd when i have the courage to talk about something, I usually get interrupted or ignored.
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How could you know I'm not an uninteresting person if you never met me? Otherwise the concept of an interesting person would be redundant. I've been described as intriguing at best, and I know for a fact I'm not interesting.
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I love the creative side of dressing up so I thought I'd dress up as Michael Jackson “Thriller” zombie. nnI got the jacket, wig, and special FX makeup so I was super excited. However, I just thought what if someone asks me to do the “Thriller Dance”? Like, the famous part where he hold his hands up on each side? nI don't want to do that. I'm way too shy. I cant return or even exchange my costume to the store. All sales are final. I spent way too much now I feel bad.
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I can't think of a time when I was asked to impersonate a character while dressed up for Halloween. That just my anxiety assuming lol
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I get so anxious calling on the phone and then going inside to pay and pick up take out ! Normally my spouse does this and I'm so dependent on him. How can I over come this irrational fear? I've gotta eat lol ud83eudd7a
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Okay so my advice would be to stop relying on your spouse and start addressing your fear with exposure. Within CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) exposure therapy is used to normalise and desensitise your phobias / fears. Things will be more difficult before they get easier. A simple analogy to how this works is being affraid of amusement park rides. Initially you will be apprehensive of the rides, but as you tackle each ride and build yourself up your confidence will also build until youre ready to take on the biggest ride there.
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What would your life be like?nnYou wake up one day and.you no longer have anxiety.nnWhat is that like?nnWhat are you able to do?
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Well, that's good you don't feel like you're failing. Good man (or woman). nn
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So recently my mum signed me up for english lessons (I'm Polish and I'm still learning english), but that course is focusing on talking and I didn't knew about that. It's two and a half hour of talking practically without breaks, with strange people and in foreign language. Everytime I'm thinking about it I just want to hide in my room. I didn't go to last lesson, because I was about to cry and I wanted to throw up. The problem is that I feel like I should go or else I will disappoint my parents, but it's to much for me. So now I have dilemma, and I don't know what I should do.
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I would go if I were you. I completely understand your fear, but always remember that the worst part of anxiety is the before and after. In other words, being really nervous about the future and regretting and worrying about your actions in the past. The present is always terrifying, but as long as you dont have a breakdown you will get through it. It's okay to be quiet!nnI know it is horrible, but I believe you can get through it!nnI hope this helped
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I was wondering if anyone has any hobby suggestions that would be good for slowly easing me into interacting with strangers? Aside from lessons and meeting up with friends every other weekend or so, I really don't do that much out of the house or talk to many people. I feel if I was exposed to more people in general, it would really help.
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I do two types of volunteer jobs in my spare time - one working for a charity shop, and one doing conservation work. nnThe charity shop work definitely helps me interact with people more because I have to face customers and work closely with other staff and volunteers. It helped me gain confidence for my paid job. nnThe conservation work, while I love it because it gets me outside working with nature, does not really do anything for my people skills, because I choose my own quiet space to work in and i become so focused on the activity that I neglect chatting with the other volunteers, except at the end of the shift when we put our tools away and go home.
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Anything positive?
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For sure. There have been times where someone has been dismissive of me and I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt, like maybe they also have social anxiety (after I thoroughly overthink the situation)
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I'm taking anti-depressants starting about a week ago and I've struggling with anxiety for all of my life and depression (diagnosed recently but i bottled it up very well, well enough for no one to be suspicious) and i lost all my emotions. The only time i feel anything is when I'm pissed to a point where i want to chop down a tree or so sad that i wanna lie down all day and never even try to do anything. I just want suggestions on how to feel any sort of emotions. Right now I'm so fucking sick of everything that's happened so far in my life and i just want help, that's all.
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Thank you
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I tried a few and they either dont work for me or give me awful side effects, anything else helped you other than ssri's?
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I was on benzos for a while and yeah it was like my social anxiety disappeared, but they dont work for me anymore sadly i build tolerance too quickly
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I've had SA for my entire life...I've never had real best friends that I would go out and spend time with..nDue to that I had to spend a lot of time at home..I used that time to study hard..I became the first of my class for many years and I got into faculty of medicine..nI figured out that's gonna help me with my SA..when you get high grades people tend to somehow look at you differently and try socialize with you and come to you for help with their studying.nnActually looking back at it I think I would never have got into faculty of medicine if I hadn't had SA..but I won't hesitate to give all that away just to be SA free..nnWhat about you? How did you use your own
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This is me... The thought of returning to employment, and school for that matter, make me physically sick. Which is pathetic. Which makes me depressed. And then the cycle continues until I play video games or something.
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I was on the beach and this really hot girl walked by. We made eye contact and I managed to say hey and she high fived me. I don't think I could've had a conversation with her though because I could feel that anxiety building up as she came closer. I don't know if she even wanted to have a conversation as she was with her friends but still it was nice. I've only approached random women like two times in my life but it's something I want to get better at. Do you guys have any tips or want to share your experience? How do you find dates?
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i totally feel you. i think it helps to first become good at making those connections and putting in the effort, which it seems like you are really trying to do!! i know chatting with people on the internet isn't exactly the same as chatting with people irl, but getting comfortable around others is honestly a huge part of gaining confidence to have more control over all aspects of your life. what matters is taking those small steps to get over the larger hurdles that seem more intimidating (like getting to those stages of dating). you are doing great so far, just take your time and push those boundaries as much as you feel comfortable with.
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So anxiety is one thing when quitting a job but I have another problem. Technically I have been working there for like 2 months but only now they called me and are actually teaching me how to do my job since I have no job experience. I need to quit next month because I already have different plans for the summer so I seriously have to do this. Do you guys think that they will think that Im dumb or be mad at me for quitting so soon? its a part time job at a super market. Do you guys think I should quit over the phone or there physically? any response is appreciated
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I think in this context, your resignation will be just another day at work for your manager, I don't see much reason for them to be upset. My strategy would be to just flag the manager down the next time you see him and just say something like
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It was very difficult for me with my social anxiety
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That's one of the reasons why I haven't gone yet.(i barely graduated hs 3 yrs ago) Hs was already difficult, I can't imagine how college would be.
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Hello, at the moment I'm wondering and I need your help:nn&#x200B;nnIt may sound strange, but lately I'm afraid of the dark, and it's getting really scary. Sometimes I start to have small hallucinations that scare me at first, then as soon as I start to think about things that scare me, I start to see some kind of
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I have no worthy advice, but myself, i learnt to love darkness over my life, enjoy its calmness and emptiness. The most calming thing for me is to stare in the dark abys and listen to some dark ambient. Like that one https://soundcloud.com/wepwawet/haya
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How did u find out you had it? Did u suspect u had it? Did u google it? Did u tell someone?
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Umm I did it 10 years ago, just searched the side effects that I had from in and got the name
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I would imagine the majority of those who suffer with Social Anxiety are introverted but I'm curious if there is any correlation with the MBTI type. nnSince there is no poll option I'm going to comment the types and you can just like the comment if it's your type. nnI'll also place a link to the free test if you don't already know your type.nnhttps://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
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INFP
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This hurts my heart. So much. It is the greatest source of shame for me. I just don't have the courage to ask a girl out. Please tell me I'm not the only one..
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Consider yourself lucky…heartbreak is no joke…sometimes better to be alone than to have put so much time into someone only for them to cheat on you and run off with someone else or just dump you out of the blue for no significant reason. Stay single, relationships are not all they're cracked up to be.
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How did you do it!?nnI've been wondering this for so long (25M, never been in a relationship or kissed or anything), but I didn't know the right way to ask it.... I've often seen and read about people (who seem to have much more worse social phobia than I have) who are in relationships or have been in the past.nnIt's really mind-boggling to me, because I can talk to most strangers sufficiently, but I begin to get shaky and feel sick at even the thought of approaching a girl and attempting to start a conversation. I have trouble keeping a conversation going with my friends of 10 years, let alone a stranger I'm nervous to talk to and trying to attract.nnWhat is the secret? How have you socially anxious people gone about meeting partners, either now or in the past? Especially if you're someone who suffers from so much anxiety you can't talk to restaurant servers or barbers?nnI've recently been trying to hype myself up to finally try to talk to a girl, but it's making me so stressed, I'm jittery and can barely sleep. I could really use some tips. Thanks.
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I've done it, I feel like my natural charm and money kinda naturally help me with this but I've been single since 2019 after a 3 years relationship with my hs girlfriend. I actually realized she wasn't making me happy, she also had social anxiety (anger issues too) so are relationship was weird at times but intimacy was never a problem despite my fear of Initiating. But it took a lot in me to actually realize she was bringing me down and causing my depression and anxiety to spike. It took me several attempts to break up with her. We dated for 3 years but I can truly say I only enjoyed like 1/3 years. nnWhen we eventually broke up (we broke up twice because I thought I couldn't handle being alone again) nnBut the relationship was dead by this point, we were glamorized f buddies.nnSo now I'm single and actually feeling sorta confident enough to jeopardize my mental health and finally reenter the dating seen after this crazy year.nnHonestly I'm tired of being alone and I'm look for a mature partner now. I'm a young guy but loyalty is everything to me.
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I don't think I have social anxiety - but maybe something sort of like it? I'm not sure what to call it.nnI have this irrational fear/anxiety/??? whenever I'm doing something I'm not comfortable with. But only in things or activities that that are commonplace. I woudln't feel awful about not knowing how to perform surgery or not being able to breakdance.nnSome examples... I saw a post earlier here about a guy being very uncomfortable going to a gym because he doesn't know how to use the machines or lift weights properly - exact same thing for me. It's not so much that I'd be a fat guy in a gym (though that's there too) but that I wouldn't know how to do something really simple and basic.nnI never eat at bars by myself because I'm not comfortable there, but it is not that bars make me uneasy; I can go there with friends no problem. If I go on my own I start thinking
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The DMS-IV categorizes this as Generalized Anxiety. It often piggybacks on other types.nnhttp://gad.about.com/od/symptoms/a/dsmiv.htm
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Because it fucks up what you can do, basic human activites like making friends and dating are 100x harder, and affects negatively nearly every facet of life. God damn I'm so pissed right now, maybe should have posted in r/rant. Having SA is like playing life on hardcore mode, I envy people without it so much.
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Only a problem when you don't taper off. Trust me I've been through it and I'd do it again. The relief is worth it.
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So I started a job recently. I'm am engineer, which should be a relatively safe job for someone like me with SA. However, it turns out my job consists of constantly interfacing with heads of each department. I have meetings every day with our customers, managers and other engineers. I really feel having SA makes it very difficult for me to do even some of the smallest tasks, like getting the help from the proper person. Or interfacing with the proper people to request documentation. It sucks.
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I knew being an engineer wouldn't be a walk in the park. I didn't choose it because it was a way to avoid social situations. However, I did fall into a position that strives directly on interactions with others. I have to make sure each part of the product is working well, so I have to interact with every single department, plus customers, plus product managers. There are many other people in my office who only have to deal with me coming to them (or the handful of people in similar roles as me) and for the most part keep to themselves. nnThis was more a post about frustration. I can be given a simple task of varifying with a hardware guy if the drawings are correct, which should be a 20 minute job. But I can stretch this task out to over 2-3 hours by sitting at my desk figuring out how to walk over to the hw guy and what I will say, how I will ask it, and how to prepare for any questions he has for me.
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hi everyone. I've recently started developing severe depression and I have a hard time maintaining relationships. I've come to terms that a lot of my friendships were toxic and I don't really have any friends right now. I feel very very lonely and I feel like nothing will ever be okay. I really want friends like really good friends and even a boyfriend one day but I just feel very doubtful partly because of my social anxiety and I dont know how i'll ever find anyone but also because so many people out there are mean and hurtful and i'm scared of getting hurt again
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I am 17 years old, so in my country it resembles upper high school! It feels very reassuring to hear this because I was about scared of when I start university in two years as well. But from my perspective so many people my age aren't really developed yet and can't see consequences of their actions. I have like two friends outside my school that I am okay close with, not super but it's okay. My friends in school talk to me sometimes but mostly they just like let me follow them around and that doesn't feel really nice either. I've said that I have social anxiety but they dont seem to understand it. They also never invite me to hang out with the outside of school and that makes me feel like okay i'm only allowed to be with them in school then
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it's not that i'm sicidal i just can't handle the burden of doing things anymore. i'm falling behind and i can't seem to ever catch up. i'm exhausted but no matter how much sleep i get i'm always going to wake up tired. i live each day as the same and i feel like i'm being used and hated and i walk through life hating myself. i don't want to live just so i can finally catch a break from the constant exhaustion that comes with living. i'm stuck and i don't know how to get out please help me
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You tube is great for helping with school work.
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I feel like with social anxiety I'm missing out on everything. I got invited to a birthday party that's tomorrow by one of my friends that I've known for 10 years. Any normal person would be excited right, well I'm not. I'm feeling really anxious to the point where I feel like saying I can't go. I'm only 15 and it feels like I can't have a normal life. I should be happy going to the party I should want to go but it's hard. I feel like I'm missing out on stuff I hate having to cancel plans with people but it feels like too much. I'm a teenager this is my last chance to be immature and so stupid things and have fun yet I'm here being scared of doing all that. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?
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Update: I just got back and it didn't go great but it wasn't terrible. I went and I tried putting myself out there and that's all that matters :)
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how do you deal with wanting to socialize or just be around people, but still being too scared to do it? what's some skills to fight the loneliness without actually being around people?nn(don't say
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thank you for those tips!
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Diagnosed BP, GAD, PTSDnnI was stable for many years on my meds, but over the past year I've had to be removed from almost all my psych meds. The APs were starting to trash my liver and now another medical condition I was diagnosed with this year is going to prohibit me from taking anti-anxiety medications that work with BP.nnHas anyone else have this issue? How do you manage your MI?
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I manage by having ECT.
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When I wake up in the morning I drink exactly 1 cup of red wine (yes I measure it out) this helps my anxiety tremendously. It cuts the edge and makes me a million times more sociable... but I'm somewhat tentative towards doing this, I've heard horror stories of people turning into full blown alcoholics from anxiety. Any thoughts? Does anyone else do this?
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Alcohol lowers your inhibitors and
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I found a YouTube video a year ago where I just pull my hair together at the front of my head and cut at an angle, and while it's not perfect I totally can get rid of my own split ends and have some layering at the front. I have pretty long hair and my husband doesn't usually notice I've cut off a few inches. Social anxiety win!!!
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I have dreadlocks, just clean and that's it
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I had social ansiety beetween 12-26 years old. I feel I am healed, but I still notice some after-effects. For example, I learned few months ago about attachment styles and I realized I was Fearful avoidant. Someone here in the same situation? I would like to understand if I am fearful avoidant due to social anxiety, or if it works the opposite: I had social anxiety because of my insecure attachment style.nnMy parents are great and I feel gilty when I think about this problems I have had in my life and I try to understand what really happened.
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Yes exactly. It will feel good to emotionally intimate. The process getting there is painstaking because of the anxiety. nnI try escaping those moments due to the awkwardness.
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The absolute worst part of my social anxiety is not being able to make any close or real friends. I'm not sure if I'm in the minority here but I can kinda get through short interactions with strangers because my logic is whatever happens I won't see them again so it's fine but when I have to see someone again or I want to get close to anyone, my social anxiety goes haywire. I can't have banter or get comfortable or maintain a conversation. I can't get a word in edgewise in groups. I can't really express myself at all, I'm just a very tense, nervous and awkward wreck. Does anyone relate to this kind of social anxiety? With that fear of getting close to someone, or being yourself? And any tips to get past this?
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Yess! >:DnnBtw I'm sorry for the main comment guy getting all the notifications xDD
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I don't really know what I'm doing on here but I'm just feeling really bad and I thought I would search for some sort of support? I don't really have any family except for my mom. I used to but they all left and don't speak to me anymore. I had friends but they all eventually left. The most recent friends I had I was really happy with, but then I guess they got bored of me so now they've started doing everything without me. And no one talks to me. I suffer with anxiety and depression and I think most of my depression is from the sadness of being alone. I feel like I'm the only person left in the world it is so lonely. I try my best to be a good friend to everyone but there must be something wrong with me if they all leave. I don't really know what I'm expecting to get from writing this on here this is my first post on Reddit. Maybe just some relief from writing it down? Or some advice? I'm not really sure. I just don't know what to do anymore
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Hey, I am so sorry you have felt that way, your feelings are so valid and I hope you are doing alright. Thank you so much I really appreciate everything you've said and I will definitely take your advice and try to do that!
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I recently came to the painful realization that I'm an unpleasant person.nAt some point I acquired meanness and cynicism as defense mechanisms and now it's all I am. I'm so afraid of people thinking I'm sensitive or weak that i retaliate by being mean. nI didn't realize how bad it was until yesterday, I was in a group situation and I started to feel anxious and I blurted out something really hurtful by accident. nnNot just that, I rarely ask people about themselves, I barely smile, I tend to only talk to people I'm comfortable with. nnI come off as an extremely unapproachable person.nnSo yay social anxiety is turning me into a toxic person to make sure I do in fact stay friendless and lonely forever. Cheers.
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Cynicism, sarcasm, hot-blooded and mean are my middle names by now. Useful to have a walk in big cities without being bothered, a pain in the ass when it generates petty conflicts with your relatives. I've been seeing a psychologist about it, and started reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. It helps a bit, tbh.
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social situations are still really hard for me to handle in real life, but I can manage those slightly better for some odd reason. interacting with people online is a nightmare though. it's really hard for me to send a tweet or reply to one on twitter, or reply to something reddit, or send a message in a discord server or so on without at least overthinking everything i typed or how people will perceive me for what i had to say for like 20 minutes straight. for instance, i'm in a small discord server with a friend group and i haven't been active there for months just because of how scared i am of sending a message there. even as i'm typing this post i'm shaking lol.nni'm just kinda wondering if there's anybody here that feels the same way about this, cause i feel like i'm totally alone in this feeling lol.
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Same.. you aren't alone in this feeling but I would say I am more confident online (much, much more) than in real life.
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(17M) my friend (16F) is having a halloween party that we talked about earlier this month and she said it was going to be in the woods in an abandoned cabin. Obviously I told her “nah I don't think I'm allowed to be out that late in the forest” because murders/attacks run rampant where I live especially the specific location she brought up.nnNext week she brings it up again and says that it's just going to be at her house, to which I was happy that I could probably go since I've mustered up enough courage to to go parties lately without having panic attacks which I was personally proud of.nnBut now she's saying it's back in the woods in the abandoned cabinnnI really want to go but I know it's probably just going to be a bunch of stoners and since I can't smoke because of lung complications I'll just feel left out which was fine the last few times (literally no one my age DOESN'T smoke around here) but if its in the middle of the woods I have no way to leave safely if I start getting anxious.nnI just feel crappy and want to know if it's worth it or just to stay home and not risk having a panic attack in front of a bunch of people.nnEDIT: I'm not going, it's not safe and even if it was it wouldn't be enjoyable. I was already 90% on not going but I've made up my mind now.
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I'd stay home anything in the woods is asking for trouble. There will be safer opportunities to go to parties in the future.
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I'm 14 yrs old and I'm on a new school, I have no idea how to talk to people so I just sit and listen to music I have 1 friend outside of school but I only see her in vacations. I would like to have a few good friends where I can talk to.nnFor the past week I have just been looking around and change who I am to fit in as much as possible so I don't stand out.nnAny help on making friends would be appreciatedn(feel free to correct grammar mistakes)
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Same lil bro
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I've been battling mental illness most of my life. A couple years ago there was an affair due to my depersonalization and I had a mental breakdown and ended up being homeless and moving states. With my depersonalization this was easy to do and I did it to get away from everything and work on my mental health. Well a couple weeks ago I had an episode where my brain wouldn't let me eat for 4 days. I got to the point where my blood sugar was incredibly low, I'm diabetic too. 2 days later after I slowly started eating again. All these memories of my son came back. I had lost all memories for a while. I went from calling him once a week to almost every day and sometimes multiple times a day. I'm crying a lot but I'm very glad this happened. Just not sure what happened.
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Oh wow didn't notice, thank you!
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For people I do not know/know well, texting them for certain reason can really stress me out. For instance, I could take like a day or 2 to just craft out a normal message to say hi to another party. I usually craft out my message pretty quickly but tend to overthink at how the person will perceive the message or how stupid it sounds. Then, I will keep changing the message and sometimes eventually not send the message even though deep inside I really want to send it. Even if I do send it eventually, I will switch off all notifications so I do not see that the person actually has replied me.nnHowever, for like really close friends, I tend to send the stupidest texts and Im ok with that. Is this normal? I feel so perplexed by my own actions.
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wow this is actually like a summary of what i feel hahahah guess we are not alone !!
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It feels like a guessing game to me. Guess what is the most correct thing to say next. Other people always seem to just be part of the flow, but whenever I finally open my mouth, it feels like I shut down the flow of the conversation and I feel like people don't even understand what I said, which makes me just as confused as they do.nnJust five minutes ago this happened. I made a casual remark that I thought was a logical thing to say in the context and I don't see how it'd be wrong or anything but the two guys just kinda quietes up and made a
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Can you eloborate how the conversation between the 2 guys went and what you said?
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I hate asking questions, evening asking one question in an entire day make me feel like I'm annoying them. I think people consider me an idiot and I think I don't have any skills to be successful in my field or life
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I always think my friends hate me or are one wrong word away from hating me.
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New here and this is my first post on Reddit. Was pretty hesitant to post here but I'm feeling nervous/anxious about starting a new job after being unemployed for the past 6 months. nnIt's currently almost 4am and I have to be up at 8am. Don't think I'm getting any sleep tonight. Will probably spend the rest of the night overthinking and worrying about everything that might happen at work. nnWhat if I mess up a simple task? What if I'm too slow or can't perform up to standard? I'm naturally quiet and introverted. I hardly talk to anyone. What if people think I'm weird or stuck up? nnI know it will probably turn out fine. But what if it doesn't? I tend to worry too much about things that haven't happened. I just find it hard to take the first step. nnAlso, I think I'm just procrastinating sleep because when I sleep, time flies. I close my eyes and the next time I open my eyes, I have to go to work and face reality. I don't think I'm ready for that. nnNot sure what's the point of this post. Just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings and maybe anyone who's going through similar things will know that they're not alone <3
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Good luck! I started a new job about two months ago after being unemployed for over a year due to anxiety and I'm still working there. Like you said the first step is the hardest, just remember that it'll get easier with time.
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I'll just say drugs and my dual diagnosis bring on a lot of anxiety. I have GAD, depression as well as social anxiety. nnI literally dread making phone calls. If I need to contact a company or anyone for that matter I'll go to the contact us section if it's web related. When I used to get high I'd obviously have no problem making phone calls. nnExample: right now I have decided to start therapy. I'm going to fill out a questionnaire online or what not and have someone contact me. nnCan anyone relate ? I know there's not much advice for this and I'll end up sorting it out somehow someway but does anyone have any similar problems or issues. nnI'd really appreciate it if you could reply with some feedback or what you went through. nnThank you in advance!
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Same... I recently got a Fitbit with a heart rate monitor and I've noticed every time I talk on the phone it thinks I'm exercising because my heart rate gets so high
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After the birth of my son in 2015 I developed pretty severe anxiety. Although it's been 5 years and significantly better with the help of a medication it still controls my life, specifically about leaving the house. I get stressed out about upcoming appointments and meetups with acquaintances (but not with really good friends or family.) I come up with excuses to cancel and I freak out if I'm 5 minutes late. I also have an issue with working. Obviously going to work stresses me out, but I also feel like I am incapable of doing ANY job. I was fired from a job I loved and gave my all too about three years ago- I just couldn't get it down. Now I'm afraid I'll fail at anything. Anyone out there with some insight?
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I had this job last July at a real state firm, I was a salesman at the phone - and would be going to people's houses when the pandemic relaxed-. I started feeling fresh, since they hired me because of my sales skills when I tried to sell them a media service one day at their office. nnI made it pass the training and was doing great, but I didn't like the co-workers and I felt it wasn't right for me there. I started feeling guilty and ungrateful for the opportunity. When I started imagining myself working with them a long time, I would find myself with depressive thinking and when I got home everyday, It all felt like burning up. Too many hours, poor money and no expectations to progress but to have a depressive enviroment until they'd kick me out. nnAt home and at work it became worse and I relapsed on crippling anxiety. It already happened to me a few years ago when I quit a job washing dishes at a school kitchen because I wanted to retake my studies. That time at the kitchen I just told them I was out, signed got paid my days and that was it. In this summer case, one day my boss give me a 50bucks advanced pay and that morning I already decided I wasn't coming back the next morning.nn As soon as the boss left, I put the mobilephone they gave me, the tie and the money in a caju00f3n, along with a resigning note, I said I didn't even want the pay for my days, just that they let me go easy and so they did. I left that day as early as I could, wearing my new beige suit that a bought for this with new shoes and leaving that neighborhood that I felt so cold.nnSince this second experience, I always think I won't be able to manage having a job. I feel like I'm useless and unable to get advantage of my skills when actually required. I don't know why but I feel like depressed about it and it makes me feel weak. I don't know, I don't feel like a strong man in the sense of the ideal thought of the workingclass family father that endures hard jobs. I would say the same about any hard working woman, it's just that my feeling of shame comes from my admiration of the hardworking mem. I haven't had a hardworking father so it deepens my guilt not to be able to make a difference. nnNow I'm 22yo, and these days facing some studies that require from me an internship. I'm anxious about it too.
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Help
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What medications have you tried?
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Job interview. Socializing with co-workers. Anything that requires communication at all. My brain cells just get deep fried lmao.
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Yep! And when the conversation ends, all of a sudden you have all of the words that you wish you had during the interaction.
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To be clear, I'm not a big drinker at all, I'll have a drink maybe once a month at the most. nnI've noticed once I get a bit tipsy, my anxiety seems to lift. It's as if this giant barrier is gone and suddenly I'm able to just be myself and talk to people, even strangers! I can carry a conversation without shutting down, crack some good jokes, people seem to actually enjoy my company, and I barely feel nervous at all, much less devolve into a full-on hyperventilating panic attack like I have sober. nnI know it's not healthy, and I certainly don't want to have to rely on alcohol to navigate social situations. But it's frustrating, too, because it's like a glimpse into the person I could be if this terrible mental illness wasn't holding me back.
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I
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Who has taken this medication before? I got prescribed it today (37.5mg) and I'm wondering what I should expect from it.
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I've been on it for 5 years and it has honestly saved my life. As with starting any medication give it time for the side effects the settle (this also goes for any time you change dosage) I would say 1-2 weeks before you feel normal. Be consistent with the time of day you take it and try not to miss a dose as the withdrawal is extremely unpleasant and then it takes time for your body to resettle on the medication. It's not going to feel like it's working all of a sudden but once you find the dose that works for you, you will notice just an overall increase in quality of life. nnIt took me 2 years to settle on the correct dosage for me as I gave each dose a proper try (2-3 months) to see if it was adequate, I found that at the lower dosages I was experiencing relief from my depressive symptoms but we decided to continue increasing my dose to see if at higher dosages it “kicked in” for my anxiety. It luckily did provide relief at the dosage I'm at now but if it had not then I would have gone back down to the dosage at which I experienced relief for my depression and started to find a different medication to add on for my anxiety. nnPlease just try not to miss a dose as that just feels horrid and the withdrawal associated with accidentally missing a day is a reason that some people don't tolerate the medication so that is something to keep in mind! Wishing you luck on your medication journey
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I dont know theres just something about it. Its a non showey color. It doesn't express anything, its just.. dark and sad. I love it.
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When I was most anxious yes. One of the little ways I started to get out of my comfort zone and over my social anxiety has been to slowly introduce things to my wardrobe that I like but am nervous to wear. So like start with a splash of color, then in-offensive jewelry, some nice shoes, etc.
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Of the fact that i was afraid of something that was non existent. I didn't go to that same gym for 5 years and I have so much regret it hurts me wow. nnJust know you can change and don't let this stupid anxiety rob you of opportunity in life.
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The gym is honestly the one place I never had this problem. Anywhere else though, like going to get my haircut for example, was a struggle.
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The past couple of years my general and social anxiety and depression have gotten so much worse. I'm pretty sure there's some PTSD mixed in there, too. I'm sure most of you, at least on some level, can relate.nnAlmost all of my work experience is in food service or retail. I've worked since I was 16. I like working in a general sense. It gives me some sort of purpose, or at least routine. I quit my job in June of 2020...there were a lot of other things going on as well, but the thing that made me walk away was having a customer pick me up, shake me, and throw me down the sidewalk. nnI have pretty much isolated ever since. I never see any of my friends anymore, I'm not even sure if I still have friends. I just withdrew more and more into this...idk, it's a pit of despair, is what it is.nnI tried finding an online work from home job from then till recently. No one will hire me. There are so many jobs. I bet I have put in over 200 applications for wfh jobs, maybe had 4 interviews, which I admit I suck at. I felt un-hire-able. Unemployable. So, I paid for a background check and I got on with Liveops as an independent contractor, waited weeks for the training class for the client I chose to support, finished all the training requirements in another 3 weeks, and immediately lost the job due to background noise.nnNow, I'm a grown ass woman. 41. I've never married or had kids, I probably can't have kids. I've sold possessions and borrowed money to get by. I can't keep being a burden. I'm living with a family member. I have no car thanks to a tornado, also in the Spring of 2020.nnI'm struggling with suicidal thoughts and severe depression, utter lack of motivation, but at the same time I feel such intense guilt over not being able to get my shit together. I don't want to go back to food service or retail, sincerely. I want to do something different, but I don't know what. I've asked a couple of ppl about what I should do...it's always,
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Sorry to have bothered y'all. It did help some small amount, getting it off my chest, but...I could really use some guidance.
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I never see anyone like me in real life but online so many people say they have it.
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Is that not just being introverted, not social anxiety disorder?
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Is it normal that after a long period of questioning and very present stress, I have the impression that nothing scares me, for example - I have the impression that if my girlfriend would leave me, she wouldn't bother me - I have the impression that if I were arrested tomorrow it wouldn't matter to me - I feel like dying tomorrow doesn't scare me - I don't feel like my life is moving forward as if I was blocked by a wall or that my life had kind of stopped and that I wasn't javancating anymore and sometimes I have a lot of anxiety and I feel disoriented I don't understand before I often had ups and downs and I was happy for nothing but I got angry easily too please I need to know if there are people same as me? Thx everybody gonna answer menn(Sorry for my English I'm from Quebec)
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And now I don't have anxiety
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I'm already freaking out about having to be in the sane car as a stranger or having to go to the DMV and take the written test. My main fear is having the person in the car judging my driving. I feel like i'm going to make a lot of mistakes because if how anxious i'll be.nnWas it bad for the rest of you? How does it go? How long do you have to drive around with them?
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I am in the same boat. The farthest I got was taking my permit test which I ended up passing but I would be too scared to take the driving test so I would just end up retaking the written test over and over.
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I know this sounds silly but I'm sure some of you can relate.... maybe. Lol. I love Halloween. I love dressing up but I hate, hate, hate handing out candy. The doorbell rings, my anxiety skyrockets, I panic because I don't know what to say to the kids. Oh, nice costume, uhhhhh, uhhhhhh Merry Christmas! Lmao. I actually said that last year. And then my hands are so shakey I end up missing their bag. Ooooffff
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Yeah, it's weird because I'm a teacher. I'm generally really good with kids. But I think it's because I don't know exactly when they'll show, it's like the anticipation kills me! Lol. I'll try not to over think it this year!
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All names have been changed to protect the guilty nnIt's been two days since my meltdown subsided. I spent the better part of yesterday feeling numb, which is par for the course. I'm doing even better today. I spent the first half hour of waking up laying on the couch reading my news feed and browsing Reddit instead of sleeping for 2-3 hours.nnAnyway, as I sit here listening to music and sifting through the events of the past three weeks, I've come to the realization that my need to talk to people and tell them things critical about themselves and others is actually my desire to cause drama and push them away. The problem is that I originally identified this as a part of my personality that was
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lol, ya... this reddit thing is kinda getting outta hand. I've got such an addictive personality!! thanks, I really appreciate it. samers :)
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Even before the Covid restrictions, I could never find any places where I could meet people. Idk if I'm just terrible at searching for them or if nothing really ever happens in my city. And I've lost all hope in making friends online.
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I had good experiences with the social anxiety groups on Meetup (pre-covid). It's really cool because everyone is open about their mental health so no one cares about being awkward. You can even look for other groups that interest you. Explore your hobbies and find groups that align with those and you'll meet people.
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I met Anna at the dog park across the street from my apartment a few months ago. After chatting, I found out that she had just recently moved here and didn't really know anyone. We started talking about our interests, and we both liked rock climbing.nnSo since then, Anna has been my climbing buddy. We go a couple times a week and it's great. We both have a clear passion for it and it's fun having someone to steadily improve my skills with.nnAt this point you're probably wondering if I'm attracted to Anna. Anna is very, very pretty, but beyond climbing, we don't have much in common. We listen to different music, watch different TV shows, play different video games, and she's much more extroverted and blunt, whereas I deal with an eternal struggle with shyness and am pretty introverted. So at this point I've really only seen her as a friend who I go rock climbing with. Which I'm totally fine with. I'm pretty sure she sees it the same way, since she often tells me stories about other guys she's been seeing from Tinder. I've been dating a bit more lately, so I also contribute a bit to these conversations. nnBefore I met Anna, I had planned on moving out of my city for a fresh start somewhere else. I've been working from home for a long, long time now and have gotten rather complacent.nnI told Anna about this, and she was sad that I'd be leaving, but happy that I was going with my gut on this new adventure. She said we should hang out and go out to a bar sometime before I leave. My stomach churned, but I've been trying to say
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I feel so pathetic. I just hope all of my friends slowly forget about me. At least then I won't feel the rejection. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.
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I commend you. I couldn't ever ask anyone to hang out. You're friend is an ass. Though, they might not have heard you, are you a quiet person? Other than not hearing you, they have no excuse.
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1) How many of you endured toxic parenting while growing up?nn2) To assist in understanding: Toxic people are not this way in every moment of life, but generally are narcissistic, neglectful, dismissive, give only conditional u201cloveu201d, play power games, manipulate, bring negativity into the home and your life, etc.nnEdit: For the purpose of this poll it is important to have a basic foundational understanding of what u201ctoxicu201d means in this sense. If you are going to vote please only do so if you believe you understand what a u201ctoxicu201d parent is.nnEdit: Thank you again for your participation, this work will be very important and it takes all of you to make this possible u2014 I plan on doing several polls a week so that we will have a statistical framework for understanding social anxiety on a general basis. Of course, all of our experiences are subjective, however a general understanding can do nothing but help all of us. Especially those that are where I once was u2014 completely lost in pain and fear with no understanding of what was going on in my psyche, let alone why.nnFeel free to follow me if you want to stay up to date on my polls and researchnn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/hqtz5k)
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No prob amigo
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nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/xpgcwm)
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yes in year 2 of uni and struggling because of this. same as year 1.nnno friends to so im fucked.
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So I've been participating in Movember, and I look terrible. It's really been hurting my self confidence because I just look terrible. But I feel guilty about shaving because I want to show my respect for men suffering from prostate cancer. Am I overthinking this?
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Just remember the cause you are doing it for, good on you for participating!
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Today my class changed around the desks, so everyone was kind of seated differently, but still in the same area of their last seat. I don't think anyone really likes me. I feel like a plague. I sat on one of the desks, I had gotten there early so it was empty. A little while later everyone was already there, but my whole desk was empty. The only person who sat next to me was this woman everyone else made fun of, and didn't want to sit next to. This made me feel even worse about my SA. This has happened to me a lot, feeling left out, feeling like no one likes me. I just can't believe that I was the lonely loser with no friends in high school, and now being way older, I'm still the same person just a little bit taller. I will always be this way. I'll never be outgoing, no one will ever like me. I can't even like me damn self.nnEdit: Why did I write this on /r/socialanxiety? Because I was diagnosed with SA a year ago, so I just thought I'd talk about my day on a subreddit I thought I could relate to. If you're wondering.
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That's how it was for me in high school! Even when I went to community college that same thing happened to me. One time I even asked the teacher if I could work on the project alone, luckily she said yes.
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I'm a bit confused about this sub. If it's mostly people with social anxiety who follow this sub, wouldn't posts asking for advice here be answered by other people with social anxiety??
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It's messed up, right? I'd give anything to reverse it. Not having/not being able to make friends is so hard. 99.9% of the time you just come off looking like an asshole. nnAnd also, it's really inconvenient. There's only so many coffee shops nearby and I will drive an extra ten minutes to avoid a friendly face if I have to, but it's a pain in the ass.
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Is there anyone else who feels like because of social anxiety or some other reason that they are boring? Like whenever I am talking alone with someone I just feel like I am very boring and have no humor. I find things funny, but I dont know how to make any jokes. I feel like people sense this and feel uncomfortable around me because of this. nI also feel like I cant talk
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bro i deadass feel the exact same way its lowkey kinda crazy reading that cuz the same thing happens 2 me I ghosted all my friends cuz I just overthink so much 2 the point of it being that bad and they still hmu to play or talk but I just always say no because my brain just has a spazim i start getting nervous when i try to talk2 someone that i haven't talked to in a while. i feel like I've changed and there gonna look at me different ://
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Hey, I'm new here. I know this sub is mostly memes, but can I ask a question?nnRecently, I noticed that I can't keep eye contact for a long time. Even if it was a close friend, I wouldn't dare to look them in the eyes. I feel scared in someway. Do you know any way I can solve this problem?
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I have read somewhere that looking at the bridge of nose or the space between the two eyes help. It seems like you are looking in the eyes. I always forget to try it but you can.
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I'm a 30 year old female living with my husband and two small children. My entire life I have struggled with self-esteem issues and anxiety. I never took chances or I would put them off because I didn't think I had the talents. Things as simple as house chores get overwhelming and I can never get things up to my standards which I admit are unobtainable. I've been in therapy for over a year after a nasty boot of depression in which I didn't necessarily want to die but I was entertaining the thought. Therapy has helped alot but it's been tough. Currently I am a stay at home mom. We're extremely low income currently and we can't afford to go anywhere. When my husband is at work it's just me and the kids at home. I love my family but I hurt so much. I hate everything about me and I dont feel like anything I do is good enough. I'm extremely hard on myself whenI mess up. I get frustrated and yell at my kids alot. I try so hard to go the gentle route. Talking, communication and diverting attention. I try to treat them with love and compassion but I still feel like I'm failing. I go over every aspect of my life from my interactions with people throughout the day to how I clean to my vices and how I am disgusts me. I think of all the ways I could be improving and I try so hard but Im exhausted and it's difficult to keep up with my standards. I crave organization but I can neve Mai tain it. The house is in constant chaos no matter how hard I clean. I even criticize my cooking when I don't need to. I know alot of it is in my head but what if it's not? What if I truly am as awful as I think? I'm scared of what the people I care about think, I'm scares I'll never be good enough for my kids. I'm not suicidal but more and more I wish I could disappear so I'm not hurting the people I care about. I wish I didn't affect anyone's life but my own. I feel like everyone would be better off without me. What is wrong with me? Why can't I shake these feelings and why is it that everytime I try to improve I just fall right back into this hole?
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Definitely kudos to you for the progress you've made so far. Gathering the courage to start therapy can be a hard thing to do. If you were to start a list of victories that should definitely go on there! Maybe keeping a victory list would be a good place to start? No matter how small it may seem, a win is a win! I find it helpful and it keeps me motivated to keep track of what I've accomplished and the good things that have happened. nnSometimes new habits can take a while to stick….two months or more! I try to make a list of goals and pick one to work towards at a time. I will break them down into small, small steps and increase when I'm ready. I get overwhelmed by cleaning too, so I pick 1 area a day to work on. For the kitchen it started that I would work on just the countertops. I would give myself a break when I got overwhelmed and would come back when I was able to. Start small! You could even make it a family ritual to do some cleaning together. nnLife gets in the way sometimes when we're working on ourselves and pauses our progress. I think the most important thing of all is to give yourself grace. Giving yourself the love and compassion you give to your family is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Just pick up where you left off. I wish you all the best!
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Hi everyone. Im taking a course over Zoom. I havent talked in the class since september. But yesterday professor almost threatened people to give their own opinions since no one ever talks in the class. So he started to randomly pick people's name on the list. Out of all people, he picked my name and ask for my opinion on the text we've been reading. Immediately, I felt my heart pounding and my face turning red. I was panicking so hard. And whats more embarrassing is that even though I read the text and had my own thoughts on it, I couldnt coherently speak out. I stuttered and just mummbled that I wasnt really sure. I still feel so embarrassed. I sounded so stupid.... I dont know how other people can just speak up and not care about what other people thinks. To make matters worst, I have to give a short 10 minute presentation two weeks from now. I hate it so much....Is there any method to get better at public(?) online speaking?
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I'll tell you my trick. I completely minimize the zoom window so I can't see my face or anybody else's face. It helps but I generally still have to turn off my video and have a little freakout after I've said my part.
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every time i'm tired i feel more and more frustrated and depressed about not feeling confident around people and frustrated that i even have to be around people but after a full 8-9 hours it bothers me so much less and i actually feel better about myselfnnhard to get into the habit of maintaining good habits but for general well being they are helpful
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Yeah, considering that I haven't been able to sleep in the last 3 days, I agree.nDrank some coffee this morning, hadn't had it for a while. Not something I usually drink. And, despite being sleepless, best 3 hours of the year. Anxiety free.
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My anxiety is going crazy i feel horrible would anyone please talk to me? Preferely another girl i wouldnt feel comfortable talking to a guy
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Hi, I'm a girl. Feel free to message me
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Idk if anyone can relate but my anxiety is actually terrible when I have to speak to other black people. The ones I speak to are nice, I'm just scared of not fitting in because I don't fit the stereotype, I just want to be me.
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I completely understand and I noticed black people that say that or kinda bully you into it are lame as hell is called having your own personality my friend
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I love multiplayer games but every time someone asks for my discord/any other platform they could contact me on i just get really bummed out and making up excuses really stings...however i know damn well that I wouldn't be able to hold up a friendship nnnnnI cant even relax cause events like these keep living in my head rent free for months, theyre gonna find my replacement and it just makes me really sad...
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I'm not a gamer, but feel you on this.nnI want friends & a close friendship, but am also so exhausted from other people & would rather not talk to them.
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Ever since I started being more active on social media, I've been worrying about what people think of me.nnI obsess over how many likes I get, how many followers I have, and whether or not people like who I am.nnIt honestly makes me so miserable to care so much about how I'm being perceived but for some reason, I seek people's approval. And I'm terrified of rejection and of people not liking me.nnAnd I'm not only like this on social media. I'm like this in real life, too. nnIt's like I feel that the only way I'll think I'm good enough is if many people think I'm good enough.nnIt's exhausting. Can anyone else relate?nAny tips on how to not care so much about what ppl think of me?
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Hugs! I believe you can get over it. Trauma is hard and healing is hard but it's always worth it.
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Anyone else? nnIt's always the damn grocery store hahaha
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Yeah, they give me migraines if I stay in the store too long.
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I moved away from home for uni about a week ago and now live in a flat with 6 other people. The first day started off fine, I'd leave my door open so I could socialise more with my flatmates and had no problem with walking into the shared spaces such as the kitchen and making small talk, but now for some reason something's changed.nnI can't bring myself to even have my door open, yet alone walk into the kitchen or hallway if somebody else is already there. It's gotten to the point where I haven't eaten anything in quite a while because I'm too afriad to go and grab something. nnAll of my flatmates have basically started to bond now and have all been going out places together, meanwhile there's me. I don't know if it's because I got too burned out on the first day or something but this rooms starting to feel like a prison and I don't see a way of forcing myself out.
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You're right. Putting it so simply has cleared up a lot of my confusion, so thank you for that. I'll do my best.
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I recently got hired as a math teacher at a highschool. I teach 14 year olds, two hours a week (Officially I'm not a teacher. I don't study to be one, nor do I study math. Yet I am a mathteacher).nnIt's not that I'm terrible at it. For someone with 0 teaching skills I'm actually quite good at it. It's just that my social anxiety kicks up everytime I stand in front of that classroom. I can't eat in the morning. I get so nervous I start to shake. I'm really not good with people, but I love this job. I love helping these kids become who they want to become. I just don't know how to get rid of the anxiety that I get. I never learned to be a teacher and there is no one I can ask. I don't want to ask my colleagues because I don't want to be seen as the teacher that can't do shit. If I can't even stand in front of a class, how am I supposed to be a good teacher?
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Thank you! That made me feel a little better :)nn(also, no, cats are too amazing to eat)
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So I made a decision a few months back to leave my job that I loved and a job that did not give me social anxiety to move states in order to live closer to my wife's family. The new job I had lined up in my new state ended up being more of a call center job that required being on the phones all day (no mention of this during the Zoom interview had). nnnI quit that new job after only one day because of the extreme panic and anxiety it gave me. nnnI am now unemployed and have no idea what to do. I am scared shitless and am unable to find any job around here that doesn't require constant social interaction or being tied to the phone all day. nnnCan someone please offer some advice on what to do. I've never been so scared before.
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What about a delivery job?
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I'm 22 (M). I really want to go to gym to care of my body and my mental health but I'm too scared. I'm worried about regular gym goers looking at me. I think I'll get myself into awkward situations where I'd do something wrong and what others are gonna think. And I don't really know about any workout methods to begin with so I'll have to ask the trainers about everything which makes me more anxious. Any advice for me?
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I litteraly can relate so much, it's hard to start but once you get over that hill it's just a straight road ahead
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I can't be an adult. It's been many years since I was eligible to start driving but couldn't and still can't. This was the start of my troubles. I missed all major milestones growing up, never went to any proms, never was part of any teams or clubs, I was just that kid that wanted to get home as soon as possible to play a game. I had a group of decent friends, but they all hung out together and I never did. I was invited sometimes, but invented excuses to not go.nnAfter high school, I went to college before realizing I was lying to myself and just putting off the inevitable, which is work. I withdrew not only from college, but from the world. Besides brief part time work I never had a real steady job. I am at home, and afraid of my own shadow. I am weak and hollow inside. No friends, no purpose. Few interests if they're even qualified as interests.nnThe doom news I've always know was coming has arrived. Landlord wants us out unless a MASSIVE amount of money is paid back immediately. Several thousands, months of rent that my family didn't pay out of selfish greed (raised by narcissists) and believing the government would bail us out. Narrator: they didn't.nnThe short version of it is that my family is demanding, with no exceptions, a significant, HUGE amount from me towards this bill that I didn't directly create. If not paid, we are evicted and that's my future destroyed even more than it is. This amount of money is almost inconceivable for me to imagine parting with. It's my future, a part of savings that I put aside if I ever needed it to survive.nnI don't know what to do. I can't handle this stress. I can't rationalize this amount of money. I am going to break and die.
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I appreciate your kind words. It all traces back to one core issue: I am just terrified of work, social situations, and being in a high intensity environment like a store for regular extended periods away from home. Home is the only place I really have where I feel at ease and little anxiety. I realize it is a bubble.nnI can leave for certain things, I can shop, go to appointments. WORK and COMMITMENT is the real terror. The idea of work scares me, likely have ergophobia. Committing to finding a job, applying, going in. Interviews. That being said, I have worked online in freelance-like areas that was tolerable because I was home, nobody on top of me. Just me working for me.nnCommitting to a schedule. Committing to being away from home, away from certainty and routine. At some level I know I'd settle into a routine at work too and get more comfortable, but I'm around strangers, taking orders, and due to my timid nature, probably being bullied eventually by bosses or coworkers or taken advantage of.nnI think I am scared, and I don't know why, of getting to know people and people knowing me. Maybe being alone has warped me. I was never popular, I was never an extravert really, but in school I had a group of friends, I was able to function in public and big crowds and stuff.
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Shit sucks cause i'm almost always socially anxious
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Oh man, I experienced it today. I was having a very pleasant conversation with my neighbour and at some point I knew it's my turn to continue and I came up with the perfect question. I knew exactly what I wanted to say but when I started to speak I could not, for the life of me, finish the sentence. I would stop in the middle of it, doubting myself, and start to explain it differenty like 4 or 5 times and I could see she knew what I wanted to say and was waiting for me to just finish but I was literally unable to. I don't want to offend anyone and it is not a perfect comparison but I felt like I suffered a stroke or something like that which just deteriorated parts of my brain's development. It's been getting worse along with my social anxiety worsening. For someone who used to be social, very opinionated and thought to be well-spoken it's just the most bizzarre experience
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I always look serious/angry and people always tell me to smile more. This has made me even more self conscious and only makes me look more serious. I've tried to smile and loosen up my jaw and stuff so I don't look so serious but nothing has worked.nnDoes anyone know how to stop the cycle?
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not true, most people look normal when their face is resting. some people look unapproachable, some still look friendly when their face is resting. It can be because their face alone or how they present themselves. Though I personally think someone with SA looks bitchy because people don't know them yet, the same case with everyone who has a bitchy face, but it's just people who have SA tend to freak out.
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so do you ever find yourself wanting to talk to someone and you are making up a whole conversation up in your head between you and that person? nnDoes that
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Entertaining the thoughts your anxiety gives you is one of the core traits of someone with SA. Let them go.
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I find that wearing a mask anonymizes me. It also makes it significantly less likely that anyone will talk to me in public. Whenever I see the latest number of people who have had the vaccine, I feel bittersweet about it as it means we are getting closer to the end of social distancing and masks. I don't want it to end.
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I hate it myself. Guess everyone is different.nnI get what you mean though. I love wearing jackets in the Winter, because somehow they make me feel more... secure I guess? I put my hands in the pockets and close up.
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Hello Everyone,nnI have been dealing with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a very loving household with two amazing parents who were always very supportive. Growing up though, I was always overweight, no matter how much activity I had. I was bullied heavily in school for being overweight and to this day I deal with some social anxiety. I feel as if everyone in the room is starring at me, no matter where I am at. Unfortunately, this causes me to sweat and get nervous, then it becomes a positive feedback loop because the sweating makes me anxious as well. I do my best in situations to put myself in the best possible scenario to not sweat but even in a nice cold room, I can sometimes get so anxious (and overthink) that it doesn't even help. I have coping mechanisms but they only work in certain situations (not wear heavy clothes, wear hats, etc.)nnRight now, I am a Personal Trainer. I have been for the last 6+ years and becoming a trainer really helped me overcome my bouts of social anxiety. It forced me to step outside of my comfort zone on a daily basis. The funny thing about this all, is I actually LOVE being social and I love talking to people. I love what I do as a trainer and I love meeting new people. BUT, my social anxiety seems to have a bit of control on my life, including dating and platonic relationships. I find myself avoiding certain situations in fear of sweating (when you usually don't sweat, i.e. out to a restaurant, at a bar, and in regular social situations). In doing so, it causes FOMO and mild depression (formally diagnosed) because I just usually stay home or avoid those plans / situations. I find myself becoming anxious just even thinking about situations in the past that I had a social anxiety flare up or future ones (such as first dates, going back to school to become a Physical Therapist, etc.). I did notice however, that most recently when I was in a 2+ year committed relationship (ended last July), my social anxiety (as far as I can remember) was little to non-existent. I am not sure if COVID keeping us all inside has increased my social anxiety, being newly single or a combination of both.nnI am currently working with a therapist, but with a lot of moving pieces in my life (depression, p.i.e.d, anxiety and other personal matters) it's hard to cover everything at once. We worked on depression first (was the original reason I started CBT) and now are working on the social anxiety part. I am so sick of letting anxiety control my life. I am 29 and want to have a fun lifestyle. I love staying in, but I want to go out with friends, meet new people and hopefully meet a wonderful woman I can spend the rest of my life with. I need your help and that is why I am posting on here :)nnI do my best in life when I can relate to others and that's what so great about forums like this. It's nice to know you're not alone, BUT even more so, find others who deal with exactly what you're dealing with and see what they do to help combat their fear and anxieties. If any of you have good advice or things/tricks you have to help with your social anxiety, please help me! Everything I google is the
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Yes, I totally feel this one. That is exactly what happens to me. Sometimes I can talk myself out of it, sometimes I can't. It's honestly the ONLY noticeable symptom I have. I am sorry you deal with this as well. Have you found any solutions or help?
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I was diagnosed with severe ocd and depression. I come from a long line of people who are clinically depressed and take medications. My coworker thinks ocd is trendy or quirky or something? And she keeps making comments whenever she wipes a counter down about how ocd she is. I have explained to her multiple times that being overly clean and organized is a huge misconception about ocd and that I find her comments unfunny and ignorant. She ignores me and still does it. Well my patience has began to wear thin. Last night was the final straw. She commented on how she went to a chiropractor who u201cdiagnosedu201d her with ocd and prescribed her with a concentrated flower essence to take every morning. Natural medicine. My other coworker told her she was being con-ed and that chiropractors can't diagnose you with a mental illness. She got mad at him and said he told her that you can't heal your mind without healing your body first. (Also false to an extent) she then proceeded to ridicule those who take modern medicine by calling them horrible chemicals that don't help. That was my last straw. My family has suffered through a lot of death and sadness because of depression and modern medicine has been wonderful to us (it is all about finding the right fit) her assuming that it's all horrible chemicals made me so angry I snapped at her hard. I told her she doesn't know anything and if she really thinks she has a problem she needs to see a real psychiatrist or therapist. I don't think I can handle working with her anymore. My nerves are at wits end. I have tried being patient but my brain goes into panic mode when I see I have a shift with her. Help.
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I feel bad but I think it's necessary, the blatant and ignorance is really starting to get to me. I will fill out a report on Monday.
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I'm an introvert with social anxiety and depression, so for years I had no friends and felt like everyone made fun of me. I started treatment and talking to people in college, but I noticed that I really procrastinate when it comes to replying messages or hanging out. I really want friends that I can talk and hangout with, but rather I don't feel like talking to anyone and can't push myself to reply messages if I don't absolutely have to. When people want to hangout with me I'd be really happy but I'd say I don't have time. Even the girl who I'm crushing on, I don't feel like chatting with her at all and would spend days to respond to her messages.nnI don't want to be someone who's life is 100% in my bedroom, but that's the only thing I can do. Why is it? Is there a psychology behind it? Am I just too irresponsible to have friends? Am I trying to run away from life?
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You're looking at the purpose wrong. The intent is not to be successful, it is to get used to being present. If you push yourself to talk to someone, the goal shouldn't be to walk out of that conversation with a great interaction, what you need is the experience itself. Be curious, strive to learn.nnYou haven't given yourself the opportunity of trial and error so now is the most exciting part of learning how to communicate. You put too much pressure on yourself to succeed. I'll give you my perspective as someone who was in your position and got through it. nnI'm currently building a business and one of the key parts of being an entrepreneur is putting yourself out there to a multitude of strangers. For the past 6 months, I've probably been rejected over 500 times. I've had some meetings, said some embarrassing things, people have cancelled on me, and ghosted me. Sometimes I'd see messages and not feel like responding but I've told myself that these experiences are necessary. I've finally gotten success this month and will continue to do so. It's all in the mindset, you cannot succeed just by trying. Try try again until you are good enough. Enjoy the struggle, it's different, but you'll feel so good when you overcome it.
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feeling pretty lonely to be honest. like i'm surrounded by people who don't relate and make me feel insane.
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I fear for the future in terms of war and civil discourse. I know America is heading for another civil war between the left and the right and unfortunately this time it's the gun-toting maniacs that are on the wrong side of this conflict. I'm definitely not one to fight or take up arms and honestly the stranglehold that technology has allowed our government (or moreso corporations) means it's going to be a pretty one-sided fight. I would not be surprised to see another WWII Germany situation with death camps and I know I'll likely end up in one when it's all said and done.nnAll I want to do is eat good food, play videogames, and relax without having to suffer or kill myself to get by. Apparently that's asking too much out of life.
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(English isn't my main language, sorry if I made many mistakes)nHello, I am 13 years old and I think I have social anxiety, It's been 4 years since it started and this year I tried to tell my mom about it, but she says that I am faking it and that I just want to have some mental illness, I showed her what social anxiety was and I said that I had the symptoms of social anxiety but she still thinks that I am just faking it because she thinks she knows me better than anyone. She acts like it isn't real just because she never had any mental illness and it makes it difficult to talk to her more about it. I want to try to see a therapist to know if I really have social anxiety but when I try to talk to her about it she just gets angry at me. What should I do?
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like stopping a broken leg? Just stop it and it won't be broken?
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I was driving home from work and I live in an apartment building and when I entered the parking lot I saw these group of people hanging out in their garage and as soon as I drove up they all started to stare at me and they kept staring as I drove by them and parked because my parking spot is right in front of their garage and it honestly really pissed me off how they just stopped whatever they were doing and just stared at me. This honestly makes me really hate people and it's growing on me that people just stare for no freaking reason. After that, I got out of the car and went inside but I still felt like they were staring. This really makes me question why they stared and kept staring. Like I don't even know these people and it got me thinking maybe it's some ego thing? or do they like to stare down on people and feel like the tough guy??? I just hate when people stare and recently I have just been staring back at people that stare at me and they just look away and I laugh. I didn't stare back at those people because I didn't think it was that big of a deal to do. But yea this was just me venting.
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I would just say hello and walk on by. Friendliness begets friendliness.
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ERROR: type should be string, got " https://pdfroom.com/books/managing-social-anxiety-a-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-approach-treatments-that-work-client-workbook/3kZdoB0K5M8nnI'm going through this book right now and I feel like this is helping me understand what is going on in my mind. It was prescribed by my therapist before. It could be helpful to you as well. " |
Thanks for sharing your experience. Glad to know that it worked out for you. I'm at ATs now and going to start exposure soon.
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I'm not sure if I'm on the right post but thought I'd ask for advise. nnI had a breakdown in 2017. It was one of the worse things ever and I pretty much went through it alone. nnMy question is after nearly 4 years will I ever be the same again. I've lost all my confidence and I'm still a shell of a person I used to be. I hate going out, I hate talking to people and when I do I struggle to keep the conversation going. I was so outgoing and fun. I've lost me and I'm worried I will never come back. nnWill I ever be the old me again?
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I would say you will be an older, different version of yourself. None of us stay the same no matter what we go through. We all grow and change as we experience life. I hate sounding cliche but I suppose it really is what you make it. Don't try to recreate the past, give yourself space to grow and explore who you are now.
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I recently became really close to a girl, and she is aware of my social anxiety. We are so close that I actually told her all about it. nnnAnyway, when I see her posting things on facebook, particularly photos with other people, I become insanely jealous and frustrated. The ones that annoy me the most are the night club promo shits of groups. It kills me that I can't do those things with her. nnnJust a vent...
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I feel the same way. I just want to have fun. And it's not the same when I'm alone because I have no one to share things with. I truly hate not having friends. Which is mostly why I exercise heavily to get my mind off of it. My a SO of five years enjoys shit together with his friends and hardly invites me. But really I just want to spend time with someone else instead of being gloomy in my damn room alone.
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4-5 years of being friendless, just wondering if I'm the only one...
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Yeah me, i'm 21 and i'm officially friendless, it's because of my bad social anxiety ;(
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I just got a job at Walmart. I have to talk with customers and coworkers a lot. It's been really stressful for me. A coworker yesterday made a joke, a lame one, and I did a weak fake laugh. nnShe said,
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Literally this^ don't take it too hard OP
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I feel like I've become unlikable and unlovable... I've never really had a relationship but I can't even imagine anyone finding any joy with me when I cant even find my own personality within myself anymore. I use to be so good at making anyone laugh everyday, now I can't even do the bare minimum during social interactions. nnLike it's bad enough being completely socially anxious all the time, and the pressure of trying to think of the right things to say and always having nothing come to mind because I'm in such a frozen panic... But when I realize it's also taken away almost all the social experience in my life and that I have to somehow rebuild it with added anxiety as a young adult, it gets pretty depressing.
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Damn, this is me now too. I didnt know I had anxiety until I quit drinking and now it just doesnt turn off
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