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I'm not going to say I beat social anxiety.nI don't even think social anxiety is something you can beat. nnBut I will say I beat the social anxiety mentality. Most of your problems with social anxiety stems from the fact you have social anxiety.nnIm studying to become a psychologist, so I really would like to help anyone who needs it. I have tons of tidbits and advice for anyone who asks. I'm not perfect, but I'm here
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My social anxiety used to be much worse but I faced it head on (and also got my psych BS degree, heyo). I got a job waitressing in college so I made it about my job and earning money, not making friends or being likable. Now I find chit chat to be almost-bearable. But I still over analyze everything I say, obsess about it for days, cringe internally at myself forever if I do something I later deem to be weird, etc etc. nnAnd I would always rather stay at home than go anywhere or socialize. Luckily my husband is the same way. But he makes me do the interactions with strangers like ordering our food at restaurants, making phone calls. Ive come so far! Sounds like you have too. Nice going!!
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Hi guys nnI often struggle with social anxiety and public speaking, but normally i manage to get by with the help of my friends in group projects who understand my issue with public speaking.nnHowever, I got assigned in a group project, in which I have to present a topic to a group of around 20-30 students, with 2 complete strangers. When I talked to the professor about my situation, she refused to comply. nnNormally when I have to present, my hands get VERY shaky, my voice shakes too, my face feels hot and my heart feels like its about to explode. So I was wondering if xanax would help? I have a prescription for it, but I'm worried that I wont be able to present the information well...and I'll feel slow or weird to my peers.. I dont know if im making sense at this point lol
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why suicide? Doesn't it make u feel no anxiety
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My anxiety is so bad. My stomach is filled with dread. My drs has done everything they can do for me, and given me all the medication they can, and going to the hospital won't do any good either. Please give me some advice on how to calm down.
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Try some meditation go on too YouTube type in meditation videos and try breath in and out slowly watch something uplifting that relaxes you and makes you happy and peaceful or laugh. Go for long walk in nature. Take some magnesium good to relax body and fight stress and Epsom salts in bath or foot bath. And know you are not alone I too struggle with anxiety anxious thoughts so many people do you will be fine don't believe al your thoughts
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I'm just looking to learn as much as possible, I'm 25 year old male whose social anxiety is increasing to levels that I either didn't acknowledge previously or have recently developed. I'm looking for as much information as possible so I can start figuring out what to do next.
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I used to see a psychologist, she was a nice lady, but was probably the least professional psychologist ever. She was also old and white, I am not, and this made it awkward when she said politically incorrect things. I gathered her interests were mostly romantic issues, which she was helpful for. nnAt the moment I'd really like to find a good psychiatrist, I would also like to get tested for ADD, which I've believed I've suffered from for a long time. But I need to go out of town, so it's going to be a few weeks. I figure my self improvement should start ASAP.nnYour right though, my social anxiety does generally make me avoid going to doctors. Which is why I've put it off this long to do it. I really want to go now though, I need to change, I'm 25 and still young, but the path I'm on now will leave me unfulfilled and miserable.nnThanks for your awesome response! I'm going to stick around this subreddit more.
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I've always been able to get along with people pretty easily...sorta. I don't really feel comfortable around people, especially strangers, but I have the ability to blend into groups. That is to say that I change my personality, mannerisms, way of speech, etc. to try to integrate myself in groups in such a way that I just blend into the background and they don't really give me much extra thought. nnHow I change is completely dependent on which group of friends I'm around, the way I act around my high school friends is different than how I act around my college friends, or my friends from middle school, or people I know from church, or even my family. This causes me to get very anxious whenever any of these groups mix such as friends coming over to my house, a high school friend coming to visit me at college, friend coming to church with me, etc. because I feel like they all know me as a different person and I don't know what to do. I do this so automatically I don't really know who I am anymore. I know that part of normal social interactions is to cater to your audience so to speak, but I feel like I've lost myself in these lies and different persona and I don't know who I am, what I want, where I want to be. Does anybody else have these issues?
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Crazy! Thank you a lot! I finally understand why I hate
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They're not wrong. I shouldn't need alcohol to have fun or interact with people. But I do. If I'm at a party or club or bar sober, 99% of the time I just stand there hoping someone will come up to me and start a conversation, or if I went out with people I follow them around like a lost puppy. The 1% of times I actually make an effort, it's usually by complimenting another girl's outfit and hoping it can turn into a conversation, which doesn't always work. nnOnce I'm actually drunk though, I don't give a shit. I'll talk to anyone about anything. I'll go up to a random group of dudes and ask who wants to take a shot with me. I feel so free. Overthinking and racing thoughts are rare when I'm drunk. I also make bad decisions, sometimes I black out, and I often feel like shit in the morning. But I never regret it. It's worth it for the couple hours I get to feel free from my anxiety.nnI have to be feeling the alcohol though. So at least 3-4 drinks. Many people will say this is unhealthy or that they don't want to hang out with people that need to drink at every outing. But I have not found a better solution to my social anxiety. Weed makes it 500x worse for me. Besides, I'm sure people enjoy my presence more when I participate socially and I'm not so awkward. nnI'm not encouraging drinking or saying this is the solution for everyone. I just wanted to rant because sometimes I feel weird for needing to drink to feel comfortable.
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I don't think I ever tried to claim it was normal or healthy, I just don't think I'm an alcoholic. But also because of mental illness I have no sense of self-preservation, so it doesn't scare me when people say that I'm slowly killing myself or whatever. I simply don't value my own life very much, so as much as people can tell me I'm gonna end up disabled or sick or dead I just can't find it in me to care.
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This is a big question. I think it's usually a combination of nature and nurture. We are probably already genetically predisposed to social anxiety. But I also think various like factors turns that potential into a reality. For me, it was a combination of growing up with a severely schizophrenic parent, and some bullying and being the school's social-outcast. nnMy home life was not ideal and a bit uncommon. But I can't complain too much when I hear of other people whose dad just walked out on them at 5 or 6, or others whose dad pointed a gun to their head at 8 years old. These kids ultimately did grow up to be pretty successful. I should not compare myself to others, but I do, and it is a bit disappointing, to see what I have become versus others.
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I have always been shy and scared of humiliation ever since I was little. I had a hard time getting friends because I thought it too hard to take initiative and needed more affirmation from others than what they could give me. I ended up alone and more afraid. When I became a teenager I begun getting high anxiety around others my age which made things worse because I felt shame over my physical symtoms.nnGot medication at 18 because I became depressed and thought I would kill myself. nnSo probably genetics and then not an environment that noticed my vunerability.
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Anyone else? nnIt's always the damn grocery store hahaha
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I get anxiety attacks at bigger stores often, It`s usually if I have to line up behind a few people, I think it`s down to feeling `trapped` somewhat. Like you are stuck in that line with your cart / trolley & literally have nowhere to escape to. On one or two occasions I have just left my shopping & nope`d out of there !
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My social anxiety has gotten so bad where I'm not leaving the house because I'm scared to be in public everyone looking at me, everything makes me feel uncomfortable even the littlest things, it's so hard to leave the place that you feel safe and comfortable in. I don't have a job and stuck in the house doing the same routine every single day it gets tiring but 10 times better than leaving the house, I feel so stuck in my life right now. What should I do?
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I was in this situation for a while. I basically couldn't leave my house and my social anxiety was so bad that I'd have intense panic attacks and felt I should just avoid difficult situations altogether. I still have social anxiety, but at this point it's more of just a nagging little voice in the back of my head. What I did was I would take something I enjoyed or wanted to do (mine was reading manga or a novel), I put on noise cancelling headphones and I would read in cafes or coffee shops. It was basically the first step to going outside for me. You feel uncomfortable for a while but eventually that feeling goes away. I was basically associating going outside with good things and rewarding myself with something I wanted to do. I let myself get a brownie or something sweet as a reward as well, and just limited my sweet intake at home. It's a little weird, basically like training a dog but it helped me so so much. I still have difficulty going out but because of my “retraining” I'm hanging out with friends more and actually texting people back and making myself deal with the uncomfortable feelings. Start small, and go during the weekdays when people are at work or school. I still avoid going out when I know there's a large crowd but knowing there won't be so many people around is pretty helpful as well. I hope these little tips help!
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It seems like all the people who write about having social anxiety have had it their whole life or at least from early/mid childhood. I just can't seem to find posts that resonate with my experience. I'm 22 and suddenly got social anxiety 2 years ago being 20 years old. Share your stories/thoughts.
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Honestly I'm 18 now and I have no idea how it happened. I use to be a class clown and now I just get nervous asking to go to the bathroom
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Hi all,nnI'm a pretty naturally scared and timid person. Throughout college, I let my fear get the best of me. I hid and ran away and dissociated during and throughout any opportunity that life threw my way. And when I have the opportunity to do better, I usually choose to feel bad or sorry for myself/live vicariously through other people and not entirely focus on myself.nnI'm at a weird point right now where i'm realizing that I don't have my own life. I don't have any friends, I haven't been giving my all at school, and I keep living vicariously through other people's lives. I don't have my own personality, I change depending on who is around me. I also am constantly blaming my parents and family for my shortcomings.nnI spend a lot of my time feeling sorry for myself, asking other people for advice, or daydreaming, but not actually doing anything.nnAny advice?
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I'm constantly overthinking my life and thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong.
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Help
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i have been put on antipsychotics a month ago and for the first time in my life my social anxiety has started to get a bit better. benzos completely cure it but they aren't a long term solution nnalso you could try diphenhydramine it's an otc medication this helps anxiety quite a bit (again it's not a long term solution)nnand the easiest way, alcohol. obviously not for everyday use i would just drink it before any social interaction
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Making friends and dating is all impossible
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i've been here as well. the only thing that has ever really helped is forcing myself to get outside of my comfort zone. i know it's the scariest idea, but even if you make a fool of yourself (most people won't even notice btw nobody is analyzing you as hard as yourself) you will feel a sense of accomplishment. it really does get easier and you'll get to a point where you can do it more comfortably. it's the most freeing feeling ever.
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It's like I subconsciously want everything I say to be acknowledged. I think sometimes I make statements that don't really give the other person an obvious idea of what to say (the opposite to open ended questions). nnFor example, when going for a run with two others today - after speaking about sport I made a throwaway statement saying a particular sports person was very good. I'm not sure how the other person was meant to reply to this. I did this before (made closed ended statements) and felt rejected from not getting a response. I guess it's not necessarily the worst thing in the world to make statements like this cause I'm just speaking without overthinking...but I think the issue is more with how I feel about the lack of response. nnI wasn't too bothered about the the previous example mentioned - but later on I threw out a question to the others which they both answered - but after that there was no follow on from them which felt a little bit like rejection...I feel like when others follow up on things and initiate conversation back it shows mutual interest. But perhaps there was nothing obvious that they felt like saying at the time and the conversation just came to a natural end - I guess in my mind I'm a bit too reliant on validation from others. nnLater in the evening one of the guys said something in the group chat. I replied with a joke that didn't really call for a reply - but I kind of felt a bit rejected when didn't get a reply to this. So in a nutshell it appears I subconsciously want all things I say to be acknowledged (even if acknowledgement is not really necessary). I guess I need to try to become less concerned with external validation and be mindful of not making closed ended statements too much... and if I do this I should try not to be overly concerned if I don't get a reply.
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I resonate with this a lot and I understand how it can get to you if you let it. There are so many instances where many things I say in different contexts won't get a response. With close friends and family i'll make a joke or a comment and no one will respond, but it happens so often that it's absolutely fine. nnoThinking that there's something wrong with you for not getting a response is akin to black and white thinking i.e. if they respond that means they like me and if they don't respond that means they don't like me which is really implausible. More than likely people are in their own world and what you said didn't really register with them on a personal level for any number of reasons, not exclusively caused by their perception of you. Maybe they're in their own world, maybe they got caught on a thought of their own, who knows. It's sad to feel that we can't make more of an impact on people sometimes, but it's also liberating.
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I'm close to graduating high school, but still have no idea what I want to do for the future. Honestly I kinda wish I could just stay in high school forever. Maybe seeing y'all's majors/jobs will give me some sort of idea for what to do.
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I think I'm going into medical laboratory technology or something in business administration
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So in the past i have struggled with self harm and depression and i have been in recovery for a good two years now yet still somehow, there are times when i watch certain films or im in certain situations where i just want to go back to sleeping all day, ignoring work, and essentially relapsing. What is going on, i like my life, i like my friends but i just feel this desire to go to sleep and never leave my bed and eat crap food and cease living without actually dying. anyone been in the same situation? anyone have any advice? my brain wants validation for these feelings that would allow me to fall back into these thought patterns but i know in my heart of hearts that i shouldn't want to go back. what do i do?
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That's good to hear!
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-Nofap(no porn and no masturbation)nn-Cold showersnn-Eating healthy and exercisenn-Less screen time(less social media and video games)nn- Lower your caffeine intakenn- Reading booksnn- Try to expose yourselfnnIf it did plz answer which ones.nnThank you for your time.nn​
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Healthy eating and exercise are great. Lowering caffeine intake may also do be helpful depending on your situation. nnThis stuff is all very personal, but the rest of the items on your list don't make a lot of sense to me.
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Hey everyone nI have been struggling with GAD, PD with agoraphobia and MDD since 6 months. My doc put me on lexapro (which didn't work) and Ativan (wasn't strong enough for me). After that, he placed me on mirtazapine to sleep and eat (but now I'm eating too much). I still struggle with depression but definitely a lot with anxiety. I also tried gabapentin and pregabalin with no luck. I tried sertraline years ago but it didn't work. nI'm also in therapy doing CBT and ACT. Trying to workout always despite intense anxiety. Also, I tried to eat well but I can't stop gaining weight from the mirtazapine. n So far, a doctor suggested Abilify but I'm worried about restlessness. What medications worked to control both conditions? Thank you :)
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I'm currently on 60 MG of prozac and 150 MG of welbutin. Not sure if the welbutin is working or not since it has only been a week and I think I won't start seeing results until 2 weeks. However one of the side effects supposedly is weight lose, might be able to skip the gym here and there
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Last two years of high school, hid in the bathroom during lunch. nSo fucking scary to say this though lol what if someone I knew knew my account? Damn.
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After my sophomore year, I usually hid in either the library or the bathroom at lunch and read, or walked around the school in paths strategically chosen to avoid passing any one place too frequently while looking like I was going somewhere. There were only so many lunchtime clubs you could join that didn't require talking or making eye contact.
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I have a question for y'all.... I'm considering going to therapy to help with this Anxiety... do u think it could help??
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Won't know unless you try.
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Separate account to get this off my chestnnIt happens so often where someone notices that I don't really socialize in gatherings and comes up to me to say
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Yes! The next time someone says that to me I'm turning it around by telling them
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Got a trim today. Lady was skilled, sweet and friendly. But, by God, she was so chatty. So chatty. I wanted to die.nnShe asked me so many questions about my life, my job, my education, my family and so on. It made me very uncomfortable. I felt like I was being deposed/ interrogated. nnMy anxiety was sky high. I wish I had thought of a polite and non-hurtful way to deflect the personal questions or to make her stop talking but I couldn't think of anything. My mind was blank and I was just trying my best to hold myself together coz my anxiety is really bad.nnShe also talked about hair care and gave me good tips which I appreciate greatly. That was okay.nnBut, I wish, she had kept the convo limited to stuff like hair care, skin care and stuff. I wish she didn't ask me any personal questions.nnI understand that she was just being friendly and I am sure most of her other clients like talking with her about all sorts of things but I was so, so uncomfortable the whole time. Maybe, if i were normal, I would have been okay with it too and would've happily chatted with her. But, i was feeling anxiety and the personal questions were making it so much worse.nnAfter she left, I have been giving myself a pep talk not to answer personal questions in the future. I don't want to and it makes me uncomfortable.nnA mostly silent haircut would be so nice.nn
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I don't have any pets.nnWhich is why I wanted to keep the subject on hair care, skin care etc.
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nnI look up stuff and it says
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I don't know if this is helpful at all, but two important things I remind myself is that small steps/things are a better way to go about coping with stuff and that if I can't keep up a routine or consistency with it, that's fine, because my here and there efforts DO count and it's already more progress than I've made before. To elaborate, for my mental health I try and do little things for myself when I think to, because “every day” is not realistic, that make life a bit more comfortable or peaceful. For instance working drains me, I'm stuck with Night Shift for now, but when Im on my way home I get to see the sun rise and I'll turn on my favorite songs or something that matches whatever vibe I'm feeling and I'll roll my window down a bit to feel and hear the wind (I like “white noise,” I sleep with a fan on) and try to just enjoy the scenery and moment while it lasts. Does it cure the depression and anxiety and stress? No, but it helps make it a bit more bearable. Another thing I do to make sure I'm at least snacking semi-regularly (again, consistently is not realistic for me so I don't set that expectation for myself) because it seems to help my mental health somewhat, (side note: the primitive part of your brain that is processing that fight/flight/fawn/freeze reaction might die down a bit if you can snack on something or chew gum because your brain knows that if you're eating, you can't possibly be in danger, because then you wouldn't be able to eat) is I'll buy quick, easy, snacks that take little to no effort to make such as toast with some butter and jam I like on it, something I can just open and microwave like an easy-meal or soup, crackers, potato chips, even some “junk food” just to have something that I enjoy eating and get SOMETHING in my stomach. I'm not good at keeping up my grooming and looks lately, but just splashing water on my face and at least using mouthwash if not a full brushing and maybe splashing some water on my hair to freshen up will do between showers because it does enough to make me presentable. When I have the energy, I'll get a few outfits or at least specific pieces of clothing that are the most comfortable to me ready and set aside so instead of making an outfit later, when I don't have the energy and focus, I already have my favorite clothes ready to put on. It's the little things, those online articles and a lot of therapists even over-generalize (not quite the term but close enough) how to go about coping practices and mental health hygiene, like for deep breathing, those exercises only help if you can get yourself to practice and get used to doing them without thinking much about it when you're NOT in too bad of a funk, or else you'll never think to use it or it won't help much when you do maybe need it, but instead of explaining that everyone says “just do it!” nnSorry about the ramble, lots of thoughts I was trying to cram haha
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Why is it when men talk about abuse faced from thier mother, women tend to belittle them saying
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I hope you are doing better in life now friend! That's a tough situation..
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I don't think I have social anxiety but back in grade school I was nervous in social situations, now that nervousness is gone but it's still hard to talk to people and it has ruined my social life/relationships
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there's a social skills sub. you should check it out!
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The wrong thing to do is get in their face and yell at them about why they shouldn't be having a panic attack. Thanks, dad.nnPeople differ on whether they should be touched or not. For me, a blanket or a gentle circular back rub are soothing. nnOffer them a glass of ice water. Tiny sips will help calm them down. The cold may help ground them in reality and the water will be hydrating.nnI don't like being talked to, but others may appreciate soothing words of affirmation.nnComment with additional tips!
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This is just me as I've dealt with them for 20+ years, just let me be. I need to concentrate on one thing to get my heart to stop pounding. Stimuli makes it worse. Usually I focus on a color with my eyes closed or something I see in front of me.
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How do I die?
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ah yes every teacher is like this here...
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Kid wouldn't shut up about what he saw in the trailer and what was gonna happen next and what happened just now and what should've happened and I snapped. I shushed the kid very loudly and his mother got embrassed and made the kid stop talking but it made me very uncomfortable. My heart beat raised and I felt really anxious and I couldn't follow the movie for about a minute or two.nnI understand how to look normal socially and have small talk from time to time but I don't think I would ever be able to handle myself properly when dealing with strangers. I can't do it.
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Dude! You totally did the right thing there! Talking during a movie is so disrespectful.
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I'm not talking about unwarranted self-talk but just like,
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I hate my birthday, I hate getting recognized, being the center of attention sucks, I hate social gatherings.
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I thought having lectures through zoom would be a lot more manageable but I still find myself seizing up when we're asked questions, opinions etc. Any tips to help over come this fear would be very appreciated :)
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I also struggle with the same thing. I think a small thing that helped me was realizing that most of the class doesn't want to speak/participate either. There are so many shy people in college.
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My (f 22) social anxiety is still quite severe, tho it improved in the last few years. I only really have one friend, thus I don't go out too often (on average once every couple months). I have never been in a relationship before and am still a virgin. I used to be religious up until last year and was a big supporter of this whole
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Obviously without seeing you we can't determine if you're ugly or not but I'll bet you anything it stems from your social anxiety which definitely can cause a poor self image. I'm 9 years older than you and still a virgin because of my social anxiety so my advice would be to not put so much pressure on yourself because of it, society base far too much of a persons worth by how many people they've slept with. If your seriously having suicidal thoughts then definitely reach out to someone either close to you or wherever you can get some professional support. Best of luck to you.
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This is the first time I used the stove for anything other than fried eggs. nI did have an anxiety attack the evening leading up to it and I was on the verge of crying too, but I did it.nnHopefully next time I will be less anxious doing it.
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Oh! I feel super happy for you!! :DnI have similar feelings around cooking - refused to use the oven in the last place I lived. And whenever I had to use the stobe to boil pasta or rice or anything, it gave me anxiety that lasted almost the entire day, fear of having things burn down or something. nnIts a lot better now tho. Not sure exactly what made it better. In my new place I have one of those more modern stoves which has a clear light whenever the stove is on. I think that helps me feel reassured that everything is off after I am finished cooking. nnI also think that using a slow cooker (Crockpot?) has also helped to ease my way into cooking.nnBest of luck to you!
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I know for sure I have social anxiety and the symptoms between SA and autism tend to overlap.nnI also have ADHD, and the symptoms of ADHD and autism sometimes overlap too.nnThis is why I wonder so much. Its really hard to know.
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I wondered that a few times in my life but I always come to the conclusion that this isn't the case since I can't really relate to most of the experiences and symptoms that Autism entails. Really the only thing I can relate with when it comes to Autism is a difficulty forming social relations everything else sounds very foreign to me. And people on the Autism spectrum aren't the only people struggling with that. So I really don't think I'm autisticnnnEdit: Okay man so this got me interested in the subject again and I went through the DSM-5 criteria https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.htmln and really want to share my thoughts on the points for myself here because actually for some of them I'm not sure and the input of y'all might help:nnA:n1. Abnormal social approach maybe but more due to anxiety or lack of experience (also mostly due to anxiety) I know how a
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I can't stop making stupid decisions when I'm in the middle of a panic attack due to my anxiety. My heart starts racing like mad and I can't think straight and often just do stupid things or make stupid decisions. If I am talking to someone at the same time then it will be very easy to hear in my voice just how nervous I am. I honestly think that the only way I will get better is by medication because I am truly lost...
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Yup. This happened to me at work the other day. Over something so, so stupid. I couldn't decide how to clean up a mess at work because I was freaking out so much. Just know I
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Most of the times, when I go outside. I feel like i am covered with shit all over me. I be so anxious around people and sweat too much. I tried yesterday going outside for a walk, same feeling. but I've got home and take few inhales from a cigarette. I felt so dizzy, as a first time smoker but when I've got outside; I felt normal which is a very strange feeling for me, I looked in people's eyes without any hesitation, I was not feeling like shit i felt very very calm, not like I shit my pans every time a girl looks at me or smth, but what is super strange is i got this idea of going inside a private building center and have a conversation with someone, I didn't have a second thought, I just got a head and do it. Omg that was the best feeling in my life. once i got inside I met this hot girl.
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I can relate to this but instead of smoking is drinking... It started as just social drinking in parties but as soon as I started feeling insecure I would need to drink more. There were times when I was just going out with friends but I would drink a bit before leaving just out of fear of not being able to talk to them normally. nI stopped because I know it isnt good but I still fall for it in large parties... nidk I feel like depending on anything can become a serious problem so I would avoid it...
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When I was around 10-11 I found out my mom was cheating on my dad, I used her phone to play games and got a message from some guy saying “hi precious” and I clicked on it since I saw it wasn't my dads contact, saw a lot of conversations of my mom just cheating with other guys. At this time she also went to work and supposedly would go to the gym afterwards. Another family lived with us and the women in that family had some bad morals and my mom would just kinda follow along. Throughout this whole period of over a year I was told by the other women's son that he knew my mom and his would go cheat and go have I intercourse with other guys. He was able to drive since he was 16 at the time, he would take me to the gym my mom would say she went to and we wouldn't find her as a way for him to prove it to me. I told my dad and my dad didn't do much he just sort of used me as a messenger to tell him things. I confronted my mom and she cried and apologized to me but not about cheating she just used falling out of love to excuse her cheating. Since I was 8 my mom would sometimes tell my dad in front of me and other people “if I cheat on you, you know why” or “don't act surprised if I cheat on you” and would talk about him being horrible in bed. Which has now affected me to think that if I'm not good in bed then I'll never maintain a relationship or at least a faithful one and has caused to me now have a very hard time reaching climax during the act, because I only really see intercouse as a means to satisfy the other person. Now I'm 16 and I've been having night terrors about my mom having affairs and I'm a kid again going through the same feelings I did back then, and when I wake up I just get flooded with those feelings and want to cry really badly. Whenever I see the mom in an affair in shows, all those feelings resurge and I start to get mad and annoyed and then after all that I want to cry again. It's been happening for months now, and it only started after seeing a guy in my moms Facebook comments saying the same thing that guy said “hi precious” now my mom didn't even have him added back or anything and the lives a country away so I'm assuming it's just some random dude tryna shoot his shot but when after I saw that it's when all this shit started happening.
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No there's no talking to her about things like these, she immediately makes herself the victim and starts to throw fits like a child. Where she starts making other threats like
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Over this weeks, I've been helping a few friends coping with their break-ups and dealing with some life issues, and I just feel as bad as they do and whenever they cry I also cry. It's weird, but I feel their emotion just as I was the one breaking up (even though I've never been in a relationship). Also I can see whenever people are happy, sad, worried, etc. Does anyone here feel the same way or having a similar situation? I mean I have SA but also apparently I'm a very emotional person...
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I am crushingly empathetic as well. It can be overwhelming, and I find it easier to just isolate myself. I think it goes hand in hand with my social anxiety.
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I usually get extremely anxious when it comes to talking to people, especially doctors. I decided I would just write down what I needed to say and it helped me a lot. Normally, I stumble and stutter but I actually sounded professional this time. Im proud of myself.
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Whoop whoop ud83dude4cud83dude4c
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i think I parked crooked asf too and I don't want them to put a face too the person who's always parking crooked (I stay in my lines) anddddd ITS HOT ASF nI've been in here for too long already and once I walk out they're gonna think I'm weird for sitting in a hot ass car nWHY WONT THEY GO INSIDE ALREADYnnUpdate: I'm inside now , I just said fuck it , plus I'm hungry
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I've hidden myself in a pantry because I didn't want to talk to someone. I was in there for nearly 10 mins. Would not recommend
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I think I'm the most awkward person in the world but when I ask people about it they don't think that at all and think I'm acting normal. Why do I keep making up delusions in my head that I act a certain way when I don't actually?
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It's so weird! It's like having conspiracy theories about yourself. there was a girl at my old job who I really envied for her ability to chat to anyone and be really confident, but when we got closer she told me she struggled with this as well! It was so weird because I couldn't imagine nailing social situations like she did. nnI do the exact same thing, like a painful cringe after interacting followed by spiralling rumination. I've found it helpful to remind myself that just because I think it doesn't mean it's true, and to practice meditation to help me watch thoughts go by without panicking.
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Forgive my english if there are errors. I have been thinking about this for a long time. Although most people we associate social anxiety with are people who don't believe they look good enough to get around I feel that it could happen to even people who realise they look attractive after being appreciated for their looks by the people around them and find themselves burdened with the need to constantly assess their behavior to check whether it syncs with their looks. I don't mean that one must be proud of one's looks but ruining your life with anxiety isn't good either. Being attractive makes it difficult to blend in the crowd and gives you way more attention than you can sustain if you have severe social anxiety. When you look good it feels like you are expected to have a personality that matches your looks like for example having a good face but not having confidence or even being able to talk freely would be so painful since an attractive face matches with only certain kinds of expressions and if you can't have those expressions for some reason you feel like a loser. As another example think about having a good physique but lacking confidence when you walk around places. I seem to have been going through this for a long time. Anybody have any thoughts on this??
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I get what you're saying.nnI've been on both “sides”. I went through an “ugly duckling” phase. Then started working out constantly and also just kinda grew out of that phase. I'm still super critical of my appearance, but I get regular compliments on it, and I guess I'm “conveniently attractive”, or whatever. Really wish I could see what others claim to see.. lol.nnAnyway, I feel like there are unique circumstances in each scenario. When I was not considered attractive, my awkwardness was always chalked up to exactly what it was.. anxiety. If I were awkward, people would tend to recognize that I was just awkward.. or I was just considered “weird”. After I became what society deems attractive, my social anxiety didn't come off as social anxiety anymore. It came off as being a “stuck up bitch”, apparently. I've never been stuck up, just anxious about saying/doing the wrong thing.. lol.
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Hey everyone, I'm currently trying to find out how one could make the lives of college students a lot easier ;) nnWhich is why I have two very simple questions: nn1. As a college student, what are the 2 biggest issues you're dealing with in your social life? nn2. Regarding your social life, what would you wish for more than anything else? nnThanks so much in advance - looking forward to reading your answers!
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1. Public speaking. I just can't do it. My voice gets very shaky I forget what I wanna say, if there's a choice not to speak, I'll take it, even if I'm interested in a topic.n2. I just want to be normal
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Hello. nMy psychologist has many times told me that what makes you anxious is the thoughts not the situation? nJust had a situation and got anxious because of the situation. nIs it really social anxiety then?
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Anxiety can be triggered by certain situations. If this is happening its important for your psychologist to understand so you guys can figure it out together.
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I've just been pathetically crying myself to sleep every single night over the upcoming college year my parents forced me in. To the point where it makes me want to throw up. nThe college is fairly huge and I am killing myself over the fear of getting lost when trying to find my classes,..and especially walking into an already full class just staring at me. nMy schedule for the semester is also confusing but I'm too scared to ask for help figuring it out..and the college student website is pretty useless at helping me with it too. nI would also ask for a tour but the scheduling process for it needs to be at least 2 weeks in advance, which would be too late by then. nThis should not be complicated, I'm so damn cowardly. nJust the stress and dread over this pathetic situation drills me to the point where it makes me wish i won't wake up before college begins.nGosh I just really despise myself.
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Every new student feels at least little like this it's the pre adventure jetters. The key to college is to ask questions all the time. Email your professors, visit the information office every week with questions, ask your classmates the best way to get from hall to hall. And don't worry about getting lost that will for sure happen your first week cause it literally happens to everyone.
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He was going to come over my house so I spent the day prepared for it and then our plans changed and I'm going to his house where his parents are, and I'm having dinner there. I'm really nervous, mostly just because his parents and family is there and I'm not comfortable around them. Any advice on how I can calm down and go?
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I've had a lot of good happen when I told people I was nervous. Upvote for you.
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Sorry for ignorant question, but I never got this. So many people post here about problems with their boyfriend, relationship, etc., while people with actual social anxiety disorder have no chance for even having anyone to be loved by, even if they would really want to. It takes so much to get one, that I wonder if that person really has SA, because he/she has overcame all the difficulties of having SA and found a soulmate.nnRant over :(
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Its different kind of attention, girls are less likely to be taken seriously, silly things they say are cute while guy being random is immature and dumb :/ if people see you struggling they don't bully you like guys, this brings back memories from highschool. Guys in my class were bullys and insulting, which contributed to the sa. Worst period of my life. And all the compliments, hitting on would just boost my girly ego:)
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Hi to whoever is reading this, I just want to rant because I feel so hopeless and really need to let it out.nnEver since I was little, my relationship with my family has always been distant. My relationship with my dad is super awkward that even small talk is intense, so we try to avoid each other in the house sometimes. It has always been like that all my life. With my mother, she doesn't understand boundaries and we have opposing views and beliefs. She's an extremist Christian while religion has no importance in my life. She always brings up religion, not only with me, but with my entire extended family and strangers. Honestly, it just gets so annoying because you just want to have a normal conversation, but she has an excessive obsession to try to change people. And then she wonders why she doesn't have any friends or why my family stopped visiting her. SMH! She says stupid shit like
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I see, that sounds common for people with social anxiety from what I've read and from what my therapist has told me as well. We're nervous that we're going to be awkward, and the nervousness actually makes us even more awkward. That causes other people to feel uncomfortable, which we pick up on, and in turn we get more nervous. It's a terrible cycle that if left unchecked will get worse and worse.nnHave your therapists tried to help with that?nnIn case you haven't found this yet, there's a book by Ellen Hendriksen on social anxiety. IMHO it's hard for a book alone to fix anything, but I liked that it helped me understand social anxiety better and in particular which behaviors of mine were making things worse. I'm doing CBT with a therapist now, and I'm slowly starting to get better.nnI'm trying to attack the problem from two sides--reducing nervousness in social situations and improving social skills (which is what I get anxious about) to help break my cycle. The progress is slow, and sometimes difficult, but I really don't want this to affect my life anymore.nnIt sounds like you don't really have much faith in the therapy anymore though. Have you always been seeing this same therapist, or have you tried a few different ones (excluding the group therapies)?
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anxiety/depression is tough but we've really driven
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Debilitating?
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- I'm scared of literally everythingn - I can't talk to anybodyn - I hate loud noisesn - I don't drink alcoholn - I only drink watern - I've never been in a relationshipn - I'm not funnyn - I'm a huge nerdnnThese things keep me awake at night. Why can't I just be normal? By now, I've just accepted my fate. I will die alone. I'm surrounded by people who are living a far better life than me, and all I can do is watch. nnI'm sorry for ranting, I know its what everyone seems to be doing lately. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading.
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This reminds me of my girlfriend, but she is hilarious. I'm sure you are too, if you find someone that's right for you. You don't owe friends/family/co-workers/strangers to be a comedian. It's different when you have a partner that you click with, especially if you laugh at the same things. Also, all the things on your list are very normal. The biggest obstacle is getting past being scared, but I'm sure you are working on that. I need to be alone a lot, but being lonely is not fun. You deserve more.
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Hey there. I mentioned in a post if people would be interested in creating a support group, pretty much it's an open group on skype where we can chat, talk about our struggles or whatever our heart desires. I feel like it really helps venting out to
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It would be fun to chat. I may check it out.
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so, here's the thing, life has been quite hard for the past 3-4 years, and i was quite good at concealing it, like, my parents never noticed anything, but since last year, things have changed a lot, my parents saw my self harm marks( i do them on my upper arm because i don't wear sleeveless dresses, but my mom saw it while i was sleeping and told my father), and they are ashamed of me because of that, my mom keeps telling me, how ugly it is and how disappointing i am to do this, they keep telling me, how they had expectations from me but i'm just a disappointment and i'm really tired, really tired. things are quite heavy because of college and i can feel that my mental health is in a really bad position, i don't like eating anymore, my sleep pattern is messed up, i can't concentrate properly, i don't have friends, i can't talk to anyone, because when i tell my cousins these things, they just say 'don't think too much' avoid me, i'm really tired and i just don't know what to do. everyday it's the same cycle of waking up, thinking i was gone, trying to get through the day, my parents forcing things on me, trying to do college stuff, i just, i don't know why i'm like this.
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thank you, thank you so much.
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i prefer listening to other people's conversations rather than being in them myself. i don't like externalizing my own thoughts, it's so vulnerable. other people's conversations feel smooth like butter, meanwhile i can barely keep it going because I'm so in-my-head. it all happens so quickly and i can barely process anything because I'm perceiving them while perceiving how they perceive me and looking for signs that they hate me.nnhonestly i feel like my conversations are so fake because I'm pretending to be this social creature who enjoys talking when really i just want to shrivel up and become invisible. it's so stressful.
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Same, I'm always amazed and jealous of people that have the ability to keep conversations going and be interesting or witty, meanwhile I'm struggling so hard to think of things to say.
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I think in terms of social skills, I'm still stuck in middle school
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I don't really know what I do. I really wish sometimes to be the person infront of me and see how I talk/interact. People say that I am a nice person. I notice people being awkward around me, am I charming or weird? I will never know. Someone jokingly said that I flirt with everyone. When I can't see how could I sound flirty. I don't see myself as a confident or socially skilled person. I feel awkward all the time
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Sub-breakthrough. I ripped a bit and had some strange loopy closed-eye visions as you'd expect but as it ended I wanted to continue so I ripped some more. I have a pen vape so it's easy to just hit more at will until the chamber's empty.nnBut then HERE'S where it got interesting. Because I realized in myself that I had some kind of fear I suppose. I couldn't quite place it. Why was I afraid? Was I afraid of death? I knew there was some sort of resistance but I didn't quite know.nnUsually on trips I keep my eyes open and my ceiling lamp often becomes the
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Yeah except a guy I know tripped with me and went into psychosis sprinted through town naked and ended up in hospital for 3 days. So I suppose that's why.nnHe already believed in reptilian overlords and smashed houses up on alcohol so I guess he's just a madman.
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Right now I feel a lot but then I feel kindve numb I'm just tired from dealing with my self nnI've failed everyone and myself
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Stop over thinking about your past and try not to think to much about what is going on around you. nStart focusing on the good things.nnWhen.i am.having a hard time I pray and tell God no mater what I am feeling at this.moment I know you are going to make something amazing happen for me today and I look for it there is always something.
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I try to avoid neighbours as much as possible even if I seem rude. Does anyone else do this? And does anyone else avoid people in general and then worry if they have ro meet them in another social context and it will be awkward because you have avoided them this whole time
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The show “Alone” looks like a good time to me. What does that tell ya?
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I feel like I will be trapped in this state forever, never be able to break free and meet new people in this life
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Nope. At least not me, I'm too far gone and settled. If I were maybe 10-20 years younger I'd give myself a chance. But this is just me and the situation that I've made for myself really. Your results may vary to a large degree.nnI have SA mitigated enough to be somewhat functional, mostly at work though. But the personal and social life aspect is not something that I'm able to handle with the coping mechanisms that I have. I can do my shopping, work and pay my bills. So I'm surviving at least. I'm shit at asking for higher wages but I do something that has made me ill replaceable so they seem to be paranoid about me leaving so I haven't really had to worry about initiating those discussions, though I could probably ask for more.nnI used to throw myself way to much into work, still do sometimes. But I'm trying to curb that behaviour it's not healthy and it has diminishing returns when you advance to a certain level.nnI spend way to much time sitting in front of my computer or sleeping, I've been sleeping a lot lately because I feel so drained after the daily interactions just at work these days. I don't know how I would be like if I were out trying to socialize like this. Probably need days to recharge. Plus with the way things are what else is there to do?nnThis is a somewhat new dynamic for me with the excessive sleeping though. Been working mostly from home during Covid. Which means a lot of phone calls and online meetings. The meetings I can do easy enough. It's the sheer amount of phone calls that I'm probably getting drained by. Phone calls are not and never have been something I can handle well. I dread making them and fear answering them.nnI'm only doing benzos as needed right now, not daily. But I have tried pretty much every SSRI and SNRI under the sun. And I've gotten nothing but side effects from most of them. I'm very resistant to all drugs in general, which might be related to various neurological issues I have that are minor but numerous enough for me to realize that my system is likely atypical. nnI've done CBT, been to a psychologist for years and read pretty much every literature piece on this thing that there is. I absolutely went bananas reading various studies and research papers for a few years. But nothing really helped me.nnThis is just me. Your experiences and situation is going to be vastly different.
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I lived in practically one place my whole life and I finally decided to leave and move to a whole new city. I knew I'd have to find new friends when I got here, and I hoped this would help my social anxiety in the long term. nnI've been here about a 3-4 weeks and I have no idea what to do as far as meeting people. Meeting random people from the internet gives me bad anxiety. Dating for me is extremely anxiety inducing. I'm a social individual once I get to know people, but finding, initiating, and developing that initial friendship or relationship with someone is beyond hard for me. I feel torn -- I really want to meet new people and explore everything this city offers, but I'm fearful, anxious, and lost on how to meet new people. I feel my anxiety is getting worse thinking I'm going to be stuck here not knowing anyone.nnDoes anyone have any advice or be able to discuss what they did to overcome this?
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I also recently moved to a new city and have been feeling alone. In time there will be people you connect to in the city, possibly at work or other places. I personally am trying to get out more, go to museums and stuff. And hopefully I come across some good people. But the first step is to really get out there.
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After school I (NB) went to the library to sit so I can wait for my mom to pick me up. Then there's these two people coming into the library, talking, and one of the girl saw me and told me I was pretty, I was flattered and said thank you, we went onto have a little conversation and then she asked for my phone number. At this point I was very flattered and yet a bit paranoid. I gave it to her and we hugged, when I left she and her friend literally screamed in joy for getting my phone number. She texted me just now and I don't know what to do. I'm absolutely paranoid about first encounters and impressions, I'm afraid I won't be able to be her at her level. WHAT DO I DO
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It would be nice to have a relationship with someone, but you weren't born to meet a checklist of expectations. nnThe expectations don't matter because what you are feeling is more valuable than that. You are opening yourself up to a new relationship, which is great by itself but even better because you made someone happy in the process. You will be sharing new conversations and memories with them.nnExpectations are so small and limited compared to the value you have as a person. Defying expectations isn't a bad thing because you are more than that. You're doing fine, just try to enjoy yourself.
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Don't really know what to say, but I'm too scared to go to the gym. I really want to work out, hopefully to gain some self confidence, but every single day I make up an excuse to go tomorrow. I'm just too scared of the other people at the gym and what they will think of an unexperienced skinny guy attempting to work out
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I'm really skinny and I've this has been an issue in my mind sometimes. But just think of it like this, you are doing something to improve yourself, which is an awesome thing that takes a lot of discipline. Those people in that gym had to start out somewhere too. Be proud that you even showed up, unlike a lot of other people that are too lazy to care. Keep it up and you'll be so glad you did.
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i've had this fear since like 2016. I'm 21 now. I managed to get a part time job back in 2018 to 2019 for about 8 months as a waiter. I planned on working there longer but the business ended up shutting down which was a blessing in disguise as it was really stressful for me. I'm looking to go again now but I'm really struggling with committing to it. I know I can provide decent customer service as I am friendly and smile. It's more so if I make myself look bad, not knowing what I'm doing at the most simplest things because I feel like I have so little experience, I'll fuck up everything. I also struggle with interviews so it's just so annoying
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I'm in the same boat. I know I can do good once I'm working (customer service too) but it makes my anxiety levels go up and I can barely deal with job interviews and anything job hunting related (emails, calls). Sadly have no advice to give but I wish you good luck.
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Hello everyone,nnI am trying to make new friends (virtual or in-person) but find it difficult due to my social anxiety. I'm a 21 y/o female. Any help would be awesome!
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What do you do virtually you play any games or anything?
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at first i really liked my therapist because he's very talkative, which makes me feel a whole lot more comfortable since i don't have to talk as much. we've done weekly sessions, but now he's sent me home with instructions about how to do exposure therapy by yourself and i don't have another session for 3 weeks. i've gone through the instructions and don't feel like that's something i'd be able to do at this point in my life, let alone by myself, but i'm scared he'll just discharge me if i tell him that (although the did mention the possibility of social skills training, which i think would help me). what kind of therapy has helped you guys? what should i ask/expect of my therapist?
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Weird, maybe go to a different therapist if he suggests quitting already when you clearly aren't ready. nnI assume a good therapist will develop a plan with you to overcome your anxiety, and helps you until you've improved or feel like you can do it on your own. Sorry, wish I could provide more insight. Hopefully someone in reddit can share their experience with you.
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welp
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One time in a group setting, we were brain storming and it was literally like I wasn't there. There was one guy, who was always very nice, who noticed I was speaking and made sure he was paying attention and nodding to what I said. As nice as his gesture was it made me feel bad that he was probably pitying me.
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Any advice for what to do when you forget to take your anti-depressants for a few days and your brain starts to feel like it's having a seizure with a drum solo? Is taking an extra one a thing?
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DO NOT TAKE AN EXTRA ONE. Once you realise you've gone off your schedule just start taking the regular amount at the same time of day you used to
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So I have a problem with buses around my workplace, and I was supposed to go home a few times pretty late but it meant I should wait an hour for the bus to arrive. A few of those times I decided I won't wait and walked for 20 minutes on foot in a dangerous path near the road where cars drive literally a few centimeters away from my body to get to another bus station, because I really needed to get home. The thought of asking someone to take me there never occurred to me(even though it's just a 2 minute ride). nnI honestly just gave excuses to myself as for why I shouldn't ask anyone. Because they are busy at work/because there's no one that can take me. I had absolutely no idea I could ask someone to take me there and go back to the workplace, and frankly I didn't even try, I just assumed nobody can. nnEven at times when we have to decide for 1 person to stay, I always feel guilty and selfish when I go home instead of someone else, although I do haves stuff to do at evening. I used to agree to stay but it meant I'd have to do this dangerous 20 minute walk to get to the bus station. nnI honestly hate that I do this, I make myself so small compared to other people that I'd rather suffer than ask someone to take just 4 minutes of their time to drive me somewhere. nnI was wondering why I had this fear. Maybe I was afraid of bothering them, or of them disliking me because of it, as irrational as I know it is. The fact that I'm a people pleaser really puts me at a tough spot and I hate being like this, I feel so submissive and quiet when I'm really not just because I'm afraid of bothering someone else/angering them/making them dislike me. I can't even confront people face to face, and in the rare occasions I try(usually it's with someone I'm comfortable with), I do it with zero confidence and I prepare to apologize once they react badly. I even have a hard time speaking clearly in front of people I'm uncomfortable around because I don't want to burden them and they end up not hearing me sometimes. I cant pretend it doesn't bother me when someone else is disappointed or disturbed by a decision that I have made, even if I try to take a risk and do it or ask for help. nnDoes anyone have tips for how I can overcome people pleasing? How can I overcome being too shy to ask people for help?
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I'm the same exact way. nnSorry you're getting stupid replies.nnThis usually starts from your family of origin, and then perpetuated by internal shame and low self-worth.nnThe road to healing is actually hard but it can be done. You need to start by lying to yourself (at least it will feel like lying).nnEvery day tell yourself you're a cool person and that people like you for who you are.nnThis is probably exactly the opposite of some of your strongest held beliefs, so I know this will not be easy.nnBut if you lie to yourself every day in this way, your brain will start to be tricked into believing it. nnBut in terms of asking people to drive you home, try to reframe your mindset. Remember that people like to help others and it makes them feel important. So when you ask someone for help, what you're doing is telling them that they are valuable and they have something to offer you.nnSo in a weird way, you are actually doing a favor for someone else by asking for them to take you home. It's probably not a favor if you them to do it five days in a row, but if you are using the first strategy I said, then it might be a gift for them to spend a few extra minutes with you every day. I know that will be hard to believe and it would be hard for me to believe too, but you need to get home, right?nnWhy not give it a try?
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I‘m 22 suffering from depression and Social Anxiety since I was 15. I tried 13 prescription meds, 2 depth psychological therapies and 1 cognitive behavioral therapy, everything without success. I feel depressed, anxious and dumb. Treatment resistant they call it.nnIs there any possibility that Hydroxizine could help after so many treatment failures?nn1. What‘s your experience with it for (especially Social) Anxiety (as this is the main source of my depression) and depression/mood in general?nn2. Can it be taken only if needed or must it be taken daily for weeks/months (as antidepressants)? How long did it take until it worked / showed effects for you? nn3. What dose is effective for you?nn4. What would you describe its effects like regarding mood/depression, sociability/talkativeness/social anxiety, general & future anxiety, energy/drive/motivation and cognition etc?nnWhat else did work for your social anxiety? I really can‘t bear living a life like this with so much mental pain much longer. I‘m fighting and fighting and still life is a daily pain, frustration and suffering.
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Hi there!nnI was put on Hydroxyzine in addition to the Lexapro I take now. My experience is it has been mostly helpful however there are times I notice it isnt as effective as other days depending on the situation.nnThe good thing is it can be taken as needed however I noticed if I take it in the morning with my medication I'm usually good for the day. For me it kicks in anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes usually. It definitely calms me down and keeps my mind from wandering all over the place during a panic attack.nnI noticed that 10 mg is pretty effective for me on top of the 10 mg of Lexapro I take in the morning.nnI mainly take it to try to eliminate my Panic Attacks and help fight my mood. I definitely think it helps me in social situations because I'm not worried about my anxiety or depression the whole time. I will say the first couple times taking it I definitely felt tired but the more you take it and get used to it the tiredness kind of goes away. It has definitely been a lifesaver and helped me when I needed something quickly. nThere have been days where I take it in the morning and if I'm having a rough afternoon I will take it again which is nice to be able to take it as you need.nnI noticed the more I push myself out to go do things the better I normally feel when I feel cooped up in a house for a couple days on end is usually when I feel my worst. So just trying to get out and do things Has definitely helped me. nnHang in there I know it's a tough fight I still have bad days as well as good days I just take it in stride.
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recently ive been having tics due to my anxiety and also because ive been watching youtubers with tourettes. before this, my habit is to slap my face whenever i feel angry but now it has turned into a tic. it's like a face palm but harder. i would do that if i feel bad, anxious, ashamed or triggered. does anyone experience this? is it like a nervous tic or am i hallucinating?
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I don't think I'm the right person to read that list. You need someone who can make a commitment to sitting with you in person and going through each item one by one. nnI hope that isn't too frustrating as I realize you're having a terrible time finding a flesh-and-blood person who knows how to listen. Sorry about that. The good news is once you find one things are going to happen quickly. Getting to the point where you are finally ready to talk is usually the hardest part.nnThe last thing I'll say for now is that one of the final steps of therapy is forgiving your parents. Once you figure out how your childhood affected you, you will also begin to see how their childhoods affected them, and how unprepared they were to be your parents. Real therapy doesn't mean you have to be angry at your parents forever. It just means that from now on you will no longer be running from the truth.
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I'm not talking about severe breathing issues or panic-induced hyperventilation but rather something like the following...nnYour family member is in the Hospital. Your mind races, thinking the worst. Meanwhile, your kid has developed a cough.
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Oh yeah! Shortness of breath, the feeling of it being hard to breathe, sensation of tightening chest, and even hyperventilation. I've passed out a couple times from it.
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I feel like every new thing I see is nothing new. It all just feels kinda mundane, which is why I've been smoking weed and drinking the past year. I just feel that reality is so lame. I drive my boyfriend crazy telling him that I always want to go out and do something, but nothing seems to satisfy me like it used to. My anxiety always stops me from doing the productive dreams I have, so I get depressed and frustrated and just sooo bored. My self esteem is so low and I really wish I had a group of girls to hang out with...I feel so exhausted and my thoughts race alllll the time. Idk. If you guys find life boring, how do you pull yourself out of it/can you?
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Thanks for the insight. I sometimes had very energetic highs with intense laughter but I was never able to link it to a certain kind of weed. CBS is illegal in Switzerland as well :-(. nnnI also tried it twice mushrooms as I heard that psilocybin can help with anxiety. Both times were the most frighting experiences I every had. But somehow very enlightening in regard of my social anxiety.
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I don't have a lot of friends (which is a given considering my state), and I have a hard time feeling like people actually view me as their friend (which is harder for me than making said friends), also I am seen as a closed off person even though I view myself as a pretty open person, even too open.nnThe thing is that once people actually make an effort to befriend me I get kind of scared, like, there's this boy who texts me a lot, not like in a disturbing stalker way, but in an actually reaching out way, actually caring way, sometimes when he text me I get overwhelmed, I feel like he gets to close, I feel like I want to ghost him (sometimes I do, and then he sand me '???' and it stresses me out even more)nnSame goes for one of my friends who keeps saying things like 'that is so us' and acting like we have a special super close bond, it makes me want to push him away, or saying things to prove him that he is not special, that the way I act around him is not because he is special or something like that (which is true to a degree, but I know it's not the nicest thing to say).nnIt's not like I don't like them or enjoy their company, but it stresses me out when they get too close to me, I don't know if it's a coincidence that they are both boys or something (it happens more with boys than girls, generally I befriend more boys than girls, but still).nn ndoes this happen to anyone else?nnEDITED for grammar and clarity.
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Yeah I do the same. I have about 2 friends who I am very comfortable with and are close with. Everyone else, I've realised I pushed away. There was this girl who was really nice to me (first time a girl that has actually reached out to me), she would always text me just like how that boy does to you. At some point, we became too close for my comfort so I pushed her away and we are no longer friends :D.
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Hi, I'm 17 years old and on the 29th I'm going to a festival with bands that I really like for the first time that will last 1 week, and I thought it could be a way to fight my fears and social anxiety, but now that there's less and less time I'm getting more and more panic and I'm afraid of giving me several panic attacks over there or dying there, can anyone please give any tips? Thanks
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I hope so mate! Music festivals are honestly such a great way to experience music but obviously the more daunting with anxiety but will always be worth the stress you'll face beforehand. Once it's started you'll be so carried away with excitement that it will fly by! Enjoy :)
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25M. My case is extremely bad, probably one of the worst ones you've heard. It's to the point of suicidal thoughts. But obviously I wanna change and live life like a normal personnnSo I got in touch with a therapist through a family member's reference. We talked on text, because that's the only medium I'm comfortable communicating in, and we settled for the first session next week.nnShe's the same age as me and she's really pretty. I've no experience with talking to women of my age since I've always avoided it cuz of anxiety. The idea of opening up to her face to face in a closed space for an hour every week feels so terrifying. I'm afraid I'll be stuttering and not able to get any words across at all. nnAnd I know the reason i'm going there is to attempt to fix all these issues in the first place, but STILL!
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Okay #1 - sending love & support homie.nnAs someone who also had a cute therapist of the opposite sex... ya just try not to focus/dwell on it.nnSo, us having social anxiety, the first couple sessions are gonna be rocky. Yeah, you might stutter or stammer or be awkward because this is a new situation. It's fine. It's how we're wired! But it'll smooth itself out as your therapist helps you unpack your shit and come closer to whatever-your-goal-is. Just be patient with yourself and don't focus on it.nnIf the face-to-face thing is bothering you/causing issues, let me ask you this - how are you with phone calls? Like... Right, so, I too have social anxiety (/ social phobia) and I would generally avoid eye contact during my first few sessions with a new therapist. It's fine. If it's a concern for you, I would advise maybe also avoiding eye contact, or maybe just turn away from them. Be upfront about why you're doing it though, because it'll help your therapist understand you and thus help you.nnTherapy can be intimidating but it's honestly so great to be able to open up and get help with shit. It might take a little bit to get going, but once yall get going? It helps so much. Just be as open & honest as you can. Your therapist is there to help. Always remember that.
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36 here, and I'm afraid this will never go away...nnIt used to be worse in my 20s and I've made some progress, though, but I still try to avoid social interactions, feel extremely insecure meeting people, feel trapped and extremely anxious when I have to spend time alone with coworkers, etc. It's exhausting.
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Sorry for the late reply, I was on holiday - travelled a lot on my own in my 20s too! nnI'm not sure what specifically triggered it, to be honest. I have paruresis which has progressively gotten worse over the years, plus I'm getting (and looking) old and having to face the fact that I will most likely die alone so the idea of having to see young couples out and about is kinda depressing. nnSo, yeah - a combination of all of the above. Somehow travelling doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as simply going to my city's shopping district. Strange.
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Cause that happens to me alot.. and I think that's the reason why Im so shy around everyone. Fear of being ignored
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During my mastersdegree I worked for the college. They had a huge workload and so it was normal that reactions to my work almost never came immediately. nAt least I thought so. There were a couple incidents where nobody even said hi to me or acknowledged me in any way.nnLike I was standing outside with a friend when my u201ebossu201c came along. She greeted him and also asked him a couple questions and I stood right next to them and was ostracized immediately. Didn't even know if i should go now or stay. Best thing was, that my friend didn't worked for her and didn't even know her that well. He also felt strange but didn't know how to get me into the situation. nnThought I was going crazy especially because they always told me that I did a great job and also I don't think that I am that socially awkward...
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everytime I talk about myself I'm scared the other person will think I'm bragging/I'm selfish/not interested in what they have to say/turn the conversation into talking about me. I try to fight it, because I know although I would like to talk about myself and be appreciated because I've been lonely and I feel like I need validation I can handle things and NOT talk about myself all the time, and I don't. Something just tells me that I might be talking too much about myself, when in reality logically thinking I am not. Or that I might seem to other people like I am attention seeking, validation seeking, want to be seen etc. What's ironic though, that's exactly how/who I am to some degree. But I can't afford people knowing about this and seeing me as a deranged individual instead of just a normal person. At least I feel like I can't. Ugh, I'm having a bad life period right now and I feel like everything that was supposed to go well is starting to go wrong. And I feel like even though I'm trying I can't do much about things. thank you for reading, I wish you all the best
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I think those are normal feelings. Know you've got a supportive community here for you
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A lot of you will think This is broscience/bs and if you don't want to believe me then fine. But I suffer from social anxiety and I'm about 90 days through both semen retention and nofap, and I'm experiencing a great increase in my confidence and ability to be social. Fapping releases your seed which is full of almost every vital nutrient , as well as the fact one drop of semen is made from 40 drops of blood. You are probably wondering- that's cool but how will that help my social anxiety? Retaining semen will force your brain and body to man up and face your fears, in other words it will reprogram your subconscious from negative/anxious thinking to confident masculine thinking, which allows you to reduce the socially anxious part of your brain. I really encourage that the guys who see this post at least try it. And the rumours of it causing prostate cancer are fake, there is no Evidence to back that up. Before you disregard this post, put some research into it and I guarantee you will find out that this will help tons. Good luck.
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Hahaha I'd never sell my soul like that.
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I was bullied in the past, i don't think too much about it at the time and brushed it off but I know it still affect me to this day because I'm kinda scared of people, i always think that they hate me, and will think i'm boring. I can deal with it because I don't really care about strangers. But I'm stressed because it's now affecting the way I think of my friends. I have a few friends, they're the only one sticking with me even though I'm very awkward, I appreciate it in the past, but nowadays I feel like I'm burdening them (I know they probably dont give any shit but I just can't shake this feelings). They meet each other later than me, but they're already very close, meanwhile I always feel left out. I should probably just disappear but sometimes I think about how they still don't leave me after I ignored them for a year because of mental breakdown, then I go into spiral again... I should just disappear but I don't want to...
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Try to do something that they would enjoy. Like a gathering, or plan a trip to a concert.
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Just curious because I didn't even know what this was until adult hood.nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/pb0sbx)
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I was an adult when I was diagnosed when I was 25. I knew there was ~something~ wrong with me prior to that though. I just didn't know it was a real condition. I didn't realize that other people don't get stomach cramps, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and feel nauseous when they have to do something social with strangers.
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When are you the most anxious?
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Thanks for sharing. Stay strong. You're not alone.
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EDIT: Thank you for all your responses and help, sorry I couldn't respond to too many of them, but I feel less insecure about my interest now that I've managed to open up to you all, I no longer want to quit enjoying LEGO. Thank you all a lot. I also recently talked to my friends about it, it turns out every thing is okay, they don't dislike me after all. n--nI'm 18 years old and I still collect collect LEGO, I feel ashamed of my hobby because most people see LEGO as a kids thing. Another reason is because recently I mentioned it in my group chat and someone was creeped out by it. I feel like I should stop liking LEGO because I know people will think it's weird or creepy, I don't want to lose anymore friends, I want to be completely normal. I don't know what to do, has anybody else felt like this? If so, please share.
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There's nothing weird about having a hobby. Don't let others get in your head. Your interests are exactly that - yours. My aunt has collected LEGO since before I was born and she's in her 60s now. If it makes you happy - stick with it. If someone tries to make you feel low about it, that's on them and it says a lot about their character. Eventually they'll realize that, too. There's nothing wrong with you or your interests.nnI'm almost 28 years old and I guarantee you if I could afford it I'd go buy the millennium falcon LEGO set right this minute. It's a fun and wholesome hobby that nobody should look down on.
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Perhaps you know of a article or similar to the topic
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Everyone's different, I write gratitudes, things I'm grateful I don't do anymore and inventory on the day. Like a review. You can write back to yourself like a loving parent. It's helps filter and then when you need to say how you feel you're connected to the feelings. So rather than explaining what happened it's shorter “When you treated me coldly, I felt sad” etc
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I don't know if this sounds crazy or not, but do you feel weather can influence your state of anxiety?nnFor months I didn't really feel that much anxious, but once bad weather came it's like my anxiety rose, especially when I wake up and it's raining. I don't know if scientifically there is a correlation between anxiety and weather but...maybe I'm just becoming crazy? Thank you
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My anxiety much worse with heat!!!! Ugh it the worst! I guess everyone is different
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So I have crazy thoughts of saying and doing stuff I would never wanna do and when I have them i get overwhelmed for a certain amount of time this happens daily what do I do about it?
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r/ocd
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Hi everybody. I am a 38 year old dude from Texas, and I have suffered for years before I was formally diagnosed in 2014. I was always pretty shy even as a kid, but I did have some moments in my life where I was very vocal and outgoing. In 2007 I quit a job that was just super demanding of me and was promised raise after raise and never got it. So left after working for the company off and on for a duration of about 7 years. At first, I was really not affected that much and didn't notice any change, but at some point, I started isolating myself more and more. I even stopped going out to the movies with my brother, and slowly started pushing away even my closest lifelong friends. It got so bad in the past 5 years that I would ignore all my friends' texts and phone calls until they just got the message and left me alone. nnOver that time I developed the deepest depression I can imagine. I really lived on my computer and the internet. I had no problems being social in online forums and other communities due to not having to deal with face-to-face contact. I was even a huge online gamer into voice chating in my games, but even that I stopped doing as I found it too exhausting. The thought of speaking to even my online friends over anything but chat became too draining. nnFast forward to the past 3 years. My grandmother slowly developed more and more severe dementia until she became bed ridden a year ago last April. We finally lost her in November of 2021 and these past 6 months my mother and aunt who still live in my grandmother's home with me have been struggling to pay the bills. All the money from my grandmother that was left to my aunt has been exhausted and spent exclusively on bills in order for us to keep a roof over our heads. 3 months ago I started donating plasma to get extra money to help. I was really struggling there and getting massive shakes, sweating, flushing red face, you name it all the classic symptoms cranked up to 10. At one point I was about to just walk out of the plasma center while waiting in line as I almost had a full-blown anxiety attack but I thankfully just stood in line and roughed it out. nnI saw online there was this new cannabinoid derived 100% from hemp that was called Delta-8, which was described as a
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Oh yes, life long weed smoker since the age of 13. I actually have tried dro, edibles and even wax in addition to regular flower. That stuff always induced the worst anxiety and paranoia even from an early age. I remember always being the most awkward person in my clique of friends in high school and I never knew why it happened like that especially when high. There are some small differences, like it is slightly less potent and might not last as long, but you can definitely still get just as high from it. It is literally a form of THC after all. I always remember people saying theoretically you could get high off of hemp growing up, but you would have to smoke more than is humanly possible, like kilograms worth. People just used science and extracted the natural Delta-8 out of it and made extraction an exact science. nnThey just infuse flower with the extract to make it just as if you were smoking weed. I am an OG smoker so I prefer the instant hit, but edibles cause a much longer high. Hometown Hero does actually ship out fully free edible gummy samples free shipping. So that is one way to try it. Just don;t consume any regular Delta-9 stuff you already have on hand before trying it. That way you can compare the 2. For me it has been everything I missed about weed in my younger years, without ANY of the adverse effects such as increased anxiety which I already have, plus paranoia weed induces. I had a pretty scary panic attack on hydro once and it was not something I ever wanted to experience again in my life. This is absolutely a game changer for suffers of Social Anxiety. nnThe creators just legally can not say it cures anything and even people that review any Delta-8 products they buy online have to leave out any claims of cures or it treating any ailments. Lest the DEA will come down on them and give a warning. So far it is legal and I hope it remains so. There is absolutely a place for this in the market even in states where weed remains illegal. This is something Texas is really lucky to have but they tried to ban it but a Texas Supreme Court Judge stopped it from getting banned thanks to people lobbying for it. So for now it remains legal, but it could take from 18 months to a year for the state to see it in court. So hopefully the government leaves it alone.
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Or at least it feels that way. Overall I like group chats, if I'm not feeling all that social I can just kind of sit back and read messages. However I have noticed that when chat stops for hour or two, or sometimes several; I'm typically the last one to send a message. It's hard not to take It personal. As far as I Know no one has an issue with me in the group chat , but still…
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I can relate. Some times I use that power just because I can.
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I don't know why, but the moment when I have to enter theater with crowd of people or leave it when lights turn on, it's horrible. It's always this huge wave of people and I'm between them and I try to leave as soon as possible. My mother doesn't understand why, she always tells me no one's looking at me, but I'm still so stressed and anxious, I don't even understand why?
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I got anxiety just from reading your post. Yeah, this so many times. I'm paranoid when I see people sitting nearby or looking into my direction (
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I feel like I annoy people by my presence sometimes. I don't know if it's my anxiety or not so I felt I should ask people who also have social anxiety.
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It's anxiety and I'm right there with you.
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My family thinks I am the longest pooper ever but I am just sitting in the bathroom so I can be alone for a little bit. I will also just randomly disappear and re appear. Sometimes I will go out front or somewhere where people arent around. It sucks being like this.
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Yup, I literally did this today!
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Do any of you avoid going to the gym or going on jogs outside because of social anxiety? If so, how do you get your exercise in?
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I wish it could be completely empty. I don't want anyone looking at me, or at least commenting on something.
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I've always been anxious about eating in public from high school, and I would always give my lunch to friends/acquaintances on the pretext of 'not being hungry', to the point I became severely underweight. Then I started fitting in a bit and figured no one gave a fuck about anyone eating and the anxiety reduced. I still would not eat messy food like burgers, pizzas etc. in public; only easy finger food or just drinks. But the other day I got tangled in a situation where I had to eat a frankie in full public view with 2 acquaintances. I panicked. I cannot explain the hell I went through and the humiliation I faced. It was too much. I hate this.
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You're just like me. I am totally fine with friends. But when I am with friends in a new setting, or at the center table, my anxiety kicks in.
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Hey this is my first post here. I'm struggling a lot with social anxiety to the point where it's making my life hell. I'm an 18 year old girl and have no friends at all and I just feel like I'm wasting my life. I see people my age going out, having fun while I'm just here sitting in my room alone and it's really becoming unbearable for me. These are supposed to be the best years in life and that's how I'm spending them. I feel really depressed because of this. I just wish I had friends and people who care about me, people I can just hang out with and have fun with. But it's just so hard for me to form friendships. Iu2018ve always been really shy and socially awkward. Whenever I'm in a social situation I'm so scared of speaking cause I know that nobody's interested in me anyways. I always think what other people might think about me, that I'm a boring and awkward person. Like im not even able to concentrate on the convo because I'm so busy thinking what others think about me. It's so hard for me to just be myself because I'm scared others won't accept me. Like whenever I try to say something nobody listens to me or even looks at me. I feel like during school was the best time to make friends and I regret not putting enough effort back then. Now because of the pandemic it's just so hard to meet other people my age, let alone with having social anxiety. I just don't know how to fix my situation. I feel so hopeless :( I hope some of you have tips
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18 year old dude here, Honestly this is very relatable. I've felt that i've wasted some of the prime years of my life, all of my friends are online and I know for sure I could probably be super popular if it wasn't my social anxiety messing everything up. Now I feel I have no way to even meet people going down the line.
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As I follow this sub I see a lot of posts that are super relatable but also a lot of posts I don't relate to. I figured this is normal since everyone's social anxiety is different and affects them in different areas of life. Where does your anxiety affect you the most? Where do you not have any anxiety?nnnWhere I don't have anxiety-nJob hunting, job interviews, talking to co-workers, going out to public spaces, going to bars, meeting up for scheduled social events.nnnWhere I have anxiety-nApproaching new people, going out alone to meet people, starting a conversation with strangers, creating friendships and relationships, approaching women, texting someone to start a conversation with the intention of asking to hang out. Essentially, my social anxiety is most present in my social life, which makes it difficult for me to build relationships and date.
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Just going shopping. I feel like everyone's staring at me. And when I look up, they usually are.
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Has anyone else here spent time in the psych ward at the hospital? I did twice both times for over a week when I was suffering from severe anxiety and depression. Here if anyone wants to talk
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What happened?
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I'm not strong enough to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I'm going to live an empty life unable to socialize or express myself so why should I bother waking up in the morning.
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I would say focus on yourself and just be by yourself for a while. Try and discover any hobbies or activities you like, things you might be passionate about, and connect with nature. I don't realise how much I need to be in nature until I'm in a park, literally breathing in the life around me, and it really helps my anxiety and depression. Maybe try journalling or voice notes too so you can express the negative emotions you're feeling. I would also recommend not drinking alcohol because that definitely worsens my mental health, and I've done actually attempted suicide while drinking heavily. I know I wouldn't have actually gone through with it if I wasn't drunk. Still wanted to and still want to, to this day, but I manage to stop myself because I'm sober. Hope you feel better xxxxx
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I can't even use zoom unless if I turn off the speaker and the camera! I can't phone anyone other than my dad. When others ask me to hangout I always reject them because my social anxiety is too bad. It got so bad that I ended up homeschooling myself.nI am planning to go to fashion school when the pandemic ends but it requires me to be interviewed by the headmaster and I don't want to be mistaken as a non-English speaker (That happened once due to my social anxiety)! Help! What should I do?
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U should accept the invitations to go out, only for an hour or two. Tell then you will join for an hour, and try push it to two hours.nMaybe this will start to ease the anxiety.nLet me know
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My initial thought would be no/ not if it's worse than mine because someone without it can keep me in reality and stop me from overthinking. But now i've been thinking about how there's people who straight up don't understand social anxiety. Like I'm not sure if I would be emotionally validated by someone who has never experienced social anxiety. One thing about my social anxiety is that i feel like most people don't want to “deal” with it. What's y'all's opinions?nnEdit: Y'all make good points. I really can't see myself being with someone who hasn't experienced social anxiety at all. Thank you to every one who commented :)
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This question comes up pretty often.nnPersonally I would prefer a partner with some level of SA (ideally not extreme), because we would probably have similar like/dislikes regarding social interactions.nnNot a requirement by any mean, but I think I would feel more at ease with that kind of person.
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Context: I have had debilitating social anxiety for about ten years. It's gotten to the point where interacting with people leads to suicidal thoughts, like, half the time. I thought, fuck it, and put myself in the psych ward for a few weeks. I've not yet gotten much treatment, they're still figuring out if I've got depression or bipolar, further treatment will depend on that. I've been here for a week. nnOne of the nurses comes into my room. It's late, I am about to go to sleep. My neighbor is already sleeping. (I will mention here that I actually talk to her all the time, because we have a lot in common.) The nurse turns on the lights, wakes up my neighbor (???), and proceeds to (very kindly) grill me as to why I am So Damn Quiet. nnAlright. I have already explained to three separate doctors here that I have depression, that I am afraid of talking to strangers to the point of it making me want to die, and that over the past ten years, I have unlearned social conduct almost entirely. Hell, I've never even learned some things properly. I'm here exactly to work on this. This doesn't go away in a week. Jesus. nnAt this point I'm just sitting there, staring at her like a deer in headlights.
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Telling an introvert or someone with social anxiety to speak up is as rude as telling an extrovert to shut up.nn​nnI remember going to a sports festival one time and the people in my group asked
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I'm such a fucking coward I just can't do this shit anymore. I'm far gone I can't keep living Like this. Id rather be dead it's fucking torture man nI just can't do it. It feels physically impossible what the fucknI'm thinking of drinking this Windex bottle right about now the guilt is too much. I let down my family and my mental health down
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Don't know if it's how you feel, but it's like an overload of awareness, like in cosmic horror, Its being just so utterly aware of the world, and people and knowing they are watching you and they are judging you. Whether it matters or not, it still is a scary thought.
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I was at work yesterday just doing my usual thing when a girl walks up to me and says
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Hey, how you doin'? u00a0( u0361u00b0 u035cu0296 u0361u00b0)
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