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Sometimes I'm happy and then out of nowhere I get a bunch of bad thoughts and then my mood is just fucked up for the rest of the day I feel like that drugs is the only answer for this and for some reason when I'm at school I just feel anxious for the whole day it's like I'm almost never ever chill even when I'm talking to a friend I'm just constantly wondering if the friend that I'm talking to even likes me at all and the easiest way that I deal with this is just getting high. Whenever I'm intoxicated on something I am more social and I make people laugh and I don't feel so anxious. I'm 13 I like playing video games and watching YouTube and skating I have a few friend and some girls like me. What do u guys think.
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Thanks man
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Hi, anybody here have an entry-level job that they are comfortable with despite their social anxiety? My social anxiety makes talking on the phone unbearable, and of course I'd prefer as little interaction with other people as possible, with as much distance between any people as possible. I really don't care how menial the job is, I just don't want to keep working a job where I feel constantly filled with anxiety. Thanks!
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The vast majority of jobs will have some kind of interaction though? I mean at that point you shouldn't be looking for a job.
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Just found out that recent (https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=social+anxiety+serotonin&sxsrf=ALeKk00dYBbjitACUQLy6yuD9W7YRv1cJw%3A1618311015965&ei=Z3d1YNyRNc-V8gLPk4iABQ&oq=social+anxiety+serotonin&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAMyBAgjECcyBAgjECcyBggAEBYQHjIGCAAQFhAeMgYIABAWEB4yBggAEBYQHjoECAAQQzoLCC4QsQMQxwEQowI6CAgAELEDEIMBOgIIADoICC4QsQMQgwE6CggAEIcCELEDEBQ6BQgAELEDOgcIABCHAhAUOgUIABDJA1DE7hdY6pQYYJWXGGgAcAJ4AIABdYgB7g-SAQQyMS40mAEAoAEBqgEHZ3dzLXdpesABAQ&sclient=gws-wiz&ved=0ahUKEwic4fKphvvvAhXPilwKHc8JAlAQ4dUDCA4&uact=5) (2015) shows social anxiety has a definite link to too much serotonin in the brain (google it). The amygdala is firing off like crazy.nn
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Yes alcohol temporarily masks the problem. Therapy is a lot more than just telling someone to not be anxious too though. You're actually right so I don't know why I'm trying to argue. Yes alcohol changes the brain chemistry to make you feel better but it's much better to rewire your brain so you don't need to get pissed all day every day to talk to people
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I think that being sexual abuse as a child has had a large part in my social anxiety and various mental issues. At the age of 25 I've shied away from relations,sex,and platonic bonds most my life. Yes, I've had friends but that was long ago. I have no one. I've lost interest in people beyond a surface level. I have no desire to connect with anyone beyond what is trivial. Basically I just preserve my energy and I give out just enough nothing less nothing more. I find that in giving too much my energy is depleted and I act in a way that is unreal to me. Being too nice or too friendly for example. Being distant has also kept me in the loop with multiple opportunities and furthering my skills. As a person I have much to look forward to.
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Sounds cool idk yet. When I was 8 I went to Dominican Republic with my mom and brother to visit her mom when she lived there. I remember going to the beach, seeing a whale, having my hair braided which hurt a lot lol, and some kid chasing me down the street
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Part of the reason I decided to start actively participating (not just lurking) on reddit was because I felt it might help my conversational abilities and maybe even provide some mild validation. So far, I think it's been helping. How has reddit helped or hindered you?
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This sub has helped me in times where my SA overtook my brain, as I posted about my biggest problem at the time which made me struggle emotionnaly.nnWritting here has helped me organize my thoughts by venting out. I also received very useful advice from great people.nn(This is a new alt accout I created recently as one of my friends who knew my other username found my account and read my posts. So now I'm using something I've never used before and deleted my posts on SA on my main)
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How to stop being so fearful and scared?nnnToday I go to a driving school and I have very less clothes so I wear an oversized collar-shirt and pants. They are very oversized because I am only 151cm tall and very skinny.nnIn class and outside, I get very scared and even move half-doubting my movement. I can't move smoothly and whenever others answer Q&A, I did not even have the guts to speak out. My voice is also quite weird, being quite
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Thanks bro
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Whenever I post a story I feel cringey and think
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Not at all, I've been posting a lot of my runs and a couple old friends even told me I was inspiring and it literally made my life haha
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So I was thinking about everything that is mentally fucking me up at the moment/ has been for my whole life, and this is what I came up with so far after about an hour of introspective research. Do any of you guys have the same sort of feelings? And if so is there any advice you could give me? nThank you.nnHere's the list:nnI have never felt joynnI'm uncomfortable with feelings of affectionnnI have never had a connection with anyone (not even close)nnno one understands me (u201c u201c u201c)nnI can't tell whether I'm mentally ill or if I'm just dramaticnnI have never felt confidentnnI don't get rewarding feelingsnnI have never been good at anythingnnI've never won anything in my lifennI'm not naturally good at anythingnnMy thoughts work against mennI have never felt comfortable in my bodynnI have never felt manlynnI often feel like a failurennI'm constantly overthinkingnnI often just feel numb to thingsnnI have never been motivatednnConstantly paranoid of what people I care about think about mennI have episodes in which I think no one likes mennI feel like I have lost my true selfu00a0nnI often feel like a burden
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Hi, I can totally understand what you are going through and how difficult it must be. A lot of us face similar kinds of situations some time or the other in our lives, the difference could be the duration for how long that feeling stays. Sometimes our negative thoughts overpower us and we are not able to focus on the good in our lives. It gets very difficult, and takes up a lot of our energy. There might be a lot of hidden feelings because of which you have been feeling like this, and you might not be aware of it. We should never ever self-diagnose ourselves for any kind of mental disorders, the best way to deal with this is to seek professional support. A therapist or a counsellor can help you navigate through life changes, reduce emotional suffering and experience self-growth. I would say this again, please do not self-diagnose and try seeking help if you can. Some of the things that you mentioned are part of negative thinking and that can be tackled with some of these tools:r nPractice gratitude: Noticing the things that are going well and making you feel happy will keep you in touch with them. Keeping a gratitude journal and writing a few things in it every day is one easy and effective way to do this.r nFocus on your strength: The more you can practice focusing on your strengths and not dwelling on mistakes you've made, the easier it will be to feel positive about yourself and the direction your life is taking.r nChallenge your negative thoughts with evidence based thinking. Ask yourself if you are assuming the worst will happen or blaming yourself for something that has not gone the way you wanted. And then think about other possible outcomes or reasons that something turned out differently than you hoped.r nI hope this helps you in some way.
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Idk if its my GAD and depression or if my job is hard but it's simply not worth it. It is doable but I simply can't control my stress. I sit there looking at the screen everyday and I'd rather be dead than do this. nnShould I quit or get treated for anxiety and depressionnnnIt's too much for me tbh, seems like my peers are doing well. I used to be this smart kid who enjoys work and studynnIdk what's happened to me
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I am right there with you. I literally just put in my notice at work today.
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I've been investigating for a long time about social anxiety and every time I watch a video explaining it I feel like it's describing me, so I just found out that I have social anxiety. Now I'm curious about how does one become like this, why am I like this and my sister isn't, for example?
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This is a good question. I have a child and am trying not to push my social anxiety on him. We go to group events constantly, so in the process of helping him socialize I'm forcing myself to as well. I still worry it won't work.
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Sometimes even parents cannot understand But They Will Always HelpnnI know that but I have NEVER told them. They think I am just shy. Sometimes they tell me to MAN UP and not to be shy.nn​nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/wkg9st)
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Good luck if you decide to tell them. Prepare notes for yourself if you're afraid you might forget to tell them something.
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I feel like when I look down and avoid eye contact with someone at work in a small way im being disempowered on a subconscious level.nnI remember feeling bad when someone avoided eye contact with me before - I guess im not great at putting myself in other peoples shoes as i don't always act to others how i would like them to act to me. Same when im at the printer or filing things etc i don't look around when i hear people going by - i just keep a low profile.nnI feel like i should try to make an effort to make eye contact and smile especially when walking directly past someone - if they don't smile back so be it - at least im taking a more confident approach by making eye contact.
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I can and can't related to this. I don't personally like making eye contact with anymore. But, if there are people walking around and I hear them walking, I will usually go on alert but that is just me.
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Edit:Guys, my bad it looks like a lot of your life got better after high school(I'm glad) n It looks I was the only one who went through hell in college. I was under the assumption some of you may have gone through similar instance
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Well considering I charged my classmate with harassment a few months ago... yeah college sucks
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hini'm 17 and i just quit my first job after only 2 shifts. it's only a small saturday job but it still feels shit. nmy last shift, i had a panic attack that lasted for 2 hours while i was working on the tills and now i just can't go back. i tried to explain to my boss but now she's just treating me like i'm a child, it's so infuriating. ni know it's not that big of a deal because it was only a small job but it feels like if i can't even do this then i can't do anything. i thought i was getting better.
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What I'd suggest you do is, while you're young and you still have time before life really starts to kick in, go try and get yourself a therapist or any sort of support. If you've already been to a therapist, see another one.nnThis is something you're going to have to learn to manage and I believe you can get over it. nnYou're only 17, start work on the dealing with this now, don't end up like many people I know who put it off until their 20's and 30's. nnGood luck to you. Maybe working on the tills right in front of many people was too much too soon.
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wen i buy alcohol or weed i always shake just cuz my anxiety and they always think im using a fake id cuz y wuld i be shaking if im doing nothing wrong.... so i always have to get wasted and have my friend drive me , same with my mom who has shcizofrenia always suspicious of me and thinks im doing something to hurt her ik if i act nervous she will think im lying but tryin to not act nervous makes me nervous and they always say y u acting nervous if ur innocent but im just a nervous person it sucks
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When I pass by police in the street I get very nervous. Then I think about how that makes me seem more suspicious, which makes me more nervous, and even more suspicious.nn
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my life has never felt so meaningless. i am unemployed, not studying and every single day is the same. i never leave the house and i have no responsibilities besides paying my phone bill.. i do literally nothing all day every day spending most of my time in bed. i got so used to living like this that it feels impossible to get out of. i have no motivation to be alive right now. theres clearly a solution to this problem like gradually building a routine to bring structure back into my day but i feel like i just can't do it. every day i feel tired and have no energy. i have no motivation to do anything at all. ive tried and failed over and over to do one thing productive with my time. it feels impossible. ive been stuck like this for so long it really feels physically and mentally impossible to escape from this lifestyle. i'm more depressed than ever and i feel like the biggest failure on the earth. i hate living like this but for some unknown reason i cant get myself out of it. i don't know what to do or how to help myself
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I had the same thing with my mum, but I had a good friend I talked to about it and he helped me out. Have you thought about joining a gym that's a good place to start building momentum and you can also meet people there too. I hope you find your way, because the alternative is not that nice, it can lead to some pretty dark places and choices, take care of yourself. Even go to the library and get a book or two. Good luck
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I am 28 years old and I dated one girl for a month and she asked me out.nn​nnI went out for a date with another girl and she said
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honestly dont even worry about it... losing your virginity isnt even THAT big a deal... its being in a relationship thats I find important at the end of the day.
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I was having a nice day at my job that I like as a cashier at a department store and there's a rewards program and if the customer doesn't have it on them then you have to ask for their phone number so they get their points. And they didn't tell me anything throughout the whole transaction, the woman and the guy with her were chatting and they had a service dog for no apparent reason, not to mention that they had a shit load of items. nnSo I picked up a shirt to scan it, but there was no tag. I let her know that and her eyebrow shoots up and she frowns at me like it's my fucking fault she didn't just check it before she went up there. I feel a little uneasy at this point, but I was able to keep my cool. Then at the end I assumed they didn't have anything to give me, like their number for their rewards card, and so I clicked to the next part where I was unable to hit the button to enter her number.nnHer:
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Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! That person is just a failure at...humanity. What on earth did she gain by treating you that way? I also have trouble letting go of shitting episodes--like it's a puzzle I have to figure out before moving on. I hope you feel better soon and winds of kindness blow your way.
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Why am I like this? Why does being ratio'd feel so bad?
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Maybe then it could serve as a fielding tool for gauging whether or not something would get a nice reception or not?
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I don't know how to respond when I tell someone how I feel + why, and they respond with how they feel, how it's similar, and why. I've never actually understood why people do that. I don't see the empathy in it and I'm sorry, but I've never known anything else.
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That's fair. I mean if I really relate to their circumstances and I know them well, I do offer up some suggestions of what could help. For example if it's a work colleague and they are stressed about work (when we both have similar duties). But honestly, I see how it can be hard to respond. So I'm probably not being very helpful.
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Posting in case someone else it but doesn't realize/ needs to hear itnnBeing introverted vs extroverted is basically just where you get your energy from: being alone or being with others.nnI definitely get my energy by being with others, but I still have social anxiety, which means I basically get my energy by spending time with close friends. I am not one of those sort of extroverts that goes out and meets randoms and tries to be the center of attention. I struggle to strike up a conversation with anyone I don't know.
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that sounds tough man, can I ask what's goin on inside your mind when meeting strangers?
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I have very much enjoyed not having in-person social obligations this past year. Socializing by text and video chat is far preferable to me, and even I get more out of it than in person interactions. nnNow that vaccines are readily available in my area, socialization is beginning again and I am getting increasing pressure to attend gatherings and events with larger and larger groups.nnFor a while I used the excuse that I was not fully vaccinated, so I didn't want to attend group gatherings. That excuse was easily accepted by everyone and even came off as me being responsible.nnHowever, now that I and many people I know are fully vaccinated, it is difficult to know how to navigate the return to u2018normal'. I feel in some ways that this past year has taught me that I never really enjoyed the u2018normal' activities to begin with u2014 always having to mask and constantly curate my every word and bodily motion for hours on end. nnThe idea of going to such gatherings again is bringing an intense level of anxiety, not due to the virus, but due to my requirement to put that invisible mask back on again (I prefer the surgical onesu2026). Now that I have had time with it off for a while, the idea of forcing it back on seems like torture. nnThere is this feeling I think amongst the neurotypicals that attending these gatherings is almost a right of passage into the new world, and a reluctance to do so is seen as even more strange than declining invitations in the pre-pandemic world. Like saying u2018no' is a direct attack on their character. nnNot sure what to do about all of this, just wanting to vent I suppose. Preparing myself for the inevitable social errors I will make that reinforce everyone's idea that I am just an awkward creep who doesn't do well with social situations.
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I agree, except now the normal world is changing back and is even less understanding of why someone would not want to be social after this past year. They have felt trapped in lockdown, I (we?) have felt free
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Just had an embarrassing cringy moment. At my job the power went out so a bunch of baggers and cashiers were talking and wanted me to hang out with them. They were really nice and funny but I was struggling to talk if you know what I mean. The manager told me I can go home since I'm new and didn't really have a schedule and I wanted to be funny and was like u201csucks to be you guysu201d in a joking way. They smiled but after I got to my car I realized that it might have sounded like a rude thing to say and might have even pissed them off. I can't stop thinking about how rude I might have come off.
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You're overthinking again.
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I need to see a doctor or somebody about my depression and anxiety, but I don't know what to tell my mom. I think she kind of knows I'm depressed but idk. I have a good relationship with my mom but I just simply don't know what to say. I cried about 4 times today and everyday my depression is getting worse. I'm depressed because my life is boring and it comes from my anxiety and I don't have anybody to talk to. I feel dead inside
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I was in the same situation. I also have a good relationship with my mom but I set boundaries and keep some things private. Mainly because I don't want her to worry. Same goes for friends. Not everyone has to know your business. And I know it feels shitty to keep it all to yourself, knowing you're not be able to share your pain with others but some people won't be able to handle it or respond to it well, unless they've been through it themselves.nnCall your health insurance and ask them to refer you to a couple different therapists. You can try one out and see how you like working with them. Don't feel discouraged if you two don't click. Move onto someone else that you feel more comfortable with. You'll learn so much about yourself. This is the best form of self-care you can do for yourself.
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I don't have much experience in going out on a night out as it never really appealed to me but recently I've got the urge to go out and try it. I've been on a few quieter nights out just to get the taste for it and they haven't really been up to much, just had a few drinks in a few bars. So when a friend invited me to go out on Saturday night I thought I would experience a proper night out. n nI've only know this friend for a year or so and only met up a few times but stayed in contact a lot via facebook. He was also brining one of his friends so that got me a bit anxious to start with. Anyway I got there, heart beating fast, we got our drinks and sat down. The music was really loud and I couldn't hear what they were saying half the time so I couldn't really join in with the conversation much unless they directly asked me a question. n nA couple drinks later, my friend could tell I wasn't enjoying it and he was right. I was struggling to see the appeal of it all. I just feel like my brain puts up big barriers when I'm in situations like this and I can't get past them. And even though I had 3/4 drinks I still felt the same, not much calmer or relaxed. n nSo I decided I had to leave, they tried to persuade me to stay for one more drink but I failed to see how it would make it any better. So I said goodbye and left. And as soon as I started walking away I started getting really emotional, I was on the verge of tears. And when I got in I let it all out, crying all over the place. And I couldn't really explain it. Was it all too much for me? Was I disappointed that I didn't enjoy it when 95% of does enjoy it? I just don't know. n nOne of the main motivations for me wanting to go out was to possibly find a boyfriend but I can't see me even able to strike up a conversation with an stranger never mind find a lover. Guess I'll just have to stick to tinder. n nJust seeing if anyone has been in a smiler situation or has some advice. n nThanks
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Thanks! I don't regret going, just glad I know what it's like now. And yeah I was thinking about that on the way down there, about finding a guy who likes clubbing, I need someone who's more on my wavelength and likes something a bit less wild.
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nI'm a 19 year old boy. I'm at uni now. Looking back at high school, I never was close friends with “popular” people. I never went out on fridays or saturdays(maybe twice in an entire school year). I always stayed home to play video games almost every Friday. It wasn't even because I didn't like partying and stuff but I never even gave it a chance as I always prefered staying at the comfort of my home. I also had social anxiety and was especially afraid of interacting with “popular” people. I was probably one out of 4,5 least social people in a class of around 200 peoplennNow that I'm 3,4 years older though, I regret this terribly. I have truly figured my real self in the sense that I virtually don't care about what anyone thinks of me anymore which basically diminished my social anxiety. I realized how much I love partying and socializing and I hate it so much that I never did it in high school. Not only do I feel missed out on so many good memories I could have had but also I feel I missed out on so many girls I could have had. Not to be arrogant but I was also quite good looking so I see staying at home a waste also in the sense that I'm not making use of my good looks.
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You're barely even an adult. Learn from that period in your life and focus your energies on creating the future you want. Don't waste more time dwelling on a past you cannot change. You shouldn't regret the way you spent those years - it was all due to real struggles you had at the time.
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So sick of not being able to handle the simplest shit.
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Hey, i completely understand and relate to your frustration :(nnProgress can be a slow process and we are always bound to run into challenges. The key for to improving is to acknowledge the situation, accept you're feelings, and then practice self compassion. For example, if I were to make a comment that I deemed awkward in front of a group of people and thus gave me anxiety I'd follow this process;nn-acknowledge the context of what happened and that it has triggered negative thoughts in me n-accept I'm feeling anxiety, shame, and possible guilt (and try not to judge myself for feeling that way)n-tell myself it's okay to feel those things abd that I still love and accept myself for who I amnnHope things get better
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Hi, I'm a i got 18 years old not along ago but I'm still i'm terrified of asking my mom something, most of the time i know she'll be okay with it but when it comes time to ask i start to stress. nI don't why and it pisses me off.n nDo someone had this too ?nOr someone got soluce to help me ?
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Well tell yourself internally that you deserve to go out though, because you're young and it's much better than spending time online on social media
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I play table tennis very fanatically. Every monday there's a tournament. I sweat a lot. Yesterday someone I've had brief encounters with came up to me and my mate and asked if I took a shower. I replied that it's sweat. He's like
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Could be, who knows.
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Edit: OKAY holy crap, huge influx of people from bestof convinced me. I think I'll create a subreddit to facilitate this idea, but not reveal who I am. I'll use this account to moderate it but I'll participate as another account. n nnI'm thinking of having call requests / call appointments as links, and then I can either assign someone to call someone at that time (volunteers can PM me and I'll have a list) or people can volunteer. n nnThen, if the call is completed, I'll get both participants to confirm, and I'll mark it as such, at which point the world should give an outpouring of karma as a reward. nnAnyway, when I get time, I'll get rolling. niiiin-----nnnSomething I've been thinking about for awhile. I hate talking on the phone. When my phone rings, I panic. In fact, when I think that my phone MIGHT be ringing, I panic. When I know that I have to make a phone call on Friday, it ruins my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. This is bad, because my job requires me to be fairly decent on the phone (writer). I'm not so bad in person, but on the phone, I fall apart. I just end up getting all fight or flighty and wanting to do whatever I can to get off the phone as soon as possible. This sucks when I'm ordering pizza because I end up mumbling or rushing through things and then not getting the sweet delicious cheese sticks I've been feening for all week or something like that.nnSo, basically, we'd just get together and exchange phone numbers. And just have a standing appointment to call someone new once a week or or once a month or whatever. We could have talking points to help get things rolling or we can try to just shoot the shit for a set amount of time and see what happens. And if we sound like jackasses, then who cares, right? nnI know that some people have truly crippling social phobias that need to be treated more professionally, but if you are like me and think that you just need to face your fears in a controlled environment, let me know if you're interested.nnEdit: Thanks for your responses everyone. Looks like there is mild interest, and probably enough to at least try the idea out. Will try to put together a sign-up spreadsheet or something in the next few days. And let me know if you have more thoughts re: logistics. There was a suggestion for Google Talk/Skype, but my gut says that a phone would be better, just for authenticity's sake (unless you often make business/personal/other calls from Skype/Gtalk). I know it'll cost more, but I'm personally not concerned about that. Maybe add this as an option on the phone tree, e.g.
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I'm in.
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And what do you think can fix it? If you know...
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I feel ya on the
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together they r
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you didn't lose anything cause we're not arguing we are talking.
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I dont feel like it. I dont want to say hi. I dont want to say bye. People drain me. The only thing that helps is weed. Maybe weed is worsening it when im sober.
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Same
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I've never used reddit before but I feel like I have no one to talk to right now. Since lockdown none of my friends have made any effort to talk to me and when I reach out to them the conversations are generally one sided and don't last long. I was ok until now because I had one friend who would talk to me and who I considered my best friend. But a couple days ago one of our conversations turned sour and they started questioning me about my feelings for them. We were actually in a relationship for a while but after struggling with my depression and anxiety I had to break up with them because I found I couldn't love them the way they wanted me to and I wanted us to just remain friends. The whole break up was really messy because all our other friends sort of sided with them because I struggled to communicate with our friends my side of the story as quick as she did. I didn't even see it as a
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Here if you wanna DM you are NOT ALONE!
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Some days I'm super anxious and slip on every conversation, and some days I'm feeling pretty confident in myself and chill and actually semi sociable. There doesn't seem to be any pattern with it; it's seemingly random. There are days in the middle too, but are, as expected, less notable.
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Yes I can usually tell right when i get up in the morning what kind of day it's gonna be. It's weird and idk what causes it.
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I'm 22 (M). I really want to go to gym to care of my body and my mental health but I'm too scared. I'm worried about regular gym goers looking at me. I think I'll get myself into awkward situations where I'd do something wrong and what others are gonna think. And I don't really know about any workout methods to begin with so I'll have to ask the trainers about everything which makes me more anxious. Any advice for me?
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That's funny because I have a gym membership but on Monday for some reason everyone was looking at me. So I haven't been back at all this week. I am diagnosed with delusional disorder as well.
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I'm a 17 year old girl, and my psychiatrist said I have SA. I think it's more of a general anxiety disorder mixed with extreme introversion and I guess slight agoraphobia. I get panic attacks in large crowds, like tourist areas and concerts. There's nothing psychological about it, it's just physical. I don't think they're going to attack me or I can't escape or anything like that. It just overwhelms me. On a similar vein, I had a panic attack yesterday while shopping. The Macy's was so packed full of stuff and colorful and everything. Shit's overwhelming.nnI also get panic attacks when playing soccer, and I've actually kind of dissected that one because I've had to describe it to so many people. I'm not a very athletic person, I never have been. I played soccer in 10th and 11th grade just because I wanted to make myself exercise. I go to a very athletic school, and I always felt very pushed in practice. In drills like sprints and endurance running, I would reach my maximum capability and the drill would keep going. I wasn't in shape enough to continue running, but social pressures kept me running anyway - I didn't want to be that girl. I felt like I had no control and I would start to panic. I'm positive that what I was having was panic attacks - heart palpitations, nausea, tearfulness, hot flashes, visibly shaky, and just general panic. My practices were 2 hours every day, and it got to the point where I was having daily panic attacks. I've since quit soccer.nnSo there were social pressures involved in the soccer situation, but I feel that the social pressures just kept me going until I felt a loss of control, which then triggered the panic attacks. In social situations, I can get pretty awkward, and it becomes a downward spiral of awkwardness, but I feel that it's not quite social anxiety. With my close friends, I'm loud and annoying - a normal teenage girl. With acquaintances, I'm friendly and open. With strangers, I completely shut down. I can't think of anything to say. I generally don't actually feel anxious, just awkward. The reason I don't think it's social anxiety is that the second I open up, I'm totally fine. If I find I have something in common with them, I can open up with that, and then move on to more conversation. Or if I have a beer, it rids me of my awkwardness and I'm totally fine, even after it wears off. I can also sometimes get over my awkwardness if I can convince myself in my head that I'm better than them somehow. I know it sounds weird and awful, but it really helps me. I'll just convince myself I'm prettier than that girl, or out of his league, or smarter than them, whatever. I don't actually think all these things, it just makes it easier for me. Maybe this part it social anxiety, I don't know. I just think there's more to it than that.nnMost of my stress comes from homework. I have really bad ADHD, and I'm super disorganized. I'm fairly intelligent, and sometimes hard working, but I'm also really lazy. As a senior in a private high school taking 3 APs, I have so much shit to do. I really shouldn't be writing this right now, but I just took my Adderall so now I'm focused on it. I'm not the type of person who can work for 4 hours straight, and then relax. I need to take breaks. Unfortunately, then I get distracted. That's a different issue though. But what ends up happening is that I don't have enough time for all of my homework. So then I get stressed out and can't do anything. I've also been getting worked up by my bad performance in my BC calculus class. That might be a self-confidence issue though. I don't even know what point I'm trying to make anymore. I'm kind of just typing. It's pretty therapeutic though.nnIn terms of medication, I'm already taking Effexor and Adderall to treat my depression and ADHD. Apparently some anti-depressants work for anxiety, but the Effexor isn't doing much. Or it is, and I just have worse anxiety than I thought. I don't know. I'm a medication kind of person, which is bad, I know. But I really need to fix this anxiety shit because I can't be having panic attacks every time I have a calc test. The first thing I tried for my anxiety was Buspirone, because it works for my mom, but it was pretty counteractive for me. It was awful. So now he's trying to give me Xanax (as needed), and I don't know how to feel about it. Since I've quit soccer, most of my panic attacks happen at school, and I can't afford to lose any time in school. I don't know how Xanax will affect me, so I was hoping to try it out on a day when I don't have school, but am still stressed out. That will probably happen today. Does anyone have any experience with all of this?nnSorry this is so long. I just took my Adderall so I'm hyperfocused on this and now I need to tell you all my life story. I figured you all would have some experience with these issues, maybe some input on my situation. The stress is really taking a toll on my health (daily headaches and trouble eating) and my grades. I'd really like to find some kind of solution for it.nnTL;DR - teenage girl diagnosed with SA, I'm not sure if it's that or something else. I get panic attacks in crowds and when playing soccer (due to loss of control). I'm shy and awkward in social situations, but can get over it pretty easily. Homework stresses me the fuck out. Anxiety is fucking up my body. I've been prescribed Xanax as needed and have yet to try it. Thoughts/opinions/experiences?
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I'm sure it's different for every person, but I wanted to try my best not to have to rely on meds or anything and just worked really hard in therapy. I did about 12 weeks of sessions where I met once a week and usually had a bunch of
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I haven't visited this sub in a while, but a certain guy named /u/ZFree2013 always used to do this and I thought maybe some of you might be interested in a revival.nnAnyway, my week was okay I guess. I didn't speak to anyone except my family, but on the other hand the Steam Summer Sale started yesterday so that's nice. Is anyone else studying for their exams?
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I've had some pretty intense gastro, and as painful/tiring as it has been - it's also been a nice break from constantly tackling my 'issues'. I've sat on my ass for days watching space jam and the sopranos, something totally out of character for me, who is obsessed with 'getting better' pretty much all of the time.nnI think this was a good lesson for me in finding the right balance between effort and relaxation. All things in moderation 8-)
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And when did it start and how did it affect you?
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Horrible traumatic experiences
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I'm a known crier, I cry when I'm overwhelmed, stressed, sad, embarrassed, scared. I cry an average of once a day; some days more some days not at all. Oh, and crying is something I cannot control. Well, I mean I can cry on command whenever (I think that's a depression curse) but I can never hold in tears, they always flow when they want so I have no control over that. (Trust me I've tried my whole life)nnBut I can't figure out why I cry when I'm seemingly u2018bored' or at least when I'm unoccupied. I can't pinpoint why.nn I mean, i thought it could maybe be because I'm not currently employed, not attending college (actually a drop out), so I feel this sense of u201cI have to be doing something productive because it's what I would be doing if I was talking the path most traveled (college)u201d. Though I don't enjoy comparing myself to others because I usually never take the path others take because it doesn't work for me. nnAnyways, what are some questions I could ask myself that could help clear this up for me? I sound so stupid for asking this, but I really haven't been able to figure it out on my own.nnAnd yes I have a therapist, it's just I haven't gone since the pandemic because in-person therapy was stopped a year ago.
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I am, but haven't had a med change in over a year. I take Adderall daily, for ADHD, and Propranolol as needed for anxiety (beta blocker, prevents panic attacks basically), which I haven't been taking lately cuz I kinda forget lol.
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I know this sounds horrible but I feel like it's easier to talk to people who you feel are
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Socialising with people I recognise social anxiety in is much easier for sure.nnI think I get just as anxious talking to people I don't want to though. It gets uncomfortable and it shows, and then I feel guilty.
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As crazy as it sounds, I really feel that sometimes. Especially when I catch someone actually staring at me.
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I'm not joking, but I'm convinced there is something electronic that is being used to read my thought waves. I kid you not, this has been being used against me for 2 1/2 years. I was part of a clinical trial 16 years ago, and I don't know what happened, but something that shouldn't have happened, did.nnI was experienced distressing episodes where, for example, a driver in a bus knew EXACTLY what I was thinking, to the point that what he said, appeared to be a direct response to my thought. I swear I'm not a nutjob. I did not verbalize my thought. nnHow did he know? His response appeared to understand the context of my thought, and apparently, he was offering up the reality of the situation.nnI cannot hold my silence any longer. I do not know what this tech is, but I DID NOT CONSENT TO THE TRIAL AS I WAS A MINOR AND WAS INCAPABLE OF GIVING CONSENT. I've been gaslighted for 2 1/2 years by community with no remorse, and it has been gradually escalating.nnI'm not saying this to frighten you, but literal thoughts are being inserted into my head, and I'm undergoing surveillance to the point of being in a conservatorship. It feels worse than being on Death Row, psychologically speaking. I wouldn't wish this kind of surveillance and thought reading on my worst enemy. People deserve privacy.nnI have nobody to turn to, no psychiatrist will believe me, no family member, no friend will believe me, I'm sure you do not either. I'm isolated and screwed. At the rate I'm being abused, I give myself 4 years max. TO LIVE.nnI don't even intend to take any action at this point. Everybody's silent and dismissive. If it is silicon of the nano variety IN MY BRAIN, then I'm pretty much dead. I just want to understand the nature of the technology being used, and know if I can reclaim my control over it. Because I'm not in control of it, and it is being used to sap my life out by community at large. nnI straight up asked a man who did it to me once, and he responded,
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I haven't been keeping up with politics so I didn't know about voting for the Texas Governor starting tomorrow morning. I'm super anxious to go but I know I should since I'll 100% regret it if I don't. nnI have no idea what to expect when I walk in. I know I need my ID, but what should i mentally prepare myself for? Last time was the presidential election and I was with my parents but I can't remember much. I was so socially anxious it took all of my energy to ask one of the people there a question for help. I'm very nervous and I have no one to go with since I don't know if my parents are going to vote tomorrow. Pls help :(
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thank you! this helped a lot!
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What do you do for “fun” (not work, school etc) when you leave the house that's worth combatting the social anxiety for?
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Exactly what I'm dealing with pretty much. Looking for ways to just get out there and expose myself no matter how small it may seem. Glad to hear it helped you and I'm sure it can help others we just gotta do it and fight through it. Overtime it'll just get easier but gotta start somewhere.
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i have a lot of things to vent about on here but this is kind of a big issue i have. i was just out at the mall with my mom and saw the two or three of the “popular athletes” from my school.nni know it's not that big of a deal but it's always hurt me on the inside to see people my age out and about with friends. meanwhile i ask my mom or grandma to take me places because i'm to anxious to even make friends…
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oh i definitely do enjoy these times with them. but it's also complicated at times because i don't think they understand my social anxiety.nnalso, i do have a dog :)
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Hello and good day to everybody.nnI just came out to my family with my social anxiety and was met with mixed reactions. I'm going to see a psychologist next week and hopefully get an official diagnosis. It took me approximately 2 years to realize, accept and finally start addressing the problem. I'm 24, unemployed, but recently graduated as a programmer. nnI have been interested in spirituality. Meditation has helped me become conscious of my flawed thinking patterns and I've become more mindful in my daily life.nnI learned about metaphysics and I've been trying to understand social anxiety and its inner workings systematically for the past couple of months. I've also read that tackling it involves careful examination of triggers, thoughts, safety behaviors, etc. And all of this is the basis of CBT. As weird and strange as it sounds, I've found myself fascinated, even amazed by social anxiety and how it affects me.nnI watched
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This. Exactly this.
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also what type of jobs were they and how bad would you say your anxiety is?
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22, in college, and 0 work experience
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I've thought about cancelling it 200 times but I've gotta go through with it.nnI just keep thinking there's people out there going to war and performing heart surgery, if they can do that I can sit for 30 minutes and have some questions thrown at me. nnAbsolutely hate this feeling though
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Fuck yes! Didn't cancel and showed them what's up!!! Also thanks for sharing this.
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i don't know why I feel this way but anywhere i am i just feel as if i don't belong there, whether it be at school or work, and everyone else seems to act normally while i'm extremely nervous and shy. everyone seems to be able to have a flowing conversation and i can't, and i spend the whole time wishing to go home. it makes me feel awful and sad
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thank you for the advice, what kind of vitamins do you think help with it?
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I don't want to go into detail, but my life is falling apart. My family is falling apart, my lifestyle, my social life is starting to become more fake each day. I wish I was dead, then I don't have to go through this. I'm really trying my best to change but I just can't put effort anymore, I just want to be supported and understood... but with the current situation of my family, I'm burdened to give support and understanding as the eldest daughter. nnI know it's selfish of me when everyone has their own problems, but I really need help. I want to give up, take a rest, and stop giving effort. Everyone's moving on with their lives, and I can't even fix what I have in the present. I'm really tryong to be optimistic and positive, I try to ignore the sadness and anger so I can start working. But I can't get back in track anymore.nnHonestly, I kinda feel entitled that my parents should help me, that they should be reliable for me, that they'll support me. But they can't even fix their relationship, and I want to ask for help. Someone to just remind me or encourage me to
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Thank you T-TnnI feel better than when I wrote that, also online classes are starting so I have something to distract myself. I think it feels better to know that this is just a life bump, that maybe I can get through it, I just have to hold on, and maybe take a rest for a while.nnHouse is chaotic but very quiet, my parents are giving each other the semi-cold treatment, my father is obviously ignoring me and is annoyed with me: I think he's just putting his anger at me as he tries hard to keep a cool head when talking to my mom and younger brother. He's the type to often blame me when they fight, cause he can't blame my mom. nnBut when the ignoring thing happened, I actually found peace, I just wanna start to focus on myself. Of course, I'm still really sad, cause this is not how a family should be. Divorce is illegal here (Philippines) so we have to suck it all up, all this family issues, and therapy sounds nice but we're not that rich... and I'm also dependent on my parents, so it's gonna be hard. nnFor now, it's better because we're all distracted on school and work. I think I'm taking a huge blow in this cause I'm a sensitive person. I hope our condition gets better, but for now, I'll just focus on myself. I don't want to have bad thoughts like hurting myself again and dy_ng. I want to be brave, and I want to be happy, not 'fake happy'. Thank you for taking your time in giving me advices, it's really touching to know that there are still people who care T-T
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If someone can actually claim that they have done this, it would make me less worried and more motivated. But for now, I'm unfortunately going to have to stay the opposite.nnObviously social anxiety is a big problem, otherwise this sub wouldn't exist. I'm starting to think that the problem might be more genetic rather than self-constructed.
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i dont think it can be cured. im stubborn and wouldnt accept anything less than a cure. so naturally ill probably end up offing myself sooner or later. dont get me wrong SA is not a death sentence, but mine for sure is
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I'm tired. I'm so very tired of this debilitating thing that has engulfed me for the past five or so years- no, it's been longer than that even. When I think back to my childhood, it's easy to see that it's always been lurking around me, creeping towards me with an insidious-like patience.nnYou know, it's funny. I had full blown SA for quite a while before I realzed it. That on it's own is pretty normal I suppose, but what I find so damn amusing is that, for the longest time, I actually thought my existence was normal. I didn't question the fact that I would avert my eyes from my class mates, my teachers, even my friends at times. I didn't question why I would sit silently, unmoving with my eyes glued to my desk, terrified of being the subject of any amount of attention. It was only when my English teacher in 9th grade light heartedly expressed her concern for me through an indrect comment-
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Not pointless at all, I think everyone on here can relate.
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everyone has been telling me that in order to overcome it, i'll need to face it. be it i get an anxiety attack and cry profusely afterwards, if i manage to face it, i'll be able to overcome it. i'm not sure how true it is and i'm too much of a coward to try. are there really no other ways to overcome social anxiety?nnupdate: thank you so much to everyone for sharing your own experiences, detailed advice and reassurance!!! i never expected to receive this many replies and i hope this discussion will also be able to help other people suffering from social anxiety :)
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yup, i understand. i don't think it's a good idea either but i haven't tried it yet. still, thank you though! :))
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Has anyone found medication helpful for social anxiety? Particularly for physical symptoms e.g facial tension, tics.
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You see a mental health care provider. I was in therapy for depression and my psychologist suggested an evaluation. I did that and got a diagnosis. I had no idea before that.
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just checking in on you guys! i hope you're all doing okay and taking things day by day no matter how hard it is. you matter, okay? and i'm proud of you. i know this is cheesy, but, sometimes, we need to hear that stuff. you're doing well. remember to drink water and eat something healthy and tasty if you haven't in a while. be kind to yourself. you're okay. everything's okay.
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i hope you're having a great day! you're doing well
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Hey everyone, I think the pointers in this video might be of great help to you. It's somewhat of a 'spiritual' video, but it relates very directly/practically to social anxiety, need for approval, etc. I had a lot of social anxiety problems throughout the past few years, but things have greatly improved. I hope this helps you out.
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My bad, one second
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I just don't understand. Brain your not in any danger at all calm down. And then there's Obama saying a speech in front of millions of people and doesn't look an inch nervous.
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It's just practice. You'll get more comfortable the more you do it.
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I already ate dinner with them and now they want me to be part of family activities and dessert. I am done with social interactions right now and they don't get. They are unnecessarily upset that I'm hiding in my room instead of
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Man, that sucks. If you REALLY can't stand being there and being social then maybe make up some excuse (you're sick?) or physically leave (take a walk in the neighborhood?). What I find most effective for a quick
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I don't need to move, but want to live in a more social shared flat. Vibes with the roomies were okay, bit tough to judge from just 30 minutes of meeting. They wanted to get back after at most 3 days, now I got an offer after 7 days. Now i am freaking out that they only asked me because they need someone soon and noone else is interested. I also felt quite tense during the viewing, so I wasn't exactly the most easygoing person.nIs thus my anxiety talking? Would you move into a shared flat if you suspect that you were not exactly their fiest choice?
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I think, I wouldn't be bothered, which rank I had on their original list.nnBut, I'd make sure, they understood, I was a bit quirky, at times, beforehand. nIt's better to not move in in the first place, than to have to deal with daily shitstorms until you finally give up and get some other place to stay.
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I just really really need to get this off my chest - social anxiety is the absolute worst and I feel like my life is being robbed from me because of it. there's nowhere near enough recognition of SA in society and I don't think many people truly understand how debilitating it can be. I'm 23 and I feel like the best years of my life have just passed me by. I don't have the social experiences that my peers have and as I get older the discrepancy continues to increase. the gap is now so large that I don't even really feel my age. I got my university degree without attending parties, going out, dating, doing any of the things people usually do which help them to build up a sense of self/identity. I feel alienated from the rest of the world. there are so many things I want to do but can't. I've tried SSRIs but none were helpful. I've tried CBT and didn't notice any effect. exposure therapy is a grey area as most of my life probably falls under this category - having to attend classes, workshops, pracs, go to the shops etc, answer the door, talk to cashiers or whoever, make small talk at unavoidable gatherings like family events. yet despite how often I have to do things that trigger my anxiety, it's gotten no better. I dread contemplating my future because I just don't see things improving for me and if my life progresses as it has, I don't see how I could ever be fulfilled in myself or live a happy life. if I ever let myself dwell too long on the milestones I've missed out on or the development I've failed to achieve I feel disgusted with myself and hopeless, so for the most part I just avoid thinking about it. I'm in med school and starting my clinical rotations next year and just the thought makes me sick. the ward visits I've had so far were awful, I was sweaty and trembling and at many occasions had to lean against something or grab at a table for support as I felt so unsteady on my feet. I suspect that I'll get through it like I have everything else in my life, but it's going to completely sap at my energy and self esteem and at the end of it when I have to practice as a doctor I know my anxiety is going to be even worse. I've had guys that were interested in me but none stuck around for long, probsbly because once they actually started to get to know me they realised I can't hold a conversation to save my life and have no social life. SA is this huge immobilising block in my life that I wish to God I could just obliterate but I have a feeling it's going to stick around for good. the worst part is that even if I do manage to get over the anxiety aspect, my social skills themselves are non existent - even when I'm drunk my conversations are awkward. so it's not even a case of this wonderful personality being trapped inside the cage of anxiety, it's the long haul of somehow overcoming my anxiety and then starting the work of forming social skills. I already have chronic fatigue and I just don't think I'll ever have the energy for it. maybe I'll end up burning out at some point and ending up alone and on government payments, I don't know. anyway, I don't think many people will read this but if anyone does I'm very grateful to you for sitting through my Saturday night wallowing and I hope your story is less fatalistic than mine. my heart goes out to everyone who suffers from SA and I hope that in future better treatment options are formulated because I don't really agree that exposure is the best or only way to go for a lot of people, I suspect there's a neurochemical component as well. anyway. I'm slightly drunk which is the only reason I was brave enough to post this. I'm going to trawl through this subreddit looking for success stories to hopefully spark some hope for myself. or maybe stories of people going through something similar to me so I feel less alone
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I'm sorry, I know exactly how that feels. I do RBT instead of CBT and like it better. Finding a good therapist is pivotal to your recovery. I take Lamictal and Wellbutrin, as well as hydroxyzine at night. This is the best combo I've been on. nI know 23 doesn't feel like it but you are still very young. You could definitely make up for lost time. I know it feels like you're the only person who feels this way but you are not. I did all through college. I wasted those years too. It took a few years but I made peace with that. With help, you can improve. It will be gradual but it can happen.
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Some text
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Sounds cookie-cutter, but I probably regret not being more social during the first year, as there were ample opportunities to meet and bond with people that were nowhere near as numerous in future years. Part of the problem was that I was told that I would only be at that school temporarily and didn't want to get attached (I was there all four years, it wasn't temporary).nnI also regret not joining newspaper before my senior year. I only joined it because my junior year English teacher was in charge of it and encouraged me repeatedly to join her
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I can't fucking do anything. It's debilitating. I can't relax and i feel like a fucking loser.nnI just decided to buy 4 chocolate bars at my college cause why the fuck not and the cashier laughed and said “got a sweet tooth?” I laughed but i could have cried. I feel so judged all the time.nnoh also, i only eat in the bathroom because i physically cannot eat in front of people without feeling uncomfortable.nni've got a lesson next and I know i'll be stiff as a brick just trying to make it through the day.nnfuckfuckfuck I hate everythingnnTHANK YOU ALL FOR THE LOVELY RESPONSES - I've had the most amazing week and I'm feeling so much better. I think I'd just like to tell you all that there are highs and lows in life and that things do get better. :)
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I may be wrong. This is just my take on the example you're describing. My feeling is that the cashier wasn't judging you. That person was just interacting the way all of us would do if we didn't have SA. Laughing in that situation doesn't mean laughing at you. I think it's just the way that people relate to chance encounters that happen throughout the day. A smile. A laugh. Casual comments. People just find any little thing to say to others. Take away the SA and you would have had seen that encounter in a completely different light. It would have just been normal conversation between strangers, and you wouldn't have thought a thing about it. Again, I wasn't there, so I don't know the specifics. But even if that wasn't in fact a harmless comment, I still believe that my view is correct. We overthink things. We're uncomfortable, so our perception is skewed. And yes, even if the interactions aren't cruel, we still feel horrible. The sad thing is that even if we can see logically see this, it still doesn't seem to make things any easier. So I don't really have any good advice. But maybe, just maybe, if you can look at things differently you might feel just a tiny bit better. And that's a start.
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throwaway accountnni have trouble talking to myself. i cant stop doing it. according to google, talking to yourself is apparently completely normal in most cases, but i feel like i may be in the minority because it's interrupting my everyday life. i will start chatting myself up in the middle of random tasks (especially boring and/or repetitive ones) and wont really realize it until half an hour has already passed. i cant fall asleep for this exact reason. nni like imagining myself in an interview/situation in the future, and tell my opinions/stories to the interviewer/whoever is listening. whenever i notice that ive started talking to myself again, i have to remind myself that the scenario in my head is not real, and will realistically never will be. nnim fully aware of that its not real, i just immerse myself so much to the where i momentarily forget. i dont see anything/have hallucinations. ive started even avoiding social situations because i want to keep talking to myself. i would really appreciate anything any of you would have to say about this. doesnt even have to be advice. i just want to talk to someone
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apparently its called maladaptive daydreaming. idk anyway thanks for your advice
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Hi guys, I'm having a really bad day at work today. I can't really talk and my voice is so quiet and I think everybody hates me because I'm so strange and shy and quiet. Today I'm just surviving, not living. I am so ashamed of myself. nnHow do you handle these days?
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I make these really long groans into my pillow at home and imagine that the groaning is all the bad stuff leaving my body, and when I breathe back in its fresh clean air coming back.nnAlso playing loud music to overpower the mean voice in my head.
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36f but I've felt sixteen since that birthday. I never thought I would actually graduate high school, let alone college (it must have been a mistake), have a career (sympathy hire), or build a family ( I've deceived everyone) - it all seemed so far beyond what I was capable or worthy of. I've struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 13, wrongly diagnosed at 18 (bipolar 2), and started effective treatment for anxiety and depression when I was 21. nnI married at 25 (clearly someone who just felt sorry for me) and had a kiddo at 30 (who THE HELL would trust me with a child?!) - things I never thought I would survive to experience.nnI have absolutely continued to struggle (some moments/days/weeks more than others) but just celebrated my 36th birthday in the last week - something I never thought would happen. Surely I'd be dead by now. nnFor the moment I'm ok and I've surrounded myself with people who will tell me when I'm not. Happy birthday to me, and thank you for reading. u2764ufe0f
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Happy Birthday to you. You deserve everything that has come your way. Don't let your mental illness convince you otherwise. Sending you much love!
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so i haven't been attending art classes all year due to anxiety. today was the last class and i decided to go, and it went so well. i don't really have friends at school but this girl immediately started talking to me and the class ended up being okay, she was so nice. now, what if i had attended all year? she'd probably be my friend by now, no? most likely, and i hate myself for that. instead, i'm still alone with a bunch of regret, as always.
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Pat yourself on the back for getting there at all in the first place, I'm learning it's important to celebrate our little wins :) and keep the what ifs for next semester when you don't feel like going. We can't change the past but the future's still out there, friend. Proud of you!
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It was the best decision, I ever made! I did not get kill!
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I've done this a few times recently and it's awesome! All my life I thought you couldn't possibly do it alone...
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You guys ever have it all not even all but you have it good and yet still feel lonely and depressednnI'm 30nnHave a beautiful 7 year old daughter nnI have a decent job in nycnnSurrounded by family and friendsnnIn a 10 year relationship nnI feel like somethings holding me back. I been feeling like this for about 2 years as if there's some invisible barrier stopping me from loving things. It's hard to explain but also frustrating that I can't find out what it is nnI suffered anxiety all my life and never taken meds or anything usually resort to the green stuff (weed) nnLately weed has seem to less potent like it was years ago and also making me double think if the weeds actually helping or making it worse.nnI feel the need to just want to disappear and can't put my finger on what's the cause nnFeel like I'm losing my self slowly in a way
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I been smoking 15 years I think it's time for a break tbh I really notice it just makes me tired more
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Since I realised that I have SA, I have been focusing so much on making the condition less visible in social situations that I forget to enjoy things. When people talk to me, I do not really pay attention to the essence of what they are saying, I think of how to 'properly' react when they are done talking. nI have also noticed that me trying to push my SA away has kept me so busy that I forget to enjoy the present.nFor instance I recently came back from a festival(namely Roskilde), and during this time I didn't really feel like I was having a good time. Until I came home.. Now I look back at all the action realising how much of a good I actually had. I think this might come in extension of my obsession with trying to seem normal?
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I think not being able to live the moment is something many people with SA experience. Glad to read that you are successfully fighting it.
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Mine is finally setting up a date for next week. I have not done online dating since 2016.
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Kinda scared to go but it's gonna be fine :)
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Everyone around me is so smart and they know how to socialise whereas I'm just so socially awkward, dumb and downright stupid. It doesn't help that I have two very smart friends and often I'll feel so stupid for not understanding what they're taking about since I'm not on the same level as them academically. Don't get me wrong, they're really nice people and they don't ever put me down intentionally, but around them i feel like the most stupid person on earth. Why can't I be like everyone else. I'm such an outcast at school it's so annoying. It's like everyone's so clever and I'm illiterate or something. I wish my parents forced me to read books as a 5 year old, maybe I'd be so different right now!
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Wow. Thank you so much for this! You've made some really valid points. And you're right I shouldn't fret, there's no point as all it will do is make me more insecure tbh.
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So I went to a wedding yesterday it was hella awkward and socially draining but I somehow managed through it and I clicked some pictures as well,nand I was going through my gallery today and saw my pictures now I don't really click that many pics of myself nor do I keep any as my pfp, but in this one picture I thought I looked good so I was debating whether I should keep it as my pfp or not but then I was like fuck it nnCut to 15 minutes later, we were all having dinner and my mom comes from the kitchen laughing, like really loud so my dad asked her why she's laughing and then she showed him something on her phone and he started laughing as well so I asked what is it and she showed me my picture, god it felt so awful she was saying how i look so weird, I just quietly ate my food and went back to my room and removed it.nnLesson learnt
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Your mom sounds like an asshole.
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AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnUpdate: It went well!!!!!!nnUpdate: didn't get the job
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You're gonna crush it! LET'S GOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Am I the only one who is scared of what other people will say if they see that I have changed from the moment we met ? Like for example, if I am shy right from the start, I can't imagine myself ever being sociable around them because they met me shy and they think it's the way I am and I know it doesn't make sense but I just can't get myself to evolve from the first version of me they saw. I mean even if i know them better and that i can now be myself around them, i wont. I guess I am scared to surprise them or something.
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Yes! I have a memory of being 13 when I really wanted to dye my hair a
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I'm 21 y.o., have never been diagnosed by a specialist, but I think I have social anxiety especially in occasions that include talking in front of a crowd.nnMy anxiety isn't miserable but I can say that it's bad and I don't want to continue living with it, it holds me back from doing a lot of things I'm capable of. nnI'm not sure if I should see a therapist. I can't get myself into a lot of social events because I have college and studying is a priority.. So maybe seeing a therapist would help? Idk.. What do you guys think?
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I'm 19, so a similar age to you, and last year I saw a therapist for social anxiety. I can honestly say it was the best decision I ever made. My anxiety isn't crippling but it does feel like a burden at times, and seeing a therapist really helped me to address the underlying causes of it. I'd say that now I have more of an idea of how to approach my anxiety and overcome it in the long-term. I had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, so I'd recommend looking into that if you decide to go ahead with seeing a therapist!
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there's a stereotype that socially anxious people are always on their phone to avoid social interaction, but i always feel like people around me will stare at my phone screen or judge what im looking at so im scared to go on it. like if im texting someone, i constantly feel like there's someone reading the conversation from afar, but if im pretending to text someone, i feel like theyre looking at me like
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I don‘t relate but sometimes I get that feeling too. Maybe this can be mitigated by one of those screensavers that are only transparent when you look straight at them but are just black when you look from an angle.
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Hey yall, I'm in a pretty awful place right now and there's just so much and I need some advice. nnMy best friend was just hospitalized after a visit with their therapist and I'm trying really hard to keep my own mental health together and aso support them but I just... I don't know what I can do or what the process is and I'm scared and overwhelmed and even though I know they're safe and in the best place they can be for their safety and wellbeing right now I still feel like... I don't know like I failed to help them and I don't know how to keep helping them.nnI know this is stupid but I just want everything to stop being bad for a while.
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I spent so many years struggling quietly (or at least trying to be quiet about it) because I was trying to take care of my friends, my parents, my house and my parents' pets and it was a mess. You matter, you're friends matter, just remember neither matter more than the other. Every living thing on this planet is beautiful and needs to be respected more
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I was in the gym, because I'm trying to get my life back on track, and I had my bag with me. An employee walked up to me and asked me to put the back in a locker, but since I didn't have a lock, I didn't want to do that. In the end he agreed and said I had to put it in a locker next time. As he was walking away, I felt myself crumble. I had to hurry out of the gym to avoid crying there. I don't know why I cried, how do I keep myself from crying next time?
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I wish I had an answer for that. The last few years I've been the same way. The last few months have been really bad, often falling apart at work and struggling to keep my shit together. I've started seeing a therapist and got on meds that help a little but it's still a struggle.
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Hello, I've been having an existential crisis for over 2 years now and making no progress. nnI'm severally shy and socially anxious in public places. Never had any friends or even acquaintances. I was bullied in school and abused in my family.nnAnd I'm an adult now and it's getting difficult to go by living like this. nnI've long ago given up any hopes for making friends or getting in a relationship but there are other purposes in life for fulfilment, but I can't seem to do or find anything due to my problem. nnSorry, just venting out...nnBye!
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Small thing, but i just rewatch comforting shows like the office. I try to provide myself with as much comfort as possible at all times. Otherwise i remind myself that im not neurotypical and its unfair of me to measure myself against others
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Just wondering if SA is mostly prevalent in younger adults and it goes away as you get older
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Idk much about those, any side effects?
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So I was in class, absorbing absolutely nothing and feeling lost, incompetent, and anxious. It didn't help that I had just received some bad family news the night before. Off and on I'd tear up in class, but never actually cry. we have five minutes left, we're all packing up, and the professor calls on me and asks if i was okay. literally everyone turned and stared at me. i said yeah, why? and he said it was because the whole lecture i looked like i was crying. this is in front of ~50 of my peers. i was like “haha no i have allergies that may be it!” but dear god i have never felt closer to spontaneous combustion in my life. it's like my whole body got hot and then tingly. why would he ask me that? did he really expect me to be honest in front of the entire class? what if i had told him the truth? “yeah i was totally crying. you got me! my mom has a slow growing cancer and i don't feel like i can handle school right now but i don't have a choice and i don't feel like i ever did but now i'm stuck on this treadmill until the day i die” like what the fuck. and i wasn't the only one who thought this was humiliating, a girl next to me on the way out was like “why would he ask that in front of everyone” idfk man! no clue! anyways just needed to rant.
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Great save!
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or deliberately being funny or off with me because of my mental health. basically all my condition seems to inspire in them is critisism, misunderstanding or them punishing me for my lack of social interaction with them, they are all so selfish. i'm really fucking fed up of it.
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Exactly. Don't get stuck in your own head. Think of others too. I don't understand why he doesn't see the logic here. This is stuff we get taught at school.
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I keep thinking about the friends from highschool and from the military on the daily basis nnThoughts like
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I think about it so much. I even see one of them, the one I was the closest with, on the train sometimes. I get so melancholy. They probably all have friends, they've all moved on. I lost almost everything I loved and they just had to. I have no one except my family/relatives(including my cat).nnI lost all of my friends due to immense trauma and I can't seem to make new ones. Cruel world, I didn't do anything to deserve this..nnBut you're not alone. I'm not alone. Just like I got out of the seemingly impossible nightmare I was living for a long time, we can get out of this.nnSomehow.
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Has anyone lied about an emergency to avoid doing a presentation. I never gave my prof the details and just said due to an emergency I couldn't present and now I feel awful for lying.
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Yes, don't a lot of things to avoid presenting. nnI tried to switch to forcing myself to present first whenever possible. Not easy to do, but the anxiety sitting through other presentations worrying about when I'll be presenting is horrible too.
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For over 10 years I feel a huge fear when the night comes. I sleep thinking about it and imagining some
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I didn't use to be afraid of the night until I a few nights ago when I was parking my car and saw a bear running towards my house.
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I'm not talking about severe breathing issues or panic-induced hyperventilation but rather something like the following...nnYour family member is in the Hospital. Your mind races, thinking the worst. Meanwhile, your kid has developed a cough.
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This happens to me all the time, i even got tested for sleep apnea and went to a pulmonologist because I was so concerned something was wrong with my lungs but everything was normal, they just put me on anti-anxiety meds
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I've had two in my adult life and I just can't open up to do the work that really needs to be done. It's always just the surface level shit that I talk about and we work on. I can rant and rave on the internet about how miserable I am and how much I wish I weren't alive (even though I don't want to die) but I can't say it to the trained professional that I am paying to help me.
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If they can't handle you as you candidly describe, I'm sorry. No advice from me. To compartmentalize or move on or whatever all have drawbacks too. nnI spent a few hours last night, typing up 11 minutes of dialogue with mine. I get candid, hard. I'm not here to fool around.nnI would share it, but it's no use to anyone, it feels.nnYou're not alone, and you are not unknowable. You just haven't found the right company yet. But we're out there. You have friends you don't know. You're going to be OK.
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Has anyone had any success with antidepressants for their symptoms? Feel free to share your experiences (also if it didn't work out for you)nWhat worked for you and how did it affect you?
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I was on citalopram/celexa about 10years ago. It made me suicidal. I quit it and didn't go back to the dr until recently and he put me on bupropion. 1000x better experience. nHe said it depends on if there are biological causes and what those are which medications will help. He said he would never have prescribed me citalopram because of the biological cause of my depression.
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I hate that I stand in the corner, not knowing what to do, while everyone else does their own thing. I hate that I sit alone on my phone, while everyone else can move around and socialize with different people. I hate that I eat alone, while everyone else has someone to eat with. I hate that I feel exhausted, while everyone else is still loud and can sing karaoke even at 11 PM. I hate parties. They make me socially anxious. I'd rather stay in the comfort of my bedroom and only talk to the ones I'm comfortable with. To me, THAT'S a party.
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I also hate parties, which is half the reason I never go to any. The other half is because I'm never invited.
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SA totally humiliates you and debases you as a man. A man is only worth what he's able to project socially to others, and SA makes you appear weak, feeble, unconfident, unattractive to everyone (especially women.) The culture of masculinity forces us to not even mention how shitty this is, because to complain and not except one's miserable existence is weak, passive and pathetic...polar opposites of masculinity. I'd really like to once open up to someone about my anxiety, but doing that would be putting myself in a worse situation than I am already. nnThis is definitely why nearly all school shooters are men. we're told to meet these unreal expectations, and when we fall short the only advice we're given is
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I've fallen in love with many, many men who have not returned my affections. So stop pretending that unrequited love is something that women can't possibly know anything about.nnAlso, I've asked men out and have been turned down. So stop pretending that women never approach men and don't know what it's like to be rejected.nnAlso, I've been told many times, by men, that I'm ugly. So stop pretending that men always think that women are beautiful. Men are completely capable of being hateful assholes to women, so why not own up to that?nnAlso, I'm very likely going to end up spending my entire life alone, because I honestly don't want a man to be burdened with all of my emotional issues. So are you blaming me for my emotional issues when you say that women don't have to end up alone? Why is it so fucking hard for you to understand that women can be just as emotionally fucked-up as men can?
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I'm 22 years old and struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life but it has gotten increasingly worse in the past 2-3 years, especially my anxiety. It has gotten to the point where I have trouble sleeping almost every night, some nights I don't sleep at all. I decided to was time to look into medications because nothing I do on my own seems to be working. I was recently prescribed hydroxyzine to take at night to help calm me down and make me sleep. Unfortunately it didn't work for me even when I took two doses. I was now prescribed 10 mg of lexapro to take during the day and 50mg of trazodone to take at night. I've always been scared to take antidepressants because of the side effects it can have especially when you first start taking them. Has anyone had any experiences with either of these? I am hesitant to take one antidepressant, let alone two of them.
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That makes me feel better, thank you!
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i currently am hiding behind a car at my collegenni accidentally told someone that i still had a class when i hadn't, and they're on the bus station waiting for the same bus I'm supposed to be taking nnso logically I'm hiding behind a car on the parking lot waiting for them to take the bus so i can take the next onennmakes sensennanyone else ever done something stupid because they misspoke and couldn't correct themselves?
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Ugh I skipped so many presentations in college and failed a class because of it. It's horrible. But luckily in my post-college jobs I haven't ever had to do a presentation.
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The last time I had a ticket for a concert I let my anxiety and fear get the better of me and I didn't go. Last night, I said screw it, I'm going. It was in New York City of all places. I felt a little bit of anxiety while on my way into the city, but it didn't feel debilitating. This sub honestly really helped. I'm really glad I went. It was a blast, even by myself. I didn't mosh or anything, just grabbed a seat and vibed. Last night showed me there was nothing to be afraid of.
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Thanks! Nice, glad you were able to overcome it and have a fun time!
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It was the best decision, I ever made! I did not get kill!
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In my city, tickets are $7 before noon and only $5 on Tuesdays. That's the only time I'll never go lol. nnBut you're right, prices are waaay to high.
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For example a really strong scared expression or angry expression. Also when people generally make a bit of a distorted expression.
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It used to, it used to remind me of someone from my childhood who did it on purpose to make me afraid of them.
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I am a 20 yr old F - Mainly because of COVID and because of social anxiety I don't go out much (but I am getting a lot better thanks to my fiancu00e9!) but I've been noticing that some of my friends go out places anyways together, like out for a drive or even just out to the shops together without asking me (It's normally 2 or 3 of them together) I still do message them sometimes but not very often as i used to. I see photos of them on Snapchat or fb of them going out and that's how I know and I feel like I've done something wrong or they don't want me with them. Has this happened to you before and can I have some advice?
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My friends and I are all in different universities, some of them are located closer to each other, so they naturally hang out more, but it's hard to keep up with everyone. And I've long ago noticed that within our friend group there are smaller groups with a bit of their own vibe.nnI message them from time to time tbh, still I'd recommend texting a friend you feel will listen to you, start with some memes or whatever is non-serious way of conversation between you and then nonchalantly ask to hang out at a specific time, just for the sake of meeting or for some purpose. If you don't feel ready asking them first, try to keep in touch for a while longer and then ask. That would be my strategy
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Hi. I am a 26 year old male. I don't consider myself socially inept but I deal with a lot of anxiety that undermines my communication with others, especially in the presence of girls. I pass the day in my room alone most of the time. Do you think that social anxiety can be relieved with sports? Or at least a part of it? I also take benzodiazepines for normal anxiety and they are helping me alot.
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I say yes. Getting exercise helps a lot of things. What kind of sports do you like?
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I'm quite insecure about the fact that I started university at 20, when the normal age is 18. SA really interfered with my education, so I ended up having to go to community college for two years.nnnAnyway, It's looking like I'm going to have to repeat my first year because I have had problems with attendance, which has basically damaged my education. I'm really insecure about this, and I don't know if I can deal with the shame of repeating a year. What will my family think of me etc.nnnI'd appreciate it if you could share any your experience, if you've had a similar one. =)
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Do you feel like they care about your age? nnnI told a girl I sit next to in class that I'm 20 and she said
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I'm so annoyed, literally all of the kids in my class are assholes and they make fun of everyone, I have friends just not in that class and there's a bunch of people too which already makes me anxious and I know they would've made fun of my if I presented it. I want to tell my teacher but I don't know what to say. She knows I have anxiety because I've talked with her before about it..
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I completely skipped out on a presentation that I was supposed to work on for weeks and luckily the teacher brushed it off and I got a overall B in that class. But seriously, the fear is terrible and embarrassing as I had to announce to basically everyone that I did not do it.
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I've been severely depressed for awhile now. But today just was different it was my worst day I've had in awhile. I was having panic attacks every couple hours if that, when I wasn't crying or panicking I was staying in bed sleeping. And now I'm wide awake on the verge of crying again with serious chest pains and loss of breath. I feel so worthless and just I feel like such a bad person. I've been messaging others since I've been up in similar subs trying to help them and try to be such a cheerful positive person all while I feel like I'm dying inside. I feel like a burden and a waste of space. I feel like all I do is annoy people. And usually they don't want anything to do with me. Part of me wishes I had the courage to pull the trigger and end it. I haven't spoken to really anyone about this. My mom breaks down crying whenever I mention anything about my mental health, my brother doesn't wanna hear it and just tells me to man up and stop being sad all the time. My girlfriend started college recently and has So much going on plus her own problems so I can't really tell her how bad it's getting plus I don't wanna seem so weak to her. I was seeing a therapist but our weekly one hour sessions turned into 20 minutes and when I asked why he straight up said there was no helping me. Idk maybe I really am useless and just too far gone.
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Finding a therapist is really difficult, yeah. Idk about where you are, but in the UK where I am, most have the option of working online these days, so maybe that's worth looking into? Just make sure they're properly accredited by whatever professional body is the standard where you are.nnNo problem at all, I'm glad I was able to help even a little bit. Good luck with your journey - things do get better, and they will for you.
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