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So, quarantine has been tough for almost everyone in the world and it's kind of destroying my identity. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm just a separate entity doing things for the person in my body. I can understand and relate to her memories but it feels like she's missing. And I'm pretty confused as to what is going on because I feel like I've just been given a body to control and do stuff for and I don't really know what's the right thing to do. nnAlso, every month I get really sad and weird for like 2 weeks and it feels like I'm a different person every week sometimes. I've even met a friend thinking that maybe that could help me go back but it's not really working. I don't even feel like I should be here. Not that I'll hurt myself or something but it feels like I'm just in someone else's body and idk how to give the control back to her. I don't even know who I am. I can't really take the responsibility for caring for this person now.nnAs I type this, I feel like I'm lying. That this reddit post is just me seeking attention. I don't know what else to say so yeah.
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Thanks so much! U are stronger ud83dudcaa than you think! Xx
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I'm having a panic attack I have an in person interview. Not virtual. In freaking person and it's a good job. Tips anybodyud83dude2dud83dude2dud83dude2d My weakness is freezing up from nerves and not being able to answer. Help.
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It actually went very well. I used my deep breathing technique to calm down and I did not get the job lmao
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When placed in an unfamiliar social situation I'm horribly awkward, red and stuttery. When people attentions are on me I'm the same.nnBut, what I've realized recently is that this only lasts a very short time (literally less than a minute), after that everyones attention moves on. This always happens. So fuck it, I've decided to force myself into these situations. I try my best to say the first thing that pops into my head, in every situation.nnI've only tried this for a week but I've already gotten better. I have got laughed at na number of times and I've gone red countless times. But as predicted it only lasts a short amount of time. My mates said to me that I've been different lately which made me awkward/nervous as hell but you know what I said? I said 'Ye I've been trying different things to be more social
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This is called exposure therapy, this doesn't help me, I usually come home and feel worse.
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I've been very anxious all my life and for most of COVID, when I had to leave school, I didn't talk to anyone after. I was never a remote communicator, so almost all my conversation was in-person. I also have social anxiety and a social disorder which makes it hard for me to understand the intricacies of communication. A good example is I know I can smother people or not communicate at all and somewhere's there's a healthy midline on that range, I just don't understand where it is. I tend to have issues with small talk, understanding indirect meaning, and knowing boundaries. My general strategy was to avoid as much intimate contact as possible to never come off as
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Nice bratan, good job in trying to reach other to other people. I would say the best way to approach girls is through mutual friends/social circles. So i urge you to try and get new friends, myb 3-4 that you regularly see, this will take a long time to make so better start doing it now. After having a friend group, you should then start approaching girls, because you will appear social to these girls, girls would know you aren't creepy/loner and i think that's the most important thing u can bring. A loner with a dog doesn't work. Goodluck
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a little bit of backstory of me: male,20y, from the netherlands, dyslectic, dyscaculatic(dont how how to do simple calculating in my head) having ADD, and i am (as they call it) higly intelligent. or as i like to call it, the cocktail of hell. just understanding everything, wanting to know everything and just being really knolege driven, but not able to produce anything to prove that you have that knowlege. poeple just assuming that i understand less, because i cant show it, and just the consant feeling that im enough, because im not smart in the acedemic way. and with being higly intelegent comes being highly emonitonal. just all my emotions are overwhemling, and i cant stom my brain from just being silent, without the use of drugsnniaugust i had a sort of panic attack, and keyed some cars while cycling away from a party at my friends house. the next day i gave myself in, diddent get a criinal record, but got a fine for 30.000 euro's. in that time is was addicted to weed, and got help, and got better till about january this year. nnnow i feel like im back at square one. i smoke weed on a daily basis, i stil have that fine just hovering over me, and giving me stress on my perspective on the future. my girlfriend and I (who have been in a relation for over 2 years) are thinking about ending it, my friendgroup is falling apart, and i hate my internship that i am following atm.nnnow im sitting here, stressing about my research paper that needs to be done in 2 weeks, and i just dont have the strength to continue i feel like. im just, done. i just cant look at my documents without crying but i dont want to trow away my whole school career just because i got sad in the last to weeks before gratuation.nni just want to get at a point that i can proof that i am a person who can do things, and just wants to understand the world without holding a piece of paper in front of a man with a suit. but i dont know how, and the state that i am in now just makes me so unhappy.
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Not likley to be a twin, that is 23 ye... Oh no, I knew my kids would find me one day!
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Answering phones, having to
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Try to mix in a few jokes, I'm also fairly self deprecating, so I usually tell people that I'll be able to tell if they're asleep. If you can at least get someone to smile, everyone relaxes. nnI'm probably too prepared when it comes to meetings, so I have agenda full of items. nnI knew a guy who used to train Options to new brokers. No joke, he broke the ice and tension by describing how to bake a cake. Everyone laughed and the class was definitely much less bored.nnDo what works for you.
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Hello! I am completing a Diploma in Holistic Integrated Creative Arts Therapy. nnOne of my final pieces of homework to submit requires me to ask 10 people what they think > Holistic Integrated Creative Arts Therapy < is (without me telling them!) - and how you think it would benefit you. nnIf you're interested to share a response below or by DM, I'd be most appreciative!nnAnd I'm happy to tell you the answer afterwards .
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Ahh, that holistic bit makes more sense now! Thank you too and congrats :)
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At 47, I don't remember any time in my life where I wasn't able to make friends anywhere with anyone. nnMy son (16) is the polar opposite. He's been diagnosed with general anxiety with ADHD and I suspect it's the reason he's been unable to make friends or maintain friendships. He's the kind who needs to be invited but he never initiates. I'm the type who can make lunch plans with a complete stranger at a bus stop.nnI keep telling him to do what I do, offer sincere compliments to random people when you see reason to. It's the easiest thing to do yet he completely shuts down around new people, especially obvious extroverted types.nnWhat does it feel like to be socially anxious and how can I help?nnEdit. Thanks all. Much appreciatednnnEdit: this is all making me tear up. Did I fuck up with my son by pushing him too hard? I'm constantly asking him to go out, even if it's by himself. Just go, find fun. Join a pick up game, meet someone at a coffee shop, etc.
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Thanks, this is all great stuff and I appreciate the insight.nnNot trying to put a damper on your positive take on this but maybe it'll help you understand what your son goes through if I explain some of my experiences. nnI think the difference with people like me is that we lack the social skill and the ability to think of the right thing to say on the spot - our brains can't do what yours can. It's like trying to speak a foreign language we're not good at and we might unintentionally say something really offensive or just dumb and that can cause problems, whether with a stranger in the mall or with people in our lives.nnI've heard that group therapy can be good for people with SA (never tried it myself). I guess they get a controlled environment with people where they can make social mistake and learn from it in real time with a psychologist also giving insight too.nnThanks again for the explanation!nnEdit: and of course some element of this is our own irrational fears, but some of it is quite real.
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This weekend was a lot. nnOne of my good friends invited me to her birthday weekend, along with her entire friend group that I hadn't met until I got to her house. She knows I have anxiety when it comes to meeting new people, but she told me her friends were very welcoming and inviting, so I was feeling a little bit better about it until things started.nnI kept telling myself not to worry and that it's in my head, but nearly every time I tried to engage in a conversation, they'd respond with a one or two-word sentence, and then go back to talking amongst themselves. At dinner I ended up eating quietly while everyone around me had conversations. We went to the grocery store and everyone was linked up and I ended up walking alone behind them. I was included when we played card games, which made me feel a little better, but when we were getting ready to go to a club, everyone was fixated on each other, wanting me to take pictures of them and their 'squad' after they took the two or three full group photos with me. When we were in the club they had formed their own circle while we were dancing to music to the point where some of the girls pulled me back into the group a few times (which I definitely did appreciate).nnI ended up leaving a day early because I was so bummed out that this weekend ended up being something I didn't want it to be. I know I did myself a disservice by doing this, but I can't remember the last time I felt so small and insignificant. I wanted to cry pretty much the entire time I was there. As much as I work on my social anxiety and try to be fun and someone people enjoy being around, I always feel like I end up screwing myself over and making it worse. And seeing their pictures on social media after I left, I just can't help but have FOMO and wonder how things could've been if I didn't have this problem.
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I know how you feel! This has happened to me a couple of times. It amazes me how some people don't realize how rude and un-welcoming they are. When someone new is introduced to my circle of friends, I really try and talk to them and have a conversation going here and there. Because it makes ME feel uncomfortable if they feel uncomfortable lol. nnIt's exactly how I have been feeling lately. My boyfriend and I had to move to this very small country town for his work. I have always lived in big cities so it was a bit tough for me but I tried going to events and night outs with him and his friends at work. So I was basically the only one who wasn't part of their “world”. And it's like they don't really bother with trying to get to know you because of it. I remember going home one night feeling so sad, depressed and lonely. nnNow my bf has left for 6 weeks for his work and it was so short notice I can't follow him there. So I'm in this small as rural town by myself, had to move to a new shared house in less than 2 days with people I don't know and who are from his work, and I feel so limited as I don't have a driving license and can't really go around now.nnNow, I've got nothing against these people. We just don't click. But I can feel that they probably think I'm a weirdo But every time I do try to be social and fun it doesn't work out too well. Maybe I am a weirdo after all.
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Today in one of my college courses i had to pick a journal article and summarize it along with giving a short oral explanation to the class...nI basically fucked it all up. I've always been afraid of speaking.. but I've never fucked something up so bad... I don't think i could even form coherent sentences. Lost my train of thought several times. I'm so embarrassed.. the memory is hazy already since my mind is repressing it. I cried afterwards. Felt like it took me 20 minutes but it was probably only 1 minute..
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It's probably not as bad as my brain is telling me it was.. but I'm still really embarrassed.
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Hi all a little background about me: nnThroughout highschool I was builled to a pretty extreme extent, I was kicked by girls, mocked on a daily basis and literally humilated constantly. I spent 6 years of my life dreading school every single day. The way I dealt with this was to be as quiet as possible to avoid attracting any attention, as most people start off doing. Then of course by doing this you become conditioned into this negative isolated mindspace and after all the bullying was finished I was left as an extremely awkward individual. I spent years trying out different drugs, diets and meditations to help with my social anxiety. Tried avoiding certain things and incorporating additional activities which supposedly helped. I am now 20 years old and I have above average social skills and little to no social anxiety. As a reference, just 4 years ago I was literally terrified at the thought of leaving my own house. Now on my journey I spent many years browsing social anxiety forums and reddit and most of the info there just reminded me of my condition and did little to help. So I'm thinking about creating a place where people can access the information I've gathered over the years and the experience of dealing with SA. This place will be a positive place to find all relevant info on SA and help others recover. Any thoughts on this?
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Absolutely!nnI had similar experience throughout middle school and have managed to somewhat recover, but social anxiety still bothers me a lot every day.nnI'm actually very curious as to what you did to recover, I really don't think I can wait for the website!nnCan I ask what were the main steps you took towards recovery that made the biggest difference?
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Why can't I stop thinking, I don't want to feel like this.nnMake it stop please
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Thanks for the advice, I would meditate to try and calm down but I can't sit still for very long, and if I'm not doing something I start to think, and then overthink and that's why I hate not being able to sleep, I can't stop myself from thinking because theirs nothing to do really, I try to make stories up in my head till I fall asleep but It doesnt work most of the time
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Can anyone relate? When I hear about other people with social anxiety, it's usually tied to their self-esteem or ego/sense of self-worth. For example, perhaps someone feels self-conscious about the way they look. They avoid people and feel anxious in public because they don't want to be judged. Or maybe they have some embarrassing trait/interest/quirk/whatever and they're afraid that people will laugh at them for it, so they become anxious when placed in the spotlight.nnThe thing is, I don't feel inferior to people at all (nor do I feel superior) I'm actually quite content and confident with who I am. In fact, I'm even less affected by judgement than most people. I've given speeches to large audiences etc and spoke to complete strangers when the situation demanded it. I'm not ashamed of myself, or feel that I am lesser to others like some other SA sufferers.nnHowever, I still experience the biological effects of anxiety. When interacting with friends for an 'prolonged' period (which is about 1 hour for me), my mind just stops working, I have to focus really hard to come up with responses, my mind just blanks out and I feel on edge, in permanent 'flight or fight' mode. It's like I lose 100 IQ points by just being in the vicinity of people. I don't even have to talk to them, just being in a quiet library surrounded by people is a lot more physically uncomfortable than me sitting at home alone. For that reason, I dislike going out, hated school when I was growing up etc. nnIt doesn't feel good physically, so I avoid situations not because I fear people's judgement etc., but because I just don't want to experience the physical discomfort that comes with anxiety caused by socializing.nnThe way I explain to people is this, imagine a haunted house at a theme park. You know that the ghosts are just actors, but your body responds as if they are real threats, and when the scare actor pops up behind you, you scream because your lizard brain interprets the event as a threat even though you are perfectly capable of rationalizing and recognizing that it is not a threat. Similarly, I don't feel self-conscious about the way I come across to people, my looks/personality/intellect etc., but my lizard brain keeps interpreting people as threats and I don't think I just can't biologically help it.nnNo sure if its related, but I don't find rollercoasters fun at all. I'm not afraid of them, and if my friends want to go on them together I will, the physical sensation of being on a roller coaster (or any physically intensive activity, for that matter) just doesn't translate to enjoyment in my brain. Just pulling things out of my ass now, but it's like my brain doesn't find adrenaline /thrill-seeking fun, because it probably 'used up' all that adrenaline for my anxiety.nnCan anyone relate to this? Any way to alleviate anxiety naturally? I've tried exercise, diet etc, which helped, but only to a certain extent.nnTLDR; I have no self-esteem/confidence problems. However, I still feel the physical effects of anxiety around people and would like to know how to stop it
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maybe or maybe someone to tell me im just being unrealistic, either one seeing as i cant do it on my own for some reason. i dont really want to impose the details on you so i wont, but i guess i will say oddly enough i feel like i may regret not pursuing it, but i cant help but feel ill regret exposing myself like that after not doing it for so long if i do. i dont know, every way i can think to word it sounds so stupid and erratic, this type of thing is why i stayed away from all this, and never initiate anything but it managed to sneak up on me this time.
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When I'm waking on the sidewalk and someone else is (whether they are waking in the same direction as me or a different one) it annoys me so much. I hate being observed, and if they are in the same direction, I just start running until they are away from me. If they are in the opposite direction then I close my eyes and look away until they're gone past.
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Hate this too. Like all i can do is hyperfocus on the peron as they get closer and its awkward af.nnBut then i remind myself its all in my head and i need focus on something else like the sounds around me or sensation of wind or my feet walking etc.
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It's crazy how much I can relate to these posts..
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You're one of us now... the others won't accept you anymore lol
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I dated a girl about a month ago, she was interested in me since a long time and she also approached me. Everything was going fine until some days ago. I always was a socially anxious and awkward person since childhood but I changed myself, especially this year I built a new version of me. Ok so basically the problem started like this: I got busy with exams, and i've been under some pressures lately, and all this caused me a fall back to the old me, the socially awkward person. Me and this girl were in multiple short conversations and i said and did some weird things which i noticed that her facial expressions changed those moments, i also got the vibes of getting shocked because of my awkwardness. Now it's been almost a week and she's been cold to me ever since. What should I tell her to fix this mess that I caused lately? nI appreciate your comments!nnnnEdit: Don't overthink fellas! I solved it. Didn't apologized but mentioned and it solved
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Like talk to her and tell your issue, figure this out by having conversation. What can you lose
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Hi, I'm studying engineering and I've been working as an intern for last couple months. And the amount of support I get from people at the company is amazing and the intern overall has impacted me in a very positive way. From literally shaking taking phone calls, now I'm (sort of) comfortable talking about my plans for the day at the daily stand up meeting which is done in about groups of 15. nnWith this good momentum I had, I decided to join the toastmasters and to my surprise, although public speaking being my biggest fear, I was doing alright in all of the sessions I went to. Some impromptu speech I mess up but they are not complete mess up where I just stayed in complete silent. I was getting very confident about myself. And at my intern, they asked if I wanted to present at the event where there will be about 300 people coming in to listen, I was bit hesitant considering how big the event was but I said yes. nnOn the day, thanks to the toast masters I walked to the front confidently and I started off really good. I was nervous but it wasn't a bad nervousness. But midway through, I noticed some concerned/confused faces from the audience. I think I skipped small few things by accident which caused it. And from there I just don't remember any of the things I said. I just panicked. I started speaking really fast, skipped stuff and stuttered like crazy. It led to even more confusion which made me panic even more and I was just stuck in a horrible loop. nnAfter the presentation, people gave me some nice comments but I could tell that they were just being nice and weren't too impressed at all. After that I just went home and cried like I have not before. All the confidence I built up to that point, turned in to ashes. It was the shittest feeling ever. nnSorry for that long ass story but do you guys think that presentation skill is a must have skill to be a successful engineer? And even if I keep failing, will I get better at public speaking eventually? I just don't want to feel the same pain I went through for nothing. My confidence level went back to 0 and if this keeps happening it feels so pointless. I would appreciate any advice :)
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Speaking in front of 300 people is really hard even for people without social anxiety. That took a lot of guts so good for you!nnWhen I was an intern, I thought that I had to be really smart and be good at everything already. As it turns out, you don't. The people you work with just expect you to learn and contribute what you can. nnThis was a learning experience and nobody expected you to be perfect. The important part was that you tried. You'll get better at it with time. I find it really helps to book an empty meeting room and practice the presentation out loud. Actually present out loud with nobody there. If anybody asks, just tell them that you're practicing your presentation. That way you're fully prepared when it comes to the actual presentation.nnDon't beat yourself up. It was worse in your head than it really was. It is a skill that you can learn and get better at.
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Who deals better with a social anxiety? Is there any significant difference between the two?
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there's definitely a significant difference between the two. from my experience, psychiatry is usually focused on treatment. it isn't like a therapy appointment where you talk about what's bothering you. the psychiatrist is there to know your symptoms, diagnose, and medicate. therapy is usually more focused on coping techniques, and a place to talk through issues you're experiencing. so really it depends what you think is best for you. i've done a combination of both which has been helpful, but some find just therapy, or just psychiatry to be helpful. depends on the person!
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I'm not sure if this is social anxiety or something else, but every time i go outside of my house, even if no one is around, i feel uncomfortable and unable to relax. Even if I'm in my backyard, i feel too scared and uncomfortable. Listening to music usually doesn't help much and makes me more anxious for some reason. I hate it because i love being outside but i am too scared of everything and i feel like i will never fit in and be able to be independent. Is this normal and how do i get rid of it?
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i don't even feel that comfortable in my parent's house (like the living or kitchen) and only do in my own room where i've spent 90% of my days, life
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I was extremely extroverted as a kid but once severe bullying and social isolation occurred I developed social anxiety along with other mental health issues. I wonder what I'd be like today if I was at least able to change schools.
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If therapy didn't work you nA. Didn't click personally with the therapist nB. Didn't play yourself fully to the therapynC. Took the wrong therapy for your problem.nThese are very important factors for it you will get results or not
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I feel like I can make small talk easily but I'm just not good at being interesting in a long term conversation unless it's over text
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Same.nnI can talk for hours about a topic that I am interested or at least knowledgeable in, even in front of a lot of people, and it is likely that I will not recognize that the other person(s) is/arenn- borednn- annoyednn- not even listeningnn- trying to change the topicnn- making fun of mennnSmalltalk on the other hand... man, I am so bad at it. It is mostly meaningless and feels like a waste of time. The awkwardness makes me scream inside. I hate it.
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How do people deal with anxiety attacks without putting your fear into your significant other? Or just how to calm down mentally
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Never thought of it like that, for what it is
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I (f26) have been trying so hard to get in shape, I've been going to the gym most days. I've been working rly hard on myself physically and mentally nnBut today when I was at the gym I was in the free weights area, a boy walked past me to get some weights from the end amd he knocked over my water bottle, he shouted ‘I'm so sorry' and I said ‘ it's fine' and I smiled and picked my bottle back up then went back to lifting, then the boy said to me ‘what u working on today', I looked at him and said ‘what' and he said ‘are u doing your shoulders', I said ‘oh yeah shoulders today' at that point he sat on the bench next to me and started talking to me, I felt nervous coz I have sa, I was planning on doing a lot of sets but I thought I'll just do 2 then leave, then his friend came over and the 3 of us where talking for a while then we started talking about education then they asked how old I am, I said 26 they where saying I look much younger and they couldn't believe I was 26, one said u look so young and innocent like a virgin and they both laughed and I laughed too then the other one asked ‘are u a virgin' and I said yeah, then they where both laughing again, I felt like everyone in the gym was staring at me and laughing at me, I pretended it didn't bother me but inside I was dying. They where asking me why I was a virgin, they both talked rly loud so it was embarrassing. When I eventually got away I went to the locker room and started crying. I can't go back to that gym now I'll have to go to one far away. nnIt rly sucks coz I'm working rly hard on my health, lately it feels like I try so hard but I end up in a worse place than I was before.
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Those boys sound like they were the insecure virgins tbh.nnPeople who are actual adults don't go up to random strangers in a gym setting (or any setting for that matter) and straight up ask about incredibly personal info like that. That's like immature 14 y/o shit, they didn't even know you for 5 minutes.nnDon't feel upset about it, they're just literal manchildren trying to be edgy. Forget those creepers and move on.nnEdit: And don't let them force you out of your preferred gym or to make changes to your routine if you don't want to, you deserve better than that. If you see them again call management and let them know they're bothering you and asking sexual questions. That'll shut those little fuckers up.
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That we are so cautious of what other people think because we are scared that they might think exactly like we do? nnFor example, I worry that people might judge me because I can't drive a car, because I have in the past unjustly judged other people for not being able to drive a car and since I believe everyone thinks like I do, I feel like they must judge me. nnAm I making any sense?
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I've always thought that those who are most afraid of being judged, are the most judgemental. I've experienced this with myself and my family. I'm just glad I became aware of it and can now work on it!
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Today I had my first, albeit mild, panic attack in a long time, nnI feel a lot of anxiety is rooted in gaze. How we perceive we're seen, how we perceive others look at us, and how we look at ourselves. We who suffer with social anxiety want to be invisible, but in the grander scheme of things we want to be seen as the people we all know we're capable of being. If you suffer from social anxiety and live in the greater London area, I'd like to meet with you and take a photographic portrait. nthis ideas just come to me, so the visual concept needs some fleshing out, but if you're interested I'd love to here from younn
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I would love to meet up, I'm currently out of London until 20th~ of this month though.
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People of reddit, I would like to seek an advice. I've been clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. I've been battling with these mental illnesses for more than a year now. Every time I go to the hospital, I'm a little bit uneasy to be honest. My psychiatrist, I can feel her kindness and sweetness to everyone. I am very open and honest with her, especially with my issues in life, except for this thing. nnn There's a thought in my mind that every time, I speak to her, I feel like she only listens to me because it's her job, it's because she needs to. She listens so that she can reply, but not to understand. nnnI feel like an an asshole for having this kind of thought. Is it just my head messing with me? :( or should I trust this thought and go to a different psychiatrist? Please tell me if I am the wrong one, so that, I can push myself to stop thinking like this :( nnnps. this is my first time using and posting here on reddit. #Reddit #MentalHealth #Advice
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I'm not an expert or anything but think about it this way, yes she is getting paid to listen but that does not mean she does not care.nnShe went through all the trouble of getting a degree and studying to be a therapist so of course she must care, its normal to feel like she doesn't but for someone to put so much care and dedication to listening to others and help them they definitely care :)
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Been on zoloft for 3,5 months and anxiety isnt alot better. nnGot prescribed Lexapro now.nHow was lexapro for you? Did it work at all?
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Yes but destroyed my sex drive
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I have no idea where to look and how to act all of a sudden, because I'm scared people are looking at me and judging me, it makes me so awkward and scared.. nnI don't know if this is a common thing, because I never read anything about it. But I imagine it is.
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- Stare/focus in the direction you are going (like focus on the floor several steps ahead of you at around people's waist or chest height) and people will generally move out of your way (so long as you don't look around too much).n- when people see where you are looking they know were you're going and usually move n- of course you aren't a bulldozer so you may need to move out of the way occasionally (i.e. when someone clearly has the right of way such as someone lifting a heavy object or a baby stroller etc)n- for example, it's similar to how in vietnam when the roads are full of mopeds and to get to the other side of the road you must stare in the direction you are going and slowly walk across. This makes your actions predictable, which in-turn allows for the mopeds to change their course to (hopefully) avoid you.nnnIt mainly just helped me have something my mind could focus on when I was outside in crowds and it has the added benefit of reducing instances of me walking into someone and doing the sidestep hokey pokey with them.
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I'm white and awkward as fuck. I have social anxiety and general anxiety, even though I grew up in small town Midwest
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It will continue to suck unless you start making black friends dude.nnIt makes sense y'all saught each other out because y'all are different so you can relate easier.nnThis won't be easy, or comfortable at first, you just have to do it.
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I just wanna share something unbelievable, I'm a 26 year old male. I have severe anxiety. That I can't go outside, it's really hard for me. It started when I was in Highschool. I started feeling nauseous when I'm outside and interacting with other people. It was also because. I was enrolled to the Seminary by my parents. Meaning we have no gadgets, no girls, and we can't go outside our campus, only in summer. I have no friends, and even after I graduated in highschool and went to college. Also, during college..my social anxiety worsen that I dropped out from it. Fortunately I studied Culinary and got my certificate. Sorry if my story is scrambled up. I just wondering about myself..n nSo here it is. I didn't know at first that there's a Reddit community about social anxiety.. I was so shocked when I read about their experiences. Because even though I have anxiety, and I'm awkward. I still got my first Gf in highschool. I broke up with her. Then on my 2nd year in high, I had a one night stand with a college girl. She was my first. Then in college. On my first semester, I was invited in a sorority party by a girl, after the party she brought me to a motel, had sex and paid for it. Then there was a secretary on college who became my gf. And then a freshman girl in college also became my gf. We just met for 3 days. Had dinner, she went to my apartment to drink and we had sex. We became a couple for a year. Then when i dropped out, and moved to different city to pursue my dream of becoming a chef. On my first month, I was so lonely that I decided to use Tinder. And it was a success. Every week I had sex with different girls on a first date. I was so awkward. That my pick up line is
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Hey, there's plenty of us here who share the same struggles. No need to be sorry about your post! Therapy can be helpful if you have the resources to go. I still don't have any friends and struggle with social anxiety but it gave me resources to work with and practice social interactions in a safe place.
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Whenever I have a panic attack my breathing gets out of hand. I've tried doing breathing exercises, but they only work for a short amount of time for me. nnDoes anyone else have any techniques that could help me control my breathing or help me calm down more?
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Thankyou sm
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I went to one last night, where I knew the hosts and all the guests knew the hosts and each other.nnI tried to talk to other people and bf said I did a pretty good job attempting to interject and join in conversations.nnI didn't have a bad time but it was really hard to jump into their work/derby conversations. It was easier when it was 8 people and less, once more came, they divided into groups and I was on the outside watching.nnI really wanted to be able to join their conversations but I had absolutely nothing to add to them. I held off on being the first couple to leave, we stayed 3 hours and we were only the third couple to leave and we were the first couple there.nnWhat do you do when you're in that kind of a situation? Where everyone knows each other and you know one person.
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I wish you a ton of luck!
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I had a suuuuper awkward interview this morning. The woman interviewing me was very nice, some people think my shyness/awkwardness/weirdness is kind of idk...endearing? Because she did say something along the lines of 'you're funny, I like that though'. Honestly even if I got it after that I'm not taking it...the whole thing was so awkward and I can't go back lol. My other friend also warned me that someone else she knew worked there and it wasn't the best but I still went anywaysssss ughhgjdshvquvhdnnI did end up getting another job I interviewed for over the phone (and it's remote, I get a MINIMUM of 20 hours a week which is perfect because I'm a student, and from reviews online of past employees they seem to be super understanding of mental health issues and personal matters). But if anyone could share some awkward interview stories because of anxiety/awkwardness I would really apricate it because that was so embarrassing ud83dude16
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Pretty much all of them lol. But the worst was back in November I was looking to switch jobs and had an interview at a place. Being interviewed by one person is bad enough but their was two people interviewing me. I couldn't even think of the answers to the questions they asked me, got really red and was sweating a lot. I thought their was no way I would get the job, but they called me the next morning and offered it to me.
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I must confess I'm a a complete social retard, especially in work-related contexts.nnIt always goes like this. I show up, everybody's busy having a chat, and it's clear most people know each other, at least by reputation. I have no special social standing that would draw people to me, so I desperately try to findnsome available person to strike a conversation with. The longer I don't intervene, the clearer it becomes to other people that I'm
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This type of thing happens to me all the time. I am so socially awkward, even with my close friends there are constant awkward pauses, this is when I panic- my head goes insane trying to think of just one thing to say but I never can think of anything , I find this very stressful. I have lived like this my whole life but it is really good to talk to people who are the same as me, as we can joke about how awkward we are, and I guess it is kind of comforting to know there are others just like me. nnThe way I deal with my stress is simply just watching a funny series on Netflix, or playing a great video game on the PlayStation - I have realised that it takes me out of reality into a world in which I have complete control, and my imagination takes me far from the scary, awkward world outside.
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Took my first dose of Gabapentin today. Staying confident for this one so hopefully It will work well. My anxiety causes my depression so I'm hoping to get control of it. Thoughts on this medication if anyone takes it or has taken it?
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It helps me
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So this person is currently my Ex girlfriend and I flew to her to support her and be there for her grandmas funeral as her grandma was close to me too, but after her grandma passed away recently, her mental health has just not been the greatest, she stopped doing her creative sewing, stopped talking to others and just napped and stayed up all night, mid trip she broke up with me and told me that she knows her mental health isnt the greatest and it hasn't allowed her to give me the love I deserve, I was understanding and we became best friends, we still snuggle and talk to eachother the same just no kissing and such, but she hates showing her emotions and has all this anger and sadness built in, shes slowly going back to how she was but something bad would happen like her dog sadly passing away as well and it only added more wood to the fire, I reallt want to help her and hopefully be with her again, I know it might take a long time and I'm willing to be patient with her and wait, but I need help on what to tell her or what she can do to release all this anger and sadness that is stopping her from feeling, please and thank you, (we had a happy long distance relationship for 5 years and we've been seeing eachother for a long period of time by visiting) I'm happy to answer any questions or you can DM me.
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I'm happy you want to support her. You seem like a wonderful person who really cares about others. That is a great quality.nnAsk her if she's seeking mental health treatment. If she isn't, you can help her find a therapist and even a psychiatrist. Losing someone close is certainly a trauma that needs to be addressed by a professional. She may have a lot of symptoms of major depressive disorder. I would suggest reading into that.nnBe there for her as much as possible. Allow her to cry if she needs to, hold her hand, listen to her venting. I would suggest not telling her how to fix her problems at this stage - she needs professional help. If she's in an emotional state, don't bombard her with questions. Allow her the space she needs to work through it. If she develops a suicide plan however, do not hesitate to take her to the hospital. This is with or without her consent.nnShe may not accept help right away. Ultimately you cannot force a person to get help (unless it's an emergency). Just be patient and tell her you're there for her when she's ready. Do your best to understand.nnLastly, take care of yourself. Make sure you don't let her problems leech into your mood. You can help her, but at the same time take appropriate space. It's not your job to
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Most of the posts I've seen on this subreddit to do with buses have been about anxiety around getting the bus/being on the bus, but I get a bunch of anxiety when I'm waiting for the bus (esp since it usually takes a while for it to arrive, so I have a bunch of time to kill) because I think people are judging me for weirdly standing around on my own whilst hiding behind my phone. Apart from scrolling through your phone or listening to music maybe, are there any other ways of potentially
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Yeah, I could do this to an extent but since I'm at college (UK) it unfortunately finishes at least half an hour before the bus arrives (and there's a time it SHOULD be arriving, but doesn't always, so either I wait 30mins or 45mins). However I could probably do something to
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Basically the title. nnI've always struggled to make friends in real life but this has slowly moved into online life too. I get anxious just following people on social media or dropping someone a message out of the blue, I always feel like I'm going to annoy the person or that my message might be unwanted. My hands get sweaty and I get an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach (I have that feeling just writing this post). Does anyone have any tips on how to cope with this? nnI've been really lonely recently and i'm finding it tough to even message friends that I've known for over 10 years. nnThanks.
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I honestly have not thought of things this way. I have the same issues with worrying how people will react to what I say. I am going to try to look at it this way. Thank you for this!
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Hi um I really would like someone to talk to or a friend. I got dumped today :c I feel the worst I have in a long long time. My heart is empty, I feel hollow and I can't even sleep it off. I just keep off and on crying and I just really want a friend or some comfort :c please, I don't wanna be alone tonight
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I'm here for you. Break ups are horrible but it's not the end. Think of it as a rebirth. Dm me and we can chat
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I'm so upset... I haven't had a haircut in 2 years and the one I finally get looks terrible. I already hate how I look (which contributes a bit to SA) and now it's even worse. Idk what to do, a beanie is probably the best option but idk if I like how I look w a beanie lol
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I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. If you want you could always try to go to a different stylist to see if she could fix it
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Not to be judge mental but I see this all over the place. Dudes who are super extroverted and with tons of friends or knockout instagram models sharing memes about social anxiety. Give me a break.
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You realise that literally every human being is capable of feeling anxious? You don't have to have a disorder to relate sometimes.
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So I was in (online) therapy with my therapist last night and I didn't expect this to happen at all. That she'd tell me that I didn't have to see her coz she feels like we're just doing/saying the same things over and over again (weekly). Just when I was feeling myself spiral back down to how I was before I even started therapy. Oh well.nnI get that it's my fault, that I do this to myself. I work for our family businesses and I have a difficult time saying no and tasks compound onto me... It's hard to say no because I see myself as useless or lazy if I refuse, but I hardly get anything done because of my load... I get nervous and paralysed a lot too, and it doesn't help. I can't help but overthink. I try to do what she advises, but I don't think I'm doing it at the pace she wants to coz I get busy and, as she may have deduced, I guess I have some sort of ADHD and executive dysfunction on top of my anxiety and possible depression. I know I get hella busy, I know it's not supposed to be an excuse. But I just think this is just me justifying my busyness.nnI just feel bad that even she would give up on me... But it's my fault anyway. She says I have to learn to work on things myself so I guess that's what I'm left to do for now. I'll just wing it. I'm just deeply embarrassed. I think I'm too embarrassed to go back to her, and decent therapists here in my city are kinda hard to come by.nnI took a day off today. I didn't think I could show up to work with puffy eyes and the feeling of embarrassment lingering. I think I needed it despite being busy and sad.nnThanks for hearing me out and if you guys have any advice, that would be great as well. I don't mind hearing the hard truth like I just did, either.
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I mean, I do my therapy homeworks... and I spend more than an hour a week to do them. I write down what I do and what I achieved everyday, so I can show myself how busy (and rather disorganised...) I really am haha
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Hi everyonennI just got an otitis and I'm living in a boarding school. Since I have symptoms, I could feel myself pulling out of contact with others. My symptoms are ear pain, high temperature, tiredness, and frankly said being a whiny and more sensitive. But especially since the fever came I have felt like I have to isolate, like I could not be bothered with people or getting to know my colleagues, I felt that I had to force myself into socialising, even with people I actually like. I lost interest in others and instead started judging the shit out of people and their happiness but also felt excluded for not being as cheerful as others. I guess this is what depression feels like, but I have never been depressed and usually can deal with hiccups along the way. However right now all I want to do when Im around others is lie in my bed and wanting to be included in groups when Im lying in my bed.n I recently read about cytokines and that they are hormones(?) released during inflammation in order to trigger sickness behaviour i.e. to prevent the sick person from overwhelming themselves, making them lethargic, more sensitive to pain and similar stuff. I think this is happening to me now and I had this happen to me when I was 4 and almost died from pneumonia. I was in a delirium-like state and the sickness behaviour stayed with me for quite some time after recovery. I also think that being sick nowadays always triggers feeling how I felt in the hospital when I was about to die. nNow I am scared that feeling like this is gonna stay around after I recovered again.nDo any of you have experiences with sickness behaviour or with illness being a trauma trigger?nThanks for any advise in advance, I feel so lost right now with no one to talk to or understand this :/nThis is my first post btw so please feel free to advise me on length details etc
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It is not your fault, but in reality your mind has fallen prey to overthinking. It is difficult to follow your process and you have described several different issues, sometimes a couple in a single sentence. It will be important for you to learn how to quiet your thoughts and to accept all the things that are bothering you so much. If you can accept them, then they will no longer control your feelings. Until you you accept them, they do.
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It sucked. I was too nervous to talk to anyone, and after lunch it felt like everyone had already formed groups and friendships. nnSometimes, I just don't know what to say to people and even if I gather the courage to talk to someone, I just mumble the question and they don't hear me. It makes me feel even worse. nnDoes anyone have any tips on how to talk to new people/make friends?nnEdit: Thanks for all the advice. I did the T-shirt thing, and someone actually noticed it. I asked someone else where the gym was, and we ended up walking around the school to find it. I'm also trying to find a club, but haven't seen any posters or information about it.nnI'm kind of proud rn. nnThanks again, have a great day!
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Ah i just started college, lemme just say whenever I went to high school I thought things would be different, but no a lot of the middle school friend groups stayed. Definitely try making friends anyway but also high school sucks.
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My SA has gotten worse, even to the point where I was afraid of talking to my own parents.nnBut some-fucking-how 6-7 weeks ago, with the help of my therapist, just started confronting my fears gradually. First meeting my parents for some days until I get more comfortable, then my brother, then babysitting my niece, then meeting some other family members, then some group meetings, then friends from school, then female friends (of which I am somehow more afraid of) and yesterday I even went to a fucking social event where I didnt know anybody and was relatively anxiety-free.nnDon't get me wrong, everytime it takes huge courage on my part to schedule my meetings and events and then actually going there but lately I see this SA as the greatest villain in life and me finally coming to confront him heads on. Fuck that bitch, I will kill you, SA, just wait!!!nnThis whole improvment honestly gives me so much motivation to help people who are also struggling with this shit! Maybe someday I can finally make my dream come true to be a social worker and help other people in needs!
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Therapy is freaking expensive. Good for you man. Happy.
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Going outside feels wrong. I want to believe that it's all in my head but I can't stop thinking that it's more like my community is just complete shit and provides little opportunities for people with SA. I live in a small city in the Rust Belt with a skyrocketing violent crime rate. Our public infrastructure is literally crumbling in most places and everything is so exclusively designed for cars that many streets don't even have sidewalks. Literally the majority of the population is overweight and has probably never actually traveled more than a quarter of a mile outside of a vehicle. Unsurprisingly, it's seemingly ingrained in our local culture to hate cyclists and the roads aren't safe for them. For the aformentioned reasons I don't bike.nnI used to walk across town a lot but the stroads are so desolate and pedestrian-unfriendly that it feels illegal to walk in most places and crossing the street is a coin toss of life and death. The last time I went for a walk through my neighborhood was over a year ago, and it was a little disconcerting to me that the only other people I ever crossed paths with were mothers pushing strollers. My fear of being out of my element as an individual adult male on the sidewalk was only confirmed when MULTIPLE random people driving by stopped to ask me what I was doing and if I was okay. I'm sure it seems unlikely, but I know for a fact that there was nothing conspicious about my appearance or demeanor that day other than me being the only guy on the sidewalk. Maybe they thought I should've been in school that day or something, idk, but really I think it's just that unusual for them to see anyone who isn't a mother with a toddler out on a stroll. Nevertheless, the thought of again being a public spectacle of concern simply for existing has stopped me from going on anymore walks through town. Nowadays I'm actually probably significantly likely to get randomly shot. God I love this country.nnI don't go shopping. Not at physical stores, anyways. I hate useless junk and I already own everything I need/want so you will never see me at a pawn shop or flea market. I don't usually have friends to hang out with so all activities of that nature might as well be off the table. I've been to most of the museums multiple times as a child but imo they aren't really that entertaining and therefore not worth the price of admission. Plus it's not like I've ever actually learned anything from a museum.nnWalking in nature is fun ocassionally but you are pretty much stuck with the public woodland trails here which are often closed and annoying to drive to, and once you've walked any one trail more than a few times it really starts to get boring. Not to mention most nature in general is kinda overrated. The sounds and isolation are really nice, sure, but the rest of the senses usually leave something to be desired. I can't say I long for the constant smell of must and the inevitable surprise spider web in my face. Visually it's a mixed bag. Some trees have cool shapes and their leaves are always pretty, but once you've seen one sprawling stretch of decidious eastern North American woodland you've basically seen it all. The dirt and piles of dead leaves covering the ground are just ugly to me. Public parks aren't fun to go to because they're mostly just oversized playgrounds for kids and the trash cans and bathroom facilities seem strategically placed to cover every square inch of the grounds with a lingering stench. I grew up next to a lake and always thought it was something better admired from a porch or window. Every body of water here is an unappealing shade of brown or green that stews in the sun all day and absolutely reeks. Honorable mention to caves: I actually really enjoy them but they are all monetized tourist attractions, so...nnPeople have brought this up before on other reddits but it seems like they just get shot down by everyone else for being perceived as cynical losers and get offered ideas that obviously aren't compatible for someone with SA. Even if I didn't have SA I seriously doubt I'd enjoy the atmosphere of anything like a club or party. I always liked exploring, especially at night, but that feels illegal even when it isn't and I'm not comfortable with the thought of potentially having to deal with cops or vigilantes in the current state of our society. Very often I get this cabin fever where I am so sick of staying indoors and using electronics but going outside just makes me want to go back inside. I do take Vit D supplements so it's not a matter of a lack of sunlight making me depressed. I miss the days of my childhood in the Mojave Desert when my friends and I could just go out and mess around in the empty lots and no one would bat an eye.
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How are you supposed to... Idk either. I'm sorry. You described me exactly. Except that I do have a job that I love....nWhich I'm about to quit in 2 weeks. And lose any social interaction I had. And attempt to go to college. I'll probably either be too dumb or to anxious to actually do anything that anyone actually does during school too. This is my only chance too.nSo I'll end up totally alone again.nYay.nBut what else is new?nnCAVES! They're beautiful! Not too many where I am though.
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Today one of my teachers wanted someone to speak in the front of the class (a training because at the end of the year we have an oral exam...), but since no one wanted to do it, he assigned us all a number and generated a random number. and guess which number the generator generated? mine of course... But as soon as I saw my number i started to panic. I started to have tears in my eyes, I was shaking and my heart was racing.nnIs this due to social anxiety or am I weird?
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It's hard to say for sure, but that sounds like a very natural, normal reaction most people would have in that situation, even if they don't have social anxiety. It's called stage fright, or the fear of public speaking, which is very common. Of course, social anxiety could make it worse, but I would need to hear more details about your experiences with people in general to determine if it is indeed social anxiety.
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I'm not sure whether this is the right place to post, so please tell me if it isn't and I'll delete.nn Some advice or encouragement would be nice, I really don't know what to do anymore.nn Every day I think about death and make plans to kill myself. At night, I spent at least an hour or two crying and trying to distract myself from bad thoughts, which makes me lose sleep and gives me lots of headaches. I don't have anyone to talk to. I'm not close with any of my family members, and I only have one online friend who I regularly talk with.nnI was diagnosed with depression (had to stop medication because of side effects) and have symptoms of (social) anxiety. I'm also transgender and deal with dysphoria. It's hard to find a professional who actually accepts me.nnMental illnesses make it hard to focus and remember things, so I just know I'm going to struggle in college (at least it's online classes but still). I can't seem to find a good workout routine either, and quickly lose motivation.nnThe only good thing I can think of is the fact that Autumn is coming, and cold/bad weather usually cheers me up so I might be able to do a little more.nnI don't know where to start to improve my mental health though, and I don't even know if it's worth it. It feels like I'm on my own at the moment and it's like, I have too many obstacles and problems and it's overwhelming.nnIs there even any way for me to get better or am I a lost cause ? Can I still find a way to live if I don't have anyone to rely on ?
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You are far from a lost cause. You are extremely self aware and that is a huge first step in affecting change. nnI think you should put school on hold, and focus on getting your mental health better. Focus on putting your life in place to succeed. So you can love yourself, and then go to school.
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I'm having a bad time right now. I was fine earlier, but after talking to someone, I just want to crawl into a hole and not come out for anything.nnYou know the meme, where the pink blob (which is supposed to represent who yourself is) is in a square container, and they decide to be strong and take a step out (I'm guessing it's supposed to represent stepping outside your comfort zone), the blob gets punched by XYZ, and they withdraw back into the box and reinforce it, and decide, 'never again'? nnYeah, that's currently me.nnI hate feeling like this. I hate trying to argue to prove a point or defend myself, just to get shot down anyways. I hate being so sensitive that things like that bother me deeply on a personal level. I hate being me...nnI wish I was stronger. I wish I could take things better, to be able to deflect the potential pain and keep going unfazed. But I can't. I'm weak and pathetic and useless, and I should stop defending myself. Why should I? I really am hopeless and not worth defending over. I should just disappear and never talk to anyone again. There's plenty of other people out there, and it doesn't need a weakling like me. I'm just holding everyone down. I'm better off simply disappearing and being forgotten about. I wish I could. Instead of existing, knowing how much of a burden I am and how much resources I'm wasting.
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I feel you man. I get these kind of feelings at work. There are so many negative and insensitive people who love to show their
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I have been experiencing anxiety since I was 15. I'm tired of people telling me that I have nothing to be depressed about, that I'm too sensitive or that I'm being depressed and overthinking on purpose. My ex best friend ditched me and told me how can I be so negative and afraid all the time when my parents are still together and I have roof over my head. I'm not trying to be ungreatful but depression just doesn't care about what I have. It's like other people think I'm enjoying it and doing it on purpose meanwhile it's causing me nothing but suffering. I would really like to know what its like to be at peace, to not overthink everything and to not jump to worst case scenarios but I just don't have that type of thinking available. I'm in therapy and trying my best but people expect me to change overnight.
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This is so true. Anxiety runs in my family. My grandma has severe anxiety to the point where she worries all the time about everyones safety and can't sleep. I feel like people don't understand that some situation is not such a big deal for one person but can cause a mental breakdown to someone else.
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Can anyone relate? It's just the worst.
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I get told this all the time. Just this week the lady in the office next to me walked by, did an double take, popped her head in and said
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Because of social anxiety, my thoughts and mind are spent worrying about the next thing I'm going to say or how everyone reacts to it rather than just u201cbeing myselfu201d. In those few moments when I'm able to keep the anxiety down, I feel like a different person entirely as I'm more personable, kinder, more well spoken and more aware of my surroundings. Or maybe it just seems that way because I'm not worried about what people think about me. I don't know, has anyone found good anxiety management techniques?
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Hei. I feel you and can empathize 100%. Usually, I go with what feels good and what can make the conversation feel good and light. Of course this depends of the subject. There are a lot to talk about this but mainly avoid this 4 things: to look smart, to be right, to seek approval from others nd to try to fix everything. nnHei. I feel you and can empathize 100%. Usually, I go with what feels good and what can make the conversation feel good and light. Of course, this depends on the subject. There is a lot to talk about this but mainly avoid these 4 things: to look smart, to be right, to seek approval from others nd to try to fix everything. . .
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Ok, so, long story short, it's been a long day and my anxiety is basically mia atm. I'm not feeling very anxious right now I'm feeling very chatty and I'm feeling a lot of feelings (hrt might be helping with that.)nnThis is huge and I feel really good, tho tired, rn. But I was courageous today and I have confidence tonight. Ik the fights far from over, but I'm gonna bask in my victory tonight. nnIt's been a long journey, and this is one triumph of many ive had. Maybe my words will make some of you feel good or inspired. That's the best outcome i can hope for from this. nn(Sorry for the lane title btw)
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Isnt hrt the same thing?
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Anything positive?
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i really really think before i speak.. thoroughly
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I'm on a combination of Sertraline and Wellbutrin. The former basically kills my sex drive but I'm okay with it. I was never getting it anyway so it's actually a relief that I don't have to think about it all the time. But I'm afraid that if I don't have that motivation I'll remain a virgin even longer. Not sure what to do.
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Thank you , I'm not sure what and if the Dr . Will prescribe anything
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As the title says.nnI've mostly beaten the majority of my social anxiety, but it still persists endlessly around girls. nnToday I accidentally arrived in class late. Sitting next to me was one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen. I figured since it was teh first day, it'd be the perfect chance to introduce myself after class.nnClass ends. I chicken out and leave. Dammit, lol.nnOur next class is in two weeks considering our teacher has taken next week off.nnWhy can't I just talk to people. Goddammit.
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A big part of it was the fear of rejection. It had happened so many times up to that point, I just knew it would again.
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I just realized that I hallucinated as a kid and I don't know if this is normal. I still get hallucinations and I have been seeing my doctor about it. They're different to the ones that I used to get. I used to smell things that weren't there as a child and now I hear things, voices. They whisper to me and I genuinely thought this was all normal. I feel really lonely now that I am noticing that this isn't something everybody has. This is has been happening on and off, I got them when I was primary school, then, I got them in secondary school and I am still getting them. I feel horrible. nnAnyway, I just wanted to know if hallucinating AS A KID is normal, even the symptoms wear off or not, I saw a lot of controversy online and in my circumstances, I don't know what to do.
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I think it might be given circumstances. at least ur not alone like ibhad a whole fake world by 12
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It probably won't turn into anything, and that's okay. I usually think people hate me or think I'm ugly or stupid. I just wanted to share. It feels good, is all. nnEDIT: thank you everyone for your kind words. It makes me feel so much better!
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Does it matter? In the modern era any way of contacting someone is acceptable. Besides, this is about OP overcoming something we all sttuggle with, even if email isn't the preferred way of communicating, it's definitely better than no comms at all. Good for you OP!
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All my conversations are just basic conversations and nothing more. In TV Shows and Movies every conversation advances the story and adds to the characters, and people around me are talking about interesting things that are happening in their lives. Why can't I do that?
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Can't really help you but I most definitely struggle with the same thing, so I feel you on that!!
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Just wondering if SA is mostly prevalent in younger adults and it goes away as you get older
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haha thanks for the concern. there is quite literally a subreddit of minors on r/teenagers so it's not like we're rare lol
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I have honestly been in the process of obtaining my license for over a year now. This is due in part to COVID pandemic hitting the DMV hard. I maintained my job during the course of the Pandemic last year so overall trying to get limited DMV appointments last year was horrible.nnI have gotten my learner's permit twice because my first one expired last year from so much delay. Since then I have taken my driving test twice. The second time I feel like I regressed and made much more mistakes due to my nerves.nnI'm aware there's no instant cure to anxiety for exam time but how did you guys go about it? What helped? Last minute advice?nn&#x200B;nnUpdate I guess: I passed yay :)
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I failed the driving test 7 times, passed on the 8th :)nnCan't really give any good advice, just keep practicing and your confidence will outgrow your nerves eventually. Also with every new attempt I was a little less nervous then the previous.nnJust sharing this so if you ever fail again and feel like giving up remember there's people like me that failed many more times but still got it eventually haha.
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Lots of you have been asking for updates on this post that I made 4 days ago and here it is.nnSHE FINALLY SAID YES! Thank you all so much!nn(Original in comments)
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(https://www.reddit.com/r/socialanxiety/comments/iqncrl/i_23m_just_asked_out_my_friend_23f_through_text/)
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Example, i would walk past a group of girls or even guys and for some reason, i don't know if i should look forward or to the left of them or something. Like for some reason, i can't just relax. I also maybe have to change my walk or pretend I'm on the phone. Like i need to feel socially accepted by them. But either way, i still feel like they talk about me.
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I get this. I have no idea where to look. Especially if you're walking down a long hallway and someone is walking toward you. It's awful
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we were told to group ourselves for a class project, but i didn't know anyone there. tried to be outgoing for once, and initiated asking people if they want to be groupmates with me. people kept leaving the group i made, and it didn't work out. had a panic attack over it, and i am now paralyzed to do anything else because i can't stop thinking about it. nnit's just sad because for the first time, i didn't retreat. i was actually proactive despite my fears, but it still didn't work outn :( now my head is full of toxic thoughts — what if i'm not likable, what if classmates think i'm over the top, or what if i get embarrassed in front of the class for not finding a group :( i don't know anymore. nwhat do i do :((((
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this happened to me yesterday. our teacher said to get in groups and i didn't know where to go. she then said only my name and if i wanted to join a group. i looked around and every single person was with a group except me. i still feel embarrassed and hate joining a group feeling like i'm intruding when they don't want me there. i wish i had an answer but all i can say is i relate
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How is it that one day you can wake up feeling like a god damn king, and the next day you wake up feeling like a meth'ed out infant, who can't even stand his own skin, even though it seems like nothing even changed?
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I don't know, but I think it could be related to our dreams, even if we don't remember them directly.
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I'm gonna sound so stupid because this is probably so basic but I just suck at leading meetings. I find myself making things extremely awkward and I don't have enough self confidence in myself to the point where I defer to someone else almost immediately when I get to a point that pertains to them . I feel idiotic because I'm a rather new employee and don't know much about what I'm doing (I'm an engineer). What do I say at the beginning of the meeting? What do I say at the end? How do I keep a good flow? What do I do during awkward silences? I don't even know at this point. I feel so incompetent at this point
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Hey! - I feel the same way a lot of times. I am a VA working from a different location than my clients. I found myself feeling nervous on the virtual meetings because of all of the eye contact. My nerves showed through in my tone and articulation. It hurts less since I came across a new app that gives me instant automated feedback on how I am speaking in my online meetings & presentations. It does things like track filler words & pace of my speech. I have been using this to reduce my habit of speaking too fast and it's interesting to see how my habits vary across different meetings. Seems pretty handy for anyone doing online meetings nowadays & looking to make sure they are speaking effectively. Check it out at Poised.
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It's the same type of panic just with the benefit of being able to ignore the message for awhile. nPeople probably think I'm ignoring them cause I'm an asshole or I think I'm “too good to answer them” but it's literally the exact opposite. What really sucks about this is that even making online friends is difficult, it's as if no matter what I'm just trapped.
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not replying is rude; using the
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Am I the only one? I often space out and dream about a better life. In this life I'm social, less insecure, and I have lots of friends. I'll think of mundane activities such as having a simple conversation or going to the mall with friends. Because that isn't normal for me. I would never be able to do such things in life. It's exciting when I dream about it. Sometimes I wish I was the
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maladaptive_daydreaming
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Just here to let this out abit, also would love to see anyone's input. nnSo basically, my mental state has been completely ruined by the lockdown, and I know that was always gonna happen because here, in the UK they've spoken about the rising issue of how mental health conditions worsened during lockdown. But I feel like I'm still struggling 2 years on after covid. We have no restrictions now in the UK so life can go back to normal but mine just hasn't. I still lock myself in my house and have crippling anxiety and depression. For more detail, my anxiety really hit me on the second lockdown (November I believe) And I haven't been to same since. I was hospitalised this year due to my mental state been driven so far into being suicidal. I just don't know what to do. Lockdown completely ruined my life and I just don't know how to get back up. I've never had this much anxiety and depression in my whole life (I'm in my early 20s). I lost my job, my social life (because every time I go out I come back home and have massive anxiety attacks) and my personality. I also have extreme insomnia too - which I never had prior to lockdown happening. I've seen life go back to normal for many people but I'm convinced lockdown has done this to many others, while I was in hospital the nurse told me how they've had more individuals come in because of mental health conditions that started during lockdown - pretty sure she said this to me as a form of consolidation. I just never heard any myself though, so I dunno. My life pre-covid just seems so hazy, feels like I can never return back to it. To me, I feel I've completely lost my livelihood and mental health to covid. I feel bad saying that because I know many families have lost loved ones due to this pandemic. But yeah, that's all. Has anyone felt the same?nnExcuse the poor punctuation and grammar please, thanks.
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I've been seeing a therapist for the past 2 years!! I see her weekly and I feel she really helps and I'm thankful all the time for it! I've voiced my fears to her. When Covid first started I was about 4 months into a new relationship, and literally at that time when it first started coming out on the news I had TERRIBLE anxiety over Covid, I was so sheltered and scared for it to come to the United States, and my now husband noticed a huge shift in our relationship because of how badly my entire brain shut down to everything except fear! It changed my life to an extreme. I don't really know anyone IRL who's been affected this way either. It's definitely scary. :( nThank you!! I'm hopeful for our futures!
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I call it “fake it until you make it” I basically just try to act like the extroverted person I really want to be as much as I can even if it's out of my comfort zone. I can't do it 100% perfect obviously but i think it's working at least a little bit. nnDoes anyone have anything they've done that's helped ?
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I'm so awkward I don't even know how to fake it.
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30 year old child here ud83dude4bud83cudffbu200du2642ufe0f. Don't even get me started on how immature I am for this age.
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For me it's the opposite. I feel like an adult in a 19 year old body ud83dude02 My whole body hurts, I'm all hairy, I'm moody all the time...
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My psychiatrist prescribed me this recently for my anxiety, after prescribing Propanol which did absolutely nothing for me. I also take Escitolapram (lexapro). Has anyone ever been prescribed or heard of Topiramate for anxiety? nnThanks I'm starting to get discouraged on finding something to help me.
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Hi, just read your post , I understand the pain you are going through, if you would like to someone and get a different angle of view, message me in private, happy to help! I also want to recommend an unique mind reprogramming podcast that is created by a guy who is a clinical hypnotherapist and had dealt with PTSD due to his family committing suicide when he was young,He is now teaching others how to deal with this, with depression and anxiety.
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My social anxiety is sucking me dry right now. The only places I feel completely comfortable at home...even places that I would have considered
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I know that feel being in my room in the dark is the absolute best high I can achieve. Going out feels like I am being ripped from something so cozy and familiar and put in a foreign cold environment where the situations are out of my control and it is an awful existence.
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Please
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Thank you kind stranger I read it all and surely will use your advices I really appreciate the time you put through this thank you very much
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Every once in a while I check my followers on Instagram and find out someone I considered a friend or acquaintance unfollowed me. I try not to let it affect me too much, but I do unfollow them back unless I'm really interested in their posts. Is this okay to do? Even if it's not personal, I take it as them not being interested in me anymore and decide to make the feeling mutual.
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omg i thought i was the only one . i automatically assume they're not really interested in me
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I went to this speed friending thing today. nnWhen speaking to others I feel like I rush to fill silences and also ask others questions about them more than they ask about me. nnI want to just relax and just shut up at times and let the other person take responsibility for keeping the conversation going and if they judge me negatively just accept it. Even if I stay quiet for a few secs and see what happens. nnI feel like I may be noticeably uncomfortable which probably causes problems as people just don't want to be around that.
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It's hard it gets awkward
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Today I blew a kiss to the mail carrierud83eudd26ud83cudffcu200du2640ufe0f I'm used to doing it for family and friends and got nervous when I saw them outside!!nnThe other day I ended a first date with an u201cOkay bye! Love youu201d nnud83eudd26ud83cudffcu200du2640ufe0f make me feel better by sharing yours?
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Mine was during the only normal u2018party' that I've ever been to, even though there were only about 10 people. I hadn't ever been to that big of a social gathering with girls, so I was nervous as hell. Social gatherings to me meant getting together with a bunch of other nerdy guys and playing video games. Hell, it's still like that for me. Anyways, the party was full of people I either wasn't really comfortable around or didn't know. As I went down to the basement, there were 4 or 5 people who immediately stopped their conversations and just stared right at me. Then I saw this one guy I knew who put his hand up in a sort of waving motion and said hi. In a moment of sheer panic at all of these random people suddenly staring at me, probably thinking u2018who the hell is this guy?', I put my hand up and said, u2018gimmie five' in the most unconfident tone. nnthe guy's hand was now down by this time, but he lifted it back up and gave me a high five, looking really confused. I think he said something like, u201cI was only waving, but ok.u201d nn The 3 girls behind me laughed and I just died right then and there with probably the reddest face ever. The rest of the night I made little conversation with anyone. Instead, I was thinking to myself about how much of a fuck up I was. nnI still lie in bed some nights remembering this horrible situation, but now at least it's something I can laugh at a little. To this day, only a few years later, I still suck at casual greetings. And I haven't been to a party since then either... I guess some things really never change!
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it could all be so simple, my life would be 100x better without social anxiety.nnedit: looks like I'm trying MDMA lmao
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Like the one in the movie Limitless . That would be awesome. I think adderall comes closest to it. Could make the SA worse though
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The last two weeks my anxiety and depression has been a bit worse. Yesterday I just felt numb and couldn't pull myself together to study for my midterm. My husband asked why I was feeling that way and if I stopped my medication. And it's nothing and everything at the same time. If that makes sense? The news are depressing af. Everything in the world feels like it's going to shit. I feel alone, friendless. Overwhelmed by deliverables for my masters program and a non profit I volunteer with. The house is a mess. But I don't feel that these reasons are driving my depression, just my anxiety. But maybe it's all connected. nnI just know that all I want to do is sleep. Or run away to a cabin in the middle of the mountains. My thoughts are not nice towards me. Don't feel like eating, not even my coffee tastes appealing.
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going thru the same thing atm
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I feel totally left out at work, socially and culturally. I'm weird and always say the wrong thing. I have an unrealistic amount of work to do but the social piece is the worst part by far. I just want to turn on a switch and make myself likable.
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As someone with autism, I really appreciate the work you do. I had a therapist when I was younger who really helped me. I hope you find your work rewarding, despite how difficult it may be
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I've been at this for over a decade, and nothing has helped. nnI feel beyond hopeless. nnAnd I'm only 23, I should have much more of a life ahead of me, but at this rate, I feel like I'm just a dysfunctional & inadequate human for the human experience. nnIt's as if being born with my heart defect (that if I didn't have surgery at birth I would've died) was a signifier that I wasn't supposed to live this life; that humans got in the way of evolution and decided to help me live. nnMy body & mind feels so incapable of anything. I am anxious 24/7 (generalized anxiety) & get overwhelmed at the slightest of things. A lot of things scare me, especially the future. nnAnd I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm just a burden to all, which is why I have lessened my speech & express myself less because it pains me to have other react to me in such a way.nnWhat are people like me supposed to do when nothing has alleviated my poor mental health. (Except psychedelics, but temporarily, because I'm bad at remembering/integrating experiences.)
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I'm 35, been to countless of therapists for the past 15 years, tried tons of different medications, work out, meditate, isolate, rid life toxicity...nnThe thing I've learned is you will live with anxiety and depression for the rest of your life. nnYou can't be curednnBut the beauty is; nothing is inherently wrong with you. No need to be cured. Life is still beautiful, even with depression and anxietynnOur brains process stress differently. Does not mean something is wrong with usnnI encourage you to continue to find ways to cope. Over your life you will see that you will have some good years, and some bad years. All of it is worth it u2764ufe0f
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I never know what to say. I'm in a few group chats which I've been in for years and I've only ever said 1 sentence
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I struggle with the same thing! I'm so scared to say something dumb. I feel so much pressure to say the right thing and after a while I just stopped going on there all together.
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A few days ago, I thought for an entire day how, at night, I would seriously swallow an entire bottle of pills. I managed to not do it, don't exactly know how, but I did. And today, I don't know why, I got the urge to re-watch A Silent Voice. I remembered it being a really beautiful movie about redemption and forgiveness, but I had completely forgotten about the fact that the plot is mainly about fighting and surviving suicidal thoughts/attempts.nnAnd let me tell you, the last 30 minutes I cried non stop. I don't usually believe in such things like fate, but this movie came at just the right time for me. It truly makes you see the beauty of life, which, to be honest, I had forgotten was even there. And even if it's only for a little while more, I will hold on. nnI sincerely recommend it to anyone who anyone who's currently fighting this battle. Maybe it will help you as much as it helped me.
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I will put it on my watch list and make sure I do watch it. Thank you!
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it could all be so simple, my life would be 100x better without social anxiety.nnedit: looks like I'm trying MDMA lmao
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Yeahh there's some truth to that
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I've been on Cipralex 20mg daily for about 5 years now. I think it helped but only with physical symptoms. I've come to question the purpose of medication. My main concern is that I don't think medication can help you change your negative thoughts or make you think more positive... It just helps with the physical symptoms. And the physical symptoms i get are manageable. My thoughts are my real problem. I assume medication can't change your negative thoughts about yourself? Can it help me make eye contact with people? Can it help me be myself and not care what people think of me? Doesn't seem to be the case. Or am I wrong? Should I consider switching my medication?
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Add therapy
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hi all 2nd time here cant lie not much improvement from the last time i was here just wondering if anyone can tell me if my loneliness is me or my mind trying to convince me no ones there feel like no one gets me or gets wat its like family dont know how to help and friends say the same things i gotta hold back tears most hours of the day cus well i dont know what to do
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I would add to that sleep. It's the most important thing. Switch that phone off. I recently uninstalled social media apps off my phone. If I want to go on social media, I use the laptop. It's much better.
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My brother has been battling internal issues for the past several years. Ever since he had what might seem like a “spiritual awakening” he hasn't been the same. He recently started “fasting” claiming that God led him to do it to and is “waiting” for his sign to stop. He apparently believes there is a higher purpose to his starvation. But he hasn't eaten an actual meal in almost 2 months and has only been eating fruits a few times a week. Now he's saying that if God decides he needs to die to “save his family” then he will. However, we feel he is acting under delusion and have tried talking sense into him but have had no success. He refuses to eat and much less to seek medical attention. We don't know how to approach this difficult situation but I'm hoping someone has had experience with something similar and can offer some guidance or advice. nnThank you for reading this.
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Thank you for your advice & I'm glad you were able ti get your husband to seek help.
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Not sure if this is the right sub, because this is not just social but generalized anxiety but,nThat's basically it- I went to the tobacco store and Walmart and Starbucks. The cigs and coffee were rewards for going to get groceries. And I haven't went places by myself for months and I am super proud of myself u263aufe0f
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I'm so proud of you! I've been trying to slowly go to stores and it's been difficult, but we can get through it. I know exposure is supposed to help so I've been going into coffee shops a lot to hopefully build myself up to going to grocery stores again (my boyfriend has been going alone or we go as a couple).
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How many times have you said to yourself I would love to do this new hobby or I would love to try this career path or whatever it is you want in life but realised you can't do it because your shit with people? That's me right there I just fail at making connections with people and that is a basic requirement for so many things in life.
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I started circus Aerials and Acro yoga a year ago. It was traumatizing, I was weird as fuck, but God dammit I just kept showing up. Now I have new friends, I can talk to people, I'm comfortable in many social situations, and I even had a girl for a little while.nnYou can make excuses or you can put in the work. You can make it if you try but you have to decide to keep trying after every failure. Trying every once in a while isn't worth shit. Putting in small amounts of work everyday makes you unstoppable.
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it could all be so simple, my life would be 100x better without social anxiety.nnedit: looks like I'm trying MDMA lmao
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RICK JAMES CHUCKLE
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And what do you think can fix it? If you know...
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My father he is very overcritical of everything I do and has been since I was a child. And my grandmother (his mother) she was overly critical too, but since she died. I feel a little more relived. I think being bulled at school just piled on top of that.
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I need help speaking with strangers. My job calls for it sometimes. Anyone want to PM me and we can schedule a video call to talk?nnEDIT: This is open forever, so feel free to message me. I need constant practice.
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Great idea.
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Yesterday I officially broke mentally. A friend witnessed and said she didn't think I was that bad and it scared her. I told close friends that I'll be trying to burn bridges as it's best for everyone to forget I exist. Which it's true. Nobody should be near me like this. But it's kinda sad that literally everyone left me on read except for one. I guess it makes it easier in a way to completely shut down if there's only one person in the flood zone versus many. Just hurts I guess because I always go above and beyond to support those people and now 99% just leave. But it's what I want so whatever. nnI feel betrayed I guess.
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Something I learned last year is that friends are not
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Hi everyone, I think I might have had an anxiety attack recently and have taken a few of the free online tests to see if I actually have an anxiety disorder and just wondered if they are actually even close to accurate (because usually they aren't) XDnI have considered trying to ask for professional help, but I'm the oldest sibling and don't want to put any extra stress on my parents, I work 46 hours a week and don't have time to actually go anywhere and l'd have no idea how to even go about bringing it up to anyone.nThanks for any advice at all! :-)
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I doubt it. I would go see a psychologist and get properly diagnosed.
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Had to get gas and purchased a drive through car wash on my way there. I had to go in to the convenience store to print my receipt. A guy who was leaving held the door open for me and that was a little awkward but FINE. Got my car wash receipt at the front desk and that was 100% smooovve. Target was less crowded than normal so minimal bumping into people. My cashier was a friendly old lady, not the fake friendly but the honest friendly, the kind of woman that admits when she's utterly confused and doesn't look down on me for being awkward and unsure. I didn't have to take deep breaths for five minutes in my car before driving away, I was just happy hungry and ready to go.
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I'm happy for you. Small steps!
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I've tried CBT for years, many different medications, but honestly the only thing that has ever improved my social anxiety was losing weight, getting good clothing, good cologne, and having a nice haircut. I've tried for years to tell myself that looks aren't important, plenty of people don't look like models, I'm not the center of the universe, etc, and I believe it on an intellectual level, but I can't stand knowing that anyone could walk by me and think that I'm ugly or fat even if they only think it for a second.nnIt almost seems narcissistic. Why do I think I'm so special that everyone around me, even a complete stranger, has to think that I look good? Is the root of my social anxiety that has ruined my life really something so petty and vain?
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I feel like some people are shooting this down way too fast. Even if it doesn't apply to you it doesn't mean it can't be true for others. And if I'm being honest, I can really relate to this, even if it's difficult to admit.
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Hi there, sorry if this is a bit messy, I never know how to do these because I feel so insecure doing it. nnI just wanted to ask if anyone feels like everyday at work or school or whatever, you feel like you're getting on and then the next day you feel like everyone doesn't like you that much, like they prefer other people and then some days they are like that with you and then the next its the other. You know its just you overthinking it or being too attention seeking but its really convincing and you can't kick the feeling. nnAt work I feel so shy and awkward and then I feel like I fit in because people say im good at my job and that they like me but then I'll feel like someone else is more popular and I get jealous and that why doesn't everyone like me as well. It feels so pathetic and I do it everyday.nnLike when a new guy I was mostly speaking to speaks to the others and gets on with them I feel like he just gets on with them more and I feel so threatened. It's just so exhausting. I get jealous whenever anyone else is liked and I get distraught and uncomfortable whenever someone isn't like overly being my best mate and then I start saying
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That's a really good way of looking at it, I really appreciate you sharing that with me and don't apologise about the long post, it's really really nice of you to take the time to help me. I'm in retail and yeah it just does feel like, why don't they say hello to me when they walk past everytime, do they find me boring now, do I look like I don't like them.nnI just feel like the social energy thing will end up with me hating myself and using it to say I need to have more social energy for other people. But I will definitely give it a try but I do find it hard to not almost make the stuff help me, not help me.nnThank you again and as you say you
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I'm searching for a part time job but I'm feeling more and more hopeless the more I try.
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learn something related to programming lol
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Hey people of this subreddit I'm a tenth grader who's been struggling with social anxiety for awhile now and just had a moment today that pushed me to my breaking point. My science teacher was calling kids one by one to individually come up to the front of the class and draw some outlines on a map while everyone else's eyes are fixed on that one person. Of course she eventually calls on me and I go to the front of the class with no idea what to really do. I started physically shaking from the anxiety which teacher notices and she says in a loud voice in front of the class
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Sounds like you handled it quite well though.nnI'd say my most embarrassing moments were the 10+ times during high-school when I started a presentation by not saying anything and people laughed at me.
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My self esteem is horrible right now, i constantly think i'm ugly and i compare myself to people i know and even strangers constantly. My self esteem effects more than just my appearance though it makes me feel talentless, boring and not enough, in my early teen years i constantly felt inferior to my friends too. I struggle to find a reason why i have friends or a boyfriend because of how badly i see myself! Does anyone have any tips on working on self esteem? (i'm in therapy but we are currently working on the going out aspect of social anxiety, i'm trying to work on this in my own time)
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Comparison is the thief of joy, they say. And where your attention goes, your feelings follow. It sounds like you focus on the negatives you see in yourself, and perhaps even maximize them. Our emotions are kind of a lens that both frames and distorts our perspective, so a helpful skill is to be non-judgmental and stick to the facts. This helps you see reality as it is, instead of distorted by your emotions. Instead of judging yourself, and calling yourself ugly, stick to the facts. Say “I feel unhappy with how I look. My boyfriend says he likes me. I have friends. I desire to change and improve. I have positive qualities.” If you focus on your positives, while still acknowledging growth/improvement areas, your feelings will likely follow.
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