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Do you get exercise and socialization? Or are you stuck indoors?
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Nice
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I always feel terrible going to any kind of event where there are other people because of my social anxiety, but I usually end up going anyway, even if it's not even something I'd be interested in if I wasn't feeling judged the whole time. But if I don't go, I feel like my parents are going to judge me as a video game addict, or think I'm lazy for not helping with whatever I'm doing, or wasting an opportunity to do something, or whatever other reason I come up with. I end up doing anything anyone asks me to do, because I'm just incapable of telling anyone no.
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I've never related to someone more. My parents would sometimes start yelling at me about how I need to join society if I turned down hanging out with people. I had to start lying and say they couldn't hangout so I wouldn't be judged for not wanting to be around people.
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I cant just say “no one was looking at me or cared, I'm just overthinking” because some moments are truely embarrassing for anyone even without having social anxiety.nNot that the smaller more insignificant moments also drive me crazy..nHelpp haha
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you need to practice self compassion and rationalization. whenever i cringe thinking about a moment from the past, i remind myself that it's okay that i had a cringy moment and that everyone has them. and then i try rationalize things making myself aware that nobody is thinking about my embarrassing moment and if they are, i shouldn't really care about their opinion. nnyou should also practice staying in the present. you can't do anything about your cringy moments happening. you don't need to bring that feeling of embarrassment to the present. by doing so, you're making your past, your present.
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Just trying to learn something about myself and social anxiety in general so I'm wondering if any of you guys read books and if so, what kind? Is it non fictional, romance, comic books, mystery, educational, life changing, journalistic, or a combination of different types.nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/woq6mb)
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Great! Reading is awesome when you're reading what you like.
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Why don't we all try to play a game together just to actually start doing things with other people socially. I haven't had friends in years and I'm just sick of it. I've never had online friends and I just don't know how to even start. I've tried texting with people here sometimes but I feel like if we don't actually start talking with our voices instead of just texting, we will never get anywhere. But that makes it worse because I'm sure a lot of us are terrified at the thought of talking to random people you don't know. So maybe we could start like a small community of idk, gaming? I'm not sure what game we could play but just something where we could play together and get used to forming a connection with each other. After a while we could start talking with mics if we get comfortable enough. nnMaybe we could just play something like gta and just fill the lobby with a bunch of socially anxious outcasts like us. A place where everyone will be nice and understanding of each other. Most people will probably be muted but the ones that start getting comfortable enough will start talking to each other slowly. Same thing could be done with minecraft, even on consoles if anyone starts a realm. Some of you probably already have vr chat in mind so that could be a good idea. Not everyone has a pc to play that though so a good alternative could be Rec Room if any of you guys have heard of it. It's very similar to vrchat and I think it's on mobile too.nnI know there's a discord for this subreddit but everytime I go there, I just see a bunch of people who are already friends just talking about something else and I have no idea how to talk to them. They also don't even seem to have social anxiety. They sound completely normal and not nervous at all...nnOverall I just want us to actually start interacting with each other and start building actual friendships with one another. I see a lot of posts here with people talking about how everyone judges us and how we are so alone and depressed because no one likes us. Well, I also have a fear of being judged and people thinking I'm pathetic but sometimes I see posts here where people talk about their issues and I just think, why can't I ever find someone like this in real life. That's probably because I never will, especially where I live. Maybe the only way for me to actually find people I would like to be friends with is online because where I live, it's hopeless.nnSo you guys, what I want right now is for you guys to start posting your online name tags on whatever consoles or pc you have, with your sex/age, and with the games you have that you would like to play with others. Lets try to friend each other as much as we can and maybe we could start a community. nnI'm a male, 20 years old and I play on ps4, psn: death_skull123nGames:nGta V, Minecraft, modern warfare, bo3 zombies, rocket league, rec room vr.nSo yeah guys, add me, and comment your info so others can add you as well. If you have xbox, other people with xbox can friend you, same with pc/steam. I want to get a lot of people involved in this for there to be a bigger chance of people actually making friends. That's why I'm doing this. nnOk, so now the reason for why I'm actually doing this. nI'm a huge outcast in this world, probably more than other outcasts for many, many reasons. I've just had a confusing life and I've been so fucking stressed for other reasons for so long. There's other issues that cause me this stress and anxiety, but being with out a single friend for 3 years has made this so hard. I find it easier to make friends irl but with no school or work, I've no idea how or where to meet people anymore. I live in houston and I just feel like this city is not for me. The people here are so damn extroverted and so full of pride with their customs and I just don't get it. I wasn't born here but my parents are immigrants from mexico and came here to find work. They also had family here so it was easier for them. But I just grew up so differently from the rest of the kids in this city. I actually grew up in kansas before I came here and not only that, but my family was very poor so I almost never had cable or internet which is why I never knew too much about what was popular or what other kids liked in terms of music, tv shows, etc... So I was always an outcast in school until I started acting like the other guys just to fit in and well, just have friends. But after I graduated, I realize that that whole time, I was being someone I wasn't. I don't like trucks, or sports, or drinking, or doing drugs... That's what a lot of people in my schools were always into. I cared about video games, movies, anime, youtube and things like that. I kind of lost myself and who I was because I thought I had to be like the rest of the people but that wasn't right. I think to grow at your full potential, you have to be yourself. I've been working on that for a while and I finally feel a lot more happy with who I am and a lot more confident. I finally started thinking that there was nothing ever wrong with me and that I was never less than anybody. But now there's where this issues came up. I just don't like the people here... I've tried making friends with coworkers but I just can't because we can't relate. I wish I could move but it isn't that easy. This kind of turned into a post with two purposes so this feels weird. But I kind of want to get myself out there. Explain who I am and where I come from. Fuck it maybe we can all just chat a bit here, I wonder if there's anyone who can relate to what I've just been talking about. But still. I'd like to make friends with y'all.
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Thanks for commenting. Do you play with people online or just by yourself? Also, what is anxieteded?
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I(29F) don't fit into the typical perception of someone with SA.nnI don't clam up in social situations. Instead, I talk more, sometimes to the point of dominating the conversation. I absolutely avoid social situations as much as I can, especially large gatherings, but when I can't, I actually end up behaving more as an extrovert, as someone with no qualms about socializing. As such, I've been questioned about whether I have SA, and people have even implied that I'm lying about it, and/or using it as an excuse.nnWhat they don't understand, however, is that I'm overcompensating. I don't want people to think I'm rude, or anti social, or anything like that, so I try to make an effort to talk, and end up taking it too far (I am working on that, and am improving, but it's still hard). No one sees the struggle I have in the days leading up to the event, that I have to talk myself out of cancelling. The pep talks I give myself, the reminders that I'm overthinking it. Or the days afterwards, where I'm dissecting every interaction, wondering if I did or said something wrong. Did I make enough eye contact? Too much? Did I seem dismissive? Uninterested? It takes a lot of effort and energy to stop those trains of thought, and I'm mentally exhausted for a while, but no one sees it.nnI know that most people here, if not everyone, can relate to some of this, but what I'm wondering, what I guess I need to know, is whether I'm the only one who talks more instead of less to cope. I can't be alone in this, right?
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I swear that this is my biggest problem about my SA. its like im either too afraid of being judged or having an akward silence so i talk more.. I end up saying things out of impulse.. I feel so uncomfortable when people stare at me that i become dissoriented.nI believe that we talk more in this kind of situations because we are too afraid of losing control. Since we are already in a panic from being too overwhelmed.nThen afterwards you cant help but think about how stupid and annoying you sounded and you think that everybody hates you. I really understand what you are going through.
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So I'm almost 20 years old and have pretty bad social anxiety. I'm also super shy and and introverted which doesn't help. My self confidence isn't the best so when I do things I do them soooo awkwardly. I feel like when people are around me they think I'm this awkward kid that doesn't know how to do things. Anyone else?
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to be fair that's very young to be married and nothing to compare oneself to
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For me, doing exposures with a psychologist has helped the most. We rode bikes around and I asked
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I wasn't really able to make much improvement on my social phobia until I felt a better about myself and my future. I got more confident and was more willing to face social situations, and it was easier to see my words in a good light. How did I become more optimistic? I suppose it was a combination of SSRI's, therapy, support from my family, and time...sorry that I can't help.
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Was just thinking...earlier today I was walking past someone I used to hang around with when I was a kid many years ago. She looked down at her phone and walked past without saying anything...nnI suppose there are so many possibilities why this may have happened - my instant thought was she didn't want to interact with me (possible). I guess there are other possibilities - might have felt awkward engaging with someone haven't spoken to in many years - might have had other things on her mind etc. nnBut I am like this generally - I often don't acknowledge people - keep my head down etc. I think I may have very low emotional intelligence. I can see why people can take this lack of acknowledgement the wrong way (not knowing it's not personal against them).
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1. She didn't see younn2. Your appearance was different and she didn't knownn3. She was awkward as wellnn4. She didn't remember you close enoughnn5. She didn't care to deal with you ( positive something was on her mind/more Important)nn6. She avoided you.
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I'm still scared shitless but part of me deep inside tells me that everything will be ok.nn​nnEDIT:Typo in title. Fuckin' great.
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So glad I dont
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This is unbelievable, but it is expected now. I've lost girls before because of my issues and anxiety and neediness. But this one seemed different. She was kind and understanding when it came to my anxiety. She always talked about working through it together and shit. And understood why I acted ways sometimes.nnShe's been acting distant and barely texting me back and I took it as a sign I needed to back off and give her space. Like I was being too needy texting her all the time. This went on for a couple days and she finally just told me she has a lot going on right now. I knew exactly what it meant and obviously got really worked up and sent a lot of long texts saying how I was changing and shit for her that will probably be embarrassing later when I calm down. nnI've only know her about a month, it's crazy I know. I messaged her on facebook and we texted a lot for a week or so before we met at her house. We had fun and went to bed. I ate her out but I couldn't get it up so she acted like it was no problem and we would get to trust each other more. This still went well for like 2 more weeks. I asked her out she said yes we met up at her house 2 more times and the same thing happened and she always acted like it didn't bother her and she really liked me and had a big heart and was understanding.nnThen the 4th night she wanted me to leave earlier. Like 10 instead of 2am. I immediately noticed something off about it but didn't say anything. nnAfter that it's been down hill. That's when she started barely texting and always saying she was busy. I even brought up how that's what people say when they aren't interested and questioned her feelings, and she said she understood where I was coming from but acting like that and overthinking would only push her away and that she liked me. It went on and on this past week until today we weren't communicating at all. I thought she just needed some alone time. She even sent me a happy goodnight text last night. I was very wrong and it hurt. nnI'm 21 and have never really had a steady girlfriend outside of chicks in middle and highschool. Haven't been laid but really thought she would be the one with us building trust and her being understanding. There's just nothing left. That trust is gone and all my concerns and anxieties were confirmed tonight. It's not just overthinking like she said. There's no way to live with this shit. People don't want you. People don't like you. I need help if I want to stand a chance at life. nnJust when I feel like I'm being built up I crumble back down.nnEdit- it just goes to show no matter how understanding someone acts and how big a heart you think they have they can only take so much. And I can only take so much. Idk how I'm gonna bounce back this time guys I really don't
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yeah I stopped being needy but only because I convinced myself to trust her and her judgement. Thought she'd contact me when she could. She had acted so understanding and like she genuinely want to help me through it, so I came to trust her word and give her the benefit of the doubt when she wasnt texting back as much and stuff. What good that did. It was coming anyway. It just sucks because when you finally get yourself to trust someone and relax a little with the neediness, it turns out you shouldnt have trusted them, they were going to hurt you like all the rest.
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I don't understand why it's this big thing when someone's is quiet and withdrawn. I'm very quiet at school due to social anxiety and the teachers treat me like I am weird and a child.
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That person shouldn't be teaching kids
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Yeah... Anyone have any tips? I'm a little agoraphobic, and the thought that I can't 'escape' the interview even if I want to makes me get an slight anxiety attack, which makes me nauseous and gives me the urge to go to the bathroom. nnIt's a position as an apprentice, so they know that I have no experience of this beforehand, but I don't want to come forward as socially incompetent, since the interviewer knows my teacher (former student). Transportation is also a big issue. I have to take 2 buses, one of them from a city that I've never been to, so I'm scared to get lost. I'm freaking out now. A part of me just want to text them and tell them that I have already found a job (lie), but this is likely the only chance I have for getting a apprentice job this year. I have no problem taking a year off, but I don't want to disappoint my family. :( Any help is appreciated. Sorry for my bad english.
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Haha, if I could be someone else than my self I would. :)
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I gained 30 pounds of depression weight and have been struggling to lose them. Nevermind looking good before (though it was awesome), I used to be so fit and strong. When I was gaining the weight and in the thick of my depression, my body was as strong as my mind. I went to a hypnotherapist and it helped me get over my depression slump, but now with Covid and sheltering I feel myself slipping back...Anyone else want to vent about their depression weight and/or share how they're working on it?
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Idk if your on medication etc but for me exercise, running biking helped reduce appetite to junk food and then weight loss happened because I craved less junk food
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Just wondering if SA is mostly prevalent in younger adults and it goes away as you get older
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Too old.nn​nnYou really have to put in work to get over SA. It never just goes away. You will have no support as SA is heavily looked down upon by the majority IRL.
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I'm rapidly approaching 30 and due to some idea I had in my youth I never learned to court a woman when it was
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I feel you at 22 similar issues have a place in a new City, but make excuses everyday and regret all of these wasted chances, but you cant keep putting it off. It only will get harder and harder as you avoid/tell yourself you are inept, you have to u201cJust do itu201d or youll be 40 with the same fear and less likely to break the patterns the longer you stay in them. Best to do it now while your brain is still forming connections and break the avoidance/fear. We can do this.nnIf you cant get coffee with the supervisor or take it out of work I would pursue the other woman just not at the expense of your job & try not to compare yourself because were all on our own journey, Id start with coffee keep it casual and see where it goes. Fix your situation at the same time imo the right woman should help you build from wherever you're at in your life.
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My best friend (and only friend) was going to show me a funny video on his phone. For a split second, I saw his snapchat chats. There had to be about 10 people who had recently sent him messages or snaps. 10! I haven't recieved that many texts this year! I'm always the one who has to start the conversation, on the rare occasiins I have tge confidence to, and it feels like nobody wants to talk to me. One snap was from my crush, that really made me feel shitty. I thought I was doing okay with her, until I realised this. (For some context, I know that my crush and best friend are just friends, and not flirting, because my best friend has a girlfriend). I wanted to cry because no matter how hard I try to socialise, something always knocks me down. It's literally destroying my confidence. Is anyone else like this, because I feel like the loneliest person on earth right now.
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I'll text you! I want nothing more from you than friendship No personal details need to be shared, no pics, certainly nothing financial, nothing more than platonic, DM me if you want. No pressure!
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Hi everyone,nnThis will be more of a rant than anything else. I've found myself in a pretty lonely situation and don't really know what steps to take from here.nnI've just graduated college which I was taking online. It took me a hell of a long time and a lot of hard work, and I'm proud of myself for it though I realize to others it may not be the biggest deal in the world. It gave me purpose. nnBut... Now what? There's a job opportunity that has fallen into my lap which I don't plan on wasting, but I have to wait until a few things are settled before I apply. Apart from that, I've got nothing going for me right now. nnI don't even know what I'm looking for here. Forgive me if this is all disjointed, I'm just afraid I'm falling into a pit again.nnI don't have any friends, my family lives far away from me, I've got nothing filling my time, really. I've been thinking about learning a new language since I've got nothing but time right now which has been going as best it can with anyone starting from scratch, but I've got this nagging thought in the back of my mind that I can't do it. It happens so often with mostly everything, which is why everything I do slowly becomes more and more difficult.nnLordy, not sure where I'm going here at all or if any of this makes sense... Just hoping someone can relate, maybe? nnThanks for reading :)
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If you can find one thing you kinda enjoy that might help. Something that you wouldn't mind failing at or doing poorly. Like learning a language like you said, or working on cars, gardening; something you just like to mess with and don't need to succeed at.nnI've been trying to learn an instrument for a while now and it gives me something to look forward to. I suck at it but it's something to focus on other than my boredom and anxiety. And I suppose I suck slightly less every day.
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I have trouble accepting that people genuinely like me so whenever someone's nice to me I question why their being nice. Anyone else suffer from this?
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Yeah i always assume people are just nice to me. Despite how much reassurance I can get, I doubt i'll ever convince myself that someone truly likes me.
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It has helped me when I needed to be unaware of my surroundings and distracted constantly to not be traumatized further, but now it's just making my life suck.nnI feel unattached to my body, like it's just a skin suit and I happen to be in it. I can't think to write or really read anymore, which has always been two things I've loved doing for the sole reason that they never failed to make me happy back when I could find a few braincells to do so. Even when I try to focus on things, my brain just won't work. Yet when I need to think about every bad thing that's every happened to me or every minor thing I have to do, it's quick to jump on that like it's what I really need to be obsessing over.nnHow do I convince my brain that things are fine now, that I'm safe, and that things *will* get better soon. Jesus christ I'm reliving every bad day when I don't need to anymore. No amount of moving and freedom to live independently can fix that. No amount of venting on the internet and constant immersion in media can fix this, and it sucks.
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Thank you for your comment. When I move in going to try and start going on walks in the woods. I've found it has the possibility of being relaxing when I feel safe in it.
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I'm a 21 year old at university and the other week, I was round a friend's place. There was about 5 people there who I was comfortable with and have known for over a year (but they still know me to be shy). They invited some people round from upstairs who I'd only met/seen once or twice before, and about 5 more people came round - 10 in total (or something like that).nnAnyway, as we were talking one of my flatmates, who's a bit mischievous and might know about my social anxiety, prompted me to tell a story that I had experienced only a few days before. All eyes shifted towards me.nnFirst couple sentences went fine, then that's where it went horribly wrong. My voice got shaky, I could feel my shortness of breath, forgot words, and worst of all I could feel my heart pounding through my neck for a couple of seconds. I stopped to take a breather and then tried to do my best to finish the story as quickly as possible.nnI hate it because as a 21 year old guy, especially with a few girls who were in the room, I feel so embarrassed and never want to see these people again although I know I will.
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We've all had similar experiences and we are all left with the same thought: I'll forever be the person who did that awkward and embarrassing thing. And we really believe that.nnnBut think about this: if you had to sum up every person you know, no matter how little or well you know them, in a single sentence or two how would you? How many people do you sum up in your mind as,
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Anyone else get really anxious to get a job because of your anxiety? I'm 20 and have never held a paid job (only done volunteering and stuff but anxiety gets the best of me and i can't do it long term without being exhausted). Sometimes I'll muster up the ability to apply and send in the application, but then I get so nervous about interviews, not being qualified for the job, not knowing what to do when I show up, etc.
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I totally understand. I've done interviews and stuff for other things like applying for board positions in a club or volunteer work. But for some reason a job interview scares me way more. I have no idea how to dress professionally and the older i get the more i feel like the lack of experience will haunt me. I think the other pressure is that I'm premed so i dont really have the mindset of pursuing jobs in small businesses (not that those are bad at all, they're wonderful and i wish i could do those instead). I feel stressed that other ppl my age have been able to do research and internships and meaningful professional careers while my anxiety cripples me lol. But i actually applied to be a TA and got the position for next quarter! Although its unpaid since its my first time, im pushing myself to do it again if i like it and get paid c: thank you for sharing its encouraging to hear from others who relate. Props to u for applying to 50 jobs that must have been exhausting!
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Hello, I am almost 21M and my longest job was about a week.. I most certainly have social anxiety and apparently a judgement phobia.. which was told to me by my therapist. Well now I just ignore my therapist calls and haven't put out any job applications for a couple months now. Seems like I am going backwards, and I feel behind from everyone else my age. Used to not go to school, then did online school..class work was always easy for me, and I graduated.. but school was tough all because of acne. But now I have no acne, but insecurities change overtime.. so now it's acne scars etc. Truly wish I could just relax and enjoy social situations like everyone else seems to do, and I want the constant thoughts to go away. I feel like I'm stuck in a loop as well.. eat.. sleep.. video games.. occasionally workout. Although I am 5'10 and 175 pounds, so I'm an average build I would say.. but yeah sorry I feel like this post is kind of all over the place but feel free to leave some comments of any kind, or questions. I would love to meet some of you guys.
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Dude i hate when people point out
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I don't know if this belongs here. But I am so lonely and desperate. So here goes.nnI don't have any friends. I was a victim of bullying when I was young and after that I never had a close friendship with anyone I almost never got invite to birthdays. I don't talk to anyone from high school or college anymore. They al stayed talking to each other but somehow I keep getting left out. When I talk to family or new people. I'm not nerdy enough to follow the nerdy people conversations but I don't know how to talk about politics or sports either. And I certainly don't care what the name of the local celberty's new kid is. I never know what to talk about and when I expres an opinion, I sometimes offend people. Usealy in social gatherings I sit in a corner and drink because I'm afraid to talk to anyone. Once I'm drunk I apparently am more enjoyable. My cousins even ask me if I am going to drink at the party because they want to see
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I play video games. I started to play dnd last year. But it's hard to find a group where I feel comfortabele. As I said. Most of the time I'm not experience enough. That leave a Gap between me and the other player. And people can be mean and inapropriate.
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I hate that I'm a fucking loser. Everyone that I know has a life, whereas I don't. I complain and complain about all of this, but I don't do anything to change it. this is because I just can't bring myself to go to places that are filled with people, I can't even get a job cause im scared of the interactions I'll have. The fear I have with interacting with people is causing me to lose out on having a life and it's also making me lose friends (heck, I already lost half of them). I just can't seem to make new ones cause of my SA. Im also terrified of going to therapy. I just feel like im wasting my life daydreaming about being able to go to places without fear and having the life I want, but I just can't get the courage to change.
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Thank you so much for this positive comment, really made me feel much better! :)
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As an extrovert, I've been feeling really under the weather lately since I've come to college to find that everyone I meet is either a huge gamer or partier (both of which I'm not particularly fond of). nnSo I'm looking for friends to go explore the city, the coast, and restaurants with, but I'm shy and stoic when it comes to meeting new people, and it's hard for me to control. I've also never approached random people and befriended them, and my one on one conversations don't last very long before crashing into a wall, and I excuse myself to the bathroom or whatever pathetic excuse I can think of. I don't know any clubs I can join halfway into the school year either.n nUsually my free time is spent practicing guitar in my room or going to the gym with my suitemate who judges everything I do (Meh. I don't particularly care what he says about me, but I sure wouldn't want him as a close friend). nnOh, to give you an idea of what I was like before, in high school I was the awkward skinny Asian kid in the back who played games at home all day. I've left those habits a while ago. (except being Asian ofc) nnI've pushed myself out there, gone to raves, parties,nand in general hanging around groups of people, but I made the mistake of hoping someone would come to me. nI'd like some ideas on how I'd go about making friends at this point, since it's the awkward point in time where everyone has pretty much settled down with a group.nnTldr: How'd you guys in college make friends? nAny bit of advice, and I'm all ears. Thanks!
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Join a club
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I've been struggling with a few things recently and I was wondering what's going on.nnI grew up in a physically abusive home for the majority of my childhood and with therapy I worked through that, and other traumas. nnI haven't felt safe outside of my room. I get this unexplainable feeling of discomfort and anxiety wash upon me when I am away from my room. It's almost as if I no longer feel safe. The second I'm away, I long to be back in my room. nnI was wondering if this would stem from traumatic events that part of me never forgot about or what else it could be and how I would go about getting help. nnxx, I send love to everyone who uses this page for help and to give help <3
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oh yes, she meant it like that, but since I am not ready and didn't try it yet, cant say if it works.nthat's what I meant
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Hey reddit! This is my first post, so please bear with me.nnI struggle with moderate social anxiety, and being put in a situation where everyone knows each other and I only know one or two people is pretty much my worst nightmare.nnMy boyfriend's best friend, whom I have met, is throwing a house party in 2 days. My boyfriend will know most of the people invited, as it is mostly people from their extensive friend group. There will probably be 20 to 25 people there and I don't want to end up clinging to my boyfriend all night, but I feel so anxious about talking to/drinking with these people and I don't know what to do.nnMaking it even more complicated, my boyfriend and his friend (basically the only 2 people I'd feel comfortable talking to) will be DJing the party, so I'll be on my own for most of the night.nnI just need some tips on getting through this night--my boyfriend is really looking forward to it and I don't want to back out of yet another event just because I'm nervous. Has anyone been in a similar situation?
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Thank you! I'll keep that in mind and maybe brainstorm some good conversation starters before I go.
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So when I was in high school, I had crazy amounts of anxiety. This is before my anxiety disorder diagnosis, so I just believed the anxiety telling me that no one likes me. Im sure y'all get it. I was a weirdo in middle school, so I just thought that nothing had changed and no one would think about me positively. I was very shy and only really spoke to my group of friends. nnNow I realize that maybe no one talked to me because I didn't talk to them, but I digress.nnOne day, during my senior year, I was waiting in the snack line and the cutest guy in my grade was standing behind me. We had a few classes together, and he was friendly with some of my friends, so we had a kind of jokey friendly relationship, though we weren't friends. We're talking and he said to me, u201cColeeford, you're so cute.u201d And my anxious ass was convinced that he was joking around. So I replied, u201cI know,u201d in a jokey, singsongy voice. Then I got my cookie and left. nnLater that day, I was in math class with the guy and somehow it came out that he was calling me stuck up after our interaction. I was so shocked. I felt like I was the very opposite of stuck up! I was anxious and thought everyone else was better than me! It was such a weird thing to hear that someone thought I thought I was better than everyone. nnNow that I'm medicated, it seems hilarious. Like, yeah my response sounded stuck up af. But at the time I just thought we were joking around. So that's kind of how I realized that no one cares about you unless you give them reason to. And how what's going on inside your head isn't what everyone else is thinking. I know this is just a silly little story, but it was one of my transformative moments when it came to my anxiety, and I thought others might relate.
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I enjoyed this story a lot but If someone called me stuck up id probably die a little.
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Can anyone relate? I love people a lot, generally, and that makes me think of them all as superior to me, which gives me a lot of confidence issues and anxiety to be on their level and be worthy to them.
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Thought i was the only one, dayum.
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If you were trying to describe SA to someone who has never heard of it before, in a couple sentences or less, how would you?
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Appreciate the answers guys. Just to throw my two cents in. For me, I generally like to equate my SA to a car's rpms that are in the red. It's as if every negative thought you could possibly imagine about yourself constricts your ability to re(act)
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So, what I am wondering, is if there are names for different types of social anxiety.nnTypically when it is described, its something like, being afraid of social situations or talking to strangers or being quiet around them.nnBut for me, it is solely with having friends.nnLike, in school, I was always the leader in group projects, I talked with a lot of people, but I had a fear of getting close with people.nnI could sit there and talk to someone for an hour at lunch, but if they asked me to do something, like, outside of school, I get terrified and can never do it.nnIs there a name for something like this??nnThank you!!
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That might be it wow. I'm going to talk to my psychologist later this month and see if that matches up, thank you so much!
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I wanted to volunteer somewhere so I looked at their calendar and noticed I missed the orientation for new volunteers. Called them up and left a message saying I wanted to get involved and noticed I missed the orientation. Proud of myself for calling but...nnLooked today at calendar and realized it was the Feb 2020 calendar...not 2021. Probably sounded like idiot on phone. Hoping they'll call me back and let me get involved. I called yesterday afternoon and am still waiting.
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I'm sure they appreciate your willingness to help above all!
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Losing my mind right now. I'm not taking the jab I'm fully paranoid about it! I don't trust our government in the least bit. I guess I'll look for another job.
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Dont hate yourself. Its a learning curve for a lot of people.
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I'm a junior in college, in class with one other female student. Our class is kind of like a tutorial where we design our own syllabus. I am under the very strong impression that my instructor really does not like me. He only ever criticizes stuff I say during a discussion and last week when the other girl led discussions he said
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This happened to me with a lecturer when I was in college and she actually failed me on my final assignment. I had it remarked, only for the mark go up more than 10%. I honestly wish I had confronted her about why she always called me out in class and then failed me. nMaybe you should confront him about this before he fails you for no reason.
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I've moved to a new office with 10 women. They are all around 35_50. And I'm early 20's guy. But what pisses me off is when they make lewd comments or sexual remarks. Here's the thing, I look about 17 and I keep to myself at work and just have my head down. The other day one of them said
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What you are describing is sexual harrassment.nThese women should know better. Unfortunately our society seems to have a double standard right now where some women think it's okay for them to talk like this in front of men but if the tables were turned they'd be mighty offended. nIt may be a good idea to talk to HR about your options.
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I'm not sure if this is me over thinking due to my social anxiety but is it weird if you on your phone and you see someone has sent a snap to open it a minute after they sent it or us there no time?
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if someone opens something instantly for me i assume they were on the app and just clicked the notification i dont think anything of it
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has anyone ever gone to one of these , on purpose or dragged along in a group or family trip?nni just realized this 50s-themed diner near me is like this, they throw the silverware down on the table and make you feel like an idiot for not saying what you want to order right away, etc. they give you paper hats to wear and will knock them off your head walking by your table, or write
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I'm too sensitive for something like that, I'd probably start crying. Even though I know it is all just for fun and entertainment, it would just makes my anxiety spike
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I'm 24 and I've never had a real job. I currently work from home doing freelance video work and whilst I do make enough to get by I could do with a small part time job to give me a little extra cash to play with. n nI feel like a standard retail job is my stuff of nightmares so I was considering applying for one of those bike couriers like deliveroo or uber eats. I enjoy cycling so thought it might be fun way to earn a little more cash. n nAlthough I won't mind the cycling between deliveries, the picking up and dropping off bits do scare me a tad. The fear of the unknown is a big thing for me. n nSo I was wondering if anyone else with SA has one of these jobs and if they think it'll be suitable for someone with SA. n nThanks
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Nope! All you do is sign up and input your vehicle/bike info and take a profile pic. I was good to go the next day. nnEdit: I'd also recommend choosing a block of time to work. I only get a few orders in the morning, but during the lunch rush I get order after order. I hear the dinner rush is the same.
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Random post because I'm bored.nnFor a while now, I've noticed that I often flinch when I'm touched. And it's not always a cute little flinch, but a hard recoil. It's almost as if my body is trying to ward off any physical sensation, but deep down there's nothing more I want than a long hug. Flinching is really the most embarrassing thing about me, and something that I wish I could change.nnAll of it, oddly enough, is connected to one part of my body, that is, any part of my back. Now, it's not like every time someone touches my back I flinch, but it's happened enough times to be a noticeable pattern. The last time it happened was about a week ago, when at work, a person sort of brushed up against my back, and I arched it really far. Of course, I was so embarrassed. The thing is, it seems like an uncontrollable muscle reaction. I don't WANT to move away like that, but I don't have any power over it. Another common example is, whenever I get a haircut, you know how they put the clippers against your neck, with that horrible buzzing right by your ear? Well, whenever the barber touches a very specific location on the left side of my neck, I recoil really hard. They always ask u2018are you ok?' and I get really red in the face and tell them I'm fine. But god, I wish I was dead at that point. It's not always people touching me, either! Sometimes, when I brush my back up against an object, I flinch hard. Not sure if this is normal, but it just feels to me that it is not.nnI don't know why I flinch. I think it fits with the mild social anxiety I have. Maybe something happened to my back when I was a baby or something. Or maybe it's the fact that I've never had physical intimacy with anyone. I mean, I've hugged family, of course, but the fact that I rarely ever experience the touch of another human really gnaws at my self esteem. I'm just always an uncomfortable person, it seems. The number #1 thing I want in life right now is to cuddle, and I can't help but imagine how great it would feel. But then I realize that I would probably be a jumpy mess and it would ruin everything. So yeah... just a vent, kinda.nnAnyone know why I might flinch so often? Or does anyone else have similar experiences and flinch often?
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I have a similar reaction to touch, but mine is more so when I don't realize someone is there. So if I really zone out, I have a more extreme reaction to touch. nnI have talked to my therapist and we think I might have some form of SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) which could explain my extreme reaction to people touching me.
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What do you do for “fun” (not work, school etc) when you leave the house that's worth combatting the social anxiety for?
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Yeah true. Even if I choose to do something I want to do there's some form of social anxiety mixed in. Hoping to find something that is worth being anxious for that I enjoy lol
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I think my parents have had a major role on me developing social anxiety and bpd as a kid,So i was recently having a conversation with my sister about our parents.I said something in the line's like they should have separated way before since they fight constantly and i feel like they are not at all compatible (i have seen them fight and argue every single day as long as i can remember), to which she said that she's happy they are not divorced and would rather be it just the way it is then them being separated.nnWhat are you guy's opinion on this?would you rather have divorced parents or parents that fight and argue constantly and why ?nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/u41r2f)
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I am not sure. My parents divorced pretty early but that wasn't the actual problem. The problem was my father's behaviour during that time and his absence for 3 years. I turned into a ruminating, anxious child with depression.nBut social anxiety developed way later when the bullying started.
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I'm going to go to every event my school holds this year, and make the most of my senior year. This stupid social anxiety that I've had my whole life, causing me to never do anything with other people, is going to lose.nnWatch I'll be shaking on the first day of school still
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Glad to hear that! Hope things go well for us!
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// suicidal thoughts nnI'm studying to be a vet tech and I'm only 2 months in and I'm terrified of my future. This was a last minute decision for me because I was originally supposed to go to an art school prior to this. This career path would give me more opportunities than having an art degree would. But I learned that this was more of a people job than animal job and I'm no where near improving my social skills. Im also not good at the technical skills and I just hate that I put in more effort to catch up with everyone. I feel like I didn't think things through but there's no other choice left for me. I thought about the things I like—art and animals so that's why it was my next choice. nnI heard that the work environment is extremely toxic (like most) and people are just snobby and stuck up. Dealing with clients who blame your for their animals' health and possibly getting you fired scares me. If I'm not good at the basics of social interaction, how in the world can I deal with a toxic environment. nnI heard that vet techs have a high suicide rate too but I'm already thinking about killing myself because of the workload I have and feeling so alone. I don't remember how many mental breakdowns I had. I really hate that I made this decision because this weighs on me everyday and I don't know what to do.
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But I understand that art isn't making you more money than being a vet tech right?nnArtists can burn out too, and work environments can be toxic as well.nnYou seem to fear the future based on a feeling that you won't be able to survive as a vet tech. Is that the impression you get from vet techs you have spoken to?
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And by event I mean anything really. Like I'll be nervous for classes starting but once I'm there I'm fine and having a good time. I don't really feel anxious in the moment. nnThe thing is when it's not something like classes or work I have to go to, I often overthink and talk myself out of going to anything that's optional due to social anxiety even when I know I'll most likely be fine if I just go. nnAnyone else expietnce this?
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True
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Hi! I (18f) have been struggling with my mental health for a few years. I was always in abusive relationships that made me lose my self and my self esteem and now that is all projecting on my new relationship with a great guy who is supporting me but right now i have messed things so much that he will stop trying for us. nnI lie. I am trying to become what he wants and sometimes i lie. I am jealous and insecure and now he is staring to feel that way. I know for a fact i am an asshole. I try to fix things by lying. I am trying so f-ing hard to make it work because i love him.nnHe met me to his family and friends and i have slept over many times and he things he contributes more to our relationship than i do. But my dad (like all dads) is kinda weird with my boyfriend since im his little girl. And i do not have the same relationship that he has with his aunts and uncles. And my parents aren't always absent and he can't just come and spend the night. But this past week my parents happened to work the night shift together but i totally forgot and forgot to invite over my boyfriend. And he got a bit irritated by it but i lied saying i did think about it when in fact i did not and he caught up on me. nnI have been in such a bad state mentally. I don't have friends and nobody to talk to, I can't eat or sleep or even take care of myself and i am really going insane. I have no clue what i want to do with my life and I don't know if i want to live anymore. I am in so much pain knowing i am thw toxic one. Please help me with what to do!!
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Eventually your dad/dads won't be part of this relationship blocking you nthey will be protective and sometimes overly protective as well, listening to them is definitely okay but in the end, it's still your choice whether to be with your boyfriend based on what they tell you and what you see and feel from your perspective. nnnHonestly my partner sounds quite a bit like you, they have had bad past experiences so they can be very worried about me cheating on them or jealous of me being around friends instead of them. nFrom my perspective, I'm very understanding and patient with them, we have talks where they can say whatever is on their mind and absolutely yes, they do tell me when they feel jealous and I make sure to tell them how I feel too, even if it's not something they want to hear. nIf I want to spend time with my friends I will, it doesn't mean they mean any less to me in the slightest and I make sure to tell them that. nYou will probably have to get used to it if you believe it's harmless and it'll get easier for you too. Some people take it too far though and tries to take advantage of it, you should still put your foot down if you ever feel like this is the case. nI can definitely hang out with my friends when I want, I also definitely expect my partner to call me out if I do it too often for their liking or if I put it as a priority such as cancelling plans already promised to be with my friends.nn nBe open, be honest, be understanding, be patient, all of these will definitely help the relationship if both of you give each other the same treatment. Fixing things with lies is very temporary and might cause more problems later, better to avoid them when you can. nnnAre they afraid I'll ever cheat? Absolutely, it's just something that always kinds of stick in their head due to their past relations but they've told me in the past how jealous they can be so I make sure to do everything they'd want me to do as their faithful partner. nif you do have concerns about your boyfriend doing this, ask them while being understanding, they should be able to tell you a truthful answer since there's nothing to hide right? nCommunication is key and understanding each other best, you both love each other very much from the sounds of it, both of you have to keep that balance of putting effort into the relationship or else it'll collapse. nI honestly don't expect the jealousy to go away from you or my partner, it's a nagging feeling that might go away over time as you feel your bf is more reliable and can be trusted more, but I think a small part of you will always worry, it's just important to keep that in mind while also thinking of the reality of things. nnnYou probably have lots of questions in your mind, how will I know they're the right one? How will I know this won't be like the past relationships? nYou don't, it is something you'll have to see for yourself, just make sure you're not blinded by love, their actions should be the ones putting your mind at ease on if they're actually cheating or not or taking advantage of you possibly. nnnFrom my point of view since my partner sounds similar to you. nI expect you to take care of yourself, not for them, but for you. nI'd still want you to be the happiest you can and that includes making sure you're doing just that. nI'm sorry if you feel like you don't have any friends or people to talk to about these things or what you want to do, you're more than free to message me if you want to talk to get some things off of your mind. nI'd also recommend you don't label yourself as 'the toxic one' nYou deserve better than to degrade yourself, you're both a team and you both should be doing your very best to do so. Improvement takes time, getting over jealousy might take longer but I know you can do it, just give yourself that chance to show how much you're capable of and any additional chances you need. As long as you believe you can put in the effort, you'll always keep improving slowly but surely.
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Does anybody get sorta stressed out when they post an opinion on reddit that may be kinda unpopular but just wanna say it to have fun... and then like 100 people shit on you and make fun of you? I find that very stressful, it's like it messes up my social calibration.nnThis type of thing rarely happens in
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Good call on your last sentence. Everyone on reddit has to always seem like a know-it-all but in reality they're just the same dummies you see every day in real life. Their opinions really don't matter, unless they're productive and help you.nnAnd to make you feel better, I have literally no idea what
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Lately, I've been joining Discord servers focused on mental health and social anxiety. However, upon joining most servers, even if someone welcomes me, I'll say hi back and the conversation ends there. Great, I talked to a stranger, but that's about as far as I get. I'm too scared to continue the conversation or talk to people, I don't even know how to.
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Yeah, that's true. Even if the person I'm talking to knows about my social anxiety, I'll still be nervous around them. I need to learn to be comfortable with people.
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We are bombarded non stop with this despicable thoughts about ourself, self-judgments, failures and what not. We listen to it, take it seriously and try to control this beast. We are walking with someone who non-stop criticizes us and still never doubt the mind. Is any of it useful, has any of this chatter helped? What if we distrust the thoughts coming to us, dismiss them as BS. As we may do when we constantly get crap from someone. We wouldn't continue to associate with this person. A negative thought about ourself appears, we see through it,
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I really like this. The truth is that a lack of self-love or self-worth is at the bottom of a lot of this, in my opinion.nnThough, to take this a step further, part of what I realized in therapy is that I was rejecting myself at my very core. Even these thoughts that pop up in your head are what compromise
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Title
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You've discovered the polar opposite of social anxiety: narcissism. Neither method of thought is healthy. What's healthy is recognizing you are exactly equal to others. I mean it sounds cliche but it is true. You have exactly the same value and permission to freely do as you please as anyone else you see walking around. I mean to a point, not anything creepy or illegal lol. I think my point is made
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I am 19F, why do I always feel apologetic is it natural that you think you are bothering people?
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You sound so learned. No matter how young or old you we are we still learn off each other.
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Oof that was not my intention. It's great to learn to create boundaries but this experience is gonna be implanted in my brain forever lol. (It was my best friend too)
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I started getting reassurance.
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I am married. I live with my children, husband and mother in law. We have a great relationship. But, often times I feel myself going into a jealous state when my husband and mother in law share memories, or when my mother i law compares my children to my husband like they are little him's. I lost both of my parents at 11 from a tragic event. I never though this would be a issue, but as of lately. I feel separated, unknown, unheard, frustrated and lonely. I know a lot of times it's my thoughts that cause me to be and feel separated. I just don't know what to pray, or do. They treat me well, and honestly I know there is no wrong doing. I know it's me, but I don't know what I should do? If you read this, thank you. If you have any advice thank you. Have a great one.
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You should not give advice, you didn't learn anything from it.
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So I've decided to combat social anxiety by putting myself out there as much as possible. There's a friend who seems friendly however she's told me she's done stuff like witchcraft and she's on anti depression meds and she almost committed suicide not too long ago. I know I promised myself to meet as many people but should I really meet this person to improve my social skill particularly around women?
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Honestly, I would say that you need to do whats best for you. If you have a bad feeling about it I would trust your instincts and stay away from her.
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I took a steak knife & hacked at my left wrist. Its very bad. I am having mental health concerns & dont know what to do. Please help ASAPA
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My life evidently doesn't matter & I'll always be alone.
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So I'm in 8th grade so it might not sound that serious to some but it is when colleges start to look at stuff sometimes. Anyway the end of our 1st semester is coming up and we have our quarterlies coming up (2 this week that I know of) and my little sister just tested positive for COVID and because of the fact that I'm a very close contact I can't go to school the rest of the week. Just found out and I'm hyperventilating and crying and my moms freaking out and crying (she has mental health issues too) anyway I just really needed to say things to someone. Will it get better? Cause I feel so selfish and family have told me such and I feel so stupid.
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Thank you so much, it made me feel a life better. :)
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How do I die?
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What a horrible teacher.
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Massive sarcasm there. nnSo, my husband is a pastor. Luckily he understands my social anxiety and doesn't make me go to church with him every week, but I try to make an appearance at least once a month or so. I get to play the pastors wife, all
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Thanks. :). Yeah I just keep a smile plastered on my face, so hopefully they just think I'm nice and shy. I've never been a huge fan of church either...you're right, it feels like you have to be perfect and happy and everyone is judging you. Luckily my husbands churches are very small, so there's maybe a dozen people there which isn't too bad. Not fun though.
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I don't know how many of you can relate to how I'm feeling right now. I feel like I'll never be capable of doing things that the society expects me to do. Like outgoing, being confident, assertive, or whatever. No matter how hard I try, it is hard for me to change or start being that person they all want me to be! I feel like I'm left alone and I don't fit in this fucking society anymore. I feel like just moving into the woods and start living by myself. I'm not blowing my own horn, but I'm good at what I do, BUT IT IS SO HARD FOR ME TO CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT I'M CAPABLE OF DOING THINGS. People treat me like I'm less of a human being, like, this is fucking unfair. Does anyone else relate?
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Ok, I'm dense, lol
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Like not opening up much, not sharing much beyond surface level, etc. nnHas it ever happened where you felt like you lost a friend or pushed someone away because of it?
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Right on brother. Solid song, thx for sharing.nnOne i like now is Alesso - City of Dreams.nnA few weeks ago i told my coworker i like taylor swift, never wouldve been able to do that before.nnI feel like sharing more about yourself opens you up more and allows ppl to get to know u, so thats one thing ive been working on.
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To most people I think leaving the house is an incredibly simple task but it's something I've struggled with for years. My senior year of highschool I missed over 70 days of class because I either couldn't bring myself to go or would go get anxious and decide to just bail. I had gotten much better about this over the past couple of years but then corona happened. All my classes are online now for the foreseeable future and my job was shutdown due to the virus so I'm living off unemployment for now which means there is nothing that forces me to leave my house. However today I had to mail a package and there was no way for me to get it out without going to the post office. I paced around my house for probably 2 hours before I finally mustered up the courage got in my car and drove down there and honestly it wasn't that bad I was pretty anxious on the way there but after I actually arrived it went smoothly and I was actually a little happy to be driving listening to music on my way home. I know this story is incredibly small and lame but to me it felt major and I had nobody to share it with.
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Victory!!!! ud83dudc4fud83dudc4f Congrats!!!!
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I was planning on going to a concert halloween night & got the ticket months in advance, I was/still am excited for it! The only problem is I'd be going alone, since I don't really have any friends. nnIt's been eating at me since October started & now that it's only a week away I'm really considering just missing out & staying home. The amount of anxiety I feel is unreal. It's pretty embarrassing & I keep thinking about how other people would think of me being there, like I don't fit in with the crowd kinda thing. It just makes me feel like a loser that I have no one to bond with over things I enjoy, I really don't want to be in a crowd of friend groups by myself, I feel like regardless I won't be able to have fun. nnI feel so frustrated with myself right now. I'm honestly considering just trying to sell the ticket last minute, I'm sure someone would buy it &amp; at least I wouldn't have to lose out on my money too.
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Go for it. You will have fun. You won't be the only one by yourself there.
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I just wanted to say if you feel like you don't remember anything anymore, there's only darkness. can't remember you're past. Maybe only
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Thank you, this is how I have been feeling lately and it scares me.
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What would your life be like?nnYou wake up one day and.you no longer have anxiety.nnWhat is that like?nnWhat are you able to do?
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Cliche but i would be more succesful. Because i hate to promote my works. I dont have that courage to share my writings and other artworks. I dont like building networks for work and etc. I cant want help for anything for myself.
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Someone with a broken leg wouldn't get made to run a race yet I get made to stand in front of the class for 15 minutes and talk. When you say you have anxiety people are just like u201coh well suck it upu201d it doesn't work like that, it stops me from physically being able to do things...
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Lol, I would rather be assigned partners, but almost nobody in my school is like that. Fuck me for not wanting to be left out.
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I attended a couple of job interviews that I was terrified of and got a job! I think it's important to celebrate any wins, and this has given me a little more confidence that I'm finding so helpful. nnI want to hear about your recent achievements, no matter what they are! Let's celebrate each other!
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Got my first job at the ripe age of 24 and started on meds
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So I'm at a social gathering right now (Christmas Eve, smh) and I uhh drank a decent amount of whiskey. Now I'm really sleepy, and definitely less talkative than I'd normally be >.<
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You type just fine though
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Has anyone watched Nathan Fielder's new show The Rehearsal? As someone with SAD, i've never felt so seen and called out in my life haha. I told my partner it's exactly what my brain looks like. The ending of the first episode almost had me in tears. It makes me wonder if Nathan has social anxiety too.
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Yeah I made a post about this yesterday. I 'rehearse' as well, but obviously on a much smaller scale. Conversations, driving, parking. So much brain power wasted on this, and seeing it taken to an extreme helps you realize how fruitless it can be. nnKor turned around looking at the pizza stand for minutes was so excruciating. And then the rehearsal where strangers around him started making fun of him was so relatable. I don't think they ever say 'anxiety' and definitely not 'social anxiety', but the show encapsulated so well. I think it's definitely something you can tell people to watch to help them understand what this shit feels like.
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Lately it's dawned on me that my children are getting older and are no longer at the baby or even toddler stage anymore. They are full on little people and changing at an alarming rate every day it seems. They remember stuff and answer back and do all the things you'd expect of kids their ages.nnI didn't particularly enjoy the baby stage, I didn't hate it either and have lots of happy memories of them from when they were that small, being able to carry them in my arms being a particular favourite, but I also remember times where I found it quite hard and looking forward to when they were a little more independent.nnNow when I think of them being that small, or if a memory pops up on Facebook or something I nearly always feel overcome with emotion and burst into tears. I'll remember random events like going to get their first pair of shoes, or taking them to the farm, or their first day of pre school. I don't know what it is but lately this is happening more and I'm wondering if it could be a manifestation of my anxiety and depression or if it's just a thing parents go through sometimes. I daren't look at old photos of them because I may never be able to stop crying! I'm trying not to cry whilst writing this post. I feel a bit silly, I know parents get all gooey over that stuff but I feel like I'm so sensitive to it at the moment. It's almost like I'm terrified that my kids will grow up too fast and I won't get to enjoy them enough.
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Happens to me on the daily ud83eudd37ud83cudffcu200du2640ufe0f
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Every time I look in the mirror, I see my body and I can tell myself that's my body, but I feel like it's not. I feel like I'm a floating head. nI know it's because I'm feeling an immense amount of different emotions. Stress, grief, sadness, anxiety, anger, etc. nHow do I control this and get back into my own body? I go to the gym every other day. On the days I don't go, I'm life guarding or doing some other form on physical activity. nWhat can I do?
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I've been told that and I've experienced disassociation. Just never to this extent. Sometimes when it gets really bad, I feel like I'm just trapped inside my head. Kinda like when you're in a dream and you realize that it's a dream. nIt's mostly just that I've disconnected myself from the rest of my body. My face I can recognize, but when I see the rest of myself in the mirror, it's like I'm staring at someone else.
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I hope this post is allowed, I didn't see anything against it in the sidebar. nnI'm just wondering, because I've been taking them for a few months and it's amazing.. they stop adrenaline, basically. nnAt least for me, my anxiety has always been mostly physical in its manifestation. Meaning, I would get physical symptoms as soon as something felt scary - rapid heart beat, sweating, blushing, unable to formulate thoughts for speaking.. then those symptoms would override my logical
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Ha, 50 mg metoprolol ER
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I'm always thinking how my life would be without the SA. I've wondered how'd it be having no SA having had it in the past.
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I wouldn't expect you to get downvoted for this at all. It's really admirable to be able to stand for something and speak about it to the world. nnI'd have the same type of goal, being able to spread a meaningful message about something I really care about.
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Should I continue trying or should I stop trying? What do anyone think about this?
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I think context matters. It helps to think about what your motivations and goals are.
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if so how
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You will never fully overcome it but it comes to a point where you are jus more comfortable in social situations, idk how it happens for me, probably putting myself out there, but lately I've found myself able to talk in class confidently and even help out my classmates, huge steps for me
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Does it take you awhile to fall asleep?. Do you wake up too early or have trouble getting back to sleep?. Do you toss and turn and have lots of wierd stress/OCD- type dreams?. Do you feel yucky and kind of
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I've always been able to function off of 6 hours of sleep. Ssri are messing with my sleep big time. I now just get 4 solid hours of sleep then spend the entire rest of the day very tired but unable to sleep during the day time.
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Texting makes me so nervous, even with people I'm comfortable with. My brother sent me a message like an hour ago asking if I had seen the ad for some new game. Even though I'm comfortable with my brother, I can't text him back? I know exactly what I'd say if we were talking in person.
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Ugh I get this so much >.< I've left so many texts, emails, facebook messages unanswered and then I am just wracked with guilt when I think back on them.
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I've been suffering with anxiety and depression pretty much my whole life. I finally got help and went on antidepressants a couple months ago. It helped a lot and calmed my mind down in ways I never knew possible. I was in a good place, working while balancing hobbies, routine etc. nFor a couple of years I've wanted to perform pilgrimage. It's a spiritual thing and you basically spend 2 to 3 weeks overseas just focusing on that and it also is kind of a holiday I guess. After months of back and forth some family of mine agreed to go with me. I was excited, tried to keep my expectations normal because I genuinely wanted this to change me for the better. nI did it, I went and it was honestly not great. I expected more joy out of it than I got. I got sick for all 3 weeks, it was hard sharing room with family and I genuinely was so suicidal for the majority of the trip. nI just wanted to go back home. I really, really tried. Everyday I would tell myself I need to enjoy this more, or it's not as bad as my mind is making it out to be.. I just need to reset. Nothing worked. I'm finally home and I think I'm even more depressed and suicidal. nnAnd now I'm at a point where.. I can't even enjoy a holiday or something that was supposed to spiritually uplift me. I feel so empty and broken. nIt's really messing with my head because I genuinely don't know what I want or even need anymore
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That makes a lot of sense. I really thought it would be good for me to get a change of scenery but I don't think I was ready, plus yes I was with people I'm not very close with and it took a lot of energy to interact and keep up with them. That's really good advice! Thanks for the reply
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I need advice I'm lowkey ranting too because idk who else I can talk to about this since I can't afford insurance..... so I haven't had a consistent job.... like ever I'm 20 about to be 21 and I'm a homeless black woman . I'm not lazy I promise!! I love to keep myself busy I would love to work if only I could have a job where there was no authority over me and I also don't have to talk to anyone . nUnfortunately since I'm a high school drop out (due to anxiety) I can't get a decent job I have to take what what I can get.... also i am really bad at interviews since I have UNCONTROLLABLE shaking and sweating that happens when I'm nevrvous . So once I do get a job I try my hardest to stay but eventually after about a month in I can't take the faking and holding in tears anymore .. the panic attacks begin... panic attacks where the main reason I dropped out of school. I'm at a point where I can't even build up the courage for interviews anymore ud83dude29the longest I've had a job was 3 months and that was years ago . I'm very tired of struggling and being homeless but I can't work due to my social anxiety making me physically sick !!! Any advice on what a broke woman with no family or friends should do In a situation like this would be much appreciated ud83eudd70 like any tips on how to overcome social anxiety or how to find a job where I don't have to interact with people
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Even if you find a job where you don't have to interact with people, you would still have to interview for it. If you would qualify for social welfare of any kind, look into it to get medicine for your anxiety.
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Took me three hours but I did it!
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Ey well done. Now I feel beta for even writing to my therapist when I ran out of meds.
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I thought so too.nI thought that online friends are useless and a waste of timennLast november, I was in a bad state. Depressed, annoyed at how my life is turning out, disappointed that my irl friends, werent friends at all, and they were a negative influence. I had nobody. nnI didn't care about anything tbh, i ate unhealthy, done nothing all day, long story short i was at my lowest point in lifenI also had social anxiety.nnI met a certain person on league. We started talking, about all kinds of things, we would stay up all night and talk about things, life, relationships, loss... I figured this would only last a short while, a week at least. So i kept my distance, never got too close, oh by the way when i say 'talk', I meant type - I was too nervous to even consider using a microphone or speak to someone, this person gave na lot of joy in life, and hope, and gave me the determination to move out of my low point, to be a better person, more confident, and more expressive, this person also taught me that:n n being myself, is enough.nn7 months later, we are still as close as can benand it has been the best time of my life, truly. About 2 months ago, I got enough confidence to start using a microphone, and talking to people.nThis person will be visiting me in a few months, for league of legends worlds championships quarter finals, and I can't wait.nnWhat im saying is, an online friend girl gave me more than any real life friend or family has EVER given me, and that's love. Not in the romantic sense, but... a love for life.n
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I understand that completely, kinda resonates with me too, the only difference is, in the past year I've gotten to meet some really nice people, ones that have changed me so much for the better, I'm glad you are feeling happy, and I hope you continue to be so !
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So I'm not sure if this is just a weird thing I experience, but sometimes just randomly at work or with friends someone might break into song and will look straight at me while doing it. It makes me feel super awkward, especially since I don't tend to even know what they're singing majority of the time. nnLike, do they expect me to sing along with them? Or do they want me to talk about whatever song they're singing? I just don't understand why some people do that.nnAnd some times it's even during a conversation with someone. They're the weirdest and most awkward times.
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I mean, it doesn't piss me off like it does for other people in the comments. It just makes me feel super awkward that's all. I guess why you do it makes sense.
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Hello everyone. I've always had a huge fear of eating in front of people but now I want to overcome it so i'm looking at the possible reasons behind my nervousness. nFirst of all, something I think is related to that, is that I have misophonia. It's a disorder which makes you react violently to some sounds. For me that's the sound of chewing. I hate it so much and for some reason, I've always gotten super irritated when someone was eating near me, especially my uncle who lives with us and chews on nuts EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! It's so loud and it drives me crazy. I've found people eating disgusting and also the biting part triggers me. But mostly the sound and the way people (me included) look when eating. nEating with my family is pure torture and having to endure the pain of people chewing around me and making me extremely upset and furious... Having this disorder, I expect the same for me, that people feel the same way and I don't want to make them suffer too so I am too afraid to eat and I always feel anxious and guilty when chewing normally because I don't want people around me to get angry, even though I know no one with misophonia, I still expect it from the others... Maybe that's a possible reason behind me being afraid to eat in front of them. I don't want to ruin their mood and torture them...nnThe second reason I can think of is that my older cousin has always been criticising the way I eat, back then from my childhood. And told me I eat like a pig and has embarrassed me in front of my father this way. And we used to have dinner together everyday so they've been telling me that for years. nI can't take it anymore. I really want to overcome my social anxiety and learn to eat in front of people... When I'm with my father I am not afraid but when I'm outside I just try not to eat until i go home and I'm underweight because of that. Also when I eat (very rarely) I take extremely small bites and it takes me forever to eat a simple sandwich. And I'm extra careful about chewing silently and everything... which ruins all my concentration on food and pleasure of eating. nThese are my triggers, fears and causes. If someone can offer a solution or some experience, I will be so glad...
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Hi, i have the exact same problem which also keeps me from socializing..ehmm..let‘s dm
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I think I'm all 3
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Meaning it's hard to find a therapist for social anxiety?
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#UPDATE TWO, 1/11/22: nnNever ended up taking the heavyduty anti-anxiety meds. I went to an acupuncture appointment yesterday and my chest pain/heart palpitations are MUCH improved!! I felt like a layer of me that was vibrating outside of myself calmed down and fell back into my body. I felt my body become heavy, and felt so grounded. A feeling of calm and confidence that I have lacked for so long, descended back into me.nnFor the acupuncture session and for hours after, I had no palpitations at all. When I did get a couple around bedtime while lying down, they were much reduced in severity and frequency. I slept early and got hours and hours of sleep, was able to get up at 6:30AM and meditate this morning.nnMy morning has been calm even though I'm at work. There is a little chest pain and squeaky tinnitus (yesterday the pain was the worst its been and tinnitus randomly returned, like I had off-and-on when longhauling last February). But the symptoms are much less.nn#I have another acupuncture appointment in February. Highly recommend!!nnn#UPDATE 12/21: nnAlas…I made an appointment w/ a different dr because mine had a family emergency come up. I didn't want to wait for an appointment in January. So…I went to this other dr and he didn't agree to do the dDimer blood test or POTS test…he said first the anxiety has to be resolved and then can tackle symptoms. So…idk. I feel nervous.nn#Was prescribed an anti-anxiety medication. I guess I can try it…side effects include dizziness, nausea and fatigue…:/nnn#Original PostnnDoes this happen to anyone else? Maybe it's post-Covid, maybe it's post-vaccine, but...I've been having bad chest pains/heart palpitations, even stayed up one night from how fast my heart was racing. I've been taking herbal medicines, got a doctor appointment, etc. But my heart tested fine back in June when the palpitations started increasing. Edit: the palpitations decreased for a couple months and I thought I was ok, but after thanksgiving they've gotten bad again. The worst is when my heart races for no reason. nn#What do you do to prevent/slow down the heart palpitations?
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Thank you and wow your therapist is kindof a badass for yelling at that dr! In my book, at least. nnI'm hoping when I see my regular dr in January I can get a dDimer test and POTS test finally.
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Hi all,nnI have been going through probably the most stressful time of my life for the past 2 months. Literally every day since the 2nd of September I have been thinking I am dying. Researching any physical symptom I have and then focusing on it. I must spend about 6/7 hours a day researching and checking my body to the point I think I find something new everyday. nnIt has got to the point where on the weekend where I am not working I just sit in a chair all day and stare out the window wondering when I will be told the bad news and to the point where my relationship with my girlfriend and child is suffering as I am barely communicating other than to talk with my partner about my symptoms.nnShe is adamant that the symptoms are from chronic stress and says no person would function properly after 2 months of stress thinking they are dying and still now thinking the same thing.nnI feel like I am outside my body most of the time, like floating around. I find it very difficult to concentrate or find enjoyment in any activity.nnDoes this sound familiar to anyone?
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Yea, i have this too. It's called Health Anxiety. Check out r/healthanxiety there are LOTS of people who feel this. nA couple things that are helping me, is to see my Dr for a physical/annual check up with full panel bloodwork (to give me a peace of mind my body is somewhat ok) & group therapy for anxiety. What works for me, may not work for you, but check out the sub-reddit above to get ideas of what works for others also. nYou are definitely not alone! It's really a sucky feeling, I hate it, I'm taking this semester off to deal with it, but again, it's a fairly common issue with anxiety. nHope this eases your mind a tiny bit :)
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I currently started CBT therapy over the phone so it will just be a voice call. Will this still be as effective compared to if I visited the therapist in person or even over video call?
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Maybe at first its not as important, but later on you might need the therapist to force you into some uncomfortable situations in person. nnIn person therapy is good practice for over coming anxious situations as well. I felt anxious several times before I got completely comfortable with meeting. nnDoes this therapist do exposure therapy? Im not 100 percent sure if cbt therapy does that, lol. nnYou can start off over the phone of course, but at some point you need to move on to webcam, and finally in person.
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Title
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For anyone here, EMDR basically overnight alleviated a lot of my social anxiety. Not all of it, but a great deal of it.
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I feel like I can't really point to one thing but perhaps there was one. What about you?
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I think my narcissistic dad caused it. He would ask us to not speak to anyone cs it will take away attention from studies. He made me give back a gift my friend gave me. Like can you believe that. Ugh
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While I have been a long-time sufferer of social anxiety and depression, I wanted to share a certain incident that happened to me about two months ago. Keep in mind, I've never told this to anyone, even my parents.nnSo about two months ago, I was coming home from a coffee shop on a leisurely Sunday night on my Kawasaki. About a mile away from home, this idiot of a motorcyclist cuts me off at high speed, with respect to my own pace, and causes me to squeeze on the brakes hard. In response, my bike fishtails and I go down sliding with the bike at about 35 to 40 miles per hour in the opposite lane. With my luck, however, the other lane was empty at that time of night, and my motorcycle jacket basically prevented my shoulder and elbow from turning into corned beef. nnI was able to ride away with a nothing more than busted riding gear and an eviscerated ego.nnEver since I got the bike all fixed up and ready to go, however, my anxiety has skyrocketed to the point where every time I see my motorcycle sitting in the garage, my heart rate goes crazy and my brain goes out of its way to discourage me from going out again and running into another idiot in a car or on a bike. I felt my own mortality like electricity through my fingers, and the sobering realization hit me that the next time I leave my garage on that two-wheeled machine, I might not come back, ever.nnSo yeah, it's been two months since death slyly winked at me from a distance. Depression and anxiety is at an all time high from my lack of friends ever since I graduated from college, and my career is something of a dead-end, if not something that seems to be getting more stressful by the year. I figured that by sharing this, I would at least feel like I'm part of a group that understands me, even if in real life, I'm always a lone wolf who despises crowds yet at the same time longs for acceptance.nnPeace, my friends.
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Motorcycles are dangerous... well other motorists are dangerous to motorcycles. That was a close call and it sounds like it killed that u201cnothing will happen to meu201d state of mind for you. Close calls will do that. It sounds like you may be dealing with a little ptsd from the accident. I'm not a therapist but I would suggest seeking one out to help you work through this. I'm also the lone wolf type. I have one person I spend the majority of my time with and he's a lone wolf type, too. We are introverts together. I hope you are able to find someone with whom you are comfortable lone wolfing with. Are you subscribed to r/depression, r/anxietyanddepression and r/anxiety? They are pretty solid communities and would love to hear from you. I'm glad the accident wasn't as bad as it could have been. I'm glad you are okay.
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Please distract me
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You can do this, I promise. I always find comfort in wrapping blankets tightly around me or sitting in small spaces. It's like there's another person there, somehow. Drink your water and remember that trees never leave their feelings behind (I have no idea what that was I'm so sorry)
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At 47, I don't remember any time in my life where I wasn't able to make friends anywhere with anyone. nnMy son (16) is the polar opposite. He's been diagnosed with general anxiety with ADHD and I suspect it's the reason he's been unable to make friends or maintain friendships. He's the kind who needs to be invited but he never initiates. I'm the type who can make lunch plans with a complete stranger at a bus stop.nnI keep telling him to do what I do, offer sincere compliments to random people when you see reason to. It's the easiest thing to do yet he completely shuts down around new people, especially obvious extroverted types.nnWhat does it feel like to be socially anxious and how can I help?nnEdit. Thanks all. Much appreciatednnnEdit: this is all making me tear up. Did I fuck up with my son by pushing him too hard? I'm constantly asking him to go out, even if it's by himself. Just go, find fun. Join a pick up game, meet someone at a coffee shop, etc.
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For me, it feels like shaking, sweating nonstop during uncomfortable social interactions, blushing, scared to make eye contact or talk, feeling so stressed and unhappy that you want to cry, or you feel wiped out and collapse in a chair after a social anxiety situation. I can't think straight or speak. My heart races. I feel alarmed by any urge to sneeze or sudden throat tickle. And it always seems to happen right when I'm around people. Or I get a nervous involuntary face twitch like in my chin or something. I am always distressed if my nose runs from cold weather and I absolutely have to wipe my nose cause I have cursed nostrils. It ismy worst fear to be seen wiping my nose and yet it happens all the time. I also have allergies. My eyes also seem to get easily irritated and water in public social situations. I guess in short social anxiety for me feels like experiencing my worst fear all the time without any relief. An unbearable exhausting fear like this extreme tension at your core and having to pretend you're chill and not actually dying inside while out in public. Maybe like say if you are scared of heights and everything is up high. The only way to get places is by crossing tightropes, and if you freak out people judge you. No one is scared of heights but you. That's the best analogy I can think of.
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I don't know how other people with SA got a job, but it's pretty clear that for me it won't ever happen as long as an interview is involved. Of course there's always going to be someone who is more sociable, more upbeat, more of a people person, more more more. I'm tired of trying to fit into a world that has no clue what is like living with an anxiety disorder and expects us to perform to the same level as someone healthy. It's horrible how the whole job market is so focused on how well you can talk even for jobs where you don't have to talk. It's so draining and I don't think anything will change.
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Agreed. Quality over quantity is the way to go.
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16M. People were having a discussion in the gc. Someone said they liked school, and I said
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Thanks for your kindness. Have a nice day/night ma'am!
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So what is it?
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Oh I love that idea! Thank you so much for bringing that up!!!
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I do, and can you share your story? It is interesting that we feel the same way but we have different reasons on why we experience these things
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I feel more lonely when I'm with a group of friends than just 1 or 2 friends. I think it's because...more the people are the more I feel scared to talk and hence I'll just decide not to talk. nnMeanwhile with just 1 friend it's like...either he speaks or me and also it's easier to have a conversation.
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Did I mess up with the co worker?nnThis week at my social work practicum, their is a lady who I work with at the food bank. She was agitated with things going on and she didn't look happy with me.nnLater she apologized and I told her I understand how things can be overwhelming.nnStill I thought maybe she could have communicated with me positively. I texted her, “I understand that I should have been more diligent, but I did feel like you could have positively communicated with me. I know that there is lot of stress, especially with the toys and hampers”nnShe texted me, “I will keep that in mind, I would like to put aside some time next week Wednesday so I can better understand your viewpoint!”nnI don't want any conflict, I admit I am a sensitive person and don't want to give anyone a hard time. nnNow I worry this is unnecessary
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You had a professional conversation and she's trying to be professional too
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My phone is pretty much a Reddit and YouTube device since I have no one to talk to.
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same here
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I don't know why i have to be so anxious. I'm going to a wedding this weekend, and I'm just trying to mentally prepare for the small talk and looking like i want to be there. Do i take a gift? I'm going with my parents and siblings, and i guess they got one for them. I don't understand weddings, why people want several dozen people there, all the extended family and every tom, dick and harry. I only want close family and friends also why do people always have some weird shit on the menu, at my wedding we gonna have great food not random posh shite. Like what do i say to the bride and groom? I barely know them, it's my cousin and his partner. Do i say well done or congrats or what or like enjoy your honey moon, but because i don't know them i don't know where they are going for it or anything, i don't know them and i don't get it.nnOn top of that i have to make loads of phone calls tomorrow at work, and i have a phobia of phonecalls. I usually manage to avoid them ie I'd only answer if the other peeps are busy or i the only one there. But I'd never choose to call someone. It's like i can't just say what i need to say, i have adhd, i like play out what im going to say before i say anything but always mess it up still. nnI have like 14 hours to get over my phobia of phone calls. Idk i just prefer face to face, i feel awkward on the phone, i think because there is more to communicating than just the audio, i miss hear stuff and forget stuff i was just told arghhhh fuck....help.....shit!!.....piss.....twat!!......fuck!
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Hmm i guess maybe thats why I'm always talking in different accents, much to the annoyance of my girlfriend lol, i do pretty good scouse, brummy, irish, scottish (can be hit or miss), australian, new Zealand, russian, german, Italian, south african, indian, chinese or maybe that's just something else lol. My gf has what she calls her work voice when talking to cashiers and waiters and workers and on the phone and at her work talking to customers, it sounds really weird though and i can't just switch like that, maybe I'll start impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger on the phone
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Never tried it, probably never will. I'm scared I'll become addicted lolnnI'm sure it doesn't work for everybody. But what is it like? Is it just like when you're with close friends or family? Just a little bit less anxious? Do you talk more? Dance in front of people? nnAlso I've always wondered how people (SA) say they had a good experience when you're still drunk? Do you remember?
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I'm not the person you asked, but I'm the same when under the influence of alcohol. nnnThinking about it makes me sad, but I've been told multiple times by people I know that they prefer my drunk self over my regular self.
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Is anyone else thriving during this whole Covid thing? nI've felt super relaxed by being at home more not having to be presentable for social engagements. When I walk my dog it feels great to not have to pass right by anyone. It's nice that it's ok and acceptable to put distance between you as you pass others. I've also enjoyed wearing a mask in public. I don't feel exposed. That's why in normal life I often wear a hat. It feels like social protection. Not having to hug people or shake hands has been awesome, too.nnI haven't felt this calm and collected in a very long time.nnI do want to note that you would never know I have social anxiety. Anyone who does find out that I do is baffled. I'm sure there are many others like me. People would be surprised to find out we constantly struggle.
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You have no idea how much I relate to this. I'm so sad it's ending. Our governor announced yesterday that we can now have non essential gatherings of up to 10 people and my heart sank. Tomorrow will be my first awkward get together in 10 wks...it's just so depressing. I live with all the beings I enjoy spending time with: 1 husband, 1 child, 1 cat. Every other interaction just eats into my home time.nnWhat about this: we wear a mask that says, u201cBE CAREFUL: IT'S NOT OVERu201d and rush from place to place with purpose so others assume we're just fearful of a tangible thing rather than dreading having to stop to talk to them with the heat of a thousand suns?
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