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Hi everyone, has anybody actually overcome social anxiety , i mean severe SA, and how ? thanks
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I'm trying too! I feel like my meds are really helping. It's all about exposure, even if it's just answering the door, that's progress!
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I feel like the way I sound when I am speaking is so much different when it comes out. As well as my general movements and stuff on recordings.nPresentations are a total nightmare for me. I hate and completely dread having it recorded too in front of other people and hear what I sound like to other people.nnA huge piece of me wants to just go mute.nI am heavily introverted type of person and my social skills are crap.
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I feel weird seeing myself in recordings too, but I try to convince myself that I look like any other random guy to other people's eyes. People often care too much about their own image to notice yours
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During my worst bouts of depression, I have a really hard time mustering up the motivation to make food. Sometimes I'll just feel perpetually nauseous and nothing sounds good, but other times I'll get up and look through the kitchen only to decide I don't have the energy to make anything. And when I say anything, I mean I don't even have the motivation to wash fruits/veggies and eat them raw. nnThis solution to this is probably an obvious one, but my brain fog is taking over and I'd love to hear what others have to say. ;
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Jeez! Thought it was just me! Sorry you're also going through it. Cannabis has been my saving grace.
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So, the title kinda explains it. Over the past few months, I spent my time studying abroad in Asia. Despite having a wicked case of social anxiety, I really wanted to get out there and see the world. And I did. Although my adventure was fantastic, I was faced several times with cases of sexual harassment. Recently, after being home for about a month, I've noticed that my social anxiety has gone through the roof. I get incredibly anxious and get wicked panic attacks over the idea of talking to anyone, whether they are a cashier, my dentist, or even my best friend. At this point, I cant tell if its SA or maybe something else that is causing my anxiety to go through the roof. nnHas anybody had an experience like this? If so, what helps? I was starting to get my social anxiety under control before I left, but now I'm right back to the beginning.
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I've seen a lot of SA come from bad boundaries and bad sense of self. Bad relationships in our childhood, not being considered our own people, not being given our own choices, leads to this spiral of not trusting ourselves, not trusting other people, and not being able to deal with the stressful things that happen to us.nnAnd this sounds a lot like what happens during sexual harassment. Dr Drew even talks about how a predator told him he can walk into a room and just pick out the girls that are good targets. The ones who are unsure of themselves, who don't have the skills/reaction to resist, the ones who just don't have a good sense of themselves as a person who that shouldn't happen to.nnI really suggest some therapy. It helps to learn how to safely and openly talk to someone, to learn how to set up boundaries and deal with people, and understanding why this feels the way it does.
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So i recently started college, i'ts been four years since i had a routine or studied (I've sufferd from social anxiety mainly as a teenager). Im 19 years old (Male)nnI've never had a relantioship before, barely talked to a girl during my life, and don't have many friends. Since i went to college i started making a few friends.nnEventually i started talking to this girl in my class (not often). but she was nice, and i think she was pretty. Those friends, i made, started telling me to ask her out. I eventually did. Even if she said no i would be happy because i would be facing my anxiety.nnShe said yes. I was happy and surprised, the day we were supposted to go out came, and she said she couldn't go, but wanted to go out on other day. So we decided go out on another day. On the friday i went and talked to her, and asked if she could go out in the weekend, she looked at me with a afraid look and said
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Thank you for the message, it made me think about alot of things, and realize a few others.nnI wish you the best, and once again thank you.
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I feel so lost. Confused. Completely lost my will to live. Don't feel like doing anything anymore. Play games? Meh. Walk my dog? Rather not, but I do it for him. Eat? No thanks. Drink? If I have to. Sleep? If there's nothing else. I'm not suicidal, but my passive death wish keeps returning and I don't know how to combat the thoughts anymore. Hell for the past week now I don't even know what I've been thinking anymore. I've had days like these before, but it's been going on so long now I don't know how to get out of it, if I even can anymore. I'm on so many meds and none of them seem to help anymore. I want to stop with all of them and just get a fresh start. I need help, and I've asked for it too, but even that isn't enough.nnThis is all just a long incoherent rant I know, thanks for reading. I'll add a question just so I can get some interaction.nnFor those of you who don't have a job, either permantently (like me) or temporarily, how do you fill your days? Mine just seem so empty and long and the time spent doing nothing seems to be filled my spiralling thoughts..
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Sorry for what you are going through and if you need a friend to talk with know I'll be very happy to be yours just send me i do need a friend too
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I'm a male, but my best friend (and only friend) is a female. I'm trying really hard to word this in a way that isn't offensive or sexist, but my friend is comfortable talking about her period and she openly says that she gets
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No problem, I try my best lol If she equally wants to make your friendship better, she'll be understanding. Good luck! I believe in you!
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If I never contacted anyone, i'm pretty sure only like 1 friend of mine would ever bother talking to me. I just kinda feel hated by almost everyone
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Same here. I always end up contacting people first because I get lonely. I wish I could make some real friends.
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Whenever I'm not wearing my glasses people say I look really tired or sometimes they think I have to black eyes. I get plenty of sleep but I doesn't matter. I've been to the doctor about it twice and they just said it's probably hereditary but I don't know anyone else who has it.nnI get incredibly paranoid without or even with glasses whenever I'm under a strong light in a dark room or right next to someone. I can't imagine being comfortable with eye contact up close to someone without becoming very anxious.
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There will always be someone who will find it attractive or unattractive.
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I'm scared af to start back at school. PE is hell for me as I'm always getting shouted at by my classmates for not being good at sports, I feel humiliated, the teachers hate me they always shout at me. nnHas anyone else been through/gone through the same experience?
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How the hell did you do that???
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How do I get a fire inside of me to knuckle down and do what ever to take to achive my goal, not sure what I'm missing but I don't have that drive and tenacity and I want to know how to get that mind set
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My passion does not pay well but yeah I'm trying to learn but don't have the passion to sit there for 12 hours or study for it ( and my dyslexia fucking with me with that last sentence)
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curious. I feel like I'm the only teen here
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15
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The anxiety kicks in when I even think about driving. Not so much being scared of moving vehicles or crashing, I know how to drive and am competent. It's just that feeling of everyone watching you, and making one wrong mistake that other people notice (Well, don't but you know.)nnAnyways, if you've had similar issues, how do you help yourself get over it? It's to the point where I really need to get this fixed.
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PUSH your parents to take you driving everyday. When I was 15 I got my permit and was horrified of driving just like you. My dad took me out driving in a parking lot and I was horrified. It wasn't horrible, but I wasn't ready yet. However, instead of practicing more, he didn't take me out to drive until I mentioned it to him. I was as scared as you are so I never mentioned it once. I didn't drive behind the wheel after that for two solid years. I was scared to, and I figured my dad would make me drive. But nope. I started driving a few months before I turned 18 and got my license at 18. I love driving now and I trust myself behind the wheel more than anyone else. Get this out of the way now. My fears kept me from having a license for two years. Two years of summers stuck at home by myself, missing experiences in high school that I'll never get back, and regrets I'm stuck with today. Who knows, maybe I could have dated some of the girls I talked to during that time since I would have had a way to go see them. Instead, I didn't get my license and missed out on all of that. Don't let fear ruin your life as many do. Get out there and do it. If you expect someone else to push you to things, you'll never make it anywhere in life. Don't be like me. Get that license and have a life before you have to work full time.
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I have a two-hour break between my classes one day this semester, and in my town there is an excellent Korean restaurant. I figure it would be nice to get a booth or table in the back, order a few pots of tea and some appetizers/sushi, and work on my senior thesis project on my laptop. I'm worried that this might seem rude. Am I just being stupid, or is this actually unacceptable?nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/rwztti)
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It can only be rude if the restaurant is packed and there's people waitiing for tables.nnMost places are good to do this. I personally ove doing work in places were they bring you food!
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Just watched my entire office go to lunch. Everyone but me. I get that I'm not the life of the party, but I get along with everyone. How can people blatantly exclude someone and be complete oblivious to it? The organizer of the lunch literally stopped in my office and said hey. I did my best “small talk” and kept things as non-awkward as possible. He says “alright man, I'll see you later.” Cool. nnThen I overhear him stop next door and tell my coworker “we're all going to lunch. Want to go?” They walk by me again. And off they go. nnI just don't get it. I could never do that to someone. In situations where I'm the most influential in the group, I would never dare leave just one person out like that.
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Try and corner your leadership from time to time. Don't take up all their time in chats, but see if you can figure-out some hobbies and interests of theirs. Ask about their weekends, stuff like that. These are great ways to stand-out to your higher-ups and be in a more favourable position when promotions come around or shit hits the fan.nnYou might also just come to realize that they're pretty cool people!nnAnd for the
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So, this is not too typical of a post her, but still fits.nnI basically am looking into some input about what I can do, that would not seem to pressuring towards her. While also helping me with my social anxiety.nnGirl (20, possible social anxiety, as she did say
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>
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i think my anxiety is getting worse, i chickened out from doing any presentations or class activities i can't keep doing this because it's going to really affect my grades and I'm doing a course where i can't afford to not speak in front of my class. I just left an online class because the new professor was asking us to introduce ourselves. I wanted to face it but couldn't my hear rate kept rising and i left. As usual I'm feeling like shit right now, Idk how to deal with this
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Yeah, anxiety is a real bitch sometimes, I still have a really tough time with in-person presentations but if it's online and pretty much just audio I find writing down what I'm going to say makes it way easier because instead of stressing about having to talk at the same time trying to think of what I'm going to say, I just have to focus on reading out what I have written down and by the time you're done reading it's over.
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I used to hide in the bathroom or just walk around outside the school until class started again
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For a few years I would stay in my form room at lunch and do my homework. It was incredibly hard to sit by myself surrounded by many cliques, but I like to keep to a routine. In my last year, however, it just became too much, I felt like everyone was looking at me so I just spent the year hiding in the bathroom. nSchool is just the worst, isn't it?
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Everytime i google donny osmond/social anxiety, it only mentions interviews and how he felt living/coping with the anxiety...but no real details on what works for him. Sounds like he just lives with it, but i could be very wrong.nnI recall reading robert deniro either is very shy or has social anxiety. nnIs that true?nnAnybody else that is very famous who suffers? ( confirmed or admitted it...no rumors)
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I read Donny Osmond's autobiography that went into detail about dealing with social anxiety when it was at its peak in the mid 90's. It was so bad that he had to cancel performances because he felt like he was literally going to die when he went on stage. He also was deathly terrified of crowded places, especially shopping malls because in his mind he felt that everyone was looking at him or talking about him and making fun of him. nnHis manager or whoever was in charge of the theater company he was in at the time flew in a therapist that was well known for dealing with people with very intense anxiety. She basically was with him constantly for a few days, making him practice returning items at stores (which initially caused him to have a meltdown each time because he felt like the people at customer service would judge him for changing his mind on stuff.) His wife is also the main thing that keeps him calm. He mentioned that one time when he was having one of his anxiety attacks, she grabbed him and told him to just go on stage and be average for once, and apparently it was the best show he ever did because he allowed himself to make a mistake, therefore taking the pressure off of him. nnThis mostly stemmed from him being a major perfectionist, almost to the point of OCD and he's also a people-pleaser so he always felt awful if he ever made a mistake or did anything that could possibly make someone think ill of him. Plus, his career was pretty much non existent in the 80's and he was so afraid of losing it all again, and he felt that making a mistake would ruin everything and he'd be out of a job again.nnEssentially, it was the intense guidance of his therapist, and the constant comfort of his wife that had helped him. Donny says that he knows that his anxiety will never be cured, but in combination of finding the root of his anxiety, the great support of his family (mostly his wife) and the experience and knowledge that he has overcome his anxiety before, it doesn't bother him much anymore.
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It's why I don't have friends now nor a significant other.nn​nnI make one mistake and it's all over. My voice is too high pitched or low pitched. I say something wrong. I say something I didn't mean. I studder and it's all over. I can never be different to you. You will always see me this way no matter how much I change. I fear this because at this point I lost any GOOD or POSITIVE experiences I could've had with you. All the fun times we could've had are all gone. It's happened with so many people that I can't even speak at all. I'm too afraid of losing all of you within one second.
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Speaking high pitched because you're nervous, gaaaaah. I'm starting to feel I'm not fit for society, it's a struggle.
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those of you who have a girlfriend or boyfriend, how did you meet and decided to date? how do you handle conversations? do you feel natural around them or do awkward silences still happen? i'd feel so not at home having someone around me all the time. i'm into loner stuff like video games and anime, usually the romance kind, which i enjoy but am ashamed of liking. is there any habits or acitivities you had to get rid of because you'd fear they wouldn't approve of them?
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I would not recommend going about meeting someone the way I did but I met my boyfriend over the internet. He lives in the state next to mine. We were friends for about 5 months and officially became a couple in December 2018. I kept him a secret from my family because they believed that everyone on the internet was either a serial killer or a pedophile. I ended up telling my family about it a week after we started dating because I knew that was the only chance the relationship had of working out. nOver the course of 2019, we met up in person 3 times. I was super anxious and uncomfortable during our first meeting but I calmed down after spending a few hours with him in person. Over the the course of 2019, I became more comfortable talking to him and being with him in person. He's now become the love of my life and I feel the I could talk about anything with him without backlash of any kind. Ironically, he feels like the person I'm closest to eventhough he's the furthest away from me physically. The only thing I don't like about our relationship is the fact he's so far away, but hopefully that will change in next couple of years. I guess if you just find the right person for you love will blossom.
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I mean, I think I have a pretty likable personality. And I only say this because I end up becoming really good friends with everyone who's forced to get to know me. I have a really good relationship with my roommates and coworkers, but that's only because they were forced to spend enough time around me that I was able to get comfortable around them and let my guard down so that they could meet the real me. I always end up being a completely different person than I was when they first met me.nnI could never do something like dating because I simply can't open up to a person that quickly. It takes weeks or months. Not one or two days. I just don't know how to make friends because I gotta have an excuse to continually see someone before any sort of relationship can even form, and I don't think many people care to continually hang out with someone who speaks like two sentences max..
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Wow, I've never read something that was so accurate to my life. But I do think the right people will see and understand that and give you that time. I definitely still struggle with it a lot too, but I have managed to make a few friends where I had to admit to them how difficult it is for me to open up to people and they were willing to stick around. I've had some really beautiful relationships come from that, and even managed to find a boyfriend who wanted to stick around and get to know me even though I was super shy in the beginning. It isn't impossible :)
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it's not that i'm sicidal i just can't handle the burden of doing things anymore. i'm falling behind and i can't seem to ever catch up. i'm exhausted but no matter how much sleep i get i'm always going to wake up tired. i live each day as the same and i feel like i'm being used and hated and i walk through life hating myself. i don't want to live just so i can finally catch a break from the constant exhaustion that comes with living. i'm stuck and i don't know how to get out please help me
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Idk if this helps but it least you're not alone
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Hey guys, I've always had a history of low self esteem, self hatred and gen anxiety. I am currently dealing with a breakup, I have no contact with that person anymore but we had a good closure. Still, I can't stop ruminating and it's driving me insane. I am feeling guilt, regret and it's making me hate myself more. Did therapy or medication ever helped you? I am already trying to get a hold of a therapist, they are so hard to find, it's depressing.
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I feel blessed to receive many advice on here! It's unbelievable to see how many of us share the same feeling of pain and loss yet somehow we recover from it. Thank you guys for sharing your stories, I don't feel alone.
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I have been diagnosed with autism and adhd when I was like around 6, but obviously I didn't need mental help then, but I noticed that I have severe aggressive outbursts at most times, it feels like I can barely control myself when I'm at a certain point, it's been happening more and more often, I talked to my mom about getting me therapy for my anger problems and she was like 'oh if you REALLY need help with your anger you should be locked up' so that ruined my trust with asking my parents for mental help, I still want help but I have no idea who to go to, recently I had an outburst and I broke my phone, and I had to go home from school early because I didn't think I was able to continue the day, I've been starting to want to hurt myself because I feel horrible whenever I have an outburst
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he screams at me alot pressuring me to do homework, my mom has cursed me out several times and called me a 'disgusting pig' then when I confront her about problems her defense is ''It's because i'm a bad mother!'
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Or is it too much to ask?
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omg being laughed at is one of the most humiliating and horrifying experience when you have social anxiety. i work in retail and every time i do something awkward (especially when i'm attempting to socialize) and somebody smiles/laughs, it makes me feel like i'm a small child that adults are laughing at because of my attempt to be a real grown up. its very invalidating. i don't have any advice, it's just comforting to know that someone else experiences this. still holding onto hope it will get better:)
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I'm Asian and I've always felt more nervous and less comfortable when talking to people of other races. I think it grew on me since I was little, because I noticed that my parents (who were not born in America) are kind of the same way. But once I meet someone new who's Asian, I feel so much more calm and less tense; I don't have a problem talking to them, or worrying that I might say something stupid. Does anyone know an effective way to change this?
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I think this is pretty common. You feel more comfortable around people of your own culture. And a lot of the time that coincides with race. For most people, most of their friends are the same race as they are. nnActually, it goes beyond culture and race. Notice most people end up having the majority of their friends be of the same or similar: race, culture, gender, education level, income level.nnIf it's something that happy, well adjusted people are unconsciously doing, I don't necessarily see it as something you should change. Unless you are actually downright terrified of non-asian people or can't interact with them on a decent level, I don't see what the big deal is. nnIf you want to change yourself, I guess gentle exposure is the way to go. Try to occasionally find yourself in places (clubs, sports, parties, charities, classes) where there are well-intentioned and nice non-asian people.nnMy girlfriend is Chinese, and so are all of her friends. I still feel pretty self-conscious about hanging out with them, I don't always know what to say and I'm often afraid to really be myself. She feels the same way about my friends, who are all white nerds. We're working on it though.
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Like not opening up much, not sharing much beyond surface level, etc. nnHas it ever happened where you felt like you lost a friend or pushed someone away because of it?
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Absolutely it's why I much prefer being anxious alone than with others. I tend to get wrapped up in my own head when I'm anxious and end up not being there for my friends physically or emotionally. I've recognized it though and have been much better at it. It just takes practice and even transparency with friends
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I've known that I have social anxiety for about a year now, but just yesterday I stumbled across the (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism) on selective mutism. At first glance it didn't really register that it had any relevance to me, but really looking at the symptoms, too many of them fit me.nnThe main characteristic is a failure to talk, and just completely shutting down in social situations. I remember in high school days when I would go the entire day without saying a single word (pretty crazy looking back). Additionally, I can talk perfectly normally around my mom, but when I'm in social situations, although I can talk, I self-sabotage my voice to mutter, talk really soft and deep, speed things up too much, stutter sometimes, and go to great lengths to hide my true voice.nnOther symptoms, from the (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_mutism):n> Besides lack of speech, other common behaviors and characteristics displayed by selectively mute people include:nn> - Difficulty maintaining eye contactn- Blank expression and reluctance to smilen- Stiff and awkward movementsn- Difficulty expressing feelings, even to family membersn- Excessive shyness, fear of social embarrassment, and/or social isolation and withdrawaln- Tendency to worry more than most people of the same agen- Desire for routine and dislike of changesn- Sensitivity to noise and crowdsn- Moodinessn- Sleep problemsnn> On the positive side, many sufferers have:nn> - Above-average intelligence, perception, or inquisitivenessn- Creativity and a love for art or musicn- Empathy and sensitivity to others' thoughts and feelingsn- A strong sense of right and wrong
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@_@ This describes me too well.....
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I feel like I could do so much better at everything but I'm limited by my anxiety and finding motivation to do things is hard. Ugh why!!!!! This is so frustrating. Does anyone else feel this way?
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You are NOT a failure. You are a beautiful part of existence. And I love you for who you are already .nnYour only mission is to be free, smart, kind and happy. That is all I want from you damn it .
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For example: you know how if you're about to swear in front of a 6 year old, you hesitate for a second, then give them that quick glance, then change what you were about to say? Adults still do that with me. They”ll tell me to cover my ears if they say something bad or “inappropriate” (for children). They hesitate to mention anything about sex or “adult” topics, and they always glance at me when they hesitate.nnI'm 19, I'll be 20 in a couple months. I am an adult. But I have no social skills and I behave so awkwardly that they can't see me as an adult. My coworkers do it, my family does it, even people who are my own age or a bit younger do it to me. I feel so left out all the time, I don't know how it feels to be part of a group like normal people.
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You're 19. People aren't going to see you as an adult for a while. Appreciate it while you can homie.
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I have social anxiety and depression. It's a little difficult for me to go out and get food sometimes, especially on days when I'm extra nervous like today. I haven't eaten that much today, so I ordered chinese food off of doordash.nnI live in a university residence area, and I have ordered food off of doordash several times prior to this. These are my instructions.nn​nn(https://preview.redd.it/is2hdsjxlxe51.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=e8ab66b6463eb306874eab421802b660ecab2f73)nnThe doordash guy called me and spoke quite loudly and angrily to me saying he couldn't find my building. He sounded a bit drunk. I was so stunned and scared, and apologized and told him there is a sign that says
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try not to be so hard on yourself. i drive for doordash and you went above and beyond with your delivery notes. fuck him, if hes too dumb to figure out where building 6 is he deserves a bad rating. not your fault, shit happens.nnthis post made me tear up because i know how you must feel and you don't deserve to feel that way.
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I swear, when it comes to people I know, like close friends and family, I have no problem talking and showing my emotions, but when it comes to people I haven't met or barely know, I have a tendency to go mind blank, give short answers and responses and just seem really robotic. Even my mom mentioned i do this so it's definitely noticeable to others
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Oh definitely. All of it. Far improved now. But the old
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My social anxiety doesn't allow me to be social. Wich of course depresses me and makes me feel like I'm worthless. But that feeling is moving to my hobbies, things that I'm supposed to be good at but I don't feel it like that anymore. nI play (or used to play) the electric guitar. Since music was a way to express myself or vent, it's getting more and more difficult to find inspiration, passion or interest on coming back to those 8 strings.nI don't know I just feel like I'm trash and I just should not play.
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Absolutely!
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Hi. My name is justin. Im 21 years old from north carolina. My life has hit rock bottom. Im trying to find out who i want to be in my life. I used crystal meth for around a year. I lost my wife, my friends, my house, my dogs, all my possessions, my focus, and i lost myself. Ive never been in this state of life before. I just want friends. To help me in this time of need. People to just talk to to help me cope. That I've made mistakes and thats what life is about. Im no better or less than you. Im 5 days clean. And ill never return to my past life again. If you want someone to talk to, maybe even help you cope with your struggles of everyday life. Someone to battle this stage of loneliness that we cant help but to find ourselves in. Send me a message. Besides that. I play guitar. I love listening to music. I love to walk, with no destination in mind. Just to think on a deeper level about my soul, mistakes, and achievements. I want to produce music one day. To become an outlet to people who need help finding their selves too one day. I love to smoke weed and kick back with friends. After getting this evil out of my system. Seeing what it does to a person psychologically. I understand how insignificant our lives are in this vast endless plane of reality; beyond anyone's comprehension or understanding. I care about my friends (IF I HAD ONE) very deeply. I care about people living their lives knowing they can count on at least one person. I use to play videogames a lot. I like to do things outside. Anything else you'll have to find out for yourself. I doubt ill even make one friend. But i still thank anyone who reads this. And maybe change how they see something that's going on in their live. I hope everyone loves their self. They find happiness. And they feel. Thank you. Love you all u2764nEdit for this subreddit. I have chronic depression. Anxiety. Ptsd. Bipolar. Ive been dealing with real problems inside since i was 13. So i really understand.
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Awww, you're so inspiring :)
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Every single thing in my life I should be grateful for feels like it's rented or not mine in a sense. I can't feel happiness from barely anything. The only thing that brings me fulfilment is my work, I overwork myself just to dodge that sad feeling of emptiness when I leave the office to my everyday life. I feel I can't accept things from other people, I need to do everything from scratch or I feel useless and dumb. It's just sad living this way
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Do you think that seeing a mental health professional is useful. That is the best bet in your situation and things DO improve.
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Has anybody ever told you u201c your speaking gibberish ?Does anybody speak gibberish ? What do you say that's gibberish? When did you first learn about gibberish?
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I think that's a mean excuse people say to you when they can't or won't lisen to you
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I can't. I have social anxiety, and when it comes to girls, even girls I'm not attracted to, i can't be natural and comfortable.
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No, and I don't know why. Heck, I can't even talk to people from the same gender.
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I (17F) work at a restaurant as a server, and it's pretty anxiety-provoking. I constantly feel like I'm being watched or judged, even when there are no customers around. I start to feel very hot and sweaty. I get very self-conscious of how I'm walking, and I feel like my gait is awkward and unnatural. My hands start to shake, and I find it hard to breathe. It feels like my head is spinning as thoughts race rapidly through my mind. I start to experience these uncomfortable feelings when I first arrive at the restaurant, when I am the only person in the dining area. I start to feel sick even before I begin to interact with customers. I've tried to focus in on the task at hand, such as cleaning tables, or taking a sip of cold water, but nothing seems to work. I feel like time is the only thing that eases my anxiety; after I've been working for a couple hours, I usually start to feel less anxious. I have to work a 12-hour shift tomorrow, and I've been dreading it more than usual. My coworkers are extremely nice, and I love working with them, so I push myself to go to work and try my best. I know that I can't avoid situations that make me uncomfortable, but I just really don't want to feel the overwhelming anxiety that accompanies my time at work. I'm posting this disorganized rant to ask for any advice or suggestions that could help me get through work tomorrow. Thanks!
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I've worked in an overcrowded pub so I can relate and you have my full support. In stressful situations, I just focused on thinking positively and breathe. Not the biggest advice, but it's normal to be clumsy at first (and even with experience, you can always break something). So don't be hard on yourself :) it's a difficult job but it will get easier and easier with practice. Good luck for today <3
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Is it just me?
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I spend a lot of time daydreaming and prefer to do things that leave my mind free to wander. Walks are good for that. I wouldn't say I'm happier alone, but definitely more comfortable. At least to start. Sometimes social activities aren't as bad after you get going with them.
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I decided to try microdosing psyllicibin because of all the benefits I've read about. It's suppose to help with depression, ADHD, social anxiety etc and I figured what have I got to lose? nnI'm a stay at home mom so I don't have much opportunity to socialize aside from the bus stop before and after school with my kids. nUsually I stand apart from the other moms who are chit-chatting, unless they talk to me directly. nWhen they do talk to me I feel so uncomfortable, my mind goes blank and I just don't know how to engage or express my personality.nAlso I have resting bitch face so I become hyper aware of what my face is doing, like I'm not making the appropriate expressions. I feel self conscious that I'm smiling too much because I'm worried I appear to be scowling. Its super distracting and I struggle to pay attention to what the person is saying.nnI started microdosing last week. I take an imperceptible dose (.13g) every 3 days. I've taken 4 doses over the last couple weeks and I can already see the difference in how much more comfortable I feel in those few minutes of interacting with the other moms. nI was able to interact and respond and it didn't feel like totally agony. nI had a two way conversation and was able to keep the conversation going, ask questions and I wasn't distracted or self conscious. nnIdk if microdosing psyllicibin is an option for everyone but its been a positive experience so far in regards to socializing. It's still a work in progress but I'm incredibly encouraged by the results so far. nnFYI I got started in my research on the r/microdosing sub. Researched for about a month before I was able to get supply to get started.
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Lol if doctors prescribed it it wouldn't be considered a class a illegal drug
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Counselors and doctors always ask if I have a safe place to go and I answer yes. But idk where to go when I'm the threat.
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I'm just living with my parents right now, but they're strongly conservative Christian and I'm a bisexual democrat so they firmly believe I'm going to hell, on top of the fact that they're both emotionally abusive, so it's not the best living situation. I've been considering other options but considering Covid, and how emotionally vulnerable I am right now, I don't have a whole lot of ideas :/
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everyone thinks i'm weird and off-beat. when i talk they back away and make distance from me, and i feel instantly rejected. it's like everyone else is on the same wave-length and i'm this misshapen piece of uncooked dough that never should've made it out the oven. the friends i have made were also social rejects. i love them and appreciate them, but wonder why i can't make friends with
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They are too serious, their clenched assholes changes there resonance frequency from yours and you just gotta tune yourself over and over until your otherwise nonchalance shines through or something
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I'm a 19 yr old M,have been working out for months at home with bodyweight and resistance bands to improve on myself and be the best version I can,want to start early morning jogging so I can achieve the physique I want but am getting like really bad social anxiety cause I feel like people will be staring at me and making fun of me when I start jogging. Any tips or suggestions to overcome this?
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Yeah that makes sense cause I won't be distracted by external things
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10+ years locked inside my fucking house , never had a friend , never had a GF , never DID nothing that would be normal for people at my age! I literaly lost all my childhood and youth because of that FUCKING DISEASE! I did everything that a human could possible do to try to get better but looks like is impossible to my fucking brain become normal , even with a shit ton of meds , therapy etc! What the FUCK i do? I have 0 Social Skills , shake like a little bitch around people , get intimidated even by a 5 years old kid , blush all the time and feel useless!
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I don't see 'you' in the text. Everything you want, you want from from outside. I don't see you accepting yourself in the first place. It's time to stop going with the flow. You are an entity whose validity is maintained by you only, start with accepting the way you look from head to toe, your basic nature, and etc. Come to a conclusion about yourself as a brand, and stick to it. Be curious about yourself, and with a rational mind and confidence take yourself out in public. It's a short life, why do you care about people? If you stop expecting good response from people, you will stop yourself from expecting validation and confirmation from others.
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I'm (16F) a lifeguard, and my sister (C) works at the snack bar at the same pool. One of my coworkers (J) has a brother (P) who also works there too. Anyway, C and P were working together Friday afternoon. I arrived at 4 pm (when my shift started), the end of their shift. J was there to pick up P. He was talking to P through the window. I stopped by quickly to say hi to my sister.nnOn Saturday, my dad said that C told him that J was making really snarky comments about me once I left that afternoon (J had not previously known that C is my sister). One example is about me doing jazzercise. My dad said J was like (rudely), “yeah and she wants us to go to jazzercise…” For context, I have invited my friends/coworkers to come with me. However, that is only if they want to. I would never force anyone to do it. It sounded like J was making fun of my passion. Apparently it was a very short conversation, but I was still infuriated. I was more upset that J made my sister uncomfortable. My dad said she was upset for me and that J was saying these things. This isn't the first time he's judged people like this, though, making it a little easier for me to bear. Anyway, I felt betrayed and humiliated (I liked him as a friend). I sent him a dm telling him off (even though my dad didn't want me to), mainly for irking C. This, however, is where things get complicated. nnSo my dad and I had this conversation Saturday when C was gone. When she and my mom came home, my dad told them I was upset. The two of them were confused. C came downstairs (I was hiding away playing on my switch) to talk to me about it. She said that what my dad said wasn't true. Apparently J said all the things my dad said he said, but not judgingly. I realize now that J wasn't trying to cause any trouble when talking to C. Still, there was one thing I wish he hadn't shared with her. There was an extended family argument (not involving me) (my parents vs my aunt) that I briefly mentioned to another lifeguard. J must have overheard me. Apparently he asked C “is it true that there was a fight in your family over…?” I like to keep my relationships (and conversations) outside of the family private (the reason for this is complicated), so as I already said, I wish J hadn't asked her this. nnOn one hand, I now regret sending J the dm. I should've just kept quiet until I talked to C about it. On the other hand, I want him to know that I don't want him talking about my family to others (in order to avoid situations like this). Even though I chose to share some things, I never intended for them to be spread, even to my own family. Anyway, he read the dm but has not yet responded. I'm not expecting him to right now; he apparently has the flu. He's probably confused, considering he really didn't do anything wrong. I don't know how he'll react, but I just hope this doesn't ruin things between us for good. It would suck to go the rest of the summer with this kind of tension between us.nnI'm worried that he may tell other people about this and my reputation there will be ruined (even though it was a harmless mistake). I'm very stressed and it's been hard to enjoy myself and go about my daily life ever since. :(
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Should I still text him one more time? I've already texted twice (first to accusing him, second time to apologize for the accusation)…
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how can people be so cruel IM SUFFERING
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They do. They either can't read the signs or just honestly don't know how you feel. Voice it to them though. There's no need to feel like that when there's a world out here. Somebody will listen
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curious. I feel like I'm the only teen here
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Sam3
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Can't help but constantly weird and like that annoying person. Like the person everyone tolerates? Not sure if its my social anxiety or just me legitimately being a weird or awful person.
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Don't know you so just guessing but I think a lot of it comes down to people reading the non-verbal and verbal cues that we subconsciously put out - if you give the impression (intentionally or otherwise) that you have low confidence in yourself, that you see yourself as beneath other people, then a lot of people I think just take your word for it subconsciously. nnHow do you fix that? Don't really know tbh, it's different for everyone I guess but I expect lots of hard work is required, whether it's therapy, meditation, medication, or whatever it is that works for you. Well that may be one piece of the puzzle anyway. Maybe you're just hanging around the wrong people. One of the hardest parts about life is figuring out what you're good at, what kinds of people you get along with and enjoy being around, where you fit into society (we all can, it's just a lot easier for some than others). Figure out what's best for you, not just what's u2018best' and then try to force a square into a circle hole.
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I thought some of you might be interested to hear about my self experimentation with phenibut. Phenibut is a chemical that has been shown to have anxiolytic (anti-anxiety) effects. Many people have said that it has helped them with their social anxiety. So I have decided to do some blind experiments to see what effect it has on me in social situations. Below you can read the results of my first experiment, and how it affected me socially.nn= About Phenibut =nnPhenibut is a chemical that crosses the blood brain barrier and binds to certain receptors in the brain that affect how calm you feel. People claim that phenibut lowers anxiety, promotes better sleep, and potentially enhances cognitive function. It is currently sold as a dietary supplement in most countries. So it's easy to obtain, but can be quite expensive.nnThe downsides of phenibut are that you can build up tolerance very quickly. It can also be addictive, and stopping suddenly can lead to withdrawal symptoms like increased anxiety. For these reasons I will not be taking it regularly, and never more than once a week.nn= About Me =nnI am a guy in my 30s. I've had social anxiety my whole life. At points it has been bad enough that I have been unable to leave my flat for months.nnI recently split up with my long term partner. She was my only friend and I relied on her for everything. This is the first time I've had to live alone. This has forced me to start working on my anxiety. Over the last year I've improved to the point where I can now go to bars, restaurants, shops, hairdressers, gyms, dentists and things like that, none of which I could do before. I am also starting to get better at talking on the phone, which is a big issue for me.nnWhilst I've improved a lot, I'm still not a happy person. I still have no friends and I feel like I've plateaued. I'm more comfortable with talking to people when I need something (i.e. ordering at a bar), but I still find it difficult to have a more general conversation with people. I never know what to say, and my words always come out jumbled. I'm struggling to improve that. Which is why I've turned to phenibut. I hoping it will give me a small push to get over this current hurdle.nn= Methodology =nnI bought 50g of phenibut in powder form from the internet. It claims 100% pharma grade powder.nnI took two size-00 gelatin capsules, and colored one with a blue sharpie on the inside (I worried I might be able to taste it on the outside). I put a scoop of maltodextrin (basically sugar) in the blue capsule (which then weighed 0.3g). I put a scoop of phenibut in the clear capsule (weighed between 0.3g and 0.4g). I then put both capsules in a cup and shook them around. I did a couple of practice runs to make sure I was picking at random. Then I looked away and blindly selected one of them to take. I put the cup with the other capsule in the cupboard where I couldn't see it.nn= Experiment Log #1 =nnI took my first capsule on friday night (30/1/2015). I took it blind so I didn't know if I was actually taking phenibut or a sugar pill. I then made regular notes during the course of the evening to log how I was feeling. You can read these below.nnDuring the day (before taking the capsule) my mood was very up and down. I'd been stressing about my life, and lots of mixed emotions about my ex. Little bit of panic. Fairly tired and unfocused as well. So that was my starting state.nn18:00 - Taken capsule with a glass of water. Slightly weird taste in my mouth, so i think i might have taken the phenibut and didn't clean the capsule off enough. Alternatively, there might just have been some on my fingers.nn18:15 - Feeling a little more relaxed, but I doubt the capsule has dissolved yet. I was quite excited about doing this experiment, so it might just be the novelty wearing off.nn18:30 - Still fairly relaxed, but not overly so. Would be disappointed if this was the full extent of the phenibut. Just about to go out for food.nn18:45 - Saw my neighbors on the way out. Said
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(#120 lbs = 54.4 kgn
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Am I the only one who gets physically stiff and uncomfortable when I'm in a public place with people I'm uncomfortable with?
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That's super common with SA. It happens to me at least 5-10 times a day while I'm at work when the customers act pushy or rude.
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Hi there, I don't have much social anxiety but I always a little bit scared to talk first. When the conversation started I have no desire to speak. I feel I am like a
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What was Effexor like? I wonder if viibryd could potentially be helpful? I'm same same, the only thing that helps and keeps me me is klonopin
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I grew up with social anxiety. Technically, I still have it, I guess, but it rarely bugs me the way it used to. And there's a reason for that. I used to try social tactics to get over it, but they almost never worked.nnSee, I realized that I couldn't even use these tactics (like focusing on people's faces or deep breathing) because I was frequently on edge beforehand. The background noise made it almost impossible to focus.nnBut I eventually started doing some other techniques, like meditation (and yes, if you're not careful, meditation can actually stress you out even more), that I did to prepare for social situations. I'm thinking about writing some articles on it. Would people be interested?
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Please share! :)
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a little backstory: i take chemistry online but go to lab in person once a week. we typically work by ourselves due to covid. i was absent for last week's lab after my cat died and now i'm so behind. i went to class today and spoke with my teacher and asked what i should do. she told me to make a group with some students to catch up and that's where i blanked.nnmy heart started racing and my thoughts just flew out the window. i just walked back to my desk, packed up everything, and left. this class is crucial for my major, and once again i fucked up because of my inability to speak with people. i've dropped so many classes due to my social anxiety. my dad said i need to get over my fear of speaking with others, and my mom just completely blew up on me, telling me i better start looking for a job since i'm
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I would say ignore the group thing and only talk to a single person. Do you have anyones phone number, or other contact info. Maybe it's easier to ask like that. nnAndif you want, ask them to send you their notes or something. That would explain why you have asked like that.
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Hello there! nnnI'm Shaqalito, but you can call me Shaq. nI'm a very genuine and outgoing guy, and I love talking, spending time with and helping socially anxious, awkward and shy people.nnMy closest friends are socially anxious, so I'm very comprehensive and understanding of how it feels and how hard it is to face it. I love them for who they are though and they're the best friends I've ever had. Absolute gold of human beings. And this is what I've found to be the case for a lot of socially anxious, shy and awkward people.nnI just want to say that, if you want someone who you are sure it's going to be safe to experience and try to face your anxiety with, I'm always there. I'm very patient and kind, and will always make sure you're not far out your comfort zone, and you're always within your boundaries.nnI can really just spend time with you, without talking if you're uncomfortable with that. We can listen to music, I can listen to you talk about your day or just about how you feel about your life and yourself. I won't ever judge you for anything, I know that we're all different and have different lives and experiences. Just know that I will always, always make sure you're alright. nnnIf at any point you want to stop talking to me or leave, don't even apologize or try to explain yourself. I know. And I won't be mad, sad or upset. nnnIf you wish to talk to me or spend some time with me, here is my discord: Shaqalito#0001. nFeel free to DM me on reddit too. nnnHave a wonderful and safe day <3.
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I get what you're saying. I'm really not trying to advertise the fact I helped people in the past, I just figured that if I could reassure on my knowledge and intentions, it would be by showing that I'm not randomly posting this, and that I do have experiences that relate to social anxiety. And again, I know how it feels, I was too. I couldn't even go out.nnThough I really want to say it's not about advertising or bragging, I just want to reassure by showing, well I know what I'm saying and I love to help people that are in the place I once was.nI always promised to myself that I would be the person I would've needed, for others. So here I am. nnAnd it's not just
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Hi all,nnI moved to a different country when I was about 17 and obviously have an accent. It's quite a thick accent. I'm so ashamed about it. It's what's causing most, if not all, of my social anxiety. I'm just so scared to talk to people. I'm scared to leave the house in case someone outside tries to talk to me. I'm scared of playing online games that require mics. I'm scared to job interviews because I have to speak and they'll hear my accent. I'm scared to cancel my credit card as I'll have to speak on the phone and they'll hear my accent. It's all because of my accent. I dream of what it would be like to sound like everyone else. I'd talk to everyone. I'd be able to be myself. I really think that if I didn't have an accent I would be completely normal. nnIs there anyone else here with a foreign accent? I'm just so ashamed. I've not really tried faking an accent yet. I'm too self-conscious that they'll know I'm faking it and then ask why I'm so insecure about using my real accent. nnMy life is hell.
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Hey, first of all I bet your accent is awesome :) I always feel like my speaking voice is boring because I don't have one! I also just wanted to put this out there: have you considered seeing a speech-language pathologist? Many of them work in accent reduction, and it may help you to feel more confident if you truly want to reduce your accent. Just an idea :)
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Just wondering if SA is mostly prevalent in younger adults and it goes away as you get older
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26 and yeah with me too
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I believe there are a number of medications that can be prescribed as treatment for social anxiety/social phobia. nnCan anyone here post their experiences with medication? i.e what medication you took and what the results were.
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hahha ok thank you very much
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I have friends, and family. I'm only 19, yet I feel so trapped. At work I feel motivated and have good chemistry with my colleagues. I'm afraid of becoming a workaholic. When I get home it's like my brain finally has time to punish me. Things that used to make me ecstatic only lightens the load momentarily these days. nnI rarely see my friends anymore, I love em', yet feel so little motivation to actually make contact. The existential dread is slowly killing me. Like a rope around my lungs. The knot in my chest never disappears. I've considered going to therapy (I'm not diagnosed with anything, so I would never actually claim to have anxiety or depression)nnBut I'm scared of the answer I'll get, I'm conflict shy and quiet around people I don't know, this makes it very difficult to expand my circle. I've had the same friend group since kindergarten, only expanding upon it in middle school. I've never had a girlfriend, all i have had are flings from years ago, but they don't even seem real since I can't seem to relate to the person I used to be. nnI apologize if I'm intruding upon those who actually have a diagnosed problem, but I couldn't find a subreddit that fit me better. I'm sorry if this ended up being a bit of a ramble, i just scribbled it down...nnShould I seek help?
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Agree with this %. The right therapist can do a world of good.
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In normal social situations I am super nervous and awkward and quiet but in interviews I force myself to be super talkative lol. The interviewers usually end up thinking I am a confident person but if I actually was hired they would slowly realise that I am actually super shy and anxious lol.
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I used to be afraid of ALL interactions too. I think transactional stuff got easier with practice and age once you realize that most of them follow a script. I still get tripped up when the other person goes off script and says something I wasn't expecting and I have to “freestyle”
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Maybe this is partly due to my all my moves and changing schools throughout elementary and middle school. Next year I'm going on to Gr. 10, and I'm just so tired of this every year. Hiding in the washroom to escape socializing, or my nonexistent social life. Having no partners in PE class when the numbers are odd. Sticking out like a sore thumb when I'm with a group of people. And, not to mention the teachers' pity on me.....nnI think when I went to this middle school in Gr. 6, I was thrown into a shock because I moved in the middle of the year. Also, I've never encountered 'groups' of friends that clump together, or the more popular people v.s. the 'others'. During that time it was when I slowly developed social anxiety, and a fear of socializing with others. Ever since then, to all the public places I go, I'm super self-conscious of myself. nnEven worse, my small private school only has a handful of people who I find hard to click with. This year I had a chance to switch to this large public school, but I decided not to because it seems too big of a risk. And maybe that's my problem. I'm scared of rejection. Anyway, thanks for reading this long post. Just wanted to get this off my chest.
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hey man thanks for sharing your experience. How does the self-consciousness show up for you? And how does it make you fear socializing with others?
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For me I had no SA until about 14-15 y/onn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/udo24p)
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It started during childhood, but I did not always have it. I distinctly remember developing it around d 8 years old, when I changed schools for the first time.
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Hey fellow SA goers,nnTo start I'm 21, suffer from terrible SA with meeting new people or any female that I haven't known for a while.nnFrom 15-20 I used drugs and alcohol to socialize and date etc. it took the edge out of talking and made me not overthink anything.nnMy last relationship was at the end of last year and I decided I needed to focus on my new career and my goal of buying my own house to have a furry friend as I had a dog that helped me with my anxiety issues but I moved back into my parents house and long story short, I no longer have him.nnAnyone I talk to says that the right girl will come into my life but in reality I don't see that happening. If I have to talk to anyone besides concerning work, I studder and can't make eye contact and apparently I talk to quite and mumble. Any girl I have tried to talk to has rejected me or I mess up talking to them due to my anxiety. I've tried using dating apps just to meet people but girls only use them to get a confidence booster knowing some guy somewhere is interested in them, and let's be honest.. I don't want to meet a girl over technology forcing the encounter.nnAll I do with my free time is play hockey, and any girl that I run into at hockey is not interested in talking to me besides 1-2 word responses. nnMy social anxiety is eating at me recently and all I do is stare at my phone at nights just wishing I had someone to just talk to, doesn't have to be a girl.. Just a friend that isn't on my hockey team to socialize with and try to work on my anxiety. But anyone I try to interact with thinks there's something wrong with me, but in reality once I open up and get comfortable with someone I'm a great person.nnAny social encounters I'm forced into (weddings, work meetings or gatherings, standing outside ice rink wth team talking to the team we just played etc) I'm always the one standing there frozen, listening into people's conversations and anytime I try to give my input no one hears me or its so awkward that they don't even respond.nThe other day an old gaming friend sent me a super long message over Facebook stating,
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I'm not in the same shoes when it comes to socialize with
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Hey guys, I'm a 18-year-old girl who's planning on going to university to study psychology soon. I'm not exactly sure on what I want to do yet but I think, if everything goes well, I'll end up working as a psychiatrist or psychologist, which is actually quite hilarious and ironic seeing as I have the most severe social anxiety ever and I could probably use some psychological help myself. nAnyway, I guess I just wanted to ask for some advice. Do any of you guys work as a psychiatrist or psychologist? If you do, how are anxious are you at work? Does the job require lots of social skills and communication?nIf you don't work as one, what job are you working currently and how stressful is it, in terms of social anxiety? Can anyone recommend me jobs that aren't super anxiety inducing and don't require much talking? Preferably slightly higher paying jobs. Originally, I wanted to be an artist as I'm quite artistic but I was talked out of it by my mum because of the supposedly low pay.
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A lot to unpack in this. I'm in tech but my gf is actually is thinking of switching to that field and has really bad anxiety.nnFirst, there is a caveat to everything: no one can really say “this is the experience you will have”. nnSecond, the higher up in pay you go (pay/corporate ladder,etc) the more emphasis added onto social skills and communication.nnThird, if you feel that you might need psychological help I'd recommend actively pursuing it. No downside to trying, plenty of downside for not.nnFourth, it's true that art can be difficult to break into but don't let your parents talk you out of a passion you haven't even really explored because of money. They mean well but unless they are artists themselves they don't know what they are talking about.nnFifth, picking a job to avoid an anxiety isn't a bad idea in your case but you have to pick something you also like. If you don't you will hate it, and I've see what actually hating your job can do to someone (it's not pretty)nnnnI'm not a anxious person, and honestly sometimes I work all day without talking to anyone which isn't a rare thing in tech depending on your focus and corporate environment.nnIf you want pay and the low social interaction you probably want a stem field. My sister was biochemist and would be in a lab all day with maybe 1 or 2 people…but she also had to teach a small classnnYou would probably do fine in a corporate environment, the social interaction is a lot stressful if you aren't communicating with customersnnEdit: a lot less stressful if not communicating with customers
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Two of my friends and i went to talk to a girl they knew. They began talking and i stayed silent the whole time. I felt left out. My mind felt blank I didn't know what to say. It was like 20 min and i stood there silent. I don't understand how people can talk about such boring things and find it pleasing somehow. They talked about where someone lives or where they work. It wad boring asf. Like i wanted to join the talk but it felt so Meaningless and i hate faking something so I didn't even try to talk. To me talking should be fun. But I've seen it before. Almost everyone is boring asf and its so pointless. I would much rather enjoy joking around being goofy and shit or have a conversation about something deep and interesting. I guess i need to learn to small talk.
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Small talk is the worst. I feel like my brain is dying. I know it is normal part of most interactions, but it feels like a waste of time to me.
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The work-from-home dream that is. Today I just got word we have a date in the next few months to come back to the office. In addition to that, our office is probably going to be relocated so my commute looks much longer.nnThe dread is setting in. I don't buy the argument that office work yields creativity and collaboration when contractors like us just do what the client tells us. This is all to keep us under the thumb of our corporate overlords and maximum productivity at the expense of more anxiety. nnAnyway that is my little rant. I will miss the comfort of my own space and privacy and find my work u201cfriendsu201d to be shallow, sometimes toxic, relationships. Anyone in the same boat?
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I totally relate on that flight-or-fight instinct being background noise. I remember when we were back in the office how I could tolerate it, but after a long day of work how it would really just drain me. After a commute and even more of that background noise at home (I have a roommate I can't really tolerate either), I can see the feeling getting old really fast. I definitely feel more productive not having to deal with it.nnAt the end of the day it really feels like an extrovert's world. The social events and stuff really cater to their need to energize from social contact. I try not to be cynical about extroverted people but I really can't connect either. I can totally relate on keeping contacts at work separate because it feels strange. There was a stretch of time I tried opening up to people about certain things and it definitely was not the setting. nnI hope after some time the social events will die down for ya and everybody gets back to business as usual. I find comfort in the boring corporate workflow so long as I'm not thrown the curve ball of telling other people about myself around a conference table.
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I've developed an (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greatbytes.antianxiety) to reduce social anxiety based on a study by the McNally Laboratory at Harvard University.nnnIt uses cognitive-bias modification (CBM) to train you to ignore negative stimuli that may otherwise cause you stress in social situations. CBM's approach is to change harmful thought patterns. Every individual perceives reality differently (e.g. glass half full vs. half empty), which is known as
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That looks pretty interesting, I'll check it out. Thanks!
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I'm just tired all the time. I just don't want to do anything, even the things I enjoy. I'm always jealous of people that just seem to awake emotionally and can just do stuff. Getting over that hill is hard.nBut seriously, how do people get decent feeling sleep, get up early, go to the gym, cleaning everyday, enjoy their job, able to cook a proper meal, do projects, hang out with friends.nI'm just so tired.
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This is exactly how I feel.
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So im very confused about these things.nnFirst off, i dont understand how positive self talk is supposed to help? Like im not the person i want to be, im not as interesting as i want to be im not as funny as i want to be, im not as attractive as i want to be, everything about me is basically shit. But how would positive self talk help this, like i would just fill myself with lies, and maybe believe that i am funny, when in reality i am not. It just seems stupid tbh, my therapist keeps telling me that its my anxiety making me a boring person, but i dont believe it, i think i just have a boring personality, i really dont see how me being scared of talking to people are making me boring, im sure its just the way i am.nnAlso the thing about thoughts just being thoughts and not reality is just not sitting right with me. nnSay for example im going to an event and i get thoughts that i will be awkward and unable to talk to anyone, how would it help me not believing those thoughts, when its the reality, i wont be able to talk to anyone, i dont have anything to say, im a boring pile of shit.nnIt just seems to stupid to pretend that i am good enough, when i really aint.
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I was skeptical to therapy too but it did help when I decided to give it a try even if it felt stupid and meaningless. I am still struggling ofc but we are all
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Whenever I get done socializing, I always worry my friends don't like me. I know no one on here can tell me if they do or not, but I figure if they really didn't like me they would have gently excluded me years ago. Does anyone have advice on how to cope with feeling insecure about your friend group?
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Thanks so much for taking the time to give such comprehensive advice, that really means a lot. I think what helps me is remembering that everyone has something to bring to the group, but you're right in that I don't really know what it is. We've been friends since elementary school, but we've all grown in such different directions, it's hard for me to find my place with them still. I will keep thinking about that though. Thank you again!
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Hey everyone, thank you for taking the time to read this. As the title says I'm very confused. Maybe someone shares the same experiences or thoughts as me and can help me or at least listen! nnSometimes I'm not sure about this diagnosis or maybe I'm just a weird person. I have the feeling my social anxiety only comes out in certain social environments or situations I think? Sorry if my English is not the best, it's not my mother language btw. nAt work I literally can't say a word to my coworkers, not if they did anything wrong nor can I say what's bothering me but I REALLY want to. It's always on my mind “Let's go, open your mouth!!l I'm quiet and take every task my boss gives me without hesitating although I might have too much to do already. I feel so small and it's like I can't stand up for myself. Same thing comes to people my age who I think are intimidating to me which are 90% in my opinion or so. It's the worst with authority figures though. nnBut why I'm questioning myself is because I can be extroverted sometimes, go out partying, talk to people without problems but NOT always. It's best when I'm drunk. I can even make jokes with them. When I see someone as less dominant than me (I hate this part) then it's easier for me to defend myself or say what's on my mind and then it can be so insensitive. It's mostly with romantic partners where I'm like this. I also had trouble doing presentations in front of the class. Most of the time I let my teachers gave me a bad grade just so I don't have to do a presentation. I'm not a shy person as well. I might be reserved at first but I'm definitely not shy. nnI'm so confused.. does anyone else experience this?
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Yeah definitely have that too, except mine is being able to talk to coworkers but struggling outside of that like at parties and things
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This is going to sound crazy but I've started finding it funny of my lack of social skills. This is obviously when I get home and play out the day but not during the actual convo. I've slightly improved as I don't get super anxious (just a little) but just don't have much to say. Can anyone else relate?
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I can change my downs into funny stories I sometimes tell with an ironic tune. nnAdventure Time creators would say my jokes are cries for help, but I am fine.
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Tonight it shall be me, my book of quotes, and a whole heap of maths work I need to get through. But meh, at least you know where you stand with numbers. nnWhat are you guys doing? nn
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I've said
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Could just be me, but when you and your best friend, the only person you actually talk to, decides to bring along their own friend who you don't know or get along with.nnWhenever my best friend does this I tend to be quiet and really annoyed deeply. I get even more upset when they don't talk to me. I guess I'm a bit spoiled to think that they should only have me as a friend and nobody else.nnLord I hate myself lmao
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I've felt like this ever since elementary school lol.nnSemi related story: hanging out with my then friend 1 (F1), another mutual friend, plus friend of F1 at my place. This is the first time meeting friend of F1. For weeks before this meet up, F1 and I were saying
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Got invited to some party by my friend. They ended up meeting with someone else as soon as we got there and I didn't know what to do or who to talk to. I found a random place to sit and stayed for about 15 minutes before I started feeling sick and lonely. Now I'm walking down the street to my apartment and crying.nnedit: I didn't expect this to get any attention but thank you all so much for the nice comments. My friend did check up on me after not being able to find me and that was really nice. I'm not open about my anxiety so it's not their fault that they didn't know. Regardless, it was my first party and I almost had an anxiety attack so I'm probably just gonna stay home from now on :P
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I'm really sorry you've gone thought that.
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Put a few beers in me and all of my self-conscious inhibitions are gone, I'm leading the group discussion, my happiness is infectious. I don't doubt or hesitate or stutter what I'm going to say next, in some ways, I sound verbally more intelligent. People who know me closely are pleasantly surprised when they see me like this.nnThe next day, sobered up, I become depressed, knowing what I accomplished the day before is impossible without my liquid friend.
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No your not.nnand that positive social-anxiety free feeling, is only temporary. Alcohol is not just a slippery slope, it's a damn landslide. I started off just like you, and I wish to god now, eleven years later, that I could quit drinking.nnSure, it frees you up, you get laid a few more times, everything seems better. But sooner or later, your happiness is gone, then you have to drink more just to feel normal, and your forever chasing that perfect high. People say it all the time, and You probably won't listen. Hell, I didn't.nnBut slow down. or stop now. while you can.
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I live with my boyfriend and his grandma and his family came over for Christmas. My own family lives across the country. I haven't socialized with anyone but him in two months. I'm feeling so anxious and his extremely extroverted sister just found out I like the same kind of music so they're doing everything they can to pressure me into talking with her and when I don't, it gets awkward. I just don't feel like doing this. I feel rude especially after they gave me gifts and all I wanna do is get out. I currently went upstairs to take a breather cause I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack. My boyfriend doesn't understand why his family makes me nervous and uncomfortable. They're great people with huge, unique personalities and that's WHY I can't. I don't want to disappoint them cause I'm just boring and awkward.
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I ended up taking a 20 minute break upstairs cause I felt a panic attack coming on. Unfortunately they were all just sitting around talking and I didn't want to single myself out so I just ended up toughing it out. I'll use your advice next time, hopefully I won't be as anxious.
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My coworker and I tried to replace our office printer's imaging drum using the manual but afterwards, it shows sensor failure. Now I cannot sleep because of my anxiety that I might have to shoulder replacement of the printer (i don't know how bad the damage is). I've contacted the technician but the soonest he can visit is 2 days from now. I tend to look at the worst case scenario so as not to get my hopes up and get crushed later on; which means I might pay for a new printer ud83eudd72nnI have the means (though it's a waste of savingsud83dude25) but i would rather suffer myself than be a bother to everyone, in this case, we cannot print documents because of my idiocy. I feel terrible and I'm afraid everyone will hate me or bully me. Now I cannot sleep, my anxiety is kicking in. i have just recently started my therapy but we are just in the process of identifying what's wrong with me. This may seem like a minor issue, i'm sorry i just don't know how to calm myself. I want to quit right away and never come back ud83dude2d
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Lmao. I've had such a similar experience. The printer at my first office job used to give me so much trouble because my entire job was basically printing on colored paper when everyone else had to print on white. I left the settings on colored paper and the boss basically interrogated me on whether I broke the printer but I kept telling her I hadn't used it in two days (which was true lmao she didn't know how to change the damn settings). Her assistant had to put in so many work orders until they figured it out and I basically got put on probation ( they cut my hours significantly so that I could only work under close supervision) based on a LIE ud83dude2d. Now I don't really care because I will never see this lady again and she was the one in the wrong IMO. nnI never got the chance to explain things to her because they never confronted me about why they cut my hours but I would cringe every time I had to use the printer after that day. The dinging gives me flashbacks ud83dude02nnJust apologize and buy them lunch or something if you feel so inclined. No reasonable workplace would make you pay for that. They don't need to know exactly what you did lol. nnIt'll blow over dude. You will soon look back and laugh like me
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Hi guys,nnJust have a quick question and wasn't able to find anything on it but I was wondering if anybodyu2018s tried the Olly Goodbye Stress gummies for their social anxiety and if so, whatu2018s your experience and how lasting are the effects after two gummies? I'm worried it might make me sluggish or drowsy. Also concerned if my social anxiety will increase during withdrawal periods. I know they don't specifically target social anxiety so that's why I'm asking /:nnThanks in advance!
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lol I ended up just buying them yesterday - they just kinda made me feel emotionally numb if that makes sense. I felt fine otherwise though but did feel like I didn't really care about things - not in a bad way though
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ncbi web site claims:n
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This feels like you're undermining the effort others have taken to combat their own social anxiety.nnI was officially diagnosed with social anxiety, generalized anxiety, and major depression about 5 years ago. I started seeing a psychotherapist who wasnt very helpful and two years ago I moved to seeing two different psychologists simultaneously. Since then I can say I've made major major steps, But it also has been a long journey and I think I have a long way to go still. I hope one day I can be part of that recovered %
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I realize the title sounds very “woe is me,” but that isn't my intention. Life just hasn't gone as planned since college- I'm now working to change these things. nnHowever, sometimes I feel like I'm the only person with all three of these problems. I've been scrolling through Reddit just trying to find other people who can relate, but I've only found posts by men. Are there any women my age or older in the same boat?
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25f, still living at home, currently unemployed, my only friend lives in a different state, and my only dating experience is with my current bf which is also long distance.
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Hi. I (F14) have an older u201chalfu201d sister (F20). I've always had a good relationship with her but when she stopped visiting my house the relationship dulled. But a couple years ago we reconnected and I consider her my best friend. She moved in with us recently because her mom died. Obviously this was a huge switch for me because I now had to share a room with her. nnI don't support her lifestyles like smoking weed or vaping because that's exactly what her mom died from and personally I don't appreciate her vaping and smoking in a space we share. As the months went on conflicts have continued but they are normally short and we will just move on in an hour. nnAn incident happened towards the beginning of our sharing a room where she took an important stuffed animal and would not give it back. Her bed space is very messy and dirty so I did not want the stuffed animal with her. I tried to get it back myself and decided to grab a pillow to defend myself and also to hopefully get my stuffed animal back. Well, the pillow had a lose pillow cover and my ipad was in it. I kept hitting her with the ipad knowing that at the time there was an ipad in the pillowcase. nnI didn't think there was anything wrong because she has hit me with things and punched and hurt me. I like play fighting and there were many instances before this where she would turn things into full fledged hitting brawls. I could not defend myself well in any of those fights because I had no experience with fighting. My sister was abused when she lived with her mom and was constantly fighting and facing abuse on the daily. I never truly realized this until she told the severity of the abuse. I did know a little bit about it though. nnWhen I was hitting her with the ipad she was not saying any words that would alarm me like ow or stop. I was under the impression everything was okay. The next time we get into a semi large fight she brings up the fighting with the ipad pillow and says how I literally attacked her and brought back old memories. I felt embarrassed because why didn't you tell me in the moment ? I apologized and since then I don't get into physical altercations with her that are provoked by me.nnNow whenever she provoked a fight between us, like tripping me, pretending to punch me, kicking me down, etc, and I get mad she brings the ipad pillow fight up. This fight has happened months ago and she still brings it up. I have apologized countless times and I don't know what to do. nnShe always wants to fight to the death with me and she always wins. I cannot take it.
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Does your parent know about this? This kind of physical fighting isn't part of a normal, healthy sibling relationship. Your sister seems very troubled and also abusive. Is she in therapy or getting any sort of mental help? The death of her mother must weigh on her a lot.
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If you were trying to describe SA to someone who has never heard of it before, in a couple sentences or less, how would you?
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In my case me trying to be social is kind of like trying to blow up a balloon inside a box that's too small. You blow more and more and you see that the balloon can get much bigger but the walls are restricting it so you eventually stop blowing it up.
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I'm feeling very alone right now and I don't know what to do. nnI have severe ADHD and I praticularly struggle with emotional regulation. I get so overwhelmed by my emotions everyday to the point where my brain shuts down almost completely and I feel like I might actually die from it. Like I start to think about a sad movie I watched the other day and next thing I know my heart feels like it's bring ripped put of my chest from the overwhelming sadness.nnI tried to explain that to my therapist, but she just said that's normal. That everyone goes through that and you can't control emotions. That I just need to be positive and find more hobbies. nnTo be honest, I feel like this is triggering my imposter syndrome. I know I'm not a liar or a faker, but when she says things like that I start to doubt myself. Are these things really an issue? Am I just overreacting? Am I unintentionally keeping myself in a depressed state for no reason? nnShe keeps telling me there's nothing I can do about my ADHD and anxiety and it's making me feel so depressed and defeated. I feel like there's just no point in me getting help anymore.
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There are absolutely things you can do about ADHD and anxiety. Weighted blankets, pomodoro technique, healthy food, lots of exercise
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So i always had trouble making friends and maintaining friends ever since i was a kid. I can't approach other people because i'm such a coward. nnI'm now in a friend group, but i mostly don't really feel like i'm their friend. I'm second year middle school (system in The Netherlands is different i think that would be Junior High), and there are these kids i knew since first year. But this year i moved classes because i also moved levels (i can't really explain that, you usually move “levels” if you have very high/low grades) and we coincidentally got in the same class. These 2 kids are now friends with the other kids. One kid (from that group) told me i can always sit with them, but i usually don't because i feel like i'm bothering them. And they do invite me to events they are planning sometimes.nnThey also have a group chat where they talk and have fun, and whenever i try to say something i just feel excluded. Mainly because they don't really pay attention to my messages mostly. And whenever i sit with them i feel like i'm just there, it's like they completely forgot me.nnI have 2 friends but they live in a different country so we can't see each other every day.nnI really wish i had friends and that i could be more socially confident like a normal person. Mainly because i don't want to be lumped in with a certain boy from my class (he is pretty much of an outcast but he still did some bad things) and it just makes me so insecure.nnAlso please refrain from calling me an “introvert”, mainly because i'm afraid of being one and i hate it with passion.
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Np. So for example after a long week of work extroverts would normally want to go to a party or hangout with friends to fuel up but introverts would want to be alone watching movies or something.nnNow… with social anxiety it's hard to determine what you are because we normally stay away from party's and stuff because of the anxiety not always cause we are an introvert. I think I'm an extrovert with social anxiety. Like I love party's and will go to them (sometimes) but I'll go alone and sit by myself just eating and watching others dance and stuff (for me Thats funner than being alone at home)
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Today, I was such a failure with the speech I did today. I knew what to say before hand but when my professor called me up, I forgot everything, even the first words, u201cHello class.u201d So how? How do people remember what to say during their speech/presentation? It felt as if I was programmed to forget. nnTo anybody who overcame stage fright, can you hand me some tips/advices please? Unfortunately, I have another speech to do on the beginning of December. nnAnd can someone say something to make me forget what I just did today? I literally laughed during my speech.
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Instead of memorizing the speech word for word, try to memorise a key phrase from each slide. The key phrases will serve anchor points for you to remember what you want to say.nnOther than that, try to find one friend to practice with. With just 1 friend listening to you, you get nervous but not too nervous.
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I don't rlly know why I'm here, nor do I know what this will even do. Honestly been on a break from weed and alcohol for a few days and still going. I'm alone tbh, I have been told by one of my best friends that I'm not safe to be around. Honestly I can see and understand why, I just can't seem to shut up when I feel comfortable with someone to talk to them about deep stuff. Not a single god damn person I can talk to, not even my therapist. They'd probably flag me or something for suicide. I've been suicidal since I was 5 years old…I'm 18 now, raised to think that I'm just a lump of flesh that is a waste on this earth. Still do tbh, pretty sure my only function is to be there for others then disappear until I'm needed again. Hit rock bottom this year a few months ago: had a bad breakup with a partner that treated me better in 2 months than anyone has my entire life, got diagnosed with PTSD, had child services called on my father and ex step mom multiple times, figuring out what I need to do with my life, pressure from my father and trying to not disappoint him, losing all of my friends, learning that the shit I went through wasn't ok or normal. I'm trying therapy but tbh it isn't rlly working, I don't want to admit to them that I'm suicidal and have self harmed before. It'll just cause more problems for me, honestly I don't know the reason rlly why I haven't. My best theory is that I'm too scared to hurt the ones I care about, don't want to scar them for life with my dead corpse, just a coward too. All are pretty plausible, I'm currently losing the final few of my friends. Ever since I stopped messaging people first and trying to hangout, I haven't gotten anything from anyone…it's honestly fucked. I don't even have the energy to eat or get out of bed. Been crying from 3-5am and I hate myself for it, I couldn't stop it from happening. I can't go to anyone because I'm unsafe for them,but kinda questioning if I should even post here bc of that. I don't want to hurt anyone but I'm not even safe for myself. If I'm not safe for other people to be close how am I supposed to be safe with me? I can't even continue taking my medication, and it's just 1 pull daily. I am just so tired, the new friends I'm making at my work are cool people and fun. Although I'm cautious to let them close, what if I'm not safe for them too or even my own family? I wish I knew what I did to deserve this tbh, guess I'm cursed tho
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Well everyone needs someone to confide in, I hope you find someone soon
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When I was 19 I began looking into work from home jobs. I got an interview for an at home tech support position when I was 19, but didn't go through with the interview (missing one technical requirement at the time). nnIn the past 4 years I've applied for many, many jobs. Most were customer service positions or restaurant jobs. But I've found many work from home companies have a much faster interview response. Most people don't have the time or office to work from home, but at this time in my life I do.nnSo I'm looking into customer service and tech support. I've never had a job in these fields before and never worked from home (except for a few freelance jobs) talking to customers.nnHas anyone worked (or currently works in customer service or tech support) in these fields?nnDoes anyone work from home and how do you manage your job while overcoming SA?
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It rarely does, and that's why I haven't mentioned it much. I was hoping to provide more of a
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7 years ago i was clinically diagnosed with depression and schizophrenia,i constantly think about me finally being happy but then I remember about my friend kian who killed himself, we used to talk about mental health before he died, he was the only person that I could relate to, he wrote a note before he died that said “if things are bad don't kill yourself, you have so much to live for” but I don't think i can hold out for much longer, i feel the urge to cut my wrists and die, should i do it?
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Thanks very much this helped me a bit
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I've always been the shy one as I grow up, I long for close friendships but I'm scared of intimacy. As a result, I kind of just drifted away with my friends along the years, and the ones that are still around have their own inner circles which I'm not in them. It makes me sad that I'm always the outcast.nnThe trigger is seeing my old friend posting on Instagram about how great was her birthday celebration: gifts and greetings from nice workmates, close friends and a trip with her boyfriend, she has it all. She's not showing off cuz I used to know her well …she's genuinely happy. This makes me even sadder.nnThe number of people who remember my birthday this year wasn't even 1/3 of hers. I know this sounds dumb and high school, but I started to feel small and worthless again. nnI feel like if I disappear from the earth, just a small amount of people would care, but I also know disappearing isn't an option. nnI am actually making a lot of improvement with my social anxiety these year. But this time , I've never felt this alone, maybe it's because of the age.nnI am nowhere close to have my own inner circle, Im scared of starting any relationship, I don't have a regular full time job because of my social anxiety so there's no stable income to count on, I just feel hopeless and worthless all over again. nnCan anyone give me any advice or have u been to the same situation and how did u get out of this? nnSorry for such a long article, my thoughts are like a huge ball of yarn right now.
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I am in the same boat as you, a year younger and with perhaps a little bit of money because I somehow manage to hold a job. I would like to say the loneliness is because I moved to another country where I knew no one, but the truth is even in back in my home country I never really had any friends. Mom died suddenly a few years ago, so I am distant from my family too after that. nnI remember having a few friends almost a decade ago when I was in University, but I've lost touch with them, almost like I gave up after a certain point and retreated completely into my own shell. It's late for us anyway, almost everyone's social circle is pretty much set in stone by their late 20's. It won't change, we are a bit like loose ends which just meander around. The best we can do is look for some shallow friendships here and there, which last for a short while. nnI don't really have any advice for you, except for maybe looking for a job. I know it's hard, but it does help immensely. I think it's the only thing that keeps me sane, not feeling like I am a worthless burden on the society. You can look for jobs where you don't have to interact with strangers all day. Who knows, maybe you'll even find people whom you like being with.nnnAlso, get off from social media. It just makes things worse, comparing yourself to others won't really help.
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My teacher asked us to find some groupmates and i literally don't know anyone in my class because im not good in making friends.Until now im still nervous because i still haven't join any group and tomorrow is the start of presentation and im here sitting and overthinking.Badly need advice guys it sucks worrying but i can't do anything because im too shy to approach someone and ask them to be their groupmates i had a feeling they'll just ignore me.i hate this feeling :/
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If there's anyone else that's quiet in your class I'd reccomend asking them, more than likely they feel the same way and wouldn't mind you asking.
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You ever just look at people and wish you were social like them? Me to ud83dude13ud83dude2d
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Not really anymore. I've grown quite content with it.
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There's this party im thinking of going to but I'm not sure if i really want to go cause there will be a lot of people I don't know and I've been a nervous wreck thinking about it :/ i want to to overcome my fear and because i think it would be fun if I wasn't so scared but I'm not sure..
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I think this is great advice. I'm in no way endorsing alcohol as a solution to SA, but if there is alcohol at the party and you've drank before and are comfortable with it, maybe drink a couple beers to loosen up. Don't get fucked up, because then you might make an ass out of yourself, but it might be worth a try to be able to socialize a little more. If you have never drank, however, then DO NOT; some people are the complete opposite while drinking alcohol and feel worse (hence why it is called a depressant). nnGood luck, you can definitely do it.
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any type of anxiety (social generalized ect) nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/p1dkmx)
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Well, both my grandmother and father have social anxiety.
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Phychiatrists prescribe antidepressants for social anxiety does anyone have experience with it?
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Yes, absolutely. A low dose of Escitalopram (Lexapro) has been really, really helpful for me.
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How
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You can't it's not that easy. You just need to have more exposure to the public and keep yourself busy too.
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I am so fucking irritated at life. My depression has turned into anger and frustration. My mind is a prison and I think endlessly on death. I just want to carve into my skin. That's how bad my depression is. I just feel defeated no matter how hard I try. All i am doing right now is using my sketchbook instead of carving a knife inti my skin.
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I can relate. I feel I'm wasting my best years
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It's on my mind every morning, currently listening to it now. Trying to remind myself to not kill myself. Just so lonely and sad.
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What is your anti-suicide song?
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I know this is a terrible coping mechanism, and I really don't drink that much, but when I'm tipsy I feel like a whole different person. It's so freeing, it's like my walls come down and I think that if I were able to talk to people this way all the time, my life would be so different. I just don't know how to make myself like this when I'm sober. I just miss talking to people, you know?nnBeing socially anxious, I always think of it like being ravenous and standing in the middle of a food court, surrrounded by all kinds of delicious foods, not being able to taste any of them. I have so much love and affection, so many thoughts and feelings that I want to share with the people around me, and they're all just locked inside. Instead I'm watching my life pass me by like this, it's a lonely n and sad existence. I wish I could be different.
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Dont worry , youre drifferent , being unique is better than being perfect , you can feel the inner emotional state of other that people cant comprehend , just be polite with yourself and give your self time , dont over think just focus on the next step , always there for you ,
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I'll probably never skateboard again cuz I got heckled at the park for being a girl skater. Wasted 60 bucks and a discord account on Overwatch. The book club I started but no one came to meetings. Let's not forget my YouTube channel. Can't even imagine the amount of money I've wasted on tabletop board games that no one ever wants to play. One day I'll explore them again but I'm not ready yet.
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Oh, I forgot to ask if you have been recommended St. Johns Wort as it is over the counter and I remember it helping me with social anxiety however, I started getting a bad reaction with a rash on my forearm so I had to discontinue using it. I am just throwing some ideas out there as it truly breaks my heart to know you are suffering from what I have been through as the emotional pain from my mental illness is not comparable to any type of physical pain. I still remember crying myself to sleep almost every single day during the 4 years of high school which was the worst years of my entire life.
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