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I feel that a lot of people think that my anxiety symptoms are my personality or attitude. The think I don't talk much because of my attitude and they think that I'm just acting
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I feel you! I hate it when people assume I'm being rude or cold on purpose. What's even worse is when people expect you to
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Went with bf to a work event, everyone was talking about (his) work so I just listened which was fine with me. Nobody asked anything about me either. Then him and his coworker were talking and out of nowhere his co workers tells me I'm quiet.nnIt happens literally all the time with people telling me this and I don't get it. It makes me feel like shit, as if something is wrong with me. What am I even supposed to be talking about in situations like this?
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By being quiet, you're making them realize what mouth-breathing, unthinking, loud mouths they really are.
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I can't even talk to people on the internet. I'm scared they're going to think I'm boring, laugh at me or be mean for no reason. nIt took everything I got to even post this here.nI know I need help but neither I or my family can afford to pay for a psychologist.
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Someone thinking you're boring does not mean that they hate you.
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Hi everyone. I'm curious if people here experience SA more around new people or people they already know? nIt's so strange because some of the recommendations I see is “keep seeing the same people, you will get used to them” when for me, my anxiety seems higher if I'm a regular in a coffee shop or something. What is your experience?
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Anxiety around people I already know cause nnA. They won't be afraid to pass on their judgement. They can ask directly
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I don't feel loved. I feel tolerated.
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You got us! Reach out and lean on us if you need to... you're not alone!
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I don't even say anything offensive, it's just in general conversation or in a random message I send to someone. Or if it's someone I don't know, I think they'll remember me forever as a bad person.nnI was just wondering if anyone else has the same issue and how they deal with it? Because it's making my life really difficult.
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Ohwell.
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I am 22. I have severe social anxiety as soon as i leave the house and go for a walk its like i am in panic modennwhether its walking or going to a grocery store, i even avoid places where its full with people like malls and other places. i take other longer routes to a place even though there is shorter ones to just because i know a lot of people are going to be there if i take the shorter routes. I get a lot of panic attacks.nnThe thing is where i live have to wait about 16 weeks to meet my therapist for the first time, i am searching for therapists with shorter periods in the moment, and i cant take medications without the approval of my therapist, cause the pharmacy needs to see that the doctor has approved. whats worse is i am going back to continue my education in about 2 weeks.nnI have read people talking about dopamine detox like stopping (porn, video games , social media ...)nni wonder if that works nnIdk what to donnAny help?
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hey that's nice, for me it generally doesn't get much better when I meet people, anxiety is generally the same throughout the meeting
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​nnhttps://preview.redd.it/a8b7md5fyli51.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a6ffc8b563f3f930c6d2e978f4bfbd6c9ab8958
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I have the same problem when talking to people, just the basic u201chi how are youu201d and the conversation never goes beyond that! You are not alone!
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I'm having a big panic attack at the moment and my whole world view has been shattered. If it turns out women are only attracted to muscular men, then I must do my duty as a man and become muscular myself.nnI became fairly muscular last summer when I worked out a lot so I guess I can become muscular again if I need to.
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Here's how they rank what they like. It goes like this; height > personality > facial features > then muscle. Having muscles is a bonus. but if you're tall, you can get away with being really slim.
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A few days ago i had a big party and propranolol really helps me to talk to people and be social without getting super nervous. I was the first person of my group to walk into the room filled with 20 strangers, this may not sound like much but it's a great deal to me.nnAnyways, is there anyone else who does this? Do i have to talk to my doctor? I originally got propranolol for performance anxiety.
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I would suggest talking to your Doctor about this so that they know what's going on, but I wouldn't worry too much. Propranalol is one medicine that can be prescribed for regular, long-term use.
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So it's going to be my first day at school tomorrow. I have a social anxiety and I know it would be hard but I want to gather and make some few friends who won't treat me like an outcast. How do yall make friends?
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i disagree with the other comment TBH. take your time with finding friends but be friendly and open with everyone. everyone's settling just like you, trying to find their place and way around. if you get invited anywhere, do say yes but don't sweat it if they seem closer to one another than to you! it will be okay.
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I hope I'm not the only one. :)
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What did you do pre-covid? Or did you wear one before at lights? Hope you're doing okay!
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How do you explain anxiety and depression to someone who doesn't understand it? nI'm deep in the depths right now, every day I struggle to survive. nThe man I love tries to help but ends up getting frustrated when he asks what's wrong and I can't give him an answer. nHow can I help him understand that nothing specifically is wrong today, it's just shit. Everything is just shit
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A little confused as to how I never thought of reading material for him. Thanks for the advice!
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So disappointed in myself for writing this. My anxiety is consuming me so much so I can barely function. I lost the love of my life as a result of addiction and selfishness and each day is getting harder and harder. Just started a 9 hour shift at work and I don't know how I'm going to get through it without having a complete breakdown. I feel like I don't even want to be alive and have reoccurring dreams/thoughts about cutting myself and an image in my head of myself laying in a pool of blood in my flat. I don't know if I can do this.
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A tiny bit better but much more anxious
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Is anyone else afraid of taking meds and feeling different from what you are used to with the anxiety? Like i feel so self conscious with my meds and it makes the anxiety worse because i feel like I'm acting different. Its like i'm so used to dealing with the anxiety and the way i feel without any meds. Im trying my best to explain it kind of makes me nervous to even type all of this lol
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For me, meds were pretty much a lifesaver. I've been dealing with SA since I can remember myself and at 15, after years of therapy (which helped but wasn't enough) my mom finally got on board with me taking meds. When they started working, I felt like I could think clearly for the first time ever. Like I could breathe. It wasn't a magic fix but it gave me the boost I needed to go out of my comfort zone and work hard at coping with my social anxiety. nI'm 23 now and meds have been and still are a journey for me. I've had to adjust them, change them, quit and get back, but at the end of the day it works for me. I think it's all a matter of finding the best method for you, and if meds don't work then that's okay, but in my opinion it's worth a shot.
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Hi everyone I have a girlfriend who just turned 18 and has anxiety and depression and is taking meds and all and they help more times than often. But she literally does nothing all day. She isn't interested in learning anything, doesn't have hobbies, and gets bored of whatever she deems fun within a day or two. She goes to therapy and still nothing makes her happy or even interested in finding something. She has literally no motivation to learn anything new. Please help I am beyond desperate and concerned.
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Hi, I understand this is hard for you to witness and it might even make you feel helpless, because you want her to feel better, but can't. nnSomeone who suffers from anxiety and depression needs basically all of their energy for the normal things, like getting out of bed, cleaning their teeth, eating enough and so on. That leaves only very little energy for doing things that bring her joy or motivation. Doing someting fun gives a lot of energy, but first you need some energy to start doing the thing and it sounds like your girlfriend lacks that energy at this point.nnMaybe it's good to have a talk with her about what you can do for her (simple things like bringing her tea, watching a youtube video with her, buying her a cute little gift or telling her she's pretty... whatever her love language is). It's hard if she's only 18 and I assume you're about the same age, because these are complex emotions. Communication is very important. nnI think the idea of love languages is very interesting. You'll find them easily by googling it. People experience intimacy in different ways and finding out her love language can really help you help her.nnUnfortunately, there is no easy cure for depression or anxiety. Your gf is in therapy and has medication, but she still needs to figure a lot out in her head and that's gonna take a while. You can compare it to someone with an illness like mono: you won't die from it, but it just takes a lot of time and energy for you body to cure itself. Depression and anxiety do the same to the mind.nnSo: show her support, do little things for her that make her day a bit better, give her time and also don't forget to take care of yourself in the meantime. You can't 'make her happy', you can only help create an environment in which she can make herself happy again.
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Hi, I would like insight from people who have anxiety and depression, because I feel like I might have but I started experiencing episodes this year. I haven't had a very traumatic experience in this year (I say this because a counselor I went to said I can't experience depersonalization without a traumatic experience). If relavant, 2 years ago I had surgery and started getting panic attacks. My ex and I broke up at the time from a 1 year relationship. My pet died this year. But really i wasn't traumatized. nAnyway, I started to experience episodes at different times of the day where my mood instantaneously switches to being very sad and normally I'm thinking of the world in a
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That makes sense. Thanks for your input.
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Title says it all. My parents invited some
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I can guarantee they didn't want to be there either. Putting yourself at the center of what sounds like a mutually awkward situation for the four of you isn't fair.
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what are your experiences with this? how did you cope? how did you reason one emotion over the other?nnIve been questioning for a looooong time and sometimes it feels too long. but part of the reason is that throughout my life, i have had a hard time motivating myself to socialize, making friends, i usually prefer to spend time alone than with others, I'm very scared about putting myself
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I feel you. Right now I identify as gay but I wonder sometimes if the only reason I feel like I'm not attracted to boys is because being around them makes my anxiety go nuts. I was only able to learn about things like sexuality and the LGBT experience from things I read online, so i also wonder if I would've even come to this conclusion if I had more friends as a kid and wasnt online so much due to SAD.nnWhat really helped me come to terms with things was reading more about compulsory heterosexuality, LGBT experiences, and accepting that sexuality is a personal journey. Remember that you don't owe anybody an explanation or an absolute
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So there's this girl in uni,we are in different courses but I am thinking of hitting her dmz but I'm scared of fucking shit up and ending up being talked trash in uni for not having game.Should I do it?Also I'm scared coz usually I'm average on talking on phone then horrible talking face to face,which is making me have second thought,should I do it?
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That's not that long, probably she hasn't even seen you text yet. Maybe she wasn't near her phone
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I was on my phone and in the distance i overheard these group of like 4-5 kids talking about me. Now i don't remember every single thing they said so when i don't remember i'm going to say (inaudible). So basically a boy said “you know that kid with the (inaudible) hair?” then a boy replied saying “yeah” then they started saying “that kid has discord” and he gave a chuckle after that. After that another boy or the same boy said that i smelt bad. I don't know if they're talking about me but i'm the only one whose used discord in the class so yeah. The other people like the girls didn't say anything back to them probably cuz they know i'll be able to hear them lmfao. one of those kids in the group also screamed “what did he say” when i had to say my name out loud to the teacher.
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Wow how shitty of them, theyre the ones who should be embarrassed and feel bad about themselves, i hope you dont let some worthless douchebags get you down
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I just thought about getting one. They don't have one on the hiddendisabilitiesstore.com website but I emailed them about itnn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/p5ux0b)
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I get you
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Every time i see one i think two thingsnn1 part of of me wants to chat her up, imagine we have this connection, shes' interested we then meet up later for a date and the rest is historynnthe other part of me knows i'm ugly short, and have social anxiety and it will never happen in my life nncry
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I guess it is pretty normal to get depressed if every time you see an attractive girl you immediately imagine a relationship with her as the ultimate goal and then tell yourself that it is unreachable for you due to your perceived deficiencies. In other words, you are subconsciously setting yourself up for failure by turning a casual encounter into a stressful test of self-worth (the outcome of which your brain has already decided).nnThis seems to be more about you and your self-esteem than about the girls and what they might actually want themselves. They're just the abstract trigger for thought patterns around your own feelings of inferiority, because you seem to define your self-worth by whether you can get together with a random attractive girl or not.nnMy advice would be to try and stop treating every girl you see as a potential partner, just because of her looks. Realize it's just a fantasy, and it would still be just a fantasy if you looked differently and were more confident. There may be lots and lots of reasons why she's not an option that have nothing to do with you, and random encounters are not the best opportunity to make a connection anyway. Plus, even if you had a successful date, the rest would not be history but remain hard work throughout. So, instead, look for ways to silence that inner voice that's putting you down for supposedly not being able to get a girlfriend and improve your self-esteem so that you can feel good about who you are without needing anyone else for validation. That would significantly improve your chances of someday finding a real connection with a nice girl, too. Therapy could help, if it's available to you, otherwise maybe self-help books? Or start by critically observing and questioning why exactly you feel how you feel when you feel that, and try to steer against it when it happens.
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I know nice people and they are so friendly and my friends which I love so mych but still I feel like I cannot be myself. I was hurt badly by people because of my personality and now I don't darz to be myself and it sucks sl much. I don't know what to do. I don't feel things normally when I'm around people because Im scared.
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Yes but how do i start being my real self. I feel like I don't even know who I am. I feel like I have never been my true self and I don't know how to change it. I don't know how to let myself be. I don't know how to express anger or emotions. The only emotion I know how to display is joking or having fun. I feel so lost and it hurts because I never know what part of me is acceptable enough to display.
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Do you feel like smoking (weed) makes you less anxious? I feel like a completely different person when I'm high, and I love it because much of my anxiety (esp my social anxiety - I have diagnosed SAD, GAD + PD) melts away. I feel like a boulder is lifted off of me, I can literally do many of the things that I'm anxious about.
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That's very good. This feeling of being helpless when u don't have any is horrible. If u develop this u should stop smoking it. And if u can't do it on ur own just get some professionals to help u.nBut of corse I hope it never gets that far for u. I wish u the very best
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Idk whats wrong with me when I was in my early-mid 20s I had hardly any issues socializing and had a lot of friends. Anxiety was barely existent. After about 26 or so i started to feel more isolated and now I have major anxiety issues again. Idk how to fix this because I don't hear anyone talking about anything I can relate to and idk what to even say to people anymore. I'm early 30s and only talk to people in their late 20s and people in their 50s but idk anyone else. Also I've tried the whole put yourself out there thing and nothing ever works. As I get older it just seems impossible to meet people.
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Same I just don't say much anymore
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I have the worst symptoms (dizziness, extreme fear, mood swings, irritability, paranoia, confusion, sweating, chills, tremors, restless but exhausted, loss of memory, loss of sense of reality, etc) FMLnI cant even function ever!!!! nnFeels like a permanent panic attack, in perpetual shock
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cant even wash 2 cups
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So what is it?
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Game dev
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Hi everyone,nnI'm new here so if I say something wrong, please advise me. Today I went to the shopping mall for the first time after the pandemic started. It's not shocking news to me that I'm socially anxious, but y'all when I say I could not interact I am not exaggerating.. this led to multiple embarrassing situations. nnI felt like my brain was on lag whenever I would want to respond to someone or react to something. Honestly, it felt quite discouraging, almost like all the social skill progress I had made went into the bin. I was excited for us to get back to normal society before, but now the thought of being isolated feels comfortable to me. Is anyone else dreading going back into social settings? Any tips?
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Its okay, your not crazy lol. This is normal, I've talked to multiple friends that do not have social anxiety and they said they were heavily anxious when they went back outside. Something I've learned, you don't get
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Okay so I just recently started my summer job. It's just for 4 weeks so nothing big, there's just a little problem. So during the lunch break there is a break room and I'm kinda scared to walk in there. There are two tables and the last time I tried to walk in there one table had ppl sitting at it and the other was empty and I panicked bc I didn't know on which I would sit and just ran back into the locker room.nThe people are nice and all, it's just for some reason I am having a hard time going in there and just sitting down so every break I'm basically hiding in the locker room... I don't think I can pull that for 4 weeks straight... Somebody got some sorta advice. I'm not even quite sure what the issue is but for some reason I'm really scared to go in there when other people are there too.
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Can you go and sit in your car or something? Or maybe even just sit outside?nThat's what I did when I first started my job because I didnt know anyone, now I go and sit in my car because I wish I didnt know them.
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I was a u201cNEETu201d for years since a few weeks ago. I had agoraphobia and was too afraid to leave the house, but I finally decided enough was enough and got a job in a grocery store. I've been working pretty comfortably and going to the gym pretty regularly toonnBut it's not easy, and the main struggle I'm having is being too u201cstiffu201d. When I'm on the treadmill I'll feel like I can only look straight or out the window (especially if someone is running next to me, my eyes are basically locked..) Or when I'm sitting waiting to load cars at work, I just look out to the street, maybe to the bus stop, and switch between only two specific ways of sitting. I still think way to hard about every action I'm doing and how it'll come off to the people around me. Has anyone ever had to deal with this? Did you figure out how to get over this, or have any advice? I'm happy with the progress I'm making and don't let the problems affect me, but getting over this part would make things way easier.
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Wow I've never seen someone I've related to so hard. I had that exact thing back a few years ago. It lessened a ton when I started lexapro but it's still kinda there in certain situations
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I am currently in a daily clinic for treatment of social anxiety, but after 4 weeks, it feels like something is diffrent with me to the other patients. I had a bad week and I did some self-harm, wanted to self-sabotage me and quit the clinic to harm myself. Lucky, on friday I checked in the clinic again and asked one of the therapist to have a talk about what happened. I told her about my self harm and self hatred and she said, she want to do further diagnosis next week.nnSo yesterday I did some research online (This site is great - (https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/)) and I stumbled about the term quiet borderline personality disorder, which checks a lot of boxes how I feel my whole life. I never thought I might could have BPD because I am not angry on the outside, but the thing with the quiet form seems to be, that you tend to point the anger inward on yourself. It also seems like social anxiety is a form of a side product with (quiet) borderline personality disorder.nnThe problem is, that I feel like, Inever got diagnosed properly with social anxiety. Its is more like I self diagnosed with it, got to some therapist and told them I think that I have it and they did not make any further diagnostics on me and just started the usual treatment of SA.nnMy Question here is now, has anyone experience with confusting between SA and (quiet) BPD?
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I've been looking into it too, I'm in kind of a similar position in that I've never been professionally diagnosed with SA, but a psychologist told me that I most likely have some type of anxiety disorder and social anxiety seems to fit my symptoms the best. I've been noticing a huge amount of similarities between my symptoms and what people with BPD describe their episodes as, and I guess it also makes sense that it would have similarities with SA since it stems from a fear of abandonment, which is similar to SA and fear of judgment and disapproval
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Warning for mild NSFW and self harm thoughtsnthis was posted elsewhere but i really need all the advice I can get A few months ago when I was late 16 or maybe a month or two into 17 (F), I had a relationship with a guy. (Same age). we were sitting in the back of the car and he said something like, “oh I'm not really horny rn, I kinda feel like sitting, just absorb the sunlight yknow.” I go to tease him, poke at him with a “not even a litttttle” followed by teasing groping from me (one squeeze?)(we had touched before in the past)(he's never minded when I touched anywhere as far As i can remember) and he seemed completely fine. vaguely amused maybe. he goes “yeah I'm pretty sure feeling kind of at peace with myself yknow” (he was joking around a little)(I think that's what he said? I can't remember perfectly. He could've just said yeah too. I don't know exactly. But I'm pretty sure this is what he said. I'm absolutely sure actually. I don't know why it took me so long to remember) and is completely calm. But I know he didn't look uncomfortable. I know he didn't ask me to stop.nnnnna few moments later after some cuddling?? and maybe a little heavy kissing??? I decide I want to be touched, so I go eloquently “touch me a little?” (just grabbing and groping) and he doesn't seem to have a problem with it. he agrees and does not say anything against it we do that, kiss a little and go home.nI feel like a awful person. He was trying to tell me he didn't want to do anything with the “feel like absorbing the sunlight” part and I made him touch me. I just, really really didn't think about it at the time. I should've thought things through and stopped everything when he said he wasn't horny. I feel ill. I feel awful. I should've stopped when I noticed he wasn't that into it. I mean he didn't say he was against it but neutrality doesn't mean I should go forward. the lack of words saying explicitly to stop shouldn't be a green light. I should've asked if he was okay.nnnnnI swear with everything in me if he looked even a tiny bit uncomfortable I would have stopped. If he said no, I know I would have stopped. I know it. I I'd rather loose all my limbs that to hurt someone like that. I already want to die from this. But still. He was trying to tell me something and I wasn't listening. I'm awful. I want to hurt myself. I'm scared. And I feel selfish for wanting all this to stop even though I'm the one who made the mistake. I'm so tired. I don't know how but I feel so numb and so guilty all at once. I know perfectly well I'm turning this into a self pity party even though I'm not the victim here. I can't seem to stop. Im sorry.nnnnnI hate myself for not being able to remember the event clearly. Even now I barely remember the things I say, and when I hurt people I should be able to remember shouldnt I? Even now as I'm writing this, it's so blurry. I wish my memory was better. I wish I wasn't always so unsure. Im sure this is what happened but I just can't get my brain to recall perfectlynHe says that during our time together I never did anything wrong, but I know this is bad. He says he's do it all again, but I still feel ill I think I'm terrible.I should have stopped when I noticed he wasn't completely into it. he didn't say to stop and he didn't look like he didn't want to but that's not the same as wanting to and I think I'm awful. I should've stopped.nnnnI can't stop thinking about dying. I need to talk to my therapist but I can't for a week. I'm scared. I need help. I'm alone. I'm awful. And I'm terrible. And I'm a coward. I wish I didn't do that, I wish I wasn't like this, I wish I could just do things right and I wish I wasn't alone Sexual things is the one thing you can't affor to mess up with but somehow I managed to. I'm such a fuck up. Im so stupid. How didn't I realize? Why didn't I think? I take so long this think things through properly and I don't know why. Im so frustrated and tired and upset and I don't know how to fix myself. Why can't I seem to stop fucking up?nnnnI feel like a rapist. I see these stories of sexual assault, of rape on YouTube and I keep thinking that I could be one of them. I feel like I'm tricking people. This is the story as well as I remember it and I'm sure I'm not leaving anything out but I still feel like I'm tricking people. I don't know how I would be tricking people, but that's what I feel like. I feel like I'm horrible and anyone who says otherwise is just being tricked by me.nnnnI don't know why I'm like this. I'm so sorry. I'm pathetic. I can't seem to stop being like this. I remove myself from the guilt for one second and I feel bad for even trying to when I don't deserve to. I don't deserve nice things and my family does. They want to do nice things and I go along with them so they aren't worried but I feel like I don't deserve any of it.nnnI'm so sorry. I'm so scared. I wish I never teased him. I wish I wasn't horrible. I regret everything
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Give yourself grace. You're not a terrible person, it just sounds like you had a moment where you learned something about yourself. From what I read, it seems like you would feel more comfortable with clear communication and green flags from your partner. If this is right, then take this lesson moving forward with future partners. nnIf you feel the need to talk with someone, text HOME to 741741 - it's a 24/7 crisis chat line.
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I don't know why I'm like this. I never used to be like this at all, until the last couple of years.nnWhen I talk to people of any race besides white, I get extremely fearful that they will think I am racist. This makes me nervous, which, in turn, makes me look racist, which makes me more nervous because I'm visibly shaking, which makes me look even more racist.nnI started working at a Mexican restaurant last year and it helped a lot, but only with Latino people. I walked to a gas station and hung out with the Indian attendant all the time, and he was awesome. My fear around Indian people has subsided. I know for a fact that he thought I was racist at first, though.nnIt drives me crazy. I delivered pizza a year and a half ago to a white man in his car. I didn't know where he was, so I asked the black man on his front porch where he was. He replied in AAVE, and I was so nervous that I accidentally replied back in AAVE and embarrassed myself so badly I wanted to die. I was mortified.nnI feel like such a horrible person. I hate to think that when I come across people of color, they see my reactions and they think I'm scared of them! I hate that I am just adding another day of what they view as racism to their lives. Things are already bad enough as it is and I hate to think I'm hurting anyone.nnPlease give me advice. Please be nice to me about it. I know how polarizing this topic can be.
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You are not racist it just thought, it might be OCD you can take professional help if it effecting your life so much.
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i have always found that i don't easily click with people. I have always been the quiet kid that had one two friends. I can tell that my biggest problem is that iam afraid i will be judged and that keeps me from revealing my true self but at the same time i don't think that even if i show my true character people will get it. I think i am often misanderstood, or that i don't fit in. For example the things i am interested in or the things i am worried about are completely different from other's. Girls my age are having one relationship after the other and i still have never been in one. (i am 22 btw). I am not saying that this is necessarily bad, but it adds to the things that make me different from most people.nn​nnI am not nessesarily searching for advice...comment if you have a similar experience :).
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Honestly I relate to you, Ive always only had 1 or 2 close friends wherever I go, but I struggle to showcase my true self to other people for the reason that I might get judged for having different interests lol.nI was always more into video games growing up and somehow this made me get along more with boys, but at the same time I would hate mentioning this, coz I would think that other girls would think that I'm only saying this for male attention. I never am looking for male attention, I just try to find people who I can play with games online, and it just happens that more guys play video games than girls.nnI think I am becoming more interested in
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I am a socially awkward person. Very much so. Anytime I speak to anyone who isn't a friend or a close family member, they always give me this look of disgust or reply in a voice that made it seem like I was an asshole.nnWhat the hell did I do!? I seriously don't understand people.
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Truth is, life isn't perfect and neither are you. Anyone who insists otherwise is an asshole. There's not much need to get worked up over it if it's all you got and you're constantly learning like the rest of us.
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My mom is having guests at our house, and I'm staying in my room to avoid these people. nBruh, I'm a 22 y.o. adult malennEdit: forgot to mention these people are my relatives
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ugh, this reminds me of my own issue. I purposely ignore invites bc im so fat and shy (family party)
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So i've had a bout of pretty extreme social anxiety for a number of years so I drifted away from my clique. Although i've kept in regular contact with one of them within that time and more recently i've hung out with them all on a semi-regular basis, almost to the point were they might call me their friend.But i cant help but feel like a black sheep in the group, in any group social interaction with them i usually keep quiet and listen to whatever they talk about, yet i feel they think that i'm being boring and uninteresting and because of this they don't always invite me to hang out with them.nI've always had a problem with being shy and i feel i'm totally unable to text or talk to the others individually. I've never had a group of friends that i can just hang out with and talk and chill with, so im totally inexperienced at this.n i just wish i was more outgoing, confident and funny.n
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Nothing wrong with being boring. Find friends who find value in who you are and not what they or you think you should be.
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Hey guys, i am an IT tech. nMost people think IT is one of the best jobs for introverted and social anxious people but its not. End users always calling and demanding stupid tasks. You have to keep comunicate with your co-workers. Its nightmare. Any jobs or self-employed ideas do you have from minimum to zero social interaction? Im not asking only high paid jobs. 40-50k/year is enough for me. nThanks.
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No one?
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Assuming some here will post or have commented elsewhere of course.
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I disagree
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If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the moment. - Lao Tzu
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Watch me be depressed and anxious both at the same time ud83dude0enn​nnyeahh
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I am 23 years old and still have no dating experience. Likely because I have severe social anxiety and self esteem issues.nnI try my best to be content with being alone but I do get sad about it sometimes. Especially when I see my friends with their SO's. nnI love the idea of being in a relationship. The whole process of getting to that point sounds terrifying though. Especially since I'm supposed to take the lead because I'm a man.nnIs dating just not for someone like me?
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You don't know the situation.
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ERROR: type should be string, got " https://refer.everlywell.com/s/Lucy293 " |
Symptoms of low Vitamin D can include, Fatigue, Anxiety, Low mood, Insomnia and much more. So taking Vitamin D will alleviate these symptoms.
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I've many a times, found myself hating and berating the people I care about, both in my mind and sometimes in person. I fear that this is destroying my image. I'm curious if this is a thing or not
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nice
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For me it's the “Let's have a little chat/ Lets talk” nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/xq5lkn)
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All above, but most horrific for me is
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So a lot of difficult things have been happening in my life recently. I'm stressed out a lot about school, getting ready for college, scouts, family life, and basically everything else. I've started having more flashbacks than I've ever had before (flashbacks to my childhood trauma and experiences of being abused), and that has caused my anxiety to spike. And with that, I started feeling increasingly nauseous (I'm getting scared that I'm going to be in school or out with my friends and I'm just going to puke and it'll be really embarrassing). I haven't been eating very well because I'm scared it probably won't stay down (sometimes I go several days without eating). I don't know what I can do, cause I've tried so many things and my anxiety isn't going down...
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Wish you all the best.
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I am very dissatisfied with the cycle I have gotten myself into over the past 18 months. I dread the whole process.nnI am interested to hear what it is like for others in this sub.nHow do you get your hair cut?nDo you go somewhere to get it cut? What's that place like? Do you get it cut by the same person? Do you cut it yourself?nAlso, how often?nnMy goal is to eventually feel more comfortable and confident with the whole process.
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This was basically me about a month ago. Mum always cut my hair, she kinda knew what she was doing so it wasn't so bad, but I never had particularly great hair all through my life. Well one day she absolutely butchered it (sorry mum), and it was really bad. So i made the decision that I was gunna go to a barbers no matter what. And I did. And it was fine. nnFirst time, a girl cut it, and she was nice. Originally went in with a plan, half inch on sides, inch on top. But she recommended something different, and I just went with it, despite being worried that I was gunna get something that I didn't want, but it actually ended better than I'd hoped. Turns out they know what there talking about. nnGood luck, I hope you go through with it. It really was a confidence booster. Now I have hair I'm happy with, and just knowing that I managed to overcome my anxiety for something that I was originally terrified of, gives me hope for the future. :) Next step is doctors appointment.
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Hello im almost 21 years old and I need some type of way to get money. I have medication that I need to pay for and basically cant live without and will run out of money by the end of the year. I have GED and no license and no skills and I have really bad social anxiety/general anxiety/depression. Ive done some job searching for remote/work from home jobs and I breakdown every time. Many websites say to get a customer service job because Im not interacting with people in real life. But my anxiety is as bad on phone as it is in real life. I dont know what to do anymore and am scared for my future.
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Just to add that i think a lot of people are missing. I do not have a license
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Sorry for the bad news but sadly I didn't get the job due to certain reasons.nI was really hoping that I'll work there and I thought this will be good for me due to my anxiety.
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Don't worry bro, there's always next time
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It's so frustrating because I probably seem boring and so basic
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Yes, but it gets easier with practice and time
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I've heard it many times that children have imarinary friends and it's totally normal, but I've never heard about adults having imaginary friends. nnAbout me: I'm a 23 years old woman from a small town in Eastern Europe. I'm shy and introverted, but I DO have good close friends, I also have a long relationship with my partner. I'm the only child in my family, my parents are married, no one has any drug or alcool problem. nnAbout Lu00e9na (my imaginary friend): She is the same age as me, she is skinnier than me, and has dark hair. She is much more confident and braver than me. She always says what she thinks. She takes care of me.nnOnly serious comments please!
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Is it maladaptive daydream?
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or you cant go insidennim not vaccinated because i dont know how and i dont want to schedule an appointment and go and see a doctor to get vaccinated, and I don't want anyone to see that Im not vaccinated because at this point if you don't have the vaccine people think you're a lunatic or an idiot. If i could get vaccinated without having to leave my apartment I would.nnnow i dont know what to do
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My sister... perfectly healthy, marathon runner, mid 30's, died of covid before vaccines were available. nnPlease get the vaccine.
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I don't leave the house anymore…and now it's starting to creep onto social media. I'll post something…see other posts…start over analyzing it all and then I'll delete it. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel so trapped. I don't have any friends anymore because I isolated myself and they all left…I'm so lost…what do I do…please help?
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I feel like medication is sometimes the best option to get you started. I recently played some online games with someone that I think is pretty awesome. I'm a pretty lonely individual (like I think most of us are these days) so I was super excited but really nervous. It's a game I'm decent at. Anyway, ended up playing like trash and embarrassed myself and I've felt absolutely dead inside about it for two days. Talked to my doctor and got my meds adjusted a bit so that I could stop looping it in my head.
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I'm a uni student first year. I've made a couple new friends but they never come in. I've been told by my dad many times that I wouldn't get anywhere and he was right. I don't feel like doing anything, I can't socialise with new people and I don't know how to make new friends. I hate loud environments, most days my mind is zoning out and I don't even feel like doing anything. I'm extremely shy and I'm known as the quiet person in the family. I go sleep everyday worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow in the future and I sleep past 2am everyday.
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My advice is, do some thinking and don't avoid your problems. It's the worst not only waste so much money but also time. You can't take the time back. And I would move out or if you live alone, separate yourself from your dad. A loving parent won't say such things. My mother is too not so supporting but never said that I'm worth nothing. It's better to do it now when you are young. I'm 35. Always knew there was sth wrong with me. But I just pushed myself. Like others. And I was trying to lie to myself. Saying that others live on the streets or severely ill or have no legs,etc.....nBut it's not working this way. Your fears are real. It's mental pain. You will come to the edge, it looks like it. So you need to act. nI had very bad experience with one therapist, now I have to wait for another one 4 months. But in the meantime I did such an enormous work myself. Don't waste more time. This pain slowly, but slowly kills you inside.
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This happens a lot to me and it makes me feel way more guilty than i think it should. You know when you say something like
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Yes!!! It's a never-ending cycle of feeling anxious that I'm not doing enough for others, and then feeling anxious that I'm pushy and cross boundaries when I insist. Uuuughhhhh.
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Thank you so much for the support you guys were tremendously helpful, I will attempt to get therapy and continue to hit the gym like many of you recommended. Thank you means so much.
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Some girls (like me) prefer fun size kings, if their personalities are big. nnnPeople who want to make you feel small will always mock you for something. When they can't make fun of your height, they'll move on to the next likely target that they suspect you'll be sensitive about. Hair texture, skin color, nose shape... It literally never ends. nnnA kid I work with is 6'3
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I am so angry with myself for opening the door when the doorbell rang. I've been lucky so far that I hadn't any people trying to sell services so far but today was the day, apparently. nnI have trouble saying no and am visibly anxious when talking to people, so I had trouble sending the guy away. I was too scared to ask how much it would cost (and he sure didn't tell me beforehand) and he must have noticed I'm an easy target because what he charged was way higher than was reasonable. He even got somewhat pissy when I misheard him and gave him a little less than what he asked for. nnHe didn't even wear a mask when he came inside, dammit.nnI feel so stupid right now. How the hell do people have the confidence to say no, or not giving a shit about what someone thinks of them? I hate that I feel so anxious even inside my own home.
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I'm sorry you went through this today. The only way is working on yourself with therapy and tools. nnI do hate to say it, alot of these posts end in the therapy response. But it's very helpful for you to learn boundaries, and if your doing this to a door sales person, I'd worry for who else could take advantage of you.
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I was wondering if anyone here has any good recommendations for jobs that pay decently and that don't require much social interaction or travel. I also have some health problems that prevent me from taking on physically strenuous work.nnI noticed I haven't been doing so well financially and the current economic situation has made it even harder for me to get by. As the only child of aging parents, there's a good chance they will be dependent on me to support them in the near future.nnSocial anxiety is something I've always struggled with and quite frankly, hasn't improved despite my efforts. I can cope with it to some extent, but I'd rather not have to resort to taking stronger prescriptions or exposing myself to unnecessarily high stress-levels for an extended period of time.nnI'm feeling really lost right now. If I had at least some idea of what options are available to me, I think I could at least set a goal for myself to work towards.
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It's all customer facing to start with unfortunately, but allowed me to be a bit more outgoing. I'm not sure training, maybe get taken on as an apprentice to get some experience?
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Them: Hello, how are you?nnnMe internallly: OMG why are they talking to me??!?! Was it a bet? I wasn't prepared for this!! What do I say?!?! If I don't talk now they're gonna think I'm weird. They probably already think I'm weird. Stop talking to yourself and respond! Did you hear those people behind you, they're laughing at you. nnnMe outloud: Um, hi. Uhhhh, good. Um, you?nnnThem: Oh pretty good. It's a nice day out.nnnMe internally: Fuck say something clever. Why are you so hopeless?!?! nnnMe outloud: One time it rained. nnnThem: That's nice. walks away
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Exactly. But of course three hours later when I'm still ruminating over the conversation I find the perfect words.
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Hello! I have struggled with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for most of my life, mostly with intrusive thoughts and a major fear of germs. I suffer from terrible physical anxiety and panic that is often debilitating. I am have an appointment with my doctor at the end of the month and I am hoping to get some feedback on peoples experience with this medication. Has anyone taken Celexa for OCD or panic disorder? How did you find it helped, what if any side effects did you have, how long did it take to see results, etc. Thank you so much and have a fantastic day!
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Hi there, I have anxiety and depression and have had success with it helping my anxiety- my panic attacks are much much fewer with this drug. My depression is still a bit of an issue but I find it a lot more manageable. I've been on Citalopram for about 5 years now and I don't think I'd go back to not being on it for the break it provides me from my anxiety. Take care friend and good luck with the treatments you are seeking.
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Hey guys...My name is Izzy. I'm almost 18. I don't have any friends. I can't hold a conversation. The last time my sister invited me to hang out with her friends I said three words in 4 hours. I can't keep a friend. I am sometimes able to talk a full blown conversation comfortably, and sometimes I will burst in to tears from the inability to speak if someone asks me what I like to do for fun. I get depressed when I see people hanging out with their friends. I'm typing this from the couch in my empty house on a Saturday night. I am lonely.nnThat being said, I'm pretty good at drawing, I like video games, and I fucking live for mozzerella sticks. I guess I'm not a total loser. I just fall incredibly short in the social department. I don't know why I made this post. I think I'm just tired of being alone. I thought I was coming to terms with the fact that I will probably never have a
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I feel you on the stutter
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I have to refill a prescription and am too scared to pick it up so I want it delivered but I'm too scared to make the call because their website is broken to the point where I can't actually deliver anything.nnI have tons of calls to make that I just don't feel like doing, I literally am paying over $60 a month in bills because I can't make a phone call, I have to make a call to replace my debit card but I can't, and I have a prescription for pickup that I'm not sure if I can get delivered and I have to ask.
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I completely relate. I've always hated talking on the phone and making simple appointments, like getting my hair cut or something. A trick that gets me through it is I take a few deep breaths, type the number in, a few more deep breaths, and then I just hit call; I usually calm down once it's all happening and feel better once it's all said and done.
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Hi. I just got a job at tesla and my first day is tomorrow. I haven't been working for a while and my parents have been trying to get me to get out there in the work field. I think they think I haven't been working because I'm lazy but in reality I haven't been able to due to anxiety/depression. Everytime I'm in a big crowd I start to sweat. Im pretty pale so when I get anxiety attacks I turn beet red. I feel like everyone is watching and judging. The factory were I'm going to be working at is full of a lot of machines and people so I don't want to get in the way or slow people down. Everything is going fast and I don't want screw someone's day up cus I couldn't just walk right or be normal. There's rules to get through the factory so you don't get hurt but I feel like I might mess up. I just want to get through the day with being so anxious. Even yesterday during Thanksgiving dinner I got an anxiety attack cus I felt claustrophobic from all my family. I was starving. Had two plates but when it the anxiety attack came on I just left my plates. Felt very rude to do but I could just sit there red, sweating, trying not to throw up. Later on my dad came into the living were I ran off to and I talked to him about it. Told him how I felt closed in on and how I was nervous I might screw up at work. He told me get my foot in the door and relax. It was nice to talk to him about it but it didn't really help. I'm kinda lost. I need some advice or to know I'm not alone because at this point I just don't even want to go in tomorrow. I would appreciate your help. Thanks.
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Reassurance is something people with social anxiety need! It's keeps us grounded! Now get some sleep! Sleep deprivation will make you more anxious! Knock the shift out
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And do the med really help or not
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It took many years for me to find something that worked for me. On Sertraline (zoloft) now took a couple of months with dry mouth and a little nausea, but this med has been a lifesaver for me. I was having 1-2 panic attacks a week. It was physically and mentally exhausting. nnNow after being on the med for a couple of years I don't think I have any side effects anymore. nnIn the past with different meds I had insomnia, headaches, inability to orgasm, nausea and dry mouth. Usually those are the most common.
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My whole life, I've always wondered how people view their relationship with me, am I a casual friend? am I a close friend? Am I just an acquaintance?. This has caused me to hesitate whenever I want to contact someone because I always feel like I'm not close enough to message that person or ask for their number and I don't want to reach out and then embarrass myself because we weren't as close as I thought we were and they never had intentions to strengthen our bond in the first place. I hate having this feeling because I just end up shutting people out because I think they don't want to talk to me or want me around, I just wish people would be more upfront about their feelings and intentions, it would just make everything so much easier.
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Oh dang, are you me?
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I keep thinking of the Ex on and off today.. why can I move on and get over him, I feel so shit and Useless. How long does a healing process take normally I can just shut off and get on with it but for some reason this one is not budging xx
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Don't worry, the process is never a specific limit of time, you'll go by your own time and speed, don't worry about the u201cstereotypicalu201d time people take, don't let your ex drag you down either keep healthy and motivated, take each day at a time, inbox is always open :) x
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I took the day off work today for mental health. I have the sick time and I figured I'd use it or lose it. As soon as my wife got up I felt the need to explain it to her and ask if it was ok. I do that a lot. I feel better about my decisions if they are approved by someone else. Is this familiar to anyone else?
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Yes all the time. Permission I think for me is also reassurance that I'm not thought less of and still loved even though I'm doing something
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Anyone else have these feels - let's break the cycle right?
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Thats a pretty ridiculous thing to say. Its easy to look back in hindsight and say
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?
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Depends on the situation, but if I had to average it's around 7.
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To verbal violence and even physical. I always can't stand for myself and say if I don't like something. How do you deal with provocative people? And how to keep yourself from crying or physically attacking the person and loosing the control of yourself?
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Just understand that you are right and that it is not your fault but do think about if it's your fault and change it. Just don't get scared and try to overcome eventually you will learn it.
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My anxiety when talking to strangers is fine because chances are I will never see them again so I don't feel like I need to make a good impression. But then around people i want to make a good impression on (people at college, potential employers etc.) my anxiety is terrible, I can't even talk to them because I'm so scared of being judged. Can anyone relate to this?
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I always clam up around people I consider important--especially people I am attracted to. It really sucks because I always sound ridiculous around these people, but if I don't give a shit about you I have no problem chatting up a storm. It's bullshit.
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i've never been interviewed in my life so i have no idea what to expect, i kind of hate myself for even applying for these internships nnone of them said that they chose me out of a lot of applicants so now im terrified about being a disappointment nnif anyone has advice on preparing and doing the interview with SA i would love to hear it!
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Yay! Hope you get it :)
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After a few years of no dating, getting my life to a safe place, and getting on the right track away from trauma and drama, I've met someone really worth my time. I can see my old issues still coming up, and I've asked for us to take a break while I try to get it right. nnI can't afford a counselor right now or even books, but I want to work as hard as I can so I can go back to this person as soon as I can. He is in full support, has even offered to pay for my appointments but I decided to pass. I feel like this is something I really just need to do for myself, especially since we aren't official. We're just friends as of this moment.nnHow do I become the best version of myself?nnHow do I stop self sabotage?nnHow do I stop emotional outbursts?nnHow do I stop emotional blackouts?nnHow do I stop leaving in high emotional distress? I've tried to just walk away and take a break. It doesn't work. nnLike I know you guys aren't google, but I really don't know where to start on this journey. I've wanted to start journaling and track everything I possibly can but I cant concentrate to save my life.nnThanks in advance guys. I'm ready to be a healthier and happier person.
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Mindfulness- You have control over your mind, just takes some practice. Live, think, and feel in the moment.nGo from there tonCognitive Behavioral Therapy- your thoughts dictate your feelings, dictate your behavior. If you can control your thoughts, you can control your feelings and behavior.nThe goal to be working towards is the ability to pause and take a breath in times of panic and emotion. Realize that you're the one in charge of yourself and can consciously decide how you'd like to act in the moment. Take a breath, telll yourself that you're okay, and make a plan from there.
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If you are like me and struggle with eye contact from time to time and are short sighted, try to not wear contact lenses or glasses. That way you only see kinda where their eyes are but it feels alot easier ;)nnUse your disabilities as advantages and have a great day
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from what i figured thinking positive to initiate a slight smile is enough, also try to remember how you react when there is no person. Acting gets you a long way in my opinion, my reactions aren't that natural most of the time because i want the person to feel understanded. Just practice it in the mirror daily. Also I find I sometimes have to retain my facial emotions to not look weird, slight emotions look way more controlled :)nnConcentrated slightly smiling face or even just slight nodding seem to be the best recieved, at least i find it pleasant when im talking to someone
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Like I just stay to myself because idk what to say to people. Even if I could introduce myself or they started a convo idk what I'd say after that.
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Same here! I feel so bad when they approach and try to talk to you, but you have nothing to say to them and you can't give anything in return.
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I'm slowly getting tired of being lonely and decided to take the initiative and do something about it. I believe I'm willing to look past the anxiety and just socialize anyway. But I can't quite figure out where to start.nnOne thing I learned in therapy and through my own experience is that especially when dealing with anxiety the best way to approach it is in tiny steps. Tapping out of your comfort zone and increasing the steps as time goes on, rather than making a huge jump right away. The latter can definitely work at times too, but it didn't work out for me personally, especially with social anxiety.nnSo now I'm wondering about the specifics here. What is a way to go out and socialize without making it too challenging or scary?
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Order food at the physical location, especially a place like Subway, Chipotle, or Mod Pizza where you have to tell someone everything you want on your meal
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Whenever I get intrusive thoughts I get scared that people can secretly hear what I'm thinking.nnEdit: I know telepathy isn't possible. Perhaps it's just the shame, combined with the urgency of trying to suppress them. They just feel “loud” the worse they get. I honestly don't know how to explain it better than that. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue in order to reassure myself I'm not saying them out loud.
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Yeah anything in the realm of ‘anxiety' feels like it won't go away. I hope someday you'll be able to get passed it but its a journey for sure.
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24-year-old virgin with absolutely no ways of communicating.nnnFuckup who will never change, if I haven't changed yet I never will.
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You're addicted to feeling sorry for yourself because that's all you know and it gives you a reason to remain static and shift the blame to social or biological circumstances - which although might play a part in your suffering it's only a death sentence if you do nothing to better yourself. Ask me how I know. The only way to get better at something like that is practice and you can even do that by yourself by listening to podcasts and internalizing (to a certain extent) how people drive interesting conversations. Assuming you are not autistic, it could be worse.
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I'm quite extroverted and when I'm used to a situation((not to be confused with comfortable), I talk a lot and am a loud person. This does not mean I'm not anxious the whole time. I'll talk all day then go home and think I was so obnoxious and everyone probably hates me. I'll wonder if anyone even likes outgoing personality types. I won't say hi to people in public because I'm nervous. I'll zone out during a conversation. I wish people realized that I wasn't suddenly being rude in the moment, I was just anxious.nnEDIT: I meant extroverted when it comes to my behavior not my personality. I'm more of an ambivert in reality.
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I would like everyone to know so that they can stop asking me why or look at me weird when I avoid group gatherings. I personally talk a lot too, I'm like you OP. But ultimately I prefer to be isolated because that way, I don't have to over analyze everything I said or did, wondering if I've offended anyone. It's tiring.
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I just talked with them for a little while, they gave me some tips on how I might be able to manage my anxiety, and told me a few other things. The words “social anxiety” were never really mentioned, but they want to make sure it's not something else before jumping to conclusions, which is perfectly reasonable. I'll be talking to them again next week. I want to get a head start on dealing with this, even if it's not this particular disorder, and just something similar, so as to make sure it won't mess me up later on.
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Sounds good!nnAnxiety can be fussy to deal with, but I think you'll do well.nnJust remember that anxiety likes to trap and trick you. Important thing is that you understand what it's telling you, but also learn to dismiss. Anxiety can often mis-flag things as danger, treat everything as danger.nnThat sorta thing. Have fun!
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hey guys! i had an argument with my brother about a situation concerning social anxiety.nnlet me explain myself : there's this boy in my class, he is very shy, always alone and eating alone, never participate in classes,etc.. ni may be wrong, but im pretty sure that he has social anxiety. none day in class, my teacher was calling names (calling the roll) and the boy said u00abu00a0presentu00a0u00bb in a very shy way (not very loud) and the teacher started yelling at him because he was not loud. nni was shocked because the poor boy didn't know how to act and was probably very stressed about this. in my opinion, teachers should know that some people are very shy or worst, suffers from social anxiety. then, they shouldn't yell at people like this. nnmy brother did not agree with me. he said :u00a0u00abu00a0i think that people who suffer from social anxiety should push themselves a lot to get out of this problem, and sometimes when people yell at them, it helps them and maybe it'll push them and they will start to get out of social anxiety.u00a0u00bb nni mean.. i don't really think that's how it works, and mostly, in my opinion, it's not that easy. plus, i think that the yelling does not help at all! nnwhat do you guys think ?
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imo, social anxiety isn't healthy cuz it keeps u from being able to do simple things in ur daily life. with what you brought up, i think if the teacher couldnt hear the guy, then yeah, he (the boy ur talking about) should probably talk a little louder. but the teacher definitely shouldn't yell at him for not speaking loud enough.
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Anyone want to chat. Just having a hard time and it would be nice to have someone to talk to
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What's on your mind?
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nI don't understand how people are supposed to make friends in college. You can't talk to people in your classes because the professor is talking and most people seem to keep to themselves. The college I go to has little to no clubs. Here's a little about me I'm 20 male and I play video games and like to workout. Today I decided to go see the college's game club. Everyone there already knows one another. Basically I was the new person. I felt awkward they started playing board games and talking to each other while I sat and type out this paragraph. I go to Planet Fitness but I'm the only 20 year old there. Basically it's all middle aged people. In school I was a nobody didn't talk to much people because I didn't know what to say. I tried talking to people on Discord and in person but I think I come off to awkward or they're not interested. To be honest I don't know what to do anymore. My anxiety gets the best of me and I mess up.
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Yeah I should get out more
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So today was the first time since I got to college that I actually made a attempt to go out and make friends. After class today I went to walk around campus, not really knowing what I would find. I knew that theres hiking trails around campus and things like that. Being someone who grew up in the backwoods, and with this being the most urban area I've ever lived in, I thought maybe I could find a peaceful area outside, maybe off the beaten path where I would be able to go and study or a place where when I need it to just go and reconnect with what I feel comfortable with (the outdoors and nature), and a place where I can get away from all the hustle and bussle bullshit. I ended up outside the library and saw a really cute girl sitting on the lawn outside eating lunch. I had some food in my backpack and thought I would push myself. I walked over to her and sat down near her but not too close as to freak her out. After getting out some food, checking Reddit, and planning out how I was going to go about this conversation, I attempted to talk to her. One problem though. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but for the life of me couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth. I felt like a damn fool. Eventually after a couple minutes I realized that it just wasn't gonna happen so I got up and walked away. Did find a good spot where I ended up sitting down and doing some reading at though. Here's my question though. How do I go about actually talking to people who I know nothing about when I can't even get myself to say hello without feeling completly aquward? I feel like when I'm talking to anyone, weither it be a girl or guy my age or even a professor, I have these nervous ticks. Like today on the lawn. I was using one hand to eat but with the other I was twirling a pen between my fingers. I feel like people find that to be weird about me.nnI wish I could just live my life not being curious about what could be and just be satisfied with solitude. I the words of Ordis from Warframe,
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U/Jewggernaut
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or “oh cool anyways!” turns to other people to continue talking nn how am I supposed to feel good about myself & bUiLd SeLf CoNfIdEnCe when embarrassing soul crushing shit like this has been happening to me my whole entire life and I'm assuming it'll continue until the day I die
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don't take it personally its not your fault.just try to improve. no big deal
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nI am a 22 F and to other people I'm “attractive”and people tell me often that I'm “pretty” or I should “think about modeling”. I don't associate myself to any of those definitions at all. I don't see myself as anything other than a girl. When I look at myself in the mirror I see absolutely nothing. People come up to me and say these compliments or try asking me for my number and I do not know how to respond very well. I grew up being bullied in a very small town for 14 years with no friends and moved when I was 15. All of a sudden my world flipped up side down because it went from me being a kid spending my time all alone outside with no friends, to everyone wanting to talk to me and complimenting me and want to ask me out or whatever. I thought everyone was fibbing and lying to me, I still to this day think this because I don't think I'm pretty and I most certainly do not think I am model material. Does anyone have advice how to deal with this? I am an empathetic, introverted anxious person and I don't want to offend anyone when they ask for my number and I want to say no or to appear ignorant when I do get complimented or come off as if I'm flirting. SOS lol
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By people you mean guys of your age grp right ?nnMaybe they found you attractive.nAnd trying their luck on you. nnIf you aren't ready for relationship stuffs right now or not interested in the person who is asking your no., then just say no I'm not comfortable /too busy for friendship/ don't have time/too busy in career etc. nnIt's pretty normal. Just any sound excuse will do.nnAnd if somebody is trying harder & doesn't understand, then just say you have a boyfriend (even if you don't) Problem solved. nThey won't come again, at least for a considerable period of time.nnThe thing is, men will approach you, if they find you attractive, now some guys will over compliment as they can't figure out what else to say to impress you.nnHaving said that, any kind of friendship is mutual, both of them like each other for something.nnSo if you find somebody approaching & you kinda like him, be it personality or common interest then maybe you may end up having someone who will support you emotionally and actually love you for who you are.nnHowever, be aware of the guys who are just looking for hook ups, short term guys they will fly away after getting their selfish intention fulfilled, one sign of detecting those guys is; ALL they find good abt you is your looks, they won't be much interested in your perspective of life, they won't ask for your opinions. Also and most important sign, they will be in hurry to take things forward VERY QUICKLY.nnBottom-line is, if you're a young woman , you'll be approached by guys, it's a common thing, you can also approach ones you like, it's the age.nBut you gotta to place the filter to get the kind of person you will like. nNot just that only he will like. nAll of these are applicable only if you're ready for relationship, otherwise just enjoy your time by yourself. SAD is no joke to deal and relationship might be an added burden, but sometimes it could be worth it, if your luck clicks with right person.nnGood luck !
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I almost broke down and started sobbing on my shift this morning because life is just so overwhelming. I'm so tired of living like this. I'm tired of living in a shell. I'm sick of knowing I'll never be normal. Fuck social anxiety. I will never be able to function like a normal human being. I'll never be able to get a decent job. I'll never be able to go to school. Everything is too fucking hard. I can't take it anymore.
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Have you looked into remote jobs where you can work from home. This might not be an option. I am so sorry . I had to accept I will live a mediocre life because of my social anxiety as it only got worse as I got older sadly. Probably due to the fact it prevented me from being where my peers are now at my age(now 30 years old).
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2 big things on thisnn-the bureaucracy in the airport. regarding the bags, scanning, etc etcnn-and the flight itself, i know its irrational, as i know its unlikely something bad is gonna happen, but stil... fortunately is a short flightnnI think im more afraid of the airport bureaucracy than the flight itself, and the flight back is gonna be on a bigger, foreign airport which is even scarier
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I hope you have a good time.
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I'm hoping my story will help those who are experiencing what I went through as I felt hopeless for all these years until now. I have been seeing different doctors since I was 15 for my chronic blushing problem and they all diagnosed me with social anxiety, which I didn't understand because I didn't have any other symptoms of anxiety at the time. My blushing was getting out of control and this made me develop a fear of blushing when talking to others and being told by countless doctors it was anxiety, I actually developed full blown social anxiety as well (not just blushing, but everything that comes along with SA).nnA couple years ago a read up on beta-blockers and found a doctor that would prescribe that for me instead of the typical Xanax my docs would push on me. It massively improved my anxiety and slightly improved my blushing problem. I first started on Propanolol, but it caused weight gain so my doctor switched me to Metoprolol. I noticed more of an improvement on this one so stayed on it for about 3 years, but sometimes I would still have blushing issues and social anxiety in certain situations (although not nearly as frequent). nnA couple of months ago I was reading up on rosacea and realized that I have all of the signs of that. I never realized it because my face isn't as bad as others and is only slightly pink in the cheeks without makeup, but the facial flushing was a huge symptom so I went to a dermatologist. She told me rosacea does cause flushing which turns into a fear of blushing and can cause someone to develop social anxiety like in my case. She felt a beta-blocker was the way to go, but didn't think Metaprolol was the best one so put me on Carvedilol. nnI have to say that this is a game changer. I haven't had any blushing issues, my confidence is up, and this has helped massively with any social anxiety issues I have. I honestly feel more balanced and like a normal person where I'm not constantly thinking to myself “don't blush don't blush” when talking to others. The beta-blocker doesn't help with the rosacea side of things (she had to prescribe me a topical cream for the redness on my cheeks), but instead controls your body's response to anxiety and facial flushing. Definitely worth looking into if you have exhausted all other options!nnEdit:nnJust for clarification, I read that beta-blockers help with anxiety as well as blushing. Not just for rosacea. My doctor and dermatologist confirmed.
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Glad to hear you have been able to manage with beta blockers. After having no progress with therapy, even hypnotism, I sought ETS surgery. I felt close to suicidal at times because of blushing and the accompanying anxiety. That was 20 years ago and ETS pretty much turned off facial blushing like magic. Since the surgery I've felt the blushing sensation maybe once per year in a legitimately embarrassing situation. nAs with anything, surgery should be the LAST option.
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By exposure therapy I mean putting yourself in social situations.nn(https://www.reddit.com/poll/qybm25)
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It helps with some things, but if I have a bad experience it can make me swear off that activity for awhile
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There even was some other people my age and i didn't assume that they were making fun of me or hated me. Didn't even break a sweat. Zoloft is literally a gift from the gods
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Hmm I'm single now but if I was dating again I'd try to find a compromise, using a strap on or getting pegged or maybe an open relationship, though I get why not everyone would feel comfortable w that!
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not even the slightest notion of a friend. i'm 23. the last
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Feel like exact way I'm 21 I've been dealing with this since 16.
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Idk how to respond to them, it makes me uncomfortable :'O
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Hate is not how I'd describe it, but idk how to respond either, and i end up telling something that's cringe , i guess you can say I hate the cringe, not the compliment itself.
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I've had issues with anxiety for as long as I can remember, which has pretty much made me completely unable to initiate conversations.nnEver since elementary school, I've dreaded going to school and interacting with people. I had a few friends in elementary school, but once Junior High started, I had literally no friends. In high school, after being diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, I managed to come out of my shell a little bit, but I still only managed to make a few acquaintances. nnBy the time that I started college last year, I was feeling so lonely that I was seriously considering suicide. I talked to my doctor about my suicidal thoughts, and he prescribed me some antidepressants and recommended a therapist. This semester, I felt like the meds and therapy were finally starting to make me feel a little better. I even managed to kind of make a friend. We mostly just talked during my Biology class, and she initiated almost all of the conversations, but she was really the closest thing to a friend that I've had in years. nnnJust recently though, the semester ended, and I'm feeling more alone than ever. I wanted to keep in touch with her, but my anxiety got the best of me. Now, I have literally no friends, and on top of that, my grades are slipping and I feel like my depression is starting to come back. It's gotten to the point where the only time I get out of bed is to go to school or work. I feel like all of the improvement that I've made over the last year and a half was a waste, and the worst part is that it's all my fault.nnDoes anybody else have problems with initiating conversations or feeling lonely? I'd like to know how you learned to cope. Thanks for reading my super long post. I don't really have anybody else to talk to about this kind of stuff, so it helps to vent a little bit.
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This sounds exactly like my story. I started college this year, but I feel like I kinda made friends at the beginning of the semester, and then completely isolated myself from them because of my inability to start conversations with anyone. I'd say right now that I have one good friend, and I'll probably lose her because I'm taking next semester off to work on my issues.
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It just happened a couple of hours ago. I just can't let it go and won't get over it.nnEverything was going fine as far as SA goes...nI came in late, but the door was in the back and I found a seat quick so not much pressure there. The teacher was making some dad-jokes and everyone one was chuckling, even me. I was fine for a while. Then he said those dreaded words-
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I talk nonsense when I am nervous. At my first job they did such an introduction of the newbies without a warning. I was just standing there saying
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I came to the conclusion that everybody with social anxiety( i have it too) is selfish bc we only focus on ourselves
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Every person is selfish to a certain extend
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Hi everyone!nnAnother long-time lurker here (if there's any reddit to be afraid to post in it's going to be one with people comprised of social anxiety aha).nnI'm currently 25 years old and I'd definitely say my social anxiety is still very present and a big factor in my life. Having had a number of jobs (mostly retail, but also a few big chances in my chosen career path) I have gained experience and also a number of different social situations, being in a dingy nightclub at 6am or living with complete strangers in a shared house at university. I'm sure reading this for some younger sufferers might seem like something you couldn't imagine doing, and neither could I whilst experiencing them!nnOne bad time for me in particular was my first year at university and I had a hard time managing all sorts of emotions. One student I lived with constantly skated around the house, messing up the vinyl flooring and once put a loaf of bread in the washing machine for no reason other than because he thought it would be funny. I also came back one evening and found every fruit peeling imaginable covering the floor because he thought 'why not'. Safe to say we didn't get a penny of our deposit back. nnLooking back I can laugh and it's a story to tell, but once I confronted him, which can be explosive when you've held in anger for so long, and I had to be held back and the friendship was gone.nnSorry to ramble, but I thought some might appreciate maybe how good their uni experience was in comparison!nnI don't think I'll ever totally lose my anxiety, and it'll always be heightened over the average person's level of anxiety, but I find it best to accept yourself, especially right now in time as society seems to be bringing awareness and accepting it more widely as a real and serious mental illness.nnI felt I was very aware as a child, and I became even more aware as I noticed my passions and interests were becoming further away from 'normal' like other boys who formed popular groups and talked about football and sports. I liked to use my imagination and had adventures with people who were more typically seen as 'outcasts' but I didn't care. These were the times I'd remember most fondly and I never felt I had to act a certain way or change my personality for them. nnIt wasn't until maybe 16/17 when I found out this was a real, recognised health problem and I discovered the actual term 'social anxiety. Every teacher and parent I knew at school wrote me off as 'shy' and 'different' and it never occurred to them this was something serious to address. I'm SO relieved that children my age right now will grow up in a more educated and understanding society and hopefully they can get help so when the development into teenagers/adulthood happens, they are ready for the leap into independence.nnPlease post your own experiences below if you can, it'd be great to get some insight and stories from everyone. You don't have to read my long post, who has time for that anyway? But I hope some can relate! Stay strong and remember we are all unique individuals and each and every person matters a great deal.
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I'm 27 and have had anxiety and depression since I was about 10. I've made huge progress in my battle with depression to the point where i dont even think about it unfortunately anxiety has been more tenacious. I've come to terms with the idea that I might never be free from some amount of anxiety but its hard sometimes to look back at when i was younger in primary school and see a kid who was so much more confident and socially capable than the man i am now, someone who has to psych himself up to make a phonecall =(
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Hi everyone, I am a person who speaks very low and even sensitive to other people speaking in a loud volume, and if someone yells I break down and start to cry. So, being in a workplace where I consantly have to engage in conmunication, people often have hard time hearing me. Given the Covid situation the mask has even made it worse, the anxiety messes it up more due to which I pronounce the words weirdly or half enunciate it. I want to speak loud and clear, specially when I am try to convey something to my boss or co-workers. Does anyone have a similar problem or any practice that worked? Thanks in advance!
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Thanks for saying that! Helps. I wish there was a form where you could check a box on social anxiety and everyone would understand what you are going through.
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So previously, i've had like online relationships and what not like i've talked to people but never actually met or anything because they'd always live very far away. But, recently i downloaded tinder and started talking to this amazing sweet guy, who lives about 10mins away from me and we've planned to go on a date this weekend coming. nnI've already told him how shy and anxious and nervous i am to meet him and everything, but we've gotten along so well, on text and calling each other on a call. He also seemed very understanding about my anxiety and told me to tell him if i'm overthinking it or worried about it and he'd reassure me. nnI'm just really nervous about meeting him and all and i don't wanna bail on him because he's genuinely a loving guy but my anxiety about this is so bad i don't know what to do. If things go well, it'll be my first date and potentially my first irl relationship so obviously it's gonna be scary but it's really making me overthink and scared and anxiety filled.
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Yeah just very nerve racking for me haha
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I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ocd for about five years now. i don't really have any friends or anything any my family is completely dismissive. my family puts such a high standard for me to be great and i feel as if i keep letting them down. today i had a panic attack and my mom literally told me to get over it. i just don't know what to do anymore. i don't have anywhere to go or anyone to talk to. i just needed to rant a bit so thanks if you took the time to read this.
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Great idea!!!
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