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6iy1kMTA93KhgJB8413HQE1h0MYC0PsM
|
a479ri
|
{
"description": "not liking the Hobbes poster my girlfriend got me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not liking the Hobbes poster my girlfriend got me?
|
So my girlfriend got me a Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes poster for me, which was very nice of her but which I don't like. One of my earliest memories is of reading in the paper when Bill Watterson retired, saying that he didn't want there to be Calvin and Hobbes memorabilia and a show and all of that and to let the characters live on the page. That was something I kind of always held up as a sort of creativity purist. So to have this Hobbes on my wall, as nice a picture as it is, always kind of makes me feel like I'm discrediting the wishes of Bill Watterson. AITA? Am I just crazy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
jcgTFtbyxTHGdZDY9qo14qvuyWVmvhsw
|
axil9y
|
{
"description": "wearing vanilla to work despite my coworker's apparent aversion to it",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 68
}
|
AITA for wearing vanilla to work despite my coworker’s apparent aversion to it?
|
I work at a restaurant with a woman who, when I started working there nearly a year ago, approached me and told me I was going to make her throw up because I smelled like vanilla. Nearly everything I own is vanilla scented (subtly, like lotions etc., not drowning myself in body sprays or anything like that). She told me that she was allergic to vanilla so I apologized and said I would try to avoid wearing it but we rarely worked together anyway before.
I wore it by accident a few times when our shifts overlapped and she was pretty dramatic and snippy about it and would make comments about being sick around me. It came out that she’s not actually allergic, she developed an aversion to the smell during a previous pregnancy years ago (which I do understand happens). I was a lot more sympathetic to the issue when she literally used the word “allergic” but I also understand that it makes her feel nauseous to smell vanilla after her pregnancy.
Now, as of about two weeks ago, we work together every day. We have the same schedule and same days off. When I told her I got full time her response before any kind of congratulations was to tell me that my “vanilla days” were her days off (before knowing we had the same days off). I would have been completely okay with her pulling me aside and politely saying “hey, I’ve noticed you like to wear vanilla scented products and I just wanted to ask if you could please avoid it at work as I have an aversion from a pregnancy that makes me feel nauseous if I smell it” rather than being commanding and rude and dramatic from the get-go.
To be honest the way she’s been patronizing and telling me when I’m “allowed” to wear vanilla rather than politely asking have made me want to double down on the vanilla and wear it harder. I’m not that petty and I won’t do that, but I do feel like I shouldn’t go out of my way to avoid wearing a certain scent just because she dislikes it. Again, I’m talking vanilla scented lotion on my legs and arms applied 12 hours before shifts, not spraying myself down with sprays.
That said, I do understand that someone should not be made uncomfortable in their work place by being forced to smell a scent that makes them feel queasy.
I genuinely don’t know the correct way to handle this. If she had been polite and respectful from the beginning I would be a lot more willing to make changes. In general she tends to be really patronizing and kind of rude to me, and I do have a bit of an inferiority/people pleaser complex so I can be bad at being assertive and standing up for myself. I do want her to understand that she’s speaking to another adult who is not inferior to her in any way. We also just have a weird tense dynamic now and I know it’s because of stupid vanilla.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 42,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 26,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
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{
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 68
}
|
WRONG
|
ntP4uyvqSu04j1XT6cfhjUU7MRARcyuY
|
aaeyk9
|
{
"description": "not telling people who flirt with me I have a so",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 38
}
|
AITA for not telling people who flirt with me i have a SO?
|
So sorry if this is confusing; i have mild dyslexia and my thoughts get all jumbled!
I(24f) tend to do this when meeting new people I find attractive. I dont usually bring up my partner of 4 years (25m) in conversation unless im trying to gtfo or if they prompt me. It could be something like them asking if im seeing somebody or if they could take me our for coffee/dinner/ECT. I find that men tend to treat me differently when they know i don't have a SO (as in more charming and flirt). I personally love the attention and being flirted with, and I find myself flirting back most of the time.
I grew up with very low self-esteem and it took me years to build up the confidence i have now. So it feels nice to have "validation" from other people that i am attractive (or at least worthy of compliments).
More info: things are good with my SO. I wish we had more sex but he treats me well and worships the ground under me. I would never cheat on him. Hes the best.
So am I the asshole for letting men harmlessly flirt with me and not telling them i have a boyfriend until they ask?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 38,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 38
}
|
WRONG
|
I5SHFoOqwAFVsIdshl37Fz9PaaREx1Yv
|
aod5u6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to invite a friend of mine to dinner because of his limited diet",
"pronormative_score": 46,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AItA for not wanting to invite a friend of mine to dinner because of his limited diet?
|
Long story short is that this one guy in my friend group only wants to go to either Diners, Chicken Wing joints, or Americana-style comfort food because he (in his words) can only eat
\- Hamburgers
\- Steak
\- Chicken wings
\- Fries
Seriously, I've never seen this dude touch a piece of fruit or a salad. Some of this is because his body rejects a bunch of different types of food (lactose intolerance, his insides get all screwed up from spicy food, among a few others) but a larger factor is that he's "very picky" (again, his own words) which leads him to only want to go for the above mentioned foods. So when the group wants to go out for dinner once in a while, we're restricted to what he's able to/wants to eat. There was even a case where one person in the friend group wanted to go to this swanky Mexican restaurant downtown, but he fought it enough to convince the group to go to the local pub because they had burgers that he liked. I wasn't there, but if I were I would have pointed out to him that he could order a burger there and just take off the stuff he didn't like instead of changing the plans of the person's WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT WAS because he was more comfortable with the pub. To me, that seems incredibly selfish to not try and go along with the wishes of the person whose birthday it is. You're not going to find something you can eat at the Mexican place?
​
Anyway, am I a dick for not wanting to go places with this person or invite him over because he can't eat most types of food?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 42,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 46,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
zfQlMVAMQGbE3UGTlkCvRGv8GVTtj3cC
|
b6mdhz
|
{
"description": "being disgusted, any time I see a basketball player stunt-dunking (360 dunks, etc) during a game",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA For being disgusted, any time I see a basketball player stunt-dunking (360 dunks, etc) during a game?
|
It's the most old-man thing that I catch myself doing. I feel a wave of fury and disgust, whenever I see players doing this. I don't like basketball in general, but stunt-dunking during games is something that will always prevent me from watching becoming an avid basketball fan.
Am I an asshole for seeing it as revoltingly disrespectful? I just see it as showing absolutely no regard for the opponent, and no regard for your own team. Disrespect to the opponent, because it implies that they're so easy to beat that you've got spare energy to fuck around. Disrespect to one's own team, because your bullshit could cause you to blow the play, and you'd turn points gained into nothing but burned seconds on the clock, and lost possession.
The thing is, 99 percent of the people who agree with me on these points are mean old motherfuckers. Okay. Let's get even more honest. They're mean old RACIST motherfuckers. They'll tell you to your face that they aren't just getting mad at 360 dunking because they hate black people, but it's always pretty obvious. Obviously, I'm asking everyone to take my word for it that I really *am* just pissed off at the lack of respect for opponents and teammates, and not some nebulous anger at young black men being "uppity" or whatever 1930s-ass bullshit word you want to pick from the 1930s.
Anyway, I am wondering if I am the asshole. I almost posted this on /r/changemyview instead, but I really want to know if my views make me an asshole, before I really consider changing them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
G5VnL94KGmRK3PmrbM5HqcpqNR7h9gd0
|
b6ok3i
|
{
"description": "not wanting to attend a wedding",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to attend a wedding?
|
Less than a year ago, one of my roommates (M, 29) met a girl (F, 29) from a different country on a dating website. After 5-6 months of face timing everyday, M travels to meet F in person. It seems like they hit it off, but it just doesn't feel right to me. Not long after, M proposes to F and fills out paperwork for F to come to the US. She's on a 90-day fiance visa. He spent thousands of dollars for her to travel here, after only knowing her for less than a year. None of us talked to M about the possibility of this being a mistake.
Bit of a backstory, I've known M for roughly 10 years and lived with him for 4 years. IMO M is awkward, kind of desperate, and is always trying to please others. It feels like M is being taken advantage of, but I'm not sure. She's been here for almost a week or two now, and when we're together in a group their interactions don't feel natural.
Their wedding is coming up and he invited me and a few others to attend but I just don't feel like I should go. If I go, I feel complicit in what could be a mistake. Am I being an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
2JIrR5G5c0x3shlfR1NGubPq5MEokmFE
|
an34la
|
{
"description": "saying my girlfriends grandma should just do the world a favor and die",
"pronormative_score": 90,
"contranormative_score": 59
}
|
AITA I said my girlfriends grandma should just do the world a favor and die.
|
So, it sounds really horrible and it is.
Me and my girlfriend planned to visit her grandmother and stay for the weekend. My girlfriend said she had found a stray labrador a few weeks ago and was taking care of it. I was super excited because labs are my favorite and I have had nothing but them since I was a kid. It seemed like a good weekend.
When we get there the grandma immediately yells at my girlfriend because we are a little late due to an unexpected flat. But, she calms down and my girlfriend says she is just grumpy cause we didn't call. Fair enough. I ask to see the dog and this is where it gets bad. The poor thing is locked in the root cellar chained to the wall. Piss and shit is everywhere because it hasn't been out for weeks. She has just been tossing it chunks of meat. I immediately get pissed off because this is neglect. My girlfriend tries to calm me saying she is old and from a different time. I am just like "whatever I am getting it out now"
Poor thing is so excited to have human contact it just can't sit still. I rush it up to the bathroom to wash it off and grandma is just yelling about how it got everything covered in shit and piss. She keeps screaming at us to get it out of the bathroom because it is dirty. I really want to go slap her but my girlfriend keeps excusing her and I have a dig to clean.
I keep it in our guest room and it is just the sweetest thing. Super friendly and amicable. So we leave it in the room because we have nothing for and we run to the store to buy food, collar, leash, bedding, etc. We get a call from grandma screaming that it has torn up everything. I just say I will pay for any damage just leave it.
We get back and dog is gone. The only sign of damage is a pair of my girlfriends jeans being slightly chewed. We go back in the cellar to find the dog again. Back in the shit and piss crying for help. She won't let it stay in the rest of her house anymore with how dirty and destructive it is. I say fine and leave with the dog.
My girlfriend is trying to calm me as I rage away with the dog and says she has just always been like that and not to judge her. And I am just so angry that I yell, "The world will be better when she dies. It is a crime to treat an animal like this."
My girlfriend is in tears because she loves her grandma despite how abusive she is to her and animals. And I just honestly can't change my opinion. That was horrible animal abuse and I am disgusted by her. But, my girlfriend is just trying to keep peace and doesn't want me to hate her family. She keeps saying all this stuff to make things better but I just won't hear it. Too enraged.
TLDR grandma keeps dog in cellar for weeks, I lose my shit and say her death is the worlds gain. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 90,
"EVERYBODY": 44,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 90,
"WRONG": 59
}
|
RIGHT
|
NI1y74cXKsWFtEzK5fL5oMQFRwL5QECK
|
a2uflg
|
{
"description": "finding it odd that a friend wants to invite another friend of hers to the Christmas party we invited her to",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for finding it odd that a friend wants to invite another friend of hers to the Christmas party we invited her to?
|
So some context here. I have a friend who we (my wife and I) like and enjoy hanging out with. However, lately she seems to be double booking all her social engagements with us. For example, we will invite her over for dinner to hang out and talk. But she will arrive and then say she has to leave in an hour or so to go meet up with another friend after seeing us. We are throwing a Christmas party and inviting a bunch of our friends. We invited her along and her boyfriend who works odd shifts. She is able to make it, her boyfriend is not due to work. So she asked us if she could invite a friend of hers along.
This isn’t a big problem to us. We like meeting cool people. But it seems strange to me that she just can’t come over and hang out with us without booking extra things to do later or bringing another person along. If I was invited to go to a party and my wife couldn’t make it, I would just go myself without needing to bring along another person in her place.
AITA for finding it strange she doesn’t seem to want to just hang out with us without including other friends of hers as well?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
WKAa4SAQ9rk9zUVAIbYY616ChdjoY0fo
|
aduzcd
|
{
"description": "wanting my so to go over to her make friends house",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting my SO to go over to her make friends house?
|
I’ll try to keep this brief. My female SO has scheduled a plan to go over to her male friends house without even asking me about it. I may be being unreasonable but she knows I’m insecure about things like that. I don’t like the guy, I think he doesn’t see her as a friend but is trying for something else.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
U7uFiypmMXs81GJmcAr1caSfZsZymDhY
|
argote
|
{
"description": "not wanting my husbands nephew to come",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA - for not wanting my husbands nephew to come?
|
Sorry for the format, im on mobile. A little backstory - my husband and I bought airplane tickets for my mother in laws bday so her and his little sister can come visit us for the first time since we moved back to my hometown. ( we’ve been living here for 4 years). I’m pretty excited to see them. Later on that week, my sister in law texted my husband what flight we got, etc so she can buy a flight for her 10 yr old son to come too. I’m a little upset since she didn’t ask us if it was okay. But it’s fine. I love my husbands nephew. I’ve known him since he was 4 years old. He’s just like my husband: quiet, shy , keeps to himself but he can be quite the a-home sometimes lol. He’ll ignore you, scream at you and sometimes cuss at you. I’m just lil worried on how he will be acting around my family since he doesn’t know them at all. Plus we might have to pay for him, my mother in law and sister in law (my MIL is tight on cash and currently living paycheck to paycheck.) I’m not sure if my husbands sister will send money for him but I don’t want to ask.
I would love for him to come during the summertime with his mom and her family so he can enjoy my parents pool and do summer activities with us. I brought this up to my husband and he thinks I’m being inconsiderate since his sister has 2 other kids (under age of 5) and it will help her take at least a little break. I understand completely; taking care of 3 kids at a time can be extremely stressful.
Am I the asshole??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
z99KfCLgnoQ80HH6tzNs3407R1sTNsLz
|
aht5ap
|
{
"description": "ignoring my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring my girlfriend
|
okay buckle up cause this is a long one and im gonna do my best to do justice to both sides of the story even I do feel im in the right, anyway it started earlier today my gf and her family are getting evicted from there house even tho they were paying rent the landlord wanted to tear down the house for some reason and they don't have money for a lawyer to take him to court, anyway fast forward to today and and my best friend (im not gonna name drop so im gonna call him D) calls me today saying he needs to talk to me, ik its serious because hes a pretty goofy guy and if hes not acting atleast a bit memeish something really wrong, so anyway get on skype and hes telling me about his girlfriend of about a month whos a Mormon, (ill call her J) long story short were all seniors in high school, J gets sexually assaulted by one of her classmates, doesn't tell anyone about it besides D and her parents, her dad whos Mormon priest or some shit thinks that since she wont give her dad the name of the boy she must be some slut who was asking for it, anyway she gets her phone taken away, and now shes not allowed to speak to anyone outside her family, D gets worried, goes out and buys a flip phone for J for emergencies because he got worried about her, couple days later J's parents find the phone, she comes to school the next, covered in bruises, her fucking dad beat her over having the phone, D comes home and has a fucking breakdown, calls me were trying to figure out what to do, we realize even tho shes only 16 CPS isn't an option there usless as hell to begin with so obviously if the come up to this super nice house, of a fucking Mormon priest who works for the the state court theyre not going to do shit, anyway after about an hour, he decides hes just gonna go over and take her while theyre gone and let her stay with him (they were kicking her out so it doesn't really mater) and we hang up, anyway I text me girlfriend back after about an hour, shes obviously upset and having an attitude with me, I ask her whats wrong she says shes upset because I havnt been talking to her so I apologize and explain it was something important, not actually telling her what happened because I don't want to stress her more than she already is, which honestly was a bad idea and she says something along the lines of "oh my bad not like I had anything important to tell you" I understand shes going through a lot so im trying to be nice to be nice and I ask whats wrong and she refuses to tell me "oh whatever if you couldn't talk to me earlier you obviously don't care" which honestly really hurt ive always tried to be that boyfriend whos supportive of her but that beside the point, I asked her if it was so important why she just didn't text me saying that since the last text before that was about her moving boxes n eating chicken strips so I had no idea something was was bothering her she seemed to drop that point but was still upset with me saying I should've told her before I left but for god sake I was gone an hour, the fight kept escalating and as of right now were not talking, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
DgDvs6IpHqhLMZJlNgE9l00KRPUaAQJu
|
arlw19
|
{
"description": "being upset at my psych",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For being upset at my psych?
|
I went to refill my prescription at CVS the other day, and they told me my doctor denied the refill and said I’d have to call the office to get one. Mildly peeved, but whatever. It’s nobody’s fault. Yesterday, I called my doctor and asked for a refill on my prescription, and I thought all was good. Until I checked my Walgreen’s app, and saw they didn’t refill my usual medication, but a new, different type of the same medication used to treat PMDD.
Reasons why I am mad:
1. The doctor never asked me about switching medications, and gave me no notice that he was going to switch my medications.
2. My prescription used to be $3, and now it’s $30. I know some might think that isn’t too expensive, but it’s nice for me because the other prescription I get from him is $70.
3. I don’t think my doctor knows I have PMDD. If I recall correctly (which I may not,) my gyno only has permission to share information with my primary doctor and not my psych. So my psych has no reason to know that I have PMDD.
This feels like the nail in the coffin. My psych is kinda an asshole and egocentric, and his office is so far away it becomes a pain in the ass just to show up for checkups. Because of this, I’m thinking about switching to having my primary doctor prescribe my two medications.
AITA for being pissed, and is my decision to switch prescribers a little over the top?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vH73eHXCXB3sueQ9aIagyOdYUjgzkg4u
|
a9d1kb
|
{
"description": "denying my ex friend a penny for his dad's birthday",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for denying my ex friend a penny for his dad's birthday
|
Ok so way way back when I was like maybe 8 I was walking down the train tracks with my ex friend we lived right next to the train tracks and I would sometimes put pennies on the tracks so that they would get squashed and look cool. so Anyway we were talking and he thought that it was super cool and his dads birthday was coming up so he asked if he could have a penny to squash for his dad, I only had 2 pennies one for me and one for my older sister and I didnt want to go back to my house so I told him that I didn't have any he could use and that he should just go get one from his house and that I would wait here for him. He said that that was dumb and that I should just give him my penny I said that was dumb and that he could go get his own anyway we got in a whole argument and then we stopped talking I was sitting down by the track and he was throwing rocks at a tree just ahead of me I asked him to stop as I said he might hit me in the head he ignored me and kept throwing than he picked up a rock the size of like a 10 yr olds fist and threw it but the rock ended up hitting me. Now I probably wouldnt have cared about him hitting me in the head with a rock if he came and helped me up but he just ran away. So I was left there bleeding from my head and I didn't know what to do so I ran to my house and went to my mom, I ended up having to get stitches. I ended up never talking to him again and he never even said sorry. Now the reason I feel like I may have been the asshole is because I feel like the situation was easily avoidable and I really should've just given my penny to him. he threw the rock at my head but he did it on accident so is he really the asshole.
Idk
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
OLexJnIY7ZeYXs4C2YQ6IMD2nTwP9AqM
|
b6x1zk
|
{
"description": "being uncomfortable by someone else doing kink stuff as a coping tactic in public",
"pronormative_score": 102,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being uncomfortable by someone else doing kink stuff as a coping tactic in public?
|
I'm at college in the UK, so my friendship group is made up of teens between ages of 16 and 19. I'm kinda friends with a girl, we'll call her M, as we have some mutual friends. She has some form of anxiety disorder to the point where she has a panic attack every 1/2 days. From very brief discussions I know that it was caused by some trauma from a while ago. As a coping mechanism she participates in 'little culture', basically that she kinda regresses to a child like state (5 ish) and acts like a child for a period of time. She'll skip around the room, giggle like a child, move things around to make people kind of annoyed with her (she likes to describe herself as a 'bratty little') and carry around a soft toy that she refers to as her 'stuffies'. On a couple occasions she has watched TV shows for small children (teletubbies, Peppa pig, etc) on her phone at full volume whilst sucking her thumb. She talks about how she wished she had a 'daddy' (someone who 'parents' a little) who could 'punish' her. Everyone in our group is aware that she gets off to it.
The thing is, I don't care what she does at home. M is an adult, she can do what she wishes when it comes to the bedroom and in private. But the fact that she does all of it in public is embarrassing for our group as it draws attention due to the 18 year old who is hugging a teddy bear watching Peppa pig at full volume. But when I've tried to talk to someone else they call me an arsehole since she's been through traumatic experiences and this is how she copes, which makes me feel guilty for my opinions. It's just a really awkward situation where I don't know what to do, or even if I should do anything since I might be completely in the wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1FaBTCpqeOMIwo6qNgnLefJze45f9D0Y
|
auatsf
|
{
"description": "harassing my ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for harassing my ex?
|
The title may lead you to jump to conclusions, but please read the whole thing.
So this is a pretty long situation and it might get confusing, but seeing as this has been on my mind and I recently discovered this sub, I decided to make a post on here.
So about a year ago I was dating this girl I had known for a while for about a year. I was happy in the relationship, but also not at the same time. I was basically the only one who ever tried to start a conversation, plan dates, etc. She would also come up with excuses to avoid talking to me. I wanted to end our relationship but at the same time I didn't, because talking to her was one of the few things that made me happy (I suffered and still do from major depression.)
So, one day I started up a conversation like usual and all was well until I asked her if anything happened between us. She then replied with how she was going to break up with me and explained how she was going to break up with me because she rushed into the relationship too fast (which she said aftef we had dated for a year) and how for most of our relationship she didn't care about me in the way I cared about her. I handled the situation as civilly as possible, but I was of course heartbroken. After a while we said our goodbyes and went about our daily lives.
About a month after we broke up, she had made a tweet on Twitter and I had replied to it with some sort of meme. I don't even remember what it was but I remember it really wasn't anything bad. The next day I wake up with an angry DM about how I was harassing her. Now, I am a pretty rude person, but none of the stuff I say is meant to be taken personally. She knew this from when before we were dating and during our relationship, so I found it odd. I replied to her saying that I wasn't trying to be mean to her and that I was sorry if she took offense to it. She had accepted my apology and asked me about my friends. I got worried because my friends had a reputation for being assholes. They had replied with stuff that was basically insulting to her. I had never told them to do this and I was pretty surprised that they did this. I told her that I didn't tell them to do what they did and that if I did anything similar again that it was purely ironic and not meant to be taken literally. She said okay and it basically ended there.
Fast forward to September or October of last year, when TikTok was huge. I, of course, thought the memes were pretty funny and I made an account to do some of my own. I stumbled across my ex's account and decided to make a duet with one of her videos. I didn't even do anything that was offensive, plus the only reason I did it was because I was under the impression that she would understand that I was being ironic. Some time passed and I saw on her Snapchat that she had posted a story where PEOPLE were harassing her. I had feared the worst because my friends had made accounts as well and we made stupid videos with each other.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
JhIchn8k51fy4FTHjLyaZ1PiM8B4IG7o
|
b2q7qt
|
{
"description": "leaving low tips",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for leaving low tips?
|
So there was an event at a bar/club I bought a ticket for online, *pre-paid* - but when I got there, even though I had a ticket, they were unable to let me in due to "max capacity".
I mean, normally I don't take it to heart and either wait or find somewhere else, but this was something that I paid for, so I figured it's not fair since I technically paid to be part of that 'capacity'. There were a few others in the same boat as me who they had to do that do who were also frustrated.
Eventually I got in, but I was super aggravated because I ended up missing over an hour of the event because of this, and while I was able to eventually enjoy my night I found myself leaving low tips, since I was quite livid (and felt I lost some of my money's worth).
Later on I felt kind of bad because I realized it's probably not the servers fault. AITA though?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
I8rWFYTgoCTi9trDAm14yEScKqQZxTm9
|
b091nv
| null |
AITA for workplace disagreement
|
I'm 19, I work at a pizza place as a driver. Also there is a pizza maker and his adult son who makes deliveries, they have been there longer than I have. The adult son is a little bit odd and definitely has something mentally wrong, nothing extreme.
Nov- boss told me I was getting a raise. night that I was supposed to get it, the pizza maker was cashing me out. I said "I think I'm supposed to get a raise tonight" to which he got instantly angry and said he doesn't want to know about it. When I went to ask my boss he told me it has to wait now and it's just between the two of us. I later found out the pizza maker's son is yet to get a raise in the entirety of him working there.
Jan- I'm back after a month because of a problem between me and the boss where i was the ass. I was given a hundred dollar bill to pay for food and it was fake. My boss wanted me to pay out of pocket for it. I told him no way. Eventually he said something like "you think I'm going to pay for your screw up?" to which I told him "fuck you, I quit".
We made up, but the pizza maker treats me differently and gives me more non-delivery work.
I've also noticed a pattern of the pizza maker's son getting the really good tip deliveries ALMOST EVERY TIME
My coworker also told me the pizza maker talks behind my back about how I leave early a lot to "avoid cleaning" and how I should be watched around the register because I can't be trusted.
The incident was this Saturday. I had been waiting my turn for a delivery . Finally, I was up, but it was for a $5 discounted delivery right down the road to the front desk of a motel. We usually have a $10 minimum. In my eyes this delivery was a favor to the front desk guy because they distribute our menus. As I was leaving the pizza maker's son pulled up, which would make him next in line for a delivery when he gets back. I told the pizza maker as I was leaving there's no way this delivery should count. As I was coming back the pizza maker's son was leaving with a $50 delivery.
chain of events
Me (angry): "how is that fair that he gets to go next. that shouldn't count"
pizza maker, matching my tone: "What does it say in the machine?"
Me: "it doesn't matter it's done as a favor"
pizza maker: "go talk to the boss if you have a problem"
Me: I will, don't get mad if when I do and I get offered a raise because I actually deserve it"
pizza maker: "at least [my son] makes boxes and cleans cans without being asked"
me: "who cares if he does it without being asked? I do it twice as fast and am way better at my job"
at this point the boss entered from the kitchen and asked what's going on
today I got a call from my boss saying i need to apologize or be fired basically even though my boss doesn't think I was in the wrong, he just would have no choice because the pizza maker is threatening to quit
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
L8zmVom4XXZvc2m50uuf8bMYTxzAtEFN
|
ak66nv
|
{
"description": "kicking my girlfriend out my house kinda",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kicking my girlfriend out my house kinda?
|
So I'll try keep this as short as possible, me and my gf have been dating for half a year, she now spends everyday at mine and sleeps over, I don't ask her for rent and she does not contribute to bills. I live in relative luxury compared to her rented room (which is a reason why we are always at mine). Top of line appliances etc, anyway she asked me if she could bring a bulk of clothes over to wash, tumble dry and iron. She brings over five bin liners of clothes which I didn't have a problem with until the clothes just have been sitting here for weeks on end. She gets around to washing most of them and ironing them all after much nagging from me but she left all the ironed clothes out across my living room and sure I am a clean freak but literally it was clothes everywhere she had left out and not bothered to pack anything up. After two days like this I tell her to pack it all up since I've had enough of being uncomfortable in my own living room. She gets in a bit of a mood and I just tell her that I hate nagging her constantly to clean up after herself to which it devolves into a bit of an argument about how she cleans all the time etc and that I am messy to which I tell her when I lived alone I didn't have half as much house work to do and she just says fine she'll go back to hers, she takes one bag of clothes and leaves. Am I really the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QsT9AFGfX8Bn7ijzZKp79mIw8qziwcRG
|
az6qwr
|
{
"description": "not responding",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not responding?
|
Hello everybody,
I was lonely so I made a psot to r/penpals. It went quite good, found few new friends and loneliness is rather gone now. But I have a struggle with one guy. We switched quite fast to Whatsapp, because both of us find reddit chat/messages bit uncomfortable. We talked quite a lot, had laugh, had troubles. But then he starts to be bit unpatient with answers (I really don´t want to reply right away). Then he wanted few photos what I am doing. What I am eating... still okay. But then he starts to be bit sexual, wanted my man stuff photo and things like that. I don´t really be nude, not even sending pics to stranger. He started with thoughts that when he comes we should sleep together in bed (I said NO!), we should bath together and doing massages each other.
I was trying to explain that I am straight, Christian, male and I really can not do things like that. By his answers I deducted he was laughing at me. But I know that I promised him to don´t ghost, but I haven´t wrote him anything for a month and honestly I am bit of relieved, but feel bit like an asshole too that I ghosted.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
LEJ20Y9dY4BZoMRvLocDoQFJBlNE1v6t
|
aufty2
|
{
"description": "continuing to volunteer with worship activities for my university's christian group, while secretly no longer believing in god",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for continuing to volunteer with worship activities for my university’s Christian group, while secretly no longer believing in god?
|
I became a Christian almost two years ago, however recently I have realized that I don’t really believe that anymore. I haven’t told any of my Christian friends from the campus ministry yet. However, I still volunteer with worship activities such as singing or playing guitar in the worship band, running sound, lighting, working the cameras for services that are streamed online, etc.
I mostly do it because I want to be an audio engineer as a future career, and this is good experience to put on a resume. Plus it’s just plain enjoyable for me.
I kind of feel bad though, like in an unethical sort of way, how I’m acting like I’m a believer and leading others in worship, but I secretly don’t believe in god. I know that hypocrisy is a big issue in the church.
I’m also sort of worried that if I come clean about not believing in god, they will no longer allow me to play in the band, or run tech. So I’m keeping it a secret. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
4A6IfEVVmYpbRgKLHgjMfmT4kFyEeGIq
|
akn7gl
|
{
"description": "exposing a friend's semi-secret social anxiety in front of our colleagues",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for exposing a friend's semi-secret social anxiety in front of our colleagues?
|
I have a friend who is generally quite talkative and "high". A few weeks ago, she casually said that she has social anxiety during a conversation of ours. I think I changed the subject to something more lighthearted and the issue was not brought up for about a month.
However, yesterday, whilst she was having a small gathering with some coworkers during the hazy transition time between lunch and work and causing a ruckus, I walked over and said, "You know, you are probably the most social socially anxious person I know". It wasn't as awkward as it sounds now. I believe I small-talked for a bit before uttering the phrase above.
None of our colleagues took the comment seriously (mostly because she did not demonstrate any behavior that could point to social anxiety), but she has since blocked me from most non-work-related social media platforms and refuses to engage in any conversation.
I could have thought about it more thoroughly before I said the sentence, but I doubt that the minimal, if any, repercussions that ensued could warrant such a drastic reaction from her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
aE8PjBFGlQJLhX8QrHSKQVxxZVZP9uaG
|
ac1lur
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my girlfriend for getting dinner with another guy",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my girlfriend for getting dinner with another guy?
|
So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now. We’ve had our ups and downs (As all relationships do) but things have been going really well lately. Today I left for vacation with my family and asked my girlfriend what her plans were for the evening. She told me that she was meeting up with her friends step brother in New York City to grab dinner.
Now her “friend” is someone she hasn’t spoken to much in the last few months after a bit of a falling out. They’re starting to talk again but they haven’t really hung out yet to my knowledge. I have never met her friends step brother before and never even heard her mention him. So when I asked why she was getting dinner with him in the city she said “because I’ve known him for a really long time” and she could feel my concern growing. I got upset with her saying that if I were to pull something like this she would lose it and that there’s a huge double standard happening here. She’s telling me I’m getting upset over nothing. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
zuelusAgYkw0vf45kY7iaP1yMwc3xNQH
|
a9zbxj
|
{
"description": "telling my friend how I really feel about her abusive actions towards me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for telling my friend how I really feel about her abusive actions towards me?
|
Hi all :D
I was just wondering if I would be the asshole if I told my former friend how her actions made me feel; I'm a victim of child abuse, and as a result, I developed some issues with anxiety and depression. My friend is very aware of this and has even attempted to help me when I needed it, however as our friendship went on she began acting more and more disrespectful towards me.
​
We had an argument in august when she defended someone who called me an attention w\*\*\*\*, even when I told her he reminded me of my father's actions, and told her she should be more understanding as she too, has had similar experiences as me. She said some very cruel words towards me and stopped talking to me for a few days. I apologized as I missed her friendship, and I assumed we'd be okay.
​
She was very distant towards me afterwards, and my anxiety swelled up inside me and I began worrying if she hated me. At the same time, her girlfriend, my close friend, stopped talking to me as much so I assumed she had something to do with it. All I did was warn her that I'm starting to worry that she hated me, and she got mad at me again and blocked me. This hurt me alot as she didn't even allow us to talk things through, and it was around the time my dog died so I was already very sad. I started cutting myself.
​
By chance, we met again at the local mall. We make up, and she agrees to be friends and we discuss boundaries. I told her that her blocking me for no reason hurt me alot and worsened my earlier state, and that because of that I can't forgive her. But I was willing to be friends with her as long as we didn't get too close. She got really mad at me the next day while I was asleep and said a bunch of really mean things about me and cut me out again. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
rceAVcWDdLkanDqTpBv0bDDJwvCJDabP
|
apveoc
|
{
"description": "having a female friend on instagram",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having a female friend on instagram?
|
I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, I wouldn't say weve had the easiest relationship but we've made it this far so I think that's saying something.
There is a woman I met at the gym(let's call her Jen) that I have been friends with since I started going there about 2ish years ago (it's a crossfit type facility so think lots of individual classes for working out). We have never hung out outside of the gym, and never really been alone together besides short conversations by a squat rack or something. Jen left the gym because of the cost maybe a year and a half ago, and since then, the only way we have communicated is via Instagram messages, which my girlfriend can see if she wants to. We still talk regularly(once a day or so), honestly talk is a strong word, most of our communication involves funny gym memes, cool cabins, or cute furry animals. We generally talk positively about my girlfriend and Jen is well aware of my relationship. We have never crossed a line of flirting that I am aware of.
I have offered numerous times for my girlfriend to meet her or do a double date or something but she doesnt want to.
I assume this partially stems from the fact that 1. Jen and I have quite a few things in common and 2. She's somewhat cute. She's older than me and while yes she looks good for her age, there are reasons why if I was hypothetically single I would not be interested.
If given the opportunity, I would definitely hang out with her(as friends) to do some rock climbing or weightlifting since we share those interests but I would never do that if my gf wasn't comfortable.
Despite all of this, my girlfriend seems to loosely tolerate this friendship, but takes any opportunity to make fun of it or make it look suspicious.
AITA for still being friends with this girl? Or is having "girl" friends just always going to be a weird and suspicious thing? Is this just my girlfriend projecting her own insecurities, or insecurities about our relationship? Do I need to put more work into our relationship to get rid of those insecurities?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
avxgHwfBvzr59Hn4ESHgOA3NLGp0VL0I
|
afozxw
|
{
"description": "leaving work early on my last day to watch football",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving work early on my last day to watch football
|
This might be a shp idk, but I suddenly feel guilty about it. So today was my last day at a job as I started a new job this week. I put in my two weeks notice, but told my now former boss if he needed more time then that I could helpon the weekends for another week or two. He asks if i could work this weekend to train my replacement and I happily agreed. We went out yesterday and I pretty much just had him shadow me and learn the job. Today I shadowed him and gave him advice as we went. Now this being his second day he was pretty slow, which didn't bother me much except I wanted to be home in time for the start of the football game. About half way through the route I realized this was going to be a problem. Long story short I leave early leaving this guy on his second day to finish the route. Its not a difficult job and he pretty much had the basics down so I felt confident that worst case scenario he wouldn't screw things up. Our best accounts were completed and our last couple accounts were pretty much trash. Still now I feel guilty I ditched the new guy never to be heard from again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
h7uJuwnZCu3gatDp5sCEIq2TPOkdynew
|
awwfj6
|
{
"description": "not feeling guilty for giving someone herpes",
"pronormative_score": 205,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not feeling guilty for giving someone herpes?`
|
So I (22f) slept with someone about a year ago. They gave me genital herpes. I later learnt that they knew they had herpes but didn't think it was important to tell their partners.
So fast forward to a few weeks ago. I met a guy (25m) and we start talking, we flirt over text a bit and we decide to meet up. Before anything happens I tell him I have herpes and give him something information on it, I also give him a couple of websites so he can do his own research if he wants to. I'm on anti-virals, always use protection and never have sex curing/immediately after an outbreak.
As you can guess, he catches herpes. This was always a risk, I told him this more than once, I even gave him a few days between telling him and us hooking up so he could research/let it sink in. I also told him explicitly that it was cool if he didn't want to have sex anymore.
Anyway, he calls me up and tells me, well he shouts it at me. I understand he's upset but he's saying really awful things about me, blaming me for what happened. I try and calm him down 'cause I know they actual worst thing about herpes is when you first have it and you suddenly feel very dirty.
He calls me up multiple times to shout at me and call me names. At one point he asks me how is he going to tell his family (why???). After he calls me a diseased whore I tell him that I'm going to block his number if he doesn't stop and he says I should take responsibility for what I've done. I hang up, send him some forums for people with herpes so he can have people to talk to and block him.
I spoke to a friend (she doesn't know him, didn't give her any details about him) and she says I should be more sympathetic 'cause it was kind of my fault?
I feel like I did everything in my power to keep him informed and that ultimately it was his choice, the only other thing I can really do is not have sex with anyone unless they know their status which like 90% of people don't.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 203,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 205,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
jbdRwW4poNZV7zYUmBdJSiVx2Ingt2XZ
|
aytsr4
|
{
"description": "wrecking an autistic girls romance",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I wrecked an autistic girls romance?
|
This is complicated so please hear out the back story, tldr at the end. My boyfriend and I [both 25] live in a big apartment complex with a dog park that allows for a bit of a social life within the community. We get to know some of our neighbors. A girl started showing up with her dog and she was pretty obviously somewhere on the autistic spectrum, very sweet and friendly but slim to no awareness of social cues, personal space, things like that. I have no idea how old she is, I’d guess from 14-twenties. I think I recall her talking about a school dance so I think she might be in high school. She stares a lot and makes people uncomfortable so a lot of our neighbors avoid her. I’ve met her dad a couple times, he is also very kind and friendly.
Today my boyfriend comes back from the park and says something like “[girl] is down there again with that guy who is always getting close to her, I felt weird so I left”. I had no idea what he was talking about and pressed for details, he joking said something like “idk he’s probably trying to smash” and I got really worried. Our balcony overlooks the park and I saw the 2 of them sitting on a bench, she was hugging his arm and leaning her head on his should as they both laughed and talked. I’ve met this guy once or twice and he didn’t seem to be on the spectrum as far as I could tell and I also remember him being an adult probably 20ish or college aged, to be fair I could be misremembering. My boyfriend thinks he is probably 16-19. My worry is this guy knows she can easily be taken advantage of. I am in no way a professional at identifying people’s various disabilities, intentions, measuring peoples capability, or even guessing ages. I just don’t want something terrible to happen to her.
Best case scenario she found someone who understands where she is coming from, who doesn’t care or notice the things other people shun her for, and they are a couple of teens with a crush on each other. I really hope this is the case.
Might I have a responsibility to say anything to anyone? My boyfriend thinks I should mind my business and they are just a couple of kids who get each other. I’d hate to steal this bit of happiness from her if it’s harmless. I got into plenty of mischief with boys in high school and wouldn’t want to take that from someone else. I’d hate to tattle and her parents make her stop spending time with him, especially since she has a hard time making connections and she seems to be happy hanging out with him. But if he could be taking advantage of her, I cant stop worrying about what could happen if I don’t say something.
WIBTA if I speak up and wreck things for her?
TLDR autistic girl seems to have a romance with someone who could potentially be taking advantage of her disability for his own purposes...but he might also just be someone who understands her.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
YeAJRL1gWopMszosA37PZqcrphwd5QFI
|
a2c7ya
| null |
AITA in this situation between my sister and me?
|
My sister always has something to say whenever me and my mom are arguing, and she always has something bad to say about me and takes my mom’s side regardless of whether she heard what we were arguing about or if I was right. She always does this, and one time she kicked me for no reason. So one day I called her a fucking bitch. She lies to my father, saying that I cursed at everyone in this house when I only cursed at her, so he almost kills me.
Also, I broke my doorframe a little when I was upset, and now my dad’s mad at me for some reason about it even though it’s MY fucking door and he stays here one day a week...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
SWn0sxFcwrKJMVPHdQWqAfxFUPsLEOkR
|
b5ec7u
|
{
"description": "dropping bags of dog poop in the street",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for dropping bags of dog poop in the street?
|
First off, I've never owned a dog. I live in a relatively densely populated and popular walking area. Every week on trash day I wheel my trash can out in the morning and in the evening when I get back from work, there will usually be at least one bag of dog shit at the bottom of my empty trash can. For the first few weeks I just left it there and wheeled the can back into my barely one stall garage, because I have no outdoor property. But the stench of leaving the shit in my garage is unbareable, maybe it's because I've never had a dog and I'm not use to the smell of dog shit. But by the 4th day, the smell of rotten dog shit makes me dry heave as I'm heading to work. So now when I get home on trash day I just reach in the can take out the bag(s) and leave them on the street.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aedf09
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{
"description": "taking the parking spot",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking the parking spot.
|
Ok normal scene. PACKED parking lot on a Saturday. Driving up and down aisles and 100% of the spots are occupied. Bingo, I see someone 5 spots ahead shut their hatchback. Stop the van with just enough room for hatchback to reverse out and wait for the free spot.
I see a white sedan coming from the opposite direction and make the same manoeuvre. There are exactly zero spots available. Reverse lights just engaged on the hatchback. Oh h*ll no! White sedan is crazy if she thinks that spot is hers. I put my blinker on just in case it's not obvious. (I probably should have done this immediately when I stopped. It was an oversight but in my mind not a fatal one.)
White sedan is not phased. Persists in appearing as though she is entitled to hatchback's spot. The nanosecond hatchback is clear of my van, I'm in the spot. White sedan is honking and visibly in disbelief.
I give her my best 'too bad, too sad' look and get on with my day. Am I the asshole here? Was my fatal error the delayed indicator justifying her entitlement to the parking space? I know I'll get all the indicator-or-die people piling on so I just want to be clear I always indicate to change lanes or otherwise in traffic so please keep comments and judgements relative to the parking scenario above only. Thanks.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aha8lj
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{
"description": "selling gift card for face value",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for selling gift card for face value
|
My grandparents bought me a $40 gift card for a shop i haven't shopped at in a while for Christmas. While I appreciated the gift I just don't really like that shops stuff anymore. So instead of wasting the money by not using it or buying something I don't like I sold it on Facebook.
I still got $40 and I got myself some new shirts from Kmart.
Well 5 days after I sold it grandma sees the Facebook post and starts commenting and messaging me saying she's not happy because you shouldn't sell Christmas gifts and I've hurt her feelings and ruined her night????
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aqh1vn
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{
"description": "not cuddling my gf because I'm scared of sleep paralysis",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not cuddling my gf because i'm scared of sleep paralysis?
|
If I sleep on my back or side I almost always get sleep paralysis and it scares me so I force myself to sleep on my stomach. Sometimes that doesn't even help because I sometimes still get sleep paralysis but at least I don't have to look at whatever is on me. My gf thinks it's bullshit
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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gsK7BAf1oGGBi2BpQ0P13HKvyA8L4J1a
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aued28
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{
"description": "wanting my gf to shave",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for wanting my gf to shave.
|
Simple question. My girlfriend enjoys recieiving oral but if I do it and she hasn't shaved down there in a while it makes my tongue sore. Sometimes she'll shave of her own accord but I feel like I might come off as a huge jerk if I bring it up.
So my question is do you think it'd be ok to bring up?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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9ve1hr
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{
"description": "pushing an abortion on my ex gf",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for pushing an abortion on my ex GF ?
|
Sorry if there are big mistakes, english is not my first language.
All of this happenned in the span of 5 years but I still feel guilty deep down.
​
I dated my best friend for 7 years (from 16 to 23yo) before we broke up and went our separate ways because even though we loved each other, things didnt work out properly and felt we had come to a point where it made no sense to stay together.
(YEAR 0) She moved out of state for school and we used this time to put some distance between us while maitining contact through texts/internet.
​
(YEAR 2) Forward 2 years and I'm just fooling around and having one night stands while she just got out of an ugly relationship so we decided to go on holidays with our group of friends.
Everything was fine but one night we drunkingly had sex. From then on we started hooking up on and off until she met her new BF.
She called me few months later to tell me she was pregnant. At first I was happy, because I thought she was gonna tell me that it was from her new bf she had been with but turns out that after doing tests, it was mine.
​
She wanted to keep it, and by all means she could have : she was well off in life (stable job, no debts, fully paid 4 room app, living in the suburbs of a big city), always loved kid and would for sure make a great mom.
I wasn't sure what to say, so I gave her all of my medical records since my family doesnt have a good one and told her to think about it carefully.
​
On the following days, I flipped the questions on all sides but came to the conclusion that I didn't want her to have our child.
My bad medical record scared me and while SHE was ready to be a mom, I wasn't ready to have a child of mine out there. She told me that I didn't need to be a father figure, that I didn't even need to recognize it as my own but the fact was that her BF, while understanding the situation, wasn't all too happy with it.
We argued for weeks about this, until we came to the point where having an abortion wasn't gonna be legal in our country.
​
She half-agreed and we went through with it. After it happenned I was with them in medical care when her BF said that they should break up. I let them have their time and when he left I tried going back in but she literally shouted at me to disappear from her life.
I let her know that if she needs help or someone to talk I was always there, like I always had been even before we were dating but she heard none of that and kept screaming at me while crying. We cut off all contact for 2 years.
​
(YEAR 4-5 and PRESENT) We made contact again, and even if we are not best of friends anymore, we still are good friends.
Now I live with my girlfriend and she lives with her BF and his son, she's an happy mom. I got to talk with ex-gf's sister and learned that she went through depression because she felt she killed her baby by having an abortion and couldn't imagine getting her own anymore. I never got to talk about it with her and everytime I try to put it on the table she says "Another time.."
​
Am I an asshole for putting her through this while she could have safely ensured, alone, the happinness of her child?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aanap5
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{
"description": "respecting authority, even though I'm black",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for respecting authority, even though I'm black?
|
Ok, first time poster here, and I've been having this thought in the back of my mind for a few days now, ever since I've have this conversation with a black co-worker of mine. Some backstory before I start though. I was bullied though out my middle school and high school life by other black people for how I walk, talk, act, and saying I'm not "black". This has cause me to become VERY guarded towards any black person I see (my Therapist says I have PTSD). Cause of this, I have used video games and anime to escape from my trauma. Thanks to most fictional characters of the media I prefer being white, and the white people I've interacted with, has cause me to believe that white people are kind, loving individuals, while black people are cruel, spiteful animals. Ever since I started working though, I've slowly come to realize that the world is made up of all kinds of people, good and bad, regardless of skin tone.
Back to the topic at hand. I was at work, minding my own business, when the store manager (I worked at retail), a white man, started to asked some questions. I tried to answered them the best I could, but I got nervous while answering them. He told me though, that I told him what he wanted to hear, and to not worry about it. After he left tho, I started feeling guilty, since how I answered his questions, made it feel like I sold out my coworkers. So later, I brought this up to my black co-worker, the one I talked about earlier. He said dont worry about, tho he told me that I shouldn't have gotten nervous. I told him that the store manager was in a position of power, and therefore, had authority. He told me that I didn't need to respect that, just like how I dont need to respect police officers (being that my father is retired navy, as well as having both my mother and stepfather in corrections, you can see how that would offend me). I asked him why. He told me it's because all these officers (tho I'm pretty sure he only means white officers) are killing all these "innocent" black people for no reason, and cause of that, he hates cops. I told him that's because the media only focuses on the race, and never on the story, which always has two sides. He looked at me with a look of disdain and flat out told me I was a uncle Tom (apparently, it means I will sellout my own race, if it will put me on good terms with "The White Man").
That why I'm writing this post now. I mean, I know that I prefer white people (thanks to my bullying), and I know that we used to be slaves a long time ago (even tho that was a long time ago and that's no excuse for our race to act how its acting now), but that doesn't mean I'm going to exclusively snitch on black people only. A crime is still a crime. It just means I'm going to respect the officer. Why? Cause they exist to keep YOU safe.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b3hhuw
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{
"description": "telling fiancée that my first kiss was with her, when in reality it was with my close friend the night before our first date",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling [24m] fiancée [24f] that my first kiss was with her, when in reality it was with my close friend [21f] the night before our first date?
|
The night before my first date with the girl who is now my fiancée, my best friend (a girl) gave me my first kiss ever, as "practice" and to give me a "confidence boost" (quotes because those were her words) before the date.
I used to have a big crush on my friend, but by the time of our kiss, I had long moved on, and saw her as just a close friend like I do today. I didn't want to tell my fiancée, because I don't think it's a big deal. And she really liked the idea of being my first "real kiss", so I didn't want to ruin that thought for her.
Also my friend has a flirtatious personality and is always teasing people, guys in particular (and me included), which my fiancée doesn't like, even though she still likes my friend. We hang out together once in a while, she comes to her place to have dinner, usually with her boyfriend of the current month (she changes relationships a lot). I don't want to make things awkward, that's also why I haven't said anything.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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rBXp837K6HOHjZEdH7rmR2yXd2RLV9yT
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b19p2q
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{
"description": "leaving my trans boyfriend right after I found out he was",
"pronormative_score": 464,
"contranormative_score": 24
}
|
AITA for leaving my trans boyfriend right after I found out he was ?
|
Alright so before you get on and yell at me for anything. It's not exactly as harsh as the title might suggested it. So I was dating this guys let's call him John. John and I were an happy couple, I lived everything about him. His personnaility was amazing his physique was a tad feminine but I actually liked it a lot. I was falling in love pretty hard and we never really had a complete relation or sex. We've been together 7 months and he pleasured me but I actually never had the occasion to pleasure him in return. He has told me about 3 months into the relation he had a micropenis and was really shy about this so I didn't really mind doing cuddles and stuff without an actual penetration because I respected him and his insecurities.
Now, foward to 7 months into our relation (about 2 weeks ago). I talked to him and asked him if I could do anything to make him more comfortable because I care for him and I wanted to show him it's not a problem to me. Which really isn't as I'm bi and I don't have any issues with sizes. He said no and told me in a really rude way that it was none of my business and I should just enjoy what he is giving me. I was really sad and frustrated so I left his place and went to a common friend of our. The friend told me that John made her swear to not say anything but in fact she used to be a girl and is on transition for 6 years now but never did the operation. I felt betrayed and lied too. I was so angry. I slept it off.
The next day I went back to his place and ask him to tell me the truth. He told me I was stupid and it should not matter. I replied it does matter if it's a lie. He told me I was an asshole and I should just love him the way he his and he shouldn't have to specify he was transgender.
He clearly soenst see my point and at this point I broke up with him.
Now everyone seems to think I'm this transphobic asshole who left this poor person and his family are sending me messages almost everyday to remind me how awful I am and how bad I broke his heart.
So Reddit, am I the asshole here ?
-sorry for my bad English I'm French and my grammar is pretty weak
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6v3l3
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{
"description": "feeling hurt about this",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling hurt about this?
|
This is some basic teenage bs and now that I read it its chaotic and some stuff may be irrelevant but idk, even few judgments would be great.
Last summer I was on holiday at my godfather's . I liked one girl whom i ve kind of known from last year when i visited the same place. I didnt fall for her on first sight, but she was really sweet, interesting and pretty. We havent really stayed in any contact except following eachother on ig and stuff that comes with it. Anyways, fast-forward to this year, i ve developed crush (during the about year between two visits) on her but i didnt have much expectations. For the first 2 weeks i havent even seen her and i was kinda down about it and i decided that i want to at least meet her. On the next occasion i told my godsister that i liked her during last holiday, which wasnt entirely truth, but huh i didnt want her to know that i liked her right now because i would feel stupid and whatever. Next day when i went to pick up my friend from bus station godsister insisted that she would take me to it. Long story short we met crush soon after, she was waiting for us on next corner even though they dont usually hang out together. When we picked my friend up they offered to take us to play pool which we accepted. After couple of games(i was playing best pool of my life lol) they said they were going for "a little walk". We waited quite long and played other stuff in arcade( i mean they left without even offering to pay for pool but that didnt really bother me much since we would have payed however but idk). After a while we went to grab some wi-fi and asked them if we should wait or what to which we got "oh you dont have to". I was told later that they went to company where crush of my crush was and that that was the reason they left us. I did ask her and she told me that she had to go home because of training which i didnt really believe but directly towards her i didnt act hurt. I wasn't angry anyways, I just felt like a piece of shit back then. We continued messaging for a while, i recommended her himym(tv show) and we talked about that and some other basic stuff. I mistakenly spoiled her one episode(actually it was even a misslead) because i missread her message and i got "FUCK YOU". I apologized and didnt want to say anything more about it bcs if i did she would have actually been spoiled. After a couple of days i messaged her hoping she had seen the episode by now to explain it and sort it out but she didnt respond. I heard from her on couple of ocassions but nothing special. Recently I unfollowed her because I started feeling bad about my lack of self esteem and the fact that she was important to me but i really wasnt to her.
As I told couple of my friends whole story and reason I did what i did I got mixed opinions on whether I have the right to feel hurt and kind of angry since I ignored it at first in favour of having some kind of contact with girl I still liked. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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DprMzUERHCCpB31jkxGggrzLp4AdfZAo
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aubkes
|
{
"description": "reporting a wierd teacher",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if i (f15) reported a wierd teacher?
|
Okay so my biology teacher is a male about 50 or so and he's said some really sketch things but I'm not sure if I would be overreacting if I reported him because if it. One time a few months ago we were talking about genetics and he said that one person (when it comes to procreating) can change everything. He then used HIV as an example and said that HIV "started in the gay community." He didn't say that some people believed that, he said it as if it was fact, which it isn't. We we're also talking about chromosomes and such and he ended up talking about downs syndrome and said that some women want to abort if they know the baby will have downs syndrome and he said "everyone has a right to live." This bothered me because he's giving his own opinion on a controversial topic and saying it as if it's fact.
We watch these YouTubers in class who are twins and make videos about biology and he has said that he thinks they're hot in class and that he wants to find where they live and stalk them and marry them (my friend actually told me this she has him at a different period but she wouldn't lie about that.) He also a few weeks ago told a student that "it's hot because you're in here" when she asked why it was hot in the classroom. When another student said that that was an inappropriate thing to say to a student he started accusing that student of thinking the girl he called hot isn't pretty.
I think I might be biased tho because I really don't like him. He's recently moved me away from my partner because we we're both using our phones but it was before he had even started the class. I would understand if we were talking but we weren't. I just think that's a weird reason to move me for like if he wanted to punish me for using my phone wouldn't he take it away and not move me? He also moved me once because my partner was talking to me when he was talking but why would he move me and not my partner when she was the one talking to me? Honestly I feel like he's just got something against me and he doesn't like me because it seems like he always picks on me for the smallest of things that he let's other students get away with.
But idk would I be the asshole if I reported him? Idk if the things he said are that bad in my opinion they are but idk. Also I'm kind of scared that if I do report him the counselor will tell him I told on him and then he'll pick on me even more. Sorry this was so long.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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i544Tq3Ap4B7vyac50uK8pMx9D5Fzge2
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b0ptk0
|
{
"description": "not accepting an old keyboard",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For not accepting an old keyboard?
|
So my mom bought a keyboard off some website from a guy, and offered to give it to me, though she said she bought it for herself. I rejected it since (I didn't tell her this) I was kinda planning on buying my own. She looked a little sad, and my brother seems angry at me and kept saying "I don't see why you don't want it." I have borrowed my brother's keyboard in the past and kinda wanted to buy one just like it. I honestly don't like the sound quality of the one she bought and it's dirty too. AITA for not accepting it? Honestly I'm not even sure I'd use it much.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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qvf0xF9L2BsaKb4Hnd77cHh7lPuCAeVt
|
aiieme
|
{
"description": "buying my wife a switch",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 48
}
|
AITA for buying my wife a Switch
|
Throwaway because my wife knows I’m active on reddit and knows my handle.
So, due a recent lapse of judgment, I am unemployed. My wife is a night shift LPN. She makes okay money, we’ve been getting by. She’s been babysitting on the weekends recently for a friend of a friend which has helped.
So the other day she came back from babysitting and talked about the Switch that the family had and that she and the kid she babysits had had a lot fun playing on. Since my wife is an LPN she works really hard and doesn’t relax a lot and so the idea of her having something to relax with and have fun with sounded really appealing. Husband of the year award, right?
So I found a used Switch on Craigslist and bought it. I got for 75 bucks cheaper than retail, so I feel it was a good deal. I surprised her with it this morning and she was furious. She said I had no right to spend her money on a gaming system. I thought when you get married it’s OUR money not your money. Is she being bitchy or am I the asshole? She keeps saying she was trying to save money but that’s what the babysitting money is for, I never ask her about that. Plus why would she be saving money without telling me? Seems fishy, right?
The shitty part is that when I turned it on this afternoon it didn’t work and the guy I bought it from isn’t responding to my texts or calls. I’m thinking about filing a police report but that’s for another post I guess.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
iq6twHbnDDfQIFCZS887yHNItyOpkzdL
|
ataflu
|
{
"description": "taking my wii that my sister gave my niece without asking me first",
"pronormative_score": 148,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for taking my wii that my sister gave my niece without asking me first
|
So basically I came down to visit my sister, and found my wii I have been looking for for the last year. I bought it in 2016 for $150 at gamestop. I heard my niece talking about it and asked is that my wii? My sister told me it was but I couldnt take it because niece plays with it all the time. I offered to let her buy it from me for $50. She said no it is an old game console so I didnt need it anyways. I bought this wii specifically for wii sports and nothing else, which I played religously. Meanwhile my niece started screaming " I dont care if you paid for it. It is mine and you arent taking my stuff".
Now if my sister or niece would have just asked me if they could have it I probably would have just said yes. The fact that nobody asked just didnt set right with me. I paid for this. I have been looking for it for over a year. So tell me reddit, AITA if I take my wii back with me?
Sorry for any grammar, format, blah blah blah.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
62dnAKvUTrwteUCtBdeFrkp04ZrxW2fg
|
b4pgb9
|
{
"description": "being frustrated that my Boyfriend won't move",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Being Frustrated That My Boyfriend Won't Move?
|
Background: I (21f) foolishly married a man I only knew for three months (before you ask - yes, he's military) and let him whisk me away across the country. As I should have expected they would, things went poorly and now I'm stuck halfway across the country from my family.
While we were married, we adopted several (5 cats, 1 dog) pets together which are now solely in my care. When we first separated, he told me he'd send me back to my parents', but I'd have to "find something to do with all the cats." He told me over and over again how heartbroken he would be if they had to be adopted out, but also put forth no effort to find alternate solutions. This turned into a no-win situation, seemingly designed for the sole purpose of manipulating me, so I packed everyone and everything up, and I left.
​
Fast forward to now: I live with my boyfriend who graciously took in me and my entire zoo. We're in an apartment ten minutes away from my ex husband, tens of thousands of miles away from my family. I've been homesick since the day I left, I've cried every day this week over missing home, and cried for months and months before that over the same. Being so far from my parents has been extremely detrimental to my mental health, to the point where I regularly see a therapist for SI.
BF(28m) has lived in this state his entire life. He hardly sees his parents (typically avoids them at all costs), doesn't live near enough to his friends to visit, and works a minimum wage job that he hates. He does have severe medical issues that require regular doctor visits, but he just recently decided to switch doctors and hasn't yet begun seeing them - or hardly settled on one. The lease on the apartment isn't up for another few months, but his roommate (30m) just moved out with his wife and still pays rent here...and I honestly think he'd eagerly cover the cost of early termination if we were to jump ship here.
Every time I bring up leaving he shuts down and either changes the subject or just gets sad and anxious and stops communicating. He knows I hate it here, he's known since we met that leaving was my end goal, and I've told him I want him to come with - but he's just dragging his feet, refusing to move forward.
​
So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to gtfo?
​
​
(Additional info:
\-BF has said that he would be open to moving back home with me, he's just nervous
\-BF has $13k from his parents in a separate bank account for "emergencies" (which he has listed as: medical emergencies, accidental pregnancies, car failure, or *down payment on a house*)
\-BF's parents pay for nearly everything. Phone bill, medical bills, gas when we're in town, medical insurance, car insurance, and paid for his degree
\-I drive a small car & can't transport even half of my things or any of the cats
\-Roommate is very well off, owns several businesses and just recently got married. His wife did not live with us)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
481iP3XS3Ff4k0XmNcHsrdI0xeVtMYsE
|
ar7kse
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate to show me the lease of the appartment",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my roommate to show me the lease of the appartment?
|
Allright so here goes, I've been living with a woman for three months now and paid $495 monthly for rent and internet access. I mean I have a full time job so paying it isn't really an issue but I just have this weird vibe about the whole situation. First off i moved in the middle of December because living with my dad was hindering our relationship (now everything's fine). she told me the day we met that I could move in whenever I wanted because ''the room is empty anyways'' or something along those lines, so I did. A couple days later I asked to see the rent and internet bill just because I think I'm a bit entitled to see that since im living here (right?).
​
She got very defensive (that's the vibe I got from her anyways) and mumbled something along the lines of ''I need to charge you this'' or something. She then told me that since I didn't pay for december that this amount would cover the rent for that month over time. So since im not one to be confrontational I said ''ok'' and got back to my room.
​
So I've been paying that amount for the last 3 months and I mean yeah its weird but at the same time she never asked money for groceries and she explicitly told me that what she bought was for the both of us to eat and always offers me a plate of whatever she's cooking.
​
I met my downstairs neighbor a while back and we got to talking and I asked him what he paid for rent. He told me he pays 600 + utilities, I was a bit shook up but when I told him I how much rent I pay he told me that her rent was a bit higher because utilities are included in her lease.
​
so I mean now I really don't know what to do, I mean I live a pretty worry-free life since she pretty much does everything around the apartment and never asked a dime for groceries, but I just feel like something is off.
​
extra info:
\- I did not sign any legal documents (like the lease).
\- We have 10mbps of download speed, so I highly doubt we pay $100 for that kind of service.
​
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
2n5XzY2aVi1XamwGMSBw12Zodvzrmsii
|
aycwsz
|
{
"description": "telling my wife she is expected to cook, clean dishes, and do the laundry",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 52
}
|
AITA for telling my wife she is expected to cook, clean dishes, and do the laundry
|
Now, for all of you women out there that are ready to jump all over me and call me a male chauvinist pig, hear me out for a second...
It was just a few weeks prior where my wife told me: “ *Yes, I expect you to fix things around the house, mow the lawn, and take care of the ca*r”
​
Fast-forward to last night:
​
My wife says to me after I come home from work and have dinner: “*How about you do the dishes tonight*?”
I said to her: "*No, I want to relax for a little bit. I help sometimes on the weekend with those things, too, but you are expected to do these things - at least during the week*."
Well, let's just say ALL HELL broke lose after that comment!
\*\*\***Yes, I will admit that I recalled the conversation we had just had two weeks prior, and I was saving it to make a point at a later time.. which happened to be last night**\*\*\*
My wife said,: “ *How could you ever speak to me that way!?* *You're JUST like your father!* ( gee, never heard that one before) *You're a male chauvinist pig that expects the women to do ALL of the house work!!*
I cut her off
“*Wait one cotton- picking -minute here* ( I like to joke at inappropriate times, and I did not think it had to be an argument ) *WHY was it ok for YOU to tell me that I'M expected to mow the lawn, fix things in the house, and take care of the car, but the moment I tell YOU what YOU are expected to do,it becomes some problem where I'm a chauvinist pig*?? *I'm the one working a full time income job, and when I'm working, I expect you to take care of the things women have been doing for generations... WHY is that such a problem for you and so many women these days??*
She then stops talking about that exact part of the conversation and starts telling me how " I *went off on her all of a sudden, just because I was having a bad day*”
At that point, yes I started to become annoyed.. so I just walked away.
She then started crying about the argument.
So I come back in - but when I tried to talk to her about it , we could not discuss the point I was trying to make, we could only discuss how poorly I made her feel and how we are always arguing ( not really true, I feel it is fairly normal .. maybe more than some, but I'm sure a lot less than plenty of others)
In any case... I gave in. (I KNOW that when she avoids any points I make that she MUST know deep inside that I have a point)
​
But, AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
x0znVC8aROPJ2YQm4TdGOjG0ZmnEefWR
|
a5wx85
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my boyfriend for refusing to go on holiday with me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my boyfriend for refusing to go on holiday with me
|
So we went on holiday last year in July with a group of friends which was great but I'm wanting to go away just the two of us this year. We're both quite young, at 19, and still live at home with our own parents and don't have to pay anything apart from food. He has his car insurance to pay for but other than that, he likes to save his money for the future. This results in us not going places often so a week away would be great.
He is a full time apprentice and I've worked out that the holiday would cost about 10% of his wage from now to when we'd go away (about 6 months). I understand that it is his money and his choice but I can't help but feel frustrated and annoyed as I feel that it is holding me back from doing what I want to do. To resolve this I've considered going away with friends however I've lost contact with most of them as they've left for university and we wouldn't want the same type of holiday so my only option would be to go with him.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
UNv4hOrASWZ5uwf0sADHpESPC1oVVqMh
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b9m68p
|
{
"description": "telling my sister not to bring her boyfriend to sleep over anymore",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For telling my sister not to bring her boyfriend to sleep over anymore?
|
So I (18F) and my sister (25F) both live in my mothers house and my mom doesn’t come home mon-friday and hates when she sees my sisters boyfriend at her house so she tells her not to bring him here, especially when she isn’t there.
It really all started with me because before my sister would have sex (very loudly) while I was still in the house late in the night like (11pm-2am) sometimes they’d wake me and sometimes I’d be lucky and remember that he was in the house to put my headphones in. I eventually confronted her about it because I didn’t feel comfortable about it at all. My sister had a tantrum and eventually after screaming a lot she finally caved when my mother got involved.
Fast forward a year and she’s still dating this guy that is absolutely terrible (broke her heart that I had to fix). She asks me if he could stay over for tonight and I say yes because they had recently gotten back together and I was happy she was happy. But now she’s using it as an free pass for everything and he’s been coming more and more frequently, I’m worried they’ll start doing it again.
I confronted her again and she began throwing a tantrum again saying. “you can’t tell me what to do with my life” , “You don’t let me be me, I’m 25 for fucksake” and “that’s none of your business”
TL;DR: AITA for telling my sister not to let her boyfriend sleep over in my moms house anymore.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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S8MGfvQ9JL6FOt6TIpWfEr29wvitFdw5
|
b7zghz
|
{
"description": "supposedly intimidating a girl that thought I was gay",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for supposedly intimidating a girl that thought I was gay?
|
Ok, so I (20M) went to a pre-drinks recently. In the UK, a ''pre drinks'' is what you do before you got a nightclub. You drink before going to the club at uni. Not sure its the same in America as you can't go nightclubs until you're 21.
Anyway, a bit about myself. I am 6''1 and dress really well. I don't consider myself ''traditionally good looking''. I feel that I have to really put some major effort to look decent, so I put a lot of effort into quiffing my hair, smelling good and dressing well. If I don't do this, I don't think I look good at all. I generally did follow the advice I got on the internet (be as physically fit as possible and look your best; grooming, hair, clothes, smell, etc). Also not sure if my race is relevant, but to give as much background and context possible, I am quite light brown skinned (half Punjabi Indian/half Tamil Indian).
So, me and my friend (also 20M) went to this pre-drinks and while I was there I was talking with everyone and my friend comes up to me and he can't stop laughing. I ask him ''What's up?'' and he said ''That black girl over there said you must be gay''.
I felt so furious when that happened, I dressed well to attract girls, and now one of them thought I was gay. Given that I was a bit drunk as well, I instantly approached her and said ''What the fuck did you say to me??'' and she said ''Huh??'' and I said ''You fucking called me gay? How dare you say shit like that. I'm not gay'' and she looks quite scared and starts saying ''Sorry sorry, I didn't mean it honestly I was just curious I'm sorry'' and she looked a bit intimidated. I said ''Good'' and walked off and continued with my night.
Now I've seen that girl again, and every time I see her, she always makes a point to say ''Hi throwawaykljfslk'' but she says it in a scared sort of way. The friend who told me (20M), said that I reacted like an asshole, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
58Hv8zH48QmEL1eRqiBQ6A9IZWxNMgxt
|
b9lufv
|
{
"description": "not trusting my husband with our baby",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not trusting my husband with our baby?
|
My husband and I have a 7 week old baby. We’ve worked out a schedule so that we both get at least 6 hours of sleep a night by alternating shifts. I owe him a huge amount of credit as I know it’s not something all Dads do.
I have dealt with post partum anxiety since giving birth and my he believes that I am irrationally worried about the safety of our baby/ accuses me of not trusting him.
He’s not wrong, at least on the trust end. The second day we were home I gave him the baby while I went to the bathroom. By the time I got back he had fallen asleep holding her. This scared me, and I talked to him about why it was unsafe (huge SIDS risk) and why we need to put her down in a safe space if we are that tired. He was defensive and accused me of overreacting.
Whenever I bring something up like this he says I am being overly concerned. In some cases, he is probably right (I.e. I check on her in the night to make sure she is still breathing, which I know is irrational). I took this on board and am seeing a therapist and on anti-anxiety meds.
There are other things that I think are justified- like telling him not to place a loose blanket over her while she is napping, or asking him not to put things in her bassinet. I explain why we shouldn’t (the suffocation risk is small but why even take it?) and it falls on deaf ears. This contributes to my anxiety and has made it difficult for me to leave her alone with him.
Things came to a head this evening. My husband kept encouraging me to go to bed. I was nervous but swaddled her and left in her bed where he was watching her. She was awake but not fussy, just lying quietly.
I got up to go to the bathroom and peaked in on them. He had taken her out of her bed and fallen asleep with her on his chest! I yelled and he was in such deep sleep that he didn’t wake up until I picked up the baby (who thank god was fine) and shook him. He became super defensive, insisting ‘its fine’ and ‘it was only for a few minutes.’ He said he had to do it because she wasn’t sleeping.
I was NOT level headed and yelled about how dangerous it was, pointing out that it was only a few minutes because I checked (what if I hadn’t?) and that a baby can still suffocate in minutes.
He started telling me that I irrationally worry about everything before accusing me of not trusting him, telling me I am impossible to deal with and then saying ‘fine, I just won’t do anything ever!’
I have lost perspective on this situation. I have anxiety and he is not wrong when he says that I do not trust him with the baby. I should be able to trust my husband and that it’s hurting him that I don’t. But I don’t know how to get over my worries when things like this happen, especially when he won’t admit that he made a mistake. On the other hand, my anxiety tends to make me think the worst of every situation and maybe he is right that I need to start trusting him and not be so mad about this.
So, am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
hZvROQ24L4Nfz2x6kD5CpX1yYGQWBPcM
|
b2lh5i
|
{
"description": "not being ok with my mom inviting herself to my apartment and saying she's taking my bed for a couple of days",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not being ok with my mom inviting herself to my apartment and saying she’s taking my bed for a couple of days.
|
I go to school a few hours away from home and am graduating with my master’s this May. So, a lot of my family who're coming up for the commencement need a place to stay for a night or two. So far everyone who's coming up is just getting a hotel, but then the other day my mom decided to inform me she was staying at my place instead of a hotel. Now, I in general was not crazy about her staying over. Sometimes if a friend needs a place to crash after we've been drinking or something it's not a big deal but having my mom (and probably my sister) stay over in my one bedroom apartment and then having the potentially three of us getting ready on top of each other in my one small bathroom does not sound like a good time. I didn't completely rule it out yet though because I don't want to be unreasonable. But then she told me, as in did not ask, that because her back isn't great she'd also need to take my bed and I'd have to take the couch. This is when I told her I wasn’t doing that.
I am not crazy about the idea at all, but even more than that I really think it's rude how she just straight up told me that this was the plan instead of asking me if it was alright. I would have strongly considered it if she'd just asked me too. Money is tight, so I get she doesn't want to spend it on a hotel for the weekend (they don't let you buy just one night during commencement) but I don't think that entitles her to my bed or even my apartment necessarily. I also really don't care much about the actual commencement ceremony. I'm just doing it because my family wants me to. So, it's not like it's some big thing she's bending over backward to do just for me either. If I'm doing it, it'd be nice for her to be there, but I'd be just as happy not going to the ceremony and seeing everyone a few days later when I came home anyway. She feels it's normal for a son to make sacrifices for his mother and thinks she shouldn't even have to ask me to do this, but I think that's absurd for her to just assume. I don't mind making sacrifices and helping when I can, but I think she's being unfair this time. No one else's parents are even asking to stay in their apartment, and even when my dad (who actually helps pay for my rent since I'm still in school) came up, he at least stayed on my couch (which was also after I offered once he said he was thinking of coming, he didn't have to ask).
My mom and I normally have a good relationship, and realistically it's probably settled since my grandpa was there and told me (after she'd gone to the bathroom, so she doesn't know yet) that he'd just get her a hotel room. But she seemed almost surprised this was an issue, and I'm really shocked she didn't understand how I had a problem with what she was demanding and the way she did it. So, I wanted to check. Am I being an asshole here, or is she really being a bit unreasonable.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Qvn08t9HlLO93kXpzAlMRwv4ht6BeznU
|
ay591b
|
{
"description": "telling my bff why her choices are wrong",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I tell my BFF why her choices are wrong?
|
We will call my best friend Anna.
Anna is always struggling with life. It seems like everything she does turns back around and bites her in the ass. It’s usually for good reason too.
Anna found out the man she was dating was married. Instead of leaving his lying ass, she just kept trying to get him to admit it. When he continued to lie, she reached out to his wife and they had a heart to heart. You would think she would leave it there but she’s still texting him because I guess she didn’t get enough closure just finding out and wants him to hurt like she hurt. But that texting turned to flirting and now she’s telling me she’s going to start smashing him again.
And this is just one of Anna’s bad decisions. She refuses to communicate with people and expects them to do all the work. So this results in her expecting people to do things for her but not asking for them and then being mad when nothing happens.
We just got back on good terms but I want Anna to make better choices. Will I be the asshole if I call her out on her bullshit?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
8AXFZy9H4OlQTVF1LPCo8AiAh8dMKWbr
|
b5b4cv
|
{
"description": "putting my bag next to me on the bus",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for putting my bag next to me on the bus?
|
I catch the school bus every morning and afternoon and i always put my bag next to me on the seat. If people want a seat then i assume they'll ask but no one ever asks, even when the bus is full. I always have my earphones in and am often staring down at my phone so maybe i seem unapproachable? I've also been told i look really depressed all the time so maybe that adds to the unapproachableness.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
hlpcSV5dIq3PiwammkGrizprqvwZrLx9
|
9zyix4
|
{
"description": "being extremely angry at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For being extremely angry at my friend?
|
I don't really know where to begin, i'll just start somewhere i guess and i'll try my best to explain both sides of the story.
I have this good friend, let's call him Sam, for over a year now. We bonded over a common interest, which is Pokemon GO (if you're about to leave after that, don't, because it's not about the game). At first, everything was fine, we played, we took walks and we got closer.
See Sam has a lot of issues with himself, ranging from low self esteem, to trust issues, which more or less began some years ago, when some friends took advantage and abandoned him, a girl who left him and he was in a very dark place in general. The thing that pretty much saved him was Pokemon GO, because it gave him an escape. After that, he divoted most of his time in the game; school, school projects etc all came second, especially if there was an event going on.
Because of the fact that he plays a lot more than me, we decided that we would share accounts, so that when i can't play he would play for me and vice versa.
Fast forward a year and things have... changed; Sam is grateful because i have helped him get over some of his issues (psychology is kinda my hobby), but some would say a little *too* grateful. He has basically taken over my account and does all the heavy lifting, because a) he doesn't "want me to get tired, because i have less time" and b) since he does it more "efficiently", i shouldn't do anything except call the shots.
I don't think that's a terrible thing in itself, but when i DO get around to doing anything, either because i have time or because i'm closer etc, he goes berserk. He says that i must always tell him when i'm going to the city's centre to play Pokemon, so that he can come. He'll come even if he doesn't have time; if i tell him i don't want him to come, he thinks that i try to finish whatever he (we) started to do and take full credit (something i've *never* done about anything, let alone Pokemon).
Today i went to the centre because i wanted to visit a couple stores and since i was there, i opened the game; i told him so and he was ok with it, since he had a job to do. Right as i was leaving, his job got cancelled and he ran like a madman to the train station to make it in time before i leave. He didn't make it and he was *mad at me*, because yesterday i told him i didn't have plans to go (which is true, i didn't have plans, but things changed) and that it's my fault he's angry. (clarificatio: this isn't the first time this has happened)
I've told him time and time again that this is too much for me; even though his intentions are pure, i can't live with the fact that i'm basically forced to hang out with him, every time i want to play pokemon there, or else i'll have to deal with him going crazy.
This is extra hard for me, because until last year, i was in a very toxic relationship. The girl wouldn't trust me, especially when it came to having female friends (i've never done anything of the sort, so her suspisions were unjustified) and she would come with me wherever i went; if i said no she would assume i didn't want her.
What happened today pushed me to the edge. I can't do it anymore; how can i make him see that bossing someone around like that and forcing them to a situation they potentially didn't want to be in, is not ok, even though he can't understand what's wrong with it? Aita for being extremely angry about what happened today (and not only today) and further more so because i feel there are times when i need to play alone? Is that such a bad thing?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
QJRkJEDMJStDFj8eRLDCet9LRiZn6mqD
|
au8f07
|
{
"description": "recovering photos off a broken drive without first telling the customer the price first",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for recovering photos off a broken drive without first telling the customer the price first
|
Hey guys,
​
I had this one girl write to me asking if I can reinstall her broken Windows. I told her sure and that I charge X amount of money for it - she agreed. Few days later I finally get her laptop and start working on it. Turns out the HDD is broken and since it was a pretty old laptop she decided it was not worth replacing it, however she did ask me if I can recover some pictures off her drive. This is of course where I fucked up by not telling her how much I charge for it but instead I just asked where she kept the pictures and proceeded to try to recover them. After about 2 hours I managed to recover a 1 GB folder of pictures and she said that's all she needs. We agreed we'd meet in few days and I'd copy the pictures onto her pendrive. Today I realized I completely forgot to tell her the price so I wrote her a quick message, she replied with "For 1 folder? No thanks :)". That's fair since I didn't specify the price first so I replied with 'OK, let's meet on Monday and I will give you the laptop back".
​
Now I feel kinda bad because from her perspective it kinda seems that now that I own her pictures I can basically demand any price I want, especially since the pictures are probably of a sentimental value for her (with her kid). Am I the asshole here?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
cwfC7AJJCMMZAZx0IpcGdfTo2iMlKG1L
|
a3tfyd
|
{
"description": "resenting my wife for gaining weight",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for resenting my wife for gaining weight?
|
Me and my wife have been together for 5 years, married for 3 and had our first kid about a year ago.
Before she got pregnant we were both workout/fitness junkies. We worked out every day we eat right (though admittedly had at least our fair share of cheat days) and kept ourselves in great shape.
It might sound vain but I also took a lot of pride in being a very good looking couple.
But when my wife got pregnant that all stopped. She stopped going to the gym and she started eating a lot more fatty foods. Now obviously while you are pregnant that is perfectly fine. All kinds of cravings and growing a fucking human sounds pretty exhausting. You also need to recovery time after birth as well. But it has been a little over a year now and she is doing the same thing. I have tried to encourage her to get back into shape with me but she keeps coming up with excuses and seems to have no interest in going back to where she was before or even anywhere near it.
I haven't said it to her, but I no longer find her attractive and I am starting to resent her for not caring about what was one of the core foundations of our relationship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
L0hNLpUVyAa5EOh14DC4T8ipQM7jMaFL
|
a1wyld
|
{
"description": "never covering shifts at work",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for never covering shifts at work?
|
To give more detail, ive worked here for about 1.5 years and for thee first 6-7 months id always cover shifts no big deal. as time went on i realized people were calling out nearly every other day and i got tired of never really having days off or having to cancel plans so i began just telling the person i could not cover their shifts. Im unsure if it supports my argument or not but i think its worth mentioning ive only been late to work twice and never called out from *this* job once. so AITA for never covering co workers shifts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 13,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
JxrCjGGRrpTvWkEmGkMiW21dfFPkxwyY
|
ay6s4s
|
{
"description": "refusing to sign up for DoorDash",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if i refuse to sign up for DoorDash?
|
So, my sister owes me a somewhat large sum of money due to not paying her phone bill (something that falls back on myself as I'm the one who offered to put her on my plan). She hasn't held a steady 9-5 job in years, and has resorted to jobs like Uber, Instacart, DoorDash.. Shes drives a ton and has been able to earn a sizeable bonus around $1500. She mentioned that if I were to create an account for DD, she'd drive around under my name to earn another bonus in order to pay off her phone bill. I'm just not comfortable with her doing this due to not knowing the TOS, and I don't know how the service works taxes wise. So, Am I The Asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dx5fdWgTLQwgCQesEdRRoOMTVBUQd85F
|
aqg2aj
|
{
"description": "calling the cops on my sister in law",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling the cops on my sister in law?
|
My sister in law is 24 and has three kids. Two have already been taken away, but the third is only a couple weeks old so she still has that one.
In the past she’s been neglectful and chosen men and drugs over the other children. Right before thanksgiving, she went to a rehab program instead of jail for a child abuse case (of her second child).
After she completed the program, she was moved into an apartment paid for by the state. She has no job, and is not allowed to have her current boyfriend at her apartment because he is a registered sex offender and she has her new son there.
My in laws are raising the two kids she’s had taken away.
Well recently she posted on Facebook how she had gotten some “molly” and was going to do it with her boyfriend that night.
I know what molly is. I know she had her baby with her that night, for sure. I knew she was also having a visitation sleepover with her second child that night. (The child was staying over at her apartment.)
I have nothing against casual use. I’ve done molly. However, given her history with drugs and child neglect, I was irritated she could be mistreating my nephews AGAIN.
I called the police, told them what was on Facebook, where she lived, etc. They already knew exactly who I was talking about and knew the boyfriends name before I even gave it.
Apparently when they checked her place out, the boyfriend wasn’t there. She had deleted the post, and her two kids were sleeping. She apparently refused to let the cops in her apartment.
Well now my in laws are mad at me. They’re claiming my SIL has changed dramatically since November, and I had no right to be making calls to the police about her when I know that such calls could result in her losing her infant and visitation with her second child. They are claiming I invented the whole Facebook post I saw. My husband saw it too, but they’re insisting I manipulated him to say what I wanted him to say.
I’ll be honest: I knew full well that making that call could effect her chances with her kids. But I didn’t care, considering her past. This is not the first time she’s “changed” and then went back to what she was doing. November wasn’t even that long ago.
I know what I saw. I called the police expecting them to find her high as a kite with a registered child molester in her apartment.
AITA? Now there’s a chance she will lose custody of her third child since she had police contact, and apparently she never did the drugs she said she had.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
rE2hzTUKpDLi5Qym7f2N8Ngf4GQjqr6M
|
9wfamm
|
{
"description": "not wanting people stay every weekend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting people stay every weekend?
|
Am I the asshole for this?
Backstory: My best friend, my sister and I decided to all move in together. Shortly after, my best friend and I began dating. (I can feel the judgement waves, cringe, I know). So it went pear shaped, we broke up. Amicable. Spent time apart. I moved on with my life as soon as possible so that I didn't drag my entire existence into living with my ex and being miserable. We had been in the new house 1 week at this point.
Now, I (was) friends with his ex girlfriend. They were still friends. It was all calm. Then, he starts bringing her over and not telling anyone. I wouldn't normally care but we aren't allowed locks on our doors, he has since also left her in the house on her own. She's a snooper.
My sister starts an argument over text one night as he brings her into the house and tries to sneak her past me, while I'm standing in front of them both. This is probably the 4/5th time she's been here, and the 2nd time I've seen her walk through the door. This argument blows up. He calls me a drunk, says he does everything for us.
Side note: I paid for all bills, shopping, sofas, TV, furniture, cleaned the whole house several times a week, because I was short on rent. I paid back in full. Also don't drink that often, I just had a fair amount of alcohol gifted all at once.
It gets to me saying no one will stay at the house other than my sister's long term boyfriend (because she stays at his half the week, he's earned some live time in our place). He drops the bomb that his ex is now his fiance and she should be allowed to stay whenever she likes for however long she likes. I also knew it was her texting us (she excessively uses emojis, he doesn't).
We all agree that everyone will be made aware of visitors staying in the house beforehand. This brings more argument from the girlfriend, but we get agreement.
Every single weekend at 10:30pm I get a text saying she is coming over. Ok cool. He asks to have other friends over, I say yes, but I would like a weekend at some point without guests. He agrees. It's been 3 months. That weekend never came.
My sister has been staying at her boyfriends for 3 weeks (he had surgery). Finally, she comes home. Girlfriends car is outside the house. It's midnight, no text. He locked us out of the house, despite knowing we would both be home that night. They got engaged less than 2 months together after 3 years apart. She's a manipulative person, and in turn makes him a messy shit because they know it annoys me.
We had an inspection last Saturday, and they were going at it until 20 minutes before the landlord arrived. His week to clean, nothing done, I'm running around like a headless chicken cleaning because he hasn't done anything.
I'm a uni student with a part time job. Weekend evenings are the one time I would like to be gross in my own home.
If you're still reading, I'm sorry. Am I the asshole for even asking him not to have her over?
TLDR; ex bf gets engaged to his ex gf. Cause major arguements in the house.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
i8s3z9qJL4wblQyP6rwuJn1c5lUr1y8E
|
b1k3bm
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my grieving father",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my grieving father?
|
So 18 months ago my older brother passed away. It's been really tough on us and we've all had to find ways to cope, except my father.
My father deals with it by drinking. He drinks then he goes on these days long tantrums about how he's depressed and hates his life. He lost his job one time because of these episodes.
Also, how he was the only one who loved my brother and that he was his "baby". I've heard him say many occasions say that he doesn't care about my other brother and I, only my other brother. This makes me very angry because him and my brother would fight alot when we were younger. To the point of my father throwing him up against a door one time.
Yesterday, he came home drunk and in one of these moods. This carried over to today, were I had a doctors appointment because I might have ovarian issues. My mom was supposed to come along, because my dad can't be trusted to not get drunk when left alone, he tagged along. He ended making things alot worse and was not supportive of me.
I feel like the asshole because I know he's grieving over the loss of his son, but he refuses to get help. He doesn't believe in therapy because therapists are "quacks" and that no one is going through what he went through. My mom found a group in our city with parents, like them, that get together and talk. He refuses to go.
Am I the asshole for getting mad at him? At this point, I'm thinking about moving out but not financially stable enough.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
ChZkSlboacGbIEidLS52g7oJ667DSgDB
|
akjma4
|
{
"description": "not telling my brother his gf is cheating",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for not telling my brother his gf is cheating
|
Ok, obligatory I'm on mobile so excuse any errors bla bla...
This is gonna be a long one. My brother (23) has been dating this girl on and off for 3 years now. I will refer to my brother as Ryan and his girlfriend as Allie. I never liked Allie because when they first started dating she pushed Ryan away from all of his friends, made him quit his band, made him drop all his hobbies for her. I told Ryan that she was a toxic person and that I didn't like her after they had been together for about 5 months at the time. He proceeded to not talk to me for 9 months after that.
Fast forward to September of 2017. Ryan graduated basic training. He had been gone for a few months. He gets home and finds our that Allie cheated on him. She was the one that told him, I guess to keep him finding out from someone else. She first says the guy "stuck it in" then says that she was drunk. (She doesn't drink and has made this fact known to us multiple times) and then she says that the guy forced himself on her and nothing really happened. So who knows. My brother, being in his first real relationship, forgave her. Poor pussy whipped bastard.
Fast forward to now, January 2019. Ryan is deployed in Poland and has been gone for 7 months now. We still don't really talk since he forgave Allie and I pretty much hate her now. I rarely talk to her but my mom does and usually tells me some of the stuff Allie says.
Now I need to derail for a second. My uncle, Seth, is a recruiter and is the one who recruited my brother. This is important. According to Allie, she tells my mom that one of the guys that works with my uncle Seth got her number somehow and is texting her weird stuff. Why she told my mom and doesn't go to my uncle Seth about it seems pretty weird. Then, according to my mom, my uncle Seth told my dad that he heard from some of the Army guys that Allie is cheating on Ryan with the same creepy guy that was sending her creepy messages. My uncle is not one to lie or make something up. My dad did not ask for more details and said that he didn't want to know anything else about her cheating. I believe my uncle fully and I believe she is cheating on my brother again. Of course there is no proof.
This is the same girl who also told my brother that the second he left for basic training his best friend at the time started hitting on her, and ending that friendship. She also said the same thing about one of Ryan's other friends when he left for deployment, ruining that friendship as well. It's like she has to have him all for himself and can't stand for him to have his own life and have friends. Of course, they have also broke up and gotten back together about 4 times over the past 3 years, and she also aborted his baby when she already has a toddler that her parents take care of, but that's besides the point.
This bitch is psycho crazy, has held my Ryan hostage in a room, accused HIM of cheated, and done many other crazy things that will make this long post even longer. You get the idea. Yet he is still with her and I don't know why!
Ok so now I think you know all the important details and maybe can see as to why I hate this bitch. I really want to tell my brother that she is cheating on him with the army guy, because he deserves to know. But I have no proof and the fact that he is still with this girl after everything she has done to him makes me think that telling him won't even make a difference. I feel like maybe he will learn in time but they also talk about getting married so probably not. Sorry this is so long.
TLDR: My brother's gf is cheating on him while he is deployed and I want to tell him but I don't have proof and don't want screw up our relationship as brother and sister more than it already is.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Y6c6Ugmo7E77ssGAAvPJwKAKSWUdz1as
|
b28ekz
|
{
"description": "letting my hair loose",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for letting my hair loose
|
This happened just now and I’m still mad
I like to grow out my hair so I can get that saske look to it. So normally I’d comb it to the side and it would stay like that. I intended to keep it that way until I could drop it down to my neck.
Then yesterday, I let it loose because it was warm and I felt like it.
Entire family instantly starts complaining about “that ugly hair” despite not having said a word for weeks about it.
Parents then drive me to the haircut shop, and then have the audacity to tell me what kind of haircut I should get (for reference I’m 15)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
AMoYXiFeyD1ORNfAo3YLrmA5CRrOSdBY
|
ad6p06
|
{
"description": "telling my bf's best friend to stop coming to me with his problems",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told my bf's best friend to stop coming to me with his problems?
|
A little background, I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and have met his best friend about 10 times.
He recently broke up with his long term girlfriend and keeps coming to me for advice and to talk about it.
It honestly makes me feel weird, because we don't know each other very much an he rather talks to me than his best friend.
For example he wrote me at 2 a.m asking if I am still awake and avaible to talk instead of writing his best friend who lay right next to me. My boyfriend also finds it weird.
Would I be the asshole for telling him he should ask his closer friends for advice and not me?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
quPVErFfDHLWJqUHFwvwEY9Lr75MBiEs
|
b3lzrb
|
{
"description": "not letting an ex friend of my wife talk to her and interposing myself between them",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting an ex friend of my wife talk to her and interposing myself between them?
|
Tl;dr: wife had an emotionally draining friend she cut off after she admitted to being in love with my wife. AITA for not letting this ex friend talk to my wife?
Some of you may remember a post I made a while ago asking if I was the asshole for threatening a restraining order on an ex friend of my wife who’d admitted to falling in love with my wife at the end of a very draining and needy friendship, my wife cut her off as a friend, and she continued to call and text for the (now) next 6 or 7 months and actually showed up at our house once.
I admit I’m a bit of a softie and don’t have much time, as a 10 month old will take up a lot of your life, so we didn’t actually go through with the restraining order. Yet.
Now she’s calling again. Every night or two, and when she calls it’s multiple times. I finally answered and she was just demanding to speak to my wife. Pleading almost. My wife was composing an email to this friend to try to explain why she had to cut off the friendship, and expected this ex friend to just move on rather than trying to get in touch for this long, but we hadn’t sent it yet. I refused to let her speak to my wife and told her that my wife would send her an email explaining why things had been cut off.
So we sent the email. My wife did, rather, I reviewed it for her because she asked me to, as I’m a bit more focused in my wording sometimes and she appreciates that. I hope this is the end of it.
I feel like I was in the right. Defending my wife when she felt uncomfortable and trying to deal with this. She even commented that she thought I handled it well before she sent the email. But I still feel bad. So, AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
ISFnPgPD5aNjFB09yCacoasjhBopGzcy
|
b3lxbk
|
{
"description": "telling my husband to stop referring to my sister as 'babe'",
"pronormative_score": 71,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my husband to stop referring to my sister as 'babe'?
|
This is so fucking stupid. Throwaway because both know my account.
​
Some months ago my husband, my sister, and I were shopping together. Someone assumed my sister and my husband were married and instead of correcting it they played along. I was annoyed but thought it was a one-time thing so I didn't comment. But holy shit they took it to the extreme. Now every time we all go out they keep up the charade and pretend to be married and call each other 'babe' and even fucking 'sweetheart' one time. I told both of them to stop on multiple occasions because it was incredibly uncomfortable for not only me but whoever was going out with us too. They told me to chill out and learn to take a joke. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 67,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
RkVTBipNkewKjyoSLdI9zXzKC7UHJKK4
|
ay87i0
|
{
"description": "skipping a planned dinner with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for skipping a planned dinner with a friend?
|
I have this good friend, call her A, who can be a little annoying sometimes. She'll keep me up all night when she gets too drunk and then doesn't apologize for putting me through that, is late to a lot of things, doesn't understand sarcasm (which is big for me since I use it all the time lol), and doesn't get a lot of social ques. Overall though, we get along pretty well and I can overlook a lot of her aspects that annoy me.
I'm currently in college and I have a lot of exams this week so I have been basically doing work all the time, only really to take breaks when I eat. I go to a pretty intense university so everyone understands when you have to bail on something to do work. Today, some of my friends were planning a low key dinner to a close restaurant. A overheard and asked if she could come, which we said yes to. We were originally going to go at 6, but A asked to move it to 5, which we agreed to. 5 o'clock rolls around and my friends and I are still grinding away on problems to prepare for our exam, we were making a lot of progress so we did not want to stop and get dinner at that moment, however, A texts us and asks us when we were getting to the restaurant. I say sorry and that we'll be there soon, but apparently A had to leave by 5:30 so she left before we even got there. She seemed pretty mad that we were going to be late and said that the only reason she went was to eat with us. I immensely apologized and told her we didn't show up on time was because we were doing work, but she still still seems really mad at me, like completely ignoring me mad.
​
I understand that I should not have been late, but I am annoyed that I put up with a lot of annoying behavior with A, but she gets mad the minute I do something that's not great. So is A allowed to be this mad at me? AITA for being late?
​
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
bF14RXEcLY4Axz6aE2P48AdbPCZy4ubT
|
b0h52d
|
{
"description": "whispering in the theater",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for whispering in the theater?
|
I'd like to start off by saying I don't go to movie theaters or live theaters very often, because I have serious auditory processing problems. I'd usually rather wait and watch something at home with subtitles, because otherwise I can barely understand what is being said, ESPECIALLY if there's singing.
My boyfriend is amazing with me about this. If I whisper a question in his ear because I'm confused, he explains it quickly and quietly. He's wonderful and always tells me if I'm too loud.
Skip to today. It's our 4 year anniversary tomorrow, and we're staying in an AirBnB out of town. I bought us tickets to see Miss Saigon, as he's a huge history nerd, and I love musicals. I picked cheap nosebleed seats, literally the top row of seating in the theater. It was less than $100 for us both to see it.
As soon as intermission started, a woman in the row ahead of us leaned and introduced herself, all smiling and friendly. She asked our names then passive aggressively told us we ruined the first half for her, she's never met someone so rude in her life, she paid good money for these seats and we need to read the book on manners. She told us she was moving seats because of us.
We were too shocked to say anything to her, but the people around us looked sympathetic towards us. One woman who was sitting even closer to me than the rude woman was said she only heard me once, when I was laughing.
We both spent the rest of the play uncomfortable. I said nothing to him and I had no idea what was going on for most of the second time.
Reddit, AITA? I just wanted to understand the play, and all the assisted listening devices were checked out by the time we arrived. I don't know what else I could've done if I wanted to have any grasp of the plotline.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
NZK2a1X8fefYXsogVbscetCQnJhE5Wn7
|
ap6i55
|
{
"description": "telling my sister I don't want to hang out, after she walked almost 6 miles in the cold to get here and she brought me a donut",
"pronormative_score": 52,
"contranormative_score": 84
}
|
AITA for telling my sister I don’t want to hang out, AFTER she walked almost 6 miles in the cold to get here and she brought me a donut?
|
So. Everyone in my family knows that I’m a night owl. I’ll wake up around 7am on weekdays to say bye to my husband before he leaves for work, and then usually go back to sleep until 12-1 (I’m disabled and so do not work). On weekends, my husband wakes me up with a quick breakfast so I can take my meds, and then I go back to sleep. This is known to all of my family.
Well this morning when my husband woke me up saying my sister was here. I was super confused because she doesn’t drive and our parents had church so I knew they couldn’t have brought her, and the busses aren’t running and she’s too broke for an Uber or lyft. I checked my phone and had 7 messages from my younger sister.
“Hey.. you awake?”
“I’m bored as fuck and don’t want to work on homework.. wanna chill? Feels like forever since we’ve really hung out.”
“Okay don’t hate me but I’m going ahead and walking over. I know it’s far but I feel antsy and the walk should help me mellow put before I’m there”.
“So I’m at Safeway. I got a free coupon on the monopoly thing and won two free donuts. What kind do you want?”
“Okay I grabbed a maple bar and a buttermilk bar, and I grabbed a crueler for [my husband]. Be there soon-ish!”
“Damn people are driving crazy out here. Some guy almost ran me over while I was trying to cross the street! Oh btw my eta is about 35 minutes”.
“I’m outside..”.
She came in my room, said surprise, and handed me the bag of donuts. “Pick one!” Barely awake, I just stared at her and was like “dude WTF did you walk all the way here? I would have went and picked you up”.
“I tried messaging you but you never responded and I felt the urge to just get out and come over. Are you mad?”
“..... not really, but I kind of didn’t want to hang out today.. wish you would have waited for me to see the messages so I could save you the trouble”.
“..... oh. Um. Okay. Well I guess I’ll just head home then. Sorry I didn’t wait. I didn’t think you’d have a problem with it.”
I felt like a complete and total asshole and said “dude come on I’m not letting you walk all that way here and not hang out. I just wish you would have waited so you didn’t walk all this way.”
She started shaking her head and put the bag of donuts on my bed. “No, it’s okay, I should have waited and I’m sorry. You can have the donuts, they’re too sweet for me anyways. I’ll just go ahead and go home, I don’t want you to feel obligated to hang out if you aren’t feeling up to it.”
I said “come on [sister], I’ll hang out, even if just until mom and sad get out of church and they can come pick you up.”
“Nah, I don’t feel comfortable hanging out when I know you don’t want to. It’s okay, really.”
Me: “ugh okay well at least have [my husband] give you a ride back home. I’m not letting you walk all that way back.”
Her: “dude no it’s okay, if I can walk here I can walk all the way back home.”
I got mad and said “[sister] don’t be stupid. Just have him take you home. It’s freezing outside”.
Instead she just left shaking her head and walked out. I asked my husband to go pick her up and drive her home, but he said no. I want to go pick her up myself, but I’m terrified of driving on ice/snow in my truck after a horrible accident I had awhile ago. I’ve been texting and calling trying to get her to come back over, but she’s not answering.
This has ruined my day and made me feel like a major asshole. Am I?
tl;dr: sister showed up unannounced (since I hadn’t read my texts as I was asleep) with donuts after walking 6+ miles in the freezing cold, expecting to hang out. I told her I don’t feel like hanging out and wish she’d waited to actually ask me instead of walking all this way. She got upset and insisted on walking all the way back home despite my husband being able to give her a ride back. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 72,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 18,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 52,
"WRONG": 84
}
|
WRONG
|
AiHNyyCeAINXyMYZIFOcDL2xi7mpTTBe
|
ap35jb
|
{
"description": "skipping a really good friend's birthday because I would have felt uncomfortable if I went there",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for skipping a really good friend's birthday because I would have felt uncomfortable if I went there?
|
(before you read I have to apologize if there are grammatical errors in my post. It's not my first language and feel free to correct me because I'm trying to become better.)
So the thing is that I became part of a quite large friend group. The most loud people in this group were born in February so one guy decided to organise a huge party for them all. One of my best friends (let's call her Rachel for now) from there had her birthday now as well. She is the cousin of the guy who organised this huge party (let's call him Ben for now) which might be important later.
At first I was excited to go because most of them are nice people. (Note that almost all of us are between 18 and 20 years old and here you are considered an adult at the age of 18). The organisations turned out to be pretty problematic and the first problem related to why I ended up not going was that a good friend of mine wasn't allowed to invite anyone even though she had her birthday just now as well. So I decided to organise a surprise party for her which happened last weekend.
The surprise party went rather well with about 15 people, the birthday girl was surprised and almost everyone came who was invited. Which included a guy I found interesting lately. Even though he comes out fine with the girl who had birthday, I invited him so we could talk. I'm pretty bad at emotional stuff, don't have much experience so I couldn't handle it well. And a few drinks later Rachel told him about all of my feelings towards him. Which resulted in him going home and telling that he is not ready for something like a relationship. I was devastated.
I missed my last bus home (we live in the countryside so the public transport isn't always available and I don't have any relative in the town unlike most people there) so Rachel said I could sleep with her at her cousin's place. I said it would be great since I wouldn't have asked for it myself just would have started my 10 km long walk home (I wanted some time to think and I love walking in the night, especially since the crime rate here is pretty low).
About six months ago Ben told he wants to be my boyfriend and we talked about it and I told him that I don't want him. We were still in the same friend group though. Ever since I heard him say he likes me from time to time but it stopped after he got a girlfriend so I was confident that nothing embarrassing would happen this time, especially since Rachel slept there as well. I ended up helping Rachel walk there (she's a decent girl but one guy wanted to get her really drunk this time).
At first it was nothing extraordinary, we put Rachel to sleep and proceeded to make some tea (it was about 2 am at that time, only the two of us were up). Then he brought some strong leftover alcohol (I didn't drink all night, I felt responsible for the people at the party) saying he can see that I'm sad, let's talk about it. I told him about all the problems I had recently (messy relationship with family, ex boyfriend and this recent thing with that guy I found interesting) and got a bit drunk myself as well. You might guess where this is going by now. We went to watch a movie but I was really exhausted so I told him that I'll be sleeping. At first nothing happened but then he tried to straight forward fuck me. I am not someone really attractive, I never had sex and I didn't do anything charming to him so I had no clue what he wanted. I could barely stop him and I felt like a complete piece of trash. I had to remind him that he has a girlfriend.
In the morning I left with an early bus and he told his girlfriend what happened (nothing, I didn't let him do anything but he would have done anything if I let him). Not many people know about it since they could talk it out with his girlfriend and they have stayed together. But after this I felt like I shouldn't attend his bigger party yesterday even though I have talked to his girlfriend and told it all to her and she wasn't mad at me (it's her birthday as well though). Even though Rachel knew about this she still said she is disappointed that I'm not going and gave me tiny hurtful hints about me not going there. I bet that I'm going to hear about not going so much, not only from her. The party was really big (with more than 50 people) so I could have avoided them and could have still checked in for one hour but I felt like it was useless so I didn't.
(I've had more than enough problems with this friend group lately. They can't seem to act like grown ups and I'm looking forward to next year's university where I can leave them all behind. Still I want to come out well with them because they are mostly kind people.)
So AITA for not going to her birthday party?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
g1eVV2Aalc8o3hYx2nbkTuL99g7AAwSU
|
aephhd
|
{
"description": "being upset that my coworker slept with my brother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being upset that my coworker slept with my brother?
|
Background information: I’m M18, she’s F18, bro is M17. I have a child with my ex. To clarify, I am upset/annoyed with both of them
Me and the girl “Sarah” were originally “talking”, flirting pretty hard core and had traded some nudes .had We ended up going to my place(I had previously discussed this with my brother to not inconvenience him). We were playing my PS4 when my brother ended up coming into the basement to play with us, which wasnt ideal but whatever. He started making a shit ton of jokes, got touchy-feely, complimented her, etc and she rolled with it.
I heard a banging at the upstairs door so I ran upstairs, it was my ex demanding that I take my son for the day (it was not my day to take him and this had also been previously discussed many times), we argued for about 30 minutes and I ended up telling her no because that’s not what we had agreed on. I went back down stairs and saw them bumping uglies, rather than causing a scene I just went back upstairs to collect my thoughts. I ended up leaving to just get away from them and didn’t see Sarah again until work, she said that she didn’t realize that I had a kid and was sorry for leading me on. My brother told me essentially that “if you snooze you lose”. I did not intentionally hide my child from her, he just never came up in conversation.
AITA for being annoyed with both of them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
HB2otSI0x9TFzHoIH3bU259KXU4FcvLk
|
apiv8s
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friends for not sending me some work",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friends for not sending me some work.
|
I was sick for a topic we did at school and I have been asking for ages for someone to send me what I missed, today someone agreed too but I’ve been waiting nearly 4 hrs whilst they, ‘just do one more thing’ and tbh I’m kinda getting pissed would i be an asshole if I got really mad at them because I always send them anything even if I’m busy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
YRlCKlVykKRCIwtKcprhNaohhxc64DmI
|
a0odqg
|
{
"description": "wanting to quit",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to quit?
|
This is a long, sorry!*
* am Canadian
Around this time last year, a coworker ('X') left the team and I was tasked with learning their job and training a replacement who joined us 2 months later. Oh and I'm still maintaining my regular fulltime job, except now I'm not taking breaks, eating lunch at my desk and logging about 20 hours of OT each week.
Two weeks later I land an interview for an internal posting that I had applied to before 'X'left our team. I email my manager to let them know about the interview and she calls me right away in a panic, demanding to know why I'm applying for another job. I offer reasons why the job would offer better growth, better pay, etc. My manager passive/aggressively ends the call and we don't talk for a few days.
Later that week, it's my yearly performance review and my manager says that she can see me trending toward a promotion in the next 6 months. "Keep it up, great work etc." I walk away from the review thinking that perhaps now my career prospect is looking better if I stay put. So I do. Fast forward to today. It's been 1 year and another two full review periods (semi annual bs).
'Ok, a promotion didn't happen after my first review so it must be coming this time!' I think to myself.
Nope. My manager tells me that she still wants to 'wait and see' for the next 6 months even though she 'loves everything I am doing' and to (again) 'keep it up!'.
So that's now 3 reviews where my manager has dangled a promotion. It feels like I am always going to be strung along by this illusory bullshit if I don't get the fuck out.
Am I the asshole for wanting to quit for the next good job that comes along?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PLYoruec7cVVjkQBOca0NWrXnSASqClu
|
afsboy
| null |
AITA: Dinner
|
We made dinner. A beef stew of sorts. Everything was going perfect.
Husband takes a spoon out of the dirty water (bacon, fish, and shrimp), four plus hours of sitting there, and stirs a portion of the stew. I refuse to eat this. He tells me he scooped the contaminated part out.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
VK18YSnx33getvBLiGyW02QdWygZV8j7
|
apybzl
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friend for stalking my spotify",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend for stalking my spotify
|
So discord has this feature where it publicly shows what you are listening to on Spotify.
My friend always looks at it and makes comments on the music I listen to, for example: "you listened to that 10 mins ago find a new song"
Then I got mad at him saying why are you always monitoring me and such. So AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
D7eQarhMjDLjTqtcbMUiALBOsTB0tPSj
|
b4bhpb
|
{
"description": "staying at his place",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For staying at his place?
|
We have been dating ~2 years. In the beginning i had my own place and we never hung out at his place. he spent 5/6 nights a week at mine and still paid them rent even though he was never home (I was even doing his laundry) .
Due to circumstances, i moved an hour away to live with my stepmom and drove down on my days off to see him usually 2 or 3 days at a time about a week apart depending on my work schedule. this was never an issue to them at the time.
After a year up there, i came back to town, i also had to buy a new car and i still have allot of bills to pay for so im staying with my grandma who lives 40 minutes from him until i can get on my feet and get a place with him.
Since he works till 6pm and i work at 6 am its hard for us to see each other after work and then go home. And the traffic going from my house to his work is WAY worse than if I leave from his. usually its me going over to his place and leaving for work at 530 am.
When i am there we often are out of the house til 9pm. We shower together and make it quick to be mindful of the water bill. we can both get in and out in under 10 mins. Im never at the house when hes gone. im a "leave it better than you found it" kinda person, and to be honest.. they are slobs.. I clean the whole kitchen when i cook. They have even made jokes about how "its nice when you make him food because the kitchen becomes spotless."
If im going to the store for something i always ask them if they need anything,last week the list they gave me was Like $12 and when they tried to pay me i said dont worry about it. When my bf food shops with them he pays half the bill even though his is 1/3 of them. So even if i did use any of it, milk, eggs etc, my bf paid for half of it anyways and I never use the last of anything. Also the couple who he is RMs with, she has a great job but her boyfriend hasn't worked in 3 years. he finished school and just stopped doing anything but smoking weed and playing games all day.
my bf pays them 400 a month for a room that already has a closet and dresser full of stuff that they still haven't gotten around to clearing out even though hes been there for 2 years. So i find it ironic that the girl is saying that we are taking advantage of them, when obviously her bf is taking advantage of her. my bf is trying to get his debt paid off before moving out because his work has a slow season and he cant afford rent and his loans when its that time. I am polite to them, we hangout together, Theres never been any sign that theres a problem between me and her. I cant imagine her being jealous of me.
I just don't understand. Me and my bf have started showering at the gym too instead of at his place since that's their main reason as to "how im costing them $" with my 5 minute showers.
LSS: AITA for spending 3 nights a week where my bf lives even though he pays them rent money and im respectful when im there, and im not eating their food or racking up their bills.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
7asuBo4cHZkWaNqINLBqcwIHHTMJtAhU
|
b0caz6
|
{
"description": "wanting to date someone so he doesn't get hurt again",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for wanting to date someone so he doesn't get hurt again?
|
AITA- I've known this kid (let's call him Aidan) for a couple months and we've talked on occasion. More recently we've gotten close enough to discuss his past relationships and how he's been taken advantage of in multiple ways (nothing physical) and has been just falling in with worse and worse people. This dude needs to be in a relationship to feel loved and he falls for people easy. That combined with his lack of standards makes him an easy target for people who just want to be awful to him.
Today he informed me that his latest girlfriend has cheated on him and is now sending all their mutual friends after him because he "hadn't been spending enough time with her" and things of that nature. He wants out of the relationship and I'm currently helping him work up the nerve to leave her.
I find him attractive and I like talking to him and getting to know him better but I don't necessarily have a crush on him. I know he's crushing on me and since I'm not currently in a relationship I could totally ask him out and save him from future shitty relationships. I do have a bit of a thing for another guy but I'm not looking for anything super serious now so I'm not actively pining after him. This dude and I are barely even friends so it wouldn't impede another relationship at all.
When I brought this idea up to my friends they said it was an awful thing to do and that I shouldn't date a guy just to save him from getting hurt but I've honestly thought about dating him before this. Am I the asshole for wanting to date a guy to save him from getting hurt in the future?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
Yq9UMyzbF2cXDyM3R2q6HbPoiIXP98BL
|
b3h7un
|
{
"description": "wanting to still be friends with him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For Wanting To Still Be Friends With Him?
|
My best friend is a guy, 18 years old, and I'm a girl, 17 years old. We worked together and basically were inseparable. Last spring, I started to develop a bit of a crush on him, and it honestly felt mutual. Summer came, and I was traveling tons and not working much. He completely stopped talking to me, there wasn't even an argument or anything, he just completely stopped replying to my texts and I couldn't get ahold of him. During this time, I met a different guy and we instantly clicked and started dating, still are. After the summer ended and I was working more again, my best friend and I were forced to spend time together again and everything was good, he had a thing with this girl and we were even closer than before.
Couple months ago, things with him and this other girl ended but him and I were still close and our friendship was going great. He got drunk one night though, and told me he really likes me and ditching me in the summer for her is one of the biggest mistakes he's ever made.
We stayed friends anyway, but I didn't really take into consideration that he actually liked me, so I would put my head on his shoulder and snuggle anyway because he's my best friend, it's what we did.
The other day he told me he doesn't think we can still be friends, or at least as close as friends because it hurt him too much to be close like that knowing it's all platonic. I told him he needs to do what's best for his mental health, but I'm really missing my best friend.
AITA for secretly wishing he would've just kept putting it up with it so we'd still be friends?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
wmHchfNPsTW6Zeb9VQoC5T1PZC4QCC06
|
b4epqj
|
{
"description": "keeping my toxic friend away from our mutual friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for keeping my toxic friend away from our mutual friends? (Reposted to abide by rules)
|
I have a friend in school who is pretty rude and downright insults me throughout the day (I’ll call her Kristine), but I kinda just deal with it so as to not make things awkward between our entire friend group.
Today, one of my teachers presented me with the option of creating my classes seating chart rather than her doing it like normal. Of course, I took her up on the offer.
I purposely put all of my friends who are also friends with Kristine on one side of the room and Kristine on the other side.
My intention was not to isolate Kristine, but may be perceived as such which could make me TA. I wanted to just be with my friends while also keeping her away from me so that she could not belittle and bully during that part of the day like she always does when I’m with her.
When she found out that I put her in that spot, she reacted pretty negatively and got pretty mad.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
jXS4baqc4rVqXUlCjRkLv5j0eD2Rfgeh
|
anyrfp
| null |
AITA or is my friend being a bus/train nazi? Passenger etiquette question.
|
My friend was ranting on Facebook with a photo he took of some guy in a train seat sitting next to a "reserved for handicap" spot. The guy had his backpack on the seat.
I asked him if the train was empty or full. He told me that it doesn't matter and to stop trying to play devils advocate. I told him that that wasn't my intention, I just wanted details he might have left out.
Anyways, the guy was indeed a dick as he denied the chair to two senior citizens. We both agreed on that.
My point was that if you're on a nearly empty train, I don't see any harm in putting your belongings next to you. Whether you're a dick or not depends on your actions when the bus or train picks up new passengers. You should take your bag and place it on your lap to offer the seats.
He came back at me with an analogy that just because there's three empty handicap spots doesn't mean you get to park in one... Which I felt was irrelevant since we're not parking and leaving a spot on the bus.
He stated one seat per a person no matter if you're on a empty bus or train. I stopped responding, didn't see it getting us anywhere productive.
Anyways, am I the asshole or is he being overly sensitive to be offended?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SlpQNiUqG1fJjGUpD76T8CufnyFb3gA0
|
aru1kj
|
{
"description": "not inviting my fiance's mother to the wedding",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not inviting my fiance's mother to the wedding?
|
This is my first time posting and I really need to know if I'm the asshole here.
Im engaged to my wonderful fiance after being together for two amazing years. Our family and friends are happy but his mother.
His mother is a christian which I don't have a problem.She raised her two children religious.
((My fiance left religion before I met him))
The problem is she hates the fact that I'm a satanist and I'm marrying her son. She told him that I cheated on him and calls me a slut. She constantly complains about me. She even threatened to ruin my wedding because it's not in a church.
I honestly don't know what to do.
I don't want a fight at my wedding
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
ekLvGAXKDVYnyrodtGjkeqFzG2pZ4Q8m
|
am8uph
|
{
"description": "sticking up for my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I stuck up for my mom?
|
Before I start this I need to say that I love my mother with all my heart and appreciate everything she has ever done for me and apologize ahead of time for all the text, theres a lot of things that needs to be accompanied by context.
​
So this kid of started my senior year of high school. I moved to a North Carolina with my mom because, I was living with my dad at the time and I knew my mom would need more help with my little brother because she was starting a new job. Everything was fine and my senior year went by normally, I ended up talking to a Army recruiter and signing the doted line to be in the Army reserves (shipping out that summer). I also got accepted into UNCC. My mother then told me she was moving back to our home state of Florida because she didn’t like her job, keep in mind I was supportive but also felt kind of betrayed because everything I did was on the preconception that my mom was staying in that state. She left with my little brother 3 months before my graduation and left me in North Carolina by myself with no other family around. I graduated, went to basic training and AIT (advanced individual training), graduated and started to attend UNCC. I was all alone in NC and it took me about a year to realize I wanted to move back to Florida because I was depressed. I finally got my chance when I went down to Florida for the holidays where my Dad’s fiancée’s brother told me about his electrical apprentice program where they essentially teach you to be an electrician and pay you while doing it. I talked to him and he told me he would give me a call when I moved back down there. So I asked my Dad’s fiancée if I could stay with her for a few days until I could secure the apprenticeship and get my own place. She said yes.
So, I told my mom the plan and she was all for it and everything seemed to be looking up. I went back to North Carolina, got a moving truck and made all the preparations to move (payed my last month of rent, put in my 2-week notice, etc.). The day before the move I talked to my Dad’s fiancée to make sure she knew what time id get there but she said she couldn’t house me anymore and gave me no reason why. Also, her brother wasn’t returning my calls. I was shocked, I told my mom and asked if she could help me out for a few days where she generously agreed.
I moved into my mom’s house where she and her fiancée said that they were not going to ask anything of me except that I need to clean the house whenever I saw that it needed cleaning and that I need to be actively looking for a job while they are working during the day. I agreed of course, and everything was great for about a week.
I was upstairs in the spare room, where my things were being stored, which included my computer, applying for jobs when my mom came home and yelled at me for not “beating the pavement” and not truly looking for a job. I told her that I was actively looking and applying for jobs online where the majority of companies posted their job openings. She got mad at this and told me that they would have a talk with me when they got home.
When my mom and her fiancée got home they sat me down and started talking to me. They told me that I needed to be out all day looking for a job and that they didn’t want me there during the day because they are trying to move into a better house, so they need to save money. I tried telling them how I saw it and that I will go to the library and use their computers instead to save them from a high electricity bill, but whenever I started to speak I couldn’t get in a sentence without being interrupted by my mom’s fiancée. He ended up telling me that my opinion didn’t matter and that he didn’t want to hear what I had to say. I told him not to talk to me like a child and afford me the same respect as I show him. My mom tried to defuse the situation, but her fiancée shushed her.
At this point I was furious, my mom is easily influenced by her partners: when she was with my dad they were really irresponsible and that’s how I was born, when she was with my brother’s dad they were abusive, physically, mentally and emotionally and now that she’s with this guy her life has gotten better but she seemingly has completely lost any will to stand up for herself much less her children.
At that moment I looked her fiancée in his eye and told him not to shush my mother, this got him heated. He stood up and I stood up to meet him, I wouldn’t let any man come into my mother’s life and push her around like that. He told me to get out and I was happy to oblige. I was going to ask my mom if she agreed but she wouldn’t look at me and didn’t say anything when I got my things and left.
I slept in my car for about a week and dipped into debt to get the place I live now. Just a week ago I went back to my mom’s house with my landlord to get my mattress and the rest of my things. When I got there, I found that my mom brought out my memories box. The memories box basically holds items in it that tracks my growth up until my graduation. It supposed to be for my mother to keep so she can look back at my sibling’s and my childhoods when we move out. So with my mom consciously making me take it, she was erasing me from her life and showed me she me she was disowning me. I also found my high school graduation pictures in the other boxes she gave me as well so I don’t even think I have any pictures in her house anymore. I grabbed the rest of my things and closed the door without saying anything. I haven’t talked to her since.
Am I the asshole? I can answer any questions in the comments.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5Bc3r54OwFtfZY5fdlj6nQRehvJut42I
|
ankf80
| null |
AITA because a guy tipped me and then left, but came back and wanted his tip back???
|
Basically like the title says. I was at work and waited on this guy. He says thanks and leaves without wanting his change. He literally leaves, like in his car and left; drives off onto the road towards the highway.
I assume because of this the change is mine.
He comes back a bit later after I’ve pocketed the cash and says that he didn’t mean to give me such a big tip and that it was too much money and wanted it back. I gave it to him(obviously) and he walks over to the table he’d sat at that hadn’t been bussed by the busser yet and leaves me a little less than two dollars in just straight up change.
Maybe it just made me feel weird or just idk. AITA for being low key annoyed? It was the weirdest thing ever and so awkward for me to have to pull the money out of my apron and give it back to him just to get left a pile of pennies and a few nickels.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jhSKXV0eae9IP5nRbawyGuEP9S2gTHkU
|
a0oy2v
|
{
"description": "reporting people to the cops",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for reporting people to the cops?
|
They were Black Lives Matter racists and doing weed so I reported them (I don’t like virtue signalling)to kill two birds with one stone. One got arrested and the others got police warnings and cautions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
xATFubF9FKoPJi0vV1Dvc8qO9iSBbjR5
|
acihpd
|
{
"description": "hating my mother now",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating my mother now
|
I don't even know where to begin but I guess I'll try to make it short and sweet, or not. Back in June, I decided to do music full time even tho prior too this has always been a passion of mine, something that makes me extremely happy and fulfilled since I was about 4 years old I knew I wanted to be a singer! Growing up I was a pretty good,quiet kid, as opposed to my sister (she had actually gotten pregnant at 14) and skyrocketed into a life of being a stripper and full time prostitution. My mother started to become verbally abusive to me when I was about 17, this was around the time I had my first real boyfriend and for some reason she thought this was rebelling against her image of me and it only got worse from there, we barely talked, barely hugged or said I love you to each other,
I became very fearful of my mother and her mood swings, she started demanding that I pay some rent and I did my best to oblige as I was working part time and barely made much, once I didn't pay her and she told my sister ( my sister is a very unhappy violent individual at times), to which my sister came into my room while I was asleep , woke me up and proceeded to interrogate me , I had explained that I was confused about the whole situation and then she just started punching me in the face, my mother stood there and did nothing for about 3 min and then broke it up, I was heart broken .
My mother has called me a bitch in heated arguments that she had started over petty matters such as a dish in the sink or an uncleaned bathroom. When I was 19 ,I was raped and decided to take it to trial,she offered no comfort in the situation and was more so mad that the first person I called when it happened was my best friend. I had a cat at the time that my friend had given me a while before all this and my mother said I could keep it at the time, then all had changed after the assault. When I was going through this tough time, she kept telling me I had to get rid of the cat which I had loved dearly and didn't understand why she had chosen such a time to do this to me. I had told her I would try my best to find somewhere for him to go because I was busy with court meetings.
One morning, I had left to go to one and she called me blowing up my phone yelling at me about how if I didn't get rid of him she was going to do it herself, low and behold she did and texted me in the middle of my meeting "the cat is gone" I started crying right in the middle of it and couldn't even explain to my lawyer at the time what was going on because it was all so sporadic and evil .
Even then, I still let it go, and tried to make amends with my mother to which she always blamed me for the assault and shouted demeaning things to me I still tried to give her the benefit of the doubt unlike my sister who eventually cut off all ties from my mother claiming she hated her.
Now I'm starting to see why. My mother hates that I do music full time but never once have I heard her criticize my sister for her choice of job, she calls me lazy and offers no support or even wants to listen to my music or asks me about my shows and how they are going, anytime I bring up a show it's always "are they gonna pay you" to which I explain that the money is not important to me at all. She tells all my family members that I am disrespectful , rude, and unwilling to work but she leaves out the fact that I have been working tirelessly hard towards this since I was 15
Am I the asshole for never speaking to her again? I have tried to understand her but now thinking deeply, I woke up this morning with a deep anger at how much her abuse has caused me to be insecure and cautious of being myself, my father walked out of my life when I was 11 and this further wounded me. At this point I want nothing to do with the aspect of parents. I'm ready to never speak to her again. I have voiced my hurts about the situations to which she responds that everything was my fault. I'm hurt, I'm tired and I don't know what else to do
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
SnluXfZXW9gao9f74GSLXbqyxRgWLbFb
|
b5gr8q
|
{
"description": "not wanting a traditional wedding",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not wanting a traditional wedding?
|
Even before I was officially engaged, I made it explicitly clear I and my fiance didn't want a traditional wedding. My family says that's fine, have a non-traditional wedding. Well, cut to now when we're about to get married, and my family is constantly hounding me for doing traditional aspects of a wedding. For starters, I don't want to wear a veil. I don't really like them to begin with, they're not my style, and they're also a bit sexist. Another thing I don't want to do is have my dad walk me down the aisle.
Now I love my dad. He's a great guy. I just don't like the idea of having a man walk me to another man and give me away. I think it's pretty sexist. I would like to meet my husband at the end of the aisle as a human being, and not as a daughter or female, if that makes sense. When I told my dad this, he said that was okay and that it was my wedding, so I could do it the way I wanted to.
When I wrote the wording for the invitations, I showed my parents to make sure it looked good, and my mom got mad because I didn't say that they were hosting the wedding. They're not. They've given us money, but made it clear it could be for whatever we wanted. It's also a bit outdated to say your parents are hosting your wedding, in my opinion, especially if the wedding isn't formal. I had the invitations made with just my name and my fiance's name anyways.
Well, a week or so ago, the invitations came in, and since my mom was handling the RSVPs and invitations, I only put her name on the return address. Apparently this was a big issue because it meant that my mom was single and that my dad wasn't a part of the wedding process. My mom demanded that I get the envelopes remade with my dad's name on it as well, and my dad said that I was shitting my parents by not including their names on the envelopes.
When I talked to my sister about this, she told me that I was in the wrong about the names, the invitations, and not being walked down an aisle. She even told me that she would let the veil issue go if I let my dad walk me down the aisle. Umm...what?
And it's not like I haven't made compromises with my parents. I had my fiance ask for my dad's permission--which, again, I was against because I'm not property. I also ordered corsages for my mom and fiance's mom to wear at the wedding so they can feel honored despite the fact that there's no wedding party.
So am I in the wrong on any of this? I don't feel like I am, but would like some opinions outside of my conservative family.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
h4Zo0lhAHjMezApm2k52LNkQ1lIe5Gyf
|
aukg3u
|
{
"description": "not leaving a friend of 6 month staying at my home until he got another house",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not leaving a friend of 6 month staying at my home until he got another house ?
|
I've meet this guy because he sells weed, and the rural rules here is, at least, to offers some drink to your guest and talk a bit (I live deep in the moutain).
Due to this and the fact I don't have any social contact here (only mu husband), we became friends, and I helped him a lot. Basicaly, he is just a pot smoker witheout job since 2 years, too lazy to make the adequate paper for having funds, not paying his electricity bills or his rent, etc. But I don't mind and like him besides that (but damn, sometime I really wanted to slap him in the face, hoping it will wake him up), and he's helping me to do grocery, etc.
​
Basicaly, we ;
​
\* gave him a bit of money
\* pay several time for food and drink because he have nothing
\* let him sleep here
\* using my car several time besides the fact he don't have a driver license
\* pay him fuel
\* stocking his furniture
\*been here for him everytime he was coming without warning us, even at 5AM or when we're working (remote jobs) and listen to him for hours
\* giving him weed
\* etc
​
Some weeks ago, police started to investigate about the small cannabis traffic in the town, so he completely freaked out, stopped smoking, and his paranoïa/complotism is worser than ever(pharma lobby, nuclear bomb...).
He come here for a full day everytime now.
​
Yersteday, he send me a long sms asking to stay here in exchange of chores, etc. I took the night to think for an answer, since it was obvisouly no and that I hate conflict, and still wanted to help him.
​
I've arleady hosted friends and it give me really bad memories. And since he does'nt have a job or diploma, or family to help, I know it would took month and month for him to find a house. I will not sacrifice relationship for that.
​
I answered very kindly and explained that sadly, I can't stand people too long, and it will be a bad experience for both of us. But that my house is still open for him, and that he can come when he want to, for a meal, a drink or sleeping a bit.
​
He answered me "I wish I would never warned you about X (an asshole who steal me money and laying to me) so he would have stole everything in your house and steal your dogs too. You did your choice, i'm going away, blablabla".
​
wow, rude dude. He answered "same for you, dude".
​
I'm a very solitary person, since I'm a lot autistic and don't understand the how to. But I'm (too) kind, always avoid conflicts at all cost, and always try to help the best I can. But I'm agreed that I'm a total social derp.
​
I really feel like an asshole for not letting him to stay here, but other part in my brain is telling me that protecting myself is the right thing to do.
He will come today for packing his stuff.
​
​
\- I know you don't like "sorry for my english I'm not native" but here it goes ! sorry for the eyes bleed !
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fxLdxjj9aBtdvFfR2Ybe9I03IQ6n7erg
|
akshgy
|
{
"description": "telling my friend she is a \"cat whisperer\"",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend she is a "cat whisperer"
|
So apparently she is very mad at me now, but I still don't understand what exactly happened. AITA for telling her the joke?
So to put everything in perspective, she is very shy, and I'm also shy. We have known each other for several months. She likes biology and topics related to animals, and her family also has a lot of cats as pets (key element to the story).
So this morning she gave me this book about animal behavior so I could read the first chapter and tell her If I liked it or not, but the day passed and I didn't tell her. So this afternoon I decided not to wait for tomorrow and tell her by messages, and this happened:
# (Note: this is a translation, the original conversation is in Spanish)
>**+Sooo, do you want to know if I liked the book or not?**
>
>*-Well, if you tell me*
>
>**+I liked it, but I don't think it was better than the book about economy**
>
>*-What a lie*
>
>*-That book was and is horrible*
>
>**+Okok**
>
>**+Each one with their tastes**
>
>**+Cat whisperer**
>
>**+By the way ¿Is your passion for animals influenced by the fact that your house is a zoo? xd**
>
>(Note: just for the record, the word zoo sounds a little harsh, but I just used it because she already used "zoo" to describe her own house multiple times)
>
>*-What do you say???*
>
>*-I don't whisper to cats*
>
>*-I don't have mental disorder with cats*
>
>**+I said it because you have a lot of cats**
>
>**+You know is a joke right?**
>
>*-Conclusion, the fact that I have many cats doesn't mean I have a mental disorder or that I spend the day taking care of them as if I had no life*
>
>**+I din't say that**
>
>**+Are you angry?**
>
>*-No, but don't tell me I whisper to cats because I look like a mentally disturbed person that lives alone in her house like the crazy cat woman on the Simpsons*
>
>**+I didn't say you had any problem, I only told a joke**
>
>**+Sorry if I offended you**
>
>*-Excuse me sir for not interpreting your jokes*
So apparently she is very mad at me now, but I still don't understand what exactly happend. AITA for telling her the joke?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NerVy5azMR0zVH4cRxqjKc2yQgQdAmRY
|
as2sj3
|
{
"description": "telling my Uni Project members that I don't want to meet at nights anymore",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I told my Uni Project members that I don't want to meet at nights anymore.
|
I'm on a team project with a few other people and our schedules don't really line up very well. We have a set time during an afternoon for meeting but we often need to meet more than once a week.
I have classes late at night MWF and since I work all morning, I don't really get anytime to myself before I have to get to sleep for classes in the morning. This is causing me stress and, while it isn't at the point where it's some serious mental health situation, it is messing up my dinner time, social life, and workout and is making me generally unhappy.
I want to set boundaries and not have to have meetings on weekends or evenings (6pm-8pm). Its not that I don't want to work, I still have homework to do which I do on those times, but I can do them at my own pace. I mentioned this in person during class but they "want everyone to be there."
As for this project, I have and will continue to work on it during my own time but that apparently isn't good enough for them. While I get that we need to make decisions as a group, we already have a set time to do that & group texting is a thing.
WIBTA for telling them that I'm setting a boundary and will not be meeting on weekends or evenings going forward?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
SXZQ9aiMeq7zjKLZBiTnHWnWMlsyC4lP
|
ar87wz
|
{
"description": "yelling at my depressed sister for not doing housework",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for yelling at my depressed sister for not doing housework?
|
throwaway in case she sees my account.
My sister (19F) and I (22F) both live with our parents who are currently on a two-month vacation. She studies full-time and works two-part time jobs, and I work full-time. Recently she’s become so lazy. Her room is an absolute mess, she only sweeps/vacuums when I tell her to, and when she leaves the house she doesn’t empty out the rubbish like she’s supposed to. I work a full-time job, so it’s hard for me to do absolutely everything. I sweep and do dishes when I can, but I really need her to pull her weight. A few weeks ago my sister had a mental breakdown and literally wouldn’t stop crying for three days. She wouldn’t talk to anyone in the family. I tried confronting her about it but she wouldn’t tell me anything so I told her to go to a doctor. She has to take control of her own health. Well, I don’t believe she ever visited the doctor. She stopped crying but she’s still annoyingly lazy. Last night I had about 10 work friends over for pizza and drinks. This morning she had to leave at around 7am. In the morning I told her to clean all the rubbish and empty the kitchen bins before she left the house. When I woke up today I noticed that she put the wrong type of garbage bag in the bin. She clearly couldn’t be bothered to find the right ones. So when I came home tonight I confronted her about her behaviour and told her she was become lazier by the day, and that she needed to get a grip. And then she started crying again! For no good reason. She needs to understand how to take constructive criticism in my opinion. However, when I was telling my boyfriend all of this, he told me that I was being way too harsh considering everything that went down. But in my defence I believe that her mental health and laziness are two separate things, and that she needs to pull her weight. I told her that she shouldn’t work or study if she isn’t capable of doing simple household chores. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
jzmXbaADz8CfImctEdAbVPRgDghV27WB
|
a1ihbj
|
{
"description": "leaving my sister-in-law's wedding early",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I left my sister-in-law’s wedding early?
|
My husband’s sister is getting married Saturday, and wants no kids at the wedding except her own. I have an 8 year old, a 6 year old, and a 4 month old who is exclusively breastfed. My mom is watching all three of them, and I will be leaving pumped milk for the baby. I work full time and pump while I am at work, so it’s not a huge issue for me to bring my pump and just excuse myself every couple hours to pump. However, it’s uncomfortable, it takes so much longer than just feeding the baby (about 30 minutes a session), and my boobs are always sore afterwards. I hate to do it. My husband asked her if it was ok to bring the baby, since he is a breastfeeding infant, but she said no. This isn’t an issue - it’s her wedding and if she doesn’t want a baby there that’s her prerogative.
My question is this: would it be an asshole move for me to stay through the ceremony, the pictures, and dinner, and then excuse myself and go home so I don’t have to pump? My husband is staying to be his dad’s DD either way, so if I left right after dinner he would still be staying.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BPBjywwu5oZQMfO2jWvc1g45bP0My22N
|
admbml
|
{
"description": "wanting a relationship with my wifes sister",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for wanting a relationship with my wifes sister?
|
I know this question has been asked before and I know the typical responses, but try to hear my point of view. My(M31) wife(F33) and I have been married for 11 years, together for 14. We have always had our differences, I am very driven, up early and ready to go/ she sleeps until noon. I move quickly to get things done/ she takes a full day to accomplish anything. Shes very religious/ I am not. Shes overprotective of our son and I feel like she and he both need to distance themselves and let him grow into his own personality. She can barely keep the laundry done and I can finish all of her house work in 3 hours. I work 65 hours a week and she hasn't worked since we met. This is not to paint a picture of how "awful" my wife is, it's not that shes a bad person, shes just very VERY different than I am. Her sister(F27) on the other hand, went to college, got a career, up early, healthy eater, still very religious, proactive, excercises, keeps clean, very organized and social. We share similar tastes in movies, music, nostalgia food etc. My wife and I had always been at odds about our differences and just assumed that that's what made us who we are and the sex was great so it kept everything held together, but eventually the sex wained. At first it was only once a week, then once every two weeks, then once a month. Now we go months without sex and shes gone from 139lbs to very close to 250. Shes destroyed her body, doesn't want to touch me and is always scowling at me but swears she loves me. I started having feelings for her sister about 6-7 years ago and I can keep it at bay if I stay away from her but recently shes been going through some hardships and I have been there to help her and its welling up inside me to the point to where I just want to tell her that I have feelings for her (I know she doesn't feel the same, and she would never hurt her sister but the feelings are still there dammit). I know that everyone is going to say it's just a crush and that she would never betray her sister and I'm a POS for catching feelings and I am aware of how messed up it is, but I still feel it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
p6mFJUNDcPQ4twWrzewtncBw72b9LV7g
|
axudlf
| null |
WIBTA if I got angry at my friend because of stuff she always brings up
|
Ok so some background context before we get into this I(17 mtf) have a friend (also 17 mtf) for the record mtf is the acronym people use for trans women. Anyway so my and my friend who we will call j have known eachother for a time, almost 4 years. But recently as I talk to her it feels like se concentrating on the things that make me look bad, in a weird way. So we had a mutual friend a while back who I dated, let's call em L during this period he made sexual advances I made clear were not welcome, anyway long story short turns out the guy is a dick and he leaves out town. Recently when L is brought up she goes into something along the line of "you don't have it as bad as me, I had it the worst" in different ways. It happens almost every time. I want to sometimes say "yeah I get it you had a bad time, doesn't discount mine" one of the other things is that she is into body horror stuff(mostly works by junji Ito), which is cool but I hate it, I'm not exactly squeamish but it makes me wildly uncomfortable. She knows this and yet brings it up so often, and tries to get me to read it. Another problem lies in our dysphoria, which usually lands us on common ground but she does the "trust me it's easier for you cause you're skinny" act which I hate because I have got an eating disorder, which she knows about. But keeps telling me things like "I would kill for your body", etc. I hate it because once again diminishing my problems because hers are worse. And then there's the subject of V. V is a mutual friend that we both dated, her before me. We have both broken up with him on amicable terms. However anytime I bring up Something happy that happened with him when just talking about relationships she always butts in with something like "HAHAHA it's so funny how you dated him even though I'm still in love with him" the same thing happens when ever I bring my current partner but in a different matter that always frames me as being bad for bringing up my happiness because she doesn't have it. For the record when I was dating V J has broken up with him months beforehand and was cool with out relationship. I don't know what happened and it's tiring to be told that my problems don't matter because she's got worse ones, or how somehow I've wronged her. And it's getting irritating and I just want to shout that not everything is about her and for her to just let people have happiness without bringing her problems into it immediately. WIBTA if I called her out?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PsbYpkavK0SVq3epA7Vflm1iODC1Nakj
|
arv0te
|
{
"description": "not being able to feed my sister's cats twice a day",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not being able to feed my sister's cats twice a day?
|
Haven't posted here before, but hey, here goes. It's a simple issue, but with a whole lot of background, and probably not all that interesting. Please ask if something is unclear, as I am emotional while writing this and probably glossed over some things.
Background:
My older sister and I have always had a relationship where she tells me to do something, and I do it, cause she's older and I have been a weak person. If I didn't want to do things for her, she'd be mean and nasty, making me feel horrible(telling me I was being disappointing and so annoying etc). Until recently I have been depressed(I got proffesional help and a BF, helping me a lot), and any interraction with her would usually bump me down a couple notches, making me worse, knowing I could never be a good sister to her.
Though she has gotten better lately, after she got a guy, a kid, and a house, she doesn't ask me to do things as often, but if I am not following her plans to the t, she insults me, mostly on Messenger, either in the family-group or one-on-one. Today is one-on-one talk.
I said yes to watching her cats a month or two ago, since her fam is leaving for a vacation, and her house is on my way to work. I thought "Sure, I can go to Uni in the morning, hurry over to work afterwards, and drop by after I've been at work, not too big of a task. Done it before, after all. "
Wrong.
When I told her my plan of attack on this thing, she got mad. "Her cats needs to be fed twice a day, morning and evening. Once a day would NEVER have been enough, she has told me this a million times before, I should be routinated by now, she shouldn't have to tell me this every time."
I understand that cats need food, but I have not gotten this explained to me. If I have, it must have been years ago, when I lived near her, and I could just drop by, and didn't have to make a 30-60 minutes detour cause the busses in her area is pretty scarce. She has offered me to sleep at her place so i can feed them, but I never connected this to be because they needed to be fed twice a day. I might just be dumb here, I don't know, she offered me to stay at their place before, so I could have a break from my parents when I lived there 5 years ago, I thought it was just hospitality carrying on.
When I tell her I can't drop by twice a day to feed her cats, since I have Uni and work, she becomes really mad. "They're leaving in three days, it's such a bother, and I have been told this so many times. She is incredibly disappointed, and she can't believe I only fed her cats once when I have been caring for them before. If she knew I would do this, she would have never asked me, since I would be useless."
And, to be fair, THIS she has told me that once before. I got asked to feed them before, about two years ago, and did such a bad job on not getting the key from my mom, which i had no idea she had(!!)" traveled for 45 minutes by car to feed the cats, see that the door was locked and the key was not in the usual place, went and bought cat-food and left it outside the house. I then sent a message to my sister and let her know before I went out with my roommate and newly gotten BF to a restaurant to celebrate something I can't remember, because of the following event. Five minutes after sitting down, I get called by my sister, where she yells at me for "being a useless cat-feeder and that she was putting so much trust in me by letting me feed her cats. There was no way she would ever let me feed them again, as I was so bad at it." I cried in the restaurant, in front of my Roommate and BF because of her cussing me out. I had to travel another 45 minutes to get the keys, then the 45 minutes back to feed her cats, and then apologize to her for being such a bad cat-sitter.
Tldr; Older sister wants me to sleep at her place so I can feed her cats twice a day, and surprisingly I have a life that doesn't make it possible. This is the second time she calls me a useless cat-sitter, and I'm basically an asshole for making her find someone else to watch her cats.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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zGHbnpD6BeJ3JkJUbMg4sahjHeE6n7M3
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b40eks
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{
"description": "playing a video really loud in a quiet space so the other person would leave",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
AITA for playing a video really loud in a quiet space so the other person would leave?
|
So I’m a student at a pretty big university. I have a couple of hours in between my first two classes of the day, so I usually try and snag this small sound proof study room to get some work done in between classes. So this particular day its empty, so I rush in and shut the door and unpack my stuff. This study room is big enough for maybe 5 people. It’s a circle and it’s around 10 x 10 ft, maybe smaller. I start doing some work for class (this particular assignment I was drawing sketches) when another student that I didn’t know opened the door and sat down and said “you don’t mind, do you?” I was so shocked that someone would come in to such a small space with someone they don’t know that I just looked at them and didn’t say anything. She pulls out some fast food from her bag and starts eating loudly, to where I can hear her spit sloshing around. That sound grosses me out so I’m getting pretty angry when her phone starts vibrating, and to my surprise she actually picks up and answers the phone call. She talks to the person on the phone for about 30 seconds and then hangs up. Then, she starts playing music through her headphones and typing away on her laptop. This whole time I’m just trying to do my sketches, but I’m getting more and more fed up with her behavior. I can hear her music despite the fact that she is wearing headphones, and her typing on her keyboard is echoing throughout the study room. I decided Ive had enough but I couldn’t ask her to leave because I technically hadn’t said no when she walked in, so I opened my laptop and started playing a random YouTube video pretty loud and pretended like I was playing attention to it. I felt her immediately look up at me but I pretended I didn’t notice until about 20 seconds pass and she says “do you have headphones or anything that you can put in?” I said no (i actually did) to which she replied “well can you turn it down a bit? It’s really distracting.” I again said no and added “I shouldn’t have to turn my stuff down when you’re the one who came in here with me. I was here first and can do what I want.” She rolled her eyes and put her headphones back in so I turned the video up as loud as it could go. About a minute passes and she again asks me to please stop to which I reply no. Then she packs up and leaves and cusses me out on the way. Am I the asshole for technically allowing her to come in but then changing my mind and being annoying so that she’d leave?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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XWaVSTI2DLi3258pax5KUEYXqbO8fskg
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azl6sp
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{
"description": "not wanting to try a new food when I'm at a restaurant with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to try a new food when I’m at a restaurant with my mom.
|
hi! Some background info is that I have an issue with sensory processing. My main issue with my senses is that certain textures make me gag and feel sick. I don’t like it either, I want to be able to eat everything and I have been broadening my horizons, but its difficult in a public environment while I have food in the first place.
I am not one of those people that eats only chicken tenders with fries, but it is my go-to if nothing appeals to me. But this happens every single time I am at a restaurant, even when I am trying something new and I like it.
While I am eating, my mom will push something in my face and tell me to try it. Sometimes I will try it, even though I know it’ll make me gag. Other times I am eating my food and am just not interested in what my mom wants me to eat. I usually give a polite no, but she never really takes no for an answer.
It will often devolve into an argument, with me firmly saying that I’m not very interested, and her repeatedly telling me that I just have to try it. She will frequently say that I am impossible to deal with, and this is all my fault. She gets very upset when I just don’t really want to eat something when I already have something in front of me to eat. Sometimes she will tell me that I don’t love her, and that she’s an awful mother when I won’t try something. I tell her that her doing this bothers me, and I have explained that I don’t want to start violently gagging in public, and that I just want to eat the food in front of me. But usually she’ll do it again and the cycle continues. She sometimes will make me try a food I already tried and don’t like.
I just want to eat in peace and not have every outing devolve into a massive argument.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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DVvSQlzTaW7nEoNeK77AWLltpk0zAoTN
|
aqlrvm
|
{
"description": "not giving my friend a different reason for declining her bachelorette party invitation",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving my friend a different reason for declining her bachelorette party invitation?
|
In a couple of months, I will be a bridesmaid for an old friend "Sarah". This isnt about Sarah, but here's some more background info. Sarah's bachelorette party and wedding are across the country (about 10 hours round trip flight, each time), in the same month.
Another friend, "Callie" is also getting married the week after Sarah and her bachelorette party is the weekend before Sarah's. Callie's wedding is also the weekend after Sarah's, which I plan on attending.
Callie invited me to her bachelorette party which is going to be about an hour drive away, but I declined, citing the fact that I already had a lot of plans around that time and don't want to get burned out. Callie was understanding, but told me her feelings were hurt and that she would have felt better if I had said I couldn't go for financial reasons, as it was coming off as me just not wanting to go.
While finances did play into my decision, it wasn't the main reason that I thought it'd be better to not go. AITA for not going and for not giving her a different reason?
TL;DR, I told a friend I didnt want to go her bachelorette because I think I'll get burned out on social activities and she would rather I have told her I couldn't afford it.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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912CKojnc6EOwNwfNmNZYx1tNHSn6OBx
|
aefgwj
|
{
"description": "not encouraging my 6yo to have a relationship with her bio dad and 4 half siblings",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not encouraging my 6yo to have a relationship with her bio dad and 4 half siblings?
|
I was married for 4 years and had a child. Biodad (BD) raised daughter for 2.5 years and did not work, despite my pleading for him to get a job and put her in daycare. He refused on the grounds he didnt want strangers raising her or risk her being abused. BD has 4 other children with 2 different women, prior to our relationship. He saw them on 2 occasions in the 4 years we were together. Daughter met them on one of these occasions when she was 2.
BD was controlling, meaning I could not go out with friends without him, I had no privacy (my phone and journal were monitored), he encouraged me to have little contact with family (who hated him) and when we argued, my things were broken. I eventually came to my senses and kicked him out, to which he fled to his home state immediately. He had a new gf within 2 weeks, so I filed for divorce. I was awarded full custody and child support, he received supervised visitation. He has not attempted to see his daughter since the day he left, although has made approximately 10 sporadic Skype phone calls across 4 years and sent 1 gift. He has also made all child support payments, with the exception of 4 (likely while he was between jobs).
BD and I do not speak regularly, nor have I spoken to his other children in 4 years. I do not keep pictures of him around, nor do I speak of him, except when daughter asks. She typically asks what his name was and then forgets. She is getting smarter, last week she asked if he doesnt live here anymore because we didnt get along. She has no knowledge of siblings and does not recall meeting 3 of the 4 siblings when she was 2. Siblings are various ages, 8, 11, 15, and 16 and all live in different, very distant states. I worry about how and when to tell her about siblings. I believe I am NTA for not encouraging her to have a relationship with BD, as he appears to be a deadbeat and makes little attempt to reach out. I believe it would be harmful to encourage this, given his inconsistency. I believe its very likely he has even more kids with a 4th women, given that past behavior is a predictor of future behavior.
So, AITA for not encouraging her to have a relationship with 4 half siblings?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aAoOEu1qoblkunnMD6DtLcsnymWrj2JY
|
b8uk9x
|
{
"description": "hating a friend for a grudge 1 year ago",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating a friend for a grudge 1 year ago
|
I’m on mobile. I am English. I am not sorry. Blah.
This is a somewhat petty hatred. T (her name from now on) has always been loud and obnoxious. In our friendship group there is the close 4 people, her being included in this. She has always acted as if everyone loves her and to the extent, they do.
I started disliking her when I told her about a crush I had on S, a boy in my history class. Not 2 months later, they started dating. I wouldn’t be pissed off if she hadn’t flaunted her relationship in front of EVERYONE in our group. That’s when everyone else started having a distaste for her but they all got over it. I did not.
T began attempting to push me out of the group, and S was beginning to be a bigger part of it.
Because prom was coming up, everyone decided that S would be holding it at his house, because he had a big field attached to it. This was a big deal for a 15/16 year old hermit, who had never gone to a party before (pathetic I know...) It was ideal for our big group of friends, as there were about 15 of us going. Then a few weeks before the prom, I was doing a drama lesson, which ran into lunch time. After this, I got lots of people in my friendship group coming up to me asking if I was okay. Then R (close friend) mentioned T SLAGING me off to practical strangers. I asked R why she would do that, and apparently I had invited a girl I didn’t like much to the after party. I did no such thing. I got angry but couldn’t find T anywhere. Later on my friends said that she uninvited me because the party was being held at HER boyfriends house. (This bitch...)
When I got home, I saw a text on my phone from T. This is the actual massage she sent.
“Hey I’m really sorry about the miss understanding I didn’t mean any harm I thought you’d been inviting people which I guess would be ok if we didn’t have a limit of people but I was in a bad mood so sorry if I upset you !”
1. We didn’t have a limit that I knew of
2. She wasn’t in a bad mood when I saw her
3. I never got an in person sorry
I was nice, bit my tongue and said it’s okay, but for her to talk to me. It’s never been the same. We still talk, but now she is just annoying and horrible in my eyes. I see all the negatives about her and feel like a terrible person for hating her. So AITA for hating someone for a small thing they did a year ago?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
WUqoxQEvznyOUaaGEvHnUGTIVKVuEoix
|
aqf7kc
|
{
"description": "offering a tissue to a sniffling woman",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for offering a tissue to a sniffling woman?
|
Pretty simple situation, I was in public and a random stranger sat down beside me and had a wicked case of the sniffles. Every 30 seconds, *sniff*. In case it is relevant, they appeared to be 70+ years old and were accompanied by what appeared to be their granddaughter. I didn't have the option of leaving my position and was forced to bare it or offer them a tissue.
I consulted my partner after and she was adamant that if I had offered a tissue I would be the asshole. Reddit, thoughts?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Fpw5bTYpHvLP8kuXfSYXWZpNqKiSqCSV
|
aplwjj
|
{
"description": "not wanting people to look over my shoulder while drawing",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting people to look over my shoulder while drawing
|
So I am a university which a large art program, there’s a lounge dedicated for people in the arts to chill out (watching T.V. and drawing and stuff). For some reason, there are a lot of people that will walk in, and look over your shoulder to see what you are drawing. I am generally an anxious and private person, I only like showing off pieces when they are finished. I also have a hard time with explaining what I’m drawing because seeing them behind me watching makes me jump and stutter. I don’t draw pornography or anything, I just personally don’t like people watching me draw.
But when I ask people to not look over my shoulder while I’m drawing, they usually look confused and hurt. Sometimes I can sound very firm when I ask them to stop looking over my shoulder.
I’m not one of those people that assumes that people are watching me when they aren’t actually, I usually don’t notice unless someone explicitly asks me what im drawing or leans over my shoulder.
Am I the asshole when I ask people to not watch me draw? Should I just take it and try my best to answer whatever questions they have?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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