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a3hPYAScmujadM41wnTGwosF49DvZEn5
|
b3kjk7
|
{
"description": "vetoing my husband's name choice for our child",
"pronormative_score": 338,
"contranormative_score": 40
}
|
AITA for vetoing my husband's name choice for our child?
|
My husband and I were having trouble agreeing on a name for our daughter, so we decided we'd each pick one and then decide which arrangement sounded better to determine which name would be a first name and which would be the middle. It wasn't an in depth conversation so we didn't discuss vetoes or anything. I genuinely didn't think there would be anything he chose that I would hate that much.
He picked the name Aryann (pronounced Ah-ree-ann). I don't know where he got that, but I'm Jewish and having a kid with a name so close to "aryan" is not okay with me. I suggested we change the spelling but he won't budge because he thinks it looks pretty. He thinks I'm reading too deep into it and that no one will think twice about the name "Aryann." Am I the asshole for wanting to put my foot down about this and ask him to choose another name?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 35,
"OTHER": 295,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 43,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 338,
"WRONG": 40
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
aif4gt
|
{
"description": "not telling my bf what's in the fridge",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not telling my bf what's in the fridge?
|
Today my (25F) boyfriend (27M) asked me yet again what's good to eat in our fridge instead of just getting up from the couch and checking for himself.
I don't like it when he does that and I've explained that it makes me feel like I'm mothering him.
The whole thing blew up into a fight and now he's not talking to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
awxq5z
|
{
"description": "having a boyfriend that's 5 years younger than me",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having a boyfriend that's 5 years younger than me?
|
I'm 24. In late spring of last year, I met someone online that I found out I had a lot in common with. We kept chatting for a while, and he revealed that he was 18 (19 now). In the summer, he revealed that he had begun developing feelings for me, and wanted to pursue a relationship with me. I was a bit hesitant at first, partly due to it being long-distance, but mainly because of the 5-year age gap. Still, we kept growing closer and closer, and decided to give it a chance in September.
While the majority of people who know about us seem to be supportive, he has some friends that seem to disagree. According to my boyfriend, they keep referring to me as someone that's "grooming" him, and basically portraying me as a predator, despite never having met me.
So yeah, my question is if I'm the 'bad guy' here, for being in a relationship with someone younger and more impressionable than me, or if his friends are assholes for labeling me as a "predator" just because of the age difference.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b9y2nq
|
{
"description": "laughing at my teammates' lateness",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for laughing at my teammates’ lateness
|
I am very awkward in social situations. I am quiet and I’ve been asked by multiple people whom I’ve never spoken to if I’m mad at them because apparently my extreme shyness translates to a look of hatred. But I do not hate anyone I’ve gone to school with. I’m just socially inept. But this is the way I’m perceived.
Given this, please tell me if my actions in the following story are assholish and if there’s anyway i Can and should fix it. Thank you.
I am in a research team with three other people. We are technically not teammates, the only thing that links us is our mutual research advisor. We will not be working together but we meet every week with our research advisor to go over our individual research projects.
For clarities sake, I will call my advisor Dr. Will.
So today we met and our advisor was reminding us of the deadlines for our drafts. He asked when the review paper deadline was according to his schedule, and one of my teammates checked the syllabus and told him the date it was due which was a month ago. I had turned my review paper in on time last month, but no one else had turned theirs in.
Dr. Will got a bit pissed, not yelling or anything, but he was like “cmon guys there’s no excuse to be this late. I received (my name)’s paper like a year ago!”
At this, I laughed. It was funny, that he exagérate d that much. I normally laugh at a lot of what he says because he’s a funny guy.
My teammates were silent and kind of panicky, and Dr. Will said “BOOM reality check.” And I think I kind of giggled at that too.
Only after this happened did I realize they might have thought I was laughing at them. I feel like a total asshole.
If this happened to you, would you think I was an asshole and that I was laughing at your misfortune? Is that how the situation looks?
Thanks.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VW2OmuoloERc7FZpiyqSQtArO9DnxTOK
|
aqh7w1
|
{
"description": "not wanting a second child due to Autism",
"pronormative_score": 69,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting a second child due to Autism?
|
Today my wife and I found out our young son has Autism. Apparently it is only officially diagnosable at 4 years old but the specialist took one look at our boy, made us answer some questions and said without a doubt our son is Autistic. As upsetting as it is, I saw it coming. Call it intuition or just knowing what the signs were or whatever, but finding out my son has Autism isn't something I am surprised about.
To say our son is a handful is an understatement. Between us we get between 3 - 5 hours of sleep a night due to his constant screaming and violent thrashing. He refuses/is unable to sleep alone so our bed has had three people in it for nearly 2 years now. He has eczema all over his body and has allergies to most things.
I love my son, I love him with every fiber of my being and yet, it doesn't feel right to me to bring another life that could be like him. We always wanted a second child but with his physical difficulties and now the confirmation of his Autism, I changed my mind. I don't want to bring another person into the world if they're just going to have a life as hard as my son's.
Most of us went to school with at least one kid with Autism, and the ones I went to school with were bullied pretty severely. I feel it is selfish to want to bring a child into the world if they're going to be as badly afflicted (if not worse) as my boy. My wife thinks I am being selfish and spiteful and an asshole for saying these things but I feel the opposite. I'm not willing to roll those dice. And so as someone without anyone to give the neccessary immediate insight I need right now I turn to the internet. Am i the asshole?
TL;DR : Found out son is autistic and I don't want another child due to the potential of them being as bad or worse than him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 51,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 18,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 69,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
AJu1JlemhKS2j1wVcIyCf3cASdAwbSZN
|
b2rwu9
|
{
"description": "roasting my mother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For roasting my Mother?
|
Background Info: My parents have been divorced as long as I can remember and I have been living with my Dad for about 7 years now and I would say that me and my mom get along pretty good after having some beef a while back. Also I'm 20 years old.
​
So I have a dog that basically lives at my moms place since me and my dad don't have the time or room to take proper care of her. My dog just got a tumor removed and when I got the news that the surgery was a success I came to visit later that day and brought some treats for my dog. After greeting everyone I sit down and talk with my mom and her husband about how things are going and so on, the typical stuff. After a while my litte brother (18 years old) sits down with us and joins the conversation. After about 2-3 hours I decide to leave, so I stand up and stretch my back and this exchange took place. ( It is very common for everyone in the family the just roast each other in good fun when they have the chance)
​
Brother: "God damn you're fat how much do you weigh?" (I'm actually rather skinny)
Me: "I don't know last time I stood on a scale was in 1458." (I often exaggerate like that)
Mother: "Wow I didn't know I was that old" (While laughing)
Me: "Must have been a long time since you last looked into a mirror then"
​
My brother and her husband burst out laughing but my mom gets angry, telling me how dare I and tells me to leave and walks into the kitchen. I just leave cause talking to her while she is angry is impossible.
She has been on the receiving end of roasts like that before and always took it in good fun and even had some really good comebacks here and there.
​
Now am I the asshole or did she just overreact?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DbcTNvijQX6IqFbOJEnLPlHu65PPS1u5
|
b13tqf
| null |
AITA in the story between me and my sister?
|
So this happend a long time ago but my sister is still blaming me.
First of all, I'm male. At the time, I was 26 and she was 23 then. We both graduated from college and we lived apart from each other in the city (Hanoi), away from our hometown where my parents live. One afternoon, she asked me to take her around the city to find her a new place to rent. I took her on my bike for a few hours around but we did not find any place. So we decided to go back to my place and rest, and we'd continue the next morning. She decided to take the next day off from her work.
And the story begins when I deposited my bike at a parking yard nearby since there was no space to park it at my rental place. When one deposits his bike at a parking yard, the guard there gives him a ticket with a number. If he wants to get the bike out, he needs to show his ticket. If he loses it, he has to pay a fine of 50.000 VND (\~$3) and needs to sign a form.
We came back to my place after the bike was deposited, and slept. The next morning, I didn't find the ticket anywhere and I was frustrated as I was sure that I did bring the ticket to my room. I tried to find a reason for the loss of the bike ticket and I blamed my sister for hiding it. I thought she did that to give me a lesson of putting things away carefully. I was (and still am) not the tidy kind of person.
She was very angry because I disrepected her and she said she hadn't done so. But I didn't believe her. I was not convinced and I still thought she would never reveal the truth if she really did it.
Later, we came to an agreement that we have to trust each other no matter what. And we agreed that she didn't do it. Nevertheless, 3 years have passed and she never forgets that story. Once in a blue moon, when we have an argument, she would remind me of the accident to show me how bad a person I was.
The think is, I don't want to say sorry (it's hard, right?). But I no longer blame her of the lost ticket and I don't keep the story in my mind (forgot it). I only want to keep going like it has never happened.
So am I an A-hole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mKZ6qFbTNoPBxa9cSHr5dctMKk0ZJXrT
|
are32z
|
{
"description": "temporarily blocking my \"best friend\"",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for temporarily blocking my "best friend"
|
I could go on and on but I'll try to be quick. I had this friend online for probably a year, things seemed fine until he started to tell me multiple stories of drama and love triangles he was somehow involved in. These stories always seemed to have a similar type of girl, the damaged, depressed, lonely... You get the point. Considering I could fit that category I started getting a bit suspicious since I notice he puts a LOT of time in our friendship, so much so that it was making me very uncomfortable. (Getting notifications for all my tweets, seeing who liked them, what time it was, making comments about stuff I said ages ago, looking into anyone who followed me, etc) I made comments from time to time telling him I didn't like to be snooped on but that just gave me a half assed apology then he'd continue as usual. I've felt forced into being someone's "best friend" before but something about him didn't add up. He has a history of getting close to damaged girls then giving them a long explanation about how they're too damaged for him and it's causing him stress. (In one story a girl's relationship with her boyfriend was causing him stress because he can't stand to watch her be with a dick, so he basically asked to no longer be friends) Not to mention the girls involved all kinda knew each other, at least slightly, and you better believe he tried to paint each one as an evil witch. Knowing all this, I tried to detach from him a little, talk less, not tell him as much about my personal life, yada yada. To be honest I was just waiting for the day he'd do it with me, even though I can honestly say I was always the kind of friend to him that I'd want in a friend for myself... except for the end obviously. One day I was stressed and just got fed up with another snoop attempt, so I blocked him without a word. I just needed space, I can't stand having attentive eyes on me CONSTANTLY. Then a few days later unblocked and explained I'm not necessarily happy with him still but blocking was immature of me. He then sent a long message giving a half assed apology, then explaining that he can't handle someone being "AGGRESSIVE" with him, and as such we had to stop being friends. Is this gaslighting? AITA for blocking him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WyR3NhFH8IyCaCzTf4i6PG3NU7d4sbsv
|
b9us3j
|
{
"description": "spending a bill I had reason to suspect was counterfeit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for spending a bill I had reason to suspect was counterfeit?
|
I've been travelling in Spain, and short story, I got scammed but was handed 30 euros as "change". If you want the full story because your curious or think its critical for context you can check my post history, where I posted about the experience.
After I posted said story, a redditor pointed out "that 20 euro note he handed you is almost certainly counterfeit".
I immediately panicked. I looked up how to check if a euro is fake. From what I found, my bill seemed pretty real but some of the descriptions of what I was supposed to look for weren't clear to me.
So I figured, if it's a fake, it's a high quality fake. I then to decide to spend it somewhere where I think it's most likely to go unnoticed if it's fake. I find a local grocery/convenience type store to break it. I go and spend it without incident.
I felt sort of guilty because I might've just screwed a small store out of 20 euro. I'm not sure if the store will have to eat that cost or the government. I obviously feel guilty about the former possibility.
I rationalize(d) it by saying, well it should still be my euro to spend even if it's fake. In a way, the scammer stole from that store, not me.
However, it always seems to me if you have to rationalize it, your in the wrong.
I'd like to clarify that I DON'T know whether the bill was fake or not.
So what does reddit think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tgPC64kzsLJaP5qCR953NSrWbtTXgWqN
|
an5ibx
|
{
"description": "cutting ties with my married female boss",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting ties with my married female boss.
|
So it happened like this that in the last project I worked, I had an excellent rapport with my female boss, who was married, it even got to the point where we were little touch feely but nothing major happened, but I guess we were having an emotional affair. We confessed to each other mutually this attraction or whatever when I got a better opportunity and had to move out of the account.
But then we were still texting back and forth, the texts of course we're definitely over the normal banter, of how much we missed each other and all.
I guess I was enjoying the attention and then when I came to my senses and understood what the actual fuckery I was doing. I told her my reasons and told it to keep civil or else well have to stop contacting each other in any way. She said yes and yet somehow she would drag a normal convo that way, I got fed up and cut off contact with her.
Lot of time has passed by now and I keep thinking to myself if I was an asshole for doing so? Or maybe it was justified,as this definitely was not healthy and somebody would be badly hurt at the end of it.
I haven't told this to anyone, of course. Just that I want to know what you guys think of this.
Of course I am not putting the fault on entirely her, I am just as guilty.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
fe9qwHAFBKFtjwHaqXQpEdvNPl5sLuYX
|
amlchj
|
{
"description": "requesting my partner reject a tinder date",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For requesting my partner (25M) reject a tinder date
|
I’m on mobile so I apologize in advance for formatting. Also a fake account since he uses Reddit as well.
My (23F) significant other (25M) is a talented portrait photographer, he’s always kept his tinder account simply as a way to get business from girls who want pictures for their instagrams.
I know some people may think that’s shady to begin with but I’ve been through the account and he consistently shows me if he thinks anything may be misconstrued as inappropriate.
I do trust him, I’ve told him that. I’ve never had an issue with him hanging out with female friends, his ex’s or even random girls that he shoots half nude, never said a thing and genuinely don’t mind.
However recently he matched with this girl who is also creative and asked him to plan a shoot, nothing strange there. Except now she’s asked him to get coffee and drinks twice in a two week period to “plan something creative”, he’s taken a rein check both times because he was actually busy, but still plans on going.
My issue with this is that they matched over tinder, (no where in his bio does it say it’s for business only and he still hasn’t told her that he’s with anyone) she’s asked him out twice for things that can be considered first dates and he usually plans shoots over text or email, not in person. They’ve also begun texting casually about things other than the photo shoot and he now follows her personal Instagram.
He’s told me that he wants more creative friends, the meet up would simply be to start a friendship, and if she were to make a move he would stop her and clear it up immediately, yet he refuses to confirm that’s it’s just as friends before he meets up with her.
I’ve pushed the topic now, that not only for my sake but also to avoid leading her on he should clear it up before going, but he simply claims that I don’t trust him and if the situation were reversed he’d be fine with me going.
I’ve tried to explain that’s it’s less about trust and more about respect, that I trust that he wouldn’t do anything but I’m disappointed that he’s intentionally letting himself be put in a situation where I need to trust him.
He says confrontation gives him anxiety, but then in the next breath claims she see’s him as just a friend as well so in that case it wouldn’t be confrontation, simply confirmation. Then in the next breathe said he didn’t want to make her feel awkward and ruin any chances of friendship by turning her down. Why would he even want to risk a chance of her making a move instead of sending a text to clarify beforehand?
So basically AITA here for not being okay with him going on what this girl most likely thinks is a date, and instead expecting him to make it clear it’s just professional or friendly before he goes? Thanks
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pwadUidiFYHx7o8KCaSvovY8cEyOcETS
|
axpi9e
|
{
"description": "not apologising to my ex for making her 'feel bad' for kissing me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not apologising to my ex for making her 'feel bad' for kissing me?
|
So disclaimer, on mobile so if it's formatted weird or whatever, I'm sorry.
Context:
I'm currently attending a highschool my mates and I are pretty gay. We have a few less boundaries than normal friends would. my best friend, which I'll call Beth, kiss, hug, etc It's nothing romantic, we're just close.
Its kinda the same for a few of my other close friends which is the start of this problem (?). So one of these friends, I'll call Cheryl, was my ex-girlfriend a while ago (like a year or 2) and recently felt a little left out and so we started greeting each other the same though I didn't feel as comfortable doing that with her as I would with Beth.
So i just hugging her instead of kissing when we were leaving, etc So she started staring at me or hugging me close but so we could see each other until I kissed her. This happened loads of times and they kept making jokes about having a crush on me or me on her. I tolerated this and laughed along even if it was weird
It was Beth's birthday, she planned a party and invited me, Cheryl, etc.
Cheryl ended up drunk (kinda fake tho) & It was funny at first but she started getting to a point where she was annoying everyone at the party so I sat her down and made her drink water and eat.
She kept hugging me while I was talking to other people and taking me from conversations and kept backing me against a wall (party was outside) and doing that thing where she'd stare until I kissed her though she'd escalate it into making out and I felt too awkward and uncomfortable to not reciprocate since I didn't want her to feel bad or to kick off at me/ cause a scene at Beth's party.
I just avoided her after she got distracted but she kept returning and dragging me away, following me.
I got little more tipsy later on with Milly and another close friend and eventually got a little drunk.
Cheryl kept trying to kiss me and I will admit I did kiss her back but only because I felt awkward to just stand there and a little pressured which is stupid, I know, but its whatever.
It comes to the time I gotta go and I hug everyone goodbye and it comes to Cheryl, gives me the look and makes me kiss her and turns into her biting my neck. I feel too awkward to not do it back when prompted so I did.
When i just had enough, I just made an excuse to leave. She followed me and it took two other mates to drag them back and I could finally go. She had given me hickeys and I got into a lot of trouble, despite not really wanting it.
I began to avoid her and she started getting people to pressure me to talk to her, and texted that it was a mistake/the drink (despite doing the exact same thing to two other girls a week after the party)
She had purposely avoided me and moved in lessons and I'm still being blamed for her mood tho I'm still willing to put this behind us.
Sorry its long but its really messed me up the past few weeks and I need to know if I'm in the wrong or overreacting.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TigQFGI1JRuYPXsOuMDGcwlWjojJrxAj
|
b5r57y
|
{
"description": "wanting a ring",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting a ring?
|
It's a long story, so I'm going to try to keep it as short as possible with as many details as possible.
My SO (28m) and I (25f) have been together for almost 7 years. We have a child together, live together, and share all our bills/money. Financially, it wouldnt make sense for us to get married. Our health insurance, taxes, and student loans would sky-rocket. This sucks because we both want to be married, but we understand that it's just not a smart choice. So, my idea was how about we just get engaged? He tells me all the time he wants to marry me, so I thought it was a good idea. I was looking at moissanite rings on etsy that were decently priced and showed him. His reaction caught me completely off guard and I ended up with my feelings hurt. He says that rings are pointless, he doesnt want to be engaged forever, I want it for the wrong reasons, and I only want one because all my friends are getting married. This is not true. I want one because it would remind me of him everytime I looked at it. It would represent our love and commitment to each other. In the 7 years we've been together, he bought me one necklace (that I had to ask him to get) and I wear it everyday because I love it so much. He says we love each other and it doesnt matter if I have a ring. Of course I love him with or without one. But I got some extra cash from a settlement and just thought it would be a good idea. I ended up crying because it made me feel stupid for even bringing it up. He saw I was crying and has been giving me the silent treatment since last night. AITA? Part of me feels like I'm being a stupid girl and the other part of me feels like I'm not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
C7v0vB7rRTk9WSVkzsyPZcuZMzBOJRTB
|
awpww8
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to cancel plans with her sister who is sick while I'm recovering from surgery",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to cancel plans with her sister who is sick while I'm recovering from surgery?
|
I just had hernia repair surgery and am in my first day of recovery - I'm in a lot of pain. I'm scheduled to be out of work for two weeks. My girlfriend had plans to go see a show with her sister tomorrow night. To be fair, the show was scheduled before my surgery. But her sister has some undiagnosed illness, and if I get what sounds like the cold/flu it would make my recovery far worse - especially if I end up with a cough. I told her it's not worth the risk and to not worry about the money (under 100) spent. But she still wants to go. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
mIrIcYfJExdIi8webhpQh5YncldZCD7r
|
b9zf43
|
{
"description": "calling out my teacher",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for Calling out my Teacher
|
My teacher thinks interest is where you pay the bank for storing money in your account. I informed them they were wrong and was promptly sent out of the room. I did not leave the room, and went batshit on her and questioned her sobriety for misinforming children.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
iQmFFDwcnrTmUHl3q1lzhZcwLjTZnT3C
|
a0oljo
|
{
"description": "not stopping when I saw a woman being attacked",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not stopping when I saw a woman being attacked?
|
Going back 10 years I was driving (I am a truck driver) through a dark area when I saw a woman run out from the cover and start waving frantically. Then something or most likely someone pulled her back struggling into the bushes. Fearing it was a trap of some kind I kept driving onto the next stop and then phoned the police via an anonymous tip. I don’t know what happened after that. I feel guilty about not stopping but I think there was little I could do and it might have worsened the situation if the attacker had got into my truck.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Jeng4zmJafflbsKJbdX05x7FOm1bUywv
|
aixeo4
|
{
"description": "wanting to break up w/ my gf of about 4 months",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Wanting to Break Up W/ my GF of about 4 months?
|
So, I don't really want to disclose my exact grade, not entirely for privacy reasons, but also just because it's kind of embarrassing. All I'll say is that I'm around being a HS Freshman.
​
Anywhoozy doozy, I'll keep this story short. When we first got together we were pretty happy. We've been together for about 4 months now, and I don't feel as though there's a spark anymore. I've attempted to rekindle our relationship, but every attempt is met with me being ignored or a swift "hey".
​
She's said that she's been going through a lot of stress lately, and she hasn't opened up to me about it (I don't wanna push it, but I ask from time to time). However, from what I could tell (I'm not 100% sure about this) she wasn't in that same state when the problem actually began.
​
Now for the AITA part. I partially don't wanna break up and ask to just be friends because I don't want to maker whatever situation she's in worse, but also because our mutual friends say that I shouldn't and that I should keep trying.
​
Not to make them seem like antagonists, but they say that I better not. You know, typical girlfriends of the girlfriend stuff.
​
AITA for wanting to break up with my GF, and if you're able to answer this question, should I?
​
This was actually kind of embarrassing to post, so thank you all for your input!
​
P.S. Sorry for the wall of text
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nqr1p4GH10se37lkUvOjhmZjwlTAqaGR
|
b54zgt
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pick up my son every weekend if it means driving 200 miles round trip each time",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pick up my son every weekend if it means driving 200 miles round trip each time?
|
Backstory: I(M) have a son(10) with an ex-girlfriend. We have been broken up for about 8 years and have both moved on in our own lives. About 5 years ago, she met the man who she is currently married to while working in the County right underneath where we are from.
She married the guy, moved down there with him, which is about 50 miles south, and they had a kid. I also got married and had my own kid as well.
We’ve always been civil and would meet halfway to switch my son off every weekend. I would get him Friday after school and return him Sunday afternoon.
About a year ago my EX got a job at a hospital in her city that required her to work nights. Her husband took over switching my son with me on the weekends. This was working for us.
Just recently, maybe 3 months ago, she and her husband separated. He stopped putting as much effort into caring for my son. And while he still does watch him while she works, he has refused to drive halfway to switch off with me anymore.
This has me driving 100 miles round trip to get him for 2 days and then driving 100 miles round trip to take him back. 200 miles total.
Am I the asshole for wanting to tell my ex that we should maybe work it out to an every other weekend visit, (which is what the courts mandated. I only get him every weekend because I obviously want to and to help her not have to worry about him.) Or have her reimburse me for gas or something?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
uWxDK6zgMkPj6XpWcOK0da87ryhJFYXZ
|
abve1t
|
{
"description": "throwing my best friends out of a party",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for throwing my best friends out of a party?
|
Using my old account for this (also please excuse my poor english, since it’s not my native language).
(I should say that we are 25-30 years old).
My and the bf were invited to a small party at new years by his old high school friend (lets call her Tina) . It would be more of a formal thing, than full on house party.
It sounded perfect as i’m not a big drinker and don’t like going out that much.
My oldest friend (Let’s call her Jess) called me up and said that she had nothing to do on new years, and i felt bad for her. I said I would ask Tina if she could come, and she could.
On NY jess called me and said she had invited over our old friend (lets call her Laura) and lauras bf (Matt).
I had never met Matt, but I knew that Laura was a bit of a drinker.
Jess said I should ask Tina if they also could come.
I felt a bit stuck. Both Jess and Laura are very old and good friends of mine, but Laura is a horrible drunk and will drag other people down with her
I told jess that this would be a small and formal party and that they would have to control their alcohol. Jess told me that everything would be fine.
I asked Tina and she once again told me that it was okey.
To be clear, Tina has never met Jess and Laura, and I had never met this Matt guy. But I hoped for the best.
Fast forward to the party, everyone is having fun and talking. A bit of alcohol is served, but everyone is talking it slow and we have a great dinner.
I get a call from Jess who tells me she, Laura and Matt are on the way. I get a bit worried as I can tell on her voice that they have been drinking quite a bit. I asked her how she was feeling and she just blurs out that ”IT’S NEW YEAR GUUURL, EVERYONE SHOULD BE DRUNK, WE ARE BRINGING THE PARTY B*TCHES”.
I start to panic and tell my bf that they sound waaaay to drunk to fit in. He tells me not to worrie yet, and wait until they arrive.
What follows is me having to babysit 3 grown people as they come in, put up 3 full bottles of alcohol on the table, make themselfs more drinks and are loud and obnoxious. They spill on the floor, on the carpet, scream and almost brake all of Tinas wineglasses, and Laura and Matt start to argue.
They have not even been at the party for an hour befors Tina comes up to me and tells me that my friends has to leave.
At this point I am so embarrassed that I wanna die, and i tell them to leave.
It takes a solid 30 minutes before they go, and Matt startes to say how I’m a bad friend for throwing them out from a party on new years eve, and I should expect people to get a bit drunk.
They leave and i can do nothing but dit and stare as my bf comfortes me.
The next day (today) my friend told me that she was so mad at me for throwing her out, and she would never do that to me. I was the worst person for not taking care of her when she needed me.
I told her that it wasn’t my party and not up to me, but she said that I should be on her side, sinne we are friends.
I have been beating myself up for this all day, I don’t know if I did the right thing..
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
EZA9yjYdRP3YGkgLDSCm7uqI9mtn5N65
|
b0t1lh
|
{
"description": "putting my mom on a diet",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
aita if I put my mom on a diet
|
So my mom never developed good eating habits, and I think because of her, I’ve made a big effort in my life to learn to cook and eat healthy. I’m also a SAHM and very much enjoy meal prepping and planning, her meals were always roast beef, chicken, potatoes, corn and/or peas growing up, or stuff from a box/freezer. We barely touch that stuff if I don’t need to(the stuff from a box or freezer, we obviously eat beef and chicken) . She is overweight and because she lies so much, we can’t believe her on anything she tells us. She’ll tell me she’s been doing great on her diet, and then tell me she’s diabetic, and then tell me she’s been cured all in the same day depending on her motives at the time. She’s recently injured herself partially because of her bad health habits and has come to stay with me for a few weeks since she can’t do much on her own. All the cupboards have child locks on that she can’t figure out (as I have 3 kids). Our meals are mostly healthy here. I’m refusing to give her certain things, not ordering take out, not giving her pop, not buying her sugar crap that has no other nutritional value(example donut) , forcing her to eat multigrain bread instead of white, etc. Her calorie count is way down since she’s been sneaking McDonald’s and other fast food for years all well telling us all the time how great she’s doing on her diet, but now she can’t sneak food. I’ve never really pushed her diet, it was mostly my sibling as they live with her full time and I had no patience to deal with her lying about it. Am I an asshole to cut her calories so drastically? She’s probably gone from eating 2,500 a day(guesstimate from the stuff we find out that she’s hidden) to maybe 1200. (She’s 4’10). I feel bad it’s so extreme but I know if I give her an inch, she’ll take a mile. She’s eating what I’m eating, however I’ll take a pop or handful of candy sometimes when she’s not around. I’m also breastfeeding twins and 110lbs and need the calories. She has access to apples that she brought with her.
Further info - her dog also just passed away so she’s even more inclined to emotionally eat. But my older son is keeping her super busy instead of moping so I’d like to think that’s a moot point given she has something to focus on. But maybe relevant because I feel guilty I’m doing this at a very sensitive time for her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
SnEMOgazl5Z4jMqeUexpM6QTHrueODTN
|
aruqj6
|
{
"description": "not agreeing with my sister's crazy baby drama",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not agreeing with my sister’s crazy baby drama?
|
No she’s not crazy, per se, that she argues with her boyfriend over their son. Because it’s not that kind of baby drama, rather than she gets super jealous of other people boasting about their babies. So first off, my nephews first name initial is E, and my sister calls him her “little e”. She had some girl on Snapchat, who also has a baby with a first name initial of E, who also was calling her baby her “little E” as well. My sister went ballistic and started talking crap on Snapchat about her, and then blocked her. Last month, she made a shady ig post about people hyping up girls who don’t work or go to school, and just sit around all day. I texted her asking what was wrong and she hesitated at first, until she told me that a friend of a girl with a baby, said that she had the cutest baby in the world. And then my sister began to talk crap about the baby, saying he’s bald, and not like my nephew with a head full of hair. Today she texted me all mad saying if I seen so&so’s post since she’s expecting a baby. When I saw the post, it was her posting about her upcoming baby shower, which was a sailor theme. My sisters baby shower for my nephew was also a sailor theme, so I told her why is she making such a big deal and always getting mad at girls with other babies. She then said “never mind” and started ignoring my texts, which I know means she mad at me for not agreeing with her. So I’m wondering, AITA for not agreeing with her hysterics over literally nothing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
sEa3HwF7wDEMnsP55CDxBTj3u4cPxosp
|
aiv1ng
|
{
"description": "getting pissed at my family for smoking pot in the house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting pissed at my family for smoking pot in the house?
|
Disclaimer: I do not dislike pot. I’m a huge supporter of it, but I’m trying to get in to the navy. Also, my UN has nothing to do with this, just an old throw away.
Anyway, as I said, I’m trying to get in to the military. I’m going to MEPS tomorrow and I have to get a piss test. My dad and my brothers girlfriend smoked the house up despite me asking them not to. When I walked out of my room, I instantly wanted to cry. They’re willing to jeopardize my career for their little habit. So, my brothers girlfriend notices that I’m pissed and starts getting all offended and pissy with me, my dad overheard, and started telling me how it’s not that big of a deal, and that I’m being selfish because it’s too cold outside to smoke. I’m not a smoker, so I’m not sure if this is going to affect me in any way, but they know that it makes me uncomfortable and nervous. Especially since I’m leaving tomorrow morning.
If I fucking pop positive I will seriously disown my entire family.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
PNM7bsBDxtRWBxzS3Wths4nPj2LkIqr9
|
aem5w8
|
{
"description": "not wanting to press the \"are you okay\" question",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to press the "are you okay" question?
|
I got into a super interesting debate with a childhood friend today. I said that if I say "are you okay" to someone and they say "yes," I am not going to press it further even if the person is super depressed and mopey looking. My friend said that sometimes people want to be pressed so that they can talk about it, so he likes to ask again.
I absolutely **hate** it when someone asks me if I am okay, I say "yes," and they ask again. In my mind, "yes" either means that I am fine, or I don't want to talk about it. Either way, don't ask again. I really hate games, so I feel like I should not have societal pressure to ask again if someone says they are fine, even if they look miserable. If they wanted to talk about it, they wouldn't say "yes, I am fine."
Looking for some outside opinions! Thanks :)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yAu8DTpnLMQSj3LAmGYFTpfODisb9TVk
|
at6n0h
|
{
"description": "pointing out my friend's blackheads",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I point out my friend’s blackheads?
|
Ok I know this sounds bad but hear me out. One of my closest friends has a problem with blackheads all over his face. I’ve known him for over a year and they’ve been there pretty much that whole time. It’s nothing crazy, there’s only about 5 or 6, but they are pretty big and noticeable and very obviously blackheads that can easily be extracted. One of them is right above the corner of his lip and is probably 1/8” in diameter, so it does stick out pretty significantly when you look at him.
He also has a lot of confidence issues and probably some body dysmorphia. He’s a VERY attractive guy but hasn’t had a lot of positive experiences with girls. Personally, I think it’s because of his confidence, because if he was more confident I think girls would be all over him.
He often vents to me about his insecurities but has never brought up the blackheads. I honestly don’t think he even realizes what they are or how easy it would be to remove them. Even though he has never specifically brought them up as an insecurity, I’m sure if they were gone he would see his beautiful clear skin in the mirror and feel a little better about himself. I have some blackhead removal tools and would easily, safely, and painlessly be able to get rid of them in around 10 minutes. WIBTA if I offer to extract them for him or should I just leave it be?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
hXCGGcox2g4f7fQoFI2yM6gAeZpUZ17D
|
a4k9wh
|
{
"description": "wanting to see the girls",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to see the girls?
|
Growing up I had gotten along with most of my family pretty well, however there was one cousin that I got along with more than others. We'll call him Adam for anonymity. Adam and I didn't really hang out until into our twenties, but we were the cousins that were similar in age growing up so we hung out at family gatherings and things like that. He had always been on the heavier side, so I think he had a bit of a self esteem issue when he was younger. Into his twenties he began losing the weight, and with that came confidence, or more prominently, ego. He would be condescending when he talked to people. If he thought that he was even slightly more knowledgeable on a subject, he would amp up the sarcasm to 10 as if you didn't know anything that was going on. He was a manipulative narcissist. He then became a pretty big "hippie" type guy. Smokes a bunch of weed and psychedelics and drinks a bunch of beer everyday. (nothing too wrong with that, but he thinks he's going to be reincarnated as a fruitful tree when he dies and doesn't have the greatest moral compass)
Regardless of those things, I could still tolerate to be around him. I'd spend time with him helping around his place. He had some rabbits and quail so I would help him clean the cages and pens since I didn't live far away. So I was at his house quite a bit. He had this girlfriend, we'll call her Amy. Amy lived with Adam at the house and had a little girl 3 year old girl from a previous relationship, Josie. Whenever I would go over to Adams house, Josie would always want me to run around and play with her as most little kids do. I would happily do so. She was adorable.
Something that bothered me a lot was Adam would always talk down about Amy behind her back. He didn't necessarily call her name's or anything (a bitch once or twice) but he would talk about how she wasn't very smart, and how he didn't think he was going to stay with her. She "wasn't the girl for him" and he mentioned that even from the very beginning of them dating and talking that he didn't think they were going to last, and he really didn't mind. He said the girls only really lived there for convenience sake.. that and the fact that she was pregnant with his child.
I would visit Adam's house pretty frequently as he would ask me to help him with the animals. So I became close to Amy and Josie. When it came time for the new baby girl to be born, Beth, I was at the hospital shortly after delivery. I got to hold her just a couple of hours after she was born. She was awesome.
A couple weeks after his own little girl was born, my cousin again showed his disinterest in continuing a relationship with his girlfriend. Even though she just had his baby, he didn't think they should be together. Out of the blue one day a few weeks later I saw on Facebook that they had split up. One night after putting the girls to sleep, Amy had overheard Adam in the bathroom and he seemed to be talking to someone. So she opened the door to him taking a bath, video chatting with another woman.
He had been cheating for a while. He started a new job and said that he just kind of "fell in love" with this other girl, Taylor that he had met. Instead of leaving or ending the relationship. Adam pursued a relationship with another woman on the side, constantly cheating while simultaneously telling Amy that he loved her and had a "family" with her. When Amy found him cheating, she left to stay with family a town over. She was devestated, but she didn't stop him from being the dad still. So she still let her now 4 year old stay with him (she had grown to know him as dad since her biological father isn't really in the picture.) and their 3 month old baby girl.
Less than a week after being caught cheating, with the kids at his house, he had the Taylor girl in his bed. Josie actually walked in on this other woman in bed with him. Another woman in the same bed that "mommy and daddy" sleep in together. He called me and told me what happened and I immediately told him how much of idiot he was. He was giving up an awesome chick for some fling at work. I told him he really needed to drop the bullshit and do whatever he could to work things out with Amy. He told me that he had no interest in fixing things. I texted Amy and let her know that even though things had happened the way they did, that I was sorry for what happened and I wanted to reassure her that even though my cousin has fucked up, I still wanted to be a part of the girls' life and that if she needed anything I was there to talk. After all, I had became close with her as well.
She pretty much brushed me off because she was hurt. She didn't want to talk to anyone but Adam, and rightfully so. The father of her kid(s) had just cheated on her and actually ended up staying with the mistress. She didn't want to talk to anyone besides him because she was so hurt. After making sure she was okay, I left her alone.
A couple months after the incident, Amy contacted me and thanked me for being kind to her when she was going through a rough time. She told me she was really hurt by what had happened, but she was doing a little better and she let me know that she still wanted to be friends and I could still be a part of the girls' life. I was happy to hear that. I hadn't been able to see them in a while.
Over the course of the weeks following, Amy and I kind of hit it off. We began texting more often. About little stuff. Big stuff. Pretty much everything. We would talk about what life plans and we eventually ended up meeting up to hang out. We really hit it off. She made me feel amazing, and it was pretty apparent that she felt the same way. We began hanging out quite a bit.
It wasn't an ideal situation, talking to my cousin's ex girlfriend and "baby momma", and we both felt a bit off by it but we agreed that we wanted to pursue something together. So after talking for a while, I called him and expressed my feelings for her. I told him that it wasn't just a fling and that we both mutually wanted to be together. He egotistically replied "I doubt she wants to be with you, but if you guys make each other happy then she's an adult and it's not my place to stop you guys." He wanted to make sure the girls were taken care of, and I promised that no matter what if I was with Amy I would take care of those girls and protect them and show them how their mom should be treated.
Amy and I began dating. She was introduced to the family as my girlfriend. She took me to work events as her boyfriend. We spent nearly every day together for 9 months. Her and the girls would stay the night at my place for sometimes almost a week at a time before returning home. Josie loved me and would talk about how excited she would be to come over. I got to watch Beth learn the first year and a half of her life and everything that entails.
When Beth got hives, I gave her an oatmeal bath. We went together to urgent care with her Josie. I watched them alone a few times. If I stopped to get my girlfriend flowers I would make sure to stop and get Josie some too to make sure she felt adored as well as her mom. I would play with her when we went to the playground. Running around with them just to make sure she knew she was cared for. The girls knew my family as their family.. I worked hard every day to be able to save to get a place of our own for Amy and I and the girls. I didn't get to spend every day with them, because they still went to their dads, but I got to spend months and months with them. I wasn't like my cousin. I knew after a pretty short period of time who I wanted. I wanted those three incredible girls. I adored Amy. Any past ex girlfriend or experience felt immeasurable compared to her. I finally found this incredible reason to get up and go to work in the morning.
On my hard days waking up in the morning, all it took was for me to look over at my beautiful girlfriend or hear Beth cry or Josie wake up and want to crawl in bed with us and it gave me the motivation to get out of bed and go to work. On my long days where I wanted nothing more than to just come home after work and crash and go to bed. The thought of spending time with them gave me enough energy to keep going. I fell in love with Amy. She was hesitant at first. Expected considering her two baby dad's had cheated on her. But she expressed how happy she was with me. She talked about how she loved that she could call me any time of day and it didn't matter what we talked about, I would answer and be happy to talk to her. She talked about how she loved that I would include the kids in dates and never make her feel like they were a burden to have around. She was still hurt from the past, but she was letting her walls down. She began sneaking in I love you here and there.
We had something great. We we're both working. We we're both talking about the future. We we're having fun and building something with each other. We had a great sex life. We wanted to see each other succeed. We bettered each other. She said in the beginning that she was done having children and honestly, even though all my life ive just wanted to be a husband and a father. I was more than happy doing life with her if I knew her and those two girls were all I was ever going to get.. one day she looked at me and said "you know what? I know I said I don't want anymore kids... But I think that I can see myself having a baby with you.. she told me she loved me..
Then something happened. She got a little more distant.. she wasnt talking as much and she had started saying things that I knew we're things my cousin had said to her.
After nearly a year together, my cousin's relationship with Taylor had failed... Who knows, maybe he cheated on her too.. he then started trying to pursue Amy again.. it confused her. He didn't give a
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Y4eK8uAWpIuyoxfCalPzhrMzEFR8Q2SF
|
b5t9kq
|
{
"description": "telling a coworker who has rsv that she should stay home or at least stay away from me",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA- I told a coworker who has RSV that she should stay home or at least stay away from me.
|
On mobile and typing quickly so I apologize for any spelling/grammatical/formatting issues.
Context- I have a 5 month old son. My coworker “Jane” has a son who is a few months older than mine.
We had a catered lunch today and when Jane came up to get food she was eating right next to me. Jane looked like crap, red eyes and nose, sniffling and coughing.
I asked if she was okay and Jane said that she caught RSV from her son and she had not gotten any sleep because she spent the night watching him sleep to make sure he was breathing. Jane said that she was “highly contagious” and that she had not been to a doctor yet.
I commented about if Jane should really be at work if she’s so sick. Jane said “what’s going to happen here if I don’t come to work? They need me here!” She is in a leadership position and we do not have a replacement really so I let it slide.
I got up and walked across the room and Jane followed me, at which point I asked if she could please not be so close to me because if my son gets RSV it could kill him. She acted offended and ended up leaving the break room and another coworker told me that I was out of line and an asshole and that I’d be “fine” since Jane did not directly touch me.
This was a serve yourself catered event so Jane touched all of the utensils to serve her food that other people touched after her. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
8sWSuD3ftTxwwOa7JMUgGYC8OzxxW3l9
|
anku84
|
{
"description": "getting with my roommate's crush",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I get with my roommate's crush?
|
20/M here. Roommate is 19/M. His crush is a 18/F freshman. We all go to the same university. Me and the girl have been kind of an acquaintances before she got into university.
My roommate openly expressed his attraction for the girl to me. They recently got to know each other a few days ago. Me and the girl are taking the same course this semester, so I'll be seeing her every week. She has given me signs of interests quite a lot and I tried to brush it off as a respect to my roommate but I though fuck it and flirted with her. She seems to be receptive to it as well.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
vcIAgQFT06kbedLadr70Xhye077E567n
|
a9f4q2
|
{
"description": "not visiting my sick uncle",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not visiting my sick uncle?
|
My uncle has lived with my grandmother for his whole life, not really helping in the household, and mostly just watching TV and drinking beer.
Every time me and my brother would visit grandma's house we would barely get a mumbled, grumpy hello from him, then be ignored. He honestly makes me uncomfortable.
A few weeks ago he fell and broke his hip, and he has been in the hospital, then a care facility ever since, because he has a muscle disease as well, and his mind is deteriorating. So far I have dodged visiting him, and today I found out from my dad (who regularly visits) that it makes him angry.
Does me not visiting make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
Kttiu58QyhE88c1KN7KKoTTAj9dq7aEE
|
azmdy1
|
{
"description": "telling a limp (person) to get up from our assigned seats which are technically assigned for the disabled",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling a limp (person) to get up from our assigned seats which are technically assigned for the disabled?
|
AITA? So i was watching a movie at the theater with my girlfriend the other night. The theater policy goes that ones allowed to buy seats assigned to those with disabilities whens the movie starts previewing trailors. So thats exactly what we did we waited for 10 mins until 8:45pm got 2 tickets which were in the disabled section and headed in. When I got in I found to middle aged folks (male and female) sitting there. So i naturally told them hi these are our assigned seats. The man said that his wife or sister (not sure), was disabled and thats why they sat here. Honestly i sympathized in the beginning and asked them ok thats fine but were are your assigned seats. They pointed literally to the two seats all the way to the corner of the front row by the screen. Seats had I seen when booking would never pay for. My girlfriend starts walking to those seats but i tell her theres no way i can watch the movie from that angle. I know being limp legally isnt a disability since i work in rehab but I didnt mind initially until i saw their seats. I felt like they pulled a disability card and suggestively said indicated that they needed it more knowing fully well that they would ask us to sit in terrible seats. I went back to them and told them "Im so sorry but i honestly cant sit there, and I really apologize but can we please switch". My girlfriend stood away from me as I was talking to them because she didnt agree with what I was doing. Shes like just let them sit there for the greater good but I paid money with intent of watching a movie from a reasonable area. I felt like an asshole when we sat down because i wasnt disabled at all and his wife did have a serious limp as they walked of the the front row. What you guys think, was I wrong to tell them to get up?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
|
s7utR2LQn57ReTYj7r7dmJnLhMCnXE8H
|
ahra6j
|
{
"description": "sacrificing a 4-year relationship to music",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sacrificing a 4-year relationship to music?
|
Ok, so I (25M) have recently made a decision to give up on a 4-year relationship with 24F in order to start making music and to transform it into my main activity. It was my first long relationship, and it was not smooth sometimes, but I loved her and still do. Or maybe I think I do.
So our first year was alright, except she became jealous of all my female friends and she asked me to stop communicating with them because she didn't like the way I'm talking to them (she felt like I was flirting, but I was not). I tried to explain to her that there was nothing to worry about since I'm with her, but she didn't want to hear anything. Since I was "in love" and all, I swallowed it and had to inform my female friends that I will have to limit our communication. I still had short conversations with them, but it was done secretly and was limited to social networks only.
(I guess this is where it should've ended).
The second and third years still felt fine, the above limit was live and nothing special was happening. I continued to secretly message my old friends, but not often. It was mainly them asking me how it was going and me replying. With my ex we had many trips here and there, started living together. All seemed to be fine, no major arguments. An important thing, all this time I was working full-time, and occasionally did some gigs with my band. I really loved concerts and I was complaining to my ex that I wanted music to become my career. She started to ask me if I was going to continue doing it and how serious I was. Here is another important thing: Idk if it's the case for all, but for me, our concerts were bringing more and more female fans which irritated my ex. So she was completely pissed because of this fact since she was jealous af. Hence, her questions and some scary things she did which were led by her emotions. I told her that small gigs are enough for me and I was not going to become a McCartney.
Last year was quite difficult since I noticed I started spending more time on music than on anything else plus I got some mental problems with questions like "What to do next? What is the purpose of all this? Do I want to do what I want to or what I have to?" I've left my job because we moved to another place and I had troubles finding a new one. Gigs were gone as well. So I was more into myself which made me start heavily doing music at home. It felt like our relationship was something that always existed. She wanted me to be more romantic and attentive, and I was busy trying to deal with my existential crisis. At this moment, she proposed to start living separately thinking it would change something, and I had to move out. Since then, I completely fell out of reality - non-stop writing, recording, thinking. Even wanted to invest all my savings into a studio and instruments, but decided to stop myself. As for the relationship, I was bringing her flowers every week (and it was not a forced move - I really wanted to make her happy with that), but we saw each other during weekends only spending time walking or driving around. And at some point, she comes to me and asks if we are done. I'm like "Why? We're fine, no?" And she says "No, we are not". Adds, "if we want to become a family one day and have kids and stuff, I need a stable man that can earn money and make sure the family runs well". And me with my uncertain music stuff and depression, I am not the one she can think of. So she gave me some time to think it over, and me, after weighing pros and cons, I told her that maybe I should solve all my issues before committing to something serious as this, otherwise, I'll make everyone around me unhappy. She bursts into tears and leaves.
I am still uncomfortable with the decision I made because I had really hard times deciding. On one hand, you just work, make children, die (all of this beautifully wrapped), and I can't say I hated working. I loved what I was doing and I was pretty successful. On the other hand, you're just trying to pursue something you were always dreaming of, and you have no idea whether the result will turn out good or bad. But maybe this tells something about my maturity?
To give you some more background, I've been doing music occasionally as a hobby since long time but in the past 2 years I've become quite prolific in writing, so I decided to start investing money and time in this activity with no guarantee it could bring me any financial return, and my ex didn't like that. She was hoping I'd become more mature and would work on our relationship and myself to finally become a family with kids and stuff. Of course, she wanted me to think about how I was gonna earn for a living and come up with something stable, and of course, she considers music as something childish and infantile. The same does my family. But it is something I really want to finally spend time on. And something that makes me happy (most of the times).
Oh pls, kill me, why being an adult is so complicated?
TL;DR: had a 4-year relationship, found I wanted to change my main activity to music because it made me happy, my gf didn't like that for her reasons, chose music over the relationship after all, although it was a black box with no clear outcome or stability in the future, hurt myself and my ex in the short term
​
Sorry for grammar - not a native speaker :(
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
jBEd7LVZiboPSYZnYod0zWmWEH0t6AWe
|
b9sgn6
|
{
"description": "cancelling a trip to see my dad for the first time in 10 years because he wanted to get married",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cancelling a trip to see my dad for the first time in 10 years because he wanted to get married?
|
Hello. I've really been struggling with this... So my dad has been in prison since a week after my 10th birthday. His brother has been helping him out and for awhile was pressuring my family to get us to have a relationship. My uncle finally stopped when I told the family that I would cut anyone out who tried to pressure me into doing that considering his convictions that I'm not allowed to post here.
So last Summer I sort of caved and agreed to talk to him on the phone a few times. It was going well and we agreed that I'd fly down (he's stuck in my home state for 15 years) and meet him for the first time in ~10 years.
He got a girlfriend, and she's... Pushy. He put her on the phone without ever asking me and she added me on Facebook as a way to allow my dad to talk to me via internet since he's technically not allowed but for work purposes (used to be a programmer or something). Would comment on my posts and it was just weird.
I brushed it off because I figured it was nice he could find happiness and a partner.
Well, he buys the plane tickets I think. I'm not really sure on that but it makes me feel bad the cash could've been wasted because I decided not to go.
He calls me one day and announces that they're now engaged after 3 months of dating, and they want to get married when I fly down and visit him, because they want me to be there... I hadn't seen him in 10 fucking years and he wants to make this trip about him and his new girlfriend-soon-to-be-wife?! Needless to say, I called back after giving it some thought. I could have discussed it with him, but I didnt- I outright cancelled, because he was so inconsiderate to what this meant in the first place as to ever ask that. No conversation, nothing, and told him to never speak to me again and that I don't need his goddamn money (he had sent $200 since we started talking) since I've survived all these years without his support and will continue to do so. After a few texts and blocking his GF on Facebook, he hasn't bothered me. He's never even made an admission of guilt for all he's put me through, instead turning the focus back on himself and how he suffered in prison.
So I won't be there for his wedding or whatever. I feel bad because he's gotten the last photo we took together tattooed on his back and everything. I clearly mean a lot to him in some weird way.
I'm all about communication. But that felt like a bad line to cross so I didn't give it a chance. AITA?
Tl;Dr Agreed to see father for first time in 10 years. Cancelled the trip without giving him a chance to discuss it when he announced he wanted to get married to this new woman on this trip. Told him to never speak to me again.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
eOqMMaSv9kA5xljHjpB8vn7ZPCSUz1Ns
|
abuyf5
| null |
AITA Fro being a guy and going into the girls bathroom to get papertowels?
|
This happened this morning after class. So after class I went to the bathroom to take a piss and there were some guys in there I knew so I made sure to wash my hands this time. Yeah I know I it's clean to always wash your hands after pissing but I know my dick is clean and if anything I should wash my dick after pissing because my hands are totally dirtier and I have to touch that, right? Anyway, so there were guys in there and I have gotten comments in the past like "EW YOU DIDN'T WASH YOUR HANDS! YOU WERE JUST TOUCHING YOUR DICK" and I really just don't wanna hear it so since there were others there I just used some soap and washed my hands. After I do that I got to get some paper towels and leave, but to my surprise there was none left in the dispenser. After realizing that I couldn't use anything to dry my soaked hands with I said "aaaah fuck" and tried to figure out a solution. At this point you're probably saying "dude, just wipe your pants" or "dude, just find another guys bathroom" and you would have a point but my U.S History teacher let us out early and you can't walk the halls even if you are dismissed by the teacher. The Bell has to ring to walk the halls. The bathroom was right outside the class so it wasn't too far away that I had to wait for the bell, but all the others were. So with quick thinking I thought "well I will just quick go into the girl's room, take some paper towels and leave", I thought it was a solid plan. So I open the girl's room door and right at the sink is one of the girls in my class that I'm friendly with. I have to admit that at that point I did become a little embarrassed and instead of just walking in I said "hey do you guys got any paper towels in here?" She looked shocked and her face said "why do you think this is okay" and she said "okay? Fine!" And took a whole bunch and gave them to me. I had successfully gotten my paper towels and felt like maybe I was wrong to do this and when I turned around I saw a group of people giving me concerned looks. I didn't know what to do, if I should just ignore them or explain myself so out of quick thinking I just said "there were no fuckin' paper towels in the men's room" and they all looked less concerned but still freaked out. At that point the bell rang and I was off to class. So honestly, was what I did crossing a line? I didn't go in there to peep nor did I have any plan of staying there, yet everyone who saw was utterly shocked.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
RvwEI9EECIHwf5w41zDuN4Sqd76xjqHC
|
af3vaz
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my long distance girlfriend for sleeping over at a friends house on my second to last day at home",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my long distance girlfriend for sleeping over at a friends house on my second to last day at home?
|
I (20M) go to college 9 hours away from my home state where my girlfriend (19F) lives. We started dating over the summer and have kept our relationship running smoothly through the fall semester. Winter break has been the first time we’ve been together for more than a week since college started in August. I leave to go back to school on Sunday meaning that today (Friday) is the second to last day we’ll have together before we have a week for spring break.
Her best friend (19F) invited her over for a girls night tonight and my girlfriend agreed to go without talking to me. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue but I can’t help but feel offended because it’s my second to last day home and she’s spending time with her friend who goes to school 30 minutes away and neither of their winter breaks end for another 2 weeks. I told her that I really wanted to spend the night with her because we only have a very limited amount of time left and she could see her friend after I left but she said this was something she really wanted to do. She reminded me that she rarely sees this friend despite how close they were in highschool, however, that doesn’t seem like a good reason to me because if they really wanted to see each other more often then they could do that with minimal effort. A more valid reason she gave me was that we’ve been spending almost every night together lately, which is true, but it still upset me because after tonight we only have one more. She clearly felt bad that she upset me but it didn’t change her mind about going to spend time with her friends. I don’t want to seem clingy or controlling but I really feel upset she didn’t make me a priority when we have so little time left together. I’m even more mad because I feel like I have to suppress my feelings so I don’t ruin our last day together. AITA offended that she didn’t make me a priority when after tommorow she won’t be seeing me for months?
TLDR: I’m upset with me long distance girlfriend who spent the night with her friends, who live in the area, instead of me on our second to last day together until Spring Break.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
ksLgJrh1xYoyVLxSx5JMO0OWvupr4pXW
|
am43u7
| null |
AITA for not wanted to talk to my mother about my mental health?
|
For context I am a 15 (almost 16) year old girl and a sophomore in high school, in this last year I have been suicidal and I’ve been feeling really depressed and my anxiety has gotten way worse over time. I asked my mom a few months ago if I could see a therapist or psychiatrist or whatever because I really wanted help with my suicidal thoughts, at first she just wanted to talk to me about it and not take me to one, but didn’t want to talk to her about it. I told her a few months before that that I did have suicidal thoughts in the past and she became a mess. She was checking on me in my room every few minutes to make sure I was ok and was just very caring. But anyway fast forward to now and my mom still hasn’t gotten me to a professional to talk about my mental state. I asked my mom again last night if she would take me to see one and she starts pressing me with questions again. I know she is trying to be a good mom but I don’t want her to worry about me like she did a few months ago. I don’t know if she ever will take me to see a professional but I just want to know if I am a asshole for not wanted to talk to her about it?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
B5OkTUp5SOI0OgtQlIX2Fwda2jp8jRwn
|
9v4rhm
|
{
"description": "not taking my friends home after going to the mall",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not taking my friends home after going to the mall?
|
I have four friends: I drive my own car, two friends drive their own car, one could but doesn't drive, and the other doesn't drive at all. The two that don't drive usually bum a ride off of this one guy who drives (he will be R) and the other that drives (H) sometimes takes them home but not often. I never take them home because of strict parents who don't like me off on my own. Anyways we decide to go to the mall; when we walk out the parking lot R says, "Welp I have 1/8 tank left so I can't take you guys home." The two look at me and H. I say I'm not and H doesn't really want to either. They keep pestering me for some reason until I finally say I'm not taking either of them home. H ends up having to take both of them home even though he didn't plan on it. Am I the asshole for not giving in to their leechy ways? Gas isn't cheap and parents aren't very forgiving. Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
zXxYcpIyYGVWejSzsEbwKRgBc1Q5jm10
|
azt8u7
| null |
AITA Girlfriends family doesn’t want us to share a tent at the family camp out
|
First time ever posting on reddit but I really need some outside perspective on this!
Ok so here is the background, my girlfriend’s family has a family camp out every year. Last year while at the camp out my girlfriend and I weren’t allowed to share a tent as, apparently her parents/aunts etc thought it would be inapparopriate and set a bad example for the kids.
Personally I found this stupid as we are both 26 and had been dating for a year at the time, but I go along with it as my girlfriend assured me the next campout we will share a tent. So not sharing a tent is low key pissing me off the whole time (my girlfriend has all the awesome camping gear and Iv got a ground pimple to sleep in lol) because trust me the last thing I want to do is have sex in a camp filled with 20+ of her relatives that I don’t know.
I’m holding my annoyance in and am trying to have a good time but on the second day of the campout, more people arrive. 3 couples to be exact that are friends of her cousins. All of these people are younger than my girlfriend and I and have been together less time than us and immediately proceed to share tents and no one says a word.
At this point I’m furious, we are the only couple in the entire place who are not sharing tents and we have been together longer than most of the people our age who are sharing tents. I swallow my rage and get through the campout. Afterwards I explain that the whole tent fiasco basically ruined it for me and that if we don’t share a tent next year I don’t want to come because I feel personally insulted that I was the only one to be made to sleep separately from my significant other. My girlfriend whole heartedly agrees with me and says next year we will definitely share a tent.
Fast forward a year, I have to harass my girlfriend relentlessly to get her to bring up the topic of us sharing a tent to her parents ( I offered to talk to them myself but she refused). They say they need to talk to the other adults. They come back a week later and tell her we have to be separate again.
At this point I tell my girlfriend I’m not going and offer to talk to her parents about the issue. She absolutely does not want me to talk to them and insists that I go and that everything will be ok.
I’m still refusing, and she is beyond pissed. Am I the asshole?
TLDR: Girlfriends family insists that her and I do not share a tent, but not anyone else. I’m pissed and don’t want to go. Girlfriend is very upset that I don’t want to go
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
bFzBrdH5zG2Y8hpzsC11JF2aBXz0GCFz
|
a99bgc
|
{
"description": "refusing to help my brother collect chopped wood",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for refusing to help my brother collect chopped wood?
|
Every Christmas, my family goes up to my great uncle’s cabin in the mountains. On Christmas morning, my brother and I are given the task to replace all of the wood that was used in the fireplace. Usually, we need to stack wood 5 feet wide and 6 feet tall. Last year, however, my brother got mad, (we don’t exactly know why, but it was something about me not doing it his way) and he went inside, only having brought up about 3-4 groups of 3. Mind you, we are on a mountain, so climbing many steps ~50 times (When we work together) with about 3 pieces of wood, sucks. I did it all by myself, meaning I climbed about 25 steps ~100 times. I worked a long time (maybe 8:00-1:00, if I recall correctly) until my brother came out near the end. He brought up one group of wood, even though I had just finished. I’ve been arguing with him, and he hasn’t denied this number. This year, I have an injured thumb on my dominant hand, which makes it hard to pick up objects AND he has not tended to the fire once. I told him I wouldn’t help him bring in wood. I see this as fair, and he thinks I’m an asshole. AITA?
TL;DR: brother refused to help carry wood; I’m making him do it by himself this year, because it’s karma and I have an injured thumb
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
|
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WRONG
|
6rNqZ2WmsznebV95znGnwwIXuaN8N7a2
|
aq2ydd
|
{
"description": "being frustrated with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being frustrated with my boyfriend?
|
Background: last relationship ended after 5 months (second chance with high school boyfriend, 7 years later) because he literally stopped texting me. Ghosted. He’d sustained a trauma, refused any form of help, and shut me out. This occurred in late November but draaaagggggggeeeeddddddd through December because I kept trying to reach out.
My boyfriend suffers from anxiety, depression, and ADD. I also just found out he’s on a mood stabilizer in addition to his ADD meds.
He’s been off his mood stabilizer for two... three... days.
My usually boisterous and demonstrative boyfriend is now withdrawn and terse. He declines my calls, and we talk on the phone daily, if not multiple times a day.
This relationship is relatively new. I’m still figuring out who he is. At the same time, I don’t like this at all. It makes me wonder if I love the pill’s side effects.
I refuse to beg for someone’s love again.
AITA for thinking about giving up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
TlIYbHYe3ldnIch3q7VlC99PA9cxb7Cd
|
ava9ns
|
{
"description": "letting my 5 y/o son have a little bit of my beer",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for letting my 5 y/o son have a little bit of my beer?
|
So I often drink a couple of beers after work to wind down (not every day, but it’s a normal thing for me). Tonight I was watching tv and my son asked if he could try some. I held the bottle and let him have a small sip. I thought he might spit it out but he just kind of made a small face and that was it.
My wife was right there when it happened and she gets this horrified look on her face. I say “he just had a small sip”. She said nothing and ends up putting our son down to bed and proceeds to let me have it in a the weird hushed/scream voice she uses when she’s upset but wants to be quiet.
She said she thought for sure I would tell him no when he asked and she can’t believe I gave him alcohol. I explained why I didn’t think it was a big deal but she’s still pretty angry. I guess I’ve always been more easygoing when it comes to parenting...
Anyway I’m just wondering if what I did sounds so terrible to the average person. I mean, it’s not like I let him chug the whole bottle! I figured he was just curious about the taste, and now he knows. Literally one sip and that was it. (Although if you ask my wife she’ll say he had a “gulp” of it).
So was I the asshole in this situation? (Using a throwaway because I post in other parenting subs on my main, and I don’t want any judginess spilling over).
|
HISTORICAL
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|
{
"description": "standing up for my hobbies",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for standing up for my hobbies?
|
My Girlfriend and I have been together for two years and it's been great overall. We're both gamers but have different game preferences. She prefers single player games and I'm more into MMOs. I raid Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday and she's been okay with it. Her mom came into town on Saturday and we saw her on Sunday. Her mom is leaving on Wednesday and she wants to see us again on Tuesday. But I raid that night so I told my gf that I couldn't go. She got upset that I seemed to be prioritizing raid but she doesn't seem to understand that a raid is important. Besides, we already saw her a few days ago! I told her that raid was more important than seeing her mom a second time. She got offended and said that I cared more about raid than her family. I feel like she was putting words in my mouth. Her mom lives across the country and we only see her twice a year but I already saw her. My girlfriend started crying and she was surprised that I didn't really care. I felt like I needed to stand up for my hobbies and my time. I just feel like she shouldn't expect me to give up previous commitments.
​
AITA for standing up for my hobby?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
DUi8xyeSY7A3XNZ4FzZ38o8S3kpKBbqQ
|
a3zbhu
|
{
"description": "not giving anymore money to mother",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving anymore money to mother?
|
So some background here I've been working a 9 to 5 job for almost 5 years since I was 16 and I've been paid reasonably well. I pay rent towards my parents which equals out to around £550 per month.
It's fair to say my mother is somewhat bad with money and sometimes needs the odd £50 to get something paid off or fixed. However last year around September she had me take out a £1,500 loan because she had multiple bills which were coming out the same month we got a new car. I did it and she took the payments out of my rent which seemed fair. Maybe 3-4 months later, she needed a £3,500 loan because she had been missing rent / other bills, I told her no because I already have one and I don't wanna be worrying about two loans when I am only 18 which aren't even mine. She begged and pleaded and I gave in. The payments came out of my rent, and so on.
So in total maybe £410 was off my rent and I was giving her £140 per month. All fine, but I now have two massive loans I need to pay back. The £1,500 loans has now been paid off a while ago and I am now a couple months off the £3,500 one. No big issue. However just before my sister's birthday came up in October, my mum asked me for £500 which she would pay me back within 3 weeks. I said no because I'd be living bare minimum for the next weeks as I'd just have enough money for travel and lunch at work. I thought that was the end off it.
Turns out she found my wallet and took out £500 out of my savings which I only discovered on the night of my sister's birthday when I was checking my accounts. So I was obviously pissed as I told her no and she did this behind my back. She said it'll be back in my account by the Friday. Friday comes, still no £500 back in my savings. So it's now been 2 months, since my sister's party and I've lost £500 from my savings and my mum has repeatedly asked me for money to loan out to her "that she'll pay back". I've said no because I am still missing my £500. She now goes on to about how we are family and family should help each other, and that I am being spiteful. To be fair, I've threatened to tell my dad about the whole situation about the loans and savings as he is totally unaware.
So here I stand, a mum who constantly asks me for money and being made feel guilty about not being able to lend her money because I am her son. My sister who is 18 is taking my mum's side and saying I am being disrespectful but I feel like I am being totally just. I just don't want to have to repeatedly wait for my money back knowing that my mum is just gonna end up asking me again. I've told her the past 2 months I am not giving her any money at all, and despite this she keeps asking.
TDLR: I've taken 2 loans out for my mum who misses payments, meanwhile she asks for money frequently. One time I said no, she took money out of my savings without telling me. Hasn't paid me back. Now accuses me of being spiteful and disrespectful to her and the family. Meanwhile I just want my money back and for her to stop asking me for money, I almost 21 years old and I don't need to worrying about lending money to people.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9ur5aj
|
{
"description": "wanting my friends to make more effort",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my friends to make more effort?
|
I've recently started a different college to my friends and we insisted that we'd stay in touch despite not seeing each other as much. However, every time I bring up that we should make plans they say "yeah" and don't make any contribution. I feel like I'm expected to plan everything, but I'm very unmotivated considering the fact they don't give me any input other than a simple "yeah". I have to be the one to force plans on them and set a date, time and place.
Am I an asshole for not putting effort in because they aren't?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b28uss
|
{
"description": "calling out my friend for what I consider to be really disrespectful behaviour",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for calling out my friend for what I consider to be really disrespectful behaviour?
|
One of my roommates is also one of my best friends. I love her to pieces, but she sometimes acts in a way that I find to be incredibly disrespectful and upsetting. She has a really bad habit of making plans, and then at the time of the plans she’ll be doing something else, and not responding to my texts, essentially leaving me hanging. Now this doesn’t happen very often, but often enough that it really gets under my skin.
I know that description is kinda vague, so I’ll give a specific example. Last night when she got home we talked and made plans to go to the library today. I said I was going to get up and come early in the day, and she said that she had a dance practice until 2 and would meet me after her practice. So I went to the library, and at about 1:30 I saved her a spot and sent her a text basically saying “hey, I’m at (X library) if you’re still coming after dance”.
By 3, she hasn’t texted me back or arrived at the library. We have each other on find my friends, so I checked where she was, thinking maybe her practice went late, and saw that she’s at her friend’s apartment (they’re mutual friends, I’ve been there a bunch and recognized the location). I don’t have any issue with the fact that she went to her friend’s place, but I find it incredibly disrespectful that she didn’t bother to let me know she wasn’t coming when we had plans and I was saving her a seat, especially since this is far from the first time she’s disappeared with these friends when we were supposed to do something.
So, WIBTA for basically calling her out on how upsetting and disrespectful I find this? She’s one of my best friends plus we live together and I really don’t want to cause drama if it’s unnecessary, but I also think it’s super rude to not let me know. It would take all of 30 seconds to send me a text saying “hey sorry, I’m actually hanging out with (X) after practice”, but it just feels like she doesn’t care enough to let me know. This is not the first time she’s done something like this, where at the time of our plans she’s not there and not texting me back, and I just feel like she thinks it’s not important to let me know, but maybe I’m just overreacting?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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ae3s5a
| null |
AITA Broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years.
|
So, my highschool sweet heart and i have been together for 5 long years. Last Thursday I ended the relationship due to my best friend messaging me informing me that he made her uncomfortable by walking with her side by side with his hand on her waist. Not once but twice.
Ex boyfriend says that I'm blowing this out of portion and that he "i unthinkingly lead (friends name) by the waist while making fun of his best friend for not going into a Anime store'
He apologized for making my friend uncomfortable, but hr never apologized to me, he still hasn't. I asked 3 people for their opinion of this situation before I confronted him. When i spoke to him on the phone, he told me "she is short and that's were my hand fell" my ex boyfriend is 5'11 and she's 5'2..
Am I the asshole for ending it?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
9u1dfx
|
{
"description": "slapping my Aunt back after she slapped me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for slapping my Aunt back after she slapped me?
|
This happened 2-3 years ago, I was 15 years old.
We got a house and aunt decides to live with us for a few months.
Months prior to her slapping me, we had a massive argument. At that argument, I admit, I was being a bratty 15 year old, I got mad at her for complaining about how I burnt the rice I was cooking and we screamed at each other back and forth. We ended up not talking for months.
We gave each other the cold shoulder for months, she would often “throw shade” at me and say awful things about me to my sister. She would say that I probably dip her toothbrush on the toilet or some other awful thing like that. For the record, I never did anything bad to her things. I simply ignored her.
One night, my mom got mad at me because I didn’t want to wash the dishes she left on the sink because I had to study. She always left her stuff on the sink cause we’re the nieces and nephews so we apparently had to clean up after her. I got full of it and basically confronted her. She said a few choice words and I said a few choice words as well. I don’t exactly remember what I told her but it really hurt her and she slapped me and I slapped her back. She got so mad that she basically smacked me in the head multiple times while screaming at me.
In my culture, it’s an asshole move and I feel more of an asshole especially since she had a miscarriage a few months later. I’ve been shamed by my aunts and by grandmother for being a bad kid and I feel like shit to this day.
tldr: Aunt and I got into an argument over dishes, I said some words that hurt her, she slapped me, I slapped her back and I possibly may have caused a miscarriage.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
RKQ3IeWjZGsIUgnjWRJOHihi5d4K19cM
|
au87vw
| null |
AITA over not being a functioning human at 0330
|
Bit of back ground my gf and I work almost opposite shifts I work 0400-1400 she works 1200-2200 both Monday through Friday, (yay for weekends)
I tend to stay up till she gets home from work to spend some time with her in and nap in the afternoon to get a few extra hours sleep, I get up for work about 0315 and we recently bought some black charcoal toothpaste only issue with it is it stains the sink, and I’ll be honest at 0315 I’m not the best at rinsing the sink, I’m practically a walking zombie at that hour, this has caused a few minor telling off from my gf to clean up after my self, and I get it hard black toothpaste in the sink isn’t ideal for anyone to look at,
This morning we’re just getting ready to go out for a bit of shopping and I’ve yet to brush my own teeth, ( 1330 grim af I know) in the sink is dry hard toothpaste now I know it’s not me I’ve not brushed yet, so I jokingly mention it, in an I see you point way, well all hell broke loose 🤦🏻♂️
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
3buChqB6dEEqVI1YdgeG5NkT3ArX6tv6
|
b4dufy
|
{
"description": "getting upset that my so is \"flirting\" with other people",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for getting upset that my SO is “flirting” with other people?
|
Sorry for any formatting issues, I’m on mobile.
So, long story short, we haven’t been doing all that well recently because I genuinely HAVE been an asshole for a good chunk of the year. Anger issues, it’s not fun. I’m working on trying to see a therapist as it currently stands but setting up a new doctors appointment and running through insurance isn’t fun.
Well, we live together. And we’ve been dating off an on for a while, decided to make it official this year by moving in together and blah blah. I just recently learned my anger has become an issue, and a lot of it for the past month has been randomly directed at her. She’s an angel, did nothing wrong, and took it all without a word. A couple of weeks ago she finally said to me “I’m not sure I can do this anymore” which was a massive eye opener for me, and I began to work on trying meditation and other forms of anger control until I could get on some anti depressant medication.
But back to the story. The other day I noticed she was on her phone, like a lot, and at one point I had glanced over and she was sending pictures, not nudes just general selfies etc, to some guy with a nickname on her phone. And his response included the word “princess” so I asked her about it. She immediately got self defensive and began to raise her voice, to which I did as well and things got a little heated and I said “hey look, can we talk about this like adults instead of screaming at each other?” So we did. Her response to the so called “flirting” was that it was “Helping my self confidence issues, and it’s not like I’m seeing him in person. He’s just a customer from work who gave me his number and I decided to text him because why not”
I take issue to this, and I said so, to which she HAD called me an asshole, and has now taken off from the apartment for the night. Not sure where she’s going, she blocked me and she’s been gone for about an hour now. I don’t think she’s coming back home tonight because she took her laptop and everything with her.
Which begs the question, AM I the asshole? Because I honestly don’t know. My anger IS an issue but part of me says she shouldn’t be doing that, regardless of whether or not she’s “not meeting him in person”. But I could also be overreacting, and I’d rather not talk to my friends about it because I don’t like to bother them with personal details.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
DGfji515L3q6qFI8uyNEltj09YWeQc7h
|
b0154y
|
{
"description": "holding this grudge against my dad from a decade ago",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for holding this grudge against my dad from a decade ago
|
Ten years ago my stepmom accused me of stealing money from my stepbrother. I was 19 at that time, my stepbrother is a month younger. The whole thing was a set up, my stepmom told me it was. She and I had a fight the day before and she told me to just watch what she can do. The next day I got back from work and was met with the accusation that I've stolen thousands of dollars from my stepbrother. My parents kept our money in a lock box in their room with the key hidden. I also had a bank account so I had my own debit card for gas and a little spending money but 90% of my money went into the box. Stepmom claimed thousands of dollars were missing from my stepbrothers money in the lock box. After days of fighting it was determined that there was no proof I stole it but I would be punished anyway. My dad sat me down at the kitchen table to tell me my punishment as my stepmom stood behind him with the biggest smile,dancing and flipping me off. First was that they were cutting off paying for my college. They had already paid for my first and second semester at a community college but they took that money back out of my money. They also took away my debit card and gave me a strict allowance of only gas money to get to work, this included keeping track of my odometer calculating it down to the mile. This was to go on until I moved out which I did about a year later.
News was spread around that I was a thief and friends and family distanced themselves, plus I could not go out with no money and being tracked. I was doing well in college but I was not allowed to go back until I moved out and could have control of my own money. There are many reasons I rarely have communicated with my parents the past 10 years but this is one of the bigger ones. My dad has been trying to get me to meet with him and talk things out, mostly because he wants to see his grandaghter. My brothers car broke down so Ive been giving him rides to my parents house. This time I got stuck there talking to my dad. He asked me whats going on with me ignoring him and everything so I tried to talk. First thing I brought up was the situation explained above and my dad and brother laughed out loud at me. Dad said he cant believe I still think about that and that its a long time to hold something agaist him. I told him if we cant even get passed that there's no point talking and left. My brother texted me throughout the night and today trying to get me to come back and talk more, he says 10 years is a long time to hold that against my dad and I should leave it in the past. They say even with what happened its my own fault for not finishing college and moving out. Just thinking about it, 10 years does sound like a long time to hold on to somthing and plenty of people do put themselves through college under worse circumstances. So now im wondering if I am wrong to hold this particular grudge from ten years ago against him.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b552yq
|
{
"description": "giving them a reason to uninvite me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for giving them a reason to uninvite me?
|
My dad's side of the family is kind of a lot and to be honest, I don't like spending time with them. We don't agree on politics, religion, or basically anything. I see them twice a year, give or take. They get a little drunk and loud and judgmental. I try to change the subject to neutral topics like baking so that we can avoid any drama, like the time I declined a burger with a brief "I'm vegetarian" and my aunt wouldn't hug me goodbye because "animals were put on this earth for our use" and I was going against the will of God.
My sister (30) is dating an older man (45, I think?) and when my aunts found out, they freaked out. There was a lot of drama and now they won't talk to her.
I am gay. My immediate family is super cool and supportive about it, but I know that my extended family would not be. My dad is encouraging me to come out to my extended family.
Here's where the (potential) asshole part comes in. I think that if I came out to them, I would never be invited to one of their family events again. It seems like it happened to my sister. It would be so great to not have to spend time with them. We have nothing in common and they are kind of crappy people. So I leave it in your hands: WIBTA if I came out to them so that I wouldn't have to spend time with them again?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
RIGHT
|
8OAT9lAOqEud8yxL5FV3b4E8vPxfFiB7
|
b16duh
| null |
AITA dad won't let me sit on the sofa
|
i can be a messy person but never on purpose, i'm just really clumsy and drop stuff. about a year ago i ruined my dad's carpet by dropping soda on it and stained a suit jacket of his when i borrowed it. i'm trying to get better at being more careful.
dad has a no eating on the furniture rule because our living room set is a very light color. i have been much more mindful recently so I thought it would be ok if i ate some pizza on the sofa with my movie while he was gone. i know this was wrong of me and i feel bad about it. i dropped the pizza and it stained the fabric.
dad yelled at me when he came home because we don't have a lot of money. I tried to wipe the stain but made it worse and now he has to pay to have it cleaned. i was apologizing but he wouldn't forgive me for ruining the sofa and told me i'm not allowed to sit on it anymore and have to sit on our older chair in the living room since i'm clumsy. I got very upset because i felt like he was being too harsh over a mistake and told him i didn't want to sit in that chair so he got a plastic crate from our basement and told me i can sit on that instead if i didn't like the chair.
i feel bad for making another mess but i feel like when someone apologizes you should forgive them and he's being harsh.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
VGQpFLsynK5if7hNmUlZRfELvcvRlCOy
|
aw1u49
|
{
"description": "cheating on my abusive gf",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for cheating on my abusive gf?
|
I was in a long distance relationship with a girl (I'll call her Mary. She started taking over my life and my time, to a point where I was in my phone at family gatherings, parties, etc.
Not only did she consume my time, she also started to try and stop some friendships, specificaly, this girl (Rebecca). We were friends since before I even started dating Mary, but the thing is, Mary hated her.
She hated her with a burning passion, She'd wish death uppon her several times, called her a Whore, a Slut, and several other things, but Rebecca had no idea of this, since these 2 never even talked.
One day, Mary and I had a fight about my friendship with Rebecca. The fight ended with Mary saying something like "That bitch is dead to me" and I thought "Oh well, If Rebecca is dead to her, why should I even mention her?"
Wrong move
My friendship with Rebbeca continued normaly for a few months, but I never told Mary about being friends with her, and I never told Rebecca that my gf wished death uppon her without even knowing each other(Rebecca had some self-love issues at the time).
But Mary came to visit me once though
We were having a nice time, when she saw Rebecca in the distance. She asked me "Are you still friends with that bitch?", I told her I still was. She got real mad. We fought and cried for a while, until she decided to test me: Either it was her or Rebecca, couldn't be both.
Since I thought I loved her, I had to talk to Rebecca and tell her the truth: my gf hated her and that we couldn't be friends anymore. She was devastated, and so was I. I talked about the situation with my mom, and she said that if my girlfirend was setting up stupid conditions like that, then she didn't love me as much as she said she did. I told this to Mary and she got in the mindset that she had fucked up, at least partially. She then let me be friends with Rebecca, but still didn't want to know anything about her, but before that, I had to inform her that Me and Rebecca were going to see The Killers live, since the ticket was my brithday present, She got super mad but could't do nothing about it.
At this point, my relationship with Mary was fucking me up in every way possible, but that changed on the day of the concert.
Mary and I didn't speak for most of the day, so, we went to the show and had a great time, mostly because Mary and I didn't talk that much during the day.
But as we were returning home in the van we rented to take us to the concert, it happened.
LSS, Rebecca and I made out.
At that point, I was already certain i didn't love Mary, not after all the shit she put me trough.
We broke up less than a month after that, she didn't knew I cheated.
TLDR (Context is recomended though) : I cheated on my abusive, long distance gf with my best friend she hated with a burning passion.
AITA for this one? I hope y'all can help me out. Also, sorry for grammar mistakes, english ain't my first language.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
it911Zd21xlHQIbYEPPZOxqWPtoKzBgi
|
9zplka
|
{
"description": "not wanting to open my birthday present first thing when I received it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA when I didn’t want to open my birthday present first thing when I received it?
|
Today is my birthday. And I’m working at home. I set my alarm early, dragged my laptop to bed with me, and began the complicated process of signing into my work servers. I was doing this, still half asleep.
My husband comes from the bathroom, goes to the closet and brings me a gift bag, setting it beside me in the bed and wishing me a happy birthday. I said, “thank-you, can I open it later?”
And he got very upset. Saying I’m rejecting him and his gift. Saying he sacrificed buying himself something to buy me this. He grabbed the gift back and left the room.
Now I feel really bad, because money is tight and I’m sure he was excited to give me a gift that was a sacrifice for him financially.
Just such bad timing as I was signing on for work and was already a few minutes late. Although, in hindsight, I could’ve taken two minutes and opened the gift.
So I’m wondering AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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"OTHER": 6,
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"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
X84e7H1TgzCE8jv3ptLFJiZyq5uGrkjg
|
9vgco6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to carry my roommate's drink",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not wanting to carry my roommate’s drink?
|
I live with a good friend from college. Tonight, we were driving home, and he had gotten some Burger King from a drive-thru — none of the food was mine. When we get home, he takes his bag of food out with him, but asks me to grab his drink so he can have a free hand to lock the car (we were in his car). When we get out of the car, I move to hand him his drink, but he tells me to hold it, as he’ll use his keys, already out to open the door too. I tell him it’s his drink and I also have keys, but he refuses, saying it’s just more effort for everyone that way. Admittedly, it was not a long walk to the door and the drink wasn’t heavy, but I still feel it was kind of rude and/or selfish to force someone to carry your stuff for you. When I brought this up to him, he said that I was being stupid for thinking that, and that it’s such little effort to do it shouldn’t matter. AMTI?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3wMFt9XYXXM7bEqvrmq2Y0tBLnlCvPVj
|
9yca6e
| null |
AITA: Feud With Season Ticket Holder In Front Of Me
|
Here's the situation: I have very expensive basketball season tickets. There is a gentleman in front of me that is constantly blocking my view of the games. Now, I don't think I'm some uptight guy that expects the people in front of me to remain seated the entire game like it's a classical music concert or play, but I feel like this is excessive. Once he stands up, he stays up for the next play or two, thus blocking my view of the court. When I look around no one else is standing when he is. At one point he turned around and very matter-of-factly told me, "Sorry but I like to stand a lot". So it's not like he doesn't know he's being rude. But there's more...
He also vapes during the games. I don't love the whole second-hand vaping thing but it probably wouldn't bother me as much if he wasn't constantly blocking my view of the games. Vaping is explicitly banned in the arena, and the guy is just making my very expensive purchase miserable, so at the beginning of the last game I politely asked him to stop vaping. He didn't take it well. He called me some names and five minutes later went back to it, so my girlfriend mentioned it to the usher. The usher eventually gave the guy a red card, stating that vaping was not allowed. Obviously, he knew that we had reported it and he threw the card at me and told us he was going to stand all the time and make the rest of the season miserable for us. I also overheard him talking to his seatmate and calling me some homophobic slurs (I am a man, at the game with my girlfriend...) and saying that I was making his life miserable at the games.
I have requested a seat change from the team, but I am not sure if that is possible. I understand that both parties involved here paid a lot of money for these tickets and should be able to enjoy the experience, but at this point the remaining 30+ games are going to be uncomfortable for all of us. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
BqbvOFcAQjQL3uxqLenbN8YHhjRt6dVN
|
b8qdso
|
{
"description": "not being able to take a joke",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being able to take a joke?
|
Just for some background, in my (high school) science class, we are arranged in table groups with four people per group. We typically do labs and other class activities with the people in our groups. There’s this guy in my group, I’ll call him J, that is easy to get along with and likes to joke around. One of his go to’s is to say “what are you doing?” in a very exaggerated manner when someone is doing a certain step in a lab. Imagine a tone similar to “wHAt aRe yOU dOiNG.” At first we all thought that it was funny, however, this had been going on for around a month an a half and it had gotten to the point where it was just getting annoying. So one day, when I was pipetting something for a lab, J decides to say “what are you doing” in the same exaggerated manner. I was not having that great of a day, so I was a little passive aggressive in my reply. I said, “If I’m doing something wrong, why don’t you try?” J then told me that I didn’t have to be so pissed and that it was just a joke. I replied saying that his statement wasn’t funny and if he could refrain from saying it in the future. He then glared at me before walking away and hasn’t talked to me since.
I know that it he wasn’t intentionally trying to criticize what I was doing, so AITA for not being able to take a joke?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
tU6g3Gb6V6FGfEsBEp2mGAEiWN6wvYl3
|
azxm0w
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my boyfriend because he kisses his friends when he's drunk",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my boyfriend because he kisses his friends when he’s drunk?
|
When my boyfriend gets drunk he will try and kiss his friends and sometimes succeed. Most of his guy friends will try and back away no guys really try and kiss him back nor do they go up to him and do the same thing. I got a little upset because I don’t want him to kiss anyone no matter if it’s a guy or girl considering that would be considered cheating to me. Also it has made me question his sexuality. He said he’s comfortable with himself so he doesn’t care if he gets called gay, he thinks it’s funny and likes seeing a reaction from his friends. He is in a frat and we are 19 and 20 years old, attending the same college. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Z3LEucvfTMlJD1cPXfMgECPiakfJVfD3
|
aythm7
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help out my older classmate",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to help out my older classmate?
|
It might not seem that bad but I’ve been doing it for the past two semesters and I’m at my limit.
So I’m in my junior year of college and I’m a “traditional student” (I’m 20). My classmate is a non-traditional student and she’s 40 with four children all under 12. We’re both majoring in public health.
I find the material pretty easy to grasp because it’s something I genuinely love. My personal favorite class is epidemiology. However, my classmate has a harder time and is always asking me for help with upcoming exams and homework. As soon as an assignment is due, she texts me asking if she can see mine “as a reference”. I had to show her to make an excel spreadsheet and how to interpret a table and graph.
The thing is she constantly talks in class about how she worked 25 years at a prestigious hospital where she was an administrative manager. I’m fairly busy trying to balance work and school so I can’t handle it when she wants tutoring every single day for the most easiest of problems. I feel like she doesn’t even try to do them on her own because she knows I’ll be there to help. I get that I have a much easier time in the class but that doesn’t mean I have the time or energy to explain everything all the time.
She also tries to intervene in my personal life which irritates me even more. She had a failed marriage with someone of the same background as my boyfriend and tells me not to be too serious because my boyfriend would leave me in a heartbeat. I’m just sick and tired of it but I feel like a dick because I know she’s older and I think that if it were my mom in college, I wouldn’t want her to feel bad about asking for help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
KO8i2o10G38fglehLfmAIIrBPfCaVFsx
|
b5kjax
|
{
"description": "wanting nothing to do with my sibling's lives",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting nothing to do with my sibling's lives?
|
I'll try and summarize the best I can.
To give a few starting details;
I'm a 21yo male living in Canada. Been living alone since I was 16, had a rough upbringing. Military father thought it was okay to take out his anger, stress and PTSD on his son by mentally, emotionally and physically abusing him. Punching, kicking, slapping, death threats, names, the works. Was an only child until I was, about 14.
Parents figured having kids would fix their crumbling marriage, which was only getting worse, because by the time I was hitting 14 I was a foot taller than my father and a lot more muscular than him, and he turned the abuse to my mother as a result.
Since 16, I've had very basic contact, mostly visiting to see my younger siblings. Reported the abuse to the cops and protective services, he was charged with assault and plead guilty. From what I remember, he got a relatively light sentence, under a year, allowed to work to support his wife and my sibs so long as he reported to prison each night and for weekends. Honestly, the details are fuzzy for me, I didn't really care to hear them. He ended up allowed afterward to still live with the mother and my sibs.
I'm 21 now, and from the sparse things I've heard, things have only gotten worse.
And I don't.. Really care anymore. My siblings are about eight and six. I love them, I really do. They didn't deserve any of this.. Mess. This bullshit.
The mother recently fled the house to a women's shelter with both of my siblings to file police reports and for safety, and.. Well, asked for help.
Basically said if the kids were taken away, to volunteer to raise them. And my response was basically, a very blunt fuck, no. As much as I love them, and they deserve better..
I'm not willing to take on that burden. I make 30k CAD a year. I can't support two kids. It's not my job. I don't believe either of the parents are fit, but neither am I. I don't know where that leaves me. I'm not willing to get involved again, I already left that part of my life a long time ago.
Am I the asshole for being tempted to just, walk away? I'm honestly asking, I'm not looking for ass pats here. If I should step up for them, by all means, feel free to tell me that I'm an asshole for being heartless. Or tell me I'm not. I'm torn on this.
Thank you for any reply.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5CWNUcFwzxDOzYrDcHSSlIaa9rXcqhC0
|
amq1ai
| null |
AITA :Sold Nephew's Xbox360 I bought for them after his mom threatened them to smash it into floor
|
Back into 2006 when Xbox 360 was brand new I bought one for my nephews. Months later both of them stopped going to school , one high school and one college devoting 90% of their lives to it and ignoring all responsibilities, household chores , hygiene, working my sister fed up warned them about smashing it to pieces several times , and they ignored her so she cut up the power supply cables and smashed the controllers , but they managed to hide console from her so she wouldn't smash it to ground. About that time they started acting real disrespectful to me, and I warned them I would be taking xbox away if they kept being that way. They told me to fuck off. Being I spent over $500 in consoles , tax and carrying it over in flight to get it to them day one on release date I guy I knew that was closing down a restaurant had some premium furniture worth like $2k he was ordered to destroy because owners did-int pay up , I offered him a new xbox for trade and he accepted and I got the deal of the century. My nephews have hated me ever since. I don't think I was being an Indian giver , they let themselves go , and they had multiple warnings and they were school dropouts because of it.
Am I The Asshole?.
All these years I thought I was on the right. Also these kids grew without a dad and I filled out that role. Discipline, taking them out to movies , toys , pay for their school when mom was broke.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
JpxeroJhFng7H4k70b8eU3Zmcyxn0zUd
|
accw2r
|
{
"description": "disagreeing with my sister",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For disagreeing with my sister?
|
My sister finished watching Birdbox and began telling the story to me. I havent watched the movie and I wasn't planning to, so this was all fine. When she finished, she said no man could do what Sandra Bullocks character could do. I didn't think that was true and I also thought that her comment was sexist against men, so I called her out on it. We had a quick argument before I decided to shut up because I hate arguing. I agreed with her that Sandra is a really strong character, but I don't understand how a man couldn't do what she did. Now my sister thinks I'm a sexist asshole. AITA for thinking this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
6v2Ay2jiangGWHXIHaoR6nLpEazCnqif
|
b3x9d9
|
{
"description": "telling an ex-friend where to get off",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling an ex-friend where to get off?
|
Last year, this woman (26 F and me (25 M) hit it off. We got each other's rather cynical sense of humor and I thought she was just raw awesome at the time. I didn't even realize I had fallen for her until the fifth time I found myself fantasizing about her. (In my defense, I was incredibly sheltered by my family who either were really extreme Catholics or used it as an excuse - I didn't even have a kiss until I was 22 and no one really bothered to explain the birds and bees to me. Had to learn everything myself.)
Well, she had given up on relationships and was not looking for anything serious at the time we were hanging out.
I copped on, thinking "you can still be friends, you're an adult" meanwhile still pining for her like an idiot and not even knowing. Kept trying to be happy with the decreasing time I spent with her as she found other people to hang out with.
Finally, I ghosted her after sending a message where I admitted it to her and told I was sorry for not being able to get over it. Deleted all my social media and about three months in started dating. That is literally the only thing that has changed: I'm still at the same job, same glasses and same damn haircut.
Two weeks ago I finally got back online. She then tried to reach out to me on my new social media page and wondered where'd I had been.
Told her about my life to be polite and she got weird about me mentioning the fact I had been dating in the time since we last talked.
After a few turns of "I never thought you'd be like that" and her trying to steer me into flirting like when we first met and brought up when she had a crush on me, I got fed up and said:
"Why are you so concerned about my romantic life all of a sudden? I was willing to do anything for you once, and that wasn't good enough to even bother to call me. I tried to respect your beliefs even as my unconscious mind fought against me. You had a chance to be my friend, but you didn't want to be that either. If we're going to play this shit again, please just block me now."
Blocked her, then she posts the conversation on her wall and now everyone is tearing into me for getting so hostile with her just trying to be friendly.
I don't think I'm wrong but given the absolute volume of responses I got from other people, I'm not sure I'm reading the situation right. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
d6IsCUrGVGkCOhWwiLy3j9poS2YCIoN8
|
asksij
|
{
"description": "laughing at a joke where a women gets punched",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for laughing at a joke where a women gets punched?
|
Here is the joke for context:
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/f13czO2
I consider myself to be extremely feminist, but I honestly thought this was hilarious, not once did sex cross my mind when I laughed at this joke because that's not even a factor in what makes it funny, it's the abruptness, the way he cut her off mid sentence and the way her tumble down the roof is so comically drawn.
However in having a discussion with some guy (who I assume has the best of intentions) and he started ranting about how the joke wasn't funny because it's a man with more strength hitting a woman.
I said I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter much, I just liked the joke, to which he then implied I was sick minded.
I called him out for gaslighting me with mental illness just because I happened to find something funny that he did not, I admit I could have probably been less of an ass in my messaging, but I'm not going to sit here and take accusations of misogyny from some rando on the Internet.
(Especially when such claims are baseless without him knowing my context)
Idk what to think tbh, even from the POV of a feminist I think he was HARDCORE white knighting the issue. It also seemed as though his issue was less with me, but the material itself and what the scene represented, he claimed it was a serious scene, which I fundamentally disagree with (I mean look at the panels and how it's drawn, there is no way that's not done for laughes).
Anyway I'm at a loss, so am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GbAEk9HoOOBNnkGJsULewQpzbTufo6yS
|
b5g6to
|
{
"description": "wanting to track spending between me and a friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to track spending between me and a friend?
|
<apols for the long one>
My best friend and I hang out almost every day after work and over the weekend. Usually going to the cinema or at each other's place and we usually get dinner too. Either eating out, ordering in, or cooking for one another.
We usually take turns to pay and it switches back and forth generally regardless of the value of the previous dinner, unless she or I paid for something bigger say that included a bunch of drinks, then the other will pay twice in a row. Pretty casual agreement, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
Recently she announced she wanted to start saving to buy property, and she would eat out less etc. That's fine, though I didn't really believe her, she says this often. But she has terrible impulse control when it comes to trying to save.
So to be sure I'm not hogging her money, I suggested we use an app to keep track or who buys dinner and who owes who what. (Not sure if this is relevant but I make 4 or 5 times more than her). She agreed and we kicked it off and I kept reminding her to log what she spends, but she was flippant and dismissive, saying it didn't matter, while I logged all the meals I paid for. (I mean meals, not soda or candy we might grab and share at the cinema or at home)
Now that we've been at it for a while, she is in debt by about 70 quid. Because she isn't logging but also the meals I happened to buy we're more expensive.
Now I feel a bit shit, coz my main intention was to be sure I didn't make her overspend, and to help her budget a little. But I also can't help but be a little miffed that I feel like I'm paying more. On the other hand I don't care, I have more disposable cash, and it could just be the luck of the draw for this period of payment.
It feels a little like Pandora's box now, and I wish I didn't start the tracking, but here we are.
Tldr am I the asshole for tracking spending between my and my friend? Would I be the asshole to keep doing it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EcVoI85qdFSkzdyzOhg4v8hahXigs693
|
b688j2
|
{
"description": "wanting to move out of home",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to move out of home?
|
For reference: I am in college and working full-part time
I'm asking this because my older sister actually told me I was being selfish and not thinking about how my mom would feel. Let me explain this situation.
My mom recently (sometime around January) quit her job to go and search for an RN position (she worked as a PCA II in a hospital but recently got her RN certification). Good for her, I'm insanely happy and I don't mind it. She told me and my older sister because of the lack of her income we need to start paying out own health and car insurance which I don't mind. The bad thing that happened with this shift is that before I used to be the one that always took care of the house. Ever since my dad passed away, I took care of the house. Mom worked, I came home from school, fed my little sister (who I practically helped raise), cleaned the entire house, and studied. This went on for a good while until recently.
Once she quit and I started paying for my own things, my mom has become more and more...controlling over certain situations. She berates me on how I spend and save my own money (she can see my checking account because when I opened my bank account it was under hers), how I act, how I dress, basically everything. It's escalated pretty bad to the point where anytime she begins to talk to me about anything that went wrong in the house with my little sister I automatically apologize even when it isn't my fault.
I have had many breakdowns as a result to this and talked about it with my boyfriend. He suggested the idea to move out because even my little sister is starting to tell at me how my mom yells at me, telling me I'm worthless and that she doesn't understand why my boyfriend is still with me (she's 10 and has had anger issues in the past). I chalked it up to her growing up without a dad. This of course was a mistake to bring it up to my mom because she immediately started telling me she's the last living piece of my dad she has left and that she would never do anything wrong (dad is stepdad, I don't actually talk to my birth father).
This has gotten to the point where I'm terrified of even asking my mom for any kind of help or even to go out with friends because all she will reply with is 'clean the entire house first before you go' or 'you don't deserve to go out anyway' and my personal favorite 'you have no friends, who are you even gonna go with?'. I talked to my older sister about this and all she said was "suck it up, you're being selfish and an asshole for even thinking about leaving mom. It isn't even that bad."
So Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vSYUB01HyROyrOeIth6fW60cpsb1aoLD
|
aby8kd
|
{
"description": "not helping my ex co-workers to get a job",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping my ex co-workers to get a job?
|
We used to work together with these people (3 guys). I have to admit that we became more than co-workers. We became close friends. With time, I advanced in my career while they couldn't. It's not because I was better than them. Actually I really believe one of them is better at this job than me and for the rest, we are in the same level I think. But I managed to advanced in my career because I was trustworthy, my employers knew they could count on me on any task, and I was never afraid of taking risks and responsibility. One day, they thought they are not getting paid enough at where we work and I can't say that they were wrong. But we were newbies in this job and we had to learn it properly first. 3 of them left work together. They wanted me to leave too, but I rejected this offer because I had promised to firm's founder (When he asked, of course) that he could count on me at future in-coming projects and he doesn't need to worry about their scales.
After few years, I had some great business relationships in the entire sector, both local and international. I became the head project manager and the general quality assurance lead in the firm. I was representing my company in conferences etc. I think they had learned this.
One day, two of them visited me and said they both are looking for job, they can't find any and if I can recommend them to anyone. I said of course. Later that day I called some of my friends. Actually every single one of them told me they aren't looking for anyone. I managed to convince a company owner who offered me a job a year ago, to employ my two friends with 40% more salary than the average market.
But I quickly realized that was a really bad idea. Apparently they were always late to work. I knew what they were capable of, I knew they were good at their job, but they never showed that there. At the end, they left that firm few months later with some bogus excuse. And caused my relationship with that company owner to get bitter. I am pretty sure he won't jump on to my advices ever again.
I asked them the reason and they told me that they weren't earning as much as I do. I tried to explain my friends without breaking their hearts that I am in a managerial position while they aren't. But they can quickly advance as I did in the past, and I told them I am willing to help them in this process. They said no, thanked for my help and left my office.
This was a year ago. Few days ago, three of them contacted me by saying they are looking for a job. I didn't even bother to pick up the phone. I didn't call anyone. After a day, I called them and told them no one is looking for anyone at the moment. I am 100% sure I can find them a job, but also I just don't trust their work ethics anymore. I am sure they will embarrass me.
Am I The Asshole here for not helping them out... Again? I feel bad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
imJPD9XEmNrwsr6JWcsc5Obz4RbeHeKf
|
b1jhnr
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend her other 'best friend' hates her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my best friend her other ‘best friend’ hates her?
|
I’ve been best friends with both of these girls since 4th and 5th grade, I’ll use the names Emma and Lily to address them
One day I was on the phone with my best friend Emma and Emma said “don’t tell Lily but I secretly hate her, she’s so annoying” I didn’t say anything at the time which I regret but after this I told Lily that Emma said she hates her. Lily starts bursting out in tears. She’s basically sobbing at this point, and I feel really bad about this. Anyways after a few hours everyone in our friend group finds about this and calls me an asshole for telling Lily what Emma said.
I don’t think I did anything wrong, I would wanna know if someone was being a fake friend to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
L1ZSWAchxFDn3gHZUr1Ipvi0ziAoxWmM
|
aza0s5
|
{
"description": "wanting my sibling to pick a different Lent resolution",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for wanting my sibling to pick a different Lent resolution?
|
My family and I are Catholic, and as such, from Ash Wednesday until Easter, everyone high school aged and up picks something to sacrifice, like social media or chocolate or something. My sibling chose to give up eating land aninal meat.
My sibling and I are in high school, and neither of us can drive or have jobs, so we eat the same dinner, snacks etc. Since my sibling chose to give up land meat for Lent, this means that at home I will essentially have to adhere to their diet, because our mother decided to accommodate their resolution by planning out fish based meals for next week. Also, during the school week, my lunches are primarily dinner left-overs, and I don't have big breakfasts, so I'm very reliant on family dinners. I've brought it up to my family, but my mom and sibling both think I'm being sensitive, selfish and unsupporting.
Basically, I feel like my sibling is forcing me to follow their resolution. From a religious standpoint, it's rude to interfere with someone else's resolution, but I have my own to adhere to. Am I the asshole for wanting my sibling to pick a different Lent resolution?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
P00iyrUEwakh0TNyu8y6s9PaCm17bu9p
|
b6i6nc
|
{
"description": "telling my friend to stop calling herself trans",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 28
}
|
AITA for telling my friend to stop calling herself trans?
|
I have a friend who is a trangender girl (assigned male at birth) who came out several years ago. She is happy with her decision, and everyone who knows her agrees shes been much happier since.
However, she has dealt with disphoria throughout the whole thing, and has spoken to me more than once about how she doesnt "feel enough like a girl."
For the longest time this conversation bugged me because of one thing: she insisted on including "trans" in every thing. "Im a trans girl" or other such statements instead of just "im a girl." Maybe as a cis person i dont understand the importance of labels, but it feels to me like that might be a source of her problems.
Well the last time we spoke i brought this up to her and she went off. "I cant believe you would say that, i thought you were my friend" which i really really didnt understand. I said "well if you're a girl why do you need to specify trans?" And she said "its not that simple a-hole."
Im confused Reddit am I a turd here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 28
}
|
WRONG
|
PKoy600rDcfr9oXT6QlCAcgiC8uEWC2J
|
avn5ug
|
{
"description": "entertaining someone through text just to find out that it was my fwb (were not dating exclusively) who was testing my loyalty to him",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for entertaining someone through text just to find out that it was my fwb (were not dating exclusively) who was testing my loyalty to him?
|
I’m single (24F) but seeing a guy (40M) casually. He pretended to be some guy that sent a wrong text to me. Since I’m single and wanted to expand my network and also, I’m looking for a potential lifetime partner, I did respond to the guy. I had a feeling that this guy was trolling me or maybe knows my fwb or he could be this guy.
We were talking decently but we kept on going despite each other's goodnight. As soon as I sent a photo of me (not sexy, just my face) he immediately switched into a thirsty dog who wanted to have sex with me. The rest of the conversation revolved around him just wanting to fuck me. From there, I lost my interest and did not talk to him anymore. But he kept on pushing me to my limits (this went on for 3 days) - I still did not meet up with him. He also sent a photo of him (which my fwb googled, who knows lol)
He was persistent to meet me. I told him, I could meet him as long as we’re not going to have sex after or what if he’s not attracted to me. He agreed. We didn’t meet as he was late and this fwb of mine texted me that he will be within the vicinity that night. I was having a feeling that this guy is him. I played it cool. So we (fwb &I) met. He kept asking why I was at the mall at that time. I was going to tell him that my date ditched me but I chose not to as I don’t want him to think of anything. But don’t get me wrong, if this guy was really existing and we had something, I would tell him, of course. I’m a free bird, after all.
He didn’t admit that it was him until last night, the guy kept on texting me. I was still cold as ice to the thirsty guy. He gave up finally. Then I tried to flirt with him (at least I tried) and told him that I’m not really feeling it. He sent me a dick pic lol. So I sent an old photo of mine (not nude) and told him I’m going to sleep. I was not really turned on, honestly.
My fwb was texting me that night, also but I noticed the delayed in his responses and that him and this guy have the same format of texting. I knew it was him.
As soon as I said goodnight to the guy, he texted me saying that I was talking to somebody and that I sent a picture of me. I didn’t admit at first, but then I asked him why he was doing it. He said what the hell was I talking about. I said just admit that it was him. He finally admitted. He said he has trust issues as his ex-wife cheated on him with his best friend.
I understand why he did it but he was guilt-tripping me for sending a photo to the guy and trying to met up with him and have sex. I told him I was not going to have sex with him and that I only sent the photo just so he can shut the fuck up and let me sleep.
He doesn’t want to commit with me but keeps acting like he owns me. I like him a lot but I think what he did was too desperate. He doesn’t hold my heart so he doesn’t have the right to get mad at me for doing it. So AITA in this case or is he?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
J2VXM5QorELMa8ohwOvB5JFYbjxJc8hX
|
a8hr2j
|
{
"description": "not reminding my boyfriend to get me something for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for not reminding my boyfriend to get me something for Christmas?
|
Some background: my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years and have a baby together. I love him very much!
The first year we were together he got me a small Christmas present and I was thrilled! However since then every birthday and Christmas has come and gone without a present in sight! Now don't get me wrong- I know buying stuff for people isn't how you show love. However every year before my birthday or Christmas I remind him that it's coming up just to be disappointed. I get him something for his birthday and for Christmas every year. My birthday was a few months ago and, despite telling him that I wanted something for my birthday, we "didn't have the money." Now I find myself hesitant to remind him that it's Christmas because I want to see if he gets me something.... anything... am I the asshole for testing him?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Er8J5B4EFBRFQ98nQDodoYOC6T9UXehK
|
aeji5r
|
{
"description": "exposing a girls nudes to the entire school triggering a dominoe effect",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for exposing a girls nudes to the entire school triggering a dominoe effect?
|
Long story but the title is pretty much the gist of it (Alt for obv reason)
My friend for whatever sudden reason was getting gradually depressed because he was single and a virgin. To help I put him on this thottie I knew. I fucked her last year and still kept the nudes. Anyway, they hit off well after awkward bumps and I finally set them up on a "date" at his empty house. (I paid for the food and even gave her a ride) I picked her up and she just said "it was fun" I didn't want to be obvious in what I was asking for so I left it at that and assumed he did it. The next day however he said he didn't want to talk about it but eventually told me after making out when she saw his dick she started LAUGHING. This story was confirmed when I eavesdropped on them at lunch a few days later and heard them talking about how small he was. To retalliate I posted her nudes w her face clear as day (Both pics exposed everything, tits and vag) and said "This thot made fun of my homies dick so we boutta make fun of her tits crying emoji" she and her buddies started dming me some Bs but I blocked all of them cuz I didn't wanna hear it. This was on friday so after the weekend when we came back I didnt see her in school. Apparently she attempted suicide and is now taking counseling I think. She also exposed a couple of guys who she got dick pics from yet ig to get back at them over the weekend causing THEM to get mad at ME. I then found out one of the said boys exposed her friend (we dated but that was in middle school so it doesn't really count). We didnt see her in school but she posted how "depressed" she was and deleted her instagram. Anyway the thot came back yesterday and it was really awkward. She got the typical "cold shoulder" "lauging behind back" reaction but that's just high school. Later her friends got mad at ME for not apologizing. Later that day I heard she fought someone talking about her nudes now her along with a couple of the aforementioned exposed students and the girl she fought are suspended for 3 days. This morning her white knight beta ass fanboy club started threatening me telling me they're gonna jump me after school. I told them and her friends I'll apologize when she apologizes to my bro and give him some pussy he deserves. I also found out today a couple more people got exposed by the already exposed people mentioned above.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
mmSsJQxn7oBw1dhi7tGe0PU5A7zmybo1
|
9ydjla
|
{
"description": "wanting to tell this girl she's not allowed to come to my house especially with her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I want to tell this girl she’s not allowed to come to my house especially with her boyfriend
|
So I’m in an organization with tons of people. We have bigs and littles it’s co Ed. Anyways, my roommates and I have the biggest house because it’s off campus so we usually have parties and kick backs here. Anyways, I posted here awhile ago about this same girl. Story is she cheats on her boyfriend, she cheated emotionally and physically on her boyfriend with ME. She then got too fucked up one night with her best friend and they crashed in my bed and because I was in the same room as them she falsely implied I sexually assaulted her friend(there were witnesses who have my back and know I didn’t).
Fast forward to today one of my roommates has a bday and she’s coming because she’s part of the “family” he’s in since we have four separate families within the .org. I’m totally fine with her coming today even though her boyfriend came to town. However, I kinda want to ask my roommates if next time she’s not allowed in my house especially with her boyfriend. The reasoning I have is because I met him before he was cool, she told me she liked me more than a friend and hinted their relationship was bad then she said she loves her bf and now she’s posting on Instagram, she also accused me of sexual assault yet still asks me to buy her alcohol?
I don’t want her in my house because of what she did to me, I especially don’t want her boyfriend here because I feel bad for him. I’m not the first guy she’s cheated on him with and in my head why would you bring your boyfriend to the house of the guy you were fucking and also accused of “possibly” assaulting her best friend.
I know she’s a part of my organization and I hate to exclude someone(not really) I don’t want to be a dick tho. Knowing her she would act like I’m excluding her for some other reason. But it’s just I KNOW it will be awkward when I see the boyfriend because I DONT want to act like nothing happened. I somewhat want to be distance from him so he knows something is off. She’s never going to tell him and even tho I’m an asshole for sleeping with her boyfriend I do feel bad because no guy deserves it. I think she’s also dangerous to be around if she’s so scared of being found out she’s cheating she’s willing to potentially ruin someone’s life.
I’m wondering maybe I can just let her come over sometimes if there’s an event but restrict her form alcohol yet I still would not want her boyfriend over ever again. I just can’t stand them acting lovey dovey knowing that she’s a huge cheater.
Am I an asshole if I make a rule like this? I know at least one of my roommates and his girlfriend would agree with me but my other roommate who has a girlfriend who is friends with her may not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VAFH04deHwQz2QK3OC5DMbIiWn4oSVjB
|
a8q9qg
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with this girl who turned into Dr. Jekyll/Mr. hyde",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with this girl who turned into Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde?
|
So I’ve been talking to this girl for a few weeks, I’ve known/known of her for a few years since she’s related to my cousin’s SO and worked at a store right by where I used to live. So I’d see her every now and then and say hi, you could say she and I had an acquaintance-ship with each other.
We both recently (within the last year) have gotten out of long term relationships, so we started texting earlier this month, but we were just hanging out as friends/maybe more than friends sometimes. This was only for 2 weeks, I only hung out with her maybe 4 times until the issue.
5th time, I get there and she’s clearly high. She has bloodshot eyes, half closed eyelids, walks like a zombie, and tries to tell a story that should’ve taken 2 minutes yet took 15 because she kept going off on tangents or losing her train of thought.
I honestly don’t care, do what you want, the being high thing wasn’t my issue. My problem was she started getting really upset about random things and wouldn’t listen to me trying to reason with her or even just talk her down. Like how dare I help her with the dishes because I got some water on my shirt and that was apparently the worst thing ever for her. She wouldn’t let it go and yelled at me for offering to help, despite her originally accepting it gratefully (3 minutes prior) and kept bringing it up over the next hour and a half.
We were only at her place plus her friend for about 20 minutes bc we had a specific time to go pickup our food. All I really did in that time was ask where the bathroom was three times because she’d forget to tell me halfway through her sentence.
Lots more went on, mostly her wigging out on me for nonsensical things while I was just trying to eat and leave ASAP.
I texted her the next day and asked if she wants to talk about what went on and work things/whatever went on out. She doubled down and accused me of all sorts of things that did not happen: me yelling at her, me being so obviously rude that her friend picked up on it and said I was awful (her friend was there for about 10 min picking something up, she and I talked about her kids and we got along fine), me demanding she do things, ordering her around, etc.
The only time I did anything close to pushing her buttons was saying that I knew she was high, and I’d rather talk about it tomorrow when we’re sober. She then claims weed doesn’t affect her like most people, and that she functions better when high vs sober because she “doesn’t get high anymore”.
I just said okay, I understand, but I was very uncomfortable with how you treated me while you were “high” and I’d just prefer if we parted ways. She’s been losing her shit at me for the past few hours through various phone numbers/texts/facebooks.
AITA for not responding anymore? I’m going through a bunch of really shit life events that are stressing me out, and all I’ve seen from her is drama and indications of more to come.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GgpOnTWeUsmcJ0Mb4CsFQZ2lICQ6fs0C
|
b504zx
|
{
"description": "hiding my online chatting from my mother",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for hiding my online chatting from my mother?
|
Hey, everyone. I’m just gonna get to the point.
&#x200B;
I'm a 16 year old (closeted) transwoman in my junior year. I've been using things like Kik, Skype, Discord, all that to communicate with my friends and find communities for certain topics. I've always been smart about this, and the furthest I've gone in telling people my personal information was my time zone. I'm not an idiot when it comes to personal security, and I don't leak any of my information.
However, ever since I got a phone when I was 14, my entire family (mostly my mom) have been checking it. I get why, even if it's a bit awkward at times. They'll go through all my apps, and even though it always makes me uncomfortable and go all "what do you have to hide?" on me when I ask them not to.
Recently, I started to use Skype for talking to my friends about personal stuff. Things like insecurities, my work, my home life, all that, and I came out to them too about my identity. I have asked my family (especially my mom) to please stay off my phone in the past, and clarified it wasn't that I was hiding something bad or illegal, it's just that I want some privacy in my life. Naturally, they ignored it. So it's not that they *didn't know* I was against it. But either way, I was using my phone at school once, which isn't often since I like to believe I'm a good student. I got caught, family took it away.
But at school, I was told my account was online. It freaked me out, since it wasn't just my personal stuff that they would see, such as me mentioning I have a lot of issues with my family, and that I'm trans and have into dudes, but all of my FRIENDS secrets as well. All of that stuff, violated.
As a result, my parents forcibly outed me. They believed I was being preyed on by weirdos over the internet (the people I talked to who I didn't know in person). Regarding talking to my friends about my life, they said that wasn't necessary because I could do that with *them*, or my therapist. And don't get me wrong, I talk to my therapist about everything (but that's once a month) and my mom about stuff like school, but I'm not going to talk to my mother about mental health when I regularly get shut down.
After several months, I finally got back on Discord. I said I would only use it for gaming with my real life friends, and they can check it all they want. But what they don't know is that I've been using an alternate account to chat with my friends about serious real life issues.
It should be noted that I'm fully aware that yes, family doing stuff like stalking your social media and checking your phone every night with no semblance of privacy is "abuse". They've read my journals and letters I've gotten too, but even then, I honestly don't see it.
I'm also aware that I'm lying to my parents, and that's not good. But I just need to talk, and they're not making it easy, especially when they reject every attempt for me to.
&#x200B;
So. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zTXJLsXEoZF3gVjaQ2jq1zShOptQQ74P
|
aw9rsh
|
{
"description": "not showing up in person to collect tickets to an award ceremony I was nominated for and cut ties with my ex workplace",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't show up in person to collect tickets to an award ceremony i was nominated for and cut ties with my ex workplace
|
While I was a student i had a part time job at this charity as a carer for kids with disabilities. We had a new project that was being developed and I was very excited to get the role of project coordinator. The project was set up to last a year, but about half way through I finished uni and qualified as a nurse. I had planned to continue my part time job while working full time just to see the project to completion, but unfortunately this would beach the terms of my new nursing contact (couldn't work for any other care company). I handed in my resignation but stayed on as a volunteer to see the project to completion, help them bid for another years funding and train my successor. At first I was still coming in every week (we were only open one day a week any way) but as I got busier and busier in my new role I started coming less and less. The project finished in December (though it was successfully renewed for another year) and I haven't been in since then. I said I would still pop by and help out every now and then but I've been very busy with work and somehow it's now march and I still haven't been in.
Late December I found out they nominated me for a young leaders award for my continued support as a volunteer. Today I got a message saying that tickets for the award ceremony had arrived, and would I come and collect them or did they need to post them. I'm not actually working the day they want me to collect them, but... It's my only day off, if I pop in I'll feel obliged to stay and help out, and I feel like an aashole for not collecting them. Especially because the award was for my continued voluntary service, which has now basically stopped since I got the award. I didn't plan it that way, and honestly I think I'd feel less guilty if they haven't given me an award at all.
Would I be an asshole if I let them post the tickets, collect my award then essentially wish them well but cut ties (and no longer continue to visit to help out). It's too late to nominate someone else for the award. Out should I suck it up and continue to occasionally help out and visit for a few more months so it doesn't look like my leaving is coinciding with collecting my award?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
PeImlYhy7Y2QChwoiJHNxc8DBBFTeBhI
|
b9uoom
|
{
"description": "parking and not moving",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for Parking and not moving?
|
So I decided to go out to lunch during work. Just before noon this place fills up so I got there early and the parking lot was starting to get full. There was a mini van that had parked over the line on the front drivers side. I parked next to the van making sure I was centered and straight in the spot. The lady I guess got a to-go order and was on her way out said she cannot get in to her car. I told her that I am parked within the lines and have left plenty space for each side. She wanted me to move my car so she could get in hers.
&#x200B;
Looking at the car I saw that her gas door is open and gas cap is dangling from the side of the car. I told her that she needs to pay more attention to driving and also filling up her car with gas. I walked in to the restaurant and enjoyed my meal. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
qjKCF8qz0OJ0sxJzFGLgt7h3XRUH99mH
|
at56tm
|
{
"description": "cutting off my relationship with my step sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off my relationship with my step sister?
|
Long time lurker first time poster, obligatory comment about mobile formatting.
To give some background, she’s a year older than me and came into my life when I was around 13(now 20). She was a pretty bad influence on me through my teen years but also helped me out a lot through this time as well.
She moved to a different state after graduating high school and always pestered me to come visit her which was difficult as I was recently graduated as well and living paycheck to paycheck, not a lot of excess income to pay for plane ticket. I ended up making it down there once and during this time she would always suggest that we go out to eat and then pressure me into paying, which I also couldn’t really afford, on top of the fact that I’m allergic to cats and she had several at the time. Naturally, I wasn’t that excited to make a return trip and was just never in a place with work that I could go visit for a justifiable amount of time.
Last summer she had planned on returning to our home state to purchase a car and I was going to drive back down with her and then fly back ~2 weeks later. In the days leading up to the trip she was distant and hard to get ahold of, the night before she calls and says she’s not coming as she’s getting evicted from her apartment. She calls about a week later and offers to help me pay for a ticket transfer, and I told her I couldn’t as I had already told my work that the trip was cancelled, and I was planning on taking the trip before the start date of this new job. Didn’t really hear much from her about it after, so now I’m out the cost of a plane ticket at a time when I still didn’t have much money.
Present day, she’s back in our home state and travels between two homes between 1-2 hours away from where I live. She would show up to my house uninvited, make ridiculous messes that she left for me to clean up, and eat my food without asking and justified it by saying that she let me stay with her when I came to visit. She also has asked me to lie to my mom multiple times to cover for her general antics. At this point I’m fed up and have completely cut off contact with her without really giving her an explanation. I feel like talking to her about it would just lead to an argument and I don’t have the patience for it.
TL;DR: step sister says I owe her for things she’s done for me, I got sick of her childish behavior and ghosted her AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Pj473tObm5jGOM9uXlT1yfxTPmAyWadZ
|
a590ny
|
{
"description": "moving in with my brother's friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving in with my brother's friend?
|
To start things off, I'm a 19 year old male who recently had to move back in with my parents after a pretty nasty breakup. My brother is 24 and so is his friend.
My brother had been renting a room from his friend (also my friend, I'm not just randomly moving in with him) but he never actually used the room because of a long story about his own personal stuff.
My parents' home isn't exactly what I would call luxurious, it's actually really dirty because nobody here cleans or anything, and it's too big a house for just me to be able to clean by myself. We've been riddled with financial problems, and as a result of that we don't have heat and our power got shut off for a few days. I don't believe I can stay living in a place like this.
I had talked to my brother's friend about the possibility of me moving in with him because the rent would be easy for me to afford and I know he has more than enough space for me, and he was more than willing to let me.
Around this same time, my brother stopped paying his friend for the room he was renting, and told his friend he could no longer pay for it since he doesn't think he'll ever actually move in.
I told my parents and my brother that I was moving out of their house in a couple weeks and that I would be going over to this guy's house, and I knew my parents would be slightly upset because I know they like having me around, but everyone is absolutely furious with me instead of just being upset. The reasoning? I'm "betraying my brother". My mother yelled at me for at least 3 hours, and even today she's still making time to scold me for this regularly. My dad has relatively calmed down about it because he understands, but the first thing my brother did was storm out of the house and call his friend telling him to not let me move in. When he was told that it's already decided that I'm moving in no matter what, he begged his friend to let him have the room back and not give it to me (there's multiple empty rooms so even if he got his room back, I'd still be moving in).
So now I've got 3 days before I start moving, and my own brother and mother will no longer speak to me. AITA reddit?
TLDR; Moved back in with parents, decided I want to move in with my brother's friend instead of staying here, and now everyone thinks I'm betraying my brother and nobody will talk to me
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
zIJowdx1HrEiG2nolJLO51d0NDhRLC3R
|
agyxjf
|
{
"description": "wanting to stay friendly with my ex despite being in a new relationship",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting to stay friendly with my ex despite being in a new relationship?
|
Me (f) and my current boyfriend have been in a relationship for 4 months now and he is expressing concerns about me being friendly with my ex.
Me and my ex were together for 3 years. He helped me through some tough family issues and we moved country together. The relationship started to fall apart when it became apparent that we had different life styles and aspirations for the future. This was a long process and both my ex and I lived in denial for a long time before dealing with the inevitable break up. In other words, this was a peaceful end to our relationship with no hard feelings.
The lengthy break up gave me a lot of time to think things through (Do I still have feelings for him? Would I regret leaving him? Is breaking up the right thing to do?) and I felt certain that ending the relationship was a good thing when the decision was made. I have no romantic feelings towards him anymore but I do still care about him, like you would care about a family member.
Therefore, I am still in contact with my ex.
My ex and I live in the same town and go to the same university, so I'm happy that we don't have that "typical" awkwardness between us like most people do towards their ex. I would however like to add that I don't think we have an unhealthy relationship either. We don't text regularly or hang out. I don't ask my friends to gossip about him and I try to stay out of his way as much as possible (societies, cafés I know he likes, pubs I know he frequents). Despite this, there is the occasional text (usually practical things like "Do you know where this thing is?" etc) and we do sometimes run into each other on the street/at the uni. I also used to play dnd with my ex and his old friends regularly, but decided to quit that as my current boyfriend found it uncomfortable.
My current boyfriend is however still finding it difficult to digest that I don't hate my ex.
What sparked this discussion recently was that my ex contacted me and said that he had bought me a Christmas gift. I was surprised that he had gotten me anything at all since we're not that close anymore but also appreciated the gesture. I didn't get anything for him in return, but agreed to meet up for a coffee so we could chat and I could pick up the gift. Haven't spoken to him since.
I understand my boyfriend's concerns as we haven't been together for that long and as a result have not been able to build the proper trust. Furthermore, we are currently in a long-distance relationship which puts even more pressure on trusting each other.
I don't want to ruin what we have together, but I also don't want to be a bitch towards my ex as he has done nothing wrong.
So, I want to ask you guys. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
wkhSZU94vWYDVAAoRkNksKcNlsNSwPoI
|
apeiu6
| null |
AITA But She Had A Boyfriend
|
This girl I went to school since we were little keeps giving me mixed signals. We were really good friends when we went to school up till 6th grade. I guess I asked her out on the last day of school 5th grade and never reached out bc we were too young. I start to freak out bc I never had a gf. Middle school starts and I decide to avoid her at all cost. (Why? I still don't know)
She found a new group of friends just like I did. Every time I would see her I would look away and attempt to not cross her path. I build a delusion over this girl.This would essentially go on until sophomore year.
Funny enough we would always always say happy birthday to each other via Facebook and be really good friends on the internet. Sadly, she would ghost me 2 weeks into talking.
Senior year comes. She's been in a relationship for 3 years now. My birthday comes around and conversate again. She starts talking about Prom and she would ask me which dress she looks best in. I kept thinking how lucky her boyfriend was. This time, she doesn't ghost me and we actually meet in person to talk.
We're both somewhat musicly inclined, and I knew how to play piano. She always wanted to learn how to play it. So we arrange weekly meet ups at a piano practice room in the fine arts section. The first session was fun, we both learned more about each other and had a blast learning the paino.
More talking and piano sessions pass by, she starts talking about how her life is and gets less interested in learning piano. She opened up to me and really liked talking to me. At this point I felt a connection to her. She kept bringing her boyfriend up occasionally, enough to remind me she still has one.
If weekly practice room "piano" lessons doesn't mean anything then idk what is.
Summer after graduating HS, she invites me to her local park. We walk and talk like we used to. She breifly tells me she is still with her boyfriend. Later that night, I confess EVERYTHING in my mind while still respecting her relationship. I told her I still had feelings for her. She tells me she HAD feelings for me too, but "moved" on. I tell her to leave me alone, but she still wants to be friends.
She eventually goes to a College 100 miles away from her. 2 year forward, she comes to my college for a semester. We reunite and go back to having our fun conversations. She still has this boyfriend. She knowing how I feel about her, she still comes looking for me. I stop looking for her and start to ignore her. She ignores me soon after. That year was the last time she told my Happy Birthday...
A year later she comes back, this time asking me to hangout with her. I politely declined again.
Another year passes by, she breaks up with her boyfriend, I run into her at school with my best female friend. She is completely star gazed at me and jealous as she thinks I'm dating my female friend (who has a bf of her own)
I feel she still has feelings for me too, but she has way too many guy friends. Makes me think I'm not anyone important to her...
AITA for ignoring her and cutting her off from my life?
TLDR:School crush has suppressed feelings for me like I do for her, she gets a boyfriend, I'm become good friends with her, I cut her from my life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
O2ZOYNtyj4GAI2BRjhBPYuXvBV5s5V1s
|
aftgrf
|
{
"description": "not going to help a friend trim all his weed, because I am really sick, even though hes helped me alot in the past",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to help a friend trim all his weed, because I am really sick, even though hes helped me alot in the past?
|
Okay so let me start with me being sick. Because that's important. So I suffer from a pretty sever chronic illness called gastroparesis. As well as a whole other host of stomach issues caused by it. Bassicly I have really really delayed stomach emptying. My stomach only works at a 25% rate. This causes a LOT of nausea, vomiting, and pain. I go in & out of flares. But when I'm in a flare? It feels like having the constant stomach flu. I feel 10/10 absolutely sick to my stomach from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep.
So my mom has become really good friends work a lady from work. And she kept trying to introduce me to her son. Because he got into a really bad car accident, and suffered some brain trauma. And because of that, hes disabled. He can walk and talk and everything for the most part. But he has definitely lost some of his motor skills, and some memory issues. But ours moms collectively thought we may get along, both struggling from being young & having some form of disability. So we started talking on Facebook. And hes a really nice guy. He also grows weed. (I live in northern California). I talked to him about how weed is one of the only things that makes me feel better, and he told me he has a bunch of extra laying around his house. And he dosent smoke, so I can have it. I expect it to just be like a little bit, but he brought me quite a bit. At least 4 or 5 ounces. As well as some shatter. A few weeks later, he came over to hang out, and brought me like another 4 ounces. I didnt even know he was bringing any the second time. I am VERYYYYY thankful for this. It has helped me SO much. And I've definitely let him know this. I have tried to pay him, and he wont accept it. And I never once asked for any of it.
So he grew quite a bit this year. And sense the prices are so bad, he couldnt really afford to hire trimmers. And it's just him. He asked me if I would come trim, and I told him I would be totally down to help him out. So I went and trimmed for him for a few days. He tried to pay me, and I refused it.
Ever sense Christmas, I've been in a REALLY bad flare. I've lost 20 lbs sense then, just from not being able to eat/keep down anything. He asked me if I could come trim for him yesterday. He said he needed to have a certain amount ready by Monday, and there is no way he can do it on his own. If I was able to? Hell yea I'd go help him! And i told him that. But I'm just not physically able to do anything at all right now. I can barely get out of bed.. Plus his house is a hour and a half drive away, on a windy ass road. I get SO carsick. So that, on top of already being absolutely sick to my stomach? Would be MISERABLE. I would 10000% puke the whole way. I really thought he would understand. As he knows what it's like to have a dissability that stops you from doing things. But his demeanor changed right away. He usually is very talkative with me. But started giving me like a one sentence, a couple word, answers. I asked him if he was upset with me, and he went on this huge rant about how he Is done helping other people. Because when it comes time for him to need help, nobody ever returns the favor. And how hes givin me hundreds of dollars worth of bud, and the least thing I could do is to help him trim some more. I never once lost my temper with him. I just calmly tried to explain to him, that I'm sorry, I really am, but I'm way to sick right now. I can barley get out of bed. I cant keep down any solid food. I'm dropping more and more weight each week. I barley have enough energy to function as a human, let alone go sit up and trim for 2 days straight. And he just wouldn't listen to me.
Idk if he thinks I'm lying to him or what.. I mean hear friends with me on Facebook. So he could easily see all my recent status updates for the last few weeks talking about how sick I am. I just dont know. And i honestly do feel so bad about it. I really truly do. I know he really needs help.. And he really has helped me soooo much. But I never asked him to help me. I never asked him for any of that weed. But because of the type of person I am, I can't help to feel like i am being an asshole..
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
CqpTe6CCJYM4rReORDe975OwxUZjL4Lf
|
b3mpq6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be woken up early so my guest can say goodbye",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be woken up early so my guest can say goodbye?
|
I (M20) have my friend (F21) over and she's spending the night. We're both on spring break, but she has to get up early and leave tomorrow and I don't.
By early I mean 10am, but we've both stayed up to 1 already and even though she's gone to bed at this point I plan on staying up a little later and would like to sleep in and wake up naturally. It's also worth noting that it's often hard for me to get back to sleep after waking up.
Before she went to bed, we had this conversation:
Her: Just so you know, before I leave tomorrow I'm gonna come and say bye to you.
Me: Is that necessary?
Her: Mhm
Me: I'm not sure it is.
Her: You won't be awake at 10am?
Me: Probably not.
After that she didn't say anything and just went into the guest room.
Knowing her, her plans probably haven't changed, so I locked my bedroom door in the hopes it will prevent her from waking me up.
AITA? I understand that it's nice to say goodbye but I'll see her in a couple days and I don't think it's worth me losing sleep over.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
7pEA67qzOECmEaCoXT0bSXX6y5IWwSr3
|
ayyled
| null |
AITA?
|
Watch out, this will be a long one so TL;DR at the end
(I've been really confused if im in the wrong or not but idk)
Me and my friend (we'll call her attention because text fill in told me to) go to this place for grade 6-9 can hang out and play games and cool stuff like that. We go there every wednesday since last year and never had a problem. But this time is a different story. So she came over to my house and started watching a show wgen i realized i lost my fitbit, we walked down a path to look for it and eventually founf it. We went back home, had supper and i gave her $5 (i wasn't told i had to btw) to spend on food and drinks there. When we arrive, we spend some time walking around with our taco's in a bag and trying to find something to do. Attention finds one of her friends and basically forces her to take the 2 dollars she had left that i gave her! She apologizes but i know when she means it and she didn't mean it and just kinda brushed it off like she does when she doesn't care. So we start play fighting and she spits on me (she even said it was on purpose) and so i called her a name ( she never found it offensive before and i didn't say it loudly and it was quite loud so no one could og heard me anyway) attention then says, " i'm going to hang out with my REAL friends" and walks off. I hang out with another one of my friends the rest of the night and she was supposed to ride home with me but like hell im going to offer her a ride.
*next day*
We had a skating day and we avoid eachother and don't get in eachothers way. One of my friends (that knows the situation) comes up to me and says, "attention said that she knows one of my deepest darkest secrets". The only secret i've told ger is mt crush so i knew thats what she is talking about. So basically she is now black mailing me. My friend also says that her mom now hates me but idgaf.
TL;DR
I gave my friend 5 dollars to spend even though i didn't have to, tries giving it to someone else, we playfight, she spots on me, i call her a name quietly so that only her and me can hear, and she hangs out with her "REAL" friends and blackmails me later.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
m6pHAXE48bPR23SyIBqH69322StmmeSC
|
b9h0mj
|
{
"description": "turning down a job offer",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for turning down a job offer?
|
So I am a first year college student looking for an internship. My college program offers me a diploma for Computer Programming. Our internship program is a bit odd. All the jobs posted by our college are also posted at another university that offers degrees for computer science. So what ends up happening is that most business' choose the degree students first. It is almost the end of our academic semester and only one of has a job all the way out in Alberta. Since the start of my semester, I have been conducting my own personal job search for an internship, and have applied nearly everywhere. A couple days ago my parents said they know a person who works for a company that is only a ten minute drive from my house. I e-mail the employee and he tells me about the job, saying that they often skip the diploma students, and that the work environment at the company is pretty hostile. I told my parents this and they said that I should still take the job regardless of everything that the employee said. So what I am asking here is: AITA for turning down a job offer?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
UsB9DN82TsdRgSfT4shpj6SWeIDSchJN
|
a22rc3
|
{
"description": "confronting my colleague about our overtime schedule",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA if I confront my colleague about our overtime schedule.
|
This is my first job after graduation. I’m working as a assistant engineer(AE) I’ve become the favourite between the other AE. My supervisor have been giving me overtime now every weekend to help him do some maintenance which gives me double pay that day for a few months now. Recently, one of my co-workers send out a email to my supervisor saying that the overtime schedule is unfair as I’m getting far more days of double pay compared to the rest. My supervisor have then adjusted the schedule to be fairer for the next month. I’m upset about the changes naturally. This make me feel like I’m not welcome here and have make me consider quitting the job. My co-worker has been in the company for many years more than me. I do feel kinda guilty with the schedule with the balance of overtime given before too. AITA if I confront my co-worker about the email he send or should I just quit?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
Lh0CvG7uz94QQgvlfkUio7t9DO279CfY
|
awjhwa
|
{
"description": "being reluctant of letting this friend in",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being reluctant of letting this friend in?
|
So, I have a really good friends group—we are six people (me included) and get along extremely well. We are like siblings and do lots of things together. Basically, they are my best friends, so we hang out a lot.
&#x200B;
Last year, my friend D. from our bff group became friends with someone at work and this someone (we'll call them R.) had just moved to our city at the time, so they were pretty much friendless. D. became her first friend and soon began wanting to introduce R. to the group. We were all enthusiastic about it because we love meeting new people! So R. met us at the restaurant and it went well.
&#x200B;
The thing is, R. started become really possessive of D. I'm really close with D., she is the sister I never had and we always have each other's back. R. is bipolar and a big extrovert while I have Asperger's and am an introvert. While they is really nice, it's... exhausting to be around them a lot to be honest because they talk a lot and is really loud; also, they bring everything back to themselves on a regular basis. They really are looking for validation in everything (on instagram especially) and I'm absolutely not blaming them for it!! I totally get that. But it's becoming really obsessive and crushing. They make you feel like they know everything about the world (they are gifted—aka very high IQ) and it is really annoying (I also am gifted and have a very high IQ but I don't like showing off? Idk, anyway).
&#x200B;
The thing is, a little before Christmas, we went to the restaurant just the six of us (so, the bff group) aka a normal evening of hanging out as we always do. And R. saw that I. from our bff group posted stuff on insta in their story about us hanging out and R. lost it, sent us a very aggressive message the next morning telling us they cried all night and felt rejected by us because they thought they were part of the bff gang. We felt very bad about it because we didn't mean it at all—we were just hanging out together as usual? And we saw R. a total number of maybe four times, so they didn't exactly felt part of the bff group. Also, R. has BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I feel like it doesn't help their feeling of rejection.
&#x200B;
Ever since this happened, D., who was their first friend, has been really distant with R., and R. keeps asking me about D., if she's ok, if she said stuff about them, etc. And I feel very uncomfortable and awkward because R. really sounds jealous and I don't like it one bit. They keep making things revolve around themselves and it's starting to get on my nerves.
&#x200B;
TLDR: am I the asshole for being fed up with this situation and with R.?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
MTzp0uqbsWTbxS9HYXZgTxNgBVwQAY0c
|
b1p9iy
|
{
"description": "asking my cat-loving friend to stop sending me snapchats of them",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I ask my cat-loving friend to stop sending me snapchats of them?
|
So, for context: this is a friend whom I've known for nearly a decade. We both love cats and each have a few of our own. A couple years ago I moved away from our hometown to a different state well across the country. Being in a long distance friendship where we went months without seeing each other, she would often snapchat me pictures of her cats as a conversation opener and a way to keep in touch, and I would reciprocate as well. This past summer, she ended up moving about an hour away from me for work and (unrelated) personal reasons. We now get to see each other (and each other's cats) a few times a month depending on our schedules. It's been awesome having her and her furry companions close at hand... however, the snaps of her cats have only increased in frequency to the point where I get anywhere from five to fifteen a day, every day. Often they are not really "unique" pictures (her cat laying on the bed or sitting on the couch in the same pose, day after day) and usually don't have any captions. (Or if they do, the captions are merely commenting on the cuteness of her cats.) I understand her sentiments, Reddit! I love cats passionately and she has objectively adorable cats. But it's annoying to get flooded with so many snaps... especially when I've stopped responding to them in any capacity but they haven't slowed down. I've gotten to the point where I'm sick of seeing them period. WIBTA if I asked her to stop sending the snaps altogether?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
V33vDvsutsTD6Vvxe3bAXogeBtCnYoVB
|
avcclw
|
{
"description": "going behind my family's back",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I go behind my family's back?
|
Basically I really want to move to another country and go back to school. I've done a bunch of research on what I need to do, what to study, how much money I need, etc. If things work out, I can go in maybe two-three years. It's something I'm really excited about and I'm working really hard to make it happen.
I told my parents about what I wanted to do, and they think I'm joking, telling me I'm an idiot for wanting to reach my goals, that I'll never be able to do it. Just generally trying to make me feel guilty for my dreams (and tbh, it's working..)
I've told them multiple times how serious I am, yet nothing. No support, no help. No interest in what's making me feel happy and encouraged and determined for once in my life. I'm putting so much hard work into saving as much money as possible and learning a whole new language. Yet they don't care.
So, they don't care. Fine, they don't get to know anything I'm doing. I won't tell them my progress, I won't tell them anything. I'll apply to school, apply for a visa, and do pretty much everything without them knowing. I'll take advantage of my living situation until I leave. I'm at least lucky enough that they financially take care of a lot of things for me and my siblings.
But once I can leave, I don't want to tell them until it's too late.
Am I an asshole for wanting to do that?
(And honestly, it makes me feel more motivated, like I can prove them wrong)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
h7n8nxGeyG0SJ8kaUned6bUuvlpRkIIb
|
avx7zw
|
{
"description": "hitting a kid with my bike",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hitting a kid with my bike?
|
So I was in a hurry cycling in a no car area/zone. There were a bunch of people around and I was cycling a little to fast to be honest. There was this kid on a step/scooter (not sure what you call the thing). He was heading in the same direction as me and I was looking at him to make sure I wouldn't hit him. He looked back at me, so I thought; "great he knows I'm here, that means I can safely pass him." Just before I pass him he makes a hard turn to the left -he's still looking at me- and I hit him so he hits the ground. Even if I'd have started braking when he started that turn, I still would've hit him.
His mom wasn't mad at me actually, although she did seem a little bit scared of me (I'm a big guy). But many bystanders were very angry at me. I stayed with the mother and the kid and apologized to her (and to the crying kid). But because of the other bystanders berating me, and the mother saying it was alright, I kinda fled the scene and hurried onward.
So am I the asshole for cycling too fast? Was this just a kid being a kid? Should I have apologized more or offered to help?
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
dym7nqfRJttHkyEkqAQrj1v8DeuayvWR
|
a4rsrj
|
{
"description": "not helping my middle school aged child with a school project",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not helping my middle school aged child with a school project?
|
I am a professional reddit lurker, I like to read posts, see what other people say, take the advice and move on. I now need advice and I’m not sure where I can get it so be gentle reddit. It’s long and I’m on mobile so I apologize if the formatting sucks.
Background: My step-daughter (SD)is in middle school. I’ve been step-mom since she was in preschool so our relationship isn’t newly forged. Lately, she’s been the classic moody pre-teen and has been considerably hateful to her father and I when we implement consequences for her attitude (e.g. taking her phone/computer time away, trying to implement logical consequences for her actions when we can). The big rift is that at our house, there are consequences, but at her moms house, there aren’t and her mom does everything for her - whereas at our home, she is expected to do 2 chores a day except for Saturday’s (we have her 50% of the time). This isn’t judgement, both SD and mom have confirmed this (we have a pretty good relationship at face value with mom, but she does a considerable amount of shit talking to SD about her father and I - which of course gets back to us when she thinks we are being unfair.). So everything comes down to the fact that Dad and I are mean because we don’t tolerate disrespectful behavior.
On to the story - SD has a project for school due tomorrow. She told me about it today. It was assigned last Monday. After her hour of computer time (which she was not happy that her hour was up and let that be known), she told me she can’t do it because she needs the iPad the school provides and she left that along with her binder (with all the work in it) at school. She asks for her phone - which has been a sensitive issue because she has been unable to use her phone due to her attitude (it’s a privilege not a right). I let her know that no, she can’t have her phone and asked her if she can do her project on her dads computer (which is fancy). She responded with “no I can’t it’s an app genius”
(I’m sure you can hear the snotty teenage attitude with that.
So I’m done. That statement along with her attitude about getting off her computer has me at my wits end. I said fine, I’m not going to try to help you if that’s how you’re going to speak to me.
She goes on a tirade of how it will be my fault if she fails this class. I explained to her that I didn’t leave her stuff at school. She continued on with her rant and said some pretty hateful personal stuff about me and her dad. After her rant, I simply asked her, if you can tell me why I should help you after you’ve been incredibly hateful, I would love to hear your position and perhaps change my mind about using my iPad to do your project. For an hour she blamed everyone else for her problems and took zero responsibility for her words, for leaving her supplies at school, and for waiting to the last minute to do her project.
So - am I the asshole for not letting her use my iPad to complete her school project?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
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|
RIGHT
|
ltOE49rfYxgG8Q0iCmqfovRQR7Kg6WzW
|
ag8lqa
|
{
"description": "not wanting to rehash the past",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to rehash the past?
|
Buckle up buckaroos... you’re in for a ride.
**TLDR** at bottom
I(31F) met ex(26F) AJ on a dating app (tinder)... after meeting I realized pretty quickly I wasn’t in any position for a relationship and tried to maintain a friendship. She developed feelings that only blossomed and grew from that point on.
While admittedly I did too while we were friends I knew that her addiction and my addiction past / future potential for alcoholism would have been a terrible combination.
(I started a relationship with a woman I never thought I had a chance with while we remained friends... the woman and I didn’t have similar life goals... so that didn’t last.)
Fast forward 8 months - AJ is sober. And I want her. She seems positive, engaged, driven, passionate... basically all positive attractive attributes that I love! On top of that she is superbly intelligent and we could talk about so many different things.
We get together. And BOOM - dysfunction. She remained jobless because she just graduated and was working towards “studying for her boards for her career.” ... but she didn’t. She sat at home and smoked weed and didn’t do anything productive. Then she dabbled lightly in the alcohol at first... then naturally the alcoholic in her completely lost control. I know she was depressed. In therapy working through years of abuse I wanted to be supportive. I was the only person she vented to about her abusive parents.
I drank an insane amount during the time we dated so I was horrible. I was inattentive, I was resentful, I was unhappy, I couldn’t understand how someone could be my best friend and seem like a perfect partner and then to have it fall apart so easily. I understand depression but I wanted her to snap out of it and just be the woman I knew she could be. I felt like due to her depression she was not able to be a productive person. I don’t fault her for that. So to help all of that I drank... and so did she.
Which obviously was completely toxic and terrible. We only dated 6 months which ended in an explosive break up she moves back near her abusive parents.
Fast forward a year... she find me on PlayStation while I am gaming. Initially I panic and sign off. I usually don’t keep exes in my life because it’s painful to try to have a friendship especially if things ended badly which they usually have for me.
Against my better judgment I started talking to her again via PlayStation. Now she is constantly putting me down and emotionally manipulating me trying to rehash things from the past. I absolutely do not want to do that. I would have been fine if it came up after months of playing in an adult way such as “I feel like you mistreated me and didn’t respect me... here’s why. I just want you to know.” Her approach is accusatory and lacks space for actual dialogue. It’s the blame game and I sign right up to play every time. She knows where my buttons are and pushes them all the time.
Playing video games is fine with me but every boundary I put up she pushes right through and then is shocked when I call her out. I hate this situation. I put too much emotional energy into it already, I’ve tried to be friends but it will not work. Am I the asshole because my mode of operation is to ghost people and cut them out of my life ?
**TLDR** - Ex found me on PlayStation and wants to rehash the past. Am I the asshole because I just wanted to play GTAV and not fight about who did what wrong in the past?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
uhKWC9LZ5fyVvcjwMYeN214uz2kt6FQv
|
aq26dm
|
{
"description": "screaming at my grandma",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for screaming at my grandma?
|
Yesterday my grandma picked me up from work at midnight, something that I have never asked her to do, I have no problem taking the bus home, but she insists it's dangerous at night.
I was supposed to leave at 11 PM but I had to stay a little longer. I explained to her that my boss is not an understanding person and that I can't leave when I please.
So when I get off my shift she looks at me and complains about two new acne spots. Mind that I'm taking meds for the acne and it's a lot less worse than it was years ago.
I work at a fast food as a cashier, she told me that I couldn't have acne as I worked with ingredients, I got enraged by this as I don't even touch the food and there is a girl in the kitchen with acne worse than mine. Plus, I was really tired and stressed.
I got angry and said to her in an angry tone that I didn't need her to tell me something that I already knew.
When I told her that she started screaming that I was ungrateful and that she was trying to care for me. Then she started to accuse me of things that had nothing to do with her and told me that I was rude and I didn't care for her at all.
I tried to calm her but then we got into the car and she turned on the music really high so she couldn't hear me.
Was I an asshole? I'm so confused
I'm not an native English speaker, so if you didn't understand something tell me and I'll explain it in other way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
gA79jnoee3pCxqwkIQc6DNAtkmzkONb9
|
a9r9kx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with an autistic kid from my high school",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with an autistic kid from my high school?
|
I went to middle school and high school with this autistic guy. We are now both 22 and go to separate colleges. He messages me on Instagram frequently asking to hang out. I hung out with him a few times in high school, but never alone. My friends think I should hang out with him because he’s “nice” and “harmless” but he makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel like I’m doing charity work by hanging out with him. I know that sounds bad but it just doesn’t feel genuine at all. Am I an asshole for not wanting to hang out with him? I don’t feel like I should be obligated to hang out with him because he’s autistic.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
uZmoyRWoZnrioR1FQ17mrDJ7uH51it4i
|
b5u7l6
|
{
"description": "not going to my best friends wedding",
"pronormative_score": 133,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not going to my best friends wedding.
|
So my best friend (lets call her G) has decided to have her wedding, that's awesome and I'm happy she found the one.
The issue is G never sent out save the dates, meaning last week we got the actual wedding invitations for a wedding that is happening in 1 month.
It will be at her grandmother's Ranch and it seems like a pretty nice wedding.
here is where the issue started.
a few months ago me and 3 friends decided to plan a trip to Australia to backpack/sightsee for 2 weeks, the trip starts 2 days before the wedding so we can't go. G knew about the trip as we invited her but I'm geussing she forgot.
she is mad at all of us for not just cancelling the trip and being at her wedding.
all of us are not super rich so this would be a huge loss if we cancelled the trip. (so we are not)
I also want to add that she invited 50 people, I asked. and only 20 can make it as she gave 1 month notice.
she is flipping her shit and acting like we should drop everything for her.
AITA for not just cancelling my 2 week trip to go to her wedding?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 130,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 133,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
fRVFcj102czkCE6Lsg9kLsM3ALhBPlVB
|
an5b7u
|
{
"description": "asking my stepdaughter to give a curtsey knock before she walks into the house",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
WIBTA for asking my stepdaughter to give a curtsey knock before she walks into the house
|
Quick background. My husband has two children (stepdaughter 15 and stepson 13) with his ex-wife and she has two children from a relationship before she met him. My stepson lives with me and my husband and my stepdaughter lives with her mother. We get stepdaughter every other weekend.
Ex-wife’s oldest son (OS) got his license about six months ago and ever since, he and stepdaughter have taken to driving around and stopping by our house randomly. They also are doing all the pick-up and drop offs for ex-wife when it’s her weekend to have stepson. The problem is that OS and stepdaughter never knock when they stop by. They just walk into the house. They have almost walked in on my husband naked (stepson was at a friend’s), did walk on me wrapping stepdaughters Christmas gifts and have scared the crap out of me several times because I walk into people just standing in my living room when I thought no one else was home.
I want to ask my husband to have his daughter at least knock to let us know someone is there before she walks in. I’m nervous about it because in the past he has accused me of not understanding what it’s like to have divorced parents (true). We got into a huge argument when he went behind my back and gave stepdaughter a key to our house several years ago. My thought process was that she had no need for a key because there has never been a time that she was at our house with no one home (husband always picks her up for his weekend visits). Also, ex-wife goes through a lot men and they always wind up living with her for a while. Before OS got his license, these random men would be the ones picking up and dropping off stepson to our home. I didn’t feel comfortable with a key to our house being accessible to these people we didn’t know. Husband said it wasn’t fair that stepson had a key (he lived with us and needed one) and stepdaughter didn’t. It was her house too. I still don’t think “fair” is a good enough reason but whatever.
Now, I just want to know if I would be as asshole if I asked my husband to talk to stepdaughter about knocking first. I don’t mean that she has to wait for us to answer the door, but just as a warning that someone is coming into the house. My husband is very sensitive about anything to do with his kids. If the consensus is that I’m an asshole, I just won’t bring it up at all and avoid the conflict.
Being a stepparent isn’t always easy, I don’t want to be the “evil” stepmom but I also think that it should be ok to have boundaries.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 26,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 26
}
|
WRONG
|
xD90EmC4fJXpFBRZ7Th5W4gCz14uC24v
|
atycdb
|
{
"description": "never wanting to drive when my husband and I go out",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for never wanting to drive when my husband and I go out?
|
The main reason for this is that while my husband works from home, I commute 5 days a week. We live in a downtown area and traffic can get pretty bad. Once I’m home after work or on the weekends, the last thing I want to do is get back in my car.
To clarify, if we’re going somewhere that’s at my request, I’ll drive if my husband doesn’t want to. Or if he’s planning on drinking, I’ll drive us home. But he drives probably 90% of the time we go somewhere. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
HWJNejfSJW9jH97HVg28cFfakCroAiR9
|
astgq4
|
{
"description": "feeling how I'm feeling",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for feeling how I'm feeling?
|
A bit of background: I've had a bit of an odd social life - in high school, I had my group of friends, but we weren't very popular (or at least I wasn't). I recently started university, and I started to open up, and this brought a bunch of new opportunities, including my first case of friends with benefits. We started hanging out right when second semester started in January, and we've been seeing each other like twice a week since then. We'll call her Sarah from now on.
&#x200B;
Both Sarah and I don't want a relationship, but recently she's been asking me more about how I'd feel if she slept with other people. At first, I was accepting of it, but over time, I've realized I can't really deal with it, and I expressed my concerns and asked why we couldn't keep it exclusive for the time being. This was met with a somewhat angry reaction from her, and thus leading to us having a small falling out. I'm mostly worried about both my safety and hers, as if she has multiple partners, that would put me at the same risk as her for contracting an STD. Also, I feel like if she sees other people, I will be seen as unnecessary, thus making me lose a friend as well. She doesn't seem to understand this, and thinks I'm being selfish about it. She thinks that I'm being a restraint for her sexual ventures.
&#x200B;
Despite this, I still want to be her friend, but the idea of her sleeping with other people stings right now and I don't know how I should handle it. Reddit, AITA for not feeling comfortable with this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
1xRIgG2ByrePg4PBpaAyhW8Ma2hkOV85
|
ak0zkc
|
{
"description": "telling my waitress's manager she did a great job",
"pronormative_score": 417,
"contranormative_score": 745
}
|
AITA for telling my waitress's manager she did a great job?
|
Not a clickbait title, that's actually what happened. I got called an asshole for it, so now I have come here out of curiosity for you fine people to help settle the disagreement.
I met a girl online and we clicked, and have gone on a couple dates. Two nights ago was our third date and I was treating her to dinner at a local burger place in the city. Nothing fancy, I just wanted some good conversation over a tasty meal. This girl is a knockout, has the rare quality of being a great listener, and isn't obsessed with herself. She's funny, charming, and smart. We had had several great dates and I was getting close to asking her to be my girlfriend. She is also the one who called me an asshole before the night was done (not her exact words, but we'll get there.)
Our waitress for dinner was great. Actually enthusiastic and friendly, on point with the refills, and just top notch service all around. At one point in the evening she did spill a partially-full glass of water on our table, but it wasn't really her fault because she had gotten bumped into, and she was very quick to apologize and wipe the table dry with a smile on her face, so if anything that was a point in her column.
At the end of the meal, she brought the check and I told her I would like to speak with her manager. She asked if there was something wrong, and I calmly repeated that I would like to speak with her manager and could she please go get him. She leaves and reappears with the manager a few moments later, and I proceed to tell him that we had gotten *excellent* service that night, and that (her name) was one of their best. He thanked me for the feedback and she also looked very happy at the compliment and thanked me.
The only one not happy was my date. She said, "If that was supposed to impress me, it didn't." and said that I was full of myself. She didn't say much else as we gathered our things to leave and there was no kiss at the door that night. I texted her saying I was sorry for whatever I did wrong and that I'd like to see her again soon, so far no response.
So pardon my french, but what the fuck?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 735,
"OTHER": 377,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 40,
"INFO": 8
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 417,
"WRONG": 745
}
|
WRONG
|
l7C4QNa0ddYlO7YSJ2MxGDhQNrIE1sZw
|
aph7ye
|
{
"description": "going to hr because my cubicle mate refused to stop calling his girlfriend a racist nickname in front of me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AitA for going to HR because my cubicle mate refused to stop calling his girlfriend a racist nickname in front of me?
|
I am 1/4 Filipina because my grandfather met my grandmother when he was in the navy. I acknowledge I’m a Hapa but I identify very much with my heritage.
I work at a large staffing agency and we have to share cubicles with one other person. I despise my cube mate. We don’t get along and I think he looks down on me because I’m a woman and I get sick of the way he talks to me. I also think he’s a closet racist because I see him watching clips on his phone from shows known to be racist.
We’ve had a major problem over the last two weeks because he started dating this girl who’s real name is Sandy. Whenever he calls her or she stops by he calls her “San-San.” In my grandmothers part of the Philppines that is a deeply, deeply racist term used against the people who didn’t accept Spanish and American imperialism. It essentially is like calling someone dumb, backwards and provincial.
I told him right away that the term bothered me. He said it’s his girlfriend’s nickname and he was only referring to her. I told him it’s still unacceptable to use that term around me or ever really. He told me he’d try to check himself. Well not only did he not, he actually got worse and started saying it multiple times a day. I told him on Friday I was going to HR if he did it again. Well this morning he did so I went strait to HR. Good chance he may be fired (he’s had other issues too).
My floor is pretty much split on whether or not I did the right thing or if I was just being an over sensitive asshole. What is your judgment? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
WRONG
|
zUMeiwsZFgCUtCsYq26knRRLAFcTFFBH
|
app7rb
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend because I've lost interest in her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because I've lost interest in her?
|
So I've (15M) been going out with a girl (15F) for about 6 months with a separation of about 3 weeks in the middle of it. I know it's getting near Valentine's day and I don't exactly want to break it to her during or after the holiday so I decide to do it about 3 hours ago.
At first it seemed like a normal conversation but after about 4-5 messages I laid it out there with the much expected, "I'm sorry." This hurt her feelings quite a bit so me being me I try to cheer her up and she gives a tone of, "I love you but you don't love me!" I continued to try and help and tell her it'd be fine and she'd find someone.
I also told her not to ruin my reputation because my best friend is her cousin and he gets very mad very easily. Another friend of mine is going out with her best friend and he has almost cooked me to death because I jokingly said, "Don't leave me alone he'll kill me!" She said she wouldn't because no-one would ask.
When I told her I had lost interest in her she continued to say things like, "You've treated me like a game this whole time?" And, "I'm sorry I couldn't keep you interested." I continued to tell her it wasn't her fault and that she would find someone else because she deserved better than me (I barely talk to her when we see each other at school, definitely an asshole for that, but this post is about the breakup). We finally ended the conversation with me saying that I still loved her just not intimately, and that I hoped we could still be friends. She had the tone of, "Yeah, yeah. Keep on lying," even though it was the honest to God truth.
Please tell me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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