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|
9um54f
|
{
"description": "accidentally ignoring guy at gym",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for accidentally ignoring guy at gym?
|
This happened earlier this week. I was working out at the gym with my brother and a couple of our friends. For context, we have known and worked out with these guys for years. Anyways, as I’m finishing a set, a guy that I have spoken to in the gym many times before walks up to me and we start talking. While we are chatting, I hear one of the friends that we are lifting with call my name. I turn around, he asks me a question, I answer it, and I turn back around. Only now the guy I was chatting with is walking away from our group. I kind of feel bad about the situation, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
oqgd1mnBIc9qgfA00tFtSXQzIpYyKMkq
|
anji8m
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to prom",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to go to prom
|
Title sums it up pretty well, but I will give a little context nonetheless.
I (17m) am a introvert. I don’t like dances, parties or anything of that sort, hence why I don’t want to go to prom. I just like to hang around and do my own thing. I think prom is not really worth much and it’s not really that big of a deal so I just don’t want to go.
My parents think otherwise.
They want me to go to prom very badly and every time I do tell them they are like “just go for the experience and the memories, you’re just being an asshole for not wanting to go and socialize and have a ‘good time’.” Which makes me feel guilty because they probably want the memories and pictures from prom and I’m denying them that.
So Reddit, AITA for not wanting to go to prom?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yNx2Hynj0id2fh8ETy6wN4S3w8Z2AnjW
|
b1yt0l
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to prom with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to prom with my girlfriend?
|
We're both juniors in high school and this is the first prom we've been allowed to go to. I really don't want go because I don't like crowds or dancing, but my girlfriend has wanted to go since she was a little girl, so I'm being forced to go to make her happy. I've complained a lot about going, saying it won't be fun and that it's a waste of time/money, but I try not to think about it because I don't want to make her upset. All I want to do is get my suit and her flowers, show up at her house and go, but she insists on talking about every little detail.
Every time she talks about it, I ask her to stop, but she won't, asking me stuff like, "Why don't you want to go?" or even worse "Do you want me to go with someone else?" This cause me to get upset and angry, and I sometimes get a little out of hand and say things I regret later, like that I don't care if she goes with someone else.
The worst part is, I wouldn't be as annoyed and pissed off as I am if I knew I wouldn't have to do it again next year.
Everyone I've talked to tells me to suck it up and stop being a jerk. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
Y5UQ5SbMDAC8tv4eNheeEXY1HHFzpVcT
|
ari6u2
|
{
"description": "being annoyed because my girlfriend sleeps about 70% of the time I see her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being annoyed because my girlfriend sleeps about 70% of the time I see her?
|
My girlfriend of about a year sleeps pretty much most of the time I go to see her. She has thyroid disease and I’m pretty sure that makes her sleep more, but it just kinda irks me whenever I go over and she sleeps. I haven’t said anything to her about it, I haven’t called her out on it because that would be really insensitive and it’d be an asshole move. But internally it just kinda makes me demotivated to see her and kinda annoys me. Especially, ill get home after she slept the whole time and I’ll usually hop on my computer to relax and play some games with some buddies (we talk on discord) and she’ll want to FaceTime which makes me have to end the call with my buddies. Again, I haven’t verbally said anything to her, I wouldn’t want to be insensitive to her medical condition, it’s just something that annoys me. AITA for feeling this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
XJVvnmf1LQSdkEa4ArURcLUxfBM7IDKj
|
9z4x9y
|
{
"description": "driving all the way down to the end of a merge lane",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA if I drive all the way down to the end of a merge lane?
|
Say it's heavy traffic and the lane I'm in is ending. Am I wrong for driving to the end of that lane in order to get a little further ahead even though I may have passed up opportunities to merge in a little further back?
My gut says I am the asshole, but technically I'm not doing anything illegal or out of line, right?
This might be location dependent, so I'll just say I'm in the Maryland-DC-Virginia area on the US East Coast.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
rQH0K0aVdHOTACX48tPsdEzPETPMVT8s
|
ak5pam
|
{
"description": "trying to drive my asshole coworker crazy",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA For trying to drive my asshole coworker crazy?
|
Im 22, hes 47, we both work the same position in an office together selling insurance.
He arrives to work late constantly, holding up everyones work. Im talking an hour late somedays. Ive had to stay late multiple times to cover his fuck ups. He purposely starts needless political arguments that put the office on edge. Our boss wont discipline him.
Ive been trying to drive him crazy in retaliation. I take things from his desk, small things that arent expensive but that he uses everyday like pens and staplers. He keeps thinking he misplaced them.
When its his chore day I tell him that ill take over doing the office chores today like taking out the trash, and then when the trash piles up and he gets blamed ill say that i never said what i said. He eventually chalks it up to his 'bad memory'.
Ill steal his lunch out of the fridge and when he asks where it went ill tell him i didnt see him with lunch today.
Ive been doing shit like for two months, partly out of revenge and partly because its funny. My mom says im not respecting my elders but i think respect is earned not given. What do you think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
Gn7qI2Mt821kSGsQzIDFBkx8CwUzEr05
|
ayyvrw
|
{
"description": "yelling at a noisy family at the movies",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for yelling at a noisy family at the movies?
|
A couple of weeks ago, a few of my friends and I went to see the Lego Movie 2 in theaters. Almost as soon as the movie started, a row or two in front of me a young child, maybe 3 years old judging by his voice, began screaming. His Parents shushed him and calmed him down, which was a relief.
About 5 minutes later he started screaming again. Same thing, his parents calmed him down again.
This repeats over and over, every few minutes throughout the movie. Each time I get angrier, but I keep it together. I look to my friend next to me each time this happens, and see that he is annoyed as well.
About two thirds of the way through the movie the kid starts screaming again and I can't take it anymore.
I yell "YOU'RE RUINING THE MOVIE" in hopes that one of the parents would finally remove the child from the theater.
This was the first and only time I have yelled at anyone in a movie theater. In the past, any time I experienced a noisy child in a movie theater, their parents were quick to take them outside to keep them from ruining everyone else's enjoyment.
During the rest of the movie, they try to quiet their kid down by playing a movie on their phone at FULL BRIGHTNESS AND FULL VOLUME. To be fair, it did keep the kid quiet. But it still completely ruined the experience for me.
As soon as the movie ended and we began to leave, the mother glared at my friends and I (I assume she didn't know which of us yelled at her).
Outside the theater, my friends are all mad at me. They say that the kid was a minor inconvenience but not a big deal, and my visceral reaction ruined the end of the movie for them.
I get that it's a kids' movie, but I still don't think it's acceptable to ruin the movie for everyone else because you don't want to take your kid outside. Everyone else payed $14+ for the movie and it seems really self centered and rude to think that your kid being in the movie theater is more important than other people's enjoyment.
I know I didn't handle it in the most mature or effective way, but I still believe that I was justified in yelling at them. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
GXzQw7JPIHF7qBdGcYDknAHw3Ez7BpBt
|
at8d53
| null |
AITA bridesmaid vs bride
|
This is an old friend (10+ years) and she was a bridesmaid at my wedding. She is one of those rare self centered people that actually have good hearts, but are handicapped by their complete lack of awareness for the needs of others. She's getting married in July and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I expected that this would involve helping out with setup, logistics, etc, as she is trying to save some money on her wedding. The only issues are 1) I don't get vacation time at work, so taking days off means I lose full day's salary, limiting my participation, and 2) I live 2.5 hours away from her, so any event requires me taking a full day off work, plus about $40 gas round trip.
Yesterday she emailed me the schedule for the wedding week - first red flag is that it's 5 pages long. I read it through and discovered she has me scheduled to make 35 (!) flower arrangements the night before the wedding, ehich is ambitious to say the least. She also said I can't sit with my husband (who knows no one at the wedding except me and her) since she wants pictures of the wedding party eating dinner together, and that she wants us to stay to help with tear down afterwards until 11pm. Again, we live 2.5 hours away.
This is probably the time I should mention that I'm spending minimum 600 just to attend her events. 150 for the dress, 120 for gas for 3 separate events, a destination bachelorette party with mandatory spa day (300 estimate for my share), plus whatever gift we give her (probably 100-200). We're staying with my parents the night before but cant the night of the wedding. Renting a hotel room is not something we can really afford on top of all the other costs (I didn't even count the lost wages for the days I'll need to take off, which will be around 300). So I emailed her that I would be leaving the wedding around 930 pm so we can get home without risking falling asleep on the road after a 14 hr wedding day (we start at 730 am). She immediately emailed back and said that she really is counting on her wedding party to help keep costs down and help her family clean up after the party. I couldn't attend her engagement party and wedding dress shopping last year because I couldn't spare the days off work and she was quite upset with me, so she sees this as me not stepping up to my duties as BM again.
Here's why I feel salty as well as guilty - she was my bridesmaid and didn't show to my bridal shower or bachelorette, and I cut her major slack because hello, she lives 5 hours away round trip. People have lives, I get it! I never minded her not coming. She sat with her bf at my wedding (no problem), left my wedding early (no problem) and didn't help with clean up (no problem). Now there is this double standard where I'm a bad friend because I'm drawing the same boundaries because of distance and/or cost.
Here's the clincher - it's HER wedding, it's HER day. AITA forsaying I'd help and then putting limits on my help?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
68iJeLzn3hYXxwybzDpSRjOhR2chCLve
|
ay4du5
|
{
"description": "asking my friend to pay for her meal",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my friend to pay for her meal
|
This has been bothering me for a few months now
I've been friends with this girl from high school through most of university, we eventually drifted apart a little bit before she graduated.
We run into each other on the street a couple years later while walking dogs and she says its been a while we should catch up, i concur.
A couple days later i send her a text saying we should go out and get ice cream and catch up she says she'll think about it, about a week later she says we should head to a restaurant for lunch.
Next day we are at the restaurant, good times are had all round. the bill shows up and it turns out she purchased a more expensive meal than me, so i tell her how much her bill is.
She laughs, she thinks i'm joking, i laugh along with her but let her know i'm being serious, her laughter eventually dies down and she asks me if i'm serious. then says "whenever i go any where with guys they usually pay".
To be sure she did not mistake this as a date and we are indeed on the same page, i ask and yes she did not think this was a date but still expected me to pay, then she says " if i knew i was paying i would've bought something cheaper".
Apparently she also didn't bring any money with her and couldn't use her card for some reason so she asks me to pay promising to send me the money when she gets home as well as asking me to send my account details. I agree, i never really minded paying.
Little bit of an awkward hiccup but the rest of the meeting is pretty okay, we promise to stay in touch and continue the conversation when we go home.
Skip to a couple weeks later, shes routinely ignoring my messages and given poor responses so i decide to get her attention by sending my account details along with a joke, i receive one of these " 🙄 " and that was the last message i ever got from her, been about 5 months since.
I've asked multiple people about this and so far the responses are pretty mixed. So am i the asshole?
TLDR; hung out with a friend, asked her to pay, still paid and am now being ignore by said friend
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
kZcuWh4fhUVf42bsA3bW051Jla38W8V6
|
b5lqrj
|
{
"description": "not eating food past its expiration date",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not eating food past its expiration date?
|
Sounds like a typical validation post, but hear me out.
My boyfriend and I have the same conflict about many different types of food. I have a much lower limit to what I still eat or what I throw out.
Example: We had a loaf of bread that had a tiny bit of mold on it. My boyfriend persists we should only cut it out and eat the rest still, but toasted. I feel uncomfortable doing that because I've been taught differently, so I usually say "If you like it, you can eat it, but I will get a new loaf."
That often makes him quite mad, he's telling me that I get to eat all the fresh foods while he has to eat the stale, half mouldy stuff. He doesn't actually have to, but he doesn't want to throw anything away, either.
Am I the asshole here? We bicker about this way too often and I'd love a judgement on our case.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IM1I9kdHAM27wXrxq2WKZbcCK6T1FslW
|
amoptk
|
{
"description": "telling my friends upfront that I won't be bringing back gifts from my travel",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friends upfront that I won't be bringing back gifts from my travel?
|
I am going to a foreign country to have a medical procedure done because even with the cost of travel, room, and food it's cheaper there. This won't have me bedridden so I do have the physical capacity to shop for gifts.
​
A lot of my friends have expressed interest in that country previously. When I told them I would be going there to do the procedure, many of them got excited and asked me to bring back X and Y. Some of them offered to pay, some did not. It's not about the money for me, I just find gift shopping to me stressful, I have limited luggage space, and limited time. Instead of telling them that I'd try, I just told them straight up that I wasn't going to be bringing back any gifts and gave the reasons that I listed. Most of them seemed very upset at my response.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JIGygGJUnBD9QcSu4GIRsfG0lFZBOL55
|
aj5r7d
|
{
"description": "expecting help",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
Aita for expecting help?
|
Background - married 10+ years, 8 year old child. This pattern has been on repeat for a while. We both work full time. I do morning drop off, she picks up after school. I do 100% of the cooking, most of the cleaning, helping with homework. Overall, easily 75% of the normal required household stuff is on me. I bring it up and hear that it's not true. When I point out that I'm often up doing chores - cooking, dishes, etc - while she's on the couch I'm told that she's not a mind reader, if I want help I should ask. It doesn't change, and when I blow up about it, she tells I'm passive aggressive.
Am I wrong to think she should be offering to help out and that it's not my responsibility to ask?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KJEl2ySaIScoTAu5g8y1pfnwVKRGlT0u
|
ax01ha
|
{
"description": "going abroad as a group without one member because he had tests he needed to retake",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going abroad as a group without one member because he had tests he needed to retake?
|
So I'm in this sticky situation in which we as a group went abroad without 1 of the group (we are 5) because that one person had tests he didn't do well on during the exam period and therefore needed to retake during the very short between-semeter break we have.
So that's the bottom line. Furthermore, one of us asked him before we started planning if he'd be against us going, cause we felt bad going without his permission. He, without a doubt said we should go and not worry about this.
Now we did go, and that friend is pissed at us. I'm a very good friend of his, so I obviously care. But, I'm not sure if we really did wrong by going? I told him before his exams started that if he needed help I'd love to help, to which he said thanks and that he'll manage, and I said I'm here to support. But I don't think that or anything else makes me morally obliged to stay. I was willing to stay and help had he needed my help, but I felt me staying 3 hour drive away from him while he takes the tests is... Kinda useless, and only makes us, the friends, bored.
I'm truly asking for feedback to ask if I'm in the wrong here, and I've let him down as a friend or if he's being pissed over something he shouldn't be. Thanks guys, don't be too harsh just honest and suggest tips to help mend the situation! <3
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
U0wYj4fnFeaQMqDe8IZsI1xNXmit2qKv
|
ba23ou
|
{
"description": "being upset with my girlfriend for how she sleeps while on her period",
"pronormative_score": 78,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being upset with my girlfriend for how she sleeps while on her period?
|
So my girlfriend lives with me, and on the average month has a 2-3 bad days of cramps and she's through, but every few months, it's a solid week of begging for death and a red-running Niagara Falls. Now, I understand all women get this for the most part, it's a part of nature. Hell, theoretically 1 in 8 people are having a period at any given time. Shes usually VERY accommodating and understanding when her hormones cause her to lash out. But on those bad months, I just cannot sleep with her. She always feels the need to sleep without pants, shes usually without pants in general, but not just pantsless, no, full commando. When shes on her period, she doesn't wear a pad, because how could she? She just pops a tampon in and hopes for the best. Surely enough, every time, my sheets look like a scene out of a murder mystery because it overflowed the tampon. Now, this wouldn't be a problem if not for the fact she works mornings, meaning she wakes up 30 minutes before she has to leave and just leaves it there. She says she'll take care of it when she gets home, but its blood, it'll be completely soaked in by then. I admittedly haven't asked her about wearing a pad to bed, but frankly, I'm tired of having to wake up at 7 am to clean blood out of the sheets and having to run to the store for more bleach.
I just can't stand sleeping in a pool of shredded uterus juice and then having to clean it because she can't recognize that she should wear better prevention.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 77,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 78,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
Pm1HDS1QMMzAse1ThXI9dbfbxqFAd8ZK
|
alpnv9
|
{
"description": "ruining someone's filming",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 41
}
|
AITA for ruining someone's filming?
|
I was walking back home today when someone with a camera was filming a video of sorts on the pavement. As I was walking one person somewhat rudely gestured at me to walk on the road for a few meters (essentially used her hands to aggressively point to the road) so I can go around the filming. This pissed me off as 1. They didn't have any right to occupy the pavement 2. They were rude about it. Because of this I intentionally walked in front of the camera and ruined there take.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 29,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 41
}
|
WRONG
|
N7u9VuHlh8wwZYED95Cg8X1mCyXiCva8
|
avb3es
|
{
"description": "not listening to my mother's motivational tapes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not listening to my mother’s motivational tapes
|
In the last few years my mother has become increasingly invested in spirituality, and I totally support her methods for finding guidance and happiness. In fact, I’ve even participated in a few of her practices, like visiting a spiritual leader. Other times I’m not interested, or think what she’s doing is bogus, but I’ve never attacked her beliefs. More recently though she’s started seeing a woman who has been assisting her through life and I’m honestly happy she’s improving herself every day. However recently she was given a couple motivational tapes to listen to and she’s been pressuring me to listen to them as well. I tried telling her I’m not interested, and I don’t feel lost in anyway that would entice me to look for advice. She told me the people who need to listen are those who think they aren’t lost but actually are. After continuing to push me I begrudgingly accepted but when she noticed I wasn’t really paying attention she turned it off and angrily walked away.
Am I the asshole? I understand they’ve helped her a lot but I don’t think this format of self improvement works for me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CXMhvylEiGGutXFsrdXWLxVMNCGfocZ3
|
b3q26r
|
{
"description": "telling the person sitting in front of me on an airplane not to recline their seat because it's only an hour flight",
"pronormative_score": 100,
"contranormative_score": 129
}
|
AITA for telling the person sitting in front of me on an airplane not to recline their seat because it’s only an hour flight?
|
I’m 6’5 and travel a lot for work. I’m constantly flying and usually am able to get emergency exit seats but this flight was full. I had a 55 minute flight on one of those little planes that you take a ramp and stairs to get into. The seats are small and my legs don’t fit as it is, plane is full, and 5 minutes into takeoff, the person in front of me (male, mid 30s,5’8) reclines his chair all the way back ruining any hopes of a comfortable flight.
I politely asked him if he could move his seat back up since it’s less than an hour flight and he started giving me attitude telling me it wasn’t his issue and he finds the seats more comfortable arched back. I told him I was 6’5 and didn’t have leg space as it was. These arguments went back and forward for about a minute until a flight attendant had to come in and ask him to move it back. He finally moved his seat back up but he seemed genuinely mad that I had asked him to for more space and a flight attendant ended up siding with me. It’s been bothering me all day, so now I want to know,
TLDR; AITA for asking a random person to move their seat up on a 55 minute plane ride because I didn’t have leg space?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b7vc2l
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"description": "getting my neighbor put on administrative leave and almost fired after she slept with me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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AITA for getting my neighbor put on administrative leave and almost fired after she slept with me?
|
Okay so this happened 4 years ago and honestly I still don't know if what I did was right.
I was getting my mental health services from an organization called RVS in Middletown CT and my upstairs neighbor in my apartment complex I was living in worked on the same campus but a different organization called CVH in a detox unit. My neighbor who we'll call Serena confessed that she had feelings for me and that she thought I was cute. One day, a few days before my 21st birthday she knocked on my door and said she was going out and asked if I wanted anything. I said no. Later that night when she came home I found a box of chocolate and a card inviting me up to her apartment for coffee the next day. So I go up to her apartment for coffee and we chat for a little bit and the she asks if she can kiss me. I said yes and then she orders us lunch. At like 8 pm it's getting late but she wants to have sex with me. I said yes, only because I was getting over a really bad break up. A few days later I tell a few of my "friends" in confidence about the encounter and it gets out so an investigation is launched and she's almost fired. AITA for almost getting her fired?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9tpjm6
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"description": "ending a friendship over selfish actions and things I find rapey",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
AITA For ending a friendship over selfish actions and things I find rapey?
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Ok so me and my friend became friends when I was in 10th grade and he was in 9th grade. We had gotten along quite well and grew close, but I have graduated recently and moved away 2 and a half hours away. Well we had planned for me to pick him up, and him come down and our mutual friends would come later and we'd go to the beach.
Well we get here, and he's alright we shoot the shit and get along. A few day passes and everyone else shows up to my house, and we go to the beach. We have a party there for 12 hours during the last 5 hours sober up and come home. At the beach he started to punch himself hard \*he's slightly bipolar\* and he's doing this in front of kids who then scream and run away. I go to help him, but I'm kind of fucked up, so when I approached I was going to be friendly. But when I got to him I was just like this is ridiculous. I know he has slight problems, but I knew him and couldn't seem to justify that self harm and making a scene in front of kids.
Things are now tense and we go home. I try to lighten the mood, but we would just start arguing. We are now home, and I lie in the bath to chill. While I'm chilling he comes in the bathroom without knocking and goes "hey I'm going to mcdonald's you want anything?" This causes my ears to perk up because he is broke. His dad gave him 40 for money to give me for gas and to buy him food over the week. At that time I was like "where did you find the money?" to which he informs me my wallet. He then ask if it's his. At the time I was like no it's my money for bringing you here and taking care of you. I'll need the money for gas to take him back. It wasn't till afterwards I realized that that meant he went through my wallet and took money on the hunch it was his.
This annoys me, but he's a bit of a airhead so I roll my eyes and try to carry on. Later in the night he makes himself a mixed drink by himself. I was sure that day to make sure no one got too messed up, so I saw he had one drink and thought that was ok. No after 10 mins he couldn't even stand up without falling almost knocking over the tv. He must have added 6 shots to his mixed drink. I smelt what was left, and it was bad. Then the rest of the night he was throwing his body around, talking in whispers saying how he should kill himself, and being really touchy feely with other people at the party who were uncomfortable about him. Me and my girlfriend try to get him to go to sleep because he was knocking shit over at our apartment and breaking shit.
After getting him in the room he would come out every 5 mins almost knock something down be anxious, and say that me and everyone else was over reacting. We finally get him to go to sleep, and we end the bad day. Things got worse the next day once people lead me on what they had to deal with.
One of my friends go hey you know how we didn't want to share a room with him it was because he seemed rapey. All the girls said they got that vibe which I did too, but then I was informed by one of them that at the start of the day he was hoping once one of these girls got drunk they would finally sleep with him. He had been trying to get with this girl, but every time she had given him a hard hard hard no. But he was hoping that she would get drunk then he would try really hard to sleep with her. This didn't feel right with me especially after the night where he tried to get close to any girl at the party.
I was then informed that they walked into on him just hitting her vape and hide it. This is after she hit this one guys vape because he saw it on the ground, and he said that that's not cool because it's expensive. To which once he said that he took one more hit and tried to hit it as hard and as long as he could. This made this guy made, but he ignored it.
Everyone wants him to leave early , but no one wanted to have him in the car. No one really wanted to do anything for him. Me and my girlfriend were the only one who would. Now that we aren't friends I see that he's just a moocher. He would try to drink any booze you have, try to get all of my unmentionables. All this without a thank you. I put up with him, and he stays the rest of the time there's still fighting he tries to drink more alcohol to which I said no because he said he didn't even remember anything from the last time he got drunk. We take him home, and I informed him he'll be welcome back if he gets help and stops being dependent on drugs and alcohol to stay happy and actually go get help for his bipolarity.
Today he messages our group chat barging about how he has a job and such. Then he starts to say he's got some freshmen hoes to which he tells me are 13 14, and he's 17 and a half. He basically goes hey want to smoke weed in hopes of them sleeping him. He then brags about how the 13 year old then gave him a blow job. I inform him that in this state that is statutory rape and said "she's too young to know what she wants and only wants to do that so you keep giving her drugs." He shrugs it off going he doesn't know that that was considered rape, so "It's whatever.". I bring up about the basic rape claim at the party to which he said he wouldn't consider that as rape if he got her drunk enough and got her to say yes. He was just being very scummy. I refuse to let him make me drop it, and he gets mad I say that's kinda what a rapist would say because he said he just wants to get laid doesn't matter how. He leaves the group chat and tells me that "I'm just going to be on my own now." I then go oh fine then go ahead. He then says "wow you're going to throw our friendship away like that." Then he blocked me and here we are.
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In short I had a greedy friend who did some creepy rapey things. I confront him he gets mad. Says "I'm just going to be on my own now." I say ok he accuses that as throwing away our friendship. AITA
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "calling someone a dick for not wanting to befriend me unless I have sex with him",
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AITA for calling someone a dick for not wanting to befriend me unless i have sex with him?
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For context, I am in an open relationship with my partner.
A few months back I was looking into hooking up with someone I met off tinder, we can call him Tyler. I gave him my phone number. We chatted a bit and he said that he would be okay with a friendship or a FWB situation. Okay, cool. I start making plans to meet up with him to have sex. Then I get into a car accident and I didn't really speak to him for a good month or so while dealing with the aftermath until he contacted me again. We spoke maybe once every few weeks after that, just mundane stuff, but it began to become clear that he was not in a very good place mentally. He still seemed like an okay person who had some of the same interests that I do, so I was open to the idea of a friendship.
Earlier this week, I hooked up with a completely unrelated dude off tinder. I then decided that I probably would just stick to sleeping with my partner.
Tyler messages me today asking if we can meet up. I tell him that I am no longer interested in a FWB situation, but if he would like to get to know me as a friend I would be cool with that. He said that he was "antisocial and would not be at all comfortable being friends without benefits" because he was uncomfortable around people in general.
Now I was a bit tipsy at the time and this sort of raised some flags, and normally I would have just not responded. I told him that what he basically said was that he would refuse to associate with me unless we had sex, which is kind of a dick move considering that he said that he was open to a friendship prior, and that I wasn't sure that I wanted to associate with him anymore regardless.
He went on to say "come back and talk to me when everyone in your life has abandoned you. Don't even pretend to know my situation". I told him that I hoped that he would seek professional help and that his circumstances did not change the fact that he was being kind of a dick. He then said "I said that we could be friends before, and you're taking it personally that I changed my mind and calling me a dick without trying to understand my situation" to which I said "I have every right to take it personally. Like I said, I hope you seek professional help. Please don't try to contact me again" and then blocked his number.
I feel like he legitimately does not understand the consequences of his actions, but is a legitimately toxic person. Was I an asshole in the way I handled this situation?
(I'm still not fully sober so if some of that didn't make sense I do apologize)
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "saying Taiwan is a country to my chinese roommate",
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|
AITA for saying Taiwan is a country to my Chinese roommate?
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Yesterday, me and my roommate were playing a game called h*ow many countries can you name* and we were getting pretty into it. It went back and forth, mano y mano. He would name one, then I would name one. It was intense to say the least. We were getting into the nitty gritty, some countries I'm sure many of you have never heard of. I needed this bad, so bad. He always beats me in this game, but not today. Not today. He said "Kyrgyzstan" and then gave me a smug smile, because he knows he got me. I was out of countries to name, I was trapped. So I pulled out the Taiwan card. It was all I had left. Normally I try not to talk about politics with my roommate, especially when it comes to things like Chinese-Taiwan relations. But I was a desperate man, and desperate times call for desperate measures. As soon as I said it I could see his face turn red in anger. Now, I knew he would be a little upset, but honestly all I thought he would do is say, "shut up" or something and then end the game. But no, he got furious. He dumped water on me and started yelling at the top of his lungs. "Calm down" I said, but he would have none of it. He kept yelling and pushing me. This made me quite upset, because I don't see why someone should care so much over a stupid little thing like that.
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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AITA for not working?
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Long story short, I needed to take time off work because of my depression, anxiety, and a bit of a breakdown stemming from death in the family and a miscarriage. It's been a few months, but I can comfortably do so because I have about $35k in savings. My boyfriend is mad at me for taking time off work, "sleeping all day" (according to him), and "not doing anything"- calling me lazy.
I have been paying my half of rent, utilities, bills, and insurance in addition to continuing buying all the food (even to feed him). Plus I don't have any other insane expenses to worry about. I have CONTINUED to cook, clean, do all the dishes each night, laundry and take care of HIS daughter (whether he is home or not) just as I have done for the past three years. The only thing I have slacked on is folding laundry. That's just because he tries on typically 3 outfits each day, trying to decide what to wear, and then throws them on the ground- so it's just a tiring, excessive cycle.
I sleep until his daughter gets home from school due to 1) because of insomnia, it takes me about 2 hours to fall asleep ANY time I get woke up and 2) he absolutely has no respect if I'm sleeping (day or night) and will wake me up by flipping the light on, not even bother to leave the room to make phone calls, etc and wakes me up atleast 3 times per day 3) he gets me up at 5am to cook him breakfast, and then I need to get his daughter up for school at 7:45.
I don't ask for money. I pay well over my half. I do all the chores. Aita for not working at the moment and needing to sleep in to 2pm like he makes me seem?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "choosing rainbow road",
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AITA for choosing rainbow road?
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My girlfriend is pretty bad at Mario Kart. We've been playing for about a month. I chose 50cc rainbow road, she got last place and now she's mad. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "taking advantage of free tacos from Apple Bees",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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AITA for taking advantage of free tacos from Apple Bees?
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There was a piece of paper on the table at Apple Bees that said if the waitress doesn’t offer a gift card you get free tacos. The waitress didn’t offer a gift card, so I told her this and she seemed really sad and the manager was walking by and she seemed disappointed as well. I asked our waitress if she would get dinged for not offering us a gift card and she didn’t say no, she just said it’s her fault for not offering one. I feel like most people probably don’t use the offer on that piece of paper and now I feel bad for even asking for the free tacos, I feel scummy. I don’t know, I just hope I didn’t ruin her night. After typing this out it feels more trivial than it did in the moment but I still feel bad and I’m wondering if it’s an asshole thing to do to take advantage of these types of offers and makes the servers look bad.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "no longer concerning myself with my mother's lifestyle",
"pronormative_score": 3,
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|
AITA for no longer concerning myself with my mother's lifestyle?
|
My SO isn't calling me TA for this but decided to discuss my mom with me.
My mom turns 52 this year. My whole life my mom has been obese, if not morbidly. Her diet is soda, sweet tea, chips, candy, and fast food. She lives in a dirty house where her dogs all pee and poop everywhere. Smokes at least half a pack a day.
In the past I tried to talk to her. Let's exercise together, let's eat better together, and I used to talk to her about smoking as well. Her reasons are her knee keeps going out so she can't exercise, she doesn't like rabbit food, and she'll gain more weight if she stops smoking.
Since I moved out I had a son. My SO and I briefly moved in with her while i was pregnant but moved out again after I realized how hopeless it was trying to exist with her. I was drowning in housework trying to make it a livable condition. I was even afraid of the day my unborn child would inevitably get pissed on by a dog or crawl towards a hidden pile of poop and try to teeth on it.
I've even guilted her asking if she wanted to go with him to the zoo but mobility is such an issue. She wouldn't want to rent a wheelchair nor does she want one to own. I talk about cooking with her but she exclaims she hates it. Her brother is dead after a long battle with diabetes from their similar lifestyles. He dropped the weight but it still got him in the end. She sees the consequences. She sees that she can't do fun things with her grandchildren unless it's a grocery trip to Wal-Mart where she uses a scooter.
I've accepted the inevitable. She even jokes with me that I better hope she drops before she's retired because she has life insurance through both her job and an independent company. I wouldn't be surprised if she had a major mental illness that is helping to promote her struggles. As far as I know, I can't do anything aside from somehow convincing her to move in with me so that I can cook for her, but it's more likely she would reject the food and go buy something instead.
I feel like I've done as much as I can, and will continue to discuss her habits when relevant but she is a grown woman who can make her own choices. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "going off on my girlfriend",
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"contranormative_score": 10
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|
AITA for going off on my girlfriend?
|
Follow up AITA to this
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b6oy4m/aita_for_being_honest/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app
So my girlfriend and I had an argument over this, with her saying that I don’t love her unconditionally, and she said “None of our friends would even care if I disappeared”
I responded with “Do you understand what it would do to me to not have you in my life? How I would feel.”
I got back “You said if I was a man you’d move on, jackass.”
I went off. Very badly. For about 4 minutes. I told her I was sick of this shit, asked what the fuck the problem was, I said that I loved her but she was acting like a cunt, I asked why me telling the truth upsets her so much, and told her how much she upset me by making such a big deal out of a very small thing and that I was feeling livid.
Well, she left. She walked out of my house. She didn’t break up with me. She just left.
I have a bad feeling about this but
Well
Shit happens.
So, reddit. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "not telling my ex's fiance he cheated with me",
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WIBTA if I didn't tell my ex's fiance he cheated with me?
|
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
When I was in college, my ex boyfriend and I slept together. (probably 4-5 times) He was my first, and I will and always have had love for him. He was in a relationship of about 2 years at that point. He never told her about what happened for "fear she would hurt herself." Fast forward to now, they are getting married. I feel extremely guilty about the fact that she never found out about what happened between us (trust me, I know she doesn't know, If she did, she'd go ballistic).
Part of me wants to tell her about what happened. Heck, if I was about to marry someone who cheated MULTIPLE times with their ex, I would want to know about it. But the other part of me says it's done and over with, it's a thing of the past, and I should just let them be happy. (Also, I have photographic proof, so I could prove it to her.) I know it's a little late to pull the whole "girl code" card, but at that point in my life I'm not the same person as I am now.
WIBTA if I **didn't** tell her?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "giving a guy my number in the process of seperating",
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|
AITA for giving a guy my number in the process of seperating?
|
My ex bf of 10 years and I are currently seperating and saving up money so I can move out in June. This is something that he initiated and wants and has no plans of changing his mind or working it out. We are still being intimate together.
He decided to look through my phone after I came home late from work and saw a text from a guy who asked me for my number. This is someone I'm not interested in but didn't want to be rude when he asked. Nothing weird was said. My ex berated me on how wrong it was that I couldn't wait until June and that he would be cutting off intimacy with me and that I'm being "manipulative" and "using him for resources"
Am I the ass for not waiting until I'm fully moved out to talk to other guys?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not hanging out with my friend",
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"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for not hanging out with my friend?
|
So my friend I work completely different schedules, my weekend is Monday through Wednesday and her weekend is Friday through Sunday. I managed to get a Friday off for working on a Tuesday, but it I tore my shoulder pretty recently (as in within the week).
She wanted to go out and get drinks, but I suggested we just grab food and hangout and watch tv instead. She didn’t like that and on Friday night she said she has another friend over and they already got food, but I could pick something up and come over. It was also starting to snow a lot that night too, like 6-8 inches of wet, sticky snow. She asked me if I was coming and I said no thanks and never heard back. Now she won’t answer any of my texts.
So AITA for not going out that night?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not funding my boyfriend's flight",
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|
AITA for not funding my boyfriend’s flight?
|
We have been together for 1 year in total, and half of which we are in long distance relationship between Europe and Asia, from July 2018 until now.
We met in university but I (23F) have graduated to work back home in Asia and he (20M)’s still studying. I have visited him once in December during Christmas and we have been talking about him coming to my city during summer in June after his exams. We’ve been discussing who would fund his tickets since he doesn’t have savings and he only works part-time once a week for a few hours. He said it’d be his parents but I kinda knew that they wouldn’t be happy because it’s not cheap to fly him all the way from Europe to Asia.
And up til now, he’s told me that his parents can’t sponsor his travel at all because:
1. They are not comfortable with him flying to see me (either the danger of being in a long haul flight or a foreign continent)
2. The flights are too expensive that they can’t afford them,
so meaning he can’t come to see me in the summer, and we aren’t sure when are we seeing each other.
I’m more shocked and angry than sad because I know his family is financial comfortable and even if they can’t spare a whole £500 for a return flight, they can perhaps chip in and give him incentives to earn money for this trip, instead of shooting the whole idea down.
My boyfriend consulted me to see if I or my family can fund him. Out of rage and shock, I said no, not because I cannot afford it but because I think it’s his financial responsibility to save up for this trip, the same way as I traveled to see him. And that it wouldn’t be fair for me or my family to bear 100% of the cost, including his expenses for me hosting him in the first place, as I am saving up for my master studies too.
AITA for not paying for his flights though I can afford it?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "cutting an autistic friend out of my life",
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AITA for cutting an autistic friend out of my life?
|
I've been friends on and off with someone , let's call him Mike for 10 years or so. We have a shared interest in gaming and often get together with other friends.
Mike unfortunately has a tendency to have outburst when he loses games or someone plays a game a way he doesn't approve of. One time I invited a new friend over only for him to yell at him when he lost a game. When I confronted him over this, he admitted to having a form of autism which causes him to have fits of anger and other issues.
For awhile I tried to be more understanding but I constantly had to deal with the fact that often he would just act out and make things super awkward for everyone else there. I didn't want to not be his friend anymore because we would often get along well when he wasn't having his fits and I would feel like a dick cutting someone off with a behavioral disorder.
One thing that sort of irked me is that when I would bring things up that he did, he would always blame the autism, rarely apologize, and not really change much.
Recently he lashed out at me over a very small arguement to the point of questioning if I am even a good friend to him. That really bothered me because I have always been there for him , through his various medical, relationship and financial problems. I sort of lost it and told him I'm done dealing with his constant triggers and that he makes me feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I have him over.
We haven't spoken since and it's been over a month. I know I should have brought up these issues before doing this but what's done is done. I definitely feel more relaxed having other friends over knowing I don't have to worry about him getting angry over something random. I do know that he doesn't have many other friends and I feel somewhat guilty over the whole thing .
Sorry for the possible formatting issues , I'm on mobile.
TLDR: Autistic friend that often loses his temper finally pushed me over the edge and I have cut him off from my life. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
mxeY1d4BQxbElAE9HWDv1P9jigFTZBen
|
b2zw54
|
{
"description": "not caring about my ex and her newborn",
"pronormative_score": 59,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not caring about my ex and her newborn?
|
I'm keeping this short.
We dated for alittle over a year and in that time I developed deep feelings for her. A year ago we broke up because I found out she was cheating on me. I admit it took a toll on me but we decided to stay "friends" mostly because we work together.
She ended up staying with the other guy and got pregnant. Our relationship after the breakup was mostly random text here and there and the occasional greeting when we saw each other at work. In the last few months she has been texting me more saying she made a mistake. That she hated her life and she regretted getting pregnant because she know her relationship isn't going to last.
At this point I don't have feelings for her. I just tolerate her because of work. A few days ago she had the baby early, it was only alittle over 1lbs. I recieved a bunch of messages from her saying how upset she was and how she wish things were different. I said congratulations and haven't messaged her since. I think she has been looking at me for support but honestly I don't remotely care about her or her newborn. In my mind she got herself in this situation, so its karma.
I do like kids and hope the best for her and the kid. I just dont care how she ends up or have any compassion for her or the kid. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
lomqD7t8g47E3LJ1trzIhMvPWoWdjioQ
|
aitiuo
|
{
"description": "bad parking after a snowstorm",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for bad parking after a snowstorm?
|
Hi all, first time here.
I was on my way to work, it’s a public parking space where employees park as well. I couldn’t see the lines due to being covered by the snow.
But I was only a few minutes away from clocking in so I wasn’t trying to be late, I found a car in a spot in front of me, my goal was to park my car in parallel to theirs. So I was directly behind them.
I finish my shift and come outside to a note on my windshield that says “Learn how to drive asshole you’re not that important”
I don’t like being a butthead to anyone, but I couldn’t see the lines at all, so just did my best to park parallel to other drivers.
AITA for not trying to spend more time looking for a spot with slightly more visible lines? Or should have I attempted to brush up the spot to see the lines where I actually parked?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
fYYB2e5rBVHdwbdVQmBJRLRooW0d1tG5
|
b0dg66
|
{
"description": "wanting half my GF's bet winnings",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for wanting half my GF's bet winnings?
|
Some time ago, during the recent Counter-Strike GO major tournament, my girlfriend and I thought it would be fun to place a few bets on the games. We talked about sharing the wager 50/50. I said to her, that we shouldn't bet more than we could afford to lose, and she agreed. We agreed upon betting 10$ each, so 20$ total.
Fast forward to the day of the games. None of us actually placed the bets, and we only rembered at the last moment. She made an account on a betting site and placed the 20$ wager from her credit card. I told her I already had an account, but she wanted her own. Fair enough, I thought. Take note, I didn't reimburse her for my half.
We ended up doubling the money and had a lot of fun during the games. She controlled the account and live betting during the games, but we discussed the bets and best strategies together.
Fast forward again, to today. After dinner, she mensioned she should remember to cash out the winnings. I told her she could just subtract the 10$ I owed her, and transfer the rest of my half to me. She looked at me, visibly confused and said something along the lines of: "Your half? I made the bet on my own, so I should keep all the winnings.". I disagreed and said that I thought we had a deal to make the bet together and share the winnings. She said that I wasnt a part of it because I didn't pay her back (I know I should have, but I honestly forgot about it). And that the initial deal was off, because I didn't take initiative to make the bet from my account before the games. Even though we didn't talk about the deal being off, she thinks it is obvious that it was.
I don't care about the small amount of money and told her to keep it, but I feel like she broke a verbal agreement.
AITA for feeling entitled to half the money?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
gkRBcLV4kmpMp28T0EiHH2KIPnGsbA7w
|
axvlyu
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend I never loved him",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 94
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend I never loved him?
|
I thought we were in love with each other. We never fought or argued and just genuinely loved being around each other. At least that's what I thought. Until he sat me down and told me that he was dumping me. I was so shocked and the last thing I wanted to do, was let him know I was hurt. So I acted relieved. That confused him, so I told him that I was glad he was ending things. I didn't think I ever loved him, but now I won't hurt him and we can still be friends. No worries.
He got so fucking mad, and said that NOW there's no way, we could EVER be friends. He wanted to be friends, until I said I never loved him.
I didn't understand how he could be mad that I didn't love him, if he didn't love me? **Did he expect me to cry and beg for him to take me back?**
This was a couple weeks ago and we haven't talked since. I ran into his friend at a coffee shop and he paged the fuck out me. He said that what I told my ex "seriously fucked him". He doesn't sleep, or eat properly. He's behind in all his classes, and missed practices because of me. But I think it was probably more than just one comment I made. He called me an "evil bitch". I was in shock so I didn't say anything back.
What I said wasn't true, but I needed to seem so unbothered by being dumped. He broke my heart, but I didn't want to show it. I don't understand it (because he, dumped me), but it doesn't change the fact that I hate he's feeling this way. I did want to hurt him a little, at the time, I won't lie. But I would never want him to be seriously hurt, for this long. There are probably other things going on I don't know about. I don't think he'd get this upset for a comment, especially if he dumped ME
I don't even know why he broke up with me.
So AITA? Is it an asshole move if he wasn't sad over it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 94
}
|
WRONG
|
BCI1JIby2O3fFzwyYdvu07GkvtJ4x2w0
|
axstk8
| null |
AITA who is supporting one friend over another?
|
Last summer two of my friends, lets call one Simon and the other Greg, had a falling out.
I never really new the details about the falling out, except that Simon was the one who wronged Greg.
Now I do need to mention that Simon is my best friend, and has been the last 20 years , while Greg always mainly has been Simons friend.
Not that Greg and I don't get along, but he doesn't have the connection or just compatible personalities that me and Simon has.
During this time, they haven't spoken to eachother and even though they have been to the same parties atleast twice they wont be in the same room.
This causes a lot of friction for our entire friend circle as no one really know what happened, and we are all connected by a minimum of a decade of friendship.
Last week I found out that Simon is going through some other stuff (i won't discluse, as it is personal, but he did share it with me) and he had to do a lot of soul searching.
He is also extremely afraid of conflict and can easily be descriped as a people person.
While he did that he came to the realization that he really don't like to socialize in larger groups. He feels like he cannot keep up when its multiple conversations around him.
Although he says he came to that realization recently, he must still have known somehow due to what he revealed to me.
During last summer Simon and I, along with a third friend were hanging out at Simons place.
While we were there Greg texted Simon asking he he wanted to hang out. At this point Greg didn't know he was with us.
Simon responded basically saying "No, I don't feel like hanging out right now, I rather be alone".
I don't know exactly how Greg found out he was with us, but he did and he was extremely hurt.
Now for the last, almost, 9 months Greg has been feeling very depressed due to this as he feels like Simon has taken all of his friends from him and betrayed him in the worst way.
For my part, I feel like I have done my part of betraying aswell as I havent really tried reaching out to Greg but mainly sticking to the sideline.
I have told myself its because I didn't know the facts about what happened, but I didnt even try as Simon didn't want to talk about it.
As I have learned more and more about this, I know that all of this drama lies on Simons part as he
1, refused to talk to us about it
2, refused to talk or to apologize to Greg about it
3, never really even acknowledged there was a problem
Am I the asshole for not trying to support Greg, even after I learned what happened?
I can say that this drama has caused a rift in our circle, but I am always friendly to Greg. However, he never reached out either but played out the entire abandonment scenario in his head.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
UY7PtAGS0j0Nspe2vNrK159nTTY9HKPU
|
b86ip1
|
{
"description": "walking out on my friends at the store",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for walking out on my friends at the store?
|
I'll try my best to keep this as short and unbiased as possible. So I spent the night with my two friends the other day. I thought we were just gonna hang out and go home the next morning, so I brought pajamas to wear and nothing else. Something to know about me, I have really bad social anxiety and I'm incredibly insecure, but I'm trying to work on it. My friends know this about me.
In the morning we woke up and they decided to run into the grocery store, I was really anxious because it was a Sunday and super busy but I sucked it up because they needed to go in. Normally I try to dress nice and keep up with my appearance so I was already uncomfortable when friend 1 said "No offence but you look the least ready I've ever seen you" and friend 2 laughed and agreed.
I know she was just joking but it really hurt my feelings, so after a minute of tailing behind them and trying not to cry I just walked out of the store and stood outside without telling them. When they realized I was gone friend 1 texted me asking where I was, I responded saying I went to the bathroom and to tell me when they're done. Friend 2 called me but I didn't answer, eventually friend 1 texted me saying they're in the car and where am I.
I walked back to the car, got in and asked if I could be drove home. Friend 2 asked me if I was okay and I just said no. I completely killed the mood at that point and the drive home was silent. When we finally got to my house, friend 2 said she was sorry if she did anything to upset me. I said it's okay, thank you for the ride.
I haven't heard from either of them since, I want to text them but idk what to say. I'm upset because I feel they don't take my anxiety seriously, but I feel like an asshole for handling it the way I did. They're my only friends and I don't want to fuck this up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
X5Qi5R4jPNCN6KEHlP0bZePp9rYapMp9
|
auem85
|
{
"description": "calling my mom a drunk",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for calling my mom a drunk.
|
Hey, im 15 and i live with my mother, father, brother, and grandmother(who is visiting).
This happend yesterday night and its really bothering me.
I had just gotten back from a hockey game and i was very tired. I took a bowl and filled it with stew that my mother had made. Hands weak i dropped it on my way to the table and my mom got very angry and began yelling and screaming at me on how i couldn't even carry a bowl correctly.
I started to argue and noted times when she had spilled her wine over her macbook(for work), the couch, and the tablecloth. She did not take this well and on the way to my room called her a "fucking drunk". She screamed louder and threatened to beat me.
Note; My mom only drinks 1-2 glasses of wine every night and has not gotten drunk in over three years.
My mom caught me smoking weed 2 months ago and has not forgoten to this day. Whenever i talk about drugs she always brings it up and calls me a drug addict and how she thinks i will do heroin. This hurts every time but i havent said anything.
My grandmother told me to apologize but i havent yet.
So AITA for calling my mom a drunk.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
DqPOSombfd3RlNg0gmtML3xz3hfFnLUL
|
b5mw3q
|
{
"description": "going on a 2-week long trip with my two best female friends and missing my bf's 30th birthday and his dad's first days of radiation for cancer",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA if I go on a 2-week long trip with my two best female friends and miss my bf’s 30th birthday and his dad’s first days of radiation for cancer?
|
Over the last few months, I’ve been crawling out of a bad episode of depression with overwhelming anxiety. Recently diagnosed with bipolar and have started new medication. On top of that, I have had a bunch of health problems that have landed me in the hospital, urgent care, and weekly visits to my primary doctor. It’s been a whirlwind of a winter and I’ve been going through a difficult time.
My best friend has two weeks off from work and planned a last-minute, cross-country trip. She’s planning to stop at a bunch of landmarks and parks that have been on my bucket list forever. With how hard this winter has been, I feel that it would be immensely helpful for my mental health and emotional well-being, and an opportunity to reignite my recently-lost passion for travel and adventure.
My boyfriend has also been going through a hard time. His dad was diagnosed with cancer, and though they removed the tumor and he’s now in remission, they’re doing radiation to make extra sure it doesn’t return. He’ll be starting that in a week.
I’d also be missing my bf’s 30th bday while on the trip, but I was thinking of gathering cool keepsakes and presents while on the road and sending him a package that would arrive on his actual bday, and throwing him a big party when I return.
We’ve talked about it in depth and he has expressed that it would hurt his feelings, which I get. My mom thinks I’m being super selfish - and maybe I am, but I’m torn between taking care of myself and taking care of my BF.
TL;DR: Working out of a major depressive episode and have been invited on an amazing 2-week trip with my best friend. Will miss BF’s 30th bday and his dad’s first days of radiation (though he is now in remission.) AITA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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}
|
WRONG
|
PV4zTWLpnm4K1fEDIlfZ0wW9n1GWaDGl
|
ahcndt
|
{
"description": "pointing out a menorah to a jewish girl while we were going out",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for pointing out a menorah to a jewish girl while we were going out?
|
This title doesn't make much sense, I know.
&#x200B;
I make this thread despite the situation having happened a while ago (1-2 months).
&#x200B;
I was going out with a girl on Sunday, and the day before was Hanukkah.
&#x200B;
Now, I didn't know that jews celebrated hanukkah by parading in cars customized with jewish items on them, believe it or not. And I'm 24.
When we were walking at night, there was a van driving with a huge menorah on it, and I was kinda amazed by that as I had never seen that before. This is what it looked like, except the menorah was at least two times bigger with lamps on each branch : [https://pittsburghorbit.files.wordpress.com/2016/12/menorah-mobile-man-with-van.jpg](https://pittsburghorbit.files.wordpress.com/2016/12/menorah-mobile-man-with-van.jpg)
&#x200B;
When I pointed it out, I said 'look! there's a jewish item on that truck, I think that's to celebrate hanukkah', as I didn't remember the exact term for the menorah.
&#x200B;
To my surprise she fucking death stared me and asked me 'why are you saying that?', I quickly responded with 'well that's the first time I'm seeing that, so it's kinda amazing!' and quickly changed the subject.
&#x200B;
Was I in the wrong here? I knew she had jewish origins, but I really didn't mind that at all and subsequently almost forgot about it, and it rushed to me after the incident. I felt really fucking bad.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
F8E1ONOjyZs9Cm9exWoMoUQu6wpZ7JJG
|
9thv56
|
{
"description": "disapproving of my boyfriend's female friendship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for disapproving of my [25F] boyfriend’s [26M] female friendship?
|
Alright guys, I keep wavering back and forth between feeling in the right about this one and feeling like an asshole.
Basic info: we’ve only been dating 5 months, he’s been friends with this girl for years. She currently lives in a different state than us.
So I’d like to think I’m the type of person who’s okay with my SO having opposite-sex relationships. But this particular friendship has made me uncomfortable.
From what my bf has told me, this girl has had a crush on him since their high school days. She’s flirted with him heavily before we started dating (all his profile pics have at least one comment from her calling him attractive), and he’s told me himself that she sent him at least one nude a day right up until me and him started talking to each other. When I asked him why she did that, he said “that’s just how she is.” Ok, whatever. They’ve had sex a couple of times in the past, but never dated. She’s asked him, more than once, to have a baby with her (from what I understand, this request was probably serious). He says he has no romantic feelings towards her, and I believe him. But this girl lives out of state now and still messages him daily. I guess they have a lot in common, but if she was sending him daily nudes and flirting with him within a month of us dating, surely there’s still feelings on her end?
Which brings me to my potentially asshole conversation with my bf. I told him their friendship made me uncomfortable and listed all the reasons above for why. He said he doesn’t really understand and that their relationship is platonic at the moment, and she lives in a different state anyway, so it’s not like he can physically cheat. We left the conversation without really resolving anything, and I still feel a type of way about it.
So... am I the asshole for feeling this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
GRhg9tCRqn1BFJvrhNG8Z61nigLnDWob
|
b7v932
|
{
"description": "not accepting last minute invitations from my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not accepting last minute invitations from my friend?
|
Obligatory mobile warning
Tldr at the bottom
Basically I recently got into a relationship, have been spending a huge amount of time with him and his flatmates, they're awesome and understand to plan things in advance so everyone is free and don't make other plans.
At the same time my best friend from out of town move back to my home town and started working for a company that doesn't give her solid hours (unorganized roster). We planned to hang out and unpack her stuff together, she then told me I didn't need to worry. A few weeks go by no contact and I'm at my bfs place about to go to dinner;
Her: "hey do you want to go clubbing tonight"
Me: "sorry I already have plans with bf maybe another day"
Anyway another week goes by, again with my boyfriend and same thing happens.
A week later, same thing.
The next day she messages me and has a go at me for "spending too much time with bf" and "I've put no effort into seeing her since she moved" so I explained that she can't continue to message me last minute because I need to make plans in advance and I'm not going to drop everything for her, it's rude to the people I make plans with. She even tried to throw our HEAVILY PREGNANT friend into it as well to make me feel guilty. So begrudgingly we organize the next weekend, I start planning a late surprise welcome back dinner and 2 DAYS BEFORE she pulls out because "she's sick"
The night before and I'm still hosting dinner anyway, I get a message from her low and behold
9:45pm, "do you want to go clubbing?"
Ignored her message and got a sob story the next day about how she had dumped her bf and "wanted to feel wanted" (ie "come babysit me while I makeout with a stranger and go home with him while you find your own way home")
I've continued to ignore her messages from now on requesting to hang out because even after I said I needed her to plan in advance she still messages me at ungodly hours of the night wanting to go out. I don't want to spend time with her if she's not going to respect that I'm allowed to have other people in my life.
I tried, you screwed it up, why should I have to give in if you won't learn?
Am I the asshole?
Tldr: best friend messages me at ungodly hours to go clubbing last minute when I have plans, goes off at me because I haven't seen her since she moved and when I try she bails only to ask me again 2 days later, but I thought you were sick? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HMkj49OeOz8Y6NGV2KCIxUNzgANHN8JR
|
b21ype
|
{
"description": "yelling at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For Yelling At My Friend?
|
So some much needed context:
My friend came over one night to just chill and nerd out about DnD, movies, and the 2020 election. Everything was perfectly fine until he wanted go go home.
He had smoked a bit of weed and though he wasn't baked outside of his mind, he was a little high. I insisted he eat some grilled salmon and roasted asparagus I had cooked earlier and drink lots of water before heading home.
After eating the aforementioned food, he was good to drive but he still insisted I follow him home to guide his way and make sure he was okay.
As I followed him, he began to accelerate far too fast and rolled through stop signs and lights, I began to honk at him to get his attention. He ignored all of these warnings.
When we arrived at his house, I was furious. I jumped out of my car and began yelling at him in the empty parking lot by his apartment about how pissed I was that he insisted I follow him home and still ignored my warnings to pull over or slow down. He kept giving me platitudes of "I'm sorry man.""I won't do it again."
When I tried to explain that this platitude was unacceptable, he kept interrupting me which caused me to say "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" He then tried to punch me and told me to never say that to him again.
I got over the argument the next day, but he still refuses to talk to me. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
QWqndSZyOwt59ULBsuivtsWZvtANrBBl
|
9yk2f0
|
{
"description": "being kicked out of Hometown Buffet's",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for being kicked out of Hometown Buffet’s (Ryan’s?)
|
A little backstory: I visit this location every Friday night with my family and we all eat. A lot. Last time, the manger told us we had hit our limit but we informed him that the agreement is “all you can eat.”
I was on my 9th plate when he came up to me, we had probably been there for about three hours. He was nice at first and goes on the spill about how they have the right to limit quantity in the TOS and that we have already went far over what the computer would give him credit for. He told us that most people “only eat 2-3 plates and they are stuffed.” He said he thanked us for our business but we could not have anymore food that night unless we paid for a second buffet, otherwise we needed to leave.
So I got up after he left the area and fixed another plate. (At this point, I was pretty pissed off. Who is this mindless meathead trying to tell me what to do?) When he came back around and saw it, he told us we had to leave immediately and that if we came back and done it again then we would be banned from his location.
Am I the asshole? I mean it’s an all you can eat buffet. It’s $65 for my family to eat there with drinks and dinner buffet. We always pay and tip the waitress. I plan on going back Friday night to put my foot down. My requests for corporate to contact me have gone unanswered.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
UEd6dxDY6zbyaNJFfgau2697SKYdbvd2
|
at4e05
|
{
"description": "thinking its a little unfair that my mom wants to kick me out even though I'm 18",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for thinking its a little unfair that my mom wants to kick me out even though I'm 18?
|
Obviously you it's legal but given the circumstances I don't think I just don't think it's fair idk. Like yeah obviously it's legal, but if I get kicked out I'm garaunteed homeless.
My mom has always been really physical and emotional abusive so it's caused A LOT of mental health issues. She never agreed to therapy until recently, but I stopped going because it wasn't working with that therapist and everytime we'd get into a fight or something and say "why am I paying for therapy if you're still like this?", sorta thing. Even though I've only had 5 sessions. I'm not sure if I'll be going back, it's up to her.
I mention the mental health issues because it's really hard for me to find work. I have social anxiey and haven't developed much socially (I was homeschooled), so finding work is hard. I'm suspecting other things but I didn't rly get into it with my doctor. Obviously I can get through this, but I don't think I can alone. And if I do it'll take a while because I'm just so screwed up.
Point is my mom wants to kick me out when I finish highschool (I'm a senior)but I feel like I'm in a situation where it's going to be impossible to be able to move out and I'm going to end up homeless. I just feel like it's unfair that she made me this way and she's going to just kick me out on the street. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Lf9gDIz1jwb1FKMjuWuGM1Uunj0e5Caw
|
asztt9
|
{
"description": "dating a lesbian",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for dating a lesbian?
|
So a while ago there was this girl that I knew that I decided I should date (this was before she came out) and we went on a couple of dates and everything was fine but out of no where she broke up with me for a couple of generic reasons like “we didn’t really connect” or “you didn’t really talk to me”. So I was like that’s total bs and tried to get her back a couple of times, each time I got rejected, but we still kept talking and one day she told me that for most of the time that we dated she was a lesbian. I felt like such a dick for trying to get her back even though she was obviously not into me, and still not excepting it
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
i3alIlZnFKmwhc6wGKM5t53OQe0n7rpp
|
a8osu5
|
{
"description": "telling my parents something my brother told me in confidence",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if i told my parents something my brother told me in confidence?
|
To preface I'm a 21M student and he's 19. Further background: my brother is the nicest guy in the world, but that's a double edged sword because hes a humongous fucking pushover.My brother has lived in an apartment for the better part of this year with his two bum ass friends, neither of whom work much or pay really any sort of bills at this apartment. These kids rely on my brother to work his ass off overtime so they can sit at home and eat junk food and play video games all day. One of them is the registered tenant with my brother and is consistently either late on rent/utilities and/or just doesnt pay and lets it Fall on my brother. Because he knows my brother is a pushover and will pay. These kids will go out to eat and MY BROTHER WILL SOMETIMES PAY. The other friend literally just crashes on their couch and lives rent free. The WIBTA is about this: my brother bought the couch-sleeper a fucking car. A $1600 car. And didnt tell our parents. His justification, due to his nice nature, was that "couch-sleeper is a delivery driver, he NEEDS a car." Ok first of all, that doesn't fall to you. Second of all, he can FIND A NEW FUCKING JOB. Panera can find a new delivery driver this job isn't fucking curing cancer. Third and worst of all, my brothers car dies a week or two after he buys bum ass here a car, and now relies on him (and my parents, who live acrosstown from him) to get to and from work. I feel like i need to tell my parents about this situation but he told me about buying this car in confidence, trusting in me to not tell our parents. I don't want to betray his confidence, but I'm also angry at him for this outrageous expenditure on his buddies. Perhaps it's not my place but the dudes 19 and really hasnt seen or experienced much of the world yet and as his older brother i feel a duty to help him. I know it is ultimately his money, but as i said, the kid is 19. So, WIBTA for teling my parents/AITA for being mad about this in the first place?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qnoJBghfpk1RJM2ZFSr56a7MIIjvqLZZ
|
ashdqf
|
{
"description": "making my 16yr old son get a job before he was allowed to start his drivers ed course",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITAH For making my 16yr old son get a job before he was allowed to start his drivers ed course?
|
Let me start by saying, I feel very strongly that it is my job as a parent to make sure I am helping my children become a positive contribution to society.
Back story. My son is 16 when he decides he’s ready to start his driving course. Most of you know, this can be a lengthy process. But, I was sensing some procrastination. So, to make sure he was serious, I laid out a plan. Once he had found a part time job, I would help him start and pay for the drivers ed course.
Now, at this time, I had already found him a job as a farm hand working 8 hrs a month. This was great, but my point was for him to start saving. This job was literally pocket change.
In my mind, having the responsibly of a vehicle came with many hidden costs. We gladly pay their insurance, but gas is all them and we split repairs.
This is where I became the AH... he was so mad at me. He has Aspergers and hates having to interact with strangers. He fought me on this daily, always coming up with an excuse as to why he “couldn’t” work. His big sis helped draft a fantastic resume and we started taking him around town to drop them off. We didn’t have much luck until one night when I was picking up dinner at one of our spots and I hit the owner up. She told me to send my son in and hired him on the spot the next day.
I was true to my word, and we started the drivers ed process immediately. But, he still brings it up regularly!? How ridiculous it was for me to set such expectations for him. The truth is, he’s not my last, and It will be the standard from now on.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
4YKxTBWaRjXn78J9Y1fGKN3LsWHLyzOD
|
b04axa
|
{
"description": "embroidering my heartbreak",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I embroidered my heartbreak?
|
My ex recently broke up with me to “work on himself for us” and a week later had the married woman I asked him to stop talking to while we were together (because their relationship was inappropriate I’m not the only one who saw this) to which he agreed, staying at his place.
I blocked him on everything because I can’t but would I be an asshole for embroidering his favorite sweatshirt with what I want to say to him (still thinking, will stop if I’m the asshole, but it can’t be too long a phrase anyways) before shipping it back to him.
The only thing I think this will accomplish is some closure for me but if defacing clothes is too far I’d like to know. I wasn’t cheated on to my knowledge but still harshly heartbroken.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
y5K68q2e1CCWOIOjuXpUTO1vpPFe665N
|
b4klre
|
{
"description": "not telling someone I was uncomfortable",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling someone I was uncomfortable?
|
I know the title makes it sound obvious but please read all this mess. All of this lasted a time frame of 10 years, I think that's probably important
When I was in 4th grade I "dated" this guy. It was really more like we were friends, but I didn't like how he tried making me go to parties and tried getting me to kiss him, so we went back to being friends and then I moved away. In total I maybe knew him for a few months and we were kids so I didn't think much of it.
But he obviously did and when I was in 8th or 9th grade he started talking to my family members and friends trying to get in contact with me and I asked them to decline and it was alright for a while. I eventually caved after he asked another friend. I figured it was the only way it could end.
But the texts were just weird. It was really clear he had me on a pedastel. He kept talking about how smart and amazing I was even though he barely knew me back then and flat out didn't now. He also started comparing himself to my long term boyfriend. When I mentioned my boyfriend worked in the restaurant industry and loved it, he was all "that's cool, I'm going to be getting a big internship at this big company this summer".
I stopped responding at that point, and after a few weeks of him messaging me "I hope you're having a good week" and "I miss you" I blocked his number.
A month or so later I was creating a new Facebook. He sent me a request that night. My boyfriend had enough and messaged him. The guy said my profile just popped up in "people you might not know", which I just can't believe since we had no mutual friends, weren't in the same area, nothing. BF then said I was uncomfortable by everything, and Guy called me a child and said I should have said something myself sooner.
Everyone has said he was a creep and should have gotten the hint years ago. But I'm just not sure after that final dig at me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ftb9oTBdaINLOO2yjiYA0o5xeObXAFCG
|
9wv9hi
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share personal information with my MIL",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to share personal information with my MIL?
|
For context, my new wife and I have been dating for 8+ years. We just got married this past weekend. Her mom was super helpful during the wedding planning, including taking over a bunch of things that neither my wife nor I were willing to handle/plan. She was also a little overbearing, a sentiment my wife shares, and very insistent that she pay for a lot of things. I have no issue with her paying for anything, but I wanted to avoid a quid pro quo whereby she used her payment for things to leverage an unwanted opinion about the day. I wanted to make it clear it was our day and not her mom’s. In a few instances for the wedding, her mom tried to “get her way” by cornering me or calling me and asking me to give her permission to do something, and when I’d respond by telling her I’d have to clear it with my partner, she’d keep asking and asking and asking to wear me down. I heard her do the same thing with my wife-to-be at the time, and she would generally give in and let her MIL “win” so to speak.
Anyways, after the wedding her mom was prying about how much money we made from the wedding to both of us and I shut that shit down quick. I politely told her we didn’t know and hoped she’d drop it. She didn’t drop it, instead she just kept asking and asking and asking and asking my wife until she relented, and told her mom she’d give her the information about how much money people gave us. I told my wife I wasn’t willing to share personal information from our wedding with anyone, and that included her mom. There’s no good reason in the world for her to need it, and she found out I wasn’t willing to share the information so she “divided and conquered” and made my wife agree to do it without me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
hGu5am40J6BN0fC9I9hG49oOSJGWQZ6h
|
aks4kc
|
{
"description": "rejecting my moms dying wish to see me before she passes away",
"pronormative_score": 147,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for rejecting my moms dying wish to see me before she passes away?
|
Here is the background of the situation, me and my mom never had a good relationship to start off. Around the age of 14, my mom and dad had a nasty divorce that ultimately split the family in half. I have 4 sisters, 2 older and 2 younger and I am the only son. My sisters left with my mom and I decided to stay with my dad.
The reason I decided to stay with my father was because one night he came into my room just crying. Telling me he has no one else left in this world except me. That night I promised to be by his side no matter what and always be there for him. I can see that my mom hated me for choosing to stay with my father.
Skip a few years later and I’m 17 and living with my father still. Over the years my father slowly started drinking his pain away and it took a toll on him and me. He became an abusive father telling me that I remind him of “Her” which is my mom but I stayed because I loved my dad and I promised to be with him no matter what.
I tried to keep in touch with my sisters however my mom hated that idea. I felt like my mom brainwashed my sisters to hate me for choosing my dad over her but I didn’t care. I tried to talk to my sisters over the phone, drive to their place and hang out with them because they were still my family. Except one day I went over to my moms house to see my sisters and my mom, however she pulled me aside privately telling me its best to stay away from them because I would bring my dads influence and I won’t be a good role model to my younger sisters. She told me that she doesn’t want to see me around ever and to stop hanging around my sisters and that broke my heart.
A year later I turned 18, and things just got worse, my dad became more angrier with the world and I was scared everyday locking my room, sometimes I’ll just spend nights in my car just to get away because I was afraid of what he becomes when he drinks. One day I just couldn’t take it anymore, I decided to pack my things and just leave because I don’t have a family anymore. I asked one my online video game buddy who lived 4 states away from me, if he would take a stranger into his home. He told me that I am family and he welcomed me into his family.
The day I decided to leave I told my dad that I’m leaving and I’m never coming back. The look he gave me, I could tell his soul just dropped out of his body. He just looked dead. I packed what little I had and went into my car. Lastly, I went to my moms house and she was there alone and my younger siblings were at school. I told her that I’m leaving and I’m not coming back to this f#cked up family. That day she asked me if I finally got tired of my dads shit and just told me to she doesn’t want to see me either. I just felt disgusted and just depressed. I tried to a be a son to my mother and father, I tried to be a brother but I just couldn’t do it anymore. That day I left to my friends home driving 21 hours straight, just crying. I arrived at my friends house and a week later I get a call from my uncle that my father committed suicide. I was devastated and blamed myself for his death because I promised to never leave his side.
Years later I’m 23, it’s been 5 years and not once I received a call from my mom or my sisters about my whereabouts or how I’m doing. They didn’t bother come looking for me, nothing. Except one day my younger sister found me on social media and texted me through Facebook. She told me mom had developed pancreatic cancer and doesn’t have much time left. I kept in contact with my younger sister because I still gave a damn about my family deep inside me. I would text her about how everyone is doing, especially how was mom doing. We exchange numbers and we would call each other here and there.
One day I get a call from my younger sister and it happens to be my own mother. She tells me that she isn’t doing so good, she doesn’t know how much time she has left and apologizes for being a bad mother towards me. She told me she wishes she could see me one last time before she passes away and in that moment, what she said just destroyed me. I responded by telling her No, I won’t come see you and that this is what she wanted and I just hung up the phone. Days later i get a call from my younger sister telling me that mom passed away and was crying a lot and I’m an asshole for not being there for my own mom, I told her that she doesn’t understand what I’ve been put through and I haven’t talked to my younger sister ever since then.
TL: DR: My mom’s dying wish was for me to come see her before she passes away, I told her no because of our past differences and my younger sisters tells me I’m an asshole and haven’t spoke to me since.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 137,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 147,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
RIGHT
|
B01ggccsJOLxwO7sy72catpvdUxPbkHa
|
artusi
|
{
"description": "disputing rather than paying a debt over a clerical mistake",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for disputing rather than paying a debt over a clerical mistake?
|
Maybe I'm in the wrong place, I don't post to Reddit often. Sorry for any formatting issues and all that.
Back story: years ago I had an account with Verizon wireless. At one point I called them to cancel the account which, as far as I was aware, was not under contract. They cancelled the account for me and then sent me a bill for around $900 in early termination fees and what not. The account went to collections as I argued with Verizon and then eventually they just stopped contacting me and it just sat on my credit report.
Fast forward to today when I received a letter from the collection agency they sold my debt to. The letter basically said I could pay $300 to settle the account and have it removed from my report. Since I'm hoping to buy a house in the near future I figured I'd finally bite the bullet and just pay it and be done.
I went to their website and entered the information provided to access my account and in reviewing it they have a place holder phone number and a birthday that is definitely not mine. The birthday they have listed would have made me 12 years old at the time the account was closed. Considering I had the account for 2-3 years that would mean I was 9 or 10 upon opening it.
It definitely has my name on it and to access it I had to verify my social. In order to fix their mistake they want me to mail them a copy of my social security card, drivers license, AND birth certificate.
AITA if I dispute the account even though I know it was mine?
TL;DR: account went to collections during contract dispute, now the collection agency has incorrect personal information and Im considering disputing it to see if they'll remove it instead of paying.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
m6F5a3cXeqq9eGZk0SXJNYgDolOHPXIz
|
aynd88
|
{
"description": "calling a friends Fiance 'Weak Fiance'",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For calling a friends Fiance 'Weak Fiance' ?
|
I have a friend who I usually speak to, and his fiance usually gives me hate on a daily basis whenever my friend mentions me.
&#x200B;
Today, I had told him he had a 'Weak Fiance' and he flipped, he said that was an Insult.
&#x200B;
Afterwords, the reason why he flipped was because a past i did not know of his Fiance (health wise)
&#x200B;
Am I the bad guy here?
I feel, 'Weak Fiance' is basically, calling them weak. That's it.
&#x200B;
And he tells me it's bad, to make me feel guilty, and also his Fiance. For not knowing about it.
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
3nNH5o4DBPV2dLYFP3Pz56tuqLxtYXTB
|
b3288j
|
{
"description": "deciding not to be in my best-friend's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTA if I decided not to be in my best-friend’s wedding?
|
I’ve been friends with him for 15 years—let’s call him “T.” Well, T was the first friend I made when I moved to NC from NY and he proposed to his girlfriend a few months ago.
Of course I’m excited for him and, naturally, he asked me to be one of the groomsman in his wedding. I said yes, but I’m having hesitations and here is why: I’m one of those people that likes pretty much everyone I come into contact with, I’m easy to talk to and love people in general. But I absolutely cannot **STAND** his fiancé.
If you’ve ever seen the movie Dirty Grandpa, she is the literal embodiment of Julianne Hough’s character; bossy, two-faced, immensely selfish, materialistic, controlling. Basically your run-of-the-mill haughty taughty bridezilla.
An example of this was yesterday. I went over to their apartment to drop off a tool T had left in my car. So after about 15 minutes of me being there, here comes his fiancé. She walks in with this attitude, barely says two words to me or him, then leaves to go to class. So I ask T what’s wrong and apparently she’s all pissy at him because he said he didn’t want to go out to dinner. Now, they go out to eat a few times a week, but he’s a welder who is (currently) on his 13th day straight of working. Of course he doesn’t want to fucking go out to eat. The man was about to pass out next to me because he’s so exhausted. She even started to bitch and complain when I brought my Xbox over to show him Red Dead.
On top of that, I can’t even invite T out for a drink with one of the other groomsman in the wedding because she would have something to say about it. It’s a constant feeling of walking on eggshells and I hate it. I feel like I’ve lost my best-friend because she’s striped him down into something he isn’t and I feel like he’s settling.
I haven’t spoken to him about this yet because I don’t know how he will react. I want to be there for him on his wedding day but I wouldn’t feel right handing my best friend over to someone like her. With that said, how should I approach this and WIBTA if I did?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
P7UJT2FTFuUSzkPWNEUWQGYc4luHX0cn
|
aq5q69
|
{
"description": "staying in an all-men club while my wife is against it",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for staying in an all-men club while my wife is against it?
|
My coworkers introduced me to an all-men club, which is basically for finding friends as an adult as well as networking. I like meeting my new friends (being 30-ish finding new friends outside work is hard), however my wife is furious. She is a strong defender of women's rights and thinks that if they (=the club) continue with their all-men-policy, I should quit the club in order to have her back on this topic.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to leave this circle of friends? I also support gender equality, and although this club is men only, I'm sure there are similar groups for women.
My wife's point of view is that simply by participating in this club, I am working against her beliefs and what she is fighting for.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
i24GLkR5DMV6LqsrTYHWLpLSGIGXtyCM
|
augy3e
| null |
AITA Confrontation with housemates
|
I rarely post on Reddit , let alone on this particular subreddit but this massive argument i just had is making me question myself since most of the house is in unision about me being otp.
So i get into bed at around 1:30 am and struggle to get into sleep since my skin condition decided to really flare up tonight and coupled with my extreme tiredness made me very agitated. At around 2:45 am 3 of my housemates come down for a chat , and about 15min in it turns into a shouting contest and considering my room is literally opposite the living room it made it impossible to get some rest. I told them kindly to keep their voices down or just continue the convo upstairs . They essentially just ignored the messages i sent on the group chat for a solid 40 mins and so in a groggy , painful state i went out of my room and confronted them. One of the housemates who seems to think everything is 'banter' decided to mockingly say 'oh go to back to your room' and i just exploded into a rage of anger and insults. I had to be held back from my own desire to smash his face in, in retrospect resorting to violence wasn't ideal and i'm never aggressive but the combo of tiredness , frustration and the fact they seemed to think it wasn't a big deal pissed me off.
Once i had calmed down , we had a long argument about me 'overreacting' and that's not a big deal. So my issue with this logic isn't even the fact they were super loud , it's the complete lack of respect in seeing my msgs as some sort of joke. Another point they made is that in the past i have been loud in the early hours of the morning , however this was months ago and they never pointed out i was being loud until the next day , as opposed to msging me if i were being too loud.
I'm pretty certain my only fault in this whole debacle is my violent reaction , i should have been more calm but i don't see how preventing someone from sleeping because you can't be bothered to chat upstairs at like 3 fking am on a sunday is 'banter'. Not to mention it's like a weekly thing and since sleep is hard for me to come by , it's incredibly irritating.
PS: Apologies if this is formatted/worded incorrectly , i'm still seething tbh.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 5,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
AegtR2OshMAXdalwwQVEGDRQ0nRtE6DR
|
asv3li
|
{
"description": "blocking my stalker in my city",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I block my stalker in my city?
|
So last July, I lived in China in Shanghai. Browsing tinder I found a canadian born chinese and we started talking, she was travelling china with her family. After a few weeks chit chatting, more as friends, she was a city away so I decided to meet her. She was alone as her friends went to Beijing so we had the time to ourselves and she had a hotel.
The plan was to just be friends and I didn't see the problem, I wasn't really looking for anything I made it clear, she was the same. Well I felt we didn't click, she would say how much jokes aren't funny, be angry if I spoke chinese because she was unable to speak chinese and it just felt dull.
She left and I stayed and we talked for a few weeks, she asked if we could date or something, I said sure since I expected she wanted just someone to talk to, big mistake. Things got really busy for me so I couldn't reply to her for the day and I found 11 missed calls and many audio messages, she then stalked my social media asking who my ex was etc. She said it's normal, middle school gossip etc. and "instinct".
Well I didn't find it amusing so basically told her I can't do this, I have a lot of stress in my life and this isn't something I need, I have a lot of family issues in Europe as well as working two jobs. I explained and she basically ignored what I said. Continuing to message and stalk my instagram. I ended up blocking her when it was 2am tehre and by the time I made a coffee she messaged me saying how dare I block her.
It continued so I blocked her on all social media, except wechat (chinese facebook) I have no idea why but when she says how upset she was I felt bad but I never replied to her.
Well this continued and I met someone recently, she found out by using an alt account to stalk my instagram and messaged her. We had a pregnancy scare together and I told the stalker "look I'm having this, please just stop". Well she told her how I dont want the kid and google translating stuff in her native language.
Well now she's got a flight from toronto to the UK. She is now in London, I'm an hour away and she's begging me to meet for "closure". I explained how it was one date, how can you need closure. She said she was so stressed etc she skipped her period and says she needs it.
What should I do?
TL:DR My transatlantic stalker took an 8 hour flight for me. What should I do
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
rEtOKzTzW0TWFTGVObygZtHfIOPSWrCO
|
admsli
|
{
"description": "being upset that my colleagues grandmother died",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my colleagues grandmother died?
|
Firstly I’m not upset that her family member died. My grievance is with my employer.
At my job (Shitty company) for the last year and a half I’ve routinely covered for colleagues who call in sick, have family troubles and when my supervisors are short in other areas they ask me to do two peoples job. This means I’m late for everything, I don’t get to do everything properly and our customers suffer. I also have to pass on certain tasks to the evening shift and that in turn makes them late.
As the title suggest her grandmother died and I know (because shitty company is now feeling the effects of being a shitty company and being shitty to their employees) that my supervisors won’t be able to cover her for at least a week, maybe even more.
I’d do anything to bring back my grandmother. I’ve told one colleague that I’m upset with my employer not with a colleague whose family member died. AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Xvsht6zVVY0SOP92pWQxkZ6XlRwCD2n1
|
ajp0a1
|
{
"description": "chastising my girlfriend about not taking her hospital visit seriously",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for chastising my girlfriend about not taking her hospital visit seriously?
|
My (24 yo) girlfriend has been having stomach issues for the past year. I have begged her to go see some kind of medical help, but didnt push because she's afraid of needles and the issue only came around once a month or so. This is prior to us dating. Now that we are dating, her stomach issues have become several times a day and daily. The issues are debilitating pain and the only relief she gets is from taking a hot shower. This means we are limited to just staying home and watching TV, because any attempt to go out means risking not being able to get her in a shower immediately. On Tuesday her parents convinced her to go to a hospital. They ran a few tests but she was incredibly sick and the only answer they could come up with was esophagitis (no shit. She had been throwing up for 2 days!). Any way, the nurse said they need her to eat and show that she can keep down a meal and she will be discharged in the morning. Her mom comes over and she tells her mom she cant eat and asks her mom to eat her food for her. She herself eats 1 bite of jello and her mom ate the rest. She was discharged the next morning and is still sick. I chastised her for lying to the staff and that she isn't trying to get better and it's not fair to expect me to be content with staying at her parents house with her every time I want to see her. That we cant have a date night. Hell even our sex life is diminished because she's always sick.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
YHksYWUGNuNpSULvXqMDH31rU1MbEGOS
|
auub5r
|
{
"description": "wanting to keep this dog",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to keep this dog?
|
So to start this story off, I’ve been fostering this beautiful Great Dane dog for over a year now. It was only suppose to be 2days then changed 6 six weeks. Now here we at 1 year later.
Now this doggo was my mother’s fiancés dog. My mother kicked the dog out after she got sick and starting puking and pooping everywhere so me and my husband took her. When we got her she was skin and bone. She was so depressed she would never come out of her kennel.
After a couple months and getting her on a meal plan that didn’t make her sick. She started to gain weight (she was 80ish pounds when we got her and she should be about 125). We later found out she was Mel nourished as a puppy. After all this of course I fell in love with this dog. I know she is the dog for me. She protects me. Even when I passed out in the bathroom she was trying to wake me up and keep me awake until I could call ambulance.
Every morning we cuddle after my husband goes off to work and she never leaves my side.
Here’s my problem.
I’ve poured 500-1000$ into the dog over a year w my husband. Including the pet deposit at our new house the previous “owner” didn’t pay.
Now he wants her back now that he has a new house away from my mom. I love her I don’t wanna give her back.
AITA if I want to keep her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mtCvFB1xpVnP2yFY6qopnN0bLVV9nvHM
|
ague5d
|
{
"description": "being pissed that my ex told his family/friends about my suicide attempt",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being pissed that my ex told his family/friends about my suicide attempt?
|
It's been a few years since we were together, but I've just been wondering if I am right to think that it was kinda shitty/selfish of him that he told both his parents and a few of his friends when I had to be hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I understand if he needed someone to talk to - but I really didn't want so many people knowing, and I think my asking him not to tell anyone was okay. I wouldn't have been so upset if it was just one person, I understand he needed support as well, but he told a handful. It's something I've always thought about negatively even though I forgive him, but I'm wondering if maybe I should cut him some more slack.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Wq3GkgV8YxPKDUoJ2SfhcVEU9u0g7HvG
|
ax75vx
|
{
"description": "sticking up for an ex instead of my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 405,
"contranormative_score": 121
}
|
AITA for sticking up for an ex instead of my girlfriend?
|
Throwaway. My girlfriend are in a huge/ potentially relationship ending argument. I need to know if ITA.
I’m in a very LDR with basically the girl of my dreams. Absolutely beautiful, smart, driven. Things have been great despite being a several hour plane ride away from each other.
She came to town, and I was so pumped to introduce her to my friends. They threw a party, and while on the way, GF randomly asked “are there any girls I should be worried about” This is probably where I fucked up, but I explained that a girl I used to see will likely be there. Explained that we were supportive of each other during our respective divorces, and we hadn’t seen each other since well before I met GF. I was asked if we ever slept together. I said yes, because...we had. Also important to say that we never told out mutual friends about our fling, it wasn’t a big deal.
Everything started out great. Everyone was so welcoming to gf, including ex who was there with a new guy.
GF gets drunk and made a comment about single moms dating being weird, almost directly have ex mentioned her children. She randomly asked why she divorced ex husband...in front of everyone, and then asked, again in front of everyone, where we had gone one dates. I was honestly so surprised. So was everyone else.
I apologized to ex and her guy as they were leaving, and she said “no worries. Play 23 year old games, win 23 year old prizes” (were all in our 30s) and gf heard this and sobbed in the bathroom for the rest of the night. She was so devastated that I did tell her that was out of line; however, I feel like nearly everything gf said to her was out of line.
We got into the biggest argument about how I didn’t have the decency to stand up for her. I told her honestly, I should have stood up to ex when gf relentlessly tried to embarrass her, and she can’t be surprised at a little passive aggressiveness after the way she acted.
She’s now back on a plane, and we will discuss further once she clears her head.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 48,
"OTHER": 397,
"EVERYBODY": 73,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 6
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 405,
"WRONG": 121
}
|
RIGHT
|
LsD7rc3tJExwxzbD68LWWp1hkiQsPglz
|
aqx2w8
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for the food I don't eat",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay for the food I don't eat.
|
I am currently on holiday with friends. At the moment we stay at an accomodation where we need to cook for ourselves.
Before we went on holdiays we already went to buy the necessary things we would need and I would say if you just want to eat something or fridge is always filled with something to eat.
I am a simple man, I do like to buy non-necessary stuff often but I have no problem with drinking only tap water or eat stuff without extra meat/fish. My friends seem to have this problem.
We go shopping everyday and pay, for 4 persons, around 50 euros everyday. The problem is while we are shopping I am telling them which stuff I don't want to eat/drink and it is a lot since I really dont see why to buy stuff in a very expensive shop +30% on most stuff. I told them we could go once for a drive (~40km) and 'go shopping big time' but the answer was: ' If we drive this far we will burn a lot of gasoline '
Am I the asshole for just not wanting to pay for things I clearly said I don't want and won't touch.
As I mentioned before I tell them straight up which stuff I don't want.
I just told them I am not okay paying my part of the bill without consuming most of the stuff on the bill. Now I was told I am fucking up the holidays and I could just pay because they are my friends and they also don't get a bit from everything (which pretty much isnt the case)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
QRSBfPpzD4BSG8yd1VNPWkAbJfeqxlzf
|
atbppw
|
{
"description": "asking my gf about her past relationship",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I ask my gf about her past relationship?
|
I want to ask my girlfriend about her past relationship and why she broke up with her ex. We’ve been dating for five months now and I want to know how her previous relationship was with her ex. Will I be the asshole if I ask this personal question?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 5
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XVPTKgl4KLfYvLr4Ey3ob50IjyaBVh7N
|
ac1ryq
|
{
"description": "telling my sick sister she still needs to clean up after herself",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my sick sister she still needs to clean up after herself?
|
My sister is visiting for the holidays and we went on a trip to see some extended family, which included kids. She works in a sterile environment with adults so her immune system is pretty weak. She came down with a pretty bad nasal something from interacting with the kids and now that we're back home, she's basically spent the whole time curled up around my game consoles trying to recover.
The only problem is that she leaves piles of used tissues, empty food wrappers (everything from fruit snacks to actual burger wrappers), and dead cans and cups behind when she goes to bed. I keep gently reminding her to take her stuff when she leaves the room and she'll explain that she doesn't feel good. Then she follows up by asking if she can take my handheld consoles with her so she can play before falling asleep. My answer varies depending on what I feel like doing that night (if I feel like using it or not, basically) but it's been no more than yes, especially as I've gotten more annoyed with the mess.
She has all the energy in the world when she's playing games or doing something fun for her, but if I ask her to clean up all her symptoms suddenly come to the surface and she's too weak and tired to do anything. It has led to me either leaving the trash where it is and it just not getting cleaned up, or me picking it up and her leaving a new and impressive pile of trash. She has not once cleaned after herself.
Finally I told her that she needs to clean her stuff up or she's not touching mine anymore. She started crying and kept explaining that she was sick and she couldn't help it and she didn't mean to make me upset. I don't feel like I was particularly mean about it but I was pretty fed up. She's only going to be here a few more days but it's honestly getting to me. I'm not her maid and she's older than me. AITA for coming down on her while she's feeling sick?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
igFcXLMZGpRN0M4NXK3PoKARzqiPMfrB
|
aok0qq
|
{
"description": "ignoring phone on my day off, not going to cover a \"sick\" co-workers shift",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Ignoring phone on my day off, not going to cover a “sick” co-workers shift.
|
I could use the hours but why should I come in on my day off just because this shitty corporation gave me 33 hours in 5 days this week. They got a huge tax cut thanks to Donald Trump but still try to cut down on labor whenever they can, sending people home early when it’s not busy etc, and haven’t given any raises or bonuses to hourly employees. I never call in sick and still have all my sick pay sitting there that will never be used, but it seems someone else is calling in sick every other week. Not to mention when the guy texted this morning at 10 I texted him back and he waited two hours to respond so I assumed he had the shift covered and began going about my day.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Gg9tiWlkMR8fO4gCYsqX9kqgeHzndJKS
|
a4791k
|
{
"description": "not kissing my so when she has a cold sore",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not kissing my SO when she has a cold sore?
|
I am in a long-distance relationship (soon to not be long-distance). My SO occasionally gets cold sores when I am visiting, and I have told her repeatedly that I do not want to kiss her when she has them, as I do not want the virus.
Whenever this occurs, she gets very upset and we get into a fight. I try to explain my reasoning and tell her it’s not because I don’t love her/am not attracted to her/etc. I just don’t want to kiss her when we know that when she has the cold sores there’s the greatest chance of giving me the virus. She says that since we rarely see each other it’s not fair that I don’t want to kiss her when we have the chance.
I know that the majority of the world has the virus, but I have never had cold sores, so maybe I don’t have the virus. Maybe I have the virus and just never get cold sores, but I’d rather not be sure to get the virus by kissing her and come to find out that I didn’t before, but now I do and I get cold sores because of it.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3didi2LlJQgcaJ6HulnVysdyEctojC3w
|
aaeo9o
|
{
"description": "not answering my friend's calls and eventually yelling at him to stop calling me and having a grudge against him for something that happened years ago",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not answering my friend’s calls and eventually yelling at him to stop calling me and having a grudge against him for something that happened years ago?
|
(The calling part: I have this friend who I’ll call Carl for now. Me and Carl met years ago and became best friends after finding out we were interested in a lot of the same things. Ever since we’ve met we would talk about how we would want to sleep over each others house when we eventually were able to sleep over each others house one day I’d sleep at his the next he’d sleep at mine. After we slept over Carl got my number and we called each other the day after he slept over my house and we talked for a bit. At first I was fine with it until two weeks after. One day I didn’t feel like answering his call so I let it rang and ignored it (which is a douche move I know). What I didn’t realize is that he would keep calling me over and over and over and eventually answered. Day after day he would call me, in the car, at dinner or lunch, at the store, and almost any other time. I told him the fifth day it started that i didn’t wanna call all the time and it was kinda annoying, to which he replied it was ok that he knew he could be annoying at times. I was glad we didn’t get into a fight. The next day, call after call after call after call sometimes he’d call 37 times before he gave up I was getting more and more annoyed especially waking up to see 10 missed calls from Carl an hour before I woke up. After another week went by I told him again and he said the same thing as last time. After two weeks with it continuing I snapped and answered the call and yelled at him “STOP CALLING ME!” And hang up to some it might feel like a shit post but I feel guilty for doing that to someone who I have been friends with for a while.
(The grudge part: I had a friend (who I’ll call mar) since 1st grade. The day I met Carl I went to introduce him to mar and found out the two knew each other and we became a trio. During the year we had a spelling test and mar failed and he was very angry. Me and Carl didn’t think he would be at recess so we sang a part of a song me and Carl liked but mar didn’t (as weird as it sounds we were kids and did weird things like singing at recess) what we didn’t know was mar was coming and he heard us and what I assume got more angry he cane down to me and Carl and gave me the death stare I joked around saying are you gonna kill me he said yes and I thought he was joking and ran next thing I know he darts after me grabs my hood on my coat turns me around and chokes me. A week later I wasn’t talking to mar and every time I saw him I’d give a death stare. Carl constantly asked for us to be friends again and eventually we did after we did everything was fine until 6th grade which was hell. Mar kissed me on the cheek in two occasions (keep in mind I’m male and he is too and I’m 0% gay) one occasion was us winning dodge ball and he said “sorry I got excited!” After doing so and I told the teacher. The second time was when we were lined up after recess when mar wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me I told the teacher and we got ready to go and wait for busses. While we walked to where we waited mar told me “people like you are why I have depression” I instantly got mad and me and him hated each other ever since Carl constantly again asked for me to be friends with mar again and I said no. Ever since mar made school a living hell for me. Constantly going near me and one time pretending to stab and shoot me even contacting me online. I have a grudge at Carl because he constantly begged for me to be friends with mar again while it’s partially my fault if Carl didn’t I most likely wouldn’t have been his friend again and I wouldn’t have been tortured by mar.
So aita?
To make it shorter: my friend calls me once the proceeds to constantly call me day after day even after telling him I didn’t want to call every day.
My friend begs me to be friends with a person who use to be my friend and I caved in and went through a year of hell and now have a grudge against him for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
KVhsl7ogqGW1wO74FZAXaI9eep7sR5wr
|
9wfyn8
|
{
"description": "asking my so to cut online contact with her ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my SO to cut online contact with her ex?
|
I've been with my SO for about 6 months, started dating shortly after she broke up with her ex of 3 years (he cheated on her countless times). Me and her are currently long distance for school.
&#x200B;
When we first began dating she informed me that they were still friends, and are both in the same friends group. I said that was fine, as long as both parties are over things I'm cool with that. But lately there's been some signs that were worrisome for me.
&#x200B;
Her ex is in a different town right now, and lately he has been constantly hitting her up to make conversation, with little excuses -- like asking where food places are, or sending her memes, or just straight up asking her if she's free. I think one time she posted a photo of us eating at a restaurant and he responded with an angry jealous emoji. On top of that he's constantly snapchatting her; every time I'm with her her phone will light up with a new snap from him. She tells me she usually doesn't respond or just responds out of politeness (I completely believe her), and that he snaps the same thing to all his friends (I don't believe this because most of the snaps are very personalized) but so far her lack of response has not shown to deter him in the least. I figure he of all people should know she's not one to chat online (she has a reputation for not texting back), so I'm not sure why he keeps trying to start conversations all the time. Also, since she's barely even entertaining these efforts, it's also strange to me that he hasn't "gotten the hint" and stopped trying. I should also mention that he is by far hitting her up more than any other person on her contacts list.
&#x200B;
This had gone on for a few months now but I'd never brought it up to her. But I couldn't help but feel more and more uncomfortable about it as I'm picking up these things as signs that he's not really over it. I understand that they're supposed to be on good terms and all, but I feel like his actions suggest something more than just friendliness -- not even her closest friends pester her to this extent. In a few weeks he'll be back in town permanently, going to the same school and same program as her, and I can't help but feel like he's going to be even more badgering in person.
&#x200B;
I know it would be ridiculous to ask that she avoid him given that they're in the same friend circle and go to the same school and events, and that he hasn't shown any incredible obvious signs of pushing boundaries yet. But I did ask my SO if she could stop acknowledging his online efforts at starting conversation. I just feel like her current approach is not doing enough to dissuade him and his persistence is making me uncomfortable. I trust my GF not to do anything, but I absolutely don't trust him at all given his questionable morals. He should also know better than anyone that she's wayyy too trusting of a person and I fear that he can take advantage of that.
&#x200B;
AITA? Am I reading too much into things?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
f20OLuQjFT6ACPjvTE43wIw9XvxyV2gw
|
b2rcuo
|
{
"description": "yelling at my kid for refusing to go to a sleepover",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 45
}
|
AITA if I yelled at my kid for refusing to go to a sleepover?
|
My close friend (we'll call him S) asked if her daughter (we'll call her M), who doesn't go out that often, could have a sleepover with my teenage daughter (we'll call her J), who also doesn't go out that often. Seven years ago, J and M were good friends, but they drifted apart after we moved. But since we've come back, S and I have been trying to get J and M to become friends again.
However, J has only put a little amount of effort into making new friends since we've moved, yet she's complained that she still doesn't have any close friends yet, so my wife and I signed her up for multiple activities, like a boat trip with our church and a sleepover with M. No matter what we try, J says no, citing that she doesn't know or trust the people in question, stating that she finds it both awkward and intrusive to go into activities that she isn't a part of, and mentioning how much she dislikes being forced into relationships. Even then, she clearly doesn't understand that our public image is at stake every time she digs a deeper hole for her socially reclusive self. Plus, she doesn't see that my wife and I just want her to be happy again.
So, today, when J turned down the sleepover opportunity with M, I blew up. I said that she's ruining my friendship with S, that she's ruining both her and our family's image, that she doesn't have any friends anyway, that she doesn't have anything to do with her time besides her using her laptop and her phone, that people have begun noticing that she doesn't have any friends, and that she's a bad daughter. It went on for a good thirty minutes, and I do believe that I was releasing work frustrations on her accidentally. My daughter didn't react much, except giving me a slight glare, and that made me feel guilty. However, I still believe that I was right in the majority of what I'm saying. So AITA for trying to get my kid to have more friends?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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w4h5igRP3kxPwiyWh7xVqSKRoJDqiJ0u
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ak8lpl
| null |
AITA from discouraging our family friends from coming over and visiting my mom who just had surgery?
|
My mom had head surgery and one of our family friends called her and said they were going to be in town (for another event) and wanted to drop by after.
When she said she just had surgery.. “we want to see how you’re doing”.
My mom is kind of a pushover, especially when it comes to saying no to people so I sent them this message.
“She just had surgery and is resting. Any movement of the jaw like laughing, talking, etc isn’t good for her and might cause the stitches to open so I’m just worried. If you guys do come over tomorrow, try not to get her active/excited. Again, socializing/talking too much etc might cause her stitches to open.
I know it’s convenient for your mom and family to come over because they’re going to be in town. But her stitches are still fresh and you know she’s going to laugh/talk when she sees everyone. You’re literally family and you know ily so I’m just being super blunt”
Family friends are upset and talking crap about me.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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vCyXJhVnrkPy1K7ztdzBOSeeJQhbIMJl
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awewjg
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{
"description": "not wanting my MIL's boyfriend staying at my house when I am not there. I have two young daughters",
"pronormative_score": 53,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not wanting my MIL’s boyfriend staying at my house when I am not there. I have two young daughters.
|
So I am married with 2 little girls aged 4 and 2. I work abroad and spend a month away at a time so the MIL stays at my house to help with the kids. She recently got a new boyfriend who is an ex alcoholic and according to my wife a pretty nice guy. The problem is that when I go to work he has been coming over and basically living at my house, sleeping there and having free access to my kids. I have spoken to my wife repeatedly about it and said how uncomfortable I am with the situation but she won’t tell her mother to stop it.
I recently returned from work a few weeks ago and was met at my own front door by the MILs boyfriend with no shirt on acting like he fucking owns the place. He had been staying there for a week and even brought his friend over who stayed as well! The women have also been letting him take my older daughter for walks and to the park and stuff and it freaks me out! I know how vulnerable kids are and it makes me feel guilty about being away for work so much but I have to pay the bills.
AITA for wanting to feel like the Alpha in my own house and for worrying that this guy has access to my kids and I can’t seem to do anything about?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
pjYyR0ZVvvPQdMJ0B0a9y5Ct71t4V96K
|
b92a8c
|
{
"description": "smiling when my father said he hates me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I smiled when my father said he hates me.
|
My father has been acting rude towards me for the past 4 years for absolutely no apparent reason he finds almost any reason to yell and scream at me. He's rude to almost anybody he thinks he is better than (which is a lot of people). I can't stand him for this and it brings me to the point where I am no longer emotionally active to him (I don't react when he yells i just stare at him blankly).
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
awq4uz
|
{
"description": "moving in with my girlfriend and not working despite living here for several weeks",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Moving in with my girlfriend and not working despite living here for several weeks?
|
To elaborate, I am 17 years old but am turning 18 this month and I’ve already graduated high school so my mother decided since I’m about to be 18 and my girlfriend and I already have a house she’d let me move.
The original plan was for me to get a job right away and so that’s what I did. The problem is the restaurant I applied for (and others) needs proof of a vaccine that I haven’t received yet in order for them to start me. I also didn’t have an ID prior to applying so I knew I would have to get one after.
I would also like to make it clear that I’ve contributed over $500 from my savings since I’ve moved so it’s not like I’m not helping out financially.
My mother lives 2 hours away from us and I can’t drive because nobody ever had time to teach me or take me to the DMV while I was in school. I needed to get my birth certificate from my mother to get my ID. After a nearly a week of my mother saying she was looking we finally decided she’d lost it and we asked my grandfather if he had it. Luckily he did so we picked it up and went to get my ID later that day. The courthouse said they needed proof of residence such as a piece of mail before they could print the ID so I went and opened a bank account and got a piece of mail from the bank (which took around 4-5 days because the mail didn’t run on weekends). After I finally got the mail and got my ID printed the last step was to get my shot records. At this point my future employer said they’re tired of waiting so they’ll give me until the end of the week and if I can’t get it then they won’t hire me. So I went and called several pediatricians that I went to as a baby to see if I’ve gotten the shot and all of them had said I haven’t yet. I tried to schedule an appointment at the health department and rite-aid but they both said that I would have to have a parent or guardian present in order for them to give me the shot so I’m probably better off waiting until I’m 18 or driving to go to a doctor where my mother can be there. My mother is busy all the time plus we can’t afford to keep driving back and forth all the time so we decided it’s best that I try to get a job somewhere else or wait until I’m 18 (which is only a little over a week away).
Now my girlfriends mother is complaining that I haven’t got a job yet and is talking shit to her about me and saying I need to do more chores if I’m not working (even though I definitely do my share, and my girlfriend sees all that I do)
Her mother lives with us and is also incredibly rude with both of us sometimes and smokes in the house despite us telling her not to.
TLDR; am I the asshole for not starting work yet because the work needs proof of a shot that I can’t get.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
a3nc38htLZCmCXus8PpPKqKnnxmzYnf6
|
b71rbl
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be nice to an Ex-bully",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be nice to an Ex-bully.
|
So the title pretty much sums it up but let me give you some context.
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So lets call this guys Kevin. Kevin was just a general jerk but most of the time he wasn't that bad but he could choose when he wanted to be a major asshole. He would always find something to make fun of about me whether it was my hair, something I said, or even just my face, it totally just destroyed my confidence (generic high school kid btw).
Recently he has been trying to be nicer to people and I applaud him for that. But I still do not forgive him, I believe he needs to earn my respect back by actions instead of saying "I'm being nicer to you".
One example that has happened recently was during lunch. Kevin had wanted me to move in so he could sit with me but I refused because I did not want to be near him. He argued for a while but in the end he ended up walking away after calling me petty.
I feel like he has changed but he does still make fun of me occasionally and sometimes he actually makes some good jokes even if they are at my expense. So Reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting to forgive him or even be in his presence?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
nbJSsxhFUWF0nrz0weE3Ex9LWTgWgrl3
|
a6aifw
|
{
"description": "blocking my stressful but sick friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for blocking my stressful but sick friend?
|
Throwaway. Some background on me: I grew up in a very strict household and I am very motivated by being good and staying away from people's anger. As a result, I do have some codependent traits, loads of anxiety and self-worth issues, and somewhat more difficulty than normal with setting boundaries. I've been working on all this with a therapist, but it takes practice and is hard.
I started hanging out with an acquaintance a few months ago after she reached out to me repeatedly. I knew she had a history of being overbearing and was also an addict in recovery, but I figured people deserve second chances, so I took her up on it.
After a few hangs, things started to seem kind of off. She told me that she was no longer sober and was trying to practice moderation. I know harm reduction looks different for different people, so, again, benefit of the doubt. Around this time, she also started going through A LOT of personal issues (deaths, breakups, relapse, job stuff, etc). I referred her to a therapist, who at one point called me and asked me to take her to the ER for a psych eval (which I did, because I was scared and in shock). She told me she was discharged, but later I learned that she left against medical advice. After that incident, she started referring to me as her best friend.
She developed a habit of texting me very urgently, in a manner that made me feel very pressured to call her or text her. Sometimes I would ask her for space and she would chill for a day or so, but then use high-stakes-sounding texts to draw me back in (either making it sound like an emergency, or like she was mad at me).
On top of all this, she wanted to start a collaborative creative project. I told her "maybe," which she took as an immediate yes. Anytime I told her I wasn't comfortable with an activity or an idea, she would say, "Why?" and when I wouldn't have a real answer outside of just my gut, she would just move along as if I hadn't said anything. On the other hand, anytime I *would* agree to push forward with part of the project, she would not do her part. I encouraged her to make her own art and do her own thing, but I have yet to see any of that.
Over the last couple weeks, she started to make less and less sense. When I took a social media break for a week, she texted me to show me a public note she wrote for me. It was nonthreatening, but it weirded me the fuck out, and after that I spoke to a mutual friend about my concern for her and desire for distance. That friend encouraged me to keep setting boundaries, and that that was something she was used to. Later that weekend, I got some weird texts about her from a random number, asking if I could come pick her up. I didn't respond, but texted her in the morning to ask if she was safe. She "jokingly" called me a name and sent a bunch of nonsense. Later that night she texted me threatening suicide, I told mutual friend, and we agreed to call paramedics. Mutual friend shared a bunch of information my friend never shared with me; particularly severe psychiatric conditions/mood disorders that my friend has that may or may not have been reactivated by a drug relapse. My friend talked her way out of that hospitalization, too. I contacted the therapist I'd referred her to, he said that she had terminated services the day before.
The next morning, I called her and told her that I was not in a place to be in regular contact with her until both of us were more stable. I also told her that she could do whatever she wanted with our project but that I couldn't do it. She flipped out a little, insisting she was stable, but I stood my ground and she said she had no hard feelings. As soon as I hung up, she started texting me and direct messaging me as if nothing had happened. She continued texting me into the next day. I reiterated to her two more times that I needed space before blocking her number.
Now I have her number blocked and I've temporarily deactivated my social media. We have many mutual acquaintances and I know she'll be able to figure out that I blocked her and I'm scared of escalation or retaliation. I feel like I must owe her something, or that I didn't use the right words in my final phone call. But I also feel very drained with this friendship and like I have nothing more to offer here. Texts and phone calls make me jump/get nervous. AITA if I block her on everything and move on?
TL;DR: A friend with a lot of issues became very attached to me and I feel drained and scared; AITA if I block her everywhere?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
qPFAgz5SDIcJdzuY5KHAnuDXPj87XysH
|
attap8
|
{
"description": "being mad at my brother for not paying me my $20 back for half a year",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For being mad at my brother(17) for not paying me my $20 back for half a year??
|
Bit of backstory ~ About half a year ago my brother needed 20 dollars to buy our mom a bday gift. I had some money and lent it to him, making it obvious that I wanted it back soon because we don’t get very much money often.
Anyway we all just got $20, and he refused to pay me back and spent it all so we couldn’t even argue or debate about wether I get the money. When I learned about this I got livid. I yelled at him, making just points like, ‘you owed me that money for half a fucking year, now you’ve got it, what’s the problem here?’ And ‘you owe me 20$, you have $20, why won’t you pay me?’
Anyway that brings us to now. My mom got pretty upset from our arguing and practically threw $20 in my face. I would not feel good accepting this money because it’s not okay. I plan to give it to her soon though, and try to calm the situation. I am livid at my brother right now, and he is livid at me.’
PS I am 14yr old
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
vgGLKBqrFh9aAgYaUNNPrdRbvRfKKufN
|
b1skdh
|
{
"description": "telling a man he can't use our out of order public restroom, or employee restroom",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling a man he can't use our out of order public restroom, or employee restroom?
|
I'm gonna be totally transparent here. I work in retail, surprise. And yesterday a man came in with his daughter who was probably 4-6, I'm not entirely sure.
Now the reason our restrooms aren't public. We have two restrooms in our building. One for employees, one for customers. The customer one has been infamously shoddy. Most notably during this time the chain was broken and the toilet couldn't be flushed. So my upper management decided it's best to just have no public restrooms any longer. We still have the employee one, but inside there is our bank information and spare change and bills. Customers cannot go in there. It's not meant for them. Is it usable by them? Are both restrooms technically usable by them? Yes, they are but.... I think you get what I mean.
Alright now back to yesterday, man comes in, bolts straight back to the bathrooms.
Me: "Sir, I'm sorry my restrooms are out of order."
Him:"Oh come on dude, she's 6 years old."
Me:"yikes, like I say, I'm super sorry, our restrooms are out of order"
Gonna paraphrase the rest here. The guy basically lost his mind on me. I've been in retail for 5 years but never had anyone unhinge the way he did. It was only about 20-30 seconds but he told me to fuck myself about 7 times. A number of other things, went outside, yelled to the other businesses next door that I am refusing to let his daughter use the restroom. All the while I am trying to explain:
Me: "Sir I'm so sorry, the toilet will not flush, it is out of order, it doesn't work. I would if I could, but if she used the restroom in there it won't flush."
Him: " No FUCK you you peice of shit, FUCK YOU."
Basically says fuck you about 6 more times while screaming his head off. I can't honestly remember.
He eventually leaves and his wife comes in. She's super nice, apologizes for her husband, and I end up giving them their items free and some store credit for the next time they are here, because I'm still kinda shaking that they went totally off on me. Now I know I presented it like this guy is the bad guy, and in my mind he is, but am I the asshole for not just letting his daughter use the employee restroom? Is this my fault? Id like to think if I was a 43 year old dad I wouldn't just flip out. There were other restrooms to use. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
kU558QOLzOfkzpEkSZovnqrotih8ptzP
|
as3x1h
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be there for a self-destructive friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Not Wanting to be There for a Self-Destructive Friend
|
tl;dr Friend is on a self-destructive path. I threaten to not be there if he doesn’t go get help.
I have a friend, and I’m one of his best friends if not his best friend.
Recently, he has been talking to me about his issues and feelings because his LDR ex-girlfriend and him broke up over communication issues. Without getting too much into it, this seemed to have triggered some underlying problems my friend already had with a traumatic childhood. He told me he cuts himself, and I have been trying to help him as best as I can with talking. I go to college in another city, so I conferred with another friend who lives near him.
Anyways, a few days ago, I received a Snapchat of cuts on his hand. After freaking out and texting him a lot, I decided to text his dad. It turns out that his dad already knew because someone had called the police on my friend. He sent that snap to a lot of people apparently. Fast forward, we pick him up from the hospital with his dad, and his dad leaves him with my friends and me to talk.
We tried to get him to go see someone at his college, but he thinks that he can handle this himself. Obviously, we don’t really trust him, but we can’t really do anything but try to reason with him. It doesn’t go anywhere. He told us “maybe but probably not.”
So, he wanted to go home, and I drove him home alone. This is where this post comes in. I was upset and frustrated and stressed. I told him that I was considering not being friends with him because he was refusing to get some help. He told me that he doesn’t need it, and he really didn’t like that everyone reacted and wasted his time. I then told him how I couldn’t deal with this, and I really can’t stand to see him go through this alone. I’m not going to say I know what’s best for him because I have no experience in any of this. But I really can’t. He finished with “ok so leave me like everyone else in my life did,” and that made me feel really guilty.
I texted him after saying that I wouldn’t leave him. I’d support him, but I’d highly prefer if he’d get some help. He finally decided to compromise, and he said he’d get help not because he needed it but for his friends.
So, AITA for considering not talking to him because he won’t get help? We’re on good terms now, but this haunts me when I go to sleep.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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WzgWbQ0ek4CoSivstTwCi212NP0iRqAy
|
b8zdo0
|
{
"description": "inviting my friend's ex to my party",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for inviting my friend's ex to my party?
|
So a friend of mine used to date this guy a few years ago. Since the breakup they've had their grievance have since seemingly made up and even hang out together as friends (note: she even said this explicitly in the past). Even when she asks me to go out for dinner or whatever she'll say "I invited [ex]" and I dont think twice.
I've known the guy for a few years as well and since she brought him back into the picture him and I have gotten a little more friendly so I decided to extend an invitation to an upcoming party, along with my friend.
Last night I got a message from my friend asking why I invited [ex] and I explained using the reasoning above. She's upset because 1. She cant bring a date she planned on bringing and 2. That I "should have asked her" and i'm not respecting her point of view. Of course I disagree.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
vkYU6PWq5fs5YTOQ0tfwmHKZlwn7TTIu
|
ako0z5
|
{
"description": "deciding to not sell a car to a woman who didn't show up on time",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for deciding to not sell a car to a woman who didn't show up on time?
|
Not the most thrilling AITA story, but I am kind of feeling conflicted.
Late last year my Mother in law wanted to sell her car, so we posted it for sale on Facebook. We had a lot of people enquire, and wanting to look, but not until the next day.
Anyway, it was around 9pm and this woman asked if she paid in cash, would we sell to her for a grand less than asking price, putting a lot of emphasis on the fact that she had "cash waiting". I asked MiL and she said yes as the car had no battery (which was in the ad). The woman then said she could come that same night, around 10pm and pick it up, with cash. Again, MiL said yes, although not super impressed about her coming that late, but she wanted the car gone. So, we started to make sure everything was in order with the car, double checking there was nothing left inside, my husband even went to charge the battery to see if it still worked so she could test drive. Etc.
It was around 10pm by now, and this woman messages me saying that she can't come now. But that she will be there at 8am in the morning, that way she could bring a battery with her. I say, sure, but is she sure about 8am as others are interested (which is true). She says definitely 8am.
The next moring comes, and not too long before 8am, woman messages saying she will be a little late. I say okay, thinking like 10-15 minutes.
We ended up waiting an hour, and we decided after messing around the previous night, and with other potential buyers waiting, that we wouldn't be selling to her.
I messaged the woman and politely explained this, and that's where it went down hill.
Directly after this message the woman states that she is on her way, and that she just had to get the money out at the bank (although she apparently had cash waiting last night?).
I say again that we are going with another buyer, and she doesn't seem happy, saying she's just near our street, and she had to get money out, got stuck in traffic, that I'm rude, and accuses me of being offered more, and that's the only reason why I am no longer selling to her (genuinely not why, we just didn't want to wait any longer).
I calmly explain again why we went with another buyer, due to the wait, etc. and say goodluck in finding a vehicle.
Looking back, I do feel bad, as I am not usually the type to say no, or change my mind. I'm usually a complete push over, and I do what I can to be helpful. But, I was already running late for things I had planned that morning, time is valuable, and I was not in the mood for people and their shit. Others were genuinely interested like I said, too.
I also had a gut feeling that she was going to try to get the price down even more, or that she was going to cancel again and wasn't even on her way. She just had that vibe.
I told her not to contact me anymore after she said what she needed to, and she thankfully didn't.
We ended up selling the car to a nice lady who paid only $500 less than asking price, and we bought a battery and installed it for her. So, it worked out in the end.
TL;DR:
Woman organized 2 different times to come and buy a car with cash, canceled the first time, then left us waiting an hour the second time.
I explain we're no longer selling to her due to this, and she makes up excuses and calls me rude.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
9p9qZtBBDRRCsCm3BXKdz7lofNHYAvfs
|
arhjkt
|
{
"description": "being mad at my best friend for dating my ex",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Being Mad At My Best Friend For Dating My Ex?
|
Hello guys! There’s a lot to unpack here, I’ll leave a TL;DR at the bottom. Before I start, I’d like to say I really don’t believe in having “dibs” or like, owning people, but it’s a complicated situation
I have been friends with this girl for a few years, and while she’s younger than me, she’s my closest girl friend and we get along really well. She’s been with me through a lot of hard things, such as a breakup with someone I dated for two years.
Speaking of that relationship- it was with someone I’ll probably consider to be my highschool sweetheart(let’s call him Brody) , and was a tumultuous 2 years. I really loved him, but ultimately we fell out of love and he broke up with me May of last year, in a rather inconsiderate way (over text when he had plenty of opportunities to do it in person). I was pretty okay with it eventually, started seeing other people and so on.
My best friend had been in a relationship with this guy we’ll call Adam for about a year. Adam is kind of a douche who doesn’t care about anyone but himself, up until he met my best friend. They were head over heels, but broke up that same summer. My best friend was absolutely devistated. She hung out with Brody a lot as they had been friends for a while, almost as long as he and I dated. It made me uncomfortable, because I still harbored some ill will with Brody, but I kept my mouth shut.
This fall, they got closer and closer, and my best friend one day while talking to me confessed that she had a feeling Brody liked her. I was hurt, and told her I didn’t really want to talk about it, that I was sorry but it was a sore subject. She agreed, said they’d never even be a thing, and dropped it.
She denied being with him up until I caught him kissing her cheek once, where she fessed up. I got emotional (unfair, I know. I’m a teenage girl and sometimes cannot help it). She kept insisting “I don’t want to hurt you” and that if I told her not to pursue the relationship because it made me uncomfortable, she wouldn’t. I think it’s kind of bullshit, because what kind of friend would I be to tell her not to date someone?
So they date. They show up to my events, even cuddled in my bed at one point while I was STILL IN IT, and I get really upset about it. She knows the whole thing makes me upset.
I’m still trying to get over it, and have come to the realization that I’m not fully over Brody. Talking to my best friend yesterday, she confided in me that she doesn’t really feel the same way about him, that she was just lonely and hurting.
Am I valid for being pissed that she pursued a relationship she didn’t even really care about despite knowing it hurt her friend? Or should I man up with my feelings and stop being a bitch? I’m worried I’m inserting myself into a story that doesn’t even involve me, but I just can’t even hear about Brody without hurting, a lot.
TL;DR My best friend dates my long term ex despite knowing it upsets me, reveals she doesn’t even like him that much. Are my feelings valid?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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e1qXwSrgB8xCCR0OlRkoWyK5to35DBe3
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b9dc5p
|
{
"description": "telling my mentally ill friend her drug use is making things worse",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mentally ill friend her drug use is making things worse?
|
So I've had a turbulent friendship with a girl that shares some of my mental health diagnoses for a couple of years. She doesn't work due to illness (+her parents are loaded and she inherited a lot of money ) and spends a lot of her time partying and doing drugs like k and Molly. I used to do both very occasionally and strongly believe mdma should not be used at the frequency she has been bc of the impact on serotonin. She's got severe borderline and bipolar along with a GI condition.
She had a couple rough days last week, and she had done Molly at least 2-3 days that week. She was bummed by minor external triggers so I tried to encourage her to make her next day better by getting outside and enjoying herself since she's getting surgery this week and will be in bed. She told me she was too depressed physically and mentally; I pointed out that using Molly so much had probably put her in a physically depressed state that made her more susceptible to reacting to triggers, explaining s bit what it does to the brain. She flipped on me saying it was all caused by events/external factors and that it was my job to validate her and not "give her advice". Pretty much her only other friends are people she parties with, so no one else is gonna point it out.
I've honestly been ready for this friendship to end, but AITA for telling her i wasn't going to blindly validate her feelings and that she needed to take more responsibility for her suffering by not f'ing with her brain chemistry so much?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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CVHRGYhO6boN2Ie4Ae78bVBPbgoRA5eo
|
avaqe4
|
{
"description": "telling my overweight friend that she needs to take a higher dose of Plan B",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I told my overweight friend that she needs to take a higher dose of Plan B?
|
Hey all, first time posting
My best friend has been seeing a guy for a bit now. They get along really well and today she lost her virginity to him.
Problem is, they had unprotected sex and he did the deed inside her.
She said she plans on buying Plan B in the morning. I remember reading studies about how BMI affects emergency contraceptives. Basically higher BMI women are at risk for emergency contraceptives being less effective.
She is overweight and it is a sensitive issue for her. I want to tell her to get two pills but A) it's more money and B) I feel like it would hurt her feelings.
If I tell my friend to get two pills, WIBTA?
TLDR: My friend who is overweight had unprotected sex and I'm afraid telling her to get two pills would make me the asshole.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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b85l15
|
{
"description": "being mad at my parents",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my parents?
|
I recently got waitlisted by 6 schools in the US. I did get into a UK school with a full scholarship, but I still cared about the US side of things. I was thrilled when I came home today and my mom told me she just got an email from the Admissions office at my top choice. She told me they had a place for me there and how I was at the top of the waitlist. I was ecstatic. April Fools. Not funny at all if you ask me. I got really happy for a moment there.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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VhYBbbyBnBTrwgNmdKNxOodSAszyqpkk
|
b09og3
|
{
"description": "thinking of my ex gf",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For thinking of my ex GF
|
Obvioulsy some context:
My Ex (23f) of 5 years split up with me (24m) at the beginning of summer last year. Being my only relationship ever, and it coming completely out of the blue, it devastated me. I ended up spending all the savings that i had saved to by a house with said Ex on holidays with my friends and drinking myself silly.
A few months passed and started feeling better, i had thrown myself into my Football (Soccer for my US readers) as it was the only time i could take my mind off of her.
Months passed and i felt ready to meet someone else and after spending time on dating apps and speed dating i finally found my current gf (24f).
Since we have met i have been alot happier. We are always laughing, we have similar interest and i am never bored in her presence. Although we have been together for a few months now and i have recently found myself thinking more and more about my previous partner.
My thoughts are mainly about memories we had together, good times and bad times alike. I think about what she is doing now and if she ever thinks of me. I think of her family and how they are all doing and all of their general well being.
I am so happy in my current relationship and i would never want my current partner to think that i am thinking of 'what was', and i wouldn't change anything that happened in the past year as i wouldnt be in the loving relationship i am in now. I just have no idea why i find myself daydreaming and constantly thinking about my previous realtionship when i am so happy in my current one?
AITA for reminiscing about my past relationship and keeping these feelings from my current partner?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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b769o5
|
{
"description": "telling my grandma to stop bringing me clothes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I told my grandma to stop bringing me clothes?
|
Some background: my daughter has recently developed the dreaded "stranger danger" phase, so she's currently petrified of my grandparents. They got pissy about this, so I told them they needed to make more of an effort to actually keep plans and get to know her instead of just for the holidays.
Anywho, they've been making effort, and it's going "meh" as she still kinda freaks out around them, but my grandmother has taken to an odd habit.
She brings me clothes.
Not in my size. Not even in her size. The sizes range from 4 to 14, shoe sizes 5, 7 1/2, and 8. None of these are my sizes. I literally found one shirt out of the multitude that I liked. I was super polite, but after pointing out that none of the other stuff would fit me, she would say "fine, donate it, I just didn't have time to sort it."
The first time I didn't mind.
The second, I didn't mind.
It's nearly every time I see them now, and I'm starting to think that it's just to save my grandma a trip to the donation store. She's also a compulsive shopper.
I've been scared to bring it up because my husband says just ignore it and donate them, but eventually she's going to start asking about these clothes, if I liked an item, so on and so forth.
WIBTA if I just asked her to stop bringing them? Or should I just play along since she's at least making an effort with my daughter? BTW, if it matters, DD is 18M, GM is 68, I'm 29.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ze6dG6z4JFjGzeRmYhmo9kCZjZLJEGc3
|
a6tzc1
|
{
"description": "not accompanying my girlfriend with severe social anxiety on an errand",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not accompanying my girlfriend with severe social anxiety on an errand?
|
My girlfriend of about a year has crippling social anxiety. If we go out, it would not be uncommon for her to nervously shake or to shutdown completely. It breaks my heart to see her struggle with it. She is sometimes incapable of completing the simplest everyday tasks if it requires her leaving the house on her own.
I love her and because of this I will join her on running various errands, meeting appointments, etc. While I’m happy to do that for her sometimes, lately I have been insistent on setting boundaries. Somedays, if I have prior obligations or, frankly, am not feeling up for it, I will decline to help with whatever it is she needs companionship for. This never goes well.
As was the case yesterday when she was hungry and wanted brunch. I offered to make brunch for the both of us because I was also hungry but she said she would rather grab some food down the street. I did not agree to go with her there and instead started on brunch.
While cooking, she left in a fury and texted me how I upset her and put my desires before hers.
She explained that she feels like a burden and that she cannot have gotten food on her own and needed me. I essentially accused her of having an entitlement issue that is completely separate from the anxiety issue. I stressed that she could not fault me for what I did and that I should feel free in a relationship to say “no”.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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noa47VuOgyFTLYI7pO1c5a4EZS0tqPOv
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av6ggc
| null |
AITAH if I opt-out of worrying for my hospitalized cat?
|
Hello all!
Let me start off by saying I love my cat very much. He's my little boy. Much to my husband and I's horror, he's taken a turn for the worse. He's currently in surgery getting a blood transfusion. The vets don't know what it is and all we can do is hope he comes out of it and that we can bring him home again.
Now for my question.
I'm worried during this tricky waiting time, that I'll be in a weird spot with my husband. My husband absolutely adores our pets. He was crying on the phone today when he was telling me the news. He is the sweetest. I love him and will be there for him and my boy as much as I can, however I can. But I feel like I might come across like I'm faking it until we get more information.
It's not that I don't care, it's that there is no reason to be upset or worried if there is nothing we can do in our current situation. We're doing everything we can and right now that's all we can do. I still want to watch good shows, go window shopping, or eat good food. Essentially, I don't want to have to move around being sad until we actually have more information. I'm worried that if I don't fake sad until we hear more, that it will make my husband upset.
Furthermore, if our boy somehow doesn't make it, good forbid, I don't know what will happen.
AITAH?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
CBDfJih6VZ7egq1GCXZAt1AaFJz1LZST
|
b9z9v1
|
{
"description": "still wanting pictures of me and my ex",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for still wanting pictures of me and my ex?
|
My girlfriend of just over a year and I just moved in together, yesterday we were sitting on the couch when one of those Facebook memory notifications popped up, it was a photo of me, my college friends and my ex on a spring break trip we took like 6 years ago.
Me and this ex dated for two years of college and three years after, were pretty serious to the point of discussing marriage and kids and our differences of opinion on those things was what ultimately led to our break up. My current girlfriend gets incredibly insecure whenever Ex is mentioned, not that she's mentioned a lot but when you date someone for five years they're bound to come up sometimes.
Any way I say something like "Wow I can't believe how long ago this was"
I shared it along with typing "When did we get old?" And tagging my college friends (But not my ex)
My girlfriend flips out that "I've just shared a photo of me and my ex to everyone we know" and how it's obvious that "I'm not over her and she's a consolation prize!"
I try to tell her she's overreacting and she's who I want to be with, But at this point she's completely lost it and is going through my Facebook photos sobbing and screaming.
Now when this ex and I broke up, I did a pretty low effort job of removing her from my Facebook page, I changed my cover photo and removed a couple of recent photos, but I wasn't going to go through 5+ years of photos just to be petty, so there were plenty of photos for her to find.
She tells me why don't I just "go be with my ex as that's who I want!" And runs off to her best friends place leaving me standing there like an idiot.
Tonight she comes back ready to talk and the gist of what she said is she wants me to delete everything, Every photo and video in existence of me and my ex she wants it destroyed.
Now I'm willing to take everything off of Facebook, But I'm not willing to delete everything, if I delete every photo of me and my ex I'll essentially be deleting five years of my life, Not just my ex but the trips we went on, my first apartment, first day of work at a real job, I don't necessarily wants these photos now, But when I'm 80 I want to have them to show to my grandkids *our grandkids hopefully.
When I said this my girlfriend called me an asshole and stormed out.
So AITA for wanting to keep a copy of these photos?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
WlllzpQvyTXLWuoynA262HzpwGr8Afn0
|
b4xjcy
|
{
"description": "questioning my supervisor",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for questioning my Supervisor
|
Alright so we had a change in ownership last year and basically nobody likes these owners. They came in and changed everything, arguably for the worst. A rumor popped up that they were subtly trying to push the older employees out (ones who were there before the ownership change) by messing with their hours, ignoring or otherwise not taking any action on complaints. I was talking about it with a coworker when the supervisor overheard. She asked where we had heard this and we didn't have any specific names. She then said if people were going to be forced to leave or fired, that they'd tell her. I asked why. I made sure to not say it with any sass or anything like that. I tried to ask as politely as possible. She glared at me and just said "What?" So I asked "If they wanted people to leave, why would they tell you?" I meant that as what law or whatever is there that requires them to tell her. So, am I the asshole for asking this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ulV3bGXa61Wpymf3sY8YQpZ9qTdTbuC1
|
ay8ub0
|
{
"description": "calling out a friend at work for being lazy",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling out a friend at work for being lazy?
|
I work in a restaurant, and have been in this industry for almost 8 years. I recently got promoted to management ( I haven’t been sent to my training yet however so am still technically not a manager in the store I work for)
I work with a woman, let’s call her Lily. Lily and I have worked at the same restaurant for 3 years. Over the course of those 3 years we have become friends and text each other often.
Because I have gotten this promotion, my management team asks that I “act as a manager” and set a tone. Which makes sense to me. Lately things have been rough at work, new employees don’t know everything they should do and honestly just a lot of people are lazy. Lily and I complain about the lazy people. However I’ve noticed lately that Lily isn’t doing any better than the lazy people. She’s always on her phone. Always ONLY running her food and not caring about the greater good of the restaurant. I told her “you have to be the change you want to see”
This past Monday I was helping out the bartender make drinks for the restaurant, Lily walked up and asked if she could just pour her beer (her ticket for the drink was 3rd down the line) so I said “ no but you can run these drinks to the other tables” she got mad and walked away.
Since then she hasn’t spoken to me. So am I the asshole for telling her to do her job? Being in the restaurant industry means you have to be a team, I can’t just let her do whatever because we are friends and furthermore from a management standpoint that’s not the kind of employee I want.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
uwEUNdbKP3WGee6pZSF0BU81hFcFvFcO
|
acm7f0
|
{
"description": "ignoring what my wife has to say against me wanting to keep Boxing",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring what my wife has to say against me wanting to keep Boxing?
|
So I absolutely love boxing and it's the only thing that got me out of a depressional bind I was in before I met my wife.
I've been boxing for ~4-5 years now, and am only an amateur. Not really any plans on going pro as its just my favorite sport and hobby.
So before I got into boxing I got my drivers license suspended (it still is but I'm not going to get into why it still is as that's more personal). Anyway, I got into a depressional episode and there was nothing that could really get me going, then I turned to boxing. It worked out great cause I could get to work, walk to the gym then have a friend that trained with me take me home, and for the first time in a while I felt alive. I was training for about 6 months and even had 4 amateur fights, and then I met my wife.
While we were dating I was still training and fighting. And then we got married and I moved about 30 minutes from the gym. Going through a canyon that I cant even take a bus to get to the city where my gym is at. This really got to me because I couldn't get the chance to train because my wife had to take me to work and take me back home and she wouldn't wait for me to go to the gym. I understood that sometimes she was stressed from college and work so I never pushed her to take me, and then I just ended up not going anymore. Which resulted in depression again and weight gain.
About mid last year I decided screw it I'm getting back into shape to take fights somehow. I started jogging, I bought a jumprope, and whatever other exercises there were that i could do on my own, i did. I even found out the theres a Sherrif half way house down the street from my home with a weight gym that is open to the public and started going there.
Now, here's where my wife comes in. I havent had proper boxing training in about 2 1/2 years, but I have still managed to get back into shape, and muscle memory is a thing so I'm rust but not horribly rusty. I took a fight last November and it showed how much out of shape I was but I still won thanks to previous training. My wife noticed this and she did NOT like it. Over the holiday I've been talking to my old boxing coach and he thinks I'm able to do a tournament in Reno in March but he wants me to take some single fight before I do. So my plan is, workout like I usually do now and take the fights when they come up, simple, right? Not so simple. My wife is fighting with me telling me that I'm not ready to take any fights at all because I havent exactly been training for boxing. But shes also not willing to help me by taking me to my old gym, not even once a week. I tell her I'll get by as long as I keep working out I'll be fine but she just wont budge. And I'm pretty much thinking now that I dont care what she has to say cause this is what I love to do and if she wants to not support me then that's on her.
I do feel a bit guilty about all this but I dont think it's fair for my wife of all people to be holding me back... am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
G0EyZrMZG6LL07K5LpIA8Ozvuxc0cQRM
|
b4p097
|
{
"description": "being sick and not doing the dishes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA Being sick and not doing the dishes
|
This is my first post ever here so I don’t know if this is kinda a weak one or not
A little backstory to understand everything: I’m a kid still going to school. My parents got divorced in 2013. Both my mom and my dad have found new lovers. I hate my dads girlfriend and I like my moms boyfriend. I always go home to my mom on friday to be there for the weekend.
Roles:
Mom= mom
Dad= dad
My dads girlfriend = dg
Me = me
So this happened yesterday. I had been sick for a few days and was feeling dissy and and had a real bad headache. I had just been sleeping all day when I woke up at around 2:00 pm feeling very hungry so I went out to the kitchen and made myself some soup after I had eaten it I just put the bowl of the left over soup in the kitchen (I was feeling super tired at this point I just wanted to sleep) I went back to bed and woke up at around 4:30 pm to my dad coming home. Dg was home all day but was just laying in bed watching anime (yes, anime). My dad went out to go do the dishes when suddenly dg sees it and rushes out there and starts shouting at my dad saying that I should do the dishes and my dad is all confused over what happens I then come out in to the kitchen when I see dg rushing towards me looking like she’s about to hit me in the face. She doesn’t hit me but she was mad. Luckily I had to leave because I had to get home to my mom because I had this event at my school (which went really well and I’m also feeling way better) so I had to get some stuff at my moms. I luckily also had to stay at my moms house until Monday.
Tl-dr
I’m sick and hungry I then go and make myself some food after I eat I leave the dishes out and fall back asleep. I wake up when my dad comes home. My dad goes and does the dishes when my dads girlfriend goes insane on him and me for me not doing the dishes even though I’m clearly very sick
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
tIbupW0ft3xNd6KY5fg7vBU8W8PsLW6R
|
aurp6k
|
{
"description": "not expecting to pay as an invited guest",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not expecting to pay as an invited guest?
|
A couple of my roomates/best friends from college live in a nearby city. I'm in medical school, so I'm quite stingy with cash. One of my old roomates is also in medical school, but with a substantial scholarship and the other roommate has a nice paying job (like 60-70k). Earlier this month they asked me to come up and visit and hang out with them on a Friday night. They told me they were gonna get wine and cheese and we were just gonna hang out. I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it, and they checked back multiple time to see if I could come (which I really appreciated). When I got there, I drank one glass of wine but brought the rest of the alcohol I drank with me. I had a good amount of (nice) cheese and crackers as well that they bought. We had a great time and it was awesome to see them for the first time over a month.
However, at no point leading up to that night did anyone ask me to buy in or mention what it would cost. I even talked with them while driving to their place and they didn't mention it. The day after, I got a venmo request for over $16 by my friend with the job. I was caught off guard, because I thought they had invited me as a guest and weren't expecting me to pay. I really don't mind paying my fair share, but since they didn't mention so much as a price beforehand I thought they were just being nice. I figured my friend would be aware that I would need to know this beforehand since he knows I am super poor right now. I haven't talked to my other friend who is also in medical school about it, so I don't know how he feels about it or if he even knows the other one requested payment. I paid the request, but politely mentioned that in the future he needs to let me know if he wants me to buy in as well as what it costs, but he brushed it off. I'm not like angry or anything, just annoyed. I feel like when you invite a guest to something you were already planning, the norm is to not expect payment, especially without warning?
AITA? I honestly don't know and I feel like I'm being petty about it (this post feels ridiculously long). Thanks for the feedback.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
6xgmlQisVeXgjxyxUBhkxWCDhYz6p2ij
|
aaagw6
|
{
"description": "wanting to see a movie a different time",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to see a movie a different time?
|
Okay so I'll keep it short.
Me and my friend are both not 18 yet, and he is staying over at my house. We wanted to see a movie, which we would originally see at 15:30, but I thought it would be better to see it at 18:45, so we could still have a free day, instead of this over 2-hour movie taking up a big chunk of our afternoon.
So my mom says that she doesn't like that, and I explain my reasoning and she says she'll think about it. I explained it to my friend, and he's all okay with seeing it at 18:45. My mom asks him about this (If he's okay with it) and he tells her that he doesn't care how late he sees it.
So here's the thing. My mom now says she feels like she's been put under pressure, because we both want it moved and she can't really say no, which I could understand, if she wasn't being so childish about it, saying that she feels manipulated, and when I say that my friend feels really uncomfortable, she says:"well who's fault is that then?" It's not like she has to bring us to the movies, or that she wants to go with us.
TL;DR
I wanted to see a movie at a different time, my friend was okay with it, mom ain't like that shit because she wants us to be home when it's evening (not what she said but she didn't give a reason so that's probably it), and now she feels manipulated.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
wOpCQviDaZ8MtGSiBpFra6fZeKizpPt6
|
ahv5qa
|
{
"description": "telling my wife I'll make her \"bark like a dog\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my wife I'll make her "bark like a dog"?
|
Alright hear me out. Due to my previous posts/comments, I'm sure I already know the answer, but this is different. Well, different-ish.
My wife asked me to run to the store to get diapers and wipes. She told me earlier, but I forgot. We still had a few left, but we don't like gambling like that. When she brought it up again, I instantly got my pants on and started out the door. But I forgot my jacket, so I walked back in, and i hear my wife telling her sister "I just made him go.."
And that's when I jumped in. "You just made me what? What did you make me do?"
All joking around of course. That's how we tease each other. Then I kept it going. "You didn't make me do nothing. I'll make you bark like a dog right now if you wanna make each other do things."
So then she got ready to wrestle/ tickle fight, but we just laughed it off, as it was late and we didn't want to wake up the kids with our shenanigans. Well, apparently her sister didn't like that, and told her afterwards that she was worried I might actually abuse her.
I should add that her sister and I have our differences. I don't want to go to deep into it here, but her sister didn't like the fact that I am adamant in the way I want things done in our relationship. I swear it has always been in the best interest of our kids and ourselves. But she hates that I am stubborn. So now my wife says I should tone it down. In my house. That her sister is currently a guest in. My wife knows how I am. There are times I do take a joke too far, and I'll own up to that. But I don't believe this is one of those times.
So am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XPteq6tY2l6RvDyog0jasK5tRlGAxum2
|
awg24z
|
{
"description": "getting me and my GF Yelled at the movies",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For Getting Me and My GF Yelled at the Movies
|
So I went on a date with my girlfriend to the movies. We sat next to this family of 4 (wife, 2 daughters, and husband). During the movie we occasionally laughed at the funny scenes and kissed a bit during the romantic scenes. After the movie ended we were about to leave, then the husband of the family gets up and approaches us. He says "You guys need to shut the f*** up". Mind you his daughters were there too maybe 9-12 yrs old. And literally walks away. My girlfriend and I were shocked and didn't say a word. During the movie this man did not even ask us to be quiet. Later we walked into the lobby and the man is just staring at us. The wife later makes a comment and says "my daughters behavior was better than yours". We both just walked away and did not want to escalate the situation. Later me and my gf just talked about it for a bit. Although she didn't seem too bothered I thought that it kinda ruined the mood the rest of the date. AITA in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
9tq3lUjxGL8psJ2wbyHGjB6kHx9er68b
|
ah3g86
|
{
"description": "still not liking my step brother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for still not liking my step brother?
|
There's a lot of family drama history but the background is that I left my mom (parent's divorced) to live with my father and it created a lot of problems for her and my step brother. He had some issues before, but it created some more problems for him and it created issues for her. I came back several years ago because my father is a sociopath and I genuinely feared for my personal safety being physically near him.
&#x200B;
When I first came back, my brother was obnoxious and extraordinarily selfish. Due to the issues with my father and whatnot, I suffered from SEVERE depression for a really long time. He was younger, like 13-14 at the time, so I understand that's a factor, but he would do things like make so much noise at night that he could be heard from anywhere in the house. Parents worked shift work and every 2 weeks they would work afternoons and not be home until after 11. So it was just me and him in the house and he'd be so loud and I'd be so desperate to sleep that it'd give me massive anxiety attacks. There's other stuff, but that's the major thing he did.
&#x200B;
He's gotten a lot better since, but I don't think he's still overall a great person. He isn't loud at night any more, but he's just generally a self-absorbed person. He doesn't think about the consequences of his actions towards everyone else is still quite lazy. I can't remember the last time he has helped clean up after dinner, has to be told to put away his dishes or he'll just leave them and walk away. I get that he has problems and that things can he harder for him, but my parents enable him, too. My mom is the reason he gets a job because he did nothing for months and she did all the work for him. The job before the one he has now, mom filled out his application for him and submitted it for him and when he had an interview she coached him on what to say based on what she put in his application.
&#x200B;
There's still things that he does that's frustrating. The other week he shaved and left his beard hair all over the sink in our shared bathroom until it was cleaned up by someone else. He didn't think that he should have to clean it up. He's still really, really rude to my parents sometimes. My car was blocking his in, we weren't home and he had to go to work. 3 cars in the driveway, only 2 rows, so someone is blocked in at any given time. There's been times where I've had to move his truck to get out, it's no big deal. Everyone keeps a spare set of keys by the door and we just move the car and put the keys back. It's literally never been an issue before. He couldn't find my spare set of keys (where they've always been) and drove over our lawn to get out of the driveway. Calling my mom every 5 minutes and saying how awful she was and swearing at her.
&#x200B;
Anyways, before I ramble on too much. He's improved a lot and I recognize that, but he's still a really incredibly difficult person to live with. Am I being butt hurt and not giving him the credit he deserves or is his behaviour not good enough to warrant me liking him?
&#x200B;
P.S. - He's my brother, still. Even if I'm not a fan of him, I'm still there if he needed me. If he called me at 4 am and said he was stuck in the middle of no where or whatever, I wouldn't hesitate to go and get him. My mom has always taught me that family is very important and I try to hold that value.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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