id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
HrAyE5DskctzypVSazol7lPxjMing4nY
|
9x85j9
|
{
"description": "telling my nephews that they should be the bullies not the victims",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for telling my nephews that they should be the bullies not the victims?
|
Sadly my Nephews (11M and 12M) get bullied at school and I dont agree with the pacifist education of my brother and his wife that leaded to them being victims at first. I told them to be happy and defend their honour they need to beat the main bully up and get revenge for everything, it would be the best if they destroy his life. Also I bought them a pepper spray so they can defend themself. Now my brother is really angry because this doesnt fit his pacifist believes. I think he is the asshole since he completly ignores the fact that his children get bullied and I just try to help them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
af8eZaG4cdaA3da0TZNuKX0FZgjJQlpl
|
9u61xd
|
{
"description": "finding this homeless guy annoying",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finding this homeless guy annoying?
|
Background: I work downtown in a city with a very large homeless population, across the street from a homeless shelter. Sometimes homeless people come in and use the bathroom, grab a free cup of coffee, etc, and so long as they don't make a scene and aren't bothering customers I don't mind them.
But then there's one in particular who annoys the ever living shit out of me.
He is an older gentleman, maybe in his late 50s, early 60s, and he's definitely developmentally disabled. Like he can get around, but he's definitely on the spectrum. He is nice to everyone, but has no sense of social cues, talks to anyone who will speak to him, and interrupts sales conversations with customers. Sometimes, he hangs out in the store for hours, and customers leave because he annoys them. He annoys me too, but I don't say anything to him because I feel bad. Am I the asshole for hating when this guy comes in, and would I be an asshole if I told him to stop coming in because he interrupts business and drives away customers?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0v99h8p5SWYw8cC6LD2xsHQ37grLlGng
|
axosx6
|
{
"description": "being honest with my brother-in-law about his family",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being honest with my brother-in-law about his family?
|
My wife and I have been together since high school. Due to her brother being 6 years older, he was already out of the home when I came around, living in a different state, so I saw him infrequently. When my wife and I married, we moved to the same state as BIL and started seeing each other much more often.
In the 20+ years I've been with my wife, I've learned a lot about her family, not just from what I've observed, but from what she has shared with me. All in all, they're good people, I love them and consider them family, I'd do for them as I would my own biological family. But they have their quirks, the main one being that they do everything possible to make sure they look "perfect" to all outsiders - quotes because that word gets used perhaps more than any other in their family. Unfortunately, as my wife has so humbly pointed out to me (and her therapist), this means any indication that something is not perfect triggers insecurities that leads to tension, which of course is always the responsibility of the perfection questioner. This goes pretty deep, so for the sake of brevity, I'll cut to the chase.
My BIL and I got to know each other fairly well and, despite some differences, were cool with each other. A few years ago, we decide to do a strenuous all day hike together. The day was great, to the point I felt we'd actually gotten closer. With 2 miles left, we're only an hour from our car, my BIL suddenly says something that catches me completely off guard:
What is it about my family that you hate some much?
I ask him what the fuck he means and he says he knows I think his parents were shit and that I "don't know what the fuck I'm talking about," then tells a few anecdotal stories that were clearly fed to him by his other sister and mom. Then he said:
> Think what you want, my parents were perfect, they couldn't have done any better.
It clicked, and I responded:
> That's the issue, you're all so caught up in looking perfect that you fail to see reality. Believe it or not, all the things you just accused me of came from your sister (my wife), not me. I'm the one who has spent hours reminding her how great you all are and how terrible it would be to cut off communication with you. But no, she's perfect, just like all of you, so this is all on me. I'm used to it, your sister spent the first few years of our marriage blaming me for her insecurities, and thankfully, she had the courage to look inside herself. I love you, I love your parents, and I love my wife... despite all of the imperfections.
The rest of the hike was quiet, then I put on comedy on our 90 minute drive home, which lightened things up a bit. This was a few years ago, and since then, my BIL has kept his distance from me. When I told my wife about the whole incident, she completely sided with me and even said, "Now imagine being raised with that your whole life."
Still, I've waffled between feeling like I did the right thing and feeling like a complete asshole. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
WcecdbYjfwp9eowK4xPd0SFsuNYnlxln
|
b7y6ju
|
{
"description": "being frustrated that my roommate has people over without telling me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being frustrated that my roommate has people over without telling me?
|
Obligatory sorry for bad formatting, I'm on mobile.
Okay for some backstory. I live in a small rural college town in a one bedroom apartment with my "friend." From the very beginning I said I didn't think either of us could ever say that each other couldn't have people over and agreed that we wouldn't have people over at unreasonable times. That being said I also asked that he tell me if he's having people over and he agreed.
Roughly 8 months and one break up later an additional rule is that my ex can under no circumstances be at the apartment. (Things didn't end that bed, just rough emotionally on me, but roommate is still friends with her.) My roommate has since been super weird about people coming over, sometimes telling me, and sometimes not saying anything until he finds out I'm coming home or he tells me right before he knows I'm on my way. This isn't just frustrating because he blatantly ignores my (imho) very simple courtesy request, but also because of the way he sneaks around it. He'll text me to ask when I'm home, like tonight for example. I was on my way back from out of town and was supposed to arrive around six. I got invited to hang out with a friend and I texted my roommate to tell him I'd be back at closer to midnight. As I'm scrolling through my social media feed I see that he has people at the house. I decide it can wait and don't say anything. At 11:30 he asks if I'll be home soon. I reply
"Probably, btw i really don't apparently you not telling me you're having people over. We've talked about this multiple times"
*Seen*
"Seriously it's not that hard to text me, for instance, instead of asking when I'll be back so you'll know whether or not I'll come back while they're there friggin just tell me you're having people over"
*Seen*
When I come home he's on his computer and I have some small talk and start unpacking my stuff. As I set up my desk I notice that my bag of little popper things which was full, is now almost empty. I ask him about it as he pops into a call and he says that they used a few (they used like 3/4 of the bag) I tell him how rude that is and he avoids eye contact and says he'll buy me more. I tell him that's not what it's about it's about the blatantly lack of respect for me. I bring up the having people over and he basically blows me off. I just don't even know what to say to him. He's so apathetic it's extremely frustrating and makes me wonder if I'm being ridiculous.
Sorry for being so wordy, looking forward to a verdict.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nLAuEVKxOK7S6Ep0JdJ0eWE70DjQqgBn
|
anwor2
|
{
"description": "fixing a project",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for fixing a project?
|
Hey this happened a while ago, but I am still really thinking about it so here I go.
It was the summer of 2018, and I got an internship at the science center. I lived in St.Louis and was 16 years old. I worked down on center stage, but on that particular day I was sent to the first floor to test a new exhibit. While he got prepared I was told to go out on the floor. I am not really that great at social situations so I tried to avoid people as much as I could. Encouraged to help where I could, I saw an amazing creation somebody had made (There was an air tunnel where the ball would go through a series of pipes and end up at the end. ) This kid had created an open version where it would shoot from one pipe to another in open air. I was legitimately impressed but saw one flaw. The ball kept getting caught on a pipe and fall. Seeing this kid was struggling, and being an anti-social I went to fix it. Then the mother saw me. And holy shit I got chewed out. She was quiet but SO LOUD at the same time. A lot of people were looking and I had to take it because ; again , anti-social. Plus I have a past of bursting into tears at the smallest things so I was focusing on not embarrassing myself. She said things like "You should have let my child take care of it!" and "You should just go away!" I was called in a moment later and went on with my day.
​
TL;DR : Fixed a project and got chewed out
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
sba0aOqOJDhL4vGCUfL0gtCW1IwXZC8I
|
alw6nb
|
{
"description": "making my so quit smoking",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making my SO quit smoking?
|
Since before thanksgiving, I’ve been sick with asthmatic bronchitis and had to quit smoking for my health after 12 years. I got together with my SO in 2014 and he picked up the habit of smoking. Since I’ve been sick, I’ve asked I’m to take my health into consideration and see how the smell and irritant effects me and the asthma part of my sickness.
Since I’ve asked him to stop, I’ve been called inconsiderate and unsupportive in seeing how he feels towards the situation and the effort he puts forward in quitting. But how can I see the effort if he continues to smoke a vape pen and buy cigarettes because “it’s the weekend”. He feels like I step on him every time he lights a cigarette. I’m angry because he didn’t keep a promise he made when buying cigarettes that he would not smoke when I’m home to make it easier for me. Since that false promise, I’ve been salty and disappointed at him. I feel that I can’t properly heal because the irritant is everywhere from his clothes, hair, skin, etc.
I’m tired of having this fight with him, justifying why he gets to smoke. I’m tired of not being able to breathe and waking up at night coughing and having asthma attacks. I can’t even lay with him because the smell is so bad. He does try by taking showers and washing his hands, but i don’t see that as a strong effort.
TL;DR Am I the asshole for making him stop smoking?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
RriHDJUB1Ey2w9wBrMX5yKk34BwgbqwM
|
atz1pg
| null |
AITA my gf dog keeps peeing and pooingl on my stuff, I refuse to clean it up and am starting to get upset and want her to take her dogs bathroom habits more seriously.
|
So I moved in about 3-4 months ago things have been good relationship wise besides the dog. I love the dog shes great but she has a bad habit of pissing everywhere and shitting everywhere. More now that she got pregnant...
The occurence is probably around 3 times a week at this point and has shit and pissed a few times on my stuff a few times, which has me fairly disgruntled. Ultimately its my gfs dog but I do help out feeding and walking, occasional bath etc I however refuse to clean up her dogs shit and piss in the house.
Also the dog seems to have some sort of anxiety issue, for instances every time we come home she gets so excited she pisses herself, ive trained her that when we get home she is to immediately go outside and this has helped in the pissing department tremendously but we can step out for 2 hours and she will piss herself out of excitement to see us, so this is now nearly a ritual of her needing to be placed outside everytime we leave and come back nearly.
Also likewise if we leave at this point the dog needs to be locked up or else there is a 90% chance she will piss or shit on something.
My girlfriend is just like "thats the way she is" more or less and ive been around lots of dogs and believe this is just negligence on wanting to be more strict.
Its not like we dont take her out several times or more a day in order to facilitate her bathroom needs, it feels like my girlfriend just doesnt want to be more strict with her dog when she makes a mistake in the house.
Am I the asshole for being upset about this issue and not cleaning her dogs mistakes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
mFSw2f6BKFfZWKOnFuhAvOP8dG7ldjJy
|
ael26h
|
{
"description": "dumping my ex by text ..... two times in 2 months",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for dumping my ex by text ..... TWO TIMES in 2 months
|
I was in a relationship with a guy for around 4 months and he was great gentle...etc in short the perfect guy but i was 18 yrs old at the time and i was heading for college and even though i liked him i didnt want to be in a serious relationship . I wasnt sure how he would take it so i took the easy way out i just sent him a text and surprisingly he took it well and that's it we broke up BUT a few weeks while i was going through difficult situations i missed him and the easy flow of our relationship so i contacted him apologized for my behaviour and we got back together only for me to break up with him again BY TEXT 3 weeks later.
Even though 3yrs have passed since then i still feel guilty about it . AM I REALLY AN ASSHOLE/BITCH ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
GYXLFboeguA9M5AkEUbzzxtS2RLU5YMS
|
avc4l9
| null |
AITA: On the time I dickpunched an 8-year-old.
|
So this happened when I was in like Year 2 or 3 at school (I'm now at uni) so I don't see this guy anymore but I'm just wondering what y'all think about what I did to him because it makes me feel hella guilty when I think of it even after all these years.
Almost every morning, he would wait at the classroom door, grab my arm and hold it tight so I couldn't pull away and he would kiss it up and down. No one stopped him though it was in full view of all the parents dropping off their kids. I hated it. It was gross and annoying.
Worse was that he and his friends would follow me around the oval and the playground at recess and lunch. I told him to leave me alone and they just laughed - not maliciously, they honestly just thought it was a fun game. A fun game that annoyed the hell out of me.
One day I decided I had had enough. I had run from the playground, him close on my heels as I hurried down the grass hill, and I just decided I was done with this. I turned around and just punched him straight in the crotch. I still remember the anguished and heartbroken look on his face as he crumpled to the ground. I turned and marched off as his friends descended to help him.
I feel like I was an absolute bitch for what I did. I know I was just a kid but so was he - he had a crush on me and didn't know how to express it. He didn't deserve a dickpunch.
Help me get closure on this old AF memory that's stuck with me all these years - was I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
U6zGd8gA0Aq83Aa790QV92dxJYmUIJuH
|
9zbxyy
|
{
"description": "wanting to play red dead redemption 2",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to play Red dead redemption 2
|
So I bought my boyfriend red dead and he hasnt touched it since it came out, I went to his house and asked to play it since he hasnt played it, he got all pissy and didnt allow me to play it saying I got it for him and that he didnt want me to play it because he wont play it at all then, and I told him that was extremely selfish because I highly doubt he has any intentions of starting it anytime and he has been playing black ops on pc and recently hasnt been playing anything. He is notorious for not finishing most games.
TDLR: bf pissy because I asked to play a game I got him and he hasnt touched.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2kgPV8nTXvrgclvngXT65mFufGGejTyF
|
a1znmn
|
{
"description": "waking up my dorm roommate at night because he snores too loudly",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for waking up my dorm roommate at night because he snores too loudly?
|
For nights I haven't been able to sleep at all because he always snores so loudly. Since we all share the same room together, there's not really any way i can get away from it. So one night i tapped his shoulder a little and that got him to wake just enough for the snoring to stop, and then went back to bed. Next morning i told him his snoring is really loud and he said he was sorry but he didn't know what to do about it either.
I'm confused (and sleep deprived). help
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
7RMX6biep54Hvsykzi7Fs6YePciC4iSl
|
a6onwm
|
{
"description": "cutting off close friends that ruined my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 407,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for cutting off close friends that ruined my birthday.
|
Let’s start by saying I don’t have a lot of friends. I organized a birthday dinner and invited my best friend and her girlfriend (who is also a close friend). I asked them weeks before the date and then confirmed a few days before hand both times they said they were definitely coming. Keep in mind it was my best friends birthday a few weeks before mine, and I made sure I attended a gaming night she hosted in celebration, and bought her a thoughtful gift.
I made a reservation at my favorite restaurant, arrived 15 minutes early on the night to make sure I was there when they arrived. Half an hour passed and I thought it was strange they weren’t there/I hadn’t heard from them. They were both active on Facebook so I messaged them asking when they were coming. They both read my messages and did not respond. I sat at my favorite restaurant eating my favorite food alone on my birthday. I did not hear from them at all regarding the dinner (not to mention they did not even wish me a happy birthday) and then in the following weeks they invite me to a Christmas dinner they’re hosting for a group of friends. Of course after what’s happened I decline the invite and instantly get a message asking why I’m not coming.
I am furious. I am somebody that forgives people for literally everything, and I feel like that’s the reason they’re shocked I haven’t just got over it. As well as anger I can’t help but feel incredibly guilty for declining their invite. Am I being an asshole if I just cut these people off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 406,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 13
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 407,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
RIGHT
|
CMgKLoz1VIqNUxM7fOz819osdCgmKvop
|
aetdom
|
{
"description": "being upset at my gf of 2ys for saying rude things about my friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset at my gf of 2ys for saying rude things about my friends?
|
Throwaway account because
Ive been with my girlfriend for 2, almost 3 years. We had broken up for 6 months at one point late 2017. In that 6 months I made new friends, which have been good friends of mine since.
When me and my gf got back together, eventually my friends wanted to meet her. On occasion even to this date theyve invited her over with me to have a little party, or even to hang. But only after hanging with them about 3 or 4 times, my gf told me at dinner by ourselves that she doesnt like them, that theyre not nice or theyre bad. She says they act as if they dont want her around. And she said shes never coming to hang out with them again.
But from my perspective, they have been very kind to her. And she hasnt spent enough time with them for anyone to really be rude to her or push her out. It upset me as it hurt my feelings for my girlfriend to insult my friends.
We havent said much to eachother these past couple days. Im passive aggressive which I think is a bad thing and i feel bad for not wanting to talk to her too much. Is this something to really make a deal over?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
67rhEWB67LIM7ie6yC6Xm4CrBVZJAy14
|
anueke
|
{
"description": "refusing to leave the dog park just because ignorant owner thinks play is fighting",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for refusing to leave the dog park just because ignorant owner thinks play is fighting
|
I’ve been going to the same dog park for about a year, we go to the large dog side because I have a Siberian Husky but he’s on the smaller side, about 45 pounds. He has some regular friends there that he loves to play with.
One day this guy with a Boxer shows up, and his dog comes in and is very energetic and excited, probably around the same age as my dog, who is a year and a half.
My dog greets the Boxer, and they immediately start to play, running around, chasing each other and wrestling. Both the dogs’ tails are wagging, they are both taking turns with who is the instigator of the play, and they take breaks to get water together at the water fountain. All of the common signs that both dogs are enjoying themselves and neither is scared or intimidated or being harmed.
However, this other dog owner complains that my dog is bullying his dog. I’m pretty confused, because there is absolutely no bullying going on, although they are energetic. He also mentioned that he started coming here because his dog was getting bullied at another dog park, which made me think that maybe he doesn’t understand how dogs play.
The next day, he comes in after we’d been there for a little while, and he asked how long we’ve been at the dog park, and then suggests that we should leave so he can ‘have a turn’. I tell him that this is not a private backyard, and my dog is doing nothing wrong, and we won’t leave. He says he doesn’t like them playing like that because he doesn’t want his dog to look “like a junkyard dog”.
As our dogs play, I tried to point out to him the common signs that dogs are having fun, as well as the signs that a dog is being harmed or a fight is about to start.
Then he asked me, “what if we were at the park with our kids, and your kid was punching my kid in the face over and over again, would you just say that it’s fine?” I told him, “if my kid was punching your kid I would take action immediately, but if our kids were throwing a ball back-and-forth and having fun and you were panicking thinking that your child was being harmed, I would calmly explain to you what normal play looks like.”
Then my boyfriend brings the dog to the dog park the next day, and has almost exact same encounter with him. But this time, there is another lady there who also seems to be very panicked and high stress, and is interpreting any normal dog play as fighting. According to my boyfriend, some of the other regulars who have the very energetic dogs left because they were so uncomfortable with these people claiming that their dogs were starting fights. He stayed for a little while longer but then both of these dog owners ganged up on him, calling our dog a bully.
There is always that occasional person who comes in and thinks that it is their private backyard, and wants to throw a ball with their dog but have all the other dogs leave them alone, but this is a new level of ignorance and entitlement.
We have been hesitant to come back here now just because of the stress, but I don’t think it’s fair that our dog suffers just because other people either don’t understand their dogs or don’t actually want their dogs to socialize and want to treat it like their own private backyard.
TL/DR: A new Boxer and owner started coming to a dog park where we are regulars, the dogs immediately took to each other and are clearly friends and love playing together but he interprets play as aggression (tails are wagging and both dogs come back to each other to start playing) and thinks that I should leave the park when he comes in to let each dog “have their turn “.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
NJ2XQUQQirbNxeiUg1ZyiLsmtLUuUlQf
|
a77m8b
|
{
"description": "not staying awake while waiting for my friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not staying awake while waiting for my friend?
|
I invited my friend to go eat with me. He suggested that he'll drive to my house and we'll switch cars at my place.
I told him to come over in ten minutes. I asked for ten minutes so I can get a nap in. I did not tell him what I was going to do with the ten minutes.
Friend leaves his house 13 minutes later. He arrives at my places around 17 minutes later. He calls, texts, messages me on Facebook saying that he's here.
I do not respond as I'm knocked out. I check my phone wondering why no one knocked on the door.
Usually, when my friend comes over, they knock on the door and are let in by my family. I assumed the same in this situation as we were planning to switch to my car when he got to my place...
He's upset now because I did not respond. I debated with him that if we were planning to switch cars like how we planned, he would have knocked on my door. But, instead, he just waited outside for 5 to 10 minutes spamming my phone.
My car is visibility noticiable on my street.
Am I the asshole for not waiting for him? He thinks I'm trolling him. He could have knocked on my door like how he usually does when he arrives to my hour with my other friends.
I'll post my conversation with him via imgur if needed.
Tldr: invited friend to eat. Told him to give me 10 minutes before heading to my place. I fell asleep when friend headed over to my place. Friend did not knock on door and gets upset that I am not responding via my phone to him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
1M6T433GZaA9pKKlRrVItI0r2jLR2zNa
|
a9530d
|
{
"description": "not wanting to work and go to school full-time",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not wanting to work and go to school full-time?
|
So a little background to start (sorry if this gets rambly) , I'm a 21 year old student working on a degree in marine biology. Where I was living before I had kinda reached my full potential as far as how much I was getting out of the schools there which didn't have many courses for my specific degree and on top of that a shitty home life made me itching to find a change of scenery. Luckily for me at the time my family who lives near the university I was eyeing already knew of my situation and offered to let me stay with them while I took some courses and waited for my in state tuition to kick in to go to that university, seemed like a no brainier to take them up on such a generous deal. Fast forward a little bit to this last August I had trouble getting financial aid for school (probably because I moved states) when they suggested I get a job, I agreed at the time just to have something to do while I wait for the next semester. About a week later they really started pushing for me to find a job telling me that they were still more than happy to take care of the necessities but if I wanted money for hobbies and such I needed a job, made sense to me I was just grateful they were letting me stay there. Ended up getting some jobs semi regularly through a temp agency and I thought everyone was content with that, it was slightly annoying having no permanent place but not too bad. Later they suggested that I start pitching in for gas since I was borrowing their extra vehicle again made sense to me and only seemed fair. After about a month of the temp work all of sudden the opinion of my job started to shift and they became somewhat pushy about me finding consistent work, I was a bit confused by this but didn't faze me too much since I had already been looking for something more permanent. Pretty much the only kind of job I actively avoid is fast food but after a week later all of a sudden they were very pushy about me getting a fast food job, I didn't really want to but again I felt obligated to because of how generous they were being letting me stay. Then the subtle nudges of getting my own car started which kinda threw me off because the only time I use a vehicle if for the job they wanted me to get, I wasn't getting a lot of hours at work so they said I needed to get a full-time job to save for a car citing reasons of driving myself to work (their idea), more freedom (Im a homebody that doesn't really like going out much) and lastly driving myself to school. This kinda drove up my anxiety as I thought of when I tried to balance work and school before (spoiler: didn't work very well and gave me a major bout of depression) because if I have a car that means insurance and gas and maintenance ect;. I didn't really sign up for this especially because I was planning on living on campus and not like a hour and a half away, I'm trying to be grateful but it feels like at this rate I'll be railroaded into balancing work and school. Am I just being a lazy entitled person here only wanting to focus on school?
TLDR: Family seemingly went from supportive of me going to school full-time to wanting me to work full-time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
iRIOE9HmmCaXPCje5K57iLJE9Z8xQJ8K
|
ap4vrd
|
{
"description": "picking my neighbors lemons without asking",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for picking my neighbors lemons without asking?
|
We had new neighbors move in behind us about a month ago. Since we wanted to make lemonade, we picked about 7 lemons. Now these lemons were on our side of the wall, so we didn't climb on or over the wall to get the lemons.
Our new neighbors must have seen us or saw the tree moving, because an hour later we saw the neighbors picking the ENTIRE tree bare. After this, we never heard or saw them again.
Our old neighbors didn't care, so I guess we just assumed they would be okay with it as well.
P.S. The tree was about 20 feet tall.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
oYOWACbWA0JlHXSiV9WLaZdHmjX7b8am
|
ar584z
|
{
"description": "getting one a gift but not the other",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I got one a gift but not the other?
|
I'm a "middle child" and have 2 siblings - an older sibling who is turning 32 in a week from now and a younger sibling who is turning 22 at the beginning of March.
I have always bought presents for both of my siblings on their birthdays (as they do for me).
Now that my older sibling is turning 32 I don't really feel like doing the whole birthday present thing anymore but I still want to buy a present for my 22 year old sibling....I feel like I am going to look like an asshole if I don't get my older sib anything but then a week later turn around and do something for the younger one. I dont want to make my older sibling feel uncomfortable or unloved ..its nothing personal...but...like when is the cut off??
I thought about possibly just doing something small for my older sib but once again dont want it to seem like I put a bunch more thought into the younger sibs gift...
Would this make me an asshole?
TLDR - would I be an asshole if I bought my younger 22 year old sibling a birthday present when I didnt buy my older 32 year old sibling a present when their birthdays are only a week apart
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
tWocoVMS90OBzAfVOcsY7FWfD352F1Mt
|
a2ee1x
|
{
"description": "not taking my mate to work anymore even though he works less than 5 minutes away",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not taking my mate to work anymore even though he works less than 5 minutes away?
|
So just some back story before I continue, my best mate got a job in Shrewsbury 2 years ago and originally his dad was taking him to work as he only worked around the corner at the time, roll on 3/4 months and his dad is working from home and so being good friends I offered to take him, that started in April 2017. The condition for taking him to work was he passes his driving test.
Now it's December 2018 and we've had a falling out because he just hasn't made a remote effort to learn to drive. Then to top it off acted like it was my problem when I couldn't take him home due to collecting some car parts, (couldn't actually fit him in the car) and so had enough and told him that I'm no longer giving him lifts to and from work anymore, I feel bad because iknow he can't get to work but at the same time just feel like I've been used for the past year and 8 months.
What's everyone's opinion?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
428ZgkkzyU7K9z0YuAwUraFPoccn74zS
|
b19gwa
|
{
"description": "telling my so she can't decide how I use all the money in my life",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my SO she can’t decide how I use all the money in my life?
|
We borh work. We have a household budget that we stick to built around a joint account we both pay into. Then, after we’re both done covering the household budget for the month sometimes I buy stuff just because I can pay for it. When that happens I do so from my personal account. Our budget together covers all our immediate needs, savings for long and short term goals, an emergency fund, travel, and more. All my individual expenses come from my personal funds after expenses. But it’s a major huge deal that I’m so irresponsible with “our” money when I spend a buck from my own account on something she wouldn’t spend on from hers.
AITA for using the money left over in my personal account after we’ve covered our agreed-on household budget for personal purchases? All I want is agency over the spare change I have left after keeping up my end of what we agreed to when we agreed to do money as a couple.
What do you think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ts9OUSJ1hIez3hzaqyDfxvcM7UNWY3uy
|
b8qsad
|
{
"description": "not interacting with my mom when it risks causing me a panic attack",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not interacting with my mom when it risks causing me a panic attack?
|
(sorry if there’s any formatting issues, this is my first post on reddit, and I’m on mobile.)
I’m in high school, so obviously, I’m gonna have at least a little anxiety, right? Cus that’s the excuse my mom gives me when I try to talk to her about things that are giving me serious anxiety spikes. But I know it’s not just a teen phase thing, because even my mom herself has told me that I’ve had GAD since early childhood.
For the past few months, my mom has been really trying to make more memories with me before I get older and go off to college, since she’s a fairly sentimental woman, and didn’t get that opportunity with my older brother.
And, while I have been doing my best to help her on that matter, the problem that has lead me to posting this is that my mom, especially during the first month or so of doing this, seems to not realize that I need a long time to recharge every day from even just an hour of interaction, assuming the interaction was uncomfortable for me in any way. The reason my mom has this issue is because, while she does try her best to be caring and understanding of my mental situation, she is an extrovert who’s never suffered very long with depression, and has only had to deal with an anxiety disorder of her own since I was in third grade, but by then she’d already developed well-working coping methods for it, and also put herself on medication for it pretty soon after. I am the opposite. I won’t go into it very deeply, but my anxiety, coupled with my extremely introverted nature, both tend to make me not want to interact with people very much at all, especially during times of high stress.
So, pretty much, even though my mom has a decent understanding of both introverts and anxiety disorders, she still sometimes can’t seem to fathom how anything could keep me from interacting socially with people at all times of the day. It’s gotten better since I started telling her when I feel like social interaction is going to make me spiral into a panic attack, but she still doesn’t quite seem to get it- and i don’t blame her for it, since she’s not used to people like me.
But, anyways, normally this stuff wouldn’t bother me, at least, not on the days where my anxiety or introverted need to crawl under a rock and pretend I don’t exist in the real world from time to time aren’t bugging me too much. However, the problem there is that when I do tell her no, she stands in my doorway and gives me a sad look (like, we’re talking puppy eyes, bottom lip poking out, the whole nine) and sometimes even whines that she Just Wants To Spend Time With Me Before I Goes To College.
I think part of her not understanding my anxiety is that I’m on medications for it, but I haven’t actually told her that they don’t work that well yet, since without them I can barely function at all.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
uQsvceCqxlrnfGquYy6RfnKDqcRa8dbN
|
b9unia
|
{
"description": "leaving my dirty laundry in the kitchen",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my dirty laundry in the kitchen?
|
I (21F) live in a two bedroom apartment with my boyfriend (23M) and my friend (20F). We’ve been living together for almost a year now. My boyfriend and I are by no means dirty, she just cares about cleanliness a lot more than we do. We do our best to keep up cleanliness for her in common areas, always clean the kitchen after use, don’t leave dishes laying around, do the dishes, always pick up our trash, etc. I try to clean the whole place at least once a week as well. Our place always looks nice.
Anyways, our kitchen is one long hallway and at the start is our washer and dryer. The washer dryer is to the left, then there’s some empty space, then to the right is the kitchen. Our room is the farthest from the kitchen, so when we do laundry, we bring out our laundry basket and keep it next to the dryer. And as our laundry is done I put it back in the hamper and bring it back. In the past before we had a hamper that divided into sections, there were times when we did leave our towels in a controlled pile on the floor in front of the washer because we had a clean load in the hamper. But like I said, there’s some empty space before you actually get to the kitchen counters and everything so it’s not like it was IN the kitchen. There’s just no wall separating it from the kitchen.
So yesterday I was doing laundry and roommate had friends over. I had the hamper right next to the washer and dryer (like always) and was actively doing the laundry. It got to be very late, her friends left, she went to bed, my laundry still wasn’t done, so I just went to bed. I did leave the hamper out there by accident, but everything in it was clean I was just waiting on the last thing in the dryer. I wake up with a very not friendly message about her “opinion on leaving my dirty laundry in the kitchen” (her words). She said it made her uncomfortable having dirty underwear where she prepares food and it stands out to her and her guests.
I’ve been doing the same thing for almost a year and she’s never said anything. She’s definitely left her hamper by the washer and dryer as well. There’s definitely some separation between the kitchen and the washer too which really makes it feel dramatic to me how she says I leave it “in the kitchen”. What do you guys think AITA here? What should I say when I reply to her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
orfuNNJPvvwi4faaS0evtFHMfPUPqPGe
|
awu67k
|
{
"description": "using the term \"dame\"",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA Using the term "dame"
|
I said you're a cool dame to mutual female friend and was told that is offensive because damsel (which means young unwedded lady) implys damsel in distress. E.g. female stereotype and toxic masculinity.
The term dame is the equivalent to knighthood in England. Like "Sir" Smith. Google it if you dont believe me.
I argued that it wasnt offensive adamantly.
Am I the asshole ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
mx2OGKuttDvgX4Q4DRhqCBAucbgF0VyD
|
a62ga4
|
{
"description": "having a different opinion with my brother and kinda laughing at his",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For having a different opinion with my brother and kinda laughing at his?
|
So me and my brother were just talking, he mentioned he wanted to build a community in the woods and live far away from the city In the future, he talked about it some more, I made some jokes and said it's dumb...
We kept going back and forth and he said that I shouldn't be shitting on his opinion ( now my stance on this was that I get to have an opinion about his opinion, like I can say that I think it's dumb)
He's really mad at me, aita?
Damn I probably am but idk I wanna hear your opinions...
I was just joking about it until it got serious then I couldn't get him to calm down.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
8SyKLtEBGlKnMDDbTMPBNfJSyPNsZhnn
|
asochu
|
{
"description": "telling my wife she needs to be more interesting",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 33
}
|
AITA for telling my wife she needs to be more interesting?
|
Context: my wife (31) and I (31) have been together for 8 years, is pregnant with our first child (12 weeks, planned), and while we've told family members, we haven't announced to the greater world. Lately we've been talking about when we can announce, and while before she didn't want to because of concerns around early pregnancy complications, she now says she doesn't want to because she is worried she'll be reduced to just being known as "an incubator" and that her identity will revolve completely around the baby. Also, we moved ~2000 away from our families, so we don't get to see them often.
I've asked her why this worries her and she said it's because my family only asks about how how big the baby is, or how sick she is. This is definitely true, as we have a big group family text with all 8 of us and it's the main thing they ask about every week. I said, "What else would you like them to ask you about?", and she said "Anything else."
She's one of the most interesting people I've ever met, but she doesn't talk much unless you dig for it. She's an introvert, I'm an extrovert. When we first met I put in almost all of the effort into our relationship. She grew up racing speed boats with her family, went to school for an economics degree but then switched to computer engineering later, loves beer and the same kinds of music I do. Her typical day however is to come home, sit on the couch with our dogs, and watch FRIENDS reruns until it's time for bed. To be absolutely clear, I have no problem with this, but if you ask her "What's up lately?", she'll just respond, "Not much."
She doesn't really participate much in our group texts, and has muted the conversation on her phone because "otherwise it goes off all day and distracts me from work". I'm totally fine with it, but I told her it gives off the impression she doesn't want to talk with my side of the family because it's the main way we communicate. She said that if someone wants to talk to her they can call her to talk because she doesn't like texting as much and they can talk to her directly. I told her that while that is true, she's given off the vibe that she wants to be left alone, and that has most likely deterred anyone from doing that.
I told her she's a closed book, with extremely interested chapters and stories of her life inside, but when she refuses to talk to people that's an active decision that then really only gives them her "cover" to look at, and right now her "cover" is "pregnant daughter/sister-in-law". I even flipped it and asked her what she asks our neighbor about when they talk, who has a 1yr old son, and she said "... how her son is doing...". I told her that most people aren't going to dig in to find the good stories like I did, and she needs to open up a little bit and put effort into relationships with people if she wants them to get to know her.
Am I the/an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 32,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 25,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 40,
"WRONG": 33
}
|
RIGHT
|
3nEqSIdG0xNWwU8VfnPM5Xnp3azhhNxQ
|
at85ld
|
{
"description": "calling my friends out on the fact they never include me in plans",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling my friends out on the fact they never include me in plans?
|
I feel like an arse for having a go at a group of friends who never invite me and one other to do things with them, but then always brag about how fun it was afterwards in our group chat.
I sent them a screenshot of a tweet saying "you're a grade A c*** if you leave people out of plans on purpose" and they thought I was being ironic, then explained that they make plans too soon before they do things and that I don't know the people they are going out with, despite the fact that I've known them all for years.
I called them out on this as surely if they can plan things for them, they can at least let me and my other friend know it's happening.
Now I feel like I'm the asshole for bringing it up because the group chat has been quiet since I said it (6 hours) which is unusual considering it's usually very active.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7nLr7PwAllm5xGUAfoJEAE5msdUMBAsR
|
b07dct
|
{
"description": "wanting to leave a party early",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to leave a party early?
|
Apologies because this is long but its been on my mind for a while. For context I suffer from anxiety and I get panic attacks a lot.
My boyfriend and I had been invited to our friends birthday party. I knew most people going, including this asshole guy (AG for short) I used to be close friends with but no longer spoke to after he started acting like a complete cunt to me and my best friends.
Idk why but I was feeling really anxious from the moment I got to the party. I tried to stick by my bf to make myself feel more comfortable but he kept leaving to mingle and talk to other people at the party. I kept having panic attacks and went to the bathroom to calm down about 7 or 8 times during the night.
Then AG came in and as soon as I heard his voice I freaked. I wanted to leave right at that moment but it was only like half 11.
(I was staying the night at my bfs. I had no way to get to my house so I had to wait until he was good to leave.)
By about 12 I was super uncomfortable and told my bf I wanted to go. He was a bit upset and said he wanted to stay with his friends. I was thinking at this point that the party would end at around 2am, and that I could definitely hang on til then, but then he said there was some match on at 6am that most of the party were going to stick around to watch. I knew I could hold out for a short while but not until 6am, so he said if I really wanted to leave earlier then we could.
I had an ok time from then, thinking I'd only be staying another hour or 2, until AG came over to me. He was very drunk and wanted to apologise for how he had acted towards me and my friends, and he kept asking if I'd be friends with him again. I was really panicking at this time and it was a highly uncomfortable situation. What made it worse is that he said he was wrong to treat me and my friends how he did, "except X (one of my best friends), she turned out to be a selfish bitch and she hurt me bad."
This was an all round bad conversation, and I know for a fact that X actually was a really good friend to him and none of us understand why he hates her so much now.
Anyway after he leaves me alone I find my bf and tell him what happened and that I really want to leave. He kinda laughs and doesnt get why Im so uncomfortable even though he knows what happened between me and this dude.
Bf is real pissed I want to leave, tries to convince me to stay, even goes so far as to try to get me to take a nap with him on one of the couches. Im super anxious by this point and cant stop crying.
Eventually he gets it and we leave. Hes very angry on the walk to his and when he asks if i feel better and i say no he yells at me, "what was the point of us leaving if you don't even feel better now?"
When we got home he gave me a big hug and told me he loved me and I felt okay again.
It's been a few weeks and I can't stop replaying what happened. Am i the asshole here for making him leave?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZKV4wjNjESQBPtls7leitu7v0Fl2VyXy
|
b2szvk
|
{
"description": "showing up with all of my soon to be ex's stuff at her dorm room to break up with her",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I showed up with all of my soon to be ex’s stuff at her dorm room to break up with her?
|
I’m going to end my current relationship. I live in a house and she has a dorm room, but stays with me almost every night. She has brought quite a lot of her stuff over here. She really only uses her dorm room during the day in between classes.
She has a real temper and bad habit of breaking things/getting physical when she’s angry. I’d really rather not break up with her at my house because it’s extremely likely that stuff would get damaged. I’d like to just pack all her stuff up tomorrow and wait until she’s at her dorm room in between classes and break it off there.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Bh4D8oJua4MXwPVO5HsQUBNGkV5TRjYh
|
acrstu
|
{
"description": "defending my short film against this guy who apparently won't stop until I hate my work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for defending my short film against this guy who apparently won't stop until I hate my work?
|
LOL. WTF?
How did it go from daylight to midd...
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/acpw6w/my_short_film_about_suicide_just_earned_me_a_full/eda5wo5?utm_source=reddit-android
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
l8k3SsuqgrcoZoWfhIovdf2yTKUqXH4c
|
a8cpc7
|
{
"description": "not agreeing with this person's terminology",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not agreeing with this person's terminology?
|
I saw the movie The Mule. There is a scene in the movie where Clint Eastwood's character pulls over to the side of the road to help a black couple with car trouble. His character in the movie is definitely on the racist side of the spectrum. I forget what the exact phrase he uses with the couple is but he uses the term "negro" very nonchalantly and the couple give him this bemused look. It is a very short scene but it is in there for a reason.
I didn't like it for a number of reasons so I went to the r/movies thread to see what people were saying. Way down at the bottom, perhaps the most downvoted comment, someone wrote this
https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/a4rric/official_discussion_the_mule_spoilers/eby5l8d/?st=jpycj12x&sh=2a2b43dd
and I took issue with it mainly for the terminology. This person goes on to call me a racist even though I am only really arguing about the scope of the term "the n-word". So, AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
wo0VQMBWi6DIbk55PrKZSdO6Z20GlzH7
|
b0tvgd
|
{
"description": "telling a kid I wouldn't tell the bus driver about him chewing dip, then texting the bus driver after I got off of the bus",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for telling a kid I wouldn’t tell the bus driver about him chewing dip, then texting the bus driver after I got off of the bus?
|
TLDR at the bottom
About two weeks ago, I was riding the bus home when the kid beside me looks at me and asks;
Kid: “Are you a snitch?”
Me: “No.”
Kid: “Good.”
He then pulls out a can of chewing tobacco and pulls some out and starts chewing some. He asks for a kid to pass him a Mountain Dew can, and continues to chew, spitting into it occasionally. I am a Freshman, and he is a Junior who definitely is not legal age to use tobacco products in my state. I go back to my phone and browse Reddit for the rest of the short ride home. After I get off of the bus, I text the bus driver, who my family is good friends with that a kid in my seat was chewing tobacco and not to mention me during any confrontation that might rise out of this incident. Situation has already been resolved, and I’m just curious if I was the asshole for lying to his face.
TLDR: Kid asks if I’m a snitch, I say no, he starts chewing dip, I tell the bus driver after I get off of the bus.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
GEC9nfVkNv2EvlrmZ93kov6Vb4FPV9A9
|
azbkgc
|
{
"description": "telling best friend his girlfriend sucks",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I tell best friend his girlfriend sucks?
|
Obligatory mobile notes, apologies for format. TL;DR at the bottom since this'll require explaining.
My best friend (22M) has a hero complex. All of his relationships and love interests are women who need 'help' or are dependent in some way, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that. His first girlfriend has anger issues and used him as her target; he didn't want to break up with her because she always told him no one else understood her even when she would kick the shit out of him.
Backstory over. His new girlfriend is a little younger than us (20F) and also a bit high on the autism spectrum. I have nothing against him dating someone on the spectrum, but she's completely dependent on him in a way that basically mimics a parental relationship. She tortures his cat because she doesn't understand when animals are upset, and she does the same to our cat when she comes over until I'm forced to yell at her because she doesn't understand when I ask her to stop. He drives her everywhere, and she keeps getting fired from jobs so he supports her financially. I should also mention they've been together about a year now, but she moved in when they had been dating for about 5 months.
She's recently decided she doesn't like our friends, because they don't pay attention to her, so when we're hanging out and they come over, she usually tells her bf that she's overwhelmed and makes him take her home, even though he wants to stay, and she knew they were coming and could have stayed home. He essentially never gets to hang out with friends because of this.
She's making her bf take her along to his favorite band soon, even though he knows she'll get overwhelmed, because she wants to go, and he'll have to skip this thing he loves because she won't let him take someone else instead. Tons of stuff like this happens frequently.
I know this might seem bad of me to judge them, but from the outside looking in, I think that this whole relationship is about him taking care of her, and I know he's giving up his own happiness for her.
I don't want her coming over to my place anymore because she tortures my cat, who gets priority in my life over a woman I don't like, hurts my best friend, and even tries to take my stuff when she can. If I tell him she can't come over, he'll probably never get to come over again because she can't bear to be without him. /s
TL;DR my best friends gf is emotionally immature and draining him, but he doesn't realize it. She spreads her misery to my life and I want to tell him she isn't welcome in my home, and that he deserves better. WIBTA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EJpFFaOMvhVhWxYW6XbAm6kE0dYvivNr
|
b4xb2i
|
{
"description": "calling out my bf's brother for being racist",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I called out my bf’s brother for being racist?
|
My bf’s brother is a huge racist and I’m not sure how much more of it I can take. I hate being around him and he’s over at our place a lot.
Like if someone asks something he will say “the Jews!” A lot. For example if I asked who knocked the garbage over he will say “the Jews!” I know he’s just trying to be funny, but it’s a dumb joke and still racist.
He also once just volunteered that he’d never date a black woman. That he just wasn’t into them. Like thanks for the info, but no one asked and I really doubt any black women are going to be banging down your door anyways.
He’s brought up the border wall several times. He just keeps repeating the same reasoning for it over and over again. It’s those nasty Jews again. Why can’t we have a wall, but Israel can? Like it’s the same thing at all.
It’s a bunch of other little stuff too. Like sometimes he’ll just randomly say something in the way that slaves used to talk. I don’t know the word for it, but say shit like “yes masser sir”.
I’ve talked to my bf about it over and over and over again and he refuses to say anything to him about it. I guess they had a really bad relationship growing up and this is the first time in their lives that they get along well. That’s all fine and dandy, but that shouldn’t mean he gets a free pass on racism. It’s probably not my place to call him out on it, but my bf won’t.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
TqKyXSKcd9xhA0O3tScvE1bqtvgq1BAd
|
ae3u0d
|
{
"description": "not liking makeup shopping",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not liking makeup shopping?
|
AITA for not enjoying makeup shopping with my gf?
I specifically told my girlfriend 'i don't mean to be rude' before I started talking about this. I told her I don't enjoy going make up shopping with her as majority of it is me standing there staring at a wall. I asked her if she enjoyed going shopping with me for my things and she said she did. I told her her girlfriends would be having a lot more fun shopping with her than I would and vice versa and she agreed. Still upset, she tells me to 'just leave now then'. She then ignores me and refuses to talk to me even though I'm trying to convince her she basically agreed with me. I still feel a bit of doubt in case I'm missing ssomething. Am the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
i7HQt8Oi2BU3QHxDdLi9P4gzNPx3awsa
|
ad31e6
|
{
"description": "not waking up my girlfriend on a roadtrip because I accidentally killed/injured a bird",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not waking up my girlfriend on a roadtrip because i accidentally killed/injured a bird.
|
(Note: English is a second language, apologies beforehand)
See my girlfriend is a HUGE animal enthusiast and i know that she has taken and temporarily sheltered injured animals and released them back into nature. Well we were driving town to town and on our way to her parents house(2 hour drive), she was sleeping and i was going about 90kmh(56mph) and a large bird flew in front of the vehicle.
I looked at my girlfriend and she was still sleeping and i just kept on driving because i knew she would ask me to stop the car so she could check on it. If it was alive and injured she would have taken it to her parents house with her and problably cared for it and i just didnt want a injured possibly dangerous bird in my car, on the other hand if it was dead i am certain i would have had to dig a hole on side of the road to bury it.
I told her the morning after and she was MAD and we actually broke up because apparently i was an asshole and a "villain" as she graciously called me, ending a 1 year relationship.
So am i the asshole?
Edit: This happened some time ago and im in a perfectly healthy relationship with another girl.
Edit: Kinda healthy relationship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GB0sFwkHgo2urqCAsvKScAORgwt2htpT
|
as47km
|
{
"description": "having a bf when that's considered unchaste in my culture",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having a bf when that's considered unchaste in my culture? [Long read]
|
So. I'm a 15 yr old Indian girl. My parents are Indian, but I was born in the US.
I'm an atheist and so are my parents, we both only follow the religion to honor our ancestors and we place more importance on the language than actual Gods or goddesses (which we don't believe actually exist and are just representations of traits/morals).
They think that a girl should only like one guy in her entire life, and that she should end up marrying whichever guy she likes. And sex should only be between a husband and her wife.
I do a lot of things that they consider a sin. I curse. I don't think that's a bad thing at all as long as it's used in a tasteful way. I use Reddit. I watch porn. I masturbate. I have crushes. All of these aren't inherently sinful. I'm not going to say a natural process that growing up presents is a sin. That's bullshit.
But this is a new one for me. I can obviously control whether I have a boyfriend or not and I can control whether I have sex before marriage and whether I sext with my boyfriend. All of these aren't random natural processes. These are my decisions.
So, is it really a sin to have a boyfriend? I'm feeling so guilty about it. Especially since he's white and his family isn't well off or even functional. He also doesn't want to go to college, he has plans and he's smart but he's found a different path for himself that doesn't involve college. So that's a triple oof.
I obviously really like him. The only reason I feel any doubt is because of this stuff. I feel so fucking guilty for liking and being in a relationship with a white guy who's so below my parents' standards I might as well be a prostitute. I'm so so confused.
My dad is the one who is very strict about this stuff. If my parents find out they will be heartbroken and will probably commit suicide and then I will have to also. They'll send me to India. They'll say that I'm a slut. But my parents are such good people otherwise. They work so hard for us and they let us buy stuff and go wherever and have whatever.
The only things they expect from me and my sister is, and I quote (roughly translated): "good character (morality, and chastity) and a great education (good enough to benefit the world and help people)".
My dad is a prominent member of our community. So many people know us and are waiting for me especially (I'm the eldest daughter) to mess up so they can be like "haha look at this righteous holier-than-thou, his daughter ended up marrying a WHITE GUY HAHAHA we KNEW IT".
Fuck. Guys, AITA for having a bf when my situation is like this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NNs7bVX6OeAa3BcJwhnypfImjxloiJh3
|
abugmh
|
{
"description": "being off-put by someone posting pictures of their dead baby on Instagram",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being off-put by someone posting pictures of their dead baby on Instagram?
|
My friend and his wife's baby died in the womb 2 weeks before it was born. It was an absolute tragedy and I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for them. Their friends and family (myself included) have done everything to provide support and condolences. All in all my friends seem to be doing well despite the devastating loss.
In the weeks since the baby's passing, my friend's wife has posted 3 different photos on Instagram of their dead baby. It looks like the photos were professionally done. When I first saw the photos my gut reaction was negative. I felt it was in poor taste to post photos of the deceased on social media. I understand having the photos taken, but why post them on social media?
I don't know what such a process is like and I'm willing to be wrong. It is not my intention to disparage their loss - no one should ever have to suffer the loss of their child. I am strictly trying to understand why someone would post photos of their dead baby on social media.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
936u6GKPNotsEtO03YEkb9F6njH1v6gT
|
b2gmxl
|
{
"description": "talking to my friend even though it upsets my so",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for talking to my friend even though it upsets my SO.
|
So the 3k limit is not long enough to give all the details of the situation so I’m gonna try to make it super bare bones.
Basically I’ve been in a long term, long distance relationship with my SO for 5-6 years. We haven’t seen each other since then. I also have a friend who I’m incredibly close to who I’ve known longer. He’s literally just a friend but the way we talk doesn’t really look that way and that’s led to a lot of problems over the years between my SO and I. A lot of fights.
Because of those and because I can see his point I’ve toned down how I talk to my friend a lot but I still talk to him because he’s basically one of my closest friends, even if my SO gets upset when he sees his name.
Anyway so last year I was in the same city as my friend for the first time in like forever so I stopped by and we hung out and we took some pictures. Now I used to be a model, I’m in school now to be a teacher but I used to take “nude suggestive” pictures, basically I may have been nude in them but the pictures never showed anything specifically hence the “suggestive” part. And I kinda took those pictures with my friend.
Which my SO saw when they were posted online and he absolutely flipped out at me. Now - again, this guy is literally just my friend but… we’ve had some “racy” conversations which upset my SO every time and some of them kind of leaded to believe something was going on that wasn’t and then some of them my SO pointed out about the pictures.
Okay so whatever. I mean to me he’s just my friend and I used to be a model and my friend is working on being a photographer so it literally didn’t mean anything but… I mean okay sure, maybe I shouldn’t have taken them. Which I admitted to my SO after he accused me of cheating (not the sex but the whole “friendship/”not-friendship”” thing my friend and I have going on and just that being the sort of culmination of the whole situation).
I didn’t cheat. What I did wasn’t cheating. But I can see how taking the pictures in a situation like this was probably not the best move so, okay I get it and I admitted it while re-stating that I didn’t cheat.
The problem is that I could tell he (my SO) was upset about the whole thing and it took me a couple days to kind of see his point, and things were quiet between us until then so things were kind of healing. But then after I kind of came clean in a way and figured the whole situation was settled after that, he literally flipped out when I started talking to my friend again. Like he has me blocked and basically is calling me a cheater all over again.
I’m running into the limit again. Basically AITA for thinking it’s okay to try to curb how I talk to my friend but not stop talking to him all the way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
jyUG5EeS9xjz96Bljb7BkTQFY6DKypHa
|
b767hm
|
{
"description": "wanting to break up with my boyfriend because he has a tba",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to break up with my boyfriend because he has a TBA?
|
My boyfriend and I have been together a few years and live together. He has a traumatic brain injury which makes him very forgetful. He completely forgets conversations we have, trips we've taken, friends he's met, etc. For the course of our relationship this has just been a funny/cute thing to me, I remind him of things and with enough prompting he usually remembers.
We have had some really deep, difficult conversation about important sex stuff (I want him to instigate more, I'm feeling unwanted because he chooses to masterbate immediately when he is horny instead of coming to me, and then is tired/not horny at the end of the day when we have time together), and he apologizes and promises to do better, which he does for about a week but then things fall off again. I've had to have these really hurtful conversations with him 5 times now ("I'm feeling very unloved and unwanted, I don't care if I am asleep or in the middle of something, please, come to me when you're horny!)
We had another one of these conversations this week and since then he's been extra nice, doing more chores around the house, taking me out to dinner, but still hasn't instigated sex. I feel like he feels like he's in trouble and I'm irritable so he's doing everything EXCEPT the thing I asked, probably because he forgot that part of the conversation.
AITA for thinking of breaking up my boyfriend because he can't remember my enthusiastic consent of being bothered by sexual advances?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CbCe6vA9hftD63DSJUJvcrX8Bb5kXXWu
|
azwe3u
|
{
"description": "wanting to talk about things other than my future with my parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to talk about things other than my future with my parents?
|
Disclaimer: My parents are very caring and I am very fortunate to have them. They're great cooks and they make me work for things (most of the time it kind of sucks for me but I understand it's totally necessary) and they are very understanding.
​
With that out of the way, I'd like to talk about one thing that does get on my nerves: My parents only talk to me about grades/missing assignments/other school stuff, scout stuff I need to do, and my future (as in colleges I want to visit or how I should get a second job). Here is some information that's probably relevant:
\- I'm a A/B student
\- I'm involved in many activities, such as spring play, scouts bsa, and robotics
\- I'm a junior in high school
\- Sometimes teachers are a bit slow on putting grades in the gradebook. This means sometimes assignments will show up as missing even though I turned them in.
\- I work as a camp counselor for a cub scout camp. It's an amazing job but it doesn't pay well, so I'm looking for a second one once I get my driver's license.
\- I am working on getting my driver's license. We've had to reschedule twice due to scheduling conflicts.
\- My parents need to be told things multiple times to make them understand. For example, they would bring up a missing assignment that was turned in multiple times.
All of this has been making me frustrated, so when I finally said something about it I made sure to be civil, but my parents ended up getting pretty mad. I appreciate them caring about my future, but I'd like to talk about... you know, not that for a little bit too.
So do my parents need to lay off a little or am I just dumb?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
R0pRvXRC8zCa0ZnjOZvxBsfowRRGAQ0Z
|
abp5uy
|
{
"description": "telling staff members of a Discord server to enforce their rules more strictly",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling staff members of a Discord server to enforce their rules more strictly?
|
So some context of the situation: The rules in question are "1. No inappropriate or violent images/phrases are allowed. Also, please avoid risky subjects here (politics, religion, etc). Keep it calm. Don't be gross or edgy. 2. Please avoid insulting others or inciting aggression towards users here. Be kind. This server is for everyone, no matter their gender, religion, background, or race."
​
I am a regular member of this server, that being a revival of a game that didn't receive any support from the developer. The staff members of the server were picked rather haphazardly, as they were usually just picked from how well they were known in the original game, not how good they would be as a staff member.
​
The people in this server constantly call each other the n-word and f-word in a seemingly joking way, including some of the staff members. From here forward, I will be calling some staff members relevant to the story as S1, S2, CM (Community Manager) and O (owner).
​
I go to S1 in DMs moderately concerned about the other members constant usage of slurs, and while I'm not specifically offended by it, I am worried it would give the community a generally "toxic" reputation. S1 tells me that most people generally ignore the rules. S1 is one of the few staff members who would most likely be considered a "good" staff member, and they say if other people of the same rank permit it, he is fine with it.
​
Later, I go to O in DMs expressing similar concern, who has already been aware of the issue and has told people to stop doing it, yet these have fallen on deaf ears a few days after their announcement. I talk to CM about the issue and present what O said, and CM says that they agree with my viewpoint, yet that they would "come off as pissy" if they started to truly enforce it. I advise CM to talk to the other staff about the issue, which I presume they follow suit.
​
S2 is a staff member that was given their position because of their haphazard decisions. S2 was responsible for \~13% of all usage of the N-word in the entire server, S2, after hearing the discussion that CM introduced to the staff room, decides to *post in announcements* about who sent these concerns, that being me, and basically publicly ridicule my concerns.
​
I should mention that previously I have been in a fair share of controversy regarding this server, and although most people ignored them after a while, S2 has been basically the only person who has clinged on to the drama. S2 has never liked me, and has been the catalyst for lots of this controversy (digging up events from the past to make decisions meant to give me some sort of disadvantage in game.)
​
So, am I the asshole for telling staff members of a server to enforce their rules more strictly?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
ztzjjqL1d7aIbwIbudTtqRe6S95cMGPY
|
b4h3qk
|
{
"description": "not \"scaling up proportionally\" the size of my gift to income",
"pronormative_score": 84,
"contranormative_score": 30
}
|
AITA for not “scaling up proportionally” the size of my gift to income?
|
We had our wedding anniversary last night. Wife bought me an EIGHTEEN THOUSAND dollar watch. I got her an engraved wood sign with our names and wedding date to hang in our home, that cost $50 with shipping.
She got really upset with me and said she was looking forward to something nice like an upgraded diamond wedding band of SIMILAR VALUE range. WTF. She argued that because we make more money we should treat each other proportionally so I was being CHEAP and not showing her how much I care.
Ok, yes we are definitely high income earners (we are both physicians, we each made 360k pretax in 2018). This of course is a huge jump from 2016 when we both finished our ER residencies earning 50k a yr each.
But here is the thing. I grew up in a low middle class household. I like to think I am frugal in general. The value of each dollar in my eyes today is the same as it was 7 years ago when I was a broke ass med student. I just CANNOT fathom throwing away tens of thousands of dollars on a watch or jewelry. I love my wife and I would rather dump that $$$ into our student loans or car payments or mortgage or invest in stocks, and just receive no presents whatsoever, because doing any of that helps secure our financial future. My wife isn’t the best with money and used to carry credit card balances for years until we married. And despite my view that any car other than a japanese econobox, is a waste of money she still went ahead and got herself a Porsche macan when we started our attending salary jobs 2 years ago. Which we still have monthly payments of 1300 for another three years! I don’t know am I just way off base here and being the asshole? God I just can’t get over her massive waste of money and how this year’s anniversary is going to be nothing but bad memories in the future
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 65,
"EVERYBODY": 23,
"NOBODY": 19,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 84,
"WRONG": 30
}
|
RIGHT
|
JPUMNooYC3hVSXsWUroxFjkQZ7ZMyqQ2
|
9x1pnb
|
{
"description": "sending wife of cheating husband a message",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For sending wife of cheating husband a message?
|
So this story is a bit twisted- and in the end, I'm an uninvolved bystander who involved herself out of spite. I get it. Asshole reasons. I already know I'm the asshole in this sense... No regrets still... But I am curious about what people would think of my actions.
​
Recently my friends took in a roommate, charging him cheap rent for a nice place near work. The man took up the deal because he wanted to save money for his wedding. Great. Friends helping another friend out.
For the first several months this roommate failed to make payments, the rent was piling up and he wasn't paying because of financial reasons. I'm not clear on how many months this went on because my friend was vague in telling me- all I know is that he didn't pay right away and it made them nervous he never would.
During this time, roommate gets married to a woman several hundred miles away- both of them work and live separately. When he comes back from his wedding, a new face starts showing up at my friends' house. It's a girl he works with, one whom he claims at first is just a friend- though in later months consistently proves that she is far more than just a friend. How it was explained to me- was that he claimed him and his new wife were in an open relationship. We were all skeptical.
So the girlfriend begins living at their house, using their appliances and what not, and staying there in their home when no one else is. The two of them never offer to pay up more for the rent. Over the summer the cooling and water bills rose in excess- it was getting to be a hindrance to have so many people (especially when their rent was a flat rate that didn't include utilities). To top it off, my friends soon found out they were pregnant and expecting in January- eventually, they were able to push hard enough to get the man to pay up on his accrued rent due- which he did.
​
Aside from the girl living at the house scotch-free, the only issues I heard of was that the roommate constantly tried to change the thermostat down without asking, ate their food and left tons of dirty dishes in the sink.
With the coming of the baby, however, the near eight months that my friends were dealing with these people had finally come to an end. They moved out with the roommate telling my friends how grateful he was and how much money he was able to save up.
​
Well, we are all at work one night and a different guy that my friends used to the work with was chatting us away. Somehow the topic of the old roommate comes up- he asks if he still lived at my friend's house. My friend replied "no", and asked why.
Apparently, the old roommate was shit talking them behind their backs, saying that he made my friends their bitch and negotiated a low rent at their house and ultimately used them. It was clear disrespect, it hurt them and pissed all of us off.
I brought it up long in the past that someone should tell his wife on FB or something he was a possible cheater, but my friends were too afraid to because their life as new parents was soon to begin and they didn't want to ruin a marriage. So I made a FB and sent her a message myself just asking if they were in an open relationship as he claimed they were and if she was aware he had a girlfriend here. Nothing else, just asking.
I've been cheated on before by a person who claimed the SAME thing. If it were me, I'd want to know... But after I sent the message I'm worried if I made a stupid move. I know revenge does nothing for my friends but I'm petty and annoyed they've been essentially walked on by that guy. They've filled me in on these details since the beginning. I've met this guy and he's done little to prove he's honest or nice.
If they are in an open relationship- then good, whatever, but if they weren't, I may have possibly ruined a new marriage between two people I hardly know. AITA?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EXJesah80rvj5tDXub8HhCct0ySNGcLH
|
b1jkhc
|
{
"description": "enjoying the flirtations of another man even though I'm married",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for enjoying the flirtations of another man even though I'm married?
|
Context here is that I'm miserable.
He doesn't care to hear it, doesn't care to address it, fix it, or do anything about it. Am committed to our marriage and cheating isn't an option but I'm incredibly lonely and don't know how to fix it alone. So, in the meantime I get a thrill that this guy at work has a crush on me and that apprently I'm not invisible. I did shut him down and inform him that I'm married but I still daydream about cheating and entertaining the flirtations because it's nice to get some affirmation when you've been feeling so shitty for so long. Shut the guy down yesterday and was saddened that my tiny source of affirmation seems to be gone since today he's avoiding me and that's what I had to do because daydreaming about entertaining it is different then actually doing so so I shot him down and am kinda sad now.
Am I such an asshole that I kind of needed that attention right now?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
UVQ7FaXNFkEJ2WE81lOHabPMc1MCH2aj
|
b37row
|
{
"description": "not wanting to make a big deal about the fact that I'm moving out of the country for a few years",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for not wanting to make a big deal about the fact that I’m moving out of the country for a few years?
|
Backstory information: my husband is military, we’ve known I’d be moving sometime in the future for a year now, and we’ve known it was overseas for over six months now.
I was talking with my sister about how excited I am to finally be leaving soon, and she stated that she was under the impression I’d want to have a going away party before I leave. I don’t.
I could see myself wanting to have a dinner with my parents, siblings, and grandparents. I have a few friends that I’ll hang out with sometime before I go. And I’ll make it over to my in-laws house too.
The people that seem to be upset that I’m leaving are the people that I see at family parties once or twice a year, and the friends I haven’t seen since leaving school. I don’t see the point in having a party where I’ll see people I don’t see in my everyday life, or even often in my life at all. It feels superficial and weird to me.
When I told my sister this, she gave me a look that made it seem like I was being irrational and then gave me an, “okay, if that’s how you feel.”
My husband said something about how I should make my rounds to say goodbye to people too, and there are people that I will do this with, but I don’t see the need to have a going away party to invite a bunch of people who I already live my life without seeing, or honestly of making it a big deal of leaving at all.
Is this one of those things where you’re supposed to just suck it up and do for the people around you? Am I the asshole here for not wanting to?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YkkZWuAMNGyQu5dmI0LXqBRPNbtnTmYO
|
au0b28
|
{
"description": "threatening a person by taking their crime to the police",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for threatening a person by taking their crime to the police?
|
Okay, so let me catch y’all up to speed. My girlfriend and her friends deal with a person in their dorm who is by all means a nuisance. He harasses people, bullies people, and is a general asshole to my girlfriends friends. As for my girlfriend, he’s very nice and regularly asks her on dates. I don’t really care about him because she likes the guy less than me. For me it’s all coming to a head because he’s hurting her friends (emotionally) and I’m honestly tired of her having to deal with him and not respecting her being in a relationship.
Now a few months ago one day in a campus building he exposed himself to a group of 5 or so including my girlfriend and her friends. This is towards the end of a long list of things he should be punished for, but I digress. This is a felony charge he could face where I live. Would I be the asshole if I told him to go bother another group of people? I feel like I shouldn’t report it myself to the police because it’s not my place, but the guy needs a reality check. I’m really fed up with the shit I hear about them having to deal with, so would be out of line to remind him police involvement could be taken? I feel like this thinly veiled threat may be out of line because it’s hollow (at least on my part) and I’d only be threatening for personal benefit rather than reporting the crime for the sake of reporting a crime.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
M0YFtF9EnhDJ1fdsdnUTQPJH3KdYAX6K
|
9w9odk
|
{
"description": "not getting my ex girlfriend a direct flight",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not getting my ex girlfriend a direct flight?
|
I’ll keep this as short as I can. My ex called me saying her friends ditched her in Las Vegas, and was freaking out. I tried to help her by getting her a flight home (in Los Angeles) so bought her a one way to lax. It had a 1 hour layover in SF and she called me from SF saying I’m an asshole for not getting her a direct flight, freaking out cause she needed a cigarette. She pretty much told me I’m a cheap piece of shit and she’s gonna miss her flight and just stay there by herself( all cause she’s fiending for a cig). I smoke as well, so I get it sucks not being able to smoke but I wouldn’t freak out this bad. The flight was $84 but a direct one was like $200 so yeah I kinda didn’t wanna spend that and didn’t think a layover was that big a deal. She’s supper pissed off and crying and I feel a bit bad, but honestly I don’t see it as that crazy. All in all the total flight time is 4 hours, that’s not super crazy imo. If anything I’m a bit worried about her being there but what can I do? I kinda feel like I should call her brother, but when I told her I was she freaked out even worse. I’m at a bit of a loss.
I dunno. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7jLwYSbTAwcmK58qtQzr9SFe2aqyePz5
|
as2036
|
{
"description": "being this way",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For Being This Way?
|
My Fiancee (26F) and I (26M) have been together for 7+ years. 3+ of which we've been engaged. Ive been an off and on pot smoker since 18, and until recently (2017ish) I barely drank alcohol. Myself: I dropped out of highschool in grade 12, couple years later got my college diploma, and then got my GED to patch up old wounds in my life path. Ive smoked my fair share of pot, and have had many cold turkey quits lasting months/years. January, 2017 I began smoking cigs which quickly went from 2-3 smokes a day to over a pack a day. Quit that and began vaping to ween off tobacco. Last year December I quit vaping. I never cared for booze, but recently its been getting to the point where I recognize and tell myself i need to stop, but buy more anyway. The Fiancee: School Girl, High Grades, Never really drank until I started drinking recently, never touched/smoked/eaten etc. any type of drug and still refuses to. I will never force her, matter of fact, im proud of her.
Over the 7 years we've been together, we have had our ups and downs but overall its been outstanding, love the girl to death. However, every time I decide to smoke a little or get back into smoking she gets pissy with me saying I change and im not the same person after I start smoking again. So I assured her that if I start up again, I would take note on my behavior and if she notices a major change I want her to be honest and tell me so I can see it for myself; Ive been in constant disbelief of me having any personality, behavior or attitude change whilst using marijuana. Ive made myself immediately do house chores after smoking which has become a small habit now, which she seems to love, since my productivity at home has increased.
With that being said, after a small argument we had about me smoking, and me insisting she allow me to make my own decisions and not try to give me strict guidelines to follow (no smoking/drinking/going out) I found myself fist deep in drywall... yeah, I punched my wall... and this was something I used to do as an adolescent after being abused by a step father. It has become a natural thing for me to swing at a wall when mad or angry. Heres the catch.. during my sober spurts, ive never gotten mad to the point of hitting something.
After talking to my Fiancee, she said something that totally shredded me apart, "just because you arent hitting me, hitting the wall and getting this mad is subjecting me to abuse still, just not physical."
Furthermore, I was raised in a very abusing setting, step dad abused me quite often and disciplinary measures for me doing dumb childlike shit were usually excessive. I feel like ive gained some terrible traits being raised in said family, and that freaks me out.
I dont feel like an asshole for making my own decisions to do things but I absolutely feel like the asshole for subjecting her to my attitude and behavioral changes that she has yet to comment on.
This is a burner incase anyone is wondering.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
XwDMb93noTzVuzsgGWCL1EipAkGFhr6W
|
b2eqgd
|
{
"description": "cutting off my friend cuz he started dating a girl I had feelings for and am trying to get over",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off my friend cuz he started dating a girl I had feelings for and am trying to get over
|
So story is, there’s the girl I had a huge crush on that I became close friends with a few months ago. She was in a lot of my class and I wanted to date but she just wanted to be friends and I was cool with that until I had started to develop feelings for her. I had to distance myself from her to get over these feelings and she understood. My friend knew that I liked her and he recently started dating her. I wasn’t super close with this guy but I was friends with him and trusted him enough to tell him. Anyway, so he texted me today telling me that he started dating her. I said, “I respect your decision but I don’t think I can hang out with you anymore. Don’t take it personally, I just need some space.” It hurt but I’m moving on. Anyway, Am I the asshole for cutting him off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nYRCn3988fh2jCYRPpafOfgRu66RQBut
|
azte7h
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be near my super tight-knit family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be near my super tight-knit family?
|
I come from a very close family. I was raised with the mantra "family, only second to God" and it stuck with me a lot when I was younger. I got in more fights over my little brother getting bullied in school than any other reason. We really were very close
Fast forward to today: we're all grown. They (5 total, including parents) live within 30 minutes of each other, while I live 3 hours away. They all try to get me to move closer any chance they get. I am stuck where I am for the next 2 years due to my fiance's contract at a new job. They are all expecting me to move closer when that time ends.
But, here's the thing: I can't stand being with them for more than an hour. We're all different people now, and when I call to check in there's always new drama and older bro is mad at younger bro while mom is mad at sister, etc, etc, blah, blah. I don't fight with them because I'm not there enough to get on each other's nerves.
I love my family, but I have no interest in moving closer to them. Truthfully, we plan to move across the country when her contract is over. That's what brings me here. AITA for wanting to distance myself so far when I know it will hurt them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TzwsufqiNOMy4F5OhkPopLYQsJ9eOoqm
|
afvf3f
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hear my stepdad's political views at dinner",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hear my stepdad's political views at dinner?
|
Background info: So my stepdad has been living with me, my mom, and my two brothers for over a year and we recently moved in with my grandma because of financial issues.
Before we moved here, my mom had a rule about having the TV off at dinner. He happily obliged and we had pretty pleasant dinners. Now he doesn't follow the rule and keeps the TV on every dinner time.
I wouldn't be on this subreddit making this post if it was once or twice a week he went on these huge rants about politics, but he does it *every day* and my brothers now have his beliefs engrained in their heads and they believe that he's right.
Summary: AITA for not wanting to hear my step dad's views at dinner time every night?
Info:
-I'm 15
-My brothers are 8 and 7
-My stepdad is 43
-He does this every and I mean EVERY night without fail
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SCYImqapK5EJEWGAEYwUpBgQ4IVBwGjR
|
azgi71
|
{
"description": "breaking my other two friends' relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking my other two friends' relationship?
|
Lets call my friends Jake and Sarah. Both of them were really close and would hang out everyday. They both said they were just best friends but everyone knew they had a thing going on between them.
So basically, when I moved to this new school, Jake dared Sarah to go and prank text me. I just played along and eventually found out it was Sarah who was texting me and from then on we became good textmates. As the days went by, we texted more and more often and would also hang out sometimes, go to the movies and shit.
Naturally, we started calling each other and became really close. I think there were times she chose to hang out with me rather than Jake. I also started noticing Jake kind of giving me a mean look. A few days later, Jake and Sarah had a big fight and they wouldnt talk anymore like all the friendship they had built just vanished.
I just have this feeling that I ruined their friendship because I started hanging with her. I just feel so bad for both of them because they were really close and basically inseparable and until now, they would just avoid each other and would never talk to each other.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
aOAciRR1XuDzYXLitLgzyYZskaPG8ACQ
|
aylcp9
|
{
"description": "being embarrassed that my partner wore shorts with a hole in public",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being embarrassed that my partner wore shorts with a hole in public?
|
My significant other has this pair of shorts that he loves because they are stretchy and comfortable. The problem is, they have a huge hole above one knee. Sometimes you can even see his boxers through the hole. Because of the material these shorts are made of, the hole is obviously not meant to be there and in no way looks fashionable. I don't mind if he wears these shorts around the house or to work out around his buddies, but I prefer that he not wear them out in public. He knows how much I dislike these shorts (and some of his other clothes that are in similar states of disrepair).
I should note that he has plenty of other clothes that do not have holes. He simply refuses to get rid of any clothes that have holes because he thinks they're comfortable. I have tried mending his clothes before, but he is generally not careful with his clothes, so he always rips them again.
I grew up in a culture where it was the women's job to make sure her family looked presentable in public; if they weren't, then people looked down on the woman for not taking care of her family. I know this is a sexist and outdated view, but it still affects me. My SO and I have had multiple conversations about this topic and he knows I'm sensitive about it. Growing up, he was allowed to wear whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. He didn't go to formal events and didn't own a suit until he graduated high school. To say the least, he does not have a good grasp of what is appropriate to wear and when (and he's actually sensitive about it sometimes). A few years into our relationship, he agreed to not wear dirty or holey clothes in public and to let me help pick out his outfits for formal events.
He and I just took a trip to a big name retail store in a nice part of our city to pick up some odds and ends. I noticed that he was wearing these shorts earlier in the day at home but thought he had changed into a pair of shorts that look very similar but don't have any holes. It was also dark outside when we went to the store, and the shorts are black. Turns out, he wore the shorts out in public. His other clothes were appropriate, and I didn't actually notice until we were almost done shopping. I didn't say anything in the momemt so as not to embarrass him in public.
When we were home, I asked him if he knew he was wearing the shorts with a hole. He said he didn't notice until we got to the store. Then he asked if I was embarrassed that he went out in those pants, and I said yes. He got upset and refused to talk to me because he said doesn't want to interact with someone who is embarrassed by him for his clothes.
AITA for being embarrassed about his clothing choice?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QeQ8kXbvr9IRqhB1BHe8UZGycGHwurWE
|
b9zisl
|
{
"description": "taking a photo of a girl's butt",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA For taking a photo of a girl's butt
|
Happened 30 minutes ago. I went to buy food at a certain fast food restaurant. The location of the fast food place is on a street filled with bars. And it just so happened that a local university was doing a bar hop. There were groups and groups of students all wearing a specific t-shirt of various colors with most of them having stuff written on them with a sharpie. While I was waiting in-line I noticed that there was a girl who, in my opinion, had a pretty funny phrase written on the back right shoulder of her shirt. I thought it was funny and wanted to take a photo of it. Went to pull out my phone, camera froze on a still of her whole body when i wanted to zoom in on her shoulder. Girl behind me accuses me of trying to take a photo of the girl's ass (cause she saw my frozen phone) in front of me and causes a scene. I try to explain myself but damage is already done and I'm accused of sexual harassment. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
OndYa4GOjVHhFf7rJ34hwTWCP6ciJuUd
|
a53c7v
|
{
"description": "leaving my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my friend?
|
Alright, let’s do this.
So my friend (lets call him Tac) has hung out with me since the first few days of school, and at the beginning, I thought he was really funny and fun to be around.
Then my friend circle grew larger with 2 more friends, James and Ben.
We started hanging out a bit more, but then Tac started acting a bit strangely. It felt as though he lost his personality, and started making just jokes about things that just are gruesome and downright weird. He would also just barge into conversations (no matter what we were talking about) and change the subject entirely.
James, Ben and I started to drift away from him, purposefully ignoring him if we had the chance, and just up until recently, everything was fine.
Fast Forward a few more days, to my Industrial Tech class. I was working on a project when suddenly, Tac comes from behind me and slaps me on the neck as hard as he can, to the point where I lost my thought process for a few seconds. Naturally, I turned around and pushed him away, asking, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
I am now literally not talking to him at all. I ignore everything he does and no longer hang out with him. My friend Ben also no longer plays Rainbow Six Siege with him anymore. (didn’t tell him to do that)
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gCFB4pPO6OFQ56c1j6pFn4ChKUKm4wYg
|
an17gz
|
{
"description": "sharing my depressing thoughts to my gf",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sharing my depressing thoughts to my gf(now ex)?
|
I have been diagnosed and struggling with clinical depression for 3 years now. I always share my thoughts to my gf cause she's the only one I trusted and I thought she'd understand. We've been officially together for 3 years and she was really a great help to me.
Ffw to 4 months ago, she broke up with me and told me that we need to let go of each other because religion will tear us apart in the end (we're from different religions and deeply religious families). I accepted that and I did my best to move on but we still talk every once in a while.
Ffw to present, she said that being with me was taking a toll on her mental state. She told me that she has cried a lot of nights when we were still dating, unbeknownst to me. She didn't know how to handle the problems I share to her and I think she blames me for her being depressed too.
I noticed that she doesn't want to call me at night anymore(we used to call at night) and I wasn't sure if this was because she doesn't like talking to me cause it'll ruin her mood or if she's moved on already. Now she's interested in another guy (though I don't mind that, I respect her decisions)
I'm wondering if me sharing my depressing thoughts was not a good thing and maybe I should've just kept them to myself.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ilNyShxUbMd9Ej3GkpzhwkMil2r8YYae
|
b1rj47
|
{
"description": "joking with a straight face to an acquiantance that he doesn't mix with peace and quiet",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for joking with a straight face to an acquiantance that he doesn’t mix with peace and quiet?
|
For context I see him (max of) twice per week at church related events and talk for only a few minutes every time.
So he shares that he needs peace and quiet. I remark (as a joke but very straight faced/stoic) that peace and quiet to him is like fire and water given how sociable he normally is.
He blows up and demands an apology and swears he won’t talk to me again. The two people around me thought what I said wasn’t all that bad. I concede that it was probably not funny but don’t apologize.
AITA for what I said and not apologizing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
rat0owTytQAsMpMh2rlh7kATIvGjdffE
|
art9go
|
{
"description": "not being excited about someone else's good news",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not being excited about someone else's good news?
|
So this is kind of different from what I see on here and it mostly pertains to people who are Greek (Fraternities and sororities). However, the main idea is easy to understand so anyone is welcome to answer. But real quick...
Pdad - Sorority girls tend to ask Frat guys if they would want to be their Pdad. Its usually asked of someone you have a platonic relationship with and have come to be very close to as a friend and mentor. (can also have Pmoms).
Big Bro - A brother from your Fraternity that is meant to guide you in life, academics and the ways the Frat is run.
Psibling - Someone who shares the same PDad/Mom as you or someone who has asked your Big Bro or Big sis to be their PDad/Mom.
(These terms can be different depending on the organization but this is how it works in mine.)
So recently my fraternity went to hang out with a sorority. I recently joined so I didn't know the sorority girls at all so it was mostly me getting to know people. After an hour or so I was sitting on the couch talking when one girl came over and she asked "How would you feel about having a Psibling?". I wasn't sure what to say and I didn't know what that was so I replied "What is a Psibling?". She explained that she would be asking my Big Bro to be her Pdad so we would become my Psiblings. I personally didn't care, I already knew they were close and that the relationship they had was platonic. So I wasn't sure what she wanted me to say, "Do you want my blessing or something? I mean congrats but I'm not sure what to say." I don't know if I came off sounding like a jerk but I honestly don't care. She's going to ask him regardless and what he does is his business. On top of that, I just met her that day so I'm not really sure what to do besides saying congrats and moving on.
Now I'm thinking I might have come off a bit mean since afterwards she was giving me attitude for the rest of the night and just blatantly ignored me at a party while talking to my brothers. If it were just a random sorority girl, I wouldn't really care, but since my Big Bro is probably saying yes, I'll probably see her a lot more at parties and events. I don't really care if we're friends, but I wouldn't mind if we're at least on speaking terms so we avoid any awkward moments and for my Big Bro's sake.
But what do you think Reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
cIUOUlDvWyOrSvonJ4pWM3WFc01PjaQR
|
am05ea
|
{
"description": "not giving someone a refund when they didn't know you needed internet to set up the product",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving someone a refund when they didn’t know you needed internet to set up the product?
|
I just sold an Xbox One a couple hours ago and I had tested and reset the entire device to make sure everything was good to go.
I offered a decent price in my opinion, 100 dollars for 2 controllers, the console and gta5
I went to the meeting place and had to wait close to one hour for them to finally reach the place, even though the meeting place was less than 8 miles for both of us
Now they’re asking for a refund because it needs WiFi to set up and they don’t have WiFi.
To me, that’s not my fault or problem but I offered to help figure out a solution. I would’ve even offered to set it up for them and then return it, but before I could explain my offer they’re insisting they need a refund.
As I’m typing they just said, it was their “baby daddy’s” money and he’s getting mad at her. I’m pretty pissed since that was my time I used for a fair transaction that had no problems on my end.
I’m insisting I’m not giving refunds and I don’t unless there’s a problem on my end.
She’s kind of guilt tripping me and idk what to do
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7De7GHxiool1oBlW9p1nfoj3tclkQvdE
|
avbo13
|
{
"description": "objecting to women's parking being in the front at my workplace parking lot and consequently getting fired due to it",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For objecting to women’s parking being in the front at my workplace parking lot and consequently getting fired due to it?
|
I am 18, have just begun college. I study computer science and got to work at a tech store. I had honestly loved it there for the short time I worked there. One thing to note was that except me, every person who worked in the store was a woman. Many of them were really friendly to me, and I think they are geniunely nice. My manager , who is in her early 50s, was definitely not nice though, and made really inappropriate comments.. Like remarking that I wore nice tight pants once in a suggestive way,but I loved the job so thought to leave it at that, I convinced 2 of the women who heard it to not let the problem become bigger.
During my time there, I kept seeing instances of disabled and elderly people having to travel an excruciatingly long distance for them, sometimes even a hundred feet or so during busy days,so I told my manager that it might be better if we just kept the woman’s parking a couple of metres back instead of it being in front of the store, and on weekdays keep it as it is. I suggested this to her extremely politely, and also gave her a sheet with approval from all the other staff for this idea, as long as the parking was only pushed back a couple of feet. I also promised I would look out for women at night when they make their way to the car.
But my manager got really, really angry. Saying this was sexist and narrow minded and I should be ashamed, that she didn’t expect this from me etc. I just apologised and continued working. I then got to know that I had been fired the next day. I was honestly shocked, like everyone was. I was the most knowledgeable person about tech stuff there. I am not saying this because I believe I am superior, but my father is a tech journalist and I grew up in a household where I had a fascination for these things from a very young age. I could answer questions the other staff couldn’t, so if a person wanted a very specific phone( for example, I would recommend them to wait for the google pixel lite if they wanted a good camera on a budget or the limited edition Nokia 9, and just buy the pixel 3 if they didn’t have any issue with the money etc. I can go on and on with the specifications and features), they would be redirected to me. I can confidently say I was one of the best, and firing me for something that I talked about really politely and apologised for seems insane to me.
I have honestly been really upset about this, that job meant a lot to me and it was loads of fun. The company was excellent, the store in itself was nice, I got to check out the phones when they had arrived etc.
I recently received news that the owner was going to visit our store in a while, and a few of my ex employees told me to talk about the matter to him, and that they would support me too.
Was I the asshole? And will I be the asshole if I talk to the owner about this?
Thanks a lot for taking your time and replying. I am honestly a very open person, criticism is fine too! I just want the truth, thanks!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
O7sJX078w3HcN83mnoirbYtsBXeKtYVe
|
aphoir
|
{
"description": "being brutally honest with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being brutally honest with a friend
|
For this one, I need to start a ways back. My first girlfriend was in middle school, 8th grade. It was the typical middle school romance, her coming up to me and asking "Will you be my boyfriend?" and me agreeing while having no idea what having a girlfriend entailed. Needless to say, it didn't last long before she broke up with me. I wasn't at all hurt about it.
Skip ahead to high school. We developed a close friendship where we spent a lot of time together and she often called me. I wasn't the best friend, but who is in high school? I was a bit of an asshole, even giving her the nickname "Penguin" because of how she waddled while she walked. She adopted the nickname and loved it and I never told her the real reason for it. But still, I listened every time she called me about the boys she was interested in, I listened every time she broke up with a boyfriend and cried about being single, and I even dealt with her asking me during these periods, "Do you think we'll ever get back together", to which I replied, "No."
This went on for many, many years. I went off to University and she still called me about the same problems and still asked the same question. Finally, after listening to her despair about being single forever for the 30th time, I broke. I told her "\[Name\], do you enjoy being single?", she said "of course not", and I popped back with "Well, you better get used to it if you keep doing this shit." Silence ensued, then I (or maybe she) hung up. I have to add in the detail that I was slightly intoxicated when this happened.
The calling stopped and from what I heard, she actually started having some meaningful relationships to the point where now she's engaged. I ruined a friendship, but a part of me says that it was worth it and I was helping a friend. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mLwwrq7uEUPmfNBnsz0PpH6r4c7PV6Xw
|
b4ylk4
|
{
"description": "implementing a strict food policy at work",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for implementing a strict food policy at work?
|
For context, my workplace is a very small (about 100ft^2 or ~9.3m^2) outbuilding, and only accommodates 2 people (three is stretching it) people at a time. We only have about 5 people who work throughout the week, so it’s a very small department both in terms of space and people.
Recently I have been absolutely disgusted by the way my coworkers leave our space. Food in boxes and bags left for weeks at a time until it expires. Drinks untouched after a few swallows. Fresh fruit left rotting in the back room. And that’s just the uneaten stuff. I think I’m the only one who sweeps or mops spills off the floor and cleans off the counters and desk.
I have been asking nicely for everyone to clean up after themselves and to not leave food in the building unless they really need to do so (one person is diabetic) for over six months. Yet everything I listed before was still a regular occurrence. And so I finally broke. I’m tired of cleaning up other people’s messes when they are too lazy to clean up after themselves after repeatedly being asked to do so.
So I instituted a new food policy. If you leave food in the building after you leave and it is unopened, it will be put on a shelf for you to collect. If it hasn’t been collected or opened by the end of the week, it’s thrown out. If open food or fresh fruit is left behind, it gets thrown out the next day. The same goes for drinks.
I think this is fair, but everyone who works here is saying this is way too harsh, and I am out of line. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IVIhsur5dsHJKQ4UnjknLfuDLbr3y7oW
|
ajfnsc
|
{
"description": "complaining about my job to my sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for complaining about my job to my sister?
|
So my sister (28f) and I (24f) haven’t had the best relationship, a little over a year ago we just started speaking... after barely talking for four years
She has a masters and is Pursuing a career in therapy. I never completed college and work 2 retail jobs.
I really like my work. My coworkers and I often bond over the BS thrown at us, but it still wears on me. Because of personal reasons I do not have the resources to go back to school.
Whenever I mention my job to my sister (the good and the bad) she starts bringing up various reasons why I should go back to school, or at the very least, get a better job.
I feel like she’s delusional, I can’t just have work experience magically appear on my resume and Again I’ve been with both jobs for a while I’ve shown a lot of dedication and management skills to retail jobs. I honestly wouldn’t mind calling myself a manager of a Starbucks one day.
Back to my sister, she’s getting married next month and since I live closer then our younger sister I’ll be the only sibling attending. Because of this I’m in the wedding party and will be helping a lot with the wedding. I’ve also been a person my sister has gone to to bitch about various elements that aren’t coming together smoothly. But I always try to calm her down and remind her it’ll be a great night
Anyways, today I was showing pictures to my sister of dresses I wanted to wear to the wedding. The one I like the most was a little pricey so I told her it was only worth it if she loved it too. She starts to go off on how there are jobs out there starting at 12/hrs
I lost my mind, I told her I wasn’t going to go to the wedding if she kept this up because it’s really making me uncomfortable, my rant ended in me saying I’m not a client, I’m her sister.
She replied by saying I should stop treating her like a client, and I’m just out of loss for words because I felt like as sisters I should be able to just complain and just have her assurance that it’s a bad day, not to ditch the whole job.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qErxeKXRmRnGw4b6jcUQW8Sp0MQNL54v
|
ai0t5o
|
{
"description": "texting my landlord about my housemates",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for texting my landlord about my housemates?
|
Sorry for the essay.
To keep anonymous I will keep several details different but basically I live in a very old duplex with two people that live above me on the second floor. Now first off I will say that I completely understand that a certain amount of noise from your neighbors is unavoidable and not their fault, I have lived in several apartments and I understand that people cannot help that the building makes noise when they walk around and do daily tasks. However it has become imo, really excessive. I have a large dog and so do they. When my Landlord told me that two people were moving upstairs with the dog, she assured me it was part of their lease to put carpeting down for the dog and to please let her know if there were any issues. Trying to be nice I texted them and let them know they are welcome to share the dog poop in outside as long as they do their part in taking it to the garbage etc. Not one time have they taken it out or changed the bag, but they use it twice daily for his poop, I do it every week. We share laundry, and when they do their laundry they tend to leave it in for a minimum of 48 hours until I text them that I have to do laundry as well. I am the only one who ever cleans the back staircase that we share. These are all issues I could easily ignore if not for the noise. I am aware that I make noise, and my dog barks, and my TV is turned up too loud. But most of the time my dog is barking at the ceiling wondering what the fuck is going on, and my TV is turned too loud to try to drown out the noise so that I can get some fucking sleep sometimes. Let’s get to the noise.
Their dog has a certain habit of chewing a bone directly on the wood floor which makes my ceiling fans shake, my walls shake, is so unbearably loud that my dog will actually start to shake and cry because it sounds like somebody is breaking in through the ceiling. I have texted them about this no less than four separate times, it continues to be a daily issue. In addition to that they are constantly slamming furniture around, throwing things at the ground, throwing the ball across the apartment and there are 90 pound dog runs around jumping and playing for hours at a time( we have a fenced in yard). They are yelling frequently. I get about 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night before work and I’m tired and crabby all the time. The noise is CONSTANT and way louder than somebody just walking around having a normal day. I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my fucking mind, so I finally texted my landlord and asked if I could and my lease early and move somewhere else. She said no and asked me why I wanted to leave because she knows I love my apartment and I told her only about the noise and laundry issue. I told her I would prefer for her to not contact them yet as I would like to trade a few more times for them to resolve it so we can remain friendly however she was angry because apparently it was part of their lease to put rugs down for their dog and they clearly have not so she insisted on emailing them And told me if I have any further issues with noise or the laundry to contact her again.
I now feel really awkward and I’m nervous seeing these people around, and I do feel badly about contacting the landlord but at the same time my quality-of-life has gone down significantly since they moved in, I pay a lot of money to live here and I can’t sleep or rest ever and I have to do my laundry on their schedule of when I can get them to fucking finish theirs.
I feel like I was a dick, I am a 27-year-old person acting like a grandmother complaining about noise but I can’t sleep and I’m going nuts! I feel like I pay to live here as well and I shouldn’t have to be miserable all the time because they act like they live in their own house. I did not tell my landlord that they smoke weed constantly and make my apartment smell like weed as well, and I didn’t tell the landlord that their dog tried to attack me outside and I am afraid of running into it in my own house and having it attack me or my dog.
Am I an asshole for contacting the landlord? Should I just suck it up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iGOJBNeJyDC8vHLVufFGjtQJ31aikvLv
|
b1szcc
|
{
"description": "banning someone from our dev team due to me not liking his controversial opinions",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for banning someone from our dev team due to me not liking his controversial opinions?
|
So for context, I've been working on an RPG Maker game for over 2 years now with a team helping to voice act aswell as make sprites, art and music for it.
We had a Co manager who seemed like a nice person at first, and he was a good guy for a while.
Then he started stating some of his opinions, and made a few offensive statements. For example:
"Most gay people online are just gay to seek attention"
"The majority of trans people are assholes and will attack straight people"
Me and the other Co manager started to get fed up with these opinions. Earlier today, he decided to state more of his opinions on trans folk and such other things. Well, the other Co manager got pissed and left. I came back and saw the chat.
My best friend is trans, and they're an amazing person. So seeing the generalisation of most trans people as assholes just pissed me off. I banned him from the discord, kicked him off the team, and sent one final message before blocking him:
"*insert name*, I can't do this anymore. Sorry. Too much is going on with you and I feel like it's going to negatively affect the team in the future. Goodbye."
I tried to keep it as professional as possible.
The other Co manager came back, and we explained what we had done. I feel like I might have been harsh. I don't know though
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
JWDXrDSbb3KTL8zFav0QtPW16WMR9vjf
|
b6e3xy
|
{
"description": "meeting up with ex, and more recent ex finds out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for meeting up with ex, and more recent ex finds out
|
So long story short cause I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I broke up with my girlfriend 6 days ago because I didn’t really feel a connection with her. Great girl so it seemed, but just didn’t have anything there so didn’t want to waste either of our time. Today I decide to go to another ex’s home, whom I broke up with 8 months ago for cheating with a friend of mine. I still care for the girl very much cause we were together for so long and I know her so well, but have no intentions of ever being with her. I go there to give her the verbal beatdown of her life because she is on and off dating a guy who is addicted to heroin and beats her. She is still in love with me, and tries to come onto me 10+ times which I stave off each one and eventually leave. My more recent ex is now following me and calling me telling me I’m a cheater and a liar and all sorts is shit. I make her get in my car and drive and talk, which I was kinda Dickish cause I felt I was being followed for no good reason. Ended up dropping her off just as mad as she was to begin with. AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
F8dMGne7s3wIsVpnS4soCIe6rdH2vtpH
|
b6137c
|
{
"description": "accusing a prostitute I'm seeing of being deceptive and manipulative",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 34
}
|
AITA for accusing a prostitute I'm seeing of being deceptive and manipulative?
|
So I (25M) started using an escort agency several years ago ever since I found out its legal in my country.
One year ago, I saw one of the girls (25F) from the agency. I really found her attractive so saw her again. And then again. And then again.
After finishing sex, we'd use the remaining time left to talk about our lives usually. Slowly I noticed we'd do this until we went ahead of time. Then one day, she offered me a free session. Then asked for my number.
Then we ended up meeting up outside of sessions and fucking for free. We got closer and began sort of....dating I guess? We know a lot about each other personally. We fuck a lot and I never pay.
Now recently, I started to think about this. I've been caught up in the excitement of it for so long that I nevet bothered to think about how crazy this all is.
She's a prostitute. She's fucked a lot of men. And most of all, she knows how to *use* sex...so I concluded through my own reasoning, that she's planning on getting me hooked on her to then withdraw sex, and then make me pay because she knows I'll be hooked.
So I called her to meet up and said to her "Tell me the truth....what's your fucking game?" and she said "What??" so I explained what I think her plan is.
She looked so shocked and disgusted at me that she called me "Fucking psycho asshole" and stormed out. But I think I have a right to be suspicious, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 34,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 34
}
|
WRONG
|
z3XCY09ph8qSZICbnH99lrj9KMYFFu4u
|
b3sypz
|
{
"description": "not telling a waiter I was undercharged",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for not telling a waiter I was undercharged?
|
Last night, my fiancee and I went to a semi-fancy restaurant to enjoy a nice quiet dinner together. We don't do this too often, but it feels good to get a little dressed up and have some good Italian food every once in a while. This time, she had a Groupon that was $63 off for four glasses of wine, two apps, and four main courses. We asked the waiter right at the beginning if we could order two of the main courses to go since there were only two of us, and she said no problem (not part of the assholery, I want to be clear that we weren't trying to trick anyone).
So we have a great meal, ordered our two other main courses to go, then asked for the check. This is where the potential assholery begins. Every item was accounted for on the check, and the total came out to $115 before tax. This meant we should have paid about $60 before tip when all was said and done. Not too bad. HOWEVER, we looked down at the total, and it said something like $7.32, which was just the tax. My fiancee figured we were just misunderstanding the check, as a lot of it was written by hand, so we put down the credit card. Then the receipt came back for a $7.32 total. We were surprised, to say the least, but also pretty excited at the prospect of having an extra $50 in our pocket.
Then my fiancee began to wonder if we should tell anyone. Nobody mentioned that our meal would be comped, and she was worried that someone put it in wrong and would get in trouble for it later. I said that it was fine, our waitress probably knew what she was doing, and not to look a gift horse in the mouth. We ended up not telling anybody, and my fiancee even said on the way out that she thought our waitress gave her a knowing nod as we thanked her.
So AITA (AWTA?) for not telling anyone about this potentially accidental comped meal? Also, since I think this is very relevant, we tipped $30, a 25% tip on the full amount of the check.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
Ny53gsQy8ovVAQRbe7o8wISKsuyQ1fvg
|
ayz8xu
|
{
"description": "wanting some affection",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting some affection?
|
My (ex) girlfriend and I recently broke up with the main reason being a lack of affection on her part. We only "officially" dated for a month, but we were into each other and practically dating for almost half a year. Although we were "dating", she never really showed any affection. We would never really hang out as there was always something up with her and we would only really see each other in high school. To describe it best, I was basically just a friend she occasionally kissed. Whenever I brought it up, she would always get hostile with me and blame that she was like this because of her exes. Before hand, she would say she would try to change, but closer to the breakup she said that she would always be un-affectionate, and wouldn't really change. She made me feel like shit, but always claimed she loved me. How hard is it to give the occasional hug? or to hold my hand? AITA for wanting to feel loved?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Nlgdxc8TfxCWu6fOZC3Jk1LuzNiWAeLG
|
b92tu0
|
{
"description": "not wanting to read my ex-wife's memoir",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to read my ex-wife's memoir?
|
My ex and I separated (and subsequently divorced) about two years ago. Since then, she has been very upfront with me that she's writing a memoir about the end of our marriage and her subsequent life being single. She has also told me that I am free to read it after it's done in case I want to object to how I'm portrayed.
The thing is that I really don't want to read it. I'm not ashamed of how things ended, and I don't feel like there's embarrassing dirty laundry that she might air.... I just can't really imagine myself sitting down and going through her accounting of that era for a few hundred pages.
As I figure it, the publishing market is so competitive that there's almost no way her book will be published anyway (and that's not a knock on her, because she's an excellent writer). However, in the off chance that the book gets published, I will have passed on an opportunity to have some say in it before it sees the light of day.
In short, I don't think she is being malicious, but I feel like her offering me the chance to read it is a continuation of patterns of control and self-absorption that were underlying the end of our marriage. Am I an asshole for wanting nothing to do with that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UNh6uWuexXmW6NYFkxZOPfNV58e5S8gm
|
azh2yt
|
{
"description": "getting tired of my girlfriend's poor English",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting tired of my girlfriend's poor English?
|
Both of us are non-native speakers in the US. We have been together for about a year now. When I first met her, her English didn't seem to be a problem as it's decent enough to have a quick chat but as time passed by I realised that she has a very limited vocabulary and hardly formulates a sentence without making a grammatical error. I believe that this prevents us from having meaningful conversations 90% of the times as I have to ask multiple questions - for every single sentence she says - to fully understand her, at which point I find myself losing interest.
I politely brought up the topic and suggested that we work on our English together as mine isn't perfect either. I told her about how often you need to Google things up when you're not sure about how to use certain words and that it takes hard work, practice and time to get better with a language. I suggested mobile applications that she could use to improve her vocabulary. I bought her a kindle and read a book with her so that we could talk about it and she doesn't lose interest and develops the habit of reading. She read a few chapters sincerely for a while but after that I really had to push her to complete the book and after that she stopped reading. The problem is that she doesn't believe that there is enough room for improvement as her general argument is that other people understand her fairly well and that her English is a lot better than other people from her country.
I feel bad for expecting her to change herself for me but also I find it really difficult to carry on this way, specially when I think about a long-term relationship with her. Would I be the asshole if I left her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
wTXQTy0OCmBPOkf9D9tJHW6VrfeH1TfP
|
b6gqyh
|
{
"description": "telling 2 of my friends that I think they are very unreliable people who's words having no value for me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I told 2 of my friends that I think they are very unreliable people who's words have no value for me?
|
I have a group of close friends. We are all in our late 20's.
2 of them (guy,girl) have proven to be extremely unreliable in an alike manner. All the incidents Im gonna mention happened both individually and in a group setting, MANY times throughout 4-8 years.
Examples:
\-Being late, CONSTANTLY, (over 40mins). And say say stuff like "yeah i know im an asshole" and thats it. No attempts to change it.
\-Making plans to meet and not showing up, without letting you know. You'd wait for them and they wouldnt show OR, they wouldnt even pick up the phone. And if you do reach them they'll be like "oh yeah, i couldnt make it sorry" (this one i REALLY cant wrap my head around. it takes little effort to text "cant make it, sorry")
\-Making me go to hospital (was urgent, but i was being an idiot) and promising they'll come with me and not picking up the phone the next day.
These are just some of the examples that keep repeating. there are many more, that made me realize that while they are good people they lack respect for anyone if they keep doing that stuff.
long ago I had a crush on the guy and didnt act on it. Yesterday the girl asked why i never did anything about him.
i gave her a vague response.
But what i really wanted to tell her was "One of the reasons is that I love you both very much, but you are very unreliable, and dont seem to take the people around you into consideration, when they tell you that your behavior is harming them, and while i might have made my peace with that, im not sure i will tolerate they way they behave in a partner.
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
rJnmTpJHB9aocTmrrEAyHTDH6cFUJ5xP
|
9ykhye
| null |
AITA - GF left me because of snap streaks
|
Hey,
So background info, I (28m) have been dating this girl for two years now and it’s been good. Sure, we’ve had our fights but always made it through it. I’m a registered nurse so 95% of my co workers are female.
Anyways, I have a snap streak with 3 co workers. Nothing crazy the streaks are 18, 7, 7. I work with these girls every day and the snaps are literally work or cat related and nothing else.
My gf saw these streaks and exploded, kicked me out, locked me out of the apartment for a night.
We spoke about it finally today after not talking for 48 hours and I said “these girls mean nothing to me, they’re just coworkers I work with almost every shift”. She asked if I still had the streaks and I do, (I should killed the streaks after the fight, I know).
Anyways she said, “we’re not going to make it through this fight if you keep defending your pathetic actions. I don’t even know who are anymore”
LIKE WHAT. ITS SNAPCHAT. Just tell me to remove them, Jesus. AITA? Cus I feel like a jerk and I’m pretty down about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZfMJR5WPc34NfXq7zGiQ0WBiCqsBZ7JG
|
af36u5
|
{
"description": "wanting more attention from my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting more attention from my best friend?
|
Sorry, posting on a throwaway because she knows the name on my Reddit account and I’d rather her not know it was me posting yet because she does use Reddit.
​
For a little bit of background, my best friend and I have known each other for around 10 years. We had a class together when we were younger, but we didn’t really get close until around 6 years ago. We ended up dating and broke up, but we stayed friends and got really close again.
​
We don’t really live close at all, so most of our talking happens online, usually when both of us had time (which was often). However, she recently made a new group of friends and tends to hang out with them more. Normally this wouldn’t bother me, making new friends is always great, right? But what’s happened is that because she’s made new friends, she doesn’t talk to me or respond as much even though I know she’s online and active (I’m in a discord server of hers and I can see her talking in it). Now I’ve talked to her about how it bothers me, because she has complained about how her now boyfriend tends to not talk to her very often at times, and I pointed out the hypocrisy of how she wants him to respond and give her attention, but she does what he’s doing to me. This happened before as well, and is actually what caused our break up the first time.
​
Now that break has ended and she’s had more time to be online and talk, she has continued to do the same thing. Towards the end of break I let her know that I wanted to have a talk so that I could rant about things (because she’s still my best friend and really the only one I’m comfortable ranting to), but she’s been back at school for a week and hasn’t mentioned that she’s had time to talk. I brought it up today, and she told me that she’s been avoiding having the talk because she hates having talks. The thing is, whenever she has problems or something comes up, I always drop what I’m doing to listen to her, but I haven’t had to rant and she’s been out with those new friends basically all week.
​
Am I the asshole for expecting her to give me some attention and actually talk to me? Or am I just being overly clingy and should back off for a while?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ken2m7JUbETqjmPlEV1j5yoQ11ikLIeC
|
ay6vqe
|
{
"description": "throwing a kid into a lake",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For throwing A kid into a lake?
|
This story takes place probably about 9 years ago, when i was around 13. I was at a campground for the weekend, camping with my family and enjoying the summer. The campground was at a lake, and I would spend every day fishing, swimming, and catching snakes, of which there was a great many of at the lake. Now, snakes and other animals had always been a passion of mine, having grown up watching Jeff Corwin and, of course, Steve Irwin (As an aside, FUCK PETA), and I loved nothing more than to go out, catch snakes, frogs, and turtles, and show them to the other kids at the campground to show them that they weren't scary.
Well, one day while I am fishing, I notice some kids from the campground next to ours yelling and screaming. At first I thought they were just being kids and having fun. But then I heard crying.
I decided to go make sure everything was alright, and reeled up my line and walked over.
What I saw made my blood run hot.
3 kids were on the beach, laughing at another girl, probably about 8 or so, while a teenager, probably about 15, was running through the water, a big grin on his face as he smacked at it with a stick. Confused, I walked closer, to see he was trying to beat a tiny, maybe foot long garter snake to death.
Now for those of you who don't know, a garter snake is a small, thin snake that feeds on bugs, amphibians, worms, and fish. It is on hundred percent harmless to humans.
Now here comes the part where I MAY have been an asshole.
Throwing down my fishing stuff, I charge over, while the kid chases the snake up onto the land. I yell at him, and he turns to me, and i could see the surprise in his face. Now he was probably six inches taller than me, since i was pretty short for my age. But I was also a football lineman for my school, and weighed more than him by a long shot.
I grabbed him by the throat and by the belt he had on, wrenching him down to me and screaming in his face, before practically tossing him into the lake. I then grab the snake and check it for damage. It had a gash on its back and had a small bit of it's tail broken off, but otherwise seemed fine.
As the kid was getting out of the lake, I yelled at him, asking what the hell he thought he was doing. He sputtered and looked confused, and just said something about it biting one of the kids. I asked him which one, and he pointed to the little girl who had been asking him to stop.
I had her come over to me, putting on my best nice guy face. She was scared, of course, but still came over. I asked her if she was scared of the snake, and like any 8 year old girl, she nodded and said yes. I held out the snake and had her touch it, which she was hesitant to do, but when she did I saw her eyes light up. I explained to her and the other kids, who had crowded in closer to look, that snakes are nice, and aren't trying to hurt anyone. To illustrate the point, i put the snake down, and it immediately slithered away.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zUdRmvVDAAqVNy5XpsdF0zHm6gUKQ8py
|
9wprhq
|
{
"description": "laughing in his face",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for laughing in his face?
|
Last week I was minding my own business, crossing the street looking like a walking pile of garbage (hadn't showered in 48 hours, didn't have a stitch of makeup on, my skin was breaking out, and I was wearing baggy boyfriend jeans and an old t-shirt--I'm not proud of myself, but it is what it is). Anyway, a pretty attractive guy in his mid-twenties approached me and said, "Excuse me? I just saw you from across the street, and you took my breath away.” I was so caught off guard that I immediately laughed INTO his face. I'm still trying to determine his motive. Was he making fun of me? Was he some sort of super-charming-Ted-Bundy-type serial killer? Or am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
bVAnzNpC4Hk1wjgOz2zUen5EKtxkkjFD
|
b7otfz
|
{
"description": "not wanting to constantly compliment people",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not wanting to constantly compliment people?
|
I have a friend who often texts me and it normally goes fine for a while but then they say something like “I’m so stupid,” or “I’m not good anything,” wanting me to say back to them “Don’t say that” or “You’re good at ____.” It gets tiring after a while as they keep arguing with me that they’re not good at anything. Today I finally said “If you want to keep insulting yourself and fishing for compliments then go somewhere else.” After that they stopped texting me but it’s clear that they’re mad and I kind of feel bad. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
t3CAL740z5gKmeKEJLsBC5hVrfwR2mAU
|
b6lva2
|
{
"description": "not wanting to forgive child support arrears",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to forgive child support arrears
|
I do not post a lot so I am sorry if the format is wrong also on mobile.
Backstory: In 2014 my wife (29F) and I (29M) got custody of her sisters 5 children. Shortly after that we found out we were going to have our first child. So we went from 0 to 6 kids in 9 months. Well part of getting custody was setting up child support. We both knew that neither parent would likely pay anything so we told the court to set the support at $550 a month for each parent. This is not a lot of child support for 5 kids and we hoped by setting it low we may be able to get something. We live in NC and the children’s parents live in TX.
In 2018 my parents were involved in a really bad accident and we lost my mom. I was in TX with my family and my wife made arrangements with her sister to stay with the children at our home in NC while she consoled me in TX. This lead to her sister trying to forcibly regain custody by saying I was abusive and that we abandoned the kids. Long story short everything she did failed, however she irreparably damaged our relationship with her. We wanted nothing to do with her anymore and decided to help get the kids set up and moved to their Dads house in TX.
That all ended around Aug. 2018 when the dad let my SIL see them and she never brought them back to him. After that things went quite from them. We contacted the child support office and informed them that we no longer had the kids so that they would stop trying to collect more child support. That stopped the child support that the parents owed from growing, but they still owe arrears. Fast forward to today when my wife is hysterical because she is getting texts from the kids dad because he finally got a job and is being told that he is going to have his paycheck garnished to pay arrears. AITA for wanting to get the child support that we are owed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
8yI8nVehqXsD0QWDRz9v4ypTVwmouT28
|
ayvh24
|
{
"description": "cutting a possibly autistic friend off",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting a possibly autistic friend off?
|
I’m 15 and in a group of about six other kids. Four girls, two guys.
So one of these girls, let’s call her Bowzette, has poor interpersonal skills and is generally not great at relationships in general. She’s also a really private person and can only deal with the ‘flirty friend’ status of relationships. Also, comments related to sex are completely off limits with her. Also she has really bad anxiety and bulimia etc. We were all really worried about her getting abused at hine.
Anyway, this new guy came into our group, let’s call him Big Kev.
Big Kev joined our group a few months ago and he is kinda weird. He won’t make conversation unless he’s really close to you or if it’s about politics, (he says he is a communist). He won’t let you have a different opinion and will argue to the DEATH with you, e,g. A girl in my group is Christian and says marriage is between a man and woman, so he shouted at her for all of lunch and made her cry. Thing is, he is also a bit of a racist. There is a guy in our group who is black and he makes weird jokes at him, about slave ships and stuff. It freaks me out.
Anyway, Big Kev fancied Bowzette, so they started DMing whatever.
But then, as was later revealed, he started stalking her. Following her around WHILE NOT SPEAKING, staring, waiting for her, walking her home IN SILENCE. It freaked her out, she told him to stop. He didn’t.
Anyway, she started having panic attacks cos she felt like she lost control and her bulimia worsened because of the stress, So this one guy in our group, let’s call him Darren, goes up to him Big Kev and tells him to fuck off and that no one likes him. So he does. And he dropped out of school and has no friends because he only hung out with our group and got bullied by everyone else.
The thing is, I was complicit in this. I didn’t speak up for Big Kev despite being close with him, (talking outside of school whatever, sleepovers, parties), and I think he struggles with social interaction and he may have autism.
I just can’t sympathise with him because of his character but I don’t want this to ruin his life, (no GCSEs etc and depressed).
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3agz49czEeeovoEubo0l6oka0Cy30J7D
|
9uoc93
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share my chips",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to share my chips
|
Background: my company is doing a partnership job with a local company therefore we share a house. I’ve been in another country 4months. Country is totally different culture & food wise. The job is in a rural area so there’s not a lot of options to eat/get food and I’m a little picky. I’ll be here two more months.
I ask my company to send some snacks, the local guys asked if they can get a taste and ofc gave a bag, they liked it so much that now are eating my chips like is theirs even after I bought local chips as a way to let them know stop eating mine, locked mine and they are angry because I don’t wanna share. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pgaAzgVRvFWP4qxwtLPBPeuUCYs1XZhn
|
b9guv9
|
{
"description": "refusing to be a friend's character reference for army enlistment because I disagree morally with military recruitment",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for refusing to be a friend's character reference for army enlistment because I disagree morally with military recruitment?
|
Context: United States.
​
A good friend of mine has asked me to be her character reference to support her enlistment in the army. I have advocated on her behalf during her challenging college search and have always been firmly in her corner even when no one else was. She often feels like she's living in more successful peoples' shadow, including her brother, who just recently enlisted. She has yet to tell me why she's joining, just that she needs a reference. She has never once mentioned the army before this.
​
However, I find military recruitment morally reprehensible. I went to HS in an impoverished district and saw a lot of penniless students get swept up into military service just so they could get through college and have the same opportunities as their wealthier counterparts. If someone feels genuinely passionate about serving their country, then I say more power to 'em. I can respect that. But I can't respect the downright predatory and manipulative techniques used to bolster recruitment, particularly the targeting of minorities, the impoverished, and women.
​
I want to support my friend in whatever path she chooses in life, but I feel very uneasy about actively supporting her choice to join the army. I don't really want to be an active participant in her enlistment because I don't think she's joining for the right reasons, and I think recruitment played a huge role in her decision. I of course will emotionally support her no matter what.
​
So AITA if I refuse to be her reference?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
MZ46UsT1x114fdO8WqarNCYQ47zcslKN
|
a2l2t5
|
{
"description": "arguing with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for arguing with my mom.
|
I just got in a big argument withy my mom, Im in 10th grade now and I think my mom has some sort of conplex. She always wakes up late in the morning before we plan a family trip and yells at everybody else for not preparing, doesnt work at all and our house is always a mess, and she will never admit she is wrong no matter what. In addition when she is mad, my dad yells me to just hide in my room and avoid her, this happens about once a month and their is no reasoning with her at all, she will never listen to anything we say no matter how much it makes sense. My aunts and my grandma on my moms side seem to agree with me and she has been in a few large scale arguments against the rest of my family. Recently she threw away some of my skin care medication(non-prescription). I argued with her and told her that this was the last straw and I became really mad telling her that she needs to get a job, start to listen to what I have to say. i referenced getting a job because my dad always comes home from work just to get yelled at by her and we always have adjust ans listen to everything she says. I'm not who is right here, I want to acknowledge her reasons to though. She says that I have a messy room, (which is true)and that wheter she gets a job or not is between her and my dad which is another valid reasons. I hope what I did wasn't just fueled by my anger and I need some help. Thanks guys.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QDKEFwLbv8VkMaSayJJMgpLkRauYCOZo
|
b5l4uo
|
{
"description": "insulting my Girlfriend's food",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for Insulting My Girlfriend's Food?
|
My girlfriend and I were video chatting each other, and she had gotten home from school so naturally she was hungry. Her family made sure to get her some take out from some restaurant. It's not a restaurant that's particularly special or important to her. In the box was some steak katsu, rice, soup etc.
​
​
While she was eating, I saw the steak katsu in the webcam and I jokingly mentioned "haha the steak katsu looks like a stick or something." She got super offended and took it REALLY personal. She was equating it to someone saying to me "haha your girlfriend is so ugly," and "you got an IPhone?? Why would you even get that?" which I think is a completely unfair comparison. I really don't understand why she took it so personal. I would understand if she had cooked up the meal and put a lot of time and effort into it. In that situation it'd be HER food, that in a way a representation of her and her ability to cook, but considering that it's just food that she got as take out which has no relation to her or her character, why would that be offensive?
​
​
Am i missing something here or am I the insensitive asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Lxm6khAT0KdT2ViwaXYcJNHa4ZuatK2j
|
an6h6s
|
{
"description": "cutting contact with relatives I don't like",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting contact with relatives I don't like?
|
This is more "settle a debate" than any real issue at this stage. Growing up I was raised with two cousins like we were siblings. They are sisters, and when we were kids they would randomly bully me because I was younger and smaller and so on. Fast forward to our teens, and they stopped growing around 5 ft. I got the tall genes and ended up 7 inches taller. At some point around the time I turned 16 when my meanest cousin was in her early 20's she insulted me and hit me (not unusual behavior for her) and I beat the hell out of her. I freely admit that I overreacted to her hitting me in the face with a comb. It just...flipped a switch and for a good 5 minutes I forgot that I am 7 inches taller and a lot stronger.
Anyway, after that she stopped trying to bully me. That was 25+ years ago and we have interacted in person on occasion, but basically we only exchange hi & bye at family functions when necessary. Her sister (who I never beat up) once tried to criticize my parenting because I wouldn't make my son hug her & while I kept my hands to myself I basically told her to mind her business and not my child. Again, after that we exchanged polite greetings and otherwise don't speak.
Fast forward to now, my dad is ill and so is my mom. I'm an only child so I take care of things for them that they can't take care of themselves. They live in an apartment building owned by my aunt & managed by my cousins. There's been a series of problems with the building (the furnace went out, the hot water heater stopped working, the lights in the back were out, no one shoveled etc) and my parents have largely reached a point where they can't handle the repeated need to chase my cousins down to get work done. I've taken that over and correspond with them exclusively by email. It's all business because as far as I'm concerned we're only going to deal with each other until the spring when my parents will move into an assisted living facility. Anyway, I had to go over to the building for some paperwork, saw them and my aunt in the hallway, spoke and kept walking.
My aunt is sort of old lady insistent that we are family and should try to get along. I am not interested. I do not think they are interested either. For all practical purposes if our mothers weren't sisters we would not be friends. They're super religious, fairly judgemental from what I have overheard at family functions, and just not my kind of people. I'm not their kind of people either. It's fine, I don't wish them ill, I will be glad when my parents move into their new place because they (and my aunt) seem to be slum lords in the making, but I am largely divorced from any emotional ties to them. In a discussion about it, the fact that we're a small family came up. I got the "Be the bigger person speech" and I made it clear that I am firm in my decision to maintain the last 25 years of cordial distance. Am I the asshole for not being the bigger person?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
c0wVo0YlJKjhru3CzUuWzJCYYdUfXmji
|
aqeh48
|
{
"description": "not sharing a collaborative study guide with a classmate",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not sharing a collaborative study guide with a classmate?
|
One of my classmates, who I’ll call Jacob, had a pretty bad reputation throughout the department. I‘d heard stories of his behavior before having classes with him. It was pretty obvious to me where his bad rep came from even on day 1 of classes with him.
He was the typical college English snob, was outwardly misogynistic and found ways to incorporate this, his “intellectual superiority,” and other harmful beliefs into a lot of his work/discussions. He made it really difficult to work in groups because rather than contributing to projects, he would just take up time by distracting people and even insulting them (whether intentionally or not). One of his group projects I saw play out ended with him insulting a partner to the point of tears, which he apparently felt no remorse over.
Anyway, our class is gearing up for a big midterm exam. A couple weeks out, I set up a study guide on google docs to share with my classmates. I would’ve shared it with everyone automatically, but I didn’t have everyone’s emails. So I messaged the class in the course’s online page, offering to share if they sent me their email. I made sure to share with everyone who asked and provided their email. Jacob did not ask so I could not share it with him.
The study guide fills up, we all take the test, and when our professor passes it back, he tells us we are all welcome to retake it if we want.
After this, Jacob was the only one in the class who messaged me asking for access to the study guide. I did not feel comfortable giving him the guide that he had not contributed to, when over half his classmates had worked together to finish it. I told him exactly this and that I was open to talk about it, but he never responded.
A few days before the retake, he messaged the whole class his own version of a study guide, saying he had to make a new one because “he apparently was not allowed on the other one.”
I talked to a few other classmates to see what they thought, but I worry that my (our) bias about him made me TA.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
98X3HAuLpR8iEKODueTHYHcIuQvuwcEn
|
asq0n0
|
{
"description": "being upset that my bf retracted his offer paying for my meal",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being upset that my bf retracted his offer paying for my meal?
|
So last night, we all went out with friends. I was fully ready to pay for my meal, which was wings. I ordered a side fries because I thought everything came with fries, but it ended up being an extra $2.99. He offered to pay for my meal and I told him what I ordered and he seemed okay. I ordered another beer and told him I’ll pay for that one (has a fun and tonic and a beer in total). Then a while later he says “why don’t you pay for your own meal. Didn’t think you’d order all this stuff” (literally fries and a beer). I got upset at the table, like I was just quiet and wasn’t smiling much, just drank my beer. He got mad at me when I told him why I was upset. Fast forward, we talked it out and everything seemed fine. I looked at the bill and asked him what I owe him, and he said “don’t worry about it”. WHAT THE FUCK. Then he gets MAD at me and won’t say he loved me when I told him goodnight. I gave him every opportunity to let me pay!!! And now he’s still upset with me, the next day, that I “expect” him to pay. Which I never did, but I think it’s rude to offer to pay and then just retract your offer and get mad at the person when they get upset. I offered to pay for the extra things but he still got mad!! It’s $12 more which I was fine with paying. Not only that, he left a hefty tip and the bill came to $80, and he expects me to pay $40. I was never even discussed the tip amount. I literally am broke after buying him things for Christmas, his birthday and Valentine’s Day and he knows that. Am I the asshole for being upset??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
flhxYHFGg8xQmKVNQ6mSLPQM4lH7UoMC
|
a992fd
|
{
"description": "not paying rent even though I'm not living at home anymore",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not paying rent even though I'm not living at home anymore...
|
Ahhhh a family argument on Christmas Eve... brilliant.
So here's some facts:
My mum and dad divorced when I was 8, 10 years ago. Mum moved out the family home and I pretty much lived with her permanently. We have been fine financially, up until a few months ago.
I soon found out that she was using my dads child support to pay the bills and rent. When this stopped when I turned 18 in June, she started asking me for rent. I was working part-time as I was still in education, but didn't mind chucking her £200 for rent. None of my friends pay rent, but oh well.
Recently, I landed a dream career in the fire service in London, and if I may say so myself, earn very decent money for myself. My training salary is £27k, her salary is £18k - you get the idea.
I left home on the 17th of December and moved 120 miles away to London, paying £600 a month in AirBnb for training. I will be moving to London in a flat once I pass out from training, which is looking to be about £800 p/m rent depending on my station allocation.
Mum has asked for full rent for December, because I came home on Sunday to spend time with my family over Christmas (because training is off), so owe her for the month. Fine, that's cool with me.
She then asked for January's. I will be home for 15 hours in January. Like literally, I leave at 3pm and will not be returning until late March for a couple days. I said no, and thought i was well within my right to say no.
Her arguments are as followed:
\- I earn more than her now so I'm in a debt for raising me for 18 years
\- She can't get someone to live in my room so it'll be filled with my stuff
\- She won't be able to afford rent if I don't give her the cash
She is insisting I pay, but I don't understand why and don't want to start a full blown argument. My argument, amongst not actually living there, is that I won't be able to afford London rent AND rent at home too if I want to live comfortably.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8WpcU60e9erwbt8R7mdKH2hIDOmw4mq0
|
aiadis
|
{
"description": "not letting my boyfriend touch me intimately, unless he gets a manicure",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not letting my boyfriend touch me intimately, unless he gets a manicure.
|
I thought I was weird, but I think this might make me an asshole
My boyfriend hasn't fingered me yet or touched me down there. I don't want him to unless he gets a manicure.
The thought of unclean, bitten, not manicured nails going INSIDE ME or touching me down there makes me seriously cringe. I have a huge issue with bad cuticles. Cuticles are a big deal to me.
His nails are clean and clipped but he doesn't take care of his cuticles. I don't expect most 19 year old guys too. I don't love him any less or find him less attractive because of it, but I don't want him touching me down there.
I do give him handjobs and I'm more than satisfied with just making out with him. HE was the one who really wanted to finger me. He's someone I love and find attractive, so I obviously would like for that happen. But not if he's not manicured. If he doesn't want to get one, I'm cool with keeping things the way they are.
Now here's the problem.
I told him that he needs a manicure if he wants to touch me down there and he got his feelings hurt :(. He thought I was calling him unhygienic. He thinks it's weird for a guy to get a manicure, and his friends will call him gay for it. But he'll think about it. But I swear I'd die and go to heaven if is nails were shiny and polished. But I think clear coat might be too much, that's not what I'm asking for.
But no way I'd let him touch me down there, if there isn't a manicure and proper cuticle care.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
bLMtNQG6JXITzU1cU7cIdl8AyDFBhk30
|
awzes7
|
{
"description": "not telling my friend about people doing coke at her party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not telling my friend about people doing coke at her party?
|
So my friend had a party and she invited some boys in our friendship group who are KNOWN for being drug users. She explicitly told them no drugs. During her party one of the boys pulls me to the side and asks if I want some coke. I thank him but say no and tell them they shouldn’t be doing it as my friend has explicitly said no drugs. I didn’t mention it to my friend as I didn’t want to cause a scene and thought it would ruin the night for her, and I actually forgot about it as I was quite drunk, until my friend and another friend were praising one of the boys in question for how nice and, to use her words, “innocent” he was. The other friend was romantically involved with him and I didn’t like him as I thought she could do a lot better (he’s known for being sly, proven by the fact he had told her he doesn’t do drugs). I tell them that he can’t be that nice as he was doing coke at the party behind her back, and she went absolutely mad at me and stopped speaking to me because apparently I should’ve told her at the time and it was strange how I’d used that as a reason to express my disapproval of him. I didn’t tell her at the time as she even said herself it would’ve ruined the party. I also get along with the boys in question a lot better than her, she’s an asshole herself and tbh I didn’t really need to tell her at all. She’s not annoyed at the boys in question for disobeying her even though she views them as friends and she’s not confronted them but she’s completely stopped speaking to me? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
yUZUDZJGsYMCjhy6e0fAwdsSV4ebo4WH
|
a291ci
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my roommates for not shutting the sliding door all the way closed during winter",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my roommates for not shutting the sliding door all the way closed during winter?
|
Some context: my roommates and I live on the ground floor of an apartment building and thus have a sliding door we can get into and out of our apartment with instead of using the building door.
Every time I've come home the last two weeks, if someone else is home, the door is slightly cracked. I live in the US near DC, it's cold right now, consistently in the 30-40's (farenheit). I brought it up politely before, and mostly got poo-pooed for being neurotic about the door.
Today, I came home, and the door is cracked open. I come in and loudly ask "Why is the door cracked? Whoever goes in and out needs to slide it shut." Both my roommates jumped down my throat about being an asshole immediately.
Context on the situation: they did have guests over, and I disregarded that this might be rude to get on people's cases about when there are guests over. Allegedly, that why is my roommates were mad tonight, despite this being a recurring problem I've addressed before.
My opinion is that it is even more reasonable to bring up when there are guests over. They should be aware of shutting the door too, it's not a hard task and it runs up our heating bill.
TL:DR? I am the asshole for wanting a door shut all the way during winter so we don't run up the heating bill, even if I bring this issue up in front of guests?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
Xx0CNQg6fJ5FcQiubMPoyDjIlJRaowbP
|
agfb3l
|
{
"description": "demanding that my roommate get a full time job after just getting hired on part time",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for demanding that my roommate get a full time job after just getting hired on part time?
|
So I befriended someone online last year (we'll call him A) and learned that he was in a really shit situation financially and emotionally. He used to live in the south and his family and the people in his small town weren't very respectful or accepting of his gender identity/sexuality/general existence. I wasn't in a much better place financially, but after much begging and pleading on my part (he didn't want to move across the US to live in the Pacific Northwest initially because he'd never lived so far from home, which is understandable) he finally let me buy him a plane ticket to get to me.
​
He moved in with me in July of 2018, and I already had a job waiting for him when he got up here. Through no fault of his own, he was laid off a week later (the job had been for a temp agency in a volatile position that depended entirely upon the work load the company had, and the temp agency had hired too many people for what the job required). A couple of weeks later, he found another job.
​
At this point, we were living in a shitty little 1 bedroom apartment with a third roommate (J), who had approved of and helped with the decision to move A in with us, but J had made it clear he was moving out at the end of the lease. Come October, I'd been laid off from my job for the same reason as A (we'd been working in different departments at the same company), but found another job within a day of being laid off. He was working too, but was getting less and less hours. He eventually decided to quit...a week or so after we moved into our new apartment (this is important, as it sets a precedent).
​
I barely managed to convince him to wait until he had another job lined up, because I would have had to pay all of our bills (which doesn't amount to as much as some people's I know) on not enough income. But it didn't matter anyway, because he ended up getting laid off from there too. Fast forward two and a half months, and he's finally gotten another job (after I've had to pull some shady shit to get our bills paid for which I already know I'm the asshole). I had to beg and plead with him to actually put in applications in the first place and I dragged him to the Subway he got a job at to put in his application.
​
For those of you who don't know, Subway doesn't do 'full time' (40 hours a week minimum) for anyone who isn't management. Their 'full time' is no more than 30 hours a week, as it is dependent upon the company's policy what their definition of full time is. Minimum wage here isn't enough to survive on, as in most places, especially not if you're only making part time. I was ecstatic for him when he got a job, because the stress of having to pay all the bills and buy our groceries was killing me.
​
I got an email from the recruiter of the temp agency I work for now that my site is hiring for 3 more positions in my department. I don't make amazing money here, but it's more than minimum wage and is guaranteed 40 hours a week. Not to mention that the only skill you need to have is the basic understanding of how to use a computer and talk on a headset, and it's temp to hire (hired on permanently after 90 days). I'd talked to A about this in the past about possibly getting a position here and he agreed that he would be interested. I told him about the position and he immediately said that he wouldn't do it because he'd just gotten hired on with Subway.
​
I have had three separate conversations (read: arguments) with him about this, trying to get him to understand why I'm so anxious and upset about him taking this part time food service job over a full time temp to hire position that is so much more secure and has consistent hours. And he comes back at me saying that I need to stop bothering him about it and that it's starting to piss him off that I'm not respecting his decision. I'm frustrated beyond belief, and I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to make rent if he's not getting consistent hours. It's putting strain on our friendship, and I'm too much of a pushover (not a humblebrag, i'm the fucking worst about this) that I'll never be able to kick him out, especially since he literally has nowhere to go. He couldn't even get back home to the south if he wanted to because we have $0 in savings.
​
Logically, I think I know I'm not the asshole in this situation, but I am constantly doubting myself about everything I say and do because I'm not a terribly confident person, and I'm anxious about everything and anything I do. Especially when it comes to roommates, as I've had pretty much this exact situation happen in the past. You'd think I'd learn, but that's where that pushover bit comes to bite me in the ass. Anyway, this is my first post on Reddit and I'm sorry for writing a novel for you all. Let me know what you guys think...?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
4JlZEPQdQRZvJM4AxTqbsKOi5iQSbsYz
|
b9sc18
|
{
"description": "asking if something can be done about the dope boys in my historically black neighborhood",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For asking if something can be done about the dope boys in my historically black neighborhood?
|
I live in a city that is pretty segregated, with the south side being more associated with black residents. I live in a south side community that is probably about 90% black, with whites, Asians, Latinx people mixed in the rest. My specific community is a more affluent historical black community. I am half white, half south Asian.
​
I have been living here for the last three+ years because it is quieter, and also for the same amount of money on the north side, I would be living in a closet, twice as far from work. I have a decent job, but I have a lot of regular expenses including $700 per month towards student loans and helping my poverty-level family back home, so money is still a bit tight. Renting a room in the south side allows me to live within my means.
​
My neighborhood is almost entirely residential, with the sole exception of one street that leads to the major public transportation stops. In that stretch, there are a bunch of low quality shops and fast food joints. This is also where all of the dope boys hang out, selling weed.
​
On a normal walk to or from the train, I pass 1-3 "loud loud loud loud"ers trying to sell me weed, and this even happens when I am walking with other people. This has been a continuous thing over the past 3 years (they don't get the hint). In addition to finding it incredibly annoying, I wonder why it is allowed? These boys don't live in this neighborhood, they only come here to sell their drugs. Weed is still illegal in this city and I imagine this type of dealing would be illegal regardless.
​
I'm not a consumer, I don't mind if people do, but I really feel like this type of activity really brings down the neighborhood. I didn't think that this would be controversial. As a non-POC, I am just having a hard time understanding why this is so normalized. I get that there are structural inequalities, but selling weed seems like the easy way out (SN: I wouldn't dare say lazy, as this would draw out accusations of me being a racist, but that's absolutely what I mean. It takes effort to learn a marketable skill. Drug dealing at this scale is lazy and regressive.)
​
Am I the asshole for bringing this up in a community forum? Not a single person expressed any agreement to my post and I was immediately accused of being a "privledged princess", a "gentrifier" and "inviting POLICE to harass Black boys".
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
nGEl1OOGn2e1itxEfvXejvRArOrmyOTg
|
adp3w6
|
{
"description": "smacking a teenager",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA For smacking a teenager?
|
I had my 6 year old daughter at the park earlier today, as there was a community event going on nearby and there would be a lot of kids for her to play with. It didn't take long before I noticed a huge teenager, I'm guessing 16-17, playing extremely rough with his siblings. Like almost sadistically rough, shoving them off the play equipment, slapping them as they came down slides, that sort of thing. Several parents were discussing it and multiple asked him to cool it and were ignored. I told my daughter to play with the kids away from him, and he was getting progressively more rough and his parents were nowhere in sight.
Eventually her and a small handful of children around her age and a couple of parents broke away from that group to play at a smaller jungle gym nearby. All was well until this guy and one of his brothers came over, and he tried to get his younger brother to encourage the other kids to "play fight." Myself and other parents told him off. For the next few minutes he climbed the outside of the jungle gym, ran up slides, threw swings over the bar and people were actively looking for his parents and some suggested calling the cops. I was about to call my daughter back over to leave, and told him he was "acting like an idiot". Apparently this set him off, because as my daughter was walking down the jungle gym stairs he slammed into her from behind with his hip as hard as he could and launched her off onto the ground and immediately goes "sorry, I'm an idiot."
I ran over, smacked him in the face and immediately pulled my daughter up to safety and put her behind me. Again, my daughter is 6 and this kid was huge. I'm 5'8, 200lbs and he was a head taller than me and at least my weight and he checked my kid like a hockey player. Here's the kicker, his fucking parents had been 20 feet away this whole time and had outright ignored this behavior and didn't speak up when other parents asked around for them. The kid is sitting on the ground crying, saying I hit him and to call the police. Other parents advocated for me, and I swear to God this guy starts yelling at his son despite not giving a fuck five minutes prior, doesn't say a word about me hitting him, and rounds up his other kids. Doesn't call the cops, doesn't say shit. Other parents are checking in, making sure my daughter is ok.
I don't feel like I'm the asshole, but maybe I have a biased view and handled it poorly so I could use some perspective. Violence isn't usually my go-to, but seeing my child slam the ground that hard and someone that big standing over her set something off and I viewed him as an immediate threat to her safety, I just reacted to keep her safe and get her out of there. I hit him hard enough to floor him and clearly he wasn't "normal" for his age, so I maybe went a bit too hard.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
nyNN08oEPbIOIOyHiSFGZazvt2JTcmts
|
antlja
|
{
"description": "being upset that my boyfriend is apparently planning on ditching me for part of our Vegas trip",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for being upset that my [f27] boyfriend [m29] is apparently planning on ditching me for part of our Vegas trip?
|
Been together a little over 2 years. BF always visits Vegas during March Madness and bets on the games. This was typically a boys’ weekend, but last year his boys couldn’t make it so he invited me. We didn’t actually do much since he was sick the first night and angry at losing the second, but it was still fun to walk around. His father and his now wife were there too and they’re really nice.
​
I wasn’t planning on him taking me this year, tbh. But, apparently, his father’s wife wanted me to go so BF bought me a plane ticket. I have never begged or pressured him to take me, but I’m always down to go. A few nights ago, BF mentioned that he’s apparently planning to split his time between me and his one (possibly two) friend(s) that are planning to go this year.
​
This was news to me and I asked what I was meant to do while he was at a pool party or bar with his friend(s). He told me to just walk around or spend some time with his fam. I 100% do not feel comfortable walking around a city like Vegas by myself and don’t want to impose myself on his family. I also don’t think it’s fair for me to just sit in the hotel room while he’s off doing whatever.
​
He’s now upset at me for asking why I can’t join him and his friend and acting like I’m an idiot for not understanding why they wouldn’t wanted me hanging with them. I understand it being a boys’ trip, but then why bring me at all? Am I being the asshole here?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
eNsfqBGteF46DSzuocIgM3rQQwzfy4LF
|
a3go6w
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take fish antibiotics",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take fish antibiotics?
|
My family keeps insisting to take these fish antibiotic pills, which are meant for actual fish. I just feel uncomfortable because it says directly on the bottle: **Not For Human Consumption.**
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
35L2ZZdJsHZCfJ8b4BEuvVSIvii4lT58
|
af9mko
| null |
AITA for “Yo Wassup” in a Boston accent to some random girl on the street?
|
Context is key here. It was Halloween of 2018 and my high school let you dress in your costume that day. I dressed up as The Scout, an extremely loud, obnoxious, and bombastic character who talks in a thick Boston accent.
There I was, riding my bike to school and I pass this random girl who looked to be walking to a nearby school. As my character would do, I yelled “Yo Wassup” in the loudest, thickest Boston accent I could muster. In the fleeting moment I could see her face the looked really creeped out. Was that catcalling? I just need some sorta verdict
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
IdwgwsdIl2FWatMrbDEsQ2TMhynxX3JL
|
9vrt90
|
{
"description": "telling my gf I'm stressed when she is too",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my gf I’m stressed when she is too?
|
So my gf is sick as of now and wants a lot of comfort and attention since we can only text. So with school I’ve had a p long day stressful and all. So FFW to now and we got in a dispute where she told me all the stuff that’s wrong with her venting and if overwhelmed me and I said “I don’t know what to do okay? It’s stressful for me too” something along those lines after trying to comfort her. She got really mad and I don’t know why. I tried to tell her I’m stressed to after comforting her, and with school and she compares me to a past abuser, saying I only want her to be healthy so she won’t be all Ech. Saying I can be needy for attention all day (which I am guilty of) and when she’s needy I don’t comfort her. (Which I did my best to do before getting overwhelmed and stressed) saying I was dropping her to play vidyas. I feel like shit now too and just wanted to help her and say i was stressed when I got overwhelmed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mEYdIPAfP0Z8rgU6YY94U2MXLFnMVb8B
|
afpldk
|
{
"description": "contacting guy's friends after he ignored me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for contacting guy’s friends after he ignored me
|
AITA for contacting a guy’s friends after he ghosted me
Ok so this is what happened. I’ve been casually seeing this guy from a dating app. Everything was going well, we hung out a few times and texted/called almost every day.
He called me on Friday to hang out and I wasn’t able to because I was cleaning my place and doing stuff for school. He persisted, going as far as inviting me over to his dad’s place and that he really wanted to see me. I sort of felt like it was too early in our courtship to meet family members, so I decline and he understood. But I told him I wanted to see him and so we made plans for breakfast on Saturday.
Saturday comes around, I text him, he replies and says where we should meet and I said agree and ask what time. No response. I text again. Nothing. I wait about 30 minutes and call. No answer. This is unlike him seeing as how he’s called and texted me more during our time talking to each other. I assume he got caught up in something and go about my day, figuring he’ll get back to me eventually. He doesn’t.
I thought that ghosting someone in the middle of making plans just seems unlikely, especially considering he contacted ME to hang out and even invited me to meet his dad. By now I’m worried because we had plans, he was responding and had told me the night before how excited he was to see me. So I just didn’t think he would be ghosting me, and if he didn’t want to hang out, I figured he would at least tell me. I call/text a few more times saying that I’m worried and that it’s hes not interested in seeing me, it’s fine just let me know so I can stop worrying about him. Still nothing. So I reached out to his friends on Instagram, asking if they heard from him bc he’s not answering his phone. Then I get a response from him, over 24 hours later, that he ‘needed space and contacting my friends was creepy’. Okkkkkkk.... and then his friend responded that he’s ‘fine and I need to take the L And move on.’
I sort of feel like, wtf? Am I the asshole for reaching out to his friends? Did I overreact?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
tqSdrRuHGIBi4FoyJdeivWzFMMlAwK7e
|
agzbm1
|
{
"description": "sparking a fight between coworkers",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sparking a fight between coworkers?
|
TL;DR; copied from below: I have been the lead on a project for 3 of the last 4 iterations and do a vast majority of the work. My coworker who came up with the project idea was the lead on the 1st iteration. He felt that he deserved half of the allotted bonus while I deserved the other half. People who actually did work were left out while I was not given a fair share. I told my coworker what was up and shit hit the fan. AITA?
I worked really hard on a project at work. No exaggeration, I did over 70% of the work to make this happen flawlessly.
The Monday after completing the project, my coworker comes to me and asks if I’d heard anything about bonuses. I say no, but it’s still early and I just sent the budget to our bosses. He says “well I was asked who deserves a bonus and I said you and me. Don’t tell (a specific coworker).” “...ok” “I just really need the money” and he goes off on a tangent about how expensive it is owning a house and having a kid.
The problem is, this mouthy coworker did almost nothing. Yes, the project was his idea, and in years past, he has done some work. But this year, he did not. He dropped the ball on most of his tasks. As a matter of fact, the coworker he told me not to mention bonuses to picked up the slack and completed his work.
So the next day, angered by the injustice, I make a plan to speak to one of our 2 bosses about the bonuses. Unfortunately, I couldn’t catch him that day (it was one of those almost comically anti-serendipitous days where everything that could go wrong, did). Later that evening, I’m out for a drink with the hard working coworker. She asks if I know when we will get our bonuses. I really tried to avoid an answer, but she knows me well enough to question me further. I don’t want to be a liar over this. After I told her, “well I’m working on it.” And “I didn’t get to connect with our boss today”, I finally say “our other coworker claims just he and I should get bonuses this time, but I know that’s not fair so I’m going to ask that the bosses throw you some”
Understandably, she was livid. It really did feel like a mistake when I told her, but it also didn’t feel like my secret to keep just because a coworker (not even ranking above me) told me to.
The following day I spoke to both of our bosses in succession. They each said that what happened wasn’t right and they would rectify it. The second boss even thanked me for looking out for my coworker.
A week later, my left-out-of-bonus coworker and my selfish coworker go out for drinks and get wasted. A fight ensues. From what I’ve been told by others, it was a shouting match with her screaming she can’t believe he would stab her in the back and he can’t believe she would think he’s capable of stabbing her in the back... On and on. The selfish coworker is dropping the f bomb in public. They leave the bar and he keeps sending her texts, saying it’s f-ed up that she would accuse him of that. She’s f-ing stupid. Etc.
I know there were a lot of screw ups here. Obviously, that one selfish coworker is an ass. But AITA, too?
TL;DR: I have been the lead on a project for 3 of the last 4 iterations and do a vast majority of the work. My coworker who came up with the project idea was the lead on the 1st iteration. He felt that he deserved half of the allotted bonus while I deserved the other half. People who actually did work were left out while I was not given a fair share. I told my coworker what was up and shit hit the fan. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8PDaUr6z08mDzsACTXO9CfQyFeRF09Hb
|
ayj5t1
|
{
"description": "disabling the recline on the plane seat ahead of me",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 61
}
|
AITA for disabling the recline on the plane seat ahead of me?
|
For background, I was in the second row of coach for a very long flight. The row in front of me was the bulkhead, so they had a TON of legroom and no one in front of them where they would need to recline to recover their own space from a recliner in front of them.
Traditionally, I jam a water bottle in the gap between my tray table and the seat so that the recline mechanism doesn't work to prevent the person in front of me from spending the flight in my lap. It's perfect because it gives them about half an inch of recline and then stops, so generally they just assume that's all the chair does and stop trying after a few pushes.
I like to use my lap tray, and frankly I think reclining on a flight is incredibly rude and would never consider reclining myself, especially if it's in coach and not a red-eye. AITA for secretly forcing good manners upon my seatmates?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 61,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 61
}
|
WRONG
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.