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m0AnVYKbHCp9LRzKspmuRdSy4G9ojdhc
|
b208vh
|
{
"description": "selling something that wasn't mine",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for selling something that wasn't mine?
|
My ex lost a gold bracelet or some kind of jewellery when we were dating. Let me say it was years ago I'm talking 2014-15. She asked about it a lot then and we looked for it together but we gave up and thought it was missing for good. Lo and behold I find it in 2019 buried under garbage in a compartment in my car. I was low on money so I went to one of the gold for cash places and sold it.
Admittedly a bad thing to do cause I remembered it was hers. We broke up in 2016 but we have mutual friends and although we don't talk I see her sometimes. So yeah I could've given it back. I kinda felt like an asshole but I came to peace with it because it's been years she probably forgot about it and she had tons of gold jewellery cause her family gifts her that kinda thing all the time.
One of our mutual friends is my best friend. We were talking about money and I accidentally brought up the cash for gold thing and eventually had to tell him the truth about it because I couldn't think of a cover. Dumb of me to let it slip but nbd cause he's my best bud and she's a friend from high school. Well he made me feel like a huge steaming pile of shit for not giving it back. I crashed with him for a while and he even insinuated that he can't help but think I might be behind things he's lost. The bracelet was completely different then stealing from your best friend who helping you out by letting you crash with them right? Cause I'd never do that.
Not saying I think what I did was right but I thought it was excusable. And now since then things with my bud aren't the same. We're still friend but it's tense and he's cold toward me and the more I think about it the more I'm on the fence. Was I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
auaq35
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do the dishes because I'm never home",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I don't want to do the dishes because I'm never home?
|
I live with two roommates. I go to school full time and have classes everyday starting from 8 am that go all the way into the afternoon, and on top of that I also have night classes. On the days I have night classes, I tend to stay there even after my day classes are finished because I carpool with my best friend, AND its a 30 min drive from my school to my home and I don't like going back and forth because my car's a bit of a gas guzzler. When I'm not at school, I'm at work which my shifts basically start from almost right when I get out of school all the way to late at night, Roommate 1 is unemployed and always at the house, and Roommate 2 does work and have school, but he tends to still have more free time at the house than I do.
​
Now, I understand that I should be pitching in more to do chores like taking trash out and cleaning the bathroom because I DO use those things the few times I am home. But I rarely eat at home let alone even use any dishes because I don't eat at home. I usually eat at either school or work, and the few rare times I do eat at home I eat these frozen power bowls that come with their OWN bowls and use my portable utensils when I eat them (because if I don't consistently use them I'll forget about them, it sounds dumb I know but it's just how it is for me.) I also have depression which tends to make me a little complacent, I won't lie, but usually I'm on top of chores.
​
I just recently just took a trip that lasted for about half a week and came back a few days ago. I was at the store with one of my roommates, when suddenly he piped up and said, "Roommate 2 says you need to start doing chores more." I told him sure, but what about the dishes since I'm never home and use them? From there it turned into a huge argument and us going back and forth with him saying "well, you live here and it doesn't matter if you don't use them you need to do them anyways" and me arguing back "if I never use them I'm basically just cleaning up after you two and that isn't fair".
​
And the thing is, is that this isn't even the first time we haven't seen eye to eye in the house, and I don't like saying anything about it because Roommate 2 gets fussy back and then him and I will end up fighting. The last instance was when THEIR dog had been chewing my stuff up for MONTHS since I had first moved in and all Roommate 2 would say is, "Don't leave your stuff on the floor". After months of doing that, the dog would still find ways to chew my shit up and would chew up quite expensive things of mine too, including my glasses and shoes. When I brought this to attention, we got into a fight because all he said "just don't let her in your room", which was hard because every morning he would open the room door to let her in. He wouldn't even compensate me.
​
I really want to know if I'm in the wrong for the whole dishes thing, or maybe even both instances, because I'm tired of feeling singled out.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
LG9Rh6o995a758y4aYbFpBerFtt8Gmbt
|
a68zl7
|
{
"description": "being 'unsupportive'",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being 'unsupportive'
|
Background, hubby is currently in a PhD program that he wants to quit and he wants to start a JD . I'm very supportive of his decision to do this. Last year, he applied to a handful of PhD programs and only got into one and unfortunately, it's not going well. (It's a new program and kind of running itself into the ground but that's another story)
I just finished my nursing degree and I do not start my new job until February. So we're pretty broke and stretched really thin to make it until then. He's not currently working because of PhD program.
He has taken the LSAT and did decently. He's gotten lots of emails from lots of school and quite a few have given him fee waivers, and one school has already offered him a full tuition scholarship and he hasn't even applied yet.
Today, he got an email from Harvard asking him to apply. He's already looked up admission requirements and he's at about the 25th percentile of their admissions. But he's convinced that they must have sent him an email because they pulled his LSAT and academic records. When he was asking my opinion about it, I told him I felt it was a waste of money. Well, he moped for a couple hours and hardly spoke to me and once he was speaking to me, he told me I hurt his feelings and he felt I was not being supportive and that I was being a dick about it. I apologized because I really didn't mean to hurt his feelings and it's not that I don't think he can it's that I don't think it's practical and it makes more sense to apply to the places that won't wreck us financially. But I also told him that he can apply if he feels that strongly about it. However, I'm still being treated like the asshole. AITA for giving my opinion instead of being unwaveringly supportive?
TL/DR: Hubby wants to apply to Harvard law school and I told him I thought it was a bad idea. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
LGjS9dARsCDsoj9VhStaiqdi247Aor7g
|
an5zyk
|
{
"description": "forcing my gf to break up with me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for forcing my gf to break up with me?
|
We'd been dating for 2 months, and I really enjoyed spending time with her, talking with her on the phone every night and just doing things with her. But then I went on a week-long vacation and met someone else that I really liked, now this new girl, I didn't want to go out with her, and I didn't feel sexually attracted to her at all, she quickly became like a best friend to me, and we spent a lot of time together. I really enjoyed how the new girl was always coming up with interesting and wild things to talk about, always surprising me with weird things to say. But the new girl lived hours away so I didn't see her after the trip, but we kept in touch via email.
But then I come home to my girlfriend...and I didn't feel attracted to her anymore. Yes she was nice, no she didn't cause any problems, but talking to her felt so boring compared to when I'd talked to the new girl. But I felt bad - because my gf didn't do anything wrong. So I didn't want to break up with her, because it wasn't her fault, it was me, not her. So over the course of 2 weeks, after I got home I spent 2 weeks growing more distant, talking more and more about the trip I'd taken and how much fun I'd had, and how I wished she'd be more interesting too. She was trying to be more interesting and even bought me a book on relationships, but I already knew it was over. I called her less and less until I stopped calling her altogether, until one morning she took me aside and said "It's over" and I said "Okay." I also bought her a really nice birthday present which I'd promised I'd get her something nice before we broke up and I followed through (even though I didn't go to her birthday since it was after we broke up).
Am I the asshole? I was trying to let her down gently, and let maintain the "power" and the agency in the relationship because I didn't want to break her heart. I thought I was doing the right thing, but after I told a friend about it he was really concerned.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
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WRONG
|
aHayl7YAbVzzVBcGQau3Lq848t8B1m1G
|
b748j4
|
{
"description": "claiming that my GF is overreacting to cultural appropriation",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for claiming that my GF is overreacting to cultural appropriation
|
First of all, apologies for any typos. I am typing this whilst I am still quite angry and confused, and see this sub as a good place to realise whether I am in the wrong, which I am very willing to accept.
​
In Eurovision 2018 the winning Israeli singer wore a Kimono-style dress. This angered my half-Japanese girlfriend at the time and she continues to use it as an example of a micro-aggresion against non-white people in our country (the UK) and a form of cultural appropriation. At the time I said this was an overreaction and right now when she brought it up again over dinner I voiced my concerns that she tends to get too worked up over issues that she views as cultural appropriation. In my oppinion cultures borrow from eachother all the time, which is usually a great thing.
​
This leads to her saying I cannot understand because I am white and privilaged and people can't appropriate my English or Irish culture (I spent my formative years in Ireland) becuase it is not the same for white people. I object to this pretty strongly and say that I think it's ridiculous that I am not allowed to have an oppinon just becuase of my background. She is from a very wealthly Japanese family and I am from a comparatively regular British/Irish family. When I even mention the fact that she might have been more privaleged than me (having gone to a very nice private school etc.) she shuts me down under the same argument I see used that people can't be racist against whites/ reverse racism doesn't exist.
​
I ended up backing down but she is furious at me for even voicing those oppinions and I can see it being an issue if it ever comes up again. Am I the arsehole for these views? I genuinly don't know if I am ignorant bigot or if she has unfair standards anymore.
​
Apologies if this isn't as interesting or dramatic as the usual posts on this sub, but a judgment would be much appreciated, whichever judgement it is.
​
​
​
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 18,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ITpYGPvwZEHeZu3C471FBnQlleUHby8d
|
az8akl
|
{
"description": "trying to sell my car",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to sell my car?
|
About a year ago my uncle gave my mum a car. She couldn’t afford it and asked me if I wanted it. I said yes and she said it would cost me £100. I thought she was being greedy asking for £100 for a car she got free but it was still worth it. Fast forward a year and the car is starting to have problems, I had to spend £180 to get a new part. So I told my mum and sister that I might not be able to afford to keep my car. My sister offered to buy it for £150, she was going to offer more but my mum told her she couldn’t spend more than that on the car. I thought she thought that the car wasn’t worth any more so I decided to get it valued by a company, they said they might be able to buy it for £400-£900. It would depend on an inspection and test drive. So I booked it in.
I told my sister about the valuation and then I got a text from my mum telling me I couldn’t sell the car, it wasn’t mine to sell. She told me that it was only a loaner and I had to give it back if I didn’t want it. I asked her why she sold it to me then and she said she hadn’t the £100 was for transporting the car from my uncles 60 miles away.
If I sold the car now my mum would never talk to me again.
I’m not sure what to do next, AITA.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Urx0rn36uffKW4LKTMTkQJvGEKRLOcX1
|
aklsx0
| null |
AITA? Love square
|
First time poster so bare with me. So my husband and I split up on Christmas and are currently still living together. no papers filled yet. . 2 weeks later he started dating A friend of my best friend. I'm mad but whatever I don't say anything. He comes home covered in hickeys in front of our children And I feel deeply disrespected. So while coping with all of this texting my best friend she starts to talk about how my husband stole her best friend (the other girl) and how hurt she was about being replaced in her life....
At this point I'm hurt by the whole situation
AITA for saying I didn't care and didn't want to hear about it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
SsviapDSiQzOh5NhAjR3fxkfEzy8Ag7T
|
9wbz3w
|
{
"description": "confronting my friend about the state of our friendship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I confront my friend about the state of our friendship?
|
Let me start by saying it's hard to explain the this situation, but I'll try to be clear and concise.
​
I have a really, really good friend, the closest person to me for the past 9 years.
She and I dated for a short while, broke up and stayed very close friends.
She has been with me during the toughest part of my depression and has stayed the nearly only constant in my life ever since.
Then have been times when we were both going through rough times, but sometimes during those times she told me she really needs to "be there for her". I was having a hard time just keeping my head above water, but I did what she asked because of how much she means for me.
​
The problem is, she is studying in a very demanding university and is struggling.
She has been in a bad place for about 2 years now, through which I tried my hardest being the most supportive I can be.
​
But I am exhausted of only being vented to, always complained at, and always be understanding.
She never calls or texts me, almost never answers and we almost never talk aside from her coming over to vent and crash at my place.
She never has any emotional strength to listen to my issues, and I feel like it depends on her (A big deal for me).
She does try to that for other friends in her life, since she is afraid of losing them, but not afraid of losing me since we are so close.
​
What I want is for her to try to be there for me too. My depression sometimes really drains me but she never asks or visibly ignores (She told me she notices but can't help now)
Every time I tried to bring this up, she started crying saying she can't handle this now.
​
Again, well aware she is not doing this on purpose. She is having a shitty, shitty time in life right now. But after 2 years of this, I'm exhausted. Instead of being sympathetic for her, I feel used.
​
I love her. I don't want to hurt her. But it's just unfair for me, I'm feeling angry and unable to talk to her.
I just reached a point where I need to do something. I can't keep this going before something snaps in a bad way.
​
WIBTA If I tell her she can't lean on me like this anymore unless she makes an effort to be there for me too?
||||
|:-|:-|:-|
||||
​
​
​
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
PYwGTCww3nPXsCfoQeVxR3Ey11G4h2Lp
|
apxtuo
| null |
AITA: Shady Dog Walker
|
So when I have to work a double shift I will get a dog walker from a dog walking company in my city to take out the doggo. It doesn't happen often but once or twice a month. The other day I put in a request for a dog walker and they didn't respond. So I called to ask if they were coming as sometimes they are just late to respond and I was leaving for work and needed to make other arrangements then. They informed me they lost the keys to my building and apartment. When I asked what they meant they told me that a former employee has my keys and they haven't been able to contact them to get the keys back. This apparently happened at least a month ago and they are saying it is not their responsibility to recover the keys or to inform clients when this happens. I demanded they pay for a replacement lock to my door as a stranger now has my keys and they said it is not their responsibility. My response was to threaten to blow up all their social media with this and threaten legal action for any robberies in my building. Again I live in a city and our lobby is constantly FILLED with packages
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
D30Lona912RcORbbAFkjX5vF9woiN1eS
|
9yphz0
|
{
"description": "getting back at a phone scammer",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting back at a phone scammer?
|
This morning, i got a phone call from the "IRS". An automated one saying i needed to call them back.
I already knew it was a scam, but i called back anyway. When i did, It was a man, with a thick Indian accent and he asked my name. Which i gave him, not my real one. I told him it was John Cena. Saying that i owed in unpaid taxes, he never gave me an exact amount, just an outstanding sum.
But, i know the IRS never calls you anyway (without sending something in the mail first), so i knew he was scamming me. But i played along anyway, just for the heck of it. He asked me to buy Itunes gift cards. I actually asked about them not sending something in the mail, they went quiet after that.
I also asked the exact amount i owed, he said this was just a collection agency hired by the IRS and that they didn't know the details. Even though they introduced themselves as the IRS itself, nnot some affiliate.
But then, "If you wan't us to find that out, we need your Social Security Number or an active Credit Card."
It went back and forth like that, i just kept asking "Why do you need my credit card to give me a number?", he never gave me an answer. Just kept repeating "We need your credit card to check your case file.",
It got heated after a bit. "You don't need my credit card to give me a F***ing number." "We do. We can't check your case file without an active credit card."
So, he started listing off a bunch of charges and threats that "The Police will be their soon unless you give me a credit card."
"I can't understand a word you're saying, where are you from?" He told me Texas, i called him out on this, that the IRS is centered in DC, not Texas but he changed the story again. That they were just a collection agency sent by the IRS.
He kept going on, i kept just mocking his voice, i said things like "Can you get someone who can at least speak English?", plus i also impersonated him, i spoke in a faux Indian accent "Oh, I work at the Kwik-E-Mart!"
After a bit, I threatened to hang up, and he brought up my "outstanding debt" that needs to be paid urgently. I just told him "How the hell can i pay something, til i know how much the M*ther F*cker costs?", he, once again, asked for my credit card.
I figured i had my fun, so i told him my cell phone was going dead and to call my home phone. When he asked for the number though, i didn't give him my actual phone number. I actually gave him the number for my local police station.
Anyway, about an hour or so later, i called back. They answered as the IRS, i replied "Hey, Madarchod (Mother F***er in Hindi), i'm calling about the scam."
So, he got mad at me "If you think it's a scam, then why are you calling? You should not waste your time, right?"
Then he told me it's not a scam and that the police will be dispatched if i hang up. But i did anyway.
Now, i feel kind of guilty about doing this. I mean, this guy runs a scam to get people out of money but i feel bad because i mocked his accent and everything. Am i the Asshole for doing this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
FP66zjTIHuL7kTMu8oToaZybzeRMQdSk
|
aelsis
|
{
"description": "being mad that I got a shitty phone for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being mad that I got a shitty phone for Christmas?
|
Alt for privacy.
For a bit more context: I currently use a Samsung Galaxy J7, given to me by my biological dad around 2016. I am 15.
For Christmas, my mother and stepfather gave me a Samsung Galaxy S5, which, unlike my current J7, can actually make calls and texts, since my biological dad does not pay for the data plan on it anymore, since I moved away.
-
Here's what the phone does better than my current phone:
-It has a fingerprint scanner, unlike my J7.
-It has 1080p, unlike the 720p with my J7.
-Might either have better or worse storage space, I haven't checked.
-Has a screensaver while charging.
-Smaller.
-Can make phone calls.
Here's what it does worse:
-Keyboard is burnt into the screen among a few other undiscernable things.
-Screen is zoomed WAY in compared to current phone, making 1080p mostly moot.
-Has a screensaver while charging, which can lead to screen burn-in.
-Fingerprint scanner sucks ass.
-Might have better or worse storage space, I haven't checked.
-Supposed to be waterproof, but the charging cover is broken.
-Does not have a case.
-Smaller.
-Keyboard has more space between keys, making keys smaller.
-UI is very fucky to navigate.
-Flashlight cannot be accessed from the drop-down menu, which I use somewhat often.
-
I was asked if I wanted a phone and felt somewhat pressured to say yes, though I stressed that my current phone was already very good and I didn't really need anything that was powerful, just something that could make phone calls, **since I already had a very good phone.**
They've been telling me that now I need to give my phone BACK to my dad, since he was the one who got it for me. I'm being given a phone that is WORSE than my current one, and being told to give my good one away, and I'm feeling very scammed right now. Does this make me the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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WRONG
|
JK0Q8RB5xc0nmQQO4IubADlvs24G4SRP
|
as65f8
|
{
"description": "letting my classmates fail an assignment because of me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if I let my classmates fail an assignment because of me?
|
There is a project in our government class that we needed to do over the course of the week. We basically needed to make a video "Declaring our Independence" from the school. My role in this project is the editor. Before the weekend started, on Friday, the filmer was supposed to send me all the clips he recorded so I could put together the video. This was fine by me because I like editing. However, the filmer, lets call him X. X didn't send me the clips on Friday. Instead, he sent them to me 30 mins ago (11:30 PM), the day before it was due. Im kinda stuck right now. Should I stay up all night trying to edit this shit and ruin my sleep schedule or should I just blame X for waiting until the last minute to send me the videos?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
OhPk04OybtvLt4FFo37PBepp2haKILwj
|
a51p83
|
{
"description": "ordering a kebab whilst stoned",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For ordering a kebab whilst stoned?
|
So I'll try to make this quick:
About 30 minutes ago I was walking back alone after having a joint with a mate when I decided (as is tradition) to stop by and grab a kebab. So I go in and order the kebab at my favourite local balti, wait for a couple minutes to get the food then start to head out. I say thanks to the team, even drop "have a good night" as it's 12ish and are soon closing. Then right as I'm leaving, the delivery guy for then who is counting the change for the night drops "You're henging nobhead" effectively saying I stink of weed.
I was fully aware that I likely had an air of the Savage cabbage to me, but I wasn't expecting to be berrated for it. I thought there was some kind of unspoken symbiotic relationship between people who are high and fast food restaurants opened past 10ish. The worst part is I rarely smoke weed and I feel kinda embarrassed and shitty about the whole thing. Is it obnoxious to go in to a place that serves food when stoned if you might smell? Should I go in and apologize later or would you do the same? The place deals with drunk people all the time and I tried to be as respectful as possible, barring the fact I was (and still to an extent as I write this) a little baked.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
TMNmVh37Kt91maMCxuVvWkHO2CPTVHm1
|
ab3eti
|
{
"description": "not helping a man that is getting robbed",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not helping a man that is getting robbed?
|
Actually this is a IATA situation, since this actually happened.
Two years ago, I was 15 back then, and an Asian student spending summer over at the UK. I was at Cambridge back then, and it's my second week of staying (I stayed for 3 weeks). Being at the UK for the first time, I was still kind of in awe about how the houses look like they're still in the 19th century while back at Hong Kong, which is where I live, tall buildings are the norm. So naturally, I wandered around the streets alone, going around to take pictures of the Townscape since I was interested in the architecture. I was randomly googling for places to go around Cambridge when I hit up University of Cambridge's Downing Site on my search result. I decided to go there on a whim, then uttery dissapointed myself with a nice little dead end at the gate. Of course it's closed to the public, isn't it?
Then, it happened. I saw an African-American guy running like hell's after him, holding a plastic bag in his hands. Behind him is another person yelling, "Oi! Hey, stop!" whatever it is to the former. But instead of trying to help the man who's got something stolen from him, or calling the cops, I ignored it all, and had my headphones play my songlist on the loudest volume, keeping a stone cold face while watching it all happen in a metter of seconds.
The African-American took a left, escaped into a bar (I think, It has a name but I forgot, maybe it's The Castle (just googled it again)), then was out of my sight. The guy pursuing him also stopped to catch a breath or call the police as well.
I could've at least tripped the thief (he was too busy looking behind him) while I'm at it... I'm such a fucking idiot, am I not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
zoSAk81hZ9x63IyPSON26bEScjn4vuC8
|
afyxy7
|
{
"description": "asking the person who shares my desk at work to keep it organized the way I have it",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA if I ask the person who shares my desk at work to keep it organized the way I have it?
|
At my work we share desks between day shift and night shift. I have worked at this place for 5 years and in that time I’ve been able to set up my desk in a way that is organized and orderly. I have never had to share the desk with anyone until a few months ago and this person feels the need to change the desk around because in their words “it doesn’t matter where things go” so I came to this person and asked them to put it back the way I have it, I did start this conversation out with the phrase “I’m not trying to be an asshole” but the person took offense to this and quit telling everyone I was a asshole so am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
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}
|
WRONG
|
M8pMFr7otCZ5HLsUGxvQKQVRVVS62Vo7
|
axetvh
|
{
"description": "pissing off a friend on Tik Tok",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I pissed off a friend on Tik Tok
|
Yeah, I know I'm cringy for being on Tik Tok, I use it for cosplaying orginal characters (ocs). People make hashtags (tags) to group their and other peoples' ocs. I made a tag called #monsterunioc where mythical creatures go to uni. About a month later (last friday (I.E march 1st)) a good friend of mine, Jane, made a very simmilar tag. I reacted to the video and in the little text bar said "When your friend makes a tag that's basically yours" as a joke. A few people didn't realize it was a joke and I made another video explaining that it was a joke. Another friend, Amy, told me that Jane was really upset about it, so I took down the original video and apologized to Jane and promised not think through what I post in the future. Jane did not forgive me and I felt really bad, I didn't mean to hurt their feelings, yes the joke wasn't that funny but it wasn't meant to hurt anyone. Now Jane, Amy and another friend, Ben, are all pissed off at me and won't talk to me. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
rpQ7SlkOOLFfug1yiragk2bEUdRzPnry
|
ad2290
|
{
"description": "wanting to end a friendship because I liked them and they don't like me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to end a friendship because I liked them and they don’t like me?
|
There is this girl that I like and she told me she liked me but just want to stay friends. This was fine but kinda upset me. About a week later I really wanted to start a relationship and I just felt she was being nice saying she liked me because she’s super nice to everyone. I texted her saying I think it would be best if we took a little bit of a break texting and talking because I like her a lot and it’s not going anywhere. It’s really toying with my emotions because it’s hard to talk with her and not be more. Her friend texted me saying I was selfish for only thinking about me.
Sorry for format on mobile.
TL;DR I want to stop talking to a girl because she doesn’t like me when I like her because it’s really bumming me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
diTNs3LSqAoE2WrFNSXRCgHQHWtmuKVW
|
9zwjyn
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk on the phone with my girlfriend & ignoring calls because I'm in a call with friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk on the phone with my girlfriend & ignoring calls because I'm in a call with friends?
|
Both friends are guys, one of them I met online. The other she knows. I can't talk to either often because of school work. I see her daily on school days. We had previously been on the phone before she had to put it up (said she'd call back on her home phone to talk for a few minutes). Calls back, talk for half an hour. I try to wrap things up but she won't let go. I end up saying goodnight and she just says "bye <my name>" and hangs up. I've ignored her calls since then. So am I the asshole for it?
I should also note that I never was not in a call with my friends.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
UmjeD39OcZR5uxVfE3OubKyMrH5V7EHc
|
a5uvy4
|
{
"description": "moving furniture in our basement and ending up semi-covering two lower shelves of my husband's book collection",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving furniture in our basement and ending up semi-covering two lower shelves of my husband’s book collection?
|
Our basement has many purposes, it the catch all for a lot of stuff we don’t use everyday (as a basement should be). It’s where dh’s 3 guitars and amps live, his star wars Lego collection and 3 tall shelves of books (already read), there’s a small tv for my teenage son and a couch/futon for guests. However it’s also my office. I’m a bookkeeper, and a new client needed to drop off 10 bankers boxes of paperwork. In frustration with the lack of space and stupid junk, I move the furniture around (and made a donation pile of other stuff). The futon ends up covering access to the lower book shelves. I made sure to make ample space for dh’s guitars and amps since he plays them at least a few days per week.
He came home and was annoyed that I covered the books (even though I feel like one could easily push the futon a few inches to grab a book) and said “why don’t you put the futon in front of your desk”. I don’t feel like shelves with already read books and a desk where I work everyday are comparable. I tried being respectful of his belongings so I focused on a space for the guitars... I’m hurt that he compared my desk (insinuated belittling my business/working from home) to his books, and is “mad” at me for not caring about his stuff.... AITA???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5y2vMjdFruO1e8yosoluq96sHMKPNhzq
|
atd7ow
|
{
"description": "asking questions on a free dog ad",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking questions on a free dog ad?
|
I found a young small dog for free on a local site. And so I sent a private message asking some basic info that was not included in the post such as; was the dog socialized, did it resource guard (food water toys), how was it with other animals, was it house trained, was the animal an 'escape artist', did it know any basic commands (had it been trained in any way), was it kid friendly, and finally expressed my interest in the dog (to adopt) and advice (were they interested) in how to keep it if she wanted (since the post indicated they did not wish to surrender her). The owner sent me a sentence that they had 'found a wonderful family'. I hope they did.
AITA for wanting the background I asked for? Was it too much, uncalled for?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RWFpVTKV5XHxpLEbMkSS0qa7ydURju4V
|
al7ftg
|
{
"description": "refusing to see my brother's baby",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 40
}
|
AITA for refusing to see my brother's baby?
|
My brother has been dating Amber for close to five years. During one point of their relationship, she cheated on him with his best friend Jessie. They split for a few months and she continued to sleep with Jessie. It was messy as fuck and tore our friend group apart. My family told him to dump her. She comes back crying a few months later and pleading it was a mistake. He ends up forgiving her and low and behold she's pregnant. Everyone in my family says he needs to get a DNA test but he refuses. He says he's not worried about it because it has to be his due to timing. I don't believe this.
Baby is born in November and I keep getting pressured to see it because I'm the aunt. My mom continously is texting me "when will the aunt see the baby?" I say I will visit when they get a DNA test proving it belongs to my brother. I confronted my brother abour this. He has the audacity to lie to me and say they did the DNA test "when the baby was born in the hospital". Yeah okay bullshit. I tell him this is bullshit and not some routine test done. He doesn't press further.
At this point my family is calling me heartless because I have refused to see his kid. My sister says he refuses the DNA test. Everyone in my family has tried to get him to agree but he says he's not worried about it because he loves the baby. My family says I need to love him because he's my brother. I disagree. I'm not being an aunt unless I know this kid belongs to my goddamn brother. I feel my brother is being willfully ignorant in this and therefore if I agree this, I am agreeing to him never finding out if the kid is truly his and blindly throwing his life away.
Am I crazy? Am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 35,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 40
}
|
WRONG
|
FDJRYCBZ9TkPIfEnDc19JkQS02EtnYLj
|
9x6zhc
|
{
"description": "comparing a shitty site to a shitty subreddit",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for comparing a shitty site to a shitty subreddit?
|
A few hours ago I put a thread I one of my old favorite subreddits asking if the site was dead or not. I proceeded to get flagged by its users for no reason and I, in the event of getting pissed off compared to another shitty web community I'm apart of that is not on Reddit. So afterwards I get my post taken down for "harassing other users" when I clearly didn't even state a user or website name, so here is the question AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
wpMyfcbVlDe73XHP6Rj0a5IVycLyHVBs
|
b3z5xt
| null |
AITA after I snooped on my Girlfriends search history.
|
A few days ago I was happily playing Sims for a few hours on my newly moved in Girlfriends computer. She’d fallen asleep and so eventually at 2 o’clock I went to switch it off and as I did the browser popped up, and randomly I just started pressing letter keys to see her history.
So when I pressed P, there was a link to Plenty of Fish that well known, not very classy, dating site. So obviously then, I opened up her search History and there was a list of everything in that she’d searched for the past few months.
One being her Plenty of Fish search for whatever reason.
Another being “is my girlfriend going to end our relationship”
Then a Facebook search for her ex boyfriend.
All three staring me in the face.
Now the search for her ex didn’t really phase me, it was more the fact that whilst we were together, she was for whatever reason looking on a dating site.
So after confronting her, she told me she was “bored and curious” and was “just looking”.
And to top it off she said she’s not mad at me for looking at her history!! - she’s.not.mad.at.me.
Whaaaaaaaat?
So, anyway... am I the arsehole for thinking she’s in the wrong for all of this? Surely she shouldn’t have been looking.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
rkuMeS0FuSqMzUh14T3hRHRClw56bKjz
|
amwt5m
|
{
"description": "having an abortion without telling my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 43,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for having an abortion without telling my boyfriend?
|
Sorry if this post is a mess... this is my first Reddit post and I’m new to all this.
So I met a guy online a few months ago, let’s call him B. Our relationship actually started off pretty rocky, he has a drinking and drug problem and was verbally and sexually abusive towards me.
I don’t know why I had such a hard time leaving him, I should have. I mainly stayed with him and took the abuse because he helped me a lot financially and I wasn’t in a great spot. He was also extremely attentive and kind after his “episodes” and he would stop the substance abusive for a few days, promise to quit forever... did all the perfect boyfriend things, brought me flowers, took me on dates, promised me an amazing future. Of course that didn’t last though and he would go back to his usual ways.
So about 4 months into this relationship I am desperate to escape it. He won’t stop calling me names and he never takes no for an answer. I guess that’s important to say because otherwise we were safe. I wanted so badly to leave and after an especially abusive night I finally got the courage to tell him to leave and never speak to me again (he was unofficially living with me at this point.)
This caused him to go into a complete meltdown. He begged for my forgiveness but I wasn’t changing my mind. He was sober at this point so I wasn’t worried about him hurting me... he was never abusive while sober.
Anyway, he left for awhile and fast forward to that night I was laying in bed feeling like a complete failure... I had this nagging feeling in my gut something was wrong. I wasn’t actually due for my period for a few days but I just felt the urge to check. I had an extra pregnancy test from awhile ago. I had bought a 2 pack from a scare from a previous relationship and had an extra in my bathroom. So I peed on the stick and waited... probably within 30 seconds a VERY faint positive line showed up. I could barely see it but I knew it was there and I just knew it wasn’t wrong. I went into a complete panic.
Shortly after this B came home to get some of his stuff... he saw me in hysterics and asked me what was wrong. I was so upset I think I yelled something like “IM FUCKING PREGNANT WITH SOMEONE I HATES BABY. MY LIFE IS RUINED.”
He was quiet for a moment and then just said he was going to make things right.
We didn’t talk much that night, but the next morning he told me he was going to change and that he was excited to have a baby and couldn’t wait because he wanted to spend his life with me and now we could start. I didn’t say much to him. We didn’t talk about the break up anymore.
So the past month since he found out he has been an amazing boyfriend, hasn’t drank or done drugs, has been kind and attentive and has genuinely been trying to do everything to make me happy. Hasn’t called me one name, has respected my boundaries. Basically I think this really has changed him and he wants to be a better man.... he has told his mom and his family and he talks to them about how excited he is to be a dad all the time.
I called and scheduled an ultrasound for next week, which has to be done before an abortion. After the ultrasound they said it’s a pretty quick process. Within a week I can choose a medical or surgical abortion. I might JUST make it for the cut off for a medical abortion which is 9 weeks... surgical is 15. I’m in Canada BTW so abortion is easily accessible to me.
Basically the guilt is eating away at me. He has changed so much and wants this baby more than anything, but my gut is telling me I can’t risk him going back to his old ways...I can’t risk ruining my life. I feel like an awful person and want to know if I’m the asshole for considering having an abortion and just telling him I had a miscarriage.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 42,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
36uLYPcJt5cNpv4LoIDwPCXPjfM8ib08
|
b9h8xb
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend that I think she enables our mutual friend's creepy behaviour around her",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling my best friend that I think she enables our mutual friend's creepy behaviour around her?
|
I'm a 29 year old guy, and my friend, let's call her bestie, is a 30 year old girl.
We have a mutual friend who is borderline neckbeard/nice guy, has a crush on bestie, and is extremely creepy around her, to the point where he sits beside her, rubs her thigh, puts his head on her shoulder, invites her home for drinks at night etc. The thing is that she's happily engaged, which she has said many times.
Last saturday we had a housewarming party for me, and both attended. Creepy friend did like he always does, and bestie was extremely uncomfortable but was otherwise nice to him, laughed and talked. More and more as the night progressed she turned to me to get away from him, which worked.
Anyways, to the main point. Back on monday, or if it was tuesday, she posted a screenshot of him texting her about how nice it was to see her again and that she missed him. We both laughed about it, but this is where things apparently turned sour;
I wrote "I hope you don't think of me as shitty for saying but, but I kind of think you kind of enable his behaviour. That Creepy friend is EXTREMELY slow in getting hints, and that she needs to give him an absolute verbal asswhooping, so that he understands, and finally stops. As long as you don't make your point absolutely 110% clear that you don't like him romantically, he won't stop, because he's slow.".
I thought things were alright, as all she said was "I thought he'd understand with my ring on my finger and all", and I didn't hear anything more... until about half an hour ago.
She wrote that she wasn't mad, but that she was flabbergasted and disappointed that I had written that to her.
I immediately felt shame, and apologised and that I had no intention of it sounding like I blamed her, just that I wanted to fix the awkwardness between them, and giving my point of view as to how to fix it.
We quickly made up and things are good again, but it still got me thinking. AITA?
I am in no way blaming my actions on this, but it's still important to know. I have mild Aspergers, which makes it sometime that stuff I say or write sometimes doesn't get interpreted the way I intend it t, and this is what happened here.
What I thought was helpful advice, as I want bestie to be comfortable around creepy, I just said what I thought would help.
I have no problem being the asshole, as I felt ashamed, and I apologised profoundly, but at the same time I want to hear other people's perspective as to WHY I would be the asshole, WHY what I said was interpreted as a rude thing to say, and how I should think about it in the future so I don't repeat it.
Like I told bestie, I would neve rever intentionally hurt her, but that I'm struggling socially every day and I'm learning new social rules every day and that I'm willing to learn from my mistakes as I always aim to be the most kind-hearted person I can be.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
4HJTjmjPa4JYAiTwdfHULq6ffn2wAHOK
|
9twdfw
|
{
"description": "hiding my friends car to prevent him from driving under the influence",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hiding my friends car to prevent him from driving under the influence?
|
AITA Reddit,
Background story childhood friend 1 comes over to my house last night after work for a small get together with our other childhood friend 2 who is currently living with me and my wife. We were hanging out and slamming some shots down. Childhood friend 1 gets more intoxicated than I've ever seen him to the point where I believe he may of been under the influence of more than just alcohol at this point. He was continuously talking about suicidal ideation and kept saying he needed to go to his work early in the AM and needed to leave right away but couldn't decide where he needed to leave to. I called his boss to verify that he did not in fact work in the AM however worked in the PM perfect. Childhood friend 2 recently got in a roll over as a result of similar circumstances and is the last person to tell someone not to drive under the influence and even he was a little weary at this point. All three of us were telling him we were uncomfortable with him driving ANY distance regardless of whether he's driven this intoxicated before or not childhood friend 2 already had his wake up call and refuses to drive intoxicated any more. Thank goodness. Childhood friend 1 was slurry speech, speaking erradicatelly, breaking cigarettes repeatedly trying to smoke one, could not stand up straight and kept saying he needed to leave but couldn't explain where or why and being very defensive. I pickpocketed his keys and said I was going to the bathroom. I then moved his car a few blocks of way out of LOS after repeatedly offering him a ride home from my wife who had no alcohol consumption this night. He continously refused and eventually walked home. Which I much preferred a brisk walk over never seeing him again *shrug* fast forward to today he's extremely aggressive and angry about the situation last night and refuses to communicate with any of us.
TLDR: friend got too intoxicated at my house. I moved his car so he didn't jeaporodize his safety or the safety of others. AM I THE ASSHOLE?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 10,
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"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
yR841eBm4L8TD82oSasQlViW729A3ZKg
|
9wjnvc
|
{
"description": "asking my friend to stop playing her music out loud",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my friend to stop playing her music out loud?
|
In my civics class a girl started playing her modern rap music (which she knows that I can’t stand) without earbuds or headphones or anything in front of the class so I asked her to stop, to which she replied that she didn’t want to. I tried to suck it up but it got on my nerves again when I couldn’t focus so I asked her to stop again and then everyone (including the teacher) told me I was overreacting. I feel bad about it and after discovering this sub I’d like to know, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
buG2K8DYoN1FdfbTJN5qzVwxyAjQcHTZ
|
auikat
|
{
"description": "not pressing \"open door\" on the elevator with my hands full",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not pressing "open door" on the elevator with my hands full?
|
I was holding an Amazon box with cat food inside (kinda heavy) with my arms, my keys on my left hand, and my cell on my right. I had to curtsie and fumbled a bit to call for the elevator with my keys hand.
Got in and stood at the far corner from the buttons. The door nearly closed when arm shoved in the gap. My kind of free hand was the furthest away from the buttons, plus I figured the door was gonna open anyways, which it did, but it was there for 2-3 seconds. Woman came in (kinda hard to see that I didn't have my hands full), I gave her a nice "my bad" which she promptly replied "yeah, you're an asshole".
AITA for not trying?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
jQ7yhbdR32zyC8jm8XRMCa9ZQxCNPkKA
|
b79qr7
|
{
"description": "telling an anxious friend to be respectful",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling an anxious friend to be respectful?
|
Hello Reddit, we meet again through a throwaway. Not sure how to organise this, so please tell if you find something unnecessary/confusing and I'll edit it. I'll try my best to answer questions and be unbiased.
I'm 15F. And my friend, let's call her Laura, is 17F. Laura's always been really critical and sometimes very harsh with her words, sometimes towards me. I've dismissed it as just her personality, but there was one conversation that bothered me.
In a group chat, the topic was "people who don't talk unless they have something valuable to say", and I started to say a lot from my perspective. I basically said that it's okay to say anything as long as you're doing no harm.
Laura and another friend, let's call him Noah, started to make fun of me. I usually don't mind when people insult me as a joke. Laura, however, sounded pretty serious and I felt like she was just bashing me for no reason. She said things like "she thinks she has something valuable to say", and after I was done, she said "you just gave us a lecture about something we never said was wrong, and I bet it was just because you wanted to talk". I later messaged her about it, to see why exactly she did it. She said she was just making the point that I just don't stop talking. I still didn't really understand *why*, but I brushed it off as me nitpicking.
She also likes to write, so she wrote some descriptions of group members that were supposed to be nice. Mine was about 8 lines long, but there are some parts I thought were rude:
"she hasn't read half the books or seen anywhere near the required repertoire of films for the proper level of respect."
"she's one of those psychopaths who actually likes maths."
"all you need to know about her is that she's easy to make fun of."
I wasn't sure if I was being oversensitive, so I messaged another member of the group chat about it. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah called it "brutal" compared to everyone else's descriptions. Sarah said that Laura basically called me a psychopath and undeserving of respect. So I decided to confront her about it. I also asked her if she feels pressured to agree with Noah or act like him (since he does make fun of me), because I know that she has feelings for him. Her response was basically denying that, and that she gets anxious and projects on others. We went off-topic and it basically turned into me trying to suggest solutions for her problems. It was still filled with those kinda snarky or rude comments I've been mentioning. It hasn't been brought up again since.
I really can't tell who's wrong here, I'm trying to see if I was hypocritical and made fun of her before or something but can't remember anything, or if she was even disrespectful at all. Regardless of whether I end up being the asshole or not, I'm not sure what the next step is.
TL;DR: Friend acts snarky towards me and blames it on anxiety when confronted.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
yo0FM8AfdELPOejmIzEAUlVouMUkkalc
|
avfm18
|
{
"description": "essentially breaking up with my ex-girlfriend because she didn't behave at a gathering",
"pronormative_score": 560,
"contranormative_score": 50
}
|
AITA For essentially breaking up with my ex-girlfriend because she didn’t behave at a gathering?
|
I couldn’t think of a better, more neutral way of putting it, but that’s essentially what happened..so yeah.
I dated her for about 3 months. She was really gorgeous ,confident and free spirited. I loved how silly and bold she was, it was something that made her really unique in my book.
This whole thing happened a month ago. I had a really, really big presentation and I got really tensed. I had the opportunity to invite my gf to the function, and so I did, on the condition that she would not embarrass me and not drink, because she had a habit of drinking a lot during such occasions and losing control.
Well, turns out she made fun of me just because she thought it was hilarious. She burped loudly when I was talking to my co workers, and told about how I didn’t even have sex because of the stress. She proceeded to ask my coworkers if they could resist her body. They were obviously uncomfortable too. The presentation ultimately went horribly bad at first because she kept making stupid silly faces backstage, but then I just ignored her for the rest of the night and all went well.
First thing I did when we sat in the car was saying I was breaking up with her that night, she told me she was just trying to lighten my mood. I refused to let her touch me then, and dropped her off to her building. She said she wasn’t going to go till we sorted out the issue, I just told her to get out.
Then I gave her a text message saying I was sorry for being rude to her but we weren’t compatible, and to just move on with her life.
Fast forward to today, I bumped into a friend of hers who said that I had been an asshole for her to break up with her for being ‘silly’ at a gathering, and that no one could believe I turned out to be such a jerk.
Now I am already seeing someone, but this interaction made me question if I had indeed been a jerk. An unbiased opinion would help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 549,
"EVERYBODY": 17,
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"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 560,
"WRONG": 50
}
|
RIGHT
|
vqVNGMPUanPb4r0kNoMBQHuXhBYzpVZS
|
aknock
|
{
"description": "ending an emotinoally degrading relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA | Ending an emotinoally degrading relationship
|
So at the beggining of the school year we all got added to grade messaging group. That way we could share homework, projects ect. One of the people from this group, who I shall call "S", added my number and started directly messaging me. It started with a simple "Hi". I responded with "Hry who are you" and the conversation flourished. When the sunbwas setting i had alreadhly spoken to her about relationships and she asked me who i liked. From our lenghtly conversation. Brief encounter at school and general same intrests i knew that i liked her. So when she asked me who i liked and i had played it off as "Nobody" she had said "Oh its me isnt it". I said yes and we slept. The next month was alright. Occasionally we would "sext" and talk on a call. At some point she sent me a video of her stripping. I told her she was beutiful and how good she looked and we moved on. Later in the same week i asked her if she liked me. She saidbshe really did but didnt want to date anyone. I then found out she was talking to many other boys from different schools and was sending them nudes aswell. I told her i loved her and if she loved me she would understand that i didnt want to be coming in second to some chad. Seeing that i was pretty Beta. She said it was her choice. I agreed. She lied about being raped by her ex and that i was the best guy she ever met. She asked me for my best friends number and started flirting with him. I asked her if she liked him and she blocked me. 3 months latershe unblocked me and lied aboitbher dad raping her. She was never touched once. She landed up treating me worse than before and made me think worse of myself. I knew she had changed in thwt time che blocked me. She was playong many boys now. I told her i was done. She sent me 2 more nudes and asked me to stay. I said i didnt want to be played like a game anymore. I stopped talking to her. That was last year. This year on regestraion day at school, i saw her mom and helped her get the correct books. I ignored S. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
qGi9juITEMNI0EJ8DJSSkPkyHNCP4kEu
|
ay71j1
|
{
"description": "wearing my girlfriend's gift to the gym",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wearing my girlfriend's gift to the gym?
|
On mobile. Sorry for the formatting.
Last year my girlfriend(22f) bought me(25m) a pair of sneakers for my birthday. The sneakers are pretty expensive and I had been eyeing them because they are pretty stylish.
Fast forward to a couple months ago when I started going to the gym. I have a pair of sneakers that I regularly wear, but occasionally I wear the gift sneakers because 1) I like to flex from time to time and 2) they are very comfortable. I didn't mention that I was wearing them to the gym because I didn't think it was a big deal, but turns out I was wrong.
Yesterday I sent her a picture of me mid-workout featuring the sneakers and she was livid. She said that I didn't appreciate the gift and held no value in the things she gave me. She also equated it to her wearing shoes to gave her to a construction site (she studies engineering). I was very surprised and told her that her comparison was totally off base. I explained that not only is the gym always being cleaned, but that I check and clean my sneakers once a week anyway. I also told her that while the shoes were stylishly designed, they were engineered for sports and that one day or so in the gym wouldn't really hurt.
After a prolonged back and forth she calmed down after I promised not to wear the sneakers back to the gym. I still think she is being a bit ridiculous, but she refused to hear me when I tell her that I don't assign value to things based on where I wear them. They're special because she gave them to me. Anyway, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 32,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
a3329uLEulFMrbPeSKtkziQckUxe4S9G
|
asmwh9
|
{
"description": "booking my own accommodation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for booking my own accommodation?
|
A few friends (8) and I are traveling to NYC in July. Two of our friends had to drop out due to work commitments and I was informed the group booking would be canceled. I then went ahead and booked my own accommodation. I was later informed the group booking could not be canceled and (apparently) I am still on the hook for the original booking.
&#x200B;
I'm going ahead with my own booking but the friend who booked the shared accommodation isn't happy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9YGi5UbhcTjEMSLStiOVShrVC0qSyWk1
|
ay69u8
|
{
"description": "telling my mom to bring me to the doctor",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I tell my mom to bring me to the doctor?
|
Background: For the past 3 weeks whenever I eat large amounts of food (It's mostly at dinner) I get a severe stomachache. I also haven't been able to go to the bathroom well (it's just little pellets and I have to force it). I told my mother but she told me to take a laxative. We have the overnight ones. She told me that I have to have them over a week. Also I'm type 1 diabetic and she's been wrong before. She says I have a little cold and also told me to take pepto to take care of my stomachaches. Whenever I ask her to bring me I feel bad and my mom tells me the usual stuff.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mYJlY2rJcWfhGW0WdA63tP9x9DdDcVAa
|
affc1l
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my girlfriend when she doesn't stick up to her family for us",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my girlfriend when she doesn't stick up to her family for us
|
My girlfriend and I share an unbelievably close bond and up until recently both my parents and hers have accepted me and her into our families.
But It came crashing down when her parents started to force us away from each other.
I'm currently at university and she is on a gap year living with her parents. Our hometown (where she is) is less than 2 hours away from my apartment and there is a strong railway and bus connection to it, so on my off days (4/7 days a week) I travel back to see her specifically. However now, my girlfriend's parents have now said they won't allow her to see me whilst I'm at university and we must wait until my semesters end to see each other as it "distracts both of us from our work". Though I'm under the strong belief they've grown sour to me
This news brought me to tears sadness and anger and I'm at the point of cancelling most dates we plan and not wanting to see her, because Im angry she wasn't taking a stance against this and was saying she was powerless against it.
I'm not sure if I should feel bad for punishing her for something out of her power but it makes me so annoyed she won't do something about it to change this. I figure as 20 year olds we shouldn't have to be restricted by parents wishes as I'm certainly not.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
C99zLdU48Iv1lsp1HpPMacdIH9XLHzaa
|
a4cf24
| null |
AITA Some girl I was infatuated for a (senior) year in high school is in the same class and clubs as I am(college). She feels creeped out. I'm trying to do what I usually do.
|
So there this girl I knew for about 4 years now. I first met her at the end of 8th grade. I did have a crush on her then. However, I didn't go to the same high school as her until my junior year due to missing the school of choice deadline. (I was overseas). I didn't have any classes with her that year, but I did see her around sometimes and only thought she was really cute. Senior year of high school, we shared one class and I was completely infatuated with her. I guess I used the words "in love" as well. I did confess to her eventually, but I thought she wasn't interested. However, she told one of her friends in the class we shared and I thought she maybe was. I texted her how long I knew her and stuff. I guess that was my mistake. She started to get creeped out and eventually asked me to "stop". So I did, after high school ended I did my best to work off my feeling and find other things to do instead of thinking of her. Unfortunately, we had the same first class together. We also had similar interests and she was in two out of the four clubs I was in. I just ignored her presence and pretended not to know her. She didn't like that so she texted me and told me to: "stop harassing \[her\]". Even though, I never talked to her. "stalkerish", but I didn't even know what class she was gonna take. I replied back and told her that I don't like her and if she wants I can tell me my future courses, I'll drop out and substitute. She probably hasn't read my reply as she usually doesn't until weeks later. I honestly am a bit scared as I know that men are being accused of things they didn't do. So, I attended one of the clubs' last meeting and that will probably be the last time I ever go to that one. I'm not going to the other club. She created friends and painted me as a creep in both clubs. So, I don't know at the moment she thinks of me. I don't wanna know what she thinks as the moment. I just wanna live my life freely is that something wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
K5nQlmgl4SOQDUKEeJ2bU5URhJnP2NYC
|
arrs55
|
{
"description": "not taking my friend to a concert we planned",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I didn’t take my friend to a concert we planned?
|
Okay so first time posting, etc.
A few months ago my long distance friend pointed out that an artist we both love was going to be a state above me and performing on my birthday. We agreed if we could get tickets we’d make plans to go, etc.
The day tickets came out, I bought us tickets that were actually pretty nice, and I have yet to be paid back.
Since then she’s had a couple of financial setbacks, and has recently been laid off from one of her jobs. I’ve asked a couple times about if we can settle if this trip is happening or not but she keeps putting it off.
I’m 99% sure she’s not able to pay for her plane ticket or anything and just doesn’t want to tell me yet.
WIBTA if I went to this concert alone? This is my 21st birthday. I’ve already filed and gotten the time off from my job which isn’t easy, and I already have the tickets. I can not afford to go to where she is right now and it would be difficult for me to get time off from my company.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Pvud99PksWWizngXE25wOVLSnkCJnU7z
|
9zg1h8
|
{
"description": "getting a kid expelled",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting a kid expelled
|
For the story I’ll call the kid I got expelled D
Ok so as the title explains, at my old school there was this kid who I never really liked but never did anything about it except keep my distance from him. A little backstory, this was at my old school which primarily consisted of 65% Jewish people.
Anyways, at one point in the school year D started acting differently and a bunch of people told me that he started drawing swastikas on all of his papers. D was in a computer class I had and I noticed he kept looking up stuff about Hitler and the Holocaust. Now here’s where it all gets “juicy”. So in my computer class my friend (who has recently sprained his finger and just got the cast off) called D out for being anti-Semitic. At this point D proceeds I get all up in my friends face and twist him sprained finger.
My friends disengages from the situation and reports it too the teacher which leads the her finding a bunch of Anti-Semitic things in D’s computer which leads him to getting lunch detention. At lunch detention my friends notice that D keeps staring at us.
So one day in lunch as my friend walks by the lunch detention table, D told my Jewish friend that he’d kill him. At which point my friend reports D to the principal which causes at investigation where they ask me if D had harmed me or threatened me in any way. I admit I was biased because I was never very fond of D, so I said he had been acting strangely.
We find out the next week that D had been expelled and it was partially my fault.
I saw him not too long ago and he seems too have changed a lot and he seems completely sane. I still feel really bad for getting him expelled and for causing him parents (who were lovely people) so much grief.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FJMdd9iV4RZFQm6wiVOaWyjnzBM5FcGi
|
b2akdj
|
{
"description": "laughing at a gift my GF bought for me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for laughing at a gift my GF bought for me?
|
A few years ago my Girlfriend bought me a game for my birthday she had seen me watching a lets play of it and thought I would like it. It was a terrible game and the lets play was mocking it, so when I saw the game I started laughing at first thinking it was a joke gift, we later returned the game.
I write this because I read her a post about a boyfriend returning a game his girlfriend bought him and she has demanded judgement on my past crime.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
v6CLdR9sfG6EfCY3T5amBvUiws4Yey64
|
b66u1e
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my mom for telling me as long as I live with her, I can't get a better job",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting mad at my mom for telling me (20m) as long as I live with her, I can’t get a better job.
|
Her reasoning is since I’m her dependent on tax stuff, if I get paid too much she doesn’t get as much back and may even end up owing a lot that she can’t afford. Sometimes she throws that it may affect my VA benefits but absolutely refuses to look into if it would so that’s up to me to figure out. (This was Monday night and I just haven’t had time until later today to check the VA stuff) She says this is how I’m paying rent to her.
My thing is, I’m at cart pusher at a common store that’s everywhere. I’m extremely tired of being rained on and although I was fine working in the 90° and 100° weather last summer (I had just come from a job working next to a large oven in a small space) I do not want to do that again this year. I’m also extremely depressed about feeling like I’m stuck where I’m at with no future (I’m in college and still trying to figure out what I want to do) and her saying I can’t get a better job just solidifies this feeling. I put in to transfer departments a few days ago and me telling her this is what reignited this argument.
So AMITA for being mad at my mom for telling me I’m not allowed to get a better job as long as I live with her?
Also might be relevant that we don’t get along very well. I can add why if you guys want. And yes I have suggested family therapy but she refuses and blames it on my work/school schedule despite me telling her I would do whatever I need to to make time for it. As it stands I’m not talking to her when I move out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
oQz6rXRgEV4zFRgy4mrkazWHotGsiusg
|
b6a48u
|
{
"description": "regarding dogs? we are a couple and we are turning to Reddit to settle this",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA regarding dogs? We are a couple and we are turning to Reddit to settle this.
|
Context : We have an incredible relationship and are very happy with each other. Literally, the only « problem » we have in our relationship comes back to Girlfriend’s dogs. Boyfriend « is not very fond of dogs ». He grew up with cats. Girlfriend has two dogs one of whom she has had for 9 years and the other for 4. One time, girlfriend went to boyfriend’s house with the dogs to sleep over. The dogs are accustomed to sleeping in her bed, but they were in the living room because Boyfriend didn’t want them in his bedroom. They ended up clearly unhappy and barking , which resulted in Girlfriend walking home at 3AM thinking the relationship was doomed. As a result, we made an agreement due to the fact boyfriend is not comfortable with dogs in his apartment (especially in his bed). The agreement was that for each night he slept over at Girlfriend’s place, Girlfriend would sleep at his place, without her dogs – potentially leaving them overnight alone. Girlfriend thought once in a Blue Moon it would be acceptable if she left late at night and came back early. Well, the only time the she ever attempted to do this, she came home to two very sad dogs, one of whom had puked all over and she had to take the next day off work to clean the apartment. (It is important to note that girlfriend has also gone out before to the very early hours of the morning (even as late as 9AM ONCE) without them puking).
Since then, Girlfriend has never slept at Boyfriend’s house and he has only slept at her house because she does not feel comfortable leaving her dogs.
Boyfriend is wondering if Girlfriend is the asshole for breaking the original sleeping agreement.
Who is the asshole ? Is our relationship fucking doomed?!?!? Should, the boyfriend, eat the dogs for breakfast? Should, the Girlfriend, hand over the fucking keyboard?
PS \_ Am I the asshole for insisting on typing this because English is my first language and his is not while the keyboard is an AZERTY?
PPS\_Boyfriend is mad because I have way more karma point than him!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 11,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
AeUphd04fj2o5MVKoVccgTtOg3o6LwoW
|
b6jv8q
|
{
"description": "wearing this clothing",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wearing this clothing?
|
Hello everyone, I’m on mobile so sorry for formatting.
Later today my friends and I are going to Opening Day for the Seattle Mariners (they technically played their Opening Day game in Japan, but this is their first home game). I am an Angels fan, and don’t really like either the Red Sox, their opponent for tonight, or the Mariners because they’re division rivals. All my friends are Mariners fans and will be wearing their gear, and I’m not sure whether to buy Mariners gear to blend in with them, or just wear my Angels gear even if they’re not playing. Would I be an asshole for wearing my Angels stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Nht6NhjMmi4Jjl0gi2YMtgHO13ScKNkt
|
b3rm5s
|
{
"description": "having a messy room",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having a messy room?
|
Im using a throwaway account to protect my privacy. Im not using actual names to be on the safe side.
My sibling (ill call them S) and their spouse (SP for Sibling’s Partner) currently live with me and my mom. They are messy people. Severely. Dishes will go unwashed for days, laundry stays in the laundry room, etc. Their crap is everywhere, not just their bedroom. It’s frustrating because I constantly trip on their crap and lose my temper. It constantly gets thrown in my face that I shouldn’t be able to say anything because I myself have a messy room. The difference though is that my mess stays in my designated area of the house, while theirs is everywhere. I keep all my stuff in my room, and really only have shoes out in case i need them. It is no where to the scale of what they do.
Am I being hypocritical here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JOt0j2qcoFhqAXxWclMhBtN5BFKYWxoq
|
b0k0r5
|
{
"description": "having an issue with my friend making homeless people act as sheep dogs",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having an issue with my friend making homeless people act as sheep dogs
|
A friend was recently on a night out (I wasn't present) and got very drunk. He called me the next day (still drunk) and told me that he had paid four homeless people to act as his sheep dogs, running around and responding to his commands. He thought this was hilarious but I made it clear that I was disgusted by his behaviour and considered it to be explotitive (amongst other things).
This happened last week and today was the first time that I have seen him since. I'm really annoyed about it so I asked him again about it (now he is sober) . He still thinks that was really funny and thinks I'm being an ass hole for being angry with him. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Sk8bKO3UkdnPZXxP01NfCAeWGWFiJkWg
|
b5wozv
|
{
"description": "trying to sell a guy more stuff",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for trying to sell a guy more stuff?
|
I advertised an item for sale online, guy offers trade, fair trade, done deal. When we met to trade, I said "oh, I have this I could sell you." He agreed to buy it another day. In the mean time, he takes my item home and apparently it's not working perfectly. Thing is... It was working perfectly for me, I had no reason to suspect it was less than 100%. So, he's not upset that I can tell, these things happen... We're both reading into what the issue could be. I'm trying to help to some extent. Then, I asked him if he was still interested in buying that other item... Haven't heard back. It got me wondering, was that an asshole move? Should I have offered it to him for free, for his trouble? The traded item was worth $1000, the second item is worth $100. $100 that I could really use right now.
So, obviously not a big deal, just wondering if trying to sell him more after what he got from me has issues is an asshole move?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
SKc6sU6P2hi8BGC8A1fiey0INuiQcbhL
|
ay2pd7
|
{
"description": "keying his car",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for keying his car?
|
So, I was in a relationship and it was my first love. We were super attached to each other and admittedly too clingy. I was in high school at the time and he was in college and we both had the same job except he was paid more.
He was the type of person who would “borrow” money from everyone and anyone including me. He didn’t have a car so my dad got him a discount on a lease for a brand new dodge dart. He then couldn’t keep up with the payments and asked me to “loan” him some money. Over several months I gave him my paychecks at work for his car, (while I was 16) as well as paying for our dates and anything else he needed.
He ended up dropping out of college and joining the military. He was payed wayyy more than our fast food job and I still bought him clothes and food and anything he wanted. He turned into a huge asshole while he was away and often called me pathetic, needy, annoying, and having low self esteem.
He later dumped me over snapchat and blocked me instantly, he couldn’t even give me a phone call and I was heartbroken. A couple months later, he hit me up and wanted to see me when he came back in town. We made plans and I took off work because I still had hope of getting back together, yet he ghosted me last minute and said he never wanted to see me again.
I knew where he was staying so I went and keyed the car that my dad got him and I paid for. I know that keying someone’s car is a crazy ex girlfriend move, but I felt justified. My friends and everyone says I was being irrational but I don’t regret it. Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 25
}
|
WRONG
|
fs7Efd0T3DNU4BqauIcmTRlQ9aiHXfAi
|
b5yhak
|
{
"description": "lieing to my mother about my so and I not being able to have kids",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for lieing to my mother about my SO and I not being able to have kids.
|
My SO and I are 30 this year and have been together for 8 years with a house and a dog together as well. My mother has been pushing the grandchild topic very hard lately however my So and I do not want kids. A few weeks ago I was over my sisters house with my parents and my mother was again pushing the subject. I told her that we can't have kids and we are having a hard time with it. She was very upset and kept apologizing for hinting at kids. When in reality we can have kids to our knowledge. She has not brought the subject up since I told her that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
hMhgdcju0Xeokc8GVe4CtZp1sYUx16jk
|
b0ht4a
|
{
"description": "not going to a concert with my fiancee",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not going to a concert with my fiancee
|
So my fiancee wants to see an artist she really likes while I have absolutely no interest in seeing. It is the day of the concert and tickets are $190. She is mad at me for not wanting to go and she has no one to go with and probably won't go now. We just got engaged and barely paid rent on time this month. We have a wedding to save for and the last place I want $190 to go is to see an artist that I would hate to go see. AITA or am I justified in not wanting to go?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Md52tvky4GG4oPiLlho9fC10riLWVHHk
|
akkarm
|
{
"description": "not wanting my gf to smack my face",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my GF to smack my face?
|
So I'm lying on my bed besides my beautiful girlfriend and I'm already cranky because instead of sexy times she's been tickling me. So I'm trying to get comfortable and ask her to scratch my back and she tickles and blows air on my back and that makes me itchy. Suddenly she yells PIOJOSSO and smacks me hard on my right eye and I'm like wtfff and she yells there was a mosquito and I'm like whyy and she's like here it is and shows me her hand and lo and behold she killed a mosquito but why my face and then she cleans her hand ON MY SHOULDER so am I the asshole for telling her to go sleep on the chair? She says she's a hero because she saved me from evil mosquito overlord.
Also now she wants me to go serve her some more dessert. Third portion.
Sorry for bad second language English and mobile formatting.
TLDR: girlfriend suddenly smacks me hard on the eye turns out there was a mosquito she thinks she's an epic hero I think my eye hurts.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EHwxu9sRpMjZLdqdfnIDUnHAz5UEwTlR
|
aeeysz
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for his windshield",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay for his windshield?
|
So this summer me and some friends went on an excursion to a music festival. We were about 6 hrs away so we drove. One of my friends (driver) offers to drive us with his vehicle, so long as we pay for gas (all good). On the way there we had must’ve been too close to the vehicle in front of us on the highway and had a small rock hit and chip the windshield. None of us actually noticed it at the time until one of my friends (passenger) pointed it out. We went on and enjoyed our weekend.
Fast forward to driving back home from the festival, the chip transforms into a small crack along the bottom of the windshield, shitty, but don’t think much of it.
Now fast forward to today, nearly half a year later. Me and the 2 other passengers receive a text message from the driver asking for us to help pay for the windshield replacement that he had done because he felt it was not fair that he should pay for all of it (keep in mind we hadn’t heard a word about it in ~6 months).
Am I the asshole for thinking we should not have to pay for the windshield simply because we were in the vehicle at the time of the crack?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WVmM50z2w3Mi2KbSh5NoqV6dROghbtFt
|
9w8y6y
|
{
"description": "not sending my ex back the rent money he paid",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not sending my ex back the rent money he paid?
|
Long story short: my ex lived with me for 7 months and did not pay half of the rent until the middle of that time (3 months in). When we broke up, he said "I don't think it's fair that I had to pay half of the rent at all when you didn't tell me I'd have to in the beginning. That wasn't agreed upon and I don't think it's fair that you got that money."
There was a lot that was bad about that relationship, so maybe I just have leftover anxiety, but I've been feeling guilty for requiring him to pay half of the rent starting at month 3 when I hadn't told him rent was an expectation. I kinda thought it was common sense that if you live somewhere, you gotta pay something.
He never paid for food or water, either, and the grocery bill was easily $200 more a month because the dude could eat. Do I owe him the rent money (that's already been spent on rent, so I'd have to save up to send the $2200) back since I didn't initially tell him he'd have to pay rent?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kXYqyp0MLTl27ma9L0kLfrxHVDYuWFHI
|
awc3pt
|
{
"description": "calling out a coworker who eats too much",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for calling out a coworker who eats too much?
|
I work in a convenience store with a coworker who is almost always eating. They’re taking lunch and snack breaks like every other hour. Sometimes he will even have a cup full of trail mix or nuts next to him at the register. I’m tired of it because he should be working and not eating. I eat before and after work, never during. Yes, I get hungry. But I believe eating any time during work is incredibly unprofessional and rude. We don’t get actual legit breaks. Just whenever we don’t get a rush is when we can go to the bathroom or take a smoke break. Downtime is when we should be cleaning, restocking shelves, checking pumps, and other smaller tasks. Yet he eats.
So I report him to management. Not only our immediate manager, but corporate as well.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
MBxbi2dCFMMMAxsjSu8kiDpq5aZJOgOn
|
aogju0
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my bf of 7 years",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my bf of 7 years?
|
So 3years ago my bf and I separated for like 1 month if so long because I just felt stifled in the relationship. So within that supposedly short space of time, he started talking to this girl from work. I had no idea about this and I still don't fully know the time table of their friendship. When we got back together I went on his computer just to browse some forums as I left my laptop at home. Upon opening it, he had his photo gallery opened and I saw snapchat pics between them and also this very long love letter thanking her for being so awesome in a nutshell. When I found it I flipped out and he had to leave work early. He said he was bored and he really had no feelings for her because I was the only one he wanted.
We did not get back together right away because for some reason I just felt he was lying. If it was nothing he had a whole 3 months to tell me and he didn't. He said no time was the right time.
Fast forward a couple months later, I saw he was checking up on her on social media. I stressed that I didn't appreciate what he was doing and it really made think he was lying to me again about not having feelings. He said he wouldn't do it again and I left it as that.
Now Monday of this week, he came across a post I made on a forum about a crush. It was a tarot reading thing and I just posted in it for shits and giggles but it wasn't anything serious. I posted a letter of my fake crush and he THOUGHT I was talking about this guy who liked me during the period we were broken up for. The guy and I had nothing but he always assumed something happened. The guy lives in NY and I live far across the globe.
So I told him I knew he still looked up the girl and I actually didn't. I pretended I did because for some reason he has been moving kinda weird with me. You know if someone is guilty they try to project things on to you? Well turns out he is still looking her up and when I asked him he said he was bored, again. I told him it was entirely disrespectful for him to keep doing that even when I greatly expressed that it was very suspicious and makes me uncomfortable.
He still saw nothing was wrong so I broke up with him. It's been a week and he has not reached out or contacted me. Am I the asshole for breaking up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
L9h1UXQrb3zQTozR1sRz4X7CZVo9RXXk
|
a5z3wl
|
{
"description": "asking to spend less time at home over winter break",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for asking to spend less time at home over winter break?
|
I go to college in a huge city. I love that there’s so much to do and the independence I finally have to do whatever I want whenever I want. My last final is next Wednesday, and I’m going home on Saturday for winter break.
Winter break lasts a little over a month, and I’m honestly not looking forward to it. It’ll be nice to see my family but I really think a month is too much. I’m just going to be sitting around super bored in my small town with nothing to do when I’m used to the city and being able to do whatever I want.
Usually when I’m sitting around bored like this I get super depressed and basically end up just sitting in my room crying because of how bored and lonely I am. My family basically does nothing, they just let me sit in my room all day. And I don’t really have any high school friends I could hang out with(nor would I want to hang out with them). I don’t have my drivers license so I can’t even drive anywhere when I want.
I want to go back to school maybe after New Years. I’ll have spent the holidays with my family, and then I can come back to the city and do what I want. I’ll have no classes, and my annoying roommate won’t be there, so I can really get some peace and relaxation for 3 weeks. Yeah my friends will be at home but I love hanging out by myself, so it’s perfect.
I tried to lie and say the semester starts earlier but my mom found out the truth. Now I’m thinking about saying a job that I want starts early so I have to come back early if I want it, but I feel bad for lying this much. If I just say I want to come back early for alone time, they won’t listen because they’re strict and value their desire to see me/know what I’m doing all the time than more than my desires for independence. WIBTA for making up some reason to leave earlier?
Tldr: Winter break at college is a month, but I don’t want to be at home bored in my small town with my strict parents for that long when I could be chilling in the city. WIBTA if I lied for some reason to go back to school earlier?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8bmn9y0lrhePAVpTw4GLnEEhmhfYFNnv
|
az1qvw
|
{
"description": "not really liking to hug my mother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not really liking to hug my mother
|
I (19yo F) hate hugging my mom because it makes me feel violently uncomfortable. I hate kisses even more and always kinda have. I cringe when she gets too close and I love my space. She always insists that I should give her a kiss and it grosses me out. Honestly I had a terrible relationship with her until I moved in with my grandparents and didn't have to see her as much anymore.
I don't hate hugs altogether, just hugging her. I AM kinda awkward though.
Not sure if this is valid information but I am Bisexual or a Bicurious lesbian and am out of the closed. She is homophobic. Unfortunately her being homophobic couldn't be the reason for my discomfort around her, since I always hated hugging her, but came out when I was 14-15 yo. All my friends love their moms, some are even best friends with their moms.
My mom and I can't stand each other, but sometimes when she has not been particularly painful to be around and has even been nice, I would think she deserves a hug. I would hug her then feel terrible.
I need help. Am I a dipshit for not loving my mom unconditionally?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5j4Fth4I8yW3Y5UqrFHrG6NFzhqhN2sN
|
a26qfb
|
{
"description": "accepting an internship offer, but coninuing to interview with other employers",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for accepting an internship offer, but coninuing to interview with other employers?
|
I'm a business student at a US University. Every year, the summer internship cycle gets more and more competitive. After about 20 declines, I finally received an offer for a company that I feel neutral about.
The problem is, they only gave me about 5 days to decide whether I wanted to accept or decline. It's an extremely large corporation, not a small business. AITA for potentially wasting an employers time and money on onboarding, even though I may pull out at some point?.
I'm well aware that this will definitely burn a bridge, but I also know that I'm spending thousands of dollars on tuition and want to get the perfect opportunity post-graduation. It's a bit of a "bird in the hand" situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QW4Ub2ZibCraZytsrpSoGsOFDXdEFFZF
|
9tufjy
|
{
"description": "asking a cop to use his blinker",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking a cop to use his blinker?
|
Heading home last night I saw a cop change lanes twice around other vehicle's without using his blinker. I was already pissed becuae I was going 80 mph on the highway and some dude was way up my ass. I moved over to let him pass and it was a cop who then proceeded to fly down the highway at 85 mph. He got off the exit for the police heaf quarters so its not even like he was responding to anything. Just abusing his power.
So I catch up to no blinker cop at a light and I give him a wave. He rolls down his window and heres the coversation that followed.
COP: Hey there. ME: How you doing? COP: Alright.... Me: Hey you should probablybe using your blinker when you change lanes. COP: (agressive) YEAH IS THAT WHAT SHOULD BE DOING? Me: Well that's just what I do COP: YEAH?! ME: Have a safe night sir (should've said "officer")
I rolled up my window. He then agreesively backed up. I assume to write down my license plate number?
I understand the cop could have had a rough day.... but the road I was on.... and everywhere... has a problem with people not using blinkers. Cops can't feel above the law and should be a good example. My dad thinks I should have told him "I think your blinker isnt working" but I feel passive comments like that are even more rude.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
V2uLUgEI6G87PrCCD3bf13BtyZirJ0Yc
|
aax2cd
|
{
"description": "thinking that this constitutes being a bad friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking that this constitutes being a bad friend?
|
My friend and I used to be in a romantic relationship, but after breaking up about ten months ago we decided that our friendship was still mutually important and we would continue to be close friends. Part of it was necessity, as we were both still on the lease for the same apartment (we live with other roommates, not just the two of us). That being said, we were honestly very close friends and for the most part things had been fine and even great.
A few months ago, he made a few friends at work. Not a problem - it’s great to make new friends. I made new friends as well. Soon after, however, the behavior that I’m unhappy about began. We would make plans together like normal. However, those plans would sometimes result in two scenarios.
First scenario:
He would forget (according to him; I honestly don’t think it was “intentional” either but I can’t read minds so who knows?) about the plans he made with me and make new plans with someone. It was usually the same friend that he’d make these new plans with.
Personally, if I were to forget about a plan and accidentally make a new one, I would apologize to the second person and explain that I had already committed to doing something else and either offer to do it another time or ask the first person if they would be willing to do something the three of us depending on the situation. His solution was to just say “sorry” and continue on with the second plan, leaving me out.
Second scenario:
He would go spend time with that same friend from the first scenario either earlier in the same day or the night before something we had planned to do. That itself isn’t a problem at all. Make all the plans with friends you want. However, when I would express concern that he frequently got very drunk when he spent time with this person and we had plans coming up, he’d insist he “wouldn’t be drinking” or “wouldn’t get drunk” and it would be fine. It turns out, that wasn’t usually the case. He would often get drunk and then be so drunk or hungover when he got back that he would have to back out of the plans he had made with me. Sometimes he’d come back hours later than expected and it would be too late regardless of whether he was drunk.
When I started pointing out that he was doing this, he didn’t see a problem with it. He seems to think that because we live in the same apartment, it doesn’t matter if we have plans to do something because I’m just there already. In my opinion, living in the same apartment doesn’t mean that you’re spending time with or actively maintaining a friendship with somebody and isn’t an excuse for backing out of or refusing to make plans.
His solution to this became rather than making plans with me, telling me “no promises” when I’d invite him to do something. He was saying “no promises” that he wouldn’t forget about the plans and go out with the other friend instead, or that he didn’t want to make a plan in case said other friend asked him later on to do something at the time I had invited him to do something.
Later on, I mentioned I’d be interested in meeting this friend sometime since they seem to hang out a lot and they sounded interesting. His response was that that wouldn’t be possible, because this person didn’t like me. I don’t know this person, and our only mutual friend is him, so I asked what he said that would make this person not like me. He told me that he didn’t say anything, but then later changed his story to say that he didn’t actually know what he said at all because he had been drunk.
When I have a gripe with him, I usually keep it private and only bring it up with him because I think that talking about it with others in most cases would be unwarranted and I don’t want friends of mine to form opinions of him, particularly negative ones, through secondhand things rather than from actual interactions they have with him.
As far as I can tell, I am the only person that he calls his “friend” that he does these things to, and he otherwise acts completely normal with me outside of doing these things. Am I the asshole for being upset about and thinking that him doing this is acting like a poor friend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
owZQcURcW3BWrIFYRbAjlnOKVhMurEz6
|
a81k6k
|
{
"description": "asking for a refund for shoes I bought from my regular store but found cheaper elsewhere",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking for a refund for shoes I bought from my regular store but found cheaper elsewhere?
|
I popped out in my lunch hour to buy a new pair of shoes from an independent store I’ve been frequenting for years. My podiatrist recommended the store originally, my purchase history is in their database, and the consultants who work there really know their stuff and give great advice. I happily handed over the price on the price tag for the new design the consultant recommended.
I then wandered over to the local shopping center, where I happened to see a sign outside a chain sports shoe store saying “50% off all Asics”. They were selling the identical shoes I’d literally just bought for over £50 off. I asked if they had my size in stock, and they did.
So after some hesitation, I traipsed back over to the independent store and said “I hate to do this, but...” [showed them a photo I’d taken of the price tag of the same shoes on sale a few hundred meters away]. The consultant held his hands up in the air and looked completely downcast, “oh our friends at the center are at it again”.
He ultimately offered to price match and refund me the difference on the grounds he’d rather keep me as a customer than not, and said he could completely see where I was coming from but bemoaned their tactics and explained it wouldn’t make them any money.
It wasn’t like I had a problem paying the full price, and I value the service in that independent store, so I feel really shitty about having asked - but at the same time, I’m a consumer and not a charity. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
AADD5phDLaZHRlt8dMBcdfkVzBatSGaR
|
b6it7c
|
{
"description": "wanting to sky dive",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to sky dive?
|
I’ve had skydiving on my bucket list for quite a while, as most people do. Falling is one of my biggest fears so it’d be a huge accomplishment. I’m finally 18, I found a place to do it and I can afford it. However, it really stresses my mom out. She keeps sending me articles on skydiving deaths, even though I’ve given her statistics (you’re a lot more likely to die in a car). She tells me we’ve had a lot of stress in the last 4 years (moving, dog passing, 2 family friends passing, etc) and she doesn’t want any more. Am I the asshole for wanting to sky dive when it’ll stress out my mom, or is she just being a protective parent?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 14,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jBYF94AKmoMkY78viVonPBF9KlIpIdDa
|
acanfx
|
{
"description": "trashing the property management company",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I trash the property management company
|
I have been asked to renew my lease, they are increasing my rent by about 9%. I tried to negotiate that down, meet them half-way, but they won't even discuss it. In context I live in a high rent city but average rent went up 1% this year according to studies. And the building is at least 10% empty, so I know it isn't in demand.
I am pissed, but will probably renew anyway with it being a hard spot for me to move right now. Would I be the asshole if I trashed them in reviews describing actual grievences fairly? I know it may cost people their jobs but, I am frankly insulted. The other reviews are generic crappy 1 or 2 star ones, but a properly written detailed one would generally have more weight.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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zMQSARHfvZE5GknQdTwVwBasvq4KGKo6
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avsslc
|
{
"description": "wanting my boyfriend to not smoke indoors",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my boyfriend to not smoke indoors?
|
Background: Together three years, we were close friends for a year before that. He's been smoking for like 15 years, but has been (allegedly) trying to quit for as long as I've known him. Vaping is the thing that helps him the most (He says he's tried the gum, the patch, etc) and I have absolutely no problem at all with him vaping indoors. Cigarette smoke gives me headaches and it also emotionally hurts me that I can't even sit close to him after he smokes
Current situation: we don't live together, but we spend most of our time at his place. It is a no smoking apartment and he has lived there for a while, but he recently decided he didn't care and was going to smoke indoors since he would probably be losing his security deposit anyway. He still claims to want to quit smoking, occasionally mentions he has set a quit date, but no success.
Why I think I might be TA: he knows that cigarette smoke bothers me. I asked him to smoke outside and he acted like he was doing me a huge favor for obeying the terms of his lease and showing me what I feel is basic courtesy. He only smokes outside when I'm around, like his house doesn't smell if I don't see him smoke. I've asked him to brush his teeth after he smokes and he said of course, that's easy. But he doesn't do it and acts like I'm making a fuss when I remind him. I'm worried he'll think he can smoke indoors if/when we move in together.
This is the only topic we struggle with like this. We can talk about money, sex, communication problems, or whatever. We listen to each other, behaviors change if needed, nobody's feelings are hurt. But he acts like I'm being unreasonable when I try to talk to him about his smoking.
AITA? Are my expectations too high?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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Lsg7tSYxmBVgQfEQWwn0Kp9ID9HqS5Z7
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ardt8c
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{
"description": "not wanting to start drinking so early",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to start drinking so early?
|
I’m about to graduate high school and I’m not much of a drinker. I’ve had some sips but nothing tickled my fancy. Me mum is worried that I won’t have a good time at college if I don’t get some experience under me belt before hand. I can see where she comes from but I can still have a good time without getting obnoxious and ignorant under the influence.
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HISTORICAL
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ay6wkt
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{
"description": "fighting back to my bullies at school",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for fighting back to my bullies at school?
|
So for backstory: I’m a sixth grader, and some, no, a lot of the kids in my class like to bully me, and i think it’s because of my body. Anyways, whenever someone throws something mean at me, in defence of myself, I throw something back at them. Last year the kids in my class made up this thing called my name touch, and they all acted scared around me. It’s over now because those kids are in the older class. But another thing someone does is say to my best friend when I’m around is say “I feel so bad for you friend’s name,” and we’re friends. I only fight back to make it stop though, and I’m actually really kind.
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HISTORICAL
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af3qml
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{
"description": "engaging in sexual activities with a drunk friend while drunk",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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}
|
AITA for engaging in sexual activities with a drunk friend while drunk?
|
Posted on confession and confessions but someone said it might be more relevant here.
It was my first year at university. I was thrilled. Honestly, I was a bit scared. Having gone through my college years of GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) and hardly ever attending, I scrambled together some mediocre grades and got a place at a University. I made some friends during freshers, but nobody really close, these friends didn’t really invite me to anything, you know? I always had to ask if somethings happening, didn’t help they were in a different flat. Anyways, after freshers, I made some close friends, two people I would consider my best friends, back then.
We formed our friends group and constantly invited new people and made friends. I was a virgin and kiss-less at the time, so I would constantly be on the subreddit “Seduction” to do research and put the stuff I learned into practise. I finally lost my virginity to a girl. I was on top of the world. I did more stuff with other girls. I had an amazing friends group. Sure, there was drama at times…But overall, it was fucking awesome.
Well, it was fucking awesome until girl A joined the group. Now, whenever there were girls joining our group, I never really interacted with them because people would joke around like “oh he’s trying to get with her “. So, I pretty much just ignored her. Friend A on the other hand, he loves to flirt with girls and he’s extremely confident. He sort of taught me a lot that I know today. Anyways, girl A had a boyfriend, but friend A didn’t really care and just kept talking/flirting with her. Turns out that she was on a long break with this boyfriend and things weren’t going too well. So, friend A decides he can potentially get in there. Now, I genuinely loved Friend A, and I wanted the best for him, so I wing manned him a lot. Friend A and girl A became quite romantically involved, no sex or anything, but a lot of kissing. Friend A was obsessed with her. He fell in love within a week. But so, did she. Then, when friend A confessed this love, she also returned it. She told Friend A everything he wanted to hear. Friend A obviously wanted a relationship but she didn’t want to officially break up with her long-term boyfriend.
She constantly told Friend A things such as: you’re the best thing ever, you’d be the best boyfriend. You know? Stuff like that. She’d say she loves him and he’d say it back. Then, one day, she decides things are going too far right? She has a boyfriend that she’s on a “break” with, so she decides to tell friend A that she just wants to be friends after saying she loves him. Friend A is distraught and assumes she’s gotten back with her BF. She had not. Friend A decides to just be friends with her. They’d still hang out, and she’d kiss him and flirt with him. Bizarre. I was fully involved at this point, trying to sort out this thing. I honestly wanted them to just be together because they were perfect, and I loved seeing my mate so happy. Numerous times over, she’d say she just wants to be friends with him and then he’d get mad and scream at her, and then the next day she’d tell him she loves him. Over and over again. A complete cycle of bullshit. Lmao.
One night, we’re all out clubbing (like the full group of more people), and we’re all having fun, but obviously them two are having drama, so Friend A storms off, and then Girl A starts flirting with me and then another friend breaks up a moment where we’re about to kiss (we were both intoxicated). Anyways, that night, friend A didn’t see any of that, but at one point he’s screaming at her and then storms off in the middle of the street and Girl A is crying in the middle of the road. I genuinely felt really bad for her because I never could fully understand why he would get so aggressive. I talked to her about it, we spoke with friend A, and everything was sorted, they were just going to be friends.
Friend A was constantly a bit of a dick to me at times. But he became even more so. Maybe he blamed me for ending their “relationship”? I don’t know. Me and the whole group sort of disliked him because he made a lot of drama and was a dick to people. After that night where everything was sorted, girl A starts messaging me a lot, and being quite flirty, which I flirted back to. She invited me to her room like the next day and we just chilled and stayed up all night chatting about life, nothing romantic. I asked her about the moment we nearly kissed in the club, but she claimed she doesn’t remember. She kept constantly inviting me to the library, which I accepted. After having bad anxiety for 2 years, and not being able to leave my room, I decided to not turn down opportunities, I should be grateful that I can leave my house without throwing up, feeling anxious, head spinning, feeling tired and unwell, so I accepted every offer from people at university. Friend A was extremely jealous that I was hanging out with girl A. We both told him nothing is going on and we’re just friends. Times pass, she becomes my gym buddy, my library buddy, my hangout buddy. We would constantly message each other. We would flirt for a joke. And then, when we went clubbing, we would get drunk and dance together, and then I’d lean in and so would she and then she’d usually pull away and tell me we can’t kiss. This happened a lot. Why didn’t I just get the message right? Well, there were tons of mixed signals. She’d grind on me at the bar, sometimes she’d even lean in herself. We’d hold hands and hug and flirt with many sex jokes. Now this whole time, I was constantly battling myself, telling myself she’s just a friend and I shouldn’t do anything. She then goes and tells friend A the other reason she hasn’t kissed me is because of him. Kind of a mixed signal to be honest.
Anyways, we’d video call all the time, still flirt, she’d tell me to stop flirting, and I’d stop and then she’d flirt with me so I continued again. One night, we were drunk and in the same bed and cuddling and says fuck it and we start dry humping but then she stays stop so we stop. It’s like, when I’m sober I’m like ok she’s just a friend, no problem, girls and guys can be friends. But when we’re both drunk, the barrier goes and we sort of lose control. Friend A hated all of this and heard about it, and seen it all. He called me a dick friend, and I always knew it was wrong what I was doing, considering he was still in love with her this whole time, but it didn’t stop me because she wasn’t an object and she could make her own decisions. I don’t even know my own thought pattern to be honest. I just sort of went with it. He always told us if anything happened, he’d never speak to us ever again.
So, there was a holiday break, I go back to my country and we’re constantly video calling. And I badly missed her, so I told her that I liked her in more than a friend way because I don’t just miss my friends. She tells me she doesn’t feel the same way. I respect that and move on quite quickly, but I just continue to be her friend. Friend A, tells us that he doesn’t love her anymore and we can do anything. The next day, I arrive back at university and there’s a little group party. My parents gave me alcohol so I said I’d share it with her. We drank a 1/3 of a bottle of prosecco and a 1/3 bottle of wine each. Then, I drank her some of her schnapps, which was already mostly gone. She was wearing quite a casual outfit and then she asked me if she should change and I told her no there’s no need. She then strangely changed her outfit from casual into a dress. I wondered like, is there a reason for this, I don’t know…
Anyways, we head from the party to another friends flat, we’re holding hands and talking about how “coupley” we are. We get there, and we both start drinking some more schnapps. Maybe an hour or so later, I offer out my hand and take her into the corridor, and I lean in to kiss her, she tells me no and then a second later starts dry humping me. So I lean in again, and she tries to move away, so I grab her hand and block her path and ask her why not. She then storms away and begins crying. She comes back with her other girl friend visibly upset. I tell her I’m sorry for upsetting her and I leave the party and go back to my flat as I didn’t want to create any drama and ruin the atmosphere. She then video calls me and tells me she’s coming to my flat. I meet her in the corridor and she says to go to my room. We’re lying on the bed just talking about random stuff and our friends come and check on us and then they leave.
I start drinking some vodka toffee on my side. She goes into the toilet and says she feels sick, so I offer to hold her hair back( like I’ve done plenty of times beforehand). There was once a time she was so drunk that I had to carry her home. She tells me to get out as she doesn’t want me to see her throwing up, which I assumed was weird as I’ve seen her throw up before. Anyways, I just sit by the door and I’m not really hearing her throw up, so I walk in and then sit next to her. She gives me a hug and then lies on my chest. She tells me I’m comfy. We get into the bed and she asks for one of my shirts as she likes sleeping in a shirt, so I comply. We’re giggling and laughing and having banter and then we start snuggling in bed. I start escalating on her like the seduction posts I’ve read. She’s obliging and next minute we’re kissing each other on the neck and dry humping. I try to kiss her on the lips but she turns her head away, so I ask why, she tells me she’ll catch feelings, so I kiss her on the cheek, which she then says “you’d be so good”, idk about you, but I took that as a continue… I continue to kiss her on the neck and she’s also kissing me back. I have a foot fetish. She doesn’t know, but we’ve joked in the past about her not knowing my fetish. So, I decide t
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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ZbogUnOb7k93Z4uocofceY8L1H9t4wDy
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am9xmh
|
{
"description": "slacking on the job",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for slacking on the job?
|
I make $24/hr as an EMT which is way less than I'm worth with 19 years of experience. I have a philosophy that one should put X% of effort into their job, where X% is the ratio of how much they're paid to how much they're worth. So if I'm worth $31/hr, I should put 77% effort into my job. But that's unfair to the children who need my help.
I'd only put in 77% of effort if there's a net societal benefit to the person dying. That usually means if the person is an organ donor. Every time an organ donor dies, their organs go on to save up to eight lives. Why put 100% effort into a net loss of seven lives, especially when I'm not being paid enough?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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4Dh5vInacIVN3TAfVrksqqWk5yQuSQM0
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ap77mf
|
{
"description": "withholding information about my work from my husband",
"pronormative_score": 244,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for withholding information about my work from my husband?
|
Throwaway because my husband checks up on my main account. Background information: I am 28. He is 30. I'm a lawyer. He works in business and is getting his MBA at night. Last semester, he took a "business law" class for business students (this is relevant).
A few months ago, I stopped providing real answers when my husband would ask me about how work was going or if I had anything exciting come up. He's always had a tendency to try to tell me how to resolve situations at work, which is super annoying because he has no idea what he's talking about, but it's gotten so much worse since he took this stupid business law class. He now thinks that he is an expert on law and lectures me about it. I wasn't even telling him detailed stuff about my cases. Our conversations would go like this:
>Me: I have to go to court tomorrow.
>
>Him: State court or federal court?
>
>Me: State court.
>
>Him: Why don't you remove the case to federal court? You know, you can do that by (insert long lecture that is littered with mistakes).
>
>Me: Because the federal court doesn't have jurisdiction and, even if it did, I wouldn't want to do that because (explanation).
>
>Him: Well that's really stupid. (Insert more lecturing).
I told him to knock it off a few times but he said that he was "just trying to help." So, I stopped telling him anything about work. I know that probably wasn't very mature of me but that's what I did.
This was working out great for me until last night, when we had dinner with my parents. My mom brought up a recent win that I had mentioned to her in passing but had not told my husband about. He handled it very gracefully while we were at dinner but when we got home, he made it clear that he was very hurt that I hadn't told him about this. Now I feel like an asshole because I prioritized my comfort over his feelings but at the same time I really do not want to go back to listening to his long lectures. AITA?
&#x200B;
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
EIQ46vl3qO52jcZJBL8WdKmOEPLzgR9W
|
9vsy31
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{
"description": "being grumpy/possible rude, when my girlfriend had a friend over drinking and listening to music until 2 am when I was trying to sleep",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being grumpy/possible rude, when my girlfriend had a friend over drinking and listening to music until 2 am when I was trying to sleep
|
My girlfriend and I moved into an apartment that she bought a few months ago, so she owns the apartment, she pays the mortgage, I pay the bills. So I am not paying rent.
Last night she had a friend over and they were drinking and listening to music (not extremely loud) until 2 am and would likely have gone on longer, if I didn’t get out of bed and walk to gas station for smokes.
I had gone to bed around 10pm (needed to do some work this morning)
She asked me where I am going and I said to the gas station as I can’t sleep. When I returned from the gas station they were leaving the apartment to go hit a club.
This morning she is super mad at me, and claims I was rude to her friend because I didn’t come and speak with her and just said bye.
It made me feel like a guest in the place I live and this was something that she assured me wouldn’t be the case if we moved into her apartment from a shared tenancy. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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QgUYP2ia3PyH7lS0Gg0dc4CkR1g97jan
|
b1qdrl
|
{
"description": "telling my so called best friend I don't care to hear about her adventures that she excludes me from",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA I told my so called best friend I don’t care to hear about her adventures that she excludes me from.
|
Am I the ass for telling my friend I don’t care about hearing about what she does with her other friends. Ok a little back story first for context. My ex best friend and I had been friends for about 13 years before we decided to get into a relationship. I moved to California to be with her bringing along my two daughters (not important just context). I had no family or friends in California just her. We got an apartment together and well our relationship went south. We are no longer in a relationship. My bedroom is the living room meaning I have no bed just the couch my daughters have the other bedroom. I go to college full time and work full time. My so called friend almost never does anything with me. We are past the point of being sour about the end of our relationship so it isn’t like we fight about that but it is hurtful to me who is alone here with no family or friends that she is forever going out with other friends/family and never invites me along to do anything with just her or her and others all the while proclaiming to still be my best friend. Finally I had enough and told her yeah I don’t care I don’t want to hear about it because it is hurtful and that in my opinion she wasn’t being a good friend to me. She then responds all mad and tells me she has to live her life yada yada and acts like I am not supposed to be bothered by this. Now when I say she never invites me this is not an exaggeration. So am I the ass for not wanting to hear about the good times she has with others while excluding me.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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gJMLhpct19S8A4NDODpmX32l3Vj5j9PR
|
ba0dtq
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate he cant complain about being fat because he eats like shit amd hes lazy",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for telling my roommate he cant complain about being fat because he eats like shit amd hes lazy?
|
My roommate always complains about being overweight and how he can never get guys and how much he hates being fat he never shuts up about it. Ever. It's so annoying. I also should state I would call us kinda friends, not just two guys who live together.
So today we where walking back from class together and he was complaining about how no guys will hook up with him because he's fat and he just wants to be skinny (they also don't go out with him because he outs people in our homophobic college, and has already hooked up with every gay and even some straight men in our area) and then suddenly I look next to me and he isn't there, he has stopped to take the elevator. We are only on the second floor going down and he has no problems with his legs yet He always always takes the elevator.
I tell him "hey why don't we take the stairs they're right here and that elevator is super slow" and he says " why you got nowhere to be" I groan and say something along the lines of "you know you should be taking the stairs" to which he says "oh yeah why is that huh?" And I say "because you're fat".
I feel like I should note, he isn't just "overweight" or "big boned" he is undeniably unhealthily fat. To me, when it isn't called for, it is very rude to say it, but it's also just a fact and it's stupid to pretend like it isn't. He was also literally just saying it about himself.
So he gets upset with me saying he can do what he wants and so I get upset and say something along the lines of "yeah, you can do what you want, but when you choose to eat ramen multiple times every day, get drunk multiple days a week, and refuse to do so much as use the stairs when it comes to excersize, then I don't want to hear you complain all day about how hard it is, you could change if you wanted to with minimal effort and you don't because you're lazy".
Now he is really upset with me and doesn't want to talk to me. Obviously I know loosing weight is hard, and if he even went to the gym like twice a week or even tried to eat healthier I wouldn't care about him complaining so much, but he does absolutely nothing, and I see nothing wrong with telling him the truth about it especially when he complains all the time and can't seem to comprehend that there's a connection between his habits and his weight.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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20BvcrKk82MQWlpwsG1cNPxbCn9EtRRn
|
aspmsp
|
{
"description": "turning down free hockey game tickets from my brothers for D&D",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for turning down free hockey game tickets from my brothers for D&D?
|
So, it hasn't happened yet. But I'm kinda backed into a corner.
And if you know a better place to post this, please let me know.
My immediate family still in michigan live fairly close to each other. Maybe a 45 minute drive at most. Thing is, none of us are particularly close. But we want to change that. And my brothers have invited me to go to a hockey game they will pay for this Saturday.
Thing is, I reserve Saturdays for my "weekly" dungeons and dragons game. It's been a couple weeks since we played, and everyone wants to continue as we left on a pretty big cliffhanger.
And to add to it, we have a good military friend joining the game who is stationed in Korea. And leaving in a couple weeks.
I know I want to hang out with all of them, but I have absolutely no interest or desire to see a hockey game. And I cant invite them to DnD, as its cramped enough as is.
Am I the asshole for turning town free tickets to a hockey game with my brothers for dnd?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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ParxlgxtwjQkHrbIIEzc8JMaQa6zGQnv
|
a3gh1v
|
{
"description": "staying silent about my ex-best friend's mom dying of cancer",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for staying silent about my ex-best friend’s mom dying of cancer?
|
I’ll try and summarize this the best I can. So, my best friend (at the time) and I had a falling out a few years ago after 6 years of friendship. The reason doesn’t really matter, there were fights leading up to it as well. We were becoming different people and less compatible as friends. She moved away, and we never talked about what happened or reconciled. I look back on our friendship with fond memories and cherish the times we had together, but I’m happier without her in my life and I think she feels the same.
I now find out her mother is dying of cancer. Her mom has battled cancer multiple times in the past while we were friends, but now it’s severe and there really is little hope left. A few weeks ago, she invited me to the Facebook group they are using to accept donations for a last-resort alternative therapy treatment and give everyone updates. I’m going to send a check of a few hundred dollars to show my support, but I kind of feel bad not saying anything directly to her or her mother along with it?
I was close with her family, especially her mom. I basically lived at their house throughout high school, and took trips with them to their hometown and hung out with all the cousins, grandmas, family friends, etc. Being so close at one point, I feel guilty not reaching out and giving my condolences to my former friend. We haven’t spoken in over two years, and I’m afraid if I reach out it will open a door to rekindle a friendship that I’m not willing to have again. I know it sounds harsh, but I know that is what is best for me.
So, my dilemma is that I feel guilty either way and I’m not sure what the right thing is to do in this situation. I would like to send my condolences, but I don’t want to open a door to friendship (which I’m not sure she even would want, it’s just a possibility I must consider). But I also feel guilty staying silent with all that is going on. I feel like if I was someone on the outside looking in, objectively, I would think that when someone is dying all past shit should be put aside and do what you can for that person. But it’s just so much more complicated than that. Should I reach out to the friend? Should I reach out directly to the mom? Would reaching out only to the mom and not the friend seem more petty than anything? AHHHH HELP.
So, AITA for staying silent about my ex-best friend’s mom dying of cancer?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kHbrrNqNWDUe7NHX25h3eLx1C4BbG3rf
|
axvnzq
|
{
"description": "asking out a girl whose sister I asked out recently",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I asked out a girl whose sister I asked out recently?
|
So I'm straight male. I took an interest in a girl (I'll call her Sarah) about 6 months ago. She was really an amazing person, and pretty too. I wrote her a love poem asking her out. She said no, and I (in my humble opinion) took it like a champ. We are really great friends and I can even drop a joke here or there about the rejection with no awkwardness or anything.
Now that I'm friends with her however, I met her sister and WOW, she is (in my personal opinion) better than Sarah in every way (not to say Sarah isn't great). I am super crushing hard on her right now, and want to ask her out. Really, she is the girl of my dreams. I don't want to offend Sarah by asking out her sister 6 months after asking her out, but her sister and I hang out a lot and I think it would work out.
WIBTA if I asked out Sarah's sister after asking her out?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
bigvBVpruBHiN0mdcHNnz7faWQhpCG17
|
a6hmqy
|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my work wants me to donate to charitable fundraisers",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my work wants me to donate to charitable fundraisers?
|
I started a new job a few months ago, and it's a good but not amazing salary. This company, at EVERY single company meeting or event very uncomfortably makes everyone feel obligated to donate to charities. Usually it's at the sign-in table so you can't avoid it -- and it's not just a jar sitting on the table, they fully engage with you about it so it's incredibly awkward to opt out.
The thing is, the company doesn't match donations or anything! I would be *all* for this if the company was taking on an equal burden. But this way, the company contributes nothing but can still get positive PR by saying "(company) employees contributed $x to this cause!"
I feel that what I choose to do with the money the company pays me is none of the company's business, and if I'm going to contribute to a charity I'm sure as fuck not going to put the company's name on it when they are not contributing anything.
I can't really even fully articulate why this irks me so much and I tried explaining it to my husband and he didn't feel the same.
So am I being a stingy asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
WPqTJgFbO1yf7OOZKac25urqSNikASoJ
|
aehz3o
|
{
"description": "kicking my SIL out of our small game development team",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kicking my SIL out of our small game development team?
|
I guess some backstory needed. Without too much detailes, some time ago I made a mobile game, a clicker that was reletevely succusfull, it gives me about 12$ a day (and a bit more after the launch). For you it may not be a lot, but in my country it is more than some ppl make by working whole day. All the drawing were done by my good friend free, but I still took him to cinema and pizza after the launch, coding was done by another friend for some cash that I promised to pay after the release (and I did).
&#x200B;
Why am I telling all that? Becouse my in laws were like "hey, your sil draw and is studing as a programmer, make next game with her" they thought that is was really easy and would give her a lot of opportunities. She also really wanted to be part of it, she was really exited, really wanted financial independence (she is 16 years old). I was a bit skeptical since I already gave her some really easy stuff to do for a lot of money and she was too unreliable to do that. But I had to agree since now I don't have money for freelancers and my friends are busy while project is bigger. Anyway, I was really generous in my opinion and offered her 50 of earnings if she does coding and art, Ill do the rest (balance, publishing).
&#x200B;
Time goes on, she is unable to do the coding part for all kind of reasons. Ok, I I'll do it myself in that game engine where you can make a game without coding. Despite having real job, wife that needs attention somehow I managed to learn that engine, that she, a very clever (as said by my in laws) girl that literally has all day as her free time couldn't (no collage for now).
&#x200B;
More time goes on, she is unable to finish anything, when she doesn't like the way something is drawn she takes a fucking 3 hour rest. It came to the point when she literally opens photoshop, does something for 10 mins and calls it a day. After that she is just chilling in social networks, not even studying. I should mentioned that all this time I reminded her that she needs to work, but she would just roll her eyes. Meanwhile I have finished almost half of my game AND STILL HAD TIME TO JUST CHILL.
&#x200B;
I a few days ago I gave her a deadlines for some arts that I need, she asked "and what if don't fit in it'? I said that ill find an artist who will. Knowing that she will ignore my warning I started looking for an artist. I found a girl that had style that I wanted, poor soul was so exited that she suggested to work for exposure (yeah, paradise choosing begars lol) of course I insisted on actually paying.
&#x200B;
As I expected, my sil failed to finish what I asked for, and I said that she is no longer part of my team, no one actually expected me to kick her out, I guess my bad for being a bit soft in the past. Now she doesn't speak with me, and all my in laws are mad at me and act as if I have done something unbelievably bad.
&#x200B;
TL;DR Started making game with sister in law, she didn't do anything, kicked her out, everyone is pissed at me.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
P.S. The girl that I hired does great job.
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8VZ0NQvgtu9oDb7MohRXRf9RmTV5RUEi
|
ac95k5
|
{
"description": "telling my father not to purchase scratch-offs/lotto tickets",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my father not to purchase scratch-offs/lotto tickets?
|
Some context here:
I am an adult with my own income source. But his own finances are always exceptionally tight, enough so that I've needed to 'bail him out' occasionally on missed bills and such. I don't begrudge that, I know things come up, but it also makes me a bit sensitive to *waste*.
Occasionally he will bring up that he played/paid X amount and won Y amount. Invariably, Y amount being larger than X amount. This leads me to believe that he probably plays far more than he actually tells me about - and I'm only hearing about the winnings. Often times there is some excuse offered as a pretext before the story about why it was purchased - "Oh, it was just the change from the 5 when I got a coffee." or so on.
I'll often respond by simply telling him that he probably shouldn't purchase those, that in the long run he will lose money on them.
And he will usually respond by saying some logical fallacy - there are plenty of those. Your typical "someone has to win" or "You have to play to win" type stuff. I won't call him out directly in that sense, I feel like that wouldn't really help me make a point, but I'm not sure.
So - Am I the asshole for turning it into a negative thing when he tells me about winning?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9K8k55FBWun61Wlgu7up0CAO9SR3XDsK
|
ambxx0
|
{
"description": "not apologizing",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not apologizing?
|
So my former friend, who I'll call "E" had some codependency issues. I knew this from the start and did what I could to accommodate without jeopardizing things I wanted to do like screensharing if I just wanted to play video games or link the vid I was watching on Youtube so we could discuss it.
Recently, another friend showed me Pokemon on Minecraft and I joined a public server and started up a breeding ranch for pokemon (the one thing I've always wanted to do in pokemon games!). Well I met a few other breeders who wanted to start a group ranch and I accepted b/c I got a lot of jobs and spreading out with a few others would make it a lot easier. The ranch was going to be massive and would take at least one week if not two.
I made a server on Discord for the new group so that we could all hop in and out of voice chat when available b/c we're all in different timezones. I added E to the server too so that they wouldn't feel left out even though they couldn't play due to shoddy internet. We did our best to talk about other things aside from building, but a lot of the conversation ended up on making the ranch.
E got upset with me and asked if I could go to private call with everyone so I could screen share. I told them that it wasn't possible b/c of the timezone differences since a call would literally call everyone's mobile devices or laptops and cause them inconvenience. They attempted to guilt trip me and accused me of being unfair and unwilling and left the server. I was too tired to deal with it at the moment so I took a deep breath and let it go.
Next day E sends me messages saying I was in the wrong and needed to apologize because my refusal had hurt them. Again, I stated I wasn't refusing. I literally couldn't do it b/c I had to think of everyone else b/c it was a group project and that E was in the wrong to have accused me and attempted to guilt trip me like that and now go off on me when I'd done nothing wrong. E shouted that they weren't asking me to move the sun and moon, just that everyone be in a private call so I could screenshare. I again told E that that wasn't possible. E said they refused to apologize and wanted me to apologize for hurting them. I had said previously that I was sorry that they were hurt, but that I would not take blame b/c I'm not responsible for their internet making it difficult to place the game. E basically said that wasn't good enough.
As someone who just got out of a toxic relationship, I said that I wasn't going to take blame for something I didn't do and said goodbye.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
s7VDzD0fT8qdeONaFkq9CyTuZzIBnpLS
|
a6b666
|
{
"description": "rehoming my wife's reptiles",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 236
}
|
AITA for rehoming my wife’s reptiles?
|
Throwaway because my wife knows my main account.
My wife and I have been together for 6 years. We recently bought our first home together after living in an apartment for the past 3 years. She’s going to school for a PhD in biology and is doing great, and I just landed a job as a CPA while I finish my military contract. Everything is perfect... well, almost.
Wife has always had reptiles. She had them before I met her, and it is something she is extremely passionate about. She had about 5 snakes, 5 geckos, and a group of communal frogs. She takes great care of them and dedicates a good chunk of her time to them each day.
I was never a huge fan of her creepy crawlies, but she never made me care for them and paid for them all herself so I didn’t mind. I had absolutely nothing to do with them.
That brings us to our current issue... Wife is pregnant. It’s not unwanted and we’re both very excited, albeit nervous.
I don’t want to bring kids into a household with so many reptiles (possibility of bites, diseases such as salmonella, etc), she is adamant that her reptiles are staying. She said that our kids do not have to interact with or be around the reptiles if I didn’t want them to, but she isn’t getting rid of them because they’re her “pets” and she’s attached to them. We had quite a big argument about this.
She argued that her reptiles are kept in enclosures that the kids can’t access, in a room that is easily locked, and she is very careful about hygiene and washing her hands after interacting with her reptiles. She also claimed none of her reptiles are dangerous or venomous, so they pose no threat.
I simply don’t feel comfortable with our kids growing up in a house full of reptiles.
After our argument, I was angry and ended up putting all of her reptiles on Craigslist to be rehomed. She went away for a few days to take care of something for school and bada bing, bada boom... her reptiles were gone.
She came home, blew up at me, broke down crying, and asked how I could do this to her. She asked me if I rehomed her first snake, which she’s had since she was 17 years old and raised from a baby. I told her all of them had been rehomed.
She acted like I killed her dog. She demanded I give her the info of the buyer, and I did, but it seems unlikely that she’ll get any of them back.
She’s threatening divorce over this. I am at a loss. They’re *reptiles*. They’re not cats or dogs, they don’t bond with their owners. She’s refusing to see my side of the situation and is treating me like some sort of monster.
Reddit, AITA? Should I have handled this differently?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 236,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 236
}
|
WRONG
|
Uxjb6AW9RKftf0iPtuXj7I4fd3OriArY
|
annflk
|
{
"description": "telling my co worker that she has lice",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling my co worker that she has lice?
|
So, a little backstory to this. I had lice in middle school and my friend from back then noticed and told me that I had lice, and I was super grateful for her telling me that. I got all the lice out but I have an irrational fear of getting lice again so every time I talk to someone, new people or not, I always check their hair while talking to them if I see any lice crawling in the persons hair.
So, now I work at a desk job and yesterday, while I was talking to a female co worker at her desk, I saw an adult lice crawling in her hair. Ive seen lice up close so I knew what that was immediately after I spotted it. I honestly froze up and I made up a lie that I got sick all of a sudden to leave her desk.After I finished talking to her, I went to my desk and I was thinking what should I do. Tell her or not tell her?
I went on lunch and I smoked a blunt while thinking on what I should do, thinking about my coworkers and not wanting to happened like that episode in The Office with the lice outbreak
So I told my co worker to come with me and get a snack at the break room so that we can talk. While mid way of walking there, I told her “ So, I wanna tell you something but I want you to know that before I tell you, I want you to know that it took me a lot of guts to say this and Im not trying to come at you in a rude way or in a negative way but I think you might have lice. “
She asked me why do I think that and I then proceeded to tell her about how I also had it and that I can spot them easily now. She didn’t react that much, she just said okay and the walk to our desk was quiet. That day she left without saying good bye but I didn’t think much of it. I still thought we were on good terms
Today, she didn’t talk to me at all and she asked my best friend ( who also works with us and also knows about me seeing the lice in our co workers hair) “ Why did Gm205 tell me that I had lice? Because I don’t “ and she walked away
I thought I went with the best option, but my co worker thinks otherwise. I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong but I kinda wanna know if telling her was the best thing to do.
Am I the asshole for telling my co worker she has lice?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HZs3HOe65lHi8pDSuEPZdsgtZ2ZBgSMC
|
aqmbhs
|
{
"description": "buying a motorcycle without my boyfriend's consent",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for buying a motorcycle without my boyfriend's consent?
|
My boyfriend is opposed to me getting a motorcycle, at least for the present time. We live in a large city with notably bad traffic, it is admittedly dangerous to ride a motorcycle in this city. (Or anywhere.) However, one of the nice things about a bike is that you can lane split and get places faster, which would be very helpful for me as I am taking night college classes. I have to get across town after work in a hurry. Also, I'm a basic bro, I've always wanted a motorcycle.
We don't share finances and I can easily afford the motorcycle and the additional insurance for it. He's not against the concept in general, but we are planning to move to a smaller city in a few years, and he says he'll sign off on the decision then.
WIBTA if I bought a motorcycle despite his objection? I get it, he cares about my safety, but at the same time, I've always wanted a motorcycle, I can afford it, I'm a good safety conscious rider. I always planned to buy a motorcycle someday, but now seems like a good time because of school and my tight schedule.
(Why can't I just leave work early, you ask? The answer is, I can and I do, I can set my own hours and nobody is really allowed to say boo about it. However, it's still a job and I need it for the next few years, sometimes I get stuck working late because my coworkers and vendors decide to shit the bed 5PM and I need to fix it by the next morning. I work as hard as I can to prevent bed-shittings and I can come in early to fix things too, but still, cutting traffic time in half would be a huge help.)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
ryugq2ruqz7hTaZzhWfKGNrPUuwRRCp2
|
b6irgp
|
{
"description": "controlling my partner's drinking",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for controlling my partner's drinking?
|
My partner has had an unpredictable drinking problem for the last 5-6 years. When we first started dating and went out either just us or with friends, I noticed how fast drinks would be consumed and then how quickly it could escalate: blackout, sleepwalking outside of buildings in his underwear, punch windows and get cuts, try to climb out of moving cars, and just in general become an entirely different person.
After writing it off as him being a "bad drunk" I decided we needed to have some rules so I wouldn't have to worry if he went out with friends. Before this ever got a chance to be discussed, the cops were called on one of the more unruly times my partner was wandering around drunk in our apartment complex.
We decided together this couldn't go on any longer and decided that he couldn't be trusted to drink alone, drink more than 3 drinks in a social setting, and had to be open about where he kept alcohol (like not in a shoe box under our bed so I couldn't find it).
At first, he was super great with everything, told his friends how much he'd changed, loved that he could remember nights better and I was happy since my anxiety and worry wasn't through the roof when he'd go out. Well as time passed, the "rules" were more guidelines and slowly but surely he stopped following them. I found empty bottles hidden around the apartment, he'd come home drunk and deny it, or he'd stay with friends who enabled the behavior and thought I was being a prude.
This has led to many huge fights about how I can't trust him if he keeps lying to me about drinking alone or when he's out. He has said that I am being controlling of his drinking, that I'm trying to keep the rules around as a power move of control.
Last night was the final straw after I saw that he went to a gas station, chugged a bota box, threw it in a dumpster so I wouldn't find it and was trashed the entire night and doesn't remember a thing. He left the door open so my cats could have ran away, broke things from stumbling around the apartment and persistently lied until he knew he couldn't and told me about the bota box.
It's getting to the point where if it hasn't changed over the last 5 years, I feel like it will never get better and I might have to consider leaving the relationship.
AITA for wanting to have some sort of boundary to his drinking habits, like going sober or the previous rules? I'm open to any and all advice, I just really want to do the right thing and if I am being controlling, to figure out a way to deal with this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bZsKKuF0p6ZnqROevfyPG4xDGZDuYvQb
|
a6hvot
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my so for someone else",
"pronormative_score": 56,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my SO for someone else?
|
Using a throwaway because some people know my main who I dont want to be involved.
So this is sort of a long and complicated situation, so I'll give sort of a brief rundown.
I've had feelings for this girl for about a year now, but she had a boyfriend. So a few months ago, I decided that it was time to move on. I made a bad choice by just seeing someone else to try and move on. It worked for a while, but I really couldn't get over this girl.
Her and I had already been good friends for a long time, and she admitted to having feelings for me, too. I didnt feel like it was fair to my SO to stat with her, so I ended it.
Thing is, my original crush had also separated with her SO for the same reason.
Now we have a couple people telling us that we're bad people for doing that and that we would be assholes if we ever began dating. In my mind, I feel like it would have been more disrespectful to just half-ass a relationship, especially with someone else in the picture. AITA for breaking up with my SO for someone else?
Tl;dr: broke up with my SO because I had feelings for someone else. Now I'm being told that I'm an asshole for doing so
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 53,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 56,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
Utvsino2ZLDYOaXxrghxb3TVFW87zjdp
|
aevqwy
|
{
"description": "kicking out my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For kicking out my roommate?
|
My boyfriend and I moved out of his brothers basement suite (finally) and got our own house to rent last year. Our buddy and coworker (I work with my boyfriend, family business) was going through a tough time and recently broke up with his fiancee, so we figured, hey this could probably work out! He was renting a room elsewhere and was crashing on our couch more often than not, so when we got the place he moved in with us. The only rule was that we listen to loud music, and that won't change, and he needed to be okay with that. He heard how loud our music was before he moved in so he said it wouldn't be a problem. My boyfriend and I put our names on the lease and he rented a room and we split the rent in half with him, but we pay for the utilities.
Everything was alright for the first 4 months, he would kind of clean up after himself, he'd interact with people that came over, and be really appreciative when I cleaned the house and when my boyfriend would cook us dinner.
Then he got comfortable. He stopped cleaning up after himself completely, he stopped offering to make dinner, and eventually started expecting that dinner would be made for him all the time. (We would go over to a friend's, have dinner with them, and come home at 830pm and he'd ask "did you guys already eat? Oh, I guess I'll make something for myself") Our music didn't change, but his whining about the volume increased. It's almost as if he felt entitled to everything we do for him.
Fast forward to last night. Our roomie hurt his knee, so he stayed home all day by himself. We came home around 530 and we started cooking and cleaning. My boyfriend just finished cooking an amazing meal, and I was uncharacteristically drunk. I was eating while reading my book and rocking out to my favourite band. Roomie comes down taps my google home and shuts off the music, without asking to turn it down beforehand, and said "I'm sorry but I'm irritated, I'm getting really sick of all this music." And then goes upstairs. I'm irrational in my drunken state and I looked at my boyfriend and told him to deal with it, since I felt like I couldn't without blowing up.
My bf goes up and talks to him and reminded him that this was the deal. We wanted loud music when we had our own place and that's what was happening. We would have been respectful if he asked about turning down the music, which he never did, he'd just complain about it. "I don't remember you guys telling me anything like that." Which we did. Literally our only rule. And he goes on to say "well maybe you guys would be better off on your own." Bf: "fine then, move out." Roomie: "GOOD."
While I have been growing increasingly exasperated with him, this isn't what I wanted to happen. If anything we were going to wait to talk to him until we renewed the lease. I know that my frustrations were starting to come out in full force, i haven't been a saint in the situation, and I was even planning on having a talk with him about his cleanliness so that it would make the rest of the year run out smoothly. Then this happened.
TL;DR: Roomie has been increasingly growing too comfortable in our home, having meals made for him and being cleaned up after. We had one rule, that we wanted to listen to loud music, he said it was fine. Last night he turned off our music without asking to turn it down first and the discussion that followed resulted in him getting kicked out.
AITA for getting my roommate kicked out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
kHsm8pyjSX9bCcOEnYMEWdiOD0dR9dW6
|
ap5bvy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to move my wedding date",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for not wanting to move my wedding date?
|
My fiancé and are have finally decided to set a date to get married, we both agreed we wanted an October wedding so we settled on the 12th of October.
When we told his family the wedding plans my fiancé’s sister announced that we cannot get married in October as she’ll be too busy with university as they have a production running for the full month of October. She is adamant she can’t take any time off at all to attend the wedding.
My fiancé doesn’t get along very well with his sister and he says he doesn’t think we should move the wedding and if she can’t make it so be it.
I can’t help but feel bad - especially as my fiancé’s mother is putting pressure on us to move the date. Am I the asshole for wanting to pick my own wedding date?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ruKgja0zwWbqdEDAjMdejL1LCVtl4UGd
|
b7t5r6
|
{
"description": "telling my ex shes being a bit too honest and going off a tangent about me overspending my money",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA, I (28m) told my ex (29f) shes being a bit too honest and going off a tangent about me overspending my money?
|
It started when I was asking her details on how a NY cheesecake is made. You can make a no-bake version which I can do or a bake version. Well I was also indecisive about either making 3 different cheesecakes or 3 same plain cheesecakes for a Bible study group.
http://imgur.com/a/pXhWSq4
Well, as I was asking she was going off that I wasn't budgeting and didn't know what I wanted and therefore I should just bring a simple veggie tray vs what I was thinking of doing. All while bashing me. And finally I told her she was being too honest and then that's when shit hit the fan. I tried to respond with a constructive way to help explain it to her how I saw it, but felt like it went no where...
I know she means well but AITA because I told her to chill with her "too honest" feedback.
P.s. the demanding an apology is nothing new. She has done this in the past when I dated her and it's some sort of tactic that's used to one up. I personally already apologized "generally". I'm not about to apologise for every little thing she calls out.
|
HISTORICAL
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a76xjt
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{
"description": "telling people what my ex co-worker is really like",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling people what my ex co-worker is really like
|
TL;DR at the bottom.
A bit of background; so up until a couple of months ago I worked with this guy, let's call him Tony. He's the kind of guy who everyone loves, but is actually a bit of an dick, however people tend to look past it because he is energetic and funny. We both worked in a pretty tight environment with a team of 8 other people. We worked long periods (almost 3 months) full on, then had a good chunk of time to relax, however we were still working together during these periods. We often used this down time to blow off steam by going out drinking and meeting new people, hooking up, etc, stuff we couldn't do during our 'on' time.
So I'd been working with Tony for about a month in an 'off' period, and we'd got on really well. He was a pretty intense guy, a heavy drinker, and when he was drunk he would get pretty loose, not really having a filter, saying whatever he wanted, not really caring what happened or who he hurt. It was pretty funny, because we got on well and I was never on the recieving end, and it was mostly harmless. Then one night just before we start our 'on' period, we go for a night out. I'm late to the party, so I'm more sober than everyone else, but still up for a good time. I meet them at a bar, and the first thing Tony does is smack me in the balls, in a friendly way, but hard, I'm pissed off, I tell him to fuck off, he argues with me but eventually does. Not wanting to ruin a good night, I tell him to come back in 5 mins when I've had a chance to cool down and forget about it. 5 mins later he comes back, and we're all cool, albeit a little tense. We move on, keep drinking, and eventually, after a few bars, decide to get some food. I'm still relatively sober at this point. During the process of getting a hotdog, an argument breaks out between Tony and some locals. I do my best to intervene, trying to calm down this other guy, while our coworker tried to calm down Tony. Suddenly Tony turns on me, pushing me, telling me not to get involved, telling me not to get in-between him, etc, luckily nothing physical but pretty intense stuff. Eventually I tell him to go fuck himself, and walk home by myself. The next day it's put down to a drunken argument and we move on. However this starts an air of tension between us.
So then comes our 'on' period. It's a pretty high stress time, however the 10 of us are a strong team so we get through it. However Tony is turning into a bit of a dick to me, it starts with "jokes" than are a little personal, then turn into him slagging me off to the rest of the team behind my back, although within earshot. I confront him, we move on, and again it kinda gets forgotten about, but the tension is still there.
Then comes the catalyst. We finish the 'on' period, and get some time off. Cue plenty off drinking, partying, and general debauchery. In this time I meet a lovely girl, let's call her Rebecca. We getting on well, hanging out a lot, the usual. Then she messages me saying things are going too quickly, and she wants to stay friends, but that's it. Sad times, but shit happens, I'm not gonna lose sleep over it. My team know about all this (we're close to we tell eachother everything). A couple of days later she messages and says she was sorry, she just got nervous, and wants to meet again. So that night we meet with Rebecca and her friends, she's with her dad cuz it's just been her birthday, we have a few drinks, then go to a bar where Tony and some of my team are drinking. Tony launches into her, threatening to hurt her if she screws me around again, verbally abusing her, saying that's she's slut and a whore (to her Dad), a genuinely unbelievable encounter. I'm shocked, completely and utterly. I confront him, he tells me that I should have expected it, I should have known what he's like, completely not accepting what he did was totally wrong. He keep this stance up. Things between me and Rebecca kinda break down, again I'm sad but not gonna lose sleep over it. However I'm still bloody mad at Tony. He was well out of line, and his refusal to admit and apologise rubbed me the wrong way. He has abused a member of the public, who he doesn't know, and her father, put our name into disrepute (Rebecca and her father were well aware of where we were working), and to make matters worse, the incident is being brushed under the rug by our team leader, because he's friends with Tony. Again, we move on, we don't want to ruin the team dynamic, it's not worth it over a girl. Fuck...
About two weeks later, I leave that job, partially because of Tony, and partially for other reasons. I leave on good terms, and the team leader gives me a very good reference, all happy as. However a week later I get a message from Rebecca saying she'd met Tony on a night out, and he'd been incredibly abusive to her, slandering her and telling vicious untrue personal rumours about her. I am fuming, however I tell her there isn't much I can do unfortunately, since I don't work with him anymore, and I know how things have been dealt with in the past.
While looking for a new job, I meet a lot of old friends, who are mutual friends with Tony and my old team. When they ask why I left the job, I tell them, partially for other reasons, and partially because Tony was was an abusive alcoholic who needed to be babysat on a night out because he lacked self restraint and could not be trusted not to be horrifically rude to people he didn't know, and then to make things worse would not show any empathy or understanding for where he has gone wrong, and I did not want to work with him anymore because he made my life very difficult. I was generally pretty scathing of him, to people we both knew very well, as well as other people in the industry.
Well this backfired on me. I got a new job, things are going well, and then my new team and my old team with Tony end up working next to each other. It's a little awkward but we're all grown ups. Or so I thought. A couple of days later I get the following text from Tony
Hi u/unofficial_ed ,
It has got back to me though quite a few people this side and in XXXXX that you have been talking shit about me. I know this for a fact and you slagging me off its not something I want to hear anymore ! I'm sure you don't want me to take this further!! So it's your choice if I hear you saying anything bad towards me again you will be sorry.
Kind regards
Tony.
Fuck. This message pissed me off, partly at myself because I really should be above that kind of behaviour, I was raised better than talking about people behind their backs, and partly because of the hypocrisy of it all. So anyway not wanting to start anything that I know I will lose (he is stubborn and judging from his message and past behaviour this could potentially turn violent), I apologise in text and in person. He seems cool with it, although there is still tension.
So that begs the question; I slagged off someone I used to work with to our mutual friends, and others in the industry. Am I the asshole?
TL;DR: someone I used to work with was a dick to me and incredibly abusive to a girl I was with, and in return I told our mutual friends plus other people in the industry about how he was a dick to me and incredibly abusive to a girl I was with.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
8hzOH0SXAFqMo1eXb7EecGA3nJmQabVP
|
alwjhm
|
{
"description": "using a harsh analogy to prove a point",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for using a harsh analogy to prove a point?
|
So I was on Twitter and I saw a news article about a man who had made a third of all posts on Wikipedia for free. I was looking through tweets about this article and the top one was a woman saying, "Looks like just as I had expected." I was a bit taken aback by how unnecessarily rude to this person who did an impressive task by himself. So I had decided to put my own two cents on the whole situation and I responded with this: https://imgur.com/gallery/gJnZoas .As you can see, I have been suspended for promoting violence against a race. I understand the analogy was harsh, but I don't think it was necessarily worth being banned. What do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b74hl4
|
{
"description": "being upset at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA by being upset at my friend ?
|
Hello everyone,
Yesterday I was supposed to see a friend at 2pm. I was ready to leave my house when she texted me she couldn't make it today. However this is not the first time she has done this to me, actually it is the second time this week. It's been almost 3 weeks since we try to see each other but everytime she either have something else planned last minute or didn't wake up.
I feel really bad about all this and I was kind of angry at her when she told me she wouldn't be there yesterday again. I think I may have hurted her (I'm a really calm person usually so it may have shocked her). I also wasn't mean in my texts.
So, AITA for being upset at my friend ?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
zsoCvm8r6SS4E5d6uZ4OLoFRVTU0FCIh
|
anboir
|
{
"description": "leaving my dog in my car on a very cold day",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for leaving my dog in my car on a very cold day.
|
Yes, it's very cold out (-27C), and yes she was in there for just over an hour (something that she does all the time because she always prefers to come along instead of being left at home), but I still think I'm not the asshole because:
1. The car was completely warm before I left her.
2. I turned on the heated seat during the drive over to provide additional warmth (just in case).
3. She's a husky.
When I went to check on her the cops were waiting and said *"the only reason we didn't break the window is because she showed no signs of distress"*... Yea, well, no kidding. She was perfectly happy because she's literally bred for these temperatures (not that I would ever leave her *outside* outside just to prove it... but I figured the shelter of a [warmish] car for an hour was ok).
Am I still the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Mn0wwvvo8Ic80AqKSC307vdt3XhAvldD
|
b082ss
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that he shouldn't even be so worked up over his e relationship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I told my friend that he shouldn’t even be so worked up over his e relationship.
|
Okay so my friend K is dating a girl who isn’t so great in Thailand who’s manipulative and abusive. In the first week of them dating she lied about having cancer. She’s mistreated him so much and he just sucks it up and takes it. They break up and get back together a lot and it’s toxic. I’ve been warning him about the red flags that she’s been blatantly showing to him and he acknowledges it but “wants it to work”.
Aside from that she appears to have a shitty family, I say appears because I don’t trust what she says and my friend is a little naive and gullible. So she tells him about how fucked up her stepdad is and how he called her a bitch and what not, and how her mom just enables this behavior and does nothing about it. It sounds extremely bad. The girls sister has a young infant that is mistreated often and rides in the car with no seatbelt. So hearing it all gets my friend riled up and he says he wants to fight the stepdad and feels protective of a young child he’s never even met or will likely meet. And in my head I’m thinking, “you will never see this girl as she’s across the planet it isn’t that serious, I understand her conditions aren’t that great but to let it affect your schoolwork and outer vibe is ridiculous.” Yes he’s allowed this to let him be off task, his grades even slipped a little from being with her. And another thing is I’m skeptical of if all the details can even be true, as she has always tried to push blame on him during arguments and when he stands his ground something all of a sudden happens to make him forget his anger and go into “protective boyfriend mode”. It seems like a way to just divert attention away from the issue and to get sympathy. If it’s all true then I pray for her but I doubt it. There’s no way for him to even verify it considering he’s across the planet.
So, WIBTA if I said this to him? And apologies if this post is written in a shitty way I’m on mobile.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
p7O2qMKUjxsELRo0TVSxQuday3clCMpE
|
a45kzl
|
{
"description": "attempting to help calm down a child who isint mine",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for attempting to help calm down a child who isint mine.
|
I work for walmart on the door, and sometimes I get posted at the door by service desk. Around 9 last night a women and her husband and 2 kids came in and went to the service desk. The kids were around the ages of 10 and 4 or 5. I was standing there and shortly after they got to the desk, the woman picks up her youngest and sets him in the cart cause he kept running away. I go over with my roll of stickers and say "come on bro it isint that bad!" And hand him one.
He then turns to his mom and says "Come on bro, let me out!" Over and over. While her husband and other kid found it hilarious, and in turn made the youngest laugh, she kinda glared daggers at me for the duration of her stay. She never complained about me or said anything to me about it, but I couldn't hell but feel like I did something wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
3kF1EgBlgpWxxVfmOS9l0oPCWUR2wVNw
|
aktqn9
|
{
"description": "carrying on a date",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for carrying on a date?
|
Happened a while ago but was dating a girl for a few months and in the middle of a date. She gets a call from a friend of hers who had been in an accident. She was close by so I went over and picked her up.
Driving her to her house when she notices the pocket knife clipped to my belt. Technically not a pocket knife, its a multi tool, but it does have a small semi dull blade on it so meh. She said she did not feel comfortable with the knife on my hip as I could "force my gf to do things."
My GF tells her we regularly fuck and to not worry about it. I make the joke "If you don't like what is on my belt, you will hate whats in my center console." GF pinches my arm and gives me a dirty look. She knows my glock is there, hell our first date was to a gun range. (Texas yall.) This chick though.
I hear an ear piercing "YOU HAVE A GUN!!!" This starts an argument where she is saying that you never bring your gun on a date. I could suddenly decide to rape her and use the gun to force her. You know basically saying a bunch of things I would never do.
This started an entire argument that lasted till I dropped her off. She then tried to get my girlfriend to leave the car, actually crying as she pleaded with her, and threw a huge fit afterwards.
Now before anyone says anything about it, I never hide the fact that I am armed when I am not at home. (Robberies can happen anywhere so do not preach about being paranoid vs being prepared.) I have always let my dates know I pack heat. Hell most of the time the gun range is the first date because it is an excellent ice breaker, gets the adrenaline pumping, and gets everyone in a good mood when all safety precautions are taken and proper technique is taught.
AITA for carrying on dates even though I inform my dates ahead of time?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
9z8ggo
|
{
"description": "taking back a dog day before Thanksgiving and making 4 kids cry",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking back a dog day before Thanksgiving and making 4 kids cry?
|
So we found a dog around a month and a half ago. It was a very energetic social dog we'll call "Levi." So we took Levi to PetSmart to see if she had a chip and she did! They contacted the owner but could not get in touch with them. Left multiple messages and we ended up just taking Levi in for the time being.
Now, Levi is a very energetic dog and when she was in the backyard she ended up running away. We were worried and looked and found her in an animal shelter. They had also contacted the owners, but once again, no replies. So after a week of her being in the shelter we decided to foster Levi until we could find a better home suited for her (we aren't home enough to properly exercise her for hours like her breed requires). So we've been fostering her for about two to three weeks now, and a couple days ago, she escaped and ran away again. A woman found her, and called the owners (just like we did), only this time, they responded and picked her up.
So we decided to contact them to ask about seeing Levi (and making sure she was in a good home, since we felt like the owners did not GAF about her and could've been mistreating her). Today we went and we saw her tied to a tiny post in the backyard, with the backyard fence broken. We were pretty pissed off since it's 50 degrees and raining right now, so we asked one of the kids to bring her inside. We gave them the dog food, leash, collar, etc. and were going to drive off when Levi ran off. We chased her and put her back in our car, but the more we think about it the less we want to give her back to her owner.
The owner is a woman with 4 kids who lives in a house with roommates and apparently puts Levi outside in the backyard often. We told her we won't give her back unless she goes through the official adoption process and pays the $100 to adopt her back, since we are legally fostering her right now. I feel like she will refuse to pay the $100 because up until now she has had no regard for where Levi was this past month and a half and did not even pick up her calls about her.
I feel like she changed her mind about owning Levi and suddenly wanted her back. We are taking her home with us and gave her the shelter's contact info in case she wants to officially adopt her, but right now I am furious at how dirty and cold Levi is. She is shivering. AITA? I feel bad since we made her kids cry right before Thanksgiving and basically took their dog away.
TLDR: We took back the dog we were keeping for a month and a half from the original owners since they didn't seem to be taking care of her. Made kids cry before Thanksgiving
|
HISTORICAL
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a65kzy
| null |
AITA for how I’m handling this?
|
Throwaway because I have IRL friends on my main and I’m not really ready to tell them about this.
My partner and I have been together for years, live together and have a child together.
About 2 weeks ago, I had to go to the ER because of an abscess that ruptured and I started having symptoms of sepsis. While in the ER, they found the reason for the infection - I have a large tumor that started to ulcerate (it’s pushing through the skin, causing a never healing wound which got infected). They took imaging of it, and they scheduled a doctors appointment for me because I had to be seen ASAP about it. The earliest I could get in was 2 weeks after the ER trip.
I just had that doctors appointment, in which they took a biopsy. Unfortunately, because of the size and the fact that it’s ulcerated, I’m going to need surgery regardless of the biopsy results. The biopsy will just let them know if I need additional treatment/a larger margin in removing the tumor. We’re aiming at surgery early next year.
When I got home from the ER, I didn’t tell my partner about the tumor. I didn’t want to worry him without having any concrete information on it, and I kinda selfishly just wanted to have one last “normal” Christmas if the results aren’t good.
I thought that I could make it through the biopsy without telling him, that way good or bad I could just give him the news and not have an additional person anxious for results. I was wrong, that shit hurts like hell and I can’t pretend it doesn’t and needed more help around the house/with our kid so I told him the day after the biopsy.
He’s been reassuring, and I apologized for not telling him sooner/later (either right away or after I knew the results). He said it’s ok, he understands, but that he wishes he could have been supportive from the get go. I still feel like an ass for not telling him right away or not being strong enough to hold off on telling him until after we figure it out.
I did tell him that regardless of the results, I’m going to need surgery so I’ll need him to take a week off around surgery time so one of us is home for our kid. He fully agreed and is willing to use his vacation time for it. But I did tell him that I didn’t want him to come to the hospital while I’m in there. He seemed kind of heartbroken about it, but I explained that I wanted things as normal as possible with one parent with our kid and I didn’t want our child to see me like that in the hospital (he’s young, not school aged yet but old enough to realize something is wrong). He did try to argue that hospital visits and surgery are a part of life that we shouldn’t shield our kid from, his mom could watch our kid for a bit so he could see me when I’m out, and a number of other rebuttals to my concerns. I kind of stuck to my guns because while it’s true that illness is a part of life, if it only needs surgery and a follow up for treatment, I’d rather not have our young kid have to see their mom like that.
So, AITA for not telling him sooner/later and for not wanting him to come see me post surgery in the hospital?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
zPaoZcfseBF8xwimCuevDuF2fv5f1ZoQ
|
aujbdh
|
{
"description": "ditching a girl 40 minutes from her house on our first date",
"pronormative_score": 123,
"contranormative_score": 105
}
|
AITA: I ditched a girl 40 minutes from her house on our first date
|
I know the title already sounds like i'm a major asshole, but there is a few more variables that need to be discussed before you make your decision.
Also, this is a throwaway acct for obvious reasons
So I meet a girl on Tinder named "Kim" and we exchange a few messages before deciding to meet up for coffee.
The date is going OK, although it was a bit boring, we grabbed our cup of starbucks (i paid) we chatted for a bit and decided to drive to a cool little outdoor park to go for a walk.
We drive around 30 mins to this park, listened to a bit of music on the way, still getting to know each other a bit and everything was going fine.
I parked, we got out of the car and walked a bit, still chatting, nothing deep, but the usual what you do for work, hobbies etc etc.
I had to take a leak, so I go to the bathroom and when I walked out, I noticed she was talking to a guy and he was being very flirty and when I walked up to them, he asked who I was and she responded: "oh he's just my friend hahaha" and he said he wanted to grab her number to go out for a drink sometime. She was all too happy to give him the number and they hug with a kiss on the cheek before he leaves.
At this point I was just over it. I wasn't that interested in her and if she's the type of person to show interest in another guy and exchange info in front of me I have no future with her.
I decided to make up some random excuse to get away from her and just got in my car and drove home. I didn't want to have to deal with her company for a 40 minute drive and was over it.
Oh well, I honestly feel like a bit of an asshole, but also feel it was just in a sense considering what happened....
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
PpOtSikyNEGSXiz6csF6z9y5klNgIGPv
|
a4egj1
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate to stop buying single-ply toilet paper",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I ask my roommate to stop buying single-ply toilet paper?
|
This is the dumbest issue and part of me is ready to just drop it and deal with flimsy TP. But I hate using single ply, and I hate making guests use it even more. Even my shitty job doesn't have single-ply in the bathrooms.
I bought some nicer stuff recently, but when that ran out he got more single ply. I should probably just always be the one to buy the toilet paper if I have a problem with his, right?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
vfoxKMHxYVKFzXdpFVYFv33rJdlJJccN
|
au4l5r
| null |
AITA is I expect my live-in common law boyfriend to send a text at least once during the night that he is out drinking with his friends and possibly ex-wife?
|
I gladly let him go out as I am trying to cut back drinking and didn't want him to miss out. We usually spend every day together so it was nice for me to have alone time too.
But like one text or call would be nice. I've told him many times before that this makes me happy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
c5X4T68FxGrrOZakQuOsHhCYyrcVcfEK
|
9xi31w
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend hanging out with a guy",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I dont want my girlfriend hanging out with a guy?
|
“Josh” has known my girlfriend since before her and I started dating. They only talked if they ran into each other or snapchat but have never hung out.
Josh has a thing for her. I know this because he wanted to take her out on a date when our relationship was new.
In the past she has made a fuss about me hanging out with a girl in a non romantic scenario and asked me to not be friends with her. I obliged and have no contact with that girl any longer.
Our relationship is otherwise perfect. No issues similar interests and values.
This wasnt a fight either. She asked if it would be okay because she knows how I feel about him and I told her how I felt. She said she wouldnt hang out with him.
I feel like an asshole for saying please don’t. So am I or am I not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
exHC57pOBae5sMEn28ylP2Ibz2eGmPSP
|
axfb6f
|
{
"description": "not wanting my room being taken over",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA If I Don't want my room being taken over?
|
Within the last 2 days, I've ran into a bit of moral conflict. When I got home from school one day, (I'm 15) I was hit with a surprise. A good family friend, let's refer to as FF, came for a visit with my dad. I thought I'd just be a little hello, but I woke up the next morning to see he was still here. Not too bothered by this, as it didn't really affect me. I then got back from school and basketball practice, to my surprise, find he was going to indefinitely be living in my room. Now, I have to move all my shit into the living, which I will now share with my much younger sibling, who I try to take care of, but don't get along with too well. My mom is obviously pissed, and so am I and my brother, but I'm conflicted. I never really knew FF too well, but he always seems like a nice guy, but I'm a teenager. I need my space, which I now have to share on a couch, with my brother, in the middle of the house.
Sorry about post length, it's my first time and I wanted to get this off my chest.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
PXVdQVYBMRbpHrWLKAAHezv4lRhmpsXQ
|
9ytvva
|
{
"description": "requesting a cleaning fee from roommate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for requesting a cleaning fee from roommate
|
TLDR: Roommate leaves a big mess after moving out, forcing me to clean it up. I requested he pay me a cleaning fee since he knew his move out date well in advance. He doesn’t think he left a big mess and is refusing to pay me or even apologize.
I live in a 2 BR / 2 BA apartment, and I suddenly had a room available and needed help with the rent until the end of the lease (2 months remaining). A remote coworker of mine who lived on the other side of the country wanted the chance to live where I do to start a new chapter in life and get a preview of living in a new city... So we decided that having him move in with me might be a good opportunity where both of us could benefit. I get help with rent, and he can move into a furnished room and only have to bring his clothes and personal possessions without the stress of buying furniture, paying deposits, setting up utilities, etc. I was a bit reluctant living with a coworker, but he seemed OK, it was only going to last for a short period of time, and I really needed help with rent.
So he moved in two months ago, usually kept to himself but we were always friendly and cordial with each other. At times, I even took him out to bars, movies, comedy shows, and even introduced him to some of my friends, just so that he felt more at home and welcomed. He’s kind of a messy guy, but he kept it contained to his bedroom and bathroom. Sometimes he left his dirty dishes in the sink or some beer bottles in the common areas, but it was never a big deal. Paid his rent and portion of the utilities on time, and there was never a problem with that.
I noticed that he loves ordering from Amazon Prime… like a lot. About 3 or 4 days of the week had new packages awaiting for him, and he acquired quite a few things in the two months he was here. He also got his meals and groceries delivered too because he doesn’t drive, and he never wanted to go out of his room. When he wasn’t working, he stayed in his room and played games until 4 in the morning. Not a problem, I thought. He is probably just super introverted and would rather stay home.
Fast forward six weeks later, about 2 weeks before the end of the lease. He decided that he doesn’t want to live in this city after all and instead wants to move to another city to live closer to friends and family. Totally cool with me, and I offered to help him with any of the logistics. I asked him several times over the next week and a half about his plans to get his stuff out of the apartment. He reassured me that he would ship some stuff to his next destination, and whatever is left over he’d either sell, give away to neighbors, or just throw away in the dumpster. “Sounds good to me!”, I said. “Just to be clear, I don’t want to keep any of your stuff. Whatever is yours here, I don’t want it, so please do me the favor of just chucking it in the garbage.”
“Yeah, no problem. I’ll do that.”, he told me. We had this conversation several times, and the expectation was very clear: before you move out, move out all of your shit because I don’t want it, and I don’t want to deal with it.
Fast forward about 10 days later, and he’s all packed up and ready to leave. I took him to the airport, we shook hands, and off he goes. I went back to the apartment and his room and bathroom were a disaster. He’s been living like a slob in my apartment for the last two months, and sure enough, a lot of his stuff were still there: unused suitcases, fast food trash, a fucking fishtank, all of his personal hygienic products like soap and shampoo, plus a lot of other random stuff too. His toilet hadn’t been scrubbed ever, and there was a putrid ring of shit baked onto the bowl that made me want to puke. It was so fucking disgusting and I couldn’t believe that a grown man could live like this. How did I never notice this before?
I spent two hours cleaning out all of the shit (figuratively and literally) that he left behind. It took six garbage bags and several trips to the dumpster to get rid of everything, including the fucking fish tank that I specifically asked him to deal with. Don’t worry, the fish tank only ever contained gravel and water, and he never bothered to put fish in it, so no fish were harmed! At this point, I’m fucking disappointed in him and really shocked that he could leave all this stuff behind because he was too lazy to deal with it himself. And to a coworker no less. I texted him to let him know what I found, and he gives me all of the excuses like he ran out of time and didn’t leave too much behind. I called out his bullshit and told him that it actually took me a while to clean up his mess. He’s not even the slightest bit apologetic and doesn’t think it’s a big deal to leave a room in someone’s apartment in worse condition than he found it in.
I demanded that he pay me back for my time and money I spent on cleaning supplies. $100 for a cleaning fee seemed very reasonable to me. And then he starts blowing up and acts like I’m trying to rip him off and gouge him for money. “I didn’t leave that much behind? It wouldn’t have taken me two hours to clean it. I just moved to a new city, and I can’t deal with this right now. You’re making such a big deal out of this man. You’re moving out of the apartment in a few days. Why don’t you just leave it there?”
Am I the asshole here for asking my short term roommate / coworker to pay me for a cleaning fee for dealing withi his stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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