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sKsD9M76m8JhYE8IvZFoHkveIq29RcKV
|
aro4n6
|
{
"description": "\"stealing\" a name",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for "Stealing" a name ?
|
TL;DR will be down at the bottom.
Anyway I was on a video call with my half sister a few days ago. She knows that me and my soon to be husband are TTC (trying to conceive) Baby #2.
She was super excited for me since my previous pregnancy was an awful experience and so was my birth and I feel like with my next pregnancy I will be given a chance to enjoy it much more.
We are about a year and half in and drs have given me medication to help me a bit since nothing is happening.
Anyway I told her we had already picked out names, She begged to know so thinking nothing of it I told her for a boy we picked the name Noah and for a girl we picked Maeve. Out of no where she just flipped a switch (which had never happened before) and started having a go at me for "Stealing" her future sons name .. I was a bit taken back and asked if she was TTC or pregnant and she said No but she has wanted to call her future son Noah for a year now.
I kind of chuckled and said "I am not stealing a name, It's a name so many people are called Noah?"
In the end she hung up on me and hasn't spoken to me in a few days, Well I got a message today from another half sister saying "She's really upset and how could you do this to her why are you being such an asshole?"
The truth is I decided on the name shortly into my first pregnancy with my son and Almost named him Noah but settled on Joseph instead. I decided if I had another son I'd name him noah. (My son is 3 this year)
Not going to lie, this whole situation is amusing to me and I cannot help but laugh. But thought you guys would get a kick out of this.
So AITA for already choosing and "stealing" the name Noah?
TL;DR - Half sister is upset that I chose a name for my future son and Claims she chose it first. Now our other sister Is mad at me also and says I am an asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 31,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
fpBxqQwf3ExqUwVsbmWgAWVsljXeDbqn
|
awryvg
|
{
"description": "asking a question",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking a question?
|
Guys I need help. Am I the asshole and if I am, what can I do to fix this.
And sorry for my spelling.
Back story:
A friend of mine got into a shit show and we said she could come live with us as she had no place to go, and is now living with me, my husband and my 2 daughters. I'm currently on crutches so pretty much useless to the world, because if meds I cannot drive and this person has been my saving grace as much as we have been hers.
Now the story:
This flatmate had written a cleaning plan up as a "this is what we did maybe it will help you" kind of thing last night and placed it on the fridge,
This afternoon I was reading it and noticed there was a "don't spend anything". Now, this flatmate was, as far as I was aware, asleep so naturally I asked my husband to see if he had any idea
Apparently, the way I asked was not the best way to ask and my husband has told me it sounded like I was mocking it. I was a tad offended at the "do not spend" as I've been trying really hard to make shit work money wise, and while it isn't the flatmates ideal, it works.
Anyway, the flatmate was not asleep and heard everything and 5 minutes later stormed into the kitchen, ripped the paper down and stormed off.
I was also making dinner at the time.
Now her dinner hasn't been eaten, she's been in her room and not speaking to me.
Fine what ever.
I apologized via text as I didn't want to desterb her and got no response.
3 hours later I asked if I could enter her room and she said I could. So I went in, asked if I could sit and she said yes, then apologized again.
Shes throwing massive shade and saying I was talking behind her back and that what I did was super hurtful.
So I apologized again and asked her the questions I was asking my husband. She gave short, 1 word answers and so I explained why I was confused and asked for clarity.
She said next time you have a problem say it to my f$(-ing face.
I walked out. I did the best I could. I've now slammed myself into my room and gone to Reddit for help...
So am I the asshole? What can I do? Help!!
Tldr asked husband questions about what flatmate wrote because I thought flatmate was sleeping.
Flatmate was not sleeping and got super passive aggressive. Help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FIJUfgOh00T24QPaDRILw1obqHuMa8cb
|
azhrbt
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for my step son's friend to come on our family vacation",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 52
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay for my step son's friend to come on our family vacation?
|
My husband, me, stepson John (13), my daughter from previous marriage (15) are all supposed to go on a vacation to New Zealand in a month and my step son's friend was supposed to accompany us. John been friends with this other kid Tom since they're 9. They are inseperable and do everything together. John is atheltic but does weird nerdy things with Tom like dungeon dragons and other role playing fantasy games. They spend a lot of money on guide books and just aren't interested in normal things. They both weird out my daughter who's more sociable and a normal teenager and I don't feel comfortable having her around Tom on a vacation. So when I found out that my husband wanted to indulge in those two kids' fantasy vacation in NZ with a Lord of the rings tour I wasn't happy. There isn't much to do in NZ for my daughter, and we'll just be going on boring tours. I was fine with this since they've been planning to go for years before I came into the picture so I knew I had no say.
Now I just found out that Tom's ticket was paid by my husband which I think is wrong. Tom's dad was laid off recently and hasn't worked in over a month. My husband works his ass off at his business and makes good money to provide for us and is being taken advantage off.
Now, I agreed to be a home maker and take care of things and to have a say in finances. My husband assured me that it is our money and we both have a say. So I told Tom's dad that he needs to pay for his kid's trip. He was upset but asked to give him a few weeks to come up with money which I know is a stalling tactic. He kept pleading that it was his son's dream (which WE have to pay for). He said that this is too sudden and is not comfortable dipping into his savings right now. I made a comment saying that he shouldn't be sending his kid on vacations if he can't afford it. This is where it got heated. My husband calls me furious saying that I was out of line and that he already budgeted the trip to include the kid. I told him that I'm part of the decision making and I'm not happy about it. He said if Tom can't go to NZ he will have to cancel the trip since he wanted this to be a shared experience for the boys. We'd only get back about 70% of our trip expense due to cancellation fees (plane, hotel, tours). At least we'd get back a lot of money and we can go to Europe where there is a LOT to do for BOTH our kids.
I put my foot down and said that I have to cancel this today and start booking Euro soon since prices will go up. John is now giving us the silent treatment and says that I'm not fair. He definitely blames my daughter. Try telling a teen girl to go to NZ to see a fantasy movie tour. My husband says he is shocked at my callousness. They're ganging on me making us the bad guy because I'm financially responsible. It's pretty much become two teams now and even though that's the last thing I need for my family shouldn't I put my foot down and look out for my daughter?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 51,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 52
}
|
WRONG
|
jBpTEhm0adXMFyxdeQVTOGSsblG7YnRQ
|
agtnla
|
{
"description": "keeping the parking space to myself",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I keep the parking space to myself?
|
So right now, I have 1 roommate in a 3 bedroom condo in a neighborhood with one assigned parking spot and not that much street parking. If you try to park after around 6pm, all the closer spots are all gone and you have to park about 5 minutes away. Generally not too bad but on cold nights or if your running late to work, it is a shitty walk as there is a big hill to go up and down.
Now my current roommate is a good friend so we've organically started to go back and forth with the spot every two weeks. He'd take it for two weeks, I would take it the next two weeks, and so on. It just sort of worked out very easily. Now he has decided to move out and I am going to have to find a new roommate. While doing so, I have decided to fill the 3rd room in the unit as well so I will have two new roommates. Two strangers to boot.
I was talking to my other friend about this and started to complain that I will have to make up some new system for the two new roommates and me to follow so we can all use the spot. Maybe weekly? Maybe first come first served? He was like no I didn't have to do that. I have been here the longest (about 2 years) and get to set the rules of how the place should work. He says that I should say from the start that I get the assigned spot and they will have to use the street.
Personally, I have never lived in a situation like that but he says he has so that's why I am here. I'm normally the type of person that wants to share everything so keeping the parking spot for myself didn't even occur to me as an option. But oh boy is it tempting. That walk in the cold is BRUTAL and if I can avoid it I would love to. But I also want to start off on the right foot with my new roommates. Help me out here. AITA if I keep the parking space to myself?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ChJnESyXvdwPdg5bZ08ddnumkqNpAdty
|
a901li
|
{
"description": "asking a classmate to pay for a new phone because he broke mine",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I asked a classmate to pay for a new phone because he broke mine?
|
So basically one of my classmates who I have almost no interaction with accidentally knocked my phone out of my hand and it broke. So he’s quite well off and offered to pay for repairs.
So I was quite thankful and sent it to the shop. The shop told me they could repair it but after coming back multiple times to only receive a phone that works for 15min and then not being sensitive again, the shop finally told me they couldn’t repair it.
So being the millennial I am, of course I need a phone. So I told my classmate that I would pay for half the cost of a new phone. (He broke an iPhone 6, the new phone I’m getting is an iPhone 8(I even got the cheapest model) ). But since I barely knew him it felt kind of bad. He was ok with it but I’m sure not all people would be and he might have just done it because he was an acquaintance and not an actual friend. So am I the asshole for asking for him to pay half the cost? or does the price not matter and it’s a matter of principle?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jywajqs9qu21FwyBZKDyZKsTve2ozTxY
|
b22cxm
|
{
"description": "pretending to be an \"appletarian\" (eating only apple derived foods/drinks) for 3 weeks as a prank, causing my friends to have an intervention for me",
"pronormative_score": 942,
"contranormative_score": 406
}
|
AITA for pretending to be an "Appletarian" (eating only apple derived foods/drinks) for 3 weeks as a prank, causing my friends to have an intervention for me?
|
I got the idea a few weeks ago to prank my friends my pretending to be an "Appletarian", meaning somebody who only eats food products that are derived from apples and would only drink apple juice or apple cider.
I told them them all that I had read on the internet that eating only apples was the healthiest thing for you. When I first told them they thought I was joking, but they underestimated how committed I would be to a joke. So, whenever in the presence of one of my friends (or friend-of-friends/coworkers/etc who knew them) I was very careful to only be seen eating apples or drinking apple juice/cider.
Apples whole, apples diced, apple sauce, the inside of an apple pie, baked apples, candy apples with the chocolate shaved off, etc.
Finally after about a week they bought that I had become an Appletarian. They started giving me information about how unhealthy it was to only eat apples, and growing increasingly exasperated by it. Some of them even got angry.
But I wanted to stick with the joke. Finally, after the end of 3 weeks, I walked into what I was told was a movie night but was actually an intervention for me.
They were all super concerned about my well being and had all sorts of information or whatever. Finally I started laughing hysterically. They were confused as hell so I told them I had been faking it the whole time and had been eating real meals outside their knowledge. I even took out some beef jerky from my pant pocket to prove it and munched it.
I thought they'd appreciate the joke but they were actually really annoyed. My girlfriend even broke up with me over this because a few days ago I had ruined our date night when I told the waiter I only wanted apples because I was an Appletarian and had "embarrassed her for a dumb joke".
In my opinion the joke was solid and they should appreciate my commitment to the prank.
But, did I go too far?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 382,
"OTHER": 595,
"EVERYBODY": 24,
"NOBODY": 347,
"INFO": 11
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 942,
"WRONG": 406
}
|
RIGHT
|
Puedw6keifYCqdU45OyId1DkOr1w6fgj
|
arb9fu
|
{
"description": "not involving my wife more in my friend's proposal",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not involving my wife more in my friend's proposal?
|
I've worked with this guy for years, we're good at work friends.
My wife gets along with his GF and they've done a few things together, keep touch on facebook, text, etc.
He wants to propose. I knew something was brewing when he talked about rings, but he had no plans yet. I can keep my mouth shut, although there was nothing to shut it for.
Then yesterday I get a cryptic text "what are you doing tomorrow" - that means some open ended, can you watch the kids type text. I hadn't seen my wife in 2 days she was visiting step-mom and our daughter.
So i'd kind of blown off the idea of kid watching. He got on to play a game online and elaborates - he was going to propose. He insisted on absolute silence, don't tell anybody. Well, at that moment my wife sent me a snapchat. I responded and mentioned this. I knew she'd want to know. Of course she starts talking about things I can't tell him because I'm "not telling anyone" ... I know she's not THAT close to his GF and she can be trusted, but I want him to feel comfortable. The back and forth goes on a few with me in the middle, him hemming at details (GF may be sick, not sure if I'll do it tomorrow) and my wife tossing things around. All the while I'm playing.
In the end it was up in the air.
This AM. 10ish, I get a text "I'm going to ask if you're OK, would noon work?" Uh.. haven't heard from the wife yet (you'll see why) and uh.. ah.. no reason I can't - so I say sure. I send her a text and say "hey, he's looking at noon, if you want to come help with the kids cool, if you want to avoid that, that's OK too"
I knew when I got "whatever" for a response something was way off.
the TL:DR part of THAT conversation was that I "ignored all her suggestions on plans" and I did not call her to say good night - well, we'd said good night about a dozen times at 8 PM and there were no PLANS. Now I'm being told that me, friend and GF can do "our thing" and she doesn't need to be a part of it. That I can do me and she knows how this goes, same old feeling where I don't care about her.
Hard to tell what's bugging her more, her not getting a good night call, me not planning with her.... she is pissed, wants no part of this.
I KNOW I could have paid better attention,but I'm easily distracted. Obviously my relationship is more important, but I was preoccupied on several levels and didn't think I missed anything. I also was trying to be accommodating to everyone.
AITA for not pulling her in more and be much more explicit or is she overreacting?
TL:DR - friend wants to propose, asks for help watching the kids, my lack of paying enough attention/involving my wife enough has now turned it into me and them vs. her and she wants no part of me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2adzeB90UTvPGd6CVA2SiZuPcjW1vg37
|
ab0mr5
|
{
"description": "making a joke to my friends sister about her fracturing my finger",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making a joke to my friends sister about her fracturing my finger?
|
About 4 months ago my sister's friend (N) accidentally dropped a hammer on my finger while I helped them build a shed. N started crying and apologised a lot and her brother/my friend (P) drove me to a hospital (there was no point phoning an ambulance about a sore finger)
I told everyone I knew I fractured it when I fell whilst hiking. Since I didn't want N to be embarrassed. Hell my parents or their parents dont even know(t o my knowledge at least). I also didn't decide to sue since I enjoyed their company and if feel like a dickhead.
And 3 days ago I went to their house to chill (specifically their shed) I started joking with P about the incident. We were there about an hour then N showed up to hang out. As soon as she walked in I said "Look it's the fucking perpetrator herself" and laughed about how my finger feels tingly.
After that remark she burst into tears and ran out of the shed. P said that I had to leave since I upset her.
I'm sure he felt what he did was right but after 3 days of hearing nothing from them I'm assuming I've lost my friend over a dumb joke. I've heard from mutual friends that N is a nervous wreck so I feel like shit about what I've done
TLDR- friends sister broke my finger in an accident and felt sorry, 4 months later i made a joke about the incident, made her cry and got kicked out by my friend
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eFtumDr9HWRmOyWpIg0rikgGPT6O9Y9o
|
av76df
|
{
"description": "telling a homeless man to go crawl in a trash can",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for telling a homeless man to go crawl in a trash can?
|
My girlfriend and I finally accrued enough vacation time from work to go on a trip. We decided upon going to Miami since its winter back home and wanted some sun.
Fast forward a bit and we realized that we forgot sunscreen so we decide to walk to the cvs that is down the road. On our way we passed multiple homeless people simply asking for money. However, the guy that was sitting in the bus stop in front of cvs wasn’t asking for money but instead heckling at people.
As my girlfriend and I passed he decided to call her a c*** out of nowhere. We didn’t even notice him at first until he kept yelling gibberish at us until we finally realized he was in the corner of the bus stop shelter.
The first thing I could think of was to tell him to “crawl back into his home” as I point at the trash can at the corner of the street. My gf was caught by surprise when I said that and thought I should have just let him be. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
zn8xShiQBsTxVrPYsurlrAOvxQG3M5YM
|
ajlw18
|
{
"description": "wanting my wife to cook dinner and clean",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting my wife to cook dinner and clean?
|
I’m 26 my wife is 23. I work about 50-55 hour weeks doing 2 jobs at a factory, desk and stocking soda machines, so she can stay at home and take care of our 11 MO son. I come home and decompress for about 30/45 min before relieving her if mama duties for the night. I feed him, play with him, change him, and put him to sleep every night and all weekend long unless my mom babysits. During this 2 hour or 2 day window I want her to either clean or cook or do something. I don’t do regular cleaning around the home, but neither does she. I do laundry, dishes, trash. And all the difficult things with our son like clip his nails or clean his nose out (cuz he’ll scream bloody murder). I just want her to clean up more often too. She’ll only clean if someone she cares about is coming over. What she does usually the entire time I’m home is watch videos on her phone or streamed on the tv. After the boy is asleep around 9pm I don’t want to do anything to else but rest but the home is a mess and it makes me restless. Tonight I went on a cleaning binge out being sick of it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
KfUUpMIDvKVq0XbXdrdL0223pDmpPQZ9
|
agmczs
|
{
"description": "being jealous of my Sister's Serious Physical Health Problems",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Being Jealous Of My Sister's Serious Physical Health Problems
|
Okay, so, for some background, I (17f) am the oldest of two children. My sister (14f) is a good sister. We argue sometimes, but get along pretty well for the most part.
I deal with some pretty serious mental health issues, including (but not limited to) PTSD, Severe GAD, Depression, and ADHD. These have caused serious turmoil in my house for as long as I can remember. Like, argue until 3 am with my parents, visits to the ER, and leaving the house in the middle of the night. My mental health issues have also caused monetary issues with my family (my parents are very vocal about this), as I see three different mental health professionals for different reasons.
My sister does not struggle with mental health, but she does struggle with her physical health. Three weeks before her 14th birthday, she had to get pretty serious jaw surgery (the recovery was rough, and six months later, her swelling is just now fading). She also has severe scoliosis, which requires her to go to a special center for physical therapy and wear a (very expensive, like $2,000 expensive) back brace.
I have noticed that there has never been any discussion around the expenses of my sister's health issues, and it stirs up some of my serious anxiety. I feel like I am a burden on my family, but I know that in reality, her heath costs are double mine, yet for some reason, I'm the person who has to hear about the costs they cause the family.
I don't resent my sister for getting treated differently. I know that mental health issues can be seriously hard on people surrounding me, but the parental reasoning is that "your sister can't change her health, but you can work to get better", it's really hard to see eye to eye. I feel like my parents are acting unreasonable, and it's obvious that my sister knows and is starting to take advantage of their obliviousness and sympathy.
I haven't really said anything to my family, but AITH for feeling this way, and WIBTA if I chose to say anything?
​
TLDR: my younger sister suffers from serious physical health problems, and I suffer from serious mental health problems, but I'm made to feel guilty for how expensive my problems are, when in reality, they are about half of my younger sister's costs.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
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AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
Wmo3XDgXXsYBjjy4fzqzujMiYWMGf1HG
|
b1p17s
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay full price for my haircut",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay full price for my haircut?
|
Wednesday I called a local salon to set up an appointment. I asked for a full highlight and cut, and asked how much it would be. She said that both the highlight and cut would be $193 and I set up an appointment for later that day.
I get to the salon and my stylists sits me down and says, “ok, so I have you scheduled for just a partial highlight, let’s get started!” I correct her and say I scheduled a full highlight and a cut. She says that the receptionist only scheduled me for a partial highlight and if I wanted to get my hair cut as well, I wouldn’t have time for a full highlight. This annoyed me but I smiled and said it was fine since my hair is already pretty light, not a big deal. I then ask the stylist the price (just so I don’t get swindled). She replies she has to go check with the receptionist because she has the price chart.
She comes back and just starts on my hair without a word, so now I can’t walk out if the price is too high. Ok whatever, I’m sure it’s the same price. Then when she’s almost done putting the product in my hair, she tells me it’s gonna be $223. I say the receptionist told me on the phone that a full highlight and cut was $193. The stylist is NOT happy, responds that my hair took more product than usual because it had been about a year since I’ve highlighted it and when more product is used the prices goes up, but she then says that since I was quoted at $193 she’ll give it to me for $193. I’m happy :)
So I get done with my hair, I love it despite not being able to get the full highlight, and I go up to the receptionist to pay. She hands me a receipt that says $155. I wanted to be honest so I told her that she had quoted me at $193, and I’m pretty sure it’s $193, and I ask her to double check the system. She checks her computer again TWICE, double and triple checked, and she said, “oh I made a mistake earlier, it’s actually $155, how nice!” So I’m pretty stoked, I give a goood tip, and I leave.
Like 20 min later this receptionist frantically calls me to tell me that she had made yet another mistake, and that it actually was supposed to be $193, and I had to come back and pay the difference or give my credit card number over the phone. I told her that I’m super busy and that I couldn’t give her my card number because I was driving and that I’d call her back. At this point I’m SUPER annoyed. This receptionist scheduled me for the wrong styling, and the salon gave me three different prices!
I forgot to call them back. They called me again today asking me to come in, and I told them I’d come in later this week, but I’m thinking about just going in and talking to the owner. I asked this girl to check the price TWICE before I paid, I wasn’t trying to swindle them. It was her mistake, and I don’t want to have to go all the way back there for it when I tried to pay the full amount while I was there!And I being an emotional asshole by not wanting to go back and pay?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YSWXh30LttZRynESpwi2aajEj5RhhB4E
|
airp6e
|
{
"description": "inviting men over to my place and making my ex sleep on the couch",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for inviting men over to my place and making my ex sleep on the couch?
|
So this needs some context. Disclaimer, the guy I’ve been bringing home knows my ex exists and knows he stays at my place but I don’t tell my ex anything.
So the background is that me and my ex were together for 3 years, we have a child together, and overall I think he’s a good guy, he’s intelligent and stable so a month ago we moved out for the very first time to a big city in an apartment. Neither one of us knowing anyone in the city, knowing he’s from Indiana and I was moving from 40 minutes away, it was a dream to be in a city this big.
He works in food. And I get it, the time you come home always varies when you work a full time schedule and you close and work with shitty people. His job sucks and he works 30 minutes away so I try to not say anything to him when he comes home at 2:30 am. But when I would bring it up we would always fight because he has a history of cheating on me in the past multiple times so of course I worry and his argument is always “we just moved, I don’t know anyone here.” But then it kept happening. He’s a recovering alcoholic. About 3 weeks ago he went back to how he use to be in the beginning of our relationship. Every time he stayed out late he’d come home more drunk than the last night and I’d be worried sick about him.
I’m not the obsessive type but I just can’t sleep until he’s home so I’d stay up til 3-4 am sometimes when I work mornings. I started a new job and that was the night he decided to come home at 2:15 am when I had to be up in 5 hours for my first day. It was a big deal. So I looked it up and his work closed at 9. So there’s no reason it’d take that long. I worried so much that I had this horrible pain in my stomach and ran to the bathroom and there was a huge amount of blood. Come to find out I had a miscarriage. So I texted him I was bleeding and in pain and he ignored it and said sorry that his phone was on silent and that he’ll be home soon. That was at 1:35 am so he shows up at 2:15 am. He said he was at a pub and that he was sorry and proceeded to ignore me and stumbled to the bathroom to get in the shower and then broke a shelf trying to get in and tripped and knocked all the shampoo in the bath. We had an argument and like every argument we’ve ever had in the entirety of our relationship it’s me trying to talk to him and then him turning into this person I don’t know. He’s been doing this new thing though where I get mad and his responses are “hm? WHat? I don’t know what you said” so I stormed into the bedroom and told myself I was over it and that to forget about it and go to sleep.
I check Instagram and I’m nosey so I’m always checking to see what my friends are liking and I see he started following a stripper from a stripclub that is 3 minutes down the road from us. So I go back in the front room and confront him and he says it’s not important and that I need to go to bed and I’m the most annoying bitch he’s ever met. So all the nights the past month he’s been at “pubs” he was really at this stripclub. Granted I tried to let it go. He’s 22, he has the right to be there and drink. But going alone to a stripclub let alone talk to a stripper enough to get her instagram is a entire different story to me.
So we fought and he pushed me for “yelling” because he’s the type of person that thinks people are responsible for their emotions which is true to a point.
So fast forward to now. He never apologized or put some light on the topic. I’ve considered myself single every since that day and I’ve been going on dates with this guy. But my ex still lives with me. He comes home and acts like we’re dating and I made it to where I didn’t let him touch me or call me honey anymore and he slept on the couch for about a week before he came home drunk one night and came into my room and threw himself on me. I was really mad but I let him do what he wanted and then we slept together and the next morning I was happy. But I’ve promised myself I’m never going to date him again.
My best friend came over about 3 days ago and she knew everything and she hates my ex now. We were sitting on the couch so my ex does this thing where he’s a smug asshole and says we’re dating and expects things from me. He kept calling me honey in front of her and told me to be safe and have a good day with my other boyfriends and said if I didn’t stop being sassy he’d give me “a finger later”. Guy thinks he’s a total comedian. So he stood and stared at me while me and my friend were putting makeup on (I’m obviously ignoring him because he’s leaving for work and wants something) so he bends down to kiss me and I let him without looking. I’ve told him we’re not dating. And he says we are and he won’t move out so I play his game. I watch movies with him, I let him touch me, I let him do what he wants. But I’ve been going on dates with this guy I really see something with. I haven’t told my ex anything but I really want this guy to stay the night especially because he doesn’t have a tv and there’s some classics I want to watch with him but I’m scared of the outcome. My friends say bring him over and tell my ex to fuck off but they’re in college so I think they’re just being dark about the situation.
Also: the apartment is in my name I think that’s essential.
AITA? There will probably be mixed answers but I expect it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
pk1CnhYeFeW8QtUpWFEbsNfnG83tAf8F
|
9tpg3v
|
{
"description": "saying no to my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying no to my friend?
|
In my English class, we have mini-group discussions called "fishbowls". For our unit, we got in groups of 3 for a total of 6 fishbowls throughout the unit, with the expectation that everybody would do 2 and only one person from each group would be in a given fishbowl. Everybody must do one from fishbowls 1-3 and one from fishbowls 4-6.
​
Great part was that we were given the dates and content of each fishbowl to decide ahead of time and tell our teacher. Only problem was that one of my friends in my group wasn't there, so my other friend sent her a picture of all of the fishbowls and told her to pick first. She saw all the info but didn't give us her answer before the end of class so we chose ours and gave her objectively the easiest fishbowls.
​
Her fishbowl (#2) is on Monday, and I just got a text from her asking to switch with me (I'm #3) b/c "she has a lot of tests and doesn't have enough time to prepare" (her words). i'm iffy about saying no b/c I chose the 3rd fishbowl specifically b/c it was the only one that matched with my schedule and much of my previous preparation would have been used in the contents discussed, but not at all in fishbowl #2.
​
her follow up reasoning was that she was absent and thus didn't have the same picking advantage, so i double checked with her that the other group member sent her the info and then said no to her. i also offered to help her prepare by allowing her to bounce ideas off of me but she left me on read and is now talking shit about me to the other group member
​
so... am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
ivIGwfETDShlC0av8wBrB27vf0y6UwVO
|
af76iu
|
{
"description": "being mad at my gf when she gets hammered the night before our date",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my gf(20) when she gets hammered the night before our date? M26
|
My girlfriend started her second bachelors degree at university last autumn. We met while she studied for her first degree and see each other on weekends and holidays. She is much happier doing this degree, she loves her friends and the course she is doing is a much better fit for her. She told me that even though it’s difficult and stressful she wouldn’t do anything else.
We are in an open relationship and have been for nearly a year now. Its half way through her first year and she’s going to parties, getting drunk, and hanging out with her new friends. I have no problem with this and I’m happy that she has the chance to let her hair down and do all the stupid things I did when I was at university, things which she couldn’t do during her first degree. (It was in dance so a lot more pressure on her physical appearance and health etc., part of the reason she didn’t enjoy it)
Because she has uni work, new friends and we don’t live together we haven’t been able to spend as much time together as we usually do. A few months ago we booked a show for tonight. We were both super excited and because she is a student and I work a reasonably well paid full time job I paid the £160 for the tickets.
I woke up this morning to find a drunk text from her at 4am asking if I can go to hers tomorrow before the gig instead of her coming to mine as agreed because she will be too tired. Am I the asshole for being upset about this? All week she’s been saying how she’s been out every night to bars or drinking with friends which is fine. However I kind of thought that because we had a big night out tonight she would maybe not get wasted the night before. I imagine she is going to be pretty tired and hungover today which won’t make for the best experience at the gig.
Anyway...thoughts? AITA here? I haven’t spoken to her yet, she’s still asleep.
My GF got smashed the night before an expensive date we were supposed to have and is now hungover for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
eRmLjIvQwfwyO9zpm11mvYsigJx88PuH
|
ausm1m
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my fiancé during his deployment",
"pronormative_score": 137,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my fiancé during his deployment?
|
We are both in our early twenties. I have been dating my fiancé (now ex, I guess) for 1.5 years. At first, our relationship was great. I thought I was so lucky to find someone like him. We moved in together after 5 months of dating.
He then became more controlling and posessive. He would do crazy shit like smash my phone against the wall, lock me in the house, flush my birth control, etc. He even became physically abusive, e.g restrain me, choke me, slap me, etc.
I was scared to leave him. But due to my low self esteem I thought he was the best I could do. That is why I accepted his proposal. He basically said “If you dont marry me you’re gonna end up dying alone.”
About 2 weeks later, he got deployed. His deployment is 3 months in length. Currently, we are precisely at the midway point. With him gone, I realized that I was much happier being alone than being with him. I started going out with friends again and having a life outside of work. I felt more happy and live than I had in months.
After a lengthy emotional talk with my family, I decided to break my engagement with my fiancé.
We had been chatting via Skype and messenger for the past month pretty regularly. He gets angry if I don’t text him everyday. The last few days, I haven’t texted him at all.
Then, this evening, I decided to send tje following text:
> Hey. Sorry for not messaging you more this past week. I’m been really busy with work. I’ve also been thinking about us and I must admit I’ve had my doubts about our future together.
>To be honest, I do not think we are right for each other. I’ve been thinking about all the times you’ve disrespected me, treated me like crap, not listening to what I wanted. I don’t need that. Life is too short to stay in a relationship that makes me cry everyday.
>I’m moving my things out of the apartment tomorrow. You don’t have to worry about me, I’ll be fine on my own. I’m sorry if this was sudden. I think you are a great person and I’m sure you’ll meet a woman who you can respect and who can respect you. If you treat her better than you treated me, I’m sure she’ll stay.
>I love you and I will be your friend always,
T
I thought it was a pretty nice, respectful message. But then he responded and went mental, calling me a whore and a liar and threatening to “hunt” me down when he came back.
I told one of my friends about this whole thing and she was shocked that I ended my engagement via text. She said it was a “dick move” and that I should at least call him or break up with him in person. I told her the reasons why I could not do that, but still she said he deserved better and that he’s probably heartbroken right now. She really made me feel like shit.
Am I the asshole here? How could I have made this situation better?
TL;DR: Broke up with abusive fiancé via text while he was thousands of km away. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 136,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ezroWp9gwLBfgBPD4S0h7jiLStSdVQVF
|
auucgs
|
{
"description": "refusing to let a friend stay over for a fortnight",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to let a friend stay over for a fortnight?
|
As background, this is a dear friend who I met at college. He’s much older than I am, he’s around 36. He’s a hippie and doesn’t believe in steady jobs or money or savings, and travels around doing odd jobs and helping out with schools and farms. Recently, he took up projects close to where I live and has been traveling around this area.
He stayed over for 4 days the first time. I was looking forward to it, but I didn’t know it was going to be 4 days. He’s very disorganised, doesn’t book tickets, doesn’t plan ahead. Within a week or two, he came back to stay for 3 days because he needed a stop between two destinations. I wasn’t too comfortable with this. He’s very dependent on people for company and can’t really be by himself, so it got on my nerves a fair bit. I told him that he needed to plan ahead, and that I wasn’t comfortable with having people over that much, because I need many hours in a day to be by myself and recharge.
Recently, he has asked to stay over for an entire fortnight. I flat out refused, because I don’t have the bandwidth for this. He said he’s sick and wants to get out of this project. I’m in a stressful in-between-jobs situation and just want to be left alone, and don’t want to deal with the added stress of a house guest. I said as much. He didn’t take it very well.
AITA for refusing a sick friend shelter?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
63FLl4xmLaeQYc3qVKVRq1BVmGvZoIHb
|
b7pcxi
|
{
"description": "reporting my male classmate to the dean",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for reporting my male classmate to the dean?
|
Context:
I'm a female student who has a male friend, let's call him Ed. I also have a boyfriend who lives overseas whom Ed has met and even got along with when my bf visited me for 2 weeks. During the time that my bf was in town, Ed did not bother me at all and acted civilly.
Me and Ed have the same classes and sit next to one another and do homework together sometimes.
However, some of Ed's behaviors really bother me:
- He touches my legs sometimes (I told him I don't like it)
- He looks at my phone or laptop and makes comments about whatever I'm doing (I also told him I find that intrusive). Or he'll laugh as if I'm looking up something stupid.
- He looks for me around campus when I just wanna study alone without distraction. The last time he did it , he skipped class to find me . He then just towered above me without saying anything, and left. Then he came to my class to make up for the skipped one.
- When I got new shoes, he asked if they're new. I said yes and that they're expensive and I had to save up. Then he grabbed my arm and started repeatedly stepping on them.
I always forgave him but this past Friday all the frustration built up. After our class ended, he tried to snatch my lipstick from me after I was done applying it and I yelled at him "What the fuck?" And he just started mocking me by repeating what the fuck? What the fuck ?" In front of everyone , even louder. I stormed out of class and ran to a bathroom to cry for almost an hour.
After being consoled by my friend I told Ed that I was reporting him. I went to a school counselor and explained the situation. She reported Ed to the Dean of students and said that he will have a talk with Ed.
Ed texted me saying I ruined his day and that it's unfair to him that this will affect his record. I assured him that this is not on the record unless the behavior repeats. He also excused his harassment in text:
- "I never harassed you when I helped you on a test"
- "I grew up isolated and never got accustomed to the same norms as you" ( he grew up in an all male boarding school)
- "yes, there is always something new, but every time you told me you dislike it I stopped". (Not true at all
- "I didn't try to snatch your lipstick, I wanted to see if you changed your lip balm" (gaslighting)
- "Stepping on your shoes was a mistake, I apologized already" (gaslighting, it was not a mistake, but very deliberate)
I responded by saying I am not ready to talk and that I dislike his stalking me.
On Saturday (yesterday) he brought flowers and a note to my house saying " we shouldn't be like this, let's talk when you're ready" . I felt creeped out, especially considering I had told him that I'm not ready to talk and dislike stalking
Reddit, am Am I the Asshole for reporting him? I feel like I overreacted.
What should I do now? We take all classes together.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 38,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
KjEHzPJcdE0RdN2wEMlZUGmt3NV9pdiR
|
b00448
|
{
"description": "not attending close friends surprise party",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For not attending close friends surprise party?
|
I'll call my friend Dave for this story.
We've known each other for half of each other's lives and while I don't think I'm his closest friend, I'd say we're pretty close. His birthday party is coming up, and his parents invited me and some of our mutual friends to join in on a surprise party for him.
The party is on the same day as one of my first games, and we have already had 3 games cancelled dude to bad weather, I really don't want to miss the first one. The party is a long drive away as well. It's about 2 hours away from me, we live nearby but the party takes place far away.
So I'm stuck. I want to be there for him on his 18th, but I also don't want to miss my first game and drive 4 hours total. My original plan was to go and be there for him, then leave early to make the game, but the times conflict.
What I'm going to try an do now is go take him out somewhere nice for his birthday, that way he still has fun at his birthday party, I'm celebrating it on another day, and I get to go to my first game. Is that me being selfish and the asshole though?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
UMre7KWnZlsGzVLxG6ZvX6djo5Qbj75t
|
ayblnf
|
{
"description": "cutting contact with my friend after he came out of the closet",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cutting contact with my friend after he came out of the closet?
|
The title makes it sound worse than it is.
This takes place about 5 years ago. Some friends were talking about this guy recently and it got me thinking about this.
I had a friend, been friends with him for the best part of a decade, probably about 7/8 years.
I’ll start by saying, I knew he was gay, he confided in me, but he was really nervous about coming out publicly and generally. So I kept it to myself.
I have absolutely no problem with people of whatever orientation, so long as you respect my decision if I turn you down I don’t give a shit what consenting adults do with one another.
So my friend tells me he is going to take the plunge and come out publicly. It goes about how I expected it to, his parents were like “We knew that” his other close friends were like “Took you long enough!” And so on.
This is the part where it takes a turn I didn’t expect. Previously, he was a guy who you could hold a conversation with, debate with, disagree with, play video games, have a beer with whatever. A couple of months go by and he becomes a totally different person.
He starts dressing more and more flamboyantly (who cares) he starts putting on “the voice” I don’t wanna start throwing stereotypes around but I’m sure you know what I mean (I still don’t care) but what really got my goat, was that he started using his sexuality as the basis for *everything* and he suddenly started trying to “one-up” everything that was discussed with him.
For example, we were discussing same marriage, which wasn’t legal at the time, I was all for it, I think people should be with who they loved regardless of genders or whatever. He would bizarrely, argue against my point of view.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you couldn’t understand the necessity for same sex marriage **as a gay** I have a much better grasp of the issue”
Right okay, if you say so.
It just got more and more ridiculous after that.
“Ha, they spelt my name wrong at Starbucks”
“They spell mine wrong every time I visit **because I’m gay**”
“Some dick scratched my car!”
“Someone slashed my tires **because I’m gay**”
“Didn’t you get a flat because of some debris in the road? I’m fairly sure I helped you swap that tire?”
“No, it was an attack against me because of my sexuality”
It repeats like this until, honestly, it felt like a chore talking to him. Everything and anything was always worse for him because he was gay.
Eventually I just stopped hanging out with him, he moved away shortly after that to the city and I haven’t spoken to him since.
I feel like I’d have stopped speaking to anyone who constantly had to go one better regardless of what i said, but at the same time was a bit of a dick for not giving him longer to settle into his new life/personality/whatever after coming out?
What do you think reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
x4aYcTs5t8JgXrYCTq5dIjuvukhZJ8oj
|
awydw0
|
{
"description": "hoarding tp",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hoarding tp?
|
Me and my roommate are both very busy college students who live in an apartment. We technically agreed to split all shared supplies 50/50 but it usually doesn't end up that way. We don't have anything in particular assigned, it's a if we need it and you go to the store, get it, kind of basis. He always asks for 50/50, while I usually just buy it even though he has loaded parents, and I pay for stuff with my internship. I don't care about bickering over $3 or tracking receipts, so it's easier for me this way. That doesn't bother me though.
I cook for myself, while he has a dining hall plan, so I go to the store 3-4 times as much as he does. This ends up meaning I buy most supplies, which I don't really mind. We end up running out of stuff quite often, and I'm usually fine with just making due until it's convenient to go to the store next. One of the more awkward things we run out of is toilet paper.
Because this happens on occasion, I have a roll or two tucked in my closet for me and my girlfriend to use, which I take to the bathroom, and then hide again once I'm done, to ensure I always have some. Usually I'll go to the store within a few days and pick up a new pack when I go grocery shopping once or twice a month, but it's not really a high priority for me.
Recently he confronted me about a number of reasons he thinks I'm a bad roommate and how he's frustrated. Almost everything was easy to sort into reasonable and unreasonable things, but for some reason I'm stuck on how he accused me of "purposely allowing the tp to run out, and hoarding some to mock him, as i know it's a big deal for him to not have any" (which I do, I just don't think it's my problem).
I grew up in a household where my mother and sisters constantly bickered with me and each other over the smallest things, so I admittedly tend to ignore what I see as petty arguments, because I don't see purpose to them and don't want to spend a second arguing for no reason, as I spent 17 years doing that. Sometimes this puts me in the wrong though, as I ignore issues that shouldn't be ignored, which is why I'm stuck on this.
He has a car, while I ride the bus to shop. He has funding, while I'm on a tight budget. I feel like I'm doing him a favor by getting stuff more and not charging him for it, and I'm glad to do so.
I really feel like I'm not in the wrong here but there's a little bit of me that keeps nagging that I'm being a jerk for saving that last bit of TP for myself, which makes him so angry.
Sorry for writing a book over something trivial, thanks!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
qojdbTwBh6Tuo43ehYXZNGlncpAWdO0o
|
b2ggb0
|
{
"description": "not wanting my parents to know my location all the time",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I don’t want my parents to know my location all the time?
|
So, today, I get a notification to share my location with my parents from apples location thing. I am 18(F) and live at home still. A bit of background info, I wasn’t the most behaved kid growing up and my patents forced me into online school when I was 15 and I wasn’t ever really allowed to leave the house, unless it was to work when I got a job. It severely impacted my social skills and I never was able to get out or have friends really. Since becoming 18 I do go out a few times a week. I follow my parents rule of being home by a certain time or keeping them updated on when I’m going to be home. I’m never out partying. If anything I hang out with my bf who is a few years older than me,and he makes sure I get home safe. Fuck I’m not even allowed to spend the night with him because I’m “still in school” mind you I’m a straight A honors student and work almost full time. I feel my parents aren’t trusting me on where I am going and feel/ want the need to control and monitor my every move. No one has confronted me about the location thing yet but WIBTA if I told them I don’t want them knowing where I am all the time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q82RMY2e6dcL0Lsvhu8asyHyPXOP6XL7
|
aktt07
|
{
"description": "wanting my serially late sister to turn up on time for me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my serially late sister to turn up on time for me?
|
Lately my sister apologised for making me feel unappreciated and said she was gonna try harder not to upset me. Fast forward to today and we're supposed to be going to a sports practice together. Her attendance is patchy but she knows I really care about it. Like 20 mins before we're supposed to leave I hear her having sex with her gf. When she's done she shouts up to me to ask when we have to leave... even though she's been before and must have some idea of how long it takes. Obviously we end up being late which really bugs me because she knows I enjoy having a chat with the other people before we start.
She's serially late for most things, including her gf, but I feel like 'bad timekeeping' is often just not really caring whether you're late. I feel like I'm allowed to be upset about her always being late, regardless of whether it's her habit, but she insists that it has nothing to do with not appreciating me/putting the effort in and is telling me that I basically just have to put up with it because there's nothing she can do about it.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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asuze9
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{
"description": "no longer helping my friend buy figurines and slightly losing my temper",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for no longer helping my friend buy figurines and slightly losing my temper?
|
My friend and I are both in college, and both like to collect the figurines known as "amiibo" (link [here](https://www.nintendo.com/amiibo/) if you've never heard of these). He is much more into them than I am though (he has about 40-50 last I checked while I have about 10).
We both get monthly allowances from our parents (don't know how much his is or what it's designed for, but mine is for anything not school related, such as eating out, new clothes, etc.) He and I both know that his mom doesn't approve of him constantly buying amiibo, so he has been asking me to do it so his mom doesn't see where he's made purchases on his debit card. Every time I have made a purchase, he has paid me in full the day of, either with cash or Venmo.
However, two days ago, he asked me to make a purchase again, but this time he said my payment would have to wait because he was "broke" and could pay me back later. Because he has a track record of being unreliable, I told him we would have to wait until he could pay me on the day of the purchase, as we had always been doing. (Example: Once near the end of last semester, I asked if he wanted to go for sushi to celebrate. He agreed until I asked if he could contribute to the Uber fare as the restaurant was slightly off campus, at which point he said he was broke).
We were discussing the purchase on the phone at the time, and when he mentioned being broke, I lost my temper and yelled at him to stop spending money on amiibo if he is. He promptly hung up the phone after that. I tried calling him today to apologize, but he didn't pick up and he hasn't called me back.
Did I make the right choice?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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PEw2j5BZkyC0JWsEuH73y4RMFIMGWAsN
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b9gska
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{
"description": "writing 'TRUMP 2024' on our car as an April Fool's joke",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for writing 'TRUMP 2024' on our car as an April Fool's joke?
|
TLDR: On April 1st I wrote 'TRUMP 2024' with my finger in the dust on the back window of my girlfriend's car as we drove around together, someone forcibly stopped us in traffic to wipe it off making my girlfriend cry. I feel bad.
Background
My girlfriend and I live in west Los Angeles, near the Santa Monica area which is famously liberal. It is the prius capital of the world probably, and a good place to see bernie sanders bumper stickers. I don't like trump and put myself in between socialist and libertarian... I'm a Georgist.
THE RUB
We had just eaten breakfast and were going to run some errands around the west side, and in a moment of foolin' I decided to write 'TRUMP 2024" in huge letters in the dust on my girlfriends rear car window. She was embarrassed and laughing and said she had to remove it before we had even left from our parking spot, simultaneous to a person driving by and booing it within minutes of me writing it. I assured her it was a funny April Fool's joke and she, giggling but embarrassed did not press to remove it. Our drive was uneventful until some five miles and 15 minutes had passed.
Just after exiting the freeway a car aggressively sped up in front of us and then stopped, blocking our lane. The driver got out of their car (in the middle of a busy 6-lane street) and walked back mumbling and took the liberty of wiping the politics off of the back of our car. As they walked back to their car I said sorry and april fools out the window .
This was kind of scary, and it was dangerous being stopped in the middle of the street, and upset my girlfriend very much. We had to park and she was sobbing. I tried to comfort her by saying the guy was wrong to do it, probably thought the joke was distasteful and/or didn't get it, and that everything was fine. It was not my immediate response to apologize for putting our lives in danger (though I later expressed this) since I was personally shocked more than anything at the time, not having expected such a dramatic response to my (admittedly distasteful) prank.
I sincerely thought it was just a bad joke, and being in the relatively open minded area of west los angeles, did not think anyone would take the whole thing seriously enough to do anything like that in response. I thought we would get some honks. I was not going to leave the car parked with the message still on there, it was going to last 30 minutes tops.
In retrospect, the subtlety of insinuating Trump deserved a third term in 2024 could easily be missed, or worse, construed as evidence that we were totally psycho Trump dictator maximalists deserving of aggressive "putting in place."
My girlfriend is not talking to me because she says I put us in danger and I knew she was sensitive. I feel awful and silly. I am probably an asshole, but how much of one?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9uga5q
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{
"description": "telling a classmate to shut up",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I told a classmate to shut up
|
Brief Background, I am in college as an engineering major. (Computer engineering to be specific). This issue takes place in math.
​
I am in a class that is pretty hard to understand, and I desperately need to learn the material from the professor because it is hard to learn on my own. During class, there is one student, let's call him Jim, that sits in the front. Jim is convinced that he and the professor are best buds and can complete each other sentences, thus he cuts in every other minute during lecture trying to be the first student to the punch, so to speak. It's extremely annoying and half the time he is wrong. This usually derails the professors train of thought, and makes it difficult to understand the topic because every word could be randomly cut off.
​
It is usually something along the lines of:
​
Professor: If you look at the proof this way, you can use...
​
Jim: (some blah idk)
​
Professor: (Pauses) No, we have to use De Morgans Law for solving this
​
It happens so often, I would say 10-15 times a lecture, and it just annoys me so much. He thinks he is the smartest kid ever and just ruins the lecture. Additionally, when he says stuff that is wrong, the professor has to derail his own lecture to explain why whatever Jim said is wrong, leading to inevitable back-and-forth's between the kid that thinks he knows everything and the FUCKING professor who is TEACHING the class. It makes lectures extremely tangential at times, and counter-productive.
​
Furthermore, the professor has done nothing all semester to address his behavior, even though this is legit some dumb middle schooler shit.
​
My question is: WIBTA for telling him off in any way. He is legitimately interfering with my ability to learn in the class, while also infuriating me and everyone in my class. It just displays a complete lack of self-control and self-awareness.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b7l2om
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{
"description": "not wanting to spend my day off with my nephew",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend my day off with my nephew?
|
Some backstory:
My sister about three years ago was constantly talking about having kids. Mind you, she was a junky and thought that a child would solve all of her problems and make her happy. She probably also lived with a serious mental illness due to genetics (runs in the family) and brain damage sustained from a car wreck. Well, her boyfriend and her were successful and their son, my nephew, was born about 18 months ago.
From the moment she started talking about having a kid, my partner and I were very straight with her and told her to focus on sobriety and getting her shot together first. We were also very clear that if she decided to have a kid, we weren’t gonna be the ones raising the kid.
After still struggling with addiction and being in and out of jail for the past year, she passed from OD about a month or so ago. Every other weekend my mom is supposed to have her grandson, my nephew. Of course the dad is shotty and not the most reliable person so this means the “every other week” plan hasn’t been held up. So even knowing my opportunities to see my nephew are slim, I still don’t want to spend my days off driving 2 hours to sit there and do nothing. Like I said earlier, I have no interests in being around kids or raising any. My mom tries to guilt trip me with the “it takes a village” shit but all that does is make me feel bad for not being an active participant in my nephews life. Additionally, I don’t even really want to see my mother ever because she only hears what she wants to and constantly projects her opinions as reality.
AITA for rather staying home to play video games on my days instead of being an active participant in my nephews life?
TL;DR
Sister was a junky, had a kid, OD’ed, mother tries to guilt trip me into seeing my nephew, I don’t want to and I’ve always been opposed to her ever having kids, don’t want kids of my own. AITA for not wanting to spend my days off traveling two hours to sit there with a 18 month old?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
aufel5
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a Bach party",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a Bach party?
|
My buddy who I don’t talk to that much bc he moved to Connecticut is getting married. The Bach party is 5 hours away. Out of everybody going I’m the only one that’s married and I also have a 1 year old daughter. My wife doesn’t want me to go
And leave them here alone for the weekend, I’m gonna be honest I have no desire to go. They will go to clubs all night, and I rarely drink anymore. Would I be the asshole for not going? How do I go about this? I feel stuck/obligated.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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WCQNNcp0fykxJgENuJKu6O2gBzqjGRkE
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apo8bf
|
{
"description": "getting a present that looks like Marijuana for my Moms birthday",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting a present that looks like Marijuana for my Moms birthday?
|
My brother and I [both 17M] chose to get our mom a present that looks like marijuana. They are chocolate called “kokonuggz”. This is meant to be a joke and something we can laugh about together, but our oldest brother who is college [22M], thinks this is messed up and would make our mom upset. Our mom is very chill and laughs at anything including mean things, so I thought this would be a harmless joke. He later went on to yell at my brother which made him upset and calling both of us terrible sons. Maybe I don’t understand how mean or controversial marijuana is?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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JtpONKNIyENl4Xd2qKlxTA6UIAZXV2mi
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b2ilju
|
{
"description": "calling out a guy for grabbing my friends jacket",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling out a guy for grabbing my friends jacket?
|
So I was at a bar with some friends. We were enjoying ourselves, but not overly so and none of us were more than a little buzzed. We were sitting at a table and my friend across from me had her jacket hanging on the back of her chair.
I see this guy come up, kind of stumbling and looking pretty drunk, and he grabs my friends jacket and starts looking through the pockets. Immediately in my head I am thinking he's trying to get her wallet or phone or something, so I stand up and yell "Excuse me, what the hell do you think you're doing?!?" He immediately backs off and claims he was just looking for his jacket and thought it was his.
1. It's on my friends chair
2. She is a very petite female and her jacket was tight fitting, no way this guy would've fit into it
3. ASK us if you can look at the jacket
I explain these 3 (to me logical points) to him and he absolutely freaks out telling me I am overreacting and to chill the fuck out. He eventually goes away. He later found his jacket (different color and material from my friends) but decides to come wave it in my face and call me a bitch.
I felt I did the right thing trying to defend my friends property. The part that kills me is that my friends agreed with him. None of them were really concerned and said he was just innocently looking for his jacket and that I needed to chill.
Maybe he really was just looking, but I've heard way too many stories of being being robbed, assaulted, etc and being too polite to stop it when they had the chance.
Am I the asshole that overreacted?
TLDR: drunk guy is looking through my friends jacket, claims he was looking for his own when I call him out. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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U9WgpH8gZXVYIYiG63VUd3zYGtIIdQK7
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b8rhd8
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{
"description": "sometimes making my GF bus to work because I am sick of driving her so often",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for sometimes making my GF bus to work because I am sick of driving her so often?
|
So this is a long story. I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 years now and I am the only one with a car or a license. The way I grew up is to be independent and always do things so it doesn't negatively affect others. So I am used to taking the bus and walking places. So when my girlfriend wants me to drive her every day for work I refuse, because I believe she should be independent. However, she always tells me that all her coworkers think I am an asshole because all of their boyfriends pick them up every day. Now a bit of backstory, I own my own company so I am often working from home, so she uses this against me, telling me if I am just at home, what is the big deal of spending 30 mins picking her up. I do pick her up a couple times a week, but I feel like I shouldn't have to be her butler and drive her whenever she wants. If she can take the bus, why should I be expected to drive her everyday? (Also she has no license because she has no money for driver's lessons or time to practice. I have tried to get her to get a license for many years).
AITA? I am getting mixed opinions from friends and don't know what to think.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
wQGP1JaY09tHj0U3RQvmExXaJlq84epV
|
a1mso7
|
{
"description": "judging people on the length of their starbucks order",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for judging people on the length of their Starbucks order?
|
The title really says it all. The longer the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole I think they are. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
i6sfJsuFma8LRDDxNICI1Or6U8peuFUX
|
a9u2z3
|
{
"description": "wanting a little notice before they move in",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting a little notice before they move in?
|
Hey everyone, sorry for the long post but I feel like this situation requires a fair amount of explanation to get the whole picture. Also, obligatory LTL, FTP, and this is a throwaway account because some of my family know my real account. TL;DR at the bottom.
​
So as a little background, my dad has been in and out of work for awhile now, he just can't seem to find the job that's "right" for him so he's had several different jobs over the past few years. He's been out of work for about 2-3 months now despite the fact that he's been networking and sending out resumes like crazy, he's in kind of a niche market so jobs are NOT abundant, and he and my mom have been living with one of my siblings to save money.
Now I love my parents, I really do, so when they mentioned that they might want to move in with me to give my sib some space again, and because I live about 4 hours away in a better area for the jobs he's looking for, I was cool with it even though I just got my own place a couple of months ago (I'd been living with a roommate previously). Again, I really do love my parents and actually our whole family gets along really well, so I had no problem letting them come and stay with me until my dad found another job and he and mom could get their own place again.
Sooooo, a few weeks ago, when they first mentioned the idea of moving in with me, I was told that it wouldn't be until after the new year, probably closer to February or March. Ok, cool. That gives me plenty of time to get my place set up, clear out a space for them, make a basic list of house rules (don't touch my stuff, don't rearrange the furniture, stuff like that), and just do general cleanup. Then yesterday, I travel 4 hours to where my family lives for Christmas and we have a great day until about 2 o'clock when my mom mentions that they'll be up on Friday with the moving truck...What?!?! So...yeah... apparently they made all of the plans, rented a truck, a storage unit, and movers to move them into my place with like 3 days notice.
Needless to say, I was very surprised. They had talked about moving the date up, and even mentioned that they might want to be in with me sooner than they'ed originally planned, maybe even before the end of the year, which is fine, but the last I heard was that nothing had been decided. I'm sure my surprise was obvious when they told me, and I admit to being a little snippy when I found out because not only were they giving me just 3 days notice, but that they'd made all the plans and reserved everything without telling me AND they'd planned to move in on a day when they knew I wouldn't be there because I'll be out of town visiting some friends.
Now I'm an introvert, and my home is my sanctuary, my one safe place where I can just be, and breathe, and not have to worry about dealing with the world or other people; so while I had no problem with my folks moving in, I absolutely wanted to be there, go over house rules, and ensure that my personal space was not invaded on moving day. They seemed kind of irritated when I was surprised and I felt like they were offended and assumed I didn't want them to move in with me (my dad even said that they would cancel the reservations and move in at a different time). I assured them that it was fine, I didn't want them to lose deposits, and I just would have appreciated being included on the planning or at least being given a heads up that they'ed settled on a date.
I left early to drive back and worked until like 1 o'clock this morning to get the house ready then I crashed only to wake up to a text from my mom saying that they'ed canceled all of the reservations and not to worry about them being there so soon, that they were back to a date of February or March. I called and was like: "What the heck mom, I said it was fine and you were welcome any time?!?", and she was like: "Well u/MiddleMiddleChild, you didn't seem like you were prepared or interested in having us live with you so soon, so we've decided to wait and stay where we are for a while". I can tell they felt offended and like I didn't want them with me even though that's not the case. We ended up having a mini argument over the phone and now everything is awkward and irritating and I just feel like my whole Christmas/vacation is shot. AITA?
​
TL;DR: My mom and dad asked to move in with me next year then planned/reserved everything for Friday without mentioning it to me. I was surprised, they were offended and cancelled all of their plans after I stayed up all night getting stuff ready. Argument ensued, now Christmas is ruined. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
9ye8xb
|
{
"description": "ruining my brother's vacation",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ruining my brother's vacation?
|
Context: I moved out of my home country 2 years ago.
My brother (let's call him Jeff) messaged me on Facebook in July. Jeff and his girlfriend Sarah were planning a vacation in my city and needed a place to stay. He asked if they could stay at my place for a week. I politely said no, but Jeff insisted and I continued to decline. He stopped responding eventually.
Then it was last week. Jeff messaged me on Facebook again. He was asking for the address of my apartment. I gave him my address and phone number assuming he wanted to visit me.
Yesterday, I answered a call on my cell phone. "Hello, this is Officer Dave from [country border force] at [airport], is this u/SpecialMinimum?" He asked about Jeff and Sarah. I was confused. In this conversation I answered his questions truthfully: I knew them, I knew they were coming, but they were not staying in my apartment. He thanked me and hung up.
Apparently Jeff and Sarah got sent back. My family is pissed at me. Jeff spent so much money to make his girlfriend happy, but his selfish brother ruined it.
I could have sacrificed my comfort to let them stay in my apartment. I could have offered to help pay for a hotel. I could have lied to the cop that called me. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b26hv4
|
{
"description": "parking next to a car that has a \"Baby on Board\" sign in the Window",
"pronormative_score": 71,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Parking Next To A Car That Has A “Baby On Board” Sign In The Window?
|
Tl;dr at bottom, it got lengthy
So about two years ago I ordered food on my phone from Panera Bread. I parked my car (within the lines) in the Togo parking spot that has a ten minute maximum. The parking lot was really full as it was lunch time and this place is right next to a military base. I go inside, make my drink, grab my bag and head back out. There’s a woman putting in her baby’s car seat in the spot next to mine and she is blocking my way to the driver door so I just stand and wait. After a few moments she hits my car with her door, but hey she’s got her hands full and my car has been through worse so I don’t say anything. She hit it a few times just trying to adjust the car seat and get it buckled correctly. Then she looks up and sees me waiting. She tells me essentially that I am not allowed to park next to her since she has a baby on board sticker and that it’s my fault she hit my door because I should have known that. I told her I didn’t pay attention to her car when I was parking and that she could’ve loaded her car from the other side (which was empty) or she could park farther away if she needs more room (she was directly in front of the door) and that since I’m in the lines and did not exceed my time I did absolutely nothing wrong. In the end she argued a bit, flipped me off and I grumbled “fuck you too, lady”. I’m not sure if she heard me or not. I know it was unnecessary to say that it was just me being angry at how entitled and snotty she was.
I assumed that since the baby was fairly small she was just tired and grumpy overall. So AITA? Do people actually not park next to people who have those signs. I thought those were just for emergency services in case of a crash. It’s been two years and I still think about it whenever I see one.
TL;DL: Lady says I should not of parked next to her because she had a “baby on board” sign and I was blocking her from fully opening her back door even though I was in my lines. We argue a little and she flips me off so I said “fuck you too” AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
9v088t
|
{
"description": "requesting someone else not invite a racist to their own home",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for requesting someone else not invite a racist to their own home?
|
Okay, so to start, my in laws host a “family gathering” at their house about once a month. While I won’t go in to all of the politics behind when they choose the date and who they pick, just know they do it strategically. This month it happens to be the Saturday after my daughters birthday which is when we have thrown her birthday party every year since she was born. Always the Saturday after her birthday.... Anyway, I had been getting along with my in laws reasonably well lately and was approached last month when they planned this and they said they’d love to have the party at their house and they’d pitch in for food and decorations and invite my family and only certain family members on their side as quite a few of them are drama filled, toxic people.
Now less than a week before hand, I find out she’s invited 4 whole families from the extended family I had not agreed on. No heads up or anything, just invited them all. I don’t really have a big problem with most of these people, I stay out of drama and after almost a decade of being a part of this family, they leave me out of it. Now here’s the part where I might be an asshole. One of these families is my father in law’s sister. She has a history of severe depression and doesn’t have much family of her own in the area. She’s a lovely person, she loves my kids, and they love her too. She’s been very depressed lately and so my in laws invited her to the party. I like to keep parties small and wanted just immediate family and wouldn’t normally have invited her, but whatever, that part isn’t the big deal. Here’s what is: her new husband is hugely racist. Uses the N word frequently, says things like “people should keep to their own kind” referring to interracial couples. Reminisces of segregation, thinks only white male land owners should vote, etc. Also is VERY vocal on such issues. Most of my husband family chalks it up to him being “from another generation”. I think that’s utter bullshit and shouldn’t be tolerated from anyone no matter their age. I don’t want him there, ESPECIALLY after my mother in law invited my sibling who is in an interracial marriage and has three young children who shouldn’t be exposed to such hate at their cousins birthday party. I understand this is their house and they have the right to invite who they want. So am I the asshole for insisting he not be there whether or not the aunt will come?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9wpz7s
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{
"description": "getting my mother charged with credit card fraud",
"pronormative_score": 328,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for getting my mother charged with credit card fraud?
|
About 6 months ago my trusty 2001 Corolla was totaled in an accident. I was thinking about getting a different vehicle anyway so it wasn't the end of the world. After insurance finally cut me a check I went car shopping. My husband and I found a good value after a week or so and we decided we'd buy it.
This is when the first red flag hits: we call up our bank to get terms for a car loan and the interest rate is a few percentage points higher than we expected. When we ask why, we are told it's because my credit score is considerably lower than my husband's. I thought that was weird but figured it was because he uses his credit card all the time (and pays it off every month) whereas I almost never use mine.
The second and far bigger red flag came when I got a letter from a different credit card company letting me know my options for "catching up" on my payments. We don't have a card though this company so I called and let them know they were mistaken.
Unfortunately for me, they were not mistaken. There was a credit card in my name with an address to my mother's house. It had a max of $2,000 and a little over $1,000 on the balance and most of the payments over the last two years were at least 30 days late, some were 90 days late. Needless to say I was shocked. The customer service person said if I wished to dispute it directly with them, I would need documentation that I spoke with law enforcement about it.
Long story short, that's exactly what I did after my mother first refused to acknowledge she had a credit card in my name then finally acknowledged it but said she mainly used it only for special occasions. The infuriating thing is that she has the money to pay it off but the late payments completely destroyed my credit down to a 570.
I gave the credit card company a copy of the report and last month I noticed the card was no longer on my account and my credit score jumped 200 points. HURRAY!
Last Thursday, I received a call from my mother, apparently sheriff's deputies had been to her house and informed her she was being charged with credit card fraud. Now she's furious at me and told me that if she had known I was this serious about it she would have just paid it back.
I feel bad now because obviously the rest of the family and her friends are going to find out about this but my husband says I did the right thing. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b1sagn
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{
"description": "not supporting my friend when he was fired for his own negligence",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not supporting my friend when he was fired for his own negligence?
|
Hey r/amitheasshole, it's your boi.
My dilemma is pretty straightforward, but I'm still on the fence.
**Facts:**
My lifelong friend (I'll call him Aaron) is notoriously (and self-admittingly) lazy at work, half assing a lot of the things his boss asks of him.
Aaron sends me a screenshot of an email conversation sent to him from his boss which says something along the lines of "hey HR, please start looking for a replacement for Aaron." The same email/screenshot contains previous grievances about Aaron's work that the boss has forwarded to HR. This email is written like a "heads up Aaron, you're on your way out."
**Dilemma:**
Aaron is a long time friend of mine, but I cannot stand his careless attitude and that he refuses to put in effort to anything. When he comes to me for emotional support on stuff that's obviously his fault I usually bite my tongue and say "that sucks, sorry man." Very rarely do I attempt to put him in his place.
This time I decided to ignore him when he subtly asks for me to take his side on this thing that's really bothering him. AITA?
Thanks redditors.
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not attempting to help an friend enough",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not attempting to help an friend enough
|
I have a friend of 13 years who is like a brother to me let's call him T. T is married and has a 1 year old baby boy. Well T got into trouble about 4 months ago and ended up in jail. With my help in court his charges were dropped and should have been released last week but because he isn't a citizen immigration has him in another jail until further notice. Now these past 4 months I have been constantly in contact with T helping whenever I could. Recently T has been calling me at least 3-5 times daily asking me to spam call his immigration lawyer so that he works faster in getting T out of jail. He calls me while I'm at work and constantly asks for commissary money saying he cant eat the jail food and if I cant get something done for him he finds a way to make me feel absolutely horrible about it.
Now I've been managing everything decently until yesterday when I found out that someone had called CPS on T's wife and they have launched an investigation on her. Now T and T's wife are scared to lose custody of their baby. And are constantly blowing my phone up with calls and asking for help and money. The reason T is scared, is because his wife is severely bipolar and lashes out in a violent manner often. She is also depressed and even attempted ending it all with pills when her son was 2 months old. On top of that T's wife is unemployed and does nothing but lay around and smoke weed all day. Today T's wife wanted me to buy her son a new crib because his old one broke and thinks it will add to the unfit household part of the cps investigation she also wanted me to buy her a detox so that she can pass a drug test requested by CPS, but I said I was horribly busy with work so I couldn't help today (I wasn't busy with work I just needed a day where i didn't have to deal with T or his wife's issues) So AITA if I do little to nothing in helping T and his family in this new problem and also that I believe CPS should take away T's son because I do not trust T's wife?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b4xwzd
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{
"description": "celebrating after beating a team who dedicated the game to a player who had recently passed away",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for celebrating after beating a team who dedicated the game to a player who had recently passed away?
|
My school’s basketball team recently beat another school who lost a player in a car accident. We, along with every other school, offered our condolences to them as soon as we found out what happened. They decided to forfeit some of their games after the incident because they felt they weren’t ready to play after what happened. We were their first opponents after the incident and they decided to dedicate their first game after the tragedy in honor of his memory. My school has not beat this team in 5 years as they are a very good team. We played a really tough game against them but we ended up winning. After we won we ended cheering and celebrating, yelling stuff like “YEAH WE DID IT!” we were all embracing each other after we won. A lot of the other people on the other team were crying after they lost. His girlfriend who was wearing his jersey was sitting in the bleachers crying alongside his family.
Our head coach said we didn’t do anything wrong as they were cheering when they were beating us at the start and they would’ve celebrated had they beaten us. Our assistant coach said that given the circumstances we shouldn’t have celebrated. The response on their side was pretty negative saying that we were disrespectful and should be forced to forfeit the win. One Comment from one of their player’s parents said that these kids were obviously not ready to play yet and would have “whooped our asses any other day.” For context every game we’ve played, the winning team does some sort of celebration be it their school chant, or just embracing. We didn’t mean any disrespect we were just happy to have beaten a tough opponent
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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avnbua
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{
"description": "calling out my friends for driving while high",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling out my friends for driving while high?
|
I was with a few friends today, and one of them asks if anyone else ever drives high. And another one said yeah all the time. The first kid I'm gonna say J, says how he likes to look at all the lights while hes driving, cause it looks cooler when he's high.
I instantly called him out saying both of them are assholes for driving high, and that its stupid and selfish. J and the other friend M, both start saying
Both: "Oh driving high is no big deal I feel the exact same when I'm high just more calm"
Me:"You think youre the same, but your reaction times and awareness are 100% not the same as a sober person"
Them: "It's not driving drunk its just high, it doesnt do anything, you're just being boring, you don't know what it's like so you cant even say."
Me:"I agree, driving drunk is worse. If a man murders someone, and another robs a bank but doesn't kill someone, we still arrest both of them because what they did was wrong, even though the murder is more severe. Thats drunk vs high driving. Once worse but doing either is selfish and stupid."
M:"You're just being a buzzkill I've been smoking since 15, and I know how it affects my body, you're being an asshole, just drop it, even if you're right no one cares."
I told him he is wrong, and that he's an asshole, and can't say hes any better than a drunk driver because he uses the same logic they use to justify their actions, and the conversation ended there.
Am I an asshole for calling them out, I'm 99% sure I'm right that it impairs driving abilities, and it should not be done, but is it possible I'm wrong and just the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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zA9jhAiTMvYlyx0J6BxRxr4G1E6sKa19
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ajkre3
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{
"description": "wanting to cut off my friends for associating with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut off my friends for associating with my ex?
|
AITA for wanting to cut off these two people for being involved with my ex?
Just a warning: this post is long and involves some context.
So there are three contenders in this story. My ex, Jacob, his best friend, Michael and my (former?) best friend Hannah.
Long story short, my ex, Jacob, is a very manipulative and narcissistic person. We dated for two years in high school and broke up senior year. He was very controlling, he gaslighted me, manipulated my image to my family and friends and downplayed my emotions. I attempted suicide when we broke up because I felt like a husk of a person, honestly.
It’s been a little over a year and I have been making strides in recovery. I graduated high school and I’m going to my local university and making new friends.
The only issue I am currently juggling in the back of my mind is Hannah and Michael. Both have been close friends with me since high school and both were very important to me at one point. The conflict that brought me back to thinking about this was my ex visiting me at work.
To start, I met Hannah after I started dating Jacob. She’s pretty and smart, but really shy and private. Immediately, Jacob became infatuated with her and it was clear he had a crush on her. While we were dating, he would compliment her physical appearance to me and make “jokes” about having a threesome with her. She knew all of this too, as she was my best friend. At the time, she expressed disdain for his behavior.
After Jacob and I split, he pursued Hannah and tried to guilt her into going on a date and such. She kept this hidden from me and even let it get in between our friendship! She ignored me for a few months and I had found out that it was because she was “Jacobs best friend”. I tried explaining to her that Jacob only wanted to get into her pants and she refused, saying that they like the same music and he had “never done anything to her”.
Now onto Michael. I’ve known Michael longer than my ex, and we were very close as friends for most of high school. We enjoyed all the same things and had the same sense of humor.
During my suicide attempt, he was very concerned and a listening ear, but ultimately his attitude has been “I know he’s your ex but Jacob isn’t the devil you make him out to be.” So we haven’t been as close since then, and it’s clear he prefers to be around Jacob now.
So I work at a seafood restaurant with my family. I’ve worked here since high school and Jacob and Michael even worked with me at one point. Jacob still worked with us even after our breakup, which my friends and therapist thought was odd of him. My mom refused to fire him and told me to just deal with it. Jacobs mom also told me that she wanted Jacob to keep his job.
Upon graduation, I heard that Jacob enlisted in the military. I was very relieved hearing this, as it meant he would stop visiting me on my shifts. He would come in with Michael and linger around and talk to my family. He knew the days I worked and this didn’t feel coincidental.
Anyway, the night before he left he came in to eat. He came in with a group of friends.
Same story the first night he came back. He came in with a group of friends.
My issues with this is that he only comes in only when I work and he doesn’t even eat seafood. Jacob, Michael and all his friends don’t eat seafood. They all order chicken tenders.
With Jacobs recent, unexpected visit making me and my new bf uncomfortable, I question how Hannah and Michael feel about it.
In my opinion, it was weird of him to step off the plane and waltz into my work with full uniform and a smile. He didn’t go see his family first, he came HERE first. I have a new boyfriend and Jacob wouldn’t stop looking at him.
Hannah says it was weird of him to visit and that he’s been hitting her up the week leading up. This threw me off a bit because she told me he was a crappy person and that she felt sorry for what happened. Why would you allow someone like that to continue contact with you?
I haven’t talked to Michael about it. He’s not accountable, but I think it’s odd to let your friend do that and go along with it.
My therapist believes that Jacob is manipulating them as well, and that I should lend an ear to them to hear their side.
I’ve heard Hannah’s side and she was initially unwilling to let go of their friendship, which is fine. She later switched to being on my “side” and criticizing his behavior. But with this new event, she hides that she still keeps him in her contacts? I get a feeling she just enjoys attention from him, as she’s never had a boyfriend.
While my therapist and others and even my family encourage me to continue being friends with Hannah and Michael, it’s too exhausting. I feel like my suicide attempt was real and how Jacob treated me was real, but Michael and Hannah don’t see it as impactful as I did.
Am I the asshole for wanting nothing to do with them anymore?
(Am willing to provide more information, answer any questions, etc. also if this is an inappropriate subreddit, please let me know!)
TLDR: my ex was abusive and I attempted suicide upon our break up. My friend Hannah badmouths him when we’re together but continues being his friend when I’m not there. My friend Michael is still his friend and goes along with his odd behavior post break up.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b13e3m
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{
"description": "telling my mom to be more quiet in the morning",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA if I told my mom to be more quiet in the morning?
|
Im a freshman in college and I chose to go to community college because of financial issues. I live with my parents because community colleges don’t have dorms. I don’t have really have a choice to move out because of my financial situation, and I’m grateful I get to save money by living with my parents.
However, my mom is very loud in the morning. I don’t have class until 9:30am, but every day I am awake by 7:30 because of the noise.
A majority of the mornings, my mom starts laundry (laundry is right next to my room) vacuums the house, and today she even got out the leaf blower.
This routine starts at 7:30, and I usually just lay in bed because I cannot fall back asleep due to more noise.
WIBTA if I asked her to wait until I left to do her chores? On the days she does this, she doesn’t have to work the whole day, so she stays home anyways. I really just want to sleep, but I don’t want her to think I’m being ungrateful for the roof over my head.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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ayg1kd
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{
"description": "trying to make my father and step mum break up",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for trying to make my father and step mum break up?
|
She hates me i swear. She always makes comments about me, if we go to shopping she will tell me things like you are fat or ugly. I really hate her, also she is racist towards white people, my mother is white my father is a turkish, she is an arab. she always says that white people are devils even though she lives in europe. She acts as if she is an angle in front of my father but she is mean to me whenever he isnt around. She always says that my skin is sick, i am whiter than both of them like my mother, my father and that idiots skin is a different light skin, she says our skin is healthy but yours is sick, she says thats why your mother died. because of her skin, my mother died when i was 10. Thats how she used to talk to me in the first years, not anymore, i wish she will, i will just record her saying that stuff.
​
She has a son, he is 17, i am 15 and my father and she share a baby now, she is 1 years old.
​
So what i did is, my step bro was going to a party, he took permission from her and i asked her too, she said no but i had already recorded her when she said ''just go, stop asking me, you can go'' she actually meant you can go the supermarkt (a different day/time).
​
So i followed my step bro, the party was kind of awful, smoking and you know a lot of bad stuff. I called my dad and cried a lot (fake crying), i told him that i am scared and that i shouldnt have came here, please come and take me. i told him that this guys are bad, smoking and doing stuff. you know my father was really so worried and shocked, after all i am his daughter. then in the car i told him that she said that i can go and that she actually wanted me to leave her alone because she didnt want to see me and a lot of stuff. i also made him listen to the recorder.
​
When we got home he was mad and furious. he asked her why she gave me permission to go to such a party. they had a fight but then he was also mad at me as if i have done something.
​
:( maybe he realized that it was just lies? or maybe he loves her more than me and believes her more than me?
​
AITA? like did i do something wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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nFLvfGw6W7uv9vuqYkB5Nzqy7XmvnBzm
|
aduyfg
|
{
"description": "being tired of my spouse's depression and identity crisis",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being tired of my spouse's depression and identity crisis?
|
To preface, we have been together for awhile. Within the last year, I gave birth and experienced extreme post partum depression. It was hard but I took care of both of our children and could tell he was drifting away. He didn't want to engage with me or the children.
I became so paranoid I snooped through his emails, and found one where he confessed to wanting to transition to female. I was two months out of giving birth, an emotional wreck and I tried to take all of my antidepressants. I ended up in a psych hospital and also got a diagnosis of PTSD from sexual trauma at a young age.
We got through it, I came home. I started using a different name for her, we got her makeup and different clothes. She seemed better for a bit, but we were financially strapped and could not afford health insurance. So hormone transitioning was out of the question.
SO started growing distant again soon after, buried themselves in video gamed and got angry at me when I asked them to spend more time with us, or completely shut down. We had a fight while they were at work and she threatened to walk in front of traffic. The cops were called, a wellness check was done, and they gave her resources to go to therapy.
Meanwhile, I had to cut back on my work hours as I'm having health tests done to check for arthritis and other inflammation, as I'm in a shit ton of pain. It's been hard on both of us. I've been trying to keep things stable and okay. I'm also trying to care for her.
Lately, everything I say, there's something wrong with. She's moody and angry at me, and doesn't talk or communicate with me. I have been having a really rough time, but have been effectively ignoring it to try and mend things with her.
And then she gets fired for too many tardies and absences. Not rrally her fault, as most of the time she was tardy was because of our autistic daughter and having to take her to school. But it's a shitshow. We don't have the money for bills and I'm desperately applying everywhere to find better pay.
She's just given up. She'll barely get up in the morning, we're late all the time. Our daughter has missed school because she drags her feet, and I keep begging her to get into therapy but I'm tired. It's beeen this way since I gave birth. The most restful period I had was literally a week in a mental health facility.
Am I the Asshole? What could I do to help?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b67jm5
|
{
"description": "telling my friend she is making things harder than they need to be",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my friend she is making things harder than they need to be?
|
I'm not a good student, I know this about myself, I scrape by. My friend is a very dedicated student. She takes hard classes, is a double major, and is upset with anything below an A on her work. She'd usually spend a few more hours doing homework than I would, and was usually the best student in class. We lived together for a few years before I got married and moved away. However, we still talk frequently and hang out online as we're both gamers. The problem is that because of her schoolwork, we hang out once or twice a month.
​
I understand school is important to her. She picked a hard field and has been selected for a couple of great opportunities such as being a lab assistant and a few internships. I'm really happy she's enjoying her university life and doing what she wants to do. My problem is with her time management. She often talks about how busy she is and how she has no time to hang out or talk. However she often goes out of the way to make her work take longer than it needs to. For example:
​
1) She often does homework while watching tv. Even if we had the same assignment, she would still take 2 hours more to do it for the same grade, because she'd get distracted.
​
2) Opting into extra assignments she doesn't need or want. She had 2 internships and then signed up for 2 more, when she was already stressing.
​
3) When writing a paper with a set limit, She will write over the limit and then spend the next few DAYS cutting it down to the required length. When I say 'over the limit' I'm talking writing 13 pages on a 2 page assignment.
​
\#3 is what our most recent disagreement was about. I understand everyone has their own method, and I know people write over the limit and then edit it to the length it needs to be. But writing THAT much more is insane. I asked her why bother writing it that way if it was just making more work for her for no benefit, and she freaked out and started yelling at me saying that shes sick of people calling her a "tryhard" and that this is just the way she does it.
​
I got irritated that she was snapping at me when I wasn't trying to attack her. I told her that if that's how she wants to do it, fine. No one can tell her how to get her shit done. But also don't complain about being overwhelmed when a 2 hr paper is instead taking you 3 days because "that's how you've always done it".
​
I know we see school work differently and I don't know if I'm just an asshole, or if she's being unreasonable and is going out of her way to make things difficult for herself and then expecting her friends to listen to her complain about the work she made, all while not spending time with us or talking to any of us more than a few times a month. I love her and shes my best friend, and at this point it's something I've accepted will be part of our relationship. I'm just wondering...AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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0uZnZIu7eaxFlP658SuAaxaBsFgL868G
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b7xpir
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{
"description": "not wanting to celebrate my therapist's birthday",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to celebrate my therapist's birthday?
|
I'm in group therapy, and it is the lead therapist's (who is also my personal therapist) birthday coming up in a few weeks. Everyone in the group is making plans to celebrate. I don't feel like helping, I feel uncomfortable acting like my therapist is my friend. I'm ok with saying happy birthday and signing cards, but this is far beyond that. It feels especially weird since we don't celebrate anyone else's birthday as part of the group.
AITA for not wanting to help with plans / participate? Am I just being lazy / selfish?
|
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"description": "jay walking and ignoring a bystander yelling at me",
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Aita for jay walking and ignoring a bystander yelling at me.
|
I was running cross country one day and I came to this intersection I had gone through many times. There is crosswalks there but no stoplight so our whole team crosses via jaywalking. I get there just as my team crosses and I hurry and as I am about to cross this lady starts yelling at me saying there is a cross walk and I should use it. I ignore her and jaywalk anyone Aita if I have done this many times and our coach does it as well
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "getting upset that my friend choose another friend over me to hang for their birthday",
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|
AITA for getting upset that my friend choose another friend over me to hang for their birthday.
|
One of my best friends celebrated their birthday this weekend. Last week she invited me to spend it with her and her boyfriend and a few mutual friends. I did not know who said friends were until Friday. It was a group i didn’t see eye to eye with. I knew that they didn’t want to hang with me and probably threatened not to hang if i were to show up.
Come the day of her birthday she doesn’t text me any plans. When i eventually text her she gets dodgey with answering questions about these plans
When she finally started to budge and imply i could hang i felt like she didn’t mean it so i sent a petty text saying “this just sounds like bad vibes I’m not coming”
Idk how to continue and if i am allowed to be mad on her birthday.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "telling my friends I never took their doubts of me getting into Ivy League seriously",
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|
AITA for telling my friends I never took their doubts of me getting into Ivy League seriously?
|
I (18M) found out in these last few weeks that I got into an Ivy League college, I was over the moon of course...
But everyone doubted me. My parents said I couldn't do it. My teachers said I couldn't. Most of all, my friends also said it. They said that its so hard that I should look at applying elsewhere.
Now someone people motivate themselves by wanting to prove all their doubters wrong, but I had a different philosophy. I just didn't take their doubts of me seriously. Whenever people made comments, I just treated it as if they were the opinions of a fly.
I knew where I wanted to go, and I would let nothing stop me.
So when my friends initially found out that I got in they congratulated me. We met up recently though and one of them asked me ''How did you do it?? Nobody really thought you stood a chance'' so I just told him ''Honestly, when you guys doubted me, I just didn't take you seriously''. They looked pretty offended when I said that and one of them text me after said I was being an asshole by saying shit like that.
But it's true??? That's how i felt. I never took my parents, teachers or friends seriously when they doubted me, because I only saw my own reality, that I would succeed. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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"description": "choosing to step out of a toxic friendship",
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AITA for choosing to step out of a toxic friendship?
|
So there’s a bit of long context here which I feel is important, so bear with me.
My husband is in the military and while we were stationed in Japan we became great friends with a woman we’ll call R. R is also enlisted and dated a mutual friend for a while, and while they had a bit of an ugly breakup we stayed friends with both parties because we feel that whatever happens between them, baring any kind of abuse, shouldn’t affect our friendships with either. A little over a two years pass and we get a wedding invitation from R and we’re happy for her, but there’s some lingering concerns because she marrying a guy she’s only been dating for 2 months...
Fast forward a year later, my husband gets stationed near R and we meet to catch up since we haven’t seen her in 2 years. Since we just moved to the area, we don’t have our own place yet and staying at a hotel while we try to find an apartment is draining our finances quick, so R happily agrees to let me and our 3 pets (2 cats and our 5lb dog) stay with her and her husband while my husband stays with another friend until we find a place. I didn’t find out until the night I came to stay she didn’t at least ask her husband, just sprung it on him, but despite the awkward introduction her husband, T, turns out to be a really cool guy and we bond over video games and other mutual pop culture stuff.
While I’m staying with them, I cook and clean up after myself, buy my own groceries, and basically do my best to not disrupt their daily lives; we only have one car that my husband obviously needs to get to and from work, so I’m pretty much housebound in a new town where the only people I know are R and T and spend my free time filling out apartment applications and playing video games.
Finally, after nearly 2 months, we get approved for a place perfectly in our budget and have a move-in date. Two weeks before I left, suddenly R’s skeletons come tumbling out of the closet.
During my stay, R and T got into a lot of petty fights over seemingly nothing, with R always instigating due to her having a short temper and it always made me super uncomfortable that they would do this in front of me almost every time. It had gotten to the point I was looking into staying with a friend nearly 5 hours away, worried that maybe my staying there was putting any stress on them, but when R found out she wanted to sit down and talk about it, asking what she could do to help me feel more comfortable. I was honest with her about my concerns, how I felt that she and T needed to work in their communication together and she needed to reign in her temper. Since they were already seeing a marriage counselor who had told her the same thing, she agreed with me and apologized and things were okay for a while after that, even T insisting they enjoyed my company and help around the house. R occasionally came to me for advice and I was always honest with her but did my best to word things gently so she wouldn’t feel like I was shouldering all the blame on her; at this point in our friendship I already knew she had some issues from childhood trauma that affected her behaviors and how she dealt with situations, and encouraged her to continue seeing their marriage counselor and to consider a personal one for herself.
I had also noticed during my stay that she drank a lot of wine, even on nights she worked early the next day. Now I enjoy a glass or two myself, but it was concerning to me that she would drink nearly a whole bottle every other night and apparently had a few stashed upstairs that she laughingly said T didn’t know about, which was another red flag. One night when I tried to tell her I was worried, especially because she was taking medication at the time, she snapped at me and didn’t speak to me the rest of the night. T served her with divorce papers the next morning.
R left two days later on a sort of deployment for a month, and I discovered through T’s sister (who had visited for Thanksgiving that I had cooked for everyone) that R had complained to her that I was “an overweight, lazy couch potato with no motivation” and it hurt me pretty deeply. I have clinical depression and have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 12, things R has known since we became friends, so for her to have allegedly said those things cut to my core. Rather than confront her, I chose to temporarily block her on social media, my reasoning being she was going through a divorce and clearly had a lot of her own issues to work on and I didn’t want her to feel attacked, deciding I’d rather talk about it in person so there wouldn’t be any misunderstanding over text, but that turned out to be the wrong decision as she almost immediately lashed out at my husband, telling him I was being petty and had no right to be angry with her. My husband gently diffused the situation, emphasizing that I was simply hurt by the accusation and for her to simply focus on herself and that we would get together when she got back.
But soon I had evidence via screenshots she’d said these things more than once to multiple people; mutual friends, one of T’s other family members, coworkers, even going so far as to tell them I was “a bisexual in a poly marriage” and to “not be surprised if she flirts with you.” Admittedly that may not seem like a big deal to some, but in the military atmosphere people can get in trouble for what would be considered adultery, and I never disclose my sexuality or open marriage to people I don’t feel comfortable with, so having complete strangers know these things made me extremely uncomfortable and worried about how it could potentially affect my husband’s career if someone took it to his command; most don’t care, but it’s not something I’m comfortable gambling with.
At that point I had decided I was done, that I didn’t want to talk to her about it because she’d repeatedly tried to blame everyone else around her rather than just owning up and apologizing, but yesterday my husband received a message from R that said, “Is Catsocks done being mad at me for something I didn’t even do?”
Something about that wording just feels so dismissive of my feelings, but am I really the asshole for stepping away from this friendship?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "letting my wife wear a pair of boxers that weren't actually mine",
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|
AITA for letting my wife wear a pair of boxers that weren’t actually mine?
|
My wife has a pair of boxers she wears of mine that are her favorite. They’re made of really soft material and she adopted them while we were dating, and even held on to them while we broke up for a short while.
The problem is they weren’t ever mine. They were a girls that I hooked up with. She slept in them and then left them over at my place in college and I was just too lazy to give them back. I never told my wife because I didn’t really see the harm in it.
Fast toward 5 years...My wife found out last night and blew up. It ruined our whole night. I’ll admit I’ve done some things in our past that were rather scummy, but this didn’t seem like a big deal.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "getting pretty mad at my boyfriend for hitting me",
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|
AITA for getting pretty mad at my boyfriend for hitting me (lightly)?
|
So, title might be misleading. But here’s the backstory.
So my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling and he loves to be a fake-asshole when we do to get on my nerves and push my buttons. He said something disrespectful about my mom (as a joke) and i lightly smacked him. lightly. he decided to slap me back, which it wasn’t hard but it for sure wasn’t as light as my hit which was supposed to be fake and “playful” if you will. I got really angry, told him that it was fake and i didn’t really hit him, so why did he feel it was okay to slap me back? it hurt a little bit. instead of being remorseful he argued back at me, saying whatever i do to him he can do to me. it got really heated and i’m still kind of mad. but i don’t know if it’s justified, because he hit me without the intent to hurt me.
So, Reddit, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "calling my GF \"cringey?\"",
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|
AITA for calling my GF "cringey?"
|
So about two days ago, I was in my GF's dorm room, and we were just talking, half watching a show. She shows me a video of a mutual friend doing a backflip on Instagram, and says "Look at this boy, he's going to go and get his neck broken" but in a pretty southern-grandma-sounding way. Granted, she's from Mississippi, but doesn't have your stereotypical southern drawl at all. Upon hearing that, I burst into laughter and say "Why are you so cringey?"
She immediately gets defensive and is asking me why I would say that, what I mean specifically, etc etc. I do my best to explain that I thought she sounded like an overly concerned grandma, and coming from a 20 year old college girl that is a little bit cringe. This isn't the first time I've teased her either. It's something we both do and a normal part of our relationship. But now she's really upset with me and has been pouting and making comments about this incident for the last two days. She wants me to take back what I said, but I refuse because I still think what I said was true. I have apologized for crossing the line but I had to make it clear that, objectively, what she said was cringey.
AITA here?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "ghosting tinder chicks",
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|
AITA for ghosting tinder chicks?
|
I'm posting this on behalf of my friend James.
Jimmy and Porshia met/started dating in 2012. Their relationship progressed quickly: they moved in together within a couple of months and got engaged shortly thereafter. All seemed well until Jimmy discovered that Porshia had cheated on him with multiple guys for pretty much the entirety of their relationship. They tried to reconcile, but due to further developments, split up permanently a few months later.
To provide some further background, all of Jimmy's serious relationships have ended due to his girlfriends cheating on him.
Since the breakup Jimmy has been very active on Tinder. He seems to match with girls who want more than he does. Jimmy just wants roots, he will say whatever is necessary to obtain them, and then ghosts the girl afterwards. Whenever I call him out he is pretty apathetic, he offers no defense and says that he just doesn't care about their feelings.
Although he won't admit it entirety, I believe that he is getting revenge on women. Is he TA?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "not wanting to go to my cousins concert",
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|
AITA for not wanting to go to my cousins concert?
|
First time poster and on mobile so honestly just sorry in advance... for anything.
Anyways, this story took place a couple of months ago but just popped back into my brain after I saw my cousins Snapchat post advertising his next concert.
My cousin is a sound cloud rapper who is in a group of rappers in the same area as him. Keep in mind I love the guy and I fully support him and his career choice. He’s not super big or anything but definitely has a fan base. He has had multiple concerts before which me and my brother have attended. My aunt (cousins mom) usually sends us a link to where we can buy tickets and gives us all the info, she’s great and supports him as well.
So I heard he was having another concert and my and my brother immediately went to the site we were sent and bought tickets. It was at a new venue which was about a 25-30 minute drive, no biggie. We then made the mistake of not checking the date and going with what my aunt sent us which was the wrong date.
We obviously didn’t find out it was the wrong date until we had drove 30 minutes and no one showed up. My brother is very social and skipped out on friends to come and he was pissed. We went home and decided we wouldn’t go to the concert which was actually a week later.
My aunt found out we weren’t going and got angry as we had “rsvp’d” in a way. We then explained the situation again as we had already briefly explained a week prior and she said that was no excuse and it is only a 30 minute drive. She then called us unsupportive even though she didn’t attend any concerts herself, she just advertised it.
So you nice, maybe not so nice, people of reddit. Am I the Asshole for not wanting to drive 30 minutes to attend a concert I had pretty much already attended?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "asking for the money I lent back",
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|
AITA for asking for the money I lent back
|
I know the tittle isn't the best so let me elaborate I am 17 and for my birthday my dad and my uncle pitched in so me and my brother could buy somethings. They gave us each $200 and I wanted to buy a cheap laptop with mine so I could start making music which has always been an interest of mine.
Also let me just say that I've been looking for a job but have had no luck so I wanted to do music as a nice medium to help pay for bills and my own needs until I get hired.
The day we got it my mom asked for money to send to my grandma who lives in a different country to help with Christmas stuff since $400 is a lot there so me and my brother lent her our $400 and she said she would pay us back in a week.
So at this point I'm ok with it and what not but a week passes and I hear nothing on the money I ask what happened then she says my sister got robbed so she needs the money she was gonna give me to help her get her information back since they took her purse so I said ok I'm not gonna be mean when it come to my sister getting robbed.
She promises to pay me back the week after I say ok and then hear nothing so I ask again and she says my sister was gonna give the money but she never got paid so now I'm getting annoyed it's been almost a month at this point and I'm getting annoyed.
Ik she has 3 jobs and I haven't seen my stepdad help with bills so I'd assume it's partially his fault we're not good financially.
Today I asked again and she went on a rant on how god is gonna punish me for pressuring her on the money that she doesn't have even though last week her and my stepdad got matching tattoo worth about $50-$100 each and all I asked for was my money to buy a cheap computer which I think if she can spend half that on tattoos she can pay me back at least half of mine so I can save it and then give the other half whenever she has it I even asked for $90 today and for a slow payment of 50 every week, I even told her I'd take 25 if she has it.
TLDR
For those who couldn't be bothered basically I let my mom borrow my birthday money to help my grandma and she said she'd pay me back in a week but it's been a month and I've seen none of it
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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"description": "not wanting him to befriend all my friends",
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AITA for not wanting him to befriend all my friends?
|
My FWB of 7 months recently told me that he grew apart from his friends and that the only person he hangs out with regularly is me. This came as a bit of a surprise because he is very sociable and I thought he had many casual friends. We text almost every day, chill out at least once a week (not just Netflix and chill) and eat together at school sometimes. He wants to meet and befriend all my school friends. I'm glad he wants to make friends but... can't he make some of his own? One of them actually makes more sense than the others because they share a class, but besides that it's kind of weird that he wants to befriend all my friends all of a sudden.
He wants one of my friends to join us on our weekly activity and it just feels weird to me. I get it, I'm probably jealous but I know I shouldn't be cause all these girls have reasons why they can't even be with him (one is only 17, one has a boyfriend, the other is 95% gay). For context, he's 24M, I'm 19F, my friends are between 17 and 20 (male and female, but he only seems to want to befriend the female ones). The thing that bothers me most is that he was at one point convinced that there was something going on between me and his best friend and he told me 1) that he was jealous and 2) that I should leave him for him... and now this? I know he wouldn't like it at all if I decided I wanted to hang out with his friends one on one. In fact once his best friend invited me over so we could game just the 3 of us and he said he felt uncomfortable with it. I feel really conflicted about this situation and was hoping you guys could help me with that.
I don't want to control who my friends are friends with so if THEY want to be his friend, who am I to get between that? But all those double standards are making me hella uncomfortable. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "being upset with my friend that she ruined a movie",
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|
AITA for being upset with my friend that she ruined a movie?
|
As a disclaimer, this did not happen recently but when I was in 8th grade so it’s more of a “Was I the asshole.” I’m just posting this because despite it only being a past memory, I am curious as to what you guys think or would’ve thought if I had discovers this sub four years ago.
So when I was in grade 8 I went to a birthday-sleepover party where all my close friends (of the time) were also. My one friend (who was 14) is not a fan of horror films and the movie we ended up watching was more so a thriller but basically a horror film, my friend doesn’t make a fuss and watched the movie in her sleeping bag like everyone else did.
We were about half way through the movie, by this point maybe a jump scare or creepy bit happened but I was a little bored so I was doing my own thing on my phone. I’m watching the movie again, but notice my friend isn’t in her sleeping bag, no big deal she probably just went to the bathroom. After a couple more minutes my friend is back in the basement, only she brought the host’s mom with her and she told us how [friend] was scared and that we had to turn the movie off.
I was indifferent about it, albeit agreed with the others in being annoyed with my friend from getting the movie shut down. No one was really mad at her per se, just frustrated that she went straight to the parents without letting any of us know, because as far as we knew she was fine and we thought if she at some point didn’t like what she was watching that she would go I her phone.
Since this happened so long ago and was not a huge deal, I’d be okay with being the asshole. I personally think my friend made it a little about her, but that’s up for discussion.
So, was I the/an asshole?
TL;DR: couple years ago was at a birthday party, friend got scared while watching horror movie, went to the parents without telling anyone, and ultimately got the movie turned off and everyone got pissed at her.
Also probably not the case, but if anyone was wondering the movie was 2009’s “The Uninvited”
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"description": "wanting to skip out on my fathers wedding",
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|
AITA for wanting to skip out on my fathers wedding?
|
My dad and I have had a very rocky relationship for the past few years of my life. While he lived with my mom he was very aggressive and would often beat her to prove a point. This happened until my mom finally had the courage to kick him out. I've lived with my dad for 6 months with his new wife "they married after 1 year of being in a relationship" I was kicked out after I accused her of stealing my 80$ I had for a school trip. I returned to living with my mom after that. From that point on I would only stay with him on weekends.
Back in May I became a victim of my dad's violence. While I was at his apartment I had a mixup between his and mine Xbox and took the wrong one. When he came to my mom's house he shoved the Xbox into my chest . I took it to the top of the stairs and placed it next to the couch. I went back down the stairs only to be met with his anger. He began throwing insulting me and my mom for a few minutes. I had enough and told him to get out as I slammed the door. Bad move. He kicked the door back in and began to place me in a choke hold on the ground. I managed to flip myself over and kick him in the jaw. My dad got furious and began scratching and punching me at full force. While he had me on the ground he told me that he would have no problem ending my life right there. It took the neighbors and my mom to make him get off my body. We called the police and cps began and investigation. Like usual they returned with nothing and allowed him have custody over me. In September he "apologized for his actions". I didn't buy a single word of it. I felt like he was trying to set me up.
Last weekend while I'm over there I find out he's getting married on December 1st. I then find out that I'm the best man. My question now is AITA for not wanting to go to his wedding because of his past actions.
(Sorry for my many grammatical errors. I wrote this while being half asleep)
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "telling my wife and son, to leave me out of buying his next car",
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|
AITA For telling my wife and son, to leave me out of buying his next car?
|
First some background, I am a Disabled Vet with PTSD that manifests as anger, that is how I came by my handle.
My son who is in his young 20s, had his 1st car accident last week. Ever since the accident, my wife and son have been taking the word of the insurance people over me. Case in point, I told them to request a mobile adjuster to come to the house, so we have positive control of the vehicle until we sign it over to them, did they listen, no it is sitting in the lot of a local body shop. We got word that they totaled the truck last night, now my son and Wife want to me go to the body shop (because my son works during their business hours) and pull all the Stereo Equipment that my son and I installed for Christmas. When I asked my son if he remembers what all tools, we needed to get the stuff out, he said no. When I said, that if the truck was still here, he could do it when he got off work, and I would not have to drag half my installers tool box with me and work in the cold, I was called an Ass.
The final straw, was when we were going over vehicles for sale, and came across an ad for a 2013 New Beetle. He said we should sue them for false advertising. When I asked why, he said because the 2019 model is the new beetle. I told him that it was VW that calls that body style the new beetle, to which he wanted to argue with me. When I spun my laptop around to show him where Wikipedia shows every beetle made since 1998 was classified as a new beetle, I was called an ass and he walked away.
After I calmed down, I decided that maybe, since they where not listening to me, I would just remove my self from the situation. Besides, they have asked my dad (who knows several people in the used car business) to help, this would be another stressor (not bad one, but one none the less), so I know they are in good hands. When I told my wife this, this morning, she said I needed to get a grip, that my son is going through something and I was just being an ass because I was not getting my way.
So Reddit, I know I can be an ass but, am I an Ass(hole) for wanting to remove myself from a situation that I see is full of PTSD triggers?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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e7tPzi0GSbpkMKfFVIFH9giE7nkQWemd
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b2680s
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{
"description": "not wanting my roommate to act like my mom, even though I don't pay rent",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 14
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|
AITA for not wanting my roommate to act like my mom, even though I don't pay rent
|
I got accepted into my dream school in another state. But my family was too poor to afford residence, and I was totally okay with going to a school in my city. But, my mom has a family friend who agreed to let me stay with her, RENT-FREE.
She's been kind of like a "motherly" figure to me in a way, while I'm away from my actual mom. She's 31, but looks way younger. I am grateful to stay with her rent free, and grateful to stay with her period. She's that bitch.
I don't have a specified "curfew" but honestly I hav no business being out in NYC at 2am in the morning. It stresses us both out if I'm out too late, so I always come home around midnightish. She told me that she'd prefer if I was home by then, and I respected that. But it wasn't like a "rule".
I told her that I was going to the library overnight to study for midterms. But I was actually going to a club for St paddy's, and I just got a fake. I didn't want her to know because I didn't want to deal with her lecturing me, and it's honestly not her business what I do on weekends. I don't even drink. I just wanted to have fun with some friends. Midterms are stressful and I miss my family so bad.
Long story short, I ended up bumping into her at the same club. She was beyond pissed off at me for being there and lying to her about. I would have understood her being upset that I lied (it's not very mature), but then she lit into me about being 18 in a new state and how I was being "dumb". Then she told ME WE WERE GOING HOME. But I wasn't shitfaced or anything. I didn't hookup with anybody. I was totally sober and taking care of my drunk ass friends.
I told her that she wasn't my mom and she couldn't tell me what to do. She told me that I was lucky that she didn't call my mom. I was over it, and took a separate uber home and told her to stay.
She says that I'm still her "responsibility" and that if I'm living under her roof, rent free, I need to respect her "rules". But why is she upset that I'm going out to a club? Lots of 18 year olds go out clubbing? Some of my friends were still 17 at the start of the semester and they were clubbing. I just feel like, because I am an adult. She should treat me like one. Calling my mom on me? That's childish.
**BUT THE GAG IS**
I have a sister who's 25 and visited NYC last year. THEY WENT CLUBBING TOGETHER. So she can club with my older sister and get fucked up. But I can't? The only thing that's her saving grace is that it isn't legal yet for me to go clubbing and drink.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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pCME0JTlpxrLTdMtv6NVeo4A0D9RsMjM
|
axkrli
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{
"description": "being jelous of my bff",
"pronormative_score": 0,
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|
AITA for being jelous of my bff?
|
~ first off sorry for the grammatical errors ~
Im 14 at the moment and me and my bff are in the same class. We are completely different but still somehow matched. The story got a start last year at the beginning of a school year, I was totally cool with her hanging out with others and that's not really the problem but after Christmas a stuck up boy " the class celebrity " started saying mean comments about me. Almost everyone was trying to be his friend but I never have a shit about him. Even my bff was starting to buy him whit food.
She usually just said No you can't get any food from me (we used to share n stuff like a bit from me bit from hers) and she just started throwing me off. Next moment I see her give the hole pack to the stuck up ass. I didnt get it at all, was someone who is a total arase acnologement better than actually caring for your "Bff"?
He does not even friend you unless you're under his armpit.
I started getting jelous as you can guess.
A few weeks go by and this boy starts saying rude stuff behind me for example I'm a whore and that I wear clothes from my dad's old closet. (I don't and if I did they would be comfy as hell) wich I then just laughed off. She was the one to tell me what he did and I was pissed since I knew she laughed at it. She never stood up for me anyway. And today was just worse.
The first class started with a birthday boy being announced and we wrote in the card for him. Since j was before the "bully" I didn't see what he wrote. After the class had ended NO ONE SAID THERE WAS A MEAN COMMENT ABOUT ME! He had written im a slut on the card and I felt so bad. My bff again completely NORMALY said that he had written that. ( I was never in his way )
My best friend... is stucking up to a guy who is calling me Like that... she went to a trip and promised to bring me something(I wasn't expecting much) and she comes back with a kitty keychain (it was cute okay but defiantly something you don't bother to find) and to this boy she just brings a ton of candy? (You guessed it I was jelous) she made me feel like she brought it to me out of pity and because I'm her "bff" not because she cared."
I have started to become cold to her slowly and I feel like she wouldn't even care if I wanted to stop talking to her. (Considering I was litteraly bullied today next to her and she was silent) I chose to talk about changing schools. She litteraly is leaving me behind and not inviting me anymore.
Over a long time I won't cry if I'm being abused in any way more over I just feel like cutting my heart out. (Not just the mean comments) and what hurts me the most is like she is pretending it's all okay.
::: Aita for being jelous and mad over my bff for sticking up for my "Bully?"
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b96h2c
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{
"description": "being upset with my roommate",
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|
AITA For Being Upset With My Roommate
|
(Throw Away because he would recognize my main)
I (20 M) live with two other (20 M both). My one roommate, I'll call him James, and I have been noticing that the other roommate, Randy, has been getting more angry recently. A little background, we are all friends and share a room. So basically, Randy has always been moody, but recently it's been more frequently and more noticeable. In the beginning of the year, James got really sick and had a bad cough. Every time he would cough, Randy would let out an annoyed sigh. At first we thought it was just a coincidence, but after it kept happening, we realized it wasn't. We are in a group message and I sent a Reddit post that I found interesting. James and I responded back and forth and every time Randy's phone vibrated, he let out a sigh. His phone usually isn't on vibrate and we didn't think of it as a big deal.
Whenever we go out, or have plans, we all have a set time to leave. James and I are ready at the time we specified, but Randy is always ready 10-30 minutes later than the set time. He gets angry if we stand up to leave, or say we are going to leave because we have work to do. Randy will get angry and say we have all day to do our work, even when James and I have to work. If Randy feels rushed he will get noticeably angry and just refuse to talk to us.
One example, we had a set time to go out to dinner and James and I were ready at the time we planned on leaving. Randy said he would be ready in a second after he finished his game. We said alright and let him play a bit, but James and I were talking with our shoes and coats on ready to leave. Randy got upset and said he would be a while. James and I looked at the game he was playing, and it was an offline game that could easily be saved and ended. After waiting 5-10 minutes for him I said something along the lines of "dude you can pause the game, we won't be gone for too long" and he got very upset and refused to talk to us the entire way to restaurant.
So Reddit, are we the assholes for getting annoyed by this?
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HISTORICAL
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ari1uk
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{
"description": "abandoning my sick mother in order to go to college",
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|
AITA for abandoning my sick mother in order to go to college?
|
I've never posted before, so I'm sorry if I've formatted anything wrong. This might be a long post because a lot of backstory is required, but I just got into an argument with my brother over this, and I'd like to know your opinion of the situation.
​
I am currently a freshman at a college across the country from my hometown. When I was a junior in high school, my mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness. This disease includes the loss of use and control of limbs and basically all bodily functions, so it is a truly cruel way to die. In my opinion, it's one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. My mom only had about a three-year prognosis when she was diagnosed, so I am pretty sure she is going to pass away before I graduate from college.
​
When my mom was diagnosed, my brother immediately transferred from the college he went to (which was about a 3-4 hour drive away from home) to go to the local college in order to help my dad take care of my mom as she lost the use of her limbs. I also helped out up until I left for school. When I was applying for college, my brother immediately told me that it was my duty to go to the local college and live at home to help the family. I was really conflicted, but, after my mom and dad told me to apply and go to the best school I could get into in order to get out of my extremely small, rural town and state, I decided to apply to a school I love across the country.
​
I ended up getting into said school, which is literally across the country (like a 20 hour drive or a 5 hour flight) from my home, and, with my mom's encouragement, decided to go to the school and only see my family for holidays and the summer. My brother wasn't happy, but just last night he called me and we got into a huge argument about it. He called me a bitch and an asshole for abandoning my mom and dad and the needs of my family for my own personal gain, and he told me that I needed to put my education on pause to care for my mom.
​
Now, if my mom had asked me to stay home and go to the local college I would have done it, without a doubt. Instead, she told me to go so that I could get the best education and, in her words, make something for myself, which I wouldn't be able to do if I stayed home. But with my brother telling me how selfish I am for leaving home in the midst of my mom's illness, I don't know if I made the right decision by leaving home. So, am I the asshole?
​
There's a lot more to this story, and I've changed a few things and left a few things out so people I know don't think this is me, so if I have to update in the future I can.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b1x9hh
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{
"description": "talking to my sweetheart about considering attending my college",
"pronormative_score": 3,
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|
WIBTA for talking to my sweetheart about considering attending my college?
|
So there's a lot of aspects to this, I'll try and cover them all. TL;DR at the end.
The reason I call her my sweetheart is because we haven't yet committed to a full relationship. I don't think either one of us is mature enough to handle a long-distance, but we've been talking over text and phone a lot. Both of us have broken out the L-word, so I have reason to believe it's a good chance this might develop further. I really, really enjoy talking to her.
She and I were in the same classes through middle school to the end of high school, so we know each other very well. In my final year of high school, I think she might have been romantically interested in me, but I had college applications and exams (we have those here, I don't know where else) so I never pursued the possibility. She's also way out of my league, so I always assumed wishful thinking too.
I came to college in August, and she took a year off to prepare better. We got to talking in January, and discovered a lot of the relationship stuff shortly after. However we've decided to halt progress for now because of her imminent applications and exams, which are in May/June.
So my (engineering) college offers a program that's tailored specifically for her field (biology), and I have jokingly mentioned it to her a few times. She dismissed it on account of low future prospects and high college fees, but I have a few doubts about that. I did some research (because I'm insecure like that) and talked to people in my college enrolled in the course, and found a lot of paths that the course opens. She's also financially better off than me, so I found the fees issue strange at first, but I later reasoned that it's dependent on a number of factors I know very little about. However, I still think she hasn't thought this through as a viable career path and is dismissive of it. I won't deny that I have a selfish interest in this.
TL;DR: She and I are engaged in a relationship in all but name, and she will be choosing a college these coming months. I'd like her to apply to a course in my college, but she doesn't want to on account of low prospects and high fees. After legitimate research, I found that she's grossly underestimating the prospects, and I'd like her to rethink this conclusion. I won't deny that I have a selfish interest in this.
Now, I respect this woman in every way and stand by every decision she makes, so I will have no issues if she chooses to reject my suggestion after being aware of the facts. All I want to do is make her aware of them. She probably won't change her mind, but I'd still like to try.
So, Reddit. WIBTA for talking to her about this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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a6npst
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{
"description": "not making a bigger deal over my wife's graduation than a friend's graduation I attended years ago",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not making a bigger deal over my wife’s graduation than a friend’s graduation I attended years ago?
|
My wife graduated college last week, and I am supremely proud of her. I told her so, and showered her with praise, love, and encouragement that she’ll do well in her graduate program and in the job market. I took her to the next city over last weekend and we went to Panera to celebrate. It was meant as a day trip to do something fun to celebrate. We’ve been struggling lately and I’d bought her roses the week before, so instead of repeating that I decided to try to be sweet and take her to a restaurant I know she likes.
She told me tonight that she’s upset because a couple of years ago before I’d met my wife, I went to a female friend’s graduation who lived in a different state and brought her flowers for her graduation. She’s upset because she feels like the way we celebrated makes her feel, in her words, undervalued. I told her that while I understand her feelings, I feel like she’s being rude and ungrateful for comparing the two situations. I sincerely tried to be sweet and loving and celebrate with her, and I feel like it’s not her place to complain that I didn’t do more.
So be honest with me. Is she ungrateful, or AITA?
Screenshot of her explaining her feelings:
http://imgur.com/Sd099tV
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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qPyaUNgWCPwbEAc5arIzMCpdCA9xQyEZ
|
b3vgoi
|
{
"description": "asking about people's fitness habits in order to collect data for my statistics class",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking about people's fitness habits in order to collect data for my statistics class?
|
I'm currently taking a statistics class, which requires me to collect data by asking X amount of people a question that can be responded to with a numerical answer.
Since beginning the class, I've used Instagram and Facebook as a platform to ask my questions, with really good results. People have been quick to respond and I gather my data fairly quickly.
I keep the questions really impersonal, like "How many cars have you owned in your life time?"
My recent project requires me to ask 2 questions and see if there's a correlation between the data.
I wanted to keep it in my interest so chose to ask how often people purchased a prepared lunch at work or school in a week and how often they exercised in a week. For the purpose of this I specifically defined exercise as 15+ minutes of a physical activity that is done for the sole purpose of improving your health or well being. I kept the bar pretty low in hopes it would get more people to participate.
I really hesitated asking this in fear that I would get accused of being fatphobic or of being insensitive, but felt that if people wanted to respond they would, and if they didn't they wouldn't.
I got a few responses that kind of made second guess myself. Like someone prefacing their answer with "this is sad but..." And someone posting the classic admiral ackbar meme "it's a trap!".
So AITA or am I just over thinking this?
I did realize that most people who don't exercise will probably not respond due to social shame, so I did reword the question so it's geared towards only people who do exercise, but I still feel weird.
Tl;Dr AITA for asking people how often they exercise, on social media, in order to collect data for my stats class.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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DJ0jC27IGgVtZEPoofQ4ZG07n9RylXPX
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al0w7v
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{
"description": "abandoning my family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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}
|
AITA for abandoning my family?
|
I want to start this out by saying I never had a dad to be there for me. I learned that life is not fair after my sister hated me and my mother never cared for me.
When I was 16, my sister moved out of the house at 18 to go to college, and I was stuck at my house with my mother. I was constantly depressed and my mother did not care about me. So I was basically living alone so I needed to get a job to support myself. I learned to not rely on anyone and that affected me in my adulthood.
As soon as I got enough money from my part time jobs, I bought an apartment in a far away city. I was hoping I was going to be able to get a life now.
I got a wife and a child and moved into a bigger house. Then all the sudden my mom calls me. She asked me to visit her because she missed me. Keep in mind I have not seen her in years. I told her to fuck off and I wanted her out of my life. I cut every single bit of contact with her and my sister because she was not there for me.
My only question is am I in the right for doing this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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67gK4qm8Dojaifdcix0T8DKKxgAmdbry
|
b47086
|
{
"description": "not going to a fertility consultation with my sister",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for not going to a fertility consultation with my sister?
|
I haven't decided what to do here yet, and I feel like anything I do that is not outright fully supporting her in this endeavor will really upset her.
So my sister has three boys (two from a previous relationship and an infant son with her current husband), and also three stepdaughters her husband brought into the relationship. She always had said that she just wanted to have one baby that was theirs, but has not really been able to get past her gender disappointment that that one baby was, in fact, another boy.
She has always wanted a daughter. Becoming a bonus mom to three girls did not satisfy that desire. Another baby wasn't what she wanted, she wanted a daughter. So she has decided that she wants to have yet another baby but isn't willing to leave it up to chance this time--she has decided she wants to go the IVF route in order to select the sex of this next baby. She is not even remotely willing to consider that this not an entirely rational plan (let alone ethical). She is entirely unwilling to adopt because she wants to ensure she "knows the baby's history" and has what seems to be excessive concerns about behavior issues coming from an adoptive situation.
She's asked me to come along to the consultation with whatever fertility doctor she's found to help her out with his plan because she's concerned that her husband would not pay enough attention or help her ask the right questions/retain the information given. I...am not sure that I am on board with this. I love her and will love a niece regardless of how she came into the family, but I really feel like this is not the right way to accomplish this goal of "getting her girl".
She and her husband definitely do have substantial financial means to comfortably raise an additional child and also to fund whatever method she would pursue here. She had a pretty traumatic pregnancy and delivery with her most recent baby, right before that one they had a loss that was a girl (which she never really properly processed or grieved), and does not seem willing to believe that IVF is not just this simple thing you do once/that she might have a difficult time finding a doctor willing to go this route with her to begin with.
So...would I be the asshole if I wasn't all-in-fully-present with my support for my sister while she tries to find a way to have a biological daughter?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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sxzE0LbfbTr4JIvuffFA9McNe7xRttXR
|
b33u9t
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{
"description": "not wanting to play games with my friend because he's bad",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to play games with my friend because he's bad?
|
I know playing games are supposed to be fun first and foremost, but I can't really enjoy games like apex legends and fortnite since we are constantly losing. I'm never the type to get angry and yell or anything but it is starting to bother me. He constantly gets zero kills and all the wins I get with him he's not alive and I have to clutch the game. I always try to give him tips and advice, but nothing really matters. When he dies he constantly says things like the game doesn't make sense or it was impossible to kill the person. Yet he still does want to play these types of games with me. We play co-op games too which is much better but AITA for not wanting to play most PvP games with him even though he's a good friend?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
4FqNPxfccSwTIR1fKHOxds5tVJGqGfwU
|
9uxds7
|
{
"description": "thinking that the mutants in the x-men universe should probably all be killed",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for thinking that the mutants in the X-Men universe should probably all be killed?
|
They’re basically walking nukes. I don’t care if they can’t help it, they are too dangerous to exist.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
DBmLV255PkJ1urKLdkFYFN3LStQNqqkJ
|
avz6b5
|
{
"description": "suggesting an alternative name for a team t-shirt",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for suggesting an alternative name for a team t-shirt
|
A few weeks ago my parents visited my husband and I in Florida. My father-in-law and his girlfriend, who lives in the same city as us, are very athletic. My FIL and his GF had planned to do a 5K that same weekend and extended an invite to my husband and my parents. To my surprise, my very unathletic parents said yes.
The GF had plans to get everyone a matching hat or something fun to wear. When I told my mlm about this she immediately decided that she would design and buy everyone a t-shirt. She wanted to back to have a mash-up my my parent's last name and my husband's last name. I told her that I didn't think we should do this as GF might feel excluded. There are no immediate plans for GF to marry FIL. My mom begrudgingly changed the shirt to something generic.
Weeks later and my mom is still upset about how I put GF's feelings over her own. She even brought it up tonight after I had confronted her about something mean she had said to me.
I just can't get get out of my perspective on this one. Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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WxKpFvUFsQaIqgOnLucVlUx8qGnRyf1y
|
af9zyu
|
{
"description": "getting my co-workers in trouble",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting my co-workers in trouble?
|
I work as a host at an arena during sporting events. In our club, which caters to hog paying clients, there are hosts and food services staff members. We essentially work together but have completely different managers.
As a host, I’m responsible for who comes in our club. We have been instructed that if people do not the have he correct ticket then they aren’t allowed to be there. Simple.
Ever since the season started, the servers have, on occasion, brought family and friends to eat in this space. (I should mention that dinner for one night costs nearly $80). At first I assumed they had some sort of agreement with their side of management and I didn’t think too much of it. They were so cavalier when it came to bringing them in I just assumed it was okay. It’s also my first year and wasn’t sure what the protocol was for previous years. Many of them have been doing this job for years and I wrongly assumed they were going by the book.
A few nights ago one of the servers approached me and said her husband was coming and asked if we could write his name on the list. Still thinking it wasn’t really that big of an issue, we wrote his name down. Later that night our manager came down to our club. He looked at the list, as he usually does, and asked who this person was that we had written down. We told him and he immediately asks if they have the proper ticket. Of course they don’t, so he continues to grill us on why they are there. We try to explain that the servers told us that it’s okay...
He tells us that it’s 100% not okay and asked me to send him a detailed description of the situation so he could send that email to the other members of management. Which I did.
He later responded to my email and said that he had spoken to the food services manager and the staff was reminded about the policy.
Fast forward two days. We are all at work and one of the food services employees approaches me and says he has a bone to pick with me. He continues to question what I did and says that I’ve ruined the relationship between the hosts and servers. I told him that I wasn’t willing to put my job on the line for them and risk my reputation by turning a blind eye. He said “nobody would’ve ever known..” (which isn’t true. My manager looks at the list each night and asks us questions about the guests that came in).
So now they’re mad with us because they can no longer do something they knew they shouldn’t be doing. I apparently broke an unwritten rule and should’ve kept my mouth shut, even though this could’ve been something that could get me fired.
AITA?
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"description": "being upset that my dad goes on a lot of business trips",
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AITA for being upset that my dad goes on a lot of business trips?
|
My parents both go on a lot of business trips, especially my dad but my mom does too. At this point he goes at least once a week on average, probably more. Plus the fact that I’m at my mom’s half the time, I don’t get to spend a lot of time with him. I know it brings in money for us, and I don’t want to seem like a brat because living in NYC is really expensive, I’m really grateful for him.
Recently both of my parents were on a trip at once, and I was staying with my stepmom and I heard the song Cat’s in the Cradle, and it made me kind of sad, I’m upset that he’s gone so often. Am I being selfish?
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"description": "becoming upset and wanting to physically leave with my child every single time my in laws (parent in law and siblings in law) come over unannounced and take over our quality time",
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AITA for becoming upset and wanting to physically leave with my child every single time my in laws (parent in law and siblings in law) come over unannounced and take over our quality time?
|
Let me preface this by saying I have upmost respect for everyone in this post. We're generally one happy family.
To begin, I made the mistake of moving relatively close to in laws. They promised privacy and basically stomped all over that promise for years. Husband wouldn't stop it. My child comes along and it became exponentially worse. This was meant to be a short term move.
3 MINOR examples:
-had a newborn and couldn't get any rest because in laws would constantly knock on my door everyday for a visit ( at least 10 times per day), or for something as silly as "saying hi". No call. Nothing.
-certain people who constantly visit in laws somehow manage to walk over to our family home for a visit. No call. No notice. Nothing.
-i spend 1 month in a local hospital when bub was 8 months, of which in laws hardly acknowledged but they spent the whole month with baby at my house. Only 1 person visited / contacted.
Now that bub is growing , I want to spend lots of time teaching them about the world, but here's the kicker, siblings in law find any excuse to drive to our neighbourhood on the pretense of "visiting parents " (who are unfortunately sick) and will basically take over a significant portion of my family's weekend. Every weekend. And they're super loud!!
Even if SIL kids are around, they are still close enough that my child will hear them, and I've basically lost their attention bc they just want to play with the other kids. Essentially, between work and these constant visits, I have zero quality family time. For privacy, I have to physically leave the house and that's unfair.
Husband doesn't see an issue at all, he's turning a blind eye because it's his family and it's driving a massive wedge between us. For 6 years i have asked for him to lay privacy boundaries and I'm finally contemplating separation. He won't attend counselling, I've asked for years.
Note 1: hubby is an amazing husband and father, he does defend himself by honing in on my so-called personality weaknesses.
Note 2: My aim isn't to cut anybody out at all, but I want to reduce the frequency of the impingement to regain family time because these are a child's formative years and I'm losing time.
All I want is for us to have more quality family time and notice of these visits. AITA?
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"description": "suggesting a teacher shouldn't receive free legal aid",
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AITA for suggesting a teacher shouldn't receive free legal aid?
|
I work at a legal assistance office, an entity that provides free legal care for people that can't afford it, and have an immediate need for some sort of action or consult. We have very objective (specially financial) parameters that define whether one fits into the definition of "requiring assistance". It's voluntary work and we deal mostly with people that have their financial and social needs barely - or not at all - satisfied.
So, come today, in comes a guy in his apparent 30's.
Nothing stands out about him, and his situation is rather interesting - for legal nerds, in comments.
As we spoke, some eyebrows began to raise. He was a very highly educated man, with a masters in microbiology (pretty much the right guy for the job), and a teacher. Unfortunally, grossly underpayed teachers are not a complete rarity in my country, and he stated he was completely supporting his mother who lived with him. And the free public higher edu is a partial reality here.
Those parameters do take into consideration higher income people who support others, like family. It's not the point to exclude whomever, but to guide the service (that we already cannot provide to all that need) to those in most dire need.
In the end of the conversation regarding his case, as we were lining up what we were going to do, we started asking the regular questions like: "do you have your tax declarations from the last years?" "can you bring us your bank statements?" *and his answers were reaaaally shady*.
We're used to dealing with very poor people. People that don't have bank accounts, that have never made a tax statement in their lives, some that can barely afford to take the bus to the office. We do our absolute best within our capacity to be the smallest strain possible on those people, because, bottom line, **they really fucking need it**. But this guy starts saying things like "but my older tax statements have bigger salaries" and "i have large ammounts (70k ish!!!) in investments". This was a biig no no for me. Last week we were discussing a lady whose home lot was being invaded by her neighbor and she couln't afford to raise a small fence between their lots. This guy has thousands in money stored?!
**We do not turn away people who had money, and became impoverished**. But *HAD* is the defining word in that sentence. In the past! Regardless of him supporting his (small) immediate family, to me he has absolutely left our criteria. He's brought us a paycheck from a job that would clearly put him inside that financial criteria, but that doens't seem to be relevant, considering he still has those large reserves.
He's returning next week bringing the documents we asked, his bank statements, etc, proof of his financial situation.
​
So, AITA for recommending our supervisor that he doen't get aid, and we move on to other cases?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not letting him re-do our basement based on his history of not finishing anything",
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WIBTA the asshole for not letting him re-do our basement based on his history of not finishing anything?
|
My husband and I have an agreement about large expenses, that if one doesn’t agree we don’t do/buy it.
My husband has a really bad habit of not finishing projects. Our garage is literally filled with half finished wood working project and an entire freaking car that he bought to restore and just gave up on.
He wants to re-do our basement to make it a kids play room. While I think it’s sweet that he wants to do this for our children, his history of giving up half way through projects makes me want to pull out the big no. On top of that our washer and dryer are down there, it would be really crappy not to have access to them while renovations are being done.
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"description": "threatening to throw out my roommates dishes",
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AITA for threatening to throw out my roommates dishes?
|
So, I’m a college student and I live with two other people in a triple room. In our room there is no kitchen, but there is a communal one upstairs. I can’t cook and mostly uses my meal swipes, and because of this I didn’t bring my own dishes, and the same goes for one of my other roommates. However the third person, I’ll call him M, did bring his own dishes from home and stores them under a nightstand next to his bed. Now he said the dishes could be communal and because of this I would occasionally borrow a plate for when I would reheat food, or a fork, or a cup. However I made the point that we should wash our dishes immediately after use in the upstairs kitchen, something M agreed too.
Now flash forward in time, M rarely washes his dishes and lets them pile up, along with this neither M or the over roommate; A, are particularly clean people. In all fairness I am also pretty unorganized, but I definitely value cleanliness over both of them, and M is fine with out right messes, and because of this I end up doing 90% of the vacuuming and cleaning in the room. This is annoying, but I for the most part bite my tongue. However regularly dirty dishes are left about and I ask M to clean them, eventually I stop seeing them left about so I assume everything is fine. Now at some point I’m getting a dish to reheat food, and M tells me that that dish is actually dirty, and I find out that over the last few weeks I have been eating from dirty dishes (in all fairness I only used his dishes maybe 5 times in those weeks). See it turns out that M had been storing his dirty dishes on a bottom shelf near his bed, and his clean ones on the bottom of the night stand, and he claims I should have known they were dirty as they weren’t under his nightstand. However since he handn’t washed any of his dishes there were no dishes under his nightstand, so I just assumed he moved his dish storage to the shelf. Both M and A found this funny, but I was pretty pissed and I told him he needed to wash his dishes and I stopped using his all together. A ends up agreeing and says that it kind of gross that he hasn’t washed them.
I mentioned this dishes in passing over the following month, but with finals I forgot. However now a month later they are still not washed and sitting next to his bed. Now the events that follow I think need a bit of explaining, but basically I am admittedly a hot headed person and there is one point of contention between M, A, and a I: Money. A’s dad is a moderately famous architect and M’s mom pulls in close to seven figures a year, while my dad is unemployed and my mom does newsletters for a church. Because of this I am regularly stressed about money going to a 4 year university, and do experience underlying jealousy to my roommates, especially M, who gets a school year allowances of $10,000 for recreation/ food, and uses it all, mostly on going out to eat regularly. I decided to treat myself the over night and ordered a pizza because I was pulling an nighter for a final. I put my leftovers in M’s mini fridge (which he said was communal), and left for class. Now according to M I left the fridge ajar, while I am indistent that I closed it, but either way he ended up throwing out my pizza because he believed they would have gone bad. (I should note that M and A have a history of leaving uneaten pizza out and I have yelled that them for this claiming they could get sick, but I have never thrown it away without asking, and normally they leave them on A’s desk which is directly across from my bed, which leads to my bed stinking of pepperoni, and being someone who keeps Kosher, it only makes it grosser for me. However door ajar or not, my pizza as in the fridge). Now I’m pissed about this, and I’m even more pissed because M ordered a new Pizza for himself while I was in class. He does offer me some, but it’s pepperoni so I decline. However I rarely have the money to go out to eat, so the fact that 20 dollars worth of pizza and breadsticks was tossed just puts me in a bad mood.
And that’s what leads us to today, maybe it was the pizza incident, or just me being exhausted from finals, but it’s been over a mo Th since my roommate has washed the dishes, and they are still piled on his bottom shelf next to the bed. I ask him to wash his dishes, and he says he’ll get to it next WEEK, after finals. I loose my shit and tell him to wash them and it’s disgusting. M says they are his dishes, and we haven’t got bugs, besides I can’t see them from my bed (I can), so why does it matter. A agrees that it’s disgusting, but he also says it doesn’t matter. I again say it’s disgusting, and since M was playing video games last night he clearly has time to wash the dishes. He once again says he’ll get to them in a week, and that he needs to work. I end up grabbing his dishes and tell him I’ll go wash them, and he once again asks why it matters. I don’t know why, but I loose it and I tell him that I’m not going to continue to clean up after him and I’m throwing his dishes out unless he washes them right now. He screams at me that it’s his property. But I mean he hasn’t used them in weeks and they hav built up gunk, I also don’t say it, but like he has money to buy new dishes, so if he isnt going to care for the ones he has he can just get new ones. M calls me an asshole and again says it’s his property. I mention the pizza which he claims is an unfair comparison. He ends up angerly taking the dishes from my arms and takes them upstairs to th kitchen. He comes back a minute later, so I can assume he hasn’t washed them yet, and hasn’t talked to or A since.
Sorry for the long post, it’s my first time posting here, and I’m not much a of a writer, so I don’t know what is necessary information or not, but AITA?
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"description": "maybe being a ChoosingBeggar type",
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AITA for maybe being a ChoosingBeggar type?
|
I hate choosing beggars. I'm an artist myself and I understand that it's immensely important to value people's creative efforts and to pay for their time.
​
However, being an artist, I'm super fuckin poor lmao.
​
Right now (literally right now) I'm trying to start a digitally published magazine for poetry, photography, and short fiction. I am doing this entirely by myself, and I'm wondering if it's reasonable to reach out to people who I know are amateurs/unrecognized photographers and such to try to get a front cover photograph....without paying for it, at least for the first issue. This would literally be one of those "but the exposure!!" kinds of things. With just that, I think i'm the asshole, but there's some context for how these magazines generally work and how I will be structuring it:
​
\-submitting to a magazine with your work often requires you to pay $3-5 and does not guarantee that your work will be accepted and published
\-you often are not paid even if it is published for non-huge, nationally recognized magazines. I've personally been published eight times and have paid a total of like $100 to submit everything and have not seen a cent back (though now it's on my resume, in my author's bio, and it's valuable experience).
\-the magazine I'm starting will be partially devoted to charity (20-25% of all profits to a different charity every issue)
\-I'm planning to, if I reject submissions, offer critiques of the work submitted so that the submission fee doesn't feel like money in the trash
\-basically, the cover-art-submitter wouldn't be any less paid than anyone else in the entire magazine for the first issue. all accepted submitters get a copy of the magazine for free for themselves and their friends and family, of course
​
Am I the asshole? or am I just playing into an asshole system? Is there any non-asshole way to go about saying "hey, you know that work you have put into this product? can I have it for free in exchange for publicity?" Is it non-assholeish specifically because reaching out to them and featuring their work is validation of their efforts?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "not wanting my gamer buddy Ive never met to bring his gf to my house for the weekend",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for not wanting my gamer buddy ive never met to bring his gf to my house for the weekend?
|
So I've been gaming with a goup of 6 guys for about 3 years. We play almost every day for at least a few minutes. Chat, joke, make fun of each other etc. I finally invited everyone to come hang out and 2 of them can. Ive never met either person irl but were like brothers. One is coming from the west coast to the east coast where im at. The other one only lives 2 hours away in another state. Ive booked us an airbnb, lined up tickets to multiple attractions, were going to have a blast. The guy whos driving told me hes bringing his gf now. She is a complete stranger and it will be a pain getting extra tickets now. On top of that were dudes who are kind of crass, it was a dudes weekend. I haven't said anything about it to him but am going to. Aita?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to buy/have unhealthy food in my house for my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 6
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|
AITA for not wanting to buy/have unhealthy food in my house for my girlfriend?
|
I have recently been on a bit of a health kick, and as a result have been eating much healthier and trying not to buy unhealthy foods. My girlfriend (who does not live with me) asked me to pick up some doritos and various unhealthy snacks whilst I was buying ingredients for our dinner. I said I didn't want to buy them because I don't want the temptation of having them in my house. She is accusing me of being controlling and forcing my lifestyle choice on to her. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ao1bry
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{
"description": "calling the police on my missing friend",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for calling the police on my missing friend?
|
Last night, I went on a night out with my best friend. After we’d been there a couple hours, she told me she was getting a drink, then never came back.
I really freaked out and probably overreacted - she’s never disappeared without a word before so I genuinely thought she’d been drugged or something and I was really scared because I couldn’t find her at all. I called 111, which is like our non emergency service who directed me to apparently a non emergency police line. They asked what happened and I told them and they said they’d check her house.
It’s morning now, and she’s fine and tells me she just went home with someone, which I’m kind of angry with her for because she didn’t say anything to me at all and it was just us two out. She just left me and I waited for her for ages. She said she didn’t say anything to me because I ‘always get upset with her’, which is true because I’ve always thought it was a bit of a dick move to go out on the pull when you’re only out with one other person. That could be me being unreasonable though.
It turns out that the police woke up her entire house, removed and reattached her door, and changed her lock. She’s in a lot of trouble with her flatmates and her work and she’s really angry with me for getting the police involved. We both have bpd and we’re both fairly prone to having dramatic emotional reactions to things so I guess, did I overreact to her ditching me? Am I the asshole for getting the police involved?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not giving an online friend my address",
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|
AITA for not giving an online friend my address?
|
Backstory: So I've been friends with this guy on tumblr for a few years now. He added me on snapchat and we talk occasionally. I've come to consider him a good friend and I told him I'd like to meet him eventually. He lives in the states and I live in Canada. My friends know about him and my boyfriend knows about him. They don't know much because it's a pretty casual relationship and there's not really any reason to talk about him regularly.
Anyways I told him I'm pregnant today and he asked if he could send me a pair of sweatpants. I told him it was sweet but I wasn't comfortable giving him my address because I live with my boyfriend and I didn't want to explain to him "yeah my online friend from Chicago wants to send me pants" I know he wouldn't be comfortable with me giving someone he considers random his home address. If I lived by myself I'd be like "yeah dude thanks."
Obviously it came off the wrong way because he said I've invalidated him and he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. He told me to enjoy my overprotective boyfriend and boring life. I apologized to him and told him I understand that he's upset but I can also see my boyfriend's side of not wanting someone he doesn't know having his address. I could have just said nothing to my boyfriend and just accepted the gift but I feel like that would be going behind his back. Not that the relationship is anything but platonic.
I just feel like I've ruined our friendship over such a silly thing and I feel really bad. But I also don't think it was unreasonable for me to not want to give out our address.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "breaking up with my bf for lying about smoking",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for lying about smoking?
|
I've been dating a doctor for eight months. In that time he's told me that he used to casually smoke but quit, and I made it very clear that because of my asthma I wasn't able to be around people smoking or even second-hand smoke from clothes without coughing and having my sinuses clog up. He swore up and down that he was through, that it was just a phase, etc. and understood that I wouldn't have started dating him if he hadn't stopped.
 
Yesterday I was supposed to meet him in his office and we were going to go out for lunch. I'm always early anyway, and because there was no traffic I arrived much earlier than even I normally would. And there he was, standing by the street and lighting up. I got out of the car and he had a the world's biggest "Oh shit" look on his face. I don't really know why I got out. Maybe it was so that I could see it for myself up close, but as soon as he dropped the cigarette and started walking toward me I turned around and got back in the car, telling him that he needed to leave me alone. At that point I was really upset, and the driver was willing to let me stay in the car for a few hundred feet so that I could get away from the crazy doctor repeatedly yelling my name.
 
The rest of the day he called me until I finally texted him "Please stop calling me and don't drive by my house. I'll call you when I'm ready." His son has called me and texted me in that time and I've taken those calls. I just said that his dad and I were going through something and I needed some space. His son's concerned that we're going to break up and has flat out said that he doesn't want us to. But now I'm questioning everything. If he's willing to lie to me about this then what else has he lied to me about? This seems to be the type of behavior that addicts engage in, and I'm just not sure I can stomach it. It's doubly painful because he's a *medical doctor* and should be able to understand where I'm coming from and the health risks involved for both of us. On the other hand, I'm highly invested in this relationship. We've said that we loved each other, talked about getting married, and I obviously have a good relationship with his son. I don't know if this is a huge red flag and I should just break up with him now or if it's something that I should work try and work through.
 
**TL;DR:** I'm an asthmatic and my boyfriend swore up and down that he didn't smoke anymore. Yesterday I caught him smoking and am considering breaking up with him.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "not going out with my wife",
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|
AITA for not going out with my wife?
|
I’m (male) currently working crazy shifts while my wife is currently on a week long spring break from nursing school. In the past 48 hrs I’ve worked 24, getting home this evening around 6pm. When I got home my wife was away visiting a friend. I texted her when I got home asking if she was having dinner with said friend, or if I should wait to eat so we could eat together...no response. I’m fat so I ate foods, I’m not super proud of the double bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch I gorged on but it happened.
Around 7pm she gets home and asks “What do you want to do tonight!!?? Do you want to go out to eat? Or get food to go??”
I tell her that I’d like to stay in since I’m feeling tired and wanted to watch a hockey game (I don’t watch much sports, but NHL playoffs are close and my team is close to making the playoffs).
She immediately shows displeasure in my response and heads out to get food. Before she leaves I try to explain that I don’t feel like going out and that I’d love to take her out tomorrow night since I get the day off. She proceeds to scowl and leave.
An hour later she returns in tears and tells me how disappointed she is in me, that I’d choose hockey over her. She then takes her food and eats in the bedroom while saying “it’s fine.” After eating she showered and went straight to bed without saying more than “goodnight.”
I completely get that she wants to make the most of her week long spring break, I’d want to do the same. But she asked me what I wanted to do! And even suggested getting food to go and staying in! AITA for not going out with my wife?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
PJlffbYgBmBpNi1n5sIvfASjRjuFAsN4
|
am6we3
|
{
"description": "not wanting to room with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to room with my friend
|
One of my friends, let’s call her Sarah, asked me the other day to look at apartments with her for next semester. We live in dorms right now and in the fall we’re going to need a new place to stay, so I go with her. Sarah asks if I’d be one of her roommates, and I say yes, not thinking much about it.
When I get home I start thinking if it actually is a good idea or not, and I start remembering all of the times her roommates complained about how loud she is, how she wakes them up in the mornings, has super loud sex, etc. I could probably deal with most of this stuff without causing issues, but both of our boyfriends are living together and I know it’s gonna drive me crazy if Im trying to catch a break at his place and she’s there.
So I call her, probably about 3 days later and say “hey I don’t think it would be a good idea if we lived together, I value our friendship and I don’t want it to suffer if we have any issues” I even put the blame on myself and told her how much my current roommates irritate me even though they do nothing wrong.
She took this surprisingly well, and even THANKED me for telling her how I feel. She said she agreed, and doesn’t want our friendship to suffer.
Well, two weeks later my boyfriend gave Sarah and her boyfriend a ride and he told me she started talking mad shit about the whole situation. She was calling me selfish, that I should’ve told her sooner. I don’t know what all she said but for a good 5 minuets she was telling my boyfriend what an awful person I was.
I don’t know what to do at this point. If I’m being a dick here I’ll go apologize and explain the situation better. But if I’m in the right- and shes still calling me names to my boyfriend, I don’t think I would want to be friends anymore. It seems a bit childish and unnecessary. I don’t know. I need to know I’m not being the asshole before I take any action.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
BPyBYNZU2syWi1ptuIrhT6XV3JyDNs0G
|
azukri
|
{
"description": "not giving up my table",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving up my table?
|
I'm staying at a hotel where there's a breakfast buffet with closed seating; you walk up, a waiter shows you to an open table, they put some silverware down and take your drink order, and then you go grab food from a buffet.
This morning I came back to my table with a hot plate of food to discover a different waiter seating two older people (maybe mid-50s) at my table. I approached and said "I think you're sitting at my table" and motioned to the silverware and glass of OJ that my waitress had left there. The new waiter apologized and asked if I would be willing to wait a few minutes for a different table to be cleared. I said "well this is my table, maybe they should wait for a table to be cleared" and set my full plate down. The older couple stood up and said "we don't care, we're not going to act like 3 year olds over a table". This felt like a rude thing to say but I ignored it and ate my meal
I feel like it wouldn't have made sense for me to stand around holding my plate waiting for a table to be cleared, especially since I had clearly already been sitting there. But AITA for not giving up the table to this older couple and expecting them to wait for a new table?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
fgtyYuYhy9WSm8heu0GkbgPAscRAuajf
|
anfb1c
|
{
"description": "almost getting hit by a driver on their phone and then making a big show of flipping them off",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for almost getting hit by a driver on their phone and then making a big show of flipping them off?
|
If context is needed, I go to a large university as a school, and while the usual model for students here seems to be to jaywalk whenever possible, I typically try to be as polite as I can to oncoming cars when they are in the vicinity. One thing that REALLY irks at me however is people who are on the phone when driving. I think it’s really unsafe and it consistently bugged me in the past when my parents did it, as I could see firsthand the effect it had on their driving abilities.
So I get to a specific intersection as I’m headed to class, a crosswalk where there is a yield traffic sign on a two way street, and as I’m walking across, I nearly have my body thrown into the air by a minivan that screeches loudly to a halt, barely staying behind the line to stay on their side, about 10 feet before the crosswalk.
As I took a glance at the drivers seat to get a look at my would-be murderer, I see a middle-aged woman, phone up to her ear, clearly looking as though she is in a hurry and couldn’t be bothered with my miniscule little existence.
I felt like this was my chance to - teach her a lesson? - for a lack of a better term. I was still in a state of intense shock and sudden anger, so I made a big show of slowly waving at her, giving her my biggest smile, then putting an imaginary phone up to my ear, pretending to talk on it, and hanging it up, while fluidly turning the hung up phone into a middle finger directed at her. She gave me a look of intense rage and sped off after I completed the rest of my now fairly slow walk down the rest of the crosswalk. The whole thing took about 5-10 seconds, and I was going out of my way to generally waste her time/draw attention to her being on her phone as being part of a fearful experience for me.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
VvW4SHWfaqGuVbJ1nNt1IxNpDTheLdE9
|
ad3jj7
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my annoying depressed girlfriend on her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
WIBTA for breaking up with my annoying depressed girlfriend on her birthday????
|
Im thinking about breaking up with her because she is negative and depressed when I’m a relatively positive guy. We’re both in the 12 grade and she is always complaining about her future. I live in a 3 bedroom apartment while she’s in a mansion with rich parents and like 3 dogs. How can you be this gloomy when your living the good life? She’s also always threatening to kill herself especially when she wants attention because it bothers her that I talk to other people. She lets her friends walk all over her and when I tell her to be tougher she complains not to be that kind of person so if you are not going to do anything about it then why are you constantly goddamn complaining about the same shit!!!?
I could break up with her later when we could see each other in school after Christmas break but wouldn't it be best if I just text her on her birthday as revenge? That’s pretty bad but bare in mind she is so annoying and she put me through all her emotional roller coaster meltdowns. She can’t let anything go, she would rather dwell on it and be sad about stupid shit. She is always talking about her troubled past. A lot of it sounds like bs because it all just seems like attention seeking and all her stories are a little too corny and played out like she took it out of a movie.
The bitch lacks self awareness. Let me give specific examples of futile “arguments” we have. I put the quotation marks on arguments because it’s not really arguments just her acting stupid.
-We are talking in study hall about what career paths were gonna take. I bring up the fact that I might not go to state university I might just stay in community college because it’s cheaper and more convenient. She starts crying about how we agreed on Florida State Uni in the middle of class and makes a scene.
-We are facetiming late at night when I fall asleep after she had been gone for about 1 minute to do something (I forgot). She comes back and finds me asleep. The next morning I ask her how her night was she completely over reacted and calls me a jerk and replies with “k” when she knows that’s annoying.
-We rarely see each other outside of school because she lives far. I told her I can’t hangout with her that one time that she did want to hang out because I was going out to ball with the homies. She tells me that my friends “are dirt bags no offense”. She’s never met them before.
-I don’t want to make this post too long so last point she tells her friends I am using her after I told her that we wouldn’t be together forever and this is just highschooo fun. I’m sorry to break it to her but I don’t plan on marrying her and having babies with her depressing ass. We friends tell me I should treat her better and I don’t know how lucky I am... She is the lucky one here and I’m the the one stuck with her. And this is just the tip of the ice berg with her.
It just feels like the whole relationship is me being a teddy bear she can cry on. We never even have any sex. She doesn’t send nudes presumably because she doesn’t trust me (I know she has before). She’s always tired, or sad about a movie she saw years ago. I’m sorry about venting too long. So far I haven’t talked to her for 2 days I’m ignoring her texts and it feels liberating. I’m sure she’ll find another dude to torment. I’m just so sick of her shit. I don’t consider us together anymore but she thinks otherwise. I like her but I really hate her. Her birthday is today (currently 2:28 am she’s asleep). I don’t think breaking up with her on her birthday, after what she has done to me, would make me an asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
0Q9OeAFqD2NTTRWOOr8oAo80aWkjjypx
|
b20mn7
|
{
"description": "going directly to hr over an issue on the office and then quit, instead talking to my manager first",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going directly to HR over an issue on the office and then quit, instead talking to my manager first?
|
Abbreviations: CR cash register, SP supervisor, OM office manager, GM general manager. AD accounting department. AT accouting ticket. Sorry, long post.
My friend recommended me to the GM in a very popular hotels chain here in Mexico, so I took the job as a receptionist. At the end of our work shift we make a deposit to AD with the cash we charged that day. When we do the check-in to the clients, we ask for a warranty of 500 pesos (26 dollars), we make a ticket, we sign it and staple it to the bill, we return the money the check-out day. When a worker loses money, they make an AT and charge the money from the paycheck, they don’t ask for a cash reposition.
One day I checked the CR and noticed that $500 were missing, I didn’t charge in cash that day, so it wasn’t my fault, I talked to my OM he told me the missing money were SP’s fault, so she made an AT with SP's name on it. The next day I did a deposit to AD and checked the CR, it had more money than it should have, $500 to be exact. SP told me to save it on the CR, so I put a note with the date, my name and wrote SURPLUS money. The next day, SP told me the OM wanted to talk so we went there, OM was angry and yelled at me that one of my client’s deposit were missing and I needed to pay those $500, I asked how is that possible since I stapled the cash with the ticket and the ticket was there. SP said the AD called saying that there were $500 missing in my deposit, so SP took the warranty with my sign and sent it to AD to cover the mistake. I asked why and said that the money was from a client, he said the OM allowed it, I said I had a surplus money days ago and those were the $500 of the deposit, he told me he took the surplus to pay his missing money bc “the OM allowed so”. I told him it wasn’t ok, OM said “the surplus money isn’t yours, so I decided to use it to pay his missing money” I was angry but I calmed down and said “ok, do an AT and send it if you think it’s my fault”, she replayed “no, you must pay in cash”, “ok, I'll pay tomorrow”. The next day I didn’t show up to work, and I went to HR instead. I told to HR what happened, she sided with me, she was upset and called the OM to discuss the matter, OM told a few lies, but I called her out every time, she blamed SP about everything. The HR lady apologized to me and said that it wouldn’t happen again, I said “I know bc I want to quit right now”, she said they really need me in the team, but my decision was done.
My friend was disappointed because he never recommends people, my coworkers were mad at me for “exposing” SP and OM, the GM was angry bc I didn’t talk to him and skipped his authority, but in my mind, he would side with the OM. I feel like a quitting ass, but I don’t want to be on a place where things like that happens. AITA for quitting in the second week without talking to the GM?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
j0If82Abm0qqebNHSdNFzISj9rT9Ug2c
|
apyfho
|
{
"description": "not wanting my gf to dress provocatively when she goes out to party",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA Not wanting my gf to dress provocatively when she goes out to party
|
Some context: I'm (M20) she's (F20), have been dating for 6 years, we go to separate colleges about an hour away. She doesn't go party too often, maybe 1 time a week or every other week. I don't mind or care that she does party because I do the same. The only thing that bothers me is that she wants to wear provocative/showy clothing. I don't want other guys looking at her boobs or ass.. She says that she does it for herself, not for others. At the same time she has clothes that she still looks hot in but it isn't showy (which I don't care) I don't care when she looks hot I just don't want her tits out. She also says that she's all mine, but yet she's showing herself off like that for other guys to stare. If I were truly hers why would she do that? She's never worn clothes like that until college either. I don't mind when she wears clothes like that when we go out together because she says she does it for me. AITA for not wanting her to wear provocative clothing when she goes to parties?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
8NhZDT4hMq6rp6ZoiqQtPyLY79JR9sKR
|
b59una
|
{
"description": "yelling at my friend after she wouldn't let me speak",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for yelling at my friend after she wouldn't let me speak?
|
Some context for the title. I was already having a stressful day, I was finishing up an assignment that was due the next day so I decided to call some friends on discord, I was explaining to them how there were some people in my school who were being racist. But she said it would end badly and I would get hurt, I said I wouldn't. She can't assume that based on her past. So I told her it wouldn't matter if I'm hurt anyways. So then she started to interrupt me, I told her to stop interrupting me because it's a pet peeve of mine and it's just manners, but she kept doing it, so eventually I snapped and yelled that she needs to let me speak because I was talking first, she said she doesn't care, so that got me angry. The next day I learned she removed me and the other friend in the call, and I have no more ways to contact her, I know I over reacted but I think she did too, so please tell me, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
8Gb9Sv4pXZzjrv7BjqgbmBuqR1CPd2h3
|
au6ppp
|
{
"description": "making a bad joke to my crush",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for making a bad joke to my crush?
|
First of all, mobile user, so sorry about the bad formatting.
Ok, so I’ve been talking to this girl for about 6 weeks now, met up a couple times, but haven’t done anything yet. I keep making this joke (its rickrolling, I know, immature) that she hasn’t really reacted to until today. I make the same joke again, and this time she replies with my first name.
Usually, when that happens, she’s not happy, so jokingly I say “I guess this means I’m blocked now” (talking on Snapchat). Obviously, not the smartest choice of words, but I’ve made this joke before as well.
All hell has broken loose, and she does not take it well, attacks me, and promptly blocks me. I have spent the last half hour trying to apologise, but I might have gone over the line. So guys, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
X9q3XdQJ232iacFPtbD60sc2FKaRBOEY
|
avxvee
|
{
"description": "not allowing my parents to get a divorce yet",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for not allowing my parents to get a divorce yet?
|
Id like to apologize for any weird wording. English is my second language and I dont fully know to fully express what I'm trying to convey fully.
So my parents have been together for a near 25 years. And they've been good to each other for the most part. Yet for the past few years they've been getting into more and more fights one which had recently turned violent. So they've been talking about an divorce.
Since I'm the current oldest one in the house they allowed me to be the final say in them being divorced. I said no. I understand that they dont want to be together anymore and would more than likely be happier without each other, but I dont want my younger sibling to deal with the stress of them being divorced. But I also have issues with their plans for after them getting divorced.
My father is a very high stress man and a perfectionist. He has extremely high expectations for my siblings and I. He throws fits when we dont meet his expectations. But he wants to move back to Mexico and take my younger sibling with him. My father is from a very rough place though and I do not want my sibling to live in that area.
My mother is someone who has used to take hard drugs and falls into depression alot. She now relies on marijuana a lot to get through the day. She also moves from one job to another alot and has trouble bringing in a steady paycheck. She usually leaves my sibling and I to our father. But if my sibling goes with her after a divorce I dont want them to be exposed to my or mother's drug usage.
There is also issues with money. Even with my parents combined paycheck it's very close with us living paycheck to paycheck. Both of my parents love my sibling and I very much and I want my parents to be happy but I dont want my younger sibling to have a rough possibly emotionally/mentally abusive life with my father in a very rough area or to be exposed to my mother's drug usage and her unstable paycheck.
I really just want the best for my younger sibling but and for them to have both parents but I dont my parents to be unhappy because I wont let them get a divorce until my sibling is old enough to take care of themself.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
x2CkVM5QiP5KKdgKXjNjR7G8KoPnxItL
|
b64m3q
|
{
"description": "trying to change lanes in heavy traffic",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA: for trying to change Lanes in heavy traffic
|
I was driving my giant piece of s*** e250 van yesterday afternoon when I had to make a right onto a busy highway that went into a construction zone with only one lane open and had to immediately cross over three lanes of heavy traffic to get into the left turn lane to make a u-turn. People weren't being particularly cheritable in letting me over, so when I saw an opening that I could get into, I took it, and probably took it pretty aggressively. This did not sit well with the driver, who tried to close the gap and laid on his horn like it was the end of the world. This frustrated me, so I gave him the finger, at which point he swerved around me dangerously, got in front of me, slammed on his brakes, got out of his car, started reaching into my vehicle and asking me "You want to get out of the car and do something?" For the record, this guy looked like some roided-out extra that fell out of an episode of the Jersey Shore. I tried to calmly explain to him that the only reason I "cut him off" was because he tried to close the gap before I could get over, I had on my turn signal, and that we all had to drive here. He kept insisting that I get out of the car and do something and I assured him that I wouldn't do that, but that I would call the police and let them settled the issue for us, at which point he ran back to his car jumped in and cut several people off trying to get back into traffic. I know I shouldn't have flipped him off, but we need to be able to give people feedback sometimes, even if it isn't particularly constructive.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
nD4koctmVgtoHLaAc4zgvnTPywDYfTWz
|
awru67
|
{
"description": "kicking my friends dog in the face",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for kicking my friends dog in the face ?
|
I was visiting a friend who lives in an appartement and has a medium sized dog.
They have a very large balcony where he is normaly kept when there are guests around because he always goes crazy when there are people he isnt familiar with in the house. I've been in that appartement a couple times before and once where the dog sat with us in my friends room without trouble, but my friend picked him up and let him smell me prior to that.
Anyway what happened this time was that as i was leaving, my friend went to open the balcony door to let the dog out, (which was barking very loudly as he saw me leave) and as soon as he opened the door, i heard the dogs claws hitting the floor and storming in my direction, (the elevator is inside the appartement, its like a penthouse) and i didnt know how to deal with that situation, so i ran to the elevator, smashed the buttons continuously hoping for the door to close before doggy gets to me. The door didnt close in time and the dog got to me, and i swung my leg with just enough momentum to "throw" the dog off me. My friend who was luckily just behind him running picked him up and went inside.
That was really awkward as i only knew the guy for like 4 months. I called him afterwards to apologize, he said he will take him to a vet to see if i damaged any of his teeth, which im pretty sure i havent because i didnt kick him hard enough to break his teeth. He said i have to pay if the dog needs any care. He didnt make any wheeping sounds when i hit him so i dont think he got hurt and besides i used to be scared shitless of dogs, but i got over it, still stressed me out when the dog was running towards me.
Should i pay or is an apology enough ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
acxbxUMXmDev5lEzDGeEFa5G9rV5afsL
|
9wtim7
|
{
"description": "telling the manager of my apartment that my downstairs neighbor may be a hoarder",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling the manager of my apartment that my downstairs neighbor may be a hoarder?
|
I have lived in my apartment for 4.5 months now and on move-in I asked my neighbor next to me if there were any problems with bugs. He mentioned that there has been issues with roaches and over the months that I have lived here I have definitely seen it. I also have a BIG fear of roaches, like a full-blown phobia much the same way that people have phobias of spiders or snakes. I can’t even look at photos without feeling panicked of like I need a shower.
A couple months into living here I happened to glance inside my neighbor’s apartment and saw a lot of stuff everywhere. I only saw a quick glance so I didn’t get a good look at everything that was there but it got me thinking that that could be where the roaches came from.
Flash forward to today, I was frustrated because despite keeping my apartment incredibly clean I have had a significant amount of roaches in my apartment - mainly the kitchen. I called the complex and mentioned my neighbor’s mess and she said she would look into it. I immediately started feeling bad about it because my downstairs neighbor has some sort of mental disability and I’m not sure how capable he is of taking care of his apartment.
So, do you guys think I’m an asshole or is mentioning it justified?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
oLG1YMZ34Kbvx8IFSp8TaJIZtEtt9sJJ
|
b3v44d
|
{
"description": "removing my sister's abusive husband from my wedding party",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA to remove my sister's abusive husband from my wedding party?
|
(I do not believe this violates the violence policy as I am not advocating violence, it just happens to be an important part of the story)
I am getting married in 4 months. We have been planning for about 2 years and my sister accepted being my maid of honor as soon as I got engaged. I had more bridesmaids than my fiancee has groomsmen. About two months ago my fiancee asked my sister's husband to be a groomsman to help even out the sides. My fiancee has only met him a couple of times and only put him in because we didn't have anyone else at the time. Our bridal party also includes their three children.
We found out this week he has physically abused my sister. He threw her to the ground and broke her hand. I do not live in the same country as her so I do not see their relationship on a daily basis. She has begrudgingly confirmed this happened but refuses to acknowledge it as a problem.
My fiancee does not want him standing up there with us. I do not want him standing up there with us. My fiancee has since been in contact with an old friend who has come back into town and he would like to include this old friend and replace my sister's husband. WIBTA if I called my sister's husband and and told him that we have found someone else to be in the wedding party? And WIBTA if I was truthful about why we were removing him? We would not be uninviting him from the wedding completely, just the wedding party.
I believe there is a high likelihood my sister would refuse to come to the wedding meaning the children would also not be there. It would also very likely cause additional drama in the family.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
z5iBsi25bQtojEW59BrTJNps7vg8zF0E
|
b64oib
|
{
"description": "wanting an out-of-home office while my wife is stuck here",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting an out-of-home office while my wife is stuck here?
|
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My wife and I have two small kids (under 1.5 years). I love them with all of my heart and love spending time with them but recently our living situation has changed.
I own an online store and do a few other things for income, all of which involve a computer. I have recently quit my "physical" job and am exclusively working from home. I thought it would be great.
I am losing my mind. I can't focus with the kids screaming all the time and crying. I can't put the effort and energy into my business like I used to (or other endeavors) and feel it is affecting both my income and well-being.
My wife is stay at home. I provide us a very good middle-class life (nice home in a nice neighborhood, decent cars, 2-3 vacations yearly, plenty of money for socializing, etc.). We agreed to this situation (her stay at home) long ago. But now she is going crazy here as well. She is always upset with me because she feels I should help her because I am just in the other room.
I am upset with her because I feel that I am doing my job and trying to help with the kids which is affecting our income and my well-being. I usually stop working around 5ish and help her with dinner/bedtime and spend some time with the kids.
I want to rent an out-of-home office. I can't handle this anymore I feel I am losing my mind. I know she is struggling too and we are looking into a part-time job for her with some daycare, but it will take a while.
AITA for getting out of the house for 8 hours and leaving my wife with 2 screaming kids?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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