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|
arr8pv
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{
"description": "being jealous of my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being jealous of my friend?
|
16M here. Recently my school did a theatre production and I managed to get into a small, admittedly insignificant relationship with this girl that I met while doing it, and it lasted three (3) days. Yep. But I wasn’t too upset as it was very short lived.
Anyway, the day after she called it off, I found out my friend also in the production is dating a different girl. Now I feel like depressed, but I can’t pinpoint why. Am I jealous of them? Am I upset that I was dumped? Both? Please help me internet strangers.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
9wdyqf
|
{
"description": "being too happy when drunk",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being too happy when drunk?
|
Hey folks, so somethings happened this weekend and I can't stop thinking about them (as I'm feeling really bad about them).
So basically I live with friends and colleagues in a university building, and Saturday night we went out together. We were going to a party nobody had bought tickets for and we were pretty excited (and drunk). When we got there we couldn't get in (obviously) and so everyone got kinda sad...
Except for me. You see, I don't know what exactly happens, but when I drink, I usually get every lever turned up to eleven and really can't stop laughing, making jokes and being jumpy in general. We had already gone out together a lot of times, but this was the first time something bad happened, and so they started getting fed up with me. After some time they all start treating me like an inconvenience, one of them almost got in a fist fight with me and the one friend who I was closest to yelled a lot of things at me.
Of course this is the way I view how things passed, and since then I can't stop feeling like an asshole for getting on everyone's nerves, even though I feel that I acted how I always act when we go out and get drunk. I already apologized to everyone I've talked to since then, but I can't shake off this feeling.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
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b6kgj6
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{
"description": "confirming to my boyfriend that he's getting fat",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for confirming to my boyfriend that he's getting fat?
|
I [26M] have been with my boyfriend [27M] for about 5 years. Over those 5 years he has gained a third of his initial weight. There's no denying that but I don't love him any less because of it. He has quit smoking and gained some weigt then, surpassing the 200lbs he already has. There's no denying the elephant in the room (no pun intended) because he has gained weight but in that moment it was reason enough for an argument.
Up to this point his weight was never that big of an issue because he gained it very gradually. I love him and I'm attracted to him, emotionally and physically and understand that he went through a lot quitting smoking.
Yesterday during sex we were trying something new because we aren't the most adventurous in bad. The position we were trying out didn't work out much. He then made a comment and said, "it's my stomach right?". It didn't sound serious, he even laughed a bit. I grabbed onto it and said to him in a what I had assumed was an equally playful manner, "yes it has grown quite a bit". Now his stomach isn't easily to ignore, we cuddle I grab on to him and all that I love him and to me this wasn't different any different. He just about pushed my hand away, left the room and came back ranting. According to him I'm being an arse for rubbing staying in shape in his face and insensitive. We had the biggest argument we had in quite a few months. It was very upsetting because that wasn't my intention at all and because he barely allowed me to get a word. This was all yesterday night. What I have done from my perspective isn't any different from other instances, we joke around a lot and we say a lot worse things to each other than this. None of it is serious because it's all playful banter. I only confirmed to him what he said first.
In regards to me rubbing it in with my own weight, I struggle a lot with my own weight. Differently than he does but in my teenage years all the way to my early twenties I have been dangerously underweight to the point I had to het hospitalised for it once and my old therapist constantly alluded to an eating disorder. I have an extremely fast metabolism and if it wasn't for a high calorie diet and a lot of exercise I'd still be a thin twink.
So, I'm at loss here AITA for confirming to him that he has gained weight?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
RIGHT
|
FGWWmkU8rt0Y4avxDM16rQvOiBsjh1gO
|
b17x10
|
{
"description": "getting collided into by a bicyclist",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting collided into by a bicyclist.
|
I get off the school bus, currently a student. Driver knows me, and knows that I cross the street in front of the bus, usually. He waits, and a car crosses the other side of the road, so I know for a fact that's its safe to cross as no car can come from the right to overtake the bus, so my chances of getting hit by an overtaking car are 0%.
As I begin to jog across the road, a bicyclist overtakes the bus and collides into me. I'm not sure how I was able to stand still, but he toppled over off the bike and in front of the bus. He gets up and starts cursing at me, I'm completely startled, not really knowing what to say. Usually I say sorry sub-contiously (i'm British) but I was dazed and his cursing didn't help, although, it was understandable. I never imagined such a situation could have occured as it was my understanding that bikes couldn't overtake parked buses, especially if the bicyclist couldn't see what the pedestrians are doing who just got off.
AITA? Was he justified in overtaking the bus in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
MaxRRm2ti31LNPm3lTOZqJyqqr9lMNju
|
al8825
|
{
"description": "hitting on my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hitting on my friend?
|
Backstory:
My wife and I split up over a year ago. Pretty soon after, I reconnected with a “friend with benefits” from many years ago. Both her and I were in much better shape when we were first sleeping together, we’ve both gained a pretty significant amount of weight since then. The relationship this time has been heavy on the friends and less so on the benefits, though we do fool around from time to time. We’ve gotten really close, I’ve remained friends with her throughout several relationships (of hers) and been a confidant for her as well as her for me, and I’ve never tried to get her to cheat if she’s in a relationship. When she’s single though, I do make a move from time to time, and we occasionally knock boots. I love her, and tell her that, and she says she loves me too. I’m great with the friendship as is; I have no desire to be in a relationship. I’m enjoying being single for the first time in 6 years and have no desire to change that (not from a sleeping around angle, she’s the only woman I’ve slept with since my wife, it’s just the freedom to do what I want when I want). She’s made it pretty clear she would be very receptive to a relationship, but we’ve decided just to keep things the way they are.
However, she recently had gastric bypass surgery and has lost a lot of weight. She looks amazing and is getting hit on like she was 10 years ago. She frequently complains that all these guys that would never give her the time of day are all over her and it frustrates her because she feels like everyone is treating her like she’s “just a vagina”. She makes the same comment about me when I make a move now. I’m a bit offended because I’m treating her exactly the same to her as I have for the duration of the friendship. I still go see movies with her, let her vent about work, friends, family etc, cook with her, call to vent to her and everything else, and we still occasionally make the double backed demon. Am I the asshole? Should I stop sleeping with her to show her she’s “more than just a vagina”?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xTPEpKI0ff6FJii5U7mSKSjfKHYnxpM4
|
b66vv4
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate she is being dramatic",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my roommate she is being dramatic?
|
My roommate told me about two weeks ago that it makes her uncomfortable when I have the guy I am dating over sometimes. She said: 1. She doesn't like him staying on school nights (she's in college) because she feels weird getting ready in the morning when a man is in the apartment. And 2. She doesn't like him staying over on non-school nights because she likes to sleep in and her cat keeps her up all night, and this is somehow connected my bf? I am not really sure I understand that. But at the end of the conversation, she said to just give her a heads up on weeknights where I am going to have him over. I think that's dumb since this is my apartment too, but I said I would do that.
Last night I texted her on my way home from work and said, "Hey I'm gonna have (bf) over later tonight. Just wanted to give the heads up since I had him over this weekend." Her reply was, "Okay np thanks for the heads up!"
I woke up this morning to get ready for work, my bf stayed in my room the entire time while I made coffee and grabbed food for my lunch. Her door was cracked and I guess I woke her up by moving around in the kitchen. She then sent me a text saying that she didn't think it was fair that I had him over last night because I know it makes her uncomfortable, her cat kept her up all night, and that something woke her up this morning and this is one of the few days she gets to sleep in (it's a non-school day). I replied and said that the cat keeping her up was not my problem, and it's not fair of her to tell me I can't be in the kitchen before I go to work in the morning, and that she had previously said it was fine that my bf stayed over.
We then proceeded to message each other back and forth while I was at work, and I honestly felt like most of what she was saying was contradictory. A lot of it had to do with being woken up this morning (my fault, not his), and the fact that the cat kept her up all night, which I still don't understand how that is our fault? She then said she was just going to stay at a hotel until finals are over in two weeks and I told her that she was being dramatic. She seemed to take offense to this but I refuse to apologize for any of what has gone on.
I know I am only giving my side here, but I really don't see how him staying over one weeknight a week really affects much. The cat issue isn't on me, I can't avoid going into the kitchen before work, and she told me it was fine that he was over last night. I am at a loss for what to do, and seriously don't know if I am the asshole here for telling her she is dramatic. AITA?
\------
TL;DR: My roommate is mad that I had the guy I am dating over even though she said it was okay the night before. I told her she was just being dramatic and that I am not sorry she is upset.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Deoq1TcagoKg32jqa8HZB3WIuGZFx92D
|
a71fq2
|
{
"description": "being angry that my parents won't let me live at home anymore",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for being angry that my parents won't let me live at home anymore
|
So I live in Australia and I'm about to enter the last year of my degree at uni. Once I get halfway through next year I won't receive financial support from the government anymore so I don't think I'll be able to afford to live out of home anymore. I do work but I don't want to work more than 15 hours a week so I still do alright at uni, plus my job is average.
But the problem is my parents are insisting I can't live at home anymore because I'm too old to live with them according to them. I sort of agree with them but I have plenty of mates my age (25) that still live at home with their parents, at least half of them do. Plus I don't know if I really have a choice because I don't think I'll be able to afford to live out of home. I think I'd only have to live with them for a year and a half assuming I get a scholarship for my PHD which I'd say I have a decent chance of getting. I really don't want to get a job when I finish my degree as I want to go into research and I study psychology and it's better to do postgraduate study usually.
I don't know I'm sort of conflicted. On one hand I don't want to live at home with them especially because they live half an hour away from my university and because it's sort of shameful to live with your parents at my age. But I think it'd be nice and Id like to spend more time with my family I just don't want to be there if they really don't want me there.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
AtKbbiUM819XWFDzlvRo9Jm3JLxe0fVl
|
b0chfw
|
{
"description": "not finishing cleaning and getting pissed off so quickly",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not finishing cleaning and getting pissed off so quickly?
|
I’m 16 and felt like cleaning the house again (It wasn’t that dirty because I cleaned it last week but I’m an anxious person and sometimes I just really wanna clean and listen to YouTube) so I was vacuuming and getting ready to mop.
I was vacuuming the house and minding my own business when the vacuum stopped working. So I called my mom over and *attempted* to tell her that I just pulled on the cord so I might’ve accidentally pulled it out inside. She yells at me to let her talk and fixes it (it wasn’t what I thought it was) and she starts to go off on me about how I don’t know anything and I need to let her talk, even though I just was trying to say “Mom, the vacuums not working I think it’s because I pulled the cord too hard” but she was having none of it. I told her to “Go to your fucking room or something, just leave me alone. I don’t want your help I just wanna get this done with” then she started yelling that I’m a parasite. So I called her cute and left, meanwhile she kept interrupting anything I tried to say by yelling “PARASITE!”
I sent her a text a few minutes later saying “When you apologize for everything you said I’ll continue cleaning the house. Until then I won’t take this abuse.” Which was probably dramatic but I was angry and feeling impulsive.
It’s a bummer because I actually was in the zone and wanted to clean, but I’m too prideful to go back down and let her think she got to me. She does stuff like this all the time and randomly goes off on me, usually for little to no reason. We haven’t fought at all today or had many interactions. I wanna clean but I’m kinda pissed that she treats me like this.
Was I being to quick to fire up? Too jumpy? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
jGRL8mweNusosVW0dzBRHxMFF5KtiC1u
|
azhzdg
|
{
"description": "having 0% contact with any of my exes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having 0% contact with any of my exes?
|
I guess the title is pretty straightforward. Anyway, I (18M) started dating *early*, really early, although I'm sort of on a break from relationships as a whole. Either way I've had a few exes, none of which I have any contact with. Literally zero, the moment me and those girls broke up I sort of chose to fade them out of my existence completely.
To be brutally honest, I don't really acknowledge their existence. My closest friends don't even know the first names of any of the girls I've dated, bar one. I don't think I do it out of spite, it's just that they cease to exist or something in my eyes post-breakup. In my friend group this is weird, even the friends that had shitty breakups are still pretty friendly, the only exception is me.
I physically can't understand having contact with an ex, let alone being friends, even though my friends think it's weird, and some have said I'm kind of an asshole for completely deleting my exes from my life, to the extent that I don't even mention their names.
Are they right, am I an asshole for basically acting like my exes never existed the second we break up? I'm not hurting over any of these girls, it's just that they sort of faded into some random on the street after we broke up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vLzvZXUIKVUNLIoSac3rDowV39BODQmo
|
b7nqy6
|
{
"description": "being not totally comfortable with my boyfriend hanging out with other girls alone",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA if I’m (f17) not totally comfortable with my boyfriend (m18) hanging out with other girls alone.
|
I find myself to be a little uncomfortable with my boyfriend hanging out with other girls one on one that I don’t know very well. This is because there have been instances in the past where a girl he thought was “just a friend” was actually harbouring some major feelings for him. It truly has nothing to do with how much I trust him (I trust him implicitly) I just hate the idea of another girl thinking she’s being sneaky or pulling the wool over my eyes. I do not stop him from hanging out with other girls nor would I ask him to because 1) that’s simply not my place and 2) I don’t like that behaviour. He has said on multiple occasions that he has absolutely no problem with me hanging out with other guys one on one and that he doesn’t care because he trusts me. This frustrates me because I trust him but i am still uncomfortable.
tl;dr: I feel weird about my boyfriend spending time with other girls that I don’t know alone.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
SwcWIbyE3Dwzoo0IfJuQNR3uO5TWRtJB
|
apceh3
|
{
"description": "not supporting my little brother's rap songs and stories",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for not supporting my little brother's rap songs and stories?
|
Background: My little brother is 19, white, lives with our mom, and works at a grocery store. He has never had a relationship so doesn't know anything about them. His ideas of them are from movies and his music. He also has ADHD and is bipolar.
About 2 years ago he asked me to read a story he wrote. It seemed like it was written by a 14/15 year old that just stumbled upon porn. He told me he wanted to animate it and put it on YouTube. He asked me to voice one of the characters. I turned him down. He was really upset about that. Like I had betrayed him.
He also has been sending me his SoundCloud and asking me how good his music is. It's literally about fucking bitches and killing anyone who disses him. He is extremely tone deaf and has no flow when he raps. I let him know that it wasn't my kind of music.
This past Christmas someone had the idea to buy him a $250 mic to record his music with. I told them that it's a terrible idea to let him think he is good. He can't handle me turning him down, why give him the hope when he's obviously going to get shot down?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
ZdEdDZ9OwQWssVG301rjwn0vKih0Rbyp
|
b1s43i
|
{
"description": "asking a fat lady to give up her seat to a late pregnant mother and her so",
"pronormative_score": 91,
"contranormative_score": 130
}
|
AITA for asking a fat lady to give up her seat to a late pregnant mother and her SO
|
So I was on the bus yesterday and it was packed. But this lady was so big that none was able to sit next to her. Now I had a seat on the bus for a while but as a student I give up my seat to other people as thats my schools expectation. But the entire time i had been on the bus this lady had been sitting in a 2 person seat by herself. Now when I get on its already full with many people normally standing and it really got on my nerves that this lady had the audacity to take up 2 seats. But when a lady who was deep into her pregnancy and her SO got on the bus it really annoyed me. after 2 or o minutes and no one had offered them or her alone i worked up the strength to ask her if she would get up and give her seat to the couple.
​
Thats where i stuffed up. So i asked her politely if she would give up her seat so the lady didn't have to suffer with the pregnancy as badly. (Something along the lines of "Excuse me ma'm would you mind giving up your seat so the lady over there could sit down so its a less unpleasant experience for her, if you could i'm sure they would greatly appreciate it)
​
Apparently this was super rude and she got really offended and started shouting that i was 'fatphobic' and rude and that she would report this slight to my schools headmaster and get me suspended or expelled.
​
So reddit AITA.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 114,
"OTHER": 86,
"EVERYBODY": 16,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 91,
"WRONG": 130
}
|
WRONG
|
sNzf45JUcCrrNbq8XgSQQ0TRX9LOGmw7
|
aqczsd
|
{
"description": "getting mad people for using the elevator to go up one floor on a 20 floor building",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA if I get mad people for using the elevator to go up one floor on a 20 floor building?
|
I know it’s super petty but we have limited elevator space for people who live on the higher floors to get up and down. Their requests cause major delays for people on the top floors to the point where I have to plan to leave ~3-5 min earlier so I can ensure I get down. I understand if the person is disabled, but most of the people I see do it are able bodied individuals.
I really can’t help but feeling like I’m a petty asshole for sometimes groaning when they press the button, but I feel like they need to know what they are doing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
Lux5HKPMFVgB2msKftw0EUuQhm6aLJsw
|
aermqh
|
{
"description": "not wanting a friends girlfriend to come in an overseas trip",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting a friends girlfriend to come in an overseas trip?
|
Me and a group of friends, all male, are planning a trip to Europe this summer. There's five of us going and it's basically set in stone, when me and the friend who wants to bring his girlfriend (I'll call him BF from now on) talked about going on the trip he immediately brought his GF into the picture. BF's girlfriend ALWAYS does everything with him, she has no social life of her own and constantly gets mad at him for doing things with just the boys. When I brought the trip idea up I had the idea of a boys trip, I didn't say that when he brought up his girlfriend though. He went home excited and told his girlfriend about the trip and she replied "I can't wait to go!" Inviting herself without him even asking, am I the asshole for not wanting her to come? How can I tell him that his girlfriend isn't entirely welcome?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
J4RnjgrH2jllUK0eWubbJMnfZ2Z3uPQQ
|
ap93au
|
{
"description": "not changing how I usually type in a chatbox and arguing with 3 chat moderators",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For not changing how I usually type in a chatbox and arguing with 3 chat moderators?
|
So, this happened not too long ago, In a game where there is an clan system as you can form clans for benefits. I didn't know if I was in the wrong here so I decided to post on this subreddit.
I joined this clan not too long ago for benefits, but got quickly attached to the community there as it had some very nice people, so I wouldn't say I'm too terribly new to the clan. But it all started when I was just talking to a individual there when the clan chat moderators decided to step in. (Clan Chat Moderator = CM)
​
CM: hey op stop spamming chat jesus
Me: no :\^)
CM: bet
CM: you have like 9 chat messages in a row
Me: No I don't?
CM: jesus christ dude but you have messages with your name covered my screen thats spam
(Keep in mind that i had like 3 messages with the other guy that I was talking to's chat messages on screen)
CM: Keep it up op (I wasn't talking much at this time)
Me: fuck off
This was when another chat moderator decided to escalate things and went to tell me "Alright op, heres the deal, he asked you to stop spamming, so just consolidate your messages into one thought and sent it instead of splitting it into 3"
I obviously won't listen to something that almost everyone in this clan community did, just because only me and the other I was with were typing, so I went on to argue and that it shouldn't matter. This was when a third moderator that i was fairly close to stepped in and told me to stop. I kept on enforcing my opinion here until they decided to chat ban me for 1 and a half hours. After this, the one i was close to went to PM me saying he was sorry. The other two, not so much. these two went on saying that I brought this upon myself and I just asked them if this was warranted for "annoying the officers". Then I was asking why it was annoying to them, and Their answer was "Ignoring the fact you're wrong, if people ask you to stop, then you stop, is this such a foreign concept to you?" and something along the lines of "It's because we cant read anything else that other people post" And I just snapped, like there was no other person in clan chat except us two and you decide you want to step in to tell me you're bothered because you can't read anyone else's messages?
I'm pretty emotionally sensitive and I still regret talking back to the clan moderators, but I want to know if I'm 100% in the wrong here.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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ap1dh4
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"description": "yelling at my roommate after he accidentally let my dog escape outside",
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|
AITA for yelling at my roommate after he accidentally let my dog escape outside?
|
Sorry this is gonna be long!
TLDR is basically in the title.
So a little background, my roommate loves my dog. He helps me out with my dog whenever I need it and in exchange I give him rides whenever he needs it (he hasn’t been able to drive for the last month and a half or so and we work in the same building at roughly the same time but i also give him rides to just do stuff like go to the store or do random errands).
Last night I went out with friends for the first time in almost 6 months and I got pretty shit housed, spent most of the night basically herding drunk cats. So even though I had a fun night overall and everything worked out at the end of it, I was a little stressed and very very drunk.
When I got home and walked inside, I didn’t see my dog who is normally right at the door crying for me, just my roommate (sober) who was watching tv on the couch. And then I heard my dog scratching at the back door (no big deal, I have a 40 ft leash outside for him so he can run around outside and go potty alone) but when I opened the door, there was no leash on him. We live right next to a fairly busy road. It’s one of the main roads in our neighborhood and my dog is light colored but pretty small, 20lbs.
Then I started freaking out. I dont remember how i started yelling but I know he said “oops I left the sliding door open I guess he just wandered out” and next thing I know I was screaming at him. He said the dog was outside for maybe 10 mins (so i assume, he was outside alone near the road for probably anywhere from 5-20 mins)
The thing is, the day before, I had told my roommate that my dog is my best friend and has literally saved my life. I got him a year and a half ago, a couple of weeks after a suicide attempt as an emotional support and encouragement to stay strong and keep living and I’ve since really improved and am even happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
And seeing my dog outside, alone, potentially abt to be run over or lost or dog napped or whatever the fuck, I had an extremely visceral reaction. It was made worse that I was very drunk and my roommate tends to have a very carefree attitude abt everything as a way to cope with his own anxieties I guess and I didn’t feel like he truly initially understood how betrayed and hurt I felt.
I feel like my reaction was extreme, I was literally more mad than I’d ever been and i was really yelling, like at the top of my lungs probably, but I still feel sick abt the entire thing. Even though my dog is such a sweetheart, he probably didn’t even leave the area where his leash normally is. I’m so careful with my dog and mindful of keeping him safe and happy 100% of the time. The argument ended in my roommate hugging me while I literally sobbed. We haven’t talked abt it all day and i don’t know if I owe him a genuine sober apology. We’re fine this morning, i took my roommate to a bike shop and we talked like normal and he said he’s order a pizza for us tonight but never did. He’s really become like a brother to me and I care abt him a lot.
So.. AITA and do i owe him a real apology or should I just drop the whole thing and accept that it turned out fine and we worked it out, even if I was too drunk to really remember the details?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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ahyn71
|
{
"description": "being upset because my friend implied that I am culturally uneducated",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for being upset because my friend implied that I am culturally uneducated?
|
I have a friend who is a Star Wars fanboy, and I only have seen the first 3 original movies. He was the one who forced me to watch them, it was hella boring for me. (I really enjoy independent European cinema.) But no problem, I care about him and appreciate his efforts to share his tastes in cinema, music etc. with me.
He said that people who haven't seen Star Wars are "culturally uneducated" because it's "general knowledge". He also claimed that "those people are a little left out because Star Wars is a crucial part of the pop culture."
I agreed with his second opinion but I said I was a bit disappointed that he just disregards the whole history of cinema and the great directors like Luis Bunuel, Kieslowski and Gaspar Noe.
When I told him that he just called me culturally uneducated, his response was "yeah you were, but I introduced you the series and now you're not"
This has happened like a month ago. Yesterday he implied the same thing again.
Am I the asshole for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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addz9k
|
{
"description": "wanting to have a \"dry January\"",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to have a “dry January”?
|
My girlfriend (20) and I (21) have been dating a little over a year. One of our (her) hobbies is drinking wine and making dinners when her dad goes out of town because my kitchen is too small to do so comfortably. Anyway, I’ve been drinking almost everyday since I graduated college December 15, so I decided I need to chill out this month as obviously all that drinking ruined a lot of my working out progress (I’ve never been overweight, but I like to be defined)
She thinks it’s super uncool of me to do this knowing her dad will be in Vegas for 2 weeks and that I shouldn’t do it this month and just start next month. After some arguing I finally caved and said “fine I will drink some but it will just be a glass of wine with dinner” but that was not good enough for her. The whole argument was over phone/text so now she’s just been extremely short with me and thinks I’m being ridiculous, while I think she’s being extremely selfish.
Also: I don’t think I have a problem with drinking, and that has no motivation for why I want to stop, I’m just doing it purely so I can start waking up not hungover and good enough to get my butt in the gym. My friends have also been nagging me to drink as well.
So reddit, am I the asshole? Are are the people in my life assholes?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ahqzn0
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{
"description": "expecting free salad dressing at Chipotle after having to wait for them to make it",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
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|
AITA for expecting free salad dressing at Chipotle after having to wait for them to make it?
|
So I placed an on-line order at Chipotle today. My wife always orders a salad and every time I go to pick it up she reminds over and over to make sure they don't forget the dressing.
So I arrive to pick up the food. After confirming everything she tells me they are out of the dressing. I say "oh man, my wife loves that dressing and is gonna be pissed if I come home with out it" She says it will take them 20 minutes to make more. So i ask if they can compensate me in some way for not having the dressing. She walks to the back, comes back a moment later and says it will only be 5 minutes. I tell them that would be fine and I will wait.
So about 5 minutes later, second lady who I saw making the dressing in the back comes out with two containers of dressing. I walk over to pick them up, when first lady (who is now helping another customer) yells "JUST ONE! HE ONLY GETS ONE" to which i say "well you should give me both for waiting" I take only one and start to walk away, when i see second lady is still holding out the second one offering it to me. I decline, tell them to have a great day, and leave.
​
I kind of feel bad, I wasn't angry or anything, but when I talk I use a lot of sarcasm, and my wife tells me I always sound like a douche.
​
Note: the restaurant was nearly empty, other than the one customer who had just walked in, and one person sitting down eating.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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a4ij6q
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{
"description": "complaining about housekeeping staff taking my money",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for complaining about housekeeping staff taking my money?
|
Basically, I had left about USD 4 on my hotel’s table, amongst a pile of my stuff and when I came back to the room, I found housekeeping leaving a note that said “thanks very much for the tip”.
I had in no way or form whatsoever indicated at all that this was a tip to them. I understand it’s my fault for leaving my money unattended, but I honestly didn’t think they would take the money and assumed it was a tip for them.
It’s a small amount of money, and I wouldn’t mind tipping them if they had actually done a good job of cleaning up the place (they really didn’t - there was still hair all over the bathroom floor). So I went to the front desk and told the manager, and they said they would speak to the staff directly as well as her manager.
AITA for telling on her? I don’t want to get the staff into trouble, but I felt that she had no right in taking my money at all when it wasn’t even indicated it was a tip.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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a6q1rj
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{
"description": "being distant with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being distant with my friends?
|
Okay so in high school, I was friends with people from every cliche clique. It's pretty easy in the high school, because bullying doesn't really happen often here. The jocks are nice to everyone, and the 'slutty cheerleader clique' (not slut shaming, just stereotypical names), were charismatic and wanted to improve the school. The only thing that sucked was the principals and some teachers.
A few people that I was friends with were (fake names) Ron, Ivan, James and Eva. They were the edgy gamers. I played Xbox with some of them and we always talked about new games coming out since we had some classes together.
Well, it's been 2 years since high school (fucking WOW, time flies). They invite me out often but I'm addicted to OT so I tend to say no. But 1 year ago, I said yes to Eva's party , and it went fine. I got high, played some overwatch. Impressed a cute guy from the popular group. It was nice. Nothing really eventful happened there, it was a chill hang-out.
Well some time passes, and they invite me to hang out again, I accept.
Well we went out to eat which was fun, Eva and I have always gotten along. Ivan and Ron were gossiping about games. But after dinner, we went to an electronic store, and they just kept saying the N word.
I told them to stop, they aren't black and they have no right to the word. They mocked me and kept saying it, but all around they were just goofing off. And I work security so I can tell the other security guards were hella sus, and watching us. It was so embarrassing.
Then we went bowling and James joins us. They kept asking me to be the sugar momma and to pay for all of it, and to pay for their tickets. But I'm not paying for anyone but myself.
I just feel like I have evolved from high school, I have my own apartment and a FT job. I just feel embarrassed to be around them in public now, and I feel like they just want me to pay everything.
They invited me out yesterday and I made an excuse to not go, which made them cancel the plans.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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ar64vo
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{
"description": "liking hentai",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for liking hentai?
|
My girlfriend and I just finished watching Harry Potter when a trailer for Wakfu (some anime I think) popped up. This prompted a joke from my girlfriend saying I got suggested anime because I browse hentai porn. I laughed and joked about how I only watch tentacle hentai. This got her mad. Aita?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
akvibk
|
{
"description": "not indulging my boyfriend's thing for dirty talk",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not indulging my boyfriend's thing for dirty talk?
|
This is obviously super embarrassing to talk to about with friends, so I'm hoping to get a little perspective here.
Basically I've been seeing a guy that I really like a lot in most respects for about a month now. He's attractive, generally very sweet and he does a lot for me (driving me places and helping with homework and stuff like that). The issue I'm having is that, during sex, he's really into this type of dirty talk that I don't do well with. I have pretty low self esteem in general and it's stuff that's sort of degrading, and a few times I've actually ended up crying. He's really apologetic afterward and takes care of me, and has explained a lot that he doesn't actually *mean* any of that stuff.
On some level I really feel like I'm being too sensitive, because at the end of the day it's just talk and it's obviously not something that requires anything of me (like, it's not a sexual thing that I need to perform or something). And it's something that gives him a lot of pleasure. He knows that I don't like it but he's said that it's something to get used to, and that he does things that make me happy so it's a trade-off. It does seem kind of trivial when I think about it. So you can see why I feel like I might be an asshole if I make him stop completely.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b67j80
|
{
"description": "not going to the doctor",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA because I won’t go to the doctor?
|
I get migraines and have been getting them for over 7 years. 6 years ago I saw a neurologist, tried a medication that didn’t work, had a CAT scan and no major medical issue other than these ongoing migraines. I learned my avoidable triggers like red wine and chocolate but there’s also triggers like the weather, pollen, and my period which I can’t avoid. I don’t go back to the neurologist because it’s expensive and the treatment didn’t work and the scan didn’t show any tumors or other causes that can be avoided.
Today I woke up at 4:30 am crying and recognized the symptoms. I got a glass of water and excederine and went back to bed but couldn’t fall asleep. I started looking up migraine cures. I accidentally woke up my partner and he was pissed. I explained what’s going on and he basically said it’s my own fault because I won’t go back to the neurologist.
Now I feel sick and I’m pissed off at him for having no compassion.
Am I the asshole because I won’t go back to the doctor?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
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ac0dil
| null |
AITA: My nephew is almost two years old and I haven't met him yet...
|
My nephew was born a little less than two years ago, and I have yet to meet him. I live about 1,400 miles from my sister (my nephew's mother) and her husband. I moved away five years ago and haven't been back since; I have no desire to go back to my hometown. Since I moved, my mother has come to visit me a couple of times, and my sister has come to visit me once.
My sister and mother keep asking me to come out to meet my nephew, but I just can't make myself do it. They've even offered to buy me a round trip ticket to fly out and meet him. I would also be able to stay with either my mom or my sister, so the trip would be virtually cost-free.
Am I the asshole for not meeting my nephew yet?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aeovb3
| null |
AITA Roommate constantly breaks the house rules and I'm fed up
|
AITA Long story short a family member has allowed me to rent a house from them, there are 3 roommates including myself. Roommate 1 and I don’t have any issues however roommate 2 has broken pretty much every rule we’ve laid down from the beginning. Sink is constantly cluttered by his and only his dishes despite a rule we all clean and put away our dishes, constantly pays his portion of rent to me late and I have to cover for him so it gets paid on time, has had multiple neighbors complain about him yelling because of dying in video games at 2 am. I’ve tolerated all of this but the final straw was on New Years. My family member that rented us the house has been very clear about not throwing parties at the house and I have been very clear multiple times with roommate 1&2 that we can’t or we jeopardize losing the house. Roommate 1 is no issue with this however roommate 2 constantly asks to throw parties. Finally on New Years I come home with no notice and find 20+ people in the house for a party, family member that is renting the house drove by and saw all the people in the house and was livid so I took the blame knowing he would probably give me a second chance. I talked to roommate 2 about this and instead of apologizing he went off on ME saying that there’s no way my family member could’ve known, and no police got called, and he cleaned the house the next afternoon so what’s the big deal? Basically we got a warning and next time we’ll be kicked out but roommate 2 still doesn’t seem to care. AITA for wanting to come clean to the family member now that I see how roommate 2 has responded to me covering for him so that he’ll get evicted and we won’t have any issues?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
amw58y
|
{
"description": "not paying a $50 \"bed fee\" to a friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not paying a $50 "bed fee" to a friend?
|
So I got very drunk last night, and I went home with a friend of mine who was literally carrying me as I was blacked out. He put me in a roommates bed who I know and also consider my friend. There were no sheets on his bed so I slept on the cover. I woke up with a little puke on me and the bed, so I bleached and washed the cover to clean up. Did not really think much of it, but he just texted me he wants a "50 bed fee" for puking on his bed and not telling him. Am I the asshole for not paying him this? I understand I should have told him, and I apologized, but considering I have known the guy for 4 years and was put in his bed unwillingly, am I at fault?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a6n9l5
|
{
"description": "upsetting my friend's gf",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for upsetting my friend's GF?
|
I was out a few nights ago with a friend of mine (Paul) and his GF (Mary), both of whom I hadn't seen for a few months. We went to a gig, had a great time, and then decided to go to a club. We arrived there at about 1 am and had a fun time dancing amongst ourselves. Mary then became upset when she ran into Paul's ex-GF, who apparently gave a dirty look to her. Since she was distressed, we decided to go outside the club so she could calm down (now about 2 am).
​
I waited a couple of minutes for the two of them to talk things over. I then decided that I might join the conversation so that I assist in whatever way I could. I can't remember exactly how the conversation flowed, but I asked Mary if she wanted to go home or go to another club. She looked at me for a fraction of a second, disregarded that I'd said anything and then turned back to Paul. I was a little annoyed at this, so I repeated myself again with a raised voice. Perhaps not my wisest decision based on the circumstances, I will admit. I was a little bit tired, but I should have been more considerate. I never normally raise my voice towards other people unless I am trying to make myself heard if I believe I am not being taken seriously (which is still rare for me).
​
Mary then raises her voice at me, saying, "What on earth are you raising your for?" Paul responds to this by saying, "Don't talk to LifeCable like that!" She walks off in a teary huff. Paul and I catch up with her. I start to apologise when she cuts me off saying, "LifeCable, just stop, and fuck off." She starts to walk off again. Paul gives me a quick look of "I'll try and talk to her, maybe it'd be best if you stay your distance." I agree, and sit down on a park bench, while they both chat close-ish by where I can keep an eye on them.
​
They talk for about an hour, which I spend feeling conscience-stricken and talking to whoever happens to be outside the club. Paul then returns to no avail. We sit there silently, keeping an eye on Mary. After a few minutes, he mentions a few things that they discussed:
* A conflict Mary and I had earlier in the year (which I thought we had forgiven each other for, but apparently she is still bitter over it).
* Mary reading Paul's private messages in case he was trying to cheat on her (he wasn't, and this isn't the first time that she has done this).
* How upset she was at how Paul had taken my side instead of hers.
Mary started wandering off again, which is far from unusual for her to do. Especially when she is unhappy and oblivious to what sort of bad conditions she could land herself in. By the time, we caught up with her again, it was 3:30 am and just wanted us all to go home. Paul tried to illustrate this to Mary, but she kept claiming that he was trying to change the subject from what they were angrily discussing.
​
I kept quiet, both due to fear and tiredness until about 4 am. By this stage, we had walked to somewhere where there nobody around, apart from the company of a street light or two. Then the three of us saw a white van drive past, do a U-turn, park right next to us, and opened its passenger door. We all looked at each other and ran for our lives. Once we got somewhere safe, Mary burst into tears, hugged and apologised to us for arguing over something so stupid. Honestly, I was glad we could finally go home.
​
Apologies for the mass of text, but I know this subreddit is keen on having as much info as possible. What I'm asking is that am I the asshole for causing all of this happen, and for turning what was a fantastic night into a sour one?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a1wn9c
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a trip with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a trip with my boyfriend?
|
Okay so my boyfriend and I were planning on taking a trip to visit his aunt (who lives 5 hours away). We confirmed the dates today.
Later we go to visit his grandmother. He usually spends one day a week with her to run errands for her, housework, etc. Today he announces to her that she will be joining us. Obviously this is a sweet thing to do but I didn’t know that was the plan.
A few hours passed and I told him (in private) I wasn’t sure I wanted to go anymore. I really don’t want to spend a week locked up in a house with older people and overall his grandmother drives me crazy. I’d rather save my boyfriend the headache and not go. I know I’ll just get irritated and that will bother him/stress him out.
But now he’s not happy with me. I just really don’t want to go. I know it’s part of the relationship but I already went on a trip with his grandmother once and it was horrible. I had a panic attack at some point during the trip.
It’s really just babysitting for me. And I told him that I didn’t want to do this again. We are also going through a sticky patch ourselves. I told him it’s hard to want to do things for him when I feel like parts of our own relationship is being neglected and he’s not working towards that.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
a72yck
|
{
"description": "blocking my mother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I block my mother?
|
Sorry this will be a bit long.
Backstory - We live in different countries so haven't seen each other in person irl for a year. We have an unstable relationship for several reasons, but I try to push through it because I'm the only family member she has contact with (she cut contact with everyone else).
However now it's reached the point I'd like to be cut off too.
I make minimum wage and it costs a lot to travel to her country, but I was planning on seeing her this upcoming spring and bringing my partner to meet her. I would have needed unpaid leave to do so.
I informed her i was about to buy the tickets and she had a meltdown that I wasn't coming for her benefit, I was arranging the vacation around my partner, that I was selfish and spoiled for waiting a whole year to see her, and that if I wanted her to come to my country then I'd need to pay the flight and accommodation but that she didn't want to come to my "shithole country".
I only responded by saying if that was the case I wouldn't come.
She hasn't responded and I know when she eventually does it will be a long aggressive and accusatory tirade. Would I be the asshole for blocking her before she has a chance?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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N1Npwue8VvPx7QyPggCW41e0aWi4lvBJ
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9v1kt5
|
{
"description": "always dumping my friends request to play fortnite with him, even though I was the one who originally made that proposal",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for always dumping my friends request to play fortnite with him, even though i was the one who originally made that proposal ?
|
This might seem like a smaller issue, but hear me out...
About 2 months ago or so, when i still had semester break i told a friend we could play fortnite together when hes bored to stay in contact more. During my break he didn't ask once but now that my break is over and i got new games i'd like to play more he started asking me to play fortnite (even though i'm not a fan of it) with him. I usually decline the request becaue i have either "no time" or because i simply dont want to even though i am the one who proposed it.
So, am i the asshole ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Bc4iVV2Sj9J2o9CO5FMXHLc8ZXYkIZnS
|
arp17m
|
{
"description": "I am doing with the fights she always picks",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I am done with the fights SHE always picks?
|
So I'm part of a dance group. We are 9 girls and we get along great most of the time.
5 members already left and the empty spaces were filled again because of trouble... and the trouble is most certainly caused by this one girl I'm gonna call V.
V is 17 so by all means you would think she would take responsibility for the stuff she says and does but no. She is always the victim.
Everything started with two members who already left. Y and C.
We had a live show and Y had a light fever and a 1 hour drive ahead. So we told her if she wasn't feeling well she should stay home. In comes V complaining her way was soooo much longer than Y's and so on.
Those unnecessary fights continued to the point were Y and C were so fed up they left with a big fight via Whats App Group Chat.
Soon after V chose another girl in our group to pick fights with, I'll call her S.
Now I thought we agreed, since she always started trouble, we were going to ask her to leave the group... but no. Her closer friends in the group, A and N suddenly backed out and just treated her like a child in the way of "just don't do it again okay sweety?♡♡♡"
And everytime V picks another fight A and N jump in and support her in the train of thought that she is the victim and she isn't to blame.
V said JUST HALF AN HOUR AGO "I have personal problems" and "It's not my fault you are all attacking me" no one was attacking her and guess what? Everyone has personal problems. That's not a reason to pick fights. (There was more but I am not in the condition to rephrase everything now I'm on the edge of another breakdown)
I just asked her to pay her part of the rent for our dance-room to our bank-manager, since she already made me wait 6 months for a total of 92.50€ and I didn't want it to happen to the next bank-manager...
Anyway... another fight, I was gonna tell her to please leave the group because I didn't want the fighting anymore, it stresses me to no end (also everytime she types into the chat I get panic attacks because I'm afraid she will pick a fight again). But in comes N to assure her it's not her fault and she is supporting her.
I know I sorta chickened out there because I didn't speak my mind but I was already crying and I didn't want N to attack me in the end...
I decided to our next training session I am going to tell the others if V stays I will leave.
I know it's shit to make someone choose but... I don't think V will ever change, like N and A assure... I could just leave but I love the girls (excluding V) and I want them to think about V's behaviour because I know that 3 others think just like me and will eventually leave...
Am I the asshole?
Tldr: Girl who always picks fights in the group gets her ass wiped off with cotton while I'm having breakdowns. Am I the ass for saying if she stays I will leave?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
h6WuBbB0AAyikzKyVaCPLWnas4Ztcj8f
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b26wl7
|
{
"description": "not going to breakfast with my girlfriends roommates after we having another very intense fight about my lack of eating and sleeping due to a hypomanic episode",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not going to breakfast with my girlfriends roommates after we having another very intense fight about my lack of eating and sleeping due to a hypomanic episode?
|
The last 2 weeks, I have had no appetite. I eat a couple of things throughout the day (smoothies from wotk, kind bar, snacks, and drink water) but I can’t seem to really eat more than 1/4 portion of a regular meal. This has happened before and I’ve intentionally taken advantage to lose weight. I’ve grown a lot and have developed a new frame of thinking about my illness so, I do try my best to reach out to people/supports/professionals, stay social, keep a positive air, and usually immediately notice these symptoms as signs of a developing problem.
I have now not slept for 2 nights, we had late nights that lasted till about 2 and playing games makes 7am come quick. I’ve stayed up played rocket league and overwatch and before I know it she’s waking up and we just start our day and I feel as though I have slept, my mind is sharp (for now). This morning she was very upset that I did not at least lay down and “accept the boredom of lying in bed, because that would be healthy and proactively doing something about this unhealthy behavior” even though, I feel jittery, full of energy and know I’ll only disturb her rolling around. - I did talk to my psychiatrist 1.5 weeks ago, and I’m seeing her in a couple days to follow up, I am being proactive - I’m not as concerned because, this has happened at least a dozen times in life.
She concluded our fight with “we have breakfast to go to in 15 minutes”. I am sensitive/feel guilty, and know I would be thinking about it the whole time. I thought it would be best for her to experience breakfast, a new setting, and not think about me for a couple hours.This just upset her to where she thinks I’m a complete asshole. I get that I bailed on breakfast plans with her roommates but, going and not eating would get me some looks and she would be further upset.
I know she cares and wants me healthy but, She is furious over this tired of me always having ”something”.
TL;DR: I’m having a hypomanic episode, of which I have had MANY, I haven’t been eating much and it’s been hard for me to sleep 5-6 hours or to even sleep at all. My 4yr long girlfriend thinks I’m not trying to help myself and is using anger to relay her concern for my well being. In her defense, through therapy I found I may use not eating to “discipline myself”. I have done it a few times, a few years ago.
We fought 1st thing because I never came to bed. I thought it best to bail on breakfast with a group of her friends because I didn’t want to create an awkward situation or even be around the energy with company.
So.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
oG93wY3wbs2rnl09FCl9ExtdZUMcie4l
|
a6ld56
|
{
"description": "not helping a girl who might have been getting harassed",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not helping a girl who might have been getting harassed?
|
This happened sophomore year of high school when I was 16 (am male).
It was the end of the day and I got out of class a bit late. The halls were mostly empty, but when I turned a corner to head towards the exit there were two people standing next to each other talking, a guy and a girl.
I knew both of them. The guy I played football with, but he was a senior on varsity and I was a sophomore on JV so we didn't interact much. From what I saw of him he didn't seem like a very nice guy and I didn't like him very much. But again, I didn't interact with him, and I only really saw him during football practice where everyone acts like a jackass. The girl was also a senior and I shared an elective class with her. We interacted a bit in class but I wouldn't call her a friend and we never spoke a word outside of class.
So anyway, as soon as I enter the hall I see him playfully poke her in the stomach. I'm a ways away, but she looked uncomfortable and like she wanted to get away. As soon as she sees me her face lights up and she says "Hi WeakAssShit!" This really confused me because we absolutely never talked outside of that one class and for her to be excited to see me just weirded me out. I said hi and smiled and kept walking until my dumb ass finally figured out that she probably wanted a way out of the interaction with the guy.
I was about 10 feet past them when I put two and two together. I thought about turning around and striking up a conversation with her, but I thought the conversation would be awkward and the guy intimidated me, so I didn't turn around and just kept waking. The farther away I got the worse I felt, but I still just kept walking.
The next day I see them talking to each other during lunch, and the girl seemed genuinely happy. She acted the same to me during class and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. This had me thinking that maybe I just misread the situation since all I really had to go off of was had facial expression when he poked her and her being excited to see me. Then again, at the time I did think she might be asking for help and still did nothing, so I'm leaning towards thinking I am the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
iD2Qxm3I2eB7bcMQJFzXhRiGXk5QxzNv
|
alhml9
|
{
"description": "not giving him the food I picked up as a surprise after being mean to me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not giving him the food I picked up as a surprise after being mean to me?
|
Backstory-
I was with my grandfather at Walmart to pick up some random groceries when we realized that my grandpa forgot his phone at home which he needs since he has his own “taxi service.”
So, my grandpa tells me to call my brother to get his phone and tells him to tell anyone that calls to tell them that he’ll be there shortly and that he’s currently unavailable. My brother spends his days playing fortnite nonstop, and when I called him he was pissed at me for calling and said a few curse words and speaks to me in a mean kind of attitude. Still, I ask him and while he sounds hesitant and doesn’t want to do it, he does but hangs up before telling me. Note that before this successful call I called him once and told him to wait since i had to help my grandpa for a sec (he uses a cane but was using the Walmart electric scooters) and then he hangs up. Three calls later he ignores when I call my mom to tell him, again three more ignored calls (probably sleeping) and when I call my brother once more we have the interaction we had above.
Before Walmart we stopped by BK to pick up food, I pay and pick some stuff up for my brother as a surprise. He doesn’t know he’s getting food, but after he was being an asshole to me in the calls I decide he’s not getting his food and either give it to my grandma or eat it later in the day.
Once I get home, I help my grandpa unload the groceries and then bring my food. My brother did get the phone, but I told myself he wouldn’t get his food. So, once I get the phone I tell him something along the lines of “Because you were being an ass to me, you’re not getting food I picked you up,” (again note he didn’t know he’d be getting food)
Once that happens, he gets off the PS4 after 3 and a half hours and then goes to my moms room where I knew she’d take his side. She did, showing clear bias towards him (numerous times she’d tell us that we have to show each other respect each other, I felt really disrespected so I didn’t give him his food to tell him to not be like that) and here she again goes on a rant and tells me to respect my brother, even though I told her he was being an ass to me on the call and that I was proving a point. She said he was waiting for the food the whole time so either my brother lied to her or she’s making shit up, and when I tell her it was surprise food she then moves to a different point about respect again.
My brothers reason for not picking up and being mean? He was playing fortnite and said that he’d rather speak to them than wait fifteen seconds for me to finish helping my grandpa out, outright saying he didn’t care.
I’m sorry if this was confusing I’m just so mad about it, mom is pissed at me though I know my grandpa will take my side since he knew what was happening.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
i5VUvge28RMIRd6cuyzWG7x6TQMF4DfU
|
anxe7j
|
{
"description": "not letting my 16 year old daughter date",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 279
}
|
AITA for not letting my 16 year old daughter date?
|
TLDR: Mature 16 year old daughter wants to date, I won’t allow it because as bad as it sounds, she’s a girl.
I have a 16 year old daughter. She’s beautiful, does amazing in school, and is constantly surprising me by how mature she is.
I often ask her for her opinion in family matters she probably shouldn’t know about, but she’s always levelheaded and gives pretty good advice. She’s only ever slipped up twice. I’m a devoted Catholic, and when she was 12, she refused to go to church and told us she didn’t believe in God. This hurt me and my wife deeply and I’ll admit, I yelled at her until she couldn’t talk anymore since she was crying. Not my proudest moment, but it happened. To this day she doesn’t believe in God, but the condition of her staying in our home is that she at least attend church with us.
The second time she slipped up was when she was caught shoplifting. The cops let her go and there’s nothing on her record, and she said it was like an itch and she felt so terrible about it. I don’t let her walk around alone in stores anymore. In her defense, she’d been dealing with severe depression and mental health issues at that time.
Now, the other day she comes to the living and sits down. She says she has something to talk to me about, and that she knew I wasn’t going to get mad. It looked like she was about to cry, but she said that she had met this boy who she’d liked for a year. Apparently, on New Year’s eve, he’d told her that he’d liked her for a long time and he really wanted to be her boyfriend.
She said she wanted to let me know and that she really liked this boy. I generally am very strict, so my kids don’t go out much and aren’t allowed to date until I say so. Years ago, I said that the age when they could date was 16. She recalled this and said that she was 16 and she just wanted to get my permission first.
I appreciate this, but I meant that my boys could date when they were 16. I love my daughter but she’s my only girl. I know she’s mature but women are easily manipulated and I just want her to be safe. I told her that I’m glad she asked, but it was a no until she graduated. I think she expected me to say yes, as her face dropped. She nodded but she’s the type to fight until the end to prove she’s right.
She brings up how her brother dated at 16, and how I’d let her younger brother date at 14.
She keeps this up until I am forced to say that it’s because she’s a girl. This clearly upsets her and she stands up to leave. But first she just says that she loves me but she’s disappointed.
She’s still upset but I don’t think it’s that much of a problem. I’m not trying to be sexist, I’m just protective over my daughter. I know she’s smart and mature, but men can be dangerous, and I don’t want to put her through anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
vN8tyGTZHpLHT7piWJTWR5sHBDjLN7JT
|
ak51ya
|
{
"description": "going outside with a friend to get some fresh air and talk when at a birthday dinner",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going outside with a friend to get some fresh air and talk when at a birthday dinner?
|
My girlfriend and some of my friends went to a birthday dinner last week at a restaurant (that becomes a club later in the night). The music was extremely loud (fact that was brought up by others too) and it was hard to keep up a conversation because of it.
We were all at the same table, but there was a clear division between my friend group, and the birthday girl's friend group. At some point, I decided to ask my friend (Matt) if he wants to go outside with me get some fresh air. I barely see him these days and I missed just chatting with him. He said yes.
Conversation with my girlfriend the other day:
Her: It was really rude when you and Matt went outside, just the 2 of you, to talk. What did you guys talk about?
Me: Nothing, just our lives, what shows we're watching, our jobs, etc. Nothing gossipy.
Her: Yeah but it was really rude. My friends were asking why you guys just got up and went out in the cold.
[ she thought we were talking shit about other people at the table, that Matt doesn't like, which we weren't ]
Me: You regularly go with your friends for a smoke outside. In the same cold. What's the difference?
Her: Yeah but when we go it's to have a smoke. We don't just go out in the cold for no reason.
Me: Yeah but you guys could be talking about the same things just as much, much less gossiping also.
[ she keeps insisting it's ok because they're smoking ]
Me: Ok so if Matt and I were smokers [we're not] and went outside to smoke, that would be ok?
Her: Yes.
Me: Ok. Imagine the same situation, but eliminate the cigarettes from our hands. Are we in the wrong?
Her: Yes.
We didn't argue about this. I love her very much. She loves me very much. I just want others' opinions on this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
OhdmwUAEQz8eZ9b9T4XywoZgkQCgE12D
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anlp7c
|
{
"description": "not talking to my best friend because when his second child was born he didn't bother telling me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not talking to my best friend because when his second child was born he didn’t bother telling me?
|
My best friend since I was about 16 (24 now) has had 2 kids of which I am the godfather to both. When his first one was born he told me straight away that she was born, within minutes.
Him and his partner went through a rough patch, she cheated on him, tells him she had unsafe sex with another guy and I was there for him during the whole thing looking after him making sure he didn’t do anything stupid.
Fast forward a little and they get back together and find out she is pregnant but how far gone she was matches perfectly with when she cheated on him. So neither of them are 100% sure if it’s his kid. So when the kid was born, he text someone who he works with to tell her the child is born and put it on social media, but didn’t bother telling me, his best friend and godfather of the children that she had given birth.
About 6 months later and we still haven’t said a word to each other. I know it’s petty but I don’t think I should find out through social media that my godson was born.
So reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
2wKQxMUTSqEhrR3Cg7IVBNvdPQwBrLlW
|
ah9t1x
|
{
"description": "becoming distant and unable to forgive my family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for becoming distant and unable to forgive my family?
|
I went through the rules, and I don't know if this counts as a validation post or not. I'm genuinely conflicted and I want to know because it's been on the forefront of my life for so long, and I can't tell if I am the asshole. I tried asking my close friends, and they didn't know either, so this is my last try for an answer.
​
**\[This is REALLY long, so I put a TLDR at the bottom if you don't want to read through all of this.\]**
​
My family's been making me uncomfortable for the majority of my life, from the youngest date I can remember, my mother and aunt used to touch me and tell me "how much I'm maturing so quickly" in a bit of a creepy way, I told them I was uncomfortable with it a few years back, and they thankfully stopped, but not after bouts of complaining and calling me oversensitive, especially since it's something that happens in the entire family. My aunt in particular didn't stop for weeks after I told them to, continuing to do it even in public when I was still barely a preteen.
​
I haven't had much issue about that since then, I understand where they're coming from, especially since they believed it wasn't too serious, but I still get extremely uncomfortable whenever they come near me, my brain automatically tells me that they're going to do it again, and it sends me into a panic. They noticed it pretty early on, once at a dinner table I had gotten the same panicky feeling before we came to eat, and my mind subconsciously told me to minimize my presence as much as possible to avoid them noticing me out of a weird fear, my mother noticed this and proceeded to bash me for it, calling me weak-willed and oversensitive, saying I have to grow up already when I was just around 10-11 back then.
​
And not only that, they also constantly belittled me for multiple things, they were both insecure about their weight, so they started calling me fat and saying I shouldn't eat or I'll get fat and nobody will love me, I ended up having a period of fear that I was actually getting overweight, and my mother noticed this and claimed that if I dared to diet without her knowing, she'd make it one of the things I'd end up regretting most. After I had a breakdown because of it, my mother stopped calling me those things, but she still threatened me because she thought it was the only way to prevent me from becoming anorexic, claiming stuff like "dieting and not eating only makes you fatter, so don't even bother."
​
She used everything I held dear against me, she would threaten me with closing all contact with my friends if I wouldn't do exactly as she said, going to the point where she would take away my only coping mechanisms as a way of making me listen to her. She would insult me for my choice in friends, saying that I only talk to Asians \[mostly because we live in an area where there are many of them compared to other ethnicities.\] and that I should go be friends with people from my country instead of the ones I've had since fourth grade just because of their ethnicity. I trusted her enough to tell her about my issues with mental health, mostly regarding how I viewed myself and how I felt. She would always ignore the problem, even when I was 11 and crying my eyes out because I wanted to kill myself. I told her twice before then that I wasn't happy with living and she never actually did anything. I stopped trusting her with my own thoughts and emotions because every time I told her about my interests or how I felt, I would always get backlash for it.
​
She ended up noticing how little I trusted her, and she blamed me for it too, saying it's my duty as her child to be nice to her just because she brought me into the world, and that she's always been good to me because of everything she's bought or said in the past. Even my aunt said these things too, one of my worst memories was during one of my breakdowns when my aunt told me I was being ungrateful and that I should be happy with my parents because they let me on the internet, even if they're constantly saying these things to me. My dad is much better than my mother, but during that period of my life, my dad was overseas for a family issue, so it was just me, my mother and my aunt.
​
During this period, both my dad and my mom's health was declining, with my father having a genetic disorder that almost killed him and my mother having an issue with her estrogen production, because of this, she started practically begging me for support, hugging me constantly even if I told her I didn't want to \[mostly because I was still uncomfortable with her touching me after the years she spent inappropriately doing it\], I remember living most of my childhood in fear of her, whenever I did something wrong, I would instantly start crying out of fear that she would get mad at me and hurt me, despite how she never actually got physical with me. She did threaten getting physical to shut me up, but she never actually did it. She again noticed how I reacted whenever she was mad at me for something, since I was basically having a panic attack whenever she did get mad at me, and I remember one night where she tried to get me to argue with her by threatening me with my friends and my safety again, it ended up in me panicking even more, to the point where I could hear her call me slurs and names from the living room.
That last point in particular happened a lot, whenever I did something wrong, I'd run and hide in my room, but I could still hear her calling me a donkey or a little lying bitch "just like my father", it was mostly in my native language, and it is hard to translate, especially since I barely have any recollection of the event because of how horrified I was.
​
After all of this, it ended with me being extremely distrustful of my family and my friends, my mind was in constant fear that others would judge me or react to my issues the same way my family did, whenever someone got mad at me, I immediately buckled under the pressure and gave up trying to argue, even if I knew I was correct. My mother started getting all nice to me, saying she loves me and coming for hugs and kisses and giving me what I wanted, even when she didn't give me that attention through my childhood, yet I still can't let go of the mark she left on most of my childhood and preteen years. I can't quite let go of it, and it resulted in me becoming distant from them, she often shames me because "I hate her despite everything she's done for me." AITA for not being able to let go of the things she did before?
​
​
​
**TLDR**: My mother and my aunt were both extremely insulting and demeaning to me, making fun of my weight, preferences and choice in friends, as well as physically inappropriate for my early teen years, with the addition of threats of physical violence, and it left a large mark on my life and perception of others, to the point where I frequently panic at the thought of people reacting the same way they did. Recently, my mother's been extremely nice and giving me loads of physical affection, even when she didn't do any of that through my childhood, yet I still can't let go of the things she did and said through most of my childhood and early teens, I don't trust her or have much love for her, ending up in me being more distant from them. AITA for reacting like this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
4LmmjFTqtzc5D5rOYg5bbR2cR945kfaB
|
b75vwh
|
{
"description": "shouting at someone",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for shouting at someone
|
On mobile and although it's the only language I speak I can't write for shit, I can only apologise
I was sat in my living room and I heard my flat door open, my friend had just let themselves out, so it was unlocked (my bad).
My neighbor was having a party and one of her guests came into my flat and went into the bathroom. I waited until she came out, after listening to music or whatever the fuck she was doing, then she opened the door.
When she came out I was like "what the fuck are you doing in my flat?" And she looked at me and didn't move so I repeated that a few times. Then she started going off at me about it. And how it's my fault for not having it locked.
It's perfectly clear which flat is which, I've had parties and no one has even tried my neighbor's door it's so obvious. And she would have had to leave the flat she was in to get into mine.
So aye, AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
J6a07mQ1y0PXj22y5eI4vqWZ25OO9RhU
|
a8f5bu
|
{
"description": "not letting a woman borrow my coat",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting a woman borrow my coat
|
The fire alarm went off at my work place the other day and when we got outside I walked by a couple of women who had not grabbed their coats. Now everyone else outside has a coat on, it's winter the temperature is well known. I was not close to my coat when the alarm went off, but I made the decision to go get it because I didn't want to freeze. I understand in an emergency situation you should go straight outside but the building was not burning down around me so I took my chances. The part that made me feel like the asshole was that they mentioned to me the fact that I had a coat. Now I know my mother would have been disappointed, and I should have done the chilverous thing, but they were grown ass adults who made their decision. If it was my wife or a child then sure, but am i really required to give up my coat to this lady so she can be comfortable and I can be miserable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
D9wdJfwSl1x1jT4qYJYMTGaWc5C7WPo0
|
ancgjp
|
{
"description": "leaving my cousin in an airbnb apartament on our last day of the trip",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my cousin in an airbnb apartament on our last day of the trip?
|
Quick info - my slightly older cousin and I are spending holidays in Prague. Today at 2 p.m. we are coming back home by bus (10h trip)
Yesterday however we had a big fight. I just think we travel differently, I value being independent very much, she - to the contrary. Very often I travel abroad on my own and I don't mind being alone.
Coming back to the fight - it was over a very stupid and unimportant thing, but it escalated very quickly. We raised our voices and started to insult eachother. The worst thing is that we are (were?) very close. In this situation you simply know what to say, what to mention to hurt the other person. Afterwards I felt very bad, we didn't make up or arrive to an agreement. Each of us just went to sleep. Then I decided that I don't want to spend the entire morning with her. I woke up, put the tickets with a map on the table and told her that was going on my own and that we would meet on the bus. (In 5 hours)
She couldn't believe her ears, asking me if I'm serious and if I am really leaving her.
She is 30, I'm 25, it's not her first trip alone. I'm sure she knows how to read a map and will arrive safely. Come on - it's Europe.
Am I the asshole. I know it must sound incredibly stupid, but I didn't want to sit in the apartament with her, watching her do her makeup for the next 2 hours. I just want to see the city, but I am almost sure that she is hurt and problably on the phone with her sister complaining about me and this situation. ('she left me alone here!')
Sorry for the length and mistakes, I'm sitting in a cafe, little shook-up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
MLB15ebLzjqjymWghPOkIMxwneOYdrqr
|
b52zoa
|
{
"description": "considering breaking up with my bf because he ignores me for his autistic brother",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For considering breaking up with my BF because he ignores me for his autistic brother?
|
Note: My mother is paralyzed from the waist down, I also used to work with kids who have autism worse than his brother. His brother hates all women to the point that if anything touched by a woman goes near him it must be cleaned or removed. He is also very manipulative and abusive to everyone in their family.
Ok, so throughout our relationship my boyfriend's little brother frequently calls him in a panic asking for money or to get him things or take him places. This has gotten worse because he is back home for his last couple of semesters in college. Since he's moved back home his brother's demands have grown out of control where he runs out of my house to his brother's bidding. I used to (emphasis on used) go to their house every Friday to spend time with his younger sister and parents (his brother, like most autistic people, prefer to be alone), now almost every Friday they cancel or change plans on me last minute, I have ADD and anxiety so changing plans usually makes me upset but I also think that's a part of my personality.
One of the things my boyfriends family did to change plans on me last minute was decide to change plans, but not tell me and then alert me the day before around 10 pm (22:00) that I was to come to their house later because his brother wanted to go out to eat with just him, and it had to be Friday because Friday's are special. I just broke down at that point, my lizard was sick and I thought I was going to get to be with people who supposedly care about me. It was not my best moment.
His brother does a lot of things that I find really mean and rude. That says a lot because I worked with a girl who had violent outbursts and would curse at me but she never was malicious and his brother is. My heart hurts to see this 18-year old abuse their family like that.
Recently I told my boyfriend that his brother's behavior toward his family specifically his sister and mother was too much for me to handle, I said I was especially horrified that my boyfriend wouldn't tell his brother that you couldn't speak to your own mother like that. I said I would not be returning on Friday nights indefinitely and would only see his family if it was a large familial event like a wedding or reunion (we are Hispanic so it happens a lot). I've confided to my parents about this who both work with disabled people since my mom is one and my dad works in a clinic for people with brain injuries. They said this was something I couldn't avoid if I loved my boyfriend and wanted to stay with him.
My boyfriend also wants his brother to move in with us after he graduates college (I want to go into a grad program so I'll still be in school). Because of this, I have considered breaking up with him.
I know it sounds selfish but my heart is breaking. Am I a jerk for wanting my boyfriend to spend time with me that doesn't include changing everything around so that he can focus on his brother? I'm so conflicted and so hurt at the same time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5N6hxI4HW4YMQMFAEmkEHxpymdXkLThk
|
acoy6o
|
{
"description": "saying I want to teach myself the piano",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying I want to teach myself the piano
|
I recently got a keyboard because I want to teach myself the piano through online tutorials. When I told this to someone they told me that I sounds like an arrogant asshole for refusing to take lessons, even though I explained I don't work well with a teacher.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Dr6LePSqk8JPh241YjoKT6S5fR2UvTdB
|
9wnbb0
|
{
"description": "wanting to know if this video is a goof or not",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to know if this video is a goof or not.
|
I was just scrolling through my feed and this video popped up.
https://www.reddit.com/r/synthesizers/comments/9wn4v5/chisel316_youtube_channel_preview/?st=JOFGTOEX&sh=710f793a
https://youtu.be/eZdFJfA2ymA
I’m not sure if he’s serious or not. The set up looks amazing and the drums sound alright. I’m expecting something big with all that equipment and then (flatulence sound effect)
I really want to ask him but i don’t think there’s a nice way to go about it. That’s why I came here.
AITA if I ask the question? AITA for thinking the question?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gqVZ3YPfNcZUXa5eSwVASByxTkoKuBJa
|
an42rf
|
{
"description": "wanting to separate",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to separate?
|
Very long, quick background;
Husband and I met a handful of years ago through the internet. On one of our first dates, I got pregnant, and the usual ensuing panicked decision making happened that led to me keeping the baby because it was one of my only chances due to my health, and him sticking around to co-parent but just as friends. Further along the pregnancy he started dating another girl while i was living with him but in separate rooms cuz, ‘just friends, getting together for the baby would be stupid’ he said. After many months of the emotional toll that took, and shortly after the baby was born, i said I had enough and that he had someone so i was moving on. He panicked, didn’t want to pay child support or be ‘weekend dad’ so he dumped the girl and said he wanted me to stick around, but only if it could be an open relationship because he was worried he would need more than me to satisfy him. Young, dumb and literally no other support in my life I agreed to stick around. Few years later i found out i had cancer and another panicked decision was made to have one last child and get married. Thanks to the miracle of RSO, my cancerous cells were no longer there and my second kid was born healthy after our wedding.
Here’s where things started to really kinda crumble. During our attempts for our second kid, we struggled immensely with having any sort of regular sex life that would help conception happen sooner than later. There were always excuses about how late he was working or how much effort it took to have sex with a kid in the house. Fast forward to a year after kid two and he admits that he’s not ‘into’ my body type and thought he could help me lose weight(I’ve never weighed more than 210) and he would never have to say anything, but my depression from some major family drama and my inability to lose weight fast due to PCOS and thyroid problems made him admit “I’m shallow, I just don’t find you attractive and I don’t think i ever will. But i still love you and care for you.” We went to couples counseling where the therapist proceeded to tell me to try to get passed the hurt and use it as a chance to motivate me to look better. I proceeded to put up with a lot of building resentments and anger between the both of us. This created a toxic dynamic where he held onto anger to mask every emotion. I literally only saw him cry once when he broke up with his gf he had when i was pregnant. His anger kept building and building; things would get thrown, doors slammed, hours and hours of tears while he yelled at me. This started to severely trigger some trauma from my past and soon i would sit in a puddle of tears shaking while he chewed me out for my “attitude” “not understanding him” “never forgiving him” “being selfish” and “broken beyond repair” any time he started yelling i would start bawling and he wouldn’t comfort me at all; no touching, no hugs, no apologies. I would literally have to leave the room sobbing and come back calm before he would even attempt to tell me again how i should have asked for comfort if i wanted it and how he needed comfort too and i didn’t give it to him.
6 months ago, shit hit the fan and we had a sheriff at our door. This sheriff looked at him and told him as long as the kids were in the other room he wasn’t there to be a marriage counselor and didn’t care what was said or who yelled at who. This only led to him doubling down and every two weeks i was crying while he was yelling about something else i screwed up or hurt him for. I had enough. I packed everything i could and tried to find somewhere to go and came up empty. I got a job and started to get some confidence back. When i knew i could take care of myself i started to pull away. He could immediately tell and something snapped; this is officially where my ask starts.
I told him I wanted to separate and give myself an opportunity to work on myself without the constant need to fix our marriage. It’s broken, it has been for a long time and he admitted that for a long time I’ve been the only one trying. Now, he wants to try, he wants to fix things, he wants to promise to give me all the things I’ve asked for for years, and it fucking stings. Why did it have to take years and me leaving before he did the right thing? He keeps trying to say he wants to know if him trying is wasted efforts, if I’m going to leave him fully anyways he wants to just call it quits right now and get papers, but he says that if we are going to work things out we shouldn’t even separate because he can’t fix things if i push him out. Thing is, i feel like if i take him back right away, what does that say about my own self respect? I know it would be easier, but i will always wonder if he truly finds me attractive or loves me because I’ve literally been questioning that the whole time. Because of our open relationship, i had a date a few weeks ago and truly felt the difference once again in how it felt to passionately be with someone who actually wanted me and i can still feel the difference and it’s changed the dynamic and he can feel it. He finally talked to his family about what was going on and he’s been owning up to how verbally abusive he’s been, but everyone is saying that because we’re married and have kids we should be working things out, but not separating and that I’m an ass for not understanding that all his anger was from stress and stuff and we made a promise to work things out no matter what....but i have been living literal years in a hellish relationship where i was not wanted, how do i take him back without that being addressed somehow someway? I don’t want to ignore all my years of pain, and does he really deserve me when I’m at my best when he didn’t want me at my worst? Am i really an asshole if i don’t ‘let him show me he can be better’ and give him a second chance? There’s so much more at play here and specific instances of where care should have been shown and wasn’t, and I’m literally all on my own with no fam or friends so this is literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I do love him, but i need to love me too and i don’t know if he even realizes he’s never fully let himself love me.
TLDR;
Metaphorically speaking, pulled my husband kicking and screaming all along the way in our relationship for the past few years and finally had enough yelling and let go, only to find out once I stopped trying to drag him with me he was willing to do it himself and I’m being called the asshole for not wanting to give him a second chance right away. It’s literally been a week.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
j3Se6Y5buKPFhkHpX5W9P93NK4JPQbWE
|
a6wc88
|
{
"description": "not completely removing ties to my ex from my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not completely removing ties to my ex from my apartment?
|
I was with a girl for a long time. Over a decade (28 M) so I was pretty much with her my whole adult life.
She moved out seven months ago and over time I realized she was right to do so. Dead love couldn't go any further.
Fast forward to today.
New girl (who I really like) asked why I have a dozen dried roses hanging on the wall of my bedroom.
I got them for my ex years ago and now I just like how they look .
This prompts a discussion that becomes an argument.
"Why do you still have those roses? Why do you have pictures of your ex in the living room. You still love her." Etc.
I put all of the pictures of my ex and I into storage months ago and the only ones left hanging are FAMILY photos that she just happens to be in.
New girl wants the roses and pictures gone but the roses are pretty and those are just family photos that my ex happens to be in.
I refused to take down family pictures and a decoration that I like because she has a problem with them.
We're still in a disagreement about this.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
N0HgkFzAUBhLpqrmhL4U8j1OvLiYoR0N
|
b3rfn7
|
{
"description": "leaving my gf over her religion",
"pronormative_score": 60,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I leave my gf over her religion?
|
My gf is Swiss with a Saudi background. When I started dating her, she was mainly secular and called herself „on-paper-muslim“. Everything went fine and all, but recently she found her faith again and even started wearing a headscarf (mostly covering the hair, not everything).
Now, I don‘t give a damn about anyone’s religion as long as they don’t shove it in my face and I respect people with conviction...
But while I respect her for her choice, I don’t want to be in a relationship with a religious person. It’s less that I don’t like religion but more that I feel worried about having someone with a collectivist mentality next to me (all religions are collectivist to the core). I will never sacrifice my (or in the future my children‘s) freedom to external rules. Sure my children might as well become christian extremists, but that‘s their own problem, I‘m not going to adapt to other people‘s restrictions (e.g. in this case I‘ll still eat pork lol).
I’m going to talk with my gf about her faith and what she actually believes this evening. If she can accept my way of life and my (admittedly sometimes lacking) morals, that’s fine with me, but if I find that she wishes for a different kind of family life, I‘m out. When I told my best friend he called me an islamophobe for this. WIBTA if I leave her? (Not that it would change anything, but I‘m curious what the general consensus in society is).
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 27,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 33,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 60,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
RFiFcDIZyCrMTdzAzWqo0CiX4H5IfHJF
|
9zsqzv
|
{
"description": "refusing to accept a former S.O.'s new boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to accept a former S.O.'s new boyfriend?
|
Hey guys, I'm going to try and simplify this as much as I can. I just transferred colleges and left behind a lot, but it's better for my own well being this way. Last year I grew quite close with a girl but it regrettably never became anything serious because we both knew I was leaving after that semester. This summer she confessed that she really fell hard for me and I told her I felt the same and that I was sorry things couldn't be different. Flash forward to this semester, she is dating a new guy and I couldn't be happier for her. However, about 3-4 weeks ago she calls me crying and tells me that he's been abusing her both emotionally and physically and she doesn't know what to do. I tell her to cut him off, and that it's not worth it. She tries but he somehow drags her back in. Last monday I noticed she had deleted me on social media so I texted her asking what that was about, she says he made her delete me because he was insecure that she used to love me. While I no longer am in love with her, I still deeply care about her well being and tell her that he's crossed a line and that no one comes between friends like that. She tells me that "he's trying to change" and that "he's made me realize I have my own problems too". I think it's him manipulating her and I tell her that. It escalates to me saying (and this is a direct quote) "Morally, I can't pretend he's good for you, sorry dude. And if you're going to pretend he's alright, then you do you, but I'm not going to do that and I'm sorry if that means you won't talk to me anymore but I'm standing by my verdict from everything you've told me". Since then she hasn't said a thing, and has deleted me once again. I'd hate to lose a friend like this, but I stick to what I believe is right. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
TBFw6GbdFn37Y9lc6teecirnRNHBu1MC
|
aeiy4m
|
{
"description": "hiding from a disabled kid at work",
"pronormative_score": 125,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for hiding from a disabled kid at work?
|
I work in an open insurance office, my desk is the very back one and not visible from our doors. We are open to the public so policyholders can come in.
For the past 2 weeks, nearly every day, a kid about 18 comes in. He is severely mentally disabled. He has taken a liking to me. The first once or twice it was fine, I played it off. He asked if I was married, why I wasn't married, can I be his girlfriend, do I want to kiss him, where is my ring at etc.
No, I can't be your girlfriend, I'm engaged, I don't always wear my ring because I don't like jewelry etc.
He leans over my desk and tries to touch me or sit by me and it impedes my work and makes me super super uncomfortable. He doesn't smell very good and acts the way a small child would. He reaches for my hair, leans over me, asks me to kiss him etc.
My male boss has said something to him a few times along the lines of "Hey buddy, thanks for stopping by but you need to leave so we can get some work done."
Now, he still shows up but asks if the boss man is here or if he will get in trouble.
So the other lady up front by the window warns me. I grab my phone and run out the back until they text me it's OK go come back in. Sometimes this takes like 20 minutes because he wanders the office looking for me.
I feel like a huge peice of shit for hiding from a mentally disabled kid. I don't know if he knows better or not. But I can't be spending a half hour a day being uncomfortable and not getting work done, or hiding.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 117,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 125,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
TbOmCVR4gsejBfL3x9uelJO7AIrJMHPG
|
alub8s
|
{
"description": "avoiding talking to my mom about colleges",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for avoiding talking to my mom about colleges?
|
Freshman and sophomore year I didn’t care about college. I avoided homework, didn’t really study and all of that brought my GPA down to the point where I can only get to a 2.9 if I were to get straight A’s throughout the rest of my high school time.
So, I was thinking of going to a community college, to save money, and to bring my GPA up so I can go to a more competitive and “prestigious” school.
But Every fucking time I bring up any sort of college she says stuff like “your giving up” and “I hate your guidance consoler because she’s giving you the wrong colleges” and if I try to argue she gets really pissed off and will interrupt me when I try to say shit.
This resulted in a few arguments and now I’m going to apply to colleges without their help. And whenever my mom (or dad) brings up colleges I simply don’t reply and change the subject, because I want to make a choice for myself based off of what I think would be right for myself. And they’ve claimed that it’s sorta wrong and rude for me to not talk to them about this because they think that they will pay for it partially (I’m not going to let them). So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ntxpOrvLjSVnGDmTO8pZsJtw7ujGziNB
|
apvgi1
|
{
"description": "losing patience waiting for my gf to be more healthy looking",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 30
}
|
AITA for losing patience waiting for my gf (f28) to be more healthy looking?
|
My gf of 1.5 years is a little on the healthier side. She was relatively smaller when we first started dating but then she put on a few over the course. After a few months of staying quiet, i broached the subject that I wanted us to be more active and made a lot of plans for outdoor activities, which means she has to get in shape to enjoy them. She got the hint and was enthusiastic in making plans but after a day or two of working out very lazily, she would just give up. This has repeated 3/4 times so far. Every time it's the same pattern. It has really started to bother me and we even had a fight the last time because I suggested she should go to the gym at least once a week. I am getting tired of bringing up the same topic (i feel like i am nagging) but not seeing any results. She is quite busy with work and travel. But it doesn't take too much to workout in the confines of her own home for a few minutes a day. I even got her resistance bands she can carry when traveling for work. I am really frustrated just thinking about it. Other than this, I love her. I also do not conform to the notion that if i love her i should accept her as she is. No. I want her to live a healthy lifestyle and not end up facing any health issues because of her lifestyle.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 30,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 30
}
|
WRONG
|
XhTLvMY9PqY5JZBQmfs9b4qZwqepZFQO
|
ak5e2b
|
{
"description": "wanting my husband to pay for my daughter's college tuition",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 61
}
|
AITA for wanting my husband to pay for my daughter's college tuition?
|
I married my current husband seven years ago. He has three children from a previous marriage and I have my daughter from a previous one as well. Two of his children are in college right now and one graduated in May, and my daughter is starting high school in August.
I really want my daughter to go to a top tier school as my daughter has stated many times she wants to either go to John Hopkins, Stanford, NYU or Columbia. My stepchildren go to state colleges.
Yesterday, all of us were together for a birthday when I mentioned my daughter, M would start SAT classes. My eldest step son J remarked that he and his sisters B and R never took SAT prep and did just fine. This led me to discuss how M wants to go to a prestigious school that would demand a higher testing scores.
This led B, who for context purposes is always trying to start a fight even on a family occasion, to ask how M would get scholarships to go live somewhere and go to school at private colleges. Their father/my husband refused to allow his children (with agreement with their mother) to send off to private or out of state schools due to the high tuition.
So, it would not be that far fetched that now, with his children locked in their current schools that both of their parents wanted, that my husband and I would send my daughter to a nicer college. My ex-husband have not discussed yet what we would like for M, but my ex husband does have two kids with his new wife. I think my ex-husband would be fine if my husband and I paid for M's college tuition and expenses.
B hitched a fit that it wouldn't be fair for her siblings and herself if M got to go out of state. I told her that paying for three children to go out of state would be a lot of money, but that just paying for one is not as expensive. Also, I reminded them that their own mother agreed that they should stay in state for the lower tuition. B argued that her mother is still unmarried and could not afford the costs, so I had to repeat AGAIN that three children out of state is a heavy burden compared to one. I also said that her father and I share finances so sending M to SAT prep and other things is my right to do. If my husband had wanted his children to go out of state with our money, I would not have been mad, which I told my stepchildren. It's really a matter to discuss with their own parents; not me. B then called me an ass, to which I told her to not use language like that.
B told me I was being inconsiderate, so I had my husband ask her to back off and calm down to which she refused.
B, even though she's an adult, acts very immaturely with her stepsister and always has, ever since we got married. B is eight years older than M but acts younger. I am taking her comments with a grain of salt, but I would like to gain outside opinions on this.
B and her siblings were quiet the rest of the evening, and B was probably trying to stir up more drama as it is. I'm getting tired, frankly, of how she is constantly undermining me in front of everyone when I'm really just trying to better my daughter's life. It's not my fault my husband and his ex-wife would not send their children out of state. His children act very entitled to our money but the way they conduct themselves causes me to doubt they really want a relationship with their father and instead just want our money. It's all about money to them. I know they are happy with their current education, but the second M gets something remotely nice they all freak out on me.
So, do I really deserve to be called an ass when it's not my fault they're jealous and acting entitled?
Please feel free to give any insight about this so maybe I can try to communicate with B better.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 59,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 5
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 61
}
|
WRONG
|
fYjJOCVMrQLebHbCvoqcrTPD29yPaBqn
|
ap86c9
|
{
"description": "being in a relationship when I don't know if I'm in love",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being in a relationship when I don't know if I'm in love?
|
Obviously using a throwaway acct
Last year I(19F) started dating my current BF(20), who we will call Mike. Mike and I were friends throughout most of high school, but we started dating senior year. Fast forward a year and we are both in local(but different) colleges and thinking about getting an apartment together. Mike is really excited and saying its the "start of our future" but I don't feel the same.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking of leaving him. I just don't see a future with him and honestly, being with him doesn't feel the same as my past relationships. He makes me happy, he's sweet, all the good qualities but I don't feel the same rush of emotions, the butterflies, etc.
I'm scared that I don't love him. Or if I do, that me not seeing a future with him will lead to us breaking up. Like I said, Mike is the sweetest guy I know and I don't want to hurt him by giving him false hope. So naturally, I turned to my friends and confided all this in them.
A couple of them said I an asshole, and that I shouldn't be leading Mike on. They said that I'm being a horrible friend/gf for continuing to date Mike, for making him think that I love him, when I don't know if I do. But am I? Like I said, it isn't like I'm planning on breaking up on him. I adore the time we spend together and I don't want it to end when nothing is really wrong.
So AITA for still being in a relationship when I don't know if I love him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
CuvCf6gHhfQ9xOlEEoNGs60AoEIfTNQP
|
aynz17
|
{
"description": "allowing a crippled person hold the door open for me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for allowing a crippled person hold the door open for me?
|
So essentially what happened was I was walking up to school and this crippled girl got to the door before me and 2 other people and held the door open us. A woman then ran up and yelled at us for not holding the door for her instead.
Although, I feel like I can’t be in the wrong because she insisted on holding the door open but at the same I feel like I screwed up. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
5nKajRiAGBxrd0MC91q29tI40X0mnb3p
|
b4is2o
|
{
"description": "wanting to see my dying grandpa before he dies",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to see my dying grandpa before he dies?
|
Got a call from my cousin that our grandpa was put on hospice (end of life care) and is not expected to live longer than 2 weeks.
I've quickly planned an 8hour round trip (one day trip) to see him alive. It's been 10 years since I've been to see that side of my family and I'm definitely considered one of "the black sheep" i.e pastors abound in my family -im a satanist.
AITA for wanting to see him before his death, and not going to the funeral/wake?
TL;DR grandpas dying - I'm going to see him before his death -have no intention of seeing him dead in casket..AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Yiy5JD05GE9bP3X9Nj6q5YtRvyeA7mKz
|
b5yjjx
|
{
"description": "reporting someone for saying they would plagiarize me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting someone for saying they would plagiarize me?
|
People:
Red: Me
Blue: Teacher
Green: Other student
Ok, so context. In my chemistry class, we had a semi-major lab report due Sunday at 11:59pm. Lab partner asks me over a discord group chat to send him my report, and I agree.
Other student (OS) then says "ill copy paste yours | thank".
Me, being surprised, then go on to explain how that's plagiarism, etc etc. Conversation -> https://imgur.com/a/g2KeAZi
I then go and email my teacher, asking for her to preserve my anonymity, and I go on to explain the situation. The subject of the email was "[name of other student] and plagiarism." Email -> https://imgur.com/a/tiWZooX (apologies for countable pixels)
Now, FFW to the next day, OS messages me saying
>“[name] and plagiarism” lmaooo you fuckin rat
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bDO22ZUsddD9tgF8ceSVj7P3xyFAUsCq
|
a6lrri
|
{
"description": "not letting people copy off my tests",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting people copy off my tests?
|
So i’m in high school.
admittedly, i get pretty good grades. I try to keep up with the lessons and understand the material, which leads to me getting good test scores most of the time.
but, some of my friends, like most high schoolers, could not give a single shit about the actual class as long as they get the test grade and barely pass.
so people always end up trying to copy off of my tests. but i mean...i worked hard to understand this shit. i actually do the class and homework and ask questions when im confused and am not on my phone the whole class while basically telling the teacher to fuck off when they ask the class to put up the phones.
so i pretend to “accidentally” hide my scantron under my test/cover my answers with my arm. and i’ve gotten some of my friends mad at me for it. but i honestly feel like everyone should work for their grade. if they need help on the material, i’ll always help, but cmon dude, i worked for this test. is that cocky of me?
am i the asshole for not letting others copy off of my tests?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
IcEZETIxfeaHCHMpjdPh9BLZGz5pHISc
|
ax2ods
|
{
"description": "cutting my dad out of my life and not talking to him for a year",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cutting my dad out of my life and not talking to him for a year?
|
So a year ago my dad and I got into a fight. I never liked his girlfriend yet he tried to force her onto me despite it by inviting her to a family party around Hanukkah.
When I found out about this I was made for two reasons. The first is that he knew I actively disliked her for a few reasons and the second is he was planning not to tell me but I found out by overhearing it. Moreover he was planning on inviting her daughter, again without my knowledge. Now as a child of divorce in general, I am not crazy about either of my parents partners (I don't like my moms BF either), but this case was especially bad since I hadn't even met her (my dad's GF) daughter before this. We got into a fight and I went to my mom's for a while.
Now after this my dad and I made up temporarily, but the fight happened again and then we made up again. This cycle happened a few more times until it escalated. One night during a fight like this he decided to yell at me and tell me that "I don't care about my family or him" and that I should "become less of an asshole". Now at the time I was 14 and I was terrified. I immediately tried to leave his apartment and head home, but then the major incident happened. He tried to block my way from leaving, and then when I tried to get past him he pushed me, and I don't mean like a soft push, I mean an across the room falling down push (he was at least a foot larger than me at the time). I felt like I was in so much danger that I grabbed my bag and left without my laptop or any other possession there.
I haven't been back there since.
A week later he decided to pop in for an unannounced visit and this would be the last time I would ever talk to him. We argued again and this time he decided to tell me that if I couldn't accept GF and Daughter into my life then I was not welcome at his place. He did not apologize for anything he said or did, but he did apologize for how I reacted.
I did not accept his apology.
Since then he has tried to visit me a few times but I refuse to talk to him, he sent me a few letters and in one he basically admitted to trying to stalk me while I was at school, I no longer felt safe in that neighborhood after that.
So Reddit, AITA for no longer speaking to my dad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
tvSGkEzQQuvefv1JEEKv7Y1J4CIs3Qm8
|
ag9kcz
|
{
"description": "not getting a flu shot",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not getting a flu shot
|
This ones pretty simple. I have a deep pathological fear of needles. I’ve been known to faint after getting shots or an IV put in. Even just thinking about them while writing this post makes my hands clammy.
But I also recognize that herd immunity is a thing and is very important for those who can’t get a vaccination.
I used to get the nose spray but some years ago they stopped giving it and haven’t gotten vaccinated since.
So, Reddit, AITA because I’m unwilling to face that particular fear?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
X4dZNuEJQdemLbfrh3o70GjS45ef5zBH
|
9ydh73
|
{
"description": "saying yes to a group member who wanted to do my part of the project",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for saying yes to a group member who wanted to do my part of the project?
|
It was the night before it was due and yes I know procrastination is bad. My grade in the class is a C so I can see why this A student would want to write my part of it. I had planned on spending a few hours writing my part which was only 2 pages so it’s not like I wasn’t going to work on it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
pnIT2qFU4gYKUpkNdnQNMI6IkWP9PTe4
|
aadrq2
|
{
"description": "refusing to wear jeans around the house",
"pronormative_score": 41,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to wear jeans around the house?
|
My mom, my son, and I all live together. Recently (the 23rd) my mom moved a male friend of hers in (not dating but I think she wants to). He's been changing things here and there and most of it is minor and I can deal with it to not have it be a fight with my mom (she has been letting him do whatever he wants)
Today my mom comes and tells me I need to put pants on. I tell her I am in pants. I had on orange sweatpants and a long sleeved black shirt. She tells me it's not good enough that he is uncomfortable with me being in pajamas all the time and I need to go put on jeans. Now if I was in shorts and a tank top or something sexy I would understand but I'm not. I honestly don't see the big deal about sweatpants.
I straight up tell her I am not comfortable in jeans around the house and I will not be putting them on. She begs me not to make this complicated for her. I love her and I appreciate what she has done for me but why should I be uncomfortable so he isn't. I again tell her no I only have 3 pairs of jeans for when I go out and I am not wasting them around the house (we have to go to the laundrymatt in town and at best we go once a week). I never wear anything inappropriate at worst it's lounge pants and a t-shirt.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to wear jeans around the house?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 41,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 41,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ab6BTZxCFALOm4nBil4g5z3dVevay2oS
|
afck4m
|
{
"description": "forgetting to mention a plan",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Forgetting To Mention A Plan?
|
AITA? So I got into an argument with my girlfriend. Its Wednesday afternoon and I just read an advertisement for a local game shop having a learning/tournament for a card game. I thought it would be cool to take my daughter and its definitely not something my girlfriend or her duaghter would be interested in sitting through. So now its Wednesday night and I just got home from work. I start to get settled in and my girlfriend says to me, "hey so I was thinking we have a game night on Saturday....." and then I interrupted her and said, "oh, Saturday, remind me to tell you about something". She said, "What? Did you have plans already?" I said, "I just read about this game day on Saturday I was thinking about taking (my daughter) to and it wont interfere with game night you were talking about." This is where I feel things got unnecessarily heated. She became indignant and said, "I guess myself and (her daughter) will just sit here and twiddle our thumbs." I said, "well id invite you but you guys would be bored out of your mind sitting there for a few hours watching her learn." To which she replied, "I like how you made plans and didnt even tell me." Im thinking really?? I just found out about it today and forgot about it. Then when you said Saturday, the light bulb went off and I brought it up. Apparently that caused a bunch of other crap to come out about how I dont include her and her daughter and I keep them at arms length, etc etc... Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
6AMfliASbBuodxuH20yuSYyfY4QsMTmB
|
b9vt89
|
{
"description": "not inviting my extended step family to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I don’t invite my extended step family to my wedding?
|
Throwaway for this because my normal account is fairly public...
Hi guys, I’m in a bit of a pickle. My now fiancé recently proposed! Yay! And now I’m in the throes of wedding planning (less yay) for summer 2020. Recently we’ve been budgeting, looking at venues, and talking about who we want to attend, and so on. We’ve got a few venues picked out to tour and a rough idea of how many people we want to invite for a fairly small wedding. I was talking to my step-mom about who from my family I was inviting. My mom’s side is pretty estranged from each other, and my dad’s side is fairly spread out. A lot of my dad’s side sent us save-the-dates inviting us to their weddings/celebrations and while I couldn’t attend (money, school) my dad and eventually step mom did (to a few). I would like to extend invitations to those counsins/aunts/uncles moreso in politeness than anything (and I’m making sure I’ve budgeted appropriately in case they do (and I would love them to)). My step mom asked about her side, and I was very honest that I didn’t plan to invite anyone other than her and not her nieces/siblings as I don’t feel super close to them. This was all I said to her but she’s taking it as an attack on her and her family which was not my intention. I didn’t think this would be a big deal.
We aren’t close. We met as adults. I didn’t grow up with them (unlike my dad’s side). I see them 3-5 times per year tops. She is taking this as an attack on her/her family. It’s not that at all. Additionally, I haven’t attended any weddings on her side/never have been invited including one coming up this year - the wedding itself is a destination wedding but they’re also having a celebration in our town. We just aren’t close and weddings are expensive. I would much rather have the space/budget to invite the people I have that closeness too.
I’m a big jumble of emotion right now. Her argument is why bother inviting my cousins/aunts/uncles from my dad’s side if they likely won’t attend anyways and it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to see them. I still talk to them. We text/message on the regular. I don’t talk to her nieces or family like that :(
TL;DR - Not close to step family, somewhat close to extended family, step mom is angry I’m not inviting them when I haven’t been invited to anything on their side :( Am I the asshole in this case?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
6o8K0lZkzBEgiigd3S2FPidUnsh7VQn7
|
aryq46
|
{
"description": "not wanting to remain friends with my ex-girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to remain friends with my ex-girlfriend
|
To start off at the beginning i (20) met this girl (17) through a mutual acquaintance of ours.
After that we would sometimes meet randomly on the street, and we would also see each other in a bar i frequent.
So eventually i get her number and we go out a couple of times and somehow we hook up, and right off the bat we both agree that we're not looking to be in a serious relationship but after a few more nights out she wanted a relationship and i told her the only thing i really want is loyalty and i have no issues with whatever else shes doing as long as its not harming her health.
Somewhere along the lines i found out shes bisexual and somehow she grows colder over time and she breaks it off because she feels suffocated but she said she wanted us to be friends to which i agreed at that time.
Time passes and we get closer again and she really starts to confide in me, really telling me all her secrets, and one of the things she tells me is that shes in love with her straight girl friend, and she mentions how she find other people attractive. Now i really tried to understand and be there for her because shes still in her teenage years and constantly try to remind her that im there for her and that she can trust me.
Now a couple of days back we made out and the next day she tells me how she feels im using her, how she doesnt trust me, and i took it very calmly because deep down i know im not the best person but what irritated me is how she thought im using her and how she doesnt trust me when basically everytime before touching her in a more intimate way (and dont worry i know shes under 18 so we didnt have sex nor really anything close to it) i asked her if shes okay with it.
After that i found out the girl shes in love with is single now and she shuts me down completely.
Now all of a suddem she doesnt like me and isnt interested in me when basically the night before she told me she loved me.So after that she told me she wanted us to just be friends to which i flat out told her "No" because i dont want to do that to myself.
Now i really want to be there for her because she really is going through some very messed up things (and i mean very messy, from a family situation to mental illness, and more), but at the same time i have to consider myself and my feelings as well.
So AITA for this ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
qcjtsdroCeg6WKt2JtYiMFHhPcWn7fEM
|
ar0mu0
|
{
"description": "giving my wife a bad gift and getting upset when she rejected it",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for giving my wife a bad gift and getting upset when she rejected it
|
LTR/FTP - Throwaway Account
This Wednesday, my wife gave me my Valentine's day gift early. It was a gift bag with some candy, hand lotion, restaurant gift card, and a balloon. It was cute and thoughtful, although it was really just a few things she picked up the day before. Feeling appreciative, I gave her half of my gifts early. It was a cupcake/cookie carrier she had on a wish list, and I filled it with a bag of her favorite candy. I didn't bother wrapping it since it was a bit large, and it did have a cute card inside. She liked it and was looking forward to getting the rest.
Yesterday, I gave her a framed caricature we got two years earlier. Also I was worried that this wouldn't be enough (of a gift since she was acting so excited for it the day before), so I threw in a cash card that I had used to order the cupcake/cookie holder (but still had 70% of the original balance left). I also had an orchid that I had bought the day before. She hated it...
She hated the caricature. She told me that we had discussed hating it right after getting it, but I can't remember that. She also didn't like the cash card, since it was used and just a cash card instead of a gift card for a specific store. Finally, the orchid had gotten not into the best shape, and as I was taking it to our bedroom after, I fumbled it into the floor (although it was salvageable with just some mulch falling out).
She was silent, and I was honestly devastated. She started to explain the objections (listed above) but really just kept tearing into them. I got upset and she offered to cancel our dinner plans. I tried to keep it together, but she kept harping on the issues. It hurt because she had liked the other gift, and I had taken her out on an early Valentine's Day date (last weekend) that she had liked (and included other gifts). I just wished that as fair as her complaints were that she would just drop them.
I cooled off, so we started to drive to our dinner plans. She went into it again that it felt like I hadn't put a lot of time into my gifts and that they were just grabbed last minute and that I might say otherwise that they actually had planning behind them but this is just how she felt and that it made her sad and frustrated that she had given me a thoughtful gift. I didn't say anything, and when we made it to the restaurant we were seated at the best table they had. The night went well after that. We had a good dinner, and we haven't talked about the gifts since.
Today, she seemed fine going to work, but I've honestly felt spent emotionally. I had offered a cooking class as a makeup gift that she rejected (hoping to stick to our diets better post-Valentine's). I'm wondering what she is/isn't expecting me to do, and I'm just... like I said... spent. We had a fight two weeks ago (about a lack of intimacy from me) that had really just started getting over.
So, AITA for the gift, for getting upset, or otherwise?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
3Q1FFalQAp8d4qvAMvkVPO36OLqtsFTu
|
asphsd
|
{
"description": "calling out a guy I recently starting dating for ignoring me for hours",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 103
}
|
AITA for calling out a guy I recently starting dating for ignoring me for hours?
|
I met this guy through an online app, went on a date Saturday, things went pretty well, then we went out again on Sunday and we ended up having sex, Monday we texted a bit. On Tuesday I decided to have a little fun so I sent him a sexy picture in the morning, a couple of hours later he responded so I sent back a flirty text, then he sent me a picture of his own to which I responded with a flirty text of my own. This was at 2pm. He did not get back to me till 9pm that night, and I was feeling sad and rejected so I called him out on it and told him you can tell a lot by a guys responsiveness on how interested they are. He said his job is busier and much more demanding than most jobs out there so I responded with how it doesnt matter and how he doesnt owe me anything since we barely know each other but a simple text telling my he is busy and we can talk later would have been enough. He hasnt gotten back to me since. So am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 101,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 103
}
|
WRONG
|
N2qlkdRrMRjDZ4SAUjcx4AX1MNVXSxTz
|
9vfqyc
|
{
"description": "wanting to block a person with disabilities",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to block a person with disabilities?
|
Hey reddit. This is my first post ever. Please ignore my awful grammer. I'm a Junior in high school and 16 years old. My freshmen year this guy with disability's walked up to me (Lets call him S for story) and said "what's up Josh." I had no idea how he knew my name. Me not wanting to be an asshole I responded with "what's good dude." I had no idea who S was or how S knew my name but I went on with it for the rest of the year. Halfway through my sophomore year S asked me for my phone number and so I gave it to him. S then proceeded to text me a lot and I went with it not wanting to be an asshole. But the it started to get weird and very uncomfortable. S would start texting me multiply times saying " I miss you so much." "Can we please have a sleepover just the two of us." S facetimes me every night and if I don't answer like I'm not near my phone he keeps on calling until I pick up or just stops after 20 times. (not exaggerating) Please help because I don't want to be an ass but it has gone a little too far and making me feel uncomfortable.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FpHHC5VLDJAR1q1AWDYr6FKoYTzb6Bku
|
ash4pv
|
{
"description": "assuming my childhood friend and her mom were pro-vax",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for assuming my childhood friend and her mom were pro-vax??
|
So, I’m a frequenter of subreddits like r/insanepeoplefacebook and r/vaxxhappened because I find them both entertaining and aggravating. I’ll even listen to reddit readings on YouTube while I’m doing other things. My mom happens to be a NICU nurse (for those who don’t know that means she takes care of sick and/or premature babies), so I’ve had plenty of discussions on this subject. However, I’ve only ever discussed it myself with people who hold the same opinion.
​
Anyways, I was browsing my Facebook feed this morning and happened to see that my childhood friend’s mom shared an article titled “What You Didn’t Know About the Aborted Baby Parts in Your Vaccines.” I was shocked because I hadn’t expected to see something that looked like it came straight out of an anti-vax subreddit video on my own Facebook, much less from someone I’ve known for 18 years, but there it was. I skimmed the article and, of course, found it filled with claims like aborted fetal matter being in the chicken pox vaccine, that you can’t be pro-life and pro-vax at the same time, and lots of religious overtones (I am religious myself btw).
​
I commented on the post, asking her to please not share “fake news” and concluded with “don’t fall into the anti-vax trap.” I was a little harsh in my overall reply, but not rude. After commenting, I decided to message the friend whose mom it was that posted the article. I opened with “your mom is sharing anti-vax articles on Facebook,” expecting a funny convo or at least an interesting conversation. I wanted to know how she felt about it, but her response surprised me.
​
Apparently, her mom has always been anti-vax and my friend hasn’t been vaccinated either. I wasn’t expecting this, and it threw me for a loop because I had assumed she was pro-vax and had started off the conversation with an already negative undertone concerning anti-vaxxers. She asked what I expected her to do about her mom posting stuff like that I told her that I didn’t expect her to do anything, I just don’t like that false and dangerous information is being spread so casually. I told her I just wanted her take on it and she said that it’s her mom’s business and even if she didn’t agree that she would appreciate it if I didn’t come after her about it. I apologized and told her that I just have very strong views on the subject. She tells me off by saying that even if I don’t agree with something, I shouldn’t come off so aggressively, especially since it has nothing to do with her. I apologized again, saying that I didn’t mean anything rude by it and the conversation was left at that.
​
This exchange totally ruined my morning and I feel really shitty about the whole thing. I don’t regret commenting on the Facebook post and I still feel very strongly about vaccines, but I feel really bad about unintentionally involving my friend because I didn’t know she wasn’t pro-vax like me.
​
Am I the asshole in this situation??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
XjbiQcQGeH6SaMh8YA4UI8JGC0UsOCY1
|
ay5qa2
|
{
"description": "reporting a guy to the professor for continuous cheating",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for reporting a guy to the professor for continuous cheating
|
For starters this is my first post and am on mobile.
Every day I sit behind this guy in my math class and every test and quiz we take in this class this guy is either using some website for the answers or googling it. I have confronted him before telling him that cheating gets you nowhere. He still does it anyway and I finally had the last straw when he was bragging about his scores to everyone so on the next quiz I reported him to the professor. So AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kvnERBA1pf2MCuxxbbcbyEqmyrpn0YxT
|
ayvcv1
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend she's not beautiful",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 39
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend she's not beautiful?
|
This happened a while ago and is still causing problems in my relationship with my girlfriend - we are both middle aged. We’ve been together over a year but have known each other for decades and were close friends for a few years before we became involved.
We were having sex and she asked me to tell her she was beautiful. Some of her features are very pretty and many people would find her pretty. To me, “beautiful” is a whole different category. When I think of beautiful women, I think of women like old movie stars, perfect and unattainable. Kind of icy and distant. I told her this and she has been upset ever since. She's withdrawn sometimes and sex hasn't been the same. Sometimes she brings it up and cries. I have told her I am sorry that her feelings were hurt.
She doubts I love her, which is far from the truth. I love her very much. But I am pedantic, which is something she knows about me. I was being truthful and honesty is important in a relationship.
She is a wonderful woman, she is very warm and cares about me a lot. But she has a history of low self esteem and her few long term relationships have been with men who were jerks.
She thinks if I love her, I will think she is beautiful. I think if I love her, I will be truthful with her.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 38,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 39
}
|
WRONG
|
SYL2KtStS9HqFhwTPLBhV3cWXyg64nDf
|
9ya2lf
|
{
"description": "dumping my so-called \"friend\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for dumping my so-called "friend"?
|
So, basically, me and this girl were something like friends since 7th grade, where we first met. Now I'm 11th grade and we don't see each other often because she goes to another school now.
When she left, I was kind of relieved because she was not a good friend; she was extremely jealous of my success (e.g. good marks, etc), she was negative literally all the times, complaining about how hard her life is and how she hates everything.
She basically ruined my mood every day.
She also wanted (rather demanded) me to pay for her lunch. At first I was okay with that because I thought she didn't have much money, but that wasn't the case, she just didn't want to spend hers. If I didn't buy her lunch, she would be extremely upset and unfriendly towards me.
Another thing is that she did not respect any opinion other than her own, basically when I told her about my music taste, she just said how awful and bad it sounds etc. I respected her opinions all the times, because who am I to judge other's opinions on stuff? Whenever I confronted her about a this stuff, she denied and denied and I wasn't able to really talk to her about it.
So, to come to the actual point (sorry for the long text), she recently wanted to meet up with me for the weekend but I didn't really felt like meeting her. She texted me and sended me voice mails but neither did I listen to them nor answer her.
I don't plan to ever meet her again because of what she "did" to me. That's my question: am I an asshole for not wanting to meet her again?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lIxeJYsabrQaSIuZzkwP8WuG1C2UqfFf
|
ayzy7h
|
{
"description": "answering back to my MIL",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for answering back to my MIL?
|
So this all just happened but first some back story, my wife and i live at one of her grandmothers properties and we have 2 beagles, 3 cats and we just recently took in my childhood poodle because unfortunately my mom is struggling (we hadnt told MIL). So my wife and i had plans to go to target and get dinner after she got off work at 7:10 at around 7:20 when her eta is about 10mins i get 2 calls one from her sister and another from her telling me that her mom, dad and siblings were going to drop by although its sort of last minute im cool with it.
Wife gets home and soon after her family arrives as soon as they walk in they all see my poodle and start saying hello and giving her love and what not, all except MIL who get visibly upset and goes to say hello to my beagles. My wife goes with her and i stay in the living room with everyone else. i sit to play smash bros with her brother while her dad and sister give love to my cats and then i hear her mom start to complain and talk mess and then she lets the beagles in which normally is fine but not when she can visibly see that they're slightly muddy.
So my wife becomes upset and all MIL does is laugh and say ohh they just want love, i let it slide and keep playing with her brother and then she sits and starts talking and the conversation went like this :
MIL: so did you already eat?
Wife : no, we were gonna go to the store
Me: yeah we had plans to go to target and then dinner since its friday
Then i jokingly say that they are always welcome but need to give us atleast a one day notice before coming over and then i laugh and she responds with no youre not joking and we're not welcome and she sits down and start complaining about how we have too many pets and that we'll never be able to move anywhere else even though she knows we have plans to buy our own place in the next year or so and follows that with why did you take in the poodle why couldnt someone else take her or an animal shelter. As soon as she said animal shelter i got so upset i just blurted out thats so horrible at which point she got so upset she got up grabbed her things, ignored my wifes pleas to please sit down and just continue to talk and told everyone it was time to leave.
They leave and of course that leads to me and my wife arguing about it because she thinks that i shouldve kept my mouth shut all together and i think that MIL needs to take criticism as well as she dishes it out. What do you guys think? Am i the asshole here?
P.s sorry for formatting and wall of text. Im on mobile
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MZaMtfc0jeZKlhtP2YYCroHSELK2Sfg5
|
b930fl
|
{
"description": "correcting someone about my sexuality",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for correcting someone about my sexuality?
|
Essentially, I am a bi woman but married to a man. I have had sex with women and men before and I am confident in my sexuality. A person in my circle of friends implied that I was “playing up” my attraction to women to be “cool”; I took offense to this and called them out for being judgemental. They didn’t respond and another friend asked me why it was *so* important people got my sexuality right. I don’t think it’s important but I wanted to clarify that I *do* actually identify as bisexual and didn’t see it as something that was meant to shit oh other people’s rights and opinions?
Should I have handled that better?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
d2otoZSD3aJEAstQD57o8zNtep47zyzR
|
ajz0nf
|
{
"description": "burning the gift",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for burning the gift?
|
I once drew a picture of my ex-boyfriend's favorite "celebrity" (it was a physics professor from a university) and gave it to him as kind of a "thinking of you gift". He left it at my house, on the floor, not once, not twice, but three times so I burned it. He was at my house when I did it. I don't think he even cared. Maybe he didn't even notice.
It was one of the best drawings I had ever done. I spent upwards of 4 hours on it. Burning it hurt me, but no more than he had by not accepting it. Am I the asshole for burning it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
wMSFjKjY4cdHX4bK5AssaFh3bmP3lV6t
|
agabx5
|
{
"description": "threatening to end a friendship over anti-vaccination",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for threatening to end a friendship over anti-vaccination?
|
My best friend has recently let me know that they don't believe in vaccinations. I tried to sit back and let it be but the topic has come up several times including me asking if they intended to extend this to their children. They replied yes. To me this is unacceptable. This view is twisted and ill informed. I told them I refused to be friends with someone who was going to insist on this and to please change their mind. I feel like a complete asshole for doing this but I honestly cannot sit around and pretend this isn't happening. Being someone who wasn't originally vaccinated (when I was born there were quite a few vaccines that were proven to cause sudden infant death syndrome) and now is fully vaccinated, I understand where the belief stemmed from and also now know that it is a non-issue. I really don't know what the hell to do because I do not want this friendship to end but I cannot sit by and watch someone I love consciously make the choice to blind themselves to clear truth.
​
Throwaway for obvious reasons
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
QF34PQsp1cHmYsqPzTwZJW4u2WhiTa9b
|
abrhsy
|
{
"description": "wanting my parents to pay for the damage to my car",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my parents to pay for the damage to my car?
|
TLDR: My sister backed into my car (no functional damage, just some minor denting etc.) and she can’t pay for the repairs, so I assumed my parents would be paying.
Background:
I’m a college student, and just bought a car in August. It’s not new, but it’s my first nicer car that will hopefully last a while. I wasn’t originally planning on buying a car until after graduation. But a friend of mine got me a crazy good deal on one I really like, so I went for it.
Story:
I came home for the holidays pretty late at night because of my finals schedule. I parked in the driveway, where I always do, since there isn’t room in the garage. My younger sister, who has been driving for just about a year, had to work very early the next morning and ended up backing into my car as she was leaving.
Of course her car is larger than mine so it wasn’t damaged, but my car took a minor hit. The area near the gas cap is dented in about half an inch, as well as part of the fender/bumper (sorry, not super good with cars), and one of the bolts that secures the taillight snapped so it is sticking out a bit.
My parents told me about it later and my sister apologized. I took the car to a few places and got quotes on the repair (~$1200). I told my parents about the pricing, and asked them if they’d be able to have it fixed before I go back to school.
Well, my parents were very upset that I assumed they would be paying for the damage. They said after all they’ve done for me they couldn’t believe I got would let them pay.
This is the first ‘accident’ I’ve ever been involved in so I’m not sure how it should be handled. I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t make my sister pay for the damages, as she just recently got her first job and doesn’t have very much saved up.
But I’m not sure if I’m responsible to pay either. I don’t think I was at fault, however it is my car and I am the one who wants the car fixed even though it isn’t technically necessary. I still have a few years of college/housing left, so I probably wouldn’t be able to get it fixed anytime soon if I were paying.
AITA for wanting them to pay?
(Sorry for any formatting issues, I’m on mobile.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mkFge9bgelqqRRlNpEudsF1CP8uPbdRr
|
b4zhjc
|
{
"description": "cutting contact with my aunt",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting contact with my aunt?
|
I go to an online school now, and my aunt got a job there too. Receptionist I think. Teachers there are not required to put grades in as soon as an assignment is done, so completed assignments may go ungraded for 4-5 days. Near the end of each semester my aunt would get very pushy, and it was a little annoying, but still tolerable and understandable because from her end, she saw all these ungraded assignments. The really annoying part is that she would tell my mom, my mom would get mad, and then argue with me about how I'm lying to her. After a few more days, the grades would show up, and everyone would be happy again. 2 semesters in, I talked to my aunt about not believing the initial grade, and giving it another few days. Nothing changed for the next 3 semesters. This last one, she caused the biggest fight between my mother and I. That night I just took my daily and raced around some back roads for a few hours, came home, and stayed up til 1 am in my shop. Later that day I confronted my aunt, over text because she’s an hour away and didn’t feel like enough of a dick to call her during her working hours.
Me: **You need to stop dragging mom into your disbelief of my grades. I'm sick and fucking tired of fighting with her every single grading period because you tell her I'm failing classes and not doing shit. I understand it's part of your job to let her know, but try doing what you said you’d do, and give whatever grade you're seeing a shred of doubt before you go getting mom mad at me. This is the fifth time I've dealt with this bullshit.**
Her immediate response: **Stop acting like a 7 year old so I don't have to and we won't keep having these conversations. Because u do have an F in math. And you are going to have to take it again. Your fine in English and I told her that too. Trust me kid, you ate not the only one tired of thessle conversations. I want nothing more than to let you go. Sorry that I don't want you to fail. It's hard to watch and I cry a lot when you do.**
****
**I have a better idea. I am done. You're 17, you have it all figured out. I love you and i always will, but I am not your parent and this has ruined our friendship. So I am done. If you want help you can ask. Things have gotten too complicated and messy.**
**And I think that we shouldn't talk for the next week so we can both cool off. That's best.**
The spelling is exactly as it was in the texts. And it may not be necessary information, but she is an obese and single 30 year old living in a house paid for by my grandma and spends her paychecks on The Sims and City Skylines. Drives a Hyundai Sonata bought using my grandpa’s money, and has an anxious dog that she feeds pot pills to. I work on a farm and own a mustang, sunfire, and continental and plan on buying and restoring an old run down house after college.
The only reason I put that in is to vent a little bit.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CIMld404sPJw4uoitqwkVkIj8q8rj9l6
|
9zfxfq
|
{
"description": "talking to my good friend's sister",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for talking to my good friend's sister?
|
Basically, recently I started messaging the sister of one of my good friends. We had been talking for a couple of weeks and had meet up a couple of times when I suggested telling her brother (my friend). I said that I felt better telling him myself, she said the opposite, so I let her do it her way as it is her own brother. Anyway, fast forward a couple days and she tells him - he flips out pretty bad. When he sees me next he punches the wall and shouts at me saying how I went behind his back and am an awful friend. I just want to know wether I was the asshole for going behind his back, even though I did want to tell him but she didn't want me too; or did he overreact and is really the asshole for reacting the way he did?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
7VhG3PpqjjWWvhL88rR8CaVz0TNgj2JS
|
asspox
|
{
"description": "leaking diesel on a customer's drive",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaking diesel on a customer's drive
|
So we've been working at someone's house doing garden work and one morning I drove to the job in my car which I've been having problems with. I was aware diesel would drip out if the engine was running so I parked half on the pavement half on the road by the front of the house.
I work in a gang and I asked the "gang leader" if it was okay to park it there and he had asked if it was leaking - to which I said yes and then told me to reverse onto the top of the drive.
I should of insisted I shouldn't be parking there but listened to instructions and thought nothing of it until I had moved it later on and some diesel stains were seen on the tarmac & block paving which we tried to clean with Dr pepper & brick acid. This didn't work and has spread it onto the resin drive and I don't know if we will be able to remove all the stains.
Boss has said that I'm not allowed to drive to work anymore & however much it costs to fix it to the customers satisfaction (if he notices) will be coming out of my wage. This will be expensive on materials and hourly labour wages if the areas have to be dug out and refit.
Recently left school. Have some dumb moments, not a lot of money & outgoings I have to pay
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
wUWzSJfyIgP4OfhPyLQd9nMz9ep6TjYo
|
am7awc
|
{
"description": "thinking this might be sexual assault, or am I being too sensitive",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for thinking this might be sexual assault, or am I being too sensitive?
|
I (21M) met a girl (20F) one day at a function, and we sort of hit it off. Two nights later, we strike up a conversation, and she ends up coming to my place. Fast forward about an hour, and the two of us are making out. Up till now, things are going fine. At this point, neither of us have spoken in a bit, and she slowly reaches her hand down to my private area and starts to unzip my pants. At this point I'm not really ready for something like this, but admittedly I don't say anything or express visible discomfort, but she also hasn't asked me if this is ok. Eventually she fully unzips and tentatively but softly grasps my member from the outside of my underwear, then slowly (I guess because I haven't protested) seems like she's going to reach inside. At this point I'm uncomfortable enough to state that I'm not ready for that. She stops for a second then apologizes, but at this point I'm pretty upset and I zip up, then I ask her to leave. She looks visibly upset for a second but then leaves. The next day she texts back to check in, and I'm sort of feeling bad. I tell her that I felt pretty uncomfortable with what she'd been doing, and she says that I should've said something. I reply that I wished she'd asked first and not just presume and borderline assault me.
As soon as I send that text I regret it. While that was what what I was in the moment thinking, I feel I shouldn't have sent that. She immediately gets tetchy and says that I should just be communicative and not throw around words like that. I argue that she's the one who should be communicative. Predictably the conversation derails at that point and she stops responding
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
vSq8unzcVPajbQRXhjixSCgGS3pK85NI
|
a51fvr
|
{
"description": "getting upset when my SO makes jokes that aren't funny despite me telling him multiple times I do not like the jokes",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset when my SO makes jokes that aren’t funny despite me telling him multiple times I do not like the jokes?
|
I like to play video games, and he watches me play sometimes. Often he will criticize the video game and say it sucks and other variations of that. The thing is, it’s my favorite video game and I really enjoy playing it. But hearing him talk shit about it takes all the fun out of it. He does this a lot. He talks shit with no motivation? I will be sitting there minding my own business and out of no where says something rude and calls it a “joke”
I have voiced MANY times I don’t like it. I’ve gotten mad and shown him it really bothers me. It’s like he does it on purpose knowing it pisses me off, and then when I get upset he wonders why? And then calls me sensitive. This is becoming old very quickly. I don’t want to break up but I also don’t want to deal with that shit. It’s negativity that I really don’t need in my life. I just want to enjoy relaxing and playing video games with out hearing someone shit talk the entire time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5MhsY5xUm1y9KgfFsXzPAPp9lEvffy9B
|
b3ieob
|
{
"description": "smoking pot while taking care of my daughter",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I smoked pot while taking care of my daughter?
|
For the record, I have chronic pain. My daily average is a seven. For an idea of what I live with, my recent hysterectomy did not change my daily pain number at all. But even with the diagnoses of psoriatic arthritis I do not meet the criteria for pain control. It's so bad that some days it feels like induced labor hurts less. So I turned to medical marijuana (recreational just became legal, but I still get a card.) My husband knows what I live with, he's taken me to the ER when the pain was so bad I was screaming, and he had to practically carry me in. But now that he's back to work he seems bothered by the idea of me using it on the worst days. I'm trying to avoid it, but my options currently are excedrin migraine, CBD/THC salve, heat/ice, and dark rooms for the daily migraines. None of these are very effective, so I'm combining them, but that brings my number down by one, if I'm lucky. When I can manage to get it down to a six I'm on top of the world, I can get stuff done, I feel great. But the tools currently at my disposal make it hard because they don't work as well as I'd like. Plus once I'm back on meds for the psoriatic arthritis I'm not supposed to take the excedrin migraine, which is also for my migraines, which I'm also struggling to get treated. I'm honestly not looking to get massively stoned. I'm looking to help get me out of bed on the days the pain is so bad getting out of bed to use the bathroom ten feet away makes me cry. Basically rubbing some salve on+a small bowl (think a monkey pipe) are enough to bring it down to where I can do that without crying. But my husband seems upset by this idea. Honestly now that the bad weather is almost done with it won't be that often. But I'm still facing this massive block with him where he seems to think I'm terrible for wanting to be able to do things with less pain, especially with him wondering how chores will get done now. So AITA for wanting to do more than lay in bed crying on my worst days, and be a semi-functional adult?
TL;DR I struggle with chronic pain no one will treat, but my husband is acting like I'm an asshole for wanting to use mmj on occasion during the day when my pain level hits the non functional level.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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b91uqx
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{
"description": "going into the military while my family is in shambles",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for going into the military while my family is in shambles.
|
So I’ve been dealing with a lot of guilt, and people telling me I should stay to help my family. I’ve wanted to go into the Air Force for years now. I have stayed in my small town working a dead end job and going to community college. Not complaining about that lifestyle I just want to experience more while I’m young. My family is a disaster, pretty much always has been. My parents have always struggled with addiction and siblings as well. I’m the only one in my family who’s gone to college and wants to get out of our small town.
My dad was diagnosed with leukemia last year, a month before I was supposed to leave for bootcamp. I’ve stayed another year helping as much as I can but the doctors say he’s on track to be cancer free by the end of the year. He still guilt trips me saying I haven’t helped enough financially and that I should take over his business (which I know nothing about). I am just struggling. I’m scheduled to leave June 4th. I’m going to do it, just really wanted to know if its me being selfish.
Some of my friends support my decision and say it will be good for me. But I can’t help but feel guilt. I have a little brother and I want him to have it better than I did growing up. He seems to be going down the same path as my parents already though. I worry for him 24/7. I don’t want to act like his mom and tell him what to do. All I know to do is lead by example.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "reporting my upstairs neighbor to the complex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
WIBTA if I report my upstairs neighbor to the complex?
|
I just moved into a new appartment and my upstairs neighbors, who I have never met, are VERY loud and smoke pot pretty much every day. The smell comes through my vents and if I have the screen door open, it is very obvious. They regularly have screaming matches filled with profanities and banging and stomping around on my head. WIBTA if I rport this to the appartment complex, secretly hoping they get kicked out?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "expecting my husband to take care of the baby sometimes even though he works more than I do",
"pronormative_score": 103,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for expecting my husband to take care of the baby sometimes even though he works more than I do?
|
We had a baby less than six months ago and have no other kids. A couple months ago, we moved out of my parent's home and into a different city a few hours away. About a week or two after moving in, he took up a full time job (previously self-employed) where he regularly works 8 to 12 hour shifts. He gets maybe two days off a week. I am currently self-employed and I can only work when he's off since we don't have anyone to sit for her.
However, I'm finding watching her 24/7 to be exhausting. I have severe anxiety issues and recently went through some depressing events that have made it even worse. I feel somewhat disappointed in myself because this stage of her life should be easy, especially if I have nothing else to do all day, yet it feels like even doing basic chores is difficult. I've also been having anger issues that are out of character for me, and I get scared that I could end up hurting her even though I know I wouldn't do that.
If the baby is still awake by the time my husband gets off work, or on his off days, I beg him to watch her for a while. I feel bad for doing this knowing that he has worked all day, and I usually wait at least an hour or so for him to settle in and relax before I ask. A lot of the time, he'll usually point out that he's worked all day and I haven't, but I'm just so exhausted. I know he works hard but taking care of a baby on your own can be hard work too. I don't think I am expecting a lot, but I still feel guilty just for asking. (Personally, I don't think my husband is an asshole for not wanting to watch her after work.) AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "interacting with a child",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for interacting with a child?
|
I was walking through the grocery store the other day. At the end of the aisle was a mother and her 3-4 year old son in the cart. As the mother was doing her shopping, when I walked past, the little boy with a huge smile on his face waved at me and said "hi!!".
I waved back with a big smile as well and say "whatsup little man!"
Immediately his mother looks at me with a death stare and says "EXCUSE ME!! Do NOT speak to my son!!"
I apologized and walked away. I'm still dumbfounded by what happened. What did I say or do?!
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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ay0tr3
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{
"description": "not letting my bf meet his ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not letting my bf meet his ex?
|
After I told him no, I also found messages of him texing her about how immature I was.
This happend a few months ago and I still feel terrible about it and I honestly just want to know if I am in the wrong here.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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allfv1
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{
"description": "not going back inside and paying",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not going back inside and paying?
|
This is short, and not exactly life changing but it's something that's on my mind.
So basically, I went grocery shopping, and my total was $20.14, I only had $20's, so I paid the 0.14 on my card. As I was in my car organizing my cards, I noticed the cashier accidentally handed me my $20 back in my receipt.
I didn't go back in and correct their mistake...but honestly I feel like I should have. The only thing that isn't letting me be bothered too much is the fact that I shop a lot there, and that it's a major chain.
AITA for not correcting their mistake, even though I had a chance to?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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asb3ak
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{
"description": "not wanting to put my fiancé's name on a house bought with my Father's life insurance money",
"pronormative_score": 328,
"contranormative_score": 31
}
|
AITA for not wanting to put my fiancé's name on a house bought with my Father's life insurance money?
|
So just to give everyone a bit of context here, my father recently passed away and had life insurance, but because he passed away in his workplace me and my brother received more money than that of his life insurance policy.
This was 3 months ago and its only recently we've received payments.
So after a huge argument with my younger brother about how it's getting divided(as he also wanted to keep my dad's house as well as 50%) we eventually settled on receiving upwards of £300,000 each and the house on both our names.
Growing up and through my adult life I have always been independent but not always financially well off (earn around £24k per year) so having this amount of money is new to me but ever since receiving the money my fiance has been very suggestive as to how it should be spent (holidays, house, cars etc)
I agreed that some of the money should be spent on a house as that means I would not have rent or mortgage to pay in the long run, giving us our monthly earnings as extra income.
So whilst discussing this with my fiance of 2 years I said that I would only like the house to be in my name until we're at least married or have kids, but she totally freaked out at me calling me selfish and saying that I think she's a gold digger and that I don't trust her. I tried explaining to her that although it would be in my name she wouldn't have to pay anything towards rent and our cars so financially she'd have a lot more income from her work to support her, but she never wanted to listen. I tried again to reiterate to her and she hit out with "I don't feel like I would like to have kids with someone who doesn't trust me enough to put my name on our house"
This really got to me.
Before my father's passing we always had a mutual agreement that we would keep our finances separate as long as we both paid equally towards our rent costs and bills, So I don't understand how her views have changed now, even though she wouldn't have a penny to pay outgoings except for minor household costs she seems really persistent on being a joint owner of our house.
It's now 3 days later and I'm lucky if my fiancé has said 5 words to me since and is no longer answering my phone or texts.
tl;dr before inheriting life insurance from my dad's policy we had separate finances, now that I have it my fiancé wants to be part owner of the car and house we buy, AITA for refusing to do this before we get married?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
aood55
|
{
"description": "asking my husband to turn off the tv",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my husband to turn off the TV?
|
Husband wants to watch TV in the bedroom. TV downstairs in the living room is available. I want to go to sleep and need a dark, quiet room. We do not have an extra room or bed.
He says I’m being inconsiderate of his need to relax and unwind after a tough week. He says I could sleep on the couch downstairs as easily as he could go down there to watch TV.
I feel like sleep trumps TV time. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aq1hjb
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{
"description": "being snappy with my sister because she doesn't understand chemistry that well",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For being snappy with my sister because she doesn't understand chemistry that well?
|
Pretty much title. Also sorry if formatting is bad, I am on mobile.
Some background info: My sister graduated from high school last year, and I'm currently a sophomore in high school right now. She is pretty smart, and is on her last semester for community college. She then plans to get a masters in Biology.
So with this program at my high school, I'm able to take classes at my community college. Me and my sister decided to take a Chemistry 111 class together because I need it for the associate degree I'm going for and so does she. I just had high school chem last year, so everything comes pretty easy to me, plus the fact that I love the physical sciences, while she had that class about 3 years ago, and hates the physical sciences.
So every time we do partner work, she always ask questions, and I try to explain. She never listens to my explanations, or says she doesn't get it. It's gotten fairly annoying, as every time I try to walk her through it, she gets mad and says I'm treating her like she is dumb.
She borderline threw a fit when I started working ahead because I didn't want to wait for her to finish. She constantly ask me, "is this right?", on like every problem, and then gets mad at if I got it wrong. And every time I try to tell her to just trust what she has and stop asking me eveytime she finishes 1 problem she gets mad.
Am I being an asshole? Am I doing something wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
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acuidy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to sleep in my girlfriend's house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to sleep in my girlfriend's house?
|
I love my GF but everytime I go to her house I never sleep well and I end up cranky and tired for work the next day so I always try to push that we stay in my house which she is now annoyed about because she doesn't understand why we can't stay in hers. I feel bad for it and I do stay in hers when I'm not working till late the next day but if I'm in early I'll always insist we stay in mine.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b4cw5b
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{
"description": "wanting to jump while my startup starts sinking",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to jump while my startup starts sinking?
|
We're a small software company, through 4 rounds of funding, but still relying on investments as we haven't been able to sign clients. The few clients we have, 30% are stable, 30% are going out of business quickly, and the rest are unhappy and looking at competitors. Our company is very top heavy, so out of the 10 of us, I handle 30% of operations. Our most senior engineer is leaving in the fall as his wife is pregnant and he wants a job closer to come.
I'm having a lot of guilty thoughts about potentially wanting to jump ship to a more stable/less annoying job - most of my work is data analysis so I could leave my scripts to someone else to pick up, and write extensive notes on all operations to be used in my absence. I've been there a little less than 2 years, and our financial situation has been Rocky at best the entire time (at one point we didn't have an office and were encouraged to get paid in stock options).
I feel some loyalty to this company because 1) they're so small 2) most people that are there were hired before me 3) they offered me a job after I was laid off a second time and wanted to transition to analytics, understanding that it would take time for me to pick it up (now I'm wondering if they simply hired me because I'm cheaper learning than someone who is experienced) 4) like I said, the most senior engineer is leaving in the fall so he's already started transcribing his work notes.
I want to leave because 1) we are financially unstable 2) the benefits are bad i.e. I need therapy badly but can't afford it with the health insurance 3) the culture drains me - very quiet engineers cramped into a tiny room with no windows while I'm an extroverted female empath 4) my work doesn't interest me other than it can very occasionally be engaging 5) no room for professional development - I'd love to go to grad school or join women in engineer groups but I don't want to even ask because we're so broke 6) the morale is very bad lately -- we have been stuck arguing with some clients and it feels like that's all anyone talks about 6) one of the other engineer makes me very uncomfortable -- he literally screams on the phone when he is frustrated and no one says... Anything - it honestly gives me anxiety even thinking about it (had temperamental parents see therapy above ha) 7) one of the newer coworkers has begun harassing me and a couple other engineers because we didn't just March Madness in FRONT of management but nobody chimes in...
Dang I could go on, I apologize for ranting, I guess AITA for wanting out?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aungvy
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{
"description": "asking my grandad to stop vaping while me and my young sister are in the room",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my grandad to stop vaping while me and my young sister are in the room?
|
For context I live with my grandparents while my sister lives with my mum. It’s a long story why so I won’t get in get into that at the moment
So my grandad used to smoke before quoting and started to vape, I was fine with this and was happy for him until my younger sister was born. At the moment my sister is three years old and come over a lot and is always near my grandad and he is constantly vaping in her face and mine.
Now would be fine with him doing it near me (not my sister tho) however, he recently started using these incense things that make the smoke smell awful and since I have quite thick hair for some reason in lingers and my hair smells awful for the rest of the day unless I take a shower which I’d rather. It do when I have to get ready for things when I have already throughly showers in the morning
I have talked to some friends about telling him and are saying that I am being unreasonable and because I chose to be in there so I have to deal with it even though I still want to be able to talk to him without having smoke blown in my face
In short Would I be the asshole if I were to ask my grandad to stop vaping while me and my sister are in the room?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ayyn0h
|
{
"description": "demanding my fiancée take my socks off for me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for demanding my fiancée take my socks off for me?
|
So a little background. I love having my socks pulled off by other people (specifically my fiancée). It just feels really good. I like to have it pulled off by the toe slowly, so it slides inch by inch off my feet. However, sometimes my fiancée does not want to do this. To me, it’s just a simple little thing that she knows I enjoy so much and isn’t that much work for her to do.
This has started to cause some friction between us. I think she’s being inconsiderate by not doing this for me, and I don’t see what the big deal is about wanting her to do this for me every day after work.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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tkhrrIj7SGwAOV2VjBR1x1ckfdO0ZAr2
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a4l5pw
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to church with my family every single Sunday",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to church with my family every single Sunday?
|
Basically every single Sunday my parents wake up and wake me up so we can go to church. I’ve expressed my hatred for church numerous times. It is so boring, and I just straight up don’t believe in Christianity. I’m 100% atheist and they’re aware of this. I’ve told them before. For some reason though, every single Sunday, I’m still woken up at 8:30 and told I have to be ready for church in 30 minutes.
Honestly I’m just sick of it. It’s been going on for months now. As a kid my family never went to church and it’s like 4-5 years ago they just decided that we’re a good Christian family now and need to go to church if not every Sunday, then at least every Sunday we can make it to. I didn’t really mind it untill recently because I have a job now and am out late most Saturday’s and lazy ass Sunday mornings with cartoons and cereal in my bed is starting to sound real nice.
Honestly I don’t have anything against this church or even going to church on Sunday besides the fact that it’s a waste of a morning, I have to wake up extra early, and I just don’t believe in it. Every time I argue with my mom she always says “its family time church is one of the few times we’re all together as a family” which is just absolute BS. We eat dinner together as a family just about every single night, we do family game nights and family movie night, we go visit other family as a family together, we host parties and invite family friends over and spend family time together. We spend a lot of time together as a family. Not to mention that it’s church. We’re not going to go fishing as a family every Sunday. I wouldn’t be opposed to that at all because that’s actually fun and is actually spending time together.
I hate her argument because church isn’t about coming together and spending time with your family. It’s about praising and worshiping a god I don’t believe in. She doesn’t make me sing the hymns or say anything out loud, but she’s expressed in the past that she’d prefer if I did, and literally doing nothing but just standing for 30 minutes straight there isn’t much of a step up from singing some stupid hymns.
I’m just absolutely sick of it. We got in this argument yesterday where she basically decided that since I’m not 18, I don’t get to choose to go to church or not. I think that’s a terrible way to do things. I don’t think you should force your child to come praise some god he doesn’t believe in.
Idk. Maybe I’m wrong about all of this and I am the asshole.
TL;DR: I don’t believe in god but my mom makes me go to church every week because we’re “spending family time” and I’m sick of it.
|
HISTORICAL
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ax2feu
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{
"description": "getting mad that my boyfriend keeps giving our money to his siblings",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad that my boyfriend keeps giving our money to his siblings?
|
My boyfriend and his siblings have a great relationship. We all have a good time when together and I like spending time with them. He’s newly 18 and I’m 17. We’re saving up for an apartment, which has been difficult because for unrelated reasons we can’t get a job. But, we’ve managed to save quite a bit, enough to move out of my parents house.
He talks to his siblings everyday. We’re currently in his brother (20M) and sister’s (25? F) town visiting. They don’t live together and both have partners. His brother recently lost his job and is being supported by his girlfriend. His sister and her boyfriend have three kids and neither of them have a job. He also has another brother (23? M) who has three kids and doesn’t have a job. His girlfriend does.
So long story short, most of them time he talks to them, they want money. Usually it’s for a good reason so I don’t mind as much, because I spend our money on random things too.
His sister often says she wants it for diapers, food, etc. Same with his oldest brother. His other brother doesn’t ask as much but one time he asked us for $25 everyday for a week straight.
Each time we send money, there’s a $6.50 fee because it’s western union. So we’re spending $30-$35 every few days. Sometimes his sister asks for upwards of $60 which I really get mad about, because it’s just too much.
Here’s the thing: every single one of them is a habitual weed smoker. They need weed everyday to function. It’s a terrible habit that even my boyfriend has. So when they ask for money for food and diapers or whatever, I usually don’t believe it. I think it’s for weed. Because 3.5 grams of weed is $25 where I live. Why would they need $25 exactly for food or diapers or whatever?
I deal with it because I love his family and I love him, and I spend probably twice as much by ordering food or shit from amazon. But recently it’s just been really annoying and idk if I’m being an asshole or not. All three of them said they were going to pay us back for the most recent money we gave them. His brother said he’ll pay us when he gets his last paycheck. He just got it and we didn’t see a cent of it. He didn’t even offer giving any back. His other brother said he’ll give us some when he got his tax return. Guess what? Didn’t get it.. but here he is flaunting all of this stuff he bought on FaceTime. His sister swore up and down she’d pay us the $40 back when her boyfriend’s parents come. Guess what we got? $20 and a .7 of weed that we gave them..
I’m just fed up but second guessing if I’m overreacting. I don’t have a close relationship with my sibling as much so I’d never do this. Idk if this is normal, because when I express how they never pay us back and I’m tired of giving them money, he gets irritated and doesn’t want to talk about it.
AITA? Sorry this is all over the place. Kinda ranting I guess
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2KUvwoHQLL7iUdmJ0POFIQKkWr4Zk2DP
|
b4h7mb
|
{
"description": "telling the groom I won't pay him for stuff he bought me for his wedding as he didn't discuss it with me first",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling the groom I won't pay him for stuff he bought me for his wedding as he didn't discuss it with me first?
|
So my friend who we will call X asked me to be one of his groomsmen for his wedding. I was happy to be as we had been friends for years. Now a short time after this X asks me and our other friend (who we will call Q) about going shopping soon for suits as X had a cheap suit he wanted us all to get.
Me and Q were thinking it was a bit early for suit shopping and ended up asking, hey what's going on here? X told us at that point that the wedding would be in about 6-7 weeks.
X then dropped it on us that we would be paying for the suits. Me and Q were a bit wtf at this point because he didn't ask us, just told us. But we at the time let it slide because the suits weren't that expensive that he was looking at and we both agreed we needed new ones anyway.
Now when we went to have a look at the suits, they only fit one of us and they just didn't have any other sizes. So off we go on the hunt and eventually we get to a place that has suits that fit us, but were more expensive, which for me wasn't to much of a problem as I was working. But the groom paid for the other suits on the day and said Q could pay him back. I paid for mine and Q agreed he would pay back like $50 a week. While me and Q felt a bit off as again X had never once asked if we were happy paying this and just kinda forced it on us, we again agreed we could live with it as we both needed new suits. But we had been clear that we wouldn't be spending anymore than what we had just spent on the suits, we told this to X.
Things progressed and X was suddenly bugging Q a lot saying he needs to hurry and pay back the money. Q is like wtf as they had agreed to a payment plan.
X then starts adding more things that he has bought that we have to pay for (Shoes and such) even after we had said we were only paying for the suits. Me and Q have had enough and tell him that the suits were one thing but this is overboard now. We told X we wouldn't be paying for the extra stuff he had gotten as he hadn't discussed it with us. X wasn't happy and said he assumed I would be paying because I have a job. This pissed me off and I pushed back on how that doesn't matter.
By the end after talking he agreed we wouldn't need to pay for the extra stuff and Q could just make payments and then he left. The next day while i was working he texted asking if he could come pick up some wedding things he had left at mine, I said sure. Later I got another text from him saying that it was his day and me and Q couldnt be groomsmen (but seems we could still come to the wedding) and had returned everything he had bought for us. That he couldn't have groomsmen that weren't going to pay as he needed the money.
After this we stopped talking as X attitude during all that just tipped us over the edge and we were done with his selfishness.
So AITA for not wanting to pay for any of this and getting annoyed my friend kept adding things so we owed him more and more money? Without any discussion with us.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
9r1HUcSJ7A7SMej4MhXzRBbqSYH7NVQu
|
abn14d
|
{
"description": "giving a homeless man the half-eaten leftovers of my meal",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For giving a homeless man the half-eaten leftovers of my meal?
|
As the title suggests, I gave a homeless man my half eaten leftovers. It was a mostly eaten KFC Wing Bucket mixed in with some leftover chips. All of the food was stone cold but I thought that a homeless man would appreciate it anyway. My friends have been calling the the asshole because I "gave a homeless man my trash". AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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