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|
b2ahib
|
{
"description": "not being interested in him",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being interested in him
|
I've been texting this guy for a short while under the impression that we were just friends, he was a little bit flirty but i never thought anything of it as he seemed like the type of guy to do that, either way i never responded to his flirting as i wasn't interesed Not long after he basically tells me he had feelings for me and has had them for a long time ( we knew eachother for a couple of years but never really talked that much) i basically just say that I'm not interested and i would rather we stay friends which he says is fine . We keep talking and i notice he is still being flirty and I'm not sure how to describe it but he was coming off too strong and talking about my body which made me very uncomfortable which i didn't respond to at the time but like a day or two later he does the same thing and i basically just tell him I'm uncomfortable with this and he's response was kind of aggressive, he accused me of not accepting any compliments from him and that it wasn't anything special every girl gets that from him and i responded that i do not appreciate them and he said it's fine and that he won't do it anymore. We havent really had any meaningful conversation since I'm not sure what to do i like him as a friend but idk if it would be wise to continue being friends in this situation
Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
a7ov5x
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to an acquaintances NYE party over my best friends",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For wanting to go to an acquaintances NYE party over my best friends?
|
I've said I'd go to my best friends for new years eve, as she was super excited to have a few friends over.
The issue is that this party is shaping up to not be what i expected. There is ~20 people going, its a big extravegant piss up, and shes wanting everyone to give £20 for snacks and booze. However, I don't drink at all after some traumatic experiences at parties, I don't like loud pop music, and I'm extremely uncomfortable in the presence of strangers. I'm going to be the only sober person and I don't really want to pay for everyone's drinking habits.
I have a friend of my boyfriend who has invited us to his house for a small (free) 6 person movie night. Which will be nice and calm and my cup of tea.
Am I the asshole if I tell my best mate I'm going to this movie night instead of hers as just the thought of her party is making me anxious.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
acz1hu
|
{
"description": "being annoyed at my girlfriend for wanting to visit & stay with a male friend who's dad just died",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for being annoyed at my girlfriend for wanting to visit & stay with a male friend who's dad just died?
|
It's an old friend from school who she was VERY close with. Unsure if anything ever really happened with them, but his dad died the other day and she wants to visit him and stay w/ his family for a while to help him grieve.
I can completely understand wanting to support a friend in this kind of situation, but is staying over with them too far?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
"RIGHT": 3,
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WRONG
|
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|
a1vc8h
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{
"description": "only using an alternate gendered persona online",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for only using an alternate gendered persona online
|
I am male (21) and have approximately no real social life. If I had been brave enough I would have undergone gender reassignment years ago but I was too scared then and I am still far too scared now. Almost all of my friends are online only and mostly an ocean away. I've always introduced myself as female, I find it much more comfortable, and when I started talking to people over mic I changed my voice (my voice is particularly masculine so its not hard).
No ones ever questioned me on it and I tend to be very quiet and private (so no details to trip me up), and to my knowledge no one suspects. Am I an asshole for continuously lying to my friends for my own comfort?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
a856f5
|
{
"description": "getting on my roommate for leaving his clothes in the dryer",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting on my roommate for leaving his clothes in the dryer?
|
My roommate, who's also a good friend of mine will do his laundry, and leave his clothes sitting in the dryer when he goes to work. I end up having to take it out and put it in his room, so I can do my own laundry. I tell him not to do that but he can't fathom why that would be annoying and says stuff like "just take it out"
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
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"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b5sccs
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my girlfriend for getting her hair done on our anniversary",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend for getting her hair done on our anniversary?
|
So, like the title says, today is my anniversary with my girlfriend. We’ve been together for a year.
I had big plans for today, I wanted to take her to breakfast, and then go to a few places that are special to us throughout the day and then finish it with dinner and a movie. Instead, without my knowing until this morning, she scheduled a hair appointment to get it dyed or something, I’m not completely sure, but it’s going to take around 4 hours and her appointment wasn’t until around 2 PM. So she’s spending the morning getting groceries with a friend and then going to her appointment. It’s also important to know that her birthday is tomorrow, and that’s her reasoning for getting it done today.
However, I got mad at her, and explained that I had plans for us today, and I’ve been planning it for a while, and it hurt me that she decided to spend the day with her friend and doing stuff for herself.
She was very nonchalant about it, saying how it’s just a day, and we will have many more anniversaries, it’s not a big deal, etc. we argued for a while, and she’s now angry at me for making a big deal about it.
So Reddit, am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 6
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
az5jir
|
{
"description": "telling my friend it is rude to bring people outside our friend group to outings without warning",
"pronormative_score": 67,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my friend it is rude to bring people outside our friend group to outings without warning
|
I have this one friend who consistently brings other people to get togethers that our friend group does. Whether this is at a bar (which I have no problem with as it is a public space) or someone's home (this is where I have a problem). Then today I planned an extravagant brunch and cooked everything for it myself. I spent HOURS preparing and cooked enough for our 6 friends and to have some leftovers for my breakfast tomorrow then pulled enough plates, cups, and cutlery. He arrives first with two of his roommates, which he did not warn me ahead of time, if he did I would have bought and made more food I'm just glad I planned to have leftovers.
​
This aggravated me still though so when I had a free moment I pulled him aside and explained why I get annoyed when he invited people without warning. He said that he is really close with his roommates and likes to hang out with them. Now I understand this but I tell him that it is rude to invite other people over to someone else's home without their permission and if he did it again in my house I would kick both him and his guests out, then walked away.
​
I am now getting texts saying I should have just expected this from him and chalk it up as a personality trait but I don't think I that is a viable excuse for how rude it is to invite people into my home. I probably would have said yes if he had asked me first. So am I the ass here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 67,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 67,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
asrlat
|
{
"description": "singing on my friends track",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for singing on my friends track
|
MY friend was going through a harsh unexpecting breakup and after a few weeks he finally was making music like normal again. Then his feelings got hurt again, and made a hype sort of diss track. So me and a couple friends threw a lyric on. I said "Fuck that bitch" in reference to my friends ex. This dude has had a rough few weeks, and I was just happy to see him into something again. My girlfriend was mad and said put yourself in my shoes imagine if she was rapping saying "fuck men" it would hurt you. I never said that, and I tried to explain my point and my friends song. I basically got a K back. AITA (21/M/ In college for reference point)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
hL4l90vFZgpn3s0B17RhXldOBaYObUjX
|
9tyypg
|
{
"description": "expecting my mom/brother to jump start my car",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for expecting my mom/brother to jump start my car?
|
Less than a week ago, my mom calls me. She says she is extremely sick, debating taking an ambulance to er, because she doesn’t think she can drive to urgent care. I drop everything I’m doing. Kick my company out, call off of work (I was supposed to go back two hours later) and am at her house within 45 minutes. I also have a child. On the way I told her to do A virtual doctor visit. She did that. So when I got there (~30 min) they already called in the prescription. I had to go the pharmacy. Wait 30 minutes and drop it off. She seemed appreciative
Today I started feeling worse (been a mild cough) I go to virtual doctor and they diagnose me with the flu. I go to pickup the prescription with my wife and son, and the car is dead. I call her to ask her for a jump, she says she can’t do it. She says maybe my brother (who lives with her) can. I ask how far out on him she says “at least 30 minutes” indicating he would probably get ready and was not in a hurry.
I tell her don’t worry about it. I’ll call a tow truck. Then she tells me wife my brother has called a tow truck for me. Which is just like?! Why the fuck would he need to call one, it’s not like my phone doesn’t work.
Anyway, I am just so pissed at her, she also gave away my jumper cables to my brother (I bought them when I lived there and didn’t take them) and she seems to just completely dismiss it. She said “(brother) might have jumper cables, maybe he will do it”
So am I the asshole and just making too big a deal?
My plan is to not help her again when she is in a pinch. I dropped everything for her, and she can’t be bothered to give my a jump so I can pickup my meds.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
NsAdvSw9OuPfAxkisnEiyvna8yOvGDIW
|
akw54a
| null |
UPDATE - AITA for not throwing away pictures of my ex wife?
|
It's been a bit over a week since my post here made front page, and it's taken about that much time to finish reading through the responses. You're answers were overwhelmingly positive (save for a few), and today I finally solidified my position and pulled the trigger.
First the good - When I returned home, I searched the box that I had hid the pictures and scrapbook to find that they were gone. Upon inquiring of their whereabouts, I was directed under a bathroom sink. There I found the remains of the scrapbook, mostly put back together. However, I realized that at least 2 pages were missing. I also noticed that a few pictures in question weren't present. Upon questioning, I was directed to a trash can, where I found a couple torn pictures. Still, to my dismay, I found that the contents of the ravaged scrapbook were still incomplete. Further investigation revealed another stash of torn pictures. Finally, I have attained all of the pictures. (Shout out to the private messages offering to reconstruct them. A massive thanks to you!)
Two more days passed and I demanded that she apologize to my daughter for destroying the scrapbook (which now resides in my daughters room). Apology accepted, now comes the hard part.
I wont bother lying to you all, for I fear you would see through me. I considered trying to work through it. I thought, perhaps her efforts to repair the scrapbook are worthy of forgiveness?
NAY!
Seriously guys. I cant thank you enough. If it weren't for your guidance, I would probably continue to expose my daughter to this woman. Our relationship has ended, and I am now focused solely on raising my beautiful baby girl and my career.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
mhqIg80G2LyM0njUZPjnGOrrtHnsLfXV
|
atqn9j
|
{
"description": "never letting myself fall in love",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for never letting myself fall in love?
|
I’m a young guy doing fairly well for myself and everytime I start going on dates with a girl I end it before I catch feelings too hard. Recently a girl threw my backpack out of her house leaving me with crumpled paperwork. I told her I couldn’t go on because I cannot fall in love then she said she knew she shouldn’t have started talking to me. The fact is that things either last forever or there’s going to be a heart break, divorce or even a split family. That kind of pressure is so hard. I want to love but it’s hard to argue with statistics. Every married man I know has ended up having to pay child support eventually or stay with their wife hating their life without balls to breakup. I’ve been called self centered, selfish, and an asshole about seven times now. I never gave her or any girls any signs of even hinting of ever becoming official but when I end things I usually get called an ass who’s scared of love. Which the second part is true, I am scared of love... but am I the asshole? Things never even end on bad terms on my part as far as trying to come off condescending. Plus I let this girl and every other girl know exactly why I can’t talk to them anymore.
P.S I always let her know in the beginning that there’s no promises and most likely nothing serious will come out of this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
1Mzlv9dgrYkCUocHUsY0xbPPJmUhTNta
|
b7pawt
|
{
"description": "feeling miffed about a girl talking about hot guys in front of me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for feeling miffed about a girl talking about hot guys in front of me?
|
So a few weeks back this girl, lets call her Cindy, invited me out to drinks. Cindy had informed me previously that she was a stripper, and worked in a sex shop. I was fairly confident I was going to get laid, which would be the first time in quite a while. We went out to drinks, and she then invited me back to her place, at this point I'm almost positive I'm going to get laid. We get back to her place, where I get to sit awkwardly while she talks to her roommate, about how she's kind of seeing this guy who won't commit, but "omg he's sooo hot" and how Josh and Craig from class are "sooo hot", and he much she Instagram stalks them. Am I being unreasonable, or this this kind of a shitty thing to do to someone? When I asked her if she was interested in fooling around, she said "I'm actually seeing someone right now, and he's a body builder".
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
SEiT4yqpUwnK53hTnMuVH11maci7PZTM
|
avifzt
|
{
"description": "breaking up with this girl then lying to her",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for breaking up with this girl then lying to her?
|
So, I met this girl from Berlin while playing a game of Counter Strike last year. We added each other to our friends lists and started talking almost every day for the next few months. We exchanged pictures (not nudes) and video chatted a little bit every now and then. Now this girl looked like an absolute 9/10. I started to fall for this girl’s personality and looks, also the fact she played my favourite game with me really helped.
Over time one thing led to another and we started a long-distance relationship in early December. I booked a flight out to Berlin for the 17th until the 23rd to go meet the girl of my dreams. I was going to stay at her home, and she was going to pick me up from the airport.
My Dad took me to the airport and wished me good luck. Everything was normal that day, we had chatted all morning until I got on the plane. The wheels hit the ground at Berlin Schönefeld Airport, and I was ready. I get off the plane and text her to let her know I was here. I go through passport control and I'm stood outside the arrivals door knowing that the girl of my dreams is on the other side of that door, heart pounding, anxiety levels at maximum wondering if I'm going to be good enough for her. Nothing could have prepared me for what was through that door...
I find the courage after a few minutes of calming myself down and I walk through the door. I look up and down the line of people, but she is nowhere to be seen. I start wondering if she had bailed last minute. All of a sudden, what I can only describe as the female version of an extremely obese Danny DeVito who had been hit in the face with a shovel comes waddling out of the crowd calling my name. My heart dropped and all I could do was smile and wave. The first things through my head were the fact that I would be having to live with this goblin for the next six days and make sure I don't break her heart because I needed somewhere to stay and a lift back to the airport.
We embrace in a hug as I devise my plan on how to make sure I don't completely destroy the mental stability of this already fragile girl. We go back to her house and she starts getting frisky. I don't like it, but if I don't go through with it, she will know something is wrong. Never in my life would I have thought, as a man, that I would have to fake an orgasm.
I just have to grit my teeth and get through these six days then I can be back in the safety of my own home. Now obviously this girl was not the girl in her pictures. WRONG. She was, but she was an absolute professional at camera angles and lighting and somehow managed to maintain that perfect angle in all her photos and during our video calls.
I got home and couple of days later I come up with some bullshit about how I can't deal with the stress of a long-distance relationship and that was my reason for breaking it off. She gets really mad at me, calling me an asshole and all that.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
2sti1AD2UIzv8phQYKk5zN0JfwqaAacC
|
armv0e
|
{
"description": "refusing to be a sperm donor for my sister's wife",
"pronormative_score": 68,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to be a sperm donor for my sister's wife?
|
hi all,
throwaway account because of a sensitive situation.
some context: i have a serious disease that is believed to be genetic, though it isn't linked to be a single gene and can't be tested for (it's believed to be about a 10% chance of passing it on). as a result of this, my partner and i have decided to not have children.
that's why i was thrown for a loop when my sister asked me to be a sperm donor for her wife. she explained that having a child that came from her and her wife would be really meaningful for her, and my participation is the only way that could happen. she is aware of my disease and the associated risk but does not view it as disqualifying. nonetheless, i disagreed with her assessment and so declined.
i love my sister and her wife and want them to have everything they want in the world, but i'm just not comfortable with the idea that i could be the cause of their child's pain and misery. so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 46,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 22,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 68,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
wO2KPPYL1CgYUB4oc735tpKVmX55tFaT
|
aiofau
|
{
"description": "being upset with my gf for wanting alone time while we're spending time together",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For being upset with my (F20) GF for wanting alone time while we're spending time together?
|
So this weekend, me (M21) and my girlfriend (F20) spent it at my place and everything was going fine and dandy, until all of a sudden, on Sunday (I picked her up Friday and took her back home on Sunday) she starts giving off an upset vibe, so I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she was feeling tired/irritated with me. When I asked her why she felt this way, she said it’s because she can’t be with a person (not specific to me, but it still hurts nonetheless) for long periods of time (i.e., the weekend, so like 2-3 days) and that she needed time to herself, for at least like, 1-2 hours. This makes me noticeably upset because we live in two different cities 3 hours away (so I had to drive for a total of 12 hours this weekend) and I put in all this time and effort to get to see her and just be with her, but then she tells me that she needs alone time while we’re spending time together, which makes no sense because we already spend 5 days of the week apart from each other. I even offered to not see her for 2-3 weeks, thus giving her more alone time, but she said that it wouldn’t change anything and she’d still be tired/irritated with me and would still need alone time when we’re together. All of this upsets me but I just need to know, am I wrong for being upset with her about all of this? I get that she’s an introvert, but I don’t want to put in the time and effort to come see her if she’s just going to ask for alone time while we’re supposed to be spending time together…
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
TNUnu6CbfRS7kTXeGyYYopCUe3qfYYRX
|
awy67g
|
{
"description": "wanting to join the military",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting to join the military?
|
So this has been a back and forth between me (22m) and my girlfriend (20f) of about 1.5 years. Looking to know if ITA, not looking for relationship advice.
We met in college, and it was in my third year I decided I didn't like my degree anymore, and decided to instead join the Air Force for at least 4 years to make money and then go back for a degree I did want. When she met me, she knew that, and knew I was working to lose weight to qualify to enlist.
Now that I'm closer to that weight and have already talked to a recruiter for future plans, she's calling me the asshole because I'd be moving away for years and leaving her, despite the fact that she knew this the first week of dating.
AITA for wanting to serve my country? It's not like I'm getting up and leaving, he have plans of marriage and she'd be able to go with me if she wanted to.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 8,
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"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
T9YPFMLRxeS3RRUIwg9F07oKcX0jyEZU
|
aa8xcp
|
{
"description": "snapping at a prying question",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for snapping at a prying question?
|
I have pretty severe OCD but over the years I’ve got it under my control (mostly) and can function like a normal human being. I have come really far and I’m massively proud of myself but it seems like my grandparents still like to make me feel like I’m not right.
Any time I see my grandmother, if I’m not extremely bubbly, talkative or for whatever reason not smiling for even a second, she says, “Have you taken your medication?” In a very condescending tone. Whispering like I should be ashamed about it as she has often made me feel.
I know she generally means well, but this is the woman who tells all her friends very personal details about my mental health as if I’m her best gossip (despite me politely asking she keep me out of her conversations) and said to my mother several times, and I quote, “What are we going to do about (my name)? She’s not right.” despite me being a fully functioning adult that is entirely independent.
She knows it’s a touchy subject but heaven forbid I be in a bad mood even once because I might be “going back to being not right again.”
I feel like no matter how much I progress she will never see me as a “normal” person and when she makes that one particular comment it frustrates the hell out of me. So every now and then I will say “Yes. I’m fine.” In a snappy way, which seems to offend her.
Is my frustration unfounded?
TD;DR: my grandparent is very condensing about my mental health and I snap at her for always asking if I’ve taken my meds when I am not in an overly happy mood.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
pSBMQjdVvWlgKw06EAWPtrgO5ghyRpTZ
|
axez81
| null |
AITA Girlfriend, my mom, and me meet the exgf
|
Some quick facts and backstory. I was with my exgf for 6 years, we broke up about a year plus some months ago. She works at a restaurant by my house, prior to her working there and during our relationship I frequented there quite often. After our split I kind of stopped going there cause it would be awkward, plus seeing each other again so soon after a break up wasn’t a good idea for either of us. After some time have passed, both me and the ex cut communications and have moved on with our lives. The exgf did reach out to me a few months ago asking to hang out(she said she had a boyfriend too), I told my current gf and this was shot down. I had no issues telling the exgf no cause I thought nothing of it and understanding why my current gf would not want me associating with her again. Fast forward to this past week, prior to me and the exgf splitting she was working night shift with Sunday and Monday off. So I got some vouchers for free meals at the restaurant she works at, not knowing if she still worked there or not. It was my moms bday and we had decided to go eat at this restaurant along with my current girlfriend. So I scheduled our meal on Sunday in the morning...well it turns out the exgf was there cause she picked up an extra shift and it happened to be on Sunday morning. Not much was said by any of us, I told her hi and she asked me what I was doing there. I said I was here to eat with my mom and my girlfriend. I then told my gf that my ex was working, and she was not happy about it but got over it quickly and just enjoyed the meal. My mom didn’t care at all and just enjoyed the meal.
A day later I then get an email from my exgf. See attached link for screenshots. For privacy reasons names and locations are blacked out.
So am I in the wrong for going there to eat? Am I in the wrong if I continue to eat there? This isn’t McDonald’s that there are just a few around the block.
https://imgur.com/a/7D3q83l
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Ae4XsWriPFD2DPzFDjoUQqTIpfZP2y0O
|
auanne
|
{
"description": "being upset with my friend for lacking boundaries with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 156,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for being upset with my friend for lacking boundaries with my boyfriend?
|
My friend and I have know each other since freshman year (before she met my boyfriend), but they knew each other before I met him and we started dating. She has a rather naturally flirty personality, which I’d honestly rather believe than think she’s up to anything malicious.
Well, he recently admit to me that he actually used to have a crush on her, which is understandable because she’s drop dead gorgeous with the personality to match and super charismatic. Pretty much everyone has or has had a crush on her. It had me feeling a bit insecure, especially since she’s a very affectionate friend towards everyone. Hugging, holding hands, sitting on their lap, all that. So I asked her to tone it down a bit when it comes to him to quell my irrational concerns.
Well, her response was to invite him over to her house yesterday, (just them, the only reason I knew they met at all was because I saw it on her Snapchat) cook for him, and ask him to be her date for prom since she claimed she couldn’t find one. I’m not going to prom myself so it’s not that I’m upset he won’t be going with me, but I’m still upset that she’s not honoring my wishes and seemingly just paying him even more attention.
I was venting to a mutual friend of ours and she said I was acting like an asshole for even making the request because our friend was not required at all to cater to my insecurities. She should be able to touch him and spend one on one time with him because I should trust that they won’t do anything.
I feel guilty for being upset because she absolutely has a point, I guess the timing of it, and the fact that neither of them told me or invited me to hang out, was what really hurt me. AITA for feeling hurt / angry?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 155,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 156,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
4Br4tFTJuinNj9487TxBkIHwKfRKaS5A
|
arxwi6
| null |
AITA because my husband saw my post and says he wants to leave me and sue me? Says he wants an annulment and is considering suing me for defamation of character.
|
He says it's only a matter of time before someone leaks his name. He saw the post through an old friend of his who knew he had a micropenis and saw on his FB that he had just gotten married. He doesn't know who else the guy has told to link him to it. I feel like I am the asshole. He is crushed that I posted about him.
*update to original post: I confronted him last week about intentionally keeping this from me and he said he was sure I would leave him if I knew about the size prior to the wedding. And that he wanted to talk before the wedding but feared it being called off because of his micropenis and said if both families found out/gossiped about it he would be crushed. Which is basically what I did with the entire world via reddit, but he didn't know this until last night because I never told him that I posted on reddit when we talked.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 132,
"OTHER": 669,
"EVERYBODY": 57,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 15
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 679,
"WRONG": 189
}
|
RIGHT
|
dBe6WVPzOHQoDj3Vq7lECryJhB7wVPez
|
azxk9f
|
{
"description": "wanting to kick out a roommate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to kick out a roommate?
|
AITA here?
Quick note: I did just post in here a couple days ago, but my life is all sorts of whickity-wack ATM and you guys are helpful AF...
So.. I live in a 4 bed 2 bath house. Admittedly, we are living up to the (elder) millennial standards, and there is a roommate in each room cuz gentrification is so bad in our town and I/ we just cant freaking afford other options.
I have lived in the house for 3 1/2 years and its crowded, always dirty, and kinda sucks in general. Recently, my sister and her kiddo moved in and are now sharing a room. Me and my sister are both going through a mountain of life problems and everything is hard right now. We had plans of getting a place together so that her and the kiddo can have more space.
As we are looking into other places, we are getting worried as every place we have looked into will be more than triple the amount of rent we are paying now. While also being a much smaller space, and being downgraded from the amenities we have now.
In the current place we live in we have 1 single female, also lived there 3 1/2 years, and a single male that has lived there for about a year.
Now, the male roommate, lets call him George. He is not the greatest roommate, but also not horrible. He has NEVER cleaned, literally NEVER. He wont even take the trash out, and definitely contributes to the trash, and general filth (especially in the bathroom)
George moved to the upstairs, and i moved to the smaller room, so that we could give my sis the large room as she is sharing w the kid. George happens to be a freaking giant. He is 6'6 and about 350 lbs. He does not try, but he is LOUD! He also has a messed up schedule and gets ready for work at like 3:30 AM sometimes. He wakes me up EVERY night, and sometimes the other rommies. He smokes weed (we all do) but smokes to the point of vomiting on a regular basis, and it sounds like he is yelling into the toilet because he is just so large. I have never had any issues with anyone else living above me in these last 3 1/2 years. I have talked to him about it, and although I can really tell that he is trying, its just not cutting it.
So, I'm thinking to myself, why not just ask him to move. We really need the space, and beyond that he is depriving me of precious sleep, and NEVER lifts a finger to help out. Also hasn't bought TP, or dish soap, or trash bags the entire time he has lived w us. I asked the other female roommate (who also never freaking cleans) if she thought it would be messed up, and she got upset, saying that its a horrible way to treat someone, and didnt want to talk about it anymore.
I get it might be messed up to ask him to leave solely because we need the space, but its a complicated issue. Im also not looking to throw him out in the streets. Like not a huge rush, take a couple months and look for something else... Are you just supposed to let someone stay forever, til they want to move? IDK, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
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"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ugDB4aC7oK9312kQcCNKXAAd6YYd6Hvs
|
a2up93
|
{
"description": "being mad at my friend who constantly asks for my help writing emails",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for being mad at my friend who constantly asks for my help writing emails?
|
My friend’s English is not terribly good. Nonetheless he got a fairly high tier job at this big company and he is required to report to his superiors in English when he emails them and so he asked for my help in writing them. Sometimes he would write a horribly written email which I then had to rewrite for him. Other times he would just ask me to write the whole thing for him.
At first I gladly obliged. It was once or twice a week. However it kept going on. It is now almost a year later And he still keeps asking me to do this for him as a favor.( he claims that he used google translate for all the other times he won’t ask me) this is making me mad at this point and I have started to respond to his messages with bigger and bigger delays and with colder tones.
What really bothered me is that every time he would critique what I have written for him which was more than good enough for what he needed but he just had to devalue it. what’s more is that many times he would just neglect to even send me a thank you message after. I would send him what we wanted and he would just either criticize it or just not respond at all until the next time he would need another email or we would talk by chance.
Am I the asshole for being mad at him? I’m sure if I mention anything he’s gonna brush it off as me being a shitty friend because once a week isn’t an unreasonable request and shouldn’t really be something that annoying for me as a friend to do for him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
XoEn1yD7wpdlsYWHADpJmO1qKvrofNFW
|
agleoa
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my godfather's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my godfather's funeral?
|
It's my first time writing here so tell me if I'm doing something wrong.
So few hours ago my godfather passed away. I wasn't very attached to him because he got sick some years ago and didn't have the clarity of mind to even remember who I was. When I was a kid I used to spend some time with him but I was too young and I barely remember those days. Obviously my parents want me to go to the funeral but I'd rather not because on the day of the burial I've got some study to do for a test and most importantly seeing the coffin would make me unnecessarily sad, plus his family (not him) literally cut off every kind of contact between them and my family. My parents said they would be mad If I didn't come.
Am I the Asshole for refusing to go to the burial? And also AITA for not being sad about his death?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
JkS0vIlhOlfHATILZADww7Gvo6FFtbAB
|
av5v9r
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friend for stealing my phone and going into the bathroom with it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend for stealing my phone and going into the bathroom with it
|
Throwaway
I’ll try to keep this simple. So we ( a few of my friends ) and I were chilling at a library talking to each other and having a good time when I pulled up a video I had of my friends singing for a school project. Now, even by her own account, it’s terrible, so she freaked and I turned it off after like 2 seconds. A little time goes by where we don’t talk about it and she steals my phone and goes into the girls bathroom. Now I’m pretty sure it would have been illegal for me to follow cause I’m a guy, so I’m forced to just sit outside and wait. Now I probably wouldn’t have minded if they deleted the video and then left, because she was scared I would send it to someone ( even though I had it for five months and didn’t send it ). But they were in there for three minutes , and I know it doesn’t take that long to find a video so no telling what they looked at. Anyway they came out I got my phone back and just left because I was super pissed and didn’t want to do something stupid.
Afterwards she said sorry and I said fuck off and that was the end of it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
zgh0X3u9YGwMMTcGnZJztZjhzTCPfkkr
|
9z82nd
|
{
"description": "telling a realtor that we aren't interested in a house because its in a Mormon community",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a realtor that we aren't interested in a house because its in a Mormon community
|
Technically it was my wife, not me. My wife's defense was that you should tell your realtor about anything that would deter you from buying a house. She isn't a fan of Mormons (or any overly religious people that try to prosthelytize their neighbors), so when the realtor mentioned the neighborhood had a large number of Mormons, she immediately said we weren't interested because we don't want to live near a bunch of Mormons. Is she an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
dZ14L9bPUk43ta3G5lk2BFpl8l0Uc0zC
|
b4kr82
|
{
"description": "not caring about my brother's engagement announcement",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not caring about my brother's engagement announcement?
|
So, I don't really approve of the speed at which this relationship has gone, but I've kept my mouth shut about it because it's his life and he can live it how he wants. Basically, my brother (let's call him Brian) started a long distance relationship with this girl (let's call her Sandy) less than 2 years ago. Brian is early 30s and Sandy is late 30s and has already been married once before (in case that matters at all). Anyway, they would see each other probably twice a month for a few months (because the drive is something like 16 hours).
​
About 6 months in and Brian decided to move in with her. Brian was living with our parents still, so I'm sure getting out of their house played a factor. Supposedly, their plan was to live out there for a while and then move back here together because they both like this area. My guess is they were doing it that way because she has a house and they would need to get it ready to sell first before moving over here. Well, then all of a sudden, Sandy's mom got really sick. Cancer. So, they decided that they needed to both stay there, which is understandable. But, they decided they needed a bigger house for some reason. So, they sold her house and bought a new house (which seems crazy to me if their plan is to move back here anyway).
​
They buy the new house, get all moved in, and suddenly Sandy's mom's cancer is in remission. I don't know anything about cancer and treatment, so I don't know, but it seems a little weird to me. And this has all been in the span of one year of him living out there.
​
So, now here we are, a few months shy of a 2-year relationship and he proposed to her. And I'm kinda just feeling weird by it. It seems rushed. Also, she supposedly wants kids, so I get that her clock is ticking on that and that may be why this whole relationship is on the fast track, but I dunno. So, Brian texted me and our other brother about the engagement in a group text and I just ignored it for a week before finally summoning up a "congrats on your engagement" text in response with an excuse about being busy with life. But, I found out that he was actually really upset by the radio silence and talked to our dad about not being able to get in touch with me, despite having only texted me that one time.
​
So, AITA for not congratulating my brother on his engagement right away, despite feeling weird about it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
cdWpdKK6TivTQHksAJhEdotKAKx8VH6z
|
ay576q
|
{
"description": "taking my roommate's money",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for taking my roommate's money?
|
About a month ago my roommates brother left his new puppy (no more then a month or two old) cold and alone in my roommate's dark room all night. Nobody was home and we have no central heating in our house, it was freezing. The puppy was crying all night and peeing/pooping everywhere. I decided to bring the puppy in to my room for the night so he could warm up and stop crying. The pup ended up peeing on my textbook which was a rental and ended up costing me $120. I briefly mentioned that the pup peed on my textbook to my roommate's girlfriend without expecting any compensation more as a conversational piece because she was already complaining about the dog. She immediately apologized and said she would get the pup's owner to pay me for the textbook. I was surprised, but said OK that would be appreciated. My roommate ultimately paid me $120 and that was the end of it. Fast-forward to today my roommate blew up on me saying that it was shady for me to take the money because I decided to take the dog in on my own. Apparently he was under the impression that the dog wandered in to my room and peed without my knowledge. I never tried to give this impression. I thought it was clear that I brought the dog in for the night which is why I never expected nor asked for compensation. I only took the money because it was offered.
To me this seems more like a misunderstanding that can be easily resolved. I have no problem paying the money back and I already said I would pay him, but he's still pissed. So, am I the asshole for taking the money in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
fXaytBVYD88KiFuS19vs4T8iwpE0IEig
|
ahp1dx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get the kids any Christmas presents",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to get the kids any Christmas presents?
|
I know this was last month but it recently came up in conversation again.
So this is the story ( a little long sorry):
I (25F) am married (29M) and we have no kids. My husband has nieces and nephews (4 nieces and 1 nephew). We are newly weds but have been together for 7 years now, so I have been around the kids since they were little. Up to last year there was only 3 kids, both siblings just recently had baby girls. His brother now has 3 kids (11 yr old boy, 7 yr old girl and babygirl) and his sister has 2 girls (11yrs and babygirl). Every year we give the kids a Christmas present and of course we give them presents for their birthdays as well. Every year his brother hints at us that we should get his kids something expensive or more than one present each. For example, his son wanted a hover board and told him in front of us "don't worry your uncle can get it for you this Christmas" or in one occasion he said something like "I'll get my kids gifts but then you two can show up with even more gifts for each". It seems like because we have no kids he expects us to spend our money on his. This past Christmas I was texting his wife asking her what she was going to get the other two girls (their sisters daughters) and her response shocked me a bit. She said "I only ever buy gifts for the kids, MY kids". Keep in mind their sister has only had 1 daughter for 11 years until she recently gave birth to the babygirl, so all these years she only had to buy one more present on top of what she gets her kids. Me on the other hand, have had to get 3 kids presents without ever getting anything in return. They have never ever in 7 years given us any kind of presents. Never for our birthdays, Christmas, or even a wedding present. I never noticed this until recently. I am not a materialistic person but I do think that the thought counts. A $10 shirt or some chocolates or cookies anything to let us know that they thought about us and at least had the intention to get us something. But they are not like that, they love to receive but never give. This is not just with us, its in general. They go to birthday parties for the free food, they throw birthday parties for the gifts etc..
​
Ok so this past Christmas after I asked her and she said she was only getting something for her kids I thought that I should do the same. My husband and I have no kids, so I decided not to get anything for his nieces and nephew. I told my husband this and he said the kids were used to getting something from us every year so they might be confused if we got them nothing. He also said that its not their fault that their parents are cheap and selfish. While I was out Christmas shopping for my mom and sisters, my conscious got at me and I ended up getting all 5 kids a small present each.
​
So you might think how is she an a\*\*hole if she ended up getting them presents? Well after seeing how the kids reacted when we gave them their gifts my husband has decided to not buy them anything from this point forward. They came over to our house and the first thing his niece said was "where is my present?" before even saying Hi or giving us a hug. The 11 yr old boy said that he didn't want clothes for Christmas thats not a real present and the 7 yr old girl asked where are the rests of her gifts and why was there only one.
So my question is Would We Be A\*\*holes if we stop buying his nieces and nephew Christmas presents from now on??? AITA for putting that thought in my husband in the first place????I know their just children but I do kind of regret buying them presents this time. We don't have kids yet so maybe I don't understand them.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RzelTX9URMVSRLlBNDOpdYl6PTrndtx7
|
awcex5
| null |
AITA: Found pregnant coworker’s misplaced cigarettes, and threw them away rather than returning them?
|
Pretty straight forward. Just unsure if I was right to throw them away or return them. It is HER body and child and HER possessions but I don’t think I could’ve brought myself to hand cigarettes to a pregnant woman. She’s about 4 Mo. pregnant and 24 years old
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 30
}
|
WRONG
|
sbSmloeHMbtIuQArKoVPmRnqesbQQLmU
|
aihnvc
|
{
"description": "emailing my sisters beauty pageant company to check if their donation website is legit",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for emailing my sisters beauty pageant company to check if their donation website is legit ?
|
So my sister's running for miss world, and to vote for anyone in that website the voter has to spend 1$ per vote, giving away their CC information, and she just shared that website with everyone she knew to vote for her.
Then i checked the website myself and with some research, what do you know the website is only 47 days old.
I talked to her about sharing the link and how bad it would be if the website turned out to be a scam and she'd be associated with them for sharing the link, But as far as she's concerned "Jane also shared the link in her facebook page and i need more votes"
So i took an email from the original miss world website and asked if this 47 day old website is approved and legitimate. and she said that it is and they're just working with another company this year.
But the person that emailed me this turned out to be the person that recruited my sister, and when my sister found out she said i never should've done that and i totally ruined her picture by accusing them of fraud and blaming me for ruining 3 months of her life and her chance of winning something huge.
Am i the asshole here for trying to protect my sister ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WgtHRJT9uikP0YN4QcpFb2v0kNaJMDog
|
adnj3h
|
{
"description": "beginning a relationship with a girl that my friend brought over to my house",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for beginning a relationship with a girl that my friend brought over to my house ?
|
Dunno how to write this properly :/ english is not my first language.
So last thursday I was throwing a party at my house, just enjoying a day off with a close friend, then another friend text me and wants to come over with a girl, I say sure no problem. Then i saw her and instantly i felt something i have never felt before (she felt it too :) We hit it pretty hard and everybody was wasted, while this is happening that girl (now gf) let me get her number and she put a kiss emoji right next to her name while saving her in my contacts. Next day comes, i wake up and i got like 20 messages from this girl, we talked for a bit and decided to hit it off. Now comes the weird part, my friend that brought her with him was interested in her but she was not interested in him.
Did i steal "his" girl or did i not ? AITA for having a crush on her and pursuing it ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
sxpa6GrrwZXXCzyIk7Kg6dGWbfOTCW18
|
ar8abc
|
{
"description": "getting angry at an elderly man who knocked into me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting angry at an elderly man who knocked into me?
|
I was with my girlfriend walking in a crowded narrow walkway when a family of four stopped in front of us. In order to avoid congesting the walkway behind, my girlfriend and I tried to overtake them by trying to squeeze through the small gap that they left on the walkway. This was when an elderly man came from behind and tried to squeeze through as well. He shouted "hello" loudly at me and just knocked me to get through quickly.
I didn't do anything on the spot as I was too shocked to react, but I got so angry afterwards that I felt like catching up to him to confront him, only to be stopped by my girlfriend.
I got angry because the walkway was so narrow that it was basically impossible to overtake people without pushing your way through. He had to push his way through lots of people before ending up behind him. It annoys me that people are so inconsiderate and impatient that they had to force their way through instead of waiting.
I was also unhappy that he shouted at me as if it's my fault for him knocking into me. He pushed and forced his way through from behind and expects me to have eyes from behind to see him coming.
I just don't understand the thought processes of such inconsiderate people. My girlfriend and I would try to avoid knocking or even touching anyone when we are out in the crowd because we don't want that happening to us. What goes through their mind that tells them it's ok to push people in the crowd? Was I wrong to get angry at people for being inconsiderate? And what would you guys do in such situations?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
ERYPRLFhW6U2p16H30Ym2fb3AGPsn6Mw
|
ayk5uv
|
{
"description": "being hateful towards my friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being hateful towards my friend's ex?
|
Sorry if this isn't as neutral as the sub would want, but I just had to be as blatantly honest as possible.
​
I should start by saying, yes I am friends with my ex girlfriend. Since we broke up she’s dated two other people, a girl who was with her for a rebound, and a guy who actually just left her around an hour ago.
​
The girl was mostly kind and honest, and to my knowledge never did anything explicitly wrong other than worry my ex, and broke up with her a few weeks before getting back together with her ex boyfriend that she was rebounding from, but that's besides the point.
​
The focus of this post is on his and her relationship since it just ended and she’s mad at me for saying that she doesn’t need him because he was an asshole. He said he didn’t love her and that he doesn’t think they’d work out together so he left.
​
If this was all it was, then it would be a less “dramatic” situation, but, unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out that way.
​
This guy, who we’ll call ex, constantly abused her emotionally and sexually and took advantage of her dependence and overt need to love him. She gave him everything she was, but all he did was ignore her. Ex would constantly go behind her back with other girls, has been caught cheating a few times, ignored her when she needed him most, was active on snapchat and instagram an hour after she told him that she really needed him mid panic attack, reaching the lowest point of her life where I genuinely was concerned for her safety and well-being, and he responded by saying he was going to sleep, he ignored her texts and calls, avoided her in public, and even had the gall to say “yeehaw” any time she said she loved him. He kept her out of his life unless he wanted to have sex or get high and do shit to her. I’ve known this girl for years and not once had she ever even touched a cigarette butt let alone dropped acid or smoked anything. He took her virginity after she told him multiple times that she wasn’t comfortable and didn’t want to before caving in when he started to get upset and angry. She’s already struggling with anorexia and he told her that he doesn’t think he’d love her if she wasn’t skinny. He pretended to not know that she didn’t like a specific other girl that he would always go to when he was ignoring her or mad at her despite the fact that she’d had multiple arguments with him about it. All he ever did was yell at her and get mad whenever she said anything to go even slightly against him.
​
She says I don’t know anything about him and that I don’t know him well enough to say any of that, but when she comes to me every day crying about something else he’s done to her, I can’t help but speak up.
​
She’s a good kid and doesn’t deserve to be hurt like that but christ she doesn’t want to accept it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
Pp5DPuApWZRy5vCRAkQu32IRO67v2TDZ
|
b03jfr
|
{
"description": "wanting to put my dog down",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to put my dog down?
|
I have lived with my dog my entire life, I’m 19 and she’s going to be 15 this year. Over the past year or two her ability to move has nearly disappeared. It started with the stairs, she was confined to the main level but okay it’s decently sized, recently she has started falling on the hardwood floor, over and over. We have to put rugs out for her to try and maneuver. She can’t even make it up the 2 stairs from the garage to the inside. I think it’s her time to go, get quality of life is nonexistent in my opinion. My mom has just recently started thinking of the idea but my dad won’t even give it a thought, he sees the one time she goes down the two stairs to the garage fine and thinks it’s going to stay like that. But then next time she needs help. He watches her walk through the hardwood floors just fine once and forgets about the time she fell 6 times in one hour. Obviously I love my dog and it’s going to hurt like a you know what when she goes, but AITA for wanting to put her down...?
TLDR: Old dog, dad doesn’t want to put her down, I think it’s time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
OY5dSsL1Ee3f482f3d6kSyuaDmzln0TP
|
auv6dq
|
{
"description": "taking my boyfriend too seriously when he jokingly said he was \"going to shoot me\"",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for taking my boyfriend too seriously when he jokingly said he was “going to shoot me”?
|
Turning here for unbiased opinions. Been dating for 3 years. He has never been violent, aggressive, or verbally abusive towards me. He has a passion for gun collecting. Our relationship has been on the rocks lately at least to me. Lack of affection and adoration. I asked him to go to counseling, he said no we don’t need it and it’s to expensive. I cried and told him i felt we loved each other but were not in love, he said he didn’t understand. Fast forward to today we were horsing around and joking with one another and he said “I’m gonna shoot you”. Immediately I said “how could you say that to me?” And he said he was only joking. I think this is hitting me harder than it should cause at a young age i had a cousin tell me he was going to kill me, and then told my grandmother he said “kiss”. I now can’t stop thinking about what my boyfriend said.
Am I the asshole for overreacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fVyxy38swZ8Z63YXjCjRikZv5EZSZVV5
|
b7ez4s
|
{
"description": "anonymously telling a high school supervisor that someone I'm not friends with is vaping",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTA for anonymously telling a high school supervisor that someone I'm not friends with is vaping?
|
Would I, a 15 year old in the 10th grade, be the asshole for telling a supervisor or counselor, that someone in my class, who I'm not friends with, is vaping?
​
Although I personally don't like the guy, it's hard seeing someone so young already get into this shit. I've lost so many people to lung cancer.
​
So I was thinking of telling a supervisor or a counselor, as they also have every right to accuse him because he is bringing the vape to school.
​
The kid's parents also don't know, and I'd like them to. Smoking kills, I'm aware of that, and although I don't like the guy, like I said, I feel like letting this happen is just sad. A 15 year old smoking isn't something to be hippity hoppity about. I don't want to ruin this guy's high school life by letting his parents know, which will happen if the school finds out, but lung cancer is no joke.
​
So WIBTA for telling the supervisor on him, even if it's for his sake?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
LxES4wME7G2DP9yfIEbcAwOAwkUVMLdU
|
a2kwoa
|
{
"description": "yelling at my mother",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at my mother
|
This happened over the summer and everytime I tell the story people tell me I was completely in the right and others have told me I was an ass hole. So I'd like to see what you all think.
So over the summer I got married and during my wife and I's honeymoon we planned to visit family after spending time at the beach. While visiting my mother for a few days she started it off by bragging about her new boyfriend she met on instagram. I was super suspicious because the pictures of this "boyfriend" was a super jacked soldier stationed over seas and my mom is just starting to feel better after being sick for many years (and still looks fairly sick) so it made me suspicious such a fit and healthy man would be interested in my mom. She's super nice and I know she has a way with words so I kind of just passed it off as my mom landing someone out of her league and didn't put more thought into it. My younger brother who still lives with mom told me he was suspicious she was getting catfished and asked for help to search into who this guy is.
My brother and I the search him up and try to find more details about him. We end up finding a dozen accounts with the same picture but all with different names. We then approach our mother calmly and told her she should delete the guy off her contacts because we were almost positive she was getting catfished at this point. My mother acknowledges that it was fishy and told us she would.
Fast forward a day and we find out that she confronted him about the alternate accounts and he told our mother that people kept stealing his accounts and changing his name. On top of this blatant lie he started asking my mother for money so he can buy a new phone because his got lost during a bombing attack. We tell her not to send the money no matter what and it was a ridiculous she was even considering sending him money after all the red flags my brother and I just discovered.
Things then took a turn for the worst and we find out she sent the guy their address and was planning on going to the store to send the guy money (which she had already tried to but inputted the wrong email address). My brother only finds this out because he oversees their address in a message sent to the guy. My mom tried to pass it off as nothing and just a mistake. This is the point I blew up and yelled at her. I told her she was acting very immature and childish by ignoring my brother and I and purposefully not following our advice out of spite (she does things like this out of spite all the time. She doesn't like admitting she is wrong) I followed up by telling that I understand she is lo ely after dad left her but this wasn't the solution and there was other ways she could meet people. My mother got real upset and thought I was implying she needed my permission to date but I told her as long as it wasn't a catfish then I dont care who she dares right now. My mother got very upset with me after that I yelled at her but I told asked how else would I have gotten this message across because I had tried being very civil and warn her about the guy multiple times.
I know a son should never tell at their mother and to a certain extent I'm fine with being an ass hole to a certain agree but I'm glad in the end my message finally got across and she deleted the catfish off her phone.
TL;DR: mother gets catfished while I'm visiting on my honeymoon with my wife. My brother and I warn her multiple times after discovering multiple fake accounts.mother doesn't believe us and stubbornly sends the guy their address and almost 1000$ American so he could get a new phone.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
PbDNS8S0MJwgo7gDGr7JasFoB7ZLZSNV
|
aqgu5v
|
{
"description": "ceasing texts to a very emotionally sensitive friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for ceasing texts to a very emotionally sensitive friend?
|
I've been in a rough patch for awhile getting adjusted to a new job and trying to move up in life so I pretty haven't been checking my messages unless they come from my s.o. I know my friend (let's call her jess) has anxiety issues and if I don't check on her I'll get text messages asking if I still love her. It's been happening for years and it makes me feel like shit but I wanted her to know I was there so i shot her a quick text explaining that I had been very stressed and just focusing on work and sleeping (which is honestly all I can really do) she texts back that it's fine and asked how I've been. Wtf!?! Did she not READ the text? I've always been there for her even though she goes to therapy she expects me to reply instantly whenever shes upset about something no matter what it is and she'll get pissy with me if I dont respond in a timely manner. I'd never dump something on her without asking if she could handle it but I'm really starting to get sick of just being there because I treat her good and I'm the only person who's ever stayed by her. In the past when I stop wanting to be friends with a user I leave without explaining because confronting people is my absolute least favorite thing in the world but I've been trying to stop. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
W0oxKVw9Od1oRGuRYJKmVKePWSvu8uTq
|
ao4bwy
|
{
"description": "expecting my gf to pick up around the house more than she does",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for expecting my GF to pick up around the house more than she does.
|
Dating two years, moved in together 6 months ago. As a single guy, I had piles of laundry, dishes, papers, etc but always got to cleaning them up on my first day off. Now it’s like a competition between the two of us as to how long before one of us is repulsed enough to do something. Here’s our situation:
Me: I make twice as much money as her, so I pay for every bill for the household (rent, gas, electric, internet, etc.) and food every other week. I work 12 hour days 4 days per week with 3 day weekends.
Her: makes very little money plus has some debt from college and bad decisions. Pays for food every other week. Works 30 hours/week, but usually only has 1 day off. Lots of split shifts and half days. Also taking online classes for a certificate.
Chores: We usually work together cooking the meals for the week ahead of time. The dishes are usually piled up until the next week when we need to cook again. I use the same 3 containers taking food to work for 4 days, usually paper plates and a water bottle and beer cans on my weekend. She comes home for lunch, leaves cups of soda out each night. What I’m saying is I think she makes more dishes.
Chores (cont.): She does laundry almost every day. She has required outfits for each day that definitely cannot go 2 days without washing. She throws my clothes in with hers because it doesn’t make much sense to wash just her outfit alone each day.
Chores that pile up: trash is overflowing before someone takes it out. Dishes pile up. No sweeping, dusting, or mopping so far except once for her family’s Christmas at our house and I did it today. Bathroom is never cleaned.
TL;DR- Am I the asshole for expecting the person who doesn’t contribute financially (and probably makes more messes) to help around the house more though I have more free time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
Z3FYTPB3YXG1Q2HGm44vs25jUsNo0PFe
|
9wopg0
|
{
"description": "not buying £4 deli sandwiches when I can buy the meat from them and a roll from a supermarket",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not buying £4 deli sandwiches when I can buy the meat from them and a roll from a supermarket?
|
So on my lunch break at school, I usually get a sandwich from a local deli who have all sorts of ingredients for sandwiches which cost a flat rate of £4. Being a student, I don't have an income to really afford this and a drink everyday. So I decided I would start getting the 4 slices of salami from the deli for 50p - £1 (it's weighed) and a drink and baguette from a local shop for 95p more so I could save money and have a nice sandwich. However, today when I went in I assume the owner must have caught on to what I was doing and when I asked to buy just 4 slices of salami his mood changed - he grabbed a fistful and asked 'enough?', then throw the bagged salami across the counter and when I went to pay with my card he huffed, exclaimed I was costing him money, then slammed down the card machine and off I went with a thanks.
What's weird is the owner is a usually nice guy, so I'm not sure if he was having a bad day or I pissed him off by not spending as much as before or 'inconveniencing him' during lunch rush. But overall he was just incredibly rude and I can't work out if he was justified or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
DLh5PLIlwh9DX0XjHtNgd2oVLwlNv0Ir
|
an2v83
| null |
AITA In My Former Roommate Situation?
|
To start things off, let me just say- I've moved out and couldn't be happier to be in a better situation. As I reflect, I generally just want some insight as to what other people have to say about the people involved in my previous living situation.
Some background on the people involved: Person A is a 31 year old "on-the-fence trans"/lesbian woman whose parents originate from Iran but I am not convinced she actually spent much time living in Iran, mostly just in her early childhood. Person B is a 31 year old singer/actor who performs in plays. She's hardly home and brings home a good amount of new men. Person C is a 31 year old straight male bartender/massage therapist. I am a 26 year old gay man who works as an Engineer. Person A and C are both on the lease, person B is subletting a room in the apartment (as was I).
​
So, last year May 2018 I move into a four person apartment in San Francisco with the people aforementioned. My initial relationship was with C, and I had to have a roommate interview with A, B, and C together in the living room. A was very hyper-critical/standoffish to me, but I was able to navigate the social situation enough to land myself a room as I was in desperate need of a place to live. Fast forward a few weeks and it comes to my attention that I left a few stray hairs from my beard in one of the two sinks in the bathroom. "A" has a big pet peeve, and she spoke to me about it. Supposedly, despite my attention to cleaning up after myself, it happened again. This time, she needed to sit down with me and talk about the issue when I legitimately didn't see a reason to, as I made sure to clean up after myself and had a feeling she was being a bit hypercritical about one or two stray hairs that got away (which is natural, and I believed was something that should be overlooked to a certain degree when living with others). So, we were off to a rocky start but I tried to soften her up and just get along with her as best I could. As time went on, I ended up in a very meaningful relationship with my boyfriend, and he started spending the night very frequently. We were always in my room, and it was pretty normal that all of the people I lived with kept to themselves in their rooms with the occasional casual interaction in the common spaces.
Some random day, I get a text from person A that she's got to speak with me about something. I ask her what the problem was as I was travelling soon and wouldn't have time for another sit-down when she explained that she felt my boyfriend was spending too many nights over. Mind you, I didn't think she had a right to say when I could or couldn't have my boyfriend over as he never consumed our resources in the apartment (food, water, etc..) and we always kept out of her space. I felt as if she got to a point where she really needed to just find something to complain about as she didn't like me. Who knows. A few days later I asked her what exactly she had a problem with about him staying over in my room, and she stated that my boyfriend once "startled her" and she was bothered by the fact that we cooked "all day Saturday" in the kitchen (I made a homemade soup that took maybe an hour or two). We fought a bit, I told her I felt that she just wanted to start problems because she was the one in the apartment that was always raising issues over small things and it was stressful for everyone. She got mad and started to order that I move out of the apartment. I left for England in December and haven't returned yet. I gave little less than a 30 days notice to the person C (the other master tenant) and haven't returned to San Francisco. My friends moved my belongings out of my room for me and are storing them until I am able to move back.
Person A told me that she would file a restraining order against me, and she got Person B to lie and say that she "saw me attack (Person A) the first house meeting" (we had it because Person A had problems with me after I didn't care to waste time discussing the hair shavings in the sink). Person A sent me harassing text messages because I initially told her I would not move out until I was willing and able to.
Am I the asshole for having my boyfriend over most nights when we stay to ourselves and not putting up with the harassment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
eGPPM7QXFiRKGJhGkWzWt16lYfKlRHh6
|
a89k7f
|
{
"description": "not doing something for a stranger and going in front of someone in line who wasn't ready",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not doing something for a stranger and going in front of someone in line who wasn't ready?
|
So this happened a few months ago. My wife and I were at the airport to fly home after a weekend vacation. We were in the line to go through security and some woman behind me grabbed my arm while I was talking to my wife and told me to throw her water bottle away since I was by the trash can. Since she grabbed my arm and commanded me to do something I was a little pissed off and told her she could do it herself.
We eventually get to the front of the line and there is one lane open for the luggage x-ray. We put our stuff in the containers and are waiting for more people to move down when they open another x-ray using a different lane. A different woman from behind us goes over to the newly opened lane and she is standing at the very end leaving about 15 feet of space in front of her. My wife and I go in front of her since there is so much room and by the time I'm done putting our bags on the belt this woman is saying that I cut her. I calmly said she could go ahead of us if she wanted, then she said that she doesn't want to move her bags around us and called me an asshole. At this point I'm still pissed off from 5 minutes ago then this happens and all I say back is, "Sorry to inconvenience you, princess." That was the end of it but I was wondering if I was an asshole for not throwing woman 1's water away and for us going in front of woman 2.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
fRUdzZHQ8f4IMUngf6V4KMEDm0EWd60c
|
ay230y
| null |
AITA my wife wants to go to work with me
|
I recently started working for my wifes father and im in a truck all day and her father says its fine if i bring her with me
However i dont want to because i dont want to mix my personal life with my work life also i fell its unprofessional even if the boss says its ok
Now my wife is upset because she thinks im ashamed of her and thinks i dont the other workers to see her
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
j7hd3x8qI9JoeeiJA9EmxZt5bHPTR8pv
|
a2nsk3
|
{
"description": "not being interested in sex with wife",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being interested in sex with wife?
|
My wife is quite desperate to have children, but she is also quite depressive. The usual cycle goes from, insistent on chore like sex around the fertile window and then depressed and not interested in sex for the 2.5 weeks after. Rinse and repeat. AITA for not being interested in the chore like sex because there seems to be no other type of sex and I get a bit emotional that I feel like more of a sperm donor than a husband?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ulfZCwMb9WGisntvFsd5eaPNOXiJNRWP
|
aucihr
|
{
"description": "being friendly with a neo-nazi",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for being friendly with a neo-nazi?
|
I went back home to stay with some fronds of mine at the weekend. There were a few of us staying over at this house and one guy there who I hadn't met before. People frequently stay at this house, and often in groups. They've got a lot of crash space.
Now, he had some tattoos and some items of clothing that fall into the neo nazi, alt right, confederate, fascist type of thing. He goes to the house every now and then - referred to it as his sanctuary away from home.
He's younger than the rest of us, around 20, and we're all late 20s, early 30s. No one else at this gathering (around 12 of us) have ever expressed sympathy or leanings towards that kind of politics. I want to make that clear. It wasn't an all white gathering, if that changes the context at all.
Throughout the evening he makes a few remarks and using derogatory language against different groups. Frequently without context or prompting. The group tended to ignore these remarks as if they hadn't happened. I made faces. Long periods of conversation would go on between these remarks. They were not constant or anything.
One of the hosts is a very good friend of mine. They're Jewish and said that he was just young and immature and that they had spoken to them at length before about their views and that I should just leave it. They also said that this person had always been very friendly towards them despite what you might imagine.
The guy is very chatty and is very friendly and open. Even towards none white people in the group. I tried my best to avoid him for most of the evening and the morning after. I won't be contacting him outside of social obligations.
I felt very upset and offended by these remarks. I even had to leave the room at points to clear my head. But... I didn't challange them. I told myself it wasn't my house or my guest. I didn't want to ruin the evening by challenging him. (Was a special occasion). I feel like I should have spoken up.
So reddit, AITA? And if I ever see them again how should I respond?
P.S. I really would appreciate not having the other people there judged or insulted. They are my friends and have been for years. They haven't come here for judgement but I have so please try to limit it for me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
K1XLTJ4gdJIgdMpQmUCG70fqTBsFOY9A
|
aj4st8
|
{
"description": "exchanging the Christmas gift my boyfriend bought me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for exchanging the Christmas gift my [F22] boyfriend [M23] bought me?
|
I'm really sorry if this story is petty. My boyfriend bought me an Adidas hoodie from the local Adidas outlet for Christmas (he also gave me a gift receipt). As I hinted at gym clothes, I was super appreciative that he was on point there. Being honest though, the style wasn't bad, but it wasn't my favorite either. It happens -- gift giving, especially in the \[somewhat\] beginning (1 year together), can be tricky, especially with something as personal as style. I'm not sure if price is relevant, but it was on sale for \~$20-25. Anways, I was shopping today, and saw an Adidas style I LOVED, and decided to exchange the hoodie and get this one I really liked instead. I told him about this not too long ago and he was very upset. After listening to his side, these were his arguments:
​
1. "The sentimentality of the gift is gone" -- other words of his paraphrased: I picked this out for you, and when you see it/wear it, you'll think of me and remember that I got this for you for Christmas. Now you can't do that with this new one. It means literally nothing (I don't think this is true at all -- I thought this was really out of line).
2. "Why didn't you keep the one I bought you, and buy the one **YOU** want with your own money? You can afford to buy it. -- Now, the one I wanted was more expensive, so I just paid the modest difference in price between the two. He also knows I don't have any extra money to be spending friviously on clothes. I'm on a super tight budget -- I'm a full time MBA student + working 2 jobs (50 hours/week) just to bump my savings.
I tried explaining how I feel, but he's pretty stubborn about this. He continued to make me feel really bad for doing this and ended the phone call with, "Whatever, you do you. Next time, I'll just give you cash instead, if this is how it'll be." AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
81tcF0SCCPJ8kJOpdLfKodnBpryRmOTN
|
a78ful
|
{
"description": "forgetting my gfs birthday that hasn't happened yet",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For forgetting my GFs birthday that hasn't happened yet?
|
I decided to make the poor decision of having a drunk phone call with my girl late at night. We got on the topic of her moms birthday and then my drunk dumbass decided to ask "wait when is your birthday again?" Knowing full well it was late February. I was off by a couple of days. I remembered her birthday this year (we were only friends though at the time) but she insisted I needed to know the exact date if it was important to me... Which it is. I have four brothers and two parents and suck at remembering dates. I remember the time of the month and remind myself of the exact day when we get to that time of year. Its just been my system for remembering birthdays/anniversaries.
She's insisting its shitty for me to not know the exact date... 2 months in advance. Weve been friends for 6 years and dating for 8 months. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mNb7zBqx1QqhDZDHo7znHZzGU9Vc2YSi
|
b9pvun
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriends manager that she spat in someones drink",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I told my girlfriends manager that she spat in someones drink
|
A few nights ago a customer came in that her co-worker really didn't like that did some bad stuff to her and ordered a coffee and they both decided it would be okay to spit in her coffee. I'm honestly disgusted and I'm shocked that she would do that. I think it's completely not okay to do that but I was wondering if it was petty if I told her manager.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yhS5M47KKqpqZewV4EYpmSVay7gngBdI
|
aesmsi
|
{
"description": "telling my ex's new boyfriend she was trying to get back with me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my ex's new boyfriend she was trying to get back with me?
|
A little backstory: My ex recently got back in touch with me to let me know how much she has changed. I take note of the fact her guy still has them as "in a relationship" as of august 1, 2017 and then ask her "don't you have a boyfriend?" To which she replies no. I sent her bf a message asking if they were, in fact, still dating. He finally got back to me today and said that they were, so I told him everything she's been doing as of late.
Was I wrong for telling him and possibly breaking what, on the surface, seemed to be a decent relationship that had been going on for more than a year?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ygYMcijQmL97zz1rfzKeBjZ7XDsRHLat
|
aywya0
|
{
"description": "not getting my 11year old the pricey hair straightening procedure she wants",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not getting my 11year old the pricey hair straightening procedure she wants?
|
My daughter, like me, has fine, thick, wavy hair. You know how they say that the grass is always greener…? Well much like I did at her age, she hates her hair and wishes it were straight. When I was young, there were no Brazilian hair or Keratin treatments to make it straight. These days there are a lot more options, and they are very expensive. The semi-permanent technique can last between 3 and 5 months, and puts you out about $150 to $300 per treatment. Several of my female friends and family members seem to think that I should do this for my daughter. Every time the subject comes up, I feel their disapproval about the fact that I am denying her this. I might actually consider it, if money wasn’t so tight. I’m a single mother who works full-time, and have no other income. AITA for thinking she’s too young and/or that my money could be better spent? My daughter does have some bad hair days, but overall her self-esteem is great.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vXS5LPckjj3mJe0skZUiqHyGhSs0aYgu
|
ab54li
|
{
"description": "asking someone to a dance after telling someone else I wasnt going at all when asked out",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if i asked someone to a dance after telling someone else i wasnt going at all when asked out
|
I'm just going to dump the text convo here, the question is just the title. (Sorry for formatting, am on mobile)
Friend: Hey do you have a significant other?
Me: (says nothing)
Friend: hey do you want to go to (dance name with me)
Me: nah, I'm not really big on dances.
Friend: my mom is making me go so you have to go
Me: that's not how this works rho.
Friend: you're going with me. Please just as friends
Me: I don't really want to. I don't like dances and they make me awkward. We can still be friends but Im not going to this dance
Friend: they'll be food.
Me: it isn't about you. I just don't like dances.
Friend: but the food! Please go.
Me: I'm not going. I'm sorry. I really am
(After this she continued to try and convince me to go for a bit longer, basically the same thing as above.)
I really do feel bad about rejecting my friend already, but she just isn't the type of person I could be in a relationship with and she is extremely unstable. I feel bad about the situation already, but don't want this to ruin the first 'real' dance that I will be able to go to in my life.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
JND7nEysyNpnYu2Jv5SQZtPt6r1FoIus
|
b9chie
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend my Sunday with my fiance's family to celebrate birthdays of relatives I don't know",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend my Sunday with my fiance's family to celebrate birthdays of relatives I don't know?
|
So this will be the second time this month this occasion will have happened. A few weeks back, we celebrated another similar occasion but for the other side of the family (a side of the family, mind you, that they don't even care for). So it already felt particularly pointless because coming from my own family, if we don't get along, we don't try and act like we do, so we wouldn't have even gone. But alas, I trucked with them and spent my entire Sunday over an hour away just sitting there making small talk with people that hardly know me, or even want to for that matter.
This Sunday, we're doing the same thing for the other side of the family. What's more frustrating is that I just got done working a nearly 60 hour week and my weekends have become almost sacred to me. I won't get home until 7-8 on most nights, so I've had very little time to myself.
While this side of the family likes each other and we're more conversational, they tend to spend the entire day with one another, often not leaving until well after sundown. I don't mind showing up and being conversational for a few hours, but they're the type to just exist in the same room together and it's expected that you be there, too, regardless of how much is going on. They'll be playing a card game together (that only 4 can play), while others will be talking about some gossip that I have absolutely no hand it, while some others will be lamenting about family drama.
I understand that I'm marrying into this family, but their social practices go well past my patience or even involvement for that matter, because I don't feel involved. I don't know or care to gossip about their family. I can only catch up with what they've been doing for so long, and playing card games only entertains for a few rounds. I hardly want to spend that much time consecutively with *anyone,* let alone extended family of my fiancee.
It's a classic case of the in-laws I suppose, but in the context of the previous work week, I told my fiancee I would go and participate, but would not be staying as long as everyone else, and would be leaving when I felt comfortable.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XFjneSQQmuErX6OkAxRZzD8tutBQgwRv
|
aicbvp
|
{
"description": "heating fish in the microwave at work",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 89
}
|
AITA for heating fish in the microwave at work?
|
I know many people dislike that, but still, when I have fish in my lunch, I will heat it and then eat it. I'm not rich enough to not eat my leftover. And our work kitchen is in the same place where we work. We eat at our desk.
(sorry for all the mistakes, english is my second language)
and I'm the boss, so no one can't really say anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 89,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 89
}
|
WRONG
|
XDdRuO7vZlN56MNR6bL8fKuDUpxKiBm1
|
9tor20
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay $18.50 to my boyfriend for ingredients for a dish I'll serve at my Mother's memorial",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay $18.50 to my boyfriend for ingredients for a dish I’ll serve at my Mother’s memorial?
|
My mom passed away in June, her memorial is tomorrow. (Delay for cooler weather, we are in Phoenix, and her birthday is tomorrow.)
My LTR boyfriend is unable to attend as he has to work. No worries about that.
However, I am organizing the event and hosting it at my house, and TBH, I’m freaking out about it.
My stress levels are through the roof. Boyfriend understands, asked if he can help.
I ask him to pick me up ingredients to make a dish he makes frequently. It’s super good but I’ve never been able to replicate it. He picks up the ingredients, and lets me know this by telling me I “owe him $18.50.”
I’m flabbergasted. I don’t see the difference between buying ingredients and bringing a dish yourself and buying ingredients for me to put together. Apparently the fact that he won’t actually be there is the difference.
He now feels I’m in a bad place financially, not being honest with him, and should have just asked for cash if that’s what I needed.
I just think any rational human being, who happened to be my boyfriend, would “donate” $18.50 to this event without thinking twice.
Neither one of us is hurting for money, by the way.
I can’t see his point. I can’t get past it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
JAcos84PuKmoCqogWVK0IluAgfBXm4rK
|
b97hft
|
{
"description": "being mad on not being able to cancel an order I technically can't cancel",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad on not being able to cancel an order I technically can't cancel?
|
I feel like this issue is one of the least significant posts on here, with problems relating to family, life, death, career floating around, I almost feel embarrassed having to ask this, but this is a rare instance where I really cannot make up my mind whether or not I did wrong. Help me, reddit.
So for more background information, I entered into a draw on a website. The draw will happen on April 5th which has not happened yet at the moment of posting. Their rules are that if you win, they will charge you after you win, and if you don't get what you want, they charge you nothing. No transaction occurs.
As you go through the buying process, it makes you check a box, and I quote:
>I understand that if I win the draw, the product will be dispatched and I will automatically be charged the price of the product plus shipping. I also understand that once my card is charged I cannot cancel the order or return this product as ALL SALES ARE FINAL.
I entered the draw, and decided to back out yesterday, April 2nd. I emailed them insisting to withdraw me from the draw, but they insisted that all sales are final and that they cannot do it because "the inventory has been locked in" or something like that, I didn't quote exactly what they said. I know for fact that my card has not been charged like the box checked, and I get that all sales are final, but this sale hasn't even gone through??
From my point of view, it's almost as if I had something in the cart, ready to order. And they have my credit card information. When I remove the item from they cart, they won't let me do it and say that I must purchase because it's already in my cart, and I think that's stupid.
From their point of view, maybe I really am just an irate patron that didn't spend enough time reading the fine print (even though I did) and asking of a great inconvenience of them to remove the order and complicate their drawing process. If someone has worked in a similar environment, I would really be keen to hear about your experiences as well. Is it really that big of a deal? Am I overreacting to making a decision too rashly that I should really just own up to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
D7O6HaflTagyH5UTF0a5YCWywYAVzw6q
|
an3njo
|
{
"description": "not wanting to jailbreak my friends 3ds",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not wanting to jailbreak my friends 3DS
|
So some backstory: I like to tinker, a lot. I have a jailbroken 3DS, Wii/Wii U and original XBOX. I enjoy it, it gives me a hobby to pass the time whilst the husband is working ungodly hours. Had a mate of his come over for a cuppa and this is how it transpired ( M is me and F is Friend):
M: *Tinkering away*
F: Hey mate, what are you working on there?
Me: Oh hey, not much, just jailbreaking my 3DS
F: Oh cool!!! So what can you do with a jailbroken console?
M: Download games to it, add cheats, do some other cool stuff that I've only read about but not tinkered with yet, etc, etc
F: Oh wow! Can you do it to mine?! *Pulls his 3DS out of his bag*
M: *Looks at the 3DS and him* Er....no
F: *blank stare* Why not? I thought we were besties!
M: We are but at the same time, I live 3 hours away from here (I live with my Mum due to her medical reasons), I don't want to get a call at 3am with you having a bitch because you tinkered with something you shouldn't have and now it's now a paperweight
F: But I can pay you!
M: You can get me a freaking Purple Lamborghini for all I care, I do it because I know what I'm doing and touching, plus it's not exactly legal what I'm doing either
F: Some fucking friend you are you *insert remarks about my mental disability here*
M: At least I've actually finally tied the knot mate, which BF are you on now? No. 56 or are we in the triple digits now?
F: Fuck this, I'm out *Grabs his stuff and heads for the door*
M: *Still sitting at the table working* Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, I don't need it pulling a Houdini
To this day he still hasn't forgiven me for the comments where as I've forgiven him but it still weighs on me: Should I have bite my tongue and just done it or just declined nicely?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
30BXRTqaiSbBZm4C4eNyZU0yqy6v8pk0
|
aiv8j5
|
{
"description": "saying my girlfriend's best friend is not hot",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying my girlfriend’s best friend is not hot?
|
So I was messaging my girlfriend and we were just messing around joking when she sends me a pic of her with her friend. I go into the chat and after the pic she said she’s hot. I said no, she responded yes, I said no again. She asked why. I said “I don’t find her attractive,” trying to not be mean and just say she’s ugly. My girlfriend got upset by this. ATIA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lzMnZlDOQBBFwt1psT1Z0jMN4rySHaMy
|
adqr70
|
{
"description": "telling my long time friend with Benifits that I didnt want to be a couple",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my long time Friend With Benifits that I didnt want to be a couple?
|
1st time posting, long time lurker. So I'm Chuck, 28M, DJ/MC from LA. My friends call me Chucky, ChuckDizzle, or just Chuck-EEEEeee... depending on the situation.
This situation is about me and my FWB Kelly. We have been chillin since college. Nothing too serious though. When either one of needs some company, the other one is there. That's pretty much how it's been since the beginning. Kelly is the sister of my friend Hyun. We have pretty much the same circle of friends, and we are all really close. Our "relationship" was never really a secret to the group, but we never officially announced what we are.
Our other friend Vi was getting married this weekend, so we all went to vegas to celebrate. Turns out that Kelly pregamed too hard, and by the time we got too the club, she was already sloppy drunk. Somehow just because we sleep together sometimes it became my responsibility to take care of her. That meant I couldn't really party, and I couldn't hook up. Was pretty pissed.
After the club we went to get tacos. Kelly suddenly screams that she had an announcement. In front of everyone Kelly says that she texted her boyfriend and broke up with him. Then she said that her and I had been sleeping together(except more explicitly) since college. She said that she was in love with me. She had been in love with me for years. She tried to fight it, I am a douchbag and an asshole, a mysogonist, broke, lazy, no future, etc, etc. And her parents hate me. But no matter how many times she has tried to find someone better than me, I am the only one in her heart. Then she tried to kiss me.
I stopped her from kissing me. everyone was stunned. They didnt know whether to laugh or not. I could tell. Hyun is just like, WTF bro? I'm just like, 1st of all, she is drunk, And we hook up sometimes, but that's it. So I'm really pissed at this point. I am talking louder than I mean to, and I tell Kelly that she is drunk. She probably doesnt know what she is saying. Even if she did, she knows I dont want that kind of relationship. I am trying to focus on my music. Plus I am not trying to settle down. Even if I were gon a settle down, Kelly wouldn't be the one I chose. She cheated on every single boyfriend she ever had(with me). And if she would cheat on them, she would prolly cheat on me too. Plus why would I wanna be with someone who thinks so lowly of me. I need somebody who supports my dreams. So no, we wont be a couple. And that whole FWB thing is done too.
She started crying. They all took her side. I took an uber back to the room. This morning I got a text talking about I should apologize.
Should I Apologize? Should I give her a chance? Am I the asshole?
TL;DR Long time FWB confessed to me drunkenly, I turned her down now everyone's mad at me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
GPqTkVR98MdpOR6tKi6sI3AAU3j3Cjpt
|
b7x6or
|
{
"description": "not standing up when my best friend says what he thinks about my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not standing up when my best friend says what he thinks about my girlfriend?
|
This happened yesterday.
Some backstory:
My girlfriend and my best friend's girlfriend got in a fight. They exchanged some mean words to each other. My bestfriend said. For eg
." your girlfriend is really stupid" and then he continued his opinion.
After a while my girlfriend aske how did i respond. I sad " that is hos opinion which is based on that fight you had with his girlfriend, if i said to him something like hey dont be rude to her it wouldn't change a thing since that is his oponion about you. Also, that would escalate in a fight between me and my bestfriend."
Am i the asshole for not saying anything about a bestfriend that talks about my girlfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
yh681Y2dwOetMpu2lmuH6Sw7wrGbEFun
|
asfwyt
|
{
"description": "not wanting to look after a stranger's child for 2 hours",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to look after a stranger's child for 2 hours?
|
I was asked by a family member if I could look after one of their friend's children for a few hours while the pair of them play tennis. It would interrupt my plans to go out with friends and I really do not want the responsibility of having to watch a total stranger's child. After saying that I wouldn't be comfortable doing that, the family member got really upset and told me that I'd "ruined her tournament". Can't decide whether to change my plans around and do this for her as I hate arguing and I know she will hold a grudge. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
iyD6tji3aad83jYvsEX5U9amOFN0PdC1
|
am73uw
|
{
"description": "lying to my friend so he doesn't get back with his ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for lying to my friend so he doesn’t get back with his ex
|
So I’m going to make this as short as possible.
My friend is very needy for love, in his own words “I won’t stop dating if I have a chance” but he just dates anyone that gives him attention for a bit. So I don’t know where he found this one girl but she was trashy. She’d cheat a lot and many other things but because she showed him love for a bit he would love her forever. So one day he got out of a relationship and somehow miss trashy found out and wanted to get back together, they broke up because she got her boyfriend (while she was dating my friend) to basically attack him over text, saying terrible things to him that was uncalled for. But she wanted I’m back because he guy she was dating cheated on her. So we where talking and he said he might get back together with her and I said “ don’t, she asked me out just yesterday” and it worked. He didn’t get back together with her, for like a week. But apparently he had been talking with the girl and she said she never asked me out and I guess her word against mine because everyone exploded. Saying “YOUR NOT MY FATHER” and “I CONTROL MY OWN LIFE” and stuff like that, we haven’t talked much sense
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
bFUo3sdfnXP7XwVX5x2fIV9KGLk70y7D
|
auonva
|
{
"description": "not getting rid of my daughter's cat after my husband found out he was allergic to cats",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not getting rid of my daughter's cat after my husband found out he was allergic to cats?
|
Backstory: When hubby and I started dating and got married I had 2 cats. After we bought a house, he went with me and picked out cat #3. Cats #1 and #2 died. Our four year old wanted a kitten. He took her to the shelter and let her pick one out. We are now back at two cats. A year or two later he gets tested for allergies because he is always sick. One of the things he is allergic to, among many other things, is cats. Not violently allergic, just sniffles and sneezes, etc. He begins taking allergy shots because he is allergic to almost all molds, pollen, grasses and tress as well as cats.
​
We fight almost daily about the cats. Our daughter is an only child and calls her car her brother. My husband hates that cat. It has peed all over our dining room and is now kept out with baby gates. The cat hates everyone but our daughter and bites everyone but our daughter. Hubby wants to throw the cats out of the house, like just put our spoiled, declawed (they were that way when we got them) cats out in the snow. Every fight he threatens that and my daughter cries and hugs the cat. I think he is being unfair making her choose between her dad and her cat. He thinks I like the cat more than I like him. Am I the asshole for not getting rid of the cat that my husband picked out for our daughter but that he is allergic to?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "wanting my fiancé to fire an employee",
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AITA: I want my fiancé to fire an employee
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He had been complaining about an employee who would close early and have her boyfriend in and hang out with him on the clock.
So one night, I’m working and her boyfriend is there during her whole shift and she shuts down the register 30 minutes early.
I messaged my fiancé about it. I attempted to send him a picture of the employee not doing work because she was standing around talking to her boyfriend. Not my finest moment, she saw me taking the picture.
During my conversation with him he said “okay, thank you for letting me know. We will work on getting a replacement.”
I felt like this was unfair since they had never spoken with her about it and offered to talk to her. Which he responded with “Please talk to her.”
I told her that it was inappropriate for her to be closing early and to have her boyfriend there. She immediately got defensive saying that she was trained to close a half hour early and I explained that had never been the policy. She then began to throw all her co-workers under the bus.
She was overreacting and kept saying she felt the need to talk to his parents about the problem. I told her that was a terrible idea and that she should see my fiancé as HR and that you don’t go talk to the CEO of the business. I explained that just because they owned the business did not mean they have managerial skills and that if they did, someone would have communicated with her before. She began panicking that she would be fired and I told her I thought she was friendly, beautiful, and hardworking and that was not going to happen. That it was all just a miscommunication and to just do her best in the future.
The second she leaves, she sends my future mother in law a text saying “call me ASAP.”
I go home and explain the situation to my fiancé and he tells me I did nothing wrong.
The next day she sits down with his parents and tells them I said she was horrible and that I made fun of her nose. His parents are angry at me for speaking with her. And suddenly he is angry at me too.
He talks to her the next day and says that he doesn’t intend on firing her because (this is her first day back) “she was doing a lot better”
She also told him “I like helloiamtrash- but she’s being weird” and talks more shit to him about her fellow coworkers.
When he gets home he asks me about the photo I took of her and I explained that I made a mistake, but that I was trying to show him that she was slacking off. He’s extremely hung up on this and keeps telling me how wrong it was. I get that; but I also do not feel like that makes what she did okay.
I’m upset that he does not plan on letting her go after she disrespected and betrayed me to my future family. I’m also upset that they had every intention of firing her until Now. He wants me to just “let it go” and I don’t even feel comfortable going into a business I feel I helped build.
AITA? I just want to feel supported by my SO and future in-laws.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "going to the media over an issue with my kid's school",
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AITA for going to the media over an issue with my kid’s school?
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I have a kindergartner, and about a month ago the teacher called me and said my kid called another classmate a name and the parents wrote the teacher a letter about it because their kid was upset. So the teacher tells me she read the letter to my kid and he was required to apologize to the classmate and write an apology note. He apologized at school and had the option of writing his apology note at home or school. He chose home.
I picked him up from school that day and the teacher reminded me about the note. I asked if I could see a copy of the letter so I could make sure we addressed all the concerns of the other parent. The apology note would be a lot different if the note was “my kid was upset and embarrassed and doesn’t want to be around this other kid anymore” versus “what little jerk called my daughter a psycho and when can I expect his head on a platter”. Teacher said I could not see it, even with the other kid’s info blacked out. She told me she read my kid the letter, but refused to let me see it.
I went to the principal and got the same answer, so I took it to the school board, then superintendent, and the district superintendent. All of them have maintained that it would be a breach of confidentiality to let me see the letter. I believe the confidentiality was broken when the teacher read it to my son, which she now denies doing, of course. So the story hit our local news and I did the bad thing and read the comments on the story from the trolls. At the time I felt like I was doing the right thing, holding them accountable for reading a letter (from a parent to a teacher) to a kindergartner and then telling me I had no right to see/read/hear the contents. Now, it’s blown up and I’m doubting myself.
AITA for taking it this far? Should I have let this go and just moved on?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "having an opinion on someone's story",
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WIBTA for having an opinion on someone’s story
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So there’s this girl at my high school who I don’t talk to much and she recently posted on Snapchat that “Guys make girls go into drugs and drinking cause the guys say that the other girls do that” and she was saying how “girls are treated like objects” so pretty much I’m on here asking. Would I be the asshole if I where to tell her that both boys and girls do this
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HYPOTHETICAL
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"description": "calling my brother's girlfriend out for her behaviour",
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WIBTA if i call my brother’s girlfriend out for her behaviour?
|
My brother and I has always been close, even with his multiple girlfriends in the past. We share multiple hobbies like gaming together and we have a great relationship.
About 6 months back, he got a new girlfriend and ever since then, I have been spending lesser and lesser time with him due to his girlfriend’s obvious displeasure with me spending time with him. Do note that I have not done anything that offended her, she’s just really attached to my brother. So, everytime I start chatting with my brother, it never last more than 5 minutes because she would just be sitting beside quietly and showing a face of displeasure. When she’s at work and my brother gets to game with me, she expresses displeasure when my brother doesn’t reply her in time. Due to this, we hardly game now as she limits and complains about his gaming time. (Which is usually only 2-3 rounds?)
Look, I understand that couples have to spend time with each other and all, but they are literally stuck at the hip 24/7. She’s always hanging around my house and has been really incosiderate to my family but laughing and talking really loud even at night. (She has a really high pitched voice.)
There has been instances where she was rude to my parents as well. One instance was that she walked out of the room in anger when my mom said something that opposed her views.
Usually, I am quite a amicable person and don’t like to pick up fights, but this is really getting out of hand. So WIBTA if i call her out on it?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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WIBTA for locking my stepbrother out of the house?
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He is my mother's boyfriend's son. We are both 21. We both have our other parent's house so he does have where to sleep if I lock him out. Legally, this house is 100% my mother's.
Every time my mother and her boyfriend travel it’s the same thing: I’m the responsible one and the sole guardian of the house. My step brother has one of the two keys but I can double lock the house and I’d be the only one to have the second key apart from my grandma.
It sounds nice having the place to myself while mom and her boyfriend are away, but it also carries many responsibilities: I’m fighting a pest problem, I have to wake up early to walk the dog, wash my clothes, do the dishes, tend to the garden (tomatoes, onions, spices), buy groceries, make sure the dog is not left alone for too long, on top of that I work and study. This is a big house so it’s very difficult keeping it clean on my own when there's normally five of us.
My step brother does absolutely none of these things. He is usually at his mom's house but will come home with very short notice very late at night. After many years of him kicking the door to wake me up until I opened the double locked door, he has finally learned to send me a message (never earlier than 10:00 pm) to let me know he is coming that night. He arrives late at night, sleeps all day, will not help if there's an issue, will leave dirty dishes on the sink, and wet underwear on the bathroom floor.
I try not to cause trouble with him because his dad will not let me say anything to his kids directly. So I usually let things like him coming on short notice slide (meaning I let his dad know but don’t push the issue when nothing happens). The only thing I ask of him is to clean up after himself.
This week he had already left his underwear on the floor twice, and I’m handling a lot more stuff than usual I’m very stressed, so he finally got some scolding. The thing is, he reacted screaming on the phone to my mom that I’m leaving the kitchen in a disgusting state and how dare I ask him to clean up when I’m such a pig. It left me in tears.
I have been doing SO much stuff, that yes, I cooked and left some dirty dishes in the sink for a couple days while I solved some big issues at work. So here is the thing: he does not use the kitchen and doesn´t clean, so the only one who has to clean two-day-old nasty dishes is me. He only leaves his room to use the bathroom so he only sees the mess on his way there.
I’m reaching my breaking point and nothing will be done apart from asking him to pick up his underwear from the damn floor. I invited him to give me a hand with the cleaning so that I can keep up with the chores and he won’t.
He has just left to his mom's, next time he tells me at 10:00 pm to leave the door unlocked for him I won’t, and pretend to be sleeping. And I will keep doing it until my mom is back. He will have to go all the way to his mom's an hour away in the middle of the night to sleep. WIBTA?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to visit my homeland this year because I've already made plans",
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AITA for not wanting to visit my homeland this year because I’ve already made plans?
|
I’m a high school student that’s about to be applying for colleges, so extracurriculars and programs that could potentially be beneficial to my resume is everything to me right now. I want to be able to expand myself as a person and take on as many opportunities I can. I want to be able to take advantage of whatever I’m allowed my hands on. I’ve already gotten offers for a bunch of prestigious summer programs and internships that would be highly beneficial to my portfolio. I’m in the process of completing my applications for them as well. In fact, I’m waiting to hear back on one of them soon.
However, this morning, my mom told my dad&I out of nowhere that we were visiting Vietnam this summer. There was no mention of this trip prior. My dad was just as surprised and objected as much as I did. She refused to take no for an answer, even though I explained to her that this year would be the only year I’d reject. Any other year was fine, but this year was too important to me. She wouldn’t hear it though. So, I snapped and definitely told her that I wasn’t going. She would have to drag me out in order to make me go.
Was I too harsh?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "being upset",
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AITA for being upset
|
Yesterday was my sister’s birthday. She just turned 26. She wanted to go out to dinner with myself, my mom, and a few of her friends. She chooses a little family-owned Italian restaurant in town with a decent price range. So far, so good!
We get there and she tells me that she doesn’t have any money, like $.44 USD in her bank account broke. I told her that instead of buying her a present, a would go ahead and pay for her dinner.
The time comes to order and she orders not only an entree, but an appetizer and alcohol. I was a bit annoyed because I didn’t agree to pay for all of that, but ok, it’s her birthday, I’ll be nice.
Dinner comes and goes, everyone has fun. My sister is laughing and talking with her friends while I’m paying the bill. She then gets in her car and leaves... not so much as a hint of “Thank you for dinner!”. We grew up in the Southern US where manners and courtesy are a big deal.
I feel like she was so ungrateful and entitled, especially for someone who went to a restaurant with $.44 in her account, assuming someone else would pay.
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HISTORICAL
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b8o03v
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"description": "sleeping on the couch",
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AITA for sleeping on the couch?
|
I'm an 18 year old student and currently living with my parents because I can't afford not to.
Recently, my parents and I have moved to another country. Due to citizenship issues, my dad is currently living in our old country, and unable to be here. He has the car, neither my mom or I can drive.
The issue is we were unable to move my bed from our old house to our new apartment. So we got me a manual-inflatable air mattress (pump with your hands) as a bed, and my mom has a very specific idea on what she wants "my" bed to be. Since I'll be moving out as fast as possible, she wants to buy a certain kind of bed for guests and etc. Before my dad left, they went to an Ikea a couple hours away to look at beds, and asked what kind I wanted. I said I didn't care, I personally was fine with my air mattress, and honestly this is probably my fault for not pushing them to get a bed.
They didn't get a bed, my dad left for my old country, so now I'm just living with my mom with no car and pretty much out of most cheap delivery ranges.
My air mattress started deflating. It would fully deflate within an hour of me laying on it, I can't find any holes, so now I'm basically just laying on the floor unless I manually pump it. I already have hip issues so it doesn't help I'm laying on the floor, and I didn't want to bother my mom about it and give her the stress of getting a bed all the way out here somehow, so I'm sleeping on the couch in the living room.
Here's where the AITA comes in. She gets up at 5 AM every day, makes her breakfast, and watches TV during it. There is a chair in the room, and I won't wake up if she watches TV (that's been proven) , but she finds it incredibly irritating that I am asleep on the couch and gets pissed off at me for it. She finally snapped this morning, texted my dad, and they both made me wake up and get off the couch.
I fully understand why she's mad. This is pretty much the only time she has without work or me. And I'm there. So I'll be moving back to my room (while stealing a couple pillows to put under me lol) to leave her be. But AITA for wanting to sleep not on the floor?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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afq42x
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{
"description": "telling my friend that men will not want to come to a traditional coed baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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|
AITA for telling my friend that men will not want to come to a traditional coed baby shower?
|
My friend asked me and another friend if she should make her baby shower coed. Myself and my other friend said no. She said she wants to invite men because her husband said he wanted his friends to come and so she doesn't want to deprived him of not having his buddies there.
I told her straight up that the onky reaaon he asked to have friends there is because he doesn't want to be stuck in a room full of women doing baby shower things by himself.
We offered some ideas that if she wants to have a coed party, she should not force the games/present opening on the men and have craft beers and cigars from them.
She said she wants only a traditional shower with everyone participating in games and WILL NOT have beer or cigars at her shower. She seemed appalled at the suggestion.
I said she should do what she wants but just know that men do not like those things, and won't want to be there. I feel like I offended her but I think she needs a reality check that dudes don't want to play games, eat dainty food while sipping rose, or watch a woman open baby gifts.
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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ah44up
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{
"description": "going over my doctor's head to get a temporary disabled parking permit? and muttering something about malpractice",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 24
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|
AITA for going over my doctor's head to get a temporary disabled parking permit? And muttering something about malpractice?
|
Five weeks ago I had a bad fall, and I saw my new doctor four days later. As of today, I can slowly limp 100m before I need to sit, and can probably do 500m on crutches if there's an emergency. My doctor refused twice to give me a temporary disabled parking permit. The second refusal was today, just after he gave me the results of my MRI (prepatellar bursitis). He said that it would be at least a few months before I'm fully recovered, but that he'd rather have a surgeon decide how long would be appropriate for the permit. I even asked him for an extra short (two month) permit just to tide me over, but he refused. The consultation ended and I went straight to the staff, quite emotional. I definitely used the "malpractice" word. He came over, his boss came over, he filled out the paperwork (with the assistance of the office staff), and then he stormed off.
I fully believe I'm \*entitled\* to a temporary permit, given my condition, the short-term prognosis, and the requirements for the permit. If I put too much weight on my leg, I'll collapse like a sack of warm truffles, and extended periods of standing/walking cause a sharp, grinding pain. I suspect he simply didn't want the hassle of filling out paperwork (he asked the staff what to write, line by line - English isn't his first language and the form was unfamiliar to him). It's not like I was asking for opiates - I'm not a bad patient - all I wanted was some relief from the pain of walking through parking lots for a short while. However, I worry that I've messed up my relationship with my new doctor. Going to the clinic staff when I didn't get what I wanted wasn't nice. Saying the m-word may have been a mistake. On the other hand, my chart does say "bipolar". Sigh.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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amdh4v
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{
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|
AITA for ghosting a date that turned up high?
|
For some context, I’d been texting with this guy for a long time and we’d been really flirty back and forth. He invited me over to finally get together, and I accepted. I’d had a huge crush on him in high school (all of ten years ago), so I was really excited to get to see him and possibly reconnect. He was the one who invited me over, and had expressed how excited he was to see me again.
So for our first get together, I went to his apartment, and right away I could tell he smoked. His clothes reeked of weed, and his eyes were bloodshot/he kept having to blink. And I mean way more than someone without severe allergies would. On top of this, he was squinting at me the whole time we talked despite it being 7 or 8 at night, and lost track of conversation topics in the middle of talking. It made the conversation fall short and there was a lot of awkward silence, followed by him asking what I’d just said when I hadn’t said anything.
I finally confronted him and asked him if he was high, to which he responded “how can you tell?” I told him all of the above, and he only denied the smell, stating he was on edibles and there shouldn’t be a smell. As a major note here, marijuana isn’t legal in my state. I wasn’t sure how to proceed without coming off like a huge ass, so I had a friend call me and claim an emergency so I could bail.
I don’t want to make some big thing over weed itself. Most of the time, it really doesn’t bother me if people smoke in private and don’t get in trouble for it. This time it just got to me, if only because this was something we’d planned for a while now. Plus, if this was how he wanted to act after not seeing each other for ten years on day one, I didn’t want to see more.
So AITA for bailing on a shitty excuse and cutting contact?
|
HISTORICAL
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atr58g
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{
"description": "not texting a guy to remind him we had a date",
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|
AITA for not texting a guy to remind him we had a date?
|
This happened a bit ago, and I've always been curious So, I matched a guy on a dating website. We planned to meet on a Saturday morning, before work. He told me he would text me at 10am, to let me know where we would go. I had work at 3pm.
I got up, got ready, and waited. Nothing. I text him. He tells me he's sorry, something came up, can we do tomorrow. Fine. It happens. Except now I'm up, showered, dressed, made-up for no reason, and nothing to do till 3pm.
So, Sunday rolls around, and this time, I get up at the agreed upon time, but this time, waiting for the call. After an hour, screw it, I go back to sleep.
Don't hear from him all day. Monday afternoon, he texts me asking about next Saturday. I say, something along the lines of, how he was rude, didn't call, didn't text, nothing. Just ghosted. That was rude. He tells me, and I'll never forget, "Texting works both ways."
My response? "It's not my job to chase you down for a date you asked me on."
He called me a real bitch. Told me I was entitled, that's not how it works. That he really dodged a bullet with me. Good luck with my impossible standards.
It was my first (or supposed to be), actual date online. It really shook me. And, I just wonder, *am* I wrong? I'm NTA here, right? I've mulled it over so much. I just need to know an objective opinion.
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HISTORICAL
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b1s0ja
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{
"description": "not wanting to babysit my sister in law's infant child",
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|
AITA For not wanting to babysit my sister in law's infant child?
|
We'll set the scene here. Last night at around 6:00 PM, my girlfriend gets a text from her sister asking if she can babysit her niece. Immediately my girlfriend agrees (we had just babysat her probably 4-5 days ago as well, which I didn't really mind). She's asking if my girlfriend can babysit from 7 to 7 (12 hours total for those who don't want to do the math), and my girlfriend tells me (not asks me, TELLS ME) that I'm coming along too. Her sister has no food in the house, and will likely not be paying my girlfriend for this, which we don't normally care about because she's family. I have slept about 4 hours due to issues with my insomnia (which she is aware of). She is currently at her sister's house, pissed off that I don't want to come. I get that she doesn't want to be alone all day babysitting her niece, but I wasn't the one who was asked, and she just assumed I would do it. She's calling me and sending me angry texts because I won't come over right this second to help her. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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OM50ZSrbILL5s8sDEYlP0pwU3MMGFxp2
|
ai2juu
|
{
"description": "lying about meeting up with a female friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for lying about meeting up with a female friend?
|
(sorry in advance, my native language is not English and I'm on mobile)
This is a story about my ex and I in the summer, and I have had multiple fights about this with her and after ending it a week ago, I now wonder if I was the asshole.
So, my (now ex) girlfriend and I had a wonderful relationship with each other, until the summer of 2018. We are both teens and live in Europe, so we had about six weeks of summer vacation before we had to go to school again. Both of our parents had plans to go on vacation, but she was going to be going to Ecuador for three of the six weeks of vacation, and beforehand I went to Austria, which lead to about a month of not seeing each other and a big time difference of about 6 hours without a lot of places with wifi.
When I came back from my vacation in Austria, she had just left and we couldn't really speak due to her being on flights and time difference. This meant for me that I didn't really have anyone to talk to, because most of my friends didn't really like meeting up or were on vacation theirselves. There was one (female) friend, however, that was home. I didn't really know her that well, having only really having a friendship for a few months, but she had a friend from America staying over for a few weeks. First I didn't really do anything with them, but at some point my friend had to go to work and I suggested I could take the American of a little tour of my city centre. I did this, with my girlfriend knowing it and she didn't mind at all, no this is just the beginning.
After a few days of me meeting up with my friend and the American, my ex started to complain. We didn't speak that much and she felt lonely, and I now also think that she was jealous of me being able to meet up with friends and she wasn't. So, after that I started to be a bit more careful about telling her about my time with the two, because I noticed it kinda hurt her, and we fighted a bit over nothing at all. She also made a few rules for me, for instance I wasn't allowed to enter my friend's house and I was not allowed to ever meet up with only my friend.
Skip forward a few weeks, my ex is on her way of coming back and the American left to go back to America. This meant I automatically wasn't allowed by my girlfriend to meet up with my friend anymore, because she didn't want me to do anything with my friend like I said before.
My friend was feeling very lonely and very sad, she basically really needed me. So I decided to tell my ex that I was going to my friend's house to say a final goodbye, because I wasn't allowed to meet up with her. I instead went into the city together with her, to buy gifts for my ex and then we went into a park and sat on a bench with a meter between us eating cheap donuts and a drink. It was pretty enjoyable tbh.
Like I said before, my ex and I couldn't really talk to each other due to time difference and the lack of wifi, but a lot of the talking consisted of fighting. I was obviously pretty sad about this and with my ex being so far away from me, I was already considering breaking up with her when she came back, and so I send my friend the message: "Sometimes, I would like even you to be my girlfriend instead of her" to show my feelings. It was a joke in a sense, something like: "haha nobody will like you" but my friend was used to these kinds of jokes from me. I never considered this as a good thing to do, but it was a in the moment message. I didn't like my friend in a relationship way, so I never considered actually having a relationship with her.
My ex came back, and we met up, and it was very good. I really liked that, but she slept over at my place at some point and when I went to my bathroom to put in my lenses and making breakfast for her, she unlocked my phone and started to read my conversations with my friend. Mostly it was full of jokes, but at some point she found the message I talked about earlier. I then admitted every lie I told her.
My ex forced me to block my friend on everything, I wasn't allowed to say anything to her anymore, no possible contact. She told me I cheated on her, while I never kissed her or anything. This obviously made my friend very sad and it made me sad too, I was just forced to block her and say nothing. I tried talking to my friend multiple times but my ex stopped every attempt.
About 4 months passed and I broke up with her. I now am talking to my friend again and she is doing pretty good, which I am extremely happy of. My ex made me feel like the asshole, and that she wasn't jealous at all.
So Reddit, am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
WbQUcHCP6vBcOgDIeTREtj4C2VlJeMja
|
aqn3ps
|
{
"description": "not paying for my friends restaurant bill",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not paying for my friends restaurant bill?
|
Context:
​
My friend, we'll call him Steven, loves to go out to eat with his friends. Almost weekly. A lot of the times I don't have extra funds to go out with them because I have bills to pay. Rent, Phone, Car, Car ins, Credit card, groceries, etc. and my job isn't very lucrative. Well Steven on the other hand is currently in school and is in the position where he doesn't have to pay bills.
​
Almost every weekend Steven will message the group chat to go out and more often than not I'll say "sorry guys budgets tight this week" and steven hits me with the "I gotchu" and every time he says that I am extremely hesitant. For whatever reason when people spot me or give me money I get extremely uncomfortable but every time he always convinces me.
​
Of course I am very courteous and grateful that he does this. I always order a dish that costs less than his meal, I only order 1 drink, and I always try to be the one that tips the waiter so I feel like I'm contributing somewhat.
​
Well recently he made a snarky comment that put me on my heels, he said in the group chat "Am I gonna have to pay for StromboliMans night out.... Again?" I'm sure he was joking because that's just our group, we give each other shit for shits and giggles but for some reason that really irked me. Like it felt as if it was super passive aggressive and it just made me feel like a mooch/asshole. This was one of the nights where I had some extra funds and wanted to buy a round of beer and shots for my homies but that comment made me feel miserable so I flaked last minute, so I just need to know... AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
pKkxWH0QgfTDYI3cc8mMeiVHqxyG0oQk
|
ah1wou
|
{
"description": "not putting my foot down with weird guys",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not putting my foot down with weird guys?
|
Good day, I'm new here so I hope I get this right.
So, I'm a very awkward girl with people I don't know, I don't have a lot of friends mostly because I always make a barrier towards new people. I tend to overthink a lot and I overthink my actions before I do them because I don't want to seem rude with people I don't know.
So I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 7 years, and the more we talk about our every day, the problems kinda begin to bubble up.
It all started almost 1 year ago, I had classes that ended at 9 pm and since I don't drive, I had to wait for my brother to come pick me up, while I was waiting for him, a guy approached me to make some small talk since we were both waiting and I decided to respond because I also thought that that might be the last time I'd see him, I was still carefully answering some of the personal questions he asked until my brother finally came for me. He didn't strike me as a weirdo at first, just some bored guy trying to talk to make the wait less annoying.
So, the next night, he's back and tries to make small talk again, I'm awkwardly trying to answer while listening some music, I was reading a conversation I had with a classmate and this guy started saying things like "Oh, you're talking to your boyfriend?" and "you're probably asking for help" stuff like that, I tried to brush it off like "hahah, okay..?", my brother finally shows up and I thanked the heavens.
The next few days some classes ended way earlier because it was the beginning of the semester and since I was there for only half an hour I didn't want to annoy my mom (she drove me to school and then she went to visit my aunt who lives a few blocks away from the school) so I decided to just wait for an hour more, took out my laptop and tried to make homework but ended up watching videos, BIG MISTAKE, I should have gone somewhere else because there he suddenly appears and had a look that he wanted to stay forever there making crappy small talk about videogames (I have a The legend of Zelda backpack), at this point, I'm starting to get more annoyed but still wanting to be polite, until he begins to make weird "jokes" saying "You have some nice shoes, what would you do if I took them off and start running away with them? would you run after me?" and started to say the same about my backpack. I was really uncomfortable and trying to smile at his "jokes" while saying "I'd run towards the security guard and make you get expelled" but since I'm an awkward dork I couldn't get it as aggressive as I wanted and he took it as nothing, he also tried to tip off my laptop from my legs and insinuated I add him on facebook. I was at the point of getting annoyed and scared when my mom shows up out of nowhere and I ran away as fast as I could.
Of course, I had to tell everything to my mom and my SO, my SO felt really bad because he couldn't be here to protect me but this experience lately turned into a "you have to start to be assertive and push them off the instant some weird person starts to be disgusting with you and stop trying to 'laugh' or lead on their 'jokes'". I understand what my SO says, I know what to do but not how to execute it since I overthink my actions. This has gotten to the point where my SO says I don't respect him for not being able to put my foot down with the weird guys.
Am I the asshole? How can I change this part of myself?
Thank you guys for your time and attention.
TL;DR: I'm awkward, I got stalked(?) at school and now this is a problem in my relationship because my SO thinks I don't respect him or our relationship because I don't defend myself.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
UbWwtulRHhKYCn8HeNT9U37J30OBQXEt
|
auouff
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut contact with cop brother",
"pronormative_score": 87,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut contact with cop brother?
|
I'm 21 and in college, my brother is 26, and has recently become a police officer. I'm pretty left and he's fairly right and we both sort of have always had an unspoken pact not to discuss these things around each other because both of us have strong disagreements. I've heard him some stuff I'd strongly disagree with over earshot, but nothing that a super large chunk of the country doesn't also believe in.
My older brother and I used to be very close and we have drifted a bit, mainly due to the way we view each other as people. I came out as gay a little way ago and am sort of naturally very soft-spoken and effeminate and he's a "macho guy" stereotype in a lot of ways, not to oversimplify. There are a lot of "small" issues I've had with him on my frequent weeklyish home visits. We get along better on the phone where we talk once or twice a week, basically entirely about baseball, our only real shared interested.
Otherwise, he says shit I find gross, he can be condescending/paternalistic, he has pulled me over three separate times as a "joke" as I was driving back home, scaring the shit out of me each time.
In truth though none of these are the "real" reason. Last time I was home we were playing a family game of rummikub and basically he told a story about how he pulled a guy over with his wife and one year old child in the backseat, basically scared him into agreeing to let him search the car, and then arresting him for an absurdly low amount of MJ. (like, a joint's worth, if I understood correctly). He went into great detail about how the guy and his wife were both sobbing while it happened and trying to tell him how it was medicinal and he (my brother) said the whole thing with this great smile on his face.
I don't want to sound dramatic but it was so fucking crazy. I kept thinking that it sounded more like a fisherman talking about catching a fish than a human being. He laughed and threw in jokes about and mentioned that the people were visibly poor (shitty car), and he still did it and didn't sound remorseful. It wasn't like "oh, i don't agree with it but it's the law, sorry", it was "lol then I took them to jail, I managed to trick him into agreeing to the search, I win the game! fifty points!".
I have never smoked but I have a good friend I met in college who has a chronic physical condition and who smokes regularly and says that it has basically allowed him to live. I kept thinking "man, you'd do that to my friend, you'd do that to anyone". Like he's fine with totally ruining lives over nothing.
I haven't spoken to him in two weeks without an explanation beyond "I don't want to talk rn". I feel completely disconnected from him as a person and I honestly don't see how I could reasonably separate what he proudly does for a living while giggling and him as "my brother". It's so shitty and blatantly evil.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Z3EBh6coAP6mlFoobsM5AjnQbvYgvaeq
|
9y7bst
|
{
"description": "abandoning my friend at a club due to a panic attack",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for abandoning my friend at a club due to a panic attack?
|
Prefacing the actual story, I suffer from ADHD and sensory processing dysfunction. Whenever sensory overload occurs I tend to react extremely irrational. I also want to state that I made my friend aware of that shortly after we met a year ago or so. Still, my condition does not stop me from attempting to get into situations where sensory overstimulation may occur (such as a party/club), after all, I cant just crawl into my shell all day long everyday.
Yesterday, I was in such a situation. My friend and I decided to have a night out at a local club to celebrate her newfound job (shes been jobless for a few months) and just to have a good time in general. Things started out well. Shots were poured, laughs were had and stories were shared.
After about 2-3 hours of fun, she suddenly decided to get a cig. Unfortunately, she didnt bring any herself. Instead, she decided to simply go into the smokers area and ask around if anyone was willing to share. She asked me if I would join her, but as an non-smoker I decided against it.
So she left me to my devices and went for a cig. 5 minutes turned into 10, 15, 20 minutes. Slowly, the effects of my last shot were fading away and I started to realize how full the club had become. Music started to appear louder to me, people kept shoving past me and I just felt left alone and sensory overload started to creep in. I felt anxiety and nervousness take hold of me.
I started contemplating trying to find her and tell her but I decided to suck it up and stay put. Dont ask why, but for some reason I didnt want to disturb her smoking session.
Just as about 25 minutes had passed, she suddenly returned. With a guy in tow. She offered him drinks and asked him to join us. I politely shook his hand, but my brain somehow percieved him as just another load onto my already overloaded brain. I also didnt want to put up with being third wheeled that night either.
So thats when I snapped. My brain was in full fight or flight mode. When she turned to the bar to order new shots, I simply grabbed my coat and walked out. I eventually reached a bus station and got a ticket home. Only when my anger and panic started to fade the realisation crept in that I am probably a massive asshole and moron for leaving her alone in a club at 2 AM. I quickly messaged her, apologizing profusely but trying to explain I acted purely on instinct. She was pretty drunk so she was just confused.
However, as I woke up this morning I tried to call her to talk it out and she just snapped at me for not telling her that I felt unwell and accusing me of not trusting that she would understand. Instead I left her alone in town in her, lets just say, "attractive" outfit with no way home. Which is totally fair, thats exactly what I did. I just hadnt thought about any of it while in full flight mode.
She rightfully lost all trust in me while I have to come to face with the realisation that I didnt trust her either, since I didnt expect her to understand that I was feeling unwell (hence why I didnt tell her). But am I really the asshole in this situation, or should she have been more considerate?
_____________________________________________________
TL;DR: Had a sensory overload-induced panic attack in a club, got third wheeled, both of which caused me to get up and leave my friend behind without a word. She is now mad at me for not telling her that I needed to leave. Am I truly an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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Y1isf4jm9DBLZs93W10OfGAmtqCaAMka
|
an347k
|
{
"description": "wanting to break up with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to break up with my boyfriend?
|
Hello Reddit! I'm new to making posts and English is not my first language, so I'd like to apologize beforehand if I make mistakes or things are hard to follow.
​
Anyway, I'm a 20 year old female and I'm a full time student so I don't have much money, but I'm fortunate enough to live in my own apartment. We have been in a long-distance relationship for about 7 months give or take. There's 6000 miles between us so the distance is pretty rough for a student. Because of this my boyfriend is the one who visited me and is currently living with me.
Here is little background. I'm from a small and relatively poor country and I'm used to helping around the house because I was raised by a single parent who had to work full time to support me and my siblings. Even though my childhood wasn't the easiest, since I didn't have an adult around due to my mom being at work all the time, I'm still grateful that I learned how to take care of myself from a young age. But my boyfriend on the other hand is from a rich family and hasn't really had to worry about anything in his life. His parents pay for his bills, education, insurance, etc. Before coming to live with me he used to still live under his parents roof although he is already 23 years old. That's all fine with me I'm happy that he had an easier time in that regards than me, but what irritates me is that he can't do any basic household chores and expects me to do everything because I do them better. "Well I don't know if I should cook because it's never going to be as good as your cooking", "oh I don't know, you should probably clean because I can't read the labels and you do it more thorough".
He also has lied to me about things that weren't a dealbreaker to me but still really shitty thing to do especially for someone who says that they hate lies more than everything and could never be with a liar. He lied about his age and liking cleaning and cooking. But that's not where it ends. He visited me first once before he came here to live. Between those we broke up for a brief period of time because he wouldn't take a no as an answer so things happened that ended up violating me. Due to that I ended our relationship after he went back to home. He didn't take it well and started guilt tripping me and insulting me like crazy because he knows that I have hard time to standing up for myself. But this time I didn't give up and said that the relationship was over. I ended up having to block him because he would not leave me alone even though I asked many times, so I had no other choice. He still made a new account on a messaging app and started bombarding me with messages telling me that that his parents are kicking out, because they got tired of him not doing anything (he wasn't working/studying at the time he'd just sit in his room all day playing games and watching anime, so he was a NEET pretty much) and now he needed to find his own place within a week. And he told me this a day after the break up. I still stood my ground and said that the break up is final. I still kept talking to him to make sure he is fine, but TWO days later he already made up with his parents and wasn't going to get kicked out anymore. They even promised to pay for his tuition, although just TWO days ago they were ready to cut all ties with him and absolutely would not pay for his school or even help him find a job. At this point I was getting suspicious of everything he has told me about his parents (who I haven't ever met or even talked to) is true. He would always tell me how his parents are horrible people, but nothing he ever told really made any sense considering he talks to them daily and they are really generous are to him.
I didn't want to take him back but he insisted that he wants to come back just to talk things through and since he is going back to school he won't be staying. I didn't really agree to it but he still came and I end up taking him back. Whenever I would ask when he is going back he wouldn't give me a straight answer, but one day he told me that he is doing online classes so he wants to stay here with me I was so mad. Never did he ever say that he was even planning to stay here. He even said many times before coming that he is for sure going back due to school. I was livid but still just accepted it knowing he can't stay here for long because he only had a travel visa so he could stay for 3 months.
​
He had bought me a ring and propose to me. Initially I said yes because despite all I do love him and things were going great for us. He made promises that he is going to help me more and make my life easier. I thought he was still settling in but nothing changed. He still keeps being childish, picky and doesn't want to help me unless I snap. And he keeps complaining almost daily that it's too dusty because of my cat, although I vacuum almost daily at least every two days. And he keeps telling me that I should have a pet with no fur instead. He keeps pushing my cat away and won't let him sleep on the bed. I would be fine with not letting my cat sleep on the bed, but he is a senior cat that I've had over 10 years and always has slept next to me. I feel especially hurt when he does that because my cat is my baby and I love him more than anything.
I let him meet my family, but my mom doesn't speak English, only my siblings do. Even with having a language barrier my mom didn't really like him although I tried to make him seem really nice and loving. He acted childish and picky around her and even threw a fit at a grocery store when my mom was offering to buy us fish. He said that he will absolutely not eat anything with the skin still on. I just brushed it off and told him that I will eat it then and he can figure out something for himself. This was not the first time he acted childish and picky in public embarrassing me. He has way too expensive taste that I can't afford and I'm saying I can't afford it because he doesn't help paying for anything except food every once in a while. I pay for the rent, electricity, water, internet and food. I have my own bills to pay and I need to get books for school almost every month and he doesn't even help me pay for birth control. I'm getting really tired of taking care of him and I want to focus on school and myself instead.
​
I still love him and I enjoy spending time with him. He has made me laugh more than anyone else and I never get bored when we're doing something, but I don't know if I still should stay with him. By no means am I perfect either I have hard time being open with people so I can't communicate until I've had enough and I have bad anxiety and depression so I might see things differently than he does. I've still tried to tell him how I feel but there hasn't been any changes. So am I the asshole for wanting to break up and take time for myself?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
EA38KvfMZFAWnAMV7k9ZYulXTGoph7ru
|
a6ty4f
|
{
"description": "bringing my Nintendo Switch home but not letting my baby nephew touch it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I brought my Nintendo Switch home but don't let my baby nephew touch it?
|
I Just bought a Switch I'm super excited about. I (22M) live apart from my family but am going home for a week for holiday vacation. My baby nephew who is 2 years old is gonna be there too and I know if he sees it he will want to play with it, as much as slobbering all over it counts as playing. He's obsessed with touch screens and buttons and I know he would start wailing if he saw it but I wouldn't let him play with it. I just bought it so its all nice and clean and just don't wanna get it dirty or risk getting it dropped. But I do want to bring it for the long plane ride and to play with my parents and other siblings while I'm home. WIBTA if I brought it but told my sister I don't want her kid playing with it at all?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
24sRJHJ8Bxj767ii9amzVCFn2m4U3fhq
|
avnzs5
|
{
"description": "taking my drunk friend's keys and pretending to throw them in a field",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for taking my drunk friend’s keys and pretending to throw them in a field?
|
This happened about an hour ago, and he’s still crawling around the grass trying to find them. The backstory...
Typical Wednesday night at college - we’re out drinking and having fun when our crew of friends decide to move on to a different house party. We’re about to walk there when my incredibly intoxicated buddy, let’s call him Steve, demands that he drive instead. We all try to get his keys peacefully, but when he decides someone will have to “fight” him to get said keys, my other friends just say screw this, it’s your funeral, and walk off to the other house. I used to wrestle in high school, so I did a quick double leg takedown while Steve wasn’t paying attention, and grabbed the keys.
Steve decides to take a couple drunken swings at me, but he’s off his rocker and just flails around a bit before realizing he’s not going to connect, and starts begging me for the keys back. The house we were partying at backs up to a town multi-use field, so I did my best “fake throw” possible (hell, it works on my dog), and he goes bounding into the field like a goddamn golden retriever in a frantic search.
I’m looking at him right now, desperately searching blade by blade - I think he’s crying - but he just screams “FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF!” whenever I get near him. A few minutes ago a couple of the same friends we were with earlier passed by us on their way home, and told me I was a total asshole for taking his keys, it’s not my business and I should just give them back to him right away.
The thing is, I’m pretty sure he’ll just jump in his car and speed away, drunk as all hell. So, I’m the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
rET4HNoXWRbEBYqDc2Bu5QtLpZS1BOcY
|
aj6cy6
|
{
"description": "picking on my friend till he tackled me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for picking on my friend till he tackled me?
|
We were sitting at lunch all joking around when my friend who we’ll call “G” started picking on all of us like he usually does.
He was calling us all stupid and we rebutdtaled by pointing out how bad his exam scores were. He got a little upset and started to talk about how he went to a national competition and we started making fun of him for only getting 63rd place
He then started telling my friend, who has severe depression, to kill him self and how no one would miss him. At this point we just kept talking about how bad it was that he got 63rd place.
He said if I said one more thing about it than he was gonna tackle me, me not being one to cave so easily I made another joke about it. The next thing I know I’m on the ground surrounded by 3 teachers.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
bnFdNYd2gWu6AzDcJYoqviVEKUSpfHBD
|
asjdbz
|
{
"description": "I was heckling at trivia for supposedly cheating and I yelled back at the individual",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA if I was heckled at trivia for supposedly cheating and I yelled back at the individual
|
AITA if I was being heckled by a so-called "nice old guy" at a trivia night?
I was participating in a trivia night. You answered questions then handed your answer sheet to another team to mark. There were 5 rounds, with a 15 minute break between round 3 and 4 (so they did rounds 1-3, marked them, then break, then rounds 4-5, then the final marks). We had completed all rounds, and the other team was marking our card. A question came up in which there was some debate. I grabbed my phone to look it up, seeing as I had no way of changing the outcome of the game, nor could I change any of my answers since the other team had my card. While I'm holding up my phone to say the question was inaccurate, some older guy across the way starts yelling at me claiming I am cheating. I asked him how am I cheating, but he didn't answer, and continued to shout that I was cheating. When I asked if he was playing (he was not), he said yes and that I should be disqualified. So I told him to go f himself when he wouldn't leave me alone. I then ignored him. But one of the waitresses came over and gave us a warning about swearing in the restaurant, and though I said he was being rude and obnoxious, she just said she gave him a warning too and that we had to get one too.
When I went over and apologized afterward, she claimed he was a nice guy who owns a salon (like that was supposed to make me believe he couldn't possibly be a jerK) and that when he drinks, he gets "opinionated". This actually really made me angry, since he was the one to start harassing me for something he wasn't even a part of, yet I'm treated like I'm the problem because I used swear words. All I got from the woman at the bar is that he's a nice guy so I shouldn't have reacted that way, and "sometimes our frustrations rise come out in other ways". I just said sure, and walked away, regretting my apology, since it was obvious, because he was a regular, that he was getting the benefit of the doubt. It sounds to me like he's an asshole to people when he drinks, but that's excused because he is a "nice guy and owns his own business". I wanted to tell her to go f herself too.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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zqWC7RXbpMKYv5ZvE9iOsaDJuiPEajTq
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9tbvrp
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{
"description": "asking to my roommates in which weekend will they go back to their homes (we are college students) so that I can choose the best day to invite people",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking to my roommates in which weekend will they go back to their homes (we are college students) so that I can choose the best day to invite people?
|
I am a bit uncertain if that’s a think that would sound quite rude, because I‘d basically ask when they get the hell out of the apartment but truth is that I want to feel more free to do what I want and invite how many people I want and not worry about going to sleep early or being loud
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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7Z3KtREnf1WZwA9XKc7dLLrD1AVLELEw
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ay3pyx
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{
"description": "accidentally laughing at a fat joke directed at my kid's teacher",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for accidentally laughing at a fat joke directed at my kid's teacher?
|
I have a 15 year old daughter "Emma". I recently got a call from her school from a teacher and the principal, wanting to discuss "an incident" and they wanted to meet the next day. When Emma came home, she told me her version of events.
She said that her biology teacher "Ms. Johnson" is kind of an asshole because she seems like the type of girl who was a loser in high school and now suddenly has some power, and tries to befriend the popular kids to make up for the fact that she was such a loser back then. Emma is a pretty good judge of character, but a good egg. She said Ms. Johnson has the popular girls hang around after classes for extra credit, talks to them using the current slang, acts very friendly towards them, and then cold and rude to the kids who aren't considered that popular, especially the international students who aren't perfect in English. Emma is actually very popular at school, but has stated to me before how she dislikes the way she treats the other students.
That day, Ms. Johnson was handing back tests, calling people up one by one. She called 3 popular students in a normal, nice way, then a Chinese student. Ms. Johnson said, "Hurry, hurry, hurry. Why are you all being so slow?" to this girl, who was coming from the back of the room. Then she called another Asian student, rolled her eyes, and this time said, "Geez... being slow AF again..." (not "as fuck" but literally spelled out the words A F.) "Hurry, hurry, runnnnn." At that point, my daughter, who sits in the front of the room said to her, "Why don't you try running back there?" At this point, Johnson got flustered and angry and said, "that's rude" and Emma asked, "Why? Why are you making people run if you don't do it yourself?"
At the time of her telling of the story, I didn't know what Johnson looked like. When I got to the school, I saw that this teacher was a big lady, so I immediately understood that she probably took it as a jab at her weight. The school is retelling me the same story, but this time, Johnson turns it to say "Emma said I needed to go running sometime. Hey, I don't get offended easily, I'm a big girl but-" and that's when I kind of snort-laughed completely by accident. I apologized and said that Emma shouldn't have interrupted or made unnecessary comments. Ms. Johnson seems completely displeased by this and rolled her eyes at me very obviously.
Later in the car, I asked Emma if she was intentionally making a fat joke and she said no, she was just annoyed with her attitude towards the 2 other girls and it had nothing to do with weight. She also said she never said "you should go running sometimes" and that was a complete lie.
Was I an asshole for laughing? I felt kind of bad, but her whole attitude towards me kind of revealed the big picture to me... this was not a fair and kind person. AITA anyway?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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anrdb6
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{
"description": "leaving my husband stranded at the gas station in an ice storm",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 41
}
|
AITA for leaving my husband stranded at the gas station in an ice storm ?
|
Firstly, some background information:
My husband [27m] and I [26f] have two kids- an eight week old and a five year old.
Since I am on maternity leave for a year(thank you, government of Canada !)I am the primary caregiver and homemaker in our household. Most of the time I take care of all the baby and child tending and all of the chores, and my husband takes care of whatever he can when he’s home. We’re both adults and we both contribute to this household in different ways, so the expectation is that if he’s not working he needs to be helpful. However I don’t think he’s ever been alone with both kids, and he’s definitely never been in charge of the baby for more than an hour while I grocery shopped, slept, or showered.
During the winter, my husband does snow removal. This means he can get called into work on an hours notice and be stuck working for up to 20 hours at a time. It also means he can go four or five days without working. The sporadic and long hours can be really hard on a persons mind and body, I’ve been sensitive to this recognizing how much it can really burn him out. When he needs rest, I leave him alone. Even though I generally get 4-5 hours of sleep a night myself. (Yeah, I might be a little bitter about that).
On Monday night he got called out to work at midnight (after being awake all day) and worked until around 7:30am Tuesday morning.After that he slept from from the time he got home until 8:30 this morning with a couple of hours here and there of being awake. So he slept for like 20 hours if you take out the random stretches of being awake. He didn’t do anything to help with the kids or the house in the time he was up. I let it go, I let him sleep.
So when he woke up this morning having been called into work, I asked for just a few minutes of help. The 5 year olds school is closed due to the weather and I’ll be stuck at home in a storm with two kids who need a lot of attention. I just asked him to switch the laundry into the dryer for me, but he said he was in a big rush and didn’t have time. Fine.
I made a pot of coffee for him to take to work with him so that he wasn’t spending extra money on takeout. On his way out the door I reminded him that I made him coffee and not to buy any, and he said a co worker who carpools with him was going to buy him a coffee so he didn’t need it. Suddenly he had time to stop for coffee, but not to quickly switch the laundry on his way out. And that left the coffee I made go to waste. This pissed me off too, but again I let it go. I didn’t want to have a fight first thing in the morning.
So here’s the part where I need judgement:
He called me about 10 minutes after he left the house because he was at a gas station and stuck there because he didn’t have the keys to re start his car. He has a button starter and left the keys in the wrong jacket when he started the car to warm it up; he drove away with out his keys. He just wanted me to bring him his keys a few blocks away.
And I lost it. Rescuing him would’ve meant I had to pack up both kids in the middle of an ice storm and drive out to him in dangerous road conditions. I said “figure it out”, hung up the phone and haven’t answered his calls or texts. He’s mad cause he now has to walk home to get his keys and is going to be late for work and thinks I’m not very nice for not helping him. He said if it were me he helped me, and I laughed. He doesn’t help me when I ask for little things, but seems so confident he’d help me here if the roles were reversed.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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hKEgWxU5MQrL8W4qxx6H3PfwuvKPOmfN
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auf4t6
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{
"description": "leaving my so alone at my house after an argument",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my SO alone at my house after an argument?
|
Okay, so this has been weighing on my conscience. I guess I’ll start with some background.
It is my senior year of college and I am getting ready to graduate in the spring. Although exciting, it is also very stressful and chaotic. I have also recently had some serious family issues that have affected my mental wellbeing. Anyways, about 2 months ago I matched with a girl on tinder. I had been following her on instagram for years, and we even met in high school (there was a mutual attraction then, but we never acted on it). Our relationship started out awesome. We connected really well, had great conversations and after about the third date had sex. We ended up going to events around the city, going to dinners and spending nights with each other.
A couple weeks ago, I told her that I wanted to start thinking about a relationship. She told me that since she had just gotten out of a relationship a few months prior, she wasn’t ready to put a label on ours. I agreed and told her that there was certainly no rush, I just liked spending time with her and talking to her, and she agreed. She did however make it **clear** to me that she wasn’t seeing anybody else, or talking to anybody else.
Last night I invited her to a party at my buddies house and she agreed. The plan was to drink, go to my friends, party, and crash at my place.
We went to the party and it was pretty fun. She seemed to enjoy herself, and I was having a good time too. At one point in the party, I decided that I wanted to go sit next to her and talk on the couch. She was snapchatting throughout the entire night and when I sat next to her I noticed that at the top of her best friends list was a 12 day snap streak with another guy. She saw me look and she immediately knew what I was thinking, and she began to look flustered. We went back to my house.
We went to my room, and I sat down next to her. I wasn’t angry, and I didn’t yell or call her any names. I asked why she lied to me, and what her relationship with this guy was. She told me that they had been talking before we met, and that I meant more to her, and even admitted that she screwed up. The more I heard her talk, the more uneasy I felt. After talking a little bit more, I told her that I couldn’t spend the night with her because I felt betrayed. Had she told me that she wanted an open relationship or to be fuck buddies before, I would have reacted differently. But that lie made me feel very suspicious and was a huge red flag for me. With the stress of school and family problems, I felt crushed. I couldn’t bare to stay with her. I told her that she could sleep in my room since she had been drinking (her car was at my place and I didn’t want her to drive). I said she could have anything to eat from the fridge if need be. I met up with my buddy who was at the party and took an uber to his house.
AITA for leaving her alone at my house? And am I being unreasonable caring about the other guy? Should I still try to talk to her?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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gsnJgAq3GrJRVQYixrNzFxKklmOCAdAT
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b0agzp
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{
"description": "not driving my girlfriend's dogs six hours home",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not driving my girlfriend's dogs six hours home?
|
So this weekend I will be meeting my girlfriend and her family at her grandparent's house. The grandparents are moving and I'm coming up to help move stuff out. My girlfriend and her family are going up later this week, and they're bringing their two dogs. This morning my girlfriend texted me saying that if her dad can't bring the dogs home then I'll have to because her mom doesn't want them in her new car (a Chevy Equinox). I've never had a dog in my life and am more of a cat person, she knows this. I told her that I wouldn't be comfortable driving six hours with two dogs in my car. Right now, she is mad at me because it "looks bad" to her parents. Am I the asshole for not wanting to drive the dogs?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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CzXhyyM7q8Bh106M8f6ogs8mZHhCrFbI
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b5aktq
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{
"description": "getting angry my girlfriend got a tattoo honouring her dead boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 101,
"contranormative_score": 127
}
|
AITA for getting angry my girlfriend got a tattoo honouring her dead boyfriend (she didn't tell me before hand)
|
My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 month. About 1 month ago her ex boyfriend died of a drug over dose. I never met the guy and I only know about him from what my girlfriend said about him. Basically they had been friends for years (since their freshman year in college) because they were in the same small program and dated for about 2 years before they broke u. They had been broken up for 2 months when we started dating.
​
Apparently he had issues with drugs for a long time but she thought he was clean when they started dating but then he started them again during their relationship. Initially she tried to be supportive and help him through the addiction and help him get sober but it was too much strain on the relationship and he started becoming emotionally abusive so they eventually broke up. She kind of a goody two shoes type girl who is super studious, who doesn't even party much and it kinda seems this guy was her "bad boy phase." Again I've never met the guy, this was just the impression I got from him.
​
Anyway he sadly died 1 month ago from an accidental overdose and my girlfriend was devastated. His parent invited her to the funeral which I thought was a bit odd but I was supportive of her going. It seems she blames herself partly for his death.
​
HoweverI am getting annoyed at some of the things she keeps doing she has posted 5 pictures of him on her instagram since his death. I get she was mourning but I don't think all mourning has to be pubic on social media and that was even more pictures that we have together on her social media. I think it unnecessary and disrespectful to me. I told her this bothers me and she kind of brushed it off and acted like I was over reacting but said she would stop.
​
Then yesterday i found out she got a tattoo of a guitar with his initials on it. The tattoo i about 4 inches long. Her ex was an avid guitar player. Obviously I was really mad. She didn't even consult me or check with me if it was okay and just got a permanent reminder of her ex on her body. This obviously wasn't a spur of the moment decision either.She only has one other tattoo which honours her late grandmother and her own parents hate tattoos and were mad she got that one. I confronted her and told her she obviously has no respect four relationship about it and she said it's her body and she didn't think she needed to consult me and I was acting like a controlling asshole and acting jealous of someone who was dead.
​
AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
3Ns9yhyjGqaAbMUCbfAViVQPK6j4pSUf
|
b4lwwr
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{
"description": "not letting my husband go out with coworkers for the next few weeks",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting my husband go out with coworkers for the next few weeks
|
My husband goes out for happy hour with his coworkers every Wednesday. He usually gets a little buzzed and usually I don't mind. However, I am now nearing my due date and have asked that he come straight home after work for the next 3 weeks just in case the baby comes early. Its also getting harder and harder for me to get things done on my own, so having him home in the evening when the older kids are also home would be really helpful to me.
My husband insists that since our first 2 came right on time, it's not a big deal for him to go out to happy hour to unwind. He wants to compromise by not drinking the week of my due date, but I know if the baby comes early and he's not 100% sober I will be so stressed going into labor. On top of that, I'm not asking him to never go again, just that he spend the next 3 weeks available and sober in case something happens. AITA for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
3Ij9Ne1HxPY20M3MFcvjaNYxaMOtjMYF
|
ae1sry
|
{
"description": "being upset for paying for my own lap dance",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being upset for paying for my own lap dance.
|
First time posting long time reader.
Okay so it's a bit long set up but I think some details will help with understanding where I'm coming from.
So last night I reached out to my friend of over 20 years and ask him how's he's doing ( we're both working and he just had a baby so we hardly ever talk). I have been trying to set up a day for us to catch up and so I can meet his son. He responds and ask what I was doing I reply "working" but I follow it up with a conversation asking about he and his son are doing. I get no response. This is odd behavior and think something must be up ( he's usually quick to reply). As soon as I get home I reach out to him to make sure he's okay and he replies pick me up. I call him and he's drunk and tells me to pick him up because he's been kicked out of his home and he need someone to TALK TO. So I drive to his place and he gets in the car with a tall beer can. After a small conversation about how's it's been so long he says we should head to insert name of bar. I tell him I'd rather not as I don't drink alcohol like ever and I'm keeping myself on a budget, what with bills to pay. He tells me not to worry, he says "don't worry about anything I got you, I'll pay for everything"
We have a little back and forth, I try telling him that I don't have any money to spare right now and that it's probably best if we head to my place and watch some movies and talk. He reasurres me me that he's "got me". We get to the address he gave me and it's a topless bar. I have never been to a strip club and honestly it wasn't what I'd hope to be doing on a Tuesday night, I again raise my concern about him spending money here and I again tell him I don't have money. He says I got you.
We get to the door and the bouncer verifies I.D and ask for the $20 cover fee, my friend gives him money and he looks to me to also collect, I look to my friend and he's occupied getting frisked, I don't like awkward situations so I pay the fee to get in. When we get inside we get close to the bar and insist I drink and not to worry about anything, I tell him and I don't drink and he orders himself two Coronas. While we're inside we try and and have a conversation or at least I am but he keeps on side tracking the conversation and keeps telling me that he's going to to get me a lap dance.
So we're there for 20 mins and the performers are working so they come up to us and keep trying to get us to buy a lap dance. I keep saying I'm okay. This one beautiful chick walks up to us and starts dancing on us and she says that it looks like I need some company I politely say I'm okay but my friend starts having this conversation with here so I start scrolling through Reddit and next thing I know this chick grabs my hand and she's leading me a to a booth, he's smiling and giving me the thumbs up. So I go and she does here thing. Were three songs into this and I realized that I don't think he's paid for this so I say I'm good and she tells me it's 60 bucks. Again I don't want to make a scene so I got to the ATM and pay here.
When I get back to my friend hes smiling. I ask him if he had already paid the chick and he says naw you got this. I'm livid but I don't say anything. He kept trying to get girls to dance with me but I kept insisting we leave because it was late. We didn't leave until 2 am and he only left begrudgingly and on the car ride home he kept saying we should have stayed longer. I dropped him off at home safe and sound I won't ask for the money because it's pointless. So my question is am I the asshole for getting upset for paying for the lap dances even though he said he was going to cover everything.
TLDR drunk friend ask me to take him to a bar that turned out to be a strip club and even though he said he would cover all the expenses he didn't.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
NXMPb2riIH9PWyffimgX2dYk9OI5i9Xu
|
a3cief
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends?
|
A few weeks ago, my ex (23m) and I (22m) started to talk again, and since we’ve done very “daty” things like flirt, I went to his family’s thanksgiving, we FaceTime daily for up to 2-3 hours, etc.
We made plans to go to a concert together for New Years and then share a bed. Last night, he confided in me how he’s had feelings for a guy who broke things off with him because me ex didn’t want a relationship.
To say the news stung would be an understatement. My friends are all saying that he’s an asshole for leading me on, but let me say I don’t believe that. I’m not mad at him or fault him for it. I’ve probably done the same thing; if anything, it’s just a miscommunication of desires between us.
BUT, I told him that I didn’t think it’d be good for us to be friends (or go to the concert together) because I didn’t think I had it in me to not have feelings for him. I’m in my last year of college and the last thing I need is to put myself in a position to be hurt.
He turned it around on me saying things like “this is why I can’t have guy friends. Someone gets feelings.” And “why can’t you be friends with me without expecting more?”
AITA for not wanting to be friends?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
6vNVlcRV7nvpCTkXmRVrnnZKvFceIEh2
|
anjvd3
|
{
"description": "not wanting to have dinner with my GF's ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not wanting to have dinner with my GF's ex?
|
Something like 9 years ago she spent under a year being partners with this guy while they were in my country's armed forces.
I told her in the past I'm comfortable with meeting publicly with exes so long as I am present and things are respectable, etc.
Recently her first sexual partner mentioned in passing travelling on business nearby and suggested the three of us have dinner. When she brought this up to me I said let's speak about it in person.
Thinking about the issue, I'm completely not okay with it and told her as much. I should have stood my ground but this morning I spoke to her and stated to tentatively agree to go as it's her friend etc etc. The individual is married with children for what that's worth.
Am I the asshole for not being okay with this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
gBBDf6uWBYW3yALHscbdK23lSCCEgVMt
|
ahj39p
|
{
"description": "checking up on a drunk girl, making sure she didn't go home w a stranger",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA: Checking up on a drunk girl, making sure she didn’t go home w a stranger
|
Was out clubbing the other night when I noticed a pretty drunk girl being held up by a guy and walking out of the club. My instincts kick in and I just feel unnerved (I have distrust in men, and really hate fathoming the idea of sexual assault on anyone) I go to follow her out, (my friend comes along to back me up). As I begin to ask the girl if she knows this guy, the bouncers get all pissed off.... telling me “it’s their job to make sure everything is okay.”
Am I the asshole, for checking up on this girl?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
K5r9jRFQ7ZZ0yTug4JBvFb5n8OhU8q0Z
|
albshl
|
{
"description": "breaking company rules when I got fired from McDonald's because I repeated my brothers order as '1 McCum sandwich' and my boss heard",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for breaking company rules when I got fired from McDonald’s because I repeated my brothers order as ‘1 McCum sandwich’ and my boss heard?
|
Long story short: my brother wanted to come see me at my job and so he came to me when I was working register and he ordered a Mcchicken sandwich with extra mayo . I was repeating that meme from a few years ago where there was way too much mayo and the guy calls it a McCum sandwich. My boss heard and grabbed me by the shoulder and pulls me into his office. He told me on the spot to leave the establishment. I didn’t even bother explaining my self because he wouldn’t care
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
q9fgByhe6j2zvtLRCs3RbeSWfGDd54G7
|
9vw3m9
|
{
"description": "not completely stopping for pedestrians",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not completely stopping for pedestrians?
|
I was on my way home last night and driving on a regular street through a town center. There was medium traffic so cars were going less than the speed limit. In the distance I see people start crossing the street on a crosswalk so I slow down a little bit and when they're almost completely crossed I start returning to my previous speed. The last person that crossed the street however didn't seem to like what I did so she stepped back into the street, faced me, and flipped me off as I drove by.
[Here's the crosswalk.](https://imgur.com/a/WjUw7er) There were cars parked on both sides when I was there. I'm not sure if this makes a difference but there's no crosswalk signs or plastic poles in the street like most other pedestrian crossings have in my area.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
eKjUL77cuAXkMOEGzcLhYcmuSRe2rI75
|
avnld1
|
{
"description": "wanting my wife to be wild with me, and to not just see me as a safe space",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting my wife to be wild with me, and to not just see me as a safe space?
|
My wife and I are in an open relationship, and for the most part it's great. She feels safer and able to be more open with me, and that's not something she's had in the past.
The thing is, while she's an open and adventurous person she isn't really willing to be open and adventurous with me. We talked for a while about "christening" our car, but when we actually had an opportunity to she was always afraid of getting caught. The closest we ever got was off to the side of a lonely road at 4am, but even then she didn't want to go all the way. Flash forward a couple months, I find out that she fucked a friend of hers on the way back from the airport in the middle of the day along side a MUCH busier road. We'll go to parties, everyone will get drunk or high and she'll get really grabby with whomever she wants that night but just kinda leaves me to my own devices. She'll try to hide some of her wild nature from me, and I'll find out later that while she won't even have regular sex in the same room as the window of our 3rd floor apartment, she got completely naked and fucked a FWB next to the open window of his 1st floor apartment. She's had sex just out in the open living room at a party, but barely wants anything to do with me there because of PTA. Whenever I try to talk to her about it, she just gets really sad, says that she wishes I was okay with being her safe space because she's never had one before and then she'll start saying things like "It's okay, I can be a sex object for you. What would you like to do?" or "I thought I was more to you than that."
AITA for wanting her to be as wild with me as she is with others?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FEh7f07qZGfEzdS44TC0EweD0PTqzNde
|
aqbl3a
|
{
"description": "getting everyone in my machine shop sick as payback to the boss",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for getting everyone in my machine shop sick as payback to the boss?
|
I currently work in a small machine shop with 2 designers, a programmer and a CNC operator. Last week I was very ill with flu like symptoms. For the last couple years I have been bitching about the company not giving us sick days to use and their excuse was that we get 1 personal day a year to use when sick. We get 2-4 weeks of vacation a year depending on how long you have been employed but those have to be approved at least a week in advance. So, I took a day off and used my personal day and came in the next couple days still extremely sick. I ended up getting everyone really sick to where they all took off for a couple days at a time and the boss had to close the shop down, missed deadlines and probably lost some clients as well. I was kind of hoping this would happen to to get back at the boss for not giving us sick days to prevent anyone else getting sick so it was no accident. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
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