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ul8MjwB6UGTyAOI1FAahkw4pIq6YOr58
|
apy31x
|
{
"description": "getting extremely annoyed with people for using the internet",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting extremely annoyed with people for using the Internet?
|
Vague title because I didn’t know how to put it all in there without it being superrrrrr long.
So I work in a resource center of a very large hospital in the downtown area of a larger city. This resource center is for patients and family members to come and use our computers for research, find hard copies of educational information about conditions, just pass the time, whatever they want to do because being stuck in a hospital can be terribly boring and unsettling.
Let me just say that I like working here. I enjoy feeling like I’m helping people every day who are in a very stressful environment by answering their questions, giving them directions, etc. What I don’t like is this: there are people who come into this research center literally every day who I am 100% certain are not patients or family members of patients. They just heard that we have free internet and it’s free to print here and thought “hey that’s convenient.” I mean there are a few people that I would bet anything on them coming in every single day and camping out for hours. Unfortunately, there is no way to “restrict” entry to just patients and family. It’s just not set up that way. Even though it literally says on the wall “patients and family.”
Because of this, sometimes our research center is full and ACTUAL patients and families can’t use the computers when they need to. This absolutely infuriates me. Also, these “regulars” tend to treat this place like their own living room. Leaving trash behind, printing off sometimes (no exaggeration) hundreds of pieces of paper (this is currently happening as I’m typing this post), and just talking loudly on their cell phones.
I always treat these people how I would treat the actual patrons of the hospital, but inside I’m fuming. I also realize that these people might not have any other way to access the internet and that maybe I should be more understanding of whatever their circumstances might be.
So, AITA for thinking that these people are assholes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Qn8QtxWB9GRKr3c6CzriFcE2LYijBBVo
|
aw64lm
|
{
"description": "thinking have adhd",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking have ADHD?
|
I'm not self diagnosing myself, but from the research I've done that seems to be it. And not like just looking at WebMD symptoms, I really looked into it. When I tried bringing up to a therapist he seemed annoyed.
I know self diagnosing is looked down upon in the ND community, but I don't feel like that's what I'm doing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VeQAZjfikqL5q8mQxaCB25bxN2FVc4kU
|
a0glqc
|
{
"description": "asking my boyfriend to wash up before a bj",
"pronormative_score": 148,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend to wash up before a bj?
|
He asked for a blowjob, I said yes but could you clean it first?
He got beyond pissed and now it’s off the table. He basically thinks I said he has a dirty penis.
I explained it was only because we’ve been out today and everyone sweats so I just wanted it rinsed off or something. I told him I would’ve done the same if receiving oral. Am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 147,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 148,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
j3hB55Q8TlilKhjJbwKWvn4ABsILSUUT
|
asghyg
|
{
"description": "rejecting a girl that I told her that I liked her the past",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for rejecting a girl that I told her that I liked her the past.
|
Okay so I'm 15 a freshmen in highschool. Their was this girl from the 8th grade I really liked her and I asked her out in the 8th grade. She rejected me. I got over her well 2 days ago on my 15th birthday she asked me out I told her I'm not interested. I thought at first she took it well Intel I heard that she told everyone that I was stringing her around just to break her heart. And I'm like what the fuck, what did I do! AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xns0oMs91pYJisDsWMMiJE3xBrMELRKb
|
b93l36
|
{
"description": "standing in a parking spot of a busy parking lot so I could save it for my friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
WIBTA if I stood in a parking spot of a busy parking lot so I could save it for my friends?
|
Ok, I'm not the one doing this, but I did see a girl pull this stunt recently. It was a very busy lot and I (on foot) was walking through a parking lot when I saw an argument. A girl was physically standing in an open spot while a car was trying to pull in. The car was yelling at the girl that since she didn't have car that she isn't allowed to save it for her friend's car who were on their way to park. So basically, if you were meeting some people, saw parking was rough, you would decide to stand in an open spot to save it until your friends arrived. Note; she was standing there before the car tried to pull into that spot.
Is that girl an asshole for pulling this move or is this acceptable in regards to parking ethics? Would you pull this move?
I've had a debate with my family about this and was wondering what the asshole reddit community would think.
PS. Apologies if this is a slightly different type of post than we are used to and I'll remove if it violates the rules.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
sBUShFIiBjTuUHrC2WKlrjMVwZCwaRG1
|
asyd6q
| null |
AITA for laughing....
|
I work for a major car manufacturing company. We have numerous supplier companies and their employees working in our plant. Well a couple days ago one of the suppliers employees was wearing sweat pants that were to big for him. So at the start of the day as I look to my left to put my part on the frame I see a huge black butt. Not just the crack, his whole butt was hanging out. I instinctively yell out "What the fu**" drawing more attention to the man. Following that I also couldn't stop laughing uncontrollably for the remainder of the day. Our shifts start at 5:30 am and end at 4 pm. The next day we return to find out he quit, and now I feel terrible.... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
KoUo0ENqWmHf3HljqZsPLImuvpy1Vb4a
|
aoy9t4
|
{
"description": "wishing that my bf didn't drink? I have previous familial trauma, severe anxiety and mild PTSD concerning alcohol. but I don't want to be controlling",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I wish that my bf didn’t drink? I have previous familial trauma, severe anxiety and mild PTSD concerning alcohol. But I don’t want to be controlling(?)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
|
Ug9hUgARWqDIZCTJITlioMhlTmZNlrkk
|
au1sya
|
{
"description": "ending things with my toxic best friend after he was there for me during a hard time in my life and encouraging me to get help",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I ended things with my toxic best friend after he was there for me during a hard time in my life and encouraged me to get help?
|
Hi! This is my first time posting and I’m on mobile so I apologize in advance for formatting issues. Also, throwaway account, my friend is an active Redditor. Also, very long story ahead, so bear with me!
Last year I (F25) met my friend PJ (M31) while we were both studying for our MBA. We became good friends and ended up moving to the same city post graduation. We saw each other like 2 or 3 times a week and became very close friends. During this time I was also having severe mental health issues and often leaned on him for support. He was good about being there for me and often encouraged me to go back on SSRIs. So, with his support, i did go back on meds. Within a few weeks they started working and I started feeling happier and healthier.
However, as the meds got me back into a good mindset I noticed some toxic relationships in my life. I also started noticing my own toxic behaviors and changed myself a lot. This affected my relationship with PJ because I started noticing things about him that made me really uncomfortable. In his defense he always did these behaviors, but suddenly I was like... aware and negatively affected by them. I’ll go into more detail on his behaviors in the comments because of the character limit, but basically I’m recognizing how controlling, angry, mean, and inappropriate he tends to be.
I recently moved further away and don’t make the effort to see him a lot anymore, which in turn makes me feel like a really shitty friend and person. A week ago I had him over to see the new place and he ended up making some sexual and rude comments that really upset my roommate and me. He also refused to let anyone else pick the movie besides him and when he was ready to leave he told me I could drive him home even though I told him several times before he came over that he would have to Uber. When I refused he was verbally angry.
I realize I don’t enjoy spending time with him anymore. Obviously this breaks my heart because he is my best friend and I still deeply care about him and deep down I think he is a good person. Without him I don’t think I would have gotten the help I need. But his behavior annoys, hurts, and offends me. He is going through A LOT of personal stuff right now I want to be there for, but he doesn’t seem interested in getting help. He says that this is who he is, that he’s used to not having friends or anyone who cares about him, and that most people leave him and it doesn’t bother him. I think it does bother him but he’ll never admit it, nor will he admit he cares about our friendship, which also hurts.
So, Reddit, WIBTA for telling him how I feel and ending the friendship if he refuses to change? I feel guilty because I think I unknowingly tolerated these behaviors for a long time because I myself was unwell, but I don’t want to keep tolerating the uncomfortable and inappropriate situations he creates.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QFeXh2lq93RUIuY5muzJ96SRynqPLbmJ
|
akmwmt
|
{
"description": "yelling at my sister for making fun of my girlfriend at a party",
"pronormative_score": 48,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA For yelling at my sister for making fun of my girlfriend at a party?
|
This saga has been going on for a week but it feels more like a dbz filler arc, except worse because at least at the end of that i can expect a reward.
This is kinda long so tl;dr is i have a shy gf and my bitch sister made fun of her, so i called my bitch sister a bitch.
My sister is dating my best friend. Thats pretty terrible as it is, but it gets worse. My sister is a horrible person. I mean like the sociopath getting off on others suffering horrible. During a fight with my best friend she literally told my best friend she hopes his family dies. Yeah.
So my best friend had a birthday party last saturday. I decide to invite my girlfriend who ive been dating for half a year but doesnt have much exposure to my family.
The reason she doesnt is because shes 'quirky'. I dont wanna say weird because that has some negative connotations. She had bad acne in her freshman year, plus braces and glasses. She was bullied alot and didnt have many friends.
Now shes a fox imo. No acne, great body, still wears glasses but i think theyre cute. Shes a very talented artist which is how we met. I was trying to find a graphic designer to build a logo for my company. I didnt use her but we hit it off.
Now, the quirky stuff. She had little to no friends so no social interaction so she sometimes does things, like if we're laying down together or im near her she will sort of nibble on my shoulder (no shes not a cat i swear she doesnt even think about it when she does it).
She also has a nervous laugh that sounds a little like goofy but squeaky. She fiddles with her hands (twiddling thumbs), doesnt look people in the eye when talking, and speaks very fast before laughing. She also sometimes sucks on her hair a bit when shes bored or in her own world.
I dont want to paint her in a bad light, shes also very smart, kind, and thoughtful. She could really be a scientist i think if she really applied herself but college scares her. Shes very shy.
Because of this shyness she is very uncomfortable around new people. Our dates are always in either dark or less crowded places like movie theaters and parks. We also hang out at our apartments alot.
In case you couldnt tell i am very much into this girl and could see a real future with her. Shes very important to me so ive tried to involve her with my family. Shes met my parents 3 times, my best friend more times than i can count, my sister zero because i hate her.
Because she gets along with my best friend she decides to come to his birthday. She even drew him this picture of Vladislov from "What We Do in the Shadows" because we all watched it together.
My sister is there because shes dating my best friend. As me and my gf are in line to get a slice of cake my sister is right in front of my gf and starts her bullshit.
"Um...could you back up a bit please?"
To my gf. My gf was no where near her, just next in line. My gf apologizes but now shes on tilt and starts the nervous laugh.
We all play quiplash, my gf was coming up with a very long answer and was the last one to select an answer so we were all waiting on her.
"Oh my god whose taking so long?"
My gf freezes, spams some keys on her phone and enters. The final part of her answer is gobbldy gook. She says she forgot what she was trying to say.
"Well that was worth the wait, haha"
My sister again. My gf is quiet the rest of the night. Shes sort of cuddled up next to me and starts nibbling on my shoulder without realizing.
My sister sees this.
"Oh my god." In sort of a loud whisper like tone before gesturing to my best friend to look at us. My best friend pays no mind but she does this stupid fucking laugh with no sound thing. And she actually POINTS.
I had enough and i asked her if shes drunk. Shes not but i just wanted to get her to be quiet. Shes says that shes not the one acting drunk.
I say youre embarassing yourself like one. At this point the mood has effectively turned. She tells me to shut up as she wasnt even talking to me, i say the problem is i can hear you.
We start yelling and screaming. I end up calling her a stupid fucking bitch and i leave. My gf was out the door way before me, she cried on the way back which made me feel like shit. I wanted her to have a good time and impress people with her art.
Now she doesnt want to see my best friend because shes embarrassed. My best friend says that both me and my sister were assholes and i apologized but part of me thinks i had no choice but to defend someone i care about. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 48,
"EVERYBODY": 16,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 48,
"WRONG": 21
}
|
RIGHT
|
6JFj5RdsqZeIvItl7e1LM1tTiXMDeX4H
|
ai5gel
|
{
"description": "expecting some kind of thank you",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for expecting some kind of thank you?
|
My partners parents have quite a bit of land and a few animals (sheep, pig, dogs), about an hour drive from the city where I live and work. They made travel plans to go to Europe for a month to visit on of their daughters. Initially my partner was going to house sit, but he just recently found out he had epilepsy after having a full-blown seizure. He didn't get his license taken away, but I didn't feel comfortable with him driving an hour back and forth every morning and evening - just in case. So, I offered to look after the animals and the house for a month.
Once the parents got back from their holiday, we all caught up for dinner. At the table his parents pulled out all these gifts from their travels and handed them around to partner and his sister. Now I'm not greedy or I don't expect things, but i thought - even a fridge magnet or a funny card? I suppose I just grew up in an environment where my parents would of course bring something back for someone who has done them a favor.
I didn't get angry or annoyed or anything, I just felt a little bit hurt. I suppose it was just an appreciation thing. Am I being selfish? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZUNPwPLJAoMWSyNX5SJ4UH5Eob5jFsw2
|
at5a3u
|
{
"description": "honking at these people",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for honking at these people?
|
Dashcam video: [https://gfycat.com/WeightyMeaslyGannet](https://gfycat.com/WeightyMeaslyGannet)
​
They start crossing at the end of their green light, but the walk sign is red before they start. My light changes to green and I tap, and then honk when they don't get a move on.
​
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
M8nVSNyp6ARu6GtXC5h1Oct8ZiSsNQgo
|
akjngb
|
{
"description": "not buying some skis because they were too \"girly\"",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not buying some skis because they were too "girly"
|
Posting on behalf of my brother who just had a AITA moment.
So my brother (31M) just came back from buying some ski's for an upcoming trip at a local secondhand sports shop. He knew one of the staff members that worked there through a mutual friend but a different staff member helped him try and find some ski boots. She gave him lots of good advice and was super patient with him. They choose a pair and went to look for skis even though the shop was closing in about ten minutes, although he wasn't aware of this at the time. The staff member who was helping him worked out he needed a certain size of ski which they didn't currently have in the men's section. Instead she found a pair in the women's section which would be her best recommendation in terms of size. The skis in question were coloured gray fading into indigo with cursive writing and plastic sparkly bits on the side. He checked them out but told the staff member, who was female, he didn't like them because they were too girly. The staff member who he knew, who was stood nearby challenged him a bit on it, not in an aggressive way, but saying "Oh come on. Does anybody really care about the whole gender thing?" and told him a story about a boy who came in the day before and bought bright pink skis and how great it was. My brother just said he wasn't making any point about women and he should like the design of the skis he bought. He asked to see if there were any other options but the staff member who had been helping him became slightly abrupt, her body language become more closed off, standing with her arms folded. She got one other pair out but didn't really give any information about them. She'd been super helpful and informative before and it seemed like there was a sudden shift after the comment. When my brother asked her some more questions about the skis she held up her hands and said "I can only advise you. You need to make a choice. These are your options. We are closing in one minute".
He felt uncomfortable and didn't want to spend $200 on skis so he only purchased the boots and left.
He was bothered about the experience afterwards and explained he found the design overall was targeted towards women in a way that was slightly patronising and gendered in his opinion. For him 'girly' was the appropriate word as that was the style the skis had been marketed as. For him, he'd rather buy his first skis with a design he identifies with more but felt he was treated a little bit like he was an asshole for not liking the boots and pressured to buying a pair he didn't want. So was the shop assistant an asshole for the way she seemed to react to my brothers comment or was my brother the asshole for not following her recommendations because he didn't like the style and using the term "girly"?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8rL5haYmDyQfIUC0aQWNZFkMuJSfeMG1
|
aqstn4
|
{
"description": "making a calling a girl fat and making her cry",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITAH for making a calling a girl fat and making her cry?
|
For starters this happened when I was around 10 or so which was 13 years ago. I think of this event often and while I do fell bad I also feel like it was justified.
​
So one day during late elementary or early middle school I was going home with my best friend for the weekend. During this time I would get migraines everyday a few hours before school was over which caused great pain which made me irritable and asocial. On the bus was two of my friends neighbors which I'll call Amber and Beth. Amber and Beth were both picking on me and just being a bother while I just wanted to be left alone until my pain finally subsided. After 5 minutes of asking them to leave me alone I decided to just play some soft music on my mp3 and eat a pudding cup I saved from lunch. Amber seemed to finally get the message that I wasn't in the mood to deal with them but Beth would not have it. After failing to get my attention we pulled up to our stop. As I am grabbing my bag Beth jumps up and grabs my pudding and smashes it into my shirt (which happens to be one of my favorites) and this sets me off. I chase her off the bus into the yard and start yelling at her about how she is a fat b and that she is so annoying. She then runs home crying while Amber berates me for being so mean.
​
I think everything is over so I go inside to get something for my migraine which is now much worse. Only a few minutes later the phone rings and my friend says it's for me. Beth's mother calls me from her work to tell me how horrible I am for making her innocent child cry for doing nothing wrong and demands I go and apologize which I refuse. I explain what happened and she still believes I was in the wrong for my behavior. I told her I'm not going to argue and hand up. A minute later my friends mom calls asking for me. Apparently Beth's mother called my friends mother to yell at me too. After dealing with her my mother calls saying she was getting calls from some lady yelling about how I was bulling her daughter. I explain to my mom what happened and my friend agreed with me. She simply asked I try to be more level headed next time I deal with her and I agreed.
​
After this I never really spoke to Amber or Beth again but I still think about it and how I could have handled it differently. AITAH?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
OJGJRkoLayCEuebcaAvUAGvsC2DtaEBU
|
b4g6bs
| null |
AITA ror not wanting to go to my boyfriend's house every time I have a day off?
|
My (19F) boyfriend (20M) and I have been dating a little over a year, and we are very happy together. We both live with our respective parents on opposite sides of town, and neither of us drive so we rely on public transit/Uber.
Our days off don't always match up (I have a schedule that changes weekly) so we want to see each other as often as we can. I have seven younger siblings that also live at my house with my parents, so I usually go to his house where his older siblings have all moved out.
Thing is, it's an hour and a half bus ride one way or a $25 Uber ride. So while I want to hang out with him, I don't always enjoy the journey there and back. It's long, stressful for me, and can get expensive. So today we both had the day off and he asked when I was coming over, and I asked if he could come over today. I know my house can be chaotic and loud due to all the children, but I have my own space we can be in and not be bothered. But every time I bring up him coming to my house he says that his back is bothering him and he's really tired and doesn't feel like taking the bus.
I'm not trying to demean the fact that he's tired and his back hurts. But I'm also tired and I have feet and wrist pain from my job, but he still expects me to take the hour and a half trip to his house. So it will either end up that I cave in and go to his house or we don't see each other that week. The latter happened today and all day he's been texting me about how much he misses me and wished that I could've gone over, when he could've come over here.
So AITA for not going to my boyfriend's house?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rqOqUXavdHFapzH3JGzcp6YWqqxS1TM3
|
aux7em
|
{
"description": "telling my pregnant wife that her vagina stinks and she needs to clean up",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for telling my pregnant wife that her vagina stinks and she needs to clean up?
|
So, my wife is heavily pregnant with our daughter. I'm not really into having sex when she's pregnant because I'm afraid something might happen to her and the child.
She told me that she wanted to have sex badly. I was also in the mood for it and I agreed. So we got into a position she was comfortable with and we try do do it. Then she wanted me to go down on her. That's when it hit me. Her vagina stinked. It had a weird smell and it was repulsive. Maybe because of some hormones during pregnancy idk.
I just couldn't. She understood that something was up and asked me. I told her that her vagina stinked and she needed to clean up before we can do anything. She started crying and accused me of cheating (?) and told me that I didn't love her anymore.
I actually love her so much. I want to have sex too but I couldn't. Did I overstep. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
aJAdXPH6lYRKA9qdV65VePl6HYn07FWk
|
a8nfqt
|
{
"description": "ghosting my ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting my ex boyfriend?
|
So me(20f) and my ex(20m) dated for two years. He was the fist and only guy that i had ever been with (even kissing). I broke it off (because i was unhappy with the relationship) in june 2018 but since im stupid I slept with him a couple of times until august. Then i decided that i couldn't put up with it so I just answered his texts as friends (i'll explain why)
So this guy is really crazy. Im serious. My mother once called the police because he was doing a scene in front of our house. During fights he would kick doors, one time even ripped his shirt and tried to jump out of the window of the second floor when I tried to end the relationship.
When i was living in a house with 3 housemates in college he would drive 30min (from my home town to the city i was living) and ring the bell at 3am because I didnt answer the phone. He was about to join the army in october and i wanted to be suportive so i kept answering his messages because i didnt want him to feel bad and give up on his dream. He told me it would be my fault if he didnt got in because he wasnt good psychologically because of the eay I treated him (as a friend). He didnt got in. Things got even worse. He would text me 20 30 40 times a day, every day. Accusing me of being with other people, begging for attention, just being fucking annoying. Every time I saw a text i just wanted to smash my phone on the ground. I told him to stop or i would block him. 3 weeks ago i had exames and assignements in college and i couldnt deal with him anymore so I stopped responding and then changed numbers without warning. Blocked him in everything. He has since created 6 facebook accounts and sent me around 50 messages in each. I'm tired of his shit so i didnt reply. I havent see him in 3 months and we dont talk in 4 weeks.
I dont agree with ghosting but i didnt know what else to do. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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GpThgDVmjn7K0QngzuFEuwmAYeBf8feK
|
9yrokt
|
{
"description": "not telling my friend that his gf is not the girl he thinks she is, and not feeling bad about it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Not telling my friend(m20) that his gf(f20) is not the girl he thinks she is, and not feeling bad about it?
|
So my friend had to go away for a little while due to some reasons I'm not gonna disclose (nothing bad). He told me, while he was gone, to hang out with his gf and to make sure she didn't get super depressed. We became fast friends. Before you ask, this is a totally platonic thing, I have no intention of being anything other than friends with this girl. She's nice and it's good to have some company, since I don't have many other friends.
So what's the problem?
The problem is that this girl is really into partying, drugs, and alcohol. Now, that on its own isn't much of a problem. Live life however the fuck you want, I ain't gonna judge, as long as you're a decent human, which she is, I don't give a flying fuck. Besides, at our age, everyone is like that. The problem is that my friend has no idea about this. In fact, he thinks that she is the exact opposite. That's one of the main reasons he went out with her. He liked how she didn't drink or do drugs and didn't hang out with the "wrong" crowd. His gf has always protested against his obtuseness when it comes to these sort of things, but has always remained "in-line" while around him. But while away, I've seen this girl straight up chug a bottle of fireball whiskey, smoke pot, and juul. Not the craziest shit in the world but a far cry of what he thinks she is. She's told me numerous times to keep this a secret from him. And I do, and don't feel bad that I do. I know if I put myself in his shoes I would feel awful knowing I was dating a dating a girl under false pretenses. But, I just can't bring myself to tell him. Ignoring the fact that his gf would be fucking pissed at me, It would also have untold damages on their relationship. When they are together, in person, they are on of the best, happiest, and cutest couples I have ever seen. But on the other hand, I'm also really good friends with her bf, so it seems like there would be some obligation there to tell him. But that feeling isn't enough for me to go through with it. Besides, I feel like an issue like this is between them, and should be brought up on their own terms.
So that's why I'm here now. I wanna know, in this situation, am I the asshole. One one hand I feel like there is an obligation to be honest. But on the other, it really isn't within my jurisdiction to decide what happens in their relationship.
TL;DR: I'm good friends with a guy and his gf. His gf is really into partying and shit. Guy doesn't know, and explicitly hates partying and shit. I don't feel bad for not telling him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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wzUEGZzJAh3X06bQJMwOrIAHpYHzxQTb
|
axnslg
|
{
"description": "blaming society for my nonacceptance",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for blaming society for my nonacceptance
|
I'm an 18 yo creative freelance developer. I've been freelancing since I was 14, self taught CSS/front end dev, Graphic Designer, and i'm cert. in Google Adwords. I have worked with many small business and larger orgs so I have a pretty dope portfolio...better than most adults tbh. In fact my portfolio is so good I received a job straight out of high school as a digital marketing analyst at a digital agency. I also have participated in many volunteer events. You'd think i'd be able to go to freaking Yale. BUT NO the problem is my average GPA as well as SAT scores. I graduated with a 2.9/1080sat. I was completely disillusioned when I received those rejection letters from even the 'lower level' public U's. It actually pissed me off and I became extremely resentful of friends who I thought didn't deserve their acceptance letters into great top 20 schools. I had been making around $1500/m from the age of 14 and that meant nothing, kids who didn't even know what they wanted to do were getting into better colleges than I applied to just because they studied more but in the 'real world' I was the one who had accreditation. Now i'm at community college and my grades are about the same as high school I average a B-. I'm worried that the same thing will happen when attempting to transfer to a full time U. I'm actually trying a lot more than I did in high school but it's frustrating and i give up sometimes 1) because i am doing basics and i'm extremely uninterested in semi permeable membranes & 2) i'm putting off projects with clients and can't focus on the things i'm interested in. I'd love to open a marketing agency but can't because of school and I can't drop out because of my parents. My real world experience and portfolio should be able to speak for itself instead of a gpa that means not a damn thing in most cases. It's unfair and genuinely pisses me off. Probably sound like a spoiled brat but idgaf the things I've done outweigh my average to below average grades.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
FgV9pgfjyIzNVCMa4qkBmLRUeUMQv405
|
azjrip
|
{
"description": "refusing to put my seat upright during my overnight flight",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for refusing to put my seat upright during my overnight flight?
|
On a recent flight a woman asked me to put my seat upright because her husband (who was directly behind me) was tall. His seat was in the last row and therefore did not recline.
I explained that I had chosen my seat ahead of time to ensure that it reclined so that I could rest. She continued to argue with me that I should put my seat upright "out of respect."
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
0FyMiVBzPkGdHMtcTIucrJOrElrDRWiN
|
axsw2d
|
{
"description": "not driving my neighbor to court. which might result in her being evicted",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not driving my neighbor to court. Which might result in her being evicted?
|
So let me start out by saying my neighbor is in continuous hardship. Me and my bf have given her food and pet food numerous times. Jumped her truck 6 times in one week. Twice we had to jump it every few blocks to get her home. We occasionally paid her to do yard. We had stopped because she asked us for an advance and then didn't do the work. A month later she gave back the money after being asked for it a few times. Dispite that she usually knocks on my door multiple times a week asking for favors and if I can I help.
Well two days ago she comes over she's talking about how she's broke and doesn't have any food for her or animals. I tell her if she wants she rake the leaves and pick up poop and we will pay her $40. We have fake grass now so we don't need much done. She says ok that she will be over the next day. She then asked if we could give her the money ahead of time. I didn't have any cash and told her so. She then asked my bf if he had cash...I am not sure why but this really rubbed me the wrong way. He said no.
I told her I'd give her some food. I packed her some frozen meats, rice, beans, six eggs, canned fruit, granola bars, velveeta mac and cheese, a beer, a big container of spaghetti, dog food, and maybe a couple other things. Which was a lot for us. We are by NO means well off. We struggle and have to stick to a strict budget to ensure we don't run up too much debt. Since we had just filled the pantry thanks to tax season I was feeling generous. Plus in my mind if someone is asking for food they must really need it.
But the next day when she didn't come over to do the yard work I began to ponder if she was so broke why not do a half hours work and make a couple bucks. So I knocked on her door and heard her dogs in the house, which usually means she's home, but she didn't answer.
Fast forward to today and she knocked on my door a little before 4pm asking me to take her to court which closes at 5pm. Apparently it was the last day to file something that has to do with her landlord who is trying to evict her. I told her to give me five minuets. I was in my pjs cleaning. I go to get dressed and I thought to myself why am I dropping everything and rearranging my day for her. So when she came back five minutes later I told her I was supposed to have an phone interview at 4, but it was postponed until 4:30 so she should look somewhere else for a ride. Which was a lie.
I kinda feel like an asshole but part of me feels like she is taking advantage of my kindness. She probably knew about this deadline for weeks if not months. If she had asked me a few days earlier I could have scheduled it in. Lately she just seems manipulative.
So Reddit what do you think? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
PXUpdmXbLfN2cRvRKptlaNFUL9lf6YsE
|
9zg4ch
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend over her ex",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over her ex?
|
The ex and I had been together for 9 months and she recently brought up that the last guy she'd been with was one of the friends she'd first introduced me to from her friend group. She'd been going round his place most nights and take free drugs from him and he'd coerce her into sleeping with him, which went on for at least a couple weeks about a month or two before we met.
She told me about this when we first started getting together and I said it wasn't a problem, and it really wasn't. But I forgot about it and now that it's come up again, this time it isn't getting out of my head.
She's cleaned up now, but I can't get it out of my head how she'd let him do that to her. (I think he's a really horrible guy, he thinks he's some sort of ozzy osbourne but he's closer to a neo-nazi)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
ZSDD8jAT3aIwj7MJQzKYIyW0tqSSmclR
|
ao2mkn
|
{
"description": "accidentally saying that a trans looks like her other friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for accidentally saying that a trans looks like her other friends?
|
Not a long story but tl;dr at the bottom.
I have (well, had if you can say) a friend who's a transgender. And we built quite a good relationship with each other, and I really do respect her decisions and give her compliments about her looks sometimes.
So she usually sends her selfies on Twitter, and one of those tweets kind of look like her other friends (let me call him S).
And I replied that she kind of look like S, and in response, she said that it was disrespectful as S looks and indentify as a male.
Nothing too serious has broke out but I really feel like I wasn't wrong here. So good people of the internet, please help me. Because I really want to be in good term with her.
Tl;dr: friend who's a trans, accidentally called her someone who looks like a male. She gets mad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
GM9bUnAXElY3YGlTVg2vmLYnxU8pYiBn
|
ah5edc
|
{
"description": "wanting my brother to replace what was destroyed under his supervision",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA for wanting my brother to replace what was destroyed under his supervision?
|
Okay, so a couple of days ago I had to go to work and I left my pencil pouch filled with my art supplies on my bed behind a closed door. Note that my door doesn’t fully close and it used to have a latch on it but the latch broke, so there was nothing to stop my door from being opened.
My older brother was in charge of watching my family’s 3 large dogs (Two English Mastiffs and a Great Dane). I come home at 8 o clock and find that my leather pencil pouch, pencils, gel pen, and all my mechanical lead has been eaten and ripped apart.
My parents say that I should have put my supplies away and not left them on my bed but I think that my brother should have watched them better.
I want him to replace my supplies because he should have kept a better eye on them (although he did say that he kept them out of my room several times, I doubt that he did.)
Am I the asshole here?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
1hGDb71oPfXgOtG3qmpjcO9trFpJ3Xf7
|
b22kme
|
{
"description": "banning my best friend from my Minecraft server",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for banning my best friend from my Minecraft server?
|
Geez, who knew Minecraft could be so dramatic?
A week ago Saturday I told my best friend from middle school (we are 18 and in college now) about a server I’m running (let’s call him T) and T joined the server, and I made T an OP.
Our server has some rules like no building in creative etc. and T isn’t a part of the discord, but I informed him on our rules.
Well T decides he is going to build a huge fucking castle right next to our town.
Queue Wednesday The players realize he obviously has used creative which is against our community rules, so they begin messing with him. They start using world edit to remove small parts of the wall, and then undo their edit so it goes back. This goes on for a while and he is getting frustrated.
T proceeds to call me and complain that they’re messing with him and ask me to tell them to stop. I tell him I can’t do that as of then and he should log off it is really bothering him. T proceeds to tell me to ban said players for messing with him to which I said no. Things escalate on the server to the point where I join the discord call and ask them to stop. They obviously didn’t because T got very upset.
The next day (Thursday) there is lava all over everyone’s builds and our town we made.
Of course everyone in the discord is confused because we are whitelisted, and the person who did it has to be an idiot to grief because I can check server logs to figure out who it is. I check the logs and it was T who did it. I deop and ban him at this point.
Later that day I unban him and reop him because T told me he was sorry. So we play.
That night I get an onslaught of messages from the community telling me to ban T again because they don’t trust him. I was put in a tough decision so I decided to ban him again because T did grief and the players were uncomfortable with T being on the server.
Queue this evening. T sends me a Snapchat saying he isn’t mad about me banning him, he’s mad that I’m prioritizing the players of the server, over him, my best friend since middle school. I tell him he griefed the server but he believes his griefing was justified because he was giving the players a taste of their own medicine ie: messing with builds.
I told T that it seems pretty childish to be mad at me over a block game and people I can’t control. So I proceed to ask him. “Are you seriously question my ability to be a good friend over a f*cking block game?”
And T says “you didn’t have my back and made me feel unwelcome on your server, so yeah”
That shocked me. It really did. And it’s kind of gotten to me a bit.
So, am I the asshole for banning my best friend from my Minecraft server? Could I have been harsher on the players and threatened them with demotes to get them to stop?
Tl;dr - my best friend from middle school griefed my Minecraft server because he was being messed with by other players and proceeded to tell me I was a bad friend because I didn’t stick up for him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
LutfUc3AR79crMNQi9l674QO7P8xTsCJ
|
9u72qd
|
{
"description": "cutting of my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting of my friend?
|
This could be a longer one
So before i start i'm german and my english isn't the best so sorry in advance
And i'm 15 and friends with this girl since wie were 12
So it all started when we were in 7th grade we got along very well and became 'best friends' and in the beginning our friendship was alright and stuff and everything seemed okay until she started treating me... Let's say different. It started with not wanting to share her stuff even though she always took my stuff without asking (which didn't bother me but if i would have done it to her she would have gotten angry) and she always called me stupid for no reason or told me not to whine about stuff when i came to her to talk about my worries. Many times she always made it about her , for example when i said i couldnt sleep last night until 3 am she would tell me "oh you know how long I couldn't sleep yesterday??? Stop complaining" even though i didnt really complain, i just told her normally.
Then 8th grade, a girl from another class came into our class. She was a good friend of mine and we hung out alot which made my 'best friend' jealous. The thing is, yes i met the other girl wayyy more often BUT that was because
1. i always got asked to hang out (i dont want to make myself look 'cool' or smth by saying that, its just when she asked me i wouldnt say no bc shes a nice Person and i liked meeting up with her. My 'best friend' on the other hand literally NEVER asked me. I always had to call, and when I did, she was almost never free or i had to call 5 other times until we had a date which she then would cancel most of the time anyway)
2. at this point, i think we both changed personality-wise and we just hadn't anything to talk about so meeting up w/ my 'best friend' was pretty boring
I still tried to meet up anyway bc i did not want to lose her yet and thought that its maybe just a Phase
I told another friend how i felt about this Situation and that i don't think the title 'best friends' is fitting right now, and she totally agreed and told me she thinks the same and that she notices how shitty my 'best friend' treats me
Then 9th grade
The other girl i hung out with alot changed classes again so she wasnt in mine anymore. We still keep contact but it isnt as close anymore ( which is okay with me ). Anyway, 9th grade was pretty okay bc there was noone else she could get jealous of, but we just kept on changing in different directions. Which resulted in her insulting me all the time over super banal things like i remember one time i forgot my math stuff bc i thought we would have physics that day and i told her all jokingly like "ohh i thought we wouldnt have maths haha" and she just said "omg you are so dumb " which wasbt a joke i mean maybe thats just her personality but that just isnt how u treat your best friend or am i wrong?? I wasnt to hurt over that, i mean she just called me dumb its really no big deal but that happened sooo often over the most normal things it just got annoying and i told her that and she just said ohh but im not serious which is bullshit i knew her at that point i can tell exactly when she is joking and that just wasnt it. She still can't share, she is super egotistical, she constantly jokes about others and laughs about Jokes about me but when you joke about her or i laugh abt a joke about her she gets angry and stops talking to me for a day or so (for 1 stupid joke i mean come on)
There i already held on to her for too long imo but i always thought maybe she will change again and be like in the beginning of our friendship but noo never happened it just got worse
Then 10th grade to today
We were in a friendgroup of 4 where we would contsantly joke abt one another. AS i already said, she cant take Jokes. At all. I don't say she had to change, she just didnt fit in our friendgroup acting like that. We sometimes have a bigger break between the lessons in the morning and the ones in the afternoon. We always hang around at a bakery and we like to do some silly stuff cause we're teenagers you know... And my 'best friend ' just always tries to shame us for that. She rolls her eyes, tells us to shut up, stops talking if you poke some fun at her, etc... It's just annoying. She still didnt stop insulting me, still the same sh*t with the sharing and almost never meeting up,....
And here it begins to start getting messy.
Her moms birzhday is on Halloween. She always talks about how she thinks Halloween is stupid and that she doesnt celebrate it bc they go out eating with her mom. No Problem, i hang out with others on Halloween. But noooo she doesnt want me to do that. I had plans to hang out with two other friends this year, and when she heard about this, she got upset. (Well she thinks that i replaced her with one of those friends i wanted to meet up with even if we barely See each other cause that girl lives pretty far away and there are two other friends in my class i See way More often so i don't get why she thinks that the one who lives far away replaced her bc there are other options which would make way more sense) anyaway, the thing that made me finally tell her that i don't think we are best friends anymore is the fact that she didnt talk to me for 3 days straight even though we sit together in almost every room at school. When i finally asked her why the Heck she ignores me, she says that she thinks its bad from me that i didnt ask her to do something on Halloween even though she ALWAYS tells me that she IS NOT FREE ON Halloween bc of her mom. So i didnt even bother asking, and now shes upset about that. There she also told me that she feels replaced by that one friend (as i said, makes no sense at all)
So there i got angry .
Everytime she made me feel stupid bc of the dumbest things, everytime she wouldnt give a thing but take everything, everytime she would ignore me for hours because of one joke, everytime i tried to talk about something only to get a super flat response, it just hit me.
I stg i tried to save this friendship. I tried to meet up, i tried to get a conversation going, i tried to ignore all the mean things she said, but NOTHING came from her side.
So i told her all those things and that that is maybe why i do more stuff with others and that we can still talk and just not be 'best friends' anymore. Since then she doesnt talk to me at all and talks sh*t behind my back. Very nice.
I'm sorry if this seems overdramatic, it's just this left me feeling kinda bad and thats why i am posting this here. Was i overreacting and she did not treat me bad at all? Was i too harsh? Its just i had waited for so long i just had more than enough.
TL;DR felt treated unfairly by best friend since a long time, decided to cut 'best friendship', now feels bad and thinks maybe was too harsh.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
BQ5tpx0gL9GGtj4anDCme3WFyQDIfB1V
|
aij4m2
|
{
"description": "talking about my fiend without her knowing",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Talking About My Fiend Without Her Knowing?
|
Tl:dr
AW 'copies' me and my friend's interest and styles and we talk about it without her knowing.
Here's some context:
Me: A semi-extrovert who likes anime, manga, writing, reading, and recently BTS and K-pop.
GP: My friends who talks about my other friend with me. She likes to say she's an emo kid and she loves Panic! At The Disco.
AW: Attention Whore as GP likes to say sometimes. I don't know if all her likes are her's but I know she likes BTS and everything Korean. Also maybe everything me and GP like too. Has a step-dad and complains a lot about family issues.
Okay, the story begins. I'm transferred to a new class in the 2nd week of school. It was a High Honors class I think or SIG. You must have an average of 90 or higher to remain in that class ( Slightly relevant ). I knew most of the boys in the class from my old school and most of the girls if you could say that. ( I let them cheat off me a lot on every test and homework. Pretty sure that's the reason why they kind of like me. ) I found my quiet kindergarten bestie and we instantly reconnect as besties. Sadly my other quieter 4th-grade bestie was in a different class. The first day of the class it's warm outside and we decide to go out. That's when I met AW and GP ( A few others too ). They were on their phones watching something hidden behind their bags. I do the same and my quieter 4th-grade bestie does the same only with my phone only.
Now, this continued for a few days before we actually spoke to AW and GP. We bonded about many things and it seemed like we all had the same interest. I said I liked BTS and Anime so did AW. I thought nothing of it because many girls like BTS and anime. GP mentioned how she loved musicals.
Now here is where it starts. We start gushing over Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Be More Chill, Mean Girls, and Heathers. We start rocking out to the songs and listening to them whenever we could. AW could only say
"I like that too!"
"Yeah, that's my favorite scene!"
I figured she wasn't a hardcore fangirl so I showed her Hamilton. I started the shit-storm. We all started singing "The Schleyer Sisters' when we wanted each other's attention. I found out later that AW had pretended to binge all the songs and only knew the ones I showed her. Around that time GP started telling me more about AW.
Privately.
She said things like.
"I just said that joke"
"I told her that before."
(One of her recent things was "I told her I loved Sailor Moon. I even wrote a fan fiction about it. And I told her about how my Auntie introduced it to me at a young age but now she's telling everyone the same thing but about herself.")
I at first simply ignored them and nodded sympathetically. I didn't really partake in the conversations at first. Until AW started being cold to me. According to GP, she had said that I was verbally abusive and didn't care about her at all. Which is wrong. I was just tired of hearing about how her stepdad sucked. But I never said that and just stayed on my phone, read, or just nodded.
I started getting annoyed and shared my experiences with AW which were mostly her trying to steal my art style.
Now just this Friday she broke down during last period in Gym. I was doing a few girls homework and helping GP. She was crying next to my number one new bestie ( I liked her bubbly personality. ). All I had heard before she started crying was "I just don't feel like I can tell anyone expect \[ kindergarten bestie \] about my problems"
I comfort her and hug her. I tell GP but she was skeptical. The day before AW had told me I would 'feel' on Friday when I made the joke I had no feelings. She was going on about how she doesn't feel accepted and that she needs to change herself to everyone's likes.
( Does that excuse you for copying her bio and her profile pic? )
Of course, I explained that makes it worse. She said that she had a lot of pressure from her Dad screaming at her and her mom and she was going to stop making friends. GP seemed to think she was just trying to be emo since lately, she was wearing all black. She said that there was one person that makes her feel terrible every day. Weirdly it was a girl we barely hang out with as a group \[ We suggested ourselves but she was quick to decline that we were suspect \].
Am I the asshole?
( Also, GP made jokes about AW sucking her dad's you-know-what because she always sucks up to him. But like she also nicknames us pr\*stitute, wh\*re, sl\*t, h\*e. She also calls white people white-trash. I don't know if it's justifiable though. )
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
0lXwFJma4n6YCP4TJ8kwJfrRbgNqnyx0
|
b66ngh
|
{
"description": "taunting my dead dad's girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 81,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for taunting my dead dad's girlfriend?
|
throwaway for safety
So my father died yesterday morning.
I went No-Contact with him and that entire side of the family about 15 years ago and haven't looked back since. He was violent, abusive drunk to me, abusive to my mother, and abusive to my half-brother, who I don't really have nor want a relationship with. He was a violent drunk, and the son of a Nazi Officer during WWII. He was also known for having multiple girlfriends at multiple times, usually to take their money and feed his alcohol and tobacco addiction. He was a shit human being with no redeemable qualities. We will refer to him as Fritz.
Yesterday morning Fritz finally dropped of a heart attack, and we're all relieved and actually happy about it, like winning a lottery we didn't even realize we entered. But his girlfriend-of-the-year (who we will refer to as Jane) is pretty broken up about it. My mother reached out to Jane to wish her the best and express her condolences. Jane dropped a "To tell the truth" bomb, which she pined over the fact that my mother caused Fritz's two only sons to "abandon" him and wouldn't talk to him, especially in his time of need. She expressed regret over the fact that my half-brother and I never bothered to rebuild the relationship and meet the "rest of the family".
It was very obvious that my father filled Jane's head up with lies and played the "poor me" game the way he did his entire life. And my mother didn't appreciate playing the blame game when she was simply trying to be nice. So she responded:
>"Fritz had two different sons, 10 years apart, with two different women, in two different cities, in two different situations, and they both decided to cut off contact, and they both feel zero regret or grief. Perhaps if Fritz took some responsibility for his actions for once in his life, he wouldn't have felt so alone when he passed."
Jane ended up sending a bunch of nasty messages before blocking my mother completely. So I sent a message to Jane,
>"Jane, I'm sorry for your loss. But you have known him for literally 1/25th of the time that I've known him. You do not get to comment on my or my brother's relationship with him. You don't get to pass judgment on what I chose to do after the trauma I experienced, and you certainly don't get to send nastygrams after we tried to offer condolences. We have no idea who you are, frankly, and we have no interest in learning. There is no "rest of the family", he was not part of the family and you certainly aren't either. If he lived for another two years, he would've had another two girlfriends. I understand you thought you were different because he never pushed you down the stairs or sunk his forearm around your throat, I'm understand you're hurt and that this is tough for you, but that does not make you a member of this family. Have a nice day, never contact us again."
The rest of the family agrees that it's a good thing Fritz passed, but my message specifically was a little overboard to Jane. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 80,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
crySmc6L35M7e9qpQhqigKcMWbTpiL9E
|
b43dlt
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to an event because someone I didnt like would be there",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to an event because someone I didnt like would be there?
|
Long story short I had been looking forward to an(public) event for about an year and I invited my friends to join me. A girl I didnt really like, call her A kinda got invited or invited herself? I dont really know but as a result I decided I would either go alone or not go at all because I didnt really want to share rhat experience with her. Unfortunately A's significant other is also my best friend, call them B. B asked why I was changing my plans and i explained that I dont like A, and while I can be in the same space as A I didnt want them at MY thing. Adding to this I was the only one that would be affected by any alterations made to plans of me going alone or not going at all. Basically not B is mad at me for not liking A. And i decided Im not even going to go for the thing irregardless of A's attendance to it because I think i just fucked up a 5 year friendship with B. Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
wQQWF5ysLiGSzimQ4YMeZbSMDDmxHCG5
|
ajgwbg
|
{
"description": "not helping my s/o pay for our $1,400 deposit on our apartment",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not helping my S/O pay for our $1,400 deposit on our apartment?
|
Alright, so a **huge** difference between me and my s/o, is that she's incredibly great at saving money. I have worked for 4 years (I'm 19 going on 20), and she's only worked for a year making the exact same amount as me, though constantly having loads in her bank account (she didn't have to pay rent prior to us moving in together, I had to pay rent at my parents' house) because I like to waste my money on guitars and things I don't need.
We moved into an apartment that had a $1,400 deposit, but only $700 a month which is a *steal* considering the quality and location of the apartment. I couldn't even contribute 1/4 of the deposit at the time we had to pay it, and she had absolutely no problem covering it as long as I would pay her back my half in time. I offered anything I could, but she declined because she's a goddamn saint.
9 months later, we're still living at the apartment and we haven't even brought up the money I owe her. I worry about it constantly, and ***really*** don't want her to think I'm taking advantage of her in any way. I do my best to make up for it by covering our \~100 power bill each month, as well as our $70 internet bill, but I still worry she'll bring this up or she's saving it as ammo during our next fat argument, and I know I'll just get really nervous and say something stupid or meaningless.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
BxG61Pz7hVqthj3WfyVwdfjDZGjwXY4b
|
at86df
|
{
"description": "not contesting a parking ticket",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I didn’t contest a parking ticket?
|
So recently on a Sunday night I got a parking ticket for being parked in a space that became a no parking space after midnight. Thing is, I parked right next to a sign that clearly stated “no parking 8-5 Wednesday for street cleaning” and the sign about no parking past midnight was at least 100 feet away (I didn’t notice it when parking).
I was going to contest the ticket with photographs showing how I clearly wouldn’t be able to see that sign, but the officer got my plate wrong. I only realized this because I tried using my plate number to contest the ticket.
The ticket has my car described completely incorrectly (different year, plate, and last 4 VIN). There’s no way that the ticket can be tracked back to me afaik UNLESS I contest it.
The way I see it, the officer made mistake on top of another mistake and it seems like I have to deal with that. If I choose not to contest it, I may damage his standing at work. WIBTA if I didn’t contest it?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
UU1jgFfEuRi3txXLun0QfvvQcXXSRM2e
|
b72g0d
|
{
"description": "not making the egg how my dad likes it",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not making the egg how my dad likes it?
|
My parents and I have a very rocky relationship, and I am extremely into the culinary arts and such. Today I decided I would make some french toast, some hashbrowns with a few spare potatoes, and some fried eggs. My mom wasn't hungry, so I just cooked for my dad. I make the entire plate of food, and then I serve it to him. The egg was completely cooked with a runny yolk, and then he tells me he wants a "cooked" egg. I didn't know what he meant, so I said "it is cooked". I then get barraged with how it's still not cooked and how it's still slimy (which if you've ever eaten an egg before, the yolk isn't slimy, and the whites were set.). I decided that I'd just make him another egg with a cooked yolk and everything and leave it at that, despite how we had argued over if it was cooked or not. Then he continues to ask me, "are you mad? don't be mad, c'mon."
​
This irritates me, so I just head off to my room in a heap of anger at being harassed over an egg. I then hear him three hours later complaining to my mom about how it's just an egg and that I need to get over it. I was just in my room, and frankly I had forgotten about the entire thing.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
LqdyCfMOWuNvgkzWK0DivGviPQ62ebhB
|
b1xuho
|
{
"description": "\"agreeing\" that I cheated",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for "agreeing" that I cheated?
|
So last night I went to a party with some friends and the guy I’m dating exclusively did not attend. While there I had drunk quite a bit but I was just dancing and talking to a female friend I hadn’t seen in a while, generally having a good time.
​
My dad had told me that he was picking me up at a specific time, and it was about 10 minutes past that so I was anxious that he was trying to contact me and not getting through. So when my phone started ringing, I thought it was my dad and picked up immediately.
​
It was the guy I’m dating, who told me that someone told him that they had seen me with being super close with a guy all night. I couldn’t hear well because the music was loud so I asked him to repeat it a few times and he asked me if it was true. I don’t remember exactly what I said but he says that I said “Yeah, sure” and he took this as confirmation that I had cheated.
​
Now he doesn’t believe me when I said that nothing happened because I didn’t just deny it, but in my mind, I thought it was obvious. He has also never accused me like this before so I didn’t think he really believed it was true.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
lpAsN7WtPVGBLI64wln1RvzYNdSrjuuU
|
b0rvs6
|
{
"description": "repossessing a concert ticket",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for repossessing a concert ticket?
|
So basically I bought two tickets to a concert for me and my girl to attend and she paid me for the half but I still have both the tickets in my email but then she cheated on me and wants to sell the ticket to someone else bc obviously she won’t wanna go now. However I want to sell it to someone else so they can attend with me. AITA if I give her her money back and therefore repossessing the ticket so I can sell it to a friend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
aezHZXtCv3ecBdnrNGQdfRtiY76gfGjz
|
a75q2k
|
{
"description": "calling my girlfriends dad when I thought she was going to kill herself",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling my girlfriends dad when i thought she was gonna kill herself
|
Throwaway for reasonable reasons.
My girlfriend was talking to me last night about how she was super depressed, etc, and that she wanted to kill herself. She sent me a snapchat of her with cut wrists and I immediately phoned her dad and told him to go and check on her. He caught her with a razor in her hand and now she isn’t talking to me because I told her dad about it.
AITA here? I feel really shitty because she isnt speaking to me, but i dont know if i did the right thing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zu6GqVkL5fz8K8IHQPwdq4iiahEPn8Ye
|
b8smrb
|
{
"description": "not caring too much for my family",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA: I don’t care too much for my family.
|
I have a really loving, caring, and supportive family who would do just about anything for me but I just can’t connect with any of them. The only one who I do really like is my brother but I’ve only talked to him maybe 50 times in my life. I don’t dislike anyone in my family but if it were up to me, I would rather hang out with friends or be alone than be with the people in my family. My mom is super unfunny and annoying, my dad is insane, and I just don’t connect well with either of my sisters. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
tKiE9GT1OU25idVnJtzjJPy9nh0lyD3X
|
armtj2
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pick my friend up every time we hang",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pick my friend up every time we hang
|
I live in a small town about a half hour from a city. There is more to do in the city, so when I hang out with my friend (who lives in the city) we typically make plans to do something in the city. It never fails that a few minutes after we make plans, or shortly before I'm going to leave my house to meet her, she'll message me asking if I can give her a ride or if I 'want to give her a ride.' She owns a car and can drive, but doesn't like to. Picking her up/dropping her off probably tacks on about 10 minutes to each leg of the journey. I know it's a small thing but I get irked by little things that become obligations. AITA? And if I'm not, the other issue is how to politely say no to something like this, keyword being politely as she is a very nice person. Obviously I CAN do it, and I just don't want to. Saying I 'can't' or that I have other obligations won't really work as she can just offer to change the day/time of our meetup to whenever it would work for me to pick her up. And I hate to have to just come out and tell her 'look, of course I could pick you up, I just don't want to' if there's a nice way to avoid actually saying that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
SilouzmraQUYzTIrgZfqkYkP2sidQa3Q
|
ac0hem
|
{
"description": "cutting off my best friend who has become toxic",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for cutting off my best friend who has become toxic?
|
Hello, this is a throwaway account and I'm gonna do my best to keep my story vague because I don't want the person I'm talking about to find this.
I have a best friend, let's call them J. J and I have been very close for about 3 years now, and for 1.5 of those years, I have been living in a different state. I have come back to our hometown several times since I've moved, including a whole summer, and we would still hang out when I was here. When I'm back in my new state, we don't really talk much aside from snapchatting and posting about our lives on Instagram.
J and I had a group of mutual friends, but nearly everyone in the group is or was immature at some point and there have been several falling outs between different individuals, but J and I have stayed close. I am the only member of the group that has moved.
I mention our group because J has had a great deal of drama within this group, especially with the members of the other sex, because she has been involved in romantic relationships with most of them. After each one ended, things within the group were awkward for a while and J and her former boyfriend would almost never be close again. In addition to these \~4 guys in our group, she has had a series of small, short relationships with other guys that she met outside of the group. Each breakup was a bigger deal than the last one, and the way these guys broke her heart got worse and worse over time.
So along with relationship troubles, J has always had mental health issues - anxiety, depression, etc. In all of her social circles (this friend group and people at her school), people have decided to gang up against her this year, and she has lost a great amount of friends. She tells me I am one of the only friends she has left, which makes me feel guilty for wanting to cut her off, at least for a while.
J makes me feel bad for still hanging out with our old mutual friends; in fact, she has always been extremely jealous and makes me feel guilty whenever I hang out with anyone that's not her when I'm in town. She asks me "how I could still want to be friends with" these people, but I've known some of them longer than I've known her! I used to cut out every friend that she had a talking out with, but after reflecting, I really regret it - I don't think I should have to cut someone out of my life just because J doesn't get along with them. Sometimes, she re-friends these people and then I have to decide if I should become their friend again too or not.
My main issue with all of her social issues that have been going on is that I don't live here anymore! I have an entirely different, new life in a different state and I really enjoy it. It doesn't make sense for me to still be this close and involved with someone who lives over 1000 miles away. I don't wanna get involved in her drama because it honestly doesn't concern me.
J has also rubbed me the wrong way occasionally throughout our friendship - constantly bringing up issues that are very sensitive or things she knows I am very insecure about. I have always had to pay for her - meals, groceries her mom needs, clothes that she either "borrows" from me or insists on making me buy for her because "her mom is broke" or something. I understand that money is tight in her family and its not my place to judge how other people manage their finances, but if she needs new clothes so bad, i'm sure her mom could find the money or they could get her secondhand stuff.
I've always had a car and driven her everywhere we go together and I constantly picked her up from appointments, school, friends houses, etc. I was happy to do it but always having to give her a ride on top of always having to pay for her because she "had no money" or "forgot" her wallet puts the car thing over the top for me.
I think the icing on the cake was when she compared her most recent serious relationship, which lasted a month or two (I was out of the state so I barely knew what was going on) to my relationship that lasted 1.5 years and involved long distance dating and my ex boyfriend moving from our home to this new state to be with me. My relationship ended 8 months ago, but I'm still transitioning out of it and she knows how upset the breakup made me. The way she implied these two relationships were the same was like a slap in the face - not to mention that hers was between two 15 year olds and mine involved me from ages 17-19 and him from 16-18.
WIBTA for cutting her out of my life? I feel like she's asking an awful lot from me to be her friend and keep supporting her when I live so far away and have my own life to attend to.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
o4C4MtIheiJtCDbFb76QxNvfyFmChgW5
|
aru45y
|
{
"description": "not taking my sister to the hospital",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not taking my sister to the hospital?
|
Sister calls me at midnight. She says that she just had the worst chest pain she ever had in her life and needs to go to the ER. I ask her if it's still happening and she says no, it stopped about 20 minutes ago. I asked if she thought it might be heart palpitations and she gets upset with me and says "just tell me if you can take me to the hospital or not". I tell her I can't (she doesn't wait for my explanation, says bye and hangs up). She texts me and says her mom is taking her. I tell her I'm sorry that I came off like an ass on the phone, and I ask if she could please keep me updated on on how she is. She replies "nah", so I don't really know if she is ok or not. The thing is, normally I would drop everything and take my loved one to the ER, but this sister has a habit of doing this (gets weird pain, goes to ER, she's dehydrated or something) every few months. I'm currently trying to set boundaries with her because she has a history of bossing me around and I usually just do what she says. She doesn't have health insurance right now and I wanted to make sure it was really necessary for her to go to the ER. Now I feel terrible and I'm super worried about her. AITA?
TL;DR sister has a habit of going to the ER, was upset when I asked if she really needed to go.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nmyymHjLWbkUEWe6RE9v1B9UO7A9BIRg
|
aqewv8
|
{
"description": "doing what I said I would do",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for doing what I said I would do?
|
My ex-girlfriend and I broke up because of no common interests, I didn't like making plans with her, having one of my interests come up, and then I was having to miss out on those. Which happened more then I would like. I felt she tried to monopolize my time which took away from my interests/hobbies. So I broke up with her stating that its because we have no interests together. After a while, she came back to me and said that she understood and that she would no longer monopolize my time and would let me have my free space to do my interests. I told her that if you want to get back together with me, whenever my hobbies or interests come up that whatever plan we had beforehand will become void and I will prioritize them guilt free. I tried to tell her that this is a bad idea for her and she shouldn't agree to these terms because after a while you will resent me for picking my interests over you. She still agreed to the terms even after I very clearly and bluntly stating them. Then it happened, we had plans, and one of my interests came up, so I baled and did my thing. Then it happened again...and again, with me still doing my thing. My roommates believe that I am an asshole for doing precisely what I said I was going to do because it still hurts her and they know this because she still complains about it from time to time. They think I am abusing the terms and using as a pass to do whatever I want whenever I want and that even though she agreed to those terms, I shouldn't treat her like that. I told them that I respect peoples free will of choice even if it's not in the best interest of themselves, that I am not responsible for the actions of others and it would be arrogant to assume that she isn't happy even if she does complain about it every now and then.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
UEIKp2DRYqdv3JnkzZ7ouCSGXhJ6Fdud
|
b916zt
|
{
"description": "being honest",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being honest?
|
Some time ago I met this guy whom i dated once and it was weird right from the beginning.
He didn't wanted to talk about anything. Just sitting and "feeling" the presence of the other, which made me feel uncomfortable. And he wanted to decide on everthing, like my drink or my menu.
After we had dinner, we went to a bar (I'm really bad at turning down people because I have a big issue with standing up for my self and thus ending up in some bad situations).
On the way there he tried to kiss me and I could avoid it somehow. He pretended nothing has happend. I felt so uncomfortable but didn't know what to do.
He always said things like "If you would be my girlfriend you wouldn't have to worry about anything because I would take care of everything." and stuff like that.
After one drink I thanked him for the evening and rushed to my car to avoid him trying to say good night "properly".
He messaged me and told me how much he enjoyed the date and apologized for his brash behavior. I told him that I felt uncomfortable at our date and don't want to see him again.
He was surprisingly understanding and tried to explain himself and seemed to be a weird mix of being a bit pushy and insecure. Seeing him as an insecure person, such as myself hit a soft spot and I didn't break up the contact but I did make very clear that there wouldn't be a future for us as a couple. Maybe some small talk friends. Nothing close but some contact now and then. He agreed.
After that, he started texting me every day telling me about problems at his work and just kind of small talk stuff. I figured he had no one to talk to and to be honest, I felt sorry for him and thus answered his messages and listend to him.
But over time he started to say things like "if you would be my girlfriend..." again, which I immediatly stopped. He became jealous and acted passiv/aggressiv if I wouldn't answer his messages quick enough. He even tried to give me expensive gifts, which I always turned down.
It became to much and I ended our "friendship".
He was really angry and wrote a lot of messages, which I tried to ignore and hoped he would calm down. But then he wrote that he would sometimes think of me as "the future mother of his child" and that he loved me and thought I would come to senses over time by realizing what a great and generous person he is and that he would turn his whole life around me but I'm nothing more than a waste and deserve nothing but hardships and if he could, he would try his best to make my life harder and let me suffer for what I did to him.
I was devastated. I still am.
I'm full of insecuritys and neurosis and I can't fight the thought of it being my fault because I didn't make my point clear enough. But I was honest, all the time. So, AITA for being honest?
Sorry for the long post. I couldn't bring myself to talk with my friends about it and I feel really guilty and I just wanted to get it of my chest. Thanks for reading.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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rtZgCzzS94WuWHptKTFqkJEJwCVnAeX6
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apef5r
|
{
"description": "telling my sister I am worried about her being pregnant because I'm not sure she is financially stable enough",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my sister I am worried about her being pregnant because I'm not sure she is financially stable enough
|
Basically I just returned from a holiday with my parents when my sister announced that she is pregnant. I wish I could have been in a more congratulatory mood for her but I can't help feeling that she and her husband have yet to be financially stable for them to afford a newborn so soon after their marriage. My sister is, understandably, incredibly upset with my reaction and thinks I'm trying to be controlling.
​
My mother has given my sister and her husband tens of thousands of dollars, despite being newly retired. This is from the time during their wedding, to the items in their current flat. For example, the air-conditioners in their flat all broke down due to it being an older flat and the AC units were a bit old. Now, in all the time that my sister and I lived together, she was not the sort who would ever go through a night without turning on the AC due to the humid climate we live in. But she suffered through it until my mother offered to foot the bill to renew all the ACs in their flat. This came up to some thousands. I offered this as an example to her when explaining that if she has trouble replacing the ACs, how could she afford to have a child? She insisted that she could have afforded to pay for the ACs herself, but since our mother offered, she took it up.
​
My mother is the sort of person whose money comes with emotional strings, i.e. when she and my sister have a fight, she would bring up all the times she has bailed my sister out financially. It's not a good thing, but that is who she is. So, we all know that my mother has been consistently giving her money e.g., buying for her stuff for their flat (e.g. a new bed, bathroom fixtures, etc), and also recently giving her a few thousands to settle her credit card debts. To me, these are all red flags that my sister is not in a financially stable place. She earns more than her husband, in fact, her husband can sort of be considered low-income worker. However, my sister spends a considerable amount of her salary on her daily commute to work. She's been trying to get a transfer to a nearer location where she wouldn't have to spend 2 hours on public transport each direction from her home to her workplace, but it's not been working out so well. She takes a daily hitch ride both ways to save on time, but it all adds up to a major chunk of her salary.
​
With all this in mind, I was not optimistic about her financial position. My mother is just recently retired, and she is still receiving some back-pay owed to her from the time she was working, but not for much longer. My dad is set to retire this year. I am not keen on both of them consistently giving her handouts due to their own financial positions, even though I am sure they will. With both of them retired, I will be the one who will be helping support them financially. I am not married but I am also saving up to buy my own home in a few years.
​
As such, I told my sister that it might be wiser for her and her husband to wait a little while longer to get their footing and save a little bit more before having a kid. She found my response very cruel and is very upset with me. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
9BRdW7QRSXT6Tf3fcMIifOK66PE3dSHH
|
9z60jg
|
{
"description": "skipping Thanksgiving on my moms side",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for skipping Thanksgiving on my moms side.
|
My aunt purposely schedules thanksgiving at a conflicting time with the one on my dads side. For the last 20 years my dads done thanksgiving at the same time and has family from all over come over. For the last 20 years my aunts scheduled it at the same time and bitched that we come over see everyone and leave after an hour. Every year someone stops showing up and i think this year its going to be me. I only see this aunt twice a year dispite living in the same small town. I found out this year that 70 percent of my moms family wont be there including my mom and I dont feel like going to her thanksgiving for an hour holding up my dad for thanksgiving and getting bitched at for never seeing my aunt who makes no attempt to talk or see me anytime of the year. Am i the asshole for skipping.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
aSTyELz7jLsuYDE8JMyaJjRQNsCuDLBQ
|
a8p6gv
|
{
"description": "not letting another group perform",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not letting another group perform?
|
Just to preface, I am in high school and was the co host of a relatively large charity event that will be a part of this story. The way we make our money is we charge 7 dollars for dinner and show. So quite a while ago, I was in a dance group that was interested in auditioning for the event I was also co hosting. Coincidentally, another student group from another school was also interested in doing the same song as we did. Their group also had a co host of the event( let’s call her Lisa), and so almost immediately there was conflict. Looking at the audition videos, most of the other co hosts all agreed our audition was subjectively better. Lisa began texting me about possibly combining our acts, to which I replied no. She then asked the possibility of having both of us perform, to which I hard vetoed. She began going off, calling me petty and unreasonable, as well as spreading shit about our group and our members (which had nothing to do with the argument). Finally after a long time, i said that I wasn’t willing to charge people 7 dollars, and feared we would lose our reputation. So big question, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
1YbiOpPdiZGtmqsNHGhBkISXHuozEWHi
|
azgurf
|
{
"description": "telling my friend off for asking too much from me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I told my Friend off for asking too much from me
|
So basically I have a spare monitor at home, I was planning to sell it off online for some cash. I thought about it and decided it would be better if I gave it to my Friend who might want it. I asked him if he wanted the monitor for free and he said he would be happy to take it off me. He went on to asked me about specs and size of the monitor and how he was going to sell it off after I gave it to him. After he made that comment, I felt slightly upset that he would just sell off something I gave him for free. However, I shrugged it off and moved on. Just a few minutes ago, he asked me to get him a box and bags specially to cover the monitor and he demanded that there would be no scratches or damage to screen when he received it. It pissed me off quite a bit as I’m giving away the monitor for free. Would I be the asshole if I told him off that I wasn’t too happy about him being so picky? And I would like to find out if y’all think he’s an asshole or not.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
CJLwrDkhG6mZkqmzhah20vovuv9BywRV
|
axvlzr
|
{
"description": "not buying my significant other the kind of propposal ring they want",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't buy my significant other the kind of propposal ring they want?
|
My SO and I have had many discussions about how I am not comfortable with buying "real" (as is dug up from the ground) diamonds or gemstone rings due to moral and ethical issues I have with them (blood gems, artificial inflation, and general shitty nature of the gem trade).
I'm more than happy to spend money on something made in a lab under better labor conditions, but my SO gets upset anytime I mention it.
What do I do? Would I be an asshole if I still bought a lab grown gemstone or diamond ring? Shes dead set on wanting a "real" rock because she wants it to hold value longer and kinda just because.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DLZlfUcto06u9tmIptHHuBl4iUgYp9SB
|
ak5fjn
|
{
"description": "asking a special needs man's caretaker to wait with him in his apartment for his transportation",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked a special needs man's caretaker to wait with him in his apartment for his transportation?
|
Background: I live in an apartment complex that has a decent amount of people with special needs, from people who need daily in-home assistance to people who are a little socially awkward but are otherwise well-meaning, nice people. Perfectly fine, and I've never had any real problems with anyone.
Maybe six months ago, a gentleman with special needs moved in across the street from me. His services, from what I can gather, include a caretaker and door-to-door assistance from our local public transport. Whenever he is picked up by the public transport, he and his caretaker will sit outside waiting for the bus, and he will shout whatever seems to be going through his head. They will wait outside for up to an hour (I am assuming so that the bus driver will know where to pick him up), with this gentleman just happily shouting along at a volume that I can still hear even with all my windows and doors closed.
I don't want to be rude, but I have been woken up before my early morning alarm, and I've also been kept up late because of this. I work early hours, and I'm not a great sleeper at the best of times, so I would like to gently ask the man's caretaker if they could possibly try to wait inside the man's apartment a little longer. So, Reddit, would I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
wP87uBKCl3IP1tf1dhMjy5UWfN0OEEoV
|
axfnm2
|
{
"description": "I stopped doing errands personally not signing up for",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I stopped doing errands I personally didn't sign up for?
|
(Sorry for possible mistakes, English is my second language and I'm on phone)
So, me and my family live in a town on the coast of Mexico and we rent a room to a foreign lady and her dog(she comes, stays 6 months here and goes), we've been doing this for at least 10 years now, everything was fine the first times she came here.
Now when she first came I had no idea my dad, who is friends with her son(he has a bar in town) signed me up as her bell boy, everytime she arrives I take her luggage to her room(her room is on a third floor so I have to go up and down the stairs a couple times to get everything), sometimes go buy stuff she needs, order take out for her, even help her way up the stairs when she comes home wasted.
I'm a big guy, and can handle heavy things and all but I never agreed to do this, I simply do it for courtesy and to not feel like an ass to my dad.
Well the problem I had became bigger the last three years she came, she always arrived unannounced, she just knocked on our door and shoved her stuff on me to take to her room, coming in like she owned the place, shouting at us from her room everytime anything failed(our house is old and sometimes the plumbing acts up).
I personally started really disliking this lady, but I don't want to be seen as an asshole if I stopped helping her, she sometimes brings us gifts and pays me when I help her, but I never said I would be her personal assistant, I also have a life of my own.
TLDR: dad signed me up to be the personal helper of a lady we rent to, after countless stupid events I want out.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Jqj4puaP5j9uO3GlJJzRHnQNgkK5RMIJ
|
ags80e
|
{
"description": "not wanting to fly home to dog sit",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to fly home to dog sit?
|
Throwaway because people I know are aware of what my main account's username is.
I (M20) am a college student, and I go to school out of state - my family live a couple states away, about 2 hours by flight and about 12 hours by car. My little sister (F18) has applied to a couple different schools, and her dream school was the one I attend, but she was rejected this week from the school and has to start looking elsewhere. She and my dad (M55) and mom (F53) have been talking about visiting schools sometime this month.
This afternoon I missed a call from my dad, who left a voicemail just asking him to call him back. I did, and my dad started asking me about when my classes for the week ended and what days off I had next month. I told him but cautioned that I frequently have plans with my friends on the weekend, and I overheard him over the phone telling my little sister to "look up available dates". I asked him point blank what was going on, and he told me that my little sister, he, and my mother were going to go to some of the schools that my little sister had been accepted to, and they wanted me to fly home to watch the dog and house sit for possibly multiple weekends next month.
I was a little incredulous at this - my twin brother (M20) is at college at a school much closer than me and regularly visits home for the weekends, something that I rarely have the luxury to do. My family also knows many people with whom our dog is quite friendly, so it's not like they \*need\* me around. The dog has some medical issues and will get very stressed if he is separated from his family, however, but we have gone on extended trips without him several times without significant issues.
I told my dad this, and he said that he wanted me to dog-sit, and would pay for me to fly home. I felt really uncomfortable with this (a plane ticket would be something like $300, and the cost of getting a friend to dog-sit would be far less, or even free if my brother was available, though my father is well enough off that finances are not a significant obstacle for him). He asked me when I would be available for the weekend, and I told him point blank that I simply did not want to do it. I often go out and do things with my friends on the weekends, and I thought that it was a waste of my time and his money to send me home just to dog sit. I am not home sick or anything, and the thought of flying home to an empty house for a weekend is not something I enjoy.
He accepted it, we talked for a little bit more, and then we ended the conversation. A few minutes later, he called me back, and said that he was quite angry at me for saying no.
He said that he was only asking a favor of me, and that he had spent the past twenty years doing favors for me (including paying for my college, plane tickets home for winter/spring break), and that he felt offended that I had declined to do this favor for him, and that he did not like that I had declined without giving him specifics with regard to availability. I told him that I appreciated all of the favors that he had done for me throughout the years, but I did not feel comfortable doing this for him as I did not think it was a smart move on either his part or my part. I apologized for offending him. He did not ask me again to come home and dog sit, and I did not offer. We ended the conversation again, but I got the impression that he was still angry.
Am I the Asshole? Even if my dad has no issue spending that money for a plane ticket home, I did not want to go home to an empty house and a dog for a weekend, and I thought that it was unreasonable of him to expect that of me.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
kY2vSAVBvfsS25V3PJbLQvKs9veleanp
|
ap8o5m
|
{
"description": "confronting my roommate over whether or not he used my bodywash",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for confronting my roommate over whether or not he used my bodywash?
|
I normally and by normally I mean in 99.9% of all cases when I shower close the lid on my bodywash and shampoo. This morning when I woke up I went in the bathroom and saw that my bodywash was open, which was a little concerning. There are two other people who live in the house, and only one of them was in at the time so I asked him
>"Hey my bodywash was open this morning any idea about what's up?"
to which he replied
>"Sorry man I wouldn't know I don't even shower here I shower at work"
Cue "that's kind of messed up, thanks man" from me.
I took out the garbage and when I got back my OTHER housemate had just walked in so I asked him the same question
>"Hey man my bodywash was open this morning and I don't remember not closing it any idea about it?"
To which he replied
>"Nope"
And promptly walked up the stairs to his room. As he was walking up I followed him to go to the bathroom and called out after him
>"Yo it's kind of fucked up man"
After hearing this he stormed out of his room, threw open my bedroom door (I was in the bathroom with the door open) then turned and walked right up to my face and started screaming that he and the girl he brought home last night had showered together and brought their own soap. I honestly don't remember exactly what was said because I was so focused on holding his screaming face away from me.
I feel very uneasy and unsafe now. This is the first time he's lost his temper like this but he's gotten very angry about things I've done in the past (such as leave dishes in the sink). Thankfully we resolved that peacefully with a group discussion and decided that as a house rule we would not leave dishes in the sink to which I've been doing my best to follow. I'm the only one who actually cooks in the house so this rule is really just a reminder for me to be cleanly.
AITA? I was annoyed that he just brushed off my question to him with no explanation or detail and my very last comment obviously set him off.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
ki2dm0aRKA3S4OueUHkuBVgkGDCtdpHZ
|
acwgj0
| null |
AITA for my last minute travel plans
|
So I am currently in a long distance relationship, my boyfriend lives in Ottawa for school and I now live in Toronto. I went to Montreal with my mom and brother to visit family and we planned to drive back, drop my brother off in Ottawa (where he also goes to school) then continue on to Toronto. I spoke to my boyfriend and knew that he would be coming back to Ottawa the day after we planned to leave, it’s been a month since we’ve seen each other and I miss him terribly so I said that I could stay in Montreal on my own for one night then go to see him as soon as he is back in Ottawa. My best friend lives in Montreal and I also haven’t seen her for more than a month, so I’d get to see her and spend the night there.
Last night I ran this plan by my mom, she hasn’t been feeling well lately so I wanted to check if she would feel comfortable driving back from Ottawa to Toronto by herself. She said she wasn’t, so I said that it was fine and that I would cancel with my boyfriend and wait another week. She asked if I was upset, and I said I was disappointed but it’s not a big deal, I’m human so it’s to be expected but I’ll get over it. My mom deals with a lot of anxiety and I’m sympathetic to it but I also find it really exhausting. I mention her anxiety because what I hoped would be a quick conversation for some advice has turned into an insane fight between her, my brother and me.
Last night, she asked for my brother to join our conversation and tell us what he thought. I really wished she wouldn’t do this as my brother has anger issues and treats me like the family caretaker. He said that did not want mom driving back by herself. Again, I said that’s fine, and that I’d cancel and yes (I think reasonably) I would be disappointed but I’d also get over it. This turned into an exhausting family conference which thankfully ended late last night with me, agreeing multiple times to cancel my plan and go back.
My mom woke me up this morning and told me that she is fine to go by herself and that I could stay back. I knew she was lying so I said no. She told me she didn’t want me to be upset and I said I appreciated it but I’d rather her just be honest with me, because constantly going back and forth on this has me feeling really manipulated and confused. I asked her not to do this flip flopping thing because it makes it impossible for me to discern the best way to balance my needs and hers, and I gave her hug, told her I wasn’t mad at her, that I appreciated the offer but that I knew she was nervous about driving so I had no problem going back. Was I still sad? Yes, obviously. I just wanted to see the people I care about, and having to argue with someone against my own happiness is tiring.
Anyways we just got to Ottawa, as soon as we pulled up my mom started to suggest getting a hotel room for the two of us to stay one night so that I could see my boyfriend tomorrow. Since that still doesn’t solve the issue of her driving back alone I said no, and I had just texted my boyfriend to cancel. She kept insisting so I kept having to, again, for the second time this morning, argue against my happiness. I also said it didn’t matter because half the point of me spending a night in Montreal would have been to see my friend. She started getting upset with me and snapped “well I don’t want you around if you’re going to be sad all day tomorrow”. This statement set me off, I deal with severe depression, I have since high school and I’ve never had her support. She gets upset when I’m not happy even though she knows I’m depressed and also knows that I was suicidal for much of October/November. She spent that time angry at me, avoiding me, treating me with disgust. When I told her I was feeling suicidal she walked out of my room. She has anxiety so she finds talking about that stuff really difficult.
Anyways, back to today. I started crying in the car, I was just feeling tired and overwhelmed and confused. It didn’t help that I so badly wanted to say yes to a hotel room I knew we couldn’t afford and yes to her driving back alone in the snow tomorrow. Both her and my brother started screaming at me because I was upset, my brother told me I was being selfish, that I didn’t care about her and that all I wanted to do was see my boyfriend. At this point I felt close to a panic attack because I have no idea how this conclusion was reached. I said yes to doing what they wanted, I told her only a couple of hours ago to not worry about me being sad and that her giving me constant options makes this harder and more stressful. My brother screamed in my face for twenty minutes about how I am a selfish bitch and I just sobbed which made them both more upset because I was being self pitying or something. At this point I was just honestly begging them to tell me what I did wrong and what I should do as I was already in the car with the intention of remaining in the car until my mom was safe at home. Finally my mom told me that I never should have asked, that it was last minute and it wasn’t fair.
I’m 23 years old. I wasn’t asking for her permission, I make my own travel plans, I was just asking her what she needed, because it involved her, and then doing that. I can’t pretend to be bouncy happy about it but I’m also not planning to take it out on her. I’m sad, it’s been a month since I’ve seen the person I love and now it’s going to be another week. In the grand scheme of life it doesn’t matter, but I felt like it was reasonable for me to feel I disappointed for one day.
Am I the asshole for imposing on my family like this? Am I the asshole for asking? Or for being upset? I can’t think of what I did wrong but they are both so mad at me that it must’ve been something I’m not seeing. Any perspective is appreciated.
TL;DR I wanted to see my boyfriend in Ottawa on the way back from a family trip to Montreal, my mom didn’t want to drive by herself so I cancelled my plans but am still sad, and I just got mad at her for offering to help because I knew she was lying and I felt manipulated.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
QRxUzQdezB7CMqHxnc10BDvVM1VWIbXo
|
9x6c20
|
{
"description": "hanging out with a person one of my close friends hate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for hanging out with a person one of my close friends hate?
|
I will be regarding the person inviting me to the party as L
The person that hates L with be S
L has invited me to a party with some of her other friends. L and S were both best friends but now S hates L because of a "toxic relationship". I'm not really sure what went down but I want to stay out of it. I love S as a friend and I'm also having a fun time hanging out with L. If S finds out that I've been hanging out with L she will most likely flip out at me and stop hanging out with me, or just put me at a distance, which I don't want to happen.
WIBTA for hanging out with L
AND WIBTA for saying (to S) that even if you hate a person doesnt mean your friends can't hang out with them?
​
​
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
QiSa7FeTctj73kKOUesMWTIeFr1NGVTx
|
aqmo3t
|
{
"description": "not wanting my friend to use my computer",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I dont want my friend to use my computer?
|
I'm not the best with words but I'll try to explain this the best I can. I have a friend who I've known since summer of last year, and when he comes over to my house he likes to use my computer. I'm OCD about contamination (mostly things being greasy, sticky, slimy, etc.) And his hands are slightly greasy, so every time I use the computer after him I have to clean the keyboard, mouse, and other peripherals. Before this week, he had only ever been over on weekends, and Sunday of this week he wanted to use the computer to play games, which I said no to because the next morning I had to important school related things on it, and couldn't waste time cleaning everything. After I told him this, he started arguing non stop for the next 10 minutes, and even after explaining to him for the tenth time that I have OCD he refused to acknowledge it. After about 5 more minutes of arguing I said he could play the game with one of my xbox controllers to minimize the amount of grease that got on the keyboard and mouse, and he said that was fine. Then I go to the bathroom and come back and he is playing on the keyboard and mouse, controller completely untouched. I then confront him about it, and he brushes it off and ignores it, then stays over that night continuing to play the thing.
Fast forward to the next day I wake up and hes still on it playing the same game, and he continues to play for the entire day, not getting me get on to do my work for school. Later that night I eventually told him to fuck off and let me on the thing, and he did, but I dont know if it was the right thing to do.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aq3upb
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{
"description": "not wanting to pay for a driving lesson after a car switch",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA for not wanting to pay for a driving lesson after a car switch?
|
I’m learning to drive in the UK, I’ve had about ten hours, and I’m at a point where I stall maybe once in a two hour lesson, but I still make quite a few mistakes, but I’m not going to act like I’m a great driver, I’m just careful and slow. I had to cancel a week due to other business I had to do, so I had a gap week. He messages me saying if we are still on for Tuesday, I respond yeah. When the time comes he messages me 10 mins before the lesson start that he had to change out cars because a part of it is broken. Not really happy, as changing cars means I’ll have to spend some time getting used to the car (he told me a few weeks ago he is getting a new vehicle as his current one is on the end of it’s life), which will put me back a bit. Especially since I will have to learn this car, just to go back to the other one next week, then to another one in two weeks.
I’ve only driven his old car before, so everything is in a new place. The handbrake doesn’t go down very far, the gearstick is at an angle which makes it look like it’s in gear 3 when it is actually in neutral, and the seat/wheel location is different, so It is harder to adjust to a good position. I know when I start driving for myself, I’ll have to get used to another car, so I wasn’t too annoyed.
The real problem is when I go to start it. He tells me it’s a diesel so I’ll have to do some things differently, I can’t feel the breaking point on the clutch, I can only just about hear the difference in the engine. I try to get the breaking point, put on some gas, I do my mirror check, release the handbrake and the car starts zooming forward, with him stopping uncomfortably close to another car. He reverses, I try again, same thing happens but I turn so I just continue. Normally in his other car I do the same thing, and the car doesn’t move until I lift the clutch up.
I drive around the block twice, the whole time saying I don’t like this car at all. Driving around in gear 1 feels different, I let go of the accelerator and the car doesn’t seem to slow down in the slightest, I try to do some break, and the car barley cares. It’s like instead of having to do a lot of acceleration, and a little brake, I now have to do a little of acceleration and a lot of brake. It’s like even though the car isn’t much bigger than the other one, it’s feels like I’m driving a much bigger, more powerful one. At one point he shouted for me to take my foot off the accelerator when a car was approaching, when in fact my foot was on the break, applying as much break as I’d do in the other car to slow down.
After we stop he says he’ll have to charge for an hour (Originally a two hour session, and we drove for 10-20 minutes, only because he kept insisting that I’d get used to it), I argue that if he knew his car had broken down on Monday and didn’t tell be until 10 minutes before the lesson (it was Tuesday, and I assume it was the previous Monday as otherwise he would have said yesterday), there was no point having to learn how to drive another car when I’d be back in the other one next week, then in a new one in a few more weeks (It felt like I’m back where I started in my first lesson), and that It’s unfair to expect a learner to go from petrol to diesel for two hours then back.
He caves, says he’s going to file a complaint with the car replacement company as apparently, I’m not the only one, and having this diesel car is costing him his business. I feel bad, because it would be costing him money, but at the same time, driving isn’t cheap, and it felt like he was trying to take advantage of me. He knew I wasn’t happy about having to change from his old petrol car to his new petrol car, and it felt like he didn’t tell me until 10 minutes before the lesson so I wouldn’t have time to say something about it (not even mentioning that it was a diesel car until I got in as well), then tried to convince me that It’s not that bad. It’d probably be easier if I started with it, as it seems like swapping gear changing is easier, but not easier when I have to relearn the car then swap back next lesson.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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a6nvz4
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{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to go to bed a little earlier than she has been",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my girlfriend to go to bed a little earlier than she has been
|
My girlfriend has a habit of staying up and watching the office till 1 in the morning. She typically has to wake up pretty early in the morning every weekday (5am). I care about her a lot and i'm worried it's gonna start affecting her over all well being. does that make me an asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "going annoyed at my mom's behavior",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
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AITA for going annoyed at my mom’s behavior?
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For Christmas this year I went home to see my family. One of our big traditions is we always go and see a movie on Christmas Day. This year we decided to go see Mary Poppins Returns. I decided to be nice and I bought the tickets for everyone who wanted to go. We get to the Theatre and everyone is pretty excited. I’m sitting next to my mom and the aisle because the theatre was packed.
I loved the movie right away and was into it the whole time but every time I would look at my mom she looked so bored. I didn’t really think anything of it till halfway through when I hear this loud crunching noise. I look over and she is chomping her ice extremely loud. I whisper to her if she is really doing that and she says “I need some way to stay awake during this boring movie”. I was never bored so I decided to ignore her but she kept doing it. At this point I was getting annoyed because everyone else around us didn’t deserve this. She then made a snoring noise and I was so embarrassed.
The movie eventually ended and I thought it was great. Everyone else in my family did as well. We leave the theatre and in the car home my mom decides that she should give me a lecture about my “rude” behavior.
Now I’m an adult so I stood up for myself and said that her behavior was not appropriate for a quiet movie theatre. She didn’t like that and gave me a lecture about how I need to respect her more and how she’s my mom so I need to listen to her.
My question is AITA? Was her behavior actually okay?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling my friend that his girlfriend cheated in a past relationship and she lied about being a virgin",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA because I told my friend that his girlfriend cheated in a past relationship and she lied about being a virgin?
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My Friend "Dan" got into his first serious relationship 5 months ago, (his first relationship in years) at college, and ever since we only see him when he's going to bed. She has also one by one decided she hates me and my other 2 roommates and now we rarely see him unless she's busy. I remember months ago when he happily told me he took her virginity and they're all of a sudden into a bunch of kinky sex and shit, and he's super in love with her, and she will give him head like twice a day all the time.
Today my friend Jack, who lives in another apartment told me about his roommate, Matt, who is Dan's girlfriend's ex. He said that she alienated him from his friends, and they had sex all the time, and the relationship ended when she cheated on him.
I told him the night I heard this, because my conscience would't let me just sit on that when he didn't know. So I brought him into a side room and let him know everything I heard, and that I wasn't accusing her of anything, but telling him exactly what I heard from her ex and he can make a judgement. He thanked me and seemed really appreciative and said "Thank you, I don't want to date a liar". And I reassured him that I would find more out before he goes doing anything.
He ran downstairs to talk to her, they started arguing, and 30 minutes later I get a text. "Don't interfere with our relationship. It's none of your business." And something along the lines of "Why are you trying to hurt our relationship".
At the top of the stairs he said "I don't want to date a liar" and at the bottom of the stairs he said "Why are you trying to interfere in our relationship". ???
Am I an asshole for telling him this? Or is my suspicion that she's manipulating him valid? This is just really bothering me. Also, was it in my right to tell him?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "asking girls two questions during first date",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for asking girls two questions during first date
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I have been meeting girls from tinder for the past few months and I been having some luck when it comes to landind a first date. There’s provably a better way for me to ask the following questions, 1. “ Do you have kids?” And 2. “ Do you have herpes?”
What I do is that when we are on a date, let’s say a pub and we chat, within an hour I say “I’m having a good time but I got to ask you something” and then I drop them the “Do you have kids?” And “Do you have herpes?” questions. Half the girls laugh about it and say no, but other girls call me an asshole for asking that.
Children and Herpes are my deal breakers, I am in my late 20s and I’m not interested in single mothers. I’m also not interested in contracting herpes, HSV1 nor HSV2. I have been having protected sex since I started being sexually active, and I get tested very often so I know that I don’t carry the virus. Even though some STDs test don’t test for herpes, I still get a herpes test done on top of it. I know lots of people have it, but I don’t want to have it, orally nor genital. Unprotected sex is something I look forward in a long term relationship.
So, AITA for being straightforward and asking that during a first date? And is there a better way for me to ask those questions?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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9v7n3t
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{
"description": "refusing to sign a contract with ridiculous expectations and request",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to sign a contract with ridiculous expectations and request?
|
I recently moved counties and started looking for jobs straight away. I got my first interview about a week after I handed my resume in. It was for a position at a local grocery store in the bakery. It went really well and I started training the next day. Within two days I was pretty much fully trained, fully integrated into the stores system, and getting along really well with my other employees. I received the contract and made sure to read through it thoroughly, because I’ve been caught out before in clauses that I didn’t read and came back to bite me in the ass. What I read was pretty ridiculous to me.
Hidden through the usual mumbo-jumbo was a wage that was lower than my countries standard minimum wage, Saturday and Sunday permanent shifts which started at 6am and finished at 4pm, with no flexibility on changing the shifts, no weekend penalty rates and a ban on requesting any time off during the holiday period (I understand that last one is pretty normal, but still kinda stupid for a big grocery chain with hundreds of employees, to me, anyways) I almost signed away every single one of my Saturdays and Sundays for a below minimum wage job, with no penalties and no flexibility whatsoever in changing the shifts at all.
I asked my boss if there was any way this could be changed. Whether there was a possibility of me working one day during the weekend and one day during the week, (I knew for a fact that they were also hiring two other employees for the bakery so I didn’t see an issue in one of them working the one day and I worked the other) He said there was no flexibility in changing the hours and I alone had to work both shifts, also he stated that there was absolutely no chance of penalty rates or a higher pay and stated that I had accepted these terms in the interview (which I absolutely did not, no sane person would)*
I refused to sign the contract without better incentive to give up my weekends and time with family and friends, and the boss fired me on the spot and called me a liar.
AITA? I’m about 99% sure I’m not, but I’m still feeling guilty about it.
*During the interview he asked if I was available to work weekends, which I said yes. He did not state in any way that I would be working weekends alone, without weekend penalty rates, with no chance of any other shifts at all.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ar9cvh
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{
"description": "not buying my ex-friend food which ended up breaking up the friend group",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not buying my ex-friend food which ended up breaking up the friend group?
|
This is a past incident but I am curious what you all think about it. This is high school.
So I was very much a quiet follower type raised in an upper middle class family. I had two best friends, queen bees who I will call S and L. L is in the same economic bracket but stingy. She rarely paid for anything. S was lower middle class bordering poor. She didn't have a lot of funds to spend.
Now every week there was a multicultural food event where we had a large variety of desserts, food and etc. I usually pitched in for buying food since I like food and it had cheap multi food deals.
But this time I wanted to save money. I had no plans to really buy anything. I tell S this and she blows up. Saying I owed her for all the times she shared her lunch box cheese with me when we walked home.
Incidentally she said she didn't like it and she had to finish her lunch boxes or her parents would yell at her. So it wasn't taking food from her but giving me the discards while she ate the crackers and meat part of this premade food.
I yelled back this and how I didn't owe her anything. I stomped off and she proceeded to not be friends with me anymore. My other friend, L, told me I should just apologize to keep the peace and that I should have paid since it wasn't a big deal.
I felt used though and like S took me for granted at that moment. So I didn't apologize. But because of L's words and the fact I do think S would have forgave me if I apologized. If I simply bought the food for S....
AITA for not buying S that food and yelling back at her? Bonus question. Should I have apologized to her?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6nttt
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{
"description": "not accepting that she's meeting her Ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not accepting that she's meeting her Ex?
|
Throwaway of course.
So the Title already makes everyone say run away but there are some weird circumstances.
We have a long-distance relationship, about a 4 hour drive. Hard or impossible to be spontaneous with our Jobs. She has mental health problems, she can't even leave her apartment alone to get groceries. If she's feeling lonely she gets depressed.
She absolutely loves me, she doesn't touch him. He's just in her life to help her getting groceries, driving her around and so she doesn't feel lonely as long as I'm not there.
She knows he still has feelings for her and she always has to deny him if he wants to make a move. But she still invites him to watch movies together but he never sleeps over. I absolutely trust her but it feels horrible. If I'm around she absolutely ignores him and is out of her life. But as soon as I'm gone she starts getting depressed and calls him. And when he's there she turns off her phone so she "doesn't hurt him when another guy is calling."
Now she has zero friends, Family isn't there for her. He's the only contact she has besides me and she says it's just to not feel lonely. She literally wouldn't leave her apartment for days without him. And I cannot be there for her everyday because of the distance.
They were together for 8 years. And we're together for one year with him almost always present somehow but there's nothing happening between them. She treats him like a friend, nothing more. It still feels all wrong for me and everyone told me to let go. What makes me stay is she straight up tells him she has no feelings for him and she tells him we're together and are sleeping together, which he doesn't seem to care about. So the situation is very clear here. I also talked with him about it and he confirmed this, which he had no reason to if he wants to get rid of me. But he still thinks they're getting back together and is badmouthing me whenever possible.
Am I the asshole for not wanting her to meet him? Which ultimately means she is "alone", I'm talking to her on the phone for hours every day, working overtime to meet her as much as possible, I see her 3-4 days a week. but that doesn't seem to be enough. I planned to move in together and leave my family behind but it stings and I'm not convinced she stops seeing him. I can't help her getting groceries or getting to leave her apartment. But I also told her she doesn't need an ex, she needs a caregiver.
​
TL;DR Depressed long-distance GF meets her Ex because it's her only contact in life and otherwise wouldn't leave her apartment for days. I'm there whenever possible, minimum 3 days/week. I want her to cut contact.
​
​
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aw6zxz
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{
"description": "making an exception to our Lost and Found policy",
"pronormative_score": 58,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For Making An Exception To Our Lost And Found Policy?
|
For context: So at work we have a policy, if something is in the lost and found for longer than a month than the person who found the item can keep it. I'd say a solid 90% of the time the lost and found is client stuff, but there is the odd occasion an employee's item gets in there. I'm the IT guy and I have someone who works under me.
We have a receptionist who was on mat leave and took 8 weeks off. During this time the guy who works under me found a power bank (Anker PowerCore 2680) which is not a cheap one either ($65). He was giddy about finding it and was all about it. So I said, sure if no one shows up to claim it in a month you can have it.
Well no one does, so I let him have it. Then 3 weeks later the receptionist returns from mat leave. She asks about the power bank and says she was looking for it and couldn't find it. Gave the right model and all that and showed me the Amazon receipt so I knew it was legit. Thing is though, I told the employee he could have it. So I tell her this and the policy is clear. Still, she gets all weepy, and maybe it's pregnancy hormones, maybe it's more. I guess I felt bad so I told her I would see what I could do.
I tell all of this to my employee and he is furious. He tells me he waited the month and followed the rules, and tells me that the power bank is his. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I ultimately decide that since she was the original owner and she couldn't claim it earlier due to being out of the office, I make an exception and take back the power bank and give it to her.
Now he's pouting around. I understand it sucks. He didn't do anything wrong and this has never happened. I'm going to amend the policy with HR to better define that if it's an employee item then it goes back to the original owner. So we won't have a squabble like this. Still, I have caught myself asking myself if I was the asshole here. This was a lose-lose situation in my opinion regardless as someone was going to walk away dissapointed.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b6fobc
| null |
AITA My boyfriend and I just got into a fight about not having sex tonight and I'm angry.
|
TLDR: I'm upset because I haven't had sex in 3 days and my boyfriend may have been faking a toothache so he didn't have to do it, so we got into an argument.
So, here's the background information, my boyfriend and I are hitting a rough patch with sex. Like, meaning he's refusing to have sex with me. We had an STD scare for about a week so we haven't been able to have sex but he's been teasing me all week. Finally my results came in and I got dressed up in lingerie and cleaned up the room in it, he was working me up and promising me that I'll get it tonight and everything. I was hella excited because my confidence was already riding high from a new hair cut and I dyed it and it looks really good and I crave the intimacy with him badly. Well, he started getting all weird and prolonging it... Saying "I wanna take a shower," and then suddenly he just started (with somewhat overreaction really) screaming in pain that his tooth hurt. He's had problems with this toothache before but atm he's saying he's in unbearable pain in the calmest tone. I almost think he's faking it, or at the very least overplaying it, just to get out of having sex with me. So I got offended and got upset. I practically begged him to have sex with me because I feel kind of insecure that he's not attracted to me anymore and have been feeling this way for a couple months. Anyway, the fight ended with him telling me that I should leave and go hang out with some other dude over and over again after I told him a million times I don't want just the sex aspect of it, I want the intimacy with the man I love. It's more about the emotion and making love aspect than the physical horniness that I want. So, am I in the wrong for being upset that he doesn't want to do anything with me tonight?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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|
b6mgal
|
{
"description": "being short/not socializing with my classmate",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being short/not socializing with my classmate?
|
Yesterday I started a new course at university. Another woman in my class, whom I don't really like, picked the same class. The reason I don't like her is that I have friends who work at our uni department and I know that she's treated them very badly, however I don't have a personal issue with her and we've never had any conflict between us directly. I've never said anything rude to her and vice versa.
Anyway, this woman recognised me and sat next to me during our first class. I answered her questions but I didn't really do anything to drive the conversation forward. While the teacher was talking she would also continously poke me to ask what he said/meant etc., which I found annoying because I get very distracted by stuff like that. So eventually I just started saying "I don't know" to everything. During the breaks I'd also leave the classroom without talking to her. Later during class she asked for my number so she could ask me questions if she didn't understand something and I kinda just diverted from the subject, since I didn't want to give her my number. About 30 minutes later she puts her phone in front of me for me to write my number. I still didn't want to but I also didn't want to outright refuse, so I gave her my number and then looked at the front (because the teacher was talking.)
Didn't think much of it but today before class this woman confronted me for "how I was behaving." She said she was upset that I hadn't helped her during class and that she felt like I didn't want to give her my phone number. She had seen on my computer screen that I had written down things that I'd told her that I didn't know.. She said that I have a very "hard personality" and that I'm someone who picks and chooses who I want to help and be friends with. Honestly I got pretty suprised by all this because I kinda expected her to take the hint and leave me alone. Now I'm thinking that maybe I'm just a very insensitive person. I know I can come off as pretty cold and that I don't smile very often when I'm talking to someone I'm not interested in. I'm also a very introverted person so sometimes I might underestimate how important social interaction is for others.
I'm not sure whether I should apologise or not (partly because I don't want there to be an hostile enviroment in our classroom.) When she confronted me I basically just said "okay", which I realize can be seen as kinda nonchalant.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a6yddx
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{
"description": "being upset that all my friends are having sex with each other",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for being upset that all my friends are having sex with each other?
|
Hello, all. So, for context, I [22F] have a small group of three other friends [23F, 22M, 21F] to whom I have grown close with over this past year. As someone who has pathetically struggled to make and retain close relationships this is a big deal. The other three have always been more open emotionally and physically than me, and I've alwyas enjoyed this as a welcome balance. However, the events of late have me feeling that this has gone too far.
Last week [23F], under the influence of alcohol, tells me that she and [22M] casually had sex a number of times. [21F] and [23F] have also made playful passes at each other and made out. Then, yesterday I found out through snapchat of all things that [22M] and [21F] have now also hooked up.
I've always been pretty reserved (read: virgin), and dislike touching and cuddling, etc. I have no interest in joining their sexcapades or telling anyone who they should or shouldn't sleep with. But, Reddit, am I being a prude asshole for being upset that what I thought of as a close friend group is being turned into something else?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b5kzy3
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{
"description": "not spending time with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not spending time with my girlfriend?
|
About 6 months ago I 22M) met and started dating my girlfriend (21F). Sadly its a long distance relationship, about 6 hour plane ride away from each other, but we make it work and I even visited her once. I work full time and she's unemployed, she also demands a lot of attention, which im usually okay with but sometimes it can get on my nerves a bit. She will throw tantrums and get mad at me for being with my friends or my family for a few hours during a day off. I love spending time with her, and when given the option that's always what I would rather do, but sometimes i want to do other things and it makes her so mad.
​
She has diagnosed depression and social anxiety, a history of being used and betrayed by her friends, and a family who, while not being that terrible, dont really support her in her issues. For all these reasons I always try to be patient and understandable to her, she's just really attached to me it's fine right? But sometimes all this attachment gets to me, because its almost a crime and a proof of "unlove" spending time with people that arent her, even if its just a few hours.
​
Last time this happened was today. It's my two days off, so as usual I planned to spend it with her. My family (who I also dont spend a lot of time with) wanted to watch a movie in theaters, (I work at a movie theater so I have free tickets every week) so they asked me if I could arrange something. I thought "sure no problem, couple hours with my family is no big deal", boy was I wrong. As soon as I told her, her first reaction was to go completely silent on me, it was like talking to a wall, which is extremely ironic coming from her, considering she hates being ignored and if i take more than 5 minutes to asnwer a text, or dont answer a question during a voice call (usually because something is loud and i didnt hear it) she will get super mad and assume im ignoring her. After about an hour of me trying to apologize for spending some time with my family, saying that I would rather be with her and all other kinds of excuses, i cracked and said something like "why is it that no matter how much time I spend with you, its never enough?", she just hung up on me. I know it was probably a mean thing to say but this argument happens so often, I just get so mad/sad and this time i just blew up. The argument continued on message but not much different. Me asking why is it that spending all my free time before/after work and my lunch break with her isnt enough, and her saying "Im sorry I want to spend time with my boyfriend" and complaining that some of the time we spend together is sleeping, or "Im sorry for feeling sad, ill just feel nothing.
​
So i dont know, maybe im being unreasonable and i should be more understanding of her issues, maybe she's the one being unreasonable. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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9wmast
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{
"description": "taking my kids from their mom",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA, I took my kids from their mom
|
AITA, I took my kids from their mom. She has 2 hours per week with them. They are 5 & 1. She's a crack and heroin addict that's been trying to get clean for 3 years. Off & on, balls to the wall when ON. She keeps slipping up every 4 or 5 months. She's tried it all from residential programs to just cheating on the court ordered urine tests. I don't allow ANY phone calls to the kids, I don't reply to her texts unless it's about the time for the visit, I shut almost all of her family out. They can see them on her visitation time. I have valid reasons.... but AITA, or just a dad sick of the shit trying to keep his kids safe?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b311tw
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{
"description": "not wanting to go through with my husbands ultimatum for a reward",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go through with my husbands ultimatum for a reward?
|
Long story short: I have body insecurities. I am currently working on those by working out. I asked my husband to give me an incentive.
He told me that he would pay for me to get a tattoo if I worked out long enough. I asked him how long, and he told me as soon as I'm comfortable enough to wear a bikini to the beach, then he would pay for the tattoo.
I agreed, but asked if I could wear a pair of short shorts or a mini skirt to cover the horrendous razor bumps I get when I shave. I am extremely sensitive. I can't wax, I can't use Nair (they burn my skin), so I'm stuck with shaving. I've tried all of the tricks, believe me. Nothing helps.
He said no. I either go out with nothing but a bikini on, or get nothing for a reward. I don't think this is ok. He is willing to humiliate me in front of thousands of people just so he gets the satisfaction of finally dragging me out in a bikini (a long standing issue that he has wanted resolved) and refuses to compromise.
I am willing to show off my stretch marks, my imperfect skin, and all of my other insecurities, except the razor bumps...which look absolutely terrible. He won't budge. His reason? I shouldn't give a damn about what people think. He doesn't, so why do I? I have changed my personality a lot for my huaband through this marriage, but this is the line I refuse to cross. I am not willing to humiliate myself, make myself so insecure I cry, and force myself back into a depression just because I want my reward.
He thinks I'm being ridiculous and should just get over it if I want my reward. I think he is trying to put too much on me along with his refusal to my small compromise.
AITA for not wanting to go past the boundary of my comfort zone for a reward he's willing to give me in trade?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aw5p4s
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{
"description": "licking my food that I know my roommates been eating",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for licking my food that I know my roommates been eating.
|
I have 2 roommates one of themselves fine but the others a terrible roommate in a lot of ways. The shitty roommate has been eating my food and isn't even subtle about it. He drank half a carton of milk and put the carton back. I put a thing of apples and a thing of oranges in my fridge and forgot for 3 days when I came back there were to loose apples (no bag) and no oranges. Multiple people have told me I should just say something and I'm an asshole for licking my food. I know it's petty but it's my food and shouldn't affect him if he weren't stealing it. So am I the asshole
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b2eeux
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{
"description": "giving away my ex's tv",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for giving away my ex's tv?
|
So me and my gf at the time had been together for about 2 months. Around this time I was moving places and had very few belongings (just the stuff i used regularly). She insisted I took her 45inch TV that he hadnt been using for years and bought 8 years ago. I kindly rejected the offer several times knowing I wouldn't use it as I never watch tv/movies but shes the type that doesn't take no for an answer so eventually I moved it into my house. About 1 month later we broke up and broke off any contact we had with each other. Fast forward 4 months and she randomly texted me one night asking if she could pick up her TV the following day to which I told her I gave away to someone online who would actually use it. She was surprised and proceeded to claim that I owe her $1200 for the TV(the price she bought it for 8 years ago). I told her that the tv was worth no more than $100 and that she shouldn't be surprised I gave it to someone else because I told her I would never use it and she basically forced me to take it from her in the first place.
TLDR; ex gf of 3 months texts me 4 months after break up to get back her TV that she forcibly gifted to me. I told her that I gave it away and she claims I owe her $1200 for what the TV was worth when she bought it 8 years ago.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "offering a friend a tickt to a place, but being a lower ticket than my own",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I offer a friend a tickt to a place, but it’s a lower ticket than my own?
|
I bought a lollapalooza ticket for myself, it was the cheapest one. I was thinking, if in a couple months I’m in a better financial standing maybe I’ll get myself the more expensive and nicer ticket, and then give the one I already bought to an aquaintance to bring along. But is it an asshole move to ask someone to come to an event with you and even give them the ticket for free just bc you want to, but the ticket you give them is lower in class than the one you have, so it’s like saying “Come with me, but you’ll be able to do way less stuff than me”
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "spamming a hacker",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for spamming a hacker?
|
First post so be patient pls.
​
I have two groups of friends and with the first group we all chipped in around 10 euros a month for a minecraft server. However recently we got hacked by 3 players and one guy left his IP address so we found his facebook page. Now I wanted to make sure it was him and make accounts to text him and confirm it (He's 16). I wanted to spam him by calling him a hacker but I got blocked. I told my second friend group about it and everyone was fine with it except for 2 people. They got mad at me saying he's just a boy and it's just a minecraft server and all that. They called me a huge asshole for doing this. However I feel that what he did was wrong, not just that it's a minecraft server but intention of hacking and ruining something. I would've been mad even if it was my email or facebook but I feel like because it is minecraft they take it less seriously. He did something wrong and deserves these consequences.
​
So reddit AITA?
(I am not looking for validation but want to know if what I did was wrong)
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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as965m
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{
"description": "not telling my girlfriend I had sex with a friend before we met",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not telling my girlfriend I had sex with a friend before we met.
|
I have this relatively close friend of mine who I’ve known for almost 4 years now, let’s call her Alice. We hang out quite a lot together and have mutual friends. Me and Alice got really wasted once and had sex (summer -17). We both decided that this isn’t going to happen again and didn’t mean anything for either of us and that we shouldn’t tell people.
​
In comes my girlfriend, a wonderful girl who I met over Bumble in the beginning of last summer, we can call her Sophia. Sophia and Alice met each other a couple of times, mainly at some beach-parties and such. My girlfriend thought something was going on between me and Alice, which I denied since we (me and Alice) had agreed to not talk about it and I didn’t know where it was going with her.
​
Sophia couldn’t really let go of the feeling that me and Alice “had something” so sometimes she brought it up and I kept denying it. I started to feel that I wanted to be 100% honest with Sophia as our relationship became boyfriend-girlfriend and I felt that I could trust her, so I decided to tell her. This was about 2 months after we met (so the end of the summer -18).
​
I told her that me and Alice had sex, it happened once, didn’t mean anything. She got really upset (understandably) and left. I gave her some time but eventually we met up and she told me she got really hurt that I had lied to her. We decided to keep the relationship going but since then it has been unsteady and Sophia still uses “the lie” and says she can’t trust me, demands to know exactly everything if I run into Alice (small town), what we talk about and so on. And reluctantly let me meet up with my friends if Alice is with them. Makes me feel like the AH.
**TL;DR Didn’t disclose to my girlfriend in the beginning of our relation that me and my friend had sex over a year ago.**
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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9vfyg1
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{
"description": "wanting him to be AIDS tested",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting him to be AIDS tested ?
|
Long story short, met a new guy, like him alot, he's from Zambia, has been here in Australia for ten years, he goes home to visit his family every few years.
He tells me his brothers have had children with girlfriends/ wives who have died from HIV or AIDS defining illnesses.
And his brothers still test negative, his conclusion is that he has a gene which makes him and his brothers immune to AIDs. AITA for wanting him to be tested?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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X0QcbOwxipJDl2PrAYQizyJVeGGoREZP
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ar9zxf
|
{
"description": "being upset with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset with my ex? (I promise it's more interesting than it sounds)
|
Super detailed title, I know. I wouldn't know how to word it well enough, given the context.
​
Alright so basically two weeks ago, this girl (18F) and I (19M) broke up after almost a year of being together. She said that there could be a future for us, but for now she needed time to herself. Understandable. I respected it. We talked for a few days checking on each other and then took a break for the next few days until we were ready to talk as friends.
​
During this time frame, she started to act super weird. Sending multiple messages when I wasn't responding, sending hearts on occasion, sending me memes constantly. I usually would say goodnight every night. For 2 days, I went radio silent because I just didn't want to overwhelm either of us. The 2nd day of this radio silence was valentine's day. So she sent me "Just wanted to say happy valentines day!" which threw me off completely.
​
All these signs were giving me false hope that we were gonna get back together, or at least that she was considering it.
​
The next day I was visiting home from school, so we decide to meet up at our usual spot where I'd pick her up from her school to give each other our things.
​
Here's why I got mad.
​
After about a week of fucking with my head, giving me mixed signals, she walks up to my car with her friend, barely gets in, she's got one leg in and one leg out, says, "how are you doing? because I know I'M doing well." And here's where I start to feel guilty for being mad. She told me that the night before, her middle school band director passed away, and she loved they guy. He inspired her to want to be a band director as well. After that she asked me if I had anything else to say, I told her we'd have to sit down somewhere and talk. She says "ok" and then leaves.
​
The more the conversation sat with me the more I got angry. But then she texted me that she was sorry she didn't say much because she was just super emotional, which I get. But I still can't help but be upset with her.
​
So then I texted her saying I might need some more time before her and I can truly be friends. I just realized that I was more upset than I led on.
TL;DR my ex gave me mixed signals only to disappoint me with the worst 5 minute meet up of my life.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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au9ntg
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{
"description": "slamming a car door a few times",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for slamming a car door a few times?
|
This happened three weeks ago, and was almost the final straw in a weakening friendship with a best friend.
Him, another best friend that we made our freshman year, and I went on an adventure to a lake. He offered to drive us. His car is fairly old, and has definitely seen better days when its parts were newer. I am one to try to slam the car door, to ensure it is closed. He asked me to be more gentle with closing his car door and to not slam it. He said that I have apparently been told this before by him on one or two occasions. I honestly do not remember being told this, but I'll take his word for it. I brush it off and don't think too much of it.
We made a few extra stops before arriving at the lake. The second time we get out is where I mess up. I absent-mindedly slam his car door again, and I get called out. I apologize and tell him that I will try to be better about it. He asks how I would like it if he slammed my car door. I told him that I wouldn't care much as long as it didn't break anything.
The adventure continues, and it was fun. We get in and out of the car a few more times (~8), and I do make a conscious effort to try to be more gentle with closing his door. Finally, we arrive where I live, so he can drop me off. However, on the last time that we exit his car, I accidentally slam it. The friend doesn't say anything. Wr go up to my room to hang out for a bit. I open the door to my room, and my friend beeline for my desk. He starts opening and closing one of my desk drawers repeatedly with enough force to break it while looking at and smiling at me. I was in shock. It took a few seconds before I told him to stop and put my leg in front of the drawer to prevent him from opening it. My friend is bigger than me, and easily me out of the way, and continued breaking my drawer. He told me to ask him to stop. I did, and he kept going. I asked again, and he finally stopped after be had broke the drawer by ripping the front of it off, and then laughed at what he had done.
I was furious at this point, and he told me that that is what I deserved for slamming his doors and that what I was doing was causing damage to it. I argued about how what I did paled in comparison to what he had just done. I said that what I was doing was causing either normal wear or slightly above normal wear. He told me to look up the how slamming car doors is bad for the car. The results I found leaned towards slamming being either neutral or does cause damage over time (which is about what I thought). He used the argument that intent has no impact on something, only the end result. I feel like what I did was out of instinct (albeit not a great one) and overall good intention (making sure the door was securely closed, rather than potentially open), whereas his intention to teach me a lesson felt out of spite and malice.
In the end, unless I was not told something, his car door works just as fine as before.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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0opWRHD4015KBJKkjYMSehXrTssAKTjS
|
avwnj0
|
{
"description": "insisting my roommate investigate the electric bill she's responsible for before I pay my share",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for insisting my roommate investigate the electric bill she's responsible for before I pay my share?
|
In my (32f) defense, my roommate (32f) just hit me up for $86 for our electric bill that she says is due 3/2. In two days. She is in charge of the electric bill, and I'm in charge of cable/internet, we don't pay for heat. She also sends the rent check because I don't have a check book.
I freaked out and insisted she investigate because:
A) I JUST paid her $30 on February 16th for the electric
B) Why would it double in two weeks/why is the due date now on the 2nd of the month?
C) I just transferred her rent money and am scrambling to find this extra money in my budget, especially when she says it's due in two days.
​
She says that I can call them if I want but doesn't remember the password for the account and isn't able to send me the bill because she's driving. She is now pissed at me for requesting the bill and has sent me the following messages,
"Just pay me the money and I'll see what's going on"
"I'm not having a late bill on my account because you wont pay me"
"You just said you have so much more money now" (This is in response to me telling her I got a raise but it goes into effect next paycheck)
"Ok I'll fucking pay your half then and have less money for my trip, thanks boo"
"I'm not getting bills, we're lucky I looked at the account"
"You questioning me is doing nothing but pissing me off, its not helping, be an adult and fucking get it done"
​
Am I an asshole for insisting she call them and check it out before I transfer her this money?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
9vp6qj
|
{
"description": "asking my boyfriend to come to bed with me once or twice a week",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend to come to bed with me once or twice a week?
|
We've been together for five years and lived together for the majority of the time. Two years ago though, for a year, we lived separately and in different states. Just over a year ago, we moved back in together after our bout of long distance.
​
He's never been very affectionate and it doesn't bother me usually. I've gotten used to it and not in a bad way that I'm bitter over it. Different people, different strokes. And he has always stayed up late most nights to play video games. He still always made it a point to come to bed with me at least once or twice a night.
​
Anyways, since we've moved back in together, I have to beg for him to come to bed with me. Its been two weeks since he's come to bed with me. The past three nights I've talked to him about it about an hour before I go to bed, and he has agreed all three nights to come to bed with me, and then when midnight rolls around, he has something to do, or he just isn't tired enough to even think about going to bed.
​
So this morning, I tried to talk to him about it a little bit before we went into work, and he basically said I'm not taking into consideration his needs and wants. I feel like I am, by not complaining constantly that he doesn't come to bed with me. I feel like he's not taking into consideration what I want and need. So, Reddit, do I need to check myself and not be such an asshole about him coming to bed with me?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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axqjxj
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{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to use my food to feed her friends",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to use my food to feed her friends?
|
A few days ago, my girlfriend hosted a brunch day for her and her friends at our house. My girlfriend bought some food and wine so they could make a whole event out of it.
I don't have a lot of spare money and so what I spend on food is usually all I have. Usually what I buy, I have to make last until the next payday. Each meal is calculated and planned for my work lunches.
After work I was at the gym and I receive a text from my girlfriend asking if she could cook some of my chicken breasts that I set aside for my lunches because her friends were hungry and specifically wanted the chicken. I replied with, "I'd prefer if you didn't. Can you use the pork instead?" She didn't like this response and proceeded to say "No its fine, I told them you said no...thanks." Knowing my girlfriend and how she can be sometimes, I tried to call her and work through the issue. She was still mad and I was at the gym so I gave up. She kept calling me back and I did eventually realize that I had some extra chicken (a decent amount) in the freezer which I told her I forgot about and I would be more than happy to let her use it. This particular chicken was what she had wanted to use in the first place but I confused it with the chicken I set out for my lunches.
This still didn't make her happy and by the time I got home, our other roommate defrosted some of her own chicken so my girlfriend could use it. My girlfriends argument was that I should have not said no to begin with and should have just let her take it; she stated she would have given me money to buy more or gone out and bought more herself. This last statement was hard to believe as the next two proceeding days she works nights and wouldn't have time. She stated that if my friends came over she would give them whatever they wanted and tried to be a good host and person.
Regardless I didn't feel as if I acted out of line asking if she could use the pork instead and once I realized my mistake I thought I corrected myself and gave her what she wanted. It all culminated with her saying I am inconsiderate, mean, and so forth.
Thanks for the read and help.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9u1ybp
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{
"description": "not wanting to hear about my friends sex life",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hear about my friends sex life?
|
I'm not a prude by any means, but I swear this girl doesn't understand that sometimes too much information is, well, exactly that.
I don't want to hear about how horrible your fwb is in bed, or how you cheated on him when you two were actually dating, or about how you plan on continuing to bang with the guy you cheated with even after he gets married, AND that you plan to sleep with this other guy who is engaged.
Maybe I am an asshole, but I feel like that's just too much information to be dumping on a person all at once - I'm serious, this took place in the span of maybe an hour. I was speechless too say the least, and she got really mad when I told her I was disappointed in her for cheating, and that the conversation made me uncomfortable and irritated.
I am stressed and this has been eating at me since this whole fiasco started back in December.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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nq1ednnEHYtja0UJwXswZf8UVsNUruK7
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a94pzk
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{
"description": "being upset and disappointed about the change of house rules",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for being upset and disappointed about the change of house rules?
|
For the start I have two sisters. One is 29 and the seconds 16 years old. I am 25.
Its holiday season and I am visiting my parents. They have some house rules. For example no boy or girlfriend should stay at my parents home after 12. No sleeping over at boy or girlfriends house till you are 18.
And what do I hear after coming home. Yeah my little sister is sleeping at her boyfriend's home. The day after that her boyfriend visits my sister till 4 o'clock in the morning.
After asking my parents about the change of house laws and why? My father lost his shit and talks nonsense. She is a girl you are a boy. She has a vagina, you have a penis.
Whatever old man. So I left the room. My mum said after that, times are changing, so are the rules. We love everybody the same.
I can understand that some rules change. More money, cause inflation. A Mobil phone for my little sister with a contract, because it's cheaper.
But!!!! For at least 10 years I heard the same answer to at least a few hundred questions about parenting.
We raised your older sisters with these rules, so the same rules apply to you.
Now I am totally pissed. I am hurt. AITA for being hurt, upset, pissed?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
k5TvCq3p2HMZHKOqRJAVDzs8oMTFGFtA
|
a7jvjp
|
{
"description": "stopping sex in the middle of it",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for stopping sex in the middle of it?
|
So a little backstory, I’ve(23 m) seen this girl(25) around town and we matched on tinder. After we match we exchanged numbers and we began texting. She invited me to sleep over but I work over nights at a treatment center where I sleep at work. Today, she asked me what I was doing and invited me over. We talked for awhile because she’s going through some trauma and is using her body to validate herself. After some hooking up, I asked for consent and she said “fuck me”. While we were having sex I started to think about what she had said and felt really guilty. I stopped, and told her I felt guilty and did not want to continue. She took it super hard and we talked and I said it’s because I respect her and want to further our relationship before we start having sex. She basically told me she felt rejected and wanted me to leave. I left and sent her a text that she didn’t do anything wrong and it was out of respect. Am I the asshole?
TL;DR stopped having sex in the middle of sex and the girl took it super hard and felt rejected. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
4xVvu3mYLdnCiF0EsnP2iZiRN5914Afi
|
9yuol7
|
{
"description": "telling the truth",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling the truth
|
So, my dad and my step mother broke up, after 8-9 years of dating and being together. I consider her my mother and will call her that going forward in this post. My father has had three major relationships (bio mom, step mom 1 (yuck), and mom. They all overlapped.
Well my dad moved out of her house into his own house after they broke up. They mostly broke up because they were always fighting and her kids, my siblings, hated my dad. My dad was heartbroken and was using Tinder to get over her, which is fine because "the fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone".
However, my dad and mom started hanging out again. He doesn't have his own car, so she drove him to get furniture and to grab groceries. She was trying to make his house into his own home, despite being broken up.
Eventually, they started comforting each other again. Which is fine, people get back together, whatever. **BUT** My dad was still sleeping with other people while sleeping with her. I tried to get him to tell her, but he told me it was none of my business and they had a rule that "if they started to see other people, they wouldn't want to tell the other person"
I backed off a bit because he didn't want me involved and when he started introducing me to these women he would bring home, I just moved out. I cannot be around that. I told him he was the reason I moved out and I don't want to know anymore about his relationships.
So on Sunday, my dad calls me. He said that my mom showed up at his house with some of his photo albums from his childhood. He didn't answer the door, so she knocked on his window (one-story). He had the woman in his bedroom.
Before I continue this story, I need to tell you about this woman. She is literally crazy. She is a loud mewing chick in the bedroom and a fidgety person who forgets everything you tell her within 2 minutes. I moved out mostly due to this woman. Well a few days before I moved, my dad told me that he was never going to see her again and that she was threatening him and all that good, crazy stuff. Riiight.
So, when my dad called me, he left out who was in the bedroom. He said that he talked to mom and said that it was inappropriate for her to show up at his house. Granted, they had broken up. But they go everywhere together and kiss and tell each other they love each other. Basically a relationship.
So I have been helping my brother with his homework after school because I'm good at school stuff, and he tells me that it was the woman who was in the room. Immediately I was irritated. So my dad lied about how he was never going to see her again. MHM.
So before I had started helping my brother with homework he had taken a shower. I was doing some cleaning while I was waiting when my mom called me. She was calling to ask me to come to Thanksgiving, of course I said yes. I could tell she was crying so I told her I would be coming over after I helped my brother with an outline.
I go over to my mom's house, and she is broken. Like my heart aches for her. I told her, that my dad had been doing this the entire time even though my father told her it was only the one time. That Saturday was the first time it had happened. I was done. My mom told me that, the one day my dad and I got into it (about him not telling my mother), that my dad told her that I had an issue with them being friends because I thought my mother was a bad person. My mom told me that their deal was, that if they ever wanted to go on a date they would tell each other, as to not string each other along.
My father has been lying. He has been manipulating what he would tell us individually.
I had to give my mother a bath and hold her hair while she puked because she couldn't keep down food. I was there, crying with her about how this happened. Trying to convince her that she isn't nothing and how being sad isn't being weak.
My dad knows I told her and I've been screening his calls and texts.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
W8Ck9RmWIuIpYgQhBLJXEZrNJfcP1swI
|
amcubv
|
{
"description": "pushing a special kids books in his hands",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for pushing a special kids books in his hands?
|
So here's the situation. A kid who I'm fairly familiar with at my old high school is autistic. I was always nice to him and we even joked around every now and then.
I'm in study hall and he walks up and the first thing he says is "move your hand". I told him I wasn't gonna do that.
He slams his book as hard as he could onto my hand. I told him to stop that or I was gonna have to tell his teacher who usually walks around with him. I have a decent pain tolerance but it did have a bit of sting behind it.
He does it again but harder. I grab the book he was using to hit me with and lightly push it away and tell him I was going to get his teacher. He tries it again. I grab push it away a second time mid swing and as I'm going to get up to find his teacher some 7 foot tall football starts yelling at me across the room.
"Yo stop bullying him he has special needs!"
"He was hitting me with his bo-"
"I know what I saw stop messing with him or I'm gonna beat your ass!"
A teacher eventually defused the Guy, got both sides of our story, and made sure that the special needs kid was separated and that the football player and I would drop it.
Perhaps I shouldn't of pushed it away, but in no way was I forceful and I honestly didn't want to have to get the kid in trouble.
So Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
UqDlJAuXreS22iyN4KIbwF8twdXJDikX
|
azfs64
|
{
"description": "asking my gf to have better hygiene if she wants to be intimate",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I ask my gf to have better hygiene if she wants to be intimate?
|
I’ve been with her for 3 weeks and I realized she isn’t the cleanest person. At times because of her work schedule and grad school stuff. She doesn’t take showers for 2-3 days unless I bother her enough about it, so although she doesn’t smell bad I think it’s a good habit. Secondly she brushes her teeth like once a day and doesn’t do mints and sometimes her breath isn’t the best and I try not to be rude and say anything but it’s hard to make out at times. I like everything about her but the hygiene stuff is turning into a turn-off. WIBTA to tell her to do better for herself with hygiene?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
F6H5z9LLVCQlOH6MkFFyZh3oBRKDBhUM
|
b5ozc6
|
{
"description": "not considering a child my sister in law watches my nephew",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not considering a child my sister in law watches my nephew?
|
Hey, I’ve been a long time reader on this sub and thought it’d be time to share my AITA story from last weekend. So, my sister is pregnant and due in a few weeks with a son. He and my brother in law are super happy for them. We live about two-three hours south of them (and my parents), so we don’t see them that often. They were supposed to all come down and see us last weekend, but it ended up just being my parents. I’ll get more into that later.
My wife’s sister watches a little boy named Dylan. He’s about 6 years old. She’s watched him for about 5 years, his mother is pretty trash and has no problem leaving him with my SIL for more than a weekend. My sister in law was called “Aunt Robin” by him and me and my wife were “Uncle Steve” and “Aunt Rebecca”, But within the past year, he’s started calling my Sister in Law “Momma” Which apparently everyone is cool with (except me).
Cut to three years ago, my wife’s brother and his wife are expecting a girl. My wife is over the moon about how we’re gonna be an aunt and uncle and she’s so excited and so on. She’ll be 3 in September and she is adorable.
Cut to almost two weeks ago, my parents come down to visit, my mom and dad are super excited to be grandparents. We’re talking over dinner about how the baby will be here soon and we can’t wait to see him. I say “I know he won’t make us an aunt and uncle because of Daisy(her brother’s daughter) but are you excited about our first nephew?” I said “we don’t have a nephew” she looks at me shocked “Dylan?” I said “he’s not really our nephew” she says (looking like she’s about to cry) “he calls us aunt and uncle, a child doesn’t have to be related to you to be your nephew, inconsiderate jerk.” In front of my parents. My mom is also hurt by this. My sister in law watched him for 5 years and we weren’t an aunt and uncle according to her until 2.5 years ago when her brother and sister in law were expecting. Am I the asshole here?
TLDR: Wife’s sister watches boy who calls us aunt and uncle. Wife doesn’t consider us aunt and uncle until her brother and wife have daughter. Wife doesn’t consider my sister’s soon to be son our first nephew. Calls me jerk when I don’t consider boy who Her sister watches our first nephew.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
cCbGjo7BX2sOHkii1R63U3II56LzZuZK
|
b0svrf
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend I dont want her dancing with other guys at parties",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend I dont want her dancing with other guys at parties?
|
Title explains it all. She was telling me that one of her guy friends is teaching her how to dance which I don't really care too much about cause it's teaching and her girlfriends are also getting taught, but then she told me she would go to parties and sees no issue with dancing with guys that aren't me. I told her I don't want her to and she doesn't understand why. Context: we have been boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 years approximately.
So AITA for telling my girlfriend that I don't like her dancing with other guys?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
cY9q7Kc4mhc4g9TipgJ6PXUMFMbpKnou
|
ajan7o
|
{
"description": "slapping a guy for not letting me go when while dancing. but I approached him first",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for slapping a guy for not letting me go when while dancing. But I approached him first.
|
This happened at a party last weekend and people are STILL dragging me all over my social media. I've even seen it posted to a few local comedy pages on instagram and everyone I know has been tagging me in them. I'm getting shit on and found out that one of my best friends is the one who sent them in. This was some party that most people who went to my high-school (graduated last year) was at.
My biggest enemy in high-school was there. We fought all the time and we hated each other. It was so bad that we weren't allowed to be in the same classes together (our schedules had to be rearranged every semester). I was already tipsy when we got there, so I didn't feel any real anger when I saw him, just mild disgust. At some point during the night, drunk me was a sick bitch who thought it'd be funny to dance on my him. I thought seeing a black girl bust a wine on a basic hockey white boy for the first time, would be very funny.
So I approach him while I'm dancing and he's kind of confused. Then I start dancing on him and when I look at him, it's like he can't believe what's happening. He caught a bubble (probably the first one ever) from the girl he beefed with all of high-school and it was crazy. It was really funny to me
He's enjoying it, I'm having fun and his friends are losing their shit. Literally everyone had their phone out. It was really fun for the first few minutes. But the more I dance, the harder this guy gets. It quickly became less "fun" and a lot more sexual/intimate. I wasn't feeling it anymore. It became this sexual, not fun, act that everyone was recording
I tried to stand up straight and walk away but he grabbed me by my hips and bent me over again. I tried to get up but he was holding me even tighter. I told him to let go of me, and he said "when the song's over". I told him to let go of me right then, but every-time i tried to get up, he kept me bent over. I kept telling him to let me the fuck go. When I did get out of his grip, I slapped him. Hard. Across the face. He obviously was instantly pissed and was calling me a "dumb bitch" and a "hoe". His friends were holding him back and everything. The girl who threw the party kicked out me and the friends I came in.
**Reasons I might be the asshole**
I approached him first
I didn't have explicit consent to dance with him
Sending mixed signals
Embarrassed him
**Reasons I might not be the asshole**
I approached him very slowly and he happily went along with it
I'm allowed to change my mind
I tried to get away and he kept bending me over and holding me tighter when I told him to "stop"
​
Getting mixed reviews from people on the internet and in my life
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
WRONG
|
kbtZ70otMcJhJ4xatWgsLCr6WQIbDOOF
|
ast4uv
|
{
"description": "giving bottles to a homeless person",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for giving bottles to a homeless person?
|
This happened last year but I got reminded it of it recently.
On my commute home from work there are a few homeless individuals who hold signs ‘Anything helps’ ‘God bless’ etc.
One particular drive home I felt like I wanted to help but I NEVER carry cash with me; it’s just not really the world we live in anymore unfortunately. So the only thing I could provide were a few empty soda bottles. (I live in Michigan and in our state bottle returns are 10 cents per.) I rolled down my window and said that I’m sorry I didn’t have cash but I have these you can return? The homeless person took the bottles but just kind of stared at me and didn’t say anything, then I drove off.
AITA? I genuinely wanted to help with what I could do, but in the back of my mind I feel like I just gave the guy a bunch of garbage. :(
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
AqaoVjqJKqatLA3U94NVwaoUlPCR3lf8
|
azgday
|
{
"description": "being \"forgetful\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being "forgetful"?
|
Dear community,
​
Some background information. I have been with this girl for a bit over 2 years, relationship has been rocky at best 90% of the time. She got pregnant, we kept the baby, and rode this beautiful wave.
​
For her b-day, I got her flowers. She complained to me that I don't listen to her because I got her roses instead of the flower she likes which she apparently mentioned (tulips).
​
For v-day, I got her chocolates, and 2 books. She complained to me that I don't listen to her because the books I got her where from different authors than what she liked which she apparently mentioned 3-4 months back.
​
Women's day, while I was aware that it was indeed women's day, it sadly didn't dawn on me that I had to get her something. She complained (and she has barely spoken to me last 3 days) that I never listen to her because I didn't get her roses and she apparently mentioned 2 times that she'd like some flowers for w-day.
​
Fine, I am a shitty listener, I have never had in my life a relationship where I had to mark 200million fucking days in the calendar where XYZ had to happen and a gift had to happen otherwise I am an asshole.
​
Now, I do try, and I explained it so. I work 40+hrs per week, I cook, I clean, I bring groceries, I take care of our baby 50% of the week during nights, and I support 100% the household with my income. I have told her a million times other things that she does that I don't like and she doesn't listen.
​
It seems that whatever I do wrong counts 100 points, whatever she does wrong, it doesn't count jackshit, and at the end of the day, I am the asshole who doesn't care.
​
Am I really the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
KPsLpeFUIj8aP5jjmSK9As54yFg3tc3C
|
a6e9in
|
{
"description": "helping my daughter's future ex-husband? **long",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For helping my daughter's future ex-husband? **long
|
AITA My daughter and I have had a rocky relationship for the past 10 years. Prior to that we had always been very close. She is married but separated they have three children. I divorced her biological father when she was six months old. Her paternal grandmother and I were extremely close (important) closer that my bio mother and I.
Last weekend my daughter asked if the oldest grandson could spend the weekend with us (my husband and I) while the two other kids (boy and girl) went to visit their dad. Naturally we said yes. Our rule of thumb is that we never ask questions we just go with the flow. My daughter does not like questions and has a quick temper. We surmised from a few comments dropped by the kids that the oldest son does not enjoy being around his father nor does he like his father's one bedroom apartment. We reside two houses away from my daughter and the children. (kids ages 16,14,11).
Yesterday afternoon my SIL called me to thank me for mailing him his birthday card and Christmas card (both had $$). My daughter's grandmother always remembered me on every holiday with a card, sweet note and a check. She was very good to me and was a wonderful example of the perfect MIL. My goal has always been to emulate her in every aspect that I can. Due to the volatility of my daughter's pending divorce I have been kind to my SIL but have kept my distance. After thanking me for the cards and money he explained that the oldest son was sick with a cold. He further advised that he felt it would be best if said child did not have to be cramped into the 1 bedroom with the two siblings and father for the weekend. He asked if the boy could spend the weekend with us again. I assured him we would be fine with it. He asked if it should be kept a "secret" from daughter I advised she should absolutely be advised of the situation. Phone call ended with plans for him to drop off boy and pick up dinner I had made for all of them.
5:00 rolled around the front door slammed open and I heard screaming "where the Hell is she?" I ran from the back of the house. My daughter was there; as I came to a halt she was yelling about me inserting myself into the middle of her family. My husband tried to stop her and explain what had happened but she kept yelling and swearing. Finally my husband said "that's it, you get the eff out of my house!". I stood there with my jaw hanging. Not usually a guppy this time I was completely dumbfounded, flat footed gob smacked. She whirled and slammed out the house.
Within ten minutes SIL called. Come to find out that moron had only told daughter that son was "going to a clean safe place" and then proceeded to drive from daughter's house two driveways down to our house. Daughter became enraged and they had a verbal altercation in the street. Oldest son who is a great kid was livid and cussing his father out (completely out of character I swear) standing on the porch of his father's apartment in the rain and refusing to come inside. I spoke to him on the phone and calmed him down. SIL wanted to move forward with previous plans I said I could not get in the middle of it. Son would have to stay with dad. SIL brought all three kids over to pick up the food I had made for them. Oldest son sat in car. I went out and hugged him, kissed his cheek told him everything would be okay sorry this was happening. This sweet straight A Honor Roll boy had tears in his eyes. My heart is breaking for him.
My husband and daughter are normally close. He walked over to talk with her. She was home doors locked music blaring (I am sure wine was flowing poor child) she looked out the window and refused to open the door. It is a $ht show.
AITA for saying that grandson could stay with us again this weekend? AITA for trusting SIL to call daughter to make visitation arrangements? AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
wRE1hwGJ1irnGlGXqa1WNUBCTA9DR2bh
|
b91jdd
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend how I felt about her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling my best friend how I felt about her?
|
Ok so basically me (16M) and this girl (18F) (we'll call her S), had been friends for a decent amount of time, like a two years, and we really hit it off. We liked the same kind of music, watched the same movies, wrote music together, etc. S is gay, not that I have a problem with that, but it's important for later on. I also have severe depression.
My depression makes me very insecure, and I did rely on her a lot as she previously said I could. A lot of the time, we would spend the nights at each others house, and sometimes sleep together (not sex), but cuddling and stuff. We'd also say I love you on a lot of occasions. So about two months back, I started to have "more then friend" feelings for her. I told her so, because we had always had a completely open relationship, and I thought she deserved to know because it concerned her, even though I obviously would never act on those feelings.
S did not respond well. She told me that I was needy and had taken advantage of her. S has completely cut me our of her life, has not talked to me, and made no attempt to work anything out. At this point I know I've lost my best friend, and S has even turned some of my other friends against me.
AITA?
TL;DR: I told my best friend how I felt, she has since cut me out of her life and proceeded to ruin my remaining social life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
OkeuZVh0y3QdsvtmGcKS4GJsXsP33llG
|
asqzpy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take my friends to France",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take my friends to France?
|
There's a lot of context to this one, so I'll do my best to summarize. At home, I live on the border of France. I have been to France "just for lunch" once, which was great. At university, I live about 300 miles from home, making it more difficult to get to France. However, I was invited along to a trip with my uni friends (let's call them X, Y & Z) to France next month and my dad kindly offered to drive us back home and let us stay a night, and then go to France in the morning since we're so close.
This is where it gets confusing. I got a call from my mum saying my dad's car was in the shop last week with some trouble and she said "you might have to get the train home! Or we'll have to get your car out instead", and I was said "oh yeah or just get dad a new car!" And didn't think anything of it. I was having a conversation later that day with X and he asked what I'd been up to, and I said 'oh yeah just having a chat with my mum, she's annoyed my dad's cars in the shop', and jokingly added 'so we might have to get a train back home!', and kept chugging along with my day.
We had a party that night and people were everywhere drinking and there were drugs floating around; essentially everyone was pretty fucked up. It got late, people were leaving, so I invited some people back into my room to keep it going. We were chatting and chilling out when X, Y & Z burst into my room and start screaming at me. They said (screamed) that everything is ruined because I didn't tell them my dad's car was broken, and that I'm a bad person for letting them invest money into the trip which might not happen. I tried to explain that although, yes, it's broken right now, next month when we're actually going, it'll be fixed and if anything does crop up which is a problem then of course I'd let all of them know. X then kicked everyone out of my room in order to keep shouting at me (but without an audience, I guess?) and I had to sit there with 3 people screaming in my face trying to calmly explain my side of the story.
After a while I'd had enough of it, and I said to them I was going to go with my friends they'd kicked out and that we'd talk about it in the morning when they weren't fucked up and I had some time to think. I crashed at my friend's place that night and went back the following day. I talked them and said that it was a miscommunication and I accepted I should have made everyone in the know with the car situation. I thought it was sorted, but yesterday I heard them bitching about me and saying how awful I was for not telling them about it, even though I had already accepted I should have told them.
Am I the Asshole for not wanting to take these people to France with me?
TL;DR: Dad's car broke down and I didn't tell everyone I should've about it, but despite my apologies and attempts to reconcile they're all still angry and bitching about it, so I no longer want to take them on this trip with me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
wcUxem3sXqwoKTvQDd6TTLcEVdMP6z5R
|
a4q5gu
|
{
"description": "cuddling with my best friend who has a bf",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for cuddling with my best friend who has a bf?
|
Well hi guys. I made this accound because I really want to be anonymous because most people I know do use reddit ^^'
So lets start: As you can see in the title, I (male) am kinda cuddling with my best friend (female) who has a bf. She says she has no problems doing it because she knows i don't have any feelings for her.
I do love her, but I'm NOT in love with her.
She is like my sister I always needed.
I'm having a really rough time because of my family and whenever she sees that I'm depressed because of something, she starts cuddling me (from the side while sitting or from behind).
I do the same to her most of the time (when she feels bad) since her bf is living far away from her and I don't want her to be sad.
I feel really bad sometimes because of this but I also need those few minutes in the week, because she is like the only person who really ever showes me love (As I said, not romantic love)
AITA for 'cuddling' with her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
QXe2fYJXYZa7m2V5nQQouOGzjP6FHCtE
|
aekecc
|
{
"description": "getting upset for being kicked out of the house by my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I got upset for being kicked out of the house by my boyfriend?
|
This happened this morning. My boyfriend of 5 years and I are house/dog sitting while his parents are out of town. We wake up and good to work at different times. Roughly 2 hours apart. He told me he would give me a key so I didn't have to get up earlier. I still have yet to recieve one. So he gets up and starts his routine. Since we live together he normally very respectful about staying quiet while I sleep. This morning however, he turn on all the light and starts playing music on his phone while I'm trying to sleep. Whatever I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep without success. So I finally get out of bed about 45 minutes later and head to the bathroom. Literally 30 seconds later he come in and asks if he can prestart my car. I'm butt naked and trying to take a shit. So I said something along the lines of "does it look like I'm any where near being ready?" and asked him why he was rushing me. He said he's not and I thought that was the end of it. Fucking 5 minutes later he comes back into the bedroom where I had just put my contacts in and was still mostly naked," you want me to preheat your car for you? ". So yeah I'm not a morning person and I did get some attitude with him. "stop fucking rushing me, you said you'd give me a key" and he said he's not rushing me. So I come down stairs probably about 7 minutes later and he's sitting on the couch waiting for me. There is no reason why he couldn't have left for work at this point and left a key. So we head out the front door together and he says "I can't leave yet I have a bunch of stuff I still need to do". So yeah I'm pissed and asked why the hell he was rushing me out the door and trying to get rid of me all morning? He starts to blow up on me and I walked away and didn't hear most of the bullshit he was saying. Kinda made me feel like I was 19 again and getting kicked out of my one night stand. He still had yet to text me back this morning and I'm just wondering how the hell am I the asshole in this situation?!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
KCBxUqI4JweJu4rv1RAddVktOrpxguRC
|
aipx4p
|
{
"description": "ignoring my ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ignoring my ex
|
I had started dating this girl before a year for around 6 months. She dumped me since she didn't have "much feelings" for me. We were friends before dating but had grown closer as ever during the 6 months. She had become my closest friend who I shared everything. After she dumped me, I was in a very bad state. She told me she still wanted to be the same but as friends. Even I couldn't envision losing her, since she had become a part of my life now. So we agreed to stay friends. I was okay but I didn't realize what would happen once she had someone new in her life. So, now she has been dating this person. I know I'd never want to be with her again, but somehow deep inside it affects me and my mood changes instantly when I hear her talking about him. It's weird, but it hurts me bad. We are in the same college. But I can't take it anymore, so I just avoid her. I feel like a coward but I just avoid talking to her now. Honestly, it feels much better somehow. I feel guilty and sad for making her feel that way, but I just can't do it anymore. I tried to be friends, but unfortunately didn't work out for me. Am I the asshole for straight up ignoring her for my inner peace?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5TsqOoqQBj3gl9NByjhoyb7O9nLBSAcX
|
azjcdc
|
{
"description": "not wanting a man to bring his daughter into a men's changeroom",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting a man to bring his daughter into a men's changeroom?
|
I was just finishing up a nice, afternoon swim at my university's pool. While I was resting at the side, about to get out, I noticed a father bring his 6 or 7 year old daughter into the changeroom with him. My first instinct was: "Uh-oh, they went into the wrong changeroom" (the gender neutral door was somewhat close) so I wait to see if they come quickly running out as their becomes painfully obvious. But they never come out. I gingerly go into the changeroom and sure enough he is showering in with his daughter in the same area that naked men are wandering around without a care in the world. I am extraordinarily uncomfortable so I go into the private stall to shower.
Is this normal? Obviously if the girl was an infant this wouldnt be a big deal but my feeling is that at that age they should be using the gender neutral room. Or maybe not, maybe I'm living in the 1800s. Please help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 16,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ipzk0Mr7XfIa4h6fJoRr6h0CZG1g4ZBL
|
a4i6db
|
{
"description": "changing the lock code to keep the kids out of the house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 27
}
|
AITA for changing the lock code to keep the kids out of the house
|
BF and I live together. Everything is better than great in our home. Merged families. Handful of kids 10-16 years old.
BF has an ex that is difficult. Takes advantage of his availability, puts the kids in the middle, etc.
Last month, BF leaves on a weekend boys’ trip. I have the house to myself. No kids. No noise. We both work full time. I’m exhausted and ready for a break.
But...BF’s ex wife needs to drop the kids (10 and 11) off because she has plans. I say no. She does it anyways. Kids use lock code to get in while She drives away. I cancel my plans. Stuck with the two. (They don’t want to go to their moms anyways, but that isn’t relevant IMO) I freak out, call BF. Chaos, cluster fuck.
This month, same situation. BF is gone. I send mine to their dads so I can do me. Ex wife says she’s dropping the kids off. I make it clear that the answer is NO. I leave. I change the lock code on the way out.
Here’s the tricky part: she drops them off anyways and drives off. The kids are now stuck outside without the code to get in. I’m at yoga and don’t have my phone on me. When I finally get to the text messages, I have a list of people all telling me to go and open the door. I rush home and begin making Mac and cheese because they haven’t eaten and had been sitting outside for an hour.
Heart to heart with BF. He doesn’t get it. BF says that his ex is difficult, but I can’t just change the code since we all live there and he’s kids are entitled to be home (plus, again, they don’t like it at their moms) But, I’ll be damned if I’m the free babysitter. Plus I’m not in the business of indulging children’s every want and wish. She won’t answer my calls.
Am I the asshole for changing the code knowing that (potentially) the BF’s kids could be dropped off and left on the sidewalk?
TLDR- BF’s ex-wife keeps dropping off their kids for me to watch, so I changed the lock code so the kids can’t get in.
AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 27
}
|
WRONG
|
rXF4pghfMyJlJvce1Jju7pJdiY3fVrFh
|
awr4xt
|
{
"description": "reporting my cousin to an animal rescue",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting my cousin to an animal rescue
|
On mobile. Yadda yadda.
Backstory - I worked in ER/ICU at a specialty vet hospital overnights prior to getting married and moving. Whenever someone has an issue with a pet they ask me, and also people tend to complain to me when others mistreat animals and ask what they can do to stop it.
Enter my family. My cousin and his wife adopted a pit bull puppy a year ago. My aunt contacted me concerned because she was trying to sell it - after having the dog for a year she didn’t have time to train it and wanted the dog out ASAP *side note - this is the second dog she’s returned to a rescue because it’s too much work*.
Again, I worked overnights in ER in a city, dogs (especially pits) would routinely come in for being bait dogs. The area my cousin was looking to sell the dog is outside the city in an area that also notoriously fights these dogs. I’ve honestly seen enough animal abuse and neglect that I got burnt out last year.
I talked to my aunt and she agreed and privately reached out to the rescue where my cousin obtained the dog for a few reasons.
1. They signed a contract stating they would return the dog to the rescue if anything didn’t work out.
2. Rescues will reach out if given anonymous tips - and try to work with the owners and sometimes provide help or advice.
3. I didn’t trust they’d actually care who took the dog, they wanted it out, so I was worried about who would get the dog.
I did NOT talk to them in person for one main reason - they’re legit bat shit crazy. They’re the people talking about fighting other 40 yr olds on Facebook. I sincerely thought submitting an anonymous tip would be better.
Cue the aggressive Facebook message from said family (who I haven’t seen in 2 years now because they refuse to come to anything) calling me a child, how I have growing up to do, how I’m a snake, how I showed my true colors, how she won’t say what she really wants to say about me (and also blocked me from messaging her back)
Needless to say I guess the rescue didn’t keep it confidential.
AITA for sending the rescue an anonymous tip on my cousins who were trying to give away their dog?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OEeriNcx7OEMpmmjQ9LRYVWxCGXcieS1
|
b5gq0h
|
{
"description": "not telling my girlfriend her car got broken into",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not telling my girlfriend her car got broken into?
|
I've been thinking about this for the last few weeks, figured I'd post to hear other people's thoughts.
A couple weeks ago, I went out to my girlfriend's car to drive somewhere, and as I got close to it I saw a bunch of junk on the driver and passenger floors. Didn't compute for a second, and then I realized that the glovebox was open, and the stuff on the floor was the hastily rifled contents of the door pockets, center console, and glovebox.
I went in for a closer look and realized that no windows were broken and the doors were unlocked, meaning most likely I forgot to lock the car door last time I used it, so it was 100% my fault (she doesn't use it much, so no chance it was her).
After going through everything, I realized that about $7 in small bills and change was missing from the sunglasses holder thing, but otherwise everything was there. They didn't touch my GPS or my dashcam, thankfully. Also no damage to the car, and tbh it was kind of nice to get rid of some assorted junk that had been in the pockets, so the car was cleaner than before. Silver linings, kind of?
So, in light of all this, I decided to not tell my girlfriend about it. She is a very nervous person, and will absolutely spiral into pretty deep anxiety over this kind of thing, and it will last for a while. For example, our landlord yelled at her for some little thing 3 years ago when we moved in, and to this day she is genuinely afraid of a tiny 70 year old woman who has otherwise been completely unthreatening. My worry is that her knowing will cause her to be scared of our entire neighborhood, not want to sit on the porch, not want to talk to our neighbors, etc, when obviously the break in was just a random desperate person, and not indicative of the whole area. We do live in a place that wasn't great somewhat recently, but has heavily gentrified in the last 10 years.
So AITA? I feel bad for withholding information from her, but at the same time I think it might be better for her own mental health.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
mRcuy8F6cktlitpDfd2uzWJsmTJw7ucR
|
and3w9
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my dad's comment on my mental disorder",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my dad's comment on my mental disorder?
|
I was helping my dad with a few things at home, he wanted to fix some issues with the walls and, while we were working, I brought up the fact that an actor I like was going on a tour in theaters with a monologue I wanted to see, so I invited him.
His reaction was basically "youngsters today can't stay focused for that long".
I told him I thought he was exaggerating saying it's a problem of "youngsters" but that due to my mental disorder I do have troubles staying focused and I tend to daydream a lot, sometimes making me re-read what I was reading and other similar situations.
He said it's not my disorder and that everyone can get distracted.
I tried to explain that yes, they do, but not to my extent.
At that he said that by the way I talk it sounds like I enjoy being miserable and that I like having the disorder I have.
I found that very offensive, I HATE the disorder I have to live with, it makes my life a potential emotional hell. It does have some very minor upsides, but mostly is huge downsides that make relationships very difficult.
I think saying what he did can be compared to tell a cripple who can't walk "I mean yeah you have no legs but dude, come on, sometimes I get tired and can't go on a hike too, you're not that different from normal people."
We did get in a short lived, but very heated argument and I was just wondering if he was very rude as I feel he was, or if I'm the asshole here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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