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32
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6
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dict | title
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10.8k
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values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
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stringclasses 2
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|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
G5SLNi20JSPdsxyKHcLCRg35QaTy6FYe
|
b4a86u
|
{
"description": "not paying",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not paying
|
I just heard of this place and I wanted to know if I am in the wrong. So recently I purchased a new phone for $749 and I showed it to a family member who also loved how it looked. She was currently using my old iphone 6s (perfect condition) that I let her borrow because her phone broke. She decided to upgrade to the same phone so we went to the store together. When I got to the store I saw that the bigger model was much nicer. I suggested that she buy the bigger model and I would pay her $150 and swap phones with her. She agreed. However when she was going to pay for the phone she actually heard there was a trade in promo. The promo would give her a $250 discount if she traded in the iPhone 6s. At the time I wasn't really thinking much about it, but she traded it in and ended up paying 649 for the phone instead of 899. When we got home and switched, she asked for the $150 dollars. I told her I would go get the money, when I realized she actually sold MY phone that I let her borrow. So I went over and told her that because she got a discount on the phone using my iPhone 6s I dont think I have to pay her. She got very mad and said that I'm a dirty scammer. However in the end she still paid $649 for a $749 phone. Am I the asshole for not paying her even though she saved money by trading in my own property?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2ZgPonPANFnE1l32Z5yFSHso1VUkXKOv
|
9voldi
|
{
"description": "holding a door open for a guy in a wheelchair and saying \"you're welcome\" when he rolled past and glared at me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for holding a door open for a guy in a wheelchair and saying “you’re welcome” when he rolled past and glared at me?
|
i was walking out of a set of double doors that were heavy at the library at a university and the guy is a student i have seen before. he does not have any cognitive handicap, to be clear. am i the asshole for thinking everyone should at least smile when a stranger helps you out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
WXeVAQbiAUmgkd5W4aVtXXJaZ45qDoQg
|
ari8tk
|
{
"description": "dating my ex's brother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for dating my ex’s brother?
|
I was dating a guy (let’s call him James) from mid October to mid December. We broke up, and James started dating someone else about a month later (mid January). We’re still close friends and everything is all good between us. Me and his brother (Chase) started dating recently (mid February) and I feel kinda bad cause Chase is James’ brother. But at the same time, James moved on, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. I’m just not sure if I’m in the wrong here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
G2mNmwsrVuG9Ztj7wKctNgkwlOjGyU2V
|
aulu3m
|
{
"description": "asking my dad to make me breakfast",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for asking my dad to make me breakfast?
|
This morning, I walked into the kitchen after hearing “Hey boys, breakfast” while I was sitting in my room. To my dismay, there’s no food for me. Only for my little brothers. I ask my dad why and he said he thought I’d still be asleep. I asked him to make some for me and he tells me to to make my own.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
T1oTwBQT1YjayxLap5n3wcWYfLW8jw2n
|
b8bpr8
|
{
"description": "telling my subordinate essentially, \"it's an Executive, deal with it\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my subordinate essentially, "It's an Executive, Deal With It"
|
So background, I got a random skype message from a person that reports to me asking if one of our executives (specifically the one I report to directly and the one she indirectly reports to) had issues with his printer. He's been apparently asking the receptionist to print some emails throughout the day. She started off saying it was rude to ask someone to stop throughout the day to print things. I told her he might have an issue with his laptop, thinking that would be a reasonable answer to put it to bed. She said then he should fix it and print all his emails. I ultimately told her, "I'm going to give you my honest answer and you're not going to like it - he's the CFO and as the receptionist that's part of their job." We went back and forth about it. Her argument: it's not right, it's bad culture and it's unfortunate.
In my eyes, I've always worked with 2 thoughts 1) assume positive intent from people, I have worked under this man for a little over 2 years, there's a rhyme or reason why he's doing what he's doing and 2) that unless it's illegal, dangerous, or unethical - your boss asks, do it. I posed the question to 2 of my friends, one didn't see an issue...the other said "once a dick, always a dick".
I'm trying to see if from subordinates eyes...I'm huge on culture, I've been trying to drive culture change at my work and it's been going good - so that struck a cord.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iMtH4qs0FvaL79NyQ7zw3FWtcqlQ8Wws
|
acdo9q
|
{
"description": "smoking outside of my home",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AItA for smoking outside of my home?
|
So I'm a 19yo full-time student who lives at home for a lot of complicated reasons that make it difficult for me to leave right now. I still contribute money towards the household (as rent, more or less)b as well as help with many chores and errands. Don't know if this is important to share, but who knows?
Anyways. College is stressful - no duh! So, though it may not be my best desicion, I've taken up casually smoking cigarettes. (I mean, one every couple of days.) However, I do not smoke in my house or in my car - usually I go outside, to a nearby park, or out in my apartment's parking lot. I'm always by myself so I don't bother anyone with the smell, and I use perfume and gum afterwards.
No one in my immediate family smokes, and all my life I've heard the typical warnings and what-not against it, but I feel that I'm willing to take the risks right now because of where I'm at in life. I dont intend to become a chainsmoker or even a very serious one, really.
But. My mom just found out this evening, and she has literally been giving me the silent treatment over it. (A little unusual of her) Not before she told me I could move out if I'm "going to do whatever the fuck I want, anyways."
A big part of me can see why she's upset because she raised me to be a healthy person, but I also feel that she's being a little unfair. Like, I'm not doing anything in or near our home, I'm not addicted, I'm paying for it with my very own money, and I'm legally allowed to purchase the cigarettes. I don't do drugs, I don't party, and I'm a good student. But there's a huge part of me that still feels really guilty and really bad that I've pissed her off so much. I know she cares about me and wants me to be healthy, and I do understand where she's coming from to a point.
But I'm seriously wondering right now, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
q6CMP9XNHSwms0rB37aFdAXqB1Uu5Zuc
|
aoxr9p
|
{
"description": "not understanding why my GF is so upset about a sensitive subject",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not understanding why my GF is so upset about a sensitive subject
|
So at a party one of my friends asked my GF about a small scar she has, asking "What happened?". My GF explained and the night went on. Later, in private, she ended up crying to me about it saying it really upset her that he would ask about it. I tried to explain that he meant no harm and that he didn't know it was such a sensitive subject and asked if she wanted me to say something to him just to say like don't mention it or let him know its a sensitive subject so he wont make the same mistake again which she didn't want me to. He genuinely didn't mean to upset her and he doesn't even know that she was upset by it.
A month or so has passed and I mentioned that the same friend was having a party and that my GF and I should go to it and she refused saying she doesn't want to be near him because he makes her really uncomfortable. I was a bit taken aback and asked why because I thought it must have been something serious to upset her that much that she removed him from all social media and now wants to avoid seeing him at all. She said I know why and I asked was it because of what he said at the first party, she said yes and asked why I don't understand why shes so upset about what he said. I explained my view of the situation and explained that he really meant no harm by it as he didnt know it was a sensitive subject to her and that I don't understand why shes reacting the way she has. She is now even more upset with me and asking why I am defending him and not defending her.
I understand she is upset but I don't think that my friend has done anything wrong, he didn't mean any harm and he would apologise if he knew he had hurt her. I have never said shes overreacting or that shes wrong to be upset but I don't think its very nice that shes completely avoiding him even though he doesn't know hes done anything wrong so hasn't had the chance to apologise.
​
AITA for not understanding and sticking up for my friend instead of her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zFw3xfPkPvFnGiQItYbwbRDxQcqTNxK4
|
9zaz9y
|
{
"description": "being excited about all the Black Friday fight videos about to happen",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being excited about all the Black Friday fight videos about to happen?
|
Is it wrong that I find entertainment from seeing shoppers try to kill each other this holiday season?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VgFuNLxRp0DGK2Tew6ac1cJw7CGN1XZX
|
adxq3e
|
{
"description": "not telling my best friend happy birthday",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not telling my best friend happy birthday?
|
It was recently one of my best friend's 21st birthday. Us and our other best friend were supposed to go out to dinner for her. However, I got my hair bleached and dyed that day and got chemical burns from the bleach (I used to have psoriases on my scalp and I still have bleeding sometimes) and was in a lot of pain and bleeding all the rest of the day (our other friend claims this happened at 10 AM but my appointment wasn't until noon and anded at 3pm). I had been looking forward to seeing my friends since we made the plans a couple weeks ago, but I had to bail because of how bad the chemical burns hurt (probably partially my fault because I still colored my hair after the bleaching and that probably made it worse). I was really upset that I had to cancel because we rarely see each other now because we go to different colleges.
​
So I didn't go, much to my displeasure. But our other friend said it was "suspicious" and that they were upset I never said sorry for not being able to come. But both of them are upset with me for how I reacted to their texts. I didn't want to stay home. I was even supposed to bring my boyfriend to meet them since we've been together over 6 months and we're very serious. He also wanted to come after I told him how important it was to me and to them, but it feels like they think I didn't want him to come. Bday friend feels like I cancelled last-minute and that I didn't even try to come. And I'm sad I couldn't, but I spend the rest of the day and the day after dealing with a stinging scabbed up head, and from my perspective, not coming was the more considerate thing than to go and be a negative presence, which I genuinely thought I would be, and besides, I needed to immediately go home and try to calm the chemical burns in some way.
​
So I was very frustrated because I really couldn't understand why they were both so upset. I got pretty upset and I admit, I was really unkind and inconsiderate in my replies to both of them (I've been inconsistent in taking my bipolar medications, and I do not consider this an "excuse" for my behavior but it has made me very irrationally irritable). I feel bad about it but I still don't understand why this is a big deal. I didn't forget about her on her birthday, but they feel because I didn't text her happy birthday that I didn't really care, which is completely untrue. I love my friend with all my heart and I wouldn't ever try to hurt her. Both of them are saying I was extremely rude in my replies, and I acknowledge I responded while I was too heated and didn't think through what I was saying much.
​
So bday friend is hurt that I didn't say anything on her birthday. It isn't like I forgot about her. She's my best friend and I could never do that. I truly didn't think it was a big deal to not say it, she knows how much I love her and that I am excited for her turning 21. I guess I was riding on the assumption she knew I wished her a good birthday. I truthfully don't understand why it became a big deal. I admit it was probably me projecting onto her, because I don't care if someone wishes me a happy birthday or not, and I think I was wrong in making that assumption, because everyone feels differently.
​
And now I don't know how to "make it up" to her. I was already a bitch in my responses to our group texts because I failed to control my anger at the situation. I was pretty offended at what they said and failed to hold myself back. I decided to back off the conversation until I cooled down, which I am still trying to do now. I never want to hurt my friends and I am genuinely sorry if I did, but I don't know what she wants me to do now after our argument. I feel like there isn't anything I can say that she would feel makes up for it.
​
tl;dr: I didn't tell one of my best friends happy birthday and couldn't go to her birthday dinner because I had chemical burns on my head and was in lots of pain. She and our other best friend are upset with me for not saying anything and for not being able to come to dinner and consider it suspicious. I admit I got too heated and responded in a negative way while upset. But now I don't know what to do to fix this. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
AAlGbuEZTeBMVmxehwQEvY6pjpEvETCR
|
b8z9v3
|
{
"description": "just trying to move things along",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for Just trying to move things along?
|
The scenario: Convenience store/bodega type place where a lot of the local business folk go to grab stuff for lunch because it’s really the only place close enough. There are 5 of us obviously trying to grab some lunch and get back to work on time and at the head of the line is a little old lady who is arguing intensely with the cashier over nine cents. After about 3 minutes of this I finally reach forward, place a dime on the counter, and say “Here, I have a dime, will that help?”. The old lady looks at me like I’m from mars and I just smile at her and say “just wanted to help ‘cause I need to get back to work before I’m late ‘cause the boss gets mad”. The old lady glares at me, says “fuck you” and storms out of the store. NOTE: I attempted to be very careful about face expression and tone of voice so as to sound pleasant, not snotty.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
oSMAAdUddXAsrz1ugkj17cG8U9ngOJ2t
|
b536wa
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to smoke weed",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to smoke weed?
|
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 5 months now. She talked to me about she used to smoke a lot of weed but now doesn’t because she doesn’t like it anymore. However, the past week she started to smoke again and has smoked 5 times this week. I for one am NOT anti-weed. All my roomates smoke and all my friends smoke. I have no problem with it. I myself do not smoke because I tend to have bad experiences. I expressed to her how I felt about her smoking. I told her I found it unflattering and that she wasn’t her self when she was high. She wasn’t the person I have came to love when she is high. She felt as if the only reason I don’t want her smoking is because I don’t which I understand, but is not the reason.
I don’t want to be controlling which is why I didn’t say she couldn’t smoke, rather just told her I don’t like when she does. She found it as if I was coming at her and not wanting to do something she enjoys.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
4AX8agKVwVHFGU73cQq9gxL7v2i6ttrz
|
avj56l
|
{
"description": "not inviting my aunt to my 16th Birthday Party",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA For Not Inviting My Aunt To My 16th Birthday Party.
|
Hello, I am back again. This isn't a shitpost or a validation post. I am having trouble figuring out if I will be the asshole if I did this or not. Sp. Let's get to this.
​
So, my aunt is a member of the small town I live in. I will be turning my sweet sixteenth next month, and my mother and I are trying to figure out who I will be inviting. Of course my mom is wanting to invite her family, which I don't have a problem with, however I specifically asked her not to invite my aunt, the woman who married her brother. My aunt can be sweet, and nice, but is very critical of my mom. I have seen first hand what that has done to her, but my mom says that she "forgives" my aunt. And that I should be forgiving her, but don't associate myself with her.
​
While it isn't my place to tell her that she should forgive my aunt, it angers me. Mostly because of what my aunt said and done to both of us that is unforgivable in my book. There are two incidents and it happened years ago when I was still in elementary school. But I can't forget the words she said about my mother when my uncle passed away, and when she left me alone at night in a car when my mom was late in picking me up. I am mad that my mother didn't protect me from her when she should've, but my mom also works late in trying to keep my family afloat.
​
I do not want to ruin the relationship between my mom and her brother (who seems like he is turning his head at this) as she has been trying to rebuild it. And I feel like this is what will happen if I didn't invite her, but I feel as if she will just show up for a few minutes and leave without a goodbye like she did last year. I tried to talk to my mom about her, but again "It is the Christian thing to forgive and forget. You don't have to associate with her, but you still will have to see her.".
​
So, WIBTA if I didn't invite my aunt even though it is a chance of ruining my moms relationship with her brother? AM I wrong to still be angry?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
1gs6JFPHnRJ6v6ddqeRRZDLGMMPqOKCq
|
9uqen7
|
{
"description": "making my roomate cry",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making my roomate cry
|
This happened yesterday and I'm kind of conflicted over it. For some context, I am currently in the process of transferring to a different college. I've been in the process since the beginning of the semester but only just left my roomates know this past Thursday. We're pretty friendly but we aren't that close so I didnt really want to discuss it until I was sure I was leaving, hence why I waited so long.
Separately I had been annoyed with this particular roomate, we'll call her M, since she has a habit of leaving piles of unwashed dishes in the sink for days at a time and expected me to wash them for her, so I had been avoiding her a bit to begin with.
This past weekend I went out of state and on my way back yesterday afternoon I received a series panicked texts/messages from a family member, N, saying she was "worried about me and wanted to know if I was okay" emotionally. I was confused by this since it seemed to come pretty out of nowhere, I have struggled with depression in the past but I've been pretty open about that as well as about the fact that I'd been doing very well recently.
Apparently N received a series of messages from M on facebook, that I have screenshots of, telling her that I was a suicide risk and was isolating myself and not talking to anyone and asking her to keep watch over me since switching schools seemed like "another way" for me to isolate myself. She also said that I had been "displaying a lot of red flags" and "got angry whenever she tried to bring it up" (which in my memory she never has?), as well as not talking to B, our other roomate. N has a panic disorder and so when she received these messages and then couldn't immediately get ahold of me (as I was out of town), she had a panic attack.
When I got home I had all of the roomates, theres only 4 of us including myself and B and we were all already aware of the situation, come to the common room and sit down to talk about it. I asked her why she said those things about me, and her reasoning came down to "you weren't talking to me". I told her that she crossed a major line by going to my family first and telling lies about me, and that she had no right to assume things about my personal life and act like they were true. She started to say that she would do differently in the future but I cut her off and asked her to please in the future keep it to herself because she clearly doesn't have a very good grasp on my state of mind. I thanked her for her concern but told her that, I feel like I'm unable to trust her with details about my personal life and apologized in advance if I was more distant going forward. When I said this she started crying, and I left the room.
I understand that M likely had good intentions with this but I was furious that she didn't talk to me, or even to B, who I actually am friends with, about it first. The fact that she "tattled" on me to a family member who she doesnt know crossed a major personal boundary in my eyes. Especially since I had a really bad experiance with this type of thing when an ex-friend of mine in high school tried to get me committed by making false reports about me. M knew about this, and so I feel like she should have known the degree of paranoia that it would give me for this to have been handled like this.
I feel like I handled things as politely as I could have but I feel really bad about making her cry, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
oD4DtT1TghlnjoVORlmH5OPy7zZWiLbJ
|
b1qp6q
|
{
"description": "telling someone the flaws that I see in their life that they seem to be oblivious too",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For telling someone the flaws that I see in their life that they seem to be oblivious too?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
|
azrvT0KtS9UaLzYQnZ7GW6mvhulKWGjn
|
ar0vqt
|
{
"description": "parking my bike at 8pm with the engine on",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for parking my bike at 8PM with the engine on?
|
Ok so, the situation is this: I was driving home tonight, and arrived home roughly around 8PM, and leave my bike idling for approximately 30 seconds with my lights on so I can actually see where I am parking (tricky gravel parking space with a concrete slab for the kickstand)
Shortly after I turn my bike off and put away my keys; the next door neighbour comes out and moans at me for having my bike on, and proceeds to slam her door.
So this is my question: AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
YzCrGIHuKslKUjddGdRcxe3C2zGlDuwR
|
atn8lg
|
{
"description": "wanting to elope",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to elope?
|
My fiancé and I recently got engaged and I couldn’t be more excited but I really don’t want a large wedding, I would be happy to run off and elope.
This thought was reinforced by my parents who offered to give us money for the wedding and we are free to use it how we want to they even suggested that if I didn’t want a big wedding to go off to Europe like I want to and then have a reception of sorts when we get home.
My fiancé keeps saying that we should have a large wedding for the family because that is what is tradition and his parents would be upset if we eloped. Now he is close to his extended family and is his parents first and only son so I can see where he is coming from but in my opinion this is suppose to be our day so why would I do something’s that I am going to hate just to make sure his parents are happy?
Am I the asshole for wanting to elope and forgo the big wedding?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
4kLwheg5x6OXbmEKpH99BVJTpfreLm4X
|
b20g8a
|
{
"description": "assuming a guy I'm not talking to anymore left flowers in front of my house and planning to tell him to leave me alone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for assuming a guy I'm not talking to anymore left flowers in front of my house and planning to tell him to leave me alone?
|
This is sort of an update/continuation of the post below.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/aqqc3r/aita_for_telling_people_why_i_cut_off_my_friend/
This is a guy I used to be friends with, but he told me he liked me even though I have a boyfriend and he started venting to me aboout how his feelings for me was affecting him negatively. To be fair, I encouraged him to vent at first because I wanted to be there for him, but realized this wasn't healthy for either of us. I stopped talking to him about three months ago and refused to talk whenever he reached out. He sent me a long text that I didn't reply to one weekend and the next day I found a gift bag without a name. It was of my favorite color with my favorite flowers in it, sitting in front of where I park my car in front of my house. I'm pretty sure it was him, but my friends have said I can't assume that. I feel like I'd be acting naive to not assume it's him and it's taken my peace of mind and I've been more paranoid of guy friends after that whole ordeal. I plan to tell to him that I don't want anything to do with him and tell him to stop trying to talk to me. That and how everything has affected me so that he doesn't do this to another girl. Some friends say he's harmless and is just lost, but I'm tired of having my boundaries crossed and leaving unwanted presents at the house of someone who doesn't want to contact them is not okay. This is the second time a guy has done this and I'm done putting up with it. I don't like how it's being downplayed and I don't think I'm overreacting, but my friends' comments are making me doubt myself.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JDkHUX0U8vPBDmtRdB10n4iCglyrAi3m
|
b2aatb
|
{
"description": "breaking my friend's sunglasses",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking my friend’s sunglasses?
|
This happened many years ago but I still feel bad about it.
I was travelling by coach with a group of friends and was sitting on the last row (the one with 5 seats) right next to the middle seat where my friend was sitting.
During the journey I left my seat for a while (maybe 10 minutes) to chat with another friend. When I went back on my seat I noticed my friend was dozing off. As I was sitting down this friend held my arm and said in a very stern way “don’t sit down”, but it was already too late - I had sat on his sunglasses which were on my seat and had crushed them.
I apologised saying I had not seen them (both the seat and the sunglasses were dark colour), but he was really upset and said it was my fault for being careless. (He also added this were the only sunglasses that prevented him for getting headaches and all the other brands had been useless.)
I didn’t have money to repay for his sunglasses (I didn’t have money to buy myself a pair of the cheapest sunglasses).
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IC2NfG5VM7wQRjH7oyDbjNDi0y7xKEb3
|
b8p0r0
|
{
"description": "refusing to avoid a girl that makes my gf uncomfortable",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to avoid a girl that makes my gf uncomfortable?
|
My GF [22F] and I [24M] have been dating for about 6 months now. I’ve known that she has trust and abandonment issues from her past relationships. She dislikes one of my best friends [25F], whom I’ve known for about a year longer than GF. Let’s call her “Jane.” There has never been anything (sexual or romantic) between her and I. I tend to befriend more girls than guys, so it’s normal for me.
GF cites a couple reasons for not liking Jane.
1. They met was at my Halloween party. Jane came with a larger group of friends and they were all drunk already. From the moment Jane got there, all she talked about was how excited she was to meet GF. When GF got there, they briefly introduced each other and GF went to hang out with her friends that she invited. Jane kept asking me when she’d be able to really meet GF. In her drunken state, Jane tried to discreetly whisper this to me. Aware that it could cause a misunderstanding, I make sure to keep a reasonable distance and never make any physical contact; I even tried to bring Jane to where GF was but GF didn’t seem interested in talking to Jane. Afterwards, GF was mad and didn’t allow me to explain anything because that would be “defending” Jane.
2. GF said she would give Jane “a second chance” when I invited GF to come to a bday party at Jane’s apartment. I was already in a bad mood bc of my then-roommate who is an asshole (we were still “best friends” then but that’s a different story). At one point, I got very hungry, ordered delivery, and ate it in the lobby away from people to not be rude. GF came out eventually and said she’d go to the bathroom and be right back. After a few minutes, Jane comes out and asks why I’m eating outside. Jane says to just go eat in her room and that there’s a lot of people hanging out there. Knowing how bad this was going to look, I insist on staying and that I’m waiting for GF to come back. Jane tells me that GF is in the balcony smoking weed with my roommate, then grabs my food, and tells me to just text GF that I’ll be eating upstairs. I’m even more anxious at this point and quickly text GF to come back and shows up before we went upstairs. Jane takes us to her room, where there were indeed other people. We had an argument, couldn’t explain; same thing.
Because of personal reasons, GF moved back home indefinitely and we’ve been in a LDR for 3 months. GF says that because we are doing distance and Jane makes her uncomfortable, I should avoid anything related to Jane, such as: liking pics on facebook and instagram, talking to her, and being anywhere Jane might also be at. GF says she’d even expect me to leave a place or party if Jane is also there, at least for as long as we’re in a LDR. Because I transferred schools, I rarely see my friends anyway and this just makes it even harder because Jane may be where they are.
So, am I being “disrespectful” to our relationship by refusing to avoid my friend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
4nCdgF3bd7C6Rw4XeGbwPVoeffCE5ZwS
|
amrvxd
|
{
"description": "thinking that a prescheduled dnd session is more important than new plans with my grandma",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for thinking that a prescheduled dnd session is more important than new plans with my grandma
|
Okay so for some context my family and I have a biweekly DND session every other Tuesday and they decided to schedule going and seeing my grandma for that same day and time as our session. My grandma is in pretty good health for her age so I tried to tell them to just reschedule it for the next day if it meant that much to them because Tuesday is the only day our friends who joins us can come play as well. So I've gotta ask AITA for thinking they should reschedule their new plans for our old plans that happen so frequently you hardly could forget it happens to being with?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
svcm1HiYDeikbbZ8sPrSY5GB4NiAGRHa
|
9xi24g
|
{
"description": "telling a future doctor to be careful about how revealing her pictures on social media are",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a future doctor to be careful about how revealing her pictures on social media are?
|
There’s a girl that’s a mutual on one of my social media’s, and I just found her. She has in her bio that she’s a nursing assistant now, and a future doctor. I scrolled through her profile, and saw some pretty revealing pictures, and also some talking about her using cocaine. I messaged her asking if she was aware that some people who hire doctors and nurses check their social media.
She told me they didn’t. They definitely do. I told her that if she posts pictures that have her breasts completely out, and talking about the use of drugs, she could have problems finding a job. I asked some of my friends, and they told me I was the asshole for not letting her be body positive and post what she wants.
Take a look at my Reddit. I’m not one to *ever* tell a woman not to post her body, because I post mine all the time. She obviously just hadn’t been told that posting nude pictures can bite her in the butt. I’m now being lectured by my followers on not letting her be body positive. I just thought I was looking out for her. I don’t 100% agree with the fact you shouldn’t be allowed to post your body and not be hired, but everyone seems to think I’m an asshole for telling her to be careful, though I had no malicious intent here.
AITA?
My message said this exactly: More and more places hiring professional people are checking their social media and I wouldn’t want years of your med school to go to waste!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FLgCg5YaeZs6inh9dpzllKQwT1SCcNql
|
aa32qb
|
{
"description": "saying he showed a lack of respect for my belongings",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for saying he showed a lack of respect for my belongings?
|
Throwaway account as a lot of our friends use reddit and know our usernames. Mobile user, apologies for bad formatting etc etc.
So me and my SO are having an argument and decided to write this post together (for fairness so we are both repesented equally) to see who's in the wrong. We know it's a small issue but it's causing quite a debate between us.
He was unpacking his Christmas presents, a few of which are heavy books. He decided to place them on top of a painting I've done recently which I'm extremely proud of and which I've put over 30+ hours of work into. This painting means a lot to me. I then picked the books up an hour or so later and noticed that the painting had been lying at an angle between the wall and table slightly, such that it had been bent when the books had been placed onto it.
I told my SO I believed it showed a lack of respect toward my belongings that he hadn't checked to make sure my painting wouldn't be damaged when placing heavy books on top of it. And yes, i did shout it a little, as the painting means a lot to me and it upset me that he bent it. He argues that he assumed it was flat and therefore didn't check, and although is at fault for not checking he believes this doesn't show a lack of respect towards personal belongings and takes offense at being accused of this.
I've been really upset about my painting being bent, and he's really upset that I shouted at him for bending it. He specifically takes issue with my use of the phrase "lack of respect" as he says I'm not using the phrase the way he understands it and it upsets him to be accused so flippantly of not taking care of my things. I believe that not checking if he was going to damage my painting IS a lack of respect toward it and he should accept responsibility for it.
So, who's in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
rIkXWfcbxM3ooP542W7qCUD3yVUFBH1b
|
a35vly
|
{
"description": "letting my dog use our doggy door",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for letting my dog use our doggy door?
|
We got an aussie shepherd mixed mutt puppy a few months ago, and she is the sweetest thing in the world. Never met another human or dog she didn't get along with.
Now, she is noisey and likes to boss all the other dogs around. Herding breed through and through.
We have two neighbors with dogs on each side of us, and they both have pitbulls.
One neighbor has let our dog play with theirs, and they are such good friends. Always looking for the other when they go outside.
The other neighbor has kept them leashed when going outside. In their fenced-in backyard. We got a fenced in back yard so our dog could run free, and now the neighbor is demanding we take her out on a leash like they do.
This was brought up to us after an alleged event I did not see where my dog stuck her nose through the fence, and snapped at their dog. Not sure which dog "started it" or whether or not this snap was just her being mouthy (she mouths other dogs her size or bigger constantly, as this is how puppies play. She is very careful with smaller dogs. Never has another dog taken issue to this), but I don't doubt it could have appeared aggressive. Like I said, she is bossy and loud.
Now the neighbor is worried if his dog bites back we will call for him to put down the pitbull because of his breed.
We wouldn't call for such a thing, but I understand that my word isn't enough. That said, he refuses to let our dogs meet because he has determined my dog "doesn't like" theirs.
Now I have to take my dog out on a leash in my own backyard instead of letting her use the doggy door like we have been all along.
I think this is ridiculous. They mentioned putting up a mesh to cover the spaces in the fence, but doubt they will follow through. AITA for requiring they put up this mesh so we don't have to limit my dog's use of our own yard?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
xV4HdzghVEmSWQAO890Y9UUGtMURGg7g
|
9vo0lc
|
{
"description": "keeping my dogs off the leash",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for keeping my dogs off the leash?
|
I own two medium sized mutts that are so loyal and would never hurt anyone unless that person tried to hurt me. Because of this I keep them off the leash on walks in the park. Most people seem neutral but some individuals will mildly panic and yell that my dogs should be on a leash AND muzzled. One of them is naughty and will sometimes approach a passerby to smell them but it's never aggressive. Because of this, I clip them back on the leash when there's a small child passing by since parents especially tend to overreact. I should add that there is no law regarding having your dog on a leash in my city.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
W57ip3GzfiTtzEvgGQRjajPmD91lpYQf
|
ap1zzk
|
{
"description": "feeling bad about my relationship (unsure of whether to continue) after learning about SO's bad history",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for feeling bad about my relationship (unsure of whether to continue) after learning about SO's bad history?
|
I'm going through a lot of pain right now after learning my girlfriend was sexploited basically in middle school online by someone she doesn't know. That and the other things in the past (some physical, some not) hurt for me in multiple dimensions at once and I'm not sure I could ever be at peace with it. I'm strongly considering breaking up but I know it was the past and not against me and even before I was in the picture. I know she's a victim for the particular episode too, and I don't think badly of her. It's just hard for me to deal with and I don't know what to do. We're a few months in and deeply happy. If the past was better I would be so much more confident.
Also, she drinks and smokes and I never have and never will, she's into that sort of social lifestyle too and even though I trust her deeply I just am so uncomfortable with it all. Not sure if that's reasonable of me but I'm just giving as much context as I can. She's also much less concerned with all of this past than I am. It's not like it's easy for her, but she's just suited to better deal with or at worst compartmentalize that stuff than I. Sucks that I can't follow that example.
Am I the asshole? I feel like it but I don't know what to do. I really don't know if I can do this, yet outside of what I outlined we're an extremely above average relationship deeply happy with each other. I hope it sounds half as shitty as it is rn.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
mtLJPo1M23021SsbN8oHHvrLqLl6xMbp
|
b5ygp7
|
{
"description": "not giving my manager money for their birthday",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving my manager money for their birthday?
|
TLDR: I'm poor and paying off my debts. I refused to give my boss money and co-workers got on my case for it.
​
I make the least among the people in my department.
It's livable but I'm not popping champagne and caviar.
My manager however does make over $200k per year before bonuses.
His birthday card was passed around I refused to donate money citing my diligence in paying down my debt and getting ever closer to no student loan. A couple of my co-workers tried to guilt me by saying, "Well you get a cake for your birthday."
We lump everyone's birthday's into a single cake based on birth month.
So my birthday is not only lumped with 5 other people but it's paid by the company.
My manager however gets his own day. The day came and everyone is gathered to sing him Happy Birthday and it's totally cringey forcing a bunch of adults to sing to him. He opens a couple gifts and then starts reading through who signed his card.
Of course one of the 2 co-workers who tried to guilt me before says loudly, "XXXX didn't pitch in cuz he's too poor."
Complete with level 12 sarcasm and air quotes.
My boss responds with, "didn't everyone just get a bonus?"
Yes, yes I did. It went to the government and VISA.
His bonus was 6 times the size of mine.
He just spent a solid week running about the office telling everyone how great his, "impromptu vacation to Mexico was," complete with 15 minutes of looking at his pictures.
I don't feel that I should pay for the opportunity to work here.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
LC3fk98SXwkYBItZmesSrMijAgCwxtbq
|
ao49d1
|
{
"description": "asking for my dad's birthday present back",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA if I asked for my dad's birthday present back?
|
Last year for my dad's birthday, I bought him a FitBit Ionic which ran me about $300. His doctor told him he had to lose 30lbs because he has fatty liver, and he likes watches, so I thought it would be a thoughtful and useful gift.
He was very touched and wore it for a month, but now a year later he never uses it. He says it makes him feel like shit because he doesn't want to get healthy, and it just "tells him how bad he's doing".
It was an expensive present, and I'd use it all the time. Would I be the asshole if I asked for it back, since he doesn't use it at all?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
MTFRA9hwTZUIrtuY6UCowL0ApDj72Yjg
|
a8fkd5
|
{
"description": "reaching out to an ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for reaching out to an ex?
|
This one is really playing on my mind, idk if I'd be pulling an asshole move if I do it and I'm interesting in what y'all think. TL;DR at the bottom.
So a couple years ago I dated this guy for about a year. We'd been good friends beforehand and had amazing chemistry, and overall a really good, fulfilling relationship for both of us.
We ended up breaking up because of a situation I was going through at home. I was basically in an abusive-parent situation and they stopped me from having any kind of social life, so ex and I weren't able to see each other. He dumped me because it got too much for him to be in a relationship that had so many restrictions, we only really communicated online when we weren't in college together. Imagine being in a long distance relationship with someone who lived 10 minutes away, that's what it was like.
In retrospect, it was totally fair for him to dump me cos it really wasn't a fulfilling relationship, but at the time I was devastated, and admittedly I took the breakup pretty badly. I was young (18) and dumb, and I'm totally an asshole for the way I handled getting dumped. Crying and begging and the works. It didn't help that he still cared for me, so the breakup hurt him too. All in all it was suuuuuper messy and I regret that. We ended up losing contact, we tried to be friends but it was too messy and we were both caught up on each other. Our contact just kinda naturally died off until we stopped texting each other, and we haven't spoken since. We haven't spoken in probably about 3 years now, but still have each other on social media.
So here's the thing. I'm now out of the abusive situation that caused us to break up in the first place, and there's a small part of me that wants to reach out and see what he's up to. I feel like we were a right-person, wrong-time situation, but it's not the wrong time anymore. I'm not expecting us to instantly reunite or anything, I'm not even saying we'd still have feelings for each other. I just feel like we had great compatibility back then, he doesn't seem like he's changed much, and we could probably still be good friends, and perhaps something more than friends now that my life is in a healthier place. I genuinely don't know where it would go, but I really wanna drop him a message and see if he'd like to hang, or get coffee or something and catch up. If he isn't interested I'd be fine with that too, but I'd just like to know. Also, idk if this is relevant necessarily but I know that he's single so it's not like I'd be moving in on someone with a girlfriend or anything like that.
At the same time though, I feel like I'd maybe be an asshole for just returning myself into his life after so much time has passed. I don't want to pull up old baggage or make him uncomfortable or come off as being creepy.
WIBTA if I dropped him a line?
TL;DR - dated a boy for a year, both of us were very much in love but he dumped me because my home life was in a bad situation that affected our relationship too much. 3 years later, I'm no longer in an abusive situation at home, and think there could be a chance for us to at least be friends again, as we were really close friends before we dated. I do still have some feelings and would be open to seeing where it could go, but I'm also accepting that he might not be interested and would still value his friendship. WIBTA for reaching out to this guy and seeing if he'd like to catch up?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
py5pRdHcDyYVKOJsQlLXxrxETmIQzcxN
|
alf1y2
|
{
"description": "making too much noise",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for making too much noise?
|
To preface this post I would like to give some information on the house set up. I live with two other roommates in a 3 bedroom house. Two of the bedrooms are upstairs with one being connected via a small hallway to the living room downstairs.
So last night all three of us where in the living room watching tv together around 11 pm. Eventually around 12 my downstairs roommate chooses to retire to his room while myself and the other roommate stay up chatting and shooting the shit. It gets to be pretty late, around 1:40, and we’re still in the living room making noise. However, for one reason or another both of us got pretty boisterous at one point over a topic. This incited my downstairs roommate to yell at us to shut up from his room and SLAM his door shut.
Normally I would feel bad and embarrassed if I kept one of my roommates up for being loud and would be incredibly inclined to apologize, but this was not the case this time around. I felt like his extreme lack of tact and ability to treat us with some decency sucked up all the possible empathy I had for the situation. Not once did he come out of his room to ask us to please quiet down because he was going to sleep, instead he instantly resorted to aggression and violence to deliver his message. AITA for making too much noise and “instigating the reaction”?
P.S. This was a first time incident, it’s not like he has had issues with us keeping him up before, and if he has he’s never mentioned it to either of us.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
WNOCwCjwwhLAbHVMo0qrKJyoY6vffMdR
|
aoz8q9
|
{
"description": "declining to date a guy even though we'd probably be great together",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for declining to date a guy even though we'd probably be great together?
|
I'm finishing up my freshman year of college and this guy has been very straight forward about liking me and possibly wanting to date me. At first, I thought I liked him too, he was funny, into the same things as me, and attractive. He is a really sweet guy, he talks with everyone and is very outgoing.
What really threw me off though were a few things, one being the amount he drank. I'd say 8/10 times we hung out during our "thing" he was drunk or tipsy. It really bothered me because when he was like that he'd only talk about himself, and he could talk for hours. He would also stick around for hours in my room, even when I was trying to get work done or on the phone with friends... I really enjoy my alone time, and told him this, but he never really stopped. He also slept on my bed all the time, and this is a big guy in a small one-person college bed. I could hardly get sleep, my roommate felt so bad she let me sleep in her bed while she went to sleep in someone else's room one night.
In the end, I let him know I thought we were better as friends... there was definitely a connection and he said he wanted to take me out on a date before I "ended" it, I agreed. That never happened though, I don't know if he forgot or just decided not to. There was one other time before where we went to Mcdonalds and he called it a date, but I wouldn't really count it.
We're still friends, but sometimes I feel like I was the ahole for asking him to leave my room or getting mad at him for sleeping on my bed. All my friends thought we would be good together and don't really understand why I ended it. I just got so annoyed and bothered by him hanging around for hours on end.
I've never dated before, and so I really can't tell if I am an ahole for ending it over those things or if I was in the right and that wasn't normal.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0SmcvWfA9E3vDGdNU2BO2kalseUwfsrT
|
ame9k8
|
{
"description": "changing my pair the last second",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for changing my pair the last second?
|
I don't know how to start this but if I'm wrong don't hate me.
So this week we got an assignment at school to find a pair to make a comic about our city's history and at the time I thought we had to make it the same week so I was quite desperate. I wanted to be with my best friend but this time she said she already chose a pair so (because all of my other friends weren't at school that day) I accepted my quite "interesting" friend's request which I'll call M from now on. I think M couldn't find any one else either so that's why she asked me.
After few days our teacher writes that we need just to prepare for doing the comic and bring a A3 size paper for friday.
(The next day after the assignment my one friend which I really like and almost never got problems with (I'll call him R) comes back so I naturally thought about switching pairs)
I brought a piece of paper that day when we needed to say our teams, so the the teacher could write it down. I told R that we could be a pair and he liked the idea. After I spoke to R I came up to M and said that I really wanted to be with R and even one of her best friends was at school then too so I just just sed that M could be with her.
She got really mad at me and called me a bitch and said that I could at least told her to bring her own piece of paper and that we already set teams. I felt really bad and chose to be with R and the teacher already wrote it down. (We did not use the paper that lesson)
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
aJITQwJwW25NKI9T6mSU1919HmWyv1fc
|
b4g5fy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a trip",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a trip?
|
First time posting and on mobile.
My friend asked a friend group on facebook messenger if we wanted to go skiing next winter. I said "nope, I'd rather go sledding". I was then called a 5 year old and other insults. So in return I said he was trying to show how manly he was since his ego was hurt. He then said I should be willing to try new things, but I told him I already said no. I then said he could take other friends in the group who wanted to go, or make some new ones. Another friend said I was being too defensive. While the first friend said why am I getting mad. I then said that friend kept trying to call me out, when I already said no to the trip, because everytime the friend replied, he specifically was tagging me and asking why I don't want to go or why I should try new things.
Our chat consists of 10+ people, only one has said he would try it, and I said I wasn't going to. Insults are pretty normal in our group, but the constant questioning was getting annoying.
Am I the asshole for saying I won't go or try it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
laY6NFBh514htkUqo7IrWPOUbHc3bL5O
|
b3fqn7
|
{
"description": "ignoring someone at the bus station",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring someone at the bus station
|
​
My friend (15) and I (17) were approached by a guy in his early 20s. Let's call him J. He thought we were college students and from a very good art college in our state (RISD). We told him we were just high schoolers. We basically begin to talk to him every morning at the bus station waiting for our bus while he waited for his to go to work. One day, he had this idea of collaborating with us making up a design for a sweater, because he told us his younger brother had a clothing line and would hook us up with his younger brother to get a contract and money from him. The thing is, J had no way for us to contact, no phone, no social media or anything. It's pretty weird because he always talks about wanting to get into RISD when he doesn't have anything out there to promote himself. My friend and I worked on an idea, and I drew it on a canvas he brought us. J drew his part and wanted us to paint over it. We're both sucky at painting btw, and his part was...kind of bad. One thing we had caught on before our painting assignment from him was how he said he was going to put it on his portfolio for RISD and credit us. He stated before that he'd always wanted to go to RISD and pursue a career in graphics design. Okay, we only agreed to do the sweater designs to hopefully get some cash, not this.
​
After that we had a feeling he might have been using us for his portfolio and found it a little uncomfortable. We decided to ignore him for 3 weeks (we had a 2 week break and another one before break). We're still trying to decide if we should just give him the canvas and never talk to him again, or not. I mean it's been 3 weeks. We don't know what to say to him, and we feel pretty bad that he won't make it into his dream school but uncomfortable for using our idea for that. Are we the assholes in this situation?
TL;DR: Older guy offers to help my friend and I with setting us up with his younger brother for a sweater design and possible contract, uses our design idea and combines his to just declare at the end that he wants it for his portfolio. Ignores him for 3 weeks.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HK96gJg30UfEAmO7FKWlop5Wk1ohruGx
|
au3bhy
|
{
"description": "not reciprocating affection from my \"friends?\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not reciprocating affection from my “friends?”
|
That title makes me sound like the biggest douche of all time but that’s really about the long and short of it.
I have several friends who I don’t see often due to our separate lives, but we all share a text group chat together. Often I will be bombarded with messages expressing endless love and adoration for the entire group even though, at least to me, many of the people in it have become like strangers to me simply from such long time apart from most of them. I refuse to express that love back because I don’t want to lie. I shared this privately with one of the people in that chat I remain close to, and she told me it was “incredibly fucked up,” but I just can’t bring myself to agree.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dkskVxRiWBpwkRIDwFDJYiZNO3KDt3Za
|
b7u226
|
{
"description": "refusing to give up my dog? my boyfriend doesn't like my dog",
"pronormative_score": 59,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for refusing to give up my dog? My boyfriend doesn’t like my dog
|
Two years ago, my boyfriend and I lived separately. At the time, I had my dog, she was 12 years old and my best friend of life. Shortly before we were to move in together, she passed away. It was at this time that my boyfriend adopted a puppy. When his puppy was six months old I told him I wanted a puppy of my own because I’ve been depressed since my dog passed away. He refused. We broke up for a month due to other issues, and while we were apart, I got a puppy. When we got back together, my boyfriend was so upset. He said it’s too hard with two untrained puppies, so he made my give my puppy to my parents for over a year (he said my puppy could move back in when it was older and better behaved). My puppy is a male chihuahua and is pretty territorial and aggressive, so I got him fixed. After a year and a half of my puppy living with my parents, I just got him fixed two days ago and brought him to my house. My boyfriend has no patience and wants me to bring my dog back to my parents for them to keep. My dog did growl pretty badly at his dog yesterday, but has been calm ever since (before he got fixed he would growl and bark constantly so I’d say that this is a major improvement). My boyfriend says I have to give my dog back to my parents. I don’t want to. He says I should give me dog up to the pound if my parents can’t take him. I said this is not fair, he’s going back on his promise of me getting to keep my puppy. What do I do? Am I the asshole for getting the pup while we were broken up? I gave the puppy to my parents for well over a year and held up my side of the bargain. Now that it’s time for my dog to live here, my boyfriend refuses. Please help AITA?
**tl;dr** when my dog was 12 years old she sadly passed away, so I got a puppy a few months later to heal my sadness. My boyfriend made me give the puppy to my parents for a year because he says it’s too hard and that we can take him back once he’s older. The time has come, I got him fixed, and besides him being a little growly sometimes, he’s a pretty good dog. My boyfriend has no patience and wants me to give him back to my parents. I don’t want to do that and don’t think it’s fair. How do I convince my boyfriend to let my dog stay? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 57,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 59,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
uLSSzwcRtpdHj1eZBPVCpccqvBwPW0g9
|
9tku3o
|
{
"description": "asking someone to pay repairs for damage accidentally caused",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for asking someone to pay repairs for damage accidentally caused?
|
Let me preface this by saying that I’m a university student.
Today a friend accidentally knocked my coffee over, spilling it all over the keyboard and trackpad. I cleaned up it as best as I could, and everything seems to be working fine. However, if it does need repairs, WIBTA to insist that she should pay for the repairs? Or at least half of them?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
fTjsDc3NWG8C4t8DJFdbHE9ylQdXl4b5
|
aq8t0c
|
{
"description": "refusing and getting annoyed that my brother constantly nags me to drive 4 hours each way to baby sit my 2 nephews",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing and getting annoyed that my brother constantly nags me to drive 4 hours each way to baby sit my 2 nephews.
|
Backstory: My brother lives with his fiance and their 2 kids, both aged below 5. I'm the godfather to these kids. They live around a 4 hour drive away from me. My brother doesn't live near anyone else in my family who are also around a 4 hour drive away. He does live near quite a lot of his fiance's family. My family live closer to me but none of them drive. My brother is 35, I'm 25.
What's happened: So my brother and his fiance find it very difficult to get time alone to go out for drinks, time alone etc. His fiance's family refuse to babysit the 2 kids so that they can go out. This has led to him asking me to do it. I've done it 5/6 times in the past. This involves a 4 hour drive each way and all the petrol costs etc, plus all the time i completely lose out of my weekend. He asks me to do it a lot and altough he doesn't always explicitly say it, it's clear he just wants me to come and visit so that i can baby sit and they can go out. He'll sometimes give me a portion of the fuel cost, but i still always end up short changed.
After like the 8th time of doing this in a just under 2 year period, i really started to get frustrated at it. I feel like it's not fair that i'm even asked to drive 8 hours (there and back), sit alone bored while the kids sleep, pay out of my own pocket for this experience, and lose my whole weekend as a consequence. Out of frustration i simply started telling him i couldn't make it for one reason or another each time he asked. He asked at least twice a month. I've told him i'm not a fan of it.
So recently, me and my girlfriend planned to go visit Him during a week off me and her had. We would visit on the Sunday. He’d been nagging me to come Saturday and when I said I can’t but we’ll come down Sunday, he says no don’t bother there’s no room to stay. I snapped at him saying I’ve got a life I’m not a baby sitter etc.
All goes quiet, we don’t go in the end. Until I get a message today saying how I should make more effort to see the boys etc and how I’m
Being a terrible godfather, all that stuff. I kinda snapped at him here.
AITA for snapping at him here? I said that he’s not angry about that, he’s angry because I won’t be on demand baby sitter?
I want to see the boys but not if it’s on the terms of me being baby sitter every time
At my detriment. Is this bad? I’ve said if
It’s for a day out etc, I’ll always come down.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pxxREHVO2XBrNwqEvq72h65nBBNAbqhD
|
apko81
| null |
AITA to my neighbour?
|
My neighbour downstairs is a friend who we're normally on great terms with. She is generally very reasonable, and we help her out A LOT. As in, I clean her house and litterbox for her b/c of her illness. We don't bitch about the noise she makes or the fact her partner hotboxes the goddamn building everyweek.
On Friday my SO's friend came into town. We went out to the bar to meet friends and came home after, where our guest started being fairly loud. We asked him to be quiet but he kept forgetting. This went on for less than an hour.
My neighbour ended up storming upstairs, screaming at us. She shouted at my partner and I and our guests (who happen to be potential employers to my partner). No text, no call, just banging on my door screaming. This is the first and only time we have been loud or had a complaint.
I sent her a genuine apology the next day which she accepted, and she responded with two passive agressive texts. I thought we were cool but this morning she turned her stereo on full blast and has been going full tilt for 6 hours. She knows my partner works from home and sleeps during the day. It's so loud that my partner can use Shazam in our place and it picked it up perfectly. He sent me an audio clip and I thought he was playing the music and pranking me.
She's being such a petulant child that I'm tempted to just end the friendship. AITA?
TLDR: loud guest cause neighbour friend to scream at us, 2 days later she is on hour 6 of blasting music.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
U1gKjUPUfp54AVnP0wgnqgWhSFUHzv1c
|
aw1rp1
|
{
"description": "randomly playing anonymous music at work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for randomly playing anonymous music at work?
|
I secretly have access to the music at many of my work’s locations. They have control as well, but I can add songs to the queue or change the station completely.
So it started innocently enough.
Prince, Lets Go Crazy
Europe, The Final Countdown
Etc.
Some songs were allowed to play through. others were clearly axed mid-song and music changed. Never played any explicit lyrics.
A small group of us are “in” on it and think it’s hilarious. We expected the password to be changed or that location would have said something in passing to someone else. And the gig would be up.
But we even tried to play songs that would clearly indicate someone was trolling them.
Rick Astley, Never Gonna Give You Up?
Nothing.
Then....things changed.
Enter: Baby Shark
Baby Shark almost NEVER gets all the way through the song. (And it’s only 96 seconds long)
It became a challenge. “Can we get it through today?” “I can’t believe I’ve never heard anyone say anything about it.”
So now, once or twice a week I put on Baby Shark.
For months.
I’ve never heard a single word of it.
Until. This. Week.
In a non-work event, one employee from that location was around one from ours, and Baby Shark came on. And this prompted the story to be told, unknowingly to one of us. Apparently that location manager is livid when it happens. He will stop whatever he is doing to go change it.
I’m told that one time he happened to be in the bathroom when it happened and he was swearing up a storm because he couldn’t turn it off.
He still doesn’t know it’s me. Our company has a good natured reaction to simple joking around as long as work gets done and nobody has ever gone too far. But his reaction has our small group who are “in the know” divided.
So, AITA if we continue? I truly believe that one day something will be said in passing and the gig will be up and we will laugh about it for a couple days. But I am starting to question if the juice is worth the squeeze.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
dr97kbbah2utLQeuZNvkSlt7GT9A88RE
|
b4b5h1
|
{
"description": "thinking of excuses to avoid my friend's sister's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA? For thinking of excuses to avoid my friend’s sister’s wedding
|
She did not invite me yet since they just started planning but when her sister got engaged she was like “im gonna invite you to my sister weddings she just got engaged!!!!”
You guys might say “it’s her sister’s wedding! Not hers! Not a big deal”.
In my culture it is a big deal honestly. They usually throw huge weddings here and if one of your siblings gets married you get a certain amount of cards to invite your own friends. If people decide not to attend a wedding they HAVE TO tell the family that they are not attend so they can give the card to someone else since only a certain amount of people are invited because of the number of chairs chairs and the space.
This girl is my only best friend so we’re really close i just personally dont feel like attending her sister’s wedding. I don’t know anyone there and my friend will be busy with her relatives, friends and making sure everything goes well so she’ll be running the whole time.
I hate wedding honestly and i feel miserable there.
I usually go out of politeness when relatives invite me. But this time i just dont want to. Thinking about it gives me anxiety and im not exaggerating.
Im thinking of making up a lie and telling her that I’m traveling. It would be very very odd and rude if i told her that i dont want to. She’ll tell her family and they’ll all go “wtf?”
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qAWKlOPY4CjzmBwGK6FeVHjwXsAP3AmN
|
b022uj
|
{
"description": "asking for a selfish request",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTA for asking for a selfish request?
|
throwaway for my friend checks my main sometimes and i rather he not know this
Context: I (16M) have feelings for a girl (17F) that I like and so I asked her out, but she rejected me. I was fine with this and thought that over time my feelings for her would dissipate. Its been almost 6 months now and we are still good friends, however my feelings for her are still the same. I have come to the conclusion that I should talk to her about and ask her to tell me blatantly that it is never going to happen. To me this seems like a selfish request and possible could be on a asshole level.
So would I be a asshole to ask her to do this for me?
​
ps I know this seems like a small issue, but I just cant get it out of my mind. Thanks y'all
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
w1gLgQNYuKQpYM5qV6tIqUGWwaNeljO5
|
ao4qgx
|
{
"description": "telling my gf to call off her people who are going to jump me or I'll break it of with her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my GF to call off her people who are gonna jump me or I’ll break it of with her?
|
My GF is really popular among the guys and I’ve just caught wind of plans to jump me because they don’t like the way I speak to her or something like that.
I just told her to tell them that if they hurt me, she’s done associating with them. She’s really passive and I don’t know how she’ll react, but I feel as though I shouldn’t even have to ask this of her.
I’m not particularly scared of any of them, but I’d rather avoid fighting because there’s no reason we can’t just talk this out. This would be easier if I knew any of them but I only know 3, two of them I just met this morning. One was hostile and the other wasn’t. The hostile one seems to already hate me, despite never speaking a word to me.
Am I the asshole if I break it off with her if she doesn’t give them an ultimatum? Not that they wouldn’t still fight me, but it’s kind of a matter of principle.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
5qu6RsvyKayMWrNpjj1ATLxb49F5ZmvD
|
b7v7ix
|
{
"description": "telling my mom that if she commented on my weight again that I'd cancel my wedding and just elope",
"pronormative_score": 127,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my mom that if she commented on my weight again that I’d cancel my wedding and just elope
|
So my boyfriend and I got engaged last month and we are so happy. However I am ready to cancel the wedding and instead elope because my family (primarily mom and grandma) will not stop bringing up my weight. Full disclosure, I’m not in the best shape I’d like to be (I weigh around 170 pounds and am 5’5 ) so I could definitely stand to lose 10-20 pounds which I plan on doing anyways over the next two years before the wedding
The first thing my mom asked me after getting engaged is if I had an idea for dresses yet and if I was going to lose weight for the wedding. I said I was planning to drop about 10-20 lbs but instead they insisted I should lose at least 50-60 or else I would regret my wedding day forever. I’ve only been engaged for about a month but I’ve heard these comments enough times that if I had a dollar for each time, I’d have enough to pay for my wedding and then some
Now background story. My mom had me at 22 and decided she was not ready to raise a child so she left me at my grandparents when I was less than 1 and let them raise me. Throughout my upbringing she was not there and constantly missed parts of my life. The biggest one being that she used to promise to come to my birthdays, school/sports events but then never showed. She claimed me every year on her taxes but never gave the money to either myself or my grandparents. My mom also has never apologized for not being there and instead thinks I owe her so much and that she’s the reason I’m so successful (I’m not that successful, I just have a normal middle class job working for a start up and save carefully as much as I can).
Today after another slew of comments I decided to text my mom since I was simply at my breaking point. I sent “this is the last time I am saying this but if one more person in this family comments on my weight or that I’m too fat to get married then I will cancel the wedding and elope and that’s that. You are free to tell grandma if you like as well.”
My mom has now turned the whole situation on me and stated that she never said anything like that to me and that if my grandma was saying things like that then I should tell her instead. I was like ok well, maybe I’m being harsh so I then tried to explain to her how hurtful stuff like that is and that she absolutely does bring up my weight every time we speak and not to deny it. I asked her to put herself in my shoes and imagine if she was engaged and her mom was bringing up her weight constantly. My mom is now saying that I’m just using her as a punching bag and that I’ve treated her like this my whole life which I don’t understand since we’ve barely had a relationship for a majority of my life.I’m so frustrated and been bawling me eyes out all night since I really am considering just eloping and cutting my family off completely.
Sorry for the wall of text... am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 126,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 127,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ug8Qy9nUa2BBcYH0w5bLXD6mzloz9cmp
|
acz7t2
|
{
"description": "taking this vacation",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking this vacation?
|
So I am the oldest and moved across the country (USA) for a job away from my parents and I am complete financially independent from them. I recently was invited to take a trip to Asia with some relatives on my dad's side of the family (paying my own way) and I told my parents and they are mad (almost livid) that I would do such a thing saying that my dad would love to go but he can't because of work. Additionally, my dad has just gotten out of the hospital with a serious but non life threatening infection which is getting better each day. They are guilt tripping me for even talking about taking a vacation with my dad's side of the family after what he has just gone through, but the vacation isn't for like 4 months
My plan is even to visit my family right before the vacation to be with my dad on his birthday. Am I being unreasonable here? My dad/family would never go regardless of their health because of their fear of flying. They are throwing every reason to disapprove as they can such as saying its not safe (Singapore is very safe), i should spend more time with them, etc...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NVlLAx4qz1RE5wQXoLbBnDodfUXVU1Is
|
aqrw1v
|
{
"description": "sending Jesus packing",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sending Jesus packing?
|
My wife and I live in the same small-ish town as my in laws. We get along fine, they mostly keep their distance, we have dinner or hang out probably once every 2 weeks.
About 15 years ago my mother in law was in a very serious car accident and ever since has been strictly catholic, my father in law and wife are catholic but not very seriously. I’m not really religious. We all respect each others belief/lack there of. On the rare occasion my wife and I go to church (Christmas, Easter, and weddings basically) I go through the right motions, and I won’t eat before grace any time we eat together. And she doesn’t guilt us too much outside of Christmas/Easter.
Anyway, my wife and I moved into a new house after renting for a couple years. MIL helps us move and helps organizing the rooms, kitchen, etc. We were very grateful. But the next day I notice a brand new crucifix smack dab in the middle of the living room wall, which is obviously not my choice of decor, and not my wife’s either. So I take it down and put it in a drawer.
A couple days later I am putting groceries away and what do I see inside the pantry? Good old J-Man silently judging my choice of non-perishables. I took him down and placed him on the front step in the garage, so next time she came she could take him home. No words were exchanged, but I was kind of pissed and I’m sure MIL was too.
AITA for taking down Jesus? On the one hand, I know she genuinely thinks it’s good for our home. But on the other, I respect her choice of religion, I think she should respect our lack of one. (I should be clear, wife was not on board with Crucifix either, she would have tolerated him in the pantry but I took it down mostly because I was mad she rooted through our drawers to find him and put him up.)
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
D10tWcNK9gGB3pu8xJsfx5IE95du92Cx
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aku60e
| null |
wibta if me and my friend told a mate he needs to go to a class on how to better use your money.
|
so my friend can't save for shit he is 23 and we live together
he has 0 savings and whenever he needs money for anything he calls up his mother and she "lends it to him" he never pays it back no matter how often he says he will. she has given him 500$ over 7 months to help pay rent and Bills ect.
she also bought him a ps4 controller after he repeatedly asked her for two weeks because he could not afford one.
(I'm 20 and have some savings put away for any accidents and shit. I was never taught i just did it. my parents also never give me money and so I've had to deal with fuckups on my own)
his sister and me want to enroll him in a money saving course of some kind so he can learn how to better save his money.
he gets 320 on Tuesday and it's all gone by Thursday.
then for the rest of the week he calls up family and askes for money.
his sister did a rough calculation and believes he owes the family around a grand.
wibta if we did this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
WVjy0MivysNhM6VlzHMpYK76sAzsk2V2
|
a862tm
|
{
"description": "asking for a rent reduction because my roommate's girlfriend is here all the time",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking for a rent reduction because my roommate's girlfriend is here all the time?
|
Backstory: I rented a very small room in this dude's apt last summer and all has been going quite well other than my dog *really* not liking him for some reason.
This past month and a half my roomie's friend-now-girlfriend I'm assuming by the smell of ass and humidity that occasionally wafts from his room in the morning, has been over *at least* 6 days a week. I have to wake up at 4 every morning sometimes 6 days a week to go to a very physical job. Either he and her or just her will go out at night returning around 1-2:30 in the morning and it wakes me up every time. My days including travel are 11-13 hrs long and sometimes it would be nice to not have people cramped up in here every day. I haven't said anything.
A week ago she comes in and is repeatedly coughing. All the time. I'm thinking great, now I'm gonna get sick and sure enough I do. Because of this I missed a day of work $ (all I could afford to) and had to buy extra asthma meds to prevent me from having to go to the hospital for days on end. I don't have insurance yet so this was out of pocket.
I'd gotten better, she stayed away for a day, returning with a cough again. I am now back to being sick, this time losing my voice.
This has been irritating me because her presence costing me money, peace of mind and sleep. It's not like I'm asking to split the rent 3 ways, just $50 off to what I think is fair given the size of the room, my dog and the living conditions.
I proposed the rebate and he got upset and defensive saying that she works nights and only comes here to sleep. Not entirely true but I digress. My response was that he could have let me know that ahead of time as a courtesy, since that's what I would have had to do if the situation were reversed. He nodded on that point. As it stands I actually pay more than half the rent. With the adjustment this doesn't change.
He said sure this time but that in January it goes back to regular rent. I don't see this as fair and will be looking for alternate accommodation but am just wondering if I'm really out of line here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
aey3j4
|
{
"description": "wanting to talk about my anxieties before seeing my exes parents again",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I wanted to talk about my anxieties before seeing my exes parents again?
|
So boyfriend and I broke up/went on a break back in September. Pretty much since the break up we have been working on ourselves and our relationship in hopes to be back together one day. We lived together, but both moved back with parents after we split.
We see each other either out and about or he will drive 1hr to my place when my mom is gone for the day. I’m not ready for him to see my mom yet. He has been asking me to come over pretty much every day for like a month, but I keep saying no because I am not ready to see his parents either (and both his parents work from home so I would definitely see them). I was very close to his family, and losing them in the break up was very devastating.
I don’t want to just go over to his house after he tells his parents “oh btw, khlodashian is coming over”. Because I know that’s what he will do. When I told him I would feel more comfortable with him asking if I could come for dinner because it feels more respectful of his parents/their home, and of me, his response was just “they don’t care” and “they will be more respecting when they see how happy I am, and they won’t see that unless they see us together”.
I was also in a deep depression and was dealing with health issues the last time his parents saw me, and I don’t want to see them until I feel confident with where I am in my life and I have tangible things to show for my recovery (weight loss, confidence, my drivers license -an inside joke with his family-, a job in my field, etc). I simply just wanted to be more on my feet before I saw them. I hadn’t told him this part because it was something I only realized with my therapist on Wednesday. This is what I wanted to talk to him about.
Last night I told him that I know I can’t avoid it forever, and that I just want to share with him my anxieties before I go to his house, just to feel like I have support. He lost his shit, told me he’s fed up with asking me to come over and me rejecting him. Now he isn’t speaking to me.
AITA for just wanting to share with him why I felt anxious before going? Or should I have just agreed to go since telling him wasn’t going to change how his parents felt about me
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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mLfnPfXvuwrNzx9K5hTiqJThA0oGOSHv
|
b1ue31
|
{
"description": "starting a friendship with someone my fwb is insecure about",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for starting a friendship with someone my fwb is insecure about?
|
Throwaway because reasons and sorry for the poorly phrased title. And sorry for long backstory, tldr at end.
I started dating a guy (L) a couple months ago but it’s casual. We’re extremely different when it comes to our views of the world, politics, all that stuff and have little in common. For those reasons I could never seriously date him. I’m just there for the physical stuff and I thought he was too.
He had me meet some of his friends last weekend. One of them had a friend in town (C) who L doesn’t know very well. C and I hit it off but in a friendly manner. We shared music playlists and made plans to do yoga via Skype (he lives in another state). All of this was out in the open so I wasn’t trying to be shady or something. To be honest, I think he’s great and it might be something I’d pursue if he wasn’t so far away. But that being said, there was nothing in my body language, tone of voice, etc that indicated anything more than being friendly. I treated L’s female friends the same way, I just didn’t connect with them as well.
We exchanged numbers and I left with L. L was nearly blackout drunk and asked me if I was having fun with my “boy” at the bar. When I asked him to explain he sarcastically said I looked like I was having a great time with C and should have just gone home with him. I told L he’s not my boyfriend and there’s no ring on my finger so I can talk to anyone I want. He dropped it but was then being aggressive about things like trying to find our Uber, how cold it was, just being a brat about everything. I realized drunk L is a very different person than sober L and it was super unattractive.
I don’t like L all that much anymore and don’t want to continue seeing him. That said, I’m not sure if my comment back to him was mean, or if I shouldn’t have even been talking to C in the first place. My friends are a little divided- some say it’s none of L’s business who I talk to and others say it was shitty for me to get his number/make plans when L was sitting a foot away.
AITA?
Tldr; became friends and made plans with a guy while out with the person I’m casually dating. Guy I’m dating didn’t appreciate it, so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
pS0nS1w2rQxfjnbZFa3Iq55Tyrjm5X06
|
agbwwo
|
{
"description": "not caring about an ex's suicide",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not caring about an ex’s suicide?
|
My ex and I were together for a little over a year and when we got together I was 17 and they were 19. Based on the age thing alone my family was iffy about it but I didn’t listen because we met when we were both in high school and it was only 2 years. However I think the age thing was a cover for what they really wanted to tell me. I wore rose colored glasses and missed every red flag that was thrown my way, and there were a lot. A few include he would get in and out of relationships really quickly, he was diagnosed schizophrenic, had a violent past and gave a girl a hickey when she was dating his friend. He lied a lot too so he could very possibly have lied about any of that stuff but as far as I know all of that was true, except for the last one, I know that happened.
A couple months in he started getting manipulative and aggressive. He would gaslight me, roughly grab me when we would argue if I tried to step away and even choked me a couple of times. I tried breaking up with him a couple of times but he would always imply suicide so I stayed with him because I felt guilty. Finally a little over a year ago he didn’t listen to me when I told him no so I couldn’t take it anymore, that happening to me was always one of my biggest fears and it broke me. I broke up with him and he finally said “I’m going to kill my self. I called the police so they could deal with him and in summary they told me he’s sleazy and he wouldn’t actually do it, he was just trying to manipulate me. He tried to contact, and threaten, me a couple of times after but eventually he blocked me.
The break up took place October 2017, It turns out a few days ago he commuted suicide and all I feel is relief. I sort of feel bad that I don’t feel bad since my mom seemed upset but my mom also won’t eat meat because of how animals are treated so of course she cares about a human person getting hurt. I on the other had just feel so damn relieved. I’ll cry buckets if I see an animal or kid getting hurt. I’m not heartless I think, but maybe I am the asshole, I mean this is a human that was in such a shitty place that they killed themselves. I’m genuinely confused about this whole situation.
Am I the asshole for not caring and frankly do you think this is my fault?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3tHfJeeWTGZ7FYTIkAcqdkfcgY4mQoIN
|
aeanul
|
{
"description": "reprimanding girls at my school about mocking people with mental health issues",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for reprimanding girls at my school about mocking people with mental health issues?
|
So, I am 13 and in Middle School. I am pretty arrogant and a bit of a hot head when it comes to subjects that are sensitive to me. A lot of things that people say at my school about mental health issues and such definitely don’t sit well with me considering my Mom has Bi-polar disorder, and Schizophrenia. I, on the other hand, have anxiety and depression. Most people in my family have been diagnosed with mental disorders so my siblings and I all have our own issues. Anyways... a few weeks ago (before Winter Break) I saw on Instagram, a girl in my class posted a video of her friend cutting herself, and she was just watching. I was so infuriated about this, so I called her, and asked if her friend was okay. Like I mentioned, I am extremely arrogant and I find it hard to let these things slide. I asked the girl how in the hell could she watch and let alone record her friend harming herself, and she took the video down. Her excuse was her friend was “pretending” or as I saw it,mocking, someone who has depression. I got really angry with her and told her that these issues are not jokes, and that she has no idea what it’s like to have these problems and be ridiculed for them. So, am I the asshole for reprimanding these girls on the behalf of mental health patients including myself? Or was it not my place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
dWWoRPKZSQMmrhqD8UXVsJ0D0Am0HQo7
|
a58e8v
|
{
"description": "responding back with sarcasm in response to a customer's sarcasm",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for responding back with sarcasm in response to a customer's sarcasm?
|
Working in fast food can be very busy. Recently we were busy to the point that we had to stop taking orders at the register until the already pending orders were completed. A customer was waiting in line during this point.
When I was finally able to take his order, the conversation went like this:
*proceeds to take order*
Customer: great customer service you guys got
Me: thanks we try
Customer: I'll be sure to write a great review
Me: thanks I appreciate it
*a few minutes later as I hand him the food*
Customer: appreciate the sarcasm too
Me: thanks
It was a really rough shift and I wasn't really in the mood to be some guy's punching bag.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3IEsNx7ZjmqLUV2zKQ1AHsoLQ8btF57V
|
9vqfqb
|
{
"description": "wanting a partner that motivates me to be a better person",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting a partner that motivates me to be a better person?
|
Is it unfair to put that on someone's shoulders? I realize happiness should come from within yourself but a person has to find a way to push themselves somehow, so is it unjust to want your partner to be this way, even if you don't expressly tell them to do this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
OilobeQFRGBMRkqQqz84i7OSvEpdUvx9
|
ag99ze
|
{
"description": "answering my boyfriend's question about my large \"bodycount\" honestly",
"pronormative_score": 194,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for answering my boyfriend's question about my large "bodycount" honestly?
|
Hello AITA...I loved reading this sub but always thought the times when I was an asshole was pretty cut and dry...yet here I am.
Dating an amazing new guy for about 2 months, definitely developed feelings for him and I find myself trying ways to squeeze in "I love you" to see how he responds, but so far haven't. He is the guy I can see marrying, having kids with and growing old together. He's amazingly handsome, great job, athletic, charming and funny and amazing in bed.
After we got done having sex last night he said he had something very awkward to ask me, I was a little worried that he was going to say something to ruin his seemingly perfect interior and exterior. But he said he wanted to talk about how many partners we've had in the past. I told him flat out I didn't think it was very relevant and that I really like him now and that was all that mattered. He blurted out that I was only the second girl he's ever been with (He's 27, I'm 22). I was like blown away because as good as he is, I would figure he has broken hearts all across the country.
I told him I was not comfortable with this which he correctly took to mean I'd been with more than 2 people. He kept pressing and pressing and I kept trying to deflect but the problem was that each deflection made it seem like I'd had sex with more and more people. So finally I was just like "ok, i'll tell you but you have to be honest about that's what you really want" he said he promised he wanted to know.
So the thing is I don't know the exact number but I started having sex at 14 and went through a really long phase of sleeping with lots and lots of older guys. My best guess is that I averaged about 12 guys a year from 14 to 20...so in those terms it doesn't seem that bad, but when you blurt out "around 80" in front of a guy who you are really falling for it sounds awful.
He was like shocked...he asked again if I really meant 80. I said it could be a little more or a little less but 80 was a good guess. He freaked out, put his clothes on and left pretty much without saying a word. I tried to text him to please talk to me and the only thing he's said since last night is "I have a lot of thinking to do."
I'm devastated and don't know what to do, I really liked, even was falling in love with this guy and feel like I screwed up for doing what he asked me to do. Should I have lied to him?
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 12
}
|
RIGHT
|
FtMrjsDjD9bdRA0SZ7rc7i56VUkepDVq
|
ae6kgp
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my (ex) boyfriend after becoming close friends with someone else",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 29
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my (ex) boyfriend after becoming close friends with someone else?
|
I was in a relationship with my ex for 8 months when I met “Kyle”. Kyle was a mutual friend of my ex and we quickly became friends. I realized that Kyle and I shared a lot of interests and humor when we would hangout in group settings (my ex included). The more time I spent with him the more I realized I wasn’t a match with my ex. I changed myself for my ex and I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t just for the sake of being compatible. I felt way more comfortable with Kyle in the few weeks I knew him than I did with my (ex) BF of 8 months. I ended up breaking things off with my ex because I knew things wouldn’t be going anywhere especially after developing feelings so easily for someone else. I am now in an amazing relationship with Kyle and my friends and and family all adore him.
The breakup has caused a rift in our friend group and all my ex’s friends have branded me an emotional cheater and assume that I left my ex just to be with Kyle. The more I got to know Kyle, the more I realize how unhappy I was with my ex, does that make me the asshole and the emotional cheater everyone assumes I am? Was this an emotional affair? Am I just trying to rationalize my wrongdoing? Any feedback would help!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 29,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 5
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 29
}
|
WRONG
|
pRnwxZgeVJkjCtMzbVynqtIwPiccEvId
|
b7q7dy
|
{
"description": "reminding my fiance that I am worth it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For reminding my fiance that I am worth it?
|
Throwaway post for obvious reasons.
Just like every other couple, my fiance and I were going through a rough time. It all started with him wanting to talk. He claimed he was not happy and that I am not motivating him in other areas of his life. Initially, I thought that one of his friends hacked his account as I thought it was just a joke. Afterwards, I got angry and my reaction was not appropriate. After a few weeks, we both realized that instead of dealing with issues in our relationship, we were simply trying to hide them away; we were also taking each other for granted as we were putting our careers and interests instead of each other first. Eventually, I did not blame him for his reaction as I felt we were both guilty of letting something wonderful slide away.
We tried to talk but nothing seemed to get us to anywhere. During the arguments we both mentioned words and hurtful statements which were not really appropriate. At one point, I have asked him whether he previously had any future plans for us. His response was that he didn't as he was unsure whether I was worth it.
I felt as if my heart was breaking, I have never had anyone hurt me so much with just a few words let alone someone who I taught loved me. I cried for weeks.
We managed to list down what we really want in our relationship and give it a last shot. I tried to please him in whatever he asked for and his character suddenly changed. We're currently doing amazing. He did apologize more than once for claiming that I wasn't worth it. The thing is that now we are both working on our relationship and I feel as if I shouldn't take him for granted ever again. I also want to make it clear to remind him that he also should never take me for granted again. At times I would ask him a random question and he would answer with a 'No' and I would tease him and ask him 'Why? Is it because I'm not worth it?'. He never actually said anything about it but sometimes seems a bit upset. Yesterday we were having sex and I have put on some sexy lingerie and a high heeled shoes which he really likes. He was in front of me and out of nowhere I asked him again if he still taught I was worth it. He completely agreed. I only occasionally mention it to tease him or to joke about it. To be brutally honest, it makes me feel really good but at times I also couldn't help but feel like I am being an asshole as he did apologize and we are now doing really well.
​
Am I an Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
0RiEuhaZiohjVc9arXkUA8iV50Ue9aMu
|
b0ednl
|
{
"description": "telling a kid to me my clothes back",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for telling a kid to me my clothes back?
|
My mom has a less fortunate friend to whom she donates my brother and I’s clothes to. She accidentally donated some stuff I still wanted and still wore. I told her I was going to go over and ask for my stuff back. She told me I don’t need the clothes back and that I have plenty of other things to wear. It’s true that I probably wear one piece of clothing like once or twice a month but I paid for and still wear them. She told me there are times when her friend’s kid wears the same thing for several days. I took a trash bag over to their house and told him how my mom donated some stuff on accident and asked him if I could my stuff back. He said sure but looked really sad as I was filling the bag up and his mom kept giving me the same dirty look.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
nzTshmF7jxp4kh8214vbdFSvyWoPV5HE
|
afog3v
|
{
"description": "not using the gift my secret santa had gifted me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not using the gift my secret santa had gifted me?
|
I have this very high quality travel mug that I bought a while back and is very expensive. I like to drink certain kind of teas and coffees that we don’t have at work so I literally bring it to work everyday.
I was talking with my coworkers about how I wanted a new one because the paint started peeling of the one I have.
So Christmas comes along and we hold a secret santa kinda thing at work. And my gift turns out to be a brand new travel mug. Only problem is it was of a lower quality than the one I have.
I try to be nice and pretend to like it a lot (even though I didn’t).
I use it once outside work and find it to not hold the temperature well and leaked a few drops. So of course I decided to leave it home and go back to using my older one.
For some reason this woman at work start treating me weirdly and giving me weird looks. I didn’t really give it much thought and blamed it on my social awkwardness.
But less than a week go by and my boss calls me to her office and says that (x) is upset because I humiliated her by not using the gift she’s got me.
Up until this point I had no idea who my secret santa was. I tell my boss the reason and she gives me a somewhat decent idea, which is to bring both travel mugs with me to work and put my favorite drink in my favorite one.
I do that and tbh I just put water in (x)’s travel mug. But apparently the scheme was so obvious that she came up to me once and had this weird chat about the teas that I drink and asked to have a sip of the tea that I have in the mug she brought me.
I had to tell her that there was nothing in there, because that day I didn’t even bother to fill it with water.
She storms off.
My boss calls me to her office the same day. Laugh it off with me and tells me that (x) asked for her mug back.
I happily hand it to my boss and the next day I bring the gift box and give it to her as well.
X has tried avoiding talking to me ever since and I really do feel bad for making her feel bad.
So id ITA what could I do to make it to her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
DTBodotoUBmr2t6f4IM47XD3FzSr19jf
|
ajtykd
| null |
AITA? Special needs, special treatment?
|
I still feel bad about this even though it happened when I was around eleven years old. We had a school dance an I wanted to partner up with a good male friend of mine for a dance we were being forced to do. He already had a partner. They both offered to go in a three but I declined.
I turned towards the food table and this guy ( let’s call him Ollie) came and held out his hand. I was a loud-mouth throughout school and wasn’t known to be polite or respectful at all. I wasn’t liked by many people so my guy friend was my only option. It’s something I wish I could change but hey-ho.
Ollie was... I’m not sure honestly. His body was a bit twisted, he had a bad limp and lumps on his hand. (My child self was very judgemental and would constantly do things to shame fat people. Used to run to the back on a bus, step off of the pavement and far away onto the grass). I felt so bad and have for SO MANY years at how I reacted. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. I disliked most of the guys at my school and was known for being petty and throwing footballs off of school property.
Although Ollie didn’t play football and couldn’t, I didn’t often talk or touch anyone I didn’t know. ( germaphobe) he said very quietly “please...” there was no one else to do. I said sorry before walking into the girls toilets and staying there for a good ten minutes.
Am I the asshole for embarrassing this guy in the middle of a school dance?
TL;DR: was 11, ditched sweet disabled kid in the middle of a dance
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "having my submissive cake and eating it too",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 10
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|
AITA - Having my submissive cake and eating it too
|
I have been in a happy and loving relationship for over five years with my boyfriend. I have also been dabbling in a dom/sub role play with an external party for the past six months. To date, my boyfriend has been open and agreeable to this arrangement, until this week.
My boyfriend has provided me with an ultimatum that I need to cease my extra curricular activities and commit to a monogamous relationship, or we need to break up. He is no longer comfortable with the arrangement.
I am at a point in my life that while i love my boyfriend, i need alternative outlets to express my sexuality and am unsure if im able to be satisfied commiting to an exclusive relationship. I have tried to explain what my wants and sexual needs are, however the topic is often shut down as he is uncomfortable to discuss.
Am i the asshole to try and broach this further and open my boyfriends mindset to a more polyamorous arrangement? I want to respect my boyfriend and his feelings, but I dont want to resent him and give up an important part of my sexuality.
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HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "insulting a friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for insulting a friend
|
I have a friend who regularly comes to my room. He is a tad bit irritating. He acts like a naughty child even though he's 18. I've told him to not act like that many a times.
For example, he once cut loose the rope on which I hang my clothes, he once shut down my laptop while I was working on it and I hadn't saved my work, and he throws footwear inside my room when I've asked him not to(Well, I made that rule to keep my room clean) after which I really got angry and sent him away.
Today, he came to my room and coincidentally , there was also a dog nearby. I opened the door and saw him and the dog and exclaimed "Dogs and <his-name> are not allowed here" and shut my door in him. He locked the door from outside ( again, a childish behaviour) . But I didn't do anything so that he couldn't get the satisfaction that he irritated me.
But now, I feel bad for him cuz I said that statement . I never wanted to demean him, but I was so irritated. Am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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| null |
AITA or is my dentist?
|
Okay -- so, this is more of a "am I overreacting?" (Does that exist as a sub out there?) So -- I haven't gone to the dentist in years. I have had bad experiences and the whole ordeal makes me anxious. On top of that, I have absolutely no dental coverage. I'm disabled and on medicaid and medicare. Going to the dentist became an expensive luxury.
Part of my tooth came out and exposed the nerve. The amount of pain I'm in is absurd. Knowing my options were limited, I brought myself to the community health center first thing this morning. I was first on the standby emergency list. I waited for an hour and a half. Which, I knew I couldn't avoid a long wait. Knowing that this place is for the poor folk; I didn't have high expectations. I did my best to bear with the pain. About an hour into my wait, I overhear the desk ladies talking with another employee.
Employee one: That was x, they cancelled their root canal appointment.
Employee two: Oh! I missed my cleaning the other day. Can you put me in the schedule for that spot? I'll be right back.
Employee one: Yeah, no problem.
Then they all see that I can hear them. I hear murmuring about how "she can't take that spot because we need to get the standbys in... But I can't cancel it now and I don't want to be rude to her..."
I didn't say anything. I just sat back and tried not to focus on the pain until I was called back. The dentist was more like a salesman. I knew I could afford to get the thing extracted. He said they could do that, but he then tried to upsell me on a root canal, a replacement tooth, a singular denture, etc. He then lectures me on how I need to "save my pennies" to get a replacement tooth. The dentist then performs a cold sensitivity test. He takes a tiny cotton ball, freezes it with liquid nitrogen and sticks it right up against the exposed pulp and nerve. I practically felt my soul leave my body.
They handed me an appointment card for Tuesday. I asked about pain management over the weekend. I told them I wasn't comfortable with the amount of pain I was in. I expressed that I had spent the whole of last night trying every trick in the book to dull the pain. Taking the max amount of Tylenol and Ibprophen. Warm salt water rinse. Ice pack. I asked if I should go to the emergency room for the pain. The dentist shrugged and ushered me out the door.
My question is this: Is this the treatment I should expect with sliding scale/low income service providers? Am I overreacting due to the intense pain? Or -- was this just plain old shitty?
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HISTORICAL
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b2n8go
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{
"description": "not telling a coworker that they are getting fired",
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|
AITA for not telling a coworker that they are getting fired?
|
Backstory: I am one of two administrators in my office. I've become very close to the older woman I work with over the last two years. A lot of stuff has been happening in her personal life (Her mother died 2 years ago, her husband died a year ago, and now her brother has been diagnosed with the same cancer that killed her husband, and he just moved in with her.), so I'm very sympathetic and understanding of her mental state.
&#x200B;
Recently, a lot of stuff has been going wrong at work that are beyond her control, but they have to do with the staff that she is in charge of managing. My boss sees this as her not being good at her job any more, shes been with the company for 20 years.
&#x200B;
Now on to the problem: Over the weekend there was a huge blow up about people calling in and not being able to get a hold of the staff in the office. My boss told my coworker that she needs to get into the office now and fix things. Apparently things got nasty and she called me crying about how he was treating her. I'm not elaborating too much on this point because I don't think it's too relevant, but this is how close the two of us are.
&#x200B;
So today while she was on her lunch break, my boss came down into my office and wanted to talk about what happened on the weekend since I work so closely with my coworker and I've helped created some policies and guides to help the staff work more efficiently.
&#x200B;
As we are talking he is asking me what I think about all of this and even acknowledges that he knows that I'll "never throw (coworker) under the buss". But then he hit me with a shocking statement, he's bringing in someone to take over. I thought he just meant for the management of the staff, but he clarified to completely replace her.
&#x200B;
I know if I tell her, and then she then tells my boss that I told her that's the end of my job here, and I know that my boss was way out of line telling me something like that.
&#x200B;
I feel like such a shitty person not telling her and I know I'm not going to be able to act like I didn't know about this when it happens.
&#x200B;
Does this make me an asshole for sitting here and waiting for it to happen (if it happens) and acting like I didn't know?
|
HISTORICAL
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| null |
AITA ex friend says I led him on?
|
Okay so this happened almost two years ago and I don't think I did anything wrong but during a fight a girl I used to be friends with said I was in the wrong.
September two years ago I started a college course and there was a guy there that I really got on with. I had just gotten out of a long relationship so I wasn't looking for anything serious but he seemed friendly so we would talk a lot and became good friends.
I kind of screwed myself over here because he was the only person I really talked to in college.
After a while our conversations because slightly flirty which I was okay with and there was a bit of touching which made me slightly uncomfortable but I coped with.
After a while he sent me a photo of his genitals and asked for one back and I said no. He also tried to kiss me. I realised this wasn't just harmless flirting and I started getting uncomfortable. I told him to stop. I said we could still be friends but he needed to knock off the advances.
He wouldn't listen. I still wanted to be friends because he was my only friend in college but as soon as I wasn't interested he shut me down. Fair enough. We would still talk a little bit and he would still try to touch me inappropiately. Mostly touching my ass.
One interaction I remember I told him he was making me really uncomfortable and I was crying at the time. I told him the touching needed to stop and he agreed and appoligised and said we could still be friends. Then he hugged me and grabbed my ass again. I was so upset. I ran away and he chased me but I yelled at him and he stopped. I didn't go to college for a few more weeks. We did text a bit mostly talking about assignments I think I thought we could be friends regardless of this. I felt like it had been cleared up. He didn't seem to want to be friends and I ended up dropping out soon after. I love the course I'm doing now.
I get that I was a bit hot and cold with him but I felt like I drew the line pretty hard with the sexual content, but maybe my ex friend was right and I wasn't clear enough? I haven't seen that guy since but I got a notification that he liked my post on Instagram and when I clicked on it it lead to nothing so he clearly liked and unliked it. I'd just like to know if I was in the wrong for any of this. So reddit, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "avoiding my friend in an attempt to not upset him",
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|
AITA for avoiding my friend in an attempt to not upset him.
|
I want to start off by saying that I know this might be a little selfish but I don't think my mental state could take it.
I should also mention that we had a bit of a flirtationship last year so our relationship is a bit complicated as is.
My friend has been job hunting for a year and a half now with very little luck. He graduated college 2 years ago. I graduated a very recently but was lucky enough to get a job. We are in completely different fields, completely different countries. But I know if I tell him that I got a job while he is still unemployed he'll just go on about how he's still unemployed. I already don't think I deserve this job but hearing him talk about how he doesn't have one will make me feel so much worse.
My anxiety and depression are bad enough as it is. I feel like I need to settle into my new role properly and not feel guilty. Whenever I talk to him my anxiety gets so much worse. My mental state in general is fragile as is and I just know he will make things worse. I don't want to upset him. That would kill me. Am I an arsehole?
Tl;Dr my friend is still unemployed 2 years after graduating college. I got a job recently right after I graduated. Telling him a got a job will just upset him and he will go on about how he's unemployed. My anxiety and depression are bad enough. So I haven't talked to him beside a quick how are you every so often. AITA
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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au4roe
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{
"description": "being mad at my dad foe not lettting me buy a ps4 Pro",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for being mad at my dad foe not lettting me buy a PS4 Pro?
|
Okay, here we go,
So, this happened a long time ago, but I still question it from time to time
During the summer, I was running low on cash, and I never liked getting an allowance, since I didn't like taking cash from anyone without feeling like I earned it. Thankfully, my dad offered me an opportunity to help out at his company, earning 9 dollars an hour, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for one week. With the cash I had saved up, working here would mean I would be able to buy a PS4 pro, and I happily accepted.
Now, I knew my dad didn't like me playing video games, but it was offset by the fact that I myself was working for them and not just asking him for money. Nevertheless, I told him what I intended to do with the money, and he seemed like he didn't have a problem with it. I kept reminding him what I was planning to do with the money during the week, and again, he never seemed to really care.
Fast forward to the end of the week, and I ask my dad to take me to GameStop after my shift. Conversation went like this
Me: hey Dad,could you drive me to GameStop at 5? I want to buy that PS4 pro as soon as possible.
Dad: how much does it cost?
Me: 400$. (I was starting to get worried, as him asking for a price tag is never a good sign)
Dad: yeah, no way. I'm not paying for that.
Me: but you're not paying for it, I am.
Dad: okay, you're not paying for it then. You're not going to blow off all your money on one thing. You need to learn how to be responsible with your money.
Me: I am responsible with my money. I'm 14, I have no bills, don't have to worry about food, rarely go clothes shopping, rarely eat out anymore(my mom is teaching me the basics of how to cook, so I just whip something up if I'm ever hungry; my parents don't cook breakfast or lunch for me, as they believe I can do that myself). Because of this, I mostly spend my money on hobbies, which is why I did this in the first place.
Dad: I don't care. You have too many electronics(game devices) in the house and that's final.( I literally only have a Nintendo switch).
Me: okay.... How about I buy a PS4 for 300$ dollars instead?
Dad: how about you spend it on a book and learn something instead of sitting there, wasting your time. I'm done with this conversation, I am not buying another console, period.
Of course I'm furious, but my mom took my dad's side. So idk, AITA
Quick note, I do have a nasty habit of arguing with the people in the comments section, but I have recently found out that this is against the rules. if I forget, and try to start an argument, please call me out.
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b739ob
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{
"description": "telling a \"friend\" that at least \"my breasts aren't saggy like a pair of rotten melons\" over a joke she made",
"pronormative_score": 1438,
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}
|
AITA for telling a “friend” that at least “my breasts aren’t saggy like a pair of rotten melons” over a joke she made?
|
I’m a “small” chested woman. Not even that small, I like my boobs. There is this “friend” of mine who has like F cup breasts.
For some reason, she likes picking on my breasts. She is always saying passive aggressive stuff like “well, it’s not like you’ll ever feel real back pain, considering how small your tits are”, one time she picked up my bra when we were in the changing room after gym and said “Do you really fit in this? God your tits are tinier than I thought!”; “Can you really not pick up stuff with your underboob? That’s insane how small they are!”; “How will you nourish kids if you ever have them lmao”; “If I were your boyfriend, I’d be soooo unsatisfied with them”.
I’m not really confrontational, I just shrugged off her comments and told her more than once they’re not funny. Yesterday it was more, to my liking, a direct insult. I was just minding my own god damned business doing some work when she asked me:
Her: Hey OP, would you use shoes if you had no legs?
Me: Well, depends if I had prosthetics or not.
Her: But would you if you had no prosthetics?
Me: I don’t think so, why?
Her: Then why do you wear a bra? Hahaha they are so small.
I was tired at the moment. I admit I snapped, I told her “at least my breasts aren’t saggy like a pair of rotten melons.”
She got angry. Like I just wished death upon her mother; father, and firstborn. She started crying and saying I’m an asshole for picking on such a sensitive subject for her ?????
My boyfriend thinks I was not an asshole and technically I wasn’t talking about her tits so that’s shit she took upon herself. Some of our mutual female friends told me I should apologize, her boyfriend told me that’s a sensitive subject for her and I should apologize. She sent me a text that she will be mad at me until I properly apologize to her.
I don’t want to apologize as I think I was not the asshole here. Play bitch games win bitch prizes, or as we’d say in my language, this woman “se lleva y no se aguanta”.
But why would I be here if it not were to ask beautiful Reddit... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
agsaxm
|
{
"description": "being annoyed at my husband for going in to work on all of his days off",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed at my husband for going in to work on all of his days off?
|
My husband is coming up on his one year anniversary with his company. From the very start he’s been obsessed with it, and generally very excited to be working where he is. I wasn’t that keen on it from the start because it was a pay cut, a 1.5 hour commute, and they were very unorganized when it came to plans. (The 1.5 commute was supposed to change to a 15 minutes commute after his training, but after training they told him they were keeping him at the farther location).
He was so excited that it usually dominated our conversations, he’d google the company at least every other day just to read up on it’s news (even though he works directly for the CEO/owner?), and was constantly checking emails/work phone calls/texts.
I thought it was just novelty excitement and it’d wear off after a couple months. Once it got around 6 months, after many arguments mostly started by me because he was always working late and obsessing over it, I told him I just don’t have the mental capacity for all our conversations to involve his company. I told him the first half hour/hour after work he could tell me about his day, etc, but that I needed space from hearing about it. I said that I understood he was very work driven, but there needs to be a balance, and that there were some pressing issues we were working on that felt like it was taking the backseat to his work...again.
A year later, and he’s been better about over-talking about it (probably because I snapped at him one too many times) but he stills googles, emails/texts on time off/vacations, and goes in to work on most of his days off. Just to say hi and have a beer and chat with everyone.
AITA for not understanding this and getting frustrated with him? I’m just an under-driven person and this is how normal work relationships are?
|
HISTORICAL
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a4w2qe
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{
"description": "not visiting my mom while she's in town",
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}
|
AITA for not visiting my mom while she's in town?
|
I am an adult. My mother isnt in my life. When she divorced my dad,there wasn't a reason to keep her in it because she is toxic to her kids and abusive to my dad. At first I didnt feel bad. But its now the first christmas I wont have to see her, and despite no one telling her to come visit us, she has come to visit us. None of my siblings are going to.
I feel like an asshole because I grew up very money conscious, and I hate wasting money. Especially other people's. And I feel like if no one sees her, she wasted money. And I dont want to be the reason she wastes money. Plus, all of us stuck with our dad after it was over, so mom has like, no one. Just her sister, her mom, and her bf she cheated on my dad with. So Im sure shes lonely.
But at the same time, she destroyed me. I had 0 self confidence growing up, she never supported what I wanted to do, and she told me horrible, awful things. Ive finally been doing good. Im going to college, Im working, Ive lost significant weight and am still losing it. I even graduated therapy after she left. Im afraid she'll bring me back down, even if I just see her once. And if I see her this time, then what about next time, or the time after that? How could I escape what SHE wants to do if I let her push me into it this time?
I dont want to feel this guilt anymore. But it just. wont. go away. None of my siblings have it, its just me that struggles and I dont know why.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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arx4wn
|
{
"description": "complaining about staying with my gf's family in a private conversation",
"pronormative_score": 63,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for complaining about staying with my gf's family in a PRIVATE conversation
|
My gf and I have been in a long term relationship (3 years) and have had our ups and downs. Her family pretty vehemently dislikes me due to the fact that 1. we are in a same sex relationship and 2. they feel that I am more "privileged".
My gf's step father became very ill recently so we both cancelled our vacation to travel to her home in the Northeast and help take care of him. I don't consider myself a "neat freak" but I feel uncomfortable in cluttered and unclean spaces. Her parents rarely ever clean, have random things all over the house, have a cat who eats on their kitchen tables, open litter boxes, etc. They also only have twin beds in the house. I was texting with my father who was asking me how things were going and I messaged him about how uncomfortable I was staying there where I felt unwelcome and unclean. Fast forward to a few hours later, my GF has packed my suitcase and thrown it down the stairs screaming at me to "get the fuck out." She admits that while I was downstairs she unlocked my phone and read through my entire conversation with my father.
AITA here for expressing I felt uncomfortable in a private conversation?
&#x200B;
throwaway. because, yeah
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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OZ5MfdQuf8xw6qRlqE1MdPS39dnHJBG4
|
9tamas
|
{
"description": "wanting my D&D group to split price of books",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For wanting my D&D group to split price of books
|
When i first started with my freinds i made it clear that when i needed campaigns to run the group would pay half and i would pay half. It works out to 7 bucks for the 3 of them and 26 for me. They are now telling me to just torrent pdfs online and that they wont pay now. Am i the asshole for telling them to pqy half for something that will last like 7 months of games.(personnaly i dont like having to scroll through pdfs when playing. And i made that clear before we started)
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9ywfme
|
{
"description": "asking for a refund",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking for a refund?
|
Last Christmas I started my Christmas shopping the day before Christmas, and was put under severe stress.
I decided to turn things around and started extremely early. At the midst of October (say around 16th of October), I stumbled across the perfect item in Etsy for a family member. I immediately ordered it.
And so one month passes by, and I am starting to become significantly worried. The app is rumoured as safe. So I relax. (money has been pulled off my bank account) Sunday marked the day that I had been patiently waiting for two months. I had received no parcel number, nor formal shipping disclaimer, yet my order was scheduled to ship almost two months ago (circa ten days after ordering). I decided to message the person, and got an automatic message saying that they '*did not take orders*' I fanatically messaged my friend (who has experience on this app) and she strongly advised me to report as soon as possible as they might want to take my money.
So I reported them. I stated clearly that ''**I'd prefer a refund, but if this company still has the item I am still open for receiving it**'' I further on also explained what happened when I tried messaging this company.
Today I receive a response from a pissed shop owner telling me I did not have the patience to wait for 24h before reporting and that she could not work due to a recently broken arm. After reading this I apologized for my behaviour, but they kept on going on a rampage that I was the worst costumer ever ''*and I have experienced a lot of bad ones*''. I Feel really bad for reporting this company to the app a couple of hours later.
So am I the ignorant asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
nuQcgVMi1zH5zTbcuhcNBj0Moz2er0Ei
|
axhh1z
|
{
"description": "telling my friend maybe he shouldn't call an entire subfandom toxic",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend maybe he shouldn’t call an entire subfandom toxic?
|
So there’s a webcomic that’s pretty popular that’s a loose adaption of an old public domain story. My friend draws a more to the text adaption and has made it very well known he does not like the other comic for reasons ranging to its too happy in tone to the fans flood the tags for the original work with ship art.
Today he gets an anon message on his tumblr from someone complaining about popular comic and he agrees and goes on to say “Most of the fandom is pretty toxic.”
Now, the fandom for popular comic does get a little out of hand at times, there have been incidents where other adaptations get accused of copying the popular comic (I don’t know if they know about the orginal book), there’s a couple of kids pretending to have multiple personalities to get away with being assholes, the usual shipping wars, but the fandom’s pretty small and that side even smaller. I would not call it toxic at all, but whatever maybe something I avoid gets brought to him.
I message him because of something the anon said that might have been racist (calling a poc character black licorice as an insult) and I notice some people on a discord sever for the fandom are getting a little peeved over it, so I decide to tell my friend, “Maybe you shouldn’t have called the entire fandom toxic? People seem to be getting real mad and I’m kind of worried some shit might start.”
My friend responds kind of upset?
“I stand by what I said, and I want to believe you don’t mean to belittle me like this, but I don’t need a babysitter to hold my hand and I can deal with whatever happens.”
When did I belittle him? Like I genuinely do not know if I fucked up sonewhere here and it’s been bugging me all day, is this one of those “there’s no body language on the internet” deals?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
stXzycrPu8GON36YgxTP4KE339vYnpTf
|
9y37ei
|
{
"description": "leaving my gf behind",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my GF behind?
|
AITA?
A little context: Me and my girlfriend go to college about an hour apart. We see each other almost every weekend. This particular weekend my friends were coming up to visit and for a football game. My girlfriend (Lets call her GF) also came up as usual for a game weekend.
On Friday night we found a party to go to. Me and my friends got ready, and expected GF to come with us. However, she said she didn’t want to come because we’d be out late and she knew she’d get tired. I begged her to come but she declined. So we left her home and went out, coming home around 3.
The next day my friends left, and GF was pissed because we left her. I understand where she’s coming from, but I see her more then I do my friends. AITA? I feel like its 50-50 on this one.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
AVMAVNXxG2BJS6z2rC4aA0AYyH9mZ2VG
|
av0zak
|
{
"description": "not helping my parents because they don't help themselves and take me for a fool",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping my parents because they don't help themselves and take me for a fool?
|
My whole life I’ve been obedient to my parents. During college breaks, I would return and help out at my parents’ labor intensive dry clean factory. (60-70 hr/week) I was verbally abused on a daily basis by my father who was a potty mouth and blamed everything on everyone else. I tried to implement ideas to their old school business but my voice was never heard. After working there for a couple of years, I decided to do something for myself but my parents would always guilt-trip me saying that I don’t care about our family and that I’m betraying them.
&#x200B;
I was able to leave my parents’ factory and tried to do my own venture but was not successful so I decided to help my brother in law with his newly acquired liquor store. During my time there he thought my ideas were great and started implementing them immediately and saw great results.
&#x200B;
Last week, my parents’ delivery driver got into a major car accident and nearly totalled the delivery van. They decided to have the van fixed and hire a new driver. I did not want to be stuck in that never-ending cycle again so I told my mother to post an ad on newspaper the day I start working for them or else it’ll be my last day. She said that she wants to contact one of our previous drivers but he’s not available for another 4wks. I told her there will be a chance that the previous driver will not accept her job offer and she needs to cover her bases.
&#x200B;
After finishing my routes, I go back and I asked my mom if she called the newspaper company and she said yes. I decided to buy a paper 2 days later on Sunday to see if the ad was posted. There was no ad for us. I asked my mother why isn’t the ad on the newspaper and she told me that the company scheduled it for Monday’s paper. I told her I will be buying the Monday paper to check. My mom approached me on Monday and tells me that she called the newspaper company to double check on the listing and she was helped by a new employee at the newspaper company who lost all of her information so they were not able to post her ad. After hearing that, I was suspicious so I asked her “are you sure you called them?” and she assured me she did. I went home and checked her call logs. There was no calls at all between her and the newspaper co. That night, I asked her to tell me the truth and she smirked and laughed and told me she never called. I felt like I was a fool and felt used. I told her I am not delivering for them because she lied to my face multiple times and she refuses to help herself.
&#x200B;
Next day she tried to get me to go and I said no. She said I was acting like a child and said I am not willing to help my parents and that I am making a mistake. She tells a family friend and my mother in law that I refused to help them.
&#x200B;
Am I the asshole?
&#x200B;
**TL;DR I stopped helping my parents at their factory because they are not willing to help themselves and take me for a fool.**
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
aO4O16x7dtYHF0uvSdhvesT6IhTedK7u
|
b4rgu2
|
{
"description": "not helping a lady and refusing to speak English",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA Not helping a lady and refusing to speak English
|
I was in the store on the phone with a friend, we were practicing Spanish ( language is a requirement it our major and we refuse to take another year of Spanish since we took it in middle and high).
I got into one lane and noticed a lady climbing on the shelf to get something and immediately went up to her. I pointed to the thing she wanted and said quiere (want in spanish), she took some time but agreed. It is very obvious that I don't normally speak Spanish because my pronunciation sucks so I wasn't surprised she just spoke in English. She asked if I could help with a bit more things. She was pretty and I wasnt completely in a rush but I didn't have the patience considering I was still on the phone and just wanted to get home so I refused.
The lady was unhappy and asked questions/ gave reasoning why I should agree. At first she wasnt rude just pleading to my niceness? (I dont what you would call it) but I said no and explained in very simple Dora/Diego type Spanish that I need to go. The lady got annoyed at my unnecessary Spanish and asked if I can just speak English. My friend is pretty anal about Spanish only during these calls and I didn't want to deal with the backlash so I refused. I repeated the I got to go thing in Spanish, apologized and walked away.
The interaction only lasted max 5 mins but based on how she was reaching for things, I am a bit worried. I wasn't completely busy and she could hurt herself/ products. On the other hand stools exists for a reason.
Extra AITA: Part of me thinks I care more about this because of her appearance. Would I be TA if that was the case?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
szmybm8NvZbbO4EQoK1PlTp06pu1rU9u
|
b5j4nc
|
{
"description": "not telling any of my extended family members about my graduation ceremony",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling any of my extended family members about my graduation ceremony?
|
tldr; my older cousin was hurt when I told her I didn’t want anyone to know that im graduating, and told her mom (my aunt) that I didn’t want her to attend the ceremony.
the long-ish version:
a month back, I had submitted an application to graduate from college and in the moment, posted to snapchat that my application was processing. my older cousin saw this and texted me immediately, congratulating me and saying she will be coming up to celebrate (i live in northern california and she’s in southern california).
I was a bit hesitant about this only because I had failed classes in the past and I wanted to wait until grades were solidified and I was set to pass them. I forgot I had her on my snapchat, but I only have her and 2 other extended family members who can see my snapchat stories.
I told her it would be great if she came, and I thought that was the end of it.
she contacted me again a couple days later, telling me that our uncle had asked why I didn’t tell anyone I’m graduating. I told her I wanted to keep it lowkey for now, seeing that I’m still in school and have a few more months of it to go. What i didn’t tell her (and in retrospect should’ve) is that I’m given a limited number of tickets for the ceremony itself, and it would be an incredible hassle to get extra from students who don’t need it.
later on, my parents tell me the extended family in southern california all know and wanted to know why I didn’t tell them. I know for sure my parents didn’t mention anything to them, and im pretty much in disbelief at this point but I don’t let it bother me too badly, and reasoned that people knowing can’t be a terrible thing.
Last weekend, i saw said extended family members and the aunt I mentioned earlier said “[older cousin] tells me you don’t want her to come to your graduation!” I was stunned and said I never said such a thing, only that I wanted to keep it a secret. it then snowballed into my parents inviting EVERYONE to come up to come see me, and they later tell me I need to at least secure 5 more tickets for the graduation ceremony (I’m given 7 by default).
I personally only wanted my immediate family to come to the ceremony (this includes my maternal grandparents, my parents, and my brother and sister), and have everyone come for a sort of graduation party. my mom asked me if i told my older cousin i didnt want her to come, and when i said no and told her i just wanted to keep it a secret, she said I couldve said it differently. But because i didnt, I hurt her feelings.
I don’t know, I mean I guess it doesn’t seem like a huge deal, but the way she felt made me confused. I wonder if I couldve worded things better. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
0orKsbU8bNPxBbN8J7ouGa8giVWZlk2S
|
b0rp8u
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my best friend because he refuses to spend time with me outside his home",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my best friend because he refuses to spend time with me outside his home?
|
A bit of backstory: He and his gf moved recently and I helped them a couple days to renovate their new place and get their stuff into their new home. He was also unhappy with his current job (truck driver) and since he was always interested in computers I started teaching him programming and got him an apprenticeship at the company I work at.
After above mentioned things were dealt with, everyday life began to settle in again and I'd frequently visit him as usual. The difference now is that we don't have a dedicated room to chill in and play video games together and talk about private matters. Everything is now in the living room, with his gf visibly annoyed and more people visiting now since a good friend lives in the same apartment complex, so things get a lot easier heated nowadays.
I'll be moving into a new place in 2 months and asked my friend if he wanted to help me with planning the apartment and such since he is experienced with that. He said yes and we waited until the floor plans arrived.
I asked him multiple times when we wanted to go to some furniture places together to get some ideas (I wanted him to come with me since I want to make one of the rooms I'll have our dedicated place again, but this time I wanted it to be like a thing we designed and made together). He postponed the date when we would go multiple times because he either forgot it or wanted to stay home because he "doesn't like to go to furniture places and just wants to chills at home", which got me a little mad yesterday because he's on sick leave since two weeks (he isn't sick) and has been playing games since then (which imo is perfectly fine, but weakens his argument of wanting to chill imo).
As soon as another friend came in and got wind about that we want to go to a furniture place, he immediately said that we should totally go now, but then realised it's late so we should go the next day then.
I later called him out because that's not the first time this happened (like I asked him for something to do outside, he says no, but as soon as someone else would join, he says yes) and told him that I sort of feel disrespected as if I wasn't good enough of a reason to do something outside of his comfort zone.
He just replied "dude, seriously?" and now I'm sitting here wondering if I was wrong and the asshole for getting mad and / or overreacting or he is.
I hope someone takes their time to read and reply to this. Constructive feedback welcome, especially if I did something wrong. I'm not very good at socialising and would love to improve.
Sincerely,
John.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
1TFauzPjYz0kW7xXTPE68jHRDb1zV3vm
|
b4u6i2
|
{
"description": "not wanting to match my girlfriend's social media activity",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to match my girlfriend's social media activity?
|
I'm 23, my girlfriend is 21. She is moderately active on social media, primarily Instagram and posts once in a while. I, on the other hand, am a bit of a recluse and prefer not to share my life on social media, whereas she enjoys doing so. I have no problem with this at all, and I support her completely. However, throughout our relationship (almost two years) she has been unhappy with how little I post on Instagram, and just how small of a presence I have on social networking websites.
I have expressed to her that it is just something that I am uncomfortable doing, and that I am a private person and that my (lack of) social media activity has no effect on our relationship. Most recently, we had this conversation again. She brought up the fact that I posted a lot more when I was with my ex, and that she sees no effort on my end. The fact that I posted a lot more when I was with my ex is true, although that was when I was a teenager, and it is only normal to be caught up in the "wave". In the years after my ex and I separated, I formed new views on social media, and the toxicity that it can introduce into someone's life. So naturally, I reduced my activity and I have not regretted the decision at all. I thought it was a bit unfair for her to say this, because it was pointless to attempt to draw comparisons, where there are none to be made.
With regards to no effort being seen on my end, I have still posted a handful of pictures on Instagram whilst we have been dating (some have been on my own accord, and some were in genuine effort to understand the joys she gets from it). However, despite this, my views did not change and I respectfully told her this.
A lot of our fights recently have revolved around social media and the insecurities that come with it, and I can't help but feel like I'm being forced to like something that I don't.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
VJWgotyAS6m486M0OkZEtUh2snQ1xYFS
|
azuyfy
|
{
"description": "changing my mind at a frat party",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for changing my mind at a frat party?
|
As a precursor, I was pretty intoxicated and so was everyone else.
&#x200B;
I went to the weekly frat party with a couple of my friends last night. As the party progressed a bit, I started dancing and making out with some girl that was obviously trying to get with me, and we were about ready to leave. Before we left, one of my friends (girl) was signaling me to come over and meet some of her friends; we made small talk and we all started to dance including the girl I initially met and was going to leave with.
&#x200B;
Anyways, long story short I ended up ditching the other girl and leaving with one of my friends' friends and I woke up today to a bunch of shit coming my way. Apparently the other girl was in the sister sorority to the frat and apparently told the frat brothers I'm "a cheating bastard" and other vulgar comments along those lines...she wasn't too happy that I left and is now perpetually defaming me on social media for no reason at all besides the fact that she's salty, and out of context it sounds really bad.
&#x200B;
I mean I don't think I did anything wrong, it's not like I committed myself to anything and despite me 'leading her on' or whatever you wan't to call it, its a damn frat party so its not like I'm going on a blind date or anything serious.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
le9Brvni6ZLbtsDiPQpMxKgG2TclrURO
|
ab4xs2
|
{
"description": "not inviting my siblings so to my graduation",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't invite my siblings SO to my graduation?
|
Throwaway in case anyone involved is on Reddit
I'm graduating uni in a few months, and my brother is flying in from out of town to see me graduate, and is brining his girlfriend. My dad, sister, and boyfriend also plan on attending, but since we only get 4 tickets, the first three we're going to go to my family and the third to my boyfriend.
When my sister found this out she blew up at me, insulted me, and insisted my brothers girlfriend get a ticket over my boyfriend, since she's flying in. I like his girlfriend, but I've only met her twice and my boyfriend has been supporting me ever step of the way for the last two years of my degree and I don't think it's fair that someone who I've met twice gets to go over him. Also, she's not coming solely for my graduation. They'll be visiting other members of our family, then going on a cruise that leaves from the port the next city over, which they were planning on going on before I even had the date of graduation.
Would I be being rude or an asshole for having my boyfriend go instead of my brothers girlfriend?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
iBVxuzMeg372xiIvv9cEu46xYUZUCg5v
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abt3iz
| null |
AITA For what happened to me on New years two years ago?
|
So ive been pondering the situation that happened to me new years Eve of 2017 since this year I stayed in for just fear essentially. So I want to explain my situation and see if I'm an asshole or not. So in 2017 I got a call a few days before New year's from a friend asking if I wanted to come DJ a party at his house. I had equipment and loved this guy and friends so I said sure I'll come DJ and party. So I did and had a great time. It's about 15 minutes from my house and all back roads in a pretty small town I should mention to help narrate the picture.
Well the party went fine. I drank until midnight then stopped and kept DJing till about 3 am. So I felt fine pretty much. I had one drink every hour then stopped three hours ahead of time and felt pretty aware of myself so I figured yeah I can make the drive fine it's 15 minutes back roads and I feel fine. So I loaded up and everyone else was heading home. Well this stupid girl in the car in front put her car in the ditch pulling out of the driveway. Dumb right? Well I didn't know she was trashed so when she crawled out I was like oh fuck we gonna get in trouble. So I helped and my friend did too to push her car out of the ditch. a different person drove since we figured out she lives less than a mile up the road. Well during that time the cops got called since it's new year's with a car in the ditch someone nearby was gonna call. But everyone from the party was already heading home. Well since it's a small town the cops ain't too far from us and they had barely enough time to see the people leaving the party. I drove home fine doing 45 since there was a light powder of snow dropping and the light reflects off the snow making it hard to see. I remember seeing I thought a car behind me originally close but in then disappeared into the rear view and kept disappearing/ reappraring every few seconds. I thought maybe it was my buddy Dylan following me to make sure I got home safe since he only takes one turn different to get home so I thought thanks man in my head. Eventually where the car shouldve turned if it were dylan disappeared and that made sense since I figured that he went home.
Nope. It wasn't him. I got home fine and went to hop in bed and right as I did I got a knock on the door. I should mention I was home visiting my hometown and was at my parents so my dad was sound asleep in his chair. It was the police. They were asking about if the owner of the car parked outside was home. My dad was super confused so he comes up to me and asks why the hell the cops are at the house. I said because I helped out a drunk person from the ditch and made sure they got home so they were probably asking to make sure nothing was wrong so I was like lemme talk to them and settle the situation so there's no worries.
I fucked up here Reddit. The cops were not my friend that night. They started grilling me on who was in the car, who helped me, asking specific names and what party I was at. And I'm no snitch so I didn't say any names except that I helped a girl out of the ditch and made sure she got home fine. It was getting them mad that I wouldn't tell them who it was so they could make some good arrests and be a "hero". So after they did a good ten minutes of grilling they turned to me and said "smells like alcohol on your breath. You been drinking and driving?" I did admit yes I drank tonight and yes that was my car out there but i should be sober by now. I even let them search my car full of dj equipment as they were looking for open intoxicant or alcohol on me. Well they didn't find any so they made me blow. I got .087 so I was above the legal limit barely. They admitted then they had followed me but lost me from being so far behind. I asked why they didn't pull me over in the first place if they thought my driving was bad? Never got a answer.
So basically what happened is I spent the night in jail but got away free of charges. See you can't be arrested for a DUI if you never showed cause of being drunk while driving and if they can't prove you even drove the car. I admitted to being the owner but never said I drove it home and they never even had me inside my vehicle. So I got lucky. But what I want to know is am I the asshole for driving? I barely got over the limit and obviously they never were super worried about my driving because they were right behind me originally and followed me a few miles but never stopped me, so I must have been driving decent enough for them. I didn't go out this year because I was back in my hometown and just was afraid to go out at all for fear of cops going after anyone. So am I the asshole or is the cops who went after me the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
78HBJLcGfPCxl3LQF9JMQbqm15HUOQGZ
|
9uhf5y
|
{
"description": "leaving my bf due to how he views the future",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for leaving my bf due to how he views the future
|
So TL;DR, this all deals with him and how he envisions his future, but I don't know how to word the title correctly.
Anyways, a background of myself is I'm in college rn with 6 classes and no free time to work. He is working a technically full-time job at a country club, doesn't want to go to college, and doesn't think about the way future. Both of us are the same age.
&#x200B;
Recently with my decision to switch colleges next year and possibly place myself in the Army after college, he hasn't been very supportive of this decision. He doesn't want me to go too far from him, and wants to at least hang out on the weekends (which I may not have any time to travel back). I've told him this whole plan and mentioned that maybe he should consider joining the military since they have many benefits and could possibly pay for college. His family is poor, his mom and dad are more of financial burdens than helpful towards him. He doesn't want to go into the military because he'd rather stay at his job rn and "move up the ladder". Plot twist is my mother works there too, for about 15 years now, and she's never been promoted to even a manager role. At the very least, I told him he should try to go to college in the future if he can, even if it was just a technical degree and work a stable, well-paying job for a while.
&#x200B;
Issue is, he believes college is a scam and doesn't believe in the government being helpful, so he wouldn't want to support the military by joining. I have high aspirations, I want to be a pilot, work in the military for 20-30 years, and retire smoothly. But I almost feel like he is holding me back, since he would only be making $1000 a month max for the next 10 years. I don't know what else to do except try to look for someone who is on the same level as myself. I don't want to have a financial burden on myself, and plan on having kids within 10 years.
So the big question here is, WIBTA for leaving my boyfriend (by the time I move to the new college) to find someone with higher aspirations?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
XGB1252jBofYF7eq59nT8z6UNCCCeae6
|
b0vt62
|
{
"description": "not wanting to watch my Moms kids",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For Not Wanting to Watch My Moms Kids?
|
For context, my mom is 63, single and works full time, typically late nights, with children in foster care. I am 20 and have four older siblings. They all live hours away while I live about five miles from my mom. I work full time, Monday through Friday. My mom also has an ex boyfriend, John, who lives in a travel trailer behind her house.
In 2016, my mom starting working one of the worst cases she’s ever seen. The children were extremely abused and traumatized. After a few months, my mom spontaneously decides she is going to adopt the youngest three, 4 year old twin boys and a 7 year old girl. Most people my mom shared this idea with told her they did not think it was a good idea, including my siblings and I, due to her age and their behavioral issues.
Since then, I’ve had to watch them a couple nights every week, sometimes not getting home until close to midnight. I really didn’t mind at first, other than their uncontrollable and sometimes very rude and violent behavior.
Last summer my mom switched to a new company and promised me she would not work as late as she had been (she is able to choose her own hours). My mom tends to not keep her word, so I wasn’t surprised when she fell back into the same routine. She found a part time babysitter but she will only do the days my mom is home early and still flakes out half the time. She also got them into an after school day care which made things a little easier, but it’s only open until 5:30. I get off work at 5 and have a 25 minute drive home. John agreed to pick them up from daycare and bring them home so I could meet them there without having to rush too badly. This lasted for a month or so until he decided he’d had enough of their behavior and said he was done.
Now I am back in square one and I’m getting very tired of it. I feel taken advantage of and every time I try to talk to my mom about it, the blame gets turned on me. My mom tells me I am trying to control her life and that I have no reason to have any issues with it. I only ask if there’s any way she can get home a couple hours earlier or maybe work mornings instead. She gets defensive and immediately turns the conversation to an argument. She makes me feel as though I have no other choice. I always used to feel like I could talk to her, but now I feel like I have to walk on eggshells. Anyone else I talk to tells me I just need to tell her I’m not doing it anymore, but she would be furious with me. I want to tell her I’m done, at least with staying so late. WIBTA?
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AITA For being upset/irritated with my boyfriend for living with his ex-girlfriend
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So, yes right off the bat this sounds bad. There is some context. They go to the same college, 5.5 hours away from my college. They dated for a year and a half (before my boyfriend ever knew me) and they agreed to live together (school housing, apartment style dorm) in the spring before a pretty rough break up.
I met my boyfriend through someone at work in our hometown that summer. We started dating and we planned for me to go visit him at school about three weeks into our relationship (he goes to school near a famous US structure that I hadn't seen). He told me while intoxicated that he lived with his ex-girlfriend and two other roommates. He said that he was stuck living with her for the year and if I was disinterested that was fine. I was still interested, so I went. It was fine, the other two roommates seemed great and she generally ignored us. After this I visited multiple times.
We dated for the rest of that year and up until spring, when you sign up for new school housing. Now, I knew he needed a new roommate to replace her so I suggested multiple of his friends and made it very clear I did not want him living with her. He had a lack of communication with the two other roommates and because of this they waited until very late to fill out their housing applications. I bugged him a bit about it at this point and mostly got blown off. Finally he tells me the roommates and him agreed that they would live together along with the ex-girlfriend. I made it clear this was not great for me. Boyfriend played it off as if he were the victim, still is.
As of current I try not to get irritated, but I have requested that he not tell me about her. Trust me, I know she's there when I go visit and it really frustrates me. It makes me mad to hear about her, especially when he complains about her. He does it constantly and I feel like he doesn't have the right because he chose to live with her again. He is frustrated with me for not wanting to hear it and telling him it annoys me to be reminded he lives with her.
We've been dating for a year and a half now. He only has one semester left so there's nothing I can do but be irritated and have him visit my apartment more than the other way around. Am I the asshole for not wanting to listen to him complain about a situation he put himself in and making it clear I don't want to be reminded she exists?
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HISTORICAL
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AITA - I don’t want to throw my step kids birthday parties.
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Okay, now hear me out. I have 13 yr old and 11 yr old boys from a previous marriage. My husband has an 11 yr old and 6 yr old from a previous marriage. Together we have a 3 yr old and 8 month old.
My sons have a birthday party at their dads and then I throw them a small party for just us where I cook them their favorite food and bake them whatever cake they want. Then we give them a few presents. I haven’t thrown them a “big” party since they were 4 or 5.
I do the exact same thing for my step children. They get a bday party from their moms’ grandparents (their mom is a drug addict deadbeat). Then I cook them what they want, bake a cake and we give them presents.
For my youngest two, I throw them parties bc they are younger. My 3 yr old’s bday is exactly a week after my 6 yr old step daughter. My husband thinks we should have combined the parties. I don’t. My step daughter got a party from her grandparents. Then I cooked and baked her a cake and we got her a kid’s kindle.
My 3 yr old wanted a Vampirina bday party so I invited my sister, nephew and niece, parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles. My husband thinks I’m being unfair to the 6 yr old.
AITA?
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AITA for not listening to my brother?
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We were at the supermarket to buy some stuff and mid way my brother decided to left our shopping cart and didn't go back to get it. I took the cart to his place simply because I thought he forgot and he punched me (because my brother isn't an asshole and I don't want anyone to think so I'm gonna say punch is rather too harsh to describe it but I'm not a native speaker and don't know any other words to say here). Needless to say, I took care of the shopping cart from there while bitching about my brother being an asshole over some small problems.
Then, apparently he asked me nicely to watch the cart and pay when he knew that I didn't have any money on hand because my mother asked us to go and he had the wallet. When I came back after buying some cat food for my beautiful little angel he yelled at me for not watching the cart and when I said I didn't know that he asked me he pulled my hair in front of many people (it was a busy day).
I don't know if this is important but my brother is suffering from depression and I get it could be rough and his attitude and behavior may be not so strange?
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AITA for thinking my friend is annoying when they talk about how good they have it whenever I complain?
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Whenever I complain about something or just mention an inconvenience to this certain friend the conversation somehow always ends up about them. I'm not sure if I'm in the right for finding it annoying sometimes. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm glad that she has a nice life but sometimes it just makes me feel like its being rubbed in my face.
Like, for example, I'd mention how I'm stressed about shitty group mates for a project and before I can explain why she'd tell me how she's so lucky that her group mates are so easy to work with and how she doesn't have to worry about anything at all. Or whenever I'd mention how shit at being a mom my mother is the conversation would go to how her parents are amazing and that she's so lucky to have both parents who love her to death and it turns me off that I don't even want to talk about it anymore.
Am I an asshole for feeling annoyed whenever I'm being cut off whenever I start ranting?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "wanting one day a week for family time",
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AITA for wanting one day a week for family time?
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We both work from home. Run two successful online business. Which means we make our own schedules. We have a 6 and 4 year old that I do all the parenting, cooking, playing anything they need. My husband doesn't do any of that. And leaves on a business trip for 4 days every two weeks. We work our butts off and we have to force ourselves breaks. Its finally worn on me that we are never one as a family and not one days go by without some sort of work. All I ask is one day a week or every two weeks with no work. Full day off. A day to play with the kids be a family and unwind. Is that asking for to much?
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| null |
AITA - People with thick accents frustrate me on the phone.
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I work in a job where I spend my days calling to doctor's offices all over the USA. I usually leave a voicemail, but 10-20% of the time I speak to an actual person instead of an automated system.
It doesn't happen often (once a week at most, and I make about 50-60 calls per day), but when I speak to someone who has a very thick accent of any kind, from any origin, I get frustrated. The extra effort required to convey even the most basic information (patient names, medication names, phone numbers, etc.) drives me nuts.
The question I find myself asking is this: why is a person with a thick accent and difficulty understanding English answering phones? I know English isn't everyone's first language, but when virtually all of the medical business in the USA is done in English, why is this particular person the one answering phones?
Am I the asshole for getting frustrated with this?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "deciding not to continue my family businesses wherein I'm expected to be the next-in-line and go abroad to study in College and work there",
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|
WIBTA if I decided not to continue my family businesses wherein I'm expected to be the next-in-line and go abroad to study in College and work there?
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Basically, I'm the only boy in my family and my relatives have been preparing me to inherit the business from day one. I really want to work abroad but I know my parents are expecting me to continue to stay in the Philippines and help them out with the businesses and such. My family is Chinese so they expect me to become the next leader, it's kinda tradition that way. However, more importantly, I'm worried about leaving my family in the Philippines because my older sister already wants to work abroad and my younger sister is too young to know about these kind of things. I feel like I have an obligation to stay here because my parents are going to feel really lonely and they've been talking about how they hope I can study abroad however I know that they still want me to stay here.
From my parents perspectives, I'm someone they raised with all of their effort and hardwork only to leave them when he graduates from high school and stay in a different country. I just feel really bad about this whole situation because they're going to have to outsource the next manager while me and my older sister goes abroad without helping them whilst they are still paying for our college. Am I asking for too much from my parents and my grandparents?
TL;DR I want to study abroad even though my older sister wants to work abroad too and no one will help them out with the business and my younger sister.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "thinking it's selfish for a person sitting at the end of an empty row of seats as people are filing in to a soon-to-be-packed event",
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|
AITA for thinking it’s selfish for a person sitting at the end of an empty row of seats as people are filing in to a soon-to-be-packed event?
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I love conferences. I love conferences and concerts so much!
I get so frustrated when people sit on the very outside seat of an empty row! It’s a reasonable expectation that people move to the middle, or at least not roll their eyes when everyone has to climb over them!
I posted about this on Facebook and someone I knew commented, “Maybe people have anxiety about where to sit and you having a second of awkwardness walking past them is worth it you horrible terrible mean spirited devil woman!”
I know he was trying to be silly about the last part, but it’s coming from a place of apparent offense.
I then asked, “Maybe other people have anxiety climbing over people! Who caters to whom?”
And he said, “The one who got there last caters, obvs.”
I really, really don’t agree. Am I the asshole for judging people that sit on the end without filling in the seats like a decent human being? I like sitting on the end too, but I know it’s a dick move to do so when it’s an empty row.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "constantly questioning my friend if his Dad was gay",
"pronormative_score": 3,
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|
AITA for constantly questioning my friend if his Dad was gay?
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This is more of a Was I the Asshole, but going forward. WHen I was about 7 or 8 I had this friend, who we'll call "E". Anyways, E had a gay dad, which I didn't know about at the time. Whenever we went upstairs to his Dad's house, (E's divorced but still on good terms mom and dad lived in a duplex) I would always see his boyfriend, who we'll call "R". I always thought they were roommates, but when my parents explained homosexuality to me when I was 8, I began incessantly questioning my friend if his Dad was gay. He always didn't want to talk about it, but I always asked anyways. Looking back, I feel really bad since it was a topic he clearly didn't want to discuss. I just want to know if I was being an asshole, or if that behavior was just curiosity.
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"description": "not coming in to work on my second to last day for a school event",
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WIBTA for not coming in to work on my second to last day for a school event?
|
Hello friends,
I have already put in my two weeks at my current job, so this weekend holds my last two shifts. However, today (Sat 12/1) is the same day as an all-day event for my high school. For the last week I've tried talking to all my co-workers to get someone to cover me, but to no avail. I asked my boss as well, and he just said someone better be there.
I like most of my coworkers and don't want to leave them like this, but I really cannot miss this event for my school. Additionally, my last shift would be tomrrow, Sunday, and I would feel uncomfortable working around people I let down.
So, WIBTA by not showing up?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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b1n609
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{
"description": "bankrupting my parents to study in Cambridge",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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|
WIBTA if I bankrupted my parents to study in Cambridge?
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20M in an Asian country. I have always dreamt of studying in the University of Cambridge, and this year I got a place to study social and political sciences there. Problem is that my family's finances has taken a hit after my mother lost her job, so paying the >150k USD (over 3 years) of international student fees would be a massive strain on them. It might even mean emptying their retirement fund and taking away resources from my 15F sister.
I've promised my parents that I won't go to Cambridge if I can't get a full ride government scholarship - then I'd be stuck in a law school in my country at heavily subsidised rates. But the way scholarship interviews are going, the chances of me getting one seems really slim. As far as possible I don't want to put that burden on my family, but at the same time it'd be really fucking stupid for me to give up my dream school and future career prospects just for them. Am I above wrecking my family's finances for my own future? Should I be? I don't know. And I have no idea how I should handle things if the government really refuses to give me a scholarship (which is very competitive and prestigious). I think I would lose faith in the system completely and who knows what might happen from there.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
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apha9f
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{
"description": "telling woman I've never met that her husband was trying to hook up with me online",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
WIBTA if I (F29) tell woman I’ve never met that her husband was trying to hook up with me online?
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Apparently I’m the last person to notice that the Words With Friends game is also a way to hook up (women take note)! I recently downloaded the app out of boredom and got talking to what seemed like a lovely guy. We got on well and swapped numbers, this soon turned into a LOT of flirting, him suggesting we meet, he sent me photos, and we talked every day for about a week.
He told me was single, he’d been divorced for a year and had no children.
Having recently watched a lot of catfish, I thought I’d just check he was a real person. I put his phone number into Facebook and found his business profile with his photos and full name on it. I wasn’t too bothered and what he’d said so far matched up to this business page, so once I’d seen that I didn’t look any further.
I noticed one day that he’d blocked my number and sent me a message on words with friends saying that his phone was broken but he could still talk on the game as he has an iPad - red flag!
So I decided to put his full name into Facebook having discovered it on his business page, and found his personal profile, his wife’s and plenty of photos of his new baby! Needless to say I blocked him straight away.
Now this all happened about a month ago, but it’s been playing on my mind because I would hate to be her and not know.
He clearly does this a lot, so my question to you, would I be the asshole if I told her?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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|
WIBTA If i told a friend that i expect them to pay their share for car trips?
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Long time reader, first time poster (so sorry if the format is off)! English isn't my first language either, so grammar/spelling/phrasing might be off. Anyways, this question have been bothering me for a bit, so i thought I would seek some opinions here.
A bit of backstory: Me and two other childhood friends moved to the same city to attend university, two of us have driver license and our own cars, but the third have neither. All three of are from the same small town which is a few hours away from the city were we currently goes to university. Between the two of us that have cars there is no problem, we have an agreement that we each pay half of the trip, or changes the car we use every other time (for shorter trips)
The problem is that this third friend, who never/rarely pays anything or offers to pay during or after a trip, usually these trips where the third friend is involved is to/from the city where we studies, and our hometown! On the trip we need to take ferries, and the other expenses is fuel and the normal wear and tear. So a one way trip would be an estimated 130$, and since we are all students that means that none of us have that much money.
Therefor I feel that we should share the expenses, and that it is unfair that I or the other friend (sometimes both of us) should pay everything so that the third friend can get to our hometown for free.
When neither the other friend or I are going to our hometown the third friend usually takes bus and train, and complains a bit about it.
&#x200B;
So WIBTA if I told the third friend that they will need to start paying or share the expenses if they want a ride?
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a839ok
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"description": "being annoyed at my tutor for sniffling and coughing",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
AITA For being annoyed at my tutor for sniffling and coughing?
|
So while we work my tutor has a habit of doing things such as rubbing his feet coughing and sniffing over my macbook for example. Also frequently has the habit of rubbing his feet which is also frustrating. He has a need to touch alot of stuff and I find it to be kinda annoying since his hands are dirty. He says its fine but i dont think so i find it to be rude to do that on my stuff. What do you guys think is it okay for him to rub his feet then type on my macbook? AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "having no compassion for a man going through a tough divorce",
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|
AITA for having no compassion for a man going through a tough divorce?
|
I have a group of pals who I’m not exactly close with, but we hang out together from time to time. Among them is a man who I don’t particularly like because he’s a massive misogynist. He often spouts sexist bullshit like “women are dumber than men, all they care about is shopping, they’re too irrational and full of drama” etc. Because our circle is mainly men, most of the time it just gets laughed off and nobody calls him out except me.
A year ago, he told his wife he didn’t love her anymore. (Unsurprisingly, she didn’t react well.) A few months after he disappeared and we haven’t heard from him in a while. Turns out his wife filed for divorce, kicked him out of their house, and called the police on him and claimed he was trying to rob and assault her when he and a friend went to pick up his things, so he’s now living with a friend and feeling pretty depressed. Someone suggested taking him out for drinks to cheer him up and when I was asked if I would go, I said no thanks. A couple of people called me callous and said that I should have more compassion for him, but I really don’t feel bad? The police call sucked, yeah, but as for the rest... Wouldn’t say it’s exactly karma, more like things happened exactly as he’d expect them to, so he should feel vindicated. I haven’t met his wife but he has always had this toxic view of women, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew she was manipulative from the start but thought it was just “her being a woman” and married her anyway. Don’t know if I can blame her much either, living with someone who hates your gender must be taking a serious toll on your mental health, not to mention being told they don’t love you anymore. I’m not saying what she did was right, but I still can’t feel much compassion for someone who willingly put himself into a bad situation, and who’s a sexist jerk to boot. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "wanting to cut off my best friends girlfriend",
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|
AITA for wanting to cut off my best friends girlfriend?
|
Sorry, I’m on mobile do formatting may be weird. English is not my first language either, so forgive me for any mistakes.
Anyways. About 3 weeks ago, the day before my birthday, I was quite distressed from working a stressful job and not really being able to rest at all for the whole weekend. I started panicking and withdrew so I wouldn’t have a panic attack and what/not. I struggle with schizophrenia, and meds aren’t always 100% effective. Or even usually to be honest. (yay 3rd world country) I began stressing out and having hallucinations of different versions of myself, and each one was criticising me for failing at my job, relying on drugs to live, etc etc. One of my friends girlfriends noticed how badly I was feeling and she offered to walk with me a bit outside to cool down without seeming rude. I obviously accepted, and soon we were chatting about stuff when I suddenly broke down. I started talking about an insecurity I was struggling with. Since I have an extremely low self-esteem tied to my dad leaving my family, I find it difficult to believe that anyone truly cares for me and will stay around for me.
I expressed this to her (I’ll call her J) and talking to her really helped. I was able to sort out some of those feelings, and she was able to help me realise just how deep the damage was, which I am forever grateful for.
The next day I was walking home with her boyfriend (M). We stopped because of an owl, and he revealed that she had told him about my insecurity. M apologised for not showing that he cared about me enough. See, M had once been my best friend about 6 years ago, and he was honestly my only friend. If it wasn’t for M, my depression and schizophrenia probably would have driven me off the rails and ended me by the time I was 16.
I immediately felt betrayed. I felt like I had shared something super personal with J and she told M without even asking me first. As soon as I got home, I sent her a text saying “I know you told M, and that really hurt. I thought I could trust you. Please don’t try to contact me for a while.”
Some of my other friends who learned a bit of the story told me that J was just trying to do her best to help any way she could. I haven’t spoken to her about it since.
AITA for wanting to cut her off because of this situation? Should I try to see it from her point of view or am I justified in feeling betrayed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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