id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
PMu5VnKARTYkDsR6uTUPRt8Q5nthGZFr
|
ajwtzc
|
{
"description": "resenting my brother for making fun of my deformity when we were children",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For resenting my brother for making fun of my deformity when we were children?
|
I am now 29. My older half brother is 33.
When i was very young I was burned very badly on my face and arms and chest. I cant grow hair on parts of my head, my ear is curved, and my eye is sort of droopy. The other scars on my arms and chest i can cover up.
I was very shy growing up because of this. I didnt have any real friends or social interaction. My mom would try to arrange play dates but no kids would play with me at the park. When i was six my mom would have my brother play with me. When we were alone he was nice to me, but when he was around his friends he would say I looked like a little Freddy Krueger. I didnt know who this was until halloween but even still i played along because i wanted to play with other kids. I would tell my mom me and my bobo were just playing.
I went as batman for halloween but my brothers friend had me take off my costume and go as tiny freddie krueger. And i didnt like this because he was a bad guy and i wanted to be good but i did it anyway.
As we grew up i became sort of the running joke. My brother would have me hide around corners and have girls run into me and scream, like i was a monster. I was 12 and he made me do this with my crush who i like.
At the beach whenever i would show the rest of my body they would laugh at me saying i dont need a tan.
He would take turns calling me quasimodo or lil freddy even when i grew as tall as him despite our age.
He wouldnt hang out with me at all as i got older because his friends didnt like me anymore since i was to shy to do their pranks.
When i was 14 i was in highschool and my brother had just left, so i had to make my own friends. My stepdad was very supportive and had me try out for football since i was taller. I learned to make friends and i had a lot of self confidence. During my junior year i told my brother that he was wrong to treat me like that. He didnt apologize and said that i was having fun.
I am now married and have a good life. My brother is very successful and is also religious now. He has apologized now that hes an adult. But i think back on all the times i would consider suicide or felt like a freak or that i wasnt good enough and i cry. I cant forgive him. I hate him.
I do see a religious counselor (not involved with my brothers church) who advises me to forgive but i disagree. I feel like i missed out on having a real childhood. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cnYOIS1YkRm53RqpyPFHTp1rpdlDAeRM
|
afl5uy
|
{
"description": "screaming at my mother in this situation",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA am I the asshole for screaming at my mother in this situation?
|
tl;dr at the bottom.
So, currently I'm having lots of problems at school. I'm failing several subjects, overall pretty bad grades and deadlines and test dates are busting my ass. After being the "good kid" with perfect grades, attendance and politeness when I was younger, I'm not used to having to study.
So now I have unbearable stress with studying, homework and presentations, which I can not cope with due to depression. I just can't get myself to do anything besides lying in bed and worrying about my grades. Often I sleep even if I'm not tired just to escape the suffocating feeling of stress.
I am very aware that at my age, the depression is more often than not teen depression, but a) that doesn't make the feelings any less valid b) I've been feeling this way and wanting to die since age 8 and c) I feel like shit regardless of what type of depression it is.
Over the last months, I've been opening up to my mother about my feelings and how I want to die. How when I was 9, I would pray to the gods every night in bed, begging for death. I am a very prideful and self confident person, so opening up like that was already a huge blow to my self esteem, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt a lot better, and at first she was very nice to me - I knew that it was ingenuine, but I didn't care; I just had to get it off my chest.
The worst thing about my depression or whatever it is is the heavy feeling. Holy shit, I almost cannot describe that feeling. It feels like my body is filled with wet sand or steel. My limbs become heavy, my heart drops, I get nauseous, a knot forms in the back of my throat, and I just want to end it all. This feeling comes when I have to make decisions and have to be responsible, and when I have to do very important things. It's not nervosity; nervosity is cold sweaty hands, a stale mouth and andrenaline - the heavy feeling is the exact opposite. I feel warm, almost hot, my stomach is cramped, my heart aches, and I feel like I'm about to break through the floor because all the heavy, wet sand in my body.
Anyway, when I told her about that, she told me that all those years, she and my dad thought that I was just a lazy piece of shit.
Instead of cheering me up, trying to help and motivate me, she just put more pressure and me. Do this, do that. Have you done that and that already? You have to get movin, young lady!
She was CONVINCED that I just had to get up and do something. I just had to cheer up. Get more fresh air. Spend less time in front of the phone etc. The typical r/wowthanksimcured stuff.
Whenever I try to talk to her about feeling horribly again, I expect a hug, a kiss on the cheek and her telling me that I'll get through it, I can do it, everything will be okay etc. I just want someone that gives me the power to want to survive, because I've been running on empty for the last 6-7 months.
What do I get?
"Just do your work", "you just have to get out of bed and do anything productive for once", "why don't you just get up and do it?".
This is all correct; I know all that myself.
But I can't.
I physically cannot get myself to do it.
And at first, I was like yea, thanks mom, I know. You don't have to tell me. I just want you to give me confidence, and lend me an ear. You don't have to give me advice, I just want it off my chest.
But she doesn't listen.
She goes on and on, making it sound like I'm a lazy piece if trash once again.
This has been going on for about three months now. I tell her about my problems, she blames me or something completely unrelated (my phone for example) and tells me to do what I have to do. I tell her that telling me that I useless because I already know, but she keeps going.
At this point I feel very insulted when she goes on with her usual tirade, because I feel like she doesn't even listen when I tell her something and she just wants to force me to do it her way instead of offering emotional support.
It's always the same.
I ask her if she has time to talk a bit, she says yeah, I tell her whats wrong, and she tells me what to do in a way that makes me feel like it's my fault. After our talks I always feel worse than before, but I have nobody but her to talk about my problems.
And today I snapped.
She comes into my room uncalled for, invades my privacy and starts talking the same shit as always to me. I tell her that she is being very mean to me right now and that I feel like she is belittling me. She doesn't care. We go back and forth for a while, both becoming more aggressive, and me starting to cry from anger and frustration. I have been having anger issues for as long as I can think, so I ask her to leave my room as I can feel the anger boiling up. I have snapped before and when I do, there's no holding me back - and since we're both very physically strong women, we would probably both end up in the hospital if a fight ensued.
I ask her to leave - she doesn't listen. I ask her again and again, becoming more and more aggressive, and she doesn't listen.
At this point I stand right in front of her, face to face, our noses centimeters from each other. I'm still crying, tears streaming down my face, my eyes swollen and red, my fists balled. I try to shove her out of my door, and she....
....she laughs.
She laughs, right in my face, her eyes locked onto mines.
She tries to say some bullshit, but I have had enough.
I am not going to get laughed at for reaching out for help by my mother.
I shove her out the door, screaming that she is no help and that she should just shut up if she doesn't have anything to say that matters. I screamed things along those lines at her, still crying and trembling of anger. I didn't call her names, I didn't use any of her weaknesses. I just told her what I had been thinking for the last months.
At one point, she wipes the stupid grin off her face and starts to look sad.
"Oh. Ok.", she says, really quietly and as if I hurt her. She then walked away.
This is something that I know the does to manipulate her children into doing what she wants; she's been doing it for years.
And even if I know she's just trying to make me feel bad for her.... it works, god damn it. I am a very harsh person, and she always makes me question if I went to far even if I know I didn't.
Now I feel really bad once again and I really don't know if I'm the asshole for screaming at her or if she's the asshole for pushing me too far.
tl;dr:
My mother constantly puts me down and then expects me to be nice to her. Today I screamed at her after her harrassing me for too long and then she acted all sad and hurt.
Am I the asshole for screaming at her?
Sorry for any English errors.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
eg03EJjcPytmoo2Eu2BtrM0URvbuDUTs
|
b2755f
|
{
"description": "not reciprocating an invitation",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not reciprocating an invitation
|
My daughter is turning 10 this week (yay, double digits). The party site has a strict cap of 11 kids for parties. We invited 9 plus her sister, and one declined. No big deal-- down to 10 girls. Still a fun party.
We got a text last night from a mom we don't really know saying that her daughter heard about my daughter's party and asking if her daughter was invited. For background this girl did invite my daughter to a party about a month ago but it was clear she wasn't on the A-list, since she wasn't on the first set of invites. And that party was relatively structureless at the dad's home (living apart) with a lot of phone time, etc. (I know, 9-10 y/o's on phones).
We decided to call the venue this morning to ask if we could even add another child. They said yes. She's coming. Yay again.
But I'm still really irritated. This isn't at all about the extra head cost. It's the chutzpah. Who does this?
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VOwl7Vy4TkujaGKSGDeAFptmRmcgYFsR
|
a4q69k
|
{
"description": "thinking my wife needs to grow up",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for thinking my wife needs to grow up?
|
So there's a lot of story but I'll start with the TL;DR: I came out as transgender (mtf) and my wife came out as pansexual. Her very Mormon family flipped out. Her sister blocked me on Facebook making my wife angry because we're a package deal. Her sister refused to acknowledge my pronouns until recently. A bunch more drama ensues - most of it around me and my relationship with my niece. Her sister is either lying about what happened, a 1 in a billion glitch happened, or she honestly has memory issues. So her sister won't apologize and is mad at being called a liar. Her daughter (our niece) is crying about missing us. I bumped into them and she spent 5 minutes explaining to her daughter my new pronouns and how I am a girl. Wife is still upset and hurt and doesn't want to fix things. A child is honestly crying over not seeing us. I'm mad. I've nicely talked about it with her, because I know she's hurting so me being angry won't help. But in my mind she needs to grow up, be the bigger person, and work stuff out with her sister - even if it means compromising things she'd rather not. AITA for being upset here?
So to go into more detail. We announced leaving the mormon church and came out all in one fell swoop. My wifes sister and her fought because she didn't tell her. Her sister said it was a betrayal not to confide on her and that she should have told her the moment she knew I was transgender. At this point, my wife actually brought up conversations where she tried, and brought up transgender people in general and her sister said down right transphobic things. Even saying that all transgender people are child molesters. Her sister acknowledged that she said those things, acknowledged that she still felt those things and then told her sister it wasn't too late to leave me.
My wife goes on a tirade for about 2-3 months on Facebook with bi-weekly posts about how the mormon church is an awful organization. I post daily, I use rhetoric that I know is hurtful because I'm mad. It's part of what happens when you find out your depression was preyed upon to bring you to a false-god. Rightfully, this causes some distress to her family, sister included.
Her sister uses the take a break option on Facebook with me making it so I can only see her public posts. The next week she calls my wife and tells her she misses talking and can they chat more about life. She doesn't use the right pronouns for me and when confronted with it she says she never will. Invites my wife to my nieces birthday and at that point my wife agrees to go because she knows my niece shouldn't be caught in between them.
My wife goes and is informed of the rules. No telling the niece to call me aunt (I was specifically told I wasn't invited). They weren't to use my pronouns around her while talking about me. And there would be no talk of me transitioning. The niece was told to only refer to me by John (pretend dead name so I don't dox myself) or it (not he or she). My wife comes home and says that she wouldn't deal with her sister if it wasn't for the niece.
A few months go by and it's my wifes birthday. I'm big on family and conversations with her mom were going well - though tenuous. I asked her if she wanted to get together with them and her response was, only so we can see the niece. So I set it all up. I was told I wasn't allowed to be alone with the niece ever and I wasn't to hug her or touch her unless she was in immediate danger. And the same rules my wife had before. When I asked why I was told that I know why. Now, bear in mind, Brother In Law has been relatively silent about this, but chose to enforce these rules with me. His brother lived with them, child-sat and was alone with their daughter for hours at a time. Not really noteworthy his brother if you ignore the fact that he had just gotten out of a 5 year prison stay for sexually assaulting children as young as the niece.
The birthday party comes and goes and my wife agrees that her mom is really trying and would like to see more of her. We hang out with her mom once a month and anytime I'm in the area for work I get together alone with her for lunch or dinner. She's treating my wife better than I have ever seen her, and honestly she's fun to be around most times. We have a great time and we've worked most of it out. She struggles to use my pronouns, but no more than my own mom and she's always quick to correct herself. She hasn't used my dead name in months, so the relationship is thriving there.
One day, at a lunch with her, I find out that my wifes sister is having a pretty big surgery and unexpectedly within a week. She never calls my wife or texts her only letting her find out if it went well through her husband Facebook post (which I couldn't see still). This drives a bigger wedge between them. During her surgery there was a moment where her heart stopped and that caused them to talk to their daughter about death. (She's 6). Every night since she prays she gets to see her aunt and me before we die. (Were in our 20s so it's not about to happen, but she doesn't get that). My mother in law informs me of this and the fact that she's cried quite a few times about it during a phonecall trying to plan Christmas.
Well, my wifes sister messaged her last week and went with the whole we never talk and it's because of you (despite never reaching out herself) and I want to know why. So my wife tells her it's because she doesn't respect me, treats me worse than an actual pedophile she knows, and blocked me on Facebook. We're a package deal, if you cut one of us out of your life you cut the other. They go back and forth and the sisters timeline doesn't match up to when she actually blocked me - she says it was after the birthday party but we know that's not the case (thanks to my religious journaling). She then unblocked me and claims that she had done it weeks ago but conveniently didn't actually take effect until the same day she was confronted about it. They never resolved the issue and my wife called her a liar and stopped responding.
I happened to have another lunch with my mother in law the next day and it had snowed so my wifes sister had to borrow her moms car so I had to pick her up at their place. Well, she fell in the driveway, so when we got back from lunch I shoveled their driveway. My wifes sister pulled up with my niece in the backseat and my niece was desperately trying to get out but my wifes sister was talking to her. A five minute conversation later and they got out. My niece used the right pronouns and the right name. My wifes sister never used any pronouns or names. She did let my niece give me a hug goodbye.
So I tell my wife all this. She knows about my crying niece. She knows all of it and she still doesn't want to try to fix things. I've told her she doesn't have to take blame. I've told her you can fix things by giving her another chance. She's clearly trying herself and my wife says it sucks for the niece but her sister refuses to acknowledge her wrongdoing and until she does she won't see her. My wife has acknowledge her wrongdoing to her.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad about the things she's said and done but I'd rather move forward and fix family issues than let them get worse. I haven't used the words grow up with my wife. Like I said, when we talk about this, I am calm, cool and collected. I've tried to reason with her. I've talked about the turmoil its cause everyone. She says without an apology and acceptance of wrongdoing she won't see her. While her sister is clearly trying (or at least pretending to try for her daughters sake) she wants and demands an apology.
Until we came out and left the mormon church they were super close. They have lived together in adulthood. They have always been two peas in a pod. But then everything happened and now my wife won't move past it.
AITA for thinking my wife needs to grow up and be the bigger person here? Or is she right in her anger.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
ynopRjcociWXmErZOMXmiDtaz7ECGYhb
|
avm0vf
|
{
"description": "not going to my family reunion because my mom won't allow my boyfriend and I to sleep in the same bed/room",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't go to my family reunion because my mom won't allow my boyfriend and I to sleep in the same bed/room?
|
Both my boyfriend (39M) and I (27F) were raised very religiously, although in different religions, and are no longer practicing or have any desire to rejoin. We do not look back fondly on that time of our lives to put it lightly. We have lived together for almost a year (dating for almost 2) and definitely plan to get married eventually.
​
My mom and her husband are planning on a small family reunion in 2 weeks; my family hasn't seen her in about a year, and she has not yet met my boyfriend. The reunion destination is 4 hours away by car and is in a remote location so a hotel is not a possibility. There will be approximately 17 of us staying in this house over 3-4 days, and she said it sleeps 18 total but there are only 3 bedrooms? It is unclear where everyone will sleep.
​
My mom was upfront about the sleeping arrangement rules... once I asked. She stated her & her husband were excited to meet/get to know my boyfriend but that unless we got married and didn't tell them, we have to sleep separately. I was expecting some sort of scriptural explanation or something but all she sent (this is all by text) was "Based on God's moral standards, no sex before marriage." I let her know that we would consider having sex during this time, under the same roof as family, to be both gross and rude but I didn't receive a reply. Considering all of the people coming/going I suggested wouldn't it be easier for us to stay in the same bed, to consolidate space, but she replied "It would be easier, but you're not married, so no it wouldn't be easier."
​
I told my mom that I'm fully prepared to respect their rules because I know it's their house, their rules. I don't want to push back too much but I can't help but feel.. unaccepted? Our family relationship is already strained; in short I am the black sheep. I am only in regular contact with 3 of the 17 people attending (my sister, BIL, and my mom). The rest do not speak to me or invite me to family events. This would be my boyfriend's first time meeting my mom/extended family and I'm afraid of how this situation will make him feel once we get there. I'm afraid of all the people in one house, at one time, leading to my boyfriend having to share a room with people he has never met or on a shitty cot or something.
​
Mom did say, at least, he won't have to sleep in the garage.
​
So, Reddit. Tell it to me real.
WIBTA if I said we just couldn't make it? Or should we suck it up? Do I have any basis to argue their Rules?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
si5Q7b2m7xwIeoibN1cfxpBLW1lxKqyu
|
ahm5lr
| null |
AITA because my ex-girlfriend blocked me on everything?
|
I’ll try and be as objective as possible but basically my ex and I have been broken up for nearly 6 months now after a 3 year relationship, the last 7 months of it was long distance (different states).
We broke things off almost mutually and it was a very smooth break up and we were still keeping in touch every now and then however a couple of months after we broke up she told me she had hooked up with my mate two weeks after we split. This didn’t exactly make me feel great and I didn’t really talk to her much after that and my friendship with my mate hasn’t really healed either. I understand I can’t control what she does but I felt I still had a right to be annoyed.
She came back in to town about 5 weeks ago and we met up for lunch which was a huge eye-opener for me. She didn’t neccesarily act out-of-character but as someone who wasn’t her boyfriend anymore it made me realise I don’t think I really connect with her anymore and genuinely have no interest in being her friend due to her (likely unintentional) controlling and toxic attitude throughout the lunch.
We wouldn’t really text much but when she did they would always end up including something along the lines of her “missing me a little bit.” To try and not lead her on or give her any ideas my replies would be relatively short.
Fast forward to today and she started accusing me of treating her like a stranger and that it “hurts her”. I understand why she might feel like that but anytime I’ve used the “hooking up with my mate” defence she always says I can’t use that as a reason so I just didn’t bother arguing with her because I have no motivation to resolve what in my eyes seems un-resolvable.
Basically, because I didn’t really participate in an argument I don’t want to have she has blocked me on all forms of social media.
AITA in this whole situation because I don’t want to be friends with someone who hooked up with my mate two weeks after we broke up and has an overall controlling personality I don’t want in my life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ExXTUmX8cUGVfcQMMHIC3PNSW2Y4UpXD
|
azw371
|
{
"description": "putting a time limit on a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for putting a time limit on a relationship?
|
Back in college, I was a senior and met a sophomore. I went to college 9 hours away and had no intention of staying in that area after I finished. I made it clear to her that I was going home after I graduate and that I dont believe in long distance relationships. At that point we didnt do anything, maybe one kiss and that was it but no sex no nothing. I let her make the decision since I didn't want to deceive her into thinking that I would change my mind and made sure to reiterate multiple times that it wouldn't last once the new school year started (she lived only an hour away from me so summer we would still date).
Well after a week she said she still wanted to date me. I asked her if she had thought it through and she said yes. Fast forward to the month we broke it off, she dropped the "I love you" bomb hoping that it would change my mind.....it didnt. I stuck true to what I said and broke it off.
I've always been told that i was in the wrong and took advantage of her even though I made it clear multiple times that it wouldn't last.
So, AITA for allowing that relationship to even happen?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
jpQ9k72v0edxwYfF2HVrQvz4LxeBQja5
|
b2cepb
|
{
"description": "telling a guy that a friend was flirting with to back off",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling a guy that a friend was flirting with to back off?
|
Mobile post
My friend was in a four year relationship with her bf, R, who she met around the same time as me. R and I spent a lot of time together because of her and I thought he was a great guy. He was very good to her, and I respected him a lot for treating my friend the way everyone wants their friends to be treated.
My friend had an affair three years in. She cheated on him with a co-worker for several months and felt terrible about it. She didn't stop the affair but she often complained to me that she felt like shit for what she was doing and wanted to stop.
We went out in my bday and got super drunk. A guy was trying to hit on her while she was wasted and we were waiting on our Uber. I stepped in and said "sorry, she has a boyfriend" while he was asking for her number. He told me to stop being me and I told him to have some respect for himself and other people's relationships. She was kinda miffed (she has hooked up with other guys while out with me before) but I didn't care at the time because I was drunk.
What do you think. AITA for stepping in?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
7vXzbTvjvArvYnNJAelKLqF2qUhTBnfQ
|
akt8ny
|
{
"description": "being semi-responsible of breaking my friend's phone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being semi-responsible of breaking my friend's phone?
|
Me and my friend were both out casually riding our bikes last summer. He wanted to show me a funny video on his newly bought Samsung S8. He took it out of his pocket and tried to find it still riding, no hands on the handlebars. I was riding right in front of him when he told me to stop so he can show me. I braked and somehow lost my balance and swerved slightly to the left. I tried to regain the balance with my arms and my elbow hit his phone and sent it flying. It smashed on concrete. To this day he says that it was my fault for my god awful riding skills. I think that he shouldn't have used his brand new phone on a bike not keeping a safe distance. Should I admit that I am in the wrong or the other way around?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
WNgNnTlPNDNSgpamLaUyYiPfOWcYeCKb
|
b7rmc6
|
{
"description": "not attending a party with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not attending a party with my GF?
|
My girlfriend texted me at 3 pm yesterday to ask me if I could attend one of her friends birthday party which she RSVP for a month ago but did not remember until her friend texted about car pooling. The party was being held at 5 pm and it was 3 pm when she got the text. First of all, I should say that both my girlfriend and I are extremely introverted. She asked me and I said I did not feel like socializing. She implored for me to go with her and how having me there with her would make it possible for her to leave earlier. I still said no, because all I wanted to do this weekend was to sit my ass at home. she ended up going alone. Later that night she sent me a long text stating that she felt that I had a choice and I did not choose her.
​
AIAA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0xZTPAOYCPpuKjqzAHIdIzmT3n5f6Ysg
|
ac8hmm
|
{
"description": "trying to get my bf to understand",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for trying to get my bf to understand
|
AITA, basically, my bf wants to meet up with this girl , they say they are just freinds , and I'm okay with that , I get jealous really easy , after he cheated on his ex with someone , it makes you think they could cheat on you , and I was told he cheated on me with his friend ( she said that they were drunk , and they had sex , she did not give consent) I love him so much, I choose to believe his side of the story , which is of course , that it never happened. So , he tells me about meeting up with a girl, and I say okay , it's fine, I say I want to talk later , then he keeps on saying " are you okay" I wasn't , but I didn't want to start a fight, because he should be able to see anyone he wants , and I should not be so jealous. However , I say if he is aloud to meet up with this girl , then I should be able to meet up with this guy , yes , the guy in question did have romantic feelings to me , and , I knew when I sent it , it was unfair , but , I guess I wanted him to feel like I did. Which is yes, mean .
AITA for getting jealous of this girl
AITA for not letting the pass go
AITA for wanted to meet up with my friend
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
IlVb3kJw1mQU9rIRF7XQZz5ZCHS5HorE
|
az9kfr
|
{
"description": "asking a friend to compensate me for the bonus he caused me to lose",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA if I asked a friend to compensate me for the bonus he caused me to lose?
|
About 2 months ago a a friend of mine was working for Doordash and I was working for Postmates. He convinced me to switch to Doordash because of a promotion. After I completed 150 deliveries within the 60 day limit, he would receive a $1500 bonus and I would receive a $100 bonus. We agreed that I would be getting kinda fucked over, especially because Postmates is a much better platform. (better pay, more flexible, much less technical and logistical issues). We agreed to split both bonuses so each of us would receive $800. The other day we were texting and the bonus came up, conversation went like this.
​
Friend: You think you'll get it by next week?
Me: Yup.
Friend: Only one prob, I blocked the account.
Me: What does that mean?
Friend: I don't know if I'm gonna receive the promo.
Me: It bothers me that you're just telling me this now, like I still feel you should give me the $800 if you don't get the money.
Friend: Yeah... no, you're on crack.
​
To be clear "I blocked the account" meant he blocked the number that sent him notifications and deleted the app. I don't think this is at all gonna be a problem, I'm mainly posting this cause I'm interested in the hypothetical. I fell he would owe me as I have been working for both of us the last month and a half. Without the bonus I would be losing money considering I would be making more with postmates, also I have dealt with a considerable amount of bullshit with Doordash's faulty platform.
​
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
uDFxsDpBdBYQNia2f0mUe4HGqSU2uNPD
|
awti1d
|
{
"description": "lying to get out of going to my gf's improv comedy meeting",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for lying to get out of going to my gf’s improv comedy meeting?
|
Gf does improv comedy with a group. I’ve went to their shows several times to show my support. The problem is that it’s never funny. It’s usually just awkward and dull skits. I have to fake laugh through the whole thing and then hang out with her group mates after and lie about how much I enjoyed it.
I like that she’s putting herself out there. It takes a ton of courage to go up on stage, especially with no script.
Last night her group was performing. I faked being sick to get out of going. I only have one day off this week, today. I really just wanted to stay home, catch up on tv, and drink.
I felt like if I told her that she might catch on that I really don’t love her improv comedy as much as I say I do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
EHBrF2NQMyx6eFZ6zmDX2RovCRmzslQ4
|
ayj4oy
|
{
"description": "having reflexes",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for having reflexes?
|
So, my aunts came to visit me on my birthday and we all got in a ordinary conversation, hugged each other and then went to the kitchen where my mom was washing some dishes.
I suffer from an anxiety disorder and getting too many things going on my face is one of the triggers, like when you have bugs flying towards your face or when theres too many things moving near it, I also should mention I'm 22 and dont have contact with her too often.
As my other aunt was talking to my mom, she came to talk to me, asking about college and how it was going, i answered and then she went to poke my face and try to smudge it, I tried to turn my face away so she would stop but she continued even faster, then I just grabbed her arm and pulled it down, she looked shocked and it took a few moments me holding her arm and then she held my hand and talked about my ring, they gone home shirtly after.
She didnt know about my anxiety, and I dont blame her completely, but you just dont go poking peoples faces, specially when you arent even close.
Another thing is that I dont know if I had a light or strong grip on her arm, It just happened that I had not time to think about that day but my mom just lectured me how I should be the nicest to them, but I dont fully trust her opinion because she dont want me to stand up for myself in any case, because engaging a confrontation will make her look like a bad and shamefull parent.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
UPqblqCjOypq98tbeeYSbrQyTDckoReH
|
a1kv1y
|
{
"description": "trying to cheapen Christmas for my Family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for trying to cheapen Christmas for my Family?
|
Recently, my parents have elected to spend more money on Christmas and fun events as my dad just got another job (was unemployed for about 2 years). When I say a new job, he is a marketing executive, and my mom is a teacher, so when unemployed we are lower-middle class where as when he is employed we are upper-middle. This has lead to more expensive purchases for fun.
However, I know my parents don't have nearly enough saved for retirement for their age as they were barely treading water during the last 2 years, and when pressing them about it they often say "fun now with you is our top priority", as I am the youngest and am in college, so they do not have much time with younger adults left. Plus, I understand that living poor for 2 years is not fun, so they want to have that now. I also know a major factor in them saying this is that my high school and early college days were very rough, and my dad in particular feels bad about "taking a normal childhood away from me" by sending me to private school and pushing me really hard (spending a lot of our money on me, which I feel bad about, but this post is not about me). Now I don't feel so bad about sacrificing fun at my current age and so despite the push back, I have declined the offering of fun events and gifts on the grounds its too much money and they can start saving.
In response to push backs like this, I often hear things like "quit trying to make this about money", "you need to have once in a while", "I don't care how much it costs", and other statements of varying negativity toward me and the cost in general. I feel like this is fiscally irresponsible, but I also feel bad for "cramping the style" of my family right now and being the only one with a problem with spending.
Side note: I don't know their financial situation fully, so I can only estimate from what I have seen maybe 2 years ago (begin of the unemployment) about what they have saved. It is possible that they have saved a lot since then, as the family is only three people now (my bro is staying home for a year then moving out) as opposed to four and my dad has a job now, so its possible I am assuming the worst. But, I still feel like saving is better than fun at the moment.
​
TLDR: AITA for saying no to events and gifts for Christmas on the grounds that it would cost to much for my parents/family
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
hH0ik3SSypsw9AUbeYQFQD451MQfgLQU
|
b3y777
|
{
"description": "faking a trip to avoid being forced to work on my day off",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for faking a trip to avoid being forced to work on my day off?
|
So I work part time true to mental health issues after an assault. Normally I’m supposed to work Wednesday thru Friday and then every other Saturday. Twice this month my manager asked me to cover a Tuesday morning as well and to be nice and helpful I did.
Then she scheduled me for another Tuesday without asking because of an emergency at another location. Ok fine.
But then this week I’m supposed to have Saturday thru Tuesday free and when I got my schedule, I had been put on the schedule for this Sunday.
Now I haven’t worked a Sunday in months. I do classes for my hobby on Sundays. And I’m not always great about just saying no so I lied and said I was out of town.
Was I an asshole? Should I be available even on days off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
tvy9wF241LNRuMJYLg7GStH30C2qEYZP
|
anh8f4
|
{
"description": "not eating at regular intervals",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not eating at regular intervals?
|
I'll start it off with this. I'm not a meals person, and I've never been one. Sure, I'll sit down with family to eat a lunch, or any other scheduled meal, but on my own I rarely ever sit down for a real meal. I still live with my parents, but I'm in college and have a part time job. This puts me on my own schedule 70-80% of the day. This normally isn't a problem, but recently it's become more of one. My father will ask me if I've eaten [insert meal here like breakfast] and I'll say no, because I haven't and don't plan on it. He will want me to get something to eat, and I'll decline saying I'm not hungry. I've done this for years, and every time he will relentlessly insist that I eat a meal. Most of the time I have no choice but to sit down and eat a little bit, and it usually costs me no harm. Lately however, he's gotten a little more hostile about me not eating meals. He has said things like "it's rude of you to not want to eat on everyone's schedule" and "I don't know if you're just being difficult or rude, saying you aren't hungry, but I don't care for it." He's said on multiple occasions that it doesn't matter what I think/feel about eating, and that I should be eating at meal time. Come home from work around dinner time? I'm not that hungry, but I've gotta load my plate or else I'm being rude. I'm sure you get the gist of it. Today just a little bit ago, I got a call from him about whether or not I had eaten lunch. Of course, I haven't and he asked if I wanted lunch. I said no, I'm not that hungry and he got angry at me for "being difficult and obtuse". AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
wU5CosFITH0hOZwQmp7Ns6FvnieFl8FX
|
anb55j
|
{
"description": "refusing my landlords hospitality",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing my landlords hospitality?
|
I'm writing on mobile so sorry in advance for poor formatting
So this happened yesterday and I walked just walked home from school to find out my mom locked the door. (I don't have a spare key)
So I went to my landlord to ask if they had a spare key, which they didn't.
But they offered to let me stay for awhile. But I really didn't want to so I called my aunt to pick me up instead.
I feel really bad about saying no. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kJMXsztffiSzqKRNqzgVyCiUOFdVSYml
|
an0e6m
|
{
"description": "asking my neighbor what's the problem when he goes into my front yard kinda rushing",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my neighbor what's the problem when he goes into my front yard kinda rushing?
|
So a little bg info, I was sitting in my room when I saw my neighbor entering my front yard and leaving the gate open. We keep a dog out and he knows very well that we don't leave the gate open so it doesn't escape. And next he goes in a direction that usually no one goes to and he got out of my sight. So I get out of the room, call my dog so it doesn't escape and since everything he did seemed odd/suspicious, I ask what's happening what's the problem? It ended up just being that his niece's ball fell in my yard while playing.
But apparently that sounded rude enough for him to tell my mom, and her yelling at me that I'm "rude". In their eyes it seemed like I was asking for a fight or something.
My mom suggested that when stuff like that happens I should be "polite" and ask stuff like do you need anything.
In my eyes what I asked seemed perfectly fine, and there is no reason for my neighbor to get offended in a way, when he's clearly entering my property leaving the door open and acting kinda suspicious.
Well my parents and neighbors think the opposite.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1GUcrZ2xCOeVE5IAyTSeukayPHMvSphJ
|
ba2d64
|
{
"description": "refusing to let my sisters kids use my stuff",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I refuse to let my sisters kids use my stuff?
|
So I've moved out of my mum and dad's now, but I still have a few things left in my old bedroom. A few toys, but mainly a load of (pretty much mint condition) books I've collected over the years. The plan being that when I have a bit more of my own space I can move these things over with me.
I'm a bit of a book worm and all my books are very well looked after.
So...everytime I come home, something else has been taken from my room and circulated with my 2 sister's kids (2, 3 and 5). I come home this weekend to find one of my book box sets has been taped back together as the box has been ripped.
AITA if I don't want them to touch my stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lrEoUgDVAVVXp1TvlzyT7SlrfLZ6CINL
|
9v6dbh
|
{
"description": "getting pissed off that my roomate doesn't close the Door when he goes to Pee",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA If I'm Getting Pissed Off that My Roomate Doesn't Close the Door when He Goes to Pee
|
Me and my college roomate who have been friends for 9 years recently got into a dispute. For some reason, he always pees with the door open. (Our room has a personal bathroom) I personally this is nasty as hell as I don't want to accidentally walk in seeing his dick. Not to my surprise I walk into our room and see him taking a piss through the bathroom mirror. Thankfully I didn't see anything but I got pissed off and told to start closing the door. He's telling me I'm overreacting. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
W0L4DrFOJ5uxalfAzP461CwHTrYIodiH
|
b64z2z
|
{
"description": "making out with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for making out with my friend?
|
Reddit, I need some advice and have no-one I can talk to about this.
I met this girl and we hit it off and became close. Turns out we’re both a bit fucked up from things in our past and I guess we bonded over that.
One night out I made out with a guy I know and then ended up making out with her later that night. We talked about it afterwards and I told her I care about her but it was a drunken thing, I’m not ready to be anything for anyone at the moment due to stuff I’m still trying to work through. She said the same.
She admitted later she was pissed I kissed the guy in front of her and wanted to head fuck me by saying she did it because she was bored because I was treating it like a game by kissing them both. I apologised and reiterated the above.
We occasionally made out still. I tried to stop it but then thought why not? We both like each other and know where we stand so what’s the harm? She’d tell me about guys/girls she’d hooked up with and then ask if I was annoyed. I try to put things into perspective so when she’s telling me these things, I know it’s done so what can I do and I don’t have any right to be mad because I’m offering her nothing. But not being mad seems to annoy her and then she says it seems like I don’t care about her.
One night she told me she liked me then drunkenly shouted at me about how I don’t care etc. I tried to calm her down and told her we just should be friends and she basically pushed me against the wall and forcibly kissed me, I told we should talk about it when sober. We talked and everything seemed ok. We still made out at times when we were drunk which I know we shouldn’t but I think we both just needed a cuddle and kiss at times and I didn’t think it was anything special for her because she was still hooking up with other people.
Last month she told me she’s had a hard time with her mum (catholic and not at all supportive of her sexuality), her mum had been asking about us and didn’t believe the truth and was giving her shit. I sympathised and offered to go talk to her mum, she got pissed saying I don’t take things seriously and don’t understand. I asked what she wanted me to do, it’s a shit situation but I can’t control anything about it. She also said she’d slept with someone from work who’s married with kids. I said that’s shit but also it’s not just on her so not to punish herself too much over it, what’s done is done. This probs came off as unsympathetic but I didn’t know what else to say!
After she messaged me saying whatever relationship we have isn’t good for her and its getting to her, she doesn’t think it’s healthy and it’s upsetting her, good luck and then blocked me.
I feel so sad I’ve lost this friendship and have been going over what I should of done differently. Yesterday she randomly unblocked me with a ‘How’s life? :)’ and I don’t want to start being like WTF and argue yet again but I’m so confused right now. So AITA in this situation and WIBTA if I asked WTF is going on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
DpuZQvexFax9Tcy5V0xpOm3LjAYMl6ME
|
b974g9
|
{
"description": "not aplogising to my parents",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not aplogising to my parents?
|
About a week ago my parents, my girlfriend, and I were driving home from a college tour. It was late and we had been in the car for about 4 hours so I was already pretty irritated. So my dad brings up the fact that my flight instructor has just offered me a time in the morning at 7:30. He asked me if I could make and I told him no. I wasn't going to even be awake because we weren't going to be home till at least 12 and I already had a event planned for that morning.
When I told him that he just asked again. This went on for another 6 time until he became angry and started to scream about how I was a POS for not appreciating what is giving to me and how I waste everyone's time and money.
I (stupidly) argued back and we got into a giant fight in front of my GF and it was just rough. When we got home my dad and my mom came to me and told me how ashamed they were of me for how I acted.
Fast forward to today, my family has just kinda ignored me and my existence for the past week. I've been making my own dinners and they just don't talk to me. It's been kinda depressing, I just want the opportunity to just talk to my family.
Along with that today I started a part time job so I can afford to pay for my own gas and other things. But I still don't get paid for another week. So I needed money for; gas, prom (which is this weekend), and some Walmart work clothes. All of which I promised I would pay back with my first pay check. I asked my parents if they could help me out, they responded Yes but only if I apologised for my " terrible " behavior. I just looked at them and said No and left the room.
So I guess the question is AITA for not apologising to my parents after all that happened.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
Z2TeXEJ8fwtXEwccwRjgRLV7sydCKh11
|
azjcd4
|
{
"description": "being upset that my bf invited a friend to stay for the weekend without talking to me first",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset that my bf invited a friend to stay for the weekend without talking to me first?
|
I was really excited for next weekend. One of my best friends (I'll call her Dee) is coming to visit me, and we're going to another close friend's (Omar) birthday party. I haven't seen Dee in almost 6 months and we've been planning this weekend since January. She is also really good friends with Omar and he is really looking forward to seeing her again. This week, my bf informed me he had invited another friend (Ashley) to come up and stay.
I told him I wish he hadn't invited her without talking to me first, and he got very mad at me! I didn't even tell him to un-invite her, I just expressed that in future, I would like him to talk to me. He thinks I'm being controlling and that I'm jealous.
I don't want her to come this weekend because:
a) I don't want to spend the weekend entertaining and cooking for 5 people, I want to spend time catching up with Dee and hanging out with my close friends.
b) I don't actually know Ashley that well. I have nothing against her but she's just not really a person I mesh with, and my bf always tries to force me to spend time with her. She came to visit last summer and I did try to include her but she just thought me and Dee were weird and seemed annoyed.
c) She also didn't really talk to anyone besides me, my bf and a friend of hers from high school, so I feel like I'm going to end up with a tag-along at the party.
Last time she came, I was very sick and hungover and my bf spent the morning with me at my mom's house and she went back to our place. She was PISSED. I could tell a big part of his choice to stay with me was because he was sick of entertaining by this point in the weekend. I was happy he stayed with me but I thought it was really rude of him. He shouldn't invite people unless he's willing to put in the work of playing host all weekend and I'm concerned that if he feels this way again, he's going to pawn her off on me.
I told him I would have just preferred he invited Ashley a different weekend. If Dee wasn't coming I could at least go "study" when I want to get away from his friend. He doesn't know I'm not a big fan of Ashley. I don't want him to feel like he can't be friends with her or can't invite her to stay. He can be friends with whoever he wants but he just needs to be prepared to host all weekend because I don't really want to spend that much time with her. Thinking about this weekend, my feelings have gone from excitement to exhaustion.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
u1tc9c5AYeNBtfsXcnDyNz4VjSSYkl8p
|
a01hjw
|
{
"description": "breaking car window when I see dogs left in car",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for breaking car window when I see dogs left in car?
|
I had a debate with my friend and he said I am the asshole for breaking about a dozen car windows this summer where people had dogs in their cars on hot days, primarily at a gas station. He says I should have just warned the driver because I saw them leave the dog there in almost every case except two. Here’s an example:
I’m sitting in my car at gas station scratching some lotto tickets. I saw a guy pull up in a huge red pickup truck, and left his (I think) German Shepard mix in the truck with the truck on. I immediately made my way over to the truck as the guy was walking into the gas station, and using an aluminum baseball bat I keep specifically for this situation, i began recording to have evidence of the dog in a hot car, and I bash in the rear window of the truck, the drivers window, and the windshield. I left the passenger window as the dog was sitting there wagging its tail at its rescuer and I didn’t want to risk hurting it with stray glass, adorable pup. As I’m retreating to my car to continue my scratch offs and wait for the next perpetrator, the driver of the pickup runs over to me and yells WTF why the fuck did you break my windows? I begin recording on my phone to ensure that any potential assault is caught on camera and I calmly explain that he left his dog in a hot car. He calls me a bunch of names, tries to justify it saying he just ran in to buy a Gatorade and snacks, spent less than 2 mins in the store, etc. but I wasn’t having it and told him to go ahead and call the police and he can explain to them why he left a dog in a hot truck. He cursed me out and left. I did this about a dozen times over the course of the summer.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
JuxyO8GvIE5z4BJ1phxLM69e9WLyh7XJ
|
b5vz3e
|
{
"description": "wanting my Neighbor's Dogs put down",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITAH For Wanting My Neighbor's Dogs Put Down
|
So every since I've moved to Texas, my neighbors has never really talked to us or even acknowledged us. She has 2 big dogs that she keeps in her fenced house. However, she does a shit job at keeping locked. The dogs get out often, resulting with them going onto my property and shiting in my back yard. One of them bit my dad in the leg before, but he simply gave a warning to my stupid neighbor.
Unfortunately, what we anticipated occured unexpectedly.
My 2 small dogs were in my backyard, and one of them went to my front yard to sunbathe. My dad was washing dishes and watching her through the window. What he didn't see were the two dogs who had bad intentions.
They both began to attack my dog, partly skinning her back and digging into her organs. My dad kicks the front door open and tells them to scram but they had her in their mouths. She was yelping in pain. He went inside for the gun but at that point my other neighbor got the dogs inside and locked their gate.
We immediately took her to the vet and she stayed overnight.
My poor dog unfortunately died on Saturday due to internal damage. My neighbor just shrugged and didn't make an effort to at least lock her gate.
We talked to animal control and they can't do anything unless we have evidence her dogs were out. He did say however, that if we feel endangered for our family (including my baby siblings and dog), that we should do whatever we can to defend ourselves, including shooting the dog(s).
Both dogs pooped on the same spot they killed my dog, possibly as a taunt to my other dog. They have tried hurting her too. She is all we have and I cannot lose my other dog.
AITAH for my family wanting to take actions into our own hands?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 35,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
BSc307lWb8RUs7fOQkWeG0rkveWwOW5b
|
abpl56
|
{
"description": "not taking my son out of karate",
"pronormative_score": 67,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not taking my son out of karate?
|
So last January I put my son in karate. They were running a special $1 for 6 weeks and I thought it sounded fun. My son absolutely loved it (he’s 9) so after the 6 week I decided to keep him in it for $169 a month.
I have 2 older daughters 11 and 13 (and a 2 y/o). Neither of the girls seemed to really care that he was in karate or showed any interest in it. Fast forward to June and I find out both girls need braces at $145 per month.
Now last week after attending one of my sons tournaments (where he got first place) both girls have decided they also want to be in karate. When they first asked me about it I said no because well, they have braces. Now I get that it’s not REALLY fair and they didn’t really choose to get braces but it is what it is and I Can’t afford another $340 monthly bill.
My husband thinks that the best option would be to take my son out of karate like if they all can’t do it nobody should. But I refuse to do that to him.
I’d also like to note that the oldest is involved in every school sport their is and while it’s not nearly as expensive it can still be costly. And the younger one is in orchestra and drama. They both very much enjoy their extra curricular activities and I support them in every way. I never miss a game, play etc.
Anyways I feel like I may be rambling here but I really am conflicted on what’s right. Especially after reading a certain post on here where she was clearly TA .
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 63,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 67,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
dI8iQ0dMaRdOZGUNEtXkwbtnUcZd6veq
|
agv9qh
|
{
"description": "staying with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for staying with my GF
|
I met my now GF through a mutual friend on this friends birthday. She wanted me to get to know her because she thought we would be a good match despite only knowing me for a short period of time. This girl and I were both pretty drunk when she introduced us. We had a long conversation and got along well, but I had the feeling that she wasn't what I was looking for in a partner. The evening got longer and after a while, we sat down next to each other and talked some more. Eventually, I kissed her even though I knew I had no intention of ever being together with her. Still, we started dating after a while and we are now together for 1.5 years despite that. The reasons which made me think we're not "meant" for each other are still ever present but she has some other qualities that made me overlook them. Part of them is she is really sweet and overall just a loving and caring person and we also totally match sexually and have amazing sex. Still, There a just a couple of things about her that are a dealbreaker for me in the long run. Anyway, now that this relationship is getting more long term I wonder if I should break up, because deep down I know I wouldn't want to marry her or start a "future" with her. I talked to her about it and she says she doesn't care because I am the best thing that ever happened to her and that she doesn't care as long as we are together. Also, we both love each other, but I still think that that is not enough for a long term relationship.
To further complicate things I'm moving away for college in 2 months to a city that's about a 3h drive away. I don't want to stay there longer than necessary and move back home eventually, but I think that it will be probably 1.5 to 3.5 years before I can move back to my home town. She offered to move with me but I refused because I'm unsure about the relationship in general and I wouldn't want her to make a commitment like that while I'm unsure about our relationship. At the moment we are planning to have a long distance relationship.
So now my questions are:
AITA for dating her in the 1st place?
AITA for staying in this relationship even though I'd want something else long term and I am also preventing her from meeting someone who wants what she wants?
AITA for agreeing to a long distance relationship?
​
I am very curious to hear what you guys think and thank you in advance for your answers. English is not my 1st language so I'm sorry if my spelling or grammar is bad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
td9oQnHQ6PEvaRVaMjcl0BJPw6hM34dI
|
am0rxe
|
{
"description": "being upset that my girlfriend is texting exes daily or trying to make plans to meet up with them",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset that my girlfriend is texting exes daily or trying to make plans to meet up with them?
|
Ok a little backstory. So I met this girl on tinder in October, things didn't work and she started dating someone new. Nothing horrible. She texted me around New Years and we started dating.
Now shortly into the relationship she mentioned that when she thinks the relationship is going to end poorly, she'll look at other options. She asssures me she wouldn't do that to me, but I take that with a grain of salt as I do most things.
Well at one point we got into a fight about her exes and dudes that very clearly had a crush on her asking for nudes and her refusing to tell them that she was taken, just simply said no. Shortly after, I saw that she texted her ex, and asked when they were going to meet up. This of course caused another fight about how I shouldn't worry and all this. But then I might've gone a bit far and mentioned that I didn't like any of the dudes blatantly hitting on her and her refusing to acknowledge our relationship outsde of us two and family.
And before I make it sound like I'm an angel, I'll admit I had the same type of things happening where girls I had hooked up with were still my friends. But when she expressed that she didn't like that, I cut contact with them. But she refuses to do anything like that and defends the guys at the same time.
So reddit, Am I the Asshole for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
T8MmUIN7U3YJ1He8gewGXLnrmuZToPjj
|
a6qs7y
|
{
"description": "inviting model girl friends over for a 4 way like my boyfriend asked, making a rule that there would be no fucking without me in the room, and getting upset that he not only disappeared with one of the women for hours, but got mad at me for trying to come in and join a couple of times",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for inviting model girl friends over for a 4 way like my boyfriend asked, making a rule that there would be no fucking without me in the room, and getting upset that he not only disappeared with one of the women for hours, but got mad at me for trying to come in and join a couple of times?
|
AITA? Hi, as the title implies, I set up a really fun sounding four way for my boyfriend (54m) and I (34f). We have been together for two years. He is wealthy and I like to treat him like a king because he takes care of me in other ways. He mentioned a few weeks ago that he’d like another woman to join us. He expressed multiple times since then that the best part for him would be them being into me and me enjoying their going down on me. Them making me cum was the biggest turn on.
It took a ton of coordinating, but I got a friend (27f) and another woman I met at hot yoga (21f) to agreeing to come for a night of drinks and rendezvous with me and the man. It seemed perfect and we were all really excited.
Now, some backstory is that it seems especially lately, that my SO seems to criticize me over everything. He seems to create impossible situations in which no matter what I choose, it seems to be the wrong answer. I have spent a good portion of our relationship eggshell walking. He is very difficult to please.
Fast forward to today, and we got some dinner before meeting the women. I tried to touch base with him, after noticing that he totally cleaned the apartment, went overboard with his getting primped, shaved, and grooming preparations, and cleaning the apartment and decorating, about how I felt it was important that we try to keep our focus on each other, and be the primary team. That nobody is more important to impress than each other, and these two women should really feel like we are truly in love, and we are with them in an exercise in sharing our love. He reacted to this surprisingly negatively and irritatedly, short fused-ly snapping about how we’re gonna do this or we aren’t, and if I’m getting cold feet just say so, in a very annoyed way. I tried to explain what I meant and that instead I was just trying to connect with him about this experience before we went into it, and he persisted that I “always have to ruin everything”.
One of my rules I made clear to the women and he before tonight, was that I wouldn’t be comfortable with anyone having sex alone without me. That all seemed reasonable to everyone, and he said said more or less psht, of course. That would never come up.
Drinks went well and we all really connected. He still had a standoffish vibe, but I tried to make the best of it. We went home and when things got busy, everyone seemed to have fun but I noticed he was having difficulty getting hard. I spent some time going down and jerking with lube, and he got hard enough to fuck two of the three of us while we did various other pleasing each other activities. I was very invested in making sure he was attended to at every moment. I definitely made sure to show how turned on I was when the girls were going down on me, like he insisted he wanted to see. I thought it was all fun but did notice a persistent issue with his not being able to stay very hard. I imagined a possible nervous issue, and maybe a little extra drinking we all partook in. So I suggested we take a break for a sec, and the other girls left the room. When he and I were alone, I said, “it is me”? Because my touching his arm made him wince away. He said he didn’t know and maybe it was me. This hurt me s lot. He didn’t elaborate further. Of note the sexual four way experience lasted all of maybe 5-10 min.
I then noticed back in the living room him paying particular attention to the 21F. She was quite beautiful, and I guess was drunk and acting most hanging on him. They disappeared for a few inside and I realized upon checking inside they were making out and touching each other. I went and told them well, if he doesn’t want me involved but wants her, how can I force that rule and make him want me. I told them both they should be intimate together if that would be a better experience than being with me or us all. and they did. For a couple hours. The other friend and I went to the rooftop for a bit to give them privacy because even though this hurt me, I did want him to be satisfied, even though it hurt me deeply that he didn’t want me there, despite everyone knowing my “boundary”. Granted I know I gave them permission but it still hurt to know he preferred her to me. She asked us to come back in no more than 10 min. We came back in about 25 min later to get the other friends belongings who was going to leave, and these othe two were still going at it. Oral, full sex, everything. I walked the friend downstairs and got her a cab and gave them even some more time, again as hurt as I was.
I came back up eventually and the girl was crying that she couldn’t make him cum. I reassured her it wasn’t her, but she told me later he said he couldn’t cum bc of me.
When everyone left, he got irate at me. Saying I ignored him in the 4 way, humiliated him bc he couldn’t stay hard (that’s my fault despite my efforts!), kept the girls to myself (not true/ I made certain he fucked US ALL and that he was taken care of at every moment by someone in some way), but WORSE yet was he was mad that I interrupted him with the woman he was alone with for hours a couple of times. HE MAD MAD HIS GIRLFRIEND INTERRUPTED HIM WOTH ANOTHER WOMAN! I honestly hoped one or two times that my coming in would get me invited to join, but it didn’t. I just got a look of disgust. The other time was us just coming in to get the friends things and leave again.
Am I the asshole? For interrupting his private time w this woman which wasn’t even supposed to happen privately? For feeling like he preferred some woman over me? For wishing I’d be invited into a sexual encounter I arranged for us, and wasn’t? He is livid at me and called me a lesbian whore who he doesn’t want next to him in bed, and doesn’t even want my whore lesbian self on his couch. I think left him this morning soon as I was awake and sober.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mWd1YJaXR3xXStU7o8pgN9vj77atFK8X
|
9xwgfj
|
{
"description": "living my life at normal human hours",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if i live my life at normal human hours
|
So throughout the school year, my roommate and I have discovered me have different sleeping patterns. I sleep like a human, she sleeps like a vampire. She's coming in at 5 am which makes NO SENSE bc she's got class from 9-3 every other day, meaning she'll only get sto sleep like 4 hours before her day starts. But whatever, I can't tell her what to do (and I've tried. She's always asking me to help her do stuff like laundry and hw and cleaning and getting her life together and to hold her accountable but when I try she ignores me and tells me I can't control her. So I've stopped helping her and she understands why)
Anyways, she keeps coming to the dorm around 4, then eating w me at 5, then she'll in and do NOTHING or nap til 9. Then she'll leave and do some shit w her friends til 1. Then she'll come back. And most nights that's where she stays in, but sometimes, she'll go out to eat dinner, then she'll come back around 4 or 5 (which... I mean why wouldn't you just stay out). When she's finally in, she'll do her homework or browse some social media shit and I know she's trying to be quiet but just get opening the loud ass done wakes me up. Then she turns on her v dim fairy lights. And the clacking on the computer??? But if she's feeling productive she'll do her laundry or clean or shower. And I know she's trying to be quiet but it's fucking buttfuck in the morning, everything you do is loud. (For example it's 7:35 am right now and she's watching some movie like.... WHAT ARE HEADPHONES?? on another tangent, at the beginning if the semester, I bought this bitch headphones so she could fucking use them and she never did)
Reguardless of anyone's complete inconsideration of me, I try to be quiet during the day time hours, when she's sleeping but lately I just don't feel like I should have to be. It's NORMAL FUCKING DAY TIME HOURS BITCH. It's 11 am. It's 2pm. It's fucking 4 pm. WAKE UP. I used headphones, I walked lightly, I attempt to open and close any doors could as quietly as possible, I didn't turn on the lights. But lately I've just been doing whatever. I bought an electric toothbrush and user it every morning when I wake up. I play Reddit videos out loud when my headphones are too far to reach. I turn the light on when it's dark.
The reason this all came about is bc she keeps getting phone calls at 3 am and answering them in the room. I already asked her to take them outside but this morning I was awaken by the door. Then her phone. Then her voice. I just don't give a fuck anymore. Am I an asshole for loving my litteral life if I just stop complain that she's living hers?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AgGP0hzt6YH5mH3RAvAVYOWBQLOILcMS
|
anjhbv
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get my hair and nails done for my mom's wedding at a salon and just do it myself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to get my hair and nails done for my mom's wedding at a salon and just do it myself?
|
So my mom is getting married on V day next week.. she asked me what I was going to do to my hair. I told her I wanted to do it myself and had a certain style in mind. She insisted that I go to the Dominicans and have them wash, blow dry, and straighten it. I wasnt really wanting to do that because my hair is slightly damaged from the micro braids I had in a couple months ago. And I was just trying to stay away from heat for a while. She said she just wants it to "look nice" as if I dont know how to do my own hair I guess lol idk. She said it's just for that day and I can wash it and do whatever to it after the wedding and she would pay for it (I'm not working right now so money is tight on my end) but I'm just like I really dont want her to spend her money on something that's only going to be for one day, especially when she has better things to worry about.. then my grandma asks me what i'm doing about my nails. I told her I brought my own nail polish and will do it myself. She then says the same thing my mom said about looking nice and she would pay for them.. I'm just like 😪🙄 I'm a 21 year old woman, I know how to do things myself without spending money on it if i have the necessary tools to do so which I do.
My question is, am I the asshole for feeling this way? I know it's for my mom's wedding but I'm really just not the type of person to go to the salon if I really dont need to. Idk.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
b8ou3JXxKL1SmVVrko5RFTvaPAfZol6v
|
b9tcjx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to a little kids party for one of my moms friends just because my mom didn't want to \"go alone\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to a little kids party for one of my moms friends just because my mom didn’t want to “go alone”?
|
I hope the title isn’t too confusing to read, but just in case it is, let me make it make sense lol. Basically one of my moms friends came into town from SD, we’ll call the friend, R. R’s daughter was having a birthday party at some kiddy place and I guess my mom, brother, and I were invited lol. Now here’s the thing, I’m 24 and the last thing I want to do is hang out with a bunch of loud, annoying kids at some cruddy smelly kiddy place after working 8 hours at a job where I encounter more than enough kids.
Anyway, my mom doesn’t even really ask me, it was implied that I didn’t really have a choice lol. So I told her I work 8-5 the next day, and when the party would be, she said 5, so ok I left it at that. Fast forward, she comes home in a huff and says, “don’t worry you don’t have to go to the party anymore” before she storms out of the house and slams the door. ...ok? You’d think that’d be over right? You’d be wrong! I get a long-winded text the next day at work basically saying that I should be putting family above all else, I seemed to have lost my “sensitivity” chip along the way, and that i should have said yes because I shouldn’t let her go alone.
....to an 8 year old girls birthday party.
Mind you, this is all over a LITTLE GIRLS BIRTHDAY PARTY from some mutual friend of hers, that I personally haven’t seen or talked to in 7 years. So why in God’s name would I want to go to this thing? And my moms reasoning is that she doesn’t want to go “alone”. Because being seen alone at a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese is so terrible. Here’s an idea, don’t go??? I could understand if it was like a super important dinner with like a client or something, but... come on man.
AITA here? Feel free to call me out if I am, but I mean, I think I should have a choice if I want to go, (which I don’t lol), but my god man, now I feel like an asshole because of that sole reason! God, don’t you just love it when parents play the guilt card?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6Ye1BWO9c6ocihAWgrEv18Y2HJeTKMZF
|
aptvl6
|
{
"description": "not walking into the launch room just because it was 3 minutes till class started",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not walking into the launch room just because it was 3 minutes till class started
|
I was at school this morning and when we get there, either bus or car, we have to wait till 7:30 before class starts, students stand outside the launch room every day, I was standing outside the launch room like the other students were and she was telling everyone to go sit in the launch room. I told her it was 3 minutes till class started and she said it doesn’t matter, I think she was a substitute teacher idk, when it was 7:30 she wanted me to give her my name so I gave her my name, and grade, I got called to the office a little while 1st period started, turns out the teacher got me in trouble just because I didn’t go into the launch room and got break detention, so AITA for not going into the launch room when she told me to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
qRA5YUeFkepFP1A0BZYdjjU3JjyBVPat
|
agi0zg
|
{
"description": "telling my whole school that a certain club is untrustworthy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my whole school that a certain club is untrustworthy?
|
I'm a new content editor at one of my university's publications, let's call it *The Owl*. It's not widely read, but every once in a while an article blows up and the whole school will see it. Before I was really involved in that I was a member of my school's Student Union.
The Union is a very new club, I was one of three members. Its main cause last year was ensuring that every student worker was paid minimum wage and had a valid employment contract. They have lots of other causes too, and I got involved because I thought they were fighting for justice in a way (corny I know).
I resigned last year because the other two members decided to reveal confidential information sent by another student regarding the wage issue. They refused to ask her about it before revealing it because they were worried she might say no. This information was sensitive because the anonymous student accused her boss, employed by the school, of some pretty shady stuff. They argued that it was really important to the cause because it would be embarrassing for the school to have it revealed, so the ends justified the means. They also didn't like this girl personally.
Now my new editing job at *The Owl* comes in. I plan to assign an article to one of my writers about the Union. I also plan to tell the writer that the Union can't be trusted with confidential information. I also plan to get in touch with the girl whose info was leaked and tell her exactly what happened. I'm going to invite her to be interviewed by the writer. My goal is to let the whole school know that the Union can't be trusted because they encourage people to tell them confidential information, but don't hold themselves to ethical standards.
AITA for blowing up their spot, essentially? They do a lot of good work, they did get minimum wage for every student. And they plan to do a lot of other things I support. If I publish this, they might lose all credibility as a club. People already kind of hate them for "threatening" the stability of the work-study program (there was some talk that it would be shut down instead of raising the wage). Also, it's not really any of my business, and if I just let it go, no one would ever know. But I am a journalist now, and it's important to hold people accountable.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
blnBrzNZxJ8pLGlZaObUdkjBn9BHxofZ
|
awtff0
|
{
"description": "not helping my sister with housework",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not helping my sister with housework?
|
Okay, so I live with my mum and two younger sisters and this weekend, Mum took a girly weekend holiday to Dublin. The house was kind of a mess when she left, so she told us to split to chores between us.
My middle sister was working both afternoons and evenings, leaving my youngest sister and I to pull part of her weight, so we decided to split it half way between us.
She did her half first and then cane to tell me what was left to do. I got around to it and completed it in my own time Friday evening and then I went back to my room to chill.
On Saturday, I began work at 7pm and I came home at 4am this morning. (I’m a bar tender, nights like that are normal)
She leaves it to 6pm Saturday evening to tell me I did a shit job and that I should start over. I told her that even if I wanted to do that, I have no time as I had to get ready and leave for work in the space if 40 min and she was PISSED. She was swearing, slamming doors, just throwing a huge childish tantrum (she’s 14).
So I go to work, I come home exhausted and she wakes me up 6 hours later to tell me that Grandad has come to visit. I look like I just been stood behind a plane taking off, I can barely understand what he was saying because I was just that tired.
After he leaves, my sister is like “So are you going to help me now?” I told her not right now, I’m exhausted, I got home at 4am this morning, I’ve slept 6 hours after a painfully long and exhausting bar shift, the last thing I want to do is pack the dishwasher. So she throws another tantrum, complaining about how lazy I was yesterday, that she has to do everything in the house and just all round that life is unfair.
AITA and how can I convince her otherwise if I’m not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
tDVA7Lft2Psz1Lp4Ftuy7Ja1CuiPf0MM
|
axg6z1
|
{
"description": "not calling my mom repeatedly after I called her once and she didn't answer",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not calling my mom repeatedly after I called her once and she didn't answer?
|
Ok, so I normally call my mom whenever I get home from school right when I walk through the door. Sometimes she doesn't answer and she'll call back and say she was busy or something like that. It normally only takes her 30 minutes or so to call back and today I knew she was at work so I figured she was extra busy.
Well not too long ago she calls me and says, "I guess you aren't calling me today huh?" And I told her that I called her. And she started going on a full on rant about how I should of kept calling her until I reached her, that i'm taking life for granted, etc. I tell her that we've only not spoken for a few hours and I figured she was working so I didn't see anything wrong with what I had done, I was expecting her to call me back instead. And she said, "You and your dad knew I was driving and something could of happened to me! It's like you guys don't care! You're basically saying i'm not a big deal to you?!" And I start to get angry because she's twisting my words. And she finally brings out my gf as ammunition. She says "Would you call \[insert Gf's name\] Multiple times!?!" And I tell her that we don't even call that much and if she didn't answer i'll let her call me back as I know she's safe at home. But at this point i'm super angry and she just keeps going on. I get that anything can happen at any moment but really man? And then she sounds like shes crying over the phone and says, "Nevermind." and hangs up on me.
​
AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
F9tr2G7KiUvvgEjW8zCOJALtpxzk7DLK
|
b6747i
|
{
"description": "not wanting to learn to drive after my parents paid for lessons",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for not wanting to learn to drive after my parents paid for lessons?
|
I recently started learning to drive. Lessons are paid for by my parents and they encouraged me to start in the first place. They paid for the first 5 lessons at once to get a discount and I just finished the 4th. I thought I wanted to learn to drive but after these lessons I realise I am not good at it. I keep making mistakes while driving and sometimes get panicked. I feel guilty and selfish about this since I am holding other cars up just because I am not good enough at driving. My parents say they are happy to pay for lessons until I pass my test but I am nowhere near good enough and feel bad taking their money to do something which clearly isnt working, although they have already paid £120 for the 5 lessons so seems bad to waste that.
AITA for wanting to stop learning to drive even though my parents have already paid £120 for lessons?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
AgNMa2yHPziUX6n7aZjlv76f10YdoTAQ
|
asujnf
|
{
"description": "not letting my roommate get a dog",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my roommate get a dog?
|
Let me start this by saying that I love dogs, and I’ve always wanted my own for a long time. My roommate and I started living together in August, and things started out great. We have known each other since we were kids, and always got along very well. But these past few months she has stopped cleaning up after herself, and at one point her cats litter box hadn’t been cleaned in about 2 months. After asking her for a week straight to do it, I finally got sick and tired of gagging every time I walked into the bathroom so I had to do it myself, literally scraping cat poop out of the pan. I also always have to feed her cat, because my roommate sleeps 11-12 hours a day and only gets up at 15 minutes before she has to leave for work. She already has a ball python which I reluctantly agreed to, and once when I was gone for 10 days she trashed the place, leaving me to clean it all up. One of her friends dogs is having puppies soon, and when she asked if we could get one I finally put my foot down and said no. The apartment is only so big, and there is no back yard for the dog to run around in, since it’ll be a Husky-Lab mix it’ll need a lot of room to run. My roommate got really angry and has been very defensive, even saying “I’m just like her mom when I argue” and that she “deserves this dog” and when I say she can get her own dog when she lives in her own place she said that “she wouldn’t spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars by herself on a dog.” So what do you guys think? Am I being an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nyWlqK4ojm418j4GygHwRfa3ThkmVCBN
|
b7u38m
|
{
"description": "arguing with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for arguing with my mom
|
My mom told me i would be babysitting sunday and i asked her if im getting payed this time. Last time i babysat these kids i was payed with a box of pizza and a bag of chips. I didnt say anything because i thought it would be a one time thing but my mom wanted me to do it again for free. It is the weekend and the last day of spring break so i said thats basically child labor. She got pissed and said that im ungrateful of how much she does for me and that i should be fine spending my weekend helping her out she also threatened to drive me to the police station and have me ask them if i am correct but thats way extra and i just said fine you win. To make things even more annoying i asked her if i would be good to go by 2 and she said yes. It is currently 4 and she is still not back.
Summary:
Am i the asshole for not wanting to babysit my moms friends for free
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
LOg4UuQcD0CDZM5jeOQ6sK22j2WFSfAa
|
b7i685
|
{
"description": "teaching my 7 year old daughter how to play blackjack",
"pronormative_score": 112,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for teaching my 7 year old daughter how to play blackjack?
|
My daughter got a deck of cards as a party favor and asked me to teach her some card games that I know, so I showed her how to play black jack. We weren’t gambling, but used money to help reinforce how the game is played.
My wife walks in on us playing and flips out. Her reaction was as if I had taught her how to roll a joint and proceeds to berate me for the next ten minutes.
I can understand thinking it’s a bit advanced, but don’t think the reaction was warranted.
Can I get a ruling?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 110,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 112,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
IqntD9ka5svO70fwcrsA8EyPxc8cdmmB
|
avm71x
|
{
"description": "deciding last-minute that I'd rather attend a new friend's bachelorette party instead of my cousin's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for deciding last-minute that I’d rather attend a new friend’s bachelorette party instead of my cousin’s wedding?
|
So I left my mom and dad’s house last night in a big old pissy huff because of an argument that we had on this subject and I’m still angry mainly because I can’t figure out how I feel about this.
I’ve known about my cousin’s wedding for about six months now and my mom and dad went and got my immediate family plane tickets and a place to stay in the town where it’s taking place. I also have been helping to plan and generally get hyped about one of my coworkers’ bachelorette party. We met pretty recently but were really hitting it off as friends and I feel like it has the potential to be a very good friendship. Plus it’s the first bachelorette party I’ve ever ever been invited to and I’m actually super stoked.
HOWEVER I literally just realized it’s the same weekend as said wedding because I am kind of a poor plan-aheader. I went ahead and told my parents that I may pull out of the wedding festivities and instead send them a nice gift and a message. This is not a cousin who I have spoken with in maybe 5 years save the occasional back and forth on Instagram chat. Of course my mom and sister immediately leapt at my throat, all, “Gee maybe you should uphold the first commitment you made?” I come from a rather passive-aggressive family.
My dad meanwhile is over here like, If you can manage to get your flight refunded or switched to another trip and then pay me for it I’m cool with it. *But make sure this is really what you want to do.* (ominous dad voice)
IDK, am I the asshole here? I’m 25, don’t feel like I need to be going along with all the things my folks decide I need to do anymore, and sometimes things come up and you just can’t make it. Life is short. Also I have like no female friends and I’m so terrible at making friends. I’m thinking this party, all booze and poor decisions aside, could be exactly what I need in order to stay sane/ not feel so fucking lonely and hopeless. Help?
**TL;DR:** Just realized my cousin’s wedding falls on the same weekend as a bachelorette party I was just invited to — AITA for wanting to bail on the wedding?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
7UyqcehvhiqeEf7BITXvQ9kOTaYvn3g6
|
aom3z7
|
{
"description": "asking my new roomates for money to fix plumbing that didnt have issues until after they arrived? AITA for asking a wife and husband to split the rent equally 33/33/33 not 50/50",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for asking my new roomates for money to fix plumbing that didnt have issues until after they arrived? AITA for asking a wife and husband to split the rent equally 33/33/33 not 50/50?
|
I recently bought my new co worker from out of state lunch, and offered him to stay in an extra room at my place for $500 a month to avoid hotel costs. He declined because he wanted to find a place his wife could move into with him as well. However, since money was tight while starting a new job, he asked if he could stay with me for just a week until he got paid.
I agreed to let him stay that week free of charge. A week passed by, he comes back with his wife and realizes how expensive it will be to acquire their own place and asks to stay with me. Even though I offered the $500 rate to only him he assumed it would also cover his wife as well. Since its only one room I figured it would be cool.
However, a week goes by with those two here and my propane usage rate has been through the roof and my plumbing has been backed up in both bathrooms, Im assuming from feminine products since Ive lived here for 4 months without a single plumbing problem by myself. Ive had to pay $475 for the propane refill(which is mostly due my usage alone) and now $139-$200 for a plumbing repair. They fill the kitchen trash without taking it to the dumpster, they order take out without offering to reciprocate the meal I bought him when offering a room initially and she just isnt friendly at all in general (comes out only when ive went back in my room, rarley speaks, avoids contact, etc).
The toilet started backing up in their bathroom initially, they used a plunger and draino which provided temporary relief and allowed it to drain slowly but today my bath tub was full of sewage forcing me to call a plumber.
Am i an asshole for requesting them pay for the plumber?
Am i an asshole for asking them to to split the rent equally between all 3 adults instead of those two pay 50 percent and I alone pay 50 percent?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
2GDNJSngXNUCVyfGhaePM87VKKa9HVa7
|
b8a19f
|
{
"description": "returning dog to shelter",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
WIBTA for returning dog to shelter
|
I have been looking for a dog for about a month. This past weekend I saw a dog that was very friendly and cat safe. He seemed perfect. I was looking to foster a dog from the animal shelter, but they happened to have a sale for $15 dogs for that day only. In the rush of the moment I adopted a dog.
I could see that he was a big dog, but he is morbidly obese so I thought it was mostly fat. When I was filling out the paperwork adopting him the animal shelter volunteer read his medical records and said he is 87 lbs currently but will be 60 lbs at a healthy weight.
I felt like I had made a mistake almost immediately after leaving the shelter. I felt ready for the commitment of a dog, but after getting a dog I’m not so sure. I would like to move to a larger city and I am not sure that an 87 lbs (60 lbs assuming he loses his excess weight) dog will be feasible for apartment shopping in a new city. There is a 30 day return policy at the shelter and I’m torn with what to do now.
WIBTA if I returned the dog to the shelter?
TLDR; Really thought I was ready for a dog -adopted dog from shelter, but now I’m not sure that I am as ready for the life-long responsibility as I thought that I was. WIBTA if I gave the dog back to the shelter?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
iY5J729LfKhSk5CdQOyzZPN6yfeceK2s
|
ab4b0r
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend it's stupid he has to get his parents permission for everything",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA: for telling my boyfriend it’s stupid he has to get his parents permission for everything
|
I have been planning to get an apartment this summer after my semester at college is done, I don’t really have a choice because both of my parents have decided to move out of state so I don’t have a home to stay at. I asked my boyfriend of almost 4 years if he was interested in being roommates with me and he said he would think about it. That was about 3 months ago and he still hasn’t given me an answer. I know I still have time, but I would prefer to know if I should be looking for other roommates. Today I brought this up to my boyfriend saying that he should just make a choice and tell me and it turns out that he has to ask his parents and see what they want him to do. For some reason he keeps putting it off and this sparked a fight between us, I got annoyed and told him just to bring it up with his parents because then I would have an answer, then I got annoyed that he even had to ask his parents because he’s 21 and should be able to make choices for himself. After telling him that I think it’s stupid that he can’t make decisions for himself and that he always has to have his parents permission he got upset with me and left. I feel like I was being honest with him, but I trust the people of reddit to tell me if I was justified to think that or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kSy9d1a88pGp1XPTjfgGjf4TEN7H2pQ0
|
akd5ah
|
{
"description": "trying to help a girl who was obviously very uncomfortable in her current situation",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For trying to help a girl who was obviously very uncomfortable in her current situation?
|
So I am in my university's dinning hall and my friends and I (all female) are eating lunch and this girl sits down up the table from us. All is well until this guy comes up and starts talking her head off but she's just nodding and looks very uncomfortable.
Now let me tell you about this guy. He is known to do this kind of thing all the time in the dining hall. He never talks to you about normal things; his usual topics are hentai, boats, Japanese history, and other unusual things. (Not trying to shame anyone for their hobbies but you don't typically come up to a stranger and start talking about these things) He is also known to come into the dinning hall, pull out his huge ass drawing tablet and draw his own hentai/bronie shit for everyone to see.
Once I see that this is going to go on until the girl finishes her lunch and leaves, I decide to ask my friends if I should invite her to sit with us. I ask and they say I should. So I look up the table and ask her if I have class with her (trying not to be too obvious and rude to the guy). She says that she's not sure but we might and then I ask her if she wants to come sit with us. She gives me the rudest look and says, "No, I'm good." Then she turns back to the guy and is trying to be engaged in what he's talking about. This continued for probably 15 more minutes until the guy leaves. Once he leaves, she gets up, walks towards us, then looks at me and says, "Sometimes people just need someone to talk to, you didn't have to be so rude" and then walked away. I had nothing but good intentions and was just trying to help this girl enjoy her lunch so it kinda hurt when she said that. The more I think about it, the more I think I'm an asshole but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
8BVtIeqboX2iEkNCuEI0hsLdyFqO1b4U
|
asixqj
|
{
"description": "saying \"that's fine, that's your belief\" to my antivaxx parents trying to convince me that vaccines are bad? apparently I was condescending",
"pronormative_score": 74,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for saying "That's fine, that's your belief" to my antivaxx parents trying to convince me that vaccines are bad? Apparently I was condescending?
|
The short story is, I'm 17, unvaccinated and made the mistake of bringing up wanting to be vaccinated to my parents (who usually support pretty much every free thinking descision I make) which was met with much hostility. After things had cooled down, my mum tried to prove to me that nobody dies of measles without something else helping it along with actual government statistics (they didn't add up) and I said to her "I'm not trying to argue with you but I just disagree." She mentioned that the proof speaks for itself, and I replied "That's fine, that's your belief, I'm not trying to attack that." Apparently I was "patronising" and "refused to be reasonable"
The reason I'm even asking is because I don't argue often, and genuinely don't know if I'm being unintentionally condescending. Any advice would be much appreciated.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 73,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 74,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
dOsAptaJCV3dyWE9ns3BPK3aIu5jCMfE
|
9uxpua
|
{
"description": "not wanting my wife to be artificially inseminated",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting my wife to be artificially inseminated?
|
I can’t have kids.
I’d always looked forward to having kids of my own, and it devastated me to find out that I can’t. I honestly felt like the biggest failure in the world, and I felt awful because my wife also has always wanted kids. I’ve thrown up the idea of adopting, which she likes, but she also wants to experience pregnancy and childbirth. I personally am offput by the idea of a child developing inside my wife that isn’t mine. I don’t know why I’d have no problem adopting, but for some reason I don’t want my wife to be pregnant if it’s not my doing. I want her to be happy, but I’m not sure if I could go through this
Am I an asshole for thinking like this? This questions tears my mind.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
7CMnQ3G55xEE6fXJJMZfXlCHSU8HkNWy
|
abpx2w
|
{
"description": "letting my mental health issues make me a burden",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for letting my mental health issues make me a burden
|
This Christmas season I(23NB) have been visiting the family home, and so has all my siblings. This year we were a lot of people in a very small space. It has been very stressful for everyone, and I have wanted to help out my fair share around the house and with cooking, but I have not been able to do much at all.
I suffer from avoidant personality disorder, deep depression, suicidal ideation, and some complex ptsd that is connected to my mom who was present.
In the little time I've been here I have had several bouts of depressive and suicidal moods, and had non-stop anxiety, resulting in many anxiety- and panic attacks, which I did my best to shield my family from, as to not make them worry about me.
I did try to make it known to my family that I wasn't doing very well mentally, and couldn't contribute as much as I wanted to, which they seemed to accept.
I felt like a terrible burden all the way through Christmas and new years. Everyone else went all out with amazing cooking and baking and kept the house nice, while I was stuck to my bed or the couch most of the time, debilitatingly miserable for no good reason, doing nothing of value.
I tried to let everybody know, verbally, how much I appreciated them and their effort, because I really do, and I didn't want them to think I took it for granted.
I tried to not let my feelings and thoughts of uselessness and helplessness get to me though, as I learned in therapy that that kind of thinking rarely helps.
But today I was let known that everyone in family felt strongly that I wasn't pulling my weight. My siblings had put in all this effort to make an amazing Christmas, but felt exhausted and unappreciated, and I didn't even offer to help. They had been afraid to call me out on my inactivity or to ask anything of me, as they know that any sort of responsibility can make me feel extremely anxious and upset, because of my many deepseated insecurities.
Today, my mother finally confronted me about it. She insisted I should have been able to do more, but I honestly don't think I was able to. It turned into a nasty fight with no resolution.
I want to let them all know how incredibly shitty I feel about this. I feel like a monster. I wanna die. I wanna run away. I don't want to come back next year to be a burden again. I feel so guilty, even though I know I can't do much better yet.
But I am afraid that telling them this could end up being manipulative of me, hurt their feelings and force them to not confront me about my flaws in the future either.
I am also afraid of making any promises I cannot keep about helping out a lot more.
I've considered leaving for my own home early, or going to a hotel, but I can't afford it.
I feel so terrible and I need to know if I really am. Sorry that I write bad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
hUKZXLJafAGh9Rv5L44FYF9WcuJET196
|
b31k15
|
{
"description": "\"stealing\" the girl my friend likes",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for "stealing" the girl my friend likes?
|
OK, so this is a complicated story, but i'll try to keep it short. So, my friend has this girl he likes who I'll call G (Girl) to keep her identity safe, but my friend liked her, and they went to a Tim Horton's, and the girl, who is my ex-neighbor, invited me to tag along as she thought my friend liked her. So we went and he quickly changed the discussion to dating, I was completely oblivious and answered any questions, comes to the end and I leave, (I had a hockey practice.), I had no clue what happened between them two, but she had a almost definite feeling he liked her. Cut to the next morning us three went to a local pancake shop where we bought a tower plate. (A plate with 25 pancakes), we are all enjoying ourselves, when my friend has to go for two minutes.
He gets back and we talk for a while about random things, the Habs game, etc. When he tries to bring up dating and romance as a topic for the third time in two days. She gets a little annoyed, seeming he won't get the hint that she doesn't like him. She then exclaimed that she liked me, I thought this was to prove to my friend she doesn't like him, he seems awkward (like anyone would in his position) hurries up his eating and walks out. She then tells me she actually does like me as of what I said the past 3ish days. It's been a week, and he's been calling me an ass, hoping we break up, and wanting "payback". AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ooc1OaVPXPc2DIb8ypfaIqSz2hfA6rGl
|
b5wr6y
|
{
"description": "snapping at my teacher",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for snapping at my teacher?
|
(Obligatory apology for posting on mobile)
Ok, for context, this is not just a normal teacher. I go to a highschool where you have a "major" and you take some classes pertaining to that major . All of these classes are taught by the major teacher. So I've had this teacher for 2 classes last semester and 2 this semester. All that to say that I see this teacher a lot. This teacher is supposed to be your mentor.
Recently, we had a certain state competition for an event in which she was the teacher organizer. The competition went fine, or so I thought. When I came in to class today, I realized that I have my scoresheets from the judges. So I asked her to see them and she refused.
When I asked why I couldn't see them, she said that she needed to go over them with me. This teacher then proceedes to pull me in her office (in the middle of class) and "go over them with me". That consisted of her pointing out every point I got off and how bad I must have done to get that score (she was not there to see me perform). I asked her multiple times throughout this "interaction" to have a moment by myself with the scoresheets.
This was my first time seeing the scoresheets. I was extremely upset about how the judges scored me. The hardwork I put in was not enough to do well. And while I was feeling this, she proceeded to nit pick through the comments on the sheet.
She reached a particular comment on one of the sheets that said "[I] seemed angry" and this teacher digs hard into that comment saying things like "what went on in that room? You're representing this school and me, how could you seem angry!?" When in the performance (it was a speech) I thought I was passionate.
I snapped and told her something like, "you don't know what it was like. You (the teacher) didn't give a shit about my speech until the day of the competition" and then stormed out of the office and went to my next block.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
g52a8j1kSA1BKMi28nZTfLCuI1n2L29q
|
agpq11
|
{
"description": "calling my friend out for his poor financial sense",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for calling my friend out for his poor financial sense?
|
A friend of mine is terrible with money. In the worst way. To put it simply, he, while jobless and getting money from his grandmothers inheritance, spent 1,000 dollars on a gorilla because "Harambe". Thats well and good, I could give a shit what he decides to blow money on when it doesn't effect me. We're a tight group of friends, its me, him and another guy. The other guy is having a birthday this weekend. I let everyone know we should go to a bar at happy hour and get some drinks since he's turning 21. Bad money friend says nah he won't be doing that and he'll just get him a gift. I ask why, he's not someone who hates bars or alcohol. He says because he can't afford it. Fair enough, 20 minutes later he starts asking us what the best color is for a Nintendo switch joy cons are and what games he should get for one. I'm confused and ask him if he's buying one, he says he is. I then remind him that he is being laid off from his seasonal job this weekend and spending 360 dollars out of his 400\~ paycheck is, frankly, retarded. He doesn't care. I tell him ask him if he really thinks spending that much money on himself is more important then spending 20-30 bucks on a night out for our friends birthday is the best idea, and also if it isn't bad financial sense. He says he knows its bad financial sense. We call each other a few names and now we're fuming. If he wants to blow all of his money and having nothing with no job, fair enough. But the fact that he's blowing it on a game console when he has both a high end computer and PS4 and Xbox1 and decides thats a better idea then 30 bucks on our friends 21st birthday is fucking unreal to me. Honestly put me in my place if I'm the asshole for telling him off.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
0apd5yAY29Zmxi5fHEWwaIyUeoGf8dGw
|
ag1ndh
|
{
"description": "calling out the ball hog",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling out the ball hog?
|
Went to play volleyball with some college friends. I didn’t know one of them, and the entire game he’s playing as if he’s the only one on the team, even though it’s 6 on 6. He’s chasing the ball no matter where it goes, even if he’s nowhere near it. Rushing in front of everyone to hit the ball first, not watching where he’s going, etc.
Eventually, the lack of fun is visibly obvious from my team. Teammates are just moving out of the way now so he doesn’t run them over. I’m annoyed at the guys lack of consideration and call him out, trying to do it nicely saying, “Stick to your lane, man”.
His friend on the other team heard this, and starts calling me out for being an asshole. I defend my position, but no one else on my team is vouching for me. I’m just saying, it’s not fun for the rest of us when we’re too worried about getting run into cause you’re not sticking to your position, even when other people call the ball, you still try to go for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qACJME64BbZ2mhkcbzLGycrfDD2Acb0e
|
a76wjv
|
{
"description": "replying to a snide remark with one of my own",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for replying to a snide remark with one of my own?
|
I was at the designated smoking area of my employer, enjoying a cigarette. This area is WELL away from the building, off the property entirely.
I have no idea why, but one lady made a point to walk all the way over to me and say “you know smoking is bad for you” with the utmost condescension.
I have no idea why I did this, but without thinking, I replied “so is talking to strangers”.
She threw a look and walked away. I have no idea why I said that, it just sort of came out without me consciously thinking about it.
Some of my friends have said it was rude, but I considered it rude that she came all the way over to me, where I was minding my own business, in the designated smoking area, to inform me something that’s common knowledge, as if I’ve been living under a rock.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SHGjLGNpUvbSbtNEcB0326S0lMwBmsPT
|
a0zpwq
|
{
"description": "being upset that a waitress spilt coffee all over me at a work event, as an intern",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 65
}
|
AITA for being upset that a waitress spilt coffee all over me at a work event, as an intern?
|
tl;dr: Waitress spilt coffee all over me and drenched all of my shirt at a work brunch. I have anger management problems but did my best staying calm - so all I did was vent to my coworkers about it while the waitress was gone. I told a full-timer I expected compensation of some sort for her actions since I shouldn't have to deal with a ruined shirt. The full timer dry cleaned it herself with her money and brought it to me later. My boss said she was embarrassed. This was 2 weeks before my internship at Google ended and I had no time to redeem myself - so I did not get the full time job offer.
This summer I had the pleasure of being an intern with Google for their business side, I did customer experience for Google Ads. On a Saturday we had an optional event where we went to brunch. I was sitting in the middle of the table - it was split with interns on one side, and full timers on the other. I sat next to my boss as well. Everything was going great, we were all talking and what not. Next thing you know, the waitress bumps into me (I am sitting down the whole time, so I wasn’t at fault here at all) and she spills cold coffee all over the back of my white t-shirt. The whole back of it was drenched. She did apologize for the mistake and tried to go get towels.
When she leaves to get towels, my intern group is laughing at me since they thought it was funny. Well for background, I am sensitive and get booty hurt easily. So I was visibly upset. When the waitress left to get towels, they asked why I was upset. I let them know and they asked what I expected her to do since it was an accident. I told them that I expected there to be consequences for her actions because my white Nike t-shirt that costs like $40 will now be stained. I said she should make it up to me somehow by reimbursing for dry cleaning. She came back and gave me the towels and it was not enough - I asked if she had any souvenir shirts that they sell that I can have to wear since drying the shirt wasn’t feasible.
As she did this, one of the full timers pulled me aside and we walked to the side of the restaurant and talked. She said I wasn’t being “googley” enough and that I wasn’t representing Google properly. I told her that I have anger management problems and that I was doing my best at keeping my cool. I told her that by venting to the interns (while she was away) was my outlet to making me feel better. I told her that I wanted my shirt dry cleaned. This full timer said to just keep quiet and she will take care of it. She ended up taking my shirt later that day and brought it to me the next week.
Fast forward and my boss told me at our weekly 1:1 meeting that she was embarrassed about it and that I should apologize to the group and full timers for acting like that. This was 2 weeks before the internship ended, so there was no time to redeem myself. I ended up not getting the job offer. I know this is what mainly caused it because I hit all my performance metrics and was the 2nd best on the team in terms of job performance. But since it's Google, they look mainly for "Googleyness" which means they look for good people and aren't so worried about performance.
So… Am I the asshole for acting like this? I do have anger management problems and honestly this was the best in this scenario. I was so upset, but I never once showed it to the waitress. I was never loud about it, just venting to the team. Was it reasonable to want my shirt dry cleaned? Why should I have to suck it up and lose money? I never paid for the brunch, Google did, so there would be no compensation there either.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 65,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 65
}
|
WRONG
|
aFqL0CicFfXHrUVNXxfoMyHgpGwChDVV
|
b14q68
|
{
"description": "refusing to go to a large event with an old friend I literally just made up with",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to go to a large event with an old friend I literally just made up with?
|
I've had this friend for a while, who we'll call J, but then I did something horrible (but I don't think that's important or relevant and I don't feel comfortable talking about it) but recently she found me and forgave me completely (this was \~1yr later) and we've been talking for a few days and we've been becoming really good friends again.
Recently I've been doing mock exams at school which are like pretend exams to practice being in exam conditions. I take these quite seriously because I focus a lot on my grades and want to do well. I've got my last day of them tomorrow (at time of writing) and J called me, asking if I wanted to go to this environmental protest (she didn't give me much more information other than that it's an environmental protest). I tried to politely say no because I didn't want to skip my exams and idk if I'm the asshole for valuing these fake exams over our newly regained friendship. BTW she got quite annoyed, I think, because I think she was pretending to be fine.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XhaPnlM48Kh4zDMhdrm3stLLLV9TaWhz
|
aot2ez
|
{
"description": "not renting out to a small family",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not renting out to a small family
|
AITA for not renting out my apartment to single moms with a kid because it is too small?
I have recently put up my own 1 bedroom apartment for rent in a bigger European city and have been reading through various application. A few of these answers comes from single mothers that have a young child that wishes to rent my apartment. Personally, I feel like my apartment is way to small to have a family living in it, even if the family only consist of a mother and a child. I have kids myself and I cannot see how they would be able to fit their whole life in my apartment. So I reply to them, that I cannot in my good concious have a small family as tenants since I think the apartment is too small, but I wish them all the best.
These replies have been the reason for my gf arguing that I am an A-hole. She thinks that I should not presume that I know what is a right size apartment for the smaller families. She actually thinks if I don't want to rent out to a small family because there is higher risk of wear and tear and even damage to the apartment, that is my decision. But she really dislikes the way I decline them, she thinks it sounds like I'm deciding for them what size of apartment their child should or should not live in. She says is better to be polite and lie to them about the reason they will not get the apartment.
​
A quick, but important, note, my apartment is only 35 m^(2) and there is one small bedroom with a joint living-/kitchen room in the central part of the city.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qA3NDseDdz3rvlRV6cG00GFMd3ssAQzv
|
9ywibv
|
{
"description": "joking around with my mother, but our maid got offended",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for joking around with my mother, but our maid got offended?
|
Well, she’s not really our maid(let’s call her that for simplicity), but my mom pays her to come help clean around the house and whatnot. Anyway, the other day I was walking downstairs and my mom was talking to me, and was telling me how the maid is her good friend. So I jokingly said to my mom, “she only likes you because you pay her.” Obviously, I insulted my mom, cause we always joke around, nothing against the maid. Anyway today she was cleaning, and my mom brought up how that hurt her the maid’s feelings. I quickly apologized and cleared the air, as I didn’t mean no harm, but I’m just really confused, as I didn’t even joke about her, only my mom. Am I the asshole? I never been this dumbfounded before. My mom certainly didn’t take it the wrong way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mZUICB2L2vcIIRM52i8ar2ag7oIrl1bg
|
anhw1b
|
{
"description": "being mad that my birthday gift was sex",
"pronormative_score": 588,
"contranormative_score": 96
}
|
AITA for being mad that my birthday gift was sex?
|
On my gf's birthday I gave her a necklace that I spent $400 on. I wasn't expecting her to spend the same as me, but I was expecting something.
Here's how it went down. After dinner she asked me if I was ready for my gift, I said yes and she started giving me oral. She doesn't like giving oral and I'm ok with it. She was giving bad oral and honestly I just wanted her to stop, then she gets up and pulls me into my room and we have sex.
I feel disappointed. I don't think sex is a gift. I didn't expect a gift that was equal to what I spent, but I wanted a least something.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 64,
"OTHER": 522,
"EVERYBODY": 32,
"NOBODY": 66,
"INFO": 25
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 588,
"WRONG": 96
}
|
RIGHT
|
2xTZKMCYN3tWwSKXUthDvEBARBhdcyen
|
apfg7x
|
{
"description": "wanting to change my legal name",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for wanting to change my legal name (Long-ish)
|
ok so TLDR: I want to change my name but my parents aren't supportive of the decision since they said they chose it 7 years before I was born. I am trans but I haven't told them cause when i try to they clearly show they are not supportive. Quoting my mum "if I find a binder in your room I will cut it up and burn it." So should i change my name? i am legally allowed to change it next year since I am turning 18.
Ok now for the longer story since we got the most important details up:
I am trans FtM (female-to-male) and found out about it when i was 12-13ish this was when I got a better search on the internet and found alot of people who felt the same as me (eg. body didn't feel right and they felt like they weren't supposed to have a 'chest' or 'lady parts. *sorry it makes me a little uncomfortable to say*)
Anyways like I said in the TLDR my parents are not supportive and especially not my mum. in case you didn't read the TLDR the way i can tell she's not supportive is from a direct quote from her "If I find a binder in your room I'm going to cut it up and burn it," so as you can see pretty clear answer there.
Anyways some back ground but you can skip to the '**' for the more important stuff:
Both of them have said to me that they don't think I'm trans simply because i liked 'girly' things when I was younger. But really what does a 3 or 6 year old know about gender. As far as I was aware when I was younger I played with toys, did my school work and played in the team I was supposed to. I got along with both boys and girls fine and while I played with dolls and occasionally wore dresses, I also played in the rain, loved soccer and swimming, and I loved to be loud and roudy. Both obviously seem very driven towards boy activities and girl activities however to me when I was younger I just did what made me happy. I am a very artsy person so obvious I love colours and I especially love pastel due to the soft, cartoony styles that I think match it so well. I love cats and birds and I love cosplaying. However I also love swimming and working with wood and other carpentry, I don't mind getting dirty and just from task to task keeping myself active. Even now I love both sterotypically male and female things but their are reasons why I am a boy.
1. Female isn't the image I have in my head:
Everyone has an image of what they want to be now and in the future. For me however that future involves a more masculine body. My chest makes me very uncomfortable both physically and mentally and has impacted my self-esteem alot since it's rather hard to hide. I have a very soft jaw-line which is also a problem for me since it makes me appear very feminine and that's what alot of people look at first when assessing gender of a stranger, my face isn't very gender neutral so yeah. And my hips have started to become alot bigger of a problem than the other 2 since I even have problems with how I walk. My hips are naturally wider since I am born female but this also means that I have a natural sway in my walk. This makes me very uncomfortable since it means that I naturally walk like a girl.
2. I hate girls uniforms:
I am 16 so even though i am 1 1/2 years away from me being an adult (B'day in Sept) I still have to go to school like most other children. This means of course that since I have to put my legal gender down on my forms and documents I also have to wear the girls' uniform. This is usually a problem at alot of school but at the one I attend now until I graduate luckily, they have female pants. However this is still a problem. Pants made for females and males are obviously different from leg structure, to hip width, to the style that flatters the widest ranges of women. This usually means accentuating the hips and waist. Both of which are already defined when I wear normal clothes and even more defined when I wear the school uniform. My school is completely supportive of me and has emailed the teachers to ask them to use my preferred name and pro-nouns which I find absolutely amazing since my previous school was a very religious christian school.
**
Anyways so back to the story, I'm not completely heartless and won't force my parents to just immediately start using my preferred name since they are my parents and I understand that my original name was important to them and I have even tried to comprimise with them saying,
"I'm happy to keep the name as a middle name so it's still in official documents and you can still call me *Original Name*"
"I wouldn't mind having 2 first names where the one I prefer can be used by colleagues and friends while you still call me *O/N*"
I have even said they can call me by my O/N for the rest of my life since they are my parents and I understand how important it is to them.
They however have not been as understanding:
I had a chat to my mum about changing my name and she said that she was upset and offended that I wanted to change my name since they chose it 7 years before I was born and I was named after one of my aunts. Now I understand that this is a personal issue for them, I am their only 'daughter' and from their perspective it seems as though I am taking that away from them for no reason. However I also have other issues for wanting to change it (eg. I causes me unnecessary anxiety because of the sever bullying I got when I was younger it has caused me to become panicky due to people calling my name certain ways since that was how the bullies called it). So when I tried to explain this to them, they said they were offended and were implying I was selfish by telling I should watch some videos on compassion to 'understand them'. That may not be what they implied but it was how I perceived it.
Anyways just some things for you guys to know as important counters:
1. My parents do not abuse me. They have never hit me and bad words only really come out in the heat of an argument.
2. I have Asperger's so I don't deal very well with complex emotions which is why I am asking here since I'm not completely sure however, I do not think I'm an asshole but I could kinda see how someone might see me as one...kinda.
3. My parents are not religious and are accepting of the fact that I like girls (kinda with my mum she still prefers I date boys).
And 4. Unless I see a really convincing argument what I will be doing next year is moving my old name to a middle name and using the name I prefer as the legal name. I will also be changing my gender on my birth certificate. However I will allow my parents to call me by my 'old name' as long as they want and will allow them to use she/her pro-nouns around friends and family.
I believe this is an acceptable compromise, and I will as so be booking an appointment sometime in the future to get officially diagnosed.
So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
f9iqa6yDK2Pek5dfxN3zEgC1ZTryViIa
|
akv3u6
|
{
"description": "having rejecting unprotected sex with my girlfriend, even though I've done it before",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having rejecting unprotected sex with my girlfriend, even though I’ve done it before?
|
I have had an on and off relationship with a girl I knew since I was a sophomore in high school. She’s quirky, and has a really high sex drive ever since I knew her. We had a few sexual encounters before in high school, but nothing out of the ordinary and it was always with protection.
We went to different colleges and drifted apart, only for her to chat me up in my second semester of college. We talked a lot, and said she had no place to stay for the night. I offered to let her have my bed in my dorm since my roommate was out for the weekend. One round of drinking later, we ended up having sex. But in the middle of the night we did it again, and I didn’t have another condom, so we just did it without one, and nothing bad happened.
About 2 years later, after having broke up again, we saw each other and decided to try dating again, mostly because she told me she had matured and just wanted something stable, after a pretty nasty engagement on her side. We got somewhat sexual quickly, but didn’t actually do anything up until she invited me over to her folks place so she could cook me dinner.
After dinner, she drank some wine, but because I knew, or at least thought, I was just going back home later, I didn’t have any. She kept insisting I have some and stay the night, but I had school really early, and repetitively said no, to her frustrations, but the night was still nice... except for her telling me that her previous fiancé had sex with questionable women before her, and didn’t know how safe it was.
After making out, we started to undress... and then realized I forgot my condoms in my car. I told her I could go back and get them, but she told me that might wake her parents, and that we should just do it without one, to which I said no. This was mostly because of all the talk of her fiancé having unprotected sex with her and the questionable women of his past, kinda making me paranoid. Didn’t help the house was old, and that I just generally like to play it safe when I’m sober.
She reminded me that we had done it with no protection before, and that there was nothing different now, that she should trust her judgement. In response, I just apologized and said I don’t think I should, to which she got dejected and the night ended with me going home. 2 days later she said she no longer wanted to talk to me.
This all happened around a month ago with no talking since.
At first I was sure I wasn’t being the asshole... but in recent speculation, maybe I should have trusted her judgement, avoided the fight, and kept going.
AITA? I’m severely doubting my own judgement now
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jVnqDPcFuVMNzhudAqjZ7NK72yXWOCxw
|
ap1mhg
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my gf for telling people how much money I make",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Getting Mad at my GF For Telling People How Much Money I Make?
|
I'm M25, she's F24 and we've been together for about a year now. I make about \~250k per year and she makes around 45k and at the start of our relationship she would tell her friends how much she makes etc and it was annoying as they would be all up in my business and I just wanted her to respect my privacy. So she stopped, or so I thought she did. Friday night I went to her work party and when we sat down at our table her work friends were there and they're all like hey man heard you make 250k what do you do, what do you do with the money etc etc. This pissed me off and when we got home I confronted her about it and she said she let it slip on accident because all of the women in the office were talking about how much their SO's make and she just blurted mine out. I was still mad and have been being dry towards her for like a day and she said I'm being a total asshole about this and being a child.
AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
yk9CrXRP5LWhIetV64tKlNSM8yKJNZix
|
aw0345
|
{
"description": "not responding to my girlfriend for two hours while she was texting me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not responding to my girlfriend for two hours while she was texting me?
|
I'll keep this short and to the point.
​
Basically, we had just spent 3 hours together on a date and an hour after I got home I told her I was playing video games. I spent the next two hours playing video games and working on homework before I even checked my phone. However, I did know that she was texting me during this time. When I did read her messages she was asking me if she did something wrong since I wasn't replying. We got into an argument and she said that she feels unimportant and that she was unhappy I didn't update her and left her assuming what I was doing. Am I in the wrong for not updating her? I usually try to update her as much as I can. I love her and care very much about her but sometimes I like to just be alone and want to do my own thing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
azZJHX3MW8sKoHIT707Xc7kF7XIiX74r
|
aq3mhk
|
{
"description": "going to the bar without my chronically late friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For going to the bar without my chronically late friend?
|
Every weekend, I and a group of friends go out to the bar. One friend, who I will call "J" is always late. Literally always. And not just like 20 minutes. Like 4 hours. He also lives right across from the house we meet at before we go.
How it usually goes is we ( including J) agree on a time. Say 7. We all go to one persons house and chill for a while. Eventually, we go to the bar. However, J is never there at 7. We try to text or call but J never answers. So after a while we just go to the bar without him. Usually we get back around 11. J then shows up, ready to go to the bar and is dissapointed that we already went. He also doesnt really make any excuse, and often wont acknowledge he was late unless we mention it. We have tried discussing this, but it doesnt change.
TLDR: My group will go to the bar without one of our friends because he is consistantly several hours late and doesnt answer and calls or texts asking where he is.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
o0D97B4M2nCxK29wQvfGa6CriPo2gD8L
|
9zfw1l
|
{
"description": "being irritated with my so for getting in the way of me trying to do my job",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being irritated with my SO for getting in the way of me trying to do my job?
|
Get home late one night with my SO from a party to find a stranger lying on the road outside our house with a couple of passersby stood over him. Went to investigate as I work I'm a doctor and I have an ethical obligation to help and there is a guy who is obviously intoxicated lying down trying to have a sleep with a couple of women who saw him whilst driving past on the phone for an ambulance. I try to ascertain what has happened but neither of the women know much about it so I do a quick assessment of this guy. Turns out he has taken an overdose along with a significant amount of alcohol and actively wants to die.
​
I'm trying to get a bit more information from him but the whole time during this evening my SO is sat next to him on the floor trying to get him to open up about the stress and bereavement in his life that has led him to this suicide attempt. I tell the passersby they aren't needed and they look relieved to be leaving and I also tell my SO that I don't think they needs to wait outside in the cold for an ambulance, they wants to stay outside though and are sat on the floor half hugging the drunk guy.
​
The whole time as I am trying to get more information about this guy (such as previous health conditions, previous psychiatric conditions, more information about the attempted suicide etc) his attention is distracted by my wife asking him about his family and grandchildren etc. After the event my SO tells me they think I was a jerk to the patient for not showing more empathy. When the paramedic arrives I give him the rundown and my SO contributes some of the social background. I felt annoyed as I was being very professional and my SO was being incredibly sympathetic but just in the wrong time & place (ie not when someone needs acute medical treatment) and not listening to my feedback.
​
AITA for being annoyed that my SO kind of interrupted my flow as a good samaritan making it harder for me to do a good job of assessment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
wqUFIXJ6eszHLx2zq7lwesRBDaR08Vgt
|
b3y3v2
| null |
AITA because before I get pregnant I want to discuss what we would do if our embryo tests positive for Downs Syndrome?
|
My parents told me matter of factly that BEFORE we get pregnant, my partner and I should talk about what we would do if tests come back positive for downs syndrome and other serious birth defects (aka would we keep it or not?).
disclaimer- I think people who have Downs syndrome can and do live full lives and I fully support reducing stigma around what people who have this can and cant do. Also important to note I'm not against abortion.
My partner just says "wow that's dark" when I bring this up... but doesn't want to discuss it further. We are not planning on trying for a baby for at least another year but for now on wondering AITA?
Also *this isnt a debate about abortion*
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 128,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 26,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 154,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ba5Lg4qphy1SVWGRxoJB8KB2tkzhIX6r
|
aqijsf
|
{
"description": "not wanting to reunite with a someone after psych institute discharge",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to reunite with a someone after psych institute discharge
|
I was never good friends with this girl (we are both 17) but my friends were always trying to be closer with her.
There was always something off about her and I never really trusted or liked her but I acted like it for my friends sake.
Last year she randomly disappeared and we didn’t hear from her for a while before she sent our group chat a massive essay about whatever was wrong with her and she left the country to go to a psychiatric hospital thing. Over the time she was gone we didn’t heard from her very often bit when we did she was saying stuff about how she would “be discharged next month” and stuff.
Now she’s finally back and from what I have seen of her via social media and the likes I am not interested in being her friend at all.
She is constantly posting on social media about stupid cringy stuff and telling the whole would about her problems.
However my friends are planning on seeing her soon and when I told them how I felt they said I was just being mean ( I’ve given it a lot of thought over the past few months)
I said I was willing to come see her and see if I’ve changed my mind but they said I shouldn’t come if I’m going to be fake (I wouldn’t be fake I would just leave).
AITA or just let me know whatever you think please
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FqDYERHe0zhZN6LePZX8D2qw1DjlWjY2
|
arlf7c
|
{
"description": "seeking closure with a 'friend' who believes I tried to manipulate him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for seeking closure with a 'friend' who believes I tried to manipulate him?
|
I'm gay and around March last year began getting close with a bisexual friend of mine. By 'close' I mean platonically so. I did have feelings for him but he didn't feel the same way. We spent a lot of time together, spoke a lot, and seemed to think very highly of each other.
I got a big red flag when he tried to make out with me at a party we were both at. This wasn't uncommon behaviour for him, but I took issue with it being directed at me. I forgave him -- he was drunk, after all -- but asked him not to do it again because it was messing with my feelings a little bit. He tried it twice more on two separate occasions before I finally decided I needed some space to deal with my feelings properly. The decision to distance myself was a complicated one; I knew our mutual friends were fed up with him and were on the brink of ditching him, but at the same time I felt suffocated in the relationship and wanted that to end. The problem was that he would be completely alone (he didn't have much of a family at the time) and I didn't want that for him. Nonetheless, I chose to distance myself anyway and made it clear why. I thought that the least helpful thing would be to freeze him out without explanation and that knowing would perhaps make things easier to process.
This lasted for a week. It turned out we were, once again, both present at the same house party. I avoided talking to him and generally stuck to chatting with random people and seeing how it went. Little did I know he was going to try to hang himself in the home-owners garage, or at least that is what it looked like. After seeing him stumble in there, I figured I ought to check on him because I knew there were loads of dangerous tools in rather precarious places and he might knock something over and hurt himself or something. Well, I caught him as I did and we ended up having a long -- rather touchy, on his side of things -- conversation about what was going on. He blamed me for all of it and told me that it was because I'd made him feel guilty. He explained that he loved me, that things could be different if he wasn't afraid of his sexuality, and how he wanted me to promise I wouldn't leave him. Foolishly, I made that promise, if only because I wanted it to make him feel better.
The next day I spoke to him about it because I couldn't really sleep after seeing him all strung up like that. I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help. He said no, but that he would consider the account of everything I'd told him and get back to me. In spite of saying very little about anything else, he told me to discount what he said about loving me. At this point, I just rolled my eyes and waited patiently for a reply that I didn't get. Instead, I heard three different versions of that same story from our mutual friends all over the course of the next month, all which painted me in a bad light. I began to wonder if there was something terrible I'd done but deluded myself into thinking I hadn't. This time I was a little more direct and asked him about it straight up. He then admitted that he was self-harming and blamed it on me, again. From that point onwards I have had recurrent dreams about it and have not been able to absolve my guilt for something which, I can reason now, was not my responsibility. Our mutual friends speculated that he was self-harming, based on something they'd noticed, and I confirmed it for them hoping they'd treat him a little better.
A week later all of our mutual friends had ditched him, and to this day I don't really know why. I can make some educated guesses, but I've never heard any proper explanations. Either way, I thought it was unfair for them to ditch him despite knowing what they did. This meant that I was the only person he really had any more, which wasn't great for me but I accepted that and tried to help. I stayed up night after night to keep him company and, combining that with the guilt of what he'd accused me of, I became very depressed. I gradually isolated myself from everybody but him and neglected the advice of all the friends who told me to stop helping him. I wasn't going to, though, because they were unwilling to give him a second chance and he'd still be all alone.
Suddenly he froze me out and started trying very hard to get back in with these mutual friends again. My poor judgement in isolating myself meant that it was now I who had nobody I was particularly close to anymore and, having become rather unpersonable and irritable in person, nobody was particularly interested in my company. Most of all, I felt betrayed. I'd tried to help him the best I could and after all they'd done to him he was in the process of ditching me in favour of them. I spoke to him about it and he called me selfish for talking about my feelings. I warned him about them -- they'd not only hurt him but countless people in the past, and I think they're pretty callous -- to which he accused me of attempting to manipulate him because, apparently, I wanted control over him. It was at this point I learned that he'd turned to drugs to cope. I told an official trained in pastoral support because I was no longer in a position to help at all and I didn't want to see him running himself into the ground like that. I know it has helped him in the long-run, and it has also meant that his family are looking out for him a lot more now and making sure they're present in his life.
We argued at this point more than we talked normally. I often got angry and was generally scathing to him in these instances, and he'd accuse me of doing all sorts of heinous things that I wouldn't even dream of doing. Depression worsened and my feelings for him hadn't gone, neither had the guilt or the dreams, and any attempt to talk to him about any of this he took severe issue with. On one occasion I lashed out verbally and, I'm told, really hurt him. I remember that I was not pleasant whatsoever and I take responsibility for that. After this, he nearly hit me at another house party and I decided I'd had enough. He ended up in with our mutual 'friends' -- who, at this point, had ditched me -- and I wondered if I'd been so unreasonably terrible that this was what I deserved. I decided to go see a counsellor from this point onwards.
I hadn't spoken to him in four months and have only recently been in contact with him again. The dreams haven't gone and neither has the guilt, and I've asked him if I can talk to him about it. I understand it might be hard for him to talk about all of that stuff, but I feel that if I can reconcile what happened and understand my place in it all I might be able to sleep properly again. Having asked him, he refused on the basis that I'd try to manipulate him again (not that I see where I did this in the first place) and try to turn him against his friends. I pushed for it and he's finally agreed. I'm asking here if I'm the arsehole in this situation because my current friends all become very shifty when I ask them for advice. I don't want to push him, but I'm at a point in my life where I can't afford to be losing sleep over something I think can be ended like this.
Thanks in advance.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IgCWxacQv5Cx3i8GoR6104nntK9Ghdpi
|
al18js
|
{
"description": "making husband throw away pictures of him and his ex",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making husband throw away pictures of him and his ex?
|
To;dr - I made my husband throw away pictures of him and his ex girlfriend.
My husband and I have been married for 4 years now. We have two beautiful boys aged 3 and 2. I was 6 months pregnant when we got married because our first son was a complete accident. For the most part we’re very happy. He’s affectionate, honest, and helpful around the house even though I’m a stay at home mom.
Before we were married he dated his high school sweetheart for 4 years. The only reason they stopped dating is because he joined the military and got stationed to the other side of the US and she was going to a nursing school and couldn’t leave to be with him. I’ve always wondered what would have happened if we hadn’t gotten pregnant. If we would have still been married.
They remained friends well into our relationship to the point that when he went to a 10 week school on a base near his hometown he went to visit her. Nothing happened and I trust him completely on that, however I was in my 2nd trimester at the time. We weren’t married yet, but he had already bought a ring. She told him after that that they shouldn’t talk anymore because it was too difficult for her to move on. Since then they haven’t talked at all.
Recently his parents moved about 5 hours away from us and we’re finally able to give my husband his personal things that he had to leave behind when he joined the military. In it was a huge box of pictures of her, some nudes and lingerie, and all of the letters that she sent to him while he was in basic training. Not going to lie, it hurt seeing all of that because of my anxiety over the beginning of our relationship and having to start with a baby and work up to love.
I told him I didn’t care about the trinkets she gave him. In fact we still have some decorations up in our house that she gave him. I don’t care about the letters. They’re part of his history. But I do care about the pictures and nudes. I don’t want our boys to go through his boxes one day and find nudes of their dad and some other girl.
I asked him to get rid of them. He got really mad at me and when I persisted he threw away the entire box in his anger saying I wanted to make him forget about his past. We’re so happy otherwise and this is really the only huge fight we’ve had in all four years of marriage.
Am I in the wrong for not wanting him to keep pictures of his ex girlfriend? Or am I really just jealous and insecure in our relationship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
E4Ou9hCiN32lpbH5d6A5wMzSiiGkWVhf
|
a8c2c3
|
{
"description": "separating a kitten from his sisters",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for separating a kitten from his sisters?
|
Earlier this year, a feral cat gave birth in my parents' shed. We adopted the three kittens once they were old enough to not need their mother's milk, and I helped take care of them. I moved out of my parent's house recently, and I really miss the kittens. But my landlord says I can only have one pet in my appartment. The solution I'm leaning towards is to take one kitten and leave the other two with my parents. But I'm worried that I'm being selfish. Of course, I would take good care of him and give him plenty of love and attention. But he would never get to see his sisters again, all because I was feeling lonely.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ENesvThGyQgsAJLZzpTRtMHMm7ZzkNkP
|
b1759z
| null |
AITA? Boyfriend took me out for pizza and then surprised me with a gym membership and I got upset
|
A little back story, I’ve struggled with eating disorders all my life and right now I’m at my heaviest weight ever (140, I’m 5’0 so it’s not sexy). My boyfriend knows I have these issues and basically shames me for having them. Sometimes he compares me the other women who have successfully completed a weight loss journey and asks why I can’t just be like them. Tells me how disgusting I am for making myself throw up, that kind of stuff.
To clarify my boyfriend doesn’t go to the gym and he doesn’t eat “healthy”, he has a pretty good metabolism. I’ve gone in and out of spurts where I’ve gone to the gym, and he has never gone with me.
I’ve been more conscious lately of my food choices and am really trying to do it the right way this time.
I had a bad day and he suggested going out for pizza so I wouldn’t have to cook tonight. I’ve been having an exceptionally bad time with depression lately and have had no desire to eat but knew my body was hungry so we went.
(This is something he always does. Every time I start a diet he’ll try to talk me into eating out somewhere “bad” that I love, and he’ll continue to ask until I give in and grab my purse.)
When we got home he randomly says “so I got you a present..” to which I reply, “Oh, what’s that babe?” His response? “A gym membership”. I immediately burst into tears and ask him why he always tries to make things worse when he knows I’m struggling. (I wouldn’t normally react like this right away, but I recently started a new round of anti depressants and it’s been tough on my confidence)
He gets upset and says I’m over reacting and misinterpreting what he said. He’s now claiming he meant we should both get gym memberships and we should both start trying to be healthier.
I’m not against that, but that’s not what he said. I’d love to get healthier, and I have been trying to do so as stated previously. My problem isn’t the idea that he wants me to go to the gym, but the way he delivered the message.
Am I being petty? Am I... the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
NJakZYiWCABaNLVB5sMp7GqVyyEy1nj4
|
b00ynn
|
{
"description": "not letting a mother join her 13 year old in a change room",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting a mother join her 13 year old in a change room?
|
This just happened. Also I don’t apologize for the formatting because half of us are on mobile and I think we can all agree as long as you can tell a story, it doesn’t matter ;)
I work at a Canadian skateboard clothing company. We have started to become very popular with kids ranging from 7-16 years old. This of course means I deal with A LOT of parents, especially mothers.
It’s a pretty common rule in clothing retail places that only one person is permitted in the change room. We obviously bend the rules for those under the age of 7 of people who may have a disability that would require them to have assistance.
Now these rules are posted in the change rooms themselves and on the wall right before you walk in. I set the kid up in the change room and go to help other customers. After about 5 minutes I notice the mother is nowhere to be seen so I go check the change room areas. She is in the change room.
I politely say “I’m very sorry miss but we only allow one person per change room unless they are under the age of 7”
Before I could even say that if he needed assistance she would be able to stay there as long as she didn’t mind stepping out with her bags and items from other stores, she starts going “EXCUSE ME? What kind of rule is this? IVE NEVER HEARD OF IT BEFORE! CANT YOU SEE THAT MY SON NEEDS HELP TYING HIS PANTS AND HE NEEDS ADVICE IF THINGS LOOK GOOD”
I again in a polite tone explain to her that this isn’t a rule I make up but that lost prevention has asked all their stores to follow. I told her that if her son needed some help tying his pants her could step out and ask for her to help him. She tried to yell at me saying I’m embarrassing her son in front of all these people (keep in mind, she is yelling while I’m just standing there straight faced”
She of course calls me rude and “bitchy”, goes up to my coworker to complain and he explains that I’m the manager and yes that is our rule and has been from day 1. This just upsets her more and she grabs her sons arm and drags him to the entrance and rushes off, but not before calling me an asshole.
Thankfully my coworker and I got a good laugh out of this but after these issues happen I always wonder if I was being an asshole in the beginning. I know the customer is “always right” but should I have just let her do her thing?
Thanks :)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
cdNSPX0aGLMyPIY00T9mLIFPaqHNEdkz
|
aw0sy1
|
{
"description": "telling my husband I dont want to get things for him while his mom and him are mad at each other",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my husband I dont want to get things for him while his mom and him are mad at each other?
|
We are living with our inlaws for a couple months while we square away stuff with purchasing a house. My husband and his mom are fire and gasoline and just the smallest thing gets them arguing. It makes situations incredibly tense and awkward and I'm counting the days till we close on the house.
Today, they got into it again about 5 hours ago. I get home from work about 1 hour ago and start working on a project. A half an hour or so later, he comes back from the gym and after 15 minutes or so says to me "I need to you to upstairs and get me a banana, shes not mad at you." (We occupy the lower portion, the kitchen is upstairs). I explained to him that this keeps happening and it puts me in a weird position and it's getting hard having to constantly do this. He then went and got the banana and is now fuming in the other room.
This is a 1-3 times a week thing where I have to get stuff for him because his mom and him got into a fight. I'm his wife, not his intern. I would like them to eventually act like grownups and not fight like 2 crazy roosters all the time but that's next to impossible. Being put in the middle is driving me nuts. Am I being selfish here? Should i do this for him because it's a nice thing to do, or is this too much?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QqcFBYbE88ExqjqalfavygMM337IUzr4
|
b3qyq9
|
{
"description": "being uneasy with husbands secret friend",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being uneasy with husbands secret friend.
|
So a little background.
Husband and I are in our 30s. 3 kids. high school sweethearts. Our relationship has its ups and downs but overall I cant complain.
So about 8 years ago I found out hubby had an affair for 2 years. i suspected something was going on but decided to not investigate further because I was pregnant and didnt want the stress. when that baby was a year old by chance I found incriminating texts and confronted him. it was a shitstorm as you can imagine but we worked through it and had another baby.
the last 6 months have been a little off between us. Money is tight. He got a promotion so more work is brought home. We're on the market for a house. plus 3 kids etc.
Sometime mid January on a Friday he came home saying his back was killing him and he couldn't shake it. Saturday morning it was much worse, however that night he mumbles that hes going out with his boys. I thought was weird bc hey dude your back is killing you stay home! he comes home 11:30 that night still in pain. Sunday he takes an ibuprofen and slept most of the day. He gets a text on his phone. Number isn't saved and is not familiar to me. the text read something like "hey thanks for hanging out. Thanks for motivating me etc" I memorized the number and went on full detective mode, found all types of info on this girl. He went out with her again mid February he told me he was hanging out w his boys. he went out around 6pm ish and didnt get home till 5:30am. through gps and knowing the info on this girl he spent 10-5am at her apt.
I confronted him, went crazy and started hitting him (yeah I know, dont hit people) and in short he tells me shes just a good friend. hes known her for about 8 years and never told me about her because his past cheating and he didnt want me to feel weird about it. My thing is we talk about everything else. He'll tell me about some girl that used to work at his office came by and she lost a lot of weight for her wedding... but why dont you mention your really good friend?! He tells me I'm insecure, I should trust him and that he is entitled to his own life and just because were married doesnt mean i need to know everything. So AITA here?
tl;dr. past infidelity, spouse has a good friend I never knew about.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
AlGllHXB3AmVV7zkm4kLOkc9zSxhTq7X
|
a4c31s
|
{
"description": "ghosting my Mum after not being invited to the family christmas 'thing'",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For ghosting my Mum after not being invited to the family christmas 'thing'?
|
Background info:
I'm in my first year of uni and haven't been back home to see my mum since the start of the semester (but will be going back next week and we have weekly video calls. I don't particularly mind the extended family but i limit my appearances to 4 times a year.
Main:
About an hour ago my mother messaged the family (me and my brothers) group chat telling us
>Family fun. Booze and good flowing. Speak later although you are welcome to call via messenger to say hello. Love you xxx
I replied
>?
And the response of
>It's the family pre Christmas party
was received followed by a load of photos.
Now to clarify even if I was invited I would have excused myself claiming studying or work etc and my mother knows this. And i might have also forgotten if i was told in person or over the phone, but I've checked my text messages and there's no mention of anything on there.
In response to this and after consultation with my flatmates, I've decided i will not be having my weekly telephone call with my mother this evening.
So AITA for getting annoyed at (probably) not being invited to a family event even though I wouldn't have gone and as such ghosting my mother?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
9kvjlhUhBe8RahRgx9BscNSIH7PQm1vZ
|
9tfqg8
|
{
"description": "spiking my girlfriend with water",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for spiking my girlfriend with water
|
My girlfriend was way past drunk and every time she asked for a drink I bought her water
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
MSr4YwpiDIjRCgECLAb8zF2ldT3t4xmf
|
amgenc
|
{
"description": "yelling at my mother after she talked shit about my father",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for yelling at my mother after she talked shit about my father
|
Alright context time. My mothers relationship with my father has never been the greatest. They got divorced about a year ago, and almost every time I bring up our father, she always talks shit about him. Its like she thinks he is as bad as Stalin. Every time I ask why she never gives a direct answer, but all I can make out is that it happend when he was in the Navy during 2006-2008. A couple days ago I was having a bad day. The usual I bring up my father at dinner and she starts talking shit again. But this time, I got mad, like more angry than I have ever been, I started basically screaming at her and she ened up taking most of my electronics.
TL:DR: my mom talks shit about my father and I started yelling at her during dinner.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
4mZK3XSRE1bH8izeANi92mQpFsRYzz5J
|
b6ldek
|
{
"description": "not visiting my grandmother on her death bed despite her request",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for not visiting my grandmother on her death bed despite her request ?
|
My mom called me, she said my grandmother, who's in her eighties, has had a major stroke and is hospitalized. The doctor told her my grandmother probably only has few days left to live. She's conscious but a bit incoherent, and apparently asked if she could see me because I was her first grandchild and that has always meant a lot to her. I also knew this would mean the world to my mom.
My initial gut reaction was that I feel really uncomfortable for being put on a spot like that, and I need to process all the feelings this brought up, so I told my mom I need to think about it before committing to the trip. I spent several hours trying to think if I even have a choice here or am I just complete asshole for saying "no", and what would saying "no" do to my mom who very much would have loved for me to visit my grandmother.
In the end I decided not to visit her, and she did pass away after few days.
**Reasoning**
My family, my extended family, everyone I was related to, were all super religious and it affected absolutely everything when growing up. I lost my faith early and rebelled hard against having to participate despite no longer believing. That earned me frequent physical discipline but it only hardened my non-believing ways, I couldn't wait to grow up and make decisions for my self.
When I finally did grow up and earned my freedom, I cut almost all ties to my relatives. I would still sometimes show up for events for the few people I felt close to and involuntarily meet a lot of the people I did not wish to have relations with, because everyone would always show up for weddings and such. And I would act cordial and put on a fake smile, knowing I'd only have to endure their presence as long as I chose to. Anything to do with religion would always make me sick, bring back bad memories and I would just leave.
And that's what drove me to my decision not to see my grandmother on her death bed despite her request. I had not seen my grandmother in decades and we had grown apart, and despite the love I still feel for my mom I was done pretending, I would not put on a fake smile and listen to my grandmother talk about God. I could not even think what I would do if she wanted to talk about God's mercy, or bless me, or ask me to pray with her. So I decided it would be better to not go, than go and potentially cause a scene.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
Atdw0CJT9z4WL2gGJqUOKu8MUXMG3FPT
|
b3zwes
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be my niece's first communion sponsor",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not wanting to be my niece's first communion sponsor
|
So I am an Atheist but pretty much my whole family is Catholic . They have known im an Atheist for years now and forced me to do my first communion and confirmation (with in the last 2 years). They never go to church but are only taking my niece for her first communion to show the rest of the family they are "good catholics". When doing first communion you usually need to find a person (sponsor) to stand with you and my sister asked me to be that for my niece. My sister does not get along with my one else in the family enough to ask them; leaving her with just me.
I dont even know why they would want me there to beginning with as I believe they whole thing is bullshit.
AITA for telling her no?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kf9RDjP3f0OT1juXRNgFUZ6do5tDMiEy
|
a7rm77
|
{
"description": "getting excited when I do well in tests and kind of upset for when I do badly",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting excited when I do well in tests and kind of upset for when I do badly.
|
Some context to this is that I’m not quite top of the class but I’m probably one of the smartest females in my year at school.
In chemistry I got really annoyed at myself for not getting my target grade in an end of topic test in like October. I had never gotten lower than that before in chemistry and it made me really upset because I had revised a lot and I didn’t manage to get to my potential because I knew the mark that lost me the grade was the most stupid mistake ever. I tried my best not to get upset but I couldn’t help it. I also performed quite badly on my history test, getting two grades below what my target was for even more stupid mistakes. I get 8/32 in my french test and I’m bummed out because I’m literally fluent in french.
My friend told me that because I was getting kind of upset over what I’m getting they think just because I’ve done badly that I reckon they’ve done badly too. I spoke to someone else about this too because I think it’s stupid to try and compare to someone who isn’t yourself because that mindset made me very egotistical and also quite miserable. She’s basically saying that I can’t be upset even though I literally cannot help it sometimes.
Two months later, to now, my luck slightly turns around and my grades are picking up. I’m finally out of my small slump and it feels great because I know I’m getting my potential now. I get 1 mark of full marks in both my chemistry and geography tests. My grades in french are also improving. I get 100% in my citizenship studies test, I get top of the year in physics and history; I’m fucking proud of myself. I should be allowed to do that, right?
I had a friend confront me about this again. I made this post on my instagram stories about how I was really proud of myself for working hard but at the end of the day I still need to learn that my grades aren’t everything. She said this post made her feel and others really bad about themselves. She said that because they think they’ve done well and they look at me being glad I’ve done well they think that well “Thiz wouldn’t think I’ve done well” even though I don’t compare others to myself.
I really don’t know if I’ve being an arsehole about this or not. I genuinely think I haven’t really done that much wrong but if I’m upsetting people then surely I am?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HsMCsQQQj7dKsiaMLnSeSWC79xf7J6VH
|
awjxrx
|
{
"description": "probably getting a young mental health tech fired",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for probably getting a young mental health tech fired
|
Okay so this happened 2-3 years ago and I still don't know if I was in the wrong.
First a bit of back story, I struggle with mental health issues and have since I was 11 and I'm a trans woman meaning I identify as a woman. (This is important)
I was in an inpatient psychiatric ward and this tech who couldn't be more than 27 years old was painting a cis woman's nails. I wanted my nails painted because I was feeling a little dysphoric and that would have helped ease it.
So I ask the tech let's call her Ashley (not real name)
'Ashley? Could you paint my nails next?'
With out missing a beat she said
'You know I can't do that MISTER'
Mister she called me mister in front of everyone.
I broke down and cried while I called my partner and then patient relations. my partner came and painted my nails while Ashley just glared at us. Then later she said to me
'Sailormars24 you're lucky you legally changed your name other wise we wouldn't be able to call you by your preferred name'
I once again called patient relations. The next time I was on that unit Ashley wasn't there the entire time I was there. I think she got fired?
AITA for probably getting her fired?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xgAni3fW6gbfDo5LkfPZNV4muWN7g44M
|
9vn7hw
|
{
"description": "not caring about a former friend's mental health",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not caring about a former friend's mental health?
|
My former friend of six years lied to me about something very important that had to do with my relationship with my boyfriend, and I apologized to my BF about believing my friend over him, and I cut my friend outta my life but now my boyfriend has forgiven him and is now hanging out with him in the past couple of months the friend has been hospitalized for self harm and my boyfriend is trying to get me to be friends with him again, I don't want him to continue to hurt himself but I have no desire to see him again
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cbK2ZEGL8P97udxV7CbOWGyP0T7hfzSR
|
afe1jr
|
{
"description": "all ditching this guy at once",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA (+Friends) for all ditching this guy at once?
|
So me and my friend group is pretty large, but close knit. It's a odd group, it's mostly odd misfits just kind of mashed together, but we are generally all very close, think of it like an old western gang, that all stick together, through everything, despite everyone being from radically different walks of life, and such.
This guy, A, is one of the senior members I suppose. He's known a few of the more prominent folks since they were kids. I only met him last summer, since I basically made my way into the group in the last 8 months or so. Despite that, I can probably say that I'm a big part of the group now. I'm one of the people that is basically up for whatever, and as such I've gotten to know people fairly well.
A, however, comes and goes as he pleases. This is fine, lots of people do this, but he seems to think he has this huge amount of authority in the group. Like, if there's a problem between two people, he's the one that goes and fixes (not) things, wether he knows the people or even the first thing about the situation. He basically inserts himself in whatever happens, without asking, and sort of hangs on until you ignore him, like even deep seated family shit.
He also has no sense of what's socially appropriate. Once, he randomly sat down with me and the girl I was seeing at the time, and basically sort of nagged his way into helping me and her with her essay, despite her never even having even met this guy before.
Also, he's a HUGE leech, he basically refuses to clean up when hanging out, and refuses to leave if you let him stay over.
The last straw was this week, when he apparently decided he wanted to become a shaman. All of the sudden everyone's FB walls were filled with shaman nature shit, and videos of him doing "shaman rituals". This is nothing new, last month he was apparently a pagan, and spammed pagan shit, despite knowing that there are legitimate pagans in our group. We ended up gathered and just ripping on that shaman shit, and we got to discussing other things about him, and his behavior, which is interesting but not really interested in sharing here. AWTA?
TL;DR - A friend recently became a shaman or whatever, me and my friends got to talking about him in general after having a laugh about the shaman stuff. Turns out we all think he's creepy, a huge leech, and we all made sort of a group decision to stop associating with him en masse. Am I, and my friends the assholes?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
68aPT6XXFAoeIbz5UNCi1KjwnG5VQQbP
|
b3evio
|
{
"description": "not wanting to date someone with mental health issues (like depression) and stay friends instead",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to date someone with mental health issues (like depression) and stay friends instead?
|
I'm having a crisis and I can't think straight, so I'm consulting everyone here.
Initially I thought I could do it. Really. I had all the determination in the world to support her and believe I could. I also suffer with mental health issues and I don't know whether it's right to put mine first. Everything I hear her say sometimes, it really hurts. The stress is unreal for me and I don't know why.
"I don't have anything to live for."
"Me?"
"No."
No matter how much I try, I don't seem to do enough. It crushes my heart so much.
She had counselling but stopped it because she didn't find it helpful.
It makes me wonder whether I'm really right for her.
But I feel I'll be giving her false hope here. Dating her then separating for the thing she's broken up with people for.
Do I be selfish or AITA for it? Some part of me wants to stay friends with her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kuYgECyMUBK9rPCyrcXwd9siNkUK4CkP
|
9zsdgo
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend because I didn't like his body",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because I didn't like his body?
|
Ok. So I recently broke ties with my boyfriend of a couple months because I didn't like his body type.
We were together for about three months, and on a whim (he was probably a little tipsy, honestly) he sent a naked photo of himself. If I'm being honest, I didn't really like what I saw. I knew he was a overweight, but he was just a little too overweight for me to consider attractive.
Don't get me wrong, I don't expect men to be in top-tape shape with six-packs and all that jazz (I actually prefer guys with a little meat on their bones. Better to cuddle with \^\_\^), but he was just out of that range I considered attractive.
He also had a wonderful personality, and we clicked very well together due to our similar senses of humour and interests. He liked a lot of WoW and manga, as well as DnD and MTG. We were both giant nerds, and I loved that part of him. I felt like I could truly say anything to him. That being said, I'm not a perfect person, and I don't expect my partners to be either, but I just didn't like how he looked.
I thought about encouraging him to lose weight, and stayed with him to see if it played out right. I didn't do that for a couple reasons. For one, I felt if I did, I'd be leading him on, and I would hate to do that to someone. It's possibly one of the worst things you *can* do to someone. And secondly, I felt I wouldn't be able to "fake" attraction to him. I loved him as buddy and a wonderful friend, but I would not consider him a sexual partner, as he considered me.
​
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
BptkgpmfwtpfCnm3Ret2BNWktLsQvQ8g
|
b00ysg
|
{
"description": "not wanting a close relationship with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting a close relationship with my mom?
|
My mom basically wants me to be her best friend. She tells me all of her most intimate thoughts and feelings. She wants me to do the same, and if I don’t volunteer, she will ask again and again. If that doesn’t work, she’ll overshare and then guilt trip me into levelling with her. At least that’s what it feels like – but I can’t actually know that she’s consciously being that manipulative. Maybe she's just desperate to be close to me.
I have gotten better at setting up boundaries for myself, even if it is stressful to enforce them. I sometimes slip up because I’m tired, and it makes me feel more naked than being without clothes ever has. But even when I make her stay clear of that, it takes emotional effort to talk to her. She’s a very negative person. Her two subjects for conversation are complaining about mundane stuff, and shit talking other people. I have pointed out many times that I don't like this, especially the badmouthing, but she seems unable to come up with anything else. Of course I try to provide subjects, but if I get into my own stuff she starts with the prying again.
She gives me a break from time to time, but for long periods she will call me incessantly – sometimes multiple times a day. If I don’t respond for a few days, she’ll lament to other family members that she’s worried I must be having a depressive episode (which I had in my teenage years, but I’m not unstable enough for anyone else to overthink my behaviour in this way). Then my family members text me and say I need to give her a call, because she’s feeling rejected and I’m making her worried.
What I would really like is to have an amicable, but less intimate relationship with her. I would love to come visit my parents for dinner perhaps once a month, just updating each other on our lives and discuss some interesting topics. Is that unusually distant? Do I need to accept that this emotional labour is my job as her daughter? She has few friends she feels close to. She’s still married to my father though, so she’s not completely alone. She also has my brother, but for some reason she’s not that obsessed with him.
​
1) I feel guilty for keeping her at the distance I already do, refusing to confide in her and to be her confidante to the degree she wants. AITA about that?
2) AITA If I reduce contact with her? Bear in mind, reducing contact would mean blatantly ignoring her (and my family's requests to call her), because she ignores my expressed wishes to talk less frequently. She makes a sad voice and says she's just so hungry for contact. The more I answer her, the more she calls.
​
TL;DR: AITA if I insist on a level of closeness that I would prefer, even if it hurts my mother? She’s not abusive, but has boundary issues and fills my head with negativity.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6yXzuCFkE9OGf2J919ZM15VrsFessSWc
|
ad9ycy
|
{
"description": "making a girl cry by calling her fat when she was roasting me for being skinny",
"pronormative_score": 915,
"contranormative_score": 314
}
|
AITA for making a girl cry by calling her fat when she was roasting me for being skinny?
|
Context: So a couple of girls in my college friend group have a roommate called “Jan”. I am acquainted with her and we never really had any problems, we actually made quite a good beer pong duo. I’m a tall and lanky guy at 6’1 and 155lbs. Jan is a white chick on the heavier-side.
Recently, we had a watch party at Jan’s apartment for the Michigan Football Bowl Game where our friends were all having a good time getting pretty tipsy. My buddy and I were talking about whether our QB should declare for the draft or return. I said “I sure hope he comes back, Dylan (our backup QB) is still young and is still pretty scrawny.”
Jan has a huge man crush on Dylan and didn’t appreciate that I called him skinny.
This caused her to go on a drunken tirade saying “what makes you think that you can call him skinny when you’re literally built of twigs?” “You would die playing football. Tbh I don’t think you could even lift a helmet!”
At first, I took it on the chin, had a chuckle about it, and poked back a bit. I usually got my leg pulled about my physique but I never took it personally. Until she started making it personal.
“Look at you, you’re like one of those starving African kids on those TV commercials” (I’m brown but not African)
“That’s why Dylan is a chick-magnet and [my ex] dumped you. You look malnourished”
She kept going and now I was beginning to boil. I wasn’t even responding at this point, just biting my tongue. But then I snapped.
Her: “Go lift some weights. It’s okay no one will judge you if you can only curl 5 pounds.”
Me: “If you could tell me what your current diet is, I’m sure I’ll put on weight in no time.”
*silence*
Her: “What are you trying to say?”
Me: “I’m saying that if I’m a malnourished African then you could be on The Biggest Loser. And I’m pretty certain you wouldn’t win.
Her: No wonder [ex] didn’t want you. Go fuck yourself.
Me: And no guy wants you. The last dick you got was Moby Dick. Fucking whale.
At this point she was in tears, make-up running and everything. Her chick friends helped her into a bedroom to comfort her while looking back at me with a death glare.
Since this was at Jan’s place, I figured I should leave (Michigan was getting slaughtered at this point anyways). I finished my beer and left. I got a FaceTime from one of friends who is Jan’s roommate. She urged me to apologize because she was just playing around and I went too far. I didn’t feel that way and I don’t want to apologize.
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 57,
"OTHER": 897,
"EVERYBODY": 257,
"NOBODY": 18,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 915,
"WRONG": 314
}
|
RIGHT
|
4vw4Bnt5PGsJnBLGSJlnx9BHmOGk3kE0
|
azo0ek
|
{
"description": "being frustrated that my mom smokes",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being frustrated that my mom smokes?
|
Just to clarify, I have no problem with people smoking. I used to smoke, most of my friends and family smoke, I don’t care.
The problem with my mom is that she is so fucking hypocritical about it. First of all, she says that she isn’t a smoker even tho every single time she sees family (1-3 times a week) she repeatedly asks to bum a few off of them while nervous-laughing and saying she *never* smokes, she also gives my husband endless shit for the fact that he vapes (nicotine free) a few times a month. She also got pissed when my brother started vaping because ‘it’s so unhealthy’.
But the thing that pisses me off the most is that she has health issues that involve her lungs and she actually has to use an inhaler and does breathing treatments. I also have health issues and she loses her goddamn mind if I do anything she thinks is bad for me (she’s an antivaxxer who thinks essential oils can cure cancer....I’m only slightly exaggerating) which includes taking my prescription medications, but god forbid I even hint that smoking isn’t a good idea for her. It’s her life and her choice but when she does it right in front of me and then wants my approval it pisses me off.
So, AITA for getting pissed every time she wants me to smile and tell her it’s ok for her to keep smoking?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YJX4grt8tcrry40raILnrdPOF5MiY8g3
|
a6ic31
|
{
"description": "wanting to take my 3-year-old on a 7-hour round trip to visit my boyfriend's mom for her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting to take my 3-year-old on a 7-hour round trip to visit my boyfriend’s mom for her birthday?
|
He thinks it’s unfair to her to make her sit in the car that long and that since we will only be there for a couple hours, it’s not rewarding enough for her to justify making her sit in a car that long. I think she should be able to go. I feel like I’m being left out and punished for having a child, like I’m not allowed to enjoy seeing family all because she **might** get bored and cranky. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
qXl3l0dnv9tn0eiRwy8lEBhjcoU0bgw5
|
asbmip
|
{
"description": "card counting in a \"friendly\" game of Egyptian",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for card counting in a “friendly” game of Egyptian?
|
Before school started, I was playing Egyptian Rat Screw with a friend of my sister. (We’re pretty much friends because I roll with Sis’ group) Friend was trash talking everyone about her skills with the game the day before. Anyways, it’s a popular game with lots of different names and rule variations. I brought my deck and we got down to business. Anytime I missed a slap, she calls me slow. So I start calling her slow back. Eventually, I have a thin deck with lots of doubles (if 2 cards of the same number are played consecutively, you can slap the pile and take it.) and I start counting. I end up winning, she gets MEGA salty. Yelling at me for cheating, rigging the deck, anything she can think of. Fin.
I’m like 90 percent sure this is an NTA, but I wanted to ask.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
pesY3rroxxGm7MYu72NKR1XQDiDyyhsW
|
b5f3gt
|
{
"description": "turning my ex in for not paying child support",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I turn my ex in for not paying child support?
|
My ex doesn’t pay her child support. She can afford to, she just doesn’t. She has monthly contempt hearings where she claims she’s disabled and works limited hours. She convinced her doctor too so the court’s hands are tied. She also has a fraudulent claim open with SSI.
She works for herself and her clients pay cash under the table. She leased space at my business last year and used my front desk staff for scheduling, so I have proof she’s lying. I’m considering taking it to the prosecutor. He’s a friend of a friend; if I tell him what I know he can subpoena my business records so it won’t look vindictive on my part.
Reasons to turn her in:
1. She was abusive when we were together and has been even more abusive since I terminated her contract with my business due to her poor behavior.
2. She extorted $8,000 from me and made false claims to an agency that oversees my business, resulting in thousands of dollars in attorney fees to defend myself.
3. She took our dog (he’s legally hers, but I helped raise him and can provide a much better home) and jerks me around when I want to see him. I want him back. She’s not feeding him right, she gives him marijuana, he’s skinny and malnourished and I’m worried for him.
4. She’s committing fraud by not paying her taxes and if her SSI claim goes through she’ll be stealing directly from all of us. As someone who pays a lot in taxes each year, this pisses me off.
Reasons I’m hesitating:
1. My motives aren’t pure. I’m angry and seeking revenge and that really isn’t my style nor a good reason to do it.
2. The child support judgment was unfair. She was a stay at home mom with no income. Her ex controlled the money so he got an attorney, she didn’t so they destroyed her in court. She’s been hiding from the system since.
3. The money won’t help her child. Her ex makes twice her income. The last time the court seized her money, he spent it on a cruise.
4. She’s talked about not wanting to be alive. The court will likely take everything she owns (which isn’t much tbh) and put her in jail for awhile. With nothing left to lose I’m afraid it will push her over the edge and I don’t want that on my conscience.
5. She’s planning to move out of state soon. If I turn her in, she’ll be stuck here longer.
My staff can’t stand her, they’ve all had to deal with her shenanigans and are encouraging me to turn her in. She’s still playing games with us, harassing us with fake social media accounts and so on.
I’m really torn and I’ve been agonizing over this for months. Mostly I just want the dog back before he dies in her “care” and I feel like she’ll have little choice but to sell him to me when this all comes down. She’ll be hard up for money and I’m the only person she knows who has any. She’s said she would sell him to me on many occasions but always backs out with some lame excuse; she’s clearly using my love for him to manipulate me.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
pPAsS0eaixjQEbqjTLgo06wbficzcEOF
|
b3sscg
|
{
"description": "using my kitchen in the morning",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for using my kitchen in the morning?
|
I’ve lived with two roommates for 2.5 years. Aside from them not helping with housekeeping, things have been generally fine. Until this morning. The beef is between me and my roommate who I’ll call Ada.
I am a full time law student, and my schedule makes it impossible for me to hold down a part time job. I live on loans, and a monthly gift card to a grocery store from my parents. The cost of living in my city is absurd, so I don’t have much, if any, room in my budget for luxuries like going out for a beer or ordering pizza every so often. Since I really love to bake, and I can get ingredients in bulk for cheap, I started a side hustle selling baked goods. Business isn’t exactly booming, but I get enough cash to let me enjoy my some little things every now and then.
Last night I got an order for a batch of cupcakes. My policy is to take any order I get, as long as I don’t have another one that I’m making, since if I say no I likely lose that customer forever. I can crank out a batch in an hour, but my partner and I had plans last night so I decided that instead of staying up late I’d just get up a little early and take care of it then.
So at 6:30 I got up and started doing prep work. Pulling out bowls, measuring out ingredients, warming butter, etc. Everything I use, except my mixer, is lexan or silicone, so it’s not noisy. At 7:00, I started putting everything together and turned on my mixer, which is kind of annoying but on low speeds it’s pretty quiet. I also cover my mixer with a towel, to keep dry ingredients from splashing out, which helps muffle the noise.
At 7:40, Ada bursts out of her room demanding to know what’s wrong with me, reminds me that I live with other people, and complains that it’s ridiculous that I’m doing this when she already has to suffer through “falling asleep to gunshots” every night. Pretty sure that is referring to me playing xbox in the evening. I generally keep the volume so low that I can barely hear it, I rarely play past 10-11pm and certainly not every night, and she falls asleep watching Law and Order or Game of Thrones, so even if the volume WASN’T whisper quiet I don’t see how she could hear my tv over hers, when I can hear hers over mine. She’s also seen me playing with headphones on before, so it’s not like she couldn’t have asked me to put headphones on at some point over the past two years if it was bothering her.
So, am I the asshole here? Is it really so absurd that I use my kitchen in the morning? I mean, what if I wanted to make a smoothie for myself for breakfast every morning, I’ve lived with people who do that and it never bothered me. Would I be yelled at for using a blender? I feel like living with other people includes occasional inconvenience. This is the only time I’ve ever started baking this early, and if she’d complained to me about noise from gaming earlier I’d have taken steps to fix it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
tnUWsQvZoMKr5GgggueBFvMedBIeME2K
|
albxyk
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be around/ interact with people with mental disabilities? please read",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be around/ interact with people with mental disabilities? Please read!
|
My apologies for the limited title - I wasn’t sure how to explain my dilemma in such a short phrase, so please keep reading. An important clarification: I have absolutely nothing against people with mental disabilities (other than some internalized prejudice I’m sure I have) and fully support them interacting freely with mentally abled people.
My issue is that I have a good amount social anxiety mixed into a generalized anxiety disorder, as well as a panic disorder. I really struggle with how to react to people with mental disabilities, because I am constantly worried that I will offend them, say something generally offensive/incorrect/otherwise unacceptable and be judged for it, and/or that I will somehow make a faux pas that ends up giving the impression that I am consciously prejudiced. Due to the fact that these interactions or potential interactions are so fraught with ‘danger’ for me, (even though logically I know it will be fine and that most slip ups can be alleviated with apologies and acknowledgements) I usually end up having a panic attack, or generally just running away from interactions with mentally disabled folks.
So, here’s my question: AITA for wanting to completely avoid interactions with mentally disabled people, and generally avoid being around them, to spare myself the anxiety and panic that comes from it? Is it wrong of me to just want to escape however possible? I always try to be kind, but I know that it’s still obvious that I’m brushing them off in the hopes they’ll stop talking to me/ being around me. Am I a shitty person for prioritizing my anxiety/ panic issues over giving someone the time of day?
TL;DR: I generally try to avoid people with mental disabilities because the complex social issues around those interactions make my anxiety/panic get really bad. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
k7JhC1zl0PFVekDDISnKHXn3Kxf7pJfx
|
b60vn8
|
{
"description": "not wanting my roommate to move my laundry",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not wanting my roommate to move my laundry?
|
For some context: My roommate [25F] and I [27F] have lived together for a few years now. Overall it's a nice arrangement, despite the fact that she has some rather inconsiderate living habits. I let it slide bc it's no biggie in the long run. One of the perks of our place is a washer and dryer in unit, though it is in the garage so if clothes get left out they get dusty/linty and I feel they need to be rewashed (she doesnt).
I put in a load of wash before bed last night and moved it to the dryer this morning. My roommate knows that I dont like my clothes left out because I've asked her to please tell me and I'll move it if it's ever in the way. She hasn't had to ask more than a half dozen times in the several years we've lived together bc I'm good about getting my clothes within 24 hrs.
So today I come home and my stuff is piled on the dryer and covered in dust/lint/dog hair. So, I texted her.
Me: Hey, just as a heads up, can you not put my stuff on top of the dryer? It gets all dusty and linty in the garage and then I feel like I have to wash it again, I'd rather you just let me know and I can move it in the future please :)
RM: Hey sorry i meant to text you. I really needed to put my stuff in the dryer but I was running late and didn't want to climb 2 flights of stairs in heels. My bad, I know you don't like things being left out. But to be fair, you did the same thing to my sheets. Not saying that's an excuse or anything but still
Me: Well, you also had left it in there for 5 days and were gone, and I usually bring it upstairs for you and have even folded stuff for you. I've said a number of times that I dont like the stuff left out and it was only in there for a day...those arent really equivalent if you ask me
RM: I was literally dead [she was sick with a cold and went home for several days], that's why I didn't move them. honestly I forgot because I was dead. I also have taken your stuff upstairs every single time since you mentioned it to me first and this was the first time and I said I meant to text you and apologize. I honestly don't appreciate being berated. It's literally just laundry I don't wanna fight over this
Me: I'm not berating you, I was just being direct and I thought I was pretty nice about the request, simply pointed out the differences as I saw them since you had mentioned how you saw the situation. I dont want to fight over this either. Didnt know we were.
She then told me that my messages were aggressive. Shes very nonconfrontational but it's like I cant say anything without her getting defensive and playing the victim. I wasn't even mad/mean, just a bit annoyed but trying to be clear and polite. I told her I didnt mean to come across that way, that I was just trying to be straightforward not confrontational and that I didnt want to go further since it was devolving into bickering.
So Reddit, AITA? Feedback on my "aggressive" behavior is most welcome
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
VKiDmMr3FZpmTj9DbFgI29oUU25DUUjg
|
ag0tfv
|
{
"description": "telling my ex I wouldn't care if she killed herself",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA if I tell my ex I wouldn't care if she killed herself?
|
Sorry, kinda bait title. Here's the full story of my ex and I to get some context on why I said this:
November 2017, I started dating this 17 year old girl (I was 15 at the time). Everything was decent enough up to two months in. Late January 2018, I went over to her house for a cuddle movie night type of thing, and I notice she is hiding something from me. (She would do this high pitch tone if she wasn't fully honest) I spent 5 minutes asking about what she was hiding from me and she told me she was pregnant with her ex's child the entire time we dated and didn't tell me. I broke up with her on the spot and left.
Fast forward to the very end of May 2018 and she texts me asking if we could try again. We talk for a few days and comes around early June and we get back together... for 20 minutes. I notice her mood change rather quick and realized, yet again, she was lying to me. (She sucks ass at hiding her lies) She tells me her ex she is having the kid with and her got back together and wanted to try and trick me into keeping their kid once it was born. So this girl not only didn't tell me about the kid when she was with me but also tried to make me keep it. I kick her out of my house.
My birthday passes on June 19, and I get a text over Instagram on June 22 from her. She basically tries to get back with me again, and I profusely kept saying no at every advancement she tried to pull. This would start her trying to get back with me every once and a while for the next almost 6 and a half months.
Finally a week ago, I snapped. She tried to pull the whole "I'm gonna kill myself" ordeal that people use when rejected, in which I then told her that I wouldn't care if she killed herself and to never text me again, that I was done with her shit right then and there.
There are some other details after that but they need to stay private due to them still going on and for identity reasons.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
kUtGGrV34Ssc5KxUy70jk7x0xDkO9mbY
|
ak8oif
|
{
"description": "asking for more money, for being asked to work longer shifts",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for asking for more money, for being asked to work longer shifts?
|
Ok, this happened a few hours ago. Quick breakdown, I am a freelance audio engineer, I work for a handful of clubs and production companies in NY. I get an hourly rate for this particular company, which a 5 hour gig is the standard, not including the time to and from the gig. A couple of months ago is accidentally double booked myself and only realized is when this particular boss called me asking why I was 15 minutes late. I was working another gig 97 miles away and there was no way I’d be able to make it there, for anything. So he was forced to find someone else to mix last minute. It was my fault, I apologized to everyone, told them it would ever happen again, I didn’t get fired (luckily all of our clients like and prefer me on gigs) and I have a booking for tomorrow. This same boss asks me to to come 45 minutes early, to prep the show because it’s an extra large band. My reply was, “hey, why don’t we just chalk it up to an extra hour pay and I’ll be there at 4:30” . Plenty of time to get the band situated/sound checked/ etc.
His response...
“Nah, just be ready for sound check at 5. If it makes you feel better you can count it towards the time you messed up the Lakewood gig and it ended up costing me an extra 300 for the guy that covered you”
I’m not really sure how to take that? I mean I’m really pissed, but does anyone deserve that shitty response from an employer? Thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
E2s5CH7fwU5rv3EBaDRCZsRpn1XVsPWa
|
9w6i8t
| null |
AITA for been pissed off with my now ex girlfriend because I worked unpaid to see her more despite her not asking me to?
|
Me and my now ex Girlfriend lived over an hour away, we would always say how we wished we could see each other more so I spoke to my boss about getting more holiday, we came to an agreement that if I did some hours unpaid I could have the holiday I wanted (I work for a small construction firm)
I didn’t tell her because I wanted to surprise her for the holidays, we ended up breaking up about a month ago and one of the reason been distance, she says she doesn’t have time and I got pissed off because I told her i didn’t have time with work so I made time for her.
She told me that it’s my fault for getting pissed off and doing that because she never asked me to and she called me the asshole for trying to put this on her (I obviously had less time for her with all the unpaid extra work) and try make her feel guilty.
I’m not asking for judgement about her reasons for ending it, it’s more about the holiday I built up just for her, I feel like she was really unappreciative of what I did for her, I just want an outside opinion on the situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
i8OkoHJM4mhVerz48k5tgXmW4R5AfQUG
|
aqbs39
|
{
"description": "wanting to attend my best friend's (wife's) baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to attend my best friend's (wife's) baby shower?
|
My friend (S) and his wife (L) (I don't say friends because L and I unfortunately just don't know eachother very well. We get on just fine, but aren't super close.) are having a baby, and they posted an open invitation on Facebook to their baby shower on Sunday. The invite said everyone is invited to come and celebrate with them, and they affirmed in person that this was the case, but S's mother and another woman that were organizing the event said "ladies" are invited when announcing it.
I showed up a bit before hand, and S, L, and S's family invited me to go to lunch with them, saying, "You're family, come on!" (S and I have been friends for about 15 years, though within the last few years we have drifted apart. Sunday was the first time he and I had spoken in several months.) We caught up a bit, they graciously offered to pay for my lunch, and then we headed back to the place the shower was being held.
We all worked on decorating and setting things up, which took about 40 minutes or so. Then S and his father (P) had planned to leave and kill time until the shower was over. I had told S I wanted to attend the shower when I arrived earlier, which he seemed fine with at the time; he actually wanted to attend as well. His mother (R) said, "alright guys, time to leave." So P came over and asked if I wanted to ride with them, or if I had some other way of getting home.
I stepped out to talk to S and P, and clarify that I actually wanted to attend the shower. P responded, "Well, you have to leave, R said no guys." At this point L wandered out, and asked what we were talking about. I told her, "Obviously if it would make you uncomfortable for me to stay I would be happy to go; would it bother you if I stayed?" To which she replied, "No, I don't mind." So I said, "alright, then I think I'll stay." S said, "well, she just wants everyone to be there," and laughed a bit. He said she should head back in and make sure everything was ready for the shower, so she left.
P said again that I couldn't stay because R said no guys allowed. They all know I'm a trans lady, and that I've been medically transitioning since April 2018. I had discussed this with S and L months ago, and they implied they were supportive, with L even asking me if I wanted to go clothes shopping with her the next time she went and work on figuring out what styles I like, although we never set a date and that plan feel through. Earlier in the day they had all remarked that I looked like I had lost a lot of weight, and P asked me if I had been exercising a ton, what was my secret, etc. I told him it was probably the feminizing hormones, and joked that that routine probably isn't for most people. (I should add that P made probably 2 or 3 comments about my weight/dieting at different times throughout the day, which seemed uncharacteristic of him; I don't know what to make of that.)
I felt embarrassed at the conversation just before the shower, and felt like I was making a spectacle, but I guess I looked upset or disappointed enough, that S asked R if it really mattered who attended. She relented, and said S could stay if he wanted, so he and I went inside and P left to kill time for a couple of hours until the baby shower was over.
The baby shower was fine, it didn't seem awkward or weird at all. When S walked in and was looking for a seat R said, "S really wanted to stay," and one of the ladies joked, "Its 2019, the more the merrier!" I didn't know what to expect, it was a little boring, but some of the gifts were really sweet, and I thought I should be glad I attended. Instead I just felt petty and selfish for making it about myself. I had told myself I was there to support L, but honestly I wanted to go so I would feel like less of an imposter. I felt like baby showers are a thing that women just do, a social obligation, and I wanted to prove to my family and the people in my life that I really am a lady, and I'm not just pretending.
Now I just feel like a dumbass for making a fuss and being so self-centered. The point of the shower was to support L, and I could have ended up causing a huge issue and ruining it. I don't think S even cares about me anymore, tbh. I'm on the autistic spectrum, and I'm just not very good at reading people, empathy has never been my strong suit. Maybe he was just trying not to make waves. I don't know if I should feel this way or not, I have absolutely no idea what I should have done differently.
TL;DR I, a trans woman, wanted to attend a baby shower for my (used-to-be) best friend, am almost turned away because it's for ladies only, complain, am allowed to stay, feel like shit afterward.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
UhcUvBVrvXHcDoUCuwBIIA1I7YLqJbLF
|
azzunr
|
{
"description": "not going home with a drag queen after letting them buy me free drinks",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not going home with a drag queen after letting them buy me free drinks?
|
So I’m a heteroflexible dude who mostly fucks women but introduces a man every once in awhile. I also hang out at my cities resident gay club a lot because I like dancing and it’s the only club in town not filled with frat bros (college town).
Anyway I got really plastered and spent awhile making out with a drag queen there and letting him buy me drinks even though I wasn’t super into him. I’m 21, he was maybe early 30s.
End of the night he kept asking me to go home with him and I just wasn’t really feeling it so I declined. Truthfully I wasn’t feeling it the whole night but wanted someone to make out with and dance on me, and honestly to by me free drinks.
I guess I used him a little, but I did spend the night with him and I think we both had a good time, I just didn’t want to have sex with him. Does this make me the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
EQoQltNfMQekAZHuWkNd9RBgarR9U4hF
|
aable6
|
{
"description": "not making a charity that I promised for",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for not making a charity that i promised for
|
hey
i live in turkey. about a 30min. ago a friend of mine send me a charity message. it was for refugees from east turkistan,china i suppose, who is struggling about affording their taxes, basic needs such as food, cloth and stuff. i saw that and jump it nosedive, reason i didnt check who was operating the charity, i ask my friend and he said he know the guys operating this. and one more, these days im studying for SAT like university exam second time(year) and i just miss warcraft so much... but i shouldnt go back.
so it was a magnificent idea to send away the mone away from me, i can both do a charity and focus my lessons. i message the guy how much im going to give and i wanted a bank account to transfer money. then, after i did this all, i check the guys profile. it was "ilim yayma cemiyeti" "enlightment spread society".
it is an association which was earlier a part of FETO or Gulen "community" then they leave the gulen to be closer to Erdogan government. now they are filling up the ranks of old FETO members.
this is the problem, i can keep my promise and help the needers alongside a part of old FETO, or i can violate my word and not help those guys.
there is two certain things about this whole situation, that i will not buy wow whatever i choose, it cause a big trouble in my mind now. gotta study.
and second is if i help, refugees will definitely get it. in the and this is a very small part of what happens. i dont think my 100try would really affect so much.
both choices are seems to be asshole-ish, but which is less?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.