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PNmuOJmCyB0UcA7Y9C2mU7pYTu9Wi2nJ
|
arkkh9
|
{
"description": "telling an ex-friend her boyfriend is cheating on her",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling an ex-friend her boyfriend is cheating on her?
|
I'll try to be as concise as I can, it's not that long of a story but there's a lot of backstory. I apologize in advance for spelling mistakes (english is not my first language) and for formatting (I'm on mobile). tl;dr at the end
I have this group of friends and we are all pretty close since we were 15-16 (I'm in my twenties); we hang out together almost every weekend, spend holidays together and go all on vacation. Last year one of the friends in the group, let's call her S, met this guy, O, and they started dating. Pretty fast she started ditching us for him, making up excuses to not go out with us, missing birthdays, not answering texts on the group chat and straight up ignoring us. Other things happened and we all fought with her for stuff she did all throughout the year; in October we decided to all talk to her to try and solve the situation (she was not only ignoring us and fighting with us for everything but she started to talk behind our backs too) and we had a fight, with her leaving the group chat and blocking some of us on social media.
Yesterday we were together for one of my friend's birthday party: we went to eat a restaurant and then stayed all at her house to spend some time together. Around 1 a.m. I decided it was time to leave because it takes me 20ish minutes to drive home and I was also giving a ride back home to one other friend (let's call her E). We jumped in my car and a couple of blocks after there was this car parked on the side of the road with the lights on. Now, I forgot to say that O's car is very recognizable: it's red, has a lot of bodywork and a spoiler. And the car on the side of the road was exactly the same. Both me and E recognized it as his car and we looked inside when passing by; inside we saw a guy looking a lot like O and a girl, who was definitely not S, kissing. We were both were so shocked I had to turn around and check again if it really was him. We still were not 100% sure but there's not many cars like his, plus it didn't make sense for him and S to meet there since she lives in another town. We write everything in the group chat and we are all pretty shocked and bummed for S, because even if she was kind of a bitch to us we still think of her as a friend.
This morning one of S's closest friends in the group, M, decided to write her to meet up and talk to her about what me and E saw and asked me about all the informations; I told her everything and totally supported and pushed her decision to talk to her. I wanted to do it myself, but S blocked me on all social media. M tries to convince S to go out but S doesn't want to, saying that if M wants to talk about her boyfriend then they don't need to talk because her boyfriend did nothing wrong (which is a very weird thing to say when someone wants to talk to you). M told her about the kissing situation and S started telling her off, saying things like "my boyfriend is not a monster, he loves me" "you just want to ruin my relationship". After that convo, S's dad called M and told her to back off and that he would sue her and beat her up for calling his daughter (yeah, it's a pretty fucked up situation).
Now I feel like I'm totally responsible for what happened and for involving M in the situation. M is undestandably very scared that something might happen to her because of S's dad and I think it would have been better if I didn't convince M to talk to S.
Sorry if this is confusing, I hope it's still understandable enough to give me some advice and tell me if I am the asshole or not.
Tl;dr I saw my ex-friend's boyfriend kissing another girl, convinced a mutual friend to tell her and my mutual friend ended up fighting with her and got threatened by my ex-friend's dad because of me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
h9TG9dafvEY6hsPUfDFK6dOkWKz05z3J
|
aasjyg
|
{
"description": "saying something that caused a fight",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying something that caused a fight?
|
I really hate that I even have to ask, given how small I thought this was. At this point it has come up multiple times and I just need another perspective on it.
This happened a couple weeks ago.
I'm drinking with my friend Brittany and Drake. We're all having a nice time just sitting and shooting the shit. To give some background, Brittany and Drake dated back in high school. We are now in our senior year of college for context. They are no longer dating, and haven't been for awhile now. Drake is aware that Brittany has since dated other people and are now just friends. They hook up occasionally, but that's the extent of their relationship.
While we're all taking Brittany brings up her friend Kyle. Kyle has been very open about his attraction to Brittany. At one point last year he even mentioned to Drake how he couldn't keep his eyes off of her at a party. At the end of October Kyle kissed Brittany in an attempt to get with her I guess. Brittany tells me about it the next day very casually, not as a secret nor in confidence.
Back to when we're all talking. Brittany brings up our plans for new year's and how we plan to get a hotel and go out to a a nice club. She mentions trying to convince Kyle to come out with us. In response to that I ask "Dude, how has that been since he kissed you?" The room goes silent. As it turns out, not to my knowledge, Kyle and Drake have been best friends since childhood. As you can assume, making a move on a good friend's ex does not bode well with him. They (Brittany and Drake) then start to fight for a good 2 hours over the whole ordeal.
Originally, I felt awful. I really had no intention to start any drama, nor did I know this was some big secret. But now it has gotten to the point where this has been brought up multiple times. It's been brought up how I'm a blabbermouth and don't know when to keep something secret. Now, while I still feel bad, I don't know how I was supposed to inherently know this was a big deal. I was not aware of the connection between Kyle and Drake.
I try to stay out of stuff like this, but I just need to know if I broke some kind social code?? Am I the asshole for bringing that up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
PEjVop1EVHcW1dgROc1Zmabk7bGwUd04
|
b06rs9
|
{
"description": "getting upset at some friends for making a mistake and feeling that they didn't do a good job to make up for it",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for getting upset at some friends for making a mistake and feeling that they didn't do a good job to make up for it?
|
A couple of weekends ago, I went to go visit some friends from a college club. Ever since I graduated and started working last summer, I haven't been able to spend time with this group (most are still in school), so I was really happy to get invited to hang out. Now, I live about an hour and a half away from the university and unfortunately, there was a huge accident on the freeway, so it took over two hours to get there. I was pretty tired and hungry when I go to the house where the get-together/party was being held at, so I asked the hostess (let's call her Kim) about food. She tells me that another guy, Alex (not his real name), is picking up food for everyone at a local restaurant so I should tell him what I want. I tell Alex my order and I continue on with the gathering.
So a while later, Alex comes back to the house with everyone's food and he calls all the guests' names out one-by-one to give them their dinner. I wait patiently...and he never calls my name out. I keep waiting and noticed that every single guest got their food, while I still stood there empty-handed. Maybe I'm being a little over-dramatic, but I felt a little embarrassed and humiliated when nobody else noticed that I had nothing. I ended up going into the house's kitchen to get some water and I see Kim and Alex huddled together and talking. I got up to them say something like "hey, I didn't get my meal. What happened?" Alex looked a little horrified/embarrassed, while Kim apologized and offered to cook me something instead. Now, I guess due to a combination of being really hungry, tired, and frustrated about having a long commute and getting stuck in traffic, I got really upset. To me, it felt that Kim's make-up offer was half-assed and was more or less trying to cover up for Alex's mistake so that way he didn’t have to go back to the restaurant. It didn't feel fair that everyone else got nicer meals (including Kim and Alex), while I was going to end up with something like a cup of noodles or scrambled eggs. Luckily I kept my composure and told them it was fine (even though it really wasn't) and that I didn’t need anything. I was still upset afterwards, so I ended up leaving the house and drove back home without telling anyone. When I got home, I didn't get any messages from them asking where I was, other than a "I hope everyone had a fun time!" message from Kim in our Facebook group chat. It's been nearly two weeks, and nobody in the group has reached out to me, and I'm too upset/embarrassed to reach out to them on my own.
Now, are my feelings valid, or am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
K9LE7506QoMiDnnNrsPw76OvIe8LrkEb
|
am548j
|
{
"description": "calling the cops on my neighbor because their cat was outside",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling the cops on my neighbor because their cat was outside?
|
Came home around 7:30 and I saw my neighbors cat outside wanting to get in. Look outside occasionally and the cat is still outside. I go over and knock on their door three hours later but no one answers. So I call the police to check up on the house to see if they’re alive and everything. Officer comes over and I tell them I’m worried about the cat (since it was 15F) and the owner since no one came to the door. Cop bangs on the door, no answer. The owner eventually comes to the door after a few minutes when he knocked loudly again saying “police.” They come to the door and let the cat in and thank the police officer. So am I the asshole for calling the cops because I was worried about the cat’s life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
7n0OxPgjauaGBUlzcyxjufZAizWyo9V3
|
anhdzk
|
{
"description": "not talking to a friend who always ends up talking to my boyfriends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not talking to a friend who always ends up talking to my boyfriends
|
# update: she just write some weird messages to the ig of my exhusband ,claimin that i lie to him ,of course she do from a fake account, he showed me the screenshots, she literally begin to bullshit me
​
​
I(f26) used to have a friend(f24) for years, I had previously felt somewhat uncomfortable.
I remember living with a boy who was my boyfriend for a short time, I invited her to the house and when I finished with him I realized that they became friends, I didnt give importance to that.
A couple of months ago I divorced my husband(m31) and I realized that the same thing happened, even though she knew the reason why I divorced him (he was unfaithful,cheat on me, and he was very manipulative) I warned her that to be careful since he was going to try to contact or add people that known me to continue stalking
Recently (my fault for snooping) I saw that they became friends by instagram and she liked all her post.
I got upset and bothered, I wrote to her asking her what was going on and she told me that nothing, that I only have to worry about my life, I felt something betrayed because I thought she was my friend.
then she sent me screenshot where she talks with him (so i could see that nothing was happening) and in a part of the conversation she says "you seem to be a very good boy, you dont seem to be what she tells me about you ..." She also send her voice messages
Then, today, in the morning, I wrote to her and told her to dont talk to me anymore, and I blocked her.
# DL:DR : AITA for blockin a friend who always finish talking with people i been
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
yH9bSpXFwESIJNQsNbcC4jgOL9kS36Dx
|
a6jbph
|
{
"description": "turning my brother away in the rain",
"pronormative_score": 118,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for turning my brother away in the rain?
|
Earlier this week my brother asked me to cook him and his girlfriend lunch. In the run up to Christmas I'm always really broke and really busy, so I initially told him I didn't think I could do it, then felt bad, juggled some shit and arranged it with him for today.
We're pretty casual about these things so I phoned him this morning to see if he still wanted lunch. He asked if 6 o'clock was a good time. This is pretty typical of my brother, and sometimes it's more endearing than exasperating, so I said that's fine. I spent the rest of the day cleaning, buying food and preparing dinner. I also asked him by text to please please not be later than 6:30, really spelling out how much effort I'd put into it. At 5:30 he said he was running late - again this is typical and I'd planned my dinner timings around the suspicion he'd be late. I said it was ok but to please not long it out. He lives about half an hour away by public transport and does the journey a lot. I was still feeling laid back.
At half past seven he called with a story about why he was still on the bus. I interrupted him to ask when he'd be here. He shouted "SHUT UP YOU PRICK AND LET ME SPEAK". We don't have the kind of relationship where that's just normal jovial bants. I don't talk to anyone like that and I don't expect anyone to talk to me like that. I don't know if it makes a difference but I'm his older sister. I told him not to speak to me like that and he doubled down. I hung up on him (petty yes, but being shouted at when I'm stirring your sodding cheese sauce is not the one) and told him on text if me cooking dinner for such an inconvenience for him he could find something better to do. I don't want to spend the evening with someone who's happy talking to me like that.
So the situation is this. When this was unfolding he was round the corner from my house. It's been freezing cold and pouring with rain all day (I should know, the supermarket I got the shit from is a 1.5 mile round walk). He was apparently already cold and went, and had to turn back and go home. He gave me a bullshit non-apology ("sorry but you shouldn't have talked over me"). I won't apologise for anything. He is insistent I should. He says turning him away in the cold and wet is worse than calling me a prick. I disagree, but the red mist is still gathered. I'd genuinely like some insight. A peaceful Christmas might depend on it.
(PS. I've got a large roast chicken and several kilos of sweet potato mash and cauliflower cheese sitting untouched. I'm very upset about it. I'm going to portion it out and give it to a place near me that does outreach. Before I do that if anyone in South London is in need please DM me ASAP).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 117,
"EVERYBODY": 11,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 118,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
RIGHT
|
f5wQP9mxFW4ZwIFvkYY2Jq20Tpih3Pef
|
aummo9
|
{
"description": "not paying my plumber",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not paying my plumber?
|
This happened a few years ago but I still worry about if I was an asshole here or not. There had been an influx of new subcontractors in my area due to a booming construction industry in our somewhat small town. One plumber in particular I had become acquainted with was one of these guys. He had come from across the country looking for work 3-4 years earlier and had done a good job from what I could tell. When he found out I was building a house, he begged me to do the plumbing. He told me he would do it for $1,000 cheaper than my best bid. The best bid came back at 12k and true to his word, he agreed to 11k.
​
​
​
Everything seemed to be going fine although we had our typical minor disagreements about certain things. At the end of the job, I paid them and these two guys basically had decided they were moving back home as the economy was tanking nationwide. I go to pull my certificate of occupancy and find out that while the plumbing for the water had been approved, the gas had failed due to a minor issue with an extra emergency shutoff that was required. I called the plumbers and they basically never responded to me. So I called the building inspector and he informed me that another guy was actually the plumber of record for the gas portion of the project. It was a guy I'd never heard, never met, and had never been to my house. I found out that my plumber had a plumbing license but didn't have a license for gas line installation in my state.
​
​
​
So now I'm in a jam. I need to move in in a couple of days and to get them off as the plumber of record and get someone new on who may then have to take responsibility for the work already complete would be nearly impossible and certainly can't happen in time for me to move in. So I called the plumber of record and told him the situation and asked him to come fix the issue. He told me it would be $275 and he'd be there the next day. He asked me if I would pay him and I told him I had already paid the other guys who he pulled the permit for. He said that had nothing to do with him and I would have to pay him. I told him I would.
​
​
​
He fixed the plumbing and got it inspected and then sent me an invoice. At this point,I called him and told him I didn't appreciate him pulling a permit on my house for an unlicensed plumber and that we had two options. First, he could walk away from the $275 and chalk it up as a loss, or I would pay him but only after we had a conversation with the state licensing board about what he had done and why I felt it was inappropriate. He cursed me and hung up and that was the end of it.
​
​
​
The part that I feel bad about is lying to him. I knew I wouldn't pay him but I also was in a tight spot. I had to have him specifically out there to fix it and felt like I had no other options. Anyway, it's been weighing on me for ten years. Am I the asshole?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
JWLFj58zWh7g5A0l5tgGEDn7wvyv1Iuh
|
b5z0pm
| null |
AITA - My boyfriend was lying down while I was unclogging the toilet
|
AITA
Hello people! I usually lurk here, but this Saturday something happened and I really need to know who is right in this situation, as my boyfriend (together 4 years, living together) claims he did nothing wrong and that I’m TA while I think the complete opposite.
So, our toilet clogged, after he had some mild stomach problems. At first, it wasn’t too bad, but by Friday night it wasn’t flushing at all. I tried to unclog it and nothing worked.
The next day, we went to buy another sort of tool (an auger) and while buying it, he seemed already quite annoyed, but got a bit better after some hours. We got home, he tried for one hour to unclog it (while I hovered around and tried to help, by watching videos and trying myself a bit), then I tried for 2 more hours while he urged me to give up.
I have to point out that it’s a 40 m2 apartment, no walls other than toilet, so our bed was literally next to the problem, and we don’t have another bathroom.
I was very tired of not having a toilet working and also a pool of shit next to me, so I asked him if I could call my dad so he could help us. He said ok, but that he wouldn’t help if things went wrong (red flag n1).
My dad arrived and my BF was laying down. My dad greeted him and he kept laying down. My dad started working on the clog and he was laying down.
After 3 hours of work (I was actively helping and cleaning the whole time), it was finally over and the clog was gone (we had to remove it to access the problem, and it was all QUITE disgusting), and my dad took a shower and asked for a pair of shorts, as his were dirty of shit... that didn’t go very well with BF, because “he came unprepared”, but relented.
My dad went home very angry at my boyfriend, as he literally didn’t do anything, and so were I.
My BF’s reasoning: I should be grateful that he let my dad fix the toilet. That it wasn’t such a big deal or urgent at all. That the best he could do was to do nothing, because he disagreed with the way my dad was fixing it.
I’m completely baffled. To me, when someone does you a favor (as fixing a toilet full of shit), you should be grateful. But apparently I don’t have real world standards according to him. My dad doesn’t want to speak to him anymore, and I can’t blame him actually.
So, Reddit, AITA?
(Btw, I’m not only looking for validation, because I’d like to know what makes one think like he does and if I’m actually so delusional to expect common curtesy from my BF).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 53,
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
EzhCiNDOH1aSfMoq9VXPO1nqhmZNoKR7
|
b0alxq
| null |
AITA Socially anxious autistic helping persistent old women across a road
|
This has hung on my mind because after rethinking the situation on my way to collage, i did kinda leave her in the dust and I feel really bad, since she seemed like a lonely person, I'd understand if I was an asshole.
While I was waiting on a bus to collage, an old women with a cane came up behind me and asked me to help her across the road. I took off my headphones and pointed out there was a green light not fair from the bus stop that would stop traffic for her, but she insisted on and on that I must walk her across.
I agreed after my directions were rejected (and people were staring at this point) and I stood with her ready to be hold the traffic a bit and walk her across to a gambling place on the other side. She stops me and says 'You need to hold my hand! Hold my hand!". I'm an autistic person who is really really uncomfortable with physical contact, ESPECIALLY with people I have just met, (I hate giving handshakes and hugs to people I greet) so this made me more anxious than I already was. I shake my head and I'm stammering a little, I can't get my words out to explain to her why not. She keeps insisting, so I pull my sleeve over my hand to to hold her hand (which does seem like a dick move but I was panicking at the moment) She tried to pull my sleeve up to hold my hand properly and she kept telling me she needs to hold my hand. I quickly blurt out that I was uncomfortable with that and I stood my ground with keeping my sleeve like that. She said "What??" After I blurted it out but I don't tell her again because I was too nervous, thinking it would hurt her and I wanted to avoid that conflict, so I just turn my head checking the road.
I start leading her across slowly with my covered hand holding hers, waving sheepishly to drivers that stopped as a 'thank you'. Half way through, my bus had pulled up behind me and was taking on passengers thankfully, so I started hurrying a bit. As soon as she makes it onto the path, I quickly go "I'm sorry, I can't hang around, my bus is here," and I run back out into the road to get to my bus.
I probably acted badly to this since I was panicking internally, so like I said, I wouldn't be surprised if I was the asshole, I just want others opinions...!
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
pCd8xuWjsWEfUb3h9CS1wnZOXNzLz0Oq
|
aqr0f7
|
{
"description": "not cheering, or really caring, that a wheelchair-bound student athlete competed against physically able runners",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not cheering, or really caring, that a wheelchair-bound student athlete competed against physically able runners/
|
It was a 100m dash in a regular team event (not special or handi-capable or whatever), with seven running-runners and one in a wheelchair.
Everyone cheered and applauded for that student in particular, but I thought it was saccharine and phony.
AITA?
(Note: I'm disabled, myself, though not in a wheelchair)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
yRNjT4kDYyAofrlBcUt3cfAwiCmOszTD
|
b9ulv7
|
{
"description": "reporting my roommate for having her boyfriend stay over every single night ? lengthy post but really need to hear other people's opinions",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if I report my roommate for having her boyfriend stay over every single night ? Lengthy post but really need to hear other people’s opinions.
|
I (19f) live in a tiny 3 bedroom apartment with 2 other girls (both 20). In October 2018 one of my room mates, we will call her Kayla, reported me to the manager of our apartment complex for having my boyfriend at the time sleep over almost every single night. This really infuriated me at the time because my ex and I never bothered her/were excessively loud and we mostly stayed in my room. In fact, she frequently came into my room and hung out with both of us.
Kayla and I were really good friends and personally I would never do something like that to one of my friends. Upon talking to management I learned that I was violating the lease by having a guest stay so many consecutive nights and the fine for that was $500 and Kayla knew about the fine when she reported me. I just felt like she could’ve talked to me before doing something so drastic. And I questioned for a long time whether I want to be friends with someone that would do something like this. I found it to be petty and highly dramatic considering we are all friends and my ex and I never bothered her.
Fast forward to now, my ex and I have been broken up since January so the tension surrounding him being at our place so much was gone. Kayla and I have both been putting in effort to be better friends to one another and we had been getting a long fairly (we’ve butted heads many times in the past). Also noteworthy, Kayla now works at the apartment complex office.
About a month ago she got out of a long-distance relationship and began fucking our downstairs neighbor. He has stayed at our place quite literally every single night since they met except for the occasion where they sleep at his place.
This sort of fuels me with rage because 1) she reported me and could’ve gotten me a $ 500 fine 2) her jobs partially consists of enforcing rules such as the guest limit 3) after she reported me we were on the outs for months 4) she barely knows this guy, my guy and I had been dating for a year. He stays all day and all night. Not just sleeping up with her. Also want to note that she has started treating me like chopped liver since he came around.
Im really really tempted to report her to the office the same way she reported me with no warning. I would kind of feel guilty if it affected her job but at the same she sort of deserves a taste of her own medicine in my eyes.
AITA if I report her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 27,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dMsD45GEzxKVpi4PtxYixhsYVvvtgciT
|
9xnfa3
|
{
"description": "smoking on a gifted couch",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for smoking on a gifted couch?
|
So, one of my friends, gifted us some couches for our garage, where hang out, and smoke(weed only). Before we had couches, there’s a corner of the garage, with some chairs, where we would smoke.
So my friend who gave us the couches, he had a friend who had to go back home, they’re both from Oman. So he was given the couches, and since he didn’t have a use for them, gave it to our house, to use in the garage. We offered money, he said no, however asked us not to smoke on it. I thought it was a weird request as it was less than 10 feet from where we smoke. For a few weeks, we honor his request, however eventually we end up smoking on the couches.
Last night, he confronted me, after seeing the bong and weed next to the couches. He asked if I have been smoking on the couches, and I said yes. He asked again not to do that, and seemed disappointed. AITA for smoking on the couch?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b18npf
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{
"description": "kicking my friend out of my house when he was drunk",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for kicking my friend out of my house when he was drunk?
|
I had a close friend live with me over the summer (verbally agreed for 3 months). He didn’t pay rent but he brought food over nearly every day from his parents’ restaurant where he worked, and donated a 100 dollars for groceries one month. He always enjoyed the party scene and was a bit of a slob to be honest, (I live in a small one room so mess is very noticeable) but I didn’t say anything as he is a close friend.
One night he came home extremely intoxicated from a party, and he proceeded to throw things around in my house, including a water bottle which hit the ceiling and spilled everywhere. When I asked him to clean it, he simply ignored me and rolled over on the floor to sleep. At that point, in anger and frustration I packed all his things and asked him to leave the morning, but he instead left the night of in his intoxicated state. I did not beg him to stay. When he came to the next morning, he voiced his displeasure with me through text, saying that I should’ve prevented him from leaving no matter what as he could’ve died as he was intoxicated.
AITA for not pleading him to stay with me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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aqiqec
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{
"description": "wanting my roommate to buy me new vegetables",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my roommate to buy me new vegetables?
|
Posting this before going to bed, so will answer any replies in the morning.
So for the last three or so days my roommate has been coming down with what seems to be the flu. He’s been parked in the living room on the couch in nothing but sweat pants the entire time (which I’m not really fond of as I feel like he should be trying to keep to himself in his room and I’m currently getting sick now as well) and has been “cooling off” by using my bags of steamable frozen vegetables on his bare hairy chest.
He isn’t wrapping them in anything and tends to leave them out for a couple hours at a time so they’re constantly being thawed and frozen over and over again. On top of that, he literally rubs the bag all over his chest in what seems an attempt to mop up the sweat.
Now I understand I’m somewhat of a germaphobe, but I feel like this is rather sickening and that my food should be replaced. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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ax0m8d
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{
"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend for finishing the last of my ice cream",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for finishing the last of my ice cream?
|
My boyfriend and I became roommates 7 months ago back when we were still just friends. We have been dating for the last 3 months. Over the months, he has continuously finished my food without asking. I have brought it up multiple times because it bothered me and I asked him to stop. We grocery shop together and split the bill based on who buys what and we split the cost of the food we'll share in half. It's not exact, but it mostly evens out and this problem really is not about money. I don't mind sharing food nor do I mind giving him the last bite. I just hate to come home excited to eat my snack, and unable to find it in the cabinet, I as my boyfriend if he's seen it to which he replies, "oh yeah, i ate that."
​
The other day we were high and I was looking for the perfect high snack in the kitchen when my boyfriend laughed and said, "you are going to be really mad at me right now." I'm confused. I look around for a bit and then I see the now empty box of my Snickers Ice Cream Bars peeking out of the trash. My heart sinks. I bought this box of ice cream. He can have some. He did have a bar a few days ago, but he asked me before because we both know it's considered mine. I went on for five minutes in the grocery store before buying this ice cream that it is AMAZING and I haven't bought myself a box in years. My boyfriend claims I should not be upset that he finished it because he really needed that ice cream and it brought him joy to eat it and I should be happy for him. It's selfish of me not to let him have it. He would let me eat his last ice cream. He also says he will buy me the next box. He thinks I'm over reacting with how mad I am, all he did was finish some ice cream. To me, it isn't about the money or having a box in the future, it was the fact that I could have had the perfect snack at that moment, but that opportunity was ripped away from me. I'm not mad he had some ice cream, I'm mad he finished it, and I'm even more upset that I did not even know it was finished. I still had the hope of eating an ice cream bar in my mind. I thought it was in the freezer, waiting for me. Instead, all there was was an empty box in the trash and an intense feeling of disappointment.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
9tvqa4
|
{
"description": "not wanting my dad to walk me down the aisle",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting my dad to walk me down the aisle?
|
My dad has, on occasion, expressed excitement about me getting married in the distant future. He wants to “give his little girl away” and it’s a big deal for him, as I’m the only daughter he has. However, I am sure that I do not want him to walk me down the aisle for a number of reasons, and I’ve felt this way for about a decade now.
1. I find the whole process of “giving away the bride” old fashioned and sexist. I’m a grown woman making decisions for myself, financially independent and my dad (or anyone else in my life) has no say in whether or not I get married.
2. My dad is an okay father, but a shit husband.
He’s not winning any awards for father of the year, but not abusive or an alcoholic or particularly negligent. However, he’s a terrible husband who spent most of his marriage to my mother being a cheating, narcissist piece of shit and only in the past 5-6 years has turned it around. For 13 years, he had no respect for his wedding vows and has cheated on every woman he’s ever been with. When I found out about his cheating in high school and told him to fess up to my mother, he chickened out and I had to do it myself. It was devastating for me to be dragged into his bullshit like that, and fundamentally changed the way that I see him. I was really close to my dad growing up, so realizing that he was capable of being so awful cut me pretty deep.
Part of this is about punishing him for what he did to my mother, and to me. Who forces a 16 year old to tell her mother that her father is having an affair? But a bigger, more important part is that I don’t want a guy who is incapable of staying faithful having any part of me committing to being faithful for the rest of my life. He obviously doesn’t respect marriage, so who do I have to act like he did?
Anyway, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
aumsrx
|
{
"description": "getting my girlfriend in trouble from her curfew",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting my girlfriend in trouble from her curfew?
|
Background. I've been seeing this girl for a few months now, gone on a few dates and never had an issue with how late she's gotten home. Her parents are pretty strict and don't like me so they gave her a curfew to be home, roughly around 9. Of course I know this because I have strict parents myself but they seem to trust me with her. We went on a date last night because I wanted to try and move forward in our relationship so this was my only plan to. I didn't expect us to spend so much time at the beach until her parents started calling her, we both didn't know we had lost track of time and it was almost 9 already. I felt terrible because I felt like I forced her to go on this date with me and stay longer because of it. And to make matters worse when she got home, her parents told her to stay away from me because they say I'm trouble and that she can't go out anymore and she was just crying. She feels like this is her fault because of her curfew and that she can't go out all the time and she's scared that I'll leave her because of it. I'm in a hole now because I feel like I not only ruined her social life but the entire relationship now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
m5B88ccJyBF2w2wmejLbYf1dRJMd8seI
|
9y5x9h
|
{
"description": "spending time with my best friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for spending time with my best friend’s ex?
|
I recently moved to a new city and don’t know anyone here except for my best friend’s ex who also moved at the same time. (Lets call bf A and ex O). I’ve met up with the ex O a few times as we are both the only people we already knew in the city. I’d like to cultivate the friendship with O but AITA for not being a loyal friend to A?
I didn’t know either of them very well before they broke up. They had a messy break up that I don’t know the details of except A will no longer talk to O, hates her and does her upmost to avoid O. I only became good friends with A after all this happened. Now I’m feeling a bit guilty for being friends with O and not sure whether I should continue meeting up with O and risk my friendship with A. However there are other friends that manage to be friends to both A and O but they were friends before the breakup so situation is a bit different.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
9xvk7x
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{
"description": "being mad at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my friend?
|
So we're all in our mid to late 20s. My buddy and his family are very wealthy where as I live paycheck to paycheck. We will hang out at his place with no plans to go out to eat but somehow we will be running an errand and end up at a restaurant because his wife or sister are hungry. He used to pay for all of us to go and eat because I've talked to him about my situation before but I feel like his wife told him to not pay for me anymore because all of a sudden when the bill comes, he goes up and pays for it and comes back with a separate bill for myself.
Like I understand that we're all adults and I should pay my way for things but I had no input on the restaurant that we went to, they were driving so it's not like I could have just left. Also when we sat down at the table, I wasn't really going to eat because I had just paid a bunch of bills. My buddy told me to just order something so I'm thinking "oh hey free meal?"
Idk what to do, this just happened yesterday so I just made an excuse to be dropped off and haven't spoken to them about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b7e2vi
|
{
"description": "quitting my job",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for quitting my job?
|
I took Job 1 because it paid a lot better than Job 2 and I didn't know what I wanted to do in life, even though I love Job 2 and everyone there and ended up staying there with one shift a week just because.
When I got hired at Job 1, I was told it was an amazing company and I'd be hired part-time as a trial, but get 40 hours right away and get full-time classification with benefits after 90 days. 90 days comes around and as it turns out, Job 2's corporate policy is they only give FTC 2 times a year, and you have to have worked there for 6 months to get it. With my hire date, it'd be 9 months before I got FTC. If I'd been told that in the interview I wouldn't have cared, but my boss is claiming ignorance (which I don't believe because they've worked here for years).
Couple more months, corporate does more things to make me hate the company. Then, I decide I want to go to grad school. My intended field is very competitive and I would need to do extra things this summer in order to get my application up to par. I ask my boss if I can drop down to 4 days a week. They get very evasive. Multiple conversations and I have no hope they'll give me the flexibility I'll need.
Meanwhile, at Job 1, we've all gotten pay raises and a new program that allows us to earn commission for the first time ever. I've also been told there's a promotion if I want it. I know they'll be flexible with me so I decide to quit Job 2.
Both jobs do schedules 3 weeks out. With how the weeks lined up and because I'm nice, I ended up giving about 3 1/2 weeks notice. Told Job 2 it's because I hate the job (I'm bored to tears every day) and the company, saying nothing about my boss to avoid drama. Boss freaks anyway, calls me selfish because "I know I'm the best and the only other person with my availability shouldn't even have this job". Am I the asshole for wanting to work a job I like?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b47upj
|
{
"description": "asking for my loaned money back",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for asking for my loaned money back?
|
When I met my husband he owned his own small contracting business and was making $4,500/mo for his takehome. I was and still am unemployed, but I get a trust fund stipend every month for $3,000. I think it was about a year into our relationship that his company started to lose traction and he decided to sell his projects and go to college. He had enough saved up for a little while. Sometime in his second year he fell on hard times so I started carrying the brunt of our expenses. Any time we did groceries or had a night out, I kept tally of half because he would then owe me. He focused on paying rent and I took care of groceries and expenses like that.
It's five years later. We're married, have a house, a beautiful son. We're both very comfortable. But over the years he's accrued about $2,000 of money he owes me for doing groceries, etc during his rough patch. I told him I wanted to "cash in" the other day and he looked at me like I was an alien. He said our finances are shared so there's no point. He thanked me for helping him out back then and he feels we're better because of it, but that's money I've spent, money now I won't get back.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
ZgIZ3oJPXm7Bty6lvCJKKI5bGj9pfJCU
|
b87nyh
|
{
"description": "not liking my foster dog",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not liking my foster dog?
|
Recently I have agreed to take care of a dog that was abandoned by her previous owners for unknown reasons. She's still pretty young, barely above a year old, displaying puppy-like behaviours.
She's very cute looking, she has those eyes like that cat from Shrek - you just can't refuse her anything when she looks at you with them. She makes a fantastic impression on anyone who meets her and usual reaction is "oh, she's so sweet, what a lovely dog".
The only thing is, she's not.
She's a huge attention seeker - whenever you're in the house, she'll keep following you like a lost puppy (maybe cuz she is one) and she constantly wants to be peted. But when you leave the house, she becomes an unstoppable destructive force with one objective - to ruin your entire apartment.
Okay - when I agreed to take her, no one warned she's like that. But I took into consideration that foster dogs are not a fairy tale and that she might be problematic. I took her 1,5 month ago and since then, she already costed me over 2,5k euro (she destroyed the tv, my clothes, some of the furniture, headphones and some other less valuable of my stuff). I was furious when I found out that she destroyed the TV, but I never vented out on her.
I understand that she's not doing this on purpose and most likely it's separation anxiety, but all those events made simply not like her. When I look at her, I don't see an adorable dog, I see someone who ruined tons of my stuff. I really, really don't like her.
Now don't get me wrong - I'm not abusing her or anything. I still take care of her and I'm giving her attention, although it's forced from my side - I don't want to give her back until she'll find a permanent home. Despite the fact that I'm caring for her as much as I can (I recently taught her how to give paw and how to sit), people still call me an asshole or an idiot when I'm telling them that I don't like her due to the fact that she's not my dog and never will be and that she destroyed lots of my stuff. I'm not forced to like a dog - I still take care of her and make sure that she has everything she needs and I'm doing my best to correct her behaviour, but that doesn't mean I have any positive feelings about her.
Yet people still call me an asshole for that - am I really one for not liking someone who devastated my place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 4,
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|
AUTHOR
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
FYEqJgQYODuIvEA2h92cLhXmaKy0sfwY
|
afvqlc
|
{
"description": "being upset at my friend for dating my ex",
"pronormative_score": 46,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for being upset at my friend for dating my ex
|
A year ago we broke up. She moved out of my place. I had a buddy of mine over the day she did it so I had some support when she left. When she left she back right into his car and damaged the bumper. A year later he finally contacts her to get it fixed. Apparently they started to hangout after. Yesterday he messaged me to inform me that they are going on a date in a few days. I replied back that I respected him for telling me that and that I will be taking a step back from being his friend. I wished him luck with her and stop replying.
My friend and I have talked, gamed, gotten drinks throughout the year. He knows I still have feelings for her but nonetheless he is taking her out. Am I the ass hole for being upset with my friend and wanting to distance myself from him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 18,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
91S9pNdyPaTSgRifvW01vxUDyCk1G1lQ
|
amw80g
|
{
"description": "cooking for myself",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cooking for myself
|
I live with two roommates. Because of my schedule and training, I often eat at unusual times and thus cook for myself (I would ask them if they want some as well, but I know the answer from experience). Recently they and another common friend got mad about it saying I was being wasteful and egoistic. The thing is, I pay for 90% of the food because I don't want to eat the crap they would buy (canned vegetables/packaged meat) and I want to eat in a way that doesn't affect my training and schedule negatively (no food 2h before training and eating within 1 hour after training). I know one of them is quite the environmentalist, but I really don't care about his politics when it comes to my personal life. Besides, we'd just cook more together, essentially using the same amount of resources except for the electricity for the stove. AITA for living my own life?
​
In case anyone comes here from my last post and wonders, I thought it would be interesting to make this a separate topic and see how the environmental argument would affect the result.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
NLmwHq6C6sqGwAddyIR7BTBWJuZSIwrG
|
auc2gx
|
{
"description": "inviting my ex-wife to my birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for inviting my ex-wife to my birthday party?
|
My ex-wife and I mostly get along ok. We split custody and after a mess at the beginning we both decided to be really strict about sticking to who has Ely and when. It just keeps the peace.
This year my birthday comes up on one of her weeks. I really can’t imagine not spending it without him, he’s the most important person in the world to me.
I literally decided to throw a birthday party for the sole purpose of being able to invite them and get to spend some time with him on my birthday without it being awkward . That was the reason for it.
I went ahead with some of the plans for it and really didn’t think it would be a big deal, but my gf is furious. I didn’t tell her that this whole party was just an excuse to spend time with my son on a day that’s not mine.
She’s acting so aggressive about the whole thing. She wants me to disinvite the ex even though it means that Ely won’t be able to come. She accused me of wanting to get back together with the ex. She also said that I was just using her to make ex jealous which is ridiculous. Her whole attitude could maybe be understandable if we were newly dating, but we’ve been together for over a year. She doesn’t like ex at all. But to say “aw well” when I said that Ely won’t be able to come is really bugging me about her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
e7GHXERT0bFhKYmw5S8yM5ljc41ENjZj
|
ba069l
|
{
"description": "yelling at my dad over a unwashed plate",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for yelling at my dad over a unwashed plate
|
Sorry about bad formatting I’m on mobile. This is an alt account as they know about my main.
This just happened a week ago and I’m still mad about it.
So I am an 18 year old(in grade 12) and have an older brother use and a younger sister. My dad is lazy. He’s been unemployed for five years and doesn’t both to find work or clean up his mess, saying I should do it. He also shows heavy favouritism towards my sister, to the point that me and my brother were feeling neglected ( my mom lived with me but was at work 7 days a week from 5am-midnight). My dad would constantly insult us.He’s the type of guy to drive my sister to the US (we live in Canada) to go to the mall but could take me to homecoming, that is 15mins away because he was “busy” (sleeping on the couch). He would also complain about tiny things, such as how my room was dirty because there was a tuft of red hair in a corner I was already trying to clean up. When I tried to explain that I was going to clean it and that it was be sisters (it was long and red and I have short black hair) he yelled at me for suggesting it could be hers (she is the only one in the family with red hair).
Before I start, I have to say that I failed chemistry and had to retake it at night school (important later)
One day my mom came home early. I don’t really know what happened as i was at night school,but she got mad at him about leaving his plate in the sink. When I came back from night school.He tried blaming me for leaving his dish in the sink and I tried to explain to him that I couldn’t have washed his plate as I was at night school. He yelled at me calling me an idiot and a cunt who couldn’t do the simplest thing. It was then I lost it. I yelled back calling him a fat lazy fuck that does nothing at all and told him if it wasn’t for my mom he would be homeless. I also told him he’s the reason why my brother left the house at the first chance he got(which was true). My day threw his sandal at me and wanted to hit me, but my mom intervened. I left after that, didn’t go to my room but left the house. I went to my brother’s house(about a 40 min walk away) and decided that I will stay there for the meanwhile.
It has been about a week since then and I’m still at my brother’s house. My dad called me once demanding me to apologize. I refused. My mom also called telling me that she understood where I came from, but that it was uncalled for. My brother had to go back to the house to get my backpack for school and he told me that my dad exclaimed as he was leaving “Thank god that there are no more dumb fucks in my home”
I talked to my friends about the situation. They said that they would have reacted the same way I did. So I’m wondering Am I really the Asshole here.
TL;DR : Dad get mad at me not washing his plate even though it was impossible and get mad. I called him a fat fuck and leave the house
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
a7d121
|
{
"description": "not taking the food I ordered and leaving this nasty review after they refused to give me all of it",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not taking the food I ordered and leaving this nasty review after they refused to give me all of it?
|
Their website kept refusing my coupon for free lava cakes with a medium or large pizza and made me buy a large to get the coupon to work, so I called in. This review I left summarizes my experience perfectly (I didn’t pay beforehand). This is exactly what happened below and the review I left
Worst experience ever. Never order here, you won’t get your food. It started with me putting in an order for carry-out and having my coupon not work, saying I needed to order a large pizza even though the paper coupon I was sent stated I could order a medium or large. I called to place my order, where they tried to overcharge me $3 on the pizza, and I had to point out their bullsh#t. After, as I was told that my coupon went through and my order was placed (Thank god I didn’t give them my card there) and went to the store. I was then told to show them my coupon, when I was told it went through. I gave them the coupon number and home address, but the guy at the counter was like a broken record and wouldn’t stop saying the same thing over and over, “you have to have your coupon” He sounded like he was drunk, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was. I continued to state the address and he wouldn’t listen or give my food, I refused to pay until I got all my food, my order sitting right there and card in hand. Idiot on counter still repeating the same thing over and over. I then stormed off and left without giving these idiots a dime. I will never ever order here again, and will be telling everyone I know this shi#ty experience. And I know quite a few people. I left still hungry, and my sister was crying when I got home. Fu#k this place and the idiots who wouldn’t give me my food.
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AITA all i want is my cat back am i the asshole??
|
Context: My father passed away, and it was just me and him, no other siblings, no mother, heart breaking. 11months later me and my gf decided to take a trip across the USA for a month so I’m not home depressed as it had been coming up to a year since I lost my dad.
Anyway, I've had a cat since I was 5, I’m now 23. So he’s rather old, and cannot be left alone for that length of time. So my auntie offered to look after him for me, which didn’t sound too bad, as we had become closer as a family since my dad died. So I went off with my gf and had the adventure of a lifetime east to west coast.
So I get back in late September and asked if I could get my pet of 18 years back. My aunt said he needs a week with her before he comes back to a house where I’m working all the time and am not in for 12 hours a day. Thinking she’s lonely, I said that she could look after him for a week, as this allows me to buy food and litter for him. A week passes and suddenly my auntie phones, saying that she needs him in the house because he’s such a nice cat. I said I know but he's the last living part of my dad I have. My cat actually was the only thing I had to keep me focused and not doing something stupid. My auntie tried to guilt me in to letting her keep him, and I said that my grandparents are going to collect him from you (as I cannot drive and they live a 2 hour drive away).
The next day my grandparents arrive at my aunties and nobody was in the house. So knowing that he was getting picked up she didn’t answer the door. My grandparents told me that nobody was home, so they feel like my auntie wasted their time. A week passes of me trying to call her and get my pet back.... nothing. Suddenly I get a message "You don’t deserve socks back, how dare you neglected and abuse him to such a degree where it took me weeks to make him come out of his shell and approach her ". I informed her that he’s an 18 year old cat taken away from his home of 18 years and hasn’t lived with anyone in that time for more than a week or 2. So 6 weeks without his owner, after losing my dad his primary owner, of course he’s going to be scared and hide form people. Refusing to accept any other reason my auntie responded with "You’re a horrible excuse for a man, and you don’t deserve to have him back".
I started looking in to legal action, but there wasn’t a lot which could be done. Long story short I had him back since November, 2 months after I was meant to get him back. Now I don’t talk to my auntie, uncle or cousins because of the horrible things that was said to me. No apologies as of yet but I did get an invite to my cousins wedding, but my gf, whom I've been with 2 years and lived with since October, wasn’t invites (kind of petty).
Lesson learnt. You can choose your friends but you cannot change your family, but you can ignore them. No skin off my nose.
TL;DR: Am I the asshole for wanting my own cat back?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "having my sister visit",
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"contranormative_score": 0
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AITA for having my sister visit?
|
So Am I the asshole? Because when my roommate's sister came back from overseas she found herself pregnant. I agreed that I will keep quiet about it. But I guess I didn't realize it signed me up for not having my family around me. Mind you my family is three hours away, and my sister is wanting to come stay with me for a few days. Well I told her sure I guess and now the sisters are frantically trying to hide. Freaking out because my sister is coming in the middle of the day and not at the end of the day so they dont have time to plan.
Here is my thoughts. I have no one other than the 2 sisters as friends. I work and then try to help with the one sister with her job. But ever since the sister came back from overseas, I am not an option anymore. She and the oversea sister obviously go together with life things and here I am still feeling like an outcast. Am I jealous? Probably. But now I am super sad and angry because I miss my sister pretty bad and I feel like I need to tell her to stay home. So...am I the asshole who doesn't want to call her sister?
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{
"description": "asking a tennis player to learn with the Coach before playing with us",
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AITA for asking a tennis player to learn with the Coach before playing with us
|
Earlier today me and a few friends were playing tennis on our schools tennis team. When one of our friends who decided that day he was going to join tennis team. He had no expressed interest in any sport before hand so we encouraged him to try it out. He came to play and we we're playing a full game of tennis. He asked to join but he was clearly in need to learn the basics of how to play.
We offered to try to teach him with us, and we tried but we failed to teach him. He seemed to just simply not understand what was going on so we decided to tell him he should play with the coach and learn the basics of the game with other people at his level. He seemed quite disappointed and kinda moping around doing nothing for the rest of the hour. I know that he kinda wanted to be with us but it is also a school sport that is competitive and I believe that he was just joining to hang out with a few other friends that were in tennis. Was he just being childish because he didn't want to actually be there for tennis or are we assholes for excluding him.
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"description": "asking a woman when the baby was due when she wasn't actually pregnant",
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AITA for asking a woman when the baby was due when she wasn’t actually pregnant?
|
So I’m on the train. Normal morning commute to work. Luckily it’s not as crowded as normal so I get a seat and an empty seat next to me. At the next stop a woman gets on and sits next to me. It seemed to me like she was struggling to sit in a comfortable way and she her stomach was very round and protruding out of her dress. (It was some kind of form-hugging sweater dress so it was fairly noticeable).
I also should point out that I am 7 months pregnant myself! I thought we had something in common so I smiled at her and said “when are you due?” She then furrows her eyebrows at me and goes “Pardon me?”
That’s when I thought maybe she took offense because she doesn’t know me so I was like “oh sorry it’s none of my business.”
That’s when she narrowed her eyes and said in a snappy way “I’m not pregnant.” Obviously I’m mortified but I kind of froze up and didn’t know what to say so I think I just said “oh”.
She then gets up and walks to the whole other side of the train even though that meant she had to stand until we got to her stop. So clearly my comment really bothered her :/
I am obviously embarrassed now by the whole thing. But I truly didn’t have any ill intent.
(I actually texted my husband about this whole situation when I got to work. But his reaction to stuff like this is generally just to make jokes to make me feel better which isn’t always super helpful...)
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{
"description": "getting Annoyed my neighbour for Multiple Problems such as being forced to take his delivery and Deal with bad airbnb guests",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA For Getting Annoyed My Neighbour For Multiple Problems Such As Being Forced To Take His Delivery and Deal With Bad AirBnB Guests
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I have been living in a small apartment for quite some time now close to 17 years with my parents. The apartment is made up of only two flats. One of which I live in. The second flat was empty for the first 10 years, however, someone moved in. He was quite nice for the first few years, very supportive but after a while he changed.
He moved out of the house and moved somewhere else nearby but as he still owned the flat he started renting it out on AirBnB and this is where all the problems began. People that we didnt know started entering the building and as we lived in a very poor community where theft rates are high this makes us very uncomfortable in our own homes. To make matters even worse, sometimes he would forget to specify which flat is his and we would have Airbnb guests poking our keyhole with their key at times like 3 in the morning. The guests can also be very inconsiderate as they slam doors shut, walk up the stairs loudly at midnight, they sometimes come home drunk stumbling in the apartment. I just think that as the host that he should make it clear to people that they shouldnt be coming to the apartment so late in the night and even if they are they should at least be considerate and make as little noise as possible. Not to mention they also turn on the apartment lights when its still bright outside and their is sunshine coming into the apartment. You may think this isnt a problem, however, my family is the one who pays for all of the electricity bills in the apartment except for the flat. When I asked him to split the electricity of the apartment complex (again not including the flats just the hall and the stairways) he refuses to do so and as a working class family this a massive burden. I have the urge to just take out the light bulbs but obviously he wouldnt be happy about that as it would "drop his airbnb rating." When I put up a sign next to the door way saying please close the door slowly, he takes it off, types it out in a tiny size and puts it back as if anybody will notice it
Another problem I have is that he sends his Amazon orders to my apartment despite himself not living their and thhs this means thag I constantly have to sign his packages for him. And its not something that happens once every blue moon. No, this guy has stuff coming in almost every single day. I dont get why he cant just send it to the apartment he currently lives instead of sending it to the one he rents out.
So I had a talk with him this morning and he quickly became very hostile, immediatley replying with shut up. When I asked him to not send the packages here or atleast be here when they arrive, he responded saying that we were not being good neighbours for not taking his package and that he is getting annoyed by the fact that I tell the delivery man to just leave it at the post office. I also requested if he could let the guests know to be quiet and considerate he said that we were the loud ones and that he was disturbed by our arguments. We do have arguments at our home but its as with any other family, where its small and not frequent. He then proceded to say that he would write a letter to the council complaining about us. When I broight up the fact that yesterday, a minicab caming ringing the bell at two in the morning to pick up AirBnB guests he simply said "What can I do" So what do you think?
TLDR: I have a neighbour who rents out his apartment to AirBnB guests. The guests are very inconsiderate and loud. He also sends his packages to our apartment although he lives somewhere else and we have to pick up the packages for him. When I confront him he becomes hostile and threatened to write a letter to council complaining about our family
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{
"description": "refusing to give my ex his sweatshirt back",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
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WIBTA for refusing to give my ex his sweatshirt back?
|
2 years ago, I was in high school and dated a guy we’ll call F. It happened as a result of us being in the same friend group and was never very serious. I broke up with him after a month because he was manipulative and tried to get me to choose him over my friends. Towards the end of our relationship, F wanted me to wear one of his sweatshirts to support him since he had a soccer game that day. No problem. He told me I could give it back whenever. We ended up breaking up shortly after, and the sweatshirt was the last thing on either of our minds. For 3 months after the breakup, he stalked me. He would show up to restaurants I was at and outside of my house at night and he would look through my windows and text me about it. So I figured the safest thing to do was no contact and blocked him on every platform. He would keep finding new ones to contact me on, and I would keep blocking him. He even had his little sister try to add me on SnapChat and would keep changing his profile pictures to old pictures of us to try to get me to talk to him. I kept with no contact, and things died down. 2 years later, F has made a new Instagram and messaged me to ask for his sweatshirt back. I don’t want to give it to him. I don’t want it. I don’t wear it. It’s not about the sweatshirt. It’s about the idea of having to see him again. We don’t have any mutual friends who could bring it to him. I feel stuck. I don’t want to be the bad guy and keep something that he cares about and is rightfully his, but I really don’t want to get involved with him again in any way. AITA?
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{
"description": "still wanting to go see friends when my wife has broken her hand",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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}
|
AITA for still wanting to go see friends when my wife has broken her hand?
|
My wife tripped this morning and broke her hand. I drove her to the ER, sat with her for a while, then went and stocked up on microwave food and soda for when she would come home. And then I relocated our dog to her sister's place since I am going to have to work late because of the wasted morning and tomorrow I'll be busy all day at work.
The thing is, I have been planning for about 2 months to travel 300 km south to my hometown to see friends tomorrow evening and staying there for a couple of nights. I see them maybe 5 times per year and don't have any really close friends where I live (moved because of my wife).
I was really looking forward to this, but now my wife is negative towards it and that I prefer partying with friends over her. I just need some relief.
IATA? Probably.
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{
"description": "making the pizza delivery guys come up the stairs to my door",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For making the pizza delivery guys come up the stairs to my door?
|
I order from a nearby chain pizzeria pretty often. A bit about where I live:
​
My apartment is a "standalone" apartment on a street corner i.e. not part of an apartment complex, on the second floor above a store. There's a small outside staircase on the side street, about 10-12 steps. This staircase leads you up to a porch where my apartment is. The street I live on is busy for sure but the side street, where the stairs are located, is not particularly busy and theres usually parking. Even if there's no parking there isn't a lot of traffic so it's never a big deal to double park with the flashers on.
​
Every time I order pizza from this place the driver always calls to say they're here, and I tell them great, look out for the wooden stairs and come on up. Every time, without fail, even if it's a driver who has delivered to me countless times, they ask if I can come down instead. I always tell them I'm not really dressed for outside or something similar and they'll have to come up. To which they begrudgingly hang up and come up.
​
I think I tip reasonably well (usually $3-5 or so on a \~$15 check) so it's not like I'm asking them to do this and then leaving them pocket change for a tip. But I don't even think the tip is relevant, I kind of assumed their job is to bring my order to my door. But they definitely do a good job of making me feel like a huge asshole every time they come. Like, I'm not asking anyone to come up a 5th floor walkup, it takes the better part of 15 seconds to come up the stairs to my door.
​
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "naming our group \"lonely bitch\" and then making all members leave except one",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
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AITA for naming our group "lonely bitch" and then making all members leave except one?
|
This happened last Wednesday, we are 6 best friends (me and 5 others), one of them, let's call him (Z), didn't even wave when he saw us sitting together, and continued talking to a group of girls he was already sitting with, so we thought as a comeback, we'll just do a harmless joke(my idea), so we named our WhatsApp group "lonely bitch" then left, he tried calling later that day but we ignored him.
Next day, prank's over, we tried calling him to let him know that we are going Sushi later that week, but he didn't answer any of our calls or texts, eventually he did answer my texts and I told him it's a joke.
He started saying he kept crying that day, and that his old friends abandoned him and that we will never become the same again. He then asked me some really odd questions, such as if i regret introducing him to the others (as they liked him more) and if i was jealous and wanted to ruin it. Of course i denied that because that's simply not true, he himself is one of my closest friends.
Now he's just being a dick and not answering any of our calls and messages, last message he sent was "I understand it's a joke, but I'll never be the same again with any of you" and "give me time". We made a new group and added him but he left..
I think he's overreacting to a harmless joke, i mean he also did mean jokes before and I never took them this seriously, but at the same time he appears to be very insecure towards this scenario..
I don't want to lose this dude, he's a good friend, but i was thinking of confronting him on Sunday and telling him how he's overreacting..
Am i the asshole? What should I do to reclaim this friendship?
TL;DR:
Named our WhatsApp group "lonely bitch" and then made all members leave except one as a joke, the guy took it seriously because of his insecurities and is really mad about it even after telling him that it's a joke.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "calling my little brother a Nazi in a holocaust museum",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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|
AITA for calling my little brother a Nazi in a holocaust museum
|
he will likely see this as an avid reddit user, in which case, hey little bro!
i’ll start by saying that my comment wasn’t unfounded, he’s said some stuff which really borders on racism. he is twelve, and uses lots of dog whistles and racist memes, and doesn’t seem to grasp the full context of what he says, and doesn’t care enough to listen when i try to calmly explain it to him. he talks a lot about me just being ‘triggered’ and i catch him consuming a lot of neo-nazi filth on YouTube. it has me concerned, because i almost became a white supremacist myself going down the alt-right YouTube rabbit hole. I worry that he won’t snap out of it.
that was why we were visiting a Holocaust museum, in an attempt to de radicalized him, but he was seriously grinding my gears the whole time, saying really offensive things, so i snapped and told him to “keep his white supremacist shit to himself.” i drew some weird looks from the crowds and because i’m kinda awkward i began to feel really disrespectful and like i over reacted. was it warranted? how could it be better handled in the future?
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{
"description": "getting fed up with one or two of my roommates",
"pronormative_score": 0,
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AITA for getting fed up with one or two of my roommates?
|
Let me give you the short version of it. Here's what I've done that would make me the asshole:
-Forgotten to replace the toilet paper maybe once or twice last semester.
-Left a few dishes on the counter of the kitchen.
-Forgotten a slight mess I'd made in the kitchen once last semester.
-Accidentally broke a bottle of sparkling white grape juice, took care of the biggest piece, and ran out to catch the bus because I had to present a project that day that was worth 100% of my final grade and the bus was leaving in 3 minutes. (I did apologize to the group chat as soon as I got on the bus and I told them I promise I would take care of it as soon as I got back from rehearsal that night.
-Hadn't cleaned the bathroom I share with someone (yeah, that one DOES definitely make me the asshole, but we got a schedule set up for cleaning; I've been pretty much following it since.)
Part of that could probably be I have ADD, so tasks tend to slip my mind. It's not excusable, but likely understandable. I'm improving this semester. I haven't lived in an apartment or had roommates before.
Here's what some of my roommates have done:
-Taken down the shower curtain and taken away the batmat in the bathroom because of the bathroom thing (And like I said, I don't deny that I was the asshole in that, but removing the batmat and shower curtain is dangerous) until we got a schedule set up.
-Another only texts/talks to me to tell me to do a chore, never really bothers to get to know me.
-Blew up at me about the grape juice thing, even after I mentioned that I didn't have time to clean it up right there and then and I even told them the soonest time that I'd be able to clean it.
-Demanded I put away my dish RIGHT AT THAT SECOND, even though I'd just come back from a dress rehearsal of a show, which for the record is exhausting. I even asked her to let me recharge first and then I would gladly put it away.
-Pretty much blamed me for have a cold shower in a condescending way.
-Hidden all of the plates, cups, dishes, silverware after that single mess I had made in the kitchen (yes I get I should've cleaned it up and I wish I had remembered).
I've posted the story to other threads and they all think I'm the entitled one and that I'm the asshole. And for the third time, in some of these, yes I was. But AITA completely for all of this?
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{
"description": "ghosting a girl after she scared my friend",
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|
AITA for ghosting a girl after she scared my friend
|
I met a girl on Tinder. We talked a lot and it turned out we had lectures in the same building, so one day we decided I'd wait for her and we'd met in person.
The meeting was meh. Turned out she could meet me only because she was supposed to get some documents from doctor and right after that she needed to go home. It was raining and neither of us had an umbrella. Sometimes I didn't know what to say as she was way more intense in person. It wasn't my best day overall, so I didn't think much of it. And she struck me as a person who could use a friend.
Around week later we decided to meet again. We had classes until late, so we settled for a short walk and maybe some food. The break before the last lecture I got a text to meet her so I did. She was upset about some stall selling nerdy posters in the main hallway. Soon it became clear she was more mad than sad that she didn't have money to buy some poster. She started ranting about not having iPhone. She threw her smartphone on the ground several times. She cried. People were staring. I tried to comfort her, although I'm terrible at such situations. I managed to calm her down a little and convinced her to go to the last lecture to take her thoughts off it and after that we'll spend time together.
I felt mentally tired, but I focused on my own lecture, during which my laptop's charger broke. For most of my assignments I need access to a computer, so it was important to get a new one asap. Lecture ended and I'm heading towards exit talking with a friend. Friend went to the restroom and I hung nearby as we have this silly habit of leaving the building together (this explains why she doesn't leave on her own and stands close by). I spotted the girl and went her way. She was in better mood simply complaining about boring lecture and broken nail.
Friend left restroom, it's time to go. I mentioned broken charger and said we need to make a small detour to the store. Girl went nuts and yelled she won't go to the store to watch people buy things she cannot afford. I standed there dumbfounded and I could sense my friend was even more uncomfortable than me. When she finished I simply asked if she still wanted to go out with me and the answer was no. The only response my brain could think of at the moment was ok, bye.
Friend and I left. And friend was literally scared of the girl and she didn't change her mind after I tried to justify girl's behaviour. And nearly begged me to never meet the girl again. The thing is, I really trust my friends when it comes to the people I date/possibly would date.
The next few days I was busy. Girl was the one to text, but she asked about the medicine I didn't longer take and if I could give it to her. When I recived the message, my mind was set in stone to never contact her again. But right now I feel like an asshole, because it's clear she needed help and I just ghosted her.
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HISTORICAL
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
6Aqtg8LVVji1IeNI8wFVRfKlzZXmmjJE
|
a5j2x6
|
{
"description": "reporting a noise complaint against my hearing impaired neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I reported a noise complaint against my hearing impaired neighbor?
|
I know that sounds bad and that's why I'm here. For the last few months, my fiancé and I have lived in a small apartment complex. To begin with, the place isn't built great so the walls are thin, but we only have this issue with one neighbor.
Usually it's music or tv and it is loud. I mean like we can hear every word loud. She's told us it's so loud because she's hearing impaired. We have no reason to doubt her. We understand and are tolerant of it during the day, but usually the noise starts at 9pm and doesn't stop until sometime after 6am, it's a lot harder to do so. Ultamately it's making it hard to sleep. We've tried white noise, brown noise, we've tried headphones ( even ones meant for sleep). It's either uncomfortable or doesn't work.
Back in the summer months we were able to talk to them about it and that seemed to resolve things. Unfortunately, now that it's colder and we don't sleep with a fan on we are realizing maybe it wasn't so fixed after all. It's been loud again since maybe early November. My fiancé has gone down 4 different times after 11pm to knock and ask them to turn it down but no one ever answers. We feel bad since it's loud because they're hearing impaired but at the same time we need our sleep and I feel like there are other ways to go about late-night listening.
So, would I be the asshole for reporting a noise complaint to the leasing office? I feel so guilty because there is a real reason for it, but I'm sleep deprived, have finals due, and at my wits end.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 31,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dNTztrsfqPmlJs8vhiQ367MW1x2MXJIn
|
a857bq
| null |
AITA for the way I went about pointing out someone's mistake?
|
I am the sort of person who, if I make a mistake, I want someone to tell me so I can correct it. I understand that some people are sensitive to this, so when I do say something I try to be nice about it and maybe say it in a "joking" fashion. This was what I was attempting when I posted [this](http://imgur.com/6B7daO8) . I got back a reply from the mods that I was permanently banned from the sub for trolling. When I tried to explain that I was just trying to point out the mistake in a "joking" manner, [this](http://imgur.com/l3v8Rns) is the reply I got. Was I being the asshole here? I honestly didn't mean anything by it, I thought *winky emoji* was practically, like, universal emoji language for "just kidding', but maybe I'm wrong...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WjOBYs3I90FouXcvaYJG2SWzdlT2fAF1
|
9ulfm9
|
{
"description": "submitting an extra credit question and being told it was inappropriate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for submitting an extra credit question and being told it was inappropriate
|
I am a freshman in college and am currently enrolled in a seminar class. The teacher has offered extra credit in the form of a question submission via email.
The teacher's first email goes as
All,
This Monday’s class period will have faculty as guest panelists. They will be there to answer any questions you may have. In anticipation of faculty coming to speak with you, I would like to request that you submit your questions to me no later than Friday, November 2 by 5pm. There will be an opportunity to ask questions from the floor, but I would like to have the faculty as prepared as possible.
As extra credit, if you submit a question(s) and it is acceptable, I will give you 1 point on your final grade for the class.
My submitted question was
Is it best to transfer at the end of the year or in between the fall and spring semesters?
The teacher responded with
(Insert Name Here)
You do not have to be present for class on Monday (November 5). Thanks.
Being concerned I followed up with
Wait why? Am I still getting extra credit?
The next email was the final email from the teacher and it read
(Insert Name Here)
The question you presented is inappropriate for a faculty panel. My requirement for extra credit was that it be appropriate. Your desire to transfer is a personal desire and the answer to your question is not best suited to all students in the class. You are welcome to come to class, but I would not advise that you ask this question.
Does my question seem inappropriate for a faculty panel or solicit this response?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9LTAx6AhklQISvBDVTOmN00v2RK6o2y7
|
aowpc3
|
{
"description": "ghosting my ex gf who accused me of rape on reddit",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for ghosting my ex gf who accused me of rape on reddit?
|
Yeah I know this is a mess. Basically my long distance gf (I'm 20 now she's 19) accused me of rape on some advice forum on Reddit. I know ghosting isn't generally okay but I got seriously pissed off at what she wrote about me. She made it seem like I was the bad guy, telling everyone how I was being too rough with her and how she didn't like how we just went our separate ways after the sex was over. We were both virgins and she said before that she liked BDSM, and she said yes. I don't think it's okay that she go out accusing me online when I literally asked her if she wanted to have sex, and she literally said yes so I thought it was fine.
The reason I'm asking if I'm an asshole is because she seems to think I am and I do admit I thought about messaging her, but decided it's way too risky. I don't want to let her jeapordize my future. She was crying before the sex and telling me she wasn't sure she wanted to stay together and when I hugged her it turned into sex. I probably would've handled it better but yeah. Also she didn't outright accuse me, she asked if it was rape but in her text she heavily made it seem like it was and twisted the story. It really scared me because my future could get ruined. So I ghosted her even though she said she still really loves me.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
7bARFAFOkYIEU4OdBPR2rJHmhANLKjpu
|
b848sl
|
{
"description": "not calling my sister & nephew on their birthdays",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not calling my sister & nephew on their birthdays?
|
My sister and I have a very combative relationship. She's in her 40s and has never had success in her career. It's not entirely her fault, but she takes it out on other people. I'm younger and things have gone better for me, but she thinks that I can help her in ways that I can't. Years ago my intern (a woman) was hired into a full-time job. My sister was furious over this and said I should have given her the job. My sister wasn't qualified for it, my intern had a relevant Masters degree, and my sister lived 3000 miles away. Years later, I left that job and began dating my former co-worker. We're still dating.
(My sis and I have talked about that job. 1 time she seemed to acknowledge that it was the right decision.)
Last July my sis & nephew came to visit. My nephew is among my favorite people in the world and we play all kinds of games every time we're together. The first few days went OK.
One afternoon we were on a pier dancing to a jazz band and having a good time. My GF joined us, and as soon as she showed up my sister shut down. She didn't say hi to her, didn't acknowledge her presence, just looked straight through her. We walked 10 minutes to a restaurant and she wouldn't say a thing to her the whole time. In the restaurant my GF was seated immediately across from her. My sister still wouldn't acknowledge her. My GF felt so awkward and insulted that she made up an excuse and left. (My GF & my sis have met a few times before w/o incident.)
I was livid. After my nephew went to bed I told my sister how angry I was. She said I that I had no empathy for her and said that my GF would never get an apology. She left town a couple days later (earlier than planned) and we haven't spoken since. That was 9 months ago.
This past week included the bdays of my sis and nephew. I sent him a note and a gift and I included a short letter to my sister saying that I wanted her to be a part of my life, and that I hoped we could treat the people in both of our lives with respect. I didn't call my nephew though, bc I didn't want to go through my sister. This is the first time I haven't spoken to him on his bday. My sister never responded to the letter, and that was 2 weeks ago. (I sent the gift early.)
The day after my nephew's bday I learned (from my dad) that my sister needed $150 to take her dog to the vet. I sent my dad $300 and told him to give it to my sis. He suggested I include a card, but I've already written her a letter to which she hadn't responded, so I'm not sending a card.
Now it's been 5 days. I haven't heard from my sister. I'd like to speak to her and to my nephew. And I'd like her to apologize to my GF. I know that if I call her she's gonna give me a hard time about not calling my nephew.
Should I call her? AITA for not calling her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
JEPDKwzIVXm7p4r5FRGfWot8Fm8gYbVS
|
ahs8r1
|
{
"description": "not wanting my wife to book a hotel by herself for a night away",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 27
}
|
AITA for not wanting my wife to book a hotel by herself for a night away?
|
Hello Reddit,
​
So my wife is pregnant and is in her third trimester. She has recently been complaining about how stressed she is and how she needs a break. She says she needs a night away in a hotel by herself.
​
I find the night away in a hotel by herself to be strange, especially seeing that I was talking about taking her away for a "babymoon" next weekend where we would both getaway and leave our 2 year old with grandma and grampa. Further, I tell her that I would rather use our vacation fund for joint holidays and not seperate trips and that I don´t want to set a precendent of taking seperate trips like this - I am uncomfortable with the idea. She is furious and says this is not a seperate trip and she needs this, but I tell her that is how I view it.
​
After all this I inform her that I would be happy to give her a break this weekend - for both Saturday and Sunday I promise to take care of all responsibility and she is free to do anything but I ask her to come home and at least spend the night with me as there´s no need to get a hotel - especially with our upcoming babymoon. She gets incredibly upset at this and says that nothing will satisfy her except for the hotel and night away.
​
Fast forward to today (Saturday) and I thought this had blown over. I stick to my offer that I made her previously and start the day off by taking all responsibility around the house and caring for our child while she sleeps, I also make her breakfast. She however blows up at me after all this and says "No this is not a break. I need a night away in a hotel." An argument ensues and I end up feeling hurt that she doesn´t appreciate my gesture of giving her the weekend off all responsibility. In the end she storms out and books a hotel for herself anyways and stops talking to me.
​
So Reddit, AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 27,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 27
}
|
WRONG
|
zcYgt8n6omZTwmMEZmhXXIo1iuULdEIO
|
aznza1
|
{
"description": "stepping away from a friendship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for stepping away from a friendship?
|
Hi guys, I’m 22F. I’ve been fighting depression and after being gone for 2 months (as in no social media, no gaming, etc) because of the death of my mom, I came back to find some shitty things.
I realized that a friend, we will call her B, blocked me on every social media platform. I talked to others and from what I’ve gathered, she was upset because I came out as lesbian a bit before my mom passed away. B is lgbt herself, but doesn’t like lesbians and are ‘wary’ of us, as our mutual friend describe it. Mutual friend told me that B was over it and that we could still talk and hang out but I denied that. I told her that if B was really my friend, she wouldn’t have blocked me on everything just because I came out. I don’t give a shit about B really and we weren’t ever that close.
The main issue here is B is dating my best friend, F. I’ve known F for 12 years and introduced him to B. They live together now and have been dating for 2 years or so. The thing is, if I don’t forgive B, then F and I will not be able to hang out. I talked to F and he told me he isn’t mad at me and pretty much separates himself from the situation and says that her decision are hers to make. I don’t want to be around B though, and B and F are glued together. She’s like a puppy and can never leave his side. It sucks, but I feel like I have no way to be friends with F. I’m sure she’s reading ever message I send him as well, because a message I sent will be marked as read occasionally and when I ask why he didn’t reply, he’ll say that he didn’t even have any messages on his phone (making me think maybe she deleted my texts).
WIBTA if I told F that I can no longer be friends with him/talk to him if B is around (pretty much meaning our friendship is over)? I don’t want to start even more drama and ruin their relationship. I don’t know if I should just ghost him or be upfront about it. I still think he would take her side though because they live together and if he cared about the way she treated me, he would have said something sooner..
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CbzftuVF4ASIqAL4neEVY5WkmJSiu3M0
|
b7qpeo
|
{
"description": "getting rude with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting rude with my mom
|
Here me out okay. So I[15F] have some event coming up where I need to wear something all black. I decided to ask my mom[36F] for a jumpsuit of hers to wear (we are relatively the same size with her being slightly bigger than me) The entire time she complain about me using it for whatever reason and told me I was going to stretched it out with my big butt and that I better give it back to her and such. The entire time she was getting it she just kept on and on complain so I told her never mind she can keep the thing. She got ticked off because of this and told me that I just need to try it on (still being some type of way). I told her no I’ll just wear something of mine since she has a problem of me wearing something of hers. She replied with “Fine you can go cry to your daddy when you go back!” (I lived with him and visit my mom on the weekends) I said “there ain’t gonna be any crying I’ll just wear that dress since it’s such a problem” this is were I felt like I was being rude. And she left with a stick up her butt.
Sorry if the grammar is bad I wrote this on my phone
Also I’m using a throwaway account
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
0I8HwtKO7URaPHlB8RCfQF1oPKznN0lI
|
b1z86h
|
{
"description": "accidentally breaking my friends tv",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for accidentally breaking my friends TV?
|
So before I start this was a very minor event that happened and I will admit that the entire thing sounds EXTREMELY childish.
So I am very ticklish (this is important to the story) like insanely ticklish. Anyways, I was playing video games on the couch with 2 of my best friends. One of those two friends and his fiancé had just bought a new apartment together and were having a “housewarming party” Other people were at the house but not in the room.
My two friends were purposefully trying to make me lose at the game we were playing, so they kept poking me in the stomach or sides while playing. The one who was doing it the most was the host of the event. At one point, I said to the host, “if you poke me in the stomach one more time I’m smacking the controller out of your hand.” Looking back on it now it was dumb because they were laughing and having a good time but I was genuinely getting really pissed at them because I hate being poked and shit.
So my friend pokes me one more time, and so leaned in for a wild swing and knocked the controller straight out of my friends hand. Issue was, I was not thinking about where the controller would land and it went directly into the TV and shattered the screen. The controller was fine, but the tv was destroyed. My friends fiancé then ran into the room and started yelling asking what happened. I got immediately ratted out.
Now if nothing else so far has made me look like an asshole, this next part definitely will. So my friends fiancé began to demand that I buy them a new tv. At first I flat out refused because I was still pissed about them poking me, but eventually after reflecting I felt that it was my fault for breaking the TV and thus offered to pay for Half price of a tv, provided it was the same kind that they already had (about 300-400). His fiancé is still demanding I pay full price for the tv. The other people in our group of friends are staying out of it, but I honestly wish I just knew if I was justified in only wanting to pay half the price for the TV or if I should be obligated to pay full price.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
WDaBXP5sY4qYP4LVXplqNzDMoDLK3pmW
|
b6myus
|
{
"description": "suggesting to my co-workers that I am unable to have children",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for suggesting to my co-workers that I am unable to have children?
|
At work, I'm in a department with eight people. I am the only person on the team without children and I'm the youngest by about five years (I'm a woman and almost 30). They all are very family-oriented and I like to stay at home with my fiance and play video games. We don't want children at all, and I have an IUD that my coworkers don't know about (I keep medical things private). This does not cause any rifts between my team and I. At most, I can't contribute much to conversations about children. Some of them game or watch the same shows as me, so we still have a lot in common and get along great. We have meetings regularly and, as far as the workplace goes, this is the best team I have ever worked with.
At our meetings, we usually spend some time catching up on non-work related things if time permits. Today we had a meeting, and one co-worker asked how my wedding planning was going. Of course, this conversation jokingly flows into the "next step", which is children. I'm a very chill person and my go-to answer is "That's not in the cards for us right now. Maybe in a few years". They aren't judgmental about it, but I don't like answering the same question because nothing has changed. It's been asked about five times by different co-workers since I started there a year ago.
I'll admit I wasn't feeling the best and overwhelmed with my current project. I never try to show that on my team and remain positive, but the timing was terrible. I sat there quietly for a second and said, "Listen, it's just not going to happen for us." Everyone's face fell, and I was confused until my co-worker said, "I'm sorry to hear that, OP" and changed the subject. I realized with how I delivered the message, they think I can't have children and I feel that I've put some people in an awkward spot.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mgGp0istUT4DQ009QpXv5dQSOIH8jTmW
|
9ysrzz
|
{
"description": "suggesting a cheaper date for my now ex-girlfriend's birthday",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA-For suggesting a cheaper date for my now ex-girlfriend’s birthday?
|
I will now supply some context. I’m a 21M, who is in college and paying for my own college. I had been with my now ex for 3 years. So day before her birthday she suggests we go to an expensive restaurant. So I suggest we go somewhere cheaper because we can use that money for when we go on our vacation the next week.(which was also for her birthday, where I was going to be paying for meals/tickets etc) She gets mad because I complained about how the restaurant was expensive. Says I get lunch with my coworkers all the time I should be able to take her out. (I had actually not eaten out with him for 2-3 weeks because I was saving money for our trip....yes I tried to explain that to her) So she tells me not to come up for her birthday because she’s going to eat with her friends instead of me. I try talking to her but she just yells at me so I give up. I text her the day after again she didn’t want me to come. So I tell all the people(some of her friends) I invited to her place to bar hop as a surprise party for her, not to come.(Had bought drinks and balloons) We met up the following day and she’s still mad and says things to me like “I’m her boyfriend I’m supposed to do things for her” “she’s not gonna applaud me for the bare minimum” “All my friends told me to break up with you” so after that we broke up. I still gave her the birthday presents she wanted but I miss her a lot and sometimes I wish I had just bitten the bullet and not complained because it was her birthday... I was just trying to budget for trips and everything else. But, I need to know, was I wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ACMxGviiTeKbL1uD3rD9gAlLhZrCO3PE
|
azfxsr
|
{
"description": "not wanting my gf to bring her dogs over to my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my gf to bring her dogs over to my apartment?
|
I’ve recently moved into my first apartment, by myself. I have one doggo who never has an issue with having accidents in the house. However, whenever my gf brings her two dogs over inevitably there’s poop and pee SOMEWHERE in my apartment. I’m sick of it. She refuses to use negative reinforcement with her dogs (so IMO they have no idea what’s right and wrong), so she always just cleans it up and goes on with her day. It’s getting to the point where I don’t even want her to bring her dogs over. They’re not bad dogs, but I don’t feel like I should have to clean pee and poop out of every surface I own when they come over. Am I the asshole if I tell her I don’t want her dogs to come over until they’re properly potty trained?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
UUCs4PRJgeAAuu3RcLOkIi6fLcT5JBJT
|
ahv4jk
|
{
"description": "getting an emotional support animal letter through an online service",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA if I got an emotional support animal letter through an online service?
|
My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) recently moved into an apartment together. In doing so, I moved out of my parents’ house.
I have anxiety and regularly (especially in the evening) experience rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, lightheadedness, feeling of a “pit” in my stomach, fatigue, etc. This happens more frequently when I am alone. The symptoms became much worse when I left home and went off to college, decreased significantly when I moved home, and have now started up again. I’ve had what I would consider a panic attack/episode at least 3 times in the past week. I believe this has to do with me moving out, my parents separating (very recent) after my dad having an affair, and my boyfriend starting a job that he works in the evenings, which leaves me alone for long stretches of time.
I would like to get an emotional support animal to help alleviate some of these symptoms. My (technically my family’s) puppy at my parents’ house was always able to distract and comfort me when I was particularly anxious. I believe that I would legitimately qualify for an emotional support animal.
However, my issue is that doctors (any health professionals really) are major triggers for my anxiety. Because of this, I would like to obtain a letter via an online service or some sort of teletherapy (the most legit I can find). Note that this would NOT be a registration/certification. I know these are scams. There seem to be services out there that can legally do this, but I know that online services like this are often scams that make life more difficult for people with service animals and even “real” ESAs, which I don’t want to support.
So, Reddit, WIBTA for using a legal but ethically questionable online service for obtaining an ESA letter? Should I just suck it up and see a therapist?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
6mHOOqph4g9EoiH1t6biN73Jj4TVtKqD
|
9w50g6
|
{
"description": "having a crush on my coworker",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for having a crush on my coworker?
|
Okay so I'm married and I have a crush on my coworker. Here's a little back story of my marriage: we have been together almost 3 years, got engaged after 7 months, married after about a year and a half. For our entire relationship, he's had crappy jobs and I've talked to him multiple times about trying to find something better. My mom is about to die from cancer and we recently had a major blowout. I told him I want him to stay in a hotel because I need to process my mom's death alone. He ended up punching our old TV screen until it was shattered and he caused a contusion in his hand.
Side note: A few months ago I started asking him about his resume and he would immediately change the subject. I made him sit down with me to edit his resume so I could apply to jobs for him because he wouldn't (even though I made it clear for months that I want him to find something better so we can save for our future). I kept applying for him and he wouldn't respond to the emails.
After our blowout, him punching the TV and each of us yelling at each other, the next day he acted like NOTHING HAPPENED. I walked in and he runs up to me to give me a hug. He keeps talking about his feelings but he hasn't been there at all for me during this time with my mom. His mom had cancer when he was 6 and he was told she would pass (she didn't), but he's the least understanding person.
I have a crush on my coworker because he's there for me more than my husband is. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
1QmiZqTlQwGLSvqJXrQUMsBAhWbA0taX
|
b1b1ft
|
{
"description": "turning someone down cause they have HSV2",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for turning someone down cause they have HSV2?
|
I responded to a dating ad on here a few weeks ago. I gave some info about myself and they said something to the effect of "just so you know I have HSV2".
I told them sorry(this won't work for me) and wished them luck.
They responded with "omg". This to me was a clear dig at me with the implication being that I'm a jerk for not being interested in them.
Am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ScLJxoYemLrYJoOugJ8fopTrQOvth8rm
|
b3hy7r
|
{
"description": "using Amazon prices as price match at Brick and Mortar stores",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for using Amazon prices as price match at Brick and Mortar stores?
|
I often will price match at stores like Best Buy and not feel as bad because they are a national chain. But, I have also done this at locally owned stores without considering the ramifications.
​
Now, I'm all sure you have seen stores closing in your hometown such as I have. Is my price matching practice contributing to this? If so, I guess the question has been answered. I am the asshole...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
e9mrl3cpLdwKS0XqxeltvB2ZybbFUgAI
|
agsuk3
|
{
"description": "telling my wife I will go do laps with her at night, and only going once in 3 days",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my wife I will go do laps with her at night, and only going once in 3 days?
|
Okay so my wife is overweight and I tried to get her to do something about it. She said she wanted to go swimming and do laps so I agreed happily even stating "I'll do whatever you want I dont care I just want to help". Well I didnt think she meant at 9 15 to 10pm ! And its 20 mins away o yeah n I have to be up at 5 am for work. I feel bad because I did say I would do anything. I understand she doesn't like the early morning(4:45-5ish) swim because she is embarrassed with the people around. That being said she doesnt work and can sleep all day. I feel bad for saying such a blanket statement but I was hoping for her to consider things a little more, now she is "not gonna ask you for help ever and fuck you I dont know why I talk to you " etc..... So is it me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mgd3bTIulfEi3INYXZGn5urgAjhQXzLC
|
ak75lr
|
{
"description": "trying to knock my friend down a peg for becoming an EMT",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for trying to knock my friend down a peg for becoming an EMT?
|
I've had this friend since first grade and since being out of high school, she has decided to become an EMT. She been only been in the program for a few months (since August 2018) but since even before the program started has being posting these boastful (i.e. prideful and almost arrogant) snap stories anywhere between every day to a few times a week.
They all go something along the lines of "I'm so proud of my fellow EMTs/firefighters!! No one understands the shit we go through!" etc. In the past she has posted the blue line flag claiming it was for firefighters and EMTs as well, despite the evidence I tried to show her. She just denied it and said I didn't understand. Regularly she posts selfies of just her or with her friends exclaiming how proud she is and how much good they're doing. I'd like to note that she is not an EMT yet nor are her friends firefighters yet.
Granted she is doing well in the program is likely to become an EMT eventually, but watching these stories constantly where she congratulates herself and demands respect for "what she does" gets annoying eventually, so today I decided to talk to her. Am I the asshole in this situation?
Here's the convo, sorry she's hard to understand sometimes: [https://imgur.com/gallery/37tFN6n](https://imgur.com/gallery/37tFN6n)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
CjtMf77EFUjGuZOniyHcYmQ357xYkd4j
|
b0nsxl
|
{
"description": "not inviting my brother to a trip I'm taking with my girlfriend and parents",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For not inviting my brother to a trip I'm taking with my girlfriend and parents?
|
My girlfriend is German so last year we took a trip to visit her family there. Last year, it seemed like my dad really wanted to go too. So, this year I invited him and my mom to come with. Both my parents are in their 50s and this is the first vacation in years that my dad has taken where it's not about taking kids to an amusement park or something. He works away from home a lot and doesn't get to do enough for himself. That's why I thought it would be cool for him do something like this.
​
Recently, we've been talking more about the trip (it's in May) and my brother told me he was interested in coming too. I think it'd be weird if he came, but he just broke up with his girlfriend so I feel bad saying no. It's going to be expensive and really difficult for me to come up with the money so I don't really want to compromise. I'm just not sure where my brother would fit in. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
2QaceL3TXVzgqCFDrf5rNvGZP6RpwpRZ
|
9v8wei
|
{
"description": "refusing to let the father of my child get involved if he refuses to pay child support",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for refusing to let the father of my child get involved IF he refuses to pay child support ?
|
This is a throw away account.
I told my ex if he is not willing to pitch in his share financially, he cannot see our child.
He makes twice as I do. He still pursues his hobbies. I've pretty much given up mine to make ends meet.
And no, neither me nor my son are citizens of a country or residing in a country that recognizes or will implement co-parenting - the legal system where we are, are pretty much NOT in favor of it, actually. But neither is child support legally enforceable. I don't live in the US or Canada or any western country that has modern family laws.
If the city hall finds out the father is involved, I will no longer be eligible for child support/child benefits and my ''points'' will decrease which can make me ineligible for subsidized kindergarten and child welfare.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
rZcSV1QHrQFjBRnoPNjLU53HoU8rlrY7
|
b8dkwr
|
{
"description": "calling my girlfriend spoiled",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for calling my girlfriend spoiled?
|
(Mobile formatting sorry) My girlfriend and I are both seniors in high school. Today she got a letter from a small, state university. The letter said she received a substantial scholarship that would cover all expenses, as well as allow her to study abroad for free. I was so excited for her, but she didn’t really care. She said the small, state school is not her first choice. I tried to convince her that it might be worth going to her backup university with this scholarship on the table now, but she said that she is set on going to the larger, better-known state school. This is where the problem arises, the larger university offered her no scholarships and didn’t admit her to the honors program, so going to the university will set her back $25k a year. I asked her how she could just pass up a free ride, and she told me that her family already offered to pay for college, so the price wouldn’t matter to her. I asked her how she could just think this way. I explained that I have to pay for my university, and furthermore, some people can’t even afford to go to university in the first place. She immediately got defensive, and said “well my parents were smart with their money.” I cut her off and asked “are you implying that my parents weren’t smart with their money?” She said, “ I never said that. You’re treating me like a spoiled brat, and that not what I am.” I told her, “yes. You are spoiled.” She said she didn’t want to talk anymore tonight. Am I The Asshole for calling her spoiled???
TL;DR - girlfriend passed up on substantial scholarship, claiming parents would pay for college. I called her a spoiled brat.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
wyIqZT5hNVuYKWxzrCZ7payJ3jKl1wi1
|
athc6g
|
{
"description": "leaving my friend when we made plans",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for leaving my friend when we made plans?
|
Ok so backstory, I only have 1friend, very popular. We are both in the same high school but she lives far from the school and I don't so she takes the bus and I walk. Sometimes she invites me over to her place and today was one of those days
We left the school while talking to this other girl (also popular) I am back a bit, but still a part of the convo. Another girl tags along, and they stop to talk, as do I. More and more people were tagging on and I was being more and more ignored, since I knew like 4 people there. At like the 15 minute mark there are 12 people on this street corner, eating some McDonald's and laughing. I am off to the side waiting. I decide to leave and so I walk home. I am like 4 streets away, almost home when friend calls me asking why I'm not at the bus stop, I say I'm home and she says "super" And hangs up. I come home and write a Reddit post about it.
I'm not a native speaker so sorry for mistakes.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
20f8AC1RsvQViYFHthYOhCgZQ8hgy1OK
|
b2ln5s
|
{
"description": "arguing with a woman who took my spot in line",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for arguing with a woman who took my spot in line?
|
This happened about 5 years ago when I was 16 but has always bothered me. I was at an amusement park with my cousin who is a few years younger than me. She had had a problem with her ticket so we went to go stand in line to see guest services outside the entrace to the park. We're in a line with about 15 people in total in it and are about half way through. There are two guest services windows but only one line (this is somewhat important). There is about a 3 foot gap between me and my cousin and the next person in line.
As we're standing there a woman with a small child, maybe 4 or 5, walks into the gap in front of us. She doesn't say anything or look at us. Thinking that she may have thought the line began there I say: "Maam we're in line too." She turns to me and says: "Well my son is handicapped and this is the handicapped line so I get to go to the front." She then gestures towards a handicapped symbol sticker thats on the window to the left. Personally I have no idea if her son was or wasn't handicapped. He had no obvious physical disability but of course that doesnt mean he wasn't, however, I had no way of telling. It's also worth noting that this is the only guest service area outside the park. Additionally, there is no idication that it is for the handicapped besides the sticker on one of the windows. Before I can respond my cousin says that it's fine and I drop it. I would have continued to argue if it weren't for her. I turn to her and say in a lower voice: "I don't get it, she gets to go in front of us because her son is handicapped?" The woman immediately turns back around looking angry and asks me: "What did you juat say about me?" I say "Nothing." and she turns back around.
At this point we still have to wait a few minutes as there were still people in front of us both in line and at the windows. Eventually only the woman who cut is in front of us in the line and the right window, the one without the wheelchair symbol, is open. She turns to us again and scowls saying: "See now it's open. That wasn't too hard was it?" We say nothing and go to the window, get the problem fixed and go into the park. We don't encounter the lady again for the rest of the day.
I don't feel like I did anything wrong but based on the way she reacted I'm not sure. So Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
c6DNSOH7n6qXv6sXhzNz67YU3Ko3xINb
|
a6m1bw
|
{
"description": "telling my co worker that she is a hypocrite for not letting me have a day off",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told my co worker that she is a hypocrite for not letting me have a day off.
|
So a little background I work at a movie theater that is on the brink of shutting down. This is a mixture off poor pay and management. Now I don’t hate any of my co workers but it feels like I am sometimes put with the worse ones because I do my job. So today I decided to take a mental health day to deal with some stress and anger I have been dealing with the weeks prior. Now my job does not believe in mental health days so they usually don’t accept if you give that as your reason. My friend (also co worker but we are first and foremost friends) tells my co worker (the one) that I am actually not sick but taking a mental health day? So I get a text saying she knows I am not really sick. I am not blaming my friend but I am thinking that my co worker is a hypocrite because she takes entire weeks off to manage stress at times. I believe that my situation (even tho it is a little last minute) is no different from taking time off in advance.
Now a little extra info
1) I am a low worker
2) she is higher up but in no way can fire me
3) I know we have enough people to work because they would have sent people home (not me) early because we usually over staff on weekends for cases like this.
So be honest because I will apologize if I am wrong WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
rZVlPHjOTZxvIQ2YP3AJLm1PUKlyEKu7
|
b13eeq
|
{
"description": "telling someone out the blue I don't like them",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I told someone out the blue I don't like them?
|
I have a “friend” in my friend group that just makes my blood boil, all of us kind of just tolerate him but I am really not a fan. We made a plan for a trip this weekend and he asked about it. I told him we already booked it and that we aren’t allowed to have guests. He blew up and this is all just a culmination of everything he does it’s always a huge deal and I’ve tried multiple times to give him a chance but it’s never chill and I just didn’t want my weekend to get ruined over some petty problem. Anyways I think I’ve reached my breaking point. I just want to tell him I don’t like him and that he needs to quit hitting me up. I haven't talked to him one on one in probably like 2 months. If I texted him that out of nowhere would I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mOxXa80GRNXtwYcpoxXkMJggiPHMcGKE
|
a9uhm4
|
{
"description": "being angry with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being angry with my Mom
|
I dated a girl "F" for 2 years. We had gotten close and my family really took a liking to her. My mom, specifically, got along well with her and they frequently texted and chatted on facebook.
​
Flash forward toward the end of our relationship. We weren't too attracted to each other anymore and the nail in the coffin was when I found out she had been seeing someone for a few weeks. She lied multiple times over the whole thing. First that it was just casual flirting, then kissing, and I finally found out they had sex. Whatever, we broke up, I blocked her, and moved on.
​
This is where I start getting frustrated. My mom and F remained good friends in the past year we haven't dated. I know, my mom's an adult and she can make her own decisions but it really bothered me. I've never been terribly close with my family since I moved away but I found out F and my mom had been talking about me (my mom overshares everything) as well over this past year and it feels like a huge breach of trust since she's told her what I've been up to, who I'm dating, etc. Worst of all she told me how F's current BF looks just like me and sent me a fucking picture.
​
Like, really? I asked my mom multiple times over this past year to not talk to F out of respect but this crossed a line for me and I refused to come out for xmas holidays. She's been really upset since holidays mean a lot to her and I feel awful cause my sister mentioned how hurt my mom was but I feel like my feelings have been disregarded too. These wounds are constantly being re-opened despite my feelings on the matter.
​
I guess it's just a touchy subject and it feels like my pleas are on deaf ears as she just shrugs it off when I bring up how that bothers me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
l5q3GZTG7RqD17VwjJo69XOVz2bcAqKU
|
b5g0pv
|
{
"description": "breaking them up",
"pronormative_score": 88,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for breaking them up?
|
My daughter is 16 years old dating a 17 year old boy, they attend the same high school and have been dating for over 3 years. I've never had an issue with their relationship and have always been very happy for the both of them, he's stayed here multiple times, she's stayed at his home multiple times, he eats dinner with my family some nights. However, recently I discovered a string of very odd things to do with his mother, she told my daughter to think of her as her mother, calls her her future daughter, critiques some of the ways in which I raised her, says once she's married her son then she'll finally have a good mother, but then I discovered something disturbing, my daughter told me she'd been feeling depressed and when her boyfriend told his mother she arranged an appointment herself, and told her if she's prescribed anything she has to take it. She didn't make me aware or simply offer advice, she acted like her mother and took care of it. When I told her I thought this was unacceptable, she told her son who berated my daughter about telling me, her boyfriend and his mother apparently have been pressuring my daughter to move into their home also. To me it's like she's trying to indoctrinate my child and turn her against me to make her more her own child, I don't want to come between them if they're happy but her boyfriends support of her actions and part in them has made me feel like the relationships underbelly is both toxic and manipulative, so I asked her to break up with him due to the countless red flags that make me fear for her safety.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 85,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 8
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 88,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
49X4WnwxeKt9psFXQN4cApEjBgS2oYjT
|
9u1hn1
|
{
"description": "not tipping",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not tipping?
|
I went to go eat some all you can eat Korean BBQ with my friends after we finished a tedious group project to celebrate (highschool). After waiting for some time, the waiter finally takes our order for our first round. We noticed that he hadn't brought us any water. We don't mind because you have to ask for water in California to be served water. But even after asking, we were waterless for a good 15 minutes. We've tried to grab their attention but it seemed as if they were intentionally ignoring us and just scurried away to other tables or the kitchen. When we finally got a hold of one of the waiters, he grabs us some water but refuses to take our next order because he was not our assigned waiter. At this point we really start to get frustrated. Our waiter takes our order (after another 10 minutes of waiting), giving us a ton of attitude. This time, we ordered more just so we wouldn't pester him again but no, he tells us it is a max 2 plates per order. We never see this guy again after that (during our stay in the restaurant) so we just ask for our check (which they were very fast in bringing) and leave. Given the poor service, we don't leave any tip.
As we leave the restaurant, our waiter chases us out with a butter knife in hand. Visibly frustrated, he berates me and my friends for not leaving any tip. He tells us we are naive kids who have never worked a job in our entire lives, emphasizing that it is very hard to earn a living in California off of minimum wage. I was honestly shocked. I have never thought of viewing this type of situation from that perspective. Embarrassed, my friends and I just walk away (there were a lot of people outside). Now, one half of me genuinely feels remorse for not tipping. He might've been having a shitty day at work or at home. I don't know what goes on in his personal life, so I can never say. Even some of the people that I shared this story with tells me that we should've just tipped him. But the other half of me feels as if our decision to not tip him was justified. We were barely tended to, and received blatantly terrible service. I've not tipped in restaurants before where I received little to no service. AITA for not tipping then, and in this particular situation?
TLDR: My friends and I didn't tip a waiter who gave us terrible service. He proceeds to chase us out of the restaurant and makes us feel terrible about not tipping him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9DfpsWt7bq4VmsdWPTXYI4hAS7418uaw
|
aqfi3h
|
{
"description": "moving my roommates things",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving my roommates things
|
A bit of context before I dive in, my roommate and I share a two-bedroom apartment with a small common space with a kitchen and living room. The apartment is pre-furnished with everything anyone could need. My roommate was leasing their room a year before I started leasing mine. According to our neighbors the person who was originally in my room was never around, so my roommate was able to do whatever she wanted in the common area with no one was around to complain or ask for space.
My roommate and I have had issues with her stuff being left out before. Not like "oh, you left out a book or a plate is in the sink" but more like "wow, where's the floor?" I was tolerant for the first month, assuming she just wasn't used to me or sharing space, and I asked a couple times if she could clean stuff up because I couldnt do anything in the common area including cooking. At this time she also had a new boyfriend and would spend most of her time at his apartment, maybe coming back to our place once a day. Whenever she came in she would put her trash on the counter and the pile would build up. I hit the point where I had had enough and I moved everything off of the kitchen counter that didnt belong in the kitchen and I threw away all trash that I could find. She got mad when she came in the next day, threw a couple personal insults, said I had no friends. It was okay though because I got to cook dinner and she moved all personal items into her room and our common space got clean. Please note that at this time all of my cook ware was kept in my room and all of my food was kept in my room as well. I had asked for her to make space in the cabinets and the fridge for me but that had not happened yet.
Three months of living like that she announces that shes going to be subletting the room to someone and that she wouldnt be in our apartment from January to May. I asked at this time again if she could move some of her stuff out of the kitchen cabinets so I could put my cookware out there instead of keeping it under my bed and she agreed at the time. She found a subletter who is male and I wasnt okay with that and was blocking it with out landlord as much as I could because I didn't want to live with a boy. The landlord agreed with me. Her parents showed up to help her move out of her bedroom when I was at work and I recieved a call from our landlord saying that I had documents to sign to allow a male roommate into our space. I then recieve a call from her and her parents saying that I had agreed to have a male roommate and I needed to sign it because I was causing "unnecessary drama". I proceeded to call my mother crying because my parents didn't want me living with a boy and that's how it was shaping up to go down. My mother convinced me to just sign it and I got a written agreement from the landlord that if the boy was crazy I could change units at no fee. She leaves the apartment and the new boy moves in.
When she had left, she left a pile of laundry, a pile of her boyfriends stuff, a full fridge of moldy/rotting food, and cabinets full of her stuff. I cleaned out the fridge and left for my parents house for the holidays.
When I came back the boy moved in (we're actually pretty good friends now, but if my dad or grandma asks the new roommate is a girl). He asked where he could put his cookware and if I could make space for him in the kitchen. I had boxes under my bed that I was keeping my cookware in and he had boxes that he moved his in so we cleared out half of the cabinets and split that half of the space between us. We put her stuff in the boxes and put those boxes in our laundry closet where we had a bit of storage space that we could use. We did not touch the piles in the common area.
Two weeks later we're having our seasonal room inspections and those piles that she had left were a fire hazard and the landlord called my roommate and said her stuff would be picked up by maintenance and once it was picked up it would be impounded for 30 days and if it wasn't claimed it would be disposed of. One week after the inspection maintenance showed up and the new boy asked if they had talked to the boyfriend of the girl subleasing as the majority of the stuff being taken was his. He called the boyfriend and asked if he could collect the stuff as soon as possible. He ends the call and reports to the room (including maintenance) that the boyfriend was on his way. He recieved a call about two minutes later from the roommate who was out, apparently screaming about what a horrible individual I was, and he told me to turn off my phone to prevent her from calling me, so I did. Maintenance at this point leaves and says they'll come back later to move out anything left behind. Boyfriend shows up and moves out all of the piles and stuff left out visible and goes to look for her ceramic plates because aparently she told him that he could use them and he was going to pick them up in May but because he was there he was going to grab them at the time. We, new boy and I, go into our laundry closet and give him the box with her silver ware and her ceramic plates, bowls and mugs.
The day after one of our neighbors comes over and is like "Old roommate is really mad and she wants to talk and said that you're not responding to any of her calls or texts". I pick up my phone because I had thought I just had the one call last night and hadn't recieved any texts from her in over a month. Just the one call the day before when my phone was off and no voice message and no texts.
An hour after, the old roommate texted me and basically called me an inconsiderate ass for boxing her stuff in the cabinets without telling her. Am I The Asshole for moving her stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
oDRv4dDXQ3Kcmy8c56xzLr9o5F3aiSrs
|
a8p5o5
|
{
"description": "getting pissed at my family when they went to Logan's Candies without me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting pissed at my family when they went to Logan's Candies without me?
|
My friends and I have wanted to go the Old Spaghetti Factory for a while, and my mom planned with their parents for us to go today. I was totally okay with that.
My sister just got back from college yesterday night and I didn't go to the airport with my family to get her because I was in the middle of baking cookies with a friend of mine when they left, and they didn't make it seem like they wanted me to come. I was actually told it would just be my mom and dad who went, and that my brother and I would be staying home. In addition, they said the flight was delayed so I wasn't sure if we would even be going that night.
Now that she's here in CA, she's going with the rest of the family to Logan's Candies, where we've all been planning to go for a while. We wanted to go during Thanksgiving but we couldn't because she was sick. Now that we can, I was super excited to go with them.
My mom just walked in and told me they're going while I'm at the Old Spaghetti Factory with my friends. I'm pissed as hell that they planned it this way. It would be one thing if I was the one who planned going with my friends since I would be knowingly interrupting whatever plans and actively choosing my friends over my family, but I had no idea they were going to Logan's until just now. I can't bail on my friends now but something makes me wish I could have gone with my family.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
DGefS4VBKb3Jf0Wk57VM4Pp0hBDxGhtp
|
abjihr
|
{
"description": "getting angry at people when they talk too much about completely irrelevant things",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting angry at people when they talk too much about completely irrelevant things?
|
I'm not sure why this pisses me off so much, but it does. People that just make either random remarks or just tell people everything they do before or after they do it for no contextual reason, just bug tf out of me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
LIz1kdPfifJm9b6L5WstA6822C305sJC
|
ae3dzk
|
{
"description": "wanting one of my friends to ghost the guy who's been ghosting her for 2 months now that he's stopped",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting one of my friends to ghost the guy who’s been ghosting her for 2 months now that he’s stopped?
|
A girlfriend of mine has been seeing this guy for about 3-4 months. All was well the first 2 months, then he started ghosting her. So she started to become disinterested once she started to deal with the rejection, about a week ago, she said she was happy that it was over and she wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore, it’s like he knew because this week, he came on super strong, she doesn’t like him anymore and wants to communicate it like an adult. I think she should give him a taste of his own medicine.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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{
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|
WRONG
|
2iiaXcV8fpGQkcs22BYAJvD9mhciVPal
|
axv3a9
|
{
"description": "wanting to be warned about my BF drawing nude life drawings",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting to be warned about my BF drawing nude life drawings?
|
u/FederalPoet 's post nude painting reminded me of this, which I guess I haven't finished processing!
To tell the short version of the backstory, my BF had made out with another girl while I was in the other room doing dishes. (And the night before at the club we were at and had cuddled with her the whole night also while I was in the same room but I digress.) Cut to about 2-6 months later, I actually don't remember, we were still together but I was still working on my feelings about it and still experiencing a lot of jealousy.
I get home one night, and he is super excited to show me some art he had done! I look, and it's a bunch of figure drawings of a naked woman. His office was having a week where they were providing a variety of useful art etc. classes to employees, and this was one of them. I tried to be "chill" about it, but it just sparked up a lot more jealousy again.
We got into a fight about it that I don't think we ever really resolved. He said he had showed me because he was hoping to get some support from me re: his art which is also his career (he works in film). I expressed that it really shocked me to suddenly see all of these drawings of a naked woman he had done. He was firm that it was a professional setting and there wasn't anything to be jealous about - it was a professional model and he was surrounded by coworkers, it's not like it was a sexual experience. I said that I wished he had warned me about it, even before he had opted in to take the class; that I would have been fine with it under other circumstances because I understand the artistic value, but because of our recent history I was particularly sensitive and really really needed the warning.
I am willing to admit I am a prude and therefore the asshole but let me know! X)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
6LkrrHqvKdpz8ESdqohaHj1IstUoA0M5
|
aj97bq
| null |
AITA: Roommate requests we all use scent-free items.
|
This is kind of a dumb situation.
A bit of context: I live in an apartment with two other people, one of which has a scent allergy (aversion?) and thus it’s a “fragrance free home.” What this meant was no scented laundry detergent, no dryer sheets, air fresheners, etc. I was not told this by the landlord until I had moved in, but happily obliged as I have food related allergies myself so I understand.
However, recently it has come up that the body soap, deodorant, etc (which I keep in my room) is apparently an issue for this particular person. Now, I don’t use extreme fragrance based things - no cologne or perfume, and the stuff that I do use is not strong at all (by regular standards).
The issue is that I don’t want to change what I use on my body, as I feel like that’s somewhat unreasonable to dictate what other people use, but I also don’t want to be an asshole as I’d like to think I’m generally a nice person.
So, am I the asshole for not complying to this request, or do I have a point?
I appreciate anyone who takes the time to weigh in.
Thanks.
TL;DR: Roommate requests we use fragrance free house items. I happily agreed, but now that seems to be extending to personal items. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
4xzcrmOEIfBMRPoI3oGCJ3cVX4pESIbg
|
axhgyf
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give someone my number after I asked them for their number and they instead asked for mine and didn't give me theirs",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA For not wanting to give someone my number AFTER I asked them for their number and they instead asked for mine and didn't give me theirs?
|
Sometimes I meet people (whether in a dating, social, or work setting) and I asked for their numbers to keep in touch. Instead of giving me their number, some people ask me for mine which makes me feel weird because I'm the one who asked first - just give me you number. I feel like they're being difficult or just sneaky or I don't even know what, and I feel like saying "no, you can't have my number" or "no, I won't give you my number unless you give me yours". I also don't like the idea of someone having my number and not having theirs; even if they promise they'll text me later or something, I guess I just don't like the idea of my number being out there and not knowing when they're going to text me. Does this make me an asshole for not wanting to give out my number in this case?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
gB41FwxslHfiIL0PelcxH3plIkMT6NMX
|
b0vvsa
|
{
"description": "not giving my professor's email to my classmate who had incurred absence because of medical reasons",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITAH for not giving my professor's email to my classmate who had incurred absence because of medical reasons?
|
Im taking a class in which I am the beadle so all inquries are sent to me and I give them to my professor. I have a classmate who was a late enrollee. But she just missed one class because of that late enrollment. Anyways she never went to class. She had not even had the chance to submit a class card(for attendance) because of her absences.
She asked me last week if I could ask our professor to excuse her from her absences and that she will submit a medical certificate. I relayed the message and our professor excused her and told her to come to class this week. She didn't. Medical reasons. She asked me again to relay her inquiry if she could take the exam next week. The professor did not agree because she incurred a lot of absences.
She asked me
How many absences did I incur in class?
To which I replied
All of them
She then asked if I could give her the email of our professor so that she can reason it out on her own.
I refused because I had no authority to give the email and because our professor might get mad at me.
AITAH?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
wrL3ZY54YSJO6CiELshvDlgRR5N6ISbl
|
aa0p0a
|
{
"description": "being upset that my boyfriend is blowing me off for his parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset that my boyfriend is blowing me off for his parents?
|
My boyfriend (N) and I are young, he still lives with his parents (he’s 17, I’m 18). He spends a lot of time with his family, especially recently, which is understandable because of the holidays. They’re going to the mountains on the 29th for a week, and a few days ago we made plans to go to this festival on the 28th (the day we went last year). I was really looking forward to this, but he just now (the morning before) told me that he wants to cancel because his parents want to watch a movie (the third night in a row they’d have a family movie night). I’m upset that he’s making plans with his parents and I’m asking him to not blow off our plans, AITA?
Additional info: I’m not upset about family time, I think it’s very important. But they’re spending almost every day/ night together, so I’m upset that he’s blowing off our night for ANOTHER night with family.... right before they all go to the mountains together.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
hx8UG9XyZKH2xZWV2Jzh5hhExflYO3jg
|
aunepz
|
{
"description": "not having sex with Girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA : For not having sex with Girlfriend
|
Ok so recently My girlfriend has been pretty pissed at me because I don’t have sex with her. She has been asking me for like two weeks but I have so much stress from work and I’m helping my cousin train for some cross country event. I just don’t have the energy for that. Well according to her that’s unfair for her because she has needs that I should be fulfilling according to her. This weekend she tried again but alas I was too exhausted and just wanted to play red dead 2 well she didn’t take that well and got pissed saying why can’t I even just eat her a lil bit. When I said my mouth was too tired she exploded and went on a her Spanish anger rant . She now has been cold and not talking to me. Am I In the wrong? Should I sastify her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
bDLYnnbzceDTvKupCQJla5SFjCF2MGEB
|
ajwzy1
|
{
"description": "not taking homecoming pictures off my instagram of my sister and her ex per her new boyfriend's request",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not taking homecoming pictures off my instagram of my sister and her ex per her new boyfriend's request?
|
First I'm gonna provide some context. About two years ago I met this guy named Sean, and after about 6 months of knowing each other we became very good friends. So much so that when homecoming rolled around during our sophomore year we decided to go together (I was still identifying as female) as friends. We went in a group with my sister and her date, my friend Robby. Everything was pretty fun as we took some bomb pictures.
After this, my sister broke up with Robby and started dating Sean. He started to hang out with me less, which I understand because he was dating someone and stuff, but still I feel like he just pushed me to the side. He didn't say anything about the homecoming pictures and I liked them, so I left them up.
Fast forward and they've been dating for a year. I come out as transgender (ftm) and I get a text from Sean a week later with no hello, no how have you been, just one text asking me to delete the homecoming pictures a year and a half after I posted them and a year after Sean started dating my sister. I asked him why and he got really mad and told me to just forget it, but I told him I'd delete it when he told me why I'd delete it so I could avoid it in the future.
He told me that it's not because I'm trans, which wasn't even a thought in my mind. Then he told me it was because Robby was in the picture with my sister and he didn't like seeing that, even though it was like the third thing I posted on Instagram so he'd have to go to my page and scroll all the way down.
He then called me some names, called me my deadname, and told me I was just a girl confused about my gender. I told him that if he didn't want to see them, then don't look at them. Then he called me more names, so I blocked him. My sister and my mom were mad at me for not just deleting the pictures.
Just a little bit of petty high school drama. Am I the asshole for not just deleting the pictures?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
LOJLVjopyaLQ0BQEnXbNe0Ry3d9Hq2ZG
|
arw5t6
|
{
"description": "not believing my housemate's mental health issue should get her out of cleaning",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not believing my housemate's mental health issue should get her out of cleaning?
|
A while ago I agreed to move in with a friend who worked out of town, and unbeknownst to me at the time, this friend's girlfriend decided to let her lease run out and move in too. Since the very start she has been disgusting. All of the stuff she moved in with was caked and covered in dirt, hair and grease and she dumped her mountains of stuff in every shared room in the house. I didn't see the red flags as verbally she kept saying she'd sort it out and I believed her.
​
We spoke about her moving some stuff into storage/the basement and cleaning her part but she always had an excuse. She couldn't because she was being bullied at work, then her father was going through legal trouble, then her job was too stressful. I ended up spending most weekends deep cleaning. Once it was habitable again I asked her to share a cleaning rota with me, she would clean one room every two weeks or we would get a cleaner. She agreed to clean herself. She cleaned once. And then a relative of hers died in a car accident and it hit her hard, obviously. So I laid off, and continued to do all of the cleaning and she continued to be a disgusting mess. I'm talking having to scrub her shit off the toilet and her pubes out of the bath, re-wash her dishes, throw her trash out. So on and so forth.
​
Since the accident, I've managed to get her to clean 3 more times. But every time is a battle, because I'm not taking into account her mental illnesses. The last time we spoke about this, over three months ago, she told me she was 'too depressed to clean' and that I needed to lay off.
​
Meanwhile, I work 70 hour weeks, I clean one day a weekend and work the other weekend day, I work well into the evening, sometimes I have to clean up in the evening too. She is still in bed by the time I get into work, she finishes an hour before me in the evening and spends all night doing whatever she wants, going out to dinner with friends or watching TV. She spends her weekends doing whatever she wants, going out with her boyfriend, staying in bed all day. I know that depression manifests itself in different ways, I myself have a long history of PTSD, but I strongly believe she is just using her 'depression' and 'anxiety' to live like a pig and exploit me. So, am I the asshole? Or should I accept that she's too depressed to clean and stop hating her for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
QiYiPH0wOg7oIzRkIXaUW3ohosOncApd
|
a9guhm
|
{
"description": "breaking up with a guy by (accidentally) lying to him",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up with a guy by (accidentally) lying to him.
|
On mobile so apologies ahead of time for any formatting issues.
Sort of a long story.
Alright, to preface, I’m a 20 year old female, and I haven’t had a lot of relationship experience. I dated a girl for around 2-3 years in highschool-freshman year of college and that’s it. I didn’t and for the most part still don’t find males that physically attractive, so I always sort of assumed I was a lesbian.
I ended up meeting a guy online while playing video games and we became fast friends. I really enjoyed his company. Eventually it got to the point where he asked me out and I accepted on the grounds I thought he was a good guy, and liked him thus far so I’d give it a shot. He had a good personality from what I had seen of him, and I feel like personality is what truly matters regardless of gender (I later learn the term for this would be demisexual).
Fast forward a few months to when I realize I’m pretty unhappy in this relationship. We don’t see eye to eye on pretty much anything, we’re basically polar opposites. He keeps making sexual jokes or innuendos directed at me despite me being vocal about not liking it. He’s pretty old fashioned in his views and a lot of it downright rubs me the wrong way. We have very little in common outside of us both liking the same video game.
And to top it all off he kept telling me he loved me and would talk about things in the future like we’d be together forever. I just felt like it was way too soon to be saying things like that and it made me very uncomfortable. At that point I loved him as a friend, not as a significant other.
To be fair to him though, he always treated me respectfully and with kindness. It’s not like I couldn’t stand him because he was being an asshole, our personalities just didn’t click AT ALL.
It got to the point where every thing he did would set me off. I knew I didn’t like him in a romantic way but he was so into me that I knew it would hurt him really badly to break up with him— and it did. He was absolutely crushed.
I finally got the courage to say something because I was downright miserable, and I told him I couldn’t be with him because he was a guy, and I liked girls. That I tried to see him that way but I just couldn’t.
I thought I was telling the truth at the time. In retrospect, I think I was using it as a way out, because I believed it (or at least convinced myself I did) and didn’t want to tell him it was also because I could no longer stand his personality in a relationship setting.
I am now happily in a relationship with another guy I met through a gaming club at college— and he makes me happier than anything in the world. It feels completely different from my previous relationship in a very good way.
But this also leaves me firmly demisexual and indeed not a lesbian.
Even if sort of unintentional I want to know if it was an asshole move to tell him I couldn’t be with him because of his gender.
I absolutely do not regret my decision to get out of that relationship but I do feel a bit bad about how I did it.
//And I think I dodged a bullet, because he ended up saying some really shitty and insulting things to me afterwards out of spite.
TL;DR: met a guy online, started dating, realized we didn’t really click at all and that he was making me miserable, broke up with him by telling him I was a lesbian, turns out I’m demisexual and just didn’t like who he was as a person.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
6WE2xb8tkqbkiKd9BfFe3zUToWjf6NcD
|
aj62uq
|
{
"description": "being annoyed with my family for constantly talking about my younger brothers engagement and not about mine while I am also engaged",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed with my family for constantly talking about my younger brothers engagement and not about mine while I am also engaged?
|
TL:DR My brother is essentially marrying someone that my family has never met and has not set a wedding date, and yet my family constantly talks about it and almost never brings up my engagement/wedding that ii only 4 months away.
​
Hey all, I'll try to give some context to better understand the situation. Sorry in advance if I seem to ramble, this might get long but I want to give the details that I think matter and play into all this. I am 26 and my younger brother is 22.
​
I am the oldest boy in my family and have 6 siblings (one older sister, one younger sister, one younger brother, two step-brothers, and a younger half-sister). So it's a mixed family but we are all close in age with exception of my half-sister, and we all get along pretty well. My full siblings and I were born a raised Mormon, and now that I have grown to adulthood I no longer practice within the church but still consider myself Mormon. Same thing for my younger sister. but my older sister and younger brother are still very active in the church and my younger brother served his mission, however I did not.
For those not familiar with the ins and outs of the Mormon religion, typically young men and women at the age of 18 can choose to serve a mission for the church which means they can be called (sent) to almost anywhere in the world where they will learn the language and preach the Mormon gospel to the people of that area. It is a choice (although there is a high amount of pressure for you to do it, especially for young men) and I made the choice not to go on mine. My younger brother chose to go on his and ended up going to Argentina to serve where he met his now fiance. But for more context understand that on a Mormon mission as a young man or a young woman you don't really spend much time with the opposite sex. You have a same sex companion (partner) that you live and work with to preach the gospel i.e. knocking on doors and such, and you may at times work with sister missionaries who also have a same sex companion to do group lessons and whatnot. But it is not like they are hanging out 2 on 2 in like a double date situation or anything. I might be wrong but I would guess that over the course of ones mission, you might get to spend in total maybe a couple of days worth of time with the same sister missionary but it would not be in like a hangout or date type setting. I say all of this because this is how my younger brother met his fiance and how he fell in love with her.
He served his 2 year mission and returned last year in February. We all met him at the airport to greet him as he walked out of the gate where within the first 5 minutes of reuniting with us he stated " I have a girlfriend and she lives in Mexico" (which is where his fiance was from, she was just also serving her mission in Argentina). We kind of chuckled and said sure (not knowing how serious he was) and continued to ask him about his mission and experiences. He then says later that day that he his planning on flying down to Mexico to see her in the next couple of weeks. He does this a few times actually and in about a month or two after returning home he flies to her again and proposes to her. I had my personal doubts about this because it seemed pretty sudden but over the last year I have since come to believe that my brother and his fiance are in fact in love with each other, although with them having a long distance relationship I think they are in for some challenges once they are married and living together. On top of that they have been going through the process of getting her a visa/citizenship so they she can come to the states and they can get married here. Over the last year this has been the biggest topic of discussion with my family and we are a little divided on it. Some are in full support of the whole situation (saying they are so excited to meet her and can't wait for the wedding), others think he's being a bit crazy in committing to this without having taken time to actually date this woman. I fall in between these two, I fully support him in wanting to get married, I believe him when he says he is in love (if he wasn't I wouldn't see why he would go through this whole citizenship process) but I have my worries about his security and quality of life post marriage. He is a student, just recently got a job as a busser and currently lives with my mom and two sisters. I'm just worried about his situation once everything is cleared and him and his fiance are able to get married here.
On the other hand, I met my fiance almost three years ago and we have been together ever since. My family immediately fell in love with her and with good reason because she truly is the sweetest woman I have ever been with. I have been bringing her around my family a lot throughout our relationship and she has even spent time with them without me being there, so they have really had a chance to get to know her. We moved in together 6 months ago and withing a month of the move I proposed to her. Prior to me proposing though I was constantly getting asked, borderline harassed about if or when I would be proposing to her, constantly telling me how much they loved her and how amazing she was or that I'd "never find a girl like her again" etc. So I propose, she says yes, and we start the process of planning our wedding.
Here is where I start to wonder AITA; I am not having a traditional Mormon wedding, I am having just your standard wedding i.e. ceremony, reception (with dj, dancing, bar, cake etc.). Basically the whole nine yards. My brother is having a traditional Mormon wedding i.e. getting married in the temple (which only a handful of people can actually attend, myself not included), followed by a reception at the church which is most commonly just a stop by, say congrats, maybe eat some food, and then leave. so there is much more involved in my wedding than his, but that's not to say that his is any less exciting. My biggest issue is that because if the immigration process my brother and his fiance do not have a wedding day set since they have no real idea of when she will be able to move here and get married. I on the other hand will be getting married in 4 months, but yet every time my fiance drive to spend time with my family the conversation at some point in the night turns to my brother and his engagement and the immigration battle he is fighting and all of that, and nothing is ever said about my engagement or PLANNED AND UPCOMING wedding. I honestly had really realized this until about 2 months ago when my fiance said something about along the lines of "why doesn't your family say anything about our engagement? And why do they bring up your brother so much?"
I realize his struggles outweigh mine in a sense, but since then I can't stop thinking about it and notice it more and more. I literally had my fiance right next to me at Christmas as we said goodbye to my grandfather and he said "bye it was good seeing you two! Have you heard anything from your brother yet about his wedding?" (he was in Mexico at the time visiting her). I responded '"No I haven't heard from him, but you got my wedding invitation in the mail right?!"
​
AITA?
​
\*Sorry for spelling and grammar errors
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"description": "telling my brother to F*** off and destroying the plant vase in my house",
"pronormative_score": 8,
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AITA For telling my brother to F*** Off and destroying the plant vase in my house?
|
So I have a Chemistry test on Monday and I need to study for it. I go into my room and my brother is blasting music at full volume and I tell him to please use headphones so I can concentrate. We share a room unfortunatetly. Can't study in the kitchen because my sister is doing her stuff and it's usually very cold there. So I have nowhere to concentrate. I spend 40min begging my brother to keep it down and I was being as nice as possible but he doesn't and said he didn't care if I had to study or not so I went to my mother. I asked her 3-5 times if she can please tell my brother to use headphones and she ignores me and starts singing some song on purpose to get me away. I call my dad on my phone (he works later than my mom) if he can please tell my brother to stop and I get no answer (which makes sense since he is busy at work).
My parents go insane if I get a grade below an A because I must go to the best college and all that crap so I put in a significant amount of effort into my school work and exams at all time and make sure I'm top of the class in all my subjects and I spend hours upon hours studying everyday to the point where I barely hang out with friends so it's a little frustrating.
Since my mother didn't care and my dad won't pick up and I can't chase my sister out of the kitchen I go back to my room and beg again and he wouldn't stop. So I tell my brother to fuck off and he goes and reports me to my mother and she starts screaming and shouting at me and says that I shouldn't corrupt her kids and I should corrupt myself and if she takes my Nintendo switch from me. I'm beyond pissed at this point because they want me to get good grades yet when I need the quietness to study to achieve these graded they wouldn't help me tell my brother to be quiet.
I get into an argument with my mother and asked her why she didn't do anything when I complained and I slammed the door and then the plant vase fell from the windowsill and broke...and I feel pretty awful since it was a nice one
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RIGHT
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afvwbj
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{
"description": "refusing to pay utilities",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for refusing to pay utilities?
|
I’ll try my best to keep this nice & short- but I need honestly here it has been absolutely deceiving me nuts the past two weeks
There’s 4 of us, we live in an off campus apartment complex. It’s not the nicest place ever but it’s a step up from the dorms so that’s nice- plus it’s all students. We all “rent by the room” and share the common areas, meaning we have individual leases. (Which is important later)
I originally rented as a student going to university- but right before the semester started I had a family financial crisis where I was then put in a situation where I was now financially responsible for my own expenses (car loan, student loan payments, rent, utilities, gas, groceries) so I did what I had to do and dropped out of college to support all this in the meantime. Took on two jobs initially for about 3-4 months of living there.
When this was all going down I had let them know about it all- “this is why I am no longer a student. This is why I have 2 jobs, the rent here is a bit expensive and since I’m no longer a student I’ll be looking to move out” they knew all of this months before I moved out.
About a month ago I moved out officially, payed a hefty fee with the apartment complex to vacate the place (it was in between semesters, and it’s not really a desirable place to live in so needless to say I couldn’t find anyone to sublet my lease, which is ok. Not upset about that)
Luckily I was able to find a better job with better pay- I can afford the rent of both places comfortably but it’s not like I’m swimming in money or anything. I’m still a 20 year old here.
But I no longer have the keys to the place, the complex knows I’ve vacated (since I had to pay nearly $500 to do so) and I haven’t stepped a foot in since. But since I still have my lease I still pay for the room- which is OK. that’s my consequence to this situation. I understand that
About 2 weeks ago I started getting bombarded with texts from the 2 roommates there who handle the utilities. They sent me Venmo requests for the utilities. I initially thought this was a mistake so in our group chat I simply said “hi I no longer live here and no longer use utilities” and man did I get a shit storm response coming my way. Something about how “I agreed verbally to pay, and that they still need to heat the vacant room” ??? I don’t think I need to pay the gas AND electricity bill to heat my room- that’s $20+ of THEIR living expenses- not mine! I understand the heat the room situation though- the apartment complex advised me to close the vent in the room so I did. No heat goes into it, it’s not even close to the thermostat.
I texted the one roommate who handles the electric bill that I’m not paying $20 for the logic that is to “heat my room”. Since the gas & electric bill covers more than that. (Lights, electronics, computers, hot showers, washer and dryer, cooking on the stove) that’s just not the correct math. But I’ll pay the $4 to “heat my room” she never responded.
Yesterday the gas bill came and same thing, I denied the Venmo and a shit storm of texts came through...about how they “have to pay for the heat in MY room” and how I’m being “childish for not texting them” even though I did. They never responded to me.
I’m at my wits end here. I’m starting to feel like the crazy one here but everyone I’ve spoken to on this just can’t believe that they’re trying to make someone who doesn’t live there still pay utilities.
Am I the asshole here?
My thought process here:
1) payed a fee to vacate the apartment
2) I still pay the $600 rent there
3) I have my OWN living expenses! Why should I pay theirs now?
4) I don’t even have a key to the place anymore
5) the one heat vent is closed in the room
6) their parents pay for their rent/utilities..this comes out of my pocket. Me not paying the 1/4 of the utilities means $3-$4 gets added to their bill- that’s not a whole lot
TL;DR: am I an asshole for no longer paying utilities in an apartment I no longer live in?
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AITA about sons girlfriend
|
So my son and his girlfriend are high school aged and have been dating for over a year. At first when she came over I tried to have polite conversation about her, school, her family, etc. She interrupts a lot, tells pretty grandiose lies about how much money her family has and the things she buys them and even when you try to share a funny/interesting story she will "one up" your story about how something similar happened to her but it was funnier or more interesting. Ok, fine. She's young and immature and I get that. I tend to let them hang out in the family or game rooms and kind of avoid having long conversations with her at all as I usually just end up frustrated.
Now a year or so later she texts or messages me questions all the time about whether or not my son can come over her place or go out with her family. I've told him several times that I won't respond to those texts as he is my son and if he wants to arrange these things he needs to come to me. She persists. She sent out a message asking for ideas on baby names using our last name. Baby names. (She's not pregnant by a long shot). She insists on telling me all about how attractive she finds my son and how much she loves him which is very uncomfortable on my end. Now I get teenage girls are notorious about doing things like this with their friends but with your boyfriends mom? She had their whole future planned out which included moving into our home after school was completed. Again, it's just weird and unsettling that she finds nothing out of the ordinary about saying these things to me and my husband. She also "forgot" her key once and took the bus to my house where there was no adult supervision because I was at work. Thankfully I was able to get another family member to get over there and "babysit" the teenagers. She never forgot her key to her house again.
The straw that broke the camels back happened not to long ago. She came over to visit and my sisters children were over. While I was sitting right in the room she asks the youngest (4 YO) who she loves more, her or her 10 YO sister. I am in shock and at first just try to figure out if I really heard what I thought I heard. The youngest chooses her and her sister gets teary immediately. I cut in at that point saying it was not an "appropriate joke" and separate her from them. Later, I inform my son gf is not allowed over around his cousins and why. She's young but plenty old enough to know that was just a hurtful thing to do.
My husband and my other kids absolutely cannot stand her and cringe every time she comes over to visit. She's rude and obnoxious and I have not banned her from visiting but it is rather close.I'd love to say I have tried to forgive some of the things listed above but she never sees anything wrong with her behavior and refuses to apologize.
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "being annoyed after I ghosted my friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
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|
AITA for being annoyed after I ghosted my friend?
|
Recently I've been struggling with my mental health. I've taken time out of University to try to deal with it so I'm staying at home with my parents right now. I only have one friend here and we've been friends for over ten years and because I'm home we've been hanging out a bit. Never loads because I can't cope with that. I don't particularly enjoy going out and it's tiring to be with her.
​
Anyway, last week my mood crashed and I felt that it was impossible to keep our plans. Instead of saying anything, I just didn't go on Facebook. We'd arranged to meet up twice over the weekend and one of them was a food event we had to get tickets for. These were free, you just had to have one so they knew how many people were going. I didn't go online for five days and didn't talk to anyone but my parents and my therapist. I knew the entire weekend that she would be super pissed at me but I couldn't face speaking to her.
​
Cut to today. I was reading some blog posts online and came across one about fighting social anxiety. It gave me the push I needed to get onto Facebook and send a long message explaning that I'd been really down and that I knew I shouldn't have vanished but I didn't have the courage to go online and message her. She replied 'ok'.
​
Reading the messages she'd sent over the past five days showed that she hadn't gotten worried about me, just angry. That upset me because it seems that no matter how much I share about my mental health her replies are, almost word for word: 'that's not good' and 'do this thing and you might feel better'. I know that doesn't sound bad but it's literally all she says and then we'll talk about other stuff. It upsets me because I try to take into account her feelings all the time. I felt awful all weekend because I knew I was hurting her and she doesn't even seem to care that I feel like shit. And she complains to me all the time about everything wrong in her life and I listen and listen and try as hard as I can to be supportive.
​
But I do tend to avoid messaging her and I've done stuff like this in the past (although not to this extent). I don't try to arrange to meet up because she does it first and I never know what to do or if she'll be interested in what I suggest. Maybe I'm just the shitty friend? I don't know. Please help me out here - am I the asshole?
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WRONG
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|
a1rpn7
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{
"description": "wanting a promotion",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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}
|
AITA for wanting a promotion?
|
I work in a service department that has an operations manager overseeing 5 team managers.
Each manager has a team of service engineers at varying skill levels (I'm at the top level which is seen as an assistant manager and service engineer in one)
My manager is about 2 years away from retirement and has been mentoring me because he wants me to take over the team once he retires. The other team managers and the ops manager are all on board with this.
3 months ago my boss was signed off sick and I was asked to step up and "keep the plates spinning" until he returned to work. I have been doing my job plus many of my managers duties since then and have had positive feedback from everyone and I'm confident I have been doing a good job.
My problem is that I'm stuck in limbo until I know if/when my manager is going to return to work. I had a conversation with the ops manager and explained that I feel like I'm being taken advantage of because I'm doing the work of a manager with no promotion or extra compensation and no idea when things will change.
His reply was that there's currently no vacancy for a manager and with regards to compensation I'll have to trust him!? (he has end of year targets to hit and cares about little else this time of year)
I feel like there will never be a vacancy as long as there's some idiot (me) doing the job for free. I can understand him not wanting to upset my manager, and neither do I. I have a lot of respect for the guy and he's fantastic at the job.
I don't want to go back to my old role, I want the extra responsibility but not without the title and pay that goes with it.
It's left me feeling pissed off and guilty at the same time.
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{
"description": "threatening my dad with theft",
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|
AITA for threatening my dad with theft
|
My dad and I are polar opposites as in he likes to go out and run in the park and I would much rather play onto my Xbox and he doesn’t like that.
When I was 8 we got into a argument and he ended up breaking my Xbox 360 I told every one that year for Christmas how much I wanted a new gaming console and my grandma needed up giving me a ps4 but he did not like that because he knew how much time I would spend on it and ended up throwing it down the stairs and stomping on it.
My grandma (furious) bought me a Xbox1 and I’ve had it ever since telling my dad if he was to ever break it I would take his money and buy a new one
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{
"description": "asking my friend not bring his gf to social gatherings",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my friend not bring his gf to social gatherings
|
I have known a good friend for more than 15 years. We are both in our thirties and have professional and high-stress jobs. When we meet every 6 months (he lives in Australia), we talk about our jobs. We talk about the details to the long term issues of where to work. We also act like fools at times - mocking each other etc..
He just started his first long term relationship with a woman. He brings her everywhere including casual gatherings. I don't mind her as a person. She is friendly and not confrontational. During one encounter (just us three), we were talking in our job-related jargon and she seemed insanely bored. I realize she was excluded and apologized. She got up and wanted to leave -- my friend naturally left with her. For a few times after that, she still attended and came with him. I tried to steer the conversation to neutral topics such as movies, politics, romantic lives etc... However, it wasn't as good as letting "loose" and being unfiltered. I spoke to my friend and asked if I was a third wheel. He denied this assertion. He even admitted that it is better to let loose and talk about our jobs. I asked him to not to invite his gf and let her do things on her own. However, he feels that not inviting her is a betrayal. He said he did talk about it and will address it. To date, I am not sure the depth or extent of their conversation.
When we still hang out every six months, she still comes all the time. She still acts uninterested in our conversations and our jocular approach to teasing each other. She often will go on her phone, and force digressions. At this point, I told him I think it's better that I don't attend some of our hang-outs. He wasn't upset but kept insisting I am over-reacting. I do feel lousy for giving a bizarre ultimatum, but things aren't the same with a gf around. I also feel conflicted about being too irrational.
Edit: Sorry for the grammar mistake in my post title.
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{
"description": "getting offended that a new person in our friend group did not follow me back on Instagram and subsequently decided to unfollow them",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for getting offended that a new person in our friend group did not follow me back on Instagram and subsequently decided to unfollow them?
|
A friend in our friend group started dating someone and we welcomed her with open arms. The first night we all hung out, they stayed at my house and we all had coffee and ate breakfast together the next day. My friend and her relationship seems like it’s getting serious, so I want us all to be friends.
I don’t really use Facebook, but do regularly use instagram. So I followed her and she has not followed me back. She regularly posts and even liked one of my comments on my friends post. AITA or is she an immature weirdo? I extended hospitality to her, thought we were bonding over drinks the night before and coffee the next day. She follows my other friends back on Instagram. I’m offended and think this is rude. But part of me says I’m being an asshole because it’s just social media and to stop taking it so seriously. But at the same time it’s how people keep in touch and she followed our other friends back, so what is her deal against me? AITA?
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
b83zwu
|
{
"description": "telling my future MIL that she can't see her future grandchildren",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for telling my future MIL that she can't see her future grandchildren?
|
Recent events have made me question my choice to give my girlfriend's mother an ultimatum regarding her future rights to see her as-of-yet unborn grandchildren. My girlfriend is currently saddled with over $15,000 in *her mother's debt* that was put in credit cards/student loans under my girlfriend's name, and she is intent to get a second job just to help pay off debt that isn't hers.
Apparently, my girlfriend started borrowing her mother money at 16 as things at the household were tight, but under the table payments in cash, which certainly isn't counted in that first total, eventually turned into credit cards after her mom maxed out her own and tanked her credit score.
My future MIL has consistently said that she would pay these back, and took out loans that she promised would be applied to the debt. However, she instead used these loans to pay for vehicles, a tummy-tuck, and trips. For one of these loans, my girlfriend took a lean out on *her own vehicle* as collateral for the loan.
I recently broke when two separate events compounded to give me the impression that this woman will never pay my girlfriend back. The first of these events took place back in December when, as legal guardian of my girlfriend's twin half-siblings, took money from their savings accounts to pay down debt. This money had been given to them by their father to set up college funds and they had no knowledge of the withdrawal. They are 13 years old and certainly do not track those accounts.
The second incident, and the tipping point, occurred last week. My girlfriend pays her family's general expenses for the month and is then repaid when her mom gets her paycheck. She lives at home (for the moment) and thinks this is fine as she has never had much of an issue in being repaid. Her mother has now missed 2 payments and this week came to her asking for an extra $600 to pay the water bill which is apparently overdue by multiple months.
She called asking me what to do and I said to refuse to pay it. She has her own expenses and it is too large of a financial strain to deal with. Her mother and her got in a shouting match that had a lot of, "You live under my roof!" from my understanding. The two are now at odds, and I am in the middle of it.
When I came over to go on a weekend getaway, I told her mother that if my girlfriend paid off a single one of her credit cards, she would never see her grandchildren. She then went on a tirade about how horrible that was, and that I was brainwashing her daughter into hating her family. She has since spread rumors to all of her children and other family members about how terrible and manipulative I have been. My girlfriend is entirely behind me and wants to GTFO of her house to avoid feeling obligated to assist her mother.
So Reddit, am I the asshole here?
TLDR; Girlfriend saddled with $15,000 in her mom's debt. I told her mom she would never see her grandchildren if GF pays it herself.
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b10y9w
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{
"description": "taking my video games when I moved out",
"pronormative_score": 17,
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|
AITA for taking my video games when I moved out?
|
I’ve (19M) been living at my parents house for a long time. During that time, I’ve bought a lot of consoles and video games. I have a little brother (12M) who plays with those video games a lot to. Recently, I moved out into my own apartment with my girlfriend and I took all the video games that were mine. The problem is that my little brother is mad at me because I took all the games he’s been playing with, without asking him. I thought that I could, since they are mine, and I understand it’s not cool for him. Now I feel confused because my parents are saying it was a dick move to take all the games. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
40MhZgm9Ph2rMpcG8kLrGxwVO8Va0UvR
|
an6bw0
|
{
"description": "allowing men to stay with me in a hotel room I already said other women in my program could also stay in",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for allowing men to stay with me (f) in a hotel room I already said other women in my program could also stay in (allowing everyone to stay)?
|
I am going to a conference related to what I am studying in graduate school. I am lucky enough that I could get a hotel room on site at the conference. The hotel allows me to have up to 6 people in the room so I offered space to other students in my cohort for free as I know that there are a lot of financial limitations to going to conferences.
​
The first person to reach out to me was Abby who is part of my cohort. She asked me if she and her husband Brent could stay with me. I told her that she was welcome to, but that I did not really want to have Brent staying with us as I would rather save the space for other students in our cohort. Abby said she was unsure if she would come but asked me to hold space for her for the time being.
​
Next, Claire and Debby, both members of my cohort reached out to me about staying with me. I told them that was fine.
​
After that Eric (a cohort member) reached out saying that him and Frank planned to stay in a hostel but if I still had room they would be interested in staying with me. I told both of them it was fine as well. Frank is in the same year as me and my cohort but in a slightly different field and a separate cohort from mine. He attends school in the same place and I have had multiple classes with him, the conference is relevant to both of the fields.
​
Then the issues started. Abby is angry at me because Frank is technically not part of our cohort and I said that I was only allowing cohort members and that is why her husband Brent could not stay with us (who is not in graduate school and works full time in an unrelated field). I tried to explain my reasoning to Abby and she said she understood but is still upset.
​
Then Debby reached out to me. She texted me that Claire and she are not comfortable staying with men and that I shouldn’t have allow them to stay with us. She is telling me I am being unfair and that Claire and her already bought tickets to the conference that they can’t get refunded but that they don’t feel comfortable staying with men. They also said because they knew I said Brent couldn’t stay with me they assumed that no men would be staying in the room.
​
They feel that since Eric and Frank had already planned to stay at a hostel I should just tell them to go back to their original plan, and only let women stay with me.
​
On the originally message I sent to the group I didn’t specify anything about gender, as I am comfortable staying with anyone.
​
I kind of feel like a dick that people are out money and now have no where to stay for the conference. AITA?
​
TL;DR I have a hotel room for a conference and decided to let both men and women stay with me and now some of the women are upset.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ngwaukuWiFXFZbTyXZ9sMweBfbWkv6ZP
|
9ydhdy
|
{
"description": "tattooing my boyfriend while he was sleeping",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for tattooing my boyfriend while he was sleeping?
|
My boyfriend of 2 years has been talking about getting another tattoo for a long time now, specifically a small cursive name of his mother.
We haven’t had the money recently since we live pretty much paycheck to paycheck, even if the tattoo is cheap it still could hurt us in the long run later.
So I decided to tattoo it for him while he was sleeping with some stick and poke. It didn’t come out perfect but I had thought that he would love it even more since I was the one who gave it to him.
But he reacted horribly, saying that it wasn’t okayed by him and it wasn’t the font he wanted.
We’ve been fighting nonstop since, and I don’t know when it’s gonna end.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
jJhAWtMzwi4EffyRBH7ktgwyF794P0ev
|
9z7xes
|
{
"description": "being annoyed at my friend for self-diagnosing",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being annoyed at my friend for self-diagnosing?
|
As a general rule, I hate people who self-diagnose themselves with mental illnesses. But my friend says that she has anxiety, despite never having been diagnosed with it.
According to her, the reason she doesn't have a diagnosis is because her anxiety is preventing her from asking her parents if she can see a therapist. She says she has panic attacks and has difficulty talking to people, but from what I know she's just as anxious as a typical teenager.
She also refuses to talk in front of our class because of her anxiety. Everyone else hates talking in front of the class, but we all know that public speaking is an important skill to practice. Obviously, it really pisses me off when she talks over other students and our teacher. If she hates talking in front of people, why is she okay with doing that after being repeatedly told to stop?
Anyway, I'm not sure whether or not she has anxiety. The fact that she says she does without a diagnosis makes me really angry at her. Am I the asshole for being angry about this, and would I be the asshole if I told her that she should stop saying she has anxiety unless she gets diagnosed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
7cz5rb6IlH4UT8fQ5pBV6Qu1jC6IkYBT
|
aig8dj
|
{
"description": "trolling Americans while on holiday",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for trolling Americans while on holiday?
|
I'm on holiday in Portland Oregon by myself for 4 weeks to see my cousins. My cousins are 17M, 18F and 12M.
So there really is not much to do here or see. And my uncle won't take me to other states in the US, so I have just been causing havoc when I can.
For example, when my cousin (17M) introduced me to his group of friends, I brought up how I like Donald Trump (not because I actually do, but because I knew it'd probably piss them off). There was a huge argument because of what I said, but I wanted this to happen and found it really funny lol.
With my other cousin's friends (18F), I brought up how god isn't real and religion is dumb (they're quite hardcore christian) and it caused them to get offended.
I've been doing this all because i am bored and because i like the chaos, i know it sounds edgelord but i find it really funny how riled up some americans get over these topics, though I guess I understand since they live there.
I've been thinking my parents sent me here for a reason but I can't see much of any, so I just keep trolling...does this make me a bad person? Can it just be considered fun?
**And I am from England.**
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
ydQjlqHSSu6GoijjcvQlMlz2WJ1rIQ4O
|
atccqo
|
{
"description": "not tipping",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Tipping?
|
I am a firmer believer in tipping. I tip every time I go out to restaurants or bars, regardless of service. I understand that some people are just having a bad day and they aren't intentionally giving poor service. However, I don't ever tip when I pick up a pizza from pizza Hut. I know everyone there is paid an hourly wage that isn't dependent upon tips. Does it make me an asshole for not tipping them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TX4Hfd9QbJBEXOMvYjGi5NA3sJPhXoEu
|
aar0zf
|
{
"description": "ending a friendship with an autistic kid",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I end a friendship with an autistic kid?
|
It all started the beginning of this school year. I was new at the school and I was sitting at lunch. This kid came up to me and shook my hand. I thought, okay yea that's a little weird. I found out later that literally no one liked him and I wondered why. Soon I found out why. He has a hell of a temper and will start yelling whenever you slightly provoke him.
One day it got kinda physical. He's a short kid, about the height of me, and he asked if I thought he'd win in a fight against me. He's pretty weak so I said nah. He was challenging me and I kept telling him I really wasn't interested. Then, he started stabbing me with a fork asking if it hurt. I said no, because I don't like showing weakness and ect. due to past bullying. As I got home it was bruised.
He will also make sexual remarks with me. Such as: Pretending to slap my ass in the halls and whenever I'm taking my sweater off he'll motion to my other friend like "you like that dont'cha?"
So, would I be the asshole to stop this friendship? He makes me very uncomfortable but I'm his only friend.
TLDR: I met this autistic kid and I'm his only friend but he makes me very uncomfortable.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eDlKOWZl4yXPwdlMyzqjcuPPEUc8l8D9
|
9uroc7
|
{
"description": "not helping my boyfriend with college applications",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping my boyfriend with college applications?
|
Just throwing it out there, he's 17 and I just turned 18, we're both seniors in highschool and I'm stressing out big time about college applications. I have a 2.3 GPA (not good I know), but I still have a decent amount of colleges that are reasonable for me to apply to. However, my boyfriend is in the same boat as me, except his GPA is higher and we both got the same test score. He plans on applying to the same schools as me, and some of his own as well. I helped him get started by helping him with the common app questions and his college essays, no biggie. But after a while, I got burnt out. He constantly brings up college applications, asking for my help because he feels he can't do them on his own, while im still worrying about my deadlines, and the schools that require auditions (sound recording technology major). Am I the asshole for going silent for a couple days after I've asked him multiple times to slow down on mentioning college, and not wanting to help him any more than I already have?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
DAuh4xDJjXhmCdQ272Vbd34b7alZCsi6
|
b7b2sx
|
{
"description": "banning my son's friend from our house",
"pronormative_score": 82,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for banning my son’s friend from our house?
|
Towards the end of last fall my 16 year old son started bringing a friend over to our house. He’s a nice enough kid, but over the course of this winter he’s basically inserted himself into our family.
Now he comes over every day after school and spends the night frequently on weekends. He only has his mother in his life and she’s not home a lot. She’s a whole other story of entitlement. The second time we met her she asked us for money.
Back to my son’s friend though, he’s always bringing his issues and dramas with him to our house. Often I feel like his therapist. It would be different if I didn’t also have two young children in addition to my son, but I do and adding an troubled teen to the mix has just been frustrating and mentally tiring.
It’s all come to a head though. He smokes although he denies it. There have been multiple times I’ve smelled cigarette smoke on him. Earlier in the week one of their teachers caught them both smoking in the dugout at their school.
My punishment for my son was no going out and no friends over for a week. I’m going to also ban this particular friend from coming over. At least on week days. I don’t know yet. I’d like to ban him completely, but I do feel bad. I haven’t fully made my mind up yet.
My husband doesn’t usually come home until later on so he’s not as bothered by his presence as I am, but since I’m the one to deal with and feed the boy my husband is deferring to me on this. I just have enough on my plate, I really don’t need all the problems he brings with him and now he’s becoming a bad influence on my son.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 44,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 82,
"WRONG": 21
}
|
RIGHT
|
iUuHwVmixmbTKIH9j3tCL2Mz9ahxBChs
|
a38mkp
|
{
"description": "asking my friends/family to unfriend my ex on Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for asking my friends/family to unfriend my ex on Facebook?
|
For context, I was married for about 5 years, no kids, now divorced for about a year and a half. It was a pretty peaceful split all things considered.
A few of my important friends and family members are still Facebook friends with my ex. I don’t have Facebook, but these friends and family make posts about me and my current life. My ex has contacted me about their posts and it seems clear to me that the posts is feeding an unhealthy habit: checking up on me. While I’ve moved on, it’s clear to me my ex has fallen into a deep depression and isn’t doing well.
The people I’d want to ask to unfriend the ex are my parents and my very best friends.
I don’t want my ex knowing anything about my personal life. Unfortunatley we’re still somewhat tied to each other financially so I can’t stop the contact altogether.
Would I be the asshole for asking my close friends and family to unfriend my ex?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
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