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tJHmA9uLA92oU84fIbgMW9Sn9R72eJFl
|
b22fg8
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my cousin's baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my cousin’s baby shower?
|
Okay, so I’m very close with my father’s side of the family, but not very close with my mother’s. My mother’s cousin is having a baby shower in April, and she really wants me to come. I told her I didn’t want to because I hardly know her, and she was really upset. She’s done this multiple other times when trying to bring me to family gatherings, and I hate being guilt tripped into it just because they’re “family.” I’ve tried to explain that I hardly know these people, and I would really prefer not to be thrown into an event where I’m supposed to know everyone. If I could meet them one at a time, I’d be fine, but she always tries to bring me to full on family gatherings. She won’t listen to me or even show that she understands where I’m coming from, because all she cares about is how “disgusting” I am for not wanting to spend time with her family even though I’ll spend time with my father’s. So, AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
UwtTaQ874mv8Ti6ub2ei63E6T6RTAWuT
|
anppea
|
{
"description": "trying to fix my bike",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for trying to fix my bike
|
Alright so here is the back story,
I always ride my bike to school and it's a nearly 24km ride there so I don't pay full attention the whole ride, Because it snowed that day the roads were kind of slippery. when I tried to take a sharp turn I fell, I was alright because the snow kind of softened my fall but my bikes lamp was totally destroyed. It was pretty dark each morning so I really needed my lamp fixed, I told my dad and the next dat we went to get my lamp fixed.
Me= me ofc
Dad= my dad
W1= the guy that fixed my bike
W2= prob the boss there but I am not sure
Me: dad please don't make a scene (I knew that my dad will say anything that is on his mind at that moment without hesitation).
Dad: alright, I will try.
That was already a bad thing because my dad almost always gives a straight answer. I should also note that I have an e-bike so the lamp itself already around €70 to buy.
I rode my bike into their garage so that W1 could mount the lamp and we enter the store, my dad and I noticed that W1 didn't really know how to mount the lamp because it had to be connected to the engine (not sure if that's what it is called), ofcourse he had some idea on how to mount it but he wasn't sure about it which already kind of ticked my dad off. They didn't tell us anything about the mounting price and if we would mount it at home we would lose our 2 year Guarantee on the bike.
After 44 minutes W1 was done with mounting the lamp and my dad was ready to pay.
W1: alright sir that is €125,-
Dad: excuse me, the lamp was €70 and there is no way that mounting it costs €55
W1: sir it's €75 an hour on these bikes
Dad(who is pissed that he almost payed 2x the price): hey W2, is this real? €75 an hour? We have been going here for over 20 years, can't we have atleast a bit of a discount?
Note: I think that it's a bit fair to get a discount if you have been buying all your bikes in that shop for 20+ years. My dad also went to an online shop to see how expensive the lamp was there and it was around €20, he googled that before buying so he already knew he was paying way to much.
W2: sorry sir but it is what it is, we are kind of precise on the prices and it doesn't matter if you went here for 20+
Dad: alright so I'm paying €70 for a lamp that I can buy for €20 online and €55 for the mounting that I could've done myself with the help of Google in under 40 minutes, ofcourse I would lose some benefits that I have for my bike but I would save €105.
W2: I see how it is sir you just want me to give it to you for free.
My dad absolutely riddled by this explanation: W-no? I just thought that I would atleast get a bit of a discount because I am paying 6x the amount that I could've spend, im happy to pay 110 for it which is still way more than I should be spending for this stuff.
W2: that's not gonna happen
Dad: son just grab your bike I will pay 6x the normal amount.
W1 opened the garage door with a tired look in his whole posture and I waited for about 6-8 minutes outside before I went back inside to get my still angry dad to stop talking to these people and go home.
Conclusion: I think that my dad is more in the wrong here even if he had been going to that store for 20+ years, it'd love to hear what you guys think tho.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
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NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
spk2KFzOCiqzeQtw2ZFjcr6ucVnDpvHp
|
aqbf26
|
{
"description": "saying feminism is not needed in modern days society",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for saying feminism is not needed in modern days society?
|
So basically my sister was talking about how women are so oppressed and that they need more rights but I said that men and women have equal rights and feminism is not needed. She got really mad after I said that saying that I am a big asshole and a sexist asshole. So reddit am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
61e3DkElk23mCTo2mnKo55F7a7H5yUR7
|
b4qh2h
|
{
"description": "not letting my 14 year old sister befriend a 20 year old man",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my 14 year old sister befriend a 20 year old man?
|
Hello, I am a 19 year old married to a 20 year old. We had taken in my 14 year old sister from my unfit mother and parenting has been hard.
My husband was raised as basically 'do whatever you wanted'. His mother let him do anything he wanted whenever. However I was raised kinda like normal kids with restrictions.
Anyways. I want to be strict with my sister. She is 14 and has already lost her virginity. Shes done drugs and other things in her old life. My goal is to be stricter but teach her along the way. My husband believes shes smart enough to do whatever she wants.
She has been on Xbox a lot and made some friends one being a 20 year old man. She talks to him a lot and has been deleting messages on Xbox between the two of them. I want to put a stop to a 20 year old man talking to my 14 year old sister but my husband is saying I'm a jerk and I need to let her do what she wants because "it's just xbox". I've seen these letsnotmeet stories and other stories. He also thinks that whatever she talks about with her friends isnt out business, I disagree.
Am I The Asshole for doing this? We have really hit some crossroads.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xag5sR0yQCvPA2jh9FcAYums6HSXqNsr
|
aoe983
|
{
"description": "making my friend change the date for a kickback on the friends he invited",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making my friend change the date for a kickback on the friends he invited?
|
As college students, me and my group of friends were trying to set up a kickback in our large-ish room. Most of us had never gotten drunk with each other and wanted to do it with people we were good friends with. Just a few buds, ready to see what we are all like buzzed. However, one of my 3 roommates just said this the day after we all talked about having a kickback: "Is it okay that I invited some (5) of my friends to the kickback?" Of course we said yes to him, because he said "invited", but now we will end up having almost 15 people in a single room where we can sit 8-10 people and that's a bit much, so now we're considering making his friends come for a kickback a day later than our original kickback.
Now, is that a dick move for us to do? The kickback is supposed to be tomorrow night, so is this too late to change the date?We never gave him permission to invite these friends, he asked if it was okay that he already had, and that we don't actually know ANY of these people. All of us are really insistent on the idea of only getting drunk around people we are comfortable friends with. This ends up violating this tendency that we haven't really discussed with him as well as not giving us a genuine chance to consider inviting them or not. Is it unfair of us to believe that we have the right to say that only those that all of us know are invited? Keep in mind all of the people in our friend group have NEVER seen or talked to a single one of these five people, whereas every other person is a good friend of everyone else in the group. I feel like these issues are very important and justifiably so but I would like to hear an outside perspective on this issue as I may be looking at it from an extremely biased view. Thanks for all of the help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
U5fiE8N7TvrrymxJjBa0mqpTKkVYOoHu
|
afhuwz
|
{
"description": "kicking my boyfriend out",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for kicking my boyfriend out?
|
I live with my sister and her boyfriend (our names are on the lease). My boyfriend and I have broken up at least ten times throughout the course of our relationship so he’s been in and out for about a year. Today was the final straw though. He’s always been mentally, verbally and physically abusive - but only when he drinks excessively - and I’ve taken him back numerous times with empty promises of “changing” and “never drinking liquor again”. He’s honestly the devil when he drinks and I’m literally terrified of him. He told me today, in a fit of anger, that he hated me, wanted me to die, would send a hit man to kill me and my family and also threatened my car (amongst other kind of useless things in comparison). It’s about -20 right now, we’re in Canada, his phone is dead and he has nowhere to go. I feel horrible cause he’s paid his share of rent and technically has every right to be here but I double checked all the locks, locked my own room and am just here crying silently in the dark on my bed thinking about everything. I know this was the right thing to do and this might be labelled a shit post but I have a crazy big heart and I feel like a total asshole right now.
Side note: I did go running after him and poured my heart out and all he did was shout at me, vehemently deny what he said/did and didn’t even chase after me when I walked away from him (my place was less than a block away).
Wtf am I supposed to do and can someone please tell me I made the right decision cause I’m all sorts of conflicted right now and I would never call the cops on him cause he has a criminal record and he’s on probation but I really love him, his family, and know liquor for some reason just turns him into a person he really isn’t... he’s completely amazing otherwise though and we never fight if he doesn’t drink but gahhhh I just feel so lost and alone and I can’t really talk to my family about it cause we broke up on Christmas for a very similar reason and they all hated on me when I took him back last time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
9qiM4Rv0OaubSmWsePrSbYghasPntkjY
|
atnr06
|
{
"description": "telling off this girl",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling off this girl?
|
I fucked up. I realize I’m the asshole, but I’ll tell this story anyway.
I’ve known this girl for awhile. We’re in the same class, but don’t know each other well at all. I would call us acquaintances with some mutual friends until I hung out with her.
I was meeting with a friend at his place and she was there. We had a nice, long and good conversation. No small talk. I thought at this point that she was really cool. I gave her my number, and we texted a little back & forth but I’m not a big texter so I wouldn’t reply 99% of the time. She’d still message me a lot but I never minded. I’m pretty cool with that kind of stuff.
So, skip forward a week or two and we’re talking after class and I make a comment saying that I haven’t bought enough the textbook yet because I can’t afford it. I’m going to wait till I get paid.
She goes, I kid you not, “I’d be willing to buy it.” “Seriously? I can’t ask you to do that. No way,” and she just goes, “that okay, I really like you.” “I like you, too. I’m glad we’re talking now.” “No, I really like you. I think I even be in love with you.”
I go “That’s funny?” and she’s like, “No seriously. Ever since we hung out that day and you told me about your parents and family I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” I’m such an asshole so I go, “Do you fall in love with everyone that casually tells you about their family problems?” She’s like, “No, but I felt we were really getting to know each other.” I said, “No. You felt wrong. You know next to anything about me - to say you’re in love is just completely ridiculous and insane. We’ve hung out one time, so it kinda feels like someone is playing a joke on me.” At this point she’s really embarrassed and she says something along the lines of me being an asshole and I go, “And you didn’t realize this before? Looks like you definitely don’t know me enough to say you’re in love with me.”
I haven’t seen her since but a mutual friend said she was crying about it and really upset so I feel sort of shitty about being so rude. I fucked up, but to be fair she really sprung that out of nowhere. I knew she might be interested, potentially, but I had no clue she’d spring this on me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
XMSwZHg0JJtANaQtUM7on97uai19yLPL
|
apela8
|
{
"description": "not wanting him to meet my parents",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting him to meet my parents?
|
Ive been friends with benefits with this guy for over a year. Lately we’ve been a little more romantic. This semester hes living with his parents and going to school out there. This weekend I drove almost 2 hours to see him and meet his parents. They were very kind and I had a great time.
I talk about my parents (mostly my mom) quite a bit and once he’s playfully mentioned he’d like to meet her. The thing is I’m not ready for that. The guy I’m talking to use to be addicted to heavy drugs. He cut out *most* of it but he still uses an opioid because he’s struggling with coming off completely. He’s so smart and a sweetheart but you know a “junkie” when
you see one. I hate that word and describing him that way but i couldn’t think of another word. My parents aren’t strict but they would question my judgement if I brought him home. As their daughter they expect more from me like not being associated with people who do drugs and have a long history of trouble.
On the outside you see an addict but on the inside is an intelligent and ambitious man who I’m growing very fond of. He hasn’t brought up meeting my parents but I feel like the conversation might happen soon. Am I the asshole for not wanting him to meet my parents while he’s actively using?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
pOfx2T3CaLRVlC8gwnpIE6KafLydOtPq
|
am86kl
|
{
"description": "requesting that my roommate be quiet",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for requesting that my roommate be quiet?
|
So I'm a student at university and I share a closet-sized room with another person. I always study in my room, because the library isn't close to where I live. This has worked out because my roommate usually goes to the library to study. I also have pretty severe ADHD, so I have tried going to the library but I can't get much done because of the people walking by/talking, and just the sound of typing makes it hard to focus. I can't listen to music while I'm trying to do homework/study because it's distracting.
​
Today I had an exam in one of my classes. I had gotten up to study, anticipating that my roommate wouldn't be in the room because she usually leaves by the time I wake up. She did not leave, which was fine. When I got out of the shower she was on the phone. After making coffee and doing other morning things, I sat down at my desk to start studying. My roommate was still on the phone. I didn't say anything. For about forty-five minutes she was on the same call arguing with her boyfriend about something. I didn't say anything the entire time she was on this call, and it was pretty obvious that I was trying to study. She hangs up, and then makes another call. She was on this call for about 15 minutes, and my time before the exam was dwindling so I asked if she could wait until I had left to talk on the phone. She got incredibly pissed, and said "You know, I'm never in the room, why don't you go to the library to study for once", in an incredibly nasty tone. It's also worth noting that I'm pretty sick right now, so the only time I've left the room in the past few days was to go to class, otherwise I would've trekked my ass to the library before class, despite the decrease in productivity. My roommate knows this. She came back fifteen minutes later with her friend and they started smoking out of the window and talking. I didn't say anything. I did what I could, but at that point, it was too late to go anywhere to study and I had to leave to go to class. I've previously considered places where I could go, but I'm significantly more productive when I'm in my room, and there aren't many places on campus that aren't high traffic and quiet. My roommate has invited me to go to the library on numerous occasions and I've said every time that I appreciate the offer, but I can't get anything done there. She also knows that I have ADHD. This is also the first time I've ever asked her to be quiet/respect the fact that I'm studying in the room since we moved in in August. I'm going to buy noise-canceling headphones so this doesn't occur in the future, but I'm pretty upset that she responded the way she did, and I'm unsure if I'm wrong to be upset.
​
So, AITA for asking her to talk on the phone later?
​
TL;DR: Roommate on phone for about an hour while I'm studying, after waiting for her to hang up, I finally asked her if she could wait till I left to talk on the phone, and she got angry that I asked.
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
8z2yhAE97xZ57r23KTEUiAMAI2QhgdeL
|
auwb45
|
{
"description": "wanting to quit working together with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to quit working together with my boyfriend
|
Hey all,
my boyfriend and I talked about this yesterday. According to him I get attached and emotional over things that are slightly stupid. So here's the story.
I met my boyfriend in April last year. We talked for a while on a dating site and very soon the fact that he was one of the leaders of a project came up. The sole purpose of this project was documenting the Second World War (and all things related to that). I thought it was kind of cool and signed myself up. I study German language and I am quite proficient in French aswell. Soon my work started to extend from translating signs, to also translating the user interface, looking up family trees, translating biographies and making articles of the foreign (English) news. Of all these things I enjoyed translating biographies the most, so that is what I ended up doing.
I always made it a point to write long biographies. The writing process was right in my alley and I put a lot of time and heart into each biography that I translated. The other chefs were all content with my work. I got a lot of compliments. I am on the spectrum and previously I got a lot of negative attention for being so weird. Even had previous boyfriends tell me I was useless. So I enjoyed the attention that came with it.
There were also issues within this organisation: The guy I was officially working for did and does not put any effort into staying in touch with me. He once sent me a short mail thanking me after a few months working on everything. But that's it. My boyfriend also thinks I am too critical of the site. I don't want to reveal too much information, but I was highly critical of one feature. It's adjusted now. So it's fixed.
Another problem occurred yesterday. My boyfriend went to a staff meeting of this organisation and the topic of my biographies: they're too long. They take up too much attention on the page, which is wrong (the attention should go to the medals). They had to be made shorter.
I am okay with that, but what happened after that broke my heart. I'm put in the CC of an email and see that my boyfriend is talking with another guy about my biographies. He complains that one of the guys I added to the site (and who was a rather important nazi) has a biography that's just way too long. I see my boyfriend reply that he edited it. He just cut off a huge part of the text without debating it with me.
When I tell him that that hurt me and that he should have involved me in editing my texts. He replies that they're technically seen not my texts (true) and that I am just an 'individual' in the system. No one is special. Everyone can be replaced within the system.
That hurt. Maybe it's weird to get emotionally attached to a text, but I probably am. I told him that I want to quit that project a few hours later, because I no longer felt I was a good match with the organisation.
So tell me: Am I The Asshole for quitting said project? Did I put my own interests over the general good?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
yE9TbrE4OcBM1jMwu1Jygo2GiZTb0SwH
|
b60pze
|
{
"description": "thinking my gf is overreacting about me looking at old friend's profiles on Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking my gf is overreacting about me looking at old friend's profiles on Facebook
|
So my long term gf went through my phone which I don't care and went on my FB account and asked who these girls were on my search history. I told her they were old college friends that I was curious about what they were up to. I have not had any kind of relationships with them. Now she's mad at me and will barely talk to me. AITA for thinking that she's overreacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fBWaH0UsCQXKBd67jujdnIaXwOaMpFkC
|
aenm70
|
{
"description": "telling my S/o that she doesn't understand what being \"poor\" is",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA telling my S/O that she doesn’t understand what being “poor” is?
|
First a little background on this. My S/O and I have been together for 2+ years and are very happy together, but we have our differences. The main one is our personal and families financial backgrounds. She grew up in an middle-upper middle class suburb, parents both had stable jobs and money really wasn’t ever a worry. She wasn’t/isn’t the spoiled type, but she pretty much got most things that she wanted.
I came from a lower income area, my dad was in and out of work due to injuries, and all my life my family was just scraping by with 6 kids. We were on food stamps multiple times and had many years where Christmas and birthdays were just not a thing due to not having enough money for them.
We’re both currently working and going to college full time and recently my s/o has been complaining a lot about how she needed to dip into her (quite substantial) savings to pay for her various expenses (rent mostly) as well as concerts and short trips that she takes, all the while claiming that she hates it because she’s “poor” now. I try my best to be sympathetic, but honestly I have very little sympathy about the situation. She never knew what it was like to grow up actually poor, and I take offense to it that she would claim such a thing when she really has no idea what it’s like.
Just curious to see if I’m in the wrong here for thinking the way I do about this situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 25,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
RIGHT
|
W94m6lRvKaeyubC5u3rsLCdqE075QLqS
|
a6sepr
|
{
"description": "lying to my friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for lying to my friends?
|
I tend to lie to my friends a lot. Just because it's easier.
I'll ignore all calls and texts for a week and then lie and say my phone was being was repaired. Or some excuse of the kind. I go through phases where I feel like isolating myself completely and just staying home. Usually when I'm upset. My relationship with people is usually very shallow and centered around drinking or drugs as I don't really know how to get beyond this point. They think they're very close to me but actually I've been lying to them whenever I wanted to avoid them. And I'm good at it so people don't usually realise. I'm so good at it I can even pretend to be bad when it doesn't really matter. So they'll think I'm a bad liar and I can use that to my advantage when I need to
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
XjGS7AxbjFqLc4zWT5iDvUj9mfW6BxLo
|
austca
|
{
"description": "not liking all of my SO's Instagram posts",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not liking all of my SO's Instagram posts?
|
She is always asking me to like her photos but I think if you like everything, then you like nothing. She says I should like all of them to let her (and others) know that I support her.
I might just delete Instagram all together.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9m4usZmGgRnTKPf3yFg3V9HNFXjMyx0X
|
ar6ua6
|
{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to go out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for asking my girlfriend to go out?
|
Hello,
I asked my girlfriend (of 8 months) to come out with me and my friends tonight to celebrate my friends birthday.
As she's had a busy week at work and a stressful week due to her room at her dormitory being repaired due to water damage, she said that she would stay in tonight.
Later on she told me that she had gone out to a local bar, and when I asked if we could meet there sure told me no as she was going to bed.
Naturally (I hope) I was rather cross that she had gone out regardless of telling me she was going to bed. I told her I was mad that she had gone out to a bar (she called it just a restaurant) without telling me she was going out anyway.
She's currently mad at me for being cross with her for going out, and AITA, for being mad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
JYFbNAmvgzwDRBIF5Xb3u1FHRCBsVLpR
|
b7dwn0
|
{
"description": "not helping my friend move",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA If I don’t help my friend move?
|
I’ve helped people move in the past, multiple times. It’s the worst experience ever especially in Florida weather. The last time I helped someone move it started pouring and we still had to finish the job. Point is, I hate moving.
My buddy just asked me if I could help him move some stuff he can’t move on his own. I just finished hitting legs and I have to start studying sooner rather than later. Mind you, I work full time so most of my studying is done on the weekend.
Anyways, Reddit, would I be the asshole if I told the homie no, or told him he should at least throw me some cash for my labor? Rationality tells me, “obviously.” But bro code is telling me otherwise.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
DdnmGiGsr86y8Lw7uTDUg6yo01608TUV
|
alok7r
| null |
AITA in how my relationship ended?
|
My fiancée left me today and i just want to know if I handled our situation well. I made a previous post on this subreddit in regards to my clinical depression and how it's been affecting me and the people around me. The short rundown of it is that I've been feeling guilty about not doing enough for everybody, despite the fact that I've been giving my all for other people. I've been lacking motivation and feel tired consistently, and it's started causing me to sleep all day, despite the fact that i should be at work, and it led me to closing myself off from other people, even though I really just want their approval. Now that we have that established, we can move on to the current situation.
After my fiancée got off work, I asked her to help me with finding a psychologist that might be able to tell me manage my depression. Instead of being happy that I am trying to better myself, she became upset that I didn't realize how much my depression has been affecting her. She made a few statements that basically boil down to her calling me a deadbeat for missing work some days, because she has to carry more of the financial burden. Naturally, that caught me by surprise, and i don't know if I handled myself properly, so I'll try to be detailed with what happened, and you can determine if I was handling myself well.
After she called me several very colorful names, she slapped me twice. In the chaos of the situation, i tried to stand my ground and held her wrists so she would stop. She started complaining that i was hurting her, so i let her go, but she threw her purse at my head as soon as she could. I left the apartment after that. She called me several times, but i sent her calls to voicemail. She started leaving messages saying she was sorry and that she overreacted, but when i didn't respond, she waited until I got back to the apartment and left me with an ultimatum, which was that if i didn't act like a grown-up, she was going to leave me. Honestly, I'm not sure if i was acting childish, but i don't think that i was. I'm upset because we was the love of my life, but when i tried to get her help to better myself, she was upset that my depression made her job of being my fiancée harder. The whole situation is making me even more depressed, which I wasn't sure was possible. I'm not sure if I'm upset that we're not together anymore, or if I'm upset that it took me until now to realize it wasn't meant to be. Am I the asshole? For my sanity, i need to know.
Sorry for the wall of text. There was a lot to unpack.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
GYaiP7ioTYTggiwRaOa2tSLJnPVZn7tc
|
asuud8
|
{
"description": "splitting the internet bill",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA splitting the internet bill
|
So my roomate when out of town for work voluntarily. Hes been gone for the last month. Am I an asshole to still ask for his half of the bill even though he has been gone? I would still pay my half if I went out of town because that was the agreement.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Og46p8se9aDB3lxSndkKfFcGkRjATmW7
|
aqq4m4
|
{
"description": "throwing away a large order of meat and cheese that my mother left out for 3 hours",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for throwing away a large order of meat and cheese that my mother left out for 3 hours?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
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}
|
WRONG
|
|
l5ZOHlIAxu7JedcqdVUGnmLfhWvrmrnk
|
apym77
|
{
"description": "using the unfiltered utterances of my narcissistic and now dementia-ridden mother to understand and heal my own ctpsd",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for using the unfiltered utterances of my narcissistic and now dementia-ridden mother to understand and heal my own CTPSD?
|
As the title says my mother who is nearly 80 is suffering from dementia. I feel deeply sorry for the physical limitations and the mental pain this is causing her. I try to spend more time with my parents now than I used to in the past, but I live 1000 miles away and have two jobs so this is not easy and limited to 3 weeks or so per year.
I did not move so far away because I really wanted to, I needed the distance. In my early 20s, I was severely depressed, suffered from unhealthy compulsions and had occasional suicidal thoughts. I self-isolated from friends and other family and did not really have any close friends.
​
I tried to leave home when I was 18, 20 and 23, but each time my parents managed to convince me that I'd be better off with a postgraduate degree, so financial needs meant I could not afford to move out.
After leaving home and seeking therapy I gradually learned to understand that my desire for independence was natural and my (unconsciously self imposed) low contact with my parents (1-2 calls per month, 2 visits per year) were a natural response.
I learned to understand that my upbringing had in many ways not been normal. Some examples:
\* My mother had tried to have a child for over 10 years before me. I was born on her birthday in her early 40s and she has often treated me as if she owned me.
\* I understand now that my mother was what is considered 'emotionally immature', She could not objectively say something like 'I don't like this sort of music, but you have to decide for yourself' Instead she would forbid me from listening to anything but classical music and force me to learn a classical string instrument.
\* She would also not allow me to play with a game boy or action figures, instead I had an old fashioned doll, was wearing leather shoes and a corduroy suit to school when everyone was wearing trainers, jeans and t-shirt. I was bullied in school a lot and the only thing she'd do (despite teacher's advice to be a bit more relaxed towards me) was to try and get the bullies expelled (without success).
\* Some of her behaviours are also often described as emotional incest. For example, whenever my dad was on a business trip or came home an hour late from work she would be in my room and say things like "You'll have to help me if something happened to dad."
Going through therapy and starting to accuse someone is a very difficult time. I honestly only ever wanted to understand why I have the demons that I carefully try to rid myself off. I've never been accusing my parents directly. I also believe that they dedicated a lot of time and effort to my upbringing. They (especially my mother) simply never understood the generation of children I grew up with and how it differed to their own childhood which was in post-WWII Germany.
​
After leaving home, my mother reacted very badly. She refused to speak to me or if she did, she would only talk to her dog (eg. "This man has left us \[dog's name\]") or my dad ("It would seem that your son actually is happy to be in my company, but he refuses to stay after this week").
I largely ignored this, gained confidence and independence. I got married, though my mother refuses to accept my wife.
​
For the last 3 years, my mother has suffered from increasingly progressive dementia. I am genuinely sorry to see this woman suffer like this. But I don't feel I can do much to help her. I try to assist my father with advice, though it's very hard to do so as he has very much his own mind.
​
I recently discussed my mother with a friend of mine, whose mother also suffers from dementia. He is someone I've confided in for many years and who knows a lot about the demons I have fought in my past. What I never shared with him is the doubt that I often had. Was I fair in my judgement on how my mother's behaviour had affected me?
I mentioned to him that the only good that has come from my mother's illness, is that she is far less filtered. Especially in the first few years, she sometimes said things like "Knowing you'd only play with dolls/play the violin" always made me so happy. "I sometimes wondered if I enforced it too much, but you never put up any resistance".
To me, this has been very helpful, absolving myself from the doubts that lingered. Yet my friend seemed very uneasy when I mentioned this. He has since ignored me, stopped to respond to messages and has excused himself from a regular social we both attend and then told some of the others that I had acted in a terrible way towards my mother. The only thing I've done is to talk to my mother who apparently had forgotten that long ago she had stopped talking to me and who also seemed to now express how emotions had influenced her decisions is the past rather than trying to back them up with 'logic'.
So I do wonder AITA for using what my mother says to discover more about my childhood and the traumas some of which still haunt me? And if so how (other than not talking to my mother at all) would I even be able to avoid doing so.
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
39Ks8gief4frboKdIyFa4BeGrmqWamtf
|
ayhxni
|
{
"description": "explaining to a vegan activist exactly why Im not vegan",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for explaining to a vegan activist exactly why im not vegan?
|
Anonymous for the voiceless (Google them) were doing one of their protests in my city recently, and since I had time to kill before my train arrived I stopped to investigate.
One of the protestors struck up a conversation with me, and for the most part she seemed pretty chill. She talked about how we exploit farm animals, I talked about the food chain and human evolution, yadda yadda... and eventually I agreed that humans could live solely on plants if we wanted to, and that it would be better for both our health and the environment if we did.
She then asked me "So why aren't you vegan?" and I responded with "Because I don't want my friends and family to see me as a self-righteous snob."
Unsurprisingly she was quite offended, so I told her all about the things PETA do, about about all the times I've been called 'murderer' for eating meat, about the sort of things that vegans have a reputation for (you all know what I'm talking about) and I also told her the story of that bride who wanted a vegan-only wedding which made the rounds on Reddit not long ago. My explaining failed to un-offend her, so I said that I would consider being vegan if veganism ever fixed its public image, and went to catch my train.
This was last weekend and I still feel like I was a bit too blunt with my answer... Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
FDyy2ssrL7hC6m6lG2vi7H7OZg7GuzoD
|
ad6tt5
|
{
"description": "not letting my dog interact with some stranger's dogs at the brewery",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not letting my dog interact with some stranger's dogs at the brewery?
|
I was at a brewery last night and my dog was just laying under the table relaxing. Some lady walks her two huskies from across the place and around a partition over towards our table. When I saw her coming, I got up and stood in the way of her dogs and waited for her to catch up to them because they were on bungie leashes and could get quite far in front of her.
Thinking she got the message that I didn't want her dogs near my smaller dog, I then sat back down but she still let her dogs come up to mine. My friend picked my dog up off the floor and held her away from the strange dogs. After we explicitly asked her to remove her dogs from our table, she did. Then she came back without the dogs and asked why we didn't want the dogs to greet. We were pretty nice and gave rather bland answers about how we came to a brewery to eat and drink, not to a dog park for social hour. Not liking that answer, she specifically asked if my dog was aggressive, like that's the only plausible reason dogs wouldn't want to play with her dogs. She was all offended and acted like we were assholes. What's going on here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
S7XPBPk3sV27vNkX19DwAzPThdoX04cJ
|
ay14q8
|
{
"description": "telling coworker I won't drive him anymore with no notice",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I tell coworker I won't drive him anymore with no notice.
|
I've been driving a co worker to work for the past 6 months, he pays me 20$ every two weeks to drive him. We both started working at this place at the exact same time, and in that time I have bought myself a motorcycle and a car. He's done nothing for himself but smoke a ton of weed and call in sick 2-3 times a week.
​
Now I work 40+ hours a week and I am a full time student, so I have classes 4 days a week, not to mention the time I spend doing assignments and studying. Needless to say I have VERY little personal time, basically no social life to speak of. I've recently started dating someone who lives 20 minutes away from my house but only a few minutes away from work. So in order to spend time with him I'm often having to go there before work, then drive back to my city to pick up this co worker and drive another 25 minutes back to work. Or I'll be planning my day around it so I end up not having social time, and back in the city to be able to drive him in. So it's been pretty inconvenient, but I've been managing. However, often times I'll plan my day around being in the city to drive this person, only to find out hes not going to work. I'll be driving back to the city to pick this co worker and receive a text from them saying they aren't going to work. Great, so now I've wasted gas and my time for nothing. Anyways this is really starting to annoy me so I told him this and that he needs to start looking for a new ride, he knew this was never a permanent arrangement anyways as I'll be riding my motorcycle as soon as it warms up. He's done nothing to find a new ride, and I planned on giving him a dead line of 2 weeks before I stop driving him. But yet again I planned my day around driving this guy in and he called in again. So would I be the asshole if I just tell him that I can't drive him anymore and not give him the courtesy of the 2 weeks notice?
​
TL;DR: I drive in a co worker and he often calls in sick to work which is inconveniencing me greatly. I want to just tell him to fuck off and not give him the 2 weeks notice I had originally planned to let him find a new ride.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
z5SEKULXgkHiD1IjhiitSI7wlOBp8Qlb
|
b46lzu
|
{
"description": "wanting my wife to eat my vegetarian cooking",
"pronormative_score": 56,
"contranormative_score": 40
}
|
AITA for wanting my wife to eat my vegetarian cooking?
|
A couple months ago I decided to become vegetarian, but my wife still eats meat and thats fine to me. I do most of the cooking and so I always cook vegetarian meals. My wife likes the vegetarian food but wants me to cook some non vegetarian food for her aswell sometimes. For example when I cook meat free sausages she wants me to cook normal sausages for her aswell. This would be fine but I already don't like cooking and this just makes it more complicated and time consuming. Also if she wants meat she could just eat it when I'm not cooking or do more cooking herself.
AITA for wanting her to eat my vegetarian food?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 38,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 56,
"WRONG": 40
}
|
RIGHT
|
YmmVOU0qZdxYNfvQYxrq8TGe1k693Qgi
|
b9h72t
|
{
"description": "not feeling sorry about a meme I sent to a friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not feeling sorry about a meme I sent to a friend?
|
I'll go ahead and give some background before I start. I'm in my sophomore year of college and am in a pretty big organization on campus that organizes fun campus-wide events for students. The organization is pretty exclusive and is capped at 80 members at any time, and we're all in one big group chat that is very active. One of my friends in the organization loves to say controversial things in the group chat, but never maliciously. For example, the other day some people were discussing whether or not honey mustard is a good condiment (very riveting I know, but we're young and have fun talking about whatever), and my friend chimed in saying that it wasn't. Nothing malicious at all, just going against the grain to stir up some conversation, and that's the kind of comments that he makes a lot.
So that brings us to today. Today he posted another similar comment and I sent a meme in the chat with his name tagged. Some of you might have seen this meme before, but to summarize it's a picture of Funky Kong from the Donkey Kong games riding a surfboard throwing up a piece sign with a speech bubble that says "ok retard." As soon as I sent it I thought about how I probably shouldn't have sent it to such a large group of people seeing as how some people might find it offensive. I'm the type of person that likes to avoid controversy and felt bad about sending it right after the deed was done. A few minutes later someone comments "hey. we don't use the r word as an insult" and I knew something like that was coming. To avoid any type of argument I responded by saying "My apologies" and that was the end of it.
Now I'll go into my relationship with the word in question. The friend that this meme was intended for and I are the type of friends that are comfortable calling each other this word. We don't see the word as offensive when we say it to each other seeing as how when we were growing up, the word wasn't seen as much as offensive as it is now. I know it's a mean word and I have never used the word to demean someone who is mentally handicapped because I have handicapped family, and would be extremely upset to hear them called that. I grew up saying this word as a more harsh form of the word stupid and it's still a word that I use with some of my friends when we're together. Any time I think about inserting the word into one of my sentences, I make sure that the people around me are okay with it before I do. It seems that my want to use a meme in a relevant way clouded my judgement and I sent it before thinking of how it would be perceived by others. Now, I believe that I shouldn't have sent the meme, but I'm not sorry for saying that word to my friend. I know that he and I are not offended by it. I understand that I shouldn't have said it in a public forum and I regret sending it, but in general, I'm not sorry for my vocabulary. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
wcG0Xu0rQ6tDM3ZI0jTfuMaaPbWbCvhc
|
aekxxt
|
{
"description": "trying to save a young girl from her abusive father",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for trying to save a young girl from her abusive father?
|
Hi everyone, I live in a cul de sac neighborhood where everyone knows each other, except for one creepy weird man (who I have long suspected is a child molester) who lives alone with his small daughter (7ish years old).
This guy doesn’t talk to anyone. Never comes to any of our neighborhood get-togethers. Never smiles and waves or makes small y’all when he mows the lawn or takes out the trash.
He also is just really freaking creepy - he’s got a “rape stare” type look and he has what I believe is a swastika tattoo on his neck. It’s not a normal swastika but a variation, I suspect, so as to not attract too much attention.
Whenever I have tried to say hi to his daughter. He grabs her and tries to hide her. It’s really freaking scary that he tries to hide his daughters from me and from our other neighbors.
I called CPS on him because I’m truly afraid he might be abusing and/or molesting his daughter because of how creepy, reserved and protective he is.
This morning, I saw police at his house. Four cop cars intact. I’m not sure what happened but I doubt they would send that many cops cars or something.
If he’s not abusing or molesting his daughter then I would at least bet he has guns and Nazi memorabilia and other scary shit that maybe they found.
Another neighbor went around trying to figure out who might have reported them. I obviously denied it because I don’t want this crazy frickin guy coming after me and trying to kill me for “being nosy” or other shit that crazy child molesters often try to rationalize.
But that neighbor did say “I know the guy seems weird but seriously fuck whoever reported him. It’s not cool.”
Which got me thinking - am I the asshole for trying to look out for this young girl? And trying to get her out of a potentially abusive scenario?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
aOrnb2tsE61NmEFt756M1XXtCbxrDl8i
|
aufeco
|
{
"description": "not indulging my wife's insecurities every time",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not indulging my wife's insecurities every time?
|
My wife of 14 years likes to become sentimental and say things like, "You know I always look at you and think, 'Damn, he's good looking'. Do you ever think the same thing about me?" I say, "Of course I think that." Then she asks me to tell her examples of when I've thought it. Usually I sit there, racking my brain to come up with legitimate examples instead of something generic. I love my wife and find her beautiful, but I'm not a sentimental or emotional guy. I don't keep track of things like that. I'm a very unemotional man that runs almost solely on logic. It always annoys me for being put on the spot, and if I can't come up with examples quickly it's like she doubts I actually do find her attractive, and then that pisses me off. It becomes very tiring having to prove my love and attraction to her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
5mBszH3W8xis65uImi02171A8gWY9OSD
|
ay46xm
|
{
"description": "taking away my boyfriends access to the Netflix DVD plan and telling him he longer gets an input of what is ordered",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for taking away my boyfriends access to the Netflix DVD plan and telling him he longer gets an input of what is ordered?
|
Context:
Boyfriend an I live together.
I pay for the following:
Netflix
The additional DVD plan
Amazon Prime
3 additional prime channels, one of them being HBO which is an extra $15 a month, because HE wanted it for Game of Thrones.
I’ve had the DVD plan for 6 months. He and I both really enjoy horror films, and we watched horror movies all throughout October. After that, whenever I told him the next movie coming in was a horror film, he’d tell me straight up that he doesn’t want to watch it and that he’s sick of horror movies and needed a break. I was like, alright, sure. So, cause of that we didn’t watch any horror films for a month. I asked him specifically what movies we should get from his preferred genres. After this I really wanted to watch more horror films, especially since the ones I want aren’t able to be streamed on anything else that I have, so I can only see them through this plan. He again throws a hissy fit and says he doesn’t want to watch them, and that he wants a say in what kind of horror films we get since he doesn’t like the ones I choose sometimes. So, I went and filtered out all of the ones he didn’t have interest in.
Mid December my cat ended up damaging the return slip(s) and I wasn’t able to get to the post office for a while. 2 months without the DVD plan (while still paying for it tho). Finally, problem is fixed and I tell him the next movie is coming and he does his usual “I don’t wanna watch that.”
I got fed up and told him “too bad, it’s coming and I’m going to watch it with or without you.” He told me he doesn’t think it’s fair that I get most of the control when it comes to which movies come in, and he barely has a say. I’m super annoyed so I say, “Yeah, and you know what? I pay for it, so you no longer have a say. I’m tired of filtering out movies I wanna see cause you’re being petty.” He looked upset and said “wow, okay then... if you wanna be an asshole about it.”
Keep in mind whenever it’s his turn to pick a movie, I always have to suck it up and watch his damn super hero movies or western comedies or whatever he chooses, and I never complain about it. I also don’t know why he needs access to the DVD plan when he can choose something off of the other streams that we have (including Hulu that his friend let’s us use).
TL:DR: I told my bf he no longer has a say in what movies we receive in a plan that I pay for, and he thinks I’m being an asshole
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
sqMRZwcvXquQHO4HIVgz3ONjgOY3jY4L
|
a9ejyk
|
{
"description": "hating children",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for hating children?
|
At every family gathering ever, when around children, I've been sitting on my phone looking at Reddit or listening to music. This child then (usually) proceeds to stare at me like a child does, then trips and gets hurt.
After the kid gets hurt they run to their parents crying and for some reason says I hurt them, probably because I was the last thing they saw before getting hurt.
Then the parents, and all my other relatives give me weird looks and I think they've been talking shit behind my back.
I've literally done nothing but scroll through Reddit or something like that.
I now try to avoid children because of this, and I get anxious every time there are young kids around me, because I don't want to be falsely accused of hitting children. I mean everyone is gonna believe the kid, not the child abuser, obviously.
So AITA for not wanting to go to family gatherings and sit by the children?
I have to sit at the kids table because I'm only 15.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not inviting my dad to my hs graduation",
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|
WIBTA For not inviting my dad to my HS graduation
|
My parents divorced back when I was 14. My mom told me she was cheated on by my dad and it was a final straw, so they ended it. I wasn't too affected by this at first. I just remember being hurt about the lack of time he spent with us. He would rarely see us once every two months, and the one time he had Christmas with us he only stayed for a few hours and then left.
​
My mother eventually took him to court. She was fully supporting a household of four, and one of us (my older brother) was going through college. She wanted more child support, so she fought for it. We were winning by a landslide until she let him win. Apparently he was a blabbering fool, crying about how much he loved his kids but how he doesn't have the money to support us. Feeling bad, he gave him the case and he was able to pay less child support than before.
​
From then on he was required to see us more. Though, that didn't stop him from canceling once every two months, maybe more. We (my sister and I) were now required to spend every other weekend with him, doing whatever he wanted. It kinda hurt that he only started seeing us after the court case, but whatever. It didn't matter. He would scream and yell, then text us how much he loves us the next day. Now I'm heading to university soon. We have him paying half of everything my mom is paying. Recently, however, my mom was asked to sign off this asset that was said to be split 50/50 between them. When she asked for half of whatever he was getting from it, he sent her a nasty voicemail threatening to take away my florida prepaid college. (for those who don't know, florida prepaid is a system that allows parents to start paying off their child's college early. So, once they hit college, a good amount of their fees are paid off. According to our estimates, it would've cut my expenses by half, maybe even more. This excludes all scholarships as well.)
​
​
It was basically hearing my own father say, "I would rather get this extra 5000 than see my daughter go to college". I'm not a super smart girl. I'm not getting a free ride. I NEED that prepaid. To top it all off, my mother was in a phone call with him and he admitted to LYING in court and ACTING like he was crying in order to get to pay less child support. He was laughing, saying he just played her the whole time. My mother is a fucking saint. She hates her boss, yet she works as many hours as she can just to give us the life we have, and to hear that my dad, who didn't even TRY to see us before the court old him to, faked cried just to fool my mother into giving in... well, I'm completely done with him. When graduation happens, I want to cut ties. I don't want this man in my life anymore. Maybe I'm overdramatic. As much as I said, he HAS been a good father in other ways. Idk. I know a HS graduation is a lot for some parents - it's a one time thing. But, I don't know if I can invite him anymore.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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AITA for thinking the okay sign near the groin is not racist?
|
Obligatory apology for formatting, I’m on mobile.
So for context my sister is passionate about politics, she leans left, and always advocates for me to get involved in voting and stuff like that. She keeps up with a lot of political news, and all that jazz. I lean left, but am not as involved in politics as her. Every time I go to see her she brings something up out of nowhere, trying to lecture me about the current events. I’m at the point where I just nod and smile.
Now I guess we’ve gotten to the point where the ok sign means white power to some people. I know it’s a 4chan prank to I just tend to ignore that and continue to harmlessly prank my friends by drawing their innocent eyes to my goin area and making an okay symbol. I know it’s immature but it still gets a laugh (or a slight puff of air from the nose) out of all parties involved every now and again.
Recently I went to my girlfriends sorority formal with her, and she had me take lots of pictures with her, as is tradition. So I thought I’d slip the prank sign in one or two photos. The night ended, I posted the photos of us and at least one with the hand sign in it. Later on my sister texted me. The following part of the conversation. I’ll be me, she’ll be S
S: White power symbol on your Facebook?????
Me(already knowing where this convo is going): you should look up 4chan (in retrospect that was mean of me)
S: I’m aware of it
Me: Then you should know they fabricated the rumor that the universally accepted 👌 does not in fact have ties with white power, no matter how many people want to get offended by it
S: So you did it knowing what the perception of it is? Because perception is reality. You don’t get to define what something means to everyone.
Me: Do you think I’m racist?
S: It is no longer “universally accepted”. Bottom line.
S: Do you think you’re *not* a racist?
Me: That’s not what I asked, do you think I’m racist?
S: That’s my answer. You don’t discuss anything with me. It’s “too political”.
At this point I went on a rant about how thinking I’m racist because of this photo is ridiculous. And told her where I stand politically, leaning more left, but I think the two party system is awful. I brought up how she randomly injects our interactions with politics every time I see here, and said how I don’t like it. I feel like it was a bit harsh but I was annoyed she made these baseless accusations because of a photo of the ok sign, which now in her mind means white power. So am I the asshole for her accusing me of being racist for doing a simple hand jester, which to most means nothing but okay?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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b21zlm
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"description": "telling my sister she's never felt like a sister to me",
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AITA For telling my sister she's never felt like a sister to me.
|
I've been fighting with my sister a lot over simple and also major things recently. She's is 22 and i'm 17
I have on many occasions yelled at her and gotten into pretty nasty fights. One such fight was when she wouldn't move her car so I could go meet a friend (the minivan I drive was blocked in by her car), and I had asked her to do so over an hour in advance, and she proceeded to cry saying she was upset and didn't feel like she could. During the end of the argument I did yell "I feel like I've never had a real sister, you've never been a sister to me." because that was the truth, and I have felt like that for a long time. I've always been ignored by her and basically grew up on my own while my other two sister excluded me from everything. I wont lie I did have anger issues and say some shitty things as a kid but grew out of it over time. I don't feel bad for saying that, because i feel like she needed to hear it. For more context this has been a recurring problem over time where she won't listen to me when I politely ask for simple tasks, and still to this day pretty much ignores me. I don't think I will ever have a good relationship with her when I eventually go off and graduate from college.
​
AITA for saying she doesn't feel like a sister and wanting her to know that she ruined our relationship?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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b2mbs8
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{
"description": "telling my Sister not to give up guardianship of our Dad",
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|
AITA for telling my Sister not to give up guardianship of our Dad
|
To start off I have a bad relationship my Dad and have had near zero contact with him since he and my Mom divorced when i was in my early teens(im 34 now) But he has been in a bad way for a couple of years and my sister was given guardianship over him. A couple of weeks ago, my Aunts started coming out of the woodwork second guessing my Sister's decisions on how my Dad should be taken care of, to the point of coming to where he is being treated and demanding certain treatment plans be tried or even trying to have him removed from his care facility.
​
Despite how I feel about him, I told my sister that I would help her if she needed, because I don't like that they are trying to team up on her and pressure her to give up guardianship so they can do what they want(my sister thinks its because they want his money but cant confirm that) I told her basically "Don't give it up unless you are 100% done with the whole situation, because once you do, they will cut you out of any decision making process and they will never give the guardianship back."
​
A couple of days ago I start getting phone calls from my Aunts and Uncles telling me that I am out of line and I haven't had anything to do with him for so long, who am I to jump in now and start telling my Sister what i think should be done and that I should stay out of it. My response to the whole situation was if you didn't want guardianship when my Dad needed help in the first place, you don't need it now now that it's convenient for you to want it. It doesn't matter how I feel about my Dad, i'm not going to let my Sister be taken advantage of.
​
Am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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|
WIBTA if I banned family members who have traveled to New Zealand from seeing my newborn baby?
|
First of all, I’d admit that thanks to having an autoimmune that went undiagnosed for 27 years, I know I can be paranoid about catching diseases because I’ve always gotten the worst case scenarios health-wise.
My parents recently became very mistrustful of medical information after they discovered the anti-vaxx movement. I caught rubella & mumps even after I got the MMR vaccine (compromised immune systems ftw!), so I seem to confirm their conspiracy theories. They don’t seem to believe I have an autoimmune either, so explaining that doesn’t work.
Anyway, they just went on a big family trip to New Zealand, where they just had a measles outbreak. My mom is still there, while my dad just returned yesterday and we met up for dinner. I asked him which cities he traveled to because I only found out about the measles outbreak a few hours earlier when I mentioned to my friend I was having dinner with my dad, and she told me to be careful since I’m due to give birth in 7 days (high risk pregnancy so I know the exact date since they have to induce labour).
When I asked my dad, he admitted they toured around the South island too, where the measles outbreak is. I asked him which cities specifically and he couldn’t remember. I asked him to check and he got annoyed and snapped, “Nowadays, they have medication if you get sick! It’s no big deal!”
I told him newborns can die from measles, but he just ignored me.
My dad’s answer is making me even more paranoid and right now, I’m considering banning every family member who visited New Zealand from meeting me for 14 days after they’ve returned. That means they won’t be allowed to see the baby for at least a week after she’s born.
Would that be an asshole move? She'll be my parents' first granddaughter, the first great-granddaughter from my dad's side and the first great-grandchild from my mom's side, so everyone wants to be there at her birth.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "secretly hoping that I'm sterile so I don't have to reproduce",
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|
AITA for secretly hoping that I’m sterile so I don’t have to reproduce
|
Me and my fiancé have been trying for a child for a year and a half. Thing is, I’ve never wanted to give birth. The thought alone terrifies me. I really want a child at some point but I want to adopt, I’ve always knew that since I was a child. My fiancé, on the other hand, says he wants to raise his own child that looks like me and him. So I agreed but every month when I get my period, I feel relieved.
A year ago I got severe bleeding that continued for two weeks. According to my gynaecologist, that was a potential pregnancy that my body rejected. She said that it’s different than miscarriage because there has been no pregnancy. It’s confusing but I didn’t ask more questions because the truth is, I didn’t care. I was actually relieved. My fiancé always talks about how he can’t wait for me to get pregnant but I hate the idea. I’ve told him I feel the same way but I’m lying. I told him a few times I wanted to adopt a child at some point and he refused. I myself am adopted and I don’t think my parents don’t love me, quite the contrary - they’ve always given me everything to the point I became quite spoiled. They are the most amazing parents I know so I don’t know how my fiancé can claim that adopted children aren’t ‘your own’ and ‘you can’t love them the same way as if they were your own’.
Since we’ve been trying for a child for quite some time and it’s not happening, he suggested we both go to a doctor and see what’s wrong. AITA for secretly hoping something really is wrong so I don’t have to bear a child? I feel so guilty and selfish but I did agree to carry his child. I just hope I’m physically unable to do it.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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b06x96
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{
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|
AITA for not wanting partner's sister's boyfriend at our wedding?
|
Actually it's more AWTAs for not wanting him there. My girlfriend and I are getting married in May. We're having a very small, informal wedding. It's maybe one step up from eloping. We'll have personal friends, my Mom, Dad, brother, brother's fiance, my girlfriend's Mom, and her sister. Altogether, less than 15 people, all of whom we're close to. Hell, even the officiating minister is a personal friend! My girlfriend's mom and sister live across the country, as do some of the friends of ours that are coming. So, it's a big deal that they'll be here and we want it to be a good day of good memories, surrounded by those we love. All well and good.
Except her sister has this boyfriend. And she claims that oh, he's the one, he's super special. Just like all the others. The girl goes through boyfriends and fiances like most people go through underwear. We've never met this guy, never even talked to him on the phone. I've never even see a picture of him. I'm sure he's fine, despite the fact that he's also an addict. But we don't want someone we don't know at what is essentially a small family gathering with a wedding thrown in. Now, if we were having a big to-do with like 100 people in a rented public space, fine, whatever, she can bring the past 5 boyfriends plus the next prospective one if she likes. But, we don't think it's appropriate for this and we don't want him here.
When my gf told her sister this, she was extremely upset and didn't talk to her for a while. Her sister and her don't always get along and have a shaky relationship at best, so this was not unforeseen, but still upsetting for my gf. But now, the sister has entered phase two of her plan to strong-arm the boyfriend into our wedding. She decided she and her boyfriend are going to make a trip of it, with our wedding being just one stop on their cross country journey. So, the guy is gonna be here, in town. And not at our wedding. This seems VERY shitty to me that the sister is putting both us AND her boyfriend in this situation, but, that's what she's doing. It is, quite obviously, a new tactic to making us let him come. I mean how cruel must we be to make him sit in his hotel room all by himself while we're having our wedding? Is what she is going for with this.
Frankly, I'm impressed that she'd plan a road-trip out of spite. But, she did. Are we the assholes for not wanting him there in the first place and even more so for standing firm and letting the boyfriend chill at his hotel while the sister attends our wedding?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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atde32
|
{
"description": "constantly asking my mom for privacy",
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|
AITA for constantly asking my mom for privacy
|
Hello, im a 13 yo male with a single mother
I've been asking her for many months to not look in my phone cause i really do not like her doing so, as it builds up my anxiety etc. (Which she deemed as something i made up to make people feel guilty if they said something to me)
I use discord to talk with a few chill people and have fun... she didn't really like that so she made me delete it and made me unable to talk to them again. I've been able to talk to them through social media but that' not the point.
I've since then have asked her multiple times to not look at my phone, which she didn't listen to and looked anyway.
I understand she wants to protect me from online people and whatever, but the thing is. We're in Argentina and i know for a fact they're in the US.
So once again i want to ask Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9velwa
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{
"description": "taking someone's laundry out after waiting for several minutes I use a machine",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For taking someone’s laundry out after waiting for several minutes I use a machine.
|
Both machines have wet, clean clothes in them. I’m sitting here waiting to use a machine but my gf says it’s a dick move. What do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9z6j3i
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{
"description": "being proud of my promotion. while my friend/colleague hasn't had there's yet",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA, for being proud of my promotion. While my friend/colleague hasn't had there's yet?
|
On phone, so sorry for formatting.
I recently got a promotion from work, going up from employee to supervisor. I'm technically now bar manager at my work place, and i personal believe I deserve it. I worked hard for 18 months for it and im proud off myself.
Now tbh I've been a bit of a boast about it, only because I'm excited and can't wait too fully get into it.
Now my friend/colleague, we'll call her E. Now E has been trying too move up like me. But she's not had the opportunity yet, she's not been there long enough.
Now all was great, I admit I've been abit cocky about it. But have been told this by other colleagues. So I calmed down with it. But E, whos like my best friend has given me the cold shoulder ever since I got promoted.
Finally after a few weeks of this I finally ask her whats up, she sends me a text saying this: "okay, but let's be real. Your not a manager yet so I wouldn't go round saying it just yet. It's not even manager that you're getting it's supervisor isn't it. Stop being a arrogant prick". Okay I agree its supervisor, but comes with the title of bar manager. So that's why I've been saying it. I admit I've been arrogant and a bit cocky tbw. But I've calmed down with it.
I just need too know if this was justified and AITA in all this?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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azcth6
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|
AITA for not wanting to go see my SOs family?
|
My SO and I have been living with my family for around a year now. Before that, we went on a holiday for a while with her family but both her and me ended up coming back home because of her family drama, especially her dad. Her dad is a complete and utter abusive asshole who has physically and mentally abused both my girlfriend, her brother and his wife on multiple occasions - yet they all tolerate him.
My SO has planned for us to go see them (they live in another state) for what was originally only 3 nights for a weekend. I was fine with that and thought I’d be able to tolerate her abusive dick of a father. However now she has updated me that we will be going for a whole week to spend time with them.
I honestly don’t want to go anymore. Her father dislikes me and I despise of him and find him putrid. I haven’t told my girlfriend that’s the reason I don’t want to go I just sighed and told her that it’s going to fuck me up at work having that many days off (because I’m a casual who gets shit all shifts anyway as it is) and she told me that “if I didn’t want to go I should have said so”
Am I the asshole for not wanting to go? I don’t want to go because her dad is an abusive asshole, I also don’t have enough money saved up to spend on a holiday for three days let alone a week and I can’t sacrifice my already fucked work place at work.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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afm88b
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{
"description": "no longer being the godfather",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for no longer being the godfather
|
Friday a guy messaged my best friend (the father of my “godson”) on facebook and let him know that he had sex twice with his “babymama” around the time the child was conceived and that she ignored him when he asked for a dna test. When we looked at pictures of the guy it was obvious that he was the father of the child. And it began to make sense why I was apparently the only one who could never see a resemblance between the child and my best friend despite everyone else trying to force it (especially the kid’s mother). My best friend thanked him, dropped off all the child’s things that was at his house to her, picked the child up from his mother, and did an at home paternity test. We’re waiting on the results but it’s extremely clear that he isn’t the father. The child just turned two last month. The child’s mother believes that nothing should change. She thinks that my best friend should still raise him and that I should still remain the godfather. My best friend told her that he can’t continue to raise him because he’s scared of not treating him the best he can do how upset he is with her. He was the one who chose me to be the godfather.
Would I be the asshole for not continuing to be there for the child as his godfather? And is my best friend the asshole for not continuing to raise another man’s child?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b58e8d
| null |
AITA? friend gets mad at me for blocking them after i had warned them several times not to send me lewd art
|
ok so, this is my first reddit story but i wanted to share this somewhere. i've been friends with a person for a few years now, and they're alright. however, they are a little... how should i put this.... a little unruly, stuff like smoking paper and cigarettes, underaged drinking and openly discussing how they'd like to shoot up our high school. anyways, for a while they would send me gross, messed up or extremely lewd art of characters from shows or games i liked, or make gross comments about one of my original characters, and it seriously ticked me off. i asked them to stop several times and they didn't. i blocked them a few times, but ultimately i still wanted to be friends and i still wanted to talk to them, so i unblocked them every time. i did warn them though, every single time.
one day, they sent me something of a show i liked, a seriously messed up comic. i, of course, reacted with a 'hey wtf', and promptly blocked them, without warning them first this time. then they messaged me on another account, and the conversation goes as follows:
f = friend
me = yours truly
f: yo hi i'm not mad or anything but can i ask why you blocked me on \[other account name\]? i'm genuinely not mad, i'm just confused, i don't think i did anything to upset you this time
me: stop fricking sending me gross art of things i like
f: dude im- f\*ck off,, its literally just art, its not like its real jfc. i understand it makes you uncomfortable and yes i probably should have stopped sending you that sh\*t but if i remember correctly, most of that stuff i sent had an nsfw warning, you can literally choose not to look at it. like, if youre going to block me over some immature shit like that warn me first, yeah?
now after reading this message, i am absolutely livid. nothing they sent me had a nsfw warning. i did warn them, several times, and each time they ignored it.
me: literally nothing you sent me had a nsfw warning. and i also told you to stop so many times surely you'd have seen it coming
f: its just? such an immature reason, i dont undrstand
f: like f\*ck, you could send me bloody animals gore or some sh\*t and yeah i'd be disgusted but i wouldn't block you
as im reading what they send, i'm growing angrier and angrier. im thinking 'tf??????' i'm immature? ok lol
i should mention that at the time of this, i wasnt doing very good mentally, and i liked these shows because they were fun and made me feel happy. and the thing is, my friend knew about all of this as i'd often talk to them about it in detail
every time i told them to stop, the downright said no, literally saying at one point, 'why not persist to make your life miserable?'
anyways, we still talk from time to time, they moved towns and i dont see them often. so, i just want to know, am i the asshole in this situation?
TLDR- friend gets mad at me for blocking them when i told her several times to stop sending me lewd art of shows i like, calling me immature for blocking them for this reason
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "taking a coworker to HR and getting them in trouble",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking a coworker to HR and getting them in trouble
|
I work for a large company in an office of around 600-700 people. Being a very corporate environment, most of the time politics is a sort of off-limits topic. Over the last 2-3 months my desk mates who sit near me (two women in their late 20s) have started to listen to a feminist podcast. They talk about this podcast all day it feels like, and routinely try to drag me into their conversations looking for a male perspective.
Originally I was okay with this, but the more they discussed this podcast and the longer they listened, the more hostile the discussions became. To the point where I felt like I was basically being used as a stand in for men in general, so they could gripe at me and tell me how awful men are. Eventually, after the 10th time being told I just can't understand because of my male privilege, and how men have it so easy, I chose to disengage completely. Over the course of 2-3 weeks I told them repeatedly that I didn't want to talk about that stuff at work anymore and that I feel uncomfortable with it.
Despite this they just didn't let up and continued to make snide remarks about how I wouldn't engage them because of male fragility. Eventually, a line was crossed where they started to interrogate me about my personal life, and one of them looking me up online and discovered I'm gay, and started asking me about being gay and how I probably just don't 'get' the male/female relationship dynamic since I'm gay, and that is why I felt uncomfortable.
At this point I had enough, and went to HR asking for me seat to be moved. I tried not to explain why but they insisted or else they wouldn't move me, and when I explained why I wanted to move both of the women I had a problem with got written up and disciplined. Now my other coworkers who weren't involved but are also on my team (mostly women also) are treating me like a pariah and telling me how one of them is a single mother and how could I do that to someone trying to support a child on their own.
Am I the asshole here? Should I have just kept ignoring them and not gone to HR?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
{
"description": "cancelling dinner plans on my 18th birthday",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for cancelling dinner plans on my 18th birthday?
|
Hey guys. This is my first post on AITA, and I came here because I can’t figure out if I’m the asshole in my upcoming story.
So for my 18th birthday, I had plans to go to brunch with my family at an upscale restaurant in a nearby city. These plans were cancelled because my twin brother had a last minute party the night before the brunch was supposed to happen, and he didn’t want to get up for brunch. This was fine, we all figured we would get dinner instead. In comes my mother.
She lets us all know last minute that she has plans at 6:30, for a church group that she has skipped in the past. Therefore, our dinner would have to be around 4:30 (instead of what I thought would have been 6:00-7:00) and instead of going to the restaurant in the city, we would have to choose somewhere in my hometown. All of this is told to me around 1:00 the day of. I was pissed off, but I didn’t want to tell my mom to change her plans, (the church group is one of the only times she really socializes) so I bit my tongue.
My mom asked me what restaurant I wanted to go, and I just told her to pick whatever she wanted, as I planned the whole brunch meal and it didn’t work out, and I didn’t feel like planning again. I said I wasn’t really happy about having to go earlier, but it was fine, brunch turning into dinner turning into early dinner isn’t that big of a deal.
THEN, my brother informs us that he has made plans to meet his girlfriend’s family for the first time, and could we push the dinner back a half hour to an hour? I got pissed again, say whatever, you guys do what you want, and leave.
My mom then comes talk to me again about an hour later, and ask what we’re doing and where I want to go for dinner. I say I don’t care, we don’t have to do anything at all. My brother hearing this, comes back again, and says that his girlfriends family cancelled and now he has invited her to our dinner.
At this point, I say I would prefer to cancel the dinner altogether. I wasn’t in the mood to spend time with anyone anymore, and it was way too complicated. I thought we should have made a plan and stuck with it, but everyone else’s business and last minute plans (that didn’t have to happen) got in way. In the end, my mom got pissed off at me, my brother and dad said nothing.
So Reddit, should I have just sucked it up and gone along with whatever ended up happening? Should I have agreed to continue to try to plan this dinner at my own expense, but for my family’s sake? Am I the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
9tzdsg
|
{
"description": "telling my gf this is a lie",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my gf this is a lie
|
We were having a casual chat about whatever and it came to answering the door to random people. She said she mostly never answers the door, which i knew immediately as bullshit as she always answers the door. I tell her that I know she always answers, and she thinks for a bit and says she does, and that she was just thinking about how she doest want to answer so she assumed real fast she never did answer. I said “so you lied”.
“No”
“you just said you never answered the door, but now you’re saying you almost always do”
“i had an answer in my head that sounded good enough to me so i gave it to you”
-skipping a bit-
Her- “its like answering some free response question on a test, i can give a GREAT answer by thinking about it more and get 6 points, or spend less time on it and have a GOOD answer for like 3 or 4 points or something”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“both the answers i gave you were right, the second one was just more right”
No, your first answer wasn’t right at all. Not going to the door, and almost always going to the door are not the same. I know its really some small issue but I don’t like how she thinks thats just a mistake. I feel like she would lie about things and not owe up to it, say it was just a “mistake”. Am i the asshole for taking this small thing too far? Or am I right?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
2ro1hY1hzmloFs5CkK5Mztw2LaKmKDww
|
avmkkn
|
{
"description": "not maintaining a relationship with my birth mother",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not maintaining a relationship with my birth mother?
|
I am adopted. I've always known & don't recall a time when I didn't. I also never had any real urge to seek out my birth parents. My parents are awesome, my extended family loving. It just never came up. My family was my family & I was cool with that.
Fast forward to 2000ish. I'm in college on Long Island and heading into Manhattan for a concert with my girlfriend & a friend via train. We get to Penn Station & as we are walking down the concourse, a woman comes up to me & says:
"This is going to sound like a weird question, but do you have a summer birthday?"
Yes.
"Is your birthday in August?"
Yes again (did i drop my wallet, like, WTF).
"Is your birthday August 7th?"
Yes again. Now we're both freaking out.
"Wait here, i need to go get someone who might be your father!"
She runs off & comes back 30 seconds later with a guy who looks a LOT like i do now. The questions continue. End result: these two are my birth parents. As teens (14 &15), she got pregnant, had me & put me up for adoption. They broke up & she moved down to Florida. 15 years later, they meet at a funeral in NY & end up getting back together, eventually marrying. While apart, he had married, had another son & divorced. That day, they were on the same train as me and my friends, sitting in seats facing us for an hour. Apparently i looked so much like his other son that she could not let it go without confronting me, & she turned out to be right. Obviously, mind fucking blown.
i have not seen her in person since that day. I occasionally interact with her on FB, but have not really let her into my life. a real relationship is something she would very much like to have. she had been trying to find me for an extremely long time (ads in the paper, career in private investigation). They celebrated my birthday every year. I have no ill will towards her. In fact, I'm quite grateful for her choice, as she could've gone a different route & i would not be typing this today. She is a very kind, caring person who simply made a mistake at a young age.
I've kept my distance for a few reasons. One is respect for my actual parents. their reaction to this situation has always been a bit awkward & i don't want to upset them. I also find the prospect of relaying my entire life story to a whole new "family" very daunting.
I know i could make her LIFE by simply being a part of it.I'll see her comment on FB with allusions to regret & feelings of loss & it makes me feel shitty. i have occasionally reached out on Mother's Day or her birthday, but am not consistent with it b/c I often just feel weird or uncomfortable about it. Sometimes, i feel like i want to engage. i have a half brother I've never met. Still, i can't bring myself to put the wheels in motion. If not for this insane circumstance, I'd've never been in this position. My emotions have been all over the place for the past 19 years & I'm looking for some outside opinions.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ax7jt3
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend to talk to his ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to talk to his ex
|
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years now but before we were together he had a girlfriend for about 2 years and from what he’s told me she didn’t treat him very well and while he’s admitted he wasn’t great to her either (not abusive just neither had a lot of trust for the other and both had very high expectations) I’m obviously pretty biased against her.
After they broke up and we got together they still spoke sometimes and I made it clear I was uncomfortable with it especially since he hadn’t told her we were a couple so they stopped speaking.
Recently she messaged him again to catch up and apologise for how she treated him. He didn’t tell me they were talking until a few days later I saw her name pop up on his phone when he got a message and he claimed he was going to tell me but didn’t expect them to keep talking.
He knows I’m uncomfortable with it but he doesn’t want to stop talking to her. I know I need to remember she was a huge part of his life and I don’t want to ruin this friendship for him but it makes me quite insecure that he still wants to talk to her.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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| null |
AITA - Adults should be able to do group projects!?
|
Okay..so I will write the extended version and include a TL:DR at the end. I am in the last year of my grad program for counseling. I am taking a trauma class and we are supposed to co-present a chapter with a partner picked by the teacher. As I am in the process of moving I reached out to my partner six weeks before our presentation was due to divide up responsibilities and figure out what we wanted to focus on. He ignored my first two emails, and then two weeks later wrote me saying he had read all the work, made the power point, and found supporting material. I told him I wanted to contribute, so if he could send his work along I will add my stuff to it. It has been three weeks of me trying to see what work he did so I can add my work to it. He keeps saying he'll send it along but never does. I am feeling frustrated because it has been very difficult to work with him. I sent him my presentation through Google drive so that we could both just combine, but he is ignoring that. He has now started complaining that I am not doing any work but ignoring my attempts to help... I have been saving our emails so that I can show the teacher I've been trying.... but I feel like that's ridiculous to have to do in grad school. His reasoning for slow responses is that he works full time and has internship (which is 300 hours over 16 weeks)... however I recently found out he is only in practicum (which is 100 hours over 16 weeks)... and to be fair... I also work full time and manage internship. I dont know what to do really, and I am feeling like an asshole for hounding him...
TL:DR - Grad school classmate is complaining I am not contributing to group project when I keep sending my work over to help. Refuses to collaborate with me, and has resulted in me pestering him.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b1rc4o
|
{
"description": "calling my mother racist",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling my mother racist?
|
A bit of backstory: I live at home still, with my girlfriend, and for a while we have endured listening to my mother saying incredibly racist remarks such as that she would never date Asians, saying Aboriginal Australians should “piss off” to the desert,
Anyway, so just over two weeks ago we were out for a birthday dinner for my younger brother; it was him, my girlfriend, my mother, grandmother and me.
We were sitting there, all was going well. Suddenly, out of nowhere, my mother starts talking about how Muslims shouldn’t be able to live here (Australia). My girlfriend gets upset by this, as she is very sensitive on the topic of equality, excuses herself and gets up and steps outside.
I however, remaining at the table decide that I should speak up against her. I said “can you please not make such racist remarks in public please?” She argues that it isn’t racism, and that her points are “all true.”
I tried not to escalate things much further, so I simply said “can it just wait until we get home?” But she kept insisting on trying to convince me it wasn’t racist, and that if my girlfriend has a problem with it, that’s her concern. This annoyed me. I said “don’t imply that I can’t think for myself, this DOES upset me.”
Anyway, I got up and said I’m leaving, and everyone else followed.
When we got home, My grandmother swung around and said “Majora46’s girlfriend, don’t you ever leave the table! That was very rude. I don’t appreciate being called a racist.” It’s worth noting that nobody actually called her a racist.
I said “she didn’t do anything wrong,” and my grandmother insisted it was embarrassing that she left, and I said “what’s embarrassing is sitting with people making a bunch of racist remarks in public.”
My grandmother said to me “don’t you ever come to my house again, don’t ask me for anything ever again,” and I just said “alright fine, I won’t.”
When I came back, I apologised to my grandmother, but she continued being hostile, as did my mother. I refused to apologise to the latter, because I don’t feel as if I have done anything wrong to her. She then complained about us (my girlfriend and I) laying around the house not doing anything, but that isn’t true.
I started to get worked up at this point. I felt as if I were being attacked for standing up against racism. My girlfriend pulled me back to the room saying I needed some space to relax, but my mother kept coming at me. She said I’m talking to him.” my girlfriend replied “he needs some time to calm down” but my mother started screaming in her face, and things kind of died down a bit after that
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
asw9fp
|
{
"description": "letting my brother go bankrupt",
"pronormative_score": 57,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for letting my brother go bankrupt?
|
My siblings and I had kind of a traumatic childhood. After the last of our parents died, we stopped speaking much. I have a brother (48) and a sister (43).
My older brother was always very aloof about how well he was doing. He went to a good college and got a high paying job and for years he made more than me while I was struggling. He is in real estate. When I was looking to buy my first home I asked him for advice and he gave it to me, but then sent me an invoice. I stopped communicating with him on any regular basis at that point.
I got my life together and now am married, expecting a baby, and am financially stable.
I hadn’t heard from either sibling in almost 6 years. I learned my brother had moved to a new country in passing in an email from my sister.
Yesterday he called and said he’s gone bankrupt and he needs $65,000 to avoid bankruptcy plus another $23,000 to keep his kids in college. I told him no. My sister is calling now telling me I have to support him because we are family.
I’m doing fine but not so fine that I have tens of thousands of dollars easily accessible. He hasn’t spoken to me in ten years, did not fly in for my wedding, and did not respond to the email I sent to the family letting them know we were expecting.
I can see the reverse of this though that it’s not his kids fault that my relationship with him is strained and maybe I should at least help with their college. It wouldn’t be an easy thing. We’d have to cancel an upcoming vacation, put off getting a second car (our current car is pretty small for a baby) and I wouldn’t be able to take as much time off after the baby is born.
He is family, bankruptcy is serious, and this would probably be a major bridge burner if I stand firm on it. But also, there’s a long list of people I’d more readily lend money to.
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
axgi7h
|
{
"description": "wanting my gf to cook for me Daily",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA For Wanting My GF to Cook for Me Daily?
|
We're both 22, and I have my own place. She moved in about 6 months ago and she's in grad school so basically has no money. So We agreed that she could live with me rent/utility free if she'd pack me a lunch everyday for work and she'd make dinner nightly and we'd go out 1-2 days a week for dates. We rotate cleaning, but she prob does more than me in that regard. She's a fucking amazing cook for being 22 like my god, I've never experienced home cooked meals like this before. For lunch she packed me a chicken parm sandwich and veggies which was amazing I love her chicken parm. And for dinner her parents came over so she made my 2 favourite things, roast beef, mashed potatoes and cheesecake for dessert. It was so amazing, my coworkers always are so jealous of my lunches because she makes them like gourmet and dinners too. After dinner tonight with her parents I was helping cleaning up and she looked annoyed and asked me if I felt good treating her like a slave. I was confused and asked her what she means and she got mad and said she's done with cooking and feels like she treats me like a king while all I do is just help out with small tasks like washing up. I just told her that this was our agreement though and she called me a pig and an ass clown (lol) for making her cook daily.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
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|
b4fxcl
|
{
"description": "quitting my job with two weeks notice even though I know months ahead of time that I will have to leave",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I quit my job with two weeks notice even though I know months ahead of time that I will have to leave?
|
So I graduated last May and have been working full time at this job since September. It’s in a very busy, very under staffed doctors office where the owners act like we are disposable. 6 people have been fired since I started, most over very minor things. We walk on eggshells. I am currently trying very hard to get into graduate school, which is why I took this job in the first place, because It gives me the experience hours that I need (while also allowing me to pay my bills). When I was hired, I told them that I would be interested in staying here until I started school again. While I love my job itself and many of my coworkers, my managers suck and we are extremely overworked and underpaid.
My sister, my mom, and I have had a rough year in our personal lives. My mom offered to take us on a 2 month long European vacation over the summer. The trip of a lifetime! By this time, I will already have applied to schools so my working this job is not going to be as important for my future as It is now. I am debating whether I should give them notice now, or wait until we’re ready to leave and simply give them 2 weeks notice.
Honestly, my hesitation is because of my coworkers. Summer is our busy season and they will be the ones who have to pick up the slack when I am gone. They will most likely not be able to hire and fully train someone in only 2 weeks. However I am worried that if I give them more notice than that, they will simply tell me to leave, and finding a new job who will take me on knowing I will be gone for 2 months will be difficult.
So what do you guys think, WIBTA if I only give them 2 weeks notice before my trip?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
ajd9lj
|
{
"description": "totally ghosting",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for totally ghosting?
|
So basically this girl is in town, I met her while traveling and now she is in the country I’m currently living. She had really early flights to get her like red eyes but she landed and we made plans to meet for dinner. We had been talking on messenger a bunch and really connected, she actually is rly nice and cool. Anyway we make these plans and she says she is coming with her cousin, honestly I don’t care that much about that though the more the merrier. I tell her the restaurant and she says she is in a cab 15 min away. I get their first so I hold a table, the best one in the restaurant for 3. The place is packed so I’m getting all these looks and it’s pretty uncomfortable. Anyway 45 min go by and no word or anything from her. I eventually say fuck it and go leave to meet the boys for drinks. An hour later she messages me saying SHE FELL ASLEEP! Now she is texting saying she on the way, at the restaraunt, in town, let’s meet up. I’ve just been ghosting her completely. Should I give her another shot or say fuck it and move on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
ilv95xilOt3TRSLB12eclfgTPzrum0Fe
|
a7ekxl
|
{
"description": "being a little miffed that a girl I'm seeing wouldn't come to the door to get something I'm dropping off for her",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being a little miffed that a girl I'm seeing wouldn't come to the door to get something I'm dropping off for her
|
Long story short, we had a bit of an accident the other night and I was using my lunch break to go pick up and then drop off some Plan B because she's had a shit couple of days(got suspended from work, could lose her pharm tech license, not really feeling so great because she finally started taking her meds again, lots of stuff).
So I called her to let her know I was on my way snd she was like "cool just leave it at the door." And I was like "ummm what? Are you not home?" And she said "No I'm in my room I just don't wanna see anyone so just leave it behind the trashcan." So I said "Really?" and it just didn't go well from there and she hung up on me shortly afterwards when I said she was being a little dramatic, like its 10 steps to her front door.
I left her a note apologizing in the bag, was like "you're having a bad day, just wanted to do something nice, sorry for trying to make it about me, hope you feel better" but like...am the asshole? I get she's having a bad couple of days but like...asking me to just drop it off at her door like a delivery guy seems a little much.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
fk5km4wKcAD4DZEHYXH9qRSONi52PjQT
|
aqufmn
|
{
"description": "getting very angry about my husband's mistrust",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting very angry about my husband's mistrust?
|
Okay so loooooong story short. Two years ago on December 13 I discovered that my husband had been cheating for 4 years with a total of 8 different women. We have three kids and a life I mostly love and I love him as well so I made the decision to work through it and build a new marriage. We did intensive therapy, he did sex addiction treatment, and we pretty much at this point have worked through this shit to get to what I thought was a very steady place in our relationship.
(I want to take a second to acknowledge that my decision is not the decision many here would make. It's not even a decision I would push other people to make. I always figured if I got cheated on I would walk, but when it came down to it I chose to stay. )
Anyway, today was of course Valentine's day and my body decided to postpone shark week so we were able to be intimate. After sex my husband asked if I would ever cheat on him. This of course snapped me out of my pleasant haze. I honestly was insulted and probably snapped at him when I answered of course I wouldn't.
When pushed for his reason for asking this he mentioned that I have white discharge. Which is completely normal when one is a couple days out from their period. I sent him an article about it and answered his question as calmly as possible. His reasoning is basically that he cheated so he thinks karma is somehow going to cause me to cheat.
I'm very irritated at this point and tell him he's fucking stupid if he really thinks I would cheat. That it's completely unfair for him to distrust me because he fucked up. I'm honestly pretty angry and frankly I feel like this is really fucking unfair. I've never done a single thing to indicate I would cheat.
His final words on the matter is that sometimes something will trigger him to start being paranoid and that it's nothing I've done. But I'm still pissed.
Am I an asshole for continuing to be angry about this? Should I just try and make it not matter to me?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b4czwn
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{
"description": "telling my mom that she should not take my sister to a trip to Los Angeles",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mom that she should not take my sister to a trip to Los Angeles?
|
So this is my first post ever, and english is not my mative language, so sorry in advance.
Background: Some time ago, my 16 year old sister (S) created a fandom account, after that, she started uploading videos to YouTube and she has done really well, her videos have views and now she has like 23k subs. She likes to go to her idol's events, although the problem with this is that she must travel 4-5 hours each time she goes to an event because we do not live in a city near the capital.
Since she does not work, everything is paid by my mom: tickets to events, bus tickets, meals, hotel, etc; all this with the justification that "it is not an expense, it is an investment".
On the other side, my mom (M) has been a single mom for several years, she takes care of all our expenses (incluiding me, my grandmother and my sister), which is really hard because the situation is not easy. Sometimes she struggles a lot for economical reasons and she limits herself to several things.
A few months ago, S got it into her head the idea that she wanted to make a trip to Argentina (we are from Mexico), she said she wanted to go there and that her idol was going to go on those dates. A couple of months ago S convinced M to take her and at the end of February they made their trip to Argentina for a week. I was happy for S because it was something she wanted for a while and I had never seen S so excited about something. The only detail with this trip is that it came out too expensive.
This is where the problem starts: A week after they arrived from Argentina, S told M that now she wanted to go to the VidCon in LA this July! I objected because its really not fair for M to have so many unnecessary expenses, since they have just arrived from Argentina and now S wants to travel again. Surely someone is thinking that I am envious or jealous, but it is not like that bc I was also invited to that trip.
I did not stay quiet and talk to M, I told her things like: "Why are you worrying about unnecessary expenses?" "you two just went to Argentina 3 weeks ago" "at least demand her to do something, she must earn it" (S does not make any effort for her things, doesn't attend school as she should, and has even said that she is not going to study for her college admission exam the next year bc "i will not pass").
S was there and obviously she got mad at me, but I just feel that she does not care that M gets so much debt that she does not know how to handle the debts. On the other hand, M at the beginning got upset with me and told me that nobody tells her how to spend her money (although she later got on my side)
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b3bd01
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{
"description": "defending my sister against my mom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for defending my sister against my mom?
|
My family is going on vacation in a few months. My sister+BIL are paying for themselves, my mom offered to pay for me. I thanked her numerous times. Yesterday, my mom sent me flight info. I was at work so I didn't really look at it. My mom texted me:
> Mom: Did you get my email?
Me: About the trip? Yeah
Mom: And not a single thank you? Jeez. Whatever.
She had sent this info before, and I had already thanked her for then. That's not an excuse, b/c saying thank you is free. I replied something like this:
> Me: I didn't look at it too closely, and to be fair, I did thank you before. But I'm sorry, I was at work when I got the email, and by the time I got home, I had already kind of forgotten about it. But thank you.
> Her: Your sister and you are ungrateful. Whatever.
I asked my sister:
> Me: What'd you do?
Her: I was home yesterday and used her iPad, logged in and forgot to log out. She called me saying to fix it, how could you do this to me, fix this now, etc. She was hysterical and I hung up. I sent her a screenshot showing her how to logout. But she called me back and called me a bitch, ungrateful, etc.
After this, I texted my mom back and told her that I appreciate everything, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, etc. She accepted that but started calling my sister selfish, spoiled, and mean.
I said something like "Maybe she was selfish at the moment, but I don't think she's a selfish person, and she is a nice person. But even nice people can be mean sometimes."
My mom replies saying that she wouldn't help her with her iPad, she hung up on her, and my sister needs to respect and help her parents.
I reply and say it was wrong to hang up, but she was just frustrated. But she did come back and help you, she just needed to calm down for a minute.
My mom says I always take my sisters side and that my mind is already made up. She says my dad, her, and my BIL are all starting to get fed up with my sister.
I said "It's not fair to speak for BIL. You're being unreasonable, you have to realize that other people have feelings too, and that (sisters) intent wasn't to hurt your feelings, she was just upset at the time, just like you. You called her names, she said mean things to you, nobody is innocent here. If you want to see (niece and nephew) you've got to go through (sister).
I kept trying to tell her to view the situation from my sisters POV. Eventually, I got fed up and said something like "I don't want to talk to you while you're being like this. Please don't text me anymore."
She replies saying that she's hopeless, she'll cut contact, she's cancelling the vacation, she's not coming for easter, etc. I said you're not hopeless, stop beating yourself up. But also stop feeling sorry for yourself, you're always seeking validation. You need to love herself for who you are and not for what other people think of you.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b9wos8
|
{
"description": "telling my mother/landlord that Im not comfortable with her offering people she knows the spare room in my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mother/landlord that Im not comfortable with her offering people she knows the spare room in my apartment.
|
Throwaway:
Back story: My mother came into a lot of money when i was around 12 and didn't do anything with it, when i got older myself and my brother told her to invest this money as its doing nothing sitting in a bank account, she bought an apartment, and living/going to college in the same city, she offered me and my girlfriend to rent the place with a third person. We did this and have had 2 house mates, both fine and moved out for their own reasons. I leave to go to another country on my once a year holiday on Monday, and today (Friday) i get a text asking me when i leave. I told her Monday at whatever time from whatever airport, and she sends me this :
"I've offered the use of the spare room in [neighborhood] to [name] my colleague in [work] for a few nights. are ye ok with it."
my reply:"When will they be here"
Mother: "[They] havnt confirmed that [they] will take the offer but next week. he has to finish his dissertation by [date im on holidays]"
my reply: "I mean. if [they] needs it i suppose. But id prefer if you run something like that by me before offering... Im not very comfortable with someone i dont know in my house while im not in the country"
Normally I wouldn't even have to ask AITA, but here's the context , Im unofficially living here, i have no contract with her, and i get a family rate, i pay 400 a month and my gf pays 400, for an apartment that could easily get 1800 if rented to the public. My mother pays for what are called service fees, 1200 a year, they just keep the buildings painted and tidy and pay for the use of communal bins. Shes not saving me a huge amount of money, i would be paying the same somewhere else, but my place definitely would not be as nice.
I dont mind her friends staying over or people that i know and she knows, and even when she needs to say some times (im in a good location for her for staff/xmas parties or just nights out) But i have no idea who this person is, and not only will i not be in the house, with all my stuff (Xbox, tv high end PC with expensive peripherals - and sentimental stuff , things from holidays with my girl friend, photos etc just stuff i cant afford to replace for any reason) I wont even be in the same country!
The thought of someone in my space, with mine and my girlfriends stuff, who i have never met and have no idea what they even look like or act like fills me with anxiety and makes me deeply deeply uncomfortable.
Am i being an ass for not being okay with this considering that she let me rent here for such a low price for how nice the place and area is?
side note: I am planning on increasing the amount i pay after i get my degree and start working after college in just under a year - I dont believe that i am taking advantage of her, but i guess i would like an outside perspective on this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
UWYLfwFPM4hFSuFBI3Vtx8knmTmMQsu8
|
b8514w
|
{
"description": "refusing to be involved in a family argument not involving me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to be involved in a family argument not involving me?
|
For context, this happened around 1-2 years ago and we've made up since long ago. But, I've always keep wondering if I was the asshole here.
​
My brother got caught by my parents with weed. This lead to a big verbal fight between him and my parents for several days. However, my parents (especially mom) were also mad at me because I mostly refused to get involved in "family matters". As much as possible, I stayed busy with what I was doing while they argued in the background. When asked to state my opinion on the argument, I basically said it has nothing to do with me and I don't want to get involved. When asked to relay a message to my brother because they were too angry to speak with him, I got really angry (which is extremely rare for me) and flat out refused to act as a "slave messenger" between them and told them they should tell him directly if it's so important. This eventually ended with us crying because I was being "cold" towards them.
​
Now, I personally believe weed is fine (and occasionally do some now), but my defense is that I don't see any reason why I need to get involved is a shouting match between my family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, we're great outside of the occasional arguments, but I don't believe I should get involved in a stupid argument.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
bYt085YhmEtWz2723u8nA4v61OCqaYTg
|
ahpm1b
|
{
"description": "telling my mom I have homicidal thoughts and urges",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For telling my mom I have homicidal thoughts and urges.
|
I am a man in my 20s, and I have been struggling with homicidal thoughts my entire life. I have never told anyone this. Besides a few fights i have never acted on my impulses.
I love my mom more than anyone in my life, and we can usually tell eachother anything. Recently my thoughts have been more specific. Ive been imagining myself as a contract killer and killing men in vivid detail.
My mom is very christian and has an image of me as a good person and a good son. In a moment of weakness I broke down and told her and now she looks at me completely differently. She says i need to go to church but I dont want too.
She doesnt speak to me anymore really either. Whenever we talk the subject always goes back to me wanting to kill men. I have told her I have never hurt anyone but I dont think she believes me. I asked her if she still loves me and she says she loves certain parts of me, but she doesnt see me like she did before. Its been four months.
I am very sad. She doesnt answer my calls near as much as she did. My father has always hated me too. I feel very alone.
She told me that she wishes she never knew that about me. I told her I was just trying to open up to her. Am i wrong for not keeping it away from her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
Ynj54LlNKW0uqpSm0vySpwaayLrFzqRa
|
a2fu5i
|
{
"description": "not wanting to play computer games with my cousin",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to play computer games with my cousin?
|
So, I am 16 and my cousin is about 12. About a year or so ago we used to play a lot of TF2 and Minecraft together via Discord, but at some point the other things in life got in my way, and I just felt too tired to talk to him in general most of the time. He has much more energy than I do, it seems, and so is much more eager to play together when I'd rather just play Rocket League or Minecraft in single player and relax with some hot cocoa.
He spammed me a lot at some point, sometimes even called me on my phone, so I ended up setting my Discord status to "invisible" so he wouldn't see that I was online.
This friday he called me again on my way back from the choir, and I thought "well it won't take a piece out of me to play with him once in three months" so... we played some TF2 and Minecraft together. I have to say, it was pretty fun for a bit before I started getting a headache. I told him I'd download War Thunder on my desktop and then we can play it sometime. However, I forgot to download the game and just did not feel like talking to him in general.
Today he started spamming me again while I was playing some singleplayer Rocket League, and when I told him that I was too tired right now and that I have a hard school day tomorrow(Actually true) he pretty much went "who cares".
I really don't have anything against him, but he is kind of not nice sometimes, I'm trans and he knows it, yet he keeps calling me by the name I don't want to be called by, he is really annoying at times, and I get this is all part of being a 12 year old, but I'd just prefer to play with someone older and a bit more mature. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
fYhkmooAvBbjAwPbQAR4h5jtygCnVa6T
|
awykin
|
{
"description": "hating my stepfamily, especially my 11-year-old stepsister",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for hating my stepfamily, especially my 11-year-old stepsister?
|
Okay, I really am going to regret this later.
Let me set the stage. I am 17 years old and I have divorced parents. I go one week with mom, one week with dad. I absolutely love my mom. We've had our rough patches, but we're close through and through.
My dad is okay. He cheated on my mom, causing the divorce. He married his paramour, then they broke up. Things were decent when my dad was single. It was just me, my dog, and my sister.
Then dad got with someone else. Immediately red flags go up. This woman is around 10 years younger, yet she looks older. Let's call her Brittany. Her and her daughter move in a week after I found out my dad was seeing someone else and I find out they got engaged a week later.
Brittany drinks a lot of box wine, leaves her things everywhere, and never cleans. She makes weird ass meals every day that rots in the fridge. She didn't have a job when she moved in, brought in student loans, and vapes with an old, disgusting juul.
She has strong views on feminism, but on a "men are pigs and woman rock!" side. My dad is a POC and she constantly brags to her friends about how she's a white woman who dates outside of her race. She always wears flip-flops and cheap, dirty pajamas and thinks it's quirky.
Brittany has a daughter I will call Kara. Kara is a clumsy 11 year old obsessed with looking older. She steals me and my sister's things so much, my sister (18) stayed with my mom full time shortly after that. Kara gets into my makeup and fucks it all up, steals my clothes and copic markers, and never cleans.
Kara is irresponsible and told my dad about how she steals, but he did nothing. She thinks it's okay now. I have anxiety, and the way she stomps everywhere makes me panic. I told her politely to stop, and then Brittany got onto me for it. My dad only pays attention to her and ignores me, so i spend time in my room all day.
Then, to make things worse, my stepfamily and dad decided to get a pitbull. He's a decent dog, but he and my old dog, a small spitz and German shepherd mix, fight constantly because they didn't introduce the dogs slowly. My dad knew fully that dogs barking triggers my anxiety, let alone fighting, but he still got the dog.
My stepfamily never takes care of it. I was the one taking the dogs out for walks and picking up poop when i was at my dad's house. If I'm not, poop piles up in the loft and the dogs become reckless and fight more without walks. It's really taking a toll on me mentally.
I feel really bad for disliking them, especially because Kara is only 11. What's your take on this?
Tl:dr, My dad remarried and it's tearing my life apart.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
tSD2MuspC78gpDbsOgxYBaGu9X1X4DYV
|
b9yprn
|
{
"description": "wanting my husband to join my phone plan",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA because I want my husband to join my phone plan?
|
So before me and my husband got married we were on separate phone plans. I had my own and he was on his mom's with his dad and sister. He never paid his bill, his mom did. His argument before we were married was it saves him money and we're not married yet. I thought that was funny that a 30 something yr old still had his mom pay for his cell phone, but whatever. I told him once we get married he needs to go on my plan. He agreed.
Fast forward to about a year later, the day after our wedding. Me, my husband and his mom are sitting and chit chatting. We get on the subject of cell phones and his mom brings up the fact she still is paying for his phone plan. Then tells him that now that me and him are married he should go on my plan. I had the biggest smile on my face. I told him, see even your mom says so. Of course he tries to worm his way out of it. He tells his mom it's ok I can stay on your plan.
So now, today I bring it up again. He's still trying to worm his way out of it. He asks why is it so important that I join your plan? I tell him it's because I feel that now that were married, your an adult you shouldnt still have your mom paying for your bills. Again his argument is still why would I switch, I'll have to pay more. Don't you want to save money?
So AITA or does my husband need to grow up and pay his own phone bill?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
vtNFn9QHNV3SqhSXABIQZTMwCbHPv4Rf
|
aio0x8
|
{
"description": "telling my bf to remove a former fuck buddy from his friends list",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for telling my bf to remove a former fuck buddy from his friends list?
|
My bf isn't a redditor but we sometimes scroll through this sub together, so if he happens to be reading this... Hi M...
​
We got into a big fight over some chick who he told me was a former casual sex partner. He told me they weren't even friends, they would do things then she would leave right after. He told me she was actually married (she's not anymore) but in the process of leaving her husband so he made sure she completely understood what they were doing wasn't anything serious.
​
​
The reason I know all this is because she had posted on his FB wall a song, and said "this will forever remind me of you". So I asked him who she was and he told me what I wrote above. I told him I really don't appreciate her posting stuff like that on his wall if she was just a former casual lay. We talked about her and I told him if she does it again we're going to have problems. I made it pretty obvious I was insecure and uncomfortable about her. He basically laughed at me, told me "she's all the way in \[state 1000s of miles away\], you don't have anything to worry about" and then even got in a VC in discord and laughed and told our mutual friends "haha my gf is so jealous". I decided to just forget about it and turn the other cheek, which I did. I wasn't bothered and we had a good rest of the day.
​
​
That is until literally the next day. Everything was fine but then I remembered something from a few months before. She had actually posted a bunch of monkey emojis (🙊🙉🙈) to him on their friendiversary. I didn't get bothered at all when this happened because he didn't acknowledge her post, and I kind of figured she was just some former casual partner from his past. But realizing it was the same girl who posted the song and comment on his wall, when she KNOWS we're in a relationship (she liked our relationship post and I post things on his wall all the time), and knowing she was just a notch in his belt so she was quite literally remembering and reminiscing on his damn penis, not their "friendship", infuriated me. She was being blatantly disrespectful, so I got really mad (at her, not him which I told him this) and told him she's being disrespectful, and I told him "Unfriend her." The reason I TOLD him instead of asking or just talking to him about it is because of how he reacted the previous day when I brought her up. Also, he always tells me if I want something from him or want him to do something, "TELL me because I can't read your mind". So that's what I did.
​
​
At first he just said "Whatever, I removed her. Hope you're happy." I told him to stop being an ass after he said this, and he said "I'm the ass?" then we both just kind of blew up on each other. He is claiming he could care less about her, but he doesn't like that I'm "giving him an ultimatum" by telling him to remove her. I'm feeling really hurt and angry now because of his reaction to removing a girl who apparently means nothing to him, and again the only reason I TOLD him was because I had brought it up the other day she was making me uncomfortable yet he did nothing. Honestly Facebook is cancer and this all feels so childish typing it out, but I do use Facebook for memes and to share things with my bf, and I'd rather not see some girl from his past blatantly disrespecting our relationship when I get on. If things were reversed and some dude from my past was posting stuff like this on my wall, I would've removed/blocked or even messaged him and told him to stop in a heartbeat. So yea, I'm hurt because I feel like it's no big deal to him and he doesn't care, and I feel like he didn't want to remove her which is why he's so defensive now.
​
​
So yea... Who is the asshole? Me? Him? Both of us?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
iDOq5NNWMi5l4yVNFSCrhDA6Bvh3RknF
|
b5an9h
|
{
"description": "wanting more initiative and work from my wife",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting more initiative and work from my wife?
|
Long story short:
Wife and I have two special needs children, and I used to be in the military until I was separated due to not making rank twice. Our medical benefits and ABA homecare that was so critical to our two kids evaporated six month later and we lost all help regarding our children.
Life has slowly deteriorated and I'm off working as sole breadwinner over the last few years as she tries to take care of both kids and maintain a clean home, make meals, educate children, etc.
I get kids ready for school before I leave, waking up before she does, then go to work at a demanding, soulless job all day, then coming home, getting kids handed off to me immediately as she escapes to her room the remainder of the day while I make dinner, clean kitchen, dining room, vacuum house, sweep/mop floors, take out trash, clean bathrooms, do laundry and more...DAILY. Because I come home to a trashy house and her excuse is she is too stressed out and she's doing all she can and yet, I'm the one doing everything morning and evening every day in a span of hours. It's just as exhausting to me and I don't get the nice evening break she does every evening - not to mention me taking the children out all weekend while she rests at home and 'rejuvenates.' I won't lie, I have said some choice words but it usually ends up in fights, so I've stopped saying things and just do these things without fuss.
Every time I see her, she's always on her phone or computer and gets angry when I ask her to help with the littlest thing. She claims she does so much, but perception is reality and I don't see the results she claims. Sex life non existent and getting counseling or help is impossible since we have crappy health insurance and can't afford such services to help our family.
AITA for wanting more out of my wife right now?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
9SPVwxetWf0kYOCV2O57uCtxOanvTfVT
|
akifty
|
{
"description": "distancing myself from my helicopter parents",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for distancing myself from my helicopter parents?
|
Hello everyone! This is my first time posting in this subreddit so sorry if this isn't the correct formatting. I'm Aria and I'm 17, and in 8 days I'm moving to a university dormitory on my own on the other side of the country. I've never really clicked with my parents, and I decided that now would be the best time to not *completely* cut them off, but definitely put some distance between us.
​
My father is violent and always has been, and is not the most pleasant person to be around due to his temper. My mother is very passive, but is controlling, and put tremendous pressure on me since before school to study extremely hard (this is probably because she wasn't able to finish high school due to pregnancy). Between each other, they don't have the best dynamic - Dad was in his early thirties when he first met Mum, who was in her early-mid teens. Yeah. I don't really wanna talk about that. But you can probably guess the power dynamic between them. Due to my mother not really having much control, she exercises control by living vicariously through my older brother and I.
​
There have been lots of traumatic experiences I've had growing up either from tremendous academic pressure or my Dad's temper and substance abuse, numerous of which involved the police and at one point a domestic violence order was put in place to protect my brother and I. As such I've been going to counselling for the past 3 years.
​
Even though I'm finally moving out, I have to come back over Christmas. My brother is also moving out in a week but will live in the same city as my parents. He agreed that I could stay with him, but my mother absolutely did not take it well and made me feel horribly guilty and flat out refused. I played it off as I was only planning on staying with him for 2 weeks, but I think she's still weird about it. My university has the option for a preferred name, which I'm either putting my middle name or another name since I want this city and school that my parents haven't had contact with to be truly my own, and I feel that my first name is kinda looming over me.
​
But I still feel the moral dilemma? My mother is a victim of my father's violence and control (as am I), but I can't deny the psychological damage done to me. I'm a first generation Australian and both of my immigrant parents are high school drop outs, so they had to work really hard just to feed us, which even then they couldn't often do (they would make US feel guilty for this but I still feel horrible and ungrateful). I wouldn't be cutting them off completely, but I feel that some distance is definitely needed and would be good for my mother too, so that she can maybe develop an identity outside of her children and reevaluate her relationship with my father.
​
So reddit, what do you think? AITA for not wanting to live with them/changing my preferred name?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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vXfMRdJrXQcAIKwvRvAB6ZLV0RAr82J5
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asccba
|
{
"description": "\"body shaming\" a \"friend\" of my wife and wanting to get the money back",
"pronormative_score": 69,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for "body shaming" a "friend" of my wife and wanting to get the money back?
|
Title should actually be "Are We The Assholes" because my wife and myself are involved in it the same way.
Cutting half the backstory, since I hit the character limit hard lol.
Wife's (F)riend makes poor life choices, asks to stay with us for few days, we agree, wife's a cosplayer, has closet full of costumes and props. F stays alone once and decided to try on the costumes. Wife has wide hips, but is not overweight, F is. Costumes dont fit oops. Eveyrthing is uncovered few days before gaming convention we wanted to attend and main costume is ruined.
Now I have to add few details about one costume. I got her one for anniversary gift and it was really hard to get and really expensive. The waiting list is almost a year (if not 2 years recently) and it's a miracle I was able to get a spot for her. The costume is made out of special kind of latex, it looks like regular one, but is apparently extremely easy to put on. However, damage it and it's virtually unrepairable as you can't glue it again.
F has apparently figured it out that rubber is stretchy and she could try the outfit. Well, it's apparently not as stretchy as she thought or she handed it poorly and there is huge rip above the buttocks. How do we know it was her who did that? Well she lost a sock in the closet. And nobody else could really do that.
Wife is devastated, I am devastated because I knew she was really excited to use this costume so obviously we confront F.
TL:DR of convo:
F admits she ripped stocking of other costume, then after pushing confesses to trying on the catsuit, offers 20 bucks for repairs, we disagree, tell her the costs and waiting time, calls wife a child and fetishist.
I end the conversation since I won't allow some loser to insult my wife and her hobbies. But hey, day later wife is fuming and she shows me a facebook post F made. Basically playing a victim "They say I destroyed something, want to scam me, W is a child, IJustWantToFeelAgain is fat shaming and they both are disgusting fetishists". Comments are mixed from "Lmao, just block those weirdos", through "Dont confess to anything" and "Why are you body shaming her" to "You have to pay them back". Of course she lied she was allowed to try it on.
We both explained the situation, that contrary to popular belief latex is not fucking cheap, this designer is definitely not cheap, F behaviour is definitely scumy and her fat ass should probably avoid putting on anything that's not hers.
Now I just don't know if we're crazy that we expect to get the money back (cost of the outfit + the fact that it's really hard to buy it) and that in emotions after what we heard we are more than allowed to use the term "fat ass". Or maybe I should also play a victim, because yes, I am guilty of absolutely having a fetish for my wife lol.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
l0x0L6zxnvYW8aeGqXSPCFbrdmwxNJ1I
|
askzgg
|
{
"description": "defending myself against a perceived negative comment from someone I haven't talked to in almost a year",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for defending myself against a perceived negative comment from someone I haven’t talked to in almost a year?
|
The backstory for this post is a little muddled, but the jist is that this dude and I have known each other since freshman year of high school.
We go through high school with some minor hitches, but ultimately come out as friends. I gradually distance myself away from him, however, because he repeatedly shows himself to be a negative person; any statement of opinions or even just casual conversation would usually result with him making a critical or negative comment. Whatever, we graduate high school and go on our way to separate colleges.
First year of post-secondary rolls around, and he and I get in this stupid heated argument in a Facebook group chat because he made some pretty rude comments about me quitting my summer job to focus in university. His comments struck a nerve with me because i was tired and s bit frustrated with classes that day, and also because I had been hearing the same toxic shit come out of his mouth for months at that point, so I fired back, hence the huge fight over messenger (keep in mind I’ve heard stories about him literally sitting on his ass and not doing shit in his jobs from mutual friends who have worked with him, so he shouldn’t be saying shit about work ethic or commitment). We stopped being friends after the whole fiasco, but a few months later he apologizes and admits that he was being an asshole. I apologize for overreacting as I was tired and frustrated that day we started arguing. Everything seems good.
Fast forward to about a year later. We have not talked for almost a year now, save some chit chat about inviting each other out to club and party. I can’t write the whole thing out or else I’ll go over the character limit, but basically it’s him making a joke in a negative manner that I do perceive as a joke and reply in what I thought was also a joking manner, but his replies make it seem serious and so I respond accordingly:
https://imgur.com/a/fGMj4D0/
Last screenshot wouldn’t fit in the album (I’m uploading from Apollo): https://i.imgur.com/yvvu7CP.jpg
I realize this story is biased seeing as I’m one of two conflicting parties involved in it. However, after seeing the screenshots of our messages below, please tell me if I overreacted with him again. I didn’t think I was coming off as “angry” in my replies as he puts it, but maybe I was thinking about our prior history and letting it influence my responses a bit.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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J8m3dHF8r4qyuejy0dm48QQoWD2Op6BV
|
a1cxrs
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{
"description": "kicking a dog",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTA If I kicked a dog?
|
Almost every morning this dog charges me and scrapes, slobbers on and gets dirt on my trousers. It's become a game for it.
It's happened at least 20 times. The owner, a single mother of two I think, has apologised but refuses to keep the dog inside when she's out dropping the kids to school.
The police laugh it off. It's a small dog so it's not a threat.
I've had people comment on my wet and dirty trousers. I can't keep bringing a second pair. I really just don't want to put up with this.
One kick and I'm sure the dog will stay away.
I'm probably going to threaten to kick the dog first and see if that gets me anywhere.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
1Dk6dgRopP17TRrDDmKrTh9TP6KZHNcy
|
aoqknp
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{
"description": "being upset that my boyfriend didn't tell me to not go over",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset that my boyfriend didn’t tell me to NOT go over?
|
TLDR at the bottom
Context:
been together approx 2 years. VERY stable and healthy relationship (imagine at worst a cold shoulder followed by hugs in a few hours, never any “fights” only discussions). Both in our mid-20s. My parents left on a trip for the first time since i was born. He is one of the main caretakers of his grandpa who had an accident about a month ago. We had been discussing me spending a night with him for a couple of weeks but we never set a date. We decided today with my parents being gone and him not working in the morning (very unusual) that I’d spend the night after a taco dinner at his house. At 7pm I had a dinner/galentines. I said I wouldn’t be eating because he and I planned to eat together afterwards. His barber also rescheduled and he had to be there at 7:30 am tomorrow, but this was new info since he was supposed to have that haircut today after work.
The situation:
After work I HAD to drop off packages at the post office but I got there at 5:55 and they chose to close early today. Of course they did. The post is about 10-15 minutes from my house but I ended up spending a nearly hour drive back to my house to get ready for galentines because traffic was terrible. I arrived, got ready, and headed out again close to 7pm. I drove 20 miles to the late night post office, but that took about another hour of traffic.
At around 8pm I called him anxious and stressed because I was so late and still had to pick up chips before arriving. He was supportive, gave me advice that worked to calm me down, and we talked about me going over later and how great it would be to snuggle all night (we essentially lived together our first year but I moved back in with my parents after uni)
We hung up around 8:40ish when I arrived. None of our plans had changed. I didn’t eat dinner, but I stayed for gift exchanges and to play one game. Our texts went like this:
*less than an hour after I arrived*
Him (H): I have to be up early to go to the Berber shop. Oh that’s fun! Don’t worry if you can’t come over babe enjoy your night It’s nice that you are having girl time. We can see each other tomorrow
Me (M): Can I call (sibling) after to see if he's home so I can go sleep with you?
H: If you want to baby but I don’t want you to be rushing around for no reason
M: No but it isn't rushing :) I wanted to see you so much. I'll head over when this game is done?
H: Don’t you want to spend more time with them? Don’t call it early if you don’t have to
M: I want to go with you...
*about 2 hours after I arrived*
H: How are you?? *insert really sweet cheesy memory from when we first started dating*
Me: awww bae. I’m about to go over.
OBVIOUSLY hindsight is 20/20 and I didn’t notice he wasn’t just being nice and making sure I didn’t leave a fun event if I didn’t have to, he was lowkey hinting that it was too late for me to go over. I genuinely thought he just didn’t want to inconvenience me, but I had no problem going to bed right after getting there and waking up early with him for the haircut.
He had good intentions, he didn’t outright tell me not to go because he didn’t want me to feel rejected, BUT I DIDNT GET THE HINT AT ALL. So what’d I do?
I left the place with an excuse, called him in the car and he seemed ambiguous about the time and me going over. I was confused but immediately noticed his wishy washiness so I asked again if he wanted me to spend the night.
He said if I want to.
I said, NO I’m not spending the night unless you’re okay with it, your family is okay with it, and you explicitly want me to go over. If you don’t want me to, just let me know so I can drive to my house (opposite highways.)
A similar conversation ensued where he kept insisting I could go if I wanted to but he also mentioned the time, how he was going to sleep as soon as his shower was done, what time he had to wake up, etc and all the reasons it was inconvenient.
I almost begged him to just tell me yes or no because I was driving and I already took the highway to his house. He never gave me a solid answer. I just said I would be going home.
On the way home, I called my brother and I vented that I was upset because I was hungry (waiting to eat with him), not going to get to spend the night I was looking forward to, and I could have just stayed playing games with friends for longer.
In the process, I went to (ALMOST TO THE SAME AREA AS THE PARTY I JUST LEFT, about another half hour of traffic from an accident!) pick up food since I was starving.
He called before bed and we talked but I was obviously bothered. When I started saying what bothered me, I definitely spoke purely in an emotional whiny tone, I began to cry, and I said I was so frustrated from the whole situation. I cited not having eaten, him not being clear on whether our plans were cancelled or not, and the general disappointment of not being able to see him. I mentioned how annoyed and sad I was that not only would I not spend the night with him but I could have at least eaten with and stayed around my friends longer.
He said that it was nearly 11 when I left (he is right) and that he did mention that I should stay with my friends longer if I wanted to. He also said that if I went over I wouldn’t have eaten anyways since he assumed I ate something from how much later things dragged on.
I said I didn’t care about the food though, it’s just a variable. I said that if I got there, didn’t eat, we went to bed and woke up early I would have been perfectly content because all I wanted was to spend time together. Being hungry after NOT seeing him is just worst.
I was very emotional talking about it and I usually don’t get like that. I almost begged him to just tell me not to go over. I said, “I don’t mind if you thought it was too late and didn’t want me to go, just PLEASE tell me. I took the wrong highway, I made an excuse to leave early, I didn’t eat food, I just wish you said you didn’t want me to go from the beginning.”
I feel crappy because I didn’t make sure he knew that I was aware that he tried to spare my feelings and guide me to what he was implying, but I was just too upset at all the wasted time that I forgot to say it.
After he said those statements, he heard me continue to emotionally cry and vent, he apologized and said he would keep it in mind for the future and try for it to not happen again. He also asked if I’d like him to pick me up in the morning to run errands together and hang out. I agreed. I didn’t even want him to apologize. I was just sad and wanted to see him.
We ended with sending sweet texts apologizing and saying how much we can’t wait to see each other tomorrow morning. The entire thing from leaving the place to my rant ending was about 30-40 minutes. Then we were fine by the time we got off the phone.
But i keep thinking about my reactions and I feel like such an asshole. I know he did it to spare my feelings and with good intentions.
Am I the asshole for reacting that way to him not explicitly saying not go over?
TLDR: sleep overplans with bf got cancelled because it was late but he didn’t tell me explicitly only implied it. I ended up hungry, bored, and lonely so I emotionally cry-bitched at him over the phone even though I knew he had good intentions. Am i the asshole for how I reacted to him beating around the bush?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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diJ1jdMvH6yJYCzasMSWyGlmi7wgkNoP
|
ako37d
|
{
"description": "pushing my grandmother when she stood behind the wall and pushed me/scared me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for pushing my grandmother when she stood behind the wall and pushed me/scared me ?
|
So last night I am sitting behind a couch next to where my grandmother sleeps. I was playing with my dog and when I attempted to get up , I slightly fell and hit the couch( barely made any noise ). I go to talk to my mother in the kitchen . A few minutes later I am going back to my grandmas room and she pushed/grabbed me . Without having any chance to think, I push her with one hand (other hand holding the dog) and than notice it was my grandma . It was a split second reaction. At first she laughs telling me it was a joke , but than she starts crying and saying she never touched me and never scared me and it was all my fault for the argument that followed. Saying that she never hid behind the wall but was in plain sight asking me why I “slapped” the couch. Keep in mind , I gently fell when I was getting up , barely making noise. She kept crying the whole night saying she wants to leave me and my mothers house. This morning she keeps insisting that she never touched me and keeps swearing to god ( she is Orthodox Russian Christian) that she didn’t grab me or scare me.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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AgWznateshNOqEZHru5iuzzx6LPLE1q6
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afxjol
|
{
"description": "kicking my friends/roommates sister off our Hulu account",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for kicking my friends/roommates sister off our Hulu account
|
My roommate and I share a Hulu account that we each pay $6/month for. My friend added a profile for his sister to use. She doesn’t contribute to the account because in my friends reasoning “she’s 14 and has no job and no money”. I wouldn’t have a problem but the thing is, Hulu only lets 2 videos play on an account at the same time. So if both my friend and his sister are watching stuff, that means I can’t watch anything even though I pay for the subscription.
I don’t think it’s fair that someone who isn’t paying for the account is indirectly stopping me from enjoying something that I’m putting money into. I’ve tried talking to my roommate about it but he’s kinda dismissive and last night when I was having problems he seemingly ignored my texts about the issue. I don’t know 100% if that’s the case though.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
ajvLFDlCtKRJrXxeerUfDR4yQ0MD9hEw
|
an3chd
|
{
"description": "asking my landlord to fix damages left by the previous tenant before he got his deposit back",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my landlord to fix damages left by the previous tenant before he got his deposit back?
|
I just moved into a room in a house of five total people, all in their twenties. The guy who was in my room before me had been there for over seven years and is moving to another part of the city. All of the other roommates are good friends with him. The guy asked me before I moved in if I wanted him to leave any of the furniture he had so we could both avoid having to move too much furniture. I came over, looked at the room, and asked him to leave the bed frame and the desk only. When I got home, I sent him an email stating that we had agreed to only leave the bed frame and the desk so we could have it in writing what the agreement was and he sent me back an e-mail agreeing.
When I moved in a few days ago, he had left the bed frame and the desk, but also a mattress, broken TV, lamp, and rug. The room was filthy—like I ran my finger along the windowsill and it came up black with dirt—and there are tons of nails in the walls, holes where nails were, and large parts where paint had been chipped away. The curtains were also filthy and had been in the same position for so long that they had become warped and I couldn’t move them along the runner or cover the entire window. These spots had all been hidden by wall coverings when I saw the room initially. I had to spend several hours cleaning up the room before I could move my stuff in.
One of my new roommates asked how the move was going and I said truthfully that I was frustrated with the state that the last guy had left the room in. She got a little uncomfortable and said that she had seen him trying to clean the room and he had gotten rid of a lot of stuff before moving (but obviously not all the stuff we had agreed on him moving before...) When I mentioned the problems with the curtains and the wall, she mentioned that I should submit a request to our landlord and he would paint the walls and add in some blinds and that he had done the same thing for her when she moved in.
So I submitted the requests and I figured that would be the end of it. After I do so, I notice the rest of my roommates immediately starting to ice me out. Finally one of them tells me that the landlord had sent an email earlier in the day asking if there were any damages that the previous tenant needs to pay and because I submitted the request, they think he’s probably going to not get part of the deposit back. I did not receive the email. The roommates think it was a dick move because he’s a nice guy and I should have waited awhile before sending in a request so he could get his deposit back first.
My attitude is that if he wanted his deposit back, he should have thought of that before he fucked up the walls. And leaving all his junk behind didn’t exactly make me all that favorable to him already. But my roommates all pretty clearly think I’m the asshole. AITA for immediately complaining to the landlord?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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reSe3glzs9IM2kUyevxIaqLwhIJRoliq
|
ap1z1v
|
{
"description": "hanging out with office colleagues instead of going out with girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hanging out with office colleagues instead of going out with girlfriend?
|
Few days ago my colleagues planned a Sunday outing and I was in. My girlfriend was out of town and returned on the same day and I wanted to meet her too.
So on Friday I told my girlfriend about this conflict in schedules and asked her to let me know if it's possible for her to meet me on same day since she'd be tired and had to unpack. If yes, I could cancel other plan. She said she'd confirm it later but never did.
Fast forward to Sunday, I am texting her as she arrived in town and I casually mention that it's time for me to get ready and go out with colleagues. She gets upset because she wanted to meet me on same day. I backfire at her (in passive aggressive way) that I had already laid out both the plans in front of her and she never told me if it was possible for her to meet me. She said she does not remember me ever mentioning about other plan, and it escalated in an argument.
Now here are few things to consider:
1. I had only told her about my other plan only once on a call
2. She is a person who legit forgets things
3. I have never experienced her lying her way out of arguments in our 4 year relationship.
So am I the asshole in this scenario?
TL;DR: I had two plans on Sunday, one with girlfriend (unconfirmed) and other with office colleagues (confirmed). Asked girlfriend if she could confirm the plan so I could cancel office plan. She legit forgot about it (because I feel I didn't emphasize on it enough) and is now upset that I went with office people. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
SF1pJBoTCPwAhAGbFIjgcjlCJk9ZIxDX
|
9zy2qx
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my so",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my SO
|
My SO (M) and I are normally very close and have been so for about a year. We have no trust issues borrowing each other’s phones and know each other’s passcodes. I didn’t intend to snoop around, but I found he had a Tinder account today on accident when I was borrowing his phone.
I shouldn’t have been on his phone, but AITA for being angry with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
60OKItZzChspPnw7BjvvDi4Zkc232vwx
|
b2e04f
|
{
"description": "spending time with my friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for spending time with my friend's ex?
|
Buckle up folks, because this is going to get confusing. Okay, there are five main players here including myself. My friend whose ex is in question (we'll call her Steph), the ex (we'll call him John), me, and two of my best friends (we'll call them Jane and Bev). Steph and John have been on-again, off-again for around two years, with them officially calling it quits around six months ago. Steph has complicated feelings towards John. He was her first true love, and even though she knows she should and desperately wants to move on. They have hooked up recently, and John views it as a mistake. Steph however is falling for John, despite her knowing she shouldn't. She is doing everything she can to move on.
This most recent week was our spring break, and both John and Steph were away on vacation. John and I have been becoming good friends recently, and not having seen each other all break, we decided to hang out. Saturday night we got Taco Bell and drove around chatting. Sunday we drove and picked his brother up, then watched a movie at his house. And that's it. No hint of anything romantic or sexual, as I see that as crossing a line due to my relationship with Steph. I was snapchatting Jane and she could tell I was with John. After I went home, Jane and Bev, who were together at the time, went off on me for hanging out with Jack. They said I was going behind Steph's back, and they saw it as a worrying possibility for me to do the same to them. I never explicitly told Steph I was spending time with John, as neither of us thought it was necessary. As soon as Jane and Bev pointed this out to me, I decided I should tell Steph that John and I were hanging out, and make sure she was okay with it. She replied that she didn't care, he was his own person, and nothing happened between us, so why would she care? I double and triple checked with her, telling her that if at any point John and I's friendship made her uncomfortable, she should tell me. The reiterated that she didn't care, and that it made no change in our friendship. I then told Jane and Bev about this, to which they said that they didn't care, I was still being a bad friend. Steph and I chatted tonight, and she has gone out of her way to let me know she is okay with it. We are pretty close, and I believe she would tell me the truth. Since Jane and Bev have found out about it, they are ignoring any and all of my explanations and apologies. I have left them alone, seeing it best to let them calm down. John feels awful about causing these issues with my friends, and he and I have agreed to not hang out until this blows over.
So AITA? Jane and Bev seem to think so, without any regard for how Steph feels. I don't want to loose two close friends over this, but if Steph is okay with it, I see no reason for John and I to not be friends.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
{
"description": "not wanting to be in my half siblings life after our father left them",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be in my half siblings life after our father left them?
|
My father had an affair with my mother and I'm his first born. He stayed with his wife and had two children, a boy Les and a girl Em. He had very little contact with me and I've never spent one-on-one time with him, only with him and his family a hand full of times. I was raised by my uncle and grandmother and had didn't develop a relationship with my mother until I was eighteen. I remember my childhood being lonely and considered myself an only child and still do.
About five years ago when I was twenty, my father left his hospitalized wife and family. Em is twenty four and Les twenty now, they've contacted me multiple time over the past five years and the first time I responded by saying that I hope they're alright but I don't want to be involved in their lives. After that I've gotten lengthy aggressive messages from Em which I haven't responded too, they mostly say I hurt Les that he idolized me and anonymously follows my accounts, at some point he read a comment mentioning that I'm an only child and had a violent tantrum. That worries me because our father had anger issues and severe depression that I'm also dealing with.
I'm not interested in relationship with them but feel like an asshole for not wanting to be in their lives during major life changes. AITA?
TL;DR: I'm my fathers first born from an affair, now he's left his family and his other two children want me in their life, I don't want to be and feel like an asshole, am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
gkaR1TPYwunrGjCQpugrDv4q598Eq7fJ
|
albepe
|
{
"description": "putting £5000 into my girlfriends bank account",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 36
}
|
AITA for putting £5000 into my girlfriends bank account?
|
We've been together for 8 months.
I'm very lucky and was born into quite a wealthy family and now work part time for the family business - earning around 65k per annum. I'm 20.
My girlfriend is 21 and came from quite a poor family. She works like 70 hours a week in order to pay for her flat and education. She only earns about 16k-20k per annum as it's a minimum wage job.
Everything she owns, she works very hard for. But, we argue about money sometimes. For example, she will never let me pay for dates or holidays - always insists to go half or refuses to accompany me on holidays if she can't afford it, despite me offering to pay her way.
She sometimes tells me that she worried were too different in how we were raised because she is very minimalist whereas I have a lot of "stuff".
I admire her determination to get somewhere by her own terms and not relying on others but j wish sometimes she would accept my help.
She passed her test last week and is looking to buy a car for under £500. But, I want to treat her and Sonia took her to a car dealership and showed her a 2018 car that i wanted to purchase for her, she said that she appreciates the offer but really doesn't want me to buy her a car. She says if she gets a car, she wants the satisfaction of knowing that she paid for it herself.
Anyway, last night she fell asleep early and I found her bank card, transferred £5000 into her account with the reference "you deserve it".
She found out this morning and got really mad. She said she was sick of me trying to push money on her, she says that she wants to earn her own money. She also said that I think everything comes easy in life but for people like her, it doesn't. She told me I needed to stop and demanded to send the money back to me but I wouldn't give her my details.
AITA for trying to help?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
bK4ZiDbI8Nbe24YNideQ3tZVx10gvdYj
|
an2b30
|
{
"description": "cancelling my plans with friends this weekend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cancelling my plans with friends this weekend?
|
Hello all,
I am having an issue with one of my friends
(Lets call him Dave) and thought I'd see if I am handling this properly.
To start I am quite upset and have decided that I will not be attending an event this weekend that we have planned awhile ago.
What happened:
Two weeks ago Dave invited two of his friends to his house party. I have met the one a few times but not the other. Everything was going well and the party was a fun time until these two new people decided I wasnt drunk enough for them and started pressuring me to drink shots with them. By this time I was at a perfect drunk for myself and didn't want to push my limits so I declined. They became annoyingly insistent getting everyone in the party to call me a pussy and other names and make the whole focus of the party on me drinking this nasty ass rum. Eventually I caved and drank a shot but that wasnt good enough either and these two people kept harrassing me to drink. A few more shots deep and I was at the point of no return and blacked out. I threw up and passed out and felt that hangover for two days.
I know my drinking limits and I am very good at finding the right buzz for the occasion. I dont need to be told to drink and I was very pissed off both at myself for letting them pressure me and these people for forcing me to.
Cut to this weekend where I was invited to another predrink and bar night. I talked to Dave and discussed the plan and whatever. We had a two hour conversation catching up and I told him how I felt about his friends he invited and I asked who was all going this time and they werent mentioned. Cool.
I show up and we are all having a good time but then Dave shows up with these two friends of his. Immediately they are on my case to drink. I flat out told them no and they wouldnt let it go. 5 minutes into them joining our party I am yelling at them to leave me alone. Dave knows how I felt about last time and he is just watching this go on and also at points is encouraging them.
This goes on the whole night. I told myself I wouldn't let them persuade me this time and they didn't but because of that night the whole night I was harrassed because I wouldn't drink with them. They tried every berating insult they could muster to the point people came up to me including Dave's girlfriend apologizing for their behavior.
I ignored it the best I could and focused on making it a good night for myself. Well the next morning they're in one of our fb group chats mocking me even more and I am just done with these guys.
I talked to our other friends and they agreed they didnt enjoy these guys' company and I called Dave and told them I didnt ever want to be involved in plans with them again. If he wants to hangout with them power to him but they're assholes who can't take no for an answer and I asked him to stop bringing them around me. He agreed and I thought the issue was over.
Cut to 10 minutes later he adds them to our call and asks me to explain why I dont want to hangout with them anymore.
I couldn't believe it. I felt so betrayed in that moment that Dave would sell me out like that and force a confrontation with these guys I dont even know or want to further socialize with. I hung up on him and then called him back and tried to explain how mad he would be if I betrayed him like that. He didn't understand how I was mad and didnt think it was a big deal.
I haven't talked to him since and we have an event planned this weekend that I have told everyone I wont be going to.
Am I overreacting? Or am I justified in not wanting to see Dave for awhile.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
kxpJUZPACVQHJKlNqHDg9Cs71BimbTXs
|
b2tygs
|
{
"description": "freezing my guests",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for freezing my guests?
|
To put it simply, I get hot VERY easily. I get so hot that I start to feel ill, sweat profusely, and have trouble thinking clearly. I am not sure why, but I have always been like this. My girlfriend I keep our house around 65 degrees because that is honestly the max temperature I can tolerate. I'm really not exaggerating when it comes to how badly heat affects me. I wish I wasn't like this.
Anyway, all guests we have know this. They know how I am, and they know the house will be cold. I provide them with copious amounts of blankets (4-5) and even an admittedly tiny heater. They say they are freezing, go into my room, and raise the temperature to levels (67-70 degrees) that make me utterly miserable in my own house. I sometimes let them for a while, but it is really hard on me physically. My thoughts are that they can always bundle up; I am more than happy to provide them sweaters, jackets, scarves, even ridiculously furry onesies. They never take me up on it. As stated, I also provide them blankets and a tiny heater. I cannot really undress any more than a thin t-shirt and thin pajama pants/shorts, so there's not much I can do for myself.
So, AITA for keeping the house cold and changing the temperature after they've changed it themselves? Additionally, I'd really appreciate any additional suggestions for how to come to a compromise!
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1Icou0cJqNulc7DuSUsi1lfQERAEdFxg
|
b61kwi
|
{
"description": "telling my wife she was \"cuntfused\"",
"pronormative_score": 51,
"contranormative_score": 77
}
|
AITA for telling my wife she was “cuntfused”
|
Hear me out on this one obviously the title sounds bad.
I was on vacation with my wife and a pair of friends in Switzerland. We were on a train together and the topic of mansplaining came up. My wife and our female friend thought mansplaining was a fair term and that me and my male friend were chronic “mansplainers”.
I explained that I thought mansplaining was a sexist term. Why shouldn’t men be allowed to have opinions? Writing off a mans opinion due to mansplaining seemed sexist.
I was clearly not making any progress with this argument so I asked if she would be offended if when she was confused by something I called it cuntfusion. She then said I was mansplaining the whole fight and I told her she was just cuntfused.
After this she was livid and looked into flying home from vacation early.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
WIDOejMViLbnYCniPJLjf7cAsRmloEuJ
|
anz5sv
|
{
"description": "being annoyed someone spoiled something",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed someone spoiled something? (WARNING, Dororo manga spoilers ahead!)
|
Before you read, if you are currently watching the Dororo anime and don't want it spoiled like I was do not proceed!
​
So basically I made a meme on the r/Dororo subreddit that gained a bit of attention, in the comments someone decided to post a spoiler but apparently they only suggested it could happen. The conversation goes like this:
P1: Regained depression after realizing what Mio did for a living :,(
Me: Yeah IKR, it started so cute with the bow scene and just descended!
SP: And throw salt on it when she gets killed
Me: I tagged this as a spoiler for episode five, not the manga. I hope you realise how mad I am that you decided to take a spoiler from the manga to an anime post. Please be more considerate in the future.
SP: I did not spoil anything. What I said was up for speculation as I did not confirm anything. You, on the other hand, just confirmed it yourself. Therefore, YOU are the one who just spoiled it.
​
If you want to see this yourself please navigate through my profile as I don't like promoting my posts on other subreddits. Who really is the spoiler here though? I have never read the manga and didn't know she died until I read his comment, but was I supposed to infer he wasn't confirming it?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
bDqNXEDsRqVggFQuXJCAiwrGeNyoj6q0
|
b5u94x
|
{
"description": "refusing to oay my ex child support",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 362
}
|
AITA for refusing to oay my ex child support?
|
Hey guys. Please hear me out before making a judgement - I know it sounds awful.
I was with my ex girlfriend (I'm a girl too) for 8 years. In the last year, we had a baby. It was a mutual thing but she carried the baby, etc.
I was never too sure about having kids until recently and I decided I'd love to have a family with her.
She was always afraid of having a child because her mother and aunty and grandma all suffered from a severe post-natal depression. But, she powered through.
She gave birth to a baby boy who was biologically hers and a sperm donor. She funded the whole thing with her savings and I was there throughout the birth.
About 6 months after our child was born, we broke up. It was mainly because I did not want to be tied down so young, all kinda stuff like that. It was mainly my choice but she understood and accepted it gracefully.
We stayed pretty friendly.
I realised a few months later what a mistake I'd made and I tried to reach out. I practically begged her to take me back. She refused.
I begged her to let us be a family (I'm the legal parent too as I adopted our baby after birth) and she said no, that at the time she was heartbroken but that I was right and she'd met another girl who she was dating.
We fell out. I was heartbroken and I was angry.
We stopped talking but she'd occasionally reach out asking me to see her daughter.
We met for coffee and I told her if she wants to be single and explore herself then I need that chance too.
I told her I didn't want to see her but would have my kid on Friday nights. She said that was fine.
She then broached the subject of child support and said she had funded everything and hadn't received a penny off me. She said that she wanted reliable child support and help from me. I told her that's fine. I sent her her first load of money and the next day I had our son and I saw that she'd gone out drinking and to the cinema with her new girlfriend.
We got into a big argument and I told her that I'm not sending her any more money as she was just spending it on herself. She said that in 2 years I'd only paid £150, she's paid everything else so if she wants to go out, she can. She then threw in my face that I'd been on holidays and stuff.
I said when I have my son on the Friday, I'll buy him whatever he needs, feed him, etc but that she had to cover the rest. She said I'm an asshole, so AITA?
*Tl;Dr* my ex had my child. She wanted money from me, then went out drinking. I refuse to give her more money directly.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
RMoF99ppuIPpNDHnuIVSgVCTXK8Iaqhr
|
9x6mlq
| null |
AITA? Neighbor and Fallen Trees
|
I live in a state where if a tree falls on your property it's your problem. It doesn't matter if the tree belongs to a neighbor.
Last year my neighbor's GIANT (70+ feet) tree fell. It smashed my fence, messed up my new (6 month old) siding, and punched a few holes in my new 1 year old roof (new plywood, etc.. completely new). The neighbor paid to clean up the tree - and took down a few other similar ones that could be a risk. I expect it was quite expensive, as the trees were all massive. We covered fence, siding, and roof repairs.
Both of our back yards have a maintained section that's fenced in, and then a stream, and then a giant part (an acre or more) that's left unkempt and wooded. My yard has a bridge to get over there, but we never go. My neighbor doesn't have a bridge, and is an older gentleman and has no way to get across the stream in his yard.
In August, a big tree on my property fell into his yard, in the rough, wild section past the stream. I had no plans to move it, as it's wild back there and it's not doing anything that bothers me. My neighbor called and asked that I get someone to at least remove the part on his yard - probably 10-15' or so of it. And I didn't... mostly because it's hard to get any machinery over there, and also because I'm lazy and wasn't motivated to pursue it. At most I would get someone to clear it off his yard, and leave the rest on mine.
He had his 'tree guy' stop by a few times but he wasn't even sure he could get equipment close enough to do it, and didn't seem interested in the job. The tree guy told my wife that he thought the ground back there was 'too swampy' to move in his big equipment. A few times since August the neighbor has checked in to see if I was doing anything about it. I wasn't. Again - this is a wooded area, in part of his yard he can't even get to without a bridge.
Today he had a different tree service come to remove the part that is on his land. Again, in our state this is HIS RESPONSIBILITY. I texted him today when he told me they were there and said 'Let me know what it costs, I'll cover it'
And he said no. Oh, and he asked his tree guy to quote me to remove the rest and the tree guy said "It's too big, I have no way to get it out of there...."
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
TcsIL6DdFuixK0tQ6jxQVd0FJVzOWAdW
|
9xu2r2
|
{
"description": "injuring someone and feeling angry at her",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for injuring someone and feeling angry at her?
|
for a little bit of background, we were practicing in our concert band. I was running across the room when i really shouldn't have been, and i wasn't looking where I was going. She was sitting, and i stepped directly on her ankle, twisting it as i fell over. I was fine, but she was clearly in a lot of pain, and she stated while she was crying that she had just previously injured that ankle and it had been healing. One of ger friends asked if she wanted ice, she declined. I didn't know what else to do except apoligize, and i was actually very upset about what i had done.
when i tried saying sorry, she very angrilly yelled at me to just go back to my seat, where i was supposed to be. she was basically crying at this point. i wanted to help, but i did as she was told.
i still feel awful about what happened, but i do also feel angry at her for treating me like that, even if her reaction was frankly justified. Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
awtaaD3qZ8rrvEARKe1oH4XCAcSd8bSZ
|
b1u878
|
{
"description": "being mad at my psychology class for changing an exam date",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being mad at my psychology class for changing an exam date?
|
We would have had one of our exams for psychology tomorrow; however, the date was pushed one week back, which was discussed on a group chat I have with the members of my psych class (we're only 11, so it's not that many). When I read through it, their reasons for changing the psych exam were: 1) We haven't had time to study for this exam since several extracurricular trips took place the week before; 2) We have another exam on the same day; 3) We will waste our time on an exam we can't complete because we haven't studied. And they all admitted that none of them had properly studied for it.
​
I got mad at them and explained that time management is something everyone needs to develop, extracurricular activities are voluntary and if you can't handle them with academics then don't do them, everyone has several exams on the same day (it's just how the schedule is for tomorrow), and our exam date was given to us 3 months ago (so they did have time regardless of the activities the week before, in my opinion). Basically, I was the only one who had studied for the exam and all of my other ones, and so I wanted to do the exam so that my studying wouldn't be wasted and to get it over with in general.
​
They called me an asshole and childish for "not considering and understanding their perspective."
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
6EqY8Hud0jjTsPRLFstwRD2E1sT5GeF8
|
an8l7n
|
{
"description": "confronting my girlfriends roommate about her animal neglect",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for confronting my girlfriends roommate about her animal neglect?
|
Original r/Advice post [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/amxzba/how_can_i_address_potential_animal_neglect_with_a/)
​
I'll provide a quick synopsis for those not willing to read the whole thing.
We'll call her Karen got a dog this past May. She was great at feeding him, taking him out for walks, playing with him, etc. However, my gf and her roommates live in a relatively small apartment that does not have access to a yard . The apartment is close to a coastal beach that allow dogs even off leash (winter time) and there is a public dog park a few minutes more in the opposite direction. Karen met a guy and has started to ask him to take the dog out for her, feed him, etc. The dog is almost a year and a half now and is not properly trained (jumps on people, steals things, tears things apart, whines constantly, sometimes nips/bites us especially when being playful). Whenever people come over the dog acts like a feral hyena while Karen just sits there asking it nicely to calm down...Saying thinks like "Baxter, please don't jump, we don't do that here". We (including most of Karens friends) all know how extremely poorly trained he is, so when she offers to bring him usually people tell her no. This means he either is crated or my gf or the other roommate has to watch him.
Karen recently got a job which she leaves the house for on average 50-70 hours a week. She often leaves the dog for my girlfriend and their other roommate to take care of (feed, play with, take out to potty, etc.)
Often times though, Karen and her bf will leave for work at 7-8 am, work all day, come home to change for the gym and then leave right again for a few hours while they work out. On top of that, Karen will sometimes go out for drinks with her friends and won't return until past midnight. Having never given the dog exercise, taking it out to potty, or playing with it.
Both my gf and the other roommate talk about how horrible the dog is to me (behind Karen's back) and how bad he had been. Yet they are both too shy to bring it up with Karen because they don't want to cause tension with her. I've said a few things to Karen about it because I feel horrible for the dog but my gf always tells me a few days later that she overhears Karen complaining about my comments to Karen's best friends who have also tried to tell her her dog is untrained and not properly cared for.
​
WIBTA for confronting her about it (or even reporting it) because I don't feel as though the dog is being properly cared for by the owner?
(both roommates claim its not fair for them to have to watch the dog but are too scared to cause drama in the house)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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RIGHT
|
GnnKvsxFaTsAEnG6HWAekzD4sGolimfk
|
anyom1
| null |
AITA: Newlywed husband (32M) wanted to wait til marriage for sex and just surprised me (27F) with micropenis on the honeymoon.
|
So, we only dated for six months. We've been engaged for another six and just got married on Saturday. I literally just got back from my honeymoon a couple hours ago. My husband isn't a religious guy, he just says he is "old fashioned like that." We got close to fooling around a couple times but it never went far. I tried, but he always stopped after it went "too far". Anyway, fast forward to now...
Am I the asshole for reading into this and being upset that I waited until my wedding night to find out that he probably isn't as "old fashioned" as he says he is? I'm not going to shame him and honestly I don't even know how I'll broach the topic (and I'm not seeking advice). I honestly just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary and went to town with him, but...I dunno. I kind of feel lied to. Like a halftruth...or something was intentionally withheld from me. This was unexpected, to say the least. And if you read this far, thanks for your time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
5rIUeKQOkGlWTimPs0o9JRb4YwK6GGrF
|
b4e4ft
| null |
AITA: Walked out on dinner plans with friends
|
We planned to go out with dinner with another couple. When my wife and I arrived at the extremely crowded restaurant with about an hour wait, our friends texted us. They said that they would be there in about an hour and to look for their cousin (whom we didn't know) and get seats for six. They've pulled this stunt before and know that we do not like to dine with a lot of people or especially people we don't know. We thought we were only meeting them for dinner. I consider this an ambush. We immediately left the restaurant and texted them that we needed to cancel due to a migraine.
tldr: our friends invited another couple who we did not know to dinner without our knowledge and expected us to save a seat and entertain the other couple because they were late. We left.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
K78dVZqGUm29giTaT9xd0Zeb9O3RtFyW
|
asv5x4
|
{
"description": "referring to myself as fat when around other, fatter people",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for referring to myself as fat when around other, fatter people?
|
I work in a casual environment where people spend a lot of time blowing off steam, chatting, taking a few minutes to watch a YouTube video, etc. Swearing a little here and there is perfectly accepted, so long as you're not going off and screaming obscenities at clients and the like.
Because I work in a place in the Midwest, I'm surrounded by plenty of overweight people. It's not uncommon for other people to make self deprecating jokes about the donuts someone brought in, will power, etc etc. Just useless office chatter kind of made to make fun of ourselves.
Well, I'm also fat. At 5 feet tall and 135, I'm pretty fat for my size (measurements last I took were 39-29.5-40, so I'm definitely not Tess Holliday but I'm also not a healthy or attractive/beautiful size). I'm also working on it and have been, so lets skip the recommendations for keto and IF.
The other day, I made a joke about how I hadn't gotten up from my chair for two hours. I said, "Damn, my fat ass needs to get up and move around." I've made this comment before, and so have others in the office. One of the bigger girls huffed a little. I ignored it and went about my little walk around the office to shake it off.
The next day, the bigger girl came over with a friend and said they wanted to talk about my comment and how they didn't appreciate my jabs at being fat, etc, because I'm not fat and I'm obviously looking for attention or approval from the thinner girls in the office. That's not true. Number one, there is no way someone could look at me and not see that I am fat. Do I fit into a size 8 pant? Yes. Does that mean anything with vanity sizing, etc? No. It doesn't.
I told them that I would take what they said into consideration, but later that day made another self deprecating joke about being a fatty. This really upset them, and the big one pulled me aside again and told me, point blank, to stop. I told her that no, if I wanted to make a joke at my own expense, I'm going to. And that it's not about her, and I would never make a joke at her expense. And that's the truth -- I make fun of myself because that's how I cope with what horrors I've done to this body of mine by ballooning up to such an unattractive size.
She stormed off. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
JG4usF8lb3PKOadLCFgvpwJJbNLPoeze
|
b9kg5h
|
{
"description": "being salty about my aunt not pitching in for my graduation",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being salty about my aunt not pitching in for my graduation?
|
I know how entitled that sounds, but hear me out.
I don't live in the US, but all my paternal family does and throughout my childhood they've made me understand they have a better income than my family does, and they resent my father for not moving away with them (he'd the 'doctor of the fsmily'), so they don't speak much; but they've always tried to lure me to visit or stay for long periods of time with presents, trips and whatnot
I'm 22 now and haven't gone visit them or the other way around in almost ten years, it stopped when it became clear to them I had no interest in moving away from home.
Anyways I'm putting up this background info to be clear about the fact I haven't asked anything from them, ever, and I don't resent them from completely cutting ties with me or my family. That said, my family does have a few financial struggles and I'm currently working my ass off to finish my degree in medicine and become an MD
So one day, out of nowhere, one of my aunts added me on Facebook and asked if I had a venmo account to pitch in for my graduation. I don't, we don't have that in Mexico; so she asked me if I could find a safe way for her to send me money.
I was excited, honestly any help means the world at this point, I'm graduating in three months and everything is crazy expensive. I went out my way to gather the info she wanted, and sent it to her after a couple days, I talked about how much it meant for me and how it would be greatly appreciated
And that was... Over two months ago.
I don't want to bring it up to her again, we've had a couple short talks since she added me, about school, my father and random topics; I don't want to bring it up because I don't want her to go and tell the rest of my family that my dad is screwing up so bad I have to beg them for money, that being said I'm pretty salty about the whole thing, why even bring it up in the first place only not to follow through? I've even left her on read a couple times now
So AITA for being salty about this whole ordeal and considering to just ignore her from now on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SG77dOI62o1zmgv3iMU9VmCDLAVmxGQx
|
avj3hw
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my best friends destination wedding",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my best friends destination wedding?
|
Throwaway account, blah blah
My best friend is getting married, and he let us all know that his wedding is less than a year away - 11 months, but it's in Italy. I'm not super tight with his wife, she's fine, she just has never really cared to get to know any of his friends in a real or meaningful way. I've tried hanging with her, but we're just not compatible people, so no hate there.
So they finally let us know the date of their wedding, and I can go, but it's not a place I want to visit that much, and it is a lot of money/time off work. I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal, since it's a destination wedding, and I thought the golden rule was kind of, if you choose a destination wedding, you just know some people may not come. But he has since mentioned to me that he is annoyed that some of our other friends are not coming now.
I haven't made up my mind yet or anything, but I can now tell that he's going to be mad at me for not going. I want to celebrate his wedding with him, but it really does feel like a really big ask, and now that I know he's kinda keeping tabs on people who aren't going, and being quietly angry about it, I feel kind of weird making a decision on it.
Note: He is having a local celebration as well, which I would 100% go to, but is that enough?
We are best friends, but in the last few years are not AS close as we used to be. They aren't having any wedding party, but if they did, I probably would have been asked (in which case, I would have said yes and gone, I'm just giving context for how close we are.)
Also Italy is where they got engaged and they like it a lot - they aren't from there or have any ties there.
AITA for not wanting to go even though I have the means to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iKYqdrTmTsDvu75l6ziVyNuPsOJhfT1s
|
axjdy5
|
{
"description": "raising my voice at one of my roommates",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for raising my voice at one of my roommates?
|
Obligatory on mobile and English is not my first language.
For context: We were talking about problems in the appartement.
Things were getting a bit heated and I tried to say something and say my personal opinion on the matter. My roommate interrupted me multiple times so I said in a sharp voice:
"Will you let me continue to speak?"
She let me continue, so I thought she had understood and everything was fine.
This was yesterday. Today she comes to me and says:
"It doesn't matter that you were angry, You don't talk to me like that!!"
in a kind of condescending sharp voice.
I said I wouldn't but that I didn't like to be interrupted, when I was trying to say something. I didn't say I was sorry.
I think she should say sorry for interrupting me or at least acknowledge that she did it and it is not ok. Then I would be more than happy to say sorry myself. (I think I might even do it without her saying it because I don't want tension in the apartment)
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
dAMz28J3nbahiGvOVLH1mIPUFMHq04kB
|
af4orp
|
{
"description": "not doing the dishes when I am the only one here",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA, for not doing the dishes when I am the only one here?
|
AITA, I live in our University's nicer housing option which comes with a full kitchen. We have dishes we all share together, and we are pretty chill about dishes being dirty or let out. If this happens three of us will talk and decide who should do them, but our fourth roommate is different.
At college I feel like we ate considered adults and therefore should be treated like adults by the people we live with. But this roommate (well call him Paul) does not do this at all. We are on our holiday break, and since we go to a bigger commuter school all my roommates went home. I have been the only one here until the other night when Paul came back. All my roommates knew that I would be here all by myself, even Paul.
Paul returns pretty late around 11 or so alot the time I was going to bed, because I work in the morning. I knew that the dishes needed done, but put it off because I am the only one here and it wasn't really affecting me. The next day I went to work, and then went out to a movie with the girlfriend, which was planned and tickets reserved a week in advance. I got home late, and as we were going to my room I told her I was going to do the dishes so they were clean for Paul. When I get back I go over to our washer and see a sticky note the says, "DO THE DISHES."
Now I don't have the best temper but I did them even though that demand made me very angry. He could have asked, and I would have done them, he could have texted me, and told me he was coming back since he knew I was here, and I would have done them before he got there. I ended up writing "fuck you stop acting like an alpha, and demanding what you want done!" (He calls himself an alpha thats why I wrote that) He hasn't said anything to me since, and I was wondering if Im the asshole.
Tldr: Was only one in room over break, roommate came back unexpectedly and demanded that I do the dishes by sticky note, so I did them and replied to his sticky note with "fuck you stop acting like an alpha, and demanding what you want done!" Now he won't speak to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
7n8ie00w2RxlEkJPWGTJJ1XwoncyaXA1
|
atxbc7
|
{
"description": "calling my coworker immature",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling my coworker immature
|
Me and my coworker are friends outside of work and we sometimes hangout when we both have days off at the same time. She recently said shes looking for a new job but that when she does find a new job she's not actually going to quit. She's just going to be a no call no show and never come back with no prior warning. I said that you should at least give a weeks notice or something so the schedule can be fixed. We get into a back in forth about it and eventually I just say that's she'd just be immature (she's 28) for doing that since she's been working there for that long (over a year). She then said that only gay guys go back forth like this with a girl (I'm straight so I guess this was supposed to be a witty response lol?) and she blocked me.
AITA for calling her out on just being a no call no show and/or calling her immature?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tZreFlqxMUoFaTXaTS5MBGomBmyePATV
|
aha7a0
|
{
"description": "disliking unjustly successful people",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for disliking unjustly successful people?
|
I mean there is an argument to be made if anyone can be unjustly successful so no debates on success needing to be justified and even if they can be just or unjust the determination of that would be opinion so with those aside.
I flat out feel predisposed to really dislike someone for being unjustly successful. I can't say there are really any people I know irl that I feel that way about and sometimes I see someone from social media I know doing really well for themselves and I genuinely feel happy for them.
I'm talking about people I don't know that are enormously successful in their field that I feel is way out of proportion to what they actually do for that field. It's not like I hate them but I just feel like one of those people who dislikes popular things because they're popular.
As an example my SO really enjoys watching pewdiepie markiplier mrbeast and the like. Whenever she puts it on the tv to watch I just don't want to put up with it. Whatever they do I just get upset and critique it. This makes my SO upset but I just have to not be in the room so I don't comment. I just feel like of all the great content you can watch online we're watching some millionaires play whatever flavor of the month game is hot while they have over the top reactions to the "scary game".
I get that im probably the asshole but I can't help it. I'd probably feel that way with pop singers or something if I had more knowledge of the industry but when I see someone in such a high position of an industry and it seems like they tripped right over life and stumbled into success I just don't want to like them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
a8PrAtRLLp9pVlyRmBWHw8wNzi306UWo
|
b49jjg
|
{
"description": "getting mad at a friend, due to me buying or not buying things for myself",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting mad at a friend, due to me buying or not buying things for myself?
|
So, TL;DR; in the end.
I plan on moving out this year and save money for that. Though, I still spend a bit on hobbies, etc. cause it's still some time till I move out.
Recently, I talked to a friend of mine about all kind of that (new kitchen, couch, etc.) and kinda went offtopic to a hobby of mine: Bowling. So you see. Modern bowling balls have some tech into it that makes every ball behave different (Stronger curve, earlier curve, etc.), so I was looking to buy one to complete my arsenal. To be prepared for tournaments etc.
Now of course I know that a bowling ball is a lot of money, but also it's a fun thing to have and I would really use it. Yet, my friend was all like "Think about the new appartment. Don't buy it." so I thought "Well, okay. Rather wait then . Have enough anyways."
Today I got a message from said friend "OMG did you try Sekiro yet? IT'S SO AWESOME YOU WOULD LOVE IT." to wich I replied, nope and I don't know if I should buy it. Then she started to send me more messages about it, etc. practically begging me to buy that game for myself.
Ignored that messages and went into discord, where I was greeted with "Oh boy you gotta try that game!". NGL I love the Souls-Games and I know I would love it to, I just hate being pushed to a decision.
So I looked up at green man gaming (online store) to get some good deal on it. While I purchased it, I still had "Come on, you gotta buy it, I could rent it to you through Steam Sharing, etc." and at that very moment, I simply lashed out a "Just fckin calm your tits for a moment, I'm already buying it, despite you telling me to not buy anything - like that bowling ball - some days ago. So give me break!"
Wich she went silent. I excused myself and she said "It's okay.". Though, I still feel kinda bad about it. On one way, she just meant good with the game, on the other hand it's really shitty to say buying X is not okay, but buying Y is totally fine.
​
So, Reddit. Am I the Donkey-Hole?
​
TL;DR; Friend told me to save money instead of buying equipment for bowling. Then same friend begged me into buying Sekiro, cause it'd be awesome. Lashed out at friend, when she didn't shut up about it, despite that she told me to save money few days earlier.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
Gt1nys13VwnXtl3D3HFG8zcUar5neQfI
|
b90ild
|
{
"description": "writing hurtful things about my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for writing hurtful things about my best friend?
|
Title is a bit misleading, but accurate nontheless.
​
Recently me and my best friend, who we'll refer to as J, have been going through some problems. Girls, grades, a bunch of bullshit that would have probably blown over within the next month or so. We are both at college, and we room together on campus.
​
As a way to vent my anger healthily without saying anything unintentionally hurtful to him during an argument, I opened up a google doc and wrote down whatever came to mind. A lot of it was hurtful towards him, and even though it was true, I'm probably biased in saying that. I just wrote a lot about how he had hurt me, how his decisions were making my life (at the moment) miserable, and even included one particularly aggressive paragraph at the end where I told him to *"go f\*\*\* himself,"* and that I didn't ever want to speak to him again. Mind you, my computer is password protected, and I didn't mean most of the things I wrote in that document. It just felt good to scream out my problems, even if it was into an empty void where no one could hear me. It was supposed to be private; I never intended on anyone reading it, and would have probably deleted it once the issues with J were resolved. (I use this google doc method often, its one of the ways I cope with problems.)
​
I wrote in the doc last Thursday. Today, sends me a cryptic text while I'm in class and asks me to come back to the room to discuss something he referred to as *"urgent importance."* I came back, whereupon he proceeded to yell and scream at me for twenty five minutes for not properly venting my anger to him, and for writing all of those horrible things about him in a google doc.
​
Turns out that yesterday, on Tuesday, while I had gone to take a test and left my computer unlocked, J opened up my computer, opened my google drive, and found the document. Most of the things I'd written in that document pertained to *very* personal things J had confided in me about, things only I knew. I'd never intended the doc to be seen by anyone, least of all J himself, and tried explaining that to him, to no avail. He asked me what I had planned to do with the document, I said it was only to get my feelings out and that it was never intended to be seen by anyone besides me. J told me that I had *"violated his trust,"* by writing all of that highly personal and confidential information down, even if it was only meant to be seen by me. He stayed the night with his FWB last night, and intends to do the same tonight. He hasn't made a comment on the future of our friendship, and I have not talked to him since the verbal altercation. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
smy9dhiwTwXE7HZzdGKzaywBEsgGyWz3
|
b1zxe4
|
{
"description": "not wanting to date a girl who isn't exactly my type who I dated before and had a falling out with",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to date a girl who isn’t exactly my type who I dated before and had a falling out with
|
Lowkey scared of posting in here cuz posts like these usually tend to lean to YTA (if you guys decide it, totally understand; Kinda feel like an asshole for it but I’m not 100% of that mindset). I hope the title isn’t misleading since I’d rather get more into it in the post itself. Also TLDR-ish summary at the bottom
Anyways, back in 10th grade, I dated this girl I became friends with in my freshmen year when she was in 8th grade (we met through band since our school’s band programs were performed tg). We didn’t rly start off liking each other, but we eventually became friends. After a bit, we flirted and then started dating. Things escalated quicker than I expected and she was more into me than i was into her. She isn’t exactly the prettiest or the most in shape girl (I’m not fatshaming bc i was also kinda fat; not to say i only date skinny girls cuz i like who i like, but as I’ve seen someone comment under a post that’s similar, we are attracted to ppl that are in shape) but she is a wonderful person and that’s what i cared about. But then i did an asshole and started talking to another girl (big oof Ik, but don’t write me out just yet)
We had a falling-out, feelings were hurt, and we blocked each other for a while. I’ve come to terms with what I did and once I matured (cuz I was young and new to relationships) I talked to her, apologized for what i did and we tried to be friends again. She said it helped her realize that ppl aren’t who they seem to be (i was a nice guy [in before r/niceguy comments] except for the asshole thing i did) and to not be as invested into ppl bc she got rly invested when we dated.
Once we made up, we become friends and talked every now and then. We’ve hung out, but sometimes it led to flirting/kissing and although I enjoyed it, I couldn’t go through that again with her so I always stopped it before it got any further, leading to arguments (kinda like a FWB type thing but more her than me cuz I was rebound most of the time and I just wanted attention from a girl; this isn’t meant to paint her out badly bc it takes two to tango so i shouldn’t have entertained it, but yk i got needs too) Since then, I’ve just refrained from doing that type of stuff with her and so far so good. Sometimes she’ll text me and say “we should cuddle, we should hang out, we should make plans for tonight” etc and although my life is boring, I don’t wanna end up hurting her (not to say I’d cheat again bc I’ve learned my lesson and I’ve been cheated on; pretty shit feeling so I’d rather not do that again) so I always give dry responses or send lol/lmao and she gets upset but only for a little
Long story short, am I the asshole for not wanting to date/ do FWB with someone I’ve dated who isn’t my type and who i also cheated on (and reconciled with in case someone scrolls to the bottom without reading)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
BSDM4Z5Hz3KeLhQrGccyQGYPx5EWcNuF
|
b3pqrd
|
{
"description": "blowing off my workmates \"religious\" request",
"pronormative_score": 239,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for blowing off my workmates “religious” request.
|
I work in a very intense environment, with 12 staff. I’m the direct supervisor of 4 of those staff.
All staff, bar one, are white-anglo. The other staff member is Syrian and Muslim. Let’s call her Zara. I am her direct supervisor. Generally I think we’re pretty mindful. We always order halal food, and organise to go places that suit her.
However she’s pretty open on some aspects of her life being pretty fucked up. Her 21 year old daughter isn’t allowed to drive, or go out without an escort. She was forced into an arranged marriage at 14 with a 35 year old man. They’re still together and have been in Australia for 25 years, but her husband doesn’t speak any English and I think is pretty emotionally abusive tbh.
Anyway, once every 3ish months we all organise to go out on a “staff night out” somewhere fun for everyone. Lawn bowls, or teppanyaki or something. It’s by no means compulsory - one lady only comes at Christmas no worries - but everyone enjoys it and it’s just a fun way to unwind. Usually, people bring their partners, which is great as we’re all very close.
Zara never brings her partner, and none of us ever ask. No one has met him and everyone knows the history of their relationship. I’ve only become Zara’s supervisor this year and last week she came to me to ask whether I could bar partners from attending our staff night out. I told her I’d think about it, but the next day told her I wouldn’t as it had nothing to do with work. She then said it made her feel bad her husband couldn’t come and the reason her husband and her’s relationship is the way it is, is a religious thing. She said by not barring other’s partner I was not respecting her religion.
I basically told her sorry, bad luck, and escalated it, but have been stewing on this all week.
So, Reddit, AITA for somehow being islamophobic here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 232,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 6
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 239,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
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