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z4bMlwb5NVMq99bnXFhAk9YJG9uvLMAl
|
b4seuh
|
{
"description": "not tipping the waiter",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For not tipping the waiter?
|
Me and my family were out for dinner at a pretty pricey Latin American steak place. We go there somewhat regularly and usually have great service.
The same is true until about halfway through the meal. Our waiter's (who has served us in the past and done a good job) family came for dinner at the restaurant and were seated at the table behind ours.
Now understandably our waiter was helping them out, but he began to completely ignore his other tables, he was chatting with family while on the job, as if he were a customer. While we were repeatedly asking him for more bread or a glass of water, after not completing any of that, we had to flag another waiter down to wrap our leftovers and we spent another few minutes trying to flag our waiter down for the check. At this point my father got pissed and started agresivly calling the waiter over. Our waiter came over somewhat annoyed, and began Making excuses. Our original intention was to have desert but because of how long the whole process took we were already over it. We asked him for the check, expecting him to comp something or atleast discount for the poor service. Instead a full priced check. So we all decided not to tip on what would have been a big tip as we're were a party of 6.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
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}
|
WRONG
|
JBGDvFXpJWM2p1TSBUTn8GXNUIBYHzO9
|
aq68a0
| null |
AITA
|
Ok, so, theres this old lady at work. I work at an aerosol can filling and packing warehouse. Its demanding work and shes like 90. But anyway. Today at work, I was putting labels on spray paint caps and I dropped the used roll on the ground. She fucking loads her leg back and kicks the shit out of the paper I put on the ground like 3 times to get it out of the way. I picked it up and put it in a bin. As I walked back to the packing table she says "we don't have time for you to be messing around with the bin". So I said "I was just moving it for you". Then she replies with "well if you didn't put it there you wouldn't need to move it". That annoyed me, but I let it slide. Then she puts a label on a spray can on all crooked and fucked up. She puts it on the table with the rest of the cans and then when I start loading them into boxes, i left the crooked one that SHE put on the table where it was. She snarls at me and puts the can in my face like "IS THAT STRAIGHT TO YOU!!! CAN WE PACK A CAN THAT LOOKS LIKE THAT???. now we have to open up all these boxes and make sure you didn't put more stickers on crooked!". I made a decision in that moment. So when I finished my shift, I went around the back of the warehouse on found a green ant. It's an ant that feels like a bee sting when it bites you. Pretty fucking horrible. But I found one and purposely flicked it at her and it landed in her hair. I'll know if it bit her tomorrow I'm sure, but am I a bad person for doing it?.... I somewhat regret it but at the same time, but shes just such a cunt. Like all the time.... let me know what you think....
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
WRONG
|
Cy1YvAqFj5Lm5j3EoHRllyakeCqGd8Mw
|
b9kxni
|
{
"description": "having my roommates evicted",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for having my roommates evicted?
|
Long story short: We had an amazing deal ($500 each in a gated Los Angeles house with a backyard pool.) Three of us were living in the house. One roommate we'll call Tina is from Florida and \*demands\* running the AC when it's above 70 degrees outside. She refuses for open windows, and says she'll cover the extra cost of the AC. We receive the bi-monthly bill and it's $1,500 (the last bill was about $600) so the other roommate and I split $600 and have Tina pay the extra $900, which she was very unhappy about.
Two months pass and we get ANOTHER $1,500 bill, same scenario except this time she refuses to pay for the extra cost. She doesn't have a job and runs the AC all day while everyone else is at work. Since asking her to keep it down doesn't work, I pulled the fuse on the outside box so the fan runs but the AC doesn't actually work. It was also only about 75 degrees outside, far from causing any heat or health issues.
Eventually she figured it out and insists I need to move out of the house IMMEDIATELY and that she'll be changing the locks, saying I caused her medical problems and I have broken her trust beyond repair. This is illegal (google an illegal lockout) so I called the landlord, who (surprise surprise) she had already talked to and said that I was creating an unlivable environment and asked that I be terminated from the lease. She also got the other roommate on her side, who just kept telling me "you need to go." I had already begun moving into a new place, but with the threat of having the locks changed, I exercise my right to a 60 day move out notice with the landlord, and say I'm not moving without a written notice. This means everyone has to move out of the house, since you can't kick someone off of a lease.
Everyone ended up kicked out of the house, and they tried to ruin my reputation with our friend group. As dramatic as everything turned out, I still think I was in the right here. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CZR2cBVeSIAthofsUSYkdQf4kDOyEZJL
|
airlr7
|
{
"description": "not giving a giveaway winner his prize",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not giving a giveaway winner his prize?
|
In a rush, sorry if this is all scrambled up, if you need more info let me know :)
​
So I host a daily giveaways community. We do a lot of video game giveaways, and we always have at least one daily giveaway which is completely free. Meaning people only have to click to enter and that's it.
​
In order to fund ourselves we occasionally do sponsored events and stuff like that. It's unrelated, but it's just so you know it's not like I'm completely kind and doing this all from my own wallet. Money is the least of my needs and I mainly host the community for fun, but I still profit sometimes, and the giveaways fund themselves.
​
Anyway, being the lone host of these daily giveaways, I have to make a message and announcement every day, and take care of yesterday's winners.
The only thing winners have to do in order to claim their prize is message me with a screenshot of the giveaway they won within 24 hours. You have to understand I wake up with about 30 or so messages from strangers every day, so I really just ignore winners who don't screenshot because I know it's a simple request they need to follow.
​
​
Hopefully this is not too complicated... bear with me if you can
​
Not long ago someone one a "special" giveaway we had. It wasn't daily and ran for about a week.
​
The prize was pretty big, and the winner messaged me, but without a screenshot. Naturally I ignored the message. Eventually he did screenshot but the 24 hours were up.
​
I told him he had a lot of time to check the instructions (which are sort of pinned in the community) and that I won't give him the prize.
​
Of course he argued, and I kind of changed my mind about it a lot. One time I thought like, "maybe he has a point, he did message me" and then a minute later I'm thinking "NO, 24 hours is more than enough time to check, I don't need to be chasing the winners. It was his responsibility."
​
​
I mainly do the screenshot thing because of two reasons, one being I host a lot of giveaways and need to know which giveaway they won, and two being sometimes people try to fake it and message me they won when they didn't. So it's easier for me to verify.
​
Generally the work of verifying won't take more than 30 seconds with a message, but again given I host them daily and have a lot of winners to work with, I ignore messages without a screenshot. It's part of the process of claiming the prize.
​
​
So... am I in the wrong here? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
9Wleof8X4s6KkWNaoSAjrdBCzVvg0ihg
|
9umnnv
|
{
"description": "talking about my online gaming friend's cheats on group chat, making others talk shit about him",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for talking about my online gaming friend's cheats on group chat, making others talk shit about him?
|
I play this game called Far Cry 5 on my PC. It's made by Ubisoft, came out in early 2018 so almost an entire year ago, and is mostly solo-player and co-op with some player-vs-player, too. Through the game and UPlay, Ubi's own client similar to Valve's Steam, I made this friend, "Mr. Z", who's from the other side of the world. I live in the eastern hemisphere and he lives somewhere in North America, like many other people that play the series.
A few weeks after he added me I noticed strange things when we play co-op, such as neither of us dying or even taking damage from anything, him super-jumping, and him giving me hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of in-game loot, which should under normal circumstances take a while to collect. I asked him about it and he revealed that he uses cheats. I told him I'm against cheating in PvP games and he said that he only uses them in solo and co-op and never in PvP, which means he uninstalls them first, every time.
Earlier today, we - Mr. Z, his friend "Ronoid" and I, so at least 3 people - were talking on UPlay group chat. I happen to have mentioned Mr. Z using modded software, which shocked/startled/surprised (whichever word English-speakers use) Ronoid and made him what Mr. Z was doing. The conversation ended soon after that.
Later that day, which was just today, Mr. Z told me, on private chat of course, that he needed my help in doing a co-op challenge, which he immediately followed with, "nevermind, I forgot you hate cheaters". When I saw it I genuinely felt bad and sent several apologies, still in private chat, including things like "I'm sorry" and "I only hate malicious cheaters, those that do it in PvP games like GTA Online which is infested with those kinds of people". He replied saying that he was playing Far Cry PvP with his friends who then hated on him, accusing him of using cheats in PvP and faking his scores/stats, and they all left his lobby. I really felt bad about this, I know it's my fault. I did a shitty thing. I said a few more apology phrases like "I'm sorry that happened" and some others. I wasn't being sarcastic at all, I genuinely felt guilty. I don't remember our full conversation but I think I made him hate me as a friend, because I think he said a few sarcastic-*sounding* things like "I wonder how easy it is to do it in multiplayer... easy as 123!!!"
TL;DR: I knew my online friend used cheats in a game we play but only in solo and co-op and never in PvP. I mentioned it in UPlay's group chat which made his friends think he's a cheater, and made him hate me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
4an6v9EmiSN2ZkEBnRdica8HqilfkrTh
|
ag84f1
|
{
"description": "wanting to break away from dependency from my mother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to break away from dependency from my mother
|
This is going to be a long one and throwaway acc \~
Backstory:
Since a kid I was always sheltered and my decisions were always made for me. I didn't really have much say as a child due to my mom taking both roles as a mom and dad. She raised us very well but something that has always made me explode quicker than anything recently is when she tries to still do the same thing as I am 21. I am not that golden child of the family and I very will accept that I have said many rude things to her in response to her saying thing such as " I wish I disown you and put you up for adoption." or " If you don't listen to whatever I say and follow my plans we don't have to talk anymore and you can do your own thing while I do mines." Things like that really hurt me since I am trying to rebuild my broken family from scratch. I have been able to reconnect with my brother and sister but none of us can really connect with our mom. She threw me into a state of constant anxiety and depression being at home with her since she can blow up at any time if there is something that isn't going her way. To win she would try to take away anything that she or my relatives have gifted me from my car,laptop, and phone which is fine because all these things are more luxury items than needed.
Problem:She demanded that I give her my schedule for any events, she decides who I am allowed to hang out with, and only go to school yet still expects me to pay for the bill of the car that she took which has my name. The reasoning and I wish I was shitting you about this.. I told her I wanted to work for my own things now and not rely on anyone anymore since I promised this year I would start to become my own person and depend solely on myself. She immediately flipped took the car, said that she wish I wasn't her son which in turn I flipped back and said " I never asked to be born esp from a mother like you.". She proceeded to ignore me the next few days and I took it upon myself to be the bigger person to apologize and really try to connect with my mom. I told my mom about the frustration that has built up, the constant bird watch, and how I never have been able to really decide my own life. She brought up once again that I only go to school and she would pay for everything. She has said words before and has never stuck with them hence why I don't believe she would this time and I am already working toward being independent so her doing this would be counter-productive to my goal. She called me an ungrateful child and that we would never have to speak again and that there is no mother son relationship. It really hit me and got me wondering if I am just an ungrateful asshole like she said I was and if trying to build something my siblings couldn't even worth it at this point?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
bgXCTV73yrSB28d2XxPjdIE0ilcMoMuw
|
auiqk0
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my Boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my Boyfriend?
|
So, I recently got a thread lift done for my nose, it has swell down considerably but if I were to accidentally hit my nose or something, it would hurt because it’s bruising on the inside.
2-3 days ago, bf and I went out together for dinner. Bf always has been a little rough with his teasing and he accidentally hit my nose and I got pissed because it hurts and he never really apologise for these things(not intentionally hurting me or verbally hurting my feelings due to a discussion) . I get that in this case, it might not be a big deal considering it’s accidental but it’s still basic manners, no?
I Guess the fact that he never really apologise piles up or take my feelings into consideration and that annoys me plus when he does apologise (just once or twice), it’s always really insincere.
So I got mad, I didn’t really try to converse with him and he proceed to use his phone and continue eating. In hindsight, he did try to ease the tension every now and then by talking and trying to feed me food.
Eventually, I think it got to him as well and once we left the restaurant. He said it was a wasted evening and that he’s tired and wants to go back home. I felt really bad so we parted ways and went back home and we haven’t talk to each other since then.
AITA for being mad at him which ended up ruining both of our night??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DqpYvdgbLEIDwQ8aYNjRPXWZAcF48COg
|
9vn5fl
|
{
"description": "confronting my friend on a character he made for a roleplay",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for confronting my friend on a character he made for a roleplay?
|
Basically, one of my friends, who I'll refer to as Dylan, is really into roleplaying on the internet, specifically sexual roleplay. I don't judge him, different strokes for different folks, all that. He's previously told me about his account on a specific website, he's shown me his roleplays there, etc. Basically, the account is public knowledge. I recently went on to his account, to see if he's still doing it, to discover he's started a new roleplay with sexual undertones, with him roleplaying as a character that seems to be based on my girlfriend. I'm talking same name, same hair color/style, similar heights, similar personality traits, so on and so forth. In the past, Dylan has tried to flirt with my girlfriend and I've called him out on it, so I don't think its too far of a reach to assume he could've based a character off of her. It made me uncomfortable, so I showed it to my girlfriend and she feels the same way. Would I be an asshole to confront him about his character? I understand it's not actually hurting anyone directly, in my opinion it's more of the idea behind what he's doing.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
PSFbXhuNqWgeR2aoo1i0cJSfCCH2ryXG
|
a9yngz
|
{
"description": "checking my boyfriend is actually looking for jobs",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for checking my boyfriend is actually looking for jobs?
|
Backstory, we moved to the Midlands about 6 months ago after I was offered a job in my industry, we make enough money to pay bills rent and food but we can't save money or buy nice things... We tried looking for somewhere cheaper to live initially but this is the best we could get in the timeframe allowed because of needing to start work so soon.
In the last six months he's claimed he's been looking for work but I've not see much evidence of it... And this is probably where I'll come off bad but I have his email linked to mine on my phone (It's filled with job notifications and that's it... Nothing personal on there anywhere.)
Now we think it's much harder for him to get a job because he practically failed his degree whereas I aced mine.
So now and again we'll have a tiff about me suspecting whether he's even bothering to look for work and it usually ends up with him in tears because he already feels guilty about not being able to provide.
He typically looks for jobs on retail but absolutely refuses to get a job as a cleaner (Because he thinks it will make him sick) or at a place like McDonald's (Because he thinks it's degrading) or careworker. (Again might make him sick.)
Because of this we're not doing great financially.
I'm expecting a few (Just dump him and find a better man)... 2 problems:
1. I love him to bits, we've been together 5 years and I just know he could do more if he just put some elbow grease into life.
2. I can't drive yet and he takes me to work in the morning... No public transport available as we're in the middle of nowhere
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pNTLdVRoL5YJd5hYXFNo2wHl5pENy3xP
|
apfopk
|
{
"description": "not watching a strangers's stuff for him while he went to the bathroom? this was in an airport inside security",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not watching a strangers's stuff for him while he went to the bathroom? This was in an airport inside security.
|
It sucks to have to pack up everything just to go to the bathroom for five minutes, but you're not supposed to leave things unattended in an airport and I didn't know this guy. He wasn't mad, I just feel like a jerk.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
rj5CCtBjRQxcbCL6sIhdOpqX8jseTvWJ
|
am7z28
|
{
"description": "wanting my best friend to visit during summer vacation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my best friend to visit during summer vacation?
|
Warning: very long. TLDR below.
Ok so before I get straight into it, here's some background. I've (21F) been with my wonderful boyfriend (22M) for 5 years. We have a beautiful 3 year old daughter and are just so happy together. We've done so much to make each other better people, always motivate each other and are much better at communicating problems with each other. We just love each other and our daughter so much. However, his mother hates me basically. No matter what I do, it's wrong. No matter what I say, it's wrong. It's getting so frustrating trying to make this woman happy when I give it my all, only to be told I haven't tried at all to include her or his side of the family. I try harder than her own son does (he really doesn't care about his family, he just doesn't want to hear it from his mother). She's always started drama to mess with us. She tried to takw over holidays to keep my family out of it. She refuses to see her granddaughter unless I invite her myself, which doesn't happen since I work 6 days a week. She gets into my boyfriend's head over silly arguments we have at home, saying those silly things are why our relationship is "failing" even though it's not. We missed a family trip once because I was hemorrhaging and had to stay in the hospital for the night. My boyfriend wanted to stay home with me and our then infant daughter, since the doctor said to just rest at home. He wanted to take over while I rest. Doing so had his mother pit the whole family against me, the "controlling bitch".
So, we all have a week long vacation with his family during the summer. It's all for their family and friends are always welcomed. Everyone from all over the country comes together to see friends and connect etc. My boyfriend asked his mother last year if we could bring another friend (other than his best friend), who happens to be MY best friend. She's definitely cool with it and said we need to help more financially if we want more people. That's fine, totally understandable.
My best friend is a rather tall, black, male. He's only a year older than me. Here's the obvious red flag to her, which we understand; we're friends over the internet. We haven't had the chance to meet on person, but we talk almost every day for the past decade, over discord, Skype video calls etc. We know everything about each other and have spoken to each others families. My boyfriend also talks with him and they get along so well, which is great since my boyfriend is so introverted and hates social interaction. We wanted this year to be the year we meet my best friend.
We tell his mother and obviously it is unsettling to her that he hasn't met us in person. We tell her not to be worried, with my own parents adding in he's a great kid. My father wants a BCI check, just because he is also slightly suspicious of people online, espically if he's going to stay overnight before we leave for vacation at our house. My friend agrees because he understands. We give my boyfriend's mom the same suggestion and boy does this get fun.
She requests for one as well, but also had gone digging into his Facebook profile without my knowledge. She looks through all his posts, friends, etc. Mind you, he doesn't use Facebook and has been hacked many times, having dumb repetitive posts with dangerous links being posted. We didn't tell her he was black though. She just thought he was some clean cut white kid. As soon as she saw he was black, she was completely against it. She claims his family are all crooks and gangsters and they all live in the hood etc., which is completely untrue. And he is very smart. He's in college on a scholarship. He's more weeaboo than he would ever be gangster tbh.
We get the background check from him. First, it goes through my father, who works in the same field related to criminal background and criminal activity, so he knows what he's looking for. He says it's all legit and sees no history of violence or crime. We then give the paper to the boyfriends mother, who proceeds to say she's seen enough and that paper won't prove anything. All she has seen is his fb profile full memes and weeaboo crap from over 2 years ago. He hasn't been active since literally 2016. She also proceeds to tell my boyfriend that she thinks my friend and are having an affair because of an old fb profile that I haven't used in years, having my friend on that friend list and not having my boyfriend added. I had that profile for online friends I didn't trust back in my anime loving days. Nothing more nothing less. Hell, I don't even remember the password and email for it.
Needless to say she's convinced my best friend is a crook and a hoodlum and dangerous etc. She doesn't want him anywhere near her, after doing what she calls her "detective work" and still expects us to pay for a vacation that we don't want to go on at this point. Both my boyfriend and I said we planned this for a while, with her knowing as well, only for her to change her mind when she found out his race. She didn't even care that it was an internet friend after we said we'd get a BCI from him, it's just the fact that he's black. Anyways, we just find it rude, especially coming from a grandmother who doesn't care to see her own grandchild unless she's "formally invited" instead of. "pathetically asking" to see her.
We're going to set up video call with her tonight. The three of us will be on a video call with my friend, to see if it will help clear things up, but my boyfriend thinks she'll still be prejudice about the whole thing.
So am I the a-hole here??
TLDR: future mother in law allows an online friend (my best friend of over a decade) to be invited to our big family vacation until she learns he's black, continues to stereotype him and call him a gangster. She's rude enough as it is and caused drama all through out our relationship over holidays and my health conditions, our daughter, etc. We really dread the idea of a vacation with her this year unless she stops being prejudice towards our friend.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 3,
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
7Cw0F8eCMtFjtBm3Je7irIHiftU7cs1w
|
azbmyg
|
{
"description": "getting a little mad for ruined plans",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting a little mad for ruined plans?
|
So a little while ago, me and my friend wanted to go see Captain Marvel. We made plans to go next weekend, and I already asked my mom and cleared my schedule. However, she texted me, and she went today... without me. I was a little sad and mad, but I didn't tell her or vocalize it in my texts. I said I had to go, and I went.
She apologized in the same text telling me that she saw the movie. It was like "So I went to see Captain Marvel. (I'm sorry)"
That was it before I left.
So reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
Hg0GrvvRJUoO8srGhmtj5OWczLvHR6o6
|
ap0ucz
|
{
"description": "stopping having long talks with a \"suicidal\" friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if i stopped having long talks with a "suicidal" friend?
|
He has been talking about it every time we fight for 8 months. At first I would give him multiple hour long convos but he's said it so many times I just want to stop acknowledging it. WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "telling my autistic brother not to confide in me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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|
AITA for telling my autistic brother not to confide in me?
|
So some background: I am a 21 year old university student, but currently on break. Part of the reason why i'm writing this because my brother recently had a shouting match with my parents about religion, which is a sensitive topic for them. He asked them if it was possible to be erased from multiple timelines and my parents both lashed out at him almost simultaneously, because he has been asking this exact question and others like it for about two years now, being very persistent to the point where he pesters them daily.
My Dad got very angry and told him to go to his room, telling him to shut up along the way. Later, I was watching Netflix in the family room and my brother, who we'll call Thomas (Not his real name) came into the room and told me that he didn't exist, and that our Grandmother was visiting him in his dreams, telling him that he will be smited by God. I don't know what to say to him anymore, as both of my parents, my older brother, myself and even other relatives have sat him down and tried to tell him that there's nothing to worry about and that he should just live his life, but he doesn't seem to want to listen. I've already told him everything that I thought would help him, so I decided to be blunt, and I said something to the effect of "This is why people don't like to spend time with you, why do you continue to torment our parents every day?" He responded by saying "I need to confide in somebody." I then told him not to confide in me, and to find someone else. I realize that it was harsh, but I've tried being nice and apparently that hasn't worked.
Thomas has Asperger's Syndrome, which means that he could be able to fit in reasonably well with other people with a few quirks if he worked at it, but the problem is that he doesn't want to work at it. He wants everyone else to change around him to accommodate him, and as a result of this maladaptive behavior, he actively pushes people away from him, resulting in very few friends.
Thomas is very conservative. Now this in itself, wouldn't be an issue for me, but it becomes an issue because he never shuts up about it, and brings it up at every possible turn, even at family gatherings. He is incredibly idiotic and uninformed about politics, making downright false and disingenuous statements about how "Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton tried to weaponize the U.S. government to promote their Communist agendas," while also saying that Donald Trump is a kind-hearted man. Those two statements are among the more tame things he has said, but he believes these things wholeheartedly while also spouting these crazy statements to complete strangers. The worst part is my Dad doesn't correct him when he says these things. He never tells him to knock it off or what he's saying is false and/or bad. I believe he does this because my Dad is also a hardcore conservative, but I don't think he's as extreme as Thomas is. My Dad lets him ramble and says either "Yep," or "Whatever." Unless it's about religion, in which my Dad challenges him and is quick to debunk everything Thomas says. These discussions and arguments happen almost every single day.
He doesn't seem to realize that his behavior is the problem though, to him, he is never the bad guy and it's always someone else's fault. This obsession with religious figures is just another in a long line of hateful obsessions that also include Weeaboos, Liberals, Communists, Jews, Women, other autistic people, Muslims and pretty much anyone from the Middle East or who is of Middle Eastern descent and I'm pretty sure he hates black people, as I've heard him refer to other black people using the hard-r n word in public under his breath.
I want to hold him accountable, as I don't think my parents actually do enough to help him outside of yelling at him and taking him to therapy sessions that he doesn't take anything out of. I think he's spoiled, because he seems to view everyone who wants him to have even a little bit of accountability as some type of villain who exists to torment him. He recently went off about one of his close friends, who we'll call Joe, who cut him off after many years after Thomas started sending threatening and unhinged Facebook messages. One of which read in all caps "YOU'D BETTER FUCKING GET BACK TO ME SOON YOU BIG NOSED KIKE." Among other hateful and unironic statements. Thomas then started doing the same to his significant other after Joe blocked him. However, unlike Joe, she retaliated and told him that he has a bad case of the Dunning-Kruger Effect, and that neither her nor Joe would contact him again. This sent Thomas into a rage, as he blamed her for "insulting his stupidity." While being completely unaware and inconsiderate as to how he was coming across to them.
I'm wondering if I'm the asshole here because of what might be a lack of understanding of Asperger's and Autism. I was prompted to write this mostly because I overheard a conversation Thomas had with my Dad where he told him that I'm not very patient with him, and that our older brother, who we'll call Ryan, has much more patience than me. My Dad retorted by saying that he doesn't make it easy for me or anyone else he knows. Ryan later told me that I need to be more understanding of him and his Asperger's and that I need more patience. However I think they're blind to the fact that we're dealing with an individual who could very well be dangerous if left unchecked.
TL;DR: My brother who has hateful obsessions with various races, ethnic groups, ideologies and religions got into a shouting match with my parents about trivial religious nonsense. He then started ranting to me about it, saying that he wanted someone to confide in after I asked him why he torments our parents and family members. I told him not to confide in me, because I’m sick of him not listening to mine or anyone else’s advice. I basically told him that if he won’t listen to my advice on how to overcome the problem, then don’t bother talking to me about it. I won’t help you if you won’t help yourself.
|
HISTORICAL
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axk33i
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{
"description": "asking my ex to drop off my stuff at a mutual friends house",
"pronormative_score": 13,
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|
AITA for asking my ex to drop off my stuff at a mutual friends house?
|
Hi everyone, I'll try and be as unbiased as possible since I do genuinely want to know if I'm being an asshole, because, well, I don't want to be, and I will stop and be better if I can.
Anyway, recently, my ex-boyfriend (31M) and I (24F) broke up, it was mutual, we agreed things weren't working. My boyfriend is understandably upset as we were together for 3.5 years.
We both have a few things of each others, I have some of his clothes and a headset, he has some of my tech (keyboard, VR, 3DS, etc.) he also owes me money too (I have chalked that up to, maybe might not get that back, but I at least want my things).
I asked him if we could drop off the stuff at a mutual friend's house, as it was too soon to see him (it has been around a month since at this point) and I want my things back. I feel like this is the best way to do it. He originally agreed to this.
Recently, he messaged me saying that he *doesn't* want to do this, because it makes him feel bad. He also keeps asking me if I need the stuff urgently (like, no, but...). He hasn't outright said it, but what I've gathered is that he wants to put it off until I am ready to see him again. (He keeps trying to meet/see each other, and I keep saying no because I'm not ready. I also know from a mutual friend that he wants to get back together, and I do not. This is part of the reason why I want my things back first, because I feel I have a better chance getting the things back before we see each other again.)
I tell him that I really want my things back, and I just want to get it over with because I don't want to put it off. He says I am not considering where he is at (I'm assuming this was referring to how he is emotionally) and that I am being unfair (for not waiting until we can swap in person).
I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable. I have the most to lose in this situation should things go sour (hundreds of dollars lost for me, as opposed to maybe a hundred for him, max) and I just wants my things back.
Am I the asshole for not being considerate of his feelings and still asking him to drop off my things? Should I give him more time, and wait until I am ready to see him?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b37wg9
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{
"description": "wanting to hang out with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to hang out with my friend?
|
So some backstory. This girl and I had a thing back in high school, which was roughly 7 years ago now. Since then we've agreed that it was a mistake and that nothing will ever happen between us again and that we'd remain friends. I've been going through some stuff lately and want to be around friends. So for the past while I've been trying to hang out with her. However, he current boyfriend opposes the very thought of us hanging out because of what happened 7 years ago. She's also said that he doesn't like her hanging out with any other guys and she "wants to keep him happy". He's also trying to keep her from going to prom with another one of her friends. Also she has a very adorable puppy that I really want to meet.
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HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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lpsG3caeBMyS3K0mwqDHRMOHAzudpiXM
|
9usdcy
|
{
"description": "going to my grandmother's birthday party even if it will hurt my mother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I go to my grandmother's birthday party even if it will hurt my mother?
|
My mother had a fight with my grandmother(my dad's mother) over a year ago. She claims that my grandmother has verbally attacked her multiple times over the course of many years(parents have been married for 20 years). But finally my mother snapped and came out about all the things that my grandmother has said and done. There were many examples that my mother has explained to me and there are too many to explain here. Some of them seem reasonable but happened over a decade ago and don't sound serious enough to be remembered for that long. Others seem to be so exaggerated that it just seems like my mother just took it the wrong way. An example would be my grandmother saying to my mother "Why did you stop Weight Watchers, you were doing so well?" (Weight Watchers is a weight loss program and she lost a bunch of weight from it but stopped it abruptly midway.) This comment really offended my mother for some reason.
I personally think that neither my grandmother or my mother are innocent in this. This fight has dragged my father, my brother, and me away from the rest of my family for more than a year. My father's brother and his family have all taken my grandmother's side and I miss the good ole times with them and just want this to be over but neither side wants to try and fix things. Honestly this wouldn't be such a big problem if this just stayed between my mother and my grandmother but no, everyone wants to take a side.
My grandmother's 80th birthday party is this week and they invited me to go to it. (I am 19 and moved out so I can make this decision) My aunt, uncle, cousins, and grandparents will be there. My mother somehow found out about it and she said that I can go (obviously) but that it would hurt her making her feel like I am going against her and don't care about her. She thinks that I should not go so that it would tell the other side of the family that I support her.
TLDR: Mom and Grandmother fought. Grandmother's bday party is coming up but Mom doesn't want me to go so she could feel supported. Neither of them is completely innocent.
So WIBTA if I go to my grandmother's 80th birthday party even if it will hurt my mother?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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0fU0KA40DCuJg7uHGnSpEQMXYqP4YdR8
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as6ulc
|
{
"description": "not visiting my best friend after her mum died suddenly",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not visiting my best friend after her mum died suddenly?
|
I'm feeling guilty that I haven't met the expectations of my grieving friend.
My best friend is extremely high maintenance. As her maid of honour 2 years ago, I was expected to go to pretty insane lengths to keep her happy and keep the bridesmaids performing up to her expectations (daily hour long phone calls were just the start). This lasted for over a year and a half, which drained me incredibly but I hung in there and rose to the occassion, thinking this level of attention would drop back down after the wedding.
After the wedding, I took some time to catch up on my life, focus on myself and get things in order since I'd let a lot fall by the wayside leading up to her wedding.
6 months after the wedding she lost her mum unexpectedly. At the same time I started a new job that left me with zero time to myself whatsoever. I'm talking 8 hours a day work, 4 hours a day travel and 2-3 hours of an evening doing studies as well as looking after my own family.
I called every 3 days, texted daily but didn't get a chance to see her until the funeral (which I was lucky to even be able to get to). I also sent a huge bouquet of flowers the day after it happened, not that flowers really help, but still.
I've been feeling guilty that I should be dedicating more time to her. AITA for not going to greater efforts to provide support? She has a huge in-law family who have been supporting her throughout this, not to mention her new husband and a few other friends who live very closeby who can visit (I live over an hour drive away) so I felt that she did have a LOT of support pouring in from every angle.
She has sent me a lengthy message explaining how I haven't been there for her enough. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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LEs81CYO5immqX33HpcWqfyZo2pOd98N
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asnukb
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{
"description": "letting everyone gang up on my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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}
|
AITA for letting everyone gang up on my best friend?
|
Last night I was with three other people, me and my best friend went to someone’s house to hang with her and another friend.
For explanation purposes I will label my friends. Friend A is my best friend. Friend B is the girl who owns the house we were at. And Friend C is the guy who was there.
Long story short, we were all smoking, friend A and friend C went to put air in his tire, while they were gone friend A nearly threw up in his car. When they got back we all told friend A she shouldn’t smoke anymore because she just threw up.
This caused friend A to curse and swear at both friend B and C. Then continue to argue with me. She started saying that we were all ganging up on her and got really angry. I was trying to explain to her that she just needed to calm down and listen to others for a minute, but that was just causing more of an argument.
Here’s what really made my blood boil:
While friend A and I were arguing she said, “why do they gotta pick on me”?
I said “who”?
She clarified that she meant friends B and C.
Before I had a chance to say anything else, this girl I’ve been friends with for close to 10 years, looked me right in the eyes and said
“why can’t they pick on you I just want them to pick on you”?
I literally looked at her stunned and was like “why the hell would you want them picking on me”?
Her response, “so they’re not picking on me”.
I felt really hurt by her saying that and I almost wanted to cry. Friends B and C’s jaws just kind of dropped.
Later we let her smoke more, she apologized to the others but not me. Now I’m just confuse whether I did anything wrong or not, but I still can’t believe that someone who is supposed to be my friend would say that to me.
She was bullied a lot when we were younger by her peers, because she doesn’t have great hygiene and stuff, and I have noticed in the recent past I am expected to stick up for her but she kind of enjoys or laughs along if anybody is picking on me.
Was it mean to all gang up and tell her not to smoke anymore? It’s just like, if you’re puking is it not a waste to being smoking more??? Like really.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
aojji3
|
{
"description": "giving my fiance the ultimatum to drop her close friend or we're done",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for giving my fiance the ultimatum to drop her close friend or we're done?
|
My fiance (30F) and I (26M) have been together for just over five years now. We initially met at work, but now both of us work in two different facilities. Since she started at her new job a year ago she's become work friends with a mid-40s dude that I used to work with at our mutual workplace (this dude works PRN and lives five hours away from our city, relavent later). Based on my previous work experience with him this was kinda surprising as he was a fairly quiet dude and kept to himself.
Around fall of last year she admitted to me she had a bit of a crush on him. I'm realistic and realize that people occasionally have work crushes when in committed relationships. I trusted her not to take things too far as if I felt I couldn't trust her with something like that the relationship wasn't one to stay in anyway. Her interactions with him were limited to at work and via text.
Her and I have infrequent sex (once or twice a month) and it typically consists of her lying passivly while I do my thing. Well a couple months back it was particularly passionate and something about it just gave me a sense of dread. Well two weeks back she admitted to me that not only was she thinking about her work friend during it, but she had told her work friend about it asking him if it was normal. I was taken aback and told her she needed to stop talking to him, but reassured her that we would work through this together.
She admitted to me a few days back that a few days after telling me about the first incident she texting him a nude photo of her. She tells me this photo was unsolicited and was not asked for. Again I was taken aback that 1) she was still talking to him, and 2) that she would betray my trust like that a second time. I told her she needs to stop talking to him if she wants us to heal our relationship.
Now with just the above its pretty obvious that I'm NTA. However for context my fiance has never been in a relationship that's lasted longer than 3 years, we have been having our relationship issues but both sides prior have been loyal, she has been cheated on or abused in all of her relationships giving her self-esteem issues a-plenty, she has a small social circle that have mostly moved away or gotten jobs that keep them occupied more days than not. Even prior to all this she told me she values his friendship because she feels she can talk to him openly (red-flag for me when she told me that and I reinforced that I'm supposed to be that person she talks to openly).
I want to give her an ultimatum between her friend and I. I love her dearly and care about her even more so I would hate what forcing her choice would do to her. Whether she loses her friend or me its going to make her spiral further in her depression. AITA for forcing this decision on her?
TLDR; 5 year long fiance sexts her best friend coworker and I want to give her the ultimatum of cutting him off or losing me.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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0WWHFxF5EwClXyJxWN6jghHZ2RymqT7d
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a1kv2q
|
{
"description": "dumping my girlfriend of three years",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for dumping my girlfriend of three years?
|
We were going steady. Our parents liked us. Everything was almost perfect. We've had our differences but they were never an issue.
One day we argued over whether I should take a job or wait for my career as a musician to bloom. We agreed that I'd take the job. Two days before starting, I decide to dip and work on my music because things were starting to look better.
She said it was my decision to take, but also that we could use a stable source of income. We never spoke of it after.
Months later, I was offered a film score and an album. I started work. As I made my music, I sent them to her. This happened for three months and she always gave casual feedback. She also told everyone about how "supportive" she was of my decision to pursue music, which she was definitely not.
A day before her birthday, I realised that she hadn't really listened to any of my music.
I felt invalidated and I broke up with her the day after her birthday.
She took it really well.
It's been a few months now, she's really starting to act up and I don't know what to do.
I don't feel guilty.
Should I?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
ag249x
|
{
"description": "wanting to distance myself from mutual friends of my abusive ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to distance myself from mutual friends of my abusive ex boyfriend?
|
I had been in one of the worst relationships of my life for about a year, and he ended it ~~over text~~ during my first week of college. Obviously shitty timing with the whole "adjusting to my new surroundings" thing, but it couldn't have been better for me.
I hope that none of you have experienced what I have, but I know some of you have and experienced even worse. It started small where he'd dictate who I could and couldn't talk to. No guy friends (except for our mutual friends which will come into play later) despite him cheating on me twice that I know of, and whatever girl friends I had, distanced themselves because he would rarely let me see them and hogged all of my spare time to himself and I refused to hear reason from them ~~brainwashed.~~ It escalated to him dictating what I would wear when we would go out, refusing to pick me up until I changed my clothes into something of his standards (usually something more revealing or tight fitted). And then it got way worse.
He started to force himself onto me sexually, it started as a joke, where I would jokingly resist, but really he and I knew I was on board. But then there were more times than not that I actually didn't want to do anything, and he would still proceed to do what he wanted. I never complained, or lashed out at him about it, or else he would hit me.
So he was not a pleasant man. And I never left because like I'm sure some of you may know, you can be blinded when you love someone. But that's all important. Even just hearing his name makes my skin crawl, and mention of him makes me feel actually nauseated.
But we had our mutual friends, and I wasn't going to drop friendships just because I hated my ex. Then one day, I was with a mutual friend and his father, and his father tells me that my ex had been up to visit my friend the night before. And while, yes, I know it wasn't any of my business, I was furious. I felt so betrayed. So betrayed in fact, that I later that night texted him and told him that I couldn't be his friend if he was going to be friends with that snake. Later that night I realized that I was the asshole and I apologized. I owned up to being overly sensitive, and knowing he had been so near to my college shook me up bad. He accepted my apology, and things were fine.
About 2 weeks later, this friend posts a picture of him and my ex on his Snapchat story, at a concert of one of my favorite artists, that I had taken my ex to for the previous Christmas. I unfriended him more to save myself from seeing more of my ex than anything. But it felt like a total slap in the face.
Then just this passed New Years Eve, I get a Snapchat video from my best friend. This guy is like a brother to me. He was up here at my school the night after my ex left me because he wanted to comfort me, he took me in for a few days when I couldn't stay at my home, and he and I have talked about everything. Loved each other to death. But he sends me a video of my ex at his house for a new years party. I didn't care that I hadn't been invited, all I could think was "why the fuck?" so I texted him, clearly upset. And he says "lol sorry". Not posted on his story, not an "oops wrong person" he sent a 5 minute video of just my ex to me specifically.
I haven't spoken to him since, and I told him that I couldn't be friends with someone who could backstab me like that. I have a new boyfriend now, and he respects whatever decision I make in regards to my ex, but he has said to me that cutting my friends out like that might be a little harsh, with them being the only friends I had back home (since I wasn't allowed to have any other friends).
​
tldr; my friend posted a picture of my abusive ex boyfriend, and another sent me specifically a video of the ex boyfriend, and I cut them off. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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rf3svhlmOU1OsbdDUP53Kfa7Op6WEQQz
|
av7zfz
| null |
AITA My son confronted a bully
|
AITA
My son, lets call him Timmy, is in 4th grade in a public school. A few nights ago a parent posted a question in the class Facebook group. The parent explained that her son, let's call him Pete, is being bullied on the bus and at recess and she was asking for guidance. She had tried talking with the teacher and felt that nothing was being done. I felt bad for her son and sent her a private message that said I would tell my son, Timmy, to include Pete in their recess activities so he wouldnt be lonely and hoping the bully wouldn't bother Pete since he is around other kids. She replied back and appreciated the gesture. I spoke to my son that night and asked him if he knew Pete. He did but they didnt talk much. I told him that Pete was having problems with another schools kid. I asked him the same thing i told the parent, if he would include Pete in their recess activities. He said he would.
The next day I get a call from the school principal. The principal said that Owen and his group of friends, probably 4 kids, confronted another student that was bullying Pete. They asked the bully why he was bullying Pete and it turned into a fight, there was some pushing and hitting between the kids. A punch might have been thrown. I don't really know but the principal said that someone got a minor injury. My son got lunch detention.
I am sitting here wondering if i should message Pete's parent and apologize for Timmy's action.
TLDR, I told a parent my son would include their bullied kid in recess activities but my son instead confronted the bully and caused a fight and got in trouble and someone got a minor injury.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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BqoCorjuqsupxsjaiEsdW7i1MEXSorBX
|
b2lbno
|
{
"description": "insisting people move tables",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for insisting people move tables?
|
At a bowling tournament this weekend I asked a group of people to move tables.
The tournament requires that teams move lanes between games. Its considered courteous not to crowd the people bowling ahead of you, but the seating arrangements can be contentious, theres good and bad seats at every pair of lanes.
​
Typically, most pairs of lanes have a low table, and a high table behind them. When my game finished I went to the lanes we're moving to, chit chatted with the guys bowling ahead of us, and put my bag down and walked away to stay out of their way while they finished their game.
When I came back, a group of people had sat down at the high table where I left my bag. as our games started up, I realized they were bowling in the pair of lanes next to ours, with a free table available over there. I politely asked them: "would you guys mind moving over to that table behind your own lanes so our group can stay together?"
The woman simply said "No we prefer to sit here."
Admittedly I can be stubborn, so I said "its just that, your lanes are over there, and that table behind your pair of lanes is free."
she said again "we prefer here" and at this point her husband jumped in and said "we were here first"
Now I'm actually mad, because they were the last bowlers in their group, and I'm the first, theres no way thats true, and even if it was, its only because I was being courteous to the bowlers ahead of us and giving them space. Also, what is this Junior High?
I called them Rude and said they need to stay on their lane's tables. she said "are you done?" I said "sure." and they stayed out of my way the rest of the day.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
01apcebIUFuT5KO3xCoZoOG6DZgeMnyq
|
b27sgi
|
{
"description": "not uninviting my friend's ex to a 21 pilots concert after she cheated on him",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not uninviting my friend’s ex to a 21 pilots concert after she cheated on him?
|
(Sorry for formatting, I’m on mobile) A couple months ago, I made plans to go to a concert with some friends. We’ll call my guy friend C, and his ex, who I’m also very good friends with, L. C isn’t a big concert goer but L loves 21 pilots just as much as me, so I invited her and two other friends to go. We were set to go to the concert this summer, no one had a problem with it at the time. However, we recently discovered L had cheated on C, and C wants no one to talk to her anymore. When I first found out I definitely planned on uninviting her, but L has a long history of anxiety and depression, and the week after they broke up both her grandmother and her cat passed away. I didn’t want to also tell her she couldn’t go to the concert and add onto what all she was dealing with, and now that the dust has settled I just feel bad for having to pick a side and want her to come anyways. Im the only person from this group that still really talks to her from our town (she moved away for college and now doesn’t have many friends to come home to) and we’ve already had the plans for the concert figured out for some time. AITA for not listening to my friend and not uninviting her to the concert?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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|
OTHER
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{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ti3zJRb4pHoLLSU1yJPVSH25FfeEIkJB
|
9x6xh6
|
{
"description": "requesting that my roommates cut down on clutter in shared spaces while my bedroom is a mess",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I request that my roommates cut down on clutter in shared spaces while my bedroom is a mess?
|
My room has clothes all over the floor and random stuff scattered across most surfaces. It's not usually very tidy, although I clean up every couple weeks. Clutter stresses me out, but when it's my own, and I have control over when it gets cleaned, I don't mind as much.
I make an effort to be very concious of my messes in shared spaces. I'd never want my roommates to have to clean up after me or deal with dishes I left out, etc. So while my own space is a mess, I'm very neat outside of it.
My roommates are very messy and don't really make much of an effort to organize their stuff or clean up after themselves. We have cardboard boxes, grocery bags, and suitcases full of random craft supplies, costume pieces, collectives, etc in every corner of the living room and I'm getting tired of it. I've mentioned a few times that I'd really like to clear up some space or at least organize stuff and get it on shelves, in drawers, closets, etc, rather than sitting on the floor in bags. It feels like we're a couple stacks of newspapers away from being a hoarder's den.
I feel like a hypocrite for asking them to clean our shared space when my personal space is usually pretty messy. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YxuvCWhDzFhJ80ezoftgi8DiqC8nAbiy
|
9xab4x
|
{
"description": "moving someone's laundry and using both washers in an apartment building",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for moving someone's laundry and using both washers in an apartment building?
|
I've been in my apartment building for 3 1/2 years now. The building has 24 apartments, not all are occupied. There are only 2 sets of washers/dryers. All of the younger occupants use their parents washers. I have kids and a lot of laundry to do. Normally running 4 loads every Wednesday, and a buffer load or two Saturday. I don't always get down to change the loads right when they finish as it's crazy some days keeping up with the kids. It's been the norm to come down to my laundry put on the clean folding table adjacent to the washers. And I don't blame them for not taking their day to wait for me. Everyone uses both washers at a time if they have the loads. If you go down and both are taken, but leave your basket, the first person starts to leave one open knowing someone is waiting.
Yesterday, I go down with only two loads to run. One washer taken, one open. Cycle is finished, clothes sitting. I give it a few minutes and decide to start digging out the tree and christmas decor from storage. No one shows by the time I'm ready to start carrying up the 10 large bins to the second floor. So I move the laundry and start both cycles because there's no laundry basket with clothes waiting.
Carry up my second set of boxes and headed down for my third trip and when I pass a new renter, single mother and her kid are in the laundry room. The conversation as follows:
NewGirl: umm excuse me!
Me: yes?
NG: did you move my laundry?
Me: yeah, it's all on the counter. I didn't see anyone that needed the washers, so I started both. You need me to leave a dryer open when I move mine over?
NG: *0-100. Starts screaming* Your are rude. Really rude. That's my laundry and you don't touch it. There's 24 apartments here and two washers. You moved mine and took both washers.
Me: I'm sorry. The cycle on the machine to the right takes 31 minutes. The machine on the left takes 28. It'll be done in 12 minutes. Do you need it then?
NG: No I don't. But you're rude your shouldn't touch my laundry. I only use one at a time. I've done 8 loads today. *More cussing and betraying ensues...*
Me: *still holding restraint as her daughter was in the room* Look. I've been here for 3 1/2 years now *completely cuts me off to scream at this point*
NG: I don't care how long you've been here. I'm 52 years old and you're... *at which point I am losing it and cut her off*
Me: I don't give two shits how old you are. Don't care if you're a single mother to your one kid. I have three and it doesn't give me an excuse to scream at my neighbor the first time I've talked to them. No one waits for me to come down and change my laundry and I don't expect them to wait. I would never take 8 1/2 hours to do 8 loads of laundry and you shouldnt have either. Use both the washers and you'd be done in half the time instead of taking up half the machines literally all day. I've also seen people leave their laundry sitting for hours and entire days in the wash or dryer. *Again cut off*
NG: *with more profanity in front of her child* 5 minutes. 5 minutes! That's all it was sitting for.
Me: simply not true. You're just being a real bitch about this and not how a 52 year old adult should approach a conversation. I'm not waiting hours for the people that leave their clothes. I don't know, not would I care that it's your laundry there. I have no we a6 of knowing how long it's been sitting there before it's okay to move it
NG: you shouldn't move anyone's laundry. You're a rude asshole.
Me: well you're pretty screwed. I wake at 4 am. Everyday. My throw away laundry will be in both washers every morning at that time, and it'll sit there. Don't you dare touch it.
NG: *storms away mumbling the whole way*
Obviously an unpleasant person. Her approach to the situation unreasonable and uncalled for. But as for laundry etiquette, AITA???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
pm0Ovih3ZIxEX08Kx3F9iW4muiZTl2z2
|
a2b5ps
|
{
"description": "getting tinder while I'm still in love with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I got tinder while I'm still in love with my ex?
|
I recently got cheated on and dumped by my ex bf of about a year but we have known eachother since we were like 12. Now we are both in University together and I feel like hes been using me as his booty call for the last few months and he knows I'm still in love with him. He has hurt me so many times and at this point I really want to get out but it is really hard to not respond to him and answer his calls. I wanna get tinder so I can basically put less energy into being his side chick and more energy into meeting other people and moving on. But I feel like it would be assholish to go on dates and try to start stuff with someone when I know I still have feelings for my ex. WIBTA if i got tinder even though I'm still in love with my ex?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Fq8KItf3836ukUVJgRykNA7GY1dgeurL
|
atvuwb
|
{
"description": "being mad because I have to share a room with my twin sister because my 20 year old sister dropped out of college",
"pronormative_score": 53,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA (14M) for being mad because I have to share a room with my twin sister(14F) because my 20 year old sister dropped out of college.
|
So my 20 year old sister dropped out of college because she couldn't deal with the structure of it and she didn't like her roommate and they wouldn't give her a new one so now she is is going to be starting college online. But because of this I have to move my room I no longer have my own room and moving into my twin sisters room I asked why cant my 20 year old sister move into my sisters room with her since there both girls my mom told me that it wouldn't be fair to make a 20 year share a room with a 14 year old. Like what it's not fair to me that I have to give up my room that is already the smallest room in the house because my sister dropped out. I have no control over what she does it's such bullshit. AITA everyone in my family says I'm being a dick because of this but I dont think so.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 45,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 53,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
O2g7fsLWywiylg4vJgviN6cK8Y07Crkb
|
b8trj4
|
{
"description": "leaving work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Leaving Work?
|
So this happened a while back but it still nags at me. I had stared a new job i was 16 at the time and it was in a small cafe like shop. It was i think my second time in the closing shift and the way we close down usually breaks down like this. We close doors at 8:00 and do all of the cleaning up (washing dishes, prepping for tomorrow, sweeping floor, wiping tables etc.) Then we take one last look around and lock up and leave, the times that I closed we left usually around 10pm as there are only 2 people shutting down. So i was working at the till and the person i was closing with was working at the food section so we start closing. I count the remaining sweets we have left and take the old products to the back as they will either get thrown out or donated and clean the sweets counter. Then I start counting the money and filling out papers for how much we had in sales and they are about half done with their station. Once i finish i put the cash in a safe in the back and start cleaning up the coffee station. By this time its about 8:30 and they finish their station and start washing dirty dishes. So i get finished cleaning the coffee station at around 9:30 and start cleaning the tables in the front and sweeping and mopping the area. 10:45 hits us and we have to clock out (we get written up if we dont clock out in time) so I finish up the rest of the mopping and its about 11:00 and my parents were texting me because they were picking me up and wondering where i was. As i had cleaned up all of the front and mopped and sweeped everything and my partner was still in the back washing dishes (mind you its been about 2 hours and 30 minutes at this point). So i asked them if i could go because it was getting late and all they had to finish was the dishes. Now we dont have a dinner rush at this cafe, most of the customers come in at middday and the shift before us does dishes then too so there arent a ton of dishes to clean and we had a big dishwasher. So they shouldnt be washing dishes for that long. I ask if i could go because my family was waiting for me and they said "yeah, have a goodnight see you tomorrow" so i thought i was in the clear, but i was wrong. The next day they had sent a picture of the dirty dishes to the works group chat at 1AM saying that they couldnt do it all because i had left them. Which looked like the same ammount of dishes that were there when i left. So Am I the Asshole for leaving?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
T3S0nZW9Yri2Jslw1rkbX35jL2H6y5ad
|
azy6vj
|
{
"description": "leaving my dads gloves in my car",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my dads gloves in my car?
|
Sorry for the format. I’m on mobile.
Yesterday my brother decided he wanted to use our car to go to his friends house to sleepover. I told him that I already planned to go out and I had school the next morning so I needed the car and I could just drop him off and pick him up. My mom also did not want him taking the car because I needed it for school the next day but he took it anyways. My dad gets home and wanted to use our car to plow the driveway but he couldn’t because the car was gone so he needed to plow. I used his gloves to go skating and I left them in my car so when he asked where his gloves were I said they were in my brothers car that he took. My dad then got mad at me and took my driving privileges away but my brother is unpunished. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8ttvCRWxU1Q4a7pRdqjOkMGYixtExtxV
|
a8sojm
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be around my boyfriend's autistic brother for extended periods of time",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be around my boyfriend's autistic brother for extended periods of time?
|
TLDR: My boyfriend's (21) brother is autistic and 17-18. He has asked my boyfriend personal questions about our sex life, and their mom sees it as he is developmentally about 14-15 and starting to be curious about sex and all. He keeps bringing up that he wants to see me wearing cat ears like an anime catgirl, and I am very uncomfortable.
Anime is likely my boyfriend's brother's special interest, so I try to engage him in conversation since I had an anime phase in high school (I'm 22). His family doesn't really know much about anime, and I understand how that can be frustrating to not have anyone to share your hobby with.
I frequently wear a choker with a little bell on it, and his brother (I'll call him C for simplicity's sake) tells me it reminds him of anime catgirls. That's fair enough. But he has asked repeatedly to see me wearing cat ears like an anime catgirl. Knowing anime tropes, I'm aware of how sexualized catgirls are (if you're not familiar, a quick google image search will probably do the trick).
I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that this request doesn't have any sexual undertones, but he has also asked my boyfriend what we do with the door closed/why we sleep with the door closed at night and if we showered together. Their mom had to explain to him why not to ask those kinds of questions, and she is aware of his budding sexuality as he is closer to 14-15 maturity wise.
C brought it up again the other day, asking if he could see me wear cat ears like an anime catgirl and how cool it'd be if catgirls were real and how they'd have catlike mannerisms. I tried to go along like yeah cat ears are cute and that's a thing in a lot of anime. My boyfriend said something along the lines of "C, that sounds ridiculous to be in real life," and C replied "this is just between me and (thr0waway9295)." My boyfriend and I were both really uncomfortable, but I tried to defend C like "he means because you don't like anime."
But I can't help but wonder if this is sexual in nature or if it has anything to do with the fact that I'm Chinese. They have a cousin similar in age who is also into anime, and some of her drawings are hanging in C's room. Would he also want to see her wearing cat ears since they have similar interests too?
In any case, I am very uncomfortable with the entire situation. I brought this up to my boyfriend briefly, and I definitely will talk to him about it again.
AITA if I want to be around C less and voice this to my boyfriend? Am I just being too sensitive/not considerate enough of his autism?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JPfKSe36d3akc3ttuBJRxmRqwvDcnDgy
|
ah381o
|
{
"description": "calling out my teacher",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for calling out my teacher
|
I'm gonna try to keep it short.
So I'm in AP Lang this year and my teacher has probably taught us about 2% of the information we need to pass the exam, no exaggeration.
She always just talks about politics, always from her point of view, and it's really annoying.
I'd say about half the class agrees with her and half disagrees, but us that disagree don't want to start an argument because that's just what she wants.
Since winter break we have just been talking about immigration (not a coincidence), her trying to convince us of her point of view and loosely tying it to english.
So, Tuesday we were about 3/4 of the way into a 100 minute block period and she was still ranting. So I raise my hand and say "I fail to see how this relates to English." She was speechless, didnt say anything.
I'm sure it came out sarcastic but I was 100% serious, I want to get my college credit in that class.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
rOJgSVetjGBAENSjSmb3KcFWRwBggMld
|
b8jdpr
|
{
"description": "kicking cousin out of the house",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for kicking cousin out of the house
|
My mom fosters two distant cousins. They help at her store. One is a teenager, and the other a young adult (let's call him Ander)
I came in last week, having not been home since December. Yesterday, I'm helping supervise body work on mom's car and mom joins me there in the evening. It starts to get late and she wants to relay instructions for the boys to close up shop but she doesn't have Ander's phone number, so she calls her neighbour to give his phone to Ander. He obliges but moments later he calls, pissed, that he didn't sign up to be insulted. Mum immediately says to give the phone to the teenager. She proceeds to give instructions and end the call and completely glosses over the "insult" statement by her neighbour. So I ask her. Turns out Ander has done this before, amongst other public shows of disrespect towards my mother
When we get home, against my mom's wishes to ignore his affront, I confront Ander and he keeps being rude towards me and my mom. This devolves to a fist fight and afterwards I ask him to pack up and leave our house.
He obliges, saying how he's done with my shit. Starts to pack. Says he would treat my fuck up. Says I'll pay for disrespecting him in such a manner. How do I have the guts to hit him. Is he a kid?
I can't believe it. He's been with us over 5 years now. My mom has treated you like her own son. Clothe you. Feed you. Sheltered you. Bought you a phone last Christmas and you disregarded it because its too small. It was an itel. I'm barely ever home myself. I expect that when I'm not home, you'd protect and stand up for my mother not disrespect her.
Turns out his reason for not picking the call was because, in his words, Why would mummy call <neighbour> when I have a phone in my pocket?
In the meanwhile, my mom is now on the phone with my aunt, and his dad. She's begging me to let him stay but I'm not having it so she figures they'd be able to talk me down.
Now the extended family is involved. Most of them saying the same thing, that I should let him stay and we should all go to bed and discuss it in the morning. But I have a better idea, since he wants to leave, and I don't want him here. I escort him and his stuff to another aunts place, a few blocks from my mom's.
This morning, mom agrees to have him back, at least till he can start a business of his own with her help (which was agreed upon when she started fostering him, estimated to be the end of this year). I want whatever mom wants but I'm not comfortable with it. Dad (not around) and siblings and a few cousins agrees with me that he should leave. My aunt gives him a stern talking to and promises me that he would do better
Ander returns to the store. We share a terse but civil interaction. No apology was offered to me or my mother
A family meeting is planned for this evening.
TL;DR cousin is disrespectful and I kick him out in the middle of the night, starting a shitstorm of family drama
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
d8WBethQusrebpCVH4H9iocl4oS1VQwJ
|
ateh70
|
{
"description": "turning down getting someone something overseas on my way home",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for turning down getting someone something overseas on my way home?
|
So I'm overseas holidaying, and I asked my friends if they wanted me to get them anything, I was thinking they might want some cake or something small and easy (like one friend asked for some coffee). One friend asked for 30 different pens from 3 different brands with some notebooks with it. It's not exactly near us and would involve us taking the metro out for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pU2ONMZzsxXi3HXLB2peuOvdkuTIN7GL
|
b5z6km
|
{
"description": "finally telling my mom how she makes me feel",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finally telling my mom how she makes me feel?
|
I'm 30. My WHOLE life my mother has acted like she has the worst kids on the planet. Nothing is ever good enough, nothing is ever praised, nothing I ever accomplished was looked at with anything other than indifference. If I ever asked for help financially it was always met with long lectures about how stupid I am and then it would be held over my head for months and snide underhanded comments would be made like "Well we cant go to the movies because (me) cant handle their finances."
There is SO MUCH MORE crap to add to this but... due to cut hours and loss of business my check these last few weeks have been less than I am used to. I missed a bill and my power got shut off. I get paid this Saturday and I'll get it paid and the lights back on.. I just have to make due for a few nights.
My mother found out and offered to pay my electric bill. I refused because its easier on me to just live in the dark than deal with her emotional abuse. Anyways, she argued with me about it and demanded to know why I wouldn't accept her help. I broke down and told her, she makes me feel like a piece of shit and I'm tired of feeling like that. I'm tired of her acting like shes never had hard times herself and that I didn't want to deal with her BS about me sucking and the jokes about me needing help.
Her responses were that she was sorry, ok, and goodnight.
Now I feel like garbage for possibly hurting her feelings... am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FhQwpvxPs118Umult3SOONmHatshtxxU
|
a0ygbw
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed with all the people who say they're upset about Hillenburg",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed with all the people who say they're upset about Hillenburg?
|
Most people before this probably couldn't tell you who created sponge bob, now everyone's acting like they knew all about him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
Job1x4clV5HL7HxRD1tWzChMT8yMAXdh
|
ak91pc
|
{
"description": "not wanting to apologize to my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to apologize to my girlfriend?
|
This happened a few days ago. We were texting and I was telling her about a stressful situation I was in. I’ll explain just to give context. At her suggestion, I had written a piece for a local writing competition and was trying to submit it. The group holding the competition only lets members participate, but I had already decided to join and sent in my application two weeks prior. They didn’t respond to my email until that day. They said I couldn’t join until they reviewed a piece of my work to see if I’m good enough. Had they responded earlier, that would be fine, but instead, since they were slow they weren’t going to be even considering my membership until after the deadline for the competition.
I told her all of this and how frustrating it was. I told her it annoyed me and made me kinda angry that they were being unprofessional in their slowness and how it almost felt intentional, since the email I got even mentioned that had they read it sooner I would have been fine, but I *just* missed it. She responded over text in short snippets. She told me that if the group annoyed me that much I should just stop complaining and do something else. I shouldn’t care about joining if they annoy me that much.
I got kinda mad at her and told her as much. We had a little fight. I didn’t like how she was being short with me and getting mad at me for venting. She vents about her problems to me all the time and she’s always encouraged me to be more open and to talk to her when I’m having problems. After we discussed it, she explained that she had not intended to seem annoyed or angry at me. I apologized for the mean things I said.
She is still mad at me for not apologizing for misinterpreting her messages. It’s my opinion, which I expressed to her, that I shouldn’t have to apologize for her making me feel bad. When I’m not clear with what I say and I offend her, which thankfully doesn’t happen often, I apologize for miscommunication.
I have apologized for the mean things I said while angry. I don’t feel like I should apologize for being offended by what she said. I don’t want to set a precedent where I apologize whenever she makes me feel bad. It doesn’t really happen often, but it just seems like a bad idea to set that precedent.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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MTKlfCu8gOKz20fPYEbY3r6pn1kV50yd
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ai1fiw
|
{
"description": "being livid that my boyfriend didn't tell me his ex lives a minute away",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being livid that my boyfriend didn't tell me his ex lives a minute away
|
Tldr at the bottom.
I'm 26F and my boyfriend is 32.
We've been together for about 8 months. My lease is up and I want to move, but we aren't ready to move in together yet. So, we decided that I would find an apartment close to him, and then we would see how we're feeling in 6 months when his lease is up, and decide then if we want to move in together. That way we aren't rushing things, but are still leaving the option open.
So, today, I was talking about apartment places that I've been looking into, and I told him that I found an open apartment in the complex next to his apartments. (He lives in an apartment complex that has 8 buildings or so. The one I found is not one of those, but in the next complex over, which is pretty much a one minute drive, because you just have to exit his complex, turn onto the main street, and then into the complex next to it.)
He just said no, and was super weird about it. I asked him if it was because it was too close and he was weirded out by it, and he said that wasn't it. I kept pushing and he eventually admitted his ex-girlfriend lives in that complex. They broke up about 6 months before we got together, and I honestly never asked too many questions. I know they were together for about 3 years, and that she broke up with him and he thinks she was cheating toward the end. I never looked her up, don't even know what she looks like. I got upset because I feel like "Oh by the way, my ex lives one minute away from me" is something he should have told me about, right? But I didn't want to cause an issue over nothing, so I didn't bother pushing it.
But then I got to thinking. Sometimes he'll pick me up and I'll end up at his place for the weekend without my car. When that happens, instead of driving me 40 minutes to my house to get my car just to come back, he'll let me use his truck to run errands or to the store or whatever while I'm at his place. There's been at least 4 occasions when a white car has followed me down the main road, followed me all the way to the back of the complex, and then left when I pulled into his garage. I was curious once and followed them back, and they pulled into that complex next door and parked, but didn't get out so I couldn't see what they looked like. I now feel like it almost has to be her? I told my boyfriend this story, not knowing she lived there, and mentioned that it really freaked me out and I didn't want to drive around alone anymore. He played it off as 'really weird' and at one point said I was probably being paranoid. But if he knew it was her, shouldn't he have told me? I've been on high alert looking out for myself, thinking I was being stalked, and it turned out to be his ex, and he played it off like I was crazy.
I brought this up and it started a big fight with us (a first for us) and he thinks I'm overreacting. I basically stormed out and haven't talked to him since yesterday. But now I'm not sure if I was right to be so upset. AITA?
Tl;dr: My boyfriend didn't tell me that his ex lives a minute away, and she's been following me and he's played it off like I'm crazy. Am I overreacting by being so upset?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
AcZcPTSYfZdH8c5UyvAr3v0mNLXSdu28
|
aqt3m2
|
{
"description": "unknowingly geting my friend's iPod wet and pretty much fucking it up permanently",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for unknowingly geting my friend's iPod wet and pretty much fucking it up permanently?
|
Hello, this is my first post on reddit, I've seen the subreddit in YouTube Compilatory Videos and i thought this was the best place to talk about this ongoing debate I've had with my bud for years:
So there's this guy (we'll call him Mike) that I've been friends since Kindergarten and is still, to this date, one of my best friends. We live in different cities now, but every time we're together, we bring this up, so I thought it would be better to settle it once and for all:
So, about 5-6 years ago, we were in my city's local Amusement Park, and Mike just had one of the newest iPod Touch models (They were kinda popular at that time), and we see one of these games where one guy sits in a plank and the other throws a ball at a target to try & get him into a small pool with water (Dunk Tank, I believe it's called).
Mike and I decide to play it, we bought 3 tries each, and I waws the first to sit in the thing. Mike got me on his second try and I fell into the water. Then we switched places.
For some reason, Mike had kinda forgoten to take his iPod out his pocket, but he didn't really care that much, since my aiming wan't great.
Like I said, my aiming wasn't that good, so I give my first try, I fail, same with the second one, but when i went to pick up the ball for my last try, I thought *"Screw It, I'm not gonna get him anyways"*, and i just pressed the button with my hand, obviously without knowing he had the iPod in his pocket.
So, he comes out of the tank, we walk away, and about 5 minutes later, he realizes that the iPod fell into the water alongside him. He tried to turn it on, Nothing. He put it in rice for a few days, Nothing. The thing broke down beyond the point of easy repairing.
AITA? He always says that i wasn't going to land that 3rd try (which is true) and that's why he didn't bother taking out the iPod, plus, I broke the rules by hitting the button with my hand, but in my defense, neither of us remembered he had it in his pocket, and I wouldn't have pressed the button if i knew he had it with him, or if, you know, he had taken it out and handed it to me before getting into a water-based atraction.
Thanks beforehand for helping me settle the debate, and I'm sorry if there are spelling/grammar mistakes. English isn't my first language and I haven't practiced it in a while now.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
I6HcTLvhXwyTAYAeaEuYQbj0HumhrfSD
|
ama4p6
|
{
"description": "asking my inlaws to change how they celebrate Hollidays with my children",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for asking my inlaws to change how they celebrate Hollidays with my children
|
My in-laws are very traditional and have very specific ideas about Holliday's that my wife and I don't share. Specifically for every Holliday they buy the kids a basket of candy filled with plastic tinsel that we feel terrible about throwing away.
So the other day I decided to send them a text about upcoming Valentine's day and what they were planning. I'll post the text and their response next.
My text: Hey for Valentine's this year if you guys want to get the kids stuff can you please give things like nuts, seeds or beef jerky instead of candy. They also need things like deodorant, nail clippers, Combs. Also please don't give them the plastic or metallic streamers or confetti. We agree it looks nice but we feel terrible having to think about how it will be around for thousands of years so we could enjoy it for a few seconds. I know it's presumptuous of us to ask all this but if it wasn't important to us we wouldn't ask, so thank you for your understanding.
Their response: Whattt??? We only do pizza on Valentine's day and I dont think we've ever bought streamers or confetti. Personal hygiene products are your department, I think, and the candy hearts aren't event available this year, so no worries!
The next day I talked to my FIL about and and basically tried to tell him we understand it's their tradition to buy baskets but basically we agreed to disagree. Later that day my MIL called my wife to bitch her out about this and basically they are super angry and think it's rude of us to ask them to change and we are stupid for worrying about the environmental impact of their gifts. They also said my text was extremely rude.
I recognize bringing this up in person would have been the best thing but I didn't because I knew it would devolve into a shouting match and I was hoping starting the convo with a text would let everyone calm down and gather their thoughts before we talked in person. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
3wt6X84gayD51JkI010iLJBHFEQzMOjn
|
ad7afe
|
{
"description": "telling my wife that I won't allow our children to hang out my MIL's house",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling my wife that I won't allow our children to hang out my MIL's house?
|
My wife and I are staying at her mother's house while we're shopping for a new home.
My wife's brother is also staying at the house as he is jobless. He has mental issues and is being medicated to help control his anger. He's been mostly fine in the time we've been staying there but my wife insist that it's only because I'm there. He also has drug problems. He has pawned his PS4 4 times this past month and the MIL has brought it back from the pawn shop. No end to that cycle.
The MIL has a mild case of hoarding. There is random shit everywhere. We cleaned up the basement to make room for ourselves but goddamn, it's messy, dirty, but not horribly unlivable.
We have numerous nieces and nephews on my side of the family. It's fairly normal when these kids are staying overnight at their grandparents or their aunt and uncle house.
My wife and I are trying for a baby and the topic came up of whether or not we're going to allow our family to babysit our children overnight. I'm ok with my side of the family doing that, they all have kids, they're experienced and they're normal.
Her family, however, I won't allow our children to stay with them overnight (Except maybe her sister after some changes to be made). That was my firm statement to my wife. She was disappointed to hear that.
Her mother's house is not a safe environment for children to stay, there's a drug user with mental issue staying there. It's a filthy place to stay. Her sister has a pair of dogs that I wouldn't leave young kids around without supervision, it also doesn't help when her boyfriend constantly drinks and leaves beer cans all over the place (I'm not talking 10 or so, I'm talking a garbage bag full of cans after cleaning up one time)
My wife said that it's possible that her mother can clean up, get rid of her brother and said the same for her sister.
I believe that her mother is stuck in a cycle where she is enabling her son's drug habits (Who the fuck buys a PS4 4 times from a pawn shop?) and thinks that her house is perfectly fine. Her sister on the other hand, I can see some improvement but as I said, her family has ways to go to prove to me that they're capable of taking care of little kids.
tldr; wife's family is fucked up, I told her I won't let our future children stay with them
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
yC1RZAXPmknnJ30X6p941qUID4UwG9Sm
|
aoj4u1
|
{
"description": "taking down someone else's lost cat flyers",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTA to take down someone else's lost cat flyers?
|
We moved into a townhouse in mid-December. Ever since we moved in, there have been posters for a lost cat. The flyers looked pretty old, so I checked Facebook and see that the cat went missing on July 15. I'm not sure if the cat has been found or not. The last update on Facebook was August 21 saying he wasn't found.
I know it's kind of assholey to take them down since they're not mine, but they're an eyesore and have to come down eventually. Seven months is long enough, right? I assume he's either found or dead.
(I could also text the owner and ask if he was found, but if he hasn't been, that would be pretty awkward.)
Would I be the asshole to take the flyers down?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
XWZPqoi910nGMXytrfsr00LPCyFwvJvE
|
awixib
|
{
"description": "trying to get a bad tenant kicked off section 8",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA - For trying to get a bad tenant kicked off Section 8?
|
I rented my house out to a woman on Section 8, which is where the government pays a substantial amount of the rent because they are lower income. I have other houses rented out to Section 8 tenants, and normally don't have issues. This woman and her family have been nothing but evil and destructive. She immediately moved her mother in to watch her 4 kids. She is not supposed to have other adults living there. I would not have really minded but, her mother who wasn't supposed to live there, was running a daycare out of there. This put additional wear and tear on the house. They finally left at the end of the lease, but they have torn up so many things, the deposit will not even cover it. I could try to go after her in small claims court, but I doubt she will pay. Is it wrong to try and get her kicked off the program so another landlord won't experience that?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
VKqPEkc1eMErODeTfL0mnHRtKcx0gDxf
|
b3wykb
|
{
"description": "telling my history teacher she doesn't know how to teach",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my history teacher she doesn't know how to teach?
|
We have had 3 history teachers this year:
"Original" teacher called Jans, he had an accident and hasn't come to school for a month.
1st substitute teacher called Joshua, actually really cool and interesting guy, his teaching method was kind of old in the way that he only talks and we listen but the way he tells things makes all the class shut up and pay attention. Surprisingly he also had an accident after 3 days of being there so he had to leave.
2nd substitute teacher called Melany, actual pain in the ass, not trying to be harsh or rude, but her teaching method is not the kind anyone in my school is used to, let me explain you. We are used to learn with activities that keep us entertained and interested in the class, every teacher in the school does it, even Jans did it. But she somehow expects for 25 loud teenagers to sit and shut up in the class reading and answering questions individually when we are not used to.
So today at History. I got to be honest, my class is very loud and makes a lot of jokes in general. We usually joke sometimes by singing happy birthday even when there is no actual birth day that day, but we have fun and the teachers have fun. But not this teacher. She started saying how disrespectful it was to her and that she will be telling the principal about it. We only shut up but kept messing a round doing jokes BUT at the same time working on what she told us to (read and answer questions individually). She told us to behave ourselves and that we have to work individually and in silence. Many of us only shut up for a minute and then kept talking and joking. This is the way we behave all the time yet we get good grades.
Some of us got bothered and complained that her teaching method was boring and that we were used to do more activities to learn. She said we had to get used to her method because she will be with us for another 2 weeks. I didn't said anything at the moment, but had a lot of things to say to her. The time passed and eventually, minutes before the period ended, someone complained again and she said the same thing. So I told her that her teaching method was too old and that it basically was useless now because there are better and easier ways to learn nowdays that benefit the student and the teacher. She didn't respond, but I'm sure she heared because later everybody told me how "daring" I was telling her that.
I was planning on repeating it on Monday since to my view of point, we are right and she is wrong. But I would like to know if I behaved like an a-hole by saying that even if she didn't respond.
Just keep in mind something that I've learned trough the years. If there are teachers that are able to control a group of "misbehaving" students, it is not because of the students if a teacher is not able to control them, it is probably because of the lack of attitude on the teacher and the way the teacher teach that is not able to control them.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
|
I4FaTIf0CamEJ3O9j0z8jJSFM4yndHVr
|
agd0cu
|
{
"description": "Disapproving of a Friend's drug use",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for Disapproving of a Friend's Drug Use?
|
Long post. Sorry in advance.
To preface, I'm not exactly anti-drug, as I've used a number of recreational substances both legally and illegally, and actively rely on pharmaceutical drugs as part of a treatment plan for my own mental illness and cognitive difficulties.
That said, my closest friend and I are often at odds over their rampant and reckless drug dependence. They're the sweetest person, but they struggle tremendously with schizophrenia, an eating disorder, self-harm, family issues, and a history of sexual abuse and resultant PTSD. With all that to deal with, I do understand why they've developed such a reliance -- it makes them feel better, helps them forget, allows them to take control of the ways in which their brain is warping, etc.
My problem is not so much a moral judgment -- if it was, I doubt we ever would have become friends in the first place -- but from what I feel is a place of concern. I feel like with so many issues, feeding a drug habit to the point that it becomes an addiction that their life almost solely revolves around is just making matters worse, and is going to do them more harm than good, even though it may not feel that way to them. Particularly, they've recently gotten into frequently using more hardcore substances like GHB, meth, and crack; all very popular in the chemsex community that they frequent.
&#x200B;
The first time they smoked meth around me, I was extremely uncomfortable, and asked them not to. In my mind, it was because I didn't want to feel like I was enabling the seeds of what I was sure would grow into addiction and be yet another problem to deal with. But when I told them this, they snapped at me, and got deeply upset, humiliated almost, that I would even use the word "enable", like I was seeing them like a naughty child that needed to be fixed by my meddling, or a bad person with no self-control.
&#x200B;
They told me that they felt judged and hurt by my words because they felt I was someone who understood and wouldn't attack them for their problems and choices. I thought that was a kind of shitty and manipulative way to put it, even if it wasn't intentional, and apologized for making them feel hurt, but defended my position. We've been friends for ages, and they're generally not a manipulator at all, so I was very surprised and assumed they must have honestly meant it.
It got worse than ever when ended up in a room at a hotel party, just the two of us and a third person. I was already in a bad mood, and it seemed apparent to me that the two of them were regarding me as a dark cloud over their fun, specifically because I didn't want them to smoke meth or crack in the room (partly because it was tied to my card and name), didn't want them to engage in chemsex while I was around, told them they were making me uncomfortable, etc. At one point, as I was in the bathroom, I overheard my close friend tell the other how terrible I was making them feel and how they felt like I was being judgmental and shaming their choices.
&#x200B;
We had a big falling out, but both put in a lot of effort and cooperation to work at fixing our relationship and being honest with one another about what we felt. Even nowadays though, we don't really talk about all the drug use in seriousness. They'll make jokes about being a junkie or a crackhead, so I think they do understand that they have a problem, but are bringing it to me as someone they can trust and act naturally around with that info, without fear of judgment or repercussion.
&#x200B;
I'm always encouraging them as diplomatically as I can to use more wisely, cut back, think about consequences and what certain cocktails will do to their mental health and body in the comedown period, but we can't ever really truly discuss it without starting an argument about why they aren't allowed to use without being accused of being an addict, how I'm being hypocritical, and haughty, and taking the moral high ground by being against "hard drugs" that I've never tried and don't really have much knowledge of -- effectively talking smack without knowing my shit.
Ultimately, I feel that my concern stems from a place of caring. I already know that they've got a history of addiction and self-destructive behaviour, and while I know it's not my place to make decisions for them as an adult, I feel like the best I can do for them as a good friend is not encourage anything that could spiral into further self-destruction, even if it means coming across as a nag or a party-pooper. But then why do I still feel so guilty?
TL;DR: AITA for bringing up my junkie friend's problems and constantly encouraging them to get clean -- or at least cleaner -- or am I just being judgmental and meddling in a very intimate problem they're fully aware of, and had the guts to let me in on, only to be hurt and patronised by my lecturing and unhelpful, uninformed mother-henning.
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
|
KpXAmACIvFl1rwBmL52s784clHAdhVLf
|
b4s4gu
| null |
AITA, my husband wants me to take on his EXSD from previous marriage.
|
Ok, I'm giving some background here,
My husband and I have been Together for 4 years, ups and downs as usual lol. He has 2 step children ss6 sd9. Ss has ALOT of developmental issues, and is all around just very difficult to care for, I love him still and we do the best we can. Sd typical sassy, lazy, disrespectful, we deal with this swiftly tho. We also have a BS2 how has major health issues, he has hydrocephalus, hes developmentally on track, but needs regular MRIS, surgerys, optometry appts due to his eye crossing from the elevated CF pressure on his brain, hes had spinal taps, and will be going for more on top of brain surgery, medication 2x daily and eye drops. Anyways, you get the idea. I am also pregnant.
I do all the care for these children, my husband works hard, he owns a construction business, and also gets paid salary for a job he goes into 1-2 times a month. I do not mind doing the majority of the care. I love these kids, and we have found a system that works for us!
Well, we have been getting along with BM lately. My husband does have a SD11 from the previous relationship whom we lost contact with due to her mothers HC days. My husband did basically raise her, but hasnt seen her in atleast 3 and a half years. The last time we saw her she was horrible, she bullied my SD to the point she had extremely bad self esteem, she did not listen at all. When her mother said she was never gonna see him again, it's bad to say but i was relieved.
The ex SD has gotten to a point where shes obviously going down a bad path due to her mothers parenting. Welllllllllll, my husband informed me today he texted BM saying if she would let him he would like to start keeping her now and again. Now let me remind you he works a demanding job, and is gone about 12-14 hours a day. I told him I absolutely refuse to raise another child, that for one I am not close to, I do not particularly like and that my hands are extremely full considering all things. We talked I continued to explain to him why this is completely unfair, and frankly I'm shocked he even said anything to me about it. I then told him that if this were to happen he will be doing all the care for her, no running off to work, this will be his commitment not mine. He ofcourse was pissed and I guess still is. I'm not budging. Am I the asshole here guys?
Oh also he did raise ex SD from the time she was 2 till she was like 6
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
hvGxHV5UUEvtZzNYOCm7knSQsJEtBhxl
|
b10mdw
|
{
"description": "flirting with a girl while in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 33
}
|
AITA for flirting with a girl while in a relationship
|
I didn't think I had done anything particularly bad until I mentioned this story to a friend who told me what I did was pretty shitty, so I thought I'd post it here to get a group consensus. Also, this is a throwaway account as a couple of people know my real username. So, for a bit of background info, I have been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years and I'm very happy with her. A few weeks ago I was in Waterloo tube station in London and made eye contact with an attractive girl while on an escalator, this happened a few more times with her smile growing bigger each time our eyes met. When we got off the escalator (she was a little ahead of me) she approached me and we began talking.
I considered telling her that I was already with someone, but I found it kind of fun to relive my days as a single man for a brief period, also, something like this has never happened to me before so it was quite exhilarating. After a couple of minutes she asked to exchange numbers which I did to keep up the illusion. We said goodbye and later that day she texted me, so I replied saying that I was already with someone and that I was sorry for misleading her. I also said she was very pretty, and if I was single I would have asked her out in an attempt not to hurt her feelings. She seemed to find it quite funny and texted back saying I had nothing to worry about, we haven't spoken since. I considered the whole thing to be no more than window-shopping, as I had absolutely no intention of cheating on my girlfriend. However, my friend said this was much worse than window shopping and a form of emotional cheating. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
VXFhD4gK6ps4hah9rM7ftDmyYHQ94Kz2
|
aww92g
|
{
"description": "holding a grudge for years which caused me to blank an old friend and made her cry",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for holding a grudge for years which caused me to blank an old friend and made her cry?
|
This happened a while ago and I never felt I was in the wrong but I’d like your perspective.
Growing up I lived on the same road as this girl, I’ll call her Gigi. For over 5 years off and on we played together and walked to school together. I say off and on cause we’d have a lot of fallings out over various things. Eventually when I was 13 I stopped talking to her altogether. I know I was 13 as the last straw was my birthday. The plan was 5 of us would go to the cinema and out for food. One by one all my friends cancelled on the day we were meeting for various reasons (Gigi said her sister stole her money, another was having a hair cut). Until there was one friend left. I was stood at the bus stop on the way to meet the one friend when Gigi and a boy walked past, laughing loudly about how I was still going to meet people and how stupid I was. It honestly didn’t click at the time. I went to town and stood there for over an hour, my final friend didn’t turn up nor did she answer her mobile or house phone. Then I remembered what Gigi had said. It has sounded like she knew there was no one to meet. I went home making sure that I didn’t go past Gigi’s house so she didn’t see me. Monday morning came, the girl who was getting her hair cut hadn’t had it cut. My friend who didn’t turn up gave me multiple excuses: slept at friends house, no alarm clock, not taken phone charger. (I mean we were meeting at 2 so how long did she sleep?) I said ok and went to sit with some other girls in my class. I never confronted any of the girls or Gigi, I never spoke to Gigi again and she never attempted to speak to me. Gigi ended up moving schools (but not houses). I heard from someone else because she claimed she was been bullied and the school was doing nothing to stop it ( she’d moved schools for this reason 2 times before).
Many years later I’m at the bus stop, Gigi and her mum are there also. Gigi looks at me, I look away. She sits near the front so I have to walk past her to a seat. On the bus Gigi looks upset, is almost crying and her mum is saying loudly about how it’s ok, some people are just fake and immature and that Gigi is better than that.
TLDR: am I the asshole for holding a grudge as she ruined my birthday, ignoring the old friend and making her cry?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b1pmob
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{
"description": "getting angry at my mom for disapproving the Amber Alert we are getting",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my Mom for disapproving the Amber Alert we are getting?
|
So I live in Calgary. We are currently getting an Amber Alert for a kid who was abducted in Edmonton, and is described as being in "imminent danger". It started around 10PM. When the Amber Alert went off on everyone's cell phones and the TV, it woke my mom up, who became really frustrated that they where sending out an alert for something this "petty".
I immediately disapproved, saying that if this kid's life is in danger, we should all be concerned. But my mom starting going on about how she has to work tomorrow and that she shouldn't be getting this notification. We go off on a tangent about this and she tells me that I should be more concerned for her than some random stranger. I tell her that I don't want to talk to her anymore and lock myself in my room. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b75wgk
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{
"description": "telling my girlfriend we would break up if she dropped out of school to travel around Europe for a couple months with her friend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend we would break up if she dropped out of school to travel around Europe for a couple months with her friend
|
My girlfriend just told me that school is exhausting her and she doesnt think shes going to go back next year and that shes going to save up this summer and travel around Europe. Im in the middle of graduate studies and she's 2 years into an undergrad. I told her that we would not date if she dropped out and left for two months. She flipped it around on me saying that she cant believe how little i care about this relationship if i could dump her like that. I told her the same thing but for leaving me to party in a different continent for two months. Im generally a pretty easy going guy but this struck a cord with me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
xbm627qBeCmjHVz2a4E0EnzXWGpdBJ4z
|
b9iur7
|
{
"description": "not liking to go out to Dinner with my in-laws because my Father in Law is a Dick to Waitstaff",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Because I Don’t Like To Go Out To Dinner With My In-laws Because My Father In Law Is A Dick To Waitstaff??
|
My husband and I have been married for almost a decade, and we have a 4 year old son.
My father in law is a functioning alcoholic. My mother in law is oblivious to this fact. She either is in complete denial or doesn’t care, either way, I don’t feel like I can tell her my issues.
Over the last 15 years, whenever we’ve gone out to dinner for a celebration (birthday, anniversaries, whatever), my father in law gets WASTED before we’re even at the restaurant (my mother in law drives, so no “worries” on that front).
There have been too many instances over the years that have left me embarrassed to even be with them. He’s a jerk to the wait staff, makes stupid jokes about their names, and even made a waitress cry one time because he mocked her teeth.
I always lag behind and leave an extra tip and let the staff know that I’m sorry for his behavior, and they always appreciate the gesture, but I know they’d rather not deal with an asshole!!
Now, we have our 4 year old son, who is becoming very impressionable. I’m getting more and more uncomfortable going out to dinner with my in-laws because of my father in laws behavior. My son adores my father in law (my dad passed away almost 10 years ago, so my father in law is the only grandpa he has) and I don’t want my son to think it’s OK to be a jerk to waitstaff.
I don’t know how to address this with them without them getting defensive about it (apparently, my husbands Godparents brought it up to my in-laws at one time and everyone was so offended that the relationship ended). My husband had approved them many times about the behavior and they refuse to even acknowledge that there is an issue.
So, AITA for not wanting to go to out to eat with my alcoholic father in law with my 4 year old son because it sets a bad example for him??
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
avv1y5
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{
"description": "being mad at my fiancee for lending her sister $700",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at my fiancee for lending her sister $700?
|
For context: her sister has 3 children and I adore the shit out of those kids. I would do anything for them. However their mom is a recovering addict (who relapsed last year and just restarted recovery) and is currently living with my fiancee's mom since her and her ex-husband lost their house. They've been there for a year.
In that year, it came to light that her husband was an abusive meth head and that is why he is an ex. That was 2 months ago. At this time, her sister has a new boyfriend who has already cheated on her and has to move out of his current living situation (with his ex) by tomorrow.
So these two are moving in together. However, they don't know how to save money and have none to move out with. Even though her sister is living rent free at her moms.
Her sister is constantly borrowing money. And every time she does, my fiancee asks how I feel about lending her money and every time I tell her I'm not comfortable with it as she never pays us back until tax time, this year we recieved a lump sum of over $2000 from her to cover what she owed.
So my fiancee asks me yesterday how I would feel about lending her $1000 to move out. That is a fuck ton of money to just throw away, in my eyes. She tells me that her boyfriend will pay us back next week from his taxes and until then we will hold on to the title of his car.
I told her that I wasn't comfortable with it and that if we lend money to her sister I feel as if we won't get it back. Especially if we rely on her boyfriend, who has already cheated on her sister, to pay it.
Today she calls me and says she lent them $700. I told her not to ask me anymore how I feel about lending her sister money if she isn't going to take my thoughts into account. She's now angry at me for being upset and not wanting to lend the money.
Half of that money is mine. We pool our incomes together because she is better at budgeting and stuff like that than I am.
Am I the asshole for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
awc46q
|
{
"description": "making sure my best friend isn't dying instead of staying home and doing dishes",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making sure my best friend isn't dying instead of staying home and doing dishes?
|
My boyfriend (m33) and I (f21) got into an argument today while at work (we work at the same place) because I told him I had to take my best friend (f21) to the hospital after work (we also work with her). He said that I have to learn to not dump my responsibilities just because someone asks me to be there for them and I shouldn't let people take advantage of me. That i need to stop being too naive and immature for him and that I had plans for tonight. The only plans we had was him watching tv and i was supposed to do all the laundry and dishes and write both our rent checks. Honestly idk.. am i really the asshole for making sure my friend isn't dying? She hit her head on a steel beam at work a couple months ago and has since then, several times, lost her vision in her left eye, becomes really dizzy and lightheaded and nauseos, she couldn't speak a full sentence to me at work today, she was shaking so bad.. she has a blood clotting disorder and a hit to the head like that she could've had a stroke. The longer it goes, the worse and higher chances for her having one. I just wanted to make sure she was ok and she asked me to go, and i offered to take her anyway. If i wouldn't have taken her, she wouldn't have went.. thankfully the doctor's don't think anything super serious is wrong, but it's still pretty dangerous for her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a6s4xt
|
{
"description": "buying Christmas gifts for people with an Amazon gift card",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I bought Christmas gifts for people with an Amazon gift card?
|
What it says on the tin. I've been curious about that. I'm a college student and I don't have a lot in the way of disposable income, but I still like giving my friends and family little gifts. This semester I quit my job because it's my senior year and I want to focus on school as much as possible, so I have even less income than I normally do. My family doesn't expect much from me gift wise, but I'm an adult now and not giving presents makes be feel kinda bad tbh. Like I'm still a kid lol.
However, I got an early Christmas gift from a grandma that was a 150$ amazon gift card. I was excited cause I thought I could totally buy my friends and family more gifts now.
But now I'm starting to second guess myself. I feel like it's kind of a grey area. Is it asshole-ish to buy presents for people with money that didn't actually come from your own pocket? My bf said it's fine, but others I've asked have had more mixed opinions.
So now I'm more just curious. What do you guys think? Would I be an asshole buying presents for people with the gift card since the presents didn't come from my bank account? Or does it not matter at the end of the day cause its the act of giving?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b6s4a3
|
{
"description": "not sharing people answers to homework",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not sharing people answers to homework?
|
Listen, I'm young, but I have a basic understanding of the world. Somewhat. You give and people give back.
Well...
Earlier in the year I decided, "Hey! I should be nice and share some answers with my classmates to lower their load." And genuinely alot of people thanked me for helping them out. I wouldn't say I'm a smartass but I know enough to get around with good understanding.
Well a couple of weeks ago I stopped. My real friends said I was being used and should monetize the work I was giving out. I did, but the people who used to copy me would go into my DM's and ask for answers. Most times I said no.
This reached the point of alot of peer pressure. People would gang up on me and call me assholes for not sharing HW. I was added to groupchats just so people could get homework.
I cracked.
But I stopped once again. I know I dug myself into this, but I'm still young and naive.
Am I the Asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b9re39
|
{
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for getting a tattoo with out me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my boyfriend for getting a tattoo with out me?
|
I know, sounds ridiculous but theres a reason. He went and got the tattoo yesterday. The night before we planned on going together over the weekend. He didnt even tell me he was going with out me and i found out he went through a facebook post. He said the guy had no more spots open but i feel as if he could have still told me he was going. He said nothing.
Also i usually sleep at his house everynight, but lastnight he told me no cause his kids are sick. But that was a lie and lied to me to hide the fact he went and got the tattoo. Plus i know his kids are fine. Hes saying its not a big deal and that im trying to control him when im not. I kinda feel betrayed. Am i over reacting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
JHcYQITFRVJvzEzNpRTf7Rd0g6lETQyU
|
a1pqsi
|
{
"description": "wanting to tell my Cuzin to shut the Fuck up about her marriage problems in front of my grandma while she(my grandma) is dealing with my grandfather slowly dying",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting to tell my Cuzin to Shut the Fuck up about her marriage problems in front of my grandma while she(my grandma) is dealing with my grandfather slowly dying.
|
My cuzin has only been married for 6 months but now she acts like she hates it and she wouldn’t stop talking about it in front of my grandma who is dealing with taking care of my grandfather who is dying from a host of medical problems.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
apBlEpwZCBulJPLBsipCxFfLo1ccHSbI
|
adhuiw
|
{
"description": "not telling my mom that my dad cheated on her",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not telling my mom that my dad cheated on her?
|
Context: things weren't going great between my parents and in August 2018 my dad took me to see someone, turns out that "someone" was his illegitimate son (my step-brother) which he had with his co-worker. It's fair to say I was really mad at him, and I still am. But for some dumb reason I decided to not tell my mom in Hope of keeping the family together for a little longer
In November she found out and she became really sad, it was honestly heartbreaking. No one in our family really talks anymore, but even worse I feel like I betrayed her by not telling her
Am I the asshole
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
SZMXovRKu836RxzxxbJCTP2HYPjD5v0c
|
akbp9g
|
{
"description": "wanting to move out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to move out
|
So to make things easier in this story I'll use these codes
KL:Kind Lady
OL: Other Lady
Me/I: Me
So about 7 months ago I moved to board with KL. I live in a different city to my family for study and just try and find whatever room works with what I can pay. She was nice and her sister OL lived there too.
Things were alright but after KL had family over Christmas I started noticing someone of my food has started to go missing. I haven't told KL yet but I think it's OL taking food or someone KL has over. I'm not too sure though as I'm at work a lot lately to be able to pay for rent.
But over Christmas and New Years because they were bank holidays my rent would be given a day later. And KL was asking me about it on Boxing Day going like hey havent gotten the rent yet. And considering KL had her family here as well and KL was asking about rent in front of this family, it made me probably seem like I dont pay rent. Now at this point I had never ever missed a week of rent. I still havent. And the fact that KL doubted me sorta hurt.
But over the last few weeks KL would have people over and they would be here for hours. Or better yet staying the night. But KL doesnt tell me. No heads up. The only thing I get told now is when KL gets food from some sort of event.
I don't tell KL when I have work cause I don't really see the point of telling KL if I am independent and get to work my own way.
But tonight especially. So someone comes over at 10pm. And I'm like ok weird for someone to be here so late but I'll leave it. KL is talking to this person for 3 hours. Moving to the kitchen. Which if we all know echoes a little which is really annoying.
But here's the thing. I have work early. And I wake up even earlier to catch the bus because I live a while away from work. KL knows what time I get up for these early shifts.
But literally at 1am KL turns on the hallway light. Which shines right into my room.
And another problem that has occurred is the laundry. Because I work weird hours I do my washing whenever I can. But the laundry isnt connected to any other room of the house. It's a separate little room out the backdoor. And lately KL has locked it. And I being the socially awkward person I am cant bring myself to ask KL or OL to unlock it cause it just seems weird asking to have access to a thing I should have access to considering I'm paying my rent and everything.
But yeah so I've been finding food and supplies being used so I keep most stuff in my room and I haven't confronted KL about it. But stuff that has gonna missing or used is stuff either I paid money for or stuff I got from other people who kindly gave me stuff.
Over Christmas I saw my family and got some little Christmas treats from them. I put the treats on my shelf in the fridge. The next thing I know they are gone completely.
Stuff from my shelf in the freezer has been moved and used. I just feel like people are using stuff that doesn't belong to them and they dont see what's wrong with it.
Here's the worst thing. I asked about getting a key to the laundry. KL basically said no even though she is out a lot of the time or OL is napping. KL just doesnt reply to my messages anymore and it makes me feel like I can't trust KL. I couldn't even contact KL after something happened on the way home from work one time. And considering KL is the one of the people who I should be able to talk to cause I'm living there and far away from my family, it just makes me feel like I just can't talk to people as a lot of people I know here live a while away.
I can't remember what broke everything completely the other day but I just knew I wanted to move. I've posted on pages asking if people know of a place and have actually found a place closer to work. I haven't told KL yet. And I'm actually sorting out moving in the next two weeks.
The problem is KL is either away somewhere or on the phone talking to someone and KL doesnt reply to my texts so that's pretty useless as well and I feel like this is something I need to tell KL in person. I plan on telling KL tomorrow after work but I feel bad about sorting out a place behind KL's back even though to KL there aren't any problems
TL;DR. KL was great but now no communication, my stuff going missing even though I pay a lot for it, and no access to a necessity I need.
So AITA for wanting to move out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
9fDv56rS6gvykSbsaNEEMbifIZr3KYmZ
|
aq78bg
|
{
"description": "posting about a classmate making me do stupid things than personally attacking her on Reddit for stalking my main account",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for posting about a classmate making me do stupid things than personally attacking her on Reddit for stalking my main account?
|
Burning this account later, text is mainly from main post
So recently I had a falling out with an classmate/friend/frenemy/etc. (F). (I’m M)
I forgot to bring home a homework assignment and I asked everyone in my contacts if they could send me a picture of it. This girl says she won’t give it unless I do something for her.
She asks me to do everything, EVERYTHING for her. Even her homework, and also for me to bend down on my knees and praise her.
I reluctantly say yes and so it all began.
She makes me do a bunch of shit that she should be doing, and made me praise her in front of my friends, who felt sorry.
I regret doing this, don’t want to tell teacher or shit is going to go down with principal (hates the facts students have social media, this is probably worse)
AITA for personally attacking her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
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|
a6rz2p
|
{
"description": "not tolerating my friends for being late to movies or cancelling in the last second",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not tolerating my friends for being late to movies or cancelling in the last second?
|
I like being on time and friends arriving after showtimes start or after trailers end angers me. I usually save the seats as soon as they are available, from a week to a month before the movie comes out. I think to myself why they are constantly late, sometimes with me getting out of my seats during the beginning of the movie. I react poorly (inside) to their tardiness.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3yC6bwlHWPXfi4nEplL0ST4VOBtu0L2y
|
ab338e
|
{
"description": "asking my husband's friend to stop coming to our house",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my husband's friend to stop coming to our house?
|
We bought a new house earlier this year. It was extremely dated (late 70's - 80's style) so I did a lot of work (by myself, for about two months) to update the house before we moved in. My husband's friend made several comments about how he liked the decor better before I painted/remodelled. After about 10-12 comments of that nature over the course of several weeks, I finally told him that he is quite welcome to decorate his own house in any manner he pleases and "thank you for voicing your opinion!"
He stopped making rude comments, but then he started nicking up the doorways with his bag each time he came over.
I asked my husband to speak with him about it because I really don't know him - he is a recently made friend my husband.
I thought it was resolved because he became "overly" nice for a week or two ... But it wasn't long before he started "teaching" me things about my job and eventually asked me for an introduction to a very busy colleague so he could make a complaint for the purpose of getting something from their company for free. When I told him that I didn't have the information he wanted, he accused me of gatekeeping and bullying him.
I asked my husband to ask his friend not to come over anymore.
The friend didn't even ask why. He just said "wow."
Am I the asshole?
I'm a woman, if that wasn't obvious.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
4U5YuJBJ2axVzTDp2Lfsj3IVni4CTRkx
|
ayj2mu
|
{
"description": "reporting my colleague for padding out their timesheets",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for reporting my colleague for padding out their timesheets?
|
I work in IT in a squad of 7-8 people in a big company. Most of the people in our squad are employees at the place we work, but I and my colleague (from here on 'Colleague') are contractors from another company that specialises in the type of IT that Colleague and I do. I’m slightly senior to Colleague but have no authority over them. We’re the only two people in the squad in our field, but we used to have a manager part-time in the same field.
Colleague came onto our team to do work for a new project and apparently did very well, so when project phase 1 finished Colleague’s contract was extended for bits and pieces until phase 2 started up properly. Both companies were fine with this. Since Colleague didn’t have much work to do, they began to pick up a bit of work in the application I work in, but I didn't have much that I could hand over to them at the time. Late last year I noticed they were leaving a little bit earlier than they should, but I let it go because I knew they didn't have much work.
A couple of months ago Colleague and I's manager left and I had to pick up a lot of *their* work, and we also got in more work that Colleague could pick up. Colleague doesn't like doing the sort of work we got, but it's definitely in our field and has to be done by one of the two of us. They’ll do it, slowly, if it’s assigned it to them in meetings and if I chase them up on it. But they’re lazy about it – they complain about the work, they won't follow up on anything by themselves, they’ll ask me about things I’ve explained several times before, and there’s always long gaps after they’ve done one bit of work before they ask if there's something else. Because I don’t manage Colleague and getting them to pick up work is a pain in the ass, I just do a lot of it myself. I do get recognition for having picked up the work I have, if that’s relevant - it's not like Colleague is stealing my credit. But I have a really high workload for my position and I’m pretty tired of it.
Over the last couple of months Colleague’s hours have also gotten worse. We have to bill 40 hours a week, but they usually come in around 8.30 and leave around 4 and take an hour for lunch. They also spend a lot of time on their phone and going to visit work friends, which is kind of a no-no for us as contractors. Nobody seems to have noticed the hours because the other people in our team either get in after Colleague or leave before them. I’ve never confronted Colleague about their hours, but I mention quite often to them and to our squad that they need more work.
Lately I’ve been considering complaining to our manager at my company about Colleague's hours. We don't live in a country with at-will employment so Colleague wouldn’t be fired on the spot, but we do swipe in and out to get into work, so they’d be caught if my company looked into it. I imagine they’d get into fairly serious trouble, and would either be replaced in my squad or have to pull their socks up. WIBTA for this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b35pck
|
{
"description": "asking my mother to celebrate mother's day with her the day after this year",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my mother to celebrate mother's day with her the day after this year?
|
I have a trip planned to LA for a friends wedding on May 11. It's a brunch so I'm leaving the night of to fly to SF where she has a work trip and is choosing to stay a bit longer so the 2 of us can hang out a bit, until the 15th. The one friend I plan on seeing works a stressful job full time, he and I like to rock climb together, so I know that we can climb outside (significantly preferred option) if it's the weekend, and only indoors if its a weekday night. It's Mother's Day that Sunday. A few details: I've never been a huge holiday celebrator in general, and if I had to go with my gut I don't think she minds that much either, to me I see no difference in celebrating the day(s) after. If she told me she wants to spend Sunday with me explicitly, I won't question it. She is also helping me get to SF, and seeing her is the reason I'm stopping by SF in the first place.
&#x200B;
WIBTA if I asked my mother if we can celebrate Mother's Day over the 3 days after Mother's Day.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
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NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
uReAc4P8EI8mU0a1no0fadG0cShZrnZD
|
9w1fcc
|
{
"description": "not letting my friends control the aux while I'm driving",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my friends control the aux while i'm driving?
|
So I personally like to follow the etiquette of "driver picks the music" so nobody is fighting over the aux when i'm driving but a couple of my friends keep complaining about how i never let them. I wouldn't mind so much if they played half decent music but it's always stupid garbage they find funny or entertaining or if they even asked nicely rather than bitching at me to let them play songs. Is listening to MY music while I'M DRIVING MY CAR too much to ask?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
8r9kzW01vvoL4BIyUCXAoiSUzu2flBEY
|
apauj1
|
{
"description": "not believing my apartment could be haunted",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Not Believing My Apartment Could Be Haunted?
|
So, here we go. My fiance and I have had a shared duplex apartment for 3 years. We live off an end street in a very quiet rural area. The biggest disruption is when a nearby field is used for a tri-city fair once a year, it is that kind of small town.
&#x200B;
My fiance thinks our place is haunted. I do not believe in ghosts. Over the years she has tried to bring me "proof" such as a the TV randomly turning on (pretty sure its either an Alexa issue or a Chromecast issue) or coming home to randomly opened cabinets (Are we 100% sure we didn't just forget to close them? Also, we own a cat, which is basically a furry ghost.)
&#x200B;
Anyways, last night she woke me up around 3 AM to tell me she saw our daughter come out of her room, and hide under our bed. This wouldn't be unusual, she is 2 years old and thinks hiding is the best thing in the world. I get up, check under the bed. No kid.
&#x200B;
A brief hunt leads me to the child's bedroom, where she is sounds asleep. I chuckle, and tell my fiance she must of dreamed it. She insisted she saw a little girl walk up to the bed, and hide under it. I assume she just has "sleep brain", as I do, and ignore this. I sleep.
&#x200B;
The next morning, she starts in on me for "making her feel crazy". She asks why I can't admit ghosts are real when she has shown me all this "proof." I tell I don't believe in ghosts, just like I don't believe in leprechauns or Big Foot. It is fine if SHE thinks they are real, but I don't, and we should agree to disagree.
&#x200B;
"WHAT ABOUT THE PROOF?" She yells. I tell her that I think everything can be explained scientifically, and she most likely dreamed the "ghost" last night. I tell her that if she presents me a peer-reviewed study in a reputable scientific journal, then I am open to reconsidering me views. She accuses me of "Gaslighting" her and says I am an asshole for trusting scientists and facts over her feelings. I got pissed, told her I didn't want to hear another word, and went to work.
&#x200B;
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
Cqv0CizlQagLUL7X2OtGqYFMuuOtZ631
|
b1ngs1
|
{
"description": "moving out of my apartment since my lease is being canceled",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving out of my apartment since my lease is being canceled.
|
So about 4 months ago my GF and I started to notice a pretty severe black mold problem in our apartment. I live with my girlfriend and 3 other roommates in a 3 bedroom apartment. The problem continued to worsen. The landlord consistently failed to remedy the situation. Finally, we decided enough was enough. I got with all my roommates and we discussed our options. We all came to agreement that everyone wanted out of the lease “at all costs”.
Luckily, I have a family member that is a lawyer and specializes in property and tenant disputes law. I told my roommates I could contact him and he would help us free of cost. They all agreed this was a great option.
After contacting my family member, he sent a letter to our landlord. Basically it gave them the legally required time to fix the problem or else our lease would be cancelled after a month from when they received the letter. It also said that it would be best for both parties if they just flat out let us out of the lease.
After this was explained to me, I went straight to my roommates. My GF and I showed them the letter and asked for their approval. Which they quickly gave us. I told them explicitly there is a chance the lease could end sooner, so look for a place no later than the end of the month. After that my family member sent off the letter.
A few weeks after this we receive notice the landlord is letting us out of the lease. We need to provide them with the date we will all vacate the apartment. As soon as we heard this we texted our roommates informing them of the situation. My GF and I had found an apartment for the end of the month, as I had informed the others to do as well. We told them we would be moving out at the end of the month and we asked them when they would like to vacate and end the lease. One roommate then told us it sounded like we had already made a plan and were leaving them “high and dry no matter what”. We then informed her the lease would not end when we left, but instead when they found a new place. In the past we have even offered for them to stay with us at our new place until they can relocate.
We also told her we would still help clean our part and assist them in moving as much as possible even if we leave first.
She is currently being distant and somewhat cold to us. We do not want to leave her high and dry in the slightest, but she believes we are. AITA?
tl;dr GF and I gave roommates notice of lease cancellation and told them when to expect to leave. They gave their approval. Lease cancellation comes along weeks later and they say we left them high and dry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
ZuMO8HQsABVGXN5fumO1Tfixlowq33W5
|
ay1aw9
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend because I find him unattractive",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up with my boyfriend because I find him unattractive?
|
We’ve been dating for over three years. He’s been nothing but amazing to me. Not only that, but his family and friends have been extremely welcoming and warm to me and I love being around them. He’s my first real boyfriend besides some flings. He’s loving, caring, sweet, funny, the list goes on and on.
The one thing stopping me from being completely content is that I’m just not attracted to him. In the beginning while it was new and fresh, things were exciting and I could overlook it.
But now that we’re coming up on the 4 year mark, I just don’t know what to do. I am in love with him.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
xf3XNxwRBNqmblmg5ogxPEO7tY6NPuH8
|
b65681
|
{
"description": "making an inappropriate joke in Build-a-bear? think girl I was dating ghosted me and I really liked her",
"pronormative_score": 67,
"contranormative_score": 82
}
|
AITA for making an inappropriate joke in Build-a-Bear? Think girl I was dating ghosted me and I really liked her.
|
I’d been dating a girl for a few weeks and I really liked her. We had good chemistry, both into taking it slow and we’ve only kissed and cuddled a bit. We share a dark sense of humor so maybe something else is going on but I wanted to ask her to see if my joke was really assholish.
We were walking around the mall and she saw that there was a Build-a-bear. She wanted to go in to see if she could get an outfit for her cousins bear. When we walked in, it was really crowded and I said “damn it’s way too busy in here to meet my soulmate today, let’s hit up Gap kids.”
The mood seemed to change a bit but she still hugged me goodbye and I thought we left on good terms. But I’ve been ghosted since then.
Am I the asshole for what I said?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 79,
"OTHER": 37,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 30,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 67,
"WRONG": 82
}
|
WRONG
|
Gcpti5JzE7JGnlvBkCB8ZVPC2n9vG5y4
|
axj8y0
| null |
AITA: Actively oppressing someone in our friend group
|
So I’ve had this friend group of about 6 guys total for about 7 years. We are all gamers and solely communicate though Xbox party chat, social media, and text. Now, another guy that was a friend of one of the friend group members begins playing Xbox with us.
At first, he seemed alright, but then he got too comfortable with us. For starters, he seems to have a problem with a particular member of the group. He would call him rude names and constantly try to annoy him.
His whole demeanor is flat out annoying and kills everyone’s vibe. He always seem to think everything is some sort of competition and claims that he is the “best at everything.” Also, he has this odd obsession of being an alpha. He constantly calls everyone a beta and is overly cocky. He is also very critical and judgmental over little things. Whenever he joins the Xbox party, it ruins the atmosphere of the group.
We’ve called him out on many of his antics, but he always claim that it is apart of his “Xbox flamboyant personality.” And he would also compare his odd behavior with my mine. I’ll admit, I’ve been an asshole to some of my friends in the past. But that was years ago, and I’ve changed ever since.
This leads to his next statement. He claims that it took me some years to change, so he should be allowed some years to change as well. He claims that he wants to change, but I’ve seen absolutely no progress. His arrogance is rooted from his weird obsession with being an alpha. He is very prideful and feels like he shouldn’t change, and he blames it on us being “sensitive.”
So lately, we’ve been kicking him out of our Xbox parties if he acts out. Sometimes well even leave it on Invite Only. I’ll sometimes talk down on him and call him a bad person. He has not joined our party as often anymore.
He has called me a bad person and asshole for my attitude towards him. So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
Z8XQBFOUTQFXPrAD409xcHL4hu6DNNtM
|
aoweq3
|
{
"description": "asking parent to go out after saying I didn't intend on it before",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for asking parent to go out after saying I didn't intend on it before?
|
I (18M) asked my father if I could take my vyvanse late (5pm) today to finish some schoolwork I have to do. He asked me if I was planning to go out, which I didn't, so he agreed to letting me take it on basis of finishing my schoolwork.
&#x200B;
I didn't plan on going out because a friend of mine was supposed to come over tonight. He knew this from days ago, and let me take the medication even after I clarified the intention of me staying in was because my friend planned on coming over. As soon as I go back to my room my friend texts me saying there is a possibility of having to cancel our plans. I figured I didn't want to stay home all night idly (because the work I have to finish can be done relatively quickly if I apply myself to it, which I plan to do). I went back to his room and asked if I could end up going out IF my friend did not come over. I barely managed to finish the sentence before he began hollering at me about being ridiculous for not keeping an agreement for more than 10 minutes. I asked him, extremely calmly, to not yell at me for asking for this on basis that I had agreed to not go out because I expected my plans to go through, however felt it'd be fair to establish a backup plan given the uncertainty.
&#x200B;
I was annoyed by his reaction because of the excessive yelling because my family is currently undergoing a therapy process which mainly revolves around being kinder to each other (my family's extremely dysfunctional/aggressive, especially when disagreeing with each other, and everybody basically reached their limits, so we collectively decided to seek out professional help) and that went completely out the window without much build-up or an extensive argument (as is common). I understand that he is in the right to be annoyed over me suddenly contradicting the terms I had agreed to in order to take the medication. I also understand that given my history of drug use (which he was fine with) and currently undergoing treatment for Bipolar Disorder II he is right to be concerned about me taking amphetamine-based medicine and going out, therefore implying taking other substances such as alcohol, which he is not opposed to but prohibited me from engaging in recreational drug use (admittedly I never was the most obedient teenager, so it's sensible for him to be suspicious).
&#x200B;
I truly had no intention of drinking, smoking or taking anything because I did drink some beers yesterday and am feeling quite exhausted, but simply wanted to meet up with my friends and meet new people tonight, but that's not something he'd believe in. I just think it was a bit unreasonable for him to get furious and attacking my integrity/reliability over me asking if he'd allow my plans to go out change given original circumstances for agreeing to his terms changed. If this was a matter of more serious commitment, I'd understand him. He still argues that he's allowed to be this angry. I really don't know if I was wrong to just ask.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
TL;DR: Asked dad to take meds to work. He said only if I wouldn't go out. Agreed because I had confirmed plans for a friend to visit me. Friend said plans MAY fail. Asked dad if I could go out should they failed. He got extremely angry, yelled and attacked my integrity. Family currently taking therapy to work on treating each other without so much aggression, which he maintains to not have breached any promises to adhere to it.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
QEzmebHXaTtzfFqoT2dt5zBNhMTRKzb5
|
b7ioyv
|
{
"description": "lying by omission to a girl about a guy (whom I previously dated) that she was interested in",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for lying by omission to a girl about a guy (whom I previously dated) that she was interested in?
|
This happened a while ago, but there's still tension, I've lost some friends, and I'm wondering if I was the asshole in the situation.
Two summers ago, I dated a guy named Owen. We lasted a month before he decided I wasn't right for him, and it was difficult since I had to see him everyday in class (it's a small professional program). Around this time, I started to become friends with Beth who later showed interest in him. They matched on Tinder and while I was still trying to get over Owen, I was very happy for Beth and gave her encouragement. I never told her about the fact that Owen and I went out, since I didn't want to deter her. One night at a party, Owen told Beth that we had gone out, and she wasn't very happy that I never told her.
&#x200B;
Eventually we had a talk, and I told her what had happened between us and why it didn't work out. Beth messaged me saying she wanted to give it a go with Owen, and I was absolutely okay with, even saying that I probably wasn't right for him, and she'd be a better match.
&#x200B;
The end of the summer term rolls around and Beth gets dumped for the same reasons as me--Owen can't commit. At an event, Beth's friend asks me what's going on, because Beth told her that I was "crazy". Beth later apologized for that comment, and only thought I was crazy because things between the two were going so well. It was only when she mentioned commitment that he dumped her.
&#x200B;
Fall (new term) comes around and Owen's friends tell me he's got a FWB who he met on Tinder. Beth doesn't know this, and is still interested in Owen as evidenced by their text messages and his coming over to hers to "talk." Beth is uncomfortable with me trying to rekindle our friendship, cancelling plans we made and barely talking to me. Part of me wants to tell her so she can get over him, but part of me thinks this is Owen's life and not my business.
&#x200B;
A few months later (Beth and Owen are not together), Beth finds out about his FWB, is super upset, and through a friend, knows that I knew about it all along. I told Owen that Beth has found out, and he regrets not telling her earlier. Needless to say, Beth does not like me, and neither do some of her friends. Reddit, give me your honest opinion, AITA?
&#x200B;
TLDR; Didn't tell my new friend Beth I dated a guy she was interested in, she finds out, tells her friend I'm crazy but gets dumped in the same way. He later gets a FWB who I knew about but Beth didn't. She was still into him, and was devastated when she found out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CuWDx7CMHYcFQiy9YkQl23J3gmdfdxSi
|
akkw6w
|
{
"description": "being mad at someone for not getting me food",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being mad at someone for not getting me food??
|
Backstory
Me: a 17 y/o theatre nerd posting about this on mobile, sorry if the formatting gets weird
Possible Asshole (PA): girl in the grade above me, also a theatre nerd. She has been getting on my nerves recently by exaggerating events that we both were present at to make herself seem cooler or whatever. She also has been doing this thing where if we work on something together and it gets messed up, then she’ll say “oh I knew that would happen”. Then why didn’t you say anything!! It just is really insincere.
Yesterday we were both at a build for the show, working really hard to construct the set. I had woken up with a swollen throat and a throbbing headache. Not feeling amazing to say the least. In my rush to get to the build, I had only grabbed a poptart and some water; meaning by the time we broke for lunch, I was FIENDING for some real food. PA and I are friends, so I asked her what she was doing for lunch.
Me: I have a gift card to Panera and could really use some real food.
PA: I was craving Panera too! I’ll drive there
Me: Perfect! Would you pick me up our usual?
At this point it is important to note two things. 1) she is also 17, and in my state a 17 y/o is not legally allowed to drive more than other 1 person. Plenty of people break this law but I got into a car crash a few months ago and have been trying to play it safe. 2) when I say “our usual” I mean that she has both picked up panera for me before AND we get the same thing as each other. It wasn’t like she had to remember anything different.
I handed her my gift card which had $25 on it and told her she could use some of it but I’d prefer to have some money on it for next time since our order costs about $10 each. She agreed, and then gathered the group of people that were going with her (4 other people).
It’s about 20 minutes into our hour long break and I’m feeling okay. I continued doing work (cleaning up from the pre lunch activities) while I waited for her to come back. As I’m sweeping up I get a call from her
PA: Heyyyyyy
Me: What’s up?
Her: So everyone in the car voted and we’e going to Wendy’s.
Me: Really? But I gave you my gift card!
Her: Sorry, everyone voted and I believe in democracy. Do you want anything from Wendy’s?
Me: No, I’m lactose intolerant and don’t have cash. Plus I wanted real food.
PA: Sorry. Sure you don’t want anything? Bye then*hangs up*
Here’s where I start getting frustrated, because Wendy’s is 10 minutes away without traffic and panera is 5 minutes away with traffic. Plus there’s a Burger King in the same lot as Panera so they could have gotten pretty much the same thing there. I ask my sister to go out to get it since she has a longer lunch break and panera is 15 minutes walking distance so I wouldn’t have made it back in time.
PA returns with 20 minutes to eat and while I sit moping, waiting for my sister. One of the girls who went with PA overheard me in a hangry rant to someone else there and informed me that PA was the one to bring up Wendy’s and everyone was pretty indifferent to it. This particular passenger quietly preferred Burger King because she wanted to get back quicker, but a ride’s a ride.
I wander over to where PA’s group is to get my gift card back and to understand why she did me dirty. This group is basically her cult followers as they are two years younger and can’t drive so they look up to her like a god. They repeat the line of “democracy man” back to me, but PA is not here to defend herself.
In fact I didn’t see her at all after lunch. Apparently she left without talking to me or giving me my gift card back. By the time my sister returned with my lunch, the break was well over.
I have little faith that I’ll ever see that gift card again because I lent her two books for a research project and she gave them back to me 2 years later after vigorous prompting from me for about 1 and a half years.
Am I the Asshole here? Am I justified in thinking she should give me my gift card and a sincere apology? How should I approach the conversation of giving my gift card back in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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{
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|
WRONG
|
708ltuwm6W25eHiy7ScFqOlaw6wJhDzn
|
b96dqd
|
{
"description": "speaking up to a teacher about what I believe is malpractice",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I speak up to a teacher about what I believe is malpractice?
|
TLDR: Teacher gave more opportunity to another student and I want to tell her how she doesnt practice what she teaches and that she favors her favorite students which is wrong.
I am currently in high school and today I had philosophy class. I know this will sound like a very small thing but whatever. We started listening to a lecture video in class, we were supposed to take notes. We weren't able to finish the video so we were assigned to finish the lecture in our house (7 minutes left of lecture). Two days later (today), we had to turn in our notes. As the teacher asked for our assignment, she said that if we failed to include something from the last 7 minutes of the lecture she would assume we didn't do our homework, so she would deduct 3 points (out of 10) from our assignment grade. Upon hearing this, one of the girls (who had already turned in her work), who is almost definitely the teacher's favorite student, asks if she can check "something" in her notes. The teacher already had our papers with her and she gave back the girl's paper to her. She seemed somewhat reluctant as if she knew she was doing wrong yet she still did it. She obviously (I assume its obvious) knew the girl would fix her paper so she would not be deducted 3 points. She was the only person that did it. She then returns her paper. The teacher then repeats that she will deduct 3 points if we fail to mention a topic from the 7 minutes of the lecture. I ask her, for my own amusement, if we can fix our notes just like the girl did, and she said no. I must note that I never referenced the girl, I asked as if the girl had never done that. I really feel im on the right side because she teaches us so many things about philosophy that she never fucking practices. For example, she always tells us her opinion that equality of opportunity is good, yet she clearly favors her favorite student. I want to mention this to her in our next class (after class, not during, just me and her) and I would like to tell her this not to deduct 3 points from the girl, but rather because I find it very unfair that she acts like that, and also the fact that she doesn't practice what she teacher. So I am sort of conflicted right now and I know this is something very small but I cant seem to stop thinking that I should act on what I believe is morally right.
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&#x200B;
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
|
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|
app7fs
|
{
"description": "rejecting a guy twice and not feeling guilty",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for rejecting a guy twice and not feeling guilty?
|
I created an account just for this, I hope I don't mess anything up.
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Anyway, some background information. This school year I met this group of 4 people during my first-period class. Besides me, there is only one other girl. I'm a pretty shy person, so this was a big deal to me (even though we have only known each other for about a week).
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Fast forward to around mid-fall and the guy in question asks me out. I reject him (obviously), because I have not known him for very long and I only think of him as a friend. My other friends are like, "dude wtf. You guys would make such a cute couple." I tell them the reason above, and I just assumed we would move on. The guy (let's call him "G") won't even speak to me or look me in the eye. It's weird at first, but I get used to it.
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Now it's the present time. G has asked me out again (even though after the first rejection he has not even spoken to me face to face), being egged on by the other boys in the group. Although this time, he asks me out in our Snapchat group chat. With all the other members in the chat. I privately text him my rejection. After that, I kinda logged off Snapchat and went to do my own thing. The only other girl in the group texts me and tells me everyone in our group knows I rejected G and that he feels heartbroken. No surprise there, they were bound to find out. Then she texts me that G is considering leaving our group because of it. I respond: "I just don't like him that way and that's G's problem if he doesn't understand." She responds "I understand, but you don't have to act like an asshole about it."
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So AITA in this situation? Should I have been nicer about it?
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Btw, 2 of the 4 members are still mad at me. The girl is over it and did say that I can make my own choices on who to date.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
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|
ac1w25
|
{
"description": "making my parents pay for my dental treatment/surgery",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA for making my parents pay for my dental treatment/surgery?
|
Ive had crooked teeth since I was younger and no matter how many times I told my parents instead of getting me a gift for christmas that I’d like braces, I never got them. Well now I have a dis aligned jaw causing me to have really bad headaches, joint problems and sensitive teeth and I want to see a doctor asap about what my options are. Im 18, I dont have a job, Im still going to school part time, and probably will get FAFSA for school, WIBTA for making my parents pay for all this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
|
WRONG
|
NBAOASBHpWcvDCOEv9QmQFCc2Hn7nCv6
|
a651cg
|
{
"description": "telling the police to jog on over their request for an ip",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling the police to jog on over their request for an IP?
|
I am based in America and have had the English plod contact me because on my server there is someone who has made hate speech and such.
Hate speech isn't a crime in the USA and so I am under no obligation to help the police. In fact, I told them I will certainly not be helping them with their fascist diktat.
I have also said that if they bother me again I will be making an official complaint about them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
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|
b6cwxg
|
{
"description": "not watching to go to my cousins wedding because it's to much trouble",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA not watching to go to my cousins wedding because it’s to much trouble?
|
Recently was invited to my cousins wedding and it seemed very spur of the moment less then 30 days out/ I’m in the military and I would have to do paper work to take leave to go to it but didn’t feel like it. Some other reasons I didn’t want to go is I didn’t have anything to wear except my dress uniform (which both him and the bride were ok with) but I still felt like it was very inappropriate to wear so all of these factors made me decide not to go. So I told him I was unable to get leave to go. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
JT0lUWkW1KgBTNEpiDtrq3YHBUzdIIUP
|
9tci24
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut off my friends for lying to me and going on a trip that meant a lot to me without me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut off my friends for lying to me and going on a trip that meant a lot to me without me?
|
This story starts a few months ago. Basically a good friend of mine was going down to Parris Island, South Carolina for Marine Corps boot camp. I was talking to a mutual friend who said she was going down in 3 months for the graduation. I have wanted to be a Marine since I was 6, and was very close to joining before I was medically disqualified. So, she knew how much I loved the Marine Corps and invited me to come along. A few days ago, she told me that they probably aren't going anymore because her mother is in the hospital and her car wouldn't fit everyone. So basically, she made it sound like the trip was off. She was apologizing, saying how she knew it meant a lot to me, but she just didn't feel right leaving her mom right now. I was more than understanding, was telling her she didn't need to apologize, just making sure she knew it wasn't her fault. When I was getting out of class today, I checked snapchat and on her story, she was in the car with the rest of the people who were going and was saying "Roadtrip crew!"
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I've been friends with the person graduating from bootcamp since 1st grade, while the others have only known her for about 3/4 years. I'm really considering just cutting those who went out of my life because not just did they lie about something they knew meant the world to me, they don't consider me important enough to bring with them. Am I an asshole for not wanting to have anything to do with them anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
9C0jbvjWRqJviARf4IHAODmUkNzCobiS
|
a1osps
| null |
AITA For: Coach and teammates ridicule me for prioritizing performance with Pentatonix over track practice
|
So Pentatonix reached out to my high school select choir to open for them this Saturday, December 1st. This is an enormous honor for us and we never expected it.
They are performing at the Turning Stone Casino on December 1st and this is the week of the event so obviously our choral instructor is going to be pretty stressed out because of it. It is reasonable that he would want to hold extended rehearsals this week to make sure that we were ready for it. Monday-Wednesday this week we had rehearsal from 3-5.
The only problem with this is that Indoor Track practice is also from 3-5. We found out about these extended rehearsals this past weekend and I emailed my coach saying that i would have to miss practice for these rehearsals, as opening for Pentatonix is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We had rehearsal as planned and everything went great. Awesome. Today when i show up to practice, my coach asks where I've been. I tell him I emailed him and that I have proof on my phone. After denying I have proof and saying he doesn't care to see it, I explain to him the contents of the email. My coach is notorious for picking fights with his athletes about stupid shit, but this is a little ridiculous. He then tells me in front of all my teammates that I'm a disappointment to him and the rest of my teammates and said that its absurd that i would think that missing practice for a select choir rehearsal is okay.
Maybe I'm being selfish for wanting to have a great opening for Pentatonix but I feel like this is an amazing opportunity and he Isn't able to/Isn't willing to understand that. Not to mention my friends and teammates have bandwagon-ed with him on the matter and have taken to saying I'm too sensitive and that I should focus more on running.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
a51yze
|
{
"description": "complaining to the manager about a lady who cut in front of me in line but said she had a right to because she has a service dog",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for complaining to the manager about a lady who cut in front of me in line but said she had a right to because she has a service dog
|
So I was just at the grocery store in line for self checkout. I’m next in line and as a lady is walking away from a register I start to walk towards it and a lady, her husband, and her service dog dart past me and get to the register first. I say “excuse me I was next in line” to which the lady responds “oh I have a service dog so I’m allowed to go first” then she turned around and started scanning her items. I said “just because you have a service dog doesn’t mean you’re more privileged to scan your items first”. If she was getting medicine, or some type of emergency needs I would have completely understood and let them go first. But they weren’t. They were buying groceries. Then she said “oh, what are you going to do? Tell on me?” I said yes and luckily a manager was about 50 ft away. I called her over and told her what happened. The manager asked her if she did that and all the lady said was “I have a service dog!! I can’t believe you tattled on me!” The manager politely asked her to never do that again, she would remember her and the service dog and next time would ask them to leave.
So I stood there and then the self check right next to hers became available. So I went next to her and she made another comment about how I’m immature and have no sympathy for people. I just smiled and didn’t say a word. Also, let me mention that her husband never said a single word then entire time and had the dog’s leash under his shoe instead of holding it! I truly believed these people take advantage of having a service dog, treat the dog like shit, and use it for sympathy and to get what they want. I also took a picture of him standing on the dogs leash, just to be petty.
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
rhEzg5CXhWoWTjtGPnNGqchEiQp5oZtn
|
ao3twr
|
{
"description": "wanting to adopt in the future",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to adopt in the future?
|
Hi,
I'm a 20 year old male, single child of parents that divorced when I was 2, so I feel like I understand (to an extent) the issues of orphans and sympathize with them.
That being said, I had a conversation with family where they were asking about "any new girlfriends?" and we eventually got to the topic of kids, where I said I'd rather adopt in the future since I find it selfish to bring a new child into the world when so many go unloved.
This annoyed my mom who didn't want her blood line to end with me (she's also an only child), and other family members said that it wouldn't be fair if ever I got married since "I can't understand what it's like to be a mother" and I shouldn't take that right away from my future wife.
So AITA? I thought I was rather noble for opting to help less fortunate children, but maybe not?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
1LPfPnxhFbGnH946GO2cQTai6vTdBtXu
|
au4fpo
| null |
AITA for a dead mom joke?
|
I'm in high school, and awhile ago, I got into some trouble. That's another story, but my dad ended up shaving my head practically bald.
As you can imagine, this was pretty embarrassing. I mean, the jokes, looks, people pulling off my hood and the like; none of it anybody would want to go through.
All of it made me EXTREMELY angry at the time. I felt like fighting somebody, or making fun of other people which I restrained from most of the time.
But, one time I did push back left me with mixed feelings as to whether I should've felt guilty about it or not. I was talking with one of my friends when this guy interrupted us.
Friend - . . . when your hair grows back . . .
Other Guy - HAhaAHhAHh, what hair?
People around started laughing but I wasn't. Now, this guy's mom had just died of cancer no more than 3 weeks ago, and I knew that. So then for a second, there was one of those situations like :
"I can say something but I won't."
"Say it bro."
"Nah."
"No, I wanna hear."
And I just say, "What mom?" I can immediately tell the guy is hurt, and other people around are a little bit taken aback by what I said. But, it actually made me feel a little bit better in a weird way.
I want to know, AITA for being sick of being made fun of and making a cruel joke?
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|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
8sE4w4L9qsnodziRr5DeaA0zP5vxZio8
|
b89wb6
|
{
"description": "putting school over family",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for putting school over family
|
A little background, I'm in college full time for an engineering degree. Not a super difficult workload (yet), but enough that most of my time is dedicated to studying. I keep a close eye on my graduation requirements and do my best to stay ahead of the 8-ball as far as credits and required courses. I have only a couple critical classes I need to take to graduate, and I'm really buckling down to make it a quick and successful final year.
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That all said, this summer my parents have a family reunion of sorts. Mostly just my parents and all of our siblings/step siblings (all of whom are grown adults). They have been planning this small family vacation for a couple of months now and asked early on for us to ask off of work, school, etc for about two weeks. This was basically no problem for me from a work perspective, as a work at a job that allows me a lax schedule so as to spend a lot of my time on school. HOWEVER, the school I attend has only one professor for one of my final classes, an advanced calculus class. Not only this, but he also teaches several other lower level maths, meaning his scheduling and seating for the advanced calc class is limited. (Offered 1 time during summer during the entire academic year). The class is 3 days a week for an hour and a half a piece. (You can probably see where this is going, but I'll continue regardless.)
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My options to take this class are as follows: 1) Take the class this summer at the school I attend currently. This will keep me on time to graduate and cost me nothing extra as financial aid will cover the cost. 2) Wait and take the class next semester as a transient student at another school an hour away at out of state tuition costs out of my own pocket. Financially, this will ruin me but I will only be behind a semester 3) Forego the class for a year and take it next summer, essentially putting my academics on hold for a year. I would really rather not do this, but with family matters it gets touchy, obviously.
&#x200B;
Personally, I am heavily leaning towards option 1, as the other options would cost me time or money that I would prefer not to spend. However, I'm sure my parents would be disappointed I wouldn't be able to attend the get-together and might not be pleased at my decision. I'm at a loss for what I should do.
&#x200B;
Tl;dr Would I be an asshole for ditching a family vacation to take an important required class for my degree?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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Memd0IOu8gn4RoI8UjK1uHzPFdb1nzL5
|
avoy1v
| null |
AITA: My gf’s ex-bf wrecked her door and she is moving, thus losing her deposit. I want him to pay for it through a ruse.
|
So my gf lives in a small studio and is moving a great distance.. across the hall!
In her previous relationship, her ex sometimes got a little.. angry. But that’s a story for another time. The point here is, he punched a hole/dent into a door, and since she’s moving out she will at least lose her deposit and probably more due to the housing company being absolute donkeys.
He’s refusing to pay for it. Not even the deposit, even when she paid loads for him when they were together (he was a student and she had a job).
So yesterday, we were chilling with her neighbour, and me and him had a couple beers. He knows about the situation, and being a little tipsy we of course had the single best idea ever: we’re just fixing the door. We took off some chips to match the colour, we’re buying some wood filler, the whole shabang. It’s gonna be great.
Then, I had the (in my opinion) GREAT idea, to tell the ex-bf that the housing company had swung by after the new tenant saw the door, and told my gf the door had to be replaced and she’d have to pay for it. Understandable, there is a hole in the door. So, being a little more drunk now, we just took out the entire door and put it in her new appartment. She now has no bathroom door, and a convincing story. We even considered lending another door from another friend across the hall and putting it in for a picture. A lie has gotta be convincing, right? As an added advantage, the extra money can be used to paint her new appartment, buying groceries etc, which I think is fair, since he leeched off her for some years.
AITA for kind of using him and lying about the door being replaced (even though it really would be since there is a hole in it) and having him pay for it?
TL;DR: gf’s ex-bf broke her door, she’s moving and the door is still wrecked. Neighbour and I took out the door and want to lie to make him pay for it.
Note: there are no pictures of the door included since it’s currently in her neighbours appartment, sorry!
|
HISTORICAL
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ZMUaEesEe2d14CSG2rEVa9OIpuuNFeF3
|
apv9zp
| null |
AITA in this situation? Not admitting I handled it perfectly, but I think I did the best I could given the situation.
|
So I work in a bistro style NYC restaurant. The customers who generally come in are tourists, famous people and businessmen with their mistresses.
Today I had, what I would personally label, as a jersey couple who’d come in for lunch. They had the look of a couple who were more hungry for drama than for food. When they first sat down they ordered immediately. They wanted no bread in anything but extra cheese and butter because they were on the KETO diet. I joked with them and was overall pleasant. They said they come all the time.They ordered Diet Coke and ice tea with lots of Splenda.
When their soup came out they claimed the soup was cold (it was not) and that it didn’t have enough cheese. No problem, we make a new one. Their food came out and the burger was missing cheese. I admit, my mistake. I forgot to ring it with cheese, but also a simple fix. But you could see the fire brewing in their eyes. I sent a manager over just to be safe. All is well.
Throughout the meal, they ordered four Diet cokes and four ice teas. Every time I asked them if they’d care for another, I never offered a refill. I work in nyc. A concerned customer generally asks or if someone pitches a fit, we comp it. We’re a $$$ restaurant. Explaining every time is tedious and honestly kind of rude on my part. If a guest orders something based on assumption the best I’ve been taught to do is bring a menu and “clarify” what they wanted by pointing to the item (the price) so you don’t embarrass people. No one explains the no refill policy where I work. It’s just a given.
At the end of the meal I dropped the check and we will now refer to the rude man as RM, my general manager as GM, and me as Me.
RM: if I’d have known you were going to charge for every Diet Coke my daughter wouldn’t have had 4 of them.
Me: I’m so sorry sir. It is our policy to charge for every soda.
RM: you should have told me. It’s your job. I think you should have known better.
Me: I really do apologize. Would you like to speak to a manager?
RM: (now raising his voice) no, I wanna speak to you! You did not do your job. We come here all the time and you should have told us you were charging us so much.
Me: sir, I am very sorry. If you come here all the time our policy hasn’t changed.
RM: (now fuming) listen! You should have told us and that’s not right! (Throws money at me)
so naturally I go grab my GM. He takes off the diet cokes and hands the guy the new check. They pay and leave looking smug.
My GM pulls me aside after my shift asking to talk to me.
GM: did you tell this man that if he comes here all the time he should know better?
Me: I didn’t say it like that. I tried to be as polite as I could. I told him that I’m sorry and offered a manager. I said that if he comes here all the time our policy hasn’t changed.
GM: that was rude. I don’t think that was the polite way to handle this.
Me: he was being condescending and berating me. I gave him a political answer.
GM: I will now have to call him and apologize personally on your behalf.
Me: speechless...
What are your thoughts? Personally, I think I handled it the best I could given that the man just wanted to yell at me. He wanted to punish me like a child and I tried to give him an honest answer. If you come all the time, you’d have known this.
**Edit: I told another manager about this situation and he agreed with me wholeheartedly laughing it off calling the guy a prick. That same manager was with me in my meeting with the GM and didn’t say a word. And I feel I should mention I was on hour 9 out of 11 of my day.
**Edit 2: I’m not denying I made a mistake. I’m human. I don’t know how to handle being treated like shit perfectly every time. I didn’t say what I said to teach the guy a lesson. It was the best I could come up with in the moment apart from I’m sorry and let me get a manager.
I didn’t offer Diet Coke to be cruel, I was just trying to be helpful. I don’t ever have problems with the no notice of free Diet Coke refills because it’s on our menu. I will say, I’m team no free refills. I used to work for an Olive Garden and gluttony is real. Just asking for thoughts on the matter.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
|
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|
au9bkj
|
{
"description": "making an obese man pay me cash to take up part of my seat on a long flight",
"pronormative_score": 287,
"contranormative_score": 239
}
|
AITA for making an obese man pay me cash to take up part of my seat on a long flight?
|
So this month I was flying across the country on a long 5 hour flight, which I had booked and seats selected for. I specifically chose an aisle seat in a row of two, so no middle seat — just the aisle and window.
Well, a very obese man boards and I can tell instantly he is going to have a tough time fitting in any of the seats. I assume maybe he bought two hence why he’s even attempting to hoard. I’m mentally crossing my fingers he’s not next to me, but sure enough he ends up pointing to the window seat next to me to let him in.
I get up and let him in politely, wanting to at least give him a chance. Well, he sits down and is easily seeping into about 1/3 of my seat. I sit down and am pressed up against him, making me uncomfortable. After a minute, I decided to be upfront and tell him:
“Sir, I’m sorry but this situation is not working for me, you’re taking up quite a bit of my seat”.
He wasn’t rude, but sort of gave me a shrug as if there’s not nothing he can do — although he did sort of tighten his arms in to try and be narrower. It just wasn’t enough, though. He still was overhanging over the armrest about 1/4th into my seat even when squeezing his arms in. I’m talking about fully hanging over the armrest into my seat.
I end up stopping a flight attendant and ask her what can be done about the situation. She instantly tells him that he is likely going to need to purchase another seat. She goes to the front and comes back saying that there aren’t any open seats on this flight, so there wasn’t a way to move people so he could have two. This causes a very awkward silence.
The guy seemed embarrassed and didn’t want to get up. He mentioned how he can’t wait for a later flight. I felt bad for him but I was also thinking about my own comfort on the long flight — the comfort I paid for. The flight attendant tells him that unless someone on the flight agrees to let him take up part of their seat, he’ll need to book another flight. The guy seems really flustered by this ultimatum, and here’s where I made my offer.
I told the guy, “Look, I’ll put up with this if you give me $150 — that’s half the cost of this flight and that would compensate me enough for the circumstances.
He instantly agrees, pulls out cash and pays me. He even told me he appreciated it.
Well the people sitting behind me (who keep in mind didn’t volunteer to sit by him) were making under their breath comments about me being an asshole for doing that. I just ignored them and put the cash in my wallet.
From my perspective, I gave the guy a valid option to stay on the flight and I was compensated for literally having only 75% of my seat max (let alone the feeling of a person’s body pressed against you involuntarily). A win-win. He wasn’t angry at all, if anything he seemed quite relieved we could work it out privately.
After the flight, the couple behind me glared at me but I ignored them. This leads me to beg the question, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 202,
"OTHER": 211,
"EVERYBODY": 37,
"NOBODY": 76,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 287,
"WRONG": 239
}
|
RIGHT
|
WPQj385ewWAvMOpPDcGKHV2Jc0PggvOg
|
abys6k
|
{
"description": "being mad at my boyfriend for being so pissed about his well paying job",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being mad at my boyfriend for being so pissed about his well paying job?
|
Obligatory Mobile format sorry statement
My boyfriend works for his brother as a sysadmin for an integrated dialer/CRM . His work day consists of fixing dialers and servers when they crash, and general IT work with those clients. (I'm not too much of a techie so I don't know how to put it) . He gets paid super well too! 3k plus some and since we live with his brother he has a shit ton of liquid income to spend on League and Steam and whatever he wants.
During the work day I can't really talk to him because he's automatically pissed off at every little thing the clients, his brother and the intern do. He mentioned a couple of times about quitting and it scared me because I don't have the same kind of income he has. I make pennies compared to him. If I could I'd take his job because I grew up on hand-me-downs and dinner-less nights as a kid. Then we go to bed together and he's already pissed off because he thinks about the work he has to wake up to.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
KJ6v7uBPZ359OTVesuQZDW9TDEf2xHZ6
|
antcfs
| null |
AITA todays my day off
|
This is going to be simi long but I'll but a TLDRnat the end. I have the day off of work but my girlfriend doesn't this morning I got up before her fed our shrimp colony and dog and let our dog out. By the time she woke up I was done with that stuff and put coffee on. We talked for a few mins while eating some breakfast. After that I went and laid back down because I enjoy listening to the filter on the shrimp tank. She comes in and asks me to take her to work because her car is getting worked on. (Note she has driven my car many times and has done just fine) I tell her no and to just take mine. Now she's been icing me out all day. (Checked in on her 20 mins after she left to make sure she got there and again at lunch)
TLDR it's my day off and I didn't wanna drive my girlfriend to work now she's icing me out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
y7kIb6F0vOsvPxtjntn491I15HKyl7nQ
|
az6um5
|
{
"description": "allowing my dog to play with the stuffed animal my ex-boyfriend gave to me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I allowed my dog to play with the stuffed animal my ex-boyfriend gave to me?
|
I'll try to give you guys some info about how the relationship was, just in case you need it.
So, my ex and I separated a long time ago, and it was a short relationship. Long story, but to sum it up, we were arguing a lot more than usual, so I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and I separated.
After that, he even sent me some audios talking about how I was the cause that the relationship ended. He realized he acted wrong and asked for apologies, and I forgave him, although I found the audios to be unnecessarily harsh (some of the audios were, like, 10 minutes long, just to talk about how I screwed things up, and all the other audios were like that)
We still talk sometimes, we're in the same school after all, but it's obviously not as constant as before.
Now, to the main issue.
He bought me the stuffed animal (it's one of those beanie boos, you know?) while we were still dating. I'm not that keen on stuffed animals, so I even asked at the time if he would find it bad if I let my dog play with it (because she loved the thing!), and at the time he said that yeah, he would find it bad, so I respected that and just let the stuffed animal in my bedroom. It's still there to this day.
There are times when it falls, and my dog grabs it, and she's just so enthusiastic about it! She loves the thing, and if it was up to me she could totally have it, but I'm afraid that giving it to her would be a dick move, like as if I was despising the present.
It's mine now, so I could do whatever I wanted with it, especially now that we're no longer together. But do you guys think it's disrespectful? Things may have gone south for us, but I don't want to act like as if I don't care about the presents. I mean, they symbolized love after all, or something close to it.
I know it's a silly question, but it was my first relationship, I really am clueless over this matter haha, so if you guys could help me with that, I would really appreciate it ^^
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7kqY75Z1AGTxYF4NkJxuRbwuz4TMu2hb
|
9xkm79
|
{
"description": "not accepting a monthly-paid subscription",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not accepting a monthly-paid subscription?
|
Context:
both me and one of my dearest friends enjoy a service that requires a monthly fee. It's a game, and we enjoying thoroughly the time we spend on it. She has the possibility to provide for herself, while I struggle with it, so she offered to take charge of my monthly payment as well. I kept saying no for a while, and she said that my pride is preventing some enjoyable time together since she would have no problems paying my subscription as well (I have no reasons to doubt this statement, I completely trust her).
I feel like a parasite by accepting, I feel like an asshole by non accepting.
AITA for not accepting a monthly-paid subscription to spend quality with people I love?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KUDMQxMpWRwIErTOzyC0f074NmqZ2CSM
|
am2az8
|
{
"description": "choosing visiting Japan for the first time rather than live longer",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for choosing visiting Japan for the first time rather than live longer?
|
Hello, all. I've been wanting to get this out of my chest for a while now and I found this sub in which I think this belongs to. Also, sorry for the broken English.
&#x200B;
So, three years ago I started experiencing small but noticeable twinges on my male parts, mostly the nuts. I simply decided to ignore them given that my sexual life at that time was really active (Married, sex only with wife) and my drinking habits were also heavy, so I thought that the reason for the twinges were either an infection or something that I decided to threat on my own taking some pills I found on my medication drawer.
Time passed by and 3yrs fwd (Today's day) pain began to grow to other parts: vas deferens, prostate, itchy rectum, night sweats, pains in the lower parts of my vertebrae and other symptoms. The worst of it all is that it's been a month now that I've been ejaculating blood, like, blood, you know? No white just red drops. I think it's called "hematospermia". SO I decided visit doctor.
Went to visit an Urologist and told him about what was happening and since when it was happening. Needless to say, he was shocked for how long I've been delaying this and told me that all of that might only mean prostate cancer, that I needed to get a diagnosis and discard whatever is happening. That it may not be that late and we might get this thing cured IF cancer is what is affecting me, otherwise I'll just need to take some pills and go through some recovery and whatnot. I know this is not the way in which you usually approach your patients, but well, such is Mexico.
I was in shock, like, I relentlessly convinced myself that all of my pain and suffering was due to an infection or my bad habits and the realization and the probability of me having cancer depressed me and put me on a really strange situation with me and with mostly everyone around me.
So, I went to the clinic and asked about the price for such diagnosis and testing and everything and was surprised by the amount of money needed in order to get this thing discarded. Like, what if I don't have (cancer) and it is just a bad infection? I don't want to pay for them to tell me that I just need to take medicine and will be OK, nor I want to spend money on the baddest news of all my life.
Instead of spending money on such thing, I decided to visit Japan :) . A place that I've always wanted to go and have the time of my life. Spend all the money that I've been saving on the trip and have a blast, meet Japanese girls, get drunk on a Karaoke, eat Ramen on the street, take some pictures of a Sakura tree, sleep in a capsule, meet Japanese girls x2, visit Aokigahara (it has a really spiritual meaning for me) and probably stay there for as much as I can. Mexico has this really great relationship with Japan and I've been reading that I might even get a job there.
My family knows about all of this since yesterday and they were not really happy about my decision, they called me "Selfish MF" but I don't care. If I do have cancer I rather visit the place of my dreams and then I'm willing to accept whatever life have for me, if I don't, well, at least I got my pp sucked by an actual wifu.
&#x200B;
So, am I the asshole?
&#x200B;
tl;dr - There is a big chance I get diagnosed with cancer and instead of following my doctor's suggestions and have it discarded and treated, I decided spend the money visiting Japan.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
20jNXbjtYEL5QloxX1GRjEJ2ejuHwHQc
|
abjwbw
|
{
"description": "offering to uber my bf home on NYE",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for offering to uber my bf home on NYE?
|
Mobile user, please bear with formatting and typos.
Backstory; bf [31] and I [28] have known each other our whole lives, and have dated a few times. This go round, we have been together for 1.25 years.
Last night we were spending time together for new year's eve. Everything was going well until I hit an insecure spot and asked him if he loves me.
He starts with "of course i love you, i always have and always will, but..." and starts talking about logistics of our relationship and how we can set up a living space in another part of the house and basically he wastrying to discuss moving in with me so we could spend time together and still allow for us to pursue our respective arts (he is a musican, i do visual art) because he is not going to go through another year without releasing new tracks.
He ended up saying something along the lines of "but I know thats just not gonna happen with you" and I said 'well then why do this then?'
Some more i love you's were exchanged and we went inside to get ready for bed, but he was still talking about how stressful it was for him to come over because he cant work on music or anything so i said "okay, i can call you an uber if you want"
He got so upset saying he felt like i was kicking him out he went outside and called his family to pick him up from my place. I immediately start asking him not to leave like this - i was just offering etc etc.
I repeatedly asked him to call them back and cancel the ride, but he basically said he was tired of feeling like I could just kick him out at any second and to stop talking to him.
I called him a million times after he left, and tried to tell him over and over again that i wasnt intending to offend him, i was suggesting the thing that i thought might make him happy and obviously i do not WANT him to leave - but he kept hanging up on me and basically told me to never call his phone again because he is tired of my shit.
This morning, when i woke up, i saw he is still listed as in a relationship with me on fb, and has not changed his profile picture from the picture of us, but he has not replied to any of my messages or called or texted... so i am fairly uncertain as to what is going on.
TL;DR - bf hasn't released a new track in over a year, and attributes it to spending too much time with me so i offered to uber him home and he was so upset by me offering to uber him home that he left and told me to not talk to him again (but i dont think he broke up with me)
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
B4WD2d7Ej7rtTQQHYZsmB3LFetOE02n4
|
b22rzw
|
{
"description": "not getting a birthday gift for someone who didn't get one for me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not getting a birthday gift for someone who didn’t get one for me?
|
So one of my friends from uni’s birthday was recently and I greeted her when I saw her at school and gave her a hug and everything but no gift. On my birthday last year she just was like happy birthday and didn’t get me anything so why should I...I know it’s petty but I’m just wondering AITA since I saw a couple of mutual friends get her gifts.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NQbGUDNDXVO9wrkTePIpn16mH7DWzr5b
|
aewl8l
|
{
"description": "driving a friend off Discord",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for driving a friend off Discord?
|
Ok, so for a little bit of context, I started writing a series of DC fanfiction stories on Flickr last year. They proved popular enough, and I managed to get quite a few more people on board writing these stories set in our own universe. That's where I first met this friend of mine- He had been a fan of my stuff and, I was apparently an inspiration to him. I wrote stories about the character Killer Moth, and he wrote a spin off about his son, a character I had created just for the series.
For a time, things were great; his writing was darn good, and with a few others on board, we formed a Discord group to communicate, for crossovers and the like. Now, this person had reservations- he didn't want me to think he was stealing this character from me. I reassured him this *wasn't* the case- I had actually killed this character off before he resurrected him, and he seemed satisfied.
Then, I put forth my next idea, to clear up some continuity issues in this universe- a storyline loosely based on the comic "Flashpoint" (in case you couldn't tell already, I'm a bit of a geek), and for this particular story, I would be taking the reigns back for this character. My friend seemed ecstatic about this, again, he felt he'd stolen the character from me. Feeling he deserved that much, I brought him on to collaborate with me on this storyline. Unfortunately, those doubts of his resurfaced, despite my best efforts to console him, and he stepped back into a consulting role. When I pitched my ideas later, they were received... poorly. He acted anti-social, and voiced his disapproval. I asked him what he would have rather done, I reminded him that my heart wasn't fully in it, after all, it had began purely as an attempt to fix continuity, but this time I was labelled condescending. I argued back that he was a nightmare to work with, because he wasn't be constructive in the least, and for a couple of weeks we didn't speak, save for my attempts to bring him back to the chat. There was a point where he even seemed happier, relaxed to not be on there. But I still felt regret. Nevertheless, I continued to post my issues. A few days ago, he resurfaced on the main chat, as though nothing had happened, but still he wouldn't comment on Flickr. Despite everything, I still wanted his feedback, so I asked him. He was hesitant arguing I wouldn't want to hear it, again and again, though I tried reassuring him that any feedback is good feedback, he relented. He said he was disappointed, and, that I was right when I had said I couldn't write that particular character.
That's when I made a dumb choice. I told him yeah, it's certainly hard to work with this character, considering he was just an OC I created, no traits of his own, and that he only bloomed through his writing. He misconstrued this, or maybe I worded it poorly, but he took it as an insult to his contributions to the universe, as though he had added nothing of value. Concluding that returning to the group was a mistake, he "officially" left (before that point he'd simply not replied, but still read things), lastly telling all the other members that his door was still open.
I'm worried that I am indeed an arse for escalating the situation. If I had maybe let enough alone, it'd have been fine, but I feel my constant reassurances were off putting, and while I meant well, I was actually just being vain, for demanding feedback from him. I just feel bad because whereas just a year ago I was his inspiration, but now he resents me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8la6xEK2LWdJrpnp7w2dMqjY7E04XSgl
|
ab8bm8
|
{
"description": "accusing my girlfriend of trying to trap me",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 523
}
|
AITA I accused my girlfriend of trying to trap me
|
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now, and we have been having problems for the last month or so.
We are both in our early 30’s and I have known her for a few years. We dated once in our mid 20’s and broke up with no contact in between.
I missed her about a year ago and reached out. We started talking, meet up a few times and decided to try again. Which seemed great for awhile until we both got busy with work and life, as I started a new job.
We got into a huge blowup over commitment issues and how our relationship seemed to be falling apart.
I then accused her of only sleeping with me again so soon because she wanted to get pregnant to tie me to her.
She informed me that she is not and has never been or wanted to be pregnant.
My problem with that is she slept with me again so soon after a year break. Was during our first official date, but we had seen each other several times before then. I tried to make a move while semi drunk before this, but that didn’t lead to anything.
Has anyone accused a non pregnant girl of trying to trap them? And I don’t mean sabotaging the condoms because she never touched them.
Or Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 523,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 523
}
|
WRONG
|
1UQDoCf6wgIOjarUcU2MJnZsSQ82rSH2
|
b0wrwy
|
{
"description": "not leaving the dorm when my roommate wants more privacy with his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not leaving the dorm when my roommate wants more privacy with his girlfriend?
|
My roommate rarely sees his girlfriend due to her being a nurse and living about 90 minutes away. Today she came since she's changing jobs and isn't working for about a week or so. She's cool and we get along fine. The thing is that my roommate wanted me to leave the apartment for some time so they can have some privacy. I said no since I'm busy working on some papers that I have due this weekend and I wanted to get them done so I can go to two concerts over the weekend. My roommate calls me an asshole and they basically stay the entire time watching some show on Netflix.
I don't like writing at a university and always get distracted. It's why I was doing it in my dorm. I still have about 8 pages left on a research paper, so I'm not anywhere near done.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
FOZmtIBMLsxsSXVgSLOF34GSF9mVpaXq
|
9vh6q1
|
{
"description": "not participating in a group project but getting the credits",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not participating in a group project but getting the credits?
|
This story has come to mind as it had happened 3 years ago when I was in university.
We were assigned groups of three to design, brand and sell a FMCG (fast moving consumer goods) package.
Myself (OP), Mega B*tch (MB) and Nice guy (NG) were groped together despite barely talking to each other, we were the left overs that were swept into a group...
Day one of the group project and we had decided on the idea, we were to create a range of orange juice cartons, we had decided on color schemes, the name, all the basic branding. This project was fitting together and myself, MB and NG were getting along.
Day Two, in the morning I had woken up with a sore throat, dry cough and general aches throughout my body, my flat mates were experiencing similar symptoms and so we had decided to quarantine and stay in the flat. I had notified my group via Facebook messenger and NG was understanding, MB complained saying I was dead weight. After explaining my situation I offered to work from home (this was a design class and so I had all the software available on my laptop). MB refused, saying something like "It wouldn't be the same" If I were to work on it from home.
Day Three, Still sick, MB messages me asking if I'm going to be arriving to today's meeting. I had slept most of Day Two and so I hadn't seen this message yet. I said I would try to get out of bed but couldn't, I called the doctor and booked an appointment, nothing open until the next day.
Day Four, MB has blocked me on Facebook and disbanded the chat group, at this point it's just me talking to NG, I ask if I can contribute at all and he declines, telling me I shouldn't participate.
I go to the doctors office, get a note and get my drugs.
Day Five, I feel amazing, the drugs worked and so I go to class, it's presentation day and so our groups are presenting their projects, Myself, MB and NG are called forward, MB tries to get a word in but the lecturer didn't care and shut her down, told us we had 5 minutes to sell our product, MB and NG had speech cards handy, I had my notes from day 1. we sold the product to the point we got an average mark.
I got my credits, had it placed in my portfolio and got an award for achieving a certain grade on all my projects. I explained my situation to my tutor and he told me I still did my part but I feel guilty that I was mooching off of the group,
NG and myself still keep contact and I even got him a job designing websites for a firm, MB still has me blocked and according to my other friends I get bought up as a mooch every once and a while when she has a few too many drinks... So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ef3yLxCwGainAjHdmR3dLUiD84k6IgsG
|
b6mjbw
|
{
"description": "talking back to my teacher",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for talking back to my teacher?
|
This happened about yesterday-ish and she told me she lost all respect for me afterwards but I wanted to know if I was wrong.
&#x200B;
So I was in my French class sitting by myself at a table as my teacher is handing out worksheets. When she gives me one I get to work immediately and finish it by myself and just chill out. I had my headphones in as I was working because that's how I work best, so I didn't know that she was just giving out all of the answers on a powerpoint behind me. And I figured "well shit I might as well check if my answers were correct". I go over to my friend and held up his paper and check to see if all of my stuff matched up. And I was pretty much all correct, I just made a few adjustments here and there.
&#x200B;
The teacher asks what am I doing standing up and I apologize and say I was just verifying that my information was correct. She then makes a remark saying, "Oh were you really checking or COPYING the whole thing?" I was a little taken aback because I literally was up for like 8-10 seconds in front of the class so everyone could see exactly what I was doing. I held up my paper and said, "Well the whole thing is complete as you see here, I was just checking since I did it on my own". And she said, "I know it's done but HOW did it get done is the question." And I start to get irritated and I tell her that she literally looked at me while I was standing up and saw everything I was doing. And she was saying, "well I don't know , would you like me to give you a 0 then?" One of my classmates spoke up and said, "A zero for notes?" because in reality it wasn't even a serious assignment, it was basically notes as we had to just fill in some blanks. And she further reprimanded me saying I was being disrespectful by talking back to her and I began to say "No I was just correcting--" and she immdiately cut me off and just reached for my paper to give it a bad grade I assume.
Was AITA for speaking up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
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