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KI4PSgCN76dLXOeMYiAIyfPDdypfmWd3
|
awxoiq
|
{
"description": "lying to my parents (,) for their money",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for lying to my (21F) parents (55M, 56F) for their money?
|
TLDR; scared that homophobic parents will cut me off financially so i've been lying to them about being straight
My parents immigrated to the US after my dad's job led him here. I'm incredibly lucky to live in an upper middle class family, and they've always told me that money was not an issue.
About 8 years ago, I came out as bisexual to my sister and she was incredibly accepting. I felt safe telling her this, because despite my parents more non-tolerant beliefs, we lived in a very liberal suburban city. Plus, I talked to her all the time so of course I knew, lmao. Since then, there's been no qualms about my sexual identity, and we just basically send each other gay memes (even though she is straight) and laugh at them together. It felt great to tell a family member because I knew that I could never tell my parents.
My dad is an avid Trump supporter and always made negative comments about how he saw gay people walking in the park, or warning me not to go to the city alone because there's a lot of gay people there. Over the years, he's become more tolerant (but I wouldn't go as far as to say accepting) and even allowed my lesbian friend of 10+ years to sleep over in high school with me and a few other childhood friends. We are strictly platonic, and she even has a gf, but just the fact that he trusted her was a huge leap in my book. But I'm so afraid that this progress is just an illusion because tolerating gay people is one thing, and having a gay person in your immediate family is another.
Before going off to university I've always told myself I'll only come out to my parents if I were in a serious relationship with a girl. Honestly, this mental barrier scared me from initiating any relationship throughout college, because even if I ended up with a man I would want to let him know I'm bisexual. But in the end, this made my secret keeping much easier.
Now that I'm applying to medical school, I realize just how much of their money is being poured into me. My dad was so proud of me for applying, and even made a deal with me saying he'd pay for all of my graduate studies. I know I'm so incredibly lucky to have the prospect of being debt-free but I'm also so wrought in guilt for keeping a huge part of my identity from him. I've already kept this secret for so long, and I was honestly planning on keeping it until I'm at least like 30 years old. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
u0w2X35OBsy3CpRAy4coDM709PTFpjtm
|
aty5w1
|
{
"description": "insisting my BF changes his offensive language",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for insisting my BF changes his offensive language?
|
My BF (26) and I (23F) have been dating for 3 months. He Likes a lot of right-wing meme pages on Facebook (Count Dankula style stuff) and watches lots of comedic offensive YouTube videos. I can date someone with different political beliefs or humour to me as long as they aren't hateful.
​
I hate r\*pe and p\*dophilia jokes and asked my BF to stop making them bc of my trauma, and he mostly has. While he's toned down the offensive humour around me, he makes a lot of anti-Semitic references. We live in a place in England with a .7% Jewish population, I think he gets most of it from the internet because he references Jewish people controlling everything, which they blatantly don't. He used to enjoy spouting random Holocaust denial things to get me riled up. One time I got really upset by him doing this, I raised my voice and said if he was an actual Holocaust denier I was going to break up with him. He laughed, recorded me saying that and sent it to his friend. Later he said he's not actually a Holocaust denier. He calls taxes "Jew taxes", when KFC stopped delivering to him he called it a "nosy move", and when he's angry instead of swearing normally he'll throw around words like "k\*ke", "f\*\*\*ot" and the n-word.
​
One time we were drunk and I told him his offensive humour is upsetting to me and he said he wanted to unlearn it bc he accidentally fell into it. I think he started to get involved in it when his ex dumped him in Feb 2018, he had 7 months of breakdowns and drunken blackouts. When sober, I said unliking the FB pages would be a good step (he spends 4+ hours a day on FB). He said he would, I'm not sure if he did or not. Later he said "you know I do actually care about minorities, right?" I said I didn't, the only time he references them is when he's being mean about them. He says he'll stop being offensive, then he'll say stuff like "I'm 26, I don't exactly see my sense of humour changing at this point" and is proud of that stubbornness. He says I'm too sensitive, but the anti-Semitism in particular seems to come from an unironic place because of how persistent it is. I've learned to just shut down and not reply because he enjoys getting me aggravated.
​
He's a nice BF, he looked after me when I'm sick, was patient when I couldn't have sex for a long time, comes over sometimes even though he's allergic to my cat, and he's proud of my accomplishments and protective of me. I've had awful boyfriends in the past so I'm patient because I know everyone has flaws. The reason I haven't broken up with him is because he did stop making the r\*pe and p\*dophilia jokes and stopped saying the n-word so I thought he might stop the anti-Semitism too and that I'd "unradicalised" him or something. But he's not really stopping and I'm constantly guilty because I feel like I'm betraying my values or I'm being too controlling. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
rAh2faO9GqrVo7gowvQxHmnXpP2PXOYM
|
b3knyd
|
{
"description": "not letting my daughter stay at her friends house because I get weird vibes from the father",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my daughter stay at her friends house because I get weird vibes from the father?
|
My daughter is 9 and wanted To sleep over at her friends house. The girl lives alone with her dad and I’m sorry but I get very creepy vibes from him, I also have a feeling he might be an alcoholic. Maybe he’s fine but I honestly don’t wanna risk if. My daughter is confused why I won’t let her stay there but will let her stay at other peoples houses. I don’t really know what to say,
AITA for not letting her stay?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
HJAYwnbOZUW0mJq3BHBMNYTvCybp2Npm
|
b6bkqr
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend because he still refuses to delete the dating app",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he still refuses to delete the dating app?
|
OK, so I met this apparently wonderful guy through this dating app (not Tinder) and then dated, until we're official.
I told him that because we found each other, we got to delete the app.
He said he doesn't want to.
I confronted him and asked him "What are we?"
And when I asked "Am I just an option?" I damn cried. I felt embarrassed, I tried not to cry but I couldn't help it. He's been talking about the future, meeting the parents, marriage, having kids, but then he still refuses to delete the app.
"I'll delete the app when I'm ready."
He's not ready to delete the app yet ready to talk about bigger things, as big as marriage.
And then it stung when he said, "I'm telling you as a friend..."
A FRIEND?! He kissed me almost had sex with me (thank God I stopped him in time)! How dare him call me a friend?!
He insists he's not even using the app.
Well, it was a HUUUUUGE red flag over his head. So I left his house in the middle of the night.
Boi bye.
(But deep inside I'm sad because I thought he's the one)
Am I the asshole in here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
YAxUOofUEo9YaamIfHytXDQuiuHwPyZw
|
adib91
|
{
"description": "causing my friend to drop out of the top ten of the batch",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA when I caused my friend to drop out of the top ten of the batch?
|
Obligatory "phone post, bad format" warning.
This problem starts a month ago: In mid december, We had a project where we had to make a christmas-themed dessert.
This period in our school is project hell week with deadlines for seven projects in the same three day period, followed up by our periodical examination, before the Christmas party then Christmas break.
I immediately thought of making a cheesecake because my brother studies culinary and he had experience making cheesecakes. This led to me having to bring cheesecakes for us to decorate.
Time goes by and the day arrives when I have to bring the cheesecakes. I bring them, as promised, but no one brought anything. This was to be expected, to be completely honest.
Now, let's call my friend "Jake". He's currently at top 9, with me at 7. Jake was supposed to bring the decorations: something for snow, a gingerbread man, and whatever else they thought of.
We ended up not being able to make one, but this one project made up 30% of my grade, which is dangerous since our system works in a way that if you get a grade lower than 85, even if all your other subjects are at 99 or 98, you wont be in the honor students list.
So after classes, I pleaded with our teacher to allow me to record myself making the dessert, and she approved of it.
I admittedly was angry at them. I didnt want to drop out of the honor roll. Knowing I can get at most half of the total score, I did all I could and passed my dessert on the resumption of classes in January.
They, of course, saw this and asked me why I brought it. I explained that and all else, and passed my USB and dessert. Fast forward a few days, today, and Jake had a grade in TLE of 81, and he bawled his eyes out in the cafeteria.
I feel bad, but I feel like it was my fault that I didn't let him join in on my project. I moved down to Rank 8 and he was removed.
My teacher explained to us, when Jake confronted about her it, that she didnt tell them because I was "the only one who had the drive to ask her for consideration."
Now Jake hasnt talked to me since earlier, even when I approached him. I've said sorry many times already but I'm curious as to see if I was really in the wrong.
This ended up being way too long, I can never get straight to the point.
TL;DR - I recieved consideration to be able to still pass a project even when my group failed to make one (group mates failed to deliver), and decided not to tell my friend. This resulted in him being removed from the honor roll, and now I think he doesnt want to talk to me because of it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qECFp4xHc0ByiZctiAespSEQcJXmIMD9
|
awnlmp
|
{
"description": "yelling at mom for not making any dish for the weekend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for yelling at mom for not making any dish for the weekend
|
I yelled bcz I got really annoyed that she rarely makes any food any day, especially at SAT and SUN. BUT if a neighbour/s comes at our house she always acts like a housewife serving guests with food and drink non stop.
College just started and I already have 2 big projects to make, learning 4 new programming languages, billion essays scheduled and I want to ace all of them + 2-3 times per week I hit gym.
My college is near me ( about 7km ) so I usually go there with a car/bike from my home. Bcz college is in my proximity I can't get into the student dorm or student restaurant ( where I could get whole meal ( big portions) for 1.5$ hasle free ). Even if I could be accepted into the dorm my mom said she wouldn't let me ( she knows the dorm manager).
I already told her countless times that I go to gym to gain some weight since im bordering between lean and malnurished and I don't have the privilege to go to a student restaurant where other students go.
I make myself at least one meal a day usually when I feel mild hunger pain in my stomach,but it really infuriates me that other moms of friends I know cooks 2-3 meals a day, when mine makes one that should suffice us for 2-3 days.
Also I told her that she is selfish and if it weren't for dad this whole family would collapse.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 25
}
|
WRONG
|
9KdqXh97yDswthSiYT3QelaRDerwQCad
|
a2d1ua
|
{
"description": "ending the friendship with my best friend of 8 years",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for ending the friendship with my best friend of 8 years?
|
We'd been friends for 8 years and she had a hard life and went through a lot of shit in her life - narcissistic mother who was manipulative and kicked her out often until she managed to move out at 20ish years old. I tried my best to be there for her and support her, talking and letting her stay over my uni house for a couple days and so on.
We lost contact for a bit but then reconnected when I was in the final year of my undergraduate and began my masters. I lived an hour away by train.
We messaged everyday, met up and played video games often but gradually I became busier and struggled more with my mental health. I cancelled on meeting up more often than I would go and wouldn't have time for video games or two hour phone calls.
She got tired with me not giving her enough attention and we had an argument over me not spending enough time with her. I apologised and promised it wouldn't happen again. I worked hard to meet up and play video games over the coming months.
But unfortunately my mental health decreased further with increased stress from my Masters course, working 3 days a week and struggling with self harm and feelings of suicide. I made sure that I messaged her every day to stay in touch but had to consistently turn down gaming requests and phone calls - which would be a minimum of 2 hours. I was barely surviving getting out of bed, working on my thesis and eating. I hadn't even switched on my tv or hung out with uni friends for the past two months.
A week before my birthday and deadline for my thesis project, I get a message after cancelling on a meet up i made in a brief moment of positivity, telling me that she deserves better people in her life, has tried to be there for me but needs to think of herself, then calls me a selfish bitch and that she needs a friend now and cant wait another second.
I begged for another chance, promised to change and cried my eyes out, but she said goodbye.
I graduated and moved back home a week later. Some time passed with no contact other than her liking my photos on Instagram. I was mad that she thought she could cut me out of her life that way and then continue to like my photos, so I blocked her.
She confronted me about blocking her and then we spoke again about what happened and she tried to understand my side of the story, apologised for what she said and I accepted and apologised for not thinking of her feelings and how me not spending time with her made her feel, especially considering her anxiety, depression and abandonment issues stemming from her mother.
But I was still absolutely furious about what had happened and grieved the loss of the friendship.
We spoke for a bit but i realised that i hadnt forgiven her for the way she treated me. I went on a night out with my old school friends and it made me realise that even though we'd (school friends) met up 3-4 times a year and spoken infrequently, we all were just thrilled to see each other and understood that life gets in the way but doesn't affect our friendship and love for each other. Even when I'd cancelled on meeting up with them more often than not and they had done the same to me.
I got drunk and angry, reread all the old messages and sent a strongly worded text telling my best friend to go fuck herself, that it was over. She was draining and self-centred. I'm not the meek little mousy girl who would follow her around anymore and be treated like shit at the worst and lowest moment of my life.
Further texts were sent back and forth and I didn't hold back. I was a dick about it. I could have been nicer, but I was so angry and just relieved that I had finally said what had been bubbling away since she sent that text before my birthday and I'd rolled over and begged for her back.
I regret the way I did it, but I don't regret the outcome.
It probably makes me a cunt, but I'm glad it's over. I would have been cut out again by her later on and made to feel like shit later in my life when I got a full time job/partner/moved because life just fucking happens, I don't owe anyone my time in the way she seemed to expect from me.
So yeah, I've tried to be honest here and not leave anything out.
What do you guys think, am I the arsehole for ending the friendship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
VVi3SN9Bg3yZ8qTUAqFehGSufDIts2vV
|
b1iepq
|
{
"description": "not giving the 'correct' answer",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not giving the 'correct' answer?
|
friend1: friend in front of me
friend2: friend beside friend1
friend3: friend in front of friend2
​
A couple of days ago (like one or two at the time of writing this post) I asked friend1 to answer the question: what is the square root of -1. He told me to tell him the answer while friend2 was trying to think of it. After a minute he told me that he would give me a pound(sterling not punch)if I told him the answer now instead of at the end of the lesson(this happened during math).I told him that I would agree to that so we were thinking of a person to give the pound to hold so no one could back down I thought to give it to friend2 and we agreed. When I told him the answer (which is i(which stands for imaginary))he turned to friend3 and took the money from him. I was pissed since when I asked for the money he said that i was the scammer because apparently telling the fact that there is an answer for the question: what is the square root of -1 by saying that its an actual number so they can be sure it exists. Currently he still wont give me the money even though friend2 also agreed that I should get the money that he offered
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
0FUbD8axCPLfqVWLzEtcJgox1a0SECL4
|
ano4h5
|
{
"description": "not being grateful",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being grateful?
|
So, I’m disabled and normally that isn’t too much of an issue. I can do most things on my own and my family and friends know that and they treat me pretty normally. If I really seem to be struggling they might ask if I need help, but they don’t push it if I say I’m fine. And unless I’m literally about to drop all my stuff everywhere or fall or something, they never just jump in to help without asking. I think that’s only happened a couple times.
That isn’t always the case with strangers though. I know they mean well but oh my god, it is ridiculous sometimes. I don’t mind people offering to help or asking. Sometimes I actually do need help and I am extremely grateful for it if I actually needed it. I also love how most people are very kind and will help if I ask for it.
However, there are some cases where I am doing something that I do often, if not every single day, and some passerby assumes I cannot do it and asks if I need help. That is totally fine and I appreciate it. What I hate is when I say “oh no thank you, I’m fine” and they just keep on saying “are you sure?”. Some people just keep on asking. And occasionally someone will just do the thing for me anyway. I even had one guy ask if I needed help picking my couple of small shopping bags up when I was at the bus station and getting them on the bus. I said no thank you, and before I had a chance to even tell him my bus wasn’t there yet, he picked up my stuff, carried them onto the bus he was getting on, sat them on the front seat, and went and sat down. So I had to get onto the bus, get my stuff, and get off.
I was kinda complaining about this recently and my couple friends I was talking to all basically said I was being petty and unappreciative and that I should “just be grateful people care enough to help”. I later brought it up to someone else and they said the exact same thing. Originally I did appreciate it but it is so annoying to have to explain to people that I can do my normal every day stuff whenever I go out. I never really thought that being annoyed and even kind angry about this was an asshole thing to do but apparently the people around me seem to think it is. What do you guys think? Am I just overreacting? Should I be more grateful that people try so hard to help me? Like I said, I originally thought it was totally reasonable to be annoyed by this but now I’m second guessing it and wondering if I’m just super petty and negative.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vQ9llS1o2bgJJLgxvQ3HkXKMjK4TNAMi
|
b6h1qq
|
{
"description": "making people \"beg\" whenever they want something from me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for making people "beg" whenever they want something from me?
|
Ok so sometimes when Mr friend is being annoying or I feel like dicking around and he wants something I make him "beg"
So the contract goes like this. F=friend me=me
F - can I borrow a pen?
Me - say please.
F - please.
Me - please what?
F - can I please borrow a pen?
Then I give it to him. Usually followed by him calling me a cunt but again we are close friends so it's nothing serious.
Anyway so I was with this mutual friend that I knew pretty well and I thought was a chill dude so when he asked to borrow my phone to make a quick call I said the line. Say please, please what and so on. Anyway about half way through he got super mad and told me that it's extremely rude and disrespectful.
Usually I only done it to my friend but again I thought he was chill. AITA? Is it shitty of me to do that to other people, friend or not? Was it shitty of me to do it to him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
dzkGINtGktOGOnrCG7rpyrRSltKxaZSd
|
aqacky
|
{
"description": "offering to push a man in a wheelchair",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for offering to push a man in a wheelchair?
|
I was in an airport terminal after landing when I saw a gentleman in a wheelchair, his lap laden with bags. We were at the base of a pretty decent incline about 100 yards long(the incline allows aircraft to taxi under it). He seemed to be alone and a little tired from the lengthy trip to this point. I noticed a slight hesitation, started to walk over, and asked “Would you like a push?”
His response was a curt “No thank you”.
After his response I noticed the push bars I normally see on wheelchairs were not on his wheelchair. I can only imagine that he gets this frequently, and that the interaction could get old really quickly. Is there an unwritten(or written) etiquette for offering to help someone in these kinds of situations?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
NPTQKe9h6mArJFp14JY9VAfzjfLOp506
|
aua7pt
|
{
"description": "getting upset when my GF told me she was only applying for a few jobs every few weeks and giving her an ultimatum",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting upset when my GF told me she was only applying for a few jobs every few weeks and giving her an ultimatum?
|
For context, we've been together roughly 4 years, living together for about 3. For the last year or so I've been supporting her 100% financially while she looks for work and (more recently) going back to school (mostly online).
Last night we had a fight where I (24M) told her that the effort she (23F) has been putting in simply isn't acceptable, that I felt betrayed as I've always defended her when people find out our situation and say she needs to be working.
The ultimatum I gave her was that if there isn't a change soon I'm going to stop paying for her. I don't expect her to get hired straight away or anything, she is studying now and the job market where we are is shit. I just want to see her doing more than she was. And by paying for her, I mean her phone, her share of the bills, streaming services, etc. I'm not going to let her starve or anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
15FbHbAg8lBQvkJfI1HRyY9DP4RKErxz
|
b20q0c
|
{
"description": "asking what my sister is doing in my room",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA Asking what my sister is doing in my room.
|
My little sister, 4, has her clothes in my room, even though nothing else is. I was listening to my music loud through my headphones(I have anxiety and music helps), and I asked her what she was doing in my room, since she comes in here and makes messes all the time. I wasn't being rude or anything, but my mom got super mad at me.
"Take those damn headphones out of your head and you might know what the hell is going on!"
The exact way I worded the question was "(little sister) why are you in here?" In that voice you use to talk to toddlers. Am I the asshole here, or is my mom?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
snCZozoCyjQVPwDgZWhdnbUdERe2xV5M
|
b161rg
|
{
"description": "not liking to visit my dad",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not liking to visit my dad?
|
My fiancee seems to think that I'm a jerk for not liking to visit my dad, who lives an 80 minute drive away.
I can't place my finger on it lately, but the gist of it is this: While I respect him, I don't really like him.
He's a complete slob when it comes to keeping up his house. Everything is held together with bits of string and jerry-rigged with duct tape. The shower broke two months ago and rather than just buying a showerhead, he bought a garden foot hose, ran it from the utility room sink, out the window, and into the bathroom. The replacement showerhead was cheaper. There are other larger repairs that need to be made but he won't even let me pay to get the stuff fixed, because that would involve waiting at home with for a repairman rather than going out golfing or fishing with his friends.
My dad thinks he's an excellent cook. We usually go out to eat (another story, because he'll rant and rave about how having buttered toast or medium-rare steak is going to kill me) when I'm there, but my dad has some strange ideas. He thinks that "high temperatures" cause metal pans to turn into lead, because he read it somewhere on the internet. And that frying anything at all is unhealthy. So his MO is usually to boil everything together in a pot - usually after combining random ingredients together like meat, fruits, vegetables, and instant oatmeal - then slathering everything with ketchup.
He never throws anything out. Old newspapers, old laptops going back to the 90's, and radios all over gathering dust. Most of the time I'm sneezing constantly there because the place is a mess. Then he'll say it's because I use tissues instead of a handkerchief.
Basically, I still respect him and I'm grateful for the fact that he raised me and paid for my education when I was younger, but now I really can't stand to be around him.
|
HISTORICAL
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a7qyb2
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{
"description": "claiming an african dish is \"my\" recipe, as a white person",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for claiming an African dish is "my" recipe, as a white person?
|
I work in a cafe, and am always pushing for more vegan options (my personal form of activism). Last month, we added a stew that I adapted from recipes online. It's called African Peanut Stew. I tweaked it a bit for taste, and to be easier to prepare in our small kitchen, so I didn't think twice about calling it my recipe. But today, a young black woman seemed pretty put off when she asked about it. I told her it was my recipe, and that I was proud of it (in a friendly, conversational way, I thought), and she raised her eyebrows and asked pointedly, "Oh really? So do you know a lot about African culture?" Which, I don't. Not "a lot." Not enough to make any kind of claim to it regarding my identity.
Am I being an asshole by stating it this way? Should I stop telling people it's my recipe? It's been very popular and I like talking to people about it, but I don't want to be offensive. Thanks in advance!
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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aycyf9
|
{
"description": "covertly trying to help people my friends have ripped off",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for covertly trying to help people my friends have ripped off?
|
So I just recently found out that an old friend I went to school with (and am still in the same social circle as) and their spouse have been habitually selling sub par / unsafe products (of high value) in their business. It appears to be either flippant carelessness or deliberate misrepresentation of the state of the goods as it has been happening for several years. I believe it's the latter as the owner has been taken to court 20+ times for the offenses lodged by shafted customers. Despite this, they have never paid any of the money they have been ordered to pay back. Meanwhile have been living lush and ostentatiously, which now appears to be thanks to what is basically fraud.
I was really shaken to find out via a Facebook post from a customer (on a local page) who had paid several thousand and weeks later is still waiting for product. The company's ph lines are disconnected and no one responds to emails. The customer is a young family with a kid and they can't afford to lose the money they spent and its putting them in a very stressful situation.
I read their story and the story of many others and I thought I needed to help if I can.
AITA if I get my nose involved in the matter when it's really not my business? Am I wrong to use my knowledge /position as a friend to go against my friend because I feel their actions are immoral?
Or AITA if I don't try and help those they have ripped off? Should I just pretend nothing is happening and leave it to the authorities who have so far been toothless and little helps for victims?
I'm conflicted. I just want victims to get their money back.
|
HISTORICAL
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9ynlhi
|
{
"description": "telling my brother to kill himself",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 115
}
|
AITA, I told my brother to kill himself
|
Trigger Warning: Suicide, Mental Illness
I get the part where it's generally wrong. I feel like in the situation it was kinda okay though. Basically, he has bipolar disorder and he's always moping around about everything and just in general he's always thinking irrationally. We were just talking about this thing on the news about a kid who committed suicide. That's where it kinda took a turn and he said that he can relate to them. I was already irritated because he changed the topic to something depressing like usual. He also just destroyed the mood. I regret saying it but we started having an argument about it and I was just trying to explain to him that he needs to stop talking about his mental health when he denies to take medication. It ended with me saying that if he's so depressed and if he hates his life so much, to kill himself. I caught on immediately and apologized but he was already hurt by it. He didn't reply to my apologies, he just left. I feel like an asshole but at the same time it's kinda true.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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9zlgp2
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{
"description": "not telling my BF the extent he physically hurt me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not telling my BF the extent he physically hurt me?
|
***Please note: I am simply asking if I’m the asshole for how I handled things, NOT if my BF is the asshole***
My BF (36M) and I (38F) have been together over 4 years, and friends 12 years before that. I’ll call him Joe, to ease storytelling.
One night last week when Joe was drinking at home, he took his Ambien and went to bed. He started acting amorous. We’ve talked, in the past, about how unwilling I am to accept his advances when he’s taken his meds. I don’t feel he can give consent if I know he won’t remember our lovemaking.
Joe told me he was fine with it, and appreciated my concern. We’ve had evenings where when spooning for the night one thing leads to another and we have sex.
Last week, the booze plus the Ambien caused him to start sexy-time. Joe went down on me with no warm up. It felt awkward, and I pulled away. He told me that he knew I wasn’t going to get off that way, and was going to try something different. He grabbed a vibrator (Hitachi) and started playing we me. While it was intense, I knew I wasn’t going to orgasm. I was stone cold sober, and just felt awkward about the whole experience.
We’ve played with BDSM where I am very much submissive. This particular evening, he decided to top me in ways we had discussed but never formalized the boundaries. Joe started getting rough. Fingering me really hard, realizing it was his ticket to get me to squirt, then trying to shove his fist in me-something we’ve never done before. When that wasn’t working he kept insisting I “relax” and tried to get the hitachi into me. It became him alternating between the toy and his fist. Even with lube, I asked him to stop several times. He would use his dominant voice and tell me to relax and open up.
Eventually, it moved to anal play. He was just as aggressive, and not able to hear me asking to slow down or stop.
The end resulted in me bleeding from both ends as I had several tears.
Because of work and all around life issues, we weren’t able to talk right away. 2 days later, I texted him to say that I needed some serious aftercare. He cancelled his plans for that night, came over, got naked and climbed into bed and held me. I then told him a very abridged version of what happened. “You were very “aggressive” “You pushed me far past where I expected to ever be”. I even asked if in that kind of situation, should I have used our safety words of colors to get him to hear me, as stop and no didn’t work.
He apologized several times. And I accepted. I know he would never intentionally hurt me. I know I can’t possibly make him feel worse than he already does. And the truth is I don’t want to.
Tonight he made a comment about my wearing underwear to bed recently. He assumed it had to do with my periods. Which is so completely wrong. I’m wearing underwear because there’s medication for the tearing on both sides. I told him it had to do with our ‘rough’ night.
We just had an argument where he tells me ITA, because I haven’t told him everything. I told him that I didn’t want to. All I can think, is that if I’m 100% candid, he’s going to feel like a rapist.
I do NOT see his as such. I just know I’m in physical pain, and don’t want to rehash as bad choice he made. He got pissed off tonight, and has since fallen asleep because I’m upset over something that’s he’s already apologized for, and I’m shitty for not telling him everything.
So AITA for not disclosing all the details from that night? And if so, how do I tell Joe what he did?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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|
b2qd0e
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{
"description": "charging high amounts for snacks",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for charging high amounts for snacks.
|
So at my school teachers don’t care if kids sell stuff between them. Would I be a asshole for charging 3 dollars for a item that costs me 1 dollar. Last year I had it down to science raking in about 40 bucks daily profit but I feel like a ass overcharging them. Most of them are from very wealthy families who give them a lot of pocket change.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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| null |
AITA Wife left me and now she's mad/hurt
|
(M36) My wife (F29) left me a couple months back stating I did nothing wrong and she's unhappy and needs to find herself and how to be happy. We've talked the entire time and remained civil even as far as going to dinner or out for drinks. I never wanted any of this and its definitely not the first time she's left. I'd love nothing more than for us to end up together happily for the rest of our lives. With that being said it hasn't looked promising. She has done nothing really to better herself or her situation and somehow we end up in a argument just about everytime were together. I wouldn't go as far to say I've given up but I have started talking to other women mostly because I just can't stand being alone. I haven't had sex with any of them and have actually turned it down on multiple occassions. She has thrown accusations around and is pretty upset as well as hurt. I struggle to find how I am to blame and feel it's unfair to be mad at me for attempting to have a somewhat normal life again. So Reddit you tell me AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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ab3x9o
|
{
"description": "not knowing how to treat my sick cat",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not knowing how to treat my sick cat?
|
My pet cat, who was my childhood pet, is very old (about 17 years old) and she is starting to show signs of being very sick (urinating and pooping in areas of the house, losing weight rapidly, matted fur, losing hearing, etc.). My parents believe that the only option at this point is to euthanize her, which they almost ended up doing without telling me about 2 weeks ago when I was still away at college. However, now I am home for winter break and I can see how ill she is. But I also have a pet dog who we thought was on his last leg earlier this year but then we got a new vet in our hometown and they actually prescribed my dog with new meds and he’s better than ever!
Basically part of me believes that we should keep trying in making our cat healthier and give her a chance like we were able to do for our dog, but I also don’t want her to be suffering and i understand if putting her down is the best thing to do.
We are taking her to a vet appointment this week to figure out what’s wrong, but my family and I basically just have a gut feeling that the vet will say that whatever is wrong isn’t reversible. I just don’t know if I’m ready to say good bye yet. I’ve had her for basically her whole life since I was 6, and I just feel like I wasn’t the best owner to her. And if we do have to put her down, I know I should be in the room with her when it happens but i’ve been through a shit load this past year and idk if I can handle seeing her go like that :( I feel so selfish and just overwhelmed
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ajs9eq
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{
"description": "not giving up my seat on a plane so a mom could be with her kids",
"pronormative_score": 142,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for not giving up my seat on a plane so a mom could be with her kids?
|
I was on an eight hour flight from Hawaii to Orange County. My parents and my siblings were on another flight since it was cheaper for me to fly separately. My dad asked if I wanted to switch tickets with him but since I knew he'd be taking care of my baby brothers during the flight, I felt like flying separately so I could get some good sleep.
​
I sat down in my seat which was closest to the aisle. Almost everyone was in their seats until this really loud mother came on with her daughters. Her daughters were a little younger than me (16-18). They came to my row and sat their luggage up in the storage compartment. She then asked me if I'd want to trade her seats a few rows back. I looked back to where she was pointing and it was a window seat next to two pretty large individuals.
​
I respectfully declined and said I would remain in my seat. She started to get super irritated and went on a rant about how crazy her trip has been and how she didn't want to be separated from her daughters. She went and sat in the back and I thought it'd be the end of it. Just as we were getting ready to take off, she came back up and said she couldn't stand being back there. By this point, everyone was starting to look in our direction. She asked me again if she could have my seat and I told her no. One of the air flight attendants came over and asked if there was a problem.
​
The lady told the attendant that I wouldn't give up my seat so she could be with her daughters. The attendant asked me if I could move back and I told her no. I'm a pretty tall person and having the aisle seat let me stretch out my legs a bit more. Plus it was my seat. The lady and the flight attendant seemed upset but there was nothing else they could do. She went back to her seat. I looked over at the people across the aisle and said something along the lines of: "Well that was something." One of them said I should've given up my seat even if the lady was being rude about it.
​
About halfway through the flight, the lady woke me up and said she was going to switch spots with her daughter since she couldn't be back there anymore. She sat down next to me and made her daughter sit in the back. I couldn't really fall back asleep and we finally made it to the airport.
​
I obviously think she was being an asshole but was I also being an asshole for not giving up my seat?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
adu2go
|
{
"description": "sending back my parents to their place when they came for an unexpected visit",
"pronormative_score": 50,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sending back my parents to their place when they came for an unexpected visit?
|
Me and my wife (and daughter) live in a small town around three hours drive from my parents.
The relationship with my parents is mostly good (with their hiccups) and my wife gets along well with them too.
I got into an argument (not a big one but also not a trivial thing) with my wife and she went to her parents because she wanted to take some time off me. I said it was fine and my daughter went with her. We live in the same town, around 20 mins from each other.
A bit later my parents called and showed their intentions to come visit us (as they do from time to time). Without going into much detail I told them that right now was not the best time and to wait a couple days before coming.
Sometime later during that day they show up as a surprise (which I think was well intended) and find out about the situation. I tell them I'm sorry but that's how it is and I don't want to bother my wife at this particular moment because I'm giving her time and this thing literally happened earlier in the morning.
My dad gets all pissed off because he drove all the way here and wanted to see her granddaughter, so he gets into an attitude that he's going to my in-laws place anyway, because he wants to see our daughter and 'there's nothing wrong with that'. I tell him that now really is not the best time for that and offer them to stay at my home for the rest of the day/night and 'let's wait until tomorrow and see how things develop'. He continues to be angry at this and eventually my parents decide to leave back to their hometown.
I feel a bit bad because they drove all the way here and all the way back for nothing, also my attitude towards them was a bit harsh in the sense that I was clear that they could not just go and look for my wife at my in-laws' and this only pissed of my dad more, to the point of leaving.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
akluw0
|
{
"description": "telling off one of my classmates at an outdoor theatre",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling off one of my classmates at an outdoor theatre?
|
throwaway account
Just for reference, there are three key people in this dilemma. Me (17F), my best friend A (18F), and my classmate B (17F). We all attend an an all-girls Catholic high school. A whole group of us girls (~10 girls) just finished a major volunteering project, and we wanted to go to an outdoor cinema to celebrate. Our local outdoor cinema was screening Dirty Dancing, so we all agreed to go. B had never seen the movie before, but we assured her she’d like it. We brought a large picnic rug and sat near the back since we had such a big group. Now, the situation: during the movie there were a few sex scenes. I use the term sex scene really lightly because in all honesty it wasn’t too explicit. During these scenes B would start acting embarrassing. She would squeal/whimper/cover her eyes with an empty crisp packet. I got a bit annoyed but just brushed it off. Finally, she said really loudly, “that’s disgusting, who wants to see that?”. People literally turned around. It was embarrassing that she was being so loud and immature. I made the “shh” gesture and said we could talk about it later. I thought that would be the end of it. But when the movie was over we all went to get ice-cream. She brought up these scenes, telling us that she didn’t understand how we could watch those scenes/like the movie. She started talking about how sex is dirty and impure, and that her parents raised her better than to have sex before marriage. At this point the other girls were making eyes at each other. I was getting frustrated because I’ve had safe sex before and I don’t think it’s “dirty” at all. So I said, “well, it’s a natural part of life, I’m sorry your parents raised you to fear sex”. After that comment B got really defensive and said that I had no business saying something like that. She left shortly after that. My best friend, A, thinks that I should apologize and offer to go see a clean movie with her. The other girls are split, some think I was right and some think that I made things too personal. I don’t really want to be friends with someone who thinks that I’m dirty/impure. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a4zvmm
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{
"description": "wishing my friend would stop throwing a pity party and get some help",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wishing my friend would stop throwing a pity party and get some help?
|
Mental illness is a real problem, and I am in no way trying to imply that people suffering from depression aren't doing their darn best. I just want to help my friend.
I am in highschool. My friend texts me everyday telling me "I had X amount of breakdowns today" and "I can't go to school today, because I'll just have a breakdown"
He skips for days and he'll come back and we have a test an he'll say "I'm gonna do the test but I'm high so" I told him that weed and alcohol are going to make his depression and anxiety worse.
I've told him some strategies I use for when I experience depression, I've recommended he see a therapist or at LEAST the school counselor. He always says "I can't, I'll just end up crying" His parents are telling him to suck it up.
It's been this way for months and seems to be getting worse each day, from what he is telling me. He shuts down every suggestion I give him.
I feel at this point it's like he doesn't even want help. I want to support my friend, but I'm running out of things to say and honestly starting to become a little annoyed. I tell myself that it isn't my job to fix people. Learning that is something I struggle with. I can't fix him, I just wish he would take responsibility and do something about his situation
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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1YIslEMpAruNxxPdxltxdLJpWCAqCAuR
|
apfvvp
| null |
AITA for how I responded to being ghosted by my friend?
|
First of all, this is absolutely really juvenile/high school level stuff.
So I’ve known this girl practically as long as I’ve been alive. Went to all the same schools, families did stuff together, etc. Six or so years ago, we were briefly “together” but I at least was too young to understand what that really meant so it ended. We’ve generally remained friends since, but it sort of goes in phases: we’ll really hit it off, we’ll hang out in person a bunch, and then for whatever reason we won’t talk for months. Well, we had stayed talking for pretty much all of 2018, which I was happy about. Whenever we were both back from college we’d get lunch or go for a walk or whatever, and I always had a good time.
Towards the end of December, after we had seen each other multiple times, she asked me when I was free. I responded with dates and times. After 24 hours, she had said nothing. So I figured, okay, maybe I said something rude, or she was unhappy I wasn’t making plans. So I apologized if I had said anything wrong, said that I really wanted to see her again, and asked her to a specific time and place. And I never heard from her.
Fast forward to yesterday. Out of the blue she sends me a picture of my best friend’s tinder profile and asks if that’s him. Conversation goes like this:
Her: Is this John like John Smith?
Me(8 hours later): yes
Her(1 hour later): Hmm. I see
Her(half an hour later): Awkward
Her(15 minutes later): Sorry
Her: I feel like I did something wrong, are you just busy
Me: Busy right now sorry (which was 100% true, although I also really did not want to talk)
Me(15 minutes later): Hey, so what’s up? John does look a lot different with that haircut haha
Her(half an hour later): Sorry I thought you were pissed off or something
Me: I mean I’m definitely surprised to hear from you after a month but no worries
And that was all I've heard from her since yesterday. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ah1jvr
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend I won't ignore my 3yr old while on the phone with him",
"pronormative_score": 43,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend I won't ignore my 3yr old while on the phone with him?
|
I went through a divorce where my ex got our 3yr old and 14yr old because of financial reasons (I was a stay at home mom and he's an engineer) so he can afford to have them. This leaves me seeing my 3yr old, who until September 2018 lived with me full time, only seeing him every wednesday and then every other weekend. The time away is very hard on us both so when I have him I take extra care to give him the attention and focus from me he needs as he gets very clingy because he doesn't see me much (understandably).
Lastnight he had just arrived at my house and we were busy playing together when the man Im seeing calls me. I was busy with my son so I didnt hear my phone. He called 10 times in a row until I answered the phone. Because we were busy playing I continued showing him attention and didn't want to take my focus off of him, while still listening to what my boyfriend was telling me (it was about a phone plan he's getting).
Finally he got annoyed and said he would just call me back. I apologized and started explaining that I hadnt seen my son in a week and wanted to spend focused time with him, but while I was talking he hung up on me. I texted him and said I was talking when he hung up,and thats rude (he often hangs up on me). He replied by telling me that Im the rude one for still interacting with my son while on the phone with him. I told him that because I dont get to see my son alot, Im going to keep my focus on him when I have him, and that its not rude but Im being an attentive mom. He replied by telling me he just wont call me when my son is around. I told him thats fine.
AITA?
TLDR; boyfriend gets mad when I dont give him undivided attention on the phone while my son is visiting me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
aomm53
|
{
"description": "catfishing gone too far",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA Catfishing gone too far?
|
So my friend started a fake account on instagram called Carly grey (a porn star) and started cat fishing our friends. It got to the point where he was actively fishing for 2 of our good friends and he even sent his own booty pic. One of the friends found out but we kept it a secret from the other. The other found out today and is mad at me and calling me and everyone with me an asshole for not telling him. Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
hcjMVtUE5nlH6xWryTvnuy3lgcQZ2m9E
|
amdtiy
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my fiance and our cats",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my fiance and our cats?
|
tl;dr cock blocked and cucked by two cats.
So we got these cats a bit ago when they were kittens. She wore me down and I agreed to getting one cat; as they are not allowed where we live and we already have a dog. I asked her to not go without me to pick them up or to see them, because I know all too well that we're going to get two if she had.
Well she went without me anyway, and lo and behold we had two kittens reserved for us when they got weened. I should have spoken up - me going with her was to help ensure we wouldn't had gotten in a situation where I'd have to break her heart and telling her to choose just one. But she went without me, and started fantasizing how they'd be brother/sister and friends and so on.. So hey, guess that sucks for me.
I had only a few reservations I outlined in a couple rules: No cats on the dinner table or counters, and no pets, including the dog, in the bedroom. I don't like the cats digging in their litter and then jumping up on food surfaces, and I don't like pet hair in the bed. I felt that reasonable.
We live in a small 2bed/1bath home. We share one bedroom, and the other room has my music equipment, the computer, other expensive stuff. It's the office, and I do bills and school work in here as well. She used to have art stuff in here but since moved that to the bedroom. It isn't a man-cave or anything; moving in, was supposed to be a hobby room/office for both of us.
The dog's a puppy still, and played rough with the cats, so my fiance said they should stay in the hobby room until they're big enough. Okay fine, I said "Once they're big enough though we're moving the cat box to the bathroom, I don't want the room to be a cat room".
The room I am in is known now as the cat room. I've tried to diplomatically say 'hey, c'mon now, they're old enough let's move them out'. It's particularly important because my music equipment is in here. They've knocked over amps, damaging them. They've eaten two power cables. They completely destroyed my computer chair, the window blinds. Knocked over my guitar and chipped it. Shredded my sheet music, and chewed holes in my piano pedal cable, and the cables of my expensive mixing headset. My school work gets batted off the desk, they knock things off that my dog eventually thinks is cool to eat. So on so forth. I try to express my frustration of it, but it falls on deaf ears because I feel it just doesn't affect her. The only way I can see me getting them out of the room is making a huge thing of it and moving everything out. I feel really claustrophobic.
Not to mention the cat box is 2 feet from me. One of them just took a shit.
A lot more goes into saying it, but it really feels she cares more about the cats than me. The rule of no pets in bedroom? Broken. Cats on table? Broken. The side room becoming a cat room? Broken.
We have a strained relationship already, and suffice it to say sexy time happens like seasons change. Last night I finally got fed up because we finally got to have a little sexy time before bed, and this cat was shut out of the room and wouldn't stop meowing, because she allows them in the bedroom. "Aww she just wants some lovin, poor thing" she'd say. "Aww she just wants to be with us," "Can you get up to see if the cat room's door is open? Completely obliterated any mood I had. Came back, and after laying there for a few moments took my pillow and thought "Fine, you can sleep with your cats instead", and slept on the couch.
AITA for being upset about any of this? My finace makes it seem like I'm being unreasonable and imposing on the cats, or otherwise doesn't listen to me about how I feel or want to be accommodated about it all.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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SEAE0lMHg2Lthdb29LWXhF8BooT56eno
|
awomty
|
{
"description": "telling my aunt she has to pay for what her son stole from me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling my aunt she has to pay for what her son stole from me?
|
My aunt lives in a different country than I do and I occasionally visit her. After I graduated college, I decided I had a little bit of time off and decided to spend a couple of weeks at her place. I should add that she has 2kids (my cousins). One of them is around my age and he’s an overall great kid with a lovely family. The other one is about 7years my senior and an overall deadbeat. He didn’t go to college, doesn’t have a job, isn’t allowed to see his daughter because he doesn’t pay child support, but his parents let him live in their place completely free...
Anyway, I know what a dick he is, so i never visit my aunt if he’s staying with her. he’s been to jail, and even stole around 400$ from me (he never admitted to it, but it was him), so I don’t want to be around him. This time, she completely caught me off guard and didn’t inform me that he was staying there until I literally saw him at her house when I arrived. I couldn’t change my ticket, so I obliged to stay there.
A friend orders a mobile phone and has it delivered to my aunt’s house. When it arrived, I tell my aunt i’m gonna give it to her other son, but she disagrees and wants me to give it to her, so I do as she says.
Before I leave, I ask her for the phone, she immediately goes to get it and she gives me a bag with a couple other things (phone cover, speakers) but the phone isn’t there. I tell her that the phone isn’t there. She starts freaking out and asks her deadbeat son. He starts insulting her and screaming at her, so she gives up. She asks me how much the phone cost and I look up the price and tell her that it’s 1000$. However, my friend bought it on sale for about 750$.
About 3days before I leave, I ask her what she’s gonna do about the stolen phone; she literally tells me that it isn’t fair that she has to pay 1000$ when my friend paid less for it, so she’s gonna give me 700$ and I should just tell my friend what happened. I immediately get annoyed and tell her, in a very calm way I must say, that I’m not leaving the country without the phone and if I have to, I’ll miss my flight. She gets mad at me and tells me that I shouldn’t talk to her like that (I never raised my voice ir anything), but she doesn’t just have 1000$ to spend on a phone.
After a couple days, my cousin (the good kid), gave her 1000$ out of his money and I bought the phone. My cousin sided with me, but my aunt thinks I was an asshole to her son and I disrespected her for demanding payment, but I think anyone would’ve done that. So, was I the asshole?
Tl;dr: aunt’s deadbeat son stole a new phone that wasn’t even mine and I demanded that I wasn’t leaving without having the phone back.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a9t1w3
| null |
WIBTA if I - falsely - told my daughter's paternal grandmother that she might not be her son's biological child?
|
I'm pretty certain that I'm an asshole here, but I don't think I'm *the* asshole. I'm certainly a long-winded one, if I'm anything. TL;DR at the end.
**Exposition:**
When I was a young adult, I was in an incredibly abusive relationship with a man in his mid twenties. His abuse ranged from slaps and punches to cheating and flaunting it. It was emotional, financial, and physical for years, but I was naive without a support system or a sense of self worth, hence the 'years'. I would seek advice from his mom, who would minimize his actions and urge me back into his arms.
When I was in my early twenties, I got pregnant and had a daughter. Two days after she was born, I was visted by Child Protective Services in the hospital to make sure we weren't going home alone with him - he had been involved with law enforcement during my pregnancy for *what I thought* were his two suicide attempts during my pregnancy. It was an entire mess and I didn't pry into what he was actually doing while I was otherwise occupied - it was a high risk pregnancy with a long, arduous recovery. He was living with his mother and I, with mine, and his mother hid his arrests from me.
When I moved back in with him and his mom a few months later, with my infant daughter, it didn't take him long to get arrested again for a misdemeanor sexual crime. He got out of jail, I ended our relationship, and he immediately "tried to kill himself" *again*, for the sixth or seventh time in the same number of years. When I didn't have the appropriate emotional meltdown, his mother told me to move out the following week. When I packed my things and left, she called members of her family to physically stop me. I had to threaten to call the police for *false imprisonment* to get them to let me leave.
There was perhaps one short visit before they started to demand overnight visits. The man who had just gotten arrested for a sexual crime in the middle of the night and a woman who couldn't mind my daughter so I could take a twenty minute bathroom break because of 'vertigo' began to demand overnight visits with a breastfed eight month old infant.
I said that it was something that required a lot more time and discussion and they responded with custody threats. Luckily for me, I had saved the number of the social worker who had visited me in the hospital, and she told me not to release my daughter into their care until a custody order was in place - without one, they could just decide not to return my child to me and I wouldn't have any legal recourse to get her back unless I paid both an attorney and court costs.
I asked them to begin the court proceedings - due to their better financial standing - and until a custody agreement was reached, visits would have to be put on hold. He responded by threatening to kill me or burn down my house. She threatened me with legal action, but I never received any court summons.
**Present Day:**
It's been over five years now, and I haven't had any contact with my daughter's biological father. He pays no child support and is currently in jail for a felony sex crime involving a child and is awaiting his trial [to label him a sexually violent offender](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_violent_predator_laws). He has no parental rights and will likely be leaving jail when my daughter is older than I am now.
My daughter is doing very well. She attends a nice charter school on a scholarship and wants to be an astronomer and a Time Lord when she grows up. I met a wonderful man with a daughter of his own and he's been around for four years exactly this Friday. His family treats my daughter like she's family, which she is. His mom takes us on vacation every year before school. His aunt sent us home with at least like twenty pounds of lasagna on Christmas Eve. They've shown us nothing but incredible kindness. We want for nothing in terms of family and my partner and I are at the point where he has a ring that he's - very poorly - hiding from me.
My daughter has the memory of my late mother, my father, my partner's father, his mother, *and* his step father, not to mention aunts and uncles that adore and kinda spoil her.
Holidays are perfect... Except one thing. *Her*. It's not always her, though. Sometimes it's her friend, or other times it's her other son's girlfriend, or sometimes she makes new profiles to bother me. I've blocked her profiles, her family, her family's family. I've changed my name, removed my full name, reported and deleted and *I'm exhausted*.
They beg and plead and bargain and cry to see my daughter *every Christmas Eve*. Not only that, they ask to see her "for just a few hours" on Christmas Day like I don't have plans and we just sit at home doing nothing on Christmas.
Every year, no matter what they come at me with, I respond with, "I don't think it's in [daughter]'s best interest for her to meet with strangers at such a transitional point in her life," and then block the profile. Rinse and repeat next year.
It's a line, and I know it's a line, but I have no intention to release my daughter into the care of a woman party to some of the worst abuse I've ever experienced, and who minimizes her son's very serious crimes.
I haven't replied this year, and I'm honestly considering telling her that I'm not actually sure who my daughter's father is. He was openly cheating on me around the time of her conception, and I could easily say that I retaliated by seeing other people and there are multiple candidates for the fatherhood. Sow the seed of doubt and hope they lose interest. They accused me of the same at a couple if points, so they've already had the thought.
So, Reddit, if I go through with this, I know I'll be a liar, but will I be an asshole, too?
TL;DR: I had a child with an abusive man. He's in jail for a long period of time. His mom, who helped hom abuse me, wants to visit my daughter every Christmas. Would I be an asshole if I told her that I possibly conceived my child with a side piece?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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pZLxNrZAel4vApuNK3scj8lGy0zUV7Iq
|
9ykkl5
|
{
"description": "wanting to spend Thanksgiving alone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA-For wanting to spend Thanksgiving alone.
|
So my parents are going to a family friends house instead of doing a meal. I've been invited to that Thanksgiving and it's going to be a big celebration. I have also been invited to a couple other celebrations with other friends. But if I'm being honest a whole day to myself doing nothing but ordering some Chinese, drinking beer, and watching football sounds like a super nice treat. I have a very demanding job and my weekends are always full of errands and social obligations. It's rare that I could get two days where I get to just sweatpants and chill.
I guess I feel like I'm being an ungrateful dick if I were to decline these invites to spend the holiday alone because I know many people are forced to spend the holidays alone who don't want to be alone. But man does a day alone sound way better than having to go through the motions with a bunch of distant relatives/family friends.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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bFunEmG5sA132cY2XaQEkqSMstsjxcrp
|
b0dcrp
|
{
"description": "telling kids to become a garbage man",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA I told kids to become a garbage man
|
Currently having an arguement with a friend and I thought what better way to solve this than posting it on here.
I am a teacher at a school for students with social/emotional disabilities. We have 20 yo students who will just barely make it out of high school. I told my friend that last year I suggested to a few students they could pursue being a garbage man. My friend asked "why would you do that. Tell them to get into STEM."
"Why wouldn't I tell kids making potentially $80k/year, retiring with benefits without going to college is an option?"
My thinking is this, at least in my school, I know which kids are already destined for STEM, They like science technology and math, they aren't at my school because they aren't academically studious. I'm not telling those kids not to go after their dreams. I'm talking about the kid that absolutely won't make it through 4 years of college.as sad as that may sound, it's a fact. They can't concentrate, they don't do homework, they have a plethora of social and emotional disabilities that inhibit their potential. I like to think I try to give that student hope by helping them understand there are careers out there that don't require you to go to college. My friend sees it differently.
"Anyone can get into STEM at any age".
"Maybe students should have been told to get into STEM when they were in high school."
His reasoning is for higher pay ceilings, because of aspiration. "How can you tell kids not to have aspirations". He says you can get into any entry level IT position without college. And the point is to build a skill set to leverage and build upon. Which I get and understand. But to me, not everyone has that drive to be something or be a millionaire. A lot of my kids literally live everyday with a survival mentality.
"As a teacher, isn't your job to get these children to want to learn?" He says my job isn't to enable that mentality to be complacent. And by me telling my students to become garbage men, that's exactly what I am doing.
I have a hard enough time as it is trying to get them to listen to me. They're high school students, they know way more than me (sarcasm), but that's how they really think.
My friend says an IT helpdesk person makes $30k but they have a clear path to potentially make hundreds of thousands in their lifetime. And a garbage man doesn't have that path.
So, am I the asshole for not helping these kids see what they can potentially be? According to my friend, my telling even 1 student that it's ok to be a garbage man is too many.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
j3vn0moTgm7niMuJDEyWXnqiiJiqQAha
|
aauho8
|
{
"description": "buying what I want",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for buying what I want?
|
So, a few weeks before Christmas, my Mother asks me to make a Christmas list for my relatives. I didn't want my relatives to pay a lotta money on me, so I put a few cheap things I kinda wanted but was too lazy to buy. Come Christmas, I get everything except two things. No big deal, I was happy and respectful, and we had a nice Christmas. One of those things that I didn't get was a phone button thing that helps you grip your phone, and I kinda wanted it. So I go to my local target and get one on sale for a few bucks. Nothing wrong, right?
Well, my relatives and I met again the day after the day after Christmas (27th). My aunt sees the grip and asks if I bought it. I tell her yes, she says cool. And everyone except her Hispanic maid Maraina (I think that's how you spell it.) seemed fine with it. Little later, she comes up to me and tells my How "rude" it was to do that. I say "what are you talking about?" she went on a weird rant on how it was "disrespectful" buying it was. How much of a "brat" I was. And how it, in her opinion, seems like I gave the message that they couldn't "satisfy" me. I then told her exactly where she could shove her opinions and left. She then started screaming after me as I left about how "bad" I was. I told this to my aunt who later booted her.
AITA in any way, shape, or form?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
UwRyrLcezP4yG7tKWEwIirWrCWvtgbun
|
akjuay
|
{
"description": "caring for some else's child",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for caring for some else's child?
|
My dad's girlfriend moved in recently, and she brought her daughter. Neither are native speakers, and as the only person proficient in english, I have to help her with her assignments. It is not uncommon to spend 3 hours on half a sheet of math homework. Due to our economic situation, the mother is hardly home due to work, nor is my dad. I have to provide rules and such for this girl. She's hopelessly addicted to what technology we have, spending hours upon hours on YouTube (quite humorously complaining that she doesn't get enough time on the program, if i'm not home she will spend 10 hours straight on it, from 2 to 12 or later), and commonly deciding to watch YouTube instead of doing assignments. I have my own work to do, so I don't have the capability to always be aware of when she has assignments to do, I rely on her telling me about them. She much rather lie and spend all day goofing off, and then complain and cry when I try to keep her technology use in check. I have, as of late, tried to correct this behavior: an elementary school child should not be sleeping at 11/12 everyday, which is partly due to the fact she insists on sleeping with her mother's phone (although she claims to be using it as an alarm, the walls aren't thick honey, we can all hear the YouTube.) The main issue is that if she isn't distracted by technology 24/7 she cries and acts up, especially late at night. The mother rather rot her mind with technology than deal with her, and my dad could care less. So am i the asshole for removing her technology when I realize she's been using it excessively? Am I the asshole for essentially policing this child because no one else will? My dad tells me to stop worrying, or literally "stop killing yourself over this kid". But I feel that if something isn't done soon, her life is as good as forfeit , as I see this excessive usage leading quite nicely to poor outcomes in life.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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SLetyCUsWhWJhXNRPlnw28BJc7q3gh4s
|
9unu7w
|
{
"description": "disliking my boyfriend's mom",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for disliking my boyfriend's mom?
|
We're together for over a year and I have met his family on multiple occasions.
Now, she's not a bad person or treats me badly.
Problem is, it's super boring to me to go there for several reasons. First is, the only person who really makes conversation is his mom but she'll ask some courtesy questions and then she'll only really talk to my boyfriend. Second, my personality clashes with his mom's. While she is extremely feminine and social, I tend to be more of a tomboy and am usually more quiet, so we just don't get along that well. Third thing is, his family has a lot of money. Not filthy rich but definitely wealthy. Often times, she will be talking about spending money in a way that makes me super uncomfortable because she's pretty oblivious and judgy on how middle class people (like my family) live their lives.
Summed up, I feel pretty uncomfortable when visiting/meeting up and try to avoid it as much as I can.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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1maWr7AXtFYeVoPOjJi6FHMhADLGu4rK
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afa4a9
|
{
"description": "telling my mother I don't care about my brother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my mother i don't care about my brother
|
Here's some context into why i feel this way about my brother.
I grew up with my father and step-mother who had custody of me and my older brother Kyle(fake name) my mother got to have us every other weekend. I grew up loving my brother we spent countless hours playing D&D and video games together. When i was about 10 him 12 he got caught masturbating into my step-mothers underwear. My father was furious so he got some licks but nothing very brutal. Because of this my parents agreed to have us both have visit with a Psychiatrist. I didn't understand any of it at the time i grew up with a fair share of medical issues so i was in and out of the hospital so i just went with the flow. Kyle had a temper when we fought often over small petty things like video game deaths bad rolls he would get very physical so it often came to blows but we would resolve it our self's . About a year after the first incident with my step-mother underwear he got caught doing it again. Once again he got some licks but this time my father kicked him out of the house and had him live with our grandmother. Because of my parents jobs i too went to live with my grandmother about a year later. once we started high school he started dating a girl online and in doing so basically stopped doing anything with me at all. I stayed pretty quiet about it but it upset me a lot, so one time at our mother's we got into a little argument and i called him some names that i really can't remember and brought up how is girlfriend is making him a shitty person, he tackled me to the ground and held a screwdriver to my neck, my step father and step-brother pulled him off of me, from the look in his eyes to this day i think if they didn't pull him off he would have killed me. we moved back into our father's when i was 15 him 17 both of us riding motorcycles to high school that my father had gotten for us. I was still trying to have a relation ship with him i tried playing cards(MTG) more D&D, battle tech, but he was glued to his phone with his girlfriend. So we lost any sort of a relationship. During our high school time he was caught humping my pillow and it was the last straw for my father and me. He was kicked out of the house my father offered him the motorcycle title and keys before he left but he refused and told us to fuck off. About a week after his departure i was organizing my room, we shared a room, and found an unfamiliar journal. I noticed after the first page it had a date and he was describing how his day went. I flipped to the middle and found something really disturbing. He was talking about his sexual fantasy's. He wanted to tie his girlfriend to the bed and rape here, I'm paraphrasing it was very very detailed. I showed this to my parents and they were equally disturbed. I decided i was done with Kyle he made no attempt to respond to my text or spend any time after school with me, the only thing he cared about was that girl. My mother kept a relationship with him for a while until they fell off when he thought that she had given my grandparents his phone number when it was actually me, and i had told him this, but he didn't care. He's dropped all contact with anyone in his family. I'm 24 now and the other day on the phone my mother brought up how she wanted to see him again and talk and say she's sorry, to which i just responded uh huh, yeah i hear you. Then she asked how i felt. I told he i don't care about him. To me he's gone from my life and that was his choice as much as mine i made my efforts i forgave many of his wrongdoings but he wouldn't make any attempts for anyone but his girlfriend My mother was pretty taken about by this and asked me if i even cared about him to which i said no i despise him. She just resigned to that and said that despite what he's done she'd forgive him and wants him back in his life, and i just said good luck with that, don't tell him where i live.
Am i the ass hole here? i understand she's a mother and has a connection and she doesn't want to hear her son talk like that but i just want nothing to do with him and never want to speak with him.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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WwnM7nuGs5DXW2u9nZTFdsqEn9eFhfIr
|
b3dtn3
|
{
"description": "telling my bf that maths is used in engineering",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling my bf that maths is used in engineering
|
I'm not even 100% sure what the specific apprenticeship was but it was vehical engineering related because he was talking about how he knows how to fix an engine and do X and Y.
He was frustrated, I think, that in applying for an apprenticeship he had to do an online test with a lot of written maths questions. He sent me one and I worked out the answer fairly quickly for him. He checked and double checked all his answers but I think it took him longer than the test expects so he was annoyed and probably anxious he wouldn't get the apprenticeship.
He was complaining maths has nothing to do with engineering and it was stupid to have to do a test on it.
I disagreed, and said that maths probably has a lot of use and he got angry at me and decided to exit the phone call, now I feel bad.
I'm worried I was a little insensitive.
He's got maths-dyslexia as well as normal-dyslexia so he probably found the test more difficult and I probably take for granted my own academic 'abilities' and come off snobby sometimes.
I just thought that it's true, and if he really wants to get work in engineering he should brush up his cognative maths a bit.
But maybe I should've let him just vent his frustration.
Bit of a long one for a simple problem I guess,
AITA?
Tl;dr bf annoyed that engineering apprenticeship had maths test, isn't good at maths, complained engineering is nothing to do with maths. I disagreed, should I have agreed and let him vent?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
uWMH7v8rR2CUd5Bp2eBay9a3Jgjnp0SE
|
b7txyk
|
{
"description": "calling my sister a fake vegan",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 125
}
|
AITA for calling my sister a fake vegan?
|
My sister and I are both vegan, though she has been for much longer. She recently made the assertion that it's fine to not ask if something has dairy/eggs/etc. if there isn't any other possible vegan option to eat when traveling. I thought that was irresponsible as a vegan, and that she was being lazy. Her response was that I was being too militant and enforcing my ideas on her. I'm not budging from my position of 100% veganism being the goal, and she is not budging from the position of not bothering to find out if something is vegan when she isn't sure.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 120,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 125
}
|
WRONG
|
OoMvcYxqaHzwZvFQ6D6qDj4ICOMneuAu
|
avn409
|
{
"description": "not wanting my roommate's girlfriend to move in for three months rent free",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my roommate's girlfriend to move in for three months rent free?
|
I'm 23 and have been living in New York City for about 7 months with three of my best friends (all male) from college. All is great, right? It was until one of my roommates (let's call him Michael) recently asked us about having his girlfriend live with us this upcoming summer. She's still an undergrad but is going to be taking summer classes in the City. Michael broached the topic and mentioned that she'd pay for Wifi and electricity so that'd be fair since she'd be sleeping in his room with him. One of my other roommates and I thought that was a huge ask of it, especially considering we pay nearly $1900 in rent per person (so the $30 she'd be paying for utilities is nothing more than a drop in the bucket anyways.)
​
It's partially a money thing because I and my other roommate who oppose this don't think it's fair that we're cramming an extra person in our already tight, expensive apartment without her paying for barely anything. We obviously wouldn't make her split the rent evenly, but if she were to chip in that'd make things way more likely for us to get behind the idea. I get she'd be sleeping with her boyfriend but there's still common space, bathrooms, etc. But money aside, we thought this was an incredibly big (potentially unfair?) question to ask of us and when we voiced our concerns, he got SUPER defensive and said that we were greedy, rude people and that he wouldn't give a fuck if he were in our shoes. I really do like him and his girlfriend but I feel like I'm completely justified in this situation. He got so mad I almost just want to let him have his way because it's not worth losing a friend over something like this. Nevertheless, if you poll 10 people on the street, surely the majority would have qualms about this situation if they were in my shoes. Right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
a5B1gSByjUHvxl4bUvR1c5pSYTCnHnoi
|
aq9yy3
|
{
"description": "not kicking my close friend and her fiancee out, despite the crazy stuff they've done",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not kicking my close friend and her fiancee out, despite the crazy stuff they've done?
|
Warning, this is kind of a long story so I'll try to be brief but include the necessary details
I've been friends with this girl since we were 14 (call her R). We went to different high schools and never saw each other much after graduation but kept in contact on social media.
This past October, she calls me out of the blue and says she's in Orlando where I had been living for the past four years, but she and her fiancee (we'll call her N) need a place to stay because the lady they moved in with had a psychotic break and threw them out at 3am in the middle of Pine Hills. We let them move in with us but make it clear that we're moving to Melbourne in a month and they're welcome to come with us, but we won't be in Orlando much longer.
So we all end up moving into my and my fiance's new apartment. They also need to bring their dog and cat because the guy that was watching them in another town had to move to somewhere he couldn't take them.
So the final tally is me, my fiance, my friend R, her fiancee N, their intact male and female cats that have to be kept separated, their dog, plus our dog and seven cats that have to be kept in our bedroom because their dog is untrained and a moron.
Since October all of the following has happened:
-Found out I was pregnant
-N came at me while I was 5 weeks pregnant because we got in a shouting match and I choked her out (because I'm an amateur mixed martial artist and jfc I'm not gonna fight someone while I'm pregnant)
-Found out N has a misdemeanor warrant out of Texas for theft of service
-Found out N also has a misdemeanor warrant out of Minnesota for violation of probation stemming from an assault charge at a bar
-N and R broke our hallway closet door because of one of their arguments (which they will be paying for)
-N and R fight CONSTANTLY, ranging from annoyed disagreements to screaming so loud I'm afraid the cops are going to be called
-Their cats broke the living room blinds (which they will also be paying for)
-Their female cat may be pregnant because for some reason they haven't spent the $20 at a low cost clinic to spay or neuter one of them
I have no problem with R as she has not done anything to wrong us or annoy us. N is the root of all the issues. I feel bad that anything we inflict on N will come back to R but at the same time when you're a couple you're responsible for each other decisions and need to think about how your actions are going to affect more than just you.
I told them by June when I reach 6 months they need to be out with absolutely no exceptions and that I don't give a damn what their situation is.
Am I being too lenient or AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
uMd0JVRYVFvPFooNCGFGqEcvqlfUxFZb
|
afe84p
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to my best friend for a long time",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to my best friend for a long time?
|
First of all, I'm sorry if there's any grammatical errors, I'm not a native speaker. Also, this is my second post so please bear with me if I'm doing something wrong.
A little bit of context : I've been friends with my Alex for more than 15 years already, we're both 19.
So, two weeks ago he was in a relationship with a girl that is a little bit slow on the uptake.
That relationship was really toxic btw, she loved him a lot, but he didn't reciprocate that love mainly because she kept disappointing him with lies.
He always sent me screeshots of her asking "What are you doing?" while it is written that he is playing a game on Discord and he hated it, he always responded with "What do you think I'm doing?".
The relationship also changed him, he became less patient and cynical, and ever since they broke up he kept this personality.
Back to my story :
Last friday I asked him what he was doing (he told me that he was going to his mom's house the day before), and he responded with his "What do think i'm doing?"(He usually doesn't talk like that).
As I'm too lazy to describe everything here are the pictures of our discussion with translations : [https://imgur.com/a/bZtsiMQ](https://imgur.com/a/bZtsiMQ)
​
At the end I didn't even bother replying to him, I just went to sleep and I haven't talked to him since.
And since then I've been thinking, what if it is my fault and I'm just an asshole who can't tolerate criticism?
I know this may be petty but it is important to me, am I an asshole for being mad at my best friend and not wanting to talk to him?
​
​
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
UDlboBI7CurDFSWrjZgBrN2g02Shm4IW
|
b1cl01
|
{
"description": "transferring to another dorm room because I can't stand my roommate, effectively forcing him to move with someone else or live alone",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for transferring to another dorm room because I can't stand my roommate, effectively forcing him to move with someone else or live alone?
|
During my first semester in October I used to travel every week from my home town to my dorm room every Tuesday. He had invited people and they apparently had a party up until 3AM and the surrounding dorm phoned the manager of all the pandemonium they were making. That was a on Monday, when I’m not there. So, I'm on the bus Tuesday morning and I get a call from the dorm administrator/governor to pack my shit and leave, because *we* “have risen the place to the sky” with our commotion. Long story short, I sorted that out but I don’t know how much they believed me. Either way, that was my first warning. Another one and I’m out. Great.
Allow me to paint you a picture now. You can call me a snowflake like I wouldn’t know, but I've been trying to move out since then. He comes home at 2 or 5AM every night piss drunk, vomits on the floor, disrupts my sleep by turning on the lights, browsing on his phone, listening to songs, never cleans, never wipes the floor, the smell just hits me every time I come from lectures, the dorm would be a disgusting mess if I didn't clean. The only table there is inside the room is filled with his food and I prefer not to have my notes and books smelly and stained from food.
But I. fucking. did. it. I am out. I don't have to live with him anymore and my new roommate is a gift from God himself.
Economically speaking I can't afford to live in anything besides a dorm so that's out of the question. I've even thought about just waking up at 5:30 in the morning and catching the first train so I can travel back and forth from city to city.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
N03jwvVnXta621Jv5Cy5bjnM54lVCYzl
|
9y3rdu
| null |
AITA for feeling?
|
I've noticed lots of posts here asking "am I the asshole for feeling hurt/angry/upset?" and I wanted to respond.
Having a feeling does not make you an asshole. You are allowed to have feelings, even if other people don't like them, and there is only so much control you have over raw emotion in the first place. There's no need to be guilty about feeling something. Now, making rash choices because of your emotions can make you an asshole. Blowing up on someone undeserving can make you an asshole.
When writing a post, be sure to ask the question of whether the action resulting from your emotion was asslike, not the emotion itself!
It's not only efficient, it warrants more straightforward, honest responses from commenters. It keeps you responsible for accepting that you were an asshole (if you were) instead of looking for pity
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
oy7qcjH1dIJcVL5DPxfBJFf6NxW4iNzO
|
a8r2bw
|
{
"description": "thinking it's selfish of my friend to not negotiate events for a competition with me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking it's selfish of my friend to not negotiate events for a competition with me?
|
Sorry for the title. My friend and I are both actively involved in speech and debate at our school, and we host a tournament every February. This year, we take four competitors for each event, and the one that does the worst gets cut for our **serious** competition in March, which we travel for. However, I got cut from my old event because my coach didn't want to take a team of four seniors to our competition. However, my friend, who is an underclassman, got into the event. I thought that this would be a quickly resolved issue, because my backup event's last slot was between her and me. I talked to her about the fact I could help her get to our serious competition with my old event because I had experience and could coach her so I could be in the other event, but she's still not willing to budge because she says she likes both. Tournament rules forbid any person from doing those two events together, because of scheduling issues.
I've expressed my concerns to some of my friends, and gotten mixed reactions. AITA for thinking this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
l909dC8EK4ELHIqIFSoqcU3r8gYL2skt
|
avv88x
|
{
"description": "burning my friend's minecraft house down",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I burn my friend's minecraft house down?
|
My friend burnt my house down in minecraft and burnt all my valuable items and blamed it on some random person. I got in touch with that person and it turns out he DIDN'T burn my house down. I confronted my friend telling him I know he was the one who burnt my house down and he's like so what? what are you gonna do about it? it's just minecraft get over it! I know it's minecraft but I put REAL LIFE TIME into that stuff and so I asked him how would you feel if burnt down your house and your valuables? He said he wouldn't care he'd just rebuild his house and get new stuff. I was so angry! SO BASICALLY my friend burns down my house and resets all my hard work and to save his ass he blames it on this poor kid for what!? just cause he felt like causing me trouble?! Would I really be the asshole if I give him a taste of his own medicine?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
J3RnfcIZ2PLx6Yaa9pHqgKj7gAOuoDAi
|
afazjq
|
{
"description": "saying Shhhhh at the movie theatre",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying Shhhhh at the movie theatre
|
Wife and I went to see Aquaman last night. We went to a 10pm showing and decided to try out D-Box (moving seats) for the first time as well.
So 15 minutes into the movie after the trailers are finished a family of 4 walks in which consists of a boy no more than 10 and a girl the same age and what I can only assume is the grandmother and father. Several times during the movie the boy was speaking out loud not even whispering, and getting overly excited about the action onscreen and the movement from the D-Box. I was distracted and getting irritated and could tell others around me were getting irritated as they were murmuring under their breath. People behind started to shhh and that prompted the parents to try and calm him down non chalantly. It didnt seem like they really cared or gave up trying to quiet him down. About half way through the movie I had enough, I can't hear what Kal Drogo is saying and I was really annoyed. I said out loud 'SHHHHHHHH' and that was enough for the flood gates to open as the father just looks at me and shoots me a look, and I continued to say "people paid to see this movie and your child is being loud and distracting" the little boy then starts to cry and the family get up to leave. As they're walking out, the father looks back and leans over to my seat and says to me " thanks asshole" and walks down the down stairs and out the theatre. I felt pretty bad about it.
TLDR: AITA for telling a family shhhhh after other people tried and then telling the father their child is being loud and distracting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
i6MsUDt2FMiCZeLaH4tLc8OOgRqSmtrG
|
a3nrd3
|
{
"description": "asking my neighbors to keep the volume down when they have family and friends over",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my neighbors to keep the volume down when they have family and friends over?
|
I know that this already seems like a fairly straightforward question, but I feel that there a few things that could skew the situation in either direction.
For context, I’m a senior college student swimming in the midst of finals right now. I’ve admittedly been having a tough time with the amount of coursework I’ve been keeping up with. I have three studios, two other classes, and an incomplete from last semester that I’ve been working on concurrently. I think that situational stress, anxiety, and depression (I see a therapist so please don’t think I’m trying to pull those diagnoses out my ass) are clouding my judgement, so I wanted to ask a wider audience about the situation.
I live in an apartment complex. Several months ago the neighbors directly adjacent to us moved out after rent got hiked up. A new neighbor of course moved in, but I honestly cannot stand her and the family she has over constantly.
It seems that her and all of her adult friends/family smoke, so there is constantly somebody hacking up a lung immediately outside of my door, which I tolerate since that’s something technically out of their control. But, another consequence of them all being smokers is that they’re all constantly gathering right in front of our doors (their door is situated very close to mine) and having conversations that are typically so loud that I can clearly hear them through my door. They have also started bringing over young children who constantly yell and have tantrums. The noise happens most often from around 6:00 pm to 11:00/12:00 pm give or take a few hours.
There have been three separate occasions where I have asked this woman’s guests to quiet down. I think that it’s the fact that the people who are causing the noise don’t actually live here that irritates me. The latest occurrence was yesterday morning (9:30 am) when I was studying and having breakfast before classes. I was drinking coffee when somebody started pounding on their door (which of course, sounds like pounding on my door). The knocking was so loud and violent that it sounded like police having a drug bust. I opened my door, and a high school age girl was standing at their door, presumably a friend of the neighbors daughter. I opened the door, told her to stop, and closed it again to continue my breakfast.
That night when I came back from my classes, the neighbor had posted a note on her door with a fat red ‘warning’ sign on the top. I unfortunately don’t have a picture, but the basic gist of the sign is that she’s old and sick (she’s maybe in her mid-forties to mid-fifties, but since she smokes it’s hard to tell) and that she has family over a lot because of that. She also wrote that curfew is at 10:00 pm, which makes me think she believes her and her family have the right to be as loud as they want until then. She ended the note saying that anybody who had an issue should go to management, which I’m tempted to do. The note irritates me because I had the courtesy of talking to her directly in person about the issue, and she retorted with a passive aggressive note that was pretty obviously directed towards me since I believe I’m the only one who has confronted her about the noise.
I know that noise from neighbors is a part of living in an apartment situation, but I also believe that it’s their responsibility to be respectful neighbors which includes any family or friends that happen to be visiting as well. Noise from other people is a major stressor for me, and I have no way to escape from their noise as it carries as far as the bedroom at times. I didn’t think I was being particularly rude when asking her and her family/friends to quiet down (except in the last incident, I was definitely cranky), but her note on the door makes me feel like I may be wrong.
TL;DR
My new-ish neighbors have their family and friends over constantly and they have no volume control (in my opinion). I asked them to keep the noise down, but was given an indirect note about how she had family visiting because she was sick and that curfew was at 10:00 pm and that I should take any issues I had with them to management.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
our6zzICYyguQ8rb7Qb2idD9wZRzVgdM
|
aqvbfp
|
{
"description": "hanging out in a video chat room, even though I'm married",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for hanging out in a video chat room, even though I'm married?
|
Throwaway because my reddit name is a bit similar to my chat name. Tldr in the end.
When my husband and me started dating, we spent some time as LDR. I'm an introvert and just started living alone again and sometimes would go a few days without seeing another humans face. So I started to go into a video chat room, which had a loose purpose for dating. A little bit, but not really. It's more like a big friends group and dating doesn't really happen (which they make fun of themselves). Most of them have been in this room for years and even met each other IRL, send each other birthday presents and such. It's really just a bunch of introverts hanging out. Also, dating was never my intention. It was just really nice to have the window open while I'm at home doing my stuff and have some human interaction.
I told my husband about it and he came online. Yeah, of course that's when only men were online (it's actually pretty much 50/50 M/F), including one or the other who tend to make dirty jokes. And yes, some people don't wear shirts. And my husband is a bit on the jealous side and thought I'm there to get guys attention, or at the very least, guys trying to flirt me (which never happened and I clearly and often state my relationship status). Also he had a problem with me camming up and showing my face. I told him girls are there, I'm not the only one and that he should come there again another time. He did, but he said the people there, no matter the gender, look like losers to him and I shouldn't hang out with people like that, who stay home all day.
I told him my reasons to go there, but it made him feel bad, because it gave him the impression that he's not enough for me and that he can't properly care for my emotions, especially when he's gone and far away. He blamed himself for not calling me enough. I couldn't make him understand that it's not about calling him several times a day, but that I like to have the feeling of being part of a group, hang out, listen to peoples stories or whatever and basically just not be alone at home 24/7, which makes me really anxious and feeds my depression.
After a bit back and forth, we agreed that it's fine to go there, though I compromised to not camming up. The whole issue was so dragging and dramatic that I simply stopped going there.
Now I started missing those people actually because there were some girls I really got along with. So I started going back and also cammed up. I didn't tell my husband.
I thought I just go there a bit and leave again but yeah... I'm hooked. I really like it, okay? So I want to tell my husband because that dragging feeling of anxiousness if he ever finds out is killing me.
I know ITA for not telling him, but AITA for going there in the first place?
TL;DR: I'm secretly going to a chat room with strangers from all over the world, but husband doesn't like it. I'm doing it anyways.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
mLl01UFkoIR15egnikSnUnrXOg9on6wz
|
b678lo
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to the UAE",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to the UAE?
|
My (21M) best friend (22F) wants to visit the UAE during holidays for whatever reason. She doesn't want to go alone and I'm pretty much the only one who could come along (finances, holiday dates, willingness to travel). Normally I'd jump up and say yes immediately because I usually struggle to find people to travel with as well, but for me the UAE are off limits.
I'm a law student and I've become quite obsessed with laws (obviously lol), so even if a law is not enforced, if the punishment is too high I view it as if it were enforced very strictly, because "not enforced" just means you submit yourself to the arbitrariness of the local authorities if you violate said law.
Now I know that lots of people probably travel to the UAE together as unmarried couples, for business trips or whatever, but I will absolutely never enter a country that has the legal authority to arrest you for poppy seeds stuck on your shoes (actually happened to a Swiss guy) or that bases it's legal system on sharia law or similarly strict codes (e.g. China is a no-go-zone for me as well because of the VPN ban, I feel entitled to my privacy). I told my friend I would absolutely never go there with her (I wouldn't go alone either) and she got pissed because 1) I'm the only one who could and 2) I'm being overly cautious. She knows I'd go if it wasn't for the law. AITA for not going for these reasons?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
wHYj7T28d4RxfzhQDkL4RMCy9EDIJwG5
|
afzk6g
|
{
"description": "mentally rolling my eyes every time I see a sob story online",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for mentally rolling my eyes every time I see a sob story online?
|
Every time I see any sort of sob story anywhere, whether it be on a TV show, or Reddit, or any other social media, I think "God, doesn't this person have something better to do than beg anonymous people online for emotional support?" I understand if it's your close friends, and you ask them for advice on how to handle it. But I'm seeing more often people just spouting out depressing shit and not asking for any particular help, other than to just get attention. For example, every time I watch a show like The Voice, every other damn person is up on the camera and says something (with tears in their eyes) like "My mother gave me up for adoption when I was young" or "My parents kicked me out for being gay." Obviously these are horrible things to happen, but do you really want the whole world to know about it?
I'll maybe see a random comment on YouTube that says something like "This reminds me of the time my dad died.." and it has 10k up votes. Every time I see these I cringe. I can't help it, mainly because I think people just say these things, whether they are true or not, for attention.
Am I the only one who thinks this? But my main question for you is, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
lFclrSXSfkRRL6sjK2Jz8Z1LoKZUrUVN
|
9xwwjh
|
{
"description": "ditching my friend and cutting ties",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I ditched my friend and cut ties?
|
I sound like the asshole in the title, but let me elaborate. Let's call her Beth.
Beth and I were closest friends for the last year or so, but have distanced apart because she has spent 95% of her attention on her boyfriend and 5% on me and other friends. Beth has seemed to, for some reason, grow clingy to her boyfriend and barely even talks to us anymore. Even her boyfriend is uncomfortable with it.
I got accepted into a program where I would move to a different campus in our high school for next year, and since Beth didn't seem to care for me and my other friends got accepted, I decided to take the opportunity. Beth gave zero fucks. Until she found out her boyfriend would be moving countries next year (by his choice - who wouldn't take that opportunity?)
We had already distanced, but when we did talk, she told me how she wishes someone would prioritise her over opportunities, since she'll be lonely next year. I wanted to say the biggest fuck you because she never wanted to go out with us as friends, but accepted every opportunity possible with her boyfriend, always went to sit next to him during class and never put effort into our friendship in general.
This one particular time, I mentioned how I would miss a teacher, since I'd be moving campuses. This was after Beth found out her boyfriend was leaving, and she could only reply, "Well maybe you shouldn't go". She also tried to guilt trip her boyfriend into not moving overseas ("If you loved me you would stay")
But then again, what if I'm doing this out of pettiness? I'm planning to completely cut ties with her next year, since we won't see each other much and she's put next to no effort into our friendship, but SUDDENLY wants me to stay on the same campus as her, since she'll be lonely if I don't. Can I just move on from this? Am I the asshole for ditching her ass completely? I'm taking the campus opportunity regardless, but would I be the asshole for cutting ties?
tl;dr: close friend has put little to no effort into our relationship since she got with her boyfriend, gave no shits when I said I'd be moving campuses, suddenly gave a shit when she found out her boyfriend was voluntarily moving overseas, and has now tried to subtly guilt trip us both into staying with her. It's bullshit and it pisses me off, but am I the asshole for wanting to cut ties with her too?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JC3TReI2fbmtf3Rim97sHJ6ATiQbUFm1
|
ate82s
|
{
"description": "calling out my friend on Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For Calling Out My Friend On Facebook?
|
TLDR: Friend lied to our friend group for years. I eventually call her out on Facebook, it causes relationship issues for her.
I was in a friendship for over 8 years with a person. We were very close, but she was very manipulative and a huge liar. She made up things on the spot, even faking two suicide attempts to me and me alone (because if you asked her family-that she lived with-they had no clue what you were talking about). Some lies were minor, but as I stated before, some went too far. When we got in a fight, she’d message me pretending to be other people (her friends, boyfriends, etc.) to make me feel bad. Looking back, I wish I saved some of our conversations because they’re probably pure Quit Your Bullshit subreddit material.
A lot of her lies surrounded her family. Now, I’m aware that a lot of this is he said/she said, but I had evidence that she was lying about being a victim of abuse. As one myself, I take this very, very seriously and it was clear she just wanted attention. Most of these “injuries” would appear after either I myself got injured/was going through something or another one of our friends did and most of the time, she couldn’t even prove they existed. She lost a lot of our mutual friends due to lies and drama. I became the only friend she had left from that time and she cut off her entire family after they called her out on BS.
She treated me like crap for a long time, then got a new boyfriend and pretty much dropped me. We’d only talk occasionally and when we did, it was all about her. Eventually, I told her I couldn’t do it anymore. She was still treating me like crap and I deserved better. She took it surprisingly well, but looking back, I think she just wanted to appear like the bigger person.
We still remained Facebook friends, though never talked or communicated. However, I can still see the stuff she posts. A few weeks ago, she made a long post about the abuse she suffered. She was getting sympathy and a lot of people that weren’t close to her back then were saying stuff like “I had no idea!”
I got a text about it from another friend and I made a comment, basically calling her out for all her lies. One big one was that she claimed to have not drank in x amount of years, but we’ve only been not speaking for a year now and I know she was drinking before then. I called out some other things that she had told me that didn’t add up to the post she was claiming as well. I told her that she needs to stop finding new people to lie to and that she takes away from real abuse victims, and that she needs to get real help.
She deleted my comment and messaged me saying that I had no right. I told her that everyone was tired of her lies. She had so many problems with people and that the common denominator was herself. She blocked me after that. Some of our friends agree with me, others say it wasn’t my place and that it’s caused some problems with her and her current boyfriend. Was I an asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
FOS5sCnvWeOS2wGEBwHJBkYiyj7tFe5u
|
atcqjx
|
{
"description": "ordering perscriptions with my pharmacist when older man comes within half a foot of my face",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA Ordering perscriptions with my pharmacist when older man comes within half a foot of my face
|
First timer here please be your awesome selves!
I was at Walmart with my 2 kids getting a few medications when a gentleman of about late 60's comes really close to me, like touching shoulders close, to ask for a price on a product. When I noticed him there, I turned and said "can you please give us space, we are discussing private information"
Holy balls, he went bat crap crazy, it was as if I banned him from Earth.
He eventually went off to find another employee, why he didn't do that to begin with baffles me.
AITA for requesting space while discussing private information?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
xDD9WzpricWWiafqCamZAw8PTSGVtpOA
|
b7sm20
|
{
"description": "killing my sister's pet mouse",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For killing my sister’s pet mouse?
|
Hello Reddit
I’ll get right to it. My sister got a pet mouse last month for her birthday gift. While I am absolutely terrified of mice, since I did get bit by one as a kid, my sister would constantly bring the mouse to me, unannounced. (Such as when I was in my bedroom, or even when I ate dinner)
Last Friday, it was in the morning. My sister decided to come into my room with the mouse, but I guess since I was still sleeping, she decided to wake me up and show me it. She placed the mouse on my pillow beside my face, and then woke me up. Once I was awake, I saw the mouse and almost had an heart attack. I picked up my pillow and threw it at away from me, which then hit the wall on the opposite side of my room. (My room is kinda small) With the mouse still on the pillow. The head of the mouse cracked/came opened, and he died. My sister began crying saying that I was the one who killed her mouse. My parents got mad at me, and since Friday they literally haven’t talked to me. When I try and ask them something, they pretend I’m not even there.
And yeah, I do feel terrible for the mouse, since obviously it didn’t deserve death. But
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 37,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 38,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
hw0ZRXkNU1RliGvn45F7hZoDRcwPmFfH
|
a6drsd
|
{
"description": "not liking that my SO vents to someone else other than me about their depression",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I don’t like that my SO vents to someone else other than me about their depression?
|
Say I had a SO who’s going through a lot emotionally. If I tried everything to be open to them and talk to them, but they go vent to someone else and subsequently feel better, would I be an asshole if I felt jealous?
I understand if they need girl/guy talk with their group chat. What I’m talking about is 1 on 1 with another guy/girl. Someone who isn’t me, but could be in my place as a SO.
Because, on one hand, my SO would be getting the help they need. Who am I to get in the way of that?
But, on the other hand, if someone else can make them feel better, why even date me, yknow? If they think I can’t support them emotionally, can it really be a good relationship for them?
Would I be the asshole if I didn’t want them to talk to someone else like that?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
RcfBG1vfeq5TjG07pfWGCEeOKLwtXju1
|
amk1nj
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go a to a party",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to go a to a party?
|
There is a party tonight, which I do not want to attend, I will be going (against my will) and I was told I am shitty for holding the group back/ not participating. I view this differently, I have no close friends that will be attending the party, and didn't have fun at the same party last year. It'd be different if it was just me going to one of my band parties where I know and appreciate the company of the other people, but I am truly wondering if AITA for voicing against attending the party and being a buzzkill?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2MQ47oVUNF8PPWVhZLyQUVCROH5FyttD
|
b6aqmg
|
{
"description": "not letting my wife's younher brother couch surf at my house",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not letting my wife's younher brother couch surf at my house.
|
So my brother in law, who is 21, recently picked up his girlfriend and took her away from her home when she turned 18. For the sake of the post, let's call him Jake and her Bella.
Bella was in a supposedly bad situation at home, in which she lived under the rule of her evil stepmother who took all of her kids money. So...
Jake's been waiting for her to turn 18, which occurred yesterday. Today, he picked her up. She left a note for her stepmom, and pretty much there is no turning back. Her step mom freaked out and sent a bunch of mean texts to him and Bella.
Now she is living in my in-laws house (mother and father in law) and my Jake also lives there, with multiple other siblings. The family is very religious, and does not want the two living in the home together, in fear that Satan will tempt them to "do the dirty" before marriage.
So now, Jake is asking to couch surfing at my house as well as his other brothers house. His other brother is older, married, and has a 3 year old child and a 1 month old baby. He also works nights.
My wife asked if we would let him stay on our couch. I said No. Plain and simple. Here's my reasoning:
Jake didn't think this plan out at all. Bella didn't stand up for herself in regards to working full time for a year (she finished highschool early) and not saving a penny for herself.
Jake has been mindlessly spending all of his work money and tax return money on guns and ammo and McChickens.
So now that there is a problem he created, he is expecting us to be the solution. I enjoy my home. I enjoy my personal privacy with my wife. I have a high stress job and Jake is also a taxing person to be around. I love him and he is family, but overall, I'm saying "No" because
1. I don't want him living on my couch
2. I want him to fix his own problems because I also got married at a very young age and got zero help from anyone in the family, even though we all live pretty close to each other.
Am I being an asshole? Should I help him and just soften my heart? I'm of the mindset that it wouldn't be helping him. It would be enabling his irresponsible behavior and lack of planning a pretty major life choice (for himself and Bella)...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
b8lX17MiPs5lTN8p3R1J4FfXZsNw6kwA
|
ai5nar
|
{
"description": "ghosting my (then) \"boyfriend\" who I've known for 7 years",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting my (then) “boyfriend” who I’ve known for 7 years
|
Some background: I(21F) met (let’s call him Sean(24M) online when I was pretty young. Let’s say I was 13 years old, he was 16. We were internet friends or whatever because he lived a few hours away, but in the same state. Eventually when I was a little older (I was 15, he was 18) he came to visit me and we “dated” for a few months. He came to see me once a month for about 4 months in a row. I didn’t drive as of yet and I was clearly a minor so I never was able to visit him during this time. He broke up with me because I was always super jealous of the stuff he would do with his friends. He was old enough to drive, and go to clubs, and had some freedom while I was a sophomore in high school living with her mother, so I was very clingy.
A few years later, at this point I’m 18 and he’s 21, he pops back up into my life. He wants to see me again, he’s telling me he loves me. At this time I have a very good job, I’m an adult now, and I have my own car so I offer to come see him. He randomly disappears and stops replying, I’m pretty sure at this point he blocked me. This really hurt because we have so many years of history. That whole spat lasted (maybe) 2 weeks.
Now to the most recent turn of events. I am 20, he’s 23. I wanted closure. I thought about him pretty often. I do some googling and find an old email address for him, and I write him. He tells me that this is the best thing that’s happened to him all year, he missed me so much. I take a few weeks off of work and go to see him. This is the most “real” us dating has ever been. I saw him 2 times a month for days at a time. I would always drive to him, because he had his own house. Each time I’d see him he’d get me BLACKOUT drunk. To the point I’d wake up naked and not remember if I had sex at all or how we got into this room of the house. It started to really bother me and I voiced to him that I felt like I never saw him sober. He of course never stopped drinking.
Another issue we had was that any girl he would see who was moderately attractive, he would feel the need to tell me. “I find her attractive.” “I know, Sean, she’s a pretty girl.” I really don’t need to know. (PRO TIP to guys, don’t do that. No matter how chill your girlfriend seems, she doesn’t need to be worried that you have a crush on the Publix cashier)
During this period of time he borrows 300 dollars from me for a TV, telling me he’s going to pay me back when he gets paid next week. 10 months into our relationship I still hadn’t seen a dime of it. So naturally, I start to ask. He calls me a “loan shark” and says I don’t know what it’s like to struggle. I tried to compromise with him. I asked for 50 dollars a paycheck, and he said yes, then never pulled through. I at one point got so desperate for him to come see me that I said “I’ll pay for a hotel and if you drive here and take some time off work we’ll call it even” he passed on that offer as well.
I started to evaluate the relationship and eventually came to the conclusion of “fuck this asshole.” He obviously doesn’t respect me or my hard earned money, to “borrow” that large of an amount and not pay it back to someone he’s known for (at this point 7 years,) to have sex with me when I’m blackout drunk, and to at NO point come to see me, and when I am with him he’s constantly saying how attractive other women are. So I just stopped talking to him. I cut my losses with the TV and said I’m better off. Ghosted the dude completely.
Recently my conscious has been telling me I should’ve said something, and given him an explanation. I know I am an asshole but I’ve gotta ask anyway, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
y6YARHXDMVfRaljz4cNC5Yp1AxLq6pHD
|
ad1sqj
|
{
"description": "discussing a relationship (between my friends) with one of them",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for discussing a relationship (between my friends) with one of them?
|
So this might sound a little complicated and I think I am the asshole here but just stick with me for a moment here. Last night I had a lengthy discussion about a guy my best friend was interested in. We can call her Sabrina. She talked to me about a lot of revealing things and that they went out together. However, it was *technically* not called a date (he did pay for her and he did give her chocolates). But I *assumed* they both knew they were into each other. This is apparently not the case but I will get into this later. Fast forward to lunch (yes, I am in High School) and they guy she was interested in sits down with me. We will call him Jerry. He is with another friend who is also friends with Sabrina. Now, I DID bring up the relationship to Jerry and asked how it was going. Just guy stuff. He asked how I knew and I told him that Sabrina told me. This was my first mistake. We talked about some stuff and I gave him my advice on her (he didn’t know her as well as I do). Fast forward to like an hour or so later. Sabrina starts freaking out on me that I shouldn’t have talked to him about anything and I broke her trust forever. I’m obviously confused but I had to go home and I would handle it later. Now I asked Jerry if he said anything about our conversation to Sabrina. He says no and I do trust that answer. The only other person to know could be the other friend who came into lunch with him. He’s the rat (I *assume*). She basically said that she didn’t want him to know that she knew that he liked her. Sounds pretty stupid right? They went out together right? Well while it is stupid, I’m pretty sure that I may have accidentally said something to him that Sabrina didn’t want me to tell Jerry. For example, that she knows that he likes her. AITA and was it bad for me to assume that Sabrina would not care if I talked to Jerry about it? Keep in mind that Sabrina brings up that just by telling Jerry that she talked to me about it it broke her trust and also that she didn’t specifically tell me I couldn’t talk to him about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
nveJ5E4MwtG35oby2a1KHYMfxhEj8YMY
|
arnng5
|
{
"description": "not liking my stepfamily",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not liking my stepfamily?
|
I’ll keep this short. My “stepfamily” has basically taken over my life. They call MY dog theirs, act like they can do anything they want with no care for others. My stepdad uses my bathroom attached to my room regularly without even asking and frequently goes in my room. I talk to my mom and she says I need to accept change.
Help me out reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lqglCbd0HwAEMOZLC1cX1GHPEod8VVW3
|
are9lz
|
{
"description": "asking my friend if she wanted to continue or friendship so I can know if I should move on or not",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my friend if she wanted to continue or friendship so I can know if I should move on or not
|
I had a fight with my friend last Friday and long story short it ended up with me saying "if this bothers you so much we don't have to be friends anymore" that upset her and she said she would talk to me later and wanted to cool off before saying something she regretted.
She hasn't said anything to me yet since last week. I'm wondering if I should send her a msg saying something like "hey, do you want to still be friends?? It's been a week" sorta thing. This matters to me bc if she doesn't I want to delete her so from all my social media so I can start moving on.
Is a week too short tho? Am impatient?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
wEv4uKfJjkUoW2aZIHsGpyS0jgJGiP36
|
a64elc
|
{
"description": "telling to my roommate that she is overreacting",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling to my roommate that she is overreacting?
|
So with the new year incoming I wanted to organise a lil’ meeting to my apartment, with 3/4 friends, we would just leave our stuff in the apartment, maybe drink a few beers and then go out in the city and come back to sleep (my friends live not in the same city),
so I asked to my roommate what planes did she have for the new year, to which she replied: why are you asking?
I then explained the whole story and she said that she would have been out town and to be careful because she wouldn’t allow anyone to sleep in her bed, touch her stuff, and if I or my friends would break something or not clean the apartment I would have been directly responsabile, and if someone touched or ruined her book collection we “could have troubles”
I the. Replied that I understand her doubts but we would just practically spend most time outside and not to overreact
She then got a bit pissed and then said that we had nothing more to talk about
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
4OrOhZhWXn6giYkKoWqKC564NYiR6Ly0
|
aozpzr
|
{
"description": "being mad at my best friend for liking someone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my best friend for liking someone?
|
I want to make this clear, this is one of my **BESTEST** of bets friends, and the person they're sticking up for is a bitch to me and my other best friend. This person at first began to make fun of my best friend's (BF1) clothing and body shape, which they are extremely self conscious about, causing them to stay home constantly in 7th grade. Then, this year, the bitch began to make fun of me too, calling me and attention whore, acting like a smart-ass when I'm right, and my bestest best friend (BBF) just laughs and does nothing to push her away from us.
BF1 is very annoyed about the bitch hanging out with us, and so am I. BBF acted like they hated her too until just recently, when they told me they actually LIKED this dumb bitch that constantly makes me feel depressed. I began to cut again (a habit I had broken for about two years until now), and they don't care. So am I the asshole for being mad at BBF alongside BF1?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2ihKzUB1raS7PrNgMxwxe3XlRJt995WX
|
atx0ko
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my girlfriend for hanging out with her friend instead of me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend for hanging out with her friend instead of me?
|
I'm a freshman in college, and I've known my girlfriend and her family since we were little kids. We both come from super conservative families, so when we first started to like each other we knew that going out was a big no-no.
We started texting about 3 years ago, and we've gotten to know each other pretty well. We only see each other in church and stuff like that a few days a week, and we would always talk about how we wanted to be together, only us two. But we knew we had to wait a while for that to happen.
Fast forward to September of this year, in her high school schedule she has basically an hour of free time where she can do whatever she wants for lunch. My school is 10 min away so naturally, we were very excited at the prospect of finally having a chance to go out without our parents knowing. We have fun, go to eat, walk in parks, all of the cliche relationship things that we've wanted to do for years. She's the perfect girl for me.
I don't go out with her every day, two times a week she goes out with a friend. Her friend is nice and funny, it doesn't bother me that they hang out. Sometimes, though, my girlfriend says that she can't go out on days that we've agreed we're going to meet because she's going to be with her friend. Also, earlier in the year we would also somtimes skip class to have more time with each other, but we stopped because she didn't want to miss any more classes and she felt bad about it, and I agree with that. However, she repeatedly skips school with her friend even after she told me she doesn't want to skip school anymore. I don't even find out about it unless I see it on social media, she doesn't tell me.
I've tried talking to her about it, but she says it's not a big deal and not something worth getting mad or annoyed over. And sometimes I think she's right, our relationship is pretty perfect in spite of our circumstances, and maybe I'm the asshole for getting mad at this. But sometimes still, whenver she cancels or skips with her friend, it makes me feel unimportant.
TL;DR: Girlfriend and I finally go out after years of knowing each other, I get mad when she cancels on me or skips school with her friend instead of me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
5I8DB7Yz2H7nBDZTXoNTIb639s92AWSn
|
acapnk
|
{
"description": "feeling undervalued",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for Feeling Undervalued?
|
As mentioned in the title I feel undervalued at work. The person I sit next to was in my new-hire training class and we started out at the same amount. Through continuing here I have taken the next level of training and received a 2% increase for it. She did not take the next level of training.
Through the course of events she lost her voice and hasn't improved in months (work at a call center). She's since been reassigned to stuffing letters and mailing things out. She doesn't abide by the same B.S. metrics that I have to and yet still makes the same amount of dollars as when she started. I have to service members and their claims while she sits there, listening to music, watching Netflix, and stuffing letters.
AITA for feeling undervalued for doing a literal shit-ton more work for 25 cents more on the hour?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
9NtiEA3VGYF3gvwKjlLyUgTPStilUuex
|
ar6hgh
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend for ignoring me on Valentine's day",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for getting mad at my boyfriend for ignoring me on Valentine’s Day.
|
My bf and I celebrated valentines a day early because he had to close and I had a test late that night. We had an amazing dinner and he got me an amazing present that shows how well he knows me.
Valentines comes along and I bring him lunch and hang out a bit before heading to my test. After i finished, he texted me and asked me if I wanted to join him at Qdoba. I said sure and headed straight over, figuring that it would just be us.
I get there and he mentions that B will be joining us. Now, don’t get me wrong, N is an amazing dude. He’s smart and funny. It’s not him I have a problem with. When he and my bf get in the same room together, though, both of them get lost in their own world. For that reason, when I know it’s gonna be just N, me and my bf I usually don’t come.
My bf didn’t tell me he was coming, and sure enough, the entire night I say maybe 3 sentences because that’s all that I can add to the convo.
So, WIBTA for getting a bit pissed at him?
TLDR: BF invited a friend to qdoba on valentines without telling me and then ignored me all night long. WIBTA for getting mad?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Bmt3PCjWPObK6wtcKkhpstseYDNdrb3M
|
ay5dtm
|
{
"description": "spamming a friend knowing that was the only way he would answer",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if i spammed a friend knowing that was the only way he would answer?
|
i used to play with this dude some time ago and when he wasn't playing the only way to get any kind of answer from him was to spam him.
i asked him if it bothered him and he said no its fine, while i said if it ever bothered him he should tell me and i would stop. then a couple weeks later i did the usual and he blocked and unfriended me from the game.
the "spamming" would only happen like once a week when we really needed his help for stuff. i felt like the asshole but also felt like if it bothered him he should have told me straight up
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
OnCB3K6xoG6RCsEauR1ONxedNXozLdlk
|
ananfg
|
{
"description": "telling off my brother for getting back into a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling off my brother for getting back into a relationship?
|
So my brother broke up with his girlfriend because they hardly see each other and don't have enough time for themselves anyway. Hell, I never even heard him call her. So, naturally, I'm with him on this situation.
Next day he's bad-mouthing her, saying that she's spoiled, stuck-up and never even helps him or their relationship when the going got rough. But then, I shit you not, no more than 20 minutes pass by and he tells me that they are both back in their relationship.
I proceed to call him a dumbass, with my statement being "If you're complaining about her and how much of a spoiled brat she is, then why the hell are you going back out with her?". He then calls me a baby, covering up the allegations he made by saying they were all lies (Since his girlfriend is friends with my sister, I asked my sister about this. Turns out she actually is very spoiled and stuck-up) and saying that he loves her, despite the fact that 1. It's been three months and 2. It's a high school relationship. Most of these barely last.
I mean, I never really had much good relationship experience, so I understand that I don't know what he thinks with his relationship or what he's going through. However, I believe that if he thinks she has these massive flaws then he shouldn't really be with her.
So am I being the asshole? Or his he in the right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3nlC7xcdWVGLNQlg5zsUsJoyRKYKTaKC
|
ausvmr
|
{
"description": "yelling at my aunt for trying to sell my mother a pyramid scheme",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for yelling at my aunt for trying to sell my mother a pyramid scheme
|
So basically I have a lot of allergies and I take shots every 3 weeks and so my mother was talking about how I was making so much improvement and so I would have to take those shots for 5 years (I’m 3 years in) and my aunt put in the comments “you can have great results in only a month if you buy these oils” I didn’t read much more but I knew it was a pyramid scheme so I went off saying that it wouldn’t work and that it’s a scam, apparently she told my mother that I was being rude and immature and idk what my mom said but she came to me and said it wasn’t nice to say that because “she was only trying to help us” and that she is family, I think my mother didn’t want that on her fb so she deleted the post, I don’t think I’m the asshole and I meant every word I said
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
ONtIG1VKj39epgAyKoe3DYWE3lqAUaaF
|
b11frc
|
{
"description": "not appreciating my job and wanting to quit? or aita for staying",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not appreciating my job and wanting to quit? Or AITA for staying?
|
So I recently graduated last spring with a BA in a major many would consider useless, and had trouble finding a job. I finally found a place that hired me after an extensive interview process. I took the job, but now that I’m about 6 months in I found out I don’t like it that much. I like the “core” of what I do (it’s not related to my major btw) but it’s surrounded in pointless procedures and “bureaucracy” which I don’t like dealing with. I don’t like the corporate setting, or being in a cubicle all day. However everyone has been really nice and friendly, and done their best to help me succeed. I’m in training, so I’m not really contributing much to the company as of now and the idea is I spend a year in training so that I can help the company long term. It’s more of a career then a job, but I’m not sure this is what I want to do with my life. My boss knows this isn’t for everyone and he hinted that he knows that this might not be for me, and that I should make a choice in the next few months, and he also knows I struggle with some of the processes and procedures (so if I don’t get better, I’m gone anyways). This job pays very well, and I know some of my old class mates are jealous, but at the end of the day it’s not satisfying, and I don’t think I could do this the rest of my life. So AITA for not appreciating this job? I know this isn’t a typical AITA but I honestly feel like one and want to know if it’s justified
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
hpFoQf2l34cWp46JLpOg8VrStrg2Pipw
|
afqcuw
| null |
AITA in this conversation with my mom?
|
Context: I am staying the night st my Dads to watch football ( I am a teenager and my parents are divorced, my dad likes football and has cable so I go there to watch it) and after football I get into a call with my friend whom I’ll just call X and at around 1130 he mentions going to a dog show tomorrow ( this was yesterday so it was today) and said my mom texted his mom information about it. I said i would ask my mom in the morning as it was 1130
Here is the conversation I had, I have asked my dad and he has sided with me but I want to know from unbiased people
( 10AM morning after)
Mom: Did you want to go to dog park with x today?
Me: Yes, me and him talked about it yesterday
Mom: Well how are you getting there ?*
* she lives roughly ten minutes from dads
Me: Thought you were going to drop me off
Mom: You never told me this or asked
I heard from Caleb’s mom
Me: He told me at 1130 in a call thought u were asleep
Mom: Nolar2015, I always ck my phone you know that.*
I have plans today so you need to send /text me information when you get it
And not expect me to be your taxi
*i did not but maybe that’s my fault for being unaware
Me: I was going to ask you this morning, of course I didn’t text you at 1130 you’d be angry at me did waking you up
Mom: Bull crap Nolar2015
Stop making everything sound like your parents are sooooo angry at you
I don’t have time for this.
If you have information you need to send it to me or I am not going to have time to make it happen
Me: Ok that’s fine
Mom:Don’t know what that means Nolar2015
You still haven’t told me anything
Me: Wha do u want to know? I want to go but if we can’t it’s fine
Mom: I have no idea about when or what you need
You have told me nothing
So how would I know
Me:IDK either X just said something about a dog park and that his mom texted you
Mom:ok then I’m moving on not going to beg you for details
Me: I don’t know the details mom do you understand that?
Mom: I understand that if you wanted to go you would know what time and place
So yea I understand
You need to have your dad stop you off*
* my dad has Gout and has been advised to not drive
Me: Ok so you don’t understand, X told me nothing and said his mom told you the details
Mom: No I she just asked if you were going
So that’s why I texted you this morning since I heard nothing from you
I’m not talking about this anymore
That’s about it. Sorry for the length. Thank you
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Dj77iYg8ClRtbMSsrryJ3gsMnoj6t6EE
|
a2f6z0
|
{
"description": "wanting to sleep in while my wife takes care of our baby",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to sleep in while my wife takes care of our baby?
|
Yesterday my wife went out with some friends for the day which left me with our 8 month old son. No problem there, we had a grand old time. She left around 2 and got home around 10pm But in the middle of the night (he’s been sick so he was up a bit at night) she explains to me that she expected me to wake up early with him because we generally split weekend morning so one of us gets to sleep. I said that I thought that since I watched him the entire day that maybe she could wake up with him instead. She got mad and now is pissed at me for being selfish. Am I the asshole here? I just wanted some sleep.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
CN0ehJH2lFMbdYoVXae8XoMVvo7flxR7
|
anhwb2
|
{
"description": "declining to work with someone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for declining to work with someone?
|
I powerlift competitively(relatively new at it). A few weeks ago, I began taking tips (that I didn’t ask for) from some older guys at the gym. These guys are strong and I definitely believe they know their stuff. However, the old school of powerlifting and the new school of powerlifting have a few different opinions I’ve found to be basically unanimous. The new school believes more in recovery and science based periodization (basically how you schedule your training to increase strength) , while the old school generally just believes in hammering the weights basically any time you can. I told one of the guys I didn’t believe in that and he basically won’t talk to me any more. To make a long story short, we were benching (for me) very heavy every 6 days or so, and one day I basically could feel that something was gonna go wrong. I told him that I didn’t want to do things his way any more and that I was “shot”. That night at work I subluxated my shoulder, an injury commonly accredited to overuse. The other guy, I had him look at my meet (competition) preparations to see if anything looked good or needed improving, etc. I just wanted him to give me an opinion on it- instead of that, he wrote out 14 weeks of programming for me that I absolutely did not ask for. When I (very respectfully) declined to work his way, he got upset and wrote a long ass post on Facebook about “kids that don’t know what they’re talking about” and how he will now watch me fail. He never mentioned my name, but it was very clearly aimed at me. I even offered to pay him for the time he took out of his life for the programming I didn’t ask for, because I understand that it was a very nice thing to do and he did not have to do it, even though I didn’t ask him to. He, too, no longer speaks to me. So , am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0MiYlQbZtXc0G6p4Qr7U5cacufxLUqP1
|
ay505r
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my bf for watching amvs and porn if he promised he'd stop",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my bf for watching AMVs and porn if he promised he'd stop
|
We're both quite young and we've been together for about 10 months now. We both used to watch a lot of anime few years ago but don't really anymore. My bf still has a thing for anime girls though and for the first 4 months i didn't really care. Then i started taking birthcontrol and it made me mad over every little thing or cry and hate myself (i've had self esteem issues for a long time now) all the time. So one time we were watching a tv series and i made a comment about how one of the girls had a nice ass (it was totally normal for me to say things like that before) and he agreed which caused me to have a breakdown pretty much out of nowhere.
I told him that him watching porn makes me feel really bad about myself as i know i'll never look nor act like the girls you see there and it makes me feel like im not enough for him etc. He PROMISED (i didn't ask him to nor manipulated him into saying it) he'd stop watching anything sexual to get himself off. I was happy about it as i don't watch porn myself as i think it's unhealthy.
He first broke his promise a week after he made it and told me about it. I was disappointed but we all make mistakes so i didn't think much of it. He then broke it again about 1.5 months by watching ,,es rappelt im karton's AMV" which he claimed was "only for the song". (Yea sure why didnt you just watch the music video then?i'm not that dumb) He didn't tell me he broke his promise again, i found out when we were watching wallpapers on Steam and he said "oh it's from -said song-". And then he broke it again about 2months after by watching another AMV which he also didn't tell me about. I found out when he had left his youtube open and i searched for the same song and saw that he had watched an AMV of it.
He also introduced me to 4chan which eventually made me hate if not all then most men. He's still on 4chan but he says he's "only on /wsg" but i know how easy it is to switch boards there. :|
I just feel a bit betrayed and i can't really trust his promises anymore after he broke his for 3 times (that i know about). Again, i never said he couldn't watch it or anything, he promised me.
I now told him i'm okay with him watching it (i dont really know if it's fully true yet, but i am loosening up again about it) because he sometimes makes me feel like i FORBIDED it and i don't want to be mad about him breaking his promise over and over again. I don't even really care that he watched those things, i just feel angry that he broke his promise atleast 3 times.
So AITA for feeling angry with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
aAPOAHFpDXZlHoguP6uJQ2Lzngd7NpiE
|
a9t39a
|
{
"description": "thinking actions speak louder than words",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking actions speak louder than words?
|
My partners grandma is Eastern European, very old fashioned, casually racist and believes the world is evil. Everyone is the enemy, especially me. She badgers my partner a lot, always picking on his hair, his weight, his health and his career. She thinks I over/under feed my partner and don’t look after him (I’m 20f he’s 24m) and has thought I’m only with him to use him as my work slave since he cooks and cleans most of the time ( he’s studying while I work and study)
He can’t stand her, and always stands up for me when she calls and starts the long list of complaints about me and him. For years now I’ve agreed, she’s kinda an asshole BUT
We recently fell on hard times and we both struggle asking for help, she must of heard about it and now she’s helping us so much and I can’t thank her enough. Suddenly I’m seeing a different side to her and I’ve begun sticking up for her which annoys my partner a fair bit, I’ll give you some examples where her actions speak louder than her words.
-I love dragon fruit, I’ve mentioned this once in a previous conversation YEARS AGO, all of a sudden she has a bag of groceries for us with her famous potato salad and 2 dragon fruit, they’re so expensive and my partner hates them so they must have been for me?
- my partner can’t afford a hair cut, we went for lunch, she paid without us noticing and then asked my partner to take her to the book store, the whole way she went on about how much weight he lost and how I’m always too busy, but next door to the bookshop was a lovely barber and she had an appointment for him and paid for it.
-She bought us socks and jocks, this big bag arrived one day with more potato salad (bless) and heaps of male underwear and socks, but there were a couple packets of very feminine socks, perfect size with extra padding, these socks are very expensive and PERFECT for my job, I have no idea how she knew?
-she never ever mentions these gifts, and continues her list of complaints about us (always the same ones, I’ve kinda just ignored them) as if nothing ever happened. I should mention my family would never and has never offered to help my partner and I in any way. My mother has never given me anything without making me feel guilty and holding it as ransom to drop my life and tend to her. She never asks for anything in return, no help or more time together,
So reddit, my partner still ignores her calls (she calls 4+ times a week) and see’s these gifts as undermining his independence and invading his privacy. I see where he’s coming from but I think there’s more to this women then she shows us, these presents are more thoughtful than most I have ever received? AITA for thinking her actions speak louder than her words? IMBFTA for ignoring her calls and being less grateful for her help? Or ESH?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ubts4iADa1EAVMi0jctscr13izuFDg8Y
|
aes9t1
|
{
"description": "asking a guy in my friend group to meet us a bit later than the others",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if i asked a guy in my friend group to meet us a bit later than the others?
|
There's this guy in my group of friends (let's call him john) who has been going out whit us in the last few months.
I don't really like him but everyone else seems to enjoy his company so I don't really complain about him.
The problem is that I recently found a boyfriend and I would like to introduce this new bf to my friends (at least the close ones that have known me for years) but on the day they're supposed to meet him, John said he was also coming even tough I asked on the group chat if there could be fewer people that day (and then I sent private messages to the friends I wanted to be there that day).
Now I would like to ask John if he could maybe meet us a bit later that day so I can introduce my bf to the friends I've known the longest first and then the rest of the group, but I fear I might be perceived as an a-hole and create conflict in the group.
WIBTA in this situation?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
RuuKtywhZLf3IvKb9HThDCtZbaCSY5IE
|
az13r4
| null |
Aita if you look at this from the outside
|
playing a discord bot were you can claim anime characters like cards but there is only one of every character. this guy gets angry for reasons im not fully aware of and decides to quit. so he allowed me to choose 3 characters that he owned and gave them to me. no one forced him to do this i was even against it asking why him why would he do this. the following day he changed his mind and wanted to start playing again and asked if he could have them back. i feel like it is more then kind for me to give him 2 of the 3 back. but he said me not giving them all back is me being a dick. am i a wrong for not giving them all back?
please be unbiased in your judgement. if you base your judgement from the perspective of the other guy i will always be the asshole. that is why i made this post because i want opinions on if im the asshole from am objective stand point. i know that im the asshole in this guys eyes.
my opinion:
imo i believe he doesn't deserve them back and me not giving them back doesnt make me an asshole it is neutral. i was only willing to give him the 2 of the 3 back out of kindness because i felt bad for him. i feel like not giving him anything shouldn't make me an asshole he's the asshole for raging and giving away/deleting all his collection because he can't control his anger and i shouldn't be obligated to do thing based off other mood swings less be an asshole because he decides he wants to undo what he did in a fit of rage. i in no way took advantage of him he was adamant on getting rid of his collection i told him he should rethink this and i only took the characters because he would had put them back into the pool of characters and i would rather have them then have to sit there and wait for them to show up again which could be anywhere from one day to weeks and they were characters that i really wanted.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
qstLAh7HE8XI2JEAaJftr0SromtIQguj
|
b1wytg
|
{
"description": "holding the door open for a dude chick",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for holding the door open for a dude chick?
|
So this happened years ago, just now thought about it. So im about to get on the elevator and this clearly a chick but butchy chick walks up just as the elevator opens and well being courteous i put my hand in front of me as if to say you first and she gives me this god awful look as she gets on and i think to myself hmmm what the hell did i just do. Any who we make it down again and this time im closest to the door so again it opens up and i let her through first and she mumbles something to the tune of fucking asshole under her breath. Now im heated because i have no idea what her problem is so i run up and open the door for her at the vestibule and bam! She hits me with the you really are a sexist motherfucker. And she left towards her vehicle. I went to mine and realized what the hell happened. She is becoming a man but still just being nice i hold the door open for people men or women. Seriously though am i the asshole here because i figured to hold the door? Ok first two times was an honest not really picking up what her problem was. Third time was me being an asshole. So is the first two times aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
WzSJkLNfcmQhDnwc102yvLjdylb2yfLK
|
avu28h
|
{
"description": "getting myself pizza and not my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for getting myself pizza and not my boyfriend?
|
Basically, me and my boyfriend went grocery shopping. We were supposed to eat ”leftovers” from my moms restaurant, or better said food she had literally paid for to give me and my boyfriend to eat.
I decided i wanted pizza instead and eat my moms food tomorrow, and told my boyfriend il get pizza. Nothing happened. Until i get home and start pre-heating the oven and my boyfriend goes off on how he needs tp eat ”leftovers” while i eat pizza. And went on a rant on how i should have told him.
I said well i said i wanted pizza and you saw me getting it, so i told you so whats the deal? Why are ypu throwing a childrens tantrum over PIZZA? Also he insisted i shouldve got and paid a pizza for him aswell.
He ended up calling me a asshole and went to his room pouting like a child.
Im over it.
So AITA for eating pizza while my boyfriend eats something else like he says i am?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
RQ73o3eCUxwhhzVbQl1PGXNpq64XzraN
|
b0k386
|
{
"description": "blocking an ex friend without saying anything because I just can't handle them anymore",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for blocking an ex friend without saying anything because I just can't handle them anymore?
|
So there's this person who I used to be really close to. Then one day they stopped replying to my messages. They'd read them. I'd ask if everything's ok, what's wrong? Nothing. No response. Just showing that they read it. They wouldn't directly address me either when we were with friends .
After 6+ mos they started responding again.
I tried to forgive them for it. They never said what was going on. But I tried to forgive.
I found that they were more selfish than before. Self centered. It became hard to talk to them. They'd disregard what I'd say. They were a lot more toxic.
I was having anxiety attacks every time they messaged me a meme (which was basically all they did anymore anyways) because I just couldn't handle the person they turned into, or my own feelings regarding how I was treated before. How can you trust someone who abandoned you without even saying *I'm struggling and need some spsce*
They deactivated their account for awhile and I felt so free. I had no attacks. I was able to breathe again. Then they came back. And I knew what I should do just for my own mental health at least.
I had some very supportive friends help me figure out what I was going to do. And they agreed with my decision.
So I decided to block this person. Didn't say a word. Have been blissfully free of them for a couple months (they're just noticing now. I know this because they started messaging mutual contacts. If it gets out of hand I will step in, which has made me so anxious i can't sleep. I wouldn't put it past them to try to manipulate me. They're very manipulative)
am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
lPBi9fyYTEOTIyzxwDF62iBgB7J3IcG3
|
alh54m
|
{
"description": "brake-checking a tailgater",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
WIBTA for brake-checking a tailgater?
|
In another subreddit a user who will remain anonymous said:
>I always brake check. People need to stay off of other people's fucking bumpers. The nice part about it that as a brake checker, I'm always right. "Whoops I saw something in the road and panicked. Idk about the guy behind me. He was too close and wound up eating my rear windshield for lunch I guess "
I put the question to you fine folks. WIBTA for brake-checking tailgaters?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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}
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
EODooI5L4KS6lnJWDpdy7CeF8sdRge0j
|
agyovr
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that his sci-fi manuscript, that he's been working on for almost 4 years, is a bad beat for beat rip off of Star wars",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA If I tell my friend that his sci-fi manuscript, that he’s been working on for almost 4 years, is a bad beat for beat rip off of Star Wars?
|
I have a friend who basically put his life on hold to right his Sci-Fi opus for the last four years. He hasn’t dated, he turned down a promotion at work and he’d essentially been a shut in. I know he is very proud of his labor. His dad is pretty well connected in the publishing industry and he was able to get a literary agent who is going to try and sell this book.
I was able to read a copy before it goes to his editor and it’s...bad. Really bad. And not only is it bad, it’s almost a beat for beat rip off of Star Wars. The twins from the farm take on the galactic and forced genderless “Sejow” empire (sjw, get it?). Along the way they have help from a smuggler, wizard and “conservators” (robots) and they have to blow up a floating castle at the end. It’s really, really bad.
Should I just let him fail on his own or do I need to be the asshole and tell him?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
WohqPHxfvwGALgUPRyUA6gTi0wQfLEBB
|
a5uvsd
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{
"description": "feeling like my mother spends too much time with my diseased sister and her daughter",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling like my mother spends too much time with my diseased sister and her daughter ?
|
Semi-throwaway acct.
So basically, my sister has MS (Multiple Sclerosis). It’s a degenerative auto-immune disease that worsens little by little over time.
I’ll try to make this a simple as possible
I grew up in another country, my memories of growing up were basically I was a happy kid in a problematic family. My father used to beat my mom and he used to beat us. He was super abusive mentally and physically. All I remember growing up was fights and shit.
We’ve been American citizens basically since we were idk how old, technically we’re third generation because my grandma lived and died here (America) and my parents did lived here as well before they had me, but my mom didn’t like it so we moved back home. That was kind of something that wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did, and so I grew up back home and moved here as a kid, US citizenship and all.
Anyway, my sister.
She was diagnosed when she was around 19, probably around 2008. At around the same time, she was pregnant and had my niece in 2010, in April. Of course it was kind of unplanned, and my dad scared the fuck out the father because he was 19. Basically he never wanted to and my father never gave him a chance to be a parent to my niece, want or not.
We moved to America when I was around 12, July 2010, seeking the most top of the line healthcare and seeking to protect my niece from her father ( his family was powerful in politics, we were afraid she’d be taken away from us)
It was a very stressful time for me as I had a horrible time fitting in and adjusting to America. I was bullied a lot and developed depression and a lot of self-hatred(which I’m still struggling with today)
My sister is perfectly, uhh... sentient? Conscious? Her disease affects her muscles, eyesight memory and she’s a little slow when she talks.But she’s OK compared to a lot of more aggressive MS cases. She can walk around the house with a walker, hold
conversations normally, everything. Obviously she was never able to make it to college or anything..
Let it be known that I absolutely HATE the fact that my sister is sick. If it was a possibility, I’d trade my health or even my life just so she could be OK.
Around 2014, a few years after making it to America, my parents got divorced (glad because my dad is an asshole). However, I always felt like I had to go through all of this semi-alone. My mom was always of course tending to my sister and niece. Brother was away because he was sick of it all. I was suicidal for a while and under a lot of emotional turmoil kind of coming to terms with my abusive childhood and moving countries.
To this day, even though we live in the same house, I feel like I hardly have a relationship with my mom. It feels like the only time we ever talk is when we get into arguments (Im chill so rarely) I’ve kinda developed a “as long as you dont mess with me Im OK” mentality with all of them.
My sister has a nurse come in to tend to her Mon through Friday, 6 hours a day. My mom works and she never takes care of herself, she never has any fun. She neglects herself, and even my stepdad as well. She’s always too tired/drained to the point where they can’t spend time together. It sucks and bums my stepdad out.
Whenever I suggest she spends *too* much time with my sister and niece, she throws a huge tantrum about it, saying I’m basically a selfish asshole and that if I’d like for my sister to live in a 24/7 facility just so I can be happy. I don’t want that, what I’m suggesting is that if she could just balance her time a *little* better, it’s be great for all of us.
Of course not, but I’m getting older and soon I’ll be out of college and probably out of the house, and I can’t help but feel as if I was robbed of my mom. I find myself getting resentful towards my sister, and even though I want to get closer, I feel so estranged from her that I don’t even try anymore. I have a solid support system with my friends.
My niece is 8, which she *does* need a lot of attention, she’s going into the 4th grade. But she doesn’t do what she’s supposed to either and that stresses *my* mom out.
She hardly ever inquires about my stuff, either school or work, or even my depression.I hate that. We only live once and I never really got go enjoy any of my two parents, my dad bc he was a dick and my mom because she was too good a mother.
Sometimes I still feel like a child, I turned 20 recently. I still *need* a parent, I don’t feel ready yet. I told a pastor recently and to make a log story short he just said I need to grow a pair be a man and stop crying about it, because she needs me.
Which, I know, he’s probably right and I *do* feel like a selfish piece of shit, but... I miss my mom.
TL;DR: Mom takes care of sick sibling and her 8 year old daughter, am semi-grown man and feel like I never will have a close relationship with her.
|
HISTORICAL
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| null |
AITA (21F)for being angry at my best friend for ignoring me after a traumatic accident ?
|
Back in April of 2018 my best friend (20F) had gotten into a life altering car accident. She broke her leg pretty bad and needed pt to learn how to walk again. So during her recovery I would visit her in the hospital, then when she got released we would chill at her house and eventually she was able to be mobile in a wheelchair/scooter so I took us to Disney world. We didn’t hang out all the time because I knew she was in pain and sometimes she just wanted to be alone and I completely understand. So she started taking college classes again and kinda cut ties with me. I took us to Disney sept 9th and hadn’t seen her again until October 27th because I had invited her to Halloween party. In the time between I would ask to hang out multiple times but she always said no that she was too busy with school. Again I get it. So party time arrives I pick her up, we start drinking I ask her how she’s doing because she doesn’t text me to have conversations either so I wanted to catch up. She told me how she got into the uni she wanted (transferring from community college), and that she has all straight a’s and she’s doing great. I congratulate her because that’s an awesome achievement, but it was still bothering me that she ignores me so I had to get it off my chest. I asked her why she doesn’t text or hang out with me and her response was that she’s busy with school and that she doesn’t hang out or text anyone. And that she likes not talking to anyone. I asked her so you don’t care about talking to me ? And her answer was yes. I just sat there quietly after that because it broke my heart. We’ve been best friends for four years and we used to talk everyday and see each other almost everyday. I get it if someone is going through something emotionally and if they’re busy with school but to say that you don’t care pissed me off. I haven’t said anything to her about it so she doesn’t know that I’m angry, but today is nov 16th and we haven’t spoken a word to each other since October 27th.
Sorry for the wall of text
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
9xfu94
|
{
"description": "making a joke about someones girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for making a joke about someones girlfriend?
|
Okay let's start this off with there are 4 main people involved in this situation all of which I am friends with and a lecturer. I should also add my personality is rather sexual however I know the limits.
My 3 best mates ether have boyfriends or girlfriends. Now me being the good friend likes to make jokes to them at times. Things like "persons name, get your dick out of her etc".
None off my friends have an issue with this at all and will happily do the same back to me. We all know it's a joke and therefore take it that way. (I have even checked this with them after this incident)
Now to the AITA bit, this week a lecturer here's me say one of these jokes. She also happens to be a very strong feminist. She pulls me aside and starts to talk to me about how inappropriate it is and degrading to their relationship.
Later that day I get home only to have my mum wanting to know exactly what I said. Apparently this teacher is saying I am causing strain on this persons relationship.
The lecturer has not spoken to the people involved other than me and they have all confirmed to me after this incident that they do not mind at all.
I now have to be in a stress workshop as my college thinks this is the reason as why I made the joke.
AITA when all my friends are okay with these jokes and so are the people they are in a relationship with.
WIBTA if I said to the teacher that I am not going to this stress workshop as it is a waste of time and a bunch of bs?
Edit: We are all 17 and 18.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
qa1FLuFgdWa2J0RwqJjWpAlpRvKJQtwL
|
aqrrw4
|
{
"description": "being annoyed by my Roommate's Loud sex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Being Annoyed By My Roommate's Loud Sex?
|
I live with my partner and and another couple that I was friends with prior to living together. I would consider the girl to be my best friend.
For the most part, everything is fine. However, the biggest issue that I have is when they have sex, my best friend is ridiculously loud. Like, over the top loud and sometimes I don't even think it's real based on how it sounds. They also play really loud music, which just adds to the noise instead of drowning it. The way that our house is set up, there are two rooms between ours and a hallway. The rooms really are not that close together. I can still hear it from my room.
I have talked to her about it a few times, but she never really takes it seriously. It bothers me a lot because it often wakes me up or prevents me from going back to sleep. Sometimes it happens in the middle of the day, too. I avoid going to the kitchen or bathroom when I can hear them because I hate hearing it. I have trauma surrounding sex and my friend knows that. On the rare occasion I do feel comfortable talking to her about sex, instead of her feeling pride in my choice to confide in her, she asks "why is it okay when you do it but not when I do?" Which leads to me feeling guilty and pushing myself deeper into a hole of never sharing.
So, Am I The Asshole for being annoyed by paramount and potential faux meaning? Or should I just keep it to myself?
Bonus: AITA for getting annoyed that she plays some of my favorite songs while having sex as well?
Oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day ;)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
nlpZ2les5SnSHss5azP4wezDLtsriNCP
|
ayhcxw
|
{
"description": "forgetting it's Lent",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for forgetting it's Lent?
|
I am an atheist, and i was raised in a pretty areligious household. My girlfriend is non-denominational, but likes to partake in Lent.These past few days i have offered her sweets (as i do frequently), forgetting she gave up sugary junk foods. I am not offering these things to be mean or torment her, i honestly just don't care about Lent and keep forgetting. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
kAuXu91pDHmXoiy2RmHOzucXRWrLQjmo
|
b4ld2t
|
{
"description": "kicking my mum off a shopping trip",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for kicking my mum off a shopping trip?
|
So today I went to meet my mum and her friend in town to send her friend off on a train. I said from the very beginning that after this I am going shopping, alone as I know exactly what I want to buy and where and so I want to do it quickly. They asked which shops I want to go to so I told them and my mum was like "and you're not inviting me?!" So I reiterated my reasons for why I want to go alone.
They then peer pressured me into allowing my mum to come so she ended up tagging along. We got to the first shop and I had all my things and was ready to go and pay but she still wanted to do the typical 'look at everything and ponder for an hour' so I started to get slightly annoyed and it probably showed by my face. She said "Oh I see you preferred to go alone and you're annoyed" I said yes and reiterated my reasons. So then we left the shop and she said she's going home but I could tell she's really upset. We went our separate ways and I was a bit sad that I made her upset but ultimately she ruined my alone time which I was looking forward to for the past couple of weeks.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b8pl0f
|
{
"description": "being honest about my friend's music taste",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being honest about my friend's music taste?
|
Hi, so my friend and I went out for a girls' hangout day. I don't drive so my friend picked me up with her car. It went alright the entire day. I'd like to believe we had fun until the drive back home. Since my friend's car has a bluetooth feature, I asked if I can connect my phone to play some songs from my Spotify. At first, my friend was like "Heck yeah! Of course!" So we played a bunch of songs and sang along together.
It was when this one song that we both liked started playing. My friend said that there's a cover of this song that she also likes. So I searched and played the song for her. Well, it wasn't a good cover, at least for me. So when the song ended, I told her that it wasn't a good cover and preferred the original instead. My friend said, "Oh okay" and sorta laughed.
I didn't think much of it until after about 3-4 songs since I played the cover song, I noticed she was quiet and wasn't singing along as much as she was in the beginning. So I asked her what's wrong. She at first said nothing, that she's just a little tired. But I could tell that something was wrong so I told her that we have like another hour and a half drive back to the city and if something was bothering her, she should say it now since I didn't want an awkward drive.
So she said that my comment of me not liking the cover song bothered her. That it's okay for me not liking it cause we have our own music taste but the fact that I voiced it and said that I liked the original better ruined the song for her. I told her that I was just being honest. But she said that I still sounded rude? I don' get it at all. Anyway, we dropped the subject and she allowed me to continue playing songs from my Spotify but never suggested any songs since then.
It's been three days since the incident and I'm just curious whether I was TA here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
acrj2j
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my so for not making me brownies",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting mad at my SO for not making me brownies?
|
My SO (26F) and I (27M) went on a brownie run tonight. I have been saying all week how much I’ve been craving them and finally convinced her to get into the car and grab some to make. While leaving the store I asked if she would make them and she, in exchange for quick drive through McDonalds, agreed.
We get home and I sit on the couch and pull out my phone, because Reddit, and she sits next me. After about 35 minutes she looks up from her phone and says that I should make the brownies.
Look I get it, we’re talking about brownies here. The thing that frustrated me though is that she said she would do it. I trusted my long standing brownie craving fix to her and she put it off until finally telling me to do it myself. I told her it frustrated me and that I didn’t think it was fair. I would have just done right when we walked in,
She doesn’t even like brownies, nor did she want any. So I can see why this probably felt like a chore. After expressing that I thought it was mean she got up and started making them and I put down my phone and helped. We laughed at my impatience and concluded with appreciation that we accomplished it together.
I now have my brownies, but was I the asshole for getting frustrated in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
qbigFgczKse7eckEklSx59RVJj12iBZe
|
b4kc2b
|
{
"description": "accidentally pissing off a friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITAH For accidentally pissing off a friend?
|
Bit of context; I play a VR game similar to VRChat called Rec Room, I play on PSVR (important later). I have over a year created and got into some friend groups. I met one guy on it, for privacy I'll call him A. He's autistic and makes things on Rec Room just like me, we quickly bonded and I joined his clan, I helped him make rooms and vice versa. We added eachother on playstation and we created a group chat with clanmates on playstation. One day I was mucking about changing the group photo and name for the memes with the other people in the chat. A and some others were doing something in a party, occasionally he would tell them something through the group chat. The group eventually got a message saying for someone to stop something. I continued thinking he was talking to others. After a while he tells me to stop and I comply.
Eventually a full blown argument between a clan member (B) and A occurred about something in minecraft they were playing. A left the group in a fury saying we waste his time by destroying stuff that he builds in minecraft (I never have joined them on Minecraft). After I spent an hour of my day comforting B.
A day later I change the group icon and name.
Fast forward one week.
I get a message on discord saying I had been kicked from the clan discord (that I pretty much did most of the setup for), no reason was given.
I message A asking what the kick was for.
This fucker tells me it was for the constant changing of the group name and photo when he was annoyed (I had no idea if he was annoyed or not until the argument) and ends the paragraph tirade with a "Case. Closed.".
This happened last night and I am still confused about it, so that begs the question, AITAH?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
axl3te
|
{
"description": "refuaing to put my backpack under the seat on an airplane",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for refuaing to put my backpack under the seat on an airplane?
|
This happened yesterday. I was flying with a rather large backpack and carry-on. At the gate, they announced the flight was full and that people in later boarding groups may not have space in the overhead bin, so anyone who would like to check their carry-on for free could do so. I took them up on their offer, and sent my bag on its way.
When I got on the plane, I put my backpack in the overhead bin so I would have leg room under the seat. As the last people get on the plane to full overhead bins, an older gentleman asks who's backpack is in the bin. I reply that it's mine, and when he asks me to put it under the seat, I tell him sorry, no, I'd like to have the leg room. I tell him to feel free to stuff it in between his carry-on and another, but I'd rather not put it under the seat. He grumbles, finds a spot for his bag a few seats back, and gives me a glare as he takes his seat.
I know it's not as exciting as other posts on here, but it left me wondering. Did I break airplane etiquette? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
mS7gVpDojFTaMsvyXikAgop53deRyPbb
|
a0k36n
|
{
"description": "refusing to let my sister get away with not wearing a seatbelt",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for refusing to let my sister get away with not wearing a seatbelt?
|
My sister and I are on a long backpacking trip through Central America and any time we take a long bus or shuttle ride, we get in a screaming argument (in front of everyone) because I think it’s important she wears a seatbelt, while she doesn’t want to because it’s “uncomfortable” but mostly because she doesn’t like being told what to do. The roads here are crazy. I’ve explained to her that if something happened to her while we were travelling, I would be the one that had to deal with it and that her death would affect me for the rest of my life. She still calls me a c*nt and gets mad for the rest of the day (but usually gives in and wears it). Am I wrong here?? What can I say or do to help her understand where I’m coming from?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
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|
amypcm
|
{
"description": "trying to help my friend with depression",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For trying to help my friend with depression?
|
Alright, so for context I met this friend almost two years ago, and we're very close. We even dated for a short stint, but decided to remain friends. However, this friend has depression. I am one of those people who will talk to you until 4 AM if you're in a bad place. But we have some few days long periods where we don't really text each other at all. Maybe one of us will break the monotony and say 'Hi' or something, but all my friend really talks about is how much they hate themselves or art.
Tonight, they said Hi to me. I responded with 'Oh hey, you're still alive.' They respond with 'surprisingly,' and then follow up with 'The longer I live, the longer I suffer.' I know they're just trying to joke around, but the self deprication gets annoying. This is basically the only talking point besides the aforementioned art interests. Even when in person, they don't have much to say beyond slights at their expense.
Well, they got mad at me tonight because esch conversation eventually devolves into me giving life advice and them responding with something in the vein of 'Yeah, I know.' I kind of went blunt with it and told them that it seems like their only character trait is hating themselves. I know they're in a rough place, and now I know they don't like having these deep convos, but at the same time it's really hard to differentiate a joke and a cry for help with that specific person.
Am I the one at fault for these conversations getting deep, or should they try and minimize the amount of 'I want to die' jokes? I went here because I do love and cherish this friend, and I don't want to seem like a dick just because I'm worried for them. If I didn't explain very well, I'll be reading the comments and replying.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
AOFbYS9LvQQVIkHhSzFA4ziF8UhnVJvo
|
ad1onx
|
{
"description": "ending friendship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
Aita for ending friendship.
|
Friend who I knew had feelings for her invited me to hang. She then invited 2 other guys later and kicked me out because she wanted to have sex with them. I was enraged and cursed her out over text the next day and ended the friendship.
Aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
KCnpUvj7LihsiPTHu0AIvEPxjjA3IqxK
|
a7vuc0
|
{
"description": "informing my fiance he did not get me a Christmas gift last year",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for informing my fiance he did not get me a Christmas gift last year?
|
Hey guys! This may be long so I'm the asshole for that and I'm sorry.
When I go christmas shopping for anyone, I'd like to think I put a lot of thought and love into what I get for someone based on what I know about them, as most people do.
Last year for Christmas, I had gotten my fiance several sweaters, Rayban sunglasses, pair of Vans, wallet and bluetooth speaker for his laptop, things I know he wanted as:
-He complained he didnt have nice sweaters to wear and that his were old with holes.
-He always talked about Rayban and how he loved a particular style and the fit.
-He had one pair of Vans(only brand he wears) and he used them for both work(hospital) and regular outings, which he ruined with bleach.
-His wallet had seen better days with it ripping and what not from normal wear and tear.
-He always watches old movies on his laptop and I noticed he struggled hearing them(he is also partially deaf on one side as well)
He loved his gifts from what he said, and gave me my gift: an envelope and a pair of Minnie Mouse ears.
Inside the envelope, there was a letter he made on Word, which said he was going to take me to Disneyworld in late spring, and that we would stay at a Disney resort, and etc.
Now I'm not really a Disney person like him, as I had told him for many years, I prefer Island Adventure or Universal Studios, etc. But I love the gift as the fact that it meant it would be us spending time together as we haven't done that for some time. (I work and go to school, he works full time doing overnight shifts at hospital so sleeps during the day)
He said he was going to pay for everything, but I offered to pay for our food while we are there at least. All he had to do was talk to his boss about requesting the days off to go and booking hotel and flights when the dates were drawing near. According to him, he had asked them before and they approved of it verbally, but told him to remind them 2 months before the trip.
Fast forward to March 2018, I had found out(I kinda knew, as did my fiance before the holidays) that I won a vacation through my employment for performance. I did tell my fiance during the holiday that if he planned on us going to Disney, there was a chance I'd be winning a vacation with a plus one for around the same time he wanted to go to Disney. He stated he had anticipated that and he had asked his boss for time off for both vacations during the holiday and they said yes, but again to remind them two months before anything so they can put it in writing.
They denied his request, and informed him he could only choose one. He chose the free vacation through my work(Did I also mention they pay for literally everything, from hotel to food? He did not have to spend a dime on the trip).
He never apologized for it, and has never made an attempt to make up for it. Not even during the summer when we were both free for 2 whole weeks. He never offered to rescheduled the vacation he planned or given an alternative gift like pair of socks or a romantic dinner and movie.
Literally nothing but a pair of Minnie Mouse Ears and broken promise. I felt so unappreciated and unloved after putting so much effort into his gifts, and again, I know it's the thought that counts. I never brought it up and tried to let it go.
But I felt like after he was denied his trip, he never gave it a second thought ever again until I brought it up tonight while we were Christmas shopping. He kept saying he didn't want to talk about it because it makes him feel bad and he doesn't want us to argue.
I ended up bawling my eyes out as I felt he was trying to ignore what happened and dropped him off home while I went Christmas shopping for him and my family, teary eye and all. I felt guilty for bringing it up and fighting over it, but I also felt unappreciated, looked over and petty.
Again, I'm sorry this being long, but am I the asshole for feeling this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XfyzLGB0znQy6Rl0AB4aGZ3T18TR6XE7
|
9wfmcx
|
{
"description": "feeling like when someone walks off mid conversation they are using it as a tactic to not allow me to explain myself",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for feeling like when someone walks off mid conversation they are using it as a tactic to not allow me to explain myself.
|
Here's what happened, I have a young Toddler who uses the restroom on his own and sometimes he makes a mess and as his parent when he makes a mess I realize it's my job to clean it up and not be defensive when people point it out, particularly since he regularly uses my room mates bathroom since it's closer to the living room, this can lead to a bit of confrontation in my interactions with my room mates and I DO fully understand how it can be frustrating dealing with his mishaps. (Mind you my room mate has Aspergers and likes his things very particular and I completely understand that and am accepting of it as well)
In this particular situation I however do not feel like I was being unreasonable and would like a third party point of view, I also realize how silly this situation is and recognize my own childishness on the matter.
I had to work yesterday between the hours of 11:30 and 5:00. My son, whom I left with my girlfriend was only home for an hour and a half between the time I left at 11:07 and 9:00 at night an hour and a half after I left his grandparents picked him up and spent the day with him.
At 10:50 as I was heading out the door my son finished his breakfast and went to wash his hands, which he was done with by the time I actually left the house.
I returned home after work and after picking up my son, watched a nature documentary and fell asleep on the couch with my son and woke up at 12:00am my room mate who had left comes home and asks since I was awake if I wanted to play Red Dead on the PS4 with him and I agreed since I was off the next day.
This is where it got silly.
My room mate went to use the restroom, and when he returned he stated that the faucet was oily so it must have been my son who did it with soap. Now, I realize that some parents get very defensive in these types of situations but I also realize that he's a Toddler and it's possible that he did do it.So I was not in the slightest offended by this, However we have another room mate and other folks that had come over. So, I stated I did not think this time it was him because he left shortly after I did and it was 12:30 at night and he hadn't used the restroom since we got home (he stated that an hour and a half is not shortly, I'm curious about other peoples interpretation of this too) but he then said it was possible he went to the bathroom again between the time I left and the time his grandparents picked him up.
I agree that this is a possibility and he could have, however It's rare that my son has to use the restroom within such a short time frame. So, I told him I don't think it was, and his response was "Well who else could it have been?" I told him it was possibly our other room mate, he said it was kinda weird that I was being defensive about it (I wasn't being "defensive" in an offended sense but I WAS defending him because the time frames didn't make sense to me but I wasn't irritated in any way) anyways to me it felt less like an argument and more like a conversation where I was trying to explain myself and my viewpoint as to why it didn't add up that it was him, I also felt like between 1:00 PM and 12:00am other people had used the restroom since and it seemed way more probable that someone within an 11hour time frame did it than an hour and a half time frame earlier in the day, which I would also feel like the residue over that 11 hour time frame from any soap would have possibly came off. ( I don't know, I'm not am expert on how soap residue lingers after it has dried up) now I want to explain that verbally I have a hard time piecing together my viewpoint sometimes and so it takes awhile to get to the point. This frustrated my room mate because he tossed my controller down and then hit the chair he was sitting in with his fist, stating that he didn't want to argue that I do this all the time and try to argue about dumb stuff and stormed off to his room a little excessively angry.
This is where I overstepped my boundaries a little because he tossed my stuff down really rudely, cut me off and then stormed off so I got a bit irritated and told him there was no reason to get butthurt we weren't even really arguing (which obviously made things worse I could have worded it better) He told me he wasn't butthurt and to quit insulting him but that it was such a petty thing that I was trying argue about that it made him mad (still no excuse imo to handle it how he did)
He then returned to the seat and began instantly continuing the conversation he just got upset about, so I responded doing the same and we were right back at square one and this continued until he got REALLY pissed off and snapped the bowl of the papsan chain he was sitting in, that I had bought so I was pretty upset at this point we continued to argue in circles until we both went to bed.
Here's what I need to know, I AM admittedly an argumentative person however I recognize this and try to ensure I don't make decisions based on emotion. This situation was just one of many I have had with this particular room mate and every time we get into a situation like this he will make/or state his opinion and then storm off so I can't respond, and then when this upsets me because I feel like I don't have the right to rebuttal he totes it as me trying to be argumentative, that if I just left him alone we would discuss it later so I'm being immature.
I do not however feel this is true, I feel like it's a self defense mechanism that he uses when his emotional threshold for conflict has been met and he can no longer entertain the conversation. We both struggle with a semi-elitist mentality and both are a bit of assholes but I struggle to understand why me and him regularly lock horns on the pointless semantics of situations I never run into this with anyone else and honestly wonder if I'm being a dick for feeling this way, or if because of his Aspergers these social situations are just over stimulating in a negative way.
Reddit, please am I the asshole who just wants to argue? I understand that sometimes it's better to agree to disagree but is it okay to say that immediately after you fully state your opinion therefore locking down the opposing views ability to defend themselves?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
I9gYh8mifu4imHKltsUrl2NusHbKMFCu
|
ap6f2m
|
{
"description": "not using 'they' to describe gender-neutral persons",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not using 'they' to describe gender-neutral persons?
|
Pretext - In college I had a friend group which occasionally involved a gender neutral person and an ace / trans. Statistically the percentage of non-cis non-hetero people in the group was pretty high but I didn't notice, or did I really bother to find out the specifics of each persons situation. Just didn't seem super important to know just to hang out with them in a group you know?
​
Anyway fast forward, towards the end of college and out of college, and occasionally these people come up in conversation. When speaking about them my friends use pronouns such as "they" to refer to them, and they try to make it look organic but I can tell the flow of their speech is a little off for the sake of accommodating a person not even involved in the conversation.
​
I personally don't use "they". It's not that I find their situations to be illegitimate or anything, that part I couldn't care less about. It just seems cumbersome to have to remember to alter my speech patterns for this one specific circumstance to avoid being accidentally offensive or something. I understand "they" can be used both as a plural and singular, but at least the way I speak I only use it as a singular referring to someone I don't really know, or speaking to someone about someone they don't know (see how I used they there talking about this hypothetical person that you don't know?)
​
I don't know, it's a nuanced thing and I understand it can work, but it's awkward to pause mid-sentence and change he or she to they just to seem super PC. It almost feels like virtue signaling.
​
Getting around it I just use the persons name. To make up an example, the name Robin is pretty unisexual, so instead of saying "I was speaking to them and they said they were coming to the party this weekend" I would just say "Hey, I found out Robin is coming to the party this weekend"
​
It pops up in my mind more as "Robin said s/he was coming to the party this weekend" but if I say that I'd have to switch to "Robin said they were coming to the party this weekend" and then whoever I'm talking to is like oh really who is Robin bringing and you gotta be like no just Robin, Robin goes by they and it's this whole thing
​
I feel like I maybe I'm not an asshole, just a bit lazy but could use some input
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
W5rzUFzxHj7LR9GzILV9Nfd9Uou78bXx
|
9v94dk
|
{
"description": "having sex with my gf in my mom's house if I don't have anywhere else to do it even though she told me not to do so",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for having sex with my gf in my mom's house if I don't have anywhere else to do it even though she told me not to do so?
|
The title says it all. We both are 19 and we don't have our own places, I usually spend one week in my mom's house and the next one in my dad's (they're divorced) and so on. My dad is always at home because he works from there and I can't just ask him to leave just so we can have sex confortably.
The same applies to my gf's house with the extra difficulty that she lives and hour and a half away from my home, and we only can have sex during the morning because at the afternoon we both have to go to university. It's not easy nor possible to do it in her house, she doesn't even have the keys for her house.
The only valid option is my mom's house because during the morning the house is empty and we both can enjoy ourselves confortably without annoying anyone, but she once said she didn't want my brother and I to have sex in her house (she didn't gave any reason, she doens't want to, period).
She still doesn't know we already have sex there, we also sneak into her house (I'm allowed to enter when I'm living in my dad's house, I have keys) to do the job and then we let everything clean like it was before we entered.
My gf and I can't have sex that often, maybe twice or three times per month, once per week if we are pretty lucky, so we have to plan the day we will do it in advance. We don't really have any other alternative for now and I'd say sex is a pretty important part in our relationship.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
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