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X9ewP4rMUl5GrxjX5lKFcP3UINZGu8zx
|
b86kzk
|
{
"description": "\"cheating\" on my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for "cheating" on my boyfriend?
|
I say "cheating" because i really didn't see it as that and i thought it'd be okay.
Anyway so I had this acquaintance who I didn't know all that well, but I was her best friend cause she didn't have anyone else and I think she really liked me. She was also terminally ill and asked me to come see her at the hospital last tuesday. We had never met before so I wasn't sure, but I felt bad for her so I did. We then talked for a couple hours and then she told me she probably would be dead by the end of the weak. We then just sat in silence for another hour or so and then she asked me if i could kiss her cause she wanted to know what it feels like. I felt like she deserved it so I said sure. When I came home later my bf asked how it was and I told him everything and he got really mad at me and accused me of cheating. I was confused cause I thought it'd be fine considering everything. He then broke up with me. He told our friends and they all agreed with him that I'm a cheating asshole, so that's why I'm where.
her: 20f, bf: 27m, me: 25nb born f
My english sucks and I suck at writing in general, but I hope I managed to bring my point across.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"INFO": 0
}
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
N14Et6m2xSRSj8MT2I3uGvOvIjYFowTg
|
aclrmz
|
{
"description": "not greeting the owner of the house I was invited to",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not greeting the owner of the house I was invited to?
|
So my friend was getting her hair done from a hairstylist, (she does her business at her house) Since she didn't want to be alone she asked me to come over. Me and my sister came and went inside. About 3 minutes later she starts asking me if I was from Africa. I was like..."yeah why?"
Then she starts a lecture about how I was suppose to greet her since it's a common courtesy in Africa. At this point it gets very awkward...because she looked angry and thought I was rude for not greeting her when I came in. Which I would admit...I was in the wrong, but the fact that she had to point it out made everything really uncomfortable for me, and she kept looking at me from before and I didn't know why..i guess it was because she was waiting for me to say "hello" or something and so when I didn't...she felt like she had to point it out.
Normally in my culture, if I was the one at home, I was suppose to greet the guest that CAME to my house. I don't know why she couldn't just greet me and welcomed me to her house instead...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
JMsOFS23m2DpfOTWMUOdm8CbJ8r4E9EQ
|
a5kl9o
|
{
"description": "telling off someone who used to be my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA for telling off someone who used to be my friend?
|
So there's this girl that I used to date and after we broke up we were still friends for awhile. The thing is I really always felt like she ever really cared about me or really anyone else she knows. She is also someone who struggles with anxiety and depression but she uses it to get her way sometimes which always pissed me off. The other day she was telling me about how she was feeling heartbroken because she asked a guy out and he turned her down. I told her maybe she should just stay single for awhile because she just got out of a relationship. After this she just went off on me. Here's what she said o me "I'm so done with you, you never help all you ever do is say something stupid why the fuck do you think I never talk to you and fucking broke up with you" and normally this would make me feel pretty bad but at this point I was really fed up with her so here was my response "I know exactly why and I honestly don't even care anymore. I tried helping you but you don't want to be helped so I gave up on you because you're such a sad sack. I can't help someone who can't help themselves. You just want to sit a stew in your own self, why do you think I didn't fight it when you asked to just be friends? Because I was so fed up with your shit. You don't want to change. Your perfectly content to sit and be miserable so people will pity you. Why do think no one wants you around anymore? Because you only care about yourself and I cant believe it took me this long to realize." She didn't respond and she hasn't been at school for two days now(We're Juniors in HS). Does it make me even more of an asshole if I'm not even worried about her?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
l0o4GWvAuUg648NnX7rpyS77DKWW1N6V
|
b2sm3b
|
{
"description": "distancing myself from my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I distanced myself from my friend?
|
I've been getting closer with this person this year (let's call her V), and while we've had some happy memories, there's a lot of incidents that make me wonder if this friendship should be ended.
(Please don't judge her too harshly, we're in middle school and she's a good person. I wrote this more to question our personal friendship, not to drag her as a person.)
She's affectionate with loads of other people, not just physically, but nice to them and always happy to see them. With me, however, she's curt and I feel like I can't make any mistakes around her or she'll act annoyed and act like I'm a burden.
I also feel like she doesn't act like we're friends unless the situation we're in puts me at a disadvantage. My "friends" play a "game" in which they like to steal my drink (sparkling ice) under the premise of it being "bad for me". And while I enjoy the attention I sometimes get while I try to get my drink back, that's the only time I feel like I'm a part of my friend group. Today, they presented me with an ultimatum: get my drink back today and they stop stealing it, but I lose the little attention I would have gained from the game. I know that to most people it seems obvious to accept my drink and end the teasing, but I'm worried that that would mean that I just lose any opportunities of being included in stuff with the group.
I'm rarely the center of attention in the group, and I'm often rarely even included in the conversation, which is why I'm worried about accepting their offer. I also know that if I tried to distance myself from her, our friends would definitely pick her over me. They don't dislike me, they just prefer her.
We've had a couple of fights this year but nothing major, but I feel like we've just been tense and distant for a while. For example, I'd initiate texts asking how her weekend was, or things like that, and she'd just leave me on read for no reason. She also refused to let me follow her on Instagram and doesn't follow me back, so it stings when she's out there leaving sweet comments on my friend's posts when she won't even return my texts.
She also seems really hesitant for just the two of us to hang out and doesn't seem to want to hang out in group things with me. I'm not even sure if she's trying to do this, but I'm curious if it'd be more beneficial to me if I just ended the friendship. I don't want to do that unless I really have to, as my current friendship with her is just slightly tense but mostly quiet.
Please remember that we're middle schoolers and that my friend isn't necessarily a bad person, so it wouldn't help to post insults about her in the comments. I posted this asking for advice on my current friend situation.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Knr3BzFhM9vAzV6vGUrGadV9NVv2SgQT
|
9ztxxd
|
{
"description": "being mad at my friend because she doesn't want me to move to another country",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at my friend because she doesn't want me to move to another country?
|
I am 30, my friend "Amy" is 29. We have pretty much been best friends since we were in first grade. As adults we haven't hung out too terribly often because of work and life and such but we've always kept in touch, always interacting on facebook and usually hanging out once a month or so.
The last two years we have gotten way closer because I moved back to my hometown. She disclosed to me that she has BPD, which I did research on to try and understand her better. I knew she had some mental health issues before, I just didn't know what and she didn't start actively trying to help herself with it until recently I assume.
Either way, I know that people with BPD often have their "favorite" person, or people. She says I am one of her favorite people. Which means she holds me to a pretty high esteem and listens to what I have to say. The things I say/do have more of an impact on her than other people.
I was originally flattered. It felt good knowing that I could be there for her and stuff and help her through things and what I say could actually help her.
But I recently got married to someone Amy's not very fond of and we are moving to another country because of his job. Since she found out, I noticed she kind of stopped talking to me as much and I know that's probably because she wants to get used to me not being around as much. I've sort of touched on this topic with her but she always just says she doesn't have a problem with my husband and she's happy that I'm happy. But the way she words things and the way she brings things up when we hang out pretty much shows me otherwise.
AITA for being mad at Amy for being upset with me over this? I know she can't help feeling this way because of her BPD but I also just feel like she's making it all about her feelings. Should I, instead, be trying to help her through this by making more of an effort to hang out and stuff before I leave in a few months? It makes me sad when we see each other because she just brings up the fact that I won't be here for her 30th birthday a million times. It's easier to just kind of taper things off I guess..
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
0KNbfo6n6eIJenUUyUUrPtBPRowIfAfm
|
agwnry
|
{
"description": "wanting a clear answer about whether we are still friends, when he seems depressed",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting a clear answer about whether we are still friends, when he seems depressed?
|
My really good guy friend was in a relationship and got cheated on and dumped by his girlfriend. I was one of the few people he talked to about it. Two weeks after having discovered his ex was cheating, he found out I had feelings for him, by reading a blog post I'd written about having a crush on someone and pushing me about who it was about, till he finally asked if it was about him.
He told me that given the mindset he was in, he couldn't treat me the way I deserved to be treated, but he still cared a lot about me. He told me never to cry because it felt really wrong to me when I cried, and that he admired me and my strength ( owing to having had a tough past). Anyway we stayed friends, and I even met up with him when I visited his city, and everything felt normal.
However, he slowly ceased communication and began to get distant. He seemed really depressed and went a day or two without replying to my messages. When I asked him about it, he said he meant to call, because he knew I'd be upset, but he got busy. Then he told me it was okay to hate himself because he hated himself too.
I felt bad, and ended up doing little things to cheer him up, like giving him a handmade card for his birthday, sending him pictures of food he liked etc. Recently he told me there's more to him than food and we could talk about other things as well. I feel thrown. For one, I keep trying to reach out, and now the content of the conversation I'm making is being criticised. How can I make good conversation when I don't even know if I can expect a reply?
If he hadn't been a relatively good friend, I'd have walked by now. If he hasn't just been hurt, I'd not have been this patient. However is it's been 4 months now and this dancing on eggshells is exhausting. Am I the asshole for wanting to subject him to an honest conversation about whether we are even friends still, given he may be a bit depressed?
Also, the conversation can take place over text, or in person in another 2-3 weeks when I visit his city, where I'm uncertain we will even meet at this point.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
owPpz7l8PgDGUsgXDwBPyAocRqbj8HZd
|
asj2ie
|
{
"description": "saying screw this friendship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I say screw this friendship?
|
I've been friends with her for half my life (Friend A) There was actually three of us that were really good friends. Then one of them (Friend B) slept with my significant other (you can check out my past post.... it was a mess).
I dumped the friend that slept with my husband. And everyone else associated with her. But that other good friend? Friend A, she was innocent in all of it. And she said she was done with Friend B. B was changing and was acting out a lot. Friend A didn't mention it to me, because she didnt want me to feel caught in the middle of them. I thought we were on the same page when it came to cutting Friend B out of our lives.
Now, Friend A doesn't reach out to me (not that I have either, I'll admit). She said she keeps it cordial with Friend B because they have mutual friends. Well, now it seems like more than that. They take those cringey, cute photos together at bars like they are back to being best friends. I even mentioned to Friend A that I felt like we were going to fade away and no longer be friends. Friend A said she has to be nice to Friend B and that she'd never expect me to hang out with that other girl. We would make time for one another when I visted in December. But then we haven't talked since that conversation took place.
She had asked in November when I'd be in town. I told her, so she could take off work. I arrived back in my hometown. I didn't text her. She didn't text me. And the week we had talked about getting together, she was out at the bars with Friend B.
And today I see that my "friend" tagged the Friend B in a post saying they should go to another event in town.
Am I wrong if I feel like Friend A never really was a friend? Or at least not a good one. If the roles were reversed, I would never speak to Friend B ever again. I wouldn't care if we had mutual friends still. I'd ignore Friend B. I don't think that's being a bitch. I think it's pretty reasonable to think I'm not going to associate with someone who has hurt a good friend.
Am I crazy here? Part of me wants to write Friend A and be like wtf is this? Are we just done?? Are you choosing her over me just because I live out of state now and you're lonely?
My life has been a mess this last year, and I have fucking no one anymore. I'm just pissed and confused. So, am I in the wrong here for expecting her to drop Friend B after she said she was done with her?? Is it odd for her to change her mind?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
0bS0JKrpeNMmFYEcfg5g7ZuFYicFjAth
|
a2eipv
|
{
"description": "making a small joke",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for making a small joke?
|
girlfriend has been trying to eat healthy, avacado toast and veggies for the past few days. this morning she said shes making french fries for breakfast. i said, "i thought you were trying to eat healthy." Cue tears and getting called insensitive, rude, i dont understand women, i can't joke like that. i just feel like she blew.a small joke way out of proportion and took it way to personally. or AITA for even making the joke in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CgCGU7jBMVRNnXtUNcx3JcntMQqpdQRJ
|
9z83t2
|
{
"description": "explaining something to my teacher in passing",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for explaining something to my teacher in passing?
|
I missed Monday, which is the day they announced a special schedule for the next two days (Yesterday, Today). I walked in an hour late to my first class of the day today since I didn't know better and thought the schedule was the usual, and my teacher deadpan said "You're an hour late." I handed him my pass, and in passing, said "I didn't get an e-mail" because this is my first year here, and my old school did everything by email, including announcements where I'd know about these things.
I was honestly not aware, and I simply said that I didn't know. I tried to be apologetic. He then proceeded to tell me to exit the class and talk to him outside.
He said he hated how I was retorting (I honestly just wanted to provide some explanation) and that he was upset that I was an hour late (I came on a late start day schedule, we effectively start an hour late) and some other stuff that I can't begin to remember. He was mad. I just stopped listening, at this point he was just ranting and raving, but I remember him saying for me to get back inside and try again. I just passed him silently, I'd already given him my tardy slip.
It was just me that was late that day. He claimed he showed the class the funky schedule for the week. I wasn't there that day (Monday) and when I conferred with other teachers, they said there wasn't even advisory (the time he claimed he showed the class).
The reason I'm unsure if I'm a lesser human being is because I passed by the Conduct Principal and said basically the same thing:
"Hey, u/Small1324, you're late."
"Yeah, I didn't get an e-mail."
"I know you weren't here Monday. Have a nice day."
If I hadn't tried this on someone else, and walked in and said that, sure, I'd be a jerk, I don't know why, but the first reaction I got saying that wasn't great so that ought to tell me not to do it again. But I said this in good faith, not with malicious intent, and the Conduct Principal, the one I've had most run-ins (mostly for being tardy 1-2 minutes every other morning) just said to have a nice day.
I feel like this sudden anger was statistically unexpected.¹ There's no way I'd have predicted that kind or anger.²
So am I a garbage human being³ for not knowing the schedule and choosing to explain myself instead of shut up?
----------------------
1: As you can see, I like logic more than my dictionary. Sometimes I really want to shut up, forever, and watch instead of talk. I'm not good at words, and maybe word choice was the breaking point.
2: This teacher is noted by many of my peers to be "kind of bad" and "not worth reasoning with". I've seen him with a short fuse and call someone out who was drawing in class while he was lecturing (I think you should only call someone out if they're distracting others. An individual's grade belongs to them).
3: avoiding swear words because someone at the school might be watching my every move. There's a team of Sherrifs' deputies that literally just sit at their desks and watch internet content that comes out of us. Lots of strict internet rules I've encountered before, but I'm able to be expelled, and almost the age where I can be charged with crime.
Epilogue: I've talked to two other teachers and a senior, both say I'm in the clear (I'm in a similar standing with them, I'm just "a" student, not a disrupter, not incredibly bright even though I'm apparently "gifted"). One of the teachers said some teachers might not be accepting of what appears to be a retort, although she also said that this doesn't sound like it. The other teacher was willing to go to that teacher and talk about it.
The senior student realised the core issue for me, I think. The issue was the way I said it. I said "I didn't" instead of "Sorry for not knowing". I mean, it's not like I didn't try to apologize, I guess it's just the wrong kind of words came out of my mouth. Not that I'd know, again, not the greatest with words. I'm glad he gave me some good advice as well, check the calendar when school intersects a holiday.
I tried to get this tardy excused but the person at the desk essentially said I had to be more vigilant about checking the calendar.
So again, the question. Am I less human for deciding to say something?
-------------------------
**TL;DR**: I gave an explanation as to why I'm an hour late, and my teacher pulled me out of class almost immediately and angrily ranted about me "retorting" when I walked in and said so. I'd have accepted my A status then, but I said this to the Conduct Principal as well while walking to that class and he just said to have a nice day, no anger.
Again, I'm not excusing myself. I'm explaining. I'm not trying to gain an air of self righteousness. I'm here to see if me saying something makes me less human.
--------------------------
Hopefully you guys will have a better Thanksgiving than me. I get to debate myself about this incident with one of my teachers.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
kiwABDqtR45jl314rPp5qEnswJi2YhTK
|
afcp6a
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my so because of bodily changes if I made it clear before",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for breaking up with my SO because of bodily changes if I made it clear before?
|
We were having a discussion about this earlier. I know it's not my body, not my choice, but I want to figure out what is an acceptable treshhold to break up with. My partner said none, as it is their body and they would love me regardless of any bodily changes I do.
Now I want to ask about three things, for the voilation of which WIBTA for breaking up for:
* Haircuts. Obviously not any, but if I specify a haircut I dismply dislike/am not attracted to (like dreadlocks), or one that is not cultulary appropiate (like well, a skinhead-style)?
* Tatoos/Piercings. Same as before, not attracted to.
* Gender reassignment/transitioning? One more extreme one, but I'm still curious.
Again, all of those if they have been discussed before, and again, not expecting that those will not be done, I only want to know if they are an acceptable reason for a breakup, and if not, what I should do if I'm not attracted to my partner anymore.
Let the judging begin!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
gpmpjPUG0PYxDHdwXaWskkRHm1E5B81s
|
axvrn6
|
{
"description": "never upvoting/downvoting the posts I read",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For never upvoting/downvoting the posts i read?
|
So i have been browsing reddit for about 3-4 years now and made an account 1y ago. The thing is i never(or 99% of the time) upvote or downvote the posts i read.
Are most redditors like me and the upvoting/downvoting & commenting part is the minority and is not upvoting/downvoting considered an asshole move?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HVhuViKCUijjZU3EhkiLZPxsHjaTRMvN
|
a3kghj
|
{
"description": "telling my stepdad to clean my room",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told my stepdad to clean my room
|
Basically my stepmom got a dog, the dog chewed up some papers in my room, and my stepdad told me about it when I got home. I thought he meant he cleaned it up when he told me but he didn't. My stepmom is handicap and can't really move, plus she just had eye surgery so she can't see, so I wanted to tell him to clean my room cause I knew she would if she could, but I never told him to and cleaned it myself.
If you're wondering how I live with a stepmom and a stepdad, it's very complicated.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
NSegxjKBVJCBkKhFr2yskJ9YRZVWmTJD
|
agin4t
|
{
"description": "being upset with my bf",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset with my bf?
|
My bf (30) and I (28) live together since November. We have a very good and healthy relationship overall, where communication plays a very important role. We speak about everything and we tell each other everything.
We only see each other at night (around 21.30h) when we arrive home after a long day. It's the moment when we talk about our day and have some time for us.
So, last night I arrived at home by 21h and I prepared dinner. About 21.30h he texts me to say he'll be late arriving home. I say OK and then to watch TV waiting for him. Around 22.30h he texts me again to day I should have dinner since he'll be late. I ask him what time is it late and he responds around 1am. So, I tell him OK, is it everything OK? No answer to this...
So, I had dinner and not long after I went to sleep.
This morning I woke up next to him, but I don't know when he arrived nor where he has. He didn't reply.
This is not normal for us, since if we usually go out or something, we tell each other where we are, with friends, with family, at the gym... Whatever. This is the first time he does this. Arriving late without saying anything.
I am a little upset with him for this, but I don't if I am overreacting. Should I confront him tonight? Because I don't want any unnecessary drama.
What do you thing AITA here for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
RmKP7wnMHsq9XxQW8Oh804DDSMpbHyke
|
a4b23w
|
{
"description": "not wanting my film in an LGBTQ+ festival",
"pronormative_score": 85,
"contranormative_score": 67
}
|
AITA for not wanting my film in an LGBTQ+ festival?
|
A more accurate title would be: Am I The Homophobe. So here’s my situation;
I’m an indie film Writer/Director, based in Australia. Myself and my crew have recently completed a short film, and have just launched our festival run. For this film, I was the Writer as well as Co-Director (important). It’s also worth note that our crew is full of very close friends, and there was no negativity or tension on-set.
For context, I’m a straight male. My Co-Director is female, and currently in a serious relationship with a woman. My Producer (male) is gay, and engaged to his partner. And my Assistant Director identifies as a lesbian. The four of us have the say on where the film is entered, festival wise.
Within the crew of roughly 20 people, I’d estimate that 6ish people openly identify as LGBTQ+. Like I said above, I’m the only person in one of the executive roles that is straight.
There’s a particular festival that caught the other threes eyes when we were shortlisting. The festival is specifically for LGBTQ+ films or filmmakers. One of the entry rules is that your film must have some kind of LGBTQ+ themes/context OR you as a filmmaker must identify as LGBTQ+. Our film has absolutely nothing in it relating to the LGBTQ+ community, and this fact is something that all four of us agree on.
So the only way we’d be accepted, is if the key people identify as LGBTQ+. The problem is I don’t. Now the other three are fairly keen on the idea of entering the festival, but my concern would be that I’d either be assumed by the festival organisers/audience/media to be LGBTQ+ or that I’d be excluded from receiving awards, based on my sexuality. If my Co-Director were to win awards for OUR role in the film, and I wasn’t eligible, I feel like that’s somewhat discriminatory. Obviously this doesn’t sit well with me.
So AITA for opposing entering the festival? Should I support something that I can’t really be apart of?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
TDPbBlismJMddLU3ecZiYiLe19i19Vuc
|
b4tr6j
|
{
"description": "taking my amigo to a trap house",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for taking my amigo to a trap house
|
AITA for taking my “homie” who seemed to be well involved in the “street” life to a trap house and him saying I dont want to be hanging with people like that or maybe that was a realization he came to but he kept pressing it as if I enjoyed the home and the people it was not a bad place normal home couches tvs xboxes but we call it the trap bc shit goes thru there, AITA? Im sure he views me differently but starting not to give a fk
Maybe i should have took him to a chill plug idk
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
vF1IJRCWeNWKxaYTlCCDkVQgSTYkevS7
|
auhmt7
|
{
"description": "fighting against dad",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for fighting against dad?
|
I like playing tennis. I'm far from the best players, but I love the sport. Dad did, too. He'd get involved in my matches, taking videos of me and whatnot, you know, standard dad stuff. Except for that right after every loss, when I was most devastated, he'd list out, very bluntly, all the things I did wrong and tell me to get better. Every time I lost, I tell him to hold off, and he doesn't. This eventually results in a talk where he promises not to and still repeats his offenses the next time. I've been through this for more than a year, now, and the same thing still happens.
​
So, one day after practice (not even a match), he starts doing the usual thing, and I say "Yeah, I know" in a sort of disagreeable tone (I don't even know what it was; all I know is it felt neutral for me and was objectively not confrontational). He heats up, saying "what is wrong with you? I'm just trying to help and look at how you treat me!" I say that he's doing fine, I'm not feeling in such a good mood, just we can get home and discuss this. He says ok. Halfway through the car ride, he yells, "you think you're so good and tennis? Look at how trash your forehand is! I'm trying to help you and you treat me like garbage!" I muster all the patience and sweetness I have left and again just tell him to talk about this when we get home. Close to home, he says, "You know what? I should just leave you at home to do nothing all day! You're useless!" I'm really upset now, and I break. "I'M A FAILURE, ALRIGHT?! I'm SORRY!" He responds with "FUCK YOU! GET OUT OF THE CAR!"
​
That was it. If I had any fear of the man, it disappeared right then and there. I had had enough of him using me as a punching bag, treating me like an array of numbers. All these years, I was like a pressure cooker, slowly building up pressure on the inside while appearing fine on the outside, and that day I exploded. I had had enough of him. I grabbed a racket (in case he tried to approach me), walked out, and screamed "I HATE YOU!" at the top of my lungs. A minute goes by, he tries to approach me and says, "Are you done? Get back in the car!" I run off, screaming "FUCK OFF! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" He repeatedly called me, trying to get me to come back. Every time, I'd answer with swears at the top of my lungs. I never knew I was capable of such foul words. I was the quiet kid who never swore in school, and now here I was, saying stuff like "I hope you die homeless and alone, " "you only care about the money in your bank account, " "you do not deserve to be a father, go drink your problems off" you know, every horrible insult I could think of.
​
I ran two towns over to a Dunkin' Donuts, called my mom, and had her drive me back home while my dad stayed in the basement to avoid contact.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a6ex4f
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{
"description": "going to my mates house after being told not to",
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|
AITA for going to my mates house after being told not to?
|
‘Ey Reddit, recently some events from my past have started creeping in my mind, making me feel massive regret and just feel like a general asshole. So, I guess the general idea is to just get it all out and hear from others what they think.
So about a year ago now, I had a best mate. For context, we’re both blokes in our early twenties. We knew each other from school and hung out each day, whether it was spending the day gaming or going to the gym, but it was a great time either way and we supported each other through a lot. They were the closest I’d ever been to someone which meant a lot to me since I had trouble maintaining close relationships in the past.
Despite the positive aspects of the friendship, life in general was still rough and I was struggling with major depression. We ended up having a few fights spread across the months and my mate had his own things he was dealing with as well. In the end, we always reconciled and tried to learn from whatever happened. We were both apart of a bigger friendship group, but honestly the I felt distant to most of them and looking back at it, the whole group was probably a toxic environment for me. I could go into why if anyone feels it’s necessary, but I don’t think it’s particularly relevant? I guess in relation to my close mate, they weren’t happy with the choice I made. Regardless I tried to move away from this group to focus on my own physical and mental health, but I stayed in contact with my mate since despite any fights or difficulties, I do think they were a positive impact on my life.
This all accumulates to why I’m making this post. At this point, I was a bit of a loner and my depression was really bad. The day before, my Dad was hospitalized after a stroke and I had asked my mate to hang out and keep my mind off things. They declined not saying why, so I was pretty gutted. I can’t remember exactly what I said as a response, but it was a general statement that wasn’t noteworthy and they responded with a simple: “That’s fine.” Due to my mood and recent events (although I recognize that it’s not fair to blame my mood for my actions and I do need to take responsibility for what I say), I responded with: “No it’s not fine.”
This ended up sparking fight as my mate went on a rant about how I was being aggressive, and they didn’t want anything to do with me. At first, I did try to be reasonable and apologize for what I said (as I do agree it was aggressive), but eventually I just got caught up in the emotion and tried to defend myself which ended up getting me blocked. My mind went full panic and I tried calling them. My mindset here was: My mate meant a lot to me, they were the only close mate I had and I was afraid to lose anymore since my Dad was in bad shape in the hospital. I tried calling them but they just ignored me once or twice before picking up a third and I explained I wanted to talk in person, but they responded with they don’t want to talk to me ever again. I said I’d really like to come over and apologized for offending them but they just said ‘No’ and hung up.
After that, I just went over to my mates house anyway. Thinking about it honestly turns me red from embarrassment since it’s pathetic, but I really wanted to reconcile or at least talk in person to try make amends. I knocked on the door and they were fuming, telling me to understandably fuck off, of which I just did and went home depressed. We weren’t in contact for awhile then, but afterwards we awkwardly came across each other at the gym. They were still pissed and said I trespassed by coming over and I did apologize, but the relationship was pretty much dead by that point so nothing either of us said could do anything to help the situation. But yeah… overall I still feel like absolute shit when I think about the situation and I kinda hope loading it off’ll help.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
PCXVXB08XcDPfMZTFZuWH03b9TIRCBHW
|
alpih8
|
{
"description": "ditching my classmates when they tried to sneak someone out of school",
"pronormative_score": 4,
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}
|
AITA for ditching my classmates when they tried to sneak someone out of school?
|
My school lets students leave early if they don't have any lessons left that day but only if you have parental consent.
Every time a student wants to exit the school they have to go to the school Secretary to get a permission slip, this was a very busy afternoon and a lot of kids wanted to get a permission slip
So the school Secretary started giving out "group exit slips"
She gave me and 2 other students a group permission slip but those 2 students tried to sneak their friend out of school (she didn't have her parent's permission to leave school early)
I went along with it for a while but when we got to the school's gate the gatekeeper started asking questions because he saw that there were only 3 names on the slip so I just told him My name (which was on the slip) and ditched the other 3 kids trying to get out
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
kB92lHGAAAluXUSbrXvvtxvo1yCniwqG
|
axvtfa
|
{
"description": "not going to a family wedding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not going to a family wedding?
|
Back in January my partner asked if I wanted to stay with him and his family at a hotel for about 4 nights for a family wedding. I told him at the time I wouldn’t know what my schedule would be like, so don’t book for me. It would be 4 weeknights, and I’ve just started my post grad and am on the job hunt, so I’m trying to keep myself available.
About 2 days ago he tells me his parents have booked the hotel for 6 people (parents, my partner and I and his brother + brother’s girlfriend) and asked if I wanted to come. I have 3 pieces of assessment due over those 4 days, so I told him I wouldn’t be able to come even if I wanted to. The next day we got into a big fight about it, since his parents already booked for me and he’s upset that I don’t want to do this with his family/I’m not making the effort for him. We’ve had similar arguments before regarding my commitment to his family/events. He’s very extroverted and has a lot of family that he wants me to meet and be as close to as he is, but I’m extremely introverted and my family consists of my parents and my 1 uncle I see about 4 times a year, so, although I've been trying my best, it’s been a huge change for me. In addition to this, he knows I hate weddings and I really have nothing in common with his family. I can’t help but feel as though unless I’m attending every single event, AND being happy about it, it’s not enough. (FWIW I’m always polite and friendly with his family, and I'm good friends with his brother.)
I ended up venting about it to my parents, and my mother told me that being anti-social and admitting that I don’t get along with his family would ruin our relationship and that I wasn’t making enough of an effort. When I asked her if I should lie and say “I wish I could go” she said yes.
I’ve had some time to reflect on the situation, and I can’t tell if I’m just being immature for not wanting to go to this event, and if maybe I should just suck it up because that’s how relationships work. I don’t want to lie to my partner about my wants and needs and the kicker is: I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. Neither was his brother’s gf. His parents just hoped that we could show up under the pretence that “we’re already here”.
I’ve been told I can be unempathetic and cold before, and I thought I'd worked on that, but I'm worried that I'm too dumb to see what I've done wrong, so I really need some sort of outside perspective. I never really thought our difference in social needs/family would have such an impact on our relationship, but it seems to really be grating on him. I’ve made no requirements for him to get to know my family, so it feels like a double standard, but his family is clearly very important to him, so I can see how that’s a false equivalence. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
K7C71LPJsbqFbvYK75suG5fgxjF6bXvX
|
amat0k
|
{
"description": "not sharing Toilet roll",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not sharing Toilet roll?
|
This seems really petty but I feel like in the house share I'm in, I'm the only one who provides toilet roll.
For example, there are 10 empty rolls and at least 8 of them are mine.
Am I being an arsehole if I start taking my toilet roll back to my room after using it?
It would leave the house with no toilet roll but why should I pay to help wipe 4 other adults arses?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
pmskqrkdnIYG5KL2PBkXZvCKxxgpB5Vq
|
a1nxyb
|
{
"description": "skipping the line at a grocery store",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for skipping the line at a grocery store?
|
AITA for skipping the line at a grocery store? For context, we're shopping in the grocery store with my friend and the way the lines work in the basket lane is that there are 2 cashiers that has 1 major line and people will pick either of the cashier to form another mini line of 3 people where you will have to wait.
It was about 1 PM, I was hungry as fuck, just got out of school and stressed out. Haven't eaten anything besides breakfast. We go to the line and I was waiting about 10 minutes before someone stopped moving while being in front of the single long line. There was nobody going to the other cashier so I decided to look at the other people and they seem like they didn't give a fuck about holding 20 or more people who have now gathered while they where just standing there waiting for the single cashier to be empty. By this point, I was probably 5th or 4th in line (I don't remember) so I decided to go to the cashier and pay for our stuff.
The people in front of me didn't like this and some dude yelled "EXCUSE ME THERE'S A LINE HERE" So I yelled back " I KNOW, YOU AREN'T MOVING SO I DECIDED TO MOVE BY MYSELF" after that, I let the dude who was in front to go ahead of me, thinking that they didn't see the other cashier that was open. But he politely declined and smiled. And the dude that yelled said " I WANT TO BUT THIS GUY IS IN FRONT OF ME" I have no idea what this dude is on about and why he's so angry about a grocery line where I was 5th in line. Maybe he thought I skipped the whole line of 20+ people? I did feel like I killed somebody because I honestly hate strangers talking at me, especially yelling. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
C9naYfGlIoa3LkDpQzuJ1DM3eeGHXsvN
|
a742j1
|
{
"description": "not letting my older sister to be next to the driver",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting my older sister to be next to the driver?
|
So my family was driving for vacation and me and my older sister are always fighting about who should be next to the driver( my dad).
So before we drove my sister said that she should be in front for half of the drive, and I should be in front on the other half of the driving to where we slept. I thought she meant that she would be in the driving to there and I would be in the returning to the home drive. So we drive to where we slept and on the last day she says she is going to be in front because I didn’t say anything when we drove on the first day( even tho I thought we agreed that she will be on the first day and that I will be on the last day, but she meant that she will be on half on the first day AND be in the last day all the drive) so I says that’s not fair but she said I should have listened. So after awhile of arguing she proposed that I can be on the drive back if I won’t listen to music with my ear phones. So I think this is bullshit but I really want to be in front because it makes me feel better when driving so I say ok. But I really planned to be on my earphones when she will sleep. But she woke up in the middle of the drive and said I can’t be in front anymore because I broke the rule. I said I don’t give a crap about the rule because she acted like an asshole and immature because it doesn’t matter if I’m on my earphones because its mine and this is stupid. But luckily my father sided with me and said the the rule was petty and for the rest of the drive I stayed with earphones. AITA for lying and breaking the rule ? Or am I ok because she was wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
yTBHF4uOySLdL6OqFwFNxPWmufscm0XA
|
akjk1j
|
{
"description": "not wanting to sleep in bed with my boyfriend every night",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to sleep in bed with my boyfriend every night?
|
Throwaway account because he knows my username and I don't want to bring it up unless I'm sure I'm not being unreasonable.
My boyfriend and I don't live together, but I spend two to four nights a week at his place. We're polyamorous, so on weekends where his other partner and I both stay over, we take it in turns to sleep in the bed with him or alone in the spare room every other night. I secretly enjoy this setup because I'm not a very tactile person but he really is, and the idea of cuddling and sleeping next to anyone more than two nights in a row is not enjoyable, even him.
We have plans to move in together in the near future so I want to figure out if I should just suck it up, or if it's reasonable for me to broach the idea of maybe getting separate beds.
Now I love my boyfriend and I'm very happy in our relationship. That's not the problem, before anyone gets the wrong idea. I just don't like being in close proximity for a long time and the idea of sleeping in the same bed as someone all night every night is really uncomfortable for me. I don't even like sitting on the same sofa for a long period of time.
Help me out here, Reddit. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I also don't want to be uncomfortable for the rest of our relationship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
2VmnigwTFbsXtHEXylHEIWgZyCzDihEe
|
aur0cm
|
{
"description": "reminding someone they've asked me the same question before",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for reminding someone they’ve asked me the same question before?
|
Maybe this is kind of dumb, but as I lack certain social skills I wonder if this was rude or a social faux pas.
I only said something because from time to time people will ask me the same get-to-know-you questions, as if completely forgetting previous conversations. It’s become a pet peeve because it makes me feel like they’re only asking to appear nice, not because they’re actually interested.
Today’s example: a coworker I’ve known for a while and am friendly with, passed by and noticed my labret piercing. He asked “oh, is that new??” A few months ago he asked the same question with the exact same tone, etc, and it started a conversation. I answered “I’ve had it for a long time...you’ve asked that before.”
I thought it was just a casual response, or maybe my slight annoyance made me sound bitchy, idk, but I immediately regretted letting my inner autist out.
He shrugged and said “eh....I’m flighty?”
Aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
f4sdi1etSIfAM6vBDKjthdAjcHExR5IF
|
b3z33k
|
{
"description": "being concerned about my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being concerned about my girlfriend
|
Girlfriend is currently finishing up placement for school. Her shift starts at 6pm. She texts me whenever she arrives at work/placement everyday without fail. Today, she did not. I received no contact from her after 5:20 pm, didn’t text back, didn’t answer phone calls etc.
Around 9pm, after three and a half hours of no contact and ignored texts and calls I decided I would call the clinic she had her placement at to make sure she had arrived safely. So I called, they said she was there, and that was that. Moments later I start receiving texts from her saying how the secretary at the clinic thought I was controlling and how embarrassed she was. Now I feel like a bag of crap but I’m having a hard time because my intentions, I felt at least, were good. I’m a little upset that the secretary immediately jumped to conclusions as well.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
331ekDXDI1VcFsYO8ugi23ghFOd0X6XA
|
ahjudi
|
{
"description": "ignoring my friends after they chose not to go with me to a Music Festival",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ignoring my friends after they chose not to go with me to a Music Festival?
|
Long post. I apologize in advance.
Backstory: This entire dilemma is a trivial first world issue but I cant seem to shake off how upset I am. I am in a friend group of about 4 couples (8 of us total) but only 6 of us are involved in this situation. This friend group likes to go to music festivals. We generally go to the same music fests together with the exception of two (Coachella and EDC).
Also, since there are many players at work here, couples and acronyms to avoid confusion are below:
- GF (girlfriend) and I
- BF (best friend. Not to be confused with boyfriend for the sake of this post)
BFGF (My best friends girlfriend)
X (3rd male in couple) and Y (3rd female in couple)
Let me be clear that I am also very close to X and Y, so they are not just acquaintances. Also note that my GF and I are the Coachella supporters and XY are the EDC supporters. Finally, X enjoys EDC enough to belittle Coachella with phrases like “F- Coachella” at any oppurtunity. This doesn’t hurt my feelings in any way but it is important to note for later.
Last year 2018, XY informed us that they will be going to EDC and invited us. GF and I and BF and BFGF all said no as we did not have the funds to do so. A few weeks pass by and it turns out my GF spontaneously received a way to get Coachella Tix via friend who agreed to let us pay in installments. BF and BFGF told us that they couldn’t come w us because of money but shortly after, they bought tix to go to EDC w XY. All of us had an amazing experience at our separate festivals but BF and BFGF came back and mentioned that it was fun but XY brought along some guests with uninvited baggage (drug use, vomitting, mass crowd in a cramped hotel, etc) Also important for later. They did also mention that they felt they would probably have had a better time if the 8 in our friend group only went. Coachella 2019 monthly installment tickets came out after Coachella 2018 was over, and my GF and I along with BFGF started the process to pay for tickets. By Dec 2018 all 3 of our tickets were paid off. In multiple moments last year (some intoxicated, others completely sober) BF and I had conversations where he mentioned that he was going to come with me to Coachella since he went to EDC with XY and he really wanted to go with us. BFGF would occasionally make joking comments that if the lineup wasn’t good she would sell her tickets but my BF would always say “shes going to go. Ill make her go”. In those conversations, Ive also mentioned that I would go to EDC 2019 with them for the hell of it and because if I was going to go it would be with them anyway (to emphasize my willingness to go I will mention that my gf will be on a cruise and I'd be a 5th wheel)
This year 2019, the Coachella lineup was announced, and the artists involved did not impress BF or BFGF (due to their dislike of headliners and not knowing the smaller artists and groups). BFGF had already had her ticket paid for with the monthly installments but my BF had not. He would have to buy a ticket out of pocket. BFGF informed us that she was thinking about selling her ticket but nothing was decided. BFGF told us this plan in our group text with the others. X mentioned that BF and BFGF should just go with him and Y to Peru when they travel overseas within the next few months instead of going to Coachella. Both my BF and BFGF “liked” this text (again, I know this is trivial first world problems) and this gave me the strong impression that they would rather go to Peru with XY instead of Coachella with my GF and I but I never was told a “yes” or “no”. My GF and I car camp at Coachella and need to decide who is coming in specific cars so I ask my BF if he was planning on still going to Coachella or if his gf leaned him towards the “not going” direction. Despite the text conversations, I was expecting something along the lines of a “hell yeah I'm going” based on the knowledge of our verbal agreements. But instead I received a “I didn’t really want to go in the first place” he also mentioned that he is willing to try it another year when there are artists he wants to see. This just left me feeling abandoned because it seems like a repeat of last year and I suspect they will go to EDC like last year as well. My first argument is that GF and I go to shows that BF and BFGF invite us to (most are shows in which we don’t know the dj) so why cant they do the same for us for Coachella, similar to how I would go to EDC? Granted, the tickets for the smaller events we go to throughout the year are never more than $40 but the amount that my GF and I have gone to has added up to an amount fairly high so having them compare these smaller events to Coachella is irrelevant. My second argument is that my BF and BFGF will go to just about anything that XY inform them of (Biggest event being EDC). In fact, 90% of the time, XYs secondary group will come along (the ones that brought along various baggage at EDC) and will affect the night a bit but BF and BFGF still insist on going wherever XY go despite this. Also when we do go and see a show, BF, BFGF and XY will stick w one another, take pictures and videos, hug each other and my GF and I are left feeling like the odd couple out of our friend group.
I 100% understand that it is their money and they can do with it as they please. I also know that they can do whatever they want or don’t want to do with whomever they want. I have no right to dictate how they spend anything but Im feeling as though spending has less to do with it and the couple they decide to do a task and spend with is more the deciding factor. Knowing past history, my BF and BFGF will likely decide to actually go to EDC or Peru w XY, instead of Coachlla w my GF and I. I also understand that this sounds like I am being jealous that my BF is going to go anywhere that X goes (and yes, if I must admit, I am) but I am also equally upset at my BFGF for saying no as well, and she is obviously not my BF.
Now, to avoid seeing negative phrases or talks that will further upset me (like F- Coachella or “the lineup is trash” both of which were said in our group texts while I remained quiet), Ive deleted all social media apps that have me involved with my friend group and have silenced our group text on my phone. I just don’t want anyone to rain on my parade with those comments now that I was gut punched by my BF and BFGF, and to be honest I really love Coachella and don't need it thrashed on. Final important note is that my gf, bf and bfgf all work together and I have been giving them the cold shoulder ever since I received the “I never really wanted to go” text. This music festival event was the cherry on top. It is usually like trying to pull teeth to get my BF to go somewhere (snowboarding, winter vacation, go to the bar or restaurants with our other friends, etc). However, the usual trend is that if he invites me somewhere (money involved or not) I am always willing to go. I haven’t ignored them in an effort to change their minds and have them decide to go to Coachella. I just want to distance myself from people whom I felt would do anything with me just for the sake of having fun. People whom have stated they would go with me to such events, raised my hopes, and then given me reasons to believe I am in a one way friendship, cast out for other people. I will say hi and respond to anything they say to me, but nothing more than that. Is distancing myself from them for a bit and giving them the cold shoulder because I feel like I’m in a one way friendship and because I grow weary of the inconsistencies bad? AITA?
Sorry, I know grammar and syntax are terrible but I'm quite tired.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
avz2xq
|
{
"description": "not speaking to my friend after she gave me an intervention",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not speaking to my friend after she gave me an intervention?
|
So my sophomore year, I was face timing with my best friend from 7th grade. Long story short, our families both moved and so she ended up going to college in the south and I ended up going to college in the north but we stayed in touch by visiting each other every year and FaceTime, phone calls, etc.
So one day when we were facetiming, I told her, let's call her Sarah, about my weekend where I babysat my two friends who did acid, and my other friend who did and edible and just got super drunk. They wanted to go to a few places around town so I was the DD and babysat, mostly the two on acid.
So at this point, she asks me if I had ever done it and I said yes, I had earlier in the summer around my birthday and that I had done Molly about twice my freshman year. She didn't say anything at the time and we continued talking until we didn't have anything else to talk about.
Then about a few days later, she wants to talk and calls me when I'm available. At this time, she basically gives me an intervention about the drugs I'm using and how it's too much and I dont want to end up like my biological mom who was/ is alcoholic ( Im adopted). She then tells me she talked to her brother about it and he said that I needed to stop since these were hard drugs. She talked to her roommate, who has seen my snap stories but has never met me, and she says that it seems like I'm partying all the time. I'm clearly upset at this time, I've done it three times in about a year and a half/ two years but I'm still getting good grades/on the Dean's list, working two jobs, and doing quite well ( at least I think so). Plus the drugs I've done, I've gotten from trusted friends who have had tried and tested it themselves and I take smaller amounts/ watch myself. I drink every now and then ( generally work on the weekends at one job) , but I always watch myself as I'm not comfortable getting black out drunk or anywhere near that level.
I ended hanging up the call since my sister ( current roommate at the time) needed help unloading her car. I told her we could talk later and we didn't cause she could tell I was upset that she was throwing this at me but she said that she was concerned about me. I said that's fine and left it.
At this point, I talked to my friends and they all said that she was basically the asshole and hypocritical as she binge drinks all the time, tells me stories of her being black out drunk, used to being vodka in a water bottle to high school and making other risky decisions.
I haven't talked to her since except for a happy birthday and I kinda miss her but was I the asshole? Cause if I decide to try to patch things up, I don't know if I should apologize.
|
HISTORICAL
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b51fj7
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{
"description": "kind of inviting myself on a trip with my husband and being a little hurt he said no",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kind of inviting myself on a trip with my husband and being a little hurt he said no?
|
This is my first post if I apologize if I don’t do this exactly right.
My husband and his uncle ( who is going through a rough divorce, that’s the reason for the trip) planned a trip to a concert about 4.5 hours away. The concert happens the day after my husband is on shift (24/48 shift work) and he is notorious for falling asleep if he sits down for more than 5 minutes after a shift day, so I was concerned about him driving 4.5 hours by himself the day after a shift. He’s never fallen asleep driving before, but long trips after work aren’t the norm. I offered to drive him, get a separate room at the hotel and do my own thing, then drive home the next day.
Initially he said he’d have to ask his uncle about it, then just changed the subject when I brought it up, so I figured he didn’t want me to go for whatever reason, or his uncle didn’t, and let it go. Then his mom found out the trip was the day after a shift and she suggested I go, which he acted the same way about.
So the week before the trip, he starts saying that he doesn’t want to go, wishes he could cancel, doesn’t want to be away from us ( we have two kids under three, and he’s on shift for 48 hrs the day after he gets back). I again offered to drive so he could rest on the way, and also because we used to take road trips and have a blast before the kids. He said he’d check with his uncle. I dropped it. His mom called me on Wednesday and brought it up again. I told her I wasn’t going, it’s their thing, and she said that she talked to his uncle and he was fine with it. I didn’t mention this to him, but it kinda (nah, a lot) hurt my feelings. Like I didn’t want to go to the concert or hang out with them even, honestly after being with kids all day every day I would be perfectly happy to take a shower without someone yelling mom and then paint my nails. But then I also think I basically invited myself along on their trip, whether I was trying to be an interloper or not.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Q7JPJBC0P1Z8fvY6QAUPF4zUGEsJJ11Q
|
aph0j3
|
{
"description": "logging into my gfs Snapchat because I was suspicious that she was cheating, and I was right",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 38
}
|
AITA for logging into my gfs Snapchat because I was suspicious that she was cheating, and I was right?
|
My girlfriend and I were going through some troubles recently and I noticed one of my close friends (her ex) starting to talk to her more, I noticed that more text notifications popping on her phone when never she used it in front of me. Due to this, after a big argument on a Friday, we weren’t texting as much over the weekend, and yesterday I wanted to see if my suspicions were correct. I logged into her Snapchat and saw that she and one of my closest friends were texting
things such as “I love you” and “I want to kiss you rn” I confronted them via text about this and she got mad that I logged into her Snapchat in the first place. Am I the asshole?
SIDE NOTE: I have her login only due to one time where she needed me to do her streaks
SIDE NOTE #2: If the formatting is bad, it’s due to me being on mobile
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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}
|
WRONG
|
x9wU90HY7fqiPrVO8Es24AHqKr87ITvD
|
as0oic
|
{
"description": "mixing up housesitting dates",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA - Mixing up housesitting dates
|
Heya everyone, I have a slight conundrum for you all.
Three-four weeks ago a family that I know pretty well asked me to housesit and watch their 3 dogs, 3 cats and 4 fish from February 15th to February 18th. I said that I would if I didn't have work at those dates, and we agreed upon it.
Flash forward to about a week ago on Wednesday. The mom's text read "confirming if you could stay from Friday to Wednesday", I misread it as Monday, and said yes, everything was fine.
Her husband came over from Jersey yesterday and stopped at the house to clean out the fish tank and other stuff around the house, then drove up to where the rest of the family was. He asked if I was sleeping over Tuesday and said I couldn't because I have school and work. He said "no big deal, I'll get the neighbors to do it."
So about an hour ago I get a text from the mom and the mom said "we confirmed it for Wednesday. Can you at least sleep over after coming home? Because otherwise I'll have to cancel my daughter's birthday vacation"
I responded that I was sorry that I misread everything and that if the neighbors can't I'm willing to sleep over after school and work, but the neighbors doing the next two days would make my life a lot easier.
Am I in the wrong? Am I a flaky asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
THPNWc2Vw90m7uutnTpfsMnD1KT52Utp
|
a3sejs
| null |
AITA Christmas Edition
|
Let me preface this by saying I feel like the asshole.
I was at my mum's recently and while she was out I was tidying and found a gift that was for me. I shouldn't have opened it, but I did.
I am a very picky person. I know this, so if someone makes it known to me that they are interested in getting me a gift, I tell them how picky I am and how much I hate surprises. And I make sure they know in well in advance so there is no risk of them having bought something already.
I'm the worst, I know.
However, having it be my mother, she knows how picky I am. She knows that I hate surprises. I told her what I was interested in months ago. I sent her the link to it and I explicitly said, I want this and nothing else. For the sake of all honesty, it's a snapback. I'll link to it in an edit. Needless to say, the gift I found was not the hat.
I've had this discussion with her multiple times and she still refuses to listen. She says she likes surprises so she wants to surprise me. This has been going on for years. I feel like I have gone out of my way to ensure she knows what I like, even, while we're out shopping together before my birthday/Christmas, point something out and tell her that this would count as a present.
I know I should be grateful. I just get so frustrated that she doesn't listen and that she would be equally frustrated if our situations were reversed.
Ftr, I am always gracious when receiving a gift. I needed to vent and possibly learn that I need to change my ways.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
CcYXQBHqzgeo0vA4G383PvK0YkMGFLr4
|
aa7zz8
|
{
"description": "not dismissing people's opinions unless I ask for them",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not dismissing people's opinions unless I ask for them?
|
I have some friends as well as most of my family that keep trying to offer their opinions without me having asked for it. If I didn't ask for it then I don't care about it. It's so annoying. If I wanted to be criticized I would've asked. The only person's opinion I welcome at all times is my husband's, and that's because I know he always gives it in good faith and he's far calmer and more rational than I. I feel like I should consider the others at least a little, though--i.e. with a grain of salt--but I don't. AITA for it? Also, I'm asking for your opinions on this, hence why I made this post--so I'll take it with at least a grain of salt. :) There are also some exceptions such as in dance class when the instructors or a dancer far more advanced than I is helping me improve by offering pointers.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
gHN879tIrfE0i1R7B6dNDRQs8ogNYONC
|
alysco
|
{
"description": "asking my study buddy if she was transferring schools",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I asked my study buddy if she was transferring schools
|
I have a friend that I study with because we're the same major. While I wouldn't say we're close friends, she was the first friend I made in college and we meet up from time to time for lunch and study sessions. Recently in a text exchange, we set up another study session over the weekend and she lamented about being overburdened with essays to write as applications for another college were due on Friday. I responded by asking her if she was trying to transfer out of our school. It has been over 24 hours and she hasn't responded yet. My social IQ is shit, so I don't know if I committed a faux pas or came off as intrusive. AITA?
P.S. Should I bring it up during our study session or just forget about it?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
mnVwcIGo9VIvrErCM3DBzPOUt6pqvCt6
|
acz2to
|
{
"description": "wanting my sister to tell her friends the full truth",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting my sister to tell her friends the full truth?
|
About a week ago, my sister and I got into a fight. She almost broke my leg (on purpose), and I punched her in the face in anger. She didn’t leave a bruise, but I did. A few days later, we took a trip to the mountains with her friends, where I saw her tell her friends that I punched her. No explanation, nothing of the sort. All she did was say, “Oh, my brother punched me.” I don’t actually know if they view me differently, but when I confronted her about it, she said that she felt like shit and she didn’t want her friends to make her feel more like shit. Am I the asshole for wanting her to tell the truth?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
|
sDTy3HaGvFUyFlwolwynkPLkSffQQTke
|
anl0fu
| null |
AITA Banned from AskScienceDiscussion because I thought I was discussing but misunderstood rules
|
I thought I understood the rules but apparently did not. I should have asked for clarification the first time but I don’t think I did. Won’t be unbanned. It’s been over a year. Am I the asshole?
[imgur link to message](https://m.imgur.com/YTkKVhP)
Message Transcript:
Unban Request
(Between xbxbxb123 and AskScienceDiscussion moderators)
xbxbxb123
Hi, I was banned about a year ago for some reason and I can’t remember exactly why but it had something to do with discussing without knowing what I was talking about or speculating. I would appreciate it if I could be unbanned and also have the rule(s?) I broke explained more clearly, as I’m pretty sure I thought I was just discussing or asking questions related to the posts I was commenting on.
AskScienceDiscussion
Hello
We don’t undo permanent bans on request
Cheers.
Xbxbxb123
Is there a way I could get unbanned? If I didn’t understand the rules, it doesn’t seem fair to ban me for breaking them without at least explaining what I did wrong. If I remember correctly I was told what rule I broke but I didn’t understand how specifically what I did was breaking the rule, and this was never explained.
AskScienceDiscussion
>Is there a way I could get unbanned?
Do you have a better reason why you should be unbanned, other than “I don’t want to be banned anymore”? This is not something that we do without very good reason.
>If I didn’t understand the rules, it doesn’t seem fair to to ban me for breaking them without at least explaining what I did wrong
It’s your responsibility to understand the rules of a sub before you comment on it. If you violate the rules, you’re subject to being banned by the moderators. If your ban is permanent, it’s permanent.
You were given a warning about your comments, and their quality did not improve, so you were given a permanent ban. If you didn’t understand that, that’s your fault, and it doesn’t invalidate your ban.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
YseyWrINlDlviyPSkuLzNZl6B20K4vPr
|
azhvxp
|
{
"description": "being someone back to my apartment while a friend is crashing on the couch",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being someone back to my apartment while a friend is crashing on the couch.
|
I (30F) have a friend (30M) who has been crashing on my couch for the past 6 months. Usually when I hook up with people I go back to their place but last night it didn’t quite work out that way and we ended up at my place.
I have a side door to my room, so easy in and out without the rest of the house knowing, but we were not as quiet as I was hoping to be and my room is right next to the living room. I’m pretty sure my friend heard us and I feel bad.
I might just be too nice, but am I the asshole here? Some of my girl friends are saying I shouldn’t have brought someone back and it was rude of me, but my friend has also been on my couch for 6 months. I don’t want to have to keep tip toeing around my dating life but I also know he’s having a hard time and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
lEGofGbUne3nqGBSGsS6j2REawUXKLkN
|
av3kcq
|
{
"description": "going off on my boss/father for now knowing english after living in the us for ~20 years",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for going off on my boss/father for now knowing english after living in the us for ~20 years.
|
as the title says, boss barely knows a lick on english and decided to instead learn it, he surrounded himself with other native russian speakers.
Now that we need more workers, he is expecting either russians, or english professionals so he doesn't have to talk with them.
He has already declined, and scared away 5 new workers because he couldn't communicate with them and got angry, and the latest one he went off at me.
I'm the head manager here, and only english speaker, i do just about everything that requires english.
I'ts really embarrassing since he is family and the way he acts at work, and to american customers makes us loose lots of business.
Just as an example almost everyone in our family knows more then him.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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|
RIGHT
|
lBlCTg03eJpPxa7MlFo5mW1F5M1cbS1j
|
b7f3ta
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend's daughter at my moms funeral",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriend's daughter at my moms funeral?
|
I (28f) have been with my boyfriend (27m) for 2 years, we have lived together pretty much the whole time and actually have a really awesome relationship. He has a daughter who just turned 7, and she is incredible and the best kid ever but her mom has her the majority of the time about an hour away from where my bf and I live, so we are lucky if we even get her on the weekend. My mom has stage 4 NSC lung cancer. My boyfriend has been incredible through this whole thing, which has been quick and painful as hell and I am very fortunate for him. My mom and his daughter have spent some time together, but shes young and not around much and isn't exactly close to her in a way she is with his grandmother, who also has stage 4 cancer and is only suspected to live a short amount of time as well (she was legally my boyfriends guardian, so shes basically his mom).
Anyways, I need to know if I am being to sensitive in this whole thing, seeing how my mood isn't totally stable atm. We are in the process of finalizing her will and all those fun things, and my boyfriend mentions to me the other day " You know \*daughter\* would probably get some good practice for \*bfs gma\* funeral WHEN she goes to your moms." Now I had been under the impression she would not be coming, it's nothing personal at all, I love that little girl very much but her and my mom weren't close, she really doesn't understand how serious everything is because shes not around all that much and quite frankly I believe that if she doesn't have to be there, she shouldn't be, why get her all upset and scared if its not necessary. My boyfriend thinks that even though that may be the case, he's afraid of how she will react when she does actually have to go to a funeral for his grandmother, who is very close with her, and wants to be able to give her a "trial run" so to speak, so she isn't as scared when her time comes. He ended up taking it personally that I didn't want her there, and I took it personally that he considered my moms funeral just a teaching experience. We have apologized to each other made up and whatnot, but he still wants her to come.
I understand why he wants her to come, I am very worried how she will handle his grandma passing, but I don't feel like my moms funeral, where I will be a mess, is the time or place to teach her a life lesson. And a bad as it may sound, I don't want him to be focused on her while I'm breaking down, I want him to myself which sounds harsh but for just one day, I think its okay to want your SO support you. If she was actually close to her and would be affected by it, I of course would want her to come...IDK, am I in the wrong about all of this?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
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|
{
"description": "calling out my \"friends\" for being fake and then blowing up on them",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling out my “friends” for being fake and then blowing up on them.
|
For some background I’m 20M and the fake “friends” I’m referring to are M19-20. So we all graduated high school together and I didn’t really start befriending and hanging out with these guys until the beginning of senior year.
To note before I started befriending them. I had (and still do) have another group of friends who I’ve known and been close with since we were all young. But that group of friends for me after graduation we all went to various universities across the US.
So with that I started to branch out and befriend these other guys (now fake friends) during our senior year in high school because we were all thinking (and currently do) go to the same university. And everything was good, typical stuff you expect from a group of guys this age. Such as just giving each other shit and messing with one another but all in good fun and everyone’s enjoying themselves.
Well fast forward approximately 1.5 / 2 years to this most recent summer. My other 3 good friends, M19-21 (they are the other part of this group with the 3/4 fake friends) who also go to the same college. So we usually text in our group chat asking who wants to get dinner, hang out for the night, or play games on our PCs, typical stuff. And they’d always respond with excuses or they’d just not even give us an answer. So it’d just be my 3 good friends and myself doing whatever.
As well as at some point during this summer (we all have gaming computers) so we use discord to commute, they made a new channels and chats for just the 3/4 of the “friends” to use so they could ignore us and not interact with us. This is really where they seemed to start to isolate themselves and grow apart from us.
So we kept trying to get them to hang out and play games but after trying for several months. And them not even giving my one good friend the time of day for his 21st birthday party we just kinda gave up with them.
Well now it’s November and this literally happened this evening. So the ”friends” were having a bonfire and since they are all under 21, they invited my real friend, who is 21, over to fire and got him to buy them alcohol. **according to them he didn’t have to bring drinks, but I was told they wanted alcohol so that’s why they invited him over**
So with what I knew at the time, I was messaging my friend saying things like “hey man the whole situation sounds like your getting used because they wanted drinks.” And “did they only invite you so you they could drink?” Stuff like that cause to me and another good friend it really sounded like he was being used. And also they have never really been a good friend to me so I don’t think too highly of them.
Well at some point and somehow those ”friends” found out what I was saying about them and asked me in our group chat “why are you so upset and telling him to be careful.” So I flat out said y’all are fake friends and using him for his alcohol. Proceeding to rant about how they have never tried to be my friend, they’d never initiate hanging out or shit like that. They never asked how life was and how I was doing. Like stuff you do with people you care about and care for.
And according to them they aren’t fake, I’m just an insecure asshole who was never a good friend and that I was just jealous I wasn’t invited to hang out but I was already playing games with my other friend?? Then they proceeding to start bringing up pretty personal stuff and being dicks about the things I told them out of trust a while ago (stuff from when I was in a LDR and the issues and feelings I had from that relationship) and then proceeded to say I had a shit life.
So that pushed me over the edge and made my blood boil for sure. So for one of them I said something along the lines of “have fun marrying and impregnating your girlfriend who couldn’t even graduate high school on time and living that shit life.” Called another one out and said something like “no car, gets driven to college everyday, no job, no motivation, shit life..” Then I just generally said something along the lines of idc what you all think or say about me. You’ll never know how my side of the story is and what I’ve been through recently (this fall has been pretty rough for me) but I’m not going to waste my time on those who don’t care about me.
tl/dr: good friend of mine was invited to bonfire by “friends.” I messaged him telling him to be careful he’s not getting used cause they are fake. Those “friends” asked what my problem was in group chat. Starting getting personal, I called them all fake and got personal back.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
MqGEE7ehJPmefYJSu7dBdRabwVgThjIU
|
a4l0qs
|
{
"description": "not being as inclusive as my sisters in family arrangements",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not being as inclusive as my sisters in family arrangements?
|
Sorry for my poor english.
I have always been slightly sosial awkward, and normally dont take much part in setting opp parties or arrangements with familiy. Whenever sombody asks me to go get this, or drive there buy this, i do that i an instant, no arguments about how far i need to drive or how much something costs. But I only do stuff when asked. My sister came to me today and said that she thinks i dont participate in arrangements enough. She said that its is always here or my other sister who orders and pays for stuff like cakes and such for events around our parents. I didnt argue with here about that, because they always have arranged stuff like this, and i kind of become a "middel man". I drive and get the cake, pick up my sisters, or get items they need, and if it is not paid for i just pay for it, no questions asked. But i told her that, even though i dont take inititativ in arrangements by buying the cakes, or order them or other items, i help as much as i can in other areas. Neither of my sisters drive anywhere, whenever something is needed, i drive, and that also means i maintain the car that alle 3 of us use. Pay the gas, maintenance and other necessitis. I always thought that my contribution by beeing this "middel man" was more then enough.
So i am wondring am i in the wrong here? Am i the Asshole for always letting my sisters the initiativ in arrangmentes and order things and then just fill the gaps?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
pPOj644OdA3LAxSF9wm0W5KKMV4yc1co
|
ac9w62
|
{
"description": "sabotaging my friend's relationship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for sabotaging my friend’s relationship ?
|
Back in summer 2018, I introduced one of my classmates to my best friend. To make it easier for you to follow, let’s refer to my classmate as P and my best friend as U.
After weeks of getting to know each other, they dated. At first, I was genuinely happy for them, because at the time they seemed to be a well-assorted couple. So I was surprised when they broke up just after a month. Why? She told me that P was overwhelmed with jealousy, and their conversations were boring and cheesy. Furthermore, he was a bigheaded hypocrite who expects U to change to his liking, but takes no notice of her pet peeves about him. But the last straw that broke the camel’s back, was when P insisted on kissing U. Literally one month into the relationship and he wanted to have a kiss, which would be the first kiss for both of them. U wasn’t prepared for that and she quickly terminated the relationship.
Nonetheless, P gave U a lot of affection. As a consequence, U constantly told me how she missed P after the breakup, which I found ironic and also unbearable. They came back three months after. P gave U his Facebook password, which I found weird because he does that in every relationship, and because U refused to do so. Things were all good at first, I would say.
But later on, red flags appeared. Whereas U kept her relationship private and only shared it with a couple of friends, P made a huge announcement to the class, and to be honest I was a bit annoyed at how boastful he was. U actually wasn’t in the same class as P and I, so she asked me to keep an eye on him. I did so. He talked to other girls? I reported to her. He used his phone in class? I informed her. U kept me updated about their relationship too and apparently P was still as irritating. His jealousy was getting out of control. He was jealous of ME, because I talked to U a lot. He was also jealous of U’s friends, who were GIRLS. It was as if P was considering U as HIS possession, like really HIS.
Life usually gives you lemon. In this case it had given me the sourest lemon it has. I don’t know how, but P got U to give him her Facebook password, and therefore had access to U and I’s messages. He was completely intimidated by what I told U about him, obviously ignored what U complained to me and went on to trash-talk me, which I discovered through U. His jealousy of me got worse and worse, he started asking his friends between their boyfriend/girlfriend and their best friend, who would they choose. He even thought that U cheated on him with me, which was very ridiculous given that I’m gay. I haven’t come out yet, but when I do I’ll surely mock him a little bit. I remember one time U went to school with her hair tied up (she usually doesn’t), and she told me P was jealous of THAT. He said to her “Only I should see what you are up to babe.” LMAO the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. This is my favorite thing to bring up whenever I talk shit about him (yeah I’m petty too)
U had to create an another Facebook account, using a fake name so her stupid boyfriend wouldn’t find out, so she could talk to me. I didn’t want to text her original account anymore, as P surely would check up on me all the time. This was probably the most depressed I have ever been. P was very popular in class, and starting beef with him like me was a surefire way to receive hate and fake friends. On the contrary, U was back to being head over heels in love with P. Sometimes I really hate how carefree she was, because after all the one suffering the most was still me. Small fights happened here and there, but that was nothing. In fact, she already fucking kissed him. I was indescribably pissed off and disappointed when I found out. I felt like I was losing my last friend. And yet she bragged about kissing him for days, how inconsiderate of her to have brought out the asshole inside of me.
I started to seize every opportunity, to jump in on every single fight they had, to encourage her to break up, to tell her that he’s no good for her. I actually managed to make the second breakup happen. That didn’t even last for a fucking day. They came back in a day and he even changed his profile picture to her. And that’s when I gave up. I decided there’s no point trying to ruin this relationship I wasn’t supposed to care so much. Let he be a burden to her and let her heart guide her to whatever she considers happiness.
What happened after that ? She broke up with him for real. I was absolutely taken aback. I didn’t even have to do anything. She just broke up with him because he was a dick, and he deserved it. And the best part, she got over him. She is single now, and while I have gotten an arch enemy, I’m happier than ever.
TL;DR : My best friend’s boyfriend is an asshole for me and I tried everything to get her to break up with him, thinking it would be better for the both of us
So why do I post it here ? I feel like I’m to blame for too. Remember when U asked me to keep an eye on him ? I actually had already hated him at that point, thanks to U’s description of his shitty personality. My “reports” were more like trash-talks, given how derogatory they were. If I had been less biased towards U, I don’t think P and I will be enemies like we are now. Moreover, I feel like I should have done something to prevent the first comeback. If they had never come back, things wouldn’t have been so bittersweet and I wouldn’t have lost a friend.
Honestly, I look forward to lots of YTA and opinions opposed to my subjective view about P. What do you think ? Am I the asshole in this ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
9F5SqEbAI4EUWaZXOzhbfN34UBmBDV42
|
ahqn5w
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my best friend for dating the girl he knew I liked",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my best friend for dating the girl he knew I liked?
|
This happened about a month ago and we are still best friends but I want a second opinion.
​
I'm in high school and I liked this one girl since about a month and a half before this incident happened. We were really good friends and I developed a crush on her. My best friend, at the time had a girlfriend so I really didn't know that he would do this. But, I never did build up the confidence to ask her out or whatever as I have self-esteem issues and whatnot. I told my best friend that I really liked this girl and he was sort of my wingman as she was a mutual friend of ours.
​
I was really close with this girl and we talked every night about really personal stuff and I felt a connection between the two of us. But, about 2 days before my best friend and her started dating she just stopped talking to me. At this point my friend knew that I liked her but he was always flirting with her during their off hour at school.
​
Now, I get I was not really doing anything about it and I never really asked her out and I get that but he started dating her and his excuse was that they liked each other and it just happened. I think that is a poor excuse but whatever. I found out that evening when his ex is just like "Did you know that your best friend and the girl you like are dating?" (I am friends with his ex and I said that I liked this girl to her). This hit me with disbelief as I couldn't think he would do something behind my back like that. I just didn't talk to him that night even when he was spamming my phone with messages saying he wanted to work it out. But I just waited until the next day as I knew I would fuck shit up real fast if I talked to him angrily. To this day he gets annoyed whenever I give him the slightest bit of shit about the situation even though I don't really care anymore.
​
TL;DR: I liked this girl and my best friend knew about it and he went and started dating her without really giving me any sign that he would.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 2,
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
icgSAyXsBat6W97sF0LqwlBXTUEp5R3Z
|
b5dln1
|
{
"description": "feeling like my boyfriend sees his family too often",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA? I feel like my boyfriend sees his family too often.
|
Wait, before you make a decision, please hear me out. It is not as bad as it sounds, or at least I do not mean it to seem so.
S- Sister of my boyfriend.
B- Boyfriend
PA- Parents of the boyfriend and sister
We have been together for nearly 3 years
My boyfriend’s sister (S) recently got married, and moved away to another state. It’s only a 4-6 hour drive from where my boyfriend’s parents (PA) currently lives, but they take almost every other weekend to go visit the married couple. I understand that family is important, but I find this a bit excessive. The first few times, S had asked for them to come up. She had not found a job yet and was lonely, as her husband was busy most of the days. So the PA obliged them, and went up with my boyfriend (B).
This repeated many times, even after S had found a job. The most recent visit, I decided to ask B about the frequency of the visits, and if it was S asking them to come up, or if it was the PA. The last few times it was the PA’s decision, and B really seems to enjoy the city that S and her husband live in. It seems very nice, but I have never gone, I am only going off of what he has shared with me.
I was beginning to get mad, as our dates had been postponed for a few weeks (life was getting in the way, college, personal affairs, and the frequent trips), so I asked about it, which I believe offended him. He gets defensive pretty easily, so I tip-toe around certain subjects. I don’t get to spend time with him very often, as we are living separately.
Me: They got married, and moved away. How come you guys keep visiting them?
B: [Insert City] Is a really nice place, so I take every chance I can to go.
Me: Well, if I ever got married, I would want to have some form of privacy, y’know? Plus, we haven’t had a date in so long...
B: Excuse me for thinking Family is important.
(This took place a few weeks ago. The family has decided not go back until next weekend)
I didn’t say anything after the spat, and have since just kept it to myself. I hope this made some form of sense, I’ve just been really hesitant about this.
TLDR; AITA for wanting to see my boyfriend a bit more often than I already do/as much as he visits his family?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
tJ2g4Z5AakVA2ZTfj35d29xSahs8xezo
|
a6xj49
|
{
"description": "thinking a friend was being sarcastic",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for thinking a friend was being sarcastic?
|
A friend had what I thought was a sarcastic post on Facebook, and commented thinking we were on the same page. I was apparently wrong.
Mentioning race and gender because there was a point made of it.
[https://imgur.com/a/XoMRyt6](https://imgur.com/a/XoMRyt6)
Red = friend, white female
Blue = me, white male
Green = her friend, unknown race, I think they're a woman (name is unisex, picture didn't show a face)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
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}
|
WRONG
|
J4nkX7QHm3uVFfPWqIF0wm0eFtCBvmVC
|
agq2yi
|
{
"description": "telling my friends gf that he cheated",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my friends gf that he cheated
|
So my friend (16) cheated twice on his 11yr old gf bcs he was pissing me off so I jokingly catfished him thinking he wouldn't actually go along with it and he did soooo I have screenshots and my friend talked over vc with him to make him believe it was real so I had voice recording too and sent them bcs she deserves to know bcs he does this with every girl he dates and it's disgusting
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
6obZn9a4PZzfrlTNbJLcwB4wHR1cA752
|
avvbql
| null |
AITA Friends Going Out Of My Way
|
I'm not sure if this is the right place for it, and I'll keep this short. This is a throwaway account.
I've been friends with this couple for several years now, and we've been rather close. We moved together, have been roommates for several years, etc.
So I started dating this woman. We've been dating for two years, and I just moved in with her. We are engaged.
Anyway, ever since I started dating her, I've noticed that I've had to really go out of my way to hang out with this couple and keep the friendship alive. I've invited them over multiple times, but they only seem to want to go out for drinks, food, etc. I'm trying to save money as we are planning a wedding. We've invited them over multiple times for dinner, and since I've moved in with my fiancee, they've come over twice, once to pick up their dog, and another for a housewarming party.
I've been living with my fiancee now for almost 8 months. I'm tired of feeling like I'm going out of my way, always abiding by their terms, and it's stressing me out. Another one of our friends moved out here, and he lives in the same complex. I've noticed that now they are inviting him to stuff, and less so me, which is fine, but it feels like I'm being replaced, as if it's not convenient to hang out with me anymore. I should also mention that every time I end up hanging out with this couple, it's last minute, spontaneous plans. If I don't go, they make me feel bad for it, and we've gotten into arguments in the past about it.
My fiancee has started to notice and she's upset about it. I've tried multiple times to explain to this couple to plan stuff, because we may plans already, but I don't feel like it's being respected.
So, that's the backstory. Now, I just "officially" moved out of our apartment. This couple was also moving out. I hired movers because I didn't want to deal with moving furniture up and down stairs. This couple offered multiple times to help me, and I said no, I'd rather hire someone so I don't have to inconvenience anyone.
Anyway, the day of the move comes. I get my stuff moved by movers and I leave. The guy in this couple asks if I can help them, because they didn't hire movers, they rented a truck. I said "no, I've got find out how to fit my stuff at the destination that I'm moving to, sorry."
Left it at that. The guy that they've been inviting stuff to without me comes over and helps, which I'm happy that he did. Well, that night the woman posts this long post on Facebook about how she was so thankful and grateful that this best friend (which they haven't known that long) helped them out, and that she was so happy to have best friends like that in her life. It felt like a passive aggressive jab at me, but I could be looking at it all wrong.
Sorry, I thought this was going to be short. Am I the asshole for saying no to the move, and no often when they want to hang out? I'm open to all criticism, because I could totally be wrong about this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nZrj4NhDdNOAEaJ6tgEILwc0vYJfr1wk
|
awivbg
|
{
"description": "beaking up with girl after having sex for the first time",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA: For beaking up with girl after having sex for the first time ?
|
So, I met this girl wich is a friend of my old classmate at a party, the day after I add her on instagram, we talk and joke a bit and decide to hang out for a beer the next week. Everything's fine we talk a lot about ourself and the date is going fine. I ask hee if she wants to come over my place, she come and at the end she stay for the night.
We keep seeing each other but after a little time i realize she's reeeeeeally more in to this "relationship" than me.
I had explained to her that I'm not looking for nothing serious, and she told me that she would "adapt" to the situation waiting for me to change my mind.
I preferred to breake up at the beginning because I dont like to be in such a parallel way in a relation.
I got blamed a lot by my friends who told me that I used her for sex and made her feel unworthy of my time.
AITA?
Sorry for bad english.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
KhpoiogsaeT5tYHYfJwhwWDNsTZzAud4
|
an3skl
|
{
"description": "getting into a \"polyamorous\" relationship with two monogamous men",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting into a “polyamorous” relationship with two monogamous men
|
Long story short: I (20 at the time) started seeing two guys (27 and 23). After getting to know them, but not wanting to get into another exclusive relationship with anyone after the disaster that was my previous relationship, I made it clear I had zero intentions of getting into another exclusive relationship. Through this journey I also begin to identify with a polyamorous mindset. And that a lot of the ideas I previously had about relationships already closely align with those of polyamory.
I also let them know that there’s another guy in my life early on into both of my relationships. They both were very understanding at the beginning, the 27 year old understand how young I was and that I just wanted to enjoy life and said he wouldn’t try and pressure me into something I didn’t want. The 23 year old also saying something along those lines and that he was happy with the way we were.
After 6 months of the happiness, love, and mutual respect that I received from both of them, the 27 y/o starts to change. He meets a new girl that he’s thinking he wants to start dating. Instead of breaking things off with me he keeps hanging out with me. But reduces me essentially to a side hoe status but still claims he hasn’t changed and still wants me in his life, and that I’m the one that has started asking for more attention just because he has another girl in his life. The amount I see him was reduced to once a week because he blocks out weekends for her, and even when he was over he would be texting her the whole time. He also starts double booking on me and her so opts to cancel on me. He even starts telling me stories of when they have sex.
I get upset at him for not respecting me or my feelings he essentially says that I deserve it for the months of pain I put him through because I was also with another guy. That being said though the 6 months I treated both of them with the utmost respect, was transparent with them, and gave them as much of my love as I could. I split my time and my effort equally as to not make the other feel like he was being disregarded. At this time we break up, and I go through what feels like the worst heartbreak of my life. I can’t help but think this is all my fault when I feel like all I’ve done is love both of them to the best of my ability. They knew what they were getting into and they still chose to stay. Both of them at the end also admit that they were secretly hoping I would change my mind and date them exclusively. Which isn’t fair to hold against some for staying true to their values.
There’s a lot that hasn’t been mentioned in this post that I feel is relevant, but I didn’t want to make the post too long.
AITA for getting in a relationship with these two men even though they were looking for exclusive relationships but agreed that my arrangement was ok? Do I deserve to get my heartbroken for trying to love both of them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
6Yx0kR9OPNEPAQCRvvABNTJ8K13HyB1S
|
aqyplv
|
{
"description": "experimenting with Drugs and Alcohol after a breakup",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For experimenting with Drugs and Alcohol after a breakup?
|
Throwaway account FYI.
I think I should give some of the story about my relationship prior to this event. I am 17M and she is 18F
I was driving my sister home from her Boyfriend's house and was in the area of her home. She texted me and asked if she could call me to talk, and I said that I was near her and had time to kill so I'd just come to her. We had been in a relationship for about a year and a half at this point. When I arrived she told me that she needed a break to be alone and figure out herself (she hadn't been single for more than 6 months since she turned 14.) I said I understood, and we both said that we loved each other and I left her house and went home. Every time I picked up my phone I'd be sad because I didn't have a text from her or a call or anything from her.
Fast forward a week or so of tears and heartbreak, my parents are out of town for the weekend. My Older brother is old enough to buy alcohol so I asked him to get me some, and I have a friend who deals the devil's lettuce so I picked up a joint to try it. At this point, I've still really upset over her and devastated, and I decided that I wanted to try some things and just think about our relationship and see if I can wrap my head around it all.
At 2pm, I smoke the joint and was high and thinking for a good 6+ hours (I haven't smoke in a long time so I had a really low tolerance). We had been talking on and off the past few days before hand so I texted her to let her know that I was experimenting so someone knew (in case I did something stupid and died or something). She just replied with "Okay" and we had a casual conversation and that was it. I had like 3 beers, played some games with friends and went to bed at like 1 am or something.
The next day, I decided it was time to try to drink some more beer and think some more to again, see if I can wrap my head around it. It was after my 4th or 5th beer (tall boys, 5.9% alc/v) that I was starting to get drunk and she texted me. I again, let her know that I was drinking for the same reason I did when I smoked this time instead of "Ok" I receive "Be kind to your body" which I thought nothing of it. We talked casually again and I continued drinking till my words got a little hard to type. At that point, she said she wasn't comfortable talking to me while I was drunk, and to text her in the morning. I said "Ok" and went to bed. I forgot to text her the next morning cause I was drunk.
A few days later, I get a text that says "Are you alive?" to which I replied "Yeah, why?". She then went on a little rant about how I had never wanted to experiment with drugs or alcohol while we were dating and it was not like me to want to now (despite me saying I wanted to a couple of times). I tried to explain that it was really not her fault and that I just wanted to think while not being hindered my Anxiety issues (Clinically diagnosed Anxiety, Depression and self destructive behavior). She didn't understand this fully and was still pissed at me.
At the end of the day, this experiment helped me figure out the issues that caused this all, and what flaws I had as well as seeing her flaws more or less unhindered by love. We are talking more now, and I think this event has helped her realize some stuff about herself (the fact that in the relationship, it was mostly about her. She rarely listened to what I wanted, or felt and she finally saw that.)
She is still upset about this and I'm not sure if it was wrong of me to do this. I left out a bunch of other personal stuff to limit how much this can be identified to me. So AITA reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
8gzSCuMI8nX1NF7XiImMP6W7qHqzyr6n
|
b1rgwm
|
{
"description": "complaining about the my apprenticeships",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA when I complain about the my apprenticeships?
|
in my company We were recently on a business trip after four hours drive we had a stop in between, I tore a stupid joke and he was massively aggressive and threatened me with violence, he has often become conspicuous and many have complained about him. every private solution attempt he blocked and threatened me with "if you are not quiet now you have a bad problem" my other colleague also understood it as a threat of violence and would testify. Would I be the asshole if I addressed this incident at my cheff Office?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b49kht
|
{
"description": "not wanting a wedding",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting a wedding?
|
5 1/2 years ago I moved by myself across the country. My whole family is still back in my home state. I come from a big family, lots of cousins and we were all very close growing up. Since then things have changed. We all still love each other, but my visits home are short and few.
Six months ago I got married at a courthouse. I love my husband very much and it was a quick engagement and I guess you could use the word "eloped"
My mother was understandably shocked and a little upset when I first told her. We're very close and I usually tell her everything.
She now wants this summer to throw us a wedding celebration with my whole family when we come visit. She wants a band and to have it catered, and my whole family there, the whole deal. I do not want that at all. My family has very traditional expensive weddings. While I respect that and have enjoyed every one that I've attended and been in, that is not my style at all. I'm not one of those ppl that wanted a big party, I just wanted to marry my husband because I love him. I dont need a party to prove that.
My mother really wants this and tbh, the whole thing would make me super uncomfortable. I dont know these extended family members any more and I'm sure they couldn't care less weather I'm married or not. Like I said, my visits are short and not often and I would prefer to spend my time with the people I love and not partying with people i dont know any more. I'd rather hang out with my parents and brother and grandparents.
My husband is indifferent, he said he'd be happy either way.
This whole party is for my mom, and shes told me that. If she wants a party just throw a BBQ or something. I should also point out that I am her only daughter. My brother is planning on having a traditional wedding though, so it's not like she'll miss out on both her children's wedding.
I'm in need of some outside perspective, reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
JjUSdNd6nV4YlFHSftTiOdwqtBQpKKn9
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9x73f6
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{
"description": "not returning an attorney's call",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't return an attorney's call?
|
All right, I'll set the scene a bit. The TL;DR at the bottom will explain the whole thing like you were a coworker, otherwise enjoy the rare embellishment of my very ordinary life as an introverted nerd; this all happened in like 15 minutes..
​
It's a cold, wet morning in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. It's an October morning like any October morning. I parked my fuel efficient SUV at 6:55am at the trolley (subway/train) stop. I take the 7:20am trolley although I am there in time to take the 7:10am trolley, it gives me time to talk to the guy who takes my money, he's a cool dude, names Bob, has a dog named Cocoa. I'm chain smoking Pall Mall red's, the usual. Downing my first of two pre-8:00am energy drinks.
​
The chilled air I am breathing out creates a white acrobatic cloud that mixes with noxious clouds of tobacco fumes. Livin' the dream....but what's this? A shriek over yonder? The energy drink kicks in and my temporary Wolverine senses detect a senior citizen under arrest! Immediately I bound over to assist. I throw my cigarette aside and after a hop, a skip, and then a jump I arrive at the baby boomers side.
​
I assess the situation with the tenacity of Sherlock Holmes.
There's an old lady. She's on the ground. Her nose is bleeding. There's a knocked down side.
Think brain, think! What has happened to the person that time forgot, this poor soul! And then I muster the courage to my first thoughts. I say "How's it going?"
This titan of times past looks up, fresh blood streaming down from her nose and with the propensity of a New Yorker and the grace of a Pittsburgher she softly mutters, "I tripped over that fucking post like a jagoff."
​
I look over to analyse this fallen post. It says "handicapped only". She might be...now, I thought to myself. I look dejectedly down. I wondered distantly if Pittsburgh supported human euthanasia. But alas those questions would have to wait; the real help has arrived.
​
Bob, everyone's favorite trolley dude, comes running over with some paper towels. He offers them to this fallen soldier of American labor. Never experiencing something like this Bob runs back to call his boss to let them know what happened and then call an ambulance.
​
I came to find out this elder woman's name was Brenda, a sixty four year old accounting assistant at a bank. She asks me to call her husband, she doesn't have a cell phone. I take out my phone, I have unlimited minutes, this is my moment to shine.
​
She tells me the number and says Richard will pick up. I don't know about this. Someone with the name of Richard could go anyone. He could be a really cool dude with a mustache or he could be a prick with a mustache. At the moment I hear a voice on the other end, it was him.
​
It was Richard.
​
"Hello, this is Richard." Jack pot. We've found him.
​
"Morning Richard, my name's Redditthroaway553. I have your wife...here with me." Why did you stutter? He think's you've kidnapped Brenda. Stop fucking up. "She fell at the trolley and her nose is bleeding. She's okay and her with me."
"Oh no, is she okay?" I breathe a sigh of relief. He turned out to be Richard, the cool dude with the mustache. My superhero energy drink senses kick back in the gear, I hear sirens. The underpaid hero's are on their way! But Richard still needs a status update.
​
"I think so, she wants to talk to you. There is an ambulance coming, I can hear them now. One second." I hand the phone to Brenda her bloody fingerprints leaving a temporary impression on my phone, but a permanent one in my heart. I stay by Brenda's side until the ambulance arrives.
​
She's safe, for now. The EMT's clean my phone off for me and I make my way back to the trolley. I look at Bob with the stare of a boy who has, no a MAN who has done a good service to his community. Bob stares right back at me, as he fills out his paperwork. "Y'ain't gotta pay today Paul. 'preciate your help." I nod and walk up the stairs to the platform. My work here was done.
​
A few days later a man with a cool mustache named Richard called me and left a voicemail. He thanked me for helping his wife and wanted to talk to me if he could. I didn't return his call, I don't need a reward Richard, I'm just glad Brenda's okay.
​
That was last year. Today I got a text from a Susan, an attorney. Apparently Brenda sued the transit authority people for leaving a busted handicapped sign lay on the ground in the dark. She won, but they haven't paid. The attorney wants to know if I would answer some questions. I really don't want to. Not for any other reason than I don't really care about the situation. Would I be the asshole if I didn't return the call?
​
TL;DR - I saw an old lady fall and get hurt and she sued the public works people. They didn't pay and her attorney wants me to answer questions a year later. Would I be the asshole if I didn't call her back?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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aswf70
|
{
"description": "destroying my group of really close friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for destroying my group of really close friends?
|
Please bare with me, this is a very long story.
So, for the sake of keeping things less confusing, there are 4 people involved in this, these are their fake names I will be using for this post.
- Myself, and I will be writing in the first person.
- Arthur, a friend I met my first year of college.
- Brandon, a friend who I met at the same time as Arthur and ended up being my roommate.
- Xylophone, a person who eventually moved in with us.
Now, for the story leading up to my Blowup.
- 1.) Arthur and Brandon and Myself met our freshman year of college, and spent pretty much all of our time as a group. We were definitely “best friends”.
- 2.) We lived together for 2 years, and at the start of that 3rd year the random roommate dropped out of college.
And this is when XYLOPHONE enters.
- 1.) XYLOPHONE takes the random guy’s spot at our apartment. ALL 4 of us decide to sign up for a vacation, a week long cruise ship, at the end of our 3rd year, which is when shit went bad.
- 3.) On top of this, our relationship was beginning to become strained as XYLOPHONE and I began to get in constant fights over meaningless things like chores.
-4.) THE BIG PROBLEM arose when Arthur and I drunkenly had sex one night, where he asked me to penetrate him. (I’m gay, he’s ostensibly straight, we had sex a few months before the cruise.) This was consensual start to finish.
- 5.) Arthur begins to feel extremely awkward from then on, refusing to be in the same room with me or even talking to me.
Now, we finally get to the vacation. TLDR - Everybody spends time with Arthur or a hookup, and I’m left alone for most of the cruise. The vacation ends, and it’s my job to drive everyone back to our college. It’s about an 8 hour drive.
On the drive there, I’m silent and visibly pissed off , and about hour 2 into the drive someone makes a rude comment, I proceed to start yelling. Let me be clear, I never mentioned the sexual encounter Arthur and I had, but lots of cruel shit was said. Arthur screamed at me and we were all silent after.
One Friday morning, I get a call from our apartment’s leasing office (we had moved off campus when XYLOPHONE joined us) and apparently Xylophone and Brandon were both attempting to break our shared lease. They refused to pay any more rent and were moving out THAT DAY. My family hires an attorney, and the two of them move out but are forced by Small Claims court to pay their shares of the rent even if they aren’t living there.
I spent the year living alone in that apartment, and to this day I have not spoken to any of the three. Brandon dropped out of college for unrelated reasons, and moved away anyways.
AITA for taking out my anger on them and ruining our friend group? I keep dwelling on this every now and then and it sucks. I’d really love an outside opinion.
**TL;DR** - We are all friends in college, we all start smoking weed an unhealthy amount, I have sex with one of those friends while fucked up, we all fight.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aicy0y
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{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my friend?
|
I have a friend who I have been friends with since late elementary school who we'll call A. A was a part of a larger friend group who I hung out with almost every day, but once middle school rolled around, our group was put in jeopardy. I was a year older than the others, including A, so it was pretty hard to keep regular contact while going to different schools, as much as we tried. Add on some drama between the others (which I didn't get any details of), and the group was dissolved.
Now we're in high school. I'm a sophomore, they're freshmen. We keep to ourselves for the most part, but A and I have kept up to date with each other. He invites me to his house every couple of months.
But the thing is, I don't want to hang out anymore. It's not because he's younger than me. It's not that I think he's not "cool". It's just that we've drifted apart. Whenever I go to hang out with him, it feels like I just end up entertaining him rather than having fun myself. It feels like we have nothing to talk about, and whenever we do talk, it's like we're shooting things past each other, giving plain responses, like "Oh, okay, cool." Our conversations get more and more awkward each time we have them. Whenever he invites anyone else along with me, I find myself talking to them more.
He's asked me to help him start a YouTube channel. I've told him I can't do because I have a l have a lot of work to do and I don't have time for it, which to be fair is not wrong, but it's definitely not the only reason.
He calls me sometimes to invite me places. These past few times, I've let it ring out. I know that's an asshole move, but I just don't know what to tell him anymore.
I've gone to his birthday parties for the past few years. I'm not the only one who comes, he has friends that share his interests a lot more than I do. I will continue to go to them, because I still care about him and I want to support him, but it gets harder to get him a gift with each passing year.
So that's pretty much it. Am I the asshole? What can I do if I am?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
ZN4dqQSSsBd4iGM9JIJ9RnPrb9ASBtEo
|
ang83e
|
{
"description": "choosing to pursue my happiness",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for choosing to pursue my happiness?
|
So I met this girl from my class, let’s call her girl A ,and I instantly liked her a lot and had a huge crush on her. I would ask her out to drink coffee before class, and I just felt like she was comfortable with me. But I doubted that I had a chance with her for some unknown reason. Then comes this other girl, girl B, who clearly shows interest in me. She didn’t mind to show her affections publicly, and would straight up tell me she liked me. I, on the other hand was still caught up thinking about the first girl, and how it hurt that my feelings were “possibly” not going to be reciprocated. And so, I gave this second girl a shot. I tried reciprocating. I tried dating her. We never got to a point where we were officially dating, but we knew what was up. But I got disturbed by the fact that we had fights almost every conversation we have, and we weren’t even officially dating. I was getting tired. Fast forward a couple of months, and I was able to be alone with girl A. I jokingly asked her if she liked me, since I thought “Yeah well, fuck it. I’ll just tell her. She’d probably say no, and I’ll go on with my life.” Well, I was wrong. She said yes. And after that, my feelings for her came back. I hated myself for not telling her in the first place, and relied on girl B because I felt unwanted. And so, I broke it off with girl B and I have started to pursue girl A.
AITA?
TLDR: I liked someone in the first place, and when she didn’t seem to reciprocate, I dated someone who showed interest, but the relationship was toxic. After learning that the first girl actually liked me, I broke off with the second girl to pursue the first.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
9ut3d0
|
{
"description": "getting upset that my ex went back to her old fwb after we broke up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting upset that my ex went back to her old fwb after we broke up
|
It just doesn’t sit well with me that she went back to her old fwb. she was doing this with him right up until we met.
AITA for feeling like she was doing things with him during our relationship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
aqch7i
|
{
"description": "saying don't buy me a valentine's day present",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying don’t buy me a valentine’s day present?
|
Today is Valentine’s Day already here in Australia. My husband wants to go out today and buy me something. I said I don’t want anything because we’re really short on money and have a lot of expenses coming up this year. I really don’t want anything, I’m not being passive aggressive and expect him to buy something anyway. I haven’t bought him anything as well so it wouldn’t be fair for me to get something.
Somehow this translates into me being a miserable person who hates everything.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
rIlMiBtoUyc5E93lHzaywMjGdJdF0gIK
|
au45vt
|
{
"description": "pushing my friends away just because I feel like I worth nothing",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for pushing my friends away just because I feel like I worth nothing?
|
I keep pushing some friends away, leaving our chat group almost everytime just because I'm lonely, needy and feel like worth nothing in this life.
I think that they don't really want to spend time with me and they're not gonna be losing anything if I just vanish.
I know if they like me it's their choice to hang out with me but I've been feeling down lately so much that I don't worth the trouble...
Also, I gotta be the worst person ever because if I have no friends, I'll just feel down cuz I have no friends...
Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of friends, I'm a fucked up person who is never happy and have no idea how to be happy, only how to be miserable
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
v5HWMkqbqRzBRm8LVVXRckeYmyJdSOI1
|
ar6ndx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go somewhere with my family when my girlfriends just come over after not seeing her for 1 and a half months",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go somewhere with my family when my girlfriends just come over after not seeing her for 1 and a half months?
|
My dad just asked me to go somewhere 40 minutes away to have dinner and I don’t want to go because my gf has to leave tomorrow and I’d like to spend time with just her AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
9nahk0CsvM6s65i5Jz1skymRRPJHrX8a
|
as30z3
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to one of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to one of my friends?
|
I've known this friend for about two years now, and for a while, it was nice. Fluid conversation, sharing funny jokes, the standard fare. Ever since they moved out to college, they've just changed. Conversations turn into debates, jokes turn into snipes at each other, it sucks. It goes back and forth.
Here's where it goes from ESH to where I might be the asshole. I know they're life has taken a dive. They don't live by their family, all of his other friends have lives that don't allow them to hang out, and they don't have a positive self image. I was originally more full of life and fun to be around. Now, with the problems that came about that I talked about, I just don't wanna spend my free time with them. I don't even want them to text me. It just brings me down, and I don't know how to fix them/their problems.
AITA for wanting to cut this friendship off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
Q3T2YYUfw984VSNKOCc234NFMV4j95r7
|
a7f1q1
|
{
"description": "announcing a move without telling certain people personally",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for announcing a move without telling certain people personally?
|
I'm moving away from a city that I hate. My two 'best friends' hadn't made an effort to see me or contact me in months. I understand the winter months are hard, and I have been going through some heavy shit that may be difficult for others to wrap their heads around and support me through. I don't hold it against anyone that they couldn't be around me or even really talk to me. But. I decided to move back home knowing I will get the support I need. I announced on Facebook to avoid both being a bother and putting any personal stress on people and to also avoid missing someone important in telling them directly. Well these two friends did not take it well. I have been 'friend dumped' by one of them in a very polite way which is fine, it was clear that she did not necessarily want a friendship with me so I saw it coming. The other has just decided to completely cut me out. Before if I sent her a message here or there to check in she would respond, but now she has put me on 'mute' and ignored me for a week. This friend has done this many times in the past, actually anytime I make a decision that she is not pleased with (even if it doesn't affect her in ANY way) I don't hear from her for weeks and then one day she'll just pick back up and talk to me like nothing happened. I'm pretty frustrated with this friend but I also understand how important it is to set boundaries with people and believe this is her way of setting them. AITA Reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
CfnXZuBNFSJ6PNKrQgOqYpnMeydA3sI9
|
a5vlxb
|
{
"description": "bothering someone I want to buy clothed off of",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For bothering someone I want to buy clothed off of?
|
Read before basing it off the title, but I use Depop as a source of clothing to buy.
Well, I came across this goregous Levi strauss Windbreaker with faux fur inside. Only 33£+ shipping. I message him because he has to give me a shipping price and I messaged him on Tuesday. Get back to me around 4 hours later and says he will get back to me about it, but ask for my whereabouts. I give him my address, yadda yadda, and he goes silent again. Ended up being that way until Wednesday. Saying he can get it today. Well He is in Cornwall UK, so its already Thursday for him in the evening and I haven't heard a word for him.
Typically, I would just buy another item, but I still want to have enough to buy another sweater (hot pink champion sweater. Its cold, sweater season).
So I don't want to buy something else and not have enough for the Levi piece.
I texted him quite a bit just asking and seeing if he can get me the price. And that I am really interested.
AITA for continously contacting him?
Keep in mind too, these items are discounted already so the other items I am interested in aren't a supply. Usually a one time buy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
FweUqnB62mbPYPMZh3k3Mo1zjdvzlxBU
|
ayxidc
|
{
"description": "telling off my friend's future roommates",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling off my friend’s future roommates.
|
So my friend and I are currently rooming together in a apartment. However I have to move in a few months so my roommate decided to room two of our other mutual friends in the next few months. I was cool with this at the time as it really didn’t affect them. However, over the last few weeks our friend’s have been at our place constantly, and all they talk about is the new apartment and how great it’s going to be. Furthermore, they have spouting other stupid shit in front of me as well as generally not respecting the place. After a while, I snapped at them regarding their general lack of consideration and disrespect and now they’ve been acting like I’m the asshole. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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JlNwVu2xPvJpoq1ELKxsUWwR1kMPKgoS
|
aondoz
|
{
"description": "getting a literal boulder thrown at me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting a literal boulder thrown at me?
|
Okay so this happent 7 years ago but for the simple fact that this was my first time gettung my head crushed and cracked my a giant rock I still remenber.I was with a friend at the time ( 4 th grade) and I was alone with friend and she was telling me lots of things and down the road we started arguing for some stupid reason and I ended up saying to her :" You re a bad friend!", I started walking away sad and suddenly I hear a loud grunt similar to one of a bodybuilder lifting his heaviesy weight ever or a gorilla getting super mad, I look back amd she literally was holding a 60-70 centimeter large rock which she proceded to smash my head with. For some odd reason I didn t feel pain but my classmates and teacher told me I had a hole in my head. I felt bad for saying that she was a bad friend and appologised and she also appologised and we remain best friends even if she tryed to literally murder me. In the end she didn t get any sort of punishment or scolding, as a matter of fact the teacher at the time actually said that it was my fault cuz I shouldn t have said that. AITA for aaying that she was a bad friend or was it minimally deserved (head smash)??
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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8WzWutpRexQ9PDgK9BbWV6zJ0BdefgUa
|
as4l72
|
{
"description": "saying things impulsively",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying things impulsively?
|
I will admit sometimes I can be an ass. But I do try to mean well. anyway:
I started my anthropology course this semester and made a pretty good and uplifting friend (She was awesome). However she decided to stop being friends with me because I called her crazy (We were talking about our respective religions and she said I'm looking at her like she's crazy. I then kinda agreed with "Just a little but so am I). Then today I said she looked 'dead'. Granted it was an ass move saying that and not mentioning her new haircut (Which was nice). I meant she looked dead tired. She walked sluggishly to the desk and had big dark bags under her eyes. The way it slipped out was my fault but I didn't mean it maliciously.
​
TLDR: I let my impulsivity get the better of me and say some mean things. But I meant one as a Joke and the other more as a worry.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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pPbJ2UiGdXgsTkLh6M641c0RU4f4fCaz
|
a5tfbf
|
{
"description": "not wanting to call my grandson after the sleezy hotel he was conceived in",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
Aita for not wanting to call my grandson after the sleezy hotel he was conceived in
|
After insisting that we do this, it is just a nickname and not his given name, my Dil sends scathing text to aunt and uncle (husband's siblings) that they only want to raise kind respectful kids. They can no longer refer to each other as gross aunt and mean uncle. They both have kids too. Aita for thinking the disrepsect started with her nicknaming him after a sleezy motel??
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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|
a9wajp
|
{
"description": "lying to a friend about not being able to go with him to a place just to go with another friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I lied to a friend about not being able to go with him to a place just to go with another friend?
|
So, one of my friends went on a trip with me to Algarrobo (I live in Chile, and this is like going from Orlando to West Palm Beach) in July for 2 weeks and we had a pretty good time. A few weeks ago we were talking about making another trip to this place for the good old times, and I agreed, but one of my friends (that is actually my best friend and I’ve been knowing him since babies) quit his job, and that means he’s now free to go anywhere and he hasn’t gone on a trip with me since 2015 if I recall correctly, and I would love spending time with him and do a lot of stuff, but I promised my other friend to go with me already, and my deadline is the 6th of January. I’m not the kind of guy that can go and tell people (specially close friends) and tell them that I no longer want to do something with them because I want to do it with someone else. So WIBTA if I choose to go with another person and break the promise to him, or should I straight lie to him and say that I won’t be able to go to the beach because I had complications and try to stay as lay-low as possible?
#tl;dr: I promised one of my friends that already went on a trip with me not long ago to go again, but best friend wanted to go for a long time so I want to go with best friend and i want to lie to other friend because i don’t know how to tell him
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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SclZKsS2cJtfzxYAMysScpvbiPk5eC9W
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b4r66h
| null |
AITA - For this argument with my partner
|
Was texting my partner earlier and the conversation turned into religion. I gave my personal thoughts that I am (as she knows) non-religious like her.
I then talk about the various battles and attacks and terrorism occurring today against numerous religions, alongside this I also mention how it obviously doesn't affect me, but I feel-strongly for them and want it all to end. yada yada yada.
To which she relies "*People always fight and always die for this, the target just changes for a while, I couldn't care less about it as long as it doesn't directly affect me"* To which I replied "Seriously? How self-centered can you be". She responded shortly after with a "ok I'm going to go back and watch my show now byeee"
She says I'm the one who should apologise and the one who is an asshole but I seriously don't understand it this time because I genuinely don't see how I'm in any wrong here.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
yJExr7PmQu5a1s7L6bXZaD0O8d517NGf
|
a26a4q
|
{
"description": "blocking a mentally disabled girl from contacting me",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for blocking a mentally disabled girl from contacting me?
|
We attended the same highschool around 4 years ago, we were in chorus together. She's a wonderful person, and she would text me a "hello" every day for a few weeks after I graduated and I would respond with short conversation, and then she'd stop texting me for the better part of a year, and repeat the "hello" again every day for a few weeks.
She recently started messaging me again after about 10 months of silence, and I was in class so I did not respond. So she called me, which I let go to voicemail. I didn't respond after class either because of some stuff I had to get done and not thinking to reply.
She called me every morning around 7 am for a few days straight, and I blocked her after a few days because I'm decently busy and when I do reply she does not converse much. Also, being woken up at 7am a few days straight put me in a sour mood toward the calls.
I also haven't seen her in person since I graduated. AITA for blocking her now?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
qKfuxvBYGjzjOJfWy7EoOzH8K1a9A01A
|
b075tx
|
{
"description": "being jealous of one my best friends new friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being jealous of one my best friends new friend.
|
Ok so this is my first post here so this may seem a bit odd but recently my best friend ive know for the last 10 years since Year 4 in school has been talking to another friend of hers to points where it feels like im not really needed. Most things i say recently are just laughed off and are ignored for stuff the new friend is doing. No matter how much i try to help every thing i do i seem to be in their shadow which leads to me now being afraid of being replaced but i feel like i should be happy my friend is branching out. Sorry if this seems like a jumbled mess im not the best at explaining myself.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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P33PLrrbIf3eXjtTHTYyWPR2WxboplFN
|
arrkez
|
{
"description": "getting upset about GF smoking in bedroom and needing the tv on to fall asleep? -long Post",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset about GF smoking in bedroom and needing the tv on to fall asleep? -Long Post-
|
*Sorry for an formatting issues, I’m on mobile!
A little backstory. When we first started dating, I (27M) would visit her (29F) at her apartment and never commented on anything because it was her place and I felt as if she is entitled to do whatever she wants in her place. After coming over more frequently and spending more time there, spending the night and such, I did ask if she would mind smoking (cigarettes) next to the window and not on the bed because the smell of cigarettes would stick to my clothes and I am not a cigarette smoker. I thought this was fair and she seemed more than fine with it and actually said she felt bad. So time goes on and eventually it goes from her smoking at the window, to the end of the bed (near the window), to back to smoking in the bed again. I feel conflicted because I don’t live here, I’m in her domain, and I feel like I’m trying to control what she does in her place and I don’t like being that person. (Oh and she smokes roughly 3/4 of a pack a day.) So I just started leaving whatever I was wearing the next day outside the room, and it was working for me.
Around the same time I also mentioned that I never had a tv in my room growing up and I felt like she has it on too much. She will leave the tv on all day and night (in the bedroom) and I asked if on every other night or so, can we sleep with the tv off, because it’s a big transition for me and interrupting my sleep and leaves me feeling like I didn’t sleep well. She said she needs background noise to be able to fall asleep, and I said I respect that, and I said (as a way to compromise) I have a white noise app on my phone, maybe you can look through that and find something you like and we can sleep to that. We tried it that night but it didn’t work for her. So we agreed to every other night we will rotate, not ideal, but I still wasn’t sleeping over every night so I was fine with it.
Fast forward to me staying over pretty consistently, I tell her, I feel like initially you agreed to do these things for me, but now we are back where we started where you’re constantly smoking on the bed, and always leave the tv on. And again she apologized and said I was right, but she was just so used to living this way, that sometimes she forgets how much it bothers me. Which I completely understand, if you’ve lived this way for so long, changing is hard and can’t happen overnight and I’m trying to be understanding and considerate. But at the same time I feel like I’m seeing a little initial effort, but then she just reverts straight back to how she was before. And now there are times if I say something she’ll get visibly annoyed because I know she just wants to smoke her cigarettes in peace in the comfort of her room.
So now I am officially moved in and am on the lease, and I told her, I really would appreciate if you could start smoking outside because of how strong the smell is and now I have all my stuff in the room. And she agreed half heartedly but she immediately made a comment saying, ugh I just wish we didn’t live on the third floor. Which I get it, it would be annoying to have to go up and down several times a day, especially if you’re so used to just smoking in your room. But I just think it’s inconsiderate constantly smoking next to a non smoker. And to be fair I do smoke weed, maybe like 2-5 times a month, not very often, but something casual, and she smokes weed and cigarettes everyday religiously. So maybe I am being hypocritical because when and if I do smoke I’ll smoke weed in the room with her, but it’ll honestly be like 3 pulls because it’s so infrequent I don’t need much.
But I just feel like she’s getting annoyed with me and I know she thinks I’m nagging her about it, and to be honest I think she thinks I’m an asshole for it. I was honest and upfront about how I felt, but now I feel like it’s causing tension between us. I also think it’s partly because she wants to stop these bad habits and she’s getting mad at herself for being addicted to it.
Am I being an asshole? Am I being too controlling? Am I trying to change too much and should I just accept that this is the person she is? Or should I try and compromise more and find another alternative?
Thanks for reading and be well everyone!
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b2daf1
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{
"description": "lying to wife about going to lunch with former boss and wanting to go back to that job",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for lying to wife about going to lunch with former boss and wanting to go back to that job?
|
First AITA post. I left my job of about 4 years back in February for a new gig. After about a month, I’ve decided that the new job is not a good fit for me and met me with my former boss to boomerang back. They want me back and I want to go back.
My wife told me that I was a fool for doing that and not to go to lunch. I lied and said I wouldn’t, yet did anyway, just to not have to argue with her. She thinks it was a huge transgression and has thrown around divorce. She left to go to a hotel this weekend. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
RwDRGUxN3SLaZrisTXgVdlT0ma4zthLp
|
ardzyu
|
{
"description": "letting my mother bury dead animals in the frozen ground",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for letting my mother bury dead animals in the frozen ground?
|
My mom is an animal hoarder. She lives on 8 acres. Recently an ill stray cat started sleeping in her barn. She took it to the vet and discovered it had cat AIDS or leukemia or something, and it died. The vet wanted another $45 to cremate the thing to avoid letting it's disease infect her other cats. She didn't want to pay for that and asked me if I would come bury it and a peacock that was mauled by probably a raccoon.
I politely told her I am not interested in burying the carcasses in the frozen ground, and I offered to burn them. She declined and said she would take care of it. She will stubbornly dig a hole for them, I have no doubt.
My mom constantly has a variety of physical ailments and should not do that kind of labor.
I am a fit 30 y.o. male who could manage to move a cubic yard of frozen earth. I have also been forced to bury every other animal that ever died on those 8 acres, from still-born ducklings to skunks I shot for killing chickens. Easily over 100 animals over the years. I am sick of interring every wretched creature to the ground when a Mongolian sky burial would suffice.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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EFRikHU6SrJ5jDhLWETVs0UP8PzLsFEA
|
ac9rtn
|
{
"description": "choosing to confront and report hr person at job where I interviewed today for making offensive statement",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for choosing to confront and report HR person at job where I interviewed today for making offensive statement?
|
I say interviewed for a job but it was a standard meet and greet and fill out papers for substitute teaching.
I already knew subbing for this district wasn’t going to be something I could depend on to pay my bills when they described that vacancies for the day would be given first right of refusal to retired teachers, second would be subs that teachers had upvoted, and those of us who were new would be last.
(The district where I have always subbed populates all vacancies on a website first come first served.)
But I went through the motions anyway and got fingerprinted and the whole nine yards.
The HR person was having trouble sending forms to me so I called back and she dropped this bomb on me:
“You have a hit on your background check. Is there something you’re not telling us?”
I just finished my student teaching for my education master’s and my license for the state is pending. I was floored. I’ve never even had so much as a traffic ticket! What did she mean, “a hit”?
She went on...not just mine, but three other people, were delayed. And it “usually” means there is some kind of hit. It happens all the time.
According to my mother I should have just said thank you very much and hung up. But I didn’t. I confronted her and said it was a very different matter for a background check (three of them) to be taking longer to process for some reason than to outright make an unwarranted statement to someone that they “had a hit” and probe them to see if they had somehow held back some kind of criminal mischief.
I then reported this to her supervisor who defended her and said once they had a teaching prospective hire who had a background check come back with all kinds of criminal activity, did I maybe just not have a background check with my university?
Seriously. I ended the discussion there.
My mother thinks I’m the asshole for engaging with them and I won’t get the job now. I already decided I didn’t want the job bc I can’t stake my bills on being on the third tier of randomly being called in. I already have employment with another district anyway.
AITA for confronting them?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Xvstnz4FaNPVI0bzigc5hBE8l3TumK3e
|
a79gmf
|
{
"description": "being annoyed by by GF's timeline shift",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed by by GF's timeline shift
|
Hi,
1st post here. Tl;dr at the end.
My (31/M) girlfriend (32/F) got a new cat from the shelter last Friday having had hers put down about 3mths ago and losing her dog about 3wks ago.
She makes a habit of picking the LEAST desirable, worst tempered pets available as part of a personal crusade to help the "less fortunate" (Noble enough intentions, but ultimately to the demise of others since they can't ALL be saved, regardless).
Anyway, I work nights pretty often in my line of work and it has been a busy time of year for us both so we hadn't seen eachother since for almost a week which is a long time for us.
She came over last night and we had a good, pretty normal night.
While she was over, she asked what time I was working tomorrow (from time of posting) because she didn't want to stay over last night for the sake of her new cat but somehow her staying over tonight would be completely different.
Not a cat guy, maybe it would have been?
Anyway, today we're messaging throughout the day as usual. Until she went silent for no clear reason. Figured she must have been busy so I finished what I had to do and went to a bar near both her work and my house.
She finishes at 4:30pm (teacher) and I was there at 3:30pm just nursing a couple of quiet ones hoping she'd come too (a common thing for us to do when she finishes, my roster permitting). I sent a couple of messages in between and she eventually replied at 5:52pm saying she was at a local friends place.
"No worries", I thought. I said she was welcome to come over anytime and stay the night if she likes. I have to leave early but she already knows she's welcome to stay as long as she likes.
Anyway, to the crux of my issue, I got a reply at 6:25 saying "I still need to go home and see Baron babe, I'm sorry. I would if I could but I refuse to be a shit fur mum."
I replied with : "Last I heard you were wondering if I was working at all tomorrow with the intention of staying tonight.
That's why I even considered asking.
All good though."
Am I the asshole for thinking that her asking if I was busy tomorrow so she could stay tonight instead of last night (because of a cat), and then backing out of tonight when I said again that was ok to stay over, is a bit shitty?
Tl;dr
GF can't stay over because new cat. Asks if tommorw is ok.
It is.
Reaffirm that with little reply throughout the day (not normal for us).
Get told hours later she MUST go home because new cat.
Don't see the GF at all as intended.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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8STA1Dmiz4ODGfZ1NgwnWV3woSFGZIGd
|
adkxqz
|
{
"description": "limiting conversations with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for limiting conversations with my dad?
|
First post on this sub, on mobile.
For a bit of backstory, my parents are both conservative Christians, and raised me the same way. My dad is infamous for his temper, and he tends to project his frustrations onto my mom and I - though I should also mention that it is never physical.
Over the past couple of years I've started devoting myself to Draconic Wicca, and it came from the realization that there were things in my life that couldn't be explained in any other way. I started my collection from just a few gems and a wand that I liked, and soon I had around $300 worth of items for my practice.
When I moved out of my apartment at the end of May last year, I made sure to have my items set aside in a separate bin so that I could store them in my room, away from my parents. I didn't really have anywhere else to place them at the time, as I started driving for Uber not too long after moving back with them.
My initial surprised came from noticing that my bin seemed a lot lighter when I went to gather my study books, and upon looking inside, I found that the only items remaining in the bin were my crystals, candles, and incense sticks. Everything else was missing.
At first I was mad, but I let it slide for a bit before confronting my parents about it. I found out my dad had thrown them all away, without even asking me first about them or even suggesting a compromise. Just pitched them all because "Jesus wouldn't want those things in the house" and that I was "possessed by demons," meaning that I couldn't tell right from wrong.
Upon finding out, a couple months later, that I had gotten an infinity dragon tattoo on my forearm, he sat me down and went into a tirade that culminated with him telling me point blank that I'm "a Satanist, worshipping the devil," and that I'm "doomed to burn in hell" for turning away from Christianity.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was because I saw Christians like him treat people who didn't "follow God's will" with absolute content and condemnation, that actually started my leaving the Christian faith.
I no longer really talk to him about a lot of my more sensitive issues, and if I need something from him, I'll try to go through my mom, since she knows how to explain things to him.
And don't get me wrong - I love him dearly and appreciate all he's done for me, but AITA for wanting to limit contact with him?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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twHEEdNjyO4QGYFRY0MDyQlE7qpAiPhN
|
azesfr
|
{
"description": "not writing a tribute to be read out at my Grandmother's funeral",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not writing a tribute to be read out at my Grandmother’s funeral?
|
I live on the other side of world to my family. When other grandparents passed away I didn’t attend their funerals. I called family members and did my own thing.
Last week my mother asked me to write something to be read out at my Grandmother’ funeral(this is her mother). I tried but found it really awkward and uncomfortable. After a few hours I gave up and told my mom that I’m sorry but I don’t feel comfortable doing it.
The funeral is tomorrow and yesterday my mother asked me again. “I know you said you don’t want to, but it would mean a lot to me, I’m sure you can think of something...that sort of thing”.
I’m not particularly shy, I’ve spoken at weddings and conferences, I just don’t want to write any for funerals. I never have. I would just prefer to keep my thoughts and emotions private.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
9p6dBxR0Aq05mp3pMIWYCT9GUhVRqYdt
|
ba2ixm
|
{
"description": "making a fake craigslist post",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for making a fake craigslist post?
|
For reference, I have a common name, and my e-mail address is \[firstname\].\[lastname\]@\[domain\].com. The person in this story shares the same first and last name as me
So about a year ago, I got an e-mail congratulating me (by my full name) on my new car purchase. Opened it, and it all looked pretty legit. Thinking it was some kind of ad, rather than just calling the number in the e-mail I googled the dealer where I supposedly bought a car. My heart dropped when I found out it was legit. I called the dealership immediately, and after about 45 minutes on the phone, confirming that I supposedly bought a car, explaining the situation and giving the first digit of the last 4 of my social to make sure it wasn't identity theft (which it wasn't) I let it go and had them delete my e-mail from their database.
Fast forward to a few weeks later, I'm still getting e-mails from random places where someone was using my e-mail to sign up for. These e-mails contain the name, address,school, bank, phone number, etc. of this person. I've had my identity stolen before, so whenever I got an e-mail about something important like a bank I'd have to call the institution to make sure it wasn't my social security number on record. I call the person.
Me: "Hello, is this \[name\] who drives a \[car\] at \[address\]?"
Him: "This is him."
Me: "And I see you go to \[college\] and bank with \[bank\], correct?"
Him: "... Yes? Who am I speaking to?"
Me: "I'm \[name\]. You've used my e-mail to sign up for everything I've listed. I'd really appreciate it if you stopped."
Him: "I just put down a generic e-mail freak, I didn't want the spam. Don't ever call me again you fucking asshole" \*click\*
He seemed pretty shook and angry and understandably so. I mean, if someone called me and had all that information about me I'd be pretty creeped out as well. Figured him realizing exactly how much information he was having sent to a complete stranger would be a wake up call.
Within a few weeks I was getting 10+ spam e-mails a day from all sorts of websites. Most of them were easy to just unsubscribe to, none were alarming, and he didn't continue re-subscribing... But about 4 months ago it started getting sketchy again, and I was getting confirmation e-mails for for items/services adding up to tens of thousands of dollars. I had to check that these were just this guy being lazy again and not an actual threat. Again, it was just this guy... But I was tired of it.
So I got on craigslist. Went over to the free stuff section and posted multiple items (Chairs, desks, a basketball hoop, etc.) all with this guys phone number and address. Put on there to "swing by any time, day or night, just knock loudly" and "If I don't answer, call me" with the excuse "I was in the basement and often had headphones on". The posts weren't up for long, only about a day each before getting flagged and taken down... Haven't got another suspicious/spam e-mail since. Did I go too far?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
UsNN8frPNNbskm83DtzUljdEM435gsje
|
b5yzbi
|
{
"description": "asking a group of girls to be quiet at the library",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking a group of girls to be quiet at the library?
|
This was at the reference section of a university library. These three girls were two seats away probably preparing for a presentation. They weren't even that noisy. But I couldn't not notice their slight whispering once I had heard it. There on, the only thing I could concentrate on was their muted mumbling. I usually don't mind this and would put on my pair of headphones and carry on. Today, I had left them at home. So I asked one girl to keep quiet and she immediately apologized. Then all of a sudden, everyone packed up, said sorry and left. Now I feel quite bad. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
q04BbNV7bSkCGqvHKca9ZDImhbRsPLlp
|
b2r9ml
|
{
"description": "conpletely cutting my annoying friend off when everyone wants the group to stay together",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for conpletely cutting my annoying friend off when everyone wants the group to stay together?
|
Last Friday, my former friend (we’ll call him Ebert) shared that our one female friend made out with a guy to a guy said female friend hates. We told him to get lost, and I assumed this was permanent. I blew up on Ebert (i hadnt really been fond of him for a while, he’s a huge narcissist who changed his whole personality to fit in with the cool kids) and called him a narcissistic loser and things of the such. Fast forward to today, and it turns out everyone just got over it. I didn’t really care about the prior incident, it just pushed me over the edge. I tried my best to ignore him, but he kept trying to irritate me. He told everyone about me blowing up on him. All of my friends are telling me to just get over it and make up. I do this, as he’s moving in a few months anyway and I want to take one for the team, but I still hate him. What should I do
(Sorry if this makes no sense I’m shit at telling stories)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ovPTEFrLvnjl22o3LY40P02fpiIukV4V
|
ajfikj
|
{
"description": "being mad at my girlfriend for telling her friend that I have autism",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my girlfriend for telling her friend that i have autism?
|
I'm on the spectrum, but this is something i've never told anyone outside my family about - not my closest friends, not my co-workers, not even my extended family know. It is something i'm really insecure about but i didn't want to keep anything from my girl so i told her. This was around 4 months ago and last night we got into a fight where it came up that she had told her best friend about my autism, and when I asked her why, she said it wasn't a big deal and that she just needed someone to talk to. I asked her what she meant, and she said that she started thinking about having children in the future and the state of their mental health as she doesn't want autistic children which I can understand. Thing is she talked to him way before we had that talk, so a few things aren't clear to me:
Why did she talk to him about it first? or even at all? This was at least one month before we had the talk, so why the wait? Why didn't she tell me that she had told him? When she wanted to tell her parents, she called me and asked if i'd be fine with it while explaining why she felt like she needed to and I was fine with that. Am I overthinking this or am i in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
n48PMEt935sUkj1uzSbcS2LCLHS5QnrP
|
aozy92
|
{
"description": "being mad at my mom for calling my cousin's child a mistake and leaving his dog with an abusive woman",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my mom for calling my cousin's child a mistake and leaving his dog with an abusive woman?
|
I rarely post on reddit at all, but I think this is the maddest I've ever been in my life and I need to vent.
So, my family is kind of messed up. By that I mean, mental illness and drug/alcohol addiction runs in my family. Recently my cousin was arrested for selling drugs. My cousin is 28, he's incredibly mentally ill, and addicted to some kind of anti-anxiety pill. He dealt to a police officer and was caught. None of my family wants to bail him out, I think this is understandable, he's gotten into trouble on too many occasions and we've decided that jail time could teach him a lesson. Not only that, but being watched over is probably the best thing for him as he is mentally ill and has had suicidal tendencies in the past.
But my mom said some pretty uncalled for things about his daughter. She said that if the daughter was never born my cousin and the rest of the family would be better off, that she was an accident anyways. She said that my cousin was too young to have her when he did and that since he's so ill, he has no right to have children. She SAID that she wished the child was never born.
I understand that the daughter isn't gonna have a great childhood, I get that she put a bit of stress on our family when she was first born (my cousin was 19 or 20 when she was born), but that does not mean her existence is any less valuable. It's not her fault that her father did any of this, she shouldn't be blamed for it. I love that child more than anyone. Even if she was an accident that child was the best fucking thing that ever happened to my cousin. I genuinely believe that the only reason why my cousin hasn't killed himself yet is because of her. I'm literally shaking with rage.
So obviously, when my mom says all this stuff, I get mad. So I say something along the lines of, "Don't talk about Daughter like that, she's not the reason Cousin did any of this. He's an adult, he made his own decisions, now he'll suffer the consequences." She responds with something like, "Oh, you're just a kid. You don't know as much as you think, stop acting all high and mighty. If Cousin was never born he'd be under less stress and probably wouldn't have his addiction." I didn't even know how to respond so I just walked off. She didn't really try to engage me after this, she just called after me and told my I was overreacting and being insensitive towards my cousin. I don't even want to be around her right now.
I feel that she's being so inconsiderate, like, dose she not fathom that my cousin's actions are going to affect the child?? My father was an alcoholic for several years and landed himself in prison for drunk driving with my brother in the car. He was bailed out, but it still had such a great affect on me that I can't look my father the same way to this day. My cousin is not going to be bailed out. How the hell are we supposed to just tell this CHILD her father is in prison and she won't be able to see him for several years, AND IT JUST NOT HAVE AN EFFECT OF HER?! This is a crime against the child more than anything. She'll have to accept that her father is the type of person that they warn you not to talk to in school. That's terrible.
Not only that but my cousin had a dog before he landed himself in prison. After he went it was left with his unstable girlfriend, who in the past has expressed her hate for the dog and even hit it. My family told her to take him to a no-kill shelter since none of us can take him. Which I don't understand. NONE of us trust this woman. She's stolen hundred of dollars from us in the past, and manipulated my cousin into a worse mental state. I'm deathly afraid that this dog is just going to be abandoned somewhere, I wouldn't put it past this god awful woman. I don't understand why none of us can take the dog somewhere instead of that woman. My family literally lives down the road from an animal shelter, are we just to fucking lazy to make sure this living thing won't be left to die or abused because of other people's shitty decisions? When I asked my mom why nothing was being done, she said I was too young to dictate anything, and I shouldn't be mad at our family because obviously we're going through a hard time.
So am I in the wrong for feeling this way? Am I an asshole because I'm unwilling to blame a child for my cousins crappy life choices? Am I overreacting?
The more I think about it I'm not sure if I was pressing my mom too much or expecting too much out of my family, so I'd appreciate some opinions.
I'm sorry if this post is badly written or hard to follow, I'm having a hard time thinking straight.
TL;DR\~ After my cousin is put in jail, my mom blames his child for his addiction and calls her a mistake. I get mad about this and tell her not to speak of the daughter that way, apparently I'm overreacting and being inconsiderate. My family leaves his dog with an unstable/abusive woman and I'm also mad about that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
cbMc4o07hRHBmk9oGmomwofp9eYMU28Q
|
agd09a
|
{
"description": "not liking how he asked",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if I didn't like how he asked?
|
AITA if I don't like the way he asked a question, and I want to tell him why it's rude to invite himself over?
​
I am texting this guy, and he has been over a few times. MY apartment is definitely better, we both agree on that. We are in Russia, so spacing is weird anyway, but basically his room is also the living room. I have my own room. He has told me that sometimes his sister, who he lives with, asks him to leave so that her friends can come over. That's some context.
SO he is out of the country atm and we are texting and he comes back in a few days. Out of nowhere he asked "So can I come over on saturday?". For some reason I really don't like how he asked this. First of all, I am a private person, and rarely let people into my space as it is, generally because it feels intrusive. But to me, it sounded like he was inviting himself over. My mom always said that you pretty much have to wait for people to offer their space before you can plan to go there. The phrasing of the question makes me feel like he is just expecting to come over. The thing is, I also have a roommate, but she is old enough to be my aunt, and I feel weird about having guys over, even if she says she doesn't care.
Am I overreacting? I haven't answered yet, and I feel like I should let this go, but I also don't want to be talked to like this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
InLAdXr7M3j9A5FzvMnuLFdIgXsdjbg0
|
amvxqa
|
{
"description": "making recommendations in a coaches group chat as an alumni",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making recommendations in a coaches group chat as an alumni?
|
This was at least a year ago, so I don't have a ton of details.
I was a member of an FRC team, specifically the team programmer. After I graduated, I joined the group chat for coaches. Fast forward a year, it's week 3 of build season and I notice the github account I set up for the team has zero activity on it. I message the coaches asking if they need the password or help using github, and get a response stating they haven't even started programming yet. I respond saying they should really get started and that they're behind where we were last season, which I considered a bad position.
A couple days later the head coach calls me and proceeds to chew me out, saying I can't decide whats best for the team, I'm not there, I can't help that much (I'm in college a 3hr drive away), I need to let them handle it on their own, etc.
I just nod and play along because at this point I don't give a shit, if he wants to crash the team into a brick wall I certainly can't stop him.
Months later I met one of the other coaches, he basically said he agreed with me & that the team had some... issues occur between the coaches. Among other things, their robot didn't even move at competition until they got a different team to program it for them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
7f9KOFUvwZsL4CY2ruChl4lmUrX8JNzA
|
ay6pqu
| null |
AITA my sister forgot her clarinet and she missed the bus
|
so basically... my older sister forgot her clarinet when we were waiting for the bus, and she ran back into get it. i told my bus driver this and she said she’d wait a min. even tho i haven’t mentioned this yet, please keep in mind, i share a bus stop with my neighbors. i saw someone else get on the bus and assumed it was her and everything was fine. it wasn’t until we were 3 streets away that i noticed. i have 1 parent and 3 siblings (including my sister) so it was hard for her to get to school with my little siblings still being in elementary and all. when i got home my dad gave me this lecture about how i should have told my bus driver to wait (even though i told him i did) and how i should’ve paid attention (it was 6:15 in the morning and i was pulling an all nighter for a test) and how siblings look out for each other. so aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
lBPkx8e9gVWMKiZlWMuxtKPTZSPPaIxR
|
avyusf
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend he shouldn't get a tattoo right now",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling my (F22) boyfriend (M23) he shouldn’t get a tattoo right now?
|
He’s been saying he wants another tattoo for over a year. Spur of the moment, he booked an appointment, put down a deposit and everything. The tattoo is going to be at least $700, maybe more. He still lives at home, has less than $2k in his checking. I tried telling him he should wait, and he said I wasn’t being supportive because I don’t like the tattoo itself. Admittedly, I don’t - it’s a scene from a manga and I think it’s kind of silly. But that’s not the whole reason I’m telling him to wait. AITA for telling him not to get a tattoo right now?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
A6vATObUqhvHrBZ0zLiUeRo75BPOfcYF
|
aefsbw
|
{
"description": "not investing time in a long standing friendship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for not investing time in a long standing friendship?
|
Hey all. Thanks for taking the time to read and potentially respond.
Little background: I have a long time buddy of ~ 10 years. We grew up together, went to high school and university together, and now live within sneezing distance of one another.
So... my current dilemma is this.
He texts and calls saying things like “yo let’s kick it on x day” with other heartfelt comments accompanying. Now that day rolls around and something comes up. I’m not unreasonable, shit happens. That said, shit doesn’t happen 8 scheduled days in a row (literal). So it’s now been 6 months since I’ve seen him.
Now this wouldn’t be a big deal except I’m moving states in 6 months and am genuinely concerned that our friendship will die then which would hurt. It would also be at the beginning of a medical school journey so I’m not looking to add sadness to that stress.
I’ve brought this issue up to him on numerous occasions. He said “I didn’t think you’d leave State.” And this conversation occurred about 2 months ago with no changes made.
I also feel like a fucking idiot every time we agree to hang. I block of the entire day and then kinda dip down into a sad emotional place when the plans get cancelled.
WIBTA for not investing my time/effort into our friendship?
Some additional info - I get that people grow apart and friendships change. But he has made numerous comments about wanting to be best men in one another’s weddings. So I’m also confused on how both of these realities exist and this adds to my anxiety about the current state of things.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OtuBVbSJYS53t9M05UdJ98C7SCryx4zr
|
ac975i
|
{
"description": "saying something about my sister-in-law's behaviour towards my mother and father-in-law",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying something about my sister-in-law's behaviour towards my mother and father-in-law?
|
I said something to my boyfriend about how I noticed that his sister was yelling at their mom and dad for not picking up what she wanted at the corner store when she went out. She got an attitude about it and was saying no it's fine but clearly had an attitude about it.
She also comes in their house and tells them how to spend their money. Like his mom will say she wants to buy something for herself and she will say no Mom don't spend your money on that. Like I get trying to help your older loved ones budget and not fall for scams but she literally tells them how to spend their money. To me it's bordering on elder abuse.
Am I the asshole for standing up for them? He doesn't like it when he says I talk shit about his sister but this isn't exactly me talking shit. It's about me standing up for the dignity of elders that I see being pushed around?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
h07GgD1EV1gkFZlWKKXfpEE0FgCcCjqy
|
b4gxvb
|
{
"description": "making people think a gift I gave them means more to me than it really does",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making people think a gift I gave them means more to me than it really does?
|
I am part of a young adults ministry program that focuses on biblical education and real world application. As a part of the program we go on a 3 week international trip around the time of spring break. This year we went to Ukraine to be a part of local college ministry's American week. Turns out Ukrainians love Americas and for a lot of University students it's their dream to move to America. As a part of this American week we were meeting with Ukrainians from the Universities one on one to talk about their lives, our lives and eventually tell them about our faith (because we're in a ministry program, it's what we do). The local Ukranian ministry had these cool ways to share what we believed by putting simple symbols on a bracelet for us to wear, so during the one on ones when we got to the point of sharing our faith we could just use the bracelet. We could just point at the symbols and associate it with a bit of our faith. When I would get to that point I would take the bracelet off show them the symbols and give my whole speil about what I believe. Then, because I had learned that Ukrainians love to give and receive gifts, I would offer my bracelet to the person I was meeting. Usually they would be super excited because I was giving them MY bracelet right off my wrist. After our meeting though, I would fish another bracelet out of my pocket and do it all again. When I told one of my peers what I was doing, he went off on me, telling me I'm lying to people and being extremely immoral by making people believe that the bracelet has more value to me than it actually does. Am I in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ld0RUUAsnsrLmYQehoPOe5WSZxQPErJh
|
9u1z3k
| null |
AITA for how I reacted to getting something back from my brother
|
TLDR: had an argument with my brother because he won't give back something that belongs to me
So, a while ago I lent my brother something. I told him if he damaged it he would have to buy me a new one or fix it. He damaged it. It's still usable.
He stopped using it a few months ago, I found out it was damaged then. I didn't need them for a while, so I told them he had to get it fixed before he gave it back. A few weeks ago, I needed it. I asked for it back and he said he'd get it fixed and give them back. He didn't.
We are both university students and we are in the middle of exams, and he's saying he doesn't have time to get them fixed, and I'll have to wait until he gets around to it.
I've been getting more and more frustrated because he won't give it back. He offered to pay me some money and fix it but I didn't think that was good enough because I would still have to go to the inconvenience of getting them fixed, and the money might not even cover that.
We had an argument, he told me to fuck off and I called him a selfish asshole.
Am I the asshole here? If I am, what could I have done differently? Either way, what csn I do to get the item back and repair my relationship with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XR1wjL2iUNs4OfrordJdm3nz30xO6F39
|
agmtlj
|
{
"description": "blocking my brother's internet connection",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 24
}
|
AITA for blocking my brother's internet connection?
|
I (18M) have to share a room with my little brother (9M) because there's no other room available. He plays fortnite with his friends all day and SCREAMS/POUND THE TABLE EVERYTIME HE DIES. So I downloaded a program that limit other user's internet from a wi-fi and completely shutdown his connection when he starts to become noisy. He don't even suspect me. Yes, I've tried to tell my parents but hey it is somehow normal for them. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 24
}
|
WRONG
|
GPRWXM7g8jtJtA8s9Us87zfqe7iEWgjG
|
b0hr0q
| null |
AITA boyfriend staying out late
|
My boyfriend and I live together. We're in college. It's hard for me to sleep when he's not here. He likes to stay out late, and I want to be okay with it, but him coming home anywhere from 1:30-3:00 wakes me up, and I already have sleeping issues and an autoimmune disease, so sleep is important. Am I the asshole? Is it wrong for me to want him to come home at a certain time? Especially on school nights?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
yZHlslHWhr86txjx8MfIAZDPKI4qMHkn
|
aeflx8
|
{
"description": "backing out of a pre-lease with plenty of time for to-be roommate to find new person to lease with",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I back out of a pre-lease with plenty of time for to-be roommate to find new person to lease with?
|
TLDR at bottom
Some backstory:
I (23M) live on the edge of my college town in a 2bd/1ba apartment with my dog. The rent is cheap at $630/month including water and none of the stupid pet rent stuff. While rent is cheap and the area I am living in is not the best in the city, the apartment is not rundown (nice hardwood floors, lots of natural light, the top floor) and the management company has been making improvements all year and are very responsive to maintenance requests.
I got a roommate this year because I was looking to save some money to travel during the summer. Through the grapevine, I was able to entice someone (22F) to live with me. We get along fine and there is no drama between us, but our personalities and living standards clash on occasion.
The biggest frustration is that she wants a dog. She has never had one of her own, but she doesn’t even lift a finger to take care of mine (not that I expect her to), but there have been multiple instances where I asked her to let him out or to feed him to come home to an apartment smelling like poop and an ashamed dog. BACKSTORY DONE:
The issue:
We were looking for new places to live next year and found one that is closer to campus, more expensive, lower quality, and more expensive. To me, not a great trade off to where we are living now. We tour the apartment and a few days later, I get an email saying that I’ve been listed as a roommate and need to sign the lease (starting 8/1/19). Surprised by this, I contact her and we talk about, I agree to live with her. I sign the lease, it have yet to pay the deposits (pet and security). We talk about it some more and she says that she is planning to adopt a dog next year as a house warming gift. There is no additional pet deposit fee and she is refusing to split it with me.
I am very frustrated by this. And am planning on telling her to find a new roommate to take over my portion of the lease at the new apartment and I’ll just stay put by renewing my lease. I am also considering not paying the deposits, therefore making the lease null after five days, but that would mean I have to live with her for another year or longer.
TLDR: roommate strongarms me into signing lease and then tells me that she is adopting a dog after I signed. WIBTA if I tell her to find someone to take over my portion of the rent with over 7mo before move in?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ar0zl51C2OWuIAcIlj3Q2b4Xt5PqNuXW
|
atc8lx
|
{
"description": "being happy that my best friend and her boyfriend broke up",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being happy that my best friend and her boyfriend broke up
|
So my friend (Alice will be her name) broke up with her boyfriend (I’ll call him John) and I honestly didn’t like John all that much after awhile because I saw how he actually was with his friends and around Alice all that stuff. He had no respect for other people’s things(he would leave trash and messes in someone else house or car or any place in general) he also was a huge liar in my opinion and I didn’t like that he lied so much and made others look like a bad guy in a situation that they weren’t.
I didn’t mind him at first but then all these things started to show up after he got comfortable with everyone. He was also a very mopey and manipulative person too which bothered me too. John also used his depression to get attention from people which I think is a really messed up thing to do because using something like that for attention isn’t right. But back to the main thing. AITA in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ss8kW9TzMzDGhxPRFQIBOmusixyP4H6k
|
b6rf6z
|
{
"description": "questioning someone on their finances with an ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for questioning someone on their finances with an ex?
|
I’ve been seeing someone who still has a phone plan and shares other bills with their ex. They’re still friends as well, which seems like a major red flag for me. They got super upset when I asked about it. I didn’t accuse them of anything, I just said that it seemed weird. Am I over reacting? I told one friend and he said that it’s probably just leaving the relationship and the chance of getting back together open.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GpeWtieDTorQiwqyb3caxCKrq4qZW8H6
|
asflk0
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my ex after telling her I love her the day before",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my ex after telling her I love her the day before?
|
This was last year, I was 14 at the time and this was the first relationship either of us had.
Background: me and my ex (let's call her "M") were in the same class in 8th grade, she was very shy and socially awkward and I was pretty much her only male friend, There were pretty big hints that M had a crush on me, and I also had a crush on her, but eventually forced myself to get over her because I was afraid that if we would end up dating I'd stop liking her (hint: that's EXACTLY what happened).
Half a year went by and M asks me out via a mutual friend, I rejected her because of the reasons I mentioned her and we barely talked for the rest of the year. Fast forward a few months to the start of 9th grade, me and M talk about the rejection and decide we should go back to how it was, it all goes well for a week, cue the AITA.
I eventually develop feelings for M, and after about a day of thinking about it, I ask her out. It all goes well at first, but after 3 weeks or so I start to doubt if I liked her as much and she liked me, I think about it but don't do anything about it yet, a week later and it's our 1 month anniversary, I, being the unoriginal guy that I am, ask my best friend for an idea for a gift, she tells me to draw a heart but instead of lines, it's all the reasons I love M, I think about it and wake up super early the day before to make the gift, I give it to her and she absolutely loved it, and it all goes well, for about a couple of hours.
Me and my best friend were talking and the conversation drifted to me and M, and after a couple of minutes I realized that I was correct in doubting my feelings, and so I decide to break up with her the next day, not wanting her to be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't return the same feelings.
Now, normally, this would be a normal thing to do, if it weren't for the fact that I gave her a gift to show my love for her, the day before breaking up with her because I don't have any feelings for her anymore, which lead to all of her friends hating me.
As for me, I think I was totally the asshole in this situation, but what about you, strangers of reddit, do you think I was an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
vvXd5hZLMfeLybfrdFXsOf3DPd9L3SlH
|
b53ub9
|
{
"description": "being upset my friend with anxiety won't come over",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset my friend with anxiety won't come over?
|
So i have this best friend we'll call her ash and like i've recently started going over to her house and she's shy and has anxiety so it's hard for her to make new friends so she's always so excited when we hangout. Here's where the problem starts, my mom is doing this event thing and she wants my friend to come over to our place for a bit so she can take pictures. I think this is a great idea i'll get to show her my room and stuff but she says it'll be awkward. It wasn't a no but I was feeling pretty mad at it and i asked her what she meant by awkward and she said "well i've never been there and there might not be enough things to do and stuff" and my mom got upset too she was talking to me about it and she said "I don't get it, why can you come over and have fun but the moment you mention even slightly coming over to YOUR house she doesn't even have to think to say no?" of course my mom was exaggerating but i kinda felt the same way. My mom lives in an apartment building, she owns a hair shop and is going to get a house soon but for now the salon and her kids are her priorities right now. Am i an asshole for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
EMnFrGGvhZfMHOkl1T6M5eU1cteIq7nS
|
aolmog
| null |
AITA :Get Banned From All Tourneys With Rewards
|
AITA story. Here are details
Backstory: My club recently started Smash Bros tourneys. In the last two tourneys (first one I didn’t participate), N wins the tourney, then I win the next. In the tourney I won, I did talk smack, boasted about how it would be N and me to decide who wins (It would likely end that way). I won fair and square, and was accused of exploiting weaknesses mid-tourney, which I boldly stated I did. Got the reward, thanked everyone and the host for participating, and left.
Today: Tourney’s reward is told on Tuesday/Wednesday: a Samus amiibo. I’m excited, and await the day. I was forewarned about how I or other tourney winners would be handicapped. In my mind, I’m thinking entire stocks or percent, but am wrong. I was told by the host I was automatically disqualified from all tourneys with rewards. Anyway, no fit or anything, I’m good at the game.
Am I an asshole, or is the host an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
ZHBJxu2HOvLJx8xVloWk6ej6L5MXTWfg
|
a7jydv
|
{
"description": "slapping a little kid",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for slapping a little kid?
|
this was a few months ago btw. im 17 and I went to the park to play some B-ball with my cousins. This one little kid who is my mom's friend's son was there and i hate him. He's very, extremely annoying, rude, and disrespectful. I'm 5 years older than him (He's 12), he would shove me and act very aggressive to me. Anyways, I was just shooting the ball and stuff. He got the ball and shot it, okay. Then i grabbed the ball and shot it as well. he got mad that I grabbed the ball (its not even his, its one of my cousin's) after he shot it and i got the rebound. We were all just taking the ball off the rebound and shooting it as we please, atleast until this kid came in, acting like he owns the place. he started shoving me and slapping my thigh (thats how tall he is lmao). I didn't do anything because I didn't care much, but then this is where i lost it. He jumped up, grabbed my newly bought ralph lauren hat, threw it on the ground and kicked it. I got so mad, i turned around and slapped the little kid. I didn't slap him too hard, but he started bawling. He was crying (kinda sounded fake) i felt like he was really exaggerating/overreacting. I didn't beat him up or anything, just slapped him. I checked if he was bleeding, to be sure that he was okay, and the kid was completely fine, not so much as a bruise. but he was still crying. sounded a bit fake too. I just ignored his crying and went up, dusted my hat off, and left to go to tell his parents what happened. They started blaming me and yelling at me. Although i felt what i did was a little too much, I feel like they really need to teach that kid how to treat others. He doesn't respect anyone. I remember he hit his grandmother because she told him to get off the PS4. Needless to say, I haven't seen that kid since. but i hope he grows up and finds out how to be civil and respectful, or else he'll learn the hard way again from someone who doesn't take too much shit.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
wEVSUR284UIcTZwwn7wPGdNSf7R3rtlu
|
b8l5yw
|
{
"description": "reading my younger sisters messages/texts? she always complains that I don't care about her privacy but I found out something dangerous",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for reading my younger sisters messages/texts? she always complains that I don't care about her privacy but I found out something dangerous?
|
English isn't my first language.
​
I know it was wrong to do that but what I found out is shocking and I don't know if I should be happy that I read them or not.
So.….
My sister was using my laptop, she was whattsapping in my laptop. She lost her phones charger, her phone was battery low. So she was waiting for my charger, it was already in my phone. When my phone became full, she took my charger and went to her room but I don't know if she forgot or not but her whattsapp wasn't logged out.
After some time, I started doing some work on my laptop, I opened WhatsApp too and I got massages from her friends on my laptop. She was using her phone. My eyes fell on them saying ''we got 1.5k'', I started reading and reading. They literally talked about all the things they did.
They didn't say who he was.
What I understood from them is:
\- that he hit on one of them, she hit back on him and they started talking. She started making him believe that she is shy and innocent.
\-Her friends which are my sister and the 3rd friend started to act as if they are helping ''lover s'' to be together. they promised him to help them have a sexual relationship. They are 3 friends, all girls.
\-They told him that she is poor, that she lives far away from the school and have to travel almost 2 hours everyday. They planned a night and he even gave them an address. They told him that it will cost a lot, that she doesn't feel pretty and have no clothes, that she lives far away etc and needs money.
\-They asked for 3k but they got only one 1,.5k from him, they didn't go to him, so they didn't get the other 1.5k.
They told each other to delete everything just in case, they deleted all their massages. It was deleted from my laptop too.
UNBELIEVABLE. I am shocked at how much those 14 year old kids can lie and deceive.
What kind of an idiot falls for that for god sake?
I am her older brother and her legal guardian btw. I took screenshots of some of their conversations.
​
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
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