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lNr6M65mgMmZD54vfHu0mfs4sVJtoYY1
|
aeaz8o
| null |
AITA
|
So, I'm going to be as vague and as detailed as I can be so please bear with me.
This all started about a month ago when I made a facebook post about politics and OH cousin (CIL cousin in law, for now) went nuts commenting on my post, near 200 comments arguing with anyone who gave her the attention. Well, my phone started getting hot trying to load the comments and taking about 5 minutes to load new comments. I said enough, agree to disagree or I will block you. CIL said, "then block me," so, I did. But not before I got screenshots.
Well, since then she has been telling MIL & SIL that she never said that, that she never commented, that I'm crazy, blah, blah, blah. When I showed MIL the screenshots, she said that is the opposite of what shes saying and she doesnt know why CIL would act like that. Well, SIL is more... High school that MIL. She ignored screenshots and commented that why does all the drama have to happen while shes at work.
She has been posting on facebook memes indirectly about me, tagging cousin and having a grand time.
So, since she has been behaving rudely to me I was wondering if I would be the asshole to stop helping her with her 6 month old.
We go to a parenting class once a week and get 8 points to pick out whatever they have. Since SIL is not on WIC (women infants and children assistance), (she could be, she chooses not to apply,) we have been using our points to get 6 month old formula and clothes and food, instead of getting our 2 year old items.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
7gUgKUWLjvjX6XnB97viG5reALdguSAd
|
ayz076
|
{
"description": "getting in someone's personal space after he made an insensitive joke about International Women's day",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for getting in someone’s personal space after he made an insensitive joke about International Women’s day?
|
I’m on Mobile and in high school.
This happened this morning. A friend of mine found out what today is so he wrote “Happy international Women’s day” on the board.
Some kid (SK) thought it would be funny to erase the “wo” from “Women’s” right after the sub confiscated the markers.
I got pissy and walked up to the kid, got in his face, and told him that he was being rude and that dicks don’t get good careers and something like that.
The kid next to SK then started telling me off, saying that it’s just a joke and I’m the one being a bitch by getting in SKs face. I try to defend myself at first, saying that there’s an international men’s day (to which he replied that it only gets shut down by women’s rights activists, which to be fair, I’ve seen happen), but back down and apologize because in the end, I was invading his personal space and probably being loud. I then proceeded to try to play it off as a joke because I was so embarrassed.
Later, about an hour ago, my Speech/Debate Captain asked me about what happened. Turns out that SK told his brother, who told my captain who had to diffuse the situation for me.
I ended up DMing SK a full apology, letting him know that i had a bad morning and that I didn’t mean to take it out on him. I also let him know that I will be more than prepared to celebrate and listen to the 38% of sexual assault victims and 77% of certain individuals who try to commit deathpacito (can’t say the S word on this subreddit) (men) on November 19th, actual International Men’s Day.
So Reddit, Am I the Asshole? I’ll try not to get defensive in the comments.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
GvEarBhlEdHCoocJ0Y1d4asCu5pfHv2L
|
apif89
|
{
"description": "never letting my girlfriend's mom pay",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for never letting my girlfriend's mom pay?
|
A little bit of context: this girl and I have now been broken up for about a week and some of it may have had to do with her mom not liking me. I'm 19 and in college and she's 18 and in her senior year of high school. We dated for about a year and we both interacted with each other's families often.
​
Now onto the stories. There have been multiple times where her mom has offered to pay me/pay for me.
The first of these instances was I helped my girlfriend's sister and her husband move homes over the summer. It was a really hot day, like scorching. I did a lot of the heavy lifting myself, considering I was almost double the size of everyone there. It was a long day, we started at 10 am and didn't stop until 4 pm, and for me that was a lot because
I have a bad shoulder from high school wrestling. Her mom decided to pay me, with her own money. Not an amalgamation of her sister, her brother in law, her mom, and her brother in law's parents. Just her. She wanted to give me $140 of her own money. I have a very strict moral code, and I refused to take it because I offered to help, they didn't ask me. I wanted to use it to get closer with her family and show them that I was serious and hard working. We went back and forth for a few minutes. Her mom ended up handing my girlfriend the money and she left it on my desk while I was in the shower because we were gonna go out for dinner.
​
Another instance is when her sister graduated from grad school and we went to a local restaurant to celebrate. I was invited personally by her sister and mom, so we went and it was our time to order. This was kind of a fast food place with the food quality of a sit down place, so it was a little on the pricier side. She asked me what I wanted and I told her I didn't know yet, under the impression that I was paying for myself. It was her turn in line and she told me to order and I told her that I was fine and could pay for myself. We were holding up the line and her mom finally let go and let me order on my own. She seemed very upset with me for the rest of the night and my girlfriend told me that her mom didn't like what I did. I wanted to show that I was fiscally responsible and didn't need her to pay for me.
​
A few other times we went out and I let her pay which killed me, but my girlfriend told me to let her pay or else there would be a problem. I always paid for my girlfriend whenever we went out or got food. We ordered a pizza while we were at her house and her mom saw and said "Why didn't you guys tell me? I would have paid. You're in college you need every dollar." I had money saved from working full time over the summer and I have a campus job that pays decently. A $20 pizza wasn't going to leave a dent in my pocket.
​
TL;DR my girlfriend's mom always insists on paying for me and I don't let her because I want to show that I'm responsible, which makes her upset with me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
AYuqZ5iSRcbc0d6mQDjr94xKIArrYOyk
|
ab1tu6
|
{
"description": "hiding candy in the store so I can buy it when it's on sale",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for hiding candy in the store so I can buy it when it's on sale?
|
I have a weakness for chocolate. The day after a big holiday season, like Halloween, or Christmas, I will seek out the candy that's at 20-30% off and hide it elsewhere in the store. After a week or two go by, any related holiday merchandise has typically been dropped to upwards of 80-90% off. That's when I retrieve my stash and get a basket full of candy for pennies on the dollar.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
14DYoMtFjqoDa4jrFVqbguD24zAr5eH0
|
aeidqd
|
{
"description": "raiding a kid's discord server",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for raiding a kid’s discord server
|
So I’m rather active on a large discord server, and I got advertised in my direct messages by some kids small server. This was rather annoying, so I asked the mods to ban the kid, and then I went and spammed his server with the infamous cummies copypasta. You know the one.
So I was obviously subsequently banned which i wanted to happen, but the punishment had just begun.
This guy either used his alternate accounts or his friends and spammed my direct messages with horrible horrible things, gore, extreme porn, bestiality, scat porn, you name it. This was like seven or eight times being spammed with horrible shit. Every time i had to send it to a mod who banned them for another clown to hop in my direct messages again spamming garbage.
I was sick sending screenshots to my mods asking them to ban this kids alts. I had to turn off messages on my public server.
Was i really wrong to spam this guy’s chat that he sent me without warning or.
TL:DR
Kid sent me a dm of a link to a chat
I ctrl v’d them cummies, go google that
I got banned and then his friends dmed me scat
I had to turn on screenin for my friends only
People on the internet get really fuckin angry
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
2No07LlGzn85YZrlDKSoEZEiosh2aYjB
|
b9zoqt
|
{
"description": "wanting my gf to quit her second job",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For wanting my GF to quit her second job.
|
BG: Dating 4 years, Plan to Propose soon. I have 6-year-old son, with full custody. We live together with my parents in NYC. We are looking to move at the end of the school year to NC, for housing and schools. I work as a Freelance Consultant.
For 8 months, my GF was unemployed. She was a CRM/Office Manager for a big fab company, but due to poor business she was let go, while still owed 2 checks.
In Dec, she started as a Hostess in Manhattan. Paycut of $30/hr to $10/hr. Morning commute is about 60mins, at night 90-120 mins, so I pick her up (45 mins both ways )If parents are home. Her default is Uber $45-$60.
A couple of months later, the fab company has new ownership. She was rehired at a higher position w/ a raise + Back Pay. We were reserved but ecstatic she said she wanted to come back on a test basis for 2 pay cycles and then she would quit the hostess job.
It's April and she hasn’t quit. She works about 70+ hrs a week. She works from 9am-5pm as a Director then from 7pm-2am. She works every day, sleeps about 3/4 hours a night.
My reasons for wanting her to quit:
\- First, I think 2nd job is unnecessary. We don't pay rent and some utilities. Yes, we would like to move soon, but I think with our 2 incomes we should be focused on spending less not making more. Better financial habits. Right now we make about $6,000/mo living with my parents. I think we can live without the extra $1600.
\- Not worth it. At $15/hr + tips she makes about $400/week after taxes. Between the Gas, Uber trips, eating out more, Stress shopping, Me needing to commute All of these things eat away at the extra money being made. And those are just the monetary prices being paid. Let alone what it is doing to our relationship.
\- Her health. She says people work 70+ hr jobs all the time. I'm being too sensitive, treating her like she is fragile. These are 2 demanding jobs, the hostess one especially. She's developed a limp being on her feet all the time. She's just overall miserable, which affects any quality time that I try to spend with her.
\- This schedule isn't optimal for me and by her working so much I can't work that much. If she came home in the evening, I could log more hours. Which would allow me to contribute more.
I am tired of this commute. 90 mins just to pick her up. I would gladly give her my car to drive between these jobs but she scared of driving
Friends tell me she doesn't feel secure enough to leave the job just yet. I need to make her feel secure about the situation but idk what to do. I asked her is their a specific amount in mind before she quits if so I would like to contribute at this point, but she says just wants as much as possible before we move.
So, Reddit, AITA here? Should I just STFU and keep doing my nightly commutes and be happy about it?
TLDR: My GF kills herself being a hostess at night, we don't need the money.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
SED3VEw42oJX6pNLMOVU3LB22X7ypkLQ
|
amqhjn
|
{
"description": "finding it creepy that my gf best friend doesn't like to share almost anything of her life",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For finding it creepy that my gf best friend doesn't like to share almost anything of her life.
|
My girlfriends best friend, and partly also my friend, is a young adult, whom lives with her mom. Which I secretly envy just a tad bit. I've known her for over two years now, and to say our relationship has been rocky is an understatement. the reasoning are as follow.
1. She does not like to share her past with people, which I understand, a lot of people don't like to do that. which is fine by me. The weird thing is, she likes to ask a lot of questions relating to my or my girlfriends past. sometimes she judges us for it, which in hindsight I find a bit odd. for example, you will tell her how you tried to fix an engine of a car, she will tell you that you did not do it properly, and that repair you applied was wrong, and then you ask her how she would know such a thing, and if she has any reference or experience with fixing cars? she tells you she has experience and then cuts off to silence. You ask her where and how she received this experience and knowledge. She then avoids the question and kinda denies she ever told you that answer. When I usually ask her why she behaves this certain way, the staple answer that I usually receive is as follow;"I don't think people should judge other people on their past, and I don't think my past will benefit your knowledge at all." So basically it's been a narrow one way street of information for the past two years now. Which usually makes our get together pretty dry....and not in the funny way.
2. She like to segregate her life a lot, you know those people who don't like to share what they do at work, or their private life? in most circumstances you would respect this persons wishes and talk about different subject to fill in the gap. In this case though, this girl likes to segregate everything, where it almost feels like an addiction. Work,family,friends,love-life. You name it she will hide it from you, or just plain deny that she has a relationship, just because she doesn't want to mingle her affairs together. You try to meet her boyfriend? she will use every excuse in the book to make you not see him, which gets weirder the longer they are together. You try to visit her house? forget about it, you try to talk with one of her friends (normal conversation) behind her back, she will get mad at you and throw a tantrum, and in some way force her friend to not talk to me anymore. Her boss is calling her? she will push you without any warning, and run away from you, just so her boss can't hear you on the phone, while you're looking flabbergasted at her. She tend to check her phone every 10-15 min, and then she will start talking with someone, and her body will be sitting in a way that's very asocial and basically hiding her screen from everyone, and when you ask her whom she talking to, she always replies with no one, and then leaves you hanging there for an approximate 5-10 minutes. As you can see this has not only been a headache for me, but also for my girlfriend, and her friends, and her mother. The mother has seen me a dozen times, and invited me to her house on multiple occasions, but whenever I as ask her about it, she doesn't want me to see her family or her house, and then proceeds to throws a tantrum.
3. She doesn't like it, when I get close to her, or touch her in any way, shape or form. Now before you start drawing any card here, read this part well. I had a best friend in college who was from Finland, now if anyone knows the culture and custom of Finland, it is very normal and kinda necessary to be a non-touchy person if you want to get along with the citizens (at least to my understanding, I might be wrong.) I'm from a country where non verbal communication is a norm, so dealing with no touching in anyway was hard to learn at first but I got used to it, and to my surprise actually helped me with my inter-cultural communication skills. Now the reason why I took this story is to compare it to her case. She does not like to be touched in anyway by me specifically. She loves it when my girlfriend touches her for some reason. So I kind kinda reflect her actions with my past this way. I accepted her rules and needs, and respect her boundaries, just like I did with my friend. great no issue right?
See it wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the fact that every time I accidentally touch her, or when I accidentally look in the eyes she throws a tantrum, as if I deviled her sanctity. It's come to the point where I avoid anything that relates physically touching her as much as possible, and I avoid as much eye contact as possible.
Recently I've started doing the same to her, I avoid talking about my past as much as possible. Whenever my friends throw a party or a get together, I don't invite her. and when I talk to her I avoid any non verbal communication that relates to touching her (If people are still confused with what I mean with touching, I mean a pat on her shoulder, or a handshake, or a normal hello, or goodbye hug, heck even a high five or a fist bump.) or looking her in the eyes. She has noticed this and is starting to frustrate her, and she feels 'neglected' for some reason. She is asking me to elaborate why I'm acting odd lately. But I've already kinda give up on negotiating a compromise, due to the fact that I've tried to negotiate in the past, but every time I tried to find a solution she would reply with an answer that's either very selfish, or just plain weird. So before I go have a talk with her I want to ask you guys AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
l7NtIvTe2Xevo9bpYk1XW0XiIc4Y6GrY
|
amh8ta
|
{
"description": "being upset that one of my friends came out as gay after dating my other friend (a girl) for two years",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being upset that one of my friends came out as gay after dating my other friend (a girl) for two years?
|
In our friend group, Brian and Lola (not their real names) have been dating for about two years. They're both nice people and they both seemingly really like each other. Then, one day, out of the blue, when we're all hanging out together at a local cafe, I see Brian on his phone and I ask "What's up", trying to make some casual conversation. He says "Oh, I'm on Grindr"-- and everyone else around us acts like that's the most natural thing. I'm kind of in shock because I was still under the impression that he was dating Lola. And that he was straight. So then I ask "So... you're bi?" (because, again, he'd been dating Lola), and he says "Nah. I'm gay." The air kinda became tense. I realized everyone was waiting for my reaction, to see what i'd say about his confession.
​
I tried to play it cool and made some joke about the dearth of good-looking date-able guys in our area or something, but inside I was growing mad. It would've made sense if Brian liked both men and women, and decided to hit up Grindr after breaking up with Lola... but if he ONLY liked guys, then doesn't that mean he intentionally wasted two years of Lola's romantic life? If he's 100% gay then he was never into Lola the way she was with him. He lead her on. Everyone else in my friend group, including Lola, is jumping to be accepting of Brian's "coming out" and is sweeping his old relationship under the table. No one even wants to discuss it. I realize its ultimately none of my business but I can't help but feel upset on the behalf of Lola. Just a few weeks ago, she would tell me how happy she was that she and Brian were both officially going to colleges within the same state so they didn't have to do the whole LDR thing. I also realize that Brian's behavior may have also been because we all went to a christian private school and that he may have only felt comfortable coming out on the cusp of graduation, but then why date anyone at all? Plenty of people didn't/don't have boyfriends/girlfriends. And why date Lola for two whole entire years? His parents aren't the judge-y type either. I just don't get it.
​
I haven't done anything really asshole-ish (yet) but I feel like an asshole for not being able to let this go when everyone else apparently has. I want to express myself but at the same time I don't want to make drama when it's clear that no one else wants it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
qUNsWvb2lODmhHlIvgvbtEtrHnbbsDk1
|
9wc1y8
|
{
"description": "messaging my best friends girlfriend after they broke up",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA messaging my best friends girlfriend after they broke up
|
One of my closest friends dated a girl for 5 years, they recently broke up and when he told me about It, we have all hung out together a few times but she was never really more than my friends girlfriend. He said they broke up mutually and just wanted different things out of the relationship. I messaged her a day after they split saying it sucks it happened, it was nice getting to know you I’m sorry it ended between the two of them. I joked about him sending her nudes (I explicitly said immediately after that it was a joke to her and she knew already it was anyway its just my sense of humour) and basically parted ways there. They are seeing each other again but not actually dating its more FWB, but he’s upset with me for texting her at all. AMITA for messaging her? Should I just have not said anything? I honestly just thought I was being polite but now I’m not so sure.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
XeUJWFRhsd1VV2OAscTQc8vphsfMeMFp
|
b40tbk
|
{
"description": "trying to lie to my girlfiend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for trying to lie to my girlfiend?
|
My gf and I are in a bad place at the moment. We've been fighting a lot.
​
A few weeks ago it was particularly bad, and because of our fighting I had to last-minute cancel plans with the same friend twice in a week. My gf was with me when I cancelled, so we came up with legitimate sounding excuses as to why I had to cancel. He was understanding each time.
​
The next week, we had made plans again but another big fight started. This time, my gf wasn't with me, so I decided to be honest with my friend and tell him I had to cancel because of the fight that was starting. I was uncomfortable lying again. I called him and told him, and again he was understanding.
​
The reason I called was because she will often demand to see my messages to make sure that I'm not talking about her. She hates the idea of being talked about unfairly, which I can understand. I know it's wrong for her to demand this, but she goes by the logic of "if you've got nothing to hide you would shot me", and while I see how this is problematic, I usually don't have anything to hide and it will end the potential argument if I just show her. If she knew that I had been honest with my friend when cancelling, she would have EXPLODED.
​
The next day however, he messaged me and we had a conversation that went something along the lines of... him: "hey man, how was it? you okay?" me: "yeah it was okay, we worked through it" him: "that's good, we can talk about it when we meet up if you need to".
​
A few hours later, my gf asked me "what did you tell him when you cancelled on him yesterday?".
​
I was caught off-guard, and came up with an unconvincing lie. She demanded to see the texts. I protested, knowing that my conversation with him would start a big argument. She insisted. My phone was in the other room, so I got up to get it and while walking back quickly deleted the messages with my friend from earlier in the day. This took a little longer than it should have however, so my gf became suspicious. She became convinced that I had deleted messages (very observant of her, tbh), and after arguing about it for a long time I came clean. We had one of our biggest ever arguments.
​
I understand you shouldn't lie to your partner. I also think I should be able to talk to my friends about issues I'm having in my relationship, without fear. I feel incredibly guilty for having lied, but genuinely think think that others might have done the same thing in my situation.
​
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
Pqr8WUxR06tlcvgCiJDzAvLNODwBgHn6
|
b0xywg
|
{
"description": "suggesting to spend less time with a friends ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for suggesting to spend less time with a friends ex?
|
I started talking to this girl while she was dating a friend of mine, and kept talking to her after they broke up. Recently it has been brought to my attention that when I hang out with her 1 on 1, it bothers him. Wanting to respect that, I suggested to the girl that maybe we should stop hanging out for a little while until I can work things out. I have known the guy for 15 years, and only known her for a year and a half, so I feel it’s only right to side with him, but when I told her this, she lost it. She went off on a tangent about how it’s not fair that he decides if I’m in her life or not, which I agreed with and that’s why I told her I was going to try and work things out. I never said that we couldn’t talk anymore, and I told him that I wouldn’t stop talking to her over text, which he was fine with. She brought up a bunch of personal problems and I told her that I was still going to be there if she needed me or wanted to talk at all, but she didn’t seem to like that idea. Since that time we’ve talked less and less and I can’t help but think that I might be the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
BsEM5qvvh2aR4bdnsPnaX3VnQ7Svv4jV
|
atqv9f
|
{
"description": "telling my ex she had some growing up to do",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my ex she had some growing up to do?
|
My last relationship had a lot of issues. Any small thing I would do would be enough to make her so mad she wouldn't speak to me for days, and I'm talking things like saying "not bad" after a workout instead of "good job" warranted the silence. There were absolutely times that I fucked up and she was right to be angry at me for, but I honestly feel like those were scarce as I generally just did my best to make her happy.
Everything became annoying to her, eventually she only half-jokingly threatened to slap me when I was telling her how I was feeling down about a workout because she said I had no reason to feel down based on how I'd measured it.
Winter break comes, and things are weird. She breaks down crying during runs and I try to be there for her and encourage her. She hung up on me when I said something like "yeah today was rough and it didn't go well but it's in the past so just get back out there tomorrow and go harder." Apparently that was the wrong sentiment. One night, she tells me that she's not sure she wants to date anymore, and I told her to take her time to think about it and that I would support whatever decision she made. Every so often I ask her where she is on her decision, and she always says she hasn't made one.
One day, we were supposed to go to an art gallery and meet to leave at 9:30. I'm in class until 9:15, a fact she knew but forgot this morning. So at 9:00, she asks when we're supposed to meet, and when I didn't reply she got sassy about it and just started walking to my car. I apologized when I saw the texts, told her sorry I was in class and on my way. I freely admit to being annoyed and decided to be a little sassy back, saying "You know class gets out at 9:15 right?" and then I was over it. She wasn't, and that comment pushed her over; she said she had too much homework to come and asked me to drop her off at her dorm. When I pulled up, she sort of spat out the breakup words like a super fast word salad, jumped out of my car and ran inside before I could speak.
I called a couple times then and later that night; no response. I sent her a good-bye text the next morning, saying that I still supported her decisions, and if it was because of anything I did that I was really sorry and if she needed anything just ask. She called back later that day.
She confirmed that it was the 9:15 comment that pushed her over the edge, and that she'd wanted to break up since the conversation over winter break. She'd been deliberately treating me terribly to try and get me to dump her, and she tried to rationalize the breakup method as giving me space to calm down (I think it was an impulse done in anger).
I (calmly) told her I thought the way she'd handled things was immature and that she probably had some growing up to do. She started crying, saying we couldn't even be friends, hung up on me, and has now told all her friends I'm an asshole for saying mean things to her.
TL;DR Messy breakup, AITA for saying she handled it badly?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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sx1K5tRwymH6Bkdu4OGQAAKjDEjw4rzW
|
b5dbz8
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{
"description": "taking a Bluetooth module which technically is not mine",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I took a Bluetooth module which technically is not mine.
|
About half a year ago my group partner and I were working on a project for school for which we had to buy a Bluetooth module. I told her I would buy it for us and so I did. A couple of months ago while she was doing some final touches to the project at home, she messaged me saying the Bluetooth module was not working for her, but luckily she had one laying around her house anyway as it turned out. Fine, the Bluetooth module was working perfectly fine for me just a couple of days before that, but whatever, does not really matter.
I asked her if she could return the Bluetooth module since she was not using it anymore, she said she would do so, but ended up never actually giving it back.
About two weeks ago, we had to demonstrate our project and that was the end of it all. Over the past few months I have asked her multiple times if she could return the Bluetooth module since I need it for a personal project, she kept saying she would, but never did.
I am starting to get a bit impatient and since we have finished the project, we are allowed to take back the parts we would like to keep (including the Bluetooth module). Would I be an asshole for taking the Bluetooth module even though it technically is not mine? It is not the same module (HC-06 (mine) vs HC-05 (hers)), but I was the one who paid 16 euros for the original module and I have asked her multiple times if I could have it back.
So, would I be the asshole if I took the Bluetooth module, even though it technically is not mine?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
VpZDiDWMINQsPJHBVNA00aHJWPety2DC
|
avzbrw
|
{
"description": "being rude at my roomate for spending two hours in the bathroom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being rude at my Roomate for spending two hours in the bathroom?
|
So I got home from school and work and lifting, and I was exhausted. It’s 6pm and I saw my roomate in the bathroom, okay cool. He’s in there until 8 PM. I had to pee so bad and I was so sweaty. He was just in there for an hour, and I heard him shower for another hour.
When he went out I said “what the fuck bro? What were you doing”
He didn’t say anything and just quickly walked to my room. I felt reallly bad after
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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EVERYBODY
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}
|
RIGHT
|
7DtwQHRbOoC9p120Gb29tRhtatpOdW7j
|
b3h267
|
{
"description": "dating a woman 20 years younger than I am",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for dating a woman 20 years younger than I am?
|
I am a 42 year old man dating a 21 year old woman. We've been together for two years. We have a fantastic functioning relationship and we plan on marrying this year, and she is already pregnant with twins.
As a little background, I am divorced, with five daughters from a previous marriage (24, 21, 21, 19, and 18) and another from an old affair (age 20).
To make a long story shirt, me and a woman in her mid-thirties were at the grocery store. We live in a small city so small talk isn't uncommon. Family life comes up, and I mention I'm planning on marrying soon. She inquires to know more, I tell her about my girlfriend, and joking about how young she was. She completely lost it. I personally don't know what was wrong with her - I think she was mentally ill. But she started crying and screaming, saying that "she was just a child" and nonsense like that. It was like she was having a nervous breakdown. I felt so embarrassed for her, she was obviously mentally unwell.
I discussed this with one of my close friends and she did say it was "sort of weird" for me to be seeing a woman 20 years younger than I am - especially when I have three children older than her. I agree that is a little funny, three daughters older than their own stepmother, but nothing inherently weird or bad. We're both consenting, rational adults, and we're both happy with our relationship.
So, I wanted to get the consensus of the good old Internet here - am I the "asshole"?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
JRp6bNT4lCrJH3zW6H3r5bbsCGBD7lwI
|
awiwtd
|
{
"description": "liking a picture of a random girl in a bikini on IG and my girlfriend snooping and finding it",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for liking a picture of a random girl in a bikini on IG and my girlfriend snooping and finding it?
|
Hi all,
so I follow all kinds of different profiles in IG...2 or 3 of them being pages of random cute girls. I’m not thirsty, I don’t leave comments, I dont try to DM them. I’m very happy with my girlfriend and my romantic/sexual attention has always been on her....I find her incredibly attractive and don’t have eyes for anyone else. I don’t talk to or hang out with any girls IRL...in fact, I spend 95% of my evenings with my GF. Every now and then when I scroll through my IG feed I’ll do the old ‘scroll and like’ and spend literally 2 seconds on any post.
So my GF is a jealous and slightly insecure person...I am, too...so I’m not complaining. But she’ll do this thing where she will look at the pages I follow and if any of them are attractive girls I’ve known or some random account she will follow them too...to pretty much keep tabs on me. She did this yesterday and found some random account I follow then looked through literally a dozen and half posts to finally find one from 6 days ago I liked. Then she texts me about it and tells me I hurt her...I apologize. Now she’s been giving me the cold shoulder for the past day and making me out to be like some shitty bf. I can understand if I was leaving creepy comments or talking to some girl or something...or if I shared it on social media but I literally just liked a photo of some random girl that I don’t know and moved on.
I feel frustrated because she purposely went seeking this out, for no reason, and then tells me how I hurt her. I apologized once but knowing her she wants me to prostrate myself and beg for forgiveness...and I don’t want to do that because I don’t think I did anything ‘wrong’ or broke her trust. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
WLrFwPSDZINyuh8eOO7PBnWR5LwNb5XA
|
am6n8r
|
{
"description": "being upset that my dads pipeband won't let him keep the band tie/badge, he's 83",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my dads pipeband won’t let him keep the band tie/badge, he’s 83 !
|
My dad is 83 and for 50 years has played the bagpipes and been with one pipe-band for 30 years, paying their annual subscription and attending regularly.
He now doesn’t have the lung capacity to play which has led to quite a sad time for him, his coping mechanism was to contact the band and advise he would no longer be an active playing member and wouldn’t attend practice sessions to learn new tunes which he couldn’t then play on his pipes. He did not resign from the charitable organisation ( the band is a charity) but offered back his kit (kilt etc) requesting to keep his tie and badge so he could attend some functions wearing these; proudly represent them alongside all active members at fund raising events etc. The committee declined his request and demand the badge/tie to be returned. Had he not contacted them, continued paying his annual subscriptions, these items would be with him until he passed away. I
I have have resisted contacting them direct as maybe I am blinkered by love and the fact I hate seeing him upset. Has he been unfairly treated ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
WwkqTrxd7DXBtCijn2EqJH6Ko6Z8PX7L
|
b1t9lh
|
{
"description": "assuming my friend would pay for my movie ticket",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for assuming my friend would pay for my movie ticket?
|
Scene: friend says “hey I have a lot of (loyalty points) I can spend on movies and I need to get rid of them. Wanna see a movie Friday? So I say yes. Movie day comes and he pays for himself and his GF leaving me to pay my own. I haven’t said anything but it was a wtf kind of moment in my head. It was also Captain Marvel in 3D, definitely not worth the 17 bucks I paid for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
L5qaN0pwpa9peYGk1YfnNpwANFJ5fvJy
|
a1ahqp
|
{
"description": "saying my S/O's Maid of Honor is a victim playing selfish person and that she was crazy",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for saying my S/O's Maid of Honor is a victim playing selfish person and that she was crazy.
|
So where do I begin. To keep it simple my fiancée's Maid of Honor has issues with anxiety and I understood this at the time. So, we're about a month away from the wedding in this story and we (me and my Fiancée) decide we want to take wedding party photos on the same day as the bachelorette/bachelor party since everyone will be together it seemed like a good time to do it. Well this stressed her out and she decided to drop out of the wedding because it was too much for her. Obviously we were upset that she did this especially so soon before the wedding but we were by no means mad at her. So we do what we have to do which is replace her spot as MoH with one of the bridesmaids, we did this within an hour of her telling us. Understandable right? I think so. Well a few hours later she said she wanted to be back in the wedding. My Fiancee and I decided it was best if she was out of the wedding.
At this point she was very upset that she wasn't going to be in the wedding party. She "apologizes" to us via text. This is word for word her apology...
She said "Sorry for stress and the crying" End of apology... this frustrated me because I don't see this as an apology my fiancée deserved a better apology IMO.
She goes on and says her mother is addicted to meth (which we knew of already) and that that is stressing her out and basically the way I see it she was throwing a full on pity party. I wish I could show the exact message she sent but I don't have a way of getting it atm. So I start talking to her girlfriend (who I was best friends with at the time) and I tell her that I think that apology she gave wasn't really an apology. We go back and forth for a while arguing and I end up saying the MoH was playing victim and was being incredibly selfish and inconsiderate. I'm being as honest as I can be here. I also called her crazy (Not to her but to her Gf) and I said her Gf was insane for taking her side. I was upset and shouldn't have said those things. I have apologized to them though. So my main thought her is Am I the asshole here or is she.
If there are any questions about anything I will gladly answer them. If anything doesn't make sense I will clarify if asked. Thank you for your time!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
bR6OFpdr6tGOr6tu0tNCqzmjUcYB83Ca
|
b4kv3b
|
{
"description": "not going to my best friends (I was also the best man) destination wedding cause I couldn't afford it",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to my best friends (I was also the best man) destination wedding cause I couldn't afford it?
|
Couldn't make it to my best mans, (and I was his) wedding in Mexico cause I couldn't afford it and just had my first born child like a month before the trip? Just doing the math, it would have cost $2400 for me and my wife to go. There was I think about 60-100 people invited, bringing the total wedding cost to somewhere in between $72,000 and $120,000. I really wanted to be there for him like he was for me, my wedding was in our home town and had a budget of $15,000 that my wifes family almost entirely paid for. Is it me or does it seem crazy to get your guests to pay that much to attend the wedding? Just for context all of us are lower to middle class families. Thanks in advance for your judgemnts! :)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
GYabDZ5dTx3BbXPwPD4eOeU5KJgcGUJ4
|
aqq977
|
{
"description": "noticing a pattern of which ethnic groups are the biggest pain to deal with as customers",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for noticing a pattern of which ethnic groups are the biggest pain to deal with as customers?
|
Alright so first let me preface this with two things:
•I am white and very aware I undountedly have inherent biases, and do my damnedest to fight them and better myself
•I hold firm to the belief that Nazis deserve to be decked in the throat. repeatedly.
•because of the nature of this question, I would prefer if nonwhite people responded to this
I work in a coffeeshop in a mall (not a Starbucks), and have been there for coming up on three years this May. Naturally, I get some shitty customers, as well as plenty of fantastic customers. The problem is that I've noticed a pattern in what groups have been the biggest pains in my ass to deal with, at least as customers. And unfortunately that manages to settle into two specific groups: Hispanic families and east Asians. Hispanic families being the groups of at least three people at once, usually with at least one kid. First, there tends to be a language barrier that's difficult to get past, but I've learned to deal with that. *However*, these groups also tend to end up being picky on top of not knowing what they actually want (ordering one thing and then realizing they ordered wrong when I've finished the drink, even when I clarified what they meant when they ordered the drinks), showing up less that 30 minutes before close, not using normal manners like "please" and "thank you," either tipping less than 50 cents or not tipping at all, giving me a $50 or $100 bill for an order under $10, and making an awful mess and either not cleaning up after themselves at all or half-assing their "attempt" to clean up. I realize that outside of a retail scenario these people are probably perfectly reasonable, but at work I'm starting to build a preemptive internal feeling of frustration when these demographics of people just walk into the store, before they've even approached the counter.
Am I just being awful and racist, or am I just noticing an unfortunate pattern? There are also plenty of fantastic PoC customers and godawful white customers (for example, my favorite customers are black people because I literally almost never have any problems with any black customers), so I'm not sure if this is a bias or just a really awful coincidence.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fgJpPrSZGh7NNOVI5owe1LJ2cMsD0qdC
|
aalrfr
|
{
"description": "asking the waitress to ask another table to keep their voices down",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking the waitress to ask another table to keep their voices down?
|
^((obligatory disclaimer for using a throwaway account))
I was at a restaurant, one of my favourites, which has always been a little classy—i.e. it was one of those places with prices a bit above average, that you usually go to when you want to have a very good meal. I don't know if this detail is actually relevant (I think it is), but what I'm trying to say is that the place is not a trattoria, pub, those kind of place where people usually go to have fun and be loud.
We were having a good time, enjoying our meals, like always. At a certain point, a big group of young men came and took a table. They **immediately** started being very loud, to the point that I couldn't even talk to my friends, or even concentrate to what I was eating.
In my opinion, this ruined the mood of a good lunch, so I asked politely the waitress if she could tell those men to lower their voices a bit, because we couldn't even talk to each other.
She answered that it is not her job to do such a thing and that, anyway, her boss would not like it if she did.
​
At that point, I just wanted to leave because I wasn't having a good time anymore; but I suck it up because my friends thought it wasn't really a big deal. I stayed the rest of the luch unconfortable for the situation.
I think that a group of people who go to a public place such has a restaurant must show some respect for the other people who are there, and that it is the restaurant's staff's job to make sure everyone is having a good time.
Am I an asshole for wanting everyone to be moderately quiet? Should I have addressed the situation in a better way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
9VgII40jXPJS6LoMCaRvxfG9ipktAA7a
|
aq7n4r
|
{
"description": "telling my parents how to raise their kid",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for telling my parents how to raise their kid?
|
My parents and I have a really good relationship. No issues, no big fights, and no resentment (which might change). The PROBLEM in our house is my younger sister.
My sister is 14 and a freshman, and I’m 16 and a senior. It is safe to say that we do not have a good relationship, considering all that is happening.
Her friends are trash, smoke weed, vape, drink harder than college kids, and are have just awful personalities. She’s turned in to a nasty kid, and has an awful attitude towards my parents and I. She’s failing classes, skipping school, not doing her homework, taking my clothes, stealing my mother’s makeup, etc. Obviously, some discipline has had to come into play, which has mostly just been taking the form of taking her phone or not allowing her out on weekends, which makes me absolutely livid.
Most recent case in point was this past Saturday. Sister currently has her phone taken away, but has her friend’s old phone instead, which I have mentioned to my parents. Parents confronted her about it (not actually taking it because she denies having it) and she assumed I told them about it. So, to retaliate, she tells my parents he has video of my friends chugging wine at a party I attended and that my boyfriend and I have had sex on multiple occasions.
a) the “wine bottles” were bottles of fucking sparkling grape juice and b) the boyfriend and I have never had sex for specific reasons which my parents are aware of. At this point she’s blatantly lying in order to get me in trouble and I am absolutely pissed.
My parents and I sit down and have a conversation in response (basically reaffirming I didn’t do anything and she’s lying) and they tell me they’ll talk to her about it. I leave to go to breakfast with my boyfriend, pretty satisfied with how everything turned out until she fucking showed up in the SAME restaurant to go get breakfast with her friends.
I’m pissed. I was always punished relatively harshly when I acted out (e.g. getting a C on a test and getting my phone taken away for a month in 8th grade), yet she gets to do all this other shit to make me miserable and to try and throw me under the bus and she still gets to go out and have fun with her friends. My parents didn’t even TRY to talk to her.
Basically, I want to tell my parents that they need to shape the fuck up because this is bullshit that she isn’t getting punished for anything. My grandmother says it isn’t my place to say anything and that my parents already have a lot on their plate, but this is so fucking frustrating. They don’t do anything to discipline her. Just this morning I told her to take of my sweater and my dad just told me “leave it be.” Are you shitting me? Fuck no I’m not going to leave it be, that’s my shit!!
So, WIBTA if I called out my parents for their lack of discipline? I really don’t want to insult their parenting skills or anything, but this is too fucking much for me to handle.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
ykhxXIDQXL4GNNm0ew810I93sIcTCdu8
|
ap15ij
| null |
AITA the cops show up to my door every time I play music?
|
This is my first post so go easy on me. I live with my dad and we have a nice stereo system that goes through the whole house(he gets deals from his work on nice equipment). The music can get pretty loud but we try to keep it down but many of our neighbors like the music and ask us to turn it up. About a year ago we got a new neighbor behind us and she asked us to turn it down and we did, but now every time we turn it on a little the cops come and knock on the door. The cops have been really nice and all of them say they can’t even hear the music from the street and they just leave. She has called the cops on us about 20 times now and every time the cops don’t care and say they have to show up because it’s required. We don’t even play the music late . We stop about 6 ish and we rarely turn it on. On a Friday afternoon about 4 she called on me and I could barely hear it in the next room. I feel bad for having the cops come and waste their time. We don’t even use the outside speakers now to try to be nice and our houses aren’t that close.Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
JVjbXFnLNlWCxTv0Iq2qbYk9H5pbMNLv
|
a7r5eq
|
{
"description": "saying something while two people started getting busy in the same room I was trying to sleep in",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for saying something while two people started getting busy in the same room I was trying to sleep in?
|
This happened about 15 years ago. Me and a few classmates were on an overnight field trip to map a creek for a college geology class. There was a larger group of us but mainly it was me (guy), another dude, and a chick. We spent all day mapping the creek and after the day was over we all ate dinner and started drinking. The three of us snuck off and got baked like we always did.
Bedtime rolls around and we all start to head to our sleeping area. We all decided to sleep in the same cabin because we stay up later than everyone to party. About 10-15 min after lights out I hear some commotion in the bunk near me. I knew exactly what was going on because dude and chick had been flirting most of the day. There was giggling and loads of movement and this carried on for about 20 min. I guess they thought everyone was asleep. I finally knew where it all was leading and said in a clear voice, “Can you guys please keep it down?” At this point everything got quiet and no one said shit.
The next mornin I got that “you wrecked my chance” lecture from dude, but I was pretty indignant saying I didn’t want to hear them scrump. This is the point where i think I may be the asshole. I definitely didn’t want to hear dude and chick get busy anyway but I was also strongly attracted to the chick and was jealous it wasn’t me in her sleep in bag.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
sXsFG9MoWn04o95v7XhryHj1B7o992xe
|
aokjm1
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my mom for piercing my ears",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my mom for piercing my ears?
|
So my mom pierced my ears when I was about 5 or 6 months old. For the first 7 years of my life she made me wear studs in my ears non-stop. As soon as I had the choice I stopped wearing earrings because I wasn't much of a "girly girl" and I couldn't care less about putting little gems in my ear holes (I was a kid!).
I haven't worn earrings in 5 years and the holes are still there. I've been told that because I had them in for so long as a child that they will never close over. They're always itchy, red or inflamed. Recently I came to the realization that my mom made this permanent body changing desicion without my consent. The idea of that really bothered me because she's always presented herself as a massive feminist and is very vocal about it. When I confronted her she made a whole list of excuses; "I guess I vaccinated you without you consent too, huh?" And "I just wanted you to look cute in all your baby photos" and "I wanted to save you from the pain in the future". Honestly at this point it was so far in the past that I don't have a right to be pissed. But I am! AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 19
}
|
RIGHT
|
6TalC8xDDlAQdM9jf3w4xyGAUla4jv1I
|
awcu1f
|
{
"description": "making excuses to my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making excuses to my friend?
|
My best friend and I used to hang out every day, and we’d always hit the gym together and play video games, About 9 months ago he moved away and lives about an hour hour away. for a while we’d switch off going to the other’s place and hangout/hit the gym together every weekend. For the last few months I’ve been kinda sick of coming up, because it’s a whole day thing. The drive is long af (which I hate) And sometimes Im just not in the mood to hangout, but since he always comes up (I don’t even ask him to come most of the time, he just asks if he can) he guilts me into coming, or makes me feel really shitty for not coming. I admit I’m lazy af and I’d flake sometimes. But if I don’t come up he gets mad. I don’t like being straight up with him anymore because he does get mad. He got really mad at me one time, when I made up an excuse not to come which is understandable. (Ik not being honest is wrong and he deserves to be mad about it) but I told him why I’m not honest and he says he never gets mad. It’s like he genuinely thinks if I say I don’t want to come up, he’s cool with it, when he clearly isn’t. So now I don’t know what to do. When I’m in the mood to come up, I do, but if I’m not he guilts me to coming, or else he says I’m flaking and puts me down for it. He makes it a huge deal, when I never really thought it was. Am I the asshole for making excuses and not being honest with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
u2XAWmWENTEKsmUZhPfywYxwuoLiv6x5
|
b6e12z
|
{
"description": "going against an Airbnb host's wishes and booking their room",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA if I went against an Airbnb host's wishes and booked their room?
|
My boyfriend of 5 years (19M) and I (18F) are going on a cross-country (US) road trip this summer. I am dead set on this Airbnb in the perfect location in relation to our trip for an amazing price ($20-$30 less than a hotel).
The kicker is, they ask for no unmarried couples. Multiple times throughout the listing. Think, 6 times, even in places it shouldn't really be.
My boyfriend and I would never think of getting down and dirty in someone else's house, however, I understand it's a logical request from the religious couple renting the room, especially since we are strangers.
WIBTA if I book that room anyways, even though we are unmarried?
We would come up with an elaborate backstory and buy fake rings, maybe even take fake wedding pictures.
I could do without the room and just rent a hotel room instead, but we're really trying to be financially conscious as we're both college students.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
QsDwCHaQXBU1148bI02MvDCCI4IuVDGu
|
an0b01
| null |
AITA, mental health and discord servers.
|
Hey guys, there's something that's been plaguing me for a little while now.
Before we start this took place on a discord server I frequent, it's basically a bunch of friends with the closest being labelled "family" or rarely "best friends".
The server is public, we run a Hypixel guild in Minecraft and the server in question is our guild discord.
I am pretty quiet and often mute myself and unless we're playing a game that requires verbal communication I will normally not talk. Also, as most people on the server know, I am autistic. (Do with that as you will)
The person in question was not quite a regular but still was active enough that we know who he is.
The three that took part in this scene was myself, the dude in question and my friend.
The conversation went something like this, keeping in mind this is off by memory and I don't have the patience to scroll through the entire chat to find the story:
Dude: "I'm lonley..."
Me: "Well I'm here lol"
Dude: "ugh I hate life smh, feel like kmsing srsly"
Friend: "may I recommend the ol' toaster in the tub?"
Friend: "or a quick noose around the ceiling fan?"
Dude: "-friend name-, dude I am so in the mood rn."
Dude: "like actually gotta stop myself from doing it..."
Me: "go get some help mate, there are people who can help you..."
Dude: "no"
Me: "I'm trying to help -dude name-."
Dude: "you don't need to, you don't know anything."
Me: "do I need to? If you aren't gonna take my advice stop whining like a little bitch about it on discord."
The subject was changed pretty quickly after by an admin, my words were the last line before she stepped in.
I haven't talked to the dude since, I mean, I've seen him around but I haven't bothered to join vc with him.
My last words stick with me, I got so annoyed he was just ignoring my advice.
Was he venting though? Am I the asshole for telling him to get help? The situation was none of my business and I shouldn't have stepped in. But then again did I do the right thing? Was telling him to get help the right thing to do?
I want to know if I am the asshole here, I am so ashamed of my actions, even more so when typing them out now.
Good people of Reddit, please respond.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
uEJ5F3jYnevVDrqujc1396xQPEsdlTSF
|
aesj85
|
{
"description": "not wanting to drive, and plan, and budget",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to drive, and plan, and budget?
|
So me and my wife have talked about going out socially for day trips, events, alone time to places we never go. We kinda settled on one person picks the place, budgets, plans, one person drives and handles that stuff. Tonight, i mentioned how much i enjoyed going out the last couple weekends in a row. It releases my stress and tension from work and life. She agrees it was fun and we havent been on a strech like that for some time. I ask if she wants to day trip, go to her families bar for a couple drinks, or try something new we havent done before. We talked about a day trip to chicago, and catching a hockey game in 2 weeks when i have a a weekend off and im free. Shes happy about it, mentions she hasnt seen a hockey game in years, hasnt seen a Chicago area mall, it all sounds fun.
So i say, ok well i picked and planned it, so you gotta drive. She then brings up, the home team will be back in town at a later date, says she doesnt wanna drive to chicago i should, she hates highway driving, its not a fun idea anymore. Then she mentions we go out alot, we should wait for the local event so its special when we go out. So i say ok fine, im not doing all the leg work. Thats not what we agreed on. I say to blow off my stress or tension ill go shoot, or catch a movie. She comes back with, "why would i do that alone, thats bullshit, how come she's not good enough to go all of a sudden"? I remind her, she has mentioned it repeatedly she hates movie prices, and hates shooting. All wraps up with "its fine, im not in the mood to argue, love you, night".
Am i the asshole for not wanting to plan, drive, budget, ect.. and do all the logistics?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
WRONG
|
6UhLw8XeT0mXPqKkNxIqjEtiTvYq0rgL
|
b4jnql
|
{
"description": "reporting my Neighbor's Parked car",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I Reported My Neighbor's Parked Car?
|
I'm from the UK, and any vehicle that is parked on a public road must have a valid MOT as part of the law.
The parking situation on our street is pretty dire, and the neighbor has parked their car deliberately on this spot to guarantee that their partner can get another spot right outside of their home. Because of this, I need to park downhill, and more importantly out of the line of sight of my home, possibly invalidating my own insurance.
I noticed all of their tyres were flat and checked the tax and MOT status of the vehicle, and it turns out its MOT is invalid. This vehicle has remained here for a month without moving so it looks like they don't have any intent on moving it soon so others can use the spot or to renew their MOT. If I report them they could get a fine of up to £1000.
So, WIBTA if I reported this to the police?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
NJwXlbEFIkfTLA9Tp0x8bJJlCJOpSdcK
|
awfu4j
|
{
"description": "constantly getting my once friend to go away whenever I see her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for constantly getting my once friend to go away whenever i see her?
|
Ok, obviously needed context: my girlfriend and I were really good friends with this girl, whom for the sake of privacy I will call Karen. Anyways my girlfriend and Karen go way back and when she started dating me she spent less time with Karen and Karen and I ended up spending time together often whenever we saw each other and my girlfriend wasn’t there (for extra context, I saw her most at church and such and we both usually got there early) through the course of a few years Karen dated some guys, my best friend, an old friend of my girlfriend and I, and like three other dudes in the span of a year. We usually made jokes about until at some point she was texting me on my sisters phone while i was with my girlfriend elsewhere and we had started messing with each other, she said something about me not paying attention in lesions and then I said that at least I could keep a partner for over a month and that apparently sent her over the line, she later tried to get me in trouble for stuff, stopped talking to me, and then just stopped interacting with me and my girlfriend since about September. Since then I have learned that she apparently had a wet dream about stealing me away from girlfriend and then told her how she did it and what happened after, tried to kiss my girlfriend to “see what it was like” and said some personal stuff to my sister. That, my friends is a shit ton of context and probably the first time I actually wrote this down at all
Anyways, Karen just runs off whenever she sees me or hides behind her man of the week so whenever I see her with someone I know I’ll say Hi to them and then she’ll walk off, or not something I go out of my way to do but something I do nonetheless. Am I the asshole for making her go away? I mean, I do it in a kinda spiteful way, but is it justified?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
Z09ftbdxiI9SV2U05lPwIDQ0CBJl47cX
|
ba0c0p
|
{
"description": "getting off of an online game and leaving behind a new acquaintance of mine",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting off of an online game and leaving behind a new acquaintance of mine?
|
Okay so this is actually kind of a done deal, already a thing of the past at this point. My mind just like to drudge up the past when I'm bored so here I am dwelling on some random insignificant thing from my past lol
Now onto the actual thing that happened...
I was playing an online game and kind of bouncing around between different groups of people from day to day. I would typically play the game for about 8-12 hours out of the day unless I had something else going on that day, in which case I would cut my playtime short in order to take care of things IRL. In this particular case I had met this girl on the game and I was playing with her for (literally the second time ever so we didn't know each other well at all), along with 2 other people that I also didn't really know that well. So basically it was just a group of complete strangers playing with each other.
The confusing bit (for me) came when I had been on the game for about 3 hours and then I had to get off the game to take care of other things IRL. I told her and my 2 other friends that I had to get offline to take care of some things. Didn't think anything of it and nobody seemed to have any issues or anything which seemed normal to me.
Next day (or maybe a couple days later, can't remember for sure) I am getting on the game and I have an open spot in my lobby and I see her online. I send her a message asking if she's interested in joining and I got a reply something like "No, I'm busy right now. Even if I wasn't busy I would still tell you no though."
I was really shocked and confused by her response. It sounded very clearly to me like I had upset her and I had no clue why, so I asked. She told me that I abandoned her with a bunch of complete strangers. I apologized to her at the time but I couldn't help feeling that *she* was an absolute stranger to me and vice versa. We weren't in the middle of a match when I left or anything either. She would have literally had to accept another invite from them and then hit a "ready" button to continue playing with them because the game didn't carry over your party after each match.
So my question here is, would you feel like you got ditched after playing with an online acquaintance for 3 hours before they had to get offline? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NmlsUNGnFyKKNUsgsQLMC2B8Vr6wELZS
|
b0up8h
|
{
"description": "getting mad about/at my lacrosse team",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad about/at my lacrosse team?
|
So today I had a lacrosse game against a school who a friend of mine who I haven’t seen in a few years attended. During this game there were players who STARTED but lacked the proper fundamentals and didn’t do anything to fix it. They didn’t even take the time to show up early before games and practices to hit the wall and work on their passing. These players crippled several possessions, either by missing open catches and passes, or by staying completely still acting as dead weight. This ended up in us being absolutely embarrassed because of our loss, which isn’t a look I want to have around a friend who I finally saw after a few years.
Unrelated to the score of the game, our coach put in varsity players who were there to act as subs to supplement the low numbers of the JV squad. However they started and took over the play time for the JV team meaning less play time for the people who want to work their way to varsity and want to prove themselves such as me. Some of the varsity players also got extremely cocky because they were in a JV game and ended up causing turnovers because they tried to take on 3-4 people at the same time.
The whole situation pisses me off beyond belief, especially if the rest of our season plays out in a similar way. AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YYmInKqlasyBsT5BHMewO4NZs1utMpWv
|
axzcmq
|
{
"description": "not calling about my half-sister's sick mom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not calling about my half-sister's sick mom
|
So I have 2 half sisters, both of which my family fell out of contact with, 1 (sister A) because she was an addict and stole from me and my family, I was 10 at the time (25 now) and the other because she was envious of my dad getting to spend time with us, because both sister A and B had a rough childhood, my dad had them both by time he was 22, also a half-brother but he's not important in this. So our families reconciled about 4 or 5 years later and I've never really had a real relationship with either of them.
Sister A, I could shoot the shit with and talk about smoking or whatever but never had a solid sibling relationship. Sister B I've never had much conversation with, but I do have strong relationships with my nieces, each of them have a daughter and I do feel bad about not talking to them but not so much my sisters.
So their mom got sick last week and was explained to me by my dad that she could be placed in hospice. Today she passed and I called to give my condolences but my sister was pissed off and cussing me out, understandably I get it, her mom just died. The last piece is that we all live in the same small city, which is probably important in determining the final decision.
Now I just need to know AITA for not calling originally when my dad told me about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tbAtnEeEqLeDlhJ9FErWtB2IZ6RnOrWm
|
a19gvh
|
{
"description": "possibly being insensitive to employee's situation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for possibly being insensitive to employee’s situation?
|
I’ll try to summarize.
-Employee’s sister-in-law was in an accident at work.
-SIL is recovering well (conscious, eating, talking, etc.) at hospital (3 hours from work) with mom and employee’s wife at bedside.
-Employee is trying to justify missing work for two weeks because they have to take care of child while wife is at hospital with sister and mom.
My POV: Wife does not need to be at bedside 24/7 if sister is recovering well AND mom is there. Wife can take care of child as usual and call husband if something urgent comes up.
Side note, this company only grants sick days when verified by a doctor’s note, pre-approved vacation days, and emergency time for when an immediate family member is terminally ill/has died. Employee refuses to leave child w/ a nanny or friend. Does not appear to be looking for alternatives.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
tyEba7JWHdWIlBGv3bU7orqWls710D6u
|
aw4esb
|
{
"description": "getting into an argument with my gf and not picking her up",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for getting into an argument with my gf and not picking her up?
|
So it's 10pm on a Friday night here in Australia. I've been at work all day and then hung out with friends at the beach and finally dinner and a couple of beers before walking in the door at 9:45. My girlfriend, who lives by herself, is in the city with her girlfriends having dinner and drinks. I text her asking how the night is going and we have a quick back and forth about our night and then she sends "guess you're not going to pick me up". After a few minutes of sitting here in my underwear I decide to get dressed, pack an overnight bag and txt her I'm on my way. As I'm walking to the car, my gf calls and is clearly tipsy and asks where I am. I tell her that I'm getting into the car and she must hear the annoyed tone in my voice and asks whats wrong. I tell her that I didn't appreciate the way in which she asked me for a ride. She doesn't understand. I say that it was a rude way of asking me to come pick her up and in the future would she just ask nicely. If I said no then it comes across as 'no I don't want to pick you up' and if its a yes then I'm fine with being taken for granted. I tell her that I'm always more than happy to help her with anything she needs be it a ride, moving, a favour, money, cooking, whatever, just don't ever make me feel like I'm taken for granted. So we get into a bit of a back and forth but I'm not interested by now as she's a bit drunk and not apologizing, just doing the "I'm sorry if you feel that way" and "you missinterperated it" talk. Long story short, I park the car and go home and she gets a tram home. So, am I the asshole here? I don't feel like one but I've never not picked someone up let alone my girlfriend even if we've had a fight.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
p06BmLWV4YzHgvhk4WzqSlleivxcltp4
|
aj3z57
|
{
"description": "traveling while sick",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for traveling while sick?
|
A few days ago I had to travel to a conference for work. A day or two before that, I came down with a nasty chest cold that nearly laid me out completely. I had to decide whether to travel or not, and ultimately decided that I couldn't risk missing the conference since my job was paying for me to be there and my registration was nonrefundable. So, I went. Only to have my boyfriend call me a self-centered asshole.
​
My boyfriend claims that traveling while sick is one of the worst thing you can do. His reasoning is that I'd be potentially infecting multiple people, including some of the most vulnerable. He gave me a whole flowchart of infections, starting with the airport staff, people on the plane with me (including old people and children), hotel staff (including housekeeping staff, who probably don't get any paid time off), and food service staff anywhere I eat. He says that America's labor laws don't provide well enough for people making minimum wage to deal with infected people like me.
​
While I take his point that it sucks to get sick if you can't take time off, it seems ridiculous to quarantine myself because I have a cold. My argument was that people who work in the service industry (which I have in the past, btw) are exposed to all sorts of illnesses all the time. It's the nature of the job. And me not traveling doesn't fix our labor laws. It wasn't reasonable for me to lose out on the conference I was registered to go to, and possibly face consequences at work, just to be one fewer person with a cold in public spaces. Still, I can't help but picture some poor housekeeper who might potentially lose her job because I left used Kleenex in the hotel trash can.
​
So, am I the asshole for traveling while sick?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
FBL7JEwqk8YqA53tDu8opYL6DcaYiKiY
|
awjf4j
|
{
"description": "getting mad with people because they interrupt me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I get mad with people because they interrupt me?
|
I don't mean in every case, but when I'm eating, trying to sleep, in the toilet or working in something really important.
Like, why do they ask me to do things when I'm busy or taking time for myself. I don't go around people making them do things when they are eating, pushing them when they using the bathroom or anything like that.
I'm really respectful of people's feelings, time and personal space. And it turns out to be that I'm the bad person because I get mad because they are just a bunch of intruders.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Qc6cgjEjLVF6XNLo8pOj8qUYhkCDHa7I
|
aki8dg
| null |
AITA is my grandpa the asshole for killing the family pets?
|
So this is to settle a family debate of mine that STILL gets argued about to this day and is responsible for a lot of awkward holiday dinners.
​
Back in the distant past of the mid-seventies my Grandpa, who will hence forth be called Papa, used to have 2 English Bulldogs, Boudreaux and Thibodeaux (we're Cajun). He had gotten them when they were puppies and had them for seven years. They were his babies and he spoiled those dogs rotten. They loved him too and followed him everywhere. They were also super smart. He taught them to grab him beers from the fridge and get the mail and fetch his slippers etc. These dogs were also great around kids. They were very patient with my mom (who was a toddler at the time) and allowed her to climb on them and get in their face and mess with their food with no problems. Before the incident neither of the dogs had ever shown any sort or aggression with anybody. They didn't even roughhouse with each other.
​
So one day my grandma tells Papa that she's going to go run errands for a few hours and get her hair done (an ALL DAY sort of trip because she permed the shit out of her hair) and that she was gonna leave my 3yo mom with him. He says alright and brings her outside with him after a while so he can keep an eye on her while he's doing yard work on his 5 acre property. Of course Boudreaux and Thibodeaux come outside too to be around Papa. I will reiterate that these dogs had never hurt anybody before and that Papa had complete trust in them. Which is why he left my mom playing with them while he went around the back of the house to grab a wheelbarrow.
​
After spending a few minutes behind the house moving stuff to get the wheelbarrow out my Papa hears a bloodcurdling scream from my mom and he hauls his 5'6 ass around the side of the house. My mom is holding her face and there is blood everywhere. Papa looks at her cheek and when he saw it was a dog bite immediately picked up the closest dog and broke its neck. Then he grabbed the other one and broke its neck too.
​
My mom is absolutely LOSING it at this point and Papa picks her up and takes her to the hospital to get stitches. So here's the debate, was Papa the Asshole for killing those dogs .Nobody is sure exactly what happened but my mom said she remembers grabbing one of the bulldog's signature floppy jowls and lifting it up to look at his teeth like she had done a million times before and had never had an issue. He thinks he was justified because he didn't want them to get more aggressive and potentially kill someone. I agree with him.
​
My mom, grandma, and little sister all think he over-reacted and is a horrible person for outright killing them instead of giving them away. My uncle thinks he should've just killed the dog who bit her (he killed both because he couldn't tell who had, they both had blood around their faces)
​
So is Papa the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
YpvWfytWb5kR08MMqYNDva8S0XrYsuSc
|
9ziyk9
|
{
"description": "confronting my uncle on his awful behavior today",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for confronting my uncle on his awful behavior today
|
For context I am a lesbian, my girlfriend is half Japanese and my girlfriend and I have been together since beginning of high school in 2010. We live together and traveled for 3 hours to visit him qnd our other family for Thanksgiving. We don't see him often and he isn't the most awesome guy in the world but we have never had many problems. I do love him and try to be as nice as possible. He is super religious so you can already sort of see where this is going.
We did lunch at Golden Corral today. As you can imagine it was ridiculously busy. My girlfriend doesn't do well in packed places so she was pressed up against me in a small panic attack. I was holding her and quietly comforting her, rubbing her back and hugging her. My uncle sees this and in a disgusted voice tells us to stop the "indecent PDA". His face is contorted in a hideous look of disgust. I calmly tell him that she is having a minor panic attack due to her fear of large crowds and this is how she calms down. He "harumphs" and turns away, muttering something I didn't quite catch due to the noise level. I roll my eyes and continue comforting her.
The next incident occurred while getting my seat. He made snide remark about my choice of clothing (jeans, New Balance sneakers, a dull red shirt and zipper hoodie, black beanie) compared to his (he was dressed business casual). I asked why it matters because it's Golden Corral, not church. I admit I said it in not the nicest possible manner but I was still annoyed from before. He said it mattered because it's Thanksgiving and you need to dress up. I replied with "whatever".
Then, when we went to get our food he intentionally bumped me aside to get his first, cut our positkons and would grab tongs and scoopers before we could. He harassed my girlfriend and sister on their food choices. He said my girlfriend "could use meat on her bones". She has always suffered an eating problem and just looked down in shame. I told him to knock it off and then things went from bad to worse.
He made a racist remark about her heritage and I told him to go fuck himself. He exploded at me and said I'm just a stupid child (I'm 22) who dropped out of college to chase an anorexic Jap lesbian and probably wouldn't be struggling to live if I had stayed in the church. I am not struggling by any means. I work two jobs, yes, but me, my sister and brother, and my girlfriend are happy and stable. I dropped out for completely unrelated reasons.
I went apeshit. I had tried to put up with his shit for the sake of my family but I couldn't control myself anymore. I told him to go to hell, he doesn't know shit about me and my life. I called him a filthy sexist and racist. He called me petulant child and told me I would be the one in hell unless I repented of my "gayness". I demanded he apologize to my girlfriend for the awful things he said and he refused, claiming he would not apologize for the truth. My girlfriend ran outside in tears.
I slapped him. I called him the most disgusting and hateful person I ever met then I left to go after her.
My family is saying I ruined Thanksgiving now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
6SqUELZNTSaRnfJlj1pa0Cw5JbahcTwx
|
anpho4
|
{
"description": "calling down the thunder on an extraordinarily unhygienic roommate",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for calling down the thunder on an extraordinarily unhygienic roommate?
|
Back in 2015, I was living in graduate housing with four roommates.
It was a two storey house; four lived upstairs (including me) while another lived downstairs. My room was adjacent to the 2nd floor's bathroom, which means I could hear everything that was going on inside it (very important). If someone is taking a piss, I would hear. And if he didn't operate the bathroom sink afterwards, I would know. Importantly, I can also tell <i>who</i> is using the bathroom, based on the sounds of their footsteps. I know all this not because I'm a creep but because the soundproofing is that poor.
One of my roommates (let's call him Bruce) and I were not exactly on the best of terms. For example, we had sporadic disagreements about the division of chores. Make no mistake, there was no real antagonism between us, at least not until the incident I'm about to tell you.
One day, as I came back from school, I saw Bruce drinking from a large carton of chocolate milk in the kitchen. I immediately groaned in my head as I will be shortly subject to half an hour of audible diarrhea as he is most definitely lactose intolerant. I know this, because as explained above, I hear everything.
After going upstairs, I first stopped inside the bathroom before going to my room. I noted that there was no more toilet paper left. <i>Knowing that Bruce is certain to use the toilet imminently</i>, I nevertheless chose <i>not</i> to inform him about this shortage. Why? Because I bought and used my own rolls (remember, we couldn't agree on household responsibilities). That <i>their</i> toilet paper ran out was technically not my problem. It was their responsibility to ensure that their own toilet paper is consistently aplenty. I also didn't feel like talking to him.
Fast forward twenty minutes and my prophecy materialized. Bruce and all of his 6'4 frame stormed inside the bathroom. In the midst of his endeavor, I heard a loud "Shit!," followed by more cursing. Bruce realized that something was missing... To this day, I still don't know exactly how he managed, but he did stay longer than usual and ran the faucet a <i>long</i> time. After he had left, my curiosity got the better of me, which led me to investigate what he did in the bathroom...
To my astonishment and very much disgust, I found shit stains all over the toilet seat. My gut reaction was to call him out, so that he can clean it. However, I abstained myself from doing so; I wanted to spare him the embarrassment derived from the fact that he cannot use the toilet properly. My logic was that he would soon find out the mess he had left, and would promptly clean it like any adult would do. That day never happened (at least not as soon as it should have).
For five days, his creation was allowed to fester in impunity. For five days, he did not use that bathroom. As for the rest of us on that floor, we used the bathroom downstairs and took our showers at the gym. Never once did I divulge the identity of the culprit, but I did hope, on a daily basis, that he would finally clean after himself.
By the fifth day, I couldn't take it anymore. The stains on the toilet seat have literally crystallized. I stormed in his room and bluntly ordered him to clean his mess. He denied it, claiming that I have no evidence that he did. When I told him how I deducted that it was indeed him, he turned red angry. We went back and forth for an hour, levying insults at each other. Obviously, that didn't solve anything.
Later that night, while I was trying to sleep, he left a highly unsavory text in my phone about my mother. This further escalated our conflict, which almost led to a physical altercation between us. Another roommate was able to temporarily mediate our dispute, sending us both back into our room.
Fortunately, my lease was running out in three weeks or so. That being said, the following three weeks were quite awkward. We physically fought on more than one occasion and had to be held back by other roommates. The passive-aggressiveness was palpable.
Eventually, he did clean the toilet seat, but only because his girlfriend was coming over.
------
Anyways, I understand that I could have handled this situation much better. In fact, every time I recount this story to friends or family members, I get told that I could have been more diplomatic. I always reply that, while I could have been the bigger person and could have, at many points, diffused the conflict, I did not want to spare him of the consequences for acting so irresponsibly.
I'll take the ESH but damn **** him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
fLP6ruuPUW9HnFrJtu9Ax51tluKLFfqB
|
9yvfgd
|
{
"description": "not arranging his activities during our trip to my hometown",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not arranging his activities during our trip to my hometown?
|
We currently live in New York, and we're both visiting my hometown in a suburb 40 min drive from San Francisco for our Thanksgiving week. Since my family always holds a big Thanksgiving dinner and since he's been wanting to visit San Francisco, I decided I should invite him over for the dinner while he travels the city for a couple days. He didn't feel comfortable staying with me and my family for the entire trip (very understandable), so he grabbed an Airbnb near the city instead except for the Thursday night before we leave on Friday morning. Since I invited him to see San Francisco with me, I will be staying with him in his Airbnb until Wednesday.
While I took Monday the 19th off, I am working remotely and will be in front of the computer for the 20th and 21st until Thanksgiving. I didn't take the two days off because I very recently had a week and half off for a self vacation to Asia. I wanted to get work done, and I thought it would be appropriate to work and get off early to be with boyfriend.
We arrived on Monday night, drove around San Francisco night views, and had a very nice dinner at an Italian restaurant. Tuesday comes along, I'm working and he asks me to think of things to do while he grabs food / walking around the city by himself.
My trips back to California is never really vacation, and I usually spend time relaxing in a comfortable space. I meet people I'm still in touch with, eat food and get drinks with them, but I have never felt the need to actively explore town, find nice restaurants and just explore a place I sort of grew up in(I say sort of because I grew up in a suburb nearby). While I do enjoy doing that, I'd rather relax and stay at home. Meanwhile because this is a new place for my boyfriend, he wishes to get out and see things. I explained that I will be working from home but that he should totally get out and see the city. I walked him through some cute spots and nice sceneries around San Francisco, where to get good views, things he's like, etc. I didn't want to hold him back from doing what he wants to do, so I told him to go ahead without me because he personally enjoys vacations by himself as well.
It stresses me out that he's asking me to locate spots and things to do for him because I'm from near San Francisco. But the thing is that I left the area for an out of state college years back and I don't know the area like a true local. I only went into the city couple of times while growing up. He's upset because he feels he is almost wasting his time here because he doesn't know what to do, and that I should be more responsible for his time here because he's a guest since I invited him for my trip back home. Work has been extremely stressful lately, and I feel like I have family duties, boyfriend's needs, and work needs to tend to without caring for my stress.
Am I the asshole for being saying no to arranging his day plans?
TLDR: told my boyfriend to come to my hometown with me 3000 miles away from our home for Thanksgiving because he also mentioned he wanted to visit the city. I need to work and he's annoyed I'm not fully present with him during the trip
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
LhYAlS1lPFM6AvLYxoIAXxIVd5D7P1bh
|
axtgka
|
{
"description": "making someone leave the gym today",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making someone leave the gym today?
|
I was on incline barbell bench. In the middle of my set some guy walked up and took some weight plates off of the station. Naturally, this distracted me, but I let it slide because I was on warm up weight. Fast forward to my 3rd working set... the weight is pretty heavy for me. Around my last few reps, the same guy comes up to my station are begins to put the plates back onto the station. This irritated me because it made me lose focus.
I racked the bar and I said, “hey man, I don’t want to be an asshole, but please don’t touch the weights on my station when I’m in the middle of a set.”
His reply: “oh were you using those weights?”
I said no I wasn’t. But I reinforced the fact that it is distracting and against common gym etiquette. I also pointed out that the other 2 bench stations were unoccupied and had the same weights.
He looked upset, and left the gym shortly afterwards.
AITA for explaining gym etiquette?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9mciBFvRZ8pKlGwB0fqgY0i1PhGLONz0
|
b56ttf
|
{
"description": "hating billboards about first responders",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For hating billboards about first responders.
|
I'm on mobile so sorry in advance.
I'm sure a lot of you know about the huge fire that happened in Paradise, CA. If you don't, it basically wiped out the whole town and our local power company is to blame. Anyway, guess who lived there?
After living in hotels for a few months I was finally able to return to the area. I moved in with a family member who lived in the next town over, that was burned, but their neighborhood unaffected. Practically every billboard in town has some phrase on it mentioning first responders, most along the lines of
"Awesome moms/dads raise first responders"
"First responders, cause brave/super hero isn't a job title"
There's a few more that I hate equally as much. The issue I have is that, if your kid doesn't become a first responder, does that mean you aren't an awesome mom or dad? I may be overreacting a bit, but this Just bothers me so much.
Can I add that none of the billboards from whoever put those up say "thank you first responders." They all say stupid shit.
So, AITA for hating these signs?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Xf7amHGeJlCd9gVTH3NxolIQcARa60Hy
|
akkyil
|
{
"description": "not telling my partner that her brother assaulted my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not telling my partner that her brother assaulted my friend
|
Last year at a party my gf and I were throwing, her brother and a friend of mine started talking. They apparently hit it off somewhat, and went on a few dates briefly, before breaking it off somewhat unexpectedly.
I got the vibe that something off happened, but I just figured they had a bad date or lost interest or something, and didn’t give it much thought. Several months later, my friend tells me that she was sexually assaulted by my GF’s brother.
It’s been about three months since I learned, and I still haven’t told my girlfriend. On one hand, I don’t see what good it would do to tell her, all it would bring is stress and trouble. I don’t really even know if it’s my place TO tell her. On the other hand, we’ve been dating for several years and live together, and this is definitely the longest/biggest secret I’ve kept from her. And it feels weird to keep a secret like this, that’s about her own family.
I don’t know if I’ve done something wrong by not telling her, or if I should tell her now. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
eWB95enGyTOq0ecT0IdZVwlFwupEkqmu
|
azyji6
|
{
"description": "feeling uncomfortable around my friend who smokes cigarettes",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For feeling uncomfortable around my friend who smokes cigarettes?
|
She says she feels like I'm judging her every time she tries to smoke. I just kind of glance at the cigarette then look away. And honestly yeah, I feel like she shouldn't smoke, and she even knows how bad it is, but she says she just has it as a habit now and she can't change so I should just accept the way it is.
We kind of argued about who was in the wrong here and then she made me feel like an asshole for looking away because I don't like seeing people smoke.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
0f9W1gGJq7FoR6CncDaVmOfhfumQ7cCQ
|
b31kyf
|
{
"description": "calling my friend out for hypocrisy over the age difference in her relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA for calling my friend out for hypocrisy over the age difference in her relationship?
|
my friend is a 24 yr old bisexual female. over the past year, she has made comments about our other friend who is a 24 yr old male’s relationship with his now-21 yr old girlfriend. she has said it’s weird he’s dating a college student, especially because his girlfriend couldn’t even come with us to bars until a couple of months ago. i don’t really care one way or the other. personally i wouldn’t date a girl i can’t even buy a drink but we’re all adults here.
low and behold, my friend is now dating a girl the same age as our other friend’s girlfriend. i think she’s a hypocrite and want to call her out, but again it’s not really my business and neither of these relationships are my own. it just annoys me that she’s not judging her own actions by her own hateful logic and i think someone needs to set her straight. WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
llSnSuBnddpmYOqBId3G1dATIyZIGT6j
|
al4wkq
|
{
"description": "not wanting to let my friend roleplay the Archangel Raphael",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to let my friend roleplay the Archangel Raphael?
|
I do forum role play but due to several bad experiences on some of these sites with my friend, who is the person in question I may end up being the asshole with, We've restarted work on it. It's slow going because I have job searching but She's teaching so I'm really the only one who can do the majority of the framework.
This is relevant because her role will be lore. Angels exist in this setting but until we decided to have certain demons be fallen angels with amnesia we were avoiding it. Demons are one thing but, even with an MIA creator and several dieties in the setting, the angels would need to be connected in a way similar to a seer to the plot .
It made certain logical sense, therefore, to take on some archangels as half helping with the world half plot related. I commented how I was thinking about Raphael, who is one of my favorites, since she reminded me of a playby ( celebrity lookalike) that I connected to him and sort of outlined my idea for him.
She asked me why I wanted to play him then said, "If we're playing non-fallen as well to set up world building I'd prefer to play Raphael over any of the others." Citing cooler name after I mentioned he was one of my favorites.
Then went into her version for him. I commented he was a favorite but had not repeated this before her comment when she asked about it. I also have played the Archangel Gabriel before for a different concept site.
I commented her actions were really shitty when I just asked her what she thought of my character and the only reason I haven't hard noed her yet is because I know she thinks of these concepts in advance. Gets really excited too.
And pros to it. Not only is she the lore master but I am playing Asmodeus as a Fallen angel and he had an incident with Raphael. So there could be interaction if she played him. My Gabe is generally well liked by her and with his role he makes a certain amount of sense while the angel of healing would be more in tune with the world.
The cons are she didn't ask but kind of laughed at the concept first because she had a psychologist/psychiatrist character. She said "I prefer you..." and just laid down this without really respecting my feelings on the matter. There are other archangels and I picked Raphael, not even wanting to play Gabe for this site, so she could have picked another.
The worst though is she presented it in a matter of course way, like of course I should be all for It, that after three hours of shovelling I got a little snippy with her.
Am I the asshole if I just say No? Also feel free to comment I'm the asshole for getting a little annoyed with her, I plan to apologize for that part.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
pLMdZDmk4ye8EHB4abyhsR4GZk1sYhUh
|
adsgoi
|
{
"description": "telling someone shipping kids is gross when we are both underage ourselves",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For telling someone shipping kids is gross when we are both underage ourselves?
|
Someone I knew posted slightly nsfw pic of two underage anime characters and talked about how she shipped them. I felt it was really creepy shipping kids, so I told her it’s gross. After that, she got really mad and blocked me. The picture wasn’t full nsfw and we are both underage but I still think it’s kinda gross to ship people who are underage. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HEF1PcpbSZjfOXkY9MNVLe4r7TGDMAGT
|
awhabg
|
{
"description": "being pissed off",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being pissed off?
|
My friend and I had been out all day drinking, enjoying a rare day off work together.
In the evening, having been with each other since early afternoon, we are drinking in our work. One of our workmates is also there drinking, so he comes and joins us.
He and I get on really well, have a lot to talk about and it's relatively common knowledge that if our situations were different, that we would be into each other.
Being pretty drunk by this point and happily chatting away between the three of us, the girl gets up to go to the toilet and myself and my male colleague are asked to move tables so that our friend can clean where we were sitting.
We move and continue to chat, and the next thing I know is the girl I had spent the day has just left without saying bye.
I was confused and kinda hurt as to why she wouldn't say she was leaving.
I have since found out she left in a huff due to feeling like a 'third wheel', between myself and our male colleague.
It's important to point out both myself and the male colleague are in relationships, and although get on well, it is as friends.
She didn't speak to me for a week.
AITA for not really wanting much to do with her now?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
iwDBZwk0za8Q7jthqGDm4HYnYeLgBJ09
|
b4sz4q
|
{
"description": "cutting my girlfriends only friend off because he flirts with her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for cutting my girlfriends only friend off because he flirts with her?
|
This friend was her friend for a few months before we met and slowly became one of my friends as well. I always felt something was off but she assured me he never acted weird towards her. Come to find out, he had been flirting with her the whole time and she had been lying. She never reciprocated but we had a pretty big fight about her lying. I told her friend (and my friend now) to not come around here anymore for disrespecting our relationship. His excuse was that since she’s his best friend he had to be honest about his feelings. She now still wants to be his friend and thinks he’s a great person regardless of the fact that he disrespected us, and me, and did not even apologize or admit his mistake. He would obviously go and do it again. I feel bad because she misses her friend but at the same time I’m mad she still wants to be friends with someone like that. Lastly, I’m truly not concerned of her being interested in him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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}
|
WRONG
|
879IURqDyNv2aSWGVNbOHmWnyMbNLXZ4
|
ah2vfe
|
{
"description": "arguing with people in my acting group",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For arguing with people in my acting group?
|
Hello Reddit. I live in London where we have this thing called LAMDA, which I believe stands for London Academy of Music and the Dramatic Arts, and they essentially give people lessons on, in my case, acting, leading up to a performance of a piece in a group, pair or solo.
Our group of 6 (in which I am the lead role) are working on our grade 3 exam performance. Let me just establish that though this is a lower level exam, it is important as it allows us to pursue higher level exams which may lead to an easier time getting into certain universities when we are older.
Anyway, we have been working on the piece for a term now, but on the first session back from the Christmas Holidays, only two of us showed up: Me and a girl I will call... Amy. It turns out that this term the other girls decided netball training was more important and that they would just not come along. Me and Amy leave the lesson prematurely as we can't really do any of the scenes. We discuss how it's really annoying that these girls who took on big roles are not commited, but Amy has gotten stuck with just a couple of lines.
Anyway, I later see an email conversation between one of the girls and our teacher asking to change the time slot. That's right. Changing it to fit them when LAMDA was the commitment made first. So the next session, we spend half of our (fairly pricey) lesson discussing time slots and yet we can not agree on one. So, in a kinda angry tone, I say, "me and Amy also wanted to do netball, but you need to get your priorities straight. You can't just take a break when you don't even know your lines yet" then we all get in an argument about me being hypocritical because I don't want to change the time slot. Therefore we only got about 10/30 mins of our session.
AITA for getting angry?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
c0xPNQVKrsI23FeEA7FzPG67OGG7L08s
|
a7fmxi
|
{
"description": "feeling dismissed/ignored in conversations with my bf because he is a very imaginative person and is a lot in his head",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling dismissed/ignored in conversations with my bf because he is a very imaginative person and is a lot in his head?
|
So as the title says, he is very much in his head (note that we are LDR so most convos are via call). As a senario I'll say something, he'll hear what i said, get stuck just thinking about it, and end up not answering me or giving me a delayed reply (that can seem kinda ingenuine at times because he's so busy drifting in his head lol). I'll have to ask him again and wait for an answer. Other times he's lost in a video game or something else that catches his attention while talking to me.
Am i unreasonable for thinking that he could make a bit more of an effort to try and stay connected while we talk? I get that it's just how his mind works, and i love him to bits otherwise, but it gets quite frusrating when it happens almost every conversation and i feel kinda ignored ://
thanks beforehand :)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ah5crl
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{
"description": "asking my friend's bf to refund my travel as he only told me after I'd made some non-refundable bookings that he didn't want me to visit",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I ask my friend’s bf to refund my travel as he only told me after I’d made some non-refundable bookings that he didn’t want me to visit.
|
I’m from the UK, my friend is from the west coast of the US, and we’re both university students. I was super excited when I heard a few weeks ago that she’s visiting the UK and staying with her bf who I think is stationed at some kind of army camp, I’m not really sure. She’s staying with him, quite a long way from me, but a much closer distance than UK-west coast USA so I was psyched to visit them and meet this bf who I’ve heard a bit about but never met in person.
She’s only going to be in the UK for just over a week and her bf was concerned about them not getting enough couple time together, so I picked out a flight and then a train down to their city and the same back the next day, which meant I’d see her for less than 24 hours. She said that sounded great and I booked it, but even with student discounts and choosing all the cheapest options it cost me about £110 in all. I don’t know when I’ll next be able to afford going to the US so I figured it was worth it.
About two hours after I’ve paid for all the travel, she messages me saying that her bf still thinks <24 hours is still too much time, and asked if I’d be able to cancel. Because I’m a student, and therefore picked out the cheap options, my train will have a £10 cancellation fee and the airline website says no refunds at all, though I am going to ring in the morning to try my luck. I’m not hopeful though, and I think I might be at least £95 out of pocket for a failed trip. That’s easily a whole month’s worth of utility bills and food expenses for me, I was prepared to pay that much to see a good friend that I rarely get to spend time with, but I can’t go around dropping that on nothing.
I’m going to ring the airline in the morning and check if I could get a refund for the ticket but if I that doesn’t work out, WIBTA for asking for her bf to pay me back?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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la2Wi7CuODwG2xAKB8MMRxawdloEHImi
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az8jgl
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{
"description": "telling my friend he should return the gift he got me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friend he should return the gift he got me?
|
I've had some health issues lately, and a close friend of mine of almost 20 years got me a necklace with a gemstone that is supposedly red topaz, and what are supposedly a few diamonds.
The thing is, I generally don't wear jewelry...I have my reasons, and I made him very aware of this over the years. Jewelry is a waste of money to me and whatever jewelry anyone buys me literally just sits in a box in a drawer. He had not forgotten this, as he prefaced giving me the gift with "I know you said you don't wear jewelry but..."
To compound the issue, he got ripped off. The necklace did not look like it did in the photo. The stones are oddly set and the topaz is dyed and the dye is flaking off.
At first I tried to be gracious about this as to not hurt his feelings but after doing some research, I learned he paid $200. Not only was I annoyed that he got me a gift I had explicitly told him I had no interest in, I was now annoyed that he got ripped off and thought he should get his money back.
I tried to not say anything about it as I was trying to be gracious but as I looked at it more and more, the idea that he paid so much money for this really started to get to me so finally I told him he got ripped off and should return it, get his money back, and we could go to dinner or see a show with it or something.
He refused, so now I just have this thing sitting in a box collecting dust.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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aiijso
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{
"description": "expecting my dad to pay for our family vacation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for expecting my dad to pay for our family vacation?
|
This happened several years ago, but recent events have brought it back up.
A little backstory: my parents got divorced when I was younger, after which I didnt see my dad much resulting in a bit of a distant relationship, which I think contributes to my feelings in this story.
My dad got a nice tax refund after buying his home and he told my sister and I he wanted to take us on a vacation. Eventually, he decided on going to Disneyland. The trip was planned for right after I graduated high school. My dad planned the destination and made all the arrangements.
We ended up stopping in Vegas to see my cousin, which is where things started going down hill for me. I wanted to see the Beetles Cirque do Soleil bad enough to offer to pay for my own ticket (for this one specific thing), explaining I had some money saved up. He took this as "I got the rest of this trip for myself". From then I was expected to pay for everything on my own including attractions, food, and chipping in for gas.
This kind of bothered me, but the worst ended up being Disneyland. I paid for the ridicously expensive ticket and we were there for maybe 4 hours (which was maybe 3 rides and a churro) and ended up leaving, though my dad said we'd go back the next day. I was super upset because this was the part of the trip I was looking forward to the most and it was so expensive and we left so quickly. The next day my dad and sister decided they wanted to go to SeaWorld (I hate fish) and my dad got very mad because I was upset about it and said I could go (and purchase my own ticket) or stay at the sketchy hotel by myself all day.
What I had thought would be an amazing trip to bond with my dad became a pretty stressful time. I worried about all that money I hadnt planned on spending and felt pretty resentful.
To this day thinking about it still riles me up, but recently I started wonder if I was being an entitled teenager. My personal feelings about the relationship in general could be effecting how I feel about this.
So, am I the asshole for expecting that my dad should have paid for most of the trip?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a379k5
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{
"description": "parking in a fellow tenants spot",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for parking in a fellow tenants spot.
|
Recently damage my side view mirror on car. I live in a multi family apartment complex, and ask the building manager for help fixing it last night (we have s good report, he's very handy and has helped me on various other car projects.
We apoxy it back on and zip tie in place (ties go around the window), meaning I cant fully close the window. BM asks if I want to leave it in a spot in our complex instead of the street (my roommate leaves his broken down car in our spot so I have to always Street park). I ask if it's cool to take person X's spot, BM says it's fine for s temporary thing so it doesn't get broken into while the apoxy driee and that X never uses the spot much. I ask if I should move in the morning and BM suggests to leave it longer so apoxy can really seal before removing ties.
Fast forward to today, rain in forecast and I quickly have to cut the zips and roll up the window before leaving for bus to work. Leave the car not thinking it's an issue since BM told me it was fine. Get a call at work late afternoon saying person X is back, fuming, calling a truck to get my car towed. Wont listen to BM about situation. BM is pissed on the phone asking why I cut the ties this morning, that it could only be left there if it was in danger of being broken into with windows down, and that it's not his job to cover my ass. Try to explain about the rain and that he told me it was okay to leave it there for a bit, not having it, saying that what I did wasn't cool.
Rushing home now to try and talk to person X about this. Did I fuck up by not moving it this morning before rushing to work? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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b3gq1t
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{
"description": "dancing with my ex in front of my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for dancing with my ex in front of my girlfriend?
|
Saturday night, my school had a dance. I just recently started dating a girl, let's call her Taylor, 3 weeks ago. After we started dating, I asked her if she wanted to go fo the dance, and she said yes.
So, Saturday was the dance. And fyi, I love dancing with people. So, of course, I asked Taylor if she wanted to dance. What I found out was that she didn't like dancing, and she said no. I was kind of bummed by this. One of my friends, let's call her Anna, also was at the dance. We used to date a while back, but now we're just friends. She asked if I wanted to dance, because apparently the guy she was with didn't like dancing either. So I said yes, because dancing and having fun is kinda the whole reason I came to the dance. But when the dance ended, Taylor was pissed at me for dancing with Anna and asked me why I took her to a dance just to dance with Anna. I pointed out I asked her if she wanted to go to the dance, and she said yes, so I assumed you wanted to go to a school dance to, well, dance. I told her I was planning to dance with her, and even asked her, but she said no.
She called me a dick for dancing with Anna and said I should hang out with her the whole night. I pointed out if she wanted to hang out, we could stay at home. I didn't get dressed up and pay $10 to just hang out. She just stormed off, and she hasn't texted or talked to me since.
Am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
Hz5dW5xLNEARMtcs2ep77ugtPBnC55UC
|
b1011r
|
{
"description": "telling my parents that I didn't care about their opinion",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Telling my parents that I didn't care about their opinion.
|
A bit lengthy
2 years ago I went to a different school thats at least 1hr30mins away. At first I didn't think much about it because I went to a seminar saying it was an IB school that helps students be more prepared for college than majority of students. I heard many great things about the school and my parents ultimately decided that I would take the exam so that the school would chooses who gets in or not. I got in somehow, that was a shocker. During the 1st month of school I noticed red flags going off. It prided itself in a good environment, first week 3 fights went off. Didn't mind because IB students and regular students were separated. During that first month my French teacher said that only 1/3 of the students would graduate with a IB diploma or be lucky enough to get a certificate of some sort, he said that with pride. Soon as I got back home and said that I would like to be taken out because it sounded like bullshit. They said to just ride it out and see what happens. Big mistake, during the school year my sleep schedule got messed up badly, I had to wake up at 4am to get ready and wake my parents up because I wake up earlier than them for them to go to work. I'd be sleeping and class hardly anytime to do my work, with more homework stacked on top so I had to do it at home which I get back by 4:30pm. I stopped caring because it was too much for me. I did enough to barely pass but got kicked out because I underperformed. Parents were really disappointed because they bragged about me going to this school.
Now I'm in another regular highschool and doing well and they brought the school up, I said hell no. I wanted to live a normal life and play games while maintaining a healthy school life and not be over burdened with work. They seemed disappointed again and told them to just let me be a teenager for a while before being an adult. All they want from me is just to study harder and not focus on other things, so I told them to be quiet because I didn't want to hear it, also because I'm playing games . They went on and told me to never talk to them like that, I knew better than to say shut up because they would have grounded my ass. Now I feel bad because I want to make my parents happy but at the same time not be miserable all my life working. They still keep bringing the subject of going to a more prestige school. AITA for not considering their opinion?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
r4DXiJze85YxOZrH5J6xGw3QP2rrVl7E
|
9utxnn
|
{
"description": "lying about my religion to play in a church band",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for lying about my religion to play in a church band?
|
Long story short, I am a musician and I absolutely love playing for people. I have recently been playing with a church band that my cousin leads, and they are all great people that I enjoy spending time with. However, as part of being in this group, they told me it is important to be a Christian. I am not a Christian, but since I love playing music and spending time with these guys, I lied and told them that I am. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
RxZ31xplWeUWhFNwO4u1sptleKS1aWzB
|
anz66q
|
{
"description": "breaking up my LDR after meeting up for the first time and finding out about her lies",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for breaking up my LDR after meeting up for the first time and finding out about her lies?
|
First time poster, please excuse my formatting. Long post. TL:DR at the bottom.
Me (20m) and my ex (20f) have been in a long distance relationship (both Europeans) for 8 months after having met on a dating app.
We recently met up in real life after I had gathered enough funds for a trip to her country. I went to my hotel with her right after landing to unpack my lgggage. She began to start foreplay and asked me to woo-hoo to which I agreed after asking her if she was sure. She mentioned multiple times online that she wanted to save herself for her true love and therefore I asked her once again if she was sure and okay with it. She was.
During my stay I noticed she had lied about many things in her life, she lived in a different village, did not have many friends despite saying she's popular before and living wealthily whilst claiming to be poor amongst many more things.
Because of these and many other lies my love filter was removed and I started seeing another side of her. I told her I had to think about our future and ultimately decided I could not continue this relationship founded upon lies and her personality being so different in person compared to how she acts online and portraits herself.
She says I took advantage of her and some of my friends are siding with her as I had sex with her and now am dumping her just 3 weeks after.
AITA for taking someone's virginity (and losing my own) to someone who I end up breaking up with shortly after?
TL:DR broke up with my LDR girlfriend 3 weeks after meeting and taking her virginity because I feel her offline personality and lies were too big of an issue to continue our relationship.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
RPKxY8Hc7u8SRfyWIeyxCEutCywOqs6j
|
a8yix4
|
{
"description": "rejecting a Gift Due to a Phobia",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for Rejecting a Gift Due to a Phobia?
|
As some of my other posts state, I have kosmeophobia, a fear of jewlery. My family knows this. My extended family knows this. Many of my close friends know this.
My grandparents got me a necklace, one that they had to scrape up money for, even though I have told them, every year, twice a year, for my birthday and Christmas, to never ever get me jewlery. I have a fear or the stuff. They might as well be taking their money and putting it in the shredder.
Am I the asshole for telling them to return it? I made it clear I don't expect another gift in exchange, and that it's not personal, that it's my phobia and not them, but I still feel disrespected. They know about my phobia, and yet they spit in the face of my emotional wellbeing.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
tfmQHZzUPAC8kzF5QoZQPnhOuZO6LoE9
|
a1eh5i
|
{
"description": "removing a Group Member from a project",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For Removing a Group Member from a Project?
|
In my business class, we were assigned into groups of 5 to do a research paper due in a week with at least 10 sources. None of us in the group have met before, so we introduced each other and exchanged phone numbers to keep in contact. We then split up work in to 3 sections so we could maximize efficiency on getting this paper done.
This particular group member, I'll call Bob, was working on the same section as I was so he messaged me for help. I sent him a link to one of my articles telling him to find articles related to this one. He seemed to be doing well after that and then I got another text from him. He was wondering how he should take notes. I told him I like to write paragraphs as notes, but point form works too. I also reminded him to cite his sources using the APA format to avoid plagiarism. He thanked me and I did not here from him until an hour later where he asked if he could paraphrase. I informed him that paraphrasing was fine.
Our group met up the day before the project was due to put all the work together and make it sound smooth. Bob was in class during the time we were meeting up and we told him he could just send his notes and sources in by email. When we received his notes, we realized we had a huge problem in front of us; his notes were ALL paraphrases. To make matters worse, he only used the one source that I sent him as an example source that I was using. Our groups goal was for all of us to find 2 or more sources each so we would have enough. Since he used one I was using, we only had 8. Reading through his notes, I tried my best to fit it in my section, but his information was from some where else in the article I did not use.
While I'm trying to fit his work in, my other group members are scrambling to find 2 sources. Thankfully, they found 2 and they worked on extracting information from that. At the end, we could not fit his work into the paper. We all stared at each other wondering what to do until I broke the silence saying we should just not include his work in the project. Everyone nodded in agreement but a group member asked if we should include his name in the project when we hand it in? Since Bob submitted work that was not usable with no new sources, we decided to remove him from the project.
We told him the after we were finished that he was not included in the paper. Bob was pissed off with us saying if we would have told him to get more work, he could of gotten more research done.
He had 5 days to research and write about his section and he did not do it fully.
We spent 5 hours in the library completing the paper where it was supposed to be 1 hour max.
Reddit
AITA?
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
SQsPHPPmComQLvGF0FdcSWyhByd58dFD
|
a0cgen
|
{
"description": "inviting a broken up couple to dinner",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for inviting a broken up couple to dinner?
|
I have three close friends I met 9 years ago in my first year of University. Let's call them A, B, and C. The three of them have been friends since grade school and A and B started dated late High School before I met any of them and were together for the first 5 years I knew them. Then, 4 years ago they broke up. A now lives in a city a couple hours away, while B and C still live in the same city as me. At Thanksgiving dinner C got really drunk and tore into me about inviting A to things.
In particular he was referring to the fact A had come up for a wedding and crashed at my place. During that visit we made plans to go camping and invited B and C along with full disclosure A was going to be there. Because we all worked different hours we didn't arrive at the campsite together and shortly after A showed up, B got too awkward and left desite already drinking and us begging them to not drink and drive.
Basically C said it is a personal attack against B that I still invite A to stuff and B takes it really hard then he has to comfort them and it's selfish of me to expect A and B to attend events together. Also, if B were to do something dangerous and get hurt (drinking and driving) due to being upset about it, that it would be my fault.
I see where he is coming from but I have NEVER invited them to something without expressing the other has also been invited. I am hoping to have a New Year's dinner and wanted to invite both but now I am not sure? AITA for inviting both or WIBTA if I just invite one?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
IzkdBdkJA3BG9AOxp7KcIhQdHMyc6DQs
|
azjdge
|
{
"description": "being leaving my friends to deal with a shit situation",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being leaving my friends to deal with a shit situation.
|
For some context, almost every week I hang out with my best friend, we are both in a tight monetary situation atm but i care a bit less since I have a job and i'm not one to get anxious over money. When we hangout, i usually pay (food, drinks, weed, etc.) it ends up costing me around 30 to 40$ every time we chill.
Now for what happened, The past week has been my spring break, so I've gone out more than I usually do, as well as hang out with my bf more than we do. I also helped him out with a money situation earlier this week, so I ended spending around 150$ with/for him. Couple days ago, our group of friends went to a bar. As i usually do, I told my friend I'd pay. We got to the bar and decided to buy a 60oz tequila (26$) and split it 3 ways (BF, other friend and me) I ended up paying 20$. When we received the tequila, my BF immediatly poured himself a glass and chugged it. The other person and I served ourselves. He then served himself another glass before chugging it and repeating the action another time. I got annoyed at that for 3 reasons.
1) I was mad at myself for even paying for a tequila when i knew it wasn't the best idea.
2) He didn't pay and drank the most out of us.
3) After the third glass I made a comment like "He's not paying yet he's chugging the drinks one after another" and he dismissed it like it was nothing.
My friends parents live separated with "A" living pretty close to the designated drivers house and "B" living at a 30 min detour. He's currently at "B" so it was kind of a stretch to drive there and his phone was dead so he couldn't let his parent "A" know he was sleeping there. Normally he would've just slept at my house but the whole situation had me pretty upset and I didn't want him to sleep at my house. DD then dropped me off at my place and went the whole detour to drop him at "B".
I feel like an asshole because it would've cost me nothing to "shelter" him for the night. I refused because I feel like I stretch myself a lot to back him (paying for stuff and I was a bit salty about the money that I just gave away without thinking) and i wanted him to deal with his own shit, but I think that by doing that I just made my friends deal with the situation.
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
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gMduJgN3vlIt42GaZfELmb1ypVHqjGTl
|
abelio
| null |
AITA Girlfriend Ditched me on New Year’s Eve
|
So a little backstory, me and my girlfriend of 5 months are in our very early 20’s. She’s in between jobs so her phone has been off for the last 3 days and I haven’t really communicated with her since she was over at my house for 2 days before then.
She is very sweet to me most times and has been a very dutiful and good girlfriend that I’ve had no issues with until today where I just got white hot mad and was dropping F-bombs left and right.
So here’s the asshole part, it’s New Years even as I right this I’m at home doing nothing and drinking some shitty beer because I would feel embarrassed to go to any of my friends party’s and have to explain why my girl is at another one.
I texted my girlfriends roomate around 3 o’clock to determine what she wanted to do tonight and I got a pretty deadpan answer “like an I’m not sure” and I was like well perfect let’s go to dinner somewhere you like and we can go to some fat party and get trashed, a perfect New Year’s Eve.
I was wrong I guess...
So she gets on her Wi-Fi messaging hotspot her roomate set up, (if you don’t know what it is just temporary messaging to me) and I ask her once again what she wanted to do tonight, she just flat told me that her friend (let’s call her Jessica) Jessica wanted her to go to a party tonight and she wasn’t sure if I was wanting to do anything.
She said she was sorry for making plans without asking me about tonight which I didn’t think was a big deal, so I told her she didn’t need to apologize for making plans and shit I’m not some controlling asshole.
So let’s get some info about this Jessica because it’s kind of important
Jessica went to our local bar strip and met some people she was a little to trusting of literally 4 days earlier and was roofied and date raped. She did all the things your supposed to do obviously, rape kit, police report, ect.
So Jessica is going to a party and my girlfriend is going with her, and another mutual male friend between them that I trust but not really my friend.
So I ask her if she would like me to go? Really hoping she would say yes because I couldn’t fathom her being that vulnerable on blackout drunk day of the year.
She says yes if I would like to go which I am satisfied with that answer.
I also reiterate that I would feel better to be there considering Jessica’s recent events.
She gives me the whole I’m tough nobody’s gonna do nothing to me which I halfheartedly believe but not much.
I let her know that we should probably crash at Jessica’s place because it’s amateur night and people are drunk driving like crazy and it’s my luck to have some asshole ass blast me while I’m driving home.
She tells me that Jessica is having to many people crash at her house so I was like okay well I won’t drink then whatever I’ll get us home fuck it.
So let me just explain that I’ve been at work the entire time I’ve been talking to her, I move produce around in your local grocery store so nothing to demanding.
I’m about to get off work and I shoot her a text asking if she wants me to pick her up and we can go there together (she doesn’t have a car)
She says to me that I don’t have to pick her up and she will let me know when they are back at Jessica’s place but they won’t be back until after midnight.
At this point I’m like what? I thought we were all going to this party and coming back together from it?
She also says in the same sentence that we can always hang out tomorrow if it was too late for me?
At this point I get the hint that she really doesn’t want me going for whatever reason so I just resign to it.
I’m a little upset so I don’t text her back for about 30 minutes and I get another text from her asking me for a favor, and she asks me for 5 dollars to pitch in for the uber.
I’ve got a pretty good paying job so that’s yknow pocket change of course id give it to her no big deal.
I send her 10 dollars and just send her a message saying, “that’s fine babe I just don’t like that I’m not seeing you on New Years”
She sends me back “hahahaha sorry babe! I didn’t know if you’d want to, or be busy”
At this point I’m slightly irritated so I send her back kind of passive aggressively “yes I would be very busy on a holiday... definitely wouldn’t make time to see you”
She sends me some eye rolling emojis and tells me that it’s not like we made any plans!
And I mean the rest of the conversation is me and her back and forth passively aggressively toting the notion that I needed to make plans with her and me toting the notion that those plans are kind of already supposed to be assumed.
I kind of made the argument that if your my girlfriend in Highschool it’s not like I have to ask you to prom, it’s kinda just assumed that you will go to that event together.
So here’s the Tl;dr
AITA for assuming my girlfriend and I were spending New Year’s Eve together?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
WZW8vklLVBBrwFs1ZYkvlnRZTZuLIQIf
|
ajlgiv
|
{
"description": "being mad that my boyfriend is missing my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad that my boyfriend is missing my birthday?
|
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He’s a very talented musician. He was in a band when we met. About a year into our relationship he joined a different band that’s much more involved. They’re moderately successful. They usually tour April-September ish. honestly, it depends on the festival season and a ton of other stuff. Also, I live in Virginia because of him. I moved here about 5 and a half years ago to help my brother and his wife out with their baby. They’re military and got transferred elsewhere about 2 years ago. My boyfriend and his family are the only family I have on this coast. ALSO I’m a flight attendant based in Boston so I travel a lot and don’t have a traditional work environment to make friends. I don’t really have any friends in Virginia. My boyfriend and his family are literally all I have here.
Since college I’ve always been a bit weird about my birthday. My birthday was always over spring break so I never really got to celebrate it. I can honestly recount every single birthday I’ve had since I met my boyfriend. A few of them have been disappointing and we’ve had issues with it before. He knows it’s important to me and the last few years he’s really tried to make it special.
A couple weeks ago his band’s manager posted on their instagram that they were going to be playing at Savannah Stopover which is March 7th-8th. This was the first I’d heard of it and my birthday is the 5th. It’s at least a day’s drive down there so I asked him if he was going to be gone for my birthday. I just wanted to be prepared if he was. He said no he should be home, and that was the start of a couple weeks on the road so they probably wouldn’t be leaving until the 7th or the 6th at the very earliest. I asked him if he was sure and he said he was pretty sure.
This morning I brought it up again. He said he couldn’t imagine them leaving before the 6th and that he was pretty sure that was the start of the tour. I asked him point blank: “are you *really* not sure or do you know you’re going to be gone for my birthday and you just want to say?” He said “babe, I’m telling you what I know.”
I took that to heart and started planning my birthday this afternoon. I texted my best friend who lives in Boston (and is also a flight attendant) and asked her if she wanted to come visit for for my bday. She of course said yes. I said to her “all I want for my birthday is to go to brunch and then day-drink and watch movies at home with you, boyfriend, and the kitties.”
The band has been recording some new songs about 30 min away from here. He left not long after our conversation. When he got home this evening this is the conversation we had:
me: I invited *bff* to come down for my birthday, I hope that’s okay.
bf: oooh about that. We have a show.
me: excuse me? what? we just talked about this less than 12 hours ago.
bf: yeah *band manager* reminded me today. we talked about it over email a few months ago and I totally forgot I said it was fine.
me: what? you just said today you didn’t have any shows before savannah stopover. how did you not only forget this conversation but also forget that’s my birthday!?
bf: sorry if was over email a few weeks ago and I just didn’t notice.
me: seriously what the fuck I’ve asked you about this multiple times over the last few weeks.
bf: it wasn’t on purpose I didn’t even realize it was your birthday but even if I had I would have still said yes because it’s $1700 and we could use the money.
I was speechless at that. He tried to hug me and I told him to go to bed and he went upstairs. I’m downstairs drinking wine and stewing. My feelings are really hurt. He’s come down once since and didn’t say too much but suggested I could come to the show on my birthday and tried to hug me. I pushed him off and told him to go to bed.
Three years ago I went to New York for a show on my birthday and he didn’t tell anyone it was my birthday. It may as well have just been a regular day. I’m not trying to do that again. Not to mention the fact that we have cats now so if he’s gone and I go too then we have to get someone to take care of them.
I don’t know where to go from here. I’m really upset and my feelings are really hurt. I realize this is definitely a first world problem but he knows how I feel about my birthday and could have done so many things differently to not make me feel so shitty. I really don’t think I’m the asshole here but I want to make sure before I make a big thing of it. If I’m the asshole here I’ll try to accept it and stop being upset at him. I know not everyone cares about their birthdays the way I do.
Very interested in outside opinions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
qN7tIumF2ICJL8gX1JlDDQ62uEXbdSiD
|
b893ba
|
{
"description": "accusing an Ex of a crime that can't prove causing her to lose friends and trust",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for accusing an Ex of a crime that can't prove causing her to lose friends and trust?
|
I was in a 1.5 year long relationship with this girl who I will call "K". During this time we got serious super quickly and talked about our future together and what not.
One day I walked into her house that she shared with her sister and I heard them talking about trying meth for the first time. I thought they were joking and I told them I would like some too. Apparently K's sister learned how to make meth and wants to start cooking it and selling it. I told her she is a moron for getting into that and I am leaving before I get implicated on their future crimes. K told me she is wanting to get into it too because money is tight and this seemed like an easy way to make a lot of money in a short amount of time.
2 hours of arguing later, I told K that I can't be with a drug dealer. She called me closed minded and rude and threw me out.
2 weeks later I walk out to my car and my tires are slashed with "Fuck you cunt" sprayed on my door. There is only 2 people I could think of who would do this, so I posted on Facebook, tagging them both, with a pic of my car saying, "Thanks for the new decal cunts."
Everyone in my comments started saying they are shocked they would do this and now people are saying "I never liked her much anyway" and have been de-friending her or posting anti-K stuff themselves.
She now blames me for turning everyone she knows against them and claims they had nothing to do with it.
Am I the asshole for throwing them under the bus on an assumption?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
BAiMaaAEbJ8hGeA1w3jHnahLz93H4N0r
|
ajmpub
|
{
"description": "being upset my father wants to remarry behind the house my mother died in",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset my father wants to remarry behind the house my mother died in?
|
The story:
He's dating a VERY gold-digging, manipulative, emotionally abusive woman. This isn't just my opinion, it's the experience of me and all (three) of my siblings. Things never escalated when he was around but when he wasn't, which was often, all hell broke loose. We've all confronted him many times but he won't take off the rose colored glasses. It even got to the point where she would instigate physical fights with my little sister and tell my Dad that my sister came at her out of the blue.
We all just found out (by his mother, not him) that he plans to marry her in a few months in the backyard of the house that my mother and him bought and we were raised in. This is also the house my mother died in. The backyard was always her territory, as she was a gardener. Some of our best memories are there.
Am I the asshole for being pissed off about this? Or is he the asshole for even thinking that it would be okay?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
iDwnyxNw3CwCoF4dgSJCpN5kfG8BJpvD
|
a4r7uu
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with my ex if she dates someone I don't like",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to be friends with my ex if she dates someone I don't like?
|
The title is pretty tame but the truth is a lot more specific. 3 years ago I was dating someone for 6 years when she cheated on me and later went into surgery months later which changed her life.
We broke up but because of the love I had and the surgery I elected to try and be the bigger person and remain her friend and even try to mend the relationship. I went through depression and had anxiety for a few years because of what happened.
She insisted the guy she had met(cheated on me with) was an asshole, that it was a mistake and she had zero desire to ever see him again.
Fast forward a few years and I told her clearly I can't get over what happened so I won't be offended if she moved on with someone else, someone who can be there for her and all. That I'd even wait for her to find someone first because this isn't some scheme where I'm trying to hurt her feelings.
My only request as per the title was "I will be your friend as long as you go with anyone but that guy. I'm not saying you can't go with him but if you do I don't want to talk to you because of the drama surrounding it."
Immediately I was called an asshole and not a true friend. I was blasted by not only her but others for not being supportive. She claims that if she did go with him it would be because she hasn't been with anyone else besides me and him. She claimed as a friend I could not tell her who she could and could not date. I agree 10000% but that doesn't mean I have to be her friend in any circumstance...at least I don't think so.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to be involved in that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
BWarRo8EygCzHRra6wAzqP0lFsOgBw5S
|
as6d1v
|
{
"description": "driving favors",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA, driving favors
|
aita? every time i come up north to see my friends i constantly drive them to class and work and i get p good gas mileage but it stop me from being able to smoke and relax. i never rlly get gas money for it either :/ should i address it or something idk. i feel bad bc it’s winter
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7vYEnTEHzWI86zEXuPpmMlfPcfc1SVAJ
|
al7gcy
|
{
"description": "keeping expensive headphones that I didn't pay for",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for keeping expensive headphones that I didn't pay for?
|
I purchased a pair of expensive wireless headphones for my dad as a gift. I got them from a large electronic chain store and got two-day shipping. They gave me the shipping information and the (third-party) delivery company's name. The day comes and I'm waiting for the package, except something comes up to where I wasn't home or with cell service and I ended up missing the delivery. I thought they would leave the package but it turns out that they need a signature. I start panicking because I'm leaving town in two days to go home and visit my parents. I'm looking on the delivery company's website on how to get in touch with them. I try calling them and get no response. It's now around 6pm. I end up having to send an email/ fill out a concern/ question box on their website to tell them the situation.
I then think that maybe the package got delivered back to one of the chain's stores in my city. I end up calling their broad help number and giving them the confirmation number and they tell me that "Yes, they have the package." They then ask if I want it re-delivered back to me and I say "Yes". They redeliver it to me (with one day shipping) and send me new shipping info. About 30 minutes later, I get a call from the first delivery company and I explain the situation and they
(confused) say that they still have the package and that they can have one of their drivers drop it off after they finish their route. Confused and skeptical, but relieved, I say "Yes!" I finally get my package around 8:30 pm and it's the correct package. I'm happy but mentally exhausted from the day. I go online and try to cancel the other order but it says that it isn't processed yet and I can't. I'm thinking that since I signed for my package and that everything was done that maybe the other package would just be cancelled, but it wasn't.
The next morning I get a "It shipped" email and new shipping information for a different delivery company. Fast forward, I now have two expensive headphones (one I didn't pay for) that was shipped from Kentucky, not from one of the stores in my home city. I've asked friends and they say to keep it since a large electronic store probably wouldn't even care, but I kind of feel bad for keeping something I didn't pay for. So, WIBTA for keeping the headphones?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
hAEDUt3SzZnJ6mJMfv8zeZxpsnvcsRF3
|
agrqg4
|
{
"description": "taking too long in the shower",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking too long in the shower?
|
My brother has a huge mound of hair and it takes about an hour to dry. He always has to get in the shower on time for his hair to dry and I get in at a time that inconveniences his process. He always tells me to hurry up over and over, and I hurry up, but it still takes too long for his taste (it still dries in time so that he won’t go to bed wet, but it cuts close). But there’s another shower he can use with the same face wash, a body soap he’s used before and is comfortable using, and he can grab his own shampoo since we use different ones. I feel as if he can take the other shower and not hurry me, but he refuses and gets mad at me. So, AITA?
Tl;dr: my brother doesn’t want to use another shower so he hurries me up. I don’t want him to be mad at me, but I feel as if he’s being unreasonable.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
65rIExJLLJ0d7UACS6sXGgbhS3Yo2iBA
|
anyxq5
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate to shut the fuck up sometimes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I told my roommate to shut the fuck up sometimes?
|
So I'm in my second year of college and for the entirety of the first semester, my roommate and I got along well (I'm in a double -- one room, two beds, about the size of a parking spot). I wouldn't say we're really friends but in general we're friendly with each other.
However, as of late, he's honestly been REALLY pissing me off. The reason is because he's VERY often online gaming -- which I wouldn't mind -- but he's ALWAYS talking to his friends over voice chat. So my room is very rarely quiet. For context, I'd say he's on voice chat at least 3 hours a day, if not more (most I've seen is like 8). I have nothing against him or the games he plays or whatever but this behavior just REALLY pisses me off because it means my room is never quiet.
Obviously I can just put on headphones, but the room is small enough that I can still hear him if I don't blast the music (which I don't want to do for my ear's sake).
The other solution is of course just to go study somewhere else -- which is often what I end up doing. But this pisses me off because I have 2 extra monitors in my room which make me MUCH more productive; so whenever I have to leave my room for some quiet, I lose that extra productivity. He hasn't seemed to notice that I almost always leave when he gets online with his friend. I guess he doesn't notice that the I always take the trash out too, as he's never done it.
It just pisses me off. Honestly it makes me physically grind my teeth when I hear him start chatting with his friend, and once I think I punched my desk. I know that sounds like some stupid shit, I acknowledge that. But that's what happened.
To his credit, in all other respects he is a perfectly fine roommate. Relatively clean, quiet (*when he's not gaming*), pretty personable. I honestly don't hate him I just hate this behavior.
What should I do? I don't want to make my rooming situation any worse but honestly I think I'm gonna crack if I keep starting to work, only to find him starting to fucking talk again. I know it's his room too but I don't feel it's *that* unreasonable to want some fucking peace and quiet. It's not like I want him to not talk to his friends tho.
TL;DR: My roommate and I get along just fine, but it has REALLY been pissing me off lately that he keeps chatting online with his friends because it means my room is seldom quiet. I don't know if I should ask him to cut it out b/c he has a right to room too; but at the same time I'm probably going to snap if it keeps happening.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
ffrFaLGDP46Nh0uSExM4JNW6Trmxu3be
|
azq3w3
|
{
"description": "telling my brother to keep his opinion to himself",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for telling my brother to keep his opinion to himself?
|
So I went to see Captain Marvel on Friday with a friend of mine and my brother texted me after the movie was done to ask where I was.
I replied "I just finished seeing Captain Marvel with my friend. It was awesome!" he replies "I'd like it if Brie Larson wasn't in it".
So I gathered myself a bit and replied "I think this is something you should probably keep your opinion to yourself about for the time being seeing as i'm happy for having seen it and all" and I get "Ok" back from him.
That night when I get home he's sullen and slamming doors, I ask my parents if he's okay, did something happen, and no one can figure out what's wrong so finally I ask him if he's okay and he tells me "I'm just keeping my opinion to myself! If anyone wants to ask me anything, if anyone cares about MY opinion, they can ask from now on! I'm not gonna say nothing!".
And things further blew up after I told my Dad how the events unfolded and even showed him the texts and getting him involved made things worse because now my brother felt ganged up on.
The whole thing blew over but i'm left questioning my choices here because I really don't think what I said was that bad considering. I just didn't want my happiness after the movie to be dampened by a negative unprompted opinion on something I enjoyed.
AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
kW7n8JithF8F7LOCqHOe2YIo1mgStk8u
|
b8no9u
|
{
"description": "being upset with my carpet installers",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being upset with my carpet installers?
|
So yesterday we got new carpet installed in our house. I have no problem with how they installed the carpet at all, but I got upset when I saw them moving my furniture back.
&#x200B;
I will admit that I do not have high-quality furniture. Most of it is cheep plywood IKEA stuff, so you can't just drag it around, you have to lift it carefully or it will fall apart. To make matters worse I have made my bookcases more unstable by not adding the backing when I put them together because I like the look.
&#x200B;
When they were done, I saw them dragging my bookcases back- the whole thing was wobbling and banging into walls and several shelves fell down as this thing was yanked into place. When situating them in place, they also tried to argue with me about wedging some cardboard shims under the shelves to stabilize them more; they insisted they weren't needed and wouldn't do it.
&#x200B;
Then came my large reptile tank. I asked the guys if they would be more comfortable with me removing the snake from the tank before they move it as I realize some people are hinky about snakes. They declined, said it would be fine, and so I told them to just be careful. They pick it up, a guy on each side, and start SWAYING the whole tank back and forth. It was a mess, everything was displaced and my snake almost got crushed.
&#x200B;
I also see that a small plastic night light has been snapped in half and thrown on the floor. Again, I understand that it's cheep and I guess I should have unplugged it, but I did not think it would be in their way and if it was, I would think they would have the sense to unplug it or at least TELL me they had broke it an apologize. Several tacks that I had pinning tapestries to my wall had been ripped out as well.
&#x200B;
I go downstairs and start ranting to my mom about how upset I am. I just had to get some stuff off my chest and didn't mean to make something of it, but I guess they could hear me. One guy thinks I told them to stop working, so he's yelling at the other guy to stop everything, the other guy thinks I'm looking for something I lost, and they're both yelling about each other being a "fucking idiot." They also keep yelling at each other about what "set her off." I'm not prudish when it comes to cursing, I curse a lot, but I think it is extremely inappropriate to curse when you're at work.
&#x200B;
My parents say I overreacted and that they were ONLY here to install the carpet; moving furniture is not really their job and I shouldn't expect them to be careful with it. I say that moving furniture IS part of the job and they should be more professional around clients. I get that my furniture is cheep, but I think if they'd just used a LITTLE care they would been fine. The "set her off" comment really bothered me too; after that they treated me like some kind of hysterical woman, but my dad says I'm too sensitive.
&#x200B;
Thanks for reading this far, sorry for it getting so long! What do you think reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
0O5QRGsYz5ZidwWieBMSTh0brqcrFp1Q
|
afvhbv
|
{
"description": "sleeping with a woman my brother is interested in, even if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA If I slept with a woman my brother is interested in, even if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings ?
|
Please read fully before answering
So there's this woman we both know, she's actually a co worker. My brother visits work quite often so she got to know her. He got her number and they've been talking.
She's quite beautiful and I was also interested in her but I'm too shy. We've had conversations but I wouldn't say we're friends or anything like that.
Anyway, it turns out she just wants to be friends with him, or atleast that's what my brother told me. He said he tried but it was obvious she wasn't interested. Oh well.
A few days later I find out by another co worker that she's actually into me (she even told her that she was frustrated that my brother talked to her instead of me) which is a huuuge surprise. I'm not too popular with the ladies if my username didn't make that obvious so I really want to jump at this chance but my brother isn't just a family member, he's one of my best friends and I wouldn't want to hurt him. He made it pretty clear that nothing was gonna happen between them but I feel like maybe that's because of me. WIBTA ?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
VSjIT6pMXufHmLBOejT3uo72x0QijMue
|
adr3j0
|
{
"description": "wanting an explanation from a 6 year long friend who decided to cut me off as one of their New Years resolutions",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting an explanation from a 6 year long friend who decided to cut me off as one of their New Years Resolutions?
|
A friend of mine and i have been friends for 6 years. We had a long distance relationship one time 4 years ago and after not being able to handle the torture of an LDR and her cheating on me with her ex, i ended it. We decided to stay friends and have been for the past 4 years. Some times have been rocky but she’s always been very supportive and i believe i have returned the favor. She was a great friend to me but recently i saw her say on one of her social medias that as a NY resolution, she was cutting toxic people out of her life. I ignored it as i didn’t think i was toxic. Then i tried to contact her one night and found out i was blocked. Am i the asshole for being hurt and wanting at least some closure/a reason as to why i was cut off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
FatDLMDKFzbm7clNJPtPcjS53wd9VRfX
|
ao6w90
|
{
"description": "asking him to do more around the house",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked him to do more around the house?
|
First let me clarify that i don't think my fiance is an asshole here at all. I've mentioned this issue once in a situational sense, he isn't aware it's an ongoing problem for me.
My fiance and I live together, and he works quite a bit more than i do. I do more housework than he does voluntarily, it's only fair. My issue is that he often does pretty much nothing at all on his days off. Sometimes that's fine, as there are weeks he only gets one day off and works doubles the other 6 days. I don't expect anything when that happens.
I do have 3 day weekends, but every other weekend i have my son. On those days i don't do a lot of housework as I would much rather spend the time with my boy. (I still keep trash picked up and routine stuff like that.) On my off weekends i sometimes feel overwhelmed with everything there is to do. I also run a lot of the necessary errands, and I clean my dad's house on Sundays.
I guess what I'm wondering is, would i be an asshole if I insisted my fiance do a little more around the house on his days off? Only on weeks he has 2 days off, and not a ton. Mostly just helping keep things picked up, keeping up with the kitchen better (we take turns with dishes), and policing his own mess a little better. I haven't said anything yet because he really is a wonderful partner and i want to keep things fair. If that means sucking it up and doing it all myself then so be it.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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aoda5u
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{
"description": "yelling at my Professor",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For Yelling at my Professor?
|
So this happened about 1 month ago but I just became aware that I may have came off as an ass hat recently. I'm in my 6th year of university completing my undergrad due to some bad health conditions and other circumstances and during the first day of school about 1 month ago in one of my classes where there's about 25 people in the class the professor asks us to go around the room saying our name, major and what year you're in. I hate this shit but whatever when it comes to me I say my name, my major (business) and then say ahh who's keeping track of how long I'm here anyways. Gets a little laugh from the class and my prof is like haha no really how long have you been here for, I say this is my 6th year here and he asks why. I just say life happens and it took me for a ride, he then presses me again and asks why I'm taking so long to finish. At this point I was pretty annoyed because it was in front of the who class and I just said it's none of your fucking business why I'm taking this long. It got super awkward for a good 15 seconds and then he's like okkk moving on to the next person. I didn't think it was an asshole move to call him out like that because man its obvious I don't want to talk about it so get the hint.
&#x200B;
But today in class we were assigned groups for a project and a girl in my group told me after speaking to me for a bit that I should apologize to him because it was super dickish and I looked very much like an ass doing that.
&#x200B;
AITA for this?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "being intolerant of my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being intolerant of my family
|
Im going to get to the point here as i wanna hear an outside perspective. Sorry for skimpin on some details as i dont wanna be found out about
Im 17 and basically i dislike my parents because my mother cheated on my father when i was close to him. My father has lost tons of money because of cons i told him were cons or because he left a wad in public. My siblings arent the brightest one cant even do anything right like simple math and she thinks shes than i am. But at her age i was excelling at everything i dont think its dyscalcula or a similar disorder. My other sibling im okay with except they are overweight and i dont rag on her for being so until she calls me names. (This ones 13 the other is 9) My father thinks i should get a job to support my self because im old enough to? Im seen as lazy because i dont do anything at home at alllllll like ... at all. I have a decent gpa composed of As and Bs and prefer to chill before college where i gotta kms getting this 4.0. I got a summer job that was lax and paid well he complained it wasnt a real one and he didnt let me spend the money earned at all even tho i was gonna save half. So tell me reddit am i the asshole for not liking them?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "thinking my friend is ignoring me, and me calling them out for it",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I think my friend is ignoring me, and me calling them out for it
|
I'm at a bit of a wall at the moment, and I don't how to feel about this, I hate it. I want you guys to give me your opinion, because I can't give my own cuz I don't know what to think.
Bit of backstory. I met this person over the internet, and I've known/talked with her for almost 3 years now, and she really means alot to me. At one point, she was the only one I could openly talk to. This is the reason why I'm afraid I might lose her.
To the story. So I'm just late at night, playing some games and I see her online, and because no one else was online, I decided to ask her. She decline, said she was heading to bed. I thought nothing of it, but that was the last message she sent me for the next 9 days. I messaged her a couple of times in those days, but I never got an answer, not even to a simple "Hey, how are you doing?". I felt mortified, so I contacted her on other social medias, since discord was not working. I send her a message, asking why the ignoring and all that. All I wanted was a simple answer on 'why?', but she couldn't even give me that. 3 days go by and I get desperate. I send a message saying "Soooo... that's it? Nothing, ever again?" 24 hours go past, and I finally got a message. What it contained, broke my fucking heart. She hadn't answered to me because one of her relative had died and she had had a pretty horrible week. I hated myself in that very second I read that. I apologized to her so many times and and I felt SOOOO bad. Haven't heard from her for 3 weeks after that message. I'm feeling really depressed about this shit and I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry that this might not be more like AITA but a clusterfuck of my emotions, but I didn't any other place to post this. Thank you <3
|
HISTORICAL
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ah7hju
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"description": "telling the truth about my parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling the truth about my parents?
|
My family just moved down south for better job opportunities and weather.
The entire time I was in high school they promised to pay for my plane tickets to go see my friends and family up north if we moved.
My best friend of 6 years (let’s call him Jeff) asks me if I can fly up and see him I tell him I can. I tell my parents and they say they can pay for the flight.
My friend and I both worked out specific dates that work for us on our college breaks. We eventually nailed down a time. This is important because my friend has grandparents that are like family to me. We were going to drive 4 hours north of his house to see them at their lake house. They needed a specific time that we planned on going.
After locking in the dates, I gave my parents the information to purchase the tickets.
This is where it gets juicy. Dad claims he never once committed to paying for the plane tickets. And that I’m going to have to pay for them myself. I’m a poor college student. I literally can’t.
Mom says she never said it either. Though they had said that they would only three weeks before.
They tell me that it was rash of me to pick dates, and that I’m selfish for assuming they will pay for it. They tell me to call my friend and tell him that I can’t go because some family issues just came up.
I tell them that’s not going to happen.
I said in text “Yeah! I will call Jeff. And I’ll tell him I can’t because my parents are backing out on promises they have made to me for years.” I then said that I would call Jeff’s parents. His grandparents, and I would call all the close family friends I didn’t get to see and let them know why they won’t be seeing me.
But I said that before I do all of this, I will start a go fund me page and tag my parents in it, post it to My Facebook for all of their friends to see.
They then “Remembered” that they had said it and surprisingly enough, had $400 extra in cash just sitting in the bank 🤷🏼♂️ crazy coincidence right?
My mom told me it was “Disrespectful” to threaten that (the threats were not empty) and that I shouldn’t have argued.
What do you all think?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
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9volif
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{
"description": "muting this guy who randomly joins my discord call and does nothing productive whatsoever",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for muting this guy who randomly joins my discord call and does nothing productive whatsoever?
|
He joins and says nothing. He doesn't have a very good mic either and I can hear his keyboard SLAM with every press. He's playing warframe too while he's in the call. That's a very button intensive game. I'll sometimes be in a call with 3 or more people and I'll mute him because the sound is driving me crazy and he's not talking to me and the other people.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a82fdg
|
{
"description": "saying something stupid to a friend when I received her Christmas present",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I said something stupid to a friend when I received her Christmas present
|
Hi,
Today, a good friend of mine gave me a great Christmas gift. More than I was expecting, for sure, because my gift was insignificant compared to hers. Well, the thing is that while I was opening it, I saw she gave me jewelry, like three things, and I told her that was a lot. She insisted that it was OK, but I was still feeling bad about the whole situation. So, she tells me I can give one of those things to my mom or whoever I wanted, and all of a sudden my mouth talked without my brain's permission. I told her that was a good idea and that I'll give one to my SIL (because I remember I didn't have a present for her). Funny thing is that she knows I don't have a good relationship with my SIL and that she's a complete b.... We kept talking about the gift and she told me I could give it to anyone I want but I shouldn't give to someone I don't like. I felt like trash... She knows I've never had a good relationship with my SIL and I just can't believe my mouth said that without any thinking. I feel so bad....
AITA????
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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anzgw9
| null |
AITA My Now Ex Narcotics Anonymous Sponsor Dropped me as a Sponsee ... am I overreacting or was she 100% justified in her decision or am I just an ass?
|
I've been having I rough time.
Yesterday, my sponsor decided I wasn't worth her time and dropped me as a sponsee. & to make matters worse she dropped me over text instead of face to face or on the phone.
I put my trust into this person and she betrayed me. I came to her because I was having a difficult time with sobriety.
For context I have chronic pancreatitis and degenerative disc disease. I'm on subutex for this reason alone. To treat physical pain. I haven't abused the subutex at all & have 115 days of clean time.
Leading up to my sponsor dropping me I opened up to her regarding how I was feeling about being clean. I was 100% upfront about my feelings.
She then demanded I go to a specific meeting instead of enjoying the Superbowl with friends that I don't see often. Especially one of my friends who is dying of sickle cell. I really wanted to see her.
The original plan as I had told my sponsor before this encounter was to show up to the 1.5hrs meeting, but to leave early. My sponsor gave me a hard time about this and I ended up missing the meeting because I overslept. From there I missed 3 days of my daily check-ins because I wanted to consult with my therapist regarding my relationship with my sponsor.
I could clearly see missing the meeting had greatly upset her. This is the first time I didnt go to a meeting she wanted me at and this was the first time I missed our phone check-in's for more than 24hrs. I still kept up with my other daily tasks like sending her my gratitude list.
& she has canceled on me roughly 3 times over the last 5 weeks to go over my finished step #1. So, it isn't like I'm missing meetings left and right and not calling or caring. Quite the opposite.
The second things got hard, she ditched me in a time of need.
Anyway, here is our conversation... am I out of line? Or delusional about things? Let me know....
[https://imgur.com/a/rb1o3Vn](https://imgur.com/a/rb1o3Vn)
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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aj7hpa
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{
"description": "flaking on a dance",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for flaking on a dance?
|
So this could get long, but background: I’m 15f, as are my friends. Hope we don’t seem too ridiculous.
Basically, our school has a big dance every year at this time. Last year I went, had no friends there with me (that is important), and it was an overall incredibly depressing experience. The reason it’s important my friends didn’t go is because I asked them to go. For weeks. I bought a ticket, and my family ended up making me go anyway. Afterwards, my friends didn’t apologize until i explained and prompted them, and then they said I should have really forced them to buy tickets and reminded them more.
Back in current time, it has come around yet again and one of my friends has really been rallying us to go. I wasn’t too interested in going in the first place, but I did say I would go because she seemed really excited. To prepare, I asked the guy I really liked to go as my date. Long story short for that, there was a massive misunderstanding and he has a girlfriend and I canceled it due to my intention of it being a legitimate date. However, that left me quite sad and dateless.
I really made my mind up that there is no way in hell I’m going, and once I told my friends, they got quite angry about it.
It is definitely my fault for not telling them earlier or warning them. I also said it in a way that came off really aggressive and bitchy, and I’ve apologized for both of those things at this point. One of them got really guilt trippy over the whole thing because she doesn’t have a date and will probably be lonely (she’s very quiet and introverted). Even after knowing I won’t be attending, she has bought a ticket and continues to be a bit touchy about it.
AITA for changing my mind, for the ways I’ve tried to handle the situation, or for not wanting to go?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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4P0O0tSpjDc3tAIciXGJ9aZgV7LCc21Z
|
aren3x
|
{
"description": "blowing my nose on the paper napkin in a cafe/restaurant and discarding it on my plate with the waste food",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I blow my nose on the paper napkin in a cafe/restaurant and discard it on my plate with the waste food?
|
I have done this a few times without thinking but more recently thought that it might be a gross asshole-y thing to force the waiting staff to touch a snotty napkin which I should just throw away myself.
I waitressed a lot in my 20s and wouldn't have cared - everything that comes back on the plate is someone else's waste and it's all going in the bin anyway. But AITA for doing this?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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b2aht9
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{
"description": "lying and saying a dog had been killed",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I lied and said a dog had been killed?
|
Throwaway for... ya know
So a dog showed up a few weeks ago and we really didn’t think anything of it. People are always dropping dogs off in the country and they find a decent home with us. There are already 7 dogs here, all large mixed breed since we lost the pug to cancer a few years back. This “new dog” (hasn’t earned his name yet) is the sweetest pup ever. Probably 2-3 years old, solid white, moved into the house like he’d always lived here. He’s a bit on the smaller side but the other dogs treat him like he’s just as big as his personality. They love him, we love him, it’s been a determinably good time having him around.
Down to the problem.
We heard recently from a neighbor that a “friend” had been in the area, we’ll call her “S” for Suspicious. Now our family and friends are close with S and her mother “B” for bigmouth.
S had come to visit B but had experienced car trouble along the trip and required B to pick her up. This is important later.
So the neighbor said S had visited at almost exactly the same time the dog appeared. And B knew from family connections that we had a number of wayward curs. It’s possible that B has informed S of our willingness to take in abandoned dogs. B had also talked to us a few times about S’s dogs, often mentioning neglect. But none of these things really came together until the neighbor mentioned S had been in the area when the dog showed up.
We talked to B and she acted almost overly surprised. We just mentioned that a dog had come up a few weeks back and she acted like she’d never heard of such a thing. So my thinking is, she picked up S and the dog, and knowingly dropped the dog off nearby.
Under this assumption, would we be the assholes if we told B that the dog had started a fight and been killed by the other, much larger dogs? Since B already knows the dog is here and happy, we worry S might try dropping off more dogs and we can’t feed and house all the dogs in the world. If both of them thought this sweet pup had met a horrible demise, they might not be so quick to just drop off dogs without even asking us if we’d care for them.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b4zjq3
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{
"description": "fucking with a kid who messed with me during a wedding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for fucking with a kid who messed with me during a wedding?
|
AITA in the situation below?
I was at a wedding recently of a good friend, and one of the bridesmaid had a like 7 year old who was fucking with me. He would make laps around the building come around and hit me in the shoulder or try to fake slap me.
After the 3rd time I kinda was tired of it, so I tried to get him back. I started calmy by simply dodging em, but after 7 or 8 more times I would toss a pack of butter or something his way when I saw em. Others were recommended I trip him which I am the asshole there cause I did attempt it once.
The mom was nowhere to be found and I was drunk(not an excuse I know) however I started gaining his trust after this to play the longer con. I went back and forth dodging the shit, then at the end he came up in good spirits and tried to high five me. I pulled the too slow card on him and watched his life disappear from him.
I corrected it in the end, and high fived the little shit, but after 24 times of his laps I was kinda tired.
Am I an asshole in that moment for going back and forth? The wedding was already dead at this point so we weren't interrupting shit. Just curios.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
9w6q4q
|
{
"description": "telling my friend he sounds very racist",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my friend he sounds very racist?
|
This happened about two nights ago.
Basically some of my best friends and my girlfriend go to happy hour and we get a little tipsy. We’re catching up on what happened during the week and I asked if they had voted. One of my friends is a Republican but he doesn’t vote or really stay in the know with current politics at all. So when I bring voting up, naturally we all start getting into politics...
From this point on I would like to clarify a few things. I’d like to call myself independent but definitely leaning left. Also, I’m a pretty blunt person or so I have been told. Furthermore, while in the midst of this convo I am probably over .08 and whatever small filter I had is gone. (Side Note: HopDoddy happy hour is actually the best happy hour in the US. 5 dollars for a margarita with a coronita bottle in it. I had 2.)
So to go on, I’m mildly drunk at this point and am just hating on the US govt entirely, but you know, it’s just so easy to bag on our current administration so I do that too. My friend who is Republican is actually agreeing with lots of the points that I am making. Nice.
So I ask him, “So, right now you’d call yourself Republican?” He says, “Yes.” I ask, “Why?”
He goes on to tell me he just doesn’t like some of the lefts policies. He says he is very anti-abortion except in very severe circumstances.
Yada yada yada tells me the whole thing most Christians say on why they are Republican. Then he says he doesn’t like Affirmative Action. I say totally understandable there are some cons coming out of it that I too can see. Though, I question it furthermore. I think at this point we actually just start bickering about systematic racism while still somehow talking about Affirmative Action. (He believes there is no systematic racism at all, and that he could almost say that POC are starting to have a slight advantage, especially when talking about university applications.) I tell him okay the university thing is fair a critique. Then I go on about how POC get overlooked when it comes to jobs all the time still simply because of their name. Then I give him a hypothetical.
I say, “Imagine Steve and Sharkeisha apply for a job with both basically the same background and credentials, who do you think people would hire?”
He says, “Well logically, Id hire Steve because someone named Sharkeisha doesn’t seem like someone you can take seriously.”
Very bluntly I tell him, “You sound so racist right now. And that’s the reason Affirmative Action exists.”
Basically everyone in our group goes quiet and he kinda laughs and says he’s getting a phone call and steps out of the restaurant for a few minutes. When he comes back I do not apologize, but I change the subject and we leave the restaurant and actually go back to his house and have a pretty good night after that.
Thinking about it now though I don’t feel good about what I said and am definitely feeling like a asshole. AITA?
Also on mobile so formatting is probably messed up.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
L9DVeSSVhCSpblsv83o62TlWfB9BqT2g
|
ah9ft1
|
{
"description": "feeling like my friend is wiping out my sexuality",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for feeling like my friend is wiping out my sexuality?
|
So, context.
I am a bi woman in a heterosexual relasionship. My best friend which I live with recently discovered she too was bi, and started dating a lovley woman. She still claims to be attracted to both men and women and therefore to me is bi.
My problem arises as she refuses to identify that way, saying she's gay - I normally wouldn't have a problem with this as you are who you are and identify how you identify, however since this she's been acting like I'm not bi because I'm in a hetro relasionship currently. It also doesn't help that her new girlfriend keeps making jokes about how my 'heterosexuality makes her feel sick' ie making the joke that most commonly people say that to people in homosexual relasionships.
So AITA for wanting her to for wanting her to not see being bi as a bad/lesser thing than being gay?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
XdxefVAnnNszWXQ4n33BcM630jccm50l
|
ba1g1p
|
{
"description": "getting cut early before servers who came 15 mins before me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting cut early before servers who came 15 mins before me
|
Work for Red Lobster and pretty much closes every night.
Tonight one of my coworkers got mad at me for "having" him close.
Manager asked me to take a table way outside of my section, got pissed as to why they were sat in a closed section but said yes anyway, as i was walking towards the section the manager called me after noticing that i only had one table. He asked how far along are they with their meal, i said they're already eating. Then and there he decided to cut me and make the other server keep the table. Moments later the server who i considered a friend tells me angrily "Thanks for making me close".
Tried talking to him explaining basically the breakdown of what happened but he wasn't having any and is just mad at me and now is going all over the restaurant trying to badmouth me. Also overheard him saying how he wasn't gonna help me next time i ask for a favor and shit, which isn't a big deal, except he lives with 5/6 other servers who work there and it might affect my work relationships.
Went home mad because if there's anything that gets my gear going it's when people question my work ethic.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
LtQhLZH2KTix0Z0YZ8FOO13bslPaP7Jc
|
as4keh
|
{
"description": "not trying to be less intimidating at work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not trying to be less intimidating at work?
|
I work in a very cutthroat industry and people routinely use whatever gifts the have to get ahead: charm, sex appeal/flirting, knowledge, etc. Backstabbing happens often enough that it's expected even if it's not condoned. Now, I'd rather a meritocracy but that's not where I find myself. What I lack in charm, I make up for in a very high degree of competence (always exceeding my revenue targets), physical presence/physique/height, and a certain "je ne sais quoi" that most veterans have.
I've recently been told that I'm too intimidating by a colleague (who happens to constantly flirt with the male partners). I know I'm more aggressive in tone at work than I am normally - but until I develop the charm that some of the folks have who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth - I feel like I have to use the tools I have.
Side note - is there some sort class on charm and suave that rich kids get in expensive universities that state school kids miss out on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
bKOOTIMWCrJO0JoDsP8q8iHNSdO14miK
|
anhgzv
|
{
"description": "thinking that a subreddit elder was upset with me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking that a subreddit Elder was upset with me?
|
I was on this subreddit for a game I like, here's a link to my post that made people upset:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/starbound/comments/amrt2h/state\_of\_the\_game/](https://www.reddit.com/r/starbound/comments/amrt2h/state_of_the_game/)
&#x200B;
What happened, is that I haven't played the game in a while, mainly because it had an update that really screwed with my emersion, basically, it made various biomes that were usually, and righteously, (to me) exclusive to only spawn on planets that suit them, this means no snow-biomes on a volcanic planet, no lush oasis's on a post-apocalyptic ruin planet (also know as a scorch planet) now, I was thinking of hopping into this game again, but I wanted to know if the addition that made we lose interest was ever addressed or not, that was when I made the post you see above, the answer I got on this post was a very large, and long post of the entire change-log of the most recent update, of which I had already read, I thought that the person who had posted it was upset with me, because it seemed odd to me to post the ENTIRE change-log right there, instead of just typing up a response to my question, this was when I said, "Woah...damn, how bored, or pissed off are you?"
To which, the Subreddit Elder said, "I'm not either. This is a question that's asked so often that I've had this exact thing on standby, formatting and all, for a while. It's trivial to add to it whenever there's an update, and just copy-and-paste it when someone asks about the state of the game."
I had no problem with that. We both kept on having a peaceful conversation, and although we were disagreeing on the fact that the game feature that I didn't like was good or not, we weren't insulting each other or anything, everything felt good, until two other subreddit member said this, "This is really how you respond when someone gives you an informative, comprehensive answer to your question? I know I'm not your mom, but seriously kid, get some manners."
...I mean, we both had moved on from my original response, but this did make me feel bad.
"Also, nobody talks to (Name of Subreddit Elder) like that while we stand by. (Name of Subreddit Elder) has been here for us practically since the inception of this subreddit. Probably the most statistically helpful one on here."
I decided to remove the name of the guy I apparently terribly disrespected just in case any if his friends are here to stand up for him in a bias way, if it helps my case at all, I did post an apology to these people,
"Uh, I meant no offence, I really thought that linking the entire change-log was due to repeatedly being asked this, and he was upset with me, I didn't know he was just giving me the change-log, I guess I shouldn't assume the worst of people all the time, I am very sorry."
So, what I want to know is, was I really acting that mean with context, or were they just acting a bit sensitive due to how much they respect this guy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
a5uyqNKfqDHDE1WidEODmSWzG6mWUQv4
|
al4s9b
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to text me before she calls me on FaceTime",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to text me before she calls me on FaceTime
|
Situation is I text my girlfriend 24/7 and throughout the day she will randomly call me but I hate being on FaceTime for long periods of time because I like doing my own thing. I tell her this constantly and she will continually randomly call me and get mad when I get mad about it. I know it’s small but I just hate it because I know she’s calling me and we’ll be on the phone for like an hour or two, and whenever I try to cut it off after 3-4 minutes of us just being on the phone with no real reason she ignores me saying goodbye and starts a random new conversation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PPDcr5t9uR6Qe7ob9JbddYIU5c90GQyH
|
ayv6og
| null |
WIBTA: Interview Feedback after Not Receiving Job
|
My wife works for a Fortune 500 company. I do a similar job for a non-profit. I like where I work, but the difference in our paychecks is substantial. She said I would be a great fit for the company due to my degree and experience. Her company advertises a great referral program and often hires folks keeping onto overhead projects to make sure that they have good candidates when specific projects come up. One of my spouse's friends is in the hiring department so he arranged an interview.
I had a phone interview with **Diane** and got a follow-up a week and a half later. \[I know these things take time.\] Another week passes before **Diane** schedules an in-person interview, where I will meet three different people: **Tim**, **Doug**, and **Nancy**.
When I arrive, I am taken to a windowless conference room and ask me to wait for **Tim**. Turns out, **Tim** didn't even know about the interview, so after a half hour of waiting, he dialed in to talk about my candidacy. If their job was to see how I handled being thrown a curve ball, I thought I did okay. But two-thirds through the phone call, **Doug** came in. I'm talking to **Tim** on the phone while introducing and shaking hands with **Doug**. I finish my thought with **Tim** and was asked by **Doug** to repeat everything.
**Nancy** comes in when **Tim** hangs up, and so I rehash everything again to both **Doug** and **Nancy**.
I leave the interview less confident than any interview I have ever had, but I heard from **Diane** that the team liked me and would let me know within a week.
A week passed, and I did not hear anything. During the second week, my spouse got sick and I took her to the hospital. **Doug** texted me late in the evening to see how things were going--making a point of saying he took my number off of my resume.
Shortly after, I followed up with **Diane** to reiterate my interest and thank her for helping with the consideration. A full week later, **Diane** finally emailed back and saying they were still reviewing.
It has been over a month since the in-person interviews, and today I got an e-mail from **Diane** with the subject line: "Interview Feedback." Standard rejection email. I hadn't gotten the job.
The thing is, I actually want to give them feedback. I don't feel like I am owed the job by any means, but between **Diane**'s lapses responding to e-mail inquiries, **Tim**'s *absence from the interview*, and the weird scenario **Doug** texting me about my home life, I feel like the process was a poor reflection on the company.
I had resigned myself to not getting the job long before the final notice, but I do feel like they lost out on a great candidate due to their own bumbling. If I respond with something contrite, like, "Thanks for letting me know. For the benefit of future candidates, I did want to discuss a few uncomfortable situations during the interviewing process...," would I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
01e4uaQAd1UNeTXx036rI5OX6H00YYdN
|
ann85p
| null |
AITA for anger to this guy?
|
In the greenhouse we are discussing the problem of pressing the drive far away from a TV. This person's word is difficult to press the fastest speed, so I'm not crazy anymore, so I've been able to do so. They speak to abusive speakers who can do this and I have been hurt for the purpose of GUESS WHAT!! HOW TO REMEMBER HERE! This man's ignorance and ignorance has embarrassed me. So I'm sorry "What are you talking about? I'm talking to a bad person!" And I've been talking about how much peace I have had after him. Since things calmed down, I felt as though I may have been too harsh. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
5xiuip8Rr9RKHoMi6Rfr3tRdLiyt6Msr
|
awpqjb
|
{
"description": "beating 6 year olds at mariokart",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for beating 6 year olds at mariokart?
|
I was 15 or 16 at the time at some comic con and at the Nintendo stall they were doing some mariokart competitions for some cool Splatoon posters and stuff.
I'm not the best at Mariokart, but I would say I'm in the top 30% of Mariokart 8 players because of the sheer amount of time I've put into the game, so natually I volunteer to take part in the comp thinking I would go against someone who was older than me. I was against someone my age, but then two kids who were no older than like 6 at the very most.
Needless to say I absolutely obliterated them and I couldn't help but feel extremely guilty as a picked up my prizes (the poster was nice though). Especially as during the last race I decided to stop for about 15 seconds to let one of the kids to finish before me but I decided that would be insulting at the time so I just decided to go for a home run.
Am I an asshole for doing this?
INB4 this is a SHP, I assure you it is not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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