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gRl9Lxr1zIn1PzaPA40oIf5fJ8MYR27o
|
apbenu
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate to pay half of the pet deposit that I paid for my dog",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my roommate to pay half of the pet deposit that I paid for my dog
|
So backstory: I moved into this apartment 2 months ago with my roommate. I brought along my dog and I paid $250 in deposit money for her (which is required by our landlord for each animal). 3 weeks ago, my roommate decided he also wanted a dog and brought one home. But he doesn’t plan to register the dog with the landlord or pay the pet deposit.
I know money is tight for him because of the new dog so I was hoping we could just split the pet deposit money so that I don’t have to basically pay for damages possibly caused by both dogs. Also, his dog is a puppy and is constantly having accidents in the house while my dog is a completely trained adult dog so I just feel like it’s unfair.
Well I brought this up and he made it seem like I just want him to pay for possible damages my dog might have made in the first 2 months that she was here before his dog. He said that it doesn’t make sense for him to pay half since the deposit is registered under my dog and not his.
So AITA for asking for this money?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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dHHpNA8JkoCdj3D1y5F4GiZ3n4u03o47
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b73yot
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{
"description": "getting more angry when my husband tells me to relax",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting more angry when my husband tells me to relax?
|
Ok, so I've had a rough 18 or so hours. Last night right before bed I got told that my sister, her husband and my 5 week old niece had been in an accident on the highway (thankfully everyone looks to be ok). They live 3500km away so I was pretty torn up that I couldn't be there for them, and the fact that I have my own 8 month old made me feel for them and how worried they must have been for their daughter. When I finally fell asleep around 1 in the morning I didn't sleep long because my son woke me up at 4:30 and again at 7. He usually sleeps 8 til 8 but because we're getting rid of the pacifier he has been up multiple times a night for the last few nights. Needless to say I didn't sleep well and am pretty exhausted.
When we headed downstairs for the day, around 8:30, I could immediately smell shit. My dog who is totally housebroken had one of the largest shits I have ever seen.....right in the middle of my son's play yard and on his play mat. So now I couldn't put him in there to clean it, so I had to put him in his jumper, he was not having any of it and not having his pacifier just added to the crying. So here I am, trying to clean, disinfect, take care of baby, feed baby breakfast...fun times! Finally time for his nap and I thought I'd have an hour to finish cleaning and disinfect his toys. Nope, 20 minutes and he was back awake, play yard still not ready for him, so it was just a repeat of the morning. Finally done cleaning so I had to go take care of the daycare payment registration that had to be done today because it starts Apr 1.
New problem, couldn't find my keys. I looked everywhere. I was starting to stress out, I had about 2 hours before the closed. After half an hour looking for them I texted my husband to ask if he had seen them. He calls and asks if I checked X, Y. and Z places, which I had. I definitely sound stressed and a little worked up but I didn't yell or swear....at the beginning (we both have call recorders on our phone and listened after and agree to this fact). He kept cutting me off and telling me to relax which just made me more stressed out, he hung up twice, at the end of the third call I was livid and yelling.
Turns out the keys were locked in my car, he came home to get them for me (he has my spare). He opened the door, didn't say a word to me, dropped the keys on the floor and left....leaving the door wide open while I'm breastfeeding my son. I admitted to fucking up and locking my keys in the car but now he expects an apology for "yelling at him". I said I wasn't yelling at him, but yes I was stressed and yelling. He says that because he was on the other end of the phone that he considers it being yelled at. I tried to tell him that telling me to relax didn't help the situation, he says it's on me for not being able to control my emotions.
So, AITA for getting more angry every time I'm told to relax? I don't feel I'm the one that needs to apologize.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
9UfPhyP5nQ1smu5J49Q8xE2zTXljQ7jq
|
9z96qp
|
{
"description": "not inviting my lonely friends over for the holidays",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I don't invite my lonely friends over for the holidays?
|
I'm really torn about this one. One of my friends is this guy who lives somewhat by himself, and the other is 19 who JUST moved to my city. I've introduced them to each other and they seem to have their own budding friendship.
I live with my parents, and they are very big on NOT being hosts for the holidays as they like to relax and kick back without having anyone over.
It just occurred to me that they may be lonely tomorrow and I feel responsible for them both because I usually check in with them and hang out and whatnot.
I don't want them to be lonely on Thanksgiving but I also don't want to put my parents under unnecessary stress tomorrow either.
WIBTA if I don't invite them or spend time with them?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
gZcO3J69IcGG3j5vwG4k2SzIBf4Y5t4e
|
b3eszx
|
{
"description": "constantly leaving my so at night for alone time",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for constantly leaving my SO at night for alone time?
|
I'm a cocktail of mental illness -- depression and insomnia being the factors in this specific issue. I still do function well enough in life, but I feel like I put an incredible amount of stress on my SO.
Often, I cannot sleep, so I tend to head off on my own at unusual times in the night. My outings are nothing eventful. Sometimes, it's a walk at a nearby park. Sometimes, it's a visit to the grocery store (for nothing in particular). Sometimes, it's a highway drive.
This usually calms me down, and by the time I come back home, I'm in a much better state mentally.
The problem is that my SO worries *immensely.* My outings are mostly unpredictable, and when I'm in a bad mental state, I isolate myself. I don't want to be touched. I don't talk to anyone or look at anyone. I don't check my phone, usually leaving it behind or silencing it and putting it aside.
There are many times when I need the quiet and to be away from other people, just for a while. Whenever I have these episodes, I block out a lot of external stimuli in order to cope.
So when I leave, I don't say anything. He doesn't know where I'll be or how long I'll be gone, until I come back home and am back to my normal self.
One night in particular, he asked me not to go, and to come back to bed. But instead, I told him that this was something that I needed to do and that I would be back very soon. I left. When I came back -- sometime around 2 or 3 am -- I saw that he'd been crying while I was gone.
I was shocked and felt extremely guilty. So I apologized as much as I could, gave him a hug, and went right back to bed.
I feel like during my "episodes," I can be incredibly cold. I reject any physical contact. I don't want to talk. Essentially, I become unresponsive, and this hurts my SO a lot.
When I'm my normal self, all is good. It's great actually. We have fun, talk plenty about everything, run errands together, and go out. Or we spend nights in, reading, studying, watching videos, etc. -- just generally living and enjoying life together.
It's just that, in order to be normal, I need these night outings to myself. That time alone keeps me sane. However, every time I leave, reject a hug, or become unresponsive, it upsets him -- immensely. Yet it's difficult for me not to be this way. This is my coping mechanism.
Am I the asshole for constantly leaving my SO at night for alone time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
H9mH64ibm0j9tMVjENpGB7QUKoOS7svv
|
atxhzi
|
{
"description": "lying to my wife",
"pronormative_score": 87,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for lying to my wife?
|
A couple weeks ago I posted this to a different subreddit:
Every day we drive to work together since we work fairly close to each other, this used to lead to a lot of arguments about her being late.
I wake up at 6:30 to get ready, ‘she gets up at 6:45’ but she loves the snooze button on her alarm clock. We leave at 7:35 so hitting the snooze button twice (7minutes each) leaves her with 35 minutes to get ready, which has never been enough.
So every morning I wake up, set her alarm ahead 13 minutes, leaving me 2 minutes to get the coffee running. She wakes up, gets in the shower. While she is in the shower I go back and set the alarm back to the correct time. For the past 8 or so months she has believed showering, getting dressed and putting on make-up takes her about 15 minutes.
Every now and then she comments on how much she has improved with being late. I smile and say yes love you really have.
Sometimes a little white lie can be a good thing.
A lot of people called it controlling/manipulative etc. am I the asshole for doing this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 87,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
RIGHT
|
df9zeCL2UZaHVCUJMtEXkd4SGxg7MEvz
|
b37fqo
|
{
"description": "cutting off my drug addicted best friend? he died",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For cutting off my drug addicted best friend? He died.
|
So I had this friend that was heavy into drugs. He went to rehab and nothing changed, his mother did everything she could and I did too. I had frequent interventions with him discussing his worrisome behaviour (some heated and some cool/collected). Regardless, nothing worked.
Personally, I'm very aware that I am the average of the 5 people I hang around. I choose my friends wisely and I voice my opinion if they fuck up, and I expect the same from them (always trying to be better).
I was friends with this dude since the 6th grade and we ended up moving in together when we turned 18. He was pretty fresh out of rehab and his drug use was minimal (much better than what it was, seemed under control). He started going on binges. After the first one we had an intervention. Then the binges became more and more frequent.
It became clear to me that if this pattern continued, eventually he was going to die. I cut him off, pretty harshly, because it was clear that being around him was not good for me, and I wasn't helping him effectively. Eventually he moved out and we stopped talking. He went back to rehab for a couple of years, and when he returned he overdosed after a month and died from a mix of Hydrocodone and Oxytocin. My original hopes were that I cut him off, he gets his shit straight, and then we become friends again in time like we always have. I attended his funeral more pissed off because he couldn't change for the better than I was sad for his death. So the thing is...
Am I The Asshole For cutting my best friend out of my life, when i knew he was going to eventually die from drugs, instead of enjoying the good parts about him and accepting his faults? I feel like this is a huge grey area. On one hand I did what i thought was best, but even if i thought that way it might've been less painful just sticking with him till the end... Is accepting someones toxicity the final devotion to your family? (I did consider him a brother).
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
G3ayAZc20pA7vHTyLL5DlciL8uDhWEiu
|
ax908b
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to or spend time with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to or spend time with my mom?
|
Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom but ai can only take her in doses or else I feel like I’m going to snap. Things she does that really tick me off include:
- exaggerating, including white lies and bragging to family and others when I can hear, (and know the lies she is saying)
- controlling my schedule for the day
- using tone when she disagrees with a decision that should be purely my own.
I guess this has become a little bit of a vent but some times that I’ve spent with her included her basically asking me why my bf is taking so long to marry me and that “my clock is ticking” (I’m just 26) and “what is he waiting for”. She gets all mad over something, I don’t think, she should have that hard of a say for.
Another one: on my graduation for my BA in college, i only had 7 tickets for the event and was deciding who to invite. I wrote it in the family chat that I was still deciding. She took it as she had to assign who was going and thus did so and invited those individuals while doing it.
So ughh, I’m trying to get over these things but I’m afraid of these kind of moments when I’m interacting with my mom. Recently she has calmed down a bit but I can’t predict what she’ll do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
yvdEdQ4AjTXFTuRl5gopBpdmV1jBdaVj
|
b2g4f5
|
{
"description": "being angry at my mother in law in front of my children",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being angry at my mother in law in front of my children
|
This happened several months ago. Sorry for language problems as English isn't my first language.
My wife, our three children and myself own a house with a garden. In the garden, there are two bungalows that, while owned by me and my wife, my parents-in-law have "life estate". They have the right to live there and use these as long as one of them is alive. This was agreed upon when buying the house because my in-laws generously gave a lot of money. They are also free to use one of our four basements rooms for storage.
My MIL is very helpful. She's only there every other week for a couple days as she's still working, but whenever she's there, she helps cleaning up the house, tending the garden, doing the laundry and so on. I have mixed feelings about it, since we don't ask for her help and while I enjoy having some tasks off our plate, she sometimes misplaces stuff while tidying up or rearranging our place.
So once I was taking out the trash and I found some of my stuff in the garbage. I have a small box of memorabilia (personal stuff from my past like letters, my class ring and letters from my mother from the time I spent in the US as a student, a worry stone my first gf gave me, old pictures and so on) that is in one of our rooms in the basement. I found some of this box' contents in the garbage. I went through all our garbage cans and sure found the box itself and all its contents. I was furious. I rescued the stuff - except for some moisture it seemed unharmed - and confronted my MIL, while the family as having dinner. I was really angry for her to throw away my stuff.
She claimed the box was standing next to other boxes that my wife had told her to throw away. As far as I could tell, those boxes were in front of a shelf, while my box were in the shelf. So I told her with so many a little louder than normal words that I do not want her to go through my things.
She cut her stay at our house short and left the next day. A couple days later my FIL lets me know that she's angry at me for yelling at her in front of her grandchildren and my wife kind of wants me to apologize. While I didn't agree, I did apologize, because I like my peace and quite and don't need to fume about stuff like this and if it helps to say words in order for others to feel better, it doesn't hurt me to say words. (I think I did point out that I don't think it's bad for the children to witness an argument, especially because I made sure I explained to my children why I was angry at my MIL as neutral as I could.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
bNq9DRd5IQp6ZVYP8XsZsbjIig4RMyF1
|
b2v7u9
|
{
"description": "leaving a bad comment on my teacher's video when I was mad at her",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving a bad comment on my teacher’s video when I was mad at her?
|
At my credit card, my teacher wrote the bad things about me. He said, "I only do business to my own opinion and I'm giving other students a little more chance to answer the answer." My teacher did not have to teach me as much as I did in that craft and learned that I was so bad and then I wrote about my parents. He has a YouTube video where he sends a letter that keeps people from making some decisions. So in the summer I wrote an angry idea for this video for these reasons. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
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}
|
WRONG
|
c4wyQnwhZ9iUl1V5qwMOUM9G2cDlHg1G
|
anwys0
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give up my life just so my wife can go back to work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 24
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give up my life just so my wife can go back to work?
|
My wife and I are both in our early 30s. My wife quit her job two years ago when we had our twins. I’ve always been the primary earner in our household (I work in a high-paying field, while my wife didn’t even attend college), so it wasn’t a big transition. A year ago, we started the process of relocating to a rural area where I commute to my job every other week (I stay in an apartment while I’m there and spend every other week at home). We both love the outdoors and were happy to raise our family away from the chaos of the city. We have lived here in our new house for six months.
My wife recently began complaining that she felt isolated. I suggested that she try making friends in the town where we live, but she said that it’s too small and mostly old people (it is small, less than 500 people, but it’s not just old people). Now she’s saying that she wants to go back to work. This is ridiculous for a multitude of reasons. First of all, the closest town where she could realistically get a job is over an hour away. There’s also literally no childcare anywhere near here. I told her my concerns, and she said that this was important enough to her that she wants me to consider moving.
I’m furious at her for so quickly wanting to give up the life we built together. I put a lot of money into buying this property and building the house. We both agreed that raising our kids in the country was the best thing for our family. I want her to be happy, but I feel betrayed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
kcQ8mrxr4Dalm0h0iK6vwJr1cBgYjkFb
|
9u9gzo
|
{
"description": "getting mad about my girlfriend excluding me from her friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad about my girlfriend excluding me from her friends?
|
Sorry about the formatting, im on mobile.
So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 7 months now. I’d say its pretty healthy in most ways. My friends get along well with her and we all hang out often. However, I have hardly hung out with her friends. I wanna say I have hung out with her friends about 5 times total (over 7 months), compared to multiple times a week with my friends. I have only been with her friends at parties. (She used to not invite me to any, giving me some lame reason, until I confronted her. Now its more common). We have argued about it a couple of times now, so I wanna know what you guys think.
Another AITA question. Her guy friends are all part of the same group for the most part. The issue I have is that she has hooked up (just making out, high school hook up) with most of them once or multiple times. Shes had a thing with most of them, asking them to dances and such. Also gave me some TMI about past hookups. She dated one of them too for less than a month. There is this guy who she was gonna have a thing with, but didnt because her and I got together. My friend said that they are always talking, and the guy always gets up to go talk to her. AITA for being worried about it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
kzNPEn7216AgYkrCivPczjkjP4WpRbY3
|
b1zlqg
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut off my mom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut off my mom?
|
For context into the situation, I'm an 18 y/o AFAB living in the yeehaw state. Texas is all I've ever known. In May, I'll be moving out to California to live with my boyfriend of four years. We have plans to get an apartment and just live life. However, one of the things that I've been conflicted about is my mother.
I was born into a family of nine kids. My dad ended up being diagnosed with cancer when I was eight and died shortly after my ninth birthday. So, my mom had to step up. She started working while my older sister took care of us at home. Later down the line, my mom met my (now ex) stepdad, and they got married. The problem? He was an abusive prick. And something about his presence made my mom just as terrible to be around. After an incident that my sister reported to the police, I was put into the foster care system. After a year, I was placed back under my mother's care. This is where things get grey for me.
Ever since then (2013), life with my mother has been a mixture of heaven and hell. She doesn't hit me anymore, but I feel like I'm being emotionally abused. Except I don't know if I am or not because I've always been really sensitive. Any little thing can set her off, from a comment that was meant to be a joke to a sigh to one of the bowls not being washed correctly. And believe me when I say that when my mom gets mad, she gets MAD. Yelling, name-calling, threatening to kick me out- the works.
That aside, she's not all bad. She's still letting me live here until I graduate. She bought me new clothes for when I move out to California. She was the one who stood up for me when it came to bullies when I was little. When I attempted to move out this past December, she let me come back when it didn't work out.
I told one of my sisters two years ago that I was considering cutting off contact with my mom. I had just come out to her and she handled it like most conservative Christian moms. I was hurt and wanted to leave. But my sister just stared at me and said,"You can't do that to her."
My mom's getting up there in terms of age and she's in bad health. My sister reminded me that she had been put through almost all of the same things, and she still kept her in her life. And ever since then, I've felt guilty about the idea of cutting her off. I've done some things I'm not proud of over the years, like running away and keeping in contact with people online when she said not to. Most recently I quit my job (boss made inappropriate comments about me taking antidepressants) and now I can't give her my paycheck to help financially like I used to. She's stressed. And I can't help but to feel like maybe if I changed, we could have a normal relationship. Like maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion. Like maybe I'm the asshole in the situation.
So, I gotta know. Do y'all think I'm the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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a460di
| null |
AITA stopped talking to friends
|
Alright this is probably the stupidest thing to ever happen my dear redditers, so I'll jump right into it.
​
So this started about a year ago, since my long time friends started doing nothing with me but make fun of me, so I stopped liking hanging out with them. I still hung out with them though because I was hoping they would get bored of it, but as you could probably tell, that didn't work out well. I think the thing that started it was that I wanted to leave the country for university, which they thought was ridiculous because it's far.
Anyways, they started making fun of me for that kinda stuff every day, and it was basically all they said about me, and they kept looking for new things to make fun of me for and trying to get me mad so I'd say something for them to make fun of. That went on for about a year, because I'm way too optimistic, and I thought maybe they would get tired of it.
Eventually I got tired of constantly being made fun of, and I decided to stand up for myself by cutting them out of my life for being toxic, but I decided not to declare it because that would be the exact kind of attention I don't want, and it went about as smoothly as you'd expect. As soon as they got bored of their most recent joke, they started to realize I hadn't been talking or hanging out with them in a while, and they got pretty mad about it for some reason. To be fair, I kind of just stopped talking to them without saying anything, and I also recently started seeing this girl, and they think she's the reason I stopped talking to them.
Anyways, I sometimes go on their discord to read the crap they're saying about me, exactly one of them has been saying he misses me, while the rest hate me, I don't know if what I did was that bad, but if they hate me this much for it, I think you guys are more qualified to tell me what I did so wrong.
Thanks in advance for the judgement, it wont be easy but if I'm the asshole, I'll go apologize to them and try to make it up to them, I just don't know anything right now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
ecdIE3QRC5hskpdCUi6SzZRgDCIao6Cb
|
aoi0xc
|
{
"description": "selling a Christmas gift given to me by my mum",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for selling a Christmas gift given to me by my mum
|
My mum got me some sick Bose earbuds for Christmas, however I didn’t get to opening the Christmas gift till recently (reason being was that I was having major exams, and I didn’t want to get distracted by any of the gifts). As you can imagine, I was stoked, however, when I tried it one one of my ear had an extra cartilage and the Bose earphones doesn’t fit very well in that ear (feels like it’s half falling out, although it can stay in place). I’m contemplating selling it off but I feel bad because for one my mum got it for me as a gift and secondly she has said that it’s rude to sell of gifts given to you by others, not sure what to do. I can’t return it because it’s past the exchange policy date.
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af9p3r
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AITA went to an Elton John concert and got yelled at and harassed for standing and dancing during “dance” songs
|
So my friend and I went to an Elton John concert last night and the older people behind us started tugging on my friends jacket when we stood up and started screaming and dancing when he came out on stage with his opening song”Bennie and the Jets”. So my friend turns around and is leaning over her chair saying “come on get up and dance” that the older woman pinches my friends arm and tells her to sit down. Of course my friend was upset the woman had pulled on her and physically touched her. I don’t care how old you are it is never ok to touch someone like that EVER. So my friend says look I’ll compromise if it’s a dance song we’re going to dance otherwise we will sit. Now 90% of the time we sat and clapped and screamed from our seats and just enjoyed the music and show. It wasn’t until the encore that our section finally all started standing and getting into the music. AITA for enjoying the music and wanting to stand and dance and cheer at a concert??
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aorwnz
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{
"description": "asking my wife to not allow my fil in the delivery room",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 20
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|
AITA for asking my wife to not allow my FIL in the delivery room?
|
This will be her second child and ours first together. Previously she had my MIL and FIL in the delivery room and mentioned she wants the same again. To be transparent I do not like my FIL at all. He has anger issues, verbally abused my wife as a child, and rarely takes his medication. He has said on multiple occasions she could do better and our last conversation ended at he was going to beat my ass. I believe this anonymity is going to take away from our experience bringing our baby into this world. This has caused a huge fight now thatI told her that he cant be back in the room with us. I personally think it will take away from the intimate moment and I will not be able to do my job very well comforting her with him there. AITA for telling her he's not allowed back with us? or is she for not understanding the circumstances?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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PwclIPSY8CnaJE5MGbqgW3IlNLDACJGV
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b5lqc1
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"description": "sticking up for my best friend after he cheated on his wife",
"pronormative_score": 15,
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|
AITA for sticking up for my best friend after he cheated on his wife.
|
I've known my best friend Jon for about a decade and he's been married to May for 4 years. We're all 27. May is my wife's best friend. So really we're all a tight friend group but I feel much closer to Jon and my wife is much closer to May. I don't dislike her at all, but if I had a gun and had to shoot one of them.. I know where my bullet's going.
On to the story, last night May calls my wife and tells her she found out Jon has been having an affair. My wife invites her to our house to spend the night. I call Jon and he confirms it, I tell him he's a moron and hang up. I'm fine with May being here, we get along but it's definetly awkward considering she was cheated on by my best friend.
While I was ready to get to bed my wife turns to me and asks me what's going to happen between Jon and I. I say nothing's going to change. Obviously the friend group is over and unless they fix their problems. She says she expects me to drop Jon which I am absolutely NOT going to do. He's an idiot for cheating in the 1st place and May did nothing wrong but I'm not going to drop my closest friend because of an affair. I tell her that and she says it's immoral of me to continue supporting Jon while May is the victim here. I'm not going to cut contact with May, she's still a friend, but I am also not going to cut off Jon. She says it's asshole-ish of me to do but I disagree. Aita?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9wlajj
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{
"description": "flipping out on a girl when she asked for my help after ghosting me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for flipping out on a girl when she asked for my help after ghosting me?
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Tl;dr at the bottom, long time lurker first time poster, I’m on mobile etc etc
I’ve been feeling really about about how I treated this girl recently and I’m turning to reddit for advice. We had known each other for over a year and had started talking pretty consistently for roughly 6 months. I was in high school at the time and have retained the social awkwardness I portrayed back then. I tried to make up ways to hang out with her because we weren’t part of the same friend group. I would come up with things like asking if she wanted to play narrative based video games together (which I know she was interested in) via streams and discord. She said that she would love that and so we said we’d do it that weekend. She then proceeded to be busy for the entire weekend. She was never quite specific on what it was so I’m pretty sure it was made up. I thought it wasn’t a big deal and asked if she wanted to do it the coming weekend instead. She agreed and once again she forgot all about it despite being active and friendly during the week. I tried to take no offense to this but I had trouble after two really suspicious weekends.
Months passed and we never played those games, but we were still talking consistently. I then in my infinite stupidity chose to face my social anxiety and ask her on a date to the movies, to which she replied the classic “....as friends.” I asked her if she actually wanted to go as friends or if it was just social niceties, and she replied the former. So I take the time to plan everything and invite extra friends so it wouldn’t be weird and she cancels and then doesn’t talk to me for two months straight. She used to say hi in the hallways and now walks right past without so much as a glance. I was extremely hurt by this and I was extremely confused as I saw no logical reason for her to act this way.
After these two months of ghosting she asks me for help with a writing piece of hers. I basically blow up on her and tell her that she actually has to cultivate relationships with people for them to want to help her, and that she shouldn’t except me to turn around from being rejected and promptly ghosted with a smile on my face and that she needed to find somebody else. I used specific details of how she was upset some of her friends chose to stop hanging around with her, and I said that if she treated them the same she treated me then they have every right to leave.
She later tells me she only ghosted me in an attempt to not lead me on. I feel justified in how I felt but I’m regretful of how I acted. What do you think, Reddit, AITA?
Tl;dr: I liked a girl and asked her out, she ghosted me and then asked for my help and I blew up
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aystos
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"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for telling my ex 'no' to hanging out with friends
|
TLDR: My ex wanted to go to a movie with his friends. I told him no. He kept pushing because I'd be awake all night resetting my sleep schedule so I could watch her. This led to an argument. AITA?
;;
My ex and I are not together, but we cohabit and coparent. I'm in the process of looking for my own place and figuring out childcare and custody.
During March, I have to do an externship with one of the major hospitals nearby. The commute can range from 45 minutes to an hour and a half one way. Shifts are 8 1/2 or 10 1/2 hours long. My preceptor has me on a hectic rotation for this month so I can meet my hour requirement.
I've let my ex know about this in advance. He was fine with the schedule, but mostly upset because it meant he wouldn't see his friends for a month. He goes out dancing Fridays and Saturdays. Sunday through Thursday nights, he'll walk over to one of the houses of his friends and stay drinking with them until 2 in the morning. I'm always the one who watchs our kid during those times.
Yesterday, I had just come home after finishing the morning shift. After he finished telling me about his day, I told him how I wasn't looking forward to resetting my sleep schedule with so little time. (I have the midnight shift tonight.)
A few hours later, I'm helping our kid clean up her room to get ready for a bath. He comes in and tells me his friends are going to see Captain Marvel and asks if he can go. I say no. He asks why and I was planning on getting groceries shortly after I put our kid down for bed. I said was already really tired and I didn't trust that I wouldn't crash at some point. He leaves then comes back a few minutes later. He says he can be home by 9:45.
I asked him if this was going to be a reoccurring issue when I moved out amd we had split custody. He told me that he wasn't going to see his friends in over a month and this was the only time he could. He said he had already told them he'd ask me when I got home. He asked me what the big deal was since I was going to be up all night anyways so I could shopping at any point.
I got mad and repeated that I was tired and I wanted to get the task of having to drive somewhere over with first thing. I reminded him of how often he goes to see his friends.
Our kid hears our voices raising and she hugs me and hides her face in my leg. It kinda deflated the argument. I tell my ex that I didn't want to talk about it at the moment. He agreed but said that we will talk about it. Our kid asked if I mad at him. At the same time, he said no and I said yes.
After I put her down for the night, I sat on the couch with him to see if he'd want to finish our talk. He didn't say anything or look my away, but was furiously messaging people on Snapchat.
After I came back from shopping, he told me he was going to walk over to one of his friend's house. I told him okay. He came back at almost 1 and went straight to bed. AIAA?
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HISTORICAL
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aeci83
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{
"description": "reporting my former best friend to the IRS for tax evasion",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
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|
AITA for reporting my former best friend to the IRS for tax evasion
|
Me and my best friend had a falling out over him saying some pretty insulting things about my girlfriend of 3 years. He also got married to this girl he’d been seeing for only 3 months and I told him that probably wasn’t the best idea and he should wait, which he took offense to and only ended up escalating our tensions.
He works for his dad’s general contracting company as a 1099 employee, and I know for a fact he doesn’t pay taxes. He flexes his new truck, his new apartment, and that he bought his girlfriend a car. He’s changed and been so toxic since he’s been with this girl, she want as far as trying to uninvite my girlfriend from their wedding. We both ended up not going because I wanted to put my relationship first, but me and him haven’t talked since I told him I wasn’t going to attend.
Fast forward to now; I know he still doesn’t pay taxes and he hasn’t filed for the past three years, and I know eventually he’s going to be audited. I figure, if he’s going to be audited eventually why not try to get an incentive for it. He makes 60,000+ annually, which adds up to be a lot of taxes after three years. Am I the ass hole for supplying information about him not paying taxes to the IRS?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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ao0dam
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{
"description": "not liking my stepdaughter",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not liking my stepdaughter
|
AITA? June 1st, ’15, my bf of 6 weeks had a heart attack (I had known him for 3 yrs at that point). We were living in Central America and just getting him to the first hospital for a diagnosis was a crazy trip (he was diagnosed there as having a massive heart attack) . Then he had to be transported through the Central American mountains to the other side of the country to a different hospital so he could be stabilized for 5 days so he can (hopefully) be safely transported to the US for heart surgery.
I took him (it was against his will, I had to fight him) to the first hospital and followed him to the second hospital and stayed in a hostel for 4 days. I went back to where we were living to clean up and pack our luggage for the trip back to the US. I texted him when I got back saying I was so fucking exhausted I could barely stand up, could I please have one night to sleep. He texted me back saying I had to clean and pack and if I wasn’t on the 9am flight to Panama City the next morning, I will be responsible for his death. So I stayed up and did what I had to do and was on the 9am flight.
While we were on the plane I asked him where his daughter was picking us up at, Harrisburg or Philly? He said she’s picking us up in Tampa and she’s driving us to a resort in Orlando bcs that is where she is on vacation with his grandkids.
I thought he was fucking joking. He told me his daughter is a nurse. No nurse would pick someone up in Tampa and drive them all the way to fucking Orlando knowing they were being stabilized after a massive heart attack (his left ventricle was completely blocked, it’s called a Widow Maker). Well, that is exactly what she did. She had him singing karaoke, took him to the Golden Corral…for 3 fucking dayssss. I won’t get into the horrific craziness we had to go through getting him from Philly to central PA.
We make it to central PA at 4am on a Monday morning, I wake him up at 8am and ask him what he wants to do. Im completely lost at that point, I’ve spent 4 days with a family that just didn’t care about him. He says he wants to go to a clinic, I should’ve demanded a hospital but I didn’t, I don’t know why. We go to the clinic and they book him an appointment for Wednesday, why I didn’t walk up to that counter and demand an ambulance, I don’t know why.
We get back to her house at 10:30 am, everyone is still sleeping, not one of those people got up to see if their Dad/Pappy went to a Dr/hospital/clinic, nothing, they left it to a perfect stranger to do.
When she did get up and was informed about a Wednesday appt, it didn’t bother her, remember, she is a nurse, I am not.
What did bother her was her DISGUSTING neon green outdoor pool and her DISGUSTING backyard, so she walked her dad and I around her backyard pointing out all the crap that needs to be done bcs she’s having a pool party on Friday. I thought she was fucking joking, she wasn’t, she was serious about me and her dad getting her pool and yard clean.
I went and laid on one of his granddaughter’s beds and “internetted” while he spent 2 days cleaning the pool and the yard. Wednesday rolls around, I get him back to the clinic and when they realized what his situation really was, there was an ambulance there in less than 10 minutes. He went into emergency heart surgery and 2 stents were placed in him.
They let him out the next day after informing us everything he was to do. So the next couple days I have him outside on little walks and car drives, but his phone won’t stop blowing up. It’s his daughter and she is PISSED we’re not in the house. These people watch TV all day. It doesn’t matter if it’s nice out, they don’t go out. So Im thinking maybe she thinks Im over exercising her dad?
Third morning after heart surgery I wake up to banging. I walk down the hall and there he is in one of his granddaughter’s bedrooms knocking down a wall. I’ll never forget looking into that room and seeing his daughter’s gigantic ass standing behind him with her hands on her hips while he’s bent over and about to pick up 2, 20-30lb buckets of drywall and walk them down a narrow, one and a half story set of stairs, through the foyer, heave the buckets shoulder height into the bed of a truck and then go repeat it about 50xs!!! I pushed her giant ass aside, grabbed the fucking buckets and did it all myself. I didn’t know those people, I shouldn’t have to labor for them. I’ve done practically everything in my power to keep her dad alive and she’s doing her best to fucking kill him.
When we finally left, I was so angry and they all knew it.
A year and a half later he needs to go back for shoulder surgery, I go with him bcs I don’t trust any of those people to take care of him properly. While I was there, things were better. His grandchildren weren’t demanding sandwiches; “Pappy, make me a sandwich Im hungry”. No please, no thank you, nothing and Im Canadian, this shit doesn’t fly with me. I told him that he needs to stop his granddaughters from talking to him like that, they need to use their manners, especially with their grandfather!!! He told me that wasn’t his job, his job was to spoil them. That first visit I finally had enough and I confronted them, told them if they don’t stop demanding things from him and if they want something they better use their manners or they’ll be dealing with me, not him. So the girls were amazing the second visit/stay, please and thank you’s every time, I was (and still am) very proud of them. I even started feeling better about his daughter.
Flash forward 6 months and we’re getting married (I’m still hoping I did the right thing, ugh). The day before the wedding his daughter starts to apologize and then explain her outrageous and dangerous behaviors from the first visit. I stop her and tell her it’s ok and gave her a hug. I did it only bcs it was the day before my wedding and there would’ve been nothing she could’ve said to make what she did better, in fact there was a huge chance she’d just piss me off more and I didn’t want to risk it.
So everything is going pretty great, we buy an RV and moved back to North America last spring. We agreed to help his daughter put in a second bathroom and clean and rebuild their nasty backyard. On our way there she sends us pics of the area they want the bathroom, they’ve already knocked down the walls and starting the reno. We were so proud they were finally taking the initiative themselves. We get there and….she knocked down half her fucking house. She knew no one agreed to that, you could see it on her face when she led us through her house.We had plans, we had an important wedding to go to, we were supposed to go to Maine, what we agreed to would’ve taken a month, at the most 6 weeks. He labored 6 days a week, 6-10hr days for 4 MONTHS. I didn’t go, I didn’t agree to any of that shit and I wasn’t doing it. He couldn’t let his grandchildren live in that and I understood.
I made it clear to the children that I adore them (they know their mom is a pyscho, they’ve made that very clear to me) and they know and believe it. But I will not speak to his daughter anymore, not casually, there needs to be a definitive reason why she needs to speak with me. I will also not go back to PA with him. They are all invited here, even her, our RV is huge with 2 bathrooms and it sleeps eight comfortably. But Im not going near her on her turf ever again.
Now my husband and his daughter think I am an outrageous asshole, there is even talk of divorce (from him, not me).
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b0ql01
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{
"description": "not desiring marriage with my so of 10 years",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 35
}
|
AITA for not desiring marriage with my SO of 10 years?
|
Posting on my throwaway because I don't want to risk this getting found by my SO.
A little backstory which may or may not be relevant to your judgment. Every single member of my extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) has had at least one divorce. My own mother married three times, each marriage lasting no longer than a few years. We had to uproot our lives each time a marriage went sour and move to a new school district. I'm a little disenchanted (and bitter) with the idea of marriage. From my perspective, marriage just represents the beginning of the long drawn out process of death of a relationship, and potentially the ruin of lives.
See, my mom and my dad were perfectly happy before getting married, from the stories I've heard it was the best time of either one's lives. Then they got married, had me, and split. I don't know the full story of why this happened, and I don't really want to know, it's not my business. I was still a baby when they broke it off, so I never even got to develop the memory of a happy, whole family. My earliest memories are of being handed off for visitation with my dad once every two weekends. After the divorce, my father was a broken man. He was never truly happy again. He remarried and stayed in that marriage for around 20 years but was never actually happy with his life. Eventually he hit rock bottom, developed a meth habit, his wife left him, and he died penniless and a broken man.
Now I'm a grown man, I've been with my SO for about a decade. She has been dropping heavy hints (read: basically demanding) that she wants to get married. I can't really blame her. In the time that we've been together, I know several couples who have met, gotten married, and had children. Her parents are still together and she didn't have the bitter experience I did growing up, so the idea of marriage is still sacred and magical to her. Her mom recently was diagnosed with leukemia, which is under control, but it has really kindled my SO's desire to get married, so her mom can be present at the wedding. Despite this, I'm still dragging my feet because it feels like I now have a time limit to do something I really don't see the point of. I mean, does our relationship really mean anything less than a married couple's, just because they got the state to recognize their union? We've been together 10 years, many (most?) marriages last way less than that.
I haven't really opened up to her about how I feel about marriage, because I know it would probably break her heart to find out that I'm 100% apathetic to the idea. So does this make me an asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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a4s4bc
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{
"description": "getting mad at my boyfriend cause he didnt want me to facetime him good night",
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|
AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend cause he didnt want me to facetime him good night
|
So my boyfriend and i always facetime each other good night, even if its for 5 minutes.
We were in a group call w another friend and i was doing homework and i got pretty mad at myself because my research paper was really bad and i spent all day on it. i was getting really agitated with myself so i sorta “stormed out of the call”.
i then text him to call me when he’s going to sleep and he replies to me, “im actually going to sleep right now”.
i text “Call?” and he goes “my eyes are tired”
i say oh okay and text him “gn, ily, etc.”
im now currently mad at what happen because i was really looking forward to calling him, especially because it’ll help me destress. i apologized to him anyways for getting mad btw but hes sleeping so
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HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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b1tc1q
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{
"description": "agreeing with my girlfriend about losing some attraction to her due to weight gain",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for agreeing with my girlfriend about losing some attraction to her due to weight gain
|
Bit long so skip to the tl:dr if you want.
So me (22) and my gf (21) were chilling in the living room watching TV and she initiated sex - recently I had lost attraction to her because of her weight gain so I just wasn't in the mood for it at that moment.
The loss of attraction was because she wouldn't make an honest effort to work on it and ignored my advice (only given when she asked). It was a constant cycle of:
**Her**: "I need to lose weight"
**Me**: "Why don't you try this?" (said in a nice sincere way)
**Her**: "Ok" and then she wouldn't try, and she would gain more - doing obvious things she know's or I have said isn't helpful (again, I would mention these things only when she asked and in a gentle way) like constant snacking.
At the start, she wasn't like this and it's been a noticeable difference: maybe 40 lbs gained. She constantly mentioned it to the point where I started influencing the way I saw her: at first I wasn't bothered, then I started to notice and be bothered more and more. Even so, I always said honest positive comments where I could and never negative ones.
So back to when we were chilling watching TV, she then says "I know I don't look how I used to so I get it if the attraction isn't the same or you've lost some to me" to which I replied: "Yeah I guess things have changed, but that's not why though I'm just not in the mood, and regardless I want you to know I still love you and will always support you, you're still beautiful". In my head I was like, she's opening up and being honest and we can work through it.
Nope, the next few days she literally shut down and started blaming me for making her feel bad, saying she can't believe I said that to her, and how sick she felt that I would say that. How she feels horrible now looking at herself and thinks I've told everyone I know that she's fat. How it's mean as she's trying her best. I apologized again and reiterated how much I love her and I'm still attracted just like she said it's changed a bit. This happened months ago and she still brings it up and says it was really hurtful I said that and still affects her.
I believe that honesty is important in a relationship and I didn't want to lie about something that I knew we both realized. Am I the asshole in this situation?
**tl:dr:** My girlfriend brought up that she knows the attraction between us has changed because she's put on weight, I agreed with her in a sincere way still saying I loved her and she's still beautiful and now she's blaming me for saying that and saying it's hurt her really bad and she feels awful now looking at herself despite me always supporting her, never mentioning her weight and trying my best to help her lose weight when she asked me for advice (which she ignored). AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b8e6sw
| null |
AITA: Post-breakup friends group
|
When I was with my ex, she got me involved with a social group. It was not the first contact I had with the group, but it was the first time I started learning who people in the group were, and becoming a part of it. In fact, I was introduced to my ex by a member of the group I had met elsewhere. Over the course of about a year, my ex and I were infrequent attendees of nightly events, and regular attendees of larger meetups (concerts, parades, movie showings, etc).
​
A few months ago, I broke up with my ex. She quickly broke off contact, and wants nothing to do with me. I hold no animosity towards her, and just saw differences between us that I believe could not be resolved (not going to dig into it). The situation around the breakup and the reasoning for it was admittedly not well expressed on my side (couldn't stand to show someone they hurt me, cuz it would hurt them back; very stupid I know, gotta work on it, but still expressed unrelated reasons with impact on long-term relationships).
​
After the fact, I did not want to break contact with this social group. They had been her friends first, but were mine now as well; and my primary source of social interaction for nearly a year. In general, I have only attended the nightly events with the greatest crowd (30-50 people). This was in an attempt to allow us to avoid each other; as well as a planning around certain nights that as a couple we had not attended regularly. After some while, I have blocked her phone number, but before doing so she messaged me saying to "stay out of \[her\] friends group" after seeing me at one of the nightly events. This was a nightly event I had attended consistently since our breakup, and her first time there since.
​
As an additional complication, and a key accelerant to our breakup, both of us plan to move out of the area in the fall.
​
I have no intention of abandoning this group. I've had enough struggles that I am still dealing with in finding new social groups. I have even committed to a larger event with this group on a weekend I know she has plans from our prior mutual planning (she has tickets with other friends of hers). I DO have every intention of avoiding contact with her; both out of non-confrontational tendencies, and to give her space.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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0bbOooCm5OOMns58TQ2xWfZPl1d9R8Jl
|
a9eard
|
{
"description": "getting my ex's car repo'd",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I got my ex’s car repo’d.
|
This is a pretty long story so I’ll try and make it short.
Girlfriend of three years, things are cool til she cheats and we take a break. After awhile and a lot of talking, we get back together.
Three months in, she loses her job and is doing grubhub and uber, but barely because she is kind of lazy and won’t do anything unless schedules. Behind on rent, owing 5k to her car that is on the repo list, asking me for all the kind of help that I can give.
I eventually get her a job at my pizza place as a driver/cook. She is now able to pay rent and can afford to live because she works a livable schedule.
Two months in she starts seriously turning her bipolar to 11, including mental and physical abuse to me. This is not new to me but never had I seen it this bad and I hadn’t don’t anything to provoke her. She is like this for a month and then flips it on me and tells me I am not loving her the same, when I am truly trying my hardest and trying to get her to a stable place in life but anytime I am near her or try and ask her what is wrong, it only seemed to fuel some fire. I got three black eyes in one month just from being near her during these manic moods.
She starts closing and getting home really late, not telling me where she is, and showing the obvious signs. Through some light PI work I asked my coworkers what was up, and they said she was leaving with one of the other drivers. One look at texts on her front screen confirmed that she was seeing a guy from our work.
I have worked there for a year and got her the job because she would ask me for money and help, and figured it would be easy enough to keep her stable. Little did I know she would flip it on me that hard.
I politely asked her to please transfer to a different store because this is not okay, and she said she would file for harassment and get me fired if I tried to do anything to get her transferred (I know she can’t tho like wtf). It took me all of my restraint to not call her repo company then.
Recently, she decided to blow my phone up about how she wants aderall from my friend who she knows it is prescribed to. I told her he didn’t sell it or give any away and that she was referring to a one time thing where he shared with us.
After telling her no a few times, she starts endlessly calling me and texting me, threatening to go to my house to break my windows, find my car, go to my parents house, etc whatever she can do to fuck my life up or my family’s life up because she “knows I am holding it from her” when this is the most out-of-left-field shit I have ever heard.
After calling the nonemergency number, asking them to check on my house because I was at work, I realized it was a scare tactic. But I was at work actually freaking out having to run around calling the cops to make sure my house was okay.
After asking her one last time to please leave the job that I got her to another store in the franchise (which is very simple) and her refusing and threatening me once more, I have decided to call the repo company update her address. They have been to my parents house and my house looking for her so it will not take long for her car to be gone.
Thanks for hearing me out and I really just need some peer evaluation to know whether or not I’m a prick. I would wait until after Christmas too lol.
Also, I would move stores myself but I am a driver also and the tips in my area are astronomically higher (I know through experience) than other areas so moving is basically a demotion.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
eJfGZzU1pveWHBr51oVMPflxiWGhZ3jr
|
b12s8i
| null |
AITA for how I say things when I feel relationship insecurities
|
Firstly, I know I have insecurities stemming from mental disorders and I'm thankful for my girlfriend in that she has been a trooper in being patient. I have been doing my best to work on it while at the same time trying to voice concerns before they turn into broken record in my head. I have been told the way I go about bringing these up is accusing her of cheating. I don't want to do this.
She leaves her computer unlocked when I'm around which has full access to text messages, email, and passwords and I know the password to her phone. I do the same thing for her and its mutual agreement, however, I refuse to snoop and have not done it under any circumstances.
There is one example I need help with. I'm not sure if I am TA for how I said this and is it accusatory of cheating?
​
I was working late shift and she had the day off working on her car. On my lunch break we were chatting. I sent a message using a messaging program I know she uses on the computer (but not on the phone almost ever) thinking she was home and done with the car by then. I get a reply of the address to a restaurant we go to frequently that we both know where it is like the back of our hand. Her response was it was in the buffer to send on the phone (from months - maybe years ago) and just hit enter to clear it. I should have taken her at her word immediately but anxiety kicked in.
It was the truth of course. Here is how the messages went:
Me: " So therr is a big push to term out the shit people" (bitching about work)
Her: <Address and link to restaurant on google> Had in cue ignore
Me: Hmm
Her: Fighting to get oil filter thing off
Her: (Video call attempt to initiate - fails)
Me: Why?
Her: Replacing Fucker is on tight
Me: Why the video call?
Her: Sorry about call was trying to figure or how to send pic
Me: Something doesn't smell right
Her: It is not the camera icon at the top. Fine
(She sends another video call, I answer, and she shows me she is working on the car)
&#x200B;
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
CpINAA5NlHo7QZJUbtSeg9hv7dgCEpZp
|
b8bq9y
|
{
"description": "getting mad about my roommate's April fools day prank of spreading rotten eggs all over my bed",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting mad about my roommate’s April fools day prank of spreading rotten eggs all over my bed?
|
My roommate and I have been prancing each other for a few years, (ie , I fed him Haribo sugar free hummus, he put Carolina reapers in my soup once). This year, when I got back home from classes, I found that he sprinkled weeks old eggs all over my bed, causing my room to become uninhabitable. Am I the asshole for demanding that he clean my room and pay for new sheets/a pillow?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
sEArO4mRrvdQKLOCJ7uNfdF7iAvC0b5h
|
b8xsf6
|
{
"description": "being upset with my friend for not inviting me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being upset with my friend for not inviting me?
|
During this winter, a friend of mine and I talked about how we both love playing volleyball and we should go play when it gets warmer on several occasions.
Last week, I saw her playing with other people from school on her Ig story, she actually had called me that day to see me at school but I was already at home, so she knew I was free.
She casually mentioned this event afterwards, saying this is the 2nd time she played with them and intending to do so again. I somehow got the sense that she only mentions this bc I already saw it on Ig and there is no way of hiding. These are the people I know of so she could have invited me with no problem.
I got upset but figured no one ows me anything and this person showed me she is a good friend on different occasions before so I will let it go.
But natually, I can't act the same way I used to with her. Last week I didn't see her at all, it's not diffucult to avoid since our schedules are different and when I see her I can't help but feel cold to her and she realizes something is off. AITA for feeling and behaving this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
Fiz8o9Gn18gzFabXPdnEAcfd6FAvigds
|
b48l76
|
{
"description": "being annoyed at someone who only talks about how they're a good person",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For being annoyed at someone who only talks about how they’re a good person
|
I met someone who seems to have a messiah complex. Every conversation with him turns into how much they help people, and they brag about how much he does help. One time they texted me just to say he’s tired because he’s been fixing the relationship of a couple and talked about how good he is at helping. It’s getting annoying as fuck. Yesterday I asked why he doesn’t just become a psychologist or a therapist but they went on about how those people don’t care like he does and they’re just in it for a pay check. He also criticized anti depressants and how they just give them to anyone that walks in. And that’s when I snapped and argued how they do help and how anti depressants save lives. That went on for a while with him just making things up and I guess he didn’t realize I’ve studied this topic as well as have gone through the process. After a while he gave up and said “well I asked for a note and they said I’m severely depressed when I was only kinda sad so they gave me pills without asking more questions” which I called out since he said before that he was depressed a while back and got on meds that helped. Which annoyed me even more.
TLDR a guy with a messiah complex claimed to be better than professionals educated in psychotherapy, I finally snapped and called him out so AITA
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
DJOvJo2PqVE3jrY4GVY8m2M7KwzMUff5
|
ac5tb7
|
{
"description": "not taking a drifter in my truck",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not taking a drifter in my truck?
|
I am a truck driver and literally just try to do my thing and get my cargo's delivered on time. A while back I was driving through a wooded area and a woman ran out in front of my truck. She said 'help me someone is after me'.
I told her to hop in (the doors were locked) and when she moved out of the way of the truck, I drove off leaving her behind. I know you might think this is cruel but this is a typical scam I have long know of whereby truck drivers are waylaid by scum (distracted by a woman) and then robbed.
My duty is first and foremost to my employer and getting the deliveries on time.
AITA for being better safe than sorry?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
3acI7IJmmvJ29XLdNfXU07Wc2ntUzAYZ
|
b6q6le
|
{
"description": "refusing to drive my gf to the airport",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to drive my GF to the airport?
|
Me and my gf live together. She is going on a work trip out of state. She leaves Sunday and returns Wednesday. We were talking about her travel plans as I was anticipating I would be driving her to the airport. The airport is about 75mins from our home.
She told me her flight back on Wednesday would arrive at 4:00pm. That means I would have to leave work a couple hours early to be there to pick her up. I wasn’t sure of my schedule on Wednesday and if I had anything that would prevent me from leaving early. As I was thinking about it, I realized that this is a work trip for her. So she could expense any overnight parking expenses. So I asked her why she doesn’t drive herself, because it wouldn’t cost her anything and then I don’t have to worry about leaving work early.
This upset her. I could tell she did not like that idea. It was one of the few times we have had a disagreements where we think the other person is being totally unreasonable. She said that driving herself and figuring out parking and trying to time it out causes her anxiety. It’s obviously easier for her if I drive her and can drop her off right at the terminal. She also knows that I would probably be able to adjust my work schedule without much effort.
I think it’s unreasonable to ask me to drive 2.5 hrs round trip each day and leave work early when she can drive herself and park for free. I’ve driven her to the airport numerous times but those were always personal trips. It makes sense to me to drive her to save $100+ dollars on parking. Asking me to inconvenience myself in this way just doesn’t make sense. She is not a particularly anxious person, so I understand it would cause her some stress, but it’s not going to cause a panic attack or serious distress.
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
kPbQjIzxxj2AjPD3FOxjwldjG7kCu9gc
|
a7gzi0
|
{
"description": "wishing that the family I'm staying with would have their dinner conversation in language I can understand so I can contribute to the conversation",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wishing that the family I'm staying with would have their dinner conversation in language I can understand so I can contribute to the conversation?
|
They're pretty strong in English, and my friend is fluent. Right now I'm just sitting at the table smiling and nodding while it's 90% Arabic. I would never actually ask this though, or I'd seem rude and unaccepting.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
7C0NtYTXzqAqihVOJsm8ogOUG7qzr4G2
|
ay8uu8
|
{
"description": "not carrying the shopping all the way to the kitchen",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not carrying the shopping all the way to the kitchen?
|
A bit of quick backstory. I am in high school and my mum is in late 50's. She picks me up from school but once a week, she goes shopping before she comes and picks me up. When we get home, I help her to carry all (Or most) of the shopping upstairs to the kitchen for her.
This time however, instead of quickly dumping my school bag and other things inside and going back outside to help, I walked inside and put my stuff away (maybe took half a minute). When I was done, I heard my mum coming to the door with some shopping bags, so I waited at the door to take them from her so I could carry them upstairs. When I asked to carry them however, she simply ignored me and walked straight upstairs. I asked why she ignored me and she went on about how she waited outside for me to get the bags but I wasn't there to take the heavy ones and then called me ungrateful for not taking them.
And the bags she took in were the heavy ones, and left the lightest ones in the car (Which I carried in straight after).
And when I came in with the rest of the bags, she was still angry and said I was on my phone or something like that.
&#x200B;
Am I the asshole here? She always gets angry about little things like these and if thing aren't done her way. I don't really know what to do at this point.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
W3FfIAL2p4XqrDYQBQk9Flh7wrVA4m5T
|
a4eg7e
|
{
"description": "yelling at my barber for not cutting my hair how I want it cut",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for yelling at my barber for not cutting my hair how i want it cut
|
Alright so today I wanted to get a taper and trim but he cut it all the way and when he was done i yelled at him but still gave him 15 dollars hes been cuting my hair for 4 years and we know each other very well but my hair was 5 inches and he cut it to .5 inches it looks nice but im black and it will probly take 6 months to grow it back
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
eEUTpZITzkMHmvaswC1zEq4iTt7wTk9o
|
ammq8m
|
{
"description": "wanting to discuss his cheating while he's in the psych hospital",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting to discuss his cheating while he's in the psych hospital?
|
Long story short: We're married. He stopped taking antidepressants 2 weeks ago because he forgot to pick them up. He's been cheating for 2+ mos. I find out. He says he wants us both & he loves her too. I tell him to chose & he chooses me. He says he's sorry. I say I don't know if I can trust him (not the first time he's done it). He locks himself in the bedroom and makes a suicide attempt. Ends up in inpatient with constant suicide thoughts. I tell him he needs to seriously consider his actions before he leaves & be able to verbalize what went wrong and how he's going to make it right, or we're over. Apparently staff think that makes ME manipulative.
So internet, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
in5t5SJTisprO9yOBcmanNBzHnehrQAa
|
av5a55
|
{
"description": "lying about my feelings? I feel horrible",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for lying about my feelings? I feel horrible.
|
After weeks, I went back to school today. I was confident and truly wanted to be brave and act as if everything is ok. I still have some scars on my face and neck (my parents beat me with a wire).
&#x200B;
when I entered class, every one began to ask me about my scars, I told them that I my father accidently hit the door on my face while i was behind the door. they were suspicious but i didn't care much/
&#x200B;
I lied to the teachers too, i told them that my father accidently hit the door on my face while i was behind the door. they believed me.
&#x200B;
what really hurts is that today i tried my best to concentrate but couldn't. when people are talking to me i feel like i cant understand them, we had a test and i couldn't solve any question. i was always good at tests/exams, i am top at my class but today i felt insanely not normal.
&#x200B;
everyone were staring at me, it was hard.
&#x200B;
then, i saw my ex with a girl. she was sitting on his lap. when i saw them, i started crying and run out. he run after me, he saw my face with some scars. he immediately understood that my parents did it (he is my best friend for 10 years).
&#x200B;
he started asking me what happened, he was worried but i was just embarrassed because kids where watching us. we went far from school, i tried my best to not cry but tears kept on rolling and i told him ''its your fault that i am crying'' ''you left me after all this years''
&#x200B;
he said that he didn't leave me, he hugged me. he wanted to talk more about it but i couldn't. we went to my brothers house where i live now. that's when i told him everything that have happened. my brother wasn't home yet.
&#x200B;
i asked him if he doesn't really want us to be together again, he couldn't answer so i asked about his relationship with that girl, he said that she was just a girl he knows and that there is nothing between them. then he said that he loves me and a lot. he said that he loves me as a woman and not only as a friend. he said that he wants a real relationship, a serious one. he also asked me about my feelings. i said that i love him too (idk if i do love him or not, i lied). he was really happy, he was smiling and said that we should start from 0 and should forget all the bad things. that he will be with me through all my hardships.
&#x200B;
then we just cuddled and he told me to just talk about everything that bothers me and so i did talk for 2 hours (i think) then i fell asleep, i sleep most of the time when i cry a lot.
&#x200B;
when i woke up, my brother and my bf were talking, my bf told my brother everything that happened today. we ordered delicious food, well my brother believes that if he give me delicious food or buys me best clothes/shoes that i will be happy. my bf ate with us and then left.
&#x200B;
i feel exhausted, i really feel so uncomfortable and confused. i just want to vanish. but anyways, AITA/ was I an \*\*\*hole?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
zcmEW2gpXkgjP2H72PSvrdM1yt2jdPPW
|
b91y13
|
{
"description": "almost getting my host family's expensive bike stolen because I did not know how to properly lock a bike",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for almost getting my host family's expensive bike stolen because I did not know how to properly lock a bike.
|
So I am an Aupair in Germany from the Texas and the family I work for is having me use one of their very expensive bikes (almost $2000) to get around. I haven't used bikes much before because my hometown was unbikeable and unwalkable. The most my bike has cost was around $150 from Target and we always left ours out because we lived a safe rural area. I knew the bike I was using was expensive and was trying to be careful with it. I always made sure to lock ect. I also made it clear to my host parents that I knew how to ride a bike but had not used bikes much because of the hometown situation. I never learned that locking a bike around the front tire was one of the worst places to lock a bike. Generally I do lock around the body of the bike but there was very little room to park my bike in the rack and I could only fit in the front tire and locked it. We came back to the busy street where it was parked only to find the tire left behind and I freaked out. Luckily my friend spotted two sketchy guys down the road and I ran towards them. They quickly biked off and I found the rest of the bike left hidden behind the wall. We made it back home safe and with the bike. My host dad seemed understanding and didn't blame me because he told me to take that bike and the area is generally safe. Others in the family were very upset with me and treating me like I was an idiot and that it was all my fault because I locked the bike around the front tire as if this is knowledge everyone has. No one ever told me how to properly lock it. I have learned not to do that again, but I feel like they are upset with me and putting a lot of the blame on me. My friend who is also a nanny with the family was with me when I locked it and didn't say anything. I don't know what do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
NzXb1fEo1I2ssCKoIGA7OXef2qhP22kv
|
asph3w
|
{
"description": "calling my girlfriend on a seemingly rude comment that she made",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for calling my girlfriend on a seemingly rude comment that she made?
|
So, I've been seeing this person for over a month and I've noticed several red flags in terms of her laughing AT me when I say something dumb and brushing me off in favor of friends. Last night, we had plans to see each other at 7:30 PM. When I showed up at her place, she was talking on the phone with her friend. After giving her a kiss, I sat on the couch and read a book as she washed dishes in the kitchen with her friend on speaker phone. I sat on the sidelines for a little over 30 minutes, getting gradually more and more annoyed that I was being ignored, but also telling myself that it's okay because my girlfriend was just being a good friend, etc.
Finally, after 30 minutes, my girlfriend tells her friend, "I've got to let you go because I've got some company over." I'm happy because at last she acknowledged me, but then I hear her side of the conversation go like this, "Don't worry about it. It's okay. Ha, bros before...what's the female equivalent...AHAHAHAHAHAHA (loud laughter that seems to go on forever).
Then she finally hangs up and comes over to sit by me on the couch and I tell her that I thought her comment (basically saying, 'bros before hos' and laughing about it) to her friend was rude and she tells me that it's just an expression and proceeds to say that SHE is the one who should be offended because I would take her words so personally and think that she was trying to belittle me and that she was just trying to have some fun with her friend who was going through relationship problems.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
WqK0aifQPys1IMb8HmPOuXsfQ7qvu7Kh
|
agxr9m
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friend for ripping a dollar",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend for ripping a dollar.
|
Context: I wan in vlass with my friend. I gave him a dollar as a joke for his pencil. I asked him to give it back and i gave him a new pencil plus his old one. He refused to give it back. I got mad at him and ttied to get the money back, but he would not give me it. After fighting about the dollar, it ripped.
After it ripped, i got mad and walked away, as he walked around telling people about it, trying to look as cool as possible.
So, AITA for getting mad at him for ripping a dollar and making himself look cool from it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
DdeSQLHSo7Z2sr9DH9pj4MUiq5L7dBVQ
|
a59hd4
|
{
"description": "using his stuff after he told me not to",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for using his stuff after he told me not to?
|
Roommate and I had a deal, we take turns buying crates of water and we share each other's water that way. Recently there's been some drama and he told me not to grab anything from him anymore. I ignored him and kept doing it anyways because it was our deal from the beginning. Earlier this morning he sent me this threat and saying that because I had a friend over he didn't kick my ass when he saw me "red handed." I'm thinking of just reporting him to campus officials as I have evidence against him.
This is the short convo between us:
Roommate(RM): Listen. I'm only gonna say this once you fucking cunt. If you don't go and buy another crate of water by today. I'm making your life miserable cuz your bitchass said fine I won't grab anymore. And there you go grabbing my shit before I went to sleep and maybe even before that. just cuz your friend is there. So just buy another crate and we'll be fine.
Me: Lol I'm not buying shit
U can take those bottles and shove them wwaaaay up ur ass
RM: Okay. Just know that I warned your bitch ass.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
NsexAm5m9dgTQ69pNtKmwXtvnx5Ob1pa
|
aqprov
|
{
"description": "blocking my cousin off all social media",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for blocking my cousin off all social media?
|
So I have a really rocky relationship with my mom. She left when I was 6, married another guy and moved to a different country and left me with my dad. As you can probably tell, this messed me up for a long time and I’m only now starting to get over it (i’m 20 now).
I don’t want to have anything to do with my mom, she basically abandoned me for a man and only talked to me once every few years. The last time we talked (2 years ago) we got into a big argument and I told her to never call or message me again. I consider my stepmom that my dad married shortly after she left as more than a mom than her.
Recently I had a cousin around my age on my mom’s side (her sisters daughter) that lives in America contact me on Facebook. I thought this was strange since I never met her before and am unsure of how she found my Facebook, but I accepted her request. She said she wanted to get to know me since I was one of the only cousins on our side that was around her age. We added each other on Snapchat, instagram etc. and she seemed okay, I didn’t initially really have much reason to worry.
The other day I thought about it all and I figured that maybe she was acting on behalf of my mom and it pissed me off. Of course I don’t have proof but I feel like that’s how she got my Facebook, and that’s why she’s trying to get to know me. I got scared that she was saying everything that I told her to my mom. I blocked her off every social media platform on a whim but now I’m wondering if I made the right choice. I didn’t even ask for an explanation or let her her know that I don’t want her to contact me, I just blocked her. But at the same time I really don’t want anything to do with my mom and if that means I have no contact with everyone on her side then I guess that’s what it’ll have to be. But AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
NTgtiEdad5BpMyvgGVuMauNh2a2heID1
|
avhe8x
|
{
"description": "being sarcastic to my class monitor",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being sarcastic to my class monitor?
|
So today my class have a Geography exam. And I saw that everyone who sit nearby me were all cheating in the exam by using small sheets of paper that contain the exam's answer. Cause none learn Grography properly in my class.
Our class monitor. At the beginning of the exam, shouted loudly : "NO CHEATING GUYS, EVERYONE WHO CHEATS WILL BE BANNED FROM THE EXAM, ACCORDING TO THE PROCTOR" and she was really serious that moment, could tell it on her face.
And everyone shook their head, or told her to knock her hypocrisy off (she cheated several times on exams)
But when we were taking our exam, one of my classmate was caught cheating. And she was the class monitor. Everyone laughed so hard, and she was banned from the exam. None got caught in the rest of the exam, although almost everyone in the class were cheating.
After taking the exam, me and some friends stood right around her seat, smiled or sniggered. And I raised my voice, sarcastically : "nO cHeAtInG gUyS, ur such hypocritical"
Everyone laughed again
She bended down her face, silently and looked kinda miserable.
Just dont know if I was the asshole. After doing it the girls in my class keep repeating about her hypocrisy and making fun of it.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
t5quT1VC8MJZV0u2mNT8pGIqnGfQVh7o
|
abms7w
|
{
"description": "raising my kid vegan",
"pronormative_score": 76,
"contranormative_score": 40
}
|
AITA for raising my kid vegan?
|
I'm a 23 year old mom to a five year old daughter. I've been vegan for ten years, so when I became a single mom at 18 i decided I'd raise my daughter vegan too, because that's how I eat and the sort of morals I'd like my daughter to have in the future if it's what she chooses. Of course, I make sure with my doctor that my daughter is completely healthy in her diet every time we visit, and I wouldn't continue with the lifestyle if it was making my daughter worse off in any way.
I started dating a new guy two years ago, who is not vegan. He is totally respectful and eats vegan in my house too, which I really appreciate. No issue there. However, we went to his mother's house for Christmas dinner on Boxing Day. I asked in advance if his mom wanted me to make my own food for me and my daughter to take, which she did apart from the veg, so I came fully prepared to feed us and I also brought a couple vegan desserts for everyone to try if they wanted to. My boyfriend's mom had the whole extended family over that day so there were a lot of other kids there, so naturally my daughter started playing with them.
After we all ate and were ready for dessert, I noticed her cutting the desserts for the kids (they were sitting at a little table altogether) but I didn't see her cutting either of the ones I'd bought, so I asked my daughter if she wanted anything and she said she did, so I left it and assumed my boyfriend's mom was just cutting her's last to avoid cross contamination or whatever. Five minutes later, I notice that she still hasn't cut the vegan dessert, and I look at my daughter to see her eating a dessert that's not vegan that she had prepared. I was fuming, because she had gone out of her way to serve my daughter after everyone else so I assumed she'd done this so she could sneak the non-vegan meal to my kid, but at the same time I assumed I'm just paranoid so I went into the kitchen to ask her why she'd done that (in a friendly way just in case it was an accident) and she basically snapped something along the lines of "well it's Christmas, what does it matter if your daughter gets to taste real food for once in her life?" and basically goes on to say it'd put some "meat on her bones" and that I "don't know how to feed a child properly". I know it sounds ridiculous, I was outraged and couldn't believe it, but she walked off right after back into the dining room so I just followed her back after a few second, calmly explained to my daughter that she'd been mistakenly given the wrong dessert (which made her really upset, because she loves animals) and gave her a small slice of one of the desserts I'd brought.
&#x200B;
After we left, I was still pretty angry about what happened and asked my daughter if she was okay, and she basically ended up telling me that she asked my boyfriend's mom why it wasn't one of the things I'd brought along and she just shushed her and said it's okay.
&#x200B;
Now I know this isn't catastrophic or anything but I just feel so disrespected and undermined by a woman who I already felt like didn't approve of me. It also upset my daughter a bit to know she'd eaten animal products (just wanna say, I haven't told her the gross parts of animal products, just that it hurts them and I think that's enough until she's older). So basically, WIBTA if I brought this back up to my boyfriend's mom and told her how upsetting it was? I want her to know it's unacceptable but she already doesn't seem to like me so I might just not eat with her again or if I do, pay closer attention to make sure she's not doing something similar.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 74,
"EVERYBODY": 15,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 76,
"WRONG": 40
}
|
RIGHT
|
49PKrzz53GRfIBnhXtuEpvogIyKqlVIt
|
arrt4y
|
{
"description": "asking the parent seated behind me on a plane to make their kid stop kicking, and refusing to adjust my seat tilt",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking the parent seated behind me on a plane to make their kid stop kicking, and refusing to adjust my seat tilt?
|
I was on an overnight international flight in coach. I lean my seat back to try and rest (can't sleep well on planes).
After a while I start feeling kicks in the back of my seat. I turn around.
Me: excuse me, your child is kicking me.
Child's dad: could you lean your seat up? She doesn't have enough leg room.
Me: can you just make her stop? I'm trying to sleep.
Dad: I can't control her if you don't lean up.
Me: I believe that you can!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
R0XAahFjXCuqNYwevvhSTe4aYFshSkzh
|
a1477i
|
{
"description": "not doing something my girlfriend asked me to do quickly enough",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I didn't do something my girlfriend asked me to do quickly enough?
|
My (33m) girlfriend (39f) bought a Groupon for an activity and asked me to book a day for it. Due to the nature of the Groupon and our respective schedules, the only day we'd be able to attend the event is a Friday.
She sent me an email confirmation of the event on a Thursday, and we both knew the next day wouldn't work. The expiration of the Groupon is 180 days after purchase, so there's no rush to book the event, in my mind. And since we had a busy weekend coming up (including spending Saturday night together at my dad's birthday dinner and then an expo show, and heading out of town the following day for our one-year anniversary), we didn't have much time to talk about a day that worked for both of us.
On Monday, I brought it up to her that she also made a spa appointment for herself on this coming Friday, so that was also out. And, due to work and other small responsibilities of life, I haven't brought it up with her again yet in order to figure out a day (she runs a restaurant and is generally always busy with something, juggling a dozen things - I'm not so keen on that, and prefer to tackle one thing at a time, or at least not juggle multiple things if I don't have to).
Five days after the email, she forwarded me an email that she sent to them, asking about what other availability they had. About a half hour after that, she forwarded another one saying they called her and so she tentatively booked the day for the Friday after this coming one. She asked if that day worked for me and I said yes. In her response, she tossed a passive aggressive "Great. Although you were supposed to book this."
And, for the rest of the evening, she's been cold and dismissive. My attempts to call her (just to ask how her evening was) were ignored, and when she finally texted me at midnight (when she goes to bed), she said let's talk tomorrow. I said okay, love you. She responded "OK thanks". I then asked her what was wrong, and over an hour later she said she'd call me after a party she's attending tomorrow.
So, am I an asshole for not immediately booking an event that didn't need to be booked immediately, and that we wouldn't have even been able to attend for weeks? I said I would take care of it and I absolutely would have, except I feel she didn't give me a reasonable amount of time to do so, and didn't state any expectations in regards to how quickly she wanted me to book it.
**TL;DR** Girlfriend asked me to book an event for a Friday that worked for me. Five days later, she booked it herself and got upset with me since this was something I was supposed to do. She feels I didn't do what I said I would, and I feel she didn't give me enough time, especially since there wasn't a need to rush to book the event.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
k06dhU639kPNbvK9MqjW2q6WzwL8LPBi
|
abfn7c
|
{
"description": "wanting to stay home for new years",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to stay home for New Years
|
Been living together for over 9 years. Every year for New Years we are obligated to go to church for New year and be with his family, never mine. And every year after church he will leave me at home to go party with his friends. AITA for asking to stay home this year just us two?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
u9s3X9JbmG6f4ScWjAl2JOiJNPwW6BMd
|
b0op6f
|
{
"description": "getting my cousin what she wanted instead of what her mom told me to buy her",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I get my cousin what she wanted instead of what her mom told me to buy her?
|
I tried to post before but I did it wrong so apologies, still fairly new to reddit.
Anyways, my cousin is turning 15 in 2 weeks, she is very much like me and LOVES everything I love, specially music and style.
My family isn’t into the stuff we are into, a couple of months ago my cousin asked her mom for a Queen (the band) sweater and my aunt said no cuz it was “ugly and I wont spend money on trash” now, this bothered me because when I was younger my family was very mean to me as well about my taste in music and hobbies and I didn’t want my cousin to feel shamed for being herself so a week later I found a coupon to the store about bought it for my cousin (only costed me $30).
She was SO SO happy!! She thanked me and my husband a million times and my aunt wasn’t upset about the purchase but kept telling her it didn’t look good, we assured her it looked great.
For her birthday I wanted to get her something special, I asked her if she wanted something specific and she said anything bon jovi or star wars.
Soo knowing she is a kid that loves vintage I was ready to buy her a record player with Bon Jovi’s best hits and a Queen vinyl as well. My husband thinks she is gonna go bananas when she sees it as nobody else in the family would get her stuff like this.
I was waiting to get paid to buy it but my aunt called me yesterday and said “I know you so if you’re spending on your cousin please buy her something useful”...
WIBTA if I get my cousin the record player anyways? I feel like a but of an asshole challenging my aunt about her kid but I think my cousin would like my idea much better?? Help!!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
b5uf4bh4NlrDMm6vzSvAnKMSx9kfsYWv
|
ajbuox
|
{
"description": "leaving when we were supposed to meet up",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving when we were supposed to meet up?
|
Recently my cousin hooked me up with a friend of hers. I met him giving her a ride to her group and he seemed very nice. After not talking for a week or two she gave him my number and he texted me. We got along okay and decided to meet up while he was at work. He works as a security guard at a hotel at night so he doesnt do much but sit in the car and sorta monitor the area.
Basically he keeps texting me to drive over (mind you this is a bit far up in my city front where I live). He knew I also wasnt entirely enthused to do so because of my nosey grandparents, but I went anyway.
So I get there and text him 5 times; where I am and that I'm there. Absolutely nothing. I had to get home before my grandparents got suspicious (yes I'm over 18) and he knew that but still no reply. So after 10 to 15 minutes I left. And of course halfway through my drive he starts calling and texting me and asking if I'm still there.
I know circumstantially something could of happened but why wouldnt he tell me? On top of that he knew that this was time sensitive and the 5 times I text him while I'm there he didnt respond! Was he wrong to not text me the reason as to why he left me hanging for succ a long while knowing I couldnt stay long, or am I the asshole who just left too early?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
YsYIDJb5EAow6uj8dydlsBxjLwupoUUd
|
ard44q
|
{
"description": "getting mad at aunt for leaving child at my house during my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting mad at aunt for leaving child at my house during my birthday
|
FIYI this is a short story. It was my birthday a week ago (turned 17) and was planning to have a birthday my. For context we invited my aunt and a few other people to my birthday. So I was waiting for my guests until ... the aunt came she left off her spawn of a child at my house saying she was going to come back after laundry. She does laundry and not even lying has the audacity to tell me Happy Birthday while texting on her phone and leaves without ever saying Hi or bye. I gotta tell you my biggest pet peeve is people not being polite. She leaves and before she does I tell her she is a rude and disgusting human being. I work at a computer store and she comes in and tells me she needs a cpu for her work computer. She doesn't even acknowledge her rude behavior and I refuse to give her service and ask a coworker to give her service. I was told by my brother that this is bad and immature behavior. BTW the aunt in this story scrolls through Reddit every now and then. So Rebecca if you see this well let's see you may even end up on r/pettyrevenge ;)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
dToYqIUWAY1lmT2IiT2WoCY7bLWabeyq
|
b20ig5
| null |
AITA Family and I move away from hometown of 10 years, and now i want to go back.
|
Im a 17m
Backstory:
Im kind of bad at making friends. When i was younger i had my face shoved into the percy jackson series or minecraft. It wasnt really until my sophomore year of highschool when i really started to branch out. I got my first job and got my license. I went out to movies (infinity war opening night) and went to walmart to dick around sometines. Long story short, i cherish alot of my friends.
Anyways, November of last year we pack up and move and i tell all my friends bye; we will play video games; ill come down and visit, etc. Its now march and ive played with my friends four times and went to visit twice.
Along with moving away 150 miles came a new highschool. My old one had nearly 200 people in my class, and my new one has about 25. Most of the other dudes in my old class were at least chill with me as i was kinda the jokester ( one time i painted my hands green while following around our art teacher around her class while reading genesis). Anyways, im having a hard time fitting in at the new school. Everyone there grew up with each other and have lived in their small town since they can remember.
For the first month it was fine, then i went on autopilot for a long while, had a breakdown in January, and come home feeling empty and reminiscing about my old friends nowadays. I told my parents about this and they are essentially guilt tripping me into not going back, ie we would miss you, everything would be quiet, etc.
I will admit i could try to make friends at the new place but its hard for me to relate to them and thats how i mainly make friends.
Am i an asshole or are my parents assholes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Tl2xHOogdq0yvxE6WhZvwpZGvJItD7Np
|
amyt47
|
{
"description": "refusing to speak to my dying mother",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to speak to my dying mother?
|
I'm writing this on a throwaway bc I'm pretty sure my main account is pretty easy to trace back to me, which I'd rather not happen. Also I'm on mobile so apologies for any formatting mistakes. TLDR at the end.
I'm one of seven kids, and my mum walked out on the family shortly after my youngest sister was born 18 years ago. Mum was very young herself at this point, only in her mid 20s and her reasoning for walking out was that being a mother was holding her back from achieving her full potential - by which she apparently meant kids were an inconvenience to her desired party lifestyle of heavy drinking and drug use almost daily. During my childhood she constantly flipped between relatively regular visits and contact with us to us not hearing a word from her for weeks or even months on end. My dad is far too nice for his own good and never made any attempt to block us from seeing her, even encouraging us to give her a chance every time she pretended she wanted to get sober because "she's your mother guys, at least let her try."
Thing is, even when she was present, she was a terrible mother. She was constantly either drunk or high when "caring" for us and was incredibly manipulative and emotionally abusive. She was also occasionally physically abusive and regularly dated men who were incredibly violent, both towards her and towards us. One guy even put one of my brothers in the hospital - and mum went on to marry him not even a year later.
The thing that really broke any semblance of a bond for me was what happened when I was a young teen. Between the ages of 11-13, my brother and I pretty much lived at her place about 80% of the time - back then she insisted it was because she just wanted us there but looking back it was more likely so she could claim child benefit. At this time she was in a houseshare with some family friends who were a married couple. Over the course of my time living there, this couple pretty horrendously sexually abused me. This would happen every night that mum was not at the house (read: Almost every single night). When I finally got the courage to tell about it, my mother sided with my abusers, her reasoning being that a) she knew them very well and *she* didn't think they'd do that, b) my brother wasn't abused by them and she couldn't see why they would only do it to me and not also him and c) they said they didn't and they'd never lied to her before and I had - by which she meant there were a couple occasions in the past I had said that I felt unwell to get the day off school when I really felt fine. She even went so far as to defend this couple in court.
Unsurprisingly this whole ordeal really screwed me up and my teenage years were a mess of alcoholism, crimes and heroin addiction. I cleaned myself up around 20-21 because I couldn't go on hurting my dad and grandparents the way I was. I'm now 25, have been fully sober for almost four years and haven't spoken to my mother in six. I'm happy now, in a very healthy long term relationship with the man of my dreams and on the right path to having my dream job.
However, at the start of December my mum started trying to get involved with my siblings and I again. I informed her through my sister that I had no intention of ever having anything to do with her again and, aside from a few failed attempts to reach me through my boyfriend, she seemed to accept it at first. All three of my sisters and one of my brothers seemed willing to forgive her and forget what she did right away. Of my two other brothers, one was cautiously optimistic and treading lightly in approaching a potential new relationship with her. The other was the one who was hospitalised by her husband and was on the same page as me with staunchly refusing to have anything to do with her.
However, around three weeks ago, my mother revealed she has lung cancer and has been informed that she's unlikely to see the end of this year. She said she wants to rebuild a relationship with all of her children while she still has the time and even the brother who was on my side seems to be giving her a chance. She has repeatedly acknowledged that she "wasn't the best mother", however she refuses to actually apologise and won't acknowledge that she was in the wrong for siding with my abusers. She still insists that I "blew it all out of proportion", though she admits she no longer thinks I made it up completely. To be honest, even if she did apologise - while I would definitely be grateful and would accept the apology - I don't think I could ever forgive her for turning her back on me like that, and I have no interest in having any kind of relationship with her or attending her funeral when she does pass away.
My siblings and some other family members are starting to get fed up with my refusal to have anything to do with my mum and are insisting I'm in the wrong for denying a dying woman her last wish. AITA for not wanting to repair something that's beyond broken?
*TLDR: my mother - who was emotionally abusive throughout my childhood and sided with a couple who raped me on multiple occasions - has lung cancer with a very short prognosis and wants to repair her relationship with me and my siblings. I have no interest in doing so and am being made to feel like the bad guy for it.*
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
7YeDUFk5ipC0NgEeEvlz8KXszDTLJFCi
|
ackd3x
|
{
"description": "no longer going to Family functions",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For No Longer Going To Family Functions
|
For context, my parents divorced when I was young. My mom had a few partners, all of which were frankly terrible. One in particular she was with for a decade, and he was verbally and physically abusive. She's with someone who's decent now, but the relationship is still strained from my childhood. My Dad re-married to a woman who's not outright terrible but is very preachy and tries hard to bring up things. Lacks tact really. She'll ask you why you're not having any more kids in the middle of Christmas dinner.
I've been going to family functions for my entire life thus far and I was hoping my family would abandon a lot of the less desirable aspects of both my own and our family's past, and not bring up a few of my own shortcomings in life; but every family function on either side devolves into discussion on the past and shortcomings. It doesn't feel healthy to me.
So this Christmas I consciously decided not to go to any Christmas functions with my family. I already have had a stressful year and just feeling like I would have to contend with these things just made me anxious and uncomfortable.
They all took this as I expected. I've been picked apart for not going and they're calling me an asshole. I explained in a more polite way that I didn't want to be in a situation where these things would be brought up, but they don't seem to understand. So now I'm questioning myself and wondering if A) I did the right thing and/or B) if there's anything I could've done differently?
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HISTORICAL
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|
WIBTA if I ditched a project partner and did the whole thing individually?
|
Super quick WIBTA because this project is due in 9 hours -- eek! We're terrible students for just starting it now, I know. It's a very simple project that's only one page long and consists of 10 sentences in French (it's a very, very basic 100-level course for people who have just started to learn the language). We weren't assigned partners but we were given the option of working either alone or in pairs, and for this particular class we are given "in-class" partners to discuss the material with. My class partner automatically assumed we were doing this project together but is now being a complete headache. He Google translated everything (which now sounds really choppy but also far more advanced than what we know) and did all the "work" before I could get to any of it, even though I told him a week ago that I could only do it now due to other conflicting exams. It's 15% of my overall grade and I really don't want to do poorly. I am easily able to pull together my own version of this project and submit it individually. He would still be able to submit his Google-translated project as he has already completed it.
tl;dr My project partner in a language class Google Translated the whole thing and I want to flake because I *need* a good grade in this course. I'm seriously considering just finishing an entirely new project on my own right now because I can't afford to get a bad grade on this.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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"description": "telling my fuck buddy that shes not a \"girlfriend\" type to me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA For telling my fuck buddy that shes not a "girlfriend" type to me.
|
This happened a little over a week ago. I've been seeing a woman I met on tinder for casual sex. This has been going on and off, for five months. She is not my girlfriend, and she knows that. I am not her boyfriend. I see other women besides her.
Early on, she kept trying to lead us into a relationship by asking me to attend dinners or visit her recital or come to a friends art show. None of this interests me, I explain that to her. She is very competent at sex, and in addition to having a great body she is also very submissive which I enjoy since I am dominant.
However, despite me laying down these ground rules, she introduced me as her boyfriend when I arrived to pick her up at a friends house. Not wanting to embarrass her and ruin the sex later on I don't protest, but then I confront her after the fact. She said she didn't know what to call me.
I let it go, but I start seeing her less and less frequently, and she texts me that shes misses me. I ignore it.
Three weeks ago I started to officially date my bosses daughter. She is motivated, classy, attractive, and it doesn't hurt to have an in with your boss. I announce this on my facebook which she ((the tinder girl) sees.
She texts me asking why I told her a few weeks before that I wasn't interested in a relationship, and why I'm ignoring her. I tell her honestly that she has made me upset with her clinginess, and that she is not a "girlfriend" type to me. I then told her not to contact me again, and that I would contact her if I wanted to get back in touch.
She said ok, but that I was being very mean to her and that I'm being abusive. Why would you want to fuck me if im abusive? Why call me if im abusive? She says to please call her as she misses me.
For now I'm cutting her off.
Am I the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "getting mad at my friend over a parking issue",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend over a parking issue?
|
My friend and I went out last night to meet our usual friends. I usually pick him up and drop him off whenever we go anywhere because his car is broken. I dont mind it, he lives close by anyway. Not once have I asked him to pay for gas or pay for anything of mine. This time I asked for gas money because I was borrowing my dads car and he wanted me to pay him for gas and he offered 5 bucks which didnt even pay for the gas we used, but I was cool with it.
We went out and discovered that we had to pay for parking which was 5 bucks. I didnt have cash or debit card on me to get out cash and it's a cash lot. If I did have cash on me I would pay it no problem, you got gas, I'll get parking. So I told him to get it and he goes "no that is not what was agreed upon. I'm sorry but I didnt agree to pay for this. If I'm getting gas you have to get parking." Well neither did I, and if I knew we had to pay for parking I would have bought cash, but I didnt. So I told him that I dont have cash or a debit card so I cant pay. He doesnt have cash on him but does have a debit card, but he reiterates adding he has bills to pay.
This dude makes 53k a year, and I never ask him for anything but this one time I asked him to spot me, he tells me no. Anyway I tell him "dude it's not like this is an everyday thing. If I had the money I would pay it, but I dont so either we drive home and you give me gas money or you pay for parking and we meet our friends." Its like literally 10 bucks total that I'm asking him to pay, literally not breaking the bank.
Anyway he refuses so we look around and we find street parking and we park there, and I'm a little tense and keep worrying about my car because I'm not 100% sure if were able to park there, I actually went to check on the car while we went from one bar to another to make sure I didnt get a ticket. (Btw while we were at the club he bought a drink. I think its oddly suspicious if you throw such a fit over 5 bucks because you dont have the funds, but buy yourself a 10 dollar drink. That made me realize that he did have money but he didnt want to help me out even though I needed it).
I never do favors to get anything back, and had I had the cash, I would have paid for parking myself no problem no questions asked because that's just how I am. But the one time I asked him to spot me he says he can't because "he didnt agree to this". It makes me realize that if he could help me out, he wouldn't, meanwhile, I go out of my way to help him out. Now that hes done this I'm rethinking the limits of my friendship with him, and I want to stop giving him rides because of what I realized.
Now redditors, am I the asshole for asking a friend to pay for parking and gas? And would I be the asshole if I stopped giving him rides because of this?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend",
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"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend?
|
We’ve been together for about 10 months now and things started going downhill at about 6. I’m still pretty young (high school) and I don’t believe there are “serious relationships” at my age
So a quick backstory. The night before of this I was going through a really bad breakdown so I decided to text him. He skipped over my texts and said he really tired and wanted to sleep. I felt a little bit hurt that he didn’t seem to care so I talked to my friend who I call my brother ( this is important later). He made me feel better enough to get it together and calm down.
Anyway the next day my bf apologizes for falling asleep. I was still a bit mad at him so I brushed him off for a while but finally caved in and talked to him. He asked me if I was ok and I told him I was fine and that I talked it out with my brother. He got really mad at me for calling my friend that. He said something about my friend that was just messed up so I snapped. I broke up with him on the spot and left to go home. He later texted me apologizing and sending me pity texts so I just ignored him. Now he’s just threatening both of us and accusing me of cheating (which I didn’t do). Am I the asshole for dumping him?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not wanting to take care of my dad",
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"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take care of my dad?
|
My dad is 53 and has had numerous injuries over his life. Sometimes I get stuck having to take care of him.
In the past it didn’t bother me as much, but he has had a really bad back for s long time and still insists on doing things like riding mountain bikes which can result in even bigger issues.
He mainly rides road bikes and that doesn’t cause much of an issue, but last year he decided to skate again with his girlfriends son and completely shattered his ankle. His foot was facing the wrong way and his bone came out even.
His girlfriend, my grandparents and I had to help him a lot for a long time.
Yesterday he messed up his back again and now I’m left to take care of him at home. Luckily my grandparents take him to the hospital, but when he is home I’m left to do everything he needs.
I have a major test worth 30% of my grade on Thursday and his is really throwing a wrench in my studying, because I hate being distracted while I try to study.
AITA for thinking this is his fault and it’s unfair that other people have to keep messing up their schedules to help him?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "distancing myself from a depressed friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Distancing Myself From A Depressed Friend?
|
I’ve know my friend [F15] four three years now and have in the past year been distancing myself. I love her, but she gets me really down.
To start off, let’s call her Jen. She’s always struggled with mental health and depression, but has gotten worse with time. She goes to the psychologist, but doesn’t have much support from family and isn’t having much progress.
She doesn’t really have any friends except for me and can get really clingy. The thing is, I struggle with my own mental health issues and try to surround myself with as much positivity as possible. Jen is a very negative person. Whenever I go to talk to her she’ll start talking about her problems at home or how she hates life and everything is horrible. It’s all she talks about. She complains about being ignored by the rest of the class, but when people try talking to her she’s always on her phone and gets pissed off with them. Being around her really drains me mentally because it’s constant complaining.
The breaking point was at my quinceañera (15th birthday) last march. As a Latina, it’s supposed to be one of the most important days of my life and my family had spent lots of money planning the party. Jen managed to ruin the night for me. She continuously complained about the music, criticizing the genre (salsa, merengue, etc), said it was boring and insisted I stayed at her side the whole night. She sat with a group of friends from school at one table and I was at another with my family. She spoke with none of the girls and several of them told me she was acting weird. I tried dancing several times in the night, but she’d start glooming. Towards the end, when most guest had left and she was still present because she’d be sleeping over at my house, she asked my sister “when are we leaving this hellhole.” I ended up crying. To this day, I get so angry when I think back to that night. My parents know I didn’t enjoy what was supposed to be a great party and they think it’s because it wasn’t big enough and they should’ve spent more money.
The reason I continue trying is because she often says I’m her only true friend and I don’t want to leave someone who’s struggling with depression. People say it’s important to support them and to turn your back on them in their darkest times is wrong. But, she’s affecting my own mental state. I don’t know what to do.
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to be friends anymore",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends anymore
|
Just so you know, I only really have three friends. I don't really want to be friends with any of them anymore. The first friend is someone I used to smoke weed with all the time. Ever since I stopped smoking, we barely hang out. He recently started to get into cocaine, and has become very toxic, angry, and critical. We used to be really good frinds, but I don't really want anything to do with him at this point. I've made it very clear that I don't think he should be doing coke, but he seems to think there's nothing wrong with it.
The second friend is someone I used to play video games with almost every day. Online, not in person. We started playing about 2 years ago. He used to tell me things like "oh it's so nice to have someone to game with". But ever since he found other friends to game, he literally never does anything with me. He still texts me stupid video game news and whatnot though. I recently blocked his number and deleted him off my friends list. I did this because I actually get really angry when I see him playing with other people. Only because he never plays with me anymore. But part of me feels really bad for doing this. AITA for doing this?
The third friend is someone I've known my entire life. He really is a nice guy, but about a year ago he started streaming on twitch. Now he barely does anything with me. I definitely let it get to me way too much, but it's like pulling teeth to get him to hang out. He clearly cares about streaming more than our friendship, even though we've been best friends our entire life. AITA for wanting to give up and just not talk to him anymore. If I do this I'm not gonna have any friends.
Sorry if the formatting is bad. I'm typing this out on my phone
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling my parents about a lady who tried to drive me home",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my parents about a lady who tried to drive me home (I’ll explain why I might be)
|
I was walking home from my high school today at around 3:30. After a mile or so I had to cross a few intersections. After I crossed the second light, I see a small white sedan parked in the grass on the side of a busy street. There is no spot for cars there she pulled off the road on some grass. The persons window was rolled down and at the time I was like Oh shit I don’t want to be kidnapped. I walked about 10 feet to the side of the car to be safe and a lady says to me “Do you want me to drive you to your house”. Keep in mind I’ve never seen her before and she didn’t mention my neighborhood. I immediately said no and then the opposite direction of the car. She sped away really fast. I told my parents later and now they want to get police to see the camera from a nearby school to see the license. I feel bad because she might have been a nice person who now is going to be in a whole ordeal. So AITI for telling my parents about this lady.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "confronting seat-stealers and ruining the opening for others",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For confronting seat-stealers and ruining the opening for others?
|
Was having an awful day, but excited for that night’s premiere of Pacific Rim. I had reserved seats on the largest screen in my city. Picked up my friends, and rush to the theatre. Parking is a bitch, so we end up entering the theatre just as the movie is starting.
I don’t know about you, but the beginning of Pacific Rim is my favourite part of that movie. It’s wild. I didn’t want to ruin it for other people, but when we got to our seats, a couple was sitting in two of them. They obviously snuck into the sold out show, and took half our seats. Given my shitty day, I vow to myself then and there that I’m not giving up my seats to these two shit heads.
I start asking to see their tickets, while standing in the middle of the theatre. They are pretending to be really confused. They say there are still seats left. But I’m not letting up. My friends are suggesting that we just go see another movie.
I’m making a scene now and this guy is now swearing at me, telling me to fuck off. I keep asking to see his ticket so we can dispel this confusion, all while giant robots are being torn apart by awesome fucking Kaijus. Minutes have passed and I’m still there, asking to see their tickets. Eventually, the boyfriend says, “Fuck it, let’s go,” and proceeds to blame me for ruining their night as they finally leave the theatre.
tldr: couple sneak into a movie and take our seats, me and dude create a scene during the best part of the movie.
AMIA for creating a scene after the movie started?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
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|
{
"description": "being upset that my bf was mad at me for leaving our door unlocked",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my bf was mad at me for leaving our door unlocked?
|
Tl;dr My bf won't talk to me after I became hurt that he was frustrated with me for leaving our front door unlocked. It's been two hours. AITA?
You all do such good work here, so maybe you can help me out in seeing this situation clearly.
The details:
My bf (of five years and we're both early 30s) had a rough day at work today, everything seemed to be going wrong for him, and he lost money because of it. He called me while he was on his way home and we talked it out for a while. He seemed upset and disappointed, but this sort of thing has happened before and he usually bounces back, so I assumed our chat had done all that it could to support him in the situation and everything would be okay after some time had passed.
Before work I planned all of our meals for the week, then I went to work, and went grocery shopping after work, and then made dinner for us. My bf is struggling for cash right now, and as I have a steady job, I've been pretty much paying for everything for the last couple of months.
Anyway, my bf came home and got frustrated with me for leaving our door unlocked and leaving some things out, and didn't want to eat the dinner I made him. I felt a little hurt by his snapping frustrations, but didn't initially say anything because I knew he was having a rough day, and me being upset would make it worse. We then got into a slight disagreement about how he handled some of his work things. He could tell I was a bit annoyed so he repeatedly asked what was up, and I eventually burst into tears and told him I was hurt that he didn't eat and that he was frustrated about me leaving the door unlocked etc. (Crying about something as small as this is somewhat typical for me, because I'm overly sensitive and confrontation pretty much always overwhelms me, but it's usually like a burst of tears and then I'm okay again. I'm working on this.)
He scoffed at me, went into another room, closed the door, and essentially hasn't talked to me since. I tried to tell him I totally get that his day sucked and that I wasn't like, super upset, just a little hurt and that it's not a big deal, and he still hasn't said anything despite me trying to explain myself. It's been two hours now. He's obviously mad at me, but AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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af69ay
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{
"description": "wanting to rearrange a date night",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to rearrange a date night?
|
I'll try to be concise. I can't trust my own feelings anymore so need some help knowing if I am indeed just being an asshole here.
Arranges to go for a meal with my SO tonight, then to go for a few drinks in my local pub for her to meet a few of my friends. Tten back to mine to stay over for the first time (spent last night cleaning die 4 hours to prepare). Then go out for breakfast in the morning with my family and meet my parents for the first time.
This has gradually shifted bit by bit to just going for a drink then my SO going back to her place as she has changed her mind...
I'm asking AITA for getting pissed about her more or less cancelling this bug event as I understand it was probably a big deal for her to meet friends, family, stay in my place for the first time and I get she may have just been apprehensive?
The kicker is she went out last night and got very drunk so I suspect that she's actually just very hungover...
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
{
"description": "not wanting my mom to board my car while I'm gone for 5 days",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting my mom to board my car while I’m gone for 5 days?
|
So for background on my cat: I’m in college but still live at home with my mom which means this is also where my cat lives. We have had him for about 16 years since he was a kitten, my parents are divorced but he has always stayed with my mom. He’s got this stomach thing so he’s prone to throwing up if you feed him wrong but he rarely does now (every now and then he’ll have a really bad week and it’s an issue) but he’s had this for 90% of the time we’ve had him at the least. He also does normal cat things like being in birds and other small animals occasionally. Also he’s terrified of other people/animals.
My mom hates him, and much prefers her dog (that attacks me for trying to walk him. Every night. For the past 6 years... and she’s done nothing about... but that’s another thing) and while I’m gone visiting my dad in another state for 5 days she wants to board my. He is terrified of other people/animals and I feel that this is going to be unnecessarily stressful for him and it’s a waists of money that they (my mom and grandma) want me to pay for (that’s another post). She doesn’t want to deal with him and has said as much. But he’s really simple. If he’s being annoying just feed him and if he doesn’t want food check that the pet door is open and if it is just pet him for a few minutes and he’ll be fine. She doesn’t interact with him because she hates that he vomits and brings in dead things which is normal for cats. And she’s lived with him for 16 years. AITA for not wanting her to board him?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b52c15
|
{
"description": "yelling at my classmates at a restaurant after a class hike",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for yelling at my classmates at a restaurant after a class hike?
|
Hi. I’m 15 and today my class went for a hike at a park in an unspecified location. After the hike, we went to a pizza joint to have lunch. After we had ordered, 2 of my classmates, who were cousins, we’ll call them C1 and C2, were punching and pushing each other around. I had calmly told them to stop multiple times, and it was affecting other classmates now, so I tried to ignore it. But they just kept being disruptive and rambunctious, and the teachers weren’t doing anything. So I shot up, slammed my hands on the table and yelled angrily, “C1 STOP IT!!” After that they stopped, but I’m not sure if I’m the asshole or not. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
ast2td
|
{
"description": "not wanting my place of work to pass out free tickets to the circus",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting my place of work to pass out free tickets to the circus?
|
Garden Bros. Shrine circus - they come to town every year, and like clockwork, every year they send us a bunch of free tickets to set out for our guests.
I set them out every year and only a couple get taken.
I just want to toss them in the trash. I just can’t get past the animal cruelty and especially the reputation of Garden Bros. Or the fact that they’re somehow profiting off treating their animals poorly.
What do you think? AITA for not wanting to set the free tickets out? Or should I just get over my own reasons for not supporting the circus and let others make the decision for themselves?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
jWSC13s5gr0irQoZhjz5IiVUcftgcUx8
|
9yl4ge
|
{
"description": "moving to a place that my mom hates just because it reminds her of my dad",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I moved to a place that my mom hates just because it reminds her of my dad?
|
I'm 18 and I live on my own currently. I've been wanting to leave this state for a long time because it's not for me and I have disliked it since we moved here, and my mom fully supports that.
She says she "wants me to do what makes me happy" and that she'll love me no matter what. My dad was an asshole to her and he's also an alcoholic and a prescription addict so there's a lot of bad blood there and he's not been the greatest parent to me for the most part
But for a long time I've been talking about moving to Colorado and my mom hates that. My dad is originally from Littleton, Colorado(Denver area) and I've been there once with him. When I was 16, just me and my dad went for a father/son trip, and it was great. I was very depressed at the time and having a lot of problems but when I was just hanging out with my dad in Colorado and doing all kinds of fun shit, I forgot about it and I felt happy.
My mom insists that the Colorado trip was a bad memory, not a good one, because it was with my dad and he's a "degenerate." Yeah my dad treated her badly and I don't like that. He wasn't there for me as much as he should've been and we don't see each other much now. I don't know how I feel about him but I'd like to go back and I don't consider the trip to be a bad memory at all, he acted like the dad I wished he could've been the rest of the time.
She also told me if I moved there, it would be the "ultimate slap in the face" to her because my dad almost didn't marry her since he was considering going back to Colorado to work as a ski instructor. All of her associations with the state are bad and she says "don't expect me to ever visit you."
If I didn't move to Colorado, then I would move to Wyoming which is another place I really like. My mom's opposed to that too because "funnily" enough my dad lived there for a while.
I'm not interested in these places just because of my dad and I'm not doing anything to spite my mother, I love her very much. I just want to live my own life but she's overprotective of me still, she feels like she has to over-manage me to make up for my dad.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
HdvUiXo9er61xSweTukukGLmD3g3c3Wl
|
b8ia1b
|
{
"description": "dumping the give taking bin at work",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: i dumped the give take bin at work
|
I work in an elementary school cafeteria. We have a bin with ice packs that the kids can put any unused milk or juice in as they are dumping their trays. At the end of the serve its my job to take care of that bin. (Among other things) my boss wants the contents saved in case someone wants it later, Be it one of my coworkers or kids coming in for after school snack. We are to toss it at the end of the week/ when it expires if we can't give it away. (We can't resell it, it's already been sold once.
Here's the thing the give take can get over loaded. In one week we can have three bins heaping. It takes up space in the fridge we need and I am running short of bins to cook with. (Multi purpose bins that fit on a steam table.) Also my boss has been riding me about temps, making sure hot is hot and cold stays cold.
All this together means lately I've been dumping more into the trash rather than keeping it all. Anything not cool to the touch goes in the trash, most of the milks, and any cartons that have gone soggy with foreign moisture or sticky. I have been trying to keep it down to one bin.
Yesterday was a busy day, we are understaffed and I was already behind. It was a full bin, I rooted around to see if the cartons were warm came back with a sticky hand and just dumped the bin. I should have gone through it better but i was in a hurry. My boss texted after work asking about the bin and before I could answer my coworker tossed me under the bus with a series of texts that she wouldn't have sent if she knew it was a group message. Basically 'She dumped the whole thing, I was going to take some of the xxx out of it too but she just dumped it before I could get to it. Shed beed dumping them everyday lately, thought you knew."
Am i the asshole here? My anxiety is through the roof over having to go to work and deal with this issue.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rCRdShkjVq1iwukvgyjTIzEC6xD2YlGL
|
b4qyyw
|
{
"description": "telling my husband I don't have orgasms",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for telling my husband I don’t have orgasms?
|
Hi. I’m a 24 y/o female married to a 25 y/o man. I haven’t had an orgasm in six months. It was October the last time I can remember.
Most days my husband and I have sex I’m used to not getting off but today I was feeling extra frustrated so I asked him
“When’s the last time you had an orgasm?”
He immediately said that it was a loaded question, which it was. I replied with “I haven’t had one since October.”
His first response was a loud groan and “Because I’m SO awful and everything I do is wrong right?” Then he started to get angry while he was driving. He started to shout at me that I always attack him and nothing he does is ever good enough. He said he didn’t like the way I approached the question and I apologized for it but now he’s slamming the door to our room over and over, blowing up my phone, and making half-assed apologize like “I’m sorry you have to bring things up in a way that upsets me”.
I may just be here for validation but seriously. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 8
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 29,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
Hfw67uF7ciaDWYvDWX4tCXHbYXFXk3lm
|
b4m1m7
| null |
AITA for not silence my daughter’s faith?
|
My family are Brahmins. We believe that violence towards animals is wrong. My children and I live in a Western country for three years, my husband for longer. The children attend public school.
&#x200B;
Friday, I receive a letter from my daughter’s kindergarten teacher about my daughter’s behavior at canteen.
&#x200B;
According to teacher, my child tells on what her batchmates eat for lunch. She tells them that meat is flesh and it is unkind to hurt animals. Some of the children are quite affected and refuses to eat their lunches.
&#x200B;
The parents are unhappy. The teacher asks us to silence our daughter from making these beliefs to children.
The teacher is too good and not a bad person. However the issue is eating my brain.
&#x200B;
Other children may say and do, eating flesh is correct. But my daughter may not say, eating flesh is wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
eKe5IJyPGKSrbaCeq33fpuHNROwNhZ6Q
|
a3vjz3
|
{
"description": "wanting to give back my adopted son",
"pronormative_score": 168,
"contranormative_score": 65
}
|
AITA because I want to give back my adopted son?
|
When my husband and I found out that I’m infertile we decided that we would still have children somehow. Given my medical issues, in vitro wasn’t really an option. My husband wanted to try surrogacy but in the end I pointed out that there are so many unwanted children in the world that perhaps adoption was the most selfless route.
It was a long, difficult road but we finally were able to adopt an adorable little boy from Haiti.
He was three when we got him and he’s six years old now. From the outset, he’s been prone to violent tantrums and he’s getting stronger. He’s grown so destructive we had to strip his room down so that it’s just the bare essentials.
We have tried being firm, being soft, giving discipline, giving positive reinforcement, ignoring, being attentive. He’s been working with a therapist for the past year and a half. He’s actually fairly well behaved there.
At home and school, it’s a completely different story. He’s only in first grade and already at risk of expulsion. He’s kicked his teacher. He used play scissors to cut a little girl’s ponytail off when her back was turned (now he’s lost all privileges to use them). He flooded the toilets by flushing his own clothes.
What’s worse is that I don’t think he feels anything for me or for my husband. He behaves slightly better than my husband than for me but my husband is naturally loud and boisterous, even when he’s not angry,so maybe that’s intimidating. But with me, it’s just a nightmare. I’ve been punched, spat on, kicked, slapped, clawed. All by a child that I do everything for. He can be very calm and sweet but he turns so quickly.
Although he’s somewhat better after therapy, it doesn’t last long. He’s been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder, and unfortunately it’s not something that can really be cured.
I’m trying to talk myself out of feeling this way. Telling myself that good people don’t consider what I’m considering. I’ve visited all kinds of parenting blogs and mommy forums and adoption subs (including the one here on my alt account).
I’m just exhausted emotionally and physically. I guess I’m here because of my masochistic tendencies. I welcome your honesty.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 62,
"OTHER": 141,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 27,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 168,
"WRONG": 65
}
|
RIGHT
|
EhwcrdYQANScK7RhpgBqhIlxzdc3rEc3
|
9ta34o
|
{
"description": "telling my friend my opinion on her engagement",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for telling my friend my opinion on her engagement?
|
I have a close friend, who has been dating this guy for about a year. They just recently moved in together and it's not all smooth sailing. Without going into too much personal detail, let's say there are some valid concerns she has about his behavior; in my opinion, he needs to address that to be a better boyfriend. Recently, they went away together on a trip, and he proposed! She accepted. We are meeting soon and I know that she WILL ask me my opinion on the whole thing. She always asks for my advice in such matters. I honestly think they are getting engaged too early into the relationship and that he wants to make sure she doesn't leave him while he has no intention to change those behaviors that she is not happy with. He is an ok guy overall (not an abuser, cheater, addict or any other awful thing that would warrant her dumping him). I do not want to rain on her parade, and I am not sure it's appropriate for me to tell her my real opinion. What do y'all think? Should I just not tell her anything that is on my mind? I don't want her to get offended or mad at me, but I am also used to being honest. Thanks in advance.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vFTwe6FuT8IOhGO37HciEIKd31YGCfGP
|
ba1uxe
|
{
"description": "resenting my boyfriend's mental health",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for resenting my boyfriend's mental health?
|
My boyfriend and I both have a history of depression/anxiety. We have three roommates.
I had finally gotten out of a really bad year-long depression/anxiety spell. Nobody tried to help me out, and anytime I brought it up it was swept under the rug/the subject was changed. Occasionally my friends and boyfriend would say "sorry, wish I could help". HOWEVER, anytime I tried to explain ways they could help (let me vent, hug me, even just making a small meal), they said "okay" and changed the subject.
Fast forward a couple months after I had pulled myself out of my hole, and my boyfriend started to have depression/anxiety attacks. BOOM! Everybody is there for him. They want to know how they can help. They also follow through with it. I have done everything I can to help him. I stay up late to help him fall asleep, I wake up early to make sure he's eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I encouraged him to go to the doctor.
Here's the thing though. I really resent all four of them. I hate that I had to battle through all of my depression and anxiety by myself while he's getting help from all of us. I feel like a jerk for wanting to yell at them and ask them "where the hell was my help?". AITA for harboring resentment even though my boyfriend's mental health got pretty bad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
o6Kc7DnS3bZNh3hJJIXdhF8cJLxPkC7o
|
avl574
|
{
"description": "lying to my friend about not being in an abusive relationship with her brother and then ending the friendship because she was related to him",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for lying to my friend about not being in an abusive relationship with her brother and then ending the friendship because she was related to him?
|
So awhile back, I met this guy while working at a local Red Lobster. As his waitress, we had small conversations but it was obvious that he was flirting with me. I'm not gonna lie, he was pretty cute so I decided to flirt back. He even left me a $30 tip with his number written on a small piece of paper. Now normally I'd ignore guys like him, but he seemed sort of interesting at the time. I gave the number a call, we talked for a bit and that was that. It took awhile, but eventually he asked me out. It was about a month into the relationship, he wants me to meet his family. They were lovely people, and this is how I ended becoming friends with his sister. I don't think we were ever close, but she was a really fun person to hang out with. Whenever I went on dates with my boyfriend, she'd tag along sometimes. He didn't seem to mind at all, and things were pretty sweet. Now, I won't go into too much detail of the abuse I experienced, but he did hit me. I still have the bruises on my back. He would call me constantly, wanting to know where I was and etc. Typical behavior of an abuser basically. I attempted to let his sister know, but he threatened to take my life if I did. So for a few months, I was trapped in this relationship, unable to escape. Me and his sister were still on good terms, but I slowly felt unsafe around her. I still don't know exactly why, but I'm guessing its because she was constantly around him. I felt like I couldn't talk to her without feeling like he was there. My mental health suffered drastically, and every time she asked what was wrong I'd just say that I wasn't feeling well. Eventually, I got a really good job offer from my dad. He lived about 2 states over from where I lived. I decided that that was my chance to get away from him, so I packed up my apartment while keeping up the facade with him. 2 hours before I left, I called his sister to let her know that I didn't want to be friends with her anymore, asking her to never contact me again. She asked me if it had something to do with her brother, but I hung up. I've settled down a bit now, even managed up the courage to bring this to the attention of my family. I started seeing a counselor too. So far, I haven't had any trouble with him or his sister but I can't help but feel like I did the wrong thing. My family says I should have let his sister and family know, but at the moment I just wanted to get away. I refuse to take any legal action because I want it to be over with. Still, should I have let his sister know? Was I an asshole for ending the friendship just because she was related to him? This has been on my mind for awhile now.
Let me know please.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
iazYMdUuXZTkCMStPYzs0hew2gWG4FJI
|
a0fa57
|
{
"description": "being on the phone for 3 hours of a 10 hour bus trip",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 62
}
|
AITA? I was on the phone for 3 hours of a 10 hour bus trip
|
Some notes:
- this bus fare was $60 for an adult and $33 for a child (me) while a plane ticket usually averages $80 but are frequentl on sale for $60. Reason why I chose to take a bus is because I paid for the trip and I don’t get paid very much from work to afford the luxury to fly just as yet.
- I’m 17 years old and this lady seems like she’s 35-45 years old (in other words she might seem like she has some sort of authority over me because I’m young and she’s older)
- I am travelling by myself
So picture this: monday morning at 9:15am 2/3rds of a bus gets filled with people to drive from Melbourne to Adelaide (~800km/500mi). I’m on this bus trip for two main reasons: I have a car in Adelaide that I need to drive back to Melbourne and I also haven’t seen my dad in 4 months aswell (he’s the one who helped me buy the car aswell).
Now up until this point, I have been trying to get in contact with my dad so I can plan this little mini-holiday and how everything will work from registering the car to discussing and fixing all the problems with the car (its an old car). Notice how I said I was ‘trying’ to get in contact with my dad - being that he’d lost his phone and hasn’t been able to call me (didn’t know my phone number).
Now this was all until I called my grandparents who live in the same city as my dad. As it turned out, my father went to his parents house to use their phone to call me, right as I was about to call him. So fair enough, I was on the phone with my dad and we talked.
Soon enough, we’d planned our week ahead and eventually got onto other personal topics because we don’t really call very often. By the time I say goodbye, it was about 11:35am. I was tired from the night before and try to get some rest.
No more than 15 minutes later, I get a call from my best friend. She was calling to tell me about how she and her parents got into a massive argument over the holiday we’re going on in 9 days. To celebrate our passing of highschool, its tradition for students to go on a holiday somwhere in groups with the main intention to get as drunk as physically possible.
Well, her parents had said that they didn’t want her to go, although we’ve all already paid $1000+ and booked it 6 months ago. Plans were SET, and we were ready to leave. So naturally I spent the next 45 minutes discussing what our course of action was to get around this situation.
No less than 5 minutes before I’m saying bye to my friend on the phone, this lady sitting on the other side of the aisle to me raises her voice at me saying
“are you going to stay on that fucking phone for the whole trip? You’re being so rude!”
“Um hello? How am I rude? I’m talking to my friend and its only 12:30pm. That means daytime. That means people wont be sleeping”
Now I know that there may be some people asleep on the bus. I should know, I almost had a nap before my friend called me. But I’m not sure how I was rude. If you didn’t want this, then you should have flown and not caught a bus.
So Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 53,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 62
}
|
WRONG
|
8dnuWkA9sdCbNIzjpOWTMtnRC3gzWakD
|
b3tm7j
|
{
"description": "asking to pick up food which would make time for having sex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If i asked to pick up food which would make time for having sex
|
It’s not what you’re thinking. I don’t expect sex for food. And sorry for the formatting, on mobile.
The other day my SO were getting hot an heavy making out but we didn’t have time, and asked if we could do it later tonight after her exam. But we also have a bus to catch. So the window is about 2 hours between the official exam end time and the departure. (She has extra time on this exam and might not need it or even the full regular time, based on the other exams)
She said she wanted to get food from this one place and being the sex deviant that I am thought that if we both wanted to have sex I could easily get the food as I have literally nothing to do.
She also is using that 2 hour window partly to pack.
So WIBTA for asking if I could just get the food myself and be presumptuous of me to expect sex?
I don’t know how she would feel after taking this exam so I don’t want her to think that I expect sex I just want there to be time if we both feel on the mood.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
OCH6lqDUfs4HX1b5zCsgfs469xAkgcfF
|
acvid8
|
{
"description": "telling the fandom newcomer their headcanon idea isn't new",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling the fandom newcomer their headcanon idea isn't new?
|
I am member of a character fandom that exists for several years at this moment. There were several discussions to it, but after some time most of them were defined. One of these discussions was about giving a certain name to a character who doesn't have one; the fandom has soon come with a fitting name, had some time being happy over it, and that was that. In fact, I think of myself as the one who finished this discussion by articulating "this headcanon is becoming generally accepted", but I might exaggerate my merit in this.
So, this discussion was basically over, and after some time, this headcanon was used where appropriate (i.e. this name is used in fanfiction almost exclusively when there is need in one), but not mentioned specifically; it was considered a general knowledge for fandom members.
That is, until one day I came across a post that said something like *"Hey fandom, \[name\] is the best name for \[character\]!"* I don't claim these words to be exact, but I can't provide actual wording because I'm unable to see the actual post.
Because of my "merit" described earlier I was annoyed to see this rise up again but didn't want to argue with poster publicly, so I DM'd them, saying *"The \[character\] fandom has somewhat agreed on this, like, year and a half ago, but thanks anyway."*
Their reply was *"Nice! I wasn't in the fandom back then, I have not seen one post calling \[character\] by that name, I have no idea who you are and considering the first thing you ever say to me is a sarcastic snark remark on a dumb \[site\] post i dont wanna know you! Bye!"*
Then they immediately blocked me so I wasn't able to resolve this conflict.
So, in the end, what was it? Does my knowledge of fandom give me the right to tell people when their ideas are outtated? Did my ego push me into arrogance and desire to control what others are allowed to speak about? Or was it all a mere misunderstanding, making the newcomer respond aggressively when they saw aggression in my message?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
ytr03ej49SScXYDe8D31agraVdT0gHZe
|
b21yib
| null |
AITA Pretty obviously I was an asshole, but would you laugh if your kid peppersprayed themself
|
Gf and mom were talking about how she hides her pepperspray keychain from a kid she babysits. And I said i'd laugh if a kid did that. I'd help and everything it just seems like it'd be a r/KidsAreFuckingStupid thing.
The only reason I'm so interested in something that happened yesterday afternoon is because I'm trying to figure out if I have ASPD or something.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WFM4r7EuyPzRuMsRtcQuNwuvTb0pLvhl
|
9vdnx4
|
{
"description": "fighting with my mom constantly",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for fighting with my mom constantly?
|
Constantly is probably an exaggeration but let me explain:
So I (M/18) have a pretty explosive personality when I'm with my family. I am very friendly but I often say things that are a bit over the line and I rarely back down because when I see myself in the right ill stand by that.
Sometimes there's something I do/say that triggers a reaction from my parents. Usually its something I see as very mundane and unimportant but they will usually say that its really hurting them.
I used to be quite depressed and getting out of that, together with validation through grades in school and a lot of friends who quite like me, I've come to like myself and see that I'm an intelligent, likable guy and when people tell me otherwise I'm quick to reject that idea.
My sister (F/15) is an incredibly fragile person. Shes in therapy because everything stresses her out so much and she really hates when we fight (we as in anyone in the family). However, she often has phases (not her period) where she is just exhausting, telling everyone off and being completely toxic. That behavior isn't recognized my mom and usually hits me. My sister sees these phases as completely justified and never apologizes, instead wants apologizes made to her most of the time.
I sit in my room most of the time, studying or playing games. I listen to music a lot (speakers except when people are sleeping). I do sports 6/7 Days a week and do a little bit in the house (my room is always clean, emptying the dishwasher, bringing out the trash, basic chores).
Whenever I have a rough day and say something even remotely hurtful or annoying, my family completely loses it, especially my sister, and I am first blamed, then punished and when I inevitably apologize, its back to normal.
So I have two examples that I remember really well here:
&#x200B;
First one we were on a 3 day holiday in London, my sister had had one of her bad days and we went out to eat. I was fine the entire time and didn't intentionally say/do anything to hurt someone. We went inside a traditional Chinese restaurant and having had Peking duck before, I said I want gonna eat anything and Id just have a drink. I said this while being calm since I didn't feel like it was a big situation. I just didn't want to eat Peking duck (what my family decided to order).
Then my sister got up and went (quickly) out of the restaurant, followed by us. She then proceeded to run away, my mom following her and yelling at me to stay where I was and eat with my dad. My dad also went somewhere so I was alone in the street, confused.
Later I was told (and am still being told) that it's my fault cause I made a scene and I should've just eaten and I knew my sister had a bad day. My mom yelled at me and I genuinely didn't see how anything was my fault but she guilt-tripped me for the remaining 2 days straight. (This is the situation where I am 100% sure I'm not the asshole, the other one is more intense so this post isn't baiting for validation.)
&#x200B;
So then yesterday, my sister took my headphones out of a drawer downstairs (which I didn't know, I thought they were in my room) and studying for the midterms and having to look for them I was angry cause I wanted to hurry to the gym.
When my sister arrived home shortly before I was gonna go (i was already in my car). I drove off, turned around, handed her the keys, took them back after the opened the door (took them back in an aggressive manner) and told her "don't go through my shit, asshole" which in German sounds like I told her she's a fucking asshole.
So when I got back, my mom greeted me by telling me that I am a terrible person and that I made my sister cry.
We then yelled at each other cause that's what we always do. I said she was like her mom (rly bad) and she told me I didn't fit the family, I am ungrateful and I should move out.
Apart from that situation: She constantly mentions that I should get a girlfriend, that I should move out, that I should get a job, that I'm ungrateful, that all my problems are caused by me and that I should "just be nice." cause they are nice to me.
I just feel like I can't express my emotions to them anymore and everything I say is always taken up as something more than it is. My mom says everything I say hurts her and she doesn't see any fault of her own.
Another example of why I have a problem with her is, that I want to eat better and lose weight (did it before, wanna do it again) and said that I would like for her to consider that when she's cooking. She says that I have no right to complain and if I don't like it, I don't have to eat it. I get around 30€ pocket money after gas and Spotify are paid for and I don't get compensated for buying my own food (which I already do, just not lunch every day). An argument she has is that she doesn't need to waste time cutting shit in the kitchen when I go out to McDonalds and subway on the weekends but I rarely do that and most of the time I just have a water and hang out with friends.
I believe my family knows I like to lash out a little bit and they should accept that. If I do lash out, they can just tell me because I don't have bad intentions and id appreciate them stopping me right away. What usually happens is my mom or occasionally dad yelling back and then it gets really heated.
My mom has already made plans for me to move out. They support me generally but I can't have any complaints ever. My mom said that, if I do have a complaint, I should just suck it up.
We are relatively wealthy, my mom and dad have rough childhoods and I was incredibly difficult from ages 5 to 15.
My best friend (for 12 years, who knows my family well) agrees with me but I think that he's biased. What does Reddit think?
Also: I am currently in the process of seeking professional help for myself and as a family therapy thing. I want to talk about the problems I and my mom have instead of just sucking it up and putting another fight off to another day. She doesn't think that I have any ground to stand on and says the problems are all with me.
The descriptions are all from my perspective obviously but I am generally pretty neutral and I really want to understand this better. Thanks!
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
pAYrziirUInQCwKXBPtQAVw16aPTDGSG
|
9wz5zr
|
{
"description": "my roommate wanting to move out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for my roommate wanting to move out
|
Some backstory, about a year ago our roommate moves in with my fiancé and myself. Met him from Craig’s list seemed cool shared a lot of the same interests as us. We had a generous price for the room and utilities, about 40% of the total rent and utilities, and since he was struggling getting hours at work he really wanted the room. Problem was he had a cat and the complex has a strict no pets rule. Found he could claim the cat as an Emotional Support Animal then we would be fine to move in. Helped him get that sorted, I payed for his pet deposit which was 50$. Great all set to move in, he said he’s moving in on the 14 of the month. We didn’t care about the day but then he said he’s only paying half the months rent. Kinda annoyed but my fiancé and I do ok enough financially and we know what it’s like to struggle so we said ok half of the rent. We also smoke weed and he did as well, we smoked him out constantly and he never offered any back. Everything goes fine-ish for about 6 months complaints here and there about the dishes piling up which is 99% our fault since he doesn’t cook and was totally. He started looking for new jobs for better pay, found one and got fired, found another job and one that paid way more. He knocked on the door to my fiancé and I’s room crying with laughter excited for his new job. We were close at the time and he said “I was so excited I just wanted to tell someone”. After that he goes full ghost on us never says more than hi or sup. Won’t answer texts, discord, nothing. See him occasionally in the kitchen when he uses the microwave and that’s hit. Recently my fiancé left the stove on, and my roommate noticed and turned it off. Came to talked to me about he saying it was irresponsible and that the safety of his stuff and his cat could have burned away. I kinda shrugged it off this kind of thing happened occasionally I won’t lie. I had kinda a shit week (not saying this justifies it just giving details). I guess he didn’t like the way I reacted so he talked to my fiancé about it and I guess they got kinda heated. About a couple months ago he says that we need to be quiet by 11pm, we say we’ll try our best but we’re both night owls and play games late at night and shit get heated some times ya know? Tonight I was playing games with friends and my fiancé and I got too loud again and he sent my fiancé a text saying “I guess this isn’t going to end. I’m moving out”. We tried to be good roommates but you be the judge reddit AITA?
TLDR: Tried to accommodate our roommate as much as possible financially and as a friend. Starts ghosting us when he gets a new job only talks to us when he has a complaint and is trying to set our bed time because his work schedule.
Typing late at night on my phone apologize for the all the bad. Will fix tomorrow.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Cznqj2fIuRenXtJkLTfHV9tdN7OcD8tx
|
a33bf6
|
{
"description": "not backing my mate over an insta account",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not backing my mate over an insta account
|
Basically me and a group of mates had an insta account which we’d just post stupid stuff on. Then I had a falling out with them which weren’t that serious but I just weren’t so close with them and they told me to get rid of the account which I did but I still remembered the password.
Then they posted a pic of one of my best mates (who’s quite fat) where he looked like he was having anal sex with another guy and his belly was showing (it’s a really unfortunate picture). He then asked me for the account details and I have him them in case they posted it again.
Somehow they found out he had it and he told them I gave him it and I weren’t looking to get the shit other This so I lied and said I he was lying bout it and I didn’t give him the details.
AITA for not telling the truth or am I justified given the fact I gave him it as a favour and he threw me under the bus wen he got caught with the account
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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WRONG
|
vuxhYNkYCLmY0oKmHHByBf8xPr8Sle6h
|
a8pz3y
|
{
"description": "not driving an hour and a half on christmas to get sushi with family",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not driving an hour and a half on christmas to get sushi with family?
|
Part of my family lives four hours away, the other part lives about seven. I got a call today, three days before Christmas saying I have to meet them in Orlando to get sushi on Christmas at lunch time.
I have been begging for a plan for two weeks on whether we were going to meet up and I've been blown off so I accepted my fate and decided to drop $60 on a nice Christmas ham and some good eats. Since I said they were crazy for wanting to go out on Christmas and that at this point I already have plans, everyone is mad at me for not making an effort to drive to a restaurant an hour and a half away that is directly next to an amusement park.
An hour and a half is not taking into the fact that there will be traffic on I-4 (into Orlando).
I don't even like sushi and they know this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
Ujh5OpRw1D5CA1v8FjLSxIfB4zjCkjYe
|
atvu59
|
{
"description": "leaving during a 9 hour shift in work in which there is no coverage",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTAH if I left during a 9 hour shift in work in which there is no coverage?
|
So (21F) i work in this bakery that’s for some reason so severally understaffed today. Saturdays happen to be our busiest days we usually have two people working so that someone isn’t stuck there from open to close for 9 hours.
Well one of the girls called out to go to a coworkers husbands funeral from her old job and couldn’t find coverage. Which means I have to stay there from 10am-7:30pm with no breaks. Period. This is especially frustrating because when the kitchen staff all leave at 2:30 I have zero means of getting food for the next. 5 hours.
So here’s my questions; WIBTAH if I left around 3:30 and told them to find someone else to work the rest of the shift? Because this is ridiculous.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
vhec0n3yXGA8Hai5npX2AKG7QmBjbRsg
|
anjxn3
|
{
"description": "lying to my s/o that I have PCOS so I don't have to take contraceptives",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 31
}
|
AITA for lying to my s/o that I have PCOS so I don't have to take contraceptives
|
Before I start this I should probably highlight for people that may not know that PCOS is an ovarian disorder that reduces fertility because of an absence of regular periods.
So ever since I started my period it has been incredibly irregular (I can go up to 5 months without one). This has been going on for a couple of years now and I contemplated getting out on the pill to try and regulate it but then I saw the side effects and was immediately put off. I did some googling and found this disorder that seemed to fit perfectly with my symptoms. I assumed that I had it for about a year before actually getting tested for it and being told that I didn't have it (this was back in September before I was dating this person).
Fast forward to the present day and I've been in a relationship for just over four months now. We had a discussion about contraceptives and my s/o asked if I was on the pill. I said no and that I didn't want to be on it because of the side effects. They said they were okay to use condoms but would have preferred that I was on the pill as they really didn't want a child. I felt bad about the whole thing and stupidly decided to tell them that I had this disorder. They were very supportive and said that it was completely fine that I didn't want to use contraception because it was already unlikely that I would get pregnant naturally.
In one sense I do have the main symptom that calls for a diagnosis of the disorder which is irregular periods but I didn't have issues with my ovaries visible via the ultrasound I had. So technically I am less fertile than most but I don't have the disorder that I told my s/o that I had.
Considering all of this, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
|
WRONG
|
D9kgIdqQwWmL2uOr5ZuRphmPHNqPG1FZ
|
ajlyw6
|
{
"description": "being sick of a stressed out co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being sick of a stressed out co-worker?
|
Long story, but I'll try to make it shorter. I work with a woman who legitimately is going through a very rough time right now. Single mom, no child support, car crapped out on her. I do understand why she's stressed. My issue is her attitude, and all the things she does/doesn't do that make her life harder.
She is constantly blaming everything on someone or something other than herself. Some of it really isn't within her control, but there are many things she could do to at least make things better. Making a budget, for example. That i can tell she doesn't have one. She will run out of money for diapers or milk or whatever, but I know she spends money on things she doesn't need. (We work retail, i sell them to her.) She always seems to have money for weed. She complains to me often, both about not having money and about her family giving her crap for it.
Another big issue is her child's father. She still sleeps with him, but he doesn't come around much, never takes the baby, and doesn't pay child support. She seems almost obsessed with the guy, and says she won't involve the state for child support basically because she doesn't want him to endure the financial burden. If he helped out at all i would understand that, but from what she says he doesn't.
Her family and friends try to talk to her about these things, but she either gets mad, ignores it, or guilts them about not understanding what it's like to be a single mom. At one point I considered her a friend, but I'm pretty done at this point. There's more, but this is getting too long. Basically I'm just wanting to know if I'm being too hard on her. I understand that long term stress can turn a person into something they're not, but this seems like more than that to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
BjJ9hoEgwkOjjXIOts6CcD6s5N9woHGH
|
a6jc38
|
{
"description": "refusing to give up my seat to a pregnant woman on the bus",
"pronormative_score": 124,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for refusing to give up my seat to a pregnant woman on the bus?
|
So this happened some hours ago but I'm still thinking about it. Today I had a very important test and I wanted to be sure to arrive early and study some more at school so I went out to take the bus one and a half hour before the test. Unfortunately it seems that this morning was particularly busy because it took ONE HOUR for the bus to pass. So there I was, waiting for the transport without the opportunity to study because I might get distracted and miss it (there weren't any benches either, I had to stand still). About five minutes before the bus arrived, a pregnant woman and her friend left their house (which means they didn't had to wait an hour in the heat like me) and took the same bus I was waiting for.
&#x200B;
This bus was particularly full of people (and I mean full, there were persons standing) but for some reason two seats were available (I think it was because the sun shined at full force directly on them, but I didn't care) so I took one of them, put on my headphones without music to drown some sound and started studying. The pregnant woman also took seat besides me, chatting with her friend who was standing.
&#x200B;
About five minutes in the route, the friend complained about her feet, so the pregnant one offered her the seat, which she happily accepted. Then it happened. The pregnant woman started complaining too. And instead of giving back the seat to her pregnant friend, the other woman asked me if I would give up my seat for her. I had my headphones so I pretended I didn't hear anything. After asking me two more times, the friend pulled out one headphone off my ear and, with a less-than-friendly tone, asked me again. I, of course, refused, arguing that the one who should give up the seat was her.
&#x200B;
She went nuts and harassed me for the entire ride. Called me names, put her hand on my notebook so I couldn't see anything and refused to give my headphone back unless I gave up my seat, while the pregnant woman only stared at me with the deadliest glare ever. I also heard the passengers talking about me, though some of them saw what happened and defended me. Still, that was one hell of a ride and I can't stop thinking about if I did the correct thing. So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 123,
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"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
sxfmphFnM8TUKhJ4tQsO9ovjBAUVbYHR
|
9u8tt9
|
{
"description": "not visiting my grandpa often",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not visiting my grandpa often?
|
So here’s the thing, my grandpa is pretty old (around 75 I believe, not really sure). He lives in a nursing home and has been over the years getting some pretty serious Alzheimer’s and Dementia. I’m a junior in college, pretty busy as a music major. When I DO get some free weekends (which isn’t very often), I go home to my parents. I think I’ve only visited him literally twice in the past year and I really want to see him more because he’s getting pretty close to dying, I think. It’s just, I have to split the time between my parents because they’re divorced and have new partners. Am I the asshole for not seeing my grandpa more often? I love him dearly, but it’s just hard to find time to visit him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
33xCNJ5GwZA6qKg1I8BY70W9GXpOz8YI
|
ar1nx6
|
{
"description": "not supporting my mom's pregnancy",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for not supporting my mom's Pregnancy?
|
So, I'm 15 and my youngest brother is 8. My mom is 35 and she just got married to her husband(39) this last December(2018). She remarried just recently after a divorce and my 2 brothers that are 9 and 8 are hers and my old stepdad's children. Now, about 2 months after my mom and her new husband got married, we found out she was 7 weeks pregnant. She's only been with this guy for almost a year
AITA for not being too happy or supportive that my mom is pregnany?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
PXtOfgqAwAjezzeRaFy6vvqpBLJIuBlV
|
ajzwgl
|
{
"description": "coming home at 5am",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for coming home at 5am?
|
Here’s a little background: I (19M) live with my parents whom were fairly strict and worrisome concerning their children. My dad works long hours so a lot of the time it’s me, my siblings and my mom. As I started to stay out later my mom would always stay up unless we were all home.
This particular night I went to visit a friend in NJ for his birthday. I live in NYC so the drive isn’t that bad. I told my parents I was taking the family car and they were reluctant but agreed. They made it clear they wanted me home around 11 but I told them that was too early and that I’d be home later. By the end of the party one of my friends that came with me was extremely drunk. I offered her a ride back and naturally it took her over an hour to get out. After a tedious and long drive I finally make it home and of course my mom is waiting for me, furious. She starts yelling at me and arguing about how I’m a terrible son and all that. I really do feel bad because she’s my mom and I don’t want her to be up all night worrying about me, but at the same time I don’t want to be couped up just living my life at home.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
UV3yJ9w93Plm2fRFskPYmEnhS6UEhxcu
|
apad84
|
{
"description": "wanting my grandfather to undergo an act of euthanasia",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my grandfather to undergo an act of euthanasia?
|
My Grandfather is close to the 90 year mark, and he sure is burnt out. We visit him a couple times a year, and his currently 80 year old wife is still as excited and energetic as always.
I can't say the same for my grandfather. Since about a year ago, he's been saying that he's done living, and wouldn't hesitate to be put asleep if he had the oppurtunity.
When he first said it people (my parents, family) were shocked. Nowadays they laugh it off. To me however this is totally different.
The poor man is constantly suffering. He can't see properly, his speech is flawed, he was barely able to hold a pen today. When we had to leave to go back home I said goodbye to him, and since I've been wanting to tell him how much I praise him, I did.
What he said after was brutally honest. After naming a ton of disadvantages in his current life, like not being able to perform standard movements and not even being able to function on his own, he said: "I won't be able to see my wife anymore."
His vision is close to becoming ruined. Hearing this poor man say with a sad undertone that he would not be able to see his dear wife, who he married over 60 years ago, struck me. Whenever I leave their house, I keep thinking: Let the poor man leave this world.
I love my grandfather. He is a hero to me. He was strong, built his own house, defended the dutch shores with hard work and labour, got a lovely wife and stood strong for 90 years, surviving world war 2, but I don't think he deserves to go through his pains.
He's got his wife, yes, but he's lonely. All he can do is listen to classical music and play a little bit of harmonica before he starts to hyperventilate or lose his breath. Right now I just feel like my parents keep wanting him to live out of desperacy.
Now, to clear it up: euthanasia is not legal in these circumstances, but even if it was, my parents would not agree to it, even though my grandfather has directly stated his life was over.
I would, though. If I could, I would let him fall asleep peacefully and let him wake up in the place where he wants to be. I'm not religious, but he is, so I shall follow his traditions.
Is it wrong for me to pretty much want my grandfather to die? Since I'm the only one with this opinion, I get the feeling like I'm missing something..
TL;DR: My grandfather is old and worn out, and wishes to leave this world. My parents do not approve, but I feel like he deserves to stop his suffering. Am I wrong for wanting his peaceful end?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
nW6SCTNuli75w5d9RnnG76ejmCc4KdnZ
|
ak7c0f
|
{
"description": "making an observation about Gender Pronouns",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making an observation about Gender Pronouns
|
I was talking with a friend of mine about something that I saw on Reddit today which turned into me being "defensive" and basically being told I was being as asshole.
I was reading a thread today on global warming here on Reddit and someone had made a comment about global warming not being as serious an issue as science says it is. The comments went something like this:
Poster 1: "While global warming may be real, it is not nearly as serious as scientists make it out to be"
Poster 2" Read the article posted above dude, I think its pretty clear the severity of what's going on here"
Poster 1: "Fuck you, dont call me dude. I do not identify as a man and its completely inconsiderate and fucked up for you to say some dumb shit like that. You ignorant dumb fuck"
Poster 1: apologized and said that they had no idea.
&#x200B;
My friends response to his apologizing was "When you apologize profusely you make it all about you it comes from a place of ego" and then said "I'm glad you have the luxury to believe like men are generally good"
&#x200B;
I would like to note that this idea that I believe men are generally good came out of nowhere, and I dont think men are generally good, I also dont think they are generally bad. There are both good and bad people stemming from any variety of genders or identities. I can't believe I am even having to say that because it is obvious.
&#x200B;
This thread had absolutely was not even CLOSE to the realm of having anything to do with gender, pronouns, anything. The poster who went off on the guy hadn't said anything in the thread (as far as I could tell) about their gender or preferred pronouns. And why would they? The whole thing just made no sense to me.
&#x200B;
I brought this up to my friend essentially making the observation that this seems to be counterproductive, and if gender identity and pronouns mean that much to you, maybe take this as an opportunity to simply point out that fact. Or without cursing this person out just saying "hey id appreciate it if you referred to me using \_\_\_\_\_ pronouns."
My friend proceeded to tell me, in not so many words, that I was being an asshole and an idiot and that women and minorities and other marginalized cross sections of society have tried to teach people things for ages and that nobody listens and it isn't worth their time. That this person should've gone online and looked up gender identity and pronoun information. The thing is - this came out of nowhere! How is a person supposed to do that when they are attacked out of nowhere? I said that I thought the person yelling at this guy was being counter productive, and I think they were being really cruel and frankly pretty ignorant. With absolutely no mention or any previous discussion - this person attacked this guy....and somehow I am the asshole for thinking that this was inappropriate or not the best way to handle this situation.
&#x200B;
AITA for bringing this up? for thinking that this person was really cruel and did a disservice to someone who maybe felt really bad about what happened even though they would've had no idea this was coming? I just dont get it. Sometimes it baffles me how you are supposed to give support. I disagree on the way this person handled this and it felt like all of a sudden I was NOT an ally and that I was being ignorant and rude and borderline abusive for bringing it up.
&#x200B;
I seriously want to know, because I care about people and I hate mean stuff and I try to support everyone as best I can and so this made me feel crummy even though I dont think I did anything wrong,
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
UbxEDSJTohOXYWhnRfTFENQVM0Zc1dfx
|
b0o4so
|
{
"description": "getting mad at this girl",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at this girl?
|
Me and this girl had feelings for eachother. She constantly suggested sexual stuff (and I more than happily accepted). A month in I told her I wanted to make this an official relationship. She said she couldn’t commit because she didn’t want it to turn out how her last relationship ended and was “terrified of breaking up with me”. After that, any time I would try to put it on the table (I didn’t force it) she would say something like *i can’t do that because my ex would do that*. Whenever there was an even minor issue between us, she refused to talk about it over anything but text because “My ex would want me to talk and I would cave into what he wanted if it wasn’t over text”. This obviously pissed me off a LOT as I don’t want to be associated with an emotional abuser. I told her that if this was going to stay where she refused to hear me out on anything and never go into a relationship, I can’t trust her and I would like to stop talking. She then told me that I really hurt her healing from her ex and that I’m evil and blocked me.
Note: She 1000000% had feelings(she told me), she was just scared to commit because of her ex.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
MQxLuJ23wJz7z71xfibDkU4EDcJVgSbD
|
aaffvq
|
{
"description": "wanting my father to pay me back",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my father to pay me back?
|
A little backstory: The other month we had some relatives over and my cousin has recently picked up violin. She is 8 years old as of current. I have a childhood violin that I used to play but I eventually moved to guitar and stayed with it. Im currently in college and havent played my violin in over 3 years. Ive been looking to sell it for some money. Take into account I wasnt looking for much. I had bought the thing with saved up birthday money and it probably costed around 300$. Too long ago to remember exactly. The thing is in amazing condition, considering I never got into violin and switched to guitar. I was planning on selling it for 100 dollars flat. Now heres where the story starts. My uncle offers to take it off my hands for 100 dollars since his daughter(my cousin) wants to learn to play. I say what a deal and am about to make the transaction. Heres where my father comes in. He tells me you shouldnt sell to family members like that and insists I give it to my uncle for free and in exchange for doing this my dad would personaly pay me 225 dollars the next week. Being me I said hey that sounds even better. We keep the money between me and my dad. I get paid. My cousin gets a free violin. Everybody wins. So I give them the violin. Fast forward two weeks, I still havent seen my money and I ask my father about it. He then gets defensive saying how I should be patient and wait till he can save up. I say fine. Fast forward two months I bring it up again. At this point im pissed because I know damn well he has had the money multiple times, but he just wants to avoid paying me. He gets pissed at me for remembering that and says my christmas present should be enough.(100$ and a card). It was nice but I still feel he cant pawn his debt off to a holiday. And even if he could there is still another 125$ we agreed on. He always is fast to change the topic and Im scared to bring it up because he gets so pissed. Am I the asshole? Should I just drop it? I really need advice.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
YvP3LewNjnWnLD4f1jkrL8XdcommO7mq
|
a8xtll
|
{
"description": "not buying my infant nephew a Christmas gift",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not buying my infant nephew a Christmas gift?
|
My brother and his wife have three kids, ages 3 years, 18 months, and 2 months old. We bought gifts for the oldest two, but did not buy a gift for the two month old. Gifts happened yesterday.
Woke up to a text from our mother, saying we should have bought something and essentially we weren’t valuing and loving the two month old as part of the family. Wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I didn’t say anything. Now I regret not buying something small, but this reaction feels a bit excessive and an emotional low-blow.
Brother hasn’t responded to call or texts. He’s not usually one to overreact to this kind of thing and I’ll assume he’s busy, but strange he hasn’t at least texted back.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
woXmlGahsQyHe6yN8eNwHQvvxp9nIrX2
|
alv89u
|
{
"description": "getting upset/annoyed with my boyfriend for staying up until 5am",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for getting upset/annoyed with my boyfriend for staying up until 5am?
|
This might sound stupid, but it's annoying me to no end and causing problems and tension in our relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we don't technically live together but I stay at his apartment every night. We spend a lot of time together and hang out, but he will stay up until 5am drinking with his roommate while I go to bed around 2ish or whenever I get tired. You might wonder what the problem is.
Well, I feel like going to bed together is a special time and he just completely disregards how I feel and chooses his roommate over me. I also feel like it's unnecessary to stay up until 5 am drinking??? It's not like he has insomnia, works late, or has some reason why he needs to stay up. It's literally alcohol fueled. We are all at home by 8-9 pm and have plenty of time to hang out together and have no reason to stay up until 5am. When I bring this up to him, his reply is always "you can always hang out with us but you CHOOSE to go to bed at 2am and leave us." Um yeah because a fucking normal person gets tired and wants to go to bed?? Like am I the crazy one here?
Also, I'll go to bed when I'm tired and I just expect to wake up and him be in bed which would be fine but nope. I'll wake up at 5, sometimes 6, and he's still out in the living room 12 shots of vodka deep just watching tv and chilling with his roommate. It annoys me to no end and at first I tried to nicely talk to him but now I just explode. I've said to him if I wanted to sleep alone and be alone, I can just stay home at my own apartment. We got into a major fight about this a few days ago just straight up screaming at each other because I just can't deal with it anymore. And what does he do the very next day? Stay up til 5am. Am I being the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
IEem2lE3uSox9vU2koH9GAq8qJapu9lG
|
awbqso
|
{
"description": "recording a woman not picking up her dog poop behind my apartment building and sending it to the leasing office, which is going to get her a lease violation on her record",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I recorded a woman not picking up her dog poop behind my apartment building and sending it to the leasing office, which is going to get her a lease violation on her record?
|
Multiple different owners have been walking their dogs behind my building because it’s on of only a couple where the back is facing a tall fence (golf course behind it) and is completely hidden from view of the leasing office. They let their dogs poop everywhere and leave it there. They’re doing this like ten feet from the porch of the people who live below us, who also walk their puppy back there and they along with other tenants have talked about how they stepped in it a few times as well as they’ve had to pick it up themselves because their dogs tries to eat it and obviously they have no idea if the dog that left it has worms or some other poop transferable issues. Literally 100 feet away is a fenced off dog park area with dog poop bags readily available.
The woman in the leasing office who takes my rent checks asked about us having seen one of these people and asked us to email a description of anyone we see doing this along with pet descriptions (the office has pictures of all pets tenants have registered with the office)
Today I recorded a girl walking two dogs, got her on camera letting them both poop and then after she looks around to see if anyone saw, she walks away from it. I tried to go outside to confront her before taking it to the office, but she was already gone by the time I got dressed and went outside.
Tried to email the video to my leasing office, and afterwards was talking to a few different people about it and got wildly different reactions. Some people said I should’ve sent it and that it was justified, and others said I was an asshole for trying to mess up her lease and potentially get her evicted if she has lease violations already just because she left poop in nature where it belongs. Then I found out the video file was too large to email, and now I’m hesitant to email screenshots I took of her and her dogs due to the things people said about it being a bad idea.
So, would I be an asshole for getting this woman in trouble with our leasing office just over dog poop? Is dog poop even that much of an issue that it should result in a lease violation?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 36,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
RU9CVCthU2uBKxBYnBTzDAjzOY5L1I6P
|
a8dlk5
|
{
"description": "being mad at my dad",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for being mad at my dad
|
So i got home from school early (finals week) and noticed my dad is home early. My uncle is in from out of town for his birthday and christmas. He tells me that my dad is taking him to eat to a nearby town. So im all thinking that it will be a relatively short thing, like as in we eat lunch and come back. Anyway while in the car I am informed that they are also getting some “quick” massages at a mall. So im thinking “alright i guess thats fine, a quick massages is like what? 10-20 minutes maybe?” So we get there and it turns out they are getting hour long massages. Anyways im pretty pissed because i assumed we would not be there for very long, and that i was maybe looking at an hour total, meal included. When Im actually looking at a two to two and a half hour deal. I told my dad how pissed off I was because I dont have very much money right now (which he knows) because they cut my hours at work for the winter season since business has slowed down. I would have driven separately also, but didnt this time to save some gas. Anyway he flipped out on me and got really pissed at me, and called me “selfish” and this and that, because all i cared about was myself.
So now im stranded in a mall, in a different town, with no money, no ride, and now me and my dad are pissed, and my half day off was just pissed down the sink. He also threatened to send me back to live with my mom (she lives in another state).
So am I the asshole for informing him that he kinda really pissed me off?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
NFNLYIRmWDLcNxUbv4NsOzRZ2nmqJ3zl
|
aoijk8
|
{
"description": "shouting \"put your phones down!\" to fellow parents in the audience at my little daughter's school concert",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for shouting “PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN!” to fellow parents in the audience at my little daughter’s school concert?
|
My daughter (4) had her school concert this morning. The kids have prepared their play for weeks, 45 minutes of show with more than 100 preschoolers, a “big thing”. There is space for about 200 parents in the sports hall, a flat floor (not a cinema), the kids play elevated on a stage, but naturally the view isn’t that great. The school insists in written that no video recordings from the audience are being made, and they provides a professionally recorded DVD of the whole play at an OK price (10-15$) afterwards.
Of course people still take photos, and I get it: you want to watch (or show it to grandma) before the DVD comes out. Most raise their phones to shoulder height and that only shortly. Fine. It’s a kindergarten...
But 30 minutes into the play when a new group shows up, about 6 parents raise their bright phones high above their heads and keep filming for 1, 2, 3 minutes and don’t stop. They sit in the middle rows and basically you cannot see anything when you sit behind them. I’m seated quite at the back, my daughter was already on stage, but I watch and clap for each of the kids and I feel they all deserve respect for their play. And the parents in the back deserve a chance to see the 10 seconds fame of their little ones without it being blocked by someone’s smartphone.
Without thinking I yell a quick and loud “Put your phones down, please!!” into the play. Most phones disappear or move down. (Mind you, this is not a quiet, classical concert, there were babies crying, a few people going in and out, parents talking, even phones ringing.) My wife is furious afterwards and tells me she was sick of embarrassment. I am sorry she feels like this because of me, but I think it’s better than accepting people ruining the rest of the show. I also think not many people realized who actually shouted anyway.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
emubp71Vr89kGuv1YrVd0WypEY1riYv5
|
alqe19
|
{
"description": "getting into an argument with my friend's mom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting into an argument with my friend’s mom?
|
A little backstory: my friend M and her sister S were put up for adoption by their biological mom. Her mom had been adopted by this old lady, so the old lady adopted her two kids. A year later, the mom got pregnant again with a son and kept him for awhile. She had two more kids, both girls, after that and kept them. Fast forward 13 years or so, her son is living with his dad, but the dad doesn’t want to care for him anymore and asked the mom to take him. She said no, so the old lady had to take in yet another kid. That kid sleeps in a tent in the living room, since they have no space in their house. Recently, the old lady had a stroke and can’t even move much. The mom moved into their house for the time being.
Alright, now onto the issue. Her mom took her kids (16 and 15) out of high school to “homeschool” them, which she wasn’t. She just didn’t want to be deal with their school schedule, and they were happy to stay home and do whatever they wanted all day. Their house became disgusting. The mom would drive back and forth an hour sometimes daily to just bring M and S places. CPS was called by someone, we’re not sure who, but CPS was threatening to take the girls away. The mom didn’t care.
(Background facts: her mom knew the eldest daughter was snoring herself out on Snapchat for money, and was having her daughter buy the whole family food. The mom took the old lady’s car, even though she had her own car, so the girls had nothing to do until their mom came, and the mom would frequently get her own kids drunk.)
I told S, who I’m sort of friend’s with, that I don’t agree with her decisions as of late, that I don’t like her mom because her mom didn’t seem to care for them. I even called out her mom on abandoning her son when he needed a place to stay because she didn’t want to deal with his “anger issues” aka, his mild spectrum autism and his anger towards her for abandoning him, that she left untreated. S gave the phone to the mom and she started telling me to “hush” and that “u shuldn’t judge me, u don’t no anything.” I stayed silent because I was embarrassed S would give her mom the phone.
Later that day, she told my friend that she didn’t want either of them, but if she had to take one of them, she’s take S and put M into the system. I got into an argument with the mom, telling her that it’s disgusting that she would tell her own kids that she didn’t want them, when they already grew up knowing that they were unwanted by her when she put them up for adoption. Her other kids, the 2 girls and her son, have speaking issues and need speech therapy because she didn’t teach them to speak properly, which has led to them being bullied.
For the week following, anytime S was talking to me, she’d tell me “(mom’s name) told you to kiss her ass” and would send me photos of her mom flipping me off.
I’ve known the sisters for 6 years, 1/3 of my life. They rarely see their mom, and usually just call her by her name because they don’t see her as a mom. I think I’m allowed to defend them, as I’ve known them for so long, and because she ignores M’s extreme depression. AITA for butting into their personal situation, or is the mom in the wrong?
Tl;dr - my friends’ mom neglects her kids and tells her she doesn’t want them, so I defended them, judged the mom’s life decisions, and the mom got very mad at me. AITA for butting into their personal lives?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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