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ap1D7szbV2xseiO7h1R5AIu8Sz0Z6LXO
|
b79nk5
|
{
"description": "dating younger women and refusing to date women my own age",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 28
}
|
AITA for dating younger women and refusing to date women my own age (30s)?
|
I (32M) swear I saw a similar post to this here, I've been looking for it ever since but can't find it.
I refuse to date women my own age and in their 30s for a similar reason to that post I saw. In my youth (late teens/early 20s) I wasn't very sexually active even though I *wanted* to be, and it did a bit of a number on me. The majority of people my age (girls and guys), had their sexual escapades and are either now settled down (married) or dating (looking for serious relationships).
They don't have the sexual insecurities that I have, because by and large, they ''had their fun'' so to speak.
As a result of this, I put a lot of effort into improving my looks and social skills so that I could stand a chance. Now my current girlfriend is 21 years old. My girlfriend before that, was also 21. And the hookups I have had (only had a few really, not many) over the last few years, were with girls in their 20's.
Basically, I just refuse to date a woman my own age, because they are far more experienced than me sexually. They've got a good decade over me. As a result of this, I refuse to date them.
Now I 100% recognize that I've got a lot of life experience over a 20 year old, but if I'm forced to choose between a 20 year old without that much life experience and who hasn't slept around for more than a decade, versus a 30 year old woman who has similar life experience but has had loads of sexual hookups and outnumbers me by far sexually, I'm always going to choose the latter.
There's just no way in hell I would ever entertain the idea of dating a woman my own age unless under very specific circumstances. **If I had slept around and had all my fun during my early 20s, THEN I would date women my own age, but because I didn't, I now refuse to even consider dating them. This doesn't mean I hate them though, I'm friends with many women my own age, but I'd never date them.**
Some of my friends don't like the fact that I'm dating a 20 year old, but I think they sort of lose the right to object because it's easy for them to say ''Date a woman your own age'' when they all had their sexual fun, whereas I didn't. Why should they have the right to tell me that? I'd like to see how they would feel under my circumstances. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 28
}
|
WRONG
|
diOJiknDNCsfL21eeJozTPJVRyYP5Vqz
|
a11hrc
|
{
"description": "worrying my friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for worrying my friends
|
I sometimes get really sad/empty and I reach out to my friends for help. I know this worries them but I need help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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|
OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GNZzAnt2Mn9O0UpoUcGJtYqsDevcER8k
|
a69h3p
|
{
"description": "not giving up a subway seat so two people could sit together",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving up a subway seat so two people could sit together?
|
I take the subway to commute to and from work every day. This happened earlier this week and it's been bugging me ever since.
As the train comes to a stop, people generally stand on either side of the door to make room for people coming off the train. I was standing closest to the door on one side and this woman was on the other side, with who I'm assuming was her friend standing behind her. It was rush hour so there were a lot of people trying to get on/off the train. The woman and I get on at the same time and we both start walking toward a pair of empty seats. She sits down first and I sit next to her. I think her friend (behind us) was trying to nudge her way through but I got to the seat first.
They didn't say anything but I could tell they were annoyed and the woman who was standing kept complaining about how much stuff she was carrying (she just had a purse and a small lunch tote). I don't ever expect that I get a subway seat, especially when I'm riding during a weekday morning, so I didn't think I did anything wrong. Even though I got there before the second lady, they were saying passive aggressive things and I felt like they were expecting me to let her sit because they were together. If she was an older woman or someone with a child I would have definitely given them the seat. Otherwise I think subway seats are fair game, especially because I was feeling nauseous and definitely preferred to sit. AITA?
This is a pretty minor problem compared to some other problems here, but I appreciate any opinions about what I did/should have done.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q83TBTChtZHUmsNqbA80KsNYB7ffpNL9
|
axxew6
|
{
"description": "fake-punching a guy because he's been willingly annoying since 2 years",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for fake-punching a guy because he's been willingly annoying since 2 years ?
|
TL;DR : A guy in my school class likes to let the trash bin make a lot of noise squeaking since 2 years, already tell him that's really annoying for my ears, doesn't care, so today, I simulate a punch in his belly, didn't like it and I've been reprimanded by the teacher because I shouldn't be violent or show violence in any case.
I still feel bad for what I've done, but I still think that the guy (let's call him Mike) deserved it (I mean, I didn't knock him out or something like that, he even admit he wasn't hurt at all by my punch).
---
So, not really more infos than in the TL;DR, that's if you want more details on the story
FYI, We are 23 and on last year of a master degree, so there's no bully or victim thing, I'm not a bully and was actually a victim younger. Mike is also not a victim at all, nobody's a victim or a bully in our class.
Mike likes to be funny and when he found that the trash bin is making a lot of noise (you know, that's the [kind of trash bin where you have to push the top to throw in something](https://images.prod.meredith.com/product/cbaf68981fbe7608414c0e8e7daade24/1510946016901/l/umbra-mezzo-trash-can-rainbow)) and the top is doing like 10 going and comings if you push it strongly enough, he started to push it at the maximum to make a lot of noises.
I don't exactly remember how frequent he does it, but it must be around 2 times per week.
As I am not a morning person at all, I ask him rudely to stop that every time he does it in the morning. I can ignore the afternoon, but that's still annoying to me
This morning, we start class at 8AM (for me, that's a 6AM wake up) and he did it again. That was really too much and I was already up. So I walked to him and simulate a punch in his belly (stop my punch when my fist touched his belly) because words don't work.
Mike was really annoyed, repeating "not cool man, not the belly !" so I started to think "shit, is he kinda weak on this part ?"
But I ignore him, because I was still fed up because of the noise.
After maybe one minute, the teacher is calling me and asking me to come with him out of the class. Mike was outside, crying.
Then the teacher ask me some explanations, telling him that it has been 2 years that he is making that irritating noise and this time, this was too much for me. He tell me something like "It's just a noise, and what you show if violence, and you shoudn't be violent in any case"
After that, Mike explains that life has been tough for him recently, mostly because of the oral presentation of the thesis we made yesterday and that's why he is crying right now. I think my punch was more like a trigger for him.
I said sorry, didn't thought my act would hurt him and go back to class.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
i7S3a7ggbUgvByQImyJwg0hpg0ymVWiX
|
9zr194
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to change her drinking habits",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to change her drinking habits?
|
I (22M) have been dating her (21F) for a few months now and we are students at a pretty large college in the United States. Let me start off by saying that she’s not an alcoholic, she only goes out 1-3 times a week which is a pretty normal amount for a social outgoing person in college. However, whenever we do go out she always gets black out. Like there’s no in between, happy buzzed - it’s either completely sober or straight blackout.
A few weeks after we first met and started seeing each other I was out of town and she got blackout and kissed a guy. We’d only met two weeks before then and hadn’t defined anything so I told her how’d that make me feel in the future and we defined an exclusive relationship.
Since then, to my knowledge, there’s been no reason for me to not trust her when she’s gone out. But obviously there are nights where they do a girls night out, or I’m busy or want to do something with my friends. And she will still go out and get blackout drunk which makes me uncomfortable. I brought it up and explained that I think the behavior isn’t healthy and it’s not that I don’t trust her, it’s that I don’t trust other people and I want her to be safe because I’m not always gonna be out with her to watch out for her. She proceeded to get really upset and say that I’m accusing her of being an alcoholic and that I’m coming across as controlling in her social life. I’m not trying to seem controlling and tell her she can’t go out, I’m just asking that she doesn’t get so fucked up and put herself in a spot to be taken advantage of or do something dumb.
So am I the asshole for telling her I don’t want her to get that drunk when I’m not around? Am I coming across as controlling? Because like I said she’s given me no reason to believe that she can’t handle herself after we defined things.
tl;dr: girlfriend gets blackout when going out. I told her I’m not comfortable with it and she said I’m being controlling and I should be able to trust her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
CH9ttyvyqleCO0TdvYsPSuTZwDRGu6IL
|
ao22n7
|
{
"description": "never going to work parties",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for never going to work parties?
|
My colleaugues have a monthly party or meal, it usually is expensive (around £40, plus food and drinks on top) and I never go. Mostly because I love my partner of 5 years and want to spend my free time hanging out with her, but partly because I think my colleaugues are gross.
There's only about 15 in my office, but 3 of them cheated on their husbands/wives at the Christmas party. They have also bullied me due to my mental illness in the past and are hostile towards my best friend who is one of the greatest guys I know. They're heavy drinkers, they like to get into fights and shag each other. I hardly drink and I like staying home with my other half and watch films or have a long walk.
They are so mad at me for not going to any work parties that they're trying to push me put of the company for 'not being a teamplayer'. I am really starting to doubt myself. What do you guys think? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PKxTDOGjqtjk05yVzS5aq1OHq2f4mDOJ
|
b4p3rj
|
{
"description": "having dinners with my ex and son without including my current girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 169,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for having dinners with my ex and son without including my current girlfriend?
|
My son is six. His mother has custody, but we have a good relationship and as long as I give her notice I can see my son whenever. We also do a once a week or once every other week dinner somewhere just the three of us depending on our schedules.
I’ve been dating my current girlfriend for about four months. She does not like that I have these dinners. She calls them dates. She wants to be included in them, but I’m not comfortable with that just yet. If we work out long term, sure. It just seems too soon to me right now. I can understand her apprehension at the situation though.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 138,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 31,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 169,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
6mwMItFiaHCG8kQyWQfp4Zk75y21I7U5
|
9ztttk
|
{
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to wait to eat, bathe, etc when I have a problem",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA if I want my girlfriend to wait to eat, bathe, etc when I have a problem?
|
Today I started to talk to my girlfriend about a problem I was having when she said "I gotta go eat with my family now. I'll be back later." She expects me to put my life on hold for all of her small problems but when one comes up with me, she suddenly goes quiet. I'm convinced she didn't really need to eat and she was just trying to get out of listening to my problems and being supportive.
​
​
Bonus- yesterday she refused to text me while she was at college and at work, or while she was traveling home. She claimed that she needed to wear mittens but it was only -15 where she lives. She is used to those temperatures and she should be able to tough it out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
zPdls7hAlUBbDegWIami2MAHq6T0QY0M
|
b8xia5
|
{
"description": "constantly asking my mom to give the money she owes me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for constantly asking my mom to give the money she owes me
|
So lets start from the beginning. My school has a once every school year business simulation where the high school comes up with a business and executes it in school grounds. Our class decided for our business to be a diner. We all worked hard together for 3 days in a row and we ended up being the most successful. Our paycheck for each of us in the class was around 2100 (its not US currency as i do not want to state what country i live in). I planned to spend this money for myself but it was at this time our annual retreat for the class was coming up and my mom, who is the one supposed to pay for it, hasn't paid for it yet and this basically costed me my paycheck. So i was pressured to pay for it as it was coming close.
I had hoped my mom would pay me back soon but it has been months and she hasnt. I kept asking for months to no success. Though i now have found out that recently my family is going through alot and needed alot of money just for the hospital that my grandmother was staying in and now i dont want to keep asking about the money she owes me. Just to also make clear though from the stuff i have been hearing these bills costs milions (again not in US currency). So reddit answer me am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
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"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
VINpc0MVBeoTPVEs5GUWpct2Dhqo0LCh
|
agtu67
|
{
"description": "being flaky with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being flaky with my ex?
|
I broke up with my partner a little over a month ago, at the beginning of December. The break-up wasn't mutual, but it was civil. We vaguely talked about wanting to stay friends, but wanting to see how we progressed apart. And we did hang out as "friends" not long after, cause we'd bought tickets to my favorite band quite a while before the break-up and didn't really wanna mess with that. When we met up, we both delivered the Christmas presents we'd already bought for each other. Fast forward to after Christmas, they tell me that their parents had also gotten me gifts for Christmas, and my ex wanted to meet up to deliver them.
Now I don't mind seeing them again. I don't really think my ex will continue to be a big part of my life moving forwards, but I don't mind seeing them every now and then. But my ex lives 2 hours away, and I only have one day I could go visit them. So I really don't wanna spend my one day off and drive 4 hours round trip just to hang out with my ex. But I told em I'd try, but have come up with excuses at the last minute two weeks in a row. Now they're starting to get angry that I continue to push them away and put them off, but.... we broke up. They're not a real high priority for me right now. And I can think of a lot better things to do than go drive 4 hours to see someone I intentionally cut out of my life.
Am I really off base here? Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
ZUP6su1S0pfkgmWPGZZif9qmnhiKYES6
|
aplae4
|
{
"description": "wanting my family member to put down a crippled, old, failing dog",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if i want my family member to put down a crippled, old, failing dog?
|
CW: guns <- at home euthanasia brief mention
Bg: the dog, let's call her Lass, is 14. Small-medium size puppy mill dog. She has severe hip dysplasia and can no longer stand or walk on her own. She has become incontinent, repeatedly gets infected with tapeworms, and day in day out nobody in the family pays attention to her aside from food water and the bathroom. She's underweight due to the recurrent worm infections, and can be hostile towards our dog (who actually lives here, Lass is my stepmoms dog who stays here a lot when she is over). My stepmom refuses to put Lass down despite her having no quality of life anymore and is inconveniencing the rest of us.
I understand that grief goes different for everyone and my stepmom has had Lass for a very long time now, but I've been there and done that. I had to watch as my dad took my cat out back to put him down with a bullet to the back of the head (we couldn't afford the euthanasia which was $400) and couldn't stop crying for days on end before and after it happened. She needs to learn that life ends. When you keep the dog around simply because you can't let go you are doing a disservice to the dog and yourself.
AITA for wanting to push further the idea of euthanizing Lass?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PmoK2hYy22UAlKjJ6QzWTXtKJhbwYh3q
|
b732hp
|
{
"description": "cutting my twin sister out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I cut my twin sister out of my life?
|
So there is a lot of context here and back story but I really want people to be well informed so sorry for the long post.
My twin sister is kind if a nightmare. I love her dearly and she is my best friend but she is the most self absorbed person I have ever met.
During our teens she was beyond horrible to me but that's a very long story. Most of this stuff I brushed off because at the time she was undiagnosed and therefore unmedicated, for bipolar disorder. The trouble was though that as soon as my family found out it became 'don't make her upset. Just do what she wants.' And this set a bad habit for the future.
Then I met my husband and moved out. By now we were both adults and despite still being a spoiled bitch, she had calmed down a lot and had become happier, funnier, and usually an honest delight to be around. We were finally best friends like I had always wanted.
Now my sister has no close friends at all and cycles from one majorly abusive relationship to the next. (The most recent being a violent drug dealer with gang ties who would hit her, steal her money, and cheat on her). Because of her lack of healthy relationships she really clings to me and is super protective.
She HATES my husband and uses any chance she can to talk shit about him. She even tried to figuratively blow up our wedding (that's a way longer story) and has been trying to get me to divorce my husband ever since all because "he's a selfish asshole".
Now to be fair my husband has admitted her is both selfish and that most people think he is an asshole. He is sarcastic, very guarded, sometimes rude, but he is also funny, sweet, caring, a hard worker, so loving and just so much more. I love him so damn much.
It's frustrating to me because she can tear my husband down all while dating and angrily defending the absolutely horrible men she goes for.
My husband has and would never cheat, be abusive in any way. Sure you can argue he is an asshole but he isn't anything compared to these guys. But now that we have moved to another city he is the horrible man who stole her sister.
It's reached a point where I feel like my heart is absolutely being torn in half. I know my husband doesn't like her either but usually he keeps it to himself. That's all I have asked of her and she can't even do that. I don't feel like I can live with this amount of toxicity anymore, it's having horrible impacts of my physical and metal health.
WIBTA to cut contact with her completely?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vYW7peFI0KdDN8xaWFxuVZ2Xa2a3fH9r
|
arjsy8
|
{
"description": "not wanting to meet my bestfriends boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to meet my bestfriends boyfriend.
|
Throwaway, because my friend knows my other account. I’ll try to give as much context as I can and excuse the formatting, I’m on mobile.
So my best friend[19] met this man [35] fresh out of high school when she was still 17 and he was 33 at the time. She told me about him, how he was sweet and caring, but I wasn’t so fond of him considering the huge age gap and I also wondered what would a man like him want to do with a 17 year-old? She also told me he has a kid with an ex-gf, but he didn’t get custody of his kid, I asked her why, but she never really explained to me what exactly went on besides saying that his ex-gf was pretty crazy, which I thought was weird. Fast forward, she moved in with him last year and she recently just found out she’s pregnant. I was honestly devastated. She’s my best friend and I do wish her the best and I’m trying to be really supportive, but I didn’t think she’d want to have a kid so soon. I told her I never thought she’d want to have a baby so soon, but she said she’s “changed” which I get people have different life goals, if this is hers then cool. (Btw it wasn’t a planned pregnancy) Anyway, eventually I’m gonna have to meet him because she plans to throw a gender reveal party, but ever since she’s told me about him I have this eerie feeling about him. I just can’t seem to like him even though I haven’t met him and I don’t know why. I just can’t brush aside the huge age gap difference I think it’s extremely weird, but she says he makes her happy so there’s that. Does it make me an asshole for not wanting to lowkey meet him because I find him creepy for seeking a girl fresh out of high school and the fact that he doesn’t make an effort to visit his kid.
It’s just so weird because he’s old enough to be our dad if he were to have had a kid at age 16.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SiIDWmjkMTHMDqOB21eeL3tQp1L12dBY
|
b1z4bz
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut contact with the guy who has a crush on me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for wanting to cut contact with the guy who has a crush on me?
|
tl;dr at the bottom.
I've posted the first half of this before (see post history), but this time, I have additional info.
I'm [18F] one of two girls in a seven person group. One of the guys, who we'll call David [18M], treats me differently from the other guys and the girl in our group in ways I won't elaborate on, but it does involve excessive staring, constant agreement, and general following around. David does not do this with other people in our group.
I've known David since we were kids, but didn't interact from middle school until the beginning of this school year. After waiting several months to observe this, (approximately half a year) David's different treatment to me still hasn't changed and I generally feel uncomfortable around him. I asked a person in our group if they knew anything about it and they essentially agreed with everything I said, saying they were afraid to make assumptions as well.
I feel awful because David is a really nice guy. But I just can't help feeling uncomfortable around him. It really bothers me when I hang out with him one on one and it doesn't seem like the other group members have a problem with him because he really doesn't have anything wrong about him.
Now here's the weird part.
David is seemingly obsessed with me.
At first, I found out it was just an innocent crush. And that's fine. Then, he started hating on all of my guy friends. A little immature, but fine. But then, I found out he has a gaming account with a picture of my face and his name being my name.
A profile picture with *my face* on a *public domain*. AND my name. That's bloody creepy.
And apparently, my friends have been telling him to take it down. For several MONTHS. He refuses. He doesn't know that I know, but this is crazy and borderline obsessive. I don't want to see him around--ever.
tl;dr: my friend has a crush on me and I want to cut all contact with him. He has a gaming profile (public domain) with my face and name on it.
WIBTA for wanting to cut all contact?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fQkyi4owwq51YGCoq2ZZ9gEfRjaZ9Obu
|
b8c12e
|
{
"description": "ignoring my dad",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring my dad?
|
Formating on mobile, engilish is my first language just bad at writing and spelling.
For my whole life ive been nerdy and focus on school and not sports. My dad was the complete opposite, he was sporty, average/below average grades. He always wanted a athletic son. He says I have all the best things in an athlete, i'm tall and and well built, note i'm not saying this, he is. Any way, my mom raised me as a single mother since I was born till I was 6. She then got married to my current step dad. He has always been pretty open with how disapointment I am. I always brushed it off until I was around 12.(Last year) I started to voice how I don't like it. He never stopped and it only got worse when his girlfriend moved in. Since then ive felt like an outcast in my own family. We went to therapy sometime around August-November. We stopped going after he called me a waste of his time. I then ignored him for a while. He has seen me twice since then, on christmass with our family (which i ignored him the entire time.) And his birthday march 10th. He texted and called me multiple times a day, asking me to come over even after I told him to stop. It got to the point where I needed to say if he contacted me from that point further the police would be involved. He stopped contacting me. Yay, right? Nope. He twisted the story, and told our family some twisted version that clearly made him look like the victim. Family members i've never met were coming to tell me I needed to forget about it. I asked if they knew the whole story, they said yeah told me what they heard, shocker, it wasn't the real story. I told them about what he had done, constantaly putting me down and just everything he said and has done. When I finished they told me I was lying and had to get over myself.
I said he could call and text me about a week ago.
I dont talk to him unless he calls me, ive told him I dont want to see him.
AITA for ghosting him?
Sorry about the post bouncing around i'm bad at formating and stuff like that.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b1zsv0
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{
"description": "being furious that my landlords/boyfriend's parents come by every weekend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being furious that my landlords/boyfriend's parents come by EVERY weekend
|
My boyfriend and I are 'house sitting' his parents house while they're on a mission (Mormons) but we pay rent monthly. They're living less than an hour away for their assignment.
Now we've been here for 3 months out of the 25 months they're away. They're giving us a great deal on rent and all but they come by every.single.weekend. There's been a few where they haven't but there's constantly a bullshit reason. I'm not "allowed" to watch anything on tv with sex or swearing or anything while they're here, can't play GTA, or walk around with a bra or pants on- ya know, being comfortable in my own home - because this is "disrespectful" according to my boyfriend/their beliefs.
My boyfriend cleans the house like mad or has me do all of it because having toys in the living room is 'messy' and his mom will be pissed. But we have a toddler and I'm currently pregnant.
Usually they give me a warning they're coming but today I received NONE. I was walking around in a sexy robe with nothing underneath (maternity clothes in the wash)and making dinner. My boyfriend just had surgery so the house wasn't in stellar shape but no way dirty at all - just some toy boxes laying around and blankets on the couch with boyfriend.
I'm pretty pissed. We can't have a single weekend to just relax and I feel entitled to it. I work from home so when he's home/baby naps it's my only off time. My boyfriend says that I'm not entitled to being pissed because they see this as their house (it's been paid off for 15 years) and it doesn't matter that I pay rent. I've tried to be understanding that they've lived in this house for 40 years and may really need to grab more stuff but last visit his mom mentioned that "[bfs dad] will be mad if I bring anything else home" but there's really not much here of theirs besides beds and random kitchen stuff (plastic ware, pie pans, etc). Boyfriend says they're spying which is further supported by the fact that their random Mormon friends in the neighborhood keep stopping by even tho we don't know them. I went off today when they left about how fucking rude it is and I was told that we have to clean up before they come back later so his mom isn't pissed.
Tldr: am I an asshole for hating that I pay rent and can't use the home as my own because bfs parents/landlords have a key and walk in whenever they want?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
X7Ab34jr95K2FcpV2b238qYtPEezNGs9
|
anmo7k
|
{
"description": "telling a mom and her kids to be quiet during Beauty and the Beast",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a mom and her kids to be quiet during Beauty and the Beast?
|
So obviously this happened a long time ago and I always wondered if I was the asshole.
Having loved the animated Beauty and the Beast when I was a kid, I was really looking forward to seeing the live action movie with Emma Watson. We lived in a small, rural town at the time with no theater so we drove an hour and a half away on our day off to see an afternoon showing.
Even though it’s not a cartoon, I knew there were gonna be kids there that were gonna act like kids. So there was a lot of AHHH, GAH, and general gasps of exuberance from kids that I didn’t mind and the parents made sure their kids didn’t get too excited.
But this one lady in front of us had three kids with her and was carrying on full conversations with them and it didn’t even seem like they were watching the movie. During the yellow dress dance scene I snapped and said sternly “please be quiet.”
Mom: who YOU talking to?
Me: I’m talking to you and your kids
LAdy: what the hell, they’re kids, they kids, who do you think you are, etc.
Me: you’re not the only one here. So watch the movie
Mom: YOU watch the movie
So normally I wouldn’t even question who was the asshole here, but since this was what could be considered a kids movie, WAS I THE ASSHOLE?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ac64g5
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{
"description": "ditching my best friend's farewell party because of my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA if I ditch my best friend's farewell party because of my girlfriend?
|
My best friend will be moving to another country for at least 3 years to take his master's degree. He told us he is not sure when he will be able to go back because he also planning to get a job there to support his studies and eventually build a life (we are not demanding anything of him, especially just to visit us). So for at least 3 years, the only sure way we'll be seeing him is online.
He has been my best friend since high school. This is a big deal because I am a very antisocial and introvert person, and he is among the very few people who I feel really comfortable being myself with. He even told me himself he wanted me to be there because I am his closest friend.
However, his farewell party coincides with my girlfriend's work event. It's like a super formal black tie mixer party for their current and potential clients, and she said she needs me to be her date. She has severe social anxiety, so I really want to be there for her (although I don't look forward to mingling with people because as I said, I'm antisocial as well). She is also one of the organizers of the event, so it's kind of a must to bring a date.
My best friend's farewell party has been set since last month, while my girlfriend only told me of her event last week. I have already confirmed to my best friend that I'd be going (I even told him I would bring my gf along), so I will essentially be canceling my attendance. I have also asked him if he could move the date of his party, but he said a lot of people have already confirmed, so I didn't push further.
Now, I am faced with what I think is an impossible choice, but I am leaning toward being with my girlfriend that night because aside from the fact that we'll get to spend quality time together, I don't want her to have social anxiety (or at least face it alone). I am afraid I might turn into that guy who ditches his friends for his SO though.
Would I be an asshole if I choose my gf's event over my best friend's farewell party?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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|
ba6r4s
|
{
"description": "not being able to stand my autistic coworker",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not being able to stand my autistic coworker?
|
I work at a tech company that recently established an "Autism at work" program. The company made a huge push to hire autistic folks as an "untapped talent", which I totally get and think that it's a great initiative.
"Johnny" was hired onto our team as a QA tester through this program. The only experience with computers he's had is working as a repair tech at a previous job. He has no formal programming experience or experience with software development at all.
I...can't stand him. The lack of experience isn't the issue, it's just the fact that he's just straight up bad at his job and obnoxious.
When he was hired he worked with another QA tester who would basically hold his hand through everything and he was able to write QA tests and do the job.
Well, management decided that he was so good at his job (that he wasn't actually doing on his own) that they'd promote him to full-time. Shortly thereafter, the other QA tester left on paternity leave for almost half a year.
Shit. Hit. The. Fan.
Every meeting we'd have to discuss the work for the next two weeks, we would talk about what needed to be done and always check that he would understand. He would nod his head enthusiastically and say that he did.
We'd meet a week later to review his test scenarios and most of them were just straight up irrelevant or showed a clear lack of understanding of the work. We'd explain why they were wrong, he'd say "oh I get it now", and then we'd check back a day later and his new tests were also wrong.
Eventually we got to the point where we would basically write the test scenarios for him as a team. That didn't fix anything either. He would complete the tests and claim the tests all looked good, then we'd roll our code to production and end up with major issues that should have been caught during testing.
Past all this, he's just obnoxiously annoying. Constantly during serious business meetings he will say stupid "jokes" that take us off track and just annoy people ("oh that doesn't work, must be because we're using Winblows rather than Linux", "oh our server went down, must be the damn Russians trying to get Hillary's emails", “that task looks like it’ll take 246 years to finish, might as well just give up now”). When he has a question during testing he doesn't even attempt to be specific ("yeah so there's a problem with the doohickey where the doohickey doesn't work" is an actual quote I've been told many times)
I brought this up with my mentor at work and was told "he's autistic, you're being rude, he needs a lot of patience" but I think it's a ridiculous standard to hold someone to. If he wasn't autistic he would have been fired months ago because he's just straight up incompetent at his job.
I'm at my wit's end dealing with this, and I feel like I'm the only one that is at a breaking point dealing with it every day. AITA for not being able to stand this guy?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
VGGWAUGkP8OdSes3dhFKr5j8O1yGZNaA
|
a61nbd
|
{
"description": "flirting with a girl in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for flirting with a girl in a relationship?
|
I'm not sure if it constitutes flirting and where the line is, so read on and let me know.
There is a girl I really started to like. So I started talking to her, we got closer. She was very friendly, and I thought she was interested too. This wasn't within a large time span. Maybe three weeks overall.
At some point, however, it slipped by that she's got a boyfriend. Now, within our common friend group this seems to have been common knowledge. I think she expected me to know too. At this time, he's working in a separate country. I don't know the details of their relationship, but it seems they've been together for a while. I have no particular reasons to suspect it's not going well, either.
Since learning that, I haven't started seeing her less. I don't make any moves or anything like that, but we've seen a few films together, hang out in the evenings, etc, but there is some tension (and frequency) that I don't notice with my other female friends. Maybe it's my subjective perception. Overall, I'd say it's within casual flirting territory, but not too deep. I don't know how else to describe that.
Now, by itself, this situation wouldn't warrant me to post here. "Ok, sure - she hangs out with you - that her decision", etc. My problem is that *I* know why I'm there. That I want to date her, that I like her, all that. That the eye contact, the shared laughs - what those things mean to me.
And I'm unsure what to do - I don't want to stop being friends with her, I feel like there is a valuable connection that I don't have elsewhere. But I feel like a healthier thing to do would be to make some distance between us.
And what I'm doing now, is keeping on with what I've been doing. I'm trying not to cross any lines, but I do think we're getting closer slowly, as time passes. Maybe that in of itself is a line.
Let me know your opinion please. Thanks.
PS: this is a throwaway account, if that matters.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
ad4c2FtCgEHDPA0VTDRBe3tc621yOC0S
|
9z7pmz
|
{
"description": "not collecting my 16 year old daughter",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not collecting my 16 year old daughter?
|
I have two daughters with my ex. I have them both 2-3 days a week. This is reasonably flexible and they can come and stay more or less if they please. They are both of an age where they want to see their friends etc...I don't get much notice of change and I'm fine with that.
On one of the days that I DON'T have my eldest (16) she plays netball at a place 12 miles from my house, and 5 miles from her mother's house.
She asked me to collect her tonight. Initially, I said yes as I figured she would be staying at my house. It transpired that she was staying at her mother's instead.
I was busy at the time so asked her if she could get a lift with one of the other players. She said she couldn't as the other player who drives was staying on to referee another game and wouldn't be leaving until an hour later.
The trip for me is one hour and 20 minutes.
I was in the middle of cooking so arranged a taxi for her and paid for it over the phone. She was collected on time and taken to her mother's house in a trip that took around 10 minutes.
I've just had her ranting at me that I would pick up my girlfriend but not her etc...(my gf lives 6 minutes away and I would only pick her up if it were straight from work or similar, not 3 hours later).
I then had her mother on the phone ranting at me that I've destroyed my relationship with my daughter and I should be picking her up whenever she asks etc...
All this despite it not being my night to have her and having arranged a taxi in my place to save time and hassle for all concerned.
Am I the arsehole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
glMYAjh76OKt9fGtSG9URkOaXPyKrMVS
|
azaabr
|
{
"description": "posting an amazon wishlist on the event page for my daughter's first birthday",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I posted an amazon wishlist on the event page for my daughter's first birthday?
|
I don't want anyone to feel like they HAVE to get her anything, but if people do happen to want to bring her a gift, I really just don't want her to get a bunch of stuff she doesn't need. I don't mean for that to sound ungrateful or shitty or anything. But she has a lot of toys already and she really doesn't need 50 stuffed animals. I only have so much room and there are tons of things she actually needs with the warmer weather coming up. I have items ranging from 5-6 bucks, to my most expensive item being 30. But most things I would say are around 15 dollars. Would posting this list as a guide/gift idea type thing make me an asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
JUpK5nWksnoUC3kfzd65pNcqCDpBnYzu
|
ayayhs
|
{
"description": "telling my dad's girlfriend I never wanted to see her again",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my dad's girlfriend I never wanted to see her again.
|
You will have to excuse the formatting I am doing this on mobile and it's my first post. Now this 'story' is a bit old but sometimes I still get caught up in wondering if I was an asshole or not and I figured I should get some unbiased views from the am I the asshole community.
Now, my (f17) parents got divorced when I was 12 and custody of me and my two younger siblings (f15 and m13) was split 50 50 so we spend one week at one house and the next week at the other.
My dad has been dating this woman, let's call her Y for about three and a half years. This took place last summer so they had been dating for around 3 years. Y and I originally got on when my dad introduced us but as soon as she moved in to our house we started to butt heads more and more. (Just small things, ask me if curious)
Sorry for all this excess information and the way my story is jumping around, it's just hard to compose my thoughts. Let's get on to the actual incident
After a holiday we were driving back home from the airport around 3 in the morning. My brother and my sister were quite hyper so were speaking quite loudly, with my brother being the loudest. Y was trying to sleep so kept telling my brother to 'shut up' in a rather harsh tone of voice.
Soon we were nearly home and she told him to shut up again.I am quite protective over my siblings so I sat up looked her dead in the eye and said, "how about you shut up for once huh?" Not my best move I admit. After this, she did and we arrived home where we went to sleep.
I was woken up maybe 4 hours later by a knock on the door and Y walked in. She then proceeded to say the following, I will try to write it as best as I remember.
"You are a horrible child you know, a right nasty piece of work. Evil even. You know that no one in your family likes you right? Even your grandma, they all think you are a horrible spoilt child." And so on.
She was basically screaming this at me and I was sitting crying. After, she left and my brother came in and gave me a hug before my dad came in to have a go at me for being rude to Y. (I would just like to say I love my dad and he is a wonderful dad but sometimes he can act without knowing the whole story).
After he left I messaged my mum to try and go home to hers but I wasn't allowed as it was my dad's week.
Anyway I will skip a bunch of other stuff like going for a walk with my mum ect to the main point because this is getting a bit long.
The next day I told my dad I never wanted to see Y again as she said some truly horrible stuff to me. He said okay and has kept his word (apart from a later incident which I may post later) but I know that it probably makes life difficult for him as she is his girlfriend and they haven't broken up.
So, AITA for still refusing to see my dad's girlfriend even though I know it makes my dad's life harder.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
4IWYZMByMJ5MdEmBJhPTucqapfvlce9R
|
a26hoi
|
{
"description": "not taking my friends shift because I was high",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not taking my friends shift because I was high
|
Look I’ll get to the point, my friend who trained me on my job asked me to take his shift today because he’s feeling incredibly sick, and I trust him. Today is my day off, so I decided to smoke. But I just got done smoking a bit before he texted me and since this is only like my fourth time getting high. I do NOT wanna go to my job while I’m high, I wouldn’t be able to work at all and I’d be fucking everything up. So I told him I’m sorry but I can’t, and told him the reason. He just said “okay fine”.
TLDR: friend asked me to take his shift but I just got high and was not confident in my abilities to do my job, so I told him no.
Am I the asshole for this? I just feel bad
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Ox2cBT9ZxnapyUBUdevdcsxKBYXhcwVD
|
a8fgp5
|
{
"description": "walking away from my crying mother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for walking away from my crying mother?
|
My mother, who was looking for the bagels in the kitchen, asked my brother who had noise cancelling headphones on where they were. He told her they were in the freezer, to which she responded 'what?', causing him to speak louder and respond again. She responded 'what?' again causing him to raise his voice and repeat in much louder in an exasperated tone. 'They're in the freezer!'
She yelled at him to watch his tone and cut the attitude and that he shouldn't dare speak to his mother that way. He defended himself and said that he hadn't done anything wrong, she misheard him so he spoke louder. She tried to send him to his room but he argued that he'd only answered her question and that he wasn't trying to sound aggressive. He eventually caves after our mother took his phone and goes to his room.
I hear all of this take place whilst I'm wrapping their christmas presents and when I go out to put them under the tree, my mother remarks 'you probably heard all of that.' I say yes, I did, and she says 'I bet you're on his side and think he did nothing wrong.' I say yes, I am. I told her I think he was just trying to speak loud enough for her to hear and that she responded a bit too angrily.
She then says 'but he sounded so mean' and starts crying. I don't think she deserves comforting since she was being so passive-aggressive and punishing my brother for a silly thing, so I just say 'he wasn't trying to be mean' and walk back to my room. As I leave the room she screams 'yeah, that's right, just do nothing, just leave your mother here. You have no compassion whatsoever do you MedicMoth?' I ignored her.
AITA for walking away? I don't think I should be required to comfort her especially seeing as I'm the child and I disagree with her and think she's being childish, but I still feel really bad since she's been really stressed out with work and christmas stuff lately. She often says she doesn't deserve to be treated so badly by us children after everything we do for her and that the least she can expect is a hug, but last time she pushed me away and told me to leave her alone and stop touching her, so I'm not really willing to play that game. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ceORgNiScIdXKXIMqqzAJUgY796iev5l
|
b1v94o
|
{
"description": "refusing to give my sister food because I offered to buy her some",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I refused to give my sister food because I offered to buy her some.
|
Bad mobile formatting let's move on
So this happened yesterday and was wondering if I was the asshole. It was late and We couldn't be assed to cook. So we drove over there. No idea why she tagged along but I figured she might Change her mind.
We got there (30 minute drive) and I asked her You hungry? I'll pay. And she responded with. I am good thanks. So I was like. Aight I'll order my food (I'm 6.2 and skinny.
So time flies and I was ready to eat. She then asked me if I would share some because she changed her mind. I responded with, No I offered you food and you declined. She then responded Come on please. So I responded with No. You turned it down and its not fair to me now.
She called me an Asshole. So Reddit ATIA
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
hw2hc63CinYgL3g4cB7783heNQkknqlH
|
b54s05
|
{
"description": "throwing my SIL a Baby Shower",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for throwing my SIL a Baby Shower?
|
My husband has a brother and a sister. His sister and I have never gotten along, let's call her Amanda. His brother is a fantastic guy and a close friend, let's call him James.
Amanda is exceptionally entitled and often rude. We have known each other for 20 years, and have managed a civil relationship.
My husband and I were the first to have a child. While several people in my husbands family insisted that they be invited to the baby shower, no one bothered to throw one. I ended up not having a baby shower at all, which was a bit of a downer.
So the following year when Amanda was expecting, I did not throw a baby shower either. She had three kids total (the last one only a month ago) and no one threw any baby showers that I am aware of. I am not sure what my MILs excuse was, but no one held a party for me and I dislike Amanda, so I decided not to take the trouble.
Now James, in his late 30s, has finally found the love of his life, Carla. We are over the moon happy for James as Carla is a lovely and outgoing lady. They are expecting. I want to throw a baby shower, and show Carla our love and support.
But is this a slap in Amanda's face? She is definitely a touchy bitch, and very much my MILs favorite, so give me the tough love reddit.
tl;dr Did not throw a baby shower for one crappy SIL, now want to throw one for a nice one. WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
MDcsb1GBAI3WEVHg3R9MoIat4z1qnirp
|
b2nk60
|
{
"description": "confronting my roommate about who does the dishes",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for confronting my roommate about who does the dishes?
|
Backstory: My lifelong friend and I (both 24M) recently moved in together after some life changes on my end. I (verbally) agreed to do the dishes as he hates it and I have (or had) no issue with them. This was fine for a few months, no problems.
Recently I've been dining out a lot or just not been at home often and therefore have not been dirtying up many dishes. Those that I do use (and they are few and far between) end up washed that day/night or the following night (we do not make use of our automated dishwasher. His decision). My roommate uses a lot of the dishes, probably 1-2 plates a day and 1-2 drinking glasses every 2 days.
The complaint: I do 100% of the dishes regardless of how often I am home or how many dishes I use. If I leave to visit family for the weekend, there will be a pile of dirty dishes waiting for me when I get back. This upsets me as I clean all that I use and he cleans nothing that he uses whilst I am absent.
The question: WIBTA if I brought this to his attention? Am I just being childish and should I suck it up and do all the dishes as was agreed?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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aztgf2
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{
"description": "going off on my gf when she called me a bad pet owner",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for going off on my GF when she called me a bad pet owner?
|
So to start off my girlfriend and I share a dog. I work at a police department and saved him from the pound as a puppy despite living in a no-pets property. I pay for his food, vet bills, and half of his toys and equipment like leashes.
My girlfriend is in college and works part time. I pay for her meals when we are together, pay for gas, tutor her, and even do some of her schoolwork for her and teach her the concepts afterwards because she procrastinates a lot. In return, she takes care of our dog when she’s not in school, cleans my place up on occasion, and promises that she’ll get a good job when she’s out of school so I can work on my business and look into becoming an EMT (lower pay than my current job). We live separately.
This morning, following a 12 hour shift of bullshit and spring breakers,I stayed up for her to stop by and drop off Fido on her way to school. I called her on the way over and at some point she said something about she wanted to sell our dog yesterday. I asked why and she said to give it a better home than what I provide, and said she only refused to sell him because she (correctly) thought I’d be pissed. She then said she thought I was a bad dog owner. I exploded.
Every day Fido gets at least 20 minutes of play time no matter how tired or busy I am. He often gets more. Up until today, he had the whole yard to run in freely and was visited daily by my niece while I sleep in addition to our daily 20 minutes of play/walkies. He is going to have to spend some time in his 5x10 kennel the next few days as a pool is being put in and he cannot roam freely in the dig site without being supervised, and she cited this and the fact that I don’t take him to the dog park as reasons why I’m a bad owner. Apparently the dog park is leagues better for a dog’s mental health than walking, even if you’re nocturnal and can only go at times no other dogs are there. She also doesn’t accept the fact that I walk him or play with him daily despite the fact she’s never here to see it.
I was triggered to say the least. I brought up the tutoring, the money I give her, called her an ungrateful smartass, everything in the book. I said something along the lines of “How can you even say that to me right now without realizing what a huge piece of shit it makes you”. She at some point said she didn’t care what I thought and now we’re not talking to each other.
We’re generally happy together but this is a recurring argument (she does not think I ever spend time with him for some reason) that I’m looking to put to rest.
Am I the Asshole for going off on her so harshly?
Am I the Asshole for giving insufficient care to Fido or is what I can give enough?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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a67hzc
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{
"description": "questioning my po",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for questioning my PO?
|
So I'm on probation for Flagrant No support. Which is lack of child support payments adding up to a certain amount of debt. I didn't flake on payments and end up behind like a deadbeat but I won't get into what happened as it's neither here nor there right now. The context is that I have to report to my PO once a month, and pay a fee every month for certain supervision supplied by the probation/parole officer. One of these fees is $50/month for drug screens. Yet I haven't been given a single drug screen in six months. So this past Thursday during my report I asked my PO if they would either screen me, or get rid of those fees. My purpose was that: "I don't mind taking the drug screens, I don't do drugs so I have nothing to hide, but I'm paying for them monthly and could be using that money towards paying off my child support debt instead. Seems rather frivolous on my end and rather mundane on theirs."
My PO half understood and half got offended. As if I was telling her how to do her job. And it wasn't at all my agenda. I just thought it was a point to bring up. Either give me the screens so I'm paying for something legitimately or stop making me waste money.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
agxx91
|
{
"description": "wanting privacy or respect",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting privacy or respect?
|
So, quick preface, I'm 17, a senior in high school. I'm also posting on mobile, so the formatting will probably be lacking.
Anyways, this morning I woke up and checked my email on my desktop, where my dad, who works from home, heard me and asked me what I'm doing. I casually replied with "Nothing", and he got upset that I didn't tell him specifically what I was doing. I clarified that I actually meant "Nothing of importance", to which he started yelling that he wanted to know exactly what I was doing right now. I eventually told him, but the disagreement escalated into an argument where he said, and has said previously before, that as I am a minor, I deserve no right to privacy and no respect from him or my mother.
Am I being unreasonable or an asshole by wanting them to give me space and stop inserting themselves into my life, or am I just being a little emo bitch?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a3vu0p
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{
"description": "not wanting to walk my roommates dog",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to walk my roommates dog?
|
My longtime friend (who happens to be my roommate) owns a dog that he seldom gives attention to due to waking up late and working a full time job.
AITA for not wanting to walk him and take care of him (he’s been asking more than usual lately) due to me being a busy full time college student who works as well? This was never the plan before we moved in together and it was never discussed as a possibility.
I want to be a good friend but I also don’t find it reasonable to handle pet duties when he’s not my own.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9ud970
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{
"description": "getting mad at friend who I doesn't have time for me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at friend who I doesn't have time for me?
|
So I met this (male, 25) colleague around 6 months ago. I'm a 20 yo woman. We started getting close, but he told me from the beginning he wasn't looking for a relationship with me. I was totally fine with that, and still am.
As we started getting closer, he told me a story of how he was betrayed by someone who he immensely trusted, and that let to attachment issues from his side. Fine, I'll just be careful with you.
So he goes to bars sometimes with other colleagues, which is also fine by me. At one point all this drama starts at work, and he leaves and gets a job somewhere else. He said he will definitely stay in contact with the people he liked, which included me and those colleagues he went to bars with. We were pretty damn close at this point.
Since he works someplace else, the contact has faded. I started to feel like I was always the one who kept conversations going. At one point i decided to put as much effort in our friendship as he did. The contact faded even more, and he started sending me bitmoji chats on snapchat or Facebook tags. That was the only way of contact.
I see that he still sees the bar-friends at least 1 time every week (thanks snapchat), but he never invites me over or anything.. I'm not gonna ask to come over, because I already did a 1000 times, and he can put some effort in it too! When I don't say anything to him for a few days, he tags me in some shit on Facebook and starts with the bitmoji chats again, which just isn't a proper conversation IMO.
So I scolded him on WhatsApp today. I told him I was actually distancing myself from him because he just didn't put any effort in the friendship. He never wants to see me or have a nice convo with me. He answers that he is busy, also in the weekends (not true, I've seen him meet the bar-friends on snapchat in weekend AND weekdays..), and I live too far away compared to the bar-friends that live in the same town as him. I only live 15 minutes away from him, so that's bullshit.
I think he's mad at me now. He hasn't answered yet. Am I the asshole for getting mad at him? We were really close and it really sucks to see him getting more distant but still meeting the others.. But I also feel like I'm a psycho drama queen for making such a big deal of it.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
aovigz
|
{
"description": "being mad my dad planned my future for me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for being mad my dad planned my future for me
|
Currently, I'm 16 and going through my EMT-B course to become a Emergency Medical Technician. It's what I've wanted to do for years now and I've made this very clear to friends and family. I've actually made a good plan for myself and what I'll do after high school, I'm very excited to get out into the world. My dad was hesitant to accept my career choice, and even less enthusiastic when I brought the Navy into it. He started by gently encouraging me to pick up welding or HVAC or some other trade. I understand where he's coming from with this, those jobs pay well but they're not what I want to do with my life. I think that the primary reason why he doesn't want me doing this is because he's afraid of the psychological toll it'll take on me, which I am well aware of.
This gentle encouragement has turned to what happened yesterday, which was him coming home claiming to have "planned my life out for me." I was like, "okay," and humored him. He proceeded to propose a plan that effectively cuts out the Navy, and a good portion of other things I plan on doing to advance a career in Emergency Services, in favor of doing HVAC part time until I can start my own business and do EMS/FF part time. Also proposing I join the Air Guard and do civil engineering. I felt insulted by this, for starters since I've been spending 95% of my time on this course, and am working hard to secure a job in this field. I already have certifications in the field that I also worked hard to get.
I understand why he wants me to do trade work, like I said, they pay well but I don't have any interest in that field. I've explored Emergency Services for awhile and I genuinely love the work. So WIBTA for confronting him and saying flat out that I won't be doing HVAC, and that I'm insulted by what he said.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
VmyXiY8zsqLEVVudkcXKEyjQY2wNBPh6
|
atc7ax
|
{
"description": "wanting to propose in a spot that a close friend is claiming as \"her place\"",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to propose in a spot that a close friend is claiming as "her place"?
|
Back in high School a close friend of mine (We'll call her Julie) showed me a cool spot in our small town that is very secluded and beautiful. With her permission, I took my girlfriend to the spot and we had a beautiful night stargazing. This became an important place to me and my girlfriend.
It's now about 3 years later and I'm proposing to my girlfriend. I had made plans to propose to her at this spot. Upon hearing of my plans to propose at this spot, Julie flipped out and said I couldn't because it was "her spot". She yelled and hit me repeatedly, saying that she wanted to be proposed to there.
I should add that Julie does not have a boyfriend and hasn't since high school, so this is not a place that is significant with someone else. It's just "her place". I should add for context that me and Julie have never had feelings for each other, and have always been entirely platonic.
I had no idea this was so important to her, but this would be literally the perfect place to propose. I think Julie is being completely unfair, not to mention legitimately violent for a time (I'm a 6'3" larger man so I wasn't hurt). She says that spot is "sacred". AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
TmI2FMrGB8B1NVTQ1uTtzKcColXeKjSR
|
as85di
|
{
"description": "texting my flatmate to be quiet at 2:30 am",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for texting my flatmate to be quiet at 2:30 am?
|
We used to be good friends. Now we share an apartment with two rooms with thin walls and there is a conflict brewing.
Yesterday I had a pretty long day. Wake up at 8:00, commute to work, work, commute back, do some uni work and arrive home at midnight. At this point I would just take a shower and go to sleep because I have to do this again tomorrow.
But he's having his girlfriend over and both are making noises so I stay up and play some shooters maybe they go to sleep at 1:00 of 1:30. They dont but I attempt to sleep anyways, however I keep waking up to them talking until 2:30 at which I point i shoot a message over on WhatsApp saying: "could you guys be quiet plz".
The response I get is: "seriously " but they did stay quiet and I only saw the reply in the morning.
Now the reason I am asking this is because they were being relatively quiet already. The next stage would be straight up whispering. But when it comes to sleeping I tend to focus on these things, these tiny noises and spiral into this obsessive madness and need silence or white noise.
Another thing is that this is a university housing, might be relevant.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
dJZGZhwk8h4DDZR4sUi2vvASUOWXoYV6
|
awf6qj
|
{
"description": "not wanting my sister to be the maid of honor at my ex-boyfriend's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting my sister to be the maid of honor at my ex-boyfriend's wedding?
|
I dated a guy for \~2.5-3 years and we have been done for 4-5 years. Here is just a small bit of what went down:
He cheated on me MULTIPLE times. I forgave and tried to forget and he went and did it again. When confronting him to ask why, he said it was because I "wasn't a woman enough" for not sucking his dick every time he asked or not being in the mood when he was sometimes.
Once when he was really pissed off at me he punched the wall next to my head.
When I confronted him with SCREENSHOTS of messages he sent ex-girlfriends about how he missed fucking them and being with them, he denied it. Pure gaslighting.
Brought cocaine into my dorm in college and when I found it and confronted him claimed it was my roommates. ??? Then later I found more at his apt and when I confronted him he said it was a friend's. I went to the bathroom and when I came back he had it in lines and was snorting it. (I do not condone coke use. I was not happy with this and made it clear.)
The kicker? He told me that I shouldn't get STD testing at my annual the same year I dumped him because I "should trust him!" And then later that year, after we broke up and I started seeing somebody new, I went to get tested and had \*chlamydia.\* So I sobbed and called him to tell him he had to go to a doctor and he BLATANTLY DENIED IT.
I now see a therapist for all of the anxiety, insecurities, recurring nightmares, and absolute HATRED I have of this guy. (Yes, I probably had some form of anxiety/depression prior BUT it came to full fruition with this relationship.)
I am happily taken. But there are emotional scars. He has been dating a new person for \~1.5years and they are engaged. Good for them I guess? But I don't believe he has changed at all and feel bad for the girl.
SOMEHOW, my sister, knowing all that I listed above, still has "a blank slate" on him. She's friends with the girl (she was a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding) and my sister is now going to be the maid of honor.
I know that I can't control what she does and her relationship with the girl, but I still feel betrayed for her being in this position. I hate this person with all of my being and my TWIN sister is going to be a part of his wedding. I told her how I felt and she thinks I'm being judgemental of him. ???? AITA here? I'm not trying to get her to now be the maid of honor but she thinks I'm being ridiculous for being this angry and is mad.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
pCu97M3HbGpsYOPwirwgVPzaKUZbRegk
|
atlr6y
|
{
"description": "bringing my own food when my gf cooks for me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for bringing my own food when my gf cooks for me?
|
So this post is inspired by the current top post on this sub. I have a fairly similar situation and figured I will put mine out there.
So I have been dating this girl for a few months and for the most part things have been going really well, except for our dietary differences. I grew up hunting and fishing with a meat heavy diet and she grew up vegan and we have both carried those diets into our adulthoods.
When I cook things seem to work out fine, I cook the dish without the meat, serve it for her then add the meat in for myself. Or I just make 2 entirely different dishes.
But occasionally she will cook for me and will want me to try her vegan dishes. But goddamn is it gross. I am not sure I will ever understand how people eat tofu.
So recently she said she wanted to try and make something new. I told her that I will happily try it but that I wanted to bring over a venison steak so I would have something to make if I didn't like it. Because up to this point I haven't liked any of the dishes she has made (I didn't say that last part but she knows it already).
After typing that it sounds more dickish than I think it is so let me add that whenever I cook for her that I make sure to have an easy fall back dish that I can quickly throw together if she doesn't like what I made. Ultimately I think food is one of life's great pleasures and you should always enjoy what you eat.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
s2j4pvuFsTlfbq5VAQSHOpPVYzw27Fhh
|
a8dyth
|
{
"description": "not tipping",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For not tipping?
|
Went to this chain restaurant resto/bar last night with this girl I'm seeing and we got seated and the waitress comes over and hands her a normal menu and me a fucking kids menu with a big smile on her face, I looked at the menu and was like ahhh can I get a normal menu and she said something like hahahah hold on and my date was like kinda giggling but more in the sense of wtf why did she give you a kids menu. Now I'm a short guy about 5'5 and look pretty young but I don't look like a kid and I kind of found it insulting to be given a kids menu. She brought the normal menu and said she was just joking and she'll bring us some water. I asked for a beer and she ID'd me, perfectly fine I'm 21 so just legal to drink but look younger, she looks at my ID and was like ohhh you look so much younger like my little brother in highschool. I was just like ok and my date was just kinda laughing a bit but looked confused. As the night went on it was normal service and everything was ok, but when we got the bill I didn't tip because I felt like I was insulted and treated poorly. The girl I was with said I should of tip still because she was just joking and the service itself was fine and said it was a dick move not to tip her. I always tip above 15% usually because I used to wait tables and be a bus boy so I know it can be a tough job. But I never insulted anyone that way and if I did wouldn't accept a tip. The waitress didn't say anything to me though I just handed her the exact cash and we got up and left. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
aduuk66ZS37g9DbymJuj4DZCaDlNTK1I
|
b37avz
|
{
"description": "yelling \"f*g\" at a fictional character",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for yelling "f*g" at a fictional character.
|
a friend (gay male) and I (gay female) love Rocky Horror Picture Show, a cult classic movie musical. Every year on Halloween we go watch screenings of it. one thing to note, during screenings, the audience are allowed to scream and make loud vulgar jokes.
We are having a good old time calling the characters sluts and assholes, until we get to a song called "I Can Make You a Man", where the mad scientist is singing about training his newly born muscle man to be his sex slave. As the character sing the phrase "I can make you a man" the audience may shout "a f\*g, just like your dad", so i did.
friend didn't say anything at the moment but after we left he told me he was uncomfortable about me using the word out loud. I said "why, for whole hour we were slut shaming characters and said other derogatory remarks. we were in a space where we allowed to say it out loud."
we keep fighting about it , at the end we agreed to disagree.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
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|
RIGHT
|
d8bj3ep4WYpPNlNTjloruybTrH49148I
|
asozf6
|
{
"description": "claiming a package that was accidentally delivered to a house shared with roommates that had my name on it",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 39
}
|
AITA for claiming a package that was accidentally delivered to a house shared with roommates that had my name on it?
|
Some context, late last year I moved into a house with 2 other roommates and we decided to purchase a TV for the living room and we split the cost 3 ways. We found a model we liked and I ordered it under my Amazon Prime because it was discounted. We agreed whenever we move out or whatever we would sell the TV and split the profits 3 ways or sell it to the roommate that wanted it for whatever amount is decided on. Okay cool.
Fast forward to delivery day and Amazon dropped off **2 TVs**. The second TV is a different brand but identical the first one in features, a 55" 4K smart TV so it cost us a pretty penny. With a free $600 TV we try think about what to do with it but not needing another I was quick to propose selling it, believing it was mine. For the next couple of months my one roommate was insistent on buying it from me, making multiple offers but I turned them down.
Eventually I did give away the TV to a third party and when my roommate who kept trying to buy the TV from me found out, she blew a gasket. Before getting any context but knowing the TV was gone she started furiously texting me demanding her cut of the money, that I was ethically and morally *obligated* to give her a portion of the money and quickly turned to calling me a selfish prick because she felt entitled to her cut. My other roommate had no issues.
The original TV was bought under my name, my roommate exclusively approached me in an attempt to purchase the TV indicating to me that she thought it was mine. AITA for claiming the bonus TV as mine and not considering my other roommates? I thought it would be a nice thing to do, but at no point in time did I think they were entitled to the TV or money I'd receive from selling it in any way.
**Tl;dr** Bought a TV and split the cost between roommates, second TV showed up so I claimed it and sold it because the original purchase was under my name.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 39
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|
WRONG
|
hd0Gw1888fiWGMg2wbP7iiizSI7cSIVr
|
avilmo
|
{
"description": "telling my close friend that I'm getting an abortion",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I tell my close friend that I'm getting an abortion?
|
The title is pretty self-explanatory. I'm currently pregnant at a really bad point in my life. Adoption isn't an option for a number of reasons. While my husband has been 100% supportive, I'm definitely seeking out a female perspective. Husband is fine with whatever I decide (in terms of telling friends/family for support reasons), but I'm reluctant because friend has a newly-acquired stepdaughter who she cares very deeply for. On top of that, friend probably can't have kids of her own due to medical stuff. I want support, but I don't want to overstep the need for support that my friend has... Would I be the asshole if I told my friend about my situation? Or should I just keep to myself and seek alternative outlets?
I really don't want this to turn into a pro-life/pro-choice argument, so please stay away from those points. I've already made the decision, I just want to know if it would be selfish to tell somebody I'm close to (who probably can't have little ones).
All judgements welcome!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
oA2VCi7Bkkn2s4FD8Ou4pwH3VYPQ6hmo
|
axbomb
|
{
"description": "taking someone's \"reserved\" parking space",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA if I took someone’s “reserved” parking space?
|
Hi there- first time posting on this sub, on mobile so excuse whatever formatting errors pop up.
Okay so first off- I live in Boston, I have a car, it is currently winter, last night it snowed about a foot. I parked my car in a garage overnight so I thought there would be a parking ban and my neighborhood is all street parking. Well today when I got back from work there were several empty spaces between the snow banks, but people had “reserved” them by putting their trashcans, deck chairs, or even traffic cones out in the middle of them.
Let me say this: I understand, it’s a lot of effort to dig out your car and I’m sure it would suck to spend that time and then come back and not be able to get a good spot, but the parking in this neighborhood has always been a free-for-all, and because of the snow banks people are reserving about 1.5 spaces to get in/out of the spot as well as the space they need for the car, so there would be less spots available even without people holding them.
In the end I had to park about 3 streets over from my apartment, which wouldn’t be too bad if the sidewalks were paved well but they’re not and I already have a sprained ankle. I was so tempted to just move some of the stuff and take a spot but it felt bad.
So my question is: would I be the asshole if I did this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
5P4RiOT5bLqx79J7mvqvnHuxHT7YTxKp
|
9ug4gj
|
{
"description": "accusing my parents of not parenting correctly",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for accusing my parents of not parenting correctly?
|
I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.
Bit of background: I have a sister with a mental illness called misophonia. Basically, you know when someone chews really loud and you get annoyed by it? Imagine that on a much larger scale. It’s like Tourette’s from what I understand, when she hears one of her trigger sounds she can’t control herself and has a huge tantrum if the sound doesn’t stop. Unfortunately, I am her primary trigger. Things like tapping my fingers or shaking my leg or having my bare feet out (from what I understand it’s not just audible triggers) will cause her to explode. Because of this I basically live in a very restricted way, for the past ~5-6 years as well. I can barely do anything without triggering her. And as you might guess that can take a toll on a person. And on top of this illness, she’s also not very mature. She gets extremely (*extremely*) mad and defensive over things like doing her homework or taking her medication in the morning, or basically being called out on anything. It usually results in a screaming match, with her occasionally resulting to throwing things. After living like this for years, me and my parents are exhausted from it. And also, as a result of her low maturity, she also isn’t mature enough to find coping mechanisms for her illness outside of either going to a separate room or screaming at me to stop. My parents most of the time don’t discipline this behavior and let it happen, probably because they don’t want a screaming match with my sister. And recently I’ve been calling them out on this a lot. I’ve never said they’re bad parents or anything toxic or anything with the intention of insulting them, but sometimes we’ll get in a fight with me telling them stuff like “she’s never going to get better if you just let her run the house” (which comes with all this, most of what she says goes, or an intense fight follows). They, like me, are tired of all this too but they don’t want to fight. AITA for getting on their case for, in my opinion, not disciplining my sister?
If you feel like there’s anything I left out (I might’ve missed something but nothing comes to mind) ask me and I’ll let you know
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
4mRLYPjMcZVueskKUwgVrS3e9d5phPiD
|
b4aqk4
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my mom",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
aita for getting mad at my mom?
|
this one is kinda tmi. you’ve been warned.
so, i have two dogs. i love them both but recently they’ve developed a habit of getting into trash cans in bathrooms.
mostly they get into mine, and there’s nothing much there for them anyway. but today, they didn’t only get into mine, but my parents’ as well (we have separate bathrooms).
normally i’d just clean it up. my parents can’t, because they’re both at work when this normally happens.
let me explain something: my parents leave for work at six, and let the dogs out in the house. i wake up between seven and nine most of the time. they work at the same place and normally don’t get home until about five. it’s quite a drive.
here’s my issue: the dogs are free to roam around the house between the time where my parents leave and i wake up. this is when they normally get into the trash.
and today it was especially pleasing.
i go to clean it up, like i normally do, and see some... feminine hygiene items used by my mother.
i tell her about the situation, and this is pretty much her reaction: “clean it up anyway”.
i’m disgusted by this. i don’t want to have to clean up/touch another woman’s used pads, let alone my own.
i expected her to say something like “i’ll clean it up when i get home” because they’re hers.
i haven’t said anything to her about this yet. aita for getting mad at this, and aita for expecting her to clean up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
0Puxf2uFNRVHq5teVGvG2EEWNERyRfsi
|
azbyaz
|
{
"description": "insisting that he showed after work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for insisting that he showed after work?
|
Bf and I live together. He works a lot and when he comes home he’s so smelly. I don’t know why, but his sweat smells like cat pee.
I told him to shower when he gets home from work and he usually does. Tonight though he gave me attitude about it. He said he was tired. Then told me I don’t smell so great myself sometimes. He also out of nowhere brought up that I’m not working right now. Like that has anything to do with anything. Just lashing out. I don’t get what the big deal is. It’s 20 minutes and he’d be smelling fine the rest of the night.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
H8PT59QskqOvM3OkiR4SSSLEHVFaXi2K
|
b7w01p
|
{
"description": "telling my father to shut up about my education",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my father to shut up about my education?
|
This happened almost 1 1/2 years back.
It was the last time i had free willed contact with my dad.
After my mum and dad broke up, me and mum had to move out the house and into a flat.
No problem.
But what is a problem is the fact that my dad never paid full child support, send me to Grandma and Pa every time i was supposed to be at his place.
Don't get me wrong, i love my grandparents, especially my Pa who always made me smile and made me feel welcomed. I have so many fond memories of him and i am sad that i probably won't see him again... Actually... I don't even know if he is alive... Or if he still likes me...
Anyway!
So my dad was basically never there for me and every time i tried to make contact with him or spend time with him he just brushed me off to his parents.
My breaking point was one day when he asked me what i wanted for my Birthday.
I only had one wish, a picture of the whole family of his, but more importantly, a picture of my sister.
What did i got?
A letter telling me that i wouldn't be possible atm... He even signed it.
That wad it for me. That he couldn't get everyone together in time for a group photo i could have understood... But not being able to take a simple picture of my sister?!
Days before i finished 10th grade as the best from my class (not impressive my class was the "lazy class" of our school) and i heard from my mother that my dad told everyone how proud he is of me.
I didn't like it... He never was there for me in all this time... So why should he get to brag about something I don't even brag about myself?!
And so i told him to shut up about it.
I told him that he did nothing to be proud of and that he took no part in my "success".
I told him that he couldn't do one simple thing right and that i was done with him.
I do have a picture of my sister now.
And i told him that i go to University now.
But i don't want him in my life any more than he is now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
HRzYXkLwJ5HoerkNG1TJyzQVyQPdCuc0
|
b2nzov
|
{
"description": "not letting someone back into our group of friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting someone back into our group of friends?
|
So I (22F) have a group of friends, we all share a group chat and hang out together. One of the guys, we'll call him Jack (26M) used to hang out with us a lot. Him and I got close and would text a lot about different things, a lot of which was gossip about the group. A few months ago, he asked me if I wanted to hang out. I said I was busy with my family that day (it was about a week before Christmas). He told me he just wanted the honest answer about if I wanted to hang out with him or not. I really didn't know what he was talking about and he was like OMG you just won't be honest with me! I just stopped answering his texts. A few days later he texted me and asked if it'd be better to leave the group. I said I didn't want any drama, so yes, he should leave.
&#x200B;
Fast forward to now. I get a text saying he needs more socialization and wants to be in the group again. I didn't really tell anyone what had happened; people leave and join the group frequently. I said I would have to think about it and he said "Don't worry, I'm really okay with not being let in." I want to just leave it like that and be done with it. Less drama now and more enjoyable. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
OiEfsCYxttaFTJtldQwQht7wKm3unrw9
|
9v2p5d
|
{
"description": "just wanting to write for fun and avoid anonymous criticism",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for just wanting to write for fun and avoid anonymous criticism?
|
For context: I have been writing a (fantasy) story for some years just for fun. Some months ago, an anonymous user told me that they had read the prologue and listed some things that were, in their opinion, "objectively" wrong with the story, although there was no possible way that the list was accurate, since it portrayed things that either made sense in the story's world and I explained later on, that I simply hadn't written nor did I have the intention to write or that I thought were unaccurate.
I then told the user that the list was not accurate for the reasons stated above, then they got mad at me for "making excuses" and said that I should learn how to write before doing anything else.
I tried to explain my point of view, but the discussion got nowhere. Am I the asshole?
(If I wasn't clear in any point, please tell me so I can clarify).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7jfF9602vFKtUR2TBUnMsqKBdy7kdW9j
|
b7xazm
|
{
"description": "not bailing my friend out of jail",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not bailing my friend out of jail?
|
I've had this friend since I was in second grade. We always had things in common and played with Transformers and Legos together, etc. I'm in my early 20s now and so is he and we managed to stay in contact and hang out occasionally in these recent years. He has a wife and a young daughter that I'm sure he loves dearly.
A little background on myself, I'm currently on probation since last year for selling drugs. I know, not the best decision in the world but I'm trying to stick to the terms and make the best of it. My bail amount was high but my parents bailed me out the next day (I was lucky). Some people around me were supportive even though I put myself in that situation. However when I told him, he gave me a super sarcastic "way to go" along with a "you're #1" Bitmoji (this was Snapchat obviously). We didn't talk much after that but I still kept up with him on Facebook.
Fast forward March 27th, 2019. I work for a local news station and it was a total shock to me when his mugshot made it on the news. The worst part? He was charged with distribution of child p**n and s*****l abuse of a child under 14. I have no idea where this came from and want to tell myself it's some sort of mistake (I know it’s not his daughter because it would be a different charge). I don't know full details so maybe it isn't as bad as it seems. But deep down I know I'm lying to myself and that he was probably into some messed up stuff. I consulted with another friend that knew him and he already deleted/blocked him on everything and expressed he has no respect for him anymore. I can't say I feel the same way and I honestly feel a little guilty that I'm not pulling all my resources together to bail him out. I guess I feel conflicted because I was in jail for one night but wouldn't want to stay there any longer than I had to. But if he truly did these things then I do believe that messing with children is a line you never cross and there should be some sort of punishment.
So AITA for not bailing my friend out of jail? Because I’m kinda feeling like one.
TL;DR My friend got charged with child s** crimes and I know it's wrong but feel guilty for not bailing him out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
aRFU4hDVdOq0jH71NJukachGMGIa2MbW
|
b1ogs8
| null |
AITA for not wearng a bra?
|
This is a pretty weird topic, hear me out! Love to get some fellow ladies input on this! I'm 17, for reference. Barely A-cup. I'm plain-looking and quite tomboyish - very studious and not interested in fashion or dating at all.
&#x200B;
Here's the argument:
My parents believe bras are a form of underwear and that it's gross not to wear one. They often ask me if I'm wearing one (which in my mind proves it makes no difference if people can't even tell whether or not I have one), and if I say no, they won't let me leave the house. Mum often comments things like 'don't you want boys to like you?' or 'you like like a boy, you should be more feminine'. My mum feels that I do not care about my body and I'm being lazy by not wearing one. I went out without a bra once accidently (in winter, wearing 3 layers of clothing) and was yelled at and told I was ungrateful.
I find bras very unnecessary and uncomfortable. A-cups are too big for me, they're awkward and bulky most of the time and I think mum's comments are really inappropriate. Nobody but her cares about my boobs. I understand that for most people it would be highly inappropriate to not wear a bra but I just don't have boobs. Bras are about support and modesty. I have nothing to support. She's right, I might as well be a boy, why is that a bad thing?
I lost my temper in our most recent disagreement over it. Mum sent me a video about execerises that make your boobs look bigger. I didn't ask, I don't care, and I feel like deep down she's disappointed she gave birth to a flat-chested, tomboyish daughter rather than a gorgeous popular one. I told my mum to stop projecting her own body image insecurities onto me because I'm perfectly okay with my small bust and that it's my own damn decision what to think about my body. I feel bad for saying that because she started crying but it was in the heat of the moment and she was waaaay out of line imo.
I acknowledge this who thing is quite biased but I just can't see the logic in trying to make your mosquito-bite-titted daughter feel bad and want to change the way she is.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
TLDR: Basically, I have no boobs and don't want to wear a bra. My parents say it's gross and unladylike and get very upset at me over it, my mum in particular won't let me leave the house without one. I think it's highly inappropriate and a really silly thing to punish me over.
AITA for choosing not to wear a bra at home or when I go out casually with friends?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 194,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 196,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ScXkOqv3iTgpx3umaE6iJRCURQ7hbzUM
|
add2ll
|
{
"description": "leaving my girlfriend for the sake of my own mental health even though hers was worse",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my girlfriend for the sake of my own mental health even though hers was worse?
|
Okay, so me and my ex were dating for 6 months before things got shaky. She was prone to self harming and had done it many times in the past,and everytime that hurt me because I couldn't bear losing her. I was very stressed out by all her mixed emotions and possible bipolar, and I really couldn't cope with it. I tried everything to help her but nothing seemed to work. I asked her if a break would be good for us but then she said that if I ever left her, she would kill herself and succeed. This kept me in the relationship for a while.
It's clear her mental health was awful, and I love her so I should have helped her more. Instead of helping her, I broke up with her so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore thinking it would benefit my mental health. I didn't think about hers in this descicion. AITA?
TLDR: Split with girlfriend because I didn't know how to/couldn't handle her emotions and awful mental health. Only thought about my own mental health in the process. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nh1QLzNrFsu4yDzyfbhLx9rBuetAZPSp
|
b33wgt
|
{
"description": "singing while I walk in public",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for singing while I walk in public?
|
I enjoy singing while I walk. Unfortunately, I'm nowhere near the level of wealthy that would allow me to walk in a private area and sing without anyone else present. I don't own my own home, and am currently living with roommates to cut costs for a planned future move. I am self-conscious enough that I won't do it at busy times, but early in the morning when the other people busy trying to lose weight are walking around my local park, I sometimes walk and sing. I try to be considerate of other / am self-conscious enough that I generally quiet a bit when I'm passing someone, but I have a loud voice and am likely heard by multiple people while they're walking in the park. Is singing like I am, even though I am being somewhat considerate or self-conscious and reducing my volume when people are in the immediate area, an a\*\*hole move? I've gotten a few weird looks once in a while, and after stumbling onto this subreddit not too long ago and receiving one of the weird looks this morning, I figured this would be a reasonable place to ask this question.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
U7LBt1JAQ6Pr8v4lVyR0ZPWtfVv8Clxd
|
b4oqax
|
{
"description": "deleting mine and my former friend's shared Instagram account",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for deleting mine and my former friend's shared Instagram account?
|
So for some backstory, my friend got mad at me calling him out for lying about someone in which he lied and said the other person talked bad about him behind his back. The other person of coure did not and we had proof but he targeted me. I recently found out he changed the password on our shared Instagram account in which he used my email and phone number and was not aware he did so. I could not get into it so i used my email to get back into it and then deleted it as he had already made posts about me that were not true.
AITA for deleting the account?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
sHu6worXZZiMNb9HyDucaM6aRtjwPaQW
|
b7ww2g
|
{
"description": "being driven insane by my partners eating noises",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being driven insane by my partners eating noises?
|
I've been with my partner for 5 year-ish off and on and care for him an incredible amount. We love to adventure and go to new restaurants and cook together as much as we can! When it gets to eating time though, I sometime have to stop and take a breath so that I wont walk away. He doesn't chew with his mouth closed, constantly smacks his lips, and licks his fingers very loudly when eating finger foods. I have no idea how to talk to him about this without making it seems as though I think hes gross (which in this case I do just a tiny bit). It seriously makes me feel a deep annoyance everytime I hear these noises, regardless of the person. Being around the situation so frequently and trying to move past the gut feeling has caused me to develop an almost aggressive reaction when I hear it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
1ERzIPL4Bhvil2IkJYuFMSsPUEaGRKJ6
|
aes3ew
|
{
"description": "refusing to apologize to my sister after saying hurtful things to her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for refusing to apologize to my sister after saying hurtful things to her?
|
Me and my sister have had a rocky relationship for a while. She suffers from BPD, a mental illness that can make healthy relationships tough. In the past I tried to sympathize with her in any way that I could, although recently it’s gotten much worse.
I recently graduated and moved back in with our parents (temporarily), which always puts my sister in a bad mood. She doesn’t like it when she thinks I’m receiving more love and attention from my parents than she is, as she has this delusion that I’m the favourite child of the family.
Recently it’s gotten to the point where she harnesses me constantly, calls me names and insults my character. She says I’m selfish, greedy, lazy, arrogant, the list goes on and on.
Recently I had some friends over, and we were talking about how I was going to be moving to Europe in a couple of months, a big life change that I’m super excited for. She chimes in by saying how stupid the decision is, and how I’ll have a huge gap in my resume, yada yada.
Now, I usually take these sorts of comments no problem, but I really didn’t appreciate them this time, especially in front of my friends and especially about something I was so excited for.
I exploded on her. I said some mean spirited things I know I shouldn’t have. I told her that she was a rude and jealous person, that she will die alone because she ruins all relationships she has, etc.
Now, I admit what I said was wrong, and I do want to apologize. The only issue is, I know she will never apologize for the verbal abuse she puts me through on a regular basis, as she historically has never taken responsibility for her actions at all. This puts me at a bit of a crossroads. Do I apologize and absolve her off all blame? There is no way she will accept any fault. Should I swallow my pride and just apologize?
TL;DR: Am I the asshole for saying hurtful things to my sister in a moment of weakness, after suffering from verbal abuse on her part for an extended period of time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
p0zhThvhwTbDthDsnE6ywdUyWTJ4HOJt
|
avjd0t
|
{
"description": "making a kid who cut me off pay for my coffees",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for making a kid who cut me off pay for my coffees?
|
I'm comfortable with my actions in this situation just curious what others think.
I was driving down a road going about 40kph, I had two full ice coffees in my passenger seat sitting in a tray (my cup holders are broken). I even remember thinking to myself what a disaster it would be if they spilt.
As im driving down this road the car infront of me pulls completely out of the lane into a parking space. As you should always be weary on the roads I slow down anyway but still continue travelling down the road.
Just when I'm almost parellel with the back end of this car they pull directly back onto the road as to do a U-turn to start travelling the opposite direction. I immediately slam on my breaks and the coffees rocket into the footbed of my passenger side. I managed to avoid making any contact with their car but just barely. They wave sorry and continue the U-turn and travel the other way and park at a restaurant just there.
I park close and walk towards them visibly upset but not aggressive or anything. It's a family going for dinner and the driver was a young kid maybe 16-18 learning to drive. I tell them they seriously need to be more careful and that my coffees are now covering the floor of my car. I tell them they gotta buy me new coffees and the kid and I walk into a coffee shop and I order and he pays.
The kid is visibly shaken and actually helps me clean my car awkwardly. I tell him accidents happen and to be more careful in the future. For context i live in western Australia and two ice coffees are like 11 dollars. I am 21 living out of home and thats not a negligible amount of money for me. Especially to buy two more.
AITA for making this kid pay for my spilt coffees?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
iU66DCSX66pinVn6Om74rkvgp6EsggF9
|
awvml7
|
{
"description": "lying to my wife",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 58
}
|
AITA for lying to my wife?
|
Hopefully this is not as cut and dry as it may seem. A couple years ago a female coworker (we’ll call her Liz) started dating another girl. Up until this point, Liz was straight. Apparently Liz eventually found out that her girlfriend had been lying to her and had been doing some pretty shady (and illegal) stuff. Liz was obviously upset by this and was confiding in me via text. I was reading the text to my wife to fill her in on the situation and in a long stream of texts, Liz said something like “I haven’t had sex with a guy in two years. I don’t know if I want to continue in this relationship.” I responded with “I know I vent to you about my wife a lot, but I love her more than anything and can’t imagine my life without her. If you don’t feel like you can’t live without her, then you need to end it.” My wife took that as “she wants to have sex with you and all you do is talk shit about me to her.” As much as I tried to convince her otherwise, she wasn’t having it. She basically told me she didn’t want me to be friends with Liz anymore. To appease her, I told her I wouldn’t. However, Liz and I stayed friends at work. Fast forward to this week, and my wife has been acting unreasonably angry towards me. (Not to be a dick, but it is that time of the month, and she does get very moody). So I just gave her some space. Today, she confronts me that she went through my phone and saw that I had been texting with Liz and that I lied to her about not being friends with her anymore. AITA for not telling her I’m still friends with Liz, or is my wife that asshole for telling me I can’t be and then going through my phone?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b2hjfi
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{
"description": "not throwing everyone at work a birthday at work and possibly stopping the party's all together",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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|
AITA for not throwing everyone at work a birthday at work and possibly stopping the party’s all together?
|
I inherited a new role at work. The last person in the role used to buy cake for the folks who had birthday’s during the month and also have a birthday card signed. The exception was when the birthday person decided to leave for a birthday vacation or simply take the day off.
No one at work wants to tell me their birthday, making me have to struggle to figure it out. Also, many folks are older and specifically don’t want a party.
The last month we had two birthdays. One who left town and didn’t say a word about it being their birthday. The other left town and is not a fan of sharing their birthday too.
Then follows the reimbursement request for someone who doesn’t even want a party. Awkward.
If I knew everyone’s birthday and they weren’t so strange about having a small gathering it would be easy. Now, it just feels forced. AITA for not really wanting to keep this birthday struggle going? Should I simply reassign the party planning to someone else?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aypgzj
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"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend only for the summer",
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WIBTA If I break up with my girlfriend only for the summer?
|
I live in a boarding school with her but over the summer, each one of the kids go back to their homeland. I want to go to partys and have fun and don't feel guilty about it and the same for her...
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HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
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amb47q
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"description": "freaking out because I didn't have a seatbelt on in a cab",
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AITA For freaking out because I didn't have a seatbelt on in a cab
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I have always wondered about this, and admittedly I already do feel like the asshole, so I'll spare you no detail and I want a good honest read (sorry it's a bit lengthy)
My boyfriend's friends had a get together at one of their places for his birthday and I met a lot of his friends and their girlfriends. After the night of drinking and merriment we shared a cab home. I was pretty drunk, but not blackout drunk by any means. Less of a filter but still able to remember the next day. We all stuffed into the cab and I got into the back right seat, with someone in the middle, and my boyfriend on the left.
I couldn't find my seatbelt and I was scrambling for it. I pleaded with the driver to wait, but I quickly realized I didn't actually have a seatbelt (the seat folds and the belt was in behind it, I know because my car does that). I remember calling attention to my situation and I was like "HEY I NEED A SEATBELT DONT DRIVE" and the other couple and my boyfriend were telling me to chill because it was only a few blocks. I asked my boyfriend to switch me seats but he stayed silent - just didn't say anything. Then the cabbie, who wasnt listening anyway, backed into a busy road and tore off like a bat out of hell.
A couple of facts before I continue - one is I have some pretty bad anxiety that I see a therapist and am medicated for. So I'm already a nervous person. Plus, I am not laxidazy about seatbelts. I am terrified of being projected in an accident or even just getting knocked around like a ragdoll in a veichle. Also, this wasnt just a few blocks, we were literally driving across town, through major intersections, over the water etc. ALSO, this cab was literally barreling down the road, stepping on the gas to get through yellow lights (not making this up) and he had his headphones on and he was talking to someone on the phone while he drove (actually an offense here). To me this was a terrifying experience.
So here I was, drunk so with less of a filter, admittedly a whole different person because I was hyped up on fear, and feeling completely let down by my boyfriend who didn't say a word to help me and instead suggested that I should "not worry", I experienced a bout of anger. Rage even. I spewed out some "what the fuck"s and "this guy is driving like a maniac SLOoOW DOoOWN AsShOle"" and even "let me out in walking home!!!" but he didn't stop, all I got were these "friends" who I barely know and was chumming with all night telling me that I should calm down and I'm overreacting, acting like I'm a monster. They even ignored me and started a conversation with my boyfriend. And my boyfriend ignores me too.
Of course I was overreacting, but honestly guys I can't emphasize my specific fear of driving without a seatbelt enough. I haven't had any traumatizing experiences, it's just something I've fixated on and am scared of. Although it is an entirely rational fear, the way I acted was totally irrational and not exactly solution focused. Like if I was really that scared I would open the door and jump out. But I got angry because I felt backed into a corner. I felt like I had to choose between my safety (or at least piece of mind) and causing more of a scene by dramatically opening the door and stepping out of a cab (which did not come to a complete stop once). Anyway it does not give me an excuse to be an asshole but what I felt at the time was pure fear induced adrenaline.
I was so mad (and truly relieved) when we pulled into the driveway, that I stormed out and slammed the door and went into the house without saying goodbye or anything. I then gave my boyfriend the silent treatment and he apologized the next day. Bit of a night ruiner for sure.
**TL;DR** Shared a cab with my bf and another couple. Didn't have a seatbelt, and panicked because I'm a nervous person especially with seatbelts. I was a little drunk and made my discomfort known, loudly cursing and such. Boyfriend didn't switch seats with me and ignored me while I freaked out and embarrassed myself. Cabbie drove like an asshole the whole way.
AITA? Thanks kindly in advance for your honesty.
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HISTORICAL
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auai1r
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{
"description": "judging people I don't know",
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AITA for judging people I don't know?
|
When I see relationship posts, one of my go-to responses (if it fits) is your SO is controlling/manipulative/emotionally abusive and you need to pack your bags and go.
This past week, I found myself in one of these situations with my SO. The argument went three rounds over the span of about a week. If I saw the first two rounds written out on this site, I would have given my usual advice. However, I am looking at this fight in the context of ten years of marriage, so I went in for round three and we resolved the disagreement. All is well now.
But then I stop to think that I may have jumped the gun with my 'throw a d-bomb over your shoulder on the way out' advice because I might be taking one incident out of context.
So I turn to the community that I so easily judged and ask, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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b165b9
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{
"description": "cutting off an autistic guy for being too clingy",
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"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for cutting off an autistic guy for being too clingy
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We’ll call him Max for the sake of anonymity. I am in IGCSE 2 (equivalent of grade 11) and I’m 15. He is in A1 (grade 12) and is 19. When I first started speaking to him, it was because he would kind of just awkwardly hang around our friend group/sit next to me in math(he’s in my class)
When we invited him to hang out with us, he told us that all the other people in his grade were making fun of him. I felt for him, and he seemed like an ok dude. After a few *days* he started telling me he “had a friend” who had a crush on me. Now, I knew this wasn’t true, as I knew who he hung out with, and none of those guys would even look at me. He made it preeetty clear he was talking about himself. Even my friends saw it.
At some point our birthdays came up in conversation. Now, keep in mind, the age of consent in my country is 16. I asked him how old he was, and he told me he was 19. When I told him I was 15, he looked visibly disappointed, and informed me that if I had been 16, his “friend” would have made a move. I kind of laughed it off.
He would go on to tell me that he had been watching me for a year and thinking how pretty I was. His words. Fine, w/e. But now he’s started being very sexually suggestive with my friend and I (we’re still both underage) e.g asking if we’re into choking, putting his hand on my thigh. He’ll run up behind me and grab me in a hug, which is fine except that I have anxiety and don’t like people coming up behind me.
He had started, in class, while I was doing work, whining about how I wasn’t paying enough attention to him and I probably hate him. He would bombard my phone, get jealous if I him out with guys, essentially act like a possessive boyfriend. He would also use sensitive topics to guilt trip me into talking to him. He’s stopped showing up to class, and only talks to us occasionally.
I feel guilty sometimes, as he doesn’t really understand social cues and I was a bit of a bitch when he last blew up my phone.
So, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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asxqzn
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{
"description": "not going to my friend's birthday dinner/party because I had to go see my boyfriend 4 hours away last minute",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for not going to my friend's birthday dinner/party because I had to go see my boyfriend 4 hours away last minute?
|
So this happened a few years back, but I'm curious.
It was my close friend's 22 bday and she was planning to go to a dinner and a club. I didn't know anyone else she invited because they're all a group and I'm just her friend and I couldn't go to the club because I was under 21.
The morning of I got a text from my boyfriend who lives four hours away asking me to drive to him because of a situation that came up. Now my boyfriend is very independent and I knew he wouldn't ask so last minute unless it was something important so I texted my friend explaining the situation and apologizing like hell and promising to take her on a full day out next week. I thought she would understand because she had done the same thing to me in the past and it wasn't a big issue.
She got really pissed off because I wasn't going to be there the day of, her birthday and that meant I didn't care to her. I had already given her the present and we had talked previously about the possibility that I won't come considering I don't know anyone and can't be there with them the whole night. I had a full day plan that I had sent to her before the day and she seemed down, but she was very adamant that I had to be there the actual day.
She stopped talking to me because of this and we no longer talk period. I've tried to extend olive branches, but I don't think what I did is that horrible.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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az2h4x
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{
"description": "not stopping my game so our family could eat dinner outside",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
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|
AITA for not stopping my game so our family could eat dinner outside?
|
This just happened so everything is crystal clear. I'm 14, I just finished swimming and decided to play some video games. It's about dinner time here in my country and so my parents decided to eat outside. I told my Mother this is my last round, then we will go. Like 5 mins later, my dad comes down and starts grumbling at me and he said," Why are we waiting for him, we shouldn't be waiting for him because of a video game. Back in my day, when my father told me we had to go, I would stop immediately." He was super mad at THAT moment. At that point I just turned off my pc and decided to go change, then my father decides to leave by himself and it's my obviously my fault. My mother then just talked to me saying u could have just leave the game and that I'm selfish, I don't think about others . I think I kind of agree with her because I could have just left even though it was multiplayer, I feel pretty stupid that I didn't want to leave.
But, here's the thing, when my brother says this is his last round, they would just wait for him. Why the fuck are u so mad at me when u aren't mad at my little bro when he does that? And it's like only 5-10 more mins...
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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alr0ej
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{
"description": "getting kicked out over a parking brake",
"pronormative_score": 22,
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|
AITA...Getting kicked out over a parking brake
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AITA for putting the parking brake up on my roommates car? After driving her around so she could pass out her business card and hopefully drum up more business we go home, I park in the drive way and w/o putting a second thought into it, I pull up her parking brake. The driveway is on a slight hill, i didn't know if she usually does this, it was only my second time driving her car. Fast forward to a couple hours later, she's mad at life in general for shit I have nothing to do with and decides to storm out and drive up to the corner store, doesn't realize I put her parking brake up, storms back inside screaming at me, thinking she messed her car up. Why would do that blah blah blah? I refuse to apologize and now I have 30 days to move out. Thoughts?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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ai6wr0
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{
"description": "lending my sister our car",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
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|
AITA for lending my sister our car?
|
Wife is out of town for the week. I get a call from my sister (while I was at work) who is 8 months pregnant (and trying to save as much money as possible as they've had major house repairs recently and won't be working for a while). She is close by and as she dropped her car off for repairs. The repair centre normally gives out free rental cars but they noticed her licence has expired so they couldn't give her one. She called me and asked for a lift home. I said better yet, I'll come get you and you can borrow the car for the day as we have two (an old manual one I paid for prior to meeting my wife and a newer one we paid for out of our joint account). I offered the newer one as it has more safety features.
My sister said suggested I check with my wife to make sure it's OK for her to borrow the car but assumed my wife would be ok with my sister taking the car to the licencing centre to renew her licence and do whatever else she needs since my wife is out of town anyway and we have an extra car.
Sister is not a good driver (about a major accident per year and a bump/scrape or two per year) but said she will cover any damages on the off chance she gets into an accident. I'm cool with that, plus I grew up in the type of family where you just help each other out. They ask for a hand and you give them an arm type deal.
Wife later tells me I'm an asshole for offering the car. Am I though? Thought I was just a good brother and if anything goes wrong, my sister will take car of it. Plus our third car comes tomorrow so we will have three cars until I can sell my old one. I don't see how this affects us negatively.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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BTVChGGCzQOTYSWLhoTOSSsr3RXkUxLF
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ad3dw4
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{
"description": "not inviting my friends immature fiancé to events I host",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
WIBTA if I didn't invite my friends immature fiancé to events I host?
|
So my friends fiancé is a lot to handle, even on good days. To sum it up, he smokes and drinks like there's no tomorrow (and sometimes drives after). He's preachy about Catholicism (in irrelevant moments), dominates conversations, one ups, is veeeryy competitive, and isn't great on social queues. He's kind of like a child, sees things in black and white, and has hinted at being homophobic. This is all relevant because of my diverse friend group (I am not Christian). He also has some self control problems.
I was fine with fiancé coming to events at my house until my last birthday, where he made people uncomfortable. He wouldn't stop lecturing about why German cars are better, went on several one up sessions, and preached about religion to a bunch of Jews. Most of my friends and I are too tired of that sort of bullshit to be patient when he goes on some preach. I and others also have allergies or are sensitive to cig smoke, you can smell it on him all the time. He also whined about the lack of alcohol and insulted some people over not wanting hard liquor. He has these seemingly random or over the top outbursts, and often insults people in them. He often makes scenes over losing games. My friends outside the tiny group that have learned to put up with him, for now, are obviously on edge around him. A while ago, I stopped trusting her fiancé to not act like a 12 yr old if he loses a game, be preaching, one upping/dominate conversations, or make things awkward. My friend doesn't have the best control of him, and they sometimes causes scenes by arguing (on somewhat rare occasions they hit each other on the arm or shoulder).
I was thinking of being nice and saying "only close friends, no SO's", but I'm not sure how long it would hold up. I'm generally open to SO's coming, since I trust my other friends judgement, and don't want to punish others over her fiance. I'm considering fading this friendship just because they'll likely get married and he'll be everywhere. I want to be honest and say, in a nice way, that he's just too much and kills it for everyone. It's not just about me, I don't want to subject my other friends to him. I'm pretty sure it would hurt her, I'm also scared of him ever finding out I said this.
So WIBTA if I straight up told her that, for events I control, I don't want her fiancé there at all? Not exactly sure how to be NTA in this situation, unless it means not inviting her.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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atapr3
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{
"description": "getting angry at my partner for play wrestling with her ex in front of me",
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|
AITA for getting angry at my partner for play wrestling with her ex in front of me?
|
I’ll keep this short and sweet. My girlfriend and I (both mid twenties) have been dating for around a year. She’s still good friends with her ex as they have a lot of mutual friends and honestly it hasn’t been an issue at all until the other night.
We were all hanging out after a mutual friends birthday and he happened to be here. It was a work night so none of us had been smoking or drinking. The night was winding down and I was about to say I was heading home to the group when she started joking around with her ex. Before I know it they’re full on play fighting a metre in front of me. I mean, actual wrestling. Initially he wasn’t joining in but after a few minutes it was like he didn’t have a choice. It went on for about five minutes and to be honest it was the most awkward five minutes of my life.
She’s crossed the line with him before but *never* like this. We left shortly after and I told her I thought it was a complete dick move and disrespectful. She doesn’t agree. AITA here?
UPDATE: I broke up with her, she reacted in a way that is pretty sickening to me. It’s clear that she’s been hiding a lot of her personality and really let rip when she realised I was serious about leaving her. Lots of accusations and selfish thinking throughout the brief conversation, after about fifteen minutes I decided I’d heard enough and left. I didn’t raise my voice or respond with nasty shit like she was flinging at me.
She’s been blowing up my phone since but I haven’t responded to anything. Our friends are on my side, a lot of them saw the ‘wrestling’ and thought the same as you guys. Really fucking inappropriate. So that’s where things stand, I’m bummed out so I probably won’t update again. Just wanted to say cheers to everyone for putting my head straight - I could be still going through this shit three years later if I hadn’t left her.
Going to get drunk and drown my sorrows, later asshole enthusiasts.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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apbpku
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{
"description": "reporting a coworker who reported me",
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WIBTA for reporting a coworker who reported me
|
Using a throwaway as several of my co-workers also use Reddit and know my account.
To give some background on this story, I work for a government organisation in the UK part time around university. I have been working here for several years now and intend to leave when I graduate and get a job which should be within the next few months. Although the money I am paid is nice, now that I'm coming to the end of education it's not essential for my expenses.
My coworker, who this post is about is a full time agency staff member. This coworker, who I will call F, is normally quite nice and someone I get along with. F is also my manager when we work together as F is more experienced and is a full time worker. F is a middle aged adult, with 2 adult children and a grandchild who she helps supports financially.
Due to several managers leaving within the last year, our department decided to bring in agency staff to manage the workload whilst recruiting full time staff. F applied for one of these mangerial positions but didn't get it due to not being experienced enough. As a result, F has been spending the last few months going over and above F's duties, to ensure F would get a managerial position if it came up again.
As an agency staff, F does not receive sick leave, annual leave or any other kind of benefits which permanent staff receive and so has been applying relentlessly to any position in our department which is advertised to benefit from these privileges. F also smokes like a chimney, usually 10+ a day. We work in a location which due to Health and Safety laws requires at least two staff on duty at any one time or else the building should be closed.
End background.
To the story itself, I recently returned to work after 6 months off work due to medical issues. On my first day back, F was in charge and was very friendly and happy. Although not entirely comfortable around F, I enjoyed going back to work and had a good day in general.
Several days later, our building was extremely cold, due to both cold weather and poor heating systems. I was wearing a hooded jumper on the day and pulled my hood over my head twice due to this cold. F told me twice to pull my hood down as customers could complain. Although I did pull my hood down both times I was asked to, the second time I made a off hand comment along the lines of "I didn't come here to work, I came here to chill". I remember laughing as I said this, and obviously intending it as a joke. I didn't think any more of it and didn't pull my hood up again for the rest of the day.
Unfortunately, this week I was pulled into my line managers office alongside F. I was told that F had reported this hood issue alongside the comment I had made to my line manager, alongside some other issues my manager had picked up on. When I said it was obviously a joke, F pulled out a copy of the employee handbook and showed me the section where it says employees shouldn't make jokes about the job - obviously paraphrasing here, but that was the meaning of that part of it.
I was chewed out for not taking my job seriously and making remarks which undermined the profession and so on. Obviously I was shocked that F had even reported these comments to my manager and although I defended myself but saying it was just a joke, my manager didn't think that was a good reason. I was warned about future conduct and so on - luckily no disciplinary proceedings were started.
As a punishment, I do have to work at a secondary, worse location for a few days as a result which I absolutely detest - both my line manager and F know this and no doubt planned it accordingly. After this meeting, my manager left for the day and only me and F were left in the building. Although I didn't bring it up with F, there was obvious tension between us and no conversation apart from work related talk. I did want to ask why F reported me but didn't do so - I won't be seeing F for a few weeks now due to being placed elsewhere so won't have the opportunity to ask till then.
Later on that day, I noticed that F was doing several things which are absolutely prohibited by the Employee Conduct Code - playing on a phone, using work PCs for non work related issues, using printers to print off personal stuff. The kicker however came when F left the building for a quick cigarette break during a tea break. F also left tobacco, rolling papers and filters on a table which people use to eat - this is banned and other staff members have been given warnings due to doing this before.
Now, not only is leaving the building with only one staff member against Health and Safety Laws, it left me alone in the building with around 5-6 customers inside, any of whom could have started trouble or had some issues which would require at least two members of staff on hand. My building also has a roof leakage at the moment, which has meant a portion of the building being sealed off as it's directly underneath the leakage and bins are placed to collect water - however it can easily be accessed and several customers have done so. Although F was stood just outside the back entrance of our building and was on a tea break at the time, leaving only one person inside is a big no no and something that should be taken very seriously.
I should also note, this job is very relaxed. Although we have duties and responsibilities, these can usually be done within a couple of hours, leaving the rest of the day to relax and chill out. I have, on several occasions watched football games and completed uni work/revised for exams at work. F usually doesn't have a problem with this - if I was to report F and our relationship was to change as a result - F could make the job a lot harder and a lot more tedious, but still bearable.
Altogether, this means if I reported this, whilst it wouldn't be enough to cause Fs removal, it would probably be enough to ensure F wouldn't get a permanent position if one came up. Even if it wasn't held against F, it's enough to cause at least enough trouble for F as it caused me.
Whilst on one hand I want to report F for the same violations of the Code I was reported for, the consequences will obviously be a lot worse for F then they were for me. This job, whilst a nice earner, isn't that important to me. For F however, it's the only source of income. The nature of our position and it's declining relevance to the World also means F would struggle to find a permanent job elsewhere.
My question therefore is:
1) Would I be the asshole for reporting my coworker for violations of the same code which I was reported for?
2) Is it worth me reporting F and potentially making my life harder when I'm going to most likely be leaving within the next 6/7 months?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
fbeAoB1CLSNSQYvFu0CwQtlsVRXKbHwb
|
9y4foc
|
{
"description": "not inviting my childhood friends to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not inviting my childhood friends to my wedding?
|
I grew up in a small community and everyone from community was tight.
Right after highschool I moved away for 5 years. When I moved back slightly closer about 5 friends who all lived in different cities, but all grew up together, decided to get together at least once a year (usually xmas). The first three of these were nostalgic and really fun after all paving our own ways. The three following years were not.
2012
The best part about knowing people well for so many years is you can basically say anything to them and know everything about them. One of my friends we'll call her D is extremely outspoken (which for so many years I admired because I'm not) but I kept feeling uncomfortable with some of the things she was saying - she kept recounting our other friends sexual partners before she was married when she looked obviously uncomfortable.
2013
My then boyfriend proposed and we got engaged. At the xmas meet up everyone was talking about the wedding, me included, and how we were all going to have so much fun. I felt uneasy but figured they had been my friends for so long I'd invite them.
2014
Next xmas get together another friend H is getting married and has set a date. Everyone is going and keeps nagging me about setting a date. I don't say anything about it and try not to mention it. I don't even enjoy the company of two of these people D,and A but feel guilty.
Go to Hs wedding and D, and A are complaining about everything - the dj, the weather, how H is not paying attention to them. It was extremely disrespectful.
2015
Set my date decide I'm not going to invite D, and A but invite the other two friends (H and C).
Now here is where I think I'm an asshole. I didn't tell D and A I wasn't inviting them. I read about it and from what I understand étiquette determines you don't have to let them know but we had talked about all attending the wedding so I'm at a loss.
When they found out I didn't invite them D bad mouthed me to many people and blocked me on all social media. I have not spoken to either since.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b4t69o
|
{
"description": "using my homophobic friend to get a pc",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for using my homophobic friend to get a PC?
|
Background: I have this friend who has kinda turned into a dick over the years. Let's call him Mark. Mark is homophobic, racist, extremely transphobic to the point where he would misgender a trans individual because he thinks it's dumb. Now keep in mind I'm gay, but closeted.
So Mark and his dad decided to give me a PC. Well it broke the day after I received it, and since then Mark's dad has been fixing it. So after I get the PC I most likely wouldn't be friends with Mark afterwards because of his homophobia. I feel like if I come out of the closet that I would never get this PC, so I'm somewhat forced to stay in the closet because of this. So Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
a4cxxSNgQRpNKhy9RSpswg0mZB9aMhNZ
|
aipmx2
|
{
"description": "blocking my friend after a Slip-up",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For Blocking My Friend After A Slip-up?
|
This post is a bit long and mentions suicide. I thought I'd put this warning here.
About a year and half ago I met a guy, call him Luke. He was friends with my friends and we got on really well even though he would constantly flirt with me, but I didn't reciprocate as I was in a relationship at the time.
So that summer news came out that he cheated on his gf, but I never really believed it (hear me out) mainly because she was still very good friends with him, they often hung out 1 on 1 in secret from her friends and shortly after, they got back together on the DL. This was very short lived and they broke up once more, mainly because her friends didn't like him.
Regardless, all of his then friends left him, because they were all inclined to believe her and Luke became increasingly depressed and borderline suicidal. I felt bad for him and promised to be his friend.
We kept in touch and became really good friends. We had similar interests and hanging out was always fun. Sometimes when we hung out 1 on 1 he would flirt with me even though he knew I was taken, but it wasn't a big issue. Generally we would just laugh it off and continue on our way. If it became too much I would tell him to stop and he would, 100% of the time.
Then Luke got a girlfriend, so we didnt talk as often. I was really happy for him, he stopped hitting on me and our friendship continued.
A few weeks pass and I come home one night to a chat from Luke and to my surprise it was a d*ck pic. I was mortified. He claimed that it was meant for his gf and apologized profusely. I forgave him although I couldn't forget what I saw. I told my boyfriend about it because I felt bad. Me and bf talked a while and he suggested that it might not have been an accident. This made me extremely uncomfortable because of the past flirting and I ended up blocking him and haven't spoken to him since.
AITA for blocking him even though I forgave him and because I jumped to conclusions?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dYTGOnz1KC3xtC00O6WhXbbItdAcBED1
|
a5v7si
|
{
"description": "expecting a better gift",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for expecting a better gift?
|
So this is pretty petty I guess but I need to know what people think. We decided to host a secret Santa, where we anonymously give gifts to each other. IMPORTANT: We decided on a price of around 15 dollars (converted for convenience) for a gift. So a week passes, I do my shopping and get this girl a pretty cool collection of candles, a big cookie, glass angel thing and a drawing of a character from a show she likes. She enjoys it and thanks me a lot. In hindsight, we're not very good at being anonymous...
Anyway, I get handed my gift and it looks like a giant wrapped egg. I open it and it's a coconut. A coconut. I'm like "Oh wow a coconut! Thanks..." trying to hide my disappointment. These cost like 20 cents here... Also I couldn't open it so that was fun. Ended up shoving a protractor down in to try and get some juice. Didn't really work out.
So, am I being too triggered here and expecting too much? I feel like if he had a problem with the price range, he should've said something about it, and he's not in a bad situation. He's bought Red Dead a month back. Goes to a private school. Or maybe I'm too privileged?
TL;DR I got a coconut and it came off as if he didn't put any effort in and came up way shorter on the decide price range.
Ps: I wouldn't have cared of he got me something cheap that I was interested in, like video game merch or whatever, but it was a coconut...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0vXe5ab8k4LYMyb4GiEKeb1itiM48WQo
|
b11xp9
|
{
"description": "wanting to order delivery in a blizzard",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for wanting to order delivery in a blizzard
|
I didn't, but only because my friends convinced me not to. No food at home, & I had a craving for fried rice.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
eXPYzFeeVhZh5eR7V3Yy0ta8Jdn8T6sL
|
9v1y6s
|
{
"description": "possibly leaving my ex with not much in the apartment",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for possibly leaving my ex with not much in the apartment?
|
As all couples do, my girlfriend and I broke up semi-recently. We live together and now need to decide how things are separated, but the problem is she did not come with much whereas my parents helped us furnish our place and I brought some of my items. We already had an agreement on how the items were going to be separated but that was with the thinking we were going to still date and try to work things out, which we no longer are (her decision). We are separating on decent terms and I honestly don't want to leave her with nothing. On the other hand, she owes my parents hundreds in bills since \~May and it really doesn't seem like she will pay so I don't think she should get anything. I have spoken with my parents and they pretty much left it to me, I just don't want to be a complete asshole when it isn't warranted but I also don't want someone to screw my family over more. In case it matters or anyone cares, here are the items:
\- 2 flat screens, 1 was mine the other from my parents. She rarely watches TV and is more on her phone using YT or something so I am planning on taking both. I have multiple gaming consoles and also watch TV/sports more, I will get more use.
\- Bedroom set. The mattress/boxspring is hers but my parents bought everything else, I am letting her keep this.
\- Living room furniture, this is the big one. There is a couch and a chair set my parents bought us specifically for the apartment. I would really feel like an asshole taking this, BUT I would feel like we got screwed if she keeps this nice furniture and I now have to get second hand/cheap stuff.
\- Misc. like microwave, coffee pot, pots/pans, dishes, etc. This was a mix of my parents buying and us buying so I think she should keep it.
&#x200B;
AITA for wanting to take these items back? In my eyes my family is getting screwed while she is making off with hundreds in paid bills and will keep hundreds in material possessions as well.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
F1m6F8yUKrt0Q0oQTNaGk3xVRwI5NT7J
|
b58fcs
|
{
"description": "questioning whether or not I should try to get into a relationship with someone based on their eyebrows",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for questioning whether or not I should try to get into a relationship with someone based on their eyebrows?
|
I feel like I already know the answer to this, but I'm asking it anyways. Please hear me out first though.
Your eyes/eyebrows and mouth are basically what make up your expression at any given time. The expression that you put off will sort of reflect onto whoever you are around and can affect their mood as well. Well I met this girl and have been talking to her for a short time. We've met a few times and she seems like a really cool person who shares some similar interests with me. She's also very beautiful but first thing I noticed about her was her eyebrows. They're arched really high (think St. Louis Arch) and then slant aggressively on the insides towards her nose. This being said, she has a permanent look of being surprised/angry/evil all the time. That's the best way I know how to describe it. I don't really know enough about eyebrows to know if hers just naturally look like that or if she styles them like that herself.
Anyways, when I look at her, I can't help but feel like she's constantly surprised mixed with being mad/evil which ends up as me receiving a weird vibe although I know it's not anything she's doing intentionally. I've tried telling myself everything I know how to, like "just look past it" or that her looks shouldn't matter regardless. And looks don't matter necessarily, but I feel like other people's expressions play a big role on your mood and no matter how hard I try, I can't help but feel put off. Therefore I've been questioning if I should keep this going or not. I feel like I'd be the biggest shit head of all time for not wanting to be with someone because of their eyebrows (although I would never tell her or mention anything about it to her), but it really just throws me off more than most things could.
I'm an asshole, right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
7R4VQzjqHQIXyRZ18oV3dBWwW5QviZ98
|
b7v34u
|
{
"description": "downvoting a post",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for downvoting a post?
|
Before you say yes, it was for a noble cause. It was so that the post had 69 upvotes. AITA for downvoting a post so it has 69 upvotes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
WlC6KR6mu0Q83NDfjAxGTMeNALcpvtUR
|
az8yzv
|
{
"description": "telling the guy that was going to buy my phone to f-off",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I told the guy that was going to buy my phone to F-off
|
Basically my friend gave me a phone to sell off and a buyer answered my ad online. He said to meet him at 6pm at the local library. I told him to meet me at 11, to which he agreed. I got there at 10:45 and waited until 11:30, when I called him and he said he still thought we were meeting at 6pm. I thought he maybe forgot, so we agreed to 1. I waited until 1:15 to which I messaged him and told him I'm leaving. He said okay and so I got in line for the bus. He calls me when my bus came and said to wait 5 minutes because he was on the way. I told him i was leaving and he said that was okay. My bus wouldn't come again for an hour and I didn't want to wait. So I said I'm sorry but I'm leaving. I blocked his number and hopped on the bus. He gets his friend to call me and tell me to come back. I said no I'm gone, I'm not coming back and that I have somewhere to be. He keeps pushing for me to come back to the point where I snapped for wasting my time and yelled F*CK OFF out loud on the bus and hung up. He called 1 more time and asked to reschedule (I should mention this is the 4th time he's asked that) I said no, you're wasting my time and I'm going to sell it to someone else. He started asking even more and I just broke. I told him I'm not selling to him and that he should leave me tf alone and some other swears before I told him to never contact me again. This happened 2 hours ago btw. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GWIqKTO30XQ8czjndo2GsCkjhgTWVR1j
|
b6ui3x
|
{
"description": "telling my teacher that he's wrong and he should not teach us incorrect things",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my teacher that he's wrong and he should not teach us incorrect things?
|
In my health class, my teacher showed my class this Netflix documentary called 'what the health', which I thought contained pseudoscience and incorrect.
I told my teacher that the documentary is seemingly wrong and that he should not teach us incorrect things. He was respectful and told me that 'it's always good to ask questions and stay objective', and finished showing the class the documentary.
After the class, my friends told that it was very rude of me to tell him to stop showing the documentary. I don't think how I told him was rude, but what I told him was offensive to my classmates.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
x7RgCgqrpjqptCWRvrMuRCVuotegzBic
|
at88wa
|
{
"description": "not having sex with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not having sex with my boyfriend?
|
Throwaway, on mobile, TL:DR at bottom, etc.
My boyfriend (20M) and I (19F) have been dating for about a year and a half. This is my first relationship, and his second We are very happy together, and we try to spend as much time together as possible.
A few weeks back, the topic of becoming sexually active came up. We tried it a few times, but I was just never interested. I don't have any religious/moral objections to it, I just don't get anything out of it and it makes me slightly uncomfortable.
He, on the other hand, has a very high sex drive. He always wants it, especially after we had sex for the first time. It's to the point where he says that it affects his everyday life, like his sleep, concentration, etc.
The other day, he was talking about this situation a lot. He was sending me articles about the benefits of sex, saying how he wishes he could have sex with me so that he could sleep better, stuff like that. It felt to me very manipulative, and I asked him to stop trying to talk me into sex because it made me uncomfortable. He almost immediately apologized and backed off. He said he didn't intend for it to sound that way, but if it did then he would stop talking about it. Our conversation has been sparse since then.
We both have the day off today, and normally I would go straight to his house, but upon asking him if I was okay to head over (he sleeps in so I wait until he's awake) he said maybe I shouldn't today.
I feel bad because it's affecting his life so much, and I want to help him with it, but it seems the only solution is me having sex with him regularly, and I don't want to do that. So am I the asshole for not having sex with him? What should I do?
TL:DR I don't really care for sex and it makes me slightly uncomfortable, but my boyfriend has a super high sex drive and the lack of action is affecting his daily life. Am I the asshole for not having sex with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 11,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
gCtsS80hMtsbrb12U5guWtoz1voj5S6q
|
aupu7j
|
{
"description": "jaywalking in front of a cop",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for jaywalking in front of a cop?
|
I work for a government agency that is adjacent to the city police department. I have a short lunch (30 min) and my department is rigid about it. After getting my lunch, I began cross the street before the light change. There was a police officer waiting for the light. I began crossing and he ran, shouting and caught up to me. He asked "how much would you like a citation?" I said "not at all." By this time, mid-cross walk, the light had changed, which I pointed out to the officer.
&#x200B;
I went through employee security (which is manned by the sheriff's department, which is separate from the PD. I am friendly with these officers) and the police officer continued to yell at me and threaten me. He called my jaywalking "disrespectful" and warned me that he would cite me next time. I said "it wasn't a personal affront to you, officer" and continued on my way.
&#x200B;
AITA for not feeling contrite or embarrassed that I jaywalked? Sure, it was dumb to break the law in front of a cop, but he would have been justified in citing me. Instead, he wanted me to act sorry/feel shame/feel intimidated. I didn't hurt anyone and I wasn't sorry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
I0TT00rofnahpF0P5HqzARwC1Kqs2UPW
|
b2qmeh
|
{
"description": "commenting \"have an upvote\" on some post in a subreddit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for commenting “Have an upvote” on some post in a subreddit
|
A little backstory. About 1-2 days ago, I saw a user positing “Have an upvote (that’s my job)” So I decided to hop aboard the band wagon and started to post “Have an upvote” a lot (I think in 24 hours I posted it like 350 times) and maybe went a bit overboard at some points. My only intent was to let people know they were appreciated and were getting my upvote.
Later I got a message “You have been banned from participating in *subreddits name*” so I ask them if I can get unbanned and I won’t do it again. They then reply “no” I didn’t want to cause any problems. i just wanted to spread some love and I don’t think I did anything wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
iDUdYJ8iD8A7vnRZdGSMZ1OdMQOrgFqz
|
ar521g
|
{
"description": "being this mad",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being this mad?
|
So me and my sister both like watching anime, and we have a spare room in our basement that we have as an anime room, I guess. A few months ago I had a small party and had two people come early (P1 and P2), mainly so I could show them the anime room (they watch anime too, and I thought I could trust them). My sister, but partially me don't want word to spread around school that we watch anime, or have an anime room in our house. I tell both people that this isn't something they can tell everyone, and they both agree to not say anything.
That I know of, P2 didn't tell anyone, but a month or two later P1 and I are walking in the hallway with someone and they, most likely on accident, mention the anime room. I elbow them to be quiet, but they keep talking. I thought it was on accident, so a few days later while I'm talking to them on discord I mention it and tell them that it's fine that he mentioned it, just don't tell anyone else, but P3 was in the call so before that I told them I would deafen then for a second to talk to P1. After I undeafen P3, P1 starts to talk about why I had to talk to them, and then, even after me saying "don't tell them," tells P3 that I have an anime room. After that I just left the call, because I was really annoyed by P1 saying that.
A few hours later, after I thought about it, I decided to join the call again. I explain to P1 that them telling wouldn't bother me, but it isn't fully my secret to tell. They mostly shrug it off and doesn't really seem like they care that much but I thought they understood I really just didn't want them to tell anyone, so I just let it go.
A few months pass, and today I decide to text them to see if they want to help plan a party with me, and they tell me P4 will help, which I'm fine with. They make the conference call which I join, then I tell P4 about what we're doing. Out of nowhere, P1 goes "can I tell P4 about the thing?" After I realise what they were talking about, I say no because like I said, it isn't really my secret to tell. P1 just says to bad, and after that I left the call, because I didn't want to deal with that. It's been an hour and they haven't tried to message me or call back, and I know they told P4 about the room after I left the call, that is just the type of person they are. AITA for being this mad about a stupid secret like watching anime, even though it isn't my secret to tell, and could possibly ruin my, or my sister's social lives?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
I5IDWKE24iVMqaQuDBwVD3Zyed07vHuo
|
awrwnq
|
{
"description": "calling a mother out for cursing at me in front of her kid",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling a mother out for cursing at me in front of her kid?
|
Trying to not give away too much info - So I work in service and deal with guests a lot, mostly tourists so rude people are nothing new to me. I'm usually able to stay professional and keep my cool like nothing happened.
As one would expect, I often catch guests doing things they aren't supposed to, like trying to steal something or taking photos of things they shouldn't. Or sometimes have drunk guests acting inappropriately. It's pretty much a 50/50 the rate at which they cooperate when I tell them they can't do that.
So - one time, as usual, I had a run-in with a mother who was with her kid, noticed she was taking pictures of things she shouldn't be. As usual, I approached her and said "sorry ma'am, you can't do that" and tried to help by redirecting her to where she can. She stopped, said okay, but seemed to give me a death stare.
Five minutes later I noticed the same woman trying to do the same thing while I wasn't looking, once again I approached her and said "excuse me..." and reminded her she can't do that. She then flipped out at me, don't remember the exact words but something along the lines of "take your fucking thing I don't need it anyway, fuck off". I was shocked, because although angry customers are nothing new to me, her kid was right there! This is where I may have crossed a line, I said "seriously? In front of your kid?" To which she replied "Do you have kids? Nah, thought so, you don't understand!" (I don't lol). After that I just walked away, didn't wanna escalate anything especially while on the clock, explained to my manager what happened.
The thing is, I know it's not my business to say that, but usually when someone angrily curses at me my go-to is to discreetly tell them there's kids around and to keep it down (which there usually is), so I guess that's the first thing that came to mind. Luckily I didn't get written up or anything but my manager did tell me that I 'can't go around criticizing people's parenting'.
I guess I did overstep a bound a little bit but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
pP7ZxLqXjFKodvy5isGXUPSrtBUqUPr7
|
axgv5w
|
{
"description": "making my brother in law pay to replace our carpet",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for making my brother in law pay to replace our carpet?
|
My husband and I built our first house - literally - just over a year ago. We participated in a sweat equity program where we spent 30+ hours a week doing manual labor on our house to lower costs. We take great pride in our home and try to keep it clean. 3 months after we moved in, my husband's 22-year-old brother moved in with us to help save on costs while he was going to school. Then, he dropped out of school to work full-time. He makes $14.00 an hour, works about 60 hours a week, and pays us $100.00 a month in rent.
Today, I walked into his bedroom and discovered that he spilt yellow paint across the carpet in multiple places, and decided not to tell us. It is now dried and stained. It's not super noticeable, but you can definitely see it - it's smeared into the carpet in a few places that are at least 6 square inches. His family owns a carpet cleaning company, and he worked for them growing up, so I know he knows that he should have cleaned it up right away AND that it's not coming out now.
WIBTA for making him pay to recarpet the entire room? Certain family members have told me it's not fair, since I have toddlers who will likely destroy things anyway, and you "can't really see it much". I think I am justified that even though it would be pricy, it's his fault and that's part of living with us.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
oBW6N5iQcjwffEPG8V4HrW6xX4w7Wlxm
|
b2noxr
|
{
"description": "not laughing at a comedy act during a comedy night",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not laughing at a comedy act during a comedy night?
|
Tl;Dr
>!Didn't laugh at any of the MC's jokes, got called out for not laughing and fake laughed to shut him up!<
I (31 M) went to a comedy night recently with some friends. It should be noted that because this was a gentleman's club, most of the people there were considerably older than us (I was one of the youngest there).
After getting our drinks the MC (Master of Ceremonies) appears on stage and starts to do his warm up speech. Goes on a rant about how he used to be famous in the 90's for hosting a football breakfast radio show and another about how his photo wasn't on the Facebook poster advertising the night. I don't know if he was being serious but wouldn't stop harping on about this fact during the entire night. There were a few laughs from the back of the room but it was clear he was expecting a better reaction from the crowd.
The act he introduced finishes and there's a 15 minute interval to get drinks and stretch legs. Then the MC rants about how he used to be famous and that he should have been one of the main headline acts of the night but didn't have a picture on the poster that had been advertised on Facebook. There were a few sympathetic laughs but none from me who just wanted to see the next act.
Before the final act he came out to do a skit where he invited a guy on stage to dress in a cardboard cutout of a spoon and dance around to the jingle that used to play on the football radio show. This must have been hilarious because the party who sat infront of us who had been drinking alot were laughing their heads off. The MC seemed to know one of the people in that party as he had been calling their name after every "joke" to get a laugh from him.
The MC must have been looking at his mate while the poor guy on stage was dancing because the MC was clearly not happy about this.
MC: Hey mate, what's the matter why aren't you having fun, you got a bug up your arse or something? Looks like we have a miser in the crowd. Must not be able to see you very well mate, go and show him a good time.
The MC leads the poor man right next to me and plays the jingle while the guy sadly grinds the air in front of me, closest thing I've ever had to a lap dance and I start laughing in a fake way just to appease the MC. He seems to be satisfied with the whole ordeal and gives the shamed guy a small box of biscuits as a prize as if that's going to make everything better.
The rest of the night carried on without incident but afterwards my friends and I went outside to wait for a taxi in the smoking area. A guy came up to me and asked me why I wasn't laughing at the MC and I told him that I didn't find him funny. He says that he didn't find him funny either but was laughing just to get in the mood and try to enjoy himself and that because the MC had pointed me out as someone who wasn't having fun, I had ruined his night.
So is he right? AITA for ruining this guy's night by not laughing at content I didn't find funny?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
5sm9m6cFDN35WsIo6RO0EX7PpdMdFs8R
|
azh2pr
|
{
"description": "dumping my boyfriend for doing the same thing I did to him and right before he uproota his whole life for me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for dumping my boyfriend for doing the same thing I did to him and right before he uproota his whole life for me?
|
My (ex) boyfriend and I dated for over a year but were long distance the last 6 months of it.
We fought incessantly even before I moved. Like screaming at each other fighting, but we always managed to calm down and work it out, but I did try to break up with him on one prior occasion about two months after the move, but he convinced me to stay.
He is in the military and in order to move here with me he applied to get our early and move to the reserves. So he will be getting out and probably have to move to my city now regardless of our situation. He has a job lined up here both in the reserves and as a civilian, so he will be able to support himself.
Here comes the big issue:
He has a fetish around watching his girlfriend have sex with other men. I told him from the start I wasn't interested, but he kept bringing it up constantly. I participated once, felt terrible, told him this, and he said he'd drop it because he didn't want it to ruin our relationship. He didn't and started bringing it up literally every time we got freaky, so a few months later I tried it again thinking maybe doing it one more time would make him drop it. I again felt terrible and was angry at him because even though it was my choice to do it, I felt like he kept applying pressure until I finally gave in. I told him that he either stopped with this fantasy or I was leaving. It took him less than a week to bring it up again. I got mad, we fought, and the next night I told him I was done with the relationship and stopped texting him back.
I got on Tinder that night and was swiping. He kept texting me all night saying how sorry he was, how he has a lot of insecurities but he loves me and that it would be foolish to throw all of this away etc etc. The next morning I agreed to talk to him and told him I didn't really want to be with him anymore but if he could prove to me that he could drop the subject for good, then I would give him another chance. He asked me if I had downloaded any dating apps the night before and I told him yes I had. I didn't ask him if he had because I figured if he loved me as much as he was claiming all night and was so committed to me and fixing our relationship, then he obviously wouldn't have done any of that.
Later that day my friend sent me a screenshot of him on Tinder. I sent it to him and told him we're done. He said it was from that night that I had gotten on Tinder too, so I was being hypocritical for being mad. Maybe he is right, but my opinion is if he was that invested in saving our relationship like he claimed to be when he begged me to try to make it work, he wouldn't have done it.
So I blocked him on everything. I don't know where that leaves him as far as hos military career or where he is going to live because he was going to live with me when he got here.
So, AITA for dumping him for the reason I did and when I did?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
20so0c6WB50YzVgDV2Ctqg4Y5s0MgU4n
|
au49yw
|
{
"description": "asking my fiancée to stop degrading herself because it's impacting the way I see her",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking my fiancée to stop degrading herself because it's impacting the way I see her?
|
We've been together a long time and she's always had image issues. For years, she'll say things like "I'm fat", "I'm disgusting", "I'm ugly", etc. I understand how hard it is to not like the way you look, and have always responded with "I think you're beautiful" or similar. I've always thought she had a perfect body, beautiful face, and I love every part of the way she looks.
Lately, however, for whatever reason when she'll say something specific about herself ("my chin/face /stomach /whatever"), I've started to notice and see her perspective more. I'm not a fan of this and don't want to ruin the image I have. Today she started again and I told her that I need her to stop degrading herself because it's been impacting the way I see her.
This DID not go well. She told me I'm an asshole, I don't have her back, that I must be a child for letting my opinions be influenced by what she says. She also said that because I told her that she's starting to influence my perspective that she questions If I've been lying the other times. She says she can't help but say these things because otherwise she spirals. I said I'm responsible for her self esteem, even if I want her to feel good. That also didn't go well.
So...?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
Y7foJXXZ0PlSztUkA2dD4C8UeP4Fh08q
|
9wiy1p
|
{
"description": "being \"weirded out\" that my roommate copies everything about me",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being "weirded out" that my roommate copies everything about me?
|
I'm already beating myself up because even the title sounds childish, but please hear me out. My roommate copies every little thing about me. She copies my perfume and body wash to get the same "scent" as me, same piercings with the same jewelry that she goes out of her way to find, recently, she cut her hair the same length days after I cut mine and tries to curl it in the same manner mine naturally curls, even going out of her way to get a curling iron to achieve the "same" effect. She tries to go after guys that look a little like my boyfriend. She gets the exact same makeup products as me, and recently purchased a water bottle identical to mine. We adopted a cat together, that she neglects and I am OBSESSED with and she posts pics of her every time I do on social media- she doesn't even let the kitten into her room let alone feed her, EVER. She tries to talk like me and use the same phrases. I'm missing a lot more but I think you guys get the point and I don't wanna ramble.
Imitation is the highest form of flattery, I agree to an extent, but what really bothers me is that this girl does it all day every day. My boyfriend and other roomates tease me about it regularly. The kicker here though folks is that she always comes up to me so as to introduce to me for the first time, items I've always had and she's KNOWS I've had before.
It's almost like she gets defensive without me saying anything at all and outs herself as someone who watches my every move and tries to emulate it. I really just wish she wouldn't say anything.
All this is more annoying than truly bothersome, I guess. She constantly likes to joke that "we are the same person", which at first seemed lighthearted, but less and less now that she tries to adopt so much about me as her own. She admitted last night she "wants to be me", which was a first, but honestly still a little creepy. I never know how to approach the situation because she seldom acknowledges it and gets defensive if she even "feels" like I do, I don't liek confrontation so I literally never acknowledge her copying me. I guess I wanna know if AITA for this even bothering me at all.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
qpaBpLKhyO0OwsrDPPoQ6n0epnksNUX2
|
aksrjg
|
{
"description": "\"stealing\" my girlfriend from her best friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for "stealing" my girlfriend from her best friend?
|
Important information to start: my gf and I are both lesbians, her best friend is a straight girl. My gf and I have been together for about 3 months, and had been "talking" for about 4 months before that. We are all college students, I am 22 years old, my gf "Katie" is 21, and her best friend/roommate "Ashley" is 20. They have been friends since freshman year.
I spend time in Katie's apartment a lot, since we're dating. We usually hang out in common areas, since they share a bedroom and I want to give Ashley the option to have privacy if she wants it. Mostly all we do is watch movies or play video games in the living room. I spend the night occasionally, but only when Ashley isn't home.
Ashley isn't terrible really. Or at least, I'm trying desperately to convince myself that she's not. Katie loves her, and often talks to me about how great she is. In all of my experiences with Ashley, both with Katie and one-on-one, she has done little more than lament her lack of a boyfriend. Seriously, not a day, or hell, even a conversation goes by without Ashley pouting and whining, "No boys love meeeeee, I'm so aloooooone, is it because I'm ugly? Why don't boys ask me out?" She seems to think it's endearing. It's not.
She is very demanding of Katie's attention and affection, both verbal and physical, which would be fine, except that Katie is MY girlfriend and I don't really like it when I'm cuddling with her, only to have Ashley snuggle up on her other side. Every time I'm hanging out with Katie, Ashley will suddenly appear to show her something, or ask a question, or see if Katie will help her with something. The other day, Katie told me that she loved me, and Ashley called from across the house, "What about me, babe? Do you love me?" And Ashley doesn't seem to like me much. Last night when I was over, I overheard her complaining to Katie that she didn't like it when I played 1 player video games while Katie watched because it was boring for Ashley. She seems to resent me for "taking" Katie from her.
I get that they have been friends for longer than Katie and I have been dating, but I feel that Ashley's behavior is troubling. Still, I'm not convinced that I'm not the asshole for being so irritated by Ashley's behavior. After all, it's probably hard to adjust to your best friend of four years suddenly spending a lot of time with a new girl who just showed up out of nowhere, and the fact that we're both girls might make it harder for her to realize that we're in an actual relationship and not just friends (Ashley only found out that Katie was gay about six months before we started dating). I've been brooding over it lately, so I thought I'd ask about it here.
Tl;dr, I have been spending a lot of time with my girlfriend, and her best friend seems to feel that she's had her best friend stolen from her. AITA for not wanting her to be super cuddly with my girlfriend while I am actively cuddling her, or not giving us any time to be alone together?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
nOpDdw2efpL6pdRQq4G6ZoKvg5Hi3iga
|
a0e6du
|
{
"description": "saying that my little brother's basketball isn't good after a game",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for saying that my little brother’s basketball isn’t good after a game?
|
He’s on the 7/8 grade team, and is on the A-Team (the school has A-D teams based on skill). He has the same head coach as last season (he also has a son on the team, but his son is really good). Both last season and so far this season, we have been losing game after game. Not because our players are bad, but a lack of coaching. Finally after we let another game slip, I said to my family (loud enough for some others around to hear) that he really isn’t a good coach. My parents gave me death glares and weren’t too fond on my criticism that I said aloud. But I feel it needs to be known that he really isn’t a good coach, as he lets the team collapse and never gets fired up like his 6th grade coach or any other coach
Tl;dr- My little brother’s basketball team lost another game they should have won, and I said that the coach isn’t good. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
CbjXOr6dkZb4ZWzJ40AvA47go4H33pi4
|
anb6mk
|
{
"description": "not helping my brother with his vet bills",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not helping my brother with his vet bills?
|
(This is on mobile.)
So a little info. My family currently has two dogs. They are the puppies of my old dog Zoey. She was my first pet and i loved her to death. I had her for two year, and then she got pregnant. See she was a pit/lab mix and the dad is a lab/retriever mix. We called around and found people to take all the puppies when they were born. When they were born there were nine. We managed to give away 7 of them to our close friends and family so they could still play together as they got older. We still had 2 puppies and Zoey, but Zoey was starting to get really weak. When i took her to the vet, i found out that she had an issue with her heart and would due within the next month. So i took her home and told my parents and brother.
My brother then has the bright idea of keeping 2 of the puppies. One for him and my mom to share and the other one for me to keep when Zoey died. I was pretty upset with him about that. For the next month he would make snide comments about Zoey and how i should just have her put down early. We got into a fight and my mom told me to chill out because it's "just a dog, your brother should be more important." So time passes, Zoey dies and i have one of her daughters as my new dog. The dog my brother kept was the largest of the litter. He also got a skin issue from Zoey because she was half pit. So my mom takes my brother and his dog to the vet to get special pills that will help his skin. After my mom was charged the bill she told my brother that he owed her for the pills ( it was around $88). He said he spent all of his money on stuff for his wii u(lie). Then my mom then tries to ask me for the money. I said no because 1. Its not my dog and 2. My brother does have the money, he just doesn't want to spend it on his own pet. She began to yell at me about how since im the oldest i have to pick up the slack from my younger brothers. I said that what he does is no longer my problem as he's old enough to know how he needs to take care of whats his (pet, consoles, shoes, etc) She then calls my dad to tell him i won't pay for my brother's vet bill. My dad thankfully told her that it's not my responsibility to pay for my brother's pet. So my brother was forced to pay up and says he hates me now. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
VL4JHMbn84zgKiKaE9u0rIBrqG8MXIgv
|
aeefa9
|
{
"description": "picking Anti-Feminism as my Speech topic in an English Assessment causing my feminist teacher to become bias",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 24
}
|
AITA for picking Anti-Feminism as my Speech topic in an English Assessment causing my Feminist teacher to become bias.
|
This teacher in my school has been constantly giving me hell due to my views on feminism which I expressed in her English speech assessment. I’m a 15 yr old Male and when I did this speech I was 14. Ever since I did this speech my English teacher, who’s a feminist, has been clearly making my grades worse, been telling other female teachers to watch me and treat me worse, pick on me etc. And she’s been increasing pupils grades in my English class who share her views, just because of this one speech.
She has done so many bad things to me and my classmates so I just have to list them in some kind of chronological order.
Speeches start, I do anti-feminist/mens rights speech using facts.
I get a decent grade on my written speech but my voiced speech grade was bad but admittedly that was my bad, when I had to answer questions the teacher just kept asking irrelevant questions which I couldn’t answer, she wouldn’t let anyone else ask questions, I got a good reception from the men but women were unhappy.
Feminist speech by woman was pretty much the same quality written wise but was just not said in a good tone, generally just sounded liked she was whining and fake crying, yet she got way better grades then I did.
International women’s day comes around, she does a whole lesson on it, tells us to pick our female role model in our life, feminist pupil says Hermione Granger, not Emma Watson but the character, teacher agrees. I then say my dog who was very old at the time and sickly but she kept powering through it, teacher says it was an unreasonable choice and disrespectful.
Next written assessment comes around and we had to study articles, both articles were about feminism and women’s rights, absolutely nothing reasonable to write about them, yet again feminist pupils seem to get good grades.
Throughout lessons afterwards teacher singled me out, calling me something similar to a nazi, can’t remember, saying I have strong opinions, just generally nothing kind about me. She seems to look at me strangely, she sits me far away from her in all seating plans for English, even though I would prefer to sit near the front so I don’t have to wear glasses.
During all this females in my year start calling me sexist, racist, a pig, nazi, horrible person, telling me to delete socials etc.
International men’s day comes along and the teacher does nothing about it, we just have a normal lesson studying a book, so with 5 mins till end of lesson I make a big deal of it. I start by asking her if she knew it was international men’s day that day, she said she didn’t no, I say it’s important to know, she says she didn’t know, I say she should’ve done something, she just keeps repeating herself. She threatens to send me to isolation for disruption if I don’t be quiet so I go quiet and carry on with my work. She makes me stay behind after lesson and talk to her, she tells me what I did was wrong and she says she would’ve done something if she knew about it but I know that’s total BS, head of English department walks in asking what happened, teacher shows me negatively, I have to say sorry to get no punishment. The head was quite clearly a SJW or a suck up if you looked at him, he seems quite privileged so probably the reason he thought I was the bad one.
Non-school uniform comes around and the English teacher wears a “The future is FEMALE.” shirt so I avoid eye contact the whole lesson. I plan to buy “The future is MALE.” shirt for the next non-school uniform.
After all this my science class gets a substitute for the rest of the term and the substitute is the other feminist teacher in our school who is quite high up in power and she seems to do similar things to my English teacher and tells me off for no reason at all and will keep shouting at me.
TLDR: Feminist teacher targets me for my anti-feminist views, proceeds to target me with other teachers and become bias to people who share her political views, female classmates proceed to verbally harass me on social media and on school grounds.
AITA for thinking this is all wrong and that she should be punished for it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 9,
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AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 24
}
|
WRONG
|
Px5L5TEH8vuG5euLIY2REiBvhCbdYnRT
|
armzyc
| null |
AITA 3-year relationship on the ropes due to porn
|
Hi,
&#x200B;
My SO (20F) and I (22M) have been going strong for 3 years now, even though we have quite different views/opinions about basically everything; attitude, politics, religion, philosophy.
&#x200B;
One of the hot topics we have discussed a lot is religion. I do not have a strong leaning to either side (guess that would constitute an agnostic) and my family has always had a pretty laid back attitude to these questions. But on the other hand, her upbringing is from a protestant family, and she has had a pretty strict christian upbringing.
&#x200B;
During one of our many discussions we came to the topic of masturbation and porn. She didn't like the fact that I looked at porn, while we were in a relationship, so I promised to stop, and I have kept and respected that promise ever since.
&#x200B;
The current problem is, that even though I don't masturbate to porn any longer, I still get berated (daily) about the fact that I believe, that in a relationship between two grown adults, porn is a topic that should simply be discussed and if neither party is comfortable with the other masturbating to porn, then perhaps they should come to a solution that fits them (me not watching porn, in our case).
&#x200B;
She firmly believes that masturbating to porn is equivalent to cheating, no matter what, and that my opinion is vile and disgusting. She says she won't be able to maintain our relationship as long as I have this opinion, and I honestly don't know what to do.
&#x200B;
I've stopped masturbating to porn, like she asked me, but now she wants to break up because I don't share her opinion. Is my opinion wrong that wrong?
Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 35,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
YY0e9lUhVVcPpDhwKDAfvcb4KZpir7cR
|
avnd0y
|
{
"description": "ignoring my neighbor who thinks I'm being too loud",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for ignoring my neighbor who thinks I'm being too loud?
|
I moved into my apartment 6 years ago when my daughter was 1. I live on the second floor and the people who lived below me for the majority of my time here moved out about six months ago. New tenants moved in, four 21 year olds who just got out of college and moved to my city. My landlord lives above me.
I have shared custody of my 7 year old daughter and she is only with me 50% of the time. She is in school full time and i would say during the week she is really only awake and moving about the apartment from 5:00pm to 8:00pm. That being said, she does run around the house, play with toys, laugh, etc. This past weekend, she had 5 friends over for her birthday party. While I tried to keep the kids quiet, they were excited and rowdy and I couldn't take them outside because it was too cold. The guests were at my house from 4-7pm and then left and during that time, the landlord who lives above me texted me and asked that the kids "take it down a notch." I was very apologetic and explained that it was a birthday party and it would be over soon. Then I told the kids to calm down and it seemed to work pretty well. I haven't heard anything else from the landlord and I have never had any of the other people in the building complain.
Today my daughter had 2 friends over after school and they were running around again but only from 6pm to 7:30pm. And I received this text from the neighbor downstairs:
Hi, this is your downstairs neighbor, I asked the landlord for your number because I didn't want to like bang on your door but I need you to know that the running around upstairs is really really loud down here. It seems to be happening a lot more often so I needed to say something.
I was miffed as they tend to have people over late at night and also play music/video games pretty loudly. I have never complained because it's not that bad and I live in a big city where I expect noise. So I responded saying, "I'm sorry it's loud. My daughter just got home from school and will be in bed in 2 hours."
This was the response: "ok I get it but just keep in mind she is running and jumping on our ceiling. This isn't the first time and it's not appropriate."
I haven't responded and I'm not sure if I will. But when the 3 kids were over I let them run around despite the text because I found it to be so obnoxious. I don't think she should tell me what is and isn't appropriate for my daughter to do in our private home. Until winter is over, we are stuck in this apartment and she is only here half of the time. I equally annoyed that the landlord gave her my number without permission.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
0d6KMuvbqCg8gNpKGn8ohYE49TLeQ7iL
|
ak77oj
|
{
"description": "joining a discord server with an old link",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for joining a discord server with an old link?
|
I had a really close-knit group of internet friends about two years ago, and due to life events I gradually grew apart from them. No bad blood at all, just the flow of time and me losing interest in our shared hobby. Lately I've been thinking about them a lot because I picked up our shared hobby again and I stumbled upon some old chat logs and while searching for a way to get back in touch I found a link to a small discord server (7 members) that we'd set up that was still active. Discord has 2 kinds of invite links- a temporary one that expires, and a permanent one, which this must've been since it was made over a year ago. In invite links it shows a status if people are online in the group, which 4 of my old friends are. This was a private server for just the few of us and wasn't really used by anyone else, but I'd left the server when I lost interest in our hobby and was cleaning up the list of servers I was in.
I'm not sure if it'd be an asshole move, but it certainly might be rude or odd/creepy, to rejoin with that link to try and catch up. WIBTA or creep to click a year-old link and rejoin our old server? Or should I try and find some other way to get back in touch?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0YEIuj7rQuWqEfHEws9xUyaVGGAOzSpn
|
9xom6n
| null |
AITA, Veteran Publicity Stunt
|
AITA? Sorry for the text wall. So fourth of July rolls around and I'm tagged in a Facebook post by a friend for one of those "like, tag, share raffles." A man that owns an electrical company was offering a Veteran $1,500 worth of electrical work. Well, I am a vet and so was my late husband and it happens I won! Two days later he came over to my house. I had ceiling fans that I wanted wired and hung in the bedrooms. He said that that would be easy and then he went on about how he was going to put recessed lighting downstairs and Bluetooth speaker light fixtures in all the bathrooms... I was absolutely thrilled.
Well months went by and he didn't answer my calls occasionally he would tell me he was going to come out and then he wouldn't. Well on Veteran's Day Sunday he texts me out of the blue and says he wants to come Monday and do the work. I spent the entire day cleaning (look I have 4 kids and work full time) He came in Monday built the ceiling fans but didn't install them... just left them in the middle of my kids rooms, he said he'd be back Weds, but he didn't. Some of his crew stopped by unannounced today to install them, but it's very clear I'm not getting any of the recessed lighting or the Bluetooth speakers.
I mean I'm super excited to get the ceiling fans put in, but I'm kind of bummed that he would come to my house and say he was going to do a bunch of things that he had no intentions of doing. I also don't like being used as a publicity stunt, his post was shared thousands of times. Am I the asshole? Should I ask him to do what he said he would do or should I just let it go and be happy with what I got?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2FQdw86tWzka84AyR8hssKUyeNmcTyWQ
|
9yswz7
| null |
AITA Mom wants to give away my honey wine without asking me.
|
AITA? My mother texted me and told me she wants to give her coworker a bottle of my Mead that I make at home. She said "don't you want to show off your skills?" I don't know this coworker, and I find it rude that she wanted me to text her all the different varieties of Mead I've made so he can "choose the one he likes best." It is something I have put months of time into and I feel like it was rude of her to gift away something that isn't hers to gift. Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
wDE01Ez9ZYGYQ2Pwsk72vLBwyoPGwCtH
|
aonovt
|
{
"description": "asking for a few extra days to consider a job offer",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking for a few extra days to consider a job offer?
|
Two weeks ago I applied for a job. The interview went great, and I even had a second interview in which I worked for a little and was able to interact with the team. I had another offer on the table from someone I am close with that I kept pushing back at the time so when the company told me they would get back to me the next week I said sounds great, I have another offer so as soon as a decision is made it would be awesome if you let me know.
On Tuesday of the following week they got back to me with an offer to which I asked if I could get back to them the next day and if I had any questions I would email them over. Both of these jobs are hourly, I just graduated college. I emailed them the next day asking if they had a policy in place for reviews for potential raises whether it be 60, 90, or 180 days from the start date. I only asked this because the other position I was considering offered a 60 day raise review. The boss responds and says they typically do yearly reviews other than for title changes. I respond back saying great thank you, is there anyway I could get back to you on Friday and sleep on the decision. I don’t get a response, so I email again asking if Friday is okay. I get an email later that night saying while they wanted to know today, after reading my email they wanted to further discuss my role and I could get back to them Friday. I was shocked and knew that this wasn’t good. The next day I get an email from them telling me I should accept the other job and that after reconsidering I am not a good fit for the company because I want to eventually leave the state (this was already discussed prior and okayed). I ask to call them so I could explain myself as my intentions were getting lost in translation and I get no answer.
The next day I call the office and am told I will be called back in an hour, again I am ghosted. So I send one final email apologizing for asking too forthcoming of questions and reiterating my desire to work for the company long term, accepting the position, and that again I would love to talk on the phone to sort this out. I get no response until past the end of the workday basically saying that while they respect my decision to ask for a pay raise and “my desire to sleep on working with them” they had other candidates more eager than me.
I was honestly pretty shocked by all this, am I an asshole??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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