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{
"description": "sacking my special needs kitchen porter",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sacking my special needs kitchen porter.
|
I have recently taken over as the headchef at a hotel, which itself has just been bought over but new owners.
One of the kitchen porters (dishwasher/cleaner) is a man I have worked with at a previous hotel for around six years. I like him, but, I think that he is lazy and will do anything to avoid doing what is asked of him. He will do the work but you have to chase him up all the time. When he wants to work hard he works hard but I think he chooses not to.
So a few days ago I come into the kitchen to open up and the place is a shit hole, not only has he not done the specific cleaning tasks I asked him to do but he's not even done his close down tasks. This isn't the first time I've seen him do this but it is the first time I have been his boss. I decided that day that if I want this place to work I need a team that can are motivated and want the place to work, and that wasn't him. I spoke to the owner and he left the decision to me and I decided to get rid of him.
Today I've come in to start my shift and the temporary front of house manager has gone apeshit at me, saying that I can't sack him for this and that he needs more guidance because he is a little "slow" (her words), she thinks that it's "disgusting" the way we are treating him.
My view after working with him for years is that his disability is not severe, he is perfectly capable of functioning as an adult human he needs help with reading and maths etc but he fully understands his role what it entails and he has been a kitchen porter for 15+ years, so it is not an excuse to say he needs extra guidance, and we can't afford to carry him.
So I will be sacking him on Monday and replacing him with a guy that I now works hard and I can trust to get us through a rebrand with minimal supervision.
So reddit am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a59dsl
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{
"description": "telling my dad that I do not want my stepmother to be involved in my baby's life",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for telling my dad that I do not want my stepmother to be involved in my baby's life?
|
My parents divorced when I was ten years old. I am one of four siblings. Pre-divorce, my father had my mother get her tubes tied because he didn't want any more children. After the divorce, he immediately married a woman with an infant and adopted her baby (donor sperm, no birth father around). He then chose to have another baby with her. After that baby was born, my stepmother and father treated me and my siblings like second class citizens. She felt that we should be cut off at 18, while her now 18 year old daughter continues to live at home. She constantly criticized us and our mother. She frequently complained about child support (my father, despite making good money, paid only the statutory minimum). She was a total jerk at my wedding and wore sunglasses in all the photos. Now I have a new baby and all of the sudden she wants to be involved. She keeps having my dad call me and say HE wants to come visit, and she always comes along. She also frequently posts on social media as if she is involved in my baby's life. I am not comfortable with this. I am debating talking to my father and telling him that I don't want her involved in my baby's life. My concern is that when her kids have babies, my baby will be ignored and not understand why she no longer has a relationship with this woman. WIBTA if I have this talk with my dad?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b3ragb
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{
"description": "staying friends with my friend's ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for staying friends with my friend's ex?
|
Arnold is a long-time good friend from our hometown.
Five years ago Arnold went out with Lucy. Things got serious and they moved in together. About a year in, things went downhill and they ended their relationship. He was brokenhearted, madly in love with her and though they attempted to stay friends he couldn't stop from falling for her causing them to stray again and again.
​
After a few months I met a girl at party, Jackie. We became friends and me, knowing Arnold needed a way out of his blues, hooked them up and Walla! they fell in love! They moved in and he was doing much better and seemed to have put Lucy behind. I was so happy for both of them but especially for Arnold for moving on.
​
Lucy (Arnold's ex) and me saw each other on the street randomly, mostly small-talk. I was working part-time job and that called for a lot of late-night drinking, something that as I soon found out Lucy was also into. So we became drinking buddies, we would meet about once or twice a month for a beer and maybe a party, naturally after months we just became friends.
​
When Arnold learned Lucy and me were becoming friends, he wasn't thrilled but knew he was deep in another serious relationship and asked me to not shove it in his face, to which I obviously agreed. I never mentioned it to him. Now is about 2 years after their breakup and 1 year after he met his new girlfriend, Jackie.
​
Now here's my fuckup - one time Lucy and me were out and extremely drunk and I said something sexual to her, yet she wasn't mad, laughed it off and I apologized quickly, understanding its the alcohol talking. We both went on less than a minute later as if nothing had just happened. Still, with lots of guilt, I wanted to tell Arnold, but since nothing happened I decided to put it behind me.
​
Somehow Arnold found out, went ballistic and cut me off completely. I wrote him nothing actually happened, that we were really drunk and I'm extremely sorry I didn't tell him.
​
Months later we tried to settle it down where I learnt he wasn't really mad about that incident, he was jealous of me that I can be her friend and he can't (because he's emotionally unstable around her or because Jackie wouldn't allow him to), so I was given an ultimatum - either cut off Lucy completely or he's not my friend anymore (alongside with two other friends of mine). I told him I need to think it through but soon after came to realize it would be a shitty thing for me to do to Lucy to just cut her off because her ex is jealous, it's just not her fault.
​
I know IATA for not being honest, but AITA for staying friends with Lucy?
​
PS:
1. I would have never hung out with Lucy if Arnold wasn't already deep in another serious relationship.
2. I have a girlfriend and very much not interested in anything to do with Lucy romantically.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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alyb5e
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{
"description": "going to Bed at 2 am on a Monday Night? or AITA for asking my roommate to not have guests over past midnight? or both",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Going To Bed at 2 AM on a Monday Night? Or AITA For Asking My Roommate To Not Have Guests Over Past Midnight? Or Both?
|
I'm a college freshman living in residence and me and roommate are both night owls, like I normally go to bed around 12:30 and she usually goes to sleep a few hours after me. I'm not actually sure how much later she stays up because I always go to bed first, but from time to time she complains/brags about falling asleep around 4 or 5. She's mentioned a couple times that her anxiety won't let her go to bed before me but it was never like a serious conversation. So anyways it's like 11 on monday night and I'm wide awake and I was on a bit of a Sims 4 kick so I decide to keep playing for a while longer. At this point I was concerned that might be a dick move because of the anxiety thing, but then I remembered how late she normally stays up and that she only has afternoon classes the next day (this is important later) so I figured it wasn't a problem, and it's not like she said anything about it. I still couldn't sleep a few hours later which I did apologize for at the time because I was awake for most of the night. When I woke up the next morning she had already left the room and left me a passive aggressive note asking me not to do that again because tuesdays are busy for her.
​
Normally I'd obviously be the asshole here, but here's the thing; last semester she often had guests over well past midnight to watch the office or talk about anime, which kept me from sleeping. I missed a few classes because of that including one that was worth 1% of my final grade (which isn't that much but still). When I asked her not to have people over so late I got chewed out. Apparently because we're both friends with these people they're also my guests (even tho they were only talking to her and doing things I'm not involved in) so I should have kicked them out, and how we shouldn't have a rule just because I can't communicate. My anxiety and basic manners can go to hell I guess. I ended up apologizing to end the argument (it's still the only time we've ever really fought). I ended up getting lucky because most of the people who used to come over decided that they also wanted to go to bed at a decent hour and now they leave at 11 for the most part. I was over this whole thing until I read her note. I can't figure out how I'm the asshole for keeping her awake at night AND I'm the asshole for asking her not to keep me awake, so I figured I'd ask y'all.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aip496
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{
"description": "not speaking with my ex best friend anymore",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For not speaking with my ex best friend anymore.
|
Ok, so, me and this guy were childhood best friends for like 12 years. But naturally after high school, we fell apart, different lives and all that. We still made an effort to see each other from time to time to see how things were going, but I think we both knew it just would never be the same again. In one of our last encounters I mentioned that I was studying to become an actor, and that he should go see a play that I'm in someday, he said he'd love to.
​
But here is the thing, our School/Theatre Company charges for the tickets. (the actors never see this money btw) The students/actors can buy the tickets for any play there for 1/4 of the price , you just can't buy more than one ticket for the same play for this price, so we usually just get other students to buy it for us if we need more than one ticket for a play. So when I'm doing a play, family and friends are always asking for tickets for 1/4 of the price, not only because it's cheaper, but because they don't have to get in a queue for it. And it's kind of a pain in the ass because I'm trying to concentrate so that I don't fuck everything up when I'm on stage (I usually work on the lighting aswell, and that takes time to setup), but I need to be constantly checking my phone to see who is asking for tickets, and talking to people to see if they can buy a ticket for me. My best friend than texts me and asks if I can get two tickets for him, because he would get there late and the tickets would probably be sold out by the time he arrived, I said sure.
Thing is, I forgot to buy the fucking tickets, I was so caught up on what I was doing that by the time I remembered, the tickets were already sold out, and my phone was dead, so I couldn't text him. Since my family was there I asked for them to message him and say that he wouldn't be able to see the play.
For some reason, maybe because I'm quite a stubborn person, and because I was stressed out by the play and everyone that wanted a ticket, I didn't apologise, I just explained the situation, and hoped he would understand, I thought he did, boy was I wrong. Some time passes, and the next message I sent him wishing a merry xmas was met with a pretty cold reply.
​
Cut to some months later, and I'm again doing a play. This time I texted him the day before saying that to compensate for last time, I would buy him two tickets, go to his house and personally deliver them to him, he never responded, only saw the message. I said fuck it, I don't need this, people fall apart, that's life, I'll remember all the good and bad times we had together, but I do not wish to extend whatever this friendship has become. We never texted eachother again.
​
I have a feeling this whole situation is super fucking petty, AITA here?
PS. Sorry if this whole thing isn't clear enough, english is not my first language.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
aCK9hAmFr6FAZhC2d3dsmKSAiSirT3eK
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ag5nkn
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{
"description": "not beingcomfortable letting my girlfriend go to a concert alone with a guy friend she met 4 months ago",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA because I wasn’t comfortable letting my girlfriend go to a concert alone with a guy friend she met 4 months ago?
|
My long distance GF called me and told me that she wanted to go to concert but none of her friends of family could go except her guy friend she met 4 months ago. I’ve never met him. I told her I don’t feel comfortable going one on one to a concert with a single guy formed she has only known for a few months. Anyways she ends up going and she is saying I’m insecure and jealous.
I’ve been dating her for 8 years and although we have some trust I feel she is using this “you are insecure card” to walk over me and do what she wants.
TLDR- am I the asshole for not being comfortable with my gf going to a concert alone with a single dude she met 4 months ago?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b1id3p
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{
"description": "not paying a bill I never agreed to pay, and then moving out",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not paying a bill I never agreed to pay, and then moving out
|
So a few years ago my mom and her fiancé find this house for rent and it has two separate suites. They can’t afford it on their own so ask if my husband and I would be interested in renting the bottom suite. We tell them sure, and that our budget is $1100 per month as we are trying to save money for investments/to buy a house. (We are already living in our own place at this point for less)
For context the rent for the entire house is $2900. They are living on the top two floors in a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house with a double garage and backyard for $1800 a month, and we are living in a 2 bedroom 1 bath basement suite for $1100. My husband works for an Internet company so we pay $100 for Internet and cable for the entire house, and they agree to pay the other utility bills (seems fair for the amount of rent they are paying vs space.) which equal about $250 a month. (So we are paying $1200, and they are paying $2050)
Everything is fine for months. Then in December they ask us to sit down, tell us that they had gone on equal monthly payments with the gas company (this means you have to pay the remaining balance or get paid out at the end of the year) which we did not know about obviously because the bill was not in our name, and they got hit with a $1500 gas bill that they weren’t expecting because they weren’t tracking our usage throughout the year.. They want us to pay them $500 to cover a third of the bill.
My husband and I refuse to pay the on the grounds that they agreed to pay the bill, they are the ones who decided to go on equal monthly payments, and they should have been tracking the monthly usage.
We instead offer that for the following year we will increase our rent by $50 a month to help manage the extra cost going forward. (That would be $600 extra for the year, which lines up with the extra usage.)
They call us out and say we are big assholes, are ungrateful, and are using them. My moms fiancé even goes as far as to say that we are LOSERS and that they shouldn’t have to pay our way when we are working 24 year olds. I tell him that he’s getting a sweet deal on his huge ass house and to not act like we are the ones taking advantage.
My husband and I pretty much tell him to go fuck himself, and we give 2 months notice, move out and get a townhouse. Their landlord rents the suite to someone else and increases their share of the rent to $2400 plus utilities. Moms fiancé is PISSED and says that it’s not fair we would abandon them and put them in that position after everything they have done for us.
I started to feel bad at this point but my husband says that we did nothing wrong.
So, AITA for not agreeing to pay the bill and then for giving notice and moving out and leaving them to figure it out alone?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
fiTUBNVSuQfyGJrYyzeFeZYhhT1H25XV
|
9zwh1j
|
{
"description": "turning down a girl because she's overweight",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for turning down a girl because she’s overweight?
|
This girl and I had been friends for a while and it’s been chilling between us, frankly I really like her as a friend. During all this time I don’t like I’ve lead her on one bit. One day we were talking and she confessed to me, she said she had a crush on me for a minute. I told her it was very flattering that she feels that way about me but unfortunately she’s not my type. She then pressed me by asking what is my type, and is it because she’s fat. In my head I was thinking yeah but I couldn’t just say it to her face like that, so I made up some bs type to hopefully shift the convo away. I don’t have anything against fat people, it’s just they’re not my dating type
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b9eq78
|
{
"description": "using small paperclips",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for using small paperclips?
|
My supervisor has told me before he hates small paperclips. Occasionally I will use them in reports I give to him... because I am out, or it's only two pages, or because the small ones have the grippy ridges and hold better.
Today I got handed back reports and his comment was "I HATE small paperclips." Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
aJtOlUUnyy18rLR366mtDLPJpG2q7nqO
|
antyqs
|
{
"description": "not buying my best friend a wedding present",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not buying my best friend a wedding present?
|
So I’ll preface this with the fact that the wedding hasn’t actually happened yet. However, I told someone recently I didn’t plan on buying her a wedding gift and you would’ve thought I said I was going to burn down the church.
My reasoning behind this is as follows:
I am the maid of honor in this wedding. I have flown across the country to see her for wedding related things probably 3 times in the past year. That’s ~$700 in flights alone. Not to mention the one I’ll purchase to attend the wedding, and the vacation days I’ve taken / will have to take. Also, a hotel room in Manhattan for that weekend.
I purchased the bridesmaids dress ($300) and still need to buy shoes. I was told hair for the day of the event was being charged at $130 per person.
The bachelorette party is in Napa. My portion of the house was $400. My flights are probably going to be in the $300 range. This doesn’t include rental car or any activities we’ll be partaking in.
I should mention that I in no way am upset about what I’ve spent or will spend on the event. She’s my best friend in the world and I know she’d be doing the same for me. She’s never been demanding in her requests.
With that said, I do feel like at this point my gift has been given. I will have spent thousands of dollars on this thing when all is said and done, and to purchase an additional gift on top of that seems superfluous and just doesn’t sit well with me. It’s a 250 person wedding, there will be ample gifts for them to enjoy. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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nv8G1rL8tGVrjKplYzC1nroNCbiI2NUj
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ap8hie
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{
"description": "insisting my husband take time off work",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I insisted my husband take time off work.
|
For Christmas I was gifted a few nights at a resort. My husband and I haven’t been able to take a proper vacation together since our honeymoon (5 1/2 years ago).
At the beginning of he month my husband started a new job and has already been approved to take the time off. The reservation is this weekend. Due to snow storms my husband’s job has been closed to days and now they are asking anybody available to come in on Saturday to catch up. My husband says he wants to skip our weekend away to go to work.
I’ve been looking forward to this for months, I even booked a non refundable couples massage at the resort. And I feel like I’m being deprioritized. I want to put my foot down and insist he take the time off but I’m worried I’m being selfish.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a2q3iw
|
{
"description": "being pissed at my dad for telling me how to fix my mistakes",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being pissed at my dad for telling me how to fix my mistakes
|
I’m in first year Highschool, I’ve got a lot on my plate. Projects, exams, time, I’ve got a lot to manage. Today I accidentally hit myself in the nose with my knee, really damn hard, trying to do a joke during class. I was excused to go to the nurse’s clinic, nothing serious, just put an ice pack. Got home, placed another ice pack from the freezer to help with the swelling. When parents came home, dad realised I had an ice pack on my desk, he asked why. I lied and said “Oh, I got hit by a volleyball while playing. I’ve already learnt my mistake, I don’t need a long talk.” (Context : my dad can literally spend hours talking on a subject on “self improvement” and they’re really obvious and can be remembered with common sense, he always does this talk that lasts way too long ever since I was young, a handful of years back) Dad replies with “oh okay, you should’ve just blocked the ball with your face using your arms, like this.” *holds arms infront of face* I interrupted him and said “please I really don’t want this talk, it’s almost for me to go to sleep.” I let my dad get out of the room and close the door. A few seconds later, he continues his lecture on how I could’ve defended myself better. Now I’m here typing this in the sub. I’ve had talks with him before on how he needs to keep it short with his “lectures.” MANY times before. Even though I lied about my situation, it is my fault and he’s trying to help, but I wanna hear your guys’ opinions.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
aq1krr
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{
"description": "telling my husband that I wanted a place in our home where I could get away",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my husband that I wanted a place in our home where I could get away?
|
My husband and I (a man) have lived in our current home for almost 5 years. It's a very small home that is about 700 sq ft. We have the potential for more square footage if we finish our basement and/or enclose our back deck. I was talking to him tonight and mentioned that I really would like some extra space where I could go and just get away. I love to read and find it my number one way to relax. Currently, I read in the living room which is not far from where he has his computer. His computer is in a room of it's own that is solely for him. With our house being as small as it is, no one is ever far from the other. When I mentioned that I would love some extra space he got upset and acted as if I was just trying to escape him. I've apologized for hurting his feelings, but I dont feel like wanting more space is something crazy. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b2ecqn
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{
"description": "walking in on my roommate's girlfriend in the bathroom accidentally twice",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for walking in on my roommate's girlfriend in the bathroom accidentally twice
|
During university my roommates (also friends) were very bad at turning off lights in common areas. I had discussed it with them at length before but their logic was they weren't paying for utilities so who cares. Fair enough.
The issue was that this meant sometimes when the bathroom light was on it didn't mean anyone was using it. We also tended to kept the bathroom door closed/open regardless of if it was not in use. Essentially what I'm getting at is that sometimes the bathroom door would be closed with the light on and no one in it. So I would often just try to door to see if it was in use.
One day my friend has his girlfriend stay the night. That night I go to use the bathroom to brush my teeth and open the door and she standing their naked so I quickly close the door apologizing and head back to my room a bit embarrassed. I tell my friend about what happened and he just said don't worry about it so I just forgot about it.
The next day around noon (when I generally wake up) the same thing happens when I'm going to use the bathroom to brush my teeth again. This time my friend is in the living room so I look at him and just with a look of defeat say "does she not know how to use the lock?"
He said that it was my fault for not checking if the light was on before trying the door and that I should be the one being more considerate
This kind of caused a fight between us cause it had happened multiple times. But neither was willing to take the blame.
Just wondering if I'm TA here for being annoyed by this.
|
HISTORICAL
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
KXNAxa1Oqubx6091B0XvkB3ngw2WHjt7
|
b67ud3
|
{
"description": "calling the police",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling the police?
|
All day there has been a car parked directly in front of the stop sign next to my house. When I left, it was a bit of a dangerous hassle moving around the car. Coming back was worse. I assume it might belong to a roadworker because I saw a orange sign on the roof of the car. I tried to drive around and find the owner. Just now I looked out the window to see a couple more cars trying to move around this guy.
So, I called the cops. I worry that this might have been an overreaction?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q7TzsM7OpQbhRMu8HtAdc8vaNo6DQUug
|
ar260t
|
{
"description": "leaving my friend at lunch to go talk to a girl",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my friend at lunch to go talk to a girl?
|
This sounds like some high school drama bullshit but whatever I just need to know if I'm in the wrong.
​
So basically my best friend (We'll call him John) and I both have been crushing on this girl (We'll call her Jane) since August. We both are in the same class as her and he originally pointed her out to me. We both are pretty shy guys so nothing has really happened involving her until just recently.
​
I was able to befriend one of Jane's best friends in another one of my classes and she has been helping me get closer to Jane, inviting me to go out to lunch with them next week.
​
When I found out about this I told John as nicely as possible to avoid a humble-brag which he understood and appreciated for me telling him so nicely. He just asked not to be bothered with any more details about it, which I tried my best to do.
​
This is where it gets unfortunate.
I am out at lunch with 3 friends (including John) and I get get a text from Jane's friend saying that Jane has been talking about a recent short film I had presented in class. (John also was in my group for this presentation) They are both eating in her car at school and suggested I come back to join them. I was already at a restaurant with my friends so I just cursed and figured I missed a chance to talk to Jane. When my friends asked what I cursed at I kinda just blew it off as personal, not wanting John to get more upset at the situation.
​
We drive back to school and there is still 10 minutes of lunch left, Jane's friend is still texting me to come to their car to talk to Jane. I know I should take this opportunity but I can't just leave John's car without having to tell him where I'm going, I can't just tell him It's about Jane because he wouldn't want to hear about it, especially in front of our other friends. So instead I decided to ask John to pop the trunk so I can get something out of my bag. He agrees and I walk out of the car, grab my bag and go talk with Jane.
​
He's furious about this, I try to explain what my intentions were but he doesn't want to hear it. He believes none of this would have happened if he hadn't pointed Jane out to me in the first place.
​
So Reddit, AITA?
​
tl;dr: I leave my friends at lunch to go talk with a girl I have a crush on
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ZxtuI3xZLNagE2lg9wv8ikLNoLLRoa6Q
|
b1f28b
|
{
"description": "refusing to get a tattoo of another man's name covered",
"pronormative_score": 190,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA because I refuse to get a tattoo of another man's name covered?
|
My fiance refuses to marry me unless I get it covered. I think this is absolutely absurd because he knew full well all about it and didn't seem to mind, now it's a problem? No, he wasn't a past boyfriend, or anything like that. The man's name I have inked on me was a mentor of sorts and our relationship was strictly platonic. He was more of a father than my own, that was the nature of our relationship. He was a kindly older man who had no children and he helped me get clean. He passed a few years back of a heart attack. As a tribute to him and my recovery, I have his name immortalized on my wrist. I have explained all of this to my fiance and he claimed to understand at the time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 176,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 14,
"INFO": 8
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 190,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
RIGHT
|
IHoBfqHQWoq08S3deltEAh4elafLEssl
|
a04rvk
|
{
"description": "cutting contact with my (now ex) boyfriend after he broke up with me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cutting contact with my (now ex) boyfriend after he broke up with me
|
We dated for almost a year (anniversary on dec 9 :() and recently went on a break so I could work on my anxiety. We’ve had some other bumps in the road which led to me giving him an ultimatum saying that I needed him to decide whether or not he wanted to be with me. I didn’t pressure him into giving me an answer, in fact I told him I would give him all the space and time he needed to make a decision but the same day he told me he wanted to make it work. This was almost 2 weeks ago and so we’ve been back together and now today he just dumped me saying that it didn’t feel right and that he thinks he’s just scared of being alone. Yesterday we were just talking about buying presents for each other and just this week he dropped me off at the airport and was telling me how much he loved me. Obviously I was hurt and pretty pissed bc I felt pretty led on. He said he still cares about me and then he said he still wants to be friends and give me my Christmas present when the time comes. I was in the midst of basically an anxiety attack and told him I never wanted to see him again in a pretty brusque way and blocked him on everything. A mutual friend told me he’s really sad now bc I cut contact and I kinda feel bad but I feel like it’s really unfair of him to want to keep me as a friend when I clearly care so much about him and have just had my heart and future plans crushed. Anyways, am I the asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
xdsdrx8kvXbm0hF00PGrthPWqXc1YJOR
|
an8vrp
| null |
AITA for not want to go to my family’s parties anymore?
|
Before you guys go and start saying I’m the asshole because family is important and whatever, let me give you a lot of background because I feel like this will further help explain why I want to do this. (Also using a different account because family uses reddit but whatever)
So I am the 4th child in my family. Everyone is a year apart in age except me, I’m 6 years away from the second youngest. I love my mom. She supported me up to a certain age, and I respect and love her for that. It’s my dad that still haunts me to this day, and the main reason y I don’t want to go to family parties anymore.
My dad and mom both worked, but my dad made a significant amount more than my mother. The thing that sucked was he would buy whatever my other siblings wanted for them, but I never go to experience that. They all were able to have their own Xbox’s, Tv, whatever phone they wanted, but I never really had that type of life. He also saved up and paid 3/4 of their tuition for college. My mother was the only reason I actually experienced a Christmas. I didn’t know this until recently, but my mom would buy me my gifts (even though she made much less than my dad) and my dad and mom would also buy for the other three.
Around the age of twelve, I started getting abused by my dad. Whenever I would have bad grades, or mess up during soccer games, or after complaining about chores (I would typically do the majority of chores), I would get hit. My mom would always get in a fight with him over it, and he eventually started hitting her whenever she would defend me. After seeing enough and hearing her cry whenever she would stick up for me. I went up to my mom and told her I want her to stop sticking up for me, that I will be fine on my own.
When I was 16, I met my wife, and meeting her was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Her dad had 2 daughters, and he always wanted a son. Since I never really learned anything about tools and and stuff like that, he taught me a lot of the stuff I still use today, and I will forever be grateful for him teaching me everything I know and still use today.
I was able to move out at the age of 18, I received a near full ride to Purdue to receive my masters, and maintain a relationship with my current wife. This was also when I first bought my own car, phone, and other things I wasn’t able to have in the past.
Now at the age of 25 and making approx 120k a year, I do not want to go to my family functions anymore. My other siblings are pressuring me to go and they with that they were raised the same way I was because “ I was raised the way I was so I could become very successful in life”, but they do not know what I experienced and what I had to go through so I don’t think they should be allowed to make these claims. AITA for not wanting to go? The only main reason why I feel like I might be the asshole is because my mother went through so much for me. I want to be able to see her again, without having the fear of seeing my dad again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fj5lwLsncBla9svrKTCtocqYz9AQmk9Y
|
b1xne1
|
{
"description": "ratting two people out for cheating on a final exam",
"pronormative_score": 210,
"contranormative_score": 33
}
|
AITA for ratting two people out for cheating on a final exam?
|
Yesterday, I took a final exam for one of my courses (this is university btw) and I looked up to check the clock to see how much time I had left when I noticed the guy next to me had notecards underneath his test. Moments later, he poked his friend's back, who happened to be sitting in the seat in front of them, and leaned over their shoulder to see their test.
This exam was brutal and if they happened to do well then they could've messed up the curve for the entire class (which is only about 30 students). So I wrote a note on my test saying what was going on and asked my professor if I could go to the restroom. I gave her my test for safekeeping and pointed it out. She nodded and I went to the bathroom (I actually did have to go).
When I came back, she handed me my test where she had written that she'll take care of it. She was watching them for the rest of the class and eventually caught them in the act. She confiscated their tests and took them outside. They did not return.
Now some of my friends are telling me that I did the right thing because they were stupid for trying to cheat on a final in college while some of them are saying that it was wrong of me because school is difficult. Also cheating results in automatic failure in this class.
TLDR: Noticed two people were cheating, told the professor in a ninja manner, and possibly made them failed the class.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 208,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 210,
"WRONG": 33
}
|
RIGHT
|
U9Jti4WNAf6zLLavPBoujdDfVEXb8y5m
|
b7gbvq
|
{
"description": "leaving the lowest possibe tip for food delivery",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for leaving the lowest possibe tip for food delivery?
|
Not 30 minutes ago, I ordered some food through an app like Uber Eats. I listed my items in a clear manner, and made sure to be *really* specific, as to make it NEAR IMPOSSIBLE to get my order wrong.
Anyway, all was going okay, until I realized she was already in route with my items, and I never heard a peep from her since ordering. About 95% of the time, I get a text message with updates from the driver. It helps me know whats going on, lets me be ready for them, and *also lets me know if something is up with the order.*
She texts me that she is here, even though that there are clear instructions to deliver to door. I checked the picture of the reciept *which showed only the lower half*.
By looking at what little I saw, I already knew a few things. Half of my order was incorrect. I asked for a Thai milk tea with tapioca pearls, I recieved a Panda milk tea that was a green tea based. *Believe me I frequent this place. And I would have today not barring car repairs. And that is really hard to get wrong.* If they were out (which is common) she should have said something before winging it, at least, I think so. And my sauces were incorrect and in poor shape. I could also tell that she went through the drive though, just by the way that particular reciept is printed.
So she parks at my place, and THEN, I hear from her. She doesn't want to come up. Every other driver has, unless the automatic doors locked. Which they lock at 6. It was 3:50. (In hindsight, they WERE IN FACT locked. Which is really *really* weird.) But, she didn't leave her car. I politely asked if can she deliver it to the door, as I was pretty busy working on something.
"There is no parking." Utter BS. There are two parallel parking areas, and less than 50 feet from those AND the lobby doors, is a full parking lot that doesn't tow unless your car has been there for more than 6 hours.
So, now I was lied to and the order was wrong.
So I put on a smile, walked down the stairs, and got my food. She also *threw away the reciept right in front of me* when that is supposed to be given to me (app policy). I say thanks, walk back up, leave one star, and lower the tip *as much as possible.* Still had to give one, but odds are she broke even with that tip if not barely.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
oQWmb3VJqs3QvlXU5TIrn6v9R5fciz7i
|
ay7sev
|
{
"description": "wanting to get another dog",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wanting to get another dog
|
A little backstory about 1 year ago me and my family adopted a loveable rescue from our nearest shelter unfortunately he has some problems.
So as stated my family adopted a dog and he has problems which are barking at other dogs not in a vicious way but just in a way of saying hello to dogs that he cannot greet in the usual way and he also doesn't like being left home alone for too long.
So AITA for wanting to get another dog if I think it will help with these problems?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
GnIm5cD55aNqNiY2ithBBRA6237WX2ij
|
avizqk
|
{
"description": "assuming someone was being racist to me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for assuming someone was being racist to me?
|
I work as a lifeguard at a private community centre. We had a regular come in the evenings and we would often talk about hockey and just sports in general. The community centre is mostly used by middle aged to retired Caucasian people.
One day we were discussing Superstars like McDavid,Matthews, Crosby, etc. he was saying how they were probably scouted as a young kid and how they're fantastic. Then he said "just like how you would have probably been scouted for soccer(points at co-worker) and you at computer games(points at me)" While he was pointing at me he was laughing as he said it. He then jumped into the pool without letting me respond.
I felt very offended that he would assume I played computer games and that I would be scouted for them. I called him out and said I don't like how he said that I would be good at video games because I'm Chinese. He got defensive and questioned why I would think that saying that I am young and assumed I played them. However, my coworker who was similar aged yet different ethnically would not get scouted for computer games?
From then on, he doesn't really talk to me anymore, and mostly just talks to the other lifeguard. In my opinion, it felt like he was associating being Chinese with being good at computer games.
for context, I am a american born Chinese person, and he was a retired Caucasian man, and my co-worker was a bigger caucasian male.
Am I overreacting and am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
viCj7MOCINFp1NdHd4ftsWKPR0b7qGpc
|
9vlb6p
|
{
"description": "refusing a girl my notes",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing a girl my notes?
|
I'm not that organized as a person, but I started a Google Doc where I recorded all the notes that we took as a class. Now if you knew me, you'd know that I'm not the biggest asshole on the planet, in fact, I usually try to make the morally right choice when it comes to making decisions. However, I have a low tolerance for people that mooch off of other people. This belief was very much suppressed though, because I typically choose to help other people over myself, and I always found myself giving my friends answers to tests, quizzes, and homework.
Now, to the point. In my Biology class, I sit next to a girl who is bad news. She gets wasted every Friday, has no life goals, and wants to drop out of school next year. Her choice, I'm not the one to mold her, but I'm not going to stand for people who have no goals or motives in their life and want to be lazy and unproductive. She never focuses in class. She always has her Airpods in, on some website while we're taking notes. I'm always on my Doc with everything all neat and shit. She's not paying attention at all. Occasionally after classes, I tell her that I kind of want her to focus more so that she doesn't have to keep asking me for shit, but she never does because she simply doesn't care.
Now, we had a big test coming up over everything in quarter one. She asked me for my notes. I say "No, sorry. I'm sick of giving you everything. I'm not going to be your crutch throughout the year. I'm not gonna deal with you not focusing in class. If you want the notes, you should have paid attention." She responded with an answer somewhere along the lines of "Ok asshole, I'll find someone else". She was obviously annoyed because she's used to being handed everything from me. I'm friends with her, but I wasn't going to just give her what she wanted if she didn't focus in class.
Her friend approached me after we took the test (that she failed) and called me a dick for not helping her out. I told her that she needs to focus in class, but I'm sorry. I feel guilty now. She is bad news but she obviously has problems, and I was just trying to be firm. Now I feel like the bad person. Am I the asshole?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
SujSAqiZD1lVncIlpPTxOsOAZ4GW97U9
|
amyvu4
|
{
"description": "not wanting any contact with my mum's brother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting any contact with my mum’s brother?
|
(Sorry this is quite long) Some back story- my mom is really ill, needs near-constant medical care. We live in a different country from her family where the medical facilities are better. For this reason, she usually goes to live with her family for months at a time to get treatment, meet with doctors. Because my dad and I both have corporate jobs, we can’t always go with her. But we do fly with her to drop her off and to bring her home.
My maternal uncle is not a nice man, he’s abusive towards his family and kids
and towards the larger family and has picked fights with everyone at one point or the other. One time he hit one of cousins because she “talked back”. Everyone hates each other in this family, but they continue to behave as if everything is normal and they all get along. That said he’s always been there for my mum to support her emotionally and she has an intense soft spot for him because he’s the only brother in a family of three sisters.
Over the last few years, my maternal uncle has become quite aggressive with my dad. He constantly belittles him and says nasty things to him. He doesn’t say anything because he thinks it’ll upset my mom, and make her sicker. And he continues to maintain civil contact with her family. IMO my mom also doesn’t say anything to her family or her brother for what I consider severe disrespect to my dad. This is a big sticking point for me.
Earlier this year, he and I got into a fight after he called my dad a coward for leaving my mom in “their” house for months and running away from her care (it’s a house my dad owns in that country but because of mom he lets her family live there). Wtf, where does he think the money for her care comes from?? My dad was really upset. That was the last straw for me.
I have since refused to speak with my uncle. My mom knows why, and my uncle knows why, but she constantly pushes me to speak with him. Recently, she got really sad and said to me that she may not have much time left in this world and she wants all her loved ones to get along. She pointed out that my uncle has been behaved with all my cousins and her other sisters but they still maintain contact with him so why can’t I. He’s family after all.
AITA for not wanting to maintain contact with someone I consider a toxic person?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
TrwxuvWAv0Noi9BTCLeN2pGi4XuyfAX6
|
acw85c
|
{
"description": "being a pushover on information about a girl Im dating for 2 months now, not even knowing where she lives exactly",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being a pushover on information about a girl im dating for 2 months now, not even knowing where she lives exactly.
|
So I'm (m25) dating this girl(f24) and we are(were??) really into each other (after 1 month she told me she never could imagine getting such strong feelings for a person in such short amount of time) but for the last 3 weeks she's distancing herself from me more and more like avoiding kisses and cuddles. Not telling me details about anything.
Here are some examples:
\-She never mentions names of her friends
\-She always is at my place because she recently moved back to her parents and is embarrased about this situation even though I said it's totally fine she's in a bad situation right now things happen
\-She didn't tell me the adress yet and doesn't want me to come over, not for helping her moving nor for just meeting
\-At for 1 1/2 month we wrote every day the whole day (i know it gets less over time) but from one to another day she barely wrote anything anymore. Short sentenced, no smileys.
\-Since that time she's always at her phone, covering it up on purpose so i can't see (which i really don't want to, normally i trust people really easily but it's just really conspicious)
\-We havn't had Sex in those 3 weeks now (before it was every time she was here which is 1-2 times a week) and i know it gets less but not in that short amount of time. Don't get me wrong i don't like her because we have sex but it'
s just another thing that makes me think about all that. She said in the first week she's on her period... Okay.
7 days later.... she said she's on her period again she has just a weird cycle "every 2 weeks" she said and i said "uhh that's one week but yeah it's alright" ... Ok
​
At first i thought, yeah I'm a new person she met and you don't instantly tell others everything about yourself because there are enough psychos out there but it's 2 months by now and I can name numerous other questionable situations. I'm not a jealous person at all, I'm not a controlling person i really respect her privacy but i can't bear all those "secrets" anymore, Uncertainty is the only thing i can't stand. Really i would be fine with anything even if she met another one, i would end it and it's fine ...but like this my mind is going round and round about it.
I spoke to her once that all started and she said that she's just a person who doesn't want to call everything out. But dating a girl for 2 months not knowing a thing about her social environment or even where she lives? She already met my friends and even my parents last week.
Now i told her that i needed to speak to her but since 4 days now she doesn't have the time and I'm asking every day again... She's got always a different excuse (even though i don't like to say excuse when i don't know for sure), next week is her birthday where we wanted to have dinner together and i wanted to talk to her before.
So here I am... I hate to be annoying and i hate overpushers myself but I don't know what to do
sry for my bad english.
​
tl;dr: girl im dating for 2 months has many secrets or questionable situations, i'm overpushing her for meeting and talking about it cause next week is her b-day
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
QBrSEwNReDwo1YAUtcjZktSzAQhI9juO
|
axoa75
|
{
"description": "eating bf's slim Jim's",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for eating bf’s slim Jim’s?
|
My bf is a little chubby. Lately he’s been trying out this new diet. He’s only allowed to eat meat and veggies.
We share grocery costs. He has started getting this 200 box of slim Jim’s. He eats them all the time. Usually takes a shit ton of them for work for his lunch.
Last night I was starving and there the box was. We share grocery costs so I didn’t think it was a big deal to have one. The problem was it wasn’t one. Those things are addictive as fuck. I ended up eating almost all of them. He was left with 3 and it was too late to go to Costco to get another box.
He was mad at me because now he only had 3 for lunch today. A lot of our food isn’t friendly to his new diet. I feel bad, but I pay for half of the groceries, shouldn’t I get to eat everything that we buy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
WSXRCkyIbuHRJHdiMorJzopyvy0LcjwP
|
aiqu11
|
{
"description": "thinking my GF cheated on me based of a dream",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for thinking my GF cheated on me based of a dream?
|
I know I sound like a pussy but let me explain my concern. I have been dating this person for 4 months now and met her at my Home country. She stayed for 3 months and we officially set the "relationship" tag. When she moved back to her home country (which is really far away). She has been going out to clubs and bars, being completely drunk all the time. She always used to message me during these events telling me "How boring it became without me and she doesn't enjoy it that much anymore" or just asking me how I am. Lately though when she goes out with friends, she doesn't tell me neither messages me but I can always see on her status how she is hanging out with her friends. Today she told me about a weird dream where she had twins. After I asked what happened in the dream she told me the whole dream, where she slept with "this other guy" at the bar in a room.
Anyways I have this suspicion, that she actually cheated on me and either doesn't want to tell me directly or I am actually paranoid about nothing. AITA for thinking she cheated on me?
PS: Should I ask her or just be patient?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
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|
aidm6e
|
{
"description": "disregarding my dad",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for disregarding my dad?
|
Throwaway account, so, yeah.
Today was my birthday. I just got two calls from my dad I sent to voicemail.
It's depressing. Really depressing. I hear my kid siblings in the background, and nobody sounds happy. My dad is at the front, sounding at best, bored. And I get left with a sick pit in my stomach.
I haven't heard from my dad in two years, except for 3 seperate occasions.
1.) A week before I shipped to Basic Training
2.) When I got kicked out for lying on my med records
3.) When I got shot in the calf in a range accident last April.
And then this voicemail. So, four? Nah.
All these conversations were over the phone, it was all on my inititave. And before you ask, no questions on the military, please.
So,
He didn't want me in the military, and neither did ma, both were pissed, and dad quit talking.
All 20 letters in Basic went unanswered, and the 18 phone calls over christmas leave did too. I didn't try to call when the red cross got me home for a few days for my grandma's funeral, cause I figured it didn't matter.
Then a whole truckload of shit started, and bam, discharge, 5-11, I'm a schmoe on the streets in a week. I call him from a cousin's phone, he picks up, and I rell him I got the boot.
"Oh, that sucks."
Then I get popped in the leg. Non life treatening, so I get sent home that night. I call my dad up, and again,
"Oh, that sucks."
Click, dialtone, telling me "fuck yaself." So, I fuck off. I quit trying.
Keep in mind, all this time, I live with my ma, because I only last November got a good-paying job. Since early 2018, when I got out. So, I can tell who cares, and who don't.
But then this asshole calls, and I send his 1/64th cherokee ass to voicemail. And I feel like a dick.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HmPf3JBLlfYH8ykKFpwMD1lvWHJuFqbs
|
asjjlw
|
{
"description": "not letting my girlfriend read my journal",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting my girlfriend read my journal?
|
My girlfriend and I have been on pretty rocky footing since we started dating a little over a month ago (we were best friends for a year before dating). As a little bit of background, she struggles really badly with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. It's been getting worse and worse over the past couple of months and she thinks about suicide almost daily. She hasn't been eating, she's been skipping classes almost every day, and she calls out from work because she can't leave her apartment most of the time. She's told me her depression has never felt like this before and she seems completely hopeless in facing it.
Two days ago we had a particularly bad day when she overdosed on her anxiety medication and ended up in the hospital. Since it was an overdose she had to go to the psych hospital connected to this hospital to see if she needed to stay there for a while.
By the time we got sent to the psych hospital for her to get a psychiatric evaluation, she was ready to go home. We were in the regular hospital for about 8 hours by then. She acted incredibly rudely to all the hospital workers and was almost at a point of breaking mentally. She and I got into an argument in the waiting room because she told me that if I didn't lie to the psychiatrist and tell them that she was mentally stable (she isn't right now) that she would break up with me on the spot. She said "fuck you" twice and gave me the one breakup threat, saying I would be dead to her and she'd consider me the worst person who had ever been in her life.
So when the psychiatrist took me back I told her that my girlfriend had not expressed a desire to stop living (a lie), she had not told me she actively wanted to end her life (a lie- I've literally been worried about her dying from suicide almost daily for a month), and that I thought she wouldn't be a danger to herself (another lie). I felt extremely manipulated and I felt like she was making me subvert the next step in helping her depression that's resisting all treatments so far (antidepressants and therapy).
I wrote a really cathartic entry in my journal right after this to release all these negative emotions on paper and not onto another person, but she knows I keep a journal. I wrote a journal entry that's showing negativity toward her, she found out about it, and she just walked out of my house because I wouldn't let her read it. It says some really scathing things, like that she was being manipulative and acted like a bitch to every psych hospital worker who tried to talk to her. Basically if she read what I wrote in my journal that I was feeling that night (feelings I've really gotten over by now), it would make her incredibly unhappy.
I understand communication is key in relationships, but AITI for not letting my girlfriend read an entry I wrote in my private journal after our visit to the hospital?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
JOqeK8jo1Gt1bmXCdOwfDPpNMgEm4nVU
|
a97pgz
|
{
"description": "wanting to \"end\" things with my high school best friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to “end” things with my high school best friend
|
Ok so this is kinda a long story. There’s this girl that I’ve know for over ten years, we became friends in elementary school and are both in college rn.
I guess I’d say she’s my best friend from high school but that’s changed — at least in my eyes now. Basically since like the end of high school and up to now (the first semester of second year in college) I’ve just been getting more and more frustrated at her.
First it started with her always copying me. And yes Ik the quote “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” but this shit is just too annoying. And yes also I know the idea that everyone copies someone else so my ideas that I think are “original” actually aren’t. But I’m not claiming that all the things I do are original it’s just very blatant she copies me in just so many things.
Apart from that, she’s dabbled in tinder, ok not dabbled but like just delved into it which I’m fine with no judgement from that aspect. It’s just that when she started college, she started this trend of hooking up with guys, feeling shitty about it and regretting it immediately, then recovering and saying she just need to fuck a hotter guy.
I try comforting her and giving her he advice of like maybe you don’t have to fuck every guy who you see at a party *jokes I said it nicer than that trust me* but then she just does it over and over again. And it’s gotten to the point where she’s woken up and texted me that she doesn’t know if she’s fucked this guy or not which I think is pretty troubling idk about you.
There’s been alot of those instances and dealing with her parents who’ve found out about her hookups and smoking n drinking stuff. I try to give her advice but all she does is continue to complain and not do a single thing about it.
Anyways thats just a couple of the aspects and then just recently this happened. Basically one of the things she copied me by doing is making a fitness account/fitsta whatever you call it. And I know she made it bc I did bc she told me to my face. And since she followed it in the beginning, I’ve lowkey removed her from my followers bc it’s just better for me mentally and shit I can’t fully explain it but I’m more comfortable if she isn’t following me on it. I’ve done that a total of two times.
But just recently she followed me again and I’ve just started telling things straight up to her and texted her asking if she wouldn’t follow it and made up some bs excuse as to why instead if saying “it’s bc I specifically don’t want YOU to”. And since then she’s iced me out and hasn’t replied to me on anything.
So basically, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
m0rrIWBxGiBqaaDwNX4DMYvo1wjezmys
|
alxsz5
|
{
"description": "blowing up at this kid who has been annoying me for years",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for blowing up at this kid who has been annoying me for years?
|
This kid has been annoying me for years.
He has made suggestive comments, offensive jokes, and has invaded my personal space too many times to count. There isn’t much I can do to avoid him as we’re in the same grade and on the same alpine race team. I’m the past I have been nice because he is socially awkward and people make fun of home but now I make it a point to ignore him whenever possible. But he follows me around and often cuts lines in order to be my chair-lift buddy.
He is known for making a lot of noise, getting hyped and rowdy before races, during practice, during class, I could go on. I’m not an introvert by any means but I don’t tend to get overly exited. My philosophy is simple. Have a certain thing you focus on for that practice and use the time on the lift to plan your run. When you get excited you get sloppy. Apparently he has a problem with that because he is constantly trying to hype me up and get me excited for the next run. He is constantly offering advice I did not ask for and acting as if said advice is gold.
Now I’ve dealt with this kid for years as I said and I have never blown up, only respectfully disagreed with his ideas and told him not to make such problematic comments, but a few nights ago I snapped. I was having a shitty day. Botched presentation, dead car battery, broken pole and this guys nagging sure as hell didn’t help. I basically yelled at him in front of the lift operators and at least 50 other racers and ski school kids.
Something along the lines of, “I don’t need your help, I never asked for your advice, give me some godamn peace and quiet. You’ve crossed the line too many times, let me be, go hype up somebody else.”
He looked kinda hurt by what I said (I would too if someone said it to me). He left me alone for the rest of practice and hasn’t really talked to me since. Several witnesses who have had to deal with him in the past told me he had it coming but I feel like an ass. I’ve been debating apologizing but I like being left alone and I’m afraid he’s gonna think we’re friends if I do.
Tell me reddit gods and goddesses, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
59BWnmGux0z0BAHsfLO1f1CCJWldyVxE
|
aey6au
|
{
"description": "asking reddit if my bf r*ped me? kinda tw",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for asking reddit if my bf r*ped me? Kinda tw
|
soooooo this was ages ago but I still don't get it. My boyfriend (now ex boyfriend...) and I had a HUGE argument that led to him dumping me and literally never speaking to me again. This was because he found out I had posted to r/ relationships and asked if the first time we had sex was rape or not. He somehow found my account and found the post and confronted me about it, I admitted it was me.
My intention for doing this wasn't to "falsely accused him of rape" as he says I was doing. I was genuinely confused because when the situation I asked for advice about happened, I was 16 and had never done anything sexual. Basically I was crying and trying to break up with him and he started doing sexual stuff. I did say yes at first but after I felt so bad because I didn't know my first time would involve a bunch of rough sex and face slapping choking, degrading names etc etc. (more things, won't go too in depth) I did say that it hurt but didn't say no.
He says that I'm trying to get him to be the bad guy and that I have a victim mentality. He said I was an asshole psychopath out to get him and that he was gonna stay the fuck away from me.
I had tried to bring it up to him but he didn't wanna discuss it, that's why I posted about it online instead.
Was I being asshole-ish...?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 31,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Y1QvSSBCGL5zVUfvHDMyx8ZDowTrpOHc
|
apmnyu
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend that fatherhood and motherhood are fundamentally different",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 166
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend that fatherhood and motherhood are fundamentally different?
|
This argument started when my girlfriend and I were laying out our plans for the future, and according to her, she's now rethinking having a future with me at all. I think she's not understanding what I'm saying or is naive about parenthood.
I told her that there's no way when we have children that we will be able to split the load completely evenly. There are biological components to motherhood that come into play, like maternal instincts and post partum bonding and such, that require the mother to spend more time with the child immediately after birth. Additionally, because of this, it is often more likely feasible for the mother to stay home or at least be the primary parent for the child, in addition to economic factors that usually result in the man being the breadwinner and the woman being the primary parent. Thus, odds are, she will be the primary parent for our children for a variety of reasons, and there is no way we will be able to have a completely equal split.
She told me she will not have a child with a man who does not agree to split the work evenly, while I am arguing that it is not possible, particularly right after birth but also down the line. She is reconsidering our relationship now and I need to know if I'm being the asshole or being logical.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 164,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 5
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 28,
"WRONG": 166
}
|
WRONG
|
z9XS9NMd8vm5FtcIyDu9jV8kbUkHoWuO
|
a6pxkp
|
{
"description": "browsing through my (now ex) girlfriend discussion board",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: Browsing through my (now ex) girlfriend discussion board?
|
The story is quite long. She is attending at a discussion board where is chatting about her interests with her Interweb friends. Of course, I see nothing wrong with that - everyone has friends on the Web, it's XXI century.
But for some time I was realizing a thing - she was sometimes confessing there when we had an argument or something similiar. I'd be fine with that if she had balls to confront it with me first insead of confessing on the dicussion board. All the time I had to bring up the argument if we wanted to resolve it, otherwise she were just complaining about me there.
I was not mad when I found out. I just asked why she was doing so and instead of explanation she accused me that I'm spying on her. It's ridicolous statement, as she was posting that on **public** website, where **everyone** can browse through without even registering. So how I was spying on her?
What's better she kept complaining about me instead of bringing the issues to me. I was the last person to know that there is an issue needed to resolve.
So AITA for checking out the discussion board when I felt that something is wrong? I know that I should ask, but she kept insisting that everything is all right.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
O5Dbbr5dwvf5tGslqqyKzNHTkVmD0UBB
|
9wh2r6
|
{
"description": "being skeptical of medical products from Latin America",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being skeptical of medical products from Latin America?
|
My SO has always preferred goods from her home country/latin america. It's not a problem when it's clothing, food, media, etc. However she also orders medical products that are not available in our country. Today she wanted to order a feminine medical product making all types of claims that costs $100 USD. She shows me 3 instagram posts (~1 min) where 'famous' instagamers 'review' the product. To me it sounded like a poorly veiled paid sponsorship. You can only order the product via DMs in Whatsapp (as is tradition in latin america). I check the website and it's literally 2 pages with a home and product page. The reviews are literally whatsapp convos thanking the manufacturer. The packaging is questionable, the ingredients is a bunch of plants, the only recognisable one is aloe vera. I made some jokes and the scepticism was pretty obvious in my face. She was immediately offended and told me she will never talk to me about this type of stuff again. Our country has much more strict testing and guidelines than where she is ordering from. Why is it not sold here? Am I the Asshole by being skeptical and basically calling BS on it? Should I just shut up and support her? Let her use whatever she wants on her body even if the product is sketchy at best?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
848btyLWytt1TGuZQrGFa2cRiIVnjkEa
|
9zwgb4
|
{
"description": "rejecting a guy by telling him that I'm gay",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for rejecting a guy by telling him that I'm gay?
|
Last week my friend (16 M) had invited me (16 F) to go out with friends. In the past, he has asked me out about three times, and I declined all three times due to timing. I agreed to go because I believed that he was no longer interested in me. We have also known each other since about elementary school.
The day before we meet up, he tells me that his friends had plans come up that day and could no longer go. I still agreed to go, since I didn't have plans that day anyway.
Once I get to the restaurant we agreed to meet up at, he offers to pay for my food. I insist that I pay for my own food, but he pays anyway. We then sit down, eat, and catch up on what has been going on in our lives. The conversation is relaxed as usual, however, I started to question what his intentions were after he paid for my food. After we finish eating, I suggest that we go to his house because we had been talking about playing games with his family.
At his house, we play games and continue to talk. He and I were sitting next to each other relatively close because his room was quite small. He suddenly asks me if he can put his arm around me. At first, I was relieved that he asked, but then I started to panic. I didn't know what to do, so I irrationally blurt out, "Actually, I'm gay. Sorry!"
He is obviously confused, and I tell him that I didn't want to tell anyone as I didn't feel ready yet. He was completely understanding. I then tell his brother, whom I am close to as well, that I am gay. They both tell me that I have no reason to apologize for my sexuality. I thank them, and we all continue on with our day.
I want to further explain why saying "I'm gay" was the first thing that came to my mind. I really didn't want to reject him because in my experience, after rejection, I start to blame myself for not being good enough for that person. This guy is extremely kind and there is no specific reason why I didn't have interest in him. I just really didn't want him to pick himself apart because he thought he wasn't good enough; he is perfectly fine the way he is. If he found out the reason he was rejected was out of his control, he wouldn't feel bad.
Of course, it was not okay of me to lie about serious matters such as sexuality, but it happened quickly, and I felt pressured at that moment. My intentions were not to hurt him, since he's an incredibly good friend of mine.
Am I the asshole for rejecting him by saying that I'm gay because I don't want him to beat himself up over it?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
PNGvW8LdBHajpjq4pePtzqjeZ5Xzw1e5
|
b1kcgb
|
{
"description": "asking for a higher pay even though I already agreed to a lower one",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I asked for a higher pay even though I already agreed to a lower one?
|
So about a week ago one of my family friends asked me to take care of her dog and 7 parrots (yes, really) starting this evening and ending Sunday morning. Since I'm an absolute dumbass, I agreed to a pay of $30. For the entire weekend.
Basically I'd be staying the night and feeding her parrots (which are all assholes) in the morning, afternoon, and evening, so a total of 5 times. I'd also walk her dog, but she's an absolute sweetheart and I have no problem with that.
However, once I told my mom about this she was super surpised and told me that pay was abysmal. I kind of agree with her now and I want to ask for a higher pay of maybe $50-$60 for the weekend.
Is that a shitty thing to do or am I justified in asking for a higher pay? Thanks for the advice.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
PmjNWXZNpiXazhjRZBl4o0gk85uZ3IsV
|
avdjar
|
{
"description": "not telling my gf I went to traffic court in july for a speeding ticket",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA because i didnt tell my gf i went to traffic court in july for a speeding ticket?
|
We are not on any insurance together, or even linked together on anything on paper. No idea how she found out, must of went digging online on her own for some reason. She randomly decided to ask me why I didn't tell her about it this morning the second I opened my eyes from my morning alarm. Wanted to know why it seemed like I was hiding it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 6
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
1AcqO5PvJvUYaa5GHJhFcSDTcJW6AE14
|
b9h1qb
|
{
"description": "kissing my friends girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA for kissing my friends girlfriend?
|
Title sounds bad, but let me explain. I (19M) was at a party and my friend (Jacob) and his girlfriend were there. This was the first time I met his girlfriend. Another friend brought some molly for a few of us, this was our first time trying it but we were with a couple people who had done it before. Molly makes you very happy and confident and makes you very affectionate towards people. Jacob, his girlfriend, me and 3 others all took some. We were all talking and it came up how we each lost our virginity. I told them that I was still a virgin and that I had never had a first kiss. Jacob's girlfriend offered to give me my first kiss and I said "no I couldn't do that to Jacob" (who was in this conversation). He said it was fine if I wanted to since it didn't mean anything, so we started making out. Jacob saw the whole thing and kind of congratulated me afterwards.
The next day I was talking to Jacob about the party and said it was funny how I kissed his girlfriend. He had clearly forgotten about it until now and got annoyed. He told me I shouldn't of kissed her and the only reason he said it was okay was because of the molly and alcohol. I said that me and his girlfriend were also on the same drugs as him so he couldn't really blame us if that was his excuse for allowing it. He said it is different and we shouldn't of actually gone through with it even if he did say it was okay.
AITA for kissing his girlfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 11,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 19
}
|
WRONG
|
3EcDVkWeDKrMtMGo83Wvrhr0W9lq2utO
|
axi6xj
|
{
"description": "wanting Kick someone out of our Band",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Wanting Kick Someone Out Of Our Band?
|
I am in a band with some friends and as far as I can tell, 3/5 of us take it seriously, with one other (our bassist) being seemingly a bit less committed and the last (our drummer) who is probably the least committed.
We all seem to enjoy it and at least say we want the band to go somewhere. However, recently we were invited to perform in front of a small but sizeable audience. The 3/5 of us who took it seriously saw this as an opportunity to show what we could do, and although we had 4 weeks to be prepared, we were confident we could pull it off, plus, even our band tutor who teaches us has told us that he thinks we could perform well. This is where it gets complicated.
Our drummer, the person who has been most frustrated with the band not going anywhere, has a habit of not turning up to rehearsals, almost always without any explanation, hence why they are considered the least committed member.
As the lead singer of our group announced to us all that we would have a shot at performing, our bass player said that she thought that we shouldn't perform as we were not ready and needed more time. She also brought up that she was not quite ready to be on stage in front of that many people, which I understand, but we are getting tutoring from our mentor about stage presence and performing comfortably and such. Also, i'd also argue that being on stage is the only way to get better at it.
Being someone who had done numerous types of performances before, I completely understand the worry of a performance being 4 weeks away, BUT we had all been playing with each other for over half a year and were all confident in our ability among each other.
Our drummer agreed with our bassist, despite being the one that was always itching to perform. What infuriates me is that she is the one that says the band will not go anywhere, and she is correct if she continues to NOT SHOW UP.
People who know how bands work will know that we need everyone on board for something like this. Whether our drummer and/or bassist will leave or just not perform with the rest of us, I have no idea, but we have backup people ready if they decide to not to show.
I can understand our bassist point of view, I really can. But our drummer?? SHE is the one who wanted the band to go somewhere and now that it has she doesn't want it. Am I in the wrong for wanting to replace her?
​
TL;DR Drummer and bassist back out of performance opportunity despite wanting it.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Tl76iKK8ao2VQvZv1D0mmZX5HDOEolIP
|
b980pw
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend I don't know what I would do if she was pregnant",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend I don't know what I would do if she was pregnant?
|
So my girlfriend recently had a pregnancy scare . It was awful and she wasn't doing very well even though I reassured her everyday that she wasn't pregnant because I was absolutely sure there was no way it could have happened. It was just a late period. She refused to take a pregnancy test which could have solved things a lot earlier but I digress. Today her period finally came and everything is fine and she was so happy. She asked me what I would've done if she was pregnant and I said I didn't know. She kept pressing me and I just kept telling her I don't know because I truly don't. She asked if I would break up with her in a kind of joking manner and I assured her that would absolutely not happen but I don't know what beyond that. She even said "then think of something quick" and that kind of put me off so I reiterated that I truly don't know what I would do. We're 20 years old. I really truly have absolutely no idea what I would do if she ended up pregnant. For some reason this really pissed her off and she's been upset for the last hour. From my point of view, I feel like there was absolutely no reason to delve into such a serious hypothetical and that we should've just been happy and thankful for the weight being lifted off our shoulders. Am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b1wgok
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{
"description": "not telling my partner if I were to sell pictures of my feet online",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA to not tell my partner if I were to sell pictures of my feet online
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Right, I know it's a bit of a weird situation but I know that I have quite beautiful feet. It's a bit of an annoying part of me to be beautiful, but such is life lol. So I recently found out people pay online for feet pictures and I thought why not, because it's not like normal pictures like that where it could actually like affect me
I haven't actually done it yet, because I feel as though it might greatly upset my partner. I don't think I'd normally worry about this, but my partner actually has a thing for feet which is why i think he may get somewhat saddened or insecure about me doing this
So, WIBTA if I were to do it, and would I be less of an asshole to tell him or to not tell him
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HYPOTHETICAL
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am0gbi
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{
"description": "calling the police on my cleaning lady who I caught stealing money after it was recorded on my baby monitor",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling the police on my cleaning lady who I caught stealing money after it was recorded on my baby monitor?
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She has been coming every other week for almost 3 years. She is like part of our family. The whole thing is pretty devastating. A few months ago my wife asked me if I had taken $200 cash from an envelope in her desk drawer. I didn't take it. She figured that maybe she had just miscounted at some point. Then a month ago another $200 cash went missing. My wife was convinced that it was our house mates boyfriend but I didn't think it was his style at all. Last week we bought a new fancy baby monitor that runs through the wifi and uses a phone app to view and record video. I put money in a drawer within view of the camera which records whenever there is motion. That was a week ago. Today I get this frantic text from my wife asking me if I took any of the money because there was $100 bill missing. That was around 5pm. We reviewed the video clips and our cleaner actually went into the drawer 2 times today and took $100 each time. When went to my mother-in-laws' house, (cleaner works there too) we found out that old silver coins were missing and some valuable diamond jewelry.
We have adored this lady. Our son loves her. She has done great for us. Now I'm just concerned for all of the other people she works for, some of our friends and others I don't know.
She is also an illegal who has been here for 30 years with 4 grown kids.
I could confront her, try to get our money and stuff back, maybe call all her clients to let them know. Or I could just let the police handle it. We don't want to ruin her life but maybe she already has. I just don't know
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HISTORICAL
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ags895
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{
"description": "faking my orgasms and letting my wife think I am trying to get her pregnant? I honestly don't know if I want kids",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 31
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|
AITA for faking my orgasms and letting my wife think I am trying to get her pregnant? I honestly don't know if I want kids (elements of NSFW).
|
I'll keep this short...I love my wife. Like, really, really, really love her. Light of my world, get her flowers on valentines day, watch the bachelor instead of MNF type of love. And I love our life together. We've been married 6 years and she's my Madonna and my Ho and everything in between and I worship the ground the walks on.
She wants a baby bad. I can't stand disappointing her so I wasn't honest and said I did too. The truth is I like what we do, I like our time, I like our money, I like taking trips on a whim and I enjoy watching her sexy ass as I belay her during rock climbing. I can't imagine any of this happening with a little rug rat running around.
For the last several months I pretend to have an orgasm and then quickly go into the bathroom and finish myself off. I even faked having a UTI and faked having doctors instructions that I needed to urinate immediately after sex in order to facilitate my ruse. She even checks herself every time and I guess she (NSFW) can't tell the difference between her natural moisture and what I'm supposed to leaving behind.
I've even let it go so far as to get us both checked out by fertility specialists who haven't found anything wrong (naturally I suppose). I keep "trying" and she keeps crying every month when her period comes. I've dug myself so fucking deep I don't know how to get out.
r/AITA...AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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9zkekl
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{
"description": "telling my dad to f*ck off",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for telling my dad to f*ck off?
|
Okay, okay. Maybe that's a bit of an extreme title but it is what I said. Here's what happened:
I'm a 15 year old who lives with his dad. My mom has been gone for years but I do see her sometimes still. What happened moments ago was I asked my dad for space and to fuck off. Recently, I've been fed up with him and even having multiple breakdowns in private. He would burst into my room at random times just to tell me things I did wrong earlier. It ranges from minor stuff like accidentally leaving grains of rice on the table to being on the computer for too long at a time (which in itself is reasonable) but this is where things take a turn. What usually ends up happening is whatever he says spirals out of control into how my grades are fluctuating to me rotting my brain to the internet and even how the internet is my only God (which isn't true at all). Today was different. He was asking about why I was missing period 3 of school today. I explained to him that I had a business club meeting (ironic since I hate big businesses and their bullshit but this isn't a communist manifesto) during lunch. The meeting ended about 10 minutes before 3rd period bell rang so I hurried over to Subway, got food and came back. Unfortunately, I ended up being about 5 minutes late. I have a feeling my teacher had me marked absent and forgot to change it back since he was teaching about drill press safety when I returned so I guess I'll ask him to correct it tomorrow. You'd think he'd accept that explanation. And you'd be damn wrong. He went off on how I should have gone to the school cafeteria even though I made it clear I wouldn't go there since it's overpriced and won't fill me up but he wasn't having any of it. He goes onto say a bunch of random shit that I didn't hear as I had my earphones on. It happens so often that it's what I do. He then proceeded to rip off my earphones and tells me that I'm a selfish, self-centered person who is incapable of taking criticism. I actually had it at that point because there was literally no reason to say that. I dedicate a lot of my time to events around Toronto (not just because it's a diploma requirement but because I actually enjoy it). It was just very insulting to me so I went off. I told him how he was an asshole who didn't have the capacity to listen to anything I said (The best example of that being that I never ate in the mornings until I was placed on meds that helped cut stomach acid. He always said it was because my sleep schedule was bad and I was always on my phone. I told him it was because I was always nauseous in the morning. The doctor debunked my dad's BS on a visit days ago and said I had stomach reflexes at night which caused acid issues or something along those lines. After it was prescribed to me, he asked why I never tell him these things even things and pointed this out. He told me not to fight with him in public.), told him he had nothing better to do than bother me. We had a few exchanges, mostly him taunting me into hitting him (I have anger issues and have lashed out before at other people when they've really pissed me off). I finally told him to fuck off and give me space. He called me an asshole for swearing at him (In his words: "How could you swear at your own father?" and referred to a bible verse). I gave him the middle finger and he tried to hit me until I had to push him out of my door, yell at him to fuck off and not to annoy me for once. He walked away after 5 minutes of that byt not ve called me an asshole.
Now, since he called me an asshole I had to ask if I truly was being one. My behaviour was pretty bad but I need to know. Also, I apologize for my repetition of certain words and general untidyness.
tl;dr: I got fed up with him because he called me self-centered and selfish as well as always coming into my room for no reason and asked for space. And to fuck off of course.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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b8m1ow
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{
"description": "telling my in laws that I dont want their dogs around my toddler",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my in laws that I dont want their dogs around my toddler?
|
My in-laws are crazy about their dogs. They all have big dogs who all jump and nip at hands when you arrive at their houses. I was uncomfortable with them before I got pregnant, then they badly bruised my thighs from jumping and scratching when I was pregnant. I was told when my son was born that the largest dog does not like anything to be carried infront of him, he feels threatened.
Since my son arrived, they have kept their dogs locked up for our visits, for the most part and this is on their own accord. A few weeks back, the largest dog was let out in the backyard and managed to scratch my son whilst my mother in law was playing on the grass with him. There have been several other occasions where they have allowed the dogs to lick my son and get excited over him. I am very uncomfortable with dogs licking in general.
My son gets babysat by my in-laws once a week whilst I'm at work. I am quite upset that they have been introducing my son to these dogs without even speaking to me or my partner. My partner is not overly fazed by these dogs, even though he knows them as little as I do. He thinks I'm overreacting and thinks I'm just scared as they are of the Bully breed. He just tells me to relax because they're known to be good around children. My issue is the sheer weight and nipping from the dogs.
I myself have a dog who has never caused a fuss over the baby, but I still don't trust my dog around my child. I was bitten as a child and I am just so uncomfortable around my in law's dogs in general.
I told them I am uncomfortable with the situation and they said that the dogs are actually really big softies and wouldn't hurt children
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aukv9e
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{
"description": "saying that my female cousin's shoulders seem broader with shorter hair",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for saying that my female cousin's shoulders seem broader with shorter hair?
|
So, this just literally happens moments ago. Backstory: I am living in another country with my relatives and so know little of them relative to their friends. My female cousin (FC) who's about the same age as me was growing her hair for donation but I didn't know when she would do it.
So, I was about to go shower when I noticed FC had returned home from her work and I, for a split second, thought she was another person because I'm so used to her long hair. I also noticed that her shoulders seemed broader because of her shorter hair but I didn't think literally anything of it. So I just say hi and go shower.
After my shower, I asked FC if she had a regular haircut or if she donated her hair. She said that she donated her hair. Then I accidentally blurted out that her shoulders seemed broader because of her shorter hair. Now I didn't think of it as a compliment, a sarcastic comment or a critic, just something I saw earlier and just said it like that without anything in mind.
Cue a few seconds of silence. She then asked if that was a compliment. Taken a bit aback and I stuttered a bit, saying : "Err..I'm sorry..if you..didn't take it as one." Another few seconds of silence before she said "oookay" with kinda a disgusted look on her face now that I think about it.
Thinking nothing of it, I went back to my room, then went to fill my water bottle. The kitchen is next to the dining table with no walls or door, you get the picture. My aunt (A) was in the kitchen with her other daughter (FC2) on the kitchen bench with an old photo while FC was near the sink. So I take the long way around to look at the photo and FC just angrily told me that she didn't appreciate what I said earlier (her shoulders seeming broader) and that she was offended, her face matching her emotions, basically being upset. Now I say that I'm sorry if that offended her while A and FC2 just stares in disbelief, or stand still, shocked at the situation.
I try to deescalate the situation, saying that I'm sorry if that offended her, but to no avail and FC goes back to her room pissed. A enquires about the situation and basically gets lectured by her and a bit by FC2. I truly am sorry, don't get me wrong. I'm used to basically get in trouble for mostly anything I say but I was surprised by this and I feel like FC overreacted.
So, here's my question: Am I in the wong here? I know FC had the right to be upset but did she overreacted to what I said?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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a8FCDXlWoefOmvKKFsZIFhVG5KTgeort
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aw5o13
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{
"description": "saying bad things about someone else's paper",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for saying bad things about someone else's paper?
|
I am in a class in university that consists of only juniors and seniors. In this class, I sit in the second row all the way to the left. It being a higher level class that doesn't always take attendance, many people decide not to show up to class, so there are often empty seats around me. However, I always sit next to my friend and there is always someone sitting in front of me.
An assignment for the class is to write an Op-Ed, basically a short opinionated article. As part of the assignment, everyone in the class was randomly assigned two others to peer review their article.
Of the two I was assigned, one was pretty good. They had a few grammatical errors and their points were a little confusing at times, but overall decent. I also didn't know too much about their topic to begin with.
The second one I reviewed was a train wreck at best. There were so many grammatical errors that I couldn't even read through the paper once without having to make corrections. Their sentence structure was so bad that I had to stop and try to parce out what it was supposed to say. I also knew a lot about this topic since I had written a paper on it a semester ago. They had the basic idea about the topic, but they left out a huge part of it that was really important to their point they were making. All of that I left in my review that had my name attached to it online, but I didn't know who the person really was.
As class was ending the other day, my friend and I's conversation drifted to the Op-Eds that we had reviewed as people were packing up to leave. It turns out that he had looked at the first one I reviewed for fun and he had liked it as well. The other one he reviewed had some issues, but was ok overall. I told him about the topic that my second reviewed Op-Ed was about and what the person had left out. I reffered to the grammatical errors and bad sentence structure as a "hot mess" as I complained.
I started to hear someone near me saying "hey" to get my attention and I looked up at the person who sat right in front of me. They informed me that I was talking about their paper and then walked away. My friend and I got real quiet and he gave me a 'you really screwed up now' face. I said that I stand by what I said, since basically all the things I mentioned were in my review online that had my name attached to it anyway.
Now I'm not sure if I should feel bad about trash talking someone's paper and them calling me out for it.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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hSuMxakBfaZdbIMzdKZUdFCu0WKyQb2q
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b8zysc
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{
"description": "asking to use refunded money towards something else",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking to use refunded money towards something else?
|
My wife and I had our honeymoon paid for by my parents as a wedding gift. We were supposed to board the ship this Sunday, 4/7. Sadly, the ship was damaged by a crane during repairs yesterday and the cruise line had to cancel our trip. They gave us 100% refund and a 100% face value voucher for another cruise. We rent a home currently and have been trying to save for our own home. I asked my father if we could use the refunded money towards a down payment on a house and use the voucher for the honeymoon cruise. He laughed at me and my wife even said “I can’t believe you asked that” when I hung up. I don’t think it was rude or outrageous. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9yp2nd
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{
"description": "arguing with my disabled mother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
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|
AITA for arguing with my disabled mother
|
My mother has had ALS for 15 years, and most of the care for her was done by me and my dad. Recently, however, my dad was arrested for abuse and he has completely left our household. We had a hard time with that whole ordeal but now we have quality care for her where all I do now is having to be in the house during sleeping hours so she doesn't suffocate in her sleep or anything. This also means that I put her to bed every night with the exception of when I go out and ask a caregiver to do it. Every night I put her to bed (around 10:15 PM) we always talk about something, usually about my college and work. Over the years it has usually been fine, because before I got a job I was fine with five hours of sleep at night before I went to school. Now though there doesn't seem to be anything worth talking about right at night time that we cant talk about any other time, and I really value my sleep especially since I have sleeping issues. Now I end up trying to get out of our conversation so I can go to bed but she always calls me back and tries to bring the subject back up and I get heated. The most recent discussion I tried to get out of I tried talking about my dad leaving and how if we don't have a stable way to take care of her for the long term, she would have to go to a home. This wasn't anything new and it was a branch from me talking about the good things my dad did for her, because she thought he didn't do anything good for us. I just don't know what the right call is to make because I don't want to talk to her at night time. I honestly just want to sleep but she always gets on me about things that I don't want to talk about like my relationships and what I talk to my friends about. I end up arguing with her almost every night and she ends up crying most of the time, but I don't feel bad for it because I feel like I should be able to talk to my mom about how I feel about things.
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HISTORICAL
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ba78t7
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{
"description": "asking my neighbors to pay for my tetanus shot/broken glasses their dog indirectly caused",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
WIBTA for asking my neighbors to pay for my tetanus shot/broken glasses their dog indirectly caused?
|
1st time poster, sorry for being anxious/any mobile format issues.
I’m a short woman who is terrified of big dogs due to bad experiences as a kid. Most ppl see a big dog & go “good boy who’s a good boy!!” & my instinct is to run.
There’s a new dog in my neighborhood. Idk breed/gender but it’s big, black, shorthaired, floppy ears. 2 weeks ago we were walking in our neighborhood, & we were still in front of our house when a dog we hadn’t seen before runs out of our neighbor’s garage (not the neighbor who owns the dog. The dog was in someone else’s garage) at us. Not aggressive, but clearly untrained bc we were telling it “no” repeatedly & it still was jumping on us. No leash, no owner around, not listening to commands. I ran but my mom grabbed me bc she knew that would make it worse. The dog is my height when on hind legs, putting its paws on my shoulder. It licked my eye, knocking my sunglasses off. I didnt realize it had done that til later bc I was so shaken up. It’s hard to convey written down how scary it is to have a dog your height jump on you. My eye hurt alot after. We later returned to the spot to find them on the gravel broken. I had to buy a new pair and they’re not cheap, $14.
We didn’t walk for days. When we felt safe we went, & we passed by the house who owned the dog. It’s a young couple. They were right there in their yard w the dog & it still ran right at us. I obv got scared, trying to cover my face so it wouldnt jump on me, & we were shouting NO to no avail. It came back a 2nd time bc the owners couldn’t get it to stop. My mom got mad & yelled at them that they can’t let this dog run around the neighborhood unleashed & that it knocked my glasses off. The woman just said sorry a couple times but the man kept playing w the dog.
Then last night happened. We have stopped walking in the neighborhood & instead play badminton in our driveway. We were having fun when I look behind me & I see that dog charging me again IN OUR DRIVEWAY. I shouldn’t have done this but I’m so scared of this dog that I dropped my racket and BOOKED IT for our house. I didn’t look back, just ran as fast as I could. My mom stayed outside yelling NO and STOP at it. In my rush to get tf inside it took me a min to realize I had cut my arm on some cut open rusty metal on our car (from a minor crash). Today I went to urgent care to get a tetanus shot which was $30.
Here’s where I ask AITA for how I want to handle this. The dog is not aggressive but it chases/jumps on you & doesnt listen to commands. Even if friendly it SHOULD NOT be running free w no supervision/leash, especially untrained. The owners don’t seem like total assholes, but this is the South & tbh I’m scared they may have a gun. They are breaking the law and could be issued a warning & then a citation. I also want to ask them to pay for my broken glasses & tetanus shot. WIBTA for doing this?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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9wx4eq
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{
"description": "avoiding my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for avoiding my family?
|
My family and I were really close growing up but when I moved out of the house when I was 18 to go to college, my parents dropped me off and my stuff and then just left they didn't help me find my dorm they didn't even really say goodbye they just said goodbye and then left.
Later on when I got married at age 24 my parents hated my girlfriend now wife with a passion. When she came over for family gatherings theyd talk about how she looked in a negative way, and when I came alone they'd try to talk me into breaking up with her, yeah she wasn't perfect but in no way did she deserve this kind of disrespect.
Ever since then me and my wife trying to avoid my family at all cost we don't go to gatherings and we ignore their calls.
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HISTORICAL
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a5xcd5
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{
"description": "thinking nobody should wear earbuds in public",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 13
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|
AITA for thinking nobody should wear earbuds in public?
|
It is douchey to wear earbuds in public. When you are out an about, people need to talk to you. They need to tell you things like “excuse me, you are in the way,” and “Can I work in?” I really do not want to tap you on the shoulder.
In some situations, public ear buds are not a problem like sitting on a park bench or using a cardio machine at the gym. However, when you are on the move or are surrounded by people who are on the move, take your fucking earbuds out!
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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asig42
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{
"description": "asking my ride to don't let his cat free on the car",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
WIBTA if i asked my ride to don't let his cat free on the car?
|
TL;DR: I take a ride with a neighbor every day after work, he takes his cat everywhere and while taking him, let's the cat free on the car. I'm allergic to cats.
My fiancee and me can afford only one car, that she drives because her work is on the other side of town (and in the opposite direction of mine). I take rides with my neighbor that works on the same company as me.
Let me just make it completely clear: I love cats, but I'm also allergic to them, I can't stop sneezing and my head hurts like hell for an hour or more after dealing with a feline.
Anyway, I'm not exactly friends with this guy, we just see eachother at work and when occasionally run at the other at the local market. But he takes his cat everywhere, I seen he and the cat at parks, the cat waiting him at the car while he shops...
I don't want to be a burden, I hoped he would do something by seeing me sneeze every day for months now.
I think it would be a dick move to ask this, since I could just take the public transportation (adding an hour to my daily commute), but my friends and fiancee think I should just talk to him.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
ZJYH7CK42Mtfj1IyRiDUw4x2KjjIRvhy
|
asyazo
| null |
AITA boyfriend’s brother lives with us now
|
AITA ?
A little background: I have lived with my boyfriend for two years now. We’re young immigrants in the US, making it by, studying and working hard and all that bullshit. We’re nice people. Anyway, my country is going through some rough shit (Venezuela) and people are leaving, hence, my boyfriend’s brother is living with us now.
The timeframe, rules and terms were never discussed. It was an emergency situation and kind of something he had to do. Help someone in need. And I’m cool with that; I won’t interfere with his life mission of helping his brother with his new life.
Am I the asshole to think that this is still my house and he is the visitor? Bf thinks we’re equally entitled... I’ve been mostly accommodating, but things have gone missing or damaged these past four months. Somehow I am the witch if I say something about it. Bf defends him or makes excuses like: I’ll buy you a new one or “ (he did replace my $59 bamboo salad bowl which the little shit broke) an expensive ass skillet, my protein blender, etc... mostly kitchen shit but the excuses go something like: it was a year old we were going to replace it anyway (not the fucking point! My shit shouldn’t get broken or missing!!)
Also (biggest issue) I have celiacs disease and this little shit is cooking with wheat flour in my kitchen. Shit gets contaminated. I can survive and take medication and extra precautions if I go out to eat socially, maybe once a month; but using my utensils to cook and cross contaminate the kitchen of your celiac host, is borderline asshole... or am I an asshole to think like this?
It’s like having peanuts in the house of your peanut allergic host. It’s like cooking shrimp in the house of someone who’s allergic and gets ugly reactions.
The bf used to be very careful about not bringing any wheat flour to the house or the few that he did buy, he kept away from MY food and utensils so I wouldn’t get a reaction. No he says we all have the same rights.
I feel like what was a safe environment for me is not anymore and I think I’m leaving the house. It’s big fat defecating on the fact that I have a medical condition and if no one cares about me, I should take care of me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
vLMl5msUNrMgIXn1JiUBfJD1SgrrWvkC
|
9v5aup
|
{
"description": "choosing a game I've been wanting to play over going to a friends house for a week",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for choosing a game I’ve been wanting to play over going to a friends house for a week?
|
Let me give some context,
Around 2 months ago, I pre-ordered Fallout76. A week from today, it releases. The weekend it releases is also the weekend my friend and I dont have school for 3 days.
Now, obviously I should be going to my friends house cause I could just play the game after the week I’m at his house. Nope, I have shit internet and the game is unplayable because of that. During the week that I would’ve gone to his house, I chose to go to my moms house where I can play the game, and get to see her (only see her 2 times a month).
My friend was not happy about this, saying I could wait the extra 2 weeks to play a game Ive been waiting 2 months to play. But I had none of it and still plan on going to my moms.
TL;DR
Pre-ordered a game 2 months ago, game comes out next week, but also a friend and I are off school that week. I choose to play the game over going to his house.
Additional information:
I go to his house every other weekend. So I go to my moms for a weekend, then next weekend I go to his house, repeat.
Am I being an asshole about this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
8tufx1wXydFuz7Se0c11zfucEBqtydUv
|
9tqoh9
|
{
"description": "deciding to make panhandling people earn my help",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA If I decided to make panhandling people earn my help?
|
So I understand that not every person on the street asking for help is a fraud. Some people are indeed struggling in life and could use a helping hand. But in the news I've seen plenty of cases where people who aren't struggling spend the day asking people for money only to be seen driving away in a nice new car at the end of the day.
​
In order to avoid giving money to a potential frauds posing as a homeless/struggling person I thought what If I start questioning these people asking them what their story is. Like "why are you struggling, do you work, why aren't you trying to find a job instead of relying on people to be generous, etc".
​
I've even thought about wanting to tell panhandlers I'll consider helping them out if they show me their I.D. My theory is that people who have nothing to hide and really are going through a hard time in life would have no problem showing me their id if it meant they could get any sort of help. Someone who isn't comfortable showing me their I.D probably has something to hide like an arrest warrant or they don't want me to know their names because they might just be frauds who wish to remain anonymous.
​
If they do seem like legit non frauds who showed me their I.D and answered all my questions about their struggle story genuinely, I was also thinking to make them do something small for me to further test if their willing to work for my help. For example simply cleaning off my windshield and windows with a rag and spray bottle.
​
So yeah all in all WIBTA if I made panhandlers go through those hoops to earn my help, questioning them, asking for their I.D and making them do a small job? All this to see if they aren't frauds and to see if their willing to work to get out of their situation, or if they just want free handouts for not doing anything.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
OHRPjBjA5fd5LiDRQX4McVjrExrDSJQb
|
arnpga
|
{
"description": "refusing to give my ex half of the security deposit",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to give my ex half of the security deposit
|
4 months ago my ex broke up with me and left the country. She left behind most of her belongings, her two cats, and left me to pay the full amount of the rent. Well the lease is about to be up, and I'm moving to a new place. She is now claiming that I owe her half of the deposit, and I have to pay to send her cats and belongings back home. She's 6000 miles away from me, and this would cost A LOT of money, around 2K give or take. She's now claiming that I'm "holding her stuff hostage". AITA for not wanting to give her half of the security deposit. Our rent is $800 which I will be paying 6 months of full rent without her, getting a roommate in this tiny apartment is next to impossible with two cats. Deposit is $1000 by way (meaning I paid 500 and she paid 500).
I have agreed to send her all of her things, and her cats as long as she pays for it. I've even agreed to set up all the paperwork and transportation for sending two cats out of country.
We just got off a text exchange and she called me every name in the book. I'm really really trying to be a good guy and be fair. But she just keeps claiming that it's my responsibility to pay her the deposit and spend my own money to send her things back. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here. AITA???
INB4: No I never cheated on her, No I never harmed a hair on her head, No I didn't abuse her. She was just extremely homesick we both visited our friends and family back home one vacation and she decided to stay.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
2E52De9GN6gCJAIrH12e6XX2fRfE7gYU
|
akibwl
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share my ps4 with my nephew",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to share my PS4 with my nephew?
|
Okay context.
I bought my own PS4 for christkas last year and added my own info and ganes to it, as such it was was the third PS4 in my house it was connected to the living room TV as I patiently wait for my room to have my very own TV
I got to have the Spider-man PS4 game and played it non-stop and had to pause in very important moments to play another time.
One of those times my nephew came to visit and his mom asked if he could get to play, I hesitated for a moment but said no and continued the gane for a few hours, I went up to my room to do my thing and draw as I waited for food
When I came down I came to see my nephew playing the game even though I told him no, I turned off the ps4 and luckily he didn't mess anything up but I was still pissed off, I then got into an argument with my family where they called me selfish for not letting him play, even my dad said how the ps4 was his because he used his money, even though he got it for me as a gift and has been my position for a whole year.
A few days passed and we cut to yesterday where i was on my way to play the PS4 after I was cleaning up my room and greet my family as they came to visit again, but then I heard the PS4 turn on and the intro to the games plays very loudly, I ran down as fast as I could and told him to turn it off because nobody asked me in the first place, I told them no and left the room very angry so I should cool off by taking a shower, but as soon as had a towel around me I heard them start playing again even though k said no.
I ran down with a towel around me yelling at them to turn off the PS4 very angry this time that they didn't listen to me at all, my cousin ended up turning it off and I got to take a shower even more mad than before, I went downstairs to eatmy dinner and my nephews come in asking to play with the game, being pissed off and salty I told them no. Another one of my cousin just comes in and said "you should share, mama.."
Like I'm sorry, I would've loved to share but they used my stuff without asking me in the first place twice even when I told them no and I didn't want to mess up my game regardless, then when I was in the middle of eating dinner I heard them turn on my PS4 again even when I told them no, I had enough at this point and I stormed over taking the controllers and hiding them in my room along with putting a password on my account so that way they can't get in.
Earlier today I was telling my dad about it and then outcomes another huge argument where he said that I was being "stingy" and "petty" and I should automatically share it to him because he's family, I snapped at him telling him that I don't care that he was family or not, he used MY STUFF without asking and I had to lay out boundries and even told him how there were two more PS4 in the house that belonged to my brothers, meaning that if I said no, they shouldn't be throwing a hissy fit and instead ask on of my brother's instead of pestering me even though I said no thousands of times.
My family still thought I being selfish but am I really in this situation.
TL;DR: I unplugged my PS4 because of my nephews refusing to listen to my boundaries
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
PLiYgk4glBthEfqo7ZsjUcBwCfgttGxJ
|
9x8xn8
|
{
"description": "not allowing family to see my kids",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not allowing family to see my kids?
|
I’ve always had a seriously strained relationship with my mom’s family. Specifically, my moms parents. They were always high on something and always causing unnecessary trouble and drama to anyone they interact with. I’d get into it, but it’s too much to list when it isn’t directly related to the decision to cut them out of my life.
When my parents split up, my mom, brother and I moved in to their house. This house now housed my family, my grandparents and my aunt, her husband and 2 kids (they lived in the basement apartment, this is relevant). As soon as I graduated high school, I left the first opportunity that was presented and ended up moving a few thousand miles away and was doing really good for myself. I didn’t check up on anyone much, and was living my own life until my brother called about a problem he was having and asking me for money to get a hotel room. Why did he need money for a hotel room?
Well, a few months before, my brother and my aunt got into an argument about my dad and his addiction problem. They were talking down about my dad right to my brother. My dad didn’t even live there. He couldn’t defend himself, so my brother did. My aunt was also constantly doing drugs, and didn’t like that being brought up and went off the deep end. She went to the police station and filed a protection order against my brother for verbally threatening her, spitting in her face and being a danger to her and her family. Everyone in this house knows it was a lie. This stopped nothing. When the issue went to court, my grandparents backed my aunts lie and the courts ruled in her favor. My grandparents kicked out my 17 year old brother. My brother brother then moved in with my dad. My dad lived in a tent on a campground.
I have not talked to anyone from my moms immediate family since then. My brother, who is now in his 20s, will go over for holidays and act casual with them, but that’s about it. He keeps to himself for the most part. He doesn’t believe i should be keeping my kids from them, however doesn’t blame me for wanting them out of my life. He’s mentioned our grandparents have since apologized and made amends. My mom is a people pleaser and is trying to keep the peace between everyone even if it goes against what i want with my children. She’ll come visit and bring gifts from them, telling them who it’s from and sending pictures back to her parents. I assume she’s let her parents FaceTime/call them while she’s been alone with them, but has neither confirmed nor denied doing so. I get the sending of pictures, but i feel like anything more than that is just blatant disrespect towards me and has not been allowed to be alone with the kids since.
I’m no longer angry about the situation. It’s been awhile and I’ve gotten over most of the angry feelings i had about it. I don’t feel like it’s a grudge I’m holding, just a decision of who I want in or, in this case, out our lives. That being said, now i have a family of my own and want them no where near any of these people. If they could make their grandchild homeless, i don’t want to think about what they’d do to my kids. Everyone else believes that whenever I am back home, I should make time for these people and let them visit us since “everyone else has moved passed this,” and “we need to forgive and get the hate out of your heart.” Because i won’t budge and don’t want my kids even meeting these people, AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
3J7FSiTDqNKQoZdi3FCtABDgibmuJeqN
|
ao4h4t
|
{
"description": "wishing my dad was dead",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wishing my dad was dead?
|
I apologize in advance if this is all over the place, I'm writing this as fast as I can between errands.
My dad and I have never had what one would call a healthy relationship. I am 28 and he is 52 and, for as long as I can remember, he has been a liar and a total dick. He and my mom divorced when I was 11 after he had a psychotic break and refused to get help for his bipolar disorder. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and it's been a big effort to stay in contact with him as long as I have. It became even harder after my mom told me he ruined her reputation by spreading the rumor that they'd divorced because he caught her cheating on him, which is not true.
My dad made living with him difficult, but living apart from him is almost like a punishment. He will go weeks to months without contacting me or my older sister (his ex step-daughter) despite attempts to reach him, but complain about how we never make time for him. He claims to have a six figure salary on top of his wife's salary, but is always in some state of financial distress. He is unreliable and often says he will show up and never does or shows up with no warning and expects us to cancel any plans we may have. He lavishes money on his step-daughters and cares for their children, including raising one of his step-daughter's kids while she was in rehab for meth, but has not once called to even speak to my two kids, his biological grandchildren, and only sees them once or twice a year. He is abusive to his grandchildren that live with him, hitting them and yelling at them. The most hurtful thing to me, personally, is his refusal to accept me as I am. I am transgender and have been out for years but he has made it clear that he will never use the right pronouns or call me by my chosen name (which has been my legal name for quite some time, going so far as to refuse to put it on things like money orders or checks, forcing me to bring my name change forms and out myself every time. My mother tells me all the time that I should forgive him and just try to bear it because he is my father, but I am very tired of dealing with him flitting in and out of our lives and having no respect for me or my feelings.
So here is the meat of the matter: my dad is 52 and has had, to date, 4 heart attacks that I know about and a stroke. He had surgery a couple years ago that he said was to remove a benign tumor from his stomach, but we're all pretty sure that was a lie and he has gastric bypass. He may have had more health issues, but he does not call when they happen nor does his wife, so it's possible that I have been kept in the dark about other things as I was with 3 of his heart attacks. But, my dad claims to have a $300,000 life insurance policy with me as the sole beneficiary. And a very, very big part of me wishes that he would go ahead and die so I could collect it and move on with my life.
​
My family has fallen on some very hard times. We moved into a new city after I got a job, but I was unexpectedly laid off and have been unable to find stable work that pays enough and now we can barely afford to make ends meet. Every small inconvenience is a financial disaster for us. Our credit has plummeted, our credit cards have been charged off, and my partner works his ass off to keep up afloat. We make \*just\* enough to be disqualified from most assistance programs and we have nowhere to turn for help. That kind of money would really help us get back on our feet. We would be able to breathe easier, fix our vehicle, pay off our debts, even buy Christmas and birthday gifts for our kids. If you've ever been poor, you know the difference money like that could make in a family's life.
​
I know it's harsh to wish that my father would die. The policy could be another one of his lies. But, even if it was, I would still want him to die. A permanent end to dealing with him would be a relief, honestly, and I feel like I could finally get on with my life without feeling guilty or stressed out about him. In my mind, he's basically already dead anyway and I'm just being haunted by his bullshit. So, AITA here? I'm willing to accept that I am. I don't think it would change the way I feel, but it would be nice to know what others think.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
ZomEMPmSJci92Yvcrs3UoMb3H4YTXYR0
|
b533rm
|
{
"description": "telling my friends that something they made fun of me about was very sensitive to me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friends that something they made fun of me about was very sensitive to me?
|
one of my friends brought up an extreamely sensitive topic for me, which he knows is a sensitive topic, out of nowhere, hung up, and then told his boyfriend, who he knew would make fun of me about it, and then when he did start to make fun of me i got really mad at my friend and yelled at him(over text btw, in person i rarely raise my voice) because i was hurt that he would tell him, and then i reminded him just how sensitive and awful the topic was for me, and he seemed really apologetic and i feel like an asshole because i probably made him feel like one.
as for his boyfriend, i lashed out at him and explained how it was an extreamely sensitive topic and said something like "you already know why its sensitive as none of my conversations with [friend] are private anymore" and i think i probably made him feel like an asshole too. so now i feel like the biggest gaping asshole to ever exist.
am i really that big of an asshole or do i just hate myself and jump to conclusions too much?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
pKEJ7UbUYaN5kjJfVJGjYv7jpN8hPhTA
|
b3jqoq
|
{
"description": "\"snitching\" on my classmate for plagiarizing a few of his essays",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for “snitching” on my classmate for plagiarizing a few of his essays?
|
My classmate texted me a week ago asking if he could pay me to write an essay for our class. His chosen topic on the subject was different than mine but I’m sure the professor would’ve noticed similar writing styles. Plus he offered $10 to do it and it is more than $10 of work.
I will say he has become more than just my classmate but a friend of mine so I felt bad doing this. I know he’s got a lot on his plate working two jobs and going to school full-time. He does not have any financial support from his family (single mom who is abusive) so he lives on his own paycheck to paycheck.
I empathize with his situation but it angered me to no end that he would do that and I asked him if he has done it before. He said only a few times when he doesn’t have the time because he’s scheduled too much at work and can not afford to lose his job. Still no excuse. Why should he get great marks on an essay he didn’t even write? I put a lot of time into mine and still don’t even have as good of grades as him. It is not only illegal but it’s just an insult to all of us who are actually working hard for our degrees.
So I showed the professor the texts he sent me and he was kicked out of the course, may be facing expulsion. I was very honest with him that I showed the professor our texts with him asking me to plagiarize for him. He’s very upset with me saying I ruined his chance of giving himself a better life than what he grew up with and that he’s hurt a friend would snitch on him like that. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
Qkrf6eVAHdQt1KDuYrUJdXtuyvECDfqT
|
b714gl
|
{
"description": "sending a stranger away",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sending a stranger away?
|
To be honest, I really don’t know how to title this one without giving the whole story away so here it goes. My boyfriend (30M) and I (25F) rent a house together in a nice town by the ocean. We have an great landlord that can sometimes be weird but otherwise he is a good guy. The other day I was home alone, smoking some weed and cleaning around the house. There was a knock and doorbell ring at the door, so obviously I go to answer it (and spray some febreze first lol). Random guy says “Hello I’m so and so from a local solar panel company and I was wondering if I could come in and take a look inside the house and the attic.” I glance behind him and I don’t see a car with any solar panel company logo. I say something along the lines of no, I wasn’t informed by my landlord that anyone would be stopping by so I’m sorry but have a good day. He insisted. He said something like please I’m supposed to do this, are you sure he isn’t here etc. etc. I again say no, told him to call my landlord then and proceeded to shut the door. That was that, stranger saunters off.
Later on that day, landlord stops by and is kind of annoyed with me. Landlord says“ that guy drove two hours to come here and you just sent him off like that. You should buy him a six pack or something to say sorry!” He kept going on about it. I told him next time someone is stopping by to inform me because I will never let a stranger in the house regardless if I am alone or not.
Also, I did not mention this is not the first time he has sent someone by without informing me and I have shut the door in their face. I don’t believe I am in the wrong here but I also am hyper aware of crimes/rapes/murders that have happened because of situations like this. I am not sure if I’m being overly cautious because of all of the terrible shit I read and if I’m the asshole here and owe some people apologies.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
A2gJzcp1yi9YMBGRrJ2OKFC254E0Zs56
|
axoko6
|
{
"description": "wanting my dad to send me the $100 I'm entitled to",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For wanting my dad to send me the $100 I'm entitled to?
|
So a little bit of back story, I currently live with my mum after living with my dad for the first 14 years of my life, and because of the custody battle my dad made me go through just to live with mum, my relationship with him has definitely dwindled quite a bit. I am also living away from home as I am attending the school for the deaf (I'm not completely deaf, moderate to severe hearing loss in both ears.) Both my mum and dad agreed on this plan - Mum puts $50 on my school trust account, and Dad puts $50 into my bank account.
Okay so here is how this all began. Around the middle of February I had gotten a text from my dad asking if he could not send me the money this week because he and my older brother needed haircuts, this did confuse me quite a bit because my older brother has his own money from baby sitting a lot from time to time.
A week later I then got a message from my dad again saying that he found something that would make him a "millonaire" and that he was coming to the city I'm in to check it out. That alone would be an eight hours drive. I had gotten excited because I thought that maybe.. just maybe he was using it as an excuse to see me. It wasn't.
He's there by the next afternoon and I was asked if I wanted to go with him to the University here, I had said yes. On the way there, he said, without asking, that he was going to be withholding another weeks money from me. Quite frankly I was pissed but could't do anything about it. I only got to see him twice during the day and a half he was here, even though he was just less than a 100 meters away from me as he wanted a free room for the night. Convenient they have flats here for visiting parents.
The day he left I would actually be flying back home to mum, I had called her on the Thursday night to have a heart-to-heart talk with her so she already knew what had happened. She was going to confront dad but I had asked her to delay it until I came back up here. During the weekend I was back home, I went up to my dad's house for dinner to see my Granddad, by the end of the dinner, I had asked my dad if he was actually going to send me the money, and followed up with a "I'll be fine with you just sending me $75 for two weeks." All he said in return is $50 is a lot of money for someone who is unemployed.
It's been nearly two weeks now and it still annoys me quite a bit, so I've pretty much had to sic my mum onto him, as it is very unfair for me and for mum.
To make this clear before anyone asks (if anyone does.) You can't get a job while being a student here as its dangerous because of our disabilities, which is completely understandable. We also usually have a lot of after school activities that we do so that's another factor of it.
TL;DR Dad avoids paying me so I can get basic necessities for two weeks, offered for him to only pay $50, shot down and I was told "it's a lot" for someone my age.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
f7dBUUSNyFAARQeG97MFVHsxBQV3arm8
|
avmszx
|
{
"description": "having all of my sisters in my wedding party, except for one",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I have all of my sisters in my wedding party, except for one?
|
So I’m getting married, yay! But with weddings there always comes tough decisions and drama. I have 3 sisters, 2 of which I am close to and will definitely be in the bridal party along with 2 cousins I’m close with.
Some background on my relationship with my third sister... it has never been good. All throughout my life I’ve been belittled, disrespected, and bullied by her. I’m the youngest sister so I was her go-to punching bag all throughout our childhood. She had a bad temper, and would physically and verbally abuse me, without ever offering any apologies. In our teenage years she would spread rumors about me to friends and extended family and always make jokes at my expense, to make herself look better. Our relationship as adults is just straight up hostile and it’s clear we don’t like or respect each other, but we can be usually civil for family gatherings. I wouldn’t say I hold a grudge against her for my childhood, but it has definitely had long lasting effects and I don’t think we will ever be anything more than tolerable of each other.
SO I could go on and on about my broken relationship with my sister but needless to say I DO NOT want her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. It just doesn’t feel right to have her standing up there with me when we basically have no relationship. She also has some beef with my fiancé because he has spoken up for me in the past when she’s treated me poorly, so that’s another concern of mine.
But even with all of this, I still feel like the biggest asshole ever for not wanting her as a bridesmaid. She is my sister and although we don’t get along, I love her and I know how hurt she will be if she’s not included. Both of our sisters and all the other women in my family that are close in age with us will be my bridesmaids. She won’t be seated with any of our immediate family at the ceremony because they’ll all be standing at the alter with me. I also think if the roles were reversed and she was the one getting married, she would probably ask me to be her bridesmaid. It doesn’t seem like it from what I’ve written, but my sister does have her good moments and her happiness is important to me. I also know I’ll have backlash from my family for not including her... so I’m just so torn.
Give it to me straight Reddit, WIBTA for not making my sister a bridesmaid?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
x4TdVd3JHr0tEhF6aShzbmn4hlsIy7IW
|
b023r4
|
{
"description": "not caring that my family doesn't invite me to stuff",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not caring that my family doesn't invite me to stuff?
|
AITA for not caring that my family doesn't invite me to stuff?
A little back story. My uncle was the glue that held my family together after he died we kind of scattered to the wind. The family tries to keep it together by meeting up for holidays and some birthday and the rare "just because" weekend.
The problem is I either don't get invited or I get invited at the last minute and the fam gets pissy if I'm busy or tired. I also don't know about family members flying in until they show up at my door step.
Last year I wanted to know what we were doing for Christmas (we never held it in the same place) and was told we were not going to celebrate so I took up a friends offer to celebrate with him and his family. Christmas day while I'm at the friends house I get a call from my mom. She and my sister are at my grandparents house. She's only calling to tell me that I'm rotten for not being there. When I ask why I was told we weren't going to celebrate this year, I get the same list of excuses.
"You're never doing anything so we figure we could just tell you and you would show up"
Wrong. I'm usually tired on the weekday because I have a very labor intensive job. I would perk myself up if people would just tell me shit is going down. I always tell them when I would have free time, thinking that would make it easier to invite me but sadly no.
"We thought we told you."
Nope. They don't call, text or send me a damn pigeon.
"Well, we just forgot."
Yeah I can tell!
The shitty part is that when I want to make plans with my family it's like pulling teeth. I basically have to pay for everything before they will even consider doing anything with or for me.
I don't know why but it's just me that they do this to. Even my cousin who has let my family know that she wants nothing to do with us gets invited to family events. I want to be close to my family but at this point I'm about to tell them all to eat dicks and fuck off.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zt21zf912iGVJ0VuQI76tVPHfgAN3k0U
|
appelo
|
{
"description": "banging my exes best friend after we broke up",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For banging my exes best friend after we broke up
|
Backstory me and my ex dated for about 2 months never had sex or anything she completely randomly calls me crying says she cheated on me and we obviously then break up. Fast forward about 2 months and I match with her on a dating site again but on this dating site there's private pictures, here's the [convo] (https://imgur.com/a/cVF2N4V). Anyways she asks to see mine I don't care so I gave access but what I didn't know was her best friend was with her and she showed her best friend my nudes. Anyways bout a week goes by and her best friend completely randomly hits me up. We meet up etc end up banging then become fwb's for a couple months doing that pretty much everyday. This completely ruined my exes and her best friend's years long friendship and they completely stopped talking. I also matched with another one of her past friends more recently who wasn't that close with her anymore and had a similar thing happen where they hit me up first cause they knew of me through her and we ended up banging as well. It's not like I'm going after these girls as payback cause they're the one's who hit me up/messaged first they're cute and I don't see why I should have to respect my exes friendships lol. I really feel like I'm not the asshole here but my current girlfriend of about 6 months brings this up every time we get into an argument saying something like at least I'm not an asshole who bangs my exes best friend as payback. So I'm starting to doubt if I'm an asshole here or not and came here for some unbiased opinions haha.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
KYpXIzXdEBgkBNe6x5FMUG3pWDMfs7Sc
|
agmlrw
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate his friend can't stay in his room when no one else is in the house",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my roommate his friend can’t stay in his room when no one else is in the house?
|
Hi all,
So we’re all about 24 years old and live in a major city. This is a 5-bedroom house with 5 people in it. It’s a bit cramped, but we manage. I’ve lived here for about 2 years now. This dude, not named Justin, moved in about six months ago. He’s okay. He’s kind of an asshole. Like nothing *bad*, just one of those people who thinks he’s better than everyone else kind of thing.
Anyway, for the most part, he’s a decent roommate. He’s going out of town this weekend, and he said that one of his friends is going to be staying in his room from Friday at 10am when his flight gets here until about Saturday evening when his flight leaves. Justin told him where the spare key is so he can get in. Between work and school, none of us will be there Friday during the day, and there’s a good chance there won’t really be anyone there much of Saturday.
This doesn’t seem right to me. I don’t know this dude from Adam. Justin says he’s a good guy, but fuck if I know that. I’ve had my shit stolen from my best friends sister before back at home. Them’s the type of dudes that will rob you blind and then come over to help you find the shit you “lost.”
Anyway, I told him I wasn’t cool with that. If Justin’s gonna be here, all good, but I’m not down with some guy crashing at my place by himself. Needless to say he wasn’t happy, asked me what’s his friend supposed to do. I basically told him to get an AirBnB or a hotel. He’s a grown ass man.
I’m not gonna lie. I feel bad. This dude is from the Midwest suburbia, and I grew up on the streets, so maybe it’s just different experiences giving us different senses of security, but I think it’s unreasonable to ask me to round up all of my valuables and lock them in my room for a day, so your boy can save $50.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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RIGHT
|
9hzPgEZsRi9ZOu4XcZtt5zAsqYVdW0pd
|
a860pj
|
{
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to tell me when she has to go somewhere",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my girlfriend to tell me when she has to go somewhere?
|
My girlfriend will regularly leave to go do something for 3 or 4 hours while texting me, with no warning, and will simply answer a few hours later as if nothing had happened.
I understand that she has her own schedule, and don’t want to be controlling or even know where she’s going. I’d simply like her to tell me when she has to go, so I’m not left wondering what happened.
Am I the asshole here? Should I just accept it as a part of our relationship and move on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
WBQNPAI0b8EguPS07rGo6qY0t93MUQyb
|
ba1l9e
|
{
"description": "getting special meals every day",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting special meals every day?
|
I have a problem with my stomach that is basically really bad heartburn. I get it literally every day if I don't take my medication and there was a year when I could barely sleep because my stomach hurt so badly. My doctor told me to avoid tomatoes, peppers, anything spicy, anything fried, chocolate, fatty meats, and alcohol, among other things. If I eat a slice of pizza or even a mild curry, I feel sick.
I am a college student and the dining hall was a bit of a challenge for me. More often than not, the entrees will have something I can't eat in them. During my freshman year, I lost 30 lbs (down to my middle school weight) and was just eating cereal for dinner many nights.
I told the dining hall staff that I was having a hard time and they were super understanding and set up special meals for me. I appreciate it and try to request simple dishes that they can cook in a few minutes, like quesadillas or grilled tofu.
I moved off campus and no longer technically need to be on a meal plan. I could cook at home, but I like eating with friends, so I bought a meal plan.
There aren't a lot of people who need special meals because our dining hall caters pretty well to vegetarian/vegan/kosher/gluten free/other normal dietary restrictions. As a result, a lot of my friends are jealous of me because I get to eat whatever I want and they have to eat whatever is on the menu. Some of them have entertained the idea of also asking for special meals with dietary restrictions (anything from "I'm allergic to most meats" to "when I eat too many gingerbread cookies, I feel sick"). I feel a little bit guilty because I essentially have a personal chef.
Am I the asshole for either of the following reasons?
1. I get to decide what I eat every day and my friends are at the whim of the dining hall
2. I live off campus and could cook for myself
TL;DR: I have a really good thing worked out with my college's dining hall because of my crappy stomach. Is it an unfairly good deal for me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
CtGG73RWpoCzsJ38tUuqOGt5RLkAzwG8
|
akbzwx
|
{
"description": "calling out a girl for being rude on her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling out a girl for being rude on her Birthday?
|
Alot of context is needed, myself and 16 others went on an exchange to Malaysia for a month through University. The girl in question, lets call her Sarah and the best way to describe her is 'stereotypical privileged white girl from Australia'. She wasn't that awful at first, but things started to go sour when I decided to go from Kuala Lumpur to Penang, the 16 of us had a group chat so often we'd put our plans in there incase others wanted to come.
Turns out a fair few people wanted to go, as it was alot of peoples first time overseas I organized getting there and back and an Airbnb. We spent about 3 days there, however myself and two of my friends came down with food poisoning or something so they ended up spending time in the airbnb, skip to the last night in Penang the 7 of us that came went out to dinner as the two people who where sick ended up feeling better. Sarah started making snide comments about how stupid she thought it was to stay in an airbnb for the entire trip instead of exploring ect. Alice, one of the girls who was sick was quite upset at the comments.
So at this point myself and Alice are a bit wary of Sarah, even more so the next morning when we are leaving. Since I organized getting to Penang I had all the info for getting back. I made it super clear we should be ordering an uber by 8am that morning. Que next morning, Sarah and one of her friends decide that they would go get starbucks at 8:10 before heading to the bus station. This obviously annoys me and others as this was a university trip we did have a certain obligation not to leave anyone behind despite being all adults. I dont really say anything despite being annoyed and fortunately they made it just as we where boarding the bus.
At this point we are in week 2 of our trip, and the issues dont stop there. Those of us who noticed Sarah being rude just chalk it up to being in a stressful and new situation and try not to start an issues as we still have to deal with her for 2 weeks. I spend alot of time avoiding her, unfortunately she seems to pick on Alice quite a bit and this quite upsets her and me. I overhear Sarah gossiping about how 'I'm getting too involved' with organising things (like Penang), Sarah had been overseas multiple times as she quite often liked to bring up so she was a seasoned traveler. (She spent two weeks at Oxford University in the UK and managed to bring it up in every conversation, and according to her 'Melbourne has better coffee than Paris AND Italy'.
So que her birthday, all 16 of us are in Melacca with some people we met at Uni. It's her Birthday and she's made everyone aware and decided that we should all have dinner with her. Alice and I aren't thrilled about this, but since half of our group decided that they wouldn't we kind of felt bad. Initially I said I wasnt feeling well, so i went back to the hotel but when i heard that alot of people bailed i felt bad. Since the resturant they where at was close by I sent them a quick message saying order without me I'll be there in 10 minutes. I arrive and Sarah makes a scene about how I made them wait to order, and when I told her I actually I said order without me she still tried to attack me for it. Anyway the waiter makes a mistake with Alice's drink and Alice tries to explain it was wrong this confuses the waiter. Sarah makes snide comments about Alice ordering the wrong drink ect. Dinner is awkward but we make it through. That night we where planning to go out for drinks since our hotel had a really cool rooftop bar, but Sarah will be there. Alice and I decide to go anyway and just try and avoid her. We manage to find a nice secluded area, but unfortunately Sarah and one of her friends manage to find us and invite themselves into our conversation.
So her comes calling out. Alice is completely done with Sarah, but she's definitely more sensitive and emotional the some people. Sarah then asks me if I would like to go to the markets with her and her friend tomorrow. She asked only me, specifying my name multiple times I front of 5 others. Alice takes I quite personally and decides to leave with tears in her eyes. Alice and I had become really good friends throughout the trip, and so when Sarah asked if she was feeling sick again I decided I would say something. Keep in mind I think I did I rather civilly. I told her that her actions had been coming off quite badly to myself and others. I didnt call her a bitch or anything I really wanted to. Anyway she starts crying and I apologize for saying these things on her birthday but we had all been suffering. I left and went to talk to Alice. She messages Alice to talk to her and instead of apologizing she said, and I quote 'well I think you took those things so personally because you haven't traveled as much or have as much life experience as me'. (She is 22, lives with her parents and works one shift a week. She told us they contributed most of her funds for this trip).
Anyway she never 'apologizes' to me and I didnt really mind. She avoided us for the rest of the trip.
Short story: Am I an asshole for calling out a girl for being consistently rude to myself and others for 4 weeks on her birthday after she made someone nearly cry.
Am I the asshole in this situation? I do kinda feel bad about doing it on her birthday but she really deserved it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
GzfnFnGdieYqykaJHpPB0YdRAamVeu2O
|
a19kzq
| null |
AITA even if I’m trying not to be?
|
Ok so sorry for such a vague question.
Basically I’m on a plane right now, a 14.5 hour flight from HKG to EWR. I’m in an aisle seat.
At the start of the flight I thought I’d try some games, solitaire and bejeweled, and while playing the second one the girl in front turned around and asked me to stop tapping so hard. I said ok my bad I’m sorry, and so I tried obvs to not tap too hard. I basically stopped playing altogether and went on my phone. Then it was time to eat, and now with 11 hours to go I decided to sleep.
She hadn’t said anything else since the first time. But now that I’ve literally woken up, I accidentally knocked my upper stowaway table (on an A350, Cathay Pacific, and they have these weird second, upper stowaways that you have to pull down to access the USB port) and then decided to put it away bc it was annoying and my phone was full charge, and as I go to push it closed (and I swear I was already trying to be soft, but this is basically a latch and you have to push it to click it in place) she turns around again and goes “seriously, can you stop. do you have hot fingers” (or something, i didn’t even know what it meant). and like, I felt bad the first time, even now, but I had *just* woken up and wanted to put my table away, and there’s really no way to softly close it. I tried to tell her as such.
Side note: these seats do seem a little more....sensitive and thinner, bc I have been feeling the person move and (kinda) tap more than when I was on an A330 yesterday.
TLDR; Was playing games on my inflight screen, girl in front asks me to stop tapping so hard so I try not to. I then sleep for 5 ish hrs, only for her to get super annoyed at me when I try to close my stowaway table. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
uvi9b9rlZJKK17nwtyo1rcr65Ls6YTeG
|
b8de16
|
{
"description": "saying no when a girl asked if she was prettier than another girl",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for saying no when a girl asked if she was prettier than another girl?
|
This was all happening through chat.
So, I was chatting with a girl, let's call her Anne. Just a friend. She mentions another girl, let's call her Brenda, asking if I was interested in Brenda. I said no, but that I was interested in someone else, tho she wasn't as pretty as Brenda. (I felt the need to say this bec the last time I talked about another girl I was interested in with her, she immediately went and told me that the girl wasn't pretty). She then asks me if I think she's prettier, to which I answered honestly, saying no.
Then she loses it. She tells me she hates me and that she didn't need that "other girls are prettier than you" bullshit. Especially from me. I keep telling her that it wasn't my intention to push the idea that other girls were prettier, I was just answering her question. She continues being condescending by saying things like "You of all people have the guts to tell me that?" I tell her I never would have if she didn't ask.
She tells me she felt attacked. She felt objectified. (By my simple response to her question asking to be objectified in comparison to another woman)
She tells me to try not to be an asshole about those things and so I apologize because I felt that yeah it really offended her big time. She tells me not to push my luck and that I'm the only one she knows that would prolly tell that to a girl upfront.
"Would you rather that I lied? Or was that a question not meant to be answered?" I asked.
"I can't get over it."
"I dont tell anyone that "other girls are prettier" but you asked a very specific question abt my preference"
"It still translates as that, to me."
"Well you read it wrong and that was not the intention at all."
She then says it was still an asshole move and it didn't matter what my intention was but how she perceived it.
"Doesn't the misreading count as a fault on your part?" I say.
"Are you hearing yourself? Now we're counting faults?"
"No, nvm." I say.
She responds to my previous message asking if she preferred that I lied or ignored the question completely.
"What do you think?"
To which I no longer responded bec I've had enough at this point.
Am I the asshole?
​
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
WKumPd3f53ZMaomJkTLtp8B10vvygV88
|
9yy4pk
|
{
"description": "moving out of state to get further away from my in-laws",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for moving out of state to get further away from my in-laws?
|
My in laws are very religious and legalistic. They’ve disliked me ever since my wife and I moved out of state several years ago, and we started going to a less conservative church (still Protestant, but it had drums and a guitar, so they didn’t like it). They told us many times that we should go to a real church, and continually questioned our choices on everything.
Fast forward to about 5 years ago, and we moved back to my wife’s hometown in Texas. We started going to another church when we moved back (again, less conservative than they would like), and it’s been a point of contention for 5 years because they want their grand daughters to grow up in a “better church.”
They try to brainwash our 2 daughters and tell us that the music we listen to is “satanic”, they belittle us and treat us like children for the church we attend and other decisions that we’ve made (I’m more liberal than they’d like and didn’t vote for Trump, I think my mother in law should divorce my father in law because he’s cheated on her more times than he can count, we won’t allow them to watch our kids overnight, etc.).
My father in law has been verbally, emotional, and physically abusive towards my mother in law (he’s been arrested once), and emotionally and verbally abusive towards my wife.
Because of the constant manipulation, judgement, and guilt tripping, we’ve decided to move about 2 hours away to a different state near some of our close friends.
We aren’t cutting off all contact, but we’re being very careful about how much time we allow them to spend with our kids, and are trying to get out of this situation.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
SLdHwgGuP71TNN5P0GOJTTFArOoOH30V
|
b7ozea
| null |
AITA friend told me his yes ment maybe
|
e=me
Friend=cy
Background:
I've CY for a while, last year CY promised to play football for our school with me but bailed when it came time. CY is a pretty lazy person and he has some social problems (I'm his only decent friend)
A couple of days ago CY brought up that he had been running a mile every night which I was really impressed with. I said if you really want to loose weight and get stronger we should workout together. I told him i struggle with motivation to work out but if I had a workout partner then it would help me a lot. CY said yes I want to work out with you and we didnt talk about again for 2 days. I have a pretty busy schedule so when I had time to work out I called him and asked him if he wanted to. CY said he wasn't in the mood and didnt really want to. I thought CY was just being his lazy self so I tried to convince CY that now is a good time and I reminded CY that he had said he wanted to workout earlier. CY told me he didnt remember saying yes and even if he did I should interpret his "yes" as "yes". CY said his yes ment maybe. I was mainly mad because it would have helped both of us get into shape and that is something I've wanted to do for a while. I told him I was sick of him bailing on stuff that is important to me. This made me pretty mad and I haven't talked to him in a while.
So AITA or should I just let this go.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
xURPI4jTJ4SWIRIF8MoF7GafKntbxzEA
|
adletf
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my best friend anymore",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my best friend anymore
|
My best friend Jen [F24] and I [M25] have known each other since middle school and then went to the same high school and university. Jen has become fully part of my family and I've become a part of hers. We go to family events and she's even good friends with my brother and sisters. I've always been relatively single and she's been dating a guy for a year. Jen used to be a fun "party girl" and I am more on the reserved side, but still love going out. We both have strenuous jobs in the legal field so we only go out about 2 weekends a month. A typical night used to included getting buzzed at a bar or nightclub, dancing, having a great time with other friends, and then mexican food at 3 am to close the night. The issue arose a couple months ago. There were times she couldn't go out due to her girlfriend duties and I'd go out with my guy friends. I didn't care that she couldn't go, I completely understand her boyfriend wants to go on dates. Jen and I talk and send memes constantly so it's not like I was missing her. I started to noticed that I'd get extra attention from women that I was NEVER getting when Jen was around. This occurred multiple times until I brought it up to my guy friends to see if they noticed anything different. Did I get better looking or richer in the last year? No. They told me that every time I'd go out with Jen we kind of looked like a couple. This made sense to me because we're very close and she's very affectionate (hugging my arm, resting her head on my shoulder, etc.). It understandable that women wouldn't approach me or feel uncomfortable if I approach them when they think I have a girlfriend. Now Jen, doesn't have many friends and has difficulty making new friends. To me this means 2 things: 1) She's not really introducing me to new social circles of women and 2) Whenever she wants to go out, I get the call, so either I go out or nothing happens. When I hang out with my guy friends, they bring their female friends, who in turn bring their female friends. I get to meet, sometimes start friends with benefits relationships, or even go on serious dates with new women. I've had tons of fun. Jen on the other hand has had a huge shift in the last 4 months. I don't get a "let's go clubbing" or "let's go barhopping" text. Now it's always "let's go to lunch or dinner", "let's go to karaoke", "come to hang out with my family". I don't mind doing those things, but they're the last thing I want to do on Friday or Saturday nights with the bars are "poppin'" as the kids with fake IDs at the bar say. I feel those are Mon.-Thurs. activities, and I'm not going to meet new people sitting in a karaoke room or having a one-on-one dinner with a girl. 3 weeks ago she drove us to a bar at 10 pm and I got a text from her asking to leave at 10:30 pm. "Ummmm; NO!" I responded "You leave. I'll find another way home". It's gotten to the point that when we're invited to clubs or bars by mutual friends she rejects the invitation and then invites me "to go to dinner instead". Now I have to either bail on a friend that I know I'm going to have fun with, or bail on Jen and have her be alone and pissy. For 3 months I'd just do whatever Jen wanted, I wouldn't go out to the bars, and I was miserable. The last 2 weekends both Jen and I have been invited to the events at a bar for friend's parties. Both times she's called me an hour before the meeting time trying to make new plans with just me after I'd already committed to going out. Honestly I was really annoyed so this last time I told her, "I'm going to the bar. I want to go and have fun tonight. We can do dinner anytime. Are you sure you don't want to come?" I got no response which I know means she's mad. When I got to the bar another mutual friend was surprised to see me because Jen had told her that she and I had made other plans. Another mutual friend texted me that Jen said I was **"being an asshole"** and that they were going to dinner. She's my best friend, I love her, and I'd do anything for her, but AITA for wanting to ditch my best friend on weekends to have debaucherous fun in my 20's?
TLDR: **So r/AITA, am I the asshole for not wanting to hang out with my best friend on weekends because she's become in my opinion boring and uninterested in doing things I'm interested in.**
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"description": "feeling like my relationship with my boyfriend is being disrespected by his friends",
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AITA for feeling like my relationship with my boyfriend is being disrespected by his friends?
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BF and I have been together for 3 years, living together for most of that time. When we met he was going to bars with 3 of his friends (also roommates at the time) 4 or 5 times a week, getting hammered and trying to pick up girls. Well, I'm an introvert and when I came around that slowed down immensely. BF is almost 30 and makes sense for him to want to slow his roll at some point, with or without me in the picture. Bars aren't really my scene and we try to find things to do together often. We invite his friends out with us often and they always ignore him if I'm involved. Well, on multiple occasions I've seen texts from his "friends" encouraging him to break up with me. They all tell him I'm too controlling and not good enough for him and to start over and do better. I'm confident when they're together they're saying the same in person when I'm not around. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I do get anxiety when my boyfriend goes downtown with his friends without me because I know they discourage him from being with me and I know they likely encourage him to try to hit on other women. I want him to have healthy time with his friends without me around, but I also don't want to be on edge the entire time knowing they're shittalking me and possibly putting him in a bad position if he is drunk and his inhibitions are lowered. I don't think he would ever cheat on me under normal circumstances, but this scenario playing in my head eats me up. My boyfriend allows this and continues to be friends with them. I want him to have friends....just not friends that disrespect me and make me feel like I can't trust them. AITA for being upset about this and feeling like he is allowing them to not only disrespect me, but our relationship together as well?
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"description": "reporting my coworker for making crude jokes",
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AITA for reporting my coworker for making crude jokes?
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My coworker kept making random gay/sexist jokes and I’ve never told him to stop, which is on me, I would just laugh or walk away. Then he started to up his rude meter. He kept going on about how he knows the manager and that’s how he got the job. How he can basically do whatever he wants because he’s not going to get fired. Also brought up how the founders of the company has the same last name as his so he can do what ever he wants. (Note: founders have sold the company YEARS ago so this shouldn’t even matter). I would ask him to grab something for me from the back and he would just say “nope!” And walk away. He spent 90% of his time talking to another coworker and would get upset at everyone else when they weren’t stocking fast enough.
The final straw was when he began to spread this rumor that one of our coworkers wanted to fuck him. First of all, we weren’t in the break room or in the back, just out by the registers where customers were. Second, when I told him that she doesn’t usually go for skinny guys, he erupted. Telling me that being called skinny is just as bad as being called fat and that society just wants me to believe that being called skinny was a compliment. When I tried to deescalate the situation, he kept interrupting me and going on about how skinny has just as many negative connotations as fat.
The next day, I reported him to my managers. I told him every joke and every rant he went on and how he barely did any work. Managers talked to him and he found out it was me who reported him. He only got a verbal warning and didn’t get written up. Now he gives me the silent treatment and refuses to be in the same space as me. If he’s placed in the same section as me, he’ll walk away and won’t help at all.
I’m just really angry and I regret telling the managers about his behavior because it’s made the whole situation worse. I feel like the asshole because I should’ve just let it go and not let my anger control what I did.
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"description": "inviting my family to watch a movie with me and my girlfriend",
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AITA for inviting my family to watch a movie with me and my girlfriend?
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Me(23) and my girlfriend (22) were going to watch our second Netflix movie of the day and I know she usually doesn't like to watch movies with my family, mainly romantic ones(for obvious reasons). So then I ask her if she would be okay with me inviting my family to watch the movie. We discussed it a little bit and she doesn't want me to invite anyone but don't know why she doesn't want to, she just says she gets uncomfortable, she isn't that much against it also.
Skips a little and just when we're about to start the movie my brother (25) walks in the room and he can clearly see the we were about to see a movie so I invite him to see it with us and he accepted, even though we haven't finished the discussion yet. Me and my girlfriend are cool about it, but we really want to know if there are assholes here.
Edit: We were at my house with my whole family in here.
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"description": "being upset that my girlfriend beat the level I badly wanted to play in Mario Odyssey knowing that it's already my favorite new game",
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AITA for being upset that my girlfriend beat the level I badly wanted to play in Mario Odyssey knowing that it's already my favorite new game?
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Pretty low impact one here but I thought reddit might enjoy it. My girlfriend, her mom, and my mom teamed up to get me a Nintendo Switch and Mario Odyssey for Christmas! Super surprised, I was wanting one bad and hunting down good deals with no luck. Very grateful for that. We've been playing it a bunch since getting it with me holding the sticks for most of the time (video games, especially Nintendo/Mario, have been a huge part of my life ever since the original). My SO is entertained by video games but usually gets bored after 15 minutes and moves onto something else. I get way into it, and I am WAY into Odyssey.
I had been talking about this level called "New Donk City" and how hilarious that name was, how I couldn't wait to get there, etc. Today, I was at a rehearsal (I'm a musician), and after a bit of playing I see a text from my SO from an hour prior. It basically said "Hey we're playing New Donk City \[oops emoji\], do you want us to not beat it?" (we have friends in town). I obviously put my drumsticks down and responding "Wait! No! I want to play it!" It was too late.
Later on speakerphone I very calmly and light heartedly said "Hey, I really wanted to play that level, I was looking forward to it. How many moons did y'all get?" She said "...all of them". I calmly said something like "aw man", and she proceeded to shrug it off saying things like "whatever you can just replay it who cares?" And I said "Well the level will have changed and the collectables will be grayed out", to which she said "Oh well just start over then I don't know". I stayed calm and said, see y'all later, bye!
I then texted her very respectfully how it made me feel and that though she may find video games insignificant, they are very important in my life and I was very excited to experience this one fresh. She, through a few texts, got defensive, and even tried to guilt me into feeling bad about the way I felt a couple times. Things like "K well everyone is freaking out over here now" and "I get it Aaron obviously we wouldn't have done it if we knew you would be like this". To be clear, I simply stated that I was upset by what she did knowing how important the game was to me. I said that we'll just start a new file and replay it all (honestly, I'm okay with that). She still has not apologized for playing without me nor the way she handled the situation, and she's seeming like she has no intention to do so. This is what's getting me.
So. Am I the asshole here? Like I know I've said it a thousand times how calmly I handled this (rare form for me), but am I an inherent asshole for getting upset by this? I know it's "just a game" and all, but she knows how much work I've put into the game and how clearly enthralled I was with exploring everything. She's an awesome person who is generally very in touch with approaching conflicts and all that, which is making me think I might be the asshole. Let me know, y'all.
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"description": "not doing a favor that was not asked for rather expected of me",
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AITA for not doing a favor that was not asked for rather expected of me?
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For context, I live with 3 other roommates. I moved into my current apartment only 3 months ago. May be I can call them friends in future, but we are not there just yet. And one of them, let's call "A", is good but we just don't really vibe with each other.
"A" recently got scammed and started getting really paranoid. She doesn't trust anyone which I totally understand. The night she got scammed I asked what happened and if I could help and she straight up started shouting at me and asked me to leave her alone. So I did and we never talked about it again.
Back to recent events, roommate "B" ruined our kitchen tiles when the other three of us were not home. It was her responsibility, so she called the maintenance, they checked and let us know that it would take around 3-4 hours. If we let them, they will enter the apartment, finish their work and leave even if none of us are home, which we are okay with, except for "A". Without consulting me, they scheduled it for tomorrow. All my roommates are out of town, I said oh well instead of dealing with the noise I will just go to a library or something.
This is where the problem begins, "A" insists I should stay home because she doesn't want the maintenance folks entering our apartment without one of us being home. I said I was not involved in the decision making, no one asked me and I do not want to be home and take care of everything when I was not let know of it in advance. I also suggest rescheduling it to some other time when "A" can be home and take care of it.
But she says I should understand her situation, how she was recently scammed and be more accommodating. We texted back and forth, not even in one of them she asked me politely to do her a favor which I would very much agree to do. She says I am obliged to do this and that she would do the same and it doesn't require an "official request". I tell her that she never really treated me as a friend and I don't really owe her anything. She just got passive aggressive and decided that I am not a person who she thought I was. I mean, I don't even expect anything from my own boyfriend. So the entitlement really shocked me. Again if only she asked me to do her a favor, I would have. Maybe because I thrive off of appreciation.
I am generally used to being nice, so saying no in this case is bothering me. AITA here?
**TLDR**: Roommate B ruined the kitchen, roommate A has some issues and they decided its on me to stay home and get it fixed, without asking me. I declined, AITA?
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"description": "giving my friend an ultimatum",
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AITA for giving my friend an ultimatum
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AITA: My best friend has been taking an illicit drug for the past few months. I've shared my disapproval and advised her to stop, but I have no control over her life. On Saturday, she was at a party, had way too many and drank way too much and got really fucked up. I wasnt at the partybut from what I can piece together she almost died.
For the past 6 days she has been detoxing and it has been very difficult; I have been helping her and comforting her through the withdrawal symptoms. Today (Friday) she told me there is another party where she can get said drug for free. I begged her not to go and I told her that if she does go, then I wont speak to her again because I can't be worrying about her. She is my closest friend and I really care about her.
AITA for telling her if she takes the drug again, I won't speak to her.
TLDR: Friend overdosed, gets seriously messed up. Told her if she takes the drug again, I won't speak to her.
I'm not very good at reddit and I'm on mobile. Sorry for any formatting issues, and I don't know how to formally do a [serious] tag so please keep comments mature and constructive - it is a very emotional situation for me and I don't want to deal with anyone's bullshit.
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{
"description": "getting a kid kicked out of high school in freshman year",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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AITA for getting a kid kicked out of high school in freshman year?
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The likes of ‘sorry for bad formatting, on mobile’! This has been weighing down on me. I am f. My high school is very hard to get into since you have to audition.
In freshman year of high school there was this kid we’ll call G. G is a very flirtatious kid that was in the same grade as me. We randomly said hi whenever we’d walk past each other but that was all. That was until we figured out we were in the same biology class. We ended up sitting next to each other and having a good time like friends do.
Us getting to know each other turned into a friendship, though he’d always talk to me about this girl named N. N had liked him but it fizzled out, though he ended up being really into her and didn’t stop talking about her to me about how much he wanted to snuggle her and how he jacked off to thinking about her because he liked her so much etc.. He’d cry to me about it but I was always supportive and comforting because I cared about him.
Soon he turned this like onto me. I didn’t know how to respond to some things he’d do or say. He would reach under the desk to tickle me. That later went to grabbing my upper and lower thigh with me uncomfortably shifting away in an obvious manner. Weird touching wouldn’t end there though when he’d also grab the back of my neck to somewhat ‘paralyze’ me and make my head hit the table, saying how it was hot how submissive I looked when he did it. He ended up making more comments about how much he liked me and how he wanted to grope me w my parents around.
I told him I was uncomfortable and started acting very hostile when he was around me, saying stuff like ‘why tf are you over here? I’m not talking to you at all’. (I moved my seat in biology 3 times because he kept moving back over to around where I was.) He’d raise his hands in defense and walk away while making comments on how mean I was being. I told the Social Worker and she said that ‘boys will be boys’.
Sooner or later he ended up avoiding me which I was happy w, though maybe a month later I met a few girls who said that they had similar experiences with him. I ended up telling them that we should go to the dean and talk about what happened since he still did that stuff. There’s a lot more id like to explain but I can’t really remember the whole thing.
There was a police investigation and he ended up being kicked out and he can never come back. I feel bad getting him kicked out of a good school though I didn’t like how he was trying to seduce erryone. (I have a friend named E (M) who joked that he was drunk, to where G forcibly kissed him)
I was talking to some of G’s friends and they said that I was an asshole bc he was just being a freshman, though I didn’t think it was right of him to do since a lot of people told him that he was making them uncomfortable with his touching. He also sent nude photos of himself to a girl who didn’t want it and she felt inclined to do so back since he’d pester her so much at school.
AITA?
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{
"description": "telling my boyfriend if he doesn't stop playing video games then I'm leaving him",
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AITA for telling my boyfriend if he doesn’t stop playing video games then I’m leaving him?
|
Okay to preface, we have a four month old daughter. My boyfriend [27M] is in school full time right now, and I am on maternity leave.
For the last couple years, we’ve been arguing over the frequency in which he plays video games. I’ve often felt as though I take a back burner position to his games, and am often told things like, “well if you can find something for us to do then I’ll hang out with you but if not then I’m going to play.”
Since the baby has been born, I’ve been getting more upset about this. It’s frustrating to take care of her all alone all day long and then he comes home and hops on. Less than a week ago, I got very mad at him and told him that it was inappropriate for him to be spending hours at a time on his game while leaving me alone with the baby. He agreed.
Fast forward to today... he gets home from school, and the baby is hungry. She takes about 10 minutes to eat. So he leaves to go play a 40 minute game. In that time the baby puked on me and herself, I had to strip her down and wipe her, then go downstairs to get a change of clothes. When I came back up she was fussing/crying on her mat while he played his PlayStation 10 feet away. I told him as soon as I got upstairs that I was upset about the game... 20 minutes later, he’s done and doesn’t understand why I’m upset.
I told him at this point I’m done having this argument. I told him it was the very last time I was arguing with him about it, and the next time i was done and gone. I told him I have more respect for myself than to stick around in a relationship where the other people obviously doesn’t care that his actions upset me.
He thinks I’m picking a fight. I’m saying, I literally told him 5 days ago that if he wants to play while she sleeps then that’s fine but other than that it’s guna make me mad. The fact that he still plays other than that just shows me he either doesn’t care, or doesn’t respect me enough to do something about it, so why should I stick around in a relationship like that?
So? Am I the asshole?
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"description": "being fed up with the way I was treated and losing my friends",
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AITA for being fed up with the way I was treated and losing my friends?
|
Thanks to my personality, I never had a good amount of friends. I don't remember having a good number of pleasurable experiences in the time I was a school, either, so any time I had a good conversation with someone, I was pretty glad.
I was bullied a lot...for a number of reasons. It eventually stopped and I ended up being seen by the rest of the class as someome....kinda valuable, I guess? But not in a good way. It was as if I was just...something they could always joke about...if it makes any sense.
I ended developing some sort of...indifference. I had to. Otherwise, I don't know.
I only had one friend (lets call him K) (still my only friend), and I frankly didn't give a shit about anything or about my class anymore.
Then came this guy in junior year (lets call him T). He was everything I wasn't. He became friends with K and eventually, he became friends with me, too.
This guy, is the kind of person that has friends everywhere. His social circle is massive. He has the kind of attitude that makes him comfortable to be with, and he's extremely outgoing.
I also ended up (at least partially) inside his circle of friends.
I can't lie. I was overjoyed. You have me, someone who was drowning in his own loneliness, finally being able to be with a group of people.
For two years, it was just....okay. I was nowhere as social as them but I always joined them when I was in the mood.
Then, it just ended. At first it was subtle, like minor misunderstandings.
Then, three months ago. I agreed to meet with him and a bunch of his friends. He told me to wait until they arrived at a friend's house so I could join. I waited....and waited...and waited.
A little over an hour later, I call. They were having dinner somewhere in the city while I was there, like an idiot, waiting.
I got annoyed, but It didn't last.
People like me...I guess we grow attached to easily. I let it slide because I didn't want to escalate the situation.
So, going back to my friend K. While living in the states (I'm from latin america) he had a girlfriend. Me, K, his girlfriend and T used to play online a lot. To put it simple and short, K's girlfriend ended up destroying him and dumping him. She moved from the states to my country. Less than a month after the breakup, she starts hanging out with T, and they get along pretty well.
By this point, I was questioning myself. I felt like I was slowly losing trust. This idiot girl is just a player, she used K and left him as a mess emotionally, she gets back to our country and immediatly starts hanging out with T, which he reciprocates as if he didn't give a shit about K.
Finally, a little over a month ago. I was having a pretty bad day. I had a monitor from the hospital that took my heart pressure every fifteen minutes, and it was downright annoying. I had two tests, and I was pretty anxious. I ended up calling T to meet up, so maybe we could have a chat and I could calm down a little.
He agreed, so I sat and waited.
He didn't come, so I went to class.
I waited for two hours.
When he finally answered, it was him asking me to give him a ride home.
I had enough.
I just ended it right there. No words. No excuses. He sent me a bunch of messages for like 2 mins and called me twice. Then he stopped. Called again two days later, and that was it. Didn't get an apology or anything. Just a bunch of excuses about how I was being...dramatic.
I lost. As always.
The guy didn't care a lot. He maybe did for maybe two days, but he has so many friends that he honestlty just forgot after he saw I wasn't going back.
K ended up confronting T about the girl, and he apologized. I never got an apology. Instead, I was just left alone. I asked one of his friends to retrieve something from him he had taken from my home without my permisson, and he ended up getting mad at me and leaving me, too.
I did everything I could to not lose him, too. He didn't give a single shit about my effort and ignored everything I had to say, siding with T. So I ended it all.
I was fine for a while. I concentrated on my work and my studies, and was looking forward for the holidays.
Then, they all met up yesterday. T, K and everyone else. They had a good time. And It all came back like a tsunami wave. The memories...and how easily I was disposed. I guess I was never an important part of them. Just some nice guy who happened to have a nice car.
It frustrates me to no end. Because this shit has happened my whole life. I'm always the second choice, I'm always someone who gets treated like shit and has to endure all of it.
I guess I'm just...me. And people will always see me this way.
Sorry. I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I had to let it out.
So....please. Tell me... I need to know. Maybe I'm just too dramatic.
The only good thing is that K still talks to me.
Am I the asshole?
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{
"description": "not visiting my sick grandma",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not visiting my sick grandma?
|
I absolutely hate the holidays for many reasons- my brother and I can’t stand each other, my family lives about 7 hours away, I have nothing in common with most of them, big dinners always bring back my eating disorder, the list goes on.
As usual my mom and brother will be visiting my grandparents and extended family. They all live close to each other but for me it’s a long drive so I end up having to stay 3 days minimum. My grandma is sick with pneumonia and her doctor says she’ll recover because they caught it early, but generally speaking she’s not doing too great.
I haven’t seen her in about a year or so and I do love and miss her dearly. She doesn’t have much time left and I’d like to see her as much as possible, but Christmas is a terrible time for me. I lied and told my mom I have food poisoning and can’t join. I used a similar excuse for Thanksgiving but I have serious stomach issues so it’s somewhat believable.
I’m feeling pretty guilty but my mental health goes down the toilet this time of year. Am I the asshole for not sucking it up and visiting her?
tldr: AITA for faking sick to get out of seeing my grandma for the holidays?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
RrfYCa8ZzCZeZfjJzAzh1hSddvveGB8r
|
b97lvx
|
{
"description": "calling 911 on a black man",
"pronormative_score": 269,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for calling 911 on a black man?
|
I’m a female college student with two other female roommates, one of whom was away on a trip and the other asleep.
I woke up to pee and had trouble falling back asleep at around 2:00AM I went into the kitchen for a snack. I saw a man looking in my window.
Not, like, looking in from the street—totally pressed up against the window. I didn’t turn the light on so as not to wake up my roommate, so was waiting to realize it was just a coat hanger or odd reflection. But then we made eye contact and he said “Let me in.” It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced. I went full panic mode. I was unsure if the window was even locked or if there were other men with him who might be trying other windows or the back door.
I SCREAMED as loud as I could and ran back into my room, locked myself in the closet, called 911, and texted my roommate to stay locked in, in case the scream woke her up.
Police came and they said they found the guy and he had a friend in a nearby unit that was expecting him and was supposed to leave the door unlocked and I guess he got confused because the doors look similar.)
Classmates have been calling me “Break in Barbie” because I assumed he was trying to break in. I did not even get a good look at him because it was dark, I couldn’t describe him at all to police, but I would’ve called no matter what color he was because I was so scared.
People I barely know are asking “Why couldn’t you have just asked him what he wanted before calling 911?” “Why didn’t you just talk to him like a human being?” “Why didn’t you wait a few minutes to see if he went away?” And accusing me of being racist and also saying things like “If it were a white man you wouldn’t have called the police I bet.” “Do you call 911 every time you see a black person?” And asking things like “Did you really think knocking on your window was reason enough to try and kill this guy? Because calling 911 on a black man is basically putting a gun in his mouth.” And the most common one “How did you know he didn’t need help and was trying to find a Good Samaritan?”
To try and see things from the other side — I do know people of color, especially black people, are in danger interacting with the police in a way their white counterparts are not. He didn’t brandish a weapon, he didn’t threaten to harm me, and he wasn’t inside my house. I can see how going right to calling the police could be an overreaction in hindsight.
The name calling and aggressive accusations hurt and are affecting my life socially. I’m hoping it’ll blow over. Even close friends who I’ve vented about this to have said “Yah but what you’re experiencing is nothing compared to what black people go through every day.” I recognize that unquestioningly and never drew that comparison, ever. But if people are interpreting it as such then I could see how to them I’d be a giant asshole and more.
So I guess AITA for calling 911, but also, AITA for being upset over the backlash?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
hnaevC62DMB6YyiWRi1zrO813NoBKUtg
|
aytnvi
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for my gas",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay for my gas?
|
This happened years ago but I still think about it. I always went to this gas station in my town, and it was usually pretty busy. Whenever I would go to any gas station, I would go inside, prepay with a twenty dollar bill, and then pump my gas. At every gas station I've been to, the pump shuts off when it hits the prepaid amount, and this gas station was no exception.
But one day when I was pumping my twenty dollars worth of gas, I noticed that the pump didn't shut off. I had prepaid with a twenty dollar bill just like all the times before, but this time it filled up my tank and I got maybe about 8 dollars worth of extra gas. I thought the pump malfunctioned, or the cashier didn't input my prepaid balance properly.
Either way it wasn't my fault and I thought it was my lucky day, like getting an extra soda from a vending machine. I was about to drive off, but then the cashier came running out saying I had to pay. I explained to him that I prepaid with a twenty dollar bill, and it wasn't my fault that the pump didn't shut off like it was supposed to. I didn't want to pay any more than twenty dollars, which I feel is the whole point of prepaying.
It definitely wasn't worth arguing over, and I did get the extra gas, so I just paid him and that was that. I didn't go back to that gas station though. But I'm still wondering, was I obligated to pay? Am I ignorant on gas station etiquette?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 14,
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"NOBODY": 5,
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
el8Kd1zvR2CfKVZfavQR0gObCazt7OdG
|
alog8c
| null |
AITA
|
Ok, so I was thinking about something that I did a few years ago. I'm don't remember every little detail, but I'll try and remember as much as I can. I'm not going to try and put the person in a negative light because I don't want to make this bias, which will be hard.
I think I was 13 and I used to take the bus to school. I was one of two girls on the bus and the others were boys. The girl, let's call her Susie, usually sat in front of or beside me.
I don't really know Susie, (she's in the year below me) but she's quite stand-offish (is that even a word?) and can be fairly rude. That's all I know about her as a person really. Anyway, we I was minding my own buisness listening to music as I usually did on the bus and she was talking with the others.
The bus driver stopped the bus at one of the stops to get off (this is because one of the boys on the bus was in the junior school and the bus driver had to make sure someone was there to pick the boy up or the bus driver had to walk the boy to his front door. The bus driver walked the boy to the door this time) and I was alone on the bus with the others.
I like sitting on my own and not talking to anyone on the bus at the end of the day because I get tiared from a lot of social interaction and can find it difficult. I struggle socially sometimes and don't understand some social interactions or why some people do somethings. This is just how I am and have always been. I can't help this.
I can't remember what Susie said, but she went over to where I was sitting and took my phone out of my hands. I don't like my stuff being randomly taken from me and makes me anxious when that happens.
The next thing that happened was her threatening to throw my phone out of the bus, I didn't know what to do in the moment, so I acted on impulse, punching her in the eye. I don't think I punched hard, but even so, I still punched her and should't've done that.
I did have her number and texted her over and over again saying I'm sorry and I regret what I did. I still regret it, but not as much now.
Usually the story would end there, and I would ask am I the asshole, but it doesn't.
When it was the summer production, and we were both working behind the scenes, I still felt guilty and wanted to make up for it.
She was the one who suggested she would slap me, which I see as fair (eye for an eye, which is something I believe). I agreed and said "do it" and she slapped me hard.
Am I the asshole?
Note 1:
I was talking to one of the girls in her class, let's call her AJ, and I remembered the story, so I asked AJ about what Susie said. AJ said that Susie told the story making me a evil person and her the victim. AJ also said that Susie still has a grudge against me.
Note 2:
I have posted this before but I didn't put AITA as the title, so that one couldn't be seen, so I'm reposting it with AITA as the title.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
32rZCzjPxR4rrdMcy1IJLcj4ayDcROjR
|
b554cw
| null |
WIBTA if me and my family moved out of the state? (Super long)
|
We are inbetween moving to north Florida or Oklahoma City. DH's company has places in both areas. (If anyone could give an idea on OKC thatd be great lol)
I'm tired of my family's crap and constant belief they can depend on me for every little thing. Something goes bad, call justbrowsing. Some one needs something call justbrowsing. Shit hits the fan? Call justbrowsing.
We want to meet up for a family thing? Do NOT call justbrowsing or older half sister.
Up until recently I've been the structural support for my family. Which includes older half sister from my dads 1st marriage, my little sister (LS from here) who is 17 almost 18, my papa and my mom. I have my 4 year old and my husband also. Hes a truck driver and gone constantly.
I'm tired of it, I've been taking care of my dad before he died, my nana before she died (both passed in 2018) and at the moment my papa and my LS. My mom is no where to be found, unless it makes her look good, even tho she's 30 minutes up the road. She even receives $600 from disability due to my dad for my sisters care and we (me and LS) see none of it, even tho I'm the one who cares for LS 100%. Food, clothes, medicine, everything.
Ive been talking to my DH for the past month or two and we've almost decided to GTFO of town and move out of state to get rid of the fuckery that is my family.
I feel bad because I would be ditching my LS to basically fend for herself because our mom has completely checked out as mother since I was capable of driving 7 years ago. At 18 my mom signed all the paperwork at her doctors offices so i could take LS to her appointments. Mom would let her live with her and care for her, but it would be a pain for LS to get to neccessary appointments. But at the same time, LS is selfish and has burnt the bridge between us before a few times. Honestly, I could write an entire drama series about my family.
I feel awful due to LS and Papa and the want to leave the state tonight if I could. I'm completely burnt out and tired of giving when I get no help. If DH told me he arranged proper care for papa I'd have our house packed to go before the morning. It's tearing at me that this is how I feel. I'm not sleeping or eating most days. My depression has kicked up and I'm just not myself anymore.
Even after all the drama, I still feel that it's wrong to feel like this.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
fiaqqcCmQHWH0iF5AjQf29mvKEot5OfP
|
asxh2v
|
{
"description": "not forcing my son to hang out with another kid",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not forcing my son to hang out with another kid?
|
My son started a new school last year (grade 4) and quickly made friends with a couple of kids one being the kid (a girl so I will call her the girl) he no longer hangs out with.
When the first met my son and the girl got a long great they'd hang out with another boy after class and all was good. Near the end of the year my son was to be her one friend she got to invite during her sisters birthday party. I was invited to stay as well and I got along ok with the mom. The mom seemed to have to decided that since our kids were best friends we were besties too. I am a single mom, I already have a strong group of friends, plus I work, go to school and volunteer. The mom seemed very put out that I didn't have time to do weekly dinners and such. I tried to when I could, but other than the fact that we both have kids we have nothing in common and I just never felt like we clicked as friends. After she made some comments to my son about how "I never do anything" after I explained that I was working on my thesis and couldn't go out I was pretty much done with her.
My son and her daughter had been butting heads since the beginning of the school year (grade 5). They had been put in other classes and my son had started to make other friends, but still spent most of his time with her. She had begun lying about a whole bunch of little things to get her way pretty much constantly (I had witnessed this behaviour on multiple occasions) and after months of calling her out on it and giving her many chances to stop doing it my son stopped being friends with her.
After a few days of my son refusing to give in and bring her friend again the mom called me up and demanded to know why our kids were fighting because her daughter told her she had no idea what was going on - there is no way she didn't know my son called her out on it almost everyday. At first I played dumb because I didn't want to get involved with a kids fight, but my son told me to tell her what was going on so I did. She claimed that her daughter didn't lie and must have been playing around and my son took it the way. I told her that they'd figure themselves out and I am not getting involved. The mom seems to think that I am not doing enough as a parent by letting him throw this friendship away.
AITA for being secretly glad this friendship is over because I don't want to hang out with the other mom? I didn't do anything to push him away from this girl, but I didn't really encourage him to fix the friendship either, I just let it play out with no intervention from myself.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
I0ZY1Enkf5W3D5t94HpXw7pqJPIwwJDi
|
ap01jf
|
{
"description": "wanting my friend to loose a lot of money",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting my friend to loose a lot of money
|
He’s 16 and shows off thousands of $ everyday which he says is his. People who are less fortunate then get the most shit. If someone who was more money then him comes up he’ll just ignore them. I want him to loose a lot of money so he’s not like this in the future AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
qkUJDH3tdVtcVnkxMQm7ozyqpMVmbMY3
|
a7mqh4
|
{
"description": "not returning a Refund to my roommates from utilities",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA If I Didn’t Return a Refund to my Roommates from Utilities?
|
This is my first post, sorry for mobile formatting!
I live with my GF, her sister, and one other person in a reasonably nice apartment. For whatever reason, none of them are very responsible and particularly not responsible with bills and utilities. This is only the second time that I’ve ever lived in a place that had utilities separate from the bill and the first place was with my GF and her sister, so I am no more knowledgeable than they are, plus I’m a foreigner and they’re all from the UK, where we live.
I’ve set up all the utilities and regularly do gas/electric readings, pay the internet and water bills and come to them with the totals at the end of the month. I’m not fond of the way the gas/electric company creates bills because they’ll debit you an estimated amount each month and then either return the difference or charge you more when they do come and do a reading.
My GF, her sister, and I are all very conscientious about energy usage and make sure to keep all the lights and heating off. The other roommate is a mess, when it comes to everything really (leaves lights on, spills food everywhere, slams doors). Either way, we’ve managed to keep our bill way below the estimate so that each person would probably be getting back £40.
Now the reasons I don’t want to give the refund back are first, because I work from home and the others often treat me as a house boy or servant. We are required in our contract to perform regular duties on and around the apartment, like sweeping up leaves, cleaning specific parts of the flat, and maintaining appliances. They are daily chores and no one else keeps up with their duties which forces me to take over (our landlord lives above us and can tell when certain things aren’t completed). I also regularly clean the flat because the fourth roommate is frankly disgusting and I don’t want to have to live in her food waste or have bugs/rodents (it’s a basement). I’ve complained multiple times but nothing has come of it. There are other things, like basically being a doorman and always dealing with the landlords even though on the tenancy agreement I’m only a guest because I’m a student. I normally wouldn’t mind doing these things but at least one of the other roommates is always in the apartment and it’s usually that fourth roommate who will hide in her room anytime the landlord comes around and will ignore the door bell (I’ve had to sprint out of the shower or jump off the toilet multiple times to get her packages only to hear her scurry out after I’ve received them and left them in the living room).
The final kicker is shopping. I regularly shop because the nice store is near my gym. I always like to keep up on buying things like toiletries and condiments because I don’t want to be sitting on the toilet without any mayo (just kidding, I don’t want to wait until there’s no toilet paper to buy more when I need it now). In our last place with my GF and her sister I was down around £300 split between the two of them for regular things like ketchup, salt and pepper, toilet paper, garbage bags, laundry detergent and things like that. I’d try to wait until we’d run out of things to force them to buy it but it didn’t make a difference. It would just mean I didn’t have anything to wipe with.
The same thing started happening in this apartment where everyone was using the supplies I’d buy. I finally got tired of it and have kept all my things separate from everyone else, still my GF has seen our other roommate steal my ketchup and mayo amongst other things. I’ve probably only lost about half of what the refund actually is while in this apartment.
So would I be the asshole if I kept the refund to make up for all the work I do and the supplies people have taken without asking or paying for?
TL;DR
WIBTA for keeping utility bill refund as compensation for the work I do around the flat/the food/supplies people have used without paying me.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
3LXOfuPsCrtYmWwd18WL9z1PzoPrVqOd
|
auasre
|
{
"description": "farting in 7th grade and blaming it on the resident dipshit",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for farting in 7th grade and blaming it on the resident dipshit?
|
When I was in 7th grade, there was this fellow, we'll call him Z. Z was a strange fellow. He had freckles, ginger hair, and had this weird accent when he spoke that sounded like it was German or Eastern European. He would frequently tell people to "shut up" even if what they said had no bearing on his existence, and he would get angry for no reason. At times, he would point his fingers at random kids and threaten to kill them, and he would (hilariously) tell kids who were far bigger than him that he would "kick their butt." Well, one day, I was in our PE class (that I shared with him), and he had a spot on the gym floor just inches from my own. We were doing situps, and...at one point...the worst happened: I let one rip. It was loud, and it cut like a knife. This kid in front of me, K, turned around and asked if that was me. Already embarrassed, I pointed out Z, and pinned it on him. Before I knew it, a significant amount of the class turned and started chastising him for blowing a big one he did not commit.
They never found me out...unless one of you is reading this sub, of course. Then, ya got me. Lol.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
SWHlEt5CDZ4sWag94TA7zdnDFyBEcDsB
|
aq999o
|
{
"description": "not playing a $60 game my friend bought me without asking if I wanted it",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not playing a $60 game my friend bought me without asking if I wanted it?
|
To preface, my friend and I are mostly over this. We both think the other’s wrong, but we’ve moved past it. Here’s the story
I was over at a friends house and we were just kind of chilling and playing video games. We go on a walk and on the walk he basically decides “I’m going to make you play my favorite game of all time.” I knew what game it was, and I already knew I didn’t like it, since I had actually bought it before and promptly deleted it after playing three hours. He made me play it for a while and I did my best to pretend to like it. I should add here that my friend is VERY passionate about this video game. Basically an insult to the game is an insult to him. I didn’t really hate my experience, but I was totally burnt after two hours.
This is where the conflict comes in. He asked me what I thought and I said something along the lines “I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would.” I chose my words very carefully to show that I didn’t really like the game while still trying to protect his feelings. I guess I did too convincing of a job, because he thought I genuinely liked it and his immediate response was to go online and ask if he should buy it for me. (He can definitely afford it better than me) I tell him that I wouldn’t if I was him because I’m not quite sure I would play it a lot. He basically told me it was too late because he had already bought me the game.
Fast forward a few weeks. The game is delivered, he gives it to me, and I play it for about 90 minutes before putting it away. The next week he asks me how far I am in the game, and he gets extremely offended when I tell him I’m not really playing it because I don’t like it. He basically accused me of lying to manipulate him into spending sixty dollars on me. I didn’t even want him to buy me the game. My argument is that He loves it so much he can’t imagine anyone else disliking it, so he convinced himself that I did too. He’s really upset about how his money went wasted (he bought it online so it’s non-refundable), but I told him that it’s his fault for buying it without being sure I wanted it. AITA?
TL;DR: Friend asked if I liked a game that he loves, I say it’s ok, he buys it for me without me asking for it, I don’t play it, he’s mad that he wasted money.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
2ai2IPEZ4A8HUICaOWDsO7HeDDaWr1Sm
|
avxjlq
|
{
"description": "not tipping delivery driver when I assumed the delivery fee was going to him",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not tipping delivery driver when I assumed the delivery fee was going to him?
|
So I've been using this app for a while but only recently have they added big fees on delivery. Since this is my first time ordering from this restaurant, I noticed that the delivery fee was $6.00 which I thought was pretty high for $18.00 worth of food. I assumed the delivery fee was going to the driver, so I didn't tip. When I got the food, I got a lecture from the driver about how they work off tips and that I should tip next time. The driver drove \~3 miles for refrence.
I would have tipped if I had known but I didn't have cash on me when I picked the food up. Should I manually contact the app to tip the driver? The thing is, the customer service for this particular delivery app is terrible (from past experience), so I don't know how to contact the driver in an efficient manner.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HGAg4uEa402ydE9b0znvW9vgi2znUNdi
|
a4idg1
|
{
"description": "telling my gf she is being sexually selfish",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for telling my gf she is being sexually selfish
|
22M here, I’ve been with my gf (21F) for almost a year now. Rewind to a month ago or so, I came over to hang out and we were making out a little and eventually she decided she wanted to use her vibrator. She uses it and when she’s done, states she’s tired and lays down to fall asleep. I let her know that I’d prefer if she used her vibrator on her own time instead of leading me on then shutting down after using the vibrator. Fast forward to recently, same thing happens and I let her know we talked about it and that I didn’t appreciate it at all. I am ok with her using her vibrator on her own time or using it as foreplay but it seems selfish to me to have the energy to use a vibrator but ignore your S/O who is right next to you, especially after leading them on. It just hurts knowing that she would rather use a toy and that sexually this is going to be tough to work out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZdjtclH6u6HrrtayRzZiBLSyFk5fL2rd
|
akj1j3
|
{
"description": "asking cousin to return Christmas present",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I asked cousin to return Christmas present?
|
Hi! I'm not trying to sound ungrateful or anything because I am grateful for the things she has gotten me! She has gotten me a few items from a Google Home to some collectibles from a Game Dev convention, however there is one item that she has gotten me that I can't see myself using and don't think I ever will.
She got me a Hershel backpack and I know that it's one of the big brands that cost a good bit for it so that's another reason I would like to ask to return it. The backpack really doesn't fit my style and I have a backpack that is still relatively new that I still use. I would hate to see the backpack she got me to sit around and collect dust so I was thinking about asking her to return it for me and she can either give me the money or keep it for herself because I know that it does cost a bit!
This has happened before with clothes she has gotten me but I just returned them without her knowing because she gave gift receipts. She only knew because she asked herself if I like the clothes she gotten me and I told her that they really weren't my style and she said she kind of knew that they weren't. She didn't seem upset about it or anything and she's understanding but I still kind of feel like a jerk for returning them. That's why I'm wondering now if ATA for returning her previous year's gift and if I ask her return the backpack?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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