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b3d2xx
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{
"description": "wanting to make my own food",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting to make my own food?
|
For some context, I am 18 years old, going to college in the fall, and am getting back into cooking. My late grandma, god rest her soul, was a home ec teacher, and started teaching me how to cook and bake at a young age. Therefore, I have a big appreciation for food. After she died a few years ago, I kinda stopped cooking as much because of a depressive episode. I’m now getting back into it, and while there’s a few things I have to re-learn, I think I’m halfway decent. The problem is my stepmom. She cannot cook at all. Her food is dry, under-seasoned, and either undercooked or burnt, no middle ground. I eat it to be polite, but lately I’ve been preparing my own dinners, just so I don’t have to go to bed hungry. I usually just eat my dinner before she gets home, and then say I’m not hungry when she prepares dinner. The problem arose when my brother came home for spring break a couple days ago. I was making pasta, and he asked if he could have some. Since I had to double the recipe suddenly, this threw me off schedule, and my stepmom came home when we were eating. She flipped out about how it’s so disrespectful that I don’t appreciate what she does for this family and that she slaves away making food for me. My brother pointed out that we never ask her to make food, she just does, and she went off in to her room and hasn’t spoken to us since. AITA for making my own food?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
s1kF4At1Lg8fSOs7L6hx12VOt5zalBoI
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axdysw
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{
"description": "not visiting my grandparents because my grandmother is an indoor chain smoker",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I don’t visit my grandparents because my grandmother is an indoor chain smoker
|
The story starts about a year and a half ago when I was out of state for work. My wife 3 month old daughter were going to visit my family out of state on their way to visiting me on my work trip. A couple of days before the trip my mom tells my wife that during her visit they are going to visit my grandparents. My grandmother is a huge chain smoker, and to make matters worse she smokes indoors. My daughter has recently recovered from pneumonia and croup, so my wife was not on board with being stuck in a smoker’s house for several hours. (It was early winter, so going outside to hang out was not an option).
This started a big shit show between my parents and my wife. My mom (who has asthma btw) claimed that she grew up in a smokers house so it shouldn’t be a problem. My step dad and mom claimed that my wife was “a new mother” and that she was being overprotective. My wife tried to explain to them the dangers of secondhand smoke over the phone and through shared articles, but they took it as here acting snobby. While it sucked being in the middle of this, I sided with my wife. Long story short she didn’t visit them that winter, and as far as I know my parents never told my grandparents why.
Fast forward to this week. My daughter is 19 months old, and still has issues. We actually have an appointment to see a pediatric pulmonologist this month. Oh and my wife is 20 weeks pregnant. We are planning a trip to visit my family. My grandparents are in a new house, but grandma still smokes indoors. This time my parents said they “don’t want to get in the middle of things,” because they know my grandparents are gonna invite us over. They want to leave it up to me to tell them why we won’t. Which is fine I guess.
WIBTA if I tell my grandparents that we aren’t going to visit their house but they can come see us at my parents? I have a feeling that even when I explain to them why, they are still gonna be hurt and pissed off.
Just looking for an outside perspective. Thanks in advance. And sorry for any typos (I’m on mobile).
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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a6uuxw
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{
"description": "not considering myself an abuser",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not considering myself an abuser
|
A few months ago I broke up with my partner of two years. Lets call him Greg. It was not a smooth break up (as most go) and was sudden as I had begun to realize that I was not happy with the relationship. I started to notice reasons why we were not compatible and that we would fight a lot. I told my partner (Greg) these things and we followed it by fighting about our compatibility and whether or not we fight a lot (a very ironic fight)
Following the break up I would receive up to ~20 messages a day about how I destroyed them and they wanted to hurt/kill themselves. Most of the messages were about how I was a selfish and awful human for breaking up with Greg (I can attach screenshots if requested). I tried to help as much as I can, but it's difficult to be both the villain and the hero. So I started to reach out to his friends to ask them to be there for him.
Currently the situation stands that I slept with my best friends ex (I very much know that IATA for this; it's not the point of the discussion). Their ex also happens to be acquaintances of Greg. My friend (ex friend?) posted the situation all over social media. So it's become a social issue.
After word got out that I had slept with said human, Greg sent the following message to all of our mutual friends:
""This message is for mutal friends of my ex,_____. It sucks I have to do this but _____ has recently displayed narcissistic and abusive tendencies within my friend group to a point that I can't ignore, my personal abuse aside. People are evidently objects to be used until she's done with them. I can explain further if nescessary, but I would reccomend cutting her out of your circle if you don't support abusive behavior. Sorry for the drama but I can't let this type of behavior within my circle. Thanks.""
AITA?
Tl;dr: I broke up with my partner and a few months later slept with my best friends ex. This resulted in /my/ ex sending a message to all our friends calling me abusive.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 2
}
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 3,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
SZs6ADxwmLRn6R7wD8ePwDuwVPTUFIXA
|
b9wtno
|
{
"description": "being jealous of my SIL",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being jealous of my SIL??
|
I have been with my husband for 13 years, we have 2 beautiful children. We live near my family but about an hour away from my husbands family, so we usually see them on holidays or weekends stopovers. I used to have a good relationship with my mother in law, she has 5 sons and I was her “first daughter”. Things got slightly frosty after she took offence to something I said innocently and she called my husband to complain about it. We are nice enough to each other now and she would dote on my children whenever we came over. 2 years ago, her youngest (favourite) son met a girl. After just 2 months she moved into the family home with them. A month later she was pregnant but unfortunately lost the baby. A few months later they bought a house together around the corner from my mil and became pregnant again. They have since become engaged. Since my sister in law came on the scene, I don’t really have much contact with my mother in law anymore, but I am subjected to daily photos on social media of them doing things together. My BIL’s baby is 1 and is at my mother in laws most days (from what I can see on social media). When we stayed there for Christmas, my BIL & SIL stayed over too, even though they live around the corner, meaning we had no time quality with my husbands parents and my children hardly saw their grandmother as she was always fussing over the 1 year old. Even if we were in one room and my SIL & baby were in another, my MIL would stay with my SIL, ignoring my children. During the weekend, we asked if she would be able to look after our children (since she hardly sees them) so we could have a weekend away (our first in 10 years) but was told she couldn’t handle our 5 year old for a full weekend but would happily mind our 10 year old as they’re no bother. She then went on to say how much she looks after the 1 year old during the week so she was tired at the weekends. In the end, both myself and my husband felt uncomfortable with the exclusion and left a day early. Since then i feel I am bombarded with constant stories & pictures of the fun things they do together. They even came to our home town to pick a wedding dress but didn’t come to see us. She no long FaceTimes my children & whenever i get them to FaceTime her she brings my SIL or the 1 year old into the call with her. I have told my husband I will not force my children upon her if she so obviously has favourited the 1 year old, and therefore will not be visiting over Easter as we usually do. My husband thinks I’m being the a-hole and should let it go, even though he hardly ever wants to visit home and it’s usually me that pushes the visits.
TL;DR AITA for feeling pushed out by my MIL to make way for my new SIL & her baby
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
9vfqwi
| null |
WIBTA if my housemate covered the whole cost for carpet cleaning
|
This is my first post here so I apologise for any mistakes. My boyfriend, my good friend, and myself moved to a new house about 3 weeks ago. We have all lived together for about 2-3 years in the past so when we needed to move out of our old place we all thought it just seemed kind logical to all move together.
I got a cat about 3 years ago and my housemate got a new cat just before we moved after her old cat passed away. The problem is that this new cat (which I love despite everything) likes the use the carpet as her litter box. In the old house it wasn't as bad as we were renting from a friend who wants to get rid of the carpet anyway. But as we are no longer renting from a friend, it's starting to stress me and my housemate out that her cat is staining the carpet. When we left the old place we all shared the cost of a carpet cleaning evenly. Now my friend would like to get a carpet cleaner in the new place just so the stains can be removed before any permanent damage is done. So would I be an asshole if I didn't offer to help with any of those costs? My cat threw up once on the carpet but it was taken care of straight away and didn't leave any stains unlike her cat's accidents. Normally I would be happy to chip in regardless but I'm quite strapped for cash at the moment. If I am the asshole, please let me know as I don't want to create any tension between me and my friend
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
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RIGHT
|
HZsLEFWTpgYdIHt487YnlJ98XMHncJmX
|
9woh4x
|
{
"description": "kicking a colleague from my seat in front of ceo",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for kicking a colleague from my seat in front of CEO?
|
So here's the story. I used to work at a kind of a new IT startup that struggled with some organizational issues. Recently a new CEO was hired and he arranged a meeting with everyone in a room where we all work. When I came to the meeting, I asked my superior colleague to get out of my table in a strict manner and he did. Yet the new CEO witnessed the scene, started arguing, saw huge disrespect in my doings (and yes my act was rude, emotional and inappropriate and I do regret it). As you might've guessed by the end of the day I was fired despite the fact that my "offended" superior colleague and others tried to protect me.
Yet I do understand that it was inapprorpriate and made without thinking, I'm surprised that this CEO did not ask about reason and didn't let me explain myself. I was responsible for processing big amounts of data and used to leave the laptop running for the night with launched code on it that did vast amount of work. And before the story happened, twice my laptop was taken away in the morning and my desk was occupied which ruined al the work overnight and forced me to start over. I'm confused I was not asked for an explanation, or it does not even matter?
The fun part is that now other colleagues ask me to help with the project since they do not really know the tecnology stack.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
aj5LThXNx3iD74uSk4wJ31V7vTKlodkl
|
adv3yr
|
{
"description": "completely losing interest in her, and planning to stop talking to her",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for completely losing interest in her, and planning to stop talking to her
|
So, me and a girl we can call Trish have had this on/off thing for close to a year. It's a weird ass relationship, and it's obvious to everyone, even complete strangers that she is really, really into me, like beyond a crush or wanting to hook up.
I do like her company in small doses, but if I have to interact with her too much, I get really annoyed with her. A few days back we spent the day together and got fairly physical (no sex tho), but we spend a long time just holding eachother, and holdin hands. I fucked up, she caught me off guard and I regret that day.
I met her again yesterday, and she was acting really odd, I think that day we spent together made a mark on her. Anyway, I started gettin annoyed with her right away, and just kind of stared at my phone to get her to stop talking to me.
My mind drew fucking blanks, I had nothing I wanted to say to her, I just wanted this meeting of ours to end. I had 0 interest in speaking to her, and I don't even bother with messages anymore.
To b honest I think its best if I just ignore her until she gets the hint, even when she approaches me in public. I dislike her company, but if I tell her that she's gonna go apeshit. Am I the asshole for essentially planning to stonewall her, even though we ad a really special day a few days bac?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
rqggD8GLo7G4rbtYxOi0pk9GEKv3sev2
|
b1ujrg
|
{
"description": "retelling the story about how I gave my friends boyfriend a handjob",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for retelling the story about how I gave my friends boyfriend a handjob?
|
18 year old gay guy here. I was at a party not too long ago. I was blackout drunk. I wake up the next day with a vague memory of touching a penis. I check my mystory (Mystory on snapchat is basically a timeline where when you put out something EVERYONE in your friend list can see it) where my friend and her boyfriend talk about how I gave him a handjob. She thought it was hilarious because I was gay and he didn't mind. I was ashamed and told her to apologize for me. he said it was alright
So the next day at school, we talk about what we did during our respective weekends. I show them the mystory, and one of my friends is like "omg, I know that guy!" She then proceeds to snitch on me, telling it to both of them, and my friend and her boyfriend tears me to shreds on messenger for an hour straight. The main problem here seems to be that ive began "spreading rumors" of what happened".
Eventually her boyfriend admits that he overreacted and apologizes but she is still being a bitch. Like what the hell? Lets look at the facts here
* I retold a story which she put out on MYSTORY for everyone to see
* Her boyfriend was cool with it and apologized for being so angry
* Since its her boyfriend that was the victim, why is she STILL angry when he said it was fine?
This is so shitty because she's told all of our mutual friends and i've been blocked by like 20 people on snapchat, which is basically half of all my friends. How am I possibly the asshole here? Are women always this dramatic?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
4zWFFTwzZZLO8aluLJyilzIot8cm73vc
|
a6x79e
|
{
"description": "wanting to spend the last New Years Eve of college with my friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to spend the last New Years Eve of college with my friends
|
Ok so this girl and I haven't been dating very long (less than a month, but we talked for a bit before), and she just asked if I wanted to spend New Years with her instead in some remote remote location, so it'd just be the two of us. Any other day I'd love to go camping with her, but, as seniors, this may be my last chance to have a New Years Eve with my friends from the past 4 years. I've also definitely told her what my plans were, and she seemed excited to spend it with our friends.
Am I wrong to prioritize my friends here? Isn't it a little unfair to make me choose between her and friends I already had plans with?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
eOtFQZHmDLrIdt5xRGliOKxHw3HWFdhZ
|
aklbco
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that people who believe star signs define them are deluded",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that people who believe star signs define them are deluded?
|
So she's super into star signs and I told her that in my mind people who believe the stars alignments define them are deluded. She exploded at me saying that at me can believe whatever they want, which I also believe 100%, she made it seem like I was the asshole, am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
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}
|
WRONG
|
wzJoY5Q8yQnUq1LsYmcDPaxBvRb6WNdl
|
avz5z7
|
{
"description": "being as \"proud\" of my husband as he is of me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being as “proud” of my husband as he is of me?
|
Throw away account because reasons. On mobile, forgive the format. Tl/dr at the end.
Background: I’m a grad student, I work, and I’m the “on-call” parent for our four month old. I do a lot of work from home, so I can divide my attention, for the most part, between everything. Sometimes, I need a hand when I have big projects or deadlines to meet. My husband usually works 60+ hours a week (for which I am eternally grateful, he’s amazing, and really busts his butt for us), getting up quite early, so I’m usually the one up with the baby at night, too.
Onwards to today:
My husband took today off of work because I have midterms and a massive work project converging on Friday, and our usual sitter was unavailable. I was home and able to feed the baby, but my husband was in charge of entertainment etc. Kiddo’s been fussy for a bit (teething, yay.), but is typically easy going.
Anyway, I finally get through all of the insanity of work, and my husband proceeds to start telling me, in detail, everything that he did with/for the baby. I smiled, told him that he did great, and took the kiddo for some cuddles. My husband looked hurt and said, “Hey, I did my best. I’m really trying.”, like I somehow hadn’t acknowledged him enough. I already thanked him profusely yesterday and this morning for staying home with our kid, and let him know he did awesome.
I don’t really feel the need to kiss his feet and give him a gold star for doing what I do every day. I felt like I recognized his efforts in an acceptable manner. AITA?
Tl/dr: I usually split my time between work/school/baby. Husband stayed home today to be with the baby, then became hurt when I didn’t acknowledge his efforts enough. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
FfZYsIrVdh32pV0ftfCinnkQMmjRUulS
|
aka65b
|
{
"description": "telling my father that he embarrasses me in front of the people at my school",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for telling my father that he embarrasses me in front of the people at my school?
|
To give context: I’m a teenage girl and I go to a pretty judgemental private Catholic school where all the “popular” girls all secretly hate each other, and their families are pretty well off. These girls go to cotillion classes and all that jazz. The school is probably 80% white, 10% Vietnamese, 5% hispanic, and 5% other. Girls are very judgemental and you can’t really trust anyone because they do a lot of petty things.
I’m Vietnamese, and my parents are immigrants from Vietnam. My mom owns a nail shop and my dad works as a full time employee at a grocery store. My father attended college, but had to drop out cause no one could afford his tuition even though it was $1200 a year and it was a community college. A lot of the kids that go to my school have parents that are lawyers, government workers, or military so I feel like they judge me when I tell them my parents’ occupations.
My family definitely isn’t poor now, but we definitely can’t afford to buy airpods, IPhone XR’s, and expensive sneakers like the other kids. I’m okay with that cause I like the concept of minimalism and I like the konmari method of living. I’d like to think I’m mature for my age but I sound cocky. Sometimes the other girls will tease me lightheartedly cause I don’y have airpods or cause my phone has a headphone jack. (I have an IPhone 6)
Anyways, to make ends meet and afford non-necessities, my dad goes around to all the Home Depots in the area, buys the stuff that is on clearance (sometimes it’ll be stuff like a panini press or sink faucets for 1 cent) and he’ll resell them on Craigslist.
I get annoyed because he’ll resell the items at the grocery store parking lot next to my school, and I’m embarrassed that everyone sees my dad doing “shady” business. The girls at my school are pretty judgemental and always talk about people behind their back.
Today I went to a basketball game, and right afterwards my dad sold something right in the parking lot of the school while my friends were entering their cars. I’ve talked to him about how it embarrasses me, but he just doesn’t seem to listen. I started yelling at him cause I was embarrassed that my teammates would judge me or mock me behind my back. Or maybe spread rumors about me.
I got into a pretty big fight with my dad and told him about how he embarrasses me. He also has a pretty big smoking habit, and none of the other girls’ parents smoke cigarettes. I’ve had a girl come over to my house and mention my dad’s smoking habit with disgust since we had an empty coke bottle outside that my dad threw away his cigarettes in. Ever since then, I’ve been paranoid about having people over to the house.
He also works the night shift so that he can pick me up from school, so he’s always sleeping in the living room after we go home. I never have people come over after school either cause they don’t understand. I also don’t usually go out on the weekends because my parents are working.
Anyways, the fight was pretty bad and he hasn’t talked to me in two days. This isn’t the first time we’ve had a fight due to his whole Craigslist thing. Idk what to do now cause I’m just tired of everything that’s been happening.
So am I an asshole for being a stuck up teenage girls who yells at her dad for trying to make ends meet?
TLDR; my dad resells things he finds on clearance, and I’m embarrassed cause there’s a lot of judgemental girls at my school who probably make fun of me because of it. He also has a smoking habit and has an irregular sleep schedule. Got into a fight with him and told him he embarrasses me.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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ya9XjhajcZ5y0B61fBgLTKW7w2wL3BS9
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afr2jj
| null |
AITA/AWTA: friend accuses us of being horrible friends for leaving her at a bar after she decided to stay and her later ending up at the hospital
|
All right sit down this is a bit of a long one.
First of all a little bit of set up:
I have a friend group that has 6 (used be 7 before this incident) people in it. We‘re all f 21/22 and know each other through school (been this friend group since we were 12). Another mutual friend of ours who used to be in our friend group before she moved away when we were 14 was staying with me.
There was what is basically a festival in our town that involves a lot of spots open to party at night which we all planned to attend. We met up at on of my friends places before but two of us couldn’t attend because they had already made plans to attend the festival with other groups. No problem since you usually run into each other at some point anyway.
On girl in our group let‘s call her Karen.
She had moved out of town to attend Uni and we did not visit a lot. Now that she was there we was talking all about how she was so exited for us to do a GIRL‘ s night. Us girl going out and having fun together.
Fast forward a few ours later.
At some point we had „lost“ some of our friends (they had stayed with other people they knew for a while. This is very common at that festival and to be expected) and had also run into the others several times.
Now myself, two others and Karen are at this place that is actually pretty shitty (lots of drunk men on their own and played shitty music). Every place that we went Karen immediately started hitting on some guy leaving the rest of us alone (on her so called girls night). Same at this place she is talking to a guy in the corner and we are on the dancefloor. I am bored and ask my other my friends if they want to leave, which they are ok with. So I Tell Karen that we‘ll be leaving soon (so that she can wrap things up). We end up staying a moment longer because on of our friends walks into the place with her boyfriend. But then I really want to leave so I tell Karen that we‘re leaving NOW and ask if she wants to come with us or stay and tell her that that other friend and her so are here. She stays. We leave meet on of our other friends(let’s call her Rachel) along the way have a great time and later go home. We didn’t run into Karen again that night.
Next morning I wake up to a long message from Karen in our group friends saying that we were asshole friends who left her alone and that she had to go to the hospital tonight. I was shocked and blamed myself for leaving her there and believing that I had truly been a horrible friend!
Until Rachel messaged the rest of us told us what had happened after we left.
She ran into Karen who had lost our other friend at some point and brought her home. Karen clearly was drunk and kept saying how she didn’t want to go home yet, but Rachel didn’t want to leave her there so she tricked her into going home by saying they were just making a little detour (into a completely different part of the city). When they reached Karen’s home she got super upset about how she shitty the evening had been and that all of us friends had abandoned her. She also started insulting Rachel (who had been her bbf since first grade and who had just brought her home safe) so loudly in front of the house that it woke up her parents who came outside to see what was going on. Once they came out Rachel decided to leave and let Karen’s parents deal with her. After she went inside with them she was so enraged still(or drunk who knows) that she smashed a glass and cut herself so badly that her parents had to take her to the hospital for stitches.
By the way when we last saw Karen at the shitty place she didn‘t seem very drunk (aka ok to still think normally) . She also has a history of not holding her liquor and acting out while drunk but I do not know about her insulting her friends or accidentally injuring herself while drunk before.
Now I do not think that IATA/WATA in this situation but I would like to here your take on this.
IATA/WATA for leaving her at the shitty place with another friend.
NTA
Or IMTA for wanting confirmation from the internet in my belief that I am NTA
To be fair This took place almost a year ago but I am honestly still pissed about this because Karen never apologized for it and when we saw her again at Rachel’s birthday a few months later she acted like nothing had happened. Since then all of us (including Rachel) have stopped contact with Karen.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nvBkKu2zCLns1mquv9xaDiUwaLbBEe3I
|
a8ld0e
|
{
"description": "calling ICE on my neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for calling ICE on my neighbor?
|
So this guy on my street keeps chickens in his backyard. Every morning between 5-6am they are so fucking loud. After enough nights of lost sleep I went to his house to try and see if there was any way to keep them quiet. Now this guy doesn't speak any english so he had one of his kids translate for me. He was very dismissive and just waved his hand in a "shoo" motion and his kid told me he wants me to leave.
I called animal control because where I live it's illegal to keep chickens in your backyard. They did nothing, didn't even come out to investigate. After several calls they basically told me they didn't have time for my bullshit.
So since nobody is willing to compromise or help, i called immigration and told them there was an illegal immigrant living there and gave them his address.
My girlfriend thinks I'm an asshole and I'm "harassing" this "poor family" when all I want is to fucking sleep.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 26
}
|
WRONG
|
cKSo4CsBu0lReQF9Q3sV7LFavwl80nh6
|
ba4y0x
|
{
"description": "getting upset that girlfriend talked about selling \"suggestive\" pics to some dude online",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset that girlfriend talked about selling "suggestive" pics to some dude online
|
so for context: my girlfriend and i have been together for over a year now and we have a very good relationship (despite being ldr), open communication, very clear boundaries and just supporting each other well - i am very happy in this relationship. my girlfriend is quite religious and not really an overtly sexual person, we have a comfortable sexual contact but havent been physical so far (which means we sext) because she wants to wait til marriage, which i respect completly
but this morning i wake up to texts from her sending me a screenshot of a convo she had with some dude that asked her to sell pictures of herself in a bathing suit, talking abt his porn addiction and what not inbetween and she seemed like? relatively receptive to it until he asked for straight up nudes where she got creeped out and blocked him...
her comment on those screenshots was like "haha lol i almost sold pics to this guy until he got creepy" where i am just at a loss of words bc
1) i think he was creepy before asking for nudes i mean that guy asked on advise on his porn/hentai addiction before going on before how beautiful and hot and what not she is
2) where is the difference between selling bathing suit pics and nudes in terms of creepiness, i mean its obvious what the guy wouldve done with those images...
3) the fact that she even entertained the thought of selling suggestive pictures of herself is very ??? to me, i feel upset and hurt
now i do not condemn sex work or selling nudes of urself or whatever at all, i think its a persons free decision and they may do as they like
however i think the persons partner should absolutely be ok with and aware of everything happening in this department - my girlfriend and i NEVER talked about this before, and we talk a lot about sexual boundaries, so i was really not at all considering something like this to even ever coming up since my gf is very conservative when it comes to sex
i messaged her and told her that i am upset and hurt, especially because she once told me she doesnt agree/gets upset when i call someone else than her "hot" in passing (and in more of a "oh this person looks attractive objectively" and not "i am attracted to them" way) which i stopped doing after that despite thinking it wasnt really an issue - but since it made my gf feel bad/upset i respected it, so i assumed the same would go for her
i am definetly going to talk to her about this issue further, i doubt that we wont be able to resolve it but i really need some input from a neutral source on this topic: do i have the right to be upset over my gf considering to sell suggestive pictures without my "consent"? shes her own person and if we werent together i would have no issue with this, or even if she wouldve discussed doing this with me before i would probably react differently. AITA for being upset at her for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9I6LZopIKD7gvskDt9qcb5K5pDq7brPN
|
b6t1uy
|
{
"description": "telling my friend she has big boobs",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend she has big boobs?
|
I'm a guy and was hanging out at a friends house. She and I were watching some show on tv and were also just talking about random things. She asked me if I thought she had big boobs. I laughed a little because I didn't feel comfortable answering something like that but I decided to say it. I said of course you have big boobs is that a rhetorical question? My friend is really slim but has really big boobs so I didn't really understand why she'd ask in the first place. She got mad at me and called me a pervert. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WX5EPztb2i0BzgqZ5mQBSJVv6eyYGgZC
|
b85rsp
|
{
"description": "trying to haggle with a seller on Craigslist",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to haggle with a seller on Craigslist?
|
So I'm posting here because a seller on Craigslist told me I was an asshole for wasting his time, and I'm really not sure if I'm an asshole or not.
​
I grew up in a area where haggling was normal. I moved to a big American city now. I want to have a fish tank in my home, so I started looking online for tanks for sale. A local store is currently doing a dollar per gallon sale (so a 10g is $10, 20g is $20, etc). Before going to the store I decided to check Craigslist for tanks for sale.
​
I sent a few sellers messages about there stuff because I know most of the time not all the sellers respond. One texted me back asking about pick up dates and I told him where I was located. After that I asked "Are you willing to negotiate on the price?" because it was more expensive then what I could get a new tank for. The seller said yes so I told him how much the tank was new. He then told me he would be willing to match the price of a new tank and that I would be paying more at a store due to taxes. I told him I wasn't interested in a used tank for practically the same price as a new one and he called me a dick and an asshole for wasting his time.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OcIm4u79AMx19oTQ5Hus35DYwTaJk3gp
|
anow61
|
{
"description": "changing seats on tube because of the person next to me",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for changing seats on tube because of the person next to me?
|
I’m sitting on the tube, waiting for it to depart to work this morning. Then a guy sits next to me but he smells quite badly and I become uncomfortable. So I get up and move to the standing area in the tube. I look back and although he doesn’t look like a homeless, his outfit and looks are not in a good condition either.
Now I feel slightly bad for potentially making him feel uncomfortable that he was the cause for me switching seats. Is this a normal feeling?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NhmTMk1x0HhSyzANV5e7aM0xDmStfiZC
|
ap6yz4
|
{
"description": "trying to enforce the rules in a religious retreat",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for trying to enforce the rules in a religious retreat?
|
Hi, I am a senior in high school. My school offers a retreat that has has been very productive for many kids, including me. I had already gone once and decided that I would go again as a leader. One of the main rules is that the students can't bring any type of electronics, such as phones or computers. As a leader, we were told to enforce these rules. This boy (Let's name him George) hid the phone from the teachers and brought it to the retreat. After the first night, George's roommate told us that he had brought his phone, as he was using it in bed. Me and a few other leaders decided to question him, and he denied having the phone several times. After a few hours, I entered Snapchat and saw George in the map (leaders could have phones), and I confronted him about it in front of the whole group of students. He again denies that he had the phone. When the students were eating, his roommate and I decided to go into the room to search for it. As he comes in, he gets extremely angry and throws a hard cover notebook and my face, and pushes me towards a night stand, breaking it into pieces. I stand up and agressively explain the reason for which he shouldn't have the phone. He then rushes towards me to push me against the broken night stand and I instinctively punch him with my weak hand in the face to defend myself. After that, I rushed out and told the teachers of the situation. Am I the asshole in this situation? Did I push too far? Thanks.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
X73R0XQ6VPgRwWAUL3NwksgOn2zFhcQz
|
arfw0a
|
{
"description": "wishing my parents weren't together",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wishing my parents weren't together?
|
Before you freak out, hear me out.
My mom is a sweet woman, very kind yet stern, and a good mother. My father on the other hand is rude, abusive and just a selfish, horrible person. I could be biased but, it's how he is.
My father messes with my mother mentally. He has physically and mentally abused two of my brothers (unsure of my other one, hes much older than I am), fucks with my mental state (I think abuse? I honestly dont know), and has actually hit one of my elder sisters friends a while back when she still lived with us. My father has accused my mother of cheating when she has no time and is currently traveling all the time for work. Currently, while mother is away, we have no money because of him quitting his job (this is like the 3rd or 4th time within 2 years), demands money from my mom and has added more stress on my mother, making her work two jobs while shes home.
My mother is not happy in the relationship. I know this for a fact because when we're in the car or alone, shes complaining about him. He never let's her go out with friends yet he does it all the time. He even leaves me alone at times. He does smoke marijuana as well, my mother absolutely despises it. At times he'll smoke with my 3 brothers. Its still illegal where I live.
They did try to get a divorce in 2010 (I think that was the year) but it completely wrecked my mom. It wasnt fun. At all. While they were separated, my dad was actually with another woman. They weren't even legally divorced yet. Though that stopped after a few months after they got back together. I really wish they hadn't. I tell my mom this all the time. It would probably be so much better for her to get away from him. Hes toxic and everyone in the family can see it. Even his own mother.
Am I really an asshole for wishing this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
I561JirAojlIZi2PLRQtllo6KUjAYjrd
|
b3nh8t
|
{
"description": "hating my \"surprise\" party",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for hating my “surprise” party?
|
*This is a throwaway account yada yada. If I’m declared an asshole I’ll be sure to apologize as soon as he gets home.*
Background:
My [23] boyfriend is notorious amongst our friend group to take party planning pretty seriously. He’s thrown at least 2-4 parties per friend costing around $300-$500 a piece. I’m the polar opposite, I enjoy having a small party, which consists of ordering food and weed for everyone to have a chill time. But since I knew my birthday was coming up I decided to not plan my own party and just let my boyfriend do his thing.
Incident:
I wake up on my birthday and my boyfriend doesn’t even remember to say happy birthday to me. Quite frankly I was hurt, since I expected anything birthday related from him and he normally goes above and beyond for all his friends. I said the normal good morning and went to my garden to water it. He opens the sliding door and yells “babe!” to which I turn to look, he says “I have to help *Lauren* fix her fridge, do you think you could help me with a couple of things?” I reply “sure” but I think he can tell I’m pretty bummed because he says “don’t worry, I’ll pick up Panda Express on the way home.”
I look at the list on the fridge and it’s an **assload** of stuff. Vacuum the floors, wash/put away the dishes, wipe down the dining tables and kitchen area and finally go drop off his aunts medicine to her. I was thinking that it would take at least 2-3 hours but I was fine with it because it was for our good mutual friend Lauren.
After all the home related tasks were completed I hopped into my car and drove to his aunts house. Upon returning home, I hear a loud **”SURPRISE!”** and see my whole friend group and my boyfriend with tons of gifts and food. The party was pretty awesome, he even hired a local band I enjoy. I was happy, but also I was upset as hell that I did all of those chores essentially for my own party. I brought this up to him afterwards, to which he replied I had no respect for his time and consideration he put into my party and that those chores would have been needed to be done regardless. If it was up to me though, I’d rather spend my birthday chilling rather than doing chores for a big party.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
pY4CsRT99Psj700SXkxzHMAlrO1iE6DF
|
b9oj2b
|
{
"description": "recoiling at my mom for making a racist joke in an asian restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for recoiling at my mom for making a racist joke in an Asian restaurant?
|
Last week, my family went to a Vietnamese pho restaurant with my older sister, who lives in a seperate house. As we were finishing, we were talking about whether or not we were gonna get dessert. Someone suggested a local chain that had drinks like bubble tea. Someone mentioned that they didn't like going there, because they felt left out because usually everyone was Asian, and we were the odd ones out. My mom then said "just show up with your eyes like this" and proceeded to reach to my face and pulled on my eye so it looked slanted. I was shocked that she would say something like that not only in public, but in a restaurant that serves food from a race that she's mocking. I pulled her hand off and said "No, don't touch me!" As we were getting up to leave, my mom put her hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged it off and left out the door on my own. While my mom was at the cash register, my older sister stopped me and said that I should respect my mom more, not mentioning what just happened minutes ago. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mHtTXAgzKbyBoMh5DZGSstQ1VaKJv1en
|
ao3bpe
|
{
"description": "turning the tables on my gf",
"pronormative_score": 330,
"contranormative_score": 39
}
|
AITA for turning the tables on my gf?
|
My gf has an ex that she talks to all the time, which I dont really mind. He lives a few hours away and they dont talk often, mainly about things back home, mutual friends, etc.
There is a girl I work with, let's call her A. A is very nice, and she and I have been friends since I started working at the place I do. I used to think she was cute, but I never made any moves on her. The only reason I have her number is for work related reasons, I have never even seen her outside of work.
Well the other day my gf stopped by while i was on my break and saw A and I chatting while we were eating lunch. She lost her shit, and was mad at me for the rest of the day. I asked her why she was allowed to be friends with a guy she used to fuck but I cant be friends with a girl who I never even asked on a date.
This situation hasn't come full circle yet, and i'm thinking about bringing it back up. I dont think it was fair, and I want to call her out on it. WIBTA for calling her out or should I let it be?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 319,
"EVERYBODY": 21,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 12
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 330,
"WRONG": 39
}
|
RIGHT
|
ngVBrKrzAaHatt6gSIN2eUObXP71tSbD
|
b1p9n7
|
{
"description": "asking for days off that only I can work and then quiting after they were given to me and taken away",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking for days off that only i can work and then quiting after they were given to me and taken away
|
So I work at a restaurant 6 days out of the week. I work so much because I'm the only person who can host in the morning, and expo on Friday and Saturday nights so that leaves Sunday as my only day off every week. When I first started working there I only worked 3-4 days a week, but as they got short of staff they told me they needed me to start working on my days off or I would loose all my shifts, so I did. At first I was still getting 2 days off a week so it wasn't too bad but I've been working 6 days a week for months now and there is no end in sight. I miss out on a lot of things because of this but being a good employee is important to me so I try not to let it bother me too much.
As of late however, I have been completely burnt out over this to the point where I am getting depressed and my anxiety is through the roof at all times. I have collage classes, family responsibilities, and a couple personal things that take up a lot of my free time so even on my day off I don't get much time to myself.
One week ago exactly I was at the absolute breaking point so I went in and told one of my managers that I need Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday off from now on for personal reasons. She said that as long as I could pull off the last schedule we had out at the time I could take those days off starting this Monday.
I was at work tonight and I went to thank one of my more asshole-ish managers for allowing me to change my schedule despite the fact that I was the only one who could work certain days. She told me that my other manager had not informed her of this and that the manager who approved it didn't have the authority to make decisions like that. I explained that I needed the days off to her again and told her that if they couldn't give me them off I would understand but I would have to turn my two week notice in.
She told me to email her the schedule I wanted and she would take a look at it, so I did. This upcoming weeks schedule just came out and I am scheduled both Monday and Wednesday so I guess it wasn't approved. Im going in tomorrow at 3 with my notice in hand but I can't help but feel like I'm being unreasonable.
Am I the asshole for even asking for days off that I know they need me on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ONaKovbtB9WA1ty4l8GmqSEpYMknNaWm
|
b39cq5
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk with my mother since our fight",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk with my mother since our fight?
|
This happened a few years ago. In short, my grandmother showed me the legal and medical documents that said why I was taken from my mother for a time when I was very little. (Negligence that resulted in abuse.) I asked my mother about it and she blew up at me simply for asking. The convo (to a tee because I can't stop myself from replaying it in my head every now and then):
​
Me: \*uncomfortable and visibly shaking from nerves\* Mom, I need to talk with you about something.
M (mother): \*not realizing I know\* Yes, Munchkin?
Me: \*deep inhale\* Yesterday, SF (stepfather) took me to see GM (grandmother).
\*M's eyebrows raise as I say this.\*
Me: While I was there, she showed me a box. In it were a bunch of papers about the circumstances leading to me being put into foster care. I'm not sure how much of it to believe, though. I wanted to hear your side of the story before deciding who to believe.
M: \*the realization setting in as she clacks her mouse down hard enough on the tray that it's loudly audible over the tv in the background\* What did you just say to me?
Me: I'm sorry, but I needed to know and I just want to hear your side of what happened.
M: You want to know *my side*?
Me: \*nods slowly\*
M: \*voice raised\* Have you ever considered how I feel? How I felt?
Me: \*deer in the headlights\* I just want to hear your side so that I can understand.
M: \*actually yelling, because SF said he could hear this from the garage\* Why would you make me go through that again? Being interrogated and having to answer for something I didn't do. If you saw the files, surely you must have seen the part where it said I took a polygraph which said I didn't know anything about it!
​
I turn and run to the garage, sobbing and apologizing for having even asked all the while, with her still yelling at me to "come back here right now!". I can still hear her yelling at me for a little bit while I'm sitting in the garage crying my eyes out. I had to be crying for a good 15 minutes at least, but when I eventually calm down, SF tries to comfort me with a Pepsi. I take a couple of my anti-migraine pills (I always carried them with me) since I can feel one coming. M comes in a little later takes my phone and tries to kick me out of the house in the literal middle of the night (all this happens around 11PM/Midnight) because of the fight, only for SF to tell her to BTFO and say he'll drive me to GM's in the morning. (I'm still crying a little, but acting "tough.") She concedes. (I am 18 at the time, though, so it's perfectly legal for her to kick me out when she tried.)
​
\---
​
I keep hearing from people how I need to let go of what happened and just call her up to talk.
***Am I the Asshole for not wanting to make the first move and not wanting to listen to her if her first move is not an apology?***
​
*(Note: There's a lot to this story being cut out. Some makes me look worse. Some makes her look worse.)*
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
av9vCUQvOFDrc7IVBF35RawuGpsO1XPT
|
aug4db
|
{
"description": "fighting with my mother",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for fighting with my Mother?
|
I'm 23 and provided full time care for my 3 year old sister I am essentially her parent 90% percent of the time. I also have a 12 year old brother and a 10 year old sister whom I cook for as well.
My Step-father is the provider for the family, he works construction 6 days a week for about 10 Hrs . My mom goes to the methadone clinic at 8:40AM and comes back between 11AM - 5PM, usually around 3PM.
Now on to what happened earlier today.
When I use a measuring cup I take it off the little ring that keeps them together so I don't need to wash them all out and this pisses her off to no end because it's "not how she cooks in her kitchen". However today I did not make anything and my dad was in the kitchen playing with my baby sister who took them out and left them on the table after they left. This blew her top and she started yelling at me saying I'm "leaving messes for her to pick up" (it was the only thing out in the kitchen) and then upon me groaning about her yelling it pissed her off more and she screamed about how I'm "going through her room and messing with her shit" (this stems from me and my dad having searched the room months ago and finding xanax). Now the previous day she came home dead tired to the extent of slurring her words and dropping her keys outside and leaving them there because she couldn't be bothered. Due to her being so tired she didn't remember leaving her make up bag in the car, her purse in the living room, or much of anything else. And when unable to find said things she yelled at me for moving her shit. Now I'm very tolerant when she is directing the shouts at me but we had also fought two nights before at 2 am and I asked her to be quite and I would too thus ending the argument, however she always need to get in a couple extra paragraphs.
Again today I asked her to do the same as I had just woke up, and as before she kept going on and on and on and on.
I snapped and yelled for her to "Shut The Fuck Up" this escalated quickly to her calling me a piece of shit and how she never would have talked to her mom like that (guess what she has) and then continued on by saying I was ungrateful and what kind of son I was. I ended up losing it and essentially said she's a shit mom who always has to have things her way and couldn't even take care of her own kid for 3 years and how she dropped me on my grandma so she could have a few extra dollars to buy her dope when I was a kid. And that when on for a good 30 minutes until my dad got back and stopped it.
TL;DR I'm 23, dropped out of high school to care for mom after back surgery and stopped progress towards my GED due to fatigue as I've essentially been a full time parent for my baby sister (3) and 2 other siblings (12 & 10) for the last 4 years. Got into a word war with my mom because of a measuring cup, it escalated, she called me a trash son and piece of shit and I called her a shit parent and a junkie.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
rb8kZ0RHYKcfBW2imXHfj4TeLRRcACsT
|
awyhp5
|
{
"description": "not accepting my brother's apology",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not accepting my brother's apology?
|
I'm a 17 y/o male. My brother is 32(let's call him James).
Ever since James moved in two years ago, he's been manipulating and verbally abusing me to fit his image of what I should be. Last month when he found out I dont agree with his views, he yelled at me and called me slurs(yikes). About a week ago James blamed it on our mother and sister and "apologized" briefly, then the next morning acted completely like he used to, like nothing happened(since the freakout James acted like I didnt exist then talked huge shit about me to our mom and sister every night). My mother says I have to forgive him "because he's your brother and I want peace in the household". We're not fighting or anything, I'm just ignoring him, so I'd say the household is peaceful. However I know my mom actually wants me to change to be like him ,so I'm pretty sure she wants me to forgive him so he can go back to "converting" me again. I told her I don't have to accept his apology. My sister supports me fully cause he treats her like shit too. Am I the asshole??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WmWy64ij8YWzgypB07o1M5i8phfIFjmO
|
ay3hi1
|
{
"description": "screaming at a homeless guy to leave me alone",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for screaming at a homeless guy to leave me alone?
|
So as the title says, I literally screamed at a homeless guy to leave me alone. Am I The Asshole for doing this?
I went out today for lunch and went to my local Subway. When I pulled into the parking lot, the guy was standing in the middle of said parking lot, so I had to maneuver around him in order to park in a parking spot. When I got out of my truck, this is the convo that happened:
Homeless Guy (HG): Excuse me sir. Do you have any jumper cables?
Me: Sorry sir, I dont. Ex wife took them in the divorce.
HG: Oh, ok. Well, I'm looking for some jumper cables, and some food. Will you buy me food? (He pointed at Subway)
Me: Sorry man, I'm actually tight on money, but good luck on finding those cables.
HG: Oh. Well how about I walk with you to the store (right next to subway) so you can buy me some smokes?
Me: (kinda taken aback) No dude. I'm sorry. (I start making my way across the parking lot to the door, he follows)
HG: Oh. Well maybe you can give me your spare change?
Me: (getting frustrated) I said no, please excuse me!
HG: (Right on my heels) Oh. Well can you at least give me a ride to (next town over)?
Me: (Spun around and yelled) NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!!
I feel horrible, honestly, for having to yell at the poor guy. I know he is down on his luck and life is kicking him in the teeth, and if I had the means to help him, or the time, I would have, but I couldn't then.
So I ask, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
iFyM7nKb2KmyqVeFbQmT52yMbsMsvASj
|
amut2w
|
{
"description": "stating to an ex-friend that I'm not disposable or a means to pass time by",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for stating to an ex-friend that I'm not disposable or a means to pass time by?
|
I had been having a gut feeling something was up with one friend I had. Our partners use to work together, but due to my partner being made redundant it was harder to hang out.
After we tried to organise a few times to hang out, and both parties were caught up, I put it down to a busy time of year (school holidays, I worked more to cover us, her husband worked more to cover my partner's ex-job, etc). I should add as it has been a point that they have two kids whom I always have fun hanging with when we see each other, and they are always excited to see me, I also have the same personality as her husband, which is my partner's best mate, go figure.
So I asked the doomed question "I'm just concerned, have I done anything annoying or to make you dislike me?"
She followed this up saying no, and was also letting things pan out after my partner lost his job. That was it, I responded with glad to hear (essentially), and how I value our friendship. Fast forward to two days later and I get this message at work:
"I'm just not the kind of person to do catch ups all the time I just enjoy the company of my family and just being by myself so definitely dont take it personally. We can still catch up every so often but most weekends (husband) and I like to spend it with the kids and ourselves"
I was shocked. This was not how our relationship worked before, and was news to me. There is not much room for a friendship amongst this, as she has two kids who go to school, and her partners job is full on. So I felt devastated. I must state I have doubts as this being the true reason, but I reacted according to her words.
I responded: "I had to mull this over, but I don't honestly see how our friendship will work. You're not interested in weekend hanging out, and I know (partner) is dead tired during the week. Also having to pick up both kids after school. Our friendship is not your priority. Personally I can't not take offence, I'm actually devastated. Those I have in my life, I make time for when possible, it's not on a roster, I respect you want to be alone, but I'm not disposable nor a means for passing the week by. I wish you all the best (her), sorry that I can't see eye to eye on this. I'm worth more."
So, AITA in this, what are your thoughts? I know it's hard to judge when a relationship is made up of a lot more. I have done a lot to help her out with her kids, her partner even wanted to make is godparents, but I'm sure she shot that down. She is a very self centred person, but I am still hurt.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
5Z5iYr1UsoaWa2wZFoBdSSN1ujjZkDLX
|
b3flmr
|
{
"description": "not telling my girlfriend that she is the love of my life",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my girlfriend that she is the love of my life
|
Some time ago, my girlfriend of 1 year and me went out for dinner and drinks afterwards and had a wonderful time. While sitting there with our beers, she asked me to tell her something really beautiful, so i did exactly that, that i love her with all my heart and how i love having her etc. I can directly tell in her reaction that what i said didn't suffice her.. As we're of different nationalities and speak in her language, she asked me whether the expression "you're the love of my life" would exist in my language.
I told her yes it does and to be honest became a bit annoyed in my expression because i often have the feeling that i get tested whether i really love her. She then asks why i wouldn't tell her that, and i said "i don't know, i want to say it when i want to say it and not when i'm kind of forced to do it".
She: "but am i the love of my life"?
Me: "i don't know, i can't really say that right now, that's something so strong in my opinion, and that would be something i say when i or we want to marry and propose" (sorry for my english, don't know how to word it)
After that we went home in silence and she didn't want to sleep in the same bed. I was kind of lost and didn't really know what to do, i obviously felt bad for making her sad.
The rest of the night is kind of like a blur, in short we tried to talk, she said that she always thought we would love each other the same amount and that she feels like there is a discrepancy in the way we love (and i get where she is coming from and i also feel so bad that i can't just tell her that she is the love of my life..). i then say that i don't really compare our love, that i know that i love her, and i want our love to get deeper and to fall into it with the flow, and that i feel like this flow gets interrupted by her kind of often asking me how much i love her.. she says that i broke her heart and humiliated her. i don't know whether i describe it understandably, sorry for that, i don't want her to seem like the bad guy, i really feel and care for her, but i also kind of think i'm in the right?
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
34nFHplNP0u4vdncZ36565sYnFuQpzqo
|
aecuah
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take out a loan to pay for rent",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not wanting to take out a loan to pay for rent.
|
My girlfriend and I have been together for over three years now. She has a full time job and is able to pay her rent, however I am still in college and make less than $250 per week, and so I am staying with family close by. She has to move soon and we've been planning on getting a place together, however the only way I would be able to pay my half of the rent is to take out a loan to pay until I've graduated and get a job. She doesn't like the idea of living with roommates she doesn't know, even though getting a multi-bedroom place would be extremely cheap. I currently don't have any student debt, as my parents saved money to send me to school practically since the day I was born. I recently told her that I no longer want to take out the loan, as I don't think it's fair that I should have to go into debt for several years just so she doesn't have to live with strangers for a few months.
​
TL;DR My girlfriend wants me to take out a loan to pay for rent because she doesn't want to live with roommates, but I don't feel comfortable doing that, and I don't think it's fair.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
neJrOWPMdah8n8GJx8bXJV9iU3NmpAD2
|
b1yj0c
|
{
"description": "not being friendly to my neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being friendly to my neighbor?
|
A little about my personality and why I'm like this-- I'm an introverted, socially anxious person and going to work and dealing with coworkers alone is enough to completely exhaust me. I have a couple of close friends I talk to at least once a week, and I live with my boyfriend, but other than that, socializing, especially with acquaintances, makes me anxious and tired. I find more peace and happiness being alone than I do having a million casual friends. I also really hate the whole small talk thing.
We live in close proximity to 3 other neighbors, in a duplex facing another duplex-- the other building is maybe 30 feet across from ours. Our neighbors are fine. The people next to us and catty-corner to us pretty much keep to themselves, work a lot, and I don't really see them much. The people directly across from us are more visible and more extroverted. They're two brothers, and I often run into them (usually at least once a day) when I go out to my car.
I generally avoid talking to them. Maybe a 'hi, how are you?' on occasion, but I always move on as quickly as possible, don't really share anything personal, and do it while actively going inside. Most of the time, I wear headphones and don't interact with them at all.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, is very friendly and always says hi. He seems to think I'm being cold and unfriendly towards them and it makes me feel bad. I wonder if I'm being an asshole/am in the wrong for not trying to have an acquaintance/neighborly relationship with them. I don't want my neighbors to hate me or to think I don't like them in particular or something, I just don't enjoy small talk and I don't want to feel obligated to make it every time I go to my car.
I know my preferences for being left alone aren't the norm, especially being a mid-twenties female, as I'm expected to always be smiley and warm and welcoming, so I want to know from more "normal" people-- would you find my behavior rude?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TJBu5UzyUgvxG9sgPjrH427a9SssXp6g
|
9ugphr
|
{
"description": "not talking to a girl as much after she said she wasnt into me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not talking to a girl as much after she said she wasnt into me?
|
I was interested in this girl. We have a couple of classes together and spent a lot of time together. Long story short, she isn't into me. We're still friends but lately I haven't been as proactive as I use to be. Am I being an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vwsNb2PHfUOBT6awyf7y6JS17CQxwH8J
|
b5qg2p
|
{
"description": "leaving my drunk date at a hotel",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for leaving my drunk date at a hotel?
|
So I was thinking about making an alternate account to post this, but I’m just going to live up to it even if I am the asshole...tl;dr at bottom.
A couple weeks ago, I attended a winter masquerade with a couple of friends and a girl (woman) I met on Bumble, a mobile dating app. The masquerade was a very elegant and classy event and tickets to it were $450/apiece; it was in a nice hotel/plaza next to the hotel. A lot of attendees were staying in the hotel afterwards, though I live within walking distance so I wasn’t planning on getting a room. I bought two tickets to it several months ago for my gf and myself, but we broke up. I’ve gone on a few dates since then, but not many. As the masquerade got closer and my love life did not improve, I figured I would just scalp my extra ticket at the door.
But then “Regina” and I began chatting on Bumble and we really hit it off. We did go out a couple of times before the masquerade, but only for coffee and dinner. Neither of us had any alcoholic beverages on our dates. I invited Regina to go to the masquerade and she was definitely into it. On the night of, my friends and I met up with her for a drink (she looked beautiful) and headed back to my apt so we could walk over.
As soon as we got to the masquerade, Regina started drinking heavily. After she drank 3 gin and tonics in an hour and a half, I mentioned to her that she might want to slow it down. I mean, the masquerade isn’t a huge event - there were probably 100-150 people there. You could easily see that this isn’t some college level party where everyone is getting shit faced. There were people dancing, socializing, watching the performers, and bidding on items that were available (the whole thing was for charity). Regina got really angry with me and my bro’s gf told me I shouldn’t have mentioned it to her in case she has a drinking problem. To me, that’s all the more reason I would mention it, but I digress...
Over the next couple of hours, Regina continued to drink a lot. I tried talking her down a couple of times, but she stopped talking to me after like the third time. She was definitely the drunkest one there, or at least the sloppiest drunk there. She was loud and she was dancing with random people. I could tell that some attendees were annoyed, but I didn’t want to lay claim to her at that point. My friend and I went to look for her when we were getting ready to leave and we found her in the bathroom hallway, passed out on a couch.
I left her there. I definitely was not taking her to my place because I didn’t want her to wake up and accuse me of anything since she was pissed at me and I wasn’t going to drag her into an Uber since I didn’t know where to take her. I informed the hotel staff that one of the event guests was passed out on a couch in the bathroom hallway and then left.
AITA?
TL;DR: left my date passed out on a hotel couch after she drank heavily all night
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
G4ZxH8CMmxJx9RBdtaabqxfu7vhm9Oke
|
b84s9a
|
{
"description": "writing an essay proving my teacher wrong",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for writing an essay proving my teacher wrong
|
Recently my 10th grade English class read through lord of the flies, and at the very beginning we held a vote, between piggy, Ralph, Jack, and Simon, to determine who we thought was the best chief.
The first time we elected I picked Jack. And was almost unanimously ousted by the Simon crowd.
Then we held a second election with our knowledge of how the book ended. When I voted jack, I drew a response of "what the f***", and the rest of the class (including the teacher) argued against me
My resolution is to write an essay on two things, first off why Jack would make a bitchin' leader, but more importantly, why the concept of a "correct opinion" detracts from modern, intellectual society.
TL:DR everyone got angry at me for arguing that a seemingly evil leader is the lesser of 4 evils. Wrote an essay to prove the concept of "correct opinion" wrong
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
tY6zSQTGJqsyiqd3RB7emO1m98kYo5kk
|
av4bff
|
{
"description": "not giving up my chair on a packed cafeteria table for allowing a group to sit together",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA if I dont give up my chair on a packed cafeteria table for allowing a group to sit together.
|
I was in a cafeteria and it was packed. I went with my colleagues to have lunch and after scrounging for a big enough place to fit all of us, we found one where just one guy was sitting in the corner. So we sat there and the table got full. We got joined by another of our colleague and since it was full, he had to get another chair and sit. But the another person who subsequently tried to join us couldn't because there was no place. So basically, he was sitting as the know person all around our group. Thought the cafeteria was packed, there was a lot of place for a group of 2 atleast. That person did not give up his seat and sat all the while there looking at us telling our colleagues to find some other place because there is no space here. Is this justified?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
3QKnX5MhEoMy05w3g74iBGWUel7pBCFH
|
a78eus
|
{
"description": "not letting my downstairs neighbor in after he got locked out",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't let my downstairs neighbor in after he got locked out
|
I live in an apartment that is basically a house divided into 3 apartments, with only one main entrance that leads to the apartments. One of the guys who lives downstairs always forgets his keys when he leaves, like 3-4 times a week I get a call to come let him in. This isn't usually a big deal as I'm home a lot of the time, although sometimes I have had to leave where I was at to unlock the door, and sometimes he calls late at night.
I also suspect that he is purposefully leaving the main door unlocked when he leaves, because many times when I leave that door is unlocked, and I always make sure to lock that door.
Today I almost just ignored his call to teach him a lesson, but then I gave in about 5 minutes later. When I got outside he wasn't there waiting for me, no, he was trying to break the window into his apartment so he could get in(not the first time he's done this).
So, WIBTA if I didn't let him in?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WnfqGSC3A63WqqVcru2diItln0aApsA1
|
a257r6
|
{
"description": "asking my husband not to play video games one night",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking my husband not to play video games one night?
|
Some background info is that my husband (33 M) works A LOT, like well over 100 hours/ week and plays computer/video games about 1-3 times per week for about an hour at a time depending on that week.
Last night, I, (28 F), was having a particularly difficult day with our children and just life stuff and at about 10 pm I was ready for bed and he said he was going to go play video games and I said that I would like for him to come to bed with me since most nights I go to bed alone and he comes home at around 1 am when I’m already asleep and leaves at around 6-7 am when I’m just waking up.
So, AITA for asking him to skip his video game and come to bed with me after I had a hard day? His response was that he thought being with me meant I was okay with him playing games at night, and I am, but when I go to bed almost every night alone and have a tough day I’d like to be able fall asleep next to my spouse if his work permits, which last night it did. Anyway, I feel like I can’t say that to him because he gets defensive and says I am too clingy or that when we got together I told him his games and other things weren’t a problem with me and now it looks like I’m back tracking.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
7760JafmURRfnBJMvwB7CR47AjUV0qXJ
|
anji3u
| null |
AITA Coworker wants to invite her child 3 to 4 years old to happy hour.
|
Last five minutes before I leave work I have the urge to do happy hour. As I'm leaving I see my coworker (friend more or less) and I ask her if shed like to join my friend and I. I am aware she has a child whom I've met before. Nice kid as far as they go. I also know she gets one day out of the week to herself. Hoping its today I invite her to happy hour with my friend.
She says maybe and she'll get back to me soon.
Fast forward. I arrive at the local brewery and receive a text. "I'll come but I have "child" with me. Grab a table."
At this point I'm a little annoyed as I invited her and not her and her son. Granted if it was just me I would have grabbed a table for us.
I text her back and admitted that I didnt know she would have her child and that my friend would be opposed to sitting at a table. Knowing my friend, I know he would be against it. Because who would want to have a beer with a child after a long day of work. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
L6G1GXbeiP7RNycVzwAZvL0KWTTrYSR4
|
amcd2j
|
{
"description": "losing faith in my coworker",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for losing faith in my coworker?
|
So a little backstory: I was the first one to join my current team at work close to 2 years ago and we recently added 2 new members about 3 months ago, one external resource and one who moved internally from another group. Let's call the one who joined externally Sam - this one is about her.
To give some context, I am the youngest on this team (I am 24f while Sam is in her thirties), but I am usually in charge of training since I have joining seniority. I trained pretty much everyone on my team so far with no issues. There is a learning curve with the job so I prepare myself to be patient. Most took some time to adjust, but ended up being phenomenal additions to the team to the point I have developed a high respect for my manager's hiring ability.
Now Sam joins and to be frank, I have no idea what prompted my boss to hire her. It has been months now and basic material is still going over her head. But it's not even just that she is plain bad at working because maybe she'll eventually get it, her mannerisms are that of a child's. For instance, I was nibbling on a snack as I was working when she grabbed it with her hands and said she wanted some and tore a piece of it to eat it without my consent. When she has an open cubicle to sit at (she doesn't have an assigned seat yet due to office reconstruction), she decides to sit with me in my cubicle because she wants to ask me questions about everything. When I ask her to work on something with me (another team member has complained that she isn't doing her share of work), she says she doesn't have the bandwidth because she's writing one email. Plus, she asks very personal questions, asking for photos of my family and boyfriend. I guess she's just being friendly, but it makes me uncomfortable in the workspace.
With all that being said, she is such a sweet lady and I know she does try her best to improve. But I'm starting to lose hope. These days, I think she can tell that I have an attitude change (I still try to help her when it's needed) and is even a bit intimidated to approach me. It's only a matter of time before my boss discusses with me on her progress and I don't think I have any positive things to say. As the senior member, I'm afraid my words may even cost her the job.
So, AITA for losing faith in my coworker and possibly about to express to my boss that she is terrible at her job?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
g8G2EZwrA6KDmQMDoT6JhGmGNqFngNbc
|
a9vnfn
| null |
AITA: Stop answering my mom’s phone calls after the 15th phone call
|
I’m currently a high school student and ever since I’ve gotten my car, I’ve been going out a little bit more often. When I’m at my friend’s house or out at the mall, my mom would call me at least 20+ times (not an exaggeration, I’ve counted) over the span of 5 hours. Every time she calls me, it’s just the same questions: Where am I? Who am I with? Every single time, it’s the same answer. If I don’t pick up, my mom gets extremely angry and calls me until I pick up. As of lately, I’ve been getting annoyed every time she calls me, as the only time I call her is when I’m heading to/from home. Am I the asshole for not picking up her phone calls after the 15th one??
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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aGL65gUwnTOMEwQfxXvaek2HGDCVca84
|
aykvof
|
{
"description": "regecting a promposal",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for regecting a promposal
|
Backstory: I am a 16yo female in the 11th grade and am the current editor of our school yearbook. I like anime and video games, so I don't get asked on dates. Good. I do not like D because he turns off my computer, "forgets" to do important tasks, and messes with my stuff while making short jokes. I am 5'0 and 98lbs.
D: Dude
Me: duh
R1 and R2:girls hiding from forensics class
T: best teacher
Prom is in April every year at our school and you have to buy tickets in advance, so people asked a few months earlier and not the day before.
I have been in yearbook for 2 years. I sit next to this dude that I will call D. D had been hinting about going to prom with "Did you buy a prom dress?" and "Have you bought a ticket?" I had not because I did not plan to go. I had made plans to hang out with my dudes and play video games and eat Chinese food. It was cheaper and Chinese taste better than Walmart finger foods on a platter. I told him no for about 3 days until IT happened.
Me: Come on guys! We have faces to tag and only a week to do it! (Book was due in a week and they procrastinated. A lot.)
D and T are talking in the closet.
D:(brings out a flat white box and everyone whips out their phones) So Sbp? Are you still not going to prom.
Me: yep
D: What about with me? (Opens the box with a cookie cake saying "Sbp? Prom?"
Me: D. I told you already I have plans and no interest in prom. No.
The class breaks out in anger. They say stuff like "You should just say yes!" and "Wow don't be so mean about it!"
He knew I made these plans for months BECAUSE I INVITED HIM TO JOIN US!
Me: T I am out! I am hiding in the bathroom, Good bye!
I waved and walked out.
I go into the bathroom across the school and find R1 and R2 hiding in there. We chat as I know them pretty well and they basically agree that I shouldn't go if I do not want to, but should maybe think about it. T walks in and tells me how D is "heartbroken" and that I should think about it and say yes. I say that I am not going with him; she says it is my decision and mine only.
I pop my head in the door to find them talking about hair. Of all things why hair? So I listen to stories of fake hair and sit down.
D: so did you change your mind?
Me:No. I told you I had plans and you knew that.
D: just cancel them and come to prom with me!
Me: No, but you can join me.
D: Why won't you just cancel your plans? You could hang out with them anyday but you can come to prom with me once!
Me: I said no!
D: Well girl said you are a horrible person for telling me no and your little sister said she was gonna hurt you.
He texted his friends and family I said no
Me: I would love to see her try.
D: and my mom said she won't buy bacon from you!
Me: and (I was selling fundraisers for clubs)
D: Just cancel your plans
The rest of the day is filled with evil glares and shoulder checks.
Our last hour comes and I walk out of the class with my buddy and D is waiting at the door
D: Did you change your mind?
AITA
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a1ewZ3OMvY1fxVp6NOUfZiANCVmgO1d8
|
aznwag
|
{
"description": "getting upset that my husband didn't clean up his fish mess to my standards",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset that my husband didn't clean up his fish mess to my standards?
|
My husband is in general a great guy. We both have times where we should be nicer to each other. Today he went fishing, which is really great because fishing is his chance to really have some time for himself. He has caught a fish before, but he usually doesn't. Today he got two really large, very heavy fish. He brought them into the house wet and dripping through the living room (we have wood floors) and put one in the sink. And took the other outside to clean. Our sink has dirty dishes so while he is walking in holding two giant fish one in each hand, he is telling me to take a picture and also to clean out the sink (which was full of dishes). I was annoyed that he came home dripping fish water everywhere. His clothes smell like fish, and now our living room and kitchen smell like fish. I asked him if he could clean out the sink and mop the floor. He said he would clean the sink and swiffer , and he would also throw his clothes in the laundry room. That was 3 hours ago. Now he is laying in bed, he didn't clean the sink or the floor or his clothes and our house still smells like fish. He has to work tomorrow and was already comfortable in bed and I told him I was upset that he didn't do that stuff and I was really annoyed that he brought in two fish dripping all over the place. He thinks I am over reacting and doesn't understand why I am so upset over the fish smell. He also says he did clean up the mess he made outside cutting up the fish, but he left the fish board in the sink. In his opinion he did clean up, but not to my standard. Also, I hate fish. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
mGqkkFl0MmUOlVxclEhPFhYbfhIlBCr6
|
anbpct
|
{
"description": "not knowing my sisters login",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not knowing my sisters login
|
okay so about three years ago my sister asked me to help her make a discord account. so she told me what to do and i did it. and she used the account and then the year after discord logs her out so she tries to log back in and could not do it. so then she asks me for help and honestly i was stumped. i made sure all the spelling was correct i tried checking different Email accounts but i still was unable to log her into discord. so eventually it bubbles into this huge discussion and everybody is yelling at me because i didn't remember the login that i just passively typed. and eventually we noticed that the email itself had a typo and my mother set up her email a long time before. so please judge me reddit.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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afer3e
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{
"description": "trying to distance myself from a \"friend\" by blocking/ghosting them",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to distance myself from a “friend” by blocking/ghosting them?
|
A person at work, let’s call them Larry, was introduced to me so that I could share some tips and be a quasi mentor to the new guy. I saw a guy that was close in age and thought, “ok cool, maybe this could turn into an unfiltered work friendship” (I didn’t have any such relationships at this job). At first, we did share interests in going to presentations (especially those with free food) and could talk about anything not work related.
Larry’s attitude was always sort of douchey and holier than thou but I gave it a pass because I enjoyed having someone to talk to and break away from work to do so. After awhile, it just became too much. At those meetings he would audibly grunt and grumble as soon as the food was off his plate and seem very anxious for the meeting to wrap up. He would even try to shit talk to me like jeez I wish they would just shut up and end this.
Let me also point out that these aren’t mandatory meetings and while I was also drawn in by food, I would also listen to whatever the presentation topic would be about and some I would be genuinely interested in hearing. Also, they would be larger meetings (30-100 people) and you were free to leave at anytime. Some people would leave on the half hour so it seemed like they had another meeting to get to.
I don’t want to be associated with someone with such a negative attitude as these presentations draw people in from high and low in the company. There have been times I have been somewhat stunned by the things he would say with others around at our table. I could go on, but it’s universally unaccepted type comments that I want nothing to do with.
Before I write a novel about what I don’t like about his attitude, let’s get to my possible asshole plan to distance myself. First step was to block him on instant messenger at work without warning. It was so liberating because this guy is so obnoxious. Can’t count the number of times he would send me 20 messages in a row, most being “sup” “yo” and the like. He seemed to be stalking me. As soon as I’d log on at work he would send a message or 6. I hate it because it’s usually pointless and it made me start ignoring the flashing icon which can be my boss or another employee with actual business chat.
After discovering I blocked him, he just started sending chat like subject line emails or texting. These would also be mostly ignored. I’ll indulge a text every once in awhile because I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to go from entertaining his bullshit and seeming like a real friend to completely shutting it down and having no interaction without being super awkward. Even while trying to ice him out, this guy is relentless. He will try to invite me out to do things which I mostly ignore. I feel even more awkward that he doesn’t pick up on any social cues that I do not value his friendship anymore. Am I the Asshole?
TL/DR: I became friends with a guy at work and have pulled a 180 after realizing how negative and obnoxious a person he is and am actively blocking/ignoring his communication. AITA.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
kcYWDtnLMB3rpBUolYZC03WWwvGeyVvZ
|
b4id0h
|
{
"description": "not doing a kid's homework or are the parents in denial about her skills",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not doing a kid’s homework or are the parents in denial about her skills?
|
I hope this post fits in here
I’ve had this tutoring job since December. My job was to help a girl around the age of 11-12 with her homework. I was not a teacher, just someone there to assist her if she ran into problems. Well it turns out she really struggled -a lot in all of her classes, and I practically had to tell her the answer in every math equation or write her essays. Meaning I would tell her what to write. It got better, especially in math. I was able to guide her to the right answers eventually and the past 2 months I’ve barely been there to help her. I have visited her twice this month ( 3 hours) and 3 times last month (5 hours). I took this as a good sign since she often told me “I can’t do the rest by myself” looked her in the eye and asked if she was sure. When she said yes, I had to take her word for it and went home. My point is, she seemed to be doing well and I’ve barely made an impact since January.
I didn’t like her parents very much, they are controlling and would often force me to eat/drink very sugary things. When I told them no thanks or “I’m trying to lose weight” they would get really offended and told me not to be uptight. But the girl was really nice so I dealt with it.
Yesterday I received a long text from the mother about how they had been to a school meeting. The girl had apparently almost failed on a paper that we wrote together back in December. It was a “month paper” meaning she had 30 days to write it. They called me up the day before it was due and I had to sit for 4 hours practically writing it for her. I had a sense that it wasn’t very good, but the girl told me that this is how they were supposed to do. I guess not. She has also gone down in grades in several of her classes which I was shocked by. I was even more shocked that I got a scolding for it, since I’ve BARELY been there. And I sit with a calculator in math, to make sure everything is correct. In English I KNOW there’s been no mistakes. In danish, I’ve tried to guide her, but didn’t want to do the homework for her.
Anyway she send a mean text and I politely and carefully questioned which classes and papers she was talking about. I had already been fired. Once again I got more dirt thrown in my face and she couldn’t tell me the exact errors/papers. I told her that her daughter seemed to do well and often told me she could do the homework herself. She turned this around on me and scolded me for not helping her when I was there.
Am I the asshole here? Should I have contacted her mother and said she seemed to be doing better and tell her that she didn’t need my help as much? Or did they just want someone to blame for their daughter not being the brightest? I honestly don’t feel like I’m at fault here, but that her previous tutor might have done all the work for her and since that stopped, her grades are going down.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Khv3igJDbh7IB8IH6vfaSuI2HNvy43Dh
|
b9etfl
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{
"description": "setting expectations for husband's early retirement",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for setting expectations for husband's early retirement?
|
Husband and I are both in our early thirties and fortunate enough to be in a financially comfortable place where we can quit our jobs in the next year. My husband works 12 hour shifts, 4 days a week and I work a regular 9-5. I recently sold some intellectual property and made mid-7 figures off of it. This puts in a place where we can pay off the remainder of our mortgage and live comfortably off the rest for quite a while.
Right now, because of my husbands long hours and stressful job, he plays video games for hours on end as stress relief. I understand this, and it is sometimes mildly annoying when I would prefer we do interactive stuff together, but I understand the comfort he gets from it. My fear though is that when we both quit, he will just sit at home and play video games all day. I don't want to be an asshole and call all the shots because it was "my money" that is helping us retire, but at the same time, I want both of us to lead active lives so that we can live long and be healthy long into our retirement.
I plan on taking up a bunch of home projects in the first couple years, maybe going back to school, and continuing to work on projects similar to the one I sold. I've asked my husband what he wants to do and he said he just wants to relax after 15+ years in the work force. So, I want to tell him that he has to have a plan for retirement before quitting, is this fair?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
zq2ehs7H7JYbmvdaoTtyN0d9oZDs8ONx
|
azjohf
|
{
"description": "misinterpreting her text",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for misinterpreting her text
|
Hi, first time poster, long time lurker, sorry beforehand for any mistakes, there's a **TL:DR** included below, also English isn’t my first language either.
I (30M|Agnostic Jew) was introduced to this lady (30F|7th Day Adventist), and we had great chemistry from the start. We went on a lunch date, but she kept pushing the religion topic more and more during lunch, asking many questions, all of which I answered honestly. Despite finding her very charming and gorgeous, I could foresee religion becoming an issue down the line. Later that day, she asked me through text why we didn’t kiss, and I confessed. We talked and agreed that it would be best if we parted ways.
I didn’t contact her after that, and focused on moving on, but after about a week, out of the blue, she texted me saying:
"Hi this is XYZ, remember me? :) How about we start over from scratch? I think we had great chemistry together and should give it a shot despite our last convo, what do you say?"
I was ecstatic, and agreed to see her. A couple of days later, she asked if I was willing to meet her community, to which I said: "Sure!". As we discussed this, it turned out that it wasn't a "Meet&Greet", but a full-blown Bible Camp, to which I had to commit 3 days a week, every week
So, while I thought that she had found a compromise, and was willing to look beyond our differences regarding religion, what she actually meant was " I want to date you, so you should adopt my religion". After she confirmed this, things went sour pretty fast. She said two meanspirited things:
1. It was my fault for ending things and closing the door on "us", since I was unwilling to give her faith, and therefore our relationship, a shot, while stating I was asking too much of her to "set aside her duty to her Lord and savior" - that last bit was her answer when asked if she could not see herself beside a person who didn't share her religion, but would still support her
2. Implied I was to blame for our mutual heart break, since I chose to interpret her message the way I saw it best, since she had always been forthcoming in the notion that I would have to adopt her faith, even in that specific text
I'm not concerned about the first thing, because I made it abundantly clear I was not looking to embrace any faith, I merely reciprocated what to me was a beautiful gesture of hers. I am concerned about the second statement though.
**AITA / WITA for interpreting her message in the way I wanted it to, or was it an honest mistake?**
**TL:DR**: I (30's M - Agnostic Jew) met a lady (30's F - Adventist), but due to her beliefs we decided not to move forward with relationship, agreeing it was for the best. A week later, she text’s me out of the blue asking to “start from scratch”, but after a great date, things go sour, with her implying I was to blame for our heart break, because what she meant by “from scratch” is me converting to her beliefs, and not finding common ground through mutual respect and understanding
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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UAF6yerVgitY9rTdEBWafmWZ7emBsuMU
|
ay6cj0
|
{
"description": "asking my boyfriend to post photos of me on Instagram",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend to post photos of me on Instagram?
|
My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. I started noticing that he would often post photos of his friends and family on Instagram but never of me. I've met his friends and some of his family members, so I don't think he's trying to hide me from them or from someone else.
We had a conversation where he was insistent that it doesn't mean anything, that he doesn't post that often anyway, and that I shouldn't care about social media. I don't feel that I'm generally a person to care that much about social media, and I rarely post photos of myself on Instagram, but I find it so odd that he wouldn't put just one of me even though we have definitely taken photos together.
I asked him if he would start posting photos of us together and he told me to drop it.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
bLuh3Ps45ABvDWKVecuhmyo9oTfu0QJF
|
asxvj8
|
{
"description": "resenting that my children see their mom as a hero",
"pronormative_score": 55,
"contranormative_score": 34
}
|
AITA for resenting that my children see their mom as a hero?
|
My ex wife is a perennial fuck up. She’s been to jail on numerous occasions, had several affairs, lost more jobs than I’ve ever had, and currently lives with her mother. I was a single dad for three years to three children, years where I learned to braid hair so I could care for my daughter. I’ve remarried, and my wife and I provide the children with everything. We pay for their healthcare. We help them with their school work. We sign them up for activities they are interested in and take them to those activities. We pay for those activities. We help them with their school projects. My son is almost 16, and we will buy his car. My eight year old daughter needs braces, and we will pay for them. I ask their mother for no child support because she can’t even support herself. I don’t wish to hurt her. In fact, I’ve forgiven her for who she is and what she’s done.
Fast forward to tonight: my daughter is entering a pageant. We’ve paid for the dress. We’ve paid the entrance fee. She gets me ask her questions she might be asked at the pageant. One was, “Who is your hero and why?”
My daughter says, “Do you think I should say, ‘my mom?’”
I said, “ You realize you have family here? We provide for you. We registered you for this pageant. We attended the meeting. You live here full time. We care for you and love you. I know that you get to go to your mom’s every other weekend, and you have no chores there. You eat whatever you like (mom has food stamps), but it’s easy to be a parent two weekends a month. It’s harder to be a parent all the time.”
I’ve never derogated their mother. I don’t want to cripple their image of her, but it’s frustrating as hell that they see her as this angel and don’t appreciate everything their stepmother and I do for them.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
D5ZpyMXJjB2pWh6Q5Vo5TbShJUl8lHbA
|
a9j33i
|
{
"description": "remaining somewhat unattached from my dad",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for remaining somewhat unattached from my dad?
|
First of all my dad hasn’t done anything horrific like he hasn’t abandoned me or anything. But when I was younger I never felt good enough for him. He seemed to have a preconceived idea of what I would be and what my interests would be and I was very different to that. He was also an alcoholic so wasn’t always able to support me and also he had a very quick temper so he shouted at me constantly even if I had done little to nothing wrong. He also began to say he would come and see me and then every single week something work related would come up and I understand that but then the work related inconveniences became hobby related inconveniences and it seemed that he would rather do his hobbies than see me. It wasn’t something I noticed as much when I was a kid but when I turned around 17 (now 21) I started thinking about it. Over those 4 years I’ve been more distant.
However in the last year or so he has been trying to reconnect a little and become a better dad, like he started looking for the football results of my favourite team and he has shown an interest in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that a lot and I do give him something back. He’ll phone me once every couple of weeks when I’m at university and I’ll talk to him and ask him about how he’s been but that’s all I’ll give him.
So yeah, AITA and if I am what do I do about it?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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mwHgo7GBBC5qSbHFI1G4r6OXluiRgP34
|
9u4le5
|
{
"description": "asking my stoner best friend not to get high when we hang out anymore",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if I ask my stoner best friend not to get high when we hang out anymore
|
I recently concluded that I have a moderate problem with drinking and drugging. I’ve got two weeks sober and am using AA and other tools.
My best friend has been a daily weed smoker for years. We generally hang out once a week and marijuana use has always been a staple of our hangout sessions.
Last night I hung out with her and I told her that I would rather she didn’t get high anymore when we hang out, as I’m afraid of relapsing and seeing her enjoy marijuana will chip away at my resolve over time. She got defensive and replied that that’s not fair because she enjoys weed and doesn’t have a substance abuse problem herself.
We’re planning on talking about it more after we’ve both had some time to think. I really don’t want this friendship to end. I know she values my friendship as much as I value hers. But part of me feels like if she can’t handle being sober for me (again this is only once a week) then she DOES have a problem. But I know if I say that then she’ll get real defensive. Would I be an asshole if I gave her an ultimatum?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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KI4pirkLP87GjhZgoV9i5wGYyU1Q7Pja
|
any3ew
|
{
"description": "not caring about my friend who got sexually harassed after she made everyone think I was a liar",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not caring about my friend who got sexually harassed after she made everyone think I was a liar
|
It's pretty long but please bear with me.
About 6 weeks ago, I had a male friend (A) who I would usually take a bus with to home from school since I was unfamiliar with the direction in America ( I moved here 11 months ago and my sister stopped driving me a while back). He was kind, but we weren't close. The only time we would really talk much was on the bus. After 2 weeks of frequently taking buses with me, he asked me if I would be free on the weekend so we could go watch a movie, it was on him. I thought that was pretty nice of him to offer since he never seemed like a creep to me, it sounded like a friendly offer to me, so I said yes.
So we went to see a movie together around 2PM, there was hardly anyone in the movie theater around this time, and the movie wasn't a too popular one neither so that explained. He chose the seats for us in the back. The whole line of seat was only us, and I felt sort of uncomfortable but I stopped thinking much about it. It was 15 minutes into the movie that he started asking if I was cold, which I replied "I'm okay", so he continue asking then why wouldn't I take off my jacket (red flag). I awkwardly smiled and ignored answering, with my jacket still on. Later on, he started to put his hand on my thigh and rub it, eventually he hand went up my skirt and I got super uncomfortable and knew he was up to no good. Fast forward, I tried to message my boyfriend to pick me up since we Uber'ed here, but he would constantly trying to look at my messages. I lied saying it was my friends bothering me with our project but my boyfriend didn't reply (he was asleep) and I ended up having to watch the whole movie with him with him fucking groping my body. I was too scared to walk away, I was dumb and I got the worst time in my life regretting coming with him.
I didn't tell that to anyone but my teacher but he never did anything about it so I just decided to let it go and learned a lesson. I stopped talking to A. Now a week ago, I saw my best friend was starting to talk a lot to A, I was worried about her so I after school, I decided to ask her what's up with her and A. She said he started messaging her for homework and they got closer, but she didn't like him in that way. Remembering what happened to me, I decided to tell her the whole story and she was disgusted (by what he did) and said she would stay away from him. But then she turned out to go out and tell people how I thought I was so special that someone would try to sexually harass me. A heard the story from her and decided to add more lies to make me completely looking like an attention seeker slut. The sad part was, everyone trusted them.
Fast forward, my best friend decided to go on a date with A and the same thing happened: A sexually used her, and even took her photos without her consent to send them to his friends. My best friend is now depressed, A has been absent. AITA for not caring about what he did to her and that she's depressed? After all, I tried to warn her.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b1s12u
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{
"description": "confronting my mother about my 12 yr old brother being given shots",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for confronting my mother about my 12 yr old brother being given shots?
|
This situation all unfolded last night while I was at dinner with my mom, half brother, boyfriend and my boyfriend’s mom.
As a side conversation my brother mentions to me that our Uncle had given him shots at his wedding a few months ago. This was huge news to me as I wasn’t present during the wedding due to being states away.
I try to bring down my voice and quietly confront him about what exactly happened.
He explained that my uncle gave him a few shots during the wedding and then again when my brother visited my uncle during New Years.
I would have taken him aside and confronted this situation if it wasn’t for the fact that we were having a nice dinner and my mom and brother had just come into town to visit me for the weekend after not seeing each other for months.
My brother then goes on to say that he notices my Uncle smokes weed. His house apparently smells very strong sometimes and he can see their eyes are glazed over/red.
I am not against smoking weed at all, but for my uncle to do it while in the care of my brother seems very inappropriate. I again try to have a sidebar conversation and tell him that I don’t think it’s appropriate for your Uncle to be doing that while you’re visiting and that I don’t want my brother to be involved with weed/alcohol until he at least graduates high school. I explain to him that I didn’t partake until I graduated and explain that MY dad has had issues with alcoholism in the past so I am very cautious with myself when going out to bars.
My brothers dad had issues with drug abuse which ultimately led up to my mom and his divorce, so it was terrifying to me that he was being exposed to gateway drugs.
I confronted my mom a few hours after dinner over text, which probably wasn’t the smartest but the thoughts couldn’t leave my head.
She actually got very upset with me and wouldn’t give me a definite answer as to:
How she found out
Why she never told me
Is she still in contact with our Uncle
She threatened to head back to Chicago and told me that I was the most disrespectful person for the way I was talking to her.
She started to push the topic back on me and falsely claim I drank in high school to which I kept denying because my first drink was weeks after I graduated and I clearly remember coming back home and puking out my second story bedroom window to which I never told her about.
So, am I the asshole?
TL:DR
I confronted my mom over claims my uncle gave my 12 yr old brother shots to which she stopped talking to me and claimed I was disrespectful.
|
HISTORICAL
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{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "sharing a tactic for arguing with a person trying to look very badass",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I share a tactic for arguing with a person trying to look very badass?
|
[this post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverybadass/comments/abzq3a/guess_im_a_scared_loser_repost_due_to_a_goof_i_did/?st=JQG4S1I1&sh=e7dfa195) reached the front page so most of you have seen it. But I use the fact that you don’t have a counterpoint/ reasoning against my point as another reason to agree with me or do the thing in question.
It’s not in a bully like way, like I just roasted him and he can’t think of something to say; it’s like where we should go to eat ex: “do you all want to eat a Burger King?” Nobody talks “I’ll take that as a yes”
TL:DR: i use people not having a counterpoint as another topic/point, but not in roasting.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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INFO
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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as5c5l
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{
"description": "getting my ex-roommate put on probation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting my ex-roommate put on probation?
|
Sorry if formatting is weird very solemn do I make posts on reddit. I would also like to TW for sexual harassment so if anyone's sensitive to that please be warned.
​
So this is a really long story that starts in August I'm going to try to keep it short but here I go. I'm a first year in university and moving was a huge change and it took a huge emotional toll on me, for the first week I cried myself to sleep and I would text/call my mom nonstop, having anxiety and depression it was already hard enough for me to be able to open up and make new friends so I was already dealing with that situation. Anyways I moved in with a girl (let's call her Sandy) I thought was super cool we had the same interests and she was nice and funny, a bit annoying but I still enjoyed her company nonetheless, we were getting along as well as roommates do until one day I came back from class and all hell broke loose.
​
I walked into the dorm from class and we greeted each other I sat down at my desk and she turned off her TV and climbed into her bed, and started to masturbate right there in her bed for all of God's green earth to see. I started freaking out and I sat in shock as it happened afterward she went "oh I have my bio lab" and left I texted my sister and called my mom and ranted to her about it. After that I reported Sandy to my RA and we exchanged schedules and she said she wouldn't do it again but she "didn't see the big deal."
​
I'll admit I got paranoid after the first encounter. I started spending less time in my room and started getting colder towards her. I was pissed off, I was gone for over an hour in class and she had the opportunity to deal with that then but instead she waited until I got back to the dorm, she greeted me and then she decided to touch herself. I started going to therapy over this because my mental health already was in a bad place and this triggered a spiral. Anyways there were two other instances when I thought she was masturbating while I was in the room and I reported her again she claims she didn't do it but who knows. She eventually moved out because she was mad that I had supposedly falsely accused her of touching herself in my presence again which I couldn't care less about.
​
A while later I reported her to a mandated reporter and that person reported her to the Title IX office where an investigation was done, and they put her on probation. Basically, she's not in good standing with the university and if she does anything else to violate the policy the punishment would be more severe. But I can't help but think I've made a mountain out of a molehill, I just wanted her to face some sort of consequence for what she did but I'm worried I overreacted and ruined her future because of it. AITA?
​
**TLDR: Roommate masturbated while I was in the room I reported her and now she's on probation and I don't know if I overreacted.**
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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ax4agr
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{
"description": "leaving my family vaca early because of my BIL",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for leaving my family vaca early because of my BIL?
|
AITA? My (28F) sister’s (31F) husband (31M) and I have a difficult relationship. When my sister and he started dating about 12 years ago he came on a family trip and got in the middle of a fight between my sister and me. After she struck me he put himself between her and me and being teenagers she continued to mock me behind his back. When I reached around him to push her he took my head and shoved me down into the bed I had been leaning on.
​
\ 
​
Things had been okay until last year while on a family trip to the Grand Canyon. He and my sister are married and have an infant daughter at this point which makes siteseeing challenging. After seeing a few lookout spots over a couple hours we were all in a van together coming up on another lookout. My father was driving and he gets overly dramatic if he doesn’t get clear instructions on whether to stop so we just told him to stop. Everyone decided to get out except my BIL who said he was going to wait with the baby and shut his eyes. At the time my niece was sleeping so it seemed fine.
​
\ 
​
My father and I took the longest to return to the car (30 min). When we got there I could tell that my BIL was in a bad mood but I didn’t know why. I guess the baby had started to cry not long after we left the car so he was left to calm her down by himself. We pile back into the car and get on our way. My mother starts doing this profuse apologizing thing that always gets my dad irritated but she was directing it at my BIL. She was apologizing for stopping at the lookout. Not knowing what had happened I tried to deescalate like I’m used to with my parents. I said “it’s fine, if someone doesn’t want to stop they’ll say they don’t want to stop.” Within seconds my BIL was cussing me out. I tried to explain that I didn’t mean anything by it but he wouldn’t accept it. Admittedly I did end up telling him that he’s been a grouchy jerk the whole time, but I had no malicious intent with the original comment.
​
\ 
​
Fast forward to tonight, a year later on another family trip. We’re playing scattegories and he’s 20 points ahead of me and almost everyone else. Some of the answers are BS and I challenge a few regardless of who it is. I had a bad feeling that he was going to get mad because he’s competitive so I made sure to ask if anyone disagreed with my answers if they were a stretch. His answer for “Furniture” that start with F was “fan”, and “things associated with money” that start with H was “heap”. After challenging a few of his answers he freaked out on me again.
​
\ 
​
I think I’m done coming on these trips. I adore my niece but I can’t stand acting friendly with him after he treats me so poorly. My boyfriend would never treat my sister that way and if he did I would take issue with it. So I’m cutting my trip short and leaving in the morning and don’t plan to participate in future trips with him. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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aov1k7
|
{
"description": "leaving my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my girlfriend?
|
so baisically at the end of last year my girlfreind just stopped replying my messages, and on the 17th of january, she texted me saying that for the past month that she'd been feeling really bad and her mental health had gone down the drain,
I told her that I'm always going to be there for her and she should always be able to talk to me, but she told me to stop and that she doesn't want to talk about it. So every few days I'd send her text messages saying how much I loved her and that I'm going to be there for her, Whitch she didn't reply- even on our 4 month anniversary, she didn't reply the message I sent her- at some point she actually answered one of my calls and when I asked her if she was okay and wanted to talk about it she said no and ended the call,
on Thursday I texted her saying I couldn't do it anymore and that I was breaking up with her- she actually replied that message saying she understood completely and hope we could still be friends- I said yes of course but now I feel like ive left her when she needs me most.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b3kfm7
|
{
"description": "saying we should put down our dog",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for saying we should put down our dog?
|
Would it be wrong of me to recommend putting our 18 year old blind, deaf, incontinent, newly diabetic shih-zu who has been with me since the beginning. Don’t get me wrong, I love him to death, but I just feel his quality of life has taken such a down turn in recent months and I hate seeing him in the pain he is in.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b5vmyu
|
{
"description": "not telling my Father that my Maternal Aunt died",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I Don't Tell My Father That My Maternal Aunt Died
|
Background: my parents are divorced because my father was an abusive, cheating AH. Mom's sister hated him for putting my mom through all of that, but tolerated him for the sake of us kids. Post divorce, I think she spoke with him 3 times, only at family functions.
Said aunt passed away this morning. It's been interesting getting word to family around the state. Father doesn't know yet, because it's not his business at this point. Her immediate family need time to process.
I know that my uncle, aunt's husband, was somewhat friends with my father for a while, although their friendship has faded over the years. Uncle was there to support all of us, especially my father, when my half brothers died.
I feel that if my father knows about my aunt's passing, he'll want to go to the funeral. This would be wildly inappropriate, given her feelings towards him but if he finds out on his own, or if my siblings and I wait to tell him until after the funeral, he'll throw a fit that no one tells him anything. He's also likely to throw a fit if we tell him not to go to the funeral.
I don't know if it has any bearing, but he did not tell my mom about his brother passing a year ago, and my siblings and I informed her later, after any family events. She is okay with all of this, and even said the most she would have done is send her condolences to my other uncles.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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{
"description": "throwing away my roommates dinner",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for throwing away my roommates dinner
|
Keeping the kitchen and living room clean in my apartment with my roommates has always been a struggle. During my first few months of living here I would wash all the dishes just to keep the kitchen clean, however that was hopeless because they would just take advantage of me washing the dishes and leave all their stuff out for me to wash. I started to just separate the dishes and pots that I bought from the others and put them in a separate cabinet and put a sign up saying that if my roommates use them they need to wash and put them away immediately, I do not care what they do with their own dishes. This leads to tonight, I had a rough day and come home to make some dinner, to see that my roommates have used my pot and all my cups because all of theirs were dirty because they didn't wash them. My pot was in the fridge with someones left over mac and cheese so I texted the roommate who I thought it was and he didn't respond for over an hour so I threw out his mac and cheese and washed the pot and cooked my dinner. AITA for throwing his dishes away and being so stubborn about my dishes? --- The roommate whose mac and cheese it was finally responded and said I should not have thrown it away because it was his dinner.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 21,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
ahimc1
|
{
"description": "being really annoyed with my \"friend\" for thinking everyone has a crush on her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being really annoyed with my "friend" for thinking everyone has a crush on her?
|
This is probably one of the stupidest posts on here but hear me out.
So I have this "friend" (let's call her A) and she constantly complains to me about how everyone likes her, or lists all the people who supposedly do - which, I'm 95% sure they don't, some of them even have girlfriends that are our friends -, or tells me things like "omg my boyfriend just sent me another like 10 paragraphs" and screenshots them all to me. To make matters worse, a guy who I had sort of a history with and now passionately hate, APPARENTLY likes her. I know for a fact that he doesn't, she used to like him while I still did and he was not interested in the slightest. A also casually brings this up even though she knows how upset I get whenever I hear even his name. But she has this idea in her head that every boy that talks to her has a crush on her. That's not how the world works.
I'm seriously considering, however, that I'm the real asshole. Mainly because I was talking to one of our mutual friends who I actually trust, and sent some screenshots of our chats while blocking the name out. I made sure she knew that I wasn't there to talk bad about A because she's always fun to talk to and (sometimes) there for me, and that she was just currently pissing me off big time and I needed to rant.
Thoughts? Is she being conceited? Or am I just being a salty asshole that no one likes me and a bitch for talking to my other friend about her?
(Sorry for probably many grammatical/spelling errors, typing on my phone and can't even be bothered to go back and reread.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
an77d3
|
{
"description": "not buying anything for my 19 year old brothers birthday",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA because i did not buy anything for my 19 year old brothers birthday?
|
My 19 year old older brother used to bully me when we were kids and he got away with it, In high school he managed to steal my girlfriend and now he steals money from my wallet when i'm around him and set it on like a table or something. So last week his 19th birthday came so of course everybody was buying stuff and rushing to the store because, He is the "Golden" Child of the family. he picks his birthday at a bowling ally and we go there. Do the usual thing, buy snacks, pick a table, get shoes, balls.
SO we were at the part of presents opening and he was going through them and noticed he got nothing from me and this happened.
brother: You didint buy anything?
Me : Nah didint feel like wasting my money.
Brother : Well why not?
i dont respond.
then the party finishes and we go home like usual
I was happy that night. VERY.
​
So was i the asshole for not buying anything for him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
arzd6w
|
{
"description": "leaving a note on a shared bag of cookies",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for leaving a note on a shared bag of cookies?
|
My stepdad sometimes buys everyone a small bag of cookies from the supermarket and leaves them on the kitchen counter. They come in a little brown resealable bag. It’s important to reseal the bag, because otherwise the cookies get stale.
The problem is that I often find the bag open. I know it’s not me, since I’ve been making sure that I close the bag. The only other person who eats them is my brother, so he must be the culprit.
I was thinking of leaving a little note on the bag telling everyone to close it, so if anyone takes some, they will close it. My mom says this is passive aggressive.
WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b71xk7
|
{
"description": "getting the same tattoo as my friend",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for getting the same tattoo as my friend?
|
So there’s this song that I really love, and in it there’s a line that I’ve been obsessed with since I first heard it. I told myself that I would get it tattooed one day. I just never had the money, until now.
Well a few months ago I met this girl who I quickly formed a friendship with. She was my first friend in this town since I moved here last new years. We’ve got a lot of shared interests and our personalities are compatible. Overall, I don’t think she’s a bad person or anything, I actually really like her. Anyway, when we were first becoming friends, I showed her the song and told her the tattoo idea because I was excited about it. Apparently that was a bad idea. She loved it. So much so that she got it tattooed herself a few weeks later, before I could.
At the time, I thought, “I guess I’ll just get another line from that song tattooed instead.” I was really upset but she had already gotten the tattoo so there wasn’t much I could do about it after that.
However I now have the funds to get it tattooed. I decided to say fuck it and get the same lyrics tattooed, because it’s what I really wanted and I don’t want to compromise something important to me and permanent like this.
I told her, and her reaction was “You’re gonna get that tatted???? Same thing as me??? they have like 500 songs isn’t there a different lyric you could get?” Which pissed me off, because it was my idea. She just had the resources to get it tattooed first. I told her that, and she’s being passive aggressive about it. Obviously, I know she can’t tell me what to do and that I can get those lyrics tattooed on me if I want. It’s not even gonna be in the same spot or in the same font.
Am I being the asshole by still getting the tattoo instead of just letting it go or getting another lyric? This is upsetting me and I don’t want to get the tattoo if every time I look at it I just feel like I was an asshole in this situation.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
aukguz
|
{
"description": "offering a single mom help with her kids",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I offered a single mom help with her kids?
|
Right off the title it sounds like I’m an asshole lol. But hear me out, also this is my first post and on mobile so hope nothing formats weird
Anyways, I’m a 20 year old male going to college in a big college town. I’ve been in the same apartment complex for a year or year and a half. It’s a 2 bedroom townhouse style because my little brother lives with our mom like 3ish hours away and sometimes likes to come visit.
Like most college towns, there’s a pretty high amount of low income people in the area, my area included. As I’ve lived here, one of my neighbors, a single mom with 2 kids maybe 8 and 6 (I’m really bad at figuring out ages) have become pretty good friends. I walk to the local grocery store a lot and if the kids ever see me they ask if they can come, of course I say yes and they come and we talk about whatever is going on in their lives sometimes it’s pretty sad hearing about, I usually buy them a snack or treat or whatever, and they and their mom are really appreciative, usually once or twice a month they come with me. They’re super sweet kids and the mom is great, they got me a pack of cookies and a homemade card they made in school for Christmas and she always asks me over to dinner
Now my mom is a single mother and I come from a pretty low income family myself. Now I have a great internship and a really nice job lined up and am making enough to be self sufficient. I’m curious if I would be an asshole or if it would be weird asking if her kids want to come over sometimes so she can have some time to herself. The older kid talks about not being able to play video games because they can’t afford to get all the stuff, and I have the things he wants to play and all that. I don’t want to act like “oh I’m better than you” and all that or be creepy asking them to come over. I just want to lend a helping hand because I know what that mom is going through
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Wvp7RFEI000KSgWLwvAe1TVeJX4pS7l0
|
a48naz
|
{
"description": "resenting my mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for resenting my mom?
|
My mom was raised by her grandparents and always had a close relationship with them. So when I was 5 we moved into their house so my mom could help take care of them in their old age. By the time I was around 12 both of my great grandparents were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. My great grandpa passed away before he got too bad. My great grandma on the other hand was very sick. She had no short term memory anymore. She was in diapers. She forgot how to feed herself. She couldn’t even really walk anymore. For a while it was my mom and dad taking care of her, but shortly after my great grandmother reached this point in her illness, my mom got pregnant. As soon as my mom found out she was pregnant all of her responsibilities with my great grandmother fell on 13 year old me.
I changed her diapers because it made my mom throw up, I fed her, I bathed her because my mom could t hold her up (all with some help from my siblings but it was for the most part all on me). My dad couldn’t help much because he worked a lot. So I was balancing middle/ high school and taking care of an 80 year old woman with Alzheimer’s. My grades started to slip and I became depressed. I couldn’t handle the stress of doing everything on my own but I had no choice. By freshman year I was suicidal. I’ve never admitted this out loud before but, as much as I loved my great grandmother, I was relieved when she passed away. This made me feel so guilty and added to my depression. I was actually hospitalized for a little while because I was suicidal. I never told my mom that my depression stemmed from this situation with my great grandparents.
Today I am happy and have a great relationship with my mom, but I can’t help but have some resentment towards her for putting all of that responsibility on me at such a young age. AITA for resenting my mom?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
qfL5abG9FpHuITs5llR2LeqP4Sl54EOa
|
a5f8jz
|
{
"description": "attacking an autistic kid",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for attacking an autistic kid?
|
more like Who Is The Asshole (WITA), as it was a friend who asked me.
So a fight happened today. My best friend, lets call him Little, went head to head with an autistic kid today. We made a holographic pyramid in a different class for end of year fun, and this period we were chilling doing maths problems. Around the end of the period, we realised the autistic kid (who we will call Iron) had Little’s pyramid.
He started ripping it up and throwing it on the ground. Little went up to him and said for him to give him back his pyramid, but Iron just went
“NO! I dont give a fucking shit whos it is, its mine now.”
Little persisted and asked him again if he could have it back where at this point Iron got up and grabbed his arm and screamed some gibberish in his face. Little said “get off me!” and pushed him off him. At this point everything exploded.
Now let me get some things clear. Iron is a 6 foot kid, while Little is a 50kg 4’11” asian kid. Theyve had multiple confrontations, mostly over Iron destroying or stealing Littles property, and usually Little gets in trouble because the head of house has a bit of favouritism for Iron. He is around the ASd level 2 or 3 range, so it usually gets excused as a “incident” than something wrong.
Iron grapples Little, and Little does nothing, since he learned his lesson about hitting him before. It got to the point where 3 people were trying to pull Iron off Little and the fact that Little’s face was tomato red that he fought back. I pull him by the arms and hold him for a bit, then I let him go. He goes for a Goku kick to the hip, but im out of the class by the time he does it. He stomps around terrorising the other students for a bit while he and I are pulled out of class by a group of teachers, and then the day ends as normal.
He feels really bad and worried now so im posing the question to you:
WITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
lXvNzRBqUrFg38Mlx3ntIpdUEWdBSXCg
|
b8y1wx
|
{
"description": "not involving my fiancé's mom in wedding planning",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not involving my fiancé’s mom in wedding planning
|
Throwaway, but I lurk here. I posted about this in r/justnomil, but I wanted to post here to get some different opinions.
I’m (30F) getting married to my fiancé (30M) in the fall. We’re both very independent people and are paying for this wedding on our own. I already have my dress, and we have the venue, colors, and other major details planned out.
My mother passed away a few years ago. My dad recently got remarried and my new stepmom has personally reached out to me to offer her help and will be helping with certain tasks. My other family members have also volunteered to do things.
We are not close to my fiancé’s side of the family. We rarely talk to his mother and don’t spend much time with her because she’s a very difficult person to be around.
My fiancé saw his mom earlier this week and she had a full on crying fit about the wedding. She’s hurt because she thought she would be going dress shopping with me and would do mother of the bride (MOB) stuff because my mom isn't around. She is threatening to not go because she feels so left out.
She hasn’t reached out to me to ask me any questions about planning at all. We also don’t talk. Also, traditionally, mothers of the groom (MOG) don’t do much. I don’t know why she expected to take on a central role in wedding planning when she isn’t a big part of either of our lives and she has made no effort to contact me.
She’s saying I should be the one the reach out to her and make her feel welcomed. I disagree. I don’t think the couple getting married should need to reach out to people, and that people that want to help should (and have) made that known. She also seems fixed on MOB tasks and doesn't seem interested in doing MOG stuff.
We’ve also decided that we can’t trust her any important tasks if she’s already threatening to not come. But I still feel bad that she’s apparently gutted over this.
So, AI/AWTA for not involving my fiancé’s mom in wedding planning?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 14,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HK1dpPwr7Aw11mQo9ea5qI954Jqo1rY6
|
aa8i2v
|
{
"description": "selling the football tickets I had bought for my (now) ex boyfriend after he told me to sell them",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for selling the football tickets I had bought for my (now) ex boyfriend after he told me to sell them?
|
Way back in Sept I bought my now ex bf tickets to the Baltimore vs LAC this past weekend, to be part bday present, part Xmas present. He’s a huge Baltimore fan.
He often can’t afford to buy himself food, much less tickets to a game. So I knew it would be a hit.
In Nov I found out he had been lying to me about his herpes status from the start of the relationship. He revealed that he was diagnosed a decade ago. (Even when I straight up asked that he get tested for everything before we had sex and talked about sexual health. He lied about his results.)
And then the week before the game, I found out that he had been talking about our relationship, from day 1, with a friend of his with whom I work. I specifically asked him to please talk to anyone about us **except** that one friend because my work is a big gossip mill and I try to stay out of the grind as much as possible. Well, I’m definitely fodder now.
Obviously, I broke up with him after the herpes reveal but I lingered a little because I’m dumb. Even taking him to a fancy steak dinner for his bday the first week of December.
The day of the game I text him his ticket, thinking I’d just eat the costs of my ticket. He says thank you but I wanted to go with you. I can’t in good conscious use the ticket after everything I’ve done so “why don’t you try to sell them.”
I say, “You’re right you don’t deserve them I was just trying to keep a promise. I will try to sell them.”
Then I posted them up for resale.
We keep texting a bit, him saying he’s so sorry, he misses me, and me saying he’s such a jerk. The tickets sold in less than 30 mins. I severely underpriced them, just trying to get my money back. And I text him, “Sold. Thanks for telling me to sell them. Don’t know why I didn’t think of selling them. Nostalgic, I guess.”
Suddenly he’s pissed.
“I can’t believe you sold them just like that. I was trying to be humble and you sold them.”
“You must really hate me.”
“You only sent me one of the tickets.”
“I’m so pissed, I’ve wanted to go to that game for two years!”
I truly don’t understand. I sent him the stupid ticket without him even asking, no strings attached. He certainly wasn’t even expecting the ticket at that point. And he’s the one that suggested I sell them to try to get my money back. I actually didn’t realize what a hot commodity they were. And I kept them until the day of because I knew I might go with him because, like I said before, I’m dumb.
But now he’s acting like l did something incredibly wrong, like kick a puppy or lie about herpes. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lIg35fkn7VcuRV5kdXlMvUuOJmKnZOTC
|
ba0k2w
|
{
"description": "ending my friendship with my best friend because she likes my stepbrother",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for ending my friendship with my best friend because she likes my stepbrother?
|
My stepbrother and I have a very bad relationship. I don't want to go into details, but please understand I did cause some of the conflicts, and that it is not an entirely one sided ordeal. But basically, my stepbrother is extraordinarily hateful towards me, and has gone out of his way to act very childish towards me. The cause for this is that around 2 years ago, I used to be a massive bitch, essentially. I was the entitled, gossiping, bitchy sister who acted very narcissistic. I lost all my friends and realized it was my fault. Since then I have had a wake up call and since changed my behaviors radically.
​
But, my brother refuses to see that I've changed, and I don't know why. I've made peace with those I've wronged. I've apologized sincerely and made amends to anyone I hurt. But, despite it being years later, he goes out of his way to gossip and spread rumors about me that aren't true. For example, when I quit my job as a stocker at Walmart, half the town believed it was because they caught me using drugs due to him gossiping and lying about the real reason I quit, which was to upkeep my grades in school, since they were failing.
Nonetheless, Ive decided to share no mutual friends with him. My friend, who I'll call X, by some chance, have a class with my brother. About X, I want to be very clear I have no problems with her behavior, just not when it's with my stepbrother, who I have a bad relationship with. She catches feelings extremely easy and sleeps around quite a lot, especially if she likes the guy. I don't care and remind her always to be safe because she can be careless about it, i.e. not wearing condoms. I just don't want her to do it with my stepbrother.
I told her of my past with him and explained that I do not care if she talks to him in the class, but if she befriends him, then I'll exit myself out of the picture because of the rule. I don't want to control who she's friends with (this is the only thing I ever threatened to end our friendship over) and that It's entirely her choice.
​
Because I said I don't care if she talks to him in the class, within a week, she took that as a green light and has a crush on him, sleeping with him, and going to partying with him.
I cut her off and now her sister is calling me an asshole, and she's telling everyone I said it was okay and that I'm just a controlling bitch. BTW, she was my date to prom, and I'm getting called an asshole because I cancelled on her a week before prom, and that I was being controlling and jealous.
​
AITA?
​
TL;DR Me and my brothers relationship is rocky, and I have a rule to not share mutual friends. My prom date, also best friend, has a class with him, I told her I don't care if they talk in that class, just don't become friends. Within a week she's his friend, sleeping with him, and partying with him. I ended the friendship with her a week before prom and now I'm being called the asshole by her sister. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zb0yMLSR1yeZFiN8pGsI5DvcFJ829eLG
|
as0deh
|
{
"description": "asking my bf not to go on holiday",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for asking my BF not to go on holiday?
|
Me (F32) and my BF(M32) have been together 4 years. Every year, his parents book a week long holiday in June, for my BF, his son, and the parents. I've never been invited and I'm okay with it of course because I always want to encourage him to go and spend time with his family. I should also note that his parents have never accepted me, whenever I see them his parents ignore me, they've never asked me anything about myself or tried to include me in anything.
Last week, his mum told us that she's booked the holiday and gave us the dates theyd booked and they're over my birthday. My birthday is in June but it's never clashed with their holiday before. Originally my boyfriend assumed that because she told us while I was there, it meant I was invited but we've since discovered I'm not invited.
He said he won't go if he doesn't want me to, because it's my birthday, but I can tell he really wants to go. He also really wants them to invite me, but honestly even if I was I wouldn't want to go because I don't like the idea of spending my birthday with people who don't like me much. But I don't want to tell him not to go, because it's a week away with his parents and his son, and they always have a really lovely time. I've told my boyfriend a bit of how I feel but I feel really guilty like I'd be stopping him having a good time. I don't want to be a bitch, but I'm also frustrated because this could have been resolved if they just asked my boyfriend what dates would work instead of just booking them, and a bit hurt that after 4 years they still don't know when my birthday is (I don't expect them to know the exact date, but they could have at least learnt which month it was in)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
eXNrSeruZagQaZnnLPICf7zX9luFNyBn
|
a09c9g
|
{
"description": "telling the hosts of our D&D game that their baby is an issue",
"pronormative_score": 53,
"contranormative_score": 106
}
|
AITA for telling the hosts of our D&D game that their baby is an issue?
|
I've been a part if a grop of adults that get together to play DND every week for about 3 years now. We've mostly had our games at the home of a married couple that we are all friends with. They go out of their way to rearrange their basement for us to play, and they have a large supply of game paraphernalia and minis that belong to the husband. They also usually supply snacks, although others bring some to share as well. I've always appreciated that they open up their home to use for game nights, most if us would not have the space that we need to get together.
A little more than a year ago, they had a baby. I have no issues with children in general, I just don't have a lot of experience with them. The wife also started playing in our games (there are 2 different ones), which I was really excited about because she is a good friend of mine. Previously there had been a long-running game with heavy storyline that would have been hard to get into, but with the new ones starting she took that chance.
Now to the issue. The baby is mobile, loud, and a distraction. He gets into things he's not supposed to and has landed them in the emergency room because they thought he had eaten something dangerous during one of our games (he was fine, but better safe than sorry). When he starts making a lot of noise, either the wife or the husband would have to leave the table to take care of him. This would either cause them to miss the storyline or combat, or stall the game for a long time. If they just end up missing what goes on, we still have to explain all of the events that happened when they get back. The baby also screams while playing and causes headaches for many.
I am not the DM for either of the two games that are hosted at that house, so I didn't want to be the one to bring up the issue with them. Please note that everyone came to the consensus that the baby was an issue and was effecting everyone's enjoyment. We are busy adults and we have little time for ourselves, and game nights are how we all unwind and have fun. It was becoming more stress and headaches than fun.
After a few months of trying to deal with the issue, it was finally brought up by one of the dm's to the couple. The wife didn't take it well. She apparently said something like "so I can't play ever again." She has removed herself from all of the group chats and from what I hear she is still very upset more than a week later. I have a lot of empathy for how she's feeling so I feel horrible. I wanted her to be included and to spend time with her because she is my friend.
I would also feel like an ass for suggesting that they pay for a babysitter because I know babies are not cheap and the husband just got let go from his job of over 10 years.
TLDR: The couple that hosts our gane nights at their house had a baby, baby becomes an issue and distraction, wife can no longer participate even though she was just able to join. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 92,
"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 14,
"NOBODY": 19,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 53,
"WRONG": 106
}
|
WRONG
|
Od7AcivY5OSZ4Wi43A1KDKHzBBmYj92x
|
a0wlca
|
{
"description": "completely ignoring my father and resenting him for what he did to me as a child",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for completely ignoring my father and resenting him for what he did to me as a child?
|
Growing up my father was an alcoholic, he was also physically and verbally abusive. He would call me stupid and retarded every day. He would tell me things like "you're so retarded were gonna make you wear a helmet to school" or when I would cry he would say "you're acting like a girl you pussy."
One time at dinner I told him I wanted to kill myself and he told me I'm too much of a pussy to do it. All of this happened when I was 12. The list goes on and on.
When I was younger he would toss me around, pin me against the wall. He even went as far as choking me once which I'm pretty sure he doesn't even remember because he was extremely drunk.
Im 21 now and he seems to have changed now and he doesnt drink as much anymore and he doesnt get angry or does anything abusive to me anymore. My mother tells me he constantly asks how I'm doing and what's going on with me. When he tries to talk to me though or says hey I dont even look at him and barely muster anything out. I havent ever had an actual conversation with him.
I feel no love or sympathy for him at all because of what hes done to me. I've constantly struggled with terrible low self esteem, depression and anxiety which I blame most of him for. Im old enough to change it now but I still feel alot of hate for him that he did this to me.
AITA for holding this grudge and ignoring him like I do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
kUL4iz6PJySm3BT8OnDC4E4O3tcoQO7O
|
aczqqa
|
{
"description": "not going on a date with my sick girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going on a date with my sick girlfriend.
|
My girlfriend of 8 months has had weekend plans for about a week. Time with friends, a meeting in the city, etc. We get together every day after work/ school, and have the weekends together too. I love her, so seeing her every day is not a problem for me, its a blessing. But this weekend knowing she would be busy, I made plans for myself to stay in and get stuff done. Nothing I couldn't cancel but just alone time and cleaning up. But most importantly hobby work I was excited to have time to do. But today (Saturday) She felt under the weather (stomach ache) and canceled on the friend of hers. So now she wants to go out to dinner and be with me tonight. Again I love spending time with her but this alone time felt sacred. So I say "not tonight" and she makes me feel bad because she's sick. Anyway Am I the Asshole for not wanting to make plans tonight?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AYTgWzNU8VuGoBpHOWsf2vv7C9Z2zQl2
|
ayttp6
| null |
AITA - Crazy Ex Break Up
|
I dated a woman ("GF") for about 6 months and can honestly say she was the craziest I've ever dated. Given her craziness, I was thinking of breaking up with her. Unfortunately, on the HOT/CRAZY scale, she was definitely above the line. I’m only human.
A big group of friends and I were going to a college football game in a limo-bus. GF begged to be invited to the game so as to meet my friends, participate in a significant life event, and cement her standing as GF. Against my good judgment I relented and extended the invitation. I told her if she pulled any of her normal craziness my usual tolerance and good humor would be lower than normal given that this was one of my favorite days of the year and these were exclusively my friends.
We meet the limo and travel to the tailgate. GF is going out of her way to show that we are a couple and she is a permanent fixture in my life. She is also hanging ALL OVER me. I’m affectionate, but have a particular disdain for PDA, which she knows.
We head to the game. Unfortunately, she has become fast friends with a guy ("That Guy") and his wife in our group who I don't really like. He and I never had beef, but he and his wife are odd. As a group we have about 30 seats together and I tell GF I'd prefer not to sit next to That Guy when we go into the game.
GF in full crazy/drunk mode. I'm actually in a happy buzzed mood. GF insists we sit next to That Guy and his wife and, though a little peeved, I relent. Also, GF is hanging all over me, kissing, biting my ears, and making a big show of how much of a COUPLE we really are to everyone. I ask GF politely 10-15 times to please stop.
My friends, who I have known for 15 years know me as reasonable and calm. I’ve never lost my shit in front of them, but they can tell I'm losing it with GF and with a blowout win under way, they focus on the spectacle at hand.
After the 20th time, I firmly tell her "Hey, I've asked you many times today...please stop hanging on me. It's not the time or place, it's distracting and I really don't like it." It was not a shout, but a firm statement loud enough for those around us to hear. GF, fully in her drunken crazy state, proceeds to turn to That Guy’s wife and loudly shouts "I hate it when he drinks!!!! He becomes such an asshole!!"
I always considered embarrassing your significant other in public a cardinal sin. So, I turn to GF & moderately shout, "Hey! If you're going to talk shit, get the fuck out! We're done?" My friends who, remember, have never seen me lose it, let out a collective gasp.
She left & hid on the limo bus for the rest of the game. I enjoyed the second half. We sat separately on the limo bus home, got in the car at the drop off point, I drove GF to her townhouse and dropped her off without saying a word, and we never spoke again.
Now, at the annual game, nobody talks about the game that day, but everyone wants to relive the break up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
B7qlIG61boWeM68N4587cdvyZPkRXQWb
|
ariw8c
| null |
AITA - Girlfriend and I had a pretty bad fight last light. Might be single tomorrow.
|
So last night we celebrated Valentine's Day. I moved my work schedule around so that I'd be off yesterday evening and today so we could sleep in together, which is a rare treat for us.
While I was about to get off work around 3 pm, she was at the bar getting drinks with her friend.
I tell her I'm leaving work and she heads home. I arrive and she's fairly tipsy. I'm a little annoyed because once she gets a buzz going it's usually hard to stop her from getting wasted, and I have a really nice date planned for us.
But whatever, we have an hour+ drive to the restaurant. Maybe she'll sober up. But no, she chooses to bring more beer with her and drinks more in the car. I asked her a couple times to be sure that was a good idea and she reassured me it was fine.
We arrive to the restaurant and she's already starting to slur her words. Now mind you, we didn't go to Chili's. We actually went to the most expensive restaurant either of us ever ate at. Ended up being $240. We're not rich so it was definitely supposed to be a special occasion. But instead she insists on ordering two more cocktails there and by the end of it she is struggling to stand up straight while leaving the restaurant. But for the sake of our date I act like everything's fine and go on like normal.
Next up we have a burlesque/circus show to attend. (Paranormal Cirque in Saint Augustine FL for those curious). By the time we get there, she's passed out drink. I try to wake her, she tells me to fuck off. I give her 15 minutes to nap in the car, and again after trying to wake her she tells me to fuck off because she's drunk. I already paid $100 for VIP tickets to this thing, and we'd have our own little section. I didn't want to sit there by myself, so I just left and started to drive us home. I'll go to like a movie or dinner by myself, but a show like that just wouldn't be fun to go to alone, especially with an open VIP seat next to you in a sold out show.
Halfway home she starts giving me shit about leaving because she "told me" that if I would just go in then she would follow me in shortly after she got a little more sleep. That conversation didn't happen at all. I started to give her shit about the whole situation and she kept blaming me for ruining our date and I blew up. I'm not the type to yell, but I was furious. I sarcastically thanked her for wasting $340 and my time and 3 hours of driving just for her to get so drunk she nearly fell out of the restaurant and we couldn't even attend the show we were looking forward to all week. She again blames me and passed back out.
It's currently 4 am and she just woke up and kicked me out of bed, and I didn't put up much of a fight. She just texted me while waiting this that she wants me to move out.
I might do that, but first- am I the asshole? Should I just be okay with her getting so plastered that we have to end our date early?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 187,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
F9SgxGI0px1zpTj3iPCyFAWrgXpvOs7z
|
aspjwz
|
{
"description": "starting to dislike my best friend because she has changed a lot over the past year",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for starting to dislike my best friend because she has changed a lot over the past year?
|
I’m sorry for any mistakes, I’m not from an english speakibg country.
Me and Zoe(not her real name) have been best friends since 10th grade with another girl, Ana.
Me and Zoe moved to another city for college( different colleges but in the same city) and we’re actually roomates, while Ana went to college in another city. We still have our group chat where we keep in touch.
Since the first months I’ve noticed that Zoe is starting to change a little bit but so was I because we met new people and had different experiences. However over the past like 6 months she’s been drinking heavily and goes clubbing all the time and comes home in the morning and she is really obsessed with impressing other people. She even started smoking occasionally which I know for sure we have agreed that we absolutely hate.
She also once tried some drugs and at that point i wasn’t even trying to say to her to be careful because she wouldn t listen anyway. Also she had a FWB situatioj with a boy that almost all her friends disagreed and she also slept with him while he had a girlfriend and she admitted she wasn’t feeling guilty at all. At this point i was unfortunately kind of disgusted with her because i absolutely hate cheating, but I havent expressed any of this feelings.
Also me and Ana the other friend from our trio have agreed that she has changed a lot and she feels that she s really kind of an aquintance rather than a friend.
While i understant that in your 20s you grow up and kind of discover yourself but this seems like too much and a very drastic change and i really cant help but judge her and try to ignore when shes bragging about drinking and other stuff so that i dont encourage it.
Also our relationship kind of became sour and she definitely doesn’t really want to hang out with me and our other roomate (who is actually her cousin) even if we invite her. It feels like living with a stranger.
So AITA here? I cant help but feel like one because she was my bff and it feels like a too drastic change and i dont recognize this person she has became but at the same time i feel i should just shut up and support her like a real friend would do.
Tldr: my bff from highschool had a really drastic change in the first year of college and i feel like shit for judgeing her when maybe i should support her because maybe she s just discovering herself.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "only typing something while my lab partners physically write",
"pronormative_score": 8,
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|
AITA for only typing something while my lab partners physically write
|
So, for context I have Dsygraphia, a learning disability that effects handwriting, and in my research class we're working on building a product in groups and have to record progress in a log book shared by our group. Now because even paragraphs are exhausting and painful to write I mostly type my progress, print, sign, and glue it into the notebook, which what my teacher told me to do. off. My partners have been giving me dirty looks when I refuse to write a long paragraph, well long to at me least, and type instead. The thing is, my handwriting speed and neatness is very bad and if I tried to write in the notebook and have it be readable, it would take forever and be extremely painful. I told them about my disability and they didn't to fully understand it but said I would still have to my share and I'm trying but it seems like I'm leaving them to more work while I just type and print.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b3vu80
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{
"description": "messaging some girl on Facebook",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
WIBTA If I Messaged Some Girl On Facebook
|
So today I was standing on the train and saw this most beautiful girl. I'm taller than her and saw over her shoulder her facebook. I was thinking of what to say when we were on the train but I got nervous and before I could act she was gone.
I feel like an idiot because I should've said something and yet I have facebook. I could message her but that is also pretty creepy and feels assholeish. What do you all think?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
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awmrxd
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{
"description": "thinking this guy wanted to mug be",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking this guy wanted to mug be?
|
So I'm walking down a road on the pavement vape in one hand looking at my phone in the other. A chap goes past me, short hair almost skinhead, 40s, smelling like he bathed in aftershave. He looks down at my phone as he passes.
I look at my bag and realise my wallet is at the top in a easily grabbed manner and tuck it back in.
The guy has turned to look back at me.
he gets offended and shouts at me 'I'm just walking by!'
am I the arsehole for thinking he was going to mug me (cause I think that anyone else would just think I was sorting out my handbag)
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not being ready when my mum asked",
"pronormative_score": 0,
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|
AITA for not being ready when my mum asked?
|
This happened today and I’m still confused about whether or not I’ve actually done anything wrong.
This morning, I was supposed to go back to university about 2 hours away from my hometown. My mum asked me to be fully packed by 10am because she had a race to get to, and she wanted to leave in enough time.
She comes to talk to me at 9am, and tells me to start getting ready. I have a shower, get dressed, and start packing. Ordinarily, an hour would be plenty of time to do these tasks, but I have quite a lot of stuff to pack (suitcase of clothes, and two medium sized boxes of electronics and other stuff). I’ve packed most of my electronics ahead of time, so they’re not much of an issue. As I pack my suitcase, my mum comes to see how I’m doing and begins getting frustrated at how long I’m taking. Personally, I thought I was going a perfectly reasonable pace as I was trying to not to crease all my clothes, but whatever, I’ll pick up the pace a bit.
At about half past 9, I get called downstairs to say goodbye to my grandma, which takes up about 5 minutes. I’m aware that time is slipping away, so I try to get finished as quickly as possible. My mum comes to nag me twice more as I attempt to get everything packed.
At 9:50, she gives me an ultimatum: get everything downstairs and in the car in 5 minutes, or she’ll leave without me. At this point, I am almost completely packed, save for a few things still to round up. I try to tell her this to convince her to wait a little longer, but she just reiterates her ultimatum.
9:55 comes around, and I have finished everything but the suitcase. My mum, however, has had enough and storms off. She leaves without me, leaving me feeling pretty pissed off that she couldn’t just wait a few more minutes for me, or help me take stuff downstairs instead of just standing at the door glaring at me, especially seeing as I finished packing at about 10 past 10.
Now my mum is asking me to “apologise for my behaviour” before she’ll take me back to university tomorrow.
AITA for not getting ready sooner, or am I right in thinking that I actually haven’t done anything wrong, much less anything worth apologising for?
|
HISTORICAL
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as7i88
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{
"description": "having sex with a widow after her husbands been dead for two months",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For having sex with a widow after her husbands been dead for two months?
|
Im a twenty two year old male who works at a car dealership as a sales coordinator (the title makes it sound more glamorous than it is). One of the saleswomen is a thirty six year old woman who ive grown close too over several years (ive been here since i was 19).
She is amazingly sexy, even for an older woman. She and myself have had an unspoken thing for a long time, but she was married and no lines were crossed.
Her husband was the head mechanic at our work who recently died of a heart attack. He was in his late 50s and overweight with a history of health problems. He died in his bed.
She was broken up about it obviously and has been seeking me out for comfort. We were already very close and she asked me if i could make her "feel good" as shes been miserable.
We had sex in her home, in the same bed he died in. Idk im pointing that out, i didnt think about it at the time.
Weve had sex two times after and im addicted to her. Ive told my best friend who sort of made a cringe face and said that its kinda odd and that he would never do it himself with a widow like that where her husband died after only 2 months.
I think our history and me getting her through this time makes it deeper than that. Am i the bad guy?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b5xwea
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{
"description": "calling my sister out for procrastinating",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling my sister out for procrastinating
|
So throw away cause I dont need the fight if she finds out.
My sister is a single mother. She has two kids. She dated drug addicts and got kids and debt.
We all try and help her out as much as we can. I am out of work and I end up watching her kids from time to time. It's not to bad it's usually only on days when one of the kids is sick.
Sometimes it ends up though that we have to watch both til she is done work. She has to walk about 20 blocks.
I have no issue with any of this. What I have an issue is she will stop and play a video game during her walk home. She can make this walk in 30 mins more or less when she has the kids with her. Alone she can be closer to 2 hrs. I can see her playing cause I play the game to.
I call her out on it every time in front of the family. She grumbles but I am not nasty more reminding her of her priorities. I feel bad for it but at the same time I shouldn't have to watch her kids extra time so she can play a game.
Am I the asshole
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "pointing out to my boyfriend he went back on what he said",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for pointing out to my boyfriend he went back on what he said?
|
My boyfriend has a cousin who has always been a bit cold towards me. Don’t know why. I have never done anything to her. She’s a lot more warm with other significant other’s of the family. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this and he generally agrees with me. I don’t dislike her, but I also can’t really say she’s my favorite person either.
Her daughter’s birthday party is coming up, and initially my boyfriend said (not word for word), “eff her, she’s a bitch. I’m not going.” The party is on a Saturday, and I work on Saturdays so I wasn’t really planning on going anyways. I’m also not really close to the daughter.
Now, today my boyfriend says that he’s going, and I was like, “oh, you’re going?” And he says, “yeah, I’m going for the food.” Then I proceeded to joke around and be all like, “if you hadn’t gone at least I would have *respected* you because now you’ve gone back on your word” (kinda like that episode in Friends where Phoebe points out how Ross goes back on his beliefs on evolution). I even threw in a Naruto joke about how going back on your word isn’t “my ninja way.” So, I felt that with all these references, it was obviously a joke. He even laughed at the first one. And THEN he made a complete 180 and was like “quit shitting on me” and “why are you mad at me?” I just stopped talking after that.
So, Reddit, am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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aedq44
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{
"description": "wanting to play video games a couple hours every day after work",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for wanting to play video games a couple hours every day after work?
|
My wife complains that we never hang out at home together. I usually play a couple hours of video games everyday while she watches Netflix. I'm not a big TV watcher and usually read at work, so if I have nothing to do at home, I play something on my ps4.
She is constantly complaining that we never hang out at home together. We watch plenty of movies, cook together, run errands together, etc, but her version of hanging out usually means trying to think of something to do until we end up sitting on our phones for an hour before I finally just get up and play video games.
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b4pwap
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{
"description": "talking to the manager about a creepy guy in a coffee shop",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I talked to the manager about a creepy guy in a coffee shop?
|
There’s a local coffee shop I often attend to do homework on weekends. I’m often there for several hours at a time. There’s a man who comes in there and is usually there most of the day. He sits down, orders a coffee, and just stares at the wall. I think he might be high but I don’t know for sure. He bounces his legs a lot and sometimes he stares at me and then looks away when I see him. I see him doing the same to other young women.
He hasn’t said or done anything disruptive, doesn’t seem to want to hurt anyone, he just sits there with his coffee and stares. I have nothing to go on but the heeby jeebies. Would I be the asshole if I mentioned it to a manager? Am I overreacting? Would the coffee shop even be able to do anything? This can’t be just me, other people have to notice too...
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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ajoes7
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{
"description": "telling my boyfriend that his bad sleeping habits are affecting me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I tell my boyfriend that his bad sleeping habits are affecting me?
|
Hello! So first I want to say that English isn't my first language and also this is my first post on here so feel free of correcting my grammar.
Okay now my boyfriend and I have been living together for about a year and a half. I'm a person that enjoys sleeping but he seems like not having to sleep (always staying up till very late even tho he's waking up early)
The thing is that he's always waking me up with the noise of his phonr, at night, at 3 am or even at 6am and I always wake up and tell him to please lower the volume since I'm sleeping right next to him (sometimes even wen we're cuddling and I'm deeply asleep he puts a video on his phone (he usually fels asleep watching videos or series at night and most of the time I turn off the screen when he fels asleep so I can sleep) full volume right next to my ear at witch I wake up scared and tell him to lower the volume)
But this morning it annoyed me the most because:
1-. Last night I feel asleep at 9:30pm as he was in the living room playing, came to the room aroun 11pm with a full volume video on his phone waking me up.
2-. This morning he went to the bathroom around 6am and keept watching a video with full volume for over 20 minutes at witch I went to the bathroom told him to lower the volume and closed the bathroom door
3-. When he came back to bed I told him again how annoyed I am with him waking me up every time he's watching a video like he can't even be considerated towards my sleep at witch he said "you could wake up with me as well" like??? No I'd rather sleep tru the night and rest properly for when I'm leaving the house to work
4-. After that he kept watching videos next to me and telling me things like "listen to this" until like 7:30 am that I asked him what time it was and he COMPLAINED THAT I WAKED HIM FROM A DREAM
I gave him a petty answer like "oh what a shame right?" And left for work and left him sleeping (we both work and have really flexible schedules)
So how can I tell him that his bad sleeping is annoying me without being an asshole or without him brushing it off and satisfying that I'm just lazy??
Sorry it's too long I'm pretty frustrated
TD;LR How do I tell my boyfriend he is disturbing my sleep waking me up at random moments of the night/morning with really loud Facebook videos or anime when I'm sleeping next to him or watching videos in bed until he fels asleep without being an asshole or coming across as lazy or overreacting?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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a81p8s
|
{
"description": "challenging a disabled mans behaviour",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for challenging a disabled mans behaviour?
|
I work in a public building as a receptionist/ cashier. We have a large number of disabled visitors on a daily basis, both physical and mentally disabled people, some with some without carers. We have several regulars who come in on the same days and times every week. For the past 2 years there has been one guy who's behaviour has slowly become creepier towards me and 1 other receptionist.
He comes in every day around 4pm, our dead period, often he is the only customer at the time. He pauses at the desk to wave at us, then walks in to the building. Walks around for 15mins. Then leaves, pausing briefly again to wave.
This is what he does to everyone. They just say "hi" "goodbye" and wave back.
Over the year he started to act odd, until it reached the point where I felt so uncomfortable around him that I will leave the desk and hide if I see him coming.
To me, and one other girl, he will enter the building, stand and wave. If we are with another customer or on the phone, he will stand directly in front of us and wave, until we respond.
Then he will stand there. Just stand there directly in front of us motionless like a statue not saying or doing anything except blow in our faces or open mouth cough. This will continue until we walk away, or someone else comes in to reception.
If we are not at the desk he actively hunts us down and stares at us.
For my coworker, he has gone a step further having seen her walk to work and has started appearing waiting at a corner then stepping in front of her and doing his stare thing.
We have reported it at every stage to our managers. They have found us hiding from him. We have told every staff member in the building how uncomfortable we where about the situation. It is even on camera. But at every step of the way we get the same response "yes but he's got problems." "He's clearly disabled. Be more patient" "he's just got some learning disabilities, it's fine". Yes he is disabled, but his behaviour was becoming a worrying problem for us. How far will it go?
Every year we get customer service training, so decided to take the trainer aside to get some useful advice. She specialised in dealing with difficult customers. She gave some excellent advice.
So for the last 6 months our interactions with him have gone like this.
He walks in waves, stands still.
We smile "hello, do you have a question for me?"
He says "no" and stares
We say "if you don't have a question, you can go straight in" and we physically point in the door.
He nods AND GOES AWAY! he looks round and leaves without problem. Amazing! Such an easy salutation.
Nope. One day. For the first time ever. He comes in with a carer. And this carer doesn't like how I speak to him. She puts in a corporate complaint about how I was rude and discriminatory to this disabled guy. Luckily my direct manager took my side, but is one of the only people who did. She has saved me from any formal reprimand, and has written a letter of apology to the guy. But I'm still getting comments about it from other people, that I did something wrong or should never have made a thing out of it all. I get told he was harmless, and now doesn't come in as much because of it.
My manager invited the carer to come in to discuss the situation, she never came in. This past month he has stopped coming in as much, which I'm not sad about. When he does he ignores use completely.
So am I the shitty person I'm feeling made out to be, who discriminated against someone with learning disabilities and stoped them from visiting somewhere he enjoys daily.because, I feel like I was just trying to protect myself from creepy stalkerlike behaviour.
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HISTORICAL
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avldqa
|
{
"description": "not getting off of the toilet for my mom",
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"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not getting off of the toilet for my mom.
|
This probably belongs here?? Idk where else this post would fit. This is my first time posting anywhere.
The gist of what happened: I entered to bathroom, locked the door and sat on the toilet to use it. Less than 10 seconds later my mom knocks on the door and tells me to open the door since she needed to get a comb. I told her that I would get it for her after I got up from the toilet.
She then started to rage about how it’s “disrespectful to make her wait for me to finish before she could get what she needed”, and that I should get up from the toilet to unlock the door for her.
The bathroom in my house is narrow. I can comfortably lie down with my head touching the door and my toes touching the base of the toilet and then some extra centimeters. (I’m 5’3 if that’s important.) So I couldn’t just lean over and open it, not to mention I’m still on the toilet. I calmly told her I would finish up as quickly as possible, but she got extremely angry when I said that and tried to yank open the door while ranting about how disrespectful I’m being.
After I’m done and I exit the bathroom she complains again about how disrespectful I’m being and continued to rant about it for the next two hours. She didn’t even go inside the bathroom to get the comb she needed.
Was I actually being disrespectful? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
"description": "hating my parent's for constantly making me watch my 2yo autistic brother",
"pronormative_score": 10,
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}
|
AITA for hating my parent's for constantly making me watch my 2yo autistic brother?
|
This is going to be a long one, so please grab a snack and get ready.
Before I go into detail, I want to tell you some background information. A few months ago my brother (we'll call him B) was diagnosed with level 3 ASD. For those of you who don't know, level 3 is the most severe, but each case is different.
He's also completely non-verbal, along with having a condition known as Pica. Pica is a condition in which someone will try and eat non-edible objects such as paper, rocks, etc. B will try to chew/eat anything he can get into his mouth, at times its been so bad that he's coughed up a small paper ball from tiny scraps of paper. He also has incredible strength for his age and little to no fear of pain. This combination leads to a daredevil of a toddler. This of course means he pretty much needs constant supervision and attention.
The thing is however, watching him isn't really the problem. Watching my siblings is something I've done for years (albeit not by choice) so it really isn't a problem for me. I love my parents dearly, and I know they love me too, but I'm getting to my breaking point. Everytime I come home, I'm either watching B or getting my 6yo sister off of the bus while my mom takes a nap with B. There's been times where they've pulled me out of school early to watch him. Every time I ask if someone else can watch him I get the spiel:
"We don't trust anyone else with him" "we can't afford a babysitter like that" "they won't change him enough (he has very sensitive skin, sitting in a dirty diaper for more than a few minutes will result in a rash)"
I understand that they're worried about other people watching them, but why can't they? They always find a reason to leave me with him, and my dad in particular is the worst with this. If he has plans, he will ALWAYS leave early and come home late. A week ago my dad came home 2 hours late without telling me at all. Neither of them are good at communication, so whenever I call them 9/10 they won't answer. I'm worried for the day that there's an emergency and they don't respond.
I've tried to explain this to them, and how it makes me feel used, but each time I'm essentially told that it's my "familial duty" to help them and that the reason I babysit so much is because they're working so they can feed me. That it's normal for people my age and in my circumstance to do what I do. At times it feels like they're trying to guilt trip me over them having to fo their jobs as parents, and like I'm some burden. They both had horrible childhoods, and I truly believe that they think that their parenting is normal.
Good news however, is that I convinced them to pay me to do it, however I do not get payed Every time I babysit, and when I am payed, it's typically not much.
AITA for feeling this way? Am I being selfish here like they say or do you think it's not my responsibility? There's much more I can say, but I maxed out the character limit, so feel free to ask for more information.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a08fa5
|
{
"description": "waking my roommates up for a snack",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 41
}
|
AITA for waking my roommates up for a snack?
|
I currently live in a two bedroom apartment with two roommates (married couple). For a number of reasons, right now we are temporarily all sleeping in one room. I usually eat a late-night snack around 10 PM or so but regardless, I usually wake up around 2 or 3 AM pretty hungry. The way our situation works (again for a multitude of reasons), one of my roommates has all of the snacks and I don't have any direct/easy access to any food, so I have to wake her up to give me a snack. Usually I end up waking the guy up too since we are all in the same room.
If I don't eat at 3 AM and just wait until they get up around 6 or 7 (or later) I would be very hangry/cranky the entire half of the night and literally crying because I am so hungry. Currently, neither of my roommates is working so even if I wake them up for a snack, it's not like they have anything to do in the morning so they can sleep in.
AITA for waking up my roommates for a 3 AM snack every night?
EDIT: State is MA and I am a 6 week old newborn/baby. The married couple are my parents.
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WRONG
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VkDr3CpxJ4dfop7CnBLVHBZ3qbKQ1Z39
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ah3pnb
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{
"description": "not not wanting to rub my girlfriend's neck constantly",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for not not wanting to rub my girlfriend's neck constantly?
|
Using a throwaway because Im scared of my judgement lol.
My girlfriend has had an issue with her neck since we started dating. She calls it a "neck pop" where if she moves the wrong way, she'll tweak a muscle. I dont doubt she has a problem, she goes to a physical therapist for it and apparently she told my girlfriend that itll never fully go away.
The thing that bothers me is that whenever it happens, she make this loud gasp/moan sound, even if we're out in public. Then she asks me to rub it for her, regardless of where we are or what were doing. Its like shes milking it for attention.
Yesterday I got fed up with it. We were at the mall and suddenly she basically shrieked and sat down on a bench with her head sideways and asked me to rub her neck. People were staring and I told her to rub it herself and get up and stop being dramatic, and she started crying and told me I have stronger hands than her. I walked away and left her on the bench.
So, I ask you all, am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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wH7iC0mgIzowzapaMw6t0nprzIIpVxxW
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a4jwot
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{
"description": "wanting my fiances dog to be rehomed",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my fiances dog to be rehomed?
|
When we met, he had a very young cattle dog (25kg) and I had 3 small, senior dogs (5,6,8kg) that I rescued from abuse over the last several years.
His dog always played a bit rough with the smaller ones and I pointed it out but he did little to change it. So I did research, used the reddit dogs forum, gave him a huge document with training methods, information about the breed and their needs (I think it's unfair to have a working dog when you live in the city and work 12+ hour days), life enrichment, aggression minimisation, socialisation, you name it.
There were a few scuffles here and there but it didn't seem too bad, and can be expected with 4 dogs under 1 roof...
But then, almost a year after moving in together, I come home to find blood EVERYWHERE - she's attacked one of the dogs, cue huge vet bills and weeks of healing a punctured throat, antibiotics, wound washing, painkillers, pureed food etc.
I do the research and book a specialist to come to the house, she gives us advice for how to attempt to fix it all, the biggest being to walk her more, train her more, enrich her life and keep them separate 100% of the time.
It's a huge undertaking but I agree to it all, so long as my fiance does her exercise - I have small dogs because constant walking and fetch just aren't for me. He walks her every few days still and does about 10% of the recommended training. I researched weighted vests do the walks would be more tiring - never bought one.
Next week, while we were out, a door wasn't properly latched, came home to find blood everywhere, even up the walls, for a second time. She's attacked another of the dogs and I'm off to the vet again in a blubbering mess. Cue weeks of healing again.
​
I told him that day that I was no longer happy living like that. Opening one door then shutting another and needing to do separate toilet breaks and alternate which dogs get cuddles, where to feed them, all the separation stuff! We are trying to home her with his brother. I love her dearly and I've been in tears over this but it's just making life too hard, I'm always scared I'll come home to a dead dog :'(
So many of his friends have told me off, "she was here first", "how dare you", "if you expect him to get rid of his dog then you should get rid of yours".
​
AITA for expecting her to be rehomed?
|
HISTORICAL
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wStWtoUY5mgiO6zIevEEYDyJhRPKiMEo
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9v159m
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{
"description": "wanting to call in sick",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to call in sick?
|
I just got a seasonal job for the holidays (I should mention it’s retail). I’ll only be with them for three months or so, but I need the extra money.
When I went in for the initial onboarding process, I informed my new manager that I would need to call a few days off—I did the math, and it was a total of 6 days. Two are for a job I already work and have already been scheduled for, and 4 were for family vacations that have been planned since the beginning of the year. I wanted to call them off before I was officially signed on so we wouldn’t have to talk about them again because I absolutely hate asking for days off.
When I told her this, she essentially brushed me off and told me that she couldn’t take any day requests from me because I wasn’t in the system yet. She didn’t bother to take any notes or anything, and essentially acted like it wasn’t a big deal and that we’d deal with it when I came in for my first shift. Fair enough.
I went in last Thursday and had a really great first day, but upon looking at the schedule, I discovered that she had scheduled me for one of the exact dates I needed to ask off—it was for one of the family vacations I mentioned; it had been planned since March. I told my manager that I had needed that day off and she basically told me “Sorry, it’s your problem now, find somebody to cover it.” Problem is, I didn’t know anybody to ask as it was my first day. I went into our storewide group chat and asked if anybody would be available and almost everybody has declined, even after I offered to buy whoever took it lunch and pay them an extra $50 for their troubles. No dice.
The girl who trained me is an angel on earth, and essentially told me that it would be okay if I called in sick for that day, being that the shift isn’t for another two weeks and that our manager has more than enough time to get somebody on it. She even told me she would stay past her shift to cover me if they needed. All in all, she told me it wasn’t a big deal. I felt better, but my fear is that being that I’m only a seasonal employee and I’ve barely worked, I feel like calling off without getting an official cover is wrong, and could be grounds to get me fired. I’ve never worked retail before, so I’m not entirely sure what the law of the land is.
So here poses the question, am I the asshole for wanting to call in sick that shift?
|
HISTORICAL
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LnpVORi1F3EQo7EiOU0EbShze8ZsTIjp
|
az86jd
|
{
"description": "breaking up because my Girlfriend had an abortion",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Breaking Up Because my Girlfriend had an Abortion?
|
I am pro life. I believe that abortion is taking away the life of another human. That being said, I don't think people who have abortions are bad people. I understand that they do not view an unborn child as a human life, and thus are not affected by abortion in the same way that I am.
My girlfriend and I had been together for 2 years. We both recently graduated from universities and were going to move in together. Neither of us were ready for a child quite yet. However, despite using many forms of contraception, my ex got pregnant.
Though I did not want a child yet, I was in a place where I could financially support a child and give them a good life. I told my girlfriend that I wanted her to keep the baby. She told me she didn't. I told her that aborting a child goes against everything I stand for, and that if she went through with this I wouldn't be able to stay with her. I understand that in the end, I can't stop her or force her to have the child, so I didn't try. I told her how I felt about it, and she told me she was going to abort it anyways.
So she did. I broke up with her, and she was devastated. She said she didn't think I was serious and that she should mean more to me than an unborn child. While I respect that she has the right to get an abortion if she so chooses, I just cannot be in a relationship with someone who would.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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ClXCCBPiWUw22wRHPEwVg0iSuEgnufkp
|
ac8pq9
|
{
"description": "ignoring a homeless person",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for ignoring a homeless person?
|
So I am a poor working class guy that lives in a poor working class neighborhood. And it over the last 8 or so years has become overrun with homeless people. There are people pan handling at every light, in front of every convenience store and liquor store. I never have cash on me and I am pretty damn poor myself. I don't have much to give away. But they have started to become very pushy.
They will ask you if you have spare change, you will say sorry you don't have any cash, they will say, well can you buy me some food and you will say you can't afford it and they will keep going with well it is only a dollar and keep pushing until someone else shows up for them to ask.
So this morning I was late for work and was rushing into 7-11 for my morning coffee. A homeless person asks for change and instead of engaging and having spend the time to reject him 50 times I just ignore him and keep walking. So he follows me and says, "Please, I am just asking for a little help" and I keep walking. I go inside and he rushes infront of me and tells me off. Something along the lines of, "How can you ignore another human being? You could at least just tell me know. I am homeless but I am still a person, you are such a fucking asshole!"
I respond with, "Dude, I got nothing for you, I am in a hurry to get to work, get the fuck out of my face!" and I push past him. I ended up getting so many dirty ass looks that I just left without my coffee.
So am I an asshole for ignoring the homeless guy?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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di1xul3xrtpRpzsi2KbPOxboZfFT6Qkn
|
b76zi8
|
{
"description": "not wanting to stay at home for college",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to stay at home for college?
|
Hi Reddit! So I’m 18f and I’m a senior in high school right now. I’ve applied to a bunch of colleges and gotten accepted to a few that I really like (re: a tiny little college I got to visit and fell in love with and is also relatively cheap to go to on scholarship), but I DIDN’T apply for our local public university. It’s a great school, but I’ve been waiting my whole life to leave the state (and telling everyone I meet that I’m gonna move away ASAP), and I really would rather not.
The university is only about 45 min from my house, and my mom wants me to go there so that I can go to school and live at home to save me some money. But things have always been really tense with my mom (she has a tendency to blow up small things and then ignore me until I apologize even if I wasn’t in the wrong), and I’ve been looking forward to the idea of not having to be around her as often anymore. In fact, the best week of my life was probably when I was at a week long stayaway camp where I didn’t have to see her (ironically on the campus of the university I didn’t apply to).
And even though I have a pretty good scholarship to my tiny little college I’m in love with, she’s still talking about how much I should stay at home, to save money while I get my degree, and how taxing it’ll be for me to travel home for holidays and summers.
The kickers here are that:
1) My parents aren’t paying a single dime
for my college tuition, it’s all gonna be on me
2) My mom constantly belittles me for even wanting to go to college. I want to study Psychology and eventually get a PhD, but she’s always making underhanded (or usually, loudly on the phone with her friends) comments about how I “won’t make it in college” and how I “should look into being a plumber, they make bank annually” (no hate on plumbers, their jobs are important af, but that’s not my path)
So, Reddit, AITA for not wanting to stay with my mom anymore and for running to an out of state college ASAP?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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iQt1PnrJ23P2COsSXx89K35zfzJTW51W
|
ab81hk
|
{
"description": "spending new years with my family instead of my gf on her bday eve",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for spending new years with my family instead of my GF on her bday eve?
|
Hi everyone,
Over the last few days i have tried to organise what I will be doing for new years eve. As it's my GFs birthday on the 1st I left the decision upto her.
We currently live separately and both live at home with our parents, we are both an hour travel from eachother (not much I know).
This year she wanted to spend new years eve seleratly at home but gaming online with our friends like we do most nights. I know this is important to her to game with them and I know it's what she wants to do.
This issue arises when I spent some time with my family having a few drinks and playing a few games to usher in the new year. She felt that I wasent living upto my end of the deal and helping her celebrate the way she wanted to. I made sure that I split my time to game with her and friends and time with my family all up I believe I spent about 6 hours with her and 2-3 with family.
Shortly before midnight she got upset and went offline so it wasent until about 12:20 that we exchanged happy new year and I said happy birthday.
So am AITA for trying to keep everyone happy and splitting my time between them? I feel bad that I didn't game like she thought we would but I would have felt bad if I didn't spend time with family either.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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yhtiCDrTEXgygCyWXFPx1chgYzzRPEVz
|
ad3oew
|
{
"description": "always bringing my own snacks into the movie theater",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for always bringing my own snacks into the movie theater?
|
I think it’s sort of the standard that outside food and drinks aren’t allowed in theaters since most of the revenue comes from the food.
Still, my girlfriend and I almost always bring some snacks and drinks in her purse into the theater. Growing up, this was pretty normal among my friends but I’m starting to wonder if I’m an asshole for this.
On one hand, theaters are using somewhat sneaky tactics by ‘forcing’ you to by their food (of course you could just eat nothing if you’re really hurting for the money), but on the other hand the agreement is that for $12.00 or so, you can see a movie if you don’t bring your own food.
I’m struggling a bit financial-wise, and I only see movies once every few months for dates. That extra $10-15 for popcorn and drinks can hurt. If I were to decide to not bring in snacks, I still wouldn’t buy food there. My girlfriend might though.
AITA for bringing my own snacks into the movie theater?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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